#it's just one of the things i'm very passionate about and can imagine myself doing forever and ever almost no matter the circumstances

[born-to-lose]

I desperately wanna work with music but I don't play instruments well enough to work in customer service at this wholesaler near me

[feyascorner]

Imagine Tav who has a thing for deep voices (ahem Astarion’s when he gets all low and breathy and AHHHHH) and he notices. I’d combust

AGLAGKJL I HAVE OTHER REQUESTS BUT I SAW THIS AND I HAD TO WRITE IT IMMEIDATELY HES JUST SOOO....also warning this is a bit suggestive nothing terrible but i also haven't written anything other than fluff and angst in ages so i might be a little rusty....

You have barely any breath left in your lungs, and you think you wouldn't mind dying this way. He shoves the door to your shared room open with his back as you push him through it, lips molding against his in a heated wave of passion. Your fingers entangle themselves in his white curls, pulling at them just gently enough to draw out a low groan from his throat, and in an instant, he has your back pressed against the wall, both hands holding either side of your face as if it's the last time he'll get to touch you.

And as much as you wouldn't mind dying from suffocation here, being ever so perceptive, he pulls away to lean his forehead against your own, watching as your chest heaves up and down in a helpless attempt to catch your breath. He pinches one of your cheeks. "It's a relief that one of us needs air to remain conscious. If you were to become like myself, I'm not confident we'd actually ever stop."

"I never said we needed to stop," you say breathlessly.

"You don't need to tell me," he leans forward to press his lips against the area where he usually sinks his teeth into your neck. Instead of the familiar prick, all you feel are his cool lips peppering kisses on your skin. "Your body, and how it responds to me...it does all the talking for you."

And much to your embarrassment, his words are sent straight to the hammering of your heart. It must be the way he says it---so softly, yet rough. Teasing, yet honest. Low enough to drop his voice an octave but not enough to take away its usual charm. And the worst is the breathiness adorning his very words. For someone who doesn't need to breathe, he certainly sounds like he does it a lot.

You feel him nip at a sensitive spot of your neck and practically yelp, earning a snicker from the culprit in front of you.

"Your heart's beating quite fast, darling," he says slowly, almost in a whisper. "Are just a few words enough to rile you up so much?"

You remain silent, afraid all sanity you have left will snap if you dare to speak.

"But that's not all, is it? No, my sweet, you only feel this way about my words because I'm the one saying it," you can hear the grin in his tone. He pulls away from your neck, lifting his head back where he can meet your eyes. "Do you like when I say things like this? Vulnerable? Sensual? Seductive?--"

You slap your palms across his mouth, heat practically radiating off of your face, as you feel his fangs through his smile. He knows, you think, face paling. He knows how you respond to just his stupid voice, and you know him more than enough to expect the worst from the power you've given him. It's humiliating almost---but more than anything, you want him to shut up. To stop talking to you in that way that brings butterflies to your stomach, to stop looking at you as if you're the most desirable person in all of Faerun, to stop just existing in the moment---

Astarion gently pries your hands away from his face, satisfaction more than apparent in his expression. "No use being bashful now. I'm not offended at all. If anything, I'm rather flattered to know you find even my voice as attractive as the rest of me."

"Please stop talking."

"You don't mean that, clearly."

You grab a nearby pillow and smush it against his cheek, pushing him away.

With a soft laugh, he takes the pillow from your hands, placing it beside him to look at you properly. You want to hide away in a hole forever, but you can't do much other than look to the ground, beyond embarrassed. His obvious amusement doesn't do much to soothe you.

"Look at me, darling."

"Hells no."

"Will you listen if I whisper it to you?"

You shoot him a glare, and he laughs again.

So instead of convincing you any further, he takes either of your hands. His voice is low again, and you swear he's doing it on purpose. "We all have our quirks, my love. I enjoy drinking your delicious blood in our nights of passion, and you enjoy listening to my wonderful voice during them."

"Did you just compare this to being a vampire?"

"This and that. Same thing."

The quirk of your brow is enough to tell him of your annoyance, making him squeeze your hand with a grin. You'd throw him out if he weren't so pretty. Those long lashes, the white curls, that irritatingly beautiful shade of his eyes...Gods, you're helpless. But something tells you that the feeling is mutual. Wordlessly, you find yourself leaning closer again, and his grin stretches wider. "So talking lowly does seem to work its charm on you."

You snort, rolling your eyes. "Shut up and kiss me."

"As you wish."

[inbabylontheywept]

So: You have depression.

I'm 27 now. The last time I had a major depressive episode was when I was 16. I still have depressive episodes every now and then, but the worst tend to be a month, and most I can generally get through them in about a week. It took me a while to kind of figure out how to handle depression as a recurring thing, and so I thought I'd make a little welp-I-got-diagnosed-now-what guide.

So, first part of the guide: When I first got depressed, I thought that depression was the terrible, sad hopeless feeling that I had. It isn't. That terrible sad hopeless feeling is a symptom of prolonged depression. By the time I get to that point, I'm pretty well cooked and it takes a lot longer to bounce back. Avoiding getting to that point is a vital part of living with depression.

