#it's kinda wild to me that i had an idea yesterday. and wrote it out. within the day.

[blaiddraws]

Whumptober day 17: Alt prompt 3, Dazed and Confused

yesterday was talking to @ghostypetrainer , who mentioned a sort of AU where, when Ingo gets eeby deebied to hisui, chandelure ends up coming with. I was immediately enthralled by the idea

saw the prompt dazed and confused and took the opportunity in front of me to write this ^w^

Flashes of cold, biting winds. It was the first and only thing he could remember. Deep snow, eerie howls. A light in the distance.

Numb fingers, numb toes, and a bone-deep chill that seemed to persist even as he found himself in an unfamiliar station, bundled in blankets near a small hearth, which contained a warm fire. 

The structure he had awoken to was small, with canvas walls between wood slatting. He'd almost consider it cozy, if it weren't for the chill. 

Trying to think felt like… like… there must have been a phrase there, but he could not recall it. But it was difficult, and slow. A busy static in the periphery of his senses, a strange fog muddying his thoughts.

He shuffled a little closer to the fire, only to suddenly sit up in surprise as he realized another person was there. 

"Oh, you're awake. That's good. People were worried you wouldn't make it," they said, leaning forward so that he could see their face in the low light of the fire, "It wouldn't be good to rescue a stranger from the elements, only for him to perish within our homes just because the space was too vast."

The phrasing was odd to him, but then again, he had nothing to compare it to. So he remained silent. What would he even say? He didn't know anything. 

This didn't seem to phase the other person, as they tossed another log into the fire before busying themself with something on a shelf out of his view. 

"Say, stranger, now that you're awake, do you feel well enough to speak? You were pretty… not there enough when we found you," they mused. 

Could he speak? He frowned for a moment, trying to remember how that even worked, before clearing his throat slightly. 

"Y- yes. I can speak. Thank you for saving me." From what, he had no clue, but what they've said lined up with the only memories he had. And he would be a terrible guest if he didn't thank his rescuers. 

Rescuers. They had said "we". Which implied there were other people, right? The idea surprised him slightly, though immediately afterwards it seemed like something obvious. Why wouldn't there be other people? This small tent wasn't the only thing in the world. Even if he could not remember, he was certain of this.

"That's good," the other person replied. They turned around, taking a small pot of some kind and hooking it above the water, before gently placing a small bundle of herbs nearby.

"So, stranger, what were you even doing all the way out in the Icelands all alone at night? With clothes like that, to boot." They gestured vaguely towards his entirety, and he looked down at his body.

He was wearing a dark coat, a white [dress shirt] and blue [tie]. (For some reason, his head felt bare.)

Unfortunately, he knew as much about the other person's question as they themself did. 

"I am afraid I am not quite certain," he admitted. Glancing around the room rewarded him with the sight of a black hat next to him, which he swiftly put on. It felt nice. Correct.

They didn't seem too surprised at his admission, fortunately, only shrugging slightly.

"Ah, well, worth a shot. You were pretty dazed when we found you." they said, before tilting their head as something occurred to them, "Say, stranger, what's your name?"

His name? He furrowed his brow. Yes, his name. That's… something everyone has. It never even occurred to him at all, before they asked. But his mind remained frustratingly blank. The persistent chill in his bones didn't help, as distracting as it was.

"I… I am afraid I… I am quite uncertain," he said slowly, shaking his head, "I could not tell you my name."

The person froze, before giving him a strange look.

"Okay. That's. okay. Do you know where you came from?"

Frankly, he wasn't sure if he even existed before they apparently found him. He shook his head again and told them as such.

"That's… not good," they said after a moment, "I'll be right back, okay?"

And with that, they left through a door set within the wooden frame of the tent. The chilly air from outside washed over him, causing him to shiver.

The abrupt departure seemed a little odd to him. But so did everything else, so maybe that was just how it worked here. Wherever here was. 

He stared at the fire for a few moments, but found himself growing restless. It felt wrong to inspect what was clearly someone's private domicile, so he turned to the clothes on his body to try and learn something about himself.

His dark coat, long with silver and brown accents. A blue armband on one arm, something that made him distantly feel proud and straighten his posture. It meant something, though he wasn't sure what exactly that was.

His hat, too, held that distant warmth and meaning to it, particularly the metal badge affixed to the front. He ran his thumb over it for a moment, trying to parse the emotions behind it and digging into his mind to find the meaning, but stopped suddenly as a spike of pain went through his head.

Ouch. No more of that. He placed the hat back on his head. He'd think about it later.

He scooted himself further up, blankets pooling at his waist, and pulled aside his coat. Had he been wearing… two belts? One belt was affixed to his pants, but there seemed to have been another atop that. Only burnt and torn scraps left loosely attached to a clip. How odd. 

The pockets of his coat only contained some loose metal coins, lint, and a brightly colored treat contained within a crinkly and transparent material. He was tempted to unwrap and eat it, but elected to save it for later. Looked like he only had the one, after all. (Why was he so sure it was something he could eat?)

He had the urge to pat the front and sides of his coat, and was pleasantly surprised when he felt a small lump within a hidden pocket. Without hesitation, he removed it to inspect.

It was a small ball, split red and white. Small enough to hold between two fingers, but when he absentmindedly tapped a button it suddenly grew almost fist-sized. His eyebrows rose slightly, but he didn't feel particularly surprised.

Something about this ball was incredibly familiar to him. The worn paint and nicks and scratches spoke of a long history.

Without further fanfare or hesitation, he clicked a button and the ball sprung open. He dropped it at his side, surprised by the sudden light, but was more preoccupied with the creature that had emerged.

Metal and glass and an ethereal flame, the pokemon hovered in the air in front of him. It floated almost as if it were merely hung on a hook, but was unmistakably suspended only by its own power. 

The sight of it filled him with adoration and warmth, but the familiarity clawed at his mind, a stabbing pain. He tried his hardest to ignore it. This pokemon felt far too important.

It looked confused, stressed, as it glanced around the area with glowing yellow eyes -- but when its gaze settled on him, it metaphorically and literally lit up as it let out a trill of what he could only interpret as delight.

Without needing to think about his actions, he lifted his trembling arms into the air, beckoning the creature closer. It gladly obliged, slowly approaching until it gently bumped against his forehead. 

He placed his hands on either side of its globe, almost as if he were cradling it.

"I know you," he muttered. The pokemon let out an inquisitive noise, and he shook his head.

"I am afraid to admit that, were they even there in the first place, my memories have severely derailed from the tracks of my mind, dear friend."

The pokemon made an alarmed crackle, pulling back so it could look him in the eyes. It seemed distressed.

He stroked its glass, trying to reassure it.

"Rest assured, it seems my heart still remembers you. There is an undeniable familiarity and warmth I feel for you."

Much to his dismay, this only seemed to distress the pokemon even further. He patted it again.

"Oh, candle, what is causing you so much distress?" he asked. He didn't even realize the nickname until the pokemon suddenly froze.

There was a pause, the only movement between them the flicker of its low flames, before it sank to nuzzle up close to his chest.

He wrapped his arms around it, and some of the raw edges of his broken mind began to smooth. The oppressive fog in his mind began to shrink away in the light of the pokemon's flames.

That bone-deep chill he had felt before began to melt away as well, at the touch of this pokemon. Its flames weren't particularly hot, barely above what he'd consider cool, even, and yet they worked far better at making him feel truly warm than the actual crackling fire within the hearth next to him.

[amberstormblade]

Hey! Here's part two for that TMSP fic I wrote earlier! I'll leave a link to part one here in a sec! Enjoy! :3

Edit: Here's Part One!

Ruby’s day had been going quite well! He was feeling a lot better and was finally able to get out of bed. Although he was still a bit achy, getting to just walk around with Vintage made everything worth it. Some of the other members of their little town even joined in, it seemed like only Viking was missing. It wasn’t until Vintage had mentioned that they needed some materials for a build they were working on that things went wrong.

Climbing down through the cactus farm left the little group scrambling to adjust after coming from the late afternoon sun and soon they were all stumbling their way over to the chests lining the wall when Box spoke up. 

“Do ya hear that? Mighty strange noises ya got down here.” He looked around as if trying to locate it but not immediately seeing anything. 

“What do you mean? I don’t-” Ruby started but they were quickly cut off by Vintage

“It sounds like… crying, almost. It’s faint, but I can definitely hear it.”

Ruby looked at Jay but he just shrugged, unable to hear anything either.

“Yeah! Maybe one of our neighbors is in a bit of trouble! Let’s go check it out.” Without waiting for an answer, Box ran over to the tunnel leading to the clock tower. The rest of them followed after, the sound getting louder as they approached. While the other three were distracted by the massive tower hanging from the ceiling, Ruby’s eyes locked onto something at the bottom of the cavern. The blue and yellow mass was shaking next to a pool at the bottom, tears in his clothes showing that he had most likely fallen down the side of the cavern at some point. He seemed to be weakly gripping his head, fingers tangled in his wild mess of hair, showing that this had been going on for a while. 

“Viking!” His name tore itself from her lips as Ruby saw her closest friend fall limp. Jay had to hold her back from practically throwing herself down the pit and instead, they all carefully rushed down the stairs haphazardly carved into the wall. Running over, Ruby collapsed next to Viking, his knees practically giving out as he rushed to make sure he was even still breathing. When that other person had told him to make sure Viking didn’t kill anyone, Ruby never imagined Viking himself would have to be put on that list. 

Placing a hand on his forehead, Ruby gasped. “He’s burning up! Ca-can you guys help me get him back to the surface? I don’t think being down here is any good for him. “

Box immediately scooped him up like he was nothing while Jay and Vintage helped Ruby back to his feet. Together, the group made their way to the surface, material collecting forgotten for the moment, and towards Ruby’s house as it was close and didn’t have a bed on the roof. No one really knew why he thought that was a good idea. Box placed him on Ruby’s bed and then took a step back as she sat down next to him. He was pale, dark circles under his eyes making it clear he hadn’t been sleeping well. His eyes were scrunched tight and his breath came out in short pants. It was clear that he wasn’t doing well.

After looking him over, Ruby spoke. “I-I didn’t realize, I mean- He seemed tired yesterday but not like this!? I need-” 

Vintage cut them off, “What you need to do is take a deep breath, and know that we’re here to help. What do you need us to do?”

“Okay, okay um- Jay, can you go to Viking’s house and see if he has any extra potions? I kinda burned through all of mine.” Jay nodded and dashed out the door. “Box, can you um-um-um oh! We should make some fresh soup! Can you help gather some ingredients for it! Lots of fresh veggies! And Vintage, you can help me make it! We can start prepping the broth!” Soon, everyone was working, doing their best to help out their fallen neighbor. A cool cloth had been placed on his forehead and the two in the house kept throwing glances at him but he never seemed to change. Box returned first and the soup was well underway when Jay came back. 

“Alright, so, I got the potions, actually had to brew up some more because he was running low but, it seems like he’s already taken a lot of them? There were empty bottles all over his house, it’s actually a bit concerning.” Jay gives a nervous laugh, not sure what to do with this information. 

Everyone seems to pause at this. If Viking had been using potions to combat whatever this was and they hadn’t worked then that was bad news. Any number of things could be happening to him and even Viking himself might not know what it is. Before anyone could speak, however, a groan suddenly came from the direction of the bed. All heads whipped towards the source as Viking started to shift, hands coming up to clutch his head. He started to violently shake as tears began pouring down his face. He started moving around so much that he almost fell off the bed, only stopped by Box jumping into action. The two were now on the ground with Box holding him up. 

“Hey there! Don’t be doing tha-“ Box cut himself off as he got a good look at Viking’s face. “Oh… now that’s- that doesn’t look quite right.” A twinge of concern leaked into his voice. “Eyes don’t normally change quite like that.” 

At this point, everyone rushed over to try and see what he was talking about. Viking’s eyes were wide and unseeing, almost as if someone was forcing them open. They kept darting around as if searching for something but never latching on to anything. The most worrying part was the color. His usually yellow eye seemed to almost be flickering, looking a bright green at times while the blue one seemed to have the same color slowly pulsing around the pupil. All the while, he was gripping his head tight enough that they all worried he was going to tear out chunks of his hair. 

His eyes caught onto Ruby. They reverted to normal for a split second and then went back to their strange and colorful battle as things seemed to get worse. He started whimpering through gritted teeth and thrashing around as much as he could. It almost looked like he was fighting with himself, and losing. Box had given up on trying to hold him still at this point and was just staring in shock along with the others. Ruby did her best to approach, trying not to get hit by his spastic movements.

“Viking?” their voice shook seeing him like this, but they pushed on. “Hey, I don’t know if you can hear me but I think I know what’s going on? Well, maybe not know but I have a guess? You- you need to sleep Viking, do you understand? Just- it would be for the best if you just went to sleep.” At this, he seemed to panic, frantically trying to put space between himself and Ruby while trying to cover his head. He tried to say something but his voice was still shot, the only noise coming out was a hoarse rasping thing. Upon trying to stand he slipped, slamming his head on a nearby barrel as he fell. “Oh gosh! Is he dead?” Shrieked Jay as Viking landed with a sickening thwack back on the floor. The poor farmer seemed stuck between rushing over to the body and backing away as quickly as possible, keeping him rooted to his spot. Vintage started making her way over to him but stopped when he dazedly sat back up. 

He rubbed the back of his head and groaned as he shakily got to his feet, eyes pinched shut. He then sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as tiredly opened his eyes. It was then that everyone noticed this was no longer Viking. A green eyed stranger stood in his place, a handful of signs at the ready for any questions that would be thrown at him.

[chiefbeifongcanrailme]

DVD COMMENTARY (It's Time to Make Time)

“Chief there’s a massive hickey the size of Ba Sing Se on your neck and it’s really hard for all of us to imagine you having a sex life all of a sudden. Just the sight of it paints a very vivid picture of the kind of sex you’re having and the kind of person you’re having it with. Spirits, Chief! It’s purple in color- how are you not in pain? What was he trying to do to you? And no, we know you didn’t sleep well or sleep much last night- because you were having some really wild sex and that mark was not there yesterday and today it’s the first thing anyone can see when they look at you! No but really- what was he- trying to eat and swallow you? Please ask me to stop talking, Lin?” Mako pants. 

Lin gawked at him, thoroughly shocked at his guts to it to her face and even more so that everyone now knew that she was probably involved with someone. 

“Ha-has everyone noticed?” She managed to get out meekly. 

“Yes Chief. Everyone. People are placing bets on who they think you’re sleeping with.” Mako exhales sharply and finally looks her in the eye. 

Have fun!

Ah, It's Time to Make Time, my dearest.

This fic was written to be just a one-shot, and second chapter that followed were also supposed to be one-shot that happened to occur in this universe. The third chapter was just because this fic deserved to be wrapped into that perfect little bow with a cherry on top.

So, coming to the very first chapter where this excerpt is from: I believe I wrote this very early on in my fandom writing carrier- I had all these "need to hide our relationship from Tenzin" ideas for Linumi and I was playing around them.

One such idea, that I borrowed from real life events is- Lin getting caught with a hickey. Canonically, I think Lin would be totally intolerant if a lover left a mark on her- unless, they're in a serious relationship and it was an accident and neither party intended on it/realized it. With Bumi and his nomadic wildness, I can imagine him having a hard time taming himself- especially if he's as in love with and attracted to someone like Lin.

In the backdrop of the plot, Lin is seemingly extremely busy. She's been spreading herself pretty thin and being as sedulous as her, she won't half-ass anything- her job or her "casual" relationship.

I wanted to depict a couple of things here:

From personal experience, I know that being the kind of busy where you don't even have the time to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror doesn't bode well. Sooner or later, there'll be an eruption. Lin does come across as someone who'd be that kinda busy. There comes a time in everyone's career when they're asked to "take it slow" because of their age and such- and I wanted to show that, irrespective of age, if someone's still kicking, they don't have to slow down for that. They could easily slow down to live their lives on their terms- because they've earned it. I've seen a lot of headcanons that Lin retires because of her injuries, or her age- etc, and knowing Lin, I don't think she'd let things like that hold her back. If she does decide to slow down, it's going to HAVE TO be because she wants to and not because she has to. Establishing both these points were a good two birds with one stone.

Being a woman with power at the workplace. It's really sad when a woman at a higher position is reduced to vapid gossip for having something as basic as a personal life. It's only because people fear Lin that they won't treat her the way that one criminal (Raj) did. Lucky for Lin, her subordinates both respect and love her and so she isn't quite subjected to that- which is something very positive about this phenomenon that I got to portray.

Mako and Lin's friendship. I can draw so many parallels between the two: from being the ever-sacrificing, traumatized older sibling to drowning yourself in work to avoid your personal life. I think Lin sorta sees him as her mini me- and she's both proud of and scared for him. It's one thing for him to emulate good qualities, but she hates that she sees her bad qualities in him too. In coming clean about her personal life to Mako, she's showing him that he need not minimize his life in order to serve. Having love in your life doesn't diminish your power.

Lin handling herself. Lin likes to face her problems head on. Everyone has reached a moment in their lives when they're totally humiliated and it's no different for Lin. She learnt the hard way the price of not accepting things coming your way with grace- that if she tries to fight everything that doesn't go her way, it's going to be her down fall in the end. After reconciling with Tenzin, then Suyin, and then her mother, she realizes that had she just accepted circumstances(Pema, scars and mommy issues) for what they were back when they arose, she wouldn't have had to spend all these decades feeling alone and bitter. She didn't need to isolate herself, and guard her emotions with such high walls if she just accepted the situations(move on, forgive and mommy issues). Having likely being subjected to terrible press in the wake of her breakup with Tenzin, I can see Lin wanting to keep this new relationship- one with Bumi, no less- on the downlow. The last thing she needs to relive is the cruel gossip columns and paparazzi outside her window. So, she decides to take it one step at a time.

Sorry, I kinda got carried away there. Now, coming to excerpt itself: Mako is always a little nervous around Lin. He has very confusing feelings about her- he thinks she's cool and hot and he has that "do I wanna be her or do I wanna be with her?" dilemma. But either way, keeping those feelings at bay, he has a lot of respect for Lin as his mentor and cares for her like family. Lin knows he's the only one who'll give it to her straight- that he could be a confidant of sorts and that he is not to be judged by the company he keeps. She trusts him to the fullest, and we see here how it only substantiates that trust when he's the only one to tell her what's really going on, and return, is the only one to learn of her big secret.

