#it's kinda disappointing how completely Norwegian we are. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anyon-else · 2 years ago

Text

Skin-Scarred and Buried Deep (The Red Room pt.5) | The mission had seemed much simpler in theory, but facing a past that you hadn't even known existed created unexpected roadblocks (Marvel AU) – spotify playlist | read on ao3

Pairings | Kakashi Hatake x Black Widow!Reader + Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Orochimaru (mentioned), Hiruzen Sarutobi (mentioned)

Warnings | female!reader, angst, hurt/comfort (kinda), fluff? idk if it can be considered fluff but it's something for sure, SOME BONDING FINALLY, discussion of violence, torture, conditioning, mentions of brainwashing, descriptions of violence, blood, cursing, murder

Word count | 4.7k

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

"If I relaxed my body now, I'd fall apart. I've always lived like this, and it's the only way I know how to go on living. If I relaxed for a second, I'd never find my way back. I'd go to pieces, and the pieces would be blown away."

Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

Traitor.

The word dripped into the crevices of your mind, filling up the space where a numb emptiness hadn't taken residence.

Your hands hadn't stopped shaking since you'd found the bunker. You'd opened it for the enemy, and all of your instincts were screaming at you to keep him out.

This mission with Kakashi meant more than simply escaping the Red Room. It was a complete and utter betrayal. Now, you were not only a fugitive, but a Judas.

It made you want to take a knife to your hand. To inflict the appropriate punishment upon yourself since there was no one else there to do it for you.

No one told you that freedom was just going to feel like a new set of shackles.

"Maa," Kakashi's voice snapped you out of your spiraling thoughts, "don't zone out on me now."

A disappointed sense of being useless swelled in your chest; you had been staring at the keypad that would get you into the archives for at least a minute now, unmoving and floating somewhere between past and present. One moment, it was Kakashi behind you, a bored and unthreatening presence in your peripheral. The next, Orochimaru was looming over you, disappointed that he had raised such a failure.

A murmured apology didn't seem to reassure Kakashi that you had pulled yourself from the cage that your thoughts had formed around your consciousness. You could feel his frustration at your idle movements as he stood at your back, waiting with a thin veil of patience for you to simply open a door.

And as much as you wanted to fault him for rushing you, you felt the same frustration with yourself. If you were going to get pulled into the past every time something reminded you of it, then you were going to be more of an obstacle to Kakashi—and Sakura—than an asset.

"Look, just..." Kakashi started, but trailed off. This was beyond him; he couldn't read your mind, and he didn't know enough about your past to try and understand what was going on in your head.

He was kneeling next to you, and you let yourself focus on his decidedly non-Orochimaru-like presence to keep you grounded. He was much more relaxed than your former caretaker, hands hanging on his knees, head tilted, and eyes the picture of unfocused boredom. That was an expression you had never seen on Orochimaru. You hadn't seen it on anyone. It was an unfamiliar, oxymoronic feature that was probably unique to Kakashi.

"Do you have an attention issue or something? I thought you were supposed to be a spy."

The scowl that you shot him was met with an unimpressed stare.

"Excuse me for being a little bit distracted with you breathing down my neck, asshole."

"I wouldn't be breathing down your neck if you would hurry it up. Didn't you say this was the easy part?"

"I'm pretty sure I said the opposite."

"You said it was the least hard. I thought that meant it would take less than ten minutes. Are we going to grow old here?"

With another insult caught on the tip of your tongue, you realized that Kakashi had become fully Kakashi again instead of the half-Kakashi half-Orochimaru hybrid that he had been when you were stuck in your memories. You blinked at him, wondering tensely if you would open your eyes and see Orochimaru's crooked smirk instead of Kakashi's mask. Multiple blinks later, Kakashi was still looking at you with that same unimpressed stare.

"Your ability to lose focus amazes me."

You scowled at him, though the effort to feel any real contempt melted away when you realized that he'd temporarily snapped you out of your panicked haze. Maybe that infuriating aloofness that usually made you want to deck him was actually good for something.

"Whatever. Just give me a minute to think."

"I've given you several minutes."

The easiest thing to do (after knocking him flat on his ass, but that wouldn't bode well in the way of cooperation) was to ignore him, and to turn off the part of your mind that insisted on resurfacing old, forgotten memories. Instead, you tried to remember the feeling of desperation that had helped you survive in the Red Room. The feeling that leaving any mission incomplete would result in punishment. You tried to locate the switch that Sakura had somehow managed to turn off four years ago.

You turned the Widow back on, and she understood her orders.

The code you needed to get in was, to Orochimaru's credit, not easy to get a hold of. As with every code-protected door under HYDRA's jurisdiction, the six-digit key changed monthly. It was randomly generated, and Orochimaru only had access to the ones associated with the Red Room. Those were given to him by hand to avoid leaving a digital trail behind. Secrecy like that was especially important when HYDRA was still a weed growing in the cracks of post-war SHIELD. Now, the secrecy was more of a habit than anything else.

As soon as Kabuto had proven himself as Orochimaru's right-hand, the task of retrieving said codes was given to him.

Kabuto met with a delegate from HYDRA once a month, and information was exchanged. Kabuto received entry codes, records of girls—of babies whose parents were willing to give them up and put them in Orochimaru's care—and orders for Orochimaru and his Widows. In exchange, Kabuto gave HYDRA's main branch records on the Widows—how many were improving beyond expectation, how many were in the field, and what level of control they could help HYDRA gain.

It was an archaic system, but it had worked for decades now, and there was no point in fixing something that provided an extra layer of security.

Intercepting HYDRA's messenger had been easy. Uncomfortably easy.

You wanted to blame it on HYDRA becoming sloppy, but that was highly unlikely.

You had known from the sour look on Kakashi's face after you copied down the codes that he'd had the same thought as you. When it came to HYDRA, nothing was coincidence, and anything that was too easy was probably too good to be true.

Always assume the worst. That was how you had survived. And based on what you'd seen, it was probably how Kakashi had survived too.

The codes were, ironically, also in code. It was the standardized encryption that HYDRA used, and you were taught it fairly early in your training. Widows who were not ready for high-level missions were given assignments focused on retrieving information. This bunker, for example, would've been the site of one such mission if Orochimaru had any use for it. But a man so interested in progress wanted little to do with a bunker dripping in information about the past.

That was another risk you had been considering. It was unlikely that any Widows would be sent here, let alone at the same time as you, but that was assuming Orochimaru didn't know where you were. And that was a dangerous assumption to make.

The Widow shut down your paranoid thoughts and put her one-track mind to use on the code. Kakashi seemed to notice the shift and took a step back, leaning against the far wall and pulling a book from his jacket.

Kakashi's expectations had been infuriatingly exact, and you tried to ignore his smug look when you finally entered the correct code exactly ten minutes after you'd started working. The door opened with a creak.

The archives looked untouched. Dust had settled in a thick blanket over the dozens of boxes, and the drag of the door against the concrete floor had created a dust-free semi-circle that gave you a clear picture of how long it had been since someone was here. Each step you took left an imprint of your shoes in the floor, and you added clearing those footprints to your ever-growing list of tasks.

"Where do we start?" Kakashi asked behind you, looking around at the rows of boxes with disdain.

You stepped up to the ones closest to the entrance, running a finger over the date written on the front of it. 1960. The dates were likely the only things that wouldn't be code-protected.

"The Red Room was founded before the Cold War," you said quietly, thinking back to the early days of your training when you'd been taught about HYDRA's history, "at first, HYDRA wasn't exactly in the business of breeding spies. During World War II, when they gained more power, soldiers were more in demand. The war was being fought on the ground, so HYDRA threw their resources into strength. They were building an empire and fighting a war at the same time. Things were messy, and growth was valued over intricacy."

You could feel Kakashi's eyes on your back, and you wondered how much of this he already knew. Now that HYDRA had been exposed, its secrets spread for all to see, a lot of this was probably public information. You'd never had much in the way of internet access, but you knew enough from the frenzy that had taken place in the months following HYDRA's near-collapse about what had and hadn't been released.

But despite the setback resulting from the leak, HYDRA continued to expand. Growth had always been the organization's strong-suit. Even before one head was cut off, two more had already begun growing.

But the symbol of the HYDRA had always seemed wrong to you. Instead of something so powerful and dominating, you thought of something hidden. Something that grew like an itch you couldn't scratch, or an unidentifiable ache in the body. Like a parasite.

"The Cold War was different. HYDRA needed spies, but more than that, they needed loyalty. Orochimaru's predecessor, Sarutobi, created the Red Room as a solution.

"Sarutobi wasn't interested in mind-control. Loyalty, of course, was created in cruel ways, but the original twenty-three Widows still had their free-will. From what I've heard of him, he was kinder than Orochimaru. Not kind, but not soulless. When Orochimaru succeeded him, his mission became to amend the faults he saw in the system that Sarutobi had created. What that meant was stripping us of our free will without us realizing it."

And now he's succeeded, you almost said. But the look on Kakashi's face told you that mentioning Sakura now would've been doing more harm than good. Instead, you followed the dates from 1960, when Sarutobi first established the Red Room, to 1990, when Orochimaru took control.

