#it's like a person pointing out that they like my hairstyle out of nowhere like it makes me smile the entire day 😭😭!

[hyewka]

I 🥲 feel 🥲 so 🥲 lackluster 🥲 lately 🥲

[fangirl-dot-com]

Lewis Hamilton and George Russel - I'm with a Knight and Slenderman, No One Can Touch Me

It’s part 4 time! This was so fun to write and I laughed so hard at some parts. I feel like George is a really underrated driver. He’s funny and a good person (even though he looks like Woody from Toy Story). And the girlfriend effect has hit him hard. His hair is so beautiful and I need to know what he does with his bangs. 

And then Sir Lewis – good Lord, he needs to go back to that one hairstyle from that one interview that made everyone fall for him 

Specially dedicated to @treehouse-mouse <3

[TAG LIST IS CLOSED] 

Like always, comments, questions, concerns, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated! Love you all &lt;;3 

“Shit,” you muttered as you looked around the now empty paddock. You knew that taking a nap after your media duties had been done was a bad idea. You had played nap roulette with yourself and were now paying the consequences. You shouldn’t have said “oh, I won’t set an alarm. Someone will come get me. I might nap for ten minutes or it might be 3 hours. Who knows!” 

Well, now you knew. It was three hours. 

You looked around for your backpack that you had come with. But as your eyes danced around the garage, it was nowhere to be found. You sighed as you at least remembered your phone. But alas, the world hated you for being a woman: your phone was dead. 

“Ok, there’s no reason to panic. Let’s head to the parking lot and see if someone is still here,” you whispered to yourself. Walking carefully, you exited the dark paddock. The parking lot was no different. 

Dark, cold, and empty. 

“Great. Just great.” You decided to sit on a curb and wait. Maybe by now, Christian or Max would know that you are missing, and will come back to get you. 

Or maybe they were mad at you. Yes, you were on the podium. As a rookie. At your first race. 

But you made a mistake that costed the team a 1-2 finish. Maybe you didn’t deserve to be looked for. 

Before your thoughts could spiral more, two bright headlights blinded you. You raised a hand to try to cover at least some of your face. The two front doors of the car swung open. Your heart started to race. 

It was just you out here and they might be kidnappers. 

“Please I have no money on me. Don’t beat me up or kidnap me. Trust, you do not want to sell me or anything like that,” you spoke out, trying to hinder their unknown wants for you. Your fear slowly melted away at a familiar grandpa laugh and bean-pole build of the two figures. 

“Lewis! George!” You stood up quickly. 

“What are you doing out here?” George peered down. Your neck was bent to even look up at him. 

“Um. I might have been left behind because I was taking a nap. And my phone is also dead.” You sheepishly grinned at the two. 

Lewis sighed before bringing out his phone. “I don’t have Christian’s number, but Toto does. Let me give him a call.” 

Your head cocked. “Do you not have Max’s number?” George let out a laugh. 

“Kid. Think of Abu Dhabi 2021.” Your eyes widened. 

“Sorry.” 

Lewis waved you off and walked a bit aways to hear Toto. George just kind of stared at you as you stared at him. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Of course I’m ok. I’m with a knight,” you pointed at Lewis, “and Slenderman. No one can touch me.” You crossed your arms before giggling. George just gawked at your boldness. You took this time to look at the nice Mercedes in front of you. “Is this the new model?” 

George nodded. “Yeah, Lewis just got it. He won’t let me drive it though.” A pout formed on his lips. 

“I get what you mean. Max won’t let me drive his Ferrari.” 

“Why would you want to drive that junk?” 

Your head tilted. “I don’t know. I like my Porsches better though.” It was George’s time to raise an eye brow. “I haven’t gotten them yet. But they’ll be ready soon. I had to ship one to London and the other to Monaco.” 

“Ah.” 

You looked at Lewis, who was still on the phone. You had an idea. 

A very bad one, but an idea none-the-less. 

“You wanna go somewhere?” You pointed at the still running car. Lewis should have taken the keys. 

“Where would we go?” George was already grinning like the Cheshire cat. 

“There’s a burger king a couple of miles away.” 

George was already climbing into the driver’s side. “Let’s get going!”

Back with Lewis, he was still on the phone. For some reason, Toto would still not give him Christian’s number. 

“Please Toto, I am with two children,” he pinched his brow, “and I’m tired and I’d like to get back to the hotel. So please send me Max’s or Christian’s number.” He wasn’t aware of his car that was now filled with said two children making their getaway. He hung up once he got Max’s number. 

His phone rang for a few seconds before Max’s voice sounded over the background noise of a party. 

“Who is this?” 

“It’s Lewis. You left your kid here.” He heard Max curse on the other side. 

“I thought Vito was getting her, but Vito is right at the bar. Can you send me your location so I can pick her up?” 

Lewis waved a hand, even though Max couldn’t see it. “No worries, I can just drop her off. I’m with George and we’ll driver her over. I have my-” Lewis stopped.

“Lewis? Are you there?” 

Lewis’ eyes scanned the now empty parking lot. He groaned. “They took my car!” 

Max laughed for a bit before he realized that Lewis wasn’t playing. “Send my your location, I’m already out the door. We’ll find them.” 

By the time Max got to Lewis, you and George were already having the time of your lives. 

You pointed out the window. “Look Georgie. Traffic cones. Have you ever put one on your head?” 

When George denied that he had, you gasped and told him to pull over. You and him climbed out of the low car and walked over to the traffic cones. By now, your phone was a bit charged, courtesy of the charger in the vehicle. And it was blowing up. 

But you didn’t see it or care. 

You picked up one of the cones and put it on your head. Your giggle resonated through it. 

“Y/n, smile!” You heard George say. You smiled, even though it wouldn’t be seen under the orange hat. 

George told you that he was going to set up the camera to take a picture of the two of you. 

“Let’s put our heads together.” The two cones whacked against the other. George had to bend over so that they would be close.

You laughed as your hair was staticky due to the cone. George’s hair was the same, which made you laugh even harder. “Send that to me, I’m going to post in on the gram.” 

The only notification you looked at was the one from George with the picture. Quicky uploading it, you knew you were about to create even more chaos. 

The two of you decided to sit on the curb for a bit. Your thoughts from earlier quickly sprang into your head, due to the silence between you two. 

“George?” you questioned, looking ahead. He was currently scrolling through his phone, but he made a noise to let you know that he was listening. 

“What was it like having a teammate that you know you’ll never amount to? Not saying that you won’t amount to Lewis at some point, but,” you trailed off, not knowing how to continue. 

The click of his phone let you know that George was now focused on the conversation. 

“I get what you mean. It’s very overwhelming. You get put up with world champions, and people are already expecting you to beat records and perform as well as they do.” George sighed as he reflected on his first year with Mercedes. How the people would taunt that he wasn’t good enough to be Lewis’s teammate and that he should just be second fiddle to him. Suddenly, he noticed a hand had been placed on his shoulder. Tears also wetted his face. 

When had he started crying? 

You continued to rub his shoulder until his tears stopped. 

You tried to console him. “Well, we can be second-fiddle buddies together?” you offered, hoping he would laugh. And he did. 

The two of you decided to sit on the curb for a few more minutes. But at this point, you knew that Lewis along with Max were probably on their way to get you. You pulled yourself up, then held out a hand to George, who took it without second thought.  

Before you knew it, the two of you were back in the car, just chilling. 

“Look what Max and Lewis are saying.” You showed him the screen and laughed. It really was fun to mess with old men. 

“Are we still going to burger king?” 

You nodded your head. “If Lewis can be a knight, I need a crown to be the king.” 

“Don’t you mean queen?” he asked as he started the car back up again. 

“Nope.” You popped the P and that was a good enough answer. George pulled away from the side of the street and made his way to the Burger King. The two of you were thankful that it was mostly empty, except for the employees. The two of you ordered more than enough food for two people. You justified it as giving the workers more money. 

Your companion went along with it. 

“Order number 69,” the tired lady called out. George and you shared a look before the two of you collapsing on the ground, dying with laughter and probably exhaustion. You were still giggling as you took the food from the lady. You muttered a thank you before you and George took a table near the back. 

“Did you get your slushie?” you questioned, holding your cup. 

“I didn’t know they had slushies!” 

You took George’s hand and let him over to the machine. The amount of slushies that you slurped down would never be recorded. As you drank one of your last ones, you suddenly remembered an important detail. 

You looked over at the tired lady who took your order. “Do you have the crowns?”  

Max was still constantly trying to reach you, with one hand on the steering wheel and his phone in the other. 

“Come on kid. Pick up,” he pleaded and cursed when the call went to voicemail for the umpteenth time that night. 

Lewis was texting all the drivers in the group chat, asking if they’d seen the two of you. They came up short. 

“This is ridiculous,” Max seethed. “How could you have let them do this?” 

Lewis shot him a glare. “How could you leave her at the paddock after dark?” he bit back. 

“Like I said, Vito was supposed to take her back to the hotel. She’s not allowed in the clubs.” 

“Then Christian should find some way for everyone to party. The kid got a podium her first race as a rookie, and she was left behind.” 

Max banged his head on the steering wheel as they stopped at a red light. Lewis was correct. He wondered if you felt forgotten. Knowing you, you probably did. And it was mostly his fault. He’d talk to Christian about alternatives until you turned legal age.

“I’ll talk to Christian about that. What were you and George doing back at the paddock anyway?” 

Lewis grimaced. “I forgot a file back at our garage. George seemed antsy and restless so I invited him. Never doing that again.” 

Max smirked, “Kids. Am I right?”  

“Look!” Lewis pointed at a familiar car in the parking lot of an empty Burger King. Max pulled in on two wheels. As they walked up, their eyes landed on two people, crowns on their heads, hands flailing. 

Max pushed the door open and stopped towards the figures. His hands landed aggressively on the table. “Do you two know how much trouble you’re in.” 

He heard laughing from behind him. 

“Max. That’s not them,” Lewis whispered. 

Max’s head jerked and saw the scared faces of two employees. He heard more laughing and whipped his head around, eyes finally falling on you and George, whose phone was out recording. You looked as if you were about to explode with laughter. 

“I’m sorry about that.” He turned around and stomped towards your table. “Let’s try this again.” 

His palms hit the correct table this time. “Do the two of you know how much trouble you are in?” He looked into your eyes before glancing at George. 

You stared up at the seething Dutchman. You pulled out a french fry.  

“Fry?” 

“Lewis, I got you an impossible whopper.” George held out the wrapped food. 

Max sighed, anger waning by the minute. There was no fighting with the two of you. The two adult-figures sat down and started to eat. Max munched on a fry as Lewis started to eat the burger. 

You and George continued to talk about your so-called adventures. 

“And then George ran a red light.” 

Lewis choked as George winced. Lewis’s head jerked toward George, eyes squinting. 

“You’re paying for that.” George only shrugged, he had enough money anyway. 

Max just stared in silence, mulling over the exhausting night. You could sense that he was still cooling off, and you were scared of what he might say in the car. 

The food was quickly finished and the four of you were headed out the door. It seemed as though yours and George’s energy levels were quickly tanking as the two of you barely said a goodbye. The hug and faux tears though were enough for Lewis and Max to roll their eyes. 

You watched as George and Lewis left in the Mercedes. You gulped as you got into the passenger side of Max’s rental vehicle. You winced at the proximity. 

