#it's just that I immediately want to throw up and stop functioning
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5mcsinatrenchcoat · 1 year ago
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is there a way to block one single post without necessarily blocking the whole person
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blondemadona · 8 months ago
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I’m not a weak bitch but I don’t understand dentistry at all and after discussing it with them as far as my parents are concerned I’ve been getting scammed so I let them call this place for me and in very broken English my mum slammed this receptionist who isn’t to blame and now they’re gonna send me an email and call? Like okay guys my tooth that I spent essentially my life savings on is going to rot and fall out because of you
:( what will this phone call do :(
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sceletaflores · 24 days ago
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come on into my bed with me (i know you want to)
pair: old man!logan howlett x fem!reader
wc: 4.1k
contains: 18+ SMUT MDNI, swearing, some sad vibes because i can't function without them, large age gap (but isn't that obvious by now? mid 20s/old as fuck), established relationship but only kind of, falls in the logan 2017 timeline but very loosely, LONGINGGGG, gratuitous nickname use (kid, baby, honey, ect), nasty dirty talk cause he's old and gross, not so dry humping, JUST THE TIP RAHHHH, porn w/o plot, no use of y/n.
nat’s note: this was heavily inspired by imogen heap's 'i am in love with you' because that song fucks so hard and it really gave me lots of old man logan vibes. i was just so overcome with nasty thoughts that the beat possessed me and i blacked out and listened to it on a constant repeat while i wrote this instead of doing my a&p work. kisses!
dividers by angel @saradika-graphics!
you can't sleep, logan left his door open...
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Rain pelts at the smudged glass of your window, drops trailing down the span of the panes that you follow with your eyes.
It's been raining nearly all week, a rare thing in Mexico, especially somewhere as dry as Sonora.
You used to love the rain. You felt a special kind of comfort anytime night would come and there'd be a certain chill swirling through the air, that familiar scent of damp soil and wet stone rising as the first drops hit the ground.
In Sonora, rain is supposed to be a gift—a reprieve from the unrelenting heat, a chance for the dry earth to drink.
It should feel cleansing, like a reset of sorts, and maybe it would have a few months ago.
Now it just feels heavy, oppressive. Each raindrop splattering against the glass feels like a reminder of everything that's stuck, unmoving.
The soft noise of it was almost enough to lull you to sleep, but it was still no match for your wandering mind.
You’ve been finding yourself here a lot recently, shrouded in the scratchy sheets of your bed in the quiet dark encompassing your room, mind racing.
It was raining the first night he touched you.
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You've been with Logan and Charles for nine months.
A runaway hitchhiker turned caretaker after you fled from the meaningless scraps of your life back in Texas.
Logan found you on the side of the highway coming back from a shift in El Paso. One stop with the hazards on and a hasty conversation through a rolled down window later, you were throwing your bags in the back of his limo and climbing into the front seat.
You didn't realize until much later that he never truly asked you to stay, or to care for Charles alongside him.
It was only supposed to be a temporary arrangement, a roof over your head in exchange for your help. Watch over his ailing father for a few days while he went out to get him more medicine, that's what you settled on.
Yet somehow, here you are, nine months later.
You cook meals in a dusty kitchen that always smells faintly of motor oil, listen to Charles’ stories about a world you’ll never fully grasp, and watch Logan patch himself up in grim silence after he’s returned from whatever trouble found him this time. 
It's strange how the days seemed to stretch endlessly, but the weeks have slipped past like a blink. You carved out a routine in this crumbling house in Sonora, built something that resembles a life even if it feels borrowed, like a second-hand coat that never quite fits right.
At first, you weren’t sure what kept you here. Maybe Charles. 
You warmed to him almost immediately, drawn in by his gentle demeanor and the way he seemed to see right through you without a hint of judgment. 
Even when his mind faltered, slipping into tangled memories or distant fragments of a life long past, he treated you with a kindness you hadn’t felt in years.
You’d come to think of him as a king, regal and noble. A king stripped of his castle, yet still wearing a crown, if ever so skewed—a king nonetheless.
You still aren’t sure, but you can’t shake the sense that leaving now would be like tearing off a scab—painful and unnecessary.
And then, one night, the rain came.
You remember it vividly, a torrent so sudden and unrelenting. The downpour soaking the dry dirt surrounding the plant. 
You couldn’t help yourself from wandering out, stood barefoot on the porch as the cool air nipped at the skin of your arms and legs.
“You’re gonna catch a cold standin’ out here.” Logan said from somewhere behind you, his voice rough and low after the silence of a long shift.
You hadn’t moved, hadn’t even glanced his way. “I like the rain.”
There was a beat of silence before he stepped closer, the warmth of his body radiating against your back. His hand had been hesitant at first, a brush of calloused fingers against your arm. 
You didn’t pull away.
The heat of his palm felt scalding, causing goosebumps to pebble along your damp skin. His thumb swiped across the circular scar just above your elbow, a cigarette burn, one of many.
He didn’t say anything as he turned and walked back into the house. You learned quickly that Logan’s not the type to fill silences with empty words, but you both knew something shifted.
He came into your room later that night. The squeaky mattress of your bed dipping under his weight as he slid his hand down your stomach, pausing just above the waistband of your shorts, a silent question.
He didn’t kiss you, but the rain pattering against the tin roof was enough to swallow your soft moans and gasps.
You settled into something undefined—a constant push and pull of need and silence. Logan touched you when he needed to, and you let him because you wanted to.
It wasn’t love, not then. It wasn’t even comfort. But it was connection. A tenuous thread in the quiet storm of your lives.
You figured that was enough.
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The rain hasn't slowed. If anything, the howl of the wind is stronger than before.
The soothing rhythm of droplets hitting your window turned aggressively sharp, like darts thrown against a worn cork board.
The boom of thunder is nearly in sync with the pulse of your core, aching and insistent in its need.
It’s been weeks since Logan touched you last, his endless cycle of guilt stronger than it's been before. He’s never outright said it, but you know it’s there.
The silence between you both has stretched longer than you'd like to admit, a quiet that isn't comfortable anymore.
You know he’s got it in his head that he’s somehow taken advantage of you. A perverted old man falling weak to the pretty, young thing taking up space in the bed two doors over from him.
The thought stirs something deep within you, a mix of frustration and confusion. He’s not wrong, not exactly—but he’s not right either. You aren’t a child, and you aren’t helpless. You knew what you wanted, what you needed.
And that hasn’t dared to change.
You shift in bed, the sheets tangling around your legs as your body hums with a restlessness you can’t shake. The air in your room feels thick, charged, and suffocating, a mirror of the space between you and Logan.
He doesn’t understand that you want him too, that you weren’t some helpless thing to be protected or shielded from his darkness. It eats at you until your skin is practically buzzing with it, buzzing with the need to show him.
There’s only so much silence you can take before it becomes too loud to ignore. 
You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, the hardwood cool against your bare feet. You know it’s late, but you don’t care.
You walk through the dimly lit hallway, the creak of the floorboards quiet under you as you make your way to Logan’s door. It’s cracked open, a yellow glow spilling through to guide you like a lighthouse guides its ships to shore.
When you reach the beat up wood you don’t hesitate, you push it open the slightest bit, peering through the widened gap. 
He’s there, sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you. He doesn’t turn, doesn’t acknowledge you, but you know he knows you’re there.
You cross the threshold, your heartbeat loud in your ears as you pull the door shut behind you, leaning your back against it.
“Logan,” you say softly, your voice rougher than you intended.
He doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he runs his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. The lamplight catches the sharp planes of his face, a familiar weariness etched into his features.
His fingers flex at his sides, and for a moment, you think he’s going to tell you to leave—to go back to your room where it’s safe, where you won’t make things more complicated than they already are. You almost brace for it.
But then he speaks.
“What’s wrong, kid.” His voice is nothing but a deep rumble, like gravel crunching underfoot.
You shrug noncommittally, hands messing with a stray thread hanging from the edge of your shorts. “Can’t sleep.”
Logan sighs long and slow through his nose, hands pressing into his thighs. “Thought you liked the rain.”
You smile faintly at the irony, chest swelling with something dangerous. 
You take a step further into the room, pushing yourself off the closed door. The familiar scent of him invades your senses. It’s a mixture of leather, earth, and something raw—something undeniably him. 
You stand there for a moment, letting the silence stretch thin and taut before you finally speak.
“Can I stay?” The words come out barely above a whisper, but they land like a crack of lightning.
You feel your heart thud painfully in your chest, not from fear, but from the sudden vulnerability that makes your skin burn.
The room feels smaller now, the walls pressing in as you step forward, each movement slow and deliberate. You stop at the edge of his bed, the sheets pressing against the bare skin of your thighs.
Logan’s gaze flickers over his shoulder, meeting yours briefly before he looks away again, like he’s trying to convince himself that the ache in his chest isn’t real.
“You should go back to bed,” he says, voice gruff. “It’s late.”
“I don’t want to go back.” You shake your head even though he isn’t turned around to see it.
Without thinking, you crawl onto the bed, the comforter making soft shushing sounds under your hands and knees. You reach out, fingers brushing the back of his neck, the muscles there tight with strain.
Logan flinches slightly, but he doesn’t pull away, and that’s all the permission you need.
You shift closer, pressing your chest against his back, and letting your hands settle on his shoulders. The heat between you is electric, charged with something unsaid, something raw and undeniable.
“Please,” you whisper, your lips brushing against the back of his ear, your voice a mixture of defiance and desire.
Logan stiffens, but this time, you feel the shudder that runs through him, the way his body responds despite the walls he’s built around himself.
You know he’s torn, that he wants to fight this. You feel it in the tension that radiates from him, in the way his body seems to be fighting against the instinct to turn toward you.
But you don’t care anymore. You’re done with silence.
Your fingers slide down his back, feeling the rough fabric of his shirt against your skin as you press yourself closer. Your breath is hot against his neck now, and you can feel the rapid pulse in his veins beneath your lips as you hover just above his skin, waiting.
“Logan…” Your voice is softer now, almost pleading. You don’t know what you’re asking for, but you don’t have to.
His hand comes up, brushing against your wrist as if testing, as if he’s afraid you’ll pull away. But you don’t.
Instead, you lean into him further, your lips brushing the curve of his neck, whispering into the tension that still hangs heavy between you. “Please.”
The last shreds of Logan’s resistance snap under the cloying weight of your touch.
He’s moving before you can even register what’s happening, rearing up with heavy hands that land on your shoulders to push you backwards.
You fall back onto the bed with a soft gasp, bouncing on the mattress once, twice, before Logan follows. His body settles over yours like a warm blanket, thick forearms braced on either side of your head to support his weight.
"Why couldn't you sleep, honey?" he asks, dark eyes boring into yours intense enough to get your stomach churning. The green of them is deeper than normal, like fresh moss growing over stone.
“I was thinking,” you whisper, breathless. Your pulse races beneath your skin, you wonder distantly if he can hear it too.
“Thinkin’ about what?” he presses, breath fanning over your lips temptingly. 
Your brows furrow, a soft noise escaping you. You can't help but tell the truth. “About you.”
Logan hums, eyes trailing along your face slowly. He slots a knee between your thighs, groaning softly at the wet heat that seeps through to his jeans.
You gasp, hips bucking down instinctively. Your pussy aches desperately, leaking arousal into the cotton gusset of your panties.
His jaw clenches at the sound, muscle ticking just beneath the grey of his beard. “Is that right? You been layin' in that bed, thinkin' about me, gettin’ all worked up?"
Your face burns under his scrutiny, but you don’t shy away. You arch your back, pressing yourself as close to him as possible, letting the heat of your body speak for you.
“Yeah,” you breathe, the confession trembling on your lips. “I need you, it hurts.”
Logan exhales sharply, like the words knocked the air out of him. His hands slide from your shoulders, rough palms gliding down the skin of your arms before settling right under the swell of your breasts.
“Where’s it achin’, baby?” he asks softly, words almost getting lost in the dark of the room. “Show me.”
You let out a soft breath, reaching down to take his hand in yours.
Without breaking eye contact, you guide his hand down your trembling body until his palm rests over the apex of your thighs, where the damp fabric of your shorts clings to your swollen folds.
“Here,” you whisper, voice barely audible above the rain pounding against his window.
A low growl rumbles from deep in his chest, and his fingers press more firmly against you, feeling the slick heat that’s soaked through the thin cotton. His eyes darken further, the green almost swallowed by the black of his pupils.
Logan’s thumb drags over your clit, slow and deliberate, coaxing a needy whimper from your lips.
“Jesus,” he mutters, his voice thick. “You’re drippin’ for me, aren’t you? Didn’t even need to touch you, and you’re already so fuckin’ wet.” 
You whimper softly, bucking your hips against his hand, desperate for more.
"I've been like this all night," you admit, your voice going high and needy. "Thinking about how good you make me feel. How much I want you."
Logan’s eyes lock onto yours, and there’s something new swirling through them, something you’ve never seen before.
A beat passes—too long—almost agonizing. His free hand lifts from your hip, gently cupping your cheek, fingers brushing against your skin, like he isn’t sure if he has the right to touch you like this. 
His thumb brushes your lip, his gaze flicking to your mouth before returning to your eyes, asking for permission, even though neither of you had ever really needed it before.