"This is where we'll start," you pulled out the box marked "January 1990" with a grimace. It was heavier than you'd imagined, and filled with a lot more than you'd hoped, "I don't know exactly what we're looking for, but Orochimaru has been experimenting with mind control since before he took over. It's his obsession. And if there are any records on how to reverse it, this is where we should start looking."

The boxes loomed over you in stacks, piled on shelves until they reached the ceiling. It was a daunting task, but it was better than the alternative. Better than receiving orders from Orochimaru.

Is it? the Widow asked. What are you without him?

You ignored her. She fell silent.

You hadn't slept in thirty-six hours.

It felt like a necessary sacrifice, but calling it a sacrifice seemed a little bit dramatic. Among the many experiments that Orochimaru conducted on his Widows to try and create the perfect spy, one included seeing how long someone could be kept awake until total shut down. No one died during those experiments, and no drugs were used to try and stimulate the brain, but it hadn't been pretty.

You'd been one of the test subjects, once upon a time. It was punishment, but you don't remember what you'd done to deserve it.

Regardless, you were no stranger to missed nights of sleep. You felt your body screaming at you for reprieve, but you fought back harder and kept your eyes open out of pure spite. If you didn't, precious time was wasted. For all you knew, Sakura was already lost to you.

Leaving time to rest was not an option.

You always felt it when Kakashi was looking at you. He seemed to be thinking about your lack of sleep as well, as his gaze was annoyingly concerned, but evidently not enough to say anything. He was worried about the issue of time too. But he also saw the deep and growing bags under your eyes. He saw you falter as you brought boxes out from the archive and into the tent that he'd set up at the tree-line a few yards from the ground entrance to the bunker. He saw your hands shaking when you set them down.

He felt selfish for not doing anything about it. But with Sakura in danger, he had to trust that you had her best interest in mind. Even if her best interest was detrimental to yours.

It's your choice, he tried to tell himself, you're an adult. You're perfectly capable of deciding when and when not to sleep. You have your role, and he has his.

He glanced at the growing pile of decoded documents, written too quickly to be considered neat, but legible enough that he was able to read through them with ease. And he had. He'd read through everything that you decoded, leaving him to do the mental work of sorting through what was on the page while you just focused on each word as an isolated puzzle.

Nothing significant so far. Not so much as a mention of Orochimaru's experiments.

Three days without sleep, and you had nothing to show for it.

Now he was the one getting distracted. He glanced at the setting sun with a sigh, lamenting another day gone with nothing useful showing itself in the hundreds of files that you'd sorted through. It felt like a waste.

He leaned back and glanced at where you had been working for the better part of two days, now empty. You'd gone for the next set of files...when was it? The sun hadn't been going down.

He realized with a chill that nearly an hour had gone by, and he'd been too wrapped up in the files you'd given him and his own anxious thoughts to notice.

He stood, pushing the papers aside with little care about where they ended up. It took him about five seconds to start moving, and in that time, his thought process was as follows:

The tent that he had set up before you started working was deliberately placed to be hidden from anyone not looking for it. If someone was searching specifically for the bunker, chances were that they wouldn't see the tent unless they ventured into the woods.

You'd been gone for at least an hour, but no one had found him. This left two likely options: you had passed out from exhaustion in the bunker, or you had been compromised and refused to sell him out.

The former meant that he needed to get to the bunker and make sure you hadn't hit your head and bled out in the bunker. The latter meant that he would be compromised as well unless he abandoned the bunker and got back to the compound to regroup.

He paused for a split second to glance at his escape route. It would've meant abandoning you and facing Sakura alone. But if you really had been captured, then going after you would only result in both of you dying.

He hoped he wasn't making a mistake. He hoped that his reluctant trust in you was worth this risk.

The field that surrounded the bunker was empty, but he knew better than to assume that it was safe. If Orochimaru had found out what you were doing, then he'd probably sent Widows. Widows who had been trained in stealth since the moment they could walk.

He waited at the ground entrance of the bunker and held his breath, listening for voices or footsteps or anything else that would suggest that you weren't alone. But all he heard was rustling pages and the frantic, familiar scratch of pencil on paper.

He was careful as he crept down the ladder and through the door that led into the archives. He kept his guard up even after he had scanned the room and found that you were not only alone, but completely conscious.

Instead of relief, anger swelled in his chest. He released it in a deep, unsettled sigh and approached you with heavy steps to alert you of his approach.

Surrounding you was a mess of photos, coded documents, and your translated versions. You knelt in the middle, reading over the information that you had just finished scribbling down. He couldn't tell what was going on in your head from your expression, but you looked moments from keeling over. Your head lulled to the side just a bit too much to be natural, and it looked like your eyes were open through sheer willpower rather than any excess energy. He thought about how long the mission had been so far and concluded that it had been nearly forty-eight hours since you'd slept.

"You've been busy," he muttered.

You should've heard him, but you didn't look up. It didn't feel like you were ignoring him. Instead, he got the sense that you just weren't processing what he was saying. All of your energy was focused on the words in front of you; anything else was just a distraction.

When he knelt down, you finally looked up. He realized with a start that there were dried tear stains on your cheeks.

"I found..." you whispered, then swallowed when your voice came out a cracked, shaking mess. It had been nearly ten hours since you'd last spoken. Almost eight since you'd taken a drink of water, "Sorry. I didn't mean to be gone so long."

Kakashi looked down at the picture that you were holding. In it was a man and a woman, both with bullet wounds in their chests and both lying dead in a street. The picture was clearly taken with a decent camera, and Kakashi could just make out a yellow evidence marker in the corner of the photo. A crime scene, then.

"Who are they?"

"My parents."

There were a few seconds of silence as Kakashi processed hearing it and you processed saying it, both of you staring at the picture like it would start moving if you just looked at it long enough.

He was trying to read the writing on your mother's shirt to keep himself occupied when you pushed another photo in his direction. This one was of a girl, probably only one or two years old, staring at the camera with dead eyes that had likely seen far too much for someone who had barely begun walking.

"That's me," you told him, tone almost casual.

He felt that ruminating on the photo of your younger-self wouldn't do you much good, so he pointed at your notes instead. "What's all this?"

"My childhood," you responded easily. Kakashi looked at you warily. It seemed that an hour had been enough time for you to detach yourself from your discoveries. You'd already escaped back into the protective shell that he was becoming very familiar with.

He amended that thought when you handed him one of the pages with a trembling hand.

"Orochimaru didn't...take us. The Widows were given to him by families who had no other options. He offered them one, and then paid them for their silence. Legally speaking, none of the Widows exist."

Kakashi ignored the voice in the back of his mind telling him that this was wasting time that they needed to be using to save Sakura. He shoved it down until it was nothing but the faintest whisper, and he listened to you.

"My parents weren't the ones who gave me up. My grandparents...essentially kidnapped me, and they gave me to Orochimaru. They promised that they would keep my parents from finding out where they had taken me, but I guess they were weaker than they'd let on. My parents were on Orochimaru's doorstep barely a week later. They wanted me back."

Kakashi looked down at the paper you had given, and at the details written down that essentially confirmed everything you were saying. And then, at the bottom of the page–

"He killed them."

The words were spoken with forced emptiness, but there was something else behind them. Something that you were trying desperately to keep covered. When he looked at you, he saw the same attempt to hide in your eyes. In the tight line that your mouth had become. Forced indifference told him more than genuine anger would have.

"Orochimaru raised us to believe that the world had given up on us. That we were only worth something because he had found us. We were left by the people who were supposed to take care of us, but he gave us a second chance. It was like...like a transaction. We gave everything to him, and in exchange, he made us worth something. What that really meant was that, without him, we had no purpose and no meaning.

"When I met Sakura, I realized that the world wasn't about trade-offs like that. That love didn't have to come at a price."

When you glanced at him, he got the feeling that you were deciding whether or not to continue. What you saw must have been encouragement enough to keep going.

"She told me about you. How you took her in when she had nothing to give back to you. And I realized that the world had to be better than what I'd been raised to believe.

"And now–" your voice cracked, and Kakashi set the paper down. He looked at you and hoped that you knew he was listening. That, even if this was the only time you'd ever be able to bear saying this out loud, he'd heard you. And he would remember, "Someone wanted me. And they didn't want me to fight to earn their love. They would've just...given it to me."

He watched you carefully as you tried to stand, eyes faraway and empty. He stood with you, reaching out when you stumbled on your way to the next set of boxes. You stepped over the scattered papers, and his eyes caught sight of another picture of a child, one he assumed was you. You were just a baby, held up for the picture by Orochimaru himself.

You stopped in front of the box you needed, but you'd barely begun pulling it out when you staggered and slumped forward. Kakashi caught you with an arm around your waist before you could fall face-first into the shelves.

You were plaint in his arms, and while the lack of resistance should've been concerning, he was more relieved than anything. At the very least, you'd be forced to get a few hours of sleep.

He pressed two fingers against your jaw to keep your head from moving as he lifted you up from under your knees, though movement likely wouldn't have made a difference. You were out cold, completely drained from the consecutive days you'd spent working. Still, he paused when you shifted in his arms, looking down to make sure that you hadn't woken up.