Mako kinda gets lost in his rambling of course, because Lin makes him nervous and the idea of her having a sex life only further escalates the "do I wanna be her or do I wanna be with her" dilemma since he gets to view her in a sexual light for the first time. Either way, Mako's a serious guy, and pointedly conveys his exact thoughts until he realizes, physically, he needs to stop talking.

Lin's shock has more to do with the contents of his ramble as well as some to do with the length of his chatter. She knows he can't look her in the eye, but appreciates when he finally does as he tries to sound more comforting. Lin doesn't do well with feeling embarrassed, and Mako knows that- very few people can sense that about her.

I think it's somewhat in this moment, when Lin makes a decision. Old Lin would've immediately broken up with Bumi, without any explanation and sent him running. But as for new Lin, who 1) cared about Bumi and 2) wanted him to know that she cared him, she had to be better. So she not only admitted to herself that she cares for Bumi, but also to Mako that being in love and having a relationship is not a weakness or a vulnerability.

I hope you enjoyed this commentary!

[barbieb0y]

song of the tulips.

DAY 7 YAYYYYYYYY we going out with a bang here people. this is probably the longest one ive written for this event

today, i went with a crown of flowers upon the head + picnicking among nature’s beauty + a dance of blooming roses ! okay that last one is kinda untrue bc i wrote about tulips instead bc apparently theres a tulip garden in san fran and it's amazing bc tulips are my fave flowers. crazy

this is actually a sequel to my day 2 entry ! you dont have to read that one to get this one but you'll get the references i put here if you do!! also a little disclaimer this one is kinda suggestive. nothing too wild, just a joke and a subtle nudge but yeah. if i could write smut i wouldve done it for these two believe me (not for this week/event but in general)

enjoy what may be my last uppercut fic for a while. thank you scrunkly week for enabling me and my selfship these past few days, you have NO idea how much this means to me 🥺

Queen Wilhelmina Garden is fairly far from where they reside in Haight Street, especially if they are to ride there on Joe’s bike. Luckily for the couple, Joe has a rare moment of pure genius (yet a common moment of money spending for Paper Cut).

A peaceful smile creeps onto Paper Cut’s face, relieved that his lover took his advice to heart. It’s not uncommon since Joe sort of sees Paper Cut as the all-knowing doctor but it does well to remind himself that the biker is as stubborn as Paper Cut himself.

“Wow, you actually bought a car this time around.”

And beautiful it is. Paper Cut does notice something about it though.

“Yeah! Look at her – beautiful, ain’t she?”

“Considering it’s the exact same model as the car you rented that weekend in summer, I’m guessing you got emotionally attached to that car.”

Joe lets out an awkward laugh then falls silent, and so does his smile.

“...We don’t talk about that car.”

Right on the money, Paper Cut thinks. He’ll humor his boyfriend.

“Anyway, shall we get going then?”

A smile that can rival the sunshine instantly makes its way to Joe’s lips.

“Last one to get in the car is a rotten egg!”

“And soooooo Sally can wait…”

“She knows it’s too lateeeee as we’re waaalkin’ on by~”

It’s full-on karaoke mode in that freshly-bought car. Though Paper Cut always insists he won’t sing along (“I’m not as good as you.” “It’s not about being good, babe, it’s about having fun!”), a part of him subconsciously makes him belt out to radio hits either way.

“Man, I love music.”

Paper Cut’s confession prompts Joe to let out a hearty laugh. The freedom in Paper Cut’s singing voice is already proof of that fact but it’s nice to hear it from the man himself. Then Joe has a flashbulb moment.

“I oughta take you out to the disco sometimes.”

“Oh God, no thank you. Too many sweaty people dancing in one small, dark room sounds like a nightmare.”

Joe often attempts to drag Paper Cut into social situations knowing he won’t ever do it himself. As introverted as he is, he’s still a social creature as far as Paper Cut’s concerned.

Joe had expected this response. The reasoning is just a bonus. But his spirit is not broken so easily (which is merely a delicate way of saying he’s stubborn).

“When you put it that way, it sounds like one! Don’t worry baby boy, I’ll make sure you’ll have a good time.”

Paper Cut falls into red, bashful silence at the phrase “baby boy”, cursing himself for being so weak to pet names as such, but especially that one. Joe only smirks, knowing his victory is sealed. After a minute, Paper Cut sighs.

“Okay, but still, I don’t dance.”

Well, now he’s just straight up lying, Joe thinks.

“You did yesterday. I saw you.”

Joe genuinely thinks this is a good argument – it would be if it weren’t for the fact that Paper Cut was not made aware of this fact.

“It is very not nice to peep on people!”

Paper Cut gives Joe’s shoulder a light hit, the blush never leaving his face. Joe manages to scratch the back of his head in shame with one hand.

“Yeah okay, but you looked like you were having a good time!”

“Keep your hand on the steering wheel, dammit!”

The two keep on bantering for the rest of the journey, the radio karaoke forgotten entirely.

They wouldn't say the idea of having a picnic here is anything original but they definitely expected less picnic blankets strewn about. But it's a pleasant sight – friends, couples, families, even individuals are out here surrounding themselves with nature's beauty with sandwiches in hand.

Thankfully, despite the amount of people, the couple still manages to find a spot for just the two of them, a little ways away from the rest of everyone else just in case Paper Cut gets too anxious (and in case Joe wants to initiate some “socially unacceptable” PDA – the two tries not to lament on the fate on couples like them too much).

They start unpacking their lunches – fried rice and fruit juices courtesy of Paper Cut, mineral water and (of course) sandwiches courtesy of Joe.

“Man, you’re out here serving us food like we’re kings meanwhile I just brought us plain-ass water and peanut butter jelly sandwiches like we’re kindergarten kids.”

The exaggeration pulls out a laugh from Paper Cut.

“C’mon, it’s not that serious. As long as it doesn’t kill me, I’ll put it in my mouth. And no, that’s not your cue to joke about you-know-what.”

A pout makes its appearance which Paper Cut ignores in grace, continuing to set up their little picnic spot with a little hum of a radio hit on his lips. With gentle sunlight and the scent of newly-bloomed tulips embracing the couple, Paper Cut feels like he’s a budding plant himself.

They start digging into their food; Joe sees this as a prime opportunity to gossip about the going-ons of their neighbors and the neighborhood kids while Paper Cut relishes in people-watching from their place.

At some point, Joe, being the kinaesthete that he is, gets up to walk around the garden but not without a quick heads-up to Paper Cut. Paper Cut, on the other hand, takes this as his cue to dominate the picnic blanket and lie down as if he’s making a snow angel (a picnic blanket angel, maybe). He soaks up the sun while he can, before he eventually retreats into his “man cave” as some locals have described his residence.

He tries to gain some inspiration from the springing of mother nature that surrounds him. Grass greener than the other side, the rows and rows of tulips in different hues reminiscent of a Holland rainbow, laughter tickling his sensitive ears, and skies as blue as his lover’s gentle eyes. Paper Cut never thought it was possible to feel this alive. Should this even be a bandage? It is an emotion so heavenly that it may transcend corporealness.

“Enjoying yourself, arent’cha?”

All things come to an end, yes, but beautiful things can begin right after. Joe snaps his boyfriend out of his trance with his teasing voice and the beautiful skies he has for eyes. In addition, he comes bearing gifts, which he then proceeds to rain down on his boyfriend who’s in the process of sitting up. Literally.

“What the–”

He is met with a shower of flowers and their healthy green stems, in which he tries to shield his face from by dropping his head and raising his hands, forming futile gates. Joe giggles and as he sits down, utters a quick apology for the prank. Paper Cut doesn’t take his teasing to heart but he pretends to sulk anyway, prompting his lover to elaborate on the sudden appearance of flowers separated from their fields and gathered on their picnic blanket.

“There’s a bunch of stray flowers around so I just hoarded them for no reason. But then this really nice lady taught me how to make flower crowns for them so that kinda took a bit of my time. You don’t mind, right?”

Paper Cut gives his lover a small laugh at his recount of his little walk. It’s difficult to get mad at this guy.

“Not at all. It’s very ‘you’ to already be making friends out here.”

Joe guiltily rubs a hand on the back of his head either way, offering an apologetic smile. His boyfriend merely shoots him a knowing glance.

“So lemme guess… you wanna try making flower crowns with me?”

Paper Cut starts to fiddle with a flower, staring at it curiously. He doesn’t have any kind of flower crown knowledge or experience so it’ll make for an interesting activity.

“Yeah! We can make them for each other!”

Joe is beaming once more. If the sun ever feels like retiring, Joe can easily fill in the vacancy.

“Haha, alright then.”

Well, at least he can say he tried his best?

For a first attempt, he’d say it’s not that bad. His demons are fighting amongst themselves to whisper in his ear that it could’ve been better while Paper Cut himself basks in the simplicity of having had fun making the flower crown.

“You finished?”

Paper Cut looks up from where his crown lay in his lap at the question and merely nods, a bit shy to show off his creation. Meanwhile, Joe raises his own like a well-earned trophy.

“Ta-da!”

The boundless wonder in his eyes can only make Paper Cut smile tenderly, matching the demure nature of the flower crown Joe made – all pale pink and yellow tulips, it’s a color combination that Paper Cut thinks is spring itself.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

That is all he can muster up to say aloud. There is a proud twinkle in Joe’s eyes that eventually transitions into an affectionate one, once he places the flower crown on his boyfriend’s head.

Paper Cut is as red as the flowers on his lap now and he averts his gaze out of embarrassment. A light chuckle escapes his lover’s lips but he doesn’t say anything else.

“W-Well… I made this. It’s not as good as yours but…”

The blushing boy somehow manages to mutter and, still without looking at his lover, outstretches his hands to show Joe his flower crown. It is a dance of crimson tulips, and Joe can feel Paper Cut’s deep love and passion in his creation.

“Cut… this is the prettiest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Aside from you, I mean.”

That manages to bring a laugh out of Paper Cut, his embarrassment subsiding slightly. He rises to his knees as Joe leans down to aid him in placing the crown on his head. They both laugh this time and Joe makes the first move to revert to his original position, allowing the flower crowning ceremony to resume.

They then proceed to gaze into each other’s eyes, both enamored by each other and unsure of what to do next with all this tension. But as usual, Joe initiates – once the two of them are within suitable proximity, he leans in for a delicate kiss. Paper Cut takes a second to overcome his shock and then reciprocates.

The world around seems to dissolve as they kiss and as Joe shifts to lay Paper Cut down. The former leans down once more to plant more kisses which the latter returns with no hesitation. Mother Nature sways in a sudden breeze, as if to shield them from prying eyes.

It is until Paper Cut lets out a little noise that clarity hits him like a truck. He instantly puts a hand between his face and Joe’s to stop him from continuing.

“Okay okay okay, I think that’s enough. We’re in public, remember?”

He insists as he watches Joe’s consciousness snap back into place as well. Joe only sighs, whether satisfied with their little love session or discontent that he was interrupted, Paper Cut doesn’t know. But it’s a reminder much needed for the both of them.

“It’s easy to forget when I’m around you, really.”

This time Paper Cut only rolls his eyes in amusement. His lover truly takes any chance to charm him to death.

“Corny.”

Joe guffaws as he pulls Paper Cut to sit up together.

“You like it though.”

Paper Cut lets out a brief “hah”, now leaning on Joe’s shoulder. Joe follows suit.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

They enjoy each other’s company for the remainder of the afternoon until they eventually have to head home (“Actually, can we stop by a mosque on the way home? It’s getting kind of late.” “Honey, you should’ve told me earlier, I’d hate for you to miss your prayer because of me!”). More bantering and singing ensue in their little car, with the addition of another kissing session once they’re actually home. But perhaps, home is wherever and whenever they’re together.

Spring is the season for the new, and the flower crowns that adorn their home walls mark the beckoning of a new chapter for the couple.

[obviousknife]

When you get this, answer one of the questions (or all if you really want!) then pass it on to 5 writer friends! 🥰 If you have more than one WIP, pick at random! We want you to talk about your works, and celebrate with you! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 1. What are you most excited to write with this WIP? 2. How has this WIP changed since the “daydream/brainstorm” stage? 3. Who is your favorite character in this WIP and why?

Question Time! Hooray! I’ll answer this for my new WIP. I couldn’t sleep last night because I’m so hyped.

1. What are you most excited to write with this WIP?

The main character, Aleksander, is already a villain when you meet him. When I first started writing (*redacted* years ago), I was doing a lot of RP, and my second favorite character to write with, the first being Will from my other WIP, was a villain named Nik. I had a lot of fun exploring dark themes and honing my villainous monologue skills. Sander is a character who has been in the works for a long time, and I’m really excited to write his story. It has a lot of interesting twists that will really set it apart from a lot of fairy tale inspired stories, namely the romance.

2. How has this WIP changed from the daydream/brainstorm stage?

I had an idea for a villain-centered romance years ago. I knew who the two main characters would be, and that’s it. Yesterday, I was avoiding my other two WIPs and decided to look up obscure fairy tales. For some reason when I get blocked, I write screwed up versions of fairy tales and things just happen. WWLF came to me after I wrote a version of Frozen where The Ice Queen went crazy and killed everyone. That’s where I discovered my love of horror….

Anyways, I found this weird story called “Hans My Hedgehog” about a husband and wife who pray for a child and are sent a half human/half hedgehog that they name…Hans, My Hedgehog. They are terrified of him and lock him away for 6 years until he breaks out and kills them. The whole story is kinda wild but ends nicely I guess. When I was reading it something just hit me. Sander was originally going to be some sort of animal hybrid as well but ultimately I decided on demons because I had some cool ideas for his design. I wrote an outline of the entire plot in ten minutes, and now I’m on the Hype Train™️ to drafting.

3. Who is your favorite character in this WIP and why?

1000% Queen Sadira. I’ve never written an ancient being before and the idea for her literally came to me as I was writing the WIP Intro. I will be taking some inspiration from one of my absolute favorite fantasy characters ever (Eda, from The Owl House) but the intention is to create this deity of sorts who watches the events of the story play out (events that she started), and is completely helpless to change them. She truly believes that her son can break his curse despite never speaking with him or seeing his actions be anything but despicable. She’s a dying goddess with her entire world on the brink of death, and she still found a way to hope, because Sander can’t fail. He just can’t.

[boydepartment]

Hello there! It's me, sheep anon! (One of these days I'm going to run out of ideas for greetings.) I realized after I wrote my message last time that I wrote Heartache instead of Superache, whoops, spelling is not my strong suit. My week hasn't been the greatest, but I feel much better than yesterday, so I'm working on it. *Looks at myself crying on the floor for 10 mins feeling miserable* I feel like giving advice today, so here's something that I've been repeating to myself recently:

Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up over making mistakes. Acknowledging the fact that we're all going to mess up in our lives is the antithesis to perfectionism. Otherwise, you'll realize that whoops, you've played yourself and forgot to treat yourself like a human being. You kinda have to live with yourself for the rest of your life, so get comfortable with yourself. The idea that I would have to spend the rest of my life being myself was incredibly scary in the beginning, especially since self hatred is a thing, but I find it really empowering now. The one person that would never leave you is yourself, so treat yourself as a friend. <3

There's still a lot I have to learn about the world, but I hope that this message is heard by whoever needs to hear it. Most of my advice I've gathered from other people and from my own experiences, and everything is a work in progress, but I'm working on being better. =) On a happier note, have fun going to the skz concert! Your outfit looks so cool and remember to stay hydrated throughout, I heard it gets really hot during the performance. It's really cold and windy where I live as well, so I hope it gets warmer and we can all go outside and bask in the sunlight. Hugs for everyone!

～⁠(⁠つ⁠ˆ⁠Д⁠ˆ⁠)⁠つ⁠｡⁠☆

-🐑

p.s. I did listen to Laufey and her music does remind me a lot of Dodie's, there's something warm about both of their music. If I had a recommend a content creator, it would be The Korean Vegan, her videos have very heartfelt and personal messages in them and have made me cry on more than one occasion. She's such a inspiration and her videos are about food, so you can't go wrong with that. She also has a podcast, which you can listen to on the go.

Hi again sheepie!!!! I’m really sorry your week has been rough :( I am glad it’s slowly getting better though!!

That is really good advice! I really believe I need to start thinking like that! I need to learn how to be less cruel towards myself, I’m very harsh towards myself and need a lot of things to be perfect in my eyes. Not towards other people of course, that would be really bad! In fact I tend to love people’s “imperfections.” Sometimes I get really sad when idols remove their uniqueness to them. I love unique and odd people. I need to start thinking that of myself. Your advice is always appreciated here :) thank you for always sharing

Also thank you so much!! I will definitely hydrate!!! I’ve been to a ton of concerts before and I tend to get a little wild! Not in a bad way though lol!!! I just love dancing around and singing along so much especially when I know the set list like the back of my hand!!

I cannot wait for the warmer weather, I live in an area where it gets warm very frequently so I am not used to the cold! I’m dying to finally get some better weather! I don’t do well in the cold lol please stay warm!!!!!! Cold and windy is a dangerous combo for colds!!!

I ended up watching a few videos from The Korean Vegan!!! This will genuinely help me a lot with food ideas because I don’t eat meat! I haven’t eaten meat since I was 11 or 12. I’m 18 now so it’s been AWHILE and a lot of testing different foods! Watching the food videos really made my stomach growl lol!!!

I hope your week starts to get a lot better! You are always very kind and sweet and so I hope things start looking up :) you know my ask box and dms are always open!

Have a good day sheepie!!

Oh! P.s

I wanted to ask if you currently have any favorite stray kids songs! I am always curious to ask this of people!!!