So what does depression feel like?

I am going to hammer this point home a lot of times while writing this: Depression is an anesthetic. It is not felt as a presence, but as an absence. The first absence, for me at least, is when life stops being fun. Every movie feels boring, I can't get more than a few pages into any book, and everything just seems... bland.

This is the best point to catch it at. I have found that consumptive patterns of entertainment do not do anything to help depression. Some people have told me that producing art at this time really helps them, but personally, I can't imagine trying. Instead, I just do tasks that I know inspire physical satisfaction. Which sounds like jerking off (I don't actually reccomend that route) but really means things like: Going for a walk in the sunshine. Working out. Cleaning the house in a fairly exhaustive way. Scrub the baseboards, wash the sink, clear the fridge, etc.

I recognize that doing those is really, really hard while depressed because depression causes physical weakness and exhaustion. The best I can do is, unfortunately, encourage vigillance. If you suspect you're getting into a funk, start on this before you get really deep into the mire. People that get into the mire can get out, but it's not self-help read-a-book type shit, it takes therapy and medication and patience and it is so much easier and cheaper and faster to just avoid letting it get that bad then crawling out once it's sunk its teeth into you.

I have found that for things that work almost by exposure alone, spending time in the sun and talking to people are borderline magical, with the caveat that talking to people about being depressed tends to make things worse instead of better. Talking about anything that cuts through the anesthetic of depression is ideal, or if it's sunk in deep enough that you're having trouble finding anything, talking to someone else about what they're passionate about. Ideally, you'd find someone passionate about a thing you know you're passionate about but are struggling to enjoy right then, and then you'd just let your mirror neurons run amok. Bonus Points

So, you're already depressed. Like, pretty fucking depressed, and you fucked up, and you let it slide. What then?

This is my I-Fucked-Up-And-Got-Big-Sad, Salvage-My-Weekend, depression routine. You'll need to make one for yourself at some point, and yours will work better for you, but this is mine and I think it'll work okay-ish for you. Until you get your own, at least.

I have to get up before 10 am. Staying in bed later than that gives the depression such a huge head start on my day that I just basically can't catch up. If I can't just brute force get myself out of bed, I will throw my blankets and sit cold on my sheets until that gives me the motivation I need. If I cannot work up the guts to throw my blankets, I will actually roll off the bed, flop gracelessly onto the floor, and then stare wistfully up until I can will myself to stand. It helps that every bedroom I've had either had freezing cold tile, or itchy coarse carpet. If you have a comfy floor, maybe buy a very scratchy rug? I cannot emphasize how important this step is. It's like, half of the whole thing.

After getting up, immediately go outside and sit in the sunshine. This provides free executive function, and getting it ASAP will make everything go much smoother.

Talk to someone while outside. If you have a roommate, they work great. Face to face conversations tend to be the best, but phone calls with loved ones are like at least 80% as effective. Calls to family members tend to be better than in face conversations with acquaintances or people you're mostly ambivalent about. Don't do chat messages. Worse than nothing.

This should have scrounged up enough free energy that you can clean something. I always start by trying to clear a part of my counter off. If that's all I got, that's all I got, and I still feel good about it. If that inspires me to do more, I'll run with it until a whole room is up to snuff. I don't do more than one room while I'm this crispy: The goal is not really to clean the house, but to work through a series of tasks that require some initial level of executive function but provide a larger amount back once completed. Life has a lot of these deals that are like, give me $10 and I'll give you $12, give me $12 and I'll give you $20, on and on, and the hard part is really just getting the $10. Some people wake up with $10. Most days, you will wake up with $10. But not when you're like this. You're gonna have to earn it. I'm sorry.

I am going to reiterate: This is what I do when I feel a funk coming on. My life and my schedule are not always this regimented. Living with depression doesn't mean never sleeping until 10, or having a weekend where you don't talk to someone, or take a break from cleaning. Living with depression just means never, ever, leaning into the depression when you feel it coming on. Even when it starts out feeling cozy. Even when you want to just snuggle into it and sleep and sleep and sleep. The first day or two will feel luxurious, and the next week will feel terrible, and the longer you wait the harder it will be to get out. You are always going to have to worry about that. Again, I'm really, truly sorry.

Bonus Bonus Points

I am not a psychologist, but I do have a theory about why depression exists. Remember how I said it's anesthetizing? I think that's what it's there for - getting rid of emotional pain when it isn't being helpful. People often get depressed after a major injury. Boredom is normally nature's way of punishing you for just curling up and doing nothing, but depression can be the emergency override on boredom. It makes sense for you to sit still and do nothing while your body is healing, so maybe nature temporarily removes all your motivation with depression and then just lets you be a limp noodle until you're healthy again. Maybe?

Back to the emotional level, though, depression might also be a way to muffle pains that would otherwise be so intense that people might not remain in control of the faculties. The pain of losing a parent is notorious for driving people so mad with pain that they ruin their lives, but depression is there to at least try and keep us sedated until the nadir has passed.