"You don't know when to quit," he muttered. Damn you for making him worry. He hated it. He needed a break from it after six years of it eating away at him while Sakura was in the Red Room.

But he supposed it wasn't your fault. In actuality, you'd tried your hardest to make him hate you.

The tent only had one sleeping bag laid out on the side that he'd claimed for himself. Yours was void of anything except the bundled coat that you'd been sitting on and the scatter of papers surrounding it. The water bottle that he'd set beside you that morning was unopened, he noticed. He scowled at you and hoped that his disdain found its way into your dreams.

With no other options and a laziness that made opening the other sleeping bag seem like an impossible task, he settled you into his blankets and covered you. It wasn't the most comfortable arrangement he'd ever set up for himself, but you were probably too deep in sleep to notice. At least you had a decent pillow.

There wasn't much for him to do while you slept; he'd gone over everything twice, and without you decoding more for him to read, he was essentially useless. He considered going outside and keeping watch, maybe doing laps at the edge of the forest to burn off some of his nervous energy from before, but he just stood at your side, hesitant to leave you defenseless. He watched the even rise and fall of your chest as you slept. There was a peaceful look on your face that he had never seen before.

With a sigh and a moment's hesitation, he sat at your side and pulled out a book, trying to focus on it rather than on the expression on your face when you'd told him about your parents.

It only took a few hours for your face to twist uncomfortably. It was subtle, but Kakashi perked up at the movement. He knew the beginning of a nightmare like the back of his hand. Never-mind that he got them frequently; he'd been helping all three of the kids cope with them for years.

Whenever they got nightmares, Sakura and Naruto both liked knowing that there was someone in the room with them while they slept. Generally that meant that they would fall asleep while he brushed through their hair, a constant reminder that they weren't alone.

Sasuke liked being talked to sleep, though he'd never admit it. Sometimes he would sleep on the couch in the common area, and Kakashi always knew that meant he was having a bad night. On those nights, Kakashi would pick up a book and read aloud until he was sure that Sasuke was asleep.

Your hand tightening into a fist around the blanket covering you snapped him out of his thoughts. He wasn't sure what would help; you didn't seem averse to physical touch, but he'd only seen you touch Sakura. He wasn't confident that he would get the same treatment.

Still, you wouldn't blame him for trying. Hopefully.

He sat near your head and reached a hand out awkwardly. It had been one thing to do this with his kids; when they began confiding in him about their nightmares, they'd been comfortable around him. He'd made them feel safe. You were still wary even turning your back to him, much less letting him this close while you were unconscious.

But you were still twisting and turning, and your mumbling was becoming more coherent.

"No, stop," you muttered, repeating it over and over like a prayer. Kakashi thought of those same, pleading words coming from Sasuke as he dreamt of his brother.

He brushed his fingers lightly over your head. The memory of running gentle hands through Sakura's hair came to mind. She always leaned against his thigh in her sleep, subconsciously moving closer to him during the night. He tried to remember the same, soothing touch he used that always gave her a restful nights sleep. His fingers moved over the skin of your scalp gently, careful not to wake you with too much pressure.

A few minutes after, he was silently and absentmindedly going through the familiar motions. In that time, your anxious muttering had quieted, and he didn't think he was mistaken when he noticed that your body was relaxed. He felt a strange swell of pride when he saw that peaceful expression back on your face.

Part of him wondered if you would ever feel that kind of contentedness when you were awake. As he sat and did his best to keep you from falling back into your nightmares, he wondered if he'd be able to see it one day.

(previous chapter) | (next chapter) | (series masterlist)

Author's note | full disclosure: i am only on season four of the og naruto series, so i don't have a lot of context for kakashi's backstory and stuff like that, but i do have the bare bones. i want to include it, but it might be later than expected because i don't know what it entails lmao. anyways, i'm so happy with this chapter, and i had a lot of fun writing it, so i hope y'all enjoy. also apologies for the slow updates. midterms season is intense.

sorry for the long note but i also changed some things in the prev. chapters, so if you're someone who's invested in plot things i'd recommend rereading chapter 2.

title is from "Cartwheel" by Lucy Dacus

#kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi x you #kakashi x y/n #kakashi imagine #kakashi hatake #kakashi hatake x reader #kakashi hatake x you #kakashi hatake x y/n #kakashi hatake imagine #naruto #trr #emwrites

51 notes · View notes

nordic-language-love · 2 years ago

Photo

2022 Plans and Goals: Review

Let’s have a look at my goals and see how they went!

1. Pass the Bergenstest ✅

I did indeed! And I got C1 overall. The goal I’ve had in Norwegian for years is finally ticked off :D

2. Pull all my skills up to C1 level ✅

Technically I got B2 on the writing sections of the Bergenstest, but I'd got C1 on all my practice papers and think I could’ve got C1 had I actually slept the night before and remembered to take a drink into the exam. And given I got C1 everywhere else, I think I can tick this one off! That being said, I think my writing has maybe dipped back down towards B2 because I don’t practise at the moment. But hey, I don’t mind; I know I can pull it back up to C1 if I work on it.

3. Complete Norwegian Tutor and Enjoy Norwegian textbooks ❌

Wow yeah this did not happen in the slightest, I think I did half a chapter of Enjoy Norwegian? Whoops.

4. Intensively study another language for 3 months (?) ✅

I wouldn’t say I studied Japanese intensively, as such, but I did go pretty hard. This goal was more about adding a new language into my schedule, so I’m marking it as done.

5. Move out of my current house ❎

We’re still here, but things have changed. For one thing, I’m now the sole owner of it (I was previously a joint owner) and my boyfriend and I are very much looking to sell it by the end of 2023. Of course, I’ll be in Japan in 2023, so it’s not like I’ll be living in this house for much longer. Fingers crossed we can get the house sold and find our new home before/shortly after I get back!

6. Learn to fan dance properly ❎

Uhhh yeah I didn’t exactly work on this like I wanted to. I set myself some mini-goals and achieved none of them lmao. But I did do my first ever choreographed routine and I feel like I improved overall, so I’m marking this as ‘kinda’.

7. Go to the dentist ❌

I tried. I can’t believe how bad dental care in the UK is (you know that stereotype that Brits have bad teeth? It’s actually kinda true, and now I know why!) Not a single NHS dentist taking new patients in my city, or for 50+ miles around me. Which would’ve meant having to pay, and that shit’s expensive. I’m so fucking disappointed in the UK honestly.

8. Prioritise my health more ❌

I had a really good run in July/August/September. Then I got covid, everything went to shit and I’m even worse than before. Idk what I weigh or my fat % right now but it’s worse than this time last year for sure. Oh well, hopefully I’ll get into some good habits when I’m in Japan.

So that’s 3/8 achieved, 2/8 kinda achieved and 3/8 not achieved. If I give myself half a point for each ‘kinda achieved’ goal, I achieved 50% of my goals. Could be better, could be worse. Time to look ahead to 2023!

#goals #2022 #2022 goals #year review

16 notes · View notes

bbgmessi · 2 years ago

Note

O!Erling and A! Odegaard enjoying a lazy Saturday Morning:

Martin is frustrated after yesterday's game and feels like he failed his team despite his trying his best. Man City is quickly climbing the ladder behind Arsenal, and Erling(though elated) is understanding of his boyfriend's feelings

He gets up early and makes him a breakfast in bed with all his fav things.

(IDK much about Norwegian food Lefse was very good but I have the weirdest food preferences so you help me w what you think Martin would like but whatever it is Erling makes it)

(do swedish ppl and norwegian ppl eat similar food? Sorry for the proximity bias lol)

Martin is upset at first waking up alone

But he hears his man in the kitchen and calms himself down

I headcannon Erling doesn’t like breakfast food so maybe he makes himself a mini pizza

Erling’s hatred of breakfast would always make martin laugh bc its very out of character for him

Erling bringing up the food

They are silent until theyre half way done w their meal

Alot to unpack

Some media sources contributing their shit performance due to his “distraction” aka his relationship w Erling

A LOAD of online hate from supporters and opponents

Fans worried Erling is tryng to sabotage him mentally so Arsenal fumbles the league

Opponents just saying this is what happens when you sleep w S*ts

Live love twitter trolls you know.

Erling reaffirms that he was the heart of the game and that he did his best

Real fans still love him and if he wants to do better he needs to keep his head up

Martin in turn checking on haaland bc of the missed pk

Erling’s dm’s always weird b/c 50% normal hate

Like ppl saying hes a machine and he ran out of oil and thats why he missed the shot (Completely igoring his other goal)

Others saying its an example of omegas craking underpressure

Hyperanlysing the kick and saying its indicative of a bad future

Despite the fact that its like the only goal he’s missed????

Twats

Some fans want an end to their relationship bc it stresses THEM out as if Erling’s personal life is their business

The Erling are Marting are in love and trolls wont change that

Martin is very appreciative of his boyfriend’s gesture and he show it.