You mind quickly went back to your dad. How he’d hit the side of your face if you did anything that was “out of line.” Or he’d pinch your thigh until it bruised. Those were the easiest to hide. When your face was a little too red and purple, your helmet stayed on for the entire race day. 

Your eyes welled with tears at the thought of Max turning out to be like him. You didn’t think he would, but you were out of line tonight. 

No fun. No sneaking out. No stealing (borrowing) cars. 

You were sinking into yourself, and Max could sense that. 

He turned to look at you. What he said next was shocking. 

“I’m sorry kid.” 

Your eyes bulged. “Why are you sorry? If anything, I should be on my knees begging for your forgiveness.” 

Max just stared at you before slowly putting his hand near your head. 

This was it. He was going to hit you and you’d have to live through everything again. You couldn’t tell Christian that his golden-child would do such a thing. And no one would ever believe you. 

You jerked back as your eyes closed tight. Your body tensed, waiting for the repercussion to your actions. Your breaths got a little bit faster and shorter.   

But it never came. 

All that was, was a gentle placed hand on the top of your head. 

Comforting. Loving. Cherishing. 

Max wanted to cry as he saw how your body prepared for something horrible. Something nasty. 

“Kleintje,” Max breathed out. 

Your tears began to make their escape down the hills of your cheeks. You could only repeat and whisper I’m sorry, over and over again. Max couldn’t do anything but wait for you to calm down and maybe tell him what was racing through your head. 

Your breathing evened out as you felt there was nothing coming. Soon you were embarrassed for thinking that Max, one of the only people to seem to care about you, would do such a thing. Yet, your mind always went back to your patterns.

People who should care, didn’t. Hands that were made for comforting, didn’t. Encouragements didn’t exist…for you. 

Maybe you were the problem. 

But, maybe you weren’t. You’d allow some comfort, just this once. 

Max cooed as you leaned into his hand. He knew you were tired. A long day of racing and a long night of adventures would really do that to you.  

He didn’t expect you to explain to so quickly. But you knew how to surprise someone. 

“My dad and mom, weren’t the nicest. They wanted a boy, got me instead.” You harshly exhaled. “They put me in karting because if they had had a boy, they would have done the same. I was just a placeholder.”

Max listened, wanting to hear what you said. 

“It started off small. A push here, a hit to the helmet there. I really didn’t think anything of it. Until I was about 7 and I crashed my kart on the last lap. I was going to win too, but I over compensated and hit the wall. All I remember after that race was my dad grabbing my wrist and yanking me to the car. I hit my head on the dash, I think. Or he was the one to push my head in.” You shrugged at the nasty memory, as if it didn’t matter. 

Max on the other hand, was getting angrier. Yes, his dad did similar things, but he was a boy. He could stand up for himself. And he had his mom and sister. 

You had no one. 

“The next morning, I woke up and there was this giant bruise on my face and smaller ones littered my arms. I thought that was the end of it, except it continued. I was able to hide it pretty well. My race suit pretty much covered everything. I also didn’t have many friends, or, I just didn’t have friends. So there, wasn’t a need to worry. They stopped after I made it to the end of F4, because I was winning and there were more cameras. The moment I made it to F3 in 2019, they disowned me.” 

He did the math. You would have been 16 at the time. Still a kid, but smaller. His heart broke for you. 

“Kid, look at me.” 

You turned your head and made eye contact. Your brows furrowed when you saw tears in his eyes. 

He wasn’t supposed to cry. Why was he crying? 

“I’m crying because no one should ever have to go through something like that.” Oh, you must have said that out loud.

You shrugged once again, “I probably deserved it.” 

“No, geitje, no one deserves that. Ever. You didn’t.” You could only nod along. Your eyes were getting tired by the minute. Max could tell so he started the car. He only had one more thing to say. (translation : kid) 

“My dad did similar things. But I had people to help me. And I know your dad isn’t around, but Y/n,” he said your name, trying to emphasize that he was serious. “I am here for you. Christian is here for you. Mitch is here and so is Vito. We love you. I’m not a good teammate, and you can see that I’ve gone through more teammates than anyone else has in the amount of time I’ve been here. I’m the only constant. But I think that we will actually work out. Best duo right?” 

For the first time since Burger King, where you and him were still parked, he saw your eyes light up. 

You nodded, “Best duo.” 

Max finally took that as a sign that you’d be ok for the night. He carefully back the car out and started on the road toward the hotel. 

“Do you think Christian will let me come to the club next race.” 

Max let out a sarcastic laugh. “Definitely not.” 

Your giggles filled the small space. Max’s heart swelled at making you laugh. 

You’d be all right. He’d make sure of it. 

AN: oh my gosh that got REAL depressing – I apologize. But, Max needed to know a bit more about your lore if he’s going to be able to fend off any unwanted visitors (FORESHADOWING). Anyway, I will see you all at the next chapter! Muah! Much love <3 – author :D 

Tag List : @awekbachira @lightdragonrayne @leilanixx @angsthology @topguncultleader @landosgirlxoxo @gods-menace @itsjustkhaos @thefandomswhre @alwaysboredsworld @vellicora @bintuabbas @sam-is-lost @empress-kimiko @assholeinatrenchcoat @kagatinkita @glitterquadricorn @zyonsay @tsukishimawhore @ashy-kit @agent-curt-mega @julesbabey @lydialawrence @stopeatread @claudia5912 @nichmeddar @blueberry64857959 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @leptitlu @alessioayla @badassturtle13 @kaaale @wcnorris @cool-ultra-nerd @hockeyboysarehot @agent-curt-mega @myxticmoon @cmleitora @sam-is-lost @misartymis @boiohboii @alexander-hamilhoe @jayda12 @indesicivelyconfuzzled @fangirl125reader @itscrzy @xcharlottemikaelsonx @fionaschicken @torchbearerkyle @ineedafictionalman @loaksmuntxa @classiclitfreak @sarcasm-ismy-onlydefense @luisie @jayda12 @comfortzonequeen @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @inejghafawifesblog

[theholypeanut]

♪ I Think He Knows ♪

Content: GOM + Kagami + Takao having a tall gf (headcanon) fem!reader, just fluff, tiny suggestive

Notes: “Tall”, but realistically (I know wild for knb) so let’s say approx 5’9 (175 cm)

Kuroko

- Kuroko is so used to everyone being taller than him, that he wouldn’t really feel that out of place while having a tall girlfriend

- You are the only person allowed to stroke his hair, but only in private - you’d never allow anyone to see it

- Kuroko always cares about your comfort and even if he is not much into pda, you hold hands very often

- He love to kiss your forehead when you sit

- He can be both a big or a small spoon, whatever you need

Kise

- Kise absolutely adores that you are tall, but not taller than him

- You can get model gigs with him and he asks you to that often because he is just obsessed with showing you to people

- You can still comfortably wear heels with him

- Kise loves hugging you from behind

- H U G E pda fan, you are never safe in public, holding hands, stolen kisses, constant forehead kisses because “your forehead is just so close to my lips it’s asking for it”

- will literally hiss seeing guys checking you out

Aomine

- He was actually quite bummed at the beginning that you are not tiny, because he cannot make fun of you 24/7

- But who cares about height there are other measurements that are more important (I’m not pointing fingers)

- You are still smaller than him so he can put his hand on your hair and just destroy any hairstyle you have and laugh at you

- The king of putting his hand around you waist

- Randomly nibbles your neck and starts teasing (usually it ends up spicy)

- Mr “I’ll whisper dirty stuff to your ear in public and watch you get red”

- Puts his chin on your head All. The. Time.

- Tries to make you play basketball with him because “tbh you are still higher than Akashi and Kuroko so maybe there’s some potential” (he’d never say that next to Akashi obv)

Midorima

- Midorima is so clueless and extra tall, that he wouldn’t even notice that you are reasonably tall for a girl until someone points it out. Or until you stand next to Takao

- He has absolutely no opinion about it whatsoever because he just don’t think it’s an important factor in a relationship

- However he gets red like a tomato if you’d hug him from behind and put your face on his shoulder

- Or if you stand on your tiptoes and give him a forehead kiss. He is g o n e

- That’s the day he decided he loves that you are tall

- Gets annoyed when someone comments that you could be a model. Tells you that you absolutely shouldn’t start a model career, and didn’t want to elaborate why (because he was afraid you’d start attracting a bigger crowd and leave him bc he is an insecure Bebe inside fight me)

Murasakibara

- Tall? You? You look like a Smurf to him

- Who is this gnome standing next to him? Yes that’s you

- I mean, again, Murasakibara do not find you really tall. However seeing how small are girls at school, Atsushi fast realised that this is as good as it gets

- Atsushi constantly puts his head on yours

- If any guy tries to flirt with you and approaches you, he gets jealous quickly and shows up out of nowhere and holds you by the waist to show dominance (and with his height… works like a charm)

- Murasakibara is a big baby and pouts if any guy is complimenting how tall you are

- Also for very long he would call you “tiny” and everyone had the idea that you must be very small, and gets surprised when they meet you (“well for me she is tiny”)

- He is constantly kissing the crown of your head

- The biggest softie, honestly for him being taller than an average person makes you just… average to him, and that’s honestly perfect

- Not that big on pda but will always hold you close, hold your hand, waist, just to show everyone that you are taken

Akashi

- Being taller than Akashi… oh boy, well

- Obviously you didn’t expect to fall for a guy who is shorter than you, but obviously Akashi has a huge personality and it doesn’t really matter

- You are almost the same height and it has a lot of perks: for example it’s so easy to get a quick kiss without a lot of effort

- Akashi loves to kiss your neck

- No one dares comment about lack of height difference

- Akashi actually encourages you to wear heels if you like them, because he has enough confidence to not get insecure about this kind of stuff, which you appreciate a lot

- Also all of his clothes fits you like a glove, which is a huge perk especially with the fancy expensive stuff you can wear as your own

- You sometimes kabedon him as a surprise when you are alone

- It never ends up well for you (but spicy edition)

Kagami

- Kagami just like Midorima has one braincell and he wouldn’t even notice that you are tall until someone says it out loud

- One day he saw you standing next to Kuroko and he yelled “oh you are taller than Kuroko? You should play basketball”

- One braincell golden retriever

- Just like Aomine he tries to persuade you to play basketball with him (basketball ball for brain I swear)

- He has this reflex to grab your waist and pull you closer whenever there is a crowd

- Loves it when you lay down on his shoulder and fall asleep when you watch a movie

- Loves it when you snuggle your nose in his collarbone, he gets so red

- He is not big on pda but when no one is looking he would sneak a tiny cheek kiss (he actually loves tiny kisses, as well as steamy make out sessions)

- If someone says you look like a model he would get hyped up

Takao

- Takao is a cheeky boy, he would for sure be the one flirting with you till you fall for him

- He fell first he fell harder and he would do everything to convince you to date him even when he is slightly shorter than you

- When he succeeded he couldn’t believe it and he feels like he is the happiest guy on the planet

- The Greenest Flag in here, he treats you like a queen

- Flexes about you constantly, how beautiful and amazing his gf is

- He loves it when you wear heels, and he would for fun pout and ask for forehead kisses like a baby

- HE would kabedon you for fun to make you blush

- Loves hugging you from behind and kissing your nape

- Also he would playfully bite your shoulder or whisper dirty thing to your earlobe just to make you blush out of nowhere

- Honestly just marry him already or I will

[doodler-jpeg]

Thinking about self aware! MW characters (plus Roach) who absolutely adore your laugh.

