#it's kinda sad that Walters' last episode makes me want to see more of his Jason

[a-s-levynn]

I'm completely unashamed to admit that i only watched the new episode of titans because i knew Jason's gonna be in it and i was like fuck it let's watch. And i have to say it finally gave me what i wanted from a live action Jason Todd.. in around or less than 8 minutes.. i'm sad it's so short but i'm happy that it happend.

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep18

Was gonna post this days ago but I decided to do twewy-related stuff first lol.

Anyways, lots of pictures below again. At least 20, I think. Talks of ships below as well.

The last time we saw them, Iruma had jumped in front of the beast preparing to shoot a blast of magic in front of Ronove. Everyone else is worried but don’t know what to do cause if they tried to help, they’d get blasted, too. It seems though that Iruma himself has a plan.

Iruma plans to use Ali-san’s ability to swallow the huge amount of magic to eat the blast of it the beast is going to release saying he thought it was possible since Ali-san is the Ring of Gluttony. Arikured is surprised by this and complains at first but agrees he could do such a thing but Iruma's strength will be needed to succeed.

Remember that spell Iruma learned before about changing the appearance of something? Iruma uses that magic spell to turn Ali-san into this... cat thing. Giant cat thing idk so it could swallow the magic. Ali-san swallows the entire beast and let it explode inside him. Once it was over, the sky clears up, too. The plan totally worked and Ali-san is full!

Does this mean Iruma could use the power that got eaten from the beasts?

Trouble is over and Iruma gets together with his friends again. His friends were all worried about him though and Kalego-sensei came up to tell him he'd been reckless again. Iruma says he hasn't forgotten about what Kalego-sensei had said before at the home visit and that he had now finally understood what sensei meant. He was so used to danger due to almost always being in one himself that he never realized how bad such situations were until everyone else he cared about got affected. He adds that he gave it everything he's got even though he wasn't sure he'd even win because he wants to protect everyone and holding onto that ideal is part of his "desire".

I’m happy this arc helped some of them grow and show the growth of those who already have. Pretty cool.

Random screenshot but I just wanna direct your attention to fluffy Kalego-sensei who is being adorable right now. I cannot take him seriously when he’s like this and even when he’s angry, this form makes it look adorable.

Back to the story.

While all the mess is happening on the surface, Kiriwo-senpai has finally been found by the Six Fingers who are there to help him escape under the orders of Baal. The other escaping inmates are also in the area but still behind bars and Kiriwo-senpai tells them that he never planned to help them escape alongside him and never said he'd do such thing in the first place.

I kinda feel bad for them but they are also bad people so, eh.

Upon donning the same coat the Six Fingers' wear, one of the prisoners had the realization that unlike all of them there who are merely "bad", Kiriwo is actually "evil".

One of the Six Fingers asked why they couldn't just let the prisoners escape, too as it'll help in causing chaos and Kiriwo-senpai answers that seeing the despair the prisoners are gonna be in when they realize they'd never be let out despite going this far will be fun to see. Plus, they're not strong enough and will be caught again anyways.

I missed seeing Kiriwo-senpai’s evil hairstyle. It’s been a while. I guess this answers the question I had back in season 1: Kiriwo-senpai chose to be evil. Sad but I should’ve seen it coming.

Back on the surface, a parade starts and on the float are the heroes who saved Walter Park. While Iruma is properly mentioned, the owner, Rossevelt also shows off his son (Ronove does call him Legend-daddy as in the English word lol). The owner thanks Iruma for saving the park and calls him a hero.

They look alike except for the mustache and hair length. Anime genetics never fail. Does Legend-daddy also sing his own bgm?

Unbeknownst to our heroes, Kiriwo-senpai is around the corner watching the parade. He's surprised to find out that not only was Iruma also at Walter Park at this time but Iruma is also the one to defeat the beast. Instead of being angry at another evil plan foiled, Kiriwo-senpai says that this must be destiny and was happy to see Iruma. He was gonna walk out into the crowd but snaps out of this happy state by a call from Baal.

Senpai really blurs the line between love and hate cause he acts similarly when it comes to Iruma. Congrats to the fans of this ship for getting this scene and also, I still don’t know the ship name for them. How do I tag this?

Back to the phone call, Baal isn't happy that the park still stands. Walter Park is created to vent out demons' evil cycle after all and he has no need for that in his goals as he prefers that the demons go way beyond the evil cycle and just become ultimately evil. Unfortunately for him, the authorities are coming and they can't really do much else so he tells Kiriwo-senpai and the rest to escape already.

After being told to escape, Kiriwo-senpai says that this isn’t the end and declares that he and Iruma will meet again as they are destined enemies.

I guess in Iruma’s harem, he’s the “enemies to lovers” love interest lol.

Iruma looks at the direction where Kiriwo-senpai was but of course, he doesn’t see anything and he’s none the wiser.

Opera gives Iruma back his backpack at the float. As Iruma looks inside for his stuff, he finds the note his grandfather gave him of things he must do on his trip with the final one on the list being "Have fun with everyone!". Iruma looks at his smiling friends and thinks that even though a lot of scary things happened today, he still did have fun with them. Aww so cute!

Iruma gets reunited with his worried grandpa who goes to the hotel to check on him. Iruma says he couldn't go home early as Ronove's dad let them stay at the hotel as thanks for saving the park. Ronove’s dad adds that they are also Sullivan's students so he's happy to give them such things. Iruma tells his grandpa that he's happy and okay and that the teachers and Opera protected them. Grandpa Sullivan decided that the three adults would be given the job of protecting Iruma from now on (and Kalego-sensei felt a chill down his spine elsewhere in the hotel lol).

These two adults are the same. They probably won’t stop talking about their kids if you’re around them. Reminds me of FMA’s Maes Hughes (thought still makes me sad).

While the teachers are discussing information about the attacks, Kalego-sensei goes to his room to find his team on the bed making fun of the stuff he said earlier much to his annoyance. The boys said wanted to stay in the teachers' room as it's better than the room they got but Kalego-sensei quickly kicks them out.

The girls also get rewards and are allowed to get any clothes they wanted which made them happy. Ronove’s dad is pretty generous, huh? Like, I know these guys deserve it for all their hard work but the guy looks so happy that he’d probably still be nice to them even without all the trouble happening.

They are all also given an all-you-can-eat buffet. Iruma eats a ton of food obviously. Clara is having fun at the chocolate fountain thing and Ronove is trying to make Agares eat. Those two got close, huh? lol I wonder if Ronove’s doing this to try and make Agares unattractive or something. It’ll be cool if they became friends though with their very contrasting personalities and all.

While everyone is having fun inside, Iruma leaves without anyone else realizing except for Ameri who decides to follow. They end up at the rooftop by themselves with Ameri trying to calm herself down as she's thinking of romantic stuff as it’s just the two of them. Iruma then reminds Ameri of the question she asked him before about his goal and tells her he finally found one: he wants have fun with everyone. He's willing to change in order to be able to protect that ideal of his. Ameri is happy to see Iruma has grown.

Ameri decided that she also wants to give it her all for her own desires and ambitions. She then tries to tell Iruma something but sadly she gets cockblocked by Clara and Azz both appearing. Ameri gives up for now and tells Iruma to just go with his friends.

Before leaving, Iruma asks Ameri a question - the same thing she was going to ask him earlier! He asks if they could hang out sometimes but just the two of them and she passes out from this lol.

Congratulations to Iruma x Ameri fans for getting a scene like this, too. I also don’t know the ship name for them. Anyways, why is it just the senpais getting a moment with Iruma? Ameri has been getting a lot of moments, too and it’s making me wonder if she’s endgame.

lol also, Ameri is worried about the other female rivals not realizing there’s another threat somewhere else.

While all that teen drama is happening, both Romiere's dad and Iruma's grandpa are being interviewed on tv. The two men then tell everyone how their kids and those kids' friends are the heroes of Walter Park. Since Iruma's name had been specifically mentioned (with everyone knowing the heroes are "Iruma and friends"), there ends up being reporters outside the hotel wanting to see Iruma the next day. Iruma, of course, doesn't like this popularity. With the thought that there may also be reporters waiting at his home, Clara offers to let Iruma stay at her house.

Oooh... will we finally get Iruma x Clara and Iruma x Azz moments as well? Hehehe

There's something new in the ED video by the way! This used to be for Kuromu but now it’s for these boys! Cute!

---

I’m guessing this is the end of this arc? I wonder what the last one will be since we only have like, what, 6 episodes more? What kind of arc will it be, I wonder cause this one had battles.

Okay, the end where the heroes are mentioned to be “Iruma and friends”, I’m happy and surprised that none of the others were bothered by this at all. No one complained about why Iruma is the only one specifically named. It didn’t cause a fight between the entire group unlike what would’ve happened if this was any other story. I get why Iruma got proper credit as he is the one to end the incident and saved everyone around from being fried but his friends did a lot of work, too and it’d have been better if they were all credited properly in the news. None of them were mad though and are happy that they won because they did their best.

Ronove calling his dad “Legend-daddy” will never not be cute and funny to me. His dad, despite being rich enough to own this entire park, isn’t an annoying, arrogant asshole and I like that. I’m happy that most characters in this show subvert my expectations and they make me like them more.

I’m sorry if I don’t tag ships in my mairuma posts but I don’t know any of the series’ ship names lol. Speaking of ships, as I mentioned before, Ameri’s been getting a lot of moments with Iruma or focus on her growing feelings for Iruma. Kiriwo-senpai only showed up a bit in this arc and got a bit for himself, too. Kuromu and Clara only had a bit when Iruma went evil cycle and I wonder if they’d get more, too. I personally ship him with Azz so I wish they’d gets some moments as well. Eiko gets hers mostly on the “Interval” segments.

So... is it possible to have a mairuma dating sim or not? Look at how many routes are available! XD

Anyways, focus next time is on Clara’s family probably with Iruma spending time there. I expect another Valac Family musical! XD

Thanks for reading!

[aw-eather]

Heather Watches SG1 s7ep17&18: Heroes pt1 and pt2

 Watched 23/06/2020

Well here we go friends. I’m torturing myself for the sake of making y’all laugh and also because I have a LOT of feelings about this two parter and NONE of them are good. I can’t be the only one so lets see who else agrees with me! 

This is about to get long and very swear word heavy so avert your eyes if you aren’t into that <3 Just letting you know I use some VERY strong language this post. I’m Australian so the word isn’t uncommon for us to use and we use it as a term of endearment in some parts too but I just wanted y’all to know. 

This turned into the biggest one I’ve ever done too with 362 dot points... read if you dare

Well here we go

I’m probably gonna cry a lot

I love Saul Rubinek. 

I adore him in Warehouse 13

Artie Neilson is like the dad I didn’t have

but fuck me if I don’t hate Emmet

This WHOLE two parter is pointless and just serves to kill of a character that didn’t need to die 

Anyway getting into that a little early on

Fuck the defence department. 

You haven’t spoken to Space Dad of Texas

The most unorthodox

JFC this ass hole

I’m calling him AssHole for the rest of the episodes

Of course they don’t want them here, he’s a dick 

Hammond’s little smile

This whole episode feels sombre and sad

and we’re three minutes into the two parter

this whole thing is about to fall to shit

credits

i’m not even excited for the credits

because I’m hurting

last time I watched this I’d started crying the second it started so I’m doing much better this time 

I love watching them go up the ramp  to the gate

its nice

end credits

NO ONE ASKED YOU SAUL

that was a bomb

but NO ONE ASKED YOU 

And Teryl Rothery as Dr. Janet Fraiser

FUCK OFF

He doesn’t have time

He’s busy

Lol coughed on his hand and went to shake Saul’s hand

dead

memos... as if Jack’s ever read one of those

Sam is so awkward

I love her so much

It is nothing short of extraodinary 

she is nothing short of extraordinary and we know this

but again

NOT ONE ASKED YOU ASSHOLE

and grand empress of scifi

grand empress of my heart 

goof ball

the list goes on

god she’s so awkward’

but so adorable 

Thats fine

please annoy Daniel 

What was it like to be dead ffs

TRANSCENDED? DID YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION???

What else is he supposed to say?! He DIED he doesn’t REMEMBER ANYTHING

Daniel’s right

Its fascinating 

LOL DANIEL YOU STUPID IDIOT THATS HILARIOUS

I love Daniel when he’s pissing off people i hate

Bill <3 

Personal microwave oven... nice

And its only taken you 7 years

so glad you did though

Odd that he was on fire

but we never see that happen any other times

“He does this all the time” poor Siler

Sam looks so happy when talking technobable and about her doohickeys. 

I adore her

And honestly all that shits fascinating 

still 32 minutes left... 

honestly if it weren’t for me talking about Janets death, I’d never watch these again. 

They are genuinely some of the worst episodes of SG1

I said what I said

“Sure. Its really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything”

She’s gonna kill someone

WALTER

Thats right

FUCK OFF SAUL

DOESN’T MEAN THERE WASN’T ANY GOA’ULD HERE RECENTLY

I love that they take odds

but this scene is only here to set up the character that is the reason Janet dies

because Janet shouldn’t have been off base

but we’re not going to talk about that are we? 

The episode would have played out the same if this man had died

Anyone can die in war

Doesn’t matter if they’re a parent etc

but nah

we gotta - 

sorry I’ll stop

SHE’S SO HOT 

JACK YOU IDIOT

As if he read the memo

THERE SHOULD BE A CAKE

Obviously he can’t tell you much because he was DEAD

OMG TEAL’C

HE’S NOT SAYING A WORD

BECAUSE HE FUCKING HATES THIS GUY MORE THAN I DO

SAUL SHUT UP

LITERALLY NO ONE CARES 

GO HOME

“Dr Jackson is going to die when he sees this”

“What again?”

my dude you have NO idea

This is what happens when you go poking around

you get ambushed

because it was all a fucking set up

no explination of WHO set them up tho... it was just a set up

what

a

joke

wooooooow

they took it out with a WALL

NOT THIS FUCKING ARSE HOLE

KINSEY JUST PISS OFF 

WE DON’T LIKE YOU

WE DON’T WANT YOU

GO SUCK A ROTTEN TOMATO

EVEN SAUL IS BORED OF YOU

AND HE’S THE MOST BORING MAN I’VE EVER MET

leave Jack alone

YES JACK

Its not slander if its TRUE YOU WANKER

NO YOU HAVE NOT

PAST AND PRESENT YOU ASS

JFC

Who cares what the president wants

I am 90% sure Jack just called Kinsey a limp dick and I’ve never been prouder? 

“deep and unyielding love for you, sir” SHUT UP JACK YOU GOOSE 

Well Mr Bregman can such a toe

Fancy arguing with Space Dad from Texas

OH FUCK OFF SAUL

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

NO ONE CARES

HAMMOND IS RIGHT

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE THERE

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET HURT

YOU HAVE NO RIGT TO BE THERE

Sam joking around with Teal’c is so sweet

I love them and their friendship so much

Gah!

OF COURSE THERE IS A CHANCE THINGS WILL GO WRONG YOU NARCACISTIC FUCK

ITS LIKE TO GO MORE WRONG WITH YOU THERE

I’M SORRY I’M YELLING SO MUCH I JUST HATE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE BODY.

Well is he wrong? 

Because you’re an absolute arse, thats why it doesn’t matter

Shots of your ass serve us all well O’Neill

“How do you feel about Colonel O’Neill”

She wishes to kiss him, sir. 

And potentially much more but we shall no discuss that here

He is amazing

Time outside of work... what are you insinuating

Good cover

Like family

First and foremost her superior officer

Secondly your LOVER

because I pretend Pete doesn’t exist right now

OH THIS SCENE

Actually that was pretty cute Daniel

And you’re right it is fascinating

At some action? 

So you can be a dick and use peoples death as entertainment? 

Fuck me 

His job is the inscriptions

seriously fuck this guy

I love how Sam’s face goes from he’s right its boring to aww Daniel, he didn’t :O

I love their friendship

But it nearly could have cause people like oh, I don’t know, YOUR BOYFRIEND, SAMANTHA, stalk people

shouldn’t have stayed as long as you did

if y’all hadn’t stayed

this wouldn’t have happened

Janet my love 

I’m crying

wow Jack has been hurt a fuck tonne

he didn’t give permission

Saul is an ass

I’m literally fighting tears right now

I fucking love her so much 

You never know what to expect but you do such a good job sweetie 

I’m so proud of you

The more she talks the more proud of her I am

and the more of a loss it truly is that she goes

because she’s fucking incredible and she has so much heart 

her little laugh fucking STOP

My heart is literally breaking 

AND DR FRAISER

STOP

THEY WOULDN’T HAVE JUST WALKED INTO AN AMBUSH LIKE THAT ON ANY OLD DAY

WHY NOW

WHO WROTE THIS FUCKING SHIT

FUCK OFF SAUL

THIS IS RIDICULOUS

HER GIGGLE STOP I LOVE HER 

SHE DESERVED MORE

DO NOT GO

JANET NO STAY

BABY

and we end there to go to part two

this episode felt weird

it feels like is a drama inside a drama does that make sense? 

It kinda feels like 200

like it feels fake and like its about to cut to a shot of them sitting around a table, flabergasted and with their heads in their hands

So Robert C. Cooper wrote it

I just wanna talk buddy... just wanna talk

THEY AIRED THIS FUCKER THE DAY BEFORE VALENTIES DAY?!?! WTF SYFY?!

Alright starting episode 2

SAUL FUCK OFF YOU CAN’T BE THERE

JANET BABY DON’T GOOOOOOO

I AM CRYING

I have my pillow pet who is named Janet

She was a gag gift about 7 years ago and I was watching SG1 at the time

but also she just looked like a Janet

She’s become a staple in my life and I love her 

Anyway she always gets me through these episodes

credits

still not into it right now

should have skipped them this episode tbh

end credits

Ordered chocolate cake

it arrived

i’m happy with this choice

I don’t give a fuck about them deciding what happens in the fucking video

Good answer Daniel

I could also watch Major Carter’s head talk all day

They didn’t stand a fucking chance out there

They ran into that situation totally unprepared

which they would never have done normally

this whole two parter is fucking bull shit

and then they pit Jack and Janet against each other... like who are we gonna be more upset to lose in this moment

Fuck Jack

baby noooo

I can’t take this episode ffs

Lol Walter being cute

Get out of there

You cunt

get that fucking camera off 

fuck this guy

no Sam

fuck off 

leave her alone

punch him in the face

oh Sam honey I’m so sorry

she lost her best friend

FUCK OF SAUL

JESUS 

HER BEST FRIEND JUST DIED 

SHE’S IN PAIN

YOU DO NOT GET TO DICTATE WHETHER PEOPLE GET FILMED WHEN SHE’S CLEARLY IN PAIN

I’LL TURN YOU OFF YOU FUCKING ARSE HOLE FUCK YOU

don’t sit there all upset like your day has been ruined

And now we have them making us think Jack died so that we worry about him the entire episode instead of Janet

because who cares about her right?

FUCKING WOOLSEY

I literally just screamed

i hate him

this episode can’t get any FUCKING WORSE

I also question the decision. 

No offence Space Dad of Texas

but it doens’t make sense that you chose to do what you did

I’m sorry but it doesn’t 

FUCK OOOOOOFFFF WOOOSLEY

Hammond visiting Carter <3 

Ah Barrett

So Woolsey is a corrupt piece of shit

Whoda thunk it

I’m crying again

Poor Hammond

Poor Sam

Talking at the memorial man

OH GOOD MORE WOOLSEY

BECAUSE THIS EPISODE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH...