It is helpful to know what the purpose of depression is, because you will eventually get it from an "intended" cause, and reflexively fighting it then probably isn't good for you. And at the very least, knowing why this stupid thing exists makes the world feel like less of a cruel place.

There are a lot of interesting studies on the physical effects of depression - things like muscle weakness, increased pain tolerance, muscle relaxation, etc. that I won't go into, but it does so many things at once that it almost doesn't feel like a fuck up, but a feature that we just kind of lost the plot on. Not gonna deep dive on it, but it is something that probably shouldn't be confined to just a mental disorder.

[a-little-revolution]

Hiya! I'm writing a character with dwarfism (achondroplasia specifically) and I had a quick question. She's a minor background character but I wanted her to still be represented properly and accurately. I'd like for her to be a baker and this is in a medieval fantasy setting.

What are things I should keep in mind as she works in a kitchen? My main concern is the best way for her to get around the kitchen, like going from one counter to the next.

I also want to make sure I don't have her doing any tasks that would hurt her, or show her doing things that would be impossible to do (like bending a certain way).

Would things like kneading dough, mixing ingredients, etc. cause any issues with pain? Obviously it depends on the person but I just wanted to check since most things I see online mention pain in the spine and legs, and reduced joint mobility.

I imagine it would be hard for her to stand for long periods, would a specific type of chair or back brace help? Are there any specific models of chairs you know/like that I can use as a reference for drawing her chair?

Hello!! I'm very passionate about this question as I myself am a baker with dwarfism!! I went to college for it and worked for a while, but most bakeries don't want disabled folks in the kitchen - so my career has changed to customer service while I sort out what I want to do (likely tattooing or something artsy).

Here's some things that would make the kitchen more accessible to your character with dwarfism:

Lower counters, or platforms/stools throughout so she can access her work space

Sinks with long handles (possibly an attachment) for easy reaching. Keep in mind that most LP have a shorter reach as well as height, so long counters and deep sinks can pose an obstacle.

Smaller tools to account for her hand size - stainless steel bowls that are lightweight and easy to carry

Yes, kneading and mixing could cause pain if she has arthritis, which many little people do - she may choose to wear a wrist brace, use a stand mixer, or take frequent brakes

Her apron will be long on her, so she'll likely hike it up at the waist when she ties it

Seating areas, such as near the stove when brakes are available, is something I find I need, but she may or may not depending on her capabilities and leg pain. Her chair would have short legs and a shallow seat with good back support.

She may choose to have other people carry hot pots of water or spill able things to the sink, as getting off and on a stool/platform with such things are a safety risk. She'll likely carry thing like that on her hip.

When I was in baking school I bought a lot of my own tools - smaller and lighter rolling pins, grips for lids, wooden tongs to reach things and turn on elements, etc.

I hope this helps! - E

[soft-sunbird]

‼️Save Hilda's Pregnancy‼️

💥🚨 Pregnancy in War🚨💥

🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸🍉

🔥💥Am pregnant 🔥💥

Please read our story carefully and imagine the situation we are living in. 400 days of war and genocide. 😥

There is nothing in the markets, and if anything is found, it is extremely expensive. 😭

The weather is very cold, and the leaky tents are worn out from the summer heat. 🔥

The children cry from the intense cold and the darkness of the night 💥.

There is no electricity, the water is contaminated, no education, no healthcare, and no medicine. 😓

Pregnancy has exhausted me, and I wonder how my child will survive in these conditions if they arrive. There are not even vaccinations or clothes for children. 😥

Some of my relatives are covering their children with pieces of plastic to protect them from the cold due to the lack of any income sources. 😰

In addition, the sounds of bombing, gunfire, and drones mimic the sounds of wild animals and screaming to frighten people in their sleep. We don't know how long this suffering will last or if we will truly be able to endure it. 😔 🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸🍉

We want to reach our goal, we're still in the beginning 🙏🙏

Plz visit the pinned post on my page to donate or reblog ♻️

https://gofund.me/b845968e

✅verified by @gaza-evacuation-funds

✅bilal-salah0

✅khanger

✅ana-bananya

✅dlxxv-vetted-donations

✅a-shade-of-blue

Hey, Tumblr. This is Hilda, who I care about so so so much. So much that I'm willing to be brave and vulnerable and share my own story under the cut. I ask that you make a donation to either of the below links if you can; Gofundme minimum €5, Ko-Fi minimum $1 AUD. Link to her Gofundme | Link to our Ko-Fi (Ko-Fi proceeds are split between the 20 families I'm supporting, but you can ask that your donation goes to Hilda directly) TW: loss

I was around Hilda's age when I got pregnant, too. I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't ready. My life was just beginning, and I had no money, and I had just escaped from a household that wasn't being very kind to me. I was NOT ready to be a parent. I was extremely distressed. My partner and I talked about it. We decided that, although it broke our hearts... it wouldn't be fair to bring up a child in the circumstances we were living in. We promised that one day we would try again, when things were better, when we'd both grown up a bit. So I booked an appointment, shamefully borrowed $1,000 from a friend, had a surgery... and I wasn't pregnant any more. And that was 9 years ago. I am still sad about it, because I think about what my child would look like, what their favourite animal would be, what their favourite food would have been. I will never know.