"Logan," you say, the sound a little breathless, unsure of how to navigate this sudden shift, but he doesn’t keep you waiting.
He closes the distance in a heartbeat, lips crashing into yours with a ferocity you didn’t expect.
It’s like the world around you falls away, leaving only the warmth of his lips, the taste of him, and the pressure of his body against yours. The raging storm outside dulling until it’s nothing but fuzzy background noise.
His kiss is rough, deep, urgent, but there’s something more in it, a slow unraveling. Like he’s trying to carve himself into you, a permanent mark, a reminder that he was here, even if he never says it out loud.
Logan tastes like rich smoke and whiskey, the sharp edge of him mixing with the sweet burn of need. It sends your head reeling, arms coming up to circle around his neck.
You can’t find the words to describe it, not with the way his fingers slide through the wetness gathering at your entrance, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core.
Your hips thrust upward, begging for more, your body hungry for the release he’s just out of reach of giving.
“Want you inside me, Logan,” you moan desperately, slick lips brushing his with every word. “Please.”
Logan's body stiffens against yours at the sound of your pleading, his grip tightening on your cheek like he's trying to anchor himself in the reality of what you're asking.
“Shit,” he growls under his breath, his forehead pressing to yours as he closes his eyes. His chest heaves, the tension in his body palpable. "I—" he pauses, struggling to form the words, but you can see it in his eyes. He's conflicted, desperate, yet still hesitant.
You move against him, your body restless, your need undeniable, feeling the rigid outline of his hard cock pressed firmly against your thigh. A thick plane of heat that has your pussy clenching around the tips of his fingers.
You don’t want to push him, not anymore. But you’re past the point of waiting for permission.
Your lips meet his again, softer this time, coaxing, until he finally gives in, groaning against your mouth as he kisses you back with an intensity that steals your breath.
“I want to feel you,” you whisper, your hands trailing down to the hem of his shirt, pushing it over the swell of his pecs. 
His skin is hot under your fingertips, rough and familiar. Your fingers trail lightly across his chest, nails scratching through the salt and pepper hair dusted across his skin as you urge him closer.
“Just the tip,” Logan mutters under his breath, barely above a whisper. His voice hoarse, like he’s bargaining with himself. “Just to make you feel good, but that’s it, understand?”
You bite your lip, the edge of frustration gnawing at you. It’s not everything you need, not everything you want, but it's something. And right now, it’s enough.
You nod your head, hands already moving to the front of his jeans. You undo the button with shaking fingers, tugging the zipper down and pushing the worn denim away. 
His cock springs free, already hard, leaking with the same desperation you feel. You run your fingers along his length, feeling the heat of him, the steady throb of his pulse.
Logan peels down the thin layer of your shorts, cursing under his breath when he finds you completely bare underneath, your slick pussy shining under the dim light.
You watch him, chest heaving, as he stares down at you—his eyes dark and full of something primal, something raw.
“Fuck,” he breathes, his fingers tracing the outline of your wetness. He groans low in his throat, his thumb circling your clit once before moving down, dipping inside you just barely. “You’re perfect, baby.”
“Logan,” you whine, thighs spreading in a clear invitation. You patience is running exceedingly thin, your whole body alight with the feeling of a raging forest fire
“I know,” he mutters, placating. He takes the throbbing length of his cock in his hand, swiftly settling between your legs. “I know.”
The thick head drags through your folds, smearing pre-come along your skin and adding even more to the mess between your legs.
A quiet moan passes through your swollen lips, your muscles tightening as he slides himself along your clit. A slow back and forth movement that sends sparks shooting up your spine.
Logan grits his teeth, his breath shallow, as he finally aligns himself with your clenching hole. 
The air around you feels charged, a taut thread stretched between anticipation and restraint. You shift your hips slightly, just enough to encourage him, your eyes locked on his as you beg him silently with your gaze.
Then, with a low growl that vibrates through you, he pushes forward, just enough to make you gasp in relief, the head of his cock sliding home in your entrance.
And though it’s only the tip, the sensation of him inside you is enough to set your world alight. 
You can feel it, deep in your bones—the simmering, searing heat that makes everything else fade into the background.
Logan presses his lips to your forehead, his breath hot against your skin as he keeps his movements slow, deliberate, his hands holding your hips steady. "This is what you wanted, huh? Got you begging for it, honey," he growls softly. "Even if I’m only givin’ you a taste."
His hips roll languidly, staying true to his word and never sinking deeper than the thick head of his cock. His hand grips the base tightly, his fist fucking slow strokes over the length of himself to where he’s spreading your pussy open.
His scarred knuckles bump against your clit with every stroke, fanning the fire building in your lower stomach.
“Feel so fuckin’ good, honey,” he groans into the skin of your neck, the pace of his hips speeding up ever so slightly. “Feels like heaven.”
You claw at the skin of his back, touch wild and desperate. It takes everything in you not to shift your hips down, to sheath the rest of his cock deep inside your and lock your ankles around his back so he can never leave again.
Logan’s lips find your neck, teeth grazing your skin as he shifts against you. “Tell me you want this,” he says, his voice low, almost a command, yet laced with something tender. “Tell me you want me.”
You meet his gaze without hesitation, your voice steady despite the tremble in your chest. “I want you. I’ve always wanted you.” 
The words come out without thought, raw and honest, and you see something in his eyes shift—a flicker of relief, of something deeper than lust.
Logan groans like he got shot, his body shuddering above you as a low growl tears its way from his chest. He fucks into you faster, short, quick thrusts that steal all the breath from your lungs.
Sparks go off behind your closed eyes, bright white and glittering. You can feel yourself getting closer, your body trembling as you grind up against him, meeting him halfway, needing more, needing release.
“Logan,” you gasp, your hands gripping his shoulders harder, nails digging in. “I’m so close. Please—”
“Let go,” he growls, his pace increasing, his body pressing harder against yours. “Come for me, sweetheart.”
With his command, you unravel, the world spinning around you as the pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless, gasping for air, your body quivering beneath him as he holds you through it.
Logan follows, tearing himself from the tight grip of your pussy with a sharp jerk of his hips, your name falling from his lips like a prayer as he shoots thick ropes of come over your slick folds.
Your body shakes at the feeling, a breathless whimper pulled from your slack lips at the sticky warmth of his release.
He collapses onto the mattress next to you, his body shuddering enough to match your own. The room falls into a deep silence, the only sounds your mingling breaths and the distant sound of thunder.
A sick sort of dread bursts through the sweet afterglow of your hazy mind, settling in your stomach like a lead weight. You think that this is the moment where Logan will realize what you’ve done, that he’ll retreat back into himself and send you away.
Send you back to your own room and leave you to lay in the cold aftermath of your own recklessness.
You brace for it, the instinct to pull away, to protect yourself from his withdrawal, but it never comes. 
Instead, you feel his strong arm slide over your waist, pulling you closer, his body heat a stark contrast to the chill creeping in from the window.
His breath is warm against your neck as he shifts, his fingers tracing absent circles on your skin in a move that’s so endearingly human it has your chest aching.
"Stay here tonight?" he asks, his voice rough, almost a whisper.
Your heart clenches, tears burning at your waterline at the vulnerability of his tone. It breaks the dam inside you, relief and something dangerously close to love flooding your body in a bursting rush of water.
“Of course,” you murmur, your voice shaky.
Logan’s hand tightens around you, his thumb brushing over your ribs. He presses a soft kiss to the bare skin of your shoulder, settling onto the mattress with a slow breath.
You drift to sleep more relaxed than you’ve felt in years, even with the knowledge of the slow journey that lies ahead of you. It won’t be easy, it never is with Logan. You can’t find it in yourself to care.
Because even though the rain falls, the desert doesn’t bloom overnight. 
And neither do you.
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enderlovez · 11 days ago
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No Germs Found
Spencer Reid x Female BAU Reader WORD COUNT: 1000+
Summary: You and the team are back in Arizona on another case, and when an amazing unfortunate mishap takes place at the front desk, everyone is forced to share rooms with each other.
Content Warning: non-sexual nudity, strong language in reference to the temperature, blushy Spence, mentions of heat stroke, pain from the heat, mentions of murder, slightly NSFW at the end, Spencer likes boobs- I MEAN WHO SAID THAT?
A/N This is kind of a continuation of another one of my works called Germs, but they don't necessarily need to be read side by side. There's only one mention of something that happened in the first part, and it's not really that important to the story, so...
────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ──────
None of you really anticipated being on another case so soon, at least not in the same place you'd just gotten home from a few days before, and the place you all seemed to... strongly dislike.
Maybe 'dislike' isn't the right word, but one thing is for sure — the moment you step foot off the jet, you feel like you're covered from head to toe in sweat, and your throat dried up like a fish in a desert.
Not to mention how you' were all stuck in a stuffy room all day, with crappy air conditioning that did absolutely nothing for anyone. So far you had practically nothing on the unsub, they were slippery as soap, and that stress — the stress of not knowing who they are, who they are going to kill next — has you in a very grumpy mood.
And despite the inconveniences, the day still somehow finds a way to get worse.
That much is clear as Hotch strolls up to our group of people with an annoyed look on his face — granted he almost always looks like that when we're having a hard time finding anything on the unsub.
"There was a malfunction in their system, and they overbooked their rooms," he says simply, only earning a choir of groans from us, "so we're going to have to double up tonight."
You throw your head back, a heavy sigh escaping your mouth. It's been a long day, and all you want is to lay around without your clothes on and go to sleep — but you can't exactly do that with someone else in there with you.
"You're free to pick your roommate yourself, but please, for the love of God, keep it professional," he finishes as he drops a small pile of numbered keys onto the little table in the reception.
Everyone immediately splits off into pairs, while you make no move to do anything, laying back on the armchair with your neck bent over the top, eyes closed against the white fluorescent lights.
"You know, frequent hyperextension of the neck can have negative effects on its structure and function," a familiar voice says from above you. "Around fifteen to twenty-five percent of North Americans experience lasting effects, such as chronic pain and nerve issues."
You peel your eyes open to find none other than the brilliant Spencer Reid standing over your head, dangling a key over your face, and just like that, all your apprehension melts away.
"Stop flirting with me, Spencer, it's incredibly unprofessional," you joke lightheartedly, a vibrant smile overtaking your face as you pluck the key from his fingers.
He doesn't seem to realize you're joking, though, because he immediately goes to defend himself, stuttering adorably and blushing firetruck red. "No, um, I wasn't — I would never flirt with you!" he tries to defend himself, only realizing a second later how it might've come off. "I-I mean I would, but that's not what I was trying to do."
You shake your head and laugh, standing from the armchair and threading your arm through his so you can lead him down the hallway towards the room you both would be staying in.
The room that was, technically, booked for only one person.
The room that only has one bed.
It's not like you don't want to share a bed with him, you're more worried that he might not want it, with his whole 'germ' thing. Not that he really seemed to care about that the other day, when he drank straight from your water bottle without a care in the world, then proceeded to ask you out on a date.
"I can sleep on the floor, if you'd like," he offers quietly as he shuts the door behind him.
You immediately dismiss that idea, shaking your head before the words are even fully out of his mouth. "You're not sleeping on the floor, Spencer, that's not fair," you say quickly, a sly smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. "That is, as long as you're alright with me sleeping in my underwear, because I will be doing that."
Of course you're half-joking — if there's any indication that he's uncomfortable with that idea you'll just sleep in a t-shirt and shorts, it's just that you'd much rather not in this heat.
"N-no, no," he says, his voice pitched just a little too high. He's blushing from head to toe, you know that without even looking at him. "You can s-sleep in whatever you want to, I don't mind."
It's entirely unprofessional, you know that, but you really can't help it as you instantly begin tearing your sweat-drenched clothes from your body, tossing them around haphazardly until you're left in only your bra and underwear. You don't waste another second, flopping onto the bed, briefly stretching your limbs out, then rolling to one side.
It's a relief to be out of those clothes...
Only now do you realize that Spencer has not moved an inch from were he was standing when you initially asked the question, face bright red, breathing uneven as he tries desperately to keep his eyes from dipping from your face.
"Come on, I don't bite," you say quietly, patting the empty space on the other side of the bed, meanly deciding it would be funny to tease him, "not unless you ask very nicely."
Nervously, he drops his stuff beside the door and makes his way towards the bed, siting on the edge of his side. You're sure you can see him sneaking glances down at your chest every now and then, when he thinks you're not paying attention.
Who is he kidding? You're always paying attention to him, clinging onto every word he says like you'll die if you forget a single one.
"Come on, Spencer," you urge, "you've literally shared spit with me, don't get all shy now."
You're phrasing it that way as a joke, and you're sure he knows that.
But the next words that come out of his mouth leave you stunned, mouth dropped open and butterflies stampeding through your stomach, heart beating a million miles an hour.
You're not expecting something like this to come out of his mouth, really, but after his strange confidence the other day in drinking all your water and asking you out, you're not sure what to expect now.
"Can you please bite me, then?"
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rottenfyre · 3 days ago
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Do you think Bruce would introduce y/n to the justice league? I could totally see her simping over the flash (Or conner Kent 👀).
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The first time you meet Conner, you’re immediately smitten. He’s tall, gorgeous, and has that perfect blend of confidence and awkward boy-next-door energy that you thrive on.