Fuck him

And the truth is that you’re a dick, moving on

Daniel has a point... and I hate saying that but he has a point

I love Sam

Daniel doesn’t give a fuck

Go Daniel I’m proud of you

OH NOT SAUL AND THE F U C K I N G CAMERA

NO PISS OFF

This is cruel

to make us see her death

to show us her literal dead body was too fucking much

I’m sorry but this would have been just as powerful if Simons had died

Hes a good kid

but this would have had the same impact

I’m sick of this man

I’m sick of this shit

OH MY GOD GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Which is why you bastards should not have been in the fucking field

It was of a man dying

end of

Yeah but what they do every single day doesn’t mean show us JANETS DEATH

Sharing it with the world won’t make him feel any better about one of his best friends getting show you mole

Good, Woolsey again

suck my dick

So this guy put money values on peoples heads

and he got command of Atlantis? 

Yeah fuck him I’m not watching s5 of Atlantis

to be fair $27 million is a lot of money

but its still peopls lives

fuck off you smarmy git

I would love to see him tossed out on his arse

He can do that

fuck off you don’t get to say in whether or not you’re there or have a right to be there

you’re invading on peoples privacy

you’re an ass

The Tape

Fuck the N.I.D

I actually feel really bad for Daniel

fuck you Bregman

so excited to see people’s deaths

I had to pause for a moment

because I just saw Janet die

and its cruel

We didn’t have to see her death

knowing it happened was bad enough 

physically seeing her dead is like salt in the wound

Janet deserved so much more than this

hope you’re happy bregman

sam visiting Jack

hurts because i love the cute moment

but it hurts

because we shuoldn’t have had to lose janet for this

Cassie... my heart is broken

the way he looks at her when she starts crying and the hug  like he has been there with her so many times 

its all so sweet 

and they’re so in love but they can’t have each other

its rude 

Poor Simon... 

Poor Sam

watching her cry is so hard

and Teal’c 

guys i’m not sure i can finsih this

ok sorry I’m back

Gotta pick up Cassie

Cassie 100% lived with Sam right? 

Oh Teal’c... i love you so, so much you sweet angel

and the little hug.. their friendship is beautiful

I’m so sick of Bregman at this point

and them being in the room where Daniel died, where Jack chose to get his symbiote, where they saved Cassie and Sam and countless others, where they helped Teal’c

Janet was so strong, so wise

oh Daniel... I’m sorry 

It does but others don’t need to see it Daniel

Oh fuck I’ll be back after the memorial

its such a beautiful memorial

and Im glad they chose Sam to talk 

I’m gonna say some more in my final notes

its hard right now with the tears

I still think you’re an absolute arse, Saul

This was kinda sweet actually

oh they named the baby Janet

i’m never gonna stop crying 

Oh Jack

he’s so unimpressed

what a stupid way to end it

sorry but that was shit

Final thoughts

i genuinely hate these episodes. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever watch them again. Even with another watch through.. they’re not as well written or directed as other episodes, they’re unbelievable in the cannon of the show and breaks their own rules, not to mention the sheer heartbreak

Bregman is one of the most unlikeable characters in the show. If Simmons had of been alive he could have been in the episode too just to add to the trifecta of cunts!

Cassie should have been at the memorial

they make you think Jack is dead so we won’t worry about janet to what? make it more of a shock? because it doesn’t work. It should never have been designed to make us feel relief at Janet’s death because it wasn’t Jack! It doesn’t do her justice. 

Janet Fraiser was a smart woman with a massive heart. She was brave and strong and she cared for everyone even when they were arseholes. She had a bit of fun with SG1 sometimes too. She was an incredible Dr, mother and friend.  Janet was tiny but tough. Something that i aim for. I’m 5ft2 so basically the same as Janet and believe it or not i’ve had people question my ability to be a good teacher because noone will take me seriously. Janet always made me feel like people would take me seriously and that even though I’m small, I can do big things. She encouraged me to be a good person with a heart of gold. Her death hits really hard for that reason. but also because she was an incredible character who deserved more than what she was given. Hardly any screen time and then murdered to make some sort of point that didn’t need making??? Not to mention she’s mentioned twice in the next three seasons and when she “comes back” in Ripple Effect she spends almost no time with Sam which makes exactly 0 sense. 

Someone recently said they heard she was killed because the writers didn’t know how much more time they had and wanted to wrap some stuff up? Lets not forget that they made the end of this season a huge cliff hanger... but I’m still not sure what we could wrap up with her death? She had a fucking child!

Any way I won’t be watching this again. I’m sorry this isn’t much fun but hopefully you’ve got a giggle out of me swearing at the idiots 

I love you all for reading this and supporting me posts, they’re usually pretty fun to make honestly!

[loveisbananananas]

some thoughts on Babylon Berlin Season 3

it’s spoiler-y for all 12 episodes ok 

what I liked

the return of Doris aka my favourite secretary... give her a storyline please I love her

redemption for Frau Behnke!!! I’m so happy she got more to do this season; as much as I found her boring as the constantly complaining Landlady I love her now as a badass spy in training. Slightly worried that they’ll kill her off next season (as they do with helpful/decent people) and unsure how I feel about her and Katelbach -- knowing this show next time we’ll see the both of them it will be together in bed lol (you know how they just drop the fact that people bone)

I really like how they slowly introduced us to Nazis - in Season 1, they  focus on the nationalist movement apart from the NSDAP and now they slowly shift that focus and I think that mirrors the public perception of politics in the late 20s as you have so. many. different. parties. Jesus Lord

ugh the intro is GORGEOUS this time around

I also really liked the first scene! It felt so disorienting yet thrilling to be dropped in this huge fancy building and people just start killing themselves and it took me like... half the first episode to realise that it was supposed to be a flash forward to Black Thursday/Friday anyway I really like how they structure the first/last episodes 

“Love is the Drug” as the soundtrack for the same scene at the end of the last episode? chills. poetic cinema. I’m ready to be sad about the Great Depression next season lol

it’s so interesting how minor characters (the neighbour woman) get backstories/how they just show glimpses of their lives? more of that please

the introduction of the world of film and the press; we haven’t seen a lot of those in the first two seasons and when I think of the 20s and Weimar Germany in particular those cultural influences usually are what I think of first

yes! let Lotte find out about her past! maybe don’t give her a deadbeat dad tho lmao

Gräf is my son and I’m glad he survived this season (I wasn’t sure tbh) and ALSO I thought they were gonna make him crush on Gereon and I’m relieved to see they didn’t -- please just keep him and his bf safe and happy

Henning, Czerwinski and Lotte (and Gereon) are my favourite family of choice and I loved their interactions and I want them to solve 10000 crimes together 

soft Gennat is soft and now father to all gay characters on this show // what I meant to say is that the party at Gräf’s seemed lit and I want to go there

oh speaking about that party: the kiss 

as much as I am worried about how her character is going to work, I am also already in love with Marie-Luise and will seriously riot if they really pair her of with fucking WENDT

what I didn’t like

Vera was my daughter and deserved so much better, how dare they fridge the WLW

Greta deserved better but I think we all agree on that

Wendt is a BITCH 

ugh I cannot believe they really went in that direction with Toni -- I get that it is supposed to mirror Lotte’s adolescence (literally taking her coat) and that it’s inevitable blah blah but it was SO frustrating to watch. also I hope Tom Tykwer doesn’t think he’s slick just because they had Toni read from Bambi by Felix Salten whose other famous work was an anonymously published tale of a young child abuse victim turned sex worker ugh ugh ugh

the revelation who the Tagschläfer was seemed kinda obvious but lame at the same time? idk

Böhm and Helga are the most unlikeable characters on the “good” side fight me

I like the whodunnit structure of the season but I hate the reveal in ep 11 I am sorry it felt cheap af

the Armenian, his wife and Walter W should just solve their problem with a threesome

Gereon’s neglect of Helga felt a bit sudden and I feel like they could have focused on him and his brother a bit more since it was the big reveal of the end of season 2.... frustrating (when are Helga and Anno gonna meet tho I need that D R A M A)

I fucking hate the gory porn elements... like Charlotte doing that performance for money and Gräf being raped by the archive dude. I mean if you have to show us please also show the consequences because they just seem FINE after being abused and that feels so fundamentally wrong

I swear if they try to make Seegers seem reasonable or sympathic that’s a big NO from me

the last episode felt a bit too slow tbh I expected more action and drama

everything else

quite chilling to have Gereon pick up Mein Kampf from Moritz’s desk and have Emil and the Detectives lying underneath it - that’s he kind of smol detail I live for

I’m excited to see how far the timeline will take us. I originally thought they were going to stretch the show to the Machtergreifung in 1933 but as we are still in 1929 maybe they will just cover everything up until the end of the Great Coalition? I mean they already introduced Brüning, Papen and Schleicher so why not make use of them lmao. anyway seems like at least three more seasons are neccessary but on the other hand I have no idea what timeframe the books cover so don’t quote me on this

a poem by Theobald Tiger... please let Tucholsky show up and cast Kästner for the next season please do it for me personally

so in a nutshell: it was a fun but slightly incoherent and sometimes frustrating ride... Babylon Berlin works as a political thriller but not as a crime story imo

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: A Wedding

Masterpost

6x08: A Wedding

It’s kind of fitting that I’m writing this on the weekend that Darren and his lovely long time girlfriend/fiancee Mia are getting married.  It’s also Love, Love, Love week in the TDB rewatch, and I mean Valentine’s Day weekend (but eh I’ve never cared about that.)  

Anyway! ..  Alright guys - we’re here! The culmination of the entire Klaine arc -- right here and...  Alright, let’s be honest, this episode is, well, lacking.  Personally, I think they could have added another hour to the episode - fleshed out the reunion just a tad more, given Blaine’s mom an actual story, and maybe not tie Klaine and Brittana in a nice bow together (personally - Klaine eloping would have been an interesting route).  

But this is Glee.  And it was more interested in being propaganda for gay marriage.  And hey!! I’m totally here for all the gay marriage, and LGTB rights -- yes let’s do that!! But here... they sacrificed organic story for their message, which is mostly why I think this episode is disappointing.  It kind of forgot about the heart of the characters

High-End Barn Wedding

So - we kick off the episode with Wedding Planner!Kurt... so for all of you who wished Kurt had planned his own wedding, well -- he mostly did.  Actually, Artie is supposed to be the one who’s the wedding planner - but what has he really done?  Really? It seems fitting that Kurt would take over the job. 

While I don’t hate this episode (or even feel as disappointed by it) the way some of you do -- there are a few things I am sad we didn’t get with Klaine’s impromptu wedding shenanigans.  I would have loved to have seen some kind of bachelor party shenanigans -- complete with a return of Cooper to crash either Blaine’s or Kurt’s weddings.  I mean - how much fun would that have been?? Not to say that later, Cooper didn’t show up and throw some bachelor parties anyway after they got married. ;) 

So, here’s my first issue with the episode.  Kurt has a whole scene where he tries to calm down Brittany cause she’s freaking out and projecting her anxiety about getting married onto the little details of the barn set up.  (Huh - totally wish we could have seen pre-wedding neurotic Kurt, too.)  Kurt’s calm and collected and gets things going.  

Okay, what frustrates me is that in the script - IN THE SCRIPT - there’s a moment where Brittany lingers on more about Kurt and his called-off wedding, and Kurt gets a little dreamy about the wedding planning, etc, etc -- and honestly, this one section would have fixed, like, 90% of my issues.  See -- narratively speaking - Kurt needs a reason, a catalyst to run off and go see Blaine.  He doesn’t have one in the episode, which makes the whole reunion feel out of nowhere and jarring.  -- Likewise, in Love, Love, Love - the reunion was slightly out of nowhere, but at they at least alluded to it in a few lines and slightly set it up at the end of season 4.  

But this time around, episode 7, being totally Blaine focused doesn’t have room to give Kurt his ‘ah-ha!’ moment.  Which means there’s a link that’s not there.  It was in the script... and then they cut it out.  Why?? I don’t understand.  

So, if they didn’t want to go that dreamy over a wedding thing - they could have also give Brittany the chance to tell Kurt about Blaine and Karofsky splitting up -- which would also be a catalyst and cause Kurt to start running.  Mostly, though, this episode just isn’t well written.  **shrugs** 

Anyway - we get some awkward jokes from Brittany about Kurt’s ‘boyfriend’ being older than his dad.  Which is - ew.  But also I really don’t think Kurt is considering Walter his boyfriend, especially since Kurt just kinda doesn’t even acknowledge the comment.  Meanwhile, to prove this episode is just awkwardly written - there’s a joke in here where Brittany doesn’t know that Burt Hummel is Kurt’s dad.  But the set up is that Kurt calls his dad by his first name -- which he’s never done... ever.  Who would say their parents’ name instead of saying -- hey my dad could help?  

The details of this episode are... just not good, which is truly the unfortunate thing.  

Run, Kurt, Run

So -- without any kind of set-up this scene feels... well... a little awkward, so let’s pretend Kurt has reason to feel that he and Blaine are actually going to the wedding together (there’s nothing missing from the script that sets it up either, btw.)  

Basically - he’s doing the mature thing of telling Walter first that it’s over -- not that there was much to end, honestly.  Obviously, he’s been talking to Walter about the Brittana wedding - enough so that Walter thinks they’re getting tuxes or something, (he’s really kind of assuming here) but Kurt says straight up - no, he’s going with Blaine.  And the subtext here is --- hey it’s been fun, but I’m totally getting back together with my ex -- as if I haven’t talked about him enough, he totally kissed me, like, a week ago, and I came back here to get him, and I think we’re ready to be ‘on’ again, so you’re a nice dude, Walter - but I’m going in the direction I’m supposed to be.  

Walter doesn’t seem shocked or surprised or even hurt that this is all going down.  We get a lovely speech about young love and how Kurt should feel lucky that he gets to be in his youth to experience young (gay) love.  And, I mean.... it’s a nice speech and all, but it feels more like older gay talking to younger gay about how he wishes he could have been wiser in his youth to run towards love.  And an other example where the episode leans in to the idea of ‘gay marriage good’ rather than showing us how it can be good by organically letting these couples have their moments.  Oh show... 

The part I do like about Walter’s speech, however, is the advice he gives Kurt (which is actually similar to Brittany’s only taken in a different direction).  He tells Kurt to go live, get hurt, get back up again, hang on to love, and, well, god I’m going to say it, don’t stop believing.  And it almost feels like this is something that Kurt’s been waiting to hear for a while -- this kid has placed a protective shield around his heart for a long, long, long time now and he’s ready to be fully open with it again.  He’s ready to let Blaine in fully -- and this is the reason I’m fine with the wedding being so soon after the reunion (even if the narrative is super awkward).  

This whole journey from mid-season three to now has been about growing up, and figuring out how to be adults in love, and understanding that being in an adult relationship is different than the fairy tale their relationship started out being.  And I love that concept -- love it! Even if I think how they told it is bumpy, awkward, and lacking a few key moments.  

So -- in a mirror to the scene where Blaine and Karofsky split up (yeah - this “break up” is definitely the same kind of sentiment) Kurt starts running to go find Blaine... 

Alright - so while this little reunion scene is rushed, I do like the urgency of it.  From the moment Kurt runs in the door - he’s all, I love you, I’ve always loved you, I want and need you -- right now.  He’s anxious - because he’s completely being emotionally honest right now -- and that’s not something Kurt really ever does.  Blaine’s a little shocked at this development - but he’s been ready, too, so hey let’s just confirm we’re back together and call it good.  (And yes, they probably had sex right then and there with the door open - because TV logic, but also because they just need to be with each other right now, and the talky stuff can wait until after the physical release.) 

So.  This idea that they get back together without solving their issues... here’s what I want to say about that.  First of all -- Kurt has his one line of -- ‘I know everything was a mess before but now it’s not’.  And, yeah, that does kind of wallpaper over things nicely - but I’ll argue that it’s also true.  They had to work a lot on themselves this time around and they did that (mostly between season 5 and 6, actually).  Kurt -- who sometimes runs away from the emotionally difficult situations (he broke it off with Blaine because he feared emotionally difficult would lead to something that can’t be fixed) has now run back into Blaine’s arms, knowing well that his heart will get bruised in what will be their long relationship -- but like the advice he gave to Blaine last season, it’s about trust, and he trusts himself that it’ll be okay.  

Look - they’re always going to have issues, because every couple does.  They’re always going to have things to work on and work through -- because that’s real.  They aren’t two kids in a fairy tale relationship anymore, they’re two adults understanding what being in an adult relationship really means.  And yeah, Glee could have fleshed this moment out, could have Kurt and/or Blaine explicitly say that - but you know? They really didn’t need to.  

They fixed themselves in the early episodes of this season, the elevator gave them their friendship back, along with the ability to be with each other in an enclosed space, and Transitioning demonstrated that the spark is (as it always was) still there.  So all they had to do was ditch the plot devices boyfriends and commit to each other.  

And I do love this little moment, as Blaine just is like ‘fuck it’ and goes in for the kiss.  While Kurt relaxes into his arms, finally able to reach the goal he set out for himself in the beginning of the season.  My only “issue” with this scene is that they could have let it breath a little longer -- let the kiss be a little longer as they begin to enjoy each other again.  But because this is Glee, and five million things going on, it’s cut away from very quickly.  

American Gothic

So - according to, um, something this cute little moment was just Chris and Darren screwing around.  I’m not gonna meta Klaine and American Gothic (the name of the famous painting in case you didn’t know.)  

Instead - I’ll take a moment to talk about Blaine’s mom.  Again, in the script, more stuff about her -- the reason she’s there was to do Brittana’s make-up (and, you know, be apart of the the mom’s group number).  It’s hinted that Blaine’s dad left her and Cooper says hi.  Geez.  I also think it’s super weird that she hasn’t met Carol -- but did the writers give a shit? Nope, I just feel bad for Gina Gershon who is a lovely actress and they could have done so much with her, but instead do virtually nothing.  I mean she and Blaine don’t even get a scene together.  Ah well.  

This scene is also, well, awkwardly written.  Does Burt not know that they’re back together? (I find that hard to believe.)  The prep work for this scene just don’t make much sense.  Okay -- who was this written by? Hmm staff writer Ross Maxwell who’s been there since season three.  He wrote Dance With Somebody, but also Previously Unaired Christmas and Sweet Dreams.  This was directed by Bradley Beucker who did a lot of the big Klaine episodes, so I can’t even place fault there.  Idk - this episode’s details are just so jarringly off, and there’s enough of them that it does take me out of the story a little bit. 

Alright, so beyond my complaining about awkward set ups.  Kurt gets told for the second time in fifteen minutes that he’s got to squeeze life to the fullest.  You can’t predict what’s gonna happen next -- death, hardship, etc, etc, so live your best life, whatever that might be.  Burt (hilariously) blames his philosophizing on there being a wedding, but Glee’s season 6 meta kick is still firmly here.  

The thing I love about Kurt here though as he listens to his dad (and Carole) ramble on... he’s so happy and relaxed and reflective.  Being together with Blaine again has just put his life back on track again.  He is where he’s supposed to be and for the first time since the season started - he’s smiling and wistful and I love this kind of zen Kurt.  But he’s also paying attention to his dad, too.  This is all obvious set up for Kurt’s decision to get married on the spot, but it’s a nice sentiment, too -- that yeah, take a leap of faith - because you never know how long you’ll have the chance to do so. 

Legit Brittan-emergency

I like the first few seconds of this scene - where they’re just casually chatting about the wedding while holding hands.  They’ve been (nicely) not separated since they got back together, and I like this underlying theme that they want to have close physical contact as much as possible cause they missed quite a lot of that over the summer.  

Anyway - Sue storms in and ruins the moment - and they aren’t playing dumb again! They won’t be getting locked in an elevator in a barn in Indiana so Sue can force them to have sex.  Nope - that’s for the fic writers ;) 

She’s got something else in mind... 