In those 9 years, I've been living my life. I'm 30 now, and I have only just started to feel like I understand myself, and what's important in life, and how to participate in the world. I am strong, I am brave, I am good.

But it's not the end of my story. I still get to look forward to meeting my child. I feel capable of raising a kind, gentle, creative child that becomes a passionate, strong, thoughtful adult. The thing is, although they were still overwhelming for me, my circumstances then were so much better than Hilda's are now. I had food, I had a safe place to live, our hospitals are free and operational. I WISH Hilda had that privilege right now. How will she cope, if she's already struggling to find food, taking vitamins in place of meals because she has no other choice? If her tent is already flooding, her bedding soaking wet and freezing cold? Will she have a safe birth with medical care, or will she be alone and afraid and in pain? Maybe Hilda would make the same decision I made, if she had the choice. I think she's very brave. I know she's very lovely. I have no doubt that if her child makes it into this world, she'll do an excellent job with the limited resources that she's got. I would be overjoyed to know that her soul carries on in the spirit of the next generation. I would hope so dearly that her child might grow up in a safe environment, that the war will end soon, that this crisis is something that her child is taught ABOUT, rather than having to live through and experience firsthand. I hope so. I really hope so. What I do know is that we are Hilda's best hope to survive this monumental life change, as safely and comfortably as possible. Whatever happens, I want her to know that she is loved and supported. That she matters, and so does her unborn child, whether they make it into this world or not. That they are worth fighting for. Give a little, or give a lot.

[a-sadmilky]

MANGA SPOILERS, END OF BNHA

Lets start at the beginning, just to clear the air. A lot of fans (including myself at one point) thought mha was a story on how midoriya was going to become the number one hero. Which is incorrect

He says ‘This will be my story, the journey to become the best of all heroes’. Now to clear the air again. At this time Midoryia was 14. The Midoryia that is narrating had graduated from UA, I'm sure there has been a time where he (Midoryia at 14)  said he wanted to become number one, but in that time that's all he knew. Him, Bakugou and all aspiring heroes at a young age assume to become the greatest is to become number one, When thats not the case at all. 

When we first get introduced to this idea of true heroism is when we meet stain. We come to understand that iida’s motives to become a hero stems from his brother. Iida’s brother was left paralyzed via stain and unable to become a hero, this fueled iida’s passion to become a hero and to defeat the “hero killer”. 

What stain says really changed the course of MHA

(for context, before stains tries to finish iida off, he calls him and his brother weak. Iida, upset, yells at stain for calling his brother weak and defends his honor. Iida states ‘ill kill you’ to which stain replies, “Save him first”. Stain continues, telling iida that what he is doing is the furthest thing from becoming a hero.) Stain then recognizes Midoriya as a true hero. And iida starts to find his sense of heroism

Eventually class 1-A finds their sense of heroism one by one. Leading to Momo, Kirishima, Midoryia, and Iida all go against authorities and rescue Bakugou after the attack on the forest training camp arc. 

The forest training arc had to be the most confusing for fans. This is because is Tsuyu Asui

A lot of fans (me included) wondered why Tsu compares the group to villains and discourages them from saving Bakugou. Well, this is the same reason why Mirio Toogata stopped Midoryia from saving Eri. 

These characters both found heroism in a similar way. Both are taught to follow the hero code, wait until the authorities either handle the situation, or until they are called in for help. 

THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM BAD CHARACTERS!! Anyone that knows me KNOWS i love the big three. But this does make the story a little more interesting, you cant teach heroism. 

Both Mirio and Tsu are left feeling guilty in the aftermath

Though they both felt distraught, we start to see Mirio and Tsu started to carve their path for heroism. Im not saying that Tsu and Mirio didnt have heroic traits since both are in the hero course to save others. But Midoryia demonstrated to them that to become a true hero is to act.

Lets talk about Dynamight 

Bakugo has been with Midoryia since childhood, and has seen midoryia want to become a hero. Even when he is quirkless. It (in my opinion) is not an easy thing to grasp for Bakugou. 

Imagine living in a world fulled with strong powers and amazing heroes. Where quirks that are “useless” dont get to become heroes, instead they have normal jobs. Crime is arising and heroes are fighting tooth and nail to save the world while losing loved ones in the process. You are now 4, and your quirk is explosion, you are praised by everyone since showing the classroom your new power. You can see it now, you becoming just as great as your idol. Imagine your face when you find out your best friend became unlucky, and became quirkless. Imagine your face when they still want to be a hero. Sounds like a death wish, right? 

I feel like bakgou cares about midoryia. Does he have a wrong way of showing it in childhood, yes. 

