#it's life. yes it's not PLEASANT for me OR for the people around me
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As much as Octavian hates the Greeks, his life feels like a massive tragedy, like the stupid sad stories of the ancient greeks themselves. Octavian reminds me of a great many villians. But for some reason, my brain is going to Judge Claude Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame. So i'm going to show you how an old lustful judge is the same as a young zealous augur. Their differences are many, but their similarities are fascinating.
Judge Claude Frollo is a zealous man. A man who fully believes in the good he does. He kills people (like the romani), he treats others like freaks, he's not a very pleasant man. But he thinks all his evil can be justified. He is a servant of his god. He is a noble man. It's not his fault. He was driven to madness by those around him, he claims. Esmeralda, that foul temptress, she ensnared his heart with a foul passion. And when she rejects him (primarily because he's a disturbing creep), he tries to burn down the city. His goals are despicable, but his motives are fascinating. He never once wavers in his faith. He finds scapegoats and targets, but he always sees his crusades as godly and righteous.
Octavian is much less creepy and perverted, but he shares that zeal. That same drive to prove his faithfulness. He diverges in one key way, however. Frollo falls into the curse of anger fueled by lust and passion. Octavian instead experiences a drive to bring glory to the Roman Empire. He wants to make Rome an empire again, with Camp Jupiter serving as the loyal legion of the new roman empire. He wants to give his gods what he thinks they deserve. Is he wildly off base in this goal? Yes. He kills hundreds in pursuit of a watered down imperialism.
But fundamentally, Octavian was well meaning. He banded together with psychopaths, murderers and thieves, but he did it in the hopes of bringing glory and honour to his people. His is a story of undeniable tragedy. Unlike Luke Castellan (whose goal to tear down Olympus and bring back the every man for himself world of the titans), Octavian had a goal which I can respect. I can acknowledge his methods were horrible. But I can't help feeling sadness, because I know he meant well.
#i know my comparisons are all mixed up#but this is something i thought of#and i just wanted to share it#octavian isn't a bad guy#he truly thought he was a hero#I...i feel so bad for him#I wish he wasn't killed off#octavian pjo#pjo octavian#octavian hoo#camp jupiter#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo toa#rick riordan#riordanverse#riordan universe#rrverse#pjo#hoo#pjo hoo#heros of olympus#hoo series
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*cough* the funny thing about logging on reddit sometimes is that you will get people who think it's absolutely autism that a man shits on someone's cake and then the same people on a vent post of an absolutely terrible autism parent would be like, supporting eugenics.
#same with borderline personality disorder#like both feed into the same perception#that individuals whose behavior you cannot tolerate MUST have something inannely wrong with them#and you can't say anything to their face about it but you hope they die and wish they werent born#which is insanely hurtful to hear#i know i will be a burden on my family and significant others for the rest of my life. but that doesn't mean i can't be talked to.#that doesn't mean that there arent days when i feel “normal��� or where i don't bother anyone#or that i don't deserve to live because i broke down in a supermarket bread isle a couple years ago because of a shopping cart#it's life. yes it's not PLEASANT for me OR for the people around me#but that doesn't mean you should have zero empathy#and wish all children with autism were aborted#that's not freedom#that's not right#and that's not an abortion argument only some people are making the argument that all autistic children should be given up which#makes no fucking sense and IS eugenics#also people on reddit nag on autistic men a lot because they tend to pass on the set of genes#and like fuck off#genuinely#people are ok with eugenics as long as it's someone they see as a bother#and that bothers me so deeply
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Networking/Knowing A Guy: A Guide
This is the autism website. Now, as an extension of the power of love and friendship, there are few things more useful than Knowing A Guy. Knowing A Guy means you have a support network. Knowing a plumber, or a tax accountant, or just that one dude that's really fucking good at finding the information you need when you're really overwhelmed, can be the difference between being able to pay rent and having a fun party with friends to fix your shit.
How does one end up Knowing A Guy? It's a skill you can develop called Networking and it is one of the foundations of society. Unfortunately making those connections with people is fucking hard and nobody makes a tutorial for it. So, here you go:
The golden rule is you scratch my back and I scratch yours
It is necessary for survival to seek out useful people
Great news! Everyone is useful in some form or fashion - including you! When given the opportunity to learn about someone, do it! Extroversion does not come naturally to some people and that's okay. Just take whatever falls in your lap.
Types of usefulness: trade skills, connections of their own, personality you jive with, pleasant to talk to, niche interest in shared hobby, security - the list is pretty much endless. I know a guy that lives in the metro area - no job, no major hobbies, inoffensively annoying to me personally, kinda ignorant, not attractive to me, but you know what? He knows how the fuck to get around the city by foot. My rural-raised ass APPRECIATES the guide.
Remember important information: general personality, background, skillset, likes and dislikes. You can find this information by making smalltalk about their life. There is no such thing as pointless conversation. (Yes, even the annoying smalltalk)
The more people you know, the higher the likelihood that one of them will be useful in a given situation - or will know someone who is.
It is overwhelming. In a given clique/community/workspace/whatever, there is A Guy Who Knows The Other Guys. This Guy is a shortcut. Find them. They're often elderly, extroverted, a little bit annoying, a secretary or in some otherwise forward-facing position. Look for people that are gossipy/talk about other people a lot but not in negative ways. If they constantly talk shit, they'll talk shit about you too. They're still useful but be careful with the information you share
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.
You do not have to like someone for them to be useful.*
If you have low self esteem, you're going to feel like you're using people. You're not. That's the devil talking. People like feeling valued and the connections you are making are the threads holding community together. Recognize people for their talents. It's only a problem when you're taking advantage of people
So: don't feel scummy about it. You're an animal. You have to claw out your right to survive and people will respect you more for it.
Luckily mutualism is the name of the game in the animal kingdom. Offer something back. The foundation of a Know A Guy relationship is Mutual Benefit
Sometimes that Mutual Benefit is just spreading news of the The Guy far and wide. My plumber friend is my actual friend and I love her to death, but I'm maintaining our backscratch relationship by pimping out her plumbing business to anyone that'll listen
Food is a good Mutual Benefit. People across cultures for all of human history have bonded over food. I have good success asking people for a favor and then offering to buy them lunch in return **
General compensation is also good. Offer a service in return and always do your best to offer financial compensation as appropriate. Having your plumber friend take a look at your drain: doable with a case of beer. Having your plumber friend redo the pipes in your entire house? You need to pay for that.
Being transactional is not necessarily a bad thing. I would advise against keeping an itemized list of things owed, but fish don't seek out cleaner shrimp just because they enjoy their company. Everyone gets something
Unfortunately being extroverted and generally personable is a huge benefit here, but that's the value of the Guy That Knows A Guy. There's someone out there that has consolidated All The Guys so you don't have to be the local expert. Always remember nobody can do everything and you don't need to master every skill
* This is the foundation of a functioning community. I have many acquaintances that I find incredibly annoying. They include doctors, welders, artists, social workers, lawyers, construction crew and random fuckers at the grocery store. I do not hang out with them. I do not have to in order to maintain a civil Know A Guy relationship. I can drop them useful tidbits and fuck right off so I don't have to spend any more time than necessary with them
** People may assume romantic intent. Be prepared for that. I generally denote that it's a friendly/work lunch by calling them bro at some point if they're my age. Otherwise my general demeanor is sufficient to show that I do this with everyone
Source: personal experience, mother's teachings of crime, booth vending and poverty
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I have been debating sharing this for some time, but with the new year weight loss ads amping up, I feel it's something I have to say. I'm worried for people's health.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you probably already know about people taking the diabetic drug ozempic for weight loss. You've probably heard the debates about the ethics of taking needed drugs away from diabetes patients and maybe even the side effect of "ozempic face." However, there is one side effect of taking these drugs that, in my opinion, people are not being warned about.
If you carefully pay attention to the television ads, you will hear them mention "pancreatitis" as a possible side effect. If you're like me a decade ago, that word probably means nothing to you. Let me warn you, however, it is no minor thing. My husband suffered from chronic pancreatitis for five agonizing years. The pain is beyond comprehension. Doctors who specialize in the pancreas describe it as the worst pain a human can endure. There is no actual cure. Little is understood about the disease, so treatment is difficult. Doctors who understand it are few and far between. It took my husband forever to get diagnosed. He went through multiple surgeries and procedures, but nothing worked. He had to go on an extremely limiting diet. If he varied from it in any way, he would have an attack. The only way to recover from an attack was to not eat at all for days, then slowly add in broth and jello. Did he lose weight? Yes. As a matter of fact, one day he stepped out of the shower, and I burst into tears at the sight of him. He was skin and bones - I could count every rib. Was it worth it to be thin? If you even ask that question, I'm concerned for your mental health.
They couldn't figure out exactly why my husband got pancreatitis. At that time, they thought only alcoholics and drug addicts got pancreatitis. This made it difficult to get compassionate medical care, unfortunately. Now they know that prescription medication (particularly diabetic medication) and high cholesterol can also cause it. Then there is another group - where they just don't know. But you better believe I would hesitate to take any medication that could cause pancreatitis. I would weigh my options carefully to assess if it was worth the risk. In my opinion, weight loss is not worth that risk.
My concern has been heightened seeing the Hers commercials for these drugs (under different names, but rest assured, it is the same thing). These commercials brag that you can get these drugs from Hers with just a simple virtual call, no questions asked. I wonder if people are fully aware of the risks of these drugs. I also wonder if we even know all of the risks yet. I also fear that the culture around these drugs could develop into an us vs. them mentality. That if it's so easy to be thin, why wouldn't you be? And some are getting dangerously thin on these drugs.
I know some diabetics who are on these drugs, and necessarily so. They tell me that it causes nausea when they eat. That's why they don't eat much. Again, that doesn't sound like a pleasant way to live. If you need it to regulate your blood sugar, that's one thing. But if you don't? Why would you do this to yourself?
My husband is now healed of pancreatitis. It was a miracle. You may not believe in that sort of thing, but I'm telling you, there is no other explanation. We had exhausted every medical solution, then the pandemic hit. We were concerned because hospitals were only taking life or death cases. What if he had a bad attack and needed an iv of pain meds? What would we do? Weeks passed - no pain. A month passed - no pain. Six weeks passed - no pain. He decided to grill a steak - something he hadn't been able to even take a nibble of in 5 years. I watched him take a bite, holding my breath. Nothing. He ate the whole thing. No pain. Five years later, still no pain. The doctors can't explain it, either.
So our story has a happy ending. Not everyone else's does. I hope people take the time to read this. If you do, please, please share it. I don't want anyone suffering needlessly.
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Yes, Im Back
Here it is you guys, this is going to be the clearest and most simple explanation I’ve done so far of manifestation and your identity as conciousness and what that means for experience & the world unfolding. Don’t worry if you’re new to this, this will help!
THIS IS A MASSIVE POST, TAKE YOUR TIME AND GRAB SOME WATER, YOUR ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE 😉🤭🤭
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So around 7 years ago I started stepping into the world of what people typically call manifestation. I went down the rabbit hole of Subliminals, Law of Attraction, Law of assumption, NonDuality and finally to where I am now, the unlabeled.
I want to preface by saying, I have been through an unimaginable amount of turmoil, and growth while on my journey to understanding reality and the way the world appears.
I’ve spent all of my time from back to when I first found out about this side of reality, to today while I’m writing this post, constantly looking at a multiplicity of teachings and teachers to figure it out, except until the very end. I really want you to know this because it’s very important to not brush this off as if it’s not possible for you, as if you have to adapt a technique or secret. This isn’t something that’s to be exhausting. With that being said, let’s move forward.
We all want things, we all have ideas of a life we hope to live, we want to fill it with all the experiences and specific details that match our taste. But this is actually, where the problem begins.
The way manifestation is taught is inherently wrong, I’ve fully stopped watching and consuming content that has anything to do with manifesting all together, because no matter what it is, Law of assumption, Law of attraction, all of the other ideologies that promise your desires, they all have a fundamental flaw, identity.
They usually all entail a similarity: methods, techniques, specific things you can do and ways you can act to make an outcome happen. All the while throwing in a random “because you’re the god of your reality”. And instead of focusing on the phrases that relate to the center of all of it, YOU, it’s simply just brushed past.
And not just the typical “your source”, “your operant power”, “you are the manifestation,
We get it but wtf does that actually mean, and why should you care??? Well, let’s get into this, because once you start from point A, everything else makes sense.
What all these teachings of the world get wrong is the idea that you can want things and desire, as source. Fundamentally this is a paradox, you can’t exist in desire and want if you are the source of reality. It’s not to say you aren’t, but it’s to say, you don’t ACTUALLY want and desire, but the illusion of being separate from the world is what makes you want and desire.
Let’s break the illusion.
Ask yourself this for me. “Am I aware”.
The answer will always be yes. Undeniably. And no matter how many times you repeat this, the answer is always yes, no matter a feeling, no matter a pleasant or unpleasant experience in the world, no matter any circumstance, you will always say yes.
Why is this so important to explore?
Because you are able to see from direct experience what source is.
When you asked yourself that question, did you notice something weird that happened? It’s almost like everything paused for a split second and your attention went somewhere to find the answer, and a response came from there. Look closer, ask yourself the question again, and this time try to find where the answer is coming from.
You’ll find that it comes out of nowhere, and if you try to trace it as far back as you can, to even before you answer yes, there this empty space of knowing that the answer conjures in.
This is consciousness. This is you.
Whether you name it consciousness/awarness or knowing, it doesn’t matter, it’s all interchangeable. But the important thing to note is, this thing doesn’t ever go anywhere. That is your true identity, the starting point of all ideas, the starting point to anything that can possibly be known. Every decision is from here, every expression comes from here, everything leads back to knowing. When there is emotion, it is known, when there is idea, it is known.
You being able to know that you are aware comes from this. This is the unseeable, the thing that can’t be perceived in any way, this is origin, its source, and its you. Take a shot at it, try to see what knowing looks like, its weight, its shape, its color, its dimensions, what its favorite color is, what it doesn’t like or does like. You’ll be left with nothing, as in no descriptions, but definitely knowing that there is a presence there that never goes away. Now try finding its name, its age, its skin color, its voice. You cant, and yet, from this very nothingness comes your undeniable answer that you exist and you are aware of your existence.
You don’t need and feelings to know, you dont need sight, sound, and sense of perception, you don’t even need to acknowledge the body in any way, but you know you “are”.
At some point when there were no worlds and universes, there was an unseeable, dimensionless plane from what everything came from, does this sound familiar? Before there were things, there was no-thing, a presence yes, but no objects. And from this, reality was expressed, but source can’t go away, the fundamental key to everything there is today, has to remain, or else everything else would not exist.
Concouisness is what you are. And it IS the origin.
Now how tf do you live you dream life???
By understanding that the world is also just an expression of source, conciousness/you.
I need you to understand something that I thing we can all agree on, if everything has one source, it would only make sense for everything to be the extension of that thing that gives it life. The world is no different, and trust me I know this without a reasonable doubt. I’ve spent closer to a decade trying to figure this out. Everything exists in/on the field of consciousness/you.
I need you to trust me, because no matter how far you have been in your journey and how tiring it might have been like it was for me, I promise you, this is worth it all.
Step away from the ideas of wanting and needing, put on your neutrality glasses and perceive the world as 2 simple things, conciousness and conscious expression. These are the only 2 things that drive experience itself.
Understanding that you are source, more things become clear. Where do all the stories of all the unfavorable problems in your life activate from? Where does the idea of good events activate from? Where is it that any form of knowing come from, you. Whether it’s about struggling with money, or about someone loving you, the story or ideas, conjure from you.
We already know that we are conciousness, but now let’s acknowledge the second mosy important part, reality begins at us, draw yourself into something that you don’t really like, something you’d like to change, now notice where it activates from.
From knowing. Knowing the idea or story is its creation
Now when we see it casually, as just another thougt about something the world is showing us we brush it off and move on with our day, until we have to face that thing, but, what if this was actually in reverse?
Because if everything is an expression of source, doesn’t that mean the world is too? It would have to be. Doesn’t that mean, anything registered by the senses has to abide by its source? And doesn’t that mean, that the world is not truly something of its own will?
The short answer is yes absolutely. And I can tell you, this is it. THIS WILL BE VERY F$&#*NG IMPORTANT.
Admitting to the idea that there is one source for everything is literally acknowledging that everything can only show up IN ACCORDANCE AND RESPECT TO WHATEVER ITS SOURCE IS.
THIS MEANS, the the world is a PROJECTION of source, IT DOES NOT STAND ALONE. It does not OPERATE ON ITS OWN.
The world is the projection of consciousness.
Following me??
Like a hologram, like a school projector QUITE LITERALLY a projection.
From us, an infinite array of stories and ideas come, and they only become activate or exist if we allow them to, if we give permission to this thing to exist.
That story that you’ve had about SP (Specific Person) or Money or Success, has always been activated by you. TELL ME WHERE ELSE IT STARTS. You can literally even prove this to yourself right now. WHERE DOES THE STORY BEGIN.
And because the world is just an expression/extension of its source (YOU) it is ONLY GOING TO BE WHAT SOURCE IS. Because it is source, just with senses and perception. It is coming face to face with what you are aware of.
The way the world shows and all of its details are projections of whatever you decide to activate. How do you activate something? BY KNOWING IT.
How do you know “red apple” ? By knowing it. That is the origin for this idea. And you can run this test for every single story you play on loop, find its source, it will always be you.
Now, for the important steps moving forward. Stop treating this like an on and off switch, truly stop caring about a feeling, stop letting yourself get so swayed out of understanding your identity as the source, do NOT give up this beautiful opprotunity just because it seems or feels different.
You’ve been taught for so long that the world has to be struggle, so that’s all you know, you’ve been told that things don’t always come easy, this is all you know, take the time, take the days and weeks you need to break out of this useless cycle of exhaustion and understand who you are as source
Do not double down on doubts, double down on the truth, regardless of how you feel, take your time to feel, take your time to be, but never allow yourself to slip back into the brainwashing of the world.
Moving forward you need to understand the world objectively, not with the ideas of wants and desire, but for what it is. Source can’t want, you turn it into desire by creating a sense of divide for yourself. You pretend the world is something to change, drop this. You pretend that the body is all you are, drop it, you pretend that there has to be more to this but knowing, DROPKICK this into the damn ground.
This all is very simple. Everything being the expression of source is only projecting what source (You) are. The world is a direct projection of conscious activity. Whatever is know is given permission to exist, it’s given life. It’s created. THIS. IS. IT.
Whether it be blue butterflies, getting a free coffee, or changing your eye color, it all is just knowing. And this isn’t something that turns off. This is reality, this is you. Start noticing the random things the world shows up as when you were just thinking about it the other day or a few hours ago. It is not a coincidence I assure you.
That friend you were thinking about calling you? Yeah.
That song you were thinking about suddenly popping up? Yeah
That “problem” you were thinking about suddenly reappearing? Yeah
It is all the same, yes it will take getting used to, but please understand me when I say this, it took me a painful amount of time and effort to finally see this as the truth, the amount of months I’ve spent isolating from content and other teachings allowed me to take ONLY personal experience, I tested it day in day out and this IS it.