[drunkjaked]

Happy birthday!!!! We're the same age now omg!! I hope you've an awesome day!!!! I'm actually on a trip right now with my brother so I'll make sure to order some cake to celebrate! I'm sorry about your presentation, it really sucks when you don't do as well as you want 😔 but I'm happy to hear about the guy that's so exciting and he sounds nice!! my classes went well but I'm kind of upset because on one of my final papers I got a way better grade than I deserve and I feel bad for people who tried. I wrote it like half an hour before it was due and actually missed the deadline by a couple minutes so I had to email it to my professor but it was less than half as long as it was supposed to be and didn't have a conclusion and I didn't use actual evidence it was just really bad but I got an a??? And like I shouldn't complain but I will I did not deserve that grade >:( I'm really happy with my necklace, though!!! It's so so pretty and I would share it with you if I could :( I'm not really doing anything for the holidays, I get back from my trip right before Christmas but my older brothers won't be able to come to celebrate with us like they usually do 😔 but we'll call them so it'll be okay. I hope you have fun with your family!!! I'm so dependent on my family idk what I'll do when I move out >.< I actually graduated this semester so I'm done with school?? And I'm starting my career?? Wild. But I'm planning on traveling so I'll have to get used to doing stuff by myself -_- I totally understand about the spotify wrapped I wish you didn't have to go through all that to get the stats and could just see it cause it's a little much. My top artist was Beyoncé because her new album is so good and I can't stop listening it's on loop and my top song... was misery business... I honestly didn't think I listened to it that much but I guess I did. The Disney specials weren't that great now, I really just watched them for the nostalgia but phineas and ferb holds up well I actually watch it a lot... I can match every song to its episode it's kinda sad... but it's fun! Marianne was a really weird show it's about this author whose haunted by some witch demon ghost thing it's really good but it's also super freaky so you probably don't want to watch it... my favourite genres are horror and rom coms which I know is kind of an odd match but idk I've always liked them and they have their own separate appeal 🤷‍♀️ and omg you're going to Paris??? That's so cool!!! I'm actually going next year! Have an amazing time and tell us all about it!!! I think that's everything so have an awesome day!!! -💕

thank you 💕 for the birthday wishes, i truly appreciate it and im glad to be age mates now !!! my day was awesome indeed thank you so much :DDD i hope you guys are having the best time and if you do end up ordering cake i hope it’s the loveliest yummiest cake in the world ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

i have this one friend who’s been studying abroad and i haven’t seen him since september when he left but he came home to surprise me for my birthday and i literally cried so hard it was so so so sweet and i really appreciate him :’))) it sucks he had to go back yesterday though it was great seeing him anyways <3

it was a design project where we had to design and present our idea for a housing estate and i did well in terms of my part of the design and other things i contributed which i’m happy about !!! just sucks i didn’t express it well enough on the day but it’s alright :))) he is really sweet, he ended up calling me to say happy birthday and then we spoke for like 20 minutes about random stuff and caught up a little which was really so so lovely .. sigh 

you got an A??? that’s SUPER impressive on it’s own but especially considering the time frame you had !!! i definitely understand that aspect of feeling bad but it’s over and done with now so don’t beat yourself up too hard ! congrats anyways :DDD 

the necklace is gorgeous honestly, please wear it enough for the both of us hahahahh - you are so sweeeeet !!! 

sorry to hear that your older brothers won’t be able to join you though :( it’s good that you guys will be able to call and chat though and i hope you have a good time nonetheless ! and at least you’re on this trip with your one brother :) 

i actually moved out for my first year but i had to go back home because of covid and everything and i remember being so worried about being away from my family but it’ll be easier than you think when you do end up moving ! don’t worry too much about it 

AND WOWWWWW YOU GRADUATED??? wow wow wow CONGRATULATIONS THAT IS SO SO MAJOR IM VERY PROUD OF YOU 🥳🥳🥳 and i definitely feel that about finishing everything up.. if everything goes well i’ll be graduating in the summer which is just.. insane to think about – though im looking at applying for a postgrad so i’ll have a little more time :p 

wishing you the best of luck in the world of work when the time comes ! i believe in you 110% :DDD travelling will be so so so much fun ugh my older brotherwent travelling a couple years back and had the best time so i’m hoping the same for you if you’re able to <333 

i actually haven’t listened to her new album yet.. any stand out tracks i should look forward to? OHHHH MISERY BUSINESS oh my gosh i used to listen to paramore all the time that’s so awesome of you wow 

phineas and ferb oh wow i remember loving it so much, such a good theme song as well, AND THAT IS NOT SAD i think it’s really cool actually, i hope to rewatch and be as well versed as you someday :) and wow marianne sounds .. terrifying. but i’m glad you enjoyed it ! 

do you think there’s a market for horror romcom hybrids because rhat would probably be super interesting.. do you have a favourite romcom? 

and oh my god yes i am .. i genuinely can’t believe it :ooo i’m going with my best friend and i’m so so so excited for everything we’ll experience ! extra special because it’ll be our first overnight trip together so im hoping to make the best memories in the world and i’ll for sure talk about it forever and in detail i think 😭😭😭 

so fun you’re going there too, i hope you have the best time and i can’t wait to hear about it !!! 

i hope you have an awesome day too thank u so much and again 🫂🫂🫂

[lollytea]

Girl Talk

(ngl I hate this sm. I wrote this fic yesterday, the file corrupted and i lost everything, had a breakdown, rewrote everything the next day because I am obnoxiously stubborn. Anyways Hunter and Luz content. Bon Appetit?)

(READ ON AO3)

“Okay, but what am I even supposed to say to her? Oh! Maybe I could write down some jokes on the back of my glyph slips in case things get awkward. Wait, no, I don't want her to think I'm not taking this seriously. I don't need to be goofy all the time just to hang out with her. I need her to know that I'm serious about her and this whole...romantic thing. And I know she gets upset when she thinks I'm making fun of her so...”

“Alright, so, get this. It says here that there was once this old witch who lived on the outskirts of Latissa and his whole thing was experimenting by mixing paints and magic together. Apparently the stuff he created was like....super powerful.”

“I mean, she said she likes me 'cause I'm goofy and funny and lovable and...and...and I'm sure there's other adjectives I could use but I'm drawing a blank here. So, who am I to deprive her of what she signed up for? But I can't just....ugh, I can't even think right!”

“It doesn't have a lot of info on his specific technique but I'm sure if we did some more research, we could successfully replicate his experiments. We're pretty good at figuring stuff out. Woah, wait. I wonder what would happen if we created glyphs with this paint....maybe it would enhance the spell's level of power. Oh, that would be so cool!”

Luz stopped pacing, the floorboards practically burning after she thoroughly wore down the surface with her frantic footsteps. She set a hand on her hip and turned a withering look on her guest.

“Call me coocoo but I don't think you're listening to a word I say.”

Hunter lifted his head to blink up at her, chewing on the end of a pen. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, boxed in by towers of Eda's Wild Magic books.

There was a glassy look in his eye, as if he was trying to get his bearings after being abruptly yanked out of an alternate dimension.

He had been, in a way. Luz was inclined to call it “Booksville.”

When Luz first met Hunter, this sort of stuff was a big, huge No-No for him. She could've invited him to take a look at any one of those books, packed with information on that obsession of his and of course, he'd be crazy with intrigue but he would hesitate. If he even opened the book at all, he'd card through the pages with an almost jumpy sense of caution, as if the paper itself would sting his fingers.

Well, that ship had certainly sailed. It had taken him a while to get fully comfortable but nowadays, Hunter didn't ask twice before digging into the contents of Eda's books, soaking up every tidbit of every sentence until he had exhausted every page.

He had even brought his own index flags to mark his favorite passages. He had gone on a little rant earlier about how Eda was an outright maniac for dog-earring the page corners.

Luz made a mental note to never show him the state of her Azura books. He would probably cry.

Hunter had become so lost in the Wild Magic sauce, he didn't even seem to care about the fact that he was not supposed to be here.

Of course, Eda didn't mind that he was here. That is to say, Luz didn't technically tell her he was here. She and King were currently out, being menaces to society and all that fun stuff, as they usually were before Luz would sneak Hunter in.

So, to be fair, Eda had never specifically said that Luz was not allowed to let The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven into their home.

It was probably fine, right?

Yeah, it was probably fine that Luz had been hiding The Golden Guard of the Emperor's coven in her bedroom like some kind of forbidden pet.

Speaking of forbidden pets, that precious red cardinal of his was perched like a Christmas decoration atop his shoulder. That little rascal did wonders for Hunter. He seemed so much cuter than he was when there was an adorable little palisman snuggling up to him.

Once Hunter had processed what Luz said to him, his features screwed up tight. He was offended.

“Whadd'ya mean I'm not listening? I bet you can't repeat anything I was just talking about.”

“Ugh! Yeah, Hunter, I heard you. Paints! You wanna start painting as a hobby and let me just tell you, I fully support your budding creativety and will hype up your work with my entire heart but please. Right now I am having a full blown Amity Calamity!”

“Yeah, okay, that is not what I was talking about. Also, I get that you're freaking out n' all but....what do you expect me to do about it?” He threw his hands about wildly, at a complete loss. “Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,”

“I don't knowww....” Luz groaned. “I just....ugggghhh.” She buried her head in her hands, ruffling her hair into oblivion, like it would miraculously stimulate her brain cells into action. It released some pent up frustration, at least. “I wish it was easier for us to just talk about girls together.”

Hunter perked up. “Talk about girls? Are you kidding? Of course we can talk about girls, dummy!”

“Wait, really?” Luz asked, taken aback by this apparent development.

“Yeah, for sure. One sec,” Buzzing with eagerness, Hunter dove into his stacks of books, emerging seconds later with a worn, dust encrusted volume. It was so ancient, the title had faded away but Hunter still put his finger to where the big letters should be.

“Notable Female Witches of The Savage Ages,” He rattled off delightedly. “They were considered the mothers of Wild Magic. Their style of spell was really quite advanced, see they--”

Despite her frayed nerves, Luz sill managed a weak laugh.

As insufferable as he could be sometimes, she really did like this nerd a lot.

“Okay, Hunter. Buddy,” She said gently. “This stuff sounds really cool and I wanna hear all about it at some point buuuut....when I say girls, I mean...y'know. Amity specifically.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah.”

Hunter's face fell with disappointment but he was quick to snap back into a look of cool indifference. He shut the book in his lap with a soft thump, set it aside and turned his full attention to Luz.

“Sooooo...” he began awkwardly, scratching at his ear. It could not be more obvious that Hunter wanted nothing to do with this discussion. But Luz appreciated that he was trying. “Girlfriend problems, huh? Shoot.”

Luz's cheeks darkened. “Heh. 'Girlfriend'. Yeah, that's...uh...” She was suddenly very inconvenienced by the existence of her own hands so she clasped them together tight to keep herself from fidgeting. “That is.....a word for Amity.”

Hunter frowned, puzzled. “Okaaaay? So, what's the issue?”

“Ohhhhhh, boy.” An ironic, long suffering smile stretched across her face. “Let me just tell you that there is a lot goin' on up here, pal.” Luz tapped her finger against her temple. “So if I'm gonna give you the full unabridged version--”

“You could summarize it.”

“You know I don't know how to do that.”

“Yeah, I know.” Hunter sighed. “Figured it was worth a shot. Okay, let's hear it.”

“Alright but this is gonna be a lot so I suggest you strap yourself in,”

Luz sucked in a deep inhale, with full intent to let the entire flood of thoughts cascade out her mouth.

Hunter's eyes snapped to the floor, like he was actually looking for a safety harness to attach himself to. Then he seemed to realize that was ridiculous, as he scowled to himself. Little Rascal chirped and he irritably mumbled something under his breath in response.

And then Luz took off.

“Alright, so!” She announced, clapping her hands together. “So me and Amity have known each other fooooor...a while now? Yeah, it's been a while. And we've been pretty good friends ever since and then one day, she rescued me from her scary mom and she had this black flowing cape and her voice went all low and then suddenly, huh. Doki doki, y'know?” She thumped a fist against her chest. “I was gettin' all feelings-y up in here,”.

“And then a little later I figured out that we were both feeling kinda feelings-y and I was all like,” She mimed a brain explosion. “Pshww....”

“Pshww....” Hunter repeated quietly, testing out the little sound effect on his tongue. “Doki...doki....?”

“Yeah. Exactly. Doki doki. Pshww.” Luz nodded, as if he had made a valuable contribution. “So, now we're both here in the same boat, fully shish kebab-ed by Cupid's arrow.”

“Hold up. What language are you speaking?”

“And things are....great? Nice? Sorta hard to believe but stuff actually happens. We hold hands a few times, we...” The volume of her voice dropped to a bashful murmur. “we kiss a few times. There was so many beautiful, amazing romance-y moments that happened, just like in movies, y'know?”

“Movies....?” Hunter's bewildered stare turned from Luz to the bird on his shoulder, as if he was going to get any further clarification from either of them.

“Right! But here's the thing. It sorta feels like all that stuff just went by in a blur. I don't even know how I did any of that. The hand holding, the smooches the....ugh! It was like I was on autopilot or something and now I have no idea how to operate. Now, no matter how hard I try to get the vibe right, I can recreate those moments. So now it's starting to feel like...I don't know how to do anything!”

Luz's arms were whizzing around like an out of control windmill.

“I mean, Sure, Amity takes the lead sometimes but I can't make her carry this entire....relationship? Flirtationship? Whatever it is that's happening here! I gotta act or something! But I've been thinking about it waaaay too much. I never know the right time to hold her hand, I never know if she wants me to tell her she looks cute or if now maybe isn't the right time or...it's awkward, okay?! I've been making it awkward 'cause I don't know what to do! I-I don't even know for sure if we're dating! We've never talked about it!”

The last sentence came out as a squeak and Luz realized she had used up all her oxygen and needed to take a breather.

Hunter had not said a word but Luz did not know what to make of that dissecting stare of his, that studied her with a mixture of confusion and fascination. Like she was some kind of peculiar animal. A flushed, panting, peculiar animal.

“So.” He said finally, holding his palm out for Little Rascal to migrate from his shoulder to his hands. “Why don't you talk about it?”

He asked like it was the obvious solution. Luz was a little irked by it, but she kept her patience.

“Oh, Hunter. Sweet Hunter.” She heaved an exhausted sigh. “It is not that simple.”

He still didn't seem to understand. “Well, why not?”

“'Cause it's--.....Uh.” Luz trailed off, twirling her wrist around as if expecting to snatch an eloquent articulation out of thin air.

“Okay. Lemme put it like this. Amity is....really special. To me. Sometimes I still can't believe that she's real and she's friends with me and she likes me and....whew.” She pressed her fingertips to her cheek, surprised by the warmth. Even thinking that sort of stuff prompted a blush or two but it seemed saying it out loud made her face scalding.

“Anyway, now that we're going through....this, everything feels so much more....fragile?” Her voice rose in pitch, uncertain if 'Fragile' was even a suitable word to describe her feelings. It was just a vague, wishy-washy concept to describe.

“Like I feel like I could break it all so easy, just by....” Wait, she knew. She had figured out her handle on this.

“Just by being me.” She felt an ache just by admitting it, but it was the truth. Luz exhaled unsteadily to compose herself, clasping her fists tight into the fabric of her shorts and she continued...calmly.

“I can't risk doing anything that's gonna push her or make her uncomfortable or scare her away or...y'know, ruin this.” She held up her palms with a heavy shrug. “I-I don't have a plan and it would be way too reckless to wing it. Who knows what would come out of my mouth? She tells me a billion times that my weirdness is what she likes about me but...it can just as easily be the thing she hates if I overdo. I can't overdo it.

Luz was expecting Hunter to look at her like she was dumb again, but surprisingly, he nodded. A slow, thoughtful nod, as he absentmindedly scratched Little Rascal under the chin.

As the silence filled a little longer, she was starting to believe he had nothing else to add, which was fine. She had wanted to rant her heart out but realistically, she couldn't imagine Hunter having any advice for her. This wasn't exactly his area of expertise.

“Hey, Luz.” He said at last, voice surprisingly breezy. “You know those books that you really like? Uhh, with the nice witch Azuzu or whatever,”

“It's the Good Witch Azura!” Luz snapped, hands flying to her hips. “And I know you just pretended to not know her name. You're just trying to be cool.”

“Yeah, yeah.” The corner of Hunter's lip tweaked upwards. “And wasn't there that other witch that you liked to pretend was Azura's girlfriend?

Luz scoffed, finding it utterly unbelievable that this obnoxious little man had the audacity to be so dismissive towards her favorite book series, when she had been sweet enough to smuggle him in here.

“She was not her 'Girlfriend', she was her 'Soulmate' and if you even listened to me talk about it, you would know that. For your information, her name was Hecate and she began as Azura's rival but over the course of the series, they developed a beautiful, unbreakable bond that was jam packed with heavy romantic subtext. I mean, even their declaration of their eternal friendship in Book Five, which was really emotionally poignant by the way, reads so much like a love confession, it's a crime. And it's like...Ladies! Just kiss already!”

“Okay. Right. Sure. I understood some of that.”

“I mean, I guess I've read a ton of Heczura fanfics to tide me over. It's hard to find a fic where they don't kiss. Hold on, you know what fanfiction is, right?”

“Yeah.” The light in Hunter's eyes dimmed. “You made me sit through that three hour long slideshow presentation, remember?”

“Oh, right,” Luz popped a finger gun. “That was fun,”

It was fun, but a lot of work. Hunter was pouting over losing a measly three hours of his time. Well, newsflash, nerd, Luz spent two weeks working on that. Nobody is getting their hours back.

“And what usually happens in those fanfictions?” Asked Hunter, propping his chin up with his hand, as Little Rascal hopped over to a pile of books. “How do they end?”

“I told you, they kiss. A lot of the time they look deeply into each others eye and talk about how they complete each other like two halves of one heart. And y'know, moments of miscellaneous fluff.”

“Uh huh. Interesting,” He mused, tapping his pen against his bottom lip.

Luz knew Hunter could be a little...eccentric but was he really analyzing fanfiction right now? Where did the sudden interest come from?”

“So, uh, besides Azura and Hecate, are there any other...boats(?) that you--”

“Ships.” Luz corrected him.

Hunter snapped his fingers. “Right. Ships. Basically love stories that you really like.”

“We talkin' canon or non canon?”

Hunter squinted at her, lost. Seems somebody was not taking enough notes during the slideshow presentation. “Both? A-all...?”

“Oh, well, there's a bunch.”

Luz had no intention of listing every single ship that had captured her heart. They would be here all week.

“I've spent my whole life reading books, watching movies and anime and--”

“Anime...?”

“Hunter, please!” Luz squeaked as calmly as she possibly could, but she could not deny that she had started to vibrate. “You have no idea how excited you just made me at the thought of teaching you about anime but I'd need to dedicate a whole day to that 'cause I need to meet Amity soon and I'm still sorta in crisis mode. So, let's stay on topic.”