You don’t even bother introducing yourself properly. After the initial “Hey, pretty boy, wanna fuck?” incident, you lean into your new role as his unsolicited sugar mama.
Conner, tries to respond, but you’re already calculating how much of Bruce’s money you’ll need to spoil him.
During one mission, you dramatically announce, “Conner deserves everything! Clothes, gadgets, vacations—all on Daddy Bruce’s tab!”
Once, you bought him an entire motorcycle. When Bruce found out, he dragged you into the Batcave, his voice dangerously calm.
“Explain why my credit card statement says you purchased a $50,000 bike.”
“It’s for Conner. He deserves nice things.”
Bruce’s eye twitches. “Conner can fly. He doesn’t need a bike.”
You shrug. “But he looks so good on it, Bruce. Don’t be stingy.”
You’re constantly “borrowing” Bruce’s money for ridiculous things.
“Bruce, I need a million dollars.”
“For what?” he asks, already exhausted.
“To buy Conner a pony. He’s always wanted one.”
Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’m not giving you a million dollars.”
“Fine,” you huff. “But don’t come crying to me when Conner’s sad and pony-less.”
You have a love-hate relationship with Diana. You’re in awe of her beauty, strength, and grace, but you’re also deeply insecure.
During one mission, you stop mid-battle to dramatically compare your boobs to hers, much to everyone’s horror.
“Diana,” you sniff, clutching your chest, “I’ll never be able to compete with perfection like yours. It’s not fair!”
Diana, ever graceful, reassures you, “You’re beautiful in your own right.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re perfect,” you reply, before glaring at Bruce. “He never says anything nice to me.”
Bruce, utterly done: “Because you don’t deserve it.”
During a training session, you randomly grab Diana’s hand and place it on your boobs.
“Feel that, Diana. Am I Amazon material yet?”
She humors you, nodding seriously. “You’re getting there.”
You: “If I bulk up, can I join Themyscira?”
Barry finds you hilarious. He loves how unfiltered you are, even when it gets way too inappropriate.
Once, during a mission, you casually said, “Barry, do you think you could vibrate fast enough to—”
Barry, cutting you off, flailing: “DO NOT FINISH THAT SENTENCE.”
You just smirk. “I’m just saying. There’s potential.”
He starts speed-dodging your flirting, but you’re persistent. “One day, Speedy, you’ll come around.”
You have exactly one question for Hal when you meet him:
“So, hypothetically, could you make a functional dild—”
Hal, already holding up a hand: “Nope. Don’t even finish that thought.”
You pout. “Why do you even have the ring if you’re not going to use it creatively?”
Clark tries his best to remain polite and patient, but you test his limits.
“You must’ve been sculpted by the gods,” you tell him once, blatantly checking him out. “What’s it like being perfect, superdaddy?”
“I… um… thank you?” Clark stammers, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck while Bruce glares daggers at you.
You immediately give Arthur the nickname “Aquadaddy” and refuse to call him anything else.
“Look at those arms, Aquadaddy. What’s your bench press, a blue whale?”
Arthur smirks, clearly amused. “Something like that.”
You: “Bet you could throw me across the room.”
Arthur: “Why would I do that?”
You: “For fun. And because I’d enjoy it.”
You’re also obsessed with his tattoos.
“Did it hurt? Can I touch them? Are you planning on getting more? What if we got matching ones?!”
He indulges you for about five seconds before realizing you’re just trying to find an excuse to grope his arm.
“You’re worse than Barry,” he mutters.
During an underwater mission, you accidentally blurted out, “Do mermaids exist? Be honest.”
Arthur: “They’re… complicated.”
You: “Complicated? Are they, like, your exes?”
Arthur groans, swimming away while you cackle.
You’ve made it your life’s mission to torment Bruce.
When the League gathers for a meeting, you always find a way to embarrass him. One time, you slid into the room dramatically, pointed at him, and declared, “That man is the reason I’m not married yet!”
Bruce: “How is this my fault?”
You grin. “Because I’ll never find another man who looks as good in a suit. You’ve ruined my standards.”
You are Bruce’s biggest headache. Every time he turns around, you’re doing something wildly inappropriate.
During a League movie night, you plop yourself on the floor between his legs, resting your head on his thigh.
“Your thighs are so firm, Bruce. You ever think about becoming a leg model?”
Bruce just stares down at you, utterly done. “Go sit somewhere else.”
You grin up at him. “Nope. This is my spot now.”
As unhinged as you are, everyone in the League has a soft spot for you. You make them laugh, even if it’s at Bruce’s expense.
And while your antics are embarrassing for Bruce, they all know you’re a fierce fighter and incredibly loyal. When it matters, you’ve got their backs—and they wouldn’t trade you for anything.
Except Bruce. Bruce would absolutely trade you for five minutes of peace.
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solxamber · 24 days ago
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haii can i req octotrio, malleus, and leona (all seperate!) with a reader like kokomi from genshin thats also a jellyfish? romantic or not it doesn’t matter to me ^_^ also feel free to add more characters the more the merrier :3
Leona, Octatrio, Malleus, Riddle, Vil, Rook, Rollo x Kokomi!Jellyfish!Reader
a/n; i felt pretty inspired so i added quite a few <3
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Leona Kingscholar
Leona pretends he’s indifferent, but your serene and calculated demeanor throws him off.
The first time he sees your glowing form under the moonlight, he blinks twice, convinced he’s hallucinating. “Tch, what’s with the light show? Trying to blind me or something?” But secretly, he’s mesmerized.
Your habit of calmly handling disputes in the dorm (often between Ruggie and others) frustrates him. “You can’t just talk people into behaving,” he grumbles, only to watch you succeed every time.
Leona’s competitive side comes out when he learns about your strategic mind. Chess games with you become a weekly ritual, and losing to you annoys him more than he’ll admit.
Despite his gruffness, he’s deeply protective of you, especially when someone comments on your jellyfish-like features. “Say that again, and I’ll show you why you don’t mess with jellyfish.”
Sometimes, he watches you float gracefully in water, pretending he’s there for a nap. “Stop staring at me, Leona.” “Who’s staring? I’m just resting my eyes.”
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Azul Ashengrotto
Azul is immediately intrigued by your jellyfish traits and calm demeanor—after all, you’re a marine creature, and that’s his territory.
Your bioluminescence is something he secretly envies, though he’ll never admit it. “A marvelous ability,” he says while scribbling notes for future contracts.
Your strategic thinking makes you one of the few people who can keep up with him in negotiations. He offers you a job at the Lounge almost immediately, “to better utilize your talents.”
Whenever Floyd or Jade annoys him, Azul uses you as a buffer. “Perhaps you could… calm them down?” And, to his astonishment, it works. Even Floyd listens to you.
He’s absolutely fascinated by your glowing hair and jellyfish-like appendages. “Do they serve a specific function, or are they purely aesthetic?” he asks while trying not to sound overly eager.
Azul secretly finds your tranquil nature soothing. After a long day of scheming, he’ll seek your company under the guise of “strategic discussions,” but really, he just wants to hear your voice.
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Jade Leech
Jade is utterly fascinated by you from the moment he meets you. Your resemblance to a jellyfish sparks his curiosity.
He constantly asks you questions about your biology, glowing abilities, and lifestyle. “Do you use your bioluminescence to lure prey, or is it purely decorative?”
Jade enjoys teasing you, especially when you’re peacefully floating in water. “You look so serene. It’s almost a shame to disturb you.” Then he splashes you.
He respects your calm and collected demeanor, but he’s determined to find out what flusters you. Watching your serene mask slip is his new favorite pastime.
If someone dares insult you, Jade’s smile grows even sharper. “I wouldn’t recommend making an enemy of a jellyfish, you know. They’re far more dangerous than they appear.”
He enjoys your company during his hikes, fascinated by how your glowing presence adds an ethereal beauty to the forest.
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Floyd Leech
Floyd is absolutely obsessed with you. You’re a jellyfish, and jellyfish are cool—end of story.
He immediately nicknames you “Jelly,” much to your mild exasperation. “C’mon, Jelly! Let’s go do something fun!”
Floyd loves poking at your glowing features. “What happens if I touch this? Will it zap me?” (You have to swat his hand away repeatedly.)
Your calm nature intrigues him. “How do you stay so chill all the time? Don’t you ever wanna, like, flip out?” He sees it as a personal challenge to get you riled up.
He’s oddly protective of you. If anyone messes with you, Floyd’s mood sours instantly, and you have to calm him down before he does something drastic.
Floyd loves dragging you into the water to “swim like real jellyfish.” His playful nature contrasts hilariously with your serene floating.
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus finds you absolutely enchanting. Your ethereal glow and calm presence remind him of a fairytale.
The first time he sees you glowing in the dark, he’s convinced you’re some sort of spirit. “Are you a creature of the night, summoned by the stars?” You laugh, which only confuses him more.
He adores your serene demeanor and often seeks your company when he’s feeling lonely. “You have a calming presence. It is… soothing.”
Your strategic mind impresses him. He occasionally consults you on matters of state, and your insight leaves him in awe.
Malleus is enchanted by your glowing features and bioluminescence. He often compares you to the stars and moon. “You shine as brightly as the night sky,” he says, his voice soft.
He’s protective of you, especially when others don’t understand your unique traits. “Anyone who dares mock your beauty will answer to me,” he declares, his aura dark and foreboding.
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Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle is equal parts fascinated and exasperated by your serene and dreamy nature.
He struggles to reconcile your gentle demeanor with the strict order he upholds. “You can’t just let them get away with breaking rules.” But you always seem to handle things so effortlessly, he can’t help but feel a little envious.
The first time he sees your bioluminescence, he’s stunned. “W-What are you glowing for? Is that some sort of trick?” He secretly thinks it’s mesmerizing.
Your calmness has a soothing effect on him during his temperamental moments. When you gently suggest he take a deep breath, he can’t find it in himself to argue.
Your strategic mind earns his respect, especially when you help him resolve dorm conflicts with minimal drama. He finds himself seeking your counsel more often than he’d like to admit.
He tries to deny how much your presence comforts him, but when you glow softly under the moonlight, he’s reminded of the beauty of following one’s heart.
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Vil Schoenheit
Vil finds you utterly captivating, both for your glowing beauty and your ability to remain so composed under pressure.
He immediately notices your bioluminescence and praises it as “natural elegance.” He may even use it as inspiration for his next photoshoot.
Vil admires your calm demeanor but insists on refining your presentation. “Grace comes naturally to you, but you must carry it with intention.”
Your ability to remain poised even under stress makes him jealous sometimes. He spends hours perfecting himself while you seem effortlessly radiant.
The two of you often engage in long conversations about leadership and balance. He’s impressed by your thoughtful insight, though he won’t always admit it.
He pretends not to care when others praise your ethereal glow, but he can’t help but feel proud, especially when you stand by his side at events.
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Rook Hunt
Rook is absolutely enchanted by your jellyfish-inspired traits and ethereal aura.
The first time he sees your bioluminescence, he dramatically declares, “Magnifique! You are a creature of the heavens, a glowing gem beneath the sea!”
Rook constantly watches you, fascinated by the way you move and speak. He calls it research, but it’s really just admiration.
Your calmness intrigues him. He frequently tests your patience with his flamboyant antics, but you never falter, much to his delight.
He adores how your strategic mind contrasts with your soft demeanor. “You are as cunning as you are serene, ma chérie méduse.”
Rook writes poems inspired by your bioluminescent glow, claiming that no words could ever truly capture your beauty.
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Rollo Flamme
Rollo is conflicted about you. Your calm, composed nature intrigues him, but your glowing features remind him of magic—something he loathes.
The first time he sees you glowing, he’s visibly unsettled. “Is this some kind of magic trick? I don’t trust it.” Yet, he can’t look away.
Your tranquil demeanor softens his usual disdain. He begrudgingly admits that you’re… tolerable, though his fascination with you grows daily.
Rollo’s jealousy flares whenever others praise your ethereal beauty. “They’re only bewitched by appearances,” he mutters, trying to convince himself he’s not affected.
Your intelligence earns his respect, though he won’t openly say it. He finds himself relying on your calm judgment more than he’d like.
Despite his feelings about magic, he catches himself enjoying the way your glow lights up dark spaces. It’s almost… comforting.
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Masterlist
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lustlovehart · 28 days ago
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Dang over 700, that’s impressive congrats!
If you still have requests open, maybe we can see/hear more about Sebek? I love the idea of him as a swamp monster tsundere dumping flowers on MH! Reader and find him fun~
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Summary: Humans are pests. They’re the reason Malleus has fallen from grace, and why Lilia is no longer in his prime. He hates you, and everything your job stands for. He hates the way you’re not like them. He hates how you’re too kind. He wants to hate you, yet he can’t at all.
Warnings: Tiny bit of Tsundere Sebek, He thinks about 💀 you (he changes his mind dw guys!!), Mentions of his monster crimes, Little tiny hint of obsession, Implied human eating, Sebek sketch at end!
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Your feet are dipped into the water, ripples cascading off where the limbs land, tranquil and cold, the shadows of the trees just further enriching the experience.
The one thing that isn’t relaxing about the water however, may as well be the guardian of the swamp, who’s practically breathing down your neck.