The two usually have such strict schedules but for now they’ll relax with their food and a harry potter marathon (I see them adopting a yellow lab so perhaps their dog is in bed watching with them.

ok before answering the hcs i’m so fascinated by u anon when did u try lefse ❤️ we do eat some similar food but not all but also i like to hand wave around it and claim scandinavian privilege for fic purposes❤️ (sometimes i just make up what fits my ideas best. it’s my universe now)

martin knowing disappointment so well, he’s lost enough games with norway, spent enough time loaned out from rm and all that so arsenal kinda choking is such a dark but familiar feeling for him 😔 so erling tries his hardest to help him relax by making breakfast for him… it’d be so funny if erling was like hey babe did you see what they’re saying about us. and martin is all. you shouldn’t read that you know but erling just finds it funny how much people hate him so he’ll read out loud from his phone about how people think he has an evil master plan to destroy martins psyche so city can come out on top (as if i’d do that to team norway.. fuck up our team dynamic forever just for that… he sighs)

also about the penalty kick.. that was like the first one he’s missed in what two years??? but people are tearing him DOWN over it, and martin can sense that he doesn’t really find it that funny anymore. maybe it’s getting to him a little:(( like erling is not even twenty three and he’s trying and working SO hard and martin makes sure he knows that it’s appreciated but trolls online are SO harsh. they both just need a pick me up lol

#slow morning in bed ❤️❤️❤️❤️#literally i love u anon #ask

4 notes · View notes

the-breath-in-air · 3 years ago

Text

So You're Disappointed in Loki...Now What?

Okay folks, if you were expecting Loki to be queerer and weirder and you're disappointed in what it's turning out to be...consider checking out these other superhero/sci-fi series (if you haven't already).

Legion (2017-2019) - This show has a real retro-future aesthetic, similar to Loki. (Although Loki's drawing more from the 1970s and Legion draws more from the 1960s). Anyway, Legion is also a show about self acceptance and self-love. It's not *just* about those things; it's also about mental illness, what makes someone a "good person," and how we deal with trauma - with a bit about sexism, racism and colonialism thrown in there. And it is a weird show. Each season key parts of the reality of the fictional universe change - and always in truly bizarre ways. And there are a few canon queer characters too.

Sense8 (2015-2018) - Sense8 is a Netflix series written and directed by the Wachowski sisters and J. Michael Straczynski. It's about eight people around the world who are telepathically linked - and about the evil international corporation/agency that's attempting to capture and control them. Their telepathy is a metaphor for the internet - but also about found family. And there's an element of self-love in here as well. Of the main characters - Nomi is a trans lesbian & her cis girlfriend is Amanita, and Lito is a cis gay man & his boyfriend is Hernando. Eventually pretty much every character ends up being queer, though, because this series is just queer-as-hell. Unfortunately, this series also hits some really tired racial stereotypes and has way too much sympathy for "good" cops.

Doom Patrol (2019-Present) - Season 1 of Doom Patrol ends with a giant rat making out with a giant cockroach. What I'm saying is, this show gets weird. There's a sentient street, a man who eats beards, a narrating villain named Mr. Nobody, and an episode that takes place largely inside a donkey. And that's just the first season. Our heroes are all anti-heroes; they've all got major character flaws. But they're also all dealing with a lot of trauma, and they end up saving the word a few times while dealing with it. Of the main group, Larry is gay. Then there's also Danny - who's a genderqueer sentient street, plus pretty much everyone who lives on them is queer. This show's got a lot about self-love and self-acceptance, but also about the responsibility we have to care for each other.

The Umbrella Academy (2019-Present) - Another show about self-acceptance and the responsibility we have to care for each other. Also, each of the heroes all have pretty serious character flaws, which they either ignore or work to overcome. They're also all dealing with trauma (specifically from being raised by a complete asshole). There's time travel and a time agency and the siblings are constantly trying to avert an apocalypse. The second season in particular deals with racism and homophobia (to varying degrees of success). Also, two of the siblings are bisexual. (And Netflix updated the credits to change Elliot Page's name which is kinda great).

ETA:

Somehow when I first made this post, I forgot to post the obvious:

Ragnarok (2020-Present) - It's a teen drama + what if Norse gods were real and lived in modern-day Norway. It's a bit of a coming-of-age story but also the bigger theme is to do with climate change and evil corporations. It's a Norwegian production with a Danish showrunner which gives it a different perspective than I'm used to seeing (I'm in the U.S.). It's a fun series with some real silly moments in it. Oh and also Loki's here and queer.

ETA2:

Cannot believe I also forgot this:

DC's Legends of Tomorrow (2016-Present) - This is a show about a bunch of time travelers who "screw things up for the better." The first season is rough, mostly because it took itself too seriously and Vandal Savage was a rubbish villain. So you can skip it and maybe read a wiki for continuity. But trust me when I say it really picks up in season 2. One of the strengths of this show is how the writers take what could be problems, and using it to flesh out themes and ideas (i.e. the frequent changes in the cast). It gets real meta and a bit weird, but in a CW-friendly way. So it's got some heavy themes, but also a lot of silliness. It also has a lot of crossover with the other CW Arrowverse shows, but honestly it's completely understandable on its own. Queer characters include (but are not limited to): Sara Lance, Ava Sharpe, Charlie, Constantine (huzzah finally), Gary, and Zari.

#doom patrol #sense8 #legion #loki #umbrella academy #ragnarok #marvel #mcu #netflix #dceu #legends of tomorrow #dc legends of tomorrow #arrowverse

527 notes · View notes

flodaya · 3 years ago

Note

You also watched young Royals? Your opinion? I loved it more than I ever could imagined lol

best thing was realizing my 5 months learning norwegian paid off because I actually was able to understand some swedish phrases, two languages for the price of one

anyway, yes!! I agree, this show was actually genuinely good, it was super cheesy at times and the whole premise of the prince falling for someone he isn’t supposed to is a total cliche but it still managed to make it feel new and different. this is my childhood obsession of princess fairy tales and sissi haunting me, whenever i see a queer adaptation of this trope now i need to read/watch it asap

I really appreciate how the show dealt with a lot more serious topics but kept it “realistic”, i mean as a realistic as it can be if we are watching a bunch of super rich kids. I’d say the plot was well constructed and the characters really interesting but 6 episodes wasn’t enough to properly flesh out everything so some storylines felt a little too rushed and apart from simon, wilhelm and if i’m being generous maybe felice and sara the other characters felt flat

some side characters were entertaining but i wish they were developed a little more, and i feel like august was a little too much the villain with a tragic backstory cliche. i was positively surprised by other characters though, like i really enjoyed felice’s character, and i’m always a sucker for introverted main characters so obviously i have a soft spot for wilhelm and simon. oh and i didn’t expect to be actually moved by that character’s death, like genuinely i was sad ?? and it happened so suddenly. after watching all 6 episodes i kinda don’t know how to feel about sara tbh which i’m kind of really disappointed by because i really liked her and related to her quite a lot but the last 2 episodes.... idk

but overall this is a really good show if you’re looking for some kind of gossip girl-esque high society show with teenagers who for once don’t feel like they are adults pretending to be 16. i get why people compare it to skam tbh, while the plot is completely different they still managed to capture the essence of being a teenagers like skam did both by casting young actors and the writing itself

so please go watch it! i need season 2 so badly (why do i always fall for shows at the brink of being cancelled, only reason why i still haven’t started watching the second half of genera+ion season 1 bc i can’t deal with getting invested only for the show to not be renewed)

#young royals #ask #my posts

68 notes · View notes

eileentothestars · 3 years ago

Text

A Random American’s Thoughts on the 2022 Eurovision Songs

Bulgaria -- Not a winner but it’s not a ballad and it’s catchy and that’s good enough

Albania -- This song went in so many directions. Took me the whole three minutes just to process her outfit. And then the music video was a whole other Experience.

Spain -- I’m always surprised when Spain isn’t garbage

Italy -- Torn between respect for Mahmood and disappointment that I don’t like this song as much as Soldi (but at least he wasn’t trying to copy himself or anything)

Lithuania -- I was kind of expecting this song to... do more, I guess? But I love her whole entire vibe, so we’re good.

Latvia -- It’s the 1990s. I’m watching my cartoons. A PSA comes on during the commercial break. It is this song.

Norway -- Give these weirdos a pass to the finals

Poland -- Admittedly this one suffered from my listening to it immediately after the Norwegian banana-wolves

San Marino -- I didn’t know Beetlejuice was from San Marino

Finland -- Didn’t really do anything for me this year, alas

Estonia -- Okay that one’s catchy

Netherlands -- Bored now

Montenegro -- It’s the Year of Magic Glowy People I guess

Germany -- You know how everyone had an instant, viscerally negative reaction to Germany’s entry last year? That’s how I feel about this. I get it now.

Australia -- Like with Lithuania, I kept expecting this song to build up to something, but it just kinda stayed at the same level the whole time

Serbia -- I’m so glad I turned on the captions for this one because it makes it even more chaotic and I love it

Denmark -- They had me in the first half, not gonna lie

Switzerland -- I appreciate the message, but judging by their past few entries, I think Switzerland needs an antidepressant

Romania -- Romania continues to mildly baffle me

Moldova -- Loving these dudes who are just loving their train. I want to be on a train.

