#it's like a son for a son bc the impact of the revenge needing to be the same?

[zazikels]

lmao condal will be like 'noo why do people like d*emon he's not a good guy!!!' but he won't have the balls to make d*emon explicitly be the evil that he is in the book re: b&c lmao.

[howtobecomeadragon]

hello!! this is perexcri because tumblr is dumb and doesn't let sideblogs send asks :) anyway!! for the book asks: 32, 38, 103, 129, and also 71!! i need some good lgtbq+ book recs and am always open to suggestions :] 💜💜💜

hello hello!!!! :)

32: your favorite nonfiction novel

i don’t read much nonfiction, but of what i’ve read, Know My Name by Chanel Miller stands out from the rest. not only was it really emotionally impactful, but also really informative about the criminal justice system (and its many failures to protect victims of sa). very very heavy though, and look into trigger warnings going into it!

38: your favorite series

this is a very hard question. i can’t… i can’t narrow it down. i’ll share a few.

Inkheart: a childhood favorite that i still revisit often. characters come out of books. it’s magical :)

Six of Crows: this duology is so popular for a reason. they’re just amazing. amazing plot, characters that will stick with you forever, and every romance is perfect (there is a queer relationship in here!). there is scheming, heists, magic, found family, revenge.

In the Woods (Dublin Murder Squad): i’ve only read two of these so far, but they’re detective books! they really pull you in and make you feel disoriented in the best way. they just totally transport you somewhere else.

The Foxhole Court (All for the Game): it feels insane and ridiculous to include this book on this list, but this book series was all i thought about for a week as i read them, and i still think about them all the time, three years later??? they’re ridiculous, it’s about a made up sport and the mafia, it’s so outside of what i usually read, and yet i was captivated. and i’m not alone, there’s like a very small dedicated following to the series, it’s like a little cult classic. it’s self-published so they’re not extremely polished, but it’s not too bad at all. i got them all as ebooks for like $5, but i loved them so much, i bought them all in print too. a bunch of crazy stuff happens, definitely check tw if needed! there’s also an extreeeeeemely slow burn queer romance in here, but like, it’s slooow.

103: a book that deals with heavy topics

Neverworld Wake is one of my favorites. it’s kind of like dealing with grief in a limbo time loop.

Sadie was a devastating book, about big sister’s love for her little sister, and made me sob. check out trigger warnings as needed!

also, i don’t own this one, but My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell. this book isn’t for everyone, but it’s an exploration of csa and grooming from a teacher, with flashes forward to the narrator’s experience confronting what she thought to know to be true about that relationship within a 2017 context when that teacher has been accused of abuse. check out trigger warnings as needed.

129: a book with beautiful prose

The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender. beautiful but definitely check out trigger warnings!

71: your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

i’m going to give you lots of recs bc it seems like you want a lot, and i have read a lot :)

In Other Lands: one of my favorite books of all time. silly YA fantasy, bi mc, amazing characters that stick with you.

Red, White & Royal Blue: goofy little son of the president x prince of england romance

Autoboyography: kinda insta-lovey, but explores a lot of IH and religious homophobia (love interest is mormon)

Charm Offensive: it’s like the BACHELOR, but he’s ANXIOUS, and he doesn’t fall for any of the CONTESTANTS, but rather a GUY CREW MEMBER with DEPRESSION. 5/5, amazing.

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe: a classic!!! a couple teens figuring things out.

A Dowry of Blood: not my favorite, but it’s Dracula and his brides, it’s queer and poly.

Song of Achilles: a classic!!!! the fall of troy and everything that came before that.

Wolfsong: it’s a whole series about gay werewolves. what more can you ask for??

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue: not my favorite, but fun. an adventure!!!

Every Heart a Doorway: first in a series of novellas, so much great rep. people find doors to other worlds that they slip into, but the story picks up once they’re back and homesick.

I’ll Give You the Sun: one of those like… early queer books that i read before i knew i was queer, but it made me feel so much at the time. permanently imprinted in my brain.

Fence: there are graphic novels, and then a couple novels. it’s fencing at a boarding school, and everyone is so so so gay. the novels are hilarious too, written by the same author as In Other Lands.

some books that i don’t own and didn’t love, but were pretty good: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Only Mostly Devastated by Sophie Gonzales, Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales (explores biphobia and attachment styles, which was really interesting!), History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera (oh my GOD this book made me sob, it’s so much heavy grief), She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (fake dating), Her Name in the Sky by Kelly Quindlen (wlw but a lot of IH and religious homophobia)

i’ve read more that were just so-so, and have a ton of unread queer books, so if you want more ideas, let me know! i have a lot more i can give you, just without my personal stamp of approval :)

book rec asks here!

[algabyan]

- matthias went back to hating nina's guts when she put him in jail. his first few chapter povs in six of crows are all about his dreams of hunting her down and torturing/hurting her with his bare hands and hating himself viciously for his "other" dreams. when they reunited, he immediately tries to strangle her. the show watered down his hatred by removing the book scenes of him likening her to a dog or saying that her kind shouldn't exist or the fact that he had no clue, no clue at all!!, that she stayed in ketterdam for him while he was in hellgate. he thought she left him there to rot

-zoya hated alina for her power, the only thing the darkling wanted alina for. i hated the implication that show!zoya warmed the darkling's bed and that she was sexually jealous of alina replacing her that way. zoya was his general bc she was powerful, not bc of her flirtarious nature and not thru sleeping together. that implication, along with his show-invented love interest being the reason behind the fold, removed from the impact of the darkling manipulating alina's emotional vulnerability when he appealed to her romantic notions of him. he is not some lonely, touch-starved boy in need of company to fulfill his sexual needs. thats the last thing on his mind and a disservice to zoya's character and her past. (she, however, did seek out mal. Again not for any power-grabbing motives bc he doesn't have any power to offer anyways but bc he's pretty. thats it. its literally bc he's pretty.)

-the grisha triumvirate is specifically designed to represent the three orders to show that they are equal to each other and no longer enforcing grisha hierarchy. it didn't make sense for show!alina to say that her, genya, and zoya represent the grisha triumvirate bc her and zoya are both summoners. its supposed to be genya, zoya, and david.

-pekka stepped down after kaz threatened his son. he removed himself from the barrel. he had lost his reputation and credibility and now all he wants is to keep his family safe. he did not seek revenge against kaz. i did not like that pekka seemed to be regaining power again in hellgate and just waiting for the day to bring kaz down. he lost and that should have been the end of pekka's story

-adrik lost his arm and learned to summon without it and this should not have been glossed over by providing an easy solution with the metal arm. we saw none of the struggle or trauma of the war and its aftermath in its entirety

-alina loved her blue kefta!!!!!!! and nina loved her red kefta!!!!!! (and bonus,,, matthias loved nina and her being a grisha, hence his affectionate nickname "little red bird" for the red of her kefta)

for people who haven’t read the shadow and bone/ six of crows books, but have seen the show:

- inej ghafa is a survivor of childhood sex trafficking. she has ptsd and reacts in a panic attack at even walking past the menagerie

- kaz’s trauma isn’t just pekka rollins being responsible for jordie’s death, and waking up on the barge. he had to swim to shore, age nine and barely alive, using jordie’s body as a float

- the darkling has done far worse things than are shown on screen. he is not a ‘lost man’ and alina is not his ‘balance’

- alina was seventeen upon the darkling being nsfw/ romantic with her

- matthias helvar did not lead drüskelle, that was jarl brum- matthias is only just barely an adult himself

- the crows are not their own separate gang, they are part of the dregs, who per haskell leads and kaz takes over from haskell after haskell sold out his lieutenant (kaz) to pekka rollins

- zoya, genya, and alina have personalities outside of either being traumatised or hating each other

- alina never wanted any of the power and fame and idolatry, and in the end of the books is stripped of it all. she is very happy about this

- jesper is a gambling addict and somebody who watched the death of his mother

[convenientalias]

Eve vs. City of Streamer--Who Wore It Better?

Since this year I happened to watch two shows that came out in 2022 about a woman seducing someone in order to avenge herself upon the person's family, I thought it would be fun to make some comparisons and see which show comes out on top. The two shows in question being:

Eve: A 16-episode kdrama. Contemporary thriller genre. The protagonist seduces the son-in-law of the family she's targeting with the aim of learning the family's secrets but also breaking her love interest's relationship with his wife (one of her primary revenge targets), hopefully resulting in a humiliating divorce and mental breakdown for both of them. Except then, oh no, she falls in love for real!

City of Streamer: A 40-episode cdrama. Republican era setting. The protagonist seduces the young master of the family she's targeting, mostly with the aim of maintaining her place in the family (which she joined as a tutor to the young master and the family's two daughters) so she can gather information on them as a spy for someone else who also is after revenge. Except then, oh no, she falls in love for real!

So right off the bat there are some similarities and some obvious differences. Further comparison will be under the cut bc there will be some spoilers ;)

Female Leads

So I'm giving ratings out of ten for each of these sections and I'll just say beforehand that Seo Ye-ji and Jing Tian are both perfect to me so there's no real competition here but the differences are still interesting.

Eve: Lee Ra-el is highly melodramatic. Her character single-handedly gives the show its kind of dark and sexy vibe. She is obsessed with revenge, loves (and needs) the tango, has self-destructive tendencies (including a tendency to self-harm, but also a general lack of self preservation instinct), and wants not only to destroy her targets financially but break their very souls. Kind of a disaster. Her love interests would like to protect her. Good luck with that, guys. I would like to say her soft spot is children but frankly I'm not even sure that's not an act on her part (and sometimes it pretty clearly is). Incredible fake smile. 10/10.

City of Streamer: The first word I associate with Feng Shizhen is "calm" and the second is "competent". Feng Shizhen wants revenge, but given that the incident she's avenging had a somewhat lesser impact on her life, she's pretty clear-headed about it and it's not the only thing she cares about. She still has a family, and sometimes gets invested in the lives and troubles of the Rong family too. Her revenge target is Rong Dingkun--well, also his business, but mostly just Rong Dingkun, head of the family she's infiltrated. She has an excellent poker face but can also play a pretty good wounded gazelle when called upon. Watching her, you have a sense of confidence she can solve whatever predicament she's landed in. Her love interests would probably like her to step on them and honestly same. 10/10.

Male Leads

No one here is going to live up to the female leads' energy but do they try??

Eve: Kang Yoon-kyeom is the most boring part of this show. Okay, I don't hate the guy. He's clearly in an abusive relationship with a controlling, manipulative, and homicidal woman. But you just don't get to see much emotional depth in him until towards the end of the show--until then it's kind of a "just trust me, he's deep" kind of situation. I have limits with how much stoicism I can enjoy. That said once he and Ra-el are together he does get more fun and I enjoy his eventual breakdown but not his ending. Since I'm only giving moderate spoilers here I won't get into that but seriously what the fuck. 4/10, I didn't hate him? I just think Ra-el has more chemistry with. Basically everyone.

City of Streamer: I actually expected to dislike Rong Jiashang based on prior experiences with the actor, but Rong Jiashang's actually pretty fun. It's all about the journey from stoic to simp in this kind of show and Jiashang really devolved pretty fast. That said, he has things going on outside his romantic life. He has conflicted feelings on his family and the family business and works to make changes based on his moral qualms. He loves his sisters. He has actual friends. He has dreams of becoming a pilot and collects model airplanes. Generally more of a three-dimensional human being than Kang Yoon-kyeom and a pretty good character. 7/10.

Did We Get Second Male Lead Syndrome?

Eve: Seo Eun-pyeong IS cooler than Kang Yoon-kyeom but that isn't really saying that much. He blocks a knife at one point! He tells Ra-el she can count on him! He's also a politician with possibilities of becoming the future president but the instant Ra-el shows up she is his Number One Priority, to the extent that he's willing to compromise all his idealistic politics (or at least put them on hold) for the sake of helping her with her revenge plans. I'm ambivalent on this--yes we love obsessive love but we also love a dude with other things going on. I honestly would have preferred if Eun-pyeong's attraction to Ra-el remained ambiguous or if they stayed platonic tbh, bc they met when she was still a teenager and I kind of preferred his initial protective and almost parental vibe towards her. Like he once watched her dancing the tango and the music playing in the background was just kind of heartwarming and calm. That's the unsexy relationship I was enjoying between the two of them but I wouldn't be against shipping them except that being the case I would prefer her to actually like him back. His unrequited love does very little for me. 6/10 I still liked the dude but I wanted either "selfless protective (possibly platonic) love" or "actual relationship" from them and it's not what I got.

City of Streamer: Meng Xu'an is UNHINGED. A complete delight. When you first meet him, you're like, "huh this dude is kind of shady, but he's Feng Shizhen's boss so of course he must be working for the greater good." Later on you're like, "Oh hm. His methods can be a little immoral and he seems VERY smug about the chaos going down here (which is also affecting innocents) but it DOES look sexy on him and there's no serious harm done so?? good for him I guess." and slowly you roll downhill towards the realization that this man is absolutely down for murdering innocents if it will help him achieve his revenge plans and is much more deeply invested in this revenge than our actual protagonist, and you know what? It's still sexy. Did I ship him with Feng Shizhen? Yes and no. They have a great vibe and yes it is hot when they scheme together AND when they yell at each other and throw things but I have a hard time seeing Feng Shizhen be into him. But in a sense that doesn't matter. The important thing is I liked what I got. 10/10, this dude drives at least half the action of the whole show.

The Central ~Seduction~ Dynamic

Eve: High melodrama to match Ra-el's melodramatic energy. Ra-el's INITIAL APPROACH is contriving to have Yoon-kyeom accidentally see her and her husband (yes, there's a lot of infidelity in this show) having sex in a dressing room. Then she tells him they must be "twin flames", something akin to soulmates/fated lovers. It's all very intense but I have a hard time buying it bc her tactics are so blunt and forceful all the time; it's not surprising Yoon-kyeom is initially suspicious. Equally I have a hard time buying that Ra-el would actually fall in love with Yoon-kyeom bc behind all that passion, where's a core of honest affection? The show offers a couple moments of ~vulnerability~ between the two, but... Idk. 4/10.