Hey... at least she used the their season 6 (?) promo pics and not the creepy version she had in her hurt locker.  It’s hard to say when Brittany got involved.  I’d say the moment Sue walked in with the tuxes and the stand-ups.  But Brittany claims she had this figured out while planning the wedding - which explains her kinda weird passive-aggressive attitude towards Kurt in the first scene, but since half of it was on the cutting room floor, it’s hard to buy here.  But, you know, Santana’s gonna be okay with it and Brittany stops time with her mind, so you can figure the timeline out yourselfs on that one.  

So, let’s break this down a little, shall we?  After Brittany gets through her rambling about Klaine being role models (sure...) Sue jumps in and continues to break the fourth wall.  Yeah -- she manipulated and kidnapped them, but she is... not us in this instant, but the writers.  Because that’s what writers do -- we torture our characters so that they can have the happy ending we want to give them.  

However, the Doylist view is not a favorite among many, so I’ll say - I’m not excusing Sue for her behavior.  Don’t manipulate and kidnap people... it’s not nice and can be pretty hurtful.  So - no, I’m not condoning Sue’s actions -- just explaining how Sue’s outside the narrative completely at this point.  

I know a lot of people didn’t like this whole idea of Kurt (and Blaine) being what feels like forced to get married.  And I will say this -- no one was forced to get married.  No one was coerced.  And had the script done its job correctly (I mean it tried - within the Walter and Burt speeches respectively) Kurt (and Blaine) being thrown an impromptu wedding would have felt much more organic.  But this is Glee... in a world where real life rules don’t always apply.   

I will say... had Kurt not wanted to - he would have flat out said no.  No one has ever pushed Kurt Hummel around, least of all Sue and Brittany.  In no way, shape, or form did anyone force Kurt to get married.  And I really would like to make that clear -- there’s always a choice.  

So - here’s the thing... Kurt’s mind is spinning.  Things like this, this is crazy.  His entire life, he’s tried to plan out to be perfect, and it’s always kind of blown up in his face.  At the same time, life has always made him struggle, and now he gets the chance to have something nice -- and that’s... unexpected in the least.  

Let’s hear his arguments...  

This is crazy -- because it is.  Who shares their wedding with someone else just for the hell of it? No one - because that is ridiculous. 

He and Blaine just got back together -- but Kurt isn’t that concerned about this part of it, because he does know he and Blaine are forever.  He’s beginning to get giddy with the idea here, but no - logic still prevails. It’s not that he and Blaine just got back together that’s the issue... it’s that Santana wouldn’t let them. But, eh, no, Santana’s gonna let things go cause plot.  

He then says the following... It’s romantic.  Sweet.  And a little weird.  Not -- I hate this idea.  Not, it’s not going to work.  Not, I don’t like these kind of surprises and I feel threatened.  No, he’s smiling and excited and his mind is reeling at the prospect.  He’s trying to be (semi-)logical about this, but his big, romantic heart is winning out.  

Kurt says there’s no possible way they can get married, and looks to Blaine for confirmation... 

Meanwhile, Blaine’s in the background.  He’s a little timid, because he’s the one who never stopped wanting to be married.  His only line is (lamely) about the rings, which Sue has covered.  Honestly, I would have asked about the marriage license, but I’m sure Sue has one of those already forged as well.  

But the thing is - when it comes down to it, Blaine’s ready -- he’s always been ready, and he’s just waiting for Kurt to finally, finally say yes.  We get them holding hands, as Blaine stutters his way through an awkward speech.  And then we cut to commercial....

Ug.  

No really, why did this have to be an act break cliffhanger? Again, this writing! You could have had Blaine give a nice speech about being ready, and just waiting for Kurt and being okay with whatever they choose to do... and then Kurt could say that he does, indeed want to be married to Blaine.  It’d have been a nice romantic moment here that... well, is no left to fanfic writers, I suppose.  I also think it might have helped give Kurt some agency some felt he was lacking in this scene.  

In addition, there is a nice wrap around moment - Kurt says in the series premiere during the break up scene - maybe he doesn’t want to get married.  Now he’s faced with that choice again, and it comes full circle.  Well... maybe in fact, he does... 

I will say... the end of the scene, Kurt’s not scared Blaine will say he wants to get married and he’ll be forced into it.  He wants to see if Blaine really does, because if he does -- Kurt’s given his choice.  He’s scared, but also thrilled, because he could be given a pass to indulge on this huge romantic moment. 

At Last 

The moment Kurt comes on screen, we know his choice has been made, and look how he has this happy-drunk look on his face.  As soon as Blaine said (off screen) that he wants to be married, Kurt probably snapped to and bam! let the romance happy-times begin.  He knows -- based on all his previous experiences - that marriage won’t be an easy thing.  He does.  But now is their time to have a wonderful and lovely start to their marriage (and free!!) why not take this leap? 

Anyway, I kind of love that he gets to walk with Brittany.  They’ve got an interesting history together - and are both special unicorns, and I love that they get this little aisle walking moment together.  

Meanwhile - let’s talk about the song At Last, beautifully sung by Mercedes and Artie.  Klaine’s season 6 story, again being told not in songs that they’ve sung.  This song is very them - and was originally going to be used during their car makeout session back in I Do, but I’m glad they saved it for here.  It does fit Klaine, Brittana, and the whole gay marriage thing nicely.  

Look at this bb waiting for his future husband to walk up the aisle.  Again, I love how happy Kurt is! How relaxed! He even looks younger in this scene, because, c’mon, when’s the last time he’s been /this/ happy??  (Totally, btw, not the face of someone who doesn’t really want to be up there ;)) Kurt Hummel is getting married - and he is fucking excited about every last ounce of it.  

Burt’s Speech = Gay Marriage Good and worth fighting for!!  (I’m so glad they legalized it the summer after this was out) 

I do like that in Burt’s speech, however, he does mention, again, some sentiments he did back in Love, Love, Love -- marriage is freakin’ hard.  But it’s worth it if you keep working at it.  

Oh - which probably brings me to another issue people had.  All season Kurt keeps reiterating that they’re too young to get married.  (And yeah, ngl, they are - and I really didn’t need this in my Klaine story)  But two thoughts on this  

1 - Kurt was holding on to the too young thing as an excuse for the other issues they were having... yeah, he didn’t want Finchel to get married because they were too young, but also definitely not ready.  Kurt’s been through a ton, and at this moment, knows he and Blaine are committed to each other, so why not make it official -- especially since they are gay, and now can get married, it is a big deal.  

2. I’ve talked a lot about Klaine being a fairy tale - and, while I don’t believe the story stops once you get married, and also believe Klaine was spiritually married back in Love, Love, Love, their story remains being framed as a fairy tale, and this is the happy ending, so narratively, it does all make sense. 

The vows.  Yeah, um, okay.  So - my biggest issue here is that they’re all spliced together.  This speech, kind of, doesn’t work - I mean, Santana says she’s been bullied? Really? They’re trying to tie both narratives together and tie that in with the theme of ‘gay marriage good’ and ug, c’mon.  They could have nicely had one couple go and then the other, and it could have been a little more personalized.  But whatever.  

I will say! I think Kurt has the best lines, though.  I love, love that he talks about being someone who always walked in the dark, and that Blaine did not force him into the light, but tore the stuff down that covered the sun.  It’s really a beautiful notion - and one that says just how much Kurt loves, appreciates, and wants Blaine in his life.  He’s always walked on his path on his own, but he doesn’t want to be alone anymore - Blaine is vital to him, and he always wants Blaine there to help him through.  

I also like the sentiment that they’re a work in progress.  It’s a nice nod to the fact that it isn’t the end of the story (while it is mostly for Klaine and absolutely for Brittana).  

(Also - possibly shallow side note - Chris and Darren are just way better actors than Naya and especially Heather, and putting them side by side is a little jarring, too.  Oops.) 

Because touch and holding hands has always been a part of their narrative... 

Old Marrieds... 

Happy Big-Ass Double Gay Wedding! 

Was it everything you ever wanted? Meh, no, but I’ve never been a fan of weddings in general - and nothing was gonna be able to top the proposal anyway.  This is where the whole double wedding with a theme of social progression got in the way - because I think it stripped both couples (a little) of their own personalized story.  But it was fine, and did what it needed to do.  And Klaine got their happily ever after. 

OTP

Yes, Kurt’s face is how I feel about (most of) the rest of the episode.  We could have gotten a nice moment between Blaine and his mom - instead we get a full minute of Brittany’s dad being awkward and weird and unnecessary.  

So, then Santana goes into this whole speech about OTPs.  Omg... I know some people got uncomfortable with the fourth wall breaking in The Hurt Locker (both parts) but here I get a little squicky.  Who uses otp in real life? And Santana has hats, god... 

But, that aside, Kurt’s face is loving and happy when Santana mentions that he and Blaine have found each other - and it’s sweet and nice.  And... omg, you can tell they’re back together again because to the background my lovely couple -- we’re playing by season 3 rules again! 

No, okay my biggest issue -- bigger than the whole they don’t really get a first dance thing - is that they don’t get a moment to reflect -- at all -- about getting married.  And this is kind of a trend -- they get together in Original Song, do they really get to reflect on that? Eh.. not really.  What about their first time in The First Time?? Nope - they don’t speak about sex again for a long, long time.  What about getting engaged??? Eh, not really anything on that -- so I shouldn’t expect anything.  But man - it would have been nice if they had one private moment together just so they can have that one private moment together to revel in the fact that they are married and together-together.  

(so, now we’re to two scenes this episode is missing for Klaine - shoulda been a two hour long episode...) 

Instead of anything meaningful, we’re going to have songs now because we’re contractually obligated at this point to do something in this music-related show.  (god, does this episode shoehorn in the music).  I am kinda laughing at HeYa, though, cause it’s so, so meta.  I’m also incredibly glad there was never a song Called CrissColfer.  

Why didn’t Kurt, Blaine or Santana get to dance during this song though? Boo...At least they’re in the background...?  Oh wait, they do at the end? And Blaine kinda dances with his mom, while Kurt dances with Carol? I mean, it’s kinda cute, but I’m still rolling my eyes a little. 

And then we get more songs! This time the Treble Tones bring up the Moms for - I’m So Excited. I mean, I get it - if you’re gonna have Gloria Estefan on and not have her sing, it’s a bit ridiculous.  But, ngl, I’m a little bored by this one.   And it’s essentially two in a row (though the unnecessary Tina proposes to Mike plot happens in between).  Kurt freaking out over Carole going crazy is kinda cute, but not enough to help the second half of this episode from being bogged down in musical numbers that feel obligatory. 

We close out the reception-of-no-plot with Our Day Will Come.  I like the little intro, where Kurt gets giddy about calling Blaine his ‘husband’.  And it’s a sweet thank you to Brittany and Santana for letting them do the thing.  But..  

Okay, this is where I would have wanted, maybe... a more romantic song, sung by someone else, so that Klaine could slow dance.  That was, like, the one thing I wanted in the second half of the episode, and I didn’t get it.  I am a little sad about it.  But at least they get to sing and look lovingly at each other?  

This song is... fine.  I’m surprised they hadn’t done this particular quartet before.  It’s got a nice 60′s island beach theme going on.  And it’s... again... a gay marriage = good song.  It’s not really about Klaine or Brittana, it’s about gay people getting married.  And - really, I promise, I am so happy that everyone is now able to get married here in the U.S.  I want all the gay rights (and all the rest of the letters, too).   But, c’mon, guys, you can sell that without being explicit -- these characters meant enough to enough people that just by them getting married and having a normal and organic way of things, it would have sold your message just fine without having to hit us over the head again with it.  

There is a little bit of the lyrics I’d like to pull out though... 

Kurt with Blaine: Our dreams have magic Because we'll always stay In love this way

If you’d like to know how the writers think this romance will play out... well, then, there ya go... and the show’s now over, so this is the way they’ll always be in our hearts.  :) 

The Gender Gentle AnderHummels

So, this is perhaps my favorite scene in the episode, and not just because of Kurt in that Kitten sweater.   I think it’s because it’s the only scene in the episode that breathes a little, and allows both couples not to be saddled with the weight of carrying a HUGE MESSAGE of a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE - but about these two couples being themselves.  It’s also the only time we really get to see Married Klaine interacting outside the tiny bit we get in the series finale.  

Sue’s there to give them their honeymoon packages -- (oh Sue, meddling still in their plans...) And it’s okay that you guys only get a weekend versus Britanna’s month in the Bahamas... Brittana doesn’t get any more screen time, and you guys only get your one episode off.  So, there’s that.  

But then we get this little tag at the end (complete with season 2 scoring!) where Klaine and Brittana get a moment to themselves.  I like that Blaine says that he can’t believe they got married, while Kurt is totally not fazed by that at all, and instead is amazed they survived the reception.   (I’m sure the two of them snuck out early)  

But then there’s this moment, where Kurt reaches behind him, automatically, for Blaine’s hand and they both look so, so happy.  There was a big post going around for a while with intensive meta on it about this single moment, and man, I wish I could remember what it said, because it probably summarized it much better than I can.  Beyond the whole hand holding thing -- again, the two are just so comfortable with each other - having found each other, and having made a life long commitment.  

And, here’s why I think getting married wasn’t such a bad thing for this narrative.  The ring is a symbol.  And that somewhat toxic downward cycle the two of them can get into now gets reversed.  Blaine is secure in his relationship, and of being loved, as well as being able to be out on his own, not relying on Kurt entirely, and because of that, he doesn’t get clingy or insecure, which in turn gives Kurt the breathing room he needs, and when Kurt is feeling not closed in, he becomes affectionate and open and will continue to reach for Blaine’s hand, and marriage is a reminder (to both) that they have to keep on working because they’ve made the commitment.  (This was a horribly worded paragraph, sorry)  

But my point is - they are now secure as individuals and secure in their relationship, and while, yes, I needed a few more scenes to flesh out and have the story make full sense, I’m happy to have this last scene that kind of encompasses everything together and puts the nice bow on it.  They are both so, so happy and relaxed and in love in this scene, and it’s amazing because of it.  

And yes - Brittany will probably call them on their anniversary every year (I kinda love the meta of that -- that Klaine and Brittana are always tied together now), but they’ll probably only see each other once every five-ish years or so.  Their lives will go on and they’ll grow up further and away from each other.  But, their love is all tied up together, and it’s a happy moment for both couples.  

So yeah, that’s the wedding episode! It feels... slightly anticlimactic for as big as the series long story was -- but you know, even with all the scenes I’d have wanted in it, I’m not sure if it’d ever had been fully satisfying.   And, you know, it’s true what they say about it being about the journey not just the ending.  But, you know, they still got married, and the story still is something we’re talking about, and I still love that it kind of marries the idea of the fairy tale with a real relationship.   

And, I’m a little sorry this is the end for Brittana, because it does feel, in a lot of ways, like a penultimate episode.  Brittana is now done (which is another reason I think they got the bulk of the episode) but Klaine’s story has room for a little more in the final episodes - and I’m glad they get to have their nice little coda.  

[ask-anyone-from-the-tick]

Bellow the cut are my spoilery thoughts after watching season 2 of the Tick

I’m kind of glad Dot turned out to have a super power because being the only hero with no powers is sort of Arthur’s whole thing. I also like that she didn’t outshine Overkill and just step over him, but still looks up to him a bit and appreciates his approval. They feel like equals, and he’s still an awkward turtle socially.

THEY WERE SO CUDDLY AND AWKWARD ON THE COUCH, Overkill is def the kind of guy who can’t move if there’s a pet on his lap. He’s so soft I can’t...

I LOVE that we get to see more of Joan and her relationship to her family, she’s awesome and I love and support her. She’s just doing her best, and I hope those lobster babies come to visit.

Superian and Larry’s relationship continues to baffle me just a bit. Larry seems to just be a willing servant to cater to his whims I guess. I kinda hoped they were more buddy buddy than that. Apparently it makes Superian feel better to toss him way up and catch him lawl

The way Hobbs reacted when Tick broke the arm wrestling machine thing makes me wonder if Tick is actually the strongest superhero in the world, maybe second only to Superian ??? Or at least the strongest ever registered with AEGIS.

I really, REALLY like Sage. He’s fantastic. He’s also really attractive, is it just me? DAT VOICE THO. [take me on a wild nipple ride! jk omg I’m sorry]

That twin woman who was impressed with Arthur’s nerdy organization came off as REALLY OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and his reaction was to just shrug it off like he wasn’t in to her, even though she was gorgeous, and Tick immediately picked up on it that she was flirting and got DEFENSIVE AS HELL like she was taking Arthur away and I just-- that’s pretty gay guys. That’s really... wow. And then she comes back and continues to hit on Arthur and he never once acts like he’s in to her, I don’t... I don’t know what to say but if Arthur suddenly starts pining over her in season 3 out of no where I’m gonna kms [not because he’s not gay but because it’s pretty clear he’s not interested in this woman. Don’t establish this and then force romance after we’ve seen there’s none.] Also when Arthur was picking out fancy clothes Tick had REALLY specific fashion descriptions and opinions on what looked good on him. He was like enjoying Arthur modeling clothes ajdlfdjas

Someone needs to draw Overkill being lovingly rescued by dolphins STAT

I honestly, unironically, think Edgelord’s entire look is cool and he’s very handsome. I think he looks like if Johnny Depp and Adam Driver had a baby.

SUPERIAN FEARS THE TUMBLRS. We’re his kryptonite. 

Dangerboat... plane... whatever he is, kinda deserved a little more attention toward the last half of the season. The episode centered around him was the most emotional and it brought everyone together more, I really dug that. It made me cry. ALSO WE STAN MICHAEL, HE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. I’m so proud of Arthur for seeing Dangerboat more as a person and making an effort to connect to him as a friend. <3 good job Arthur-- at the same time--

I HATE they way Arthur acted like Dot has a specific thing she should or shouldn’t be that was out of character. It’s like the writers wanted the female character to undergo some sort of oppression to rise up against, some form of misogyny from her male family member that she had to point out. You shouldn’t have to tear down a good character because he’s male, to make the female look good. If misogyny was gonna come out of Arthur, let it come out another way other than “this isn’t want you’re supposed to do” like mother fucker, she’s been taking care of you your whole life, she’s done martial arts training, she’s a paramedic, she is way more qualified than you. He’s the last person to talk that way to anyone and it’s pissing me the fuck off. He’s the one struggling with mental illness and no phyical ability to fight anyone, it makes no sense.

Arthur’s actor Griffin Newman, he just does such a fantastic job. The whole undercover scene was so perfectly on pitch, like... just the right level of second hand embarrassment and pride came outta me. He was so close to  blowing it because he’s an anxious person by nature, but he pulled it off and came off more as just an awkward criminal with tons of money that was just believably nerdy. I loved it, it was so funny. Please give him all the awards. And that scene where Tick is on one side of Lint, way too close to her, and Arthur is on the other, and they just work her forking nerves was so hysterical. I died. I think they need to play up that comedic chemistry more often because Tick and Arthur bounce off each other really well when they’re not busy trying to solve serious problems. 

Ok so the whole human furniture thing caught my eye immediately. The pose we are first introduced to is an infamaously disturbing pose by a real life serial killer who ate people and posed their bodies in weird positions and used them for sex and I forget what else. Anyway I tried to brush that off as coincidence, but then later on Dot and Overkill go to where they think this Duke guy’s lair is, and his house looks exactly like John Podesta’s house that had a statue of that EXACT same serial killer’s victim in that pose, and podesta’s walls were covered in creepy pedo art of little girls and drowning women. And the walls of Duke’s lair were covered in creepy human furniture art. I mean there are all kinds of parodies this season that are in your face, but I don’t think anyone who didn’t follow pizzagate carefully would catch this one.

Speaking of parodies OMFG I lost it when Superian reenacted that Superman scene where he’s like “Can you read my mind?” as he’s dragging the screaming guy across the night sky. 

Ugh, I’m so sad that Tick and Arthur don’t get to keep those precious baby lobsters, and where did they get all the cute toys?? I wanna think Joan picked those up for them. Kawaii lobster voice: “Joaaan!” Tick is such a good dad...  A family can be a giant Tick man, a moth boy, a hobo, a mimaw, and a bunch of singing lobsters. "SHE'S THE MOTHER OF OUR CHILDREN!" Tick drinks respect woman lobster mom juice.