CW// gender neutral, unfunny men deserve to be slandered, favoritism is seen, badly translated Scottish and Spanish, this is based off of my interpretation (you can find the main fic link on my account)

Feedback and criticism are highly encouraged! Please tell me if anything is badly translated, out of character, or something else!

Ghost actively makes jokes that are guaranteed to make you at least giggle. Even through this weird mental barrier (for him) and your monitor's screen, it's so invigorating to hear some form of joy out on the field, especially when it's from you. It just makes that fuzzy feeling in his heart multiply.

"Thank you, thank you - I'll be here all night."

Gaz takes absolute advantage of this. He makes a few jokes here and there, but keeps it to interesting stories. In some instances, he just starts laughing out of nowhere and you can't help but join in. It's very clear he gets bitches on the daily.

"Didn't know I was that funny, but I'll take what I can get."

Price uses all of his past experiences with courting to get, at the very least, a giggle or two out of you. He doesn't have millenium of experience (contrary to your belief), but he's certain that his "old-man" charisma and his weird way with words. But he still tells some older jokes, so your assumption that he's older isn't completely wrong (he was totally raised by his grandparents).

"Would you like to hear a story?" *Tells one of the pointless joke stories that lasts for 10 minutes and has the stupidest punchline*

Roach can't really come up with ways to make you laugh. His preference of keeping quiet and faceless doesn't really help, either. Instead, he tries to point out some enemy on the field, signing insults to them that you're sure to understand.

'His head looks like a donkey, and he acts like one, too.'

Soap physically cannot keep you from laughing. He doesn't even have to make a joke, you just start laughing. He believes it's because he's just an immediately funny dude, but you're not going to tell him that he looks stupid with that hairstyle. If he does tell any jokes, they're not even funny.

"Dinnae ken how come ye'r laughing, bit keep daein' it."

Alejandro tries, he really does, and it doesn't work most of the time. It's kind of funny seeing this overly-confident dude absolutely fumble because of his lack of realization that your personality and humor aren't really the same as the people he usually catches. On occasion, though, he does get a rise out of you and can't stop smirking about it for the rest of the day.

Valeria has subtle jokes that rely mainly on her tone, but those aren't her priority. She doesn't mean to be rude (lies usually, but with you?), but she does impressions of your laugh and then comments on it. Usually they're not bad, but it does feel demeaning sometimes.

"Me gusta esa risa. Jejejejeje."

"You know why Mexicans call Americans 'gringos'? ... Would you like to?"

Rodolfo doesn't always try to make you laugh - he still gets a bit disoriented that you're no physically there (which means he can't see your face, but what is he gonna do about it?). His humbleness and large range of jokes really comes through, especially since he'd been the family entertainer at parties. If you can understand simple jokes in Spanish? You're practically set to be unable to keep a straight face, and he loves it. (Even if he doesn't understand it, he'll turn it into a mini lesson so you do)

"¿Qué dijo el gato cuando chocó su carro? 'Miau-to.'"

Nikolai has a handful of Russian jokes at his disposal. Are you completely guaranteed to understand? No, and he doesn't expect you to. If you do understand Russian, boy howdy is he gonna have the time of his life! You won't be able to breathe properly until he's out of sight!

"You see, it's funny because-" *explains joke if you don't understand*

Laswell is a huge fan of subtle jokes. She often makes small, funny comments that get light-hearted chuckles out of her. However, she also has older humor, which means you're less likely to understand unless you, too, are old (which isn't likely, but it's still a possibility). She likes hearing you laugh and really does try to get some sort of connection with you, even if it doesn't work.

"What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? 'Damn it, I missed the bus.'"

Alex is a funny man. He's aware of his effect on people and uses it to his full advantage. As a people-pleaser, he makes it his duty to get you to laugh as much as possible. If he doesn't make you laugh, he'll make himself laugh, and then you laugh. He's totally not putting all his effort into jokes just to get you to laugh or anything. He's just that guy.

"Me? A tryhard? Whaaaat? Psh- as if."

Farah has no business with nonchalant jokes, but she makes them work. While she does like the sound of your voice, she doesn't want to force it. She believes that intentionally funny words can diminish any genuine laughter, so she sticks to half-assing it in hopes you at least giggle. That's not to say she doesn't try to get you to laugh - she just does it far less, since she can't see your face (but she can just imagine the glee on your face if you get the giggles because of her).

"What is your type of humor? Asking for a friend."

Graves is unintentionally funny. When he tries, he fails miserably. He says a southern phrase that might not be super known? You're cracking up. He doesn't get it, but at least you're going 'teehee'.

"What's so funny 'bout me sayin' cattywampus? It fits the situation!"

[signedaiko]

greetings my fellow human, would it be possible to request some mtmte headcannons? Possibly the reactions of ratchet, rong rung and Cyclonus walking in on their human friend, only to find out they cut their hair. Like, the human had an anxiety attack and in their panicked state, they cut their long hair, thinking they don’t deserve to be pretty.

this just happened to me today, so knowing what kind of reactions my fav transformers have would really help out. Don’t do this if you don’t feel like it, no pressure (I miss my hair 🥲)

Cyclonus | Ratchet | Rung [MTMTE]

In which you have an anxiety attack and cut your hair, and the mechs take notice.

Reader is: Gender Neutral | Human | Autobot. Platonic.

Cyclonus

Finding out you'd cut your hair in such a state, especially as a means of making yourself 'less pretty,' was something they didn't anticipate in humans

In a way, Cyclonus found your actions very similar to their desecration of their face

For that, he responds to it similarly to how he would have wanted others to respond to him: without making a big deal out of it

He thinks you deserve to have nice things and look nice, too, and is vocal that you are just as deserving as any other being that is forced into existence

In Cyclonus' opinion, no one asked to look the way they do, so if you like it, great!

But if you don't, you deserve to feel frustrated about that

But he won't let it go any further than that

Hair removal is painless when cut at length, so he lets it slide, but you will get a demand from him to not stretch any further than hair cutting

Long hair or not, you look fine, and you are still the same person he recalls, and Cybertronians don't even have hair, so why would it change the way he thinks about you?

If you have any hair left from cutting it, Cyclonus might just ask for some so he can sneak it to one of the scientists and see if they can make some kind of regrowth agent

Ratchet

Ratchet just doesn't get fashion at all

When he sees you, he would think you did it on purpose and tell you it looks great

But he'd notice you're not too happy about it not too long after his comment and apologize if that wasn't what you were looking for

The work you did with the craft scissors wasn't exactly even, especially not at the back

He knows your aim was to take something away from yourself, but he also thinks it's silly that you don't think you deserve something as simple as something that literally grows from your own body's work

So he'll find some tools that can do the trick and offer to cut it at least a bit more neatly for you

He's able to get everything to about the same length and in a style he thinks you'll enjoy, so it looks purposeful as it did before and so it won't grow in awkwardly

"What do you think, kid?"

So long as it improved your mood at least the littlest bit, then it was worth getting all those tiny hair clippings everywhere

Seriously, everywhere, he's still finding some in the cracks of his own plating

Rung

Hair is such a curious aspect of human anatomy; it's useful in some ways, but the stylizing and individuality given to people just by the hundreds of thousands of strands on their heads is unique

From what Rung could tell, you cared about your hair and preferred it long

Which is why it was concerning when he noticed you'd cut it all off out of nowhere

Your mood had been decreased recently, too, and all signs pointed to you having some kind of mental break

Rung requests you speak with him, even if not in depth, so he can feel at ease about your health and safety

If you're vocal about missing your long hair and how you felt you couldn't let yourself have something nice, he would do some research

Printing images of hairstyles he thinks you could try, he even makes some hair accessories to go with them from some leftover fabric and pieces he finds around

You spend a session looking through pictures and picking the ones you like

Rung promises the next time they're near an organic planet with a hairdresser, he will bring you himself so they can get it done properly rather than whatever moment of work Ratchet was able to do with his equipment

Authors Note - You know, when I was 13, I had been a dancer, especially in ballet, for my whole life. As I got older, I gained 20 pounds, and my instructor belittled me so much for it. She loved my long, untouched hair, so I took scissors and cut it all right down to my skin!!!

Basically, I did it too, and I had a super cool Skrillex haircut for a long time until I grew it out two years ago. Hair always grows back! Hope you're doing better.

[brendaareiss]

any caldre fluff hcs for when one of them is sick?

SICK CALDRE HEADCANONS!

I hope these are good enough!

-Cal

So, Cal gets sick pretty easily. He's the kind of person to always be sick, but never something that serious. He always catches stupid colds here and there, winter is truly hell for him. He has the worst immune system, due to the lack of real nutrients in his body (he basically just eats chicken tenders bro tf). So, Andre is used to it.

- Andre everytime Cal doesn't go to school, he comes to his house afterwards to basically check on him.

- He cleans Cal's room and does his laundry. Of course he makes Cal REAL food that most of the time, Cal absolutely hates, but he's forced to eat it anyways.

- He very rarely gives Cal any sort of pill, because he freaks out everytime Cal is in contact with those. But he gives him painkillers sometimes, when he's sick sick

- Cal is a lot more clingy than usual when he's sick. Andre wishes he could say he hates it, but he truly doesn't. He loves having Cal laying on top of him or holding him, running his fingers through Cal's hair or caressing his back, giving him pecks on his forehead and shoulders. Even if andre is in the furthest spot on the house, Cal would crawl to his arms, saying something like: "my head hurts.." or "my throat is sore..".

- Andre is initially very bratty about kissing Cal while he's sick, but he can't resist. By the end of the day, their lips are glued together. Andre hardly ever catches anything Cal has, so it's okay. He doesn't really care though, he just acts like he does

- The only time Andre really freaks out is when Cal starts gagging out of nowhere. He runs to the kitchen to bring a bowl or whatever he can find, he desperately looks for a plastic bag in Cal's room or directly grabbing Cal's hair and yanking him to the bathroom. He freaks out because, if Cal pukes, he's vomiting all of the real food andre gave him, leaving him with nothing inside, which means he won't get better any soon. But when Cal has to puke, of course Andre is gently grabbing his hair, giving him a glass of water afterwards and even brushing Cal's teeth.

- Andre basically stays in Cal's house until Cal is better. At this point, Andre takes more care of him than his own mom 😭

- Andre brings stupid little things Cal's been wanting to make him feel better/happier. A dumb little pocket knife Cal has mentioned before? Andre buys it and brings it to Cal when he's sick. Some of Andre's lighters that Cal said that he really liked? Andre gives them to Cal. Anything to make him feel better

- Andre doesn't smoke or drink when Cal is sick. He knows full well that Cal doesn't care and can't even smell it, but he feels bad when he does it. Like he is doing something wrong.

- Cal's siblings get really jealous. Frederick (I think that's Cal's younger brother's name, correct me if I'm wrong 🙏) gets jealous because he really likes Andre, and when Andre stays at the Gabriel's because Cal is sick, he basically doesn't get out of Cal's room. And when Frederick wants to go inside of Cal's room to spend time with his best bro (andre), his mom won't let him or Cal will kick him out of the room. Cassie (Cal's younger sister) on the other hand, gets jealous because she HATES andre with all her guts. When Andre's is staying at the Gabriel's because of Cal's sickness, she can't spend time with her sweet dear brother (by spending time I mean Cassie putting makeup on Cal's face and giving him all sort of hairstyles). So when she tries to get inside Cal's room, her mom won't let her or Cal, of course, will kick her out.