City of Streamer: Feng Shizhen doesn't initially plan to seduce Rong Jiashang at all; it's mostly something she stumbles into in order to keep him under control while she does her spywork, and then uses so that she can keep his love for her as her in with the Rong family. Her tactics are very bait-and-switch. First she'll praise Jiashang's skills as his tutor and offer him some very hands-on lessons, and then she'll go cold and say there's nothing between them if he tries to approach their mutual attraction directly. I have an easy time believing Jiashang would fall for it, and I can also believe she would fall for him, mostly bc he's actually a pretty nice and likeable guy. But sometimes she can go a little far--while Ra-el will declare love at first sight, Feng Shizhen strings Rong Jiashang along for so long it can get very frustrating. 7/10.

My ratings for these relationships are almost the same as my feelings on the male leads, I guess!

Fashion

It's important to look good while getting revenge. You have to look good while your enemies are suffering, basically. At least that's how I feel about it.

Eve: Impeccable. Ra-el in particular is just look after look. Showing up at her enemy's daughter's birthday party in a dress that looks like a green rose. Wearing a simple black and white suit during some final confrontations as the truth boils closer to the surface. Never going anywhere without stiletto heels. Ra-el's fashion is part of her mask, part of what allows her to infiltrate high society and entrance those in it--not only Yoon-kyeom but Han So-ra as well, and many others. 10/10.

City of Streamer: The fashion is very generic. I try to remember outfits from this show and I can't. I just looked at a bunch of pictures from it and my main takeaway was, I can see why I forgot them. Lots of solids, lots of simple dresses. They suit Feng Shizhen's calm and simple image but they do not appeal. Now, Republican era fashion is not my favorite in general but I've watched shows set in this era that still had some memorable outfits. Winter Begonia has most of its characters in generic suits but the MCs still had their own distinctive look--Shang Xirui's being uniformly bland to contrast his look on stage, Cheng Fengtai's distinguished with a little flamboyance. Granting You a Dreamlike Life has Luo Fusheng, whose outfits are all over the place but always enjoyable and noticeable. City of Streamer just is not doing it for me. 2/10. I tried looking at Meng Xu'an's outfits bc I figured they might be more interesting and they're basically just suits :( Two points bc I do like the hair. If you want to see Jing Tian in a show with showier and more interesting fashion, watch Rattan.

Homoeroticism

It's all very well to have sexual tension with the guy you're seducing but what about having homoerotic tension with some random other character???? I think we have to keep this in mind.

Eve: I loved Ra-el and So-ra's dynamic. It's terrible, of course. It starts out with a kind of high society mean girl and henchwoman dynamic that would be catnip to me already and eventually transitions into archnemeses-going-off-the-deep-end territory. Deceptive friendship to blatant, outright loathing. I need more f/f ships like this in my media. 10/10, I only wish Ra-el had actually seduced So-ra instead of Yoon-kyeom but I guess that would just be a different story entirely.

City of Streamer: I'm gonna be real with you, guys, there is not much here. Feng Shizhen does have some nice friendships with various women, especially one woman who she helps escape the Rong household early in the show, but... there's no real tension there imo. There are two other female characters I love in this show (one being Jiashang's fiancee, the other being one of Rong Dingkun's concubines), and neither really gets to know Shizhen--their primary relationships are also with men. I don't really see any great m/m ships here either tbh. Personally I would OT3 Shizhen/Jiashang/Xu'an, but there's no real basis for this, I just think the chaos would be interesting. 2/10, I can imagine it but there's nothing really there.

DID THEY GET REVENGE THOUGH?

The most important question.

Eve: Yes. Can't say they didn't. I do wish the court case that the show built up to had been more important but it played its role, and the mind games playing a larger role in the final denouement makes sense given the kind of overall game Ra-el is playing. 9/10 for revenge bc I personally wish the fallout had been different but it was very revengey.

City of Streamer: Yes? At various points? Feng Shizhen's revenge contributions are at their peak in the first half of the show, I'd say. From there the conflict is driven by other players, while Feng Shizhen's plotline focuses more on the question of whether she and Rong Jiashang could ever be together. Towards the end she steps back into the game, but never quite with the same clear focus, and ultimately, the ending feels a bit random. Still more revenge than many revenge dramas have offered me though. 7/10.

THE GRAND TOTAL:

Eve: 53

City of Streamer: 45

In the end, Eve wins with the power of homoeroticism and fashion! I personally liked City of Streamer better overall and am now wondering if I should have weighted the various categories differently but oh well! It's all part of the game! If we knew how it would end, what would be the point of playing it! Eve really did wear revenge seduction drama better but I do recommend both because they both were really good!

[curiosity-killed]

Lang Qianqiu deserves more love goddammit: a post, unfortunately

This brought to you by the wonderful @veliseraptor & @/yuer on Twitter but also mostly out of spite and the fact that it’s preventing me from writing a very dumb poke-the-bear post abt the entire weird social media culture around The Minors

As always ✨SPOILERS!! SPOILERS EVERYWHERE✨

So first off: when I hit the scene where lqq confronts xl and screams “I will never be like you” I sat up in bed, did a little shimmy of delight, and hissed “fuck yes” at like 2 AM so. Now you have a preview of wtf this train wreck will be

1 ) lqq is a good character

We don’t get a ton of time with lqq because tgcf is 87 side characters running across stage with The Most Interesting Concept constantly one-upping each other before vanishing. But what we do get is, I think, enough to make a pretty compelling story: Lang Qianqiu is a kind and generous prince who is also the sole survivor of the bloody massacre of his entire family, committed by the people dearest to him (both in his belief that Gusohi Fangxin did it and in the reality of An Le’s involvement), who goes on to peacefully lead his fractious nation into a peaceful reign before he ascends as a powerful enough (aka beloved and worshipped enough) god to be ranked among the top heavenly generals. That’s like. Pretty fucking classic protagonist vibes right there.

And, as usual with mxtx’s characters, we get a lot more than this lovely little backstory. In his interactions in canon, lqq is capable of great grief and anger; he is willing to sacrifice himself if it means avenging his murdered family; and he simultaneously holds both great hatred and great respect for his old teacher. And, of course, he winds up raising and taking care of his enemy’s son which shows a remarkable depth of compassion and emotional messiness that I find terribly compelling. He struggles with a simplistic view of justice that is supported by lies told to “protect” him and that is uprooted by the truth and forces him to try to make sense of the world without the guardrails that others installed around him (looking at you mister fangxin sir).

Also I’m stealing my own tweets bc I’m Right but:

*pulls up single barstool to lqq is a good character table* I think it’s interesting & Says Things abt the continued relationship btwn lqq & xl that lqq *didn’t* recognize xl, implying that he left fangxin’s mask in place even when he went to kill him

Like here is the man who killed his family & best friend, who left him abandoned in bloodshed on his 17th bday—& here is also the man who saved his life, who taught him, who lqq looked up to & wanted to be like

Even when lqq *does* recognize xl, he still has so much respect for him paired with that hatred that it’s honestly rlly tragic? Like man. There’s so much grief in lqq’s repeated demands for a duel & insisting it’s fine if xl kills him as long as he doesn’t hold back

*pats lqq pompom* this bb is so sad. And so much more like his teacher than either of them seem to realize or necessarily want

Despite being a pretty minor character, lqq gets a lot of complexity and nuance! Look at this child trying to be grown up while desperately turning to his old master for guidance and “the truth”! Look at him! Be sad!!

2 ) lqq is an excellent parallel to xl

Okay stealing my own tweet again don’t look at me I yell the same shit everywhere

Xl didn’t want lqq to become like him (self-sacrificing, vengeful, alone) but lqq not only became alone, chasing vengeance, & willing to sacrifice himself for revenge—he also became kind, open-minded, & remorseful!! & he still clearly respects xl @ novel end 🙃🙃

We all know hc’s “they’re not very alike at all” and yeah sure baby go support your man but narratively, there’s a lot of importance given to cycles, parallels, and foils in mxtx’s writing and most explicitly (compared to mdzs, haven’t read svss) in tgcf. For example, *gestures at beefleaf, gestures at Xianle Trio vs Wuyogn Crew, gestures at Xie Lian & Jun Wu’s whole uh. Deal.* And while I’d argue xl and lqq are part of a triumvirate rather than a pair, we’re not including mister three-face in this conversation so just looking at xl and lqq:

Both adored and sheltered crown princes

Both taught by a guoshi who was seeking to prevent the repetition of their own tragedies and in their efforts, lied/omitted information and failed to protect their charge from tragedy

Both were betrayed* by their closest friends

Both are the last living members of their respective royal families

Both caught the interest of supernatural beings from a young age

Etc etc I’m getting v bored and distracted writing this so moving on

Most importantly to me, we have their betrayal by a very close and adored mentor and how they react. The confrontation I mention at the start of this shitshow is really imo one of the most important scenes in the novel because it a) illustrates the differences in xl and Jun Wu and b) sort of gives you a preview of how xl ultimately wins

So a) Jun Wu and Xie Lian both take a talented, marked-for ascension young prince under their wing. Jun Wu sees himself in the boy and obsesses over shaping him into Jun Wu’s own image in the belief that this will make him the perfect heir. Jun Wu pushes his chosen heir into situations where Xie Lian is repeatedly harmed in an effort to show that the common people are fickle and cruel and don’t deserve his compassion and care.

Meanwhile, Xie Lian is reluctantly roped into mentoring his prince due to his inability to stand aside when he feels he could do something to prevent hurt or injustice befalling another (simultaneously his great strength and great weakness! God I love him). Xie Lian tries to teach his student to believe in and care for the common people and not to sacrifice himself (see: flashback convo re:taking the force of the sword strike into his own body).

When Xie Lian refuses to bend in the shape Jun Wu demands, Jun Wu bashes his head into the wall. When Lang Qianqiu cries “I will never be like you!”, Xie Lian laughs and says “Good!”.

B) this of course feeds directly into foreshadowing! Like Lang Qianqiu’s bold words, xl ultimately refuses to become like his mentor and remains defiant even when it would stop him from being hurt. Xl beats lqq and says so what if I tricked you, so what if I lied, I still won. Naturally, xl beats Jun Wu not through standard swordplay but by using a trick he learned while forced to busk and wander the earth alone and unlucky for centuries.

…okay so I have fully forgotten what I was actually saying here! Anyway!

Like Xie Lian, Lang Qianqiu spends a time consumed with the need for vengeance, hunting his enemy and rejecting the heavens. And like Xie Lian, he winds up caring for his enemy’s “son” and trying to both comfort him and maintain what’s left of Qi Rong’s life force despite having previously been hellbent on destroying him—bc he sees the impact it has on another person. In the end, he even gives a gift to Xie Lian—his mentor, his role model, and the one who killed his father—that was once given to him as a symbol of unexpected kindness. Sound familiar?

But, importantly, and contradictory to what I have been yelling abt but whatever it’s 12:30 am, Lang Qianqiu is not a direct mirror of Xie Lian but a closing of a vital loop in the story. Lqq is very similar to xl (I will die on this hill!! Only I won’t bc I’m stronger than y’all and will keep swinging these pots and pans) but bc xl tries to do better and keep lqq from suffering the way xl has, lqq is able to have a gentler and more optimistic path forward. He’s proof that even a small act of kindness or even kindness to only one person still matters and has a ripple effect that can’t be seen when you’re in the middle of it—a thread started with xl giving the coral pearl to Lang Ying and closed with Lang Qianqiu returning the pearl to Xie Lian.

So I have no idea if any of this is coherent or compelling but I meant to be asleep two hours ago and the points are:

A) Lang Qianqiu is good actually

B) parallels!!!

C) look ive already started another wip about Lang Qianqiu and Xie Lian and I didn’t want this but no one else wrote it so now I have to so pls just accept this as a warning

*sort of air quotes around this for Xie Lian bc frankly Mu Qing was right & Xie Lian kicked feng xin out BUT on the other hand, it was experienced as a betrayal and we also again have all of Jun Wu’s shit so it evens out

[ttuesday]

We just lost a family member. It was my uncle, it’s so sudden it kinda got me thinking while trying to escape reality for a bit:

What would the gang be like during crisis mode? Between the inconsolable sorrow and the desire for someone to pay. It can teeter between rage, survivors guilt, sorrow and all the other emotions that come with being numb from loss.

Especially Arthur mostly because someone needs to get got for causing such damage to the gang, and I know he says vengeance is a fools game but for his S/O I think he’d go John-Fucking-Wick on someone.

I’m also thinking Dutch, Javier, Charles and Hosea (he’s interesting bc he’s survived this long for a damn reason). And SADIE.

yo I know you know this already but if you need anything I'm always here <3 I hope these headcanons are good!

Arthur

Arthur's in shock. He knows what life as an outlaw is like, he's witnessed many deaths and destruction yet it's something he can never get used to.

His main priority is making sure you're ok. Seeing you upset makes him panic and he blames himself. Arthur won't stop going through different scenarios in his head where everything might've worked out ok.

He knows revenge is bad but knowing how this has impacted you and his own mixed feelings of regret and guilt pushes him over the edge.

Arthur packs his satchel full of everything he needs, loads up his guns and gets ready to track down whatever motherfucker that has caused this. You wake up just before he leaves your shared tent. You know what his plan is just from looking at him. Maybe you'll stop him or maybe you'll go with him, that's your decision.

Dutch

Dutch always tells the gang that revenge is a fool's game. It's a motto he's learned to live by but when business gets personal, Dutch can be quite the hypocrite.

Dutch knows that killing whoever caused this will bring you and everyone else the closure ye need but it isn't that simple. In one way, Dutch feels as though the world around him is caving in.

He spends the next few days alone in his tent. The only thing he's focused on now is finding an excuse to kill this person. Maybe the killer was also paying off the Pinkertons or maybe they're gonna be on a high society train that ye could rob.