Currently I expand my comfort on how seamless existing is, and I can assure you, if I can come to this conclusion, you 100% can because it has NOT been easy for me, and it almost didn’t want to accept it. But the moment I did, and kept seeing it to be true time and time again, I knew I had to go fully in.
You create the idea of wanting by doing this.
“I really want Sp to text me”
This is what you’ve given permission to exist, this is now activated, it now is conscious activity, and because the world is source projected with senses the world IS this.
You treat it like an absolute, but when it comes to something like this:
“Sp loves texting me”
You treat it as effort, and something to do and wait on. Now tell me, does that make sense? Does the idea of waiting, wanting, desiring, changing, even make sense with the knowledge you have up to this point? Nope.
You need to understand. The world is not a story, it’s projection, and it can only be projecting you. Stop turning to the world as if it can make statements, as if it’s feeding you ideas, when you’re the one activating them. You NEVER actually change the world, it’s you that activates a new idea. THATS IT. It exists because you know it. A feeling cannot stop you from knowing, the world cannot stop you from knowing, ONLY YOU can stop yourself from activating a story. A story can’t exist if it isn’t known.
So, don’t you think it’s about time you see past the illusion of wanting and see for yourself what you are?
Don’t you think it’s time, to wake up.
#blommp717#nonduality#manifestation#manifest#non dualism#law of assumption#master manifestor#nondualism#advaita vedanta#law of attraction#loa tumblr#manifestationcoach
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All of a Sudden, There You Are
3k. homelander x gn!reader. pining. pure fluff! an older fic that desperately needed cleaning up. rewritten for a consistent perspective and added 600-some words. gif credit. AO3 link.
As Homelander's stylist, it's your job to ensure he looks his best, whether he's saving the world or saving face in front of the cameras. After nearly a year servicing him, things between you change abruptly.
Familiarity and consistency feed a base need in all of us. So much of what is best in us is bound up in the permanence of those around us that it becomes the measure of our stability. For Homelander, there are precious few things in his life that offer him any such quality of solidarity. People come and go. It's the nature of the business that has always been his life.
He's stopped paying attention to the PA's, interns and other worker ants that rotate in and out. Their faces blend together in a bland sea of normality and mediocrity. They're little more than cogs in the machine of his contrastingly extraordinary life.
Funny, then, that you should catch his attention amidst the insectoid buzz of it all.
It happens quite abruptly. He's just sat down before a brightly lit vanity where it's your job to style his hair and makeup, as it has been for the last several months. You greet him good morning, as you do every time, but for whatever reason... He notices you today.
"Remind me, what's your name again?" Homelander asks, watching you draw a comb from your kit.
That visibly catches you off guard. You offer only a dumbfounded stare for a moment before snapping to attention, smiling sheepishly as you introduce yourself. The name doesn't sound familiar to him. Had he never actually asked? Probably not. There’s rarely a point in bothering.
He hums contemplatively. "You've been styling me for a while.”
"Yes, sir. About eight months now," you say, using the comb to begin working product through his hair. He’s fairly certain this is the most he's ever spoken to you in all that time.
That sounds like both a long while and yet no time at all. It's nothing in the grand scheme of his life, but in terms of the people he sees consistently, that puts you in a shockingly small pool of individuals. Inevitably they move on, whether by choice or because they’ve found a way to irritate him enough that he has them dismissed.
He can recall his last stylist not by their name or face, but by the way they’d always manage to spray product in his eyes. They hadn’t lasted two days. The one before that he can’t bring to mind a single detail of.
Typically humans only become exceptional to him for how they grate on his patience. You’ve somehow managed to avoid making yourself noteworthy in that regard. Before today you had served as little more than a properly functioning gear in the well-oiled machine of his life.
Now it's as though you suddenly exist to him. Blood, flesh, laughter and all.
"Gooood morning," he greets you the next day, once again triggering another flare of surprise in you. He’s aware of the strangeness of his initiation, but behaves as though he isn’t. He flashes you one of his trademark Hollywood grins.
"Good morning to you, sir," you say with an answering smile that catches his eye. You sound pleased, which tickles something pleasant in the back of his own mind. He likes how well you’re mirroring his shift in mannerism.
He waves his hand dismissively. "Please, Homelander is fine. You keep it awfully formal."
You're actually quite pretty, he notices. Not exceptionally so, not like the celebrities and figures of social influence that someone like him brushes shoulders with on a daily basis, but... pretty nonetheless. He doesn't remember you being this pretty before, and speculates while you work whether you've changed something about yourself. He cannot put his finger on what exactly that may be, though.
He’s perceptive when it comes to the things that matter. Until yesterday, you hadn’t.
You laugh sweetly, pushing your fingers through his hair. His eyes flutter shut as you do. You’re good with your hands, much better than the last stylist. He’s sure he made note of that at some point, but in the same way someone notices when a door stops squeaking. You take it for granted after the first time.
"I'm a creature of habit. Might take me a couple tries to adjust," you warn, covering his forehead with your palm as you spritz product into his hair. You never let any of that sticky crap get on his face, much less in his eyes. You take measures to ensure his comfort, even though he’s never scolded you. You seem to do it entirely out of reflex simply because you care enough to.
"Well, you've made it this far. You've got time to adjust," he says. Now that he's seen you, he finds that he doesn't care for the thought of you being gone. More than that, he starts actively looking forward to the time he spends in the chair with you. What used to be a monotonous aspect of the celebrity side of his life becomes a comforting ritual.
The two of you chat with surprising ease, like old friends made new. He tells you about himself, vents to you about work and personal business alike. In turn he learns about you and the life you live beyond the time you share with him. It’s nothing extraordinary–not like his–but it's yours, and for some reason, that’s enough to make it interesting.
The more he grasps that you are an entire person outside of the service you provide him, the more he wants to know. He doesn’t give a fuck about your elderly cat, but he does like the way your voice changes when you talk about it. His mind drifts when you tell him these little anecdotes, and he wonders what you tell the people in your life about him. He wonders if your tone similarly changes when you do. Do you speak fondly of him? Days turn to weeks. Little by little, Homelander discerns small changes in himself. There’s a slight pep in his step these days. The sun feels a little warmer, the thrum of crowded events less irritating. His attitude towards interviews flips; even the ones he used to dread he begins to anticipate. He knows you’ll have him looking and feeling his finest. He knows that regardless of what awaits him, you’ll have something to say about it that will make it easier to smile for the cameras.
Thinking of you is sometimes all it takes.
When he has nothing on his schedule to be styled for, he sulks. On those days, he misses your laugh the most.
He makes sure the products he keeps at home are the same as the ones you use. The smell of them reminds him of the smell of you, of your knock-off Dior perfume that fades too quickly after you apply it, which makes it just perfect for his keen sense of smell. The humble subtlety of you, your sincerity and gentleness, have become a boon against the unfeeling corporate reality of his life. On the days he does see you, he begins to miss you before he’s even left you. Now, as he walks to his next scheduled appointment with you, he’s painfully aware of the beat of his own heart. His stomach is twisting in on itself, though he isn’t hungry. If anything, he feels a little nauseous. The closer he gets to the door, the louder the cacophony inside of him becomes. Is he sick? That shouldn’t be possible, but he can’t understand what’s happening to him. Pausing just outside the door, he takes in a steadying breath.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Taking a moment to collect himself, he gives his face two quick pats on either side, shaking his head. Get it together, he tells himself, stepping into the dressing room.
“Gooood morn–” Homelander cuts himself short, looking around the empty room. His brows pinch. He isn’t early. Pursing his lips, he takes a brief stroll about the room, clutching his hands behind his back. He peers down the hallway, cutting through the layers of wall with his vision. No sign of you on the grounds yet. He clicks his tongue.
You’ve never been late. Unable to settle, he paces for a while. He has the thought to call you, but he realizes he doesn’t have your number. Why doesn’t he have your number? It seems such an obvious thing to have despite the fact he’s never needed it.
He’s just pulled out his cellphone to track it down from Ashley when the door suddenly opens and his head snaps up. The initial relief he feels is cut short, turning cold in his chest when the person who steps through the door is most definitely not you. “Good morning!” the woman greets him, her voice chirpy and grating in his ears. She’s not really happy to see him. She doesn’t know the first fucking thing about him. At most, she’s another sycophantic drone who’s only pleased to breathe his air. In his upset, she looks freakishly distorted, her smile overly wide and fake. His leather gloves creak as he curls his hands into fists. “Who the fuck are you?” he asks, voice as measured as he can manage it. His anger hits in an unreasonable surge, hot like lava from a volcano. This woman’s only crime is the fact she’s not you, and yet it’s enough to make him want to rip her head off her shoulders, spine and all. The woman hesitates in the doorway, her chipper demeanor flipping to a fearful one. “Uhm, my name is Lisa, I’m supposed to style you to–” “Where is my stylist?” he interrupts her, prowling towards her like a hungry predator. He says again, louder this time, voice full of anger and anxiety in equal measure, “Where the fuck is my stylist?!” “I– I don’t know!” Lisa yelps, stepping backwards from him. “I was called in as a last minute replacement! They said– they said there was an accident, or–” Homelander pushes her roughly out of the doorway, blowing past her with a frustrated growl. She hits the wall hard before crumpling to the floor like a lifeless sack of potatoes, but he doesn’t even register it. He calls Ashley, stalking down the hallway, his footfalls loud with fury. Why the fuck didn’t anyone think to tell him? “Ashley!” He snarls into his phone the second she answers. “Tell me where the fuck my goddamn stylist is.”
Homelander is at the hospital within minutes. The staff puts up a meager effort to enforce protocols, but he’s The Homelander, and after a lie or two, they eventually let him through. He hates the smell of hospitals. The sickly mix of bleach and illness, the buzzing of the fluorescent lights. They never should have brought you here. You should be in Vought’s med ward.
You should be with him. When he finds you, you’re sitting with the hospital bed halfway reclined, wearing nothing but a hospital gown. The vibrant reds and blues of his suit paint a sharp contrast to the stark white walls of the hospital room when he steps inside. You have a pudding cup in your hand, though you nearly drop it when you see him in the doorway. His hair is woefully unstyled, splayed loose in every direction from his flight. “H-Homelander,” you sputter, choking on your bite of pudding. You swallow, clearing your throat. He’s walking towards you. The closer he gets, the faster your heart beats in his ears. “What are you doing here?” “Are you okay?” He asks, blowing off your question entirely. He blinks and his vision flickers through your clothes and skin alike. He scans your body for internal damage, for broken or fractured bones. You’re not wearing a cast or anything, but he needs to be sure. You nod, clutching at the blanket, wearing your confusion plainly on your face. “Yeah, I’m okay, it’s probably just mild whiplash, but I’m getting an x-ray to be–” “You’re fine,” he breathes more to himself than to you, his relief palpable. He can hear the flustered patter of your heart clearly. With the adrenaline wearing off, he’s beginning to feel that sickly familiar feeling that he had experienced in the hallway; butterflies rampant in his stomach, battering their wings frantically inside him. His jaw feels tight, his tongue too big for his mouth. Staring at you now, frail and precious as you are in this ugly hospital bed, he realizes what’s the matter–what has always been the matter–he is deeply and incurably in love with you. “Are you okay?” You ask, taking in his tortured expression, his wildly wind-swept hair. The obvious concern in your voice and in your eyes churns his already twisting gut. “No,” he says, the response knee-jerk. Even though the room is still, he feels as though the world is spinning around him. “No, I think I’m in love with you,” he says, expression twisted up, like he’s figuring out each word as he says them. Your heart skips a beat, your breath catches in your lungs. It’s as if the words have paralyzed you. Homelander laughs. It sounds a little hysterical.
“I’m telling you all of a sudden, but it isn’t new with me,” he says, reaching out to cup either side of your face in his gloved hands. “I love you,” he says, voice firmer now, the realization setting in fully. He looks slightly delirious with it. He’s discovered a secret that he should have known all along, that seems so obvious in hindsight. Of course he loves you, because you love him. The gentleness in your hands as you touched his face, the care in your fingers stroking through his hair far longer than both of you knew you needed to. You dedicated yourself like no other to showing him reverence in service of him, and is that not love in its purest form? And yet, you don’t look to share his elation. You look like you’ve been struck by lightning, expression wide and bewildered. You still haven’t taken a breath. Homelander’s smile falters. “What’s the matter?” He asks, tone dropping a touch. “This is good news! Great, even.” For every second that you do not speak, the beat of his heart feels heavier in his chest. Why don’t you look happy? Finally, you suck in a shaky breath. He watches you with all the intensity of a viper poised to strike.
“I…” You hesitate. You lift your hands and grip his wrists, squeezing them through the thick fabric of his gloves as if to convince yourself that he’s really there. Maybe the accident was worse than he thought. Did you hit your head?
Panic swells in his chest. It hadn’t occurred to him you might not reciprocate. The thought makes him ill.
“I never…” your eyes turn glassy, welling with tears. “Say it!” he wants to shout, his own heart hammering loudly enough to nearly drown out your words. “I never would have thought–or even dreamed–in a million years that you might love me back.”
love me back.
Like a dying ember roaring back to life, Homelander’s demeanor reignites, his faded smile broadening once more.
“I realized it when I was worried fucking sick because you didn't show up,” he says, leaning closer to you. He’s brought the scent of ozone from the sky he tore through on his way to you, but all he cares about is the faint smell of pudding lingering on your lips.
He huffs a laugh. “They sent in some idiot to fill in for you. Like they could replace you. I almost tore her head off,” he says, giddy with euphoria. Your expression shifts, brows furrowing. “Wait, what? You almost-” “I’m gonna kiss you now,” he interrupts, his voice a low rumble. He can already taste you in the breaths you’re close enough to share with him, and he’s never been hungrier for anything–or anyone–in his life. You fall silent with a shiver, nodding minutely, eyes falling shut. “Please do.” His lips meet yours in a gentle press. He deserves a medal for not crushing you with the sheer magnitude of his desire. You all but melt against him, settling into his grip as smoothly as you settled into his life, his mind, his heart. When the two of you break apart, you make a breathless noise that shoots through him like a bolt of lightning. He feels hyper aware of your every sound and move.
God, how he wants to feel every part of you.
You move your hands to touch his face and he leans into the softness of your caress. You’ve been close enough to kiss more times than he can count. The fact it’s only now occurred to him to do so seems like lunacy. Your eyes dip to his lips, your thumb brushes the bottom one. He catches it with a quick kiss and you laugh your sweet bell-chime laughter.
Pushing your hand into his hair, the wondrous joy in your expression becomes tinged with amusement. “And people wonder why I use so much gel,” you murmur, smooth the wild splay of his hair down with both hands, cupping the back of his head. Homelander smiles wide and boyishly, which prompts you to kiss him again.
“I’m not having some kind of brain bleed hallucination right now, right?” You ask quietly, the tip of your nose lightly pressed to his. He brushes his lips against yours between words. “You’re serious?”
“As a heart attack,” he purrs, stroking your cheek with his thumb. Despite the ugly fluorescent lights and the dreadful hospital stench all around, you look resplendent in your joy.
He had been right. It was love that you touched him with. It had been subtle, imbued in your every movement, and for months he had soaked it up until, unbeknownst to him, he fell into it as well.
“Trust me when I say you’ll be seeing a lot more of me from now on,” he says, brushing your nose with his.
Maybe instead of tearing them limb from limb, he’ll send flowers to whoever the sorry son of a bitch that rear-ended you this morning was. Who knows how much more time he would have wasted before he realized he was utterly smitten with you.
#i've been meaning to get this fic fixed up for ages bc the original was a MESS and randomly switched to the reader's pov halfway in lol#but i have major fondness and nostalgia for this fic#it's from like my first month in the fandom#homelander x reader#homelander x you#homelander fanfiction#x reader#my writing#fluff
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𝒲𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑜𝓌. (𝐹.𝒯𝒾𝑔𝑒𝓁𝒶𝒶𝓇)
This is unexpected I know but I saw wicked recently and it changed me. I love that man so go ahead and call me Metallica because nothing else matters. Here, have my heart it’s yours.
Contains: emotional distress, mentions of anxiety, angst, comfort, established relationship insults, allusions to smut, Fiyero x reader
⋆✴︎˚。⋆
•. ° ⋆✴︎ ˚。⋆
Being at Shiz was supposed to be a good fit for you. Everyone here has a gift just like you so naturally, you’d blend right in.
No muss, no fuss…right?
Wrong.
Your “gift” quickly turned into a curse when you found yourself involved with a certain irritatingly charming prince whose heart was secretly bigger than those eyes he’s always roaming over you with.
How you got into this was a mystery because normally men like Fiyero simply weren’t your type. Free spirited, flirtatious, distracting, thoughtless…he was almost cavalier. But you soon found out that there were no men like Fiyero because he was one of a kind; although you weren’t sure what kind and you could never bring yourself to ignore him….
And so your relationship was formed.
You noticed you two were opposites yet with Fiyero it seemed like the thought never quite occurred to him. That unconditional affection for everyone he so easily held about him was what did you in. The way he lulled people together, outcasts and norms didn’t matter, it all made your organized world spin out of orbit with him at the center. And oh how pleasant spinning was.
The warm tingling that raced through you when he’d take your hand, gently kissing his way up from the back of your hand to the crux underneath your ear leading to your jaw, brushing your hair to your opposite shoulder so he could place a few more warm, generous kisses on the sensitive skin around that area, purposefully ignoring your quiet sighs of bliss, before finally kissing your lips and asking tenderly,
“How is my darling girl today, hm?”
Yes, being with Fiyero was a dream. So why…
Why have you been plagued with visions of him meeting a most terrible and lonely end?
They started off fleeting- your visions- a little glimpse of your love in a field then darkness before they began to escalate drastically. You would see your Fiyero in a field and in that field he appeared to be fighting guards before being outnumbered and taken away. The next time your vision changed…and Fiyero along with it. That was what ultimately broke you. The same field but only this time there was no Fiyero.
Only a scarecrow.
But the posted up thing seemed so familiar to you, the jacket reminding you of big hands around your waist while you held on the the muscled arms of that same jacket, smiling and laughing breathlessly as you were spun, music and life playing as you two danced on…as the memory faded, that’s when you realized that that was Fiyero. You woke up bawling in a cold sweat, almost delirious with grief.
The dream visions kept happening.
You resorted to napping only when necessary but that was never long, so on top of sleep deprivation your anxiety was off the charts. The slightest thing seemed to always snap something in you which made your mood and eventually appearance- tank. In other words, you were a wreck.
Fiyero, obviously, was the first to notice and decided he wouldn’t push you to talk about it if you weren’t ready so he decided to just stay by your side as he always did but he made his presence softer, more gentle.
For you. He’d do anything for you.
Only you didn’t improve much. Dark circles, the way your anxiety grew to panic, especially when Fiyero wasn’t around and it was becoming difficult to ignore. The way you became almost frantic about him. Out of your mind with worry.
One day it all gave when you were studying in his dorm suite and he grew restless. Not wanting to disturb you, Fiyero gave a soft kiss to the top of your head, smiling at the cute focus lines on your forehead as you read, before slipping out the door for a walk around, to get rid of some of the extra energy. You hadn’t even noticed until almost an hour later when you look up and your Fiyero is nowhere to be found. Panic set in immediately.