Her brow furrowed. “Whatever the heck the topic is! Why are we talking about ships, Huntifer?”

He waved off her question. “Okay but how does the story usually end for all your ships? The book ones, the anime ones, all of them,”

“We've been over this with the fanfiction discussion. They kiss, Hunter. Geez, you want a diagram or something?”

“But what else?” He prompted.

“What do you mean 'What else?'”

Now this was just getting ridiculous.

“They kiss!” Luz said with a huge amount of emphasis. “And again, miscellaneous fluff. They'll do stuff like pick each other up and swing around, hold hands and....walk off into the sunset, y'know?” She waved off all that extra padding as unimportant to the conversation. (Though Luz did really enjoy miscellaneous fluff.)

“Well yeaaaah,” Hunter was giving off vibes of a grade school teacher who gave her little nudges in the correct direction but ultimately wanted her to figure out the right answer herself. She wished he could just give it to her because honestly, she didn't know where this any of this was going.

“But when exactly do they ask each other if they're dating?”

“Whaa?” Well, that settled it. He had paid no attention to the slideshow whatsoever. “Nah, nah, they don't do stuff like that. They don't have to 'cause they're already perfect for each other. All they gotta do is look into each others' eyes and they just...” Luz shrugged, feeling lightness bubble in her chest at the very thought. She had a feeling her smile looked pretty dopey. “They just know.”

“Right. And why don't you and Amity just know?”

The bubbles burst and the lightness turned to dead weight.

The question speared through Luz's gut. Her entire body went rigid.

She had known but...

She had been trying not to...

Not to think about it.

Because if she thought about it, she knew she'd cry.

But there is was. A culmination of every coil of underlying dread that had been gradually writhing in her stomach in a monster of anxiety, summarized in a short and sweet collection of simplistic little words.

Luz did not just know when it came to Amity. She was constantly taking shots in the dark. That is, if she was even brave enough to take a shot at all.

The two of them together were not as seamlessly synchronized as couples in love were supposed to be.

Her throat stung.

Her vision went cloudy with blotted tears but she managed to catch Hunter's stony expression break into one of sheer panic.

“Wh-- Luz! Hey!” He yelped, scrambling to pick himself up from the floor. He nearly tripped over his books as he stood and hurried over to close the distance between them. He made to reach out to her but his hand stopped, just as it was about to brush against her shoulder. It hovered there for a moment, fingers curling and uncurling with uncertainty.

“Luz, listen, I wasn't....I-I mean, what I meant was...uhh. C-c'mon, cut it out!” Hunter's voice crackled with desperation and despite crying her eyes out, Luz felt the watery chuckle at the back of her throat.

“Aww, does crying make the Golden Guard uncomfy?” She tried to tease but her words came out all wobbly.

In fairness to the poor guy, it probably did. Luz couldn't imagine that dealing with tears in a delicate matter, was ever something he would need to handle in his line of work.

For all she knew, this was his first time having to comfort someone like this.

“You don't get to make jokes and cry at the same time. You gotta pick one.” Hunter snipped, but his tone was not nearly as cutting as usual. Luz was almost tempted to call it soft.

Clearing her eyes with the heel of her hands, she finally felt that warm touch on her shoulder, and then another rest against her upper arm.

Somehow the gentleness cracked all her remaining composure and she dissolved into ragged sobs.

Hunter did not speak nor did he let go out her until she got every tear out of her system. He waited patiently, tracing circles with his thumb into her skin.

Eventually, her sniffles fell silent and her eyes no longer blurred. She took a deep breath and the following exhale was shaky but manageable.

“Are you....good?” He asked cautiously.

Luz nodded.

Hunter removed his hands so carefully, you'd think doing so would cause her physical pain. He must have heard once that people were more prone to being hurt when they were already upset and assumed it was literal.

“Do you really think that...Amity and I....” Luz's voice was low and quiet but her jaw was set tight. She refused to let her words be whimpered. She looked up, meeting Hunter's eyes. “Aren't right for each other?”

“What? No! No, no, no,” Hunter looked positively alarmed at the accusation. “Luz th-that's not even remotely what I meant by that.”

“Well, then I guess you accidentally hit the nail on the head.” Luz managed a strained, bitter little smile. “'Cause it's true.”

“Luz, c'mon,” Hunter groaned, exasperated. “Don't talk like that, you've got it mixed up.”

“No.” Said Luz, tone quiet, polite yet strikingly obstinate. “You were right, Hunter.”

For someone who loved being right, he didn't seem thrilled at all.

“When it comes to Amity, I don't just know. I don't always know what she's thinking or what she wants from me. After all this time, I-I shouldn't still be trying to figure her out,”

Luz wanted to figure her out. Every time she was in her orbit, she wanted nothing more to turn over every last piece of that girl and find every hidden gem.

But now, it like she was barricaded. Something was keeping her from moving forward, from discovering Amity.

“I mean, we've kissed.” The memories of Amity were turning more and more bittersweet by the second “I told her I loved her! We had our happy ending already! A-at least I thought it was a happy ending. But we're not acting like people who are made for each other are meant to act!”

“How do you even know how people who are meant for each other are meant to act?!” Hunter demanded, as though it wouldn't reach Luz's skull unless he raised his voice. “In all the love stories you've read, it always ends with a kiss, doesn't it?”

“And--”

“And miscellaneous fluff. Yeah, I get it.” Hunter shooed the detail away before clearing his throat.

“Point is, they never talk about what comes after. You don't read about all those awkward talks where they decide if they're dating or not and talks about what they're okay with and what they're not. It always just cuts to the perfect, shiny romantic stuff, all tied up with a bow and because of that,” He clutched Luz by the shoulders.”You don't know how to move forward in a relationship 'cause you've never had a frame of reference to help you along.”

“Hey, that's not true!” She tore away from Hunter's grip. “I'll have you know that I imagine my favorite ships as couples all the time,”

“Yeah and lemme guess,” He droned, setting a hand on his hip and launching into a mockingly saccharine tone of voice. “They understand each other soooo well all the time, they can practically read each others' mind and everything is smooth sailing and peachy all the time.”

“Yeah, duh.” Luz didn't quite what he was making fun of. “That's what being a ship is all about.”

“Okay, fine, maybe, but I cannot stress this enough,” He ran his fingers through his hair before making a cutting gesture with the side of his hand, directed at Luz. “You are not a ship.”

“Well, yeah, obviously. I'm only one--”

“I mean that the two of you aren't a ship! Listen to me, you're not Azura and Hecate. You're Luz and Amity. You're real people. You've got like a million different emotions and they're messy and crazy and you don't understand most of them.”

“Okay, Hunter, I get it, I'm a hot mess. You don't have to rub it in.”

“We're all hot messes, Luz!” He exploded. “Every single one of us. 'Cause we're real and not book characters.” He was pacing back and forth now as he ranted and raved, gesticulating like a madman.

“We gotta handle all the awkward conversations that don't fit into books. You gotta talk to real people to get them and you can talk to them for years and years but you're never gonna entirely understand them. In your love stories, it's all kisses and happy endings and it's shiny and sparkly and perfect and nerds like you Eat. It.Up!”

Hunter emphasized his point by poking Luz's forehead, shocking a startled laugh out of her. As wound up as he was, the noise surprised him too.

Her laugh was contagious and soon the room was silent, expect for the sound of quiet, breathy giggles.

One of the knots in Luz's stomach had untangled itself. Hunter did make a point that she could understand. Yeah, okay, maybe she had been a little too wrapped up in fiction to successfully navigate through her own life. Luz had never been the most logical person so it was comforting for a levelheaded counter-argument to whatever was currently inflaming her anxiety.

Obviously, this didn't fix everything. Now, she understood why this wasn't easy but that didn't mean she magically knew where to go from here.

Once the shadow of Luz's smile had finally faded away, she looked up and studied Hunter for a long while. Her gaze may have been a bit intense as nervousness began to creep into his features.

“H-hey. Uh. Sorry if I was a little too--”

“Huntifer, I think you might be on to something with this one,”

He blinked at her before brightening with relief, shrugging it off. “Oh. Yeah, maybe. I dunno, I guess it's worth some thought.

Astonishing how Hunter could switch from the cockiest, most obnoxious kid in the Boiling Isles to a remarkably humble guy. Maybe it depended on context. Or he was just embarrassed that he sorta lost control of himself in his impatience.

Luz nodded. “I'd say a lot of thought. But..I think things are still gonna be awkward. With Amity. I still don't know how I'm supposed to talk this stuff through with her.”

Hunter snorted, loosely folding his arms over chest and resting his weight on one hip. And just like that, with that simple change of posture, he looked full of himself again “You wanna know a secret that's probably not much of a secret?”

He beckoned Luz to lean in closer and said in a stage whisper. “Amity probably doesn't know either.”

Huh. Yeah, Luz knew that. She knew that at the back of her mind but...she hadn't really thought about it much. She was a little too preoccupied with her own inexperience.

Hunter's lofty grin softened. “So, it's a good thing neither of you are doing it alone, right? Don't you think you could figure out how together?”

Figure out how together....

The realization sank from the surface of her mind, and everything was processing very fast then suddenly, everything clicked.

Amity.

Luz knew Amity. Luz trusted Amity. Luz loved Amity. If there was any person Luz believed would stumble alongside her through things they didn't quite understand yet, it was Amity. And it occurred to her that Luz would help Amity in return without hesitation.

With enough notches and trimming and smoothing edges, if they worked through this together, Luz and Amity could click too. Maybe not perfectly, not for a while just yet.

But enough that they could make each other happy.

A swing of confidence so strong flooded Luz's system, she swore she nearly collapsed. She felt the grin tugging at her mouth.

She could try. She could absolutely try. They could both try.

“Is...that a yes?” Hunter asked, gauging her expression.

Luz nodded so speedily, it made her head hurt. But then she realized something else and she turned a very specific look on Hunter.

But before he could ask if she was about to attack him, she held up two fingers on each hand and then placed them on either side of her head so they jutted out just behind her ears.

“Man, I don't know anything about that stuff,” Said Luz, in what she believed to be an uncanny imitation of Hunter's voice.

He frowned. “What are the theatrics for?”

“You lied to me!” Luz was delighted.

“I-I didn't lie!” He loudly objected, pointed ears scorching bright pink. “That was just common sense, you doofus. You know, that thing you lack.”

“You know, that thing you lack.” Luz parroted, swinging her hips from side to side. Once again, her impression remained flawless.

“Don't do that!”

“Don't do that!

“Stop, you weirdo!”

“Stop, you weirdo!”

At the peak of riled up, Hunter floundered for a retort that Luz wouldn't shoot back at him with childish mimicking. But then he cracked and wound up sticking his tongue out at her.

Luz simply mirrored him and Hunter huffed indignantly, turning on his heel and stomping back towards his books.

He had barely made a few steps when Luz lunged at him from behind, draping her long, lanky arms around his shoulders.

“Wha—Hey! Get off!” He squawked, struggling to pry her off him as Luz squished her cheek against his.

“Huntifer~” She singsonged. “Can you please calm down for two seconds and let me say thanks already?”

Hunter knotted his arms and his scowl didn't soften but Luz didn't miss how he stopped trying to squirm out of her grip.

“Even though you were kinda rambly and all over the place, what you said helped. It helped a lot. I know this is something I can handle and I know that 'cause of you. Thanks, nerd.”

She waited patiently until she felt his shoulders loosen. And then he glanced back at her and there was a smile. A small, tight, subtle smile but it was good enough for Luz.

And then with a burst of adrenaline, she gripped him tighter and planted a big, wet raspberry on his cheek.

Predictably, Hunter blew his top. He screeched furiously and his hands went wild to push her off but Luz was stronger than she looked. And so help her, she would give Hunter this affection or die trying.

Dying trying did not seem unlikely, actually. Hunter had told her once before that if he ever murdered her, it would probably be her own fault. Luz could not argue with that.

“That is so gross!” He griped, once Luz had finally released him.

“You're gross~” She chirped, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

Hunter wiped the spit off his cheek with his palm before looking up at Luz with narrowed eyes

Luz did not have time to brace herself and suddenly she was tackled to the ground. She kicked and she screamed as Hunter dragged his disgusting wet hand across her face.

“GrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGrossGroooooss!”

Hunter cackled maniacally the whole time.

They carried on like rowdy toddlers for a while until Luz had to go meet Amity, leaving Hunter and his palisman to themselves.

It was too weird to admit out loud but he was disappointed that she was gone. Hanging out with her like this wasn't that bad. Talking with her, arguing with her, wrestling with her. It all made Hunter feel....so much like a kid.

Something that he had realized recently was that he still liked being a kid.

In spite of the doom and gloom of white of gold, of the clawed scars in his shoulder, of the spear that grazed his hair, a spark of childishness remained in Hunter that had never been entirely snuffed out.

It wasn't until he met Luz that he began actively trying to keep that spark alive.

The sun had long since fallen asleep by the time Luz returned and the moon was pooling in the sky. A little after sun down, he heard the downstairs door slam shut and the loud exuberant voice of The Owl Lady boomed from the floorboards beneath him. By the sound of it, she was celebrating a successful day's work. Hunter wondered what she and the cute little demon had managed to steal today.

His snoozing palisman was tucked snug in the crook of his neck, a pleasant warmth against his skin. It was a good idea to keep the bird close. If someone other than Luz came barreling into the room, he'd better have his staff on hand to magically conceal himself.

But once an hour passed and the chatter of the witch and the demon below gradually faded into loud snoring, Hunter presumed they had passed out on the couch. For the time being, he should be fine.

Hunter hoped that creepy owl tube thing wouldn't rat them out. Fortunately, Luz had promised that Hooty was willing to take a bribe but unfortunately, gossip spread fast in the Boiling Isles. Now The Golden Guard had a reputation for being a lunatic who visited the night market several times, buying dead mice in bulk.

He snorted to himself, combing through 'From Bones to Fire: A Study of Wild Magic Volume 2'. Everything he went through just to get his hands on knowledge.

Well, also to be young with Luz.

Yet another hour passed and somehow, being surrounded by his own obsession, Hunter got a little overstimulated. To give his brain a rest, he was now flipping through some tattered old magazine that Luz brought with her from the human realm. Some of the articles were practically gibberish to him but overall, it was okay. He learned he was a Scorpio. He didn't know what that entailed but it sounded cool.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as Luz burst into the room, announcing her return.

Startled, his palisman flew into a fluster, cheeping like crazy before it settled down atop his head. Hunter, meanwhile, had flung the magazine away so fast, it was like it had contaminated him, and snatched up the closest book to pretend he was reading it the whole time.

Thankfully, Luz didn't notice.

“Hey there, Little Rascal,” She cooed, prancing across the room and plopping down next to Hunter. “And hey, you little bookworm, you.”

“Bookworm?” Hunter knocked his shoulder against hers. “You looking for a fight, kid?”

“Whaaaat? Hunter, you wound me, I was just....Ohhh, my bad. I always forget that our bookworms and your bookworms are two waaaay different things.” She paused thoughtfully before shaking her head. “Actually, I don't retract anything. You look like a bookworm.”

“Yeah, well, you smell like a selkidomus.” Hunter smirked.

“Hey!” Luz bumped their shoulders. “Can you blame me? I've had one heck of a day with lots of nervous sweating!”

He was surprised that got him laughing but that tended to happen around her.

“So, how'd it go?” Hunter asked, even though he already knew the answer.

Luz's beam was as bright as a dozen of her light spells. The corner of her lip was twitching, as if she wanted to smile wider but it was physically impossible.

“We're dating.” She stated, no more than a whisper.

It obvious since the moment she entered the room, far bouncier and bubblier than usual but Hunter still grinned.

He had expected her to scream it from the rooftops, to grind his ribcage into powder with the force of her hug, to set off a riot of firework glyphs, spelling it out in lights.

No matter how she could have chosen to tell him, he would have been just as giddy as she was.

And yet, despite the lack of fanfare, somehow, it still felt so much like Luz. Though he knew that in the morning, she would tell the entire Boiling Isles, right here, right now, only Hunter knew. Something about that felt nice.

But the quiet serene scene was momentarily ruptured when Hunter spotted Luz re-adjusting herself out of the corner of his eye and he was immediately on high alert. Another raspberry, he could sense it.

“Luz, don't you d--”

It wasn't a raspberry.

The feather-light peck against his cheek was gone before he fully processed it, as Luz drew away with that big stupid smile still plastered on her face.

Hunter blinked away the surprise, looking to her with a raised eyebrow.

“What's that look for? In this family, we give each other hugs and kisses~”

He felt his lip quirk upwards as he scoffed, turning away with a shake of his head.

“That was so gross.”

“You're gross.”

“For real, it was even more gross than the raspberry.”

Luz burst into giggles and Hunter could understand why everything was suddenly a million times funnier to her. She will still fizzling with that giddiness that Amity had kissed into her and now it was all spilling out.

To be honest, listening to a teenage girl gush and squeal about her girlfriend did not seem like something Hunter would ever willingly subject himself to.

But this was Luz. His friend, Luz.

He lightly pinched the pudge of her cheek. “Heeeey. You wanna tell me all about it, don't you?”

Luz snapped her head over to gawk at him, astonished. And then the excitement took hold and her hands started flapping and she looked about ready to explode with delight. Her mouth was already flying open to give every solitary detail of her evening with Amity Blight.

But then she stopped, a crease forming on her brow. He caught that unreadable look she gave him and the way her eyes skimmed over the books that scattered the floor around them.

“Hmmm.” She stroked her chin with an over dramatic 'thinking' face. “Y'know what? I'll think I'll keep it all to myself.”

“Oh, really~?” Grinned Hunter. “I can only imagine all the romantic schmaltzy sickening stuff that occurred tonight. Miscellaneous fluff, right?”

Judging by the blood that stained her cheekbones, he must have been correct.

“Hey, Hunter.” She said quietly, resting her weight against his side. “You've been lost in your books for hours now. Would you mind telling me all about the most interesting you read about today? Reading myself is fine but it's way better to hear all about it from a bona fide nerd.”

Frankly, it was embarrassing how fast the giddiness practically electrocuted him and suddenly he found himself rambling. He rambled until his voice gave up but it didn't bother him at all because it was just Luz.

Luz hung on every word he said.