“Well human? Have you had your fill of this sacred marsh? I will not have you linger here longer than necessary! I only allowed you in to show the true essence of beings like us.”
Despite what leaves his mouth, you have a striking feeling that he won’t throw you out.
Because, that’s the fourth time he’s said that, and he’s yet to drag you out.
Through the close proximity, you place your palm on his face, softly pushing him away in your annoyance, yet like a magnet, he attracts himself right back to you, finding his place in the area to be right by your side.
“I’ve drowned many of your kind, don’t push me away so carelessly…!”
“Have you drowned me yet?” He stutters for a moment, racking his brain to find a suitable excuse as to why that is. He stops when you lean back on the grass, looking up at the sky as you lay down.
But to your dismay, he finds one.
“My liege wants you alive, so we must do what he wants.”
“You want the best for him right? What if the best for him is getting rid of me?” You’ve once again stopped any retort on his tongue, your eyes fluttering shut. Your feet continues to dangle in his waters, breath steadying as you let the sound of dew drops falling into the marsh invade your ears.
In your slumber, you don’t notice the way Sebeks scaley face is centimeters away from yours, trembling inhales. You’re right. Getting rid of humans is the best for his liege, for… all monsters really.
His clawed hand reaches up towards your throat, his nails scratching a line in your skin. Webbed fingers tremble, he could, he really could…
He could help everyone.
His hand falls, his forehead falling onto yours. His skin is rough, but he takes care in placing his head softly on yours to not wake you up. His palm follows in suit, laying itself on your throat, cold blood feeling the warmth of your mortal body.
And your heart. He remembers reading about human hearts, how they’re important to they’re bodily functions. Without it, you’d die. It’d be easier than killing you himself. He doesn't know which is better, for himself. He could take pride knowing he rid the world of one more wretched monster hunter, or he could rest in comfort knowing you passed in peace.
Sebek doesn’t notice the way the plants have emerged from the water, taking hold of your legs. There’s a particular branch that caresses your face in a certain manner, one completely inappropriate for a human. His mouth hangs up, immediately ripping the wood from your flesh. He throws the twig away, his head turning when your visibly stir at the motion.
He’s not well versed in human care. He's read about it, but obviously he’s never acted upon it! His hands fumble, if he’s correct, one of the quickest ways to knock a human out is to hit them really hard…! But… He doesn’t wanna do that—
Ah, you’re asleep again.
Sebek carefully lifts himself from your body, water dripping onto the grass from his hair. He slowly backs himself into the water, the only part visible being his head, before entirely disappearing into the murky water.
He realizes something in the comfort of his pond.
He… He wouldn’t need to kill you if you just… never left. Neither would you ever disturb the peace of any other beasts.
Under that water, he ties a knot, petals floating above the marsh at his bouquet. As well as a hand, that drops deep down. A coworker of yours. He’s unsure why you’re the only one he’s not too keen on consuming, yet he can so easily do it to those you know.
It doesn’t matter. They’re the same. Taste the same too.
You awake to a lonely sight, Sebek gone from the scene. Though, your chest feels heavier than usual. You look down, and an array of different plants and greenery fill your vision. It’s wrapped in flimsy wood bark, moss tying the piece together.
There’s a note hastily inscribed.
Human, leave soon.
Even without reading the message you know it’s Sebek. You assume it’s from his human hatred he writes such mean words.
In truth, that’s part of it. You’ll never know the other is him not wanting to see the corpses at the bottom of his home. Or maybe you will. Especially when you notice a shiny pendant gifted inside the flowers. Assuming it to be a sweet gesture from Sebek you smile at it. Such a happiness slowly fades when you feel a certain familiarity with the necklace.
… You feel like you’ve seen this before.
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prettymfwrites · 26 days ago
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You're Stuck With Us
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Caitlyn x Vi x Injured Female Reader
Summary: You get badly injured and try to hide it from your girlfriends. (Angst & Fluff)
tried to make this VERY visual, so it may lag<3
♡*♡∞:。.。𝐶𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑 。.。:∞♡*♡
The undercity's air hung heavy with tension as Caitlyn, Vi, and you navigated through the dimly lit alleyways. The trio had been tracking a lead on Jinx, but the path had led to Sevika instead—never a simple encounter.
The fight broke out before words could be exchanged. Sevika's bionic arm whirred with power, swinging dangerously close to Vi, who expertly dodged before landing a solid punch to Sevika's side. Caitlyn covered from a distance, sharp eyes tracking Sevika’s movements as she fired calculated shots.
"She's tougher than usual," Caitlyn muttered, reloading her rifle.
"I’ve got her!" Vi shouted, grappling Sevika and exchanging brutal punches. You moved to help, keeping Sevika’s attention split, dodging her arm as she swung in your direction.
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But then Caitlyn found her opening. A sharp crack echoed through the alley as her bullet hit Sevika’s bionic arm. Sparks flew, and the mechanical limb sputtered and hissed before ceasing to function.
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Sevika staggered, her face twisting in frustration. "I'll let your sweet sister do the honors." She growled, retreating backwards slowly before turning around fully.
"Bitch." Vi huffed under her breath, panting as she leaned on her knees.
The adrenaline was still pumping as Caitlyn approached, checking her rifle for damage. "Everyone alright?" she asked, her eyes darting between you and Vi.
"Peachy," Vi replied with a smirk, though her limp betrayed her bravado.
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You forced a smile, hoping to hide the growing chill in your body. Looking down, you noticed a dark stain spreading across your shirt. The sharp pain in your side you’d ignored during the fight now screamed for attention.
"You okay, muffin?" Vi asked, noticing your slight wince.
"Yeah," you lied, brushing it off. "Just... cold and sore. I really want to lie down."
Vi narrowed her eyes at you, but nodded. She shrugged off her jacket and draped it over your shoulders. "Here. Let’s get out of here."
Caitlyn looped her arm under Vi’s, supporting her as the three of you began walking through the winding alleys. They started talking, discussing the next steps in tracking Jinx and throwing in playful jabs at each other. You tried to join in but found yourself unusually quiet, focusing instead on keeping one foot in front of the other.
The world around you blurred as the streetlights began to smudge together. Your hand drifted to your side, coming away slick with blood. You stared at your palm, your vision swimming, before your knees buckled.
"Hey—!" Vi shouted, but Caitlyn caught you before you hit the ground.
"What's going on?!" Vi knelt beside you, panic flaring in her voice.
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Caitlyn’s face twisted in worry as she cradled you. "She’s shaking—" Her words stopped abruptly as she felt the wetness seep through her lap. Pulling her hand away, she saw the blood.
Her breath hitched. "No, no, no. Please, no."
Vi’s gaze followed Caitlyn’s to the crimson spreading from under her jacket. She immediately began unbuttoning it to assess the wound. "Damn it, why didn’t you say anything?!" she growled, pressing her hands to the wound.
You tried to answer, but your breaths came too shallow, too fast. Vi cursed under her breath, her voice cracking as she muttered, "Stay with us. Please, muffin."
Together, Vi and Caitlyn hoisted you up, Vi carrying you bridal style as they broke into a desperate sprint for the surface. Caitlyn’s voice rang out, calling for help as they stumbled into the topside streets.
People quickly gathered, gasping at the sight of your bloodied form. Medics rushed forward, and you were whisked away, leaving Vi and Caitlyn standing there, trembling and covered in your blood.
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---
The waiting room was suffocatingly silent. Vi paced back and forth, fists clenched, while Caitlyn sat hunched, her head in her hands.
"Why didn’t I notice sooner?" Vi muttered, slamming her fist into the wall, the sound echoing through the room.
"Vi, stop," Caitlyn said softly, standing and pulling her partner into a hug. Vi’s tough exterior cracked as she buried her face in Caitlyn’s shoulder, tears soaking into her shirt.
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"I should’ve done something," Vi choked out.
"You did," Caitlyn whispered. "We both did. She’s strong. She’ll pull through."
They stayed like that until a nurse entered, followed by Jayce. "You can see her now," the nurse said with a reassuring smile.
"Jayce?" Caitlyn asked, confused.
"I helped stabilize her with Hextech," he explained quickly, stepping aside.
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They rushed into your room, their eyes immediately falling on you. You were pale, propped up in bed with an exhausted but warm smile.
"You’re awake," Caitlyn breathed, rushing to your side and gently taking your hand.
Vi was at your other side in an instant, her hands cradling your face as she pressed soft kisses to your forehead. "Don’t ever scare us like that again, muffin," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
"Not my best moment," you joked weakly. "But hey, at least I got fancy Hextech upgrades now."
Their gazes shifted to your side, where your wound glowed faintly with blue light.
"Jayce works fast," Caitlyn said, shaking her head in disbelief before pulling him into a tight hug.
Vi chuckled softly, brushing her lips over the glowing wound. "You’re stuck with us, y’know that?"
"Wouldn’t have it any other way," you replied.
They stayed by your side that night, alternating between serious conversations and soft reassurances. Eventually, the room fell quiet as Vi and Caitlyn dozed off, each holding one of your hands. For the first time in what felt like forever, you felt safe.
__________
I take requests!
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torrancefavgirl · 9 months ago
Note
i was wondering if you could do an enemies to lover smut with percy jackson and reader??? like she beats him in a sword fight and then he takes his anger out on her in poseidon's cabin? but it starts as hate sex but turns into loving sex?
(Ride it) just lose control
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Pairing: enemies to lovers percy jackson x reader
Warnings: language, smut 18+, couple uses of y/n
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Y/n didn't wanna wake up or get out of bed today. You may ask why it's a beautiful spring day and the weather is absolutely amazing. Well, she had a sparring session today with the person who she would describe as the definition of the word 'asshole' and 'piece of shit', and that is percy jackson himself.
She tried to go on about her day trying not to think about the shit she has to do after lunch today. She would absolutely rather be on dish washing duty for a whole week than to be in Percy's presence. She couldn't even look at him without wanting to rip his face to shreds. But, she still found herself starring at him. How his black hair looks good even after he just rolled out of bed and how...
"Okay what the fuck are you doing stop it" she thought to herself shaking her head a bit.
It's been 15 minutes since they started sparring. They're both sweating buckets and they both wanna get this over with.
Percy was stressed the fuck out because she was winning. The reason why she was training with him anyway was because she wanted to get better but she's somehow beating him.
Y/n was having the time of her life seeing him so worked up over a little sparring match.
"Are you sure you're the best around here?, cause I rarely pick up a sword and I'm winning" she said looking at him with a smirk.
"You need to drop the attitude or you're not gonna like what's gonna happen" percy said through gritted teeth.
Not even a second later he was disarmed and she had the tip of her sword on his Adam's apple.
They were both breathing hard and heavy it was hot as shit now. Percy's shirt stuck to his abdomen making her eyes suddenly drop on accident. He smirked seeing where she was looking.
She swore she could she incredible fury and anger in Percy's eyes over a stupid sword fight. But then he grabbed her sword and threw it on the ground.
"Drop. The. Attitude. Now." He said grabbing her face tightly squishing her cheeks.
"Or fucking what?" She said biting back.
Percy all of a sudden grabs her hand tightening his grip and dragging her to the poseidon cabin.
He closed the door behind him and threw her on the bed.
"What the fuck are you doing??" She said absolutely shocked at his behavior.
"You need someone to fuck the attitude out of you don't you?" He said taking his shirt off and crashing his lips to hers.
He bit her bottom lip and shoved his tongue in her mouth while touching all over her body. She started getting hot, secretly having thought about this too many times late at night alone in her cabin.
She kept kissing his lips till they couldn't function anymore.
"I need you now" percy said looking into her eyes.
"Then have me" She said kissing him aggressively again.
Percy flipped them over looking up at her.
"Ride me" He said in a demanding tone
"Aren't you like the guy you're supposed to take care of me during shit like this?" She lifts a brow in question.
" will with that attitude you gotta take care of both of us now pretty girl" He said slapping her ass.
She jolted forward out of surprise. Then began stripping and teasing him with her body. Gently swaying her hips on top of him. He immediately grabs her tits not believing that this is actually happening and the girl he wants but hates the most is naked in front of him right now.
She sank down onto his cock feeling the amazing but painful stretch of him. His tip nudging her cervix.
She started to move throwing her head back and putting her hands on his chest.
"Omg who would've thought you'd feel this fucking good?" She says moaning.
"Faster baby you can do it" percy egged her on.
She tried to go faster but couldn't. Percy was sick of it so he grabbed her hips slamming into her In a brutal force.
She was moaning like crazy and practically screaming his name. Percy looks down seeing the milky ring around his shaft from her pussy.
" holy fucking God, if only people knew how much you actually hate me right now, huh?" He says taunting her. She looks at him with teary eyes from the pleasure.
"Hey, hey baby you okay? Am I going too hard? I'm so sorry pretty girl" percy says stopping, hugging her to his chest.
"I'm okay I promise" She says softly whispering the words on his lips. He kept her close to his chest looking at her to check if it's okay to keep going.
She slightly nodded to let him know to keep going. He starts moving again but so slow and so sweet this time, taking all his time with her.
The truth is percy always had a crush on her but she hated him since the beginning for some reason so he didn't know what to do but reciprocate the hate back.