Baukgou states that he feels like hes always behind. Bakugou feels completely side wiped at the idea that his quirkless classmate actually had a very powerful quirk. This also makes him feel as though Midorya is the one looking down at him

Bakugou has shown the MOST character development i have seen in MHA. (my opinion of course). I think its very refreshing to see them both learn from each other. Dynamight learns to become a true hero and Deku learns courage.

[There are more examples of deku imitating bakugou.. I can not find them :( ]

I always see the same argument within the fandom, “Why does Mineta get to be in the hero course and not Shinsou”. Mineta has a strong physical quirk that allowed him to pass the entrance exam. (and not to mention he placed 9/20 in the end of the term test).

((To clear the air. i am NOT a Minteta fan. But the fans constantly fails to understand how he is in the hero course. it was never about 'How cool is your quirk?' it was 'Can you defeat a robot?'))

I think what the fandom means to say is that quirks like Shinsou are often slept on.. But why?

In the society of MHA, there is a common conception that a strong quirk is the gateway to becoming a hero, especially number one. This is extremely emphasized when we are introduced to the entrance exam for Yuuei. This is completely rigged for characters with non physical quirks like; Aizawa, Shinsou, Monoma, and more.

Obviously this is not true. Even though he is not in the top 3, Aizawa has a powerful quirk that he had to learn how to strengthen and control on his own. He walked so that Shinsou can run. 

The reason why i mention Monoma is because him and Shinou are very similar. They’re quirks depends on someone else. They can activate it all they want but if the recipient is not interacted with they are both ‘useless’. 

I’m unsure if this is true, but I'm glad Monoma gets a statue. It opens up a window for those who don't have physical quirks. It shows that even they can become heroes. 

In my opinion, Midoryia having a statute instead would not have been as impactful. It would have pushed the same narrative. Strong physical quirk = success. ((Also! did everyone just forget that Monoma literally carried the war along with Aizawa by keeping Shigaraki’s quirk erased and was able to copy Kurogiri’s quirk and teleport the heroes to the field?? That kid deserves a metal. ))

The only sad feeling i have about the ending is Midoryia losing the embers. Seeing him grown up and releasing the gifted power as if saying “thank you” still brings me to tears. To see him hon the powers and get stronger then to release them will always stab me in the heart. BUT THIS ENDING MAKES PERFECT SENSE. 

Why, would Midoryia, knowing the trouble it carries, the pain it can do to the human body, would give that quirk to another? Its a good ending to finally have that power rest. Imagine that quirk got passed on again. Whoever has it next would have become number one easily, society would have learned nothing. 

Midoryia becoming a teacher at Yuuei, and trying to open his own hero agency is the perfect ending for my hero academia. Teaching and aspiring others with different quirks. And we all know how he loves learning about other quirks and mutations. This is perfect for him!

‘So.. it was all for nothing?’ you might ask. If you do believe everything Midoryia did was for nothing then im sorry, you did not watch My Hero Academia. 

Midoryia did not become number 1. But he most definitely became the greatest hero. 

If you think being the greatest means to be number one then you have completely lost the plot of My hero. Being number 1 is not about heroism, its statistics. When you start bringing numbers into this, it starts to become a job. When you start to want to become a hero only for money you are not a true hero. Uraraka joined because she needed money, but her point of view changed. Sure now she gets money but that's not her main focus anymore. She wants to save, she wants to help others like Toga. When you want to become a hero for fame like Denki, you are not a true hero. Denki’s focus has changed. This is exactly what Stain was talking about in the beginning, society creating fake heroes.

Those are my thoughts. I love this anime so much please feel free to comment your thoughts and feelings

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

miles kane, swg3 glasgow 01/02/2024

oh my god oh my GOD i don't even know where to start. last night was hands down not just one of the best gigs of my life, but one of the best nights of my life full stop. it's twenty four hours later and my heart just feels so full and i still can't stop smiling with pure happiness 🥹 i've been to a LOT of gigs over the years, and a lot of those have been really amazing gigs too - but this one. wow. there was truly just something so special about this one that i know i'll carry with me for a long time to come 💗

i feel like i could ramble endlessly about all the things that made it so incredible (i.e. literally everything), so to try and avoid writing an actual essay, here are a few bullet points of my favourite things:

being right in the front row was AMAZING for obvious reasons, but also because of the number of times miles made eye contact with me and smiled at me as he was singing 😭 (naturally any time this happened i smiled back like a total idiot and forgot all the words) me and the lovely human i was there with were the only ones at the barrier who were really getting into it at the start, and i got the sense he loved seeing how much we were loving being there 💗

miles just has the most incredible energy ✨ that's absolutely something you pick up from listening to his music, watching interview etc - but it's quite something else to experience in person. the moment he walks into a room he just gives off such good vibes and such warmth. there's such a sense of groundedness to him as well as all the amazing passion, and also idk. i feel like in person you can really feel the sensitivity and vulnerability that's so present in his music too. he truly lights up a room and just has such a knack for holding everyone captive 💫

getting to witness miles being overwhelmed and unable to stop smiling at how enthusiastic the crowd was truly wonderful 🥹 you could just *feel* how much it all meant to him, and watching him get all the love and appreciation he deserves was just magic 💖