It was like gravity suddenly failing as everything you’d been holding back came crashing into the surface. The fear of losing him and the joy he bought you with something as simple as his smile, the grief of knowing how badly you’d miss him if something happened and he’d be taken away from you, the sadness because you needed him, loving him more than he’ll ever know. Both your panic and despair led to the flood of tears.
You tried to breathe, to think rationally, but you just couldn’t, exhausted by the weight of your emotions.
Left crying for what felt like eons, the door suddenly swings open, quick loud footsteps then big warm hands cup your face looking at you with all the concern in the world as you sob hopelessly.
Fiyero’s eyes search your face with a frown. It’s true that you’ve been having a difficult time these last few weeks, though he’s not sure what’s been causing it but seeing you like this…on his knees Fiyero suddenly wraps his arms around you, crushing you to his chest as he brings a hand to hold the back of your head, tucking you under his chin, soothing you until you quiet. The wetness on his shirt, the mess of your lovely hair, the shattered mirrors from the impact of your emotions; none of that matters more than how you’re actually feeling. What’s truly wrong with you.
“Please”, the desperation in his voice brings a fresh wave of tears that spill down your cheeks but he has to know,
“tell me princess, what is it thats filled you with such sadness?”
Your voice is hoarse when you take a deep breath and downright pained when you reply.
“Don’t go away from me. Stay with me, by my side, you can’t leave you can’t-!” Fiyero stops your incoming meltdown by tightening his hold on you, shushing you gently, before titling your chin with a bent index finger, heartbreak bleeding into his eyes as he sees the fear in yours.
“How ever could I go away from you?”, he asks, lightly shaking his head. “I’ll always be here. Why? Do you think I’ll leave?” You can tell from the way he’s speaking that he’s not trying to upset you even though he’s unaware of the image his question brings you, still you answer. “…no. I’m worried you’ll be stolen- taken from me. Gone in every world where I’d never get to be with you again”, and Fiyero’s eyes widen in shock.
“Who would take me awa-“, you cut him off as the truth spills out into the air. Your visions, the way you know they’re caused by that underlying evil that’s been plaguing Oz like a slow working poison, even him and the scarecrow. You tell him everything down from the very night you got the first vision of him in that damned field. By the end you’re gasping through the stream of tears that break up your wails and Fiyero reels for a moment with parts victory and fear. Victory because ha! He knew Oz was off and fear because your visions were never wrong…either way..you were basically telling him that he was going to die.
And that’s been the cause of your recent state.
You weren’t just sad- you were mourning.
Mourning him.
In a lot of ways, you two were connected. You loved him and he loved you. When you are together- hell- when you’re simply in the same space, your hearts beat the same beat. Not a pump out of place and Fiyero felt that, when he hugs you and your chest is pressed to his or sometimes more intimately…warmth over your naked forms as he rocks into you deeper, claiming your mouth in pleasure as your nails rake down his back. His chest is pressed against yours then too, your hearts both beating as one, even as he drives into all your senses with a catching heat you could never control.
He was also the first not to be weary of your visions the way most people were. It was a rare gift so not much was known about foretellers and people tended to fear what they didn’t understand but there was a constant stigma that they only foretold catastrophe. He knew that wasn’t true as bad does need good and you only proved his point.
Starting with when you casually foretold him to make sure his fly isn’t down in the mess hall that Wednesday like you saw it would be, leading to quite the moment. And unlike most people, Fiyero did not heed your warning, he simply let his pants be. After the embarrassment of the entire student body noticing and things had quieted to their normal schedule, you cornered him in the hall and called him every kind of dimwit imaginable.
“Moron! You daft, airheaded, twittle brained, dim witted, dumb, doe-eyed, idiot buffoon! Did you not hear a wit of what I told you Monday?!”
“I-“
“I wasn’t finished! I told you so you could keep it from happening! Having a pleasing face and pretty smile won’t always distract everyone from your mishaps! Be more responsible!”
That’s when he realized it. One, that foretellers weren’t all about doom and gloom; and two, the delicious way you didn’t hesitate to lay into him like others never did, with that scowl on your pretty face showed him that he needed to have you.
“Ah, so you find my face to be pleasing?” The flush that bloomed across your face made him smirk as he let his ego take over.
“You’re not wrong. It is quite pleasing, in more ways than one-“, you cut him off with a scandalized gasp, promptly turning on your heel and scurrying away with a slightly tinted face. The implications of his words giving you quite the head-rush. Oh, you were so going down.
Only it wasn’t easy. You didn’t want him when he was Fiyero Tigelaar of Winkie Country- no. You preferred him when he was just..Fiyero. So now seeing the woman who loves him for him breakdown because you were petrified of losing him made a pit settle in his stomach that he desperately wanted to wish away as he rushed to comfort you.
“Shhh, hey, it’s alright. I’m here- right here. Nothing is taking me away from you. I wouldn’t let it.” The hushed whisper of his words fell over you like a blanket but the nagging worry was still there.
“But what-“
“No what if’s. I will not go anywhere that you can’t follow.”
The resolution in his voice makes you look up, staring at him through blurry wet eyes, closing them when he bought his hand up to wipe them, cooing softly. Silence took over as you allowed yourself to calm, taking him in. The sound of his voice, how he spoke, the gleam that was forever in his eye, the broad heat from his body, the lovely smell that always clung to him and rubbed off on you, even his hands. In the silence you whisper back to him.
“Promise me”, you’ll swear him to it, if that’s what it takes to keep him strictly by your side.
“I promise.” Of course he does, and without hesitation.
Wordlessly, you’re lifted and carried a short distance before you’re laid down, back falling into the plush comforters around you as Fiyero settles over top of you, raining slow tender kisses across your face. The familiarity of such a position makes you flush as your hands find purchase on his wide shoulders.
“I’m afraid, my pet, that we still have another problem…”, he trails off as you try to stay grounded.
“Mmm-oh! And what is that problem?” It takes longer than you would have preferred to get the words out, through the haze of Fiyero’s big hands caressing up your sides in a slow drag, thumbing at the sides of your breasts as he settles between your legs. Movements slow, languid.
“The problem”, he pauses to lave his tongue across the underside of your jaw, the hot wet muscle working as the kisses to your neck become molten, “..is how sad you still look.”
Look sad? You? You doubt it. The confused sound that leaves your dazed self makes him smile.
Your heart skips a hard beat when Fiyero presses himself against you, drinking in the way your teary eyes flutter back in pleasure with a bite of his lip, successfully having distracted you.
“Don’t worry though, it’s an easy enough fix…”, answering him coherently is the last thing on your mind as you let out a belated ‘hm’. Fiyero intentionally rolls his hips against your heat as your hands fly to his chest, working to get his shirt open with a whine.
“Yeah, told you I’m right here-“, he says pressing down on your lower tummy, “but I think it would help more for you to feel it no?”
Your response is pulling his head down to your lips, wanting him all over you as he licks into your mouth….
•
•
Afterwards when he’s tired you out enough to put you to sleep; there are no nightmares. No visions.
That night, or any of the ones after.
#i love him#i’m not sorry#wicked#fiyero tigelaar#wicked fiyero#fiyero#fiyero x reader#fiyero tigelaar x reader
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Can we pretty please have König with the secret baby trope?
/)/)
( . .)
( づ♡
I offer a little bunny as a bribe [I really hope it works and doesn’t end up misshapen lol]
Bunny looks good to me…. I accept
So in this, I imagine that you were something of a friends with benefits to him. While it wasn’t a sugaring situation, he did insist upon treating you to a nice dinner whenever you met up. When he’d come home on leave, he’d reach out, you’d meet up and fuck, and eventually he’d ship back out and the cycle repeated.
Truthfully, he’d been planning on trying to make things less casual for a long time. He’s not the kind of person who can fuck someone repeatedly and not fall in love, as much as he tried to be when this began. He decided that on his next leave, he would tell you.
He didn’t expect his next leave to be as far away as it turned out to be. While he is within his rights as a mercenary to decline extending his time on the job, he often doesn’t. He’s a workaholic and one of the small number of people at KorTac with no family to speak of, so he often takes on the burden staying on longer when needed. The time gets away from him. He’s gone longer than a year.
He comes back, anxious about where he stands with you. What you had hadn’t exactly been exclusive, and it’s hard to believe that you wouldn’t have been snapped up in that time away. To him, there can be no shortage of other men in your life that are crazy about you.
He contacts you. You tell him that you’re not really in a position to meet up with him, and you don’t really know if you ever will be again, honestly. His hands are sweating and his fingers fuck up on the keyboard all the time, so he just decides to call. Ask you what he’s done, if there’s someone else, if you know that he’s madly in love—
Not thirty seconds into the phone call, just barely past the niceties and pleasant greetings, when all of those questions are on the tip of his tongue— he hears crying. A baby crying. You tell him hurriedly that you’ll have to call him back. He decides he just can’t wait that long. He goes to your place.
You answer the door with a baby in a sling around you, tucked up to your chest, markedly more calm than it had been over the phone. Red hair. Your expression is a little tightened, like you hadn’t really wanted to see him at the door.
“As you can see, I’m not really able to attend a dick appointment right now.”
Fuck, is that what it was? You thought he just wanted sex?
A Quick look at your apartment tells him there isn’t anyone else. No men’s shoes by the door. Photos on the wall are just you and your friends— no partner in sight. It’s also kind of a mess. If there was a man in your life, he deserved to have his head beat in for leaving you to deal with all of this alone all day.
Then comes the quick mental math.
“That’s not what I want. Let me come in, schatz. Let me talk to you.”
It breaks his heart to see how reticent you are to let him in. It’s part and parcel with how tired you look.
“Look, if you’re wondering— yes, he’s yours, biologically.” Well, that clarification at the end stings a little. “But it was my choice to keep him, so I don’t expect anything from you. If this feels like an obligation to you, I’d prefer if we just cut things off here.”
The words that follow spill from his mouth uncontrollably.
“I don’t just want him— I want you. I want the both of you. I want it to be us,” he nearly babbles, hoping what he says is even halfway coherent.
“You’re all I think of when I’m away. I cannot lie and say I’d imagined the… the order of events would be this way. But I’d thought of it— with you. Please let me in, and… and let me meet him properly, ja?”
There are tears in his eyes when his son holding his finger for the first time, not ten minutes later.
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All Bark and No Bite 11
Masterlist /Series masterlist
Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8
ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe
Previous - Next
Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader, cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!)
Chapter warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (p in v), kissing, suggestive, crying, cursing, fingering, biting, hair pulling, dubcon?, subspace, HardDom!Chan, SoftDom!Felix, fluff, angst, anxiety, manipulation, unbalanced power dynamics, and probably more but idk let me know This one ain't as sweet as the last few
WC:6.8k
In a strange turn of events, it seems Chan woke up before you did this time. Not that you were complaining; especially when you awoke to him running his warm fingers over your mating mark absentmindedly, feeling the indented skin. Every little touch felt like electricity coursing through you, as if the zaps were bringing you back to life. Overall it was a very pleasant way to wake up.
His hand that wasn’t touching your neck had his phone and he was listening to music with one ear bud in his ear on a low volume. You let out a low ‘hm’ letting him know you were awake now.
“Good morning, my omega.” Chans voice was raspy from sleep. He must have only just woken up not long ago himself. He didn’t say anything else, just held you tighter.
Moments like this were Chan's favorite. Being able to wake up to you; his mate, his omega, the love of his life - there was nothing better. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been before having you here. He never felt as complete as he did right in this moment.
“Can I listen with you?” You mumbled sleepily. You wanted to hear what your alpha listened to. Wordlessly he took his other earbud and slipped it into your own ear. ‘Give me love’ By Ed sheeran was playing through the bud, the sweet melodies flooding your senses.
‘Give a little time to me or burn this out
We'll play hide and seek to turn this around
All I want is the taste that your lips allow
My, my, my, my, oh give me love’
It had been so long since you had heard this song, you used to sing this all the time in your room when you were younger and waiting to fall hopelessly in love. It felt fitting that now you were here laying in bed with your soulmate, who you had fallen hopelessly in love with.
Chan began to sing along softly to the music playing, serenading you quietly.
‘Maybe I should let you go
You know I'll fight my corner
And that tonight I'll call ya
After my blood is drowning in alcohol
No I just wanna hold ya’
The alpha squeezed you a little tighter after he sang those words, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Your heart fluttered at the action. The two of you laid there together for probably an hour, just enjoying each other's company while he sang each song that played.
Eventually though, you both had to get up as there was work to be done. For Chan anyways. You had to make breakfast and get ready to leave with Jisung and Felix. Chan had a lot to do today himself. He had been neglecting his actual job in his family business and if he was going to take another day off tomorrow to go camping then he definitely needed to make all his calls and emails today.
“Are you excited to do more shopping with the betas today?” the alpha asked as you were both getting out of bed.
“Yes. I am.” You seemed apprehensive.
“Buuuuut?” He pressed, knowing something was troubling you.
“I just.. Feel bad.. About spending more of your money. I didn’t do anything to deserve you guys spending all this money on me.” You were avoiding eye contact with him as you went to brush your teeth.
Chan stopped you before you could enter his bathroom, arm out to block you. “Baby.” you kept your head down not wanting to look at him, now that you had embarrassed yourself again. When you didn’t acknowledge him he let out a frustrated growl, “Omega, look at me now.” you had no choice but to look at him, he used a command on you.
You were lucky that was all he did, he had wanted to grip your hair and make you look at him forcefully. Chan had a problem when people didn’t listen to him, especially his omega. Some would say he thrives off of non-sexual dominance. They would be correct. The alpha was used to getting his way practically his whole life. He would forgive you now, you were still learning.
Instead of yanking your hair he settled for petting it softly. “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t intend to be mean to you.” At his gentle words and even gentler touch you forgot about the command being used on you, leaning into his hand. “You need to understand that my money is your money. In fact this whole packs money is yours to spend as you please. The other boys would agree with me. Ok?” He waited for your words of agreement and when they didn’t come he egged them on. “You wanna be good for us right? Good omegas listen to their alphas.”
You wanted to be good for him so badly, really it’s all you wanted. There was a glimpse of panic on your face at the prospect of upsetting your mate. “ I’ll be good! I promise!” You nodded rapidly.
He gave you his signature boyish grin, dimples on display, then leaned in and gave you a kiss, nipping your lip as he pulled back. “I know you will, Baby. You’re the best Omega I know.” You purred at his praise, finding it addicting. “We gotta get a move on, lots to do today if we’re going camping tomorrow.” He let you go into the bathroom to do your business and such.
You went to pick out an outfit for today, deciding to sport some jean shorts and a basic black tank top. After that you had a quick shower and did light makeup. Simple but you felt cute nonetheless.
When you both finally made your way down to the main floor you found Minho and Changbin sat at the kitchen island making a list of what you would need for camping tomorrow. More like Minho had roped Changbin into helping him because the beta was a planner and liked to have things ready.
“Finally! Hyung needs help deciding what to do for food tomorrow and Saturday morning. Any suggestions?” Changbin exclaimed as he saw Chan, giving the older alpha pleading eyes.
“Good morning to you too Changbin. Oh I slept great, thanks for asking.” Chan quipped sarcastically, and Changbin rolled his eyes with a groan of annoyance.
“Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” The younger alpha asked you, trying to get on his Hyungs nerves. He cackled when it worked, Chan letting out a huff.
You giggled, “Morning, Binnie. I slept wonderfully. Thank you for asking.”
“Yeah yeah good morning whatever, can we get back to this now?” Minho was getting frustrated, “We literally only have right now to think about this.”
“Fine.” Changbin reached forward and grabbed you by the hips, laughing when you squealed, and setting you on his lap. “What do you think, baby? Any suggestions?”
You leaned back against Changbins chest, feeling the muscles behind you, head on his shoulder while you pondered. “Do you think we should do easy things? Like maybe bring a bunch of premade stuff like sandwiches and maybe breakfast burritos for the morning we can just wrap in foil and throw on the grill?”
“That sounds like a great idea, omega.” Chan replied, leaning on the counter opposite you.
“Yeah! To make it even easier we can place an order for them and pick them up from the diner in town before we leave tomorrow morning.” Changbin agreed, tickling your sides mercifully. He kissed the side of your head when you giggled at him, ignoring the throbbing in his pants caused by your squirming. “Smarty pants.”
Minho nodded in agreement, writing down how many of each he approximated you would all need. “Ok so twenty of each.”
“Twenty?! Why twenty of each, there are only nine of us!” You objected confused, looking at Minho as if he had grown a second head.
“Have you not seen how much these guys eat? Changbin himself could probably put away half of them if you’d let him.” He was looking back at you as if you were the crazy one.
“Hey!” Changbin protested but didn’t fight too hard, knowing Minho was right.
“Yeah Bin, you’ll probably end up eating both of yours and the rest of Felix’s like you always do.” Chan poked fun at the younger alpha.
“What are we talking about? I heard my name.” right on queue Felix walked into the room you were all in.
“We’re talking about the plans for tomorrow, trying to get things taken care of.” Minho sighed, standing from his seat. “Speaking of which, I need to make calls for these orders to be picked up in the morning and then get the other stuff together.” He seemed stressed as he walked away.
“Is he ok?” You asked, worried for the beta.
“Oh yeah he's fine, Min is a planner and likes to get things done in advance. He’s probably going to find Innie to make him help get all the camping stuff out of the garage.” Chan answered, taking an apple off the counter and taking a bite.
At the sight of his apple you remembered your task, “ Do you guys want breakfast?” You went to hop down from Changbins lap but he only held you tighter against him, refusing to let you go.
“Ji should be back any second with pasties and coffee. He wanted to surprise you baby. Annnnd now i’ve ruined it, fuck.” Felix cursed, looking remorseful at having spoiled the fun.
Chan clicked his tongue in mock disappointment, shaking his head. “Way to go, Felix.”
“Hey leave him alone, he's just a boy!” Changbin defended the beta playfully, you leaning into him and huffing in agreement.
“Did somebody say Jisung?!?” A loud voice came from the front door, almost an announcement of his presence. A moment later the boy in question came sauntering in, sunglasses still over his eyes and holding a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries.
“No.” Changbin laments, “Go away.”
“Fine I guess you don’t want the cherry tart I got especially for you, Binnie.” Jisung made a show of wafting the bag up to his nose, “Mmmmm all for me then. Here is yours, my baby. A sweet treat for an even sweeter girl.” He handed you a chocolate croissant and a coffee.
You felt your face heat up as you accepted the pastry. “Thank you Ji.” When Binnie was distracted making grabby hands at the bag that jisung had set down, you took the opportunity to slip off his lap.
“Anything for you.” He grabbed your hand and yanked you closer to him. “Anyways, let's get this show on the road!” with his coffee in one hand and you in the other he set off towards the door. Chan held out a credit card for Jisung who happily snatched it. “Make sure she gets something nice. Our girl seems to have a problem with spending my money.” He winked at you as you passed.
“Oh you know I have no problem spending daddy's money.” The beta cackled.
“Wait for me!” Felix called, scooping his own items and following you out.
“Bye baby!” Changbin yelled, crumbs flying out of his mouth.
“Have a good time, omega.”
“Bye Channie bye Binnie!” You called as you were going out the door.