Dutch knows he's going to kill them but now he has to make up a reason why that will align with his twisted morality.

Javier

Javier is confused. How could this happen? Why did this happen? It's like the entire gang is asking these questions yet no one can come up with an answer.

When Javier first heard about what happened, you were the first person he thought of. He didn't care how far away you were, he needed to go and see you. Maybe if he was fast enough then he could be the one to break the news to you.

He didn't say much when he saw you. Javier simply sighed in defeat as he wrapped his arms around you. He guided you over to a quiet spot and sat with you for as long as you needed.

Javier knows that if he’s determined on getting revenge, that could take months or maybe even years. But right now, revenge doesn't matter. The only thing he cares about now is you.

Charles

Things like this normally doesn't impact Charles that much, he knows that he has to accept it. But it's different when you’re involved. Charles wants you to be happy and to have a good life, not deal with grief and disaster.

Before you can even think about what's after happening, Charles is swiftly by your side and comforting you. Charles doesn't care about his own emotions, in all honestly he felt numb after hearing about what happened so instead he focuses on you.

Every morning Charles takes you out hunting so you can vent and express all the different emotions you're feeling without the whole gang listening in.

Sometimes when he's lying in bed at night, Charles wonders if he should try to get some kind of vengeance but he doesn't know if he can. That's something he'll only be able to figure out when he's face to face with the person responsible for all this sorrow.

Hosea

Hosea knows all the current emotions you're feeling. Denial, guilt, helplessness, sadness and maybe you might feel nothing at all.

At some point in his life, Hosea’s felt the same way so he knows how to help you through this.

But Hosea is quick to tell you that the best thing you can do is move on. If you go get revenge then that will only result in more pain and death. Life is hard, cruel and relentless, and the best thing we can do is try to keep up with it's constant punches.

Hosea will try his absolute best in helping you overcome all these different emotions but he thinks revenge is pointless and so that's one thing he can't help you with.

Sadie

Sadie's been where you are. She unfortunately knows a lot about grief. However you react to the news, Sadie stands by your side.

If you’re angry and lash out, she’s there for you. If you’re sad and need a shoulder to cry on, she’s there for you. If you need someone to tuck you into your goddamn bed at night, then hell, Sadie will do that too.

Sadie is all for revenge. She knows revenge is bad but sometimes that doesn’t matter and what’s important is getting closure. Not only that but she thinks revenge might be a good motivator to help you get back on your feet.

But right now she knows that you’re not ready to get revenge. The situation is too fresh. Sadie knows that the best thing to do now is help you through the grief and help you practice for when you finally kill the son of a bitch that’s responsible for this.

[personuhh]

okay so awhile ago you posted something about Yosuke (crazy, right?) and in the tags I believe you mentioned something about how you don’t like Yosukes parents? Could you elaborate? bc I have not stopped thinking about it since you mentioned it (sorry this is so vague my memory is horrid skjdjfjgj)

OYSUEJGHHBKEJHDSGVDH oh my god okay SO. At first I just got ~vibes~ from him... like, I couldn’t quite pin down what made me think he had abusive parents, because obviously he never says anything to indicate it explicitly, but then I started noticing... small things.

I don’t want to say outright that I think they’re abusive (physically or verbally) and I also don’t think that Yosuke hates them, or necessarily even sees anything wrong with how they treat him, but I do think that their behavior has severely impacted Yosuke and led to a lot of the negative traits he displays.

To me, the most telling example is this conversation where he talks about Teddie being praised by his parents for being “thoughtful” very pointedly in front of him. It seems to be a reoccurring thing where they compare him to other people (primarily Teddie) and make him feel inferior. Yosuke’s a bit of a pushover, and frequently gets taken advantage of monetarily, and in this case he’s caved and lent Teddie a significant chunk of his savings for their trip to Tatsumi Port Island... only for him to spend it on presents to suck up to Yosuke’s parents which makes Yosuke look unthoughtful. Yosuke clearly sees it that way, even if Teddie hadn’t intentionally planned it out from the start as such (he calls Teddie “surprisingly shrewd”).

Yosuke gets told off either because a) he didn’t want to fight back/argue, and instead just took a passive stance instead of telling his parents that he was the one to lend Teddie the money in the first place, and thus didn’t have any left to buy them gifts, or b) his parents think so little of him that they don’t believe him at all. He specifically says he doubts his parents understand, which makes me think that he did try to explain the situation.

There are also several instances of a large Junes event being Yosuke’s responsibility, or at least of him thinking that he has to scramble to make things work, like the Junes concert, where he says he’ll have to move away if it doesn’t pan out; maybe this is his own thinking, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was something his dad said to scare him into helping, especially considering he MUST know that Yosuke is friends with Rise, or the time during the summer where he calls Yu and begs him to help out. Yosuke isn’t a manager, but he’s still got all the responsibilities of one, and even tries his best to work out other employees’ problems as well (look at his SL).

The Junes concert in particular really sent up some red flags for me, especially because Yosuke says this.

“Awfully nice for some reason”?

Yosuke’s got terrible self-esteem, there are countless times where he’s shown to be overwhelmed and embarrassed by completely genuine praise from his friends. In one of the drama CDs he mentions that he intentionally doesn’t try his best in school because he doesn’t want to disappoint himself by doing poorly while also knowing that he gave his all. It really makes me think that his parents just have an abysmally low opinion of him, and he’s adopted that same view of himself.

There’s also several scenes where he talks about his parents finding his porn (or Teddie showing it to them) and in his SL he says his mom “read the title out loud to [his] family” which on top of obviously indicating his family is pretty conservative about that kind of thing, also means he’s had to learn to be secretive with them to some extent. In Arena, Yosuke’s mother goes as far as burning the porn Teddie finds. Even if it's meant to be humorous, Yosuke's property is still being destroyed.

Now these next few things are more... abstract and can definitely be argued, but personally I still find them important to point out when discussing the topic.

Yosuke obviously struggles with toxic masculinity, and similarly to Kanji, feels like he needs to be the ideal, strong man that protects the weak, etc. Even without looking at specific dialogue, you can tell that Yosuke’s been raised to think he needs to be a “real” man, that displaying more “feminine” behaviors is a sign of weakness; because that isn’t just subtextual, it’s something he very visibly displays, it’s part of his arc. He can’t mourn and cry, he has to get revenge (because he couldn’t protect Saki at the time and he watched helplessly as she died, it makes it his fault), he says hugs are for girls (a common sentiment, but he had to learn it from somewhere), and any time he slips up and reveals his actual feelings, he has to overcompensate, let everyone know that he’s just your average teenage boy who’s definitely interested in women. Yosuke’s not the most masculine guy, he likes fashion and cares about his appearance (the bar is so low) and I’d bet that if he were given space to explore his interests without any expectations, he might actually find he’s into stuff that goes against what he’s been taught. He admits to liking crossdressing, then walks it back; not because he’s ashamed of it (on the contrary, once he realizes people found him cute, he openly brags about it), but because he thinks he SHOULD be ashamed of it.

It’s why he feels so threatened by Kanji, who completely takes him by surprise when he realizes his outer appearance and interests don’t match up. Now Yosuke’s got to compete with Kanji over who’s the manliest, show that he’s not like Kanji, because Kanji’s already accepted that side of himself, and it totally goes against everything Yosuke’s been taught to think is “normal”.

So then we look at lines like this.

On its own it’s nothing special, but it’s not just the slogan itself, it’s the way that Yosuke specifically says that his dad is still saying it. Combining this with what I mentioned previously about Yosuke’s behavior, and a few other tidbits, like Teddie mentioning that he watches violent war movies with Yosuke’s dad, it definitely makes me think he’s the type of guy who’d try and push Yosuke into being more masculine, being a traditional, unshakable, unemotional man.

Lastly, there’s the recently identified album on Yosuke’s shelf in arena, and what do you know, one of the songs on it (The Chain, by Mr. Big) has these lyrics...

In my mind, I see Yosuke’s mother as an incredibly controlling, strict woman who expects her son to be utterly perfect, and even when he’s good, it’s never good enough. Yosuke’s father is busy with Junes, and while he isn’t around the house too often, Yosuke sees him at work quite a bit, large and in-charge, not allowing anyone to see weakness, he leans on his son because he can’t bring himself to ask for help. Yosuke’s left to pick up the slack, and he’s taught by example that relying on others is cowardly, that being intimidating gets you further than being “nice”. Even though Yosuke obviously goes against this, he can't fully commit for fear of standing out and disappointing his parents, and that makes him passive; he ends up being a pushover, and neither of his parents are happy about that. He’s a “disappointment” to them, it’s one of his defining traits that everyone loves to bring up. It's something that's shown to really get under his skin, but he can never do much more than get angry, because he truly thinks he is a disappointment, he doesn't think highly of himself, even if he protests.

Maybe I’m reading into all of these things a little too much, but... I don’t know, I’ve said it before, but I just don’t see how half of Yosuke’s personality would have been shaped by anything other than his parents being Not Great.

[ifeelallwrite]

Let’s talk about Hospital Playlist. (KDRAMA REVIEW)

note: does contain spoilers

When people ask me what is my favorite Korean drama of all time, with no doubt, IT’S HOSPITAL PLAYLIST. This drama has the comic relief, the emotional scenes, realistic characters-just to name a few. No toxic relationships and petty revenge fights. Nothing else will stop me for saying that this is the ultimate feel good drama.

SYNOPSIS: The drama shows insights into the daily lives of doctors and nurses working at Yulje Medical Hospital. It focuses on 5 doctors who have been friends since medical school, who also play together as a band.

This drama encompasses so many elements and characters so bear with me yo this might be real long 

Hospital Playlist is produced/written by the Shin-Lee PD and writer pairing, whose previous works were the renowned Reply trilogy and Prison Playbook (which are *chef’s kiss*) I really like that all their dramas really highlight humanism, and puts emphasis on creating a heartwarming and realistic series. There isn’t always a major conflict to be resolved, but instead it showcases how different people-in this case mostly those in the medical field-go on about their daily lives.  I also liked their reasoning to produce a medical drama which was that hospitals were where the most dramatic moments occurred, for example during births, deaths or sickness. And since we are still in the Covid-19 pandemic, it ties in greatly to be paying homage to all the medical personnel saving lives. Hence, props to those who were involved in this meaningful masterpiece <3

The drama is not the usual 16 episodes, but has 12 episodes for each season (SEASON 2 IS COMING SOON YAAS) Good thing is I felt that they were still able to weave a dynamic storyline in the first season even with lesser episodes. The writing was just top-notch with the witty humor bits. Additionally, the music is AMAZING. I love the concept of the main characters being a band and playing different songs every episode too.

Okay, now onto the characters. I thought that every character in this drama was well rounded. Starting of with the main five characters, also known as The 99ers, whose distinctive personalities and natural chemistry make all of them extremely likeable. All main characters are professors of different specialties, and I find the male OB-GYN (Seokhyeong) and female neurosurgeon (Songhwa) very refreshing. Also, I like Shin-Lee dramas always have characters that might be realistic yet hardly seen in other dramas or films. For example, Professor Ahn Jeongwon. Despite being a chaebol (inheritor/heir), he isn’t depicted as a spoilt brat or a cold character, instead as a warm Pediatric doctor who uses his wealth to secretly support patients in need. However it makes him stingy to his friends LOL

To be honest, I really thought I was gonna dislike Junwan due to his cold and tsundere nature. I pretty much believed that he was going to be the party pooper type of the bunch, but with the writer being a master of character development, he turned out to be really sincere and hilarious at times. Same for Ikjun, who apart from his enthusiastic and happy go lucky exterior, cares the most about the people around him. Although Seokhyeong seemed detached and introverted, he shows a emotional side to his friends as well as his mother. Songhwa is literally a girlboss though haha she’s smart, capable and gets along with everyone well. And she’s the most sane out of the bunch. 

With all the main characters, we have the relationships. Junwan is the first to date seriously with Iksun (the dog or Micky? jkjk) who is Ikjun’s sister. When it first happened I was like not again Jung Kyung Ho (bc he dated his best friend’s sis in prison playbook too LMAO) I think their relationship was realistic and open. It also showed a more sensitive side to Junwan who would do anything for her. I especially liked how he said he didn’t need access to her phone because he trusted her. Yet as all couples do, they have their fair share of ups and downs. Like conflicts on getting married and a long distance relationship as Iksun moves overseas for graduate studies. I don’t really know how to take the ambiguous ending for these two, as Junwan receives the returned box (that has the ring he sent) I really hope nothing bad happens to these two though.

I’m sure we all love Wintergarden couple though, tbh they’re kinda my OTP at the moment 🤣 It was pretty much a ‘will they won’t they’ relationship with a relatively slow build. I think Gyeoul turned out to be one of my favourite characters. Shin Hyun Been did a good job at portraying her as a straightforward but innocent Resident, who is pretty much openly crushing on Jeongwon. The scenes they had together were adorably awkward (and the scene where he gives her chocopies omg) And when Jeongwon battles his inner conflict to become a priest, the final decision where they kiss was beautifully shot, with the actors both showcasing their emotions extremely well. 

Then we have Chihong who pursues Songhwa, his professor. Midway through the drama, it is also shown that Ikjun and Songhwa might have had romantic feelings for each other. Songhwa ends up rejecting Chihong’s confession. In my opinion, Chihong was quite a interesting character but I didn’t really like him at the end. (I like the actor though) He did a real jerk move during drinking games, insisting on Ikjun to confess his feelings towards her even though he is already trying not to put Songhwa in an awkward spot. Although his character did end up making a cool exit and when I thought about his incredible story of soldier to doctor, I kinda regret disliking him that much. As for IkSong, In the final episode Ikjun confesses to her one last time, and we are left waiting for Songhwa’s reply. As much as I love this pairing, I don’t think that the ship will sail or maybe not as quickly as we think. I believe Songhwa would meticulously consider the sacrifices to their friendship or other aspects and might not be able to bring herself to it, but I hope it’s otherwise. 