I think I don’t know what to make of the reverse Green Goblin twist going on with Ms. Lint. The creepy voice is telling her to become a hero I guess, but not really? I think the joke is we think it’s telling her to be a hero, but really it’s teaching her to be a  better villain LMAO

I’m glad kevin has a power and he was welcomed to come help even before said power was revealed.-- woah wait where tf is Karamozov?? I gotta tweet his actor he loves this show and he wasn’t in this season ???

I don’t blame Dot for being upset they want to defrost The Terror, but at the same time due process is a thing. I don’t know how that would work in a society full of super powers though. Because the moment you defrost him he’s going to find a way to escape. He’s the oldest, and the worst super villain of all time. This is why I’m ok with the death penalty and killing villains lol

I was expecting Walter to be some sort of MK Ultra sleeper agent, but the plot twist was, that’s what Overkill would become I guess. And Lobstercules. OH BTW I think she’s voiced by the same actress who played Captain Liberty in the old Tick sitcom! “Walter isn’t Walter? My feet don’t feel so good.” Aw Tick

Ty Rathbone drinks respect mothers juice.

Acting agent commander doctor agent Hobbs, honestly I suspected he was the main villain like the moment he was headed toward Lobstercules because something about the lighting and the camera work seemed to telegraph that.

I bet the reason Ty Rathbone feeds his black hole heart monster mice, is because it requires frequent blood sacrifice and that's the smallest sacrifice he can think of that he can quickly just put in there and placate it and go on with his day. I don’t know if he’ll be season 3′s villain or if it’s the aliens that just came back to reclaim Superian. 

Which btw, I called that shit from season 1 episode 1. Superian showed up crash landing inside Big Bismuth which is the only thing that could trap him. He was a prisoner, probably because he did some bad shit, and he told Arthur he helps humanity because he just wants to be a good person. Like he wasn’t one before and now he wants to try to be one.

I want to talk about these, nearly involuntary dance parties Overkill rewards himself with... but I uh... I still can’t compute that that’s actual canon. That that’s a thing Overkill and Dangerboat enjoy together and he... he can’t seem to control himself when the music plays... And also that Dot AND Overkill both know how to floss dance... I just... wow...

Oh and that hug with Overkill made me an emotional mess, he just... he really needed that, thank you Dot.

This concludes my rant and ramble.

[sevi007]

THE VALENTINE BROTHERS SEVI. I DIDNT THINK THAT JAN WAS SO /gestures/ THAT IN THE REAL SERIES BUT HE IS AND IM DYING. The freaking, Konami code. I'm so happy. And WALTER, BEING A BADASS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Poor Seras tho..... Her bed ;u; give the girl her bed back.... (This has turned into a spam live blogging I'm so sorry;;)

Okay so I’m on episode 5 since ive been binging so hard and I am a concern its all gone to hell Sevi. London is fucked and i am worried about walter hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. vanwinke was really great tho. Also why does the scythe wielding person have to be a Nazi they’re so hot /sobs/             

HOLY CRAP THE MASSIVELY UNIMPRESSED LOOK ON INTEGRA’S FACE AS ANDERSON AND HIS CREW GO NUTS HAS ME SOBBING. Integra for biggest bamf alive holy he’ll. They’re a going nuts and shes just ‘having fun there I’m guessing?’ With the most bored and unimpressed expression. What a legend

Okay so has Maxwell always been this insane. Like. He’s literally starting a new crusade to murder all the people ever like. Im. The only one around him with any sanity is the little bowl cut kid that give him the papers. Alucard on that ship has me mentally singing back in black. He’s coming back to start a party. Also Integra giving zero fucks has me living. The cigar scene is so hilarious. They fear her power, too strong. And JFC ANDERSON, SAVAGELY BURNED YOUR OWN PEOPLE HOLY CRAP.     

Holy only did the scythe person invest all their skill points in illusion magic or something omg. And my girl Seras being the biggest BADASS!!!            

I now rescind what I said aboud the scythe person. No longer hot and I’m no longer sad that theyre a naiz. Rest in hell you sack of garbage. Stupid ass hand magic. You did my girl, and pip dirty. Also also, me @ this series in general: go to hell you did not need to do that to my soul. Why did you make me love these mercs and then do this to me. Why. Pip…. Why are you so loveable… I am also even more concerned about walter (I’m on ep 7 btw)      

Yep scythe person opinion is infinity rescinded. Gonna stab them personally.   

I am not okay. PIP YOU ASSHOLE WHAT THE HELL WHY. YOU JUST HAD TO GO FOR THE KISS TO MAKE THINGS EVEN MORE PAINFUL   

Oh wow Seras has a berserker rage mode holy shit and FUCKING DAMMIT PIP YOU GOOD MAN I HATE AND LOVE YOU YOU DEUS EX LAST SECOND AAAAAGGGGRRRRAASSSGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS SERIES IS KILLING ME                

 Maxwell is really just murdering everyone eh? While the major stand like a conductor on his blimp. I cannot wait until our home group turns them into mulch.                            

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID THEY DO TO WALTER WHAT DID THEY DO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA        

Holy shit one million respect points to Anderson for calling Maxwell out on his shit. What the hell I love Anderson so much he’s such a good. ALSO THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN THE BOY IS BACK IN TOWN /guitar solo/ It’s all gone insanse and im having the best and worst time hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhb       

Oh man shits getting real Alucard is about to to absolutely beast mode I can feel it. He’s saying the bird of Hermes stuff             

OH BABY HE HAS PEOPLE BACK FROM THE DEAD WHAT HOT DAMN IT’S ALL GONE INSANSE ALUCARD HAS EATEN SO MANY PEOPLE OMG. WHAT THE SHIT HES SO HOT NOW. You know I should have seen this twist coming, his real identity and all but like. They’re so different wtf. This has gone off the rails in the best of ways                 

Wow Maxwell’s death… Almost hurt????? Damn dude. Also Anderson is just. Really good. I love him so much now.    

Damn this fight between alucard and Anderson is so good holy shit and they’re having such fun it looks like??? This is so fun I’m loving it. Anderson has gone a bit nuts tho. And I have a bad feeling          

I MUST REITERATE, WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO WALTER. WHAT THE FUCK. NO.    

They should rename Anderson to the human slap chop at this rate. He’s so determined it’s incredible. AND HIS BACKUP STAYED AWWWWWWWWWW Aannnd I think they’re naruto running I am sobbing over this. Also i wanna punch the major in the face. Make him eat my fist.         

What the actual fuck is happening I don’t. I’m so confused and upset Sevi. Why did this have to happen. (Okay one episode to go I think)    

Everything has gone incredibly wrong and I don’t like it. Alucard and Seras are on fire and Anderson has just done whatever the fuck he did???? AND NOW ALUCARD HAS JUST GONE BEAST MODE??? I CAN’T. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO CALM DOWN.    

NO ALUCARD IS SOBBING NOW WHY BOO. DAMMIT ANDERSON WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. ALUCARD IS A DEPRESSED ASSHOLE ANDERSON STOP TAUNTING HIM. THIS SERIES NEEDS TO STOP HURTING ME                             

WHAT THE FUCK WHY ANDERSON STOP THIS YOU’RE HURTING ME       

I am in pain     

WALTER WHAT THE FUCK       

FUCKING NAZIS BRAINWASHED WALTER OR WHATEVER I’M SO MAD

JFC WALTER WHAT KIND OF ATTITUDE ARE YOU COPPING NOW YOU BITCH   

WALTER WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU DOING, WHY HAVE YOU TURNED INTO AN EDGY MURDRY EMO          

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW    

 Man Integra and Seras are a pair of badasses. I’m so set for them to kill the major. Also the high coat guy intrigues me. I wanna know what his deal is. Is he a werewolf. I feel like he is. Also what’s up with that long ass pistol. That can’t be practical. YEP HE IS A WOLF THINGY I WAS RIGHT. Alucard is just summoning a tsunami of blood now. Alrighty then. And now I am worried since the major is happy about that.

Oh damn the captain guy is a big ass wolf. And also, I am very concern about Alucard. PIP YOU BACK FROM THE DEAD AGAIN JACKASS I LOVE YOU GO BEST TAG TEAM EVER!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

THE CAPTAIN IS HELPING HIS FOES WHAT. THIS WOLF MAN IS SO STRANGE I LIKE HIM

PIP MANIFESTED????? THE FUCK???? IM???? AND THE WOLF GUY WAS HAPPY TO DIE????? IM???????? SHIT?????? THIS HURTS?????

Wow cheating asshole major with his glass box. I want him to die. AND HE’S GONNA DO WHAT?????? OH FUCK THE CAT GUY I AM A FRIGHTEN

I am so worried and don’t like this.

Wow now I feel kinda bad for Walter. I mean, I’m still mad at him but. I want to major to die. Can I stab him. Please

OH BOY I DON’T LIKE THIS

Oh no he’s stuck in different realities now isn’t he fuck

Oh no    

HAH AT LEAST THE DOCTOR DIED. GET FUCKED. Fuck did they desecrate a woman’s bones I am so lost now. I am too tired for this. DAMMIT WALTER STOP MAKING ME FEEL THINGS YOU ASS. I need to lay down this hurts too much. Everyone’s dead and I am in pain. And kinda nauseous from it. OH SHIT THAT ONE VATICAN PERSON WHO WAS SHOT DIDN’T DIE. SJDJDJSJSISUD INTEGRA LYING TO PENWOODS GRANDSON IM DYING. Fuck I am in pain. And-FUCKER IS HE BACK. STOP TOYING WITH ME SERIES. STOP THIS. I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD                                                                                                                                                             

Okay, so, for people wondering: That were 41 asks right there. Quick apology to mobile users, but I had to collect all these, this, this is awesome. Ti, you mad person, did you freaking watch all of the series in one sitting?! XD I love you dude. I just had the time of my life reading through this.

To point a few things out in answer to this:

1) Integra is the most badass in this entire series, you got that absolutely right

2) Walter was NOT brainwashed, a fact he was very adamant about. He decided on his very own that he wanted to betray Hellsing so that he would get a fair chance in fighting Alucard (something he had wanted to do for fifty years) since he’s a vampire hunter and Alucard is THE vampire, and Walter just… misses the battlefield? After staying a simple Butler for all this time. Millenium merely gave him vampire powers so he could revert to younger years so that he may have a chance fighting Alucard.

3) Yes you may stab the Major, go for it

4) The captain wanted to die, so he helped Seras and Pip out by giving them silver (kills werewolves) and laughing in his death. It seems as if he was immortal otherwise and had little chance to disobey Millenium, so he took the only way out he had.

5) The woman’s bones you see there in the end is Mina Harker, a character from Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Apart from Seras, she’s the only known woman Alucard ever turned into a vampire - also important to note that he loved her, to whatever degree he is able to. Because she drank his blood (which stayed active inside of her even after her friends somehow managed to turn her human again), it’s the only DNA of Dracula / Alucard that Millenium could get their hands on. They used that Alucard-DNA to make copies and clones of Alucard (all the vampire / ghoul soldiers you saw) and to enhance their other fighters (Rip van Winkle, the scythe guy, even Walter himself).

Ti I absolutely love you, this was such a rollercoaster from start to finish. XD Increasing amount of Caps Lock means you reached the end of the series. *nod*

[thebetterarod]

An Interview with Aaron Rodgers and Emmy Rossum.

When two best friends, an NFL quarterback and a double threat singer/actress, sit down to interview one another.. Social security numbers, net worth, motherhood, godfatherhood, divorce, dating in Hollywood, Impractical Jokers.. nothing is off limits.

Aaron: Welcome to your interview, girl from Shameless. Please state your full legal name, date of birth, hometown, mother's maiden name, and social security number.

Emmy: Emmanuelle Grey Rossum, born September 12, 1986 in Manhattan, New York to Cheryl Rossum. My Social Security number is 5. Is this what being in the military feels like? Anyways, thanks guy from the insurance commercials for that rousing set of intro questions. I hope you're ready, because I'm going to dig deep and get to the nitty gritty, here. To start, can you now state YOUR legal name, date of birth, home town and what your yearly wages are, please?

Aaron: 5, wow. You must be old. I'm Aaron Charles Rodgers, born on December 2nd, 1983 in Chico, California. My yearly wages? Does this include endorsements where I take selfies with dogs? I'm not Floyd Mayweather, but I'm in the top 100 World's Highest Paid Athletes, not to brag. I'm more towards the hundred side of the spectrum, but I'm still there. What's the one question you're sick of answering when promoting Shameless? Instead of answering said question, give me the question you wished they'd ask about you about the show and then pretend that's my next question and answer it.

Emmy: I am, you don't even know. December 2nd, huh? What's it like sharing a birthday with Britney Spears? Do you ever see her out on her birthday and call her a birthday buddy or something? Have you ever had a group party? You should. Yeah, I can tell you're not much of a bragger. Oh that one's easy! It's "So, what's it like having your top off every scene?" or "Is it weird to go on a first date knowing the other person has most likely already seen you mostly naked?" It's so fucking stupid. I see zero problems with nudity on TV or movies, I think there's much worse things out there portrayed--or for kids to see--rather then a naked body. I realize you said not to answer it--but I did anyways. I wish they'd ask me...hm. I dunno, really anything other then something pertaining to my boobs or naked ass, would be a treat. Speaking of boobs and naked asses--that feels like a great segway--empty your pockets. Right now. What's in there? They say you can learn a lot about a person just by what they carry around with them, so let's see...

Aaron: I do call her my birthday twin. It's great. I invite her out every year and she never shows. I even get Happy Birthday Aaron and Britney written on all my birthday cakes. I figured you'd say those questions were the ones that were repetitive and most annoying. What would they expect you to say? It's part of the script, you're an actress, and you're doing your job. My pockets.. let's see. I have my keys, my iPhone, my wallet.. That's it. It's boring, which pretty much sums up my life. I'd say empty your purse and let's see what's in it, but a gentleman never snoops around on a lady's purse. Instead, I'll piggyback on my boring life comment. Your life has recently changed when you welcomed your first child into the world. What's changed since you become a mother and what're some things people told you would change or happen, but didn't?

Emmy: I had a feeling you did--I mean--you're you. So that makes sense you'd do that. Awe, really? That's kinda sad, now. What's up, Brit? Why you giving Aaron the cold shoulder? I have no fucking clue--it's like they just constantly wanna talk about my tits rather then some of the actual issues we tackle on the show. Sure, we do it mostly with humor, but there are some real moments in there. Damn, that's it? I'm kinda disappointed, I was kind of hoping you'd have something juicy in your pockets or something--but clearly--that was a bust. Eh, the juiciest thing I have in there would be the old stick of gum or the birth control pills--you're not missing out on much, guys, by him not asking--don't worry! This is true! Well, I mean--pretty much everything changed, really. I was really comfortable living my life a certain way them BAM! It all changed--I had more then just myself to think about and take care of for once--and I think that's been the biggest thing of them all. I can't just be spontaneous in my decision making anymore--cuz it doesn't just effect me. It's gotten me to grow up a bit more, not that I was really a child before, but still. I mean, everyone told me to brace for the no sleep, but I've been in the industry for a while now. I was used to living off a few hours of sleep, anyways. So yeah, it's still kind of a blow at first, but I can't complain. What about you? You've recently taken on a new role--not as a father--but even better, as a god father. How's that life treating you?

Aaron: Hopefully now with things changing in Hollywood, these questions will come up less and less and people will be more inclined to focus on an actress's talent, rather than simply her body. Nothing juicy, just boring. Looks like you share that boring quality with me. I bet, and being a single parent probably made it change even more drastically since you're doing it on your own. This is actually the second time I've been named Godfather, not to brag or anything. My first godchild is Hadlee, Christina's daughter, and then Conor and Margot named me Godfather to Conor Junior. I knew I'd be named Godfather from the moment Conor told me Margot was pregnant, even if they kept denying it. Here's an important question. Ready for it?Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go! Just kidding. You once told me you used to sing Opera for hot dogs when you were younger, which means you started in this industry, in some way, at a young age. When did you first realize you wanted to be an entertainer and what was your first passion - singing or acting?

Emmy: That's what I'm hoping, too. And honestly, I can say, since it was made public that I was asking for equal pay--and since I was granted equal pay as my co star William H. Macy--it's come up a bit less. So hopefully it'll die out, soon. I do, just add it to the list of things we have in common, next to our love of Joe Gatto screaming "LARRY!" It does, but I was also raised by a single parent. My dad was never in the picture, I've only ever met him twice--I never even had his last name--so I had a good blueprint on what to do and how to handle everything from being raised by my mom. I like to think I'm doing a decent job, so far. You do know that by saying "not to brag" that doesn't make it okay, right? It's like when someone says no offense--then says something super offensive, I'm just saying! But that's cute--you're a good Godfather, I'll vouch for you. I'm Jewish, so we don't really do the whole godfather thing--but if we did--you'd be my choice of Linc. I'm not sure I'm ready--but go ahead, anyways. You're such an ass, I'm dying! I was like 'Do I have a wife I forgot about?' I did, it's all true and totally not weird! Well, now I don't wanna brag, but I was actually the youngest singer to be a in the metropolitan opera children's chorus. I got in when I was seven by singing Happy Birthday in all twelve keys. I'm just saying. But I think--at first--it was singing. My mom used to listen to a ton of classical music when she was pregnant with me--I'm convinced I came out singing. But after a while, I kind of just naturally gravitated more to acting. I love both, but I'm all about the challenge of getting into character, and portraying people with flaws. Now, I know I mentioned Joe before--so here's the ultimate Impractical Jokers question--are you ready? Who's the best joker?

Aaron: Let's hope, especially when equal pay is really being brought to light lately. It always had a driving force behind it, but now people are finally starting to pay attention. LARRY! Most readers don't know this, but Emmy's son is actually named Larry. Your mother is a role model in more ways than one, and you are doing a great job. Larry's a lucky kid. Yes it does. That's just like saying "With all due respect.." before saying something rude. Ricky Bobby 101. I'll pretend I'm Larry's Godfather as well. All twelve keys? That's impressive. I'd ask you to sing something, but the readers won't be able to hear it and this isn't some magazine where you get a feature on Youtube along with the interview. You're really making me pick a favorite? Is that fair? It's not. I can never choose because it changes from episode to episode, challenge to challenge. There's not one I dislike. Can you choose a favorite Joker? I bet you can't.

Emmy: Honestly, I really hope so. Okay, can you please not use this publication to lie about my son? His name is Lincoln--for anyone who didn't know. Lincoln Asher Rossum. His initials are LAR, and so Aaron has taken it upon HIMSELF to nickname him Larry. He's the worst. Not that there's anything wrong with the name Larry--that's just not MY son's name! She really is, I'm glad I'm not the only one who see's that. Awe, thanks! Is this the part where we tell the world he's actually your child? Too much? I'm kidding, guys. It's like the colonel Sanders said: "I'm too drunk to eat this chicken." I'm not surprised. Thanks, they were pretty impressed too I guess since I got the job. Too bad, I do a mean version of Good Vibrations--but opera-ed up. I am, I told you, this interview is going to get to the important things people want to know about! Hey! You can't turn this back on me! Fuck...no. I can't--I really can't! I love them all for different reasons! Fine...moving on--but I warn you--I'm just going to have to dig deeper now. Aaron Rodgers...if you could take anyone on the best date ever--who would you take, and where would you go?