United Kingdom -- I mean it’s not the worst but we have Rocket Man already so why do we need this B-movie version

Belgium -- I have never seen The Godfather and yet that was all I could think of during this music video

North Macedonia -- That is some kinda mood

Ukraine -- Well it’s no SHUM but I can dig it

Austria -- It made me dance! But I had to turn the brightness on my computer ALL the way up

France -- I’m going to assume this is a coven of witches sent to summon Eurovision victory

Slovenia -- I’m a sucker for disco but I felt like they should have gone wilder with it. I’m talking leisure suits, bell bottoms and lots of glitter.

Croatia -- The gymnast was better than the song

Greece -- This woman is definitely plotting a murder

Sweden -- They have submitted a song

Portugal -- That was really nice, actually. Portugal is usually solid.

Malta -- Generic Feel-Good Anthem of the year, everybody

Israel -- Now THAT is what I’m talking about! Yes!! Eurovision!!

Iceland -- Iceland is killing it again this year but in the complete opposite way they killed it last year

Cyprus -- This is like a tourism ad. Come to Cyprus and play chess with our hottest women.

Georgia -- I don’t know if I need to get used to this or if I just hate it

Czech Republic -- Mr. Roboto remake looks great

Armenia -- I liked it but Disney is gonna come after them for that music video

Azerbaijan -- I love how this person flops into the water and immediately pops back out again like WELL THAT WAS NOT A GOOD IDEA

#eurovision #eurovision 2022 #hope i haven't missed any

8 notes · View notes

handonhaven · 3 years ago

Note

chilee...where tf is the cw headquarters at because i wanna throw hands with julie plec and call her out on her bullshit about she basically just MASSACRED tvd, to and legacies and basically ruined cleo, kaleb, mg, lizzie, josie, alaric, landon, hope, rafael and everyone else's character arcs like not even 13rw would pull this shit wait- scratch that shit out, they actual have. lemme just work on the legacies next gen book so the entire fandom can have some remedy to this chaotic shit. also why tf do they never mention the mikaelsons are of norwegian descent (dahlia and esther are from norway in the show) and landon is of iranian descent and marcel is of filipino descent

It’s a real shame what’s happened to the writing, though I’m not really gonna blame Julie at this point since she’s no longer as involved. But tbh, in some ways, I kinda wish she was still more involved because even though I’m so glad that Brett seems to like Handon and hasn’t destroyed their relationship like Julie might have, besides that, I can’t say I’m a fan of his writing, no offense to him. It just feels like ever since he became showrunner, things have never been the same and have really gone downhill. TVD/TO canon has been screwed up so badly, storylines are set up but never really explored, so much is left unexplained and just doesn’t make sense, there’s a whole lot of weird logic that will change from episode to episode, most of the characters are written poorly imo, lots of inconsistencies, it just feels like a mess so much of the time and doesn’t feel grounded either. And the characters had so much potential that they did nothing with. Like we still don’t even know how Kaleb or MG became vampires or how Jed triggered his curse. And what happened to MG being a ripper? What happened to Lizzie becoming mentally affected after what happened with the jinni? They built up the merge storyline since season 1 and that’s just over now, they basically did nothing with it. They’ve ruined Alaric, idk what they’re even doing with his character. And don’t get me started on Raf and how they did nothing with all the potential he had, basically cut off any storylines they had set up for him (and I know part of it was due to him leaving, but still). I do think Hope and Landon are the best written characters and feel the most authentic imo, but even then, look what they’ve been doing to Landon. Completely neglecting his storyline from last season which was huge for his character and should have given him a ton of development that they still aren’t showing us. They keep putting him and Hope through more trauma and that doesn’t ever change, yet they won’t even properly address their trauma. And they’ve not even really been exploring Hope’s vampire side, haven’t even shown her drinking blood or using her powers much at all. There’s just so much they could do with all these characters and it’s been so disappointing to see all that potential go to waste. And honestly, they’ve ruined all the other characters besides Hope and Landon for me to the point I don’t even care about the other characters anymore. So I feel you. And really? 13rw has done the same thing? Idk why they do that with shows. But yes, you should totally write your own version of the show! And yeah, they never mention the Mikaelsons being from Norway, but I guess it’s because that was covered in the other shows? At least we got flashbacks and they talked about their backstories, even though they’ve not gone into that with Legacies. And with Marcel, was he of Filipino descent or just the actor? We did get Marcel flashbacks and him in New Orleans, but it’s true that they never mentioned him being of Filipino descent. And they’ve still told us the bare minimum when it comes to Landon. We know Aria is Iranian, but they’ve not mentioned that about Landon at all. But we know he has to be Middle Eastern because Seylah is supposed to be Middle Eastern, they chose a Middle Eastern actress to play her. I wish they’d bring up stuff like this in the show.

#answered

4 notes · View notes

peterstanslizzie · 5 years ago

Text

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.4 (El Oro De Montezuma)

Verdict- Arroz Con Leche: 1, Lizzie Mcguire: 0

- Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda have their eyes glued to the television because Miranda’s cousin from Mexico, Carlos is supposed to appear on a Mexican game show with his friends next week. Jo sees this and encourages the kids to go out and do something more active/productive but shortly after, she becomes enthralled by the quirkiness of the show.

I can’t tell if they like what they’re watching or not lol

Lost in Translation

- There’s a new kid in school and his name is Li Torak, from Indonesia. Because of my Malaysian heritage, I know a thing or two about Indonesia and Li doesn’t look Indonesian to me. He looks really young too, almost around the age of Matt when in actuality, Raja is only a year younger than Hilary and Lalaine. It’s probably because he’s a boy and maybe it’s his Asian genes hehe. Lizzie tries to break the ice with Li but there’s a language barrier and he misunderstands majority of the things Lizzie is asking him.

* I just did my research and Holy Cow! The actor who played Li is Raja Fenske, who also played Jake Behari on Nickelodeon’s Unfabulous! I totally didn’t expect that. I haven’t watched Unfabulous in ages and I kinda forgot how he looked like. That’s so cool. Oh and if my research findings are accurate, he doesn’t have any Indonesian ancestry as I’ve predicted. In fact, his mom is Indian and his dad is German and Norwegian.

- Mr. Dig is teaching a class that puts a spotlight on other cultures and introduces to his students a “Lip Stretcher” that the Suya Indian men from the Amazon River used to pull their lower lips out as a way to attract mates I think? That’s interesting. He goes on to explain the various other cultures’/countries’ standards of beauty, which are very foreign to them.

If Gordo weren’t a director, he should’ve been a comedian because he went in on Larry here.

- Mr. Dig then uses this as an opportunity to formally introduce Li to everyone in class. And once again, he struggles to comprehend what’s being asked of him. Okay, I need to be honest here and say this; The way Raja is trying to sound like an Indonesian is just not working for me. He couldn’t even pronounce “Indonesia” correctly like a true native he’s meant to portray. The accent is way off; It’s actually very cringe-worthy.

- Anyways; back to the plot. Mr. Dig asks his students to write a report on either their own culture or another culture and include what people can learn from it.

The First Mention of Mexico City (fans of Lizzie Mcguire know what that means)

- Back at home, Lizzie asks her parents about where she came from and her parents funnily misunderstands her question and thought it was a Biology question lol. Obviously, what she meant to ask was where did their ancestors originate from in Europe most probably. We find out that Sam’s family is Scottish and Irish and Jo’s family originated from a bunch of other European countries. This makes it harder for Lizzie since there’s so many countries to choose from.

- At the Digital Bean, Miranda re-introduces her cousin, Carlos to Lizzie and Gordo. He greets Lizzie with a couple of kisses on both cheeks:

- He also tries to give Gordo the same but he’s not down for the friendly kisses lol. I wonder if Gordo felt some type of way to see another guy “kiss” Lizzie even if it’s a friendly one. Especially coming from last episode when he saw Lizzie and Ronnie kiss for real.

- Miranda tells them that’s what people do in Mexico City and I gotta say, the words “Mexico City” triggered me because that was the excuse we got in like the last 10 episodes (plus the movie) of Lizzie Mcguire to explain Miranda’s absence from the show lol.

- Miranda then reveals to her friends that Carlos’s teammates cancelled on him to go to their sister’s wedding, which is a good excuse but Carlos doesn’t seem to think so lol. Eventually, Lizzie and Gordo agree to be their replacements due to the financial benefit they would get if they win. It always comes down to the Benjamins I see. Plus, Lizzie sees this as an opportunity to help her with Mr. Dig’s assignment. They feel like if Carlos and to a lesser extent, Miranda could translate for them, they would be able to do the stunts on the show just fine.

- We then get a montage of them doing a practice run through some of the games featured on the show. Gordo also insists that they learn some Spanish as well. As I’ve been learning Spanish on Duolingo for almost a year now, I’m proud to say I was able to translate most of the phrases Gordo read out loud.

I LOL’ed at this moment. Why he gotta look at them like that?