Lastly not forgetting Seokhyeong and Minha, another Professor+resident pairing. This one’s a bit ambiguous though, mainly because there hasn’t been much romantic development. To me, the most impactful scene came from Minha who had been irritated by continuous night shifts and was on the verge of a breakdown. She ended up remarkably saving a patient, starting off surgery on her own for the first time. Oh man Minha was such a lovable character, I remember feeling so bad for her but extremely proud of her for her accomplishment. Although Seokhyeong seemed a bit aloof and distant (which was intentional bc he’s an introvert) I think the backstory and all the hardships he faced with his family really made me feel for him. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not so sure if the ship will sail because of the phone call from his ex-wife and Minha’s somewhat rejected confession. But who knows, they might pull off a twist 👀

Apart from all these characters, there are more characters HHAHAH However, I think this is the killing point of ShinLee dramas. Unlike typical dramas which usually focuses on a main character and 2-3 side characters, they like to cast a diverse range of actors (especially those from theatre/musicals and lesser known drama/movie actors) while actually give their characters personality or a reason to be there. I’ve seen many dramas where extras or side characters were kind of irrelevant thus making me feel that they weren’t needed to build the storyline, yet ShinLee dramas hit different y’all. Every role, no matter how small, holds significance to the drama. It really seemed like a collaborative work that shows off every actors skills (and not forgetting staffs) and teamwork.

Anyways because there are way too many characters and too many scenes for me to mention them all, I’ll just talk about some honourable mentions heheh

1. Sunbin and Seokmin confession scene (ahh so cute)

I kinda sensed that they liked each other at the start but I didn’t know Seokmin would ask her out on a date at the end. Even though it’s kinda awkward that they are dating and working with each other though (both are in the same department) but hey the confession was cute and awkward and just warm and fuzzy 🥰

2. MAMA ROSA IS THE QUEENN

I think we all (would) love Mama Rosa because she’s a real one ☝️ (probably the coolest mother ever) She’s feisty, hilarious and kind to others. Plus her friendship with Ju Jong Su was just adorable and super wholesome. The scenes where they were supporting one another through tough times and hanging out with each other when they felt lonely always put a smile on my face. Oh and how Mama Rosa treated Gyeoul was extremely sweet. (as well as Seokhyeong’s mother) Despite her tough exterior, she’s a likeable character for being a strong but caring woman.

3. Just Do Jae Hak

I seriously love this guy so muchhh omg he’s so funny

Do Jae Hak has a funny amd clumsy personality, though it’s clear he’s been through a lot and is strong willed person. From admitting his indecisiveness to counselling Jun Wan on his love issues, there’s literally nothing to hate about him.

4. Uju and his dadd

The father and son chemistry between these two is so good omg. The scenes with these two are so adorable and heartwarming (not to mention hilarious) It’s amazing to see how Ikjun cares so much for Uju despite his hectic workdays while going through infidelity issues with his ex-wife. Uju is matured for his age and shows his love and appreciation for his dad too, making their interaction a great portrayal of a healthy family relationship💞

5. the food stealing the show🥘

Who doesn’t love food and when a show has great food scenes? Some of the best scenes are definitely when the 99s gather to eat. It really showcases each character’s personality with the tiniest details as well as highlight warm delicious meals. Just don’t watch this when you’re hungry at 2am in the morning guys you’ll be drooling all over your screens HAHAHA

Of course there are way more aspects, like Hongdo and Yoonbok, Ikjun and Iksun’s pigeon jokes and raps, or Jeongwon drunk crying in the chicken shop with his brother (who was his coach in Reply 1994 when he played Chilbong LOL)

Most importantly, I think it is the themes and messages that you get from the drama that really create such a lasting impression. Not only does it hit you in the feels with the hardships of hospital patients, or the hardworking doctors+nurses who are working long shifts saving lives, it also tackles topics of friendships through the possibilities of platonic and friends-to-lovers relationships. However I think the biggest lesson for me came from Seokhyeong, who learns to live his life doing what he want, with the people he treasures. Although the drama might seem slow at times (mainly because there isn’t really a main plot line/conflict occurring), but this drama would still bring you on a journey where you would laugh, cry and finish the series, begging for season 2 ✌🏻

[thyandrawrites]

Ooo, so based on the last anon… how would you write Shoto reaching out to Touya then? Would you want Natsuo/Fuyumi/Rei involved? Or just Shoto doing it himself to reach out to the brother he never got to know and start a relationship with?

Ideally, yes, all the Todorokis should come together to accept him back in the family. I think Dabi needs to be shown that his existence has meaning because he is loved. Not because he could've been useful to his father's agenda. The inherent worthiness of his life is not his exploitability as a tool, but his value as a person, as a human being. A beloved brother and son.

This was how I wrote it in my fic, anyway. I had Dabi reach what he thought was his ultimate goal (getting back at his father) and still be tormented by that emptiness and lack of purpose, because imho at his core what he actually craves in not revenge but recognition. An acknowledgement of his pain. And I had him reach that by making the Todofam truly see him and genuinely care for the individual he is, despite everything.

Now, if we're talking about canon, though, my answer will be different. The above is just how I'd write it if this were a regular ya piece of fiction. But it's a battle shounen, so I don't think all the Todorokis will have the same amount of focus and impact in Dabi's saving. Out of all of them, Shouto and Endvr are the only licensed heroes, and this conflict will def spiral into a fight before we can get to any talking or heart to heart, because that's just how the genre works. So of course those two will have the biggest role here. I'm assuming that Shouto will be the major player here simply because for all his retconning, Endvr simply lacks the ability to empathize with people. But Shouto has already been shown to see himself in his brother, so he'll very likely be the one to smash through Dabi's walls and actually get to him. I still think there will be at least a couple of panels / pages where the rest of the fam (particularly Natsu) will interact with Dabi post-rescue (whatever rescue will look like, but presumably not thorugh a glass wall in jail) bc they will need a narrative wrap up too. But I doubt Hori's gonma show the recovery process in as much detail as the battle side of the conflict

[chicchanooliner]

Headcanon time: Mama Yamada

Mama Yamada was a known punk delinquent when she was in school and she would literally kick everyone’s asses and still be #1 student. Rei was a such a sore loser who always got #2 place because of her and was such a weep.

At some point she found out that some one from Rei’s friend group is scamming a student and got angry when she saw it.

So she went and picked up a fight with Rei’s mate, the dude lost obv and started to plan his revenge and somehow catches feelings for her.

Mama Yamada (I call her Doremi as in 一ニ三) just goes about her days, you know fighting, studying and making fun of Rei’s nerdyness and even hanging out with him sometime bc she is bored and also to get blackmail material of weep Rei.

Rei’s mate (the dude) gets angry when he sees Rei catching the attention of Mama yamada and tries to stop them from falling for each other by spreading false rumours about Rei. Doremi just laughs at the rumours because she finds the fact that Rei is getting way too worked out about them funny but still goes to the dude and threaten to cut his tongue if he doesn’t stop.

Rei sees her threatening his (ex) mate and feels his heart skip a beat and begins to avoid Doremi who gets confused and angry at his actions. Eventually Doremi has had enough of him and pushes this 179 cm guy into the wall and Kabedon him with all her 164 cm height and demands an explanation.

Rei gets all shy and stuff and tries to run away from his crush who in the heat of the moment flinged her school bag in his way and hit the back of his head which then caused him to fall down the stairs from the hard impact.

Doremi has the guts to walk on him in an attempt to check if he was ok.

Rei then decides to confess and gets turned down every time for whole 5 years until their high school graduation day where he goes and says that he will follow her to the end of earth if it will make her fall for him and Doremi laughs at him and tells him that his wish came true a long time ago when he was ranting about Dragon Ball and how he wants to create mics that gives everyone super sayan powers.

They get married soon after and have Ichiro three years later, Ichiro is named 一郎 as a joke made by Doremi who says that Rei means 例zero and her name has 一ニ三 so as a joke lets call our son ichi 一 so that we can be Rei, Ichi and Doremi like 0,1,123.

The naming gig sticks long enough for Saburo to be named 三郎 as in 3 and they finally become 0,1,2,3 and 123.

Since we don’t know when the war actually started and when Rei joined the military

I’m just gonna guess sometime after Saburo was born and because of that the Yamada family started to rarely see Rei who is getting more tainted by the horrors he sees and is getting colder to his family and was actually going to walk out on them the next time he visits.

And so the last time he meets them, Doremi is about to tell him they were going to have a baby girl who will be called a name that starts with 四 as in number 4 when some attack happen and Doremi tries to shield her kids in fear with her body while Rei shields Ichiro.

When everything gets calm some peopel barges into their house and starts shooting, Doremi pushes her kids under the table and pulls Ichiro to take cover with his brothers too.

Rei gets his gun out and shields Doremi who is asking for an explanation worriedly, Rei just pushes her behind the sofa and tells her to shut it and how he doesn’t need to explain himself to a woman like her, Doremi gets angry and stands up and a bullet goes through her, killing her instantly.

Ichiro sees this and screams for his mother and gets out of his cover and forgets to not pull his siblings with him, Saburo gets a gash on his right shoulder while Jiro’s on his left.

Rei seems to have stopped working (Rei.exe) and gets his mic and blows everyone away, when he turns to his sons he sees them crying while Ichiro is holding them defensively and is looking angry and hateful at him, Rei laughs at his son and tells him to stop being emotional as this is how life is and how sooner or later she was going to die in a sorry attempt to conceal his mourning and walks out on them.

If you made it this far congratulations, welcome to the hell hole that is called my brain, feel free to add more + this is a part of the rough idea for the Rei fic I’m writing

[novadreii]

my thoughts on castlevania s4 SPOILERS obviously

wow, i was actually impressed with hector for once. he collected the last wit about him to turn his situation around and take his balls out of lenore’s hands back into his pants. i thought he would go sicko mode on her and feared it getting a little revenge misogynistic, but i was pleasantly surprised at how civilized it was between them up until the end.

lenore was a little useless, wasn’t she? i half expected her to go, “you know what? fuck diplomacy” and just go mach 1 on everyone. eh.

isaac, oh. isaac. my favorite secondary character. wanders the desert conquesting, killing and raising the dead which made him realize things. he realized so much he marched right into carmilla’s castle while her beserker and army were away and owned her ass. good for him.

carmilla. oh, carmilla. tied with isaac for my favorite. so determined and single-minded that she sent away all her forces while she schemed in her fortress. she depended too hard on her partners doing all the work for her, and as a result she wasn’t much of a thinker, just a bloody, murdery doer. for example, she didn’t think that there were other formidable forces in the world that may want to impede her whole world domination plan? did she forget about isaac, out in the world rogue forgemastering? that was a threat she should have checked on before going global. she got too greedy, too quickly, and she paid the ultimate price for it. she went out like a fucking boss though, and i was pleased with her arc overall. as far as villains go, her raison d’etre was relatable and hard to argue with. 

the dialogue style is both one of my favorite parts of the show but also at times a pain point for me. when it’s good, it’s relaxed, comfortable and realistic and the characters play off each other really well with it (like quipping back and forth during battle which i normally hate but works well here). when it’s bad, it’s a little cringe. some dialogue scenes went on wayyyyy too long while the characters repeated things they’d literally just said verbatim, which is awkward af in screenwriting. i.e. Isaac telling Hector twice in the space of 30 seconds “Dracula earned his rest.” which is odd because impactful phrases like this usually are not repeated so as not to, yknow, dilute their impact. Also Carmilla waxing spiteful about “evil old men” and repeating some variation of the phrase 15 times in one scene. lastly, the liberal sprinkling of the word “fuck” in every other line is also like, mostly welcome but once or twice just sounded silly given the context of the scene. i’m nitpicking, here.

saint-germain. Idk much about his woman, but she definitely seemed worth slaughtering a village and raising dracula from the dead for. violent and hot as fuck, she never uttered a single word which i want to think is indicative of something but what? did we ever figure out why she kept eluding him via dimension-jumping? imagine she was trying to get away from him all this time lol. yikes.

the smartest people in this whole show are the vampire lesbians who peace tf out immediately when they see their castle is under siege and figure out carmilla is dead. LOL at them assuming useless lenore is dead too (bc, she’s useless) and just leaving her there. they packed their shit up, moved out west, presumably to build a lover’s stronghold where they could just be in vampire love forever. GOOD FOR THEM.

trevor: continued to drunkenly yell Fuck while being masterfully proficient immediately at any weapon he picks up, though eventually always ending up using his fists like the brawler he is.

sypha: if she met the avatar, she'd be like “lmao, you can ‘bend’ the elements, huh? i can use them in ways that would make your skin crawl and your head explode to even think about. sit the fuck down.”

alucard: adorable himbo with a heart of gold, needs a tough as nails gf to jerk him out of his moods and organize his kitchen for him. another round of good for him. i was a little scared they would kill off his gf but that would have been unimaginably cruel considering what he went through in s3. alucard had imo the best/most stylish fight sequences of the season. and they know what we’re about, since he was shirtless or at least in a very deep V cut most of the time. thank you.

i had 2 major predictions for this season going into it: trevor would die (permanently), and sypha would have a kid/get pregnant. i was 75% on the money.

i liked the ending message of why humans win these wars against vampires despite being slow meatbags compared to them. the vampires’ fatal flaw is resistance to change, provoked by their immortality, arrogance, and insatiable desire for power in order to provide themselves long term stability in the world. whereas humanity’s best trait is the polar opposite: adaptability. throughout history, the ability to adapt has been proven to be the determining factor in a species’ survival. vampires, for all their god-like strengths, prove to be no exception to this rule. alucard, with his human heart, is the only one with vampire blood who has proven he can make major changes and overcome personal prejudices to live a better life.