[ibis-gt]

i made a fairytale au for cam and luther and then wrote nearly 5k words of fic for it?? which is wild bc i am not much of a writer. but. that’s under the cut. content warning for a pretty violent scene towards the end but there’s a happy ending i prommy

Once upon a time, there lived a prince. This prince, Luther by name, lived in a kingdom that was plagued by monsters. His father, the king, had gained his throne by feats of heroism, most notably by slaying a fearsome dragon that had ruled the land for years. The time came for Luther to prove he was worthy of the title of prince by slaying a monster of his own… 

Down in the countryside, farmers have been complaining for weeks of an ogre stealing their cattle and frightening their children. So Luther sets off in a splendid suit of armor, with a sword sheathed on one hip, a quiver of arrows on the other, and his bow slung on his back.

Luther rides his horse down to the village where the ogre was last spotted. He talks with the locals and gets a description of the creature. At least forty feet tall, they say, with greenish-grey skin and dark hair and teeth the length of a man’s forearm. Luther leaves his horse behind with the farmers because he doesn’t want her getting hurt and marches off, following a set of giant footprints left behind by the ogre, sword in hand. He would have to admit that he isn’t the best at sword fighting, and that really he’s never faced a monster on his own. But his father gave him a crucial tip: every monster has a weak point. Find the weak point, exploit it, and you’ll win every time. 

The footprints lead through the plains of grass, past the area where the farmers let their cattle out to graze, and into a dark forest. The sun is going down before he manages to find the ogre, so he sets up a little camp with a little fire and rests his tired bones. His armor isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but it takes forever to get on and off even with someone helping him, let alone by himself. He sits with his back to a big boulder so nothing can sneak up behind him and eventually drifts off.

Luther awakens the next morning and groans at how stiff and sore he is. He sits up and pauses, brow furrowed, remembering that he’d gone to bed sitting upright. But just now, he’d been lying on his back. And he’s not the best tracker, but those giant footprints look… disconcertingly fresh. These things add up in his mind. He just about passes out. He crouches down and puts his head between his knees for a moment until he can breathe again and his heart stops pounding quite so hard. He was right next to it! He fell asleep leaning on it! If his father heard about this he’d give him such a beating. How could he not have noticed that the boulder was actually - 

His stomach rumbles, interrupting his panicked thoughts, and Luther remembers that the last time he ate was back in that farming village around two in the afternoon yesterday. He digs out a bit of beef jerky and morosely works at it. His father swears by the stuff, but it just makes his teeth hurt. Luther dreams of the kitchens back home and drools a little.

He gives up on the jerky and manages to take down a couple squirrels with his bow and arrows. He gets his fire blazing again and sets them cooking over it, and sits down to draw in the dirt and form a battle plan. He gets wrapped up in his drawing and loses track of time, but is startled violently back to reality as a deep booming voice from behind him says, “Your squirrel’s burning.”

Luther’s eyes snap up to the fire. He hastily pulls the stick with his squirrels off of it, waving it in the air to put out the bit of squirrel that had caught fire. He blows on it and inspects the damage. Not too bad, a little charred. Still definitely edible. Then realization dawns, and he slowly looks up and over his shoulder.

That’s the ogre. He’s unmistakable. Huge, greyish-green, with shaggy black hair and big tusks that jut out of his mouth. He’s down on one knee looming over Luther, modesty barely preserved by a loincloth stitched together out of the pelts of many different furry animals. Luther wills himself to not faint for the second time that day. 

“You gonna eat that?” The ogre booms. “’Cause I will if you won’t.”

“W-well, yes, I was planning to,” Luther quavers, “But there are two, so, um, you can have one if you want? We can share?”

He takes the non-burned squirrel off the stick and holds it up. His hand only shakes a little. The ogre takes it carefully between thumb and forefinger and tosses it in his mouth. With such a tiny morsel, he’d usually just swallow it whole, but an interesting flavor makes him stop and savor it for a moment. 

“What’d you do to it? Not like any squirrel I’ve eaten. And I’ve eaten a whole army of squirrels.” He slaps a hand on his formidable belly. The sound makes Luther jump. 

“I- I didn’t do much, j-just some seasoning, I-I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to, please don’t eat me next." 

"You?” The ogre laughs. “Why would I eat you? You shared your food with me. That’s mighty polite. I’d say that makes us friends now, and I don’t eat friends.” He grunts as he shifts position, sitting down heavily and stretching out his legs. “Bad knees,” he grumbles. “Sat like that too long, but I wanted to see what you were drawing." 

Luther is now horrifically aware that he is directly between the ogre’s legs. He is also horrifically aware that he was drawing himself hitting an ogre with a sword. He hurriedly kicks some dirt over it. 

"Nothing. Nothing interesting. I’m a bad artist anyway.”

“Sure. What’s your name, little tin man? You didn’t seem too talkative when you snuggled up to me last night, but I thought maybe you were just tired. I’m Cam." 

"L-Luther.” Oh god. He was supposed to kill this thing, it - well, no, not ‘it’, he can’t think of Cam as an ‘it’ now he knows his name - he’s terrorizing folks, stealing their livelihoods, he’s supposed to drive him away, save the day, bring peace to the kingdom. Instead he’s sharing his meager breakfast and making friends with the monster. How did it all go so wrong!!

“So, Luther, you made of metal? I thought you were gonna take all that off, looks pretty uncomfortable, but you wore it all night. Unless it’s like… you?" 

"No, no, um, it’s just… it takes a long time to put it on and take it off? And I usually need help.”

 "Well shoot, friend, why didn’t you say so?“ Before Luther can object, a giant hand descends and plucks him up. He panics, struggles in Cam’s grasp, and Cam tsks at him. "I can’t get all that off you if you don’t hold still. Don’t make me squeeze." 

Luther goes still. If Cam squeezes the armor, it’ll stay squeezed. He wouldn’t want to still be in it if that happens. Cam clearly has no idea how to get someone out of armor though. He just pulls at clasps and buckles till they break, then shucks the metal off of Luther like an ear of corn. His helmet comes off first, freeing his dark brown curls.

“Aww,” Cam says, “lookit you. You’re kinda cute for a tin man.” He musses up Luther’s hair with a fingertip. "You’re like a little crab,” Cam chuckles. “Crack open the hard shell to get to the soft stuff underneath.” The food metaphor does not put Luther any more at ease as the rest of his armor is pulled off and tossed aside, piece by piece. Cam even strips the chainmail off of him and dumps it on the ground. This leaves Luther in his shirt and breeches, shaking like a leaf and terrified for his life. 

“Oh, you cold? Here, I gotcha.” Cam sandwiches him between his hands. Luther awaits the pressure and the horrible crunch that will no doubt be the end of his short life, but it never comes. Cam just holds him there, and truth be told his hands are very warm, and it had been a chilly morning. Luther relaxes very slightly.

After a few minutes, Cam lifts one hand a little and peeks at Luther. “Better?" 

"Much better, thank you. Even a little too warm, actually? Can I, um, come out now?" 

Cam laughs and opens his hands like a book, then tilts them so Luther tumbles into the palm of his left hand. "So what’s a fancy little shrimp like you doing all the way out here, with that tough shell and those sharp weapons? You huntin’ something?" 

Luther hesitates. It’s not… technically a lie, just an omission of truth, right? "Yeees…. Hunting.”

Cam laughs out loud, leaning back and slapping his knee with his free hand. “HA! You are just about the worst liar I ever met, Luther. Whew.” He actually wipes a tear from his eye. Luther feels his face heating up with anger and embarrassment.

“I am hunting! I’m hunting you!” As soon as he says it he regrets it. He slaps his hands over his mouth and cowers back as Cam sits up straight again and looks down at him, raising an eyebrow. 

“That so? Huh. Well, you found me, oh mighty hunter. And you fed me, and let me take your armor off you, and left all your sharp things on the ground while you sit in the palm of my hand. So, uh… how’s that goin’ for ya?”

“It… I… um… please don’t kill me?”

Cam grins. It’s not a nice grin anymore. It shows off too many teeth. “Lotsa folks have hunted me, you know. Not a one has succeeded. Most of ‘em can’t find me in the first place, not unless I want them to. Neat little trick we ogres have. We blend in well. The ones who did find me, they regretted it pretty quick. When I heard you clanking along with your silly armor and your little sword, I thought oh boy, here comes another one. But it turns out this one couldn’t find his own ass with both hands and a map, so he ain’t one of them legendary monster hunters lookin’ to claim some bounty. And he’s a little scrawny slip of a thing, too, and he keeps stopping to look at birds. I kinda liked you. And honestly, when you found me, it took me by surprise. Thought I had you pegged all wrong. Then you made your little fire, curled up next to me, and went to sleep, and it took everything I had not to bust my gut laughing right then and there. And now… well, I don’t rightly know what to make of you. Cute little thing, I know that. But cute won’t save you if you wanna tussle with me. So, little hunter… what’re you gonna do now?”

Luther’s nearly in tears. He manages to say, “Then… were you just… toying with me? This whole time? Waiting to see what I’d do?" 

Cam shrugs. "Pretty much.” That does it. The waterworks are in full swing. Luther’s chin trembles, his lower lip wobbles, and then tears are streaming down his face and he’s sobbing. 

“Y- you’re s-so-ho meeeaaaan,” Luther wails. “Y-you’re j-just making f-fun of me, I thought w-we were friends!” 

Cam has absolutely no idea how to respond to this. For some reason he actually feels guilty. “Aw - no - now look, there’s no call for - just… just stop crying, okay? Please?” Luther continues to sob, heedless of Cam’s pleading. “There, there,” Cam tries, patting Luther’s head. “I’m not going to kill you. Okay? How’s that? I’m sorry I called you - well. All those things. I’m sure you’re a great hunter. Look, you got those squirrels. And hey! That one I ate tasted great. You got some real skill there." 

Luther wipes his eyes and looks up, teetering dangerously on the edge of another sobbing fit. His eyes are all watery and a little red-rimmed. "R-really?" 

"Yes! Of course!” Cam clings to the compliment like a life preserver. “I bet you’re like, like the king’s cook or something, right? Cause you’re the best in the land?" 

Luther’s face crumples a little and he looks down, mutters something. 

"What?” Cam holds him up a little closer to his ear. 

“’m his son,” Luther mumbles again. 

“His son? You’re a prince? And you’re all - oh, hell.” Now he’s really put his foot in it. Luther bursts into tears again and curls up in a little ball.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I - oh, ugh, you’re getting my hand all wet.” Cam picks him up between thumb and forefinger and shakes the little tear droplets off his palm. “Now look here,” he says, attempting a sterner approach. “You’re a prince, all right? You can’t be crying and going to pieces just ‘cause some big bad monster was mean to you. You gotta kill big bad monsters, right? So here’s what you’re gonna do.” Cam sets him down gently, picks up his sword and hands it to him. “There you go. You’re gonna take that sword, right, and you’re gonna really let me have it. That’ll make you feel better, won’t it?“ 

Luther purses his lips and looks up at him. "But… all I can hit from here is your foot. That’s no good. I need a shot at something vital." 

"Oh fine, fine, Mr. Picky,” Cam grumbles. He shuffles his legs to the side and leans down til he’s practically laying on his belly. “Face shot. Free one for ya. Go on, hit something good.” Luther considers. Just as Cam realizes how ridiculous this whole thing is, he draws his sword back and plunges it into Cam’s eye.

- Almost plunges it into Cam’s eye. The ogre moves suddenly, turning his head to the side to avoid the blow. Luther makes a deep gash in Cam’s cheek, and Cam roars. “Oh, you sly little shit. Very good, very sneaky. You almost had me there. Fine. We do this the hard way.”

He gets to his feet, draws himself up to his full, impressive height, and looks down at the dirt where Luther was a moment ago. Cam blinks in surprise. “Where’d you… goddammit…” He looks around, trying to catch a glimpse of where Luther could’ve gotten to. 

Luther was not about to let the golden opportunity to run and hide during a big dramatic show of power go to waste. He slides into a patch of underbrush, catches his breath, and takes stock. He has no armor, no food, no bow or arrows. Those are all back at his camp, which is currently ogre territory. He has one sword that he’s okay at using. The ogre has the homefield advantage, and some kind of ability, possibly magical, to hide himself from those who want to find him. Luther shouldn’t let him out of his sight. But he should work on camouflaging himself. He takes a handful of dirt and smears it on his face and shirt. The sword he can’t do much about, he’ll just have to try and keep it from glinting. He glances to his left, away from where Cam still stands, turning in circles and peering around. Luther had only gone a little ways into the woods before he stopped for camp last night. He can almost see the forest’s edge from here. He could dart for the grasslands and try to make it back to the village, but he’d be in plain sight as soon as he’s out of the trees and there’s no guarantee Cam won’t just follow him all the way back. The further he goes into the trees the more firmly he is in Cam’s territory, but the more coverage he has. 

Possibilities begin swirling around in his head. His best bet is trickery rather than a face to face confrontation. He’s got a running list in his mind of Cam’s weak points now. Food, monologuing, emotional outbursts. Although that last one’s probably off the table now. Bursting into tears isn’t going to get him out of a second pinch. Bad knees - if he can trip Cam up, he can get a shot at his face again, maybe cut his throat or get at his soft belly and sides. Cam’s a talker and likes to gloat, maybe if he gets him distracted by looking pathetic he could get him to walk right into a trap of some kind. He likes food… but Luther doesn’t have the resources to make a big feast to distract him or sate him, just a pouchful of seasoning that he never leaves home without. His lip wobbles again as he thinks about how that’s back at his camp… he may never see his precious seasonings again.

Meanwhile, Cam is getting frustrated. “Well, the little shit can’t have gone far,” he grumbles. “Just gotta flush 'im out.” Luther watches, petrified, as Cam lumbers over to a nearby patch of underbrush and without warning stomps down on it hard, twisting his foot and smashing every inch of it. He steps back and leans down to inspect what’s left. Luther bites his lip hard to stifle a whimper. 

“Nope, not there,” Cam announces. “Eeney, meeney, miney…..” Another bunch of bushes are mercilessly ground into the dirt. “Moe. Hmmm. Where are you?”

Luther can’t stay in his hiding place for long. It’s only a matter of time before Cam gets to him. He needs an opening to make a break for it though, if he runs now Cam will spot him right away. As slowly as he dares, he picks up a large, flat rock, then skims it like a frisbee off to his right, where it hits a tree with a satisfying thock. Cam whirls around, and Luther bolts out of the brush. Cam hears the leaves rustling and turns back around, catching sight of him as he flees. 

“There you are! Hold on now, don’t go running off! I just wanna talk, I swear. The whole monster-slaying prince thing not working out for ya? I got a better job offer! You can be my dinner!” Luther keeps sprinting as fast as he can, not even bothering to glance behind him. The last thing he needs is to miss a fallen branch or a groundhog hole and trip.

On flat, open land, the ogre would outpace him easily. But if he can get deeper into the forest where the trees are closer together, that could slow him down enough for Luther to get some distance and hide again, have a moment to breathe and think so he can work on his plan. He’s starting to get an idea of what he’ll need. He needs the element of surprise for sure, and he needs more than just his sword. If he had some rope he could set up a tripwire, maybe. He curses himself for not taking his father’s advice about packing, for letting Cam strip him, for being too weak and scared to do anything when he had the chance, for being born in the first place. His eyes well up with tears and he scrubs at them furiously. He can’t afford to have his sight blurred right now, he needs to keep his head clear and keep moving. He can hear Cam’s thudding footsteps behind him, gaining quickly. He can cover so much more ground in a single step. It’s simply not fair. The little bit of distance he was able to gain with his rock trick is disappearing fast and it won’t be long before he’s in arm’s reach.

Almost as if he can read his thoughts, Cam lunges forward and takes a swipe at him, trying to knock him off his feet. Luther hits the deck and Cam overbalances, stumbling and crashing into a tree. The tree snaps when his weight collides with it, and Cam has to windmill his arms to keep from falling over. Luther scrambles to his feet and keeps running. He even manages to put on an extra burst of speed when he hears Cam roar with frustration behind him. He’s not as fast as he could be because he’s lugging the sword along with him, but he doesn’t dare drop it. It proves its usefulness in the next minute. Cam closes the distance and grabs for him. Luther sees the shadow fall over him and whirls around, lashing out at the reaching hand. He slices across Cam’s palm, and Cam howls with pain and pulls back. Luther dashes away, and Cam stomps his foot in frustration. 

"Hold still, dammit! You’re just making it worse for yourself!” He takes off after Luther again, but his stamina’s flagging. It’s harder for a creature his size to haul himself around and he’s used to running down his prey in the first minutes of the chase. This has dragged on long enough to tire him out, but he’s not willing to give up just yet. “When I get my hands on you, tin man, you’re paste,” he growls. “They’re gonna have to come up with new words for how dead you’re gonna be.”

The trees start getting close enough together that Luther has to dodge around them from time to time. He can hear Cam behind him crashing through them, spluttering as he gets a face full of branches and leaves. Luther smiles to himself. That’s nice, at least. At last he gathers up his nerve and dodges to the side behind a particularly large tree, hoping that Cam’s too busy navigating the foliage to notice. His gamble pays off. A few seconds later, the ogre goes lumbering past him without so much as a sideways glance. Luther waits just a moment more, then bolts in the opposite direction.

He’s got a plan now. He probably won’t be able to find Cam again, but Cam can find him. So he’ll set up an ambush. He circles back around to his camp and grabs his supplies as quickly as he can, his bow and arrow, his helmet, his tinderbox, and most importantly, his seasoning. He hunts for deer, takes down a decent-sized buck, and sets up a new campfire, deep in the woods, where the trees are close. He’s hoping that Cam will think that Luther thinks he’s safe in there, and that the smell of the meat cooking will lure Cam in. He takes off his shirt and fills it with twigs and leaves, sets his helmet up on a stick driven into the ground, and makes a decently convincing decoy Luther that he leans against a log. The helmet tilts at an angle that makes it look like he’s fallen asleep. With that set up, and night closing in, Luther climbs up a nearby tree and waits, sword in hand.