-Andre

So... When Andre gets sick, contrary to Cal, it's serious (haha zero day haha). He doesn't catch stupid colds or just a slightly headache, he only catches the WORST stomach aches and he has the WORST migraines. Cal is terrified every time that happens, because he doesn't really know how to act or what to do, so he really tries his best.

-Cal usually imitates what Andre does for him when he's sick when Andre's sick. Well, at least he tries

- When Andre can't go to school because he's sick, Cal always doesn't go either. He fully stays in Andre's room until he's better

- Cal always makes sure that the room is as darkest and quieter as possible

- contrary to Andre, Cal brings all the pills Andre has in his house. He doesn't know which one does what, so he just brings all of them.

-Cal is always running his fingers through Andre's hair, trying to soothe his migraines. Same goes when Andre has a rlly bad stomach ache, Cal would unconsciously start giving him belly rubs.

- By the way, when a stomach ache is the case, Andre is really freaked out, because some of them are contagious. So, if Cal is already dying with a dumb little cold he catched because of the temperature change, imagine if he catched the kind of things andre catches.

- Following by this, Andre doesn't really let Cal kiss him when he's sick. Even if he has only a migraine. He doesn't like having to kiss someone while sick, so he would just basically order Cal to not kiss him on the mouth. Cal would end up kissing the top of Andre's head gently and his neck.

- so, Cal doesn't know ANYTHING about cooking, so, he would just bring the food that Andre's mom made to Andre's room.

- Mel would sometimes be kicked out of Andre's room. When Andre has migraines, it pisses him off hearing the constant noise of Mel's collar and watching/feeling her running around his room or getting inside of things where she shouldn't (his drawers, for example). She also steps on Andre's stomach when Andre has stomach aches, so yeah. Cal would sometimes just get her collar of off her and letting her walk around Andre's room, or, just kicking her out

- Of course, andre is a lot more bossy and pissy when he's sick. Cal doesn't really care though

- Cal is basically like a doll when Andre's sick. Letting him hug him and cuddle with him whenever Andre wants and in whatever position Andre wants, it doesn't matter if it's uncomfortable. Cal is too worried abt Andre to think about being comfortable. But they usually cuddle in the big spoon/little spoon position (Cal being the little spoon) and Andre laying on top of Cal.

- Cal tries to stay as quiet as possible or talk as softly as he can (YOU KNOW WHEN IN THE MOVIE, HE SAYS THIS TO MEL: "don't tell dad, okay"? SO THAT'S HOW HE TALKS TO ANDRE WHEN HE'S SICK 😭) because he knows, most of the time Andre's head hurts more only by hearing noises (fucking migraines). He doesn't even try to make Andre laugh, that would be worse, because when Andre is sick it basically hurts to laugh

- All of their day is basically Andre laying on top of Cal. Cal with his legs wrapped around Andre, running his fingers through his hair and giving him gentle pecks on his forehead and the top of his head. When Andre has a stomach ache, just add "watching a random movie" to what I said before

[lovedreamer11]

There are times when I really hate HOTD

You have no idea how much I want the HOTD writers to go to hell. I'm a patient person and I'm used to adaptations being different from the original, but what they did with HOTD is a huge piece of garbage. Adaptations often change appearance, plot, time frame, but a drastic change in personality is something I cannot tolerate.

What the hell happened to Alicent? Maybe the real Alicent was a stepmother from hell, but at least she knew what she wanted and was ready to do anything to achieve what she wanted. What happened to the boastful, arrogant, stupid and hot-tempered Aemond? And Aegon? This guy was a hot-tempered, spoiled hedonist, but not Mr. "I do what my mom says. My parents don't love me. It's time to show everyone my sad eyes."

Rhaenyra and Alicent's "friendship" is just 🤮. What the hell is friendship? From the very beginning, show!Alicent was jealous of show!Rhaenyra's position and status and her relationship with her parents. The real Rhaenyra would never have noticed someone like Alicent, let alone befriend her. Both girls had different upbringings, interests and worldviews. What common topics of communication did they have?

What kind of love are we talking about between Show!Viserys and Show!Rhaenyra? For half the season, all Show!Viserys did was just yell at his daughter and not listen to her, and for the second he looked like the walking dead.

How the writers couldn't come up with anything better than stealing some of Rhaenyra's things. Like her signature black dress, a forced marriage to a man who didn't care about Rhaenyra. Did you notice show!Rhaenyra's dresses and hairstyles? The book literally had a description of how Rhaenyra dressed and what hairstyle she preferred, but the writers apparently read the book from Wikipedia and skipped every second word.

I showed my friend, who hasn't watched the show and doesn't know anything about GOT or HOTD, photos of young show!Rhaenyra and show!Alicent from the series and asked what she thought. Do you know what the answer was? My friend decided that show!Alicent was a princess and show!Rhaenyra was a servant.

Just look at the banners they made for the second season. The green banner is really nice, but the black banner looks like a cheap towel.

What about the blacks on the show? How stupid must a girl be, who grew up in a world in which the main purpose of a woman is marriage and the birth of an heir, and who is the heir to the throne, to think that she can avoid marriage? The real Viserys didn't give Rhaenyra a choice and chose her husband himself, but did show!Rhaenyra really think she could avoid marriage? Show!Raenyra is the height of stupidity and absurdity, which constantly contradicts itself.

And Daemon? I really feel sorry for Matt. He is a talented actor and tries very hard. I think if the show had more skilled writers, he could have portrayed the real Daemon. But show!Daemon is a stupid, illogical, absurd clown who doesn’t understand what he wants and doesn’t follow through. This character has so many fans solely because of Matt's charisma, the writers should kiss his feet for that.

And of course, my favorite. There's only been one season out, but the writers have already demonstrated their style of throwing aside logic for the sake of effect. I mean, show!Laena's self-immolation and the way show!Rhaenys ruined show!Aegon's coronation. Do you know what the people who work on the show said in interviews? They added these scenes because they thought it would be cooler and more impressive. Wasn’t the creators of GOT guided by a similar point of view when working on the plot of the last seasons of the show?

And now, because of this show, a lot of people have come out of nowhere to argue that women should not hold leadership positions, remain silent and accept neglect because it is necessary, and rapists and aggressors can be forgiven if they are played by beautiful actors or if the characters lacked parental support love. According to this logic, people should love Joffrey and Ramsay since they both also lacked parental love in childhood.

This show really had potential and a good cast. But the screenwriters' work destroyed everything from the very beginning. Many people still have hopes that everything will be better in the second season, but I am in despair. No, seriously, look at the team banners for season two. They really did a good job on the green banner and that would be fine if the black banner wasn’t yet another proof of the writers’ bias. Black team, we have no hope.

[dlartistanon]

Oh man cis anti bros ruined Arknights for me. I tried it out because I also liked another gacha (path to nowhere) which has a huge WLW fandom, way bigger than the dudes. So wishing for more of that I tried arknights.

The Arknights fandom is not girl friendly imho.

The doctor is supposed to be a gender neutral short person with according to some media long hair and according to the anime a female/gender neutral voice.

But the fandom made it a tall buff dude that’s going to repopulate all kinds of different species with their many waifus and ignoring character-character relationships.

Sorry for my rant, but boi was a seriously disappointed when I found that out.

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't play PTN, but I have friends who do, and one of the things they said about it really stuck with me, regarding how both player characters are written (Chief and Doctor).

According to them, Chief has more of an actual defined personality compared to Doctor. Chief is their own character within the setting. While Chief is established, Doctor is in this weird nebulous gray zone of being half-established and half-self-insert. And that is honestly one of the most frustrating things about AK's writing.

On one hand, I like the canonical lore of Doctor: their parental relationship with Amiya, their awkward, sometimes hostile dynamic with Kal'tsit, their lingering feelings of depression and detachment surrounding their amnesia, their implied autism, their gender neutrality, they're physically weak (easily winded going up/down the stairs), sensitive to sunlight, their observational skills, their fondness towards physical contact, their extremely negative reaction towards child soldiers, their academic background in neurology/history... they're a weirdo who pours hot water directly into their mouth.

But all that ends up being half-baked when the devs say that Doctor is meant to represent the player. And I just don't like that. It's a giant reminder of self-insertion, but again, incredibly weird when they have all this lore/characterization?

Look at this image:

This concept is speculated to be a somewhat of a "canon" design for Doctor. Quite feminine-looking, wouldn't you say so? Interestingly enough, no similar art of a "male" Doctor design has surfaced anywhere to my knowledge. The closest is in the art book but their face is covered in shadow and their hairstyle is a lot like Thorns'. The anime adaptation Prelude to Dawn adds to the mix by making Doctor 165 cm tall, with white hair, pale eyes, and an androgynous voice (by a female VA).

All of this ends up making the claim that Doctor is a self-insert very wishy-washy. You can't really claim Doctor as canonically nonbinary if the player chooses to see/interpret them as male or female. Because they're a self-insert. But are they really? By giving Doctor more lore/characterization, how can the claim of them being a self-insert hold up? It doesn't make sense.

It's incredibly frustrating how HG wants to have both cakes, but it doesn't work. So the result ends up feeling incredibly half-baked, fumbling both sides. At this point, there's no real and true illusion of player insertion.

It just annoys me the more I think about it. I don't want Doctor to be any % self-insert. I want them to be an actual established character.

But I apologize for going off on my own tangent. I absolutely hate how the Doctor is largely portrayed in fandom too. The automatic default to reading them as male (people can claim "gender neutral", but a lot of the time the actual portrayal/writing really comes off like a cis dude). The mischaracterization and overall gross treatment of complex female characters who have layered and nuanced relationships with other female characters. You're not alone there. I think it's amazing how the PtN fandom has more Female Chief than Male, and how much more popular WLW is. You're lucky.

[astrum-aetherium]

Henry's been living rent free in my head since I read TSH like four months ago- I cannot stop thinking about him and your blog is single handedly fueling my obsession with him so thank you so much really.