And my final thoughts on the ending are: everyone major got a satisfying end to their arc. BUT. it was just too happy. either trevor should have stayed dead, OR dracula and lisa should have gone back to hell. but not both. having everyone come back to life and go on to skip in fields just seems contrary to the tone and messaging of the whole show, which is pretty high up on the edginess scale.

i love a bittersweet ending in general, so i’m biased. imo, the joy of a mostly good ending is rendered all that much sweeter by reflecting on what was lost to obtain it. imagine:

alternate ending 1: trevor comes back, the gang lives happily ever after at Belmont Village or wtvr they name it, BUT. we see alucard lost in thought thinking about his parents, how he saw a flash of their souls during the penultimate battle. there’s regret there, the regret of shit left unsaid and shitty family dynamics unsolved. we cut immediately back to hell, with lisa and dracula embracing, maybe whispering a few lines of doomed lovers dialogue and something about their son. they’re in hell, but ultimately, they’re together. cut back to alucard, yanked out of his sad thoughts by his pretty gf who won’t let him get too deep in the weeds. shot pans out of them together with the gang. the end.

alternate ending 2: trevor is DEAD dead. sypha stays with alucard and the gang at belmont farms and raises her kid. maybe we get a 2 year timeskip and we see the little shit have some of his dad in him/her. sypha is sad about trevor but doesn’t mope about it. she runs that town like it’s a business. alucard is the best uncle to that kid & the orphans they could ask for. everyone gets trained in ass-kicking next door at the belmont hold. lisa and dracula are miraculously alive through whatever convoluted bs makes it work, and contemplate one day moving back to see their son. dracula has a moment to realize that his family is mostly human, and what he loves in them he can learn to tolerate from all of humanity.

don’t those feel happy but just. TINGED. with just enough sadness to be more memorable? idk i may just be a masochist.

i haven’t mentioned the technical aspects such as animation and direction because they were amazing. really, really incredible animation that is going to be hard to follow up (and netflix is going to make copycats of this formula, you bet your ass they will). where cgi was used, it was excellent and barely detectable, really well integrated with 2d. so engaging to watch.

overall: 9/10

[cherryblossomshadow]

Wonder Woman 1984 review

Long, rambly, and spoilery. You’ve been warned. 

I saw WW84. I had thoughts. Let's talk about it. 

I want to preface with the fact that it's amazing that we have another female-led superhero film! I loved Patti Jenkins' work with the first Wonder Woman (and this one too) and I'm so glad she's back for this one. There's obviously a lot to pick through, but first, a couple reminders.

No film will ever be "perfect."

Not every film is made specifically for you. 

It is okay to vibe or disvibe with something. But that does not make it trash. 

Also, please, keep in mind, what I'm expressing are my opinions. I'm entitled to mine as you are entitled to yours. I hope you have a lovely time on the internet, and I hope you wish the same for everyone you interact with. 

Oh, and spoilers obviously. 

Okay, with all that out of the way, let's dig in. 

My overall experience with the film is positive! I had a great time watching it, it got me emotional, and I definitely want to watch it again. That said, I don't think it's better than the first one (although that would have been quite a feat), and that's ok. It's a continuation of a story we've already started, and it doesn't need to outshine the first. 

Okay, after all the hyping up and disclaiming I've done, let's dig into what I didn't like about the film. 

Number one is pacing. The storyline felt very erratic to me? Part of that, I feel, is because we have three (four?) main characters, and we jump between them pretty abruptly. 

Number two is the themes. Now I do like the themes of WW84 (truth and sacrifice), I just don't think they were worked into the film as cohesively as I would have liked? 

Number three is perceived character changes to Diana. And really, some of this is kinda circumstantial, I just thought it deserved its own bullet point. You'll see what I mean. 

So, on Pacing.

We jump between Diana (and Steve), Barbara, and Maxwell pretty frequently. And before I talk about that, I have to talk about my view on the characters. 

a. Now, I love the Mandalorian, but I was not personally invested in Maxwell's arc at all. Again, this is my take, and I know people disagree. Many people feel like Pedro Pascal carried the film on his shoulders. That's cool. He's a great actor. I'm glad he was in it. I just kinda checked out of every scene he was in (when he wasn't with his kid) because I wasn't invested in him. He played a sleazeball on purpose, and it worked. I was sleazed. So the movie kinda dragged for me whenever the camera panned to him. 

b. I loved the focus on Barbara. I don't know Cheetah from the comics, so this is from a movie-only perspective. But I know one of the criticisms of the first film was that Diana didn't really talk to women after she left Themyscira (even though there was a perfectly good villainess sitting right there for her to converse with and have morality debates/fights with! Even Steve Trevor got to talk to Dr Poison!), so I thought it was great that 1) they set up a villainess for her to fight and 2) it was a villainess that she knew, she had talked to, she had formed a relationship with. It honestly surprised me that Barbara was helpful for so long (bc I had seen the trailer and got spoiled that she would become a villain), but I love that she genuinely did want to help Diana, up until she hit her hard limit (giving up her powers). Now, that being said, the Nerd Girl Makeover has been done a thousand times. I knew what her vague trajectory would be from the second she appeared on screen with frizzy hair. I did like that her motivation was not solely "pretty people are mean to me, and I want revenge and/or for this hot guy to like me," but specifically, "I want to be like this really cool girl" and then "I don’t want to be like anyone else; I want to be the best/number one" for myself." But I felt like the absolute inattention that she was shown at the beginning and the absolute worship Diana and later Barbara would get was ... highly exaggerated? And I know this was another criticism of the first film, that yeah "Diana did so well in the real world because SHE'S HOT and that's actually not empowering to women" or something. But like. Watching that part made me uncomfortable instead of seen. Pandered to, instead of impacted. Showing how looks change how society treats you is important, but not to this caricaturized degree. 

c. (and d?) And lastly, Diana and Steve. Or more accurately, Diana and Steve's soul or memories or ??? that has been transplanted into some random man's body with absolutely no one's consent (I don't believe that Diana "consented" when making the wish, because she didn't know 1. That it would even work or 2. HOW it would work.). So ... Yeah. The first problem with this (chronologically, not by importance) is that it's really unclear what's going on? Some rando is reciting Steve's lines from the first film, then all of a sudden he turns into Chris Pine? (Fun fact: my aunt actually recognized the actor from Hallmark 😂 Could you imagine being the guy who gets replaced by Chris Pine for half the movie? Like "yeah, I played Steve Trevor, but they had Chris Pine do all the important parts" 😂😂😂). So, Diana and Steve finally figure out that he's inhabiting some engineer's body because of the wish she made. And then they bang. Or do they bang before they figure it out? Either way, yikes 😬. Not a good look. 

To be clear, the yikes part is that Steve is inhabiting Engineer Dude's body without their consent (without his own either tho so that part's not really his fault), but then he chooses to do things sexually with that body that Engineer Dude didn't consent to (because he's like, literally not home. Whether he's been subsumed into Chris Pine or taken out or dormant or whatever). Oh, and then like, probably doing death-defying stunts with his body is also yikes. I'm not really sure what the rules around body possession are. Cuz you know. 

Anyway, that is a huge issue that is literally not addressed. At all. 

Again, I think they may have been trying to address some criticisms from the first film about Diana "getting rid of the dreaded V-card so quickly in Wonder Woman and then pining after Chris Pine (lol) for the rest of her long life" and how that sets back female sexuality and stuff. Which I get. They actually lampshaded it in WW84, how Chris Pine wants her to move on because "the world deserves her." Which I know what they were going for in the scene, but I feel like they didn't flesh out the journey from Hippolyta's "the world doesn't deserve you Diana" to Steve's "the world deserves you (to date them)" enough. But I digress. 

I'm gonna talk a little bit more about the possession and that "the world deserves/doesn't deserve you" line in my Themes section, but honestly? From the previews, I assumed that Chris Pine was revived from the dead via time travel or something. Body possession was NOT in the the trailers. I think the Dreamstone could have created a body for him out of nothing. Or like "time-traveled" him into the future. So like. Why didn't they? Why introduce body possession at all? So they could make fun of the dude's clothes? 

Okay, back to the pacing part of the pacing section. These three (four?) characters have completely different things going on in their lives (I actually forgot to talk about Maxwell, but he wants to "be the best," and he's gonna do it by giving people what they think they want (maybe) and then taking from them whatever he wants. Yeah idk). And all three do interact at the beginning (brownie points) even if the attempted seduction of Barbara by Maxwell makes me want to throw up. But the themes aren't worked in as cohesively as I would have liked, and the tone changes were jarring, as the film switched between them all. 

Another facet of the movie is that the Dreamstone is kind of a mystery. And that was a deliberate Choice™, not a mistake. We're guessing at what the rock is doing and how and why and by who and all that stuff, and that's on purpose, but that makes for a confusing experience. Their approach is to throw something confusing at you and then explain it later. Which is great for worldbuilding. But not always for the Movie-Watching Experience™. So to recap, we're switching tracks and characters with their own separate stories while also setting up several confusing plot points that take a while to unravel. This all contributes to the Experience™, good or bad. 

Honestly, I wonder how much Covid affected this movie? My dad felt like a lot of scenes probably got cut for various reasons, and it probably affected the flow of the movie. If so, it could have affected thematic coherence, too. Speaking of... 

So, Themes. 

The themes that I got out of this film were Truth and Sacrifice. Maybe I missed some; I'm not an experienced Media Critic™. But these are the ones I noticed. 

And actually, these themes are really strong. Universally applicable, and used in all three character arcs. It's just tied in a bit ... erratically?

So working backward, knowing that the Dreamstone is giving you a lie, you need to renounce your wish and accept the Truth™. This is echoed in Diana's flashback, where she needed to accept that she didn't win. 

Working backward again, Sacrifice was a big part of the story for all three characters because Diana was willing to sacrifice her power to keep Steve, but he wanted her to sacrifice him so she could save the world. Barbara was willing to sacrifice her "humanity" or "empathy" or whatever she lost for the power and influence she got by emulating Diana, and she was unwilling to sacrifice that to save the world. Maxwell was willing to sacrifice time with his son to "become the best," but he did sacrifice that to save his son's life. 

And then, full circle, he confessed to his son that he wasn't the best, he's actually a filthy liar. Which, yes, kudos for the themes, be honest with your children, but you can still sanitize it a bit. That speech alone would have traumatized the kid. 

Speaking of speeches, Antiope's speech confused me in a similar way? Like, she stops Diana from "winning" the tournament after cheating, and goes on this weird rambly rant which goes from "accept that you're not a winner" to "cheating is bad and so is lying." Which yes, cheating is bad, but it's weird that she wouldn't have been disqualified at this point for not shooting that last target? Like, did she need to be tackled? Idk, I felt like they came up with the line they wanted Antiope to say first, and then just made her say it. (And also, in other stories, Diana would have been praised for being "clever" and "never giving up without a fight." So like, I needed a bit more preparation for which take they were going for, because the anti-cheating spiel felt jarring to me.) 

And again, I wonder if this is a response to a criticism of this first film. (Warning: WW17 rant gearing up) 

When Diana has her big motivational flashback during her fight with Ares, she thinks about Steve, this dude she just met a week ago, saying he loved her. When she could have been thinking about literally any of the women who had raised her. I personally think it would have been cool to hear some of Antiope's words at that point. Since they set up Hippolyta and Antiope to have conflicting ideas over whether Diana should fulfill her humanity-saving destiny, it might have been cool to see her saying something about humans and how they need her or how she should help them or something. They could even have done the whole thing with not being able to hear Steve's last words, but with Antiope since she dies earlier in the film and doesn't finish speaking. I also think it would have been cool for them to expand Hippolyta's earlier line about "They don't deserve you, Diana," here to like "They need you, Diana," or something. And then Steve's line in WW84 could have been something like "They're with you, Diana," or "They could get to know you, Diana," and her character arc could have been about actually living among society and maybe getting to know these humans that she's saved so many times (which they kind of alluded to when she and Barbara had their little date at the beginning of the film). But I digress. 

So, yeah, I found both of these speeches to be ... Not great? Like I can tell what they're going for and how they tie into the themes, but they're so heavy-handed and they don't actually fit in too well to the moment they happen in. Like as soon as the speech starts, you realize that they started going meta on you. The character isn't really speaking to the other character, they're speaking to us, and they're telling us how this scene ties into the greater themes of the film. 

Oh and they have this great quote from Antiope "greatness is not what you think" and then Maxwell's son wishes for him to be "great." And they do nothing with it :(

As promised, I want to talk about the body possession a little bit more. So again, one of the recurring themes is Truth™. Which is a great choice for Wonder Woman, what with her Lasso of Truth. 

But it's tied in a bit haphazardly. They force it into a conversation about cheating in a flashback at the beginning of the film. And then they talk about how you need to accept the Truth™ in order to defeat the Dreamstone. I already talked about the cheating, and how the "accept that you're not a winner" was kind of a weird path to take to get your point across to a ten year old girl. 

But the Dreamstone. Oh, the Dreamstone. I said before that the movie is a mystery. It shows you things but doesn't explain them. Well, this is a bit of a problem. Because they never actually explain that the Dreamstone is giving you lies. To my eyes, the Dreamstone is changing reality. Steve is back, Barbara is powerful, and Maxwell is doing whatever he wants with the powers of the Dreamstone. THIS DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A LIE TO ME. THERE IS NO "TRUTH" TO ACCEPT, JUST YOUR NEW REALITY. And that made the film less thematically strong (to my eyes, anyway. Other people probably picked up on stuff I didn't). But I feel like this might have been an easy fix? Like you already have Chris Pine in someone else's body (oh! So that's why they chose body possession! Because he's a Lie™! ... Still don't like it) I still think he should have manifested his own body or something but whatever. Barbara's appearance hardly changed at first. If they had people reacting to her as if she was hot when she really looked the same as she always does, then I would have bought your "but the Dreamstone only gives you lies." Instead, Barbara gained the power to walk in heels and then hotness and then the literal power of a God™ (a la Diana) which makes me think the Dreamstone is changing reality. Not bringing lies. 