He doesn’t watch the fire. He wants to keep his night vision sharp. And sure enough, before too long here comes Cam, moving surprisingly quietly for his size. He squeezes through the trees with barely a rustling of leaves. Cam’s eyes are fixed on the fire and the silhouette that the decoy makes against it. Cam gets right behind the decoy and slams his foot down on it. He grinds it into the dirt with a relish that makes Luther shudder. Then Cam looks at the deer cooking with that lovely smell rising off it, and his eyes go big and shiny. As Cam bends down to pick it up, Luther chooses his moment. He drops like a stone and buries his sword lengthwise in the back of Cam’s neck. The impact sends a jolt up his arms and he hangs on as tight as he can. Cam lets out a garbled scream of pain and collapses face first on the ground. Luther gets to his feet, pulls his sword out with some difficulty, takes a deep breath, and begins to chop.

It’s messy, horrible work. By the third swing tears are rolling down Luther’s cheeks. By the seventh, he’s sobbing. After the twenty-third cut, Cam’s head is finally severed, and rolls to the side. Luther stumbles back. He’s trembling, covered in blood, panting and crying, but it’s finally done. 

And then Cam’s head says, “Wow, kid. I didn’t think you had it in you.” Luther watches, dumbfounded, as Cam’s body sits up, searches around with its hands, locates his head, and puts it back on his shoulders as the flesh knits together again. Luther drops his sword in disbelief. He falls to his knees. That was it. That was all he had. He can’t even imagine what he could do against a foe who can just reattach his own head. 

“Oh,” he says quietly. “Okay. Um. Make it quick, please?” Cam had been planning to crunch the little shit once he was back on his feet, but he can’t help but feel a pang of guilt at how despondent Luther looks.

“Aw, no, no, don’t give up so quick! Really, you almost had me!” Cam scoops him up and pats him on the head. “Look, it was a good effort. I’m sure if you had known I can’t be killed, you wouldn’t have spent all that time and energy trying to kill me. Just do a little more research next time, yeah?" 

"Next time,” Luther repeats, and gives a hollow laugh. “There isn’t going to be a next time. I’m not welcome as part of the royal family if I can’t kill a monster. Even my sister’s done her first slaying already. A whole nest of vampires! And I can’t kill one measly ogre." 

"Hey, watch who you’re calling measly,” Cam warns, but his heart isn’t in it. “Jeez. You’ve got some issues, kid. Not much of a fighter, I take it?" 

Luther shakes his head and sighs. "I’m just not very good at it." 

"Well they chose one hell of a first mission for you, that’s for sure. Ogres are tricky ones. We’ve got a lot of defense mechanisms.” Cam thinks for a moment. “You know what you are good at, though? You’re a good talker. Very convincing. I mean, you really had me going, with the crying and all? It was a really good ruse." 

Luther bites his lip. "Um…" 

"Okay, so it was for real and not a ruse. But you made the best of a bad situation! That’s also a good skill for a ruler to have. You just gotta show your family that your skills are less conventional, but still effective! Like, okay, why do you have to kill me? What’d I do?" 

“You’re eating all the farmers’ cattle and scaring people." 

"I thought free range meant I had free reign. Eh? Eh?” Cam pokes Luther in the ribs. Luther frowns at him. “Oh, fine, whatever. No sense of humor. You know, that’s pretty important for a king too. Yeah, all right, I’ll leave the cows alone." 

"And the sheep,” Luther says sharply. “And the pigs, and chickens." 

"I haven’t eaten any pigs or chickens,” Cam protests. 

“Not yet. I’m being proactive." 

"There you go!” Cam says, beaming. “There’s that negotiator skill! But seriously, if I can’t eat the cows and sheep I’ve got to eat something. Can you make it worth my while? 'Cause I’m not going back to squirrels." 

"Well…” Luther says slowly. “What if… I hire you?" 

"You… hire me?" 

"Yeah. Like, as a bodyguard or something. Then I’d have to pay you, right? I could pay you in food?” 

Cam is quiet for a moment. He brings Luther up closer to his face and scrutinizes him. Luther’s heart is pounding out of his chest. For a moment he thinks he’s made some horrible mistake and offended Cam and it’s all over for him. "You’re serious? Not kidding me, here? That’s your offer?”

“Y-yes? Is that… is it bad?" 