Aaron: Emmy Rossum is the liar. Her son is actually named Larry. Oh, we're using this publication to tell the world I'm actually Larry's father? I thought we were going to get to take the highest bid between People Magazine and Us Weekly. Secret's out now and no one will give us the money. I feel more free now, though. I knew you couldn't decide on a favorite, either. No one can. The best date ever? There's not really a special anyone, except my baby mama, in my life. There's the 'go all out' date and then there's the low-key date. It also depends on the girl. I've always liked the idea of a day of a drink on the beach, followed by sailing at sunset (drink responsibly), and wrapping it up with a bonfire. I prefer dates outdoors rather than going to a movie or a crowded restaurant. Staying on the dating topic, do you find it difficult to date in Hollywood or would you say you're more of an open book and you don't care what the public or gossip sites know/find out?

Emmy: Bull shit! The next time some pap snaps a pic of my and Linc, they're gonna say 'Emmy Rossum, out for the day with her son Larry' and I'm gonna be so pissed--cuz it's all your fault. We just did! No going back now. After telling the world where you are on the spectrum when it comes to annual income, I doubt anyone's going to feel bad for us not holding out for the bidding war. Oh well. It's true, it's the impossible question! That makes sense, though. It depending on the person. I'm kind of the same way, I love to hike and just be outside in general, really. I mean, don't get me wrong--I think the world knows I love to eat--but BESIDES eating, I also love being outdoors. So that's an A+ from me, I'll be on the look out and see if I can find anyone willing to go on that date with you, I got your back, buddy. Fuck yeah it's difficult. I mean--here's the thing: I don't really care all that much about the gossip and all that--I think it's obvious after falsely and sarcastically calling you out as the father of my child many times--but that being said--yeah it's hard. You date someone in the industry, and sure they understand, and sure I don't mind THAT much what the public knows, but it doesn't make dating easy. Everything you do is constantly under a microscope. It messes with you. I'm seen talking to literally any guy, someone takes a pic and the other person is wondering "Well who's that? or vice versa. It's hard to push it all away for some people--at least people I've dated it seems, so. Constantly being on the spot does not make dating in Hollywood easy. Since we're actually being kind of serious for once--I'm not sure if you've talked about it publicly too much. And if you don't want to, you can just say "Emmy, shut the fuck up" but-- what actually happened with the divorce? What was the final straw for you? You may have beat the hollywood record for shortest marriage, I'm just saying.

Aaron: I hope they do because that would be fucking hilarious. They'd side with you and make me pay child support. They always side with the mother. I'm going to win the Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai. Of course there would be food involved in there somewhere. In your case, it'd be roasting hotdogs over the bonfire. That's your dream, isn't it? Having your every move watched and scrutinized is probably a pain. Sure, I'm in the public eye, but athletes don't have to deal with it nearly as much as you guys in the entertainment business do. It's a little odd people think your business is their business. I give you all props for dealing with it on a regular business and going off like Britney did with that umbrella. We can talk about my divorce, I don't mind. Liv and I rushed into marriage, but not the way one would think. We dated for years before, broke up because she wanted marriage and I didn't at that point. When we reconnected, she didn't trust me and we were not exclusively dating. Finally, we got back together and I proposed right away, rather than taking our time and seeing how things worked out this time around. I didn't want to lose her, so I figured that was the best bet. I didn't do it for pity or to tie her down, though. I really did want to marry her at the time. It wasn't a last straw thing that lead me to realizing a divorce was needed. It was rushing into things, the lack of trust, the lack of communication. She also wanted her career and didn't want to be slowed down. I think she realized playing wife in Wisconsin would lead to that. Sometimes things don't work out and it sucks, but that's life. Do you want to set the record straight on the topic of Lincoln's father and why you've decided to do everything at your own speed? If not, you can answer a question like, say... who's your favorite quarterback?

Emmy: Of course you'd think it's hilarious--such a dick! Oh, wait, hey, ya think? Maybe I should try and get that, then. Couple more bucks in my pocket--not bad. Ha! That is my dream, you know me well! It really is. A lot of people think just because I'm on a show or a movie or whatever--that my personal life should be open to the world, and it's just so crazy to me. I mean, I go to the same Whole Foods at least once a week and there's always this one cashier I see. Because I see them on a weekly basis, does this mean I should have access to all of his personal business--like what the fuck? That makes sense. I mean, it was what felt right at the time--but when it stops feeling right well--there's usually a reason for it. You guys were smart in not letting it go on for a long time like some people do. Set the record straight? Hm...I dunno? I feel like I've been as open about the whole situation as I could. Am I proud of the way things turned out--am I happy Linc might not know who his dad is? No. But...I lived my life a certain way--there's not much more I could do. I've reached out, others have reached out, DNA tests have been taken...here's the thing. My father wanted nothing to do with me or my mom when he found out she was pregnant. I don't want to force someone to be in Linc's life if they don't want to be. When I had him, and for the end of my pregnancy--it was public. The ones out there now know who they are--and if they wanna step up and take a DNA test, they can...I'm not going to force them, though. It's not like I'm lacking for anything--I can provide. So. Yeah. PS my favorite QB is Brett Favre. What's your most embarrassing guilty pleasure? Could be music, tv--whatever!

Aaron: Are you dating this cashier? You're starting rumors about yourself now. Exclusive: Emmy Rossum is dating Whole Food cashier! Exactly, I thought marriage was what she wanted and I didn't really give it any time before popping the question. You live and learn. I'm not sure if my marriage lasted longer than Kim K's. That's understandable - you also know what's best for Linc. You wouldn't force him to have a father in his life and deal with the disappointment if the man didn't want to be involved. He obviously has a good support system with you and you're more than financially stable to provide. Not many would look at the whole thing your way, but it's a good way of approaching it. My embarrassing guilty pleasure? Chick flicks and reality shows, but I'm not embarrassed by it. I don't try to hide it or anything. The Kardashians are annoying as hell, but their show is hilarious sometimes. Team Taylor, by the way. Speaking of Taylor and her feuds, do you have any feuds with a fellow celebrity? Or is there someone you just cannot stand?

Emmy: Yes. His name is Norm, we're very much in love. Can't ever say Emmy Rossum discriminates when it comes to dating. That's all just part of life though, isn't it? You have to go through the shit to learn from your mistakes. We'll have to google it. I'm pretty sure you at least beat your birthday rival, so there's that. Exactly. I didn't have a father and quite frankly, I think I ended up fine. Would I ever try and ban his father from his life, if they came forward and wanted to be an active part? No. But I also think I've made all of this fairly clear--so if they want to go through it all--they can. I didn't really know how else to do it, ya know? Thanks, I appreciate that a lot, actually. Oh yeah? Well what's your favorite chick flick then? Be more specific, come on! Ha, no, no. I've never had a celebrity beef. I like to think I get along with pretty much everyone--I think I'm pretty easy going. At least I try to be. I'm kind of over the whole Kardashian thing if we're being honest. Sorry, I know you just said they're your fave--but it's the truth! I just don't really get the whole craze, I dunno--maybe I'm just getting old.

Aaron: Norm. He sounds like an older man or a scientist. Is he working at Whole Foods while paying his way through school? Britney only lasted a few hours, right? I can relate in a way to the no father thing. He was around growing up but in the past few years, my family and I lost touch. People who watched the Bachelorette know all about that. I never really commented on it because I wasn't about to air my family's dirty laundry like my brother did on national television. Shit happens. My favorite chick flick is Pretty Woman, because it's a classic, and How To Lose A Guy in Ten Days. Great movies. Oh, I don't understand the Kardashian thing either. They're definitely not my favorite, it's just fun to watch a trainwreck. Plus, Scott Disick is one funny guy, especially when he's calling them all out. We should probably wrap this up, yeah? What do you want your legacy to be? What do you want to be remembered for?

Emmy: He's in school to be a scientist, how did you know?!? I think so, yeah. I didn't know that about you--I knew about your brother, not about the rest though. There's a difference between being open and honest with the public and media, and still maintaining some private life, I think. Its a balance, and sometimes outsiders don't get that. Those are good ones, you chose wisely, I approve. It really baffles me but I guess people just like watching a train wreck sometimes to feel better about themselves? I know I've had people come up to me and thank me for the Gallaghers for being such fuck ups. Makes them feel better about their families I guess. That's a good question! I want to be remembered for this interview, of course! It will be my legacy. I'm going to be unoriginal and ask you the same for the last question. Back to you, Aaron!

Aaron: I think we go to the same Whole Foods. Balance, for sure, but also, I'm a football player. As long as I'm not getting arrested or dating someone famous, people don't tend to care about me further than the football field. Dating Candice and Olivia definitely made my personal life a little less private. To feel better about themselves, to watch a mindless show where you can just switch your brain off after a long day. Those reality shows are not like Homeland where you have to pay attention and keep up, that's for sure. Can I be unoriginal and say same? #Same. Maybe be remembered for my wit or sense of humor. Or my Hail Mary's. Everyone loves a good Hail Mary, especially Packers fans. Anyway, this was fun. We either gave people some good, nonwholesome entertainment, or annoyed the hell out of them. Either way, I feel good about it.

Emmy: Ya think? Don't tell Norm I told you about us, we're trying to keep it on the downlow, I don't want to scare him off. Yeah, that makes sense. So basically as long as you date a nobody next, you'll be fine! We're going to go down for this interview, and you know what Aaron Rogers? I'm okay with that! Plus, maybe your Hail Mary's. Could be worse. Could be remembered for dick pics or something. This was super enlightening. We should make this a yearly thing or something--maybe a web series--who knows? The possibilities are endless at this point! But thanks for sitting down and talking to me, it was enlightening, to say the very least.

[dinoalexander]

Your Moment of Zen: The Gourmet Academy’s Semi-Quotable 2019 Quotedown Quotetacular

Ladies and gentlemen and non-binary conforming life forms across seven star systems... the Gourmet Academy’s World Famous Get Down Like a Hound Party ‘til You Puke Semi-Quotable 2019 Quotedown Quotetacular... is ON! === “Time to play everybody’s favorite game show, Fireworks or Gunshots?” -BFG

“Goddamnit. I have to be the adult, don’t I?” -Gordon

“You can copy the format, you can copy the look, but you can’t copy culture!” -UBA

“Gentlemen, I wash my hands of this craziness.” -Kimberly

“Starting a petition to have Barbara Walters do the ball drop next New Years just to hear her say, ‘I’m Barbara Walters and this is 2020.’” -Chelsea

“Hello, Antonio Brown's Shiny Helmet Emporium, how can I help you? What's your pleasure?” -Carl

“Watch me whip out my Shenehneh.” -Gordon

“I feel like I’m watching one of my movies, because this whole damn thing sucks.” -John Cena

“I giggled.” -Michael

“I’m not saying BH90210 is the worst thing in the history of all recorded media, but if somebody had the theory that Luke Perry faked his own death to avoid any and all association with it, I would be willing to entertain that theory.” -Kevin

“Any day the key card works is a win.” -Joe Ovies

“She played a fiddle in an Irish band...” -Ed Sheeran “No she didn’t.” (Click) -Chico

“CBS was callin’, I’m Black Monty Hallin’.” -Wayne Brady

“Richard Quest on CNN!  He's gonna ask the rest of the 500 questions!” -Klaussie

“Work. What is this work bullshit?” -Gordon

“Verizon and Tegna, when the carriage agreement ended.” -MD

“I got my words! I got my friends! I got my words WITH my friends!” -Megan

“Thoughts and prayers to the Love Boat, who had her on so frequently her name probably appeared higher up on the call sheet than Isaac or Doc.” -Kevin

“Another fine product from Assmung.” -Carl

“Remember how I thought Adam Gase was a total piece of crap? I have been proven right. Fuck Adam Gase and the horse that rode in on him.” -Cyndi

“Walls? Where we’re going, we don’t need walls.” -Laura

“I’m a person who wants to be productive trapped inside a person who wants to sleep all day.” -Cortney

“Tommy Chong is a THC-list celebrity.” -JB

“Hey did you know that Francesa met Secretariat?” -Greg

“In a year when Black Panther told a story of a black superhero in a futuristic world struggling with real questions about how to deal with racial oppression, and BlacKkKlansman told a story of racial wounds in America that continue to this day and the need for allies to put themselves on the line, Best Picture went to Green Book, the story of a brilliant black musician as told through the white guy who drove him around. Okay.” -Kristin

“Advice: avoid sugar, Oregon Trail diseases, & women named in Mambo No. 5.” -Austin

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but so will my poor eating habits and bad decisions.” -Sarah Pribis

“She was prepared to kill a cockroach with a baseball bat.” -me on overzealous providers

“I am the crocodonkey.” -Klauss

“Aaaaaand we just lost Quisla.” -C

“Can Scaramucci last longer than a Scaramucci?” -...I don’t know, somebody.

“I want dysentery! ... wait what?” -Kyle

“My boobs are not real.” -Gordon

“I want to stop this show and take 10% of you outside, right now!" -Chris Harrison

“OMG Parallel Universe me, stop it!” -C

“I figured out who should host the Oscars ... Colin Kaepernick! Dude still needs a job, right? Also, he’s like two or three times the size of Kevin Hart. I bet we could pay him the same amount, so it’s like getting a bargain! Of course, I’ll want a modest consulting fee from the Academy. Problem solved. You’re welcome.” -Clint

“How the hell am I supposed to put this thing together? Are there instructions or am I just supposed to wing it?” -C “Even IKEA gives me instructions in a foreign language and a tiny ass tool.” -Q

"The only place you see Success before Work is in the Dictionary: -Mauro Ranallo NXT Takeover Phoenix

“A bold statement from a guy dressed as a hippo on a talent show.” -Klauss

“If you wanted the chicken fingers that badly, you could have asked for one instead of taking the whole plate of food.” -Gordon

“Time to play “Sexy or Sleepy”?” -C

“... that means ‘Eff you, you, you, and you’.” -Jason “That’s my autobiography right there.” -Gordon

“The magic thing about home is it feels good to leave but it feels better to come back.” -Emily “Home is a bit like that.” -C

“Thoughts and prayers to Ryan Stiles, who has lost his go-to celebrity impression.” -BB

“Hey, the Lord works in mysterious ways, but you don’t have to, USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL, ASSHOLE!” -Q

“What, you think people do coke once?” -Greg

“I can read off a TelePrompTer like a motherfucker.” -Kristen Bell

“‘Thank God we will be able to see more Pat Buchanan on TV’ said no one ever. I mean, for fuck’s sake, the last thing that is needed is another show featuring a panel of bloviating pundits. I get it. It’s cheap and easy to produce. But so is p*rn.” -Kevin, on The McLaughlin Group

“After watching HQ Words you wonder why Anna Roisman hasn't hit the big time yet. After watching HQ After Dark, you can completely understand why.” -Gordon

“If I die tonight, I want two of the Woodpeckers, two of the Football Tar Heels, and two of the Panthers to serve as my pallbearers so they can all let me down one more time.” -C, on Bad Sports Week 2019

“The first time is flattery, the second time is a lie.” -Michael

“I went to the mall with my pops. I saw something driving to there that truly shocked me. Someone had an orange Ford F650 extended cab pick up truck… With duallies… A rolling coal smokestack… And hubcaps with spikes on each of the nuts. And my only thought was… “My God… It must be MICROSCOPIC!” -Brian

“Would’ve expected to see “Employees must wash hands before returning to work”, posted in the restroom, but alright NOLA, still good looking out I guess...” -Casey

“Because....um.....going from a 40 to a 33 waist apparently makes people want to bed you.” -Gordon

“Breaking news: Idiot talks to idiot on a channel watched by idiots.” -Kevin

“Screaming tree maraca!” -Dahlia

“Looks like I fell down on the job.  Metaphorically, because literally would make me Oprah Rich and I'd be full of imported cheese right now.” -Laura

“In another decade or so, somebody is going to make a documentary on Ken Burns documentaries. The TRT will be 152 years.” -Kevin

“May your 2019 be filled with happiness, prosperity, great cocktails,  laughter, and Waffle House when you need it most.” -Rick Wilson

“There are sober people in England... No there’s not!” -Mike the CD

“Oh... oh.... oh....” -Q “IT’S MAGIC!” -C

“And finally, some of y’all still out here begging (I’m mean, pure, unadulterated BEGGING) for attention (I’m talking ANY attention) and validation. Lord Jesus put that sadness away. Just put it away.” - Michael

“I’m thinking of a number. The number is 10. You go first.” -JD

“Also, I would take tasteful pics of me making pizza naked. I'm only 30 and I'm only gonna look like this once.” -Kimberly D

“I have ADD. You wanna ride a bike? I’m gonna drink some water. Rooooooam if you want to... This coffee’s really delicious. I’m a sucker for you.” -Q

“Matthew Judon... Body built by Taco Bell.” -Matthew Judon, professional football player

“YEAH!!!! 1943, BITCH!” -my response to Q’s retelling of the events leading up to the Battle of Midway.

“Depending upon the inflection (Bless your heart) can mean anything from “oh you poor thing” to “would you lend me your brain?, I’m building an idiot”.” -Brian

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.” -LiyaZee

“That is a giant banana!” -Chris Ahearn, re: a giant banana “Why thank you!” -JB

“Betty White the Happy Homehooker.” -C

“I'll only have a hamberder if I can have it with covfefe.” -The Governess

“I will never forget when you surprised my ass in Atlantic City. That was the weekend of the Press Your Luck Prime Rib.” -JB “That was my first taste of the juice.” -Chico “And you been on the corner... ever since... looking for a fix.” -JB

“Sounds like a generic dude who owns the Ford dealership in every single city in America.” -BFG’s response to “Who is Tom Steyer?”