Oh, also, they could have had Diana's Lasso of Truth stop working for her. I thought that's what they were going for at first, but it turns out that Diana is just losing her powers. They also started with "the Dreamstone will give you what you want most," but then Maxwell started using it to clear traffic? Which by the way, is NOT an illusion. That is reality-bending. 

There were just so many ways to make it obvious that "the Dreamstone is giving you lies," but they didn't use them. Or at the very least, they didn't commit. I felt like they used a little bit of "be careful what you wish for" (mostly on randos that Maxwell is duping), a little bit of "what are you willing to sacrifice," and a little of "you can have what you want, but it won't be real." All of which are valid ways to take a Dreamstone kind of story, but if they wanted to rely so heavily on Truth™ as the main theme, then I feel like more of the wishes should have been showcasing that. Instead, it felt like a jumble of all the kinds of messages we're used to seeing with Wish-Granting Objects, with no emphasis on specifically the "it's all a lie" part. 

Ugh, I'm actually mad now, because I'm trying to think of a story I've heard where this magical thing is granting wishes but they're Explicitly Not Real. Like all the money gets turned back to leaves or whatever (kinda like Cinderella's pumpkin lol). Oh, Aladdin does this, too, because yeah Genie is granting wishes and changing reality, but not permanently? Like, almost all of the stuff he uses magic to do dissolves as soon as we're looking away from it or gets fixed by the end of the movie? And the film is very very clear on the fact that Aladdin is not factually a Prince. 

But this film doesn't do that. They make it seem like the Dreamstone can change reality, then berate the characters for not Accepting the Truth™ about themselves. Maybe if they had made a bigger deal out of Steve coming back in someone else's body, it would have been 1) less confusing, 2) less icky (provided they don't do the sex in Engineer Dude's body), and 3) more thematically coherent. 

Lastly, Diana's perceived character changes. 

This one is probably the most subjective. Diana, as a character, in the first film was very morally grounded and motivated. The Diana in this film felt ... different. Again. Subjective. And also circumstantial. 

Diana is still morally grounded in this film. But she's also willing to sacrifice the world to keep Steve Trevor around. Which feels like a jarring change from her characterization in the first film. She was so idealistic and optimistic in that first film, I couldn't imagine her making that choice. It just felt like such a tone change for her character. How did we go from "Who will I be if I stay?" to "Why, for once, can't I just have this one thing, Steve? ... I can't give you up. I can't. So I won't."

Also, her motivation in this film seemed to center around her loss of Steve Trevor and wanting him, and less around "save the world." Which, to be fair, I'm all for women being selfish in film. Give me women of all motivations and desires. I don't want Diana to be Perfect™. I just want her to be consistent. And I didn't think this characterization was as consistent as I expected. Was her life so terrible without Steve (even though they only knew each other for a short time)? Not to say this couldn't be a valid take on Diana (reminder: I haven't read any comics, so maybe it's not in character at all 🤷‍♀️), but if that's what they were going for, they should have developed the journey from naive idealist to jaded romantic more in order to justify this character change. 

Also, the body possession thing. She's really okay with her boyfriend possessing somebody else's body. I did like the "All I See Is You" line, since it's romantic, but up until that point, we as viewers aren't really sure why Chris Pine and Hallmark Dude are both playing this guy. Then we find out in a romantic line that Chris Pine is just Wonder Woman's view of him. He still looks like Engineer Dude because he is Engineer Dude. At first, I thought that they used a different guy for the first meeting because Diana didn't recognize him. That this was her perception of him until she realized who it was. (I thought this was supported by Chris Pine's more rugged look in this film. But actually they were probably matching him to the body he was inhabiting, since the character really didn't look like himself). Leverage does a similar thing in the Rashomon Job. All the characters saw each other at the same event, but they didn't know each other back then, so they had different actors play their parts until it's slowly revealed that actually the random people at the event were the characters we know and love. It's great. Anyway, that's not what they're going for here, and the ambiguous framing along with Diana and Steve's chemistry is supposed to make you forget that he is possessing someone else’s body! Against their will! (Again, Steve and Diana didn't consent to the initial possession either, but they absolutely consented to what they did together. Engineer Dude did not.) 

Yikes  😬

I will say, she didn't kill innocents this time. One of my critiques of the first movie was that she was so willing to kill Germans. And I get it, Nazis are usually an "acceptable" target in American media. But as a character, she believed that they were innocents who had been manipulated by Ares. And yet, she was slaughtering them en masse. But, in this movie, they're really careful to make sure that she's nonlethal. 

And yeah, that's it.

Asteria was of course awesome. That bonus credit scene was 👌

I'm glad they got Linda Hemming back for costuming after the disaster of Justice League. Unfortunately, being set in the 80's, the outfits are not quite so modest as the first movie. But the important thing was the lack of male gaze in those shots.

The movie definitely hit me in my emotions. I cried three times: first during the tournament, watching the Amazon's being awesome. Then during Diana and Steve's fight, and when Steve convinced Diana to let him go. 😭

As I said, I definitely plan on rewatching. It makes me sad to see how much negative press that the movie is getting when it's one of so few female-led blockbusters. A lot of people are comparing it to the original or to the comics or TV show, when those are just not valuable comparisons. Comic books and TV shows are completely different mediums. And a successful sequel CONTINUES a story, instead of rehashing it. And also, not all films are created specifically for YOU. A lot of the 80's references went over my head, but that's ok. They weren't for me. I don't begrudge their existence just because I don't vibe with them. 

Again, no film is perfect! I think I talked through a lot of its weaknesses pretty thoroughly, but I still think it's a strong film, and I want it to succeed. 

Anyhoo, I hope you had fun watching the movie (even though it's not perfect) and I hope you had fun reading my commentary. 

(Fun fact: I actually ran out of space in my notes app and had to stretch it across two notes)

[incubae-fics]

Seduce Me AU! Diana And Malix

My previous HC post only mentioned the boys and how they are etc. This one will go into how Malix and Diana come to play as well as their intentions and reasonings. Their intent towards the player will differ depending upon who they are falling in love with, at least mostly in Malix’s case. Diana will have the same intent, which is to get the boys back, but she goes about it differently. I gave her a bit of a bigger role for more impact, that way her switch up in SM2 has a bit more meaning. I like her in canon but only in SM2. Her absolute power in the first game irked me, but however I do understand she’s a demon and therefore not so easy to touch, yknow?

I’d also like to add that I’d somewhat change how the Mansion is obtained by the player and the boys. The sad death is the same, however the boys are hit harder by it. As the Grandfather was the only one to treat them with genuine care and got to know them in their short chats as well as with traveling with them. I’d want to have it where the player never got to know him well due to distance or his own busy schedule, but that love was there. It saddens the player but not as painfully as the boys. The house is left to the player in the will, as the Grandfather had some sense it’d help them all someday. 

Something in him wanted them all to meet, and he even told them of you and that if you ever lived here that he hoped they’d protect you, but he just never got to see it himself. Having it set this way makes more sense for the boys.. Irritation towards the player. It’s a shitty reason of course, but it is a reason. One that could be rational to grieving people. Like.. why are you here?? You didn’t know him like they did?? You only knew him through short talks, how dare you move in here.. (there would be an option to not do so, but then nothing would come of it. There would be an option to try to sell, but since James comes into the company bc the Grandfather left it for him and not his greedy son, he’ll lawyer up somehow to fight it. He wants the home to stay as is.)

Anyways, leggooo..

Malix;;

Malix isn’t after the boys for any type of turf reasons. He’s after them solely for rep. Word spread around that the Demon Lords ‘precious’ sons have left the Demon World. One of them being the son that carried most of his brute genes. Said son is Sam, the meanest brute the Demon World has ever known. More than anything, he wants his head, wants the reputation of being the devil that slayed the Demon Lords brutal son. Of course, others want such a rep, some want revenge, but none are quite crazy enough to do so. That said, unless Sam is players love interest, they are mostly safe from him. Mostly.

If you develop some sort of budding relationship with Sam (bc by the time he finds them, that's where the relationships would be at, just budding), you become easy bait.

At the time, the guys have their guards down. Simply bc instead of crashing into the home, it was given to them, along with the player.

The player is the sole head of house, and so as long as they didn’t try to sell the mansion, they are generally in good standing with them all.

Malix will make his presence known by busting into the home, like in canon but not after a forced party. (I’m not putting in any type of father issues in here for the player bc everyone has different father/mother relationships etc. Keeping it open.)

He just shows up and attempts something, but they laugh it off and wipe the floor with him. They think of him as no threat.

Despite having been abused and being separated, they still knew how to defend themselves. Living in a world like that makes it a requirement should you choose to want to live.

Damien was taught by Sam, simply bc he’d started getting locked up more often and had to teach him so he’d survive until he was freed or escaped.

So Malix is written off as nothing, which royally pisses him off.

If the player helps or says something to add fuel to it, they become a target, an even bigger one if he notices Sam protecting them.

If player is protected by another, or just all, then they’re just a target. He’ll try to jump them somewhere only to be interrupted due to someone else being nearby. Then their guards go up.

After that, the boys take precautions and go out of their way to get rid of him.

If the player has something with Sam, they are kidnapped. They got knocked the hell out and taken away.

His mistake is not tying them up, player gets the choice to bust his face in some since his powers don’t work on them if they have enough energy.

However they grow tired and must call for Sam.

Once summoned, he pauses, then looks to player and says “Look away and cover your ears.”

Sam then goes absolutely apeshit, the rage in the air is suffocating. He brutally beats Malix out of anger.

Both at himself and Malix.

Himself for letting you be harmed and not paying more attention to Malix when he could.

Malix because he had the audacity to touch you.

Rip Malix but not really, we mostly hate you dude. See you in SM2 only to die again.

Sam, once finished, is a little angry at you. 

Why didn’t you call sooner? Why would you attempt to fight him?? You almost DIED! Do you know what he’d do if he lost you?!

Sam ends up holding you for the first time and for a long time. Just a big squeezing hug with murmured apologies for getting devil blood on your shirt.

He ends up hovering for a bit.

As for the others? They do too.

However if you’re not kidnapped, they just keep an eye on you and let you know once he’s no longer a threat.

They won’t tell you, but they have killed him

A lowly devil would never be a true threat to them or anyone they cared for.

Sorry not sorry Malix.

Diana;;

Diana’s story remains mostly the same. There is option to romance her, but I never did it and so I’m not throwing it into my au bc I never took her route. I also never let her have the boys lmao fuck you bruh. The changes are that she was in a neighboring kingdom. She visited often bc she was promised to James to unite their kingdoms. Also for protection. Her kingdom at the time could not fight the DL and so, a deal had to be made. Diana had no qualms simply bc she was sure it was expected of her and truth be told, she liked something in James. Maybe it was the everstaying look of calm on his face, despite the horrific abuse, maybe it was the well of emotions in his golden eyes. She was young and she’s not sure why. They only ever had short convos. Always her leading them with happy ideas for their marriage in the future. 

A marriage not wanted on James end but he never said so. He was already dealing with much bigger monsters at the time the deal was spoken of. She was a secret witness to their abuse, and although it.. Hurt her in a way, she was sure the marriage would save them all. James would be king and could change everything. She wasn’t fully aware that James was just a puppet for the Demon Lord and that the others were fated to early deaths at his hand. The marriage was mere months away- and then suddenly her world was falling apart. The boys were gone, her family was being threatened by the DL’s irrationally blinding rage. She had to get them back or lose her family.

This makes her very desperate. She tracks them, forces her way into the human world, killing a human in the process. She’s never even killed a demon, which under certain circumstances in their world is allowed. A human? The Angels would have her head if she was found out so she hides for some time.

When she does come back, she goes for James first. She needs answers. She needs reasons.(However this occurs months after Malix. Putting them too close together would make it harder for her to slip in. They’d be on their guard.)

She gets nothing. She gets cold indifference. Her family is at stake! Her life! Doesn’t he care?

“No. You didn’t care about us.You wanted a crown and a throne and nothing more. I am not yours to have.”

It’s true. She knows it’s true, she’s been selfish- but something inside her tells her she doesn’t care. Some other force compels her to rage about it, to get nasty about it.

So she does, she leaves to dig up dirt or to try to seduce one of the others into following her.

She digs up dirt if she notices the player around James. Some irrational jealousy stirs up. She hates it. 

What is she jealous of? She has someone back home who would do anything for her, why bother?

She doesn’t know but it fuels her to dig into James. To get a reaction- to break his hopes and dreams of this world. To break him.

“Demons don’t love. You won’t be loved, Rae-”

“Do NOT call me that. You have not right to be so familiar- you’re not my family and I hardly ever spoke to you.”

“You will never belong here- you will never be forgiven for that hurt you’ve caused. Rae-”

And that's when James grabs her by her neck, “I will never go with you, you absolute lowlife. You beg and plead and expect me to answer. Where were you when we were begging and pleading, huh?! WHERE WERE YOU?! Playing pretend in your own dreamland! Get out of my home NOW!”

And that’s the last he sees of her. However her words still hit hard. James backs away from the player for sometime. 

It only puts a dent in the relationship if the player does not respect his subtle but easily understood hints for space.

Diana is only really meant to the player if they show an interest in James. She’ll guilt trip harder and threatens death until she is found out by James himself or someone else.

James/ the others get rid of her. However it’s hard due to her escaping and gaining more energy to return. She’s around for a few weeks at the least.

Now if the player is interested in someone else, she just guilt trips them and pleads for help. Think of her family and her life.

She preys on how little the player knows of the boys suffering. She’s aware how wrong that is.

However at this point, player knows enough to not feel bad. They can choose to help her, but it permanently damages any budding relationship with any of them.

Why?

Because you’re basically saying you do not want any of them. You’d rather they go with her and be put back into that dark place, all because of misplaced guilt for a succubus you barely know.

Damien is the most hurt because he becomes friends with the player first. This hurt is worse if he has feelings for the player.