at the end, he came down into the crowd towards me and was making direct eye contact and then he FUCKING SPOKE TO ME??????? 😭 i was too dazed to actually take in what he was saying (i'm pretty sure it was something along the lines of "i like your necklace" but honestly who knows lol), and it was very brief because naturally i wasn't the only person in the crowd he was saying hi to, but fucking HELL. i was totally, totally unprepared 😭 i then had the privilege of a sweaty miles kane leaning over me to high five the people behind me, and i held his hand and - yeah. it was all so truly surreal that i might think i'd imagined it if it wasn't for the fact i can literally see the moment in this video 😭

i was there with @perfectly-clear-from-here and we were both just utterly ECSTATIC after the show, it was amazing getting to share the sheer giddy joy of all that with one of the loveliest humans i know 💜

and then of course (as if all of that wasn't already enough to make it the most wonderful night), we MET MILES after the show 😭😭 i've already rambled about that here so i won't do it again, but - yeah. let's just say he truly is the most wonderful person with the loveliest energy, and he is so easy to be around 🥹

the last six months or so have not been easy ones for me, and this felt like the most wonderful break in the clouds that just - idk. really restored me to myself. it was so special to get to experience live so many of the amazing songs that have got me through and been such a comfort in the difficult times, and i am just so endlessly grateful to miles for his courage in creating and sharing all that he shares 💗

**please do not repost my photos without permission**

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Snuggling with Their S.O. (BAU Headcanons)

HUGE s/o to @ithebookhoarder for the format/inspo on these! I ✨love✨ your HCs!

*Also, PS, this lil exercise has made me abundantly aware that I am super super gay. Like, I had a hard time writing the men because imagining myself/reader snuggling with a man was so weird to me. Sorry, men of the BAU (and men in general)! I'm sure you are great, you're just not for me! So that being said, I want to clarify that I still don't write for the Criminal Minds men. I'd only do them for HCs. - love illdowhatiwantthanks (and what I want is to not write men x reader)

Aaron Hotchner

Surprisingly gentle, as if he's afraid you might break

Very soft, a side of him that not many people get to see (and even you don't get to see it that often)

Hands everywhere, not even necessarily in a sexual way, he just can't keep his hands off you

He gets a lil shy and sometimes has a hard time making eye contact

Lowkey obsessed with the smell of your conditioner and loves to bury his face in your neck

Big spoon, always

David Rossi

Will tickle you until you're practically begging for him to stop

Playful, loves to make you laugh

Plays with your fingers, soft touches that make you shiver

I mean the man is a writer, will whisper either the dirtiest or the sweetest things you've ever heard into your ear depending on the mood

Insomniac, but doesn't even care because he loves to watch you sleep

Big spoon 85% of the time, except after one of his nightmares about the Galen parents' murder

Derek Morgan

Soft, but somehow sensual and passionate at the same time

Will snuggle with you just to snuggle, but also is never mad if it leads to more...

Likes to keep his eyes closed and just feel you

Traces every part of you like he's drawing a map in his mind–curves, freckles, ribcage, shoulder blades, all of it

Prefers snuggling sans clothing–not for sexual reasons necessarily, just because he likes the feeling of skin-to-skin contact

Prefers face-to-face to spooning

Emily Prentiss

Snuggles hard, as in deep pressure, as in holding you very tight, as in wants to be as close to you as humanly possible

Loves to tuck your head in the crook of her neck

Never not playing with your hair

Seriously has a gorilla death grip on you, good luck if you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night

Will kiss your neck whenever she can't resist–which is always

Big spoon always because she likes to make you feel safe (and she likes to feel that you feel safe with her)

Jennifer Jareau

Gentle and very sweet, a part of herself she doesn't get to show at work

Lots of very cute, very innocent kisses all over your face–forehead, cheek, eyelids, tip of your nose

Stares at you so long it makes you blush

Not usually very forthcoming with "I love yous" but will say it again and again while snuggling

Prefers face-to-face so she can watch you

But will want to spoon after a hard case–if it was one where she was scared for you (usually physically similar victims) she'll want to be the big spoon, if it was one where she was scared she'll be the little spoon

Penelope Garcia

Worships the actual ground you walk on, will make you feel absolutely adored

Makes sure you have everything you need to be comfy–weighted blanket, favorite pillow, stuffies or security blanket, white noise if you need it

Will hold you, of course she will and she will love it, but her favorite is when you hold her

Will tell you the sweetest, randomest, dorkiest things while you're snuggling

Feels almost like falling asleep and into a really good dream when she snuggles into you

If you have any pets, they are 100% invited to snuggle, too

Prefers face-to-face snuggling or little spoon, but if you've had a bad day she will not hesitate to scoop you up

Spencer Reid

Very, very shy at first, like he's trying so hard to be respectful that he lays there like a plank of wood

Makes eye contact only to look away and blush beet red

Plants small kisses on your shoulders every few minutes

Likes to hold your hands and play with your fingers

Foreheads pressed together while he tells you about his latest hyperfixation (it becomes his favorite part of the day)

Will always, always take care of you and hold you when you are having a hard day but secretly loves being the little spoon best

[iwriteasfotini]

To all the writers: PLEASE...