But y/n she liked percy ever since they met, she just didn't know how to deal with her feelings. She realizes that's no excuse for treating him that way, but she was just a kid afraid of her feelings.
Percy kept trusting into her, kissing her passionately, holding her to his chest feeling like she's going to disappear.
Moaning into each other's mouths "I'm gonna cum percy" she says looking at him with blury eyes.
"It's okay, baby cum for me come one. That's my good girl good job" He said praising her to no end while she spasms around his thick cock. He thrusts a couple more times before Cumming too.
They laid there in each other's arms so happy they finally got their feelings out of the way.
Y/n was falling asleep when percy gently kissed her face to wake her.
"Baby let's clean up together first before we sleep okay?" He said stroking her hair
"Mhmmm" She hums clearly out of it but agreeing with him.
Percy carries her to the bathroom in his cabin to clean her up. Then he tucks them both in all cozy.
"Goodnight, baby sweet dreams, we'll talk tomorrow" He says, kissing her forehead before passing out himself.
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clarencethemouse · 5 months ago
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Daydreams
requested from @hulkingharbor
note: I'm attaching this to the Bleeding Light lore because I love the character I made, and this scenario is eating me alive :))
this is a long one. Sorry not sorry
Summary: Kurt doubts his beauty and worth. Ready takes it upon themselves to prove how much he means to them. Angst and fluff (kinda spicy but also not). Gender-neutral reader.
The mansion roof was a lonely place, but good to relax one's mind. Good to let creativity flow without the judgment of coworkers and students. Good to drown out the never-ending plaguing thoughts with bird chirps and whistling wind.
But no better remedy to stress is a best friend.
You and Kurt stopped conversing on the roof a long time ago. All that was left was a stagnant, yet calm silence. You lay on the bare concrete, letting each spinal joint decompress and muscles settle. Kurt sat next to you, staring off into the horizon, which was turning into a marvelous spectacle of purples and oranges.
You turned on your side, facing him with your body and eyes. He didn't notice you, but this didn't phase you. All you needed was to see him.
"You're so beautiful."
The words barely escaped, the whisper sticking in your throat. Kurt's head whipped down to you. Those perfect golden eyes flashed with confusion. "Pardon?"
A soft smile graced your cheeks. Your eyes couldn't help but light. "I said you're beautiful."
Kurt's eyes fell from you. You watched his jaw clench and muscles agitate. Several moments passed before he spoke again, and the one-word response grated on your mind with his frustration.
"Why?"
"Why am I talking?" Your grin faltered.
"Why are you doing this?" His accent tainted his words thicker, his telltale sign of nerves. You pushed yourself up to level with his face. "Please stop lying."
"Love, I'm not lying-"
Kurt's nearest hand hit yours away as you tried to touch him. "I'm not in the mood. Stop."
"Kurt, I'm not lying!" You ducked around to peer under his insistently ducked head. "Why would I lie? Have I ever lied like that before?"
"Because... stop." He scooted away from your gaze. His tail flicked in agitation - he never used that with you. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."
Your lips settled in a horrified frown. "Why do you think I'm lying? Please talk to me."
Kurt did not talk to you. He disappeared without another word in a cloud of purple and black smoke.
You threw your hands up, head whipping around the perimeter of the roof. "What the fuck?" You shouted to the sky. No response. No Kurt. You shuffled together your papers and pens, throwing everything into a haphazard pile in your arms before booking it down the stairs.
Nothing tugged at your heart more than to find Kurt immediately, but you couldn't function with your supplies so loose in your arms. Shouting for him all the way, you threw open your bedroom door and let the papers and pens fall to the floor just inside. Only mere feet back down the hall, Rogue chased you down.
"Y/N! Are ya okay?" Her powerful hands landed on your shoulder, concern painted across her lovely face.
"Have you seen Kurt? He just ran away from me after we had an argument. I'm worried for him."
"Oh, nah, I'm sorry, sugah. Do ya want me to find 'im for ya?"
You huffed a strong sigh from your mouth, propping your hands on your hips. A dull lump was forming deep in your throat. "No. This is my problem."
Your next stop was his bedroom. It had to be. His only other safe place was the roof, which he would never hide on if he thought you could still be there.
Your breath quickened with every nearing step to his door. With the number of times you'd made this walk in happiness, in giddy readiness for a late-night movie or jam session to grade papers, the growing pit of fear in your stomach should not be so frightening. Never before could you fathom dreading his bedroom.
Your knuckles made a quick rhythm against the door, calling his name one more time. You hated to risk invading his privacy, but you were desperate just to see him; a fulfilling conversation aside.
Slowly the door creaked open, revealing his empty bedroom. After a quick sweep of the visible areas, you backed away to retreat before a soft sniffle hit your ears. Barely, just beyond the edge of the couch, a dark spade lay pathetically on the wooden floor. As quietly as possible you closed the door, tip-toeing to the side of the couch. The side of Kurt's body revealed itself by the side coffee table.
"Please go away."
"Not until you talk to me, Love." You crept closer. The air between you fizzled. He was contemplating leaving again. Your body lurched to the floor, landing one hand on his bicep. "Please! Don't leave me!"
Kurt tossed your hand to the side. His curls hid most of his face, which you could sacrifice a finger to see fully. Anything to see him. You sighed, crossing your legs before him. "Why do you think I'm lying?" You prompted again, your voice softer with a newfound patience. "I'm here for you. What will it take for you to talk to me?"
A hand freed itself from the safety of his lap to wipe the running nose beneath the tear-soaked cheeks. "Ich weiß nicht was ich tun soll." His shoulders heaved.
"Babe, I still don't understand," you muttered pathetically.
Kurt's tongue swiped over his bottom lip. Your mind flashed to inappropriate places. "I am not beautiful," he stated, his flawless curls shaking with his head.
Okay. The nub of the problem.
This scenario had run through your head a hundred times before, all in different ways. Different places. You or him being the first to initiate. But no amount of practice in your imagination could prepare you for the looming threat of destroying the best relationship in your life.
Anything for a chance to cheer him up. To see his gorgeous smile, his perfect eyes light up for only a few more minutes.
"Okay. I'm going to tell you this once and you just... need to believe me," you swallowed the bile - the fear that everything could go wrong. That you had ruined everything so perfect about your relationship with three simple words in a moment of adoration. "I do love you. You are my best friend. I cherish our friendship so much-"
"Stop..." Kurt tossed his head back. Given the context, you despised the way his Adam's apple bobbed and the way you wanted to study its perfection under a microscope.
"Just- let me get through this all. I cherish our friendship so much. You understand me better than anyone. I feel the safest around you. And I love the endless nights bonding over the silly nerd shit on the balcony with endless ice cream." This was it. No going back now. "But the amount of times I've gone to bed at night daydreaming about something as simple as going on a date with you... I mean, a proper date. And I imagine so many kisses, so many other things that friends don't do. Sometimes, I even get so desperate that I go through scenarios from that day, but I imagine I'm treating you the way I truly want to."
You couldn't look at him anymore. If so, you may see him staring back at you with such horror and disgust, that you would never be able to look at yourself in the mirror again. "And I do this just in the hope that the daydream will turn into a real dream, and I can sleep through those lovely imaginings and wake up... and... yeah. That is that."
Nothing from him. No words, no shift in position. All you could offer now was the closing line you rehearsed in your mind a hundred times since opening his door.
"I do think you're beautiful. You're the most beautiful person in this entire damn mansion. I'm not daydreaming about anyone else."
When the suspense was ready to rip your heart open, you finally peeked. Kurt was staring. Not with disgust, but with wonder. Hope.
"How do you think these things?" was all he could muster out.
"Pardon?"
His six fingers fidgeted with themselves. You wanted nothing more than to reach out, take them, and kiss each of them until all doubts were ridden from his pretty little head.
"I don't understand. The last person I gave my heart to was disgusted. Horrified by me. I don't understand how you... don't."
Impossible. The thought of him with someone else, no matter how long before you, dried your mouth and made you want to hurl right there. But even more so, the thought of anyone convincing him such horrible narratives could be true... it made your blood boil. Your skin crawl. Nothing was comprehensible to you of how anyone could think of him in such a way. Not Kurt; not the handsome, skilled, kind, and brave man in front of you.
He was too kind for the world. No matter what became of him, how the world treated him, he never faced it with hate. Never pure, genuine hate for the world. Only for himself.
Slowly, knees cracking and heart aching, you reached for him as you willed yourself to stand. Kurt watched you silently beg him for a moment before accepting the offer. You led him to the edge of his bed and simply sat. Held his hands harder when he allowed himself to settle and relax.
Apprehensively, you sucked in a deep breath and steeled your eyes with his. "Please hear me, Love. You are not horrifying, Kurt. You're not disgusting. You are not. I love you, whether or not you choose to believe it, I love you. Both as a friend and as... anything else. However you'll take me."
Your hands snaked up to his neck, cupping the lean muscles beneath your palms. Warm, soft, and true. "It's okay if you don't reciprocate. I just need you to know that someone sees you as beautiful. I would never lie to you."
As if time stopped and you were left fighting through molasses space, your lips touched his cheek. Lower to his chin. Lower to his neck.
"I think your skin is so lovely. It's my second favorite color; second only to yellow."
His throat rumbled under your lips. A firework of giddiness exploded within your stomach.
While your lips traveled onto his collarbone with delicate kisses, daring to taste the rich blue skin only twice, your hands traveled with a mind of their own to play with his three-fingered hands.
"People have three fingers all the time. I see this as no issue." You brought one of his hands to your face, planting more kisses on his palm and down each individual finger.
"I quite like your ears," you confess, dragging one finger along the edge to mess with the pointy tip. "You know folks dig the elves from Lord of the Rings. So how could this be any different?" You smile.
For the first time since you dared call him what he was, Kurt smiled back. He grinned enough to flash the brilliantly pointed canines, which evoked vivid images you would dare never tell your mother.
You were about to start the journey down his chest, something you'd been all too excited to see for months, when the other hand laid a delicate grip to your chin. Masterfully, Kurt steered your face to his, and within milliseconds your daydreams came true.
His lips were still salty from the onslaught of tears, but nothing could have tasted sweeter. Together your lips worked as one, moving and sucking as though life itself lay beyond. Your back hit the mattress, hands scattering to touch every inch of his lean torso.
And then his shirt was off.
While you admired him, finally unburdened and accepting of your words, his mischievous tail snaked to your torso. Butterflies fluttered deep into your abdomen when the strong tail wrapped partially around your waist and lifted you closer to Kurt's body. He smirked down at you, amused by your desperate squirm.
"Is this what you dream of, schatz?"
A sly giggle escaped you as one finger ran down his back, so near to the spine to send gentle shivers through his entire nervous system. "You have fur," you smiled, tilting your head curiously.
"Ja?"
"It's cute." You pulled his face down to you again. You allowed this kiss to be slower. To taste him more. When Kurt pulled back with a wider smile than ever before, there was room in his eyes for nothing more than joy and relief.
"Ich liebe dich."
You ran your lovesick fingers through that beautiful head of hair. You knew what that phrase meant.
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hotchnerwrites · 7 days ago
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can you maybe do hotchner period smut?? if you’re comfortable with it
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(image from pinterest)
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x f!reader
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: NSFW, smut (18+ only), period sex, female anatomy on reader, no use of (y/n), touchy Aaron hehe, swear words
A/N: Thank you for your request, anon! I really hope you like it :) Please excuse any grammatical errors, I speed-wrote this.
My requests are open. Send me stuff!
Your cramps were no match for the industrial-strength painkillers you had popped an hour ago. Feeling less like shit and more like a functional human, you grab your headphones and head to the kitchen to finish the washing. You’d spent yesterday baking, and the result had been one delicious batch of muffins and a battalion of baking dishes. The music blaring concealed the noises from the real world and you lost yourself in the thudding bass as you wipe the glasses and put them back in place. As you stretch to reach the top shelf, you feel an arm slide across your belly. You spin in fear, hands coming up in a defensive position. You would’ve started swinging but the familiar cologne stopped you. 
“Jesus Christ, Aaron, you scared the shit out of me! Announce yourself next time!” You yelp, smacking his chest. Aaron laughs and holds you closer. He presses a kiss to your temple and slides your headphones off. “I missed you, honey.”
You roll your eyes in mock annoyance and evade his kiss. “What’s wrong, honey,” Aaron questions. You never shy away from his kisses. You sigh and wish the painkillers would also have worked for your foul mood. “I’m sorry, I just started my period, and I feel like shit.”
You see understanding fill Aaron’s eyes immediately. “Oh honey,” he says sympathetically, “How can I help?”
“It’s ok, I’m fine. But can we order in today? I’ve been thinking about that poke bowl place this whole week.”
Aaron nods and immediately places a call to the restaurant. 
———
A few hours later, belly full and heart happy, you lean against the couch. Aaron sweeps away the takeaway containers. He’s wearing his old Harvard Law sweatshirt, and his hair is messy. He looks so much younger like this. You stare at his back fondly as he closes the kitchen for the night. Once he’s done, he strides over to where you’re sitting, presses a kiss to your forehead and flops down next to you. He leans in again, kissing you on the mouth this time. 
“Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs. His voice is soft but you can hear a slight rasp. The one he gets when he wants you. Your mouth is too busy pressing open-mouth kisses against his to reply. The languid motions of his tongue against yours turn your mind to mush and a deep groan escapes you. You can feel heat pooling between your legs and before things get beyond you, you pull back. Aaron’s staring at you, eyes slightly glossy and lips kiss-bitten. He looks slightly confused but waits for you to speak. God, he looks delicious. 
“Aaron, Aaron, we can’t, I’m on my period,” you sigh. He slides a large hand under your sweatshirt and pulls you closer. “I don’t care,” his tone brooks no argument. He pulls your face back to yours and swipes his tongue against your lips before licking the inside of your mouth. “I missed you so much today, honey, your period isn’t gonna get in my way, not today,” he mumbles against you. He looks drunk on your touches. Your head is already a little mushy and you don’t respond. Instead, you grind your hips against his lap. 
“Besides,” he continues, “just ask Reid. I’m sure there are five different articles he can cite where orgasms are good for relieving cramps.” 
You’re too far gone at this point. You utter a silent thanks for tossing a towel on the couch to catch crumbs, you had no idea it would serve a different purpose then. 
Aaron continues his ministrations and peels your shirt off you. You hadn’t opted for a bra today, which made things easier for him. He attacks your nipples with the ferocity of a man starved. You throw your head back as pleasure shoots from your breasts to your brain. His mouth felt so good sucking on you. You could never get enough of this. 
He holds onto your hips to support you and drags you slowly across his hard cock. A strangled sound escapes your lips, and you bury your face against his neck. You need more and soon. 
“Aaron, please, I need more,” you whimper. 
“Shhh, honey, I’ve got you. Just enjoy this,” he reassures you. Aaron makes quick work of the rest of your clothes. He doesn’t waste any time today. You both know you’re already wet enough for this. Aaron lines his cock up with your entrance and slides in. You both groan at the feeling. Your body feels like it’s on fire, and your period makes you more sensitive to everything. 
“Go ahead,” Aaron instructs. He’s using his Unit Chief, which goes straight to your brain. You heed his command and start moving up and down his cock slowly. Aaron watches you bounce on him, his pupils blown out completely. 
“Fuck, baby, you’re taking me so well,” he grunts out. His hand snakes out to find your clit, laying gentle strokes against you. He applies just the right amount of pressure, and your head lolls back. Your walls flutter against his, and you hear Aaron’s breathy groans. His cock twitches inside you, and you can tell he’s close. You speed up, and just like that, the coil in your belly snaps. Your whole body spasms in release, and you hold onto his shoulders for dear life. As you ride your high out, you feel Aaron spill warm liquid inside you. He’s still mumbling sweet nothings in your ears as you both try to catch your breath.
“You feel better, honey? Was that good?” He asks. 
You smile and nod. You’re tired now, but the warm fuzz spreading through your body wipes away traces of the cramps. “Mhm, I’m good. Thank you, Aaron,” you kiss his cheek gently.
“I’m glad, sweetheart. Let me go start a shower, okay?”
You plant one last kiss on his cheek and slide off him. You wonder what you did to deserve him as you slowly drift off to sleep.
Thank you for reading. Likes, reblogs, comments and follows are appreciated! Constructive criticism is welcome :) Do not plagiarise my content and/or post it anywhere without crediting me.
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purinfelix · 1 month ago
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Gavi bf headcannons 👉👈
pablo gavi bf headcanons ˚⟡˖ ࣪
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a/n: aaaa haven't written for my baby in agesss thank u for this req anon !! (ik it's preeeetty old so i hope u don't mind sjdnfdksjnf)
★ was actually quite shy before the two of you started dating, and even at the beginning of your relationship - just because he seemed intimidated by the idea of you and didn't want to put a foot wrong when talking with you
★ but as soon as he got comfortable with you he's talking your ear off about everything
★ like i just know he has the craziest gossip from the lockerroom and has opinions on absolutely EVERYTHING
★ just so so so clingy like you're literally amazed at how he used to function before the two of you started dating bc now he can't go more than like a day without seeing you
★ it isn't like a possessive clinginess (in reality it's actually a lot simpler) - he just knows he feels happy around you, and he loves you, so why wouldn't he want to spend every waking minute with you?
★ like, if there is a situation in which you have to spend time apart he's not going to stop you, but just know he's not going to enjoy it at all and the minute you reunite he'll have to make up for lost time
★ that and maybe a thousand texts about how much he misses you or tiktoks because everything he sees reminds him of you
★ love language is 100% physical touch like is there even a question ...
★ and it's more than just hugs and kisses it's interlocked pinkies, goodnight kisses on the back of your nape - if the two of you are lying on the couch or bed doing your own thing he'll throw a leg over yours just to feel your touch
★ thinking about that time kuonde said he's really fun to tease bc he's so easy to rile up ... yeah
★ like of course it's all loving but you just love the look on your boyfriend's face when you tease him - his pout and pleading eyes ...
★ definitely not a morning person at all, you've spent way too many mornings struggling to wriggle out of his grip in fear of being late for work/class
"Baby, I need to go," you say sternly, though given the fact that you're boyfriend's eyes are still closed you don't feel confident you're going to get your way. "Mmf," is all you get in response, as well as him strengthening his grip on you and burying his face into the side of your stomach.
★ (just remembered that clip of him snoring LOL) - which you actually didn't notice for like a year into your relationship because he always made sure you fell asleep first, it just makes it easier for him to rest knowing you're comfortable
★ but one night when u woke up to get some water you were absolutely shocked by how loud he could be (you opted to sleep on the couch that night because you wouldn't have been able to rest otherwise - but he came and found u in less than an hour because the empty space next to him woke him up)
★ as much as he hates to admit it, he lovesss being babied like he'll try to hold out as long as he can and put on a big manly front but the minute you're cooing and calling him pet names he's melting immediately
★ doesn't fully understand things like makeup/hair/clothes but what he does know is when his girlfriend looks extra beautiful
"I like that thing you did with your hair today, it's really pretty," he hums as the two of you are getting ready to leave on a date. "Oh? My blowout?" "Yeah, sure, it looks good on you - same as when you get those little white lines on your nails done." "French tips?" "Yeah, you tell your nail lady that and I'll pay for it."
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wonhes · 7 months ago
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☁︎ — 6:51 PM MAY 08, 2024
“like seriously?” seunghan had randomly asked, turning to SOHEE with wide eyes, completely disregarding what anton was talking about. “since middle school?” he added, causing sohee to let out a groan in annoyance.
“we weren't even talking about that,” sohee mumbles out, shaking his head as he moves forward to grab a chip from the kitchen island.
“just can't wrap my head around it, that is all.” seunghan said, shrugging his shoulders as he took another sip of his drink.
“he’s liked my sister since he first saw her,” anton mentioned, deciding to join in and poke fun as well. “so, what? a good 8 years?” he added, causing seunghan to let out a dramatic gasp.
groaning once again, sohee brings his hands up to his face to cover the deep shade of red his face was turning. he would be fine with his friends teasing him anywhere else to a certain extent but at anton’s house? that a big no. especially when you could walk in at any given moment. “can we please talk about something else?”
“what? lover boy’s embarrassed?” shotaro jokingly asked, laughing as he noticed how red the younger boy’s face was getting.
shaking his head at his friends, sohee opens his mouth to speak but just in cue the sound of the front door opening interrupts him. immediately shifting his focus to the person entering the house, sohee subconsciously stands up straighter with a small smile soon forming on his lips when he realizes it's you.
from the side, shotaro watches as his younger friend’s mood completely changes in a blink of an eye. snickering, he grabs a dorito and throws it at sohee, hitting the side of his face. “whipped,” shotaro whispers out.
“and?” sohee quickly responded back, barely even acknowledging shotaro; wanting to give you his full attention.
“oh, anton!” you yelled from the doorway. taking off your shoes, you make way towards the kitchen. “dad said-” you start but stop midway when you make eye contact with a certain black haired boy.
“dad said what?” anton asked, confused on why you stopped talking mid sentence. not being able to speak, you simply point at the boy causing the boy to look at you confused as he pointed at himself.
“oh! that’s seunghan!” anton yelled out, understanding now why you were taken back. “sohee introduced him to us last semester and we’ve been friends ever since,” anton mentions to you as seunghan awkwardly waves at you.
“friends?” you manage to squeak out, still not able to properly speak. you
“yeah, although he clearly favors sohee over us,” shotaro jokingly adds, nodding his head towards the two to prove a point. turning your attention back to seunghan you spot him trying to hug sohee while sohee struggles to push him off.
still in shock with this newfound information, you decide to excuse yourself. making eye contact with sohee, you send him a small wave.
“bye sohee,” you say, smiling at him only causing his brain to completely stop functioning. not knowing how to act, he doesn’t respond to your wave and just stands there dumbfounded, staring at you as you walk away.
while you’re walking to your room, you decide to glance back just to make sure that was in fact the boy you had bumped into at the library. peeking over your shoulder, you feel caught when you make eye contact with the said boy. seunghan stares back at you before he sends you a soft smile. he then turns his attention back to the boys as you enter your room.
“guys, i think she wants me.” SOHEE finally breathes out when he hears your bedroom door shut.
annoyed at his words, anton moves to smack sohee on the back of his head. “you and your comments man,” anton sighs, earning a laugh from the rest.
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☁︎ — CLOUD 9
CHAPTER 14 — sohee’s best friend
summary !! after years of constant pining after his best friend’s sister, yn finally takes notice of sohee and sohee swears he’s on cloud 9. or in other words, loser sohee finally gets the girl.
<- BACK | NEXT ->
CLOUD 9 MASTERLIST
˚౨ৎ˚ taglist — @082206y @acidwon @astro-doll-the-star @addorations @aeoliannie @bbina @cake1box @callanton @calumsfringe @d3junlys @emohoon @ffixtionista @gyehyeonist @haeeeeefer @hakkkuu @hisrkive @https-yeonjun @i0134 @idkhoomanmaybe @jeeluv @jiaisfox @jinanangel @kaelysian @keilovr @lakoya @lcvehee @lecheugo @llearlert @lostinneocity @miyawwn @molensworld @nishimuraii @nujeskz @odxrilove @parkwonbinie @renjuneoo @riizewrld @rksbae @rosesfortaro @saranghoeforanton @secretiny @seunghancore @shoberi @snowyseungs @sseastar-main @st4rryhae @sunflowerbebe07 @spookybias @totheseok @whatsk-poppinhomies @whoisgwyn @wonbin-truther @ywnzn
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lexabitxh · 10 months ago
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D.W | Feelings
summary: dean winchester confesses his feelings towards y/n.
perspective: third person
word count: 1811
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Dean had fallen madly in love with Y/n ever since he laid eyes on her. She was beautiful, not like the girls in the magazines. She was beautiful for the way she thought, for the way she spoke, and her ability to help those around her.
No, she wasn’t just beautiful as something temporary as her looks, but beautiful deep down in her soul.
She was his reason for why he kept pushing in life. She made his darkest days cheerful and full of light. She had changed his life completely.
The way she looked at him with that smile made him feel butterflies in his stomach. It was an odd sensation, but comforting in ways that couldn’t allow him to sleep at night.
However, he wasn’t one to express his feelings. It wasn’t easy to admit he loved her, but he knew those feelings he felt were true. He wanted to tell her, but the fear of rejection held him back.
So, Dean keep things mutual between the both for as long as he could, but each day it became harder to not wonder what it would be like to date her. Especially when there would times where he’d flirt with her and she’d flirt back. Did she mean it or was she just playing along?
Sometimes he’d envy Sam for how close the two were. She’d always go to Sam rather than him for help or for anything in general. He tried not to hate Sam for it, but he just wished to be in his place. To be the one he she’d run to for comfort.
He wishes he could be the one that kept her awake at nights and in despair, to be her cry, to be the one who she woke up excited for. But that fear always held him back from confessing his feelings.
It wasn’t until he finally had enough.
~
Sam and Y/n had been on the couch watching movies for hours with half a bucket of popcorn between them, and the other half all over them. “Sam! Stop throwing the popcorn!” She laughed, trying to sound upset but couldn’t.
“C’mon, this is more fun than actually eating it” he said, throwing a handful at her. Before she could say anything, Dean had came back from his trip. She looked towards his direction, sending him a smile only to not receive one back.
“Hey, Dean. Is everything okay?” She questioned, looking up at him as Sam had turned the volume down. “Yeah… just been thinking a lot while I was out” he said as he looked between the two.
Sam immediately got the hint and got up. “I’ll go make us some more popcorn.”
Y/n watched as Sam grabbed the container and awkwardly walked away, leaving the two alone. Once he was gone, she patted the empty spot, inviting him to take a seat besides her.
“What’s in your mind?” She asked.
Dean walked from behind the couch and around, sitting next to her. Being so close to her made him nervous- he couldn’t function. He kept quiet for a bit, trying to find the words he had been rehearsing over and over and over again, but it’s as if the words he’s been memorizing had slipped away.
“I just wanted to, um, talk to you about something” he swallowed nervously. He was starting to become flustered. The palm of his hands becoming sweaty and his heart pounding out off his chest. Being around her made him act like a fool.