- Lizzie thinks that they should focus on perfecting the games rather than trying to learn Spanish to which they all agree. But really? They don’t know what “bueno” means? Don’t they live in California? They should’ve know that word at the very least... C’mon now.

Let The Games Begin

- It’s now time for the game show and the host introduces Carlos, Miranda, Lizzie and Gordo on stage. Wait, where is this game show held? Is it where they live in the US or did they all fly to Mexico?

- The first round is trivia and Miranda manages to win the first point. The next round is popping as many balloons as possible between their chests but we don’t know who won that. And after that, it’s them trying to seek out different items of clothing to dress their teammate in a bull-fighter’s costume.

The last clue is getting a hat from the bottom box but unfortunately Lizzie wasn’t careful enough, which led to a whole stack of boxes to crash on top of her lol. But they still manage to win that round fortunately and their team is able to advance to the last round.

- In this round, Lizzie gets picked to designate roles to each of her team members. Unfortunately, she accidentally assigns Carlos to be the Aztec bird snake gut, which means that he has to sit out that round. The host gives them the instructions in Spanish and with Carlos having to be inside a soundproof box, they have no idea what they’re supposed to do.

- I was able to understand a couple of phrases like “tienen arroz con leche” and “cuaranta y cinco segundos”, which I’m confident it means “they have rice with milk (rice pudding I guess)” and “they have 45 seconds to do something” respectively. I didn’t catch the building a pyramid part just because I don’t know what pyramid is in Spanish lol. I did a quick Google search and it’s just pirámide but I don’t think I heard the host saying that word.

- They obviously misunderstood the instructions and did something completely wrong, which is putting the rice pudding into the boxes and jumping over them at the same time. Gordo, who is usually the brains of the operation thinks that they should eat the rice pudding and he proceeds to happily eat it lol.

- They try to think of one last solution and Lizzie decides to throw the rice pudding into the boxes with her bare hands but she accidentally splashes some of it onto Miranda’s face. Next to you know, they’re throwing rice pudding left and right at each other and the whole audience goes wild. Well, that’s one way to end the show but I’m pretty sure they lost.

Presentation Time

- It’s time for them to present their report on a culture of their choice in Mr. Dig’s class. Gordo does his on Mehndi tattoos from India; I actually thought he would talk about some aspects from his own Jewish culture. As for Lizzie, she tells the class that after her whole experience of being lost in translation in that Mexican game show she and her friends participated in, she felt like she needed to learn about other cultures so that she can understand those around her who are not like her.

Oh gosh; His accent again. It’s so not Indonesian.

- Anyways, Lizzie decides to focus her presentation on Indonesian culture. This should be good....

- Umm, Jakarta is not an island Lizzie....It’s the capital city of Indonesia and the island it sits on is called Java. *facepalms. The presentation was obviously cut short due to time constraints of the episode but they could have done more to fit in more insightful stuff into her presentation. I’m really disappointed.

Matt’s B-Plot: It’s More Like A C-Plot....

- Matt and Lanny have pretty much been playing hide and go seek throughout the whole episode. And that’s about it really. It’s nothing extraordinary except for the fact that they kinda went overboard with it and continued the game outside Matt’s home.

Is this safe for a child lol?

- However, what I like about this sub-plot is seeing how sassy Lanny is. The episode ends with Matt winning the hide and seek contest but to his own detriment because he decided to hide in a train, which started moving while Lanny eats pizza with Matt’s parents. Wow, his parents are going to get the ultimate headache from trying to find out where in the world Matt is.

Overall Thoughts

- Let’s get the negatives out of the way first; Raja Fenske’s portrayal of Li as a student from Indonesia was pretty weak I have to say. And it wasn’t really his fault. I’m sure somebody had given him directions on how to sound like an Indonesian and he had to follow it. Like I mentioned earlier, I don’t think Raja is any part Indonesian and so, he probably couldn’t tell what should have sounded authentic. I felt like Disney should’ve cast someone Indonesian or part Indonesian to avoid all of this. Also, I must repeat the point I made about them saying that Jakarta is an island, which is totally wrong. The writers should have done their research.

- But I appreciate them for making the attempt to shine a spotlight on how ignorant we can be when it comes to understanding and respecting other people’s cultural differences. At the beginning of the episode, Lizzie was obviously taken aback and amused by Li’s inability to understand what she was trying to ask him because she has never been in his position before.

- It was not until she participated in “El Oro de Montezuma”, she’d realized that being immersed in a new environment with a completely different culture from what she’s used to is extremely hard. And because of that, she was able to empathize with Li and show Li that she wants to respect and get to know his Indonesian culture, which is why she decided to make her presentation on Indonesia instead.

- Long story short; The lessons taken from the episode were great but the execution of Li’s character was meh.

13 notes · View notes

rosecorcoranwrites · 4 years ago

Text

October Reading Roundup

Norwegian by Night by Derek B. Miller

Genre: Literary fiction with notes of thriller

Why I read it: Book club pic

What I thought of it: The only thing worse than first person present tense, it turns out, is third person present tense, which most of this book was written in. There were a few flashbacks written in past tense, which, unsurprisingly, flowed better, were more engaging, and sounded more natural than the rest of the book. As for characters and plot, it was an ok thriller I guess? Not really my thing, though.

Would I recommend it: The people in my book club really liked it, so sure. Not for me, though. The lit fic stuff was too lit fic-y, and the thriller stuff too boiler plate for my tastes.

18 Tiny Deaths: The Untold Story of Frances Glessner Lee and the Invention of Modern Forensics by Bruce Goldfarb

Genre: History - Forensics

Why I read it: I like true crime and true-crime-adjacent books

What I thought of it: I'm glad the story of Glessner Lee was told, as she was a fascinating woman. Essentially, she used her wealth to force the field of forensic medicine into existence in America (it already existed in Europe and the Middle East). I think the book could have been edited to be a little shorter, though, as it was a long and not always interesting read.

Would I recommend it: If you are into forensics, niche history, and women's history, then yes.

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

Genre: Supernatural spooky with notes of horror

Why I read it: I re-read it for a book club

What I thought of it: I loved it just as much as the first time I read it. The prose, the characters, the creepy carnival folk. It was all perfect.

Would I recommend it: Yes! Especially during October. It is the quintessential fall read!

Lovecraft Country by Matt Ruff (DNF!)

Genre: Fantasy Horror

Why I read it: The concept intrigued me, plus the cover rocks

What I thought of it: It was... kinda boring? And predictable? And not scary. And not Lovecraftian. Like, there are so many ways one could riff on Lovecraft's racism by using his own stories and themes (none of which are under copyright), and Ruff chose none of them. Disappointing.

Would I recommend it: No. I gave up on it and read the Wikipedia summary of each story, and it doesn't seem to get any more interesting after the parts I read.

The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton

Genre: Mystery

Why I read it: I loved Turton's previous book, The 7 ½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle

What I thought of it: Ohhhhh boy... Let's just say, it had massive potential, but was ruined by one and a half horribly cliche female characters whose POV takes up roughly half the novel. Plus, it was way too long, (could have been shorter without the skirt, tbh...)

Would I recommend it: No. It was so disappointing, and, even worse, preachy.

Ghosts of the Grand Canyon: Personal Encounters that Will Have You on the Edge by Brian-James and Judy Martinez

Genre: Nonfiction - parapsychology

Why I read it: AZ book club pic

What I thought of it: The writing wasn't great, but I feel like that's kind of a plus for a hokey ghost story book; makes it feel more authentic, in my opinion. As for the stories, though many of them were very similar, there were some really creepy ones. There was also a lot of info about the Canyon that I didn't know.

Would I recommend it: If you're into ghosts in famous places, yes. It's a short, spooky little read.

Is ESP Real? The Science of the Sixth Sense by Robert L. Kuhn, Ph.D.

Genre: Nonfiction - parapsychology

Why I read it: Ya'll should know by now that I'm into this nonsense

What I thought of it: It was kinda meh, as it's just a guy interviewing various people and getting there opinion on whether ESP is real. The funny part, though, is that everyone tries so hard to couch psychic powers in scientific, rather than spiritual terms, because if we don't, "it would completely change how wee see the world" which is like... You know that you can believe both, right? That the physical world is governed by physical laws, while the spiritual, specifically nonphysical world is governed by metaphysical laws? They're basically bringing the wrong tools to bear on the question at hand, like trying to measure the amount of salt in a sample of water with a ruler; they are ill-equipped.

Would I recommend it: No. As I said, it was meh. No new or cool information to be had.