“Time to switch to Channel 7...” -Cyndi, getting ready to launch a Dallas recap style recap

“The only difference I've noticed this year is that now I get told, "OK Boomer", when I complain about holiday creep.” -Trey

“A 21st Century Koan... If a vegan that sold essential oils begin doing CrossFit… Which would they tell you about first?” -Brian

“Sorry I shoved my hair in your face.” -Christina

“You are turning into a Burberry wearing, wine drinking, charcoal mask wearing kinda guy... AND I COULDN’T BE PROUDER!” -Q

“Instead of airing new Love Island episodes, something tells me CBS is better off rerunning “The Mentalist”. -Doug “CBS is better off running Secret Talents of thr Stars.” -Gordon

“How far along are you?” -some guy “Oh, about six burritos and about a dozen cupcakes.” -Kimberly

“Answers and bribes go into the Corona Extra bucket.” -Michael

“Dear God, Please watch over Cole Anthony’s shoes.” -C

“What’s that scent you’re wearing? Oh, a little something I call washing your ass.” -Q

“You ever just wish there was a coffee delivery service? .... I do.” -Kathleen

“I’m just another brother with a game show.” -BFG

“(Unintelligible) ... Thicke of the niiiight.” -Greg’s impersonation of Gilbert Gottfried’s impersonation of Alan Thicke

“Antonio Brown doesn’t need football - ‘They’re going to play by my rules.’ A bold statement from a guy dressed as a hippo on a talent show.” -Klaussie

“You keep your head high and your middle finger higher.” -Alex

“There has to be a more scientific name for the penis. ... Intermittent organ?” —Gordon “That sounds pretentious enough to be scientific.” -C

“Zooey is saved for awkward sexy stories. Jeff Zucker is someone I don't want associated with "sexy stories".” -Dane

“Ryan is as Canadian as it gets. I think he bleeds maple syrup.” -C

“Turns out Gillette doesn’t work well with sensitive skin after all.” -Ben Rejmer

“Are you drinking something funny there, sunshine?” -Statboy

“It's so cold out here on the east coast that Jim Dolan, the brilliant genius that he is, decided to warm the citizens of Manhattan up and turn MSG into a giant dumpster fire.” -Gordon

“Ziggy is my spirit animal.” -C

“It may sound bougie, but.. you look good, you play good. You play good... they PAY good.” -Cam Newton

“We could be flying Pan Am Clippers to Venus. But MTV stopped playing music, legalized weed, and elected Donald Trump.” -C

“I get it. Tom Brady = deflated balls. Alex Guerrero = "inflates them". Hookers like Tom Brady. Damn, Alex Guerrero is better than Viagra.” -Klaussie

“I think I found the pony under the pile of shit." -Kimberly

“Skype sucks ass.” -Gordon

“In this troubled times, I like to put my hand over the  kidney in my heart, stare at the moon of Mars contemplating how the wheel is older than the wall, the great things Frederick Douglas is doing  & just being thankful I have ID to buy cereal, thankful for George Washington Airport victories & I don't have Windmill cancer.” -Trent Capelli...Twitter

“Sugar isn't "worse than cocaine."  You're not killing yourself by ingesting sugars either in foods or in your coffee.  People who are selling you weightloss programs want to tell you that you're killing yourself but there is no scientific evidence that sugar kills humans.   Thank you for attending my TEDtalk.” - Shrub

“I found a love...” -Ed Sheeran “No you didn’t.” (Click) -Chico

“Many of you are wondering about my mental state after the Vols game last night. I assure you last night I slept like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry...” -Brian

“If you paid $7 for a Jack & Coke, you got jacked.” -Klaussie “... and Coked.” -C

“Rich Eisen getting triggered by an f’n commercial for 9-1-1 because it featured a fictional situation in a place where his kid goes to is the most white guy thing ever.” -Greg

“And now that your reagent is all nice and mixed and all the chemicals have gotten to know each other, gently put the reagent cartridge onto the instrument. Gently... GENTLY, YOU IDIOT!” -C, to himself

“... goddamned hula shirt.” -Q

“The person who wrote the article needs to be taken in the back and have their writing license revoked. And then shot. And then never be allowed to touch a keyboard again. And then have their hands chopped off.” -Gordon

“They got Bowzer next to Barbi Benton, the lucky son of a bitch.” -C

“Here's what gets me every time I see the trailer for the Cats movie...these are all successful actors. Like...nobody in this movie actually needs to do this.” -Lana

“I made Chico donate $24 to Extra Life.” -Gordon

“You guys are compact cars like I’m a gay, wasted white girl.” -Q

“HQ is like the divorced dad with a much younger, hippy dippy, girlfriend-- and the kids don't want to visit.” -Amberlee

“Suck down your coffee like you own it!” -Hollie

“DRUM SOLO!!!” -Weird Al

“You know when you’re a podcaster you need a good vocabulary. I did always have one. When I was young I mixed up Jacuzzi and Yakuza. And for a while I was in hot water with the Japanese mafia.” -Brian

“It’s game of thrones, but I’m much less Jon Snow and much more Johnny Mudstorm.” -Gordon

“Skype is being a ho.” -Jason

“It's a less-sensitive Soul Man, in a time we need no such shit.” -Klauss

“I thought you were gonna get a room.” -Chapel Hill Phil “I thought you were gonna mind your business.” -Chico “.... that’s fair.” -CHP

“For those of you who are upset about being single on Valentines Day, remember this... 99% of my socks are single but you don’t see them crying about it!” -Connor

“They are selling CBD oil at Bed Bath and Beyond?! I’m sure that’s quality stuff. Honky, please!” -Christina

“She is twisted. If she swallowed a nail, she’d shit out a corkscrew.” -Q

“Oh Taylor Swift. Patron saint of Pride Month. Thank God for straight white girls.” -Michael

“Apollo’s Chariot: “I’m the biggest baddest hypercoaster on the eastern seaboard.” Intimidator 305: “... Bless your heart.” Fury: “Both of you can hold my sweet tea.”” -C

“I don't know you and I sure as heck don't know your sister.” -Klaussie

“Nothing makes you stronger than having no choice in the matter. You’re strong because you have to be.” -Christina’s dad

“Apparently people have mistaken my professional courtesy with genuine interest.” -Michael

“Jon Bauman, you dingleberry!” -Chico a la James May

“Bad enough it’s Scott but it’s Comic Sans, so that makes it even worse.” -Nick “Gentlemen... start your whacking!” -Cyndi “PHRASING!” -Jay, Chico, JVG

“As Robert Downey Jr. once said...” -Cindy

“Whenever I see a married couple with a joint Facebook page, I never, ever have any thought other than "I wonder which one of 'em cheated."” -Adam

“Why is Dan Orlovsky talking football and why should I take anything Safetyman says seriously?” -Cyndi

“Okay, you're a billionaire and can easily afford top-of-the-line call girls at $5,000 to $10,000 an hour and you go to a sleazy massage parlor where the women smell like lavender and shame (so I've heard).” -Steve

“My floor is occupied with eggs.” -Gordon

“Quis, your thing is making noise. Can you make it... not make noise?” -C

“I’ve been waiting at the phone for 29 years hoping someone can win this cruise!” -Klaussie

“If you wanted the chicken fingers that badly, you could have asked for one instead of taking the whole plate of food. #WelcomeBackToLeague #BowlerCityThievery #CheckingTheCamerasAfterLeague.” -Gordon

“I'm proud to say I only cried five times.  Admittedly, once was during the opening credits...” -Prof. O

“Phone calls in the mor-NING!” -C, describing his job as a radio jingle

“Okay, the shirt I was wearing when Liza gave me a slimy hug...I wanted to keep wearing it but I also loved the way the slime stains looked on it, so I waited six weeks to wash it so the slime stains would be totally set in. I just did laundry and there’s not a slime stain to be found anywhere on this shirt. On the one hand, mildly disappointed, but on the other hand, holy crap, Tide just made a customer for life out of me.” -Adam

"Really, you don't go back to the crazy ex-girlfriend. You leave her in the insane asylum." -Rafael Siegel, former Cash Show host

“Don't slap Charlotte in her boobs, you're just making her ANGRY!” -Brian

“Is it bigger than a Bird Box?” -Adam Nedeff’s take on What’s My Line?/Bird Box

“That song Birthday Sex is depressing when it’s your birthday and you have no sex.” -Red

“Politics politics politics Sean Spicer politics politics politics DWTS politics politics politics shimmy shimmy shimmy politics politics politics *tea sip*” -Kimberly

“We may need to add Brie Larson to the "How big is Batista's dick?" question list.” -Dane

“Chico and I not only know that we;re going to Hell, we requested a nice suite, complete with kitchen, spa and bidet, Aaron is coming also. We should have room in the suite for more if you want to join us.” -Gordon

“If Bill Cosby is telling you to get out, get out.  Else, you'll get a dinner drink with a special surprise.” -Klauss

“Hey, what’s coming out this May?” -Q “(Incoherent slurring)” -C “Really? Who’s in it?” -Q “Ryan Reynolds, I dunno.” -C

“I feel like Neville Longbottom with a remembrall.” -Amberlee

“Comically oversized shit sells. It's America, bigger is better.” -Jessica

“You’ve heard of salt in a wound or lemon juice on a paper cut... but have you heard of Oxi Clean powder on a fingernail you cut too short? Pro tip: avoid that.” -Coby

“I have an idea.” -Q “OH NO!!!! NOT AN IDEA!!!!” -C

“Truck contains political promises.” -actual septic truck

“Uhh... framing?” -C

“It’s very easy to get friends on these apps if you say you’re a hot chick.” -Gordon

“Woodstock 50 cancelled after organizers determined they can’t make it as hilarious as Fyre Fest.” -Adam

“Age and wisdom divorced decades ago. Stupid people get old too.” -Austin

“They put some extra claps in this.” -C, re: CS2019 theme

“I hope she’s dreaming the biggest, bestest dreams... and I hope she never stops.” -Kathleen, on her new little girl.

“You think it’s awkward buying condoms, try returning them!” -Q

“If Mississippi State wins the Outback Bowl, we all get free Bloomin' Onions. If Iowa wins, we all get free Coconut Shrimp. If that's not reason enough to root for Iowa, I don't know what to tell you.” -Matty

“Full hearts, full stomachs, can’t poop.” -Evil Travis

“That's it. Officially referring to my boobs as my "small turkeys".” -LiyaZee

“More phone calls in the mor-NING!” -C, describing his job as a radio jingle

“Tried watching pre-debate coverage, but the phrase "brutal Darwinian logic of winnowing" sent me back to Press Your Luck.” -Heather

“...if we hold up a painting of Hurricane Dorian, will it die?” -Amberlee

“Hey Cindy... you married that.” -C

“Literatively? Okay.” -Gordon

“I plan on going with Chef from South Park's line on that one -- "There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college."” - Kristin, on “Break Up With Your Girlfriend (Because I’m Bored)”

“Allegiant Stadium. Much like the Raiders... A WORK IN PROGRESS.” -C

“Nobody could sing like Milli Vanilli… But let’s be fair neither could they.” -Brian

“Gar-a-giola, Gar-a-giola, STRIIIIIIKE IT RICH! Gar-a-giola, Gar-a-giola, STRIIIIIIKE IT RICH! Strike! It! Riiiiich! Strike! It! Riiiiich! Gar-a-giola, Gar-a-giola, STRIIIIIIKE IT RICH!” -Nedeff’s lyrics to the love theme from “Strike It Richl by Hal Hidey

“In God we trust, all others must provide research-based, peer-reviewed data.” -Aryn

“Go-gurt™: because fuck spoons and decency.” -Sarah Ann

“Like I said ESPN is to the Patriots what FOX News is to the Republican Party.” -Greg

“That is like walking hepatitis.” -Tim DeLaGhetto

“Will there be any trivia questions on your trivia question show?” -Erskine

“I’m a journalism major, so I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” -BFG

“That’s Right is the Adam Gase of trivia apps.” -Greg

“And yes, Bill Maher does in fact molest collies, and goats...and sheep...and Chicago Bears. 😜” -JVG

“In the words of my dear uncle Paul, ‘Google it, bitch! I’m not here to educate you!’” -Nikki

“You know what they call the guy who graduates last in medical school?” -Megan “A doctor!” -C

“You can never win an argument with an idiot or an asshole. Idiots don’t know they’re wrong, and assholes won’t even consider the possibility that they could be wrong. You can’t help it if you’re an idiot sometimes, but don’t be an asshole. Just something to think about going into 2019.” -Clint

“No Ganos is good Ganos with Graham Gano.” -Tim

“Enough loonies to fill up the Bank of Montreal.” -Klauss

“In the age of auto correct no less, it makes me shudder when I see the leader of the free world making fifth grade grammar mistakes.” -Q

“You look like who did it and why.” -Mary

“Ow, my check! ... I mean, ow, my neck!” -Big Rick

“This woman on Wheel of Fortune has two grandchildren named Kennedy and Nixon, and I have questions.” -Melanie

“You’re the President of the United States and getting dragged by fucking Burger King. It’s just... wonderful.” -Shannon

“Classy, Like a White House Big Mac.” -Actual team trivia name

“Sex is a mistake 9 out of 10 times.” -Michael

“Who signs the cat?” -Carl

“This feels like an SNL sketch. Where’s Bill Hader?” -Greg

“Yeah! And uh...I played HQ with one of them in a hotel room. Wait, that sounds creepy.” -BFG “More than that.  (No, THAT sounds creepy.) You have played online trivia with one of them.  Surely you ran into or at least saw others in Vegas.” -Klaussie

the subject: The Jeopardy! All-Stars

“Step 1: Go to McDonald's. Step 2: Order a Shamrock Shake. There, now you don't have to read the article.” -Prof. O via Evil Travis. The question: “How to order a Shamrock Shake.”

Lunch lady: “Hey Dino! Get me a grape soda! I’m thirsty!” C, after an insane amount of giggling: “You said it, not me.”

“Some bitch decided she wanted to be a bitch.” -C

AP headline on Twitter: "Tim Tebow struggling in Triple-A; still a work in progress." GSNN: "Funny -- so was 'Million Dollar Mile'."

“The Bosa brothers = MAGA Gronk.  Don't @ me.” -Klauss

“... BASSOON SOLO!!!!!” -Weird Al

Greg: “Crying Game Cereal. A surprise in every box.” (Everyone dies for, like, five minutes) Chico: “... I’m going to HQ.... YOU NEED TO GO TO CHURCH!”

“Aunt Becky has some stupid kids.” -Austin Rogers

“I wanna be 21 again and ruin my life differently... I have new ideas.” -Sarah Pribis

“Mannnn listen!! It's time to just throw the whole R. Kelly away!!” -Bruce

“By the time all is said and done, I will have been awake for 24 hours.” -C “Rookie.” -G

“Instead of airing new LI episodes, something tells me CBS is better off rerunning “The Mentalist”. -Doug

“Well they went over as well as a ham sandwich at a kosher deli.” -Q

“Drop it and get out of here!” -Carl’s boss

“The call is coming from inside the wheelhouse.” -Ullsperger

“I am the Marquis de Asshole.” -Gordon

“Elizabeth Banks’ ass is America’s ass.” -C, with apologies to Paul Rudd, Elizabeth Banks, and Bill Carruthers

“Don't have an iPhone or iPad? Maybe you can beg at the boots of your betters, proletariat scum!” -Megan

“Tom Brady and Bob Kraft shaking hands and whispering into each other’s ear... ‘Hail Hydra’.” -C

Jason (discussing the Masked Singer): “The Hippo was ANTONIOOOOOOOO Brown!” Brian H: So THAT'S how the Madden Curse happened this year.

“Manish Mehta is on 92.3 The Fan right now.  My first thought after hearing him for 5 seconds:  He sounds like Aziz Ansari as The Bookworm on that SNL GSN show parody a few years ago.” -Klaussie

“Look at me, I’m Sandra Bullock.” -Nick

"That's Britain for you. Tea solves everything. You're a bit cold? Tea. Your boyfriend has just left you? Tea. Coordinated terrorist attack on the transport network bringing the city to a grinding halt? TEA DAMMIT!" — LiveJournal user jslayeruk

“Temporary emotions lead to permanent mistakes!” -C

“Tuesday night wasn’t just biscuits. Roy Williams went ahead and got the dirty rice to go with it.” -Adam Lucas after Carolina made State humble, 113-96

“Shaka... when the paywalls fell.” -Kevin

“Barbi Benton... ROLL TIDE!” -Greg

“I love when you ask for recommendations for establishments, services, recipes, products, etc., and people respond with, "Did you Google it?" Like, Thanks, Karen! I hadn't thought to use the easily-accessible, number one search engine in the world before! I'm totally not looking for recommendations based on actual experience from personal friends who will give me honest feedback, so I'm glad you directed me to Google!” -Cindy

SWSNBN: “Can your cover for me while I eat my sandwich?” C: “Go eat your sandwich.” SWSNBN: “I’ve got nothing going on.” C: “You’ve doomed us all. Go eat your sandwich.”

“If life gives you lemons remember: life was very honest about how many people it'd been with.” -Austin

“Two hours after lunch is still after lunch! BOOK SAY SO!” -C

“Remember, two wrongs don’t make a right, three rights make a left, and I’m Kyle Serra, quiz responsibly.” -Kyle

Q: “The answer fell into the pizza!” C: “Well now not only is it correct, it’s delicious.”

“Tom Brady just got the sixth stone. Half the NFL is about to vanish.” -Nikki

“I’m Max Essodus and I’m leaving!” -Klauss

“Chuck Todd is a bowl of Jello with a bad goatee and a shitty hair cut.” - @PhillyLocalGuy

“Leonard Frey! Leonard Frey! Anytime you call, Leonard will take care of you! Winter, Spring and Fall!” -Chico

“I THINK I’M BREAKING EVERY FCC RULE IN THE BOOK!” -Kevin Harlan calling two NFL games at the same time

“Horrible news to report, Baby Yoda has died after Myles Garrett beat the shit out of him with a helmet.” -Barry McCockiner

“The Yankees are like Roman Reigns: they’re good, everybody still hates them, and they always kick out of your finisher shm” -Mike Janela

“My nightmare is being stuck working for a guy that looks like Chris Cillizza” -@ChadShartman

“Mel Gibson/Rothschild casting is most inspired decision since Richard Spencer was chosen to write the screenplay for the new Frederick Douglas parody bio pic.” – Josh Marshall

“OOOOH! A LITTLE BIT OF THE BUBBLY!” - Chris Jericho

“Minecraft? HELL NO!” -Amberlee at RewardTheFan on Minecraft RewardTheFan

“109876543210, Happy New Year!” – Kyle @ Trivia Crack

“LYDIA CORNELL IS NOT A BIMBO!” -Mike

Tony Stark: “Hey, you said one out of fourteen million, we'd win, yeah? Tell me this is it.” Doctor Strange: “If I tell you what happens, it won't happen.”

America, let me just tell you something, do not commit crimes with checks.” –Charles Barkley

“I bet George Halas and Pop Warner are up there now coaching Angels in the Heaven Bowl.” –Cord Hosenbeck

“The director saw Green Book and was inspired to make a bigger disaster of a movie about race.” –From the IMDb Trivia Page for Loqueesha

“Drew Brees and Harry Styles fighting over a Pepsi is Peak 2010s.” -Chico

“The aging app? I didn’t know there was an app that helped Mike Maccagnan make his freaking draft picks!!!” -@DAitken90

“For all the notes and stats FOX gave out, they missed that this was the very first post-season game in history where two wife-beater closers gave up two-run home runs in the 9th.” -Ken Levine

Chico: “Man, Bowzer ruined this!” Mike: “Just like the second half of the show Bowzer ruined this!”

“Amazon Suggestion for David Pecker: Because you considered “Blackmailing the Richest Man Who Ever Lived,” we recommend you “Get an Orange Jumpsuit.” –Stephen Colbert

“When in doubt, choose Helium!” –Megan

“They should make a Mistress Pac-Man. Ghosts chasin’ her around the apartment Pac-Man rents for her, eatin’ all the strawberries and chocolates he sends and whatnot. Then the last level Ms. Pac-Man is after her ass like “Oh HELL no that’s MY round yellow man!!!” –George Wallace

“God is a woman and her name is Hailee Steinfeld” -@dakotalanthimos

“I stopped by the Statue of Liberty today, thinking about freedom, and the ability to go for it all.” –Bill Walton at the Pac-12 Tournament in Las Vegas talking about being at the NY-NY Casino

“today marks LaGuardia Airport’s first positive contribution to America.” –Jack Holmes on the end of the Late 2018-Early 2019 Government Shutdown

“BEAT THAT GHOST DICK!” -Matt Richards

Greg: “What if the Monster on The Masked Singer is Michael Cohen?” Mike: “If it is that will almost guarantee there won’t be a second season of The Masked Singer.”