Anyways- I know Henry is definitely not the soft type of guy, but I do believe he could get just a tiny little bit softer than he usually is (sparingly) were he to find a person he really liked?? This is probably just my guilty and mostly out of character pleasure, but imagining him being all cold and harsh as he is for the most part and then suddenly doing or saying that one unexpectedly tender thing out of nowhere (even in a nsfw context, that's even better) and then going back to his usual self in a heartbeat makes me go uughhh

i wholeheartedly agree with you. on so many levels. it's very easy to cross the utterly restrictive OOC boundaries when speaking/writing about him, since all we seem to know is how stoic and cool and constantly displeased he is (although i could impugn this very well — take the glass shard scene or his staying at the hospital with richard as an example).

us as readers, we cannot help but crave a little softness from him sometimes, and i understand that completely. i'm always willing to indulge us all in a scenario like that. in a better world, on slightly OOC premises, he would make an evidently detached, but caring partner. coincidentally, i have been thinking about just that for the past couple of days, despite formerly being convinced it would be entirely impossible to conduct a healthy relationship with that man (which, yeah, if we strictly stick to canon, it still would be, but that's the beauty about fiction — we get to brush past and alter some things to our enjoyment).

therefore, yes — with the opportunity to alter his character just a tiny bit, i believe he would let his soft side flash every now and again. i don't think it would be in any form of physical touch, however, as he certainly isn't one to put his feelings on display, especially in public (in private, however, that'd be a completely different story). it would mostly be symbolic with him. for instance, imagine it being your birthday. as your partner, he would know you inside and out — he is highly attentive and perceptive, especially when it comes to those closest to him, and he would absolutely be well-versed in anything that you might like, or mention liking. he would know. loving is knowing. therefore, for your birthday, he would not only think of and buy you the best and most thoughtful present imaginable, but he would also buy five more to give to the rest of the group under the pretense of "i know her/him/them better than all of you combined, which is why all of your gifts have already been taken care of".

that is how his affection would shine through — acts of service. being spoiled by him is another tremendous part of that. i have already approached this topic in two previous posts, but to summarize: he absolutely would be willing to spoil you in any way imaginable, as it would be the only plausible way for him to prove the depth of his feelings for you (along with kisses and other physical endeavors, which would exclusively be saved for private settings).

in addition, i feel like he would let himself be swayed more and more despite his dogmatic position, meaning he would be willing to comply or enter compromises, especially for you. orrr... to approach the aspect of him portraying the merest smidge of sweetness and immediately reverting to his stoic self — imagine a strand of hair having fallen loose from your hairstyle, or it simply veiling your hair too much, to the point where he would press the book he might be holding under his arm mid-conversation and brush it aside for you with a light smile, only to immediately proceed with whatever it is he had been occupied by previously.

from a nsfw standpoint, his care would mostly show in his being very forthcoming and reassuring to you (asking for consent, asking if you're in any discomfort during a position, checking up on you during rougher activity), and aftercare (bringing you towels/water/a cigarette (lol), proposing to go pee, holding you on occasion if matters had been overly rough and you might still be trembling).

he would also totally be the type to run his fingers through your hair and even play with it. i don't care how OOC some people believe this to be — i need it. sometimes a girl just needs something of the sort.

[littlelostthings]

Six's Name, Cici's origin and the Raincoat explained (Theory)

Throughout the stories told in Little Nightmares, we see constant references to the raincoat we see Six wearing the raincoat throughout the first two main games, and RCG (Raincoat Girl) wearing it in VLN (Very Little Nightmares)

However, we actually know the raincoat originally belonged to and was brought into the Nowhere by a character called "Cici", short for Cecilia. This name has two meanings, however one is most likely not an official or standard meaning, the first being "Blind to ones own beauty." The other is "Sixth", however I actually can't find any proof of this meaning aside from a random website claiming this, however the standing meaning for Cici is "Blind to one's own beauty". I promise this has relevance later on, so bare with me!! So far, we have three characters who have worn the raincoat, Six, Cici and RCG. We also learnt there are three other children, who's portraits are found on the Maw, however their faces have been painted over with an ugly mask.

Now we have one more raincoat painting, one of a girl which is found specifically inside the Lady's quarters, her eyes scratched out, as well as another of the same girl, this time her hair longer and her raincoat missing. It's obvious this girl has a close connection to the Lady due to her painting inside the Lady's personal bedroom.

So who is this girl? Well I think this is Cici! Let me explain; as mentioned previously Cici means "blind to one's beauty", and so is the Lady, who despite being the most normal and beautiful looking adult person on the Maw, her reflection shows her as old and wrinkled. It's important to note her in-game model shows her real face, which is definitely not the face we see in the reflection.

So the Lady is obviously blind to her beauty, as well as Cici, pointing to them actually being the same character. However, you might be wondering how these two are the same character when a painting depicts them in the same painting together? My answer is that the Lady in the painting is not the same Lady we see in-game, but the previous Lady, as we know there have been multiple Lady's throughout the Maw's life cycle (wearing the same robes and perhaps having similar hairstyles.)

So this gives us our six raincoat wearing characters, 3 who are unknown aside from paintings and 3 who are. Essentially, I believe Six's name refers to her being the sixth child to wear the raincoat! One is Cici, Two, Three and Four, are the children we see in the paintings, Five is RCG and Six is of course Six!

That wraps up my theory, however if you have any questions or notes feel free to drop them :D

[accirax]

Charles Tawaki: a DRDT Crack Theory

(Spoilers through DRDT Chapter 2 Part 1. Also for Star Wars Episodes 4 and 5, somehow???)

So… I know this sounds crazy (it is), but hear me out, okay?

After rewatching all of DRDT for a second time (as you do), I was left puzzled by Teruko’s final conversation with Veronika before the Chapter 2 motive reveal/body discovery. Y’know, the one about prosopagnosia.

Because, under my current understanding of the case, Teruko’s possible face blindness is completely irrelevant.

Now, I know my comprehension of the crime is nowhere near perfect, and that many popular theories include a culprit either dressing up as or swapping places with Arei. The person who makes the most sense for this is obviously J. She’s the same height as Arei, they’re both girls, and they have similar eye and skin colors. Additionally, J has one extra advantage that no one else does: her talent. J is the Ultimate Effects Artist, specializing in practical theater effects as opposed to digital post production.

Out of everyone in this cast, if someone was going to disguise themselves as Arei, J would have the best chance at being able to use makeup to disguise her face. Maybe her history with actors would even give her a better shot at acting like Arei, if worse comes to worse.

However, there’s a major problem with this premise at its base: even if Teruko is face blind, not everyone in the cast is. If Veronika can see the similarities between Teruko and the actress, wouldn’t she also be able to tell the differences between J and Arei? Moot point, Veronika could notice and still choose to conceal that because it would make the trial more interesting. But, Whit is still a pretty observant guy when he wants to be. Arturo has a particular eye for people’s faces, and has spent a lot of time with J specifically. Rose has a photographic memory. While it’s possible that Teruko wouldn’t be able to see through a disguised killer, between the twelve-or-so other innocent students in the rest of the case, it feels like it would be impossible for the killer to actually get away with dressing up as Arei for any meaningful amount of time, or in front of a meaningful group of people.

But this conversation with Veronika is so suspicious!!! The fact that DRDT’s creator chose to give Teruko prosopagnosia, or at the very least to suggest it, means that it has to be relevant to the story in some way, right? That’s, like, mystery writing 101.

So, I have an alternate theory as to how it could come up: if Teruko has failed to notice that her long-lost missing brother is amongst this cast.

And, that that brother was someone who was present for this very conversation: Charles.

Sound unbelievable? Well then, let me start off with some of my best evidence to get you more on board. That being, their character designs.

Charles and Teruko have pretty similar faces, all things considered. Their eyes are both pretty narrow, and upturned at the end. They also have really similar hairstyles: two bang spikes in the middle, with two longer pieces framing the face. The side opposite their long ponytail has a tuft of hair overlapping the side of the hanging piece, while the other side is more plain. Charles and Teruko also have really similar skin tones, with Teruko’s skin only being slightly redder and darker than Charles’.

Obviously, the two of them have different eye and hair colors. However, as Veronika already pointed out, that doesn’t matter:

(Teruko brings up skin color too, but it’s treated as secondary to eye and hair color.)

Inadvertently, Veronika is telling us that if two people have different eye and hair colors, they can still look similar as long as they have other similarities. Thus, while having different coloration can throw us off the scent, Charles and Teruko can still look similar, and remind us of the other.

Speaking of which, the personality similarities between Charles and Teruko have been highlighted in the story multiple times before. The most obvious one in my memory occurs at the end of the scene where Charles entrusts Teruko with the secret he received, right before Teruko decides to use a Monocredit to get rid of him.

Here, he calls Teruko out for her hypocrisy, directly pointing out that Teruko holds the same apathetic attitude that he displayed in Chapter 1. Beyond that, I think it goes without saying that both Charles and Teruko have displayed some majorly antagonistic qualities throughout the story. Both are intelligent, guarded, and a little sassy. When they banter, they’re able to trade similar insults.

Also, they both have a particular fondness for cacti.

Obviously, siblings do not need to have the same personality, especially if they didn’t even grow up together. I bring this up more to say that these are ways in which the author is intentionally drawing parallels between Teruko and Charles, showing us that they are similar and connecting them in our minds.

Now, let’s take a look at what we know of their backstories. As previously shown, Teruko was an orphan who lived at an orphanage with her brother. When she was five, her brother was adopted, and she was not. She had a pretty rough life after that, with “no family to speak of” while sneaking into schools to get an education, forced to choose between food and rent. Very unlucky, but not particularly relevant to this theory.

Charles’ life, on the other hand, seemed a lot easier.

Charles claims that both of his parents are alive. Additionally, while I don’t think it’s been confirmed, the fact that Charles doesn’t know how to cook or do his own laundry implies that either his parents are very caring and attentive to his needs, or he comes from a rich enough family that they have some sort of housekeeper to take care of their chores. My money is on the latter based on Charles’ overall demeanor, but that’s just speculation.

However, anyone who’s read Charles’ secret knows that his past wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

While Charles believed he had no siblings, in truth, he actually had a brother who died when he was young. Many characters, including Charles himself, also connect his forgotten past to his fear of blood and dead bodies. That means that whatever happened to his brother, it wasn’t pretty.

So, that’s great, right? Another similarity between Charles and Teruko: both of them have a brother! Except, really that’s more of a problem than anything. If Charles and Teruko are siblings, then Teruko should remember having two brothers, and Charles should believe he has a sister. However, there is a way to get out of this.

Here’s my proposed theory for Charles and Teruko’s intertwined backstories. Charles and Teruko Tawaki are born to the same parents, likely as twins, given that they appear to be in the same year in school. While it’s a little odd that Teruko only said she had a brother as opposed to a twin brother, it’s possible she doesn’t remember the details herself, as she doesn’t cite the brother as older or younger, either. Anyways, at some point, their parents die, and the two of them are sent to the orphanage.

Then, when Charles and Teruko are five, Charles is adopted by the Cuevas family– a mom, a dad, and an older brother. I can’t speculate as to exactly why the family would adopt only Charles and not Teruko, but considering that Teruko getting left behind is a canonical plot point no matter who her brother is, clearly the author believes it’s possible. Once Charles is adopted into the family, tragedy strikes, and his new older brother dies in a terribly bloody accident. This event forges Charles’ phobia of blood and bodies. And, in a desperate attempt to save itself, his brain wipes his memory of his older brother… as well as his adoption and his twin sister, too.

Even if Teruko seeing a dead body happened after she left the orphanage, it’s clear that her past was pretty bleak. Having your parents die and being sent to an orphanage at such a young age must have been a traumatic event. So, if Charles was already in the process of developing childhood amnesia about the trauma of his brother’s death, I think it’s possible that his brain could have decided to shut out the trauma of being adopted, too. It’s childhood amnesia. Obviously he didn’t forget enough of his childhood to concern him or tip himself off that something was wrong, but who has super crisp memories from age 5 or prior anyways? And, if Mr. and Mrs. Cuevas simply hadn’t chosen to tell their son that he was actually adopted (possibly for fear of triggering him by reminding him of his adopted older brother), Charles could grow up thinking he had an exceptionally normal childhood.

Thus, while it requires a bit of creative interpretation, I think it’s possible for Charles and Teruko’s backstories to fit together. And, once you clear Charles’ brother dying, the two of them never saw each other again until the killing game began, so anything that happens afterward can still fit under the siblings theory.

This includes their secrets, as well. While we don’t know Teruko’s secret, I’ve gone on the record saying that I believe that hers is “How could I even select what secret to make your motive? Just about everything you’ve done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault”. This secret isn’t specific to one event, so Charles being her secret brother would still totally fit. It’s a little weird for Charles that they wouldn’t roll the other half of his forgotten siblings into the secret. But if they wanted to limit it to one secret per person for the sake of fairness (for instance, not having Whit’s secret be that he omits the death of his mother AND that he’s bisexual), I could see them cutting it out.