1 note · View note

noorhelmcliche · 5 years ago

Text

random pics/video from my trip to europe!

hey guys so basically i saw a bunch of stuff that reminded me of y’all when i was in europe this summer. while in oslo i didn’t go see anything skam related even though for 2 of the 3 days i was just wandering around by myself while my dad was in business meetings all day. i wanted to do more sightseeing and i didn’t want to be a creep and take pictures of apartment buildings (and later be confused as to why i took pics of random apartment buildings). i also totally forgot that school was out, otherwise i probably would’ve gone to hartvig nissen (i’ve heard people say the students complain about tourists and for me personally education is the number 1 priority so i didn’t want to bother them but i forgot it was the beginning of july so school wouldn’t be in session whoops). everything in this post is super random and kinda stupid, but my family is super dysfunctional (which is why i love the noorhelm seasons) and whatever (so vacations can be tense and draining- although i realize how lucky i am to be able to travel to such amazing places). so i had to find some sources of entertainment for myself even though vacations are basically the only time me and my sister get along. unfortunately i don’t have any crazy stories bc again i was with the rents aka my parents, but if i think of any i’ll share. also this is going to be long just fyi...

this ginger & lemon tea was disgusting ! idk it just reminded me of incantava and so i tried it (actually at the hotel in oslo but i took a pic in a grocery store in italy) and i was very disappointed lol.

this was also really gross i thought i could be like incantava eating a pistachio cookie in italy, but it was super dry and bland.

we went into this store to look at ties because my aunt came with us on our trip and she wanted to buy more ties for her sons, one of whose job as an accountant/stock broker/financial advisor (obviously i don't really know what he does- it’s deals w a lot of math and money i know that for sure) requires him to wear a suit and tie, and the shirt on this mannequin was totally giving me edoardo vibes.

i saw a timvision store and a ton of ads/commercials for timvision and i was really confused bc i thought that timvision was a tv network, but i guess they also sell phones?? whatever- i was about to walk in there and give them a piece of my mind about s3 and tell them that the episodes should’ve been longer bc benedetta and giancarlo are literally so good at acting and their characters were amazing and they were not used to their full advantage and the last couple of episodes felt rushed. also wanted to tell them that they need to change the s4 main bc i’m not here for white sana and not to break up incanatava bc i will lose it since we aren’t getting norandro until fucking 2020!!!

and of course i had to try pistachio ice cream while i was in rome to truly pay homage to incantava and it was delicious omg eleonora was definitely onto something. also the US needs to offer more ice cream flavors (that are normal) like they do in italy i was in heaven. also sorry that this isn’t a great photo i’m not the best at getting aesthetic pics.

so i went to these little seaside towns (cinque terre) and there was this couple waiting to get on the same bus as us (bc the only way to get up to the town with suitcases was by the local bus) and they totallyyyy reminded me to incantava because they were in those white shirts/dress like incantava during edo’s party. they were also were being all cuddly on a bench while waiting for the bus. also on the bus there wasn’t enough room for everyone, so she had to sit on his lap and i was standing next to them and he wouldn’t stop kissing her shoulder which was sweet but very awkward for me because i was also lowkey trying to snipe photos of them at the same time without them noticing so i could show you guys lol. also he was carrying her purse bc i guess she didn’t want to carry it anymore (complete edo move) and later i saw them at a table and she wasn’t drinking but he was drinking like whatever and he was smoking (i think she maybe was too) so i was really freaking out internally at that point. okay sorry this was a long description, but i also wanted to say sorry that this is a bad photo my dad was also in it so i had to crop him out.

okay in oslo i saw this building and i feel like it was the newspaper noora/william wrote the iconic people need people essay for.

so i went to dinner with my dad and some people from the norwegian office/branch of my dad’s company and i saw this bridge and was screaming internally because i felt like this was the bridge they drove on during noorhelm’s date. (also i got some major info about skam from the people we went to dinner with who are parents- if you guys want i can share, it’s more on the bts side of things tho) AND I JUST REWATCHED THE DATE AND THIS BRIDGE WAS SHOWN and i’m super happy because i saw a bunch of stuff shown in that little car montage.

also that awkward moment when you don’t speak norweigan but you have to tell your uber driver where he needs to pick you up. and omg everyone in norway drives like mercedes and teslas bc it’s subsidized by the gov’t and all the ubers are mercedes s classes or the tesla x model with butterfly wings. the drivers also dress in a suit and tie which is very different from america. oslo was super sleek, clean, and modern.

okay finally i saw this house and i could totally see noorhelm living here. especially with the old vintage car i feel like older william would collect vintage cars. also the classic feel of the house but with a few modern touches also gave me noorhelm vibes idk i also just really love this house.

also i saved this video on snapchat of me zooming in on parigi on a map, but i can’t figure ut how to convert it into a .mov from a .mp4 after airdropping it to my laptop so sorry however the point of the video was PARIGI!!! somebody needs to write a fanfic series of them traveling to spagna, turchia, parigi! also there were cool moldboards of them on vacation to those places but idk if i will be able to find them lol i saw them while i was still on vacay.

if you made it to here thanks for reading i’m sure this was not that interesting and it mean a lot that you read my random ramblings! :)

3 notes · View notes

whotookcheesuschrist · 7 years ago

Text

Some excerpts from the playthrough

I was pretty close to getting chills from that intro. That is the most atmospheric video game intro I’ve experienced thus far. All the way from the menu to the actual game. Fucking damn. (Apart from maybe Dragon Age Inquisition.)

Made it through the first part on the first try. Saved. It didn’t save as far as I thought it would and I had to do it again, failing four times. :-(

“Behold, my amazingly rendered abs. And flat-ass face.”

You can tell this is game was a first attempt in many things; such as delivering awkward, awkward lines.

There is a mission briefing mimicking VHS tapes and I fucking love it.

Whuh... COLONEL DID YOU KILL HIS DOGS? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So... that was intensly antagonistic of a character who have up to this point been delivering barely any support apart from diet-coke Sun Tzu.

Speaking of Sun-Tzu...

As of writing I’ve finished MGS2, and there’s a certain related part of that that I will get into on a later date, but this one, more than what’s to come, reminds me of that police interrogation in The Venture Bros.

YOUU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

In the most threatening way possible, say the words: Follow the mice.

These controls are hUaORRIBLe

In one way, yes, it adds to the difficulty without being forced, but good fucking god, trying to figure out which direction I’m supposed to push the stick while pressing up against a wall is a nightmare. And having to stand still while shooting and not being able to move while aiming at all is... not very user-friendly design. Thank God for auto-aim

In a similar vein, a third-person shooter with the camera angle being from what we Norwegians call bird perspective is a bit of a challenge

The game play is still pretty dope though

Bee tee dubbs, the ex-Fox unit is hereby dubbed the Suicide Squad

(I would totally play a super-hero video game with that kind of lay-out of the villains and the hero. I think this could actually transfer to comics as well, the way the villains are set-up, introduced and used.)

First meeting with Metrosexual Noodle Eastern.

"I love to reload during a battle! There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver bullet into a well greased chamber." — Revolver Ocelot, Metal Gear Solid.

I bet you do, Ozzie

This game is not complete without a ninja.

There’s a masturbation joke lying in there somewhere.

So far this game has been surprisingly Not Gay. Except from Snake’s sick abs, but then comes Otacon and fucks my shit up on so many levels.

Johny’s grand introduction: Face down, ass up

Meryl... I really like Meryl, but she is so obviously one of the “not like other girls”, tomboy-ish archetype that isn’t really all that useful. It’s pretty sad, because we see her kick ass. We know she can, so it’s a little sad that she isn’t properly utilized.

Poor Otacon.

The ninja was depressingly easy to best. I know the TWEETHT!! that comes later with this guy, but man, you’d think it’d be more of a fight.

OH. MY GOD. Let me count down how many ways Otacon’s introduction is gay.

After being saved from death by katana, Otacon stares at Snake downward-up. When the camera stops, we get a damn good shot, yet again, of Snake’s Sick Abs.

“You’re uniform is not like the others...”

The disappointment in Otacon’s voice upon learning that he was not the goal.

The symbolism of Otacon literally coming out of the closet.

Snake sitting with legs crossed like a fucking femme fatale as he and Otacon catch up to speed

Snake inspecting Otacon, crotch on up

Snake walking up to Otacon until he’s one foot away, laying his hand on his shoulder and asking “you okay?” in an uncharacteristic, caring voice: and Otacon being weirede out by it, commenting: “What’s wrong, getting all friendly all of a sudden...”, to which Snake just awkwardly backs away and says “uh nothing, just... glad you’re okay”

Forget Meryl, Hal’s your love interest and we all know it.

“I’ve been therapied into not having an interest in men and no one can break the spell at all none at all nuh-uh...” And of course Snake is going to prove them wrong. Eww. Call it a product of its time, but still, gross.

Bee-tee-dubbs, Otacon and Snake discussing Meryl’s low-pixelated ass strikes me as hilariously “no homo”. I’m pretty sure, given how Hideo is on the subject in later games, that all of it is intentional. Subtext included.

Psycho Mantis, stop dissing my game stats

Poor dude. Seriously, that is a sad and solid backstory for a character

“Riussiain lieady rieportyingk in on wieapions” I like her tho

Man, this game... In all of the silliness it is STILL on-point with its social commentary. Nastasha’s talks about the START programs, nuclear disarmament, the money involved, the ultimate plan of the Foxhound members, nuclear programs made for short-range launches... All of these are things that I’ve seen in the news this week, and what goes on in the game takes place in the year 2005. Not to mention us becoming more and more desensitized to violence and warfare. It is frightening to behold. I wish I had it in me to talk about all of this at length, because there is really a well of subject matters to discuss here.