“Roger Clemens tried to smash Mike Piazza’s head with a baseball bat and was still less of an asshole than Curt Schilling.” -@purgatos@knzk.me

“I love all the diversity in Star Wars. There’s brown people and someone with a Boston accent” -Dani Fernandez

“I don’t care that Brock Lesnar won Money In The Bank, I want to know if Brett Somers won Money In The (BLANK)” -Mike

“Woodrow Wilson even with a stroke was sharper than Donald Trump is today.” –David Frum

“THE JABRONI OF THE JABRONI MOVIE FOR THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDE JABRONI NEED TO HAVE THE MOST EXCELLENT LEADING HEAL TO MAKE THE IRON SHEIK LOOK LIKE THE LEGEND. PROBLEM NOBODY HEAL ENOUGH TO BE THE LEGEND. THIS WAY ONLY PERSON THAT TAKE THE CHRIS HEMSWORTHLESS LOOK LIKE HE THE REAL BABYFACE IS THE LEGEND IRON SHEIK. OTHERWISE THIS MOVIE WORSE THAN THE NOTEBOOK AND WORSE THEN THE JABRONI BETTE MIDLER BEACHES” –The Iron Sheik

“As far as I’m concerned, that’s America’s ass!” - Scott Lang “That is America’s Ass.” - Steve Rogers “America’s Ass? Are you talking about Tom Villard?” - Mike

“Oh Jesus, it’s Jimmie Walker’s turn!” –Chico

“Where’s the Robert Kraft spa video? I’d rather watch a video of my own funeral.” –Gerard Mulligan

“So, does Jeff Zucker have to completely cause CNN to lose money and get devalued so badly it gets bought out by Comcast for him to replace Vince Russo as “worst Turner Broadcasting hire ever?” -Dane

“I was just researching Mark Russell as a "Whatever happened to...?" He's still alive.” –Matt Jones

“And all of ESPN and FS1’s morning shows are just the worst. People who watch them actually come away dumber for doing so. I don’t understand the appeal of watching idiots on either network yell biased opinions at each other...many of which are lacking context or facts beyond what they see on a caption of a social media post. It’s like going to a comment section and watching arguments.” -Dylan White on the Awful Annoucing Facebook comments section

“Hunter, Kiss my ass.” –Dave Bautista

“The fact that the CEO of twitter can have his account hacked is a blinding indictment of twitter’s security policies. The fact that no one could tell the difference is a blinding indictment of jack himself.” -@ChrisSmith_RSB

“I don’t know anybody who loves or even likes Trey Wingo.” -@SlicedBrett

“A Madea Star Wars” must now be a thing…” –Amberlee

“People are like "the New York Post is bad for that cover, subscribe to the Daily News instead!" as if the Daily News didn't run a screencap of a woman being murdered on it a few years back. They're both pure trash. Neither are better.” -Craig Calcaterra

“Tim Burton’s Dumbo brings out Michael Buffer TWICE to say “Let’s get rrready…for Dumbo!” and I laugh again every time I think about it.” –Ken Jennings

“Who the hell is Dr. Lee Franz?” –Jason H.

“I was in the theater and that moment was revealed and the audience was “OOOOH!” and I just was laughing so hard!” –Ron Burgundy remembering the ending of “The Crying Game”

“Ladies and Gentleman… whatever legitimacy pro wrestling has left literally crawled under the ring.” –Chico critiquing the workrate of Colin Jost

“BANODLES, ARE YOU READY TO GO SHOPPING, YOU SON OF A BITCH?” -MIKE

“Can y'all imagine if the Gremlins and Jason Vorhees both attacked at the same time that would be some difficult shit to deal with anyway talk to you later” -George Wallace

“Trump getting impeached over the Ukraine is a little like Scorsese getting the Oscar for The Departed, but hey recognition is recognition.” -John Ross Bowie

“Alex Trebek is a fixture in the American firmament and we're all behind him. What a great man, so kind to my family and so warm to all of us contestants. Send him your love.” -Austin Rogers

“Rather than bore you with my expansive knowledge of British politics, allow me to comment on more pressing matters: drunken Chris Jericho getting his belt stolen” -Mike Tunison (@xmasape)

“Only ESPN would do a feature on Robert Kraft taking former players to Jerusalem — while he awaits trial for soliciting prostitution in a sex trafficking ring.” -@willgcopeland

“Looking forward to the “In Memory of Jim Cornette’s Career” graphic that will be starting Dynamite.” - Trevor Dame

“Tom Steyer sounds like a guy who airs MLK and Columbus Day ads, where you can get a new Mustang or Fusion for up to $6,000 off MSRP” - BFG

“Eh, what’s her name? Her name Barry Lonson. She’s in da, she won Oscar for the movie “Stuck In The Basement”. Also, she’s in the movie “Kink Kong: He Got Love With Her” but how he make sex with her, she’s young, she’s small and he big. I don’t know?” -Yehya reviewing Captain Marvel

“To this day nobody knows who Ann Risley is.” -Chico

“Heartbreaking: there is apparently no video I can find of this moment, where a robot named "Mr. Scraps" delivered a ball to James Doohan (Scotty from Star Trek), who had just arrived in a dry-ice-and-laser-bathed Delorean to throw out the first pitch in "The Biodome". Please enjoy this real quote from the Mariners former VP of marketing: "We named the robot Mr. Scraps, because it looked like a garbage can on wheels. Not exactly what we were expecting, but it served its purpose." -alex@allpro.social

MC Cool Cloud: “No union better mess with my family!” Cloud 9 Employee in Training Video: “Oh, MC Cool Cloud, (pats stomach) you’re gonna be the best dad.” Garrett: “I’m sorry, did MC Cool Cloud just impregnate a human?” Mateo: “I think he did.” “I’m in shock, Gene. I just talked to my accountant and I found out this guy made 30 grand and I’m working for minimum scale.” -Marty Cohen on MG-HSH Episode #12 “It would be kind of weird for a person named Tammy to be played by Tim Dunigan.” -Mike

“Chico's brain only has so much memory.  It's either the capital of Botswana, or something you rambled at 3AM while white-girl wasted.   Only one of those nuggets of wisdom is a panty-dropper, and I think we all know which.” -Laura

“So, the audience for SNL seems to be comprised of easily offended Catholics, YouTube “influencers”, and Trump. But Lorne Michaels still thinks he shouldn’t retire? Because if I learned those people watched something I produced, I’d eschew all technology forever and go live in one of those Unabomber log cabins.” -Kevin

“Morning report: The "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd sure gets triggered easily.” -Rick Wilson

“ZIPPERS?!” -Klauss

“We’s considerin’ buddies.” -C

“Automan’s naked and wearing a belt? I don’t get this!” -Klaussie

“You were standing in his crotch!” -Anna

“I am utterly surprised there were no traces of Batman cereal yet Greg's dad made at least 2 appearances.” -Klaussie

“Next time, can you pick a gas station that ISN’T in the middle of nowhere?” -C

“Did Isaac ever deliver cold hard cash direct to your PayPal account? No!” -Greg

“Too many phone calls in the mor-NING!” -C, describing his job as a radio jingle

“Semi-Quotable of the 2010s--Hundreds of quips enter, Adam Nedeff wins because he's funny and he has half of Hollywood under his thumb.” -Klaussie

“You’re not you when you’re thirsty.” -Q, the Double Entendre of the Year

“Nobody ever robbed a convenience store to get sugar money.” -Brandon

“If you're mad at rich peoples kids for getting special acceptance/treatment at college and you aren't mad about all the athletes that get the same thing you're a hypocrite. Ya'll leave Aunt Becky alone.” -Stephanie

“Damn it! I used too much stick.” /Ethan

“And her tights say two cents a dance.” -Kimberly

“Go home, That’s Right. You’re clearly on meth.” -Evil Travis

“I paid $700 for THAT?!” -Klaussie

“Florida is now under a Jim Cantore watch.” -Braden

“Good Brother, but Bad Mother!” -Gordon

“Dude. Even Nike hates Duke!” -D

“For 15 points, Will Smith’s arrogant cousin Hillary appeared in an episode of NBC’s hit sitcom Blossom. Another episode of blossom featured Don Novello playing the role of Father Guido Sarducci, and Father Guido Sarducci also popped up on an episode of Married...With children. Stay with me here. David Faustino’s character Bud Bundy also popped up all the Fox network sitcom Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. In another episode of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, Parker crosses paths with grown-up Eddie Haskell, who of course,We all remember from Leave It to Beaver. His next-door neighbors, June, Wally, and Beaver Cleaver were all characters in an episode of the Love Boat. Now there is this other episode of the Love Boat where all of Charlie’s Angels are on board. In an episode of Charlie’s Angels, Dan Tanna shows up from Vega$. But that’s not important right now. Remember when I said Parker Lewis had crossed paths with Eddie Haskell? Well Eddie also popped up on an episode of Hi Honey I’m Home. So did Gale Gordon‘s character Mr. Mooney, who you might remember from the Lucy Show. There’s an episode of the Lucy Show where Lucy crosses paths with Private Gomer Pyle, USMC, who, of course originally appeared on the Andy Griffith show, which was a spinoff of Make Room for Daddy. On an episode of Make Room for Daddy, Danny encounters Buddy Sorrell, one of Alan Brady’s writers on The Dick Van Dyke Show. Alan Brady later appeared on Mad About You, where Ursula was the twin sister of Phoebe from Friends, and Phoebe’s friend Chandler Bing showed up on Caroline and the City, where Caroline draws a popular comic strip that is read and enjoyed by Daphne Moon, the caretaker for Dr. Frasier Crane’s disabled father. Dr. Crane used to hang out at a Boston bar called Cheers, where Norm, Cliff, and Carla encounter Drs. Auschlander & Westphall, but on a landmark 1988 broadcast, we learn that Drs. Auschlander & Westphall never existed and that all of the shows I mentioned in this question are logically the figments of the imagination of Tommy Westphall, Who is the only character who demonstrably existed on what beloved medical drama?” -Adam

“Snapchat Catch Phrase!” -Will & Erinn

“#1800235DEAD!” -...damn near everybody

“Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners.” -Charles Stiles, Mystery Diners

“This tea is delicious.” -Kimberly === Here’s to 2019... Come together, just think of tomorrow.

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep17

So many things happened in this episode...

Very long post warning!

Iruma, Baram-sensei, and Agares are on their way to evacuate the kids.

Listen, it might just be me but while I appreciate that Agares has not put back on his eye mask after it was taken off the first time, I really wish he’d get a different hairstyle. I mean, his face already looks good but his hair, man.

Sabnock and Azz were only told to get the dragon's attention while the kids are being taken to safety. They were explicitly told not to get too close and actually fight the dragon. What do they do? They do exactly the opposite of that. The two makes it a little competition as to who is better/stronger and argues while in battle.

Sensei is sad that the kids didn't listen to him and feels that it might be cause he wasn't good enough as a teacher. Iruma tries to tell him that it's not true.

Don’t worry, Sensei! It just so happens that this is the Abnormal Class students and this is just how they are. You might have better chances with the others.

Azz and Sabnock continue to fight the dragon but their arguing also meant they don't mind accidentally (or not) hitting each other with the attacks.

While the two were busy arguing, the dragon sees Iruma's group and sends a beam their way but Baram-sensei manages to protect the group. And yeah, the little kids are safe inside Agares’ floating cloud thing.

Azz was worried about Iruma and the others that he doesn't notice the dragon behind him about to attack. Iruma tried to yell out a warning but it was too late.

Look, I know he’s not gonna die and all. He’s one of the main characters and they have plot armor but seeing the look on everyone else’s faces as they watch this happening before their eyes is still terrible.

As Iruma helplessly watches one of his bestfriends get blasted, he remembers what Kalego-sensei told him about being reckless enough to get in danger. Iruma knew it happens a lot but he didn't really mind and thinks everything will be okay in the end but that's because he only thought of what could happen to him. He now realizes that now that he has friends and loved ones, getting himself in danger meant that they, too would get in danger.

It’s awful to think about in many ways really. Iruma didn’t have friends prior to coming to this world and his family sucked. He had to take care of himself and himself alone and he’s so used to it that being in danger or in trouble is not really that big of a deal cause he’s used to it. The consequences also fall on just himself. Now though, he has a loving family and a group of friends and he’s no longer alone not just in happy times but also in times when things could go wrong.

Of course, Azz isn't blasted to bits. Sabnock protected Azz by making a shield but it melted and he himself got hit pretty badly with his wings being a casualty.

This actually hurts to look at. He’d be okay, right? His wings are gonna heal, right?

Azz: "Why did you save me?"

Sabnock: "Cause it's cool!" 

Sabnock did what he did cause he wanted to look cool because the demon king is supposed to be cool. jfc this boy!

The dragon attacks them with fire this time but they were able to avoid it and hide. Sabnock suggest that they retreat for now cause they could die if they don't.

Azz is against it so Sabnock explains to him that if his ambition is to win just this fight then he could do so and die if he wishes. But Sabnock knew Azz has an actual dream (of being Iruma's best ally and all) and if Azz wants to attain that one day he needs to think properly. Sabnock tells him that he's had to learn the same lesson (back in season 1) and now Azz has to as well in order to grow.

He basically sort of says the same thing Kalego-sensei thought when he made that home visit to Azz’s house. Asmodeus is too obsessed with Iruma and neglects himself because he kept putting Iruma first but if he grows and becomes better, then he’d be a better ally to Iruma.

Azz uses the last of his magic to create a flame wall for them to escape. He then admits that he was wrong and that Sabnock was right.

The two tries to run to safety as they can't fly due to injury and lack of magic. Azz thanks Sabnock for saving him and Sabnock tells him that at that moment, both of them are extremely cool. I agree, you’re both cool.

Sensei saves them from another light beam! He tells the two to go and to leave this to him.

When they finally got back, Iruma immediately hugs Azz and cries in relief that his friend isn't dead. Aww... Azz didn’t see this coming and also felt sad when he sees Iruma crying.

Iruma apologizes for not thinking about things and that his decision got them in danger while Azz says it was also his fault for being reckless so Iruma shouldn't apologize. Sabnock got annoyed and decided to carry them off and away from the nearby fight.

Back to the fight, Sensei had already summoned his own dragon. Sensei uses his knowledge about different creatures to attack the Carmine Dragon.

The Wood Dragon infused with Sensei's magic is strong even against the opponent’s flames. He's gonna give it his all because the beast had hurt his precious students. I think that’s really sweet as despite the bad impression everyone’s got of him, he really does love his job and the kids he teaches.

After beating the Carmine Dragon, Sensei gets back to the others. The Wood Dragon is back to it's normal form and it's so tiny and cute. Seeing Sensei's strength, Azz and Sabnock asks Sensei to teach them magic. This kind of confuses Sensei because normally, people try to escape his studies and not ask to be taught by him. They’re finally seeing him in a good light.

I remember when Baram-sensei was first introduced, it was Azz that was warning Iruma about the strange teacher and how they probably shouldn’t take his class. Now, it’s Azz who was first to ask Baram-sensei to teach him.

Two of the defeatd beasts turn into beams of light and goes towards the dragon and all three fused into this bigger creature. And since they fused with the dragon, it means they're right where Team Baram is.

Look who came! Opera and Ameri arrived in the nick of time to help Sensei protect everyone. Baram-sensei asks for his Opera-senpai's help to fight.

Opera says it'll be too much for just the two of them and whips out the "secret weapon". lol was this what Opera asked from Clara?

The kids of Team Kalego asks if Kalego-sensei isn't gonna do something about the beasts who glowed and shot off somewhere. Kalego-sensei tells them he already did had his fun and that's all he'd do. He then gets summon and we now have Fluffy-sensei!

The two other adults are very happy to hold the floof and I cannot blame them I wanna hug that floofy-sensei, too. Kalego-sensei asks Iruma to release the summon so he could go back to normal but Opera tells them Kalego-sensei would also be transported back if his summoning is released.

This shot would've been so much more badass if Kalego-sensei wasn't in his cute fluffy form. The students are excited to watch the powerful adults fight together.

As much as I like the whole “underdogs win the fight and impress everyone”, I appreciate how realistic this show is handling this. The magic beasts are super powerful and the majority of the main cast available are first years students who are still learning how to do their thing plus Iruma is a human using borrowed magic. Letting the adults, who are not only said to be some of the most powerful demons but are also experienced, handle the big fights is actually nice. Plus they’re also important characters and if the show is gonna try to convince us that these three are very powerful then they have to show it in the story which they are. It’s great!

The three quickly made individual attacks at the same time insta-killing not just the beast but also the excitement everyone had. There was no battle and this was totally one-sided.

The leader of the Six Fingers is made aware of what happened to their beasts but he isn't too worried cause the thing can self-destruct. The purpose of the three beasts was to destroy the park after all so even in death, they'd do just that. Agares creates a giant hole for them to hide in but while in their little safe zone,  Ameri gets a horrifying realization that the blast would certainly hit the evacuation shelter. Attacking the beast would just make it explode faster and they have no other way to communicate to the people there to give a warning.

At the last moment, when all hope is lost, Ronove comes in, screaming at the monster cause the thing not just ruined Walter Park (which was built by his Legend-daddy) but also hurt the people there. Using his ability, he gets the monster's attention (and also everyone else's. There are news crews there if you remember correctly and sp cameras). Poor Ronove realized too late that he'd get hit instead because of what he did and had no plan whatsoever of what to do after.

lol what is Legend-daddy in Japanese? I think it’s a cute name to call your parents. What does he call his mom? Will they every show it in the anime? Anyways, I think this is pretty cool of Ronove to do. He’s kinda arrogant but he’s not a bad person.

Iruma comes in to try to defend Ronove. What happens next? We'll find out next episode.

--

Tumblr let me have the miracle of not giving another error when posting more than 15 images! There’s like, 25+ here! The episode didn’t feel rushed even though so many things happened and it’s awesome!

First of all, I like Sabnock’s character. Back at the beginning of season 1 I thought Asmodeus was gonna be Iruma’s rival but that was quickly dashed when he becomes a very close ally and follower instead. Then Sabnock came along to take the rival role. Unlike other rivals who can be annoying or too full of themselves or at worse, bordering villain status if they aren’t one already, Sabnock is actually a nice guy and a friend to Iruma. He learns from his mistakes and desires to improve on them. He wants to be a Demon King and he’d work hard on it and if he feels he’s lacking something, he’d try to so something about it. When Iruma does something better than he could, he gives genuine praise and doesn’t get mad that someone else did better. He’s a pretty cool guy and while we all know Iruma would end up becoming the Demon King anyways, I think Sabnock would also be perfect for the role as well.

They let Ronove do something cool this time! He didn’t think things through but his heart is in the right place and that’s what matters. He’d be fine! Haha

Opera and Baram-sensei both happy when holding the floofy Kalego-sensei is funny. I wonder how they reacted the first time they saw it?

Next episode they’d probably be on the road to facing the Six Fingers and Kiriwo-senpai since the issue with the beasts is gonna be dealt with at the start of it. I’m kinda excited to see how it’ll all go.

Thanks for reading! I hope that wasn’t too boring. There were so many screenshots this time around.

[evenstevensranked]

#38: Season 1, Episode 17 - “Get A Job”

In order to afford a Sludgie (a.k.a slushie) machine for his room, Louis opens his own Doggy Daycare. But like most things Louis attempts, it quickly becomes difficult for him to handle. Meanwhile, Steve and Donnie bond over destroying a birdhouse. 

This one opens with Louis trying to butter Steve up in preparation to drop the “Buy me a Sludgie machine” bomb. Which is definitely supposed to be a “Slushie” or “Slush Puppie” machine, but I’m assuming those words are copyrighted. Louis decorates the entire house for Father’s Day… even though it ain’t father’s day. “But, every day is father’s day, Dad… when you have the perfect dad, Dad!” Louis cannot genuinely think that this could work. After prefacing the Sludgie question with a dramatic story about how the machine is going to be thrown out of a store that’s closing unless Louis rescues the inanimate object from the potential clutches of an evil child — Steve drops a bomb of his own: “Get a job.” Oh, boy. Why are those words so… terrifying? Even today as a 24-year-old adult, those 3 words send a shiver down my spine. They scream “you’re getting older, get over it” to me. I don’t know. Louis and old-fashioned work isn’t exactly a match made in heaven, though. So you already know he’s gonna spin the job angle into something ridiculous.

Louis is wearing an “I ♥ DAD” shirt to really sell it!

Steve suggests that Louis should ask Ren for help, since she just so happens to be running a youth career planning center from her room. Of course she is. Something I really like about the scene where Louis asks her for a job, is the names of the other kids already there waiting. Ren refers to them by their last names, and they’re all names of writers/crew members!! “Dearborn” - The show’s creator, Matt Dearborn. “Cunningham” - One of the writers for this episode, Sarah Jane Cunningham. And “Kaiser” another writer for a different episode, Brooke Kaiser. This is so cute to me. It’s not the only time the writers have done something like this either. This only further supports my idea that one of the writers must’ve lived down the street from Del’s Pizzeria. These kids have zero lines though, and it’s kinda funny and obvious that Disney didn’t wanna pay people more than they had to. Ren talks to the kids and they just... smile... as a response, lol. It’s awkward. She gives the Cunningham girl a job at a movie theater concession stand and tells her “Here’s a tip... Extra salt on the popcorn = they’ll buy more drinks.” This has always stuck with me. How slimy. 