Now of course, feeling bad for her situation is normal. However Diana chooses the wrong solution.

She’d get better results if she asked them to help her kill the DL and take over. She has no army to do so though and something compels her to not think of it anyway.

If her guilt trip fails, she gets angry and then pursues the other boys a second time. Digging her venomous words where she can, putting a halt in any budding relationships for a short time.

She messes with their heads and they do retaliate. Only James, Sam, and Erik get physical though, because she hits their deepest insecurities right on the head.

Matthew and Damien simply fight with their own words, gaining her rage and angry leave.

She does leave eventually, and does take the players energy, just not through a kiss. Her kiss made me uncomfortable (and not bc shes not a cute guy)

With Sam, player was able to hit his stupid ass

Erik was demonstrating in canon, but in AU he doesn’t bc nah bro (and ngl I’d have fucking decked him too)

Diana aims to take all their energy. Not enough to help. Not to demonstrate.She just takes all to escape. So in AU I’d rather she takes it through some other power.

Manages to steal into some object for later use, and the boys find them passed out on the floor later on.

Diana isn’t seen until much later, vastly different vibes coming off of her.

She is as she should have been. The power compelling her has somehow lost its hold..

So that’s Malix and Diana. You’re litty if you read this far. I have more HC’s on the boys and their demon forms etc, but for now I wanted this done. I don’t have anything on Naomi or Suzu or anything. They are nice in canon and I have nothing against them, I just don’t see what to do with them in AU.They could just be people the player met and became friends with or smth. Not sure, but yeah. I might fic some stuff later so be on the look out <3

[lesbianmarth]

it’s been a while since i posted about aa but i just finished soj in its entirety tonight. here’s my new list so far

i still have to give thoughts on cases 4 5 and dlc so that’ll be under a cut. spoilers!

6-4: this was such a filler case, almost shamefully so. i don’t know why they thought they could manage to do this in the 4th case when every game with 5 cases has been pretty consistent about making the 4th case plot relevant, sometimes literally just a preamble to case 5. so yeah i think this one was kinda ass

the two things it had going for it: one, athena. in 6-2 i actually got confused about why i ever liked her, because in that case she felt like she was just acting the part of the Peppy Teen Girl With a Rowdy Streak that makes up almost every assistant character. But then as SOON as she started bantering with Simon in 6-4 i was like “oh, THAT’S why i liked her!” was nice to take control of her again.

two, uendo toneido. while i don’t think you can say the DID was portrayed with quite the necessary respect or kindness, it was handled better than i’ve seen other media handle it-- at least it’s not completely demonized. other people have written more on that in better detail so i’m not really the judge, but the basic point is that this witness was mad fun to read, and even the dumb jokes like the changing number of floor cushions were entertaining. thus why this case is in the “hard carried by one side character” tier.

especially since there was like nothing else going on. no connection to the main plot, only two other characters besides uendo, and for some reason the clown tits girl was here instead of the magic show case (and to be honest, she wasn’t enjoyable for me even BEFORE she did the standard aa female villain thing and changed her speech pattern as soon as she fell under suspicion). just a weird, nothing case stuck right around the point aa games usually enter endgame. And especially weird because...

6-5 part 1: inexplicably there are two separate cases in the final chapter and each gets one day of investigation and trial. such a weird setup, and it really shouldn’t work... but i think it kinda barely does. barely. it would still have been better to split it into case 4 and case 5 though.

i have a hard time articulating much on the first case bc it sort of blends together for me. the main thing is that the concept of it being a civil case where apollo and phoenix face off is really good. it was a good change of pace, even though you knew it was gonna be a murder somehow anyway. sarge was reasonably nice, i guess, paul atishon had some good animations and quirks (my favorite being when he tries to just walk away from the stand to avoid answering a question), and the logic of the actual murder was good enough.

but i especially got those strong “oh this is a FINAL case!” vibes during the segment in the cave, and that added so much to it even if not much of it was relevant in the first half of the case. the adventure feel reminded me of some of the (out of context bc i still havent played it) scenes i know from 3-5, which is a good association to invoke imo. and it did a lot to give apollo and dhurke time to bond.

speaking of which, dhurke, holy shit. what a KING. i don’t think i’ve ever liked a dad character in ace attorney this much. he’s so genuine and like down to earth that it’s impossible not to start liking him and believe how much he cares for his sons. the bit where he rescued apollo from the cave flood... i felt it in my heart

6-5 part 2: let me just get this out of the way: ga’ran sucks. her design after she goes full evil is so bad, she’s so malicious that it’s immediately obvious she’s going to be the culprit, her breakdown is ridiculous and just embarrassing to watch, and inga had already established way more charisma as a villain when he did the “those were orders of execution actually” bit in 6-3. with that said,

i actually liked it for the most part. the spirit channeling stuff was excellent imo-- they probably use it to similar or greater effect in 3-5 but as someone who again has not played that, i was surprised and almost impressed by how well it was applied. maya was relevant for something! it feels like it’s been ages!

rayfa was a little underutilized, i think-- her moment of determination where she stops letting ga’ran have control over her was alright but it fell flat bc it didn’t have any weight during the moment. i kept hoping she would like, wordlessly take of her shawl and do the little verbal preamble to the divination seance while ga’ran kept yelling at her to stop, but no, the script can’t be good like that, i guess. and since she didn’t get to be the investigation assistant for long, none of her charm in that role carried through.

but DHURKE!! oh my god! in a game almost devoid of emotional impact, his involvement in this case really hit. the way they painstakingly animated his death, the scene where he makes a promise with maya, and then the weight of knowing in hindsight that everything he did in the first part of the case was after he’d already died and just wanted to see his son again before passing on for real....... it hurt. i felt something during that section. this case would also be hard carried by him if not for the fact that i really liked the murder bits.

amara was good too--liked how they made her suspiciously serene and accentuated it with the lightning strikes to make her look like a hidden murderer character about to reveal herself, only to walk it back and confirm she was being forced to act that way. i thought it worked. nahyuta was boring though, i’m sorry-- i get the motivation with having to be a bastard bc his sister and mom were basically held hostage, but the only time i found him compelling in that mess was the bit where he removed his one fingerless glove and revealed he still has the dragon tattoo. that was it. athena was also completely unused the whole case (not even a single mood matrix? really?) and trucy one again went without any role of importance.

the ending also... yknow, a friend said they had to end it this way bc they never figured out what they were going to do with apollo (since following up on what they started in aa4 clearly wasn’t an option???) and just threw him on a bus to get rid of him. i agree with that-- he really feels thrown to the side, and with that i think trucy’s officially stranded with no hope of any character advancement. and the way they ended the game with phoenix and lamiroir deciding “yeah, maybe NOW we should finally tell those two they’re related” honestly felt insulting lol

but maybe the dlc case will let things go out on a high note...?!

6-6: it was okay.

it would’ve worked pretty well as a filler case in an older aa-- honestly i think it’d be one of the better filler cases, certainly worth replacing the shitty ones like 2-3 or 3-3 or, hey, 6-4. but whether i’d say it was worth paying for... eh.

the time travel conceit was done well enough, i think. the way they tied it back to sorin and pierce’s backstories was nice, and the twist about having two receptions was good, although they needed to treat that as a real twist with much more gravity. when the truth comes out it just feels like “oh of course that’s what happened” rather than a big surprise worthy of the Confessing the Truth theme. it’s sort of important because the case becomes a lot less interesting when you take out the time travel element.

far as characters are concerned, i think they needed more side characters to sell the whole thing-- another sprocket family member or another servant of the household. it felt a little limited-- sorin and pierce are pretty good witnesses and i like their quirks and their secrets, but the only alive woman (ellen) has very few traits and no connection to the deeper story of the case, so she falls really flat. the old aa characters didn’t add much- maya and edgeworth were just there for fanservice, ema didn’t get to do much other than acknowledge for the first time in years that she’s a big edgeworth fan, and larry is annoying as hell like he always is.

and oh my god i actually forgot while i was writing that, how they put in athena and trucy but only used them for brief slapstick where trucy would try to set athena on fire and shit. again-- no mood matrix? couldn’t even try once to fit those two characters into something?

i did like pierce’s transformation into his surgeon form though-- that was really cool. loved him doing surgery on a robot, taking xrays of the lawyers, and his breakdown was fantastic-- he would make a really good culprit if they didn’t whiff the last bit of pathos at the end. i don’t think he should’ve been aiming for revenge on sorin; it would have hurt much more if he was still loyal to the guy and never intended for him to be in danger, but the final “why’d you do it?” talk in the trial just felt flat and one-note, much like the one in 6-4.

... so that’s spirit of justice! not a super positive experience but i’m happy to say it’s done. as much as i want to go and replay dgs, i think when i do go back to ace attorney i’ll be replaying the trilogy for the first time since high school

[imbruedinfear-a]

@undeadrphub​ asked: ALL OF THEM FOR JAY

🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them? 

this man would kill to be taller in .0002 seconds if he could. he was bullied for his height, bullied for being severely underweight, bullied for feminine hips, for.. literally anything. he hates it all. as an adult, he’s managed to pull himself out of the underweight category, but it’s solely from muscle. he’s still incredibly thin and small, just as he’s always been. you can’t get him to be comfortable without an oversized hoodie to hide in. he vaguely cares about being attractive, but it’s more ‘i don’t want them to be embarrassed to be hanging out with someone as fucking ugly as i am’ than anything else. if he’s not working or going out with people, he won’t even think of trying to improve appearance.

🍅  :    how does my muse feel about plastic  /  cosmetic surgeries   &   procedures?  is it something they have done or would do?  do they mind if others do it? 

dislike. who the fuck cares about their appearance that much? granted, he’s had a nose job, but it was so he could still fucking breathe rather than cosmetics. he won’t dislike you as a person for it, but he’s going to instantly find you unappealing. it just bothers him for some reason.

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?

stability whomst? he has two modes of health: sick once a year or sick every other week. it depends on how much food he’s been eating and whether or not he’s blown food money on beer. fuck doctors. his overall health is fucked. doctors cannot explain why he doesn’t have x problems and how he’s even still alive after all of the beatings he’s had, especially when it comes to the brain damage. he has seizures, sometimes an arm will stop working for a bit, sometimes he can’t hold anything, sometimes he’ll have a burst of amnesia. he’s a medical mystery to the point there are literal scientific articles on his case, and 98% of the time if he lands in the hospital for something they’ll just shrug it off. it’s gotten to the point he’ll break bones and still not go, because he learned how to fix that fucking problem himself when he was like 12.

🍎  :    how stable is my muse’s mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy? 

:^) he’s gotten away with murder ( though it was self-defense ) through the insanity claim, which is actually really fucking hard to use. that should give you an idea of his scores on mental exams. but again, he has brain damage, and every single psych he’s ever interacted with has mentioned that they can no longer determine what’s an actual mental illness or what’s just his brain being physically unable to function correctly. he’s never been to therapy, but he’s been tested several times. his scores changed every time, for every section. the only thing anyone’s certain on is PTSD. Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, and Schizophrenia have been heavily considered, but even professionals argue with each other. he’s a medical mystery even in mental health. he needs therapy, but his disorders make him extremely avoidant of it. that is not to say everything i listed is true, nor is it to say there isn’t anything unlisted here.

🍑  :    how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance?  do they spend a lot of time on their hair,  makeup,  grooming,  and clothing?  is there a particular reason why they do or don’t?  

oof. how anxious is he? if he’s anxious, he’ll fix himself 1000x times. if he’s not doing anything special, he’ll walk out the door without a second thought. he doesn’t spend a lot of time on anything, but he does make sure he’s well groomed and put together. it should be noted, though, he doesn’t look in the mirror. his own apartment doesn’t have one, and he avoids public restrooms like the plague. his own reflection is a fucking trigger. this is probably why his eyeliner is always smudged.

🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  

confusing as fuck. he’s lonely as hell and constantly wants to hangout with people, but he also will have periods of avoiding them like the fucking plague. he loves hanging out! he fucking hates being out! who knows! for the most part, he has a lot of friends in a lot of places and will gladly drink with any group of strangers, but he’ll yeet the fuck out if you try actually getting close to him. he’s alone, always, at home and only around people when working or getting fucked up. having other people around too often, like a roommate perhaps, will make his mental health act the fuck up.

🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to mature,  and why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood? 

in his words, it was a great big pile of horseshit on fire. he literally has brain damage from it. he can’t leave his own room without convincing himself it’s going to be his living room, not his childhood home, and sometimes he’ll open the bedroom door and see his father standing there, and then he’ll fucking yeet back into bed. obviously it’s impacted him just a smidge. definitely not full of self-hatred and constantly fighting himself to do shit he likes, absolutely most definitely not traumatized in a million forms and continues to trigger himself because how the fuck do you go about your day not panicking half of the time. IN OTHER WORDS, he was a fucking parent to his brother when he was only 4, he would rather die in the most slow, most painful death than return to childhood. is he even still alive bc he doesn’t know

🍐  :    how intelligent is my muse overall?  are they smarter than the average person,  or less than?  are they primarily self-taught,  or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school?  are they more street smart or book smart? 

if you knew him before his skull was caved in, you would call him a freak for how fast he could think and solve problems. he was the type of genius you’d only heard about in stories, and he pissed off his teachers because he never even needed to be taught. show him the super simple problem once and he knew how to do everything for the next three weeks. he grew up on the streets and read shakespeare for fun. he lost it all. it now only shows rarely, on really good days, when the stars want to align.

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why? 

summer. he literally lived outside most of the time since he was a kid, and summer nights were easiest. outdoor concerts, parties late at night, cookouts and campfires. he also loves storms.

🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them?

which personality is showing most at the time? he’s gotten accused of rape for helping a woman once. let that sink in. but also, he’s helped so many people he’s protected by half the city’s underworld. who knows.