And that’s not even operating under the theory that Teruko could be the mastermind. In that case, she could have A) chosen to not talk about that secret because it mentions herself and her past, or B) not known it herself, and therefore not have been able to make it Charles’ secret.

From a meta writing perspective, I don’t know how the creator would tell us that Teruko and Charles are twins now that the secrets motive has passed, but I believe they could come up with something.

So, have I convinced you at all that it’s possible yet? I would hope at least slightly, if you’ve gotten to this point in the theory. Sadly, however, that means it’s time to discuss some of the… large potential holes in this theory that almost prevented me from writing it in the first place. Here we go.

Let’s go back to Charles and Teruko’s similar appearances, my “strongest point.” Well, Google tells me that the last name “Tawaki” is most commonly found in Japan, while “Cuevas” is Spanish in origin. Thus I, as well as likely many others, have assumed that Teruko is Japanese, and Charles is Hispanic. If Teruko and Charles are twins, that would mean that Charles’ ethnicity is actually Japanese, and he only gained the Hispanic last name “Cuevas” after being adopted by the Cuevas family. Through the magic of anime stylization, Charles and Teruko might look the same to us. But, in reality, if Charles was the only Asian looking member of a Hispanic family, wouldn’t it be pretty easy for him to realize/remember he was adopted?

While it’s a bit of an uninformed cop out, I did come up with a solution. If Charles and Teruko are both mixed race, specifically Asian/Hispanic, it’s possible nobody could have remembered. Charles could have been born a Tawaki, taking his Japanese parent’s last name, but when he was adopted, his Hispanic heritage amongst his new fully Hispanic family caused him to forget his Japanese roots. Like any child, some mixed race people look more like one parent (or therefore, one parent’s race) than the other. For example, as a mixed race person, I believe this is true of myself. I also think this is true of Whit, who appears to be Asian and white, but passes more as a white person.

(Obviously, it’s a little hard to tell exactly how white passing Whit is when he dyes his hair and we live in multicolored anime land, but the point stands.) So, this theory could be especially viable if Charles happened to look more like his Hispanic parent, while Teruko looked more like her Japanese parent.

Additionally, this could be a bold (mis?)characterization of the Cuevas family, but it is an explanation of why Charles could have been adopted while Teruko was not. If the Cuevas family was Hispanic, they may have wanted a child that “looked more like them,” so they only took the more Hispanic looking kid of the pair. If true, that would also potentially be another reason why Charles’ parents wouldn’t tell him he’s adopted.

For what it’s worth, I also do think Teruko is an American. While she was initially wearing a Japanese school uniform, and MonoTV confirmed she’s been to Japan, the fact that she “hasn’t been in years” makes me think that she currently lives in the US, where it really seems like the series is based. It would make sense if she now resides in the country in which she was born, and she’s never mentioned being a foreigner. She also speaks perfect English with no accent, which implies that she grew up in an English speaking country. If Charles is Teruko’s twin, and Teruko was born as an American, it would make it much easier for Charles to wind up in the United States.

Again, I don’t love this point, as it is extremely speculatory (what about this theory isn’t), but it is an answer. If Mr. Ultimate Chemist could take a DNA test for me real quick, that would be extremely helpful.

Point of contention #2: the existence of Charuko.

Speaking of which, please please please do not let this stupid theory stop you from shipping Charuko. There’s a 99.9% chance it is not true.

Anyways, Charuko is a big problem for this theory, given that I doubt the creator wants to incorporate incest into their story. While it obviously isn’t canon, Charuko is a decently popular ship, and that’s likely because of how their relationship is presented in the story. What was previously cited as sibling-like banter could easily be read as flirtatious teasing, and their similarities could be showing how compatible they are. But obviously, it could be totally platonic as well!

…Okay this is kind of a problem.

Even as more of a CharWhit enjoyer myself, I can’t deny that this is a particularly shippy moment. If you don’t recall, in this part of this scene Charles details how he likes talking to Teruko because she’s never pitied him, blushing all the while. The biggest blow to the theory is the sprite choice in this particular scene.

He has a version of this sprite with no blush. And yet, the creator chose to use the blushing version.

Now it is true that blushing can just be a sign of being flustered, which Charles often is. He could be embarrassed by merely complimenting Teruko at all, especially to her face. However, as any Owl House fan could tell you, blushing is often used as a shorthand for one character experiencing attraction to another. And, if Charles and Teruko are secretly siblings, I can’t understand why the creator would decide to imply the possibility that Charles could be crushing on Teruko. If the creator is a fan of… well, anything, they could probably expect that two of their most relevant characters have a possibility of being shipped together. They wouldn’t need to add any fuel to that fire– if anything, they would need to be throwing the firewood into the trash.

To be honest, I don’t really have much of a defense for this one. More than anything, this is what convinces me that this theory couldn’t be true. Really, all I can come up with is another example of something like this happening before, point at it, and say “if it happened there, it could happen here too.”

Said example is found in Star Wars, with Luke and Leia. At the end of the first movie, they kiss, but in the second movie, they learn that they’re actually twins, and cease romantic relations. Especially if this theory is true, I doubt Teruko and Charles would get to the point of sharing a kiss, but it would be a similar plotline to Star Wars.

Of course, I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan, but I’m pretty sure that when George Lucas wrote the first movie (in which Luke and Leia kiss), he didn’t know at the time that the characters were siblings. Meanwhile, if Charles and Teruko are twins, I would have to assume that it was in the creator’s plans the whole time, similar to Charles’ phobia of blood.

On that note of confidence, the final issue I could come up with: so what?

You’ve just spent 2.8k words+ trying to convince me that Charles and Teruko are siblings. Who cares? What does that actually have to do for the story? How would it ever become relevant?

Good points. Truly, I struggled with this myself. Like many others, I fear that Charles will die in Chapter 3 (after all, he was already pronounced dead at that time). And, given all the other drama that’s already going on with the other characters, and all the additional drama that the end of the second trial may cause, I wasn’t sure that a Charles/Teruko sibling reveal could really fit in that time. Even if Charles makes it past Chapter 3, I wasn’t sure how or why it would make sense for the story. But I did come up with a couple of ideas.

First of all, it could give Teruko another character to trust.

Charles is probably already the character that Teruko trusts the most (yes, even despite the above knife), but if she learned that he was her brother, she might feel even more connected to him. Or, she could pull a classic Teruko, and back even farther away from him in fear that she would come to trust him. At the very least, it would give Teruko an interesting dilemma. It would be interesting for Charles, too– he just learned he had a sibling that he lost, so how would he feel if he had a second sibling who was trapped in this killing game with him?

If Charles dies as an innocent victim, too, Teruko would have to face the loss of another person who’s important to her, but in a situation where he did absolutely nothing to betray her. This could happen even if Charles isn’t her brother, too, but I digress.

Secondly, it could force Teruko to talk about her past.

Given this scene, we know that there are aspects of Teruko’s past that she’s hiding from us, the audience inside her head. And, if she’s not telling us, then she definitely doesn’t want to tell other people.

But if Charles somehow learns that Teruko is his twin sister from a past he has no recollection of, after just receiving his dead brother secret, he would almost certainly want to start pressing her for answers. Although Teruko puts up a tough front, she has had moments of breaking down and showing “weakness” in the face of things that catch her off guard. It’s possible that if Charles genuinely came to her seeking answers about his own life, she would feel obligated to at least tell him something. And in that something, we could find some info relevant to the plot at large.

That is, if she actually knows anything about the situation. If she doesn’t and, say, MonoTV is the one who had to tell them about their siblinghood, part of Teruko’s backstory could also be rolled into the way that MonoTV would tell them that fact. That could be interesting, too, if Charles alone is privy to extra information about Teruko’s life beyond what happened when she was 5.

And, that’s about all that I have to say. As I’ve hinted at throughout this theory, despite being the one who came up with it, I really have my doubts that this theory is true. However, with the apparent lack of face blindness in this case, I can’t help but speculate as to how it could apply to something in the story in later chapters. I feel like I might be onto something, even if “Charles and Teruko secret siblings” isn’t it.

I would love to hear what anyone has to say to bust or support this theory, or if it inspires any other similar crack theories in its stead. Despair Time is a crazy enough series as is, so I wouldn’t be surprised if one of our shots in the dark makes it close to a target.

[emersonfreepress]

Stuff I firmly decided yes on in 2022:

A choice between American and immigrant parents!! It's doable, it doesn't mess up the story, and will be very fun to write. It also increases the emotional stakes of not getting arrested and succeeding in life, amirite fellow immigrants 😭

less hairstyle options in Chapter 3 😅 revising that scene I realized there were like 4 ponytail types. as amazingly 90s as the original list was, there is such a thing as overkill!

one more demeanor trait 😖 Playful vs. Serious! I have a natural tendency to write jokes and humorous replies, but keep having to delete things or give them to other characters because it could be out of character for New Kid. No longer a problem!

💞 2 poly romances for Book 2! 💞 They just make sense and are honestly unavoidable 😅

refunding those short story commissions 😑 I'm really embarrassed and ashamed of myself, but for reasons that are entirely my own fault or personal problems to deal with, I am far past the point of feeling it's fair to hold on to the remaining commissioners' money. Both of the last stories are nearly finished, but they've been in that state for so long it's absurd. They will be published, but I am refunding folks because they can't be my priority anymore. The game is going nowhere because I've tried to force myself to finish two stories that I can't seem to concentrate on for the life of me. I won't be doing commissions again, I've learned my lesson now.

And I think those are all the things I decided on last year 🤔 That I can share anyway!

[typenull]

i’ve been thinking about interpersonal interaction a lot and i wanted to try to go over the conflict in this comic of del and casey and talk about it some. i made this when i needed to do a lot of work and it made me feel better :) i hope you like reading about my ocs psyches

C: Sooo. Uhm. Whenever you messaged me, was it because you thought I was like... actually sexually attractive? or-- D: [shocked] WWW- WHAT-Sort- What--? WHAT kind of question is some- some thing like that out of nowhere???

the issue with this conflict is that casey has already made up in her mind that del is sexually attracted to her or is only speaking to her Based upon that sexual attraction, and is not giving him the space or opportunity to refute this at all. this inherently makes the communication weighted to one side and leaves little room for actual conflict resolution despite that being casey’s intention. del as an outsider can only do so much. del (who is like basically autistic) is extremely taken aback by this sudden question, because the thought had not once even crossed his mind. they had not interacted with casey based on *any* part of her “persona” at all — del is interested in getting to know *casey* herself (and although she will be attracted to her both romantically and sexually later in the story, she isn’t self aware enough nor invested in life broader to view anything at this point through the lens of sex or romance).

del is extremely caught off guard, and since the proposition is so out of question for him, he wonders if casey is the one experiencing sexual attraction at the moment (the panel where she asks “…why?”). this makes casey nervous, taking this as del getting defensive, and she explains that the stakes of their relationship are higher now than when they met. del notices casey’s anxiety and thinks back to when they met, how he saw how she presented online, and realizes why the topic of sex would make her nervous about interacting with people she “met online” (they met in person, but their actual friendship was started by del messaging her).

in an attempt to help ease her worries, del sits down and begins to explain:

“i just remember, like, being more concerned that, that this was the chick who was apparently defr, defrauding me… you can’t blame me for being, being a little taken aback.”