"Bad? Bad? That’s the best offer I’ve ever heard! Pay me in food? HELL yes, kid! That’s what I like to hear!” The force of Cam’s enthusiasm knocks Luther over on his back. He stares at the sky for a moment. His life is so goddamn weird.

~~~~~~~~~

Luther’s father’s dragon slaying days are behind him. He’s an old man now. He has good days and bad days, but even on his best days he frequently needs help getting around. But when he sees that giant ogre enter his royal halls, he reaches for his spear. Luther eases it out of his hand. 

“No, see, it’s okay. I didn’t kill him, but I stopped him terrorizing the countryside, and I kind of… hired him. As my bodyguard. This was easier, and we both benefit, see? Also, um, were you going to tell me ogres are immortal?" 

"You were supposed to figure something out,” his father says. “Since you’re so damned smart." 

"Well, I did figure something out. Just… maybe not what you wanted me to." 

Cam waves lazily. "Hi, Yer Majesty." 

"Cam,” Luther hisses. “We talked about this." 

"Oh, fine, fine,” Cam grumbles, and takes a knee to bow low before the king. “I humbly pledge my service to your son,” he intones, hamming it up just a little. “Please allow me to protect him from all harms, and so on." 

The king glares. His stabbing hand is itching. But he doesn’t currently have a better plan, and this’ll keep the peasants quiet for a bit. "Fine,” he spits, “But you’re taking care of him. Feeding him, walking him, cleaning up after him, whatever. No getting the servants to do it for you. He’s your responsibility now." 

Cam grins at Luther. "So, speaking of feeding… when’s dinner?”

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

JONAH’S EVER AFTER ON IKEREV TW

I CAN’T I--

HIS RELEASE CAMPAIGN CAME OUT YESTERDAY BUT I ONLY SAW IT A FEW MINUTES AGO BC I WAS ON VACATION I CAN’T BELIEVE I MISSED THIS WHAT KIND OF JONAH STAN AM I

THIS MEANS THAT JONAH’S ROUTE CAMPAIGN WILL BEGIN SOMEWHERE AROUND LATE OCTOBER OR EARLY NOVEMBER IN THE ENGLISH VERSION SO MARK YOUR CALENDARS

I’m putting the rest of this under a cut for length bc I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY

[Translation:

“On the 1 in a hundred million chance that I cannot marry you into the Clemence family, then I’m prepared to abandon my family.”

Whether it’s to build a family together, or to receive happiness together. For the one you love, the path you should take to the future is...

“You’re really too much. Don’t say something like...I’m sorry.”

The eyes that are brighter than the fireworks in the sky overflow with tears, and turn into strength to overcome the mirror blocking our path.

“When it’s only the two of us, I’m just Jonah...and I want to spoil you as much as I like.”]

ASDFKJWEIH;KAFJJE;LSAKFSD

I CAN ALREADY SENSE THE ABSOLUTE ANGST IN THIS ROUTE

IN HIS ORIGINAL ROUTE HE HAS TO ABANDON THE RED ARMY AND NOW IN HIS EVER AFTER HE HAS TO ABANDON HIS FAMILY TOO????? ESPECIALLY AS WE ALL KNOW HOW MUCH THE CRIMSON LINEAGE MEANS TO HIM??????????????????

And something I also really like is how the themes from the original route extends into his sequel, like the parts about “never apologizing” and “I can only be myself when I’m with you.” It just makes it feel more like a sequel and adds a better sense of completion uwu

ALSO JONAH’S TEARS ARE GOING TO DESTROY ME Y’ALL WILL SEE ME SOBBING ON TUMBLR WHEN I GET TO THAT PART

.

Here’s the mini talk list:

Luka + Sirius: please tell me about your families!

This one is already out, so here’s the screenshots!

[Translation:

Sirius: My home is always full of flowers, it’s a place that makes your mood lift.

Luka: Yeah...as opposed to Sirius’s family, mine was very quiet.

Luka: Even though it had always been pretty quiet...but ever since “that person” left home, it became even quieter.

Luka: Maybe it was because my family weren’t interested in me, so that’s why it feels so quiet.

Sirius: Haven’t you ever had experiences of playing noisily with Jonah in your home before?

Luka: No. We’re different from Sirius’s family...but there was only one time.

Luka: When I was young, that person had brought me out secretly before.

Luka: The both of us ran around and played in the secret courtyard that person found...

Luka: Until the skies grew dark.

Sirius: ...Is that so. Where is that courtyard full of memories? Is it close to your home?

Luka: I don’t know, I can’t remember...but, it doesn’t matter if I can’t remember it.

Luka: Now I think...it’s alright if that courtyard only exists in my memory.]

*deep breath*

ALKL;KCVKNCKDSA;KWOIWQOIK;FDMX;LZDS;ALKSJFA;LKJ

AKD;XJCEWQ8RJEIU;ANFVDFJSVVF’WDOIJ

;NWEFFKKGDMZXCKCERTIIUIBRI;JDSFJSMF;JLAEKF;LEQKJBNCM

FIRST OF ALL

A SECRET COURYARD???????? THAT JONAH FOUND?????????????? AND BROUGHT LUKA THERE TO PLAY???????????????????????? BUT ONLY ONCE???????????????????????????????????

I wonder how he managed to find it? But also it was to be expected that he would bring Luka bc he always wants to share what he loves with Luka (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Also just imagine the little Clemence bros running around and playing (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ ♡ ♡

But like...

OH MY GOD LUKA WHAT HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

It’s so sadddddddd to think that the Clemence house got even quieter when Jonah left. Also I can’t figure out if Jonah “leaving” means that he left to go to boarding school or if he left to join the Red Army, but that was probably when Luka started to hate Jonah for abandoning him. I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up in such a quiet and cold place and to have it grow even quieter and colder when the one person you thought cared about you left because now he has other things that are more important than you (/□＼*)・゜

Edgar + Kyle: can love between people of different social statuses exist?

The rest of these aren’t released at the moment I wrote this, so I’m mainly just going to be addressing my predictions!

So it’s clear that Jonah and MC are considered to be from different social ranks, even though MC is “Alice the Second” and has the power to nullify magic. She’s probably considered as a “commoner” in the Red Territory, so I can see why it would be difficult for Jonah and MC to get married.

And you know what else this reminds me of??? If we look at Seth’s route, we finally find out that the whole reason Cradle got divided into two was because a Red noble fell in love with a girl from a different social rank. And that romance tore a country apart, so.

Dean + Dalim: about family

Aight here we go. Are Dean and Dalim really family??? Do we finally get to find out??? Or at least get some sort of clue??? Bc I’m torn between the theory that they’re twins with amnesia or if Dean was some sort of clone created by the Magic Tower when they experimented on Dalim. And I have no idea when their routes are gonna be released, so I really hope we get more hints throughout each Ever After route.

Lancelot: Jonah’s tears

THIS IS THE SECOND MINI TALK THAT WILL DESTROY ME AFTER THE LUKA + SIRIUS ONE.

Also this is a reminder that Lancelot was probably the only one who has seen Jonah at his weakest before MC came along. It’s probably to be expected, since they’ve known each other for literally more than half their lives and also since Lancelot saved Jonah.

And technically Luka has known Jonah for the longest time, but I doubt that Jonah will ever show weakness in front of Luka because he considers himself as Luka’s protector, but it’s different in front of Lance. I feel like he can show his weaker side to Lance, and it just emphasizes how deep the relationship between them is.

SO GET READY FOR THE JONALOT FEELS WHEN THIS ONE COMES OUT.

Jonah: what is your ideal proposal?

OK I feel like this one is either gonna be super romantic or super cheesy. Or both, considering the type of person that Jonah is. But I’m gonna love it no matter what bc 1) Jonah can make even the most embarrassing situations funny and touching and 2) I’m too weak for my mille-feuille boi.

.

The screenshots for the “Peek at Romance” thing is here:

[Translation:

My dear Queen of Hearts, Jonah Clemence.

Jonah: In that party, every heir of the Clemence family will...

Jonah: Publicly introduce his fiancee, receive the acknowledgment and blessing of the whole clan, and finally step into the halls of marriage.

“What is a happy ending?”

--It’s when, the person who cannot be replaced becomes family.

Luka: Even though my brother is troublesome, and sometimes overly enthusiastic, but from now on please take care of him.

--It’s when, you become allies with the person you met.

Levie: Who hurt MC!? I’ll destroy that guy...!

Jonah: Calm down, Levie Castell. See who’s your true enemy clearly!

When he couldn’t provide an answer, it made tears overflow from his eyes.

And--while looking for an answer, it’s also possible to lose something.

Dalim: Thanks. Goodbye, princess.

Dean: I couldn’t ask any of the things I’ve been wondering before he ran...

But even so, we will still advance forward bravely.

This is all to receive the answer--to have a happy ending.

Jonah: From now on, everyone will see you as...

Jonah: The Queen of Heart’s...and also the head of the Clemence family’s wife.

Jonah: But, when there’s no one else, and when it’s just us two.

Jonah: We’ll become Jonah and MC again, and we can love each other as much as we like.

Jonah: I love you, MC.

No matter what happens, he, who is the most beautiful and pure in the world...

Will only accept a future that is even better than a happy ending...!]

I just...literally cannot express my love for this summary.

First of all I’m just gonna talk about the tone. Right off the bat MC calls him “my dear Queen” and it was just. So. CUUUUUUUUUUTE.

Also, the question and theme of “a happy ending” is brought up, and the rest of the sneak peek answers that question (it’s when the people you love become your family and the people you meet becomes your allies), but also explores how they could find those answers (Jonah crying when he couldn’t find an answer and advancing forward bravely because they just want their happy ending). And finally we finish it off with a super Jonah-like statement, announcing that he’ll accept no less than the most perfect ending of them all!

Moving on to the information revealed...it’s pretty cool how there’s a special party for the next head of the Clemence family when they’re ready to announce their marriage and gain approval. Also, it’s kinda wild to think that Jonah will eventually become a head of the family just like his father and his grandfather before that.

AND THE PART WITH LUKA AND LEVIE ARE LITERALLY SO ADORABLE. LIKE, LUKA INSULTING JONAH BUT ALSO LEAVING HIM TO MC AND LEVIE DEFENDING MC FROM PPL WHO WOULD HARM HER IS 10/10 PERFECT

Also it seems that Dean and Dalim’s backstories might be explored more but won’t be resolved just yet. I guess we really do have to wait until their routes get released to find out.

In short, this was an amazing summary of the route. WHY DO I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER MONTH UNTIL I CAN FINALLY READ THE WHOLE THING???????????????????????????

.

Also FYI, this is all completely new to me. For the other characters’ sequels, I played it through on Ikerev JP bc I can’t wait until the releases in the TW and English version that’s like, a year later. But I didn’t read Jonah’s sequel bc my Japanese isn’t super good and I wanted to read my man’s story in a language that I can completely understand so I literally have no idea of what to expect apart from what I found out in the campaign release :3

Also also I’m probably gonna be posting for every part in the story I’m going through BC I JUST LOVE JONAH THAT MUCH. I guess it would make up for my inactivity this month ^^;

[writingeverynowand-then]

Christian girl II.

Okay so i decided on the name for our gal here in this story to be ‘Grace’ kind of religious kinda cute ;) , truthfully I saw this in my drafts and was like ‘omg this is hoottt’ and I am very aware that i wrote the first part of this story years ago, so i might be out of touch with the initial chapter, still i hope you guys enjoy <3

She woke up to the feeling of fingers playing softly with her hair, she opened her eyes not believing she’d fallen asleep, her breathing increased once her eyes landed on him. The cripple Viking that had touched her inappropiately. 

“I wanted to see you before we leave” He announced, she frowned, looking for answers in his deep eyes.

“We are leaving?” She questioned seeing as was only looking at her body, lusting after it.

Her heartbeat increased and her blood got warm, he produced all of this with just one look.

“Yes” His lips found their way to her earlobe just like yesterday, kissing it, his tongue appearing every now and then, his way of making her sin made her loose her mind.

She wanted to hold him closer but was too afraid to do so, she was relieved when his other hand held her by her thigh, strongly and close to her center, the moan that escaped her mouth was glory to his ears.

He liked her sounds.

He had ordered to get her hands and feet untied. Someone had brought food and water to keep her alive, for he inteded to have his way with her.

Make sure she would think about him for the rest of her life still unable to speak about the sinful things he did to her body.

He made his way down her neck, licking it, biting it, being completely messy, wanting to consume everything pure out of her, leave his mark everywhere. She moaned and with courage, put her hands on Ivars nape, bringing him closer, his hand started to slowly rub her clothed pussy, immediately she started to grind on his hand, empty for his touch, that made his erection grow harder.

“uh..Iv, Ivar” She started to moan once his mouth found it’s way to its favorite place, her breasts, he was wildly licking her right nipple, holding her on top of him by the waist with one hand, and the other still touching her as if there were no layers between them.

She was so lost in his touch, how could something so delicious, so natural be a sin? She was ecstatic, if this meant being a sinner, then she wanted to be the biggest sinner there ever was.

Her clit was being teased with, Ivar knew exactly where to touch her to make her insides burn, her breathing was erratic, she was moaning and breathing in his ear, getting his dick to be completely hard, urging him to start fucking her like he had dreamed of.the night before.

“Off with the dress” He lowly ordered, and it got her even more wet. She bit her lip and nodded, her mind ruled by desire.

She got her dress out of the way and helped Ivar taking his trousers off. She was surprised to see the big bulge trying to get out of his undergarment, she  had never seen one before this close, she looked at Ivar who was staring at her, studying her every move.

“May I?” She innocently asked, Ivar had no idea what she would do but he nodded at a loss of words, he needed to penetrate her, to get her to moan uncontrollably like before. She soflty layed her hand on top of his dick, that alone did it to Ivar, her touch was so hot, slowly touching it from the beginning of it to the tip, making Ivar experience the slowest hand job he had ever gotten, it was driving him mad still it was very sensual.

For some reason he let her do it for a couple of times.

She was now taking his undergarment off, and he took control once more.

It caught Grace by surprise how strong his arms were, he got her on top of him, his dick resting on her back, he pulled her down by the neck and started to kiss her, starting to grind her, she started doing the same, lost in how sensual it was that he would bite her lower lip and then push his tongue down her mouth, conquering it.

He then lifted her up, and got his dick in her entrance, she stared at him biting her lip, and without anything else she felt him enter her, so big, so out of the blue, and hitting the right spot, she swore she saw heaven, he started to thrust and she met him everytime, he had found the perfect rhythm, and she was going crazy, he was hitting the spot of pleasure she had never found before, Ivar brought her close again to put his mouth in his favorite place, her breasts.

The noises were so obscene, wild, wet, licking, moans, and his grip on her was so tight she knew it would leave a bruise but she didn’t care.

Her body was made for this.

She kept riding him she felt a wave of pleasure coming over her, Ivar got off of the look in her face and thrusted even faster, trying to reach her orgasm, he bit her nipple once more as his orgasm took over his body, listening to her moans in his ear made the waves of pleasure come faster and he finished cumming inside of her.

---------

Later that day.

The Vikings were ready to leave this village, it wasn’t important to them, they took what they wanted and were ready to find somewhere else to raid.

The Christian girl was in Ivars tent, and as some of the vikings were picking things up to leave, they were ready to get her, to bring her to their homeland.

“Leave her”

“What? Prince Ivar?” She questioned surprised.

“You thought i cared for you?” He smirked, powerful yet not merciful like she had been tought people with power were, “You fool” With that he laughed and left Grace to fend herself.

Now the rest of the men were making fun of her, saying how unfortunate she was, surely there were more vikings coming in to raid her little village, and all they would find would be a dumb christian girl.

----------------------

A/N:

*no proof reading has ever been done in this blog

*I know i asked for request and then didn’t write them, i’m so sorry, i’ll get to them ;)

*I was reading draco malfoy fanfiction, yes even though i’m in my twenties i still wish i lived in hogwarts and did the dirty delicious naughty shit with draco baby, and because a lot of it (the fanfiction i mean) was written by 14 year olds it’s pretty shit (i’ve read my own stuff from ten years ago and it was shit too, also holy fuck i’m old, that is embarrasing) i decided to come back to write my own stuff, i saw this in my drafts and was like fuuuck i used to write hot shit, so here we are!

*hope y’all liked it, leave me some love and i’ll do this more often

*thank ya for reading, love you <3 <3

*hope you’re safe and healthy and so is everyone around you!

*also i have two exams tomorrow, and here i am writing porn bc i could not care less hehe

[babycharmander]

Yes I know the event ended yesterday but I didn't get to finish this yesterday and I wanted to post more because I can.

Okay so I doooon't think I can do a post about these using the templates I posted, since they're compilations, but still, I wanted to say SOMETHING about them.

I have two oneshot compilations--An Assortment of Broken Bones and Bone Shards. They're found in compilation form only on AO3, though the individual fics are also posted to my art/writing blog, @bcdrawsandwrites. (Yes, the first one WAS posted to FFN, but I didn't post one specific fic to it, so I recommend reading it on AO3 instead.)

An Assortment of Broken Bones is a collection I wrote for the Bad Things Happen Bingo challenge! For the heck of it, I let people pick prompts from the bingo card I got, and they could provide me with characters to use with the prompt, and a brief idea of how they wanted those things to be combined. The result was a REALLY fun (but challenging!) writing exercise where I got to write a BUNCH of oneshots that I would have never come up with otherwise. It took me over a year, but I DID complete the challenge and get a bingo! During that time I wrote 16 oneshots of varying themes with a lot of different characters. It... was mostly Héctor, of course, but not all of them were about him! So... here's a quick rundown of each oneshot:

Crisis Catch-And-Carry: Pre-movie, Héctor and Imelda (who, since this is pre-movie, is still very angry at Héctor) get attacked by a wild alebrije. (Sort of like the cut "alebrije attack" scene, but with Héctor and Imelda rather than Héctor and Miguel, and on a street instead of on a trolley).

Memory Loss: A very tragic AU in which, after Héctor survives being forgotten, he finds he has lost his memory. (Note that this is a oneshot and it only features one scene of this AU idea.)

Panic Attack: Post-movie, Miguel goes swimming with some friends... and suddenly finds himself experiencing flashbacks and panic attacks, and has some explaining to do to his parents...

Caught in a Storm: Pre-movie, Héctor takes Coco out to play around in the outskirts of Santa Cecilia, only to get caught in a terrible rainstorm.

Worked Themselves to Exhaustion: Pre-movie, Héctor's letters have stopped coming, and Imelda is trying to start a business all on her own. Being a single mother is never easy...

Setting a Broken Bone: Pre-movie, one of Héctor's bridge-crossing attempts (in fact, the one detailed in my "When to Quit" comic on my art blog) leaves him seriously injured, and he has to practically drag himself back to Shantytown so Cheech and some friends can help him.

Cold-Blooded Torture: A one-shot that takes place DURING the events of Neither Can You. It's an optional, very violent read that takes place immediately after chapter 3 of the fic. (Seriously my gosh do not read this if you can't handle torture/violence.)

Damaged Vocal Cords: Pre-movie, Imelda is sick and unable to talk, Héctor is trying to be helpful as he can, and Ernesto is a nuisance.

Common Cold: Several years post-movie, Héctor and Imelda get caught in a rainstorm and find that being dead doesn't keep you from getting sick.

Hiding an Injury: Pre-movie, Chicharrón notices that Héctor is strangely keeping his ribcage covered, and wonders just what he might be hiding.

Doesn't Realize They've Been Injured: Pre-epilogue, Victoria discovers Héctor's been hiding out in the Rivera workshop... after he falls off the rafters and crashes into a worktable.

Cry Into Chest: Post-Neither Can You, Héctor awakens one night to find Victoria standing outside, sheltered by alebrijes. He's not the only one who's been having nightmares after the nightmarish experience they both had.

Tooth Knocked Out: Pre-movie, a teenage Héctor is distracted by Imelda and proceeds to walk into a wall, knocking out a tooth. Hey, that golden tooth had to come from somewhere.

Mugging: Pre-movie, Héctor resorts to very, very desperate measures trying to cross the bridge, and forces himself to test the limits of his own morals--something he takes no pleasure in.

Outnumbered in a Fight: Pre-epilogue, Miguel joins Youtube only to find people praising Ernesto de la Cruz, and finds himself getting into the worst kind of fight... internet arguments.

Slammed into a Wall: Pre-movie, Héctor gets into trouble while traveling with Ernesto.

Aaand that's it for An Assortment of Broken Bones.

BUT WAIT--THERE'S MORE!

I also have Bone Shards, which is a collection of unpolished (mostly unbeta'd) oneshots. Here's the ones I have in this collection so far:

Broken Bone: Pre-movie, Héctor visits Chicharrón after a failed bridge-crossing attempt, and learns something about forgotten skeletons.

Loved One Killed: The scene from the movie where Ernesto throws Miguel off the cliff, from Héctor's perspective. (No, Miguel's not really dead, but Héctor doesn't know that.)

Forced to Watch: A slight universe alteration in which Miguel is thrown into the cenote before Héctor, who is forced to watch it happen.

Chorizo: Pre-movie, Héctor gets a nickname, and isn't particularly happy about it.

Midnight: Pre-movie, Pepita follows her alebrije instincts.

Morning: The moments immediately following Miguel's return to the Land of the Living, from Imelda's perspective.

Sharp: Pre-epilogue, Héctor considers his relationship with his new family.

Dance: A little oneshot covering the events that led up to Héctor and Imelda's brief scene in "A Day in the Life of the Dead."

Sooooo... there you go! Was kinda fun going over these fics again.

BTW, thank you to everyone who participated in the event! I was thrilled to see everyone promoting their stories as well as others' works! I'll make a post myself later recommending a few other people's fics. 

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Connections Between Nebraska, the CRM , and TWB

Morning Everyone! I wrote this last week and it jumps around a bit, referencing some old TWD episodes, a TWB episode, an a few other things. The biggest thing here is just making connections and showing that the symbolism is the same across all shows in the franchise. That all of them are connected. And that the writers are telling one, huge story, and have been since very early on.

So, while speaking with a follower last week, I ended up making some interesting connections. Nothing groundbreaking. Bit of a rabbit hole, but not too deep. ;D

But someone sent me something yesterday that said on the walking dead wiki page for the CRM, it says they’re based out of Omaha, NE. Now, they definitely talk about the Omaha location in TWB, but I didn’t remember it saying the CRM is actually based there. 

So I went and looked at the wiki page. What it says is that it’s part of the Alliance of the Three, and Omaha is one of their locations. The actual base of the CRM is still unknown.

But I started thinking about TWD 2x08, Nebraska, and decided to go back and watch that episode again. It’s honestly been years since I sat down and watched it beginning to end. I did, and I’ll come back to that in a minute.

(CRM Page HERE.)

A/B Theme

But further down on the page, it also defines the A and B symbolism. It says A = a strong leader who is spirited and willing to fight back. And B = someone who either can’t fight back or won’t.

But it also has a note under the A that says 1x04 of TWB confirmed that A also = Bitten. That seemed a little weird to me. I didn’t remember them confirming that for sure in the episode (we would have talked about it a LOT more). And Jadis called Rick a B, which suggests he’s not bitten. So I was like, Hmm. What’s this about?

Well, I went and rewatched 1x04. I really need only have watched the after-the-credits coda, since I’m fairly certain that’s where they’re getting this. (And of course let’s remember that anyone who is a member can update wiki pages; so this isn’t exactly a confirmation from tptb.)

In the coda, as you will remember, the woman is eating a sandwich and talking into a recorder about test subjects. All of them have an A before their numbers. And the camera pans over all of them, clearly showing bite marks. So, I’m thinking that’s where they’re getting that A = bite from. But to me, that’s not exhaustive evidence. I still think Rick was bitten, and I still think we don’t entirely understand the definition.

I COULD get behind there being two definitions going on here. One that they’ll acknowledge in the show as the actual way the CRM uses the numbers, and one that’s more symbolic that tptb will never confirm or deny. I mean, they did this with the A on Daryl’s shirt at the Sanctuary. And then there’s the A Sam had in 6a, and the A painted on FG’s church. Are we supposed to believe they’ll all be directly linked to the CRM in the show?

So, I’m wondering if the strong fighter vs weak fighter is how the CRM actually uses it. But symbolically, that’s where the bitten/not bitten comes in.

And you may ask, even if that’s the case, why would Jadis call Rick a B? I mean, he’s clearly one who will fight back.

But here’s the thing. When she had him prisoner in his blue skivvies in the yellow storage container, she wrote an A on the outside. So clearly, whatever it means to the CRM, she thinks he’s an A. And obviously he wasn’t bitten then. So either B does mean bitten, or else she’s just lying about him being a strong leader and fighter. Why would she do that?

I’m thinking about Grady. They saved Noah but left his father behind. And I’m thinking that given what we know of Noah’s weakness, his father was probably the stronger fighter. You could also argue that they saw Beth as weak and took her, but when they saw Daryl in their review mirror, they sped off. I think they only take vanilla people they believe they can control. So maybe Jadis said it because otherwise they wouldn’t have taken Rick, and she wanted to save his life. And because he was hurt and weak, his rebelliousness really wouldn’t have come across to the guys in the helicopter.

Boy are they in for a rude awakening!

So yeah, basically it confirmed nothing for me, lol. The symbolism is still clear as mud, no?

Nebraska

As for Nebraska, when I watched, I mostly saw more connections to what we’ve learned recently, about the CRM and the Great Britain theme (Revolutionary War) and such.