To say Eun was happy to see you again was an understatement. The second you walked into her shop she had a tight grip on you, hugging the life outta you. The older woman was unable to hold back tears at the sight of the bite mark on your neck, wailing about how happy she was for you and Chan and that the alpha couldn’t be luckier to have landed such a fantastic omega. You had reassured her you were in fact the lucky one.
It took another half an hour of chatting with her before she finally brought you out some swimsuits to try on. You had picked out a few modest one pieces for yourself but her and the boys suggested (demanded) you try on their picks first, an array of bikinis. You had never worn a bikini before so trying them on and modeling them was making you nervous.
You had chosen a basic white one to start. You figured you would start plain and work up to getting more comfortable. You thought it was cute but knew it wouldn't be the one. Thus began you trying a few different ones until you found one you liked. It had been almost 20 minutes since you had gone into the dressing room and the beta boys were getting antsy waiting for you to come out.
“Everything alright in there, baby?” The deep honey tones of Felix's voice called out to you.
“Y-yeah.” you stuttered, debating whether or not to come out. “I’ve never- never worn a bikini before and I’m a little nervous.” you admitted.
“If you’re really not comfortable you can try something else, we won’t be mad or disappointed.” He reassured you.
You felt better at his words, taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain and revealing yourself.
Both Jisung and Felix felt their eyes widen and hearts stop at the sight of you. You had decided on a little purple bikini with stars on it. It was so you. The swimsuit fits you like a glove and goes perfectly with your skin tone.
They both had been too busy admiring you to say anything and in turn their silence made you self conscious. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You mumbled, covering yourself with your arms and going to shuffle back into the fitting room.
“NO!” they yelled in unison looking at you in panic now. Felix tried to compose himself but Jisung did not, falling to the floor at your feet.
“I’m sorry baby! You look so, so good we couldn’t help but stare!” He pleaded, his heart thumping wildly.
Felix nodded in agreement, now more embarrassed than anything at his fellow betas' antics.
“ Please don’t turn away from us. We didn’t mean to make you feel any negativity. We love the suit. It fits you so well!”
“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You asked skeptically, still covering yourself.
“Baby, my baby, omega, believe me when I say this, if you don’t get that swimsuit I will literally drop dead.” Jisung was so serious from his place on the floor, not one hint of deception on his face. “I simply cannot go on living any longer knowing I will never again get to see your beauty in this bikini - which was made for you by the way- and soon I'll die. In fact even hearing you say it was a bad idea almost killed me on the spot.”
“Oh don’t be so damn dramatic!” Eun called out walking up to the three of you. “But you do look fantastic in that one, Y/n. It would be a real crime if you didn’t get it.” She winked.
It seemed all three betas were rooting for this one so it seemed your fate was sealed.
“I-if you’re all sure…” You trailed off, letting your arms fall to your sides now.
“Never been more sure about anything, sweetheart.” Felix gave you his charming smile.
You hummed, “Fine. I’ll get this one.” There was a round of cheers then Eun went to ring you up, adding a few more pieces she thought would suit you.
Felixs’ big errand was buying blue hair dye. Apparently he used to have blue hair but it's been a while and he’s ready to feel like himself again. He was too precious. You wondered if Chan would be ok with you dying your hair, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask. Jisung tried to convince you to get some purple dye anyway and not tell him but you were too chicken shit to do something like that.
“Do you wanna help me dye mine, baby? I would love your company.” Felix asked you, crinkling his eyes at you.
Pulling back up to the house you found Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin outside putting some large camping items in the back of a truck. By the looks of it they had already loaded a grill and a few tents. Minho sure didn’t waste time. “There you are, now you can help too.” He eyed the younger boys.
“Actually y/n and I have a few things to do.” Felix grabbed your hand as you got out of the car, his other hand holding your bags. “Sungie would love to help you tho, i'm sure.”
“What?! Traitor!” Jisung complained but was quick to change his tune when Min gave him the evil eye. “I mean, yay packing.”
“We all have to do our part. You included.” Jeongin snickered, handing the beta a bag to put in the car. “At least you didn’t have to make a store run like Hyun and Bin hyung.”
“This was your idea! You should be doing all the work!”
Felix pulled you along into the house, quickly to go undetected “come on before they rope us into helping.” he whispered.
Both of you went up the stairs into Felix's bathroom after you dropped your bags off in your room. Passing Chan's office you could faintly hear the alpha in there on the phone, probably talking with a client. The fact that he works so hard so his pack could have the life they live was astounding. Chan really was a great alpha.
Entering the bathroom Felix reached under the sink for plastic gloves for you to use, and set up the dye. You had helped your old best friend dye her hair a few times so the process was familiar to you. Thankfully his hair was already bleach blonde so you didn’t have to worry about trying to bleach it.
You loved spending time with Felix. Really you loved any one on one time with the boys but you and Felix hadn’t spent time like this since your first day. That felt like so long ago when in reality had only been over a week. They say time flies when you're spending it with your loved ones.
You were discussing what you wanted to plant in the greenhouse when you came back from camping. Cucumbers, pumpkins and peppers were at the top of your list, while Felix requested some carrots and spinach if you could find the room. In only a few hours you had finished dying his hair and had just helped him wash out the dye. He had chosen a beautiful blue for his hair. It seemed to compliment him perfectly. Now it seemed like he was representing who he truly was, with his hair being a clear sky and he himself was the sun.
“You’re all finished! It looks so good on you Lix!” You were enthused, pleased with the finished product.
“All thanks to you baby.” He pulled a blow dryer from under the sink and plugged it in. “Now I'm gonna dry it. Do you wanna help me style it?” Felix really just wanted to be around you more, he wanted to be selfish if only for a while.
“Sure Lixie.” you beamed, reaching for the dryer. You were sitting on the bathroom counter while Felix stood directly in front of you. You turned it on a low setting and grabbed a brush in your other hand, he leaned closer to you and came to stand between your legs.
You began to dry and style his hair, neither of you saying anything now but it not being uncomfortable. In fact it was pleasant. Being close with him reminded you of the kiss he shared with you last night. Not you nor he had brought up the kiss, and he also hadn’t kissed you since. ‘Maybe he regretted kissing me’ the thought weighed heavy on your mind.
Little did you know it was the exact opposite. The only thing on Felix's mind right now was kissing you. He was just worried you hadn’t liked it since you didn’t say anything about it, but you also weren’t acting any different. He was so close to you he could almost taste you, remembering the way your lips did even for that brief moment.
You finished with his hair and set down the tools on the countertop beside you. You were still facing him, afraid to break the silence or to move from your place in front of him. All you could do was focus on each other.
Slowly and timidly, Felix leaned closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face and his scent get even stronger, and Felix gingerly let his lips find yours. Your eyes closed on instinct as you pressed yours to his in return.
‘Finally’ your inner voice said.
When Felix felt you reciprocate his kiss he let out a small whimper, you wouldn’t have even heard it if you weren’t so close to him. His hands fell to your waist and he shuffled even closer to you when you parted your legs further to allow him to make the connection between you. Your own hands were on his shoulders.
The beta didn’t go any further and settled for what you were giving him. He wanted to go at your pace, afraid he would do something to scare you off. While you did enjoy his kiss it suddenly was not enough for you so you took the initiative to gently run your tongue along his lip. When he felt your tongue he whimpered again this time a little louder. His sounds were doing something to you and without thinking you rolled your hips against his.
When your pelvis made contact with his it’s like the damn broke for him and he let the niceties fall. Felix started to ravage your mouth now with his own tongue, his hands gripping you tighter and his own hips doing a roll. Your breath caught in your throat as a quiet moan escaped your lungs.
He held you like that for a while, you both basically dry humping on the counter and tasting each other's mouths. Eventually it was becoming too much for the beta, he knew he would cum in his pants soon and he did not want to do that in front of you. He pulled back from your lips , only a few inches apart.
“Do you want to go further with me, baby?” He prayed you said yes. You had him so worked up he didn’t think jerking off would suffice anymore.
“Please, Lixie. Wanna feel you.”
Fuck
That was all he needed to lift you from the counter onto your feet, then he grabbed the bottom of your tank top and pulled it off of you. He groaned at the sight of your lace bra. You made grabby hands at his own shirt and pulled it over his head.
Felix was so defined. He was so tiny the thought had never even crossed your mind that he could also be ripped. You didn’t have much time to stare before he was turning you around to face the mirror with his hands on your hips and lips on your neck as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. “Can I take you like this, Baby? Let me see all of you?” He let a hand creep up your back to the clasp on your bra, but not yet taking it off.
You nodded, and answered “Uh huh. Yes lixie.” You were so ready for him. Honestly you had been wet since before you styled his hair. You would be surprised if Felix somehow didn't notice the sickly sweet pheromones that were draining out of you.
Felix unclasped your bra with nimble fingers and let it fall away from you. “Oh my god you're so beautiful.” He groaned out when he saw your bare chest. That same hand came to the front of your body and found your right breast, his thumb coming up to rub over your nipple. Now it was your turn to moan out, leaning closer to his chest. “Put your hands on the counter in front of you, baby.”
You did so without complaint and put your palms flat on the surface. He fondled your chest for a few minutes, taking in all the little sighs and moans you would let out as he watched your expressions in the mirror, finding it addicting. When you pushed your ass back into his crotch he let out an almost silent growl, nipping into the skin on your neck that he had been kissing. Suddenly he released you and went to the waistband of your pants, yanking them down your legs with no warning taking your underwear with them.
Felix didn’t know what was overtaking him but he didn’t mind it. He was never this assertive when having sex but something about you made him want to take control. Whether it was your omega status or just your submissive nature in general he couldn’t be sure. Probably a combination of both. You certainly were not complaining, liking this sudden dominant side of the man.
The beta pulled down his own pants and underwear next, eager to have the constricting material off. There you both were, naked and breathing heavy in anticipation. Your eyes were locked in the mirror as Felix reached under both of you and his fingers found your bundle of nerves. You gasped when he touched the sensitive area, eyes closing only for a second. He could feel just how drenched you were for him.
It was at this point that Felix realized he did not have a condom in here.’ Are you fucking kidding me?’ he momentarily chastises himself. “Ummm baby?” you hummed in response, waiting in anticipation. “I sorta don’t have a condom…”
“Oh.” you froze. “Th-then we can, umm, maybe we should stop.”
“Do you want to stop?” He desperately did not want to, he literally didn’t know if he could at this point.
“N-no but Chan and the doctor said-”
“But I can pull out.” He eagerly proposed, he had never been a rule breaker but right now he really did not give a shit. Consequences be damned. “Come on omega, it’ll feel so good.”
“I don’t know, lix…” You trailed off, unsure. "Channie wouldn't like it.." You didn’t want to disobey but one look at his pleading face behind you and you gave in. “If you promise to pull out…”
“I promise,” he said immediately. You nodded hesitantly giving him the go ahead as you readied yourself against the counter once more. "God, you are so hot."
The beta placed a kiss to your neck before taking his member in his hand and lining up with your entrance. He hadn’t prepped you like he should have but honestly when you were both that desperate that was the farthest thing from his mind. He let the tip run through your slick that had accumulated to make it an easier entry. Felix slowly pushed into you from behind, the stretch of him leaving a slight burn and you lightly hissed at the intrusion.
Felix on the other hand was in heaven. He had never felt so incredible from one push but fuck you were so tight. “Fuck omega, your pussy is so tight, nnggg oh my god I don’t know how I'll be able to move, fuck baby.” Felix couldn’t shut up as he filled you. His words were helping you though, as he stopped moving to let you adjust while he mumbled.
Between his jumbled (what you assumed were) praising words he laid sloppy kisses to your bare shoulders, his saliva leaving wetness along your skin. You were absolutely reeling; between feeling him within you and his total personality flip that left you with whiplash, your brain was turning into a muddled mess. It got even worse when he started rutting into you from behind, his hips grinding harshly against your ass.
His chest pushed you further into the counter and with the new angle his cock hit something deep inside you. Your back arched as you moaned aloud, your head falling forward in your ecstasy.
“F-fuuckk baby, you are so good f’ me. So so good, oh my god.” his deep voice was getting raspier by the second. Felix reached his hand around, his small fingers finding your clit again and rubbing sloppy circles. His other hand went to your breast and massaged your sensitive skin. “Look at me, baby, please look at me.”
You mustered all your willpower to bring your head up as much as you could, looking through your wet lashes to his gaze in the mirror. He looked absolutely wrecked, his eyes glossed over as he drooled on you. At the sight of him, fucked out because of you, you felt your orgasm approaching and approaching fast. “F-felix ‘m gonna- gonna cum.”
“Please cum for me. I need you to cum for me.” He sped up his thrusts, humping into you desperately. He was close to. The pulsing of his dick within you sent you over the edge, and you came with a loud cry of his name.
The squeezing of your heat on his member was enough for him. The beta knew he wouldn’t be able to pull out in time but he still tried, cumming half inside and the rest on your ass. The second he came his urges took over completely and without a warning, his teeth embedded themselves in your shoulder blade. When his teeth made contact in your skin you moaned as another orgasm washed over you.
You both were panting hard, you with tears cascading down your cheeks and Felix with your blood on his lips. It took you a moment to catch both of your breaths, the severity of what had happened finally registering in both of your minds.
“Felix…”
“Yeah”
“You came in me.”
“Yeah”
“Do you think Chan will be mad?”
“Yep”
“Oh. Did you mean to bite me?”
“Um, n-no.” He stammered, “ It had been on my mind since a few days ago when Chan said we could.”
‘Chan had said that?’
“But I didn't really expect to.” He grabbed a towel and began to wipe up the dripping mess he made on your skin. “I guess now is a good time to tell you that I'm kinda in love with you.” he chuckled nervously.
You spun around at his confession, not really shocked. You were able to feel his emotions when he bit down on you. It wasn’t as intense as when Chan bit into you - given he is an alpha and he bit your mating gland - but you could still sense the betas to an extent. “Felix…” you let more salty tears trail down your face. “I…I kinda love you too.”
Now he was crying, unable to contain his emotions and he fell into your embrace. Both of you were just little crybabies. Maybe that is why you got on so well together. It was easy to be vulnerable with him.
It was easy with Felix. So you both just hugged, and whispered to each other there in the bathroom. Both dreading the storm that was your alpha.
Sometime later after you had both redressed and Felix cleaned the wound on your shoulder, you both exited the bathroom. You shared a final kiss before parting ways. Felix going down the stairs and you going into Chan's office. The guilt was going to eat you alive if you didn’t tell him (assuming he couldn’t smell it on you when you came in).
You heard more faint talking so you knocked and waited. You heard him thank whoever he was talking to and hang up. “Come on in, baby.” He called out to you. You opened his door slowly and saw him sitting at his desk. His nostrils flared when you entered his office.
Chan obviously knew what you were doing with Felix, but he didn’t know the dirty secret you were keeping. Upon your entry into his office you were emitting a scent you hadn’t produced in a few days; intense guilt.
“What’s wrong, omega?” He immediately questioned you, reaching his hands out for you. When he noticed your hesitancy to grab his hand he stood from his seat and rested his hands on your shoulders, bending to be eye level with you. “Did something happen? Did Felix do something to you?”
“No!” you answered quickly. “I mean, not really.”
“Then what's wrong? You can't keep secrets from me, I can smell it on you.”
You looked down to the floor shamefully before giving him an answer. “When Felix and I were..intimate, he sorta.. He didn’t wear anything… and he umm he kinda came in me a little bit..” Your heart was pounding out of your chest when you saw the hardened look in the alphas face, his eyes darkening at your admittance.
“Is that so?” He seemed eerily calm, if you knew anything about alphas it’s that they are prone to rage so the fact that he didn’t immediately lash out was kind of scary to you. Little did you know he was furious.
“I’m really sorry, Channie. I-i know i wasn’t supposed to but-”
“Go to our room.” He interrupted you, removing his hands from you.
“W-what?”
He let out a low growl, “Go. to. Our. room. Omega, now.”
You gave him a look of alarm at his menacing tone, but still scurried out of his office and to his room. You shut the door softly and then sat on the bed, awaiting your fate. You hadn’t seen Chan angry yet, you didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t strike you as the type to scream and throw things like your father had been, but to be fair you had only known him for just over a week.
After about ten minutes Chan walked through the door into the space you occupied. He still had that intimidating demeanor but he seemed to be keeping his cool. He skipped the formalities as he spoke to you though, “ Take off your clothes and get in the shower.”
You stood from your seated position and started to strip, gently placing your clothes down in the hamper before slowly making your way to the bathroom. The whole time he just watched you as if you were a prey animal, and he was the big bad wolf.
Once you turned on the water to his shower it only took a moment for it to get hot and you entered the shower. It was a spacious area, with sliding glass and a shower head that rained down from the ceiling. Any other time you would have found solace in the luxurious bathroom, but right now all you felt was anxious.
Chan didn’t say anything as he slipped into the shower with you a few moments later. In fact he hadn’t said anything at all as he helped you wash your hair, he only shushed you when you went to speak. It wasn’t until he grabbed a loofa and began rubbing down your body from behind with it that he spoke. “ This is a nice bite mark here on your shoulder. Did Felix do that to you?” You went to nod in response but that wasn’t what the alpha was looking for, and he used one hand to reach onto the base of your head and gripped your hair tightly, causing you to let out a squeak. “I asked you a question, omega, and I expect an answer.”
“Yes, yes Alpha he did.” You gasped out, falling quickly into an uncharted subspace. Your inner omega only wanted to please your alpha now. His actions and words were shocking to you, he wasn’t being the Chan you knew him to be. You had seen small glimpses here and there but never to this extent.
“Did he bite you while he was cumming inside of you?” His grip on your hair tightened in one hand while his other brought the loofa down between your legs.
“Yes alpha.” You tilted your head back trying to get some slack but it proved pointless.
“Do you remember the conversation we had with the doctor yesterday, omega?” He knew you did, or else you wouldn’t have come to him so guiltily.
“Yes I re-remember” You stuttered, your insides fluttering with both excitement and anxiety.
“What did he say to us about when having sex?” His lips were kissing your injured skin on your shoulder where your new bite mark resided.
“To-to use protection until my results come in and I can go on-on birth control.” your panting was getting stronger as you tried to forget about the pain on your scalp.
“Mm that is right, baby.” chans tongue dug into your injured skin, causing you to let out a quiet cry. “Ya know what the rule was and still deliberately did otherwise. What am I going to do with you?” It was a rhetorical question meant to tease you. You started to cry at his words.
“ m’ so sorry Alpha. Please don’t be angry. M’ sorry.” He leaned over to lick up the salty tears that were coming down steadily now.
“Oh baby, I know you're sorry. Alpha knows.” you perked up slightly but it all came crashing down when he said his next words, “But just because you're sorry doesn’t mean there are no consequences.”
He dropped the sponge to the ground and that hand grabbed both of your wrists holding them together behind your back and pushing you against the cold tile, your chest smushing against the wall. “Ahh Chan!”
“Spread your legs. Let me in there, omega.” you did as he said, and he wasted no time in rubbing the tip of his cock along your sensitive folds. “Funny enough, I had just talked to the doctor on the phone before you came into my office, stinking like guilt and cum.” The alpha pressed you harder against the tile. “And it turns out you wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant right now, those suppressants are running crazy all over your body and hormones.”