what they meant by saying this was to remove sex from the equation altogether. del already recognized casey from seeing her come into his work, and casey’s hairstyle is definitely recognizable in their small town. del is trying to say “I wasn’t thinking about sex, I was more worried about the realization that a customer I knew was defrauding me, so I wouldn’t have even thought of that in the first place. You also can’t really blame me for being surprised that someone I barely knew had my credit card number.” she tries to play the last part off a little humorously, trying to ease the tension and help casey feel at ease.

unfortunately, because casey has already subconsciously “made up her mind” about del being interested in her, she massively projects her own fears and problems and completely misinterprets what del says here. casey interprets what he says as something along the lines of:

“no, i didn’t want to fuck you, i was just totally taken aback that i was being defrauded by a prostitute of all people! i mean, how could you blame me? lol”

what’s doubly unfortunate is that she interprets del playing off the last part humorously as not taking her nor their “accusation” seriously, like they “thought it wouldn’t hurt her”.

as you can see, casey has serious self esteem issues and a lot of internal shame about her sex work. she has grown used to people only talking to her for the sake of sex, and does not interact with other sex workers. as a result she has so much internalized shame that it often winds up externalizing in this way. she has a lot of work to do unwinding these thought patterns in her head over the course of the story, during which this takes place very early. this also has a wide overlap with internalized transmisogyny… the initial assumption that del must be sexually attracted to her does as well, even if it's subconscious. casey would react this way to anyone saying this to her in her current state, (i am not writing her to be an actual legit transmisogynist obviously) but it is much worse and very hurtful for her to be saying this to her transfem friend who has experienced systematic psychiatric abuse partially based upon her identity — which doesn’t cross her mind here. she’s hurt and lashing out at a perceived attack on her character, and while her *feelings* are real, she’s projecting a lot of deep unaddressed pain and learned aggression here. casey asking del “what kind of person did you think i was” instead of saying something like “what did you think i was, a prostitute???” is because she isn’t fully aware of these fears she’s projecting. all of her language in this comic, besides the first initial question (the hardest part is starting the conversation), is intended to be sort of vague and side steppy.

del is, rightfully, extremely taken aback by casey’s outburst here, given they were attempting to comfort her a moment ago. this type of behavior is triggering to del, and he responds by raising his voice even louder in response and calling casey a “thief”. del feels strongly about not acting “out of line” around most people, and would never usually voice something this judgmental (albeit just being the truth) to someone she met relatively recently - so this is meant to stick out. del is also overtly freaked out now, waving his hands as he talks at an attempt to get his cross, and his disorganized speech becoming far more noticeable. they put their head in their hands and groan, trying to explain what they meant (and interrupting casey) before their anxiety gets any worse.

del finds casey’s accusation towards her absolutely unbelievable, because del has extremely little sexual experience and does not, at this point, feel comfortable enough to consider herself a sexual person. in fact, del actually looks up to casey for being “brave enough” to put herself out there as openly as she does despite the possibility of being hurt, and for being able to do the things she does despite being younger than him. as they get closer, del will eventually learn that this is not necessarily a “good thing” for her the way del considers it at this point.

D: That’s absolutely not what I meant… D: Casey. C: [nervously]… Del. D: Have I even fffucking- asked you? For, for porn? C: Don’t just say- Eugghhh. Fuck, I mean… not… directly? That’s why I- D: NOT “DIRECTLY”!?

casey is disgusted at having del directly talk about her sex work, and she has to groan at the intrusive thoughts that flash through her head at this moment. instead of answering directly and just saying “no”, since casey is trying to reassure her own worries, she says “not directly”. this implication of del secretly trying to “convince” or drop hints to casey instead of just directly asking REALLY gets to del, who is a very blunt and to the point person. del has a long history of being accused of being a delusional, untruthful liar. they angrily yell her words back in disbelief. del is someone who usually pushes her anger extremely deep down as to avoid acting “out of line” or getting hurt, so she is getting uncharacteristically worked up here.

C: What? What! I don't- D: Do people not just a, ask for porn if they want to, ??? If they want it? C: [stifling laughter] Wha- Pff, I mean...? Fff... Usually? Like,sort of??? Why do you- D: Then why would I not, just- a- aaask you, Ugh, - Would I not have just ASKED you? Right, right then?

del continues into a rant which will continue on a continuous “snowball” pace until it reaches an explosive end — during which she really struggles with her disorganized thoughts and speech. in the middle of this casey laughs at del’s obvious inexperience when it comes to sexual interaction, not intending to be rude, but it’s meant to reflect back to earlier when casey took del’s laughter as inconsiderate. del doesn’t really care to point this out nor really mind at all, as he’s too busy trying to work on getting his point across to notice.

when del says “would i not have just asked you? right then?” it hits casey very hard, as she realizes that del has a point: if she was offering sex work, there was technically no “real” reason for del to try to get close to her personally if all he wanted was sex, especially given the fact they could see each other any time at del’s work. she pauses now and looks down guiltily. at this point she realizes to some degree that del really was just talking to her under the impression that she was a thief, and now she had not only stolen their money, but yelled at them, too. having this voiced out loud to her, she feels backed into a corner. she’s forced to realize she was in fact kind of acting like an asshole.

del has every right to be angry or upset with casey after this interaction, but he just stays next to her and still offers his support. this makes casey feel even more guilty, and she fidgets nervously as she apologizes for yelling. she can’t completely unpack all of the wrong things in this interaction yet, and she has a lot of growing to do.

likewise, del has to learn to be okay with speaking up about feelings she’s having and when she feels hurt. he also has to learn to understand that everyone else in the world is not “immune to pain” and is capable of being just as hurt as he is. finally, del will have to learn to be able to respond to triggering dialogue without reflecting it directly back to the person.

[notahorseindisguise]

"... to bugs"

last time a bee stung me was over 3 years ago. i laid down on the grass and accidentally crushed a bee with my left earlobe. she was just laying still there, and i, the big fumbling giant i am, accidentally put here into a dark, crushing situation, and she lashed out. she stung me on the ear, and she died because of it. it hurt me for 3 or 4 hours at most.

last time a human stung me was a month ago. we were sharing a family dinner, and my dad told me that the way i was sitting on my chair was impolite. i had my left foot up on the chair, the knee resting against my chest, and the other leg crossed between my foot and my body. this came out of nowhere, because i always sit like this, but my dad said it was impolite, and i didnt understand how. i asked him why it was impolite. he said you know why. i replied no i dont. he said i dont believe you and yes i do and stop lying and sit properly. i said dad im being serious i dont get how this is rude and he said something must be really wrong with your brain if you dont understand. i put my feet down and i ate my dinner in silence and i went to sleep early that night. i still think about that every time i sit that way in a chair. i think about how wrong my brain is.

last time an ant bit me was last year. i was at my grandmas house, where my cousins and i would have a yearly water bomb fight. running around, chucking water balloons at each other, at one point i squatted on the ground to avoid being seen, and didnt realise my toe was in a green ant colony. dozens of ants began climbing my foot, and i was desperately apologizing out loud and gently knocking them off so they wouldnt be hurt, but i didnt want them on me or else they would bite. someone heard me talking to the ants and threw a water balloon at me, which exploded on my face, and so i ran after them, to retaliate, not knowing i had left an ant on my foot, and had run away from its home with it, and so it bit me, to let me know. i dropped my balloon and i put the ant back at its home. that was the only bite i got from disrupting the whole colony. it stopped hurting about an hour later.

last time i was bit by a human was a week ago. id had a hard time recently, and was determined to make this day count, especially since i was home alone all day and had all the free time i wanted. i showered (which i normally am not motivated to do), brushed my teeth (which i normally am not motivated to do), shaved (which i normally am not motivated to do), ate (which i normally am not motivated to do), cleaned my room (which i normally am not motivated to do), cleaned the bathrooms (which i normally am not motivated to do), did the dishes (which i normally am not motivated to do), vaccuumed (which i normally am not motivated to do), and then pulled out my laptop to work on an assignment (which i normally am not motivated to do). at this stage in my long hard day, i was feeling very proud of myself (which i normally dont have a reason to do), when my mum came home, saw me on my laptop, and said of course you sat there all day and did nothing. all my pride vanished and i felt worthless (which i normally do), nodded my head, and closed all my schoolwork tabs. if thats all im thought to do, why shouldnt i do it.

the last time a bug hurt me in general was 2 weeks ago. a simple housefly was buzzing around and it accidentally flew into my mouth. i accidentally swallowed it. it became caught in my throat. i had a huge coughing and retching fit because of the obstruction, and i didnt feel better until the next day, when i had forgotten the feeling. but im sure the fly got the worse deal.

the last time a person hurt me was just the other day. i had done my hair in a different way which i thought was really cute. i showed it off to my siblings but before i could say anything they laughed at me and said i looked like an idiot. kt was all jokes. they thought i was joking about the hairstyle. i smiled and laughed with them. i went away and put my hair back and decided to never change it up again.

maybe if people were a little bit nicer i would treat them more like insects

[nysocboy]

Glamorous: Be as femme as you wanna be, especially when you are surrounded by mega-hunks

Glamorous, on Netflix: Make-up obsessed Marco gets a dream job at a glamour firm, starts a journey of self-discovery, and falls in love with a man. The episode descriptions use "he/him" pronouns, but Marco is played by  -- and based on the experiences of -- trans actress Miss Benny.  So maybe he'll be coming out as trans at some point.

Scene 1: Marco awakens.  He's a boy with a femme girl hairstyle and a room decorated with pictures of high-heel shoes.  Asking himself if "the struggle to be a grown-up is realer than real," he puts on his frilly pink gown and heads for the makeup table -- well, more like a makeup warehouse, puts on his face, and starts talking to his internet followers: "I am a makeup artist and beauty industry professional who works with all the major brands, including Glamorous by Madolyn."  Looks like he's already pretty self-discovered.

But in real life, he has a part-time job behind the make-up counter at a department store, he has minimal followers, and his Mom, whom he claims "helps with my content," could not be less interested. But does that stop the dynamo make-up artist?  Nope. "We're going places!"

Scene 2: Mom has called in some favors and enrolled Marco in a paralegal training program.  Do you need to call in favors for that?  Can't anyone enroll? "But Mom, I already have a job!"  "It doesn't pay anything.  You're 22 years old: start taking your life seriously, and start paying me rent!"   Settle, dude.  You know how many famous make-up artists there are out there?  

Scene 3: At the mall, Marco sees his idol, Madolyn, looking at a display of her own products. She explains that she's doing important research in her customers' buying habits.  It's not just about the make-up, dude.  "I'm a customer!"  "Ok, let's see what you got.  Give me a makeover."  

Marco goes to work, while criticizing his idol's make-up! Smooth move, dude. It's not selling.  Customers consider it safe and banal.  They want fantasy.  "When I do my makeup in the morning, I want magic!  I want to feel like a star!"  

Madolyn is mesmerized.  No one has criticized her for 20 years. "You have some important things to say about makeup.  Want a job?" 

Scene 4:  Marco going to work in a glass-and-steel skyscraper.  At least he gets to wear his high heels and a totally femme hairstyle.  The first assistant, Venetia, introduces him to Madolyn's son Chad (Zayne Phillips, top photo), who is in a meeting while running on a treadmill....with his shirt off....um, his muscles gleaming....um...does he need a personal assistant?  