So, Louis busts in asking for a “teen job thingy” (perfect!) and I freaking love when Ren questions Louis about his career goals. He’s so sarcastic in the most deadpan way. He says he wants to ride a motorcycle in the globe of doom in Vegas, is “hoping to move to Donnie’s room” in five years time, and refers to some guy at a donut shop with a claw hand as the public figure he most respects. I love Louis. Then we get a montage of Louis failing at every job Ren gives him. This is actually something that’s a little off about this episode, and I never noticed it until my series re-watch for this project. There’s, like.. 5 montages in this episode. I have to admit that’s a little overkill. To an extent, this almost doesn’t even feel like an episode. That many montages means there’s hardly any actual dialogue. It’s weird.

Anyway, one of the jobs Louis fails at is “Mass Mail Marketing” a.k.a licking envelops. They decided to use this annoying CGI tongue for the scene, which I hate and always have hated. It’s not the only time they use the CGI tongue either, tragically. Like I’ve said before, stuff like that just comes across as something thrown in for a cheap laugh. I’ve literally never thought it was funny. In fact, I usually cringe a bit when they pull stuff like this. Sigh. 

Um, this actually looks a little... off-color. Ew. 

Louis returns to Ren asking for another job as long as it doesn’t involve licking. She finds one for him, but quickly takes it back saying “...but that involves some light licking...” WHAT THE HELL kind of jobs does she have in this database of hers?! Louis goes on to fail at being a paper boy and a restaurant mascot. That’s three strikes, so he’s dead to Ren now. Louis goes to a local park, all depressed and emo over being a failure — when suddenly a stray dog sits with him. He has a heart-to-heart with the dog saying “I’m just not one of those job people you hear so much about.” I relate to this on an emotionally deep level. Within a minute, he gets the idea to start "Louis' Doggy Daycare" to hang out with dogs all day and make quick money. There’s a short montage of Louis hanging up fliers and I feel like Shia thought it was hilarious. I mean… Look at the photo on the flier, lol. 

His shirt says “I ♥ DOGS” Amazing. Not to mention, that dog is actually… smiling. The fact that Shia even posed for that photo is iconic, lol. He seems to be genuinely laughing about it here, which is great. 

Louis’ first client, Mrs. Walters, shows up with her little pooch named “Poopsy.” I love this so much. My mom and I quote this lady all the time when we talk to our own little dog. She speaks in such a strangely deep baby voice with all these dips and inflections. We always say “My little pOOOoPSEHHHH!” in her voice, lol. I can’t even explain it. She drops Poopsy off and says “Bye-bye, my preciousss!” but Louis cuts her off by saying “Please. Call me Louis.” I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!

Ren is impressed that Louis seems to’ve thought this through and is babysitting a dog. Until she sees that he’s babysitting, like.. 25 dogs.

Ren: Louis, are you crazy?! 

Louis: Crazy for canines. 

There’s a slightly annoyingly obvious pop culture reference to the famous “Dogs Playing Poker” paintings here. It’s whatever. Fine, I guess. But, it just feels like an easy idea to go with.

Now the dogs get antsy and Louis has to take them for a walk. I swear to GOD!!!! This is one of the funniest moments in the whole series. It’s so simple and stupid but I somehow die laughing every time. The dogs are too much for Louis to handle, so he eventually falls and gets dragged by the dogs. Except Louis becomes an OBVIOUS dummy, which is the point, and it’s hilarious to me.

Look at this. Just LOOK!!! The longer it loops, the funnier it gets. The fact that tiny dogs are dragging him so strongly makes it even better.

When they get back from their walk, Louis puts on The Adventures of Milo and Otis for the dogs to watch.. which is another real life reference. But tell me why all I could think of is the Jonas Brothers episode of Hannah Montana where Miley and Lily disguise themselves as... Milo and Otis... 

Around here is where we really dive into Steve and Donnie’s subplot. Which I actually think has some really strong moments. Both of these characters, especially Donnie, are so underrated. The two find the shambles of an old birdhouse dubbed “Feather-Feather Land” that they started building when Donnie was little, but never finished. They decide to start working on it again and end up completely butting heads about everything all day. Donnie thinks he’s reading the instructions for the birdhouse, but he’s actually reading the instructions for the garage door opener.. which is great. (“Didn’t you find it odd that a birdhouse would have a remote control?!”) They continue to pettily argue over every little thing. One of my favorite moments is when Donnie yells at Steve “You’re making me nervous hovering over me like that!!” To which Steve responds “I’m not hovering… I’m overseeing. At a close distance.” I use this all the time, omg. My other favorite bit is when the mood starts to become less tense and more lighthearted between them. Steve put a “vacancy” sign on the house and Donnie says “What’s with the vacancy sign, Dad? …BIRDS CAN’T READ!” It cracks me up every time. Basically, one thing leads to another and they decide to completely destroy the birdhouse for fun. It’s pretty great.

The sound of destruction coming from the basement causes the dogs to run absolutely wild. This is another montage. It ends with Poopsy completely covered in toilet paper in Ren’s room which I think is super adorable and too cute not to include here.

Louis eventually gets all of the dogs under control conveniently right before all of their owners arrive. This scene is too much. The owners show up one by one to pick up their dogs, and they’re all one-dimensional looking stereotypes??? It’s so ridiculous, lol.

One’s a punk, one’s a hippie, and that last guy is a construction worker you guys! Just in case you couldn’t tell by the fact he’s WEARING HIS HARD HAT LIKE A FASHION STATEMENT.

Louis is all proud of himself once every dog is gone and he’s raked in all the moolah. Except, all the dogs aren’t gone. Mrs. Walters shows up looking for Poopsy. Turns out lil Poopsy is missing in the house somewhere. Louis dramatically puts on a crying act and asks Ren for help with tracking the dog down. Sad violin plays and he starts talking about how Ren was always right… He is a failure. “I’m gonna be in circuses known as The Boy Who Can’t Do Anything. Step right up!! …just don't expect much.” - I love this line sooo much and the way Shia delivers it all fake-sad. Oh my god. This leads us to yet another montage of Louis distracting Mrs. Walters while Ren runs around looking for Poopsy. Obviously, they find him (yes, Poopsy is a boy) and everything’s fine. Yay!

Louis ends up spending his money on a churro machine instead, lol. I never knew what churros were before this show, and Ren’s description of “deep fried dough dipped in sugar” always makes me craaaaave churros. To this day, I still haven’t had one. I never understood how the machine works though. It doesn’t look like the kind of thing that MAKES the churros… rather, just holds them and keeps them hot. So, does Louis make them and then store them in the case??? Who knows.

Another “I ♥ ____” tshirt! That might be one too many, lol. Although, it’s probably meant to highlight Louis’ fickleness. One minute, he loves his dad. The next, he loves dogs. Now? Forget the dogs and the man who gave him life -- churros own his heart. 

So yeah! That’s the episode. This one honestly goes by lightning fast, and I think that’s because of the montages. I’ve always really enjoyed this one, though. From the Poopsy lady, to the Louis dummy, to birds not being able to read vacancy signs... I like it a lot. 

Thanks for reading! :) This review was actually really fun to write, haha. Chime in via Disqus belowww.

Twitter | Facebook | Instagram

[thepeakmoment]

More Returns

Here's a superb podcast on Peaks. May 30 is the most recent episode. A great listen. Counter Esperanto Podcast: Tangents About Twin Peaks: 10th Secret: The Return

On Tue, Jun 13, 2017 at 1:53 PM, Dom wrote: I'll check it out tonight.

So my Diane prediction was on the fucking money.

I got another theory I'm working on.

Who's the mysterious billionaire? I heard some people say it may be Audrey Horne. I heard some people say it is Jack (John Justice Wheeler). I heard some people say it is Phillip Jeffries or Evil Cooper.

Put on your tinfoil hat for this one. The Billionaire is Leo Johnson. He lived through his spider ordeal. Then he took everything that Windom left behind (notes, computer files, other assorted Windom things) and built a criminal empire. I find it very hard to believe that the fucking casting director's son who was in the 1st two seasons and the fucking movie is NOT in this one.

The secret history of twin peaks tells us what happens to a bunch of characters like Leo. For instance Hank dies in prison. But not one word in the book about Leo? I got to believe that he lives and he’s not just a slobbering fool any more. I know this is probably not going to happen. But that's my theory.

I cannot imagine Leo is a rich billionaire — how did he make his money? A theory that makes sense I’ve heard on EW TP podcast that it could be BOB-Cooper attempting to catch Good Cooper if he ever left the Lodge. But really, I have no idea… not as of end of P7.

I like how Lynch-Frost are using all official Twin Peaks releases as canon to draw the narrative from — Laura’s Diary, FWWM, Missing Pieces of blu-ray edition, as well as many classic episode threads.

And like Erik, I KNOW, that Sheriff Harry S. Truman will make an appearance in this season. I feel it in my bones.

It’s looking grim for Harry — or rather, it sounds grim from Frank saying to Harry, “beat this thing.” But actually I can see Ontkean coming out of retirement to have a role toward the end of the series. I also (want to) believe Josie returning … maybe she’s the billionaire, but why would she make such a contraption mounted to the side of building?

On Sun, Jun 25, 2017 at 2:26 AM, Erik wrote: Good Morning Gents. Grab a cup a joe and settle down a minute. I got some backed up information for yous … << Starts Tape Recorder…. >>

Spot on is right Mr Domi. You got that Diane was Laura Dern AND that she drinks at the Pub we went to. I even want to say she is seated in the area of the bar that we were sitting at that night.  Glad it wasn't raining when we went, "FUCK Gene Kelly, You mother fucker!!" LOL I love Albert, he is my favorite this season. (Location: Max Von's Bar = Casey's Irish Pub, 619 South Grand, LA)

So Episode 7 should have shut up all those whiner's and complainer's of Ep 6. There was a lot of hate on the internet, and even in our FB Group, about that episode. I was ok with it. I did not like the scene with the kid getting hit by the truck, but the scene ended with the Fat Trout Telephone pole, so I'm ok with it.

"Lynch has gotten flak for the male gaze in his work, but the problems go a lot deeper than lingering shots on female anatomy.…” Laura Hudson in Vulture.

Also in EP 6 we finally got two major new pieces of music from Angelo, not his best work, but still great to hear.  The overall lack of his music is my biggest complaint this season in case I didn't make that clear.

When Johnny Jewel's Windswept first appeared, I thought that was Badalamenti  finally debuting new music. I was definitely disappointed it was not Angelo, no disrespect to Johnny. But I agree with you Erik about no AB original score. That music is what made classic Peaks so memorable. I don’t get why Lynch is using such popular music. There really wan’t any such tracks in FWWM, it was Angelo’s music and further cemented Peaks as evergreen. Lynch is acting like Scorcese in the epic cinematic story… and he doesn’t need to. Marty did not have a Badalamenti in his arsenal. Lynch does. Please use him.

EP 7...There's a body alright.. is definitely the shit. Now we are cooking. Jerry!!!! Come out of it man... Lets get Ben and Jerry back in action, not disfunction. The diary pages, Annie's message from FWWM, Leland hiding pages, DIANE from hell! ... Bringing it all back home.

There’s a dark undercurrent with Diane and Cooper. All signs are indicating something very bad happened to Diane. I think BOB-Cooper raped her.

I wonder where Frank Truman was at the time of Laura's murder? He says he remembers Leland, her father, did it, but is not really familiar with the case. BUT why the heck is Frank not asking "So what is "the Lodge" you keep talking about?” Hawk?

The way Hawk talks so knowledgable about both Lodges and the way Frank does not question or disbelieve him, then it must be common knowledge among the indigenous culture. Wonder if Frank is a Bookhouse Boy?

Ancient Doc Hayward, kinda sad, but he was still funny. Did you catch his Skype name?  MiddleburyDoc... Warren Frost was actually living in VT right? They probably actually did just Skype him and screen capture it…lol

I caught that right away about Warren Frost’s Skype handle. And no doubt, Frost stayed in Vermont to do his scene. That just recorded the screen.… I do miss Briggs. Yet he died long before Lynch-Frost’s three-year tenure writing the new story, they had plenty of time to work the presence of him into the story.

Briggsy.. Oh Major Briggs. how we miss thee. Should be interesting how this plays out. And When the hell are we going to go back to I bet the road where Andy is waiting to meet the Truck owner is up there at Frankln Canyon Pond.

The Dog Leg.... WTF?  Is Joe McCluskey the guy that rigged the car and Mr C Killed earlier on? I do think the Psycho Little guy with the Ice Pick and Gun is kinda silly. Over the top for no reason.  Oh well.… It's kinda silly also that no one has taken Dougie to the Doctor. Everyone just plays along. we have to suspend disbelief I guess.

OMG enough with the guy sweeping at the Roadhosue. Is this all the extra time he told Shotime he needed more money for to tell the story properly?  lol and more music used in hundreds of shows and commercials. I love Booker T and the MGs don't get me wrong, but ... UGH I miss you Angelo... Also... Kinda weird to see Jean Michel... Did Jacque Renault have a twin brother? lol Mr. C and Ray getting out of Prison.. Bad stuff gonna happen. I think they might have used San Bernadino County Jail for this locaton. The Cell block Cooper is located on looks familar.  I will compare some screen grabs from my Locaton and Publicity Photos we took for Beyond Scared Straight at that jail.

And beause they needed to pad the ending to get to the alloted running time... Back to the RR Diner for the end scene, and yet another over-used stock song they probably had to pay more to use than what they paid Angelo for everything. Plus, I liked that song better when they used it in the X-files episode “Home" but No, I'm not bitter.

General notes: Glad Naomi Watts has such a big part. She really owns her scenes. Wish Jennifer Jason Leigh was more present but Mr C just left Jail for somewhere... It's slightly brilliant how Lynch (but probably Frost came up with it) still has made Harry a character in the show. even if only on the phone and never even heard. I feel like Harry is there kinda. Also brilliant... Robert Forrester.... wow. Wish he was in the original or the movie. Not sure how I feel with Dern as Diane. I'll go with it and see what happens.

Outstanding questions for me....(cause I haven't been reading blogs or listening to podcasts)

What is up with all the Arthurian Legend references? Dougie lives on Lancalot Court, down the street from the Merlin Market. Janey-E meets for the ransom drop on the corner of Gueneivere and Merlin. And of course, Glastonbury Grove... Pete Martel: "King Arthur's burried in England!"

Why is it when Dougie puts his thumb up or his hand out to shake, he turns his body 180 degrees?

What is up with the creepy guy (from Mulholland Diner scene) in the Vegas Office? I can't seem to catch his meaning in the story line.

What is up with Cooper's Room Key from the Great Northern? If has finally made it back to Ben Horne...Soooo?

One last question... Did Lynch quit smoking?  He made two references to people (Gordon Cole even) quitting. Did we ever even see Cole smoke in the series or movie? weird for him to say he quit when the character never smoked on camera. "You think about that Tammy."

On Jun 25, 2017, at 4:29 PM, Dom wrote: I think Frank Truman was a police officer in Seattle during Laura's investigation if I remember the book correctly. But I think that a "Sheriff Truman" has been in power for over 60 consecutive years now between the 2 brothers and their father. It sort of like there must always be a Stark in Winterfell.

To my knowledge that was the first time ever we have heard name Joe McCluskey. I have no clue who that is. But I have a feeling we will learn.

Yea, I don’t recollect Joe McCluskey. Gotta watch again to see if he first appears or is mentioned earlier.

I think Ike the Spike is either from the black lodge or an agent of the black lodge. Remember he smelled "funny" per the little girl.

Spike did look a little monstery, his teeth especially.

I actually loved that scene of the sweeping. I could just imagine everyone watching was freaking out and I enjoyed that. And I thought that Walter did some great acting while on the phone as Jean-Michel. "He owes me for two!"

That ending scene from the RR diner was weird as shit. Its either the worst continuity error of all time or something truly weird happened there. Completely different set of people dining there after David Lynch's son runs in and asks if anyone has seen Billy.

Lynch did not quit smoking. He, like Harry Dean are lifers.

Both Laura Dern and Naomi Watts are killing their roles. Both doing a fantastic job. I just cannot wait to see them come face to face over Dougie.

And MacLachlan! All his Cooper iterations are really well done. I love that BOB-Cooper character. Can’t wait to see what trouble he kicks up now!

My new tin foil theory is that we may be dealing with 2 Twin Peaks. Twins of each other if you will. I'm still working this one out. Different versions of the same town in different universes a part of a greater multiverse?

Did you notice Andy was wearing a rolex? Kind of weird.

…And he was supposed to meet the guy at 4:30. Is that one of the numbers from ????? ?

The guy from the Vegas office is working directly for Phillip Jeffries or whoever is pretending to be him IMO.

Don’t overlook the black soot guy walking in the hallway toward the female FBI agent in the morgue. I think it’s related to the guy next to Bill Hastings cell.…

Lots of Arthurian Legend stuff from way back when. I never got that. But its seems to be very important. I would love to go to Merlin's Market.

During the end credits from the last episode buried in the music is Windham Earle's theme mixed into the background too!!!!!

I might try headphones for tonight’s part to see exactly what sounds I miss. I know there’s a lot of low audible noise and rumbling that I don’t hear when our apartment is 86º and the fan is going.…

On Jun 25, 2017, at 8:10 PM, Dom wrote: Some last minute thoughts...

Yeah I agree about MacLachlan is killing it and should win an Emmy for best actor. Black soot guy is awesome and its the same dude for sure from the jail cell. Some people seem to think we have seen him a third time as a homeless man outside of Vegas at the Rachera Rosa is whatever it is called. I don't think that we did. I will need to re-watch that again. Another tin foil hat theory. On those three pages from Laura's diary she refers to knowing who it is and that its not Bob. At least everyone thinks she is referencing Leland. That is probably most right. However I am thinking that she is referring to an evil more powerful and sadistic than even Bob.Like whatever came out of the glass box and mutilated those younglings.

On Jun 25, 2017, at 8:17 PM, Erik wrote: > "Yea, I don’t recollect Joe McCluskey."

I am thinking if the guy in the diner eating food non-stop the whole scene with Ray and the chick Mr C shot in the head.  Just before he kills her, he tells her "i killed joe, and the she freaks out, knowing the gig is up.   The previous scene the eating guy "joe" does something to a car in storage and then cooper like squeezes his face for a whole minute.   Could be McCluskey?

> "Lynch did not quit smoking."

Well, its mighty fine of him to send a non smoking message to all the youths. Considering Cole does not smoke, it is a conscious message.

> "All his Cooper iterations are really well done."

Yes, Kyle will def get an Emmy nomination. Dern and Watts will also I predict.  

> “RR diner was weird as shit. Its either the worst continuity error of all time or something truly weird happened there.”

There are no accidents on a Lynch set. If an error occurs and he likes it he will use it. So who knows why he did it. On the same level as the windows  flashing code on the FBI jet.  He is throwing out decoys i feel.  

> “then it (the Lodge) must be common knowledge among the indigenous culture.”

Then why the heck is Truman not like "well lets go up there" nor does Hawk tell him he was up in those woods when Log Lady last called.

> “Don’t overlook the black soot guy walking in the hallway”

Nope, I did not mention him cause i consider it another decoy.  Kinda like the shambling being behind the diner in Mulholland Drive...never came up again. i am sure he will play a part at some point.  

But i did forget to mention the playing card Mr. C  showed the girl in the hotel bed before he shoots her.  Aliens? Very well could be.

Have a good viewing. The damn internet saying EP 8 is extra noteworthy. Could it be Phillip Jeffries? Windom Earl?  More Leland and Laura? (I actually doubt we will see either of them again).  Audrey? Big Ed? They got plenty of options.

Cheers! ~G

Sent from the Black Lodge.