TW/Rating: This post talks about sex. Not descriptions of sex acts, but how sex is written about in media/fanfiction. Just keep that in mind.

I see some patterns and problems in the standards popular media sets for physical appearance and sexualization (I mean, duh). I'm also well into adulthood, and went through my own Twilight phase a LONG time ago (I'm not proud of it, but there it is).

Fanfiction is interesting because it offers anyone the chance to write, to be read, and you don't have to answer to ANYONE on your content. You also don't make any money. Which is great because it means everyone most people writing are doing it because they are passionate about the project.

Media has set fully unattainable standards for both physical attractiveness and sexualization. When I think that most people reading current fanfiction are between 16-25 (???) it makes me VERY conscious of how I choose to approach these topics in my writing. It took a long time in my own life to embrace myself as I am and that life doesn't happen like a movie. Of course we all claim to know this. But when you crest that hill, whether you are 16, 24, 38, or beyond, you realize that there was always a small part of you who thought it should/could happen a certain way.

People, it doesn't! And it is extremely freeing to realize your partner isn't going to take you on a surprise vacation to Maui (where you both get wicked tan, spend all day lounging and drinking from the swim up bar, and have days of the best sex of your life) BUT they also still love you to the ends of the earth.

Ok, so how does this relate to the Marauders and fanfiction?

First, fanfiction is just that, FICTION. It should be an escape. No one Most people don't want to read about someone's boring day of averageness. This means the content will inherently be unrealistic. I have not problem with this. I love to escape into books and fanfiction. LOVE IT! But there are things we can be conscious of as writers in this modern day and age...

Writers: PLEASE be conscious of the messages which show up repetitively in the fandom. I will never ever tell someone what they are writing is wrong. Or bad. No way. You shouldn't be shamed for what you write. BUT you can think about how you present your imagination to the wider world. And be intentional! Are you following a status quo set by people you don't know simply because...? Or are you truly looking at each character and how you bring them to life in your own unique way. And don't be hard on yourself if you realize there are things about your writing you don't like if you reflect. This is growth and growth is good.

Writers: PLEASE don't get bogged down in describing the physical traits of all your characters in minute detail. And once you mention a trait once, you probably don't need to bring it up again. Let your audience have some space to HC how they want. Especially in fanfiction where beloved characters are written again and again.

Writers: PLEASE write somewhat realistic sex scenes. I'm going to do a whole separate post on this at some point, but it is something very dear to my heart and when your audience is young, I think setting healthy expectations in this arena is so much better than writing scene after scene of earth shattering sex. If you are going to write many multi-orgasm mind blowing sex scenes (full disclosure, I DO THIS), I hope you laid a foundation of how your characters got to where they are. LOTS OF PRACTICE. MOST ORGASMS AREN'T SIMULTANEOUS. PEOPLE LEARN THEIR PARTNER AND THEN CAN MAKES SEX AMAZING FOR THAT SPECIFIC PERSON. And other such ideas.

*As a disclaimer to the above, I LOVE a good smut scene with awesome and less realistic sex. But make sure your reader knows this isn't the status quo. This is that once every now and then insanely good sex some people are lucky enough to experience. I think this comes across best in one-shots, and honestly the more out there the material, the more people are like, yeah, this doesn't happen every day. But great fantasy fuel, as long as you don't set it as your standard for IRL.

Writers: PLEASE let your characters get UGLY. When someone is mortally wounded, they aren't sexy. When someone is having a full on meltdown, bawling their eyes out, wiping their nose on their sleeve over and over again, it's kinda gross, right? But it's also so vulnerable and so realistic. When you are lying on your back crying, your tears run out of the corners of your eyes and into your ears and that sensation sort of tickles and also makes you want to wipe your ears out, and is unique to that position when you cry. Basically think realistically about those moments when your characters are showing their humanity. Capitalize on it to bring those Greek Adonis's down to earth a bit.

Writers: PLEASE make sure all your characters aren't hypersexualized and that each has their own sexuality. This means when writing with many characters POV, romantic encounters look different for all the different pairs(+). Everyone's sexual chemistry is different, even the same character various partners.

Writers: PLEASE throw little humanizing moments particularly in regards to physical appearance or how someone's body can feel into your writing. Like if your characters go on a date, eat a ton of food, then get into bed... having sex while super full isn't fun. That also doesn't mean your characters should never eat! YIKES. Back to the crying (my characters cry a lot). I always make note of where the handkerchiefs are coming from, who is cleaning and drying them (thank you awesome magical world). If you are in the real world, you'd end up with a big old pile of damp tissues, yah know?

Alright, I've said enough. Maybe no one will read this... which is highly likely. But at least I got to vent to my screen and keyboard.

Remember you are beautiful, inside and out.