"Is this the superstar Mom hired from the mall?" Chad asks. Superstar?  I thought he was just opinionated.  Then he criticized Marco for wearing heels: "I'm gay, but I'm not...gay."  The word you're looking for is "femme," as in the Grindr ads: "No femmes, no fats."

Next on the tour: Product Design, and another gay guy, Ben (Michael Hsu Rosen, left), who trips all over his tongue while trying ineptly to flirt.  "He gets like this when he's excited," his coworker explains.  "I don't get like anything when I'm excited, which I'm not," he stammers.  "But I could be."  Dude, are you talking about your penis?

Next up: Social Media Influencer Alyssa, and her assistant Nowhere, a 1960s hippie.  "I'm an influencer, too!" Marco exclaims.  "Yes, but you just have 1,000 followers, and half of them are bots."

Finally Madolyn's office, with all of her awards, magazine covers, mirrors, and make-up.  I'm getting flashbacks to Wilhemina Slater on Ugly Betty. except Madolyn seems much nicer.  Marco the Dope criticizes her again: "You seem very...comfortable!"  "I beg your pardon?  I take chances!  I'm cutting-edge!"

Scene 5: Marco telling his followers about his first week, sugar-coating the slapstick mishaps that we see in a montage.  The First Assistant Venetia discusses with her friend: "He's flopping like a Katy Perry single."  "Good -- then our jobs are secure. If he were doing a good job, we'd have to sabotage him."

Left: Michael Rosen's rear

Scene 6:Madolyn criticizing Super Hunk Chad's ideas for the new line.  "This is exactly what we send to Sephora every year.  We need to be bold -- take chances." 

Chad: "Or we could just sell the company to World-Famous Make-Up Company and be rich(er).  You could even stay on as Creative Director, and I could do something besides sell...ugh...makeup."  Chad's going to be the Big Bad.

More mega-hunks after the break

Scene 7: Marco has the job of picking up the super-important product prototypes and bringing them to the office for the Big Presentation.  He gets into the wrong Uber, and complains to the real passenger, a very muscular Straight Guy (Graham Parkhurst), who takes an Uber to the gym every day, about his various job mishaps.  Straight Guy consoles him.  

Whoops, he left the very important prototypes in the Uber.  There's no way to track them down, since he got in the wrong Uber. Wait -- wouldn't the Uber driver have turned them in at the company office?   Madolyn wants to forgive him, but Super-muscular Chad insists on firing him. 

Scene 8:  Ben, the coworker with the huge crush on Marco, talks to his friend: "Now that he's fired, I could ask him out, but I won't because it would be weird and creepy.  But just in case, do you have his number?"  This is definitely like Ugly Betty, where every straight guy working in an office full of supermodels fell instantly in love with the "ugly" girl.  Well, not Daniel, but they had a "will they or won't they" thing going on for several years.

Meanwhile, Mom tells Marco to fight to get his job back.  The Straight Guy probably picked up the prototypes.  You know what gym he goes to, and the time of day: go find him!  

Left: Straight Guy butt

Scene 9:  Pretending to be a rich white guy, Marco buys a gym membership, with the proviso that he can back out if he's dissatisfied.   Girl, high heels to the gym?  He pretends to work out forever, but Straight Guy never shows up, so he hits the locker room (actually, a lot of semi-private dressing rooms).  And there he is, dawdling at the mirror, wearing only a towel! 

Straight Guy gazes at Marco like he's a pork chop.  "I...um...left something in the Uber yesterday." "I've got something for you right here."  He fumbles with his towel.  Psych!  He's actually heading to his locker to retrieve the prototypes.

"And, by the way, I'm not straight. And here's my number. Bye."  He takes off his towel, flashes his butt, and heads for the showers. 

Scene 9:  Everyone stares as super-fired Marco marches through the office and into Madolyn's meeting to present the prototypes.  Chad scoffs, but Madolyn wants to hear his speech: "I'm not perfect.  I'm bad at math, the oldest movie I've seen is Titanic, and I don't know who Cher is.  But I can learn.  I can grow.  The question is, can you?"  He then criticizes the prototypes as garbage.  Madolyn is impressed; he's re-hired If you want him to advise you on make-up, hire him as a consultant, not a gopher. 

Chad scoffs.  "Curses! Foiled again!" 

Left: Nick Fink, who appears in the cast list but is not in this episodeScene 10:  His first job: fetching coffee and a Vogue for Madolyn and First Assistant Venetia.  Uh-oh, he's sharing an elevator with Ben, the guy with the major crush on him!  He fumbles and stutters until Marco takes pity and asks him out.  Ben melts in ecstasy, then catches himself: "Um..yeah, I guess that'd be cool.  Hit me up." 

Cut to First Assistant Venetia running into Chad in the bathroom.  Venetia is worried that he'll take her job, and Chad, that he'll tank the company with his newfangled ideas. They come up with a plan to "ruin that twink." The end.

Beefcake:  Chad and Parker (Straight Guy), plus a few gym hunks.

LGBTQ Characters: Marco, Chad, Parker, Ben, and -- well, just about everyone.

Femme: No one is bothered in the least by Marco's femme gender presentation.  In fact, it appears to be something of a turn-on to the more masculine-presenting guys. 

Make-Up:  There are a lot of "make-up is the most important thing in the world" manifestos, but we don't actually learn much about make-up.  Why is Madolyn's brand outdated?  What the heck is a gondola?  At least in Ugly Betty, we were told the difference between bad and good fashion.

My Grade: It's rather fun watching a boy be as femme as he wants to be with no kickback, and the hunks competing for his attention are stunning.  I'm just worried that the office-politics plotlines will be a bit old-fashioned.  A-

[spicydemonfox]

I wanted to keep it brief but lol, that didn’t happen. Time to get sappy, folks.

This isn’t the first one someone from a band I loved died. Nor is it the first time someone who used to be my favourite died under suspicious circumstances. But that doesn’t make it any easier to accept it.

One Direction was one of the most important things in my life at a certain point. I had little hope for their reunion, and I always knew we would never be able to recapture the magic that were those years between Up All Night and Midnight Memories. I always thought I had said goodbye to One Direction already, way before they broke up, even before Zayn left. But I never imagined I would be making a post like this, or even thinking about this, this early in our lives.

Liam used to be my favourite back in the day. He seemed sweet, mature, and genuine and that’s what I liked about him. He grew up into a different person, as we all do, and growing up in front of the whole world, under a microscope, clearly took a massive toll on him. It’s devastating to think how the system has failed him; how many people failed him, how many times he failed himself and others. These things weren’t supposed to be ‘solved’ like this. He should’ve faced repercussions for his actions. He should’ve gotten real help. He wasn’t supposed to go this way. But I don’t want to point fingers, blame people who aren’t to blame, focus on all the shitty things. I want to focus on the positive things I experienced because of One Direction, and hence because of Liam.

Me and my friend filmed this video twelve years ago in Köln, Germany. We went traveled Prague to Manheim the day before so we could get up at 1am to get the last train to Köln, get there in the morning and spend the day waiting to maybe have a chance to talk to One Direction. By some absolute miracle, we were among the couple hundred people (out of many more hundreds) who got those magical wristbands, and lo and behold, we were in front of them, the chance we never dared to seriously think about right in front of us. Out of sheer shock, we only talked to each other. We didn’t say a single word to them (beside “what?” “yes” and maybe “thanks”). But Liam pointed to a rubber duck on the table and said “It’s a duck in a car” to us. It’s audible in the video. But then, as if in a dream, it was over. A couple of high fives, handshakes and smiles, and off we went with our signed booklet of Up All Night. We spent the entire night after in Köln, by ourselves, on the streets, scared out of our wits, because we didn’t have a place to stay. It was an absolutely stupid idea, but it was an incredible trip, such a thrill, and something I will never forget in my life, not only because of 1D, but because the trip perfectly sums up our friendship.

One Direction helped me in one of the most loneliest times of my teenage years in ways I never expected. It wasn’t my kind of music, it wasn’t what I usually liked. I probably would have never listened to them if I was alone in it. But I wasn’t alone; I was in a train with my friend, and a dog who looked coked up, and that afternoon it all started. What One Direction gave me, gave us, was a connection. They gave us something to talk about, think about. They gave us sunny afternoons in the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere, singing, talking, listening. They gave us endless source of laughter, warmth, and ideas.

Sometimes we paid little tributes to 1D without others knowing. Clothes, accessories, hairstyles. Sometimes, we expressed our love for them obnoxiously, loudly. Often, we roped other people in to – our friends, our families, or even our unsuspecting classmates (we made them replicate the Talk Dirty to Me dance at our prom, without them knowing what it was referring to). We were two menaces obsessed with a boyband, and we weren’t ashamed of it, not one bit.

But sometimes, some ideas were just ours. And we took them and ran with them and wrote all of them down. We spent months, probably over a year, writing together. As shitty as it was, and as embarrassing as it is now, what we created will always be something I’ll love, not because of the content or the ideas, but because of the process. One or two chapters a week, or four chapters in a day, it was a stream of energy that kept me going. Waiting for someone to finish their chapter just so you could write some more. Sharing your thoughts with another person, no matter how stupid and cringy the ideas are. Giving someone else the control of where the story goes. Having something only we had, and others couldn’t get to. It was a form of intimacy we didn’t understand then, but I think I appreciate it a lot more now. It was magical, and I will always cherish it. 

We have millions of stories, memories, anecdotes, and jokes from that time. We have embarrassing photos, videos, (insane) memorabilia. We have something that makes up two books. We have something to laugh about, smile about, or even think about from time to time to make the days a little lighter. We have something to look back to when we need a pick me up. That time has shaped us a lot, whether we like it or not. We carry a part of it inside of us, always.

As we grew up, One Direction weren’t the alfa and omega of our lives, our paths separated and my friend and I drifted apart. It’s a natural part of life. I thought of it as such too, and I was content with it. But then something tragic happened and for a day or two, I thought she would be gone forever. I never told her this because her tragedy and grief was (and is) so much greater, unimaginable. But I was terrified for those two days. I hadn’t lost anyone important to me yet at that point, and the idea of it being my friend was not something I could approach in any way. I was in shock. I was devastated, scared and full of regret. Regret for being judgemental, for the complicated, shitty things that went on between us before, for losing touch, for letting my ego stand in the way. Despite not talking properly for a long time, or even qualifying for the term friends, I didn’t want to lose her. The bond we made when we were teens, the connection we had because of One Direction, was more than some petty, immature conflicts. I realized that in those two days and swore to myself that I would put it all aside if I my friend pulled through. She did. We got ‘a duck in a car’ matching tattoos later that year to commemorate everything One Direction represented and continues to represent to us. Connection.

The morning the news of Liam’s passing reached everyone, I was teaching a seminar. One of the students always comes early, and that morning, she asked me if I had heard. I had, I said. Now, I don’t tend to share much about myself with the students, but I saw she needed to talk to someone about it, so I told her that I used to like 1D, too. What followed was us exchanging stories about the times we were obsessed with them, the concerts we went to, photos, and all. I was really, really grateful to the student for bringing it up, and sharing what they meant to her with me. We’re a different generation and nationality, but that didn’t matter at the moment. That’s what One Direction keeps giving us. Connection.

I can’t imagine what Liam’s family and loved ones are going through. I can’t imagine what the boys must be feeling right now. I just hope they, and Liam, know what they made possible for a lot of people, and are aware of all the good they made in the world by connecting people.

My heart goes out to everyone affected.