Suddenly, Y/n felt a nervous. She had no idea if she has done something to upset him. Having a one-on-one conversation always made her uneasy and uncomfortable. She felt like she was in trouble.
“What is it?” She asked concerned. Dean took in a deep breath, trying so hard to just put his feelings out there. Y/n took notice of his struggle and took ahold of his hand. “Dean, you can tell me anything. What’s going on?”
Dean glance down at her hand resting above his. Her hand much smaller as it felt soft and warm. He felt a tingly sensation form inside his chest as she made it much more difficult to act upon.
“It’s about you.”
“What about me?”
Y/n had a million different thoughts running through her mind. He probably noticed the scratch I left on baby… or the tiny stain in the backseat. She became anxious.
“Is it about, baby? Cause I swear it wasn’t me! It’s Sam’s fault!” she blurted out, throwing Sam under the bus rather than taking the blame.
“What? No!” He said, only to wonder what trouble they might have caused. “What about baby?” He questioned, but she simply shook her head. “Nothing. Forget about it. What were you going to tell me?” She asked, hoping that he’d forget all about the impala and move on.
Dean shook the thought away before refocusing on the main reason why he wanted to speak to her. “Right” he mumbled.
“Do you remember how we met?” He said smiling softly. Y/n smiled at the memory. “You were running from the police and I helped hid you from them” she laughed a little.
“We sorta became partners in crime ever since” she smiled. That smile. It was that smile that made Dean weak to his knees. “Like Bonnie & Clyde. Except we hunt monsters” he said with a light chuckle.
“Exactly” she laughed, “You were an absolute mess that day, and yet somehow, you convinced me to help you” she said. “And two years later, here I am with you idiots” she teased.
“I happens to be adorable. I’ll try not to take offense to it” he laughed softly before he getting all serious again. “Meeting you has been one of the best things that has happened to us” he said.
Y/n smiled as she felt the same away about them. They’ve gave her a purpose in life and adventures she never imagined before. “Awe, someone’s getting soft” she teased.
Dean shook his head, “just let me finish” he said. He took ahold of her hand this time and looked deeply into her eyes. “You changed my life, Y/n. You changed me. And for the past two years, I’ve been in love with you” he said, finally being able to put his feelings out into the air.
He felt relieved being able to admit his feelings. A weight lifted off his shoulders as he didn’t have to hide them anymore.
Y/n froze to the sudden news. She never would have imagined Dean Winchester to be in love with a girl like her. She loved Dean. She always has. But Dean slept with multiple girls and so she never envision herself having a real relationship with him.
“Y/n… say something.” Dean grew anxious with every second gone by. “I- for two years?” Y/n was still taken aback by the fact he loved her for two freaking years.
“It was the first time I saw you that I discovered what love at first sight was” he confessed. “You made me feel things I never felt before, things I never imagined feeling” he added.
“And seeing you with Sam made me jealous cause I want to be the one to hold you, to make you smile, to make you laugh…” he continued. “But I understand if you like Sam. I just wanted to let you know how I felt because I can’t carry this feeling inside me any longer.”
Y/n stared up at him in complete awe. The way he had let his guard down to confess his love for her. How his cheeks grew red with embarrassment. The way he became all shy and timid. She has never seen Dean act so… so in love.
“S-Sam? You think I have a thing for, Sam?!” She laughed. “D-do you not?” She shook her head, “no dumbass, I don’t like Sam in that particular way” she paused, “I like you.” She placed her hand on his cheek.
As she caressed it, he simply melted into her touch. “I’ve always liked you, Dean. The moment you stumbled into my life with trouble, I knew that the universe had written you for me.” Her words caused his heart to race, a smile forming on his lips.
“You’re the one who keeps me up at night. The one who makes me smile and giggle like crazy. You drive me crazy, Dean Winchester” she told him.
“I just- I never wanted to tell you because I knew you weren’t one to settle down with anyone. So, I kept my feelings hidden. Though it didn’t took long for Sam to notice and tease me about it.” She sighed.
“Sam knew?!” Dean said baffled at the thought why his brother never told him. Could have saved him all the trouble. Y/n nodded, “I sorta made him promise not to tell a living soul” she said giggled.
“So does this means what I think it means?” He asked. “Well, are you going to take me out on an official date?” She questioned as she gently pushed some of his hair back.
Dean smiled like an idiot. “You could ask me to swim across the ocean and I’ll do it just for you” he said while gently cupping her face.
“If a date makes you happy, then a date it is” he slowly leaned closer to her face. “I’d give you the world and more” he said as his lips hover above hers.
“Dean Winchester being so sweet? Who would’ve thought I’d be the reason” Y/n teased as she placed her lips on his, smiling in-between the shared kiss. Dean smiled back, kissing her softly and slowly. He had dreams of this moment and finally it was happening. It was magical and anything he never imagined before.
As they pulled away, they both stared at each other like complete idiot. “Finally!” said Sam as he entered the room. “About damn time. I was getting tired hearing you both yap about each other” he said as he took a seat on the singular couch.
“Now if you excuse me, I got a movie to finish” he said while throwing some popcorn towards them before taking a handful into his mouth. “Bitch” said Dean as he placed his arm around Y/n’s shoulders.
“Jerk.” Sam replied with a mouthful while turning the volume up and resuming to watch the movie.
Dean simple smiled to himself as he had everything he’s ever wanted in life. He had his brother by his side and the girl of his dreams wrapped around him. He couldn’t be happier than in that moment.
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eminems-skittles · 1 year ago
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Jess Mariano with the prompts 1. “Are you cold?” “No.” And 12. “My jacket looks good on you.” (But they’re not dating yet and there’s tension between them🥹)
25 days of christmas event
pairings: jess mariano x reader
warnings: none just fluff
a/n: hope you like it anon!!! i love writing jess <3
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why you were voluntarily out in the cold, harsh wind, you weren’t sure. it was the morning of the snowman building contest and there was nothing you wanted more than to be snuggled in bed with all the blankets you could find. the cold air hitting your face was probably the harshest of wake up calls and the cold bench you were sitting on did little to prevent the shivers that were jolting through you. the only thing offering any relief from the icy air was the near empty cup of coffee from luke’s diner.
making the trek to luke’s seemed to take longer than you would have and you debated running across the street to get there that much quicker.
you sighed gratefully as the warmth of the diner overtook you, heating your cold nose and cheeks while you removed your gloves.
“hey y/n,” jess said as he walked by you with a smile that seemed to only be reserved for you. “i’ll be right there.”
you nodded, your face heating up for an entirely different reason. of course he had to be there when you were nowhere near functioning as a normal person would. you walked over to the counter and sat down, relieved to be sitting on something that didn’t feel like sitting on an ice cube.
“more coffee?” luke asked, moving to grab the pot from where it was sitting. you opened your to-go cup and placed it on the counter in front of you.
“yes please,” you sighed. luke filled the paper cup up with coffee before moving on to the next customer. jess appeared behind the counter a moment later.
“luke already get you coffee?” he asked. you nodded as you took a sip, the warm liquid already warming you up. “i was just about to head out there, you coming?”
“sure,” you agreed, immediately mentally cursing yourself. you were freezing you didn’t want to go back outside so why on earth did you agree? it was simple. jess asked you to, so you said yes.
jess called to luke saying he’d be right back and the two of you made your way back into the harsh cold. he led the way to the same bench you previously occupied. a silence that was equal parts awkward yet comfortable over took the two of you and the shivers that wracked your body returned.
“are you cold?” jess asked after a minute of silently observing you. that seemed to be what he did best. he was always observing, picking up on the things you believed to be nearly imperceptible.
“no,” you replied stubbornly. he could see you were cold, you might as well have ‘i’m freezing’ written across your forehead in sharpie. “it’s just a little chilly.”
“y/n, you’re shaking like a chihuahua,” he stated simply. before you knew it, he was shrugging off his jacket and placing it in your hands. “put it on.”
“aren’t you going to be cold?” you asked him.
“i’m going back in soon, i’ll be fine,” he said. you sighed and stood up, removing the jacket you were currently wearing and replacing it with his much larger, must warmer jacket. he smiled at the sight and if he noticed you subtly inhaling the traces of his cologne on the jacket, he didn’t say anything.
you smiled shyly at him muttering a quiet thank you. his hand came up to your face, pushing a piece of hair that had fallen in front of your face behind your ear. his eyes trailed down to his jacket again.
his hand was resting on your cheek now and his thumb brushed across it, trying to send some warmth to your face in order to stop you from freezing. he leaned in but was interrupted by something cold hitting him.
“get back to work!” luke yelled, brushing snow off his hands. as he was walking back to the diner, he shouted “i’m not paying you to flirt!”
“did he really just throw a snowball at me?” jess asked incredulously, trying to get the snow off of his t-shirt.
you laughed and he smiled back at you. “so you have to get back?”
“apparently,” jess grumbled, annoyed that his uncle cut his time with you short. he started walking back to the diner but before he could get too far, he turned back to face you. “my jacket looks good on you. keep it.”
and like that, he had disappeared back into the diner and your crush on him grew impossibly larger. suddenly, the cold wasn’t all that unbearable, the warmth from his jacket (and his words) spreading through you like wildfire.
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copperbadge · 1 year ago
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youtube
Feeling a little overly perceived by Dr. Dodson right now, not gonna lie.
I'll throw a transcript under the cut, but both reading the transcript and listening to the video can be difficult as it's quite long, so here's some highlights. As always, these are the opinions of a specialist but only one specialist, so take with a grain of salt, and if you have research to add to this, please feel free to comment or reblog with it. I believe this presentation is from sometime in 2022.
ADHD appears to derive from issues in the corpus striatum in the brain. In most people, the corpus striatum filters out all but the most important input AND output; with ADHD, the things normally handled "outside of awareness" must be handled consciously.
People with ADHD don't see their emotions coming. Emotion is immediate, intense, and unfiltered, making therapies like CBT or ACT difficult, because you can learn the technique but you won't have time to employ it. Because people with ADHD have impulse control issues, expressing emotions "inappropriately" is common, leading people with ADHD to believe they can't trust themselves.
One function of ADHD-typical dysregulation is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, which nobody understands even a little. People who have it can't even adequately describe it to people who want to study it. It is intense, painful, and apparently impossible to control. Prevention is based in maladaptive behaviors designed to avoid it entirely (perfectionism, people pleasing, generalized withdrawal). The only currently known treatment is alpha agonist medication.
Lastly, by the age of twelve, a child with ADHD has likely received twenty thousand more "negative or corrective" messages than their neurotypical peers. (This isn't relevant to the rest, I just found it sufficiently horrifying to warrant inclusion. Fortunately for me, if I got 20,000 negative or corrective messages, I wasn't paying attention for most of them.)
Anyway, here's the transcript of the first half. I did this by copying and cleaning up the auto-transcript on YouTube, but I stopped at Question Time, so this is only the first half (the presentation). Transcription of the second half is available at YouTube.
There is suddenly a very large interest in the whole subject of emotional dysregulation and ADHD. That has been driven oddly enough by the Food and Drug Administration, which has just opened up several pathways that drug companies can study emotional dysregulation and whether or not their medications can get an FDA indication for emotional dysregulation. So it's sort of follow the money. Up until then, there was not a great deal of interest for ADHD emotional dysregulation.
We have to understand that the ADHD diagnostic criteria were not made for people like you and me, either practitioners or people who have ADHD or their families. They were designed for and made by people who do research and pretty much that's it. People who do research have to have criteria that they can physically see and count. "Little Johnny was up and out of his chair three times in the last hour," and you can write a three on your clipboard. Things which are invisible, not always there, hard to count, or even hidden by the patient, don't lend themselves to research very easily and so tend to be ignored. And so consequently this is one of the main reasons why emotional dysregulation -- until there was some other motive provided -- was pretty much ignored and disregarded.
Consequently ADHD right now, if you look at the 18 diagnostic criteria, are almost entirely behavioral criteria. What is the person doing? Not how is the person thinking, what is the patient feeling, how are they controlling their emotions, how are they sleeping. Things that are all very, very important to the person who has ADHD but which is essentially ignored by the diagnostic criteria.
Why should you care? Who really cares about this? Well, the definition of what ADHD is and isn't defines who and what will be studied. It defines who will actually get into a study and what questions will be asked. It defines who will be diagnosed with ADHD and who will not. One of the most common problems I get is with a secondary referral to me -- somebody clearly has ADHD but they're not pinging off the walls, they can sit and do their work, especially when they get into a hyperfocus, and so they're told they couldn't possibly have ADHD. When really they just have the inattentive subtype and they're not being driven by their behavior, their overt behavior. Therefore it defines who will get treatment, who will get insurance coverage for that treatment, and who will get accommodations in school when they're young and at the workplace when they're older.
Consequently we should also care because the other major components of ADHD get ignored. These are the ones that if you really stand back and look at it cause the greatest amount of impairment, the greatest amount of embarrassment, the greatest amount of just…problems in general. We're talking about cognition and thinking, that people with ADHD fundamentally think in a different way than do neurotypical people. They are able to engage with the tasks of their lives in a totally different way. Their ability to control their emotions and their behavior, control their emotional responses, tremendously affects their self-esteem and their self-definition. Who am I? What am I worth? What am I valued? Why am I valued in a certain way? What do other people think of me?