Without warning he pushed into your heat, your sore walls engulfing him completely. He was so big. Even though you had been prepped by Felix so recently, taking the alpha was a whole other ball game. The only time he had really fucked you was on your heat, where your body was ready to accommodate his length.
“R-really?” you asked in a moan, both in pleasure and pain.
“Uh huh. How lucky is that?” He started at a brutal pace, the skin of his pelvis slapping against your ass noisily. “Still doesn’t excuse your actions. The both of you have to make it up somehow.”
“Please, m’ sorry.” you pleaded between moans and squeaks. His cock always filled you so well.
“This bite mark he left you sure is deep. You know Felix would only bite someone he loves.” Your heart fluttered at his remark, and it seemed your pussy did too. “Fuck so tight. Did you know that, omega? Your pussy tightened on me so you must know. Felix loves you, and now I'm sure you love him too huh?”
“Yes alpha!” you cried louder as his wet heaving chest was pressed against your back.
“Maybe that should be your punishment. Yeah that's it, since both of you want to disobey me then that's the consequence.’ your eyes widened, having an inkling of what he would say next.
“You aren’t allowed to touch him, at all, until I say so. No kissing, no fucking, no so much as brushing fucking fingers with him until I've deemed it acceptable. Fuck maybe I won’t even let him speak to you from now on.”
“Alpha no!” You tried to protest but he only sped up his thrusts, making you only be able to moan and cry. Fuck he was fucking you so good. Better than anything you have ever felt. He had you so deep in space you could barely focus on anything than that thin line between pain and pleasure.
“Too fucking late. You stay the fuck away from him, do you hear me, omega? Damn, I'm gonna cum. He won’t so much as breathe in your direction until I say so.” The alpha let go of your hair and you sucked in a large breath at the release. He opted for gripping your hips roughly, his fingers surely to leave bruises.
Your arms were free now so with one hand you braced yourself against the cold surface, the other was reaching behind you to grab at your mate, craving even an ounce of comfort as you were nearing your high. You made contact with the skin on his waist and dug your fingers into him.
When you grabbed him the alpha let go and released inside of you with a loud growl, the copious amount overflowing against his length. His knot inflated within you, locking you into place with him. His growl set something inside of you aflame and without warning you came too, a loud wail leaving your lips and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You wretch your head to the side bearing your neck for your alpha, giving him your complete submission. He almost took the opportunity to reclaim you, but knew you had enough biting for one day.
Chan stilled his hips, breathing heavy in your ears as he let you come down. He watched the cum fall down from where you were joined and be washed away with the water. After a moment when his knot had deflated, he slowly pulled out of you, kissing the back of your neck and whispering praises. He knew it would be a long night of aftercare.
A/n: True colors are starting to come out a lil more, not everything is all sunshine and rainbows
Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!
Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!
Beta read by my wonderful bumble bee @ayejaii
©doitforbangchan
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Milky bath with flowers
Geta/Caracalla/Marcus x wife!reader
warning : fluff, kisses, bath toys in ancient rome (no spicy ones sorry), characters were written before the movie came out
Summary : Emperors and generals went bathing like everyone else in Rome. Maybe not on public baths or in pools, but rather in private pavements with pretty marble floors and statues of gods. But when your beloved wife has already claimed the bath, some things go differently than simply washing.
info : yes the second work to the three and i thought to myself while showering hey why not do something like this so here it is and enjoy reading :)
masterlist
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marcus
His body was always covered in dirt, the dusty ground from the campaigns, dried blood on his hands armor and face and sand in his washed hair after weeks and months on the return journey.
So it was all the better not only to finally be able to take off the few washes with bowls and cloths, but to wash himself completely in the large bath.
Unbeknownst to him, there was already someone in the large room, someone who was closest to his heart, the reason why he prayed to the gods that he would come back to her from every fight.
Warm pleasant water surrounded her, flowers in various colors floated around her and spread an ethereal pleasant smell, the water with milk added creating an unnatural yet pleasant water color following the example of Cleopatra.
Until her eyes settled on her husband a simple cloth tied around his hips a body of fine devinietren muscles, scars and slight injuries, dark hair a mix of dark pepper and salt when she looked at the strands a pretty sign of his aging. ,,A mermaid has strayed into the water, what am I doing?" his question echoed lightly in the large room and a smirk came to her lips as he slowly climbed into the water before placing the towel on the edge and swimming over to her.
Steam rose from the water as new wood was added under the fixture to make it more comfortable for the reigns, ,,What could you do, my dear General? A kiss as a sign of your devotion," she suggested and her hands placed themselves on his upper body, feeling the muscles, the strength and willpower that dwelled within him.
She heard his slight smile as she ran her hands over the various scars, smaller and larger, before he took her hands in his rough hands and moved them down her arms to her hips, ,,If it's a kiss you want, you should have one," he replied before he smiled and complied with her request for a devoted kiss.
She let herself fall easily into his arms knowing he was holding her, but she could still feel his almost proud grin, they were both proud of each other. She knew she was his heart she was his life the reason he came back every time and he knew she was his haven when he was haunted by nightmares of battle when the uncertainty of sleep threatened to take him over she was always there for him.
Before he broke away and his fingers stroked her cheek, ,,I have the prettiest mermaid for a wife, she has stolen my heart." From time to time he enjoyed her flattering look, her gaze was followed by a kiss and she splashed him with water.
But Marcus had other plans for her to swim to the edge, he took the soft sponge and indicated for her to sit on the stairs, ,,My dear husband is aware that I am no longer a child?" she asked as he placed the sponge on her leg and held it while she relaxed.
Despite his rough exterior, killing people to win and using swords better than anyone else, he was extremely gentle. He knew exactly how hard he had to wipe the sponge over her skin, how pleasant he made it for her and left kisses on her skin when it was a little too hard.
The divine sight of her wet hair, the individual drops of water that slid over her naked body and the flowers that surrounded her did everything for Marcus. ,,I am aware of that, my heart, but let me be your humble servant," he replied, a smile creeping onto his lips and she let a hand wander over his curls, which had grown a little longer since the last time. Before she let him go on, her sigh of pleasure came over her lips every now and then as he massaged her muscles and kissed her body.
The conversations of simple business to new home furnishings were interrupted every now and then by touches and kisses as they enjoyed the bath, enjoyed each other and the blossoms of love continued to float around the roses long after they had left the bath hand in hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Geta
An emperor did not dirty his hands, never would a man of his status, his stature, his influence soil his own hands with blood. Giving orders and passing judgment was more what he did and yet Geta also had to take a bath in the large extra area of the palace, a bathing area, an area full of baths, full of exotic plants with statues of gods, statues of him and his brothers in various poses and a statue clad in gold of his wife the Empress of Rome the most desirable of all the beautiful beauties the empire had to offer.
But above all she belonged to him and whenever the golden sun went down in the evening, Rome slowly lay down and ate his dinner, Geta found himself in the large bathing area, a simple tunic wrapped around his body, but as he moved towards the large pool he saw that someone was making the water move.
A body, a body familiar to him was in his bath if it was his brother they would have argued enruet but instead a satisfied look settled on his bright eyes. ,,My empress takes a bath without me and doesn't even invite me in, how disobedient,” his voice rang out and she turned to him, startled that someone had come in, as no one else was allowed in except the emperor himself and she relaxed again.
Swimming over to him, she saw him take off his clothes and come to her, a familiar sight swimming towards her after he had been submerged once, his white face make-up running and the black around his eyes making it look like another mask before he wiped it away.
,,I hope my Emperor can forgive me…I was afraid for a moment that it was your brother and I would have to call you,” she admitted and felt his hand move up her thigh, soft skin smooth through the milky water with yellowish and white daffodils specially grown for the Empress, her favorite flowers.
She saw him roll his eyes, he was hardly ever on speaking terms with his elder brother Caracalla but it flattered him when she admitted that her husband was her salvation.
Simple flattery between them but you had to keep an emperor of the world happy in one way or another. ,,You are forgiven and you must be unconcerned only the two of us are here,” the blond murmured and she felt his fingers go up further, a smug expression as he ignored her midsection and instead ran his fingers over her lips before engaging her in a kiss.
Greedily, he took her lips, rasped her words and the two bodies drifted lightly against each other through the water, lightly pushing aside the flowers and coming to rest at the edge of the pool.
His lips broke away from hers, but his hands remained on her body, running down her cheek to her neck, seeming to enjoy her steady pulse, ,,I'm always soothed when you're with me, my love,” she assured him, stroking his curly blonde hair, feeling him nuzzle his head against her hand for a moment and knowing that he enjoyed it when she played with his curls.
Especially when they lay together in the big four-poster bed after a bath a few hours later and he put his hands around her and didn't let go while she ran her hands through his hair until he fell asleep.
The quiet moment pleasant between them was the excitement of the Colosseum behind them both, his excitement was so much enjoyed that Rome's fate lay on his and his brother's shoulders, war had to be fought and a kingdom had to be preserved.
It was all the nicer when they could spend their time together in the evening, ,,The fight today I think the wagering was unpleasant” he joked and told her about the rumors and gossip of the senate as his fingers casually wandered into her hair and he took out the hairpin and her hair now touched the water.
During the day she always had it up because of the sun and heat to avoid sweating even more, but in the bath she had actually known to apply a special tincture that shouldn't get wet until it was absorbed, but now she could forget about it. ,,You're even prettier this way,” he said and ran his hand over her strand of hair, playing with it by wrapping the long needle around it and watching the water drip down it while her hand played with his curls from time to time.
It was a slow evening, an evening in which she let him talk, enjoyed the little games and massages between them, the kisses he initiated and was grateful that he had had her warm bathrobe brought so that they arrived in bed together warmed up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caracalla
Geta's older brother, Caracalla, was a young man who, even though he was the most powerful of the current world, had completely different interests. He was not concerned with the people, the war was an amusement for him and victories were a matter of course.
No, what mattered to him was his amusement and that he wasn't bored because there was nothing worse than being bored, a wlet's existence in a long world was bad because he was always looking for entertainment.
Not only in his beloved wife, the Empress of Rome, his love and his everything and this entertainment, this amusement, was also part of his life and, as on this evening, also in the large bath which was also in the emperor's palace. The bath was specially equipped for him with beautiful ornaments and decorations a favorite gods and past people so that his imagination was stimulated, including a statue of his wife in a godly disguise.
But that's not why he ran into the bath with his things in his arms - on the contrary, he gripped the wood in his arms tightly and looked from afar at the naked person in the large basin. ,,Attention! The fleet is attacking!” he shouted and heard the surprised sound of his wife before he landed in the water and the wooden toys scattered on the water and individual flowers almost threatened to drown.
Colorful flowers that resembled a rainbow many colors were his wife's favorite even though he preferred blood red he liked her devotion to color.
After hastily emerging, he laughed when he saw that his waves from the jump had completely overwhelmed her and she brushed the strands of hair from her face, ,,A surprise attack is not a bad tactic,” she admitted before she lunged and splashed water at him, causing his make-up to melt and him to spit water.
The two young adults could be heard laughing as she swam closer to him and fished the sponge out of the water she had been using just minutes before and began wiping the makeup off his face while his jittery fingers ran over her body.
From light tickling movements that made her grin to something lewd, she felt him run his hands over her chest to get a reaction from her, always watching what she did, how her gaze changed, whether her lips moved up or down, and especially whether she did the same.
,,My battle emperor forgets I'm busy, doesn't he?” she murmured and rubbed a little harder over his cheek to get the last of the white face make-up off, which he answered with a shrug and a playful dive. She rolled her eyes and still kept an eye out for him, she liked his playful manner and knew that sometimes he was just a bit more playful than his brother, but still the co-emperor of rome.
She had respect for him, but just as often she had to stand up for him when Geta went too far with his sayings and especially his looks and actions, which made those moments of peace and togetherness all the more important. ,,A bestial water creature under me, what am I supposed to do?” she asked loud enough for him to understand and let out a laugh as she felt him dive under her and throw her up very lightly, landing in the water again.
Once again the flowers floated everywhere and the wooden figures sloshed their own way as Caracalla took her hand and gave it a gentle kiss, ,,Forgive me my beloved but this creature is now defeated,” he chuckled and she ran her hand over his blond hair before kissing him on the forehead and taking one of the wooden figures.
It was actually a toy for children, for the future heir of Rome, but Caracalla still enjoyed it and she steered one of the ships towards him while he took one of the catapults and placed a rose on it, ,,And sunk!” he exclaimed, and the blast flew through the air and hit her ship with pinpoint accuracy, sinking it.
They fought a toy battle over several waves and waves until there were hardly any flowers left in the water as they were all shot out of the water and she saw that Caracalla was getting bored again.
Which is why she grabbed the warm tunics and decided to play a different kind of game, a game that could last all night and that she would never get tired of and that the bath would only be the beginning of a battle-filled devotion, that much they both knew when their lips found each other again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#gladiator ii#gladiator 2#marcus acacius#general acacius#marcus acacius x reader#general acacius x reader#emperor geta#emperor geta x reader#geta x reader#emperor caracalla#emperor caracalla x reader#caracalla x reader#reader is female
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MOVED TO @seratopia
miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - touchy touchy
modern ceo au! thinking about how miguel touches you so often around the office that a random guy decides to do something about it
You and Miguel don’t share a workplace. He’d end up being your boss anyway, and as much as you love spending time with him, it’s not good to have a partner that also gives you your paycheck. (Plus, distance can equal longing.)
Miguel constantly insist that you stay at home, and that he’d provide you with everything you could ask for but... feminism???( /j ) You have your own job conveniently down the street from Miguel’s office; it’s more of a hobby than it really is a job, but it gets you money.
The whole building knows you as “Miguel’s Wife”; you visit often. Sometimes your visits are a surprise, others it’s when you have nothing to do so you just hang by Miguel all day. You’re blessed with free food from the cafeteria, plus the gym. It’s fun to watch Miguel work out.
Though, today was... funny.
Whenever Miguel thinks you guys are alone, he’s touchy. However, to Miguel, “alone” is just being in a room with less than 6 people in it. So, needless to say, his employees have seen things.
You’re just so pretty, so cute to him, he can’t help but just worm his way over to you whenever in sight.
Things along the lines of kisses, waist grabbing, thigh grabbing, hugs, back hugs, and even ass-slapping are a common sight to see when you’re around the office. Miguel truly, genuinely believes that he’s being sly, but that’s probably because everyone’s too scared/nice to say anything about it. Perks of being a CEO.
No one really tells the new recruits about it though, it’s just a you-see-it-and-get-used-to-it type of thing.
So imagine your surprise when someone in the office pulls you aside one day and asks if Miguel is sexually assaulting you.
Miguel’s been lingering his hands all over you today in particular, boldly sliding his big hand down towards your ass. You elbow him a little when he gets too close though, especially around a few people.
“¿Por favor, querida?“ He whines, slithering his hand back onto you.
“Oh my gosh, Miguel, no. Wait until we’re out of work.“
All is well, but Miguel has to tend to a few things, so you take it upon yourself to take a break at the cafeteria. Might as well bring him a drink while you’re at it.
Halfway through your walk there, some guy you’ve seen around taps on your shoulder and pulls you aside. He’s relatively young, has this assertive look to him. Among the quirky pins on his shirt pocket, you find an ID card labeled “INTERN.”
The worry on his own face makes you a little anxious.
“Ma’am, are you okay?“ He asks, meeting his eyes with yours. He looks serious, peering from left to right as if a secret was being exchanged.
“Uh- yeah, what do you mean?“
His voice is low, almost a whisper. “Girl, I’ve seen Miguel grope you... do you want me to call the police? I have a video right here as pr-“
A gust of relief washes over you, and you almost start to laugh. You watch as the guy starts to pull up his phone, before you stop him.
“Oh, no no no, it’s okay!“ You exclaim. “Miguel’s my husband, he’s just clingy!“
The man raises an eyebrow, concern lacing his voice. “You aren’t just saying that, right? Like, you’re really okay?”
“Yes, don’t worry. If he was actually bothering me, then I’d tell him.“ You chuckle, just to ease up the serious air a little bit.
“Ah, well if you say so... If anything happens, just let me know.“ He says.
“Yeah, thank you for the concern, though.“ You smile, and he smiles back, walking away around the corner where you assume he came from.
With a little laugh, you continue your walk towards the cafeteria, thinking deeply about the interaction. It might be time for you to tell Miguel to stop touching you often around the office, as much as you enjoy it. He’d hate despise it though.
If it weren’t for you being around so often, work life might not be as pleasant for his employees. You don’t think Miguel truly notices, but he starts getting huffy and puffy when you aren’t around to see him; people get a little more scared of him when he has this scowl on his face.
“Who was that?“
You violently flinch, yelping out loud. In one swift motion, you swerve around, your heartbeat only easing down when you realize it’s just Miguel.
“Miguel, honey, you gotta stop scaring me.“
“...Sorry. Who was that?“ He asks, obvious curiosity in his voice. Almost like it was muscle memory, he slips both hands onto your sides, reminding you of the topic at hand. (literally lmao)
“Just some guy... you know what he asked me, though?“
“If it was on a date he’s getting fired.“ Miguel promises darkly, squeezing at the fat of your sides.
“No, Miguel. He asked if you were assaulting me. Even asked me if he wanted me to call the police.“
“Assaulting?“
“Yeah, because you keep on doing things like this-“ You place your hands on his. “- to me every time I visit!“
Like a guilty puppy, Miguel pouts to the side, reluctantly slipping his hands away from you. It takes you everything not to laugh at him as he grumbles to himself, that signature scowl building onto his face.
“It’s fine, Miguel. You can still touch me. Just tone it down a bit when we’re around people, yeah?“
Miguel nods, slowly inching his fingers towards your hands. “Yeah. M’sorry.”
“Miguel, it’s fine. It’s not like I hate it, it might just be uncomfortable for your employees.“
Miguel sighs, dipping down his head to rest on your shoulder. He catches a whiff of your body wash, sweet and comforting. You giggle, a sound that Miguel would kill to hear for everyday of his life. You slide your own hands over onto his broad back, tracing your fingers against the muscle through his shirt.
“I just... I think I love you too much.“ He mumbles, and your ears almost strain to hear it.
“Awh, you know I love you too.“ You sweetly reply, squeezing him into a tight hug. He’s so darling, compressing you tight against him.
“Just let me have this, and I’ll leave you be for a bit, hm?“ Miguel mutters into your ear, indulgently smoothing his big hands over your little back. Chills run up your spine when he presses a smooch to your ear.
“Yeah, we’ll see how long that’ll last...“ You chuckle, letting him do what he wants for the time being.
It takes Miguel longer than he really should to let you go, adoration clearly written on his face as he detaches his arms from you.
“You wanna grab coffee with me before you have to go back?“ You ask, beaming at Miguel with a natural smile.
Miguel doesn’t know what to do with himself. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
You break off into a walk through the hallway, and Miguel has to remind himself every minute or so to keep his hands off.
. . .
It didn’t work.
Already in line for coffee, Miguel’s chin rests on top of your head, acting as if the previous conversation was entirely wiped clean from his memory.