Once again I experience a video game trying to impose on me that, in the story, something is urgent, but in reality, I have hours of backtracking if I want to.

I... kinda like the voice they gave Sniper Wolf. And that she’s Kurd; it is nice to see that Hideo remembers a little history. And it brings a little variation in a very formulaic artistic industry.

There is nothing so jarring as video game characters talking specifically about the controls on your PS controller. Abs are still sick. I like the little touch that this death will be different from the others, and set you somewhat back in progress. Not enough for it to make an impact, but I appreciate the effort; the game is present even on its own metalevel

Otacon, you sap. Oh and thank you for massaging my arm, Naomi

If Johnny were ever to be in a Rambo-parody the first movie would be called Johnny - First Brown

My old enemy... Stairs...

OTACON DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SUBTEXT MEANS

My tactic for handling this: laying down land mines whenever possible and run like a pussy.

Sniper’s demise, the entire scene for all parties involved, is pretty heartfelt still you two should kiss

I have literally played Die Hard.

HUHHHH! THE PLOT THICKENS! WE’VE BEEN BETRAYED!

Vulcan Raven has no sense of humor. I am big man McLargebeef. Fear me.

One of the greatest things about this game is the boss fights. All of them are different and interesting, fun to play. Same goes for the rest of the game: nothing ever gets to the point of being samey.

I mentioned atmosphere earlier, and oh how I do love this for keeping it throughout. This feels like a beautiful tribute to the 80′s action movies, in tone and spirit as well. This is what the 80′s style tribute that we’ve seen lately really ought to be: specs of hilarity and ridiculoussness mixed with complete sincerity and genuine, dark depth, without getting to caught up in aesthetic.

Metal Gear Chicken.

How can anyone survive working on that thing.

I wonder what Ocelot really thought of Liquid.

GAAASP! MILLER IS BRITISH! OH NO!

Liquid is just an asshole, but if that was his upbringing I feel a little bad for him. No wonder he hyper-compensates.

Snake takes these news surprisingly well

Snake being made into a weapon, robbed of information that he really needs: this game makes his feelings and responses, however douchy, feels quite earned

I am fighting a giant mecha and this is STILL a stealth game.

Okay that... that surprise from Gray Fox actually was a surprise. And what the fuck is he MADE of.

So Richard Dawkins is to blame...

OF COURSE-

SHIRTLESS BATTLE! OVER A WOMAN!

“MACGYVEEEEEEEEEER!”

Surprise bitch I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

Liquid’s death is surprisingly evocative for me. I really do feel like Liquid’s plan is more important to him than anything, because he that desperately needs to prove himself in the light of his “father”.

...

. . .

WILL YOU SHUT UP

BTW I made it through without sacrificing Meryl. I’ve learned what happens in the other ending, and it is pretty dumb how that one leads so much better into the next game than the other. And while on the subject

Woah, yet another twist. Although knowing what I do about Ocelot now it is hardly that surprising. The impact of this is still satisfying and intriguing, because there are things in the game that for someone who isn’t already completely familiar with them seems a bit weird. The reveals here makes some things falll into place, and I am surprised that the game actually did specifically build up to a sequel

It strikes me that I haven’t talked once about the performances. While there are a lot of them that don’t go all in, you gotta give David Hayter props for this, as well as several of the others. This must’ve been so very strange to work on for all of them: not quite a translation from a japanese work, not quite American either, giving this exposition-heavy dialogue a unique life of its own

And the game naming Snake after him is a very cute touch, one that I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t thought of before. And no one could give Snake the layers of believable capability and apparent ineptitude better than he. IQ of 180 my ass.

GOD that ending dragged on.

#Cheesus games #Metal Gear Solid

4 notes · View notes

basicasiantourist · 7 years ago

Photo

Bergen & Oslo: 15-19 Dec 2017

Osterfjord at sunset

Where do I begin on this one?? I’m typing this one en route from Bergen to Oslo, and I just can’t help gasping at everything I see—which is also basically my entire reaction towards Norway, because holy shit the landscapes here are beyond beautiful. Currently when I look outside my window i just see complete whiteness, it’s as if the snowy fields are blending with the mountains and the sky.

To be honest we did really little here compared to a normal trip; in Bergen we basically had one main activity every day. But each thing that I saw really blew me away; I think it’s especially because I’ve never seen the mountains and sea blend toward with such quaint, brightly coloured houses before. It really creates this uniquely Norwegian (or Scandinavian?) landscape.

Bryggen, Bergen’s iconic wharf

Bergen fish market

We also went to the fish market but that was a bit disappointing because I expected it to be this traditional outdoor market with fresh ingredients, but apparently it’s been recently moved into an indoor market space. When we went in there weren’t that many people and the whole thing just seemed a bit too commercialised; there were very few vendors and each seemed more like a franchise/posh restaurant than a small local business. I wouldn’t know how lively the previous market was so I won’t comment if this seeming gentrification is good or bad, but I heard the new market doesn’t even get fresh ingredients anymore so that’s really a shame.

Anyway, we decided to try some of food (even though they are so outrageously priced !!) and it was so AMAZING!!! We had fish soup, a grilled salmon, and a shrimp platter. The fish dishes were really the star though, especially the salmon which was super soft, and the skin was charred so crispy and the fat was not gross but actually creamy and good!!! I am so in love with Norwegian salmon now :( The fish soup too, tasted like clam chowder but with a tinge of salty fish flavour. REALLY GOOD!!

We then went onto a cruise to see the fjords. It’s a bit disappointing that most of the fjord tours were closed this time of the year, but luckily there were still some all-year-round ones on offer (that were so much more affordable, anyway). So we went up one that brought us to Osterfjord, and we picked a good timing as well, because we got to see the sunset just as we reached the fjords.

These pictures, once again, were taken with my 35mm lens and hence really do not do justice to the beauty of the fjords!! The vastness of the mountains and the seas are just something that you have to see for yourself to really appreciate I guess. (or, get a 12mm! ha)

Last attraction we saw was Mt. Floyen, which is a mountain behind Bergen (Bergen basically is contained by the sea and the mountain, how amazing is that). We also wanted to see Ulriken but that was unfortunately closed to visitors and we didn’t want to risk hiking there not knowing how to get down.

View of Ulriken from Mt. Floyen

View of Bergen from atop Mt. Floyen—though I wouldn’t say the city’s ariel view is that impressive!

The experience was more impressive though, because of what was on the mountain—a children’s playground! I think it’s just so cute that parents would bring their kids up a mountain to play; it’s really telling of the norwegian’s outdoorsy lifestyle.

Two brothers strolling in the forest trails

Just out of curiosity we also went to the Christmas market—though apparently that’s not really a thing in Norway, and bergen’s one is actually really new. Nonetheless, I HAD THE BEST PANCAKES OF MY LIFE THERE.

Bergen Christmas market

The pancakes were slightly gingerbread-like, really fluffy, and most importantly they tasted amazing with this berry yoghurt sauce they provided. At first when I saw the different sauces (there was plain yoghurt, berry yoghurt and sugar which they all put in a bowl for you to drizzle to your liking) I just thought they were cream or something, but no!!! it was YOGHURT and it tasted AMAZING!! The young girl making the pancakes (and the stalls there really did seem local) probably has no idea that she just served me the best pancakes of my life!!

So that’s just Bergen—I’m currently on the “most beautiful train ride” from Bergen to Oslo, which is, obviously, proving to be one of the most breath-taking train rides of my life. Will post pictures as well as Oslo thoughts later on :)

Oslo

So the train was beautiful–this was one of my favourite shots of the views; traditional wooden houses along a mountain/river-scape. I’m more into townscapes than anything so this impressed me most, but here are some amazing landscape shots too (they haven’t been edited so sorry for the haze!):

Along the way it started snowing, turning the views into an even more amazing, almost snow-covered landscape.

I must emphasize that these shots are unedited and also true to life, i.e. esp the last pic–what you see in the pictures is probably even more detailed than I saw out the window. It really was just an amazing sight beyond words.

In contrast I honestly didn’t enjoy Oslo as much, mainly because I’m not really into museums and stuff which Oslo was all about. The actual cityscape wasn’t really conducive for photography either, because most parts were under construction and/or were kinda uninspiring urban design-wise. Plus, we only had like half a day, so after walking around the city a little we just had a feast and headed to the airport.

The roads were really icy that day too, so we had quite a bit of trouble walking around–one of the things I’ve never realised to be a problem of snow. We had to slowly waddle our way to the restaurant to avoid slipping!

OUR FEAST.

Finally we had a little feast at VulkanFisk, a local, “cheap” stall in an indoor market. The fish soup was definitely the most memorable for me, because it has this lemongrass taste that really went well with the fish. We also feasted on mussels and fish and chips, which were really good too! The mussels were seasoned well with white wine, and the fish was really soft. Definitely regret coming to norway as broke students because if I had the money I would eat Norwegian salmon every day :(

Norway definitely did steal our breaths away though, and I’m excited to head up North in the future to see the northern lights there (and have more fish soup & salmon heh)!

#Europe #Norway #Bergen #Oslo

0 notes