So, I wanted to specifically listen to what the guy says about Nebraska. I wondered if he could have ties to the CRM at all. I didn’t see any evidence of that, but there was still kind of an interesting hint. He was talking about how they’d met lots of people, who all had stories about where some community might still be functioning. And one of the things he said was that they met someone who was sending supplies via RAILWAY toward Omaha, NE. And that was it. They went on about Nebraska in a few other lines, so we’re clearly supposed to take note of it. 

But what we CAN now confirm via TWB is that one of three communities in the Alliance of Three is in Omaha. So, to me, this was definitely a very early, very subtle CRM clue.

(Clearly from the above pic, which is not mine, other people in the fandom are also putting these things together.)

I’ll give you one more small thing and then the part that gets kinda wild. His shark t-shirt. Um…Stafford Sharks, I think? And I know we’ve talked about this before in the sense of it being a water clue. But the Stafford Sharks thing is a real place that’s based out of the UK. Their website even ends in the “.co.uk” suffix. And of course there’s an 11 on the back of the shirt, which we’ve talked about for a long time and, as has recently been pointed out, MIGHT among other things point to S11.

So for me, we have the 11, a hint at the UK (Julia Ormond’s character is British and represents Cornwallis in the Revolutionary War template), and a subtle reference to where the CRM is, all in one person/conversation. And if this guy, at a broad level, represents the threat of the CRM, I think it’s important that Rick kills him. Yeah, Rick’s totally gonna knock the CRM on it’s butt by the end of the series. (Yay!)

But here’s the other thing I thought about. This episode is THE next episode after Sophia comes out of the barn.

Think about that. 1. Missing girl 2. Girl found 3. Hint at CRM    

Just saying.

TWB 1x04

As I said, I rewatched the entire episode and probably didn’t need to, but I was actually glad I did. If I had more time, I do rewatches of literally EVERYTHING right now. Unfortunately, that’s probably not going to happen just yet.

I didn’t nail down the TWB template until the final episode of season 1, so rewatching it, I’m just seeing things I didn’t pick up on before.

This was the episode where they went into the high school to get out of the rain, Silas and Iris dance in the auditorium, etc. And mostly I was focusing on the pairings. We picked up the idea of Iris and Silas being Bethyl proxies when we first watched it. That much was clear. But now that I know Felix = Daryl and Huck = Carol, I saw more.

They divide into 3 groups and what really jumped out at me is that in this scenario, Huck and Faith are together. If anything, because she goes into the CRM at the end, Faith = Beth, right? Which we talked about. So I was thinking about what I’ve said that Daryl and Carol will split up and Carol and Beth might have the first reunion, and kind of watching it through that lens. Nothing huge jumped out at him until…

…the wolf.

Remember the wolf that was building a nest and protecting it’s young and dragging walkers through the halls? I don’t even know how to interpret it in a forecasting way, but since TWD ep 21, where we saw Daryl fixing the bike and hear the wolf howl, it really jumped out at me. The idea that the wolf symbolism will return with Beth and be an important part of the story.

Beyond that, I think we MIGHT be able to take some clues about Daryl’s future arc from this little sequence with Felix and Elton, but nothing huge jumped out at me. So, I’ll probably have to go back again later, maybe during or after S11 as we learn more.

So yeah. As I said, very meandering thoughts and connections today.

Thoughts?

[hufflautia]

Hope you’ve had a great day today 💛

funnily enough, i literally just stopped crying. today was a bad day, I don't know 

why but my anxiety was just quite bad today and I was panicking before school started. something happened in my first class and I overthink a lot, so my mind was like, “oh my god why did they write your name last, do they hate me, am I boring, am I forgetful, people are always forgetting about me” and “my teacher doesn't like me, why didn't he respond, I'm embarrassed, why did you have to say what you said??” my English teacher does these “mindfulness” moments in which we sit in silence for a minute and reflect on the day, and I literally started crying. after the minute ended, I just stopped bc I didn't feel like crying anymore, and suddenly my brain said, “ur so fake, ur just acting, why did u stop crying all of a sudden, u just want attention u crave attention ur such a faker!!” also I keep thinking about something that happened years ago with my dad, I don't rlly wanna get into it but I think it would be good if I just say it so that its not jammed in my head. basically, I was really young, like in elementary school; my dad asked me if i wanted to sleep in his room with him, and originally, my mom was sleeping with him and i shared a room with my little brother. however, i was like hmm maybe, and then my dad said, haha ill pay u 5 dollars. at the time, i said YAY OK but now i realized that's so fucking creepy, yall know what its insinuating right?? anyways, i said ok, bc it was just a change from the usual sleep schedule and i liked spending time w my dad, so my mom went to my brothers room (it was a king-sized bed so it was ok, it wasn't a small bed that we had to share or anything like that) and i went to my parents room. basically, what happened was that we went to sleep, and in the middle of the night, (the next part makes me feel so uncomfortable and i feel queasy writing it) my dad slapped my butt really really hard to the point where i woke up and i was like ?????? and then he rubbed it softly immediately afterwards. i didnt know what happened, and i told my sister the day after, and she was confused too. recently i was thinking about it and I'm still confused and a lot more uncomfortable with what happened. here is my theory and i was very upset by it bc no one would want to think things like this- maybe my dad likes hurting women during sex and it was a reflex that night, but once he realized it was me, he tried “soothing me” or some shit by rubbing my butt (i literally hate this, i hate the fact that this happened and i don't like typing it out). no one wants to think about their parents sex life so this was just disgusting to think about. also my brother and mom keep arguing and fighting with each other, and I'm sure i have trauma from hearing my parents argue all the time so i rlly don't like it when they fight. my brother has explosive anger and he literally screams at her, which is very disrespectful; however, she screams at him too and sometimes hurts him, which scares me. I'm not worried about my own safety, I just hate violence i hate abuse, that scares me. so much stuff has happened in my life, and it results in a lot of trauma and other stuff that i don't even know about. i just know im really fucked up, im damaged and it just all felt like crashing down on me today- like everything thats happened, i was feeling anxious for no reason, i was thinking about the past, and i started crying again while watching netflix after school, so i just kept crying and i talked to myself out loud about my day and why i was feeling the way i was. that did help to some extent, and after i did that, i stopped crying, and then my brain said “why do you shut off your crying so easily, you seem fake, you seem like you wanna be sad and cry just so that you can see your pretty little tears drip down ur face like an actress, ur so fake ur so fake ur faking it ur not actually sad”, and the hardest part was that i didnt even object to it bc i didnt feel like anything was real, i felt like i didnt know who i was. i was like ok bitch whatever maybe ur right maybe i am faking it. i dont even know how to explain it, but its like being tired of that nagging and negative voice that you just submit to it, and you say ok whatever sure i am faking it, but in truth, the sadness i was feeling was real and genuine. about 10 min ago, i saw that someone tagged me in a fanfic and while i was reading it, i literally started bawling. i guess it was bc i saw in my email inbox that people had sent me asks, and i was happy bc i thought that maybe the person who sent me the fanfic idea responded back with more details. i was anxious about that before, bc i was thinking, oh god what if they just never respond, what if they just dont care about u anymore. when i saw the asks notifications, i felt a lot of relief bc i thought to myself, oh phew ok people still care about u. when i was crying while reading the fanfic, i couldn't stop crying, it felt endless. i couldn't just stop crying like i had before, and it reminded me of the time when my mom was going out to meet someone that she met on a dating app, and it was in the earlier times when she started doing this; she had gotten involved with some terrible men in the past, men who catfished her and were rlly vulgar and gross. im sure this was somewhere in June, when i had just posted chapter 1 of the slytherpuff series bc when i was freaking out about the date, i wrote about it in my journal and i know that it was somewhere in June bc i wrote something like “mom is going out to meet someone and im nervous, please please please i hope shes ok and careful, im really nervous and scared, no one likes my writing, mom is probably in danger, oh god oh gosh”. it was just a whole bunch of negative and anxious thoughts, including how i was feeling about the whole situation with chapter 1, so that's how i know it was somewhere in June. anyways, basically i was really scared for my mom bc shes had a bad history with online men and i was scared that someone was gonna kill her. i read and listen to a lot of murder mysteries, so my mind was going absolutely wild. i remember on that day, i went to take a shower after writing that entry in the journal, bc showering makes me feel better. when i stepped into the shower i started crying bc i was really scared for her and i was hoping she was safe and ok but i was just feeling so scared so i was crying and i couldn't stop crying. that was the scary part because i just kept bawling and i couldn't stop like i usually do; my brain said ok that's enough, you’ve cried enough, but my heart just kept going on and on and my brain said ok ok jessica holy jesus that's enough and eventually i sucked it up and was kinda ok afterwards but still sad and numb. that was similar to what had happened about 20 min ago. also im sure i was also sad today bc yesterday, my mom talked to me about in-person college visits, and her demeanor was very rushed and controlling. she said, “ok jessica we’re gonna do the college visits, we’re gonna drive there, and your dad is gonna come home for that. tell him that you need to do that, ok? tell him we do the college visits together.” i said that colleges are doing virtual tours, and her facial expression was very strained, she was like “DO NOT TELL HIM THAT. dont tell him that, ok?!” and she was pointing her finger at me and everything. she said, “tell him we’re going to do the physical college tours, which colleges do you wanna visit??” and she kept telling me not to tell him about the virtual tours. it reminded me of whenever she told me to say this or that to my dad over the phone, and i was upset, like oh great ok so dad’s coming home and i dont even wanna see him bc i dont like him that much, and now im gonna have to lie bc dad is probably gonna already know about the virtual tours and im gonna have to pretend that none of the colleges are doing virtual tours. in essence, today was a terrible day. while i was crying my eyes out when reading the fanfic, i wanted to tell something, i wanted to reach out to lee and jolie, but my brain said that i would burden them, im always telling them about stuff that happens (concerning my family or other stuff) and its probably getting too much for them.  my brain said that they wont be able to help anyway, im still gonna have to deal with the stuff im dealing with, and no one can help. that's a sad thought, it seems so helpless and sad. sometimes i overthink the smallest things, and when i see a text from lee and jolie that doesnt seem “right”, i think, oh gosh they hate me now, why did i have to say that?? i usually see my therapist every Thursday, aka today, but we didnt meet this time bc her schedule is becoming busy so now we’re gonna do it every other week, so next week i shall see her. perhaps she can help. 

thank you for this ask, it seemed so out of the blue bc no one rlly sends asks like this anymore. while writing this, i literally thought to myself, shes like an angel sent from heaven

[tsuki-chibi]

Blackberries (Adrinette April) Day 26: Sick day

Or see it on AO3: Blackberries 

--------

When Marinette walked into school on Monday morning, she kind of wished she had taken a sick day, because the hottest topic of conversation was Coccinelle and Lynx and the new Bee and Fox miraculous holders. As she walked to Madame Bustier’s classroom, she couldn’t help looking around and wondering if one of the students around her was Coccinelle or Lynx. It could’ve been anyone.

‘This sucks,’ she thought to Adrien, who had already arrived at the classroom. Rather than wait outside for Marinette like he usually did, he’d been dragged into the school by an overly excited Alya.

‘It’s frustrating,’ Adrien thought in agreement. ‘But maybe, with time, it’ll get a little easier and we won’t wonder as much.’

Marinette had her doubts about that. Any attempts at getting Tikki to give so much as a hint about Coccinelle’s identity had been met with either silence or polite refusals or, last night when she had pushed Tikki too far, a gentle scolding about respecting privacy. Adrien had also asked Plagg about Lynx a few times, but Plagg usually just laughed at him and refused to say anything.

“Marinette, there you are!” Alya cried as Marinette slid the door to their classroom open.

“Uh – what?” Marinette said, freezing and wondering if her phone had lied and she was late.

‘You’re not late. Alya is just going crazy,’ Adrien thought, waving to her from where he was still sitting beside Chloé in the front row. Chloé wasn’t there yet.

“Did you read my newest article on the Ladyblog?” Alya demanded, practically jumping down the stairs to shove her phone in Marinette’s face. “Look! It has over two hundred thousand views already! That’s over twice as many views as I got from Lila’s interview!”

“Wow,” Marinette said, gently easing Alya’s phone away from her nose. “That’s really cool! And of course I read it, but my mom made me help in the bakery all day yesterday. We were slammed. I didn’t get a chance to text you.”

“Sure, yeah,” Alya said absently, all of her attention on her blog as she hit the refresh button again. Marinette slipped by and made her way up to her desk, thankful that Lila wasn’t there yet either. Maybe she would be lucky and Lila would be the one who was out sick.

“Good morning, Marinette,” Nino said.

“Hi Nino,” Marinette said with a smile, taking her seat. “Long weekend?”

Nino just sighed. “Let’s just say I’m kinda glad that Alya and I have shields up,” he whispered, leaning towards Marinette. “All she’s been talking about nonstop is that article she wrote.”

“Ouch,” Marinette said, who was well acquainted with exactly how obsessed Alya could get. She suddenly found herself grateful that she had been preoccupied all weekend. Listening to Alya drone on about Ladybug was awkward enough. She really didn’t want to have to listen to endless theories about the new Bee and Fox too!

“So do you think there’ll be an akuma attack today?” Alya demanded, throwing herself down in her seat. She looked from Marinette to Nino to Adrien, clearly expecting an answer. Marinette looked at Nino and shrugged, so Nino turned hopefully to Adrien. Adrien sighed.

“Uh – we don’t know,” he said at last. “I don’t think anyone but Hawkmoth knows that.”

“But I need someone to get akumatized!” Alya cried.

“Alya!” Nino said. “That’s awful.”

Alya scrunched her face up. “I know, but how else am I going to find out more about Coccinelle and Lynx?” she asked, dramatically flopping over the desk. “If they’re anything like Ladybug and Chat Noir, they’ll only come out when there’s an akuma or when they’re on patrol. And who even knows if they’re going to be doing patrols? I just have so many questions I want to ask!”

“It’s very unlikely that they’re going to tell you what you want to know even if you do get to see them,” Marinette pointed out.

“You don’t know that. I can be very persuasive,” Alya said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“What do you even want to know?” Adrien asked.

“Everything! I want to know why Ladybug and Chat Noir stopped being heroes, I want to know who Coccinelle and Lynx are, I still want to know who Ladybug and Chat Noir are – I want to know it all!” Alya proclaimed.

“Why don’t you just ask Lila?” Marinette said before she could stop herself.

“Why would Lila know?” Alya asked, puzzled.

“Well, you said Lila and Ladybug are best friends. If Ladybug doesn’t have the Ladybug miraculous anymore, then surely she would’ve told Lila who she was so they could keep hanging out,” Marinette said in the most innocent voice she could muster. “Lila probably knows all the details now.”

Adrien was hard-pressed to restrain a smirk as Alya’s eyes lit up. ‘You’re evil,’ he thought.

‘You know it,’ Marinette thought smugly. She was extremely curious to find out what Lila would say in response to that. Though knowing Lila and the wild stories she could pull out of mid-air, she’d probably make something up about Ladybug having to flee Paris unexpectedly. After all, it wasn’t like Lika could give the name of someone. Not unless she had someone willing to lie for her…

“That’s a great idea!” Alya burst out. “Maybe she’d be willing to do another interview!”

Nino was smiling at Alya’s enthusiasm. “You won’t know until you ask. And there’s your chance.” He nodded to the door and Marinette turned to look as Lila walked into the room. Chloé, Sabrina, and Ivan were right behind her.

“Hi Lila!” Alya said.

“Hi,” Lila said, making her way up to her desk.

“Did you see the Ladyblog this weekend?” Alya asked.

“Yeah,” Lila said slowly. “Why?” She looked from Alya to Nino to Adrien before settling on Marinette, her eyes narrowed. It was obvious that she knew something was up, but she wasn’t sure what. Marinette couldn’t help a small smirk.

“I wanted to know if you’d do another interview!” Alya said, and it was wonderful to see the way that Lila froze.

“Another interview? Why?” Lila asked.

“Because you’re Ladybug’s best friend, of course! You’ve got the inside scoop on why she’s no longer a superhero,” Alya said. “And maybe even on her identity?” She looked hopefully at Lila.

‘This is great,’ Adrien thought gleefully.

‘She looks totally panicked,’ Marinette thought, biting her lip to hold a smile in.

“U-um… I’ll have to see…” Lila said, clearly trying to think fast. “Ladybug, she – she doesn’t really want me spreading her secrets…”

“But she’s not Ladybug anymore,” Nino said. “Hey, maybe you could even introduce us!”

“That would be amazing!” Marinette chimed in, unable to resist.

“I’d like to meet her too,” Adrien added.

“So would I,” Chloé said, setting her backpack down behind Asrien. “You did say on the blog that you’d do more interviews. You wouldn’t want to disappoint your fans, right?”

“Of – of course not,” Lila said weakly.

“Speaking of blogs, did you guys see the picture of Marinette and Adrien?” Chloé went on, turning to Alya and Nino.

“No,” Alya said, looking baffled by the fact that Chloé was speaking to her.

“You need to see it. They look like the perfect couple,” Chloé gushed, pulling her phone out and turning it on. She aimed it at Alya and Nino – and, Marinette realized, at Lila, who took one look at the photo and went white. Then she flushed red with anger.

‘Remind me to bake Chloé a dozen cookies,’ Marinette thought.

‘She deserves way more than just a dozen,’ Adrien thought. ‘I almost feel bad for enjoying this.’

“Wow, that is a great picture,” Alya said, impressed.

“Excuse me,” Lila mumbled, grabbing her backpack. She rushed down the steps and out the door.

“Oh, poor Lila,” Alya said, her smile immediately falling. “Seeing you guys together is so hard for her.”

Chloé put her hands on her hips. “And why would that be?” she asked tightly.

Alya awkwardly glanced over her shoulder at Marinette. “Ah, well…”

“If the next words out of your mouth have anything to do with soulmates, then save it,” Chloé sneered. “You call yourself a journalist, but you’re really failing to check your sources. I’ve never heard of an ethical and genuine journalist that ignores an established source of information for pure clickbait bullshit.”

“Watch it, Chloé,” Nino said warningly.

“Shut it, Lahiffe. This doesn’t concern you,” Chloé said haughtily. “Everyone, listen up!” She yelled that last part, and everyone in the class turned to look at them.

“What is it?” Alix said.

“At first I thought it was funny, but now I’m sick of it and so I’m putting this dumb rumor to rest. Adrien Agreste and Lila Rossi are not soulmates. Whatever Rossi thinks she feels towards him is all in her head,” Chloé said. Adrien’s mouth dropped open in surprise.

“How do you know?” Alya demanded.

Chloé glared at her. “Because Adrien and I have been friends since we were children. I know what his words are, and I guarantee you that Rossi did not, and never will, say them.”

[radramblog]

Ninty Direct Feb 2021 Thoughts

That was uh. Kind of disappointing, actually.

I suppose it was inevitable that we weren’t seeing Pokemon since they’re gonna do their own announcement. But like. Coulda done better here.

(oh no you’re now introduced to my awful awful handwriting, is this better or worse than my cursed interests? you decide)

Anyway I wrote down everything they announced so here we go

Pyra/Mythra in Smash: I don’t give a single shit about the Xenoblade series, but it’s one of like 2 IPs Nintendo has had in the last decade so sure whatever they can have second a character as a treat. I’m mostly just annoyed this wasn’t a third-party character.

Fall Guys Switch: This feels inevitable. It also feels about 5 months too late.

Outer Wilds Switch: I’ve heard some absolutely excellent things about this game, so fair enough. I’m not sure I’d buy it on the Switch, but I haven’t bought it at all yet, so.

Famicom Detective Club: This looks like a Ren’py game if it had an actual budget, but still used Ren’py for some reason. Prooobably not biting on this one chief.

Samurai Warriors 5: The only Warriors game I’ve played is the first hyrule warriors, and the only Nobunaga game I’ve played was Pokemon Conquest (it’s a trip), so. I don’t understand the obsession they have over there for this bloke, like imagine if Australia made like a tv series a year and a large handful of video games about Ned Kelly or something.

Legend of Mana: Shit I should go play Octopath Traveler huh

Monster Hunter Rise: Those monster designs looked pretty kickass, and those human designs made me crack up laughing. I’ve never played Monster Hunter, and I don’t think this is gonna change that.

Mario Golf: Hey look they confirmed Waluigi as playable ahead of time so people wouldn’t complain, good job guys. The multiplayer of this looked silly as hell, but I’m not spending 80 bucks on wii sports tennis for a multiplayer mode ill drag my mates to play all of once before we go back to playing Beetle Adventure Racing.

Tales from the Borderlands: Wait telltale is still around? Ok…? I haven’t played Borderlands and don’t really care for the Telltale style so nah

Capcom Arcade Stadium: They could have made a peripheral like the NES/SNES mini, but they didn’t, and it’s for the best. The fact that one of the games is free implies to me that the rest are going to be overcosted, though.

Stubbs the Zombie: What the fuck am I looking at. Apparently this is a remaster of an old Xbox game, but I’ve never heard of it. Weird as fuck, but sure.

No More Heroes III: No more Heroes is a franchise that I’ve never played, but always wanted to. It seems right up my alley aesthetic-wise, and the gameplay looks pretty solid too- probably gonna try one of the older ones first, though.

Neon White: Speaking of aesthetic. This looks anime as fuck and edgy in a good way, and the gameplay looks real fun. I actually really want to check this out, and no, it’s not just because of the skull masked goth gf on the cover. (Doesn’t hurt, though.)

DC Super Hero Girls Teen Power: Jesus, this looks like a bad tie-in game from the mid 2000s. Not like Battle for Bikini Bottom, more like a Jimmy Neutron. And while I really liked the Jimmy Neutron game as a kid (shame about the show), this doesn’t look like it’ll stand up to that…high bar. Listening to this trailer made me want to die a little bit inside.

Plants Vs Zombies: Battle for Neighbourville: I miss PopCap. Peggle 3, never.

Miitopia: This looks cute, and will probably lead to the same sort of 3am DMs that happened with Tomodachi Life. If it’s a full priced game, it probably won’t sell at all.

Animal Crossing New Horizons Mario items: uhhh sure. Don’t have that game, so.

Triangle Strategy: Aww fuck it’s a final fantasy tactics that looks like octopath and it might have an actually good story, shiiiiiiiiit. I’m gonna give the demo a try before I land on this, but I’m optimistic.

Star Wars Hunters: When was the last time we had an actually good Star Wars game? And don’t say Fallen Order. Yeah, didn’t think so.

KO City: Ah, the bottom of the barrel. Didn’t think it would take this long. At this point, the pseudo-cartoony style everything has because they’re trying to ape Fortnite is extremely grating on me. (I definitely thought this ad was for Fortnite stuff at first)

World’s End Club: OK this one has me actually hyped. I knew that Kodaka (director/writer of the Danganronpa series) and Uchikoshi (director/writer of the Zero Escape series) were working on a joint project, and we’re finally seeing the results. Both of them have multiple excellent games under their respective belts, and this new game looks like a fun spin on what I’m sure a lot of people were expecting from the pair. Literally both of them have made a game where (spoilers I guess, Keara stop reading here you haven’t played VLR yet) there’s a death game going on while the characters are unaware the world fucking ended, so to see the idea of the death game getting interrupted and the characters actually having to live in the dead world is really cool. I’m paying cloooose attention to this one.

Hades (Physical Release): Dang now if I buy hades I can choose to have some of my money go to EB games or JB hifi or something. Cooooooooooooool.

Ninja Gaiden Collection: This just made me wonder why Ryu Hayabusa isn’t in Smash yet. Is it because there’s already a Ryu?

Age of Calamity DLC: I don’t think I mentioned this in my post yesterday, but I would have put money on DLC for this game coming out. I still haven’t played it, but the first Hyrule Warriors had so much fucking DLC so this was inevitable in my eyes.

Bravely Default 2: Uhhh its another JRPG man idk what you want me to say. Didn’t play the first one, apparently its good.

Ghosts n Goblins Resurrection: Kinda funny having this next to the free original in the Capcom Arcade Stadium. Capcom is reviving old franchises, I guess? Where’s Mega Man Battle Network, cowards?

SaGa Frontier: I’ve heard good things about the SaGa series, but this looks awful. Not like gameplay wise, the style for the models and shit in game just disinterests me.

Apex Legends: Is anyone still playing this game?

BOTW 2 (no news): I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. Next Direct, I guess.

Skyward Sword HD: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

Seriously though, I was expecting 3 of the best Zeldas ever made to get ports, and we got the one that I wasn’t interested in. Fuck you too, I guess.

Splatoon 3: I actually was super interested in this, seeing as the trailer looked like it was gonna be for some like… side game, 3D RPG or something, exploring the origins of the Splatoon world? But then it’s just Splatoon 3. And like, I know people really like that series, but it never appealed to me. The world is neat! But I’m not interested in the series as it is.

And that’s the tea.

ADDENDUM:

shit that’s this weekend? huh ok -New Hearthstone expansions revealed, kinda like WOTC does with magic every so often, just like “here’s the next couple sets btw”. Since they do nothing but plagiarise off each other and MTG is having a set based on another WOTC property this year (D&D), there’s going to be a Starcraft set. -Diablo 4 release date that will not be stuck to since COVID is still a thing -people are hoping for starcraft 3. Blizzard to announce Starcraft 2 Episode 1. -New WoW expansion announced, determined objectively to be “worst ever” before trailer is even finished