You sigh, knowingly speaking to the barista as if you didn’t have a 6′9 CEO strapped to your back like a koala.
“Baby, what did we say?“
“Sorry...“
miguel is 6′9 because i said so and because of this tiktok
© 𝒄𝒐𝒔𝒎𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔.
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara x y/n#atsv miguel#atsv x reader#atsv#atsv miguel o'hara#spiderman#spiderverse#spiderman across the spiderverse#x reader#reader insert#fluff#romance#ceo au#cosmosis-writes ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎
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Obsessed - Part 9 (Azriel x Reader)
Summary: After Azriel's mother reprimands him, he orchestrates another coincidence that leads to a reconciliation.
Warnings: Y/n being a bit naive and delulu. Azriel being the hopeless billionaire still in love because we all deserve a man like this. Azriel saying fluffy and corny things because we deserve men who say such things to us.
Word count: 3.6k
Click here for Obsessed (Masterlist)
****
“You insensitive little shit.” Such a pleasant woman, his mother. “How dare you violate someone’s privacy?”
“Mum, I-”
“And this is how you approached her?” Clearly, Azriel’s mother had no intention of letting him speak.
“I-”
“There are many ways to meet new people, Azriel. The most common one being that you could’ve gone up to her and politely introduced yourself.”
“She would’ve rejected me.”
“She should definitely reject you after the stunt you pulled.”
“How-”
“The audacity. . .” Needless to say, Azriel received a scolding for the next seventeen minutes. “Leave her alone, Azriel. You’ve hurt her immeasurably. Your devotion does not compensate for that.”
“I want her in my life.”
“Then start by giving her some space. Let her sort out her feelings.”
“She’s hurting.”
“You hurt her, in case you forgot.” Like his mother would ever let him forget. “And don’t creep around in your building’s common areas just to see her.”
“Yes.”
“If I hear anything otherwise, I will stop baking pineapple cake for Christmas.”
For those of you unfamiliar with Azriel, this was the most effective way to threaten him. With his favourite dessert. Or the lack thereof.
“Yes, mum.” But Azriel’s mind had already begun concocting ideas. He was the Chairman of Umbra for fuck’s sake. If he could run a billion-dollar empire, he could definitely get Y/n back.
“If you run a billion dollar empire then I gave birth to you. Mark my words, Azriel. If you loiter around her like an aimless fool, I will burn my recipe book.”
His mother was a pleasant woman. Her threats did not involve bodily harm. But whether he’d be able to have his mother’s homemade desserts was still debatable. “I’ll call you later. It’s my turn for the appointment.”
“Bye, mum.”
“Maintain your distance.” And she ended the call.
Azriel supposed Y/n would definitely like his mother as a mother-in-law. His mother would have a daughter to dote on and he could simply watch the two of them chatter while sipping coffee.
Y/n had an internship. At a university in another European country. As a research assistant to a professor. For three months. Then she’d return to her own university in the city where they first met and fell in love.
Well, he fell in love and she was unaware but not to worry, everything would be fine.
****
Azriel knew for certain that his events management abilities were applause worthy. Why wouldn’t they be?
Because the way he orchestrated his meeting with Y/n and ended up being her neighbour was something.
And now, he’d orchestrate a few more events.
Y/n’s internship had ended.
It was a good thing for her professor that he was a well mannered, decent human being. Else, Azriel would’ve definitely intervened in a manner that wouldn’t have ended well.
And now, she was back in the same city. She had just begun the second year of her master’s program.
Wonderful.
In three weeks, the reclusive chairman of Umbra would give his first guest lecture in a university.
Was it a coincidence that this was the same university Y/n attended? Absolutely not.
Because Azriel did not wait around for things to happen. He made things happen.
That’s how he reached where he was and he was definitely not going to be discouraged.
She’d begun to shine again during her internship. Friends, both new and old, helped her navigate life.
He hadn’t contacted her per his mother’s instructions.
Some days, he’d just randomly opened their chat. He’d see her online and sometimes, he’d type but he never sent a message. And he never received one either.
Azriel sighed.
He looked at his choice of clothes for his guest lecture. The topic was his latest collaboration with Rhysand’s Velaris Corp to acquire Hewn Inc.
He had to look so jaw droppingly handsome that Y/n would fly into his arms and they could run off into the sunset together.
Black was his colour.
He knew it.
And Y/n found him hot in black.
So it was decided. Black trousers, sweater, long trench coat.
That’s how he found himself on the stage of an auditorium, holding a mic, giving a lecture, and answering questions posed by eager and foolish students alike.
The lecture had ended. Some students and faculties stayed back for follow up questions. Azriel patiently answered all of them when he saw her.
Y/n.
And he was hers.
Immediately and undoubtedly hers.
What a sad time it was when he was not hers. A sad time spanning twenty-nine years of his life.
“Excuse me.” And Azriel made his way towards her. But then he stopped when her gaze found him.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
He wasn’t prepared for this.
He thought he was but he wasn’t.
He hated it.
The sight of her entire body seized by the grief of his betrayal. Her emotions all over her face for him to read that Y/n had most definitely not moved on from him.
Someone covered her from his line of sight. A face turned back with the glare of a demon. Nesta Archeron.
He sighed. And Nesta seemed offended that her glare had resulted in a sigh. She turned back and took his Y/n away.
Azriel looked up at the sky as he pulled out his phone. He still didn’t look at the device.
The evening pinks and violets painted the sky. Clouds were scarce. The moon was readying for its appearance. And Azriel was brooding.
A call came. A different ringtone. The one he’d set for her.
“How many more lies?” A soft voice whispered. He knew she was referring to him not telling about his designation in Umbra. She’d thought him an ordinary employee.
“As many as it takes to ensure your safety.” He breathed.
“Why are you here?”
“Guest lecture.”
“And it happened to be right here?”
“Yeah.” It would happen anywhere she was. Guest lectures, conferences, and whatever the fuck that would give him a chance to see her and breathe the same air as her.
A pause. The wind whispered something to him and danced with his hair for a while. “You’re beautiful.”
Silence.
The call continued. And he felt oddly chaotic and calm.
“Go away, Azriel.”
“I cannot take impossible requests.”
“Then take impossible orders and make it possible.” Y/n was firm. “Leave me alone.”
“I cannot.” And he knew his voice was shaky.
“Why?”
“I need to know you’re safe, comfortable, and happy. It’s all that keeps me sane in your absence.”
“What if I meet someone else?”
His breath hitched. “Safe, comfortable, and happy, Y/n. That’s where my selfishness for you extends.”
“And you’re selfless in other areas?”
“You ended our relationship, Y/n, not my feelings. I will be jealous. I will be angry. But I will prioritise your safety, comfort, and happiness.”
He’d limit it to that. Let her think that his feelings were warm and fuzzy like that favourite blanket of hers and not a mad obsession luring him into an abysmal terrain.
She did not need to know that he’d dismember and torture and slowly kill anybody who thought they had a chance with her.
Azriel heard a sob. Some core part of him cracked. He looked in the direction where she had disappeared to with Nesta. She was not there.
He wanted to comfort her.
Hold her and tell her not to cry because he’d make it all better.
But he was the reason for her tears.
So he remained silent.
Her cries slowly stopped and he heard footsteps through the phone. “What are you really doing here?”
“I want to see you.” The footsteps paused. She was probably standing somewhere.
“You saw me.” She immediately threw the words as if they were an accusation.
“Didn’t see you enough.”
She remained silent. Azriel really couldn’t believe he’d said that. He was a master at controlling his emotions. At least, until Y/n.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Umbra?”
“I wanted to hog you for myself. Not for the man who owns Umbra.”
“You are that man.”
“I’ve always been Azriel. I did not own Umbra all my life.” The pain of being an illegitimate child suddenly came to the forefront of his mind.
“And now it’s an inseparable part of you.”
“Not as inseparable as you think.” Because he’d leave it all behind for her.
“I liked you, Azriel.” Everything paused. The pain in her voice made it all too evident that she still liked him. “I really did but this. . . This is just. .”
“I want another chance, Y/n.”
“How can you ask such a thing?”
“Another chance with you knowing the full extent of what I will do for you.”
“And what is this extent?”
“There’s no extent.”
“What?”
“There’s no extent, no line, no limit on what I will do for you.” And even if there was an extent he couldn’t recall right now, he knew Y/n was not unreasonable enough to demand for it. And if she was, then he’d simply comply.
“Does that extent also include violating my privacy? Disrespecting me? As long as you’ve secured my safety and happiness?”
“There’s no line I won’t-”
“The problem wasn’t the line. The problem wasn’t Umbra. The problem was you hiding it all from me. The problem was you not asking my permission, not considering my feelings, while digging up everything about me like a mole rat.”
Azriel remained stunned.
How had this slipped past him?
He’d thought he was careful with her feelings. And so, he’d resolved to only tell the good things. Things that wouldn’t be troublesome for her while wanting to know all about her and her problems so that he could eliminate them and make life easier for her.
But was this a true relationship where he carried the burdens and she carried the joy?
Weren’t they supposed to carry their lives together no matter the good or the bad?
“You hide things from me but you want to know everything about me so you just get someone to find it all.”
“I’m truly sorry, Y/n. I should’ve told you everything.” And since he hadn’t, he’d lost her. “I was desperate to have every bit of you.” But that desperation hadn’t entitled him to all those bits. “I’m sorry for violating your privacy.” He should’ve waited to know everything that comprised this wonderful woman. “I couldn’t wait. And I’ve now lost you.”
“What am I even supposed to say?”
“You don’t have any obligation to say anything.”
“I have no obligation to listen to you.” No, she didn’t. This call was just an act of mercy she granted owing to her own feelings for him that she couldn’t control.
“Thank you for listening.”
“I suppose you have more to say.”
“I do.” He really wanted to say these words at their wedding.
“Let’s meet.” She sniffled. “I want to know what exactly you know about me.” In the background, he could hear Nesta telling Y/n against it.
“When are you free?” She gave him a time and venue. And Azriel motioned to the assistant who’d accompanied him that they were leaving. “I’ll meet you there.”
Silence prevailed. The only sound was his own footsteps.
“Why are you not ending the call?”
“I’ve never ended any of our calls.” Because he’d always wanted to hear her voice. Even if she had anything to say at the last minute. They’d done that many times.
“Bye.” And he couldn’t help his sad sigh. Azriel walked over to the venue even though there was time.
****
Y/n was getting the lecture of her life. Nesta was incessantly rambling while she got ready.
She’d spotted Azriel outside the Department of Business Studies after her classes had ended and she was heading back to her flat shared with her friend.
“You have to be careful with him. Are you listening to me?” Nesta placed her hands on Y/n’s shoulders.
“Yeah.” She slumped against her best friend.
“And it does not matter if he’s devilishly handsome or sexy or you had the best sex of your life with him or if you like him or love him or he likes you or loves you or-”
“I’ll be fine.” Nesta really didn’t have to remind her about Azriel’s attractiveness.
“Really?” Nesta didn’t say it out loud but she knew her well enough. Her friend definitely thought that Y/n would reconcile with Azriel.
“Yeah.”
Nesta took her in a hug. “Got your pepper spray?”
“Mhm.”
“So the first thing you do is to spray it. Spray it all over his unnecessarily pretty face.” Y/n remembered the first time she’d talked to Nesta about Azriel and she’d used the words ‘unnecessarily pretty’ to describe him.
“I’m going there to talk.”
“Then spray it on his eyes and ears.”
“All right.” Y/n chuckled. She knew her friend was furious at this man she’d never even met.
It had taken her a while to revive herself. The depth of her feelings for Azriel revealed itself to her only upon his betrayal.
And she felt like she was heading to war. It probably was, in a sense.
Y/n reached the park ten minutes before but she loitered around, her nerves wracking and snapping against her, telling her to leave.
“Y/n.” She’d recognise that voice. She was weak for him like that.
Y/n turned and saw him dressed for a funeral. In black.
Any other day and she would’ve thought he looked hot but today when she was a miserable mess with no rein over her feelings, she worried for herself.
Was he going to kill her and chop her body and scatter the pieces in some sewer like he’d done with her heart?
“Azriel.” Yep. She sounded weak. Affected.
He took a step forward, the leaves crunching beneath his shoe. Y/n took a step back.
This conversation was definitely going to be difficult.
“Would you like me to remain at a distance?” He asked, gently. And she was reminded of the times when this man simply clung to her frame because he didn’t want to let go. In bed, the bath, all around their apartments.
“Yes.” She breathed. “What do you know about me?���
And he narrated her own story.
About her pathetic family, her horrifying mother, her counselling sessions from high school, all the people who hurt her, all the people she’d ever befriended.
He knew everything that had ever been documented about her.
At the end of his revelation, she simply closed her eyes and sighed.
“I won’t tell anyone.” He promised solemnly. Was his word worth anything now? Or wasn’t it?
“Am I supposed to trust that?” She dryly asked. And with those words, she’d hurt him. She saw the hurt painted on his face like a dark stain. And fury pumped through her veins.
“You’re not entitled to feel hurt.” How dare he pretend he was the victim here? “Not after this.” She stood up and grabbed her sling bag and phone. Azriel immediately stood up. “I. .” But she really had nothing to say.
Y/n didn’t know what he was going to do with all that information. But maybe it didn’t matter since he had the resources to do that to anyone. He could keep tabs on her for the rest of her miserable life.
Even then, no matter how long and hard she thought about it, she didn’t mind.
She didn’t mind him keeping tabs on her.
She didn’t mind him knowing where she was and what she was doing. She’d told him enough of that herself while they were together and happy.
In a way, she understood it. Maybe she even liked it.
Y/n was honestly only bothered by him hiding this. By him digging her past out of a box she wasn’t ready to open in front of him.
Was this devotion?
Or simply madness?
“I won’t tell you that I wouldn’t do it if we went back in time because I would.” Oh, he was hell bent on making this difficult.
“You could’ve told me.” She whispered. “That you were having me followed.”
Y/n closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before she continued.
“And you should’ve waited for me to tell you everything.” All that fucked up part of her, a product of her mother’s parenting skills. “You have the nerve to dig into my past and yet, you kept yours hidden. You’ve kept your life hidden from me and I respected that.”
Y/n held up a hand when she saw Azriel open his mouth to speak. He had such a beautiful mouth. She wanted him to kiss her.
“I’m not interested in you knowing everything and that too without my knowledge and permission while I know nearly nothing about you. And before you ask, information on Google does not count.”
“I’m an illegitimate child.” What?
Y/n remained shocked as Azriel told her his story. Of how his father and brothers mistreated him and his mother, how he killed them before he took over Umbra.
“Why did you tell me? You had no obligation.” Gods, she really was weak for this man. And for him to be so emotionally vulnerable in front of her made her want to hug him.
“Because now I realise that a romance is also to be a partnership. It shouldn’t be me knowing everything while you live obliviously. You have as much right to know.”
Yep, she was doomed.
Her resolve was faltering. And she was feeling and falling.
The hot chocolate in front of her that she’d ordered as a formality was cooling down.
“One chance.” She whispered, praying silently that he wouldn’t break her heart again. “And that will be your last one.”
****
Azriel knew failure. Many different types of it. He’d known it when he failed his first test. When he lost his first fight. When his applications were rejected. When he had been rejected by friends, girlfriends, his father, his half-brothers, his stepmother.
So much had been taken from him. And he’d been pushed to the edge of the world before he found the resolve to stand up. It was the sight of his mother cringing in front of his father.
And then he concocted his wonderful five-year plan. At the end of it, Umbra was his. His mother, safe and comfortable. His father and half-brother, dead. And that wretch of a stepmother, practically exiled.
And then he’d lost Y/n, truly and completely.
Azriel wanted Y/n. He’d spent the best few months of his life with her.
She made him endlessly happy and he tried his best to do the same for her.
He knew her presence in his life was a privilege. But now it seemed like he’d never taken that privilege seriously and had never respected it in the manner he should have.
So when she gave him one last chance, he’d been revived. His posture changed, eyes widening. Every movement right then felt as though he was rising from the grave or a coffin and returning to the land of the living.
Honesty. That would now be an integral part of this relationship. There would be no excuses. And then he remembered something he’d caused.
Azriel debated telling her but since secrecy had never worked in his favour in this relationship, he made his decision. “So, remember your ex?”
Y/n frowned. “Which one?”
“The one from college.” He was unprecedentedly nervous.
“Yeah.”
“The one roped into a tax fraud.”
“Yeah?” Y/n blinked and leaned forward. “You did that?”
Azriel nodded quietly. She slumped back into her seat and sighed. “Well, he’s no longer my concern. Do I have to convince you to move on from him?”
“He hasn’t gotten enough.”
“And he deserves no effort from anybody, the good or the bad. Anything else you want to tell me?”
“I’ve never had a proper relationship before.” Her eyes widened and she kept looking at him as if she’d never seen him before. Why would she do that?
“How come?”
Why was she asking such a question? Wasn’t it obvious why he’d never been in a proper, serious relationship. “Because I’d never met you before.”
Silence prevailed. Y/n looked away in that adorable manner of hers, clearly blushing. And Azriel couldn’t help his smile. “Does that surprise you?”
She glared at him and then stood up. The evening wind was cool and felt pleasant on her face. Y/n looked around, finally noticing the park around her.
People were in pairs, walking or simply sitting. Couples, most likely.
And then there was her. With him. On a bench. Sitting at a distance. Azriel really wanted that distance to vanish. So he called her name.
Y/n looked back at him and he was already looking back at her. “I swear to all the hot chocolate in the world, Azriel. If you ever pull a stunt like this, I’m leaving you.”
He took a step forward. And another. She did not move from her place. “May I?”
“Yes.” She breathed, eyes closing. Memories sprung forth like a fountain from all the times they'd kissed.
He pressed his lips on her forehead before promising. “I won’t pull a stunt like this. Ever. And if you do leave me, you will be leaving with my heart as you did three months ago.”
“And you’ll give guest lectures to see me even after that?” Y/n leaned into his touch and smiled. The first smile in months. He felt some semblance of peace settle in his heart.
“A Ted Talk, if needed.” Azriel smiled at her faintly. And behind his smile, he really hoped for their future.
****
Taglist:
@fantanbietsson @angstylittleb1tch @fhgsvbnh @olive-main @cherryjain17 @halo-mystic @starofanotherworld @latinxbipride @viatorem-maris @acotarbestie @sevikas-whore @anthonys-viscountess @randomgurl2326 @thelov3lybookworm @cat-or-kitten @mortqlprojections @tele86 @rorel1a @red0202 @atomictyphoonkitten @colorfulgardenerduck @scarsandallaz @anonymousdisco @rcarbo1 @workof-a-rr-t @fuckingsimp4azriel @isabella13dusk @donnadiddadog @yannnnooooxoxox-blog @nxgh1 @thedeviltohisangel @katherinebright @fandomtrash5092 @epicsweetness712 @anik-4 @hitsxbikbv @julesvanslutta @fae-dreamer-99 @cartonkid1200 @anainkandpaper @yourwonderbelle @stefbroo @imjustagirl713 @bbykaixx @lilah-asteria
#acotar#azriel x oc#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x original character#a court of thorns and roses#a court of silver flames#acofas#acomaf#acosf#acowar#azriel imagine#azriel fanfic#azriel acotar#azriel x reader#azriel#azriel spymaster#azriel smut#azriel fanfiction#azriel fluff#azriel fic#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#nesta archeron#nesta acotar#acotar fandom#acotar series#acotar smut#acotar fanfiction#acotar fanfic#acotar x reader
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ok but Can you image the total shit show it’d be if reader somehow rizzed up BOTH Andrew and Ashley?? 😨 literally preying. Like imagine reader is not necessarily popular, but they definetly are one of the most attractive people in the class if not the most
Andrew Graves x Reader x Ashley Graves
TW: Some nasty cat fights between the Graves siblings, everyone has a potty mouth, mentions of unaliving eachother, not proofread, reader just wanted a cookie.