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘  naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes? 

o k a y listen. these r getting too hard i literally don’t know ok can i asked which disorder or which personality is showing most at the time for this bc IT CHANGES like everything always does. mostly, he’s,, weird. he actively seeks it out in the sense he’ll go on dates regularly, but he’s not actually trying to find a girlfriend. he’s carefree. also traumatized. really wanted romance until his heart was ripped to shreds and now he’s convinced himself he’s not lovable, too complicated, extremely undesirable, and especially undeserving of it. he won’t let it happen. no one should have to suffer by having to deal with him. if you’re including things that were just for fun and both parties knew it wasn’t serious, he’s had a few girlfriends. if we’re only including serious things, then he’s only had (1) serious boyfriend. They were together for nearly two years, and they split solely because Jeremiah a) didn’t want sex as much and b) didn’t want to try any kinks. def no trauma from that, absolutely doesn’t panic abt not being good enough or wanting it enough or being pleasing or being fun or attractive or too scarred. nope. also totally doesn’t do shit he doesn’t even like / triggers him just bc they want it gotta give it to them. perfectly fuckin’ fine after one relationship.

🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them? 

our options: 1) aggressive 2) smooth n flirty 3) soft n adorable. he is all of the above. if you’re from the city and connected to the drug world at all, there’s a big ass chance you’re aware he was a major dealer at one point, the son of a psycho serial killer, and connected to damn near every gang in some way. there are few people who would be stupid enough to hurt him, just because there’s probably some member somewhere who’s going to get revenge for it. his rep is pretty positive if ur aware he basically turned the outskirts of the city from a shithole to a really good community. otherwise, u probably just think ‘criminally insane deliquent’. he doesnt rly care about it unless u start asking about his fucking dad.

🥝  :    does my muse have any  ‘  unusual  ’  habits, interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it? 

b r u h i dont fuckin know im skipping this one, he’s just obsessive compulsive about the oddest things

🍋  :    what kind of diet does my muse have?  do they eat regularly,  or the standard 2-3 meals a day?  do they have to be reminded to eat,  or are they likely to remind others?  do they cook,  or have others cook for them?  do they eat healthily,  or not so much?  

no diet. no food. eat if money, starve if none. remember to eat who?? o u mean eat everything. who fucking knows. he can cook really well, sometimes, maybe. pizza and taco bell 4 life. fuck vegetables. fruits are delicious and to be treasured. he mostly eats like shit, if he eats at all.

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero? did they move away,  or do they wish to?

none. no fucks given. still here bc no money to move. would happily fuck off to Paris or something.

[gooseghoul]

make me dream bud, for the ask meme: Snape, Lupin and Lucius !

put 3 characters in my inbox and I’ll tell you who I’d slow burn/fake date/enemies to lovers with

thank you bud

Snape, Lupin and Lucius

putting this under a cut bc i accidentally wrote 3 feature length films of self insert fanfic.

honestly, lads, skip to the end for lucius. it’s the highlight of this post.

slow burn: snape.

so, it’s not that we’re not friends at school. bc we’d talk in potions (or, I’d talk and he’d glare), we’d trade transfiguration notes (he hated that I wrote everything mcgonagall said down), and he’d best me in defence (the only time I’d ever seen him smile). we weren’t friends, but we weren’t not not friends.

he went off the deep end his last two years in school. i’d still speak to him but didn’t seek him out. slytherin pride and all that. gotta stick together. gotta not get murdered by the dark lord.

he wasn’t the type to keep in touch post hogwarts. but with where he was headed in life, the most i was hoping for was that he’d have a “meh” opinion of me. so, if he was ever tasked with murdering me, he’d at least be somewhat quick about it.

the war ends and I run into him. he’s a mess. full mourning dress, looking a little bit queen victoria, absolutely brooding. don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate brooding. but man, sometimes you just need to pull yourself together. we’re not friends exactly. but he sees that i still see him as the angsty kid i went to school with and not the death eater he became. most other people have tainted views of him. i knew too much of his anger, too much of his teenage fear and hate to despise him. i’d seen him laugh in the common room with mulciber, in the courtyard with the girl whose death ended the war. i’d seen him that one christmas i’d stayed at hogwarts. seen him with no presents under the tree. a stocking empty.

how could i hate a kid i’d seen come to school with at the start of term bruises on his arms? i hated what he’d become, the direction he turned to, but as a slytherin i knew he had little choice. he didn’t have the means to say no. not that i’m sure he’d have wanted to. the boy was a bastard at times, cold and malicious, but he wasn’t evil. he didn’t have the heart to be evil.

he owled me every month from hogwarts. then, after a year, every fortnight. then every week. then every other day.

the month harry potter came to hogwarts i received no owls. no frantic floo calls. nothing but radio silence.

then he showed up at my doorstep unannounced, fire whiskey in hand, ranting about how the boy was just like his father. it was awful to listen to, but listen i did. because snape had been through this before: the torment at potter’s hands (although this time unintentional, possibly imagined), the need to fight back, to be drawn into something bigger. the cycle has begun again.

snape was cruel. ugly. an awful, vindictive man.

but i couldn’t shake that christmas morning from my mind. i couldn’t shake the sound of his laugh.

i’d see him in person more often. whenever he had a free weekend he’d floo in. mostly he complained about potter, but i tried to drag him away from that topic after a few weeks of nothing but anger. potions was a good bet, but even that devolved into how incompetent potter war.

so i put a “potter” jar on my mantelpiece and made snape pay a knut every time he even thought about the kid. after two weeks, the jar was half full and snape started insisting we meet in hogsmeade instead. neutral territory. easier for him. as far away from that damn jar as possible. but the point had been made. potter was mentioned no more.

i didn’t see him when the mark burnt black on his skin. not for a good week. then snape was tumbling into my hallway numb from the torment. in all the time i’d known him, he’d never been so quiet.

i lead him to my bed and he fell asleep there. i took the sofa. it was the first time he’d stayed the night. it wasn’t the last.

it was weird how it progressed. how it went from cups of tea wordlessly granted, to stolen looks, fingers lingering too long, touches that weren’t there before. he didn’t like me like that. didn’t love me like how he’d loved that girl from before. i knew that in my heart. knew i’d always be second best. knew he didn’t truly have it in him.

but i was there and one touch led to another. one barking laugh at something i’d read in the paper. one christmas morning spent away from the castle. one fire whiskey too many.

a year and a half of normal. of the something between us being more than friendship and slightly less than love.

then the end of harry potter’s sixth year. the end of dumbledore’s tenure. i couldn’t look at him. couldn’t speak to him. couldn’t touch him.

that last year I wish I could live again. my family and I were safe. though we weren’t death eaters we were purebloods, slytherins, good people who’d never gone out of our way to say anything about muggles. snape wasn’t part of that year. was part of that awful regime.

I regret it. now that Potter’s story came out. now that the truth of Severus Snape had reverberated throughout the wizarding world. even i, one of the people closest to him, who had known and loved him the longest out of all, had believed him a monster. but snape was dead. gone. and he had died for love. so confusing a concept that at times i didn’t think him capable of it.

(but the way he’d talked of potter. how he ranted and raved – that was love, wasn’t it? love of the mother, hatred of the son.)

he was dead but not completely. i see him there, in the flash of a student’s cloak; black like the mourning robes he never shed. there, in the biting remark spun in the air over a pint at the bar. and there, in the ugly sun which rises now over the wizarding world. it is a world not free from hate nor vitriol, but one recovering from a war which would have been fateless without him.

fake date: lupin. sirius black cannot stand anything slytherin. to him, understandably, slytherin is the epitome of all that is wrong with the world. certainly all that is wrong with hogwarts. sirius black hates the fact that lupin is on civil terms with me and actually kind of friends. we sit together in potions. while we’re not the best students, slughorn thinks we work well together and refuses to separate us.

so, The Prank has just happened. I’ve no idea what went on, but that weird Snape kid in my year looks shaken up. Sirius Black looks actively guilty. And Remus Lupin is angry. I don’t think I’ve seen Lupin angry in my life. Lupin is so angry he misses our study group, and almost puts the flobberworm mucus in the potion too early. but he doesn’t care that the potions could have gone horrifically wrong.

a week later he finally comes to the library. i ask him what’s wrong but he doesn’t say anything. eventually he hisses, “Black did something stupid. so fucking stupid. he doesn’t even see what he did wrong.”

he’s calling Sirius ‘Black’. Sirius Black is never anything but Sirius.

“I hate him. I’m never speaking to him again. I wish I could just— I wish I could show him how awful— do something that would make him see—”

he looks at me, a gleam in his eyes. “M. you’re a slytherin.”“er”“You’re a pureblood.”“eeeerrr”his eyes are beginning to look a bit manic. “you’re friends with snape”“friends is a strong word for knowing the kid’s name.”

“M. I need you to know that I mean this completely platonically. But I trust you and I think this could work. Will you be my girlfriend?”

platonic? girlfriend? “remus, you know—“

“sirius hates everything about you.” (thanks bud). “not you specifically. but everything you embody. pureblood. blood supremacy. voldemort”

“okay, listen, mate. just because I’m slytherin doesn’t mean I’m up for maiming some muggles.”

“no. but sirius thinks you are. he thinks you’re all the same.”

I think of regulus in the years below, and how, yeah regulus is a blood supremacist like most of us. but he’s not that.

“right. i don’t see what this has to do with platonic dating.”

“It’ll show Sirius how much he’s hurt me. that I’ve turned to you out of all my friends. that he didn’t even know I’d been thinking of you.”

so, Lupin is great. but also sometimes, just sometimes, he’s a bit of a dick. but you know what, if remus lupin wants to date you you do not say no. even if it’s platonic, strictly revenge dating. even if you think that maybe lupin should just talk through his feelings (his weirdly passionate feelings) with Sirius.

“fine. let’s do it.”

Sirius Black is pissed off. we start off small. walking to classes together. stopping by the gryffindor table to say hi to Lupin. we even let ourselves be caught holding hands in the corridor. how scandalous.

the slytherins corner me and ask what the fuck i’m doing with a gryffindor. so i tell them: I’m doing this to bring the blood traitor Sirius Black down a peg. I want to destroy him. Snape doesn’t look at me anymore. but honestly, his impact on my life was so little that I’d barely notice had one of the Black girls not pointed it out.

we’re in the corridor one day before lupin’s prefect patrol. stood by the gryffindor common room just talking while lupin waits for his partner (lily?) to arrive. lupin’s holding my hand, thumb running over my knuckles absent mindedly. no-one’s around, but you have to put the effort in, right? you have to believe what you’re doing to act it well, right?

“bear with me” lupin says looking behind me. and kisses me.

it’s weird. but maybe…. M, maybe you’re not as gay as you thought you were.

there’s a horrified sound behind you. a hissed word and a door (portrait?) slamming shut. but all that exists in the world is remus lupin.

he pulls away after a moment. utters a single word fuck before kissing me again.

after hogwarts we marry and have 15000000000 cats and my family is super rich so that skinny boy never has to starve again and we build a werewolf bunker under our country estate and all is well. (until his two best friends are murdered and their child survives them but grows up abused and not know who he is but y’know we can gloss over that part.)

enemies to lovers: lucius.

i was a couple years above draco at school. the malfoys hated my family as we were both slytherins and blood traitors (lmao at me pretending i am in anyway a pureblood). post war the malfoys are trying to redeem themselves. draco and i go to the same university (st andrews school of magic), we run into each other in the classics dep and start talking. we become slow friends and i stay at his house over summer. his mum’s house, bc lucius and narcissa divorced post-war.

lucius is there one day, sees me, spits some vitriol and storms out. there’s a number of awful meetings with lucius, but draco isn’t willing to put his parent’s desires above his own anymore. bc he is not his parents. turns out, lucius resents me bc my family and i were good slytherins, so we didn’t get fucked over post-war. lucius and i have a number of mr darcy / elizabeth bennett style arguments with draco bashing his head against the table.

the next summer, i spend a couple weeks with draco at his dad’s place. there, lucius reveals he’s not a complete cock and is actually trying to repent but doesn’t know how. i’m kind of like, hey, so maybe this guy isn’t as bad as he seems. hey, draco, your dad’s kind of cool once you get past the whole being a death eater thing. slowly lucius starts spending more time around the house when draco, me and our friends are there. lucius starts talking to me like i’m a human being and not a rat.

hey, draco, you know your dad has great hair right? you know he’s actually kind of handsome if we ignore how stress has aged him. hey, draco —

cue a scene straight from clueless. one of lucius malfoy’s albino peacocks (because he smuggled some out from the manor during the divorce) walks behind me, a fountain suddenly starts spouting water.

“oh my god, draco. i’m in love with your dad.”

…

…

…

draco says, “no fucking shit you doorknob”

i don’t do anything bc lucius is a dick. he’s always been a dick. i’ve hated his family since before i could talk. he’s hated mine since before i was born. but he’s also….. kind of a dilf? draco thinks the whole thing is really weird, but also he’d rather me than some of the people who’ve been trying to court lucius. so like, he starts trying to hint at a possible relationship.

hint is a strong word.

“hey, dad, M would be a great step mum right?” “hey, dad, doesn’t M look like she could do with a sugar daddy to help her off her feet. if only we knew someone who had a lot of money.” “oh, hey, dad. don’t we have lots of money?” “hey, dad, i can’t be her sugar daddy bc I’m too young. the laws of sugar daddies disallow any relationship between us. if only there were another single man in this family with access to our fortune.”

meanwhile, the malfoy’s most recent house elf is trying to bash draco’s head against the table.

i get invited to the malfoy’s christmas party. i’m working on my postgrad and draco has just finished his first semester of honours.

there’s mistletoe. lucius is standing next to me. but there’s mistletoe. at the christmas party. at the christmas party where lucius is standing next to me. under the mistletoe.

we kiss. really awkwardly bc i’m about 5 gin and tonics into the night but also really eager. bc shit son. shit son. this universe’s M is str8 as heck for the absolute daddy that is Lucius Malfoy.(draco is head bridesmaid at our wedding. a single albino peacock is best man. it is a beautiful, if not visually confusing, affair.)