It affects tremendously the nature and healthiness of relationships. How you respond emotionally to the people in your realm makes a great deal of difference about the healthiness and gratification you get from your relationships. Being highly dysregulated in terms of your energy and emotions also affects deeply how well you sleep, how easy it is to fall asleep and awake refreshed, and of course it affects emotional dysregulation.
And this is probably, when you look at it in the long term and especially with adults, probably the most impairing part of the ADHD syndrome. The vast majority of people with ADHD have found ways around their academic and work performance, but they haven't found their way around their emotional reactions to the people and events of their lives.
At all points in the life cycle -- child, adolescent, adult, and elderly -- people who have ADHD nervous systems lead intense, passionate lives. Their highs are higher, their lows are lower, all of their emotions are much more intense. And that really is what we're talking about: not really the quality of the emotions -- people who have ADHD have the same types of emotions for the same reasons that everybody else does. What we're talking here, in terms of dysregulation, is two things: one, the expression of emotions, being able to choose whether or not you let an emotion out. And then, when you do decide to express it, how intensely that emotion is experienced and expressed by you as a unique individual.
Consequently just about everybody with ADHD, but especially little children, are always at some sort of risk of being overwhelmed by their own emotions from within themselves. This is something that needs to be really emphasized: a lot of people with ADHD grow up not being able to trust themselves.
So why is this happening, especially to people with ADHD? I think that just about everybody now would agree that ADHD is primarily a problem of insufficient inhibition, being able to slow down and keep things from happening. If you look at the mass of the human brain, 85% of all the nerves in your brain and out in your nervous system are inhibitory in function. We happen to be aware of the other 15% because we can see what happens when those nerves are used: they create movement, they create emotions, they create our experience and memory. We have to remember they are a minority of the actual mass of the human brain.
Most of what happens inside the brain occurs outside of awareness. What happens is the brain starts something, it gets it moving, and then uses inhibition to guide that toward the destination it wants. It's like shooting off a rocket -- shooting it off is the easy part, guiding it to where you want it to go is the hard part.
When you look at where stimulant class medications work, they work solely in the deep areas of the brain down in the basal ganglia, and especially in an area called the corpus striatum, which is just Latin for a "striped body". That's how it looks when you look at it -- it's got many very fine stripes in it. This area, the corpus striatum, is almost entirely inhibitory in function. What it does is that it inhibits neurological input and output to just the one piece of information or one action that happens to be most important at that time. Everything else gets handled, but it gets handled out of awareness.
Probably the easiest place to see this in action is when we're driving a car. Driving a car is the most difficult thing that the average human being ever has to learn how to do. It's a very difficult process, if anybody has ever had an adolescent learning to drive. But once we learn how to drive a car we do it largely outside of our own conscious awareness. We can drive along, talk to the person on the seat next to us, think about what we're going to have for dinner, sing along to the radio, and not really pay attention, conscious attention, to what's going on around us. But if suddenly something is out in front of the car, even before our conscious brain can process what that thing is, our corpus striatum has already handled it. Slam on the brakes, swerve to miss it, start to question that person's parentage, in the twinkling of an eye. The corpus striatum has been scanning everything, handling everything.
So basically what ADHD is, is that relative lack of inhibition that should be there. Inattention, which is a cardinal feature of ADHD, is the relative lack of the inhibition of other inputs or distractions. When we look at physiologically what's happening, we don't actually pay attention to one thing. Neurologically, we suppress every other thing we might engage with except the one thing that we want. It is maximally inefficient in that way.
Impulsivity is a relative lack of inhibition, of the expression of actions and emotions before you can think about them and make decisions about that expression. Hyperactivity is the relative lack of inhibition of physical and mental activity. When the physical activity of the hyperactive little boy who's pinging off a wall goes away in adolescence, they're still very much mentally active in their own brains.
So what? The “so what” for most of us is that when this area of the brain is not working as it should, people cannot regulate the experience and expression of their emotions. Emotions are experienced as completely unmodified and unscreened. The word that most people use is that they are raw. They come out without any modification at all, they go in without any modification at all. People can see this in hyperacusis, where somebody chewing or the conversation across the restaurant comes in loud and clear because it can't be screened out.
All this is tremendously overwhelming. We get overwhelmed by entirely too much input, and the impulse to have entirely too much output. It's exhausting, and when it does get inappropriately expressed it's embarrassing, so consequently people with ADHD must always be vigilant of themselves.
Now, when we look at the traditional therapies that have been used, or tried to be used, with ADHD, they have had very very poor track records. They're largely ineffective in helping people control the expression of what they think and feel. The reason for this is that people with ADHD don't see their own emotions, their own actions, coming. They find out about their emotions and actions the same way everybody else does: it's already out there before they even know that it's coming. Consequently they don't have the time and the warning to use the techniques and new skills that they may have learned in behavior modification therapy, or in cognitive therapy. They learned them, learned them perfectly well, but the cat’s out of the bag before they can make use of them.
Right now, as we sit here today, medications are the only thing we have to offer that have a proven track record, because they're there all the time. We have two basic groups: we have the stimulant class medications which are amphetamine, methylphenidate, et cetera, which help directly with inhibition. They help slow things down, they help inhibit both input that would distract us and output. It gives you the same two seconds that everybody else has, to see an emotion or an action coming up, to play it out in your mind. “If this happens then this will happen, then that'll happen. Oh, I don't want that to happen, I'll redirect it.”
The alpha agonist, of which we have two -- guanfacine and clonidine -- inhibit the energy driving the speed and intensity of response. Interesting enough, when we look at just clean effectiveness, when we measure how effective is this treatment, the alpha agonists are significantly more effective than are the stimulants. Usually that's kind of a false choice, because most people end up taking both classes of medication.
A very special type, I think, of emotional dysregulation is -- again a terrible technical term -- what's called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. We actually don't know what it is. It's much too early to tell. But it does seem to be a thing with which many people with ADHD identify. There was a brief article from ADDitude that got posted on Reddit, on their subreddit on ADHD; that particular posting got twice as many responses, in less than a month, than any other posting that had ever been put on that subreddit. It really touched a lot of people in a strong way.
In my own checklist, when I'm asking about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, the question I have is: “For your entire life, in other words going all the way back into childhood, have you always been much more sensitive than other people you know to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you’ve failed or fallen short?” This is directly from a psychiatric textbook, an old one, and it's the definition of a technical term, for psychiatrists called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
It's important to note, this is all a matter of degree. No one likes being rejected or criticized. Everybody hates it when we fail, we fall short, especially in front of other people. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is much more intense, and is much more than this universal discomfort.
When they were originally doing the research on this particular idea, 45 years ago, they wanted to get that intensity right up there in the name, and so they chose the word dysphoria -- which unfortunately happens to be Greek -- but it means “unbearable”. Because that was the description they were getting from people over and over and over again. Again, for reasons unknown, people with rejection sensitivity have trouble describing what the intense emotion is all about. They can describe its intensity -- “it's awful, it's terrible, it's catastrophic,” -- but not the quality of the mood. And so, over and over again, these research subjects would finally just tell the researcher, “Look, man, back off. I can't find words to tell you what this awful feeling feels like, but I want you to know I can hardly stand it.” And so that's where the word dysphoria came from. A researcher at Harvard who decided to put it into Greek, but that unbearable quality is very much a part of what's going on, a part of the experience of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.
It's extremely common in people with ADHD; my guess is that about 95% of my patients report it as a significant impairment, and about a third of my patients say that it is by far the most impairing part of their ADHD. For the majority of people, and most occurrences, it is not that particularly disruptive, but when it hits, it turns your life upside down.
So how is rejection sensitivity experienced? There's no warning. It hits out of the blue; there's no way to protect yourself from it. It happens all at once, it goes from zero to a hundred percent instantaneously. It is commonly experienced as being physically painful, as if someone just punched you in the chest or punched you in the stomach -- there's an aching in the core of your being.
Once it gets started it seems to be largely uncontrollable until it's run its course, whatever it is. The quality of the mood is indescribable. Most people struggle to find any words at all to describe this feeling, even though it's massively intense. The duration can be a few minutes to several months. It's a very potent experience and can make it very difficult to risk ever being rejected or criticized again.
If this very intense emotional reaction is internalized, it looks for all the world like an instantaneous major depression, complete with suicidal thinking. And so a lot of times people do get a diagnosis of major depression, because the clinician they're working with fails to pick up the triggered, instantaneous nature of the onset of that depressive-looking syndrome. If it's externalized, it presents as a rage that is directed at the person or situation that wounded them so terribly. In fact, being “wounded” is is a very common description. This sort of sudden trigger change, with an intense emotional response, not uncommonly leads to a misdiagnosis of borderline character organization.
So if you can't see it coming, and you can't do anything once it's happened, how do people try and protect themselves from episodes of rejection sensitivity happening in the first place? Some people use perfectionism; they try to be above reproach. They feel driven to be the very best at everything they do. These are the penultimate overachievers. It works, but it's also an absolutely terrible, driven way in which to live.
By far the most common response is that people become people pleasers. They are constantly scanning everybody around them and trying to figure out what that person wants or would approve of, and that's what they give them, so much so that it is the to the exclusion of what they want for their own lives. These are people who take care of others, please others, to the exclusion of any sort of gratification in their own lives.
Another very common way that people try to deal with this is that they give up trying anything new, giving up anything in which they might fail or be embarrassed. I have hundreds of patients who have never been able to apply for a job or ask someone of the opposite sex out for a date. Just the imagination of being told no is so frightening, so devastating, that they just say, “No, I'm not going there. I'll sit this one out.”
One of the most effective ways of dealing with this are the alpha agonist medications, and when they work they can be almost completely effective. Alpha agonist again is a tongue twisting name, but it's not as tongue-twisting as the full name, which is alpha-2 selective adrenergic agonists. So you can see why we shorten it a bit. They were originally blood pressure medications that came on the market in the early 1980s. They worked very poorly -- when they did work, at most they lowered blood pressure about 10%, which was measurable but it still required other things that needed to be done in order to get most people's blood pressure down into a therapeutic range.
We have two of them, guanfacine which was marketed both as immediate release and extended release under the name of Intuniv, and clonidine, which was marketed under the trade name of Kapvay, both as an immediate release product and as a delayed release product. They have been used as a treatment of the hyperactive component of ADHD for more than 30 years, so these are not new medications for the field of ADHD. They're very much the treatment of choice for the “hyperactive, disruptive, and obnoxious little boy” that is what most people have in their minds when they consider the notion of “What does a person with ADHD look like?”
The exact mechanism of action of these medications both in ADHD and especially in rejection sensitivity is highly unclear. We really don't know -- we have a couple of ideas but they are very definitely theoretical. The only thing that we know for sure is that the stimulants don't work by stimulating anything, and that the alpha agonists don't work by being alpha agonists. How they do work is completely unknown.
We have two medications, they seem to work equally well, so there's nothing that would lead you to choose one over the other. The problem is that the robust response that we're looking for that really changes people's lives, is disappointingly low -- at about 30% to either molecule. Luckily that 30% is a different 30% of people, so that 30% of people get a good response to guanfacine but it's largely a different 30% that get a response to clonidine. So if the first medication tried does not work, it makes good clinical sense that that one should be stopped and the other one tried. There was an unfortunately worded sentence in an article I wrote for ADDitude several years ago that gave the impression that you could use the two medications together; they should not be used together. You try one, if that doesn't work you try the other.
The typical dose of either one is in the range of three milligrams of guanfacine per day or about three tenths of a milligram of clonidine per day. If you take all the people who get a good robust response to either one of these medications, about 80% are going to end up at these doses, so it's by far the most common dose.
There are of course side effects. Anything that's going to adjust the adrenaline system of the body is going to have the potential for sedation as a side effect, and this does occur for about 25% of people. It's usually mild and it does go away -- over a period of several months. So a person has to be fairly patient with that. It can cause dry mouth, and it's by a different mechanism then the stimulants can cause dry mouth, so the two of them together can really make your mouth cottony dry. And the third one is an accentuation of a universal experience we've all had, when we stand up quickly and suddenly and we get dizzy, get kind of a head rush, vision goes a bit gray. The technical term for it is orthostasis. And this can happen more frequently when you take the alpha agonist medications.
The benefits of the alpha agonist medications take a while to develop. When you change the dose it takes five days for the benefits to develop, so once again they're not like the stimulants where what you see is what you get at one hour. It takes a while for these medications to work and to see all that they can do.
Now just as a side note, Strattera has been looked at in two studies for emotional dysregulation and the results have been what they call mixed. If they did work it was only to a very minimal degree, almost undetectable, so Strattera does not seem to be a medication one could use and expect to have it help with emotional dysregulation.
So in summary, emotional dysregulation is a basic feature of ADHD, is almost universal in ADHD, and it should be considered as a core symptom of ADHD that ought to be evaluated in every initial evaluation. Rejection sensitivity…it's unclear yet -- this is an old concept that has only been brought up in the last couple of years. Its exact nature is still unclear. It does seem to be a specific form of emotional dysregulation, especially in regard that it does respond very well to medication. But again, how it fits into emotional dysregulation is completely unclear at this point. It does seem to be something that's really important, though. It is a thing that resonates with a large number of people with ADHD.
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