♥︎Notes: This was actually so fun to write. I always love writing arguments between my two favorite assholes and watching it burn from there. Enjoy this messy headcannon and sorry it took so long<3.♥︎
Someone call the police, ain't no one coming out of this alive.
First, we gotta start with how you rizzed up the siblings. Starting with Andrew,
I can already see that to get through Andrew's heart, you gotta be funny.
Yes I know that this brooding son of a bitch is dressed in only dark colors, but he values some humor and I feel like the way through his heart is that.
You were in class chatting with a classmate near Andrew's desk when the classmate brought up your history teacher. Uptight, strict, and a prick, you said, "If he berates me anymore for my red pen, his head will go so far up his ass he'll find his own bullshit."
Unexpectedly, both of you heard a snort. Searching for the source, you saw Andrew covering his mouth with his hand, horrified by the sound he had just made.
You smiled at him and brushed off the snort to the classmate, "I think we're hearing things."
That truly made his heart flutter.
He had started sitting closer to you after that. Whenever he got ready in the mornings for school, an extra step in his routine was to hope that you were coming too.
"Hey Andrew," you walked by Andrew's desk.
"Y -Y/N! Hi..." Andrew mentally cussed himself our for the stutter.
It was dumb...really dumb.
But it made Andrew smile and feel giddy when he walked home.
I feel like Andrew would be very tame when it came to his feelings for the reader.
He'd blush when you're around and check in with you to make sure you're okay. He'd be too embarrassed to actually ask you out, but he would definitely try to find excuses to hang around you.
Now, the only natural explanation for Ashley's involvement with you would be that she saw her brother with a dumbass grin one day and HAD to investigate.
So, how did you rizz up Ashley?
Well, it's simple, really,
She went to your house to get a clear look at you and saw you dancing through the window,
You were fun and disgustingly too kind.
("Idiot")
But somehow, that fun energy intrigued Ashley. You would smile at her randomly when she corssed the street. You had no idea who she was, and yet that smile irked Ashley (in a somehow pleasant way).
"Hey guys!" She cheerfully entered the classroom doorway, a spring in her step.
Andrew turned to look at the voice and immediately felt a muscle in his forehead twitch. "Great," he thought, "another one of Ashley's ploys so that she can harass any woman out of my life."
You, of course, were baffled at seeing this girl suddenly love up on you, but judging by Andrew's murderous smile towards her, you figured they were related somehow.
But instead of Ashley being an ass towards the reader, she began to cling to their arm.
This began a looooong sequence of events where it would go one of the following ways,
You'd go to a spot around town, invite one of the Graves siblings, and no matter how secluded, isolated, unknown, or illegal said spot was, the other Graves sibling would find and join you.
This definitely opens the possibility of more intense sibling fights.
I say intense, but it's more like,
"SAY HER NAME ONE MORE TIME ASHLEY AND I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!"
"DO IT ANDY, DO IT, I DARE YOU. WHAT WOULD MY Y/N THINK ABOUT A MURDERER, YOU FUCKFACE!"
The fights would get so loud that the neighbors would call the police
By the time the police came to knock at the door, Ashley was pulling Andrew's hair and trying to put him in the washing machine, while Andrew was clawing at Ashley's face and trying to smack her head against said machine.
When Andrew (and for some reason) Ashley came to school, you were startled by how banged up both of them became. Still, when you asked about it, all they did was brush you off (and stomp on each other's toes when you weren't looking).
While they did loath each other for trying to steal Y/N from one another, they never doubted the protection they felt they owed to Y/N.
Some random classmate decided to hit on you and make you verryyyy uncomfy. When you recounted the tale to Andrew, he refused to leave you alone for weeks, constantly fantasizing about bashing the guys face in.
ASHLEY ON THE OTHER HAND would absolutely demolish any shithead who tried hitting on you. "They needed to be punished!" Is the last thing she said, and the last time you ever saw that classmate.
Was it risky? Yes. Did Andrew scold her for it? Yes. Did either one of them regret it? Hell no.
Overall, the entire relationship is a complete shit show. And even if you begged them to play nice, they'd still fight over you.
"Ashley, can you help me? I can't reach that cookie jar."
Ashley sprung up from her seat. "Sure thing, N/M~" But just as Ashley was going to reach for the jar, Andrew pushed her into a pile of trash bags in the kitchen and proceeded to grab the jar for you.
"Here you go, Y/N," Andrew smiled at you while you panicked on who to check in with first.
Suddenly, from the pile of trashbags came, "Andrew, you ass!"
Fight or flight kicked in, and you immediately bolted out of their kitchen. Having remembered plenty of their fights, you decided that for today, you were perfect content with just going home. That was enough Graves for today...
"ASS-KISSER!"
"BROWN-NOSER!"
Yeah, that was plenty of Graves for today.
Thank you for the ask!<3
#andrew graves#andy graves#the coffin of andy and leyley#x reader#andrew graves x reader#andy graves x reader#ashley graves#headcanons#y/n#ashley graves x reader#leyley graves x reader#leyley graves#reader insert#not proofread#readers bring me chocolate milk pls#i need it#sorry this took so long#poly? if you look at it close enough#they try to kill eachother#dem kids swear up and down#no word count#900 words or smth
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Never Be Like You
Felix Catton x f!Reader
My fic masterlist
Summary: AU where Saltburn's ending never happened. Felix lived happily up to 2016 (and on), where he met you at your new job. Meaning he is around 29 here and you are younger.
Yes, a fic based on THAT Jacob Elordi edit
Using the song "Never Be Like You" by Flume feat. Kai
Shout-out to Kasey @kcsvids ❤️
Tags: fluff, implied slow burn, AU.
Word Count: 3,8K
Early August in London this year was quite rainy, but fortunately, the day you had to go around the city with the documents turned out to be surprisingly sunny and pleasant. It was the second month of your new job.
The bell on the door in the coffee shop tinkled as you went inside in search of your senior colleague, whose errands you had been running for half the day.
"Annabel, hi! I’ve signed the documents, made copies and notarized them. Here are the originals in the folder, and here are the copies," you said, sitting down on the opposite chair and rummaging in your bag, taking out all the necessary papers.
"Oh, thank you, Y/N! I expected that you would only have time to pick up the documents, and you have already done everything! Cool, you're doing great!" the girl smiled at you, and then added, "Our new capable young employee."
She said this to a young man in a colored seemingly expensive shirt who was sitting relaxed close to her on the couch and drinking coffee. He looked at you with a smile while Annabel was having a dialogue with you and complimenting you on the work done. God. This was the guy from your job, whom you saw rarely and from afar, but you really wanted to know more about him. You didn't even know his name because you were too shy to ask, and besides, you didn't talk close yet to people in your new place.
"Felix. Felix Catton," he introduced himself, extending his long arm across the table.
"Y/N," you answered a little timidly, shaking his hand. His fingers were no less long than the hand itself, and his palm was warm, "Um... Y/N L/N."
"Okay, I have to run, bye, Ann," the guy kissed her on the cheek, threw some money on the table and smiled at you again, "It was nice to meet you, a new capable young employee."
Young. Not that young, it was your second full-time job after graduating from the university, but of course you were younger than the two of them. Annabel, as far as you knew, was almost 29 years old. Felix was probably about the same age, it was hard for you to tell. It seemed that he could be aged from 23 to 33, given that he looked so youthful and lively.
"So... does he work for our company? It seems that I saw him in the office, but very rarely..." you tried to find out information about this man from Annabel as casually as possible.
"Yes, Felix has... a more of a free schedule. His father is a co–owner of the company. So, he is not particularly worried about being a worker of the year. However, it's not like I live at work either," Annabel began to tell you openly. It seems you had already realized that she was also a pretty laid-back person, "So… What are you ordering?"
Despite your protests, Annabel ordered and paid for you coffee and lunch anyway, and then continued, "We studied at Oxford together. You could say he helped me get a job here later."
Oh. You got it. It seems that the picture in your head had finally begun to take shape. It became clear to you why some people worked hard from early morning till night in the same office as someone came at lunchtime at best and generally behaved as if they had known each other half their lives. Because that how it was. Many of them were Oxonians, and had known each other since the university, and some even from boarding schools. Of course, you also received a decent education, but it was nothing compared to Oxford. But this was also often not only about education, but also about lifestyle in general. Your family was not any close to be called poor, but still it was not comparable to this level of life, and you were able to get a current job only because of your hard work and probably decent amount of luck.
You felt a little sad at the thought that for them you probably were a girl who came out of nowhere and did the paperwork, and it was very possible that you would remain that way in their eyes. In Felix's eyes, in particular. That was how you imagined his life as a golden boy, who was apparently at this stage of his life employed in his own parents' company, where he did not need to make any effort to stay there and at the same time receive a round sum of money. Usually it also led to a certain lifestyle.
While Annabel was stirring her coffee with a spoon, you noticed an engagement ring on her hand, which you didn't seem to notice before or just didn't pay attention to.
"Oh... can I... congratulate you?" you asked, barely hiding your awkwardness, "Is it... Felix?"
"Yes, thank you… What? Felix?" the girl laughed, "No. We used to date back at the university, and after that… Well, now we are not. I can't imagine Felix as a fiancé or husband. To be honest, I don't think he can either. He's a pretty free spirit, let's put it this way."
You exhaled and nodded, on the one hand satisfied with the answer, and on the other hand you were upset and got into thinking even more. Yes, it seemed that you two were different, too different, and it came to be clear in just a half an hour on a lunch.
But that didn't stop you from thinking about him anyway for the whole next month. He still rarely came to the office, but now he nodded and smiled broadly if he saw you. You even chatted briefly a couple of times in the hallway and over a cup of coffee in the office kitchen. You still didn't know what he really was like, but he seemed nice and friendly, even though he was always in a hurry for somewhere else. Or someone else. You couldn't help but still look forward to these short meetings.
And that how the autumn came.
"Well, lucky you, Y/N – it seems that a small anniversary of three months of your work here coincides with our seasonal party," sipping from her cup, Annabel informed you, "Once in a season we go out somewhere with the whole team. Well, to be more exact – with the least boring group of people here. Come with us? We're thinking of going to a club this time."
You willingly agreed, pleased that you were invited to this party. After all, it was not for nothing that you'd been Annabel's indispensable assistant, helping her out all the time. And, to be honest, you did a lot of her own work for her. And also you hoped that you and her began to get closer in personal level, even though you were quite different, it was still quite a fun.
Week later, you were hurrying along the streets while looking at the navigator where exactly the club that Annabel was talking about was located. You were late because you spent a lot of time on dressing up and doing makeup. You wanted to make an impression and you were a little nervous. Nervous because all this time you were wondering if Felix would come or not. You were worried about both scenarios, but you still wanted him to come first of all, even though you had no idea what and how should happen next.
The place greeted you with loud enough but pleasant music and colorful lighting. Your colleagues were sitting on the sofas nearby. Annabel waved cheerfully, "Y/N! We're here! Hi! Yes, you're not even the last one, so make yourself comfortable."
You greeted everyone who was sitting. You felt quite awkward, because you didn't communicate with everyone at least on the same level you did with Annabel, but you hoped that the evening would go well and that you didn't come in vain. And it turned out to be quite alright, but anyway, part of your thoughts was roaming whether Felix would come or not.
"Okay, guys, and now we'll drink to the Y/N! She's been helping me a lot lately. Y/N, I hope this is just the beginning of your work with us!" Annabel toasted.
"To a new young capable employee!" said a velvety deep voice behind you. You turned around. Felix stood behind, dressed in a white shirt and jeans. He had a shot glass in his hand and he had some kind of red cowboy hat on a rope behind his neck and back.
You all clinked drinks together and then started to sit back down on the sofas.
"Hello, Y/N," Felix smiled broadly at you, "Glad you were invited too."
"Oh, Felix, where have you been?" your colleagues began to ask him as he sat down with them and began to tell about being stuck in another club and then getting through traffic jams here to you all.
"Unexpectedly. I thought he wasn't coming, huh," you said softly to Annabel.
"Why wouldn't Felix come to the party? It's not like going to office meetings, you know," the girl chuckled.
You continued to chat with Annabel this evening. Felix, unfortunately, did not approach you, and seemingly had fun chitchatting with all the people on the couch in front of you, although he kept glancing at you, so it seemed to you. But maybe it just seemed, because you had been drinking for the first time in a long time, and your head was already starting to feel a little dizzy.
But over time, your interlocutor talked more and more about her own with her long-time colleagues and friends, until she almost completely forgot about your presence. You began to feel gradually lonely in this company. Maybe you were right. A girl from nowhere who couldn’t even afford too many drinks in this place in central London, who was helping Oxford graduates who were, are and will be fine, with paperwork they weren’t really willing to do. But it was better to splurge on another drink than to sit and think all these thoughts.
Walking through the crowd to the bar, you stood in line and chose what to take for yourself. Something strong, but not very expensive, if possible.
"You have a small anniversary in our company today. It should be celebrated," a pleasant voice spoke softly almost in your ear. Turning your head to the side, you found Felix, who was leaning almost his entire body against the counter. He had definitely had a drink and was even more relaxed and cheerful than usual, "It's all on me, of course."
You protested a little, but Catton quickly dismissed all objections, taking two drinks for you at once and one glass for himself, "And this is about time you tell me how do you find the work here with us, where you came from and generally about yourself."
You headed back to the sofa with drinks. Since the path was laying through the dancing crowd, and you had two glasses in your hands, Felix held you protectively, placing his hand on your back and guiding you through all the people, making sure that no one would touch you. The feeling of his big warm hand on your back, on your skin, half-opened due to the design of the dress, definitely excited you and gave you goosebumps.
Some people from your company, including Annabel, was already gone to the dance floor, so you sat down on an empty sofa together and started talking. It was very uneasy and unusual for you to see Felix so close to you, also in such an informal setting. His big brown eyes looked at you attentively while you talked a little about yourself, about your education, how you got a job at this company, what you were doing here and who you started communicating with. What dark fluffy eyelashes he had. He was so handsome. You blushed a little and got embarrassed, but still, because of the abundance of information that you had to tell him, your brain was a little distracted and calmed down.
"That's great, Y/N. You're so... hardworking. And, apparently, you’ve achieved a lot on your own. That's very cool," Felix nodded with a serious face.
"Well, I haven't achieved anything special yet that I would really like, but thank you for the kind words. It's great that you're interested in your future subordinates."
"Oh, so you know? Well... we'll see about that. My dad is a co–owner of the company, but not the owner. So, it's not at all a fact that I'm going to manage over here," Felix was a little embarrassed and cleared his throat, "And I don't know what's going to happen next, I don't guess into the future for that long… Maybe I'll go abroad somewhere, like I've already done before, huh."
Then Felix began to tell about some parts of his own life - a little about his childhood, about studying at Oxford, what he did there and where he went later. He was quite modest and obviously tried not to emphasize his fabulously luxurious lifestyle, but this was the kind of thing that could not be completely kept to oneself. This manifested itself even in behavior and appearance, not to mention the stories.
But you liked, you really did like talking to him. With all that said, Felix Catton had a talent for making you feel like you were welcome, that you were no worse than him, that your lifestyle was no less boring or less important when he wanted to grant his attention. Even if you were completely different. You were listened to very attentively.
Due to this feeling, combined with his appearance and charisma in general, you were ready to never get up from this couch, if only your conversations would last forever.
But the forever ended quickly when Felix's friends yanked him onto the dance floor. Friends, and maybe not only friends. It seemed that many female colleagues and just a lot of the girls nearby were staring endlessly and smile charmingly at him in the hope of getting more of his attention. Of course, you could understand that oh so well. But all the same, you were upset that your chances were probably much less than those of all his acquaintances in his circle. Even if it was just about a sort of a close communication.
You finished your second drink and went to get another one. While you were standing in line, one of this year's hits started playing in the hall. A gentle female voice began to tell her story:
What I would do to take away
This fear of being loved, allegiance to the pain
Now I fucked up and I'm missing you
Never be like you
I would give anything to change this like-minded heart
That loves fake shiny things
Now I fucked up and I'm missing you
Never be like you
You couldn't take your eyes off Felix, who was having fun in the middle of the crowd – he was giving himself up to the music, dancing to the beat. Green, blue and sometimes purple spots of light slid across his face and his clothes. How graceful and natural he was now, as if he had been born on the dance floor.
I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
'Cause I got it
Never be like you
Felix completely broke up and went dancing at the pole jokingly. You didn't know if he was already so tipsy or just so relaxed naturally to that extent, but you couldn't look away with your mouth slightly opened. He was holding onto the pole with one hand, and with the other he was waving in the air, also swinging his hips.
How do I make you wanna stay
Hate sleeping on my own
Missing the way you taste
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
Never be like you
Stop looking at me with those eyes
Like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
Never be like you
Your heart sank. Even though this song was about trying to bring back an existing relationship, it still somehow resonated especially with you right now. Particularly the line "Never be like you", which seemed to repeat your thought, which you carefully tried to hide from yourself tonight. You would never be like Felix.
The crowd gathered at the bar gradually pushed the gawking and not moving you closer to the dance floor, where Catton noticed you.
"Hey, Y/N, why are you just standing there so lost? Join me," the guy said cheerfully, slightly pulling you by the hand closer to him.
You started dancing together, he put on his red hat on to make you laugh a little. He was smiling widely, swaying from side to side bewitchingly in front of you.
I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
'Cause I got it
Never be like you
His white shirt was unbuttoned now, apparently, he had been hot for a while. Beads of sweat gathered on his skin and disappeared with him in the rays of the strobe light from time to time, which shone behind his back. In such lighting, it seemed as if he was moving in slow motion, and that was all a beautiful movie in which you accidentally fell into the place of the main character. But it wasn't a fantasy, it was your night right now.
I'm falling on my knees
Forgive me, I'm a fucking fool
I'm begging darling please
Absolve me of my sins, won't you
You wanted this moment to last forever. And unlike the conversation on the couch, it really felt like it was happening, like in a dream that no one dared to break. You were drowning in his magnetic gaze and smile, which he was giving only to you now. He was like Prince Charming of the 2010’s.
I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
'Cause I got it
Never be like you
Baby, baby please believe me
Come on take it easy
Please don't ever leave me... oooh
Never be like you
You mentally repeated the last lines of this song until your face itself took on a slightly pleading look. Felix seemed to catch it and touched your shoulder. His lips parted in the desire to say something, but he just stood there for a few seconds in silence, as if considering what to say and do next.
"... by the way, you look great today. I mean, your office looks are cute too, but this… You're full of surprises, aren't you?" he said after a while.
You smiled sheepishly as you continued to dance, drifting back into a musical and slightly alcoholic trance until it was interrupted by several of Felix's friends and your colleagues.
"Buddy, we've going home," the guys shook hands, and then started talking about some of their business. You moved a little to the side, and as soon as you did that, Felix slowly began to be surrounded by familiar and not so very familiar people. You went for a cocktail, and then headed to the couch, where you started talking to a colleague of yours. You kept glancing in Felix's direction at the same time, but he still didn't come up, engrossed in talking and some dancing.
After saying goodbye to your colleague, who also left, you finished your cocktail and finally decided to check your phone. Oh. You didn't know it was so late. You started looking for a taxi, but it costed a lot right now. Confused, you sat alone, staring at the screen and sucking from a straw a mix of melted ice and a cocktail from the bottom of a glass.
"Please pardon me for leaving you for a while," the hot hand laid on your back and then its owner appeared behind it, who plopped down on the sofa next to you. He looked at you with slightly regretful doe eyes, "Are you... leaving already?"
"Yes, it's very late, and there's a lot to do tomorrow… But the taxi is still expensive, I guess I'll wait a little longer."
"What are you talking about? I'll get you a car right now," Felix took out his phone and began to quickly type something on it.
"Oh, come on, don't..."
"Hey. We're celebrating your anniversary at work, our new best employee. Have you already forgotten?" the guy interrupted you, grinning, "Tell me your address, please."
You gave your address, Catton smiled slightly.
Five minutes later, a business class taxi pulled up to the club. You just went outside, and the warm air of an early autumn night pleasantly enveloped you after the hot and stuffy nightclub.
"Is this really my car?" you were amazed. Felix turned his head to the left and right, and then, leaning over, said in a serious tone, "I don't see any exactly the same beautiful girl waiting for exactly the same taxi, and do you?"
You giggled and blushed noticeably. There was a pause hanged in the night air.
"Thanks for your company, Y/N. I'm glad you're with us now. I hope we'll see each other more often from now on."
You looked him straight in the eye, and then nodded slightly and slowly.
"Good night. Please text when you... Ah..." Felix rolled his eyes at himself, "I don't have your phone number."
He looked down, shaking his head and chewing lightly on his lip. A knot tied in your stomach. Felix. Catton. Asked. You. Your. Number. It might had been more of a common courtesy, of course, but your heart started beating a lot faster anyway. Of course, you dictated your phone number to him, which made him full of ill-concealed joy. Having recorded it in his smartphone, he said, as if nothing had happened, "Yeah, great, now I have a place to text to find out how you got home," and put you in a taxi.
He gently touched your shoulders once more when he put you in the car. He pressed his lips almost weightlessly to your ear, "Good night again, Y/N. Thank you for this evening," his mumble was very warm and pleasant, you felt your hair rising on your skin.
Watching the taxi leave, from which window you looked at him back, Felix lit a cigarette. He was smiling widely and contentedly, exhaling smoke and slightly twitching his whole body on the spot from another surge of energy. He was obviously going to attend the work more often from now on.
#felix catton x reader#that jacob elordi edit#saltburn 2023#jacob elordi edit#felix catton#felix x reader#felix catton x you#felix catton smut#felix catton fluff#felix catton imagine#felix#felix catton AU#jacob elordi#jacob elordi x reader#jacob elordi smut#jacob elordi fluff#jacob elordi imagine#felix catton edit#that felix catton edit#saltburn edit#that saltburn edit#saltburn#saltburn AU#saltburn imagine#oliver quick#saltburn smut#saltburn x reader#saltburn x you#fanfiction#office au
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Forbidden Fruit
Mr Reed x Fem!Reader
Rating: 18+, explicit
Word count: 1.4k
Summary: Mr Reed invites you into his house to discuss polygamy and the flaws of virginity.
Warnings: smut, virgin/inexperienced reader, age gap (reader is of consensual age), creampie (reader on birth control), dirty talk, blasphemy, possible spoilers for Heretic (2024)
"My question is how do you feel about polygamy?"
The snowfall gently beats against the tiny windows as you nurse the cup of tea Mr Reed has prepared for you. Using it as warmth rather than to quench your thirst. Even if he did seem like a pleasant man, you didn't entirely trust a drink a stranger has made for you in another room. You fear your instincts may be right when he asks you this question.
You place the cup down and clear your throat as you process his personal inquiry.
"Well, it's forbidden in the b-"
"Yes, but what do you think?"
He emphasises that word, pointing his index finger at you, before resting it on his lips, waiting for your answer.
A beat. Your eyes widen as you try to think of a tactful response.
"I um, I can't really say, it's none of my business what other people decide to do with their lives."
Mr Reed narrows his eyes slightly, not the answer he was looking for apparently.
"Hmmm", he takes a moment to have a swig of his tea from his inscribed 'hubby' mug. You look over your shoulder as if his wife would magically appear behind you.
"And I thought it was just because you've never felt the touch of a man."
You snap your head back around to face him, your cheeks instantly turning red.
"Excuse me?"
"I'm sorry, I may have overstepped", he places his mug down and makes eye contact with you, emphasising his apology.
"I think I should leave", you start to get up, your legs shaking slightly from his statement.
"I understand my dear, let me just get your coat."
The couch creaks as Mr Reed also stands up, promptly leaving the room. Walking over to the door you watch the snow hail down. Not ideal biking weather but it's still better than being in here with him.
"Here we go, one coat", he holds up your woolen jacket passing it to you.
As you take it, he starts to wrap your scarf around your neck. You can feel his breath tickling your hair.
"You know", his deep voice echoes in your ears, "many religions don't believe in virginity. The Virgin Mary simply a mistranslation with the meaning changing over the years."
He takes your coat and starts to help you put it on over your arms, patting down the collar, hands lingering on your neckline a little too long.
"I think waiting for marriage is simply outdated, people should just seize the day. Life is too short for their lives to be dictated by an invisible omnipotent force with historic rules."
You cringe internally hearing him blaspheme your religion, you're just about to interject when he continues.
"It's simply too good to miss that closeness of two people becoming one", he walks in front of you as he starts to button up your coat. He looks down at you, still maintaining eye contact every so often while he fastens the clasps.
"The warmth of each other as you melt into one another's skin. The ache in your bones of needing them inside you."
You break the eye contact as you watch the veins in his hands clench with each turn. Your imagination in overdrive, you wipe your palms on your coat, nervously. Mr Reed notices and tilts your chin up to face him.
"The taste of them on your tongue, as you swallow each other's moans..."
His eyes drift towards your lips. Your body is screaming at you to leave, but part of you wants that sin, that forbidden fruit. You wrestle with your demons, but you find him oddly hypnotic and attractive. You guessed he was in his 50s or 60s, definitely older than you in your 20s, but that only adds to the temptation.
"... as everything builds and builds into one big explosion of ecstasy. That white heat of entering Heaven."
Your thoughts start to drown out as your lips crash into his. Head empty as your tongue starts to swirl around his, gripping the back of his head as the kiss grows deeper.
Mr Reed yanks off your coat, buttons popping off onto the carpet, but neither of you care. He breaks the kiss briefly, only to remove his glasses, before resuming with just as much vigor as before.
You can feel that heat starting from deep inside of you, just as Mr Reed was explaining, as you start to remove your blouse and skirt. His hands start to wander around your bra before unclasping the back.
Mr Reed starts to guide you back towards the sitting room as you continue to undress, removing your tights and underwear. You notice he doesn't remove his clothes as you feel the weave of his jumper, rough against your bare skin. You don't mind, you're too busy thinking of other things right now.
He quickly sits down on the sofa, holding your wrist, motioning for you to sit on top of him. Slightly apprehensive about riding him for your first time, you trust him and place yourself onto his lap, and resume the kiss.
Your hands start to pull down his trousers as his cock bounces free. Your eyes widen when you realise how girthy he is, his dick already rock hard and twitching with anticipation. He can't help but smile when he sees your reaction, as gently guides himself through your folds. The veins of his cock drag along your clit as wetness seeps out of you, preparing yourself for him. You hum at the feeling while he contently sighs at your warmth coating him.
After a moment, Mr Reed positions himself at your entrance and gently pushes you by the hips, guiding you onto him. His eyes roll into the back of his head as your cunt engulfs him, fitting around him tightly yet perfectly. You wince at first, but the further you sink down onto him, the better it feels.
You pause when he is fully seated inside of you, feeling his cock teasing at your cervix, before slowly starting to grind on his lap. You place your hands on his forearms for stability, as he starts to kneed at your ass with his fingertips, bruises threatening to surface under his grip.
The sofa creaks with every thrust as you ride his cock, your breasts bouncing with the effort. You let go of him to grip onto the back of the couch instead, his tongue licking at your nipples as you lean over him. His hands start to trail up your back, pushing you slightly closer towards him.
Your lips meet once again, but feels like you've never been apart. Your mind starts to wander again, thinking about what God would think seeing you give away your virginity to the first man to look at you with lust in his eyes. Then you think maybe God shouldn't even be looking in the first place as it's none of his business. You both wanted this, what could be more natural?
As your mind wanders, your body starts to tense up. Your orgasm creeps up on you, before you realise what's happening as your pace starts to stutter. Your walls clamp down around him, arching your back as you let out a guttural moan from deep inside you. You shake and pant as your cunt pulses out your release, soaking Mr Reed's cock.
He isn't far behind you as he leans back and moans in return, releasing warm ropes of his cum inside you. You don't mind as you have the implant, feeling his seed drip out of you and onto his trousers, as you start to come down from your high.
You straighten yourself up, tucking your distressed hair behind your ears, watching him finish inside you. He lightly groans at the effort of filling you, it's almost enough to make you aroused again.
He slowly exhales and opens his eyes. They crinkle as he smiles at you, laughter lines standing out, you begin to memorise each wrinkle. Tracing your fingers along them, almost like reading a palm. Neither of you care that he's still seated inside of you, growing soft. Or that the snow has eased off and your bike was just outside the metal lined walls. Mr Reed grins at the fact he has you wrapped around his little finger, knowing now that you could never leave. Proving that control really is the one true religion.
#fanfic#heretic#mr reed#hugh grant#mr reed x reader#reader#fem reader#mr reed x fem reader#heretic 2024
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𝗢𝗡𝗖𝗘 𝗨𝗣𝗢𝗡 𝗔 𝗙𝗨𝗟𝗟𝗠𝗢𝗢𝗡.
PAIR: yoongi x f reader
TAGS/WARNINGS: strangers to lovers, 'love at first sight' (I tried, okay?), producer!yoongi, producer!reader, fluff, I don't really know how to tag anymore, oh yeah no warnings just smoking ig, cats <3 this is very cheesy but op requested that sooo!!
A/N: requested <333 this is not my proudest work. and to be honest, I don't think I like it that much. but this is the best I can provide atm :,) I hope yall like it. don't forget yo leave ur feedback and comments! lots of love <333
SYNOPSIS: the one where yoongi falls in love at first sight on the streets of his city.
PS. ignore all mistakes people, thank u. I can't believe I even managed to finish and post this !
It all started one breezy Tuesday night—The first time Yoongi felt his heart leap in his chest because of a complete stranger.
The tune he had been stuck dealing with for the previous couple of hours was an endless loop echoing in his head, a desperate effort of his brain to solve his headaches for himself.
Being a significant producer-songwriter for many, he was often locked up in his studio for entire days, sometimes even weeks, but that's when he can tell he's on the verge of plunging into insanity—the irony of choosing to do the one thing he loved the most in this world—if he didn’t pick up his keys and his phone, headed towards the door and walked the tension between his bones away.
On his way back home that night, he let his legs bring him to a park by the edge of a vast river. It was fairly late into the night, but some humans lingered there and about.
He sat on a lonely bench, drawing some of the fresh air into his lungs before leaning back and making himself comfortable against his seat. Usually, he’d go for less crowded places, places where solitude spoke to his mind and put it to rest in the middle of the chaos his life was. That night, he found himself watching people existing on the edge of that river, where the water spoke the language of the sky and painted an image of the bright moon and city lights.
On their little picnic mats were couples sharing delicate intimacy and friend groups laughing and chatting amongst themselves, while cyclists drifted by. A perfect picture of humans basking in the moment.
And Yoongi? He had a cigarette burning between his fingers to keep him company.
His thoughts ran with a mind of their very own, he almost didn't notice her.
The stranger passed by him like the gentle whispers of breeze that played with his hair strands. A nearby cat caught her attention, she crouched down and petted it.
“You're hungry, aren't you? Me too, me too. I only had lunch today. Coffee for breakfast. I'm working on a new project these days. It's always hectic, you know? You probably don't. You're just a cute fluff ball. Wandering around. Surviving.”
Such were the soft words he heard the human say. It seemed like a natural conversation to any passing-by ear. He wouldn't have guessed a cat was at the receiving end if he weren't at a short proximity from them, but the simple interaction painted a faint smile on his face. It was endearingly pleasant.
Shifting his gaze to the scenery ahead of himself, he took long, thorough drags of his cigarette, and let his thoughts consume him.
“Hey, can I sit here?” He heard her voice again. Yoongi looked up, almost startled. The first thought that came to his mind was that her friendly smile reminded him of Sakura leaves dripping from the sky.
She pointed to the other end of the bench he sat on, waiting for his response.
“Yes, of course.” He replied, ignoring the way his heart dramatically skipped a beat in his chest, and the way the sound of the world existing around him faded into a blissful quiet once their gazes met.
She sat down quietly, her smell lingered in the air between them, and spoke again, “Cats hate the smell of cigarettes, you know.”
He looked at her again, the warm streetlamps kissed all over her features, giving him a better view of her face.
Her eyes, Yoongi thought he finally found something new to write a song about.
Regardless of the gentleness of her voice—almost as soft as the distant sound of the waves dancing across the shore—he glanced down at the cigarette in his hand with a weird sense of embarrassment.
“My bad.” He muttered, doing a quick job of pressing the burning cigarette to the sole of his shoe. Its once alive flame slowly died into a lifeless gray dust, before being tossed into a trash bin nearby.
She smiled, “It's okay. Have you ever owned a cat?”
He shifted awkwardly in his seat and answered with a short ‘yes’.
“Then you should know they don't appreciate it when people ruin their lungs like that.” She added, her tone light-hearted.
That made him release a soft chuckle into the air. His heart fluttered in his chest when she chuckled along, and then she proceeded to tell him that she too, although rarely, smoked as well.
“I always keep cat food in my bag just in case.” She said, bringing out a pack of cat food from her bag and showing it to him.
“Why?” He asked. He knew why, of course he did, but he'd never felt so at ease with a stranger before. He had the urge to initiate any form of conversation with the stranger to hear pieces of her mind for some longer.
“Because all cats deserve food and love. Especially the stray ones.” It was not hard to pick up on the shift that happened to her tone. The lightness that was once present on her features quickly faded into faint dullness. It almost made a frown of his own appear on his face.
She added, “Sadly, that's not common in the world we live in.”
“Keep doing that.” He said. “The thing you said you always do, keep doing it. Maybe one day you'll influence someone, and that someone will influence another someone. More cats will be fed and taken care of..”
The words floated in the air for a while. She smiled, a genuine, grateful one that gave him a sense of satisfaction.
The pair sat in silence following that. Neither of them deemed the need to fill the comfortable quiet that sat on the bench between them to be necessary.
An ‘Oh!’ from between her lips broke the silence between them. The stranger's brows tugged together as she checked her watch, and she muttered something about the time going so fast and her being late for something.
He never liked to admit it to himself, but he felt a tinge of disappointment pop inside his chest at the thought of her leaving.
He silently watched as she stood up and hoisted her bag’s strap onto her shoulder, then asked about his name. He answered as casually as he could muster.
“Yoongi..” She repeated, as if savoring the name on her own tongue, and smiled, “I'm _. It was really nice meeting you.”
And just like that, she was gone, fading into the faint chatter of the people surrounding him, and he was left in the park with a cat rubbing its body against his legs. It reminded him of her, the only thing that he had left of someone he thought he would never see again.
He made sure to feed and pet the creature some more, before scooping it up in his arms and taking them home. His mother would take good care of him, he thought.
The next day, he spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering if he'd find her warm smile and affection towards strays if he were to go to that park again. He missed her eyes, her smile, the way she'd spoken to him so naturally and so easily.
He was trying to push those thoughts off his plate and focus on his work, when she walked into his studio and introduced herself as his new, awaited co-producer.
The best part of it all was the excitement she displayed upon seeing him. It felt like he was reencountered with an old friend, except that an old friend wasn't supposed to make you feel like a teenager catching the glimpse of their crush in the distance.
“Hi! It’s you again! Sorry for being late. I had a crazy morning and just when I thought I was making it I-” She proceeded to talk, but he cut her little rant off with a gentle question.
“You met another cat?”
The small but amused smile on his lips grew a little bigger when the faint blush on her cheeks became more apparent.
“Well, yeah, I kind of did..” she trailed off, tilting her head to the side in embarrassment.
It wasn't hard for them to find a common ground to stand on after that. She liked to talk, the words kept coming naturally out of her mouth, and Yoongi, he liked to listen, and he didn't mind her talking his ears off one bit.
One day after another, hours spent in the studio together. It slowly became something very familiar to him, the feelings her presence gave him. They shared takeout meals on his uncomfortable studio couch and many cups of coffee at late hours of the night. The project they worked on continued to link his heart to hers. On days she would walk in with a deep frown on her face or tears staining her cheeks, she would sit on that couch and mope, and he would wordlessly open a can of beer and put it in front of her, then sit to work next to her until she decided life was worth living again.
From a stranger, to a ‘friend’, to someone he couldn’t stop thinking about. She was not only a good hearted person, but an incredibly smart and talented producer.
If feeding cats together did not push him over the edge of what he thought he would never come to experience again, then working with her surely did.
Sure, he didn’t have his answers. He didn’t know if it was going to be a long lasting thing, or just one more of those phases where his lonesome heart clung onto something other than the thing he loves the most, music, before deciding it had enough. He didn’t know what to do with the feelings that kept growing in his chest and the stupid butterflies he felt in his guts every time she so much as smiled at him. But he knew that spending hours at work and feeding stray cats became things he looked up to every single morning.
More importantly, he had a feeling that whatever he was feeling didn't come from his part alone, but it was all left unsaid for the sake of keeping a fine line between work and personal emotions.
And then it happened, their first, tipsy kiss. When they shared a bottle of liquor and celebrated the wrap-up of their project. The faint blush on her cheeks every time their eyes met made him feel like screaming at the top of his lungs.
He tasted the alcohol on her cherry lips, and oh, how he loved the taste on his tongue.
He thought he'd reached the peak of helplessness when he wrote poems for her eyes, but then he wrote some more for her lips, then her smile, then her hair, then her hands… and then there was no going back.
#yoongi#yoongi x reader#bts#bts yoongi#yoongi scenarios#yoongi fluff#yoongi drabble#bts scenarios#yoongi angst#yoongi icons#yoonmin icons#bts writing#bts smut#bts fanfic#suga fic#bts suga#suga#yoongi smut#bts gifs#bts army#bts jimin#suga fluff
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