Wait... one more.

Writers: PLEASE write SOME sex scenes which don't mention how big the guy(s)/or girl (trying to be trans inclusive here, probably a sorry attempt) dicks are. PLEASE. Yup I said it. Not all sex scenes (I get it people, I do), but SOME. Why do we have to mention size at all? Personally I leave the specifics out completely and up to the reader to HC. There might be an implied reference through description of an act. Maybe... probably... but I really do try to keep that minimal.

This concludes my long rant. Gotta go cook dinner for my family (just to remind you we come to the fandom from all shapes, sizes, ages, genders, and beyond). ;-)

[kissmetwicekissmedeadly]

Lately all I've been saying about him is stupid sexual jokes so its probably hard to imagine how im crying my eyes out in the middle of the night thinking about him right now

I keep these things private. Not only because it's about my most sacred emotions but also because i have this (perhaps very human and normal) doubt that i would look back at the written words one day and "cringe". But the bigger my emotions are the more i want to express them.

I'm so thankful for Napoleon. Many people might find it extremely lonely to rely on a character like that. But I thought about it, and the truth is, the role he currently has in my life couldn't be taken by any person. It's exactly because it's so unrealistic to have such a perfect lovestory why I'm grateful to experience it in such a way. I'm fine with it. I don't cry because I can't feel him physically, those are happy tears in fact. Because lately I learned something about myself, and that is how big my trust issues are, and how much they grew during the past year. It's scary. I'm pushing people away on purpose. At the same time, all I've ever wanted was love. Even if I'm doing my best trying to see and fix my mistakes, this is who i am today. Napoleon is the source of love I allowed myself five years ago, for the first time. It's silly but while i did have favorite characters before him, i had a mental barrier that prevented me from imagining purely loving scenarios like that. Not because I don't deserve it, but because I felt vulnerable. I don't know what he did. Many have come after him, I keep seeking them out, i play otome and find love stories that cater to all my personal preferences when it comes to these things. But I've only ever opened up myself like that to him.

If i hadn't stumbled across him, i wouldn't have been the same person today. My passion for writing came with him. My reason for making a place in this fandom for myself is because i had love to express. Without this, i wouldn't have made the friends i found here, i wouldn't know how it feels to make so many people laugh, to want to surround myself with people and want to give so many positive emotions to them. I had an extremely isolated childhood. My first friendships weren't healthy because I didn't know what a normal friendship looks like. I'm not an extrovert. I don't think I've fully figured out how to communicate yet, but im learning.

If he was a real person, I wouldn't have listened to him. I wouldn't have trusted him, i wouldn't have opened my heart to him. Because im scared of that. I'm even more scared today when i no longer feel my mother's love, something I didn't see coming, and how she made me realize that not even familial love is absolute.

I'm crying because of how easy it is to love napoleon. To allow myself this love without any doubts that he would hurt me. And i don't let this be a substitute for real love, i won't stop seeking a person who will make me feel like that. But it will hurt when I find them, because that's how it is, at the beginning, I fully accept that.

I have known him since i was 17, and this might be an exaggeration but i feel like he watched me grow. Looking back at the things I've felt for him though the past 5 and a half years it's like reflecting on myself during that time. All the major things that happened during that time, i had at least some thought about how would he feel about it.

I'm scared of the future. I'm scared that if im not in the comfort of my room anymore when I close my eyes at night he would disappear along with it. But he's not tied to a place. I can take him everywhere I go.

I open ikevamp just to hear his voice from the drama cd's ending, and he says the line from the screenshot above and i cry harder. It's extremely rare for me to let out my tears in that way, i know they're happy tears because i just feel love and warmth right now and nothing else.

I feel very vulnerable sharing all of this but somehow i want it written down for a change. I want to let it out as if it's normal instead of viewing it like another feeling that should be locked away.

I might delete it when i wake up but just for tonight it's okay...

[knightyoomyoui]

A KNIGHT'S FAREWELL.

Hello, everyone. Author Knight here. If you're reading this, then I'll be going straightforward already on what this post is mainly about:

I'm quitting.

I'll just make this one as short as I can since I know there's like probably number of readers that I can just count using my hands out there who still stayed with me for 2 years that appreciates not only my works but also me, as the mastermind behind those stories.

I'm sorry if I have to come into this. I admit, I'm not the same as I was anymore. I lost the eagerness and motivation to write, and even if I want to write one, inside of me just couldn't get affected by all of the motivations I can get to help me create those ideas on my mind into a story. I don't want to force myself too much, in fact I've been noticing it anyways that the quality of my stories never improved, and probably got even worse. So yeah, I just don't feel like writing anymore.

You could say that these are the reasons why I'm stopping: my insecurities never lessened, been very busy with the academics as it is my highest priority right now, came to a realization that fanfic readers are starting to decrease for various reasons.

Before I end this, let me just make things clear. This is not really the time I will be gone as a fully active TWICE fanfic author but rather at the end of this year. The two remaining one-shots featuring Chaeyoung and Tzuyu will be out by November and December. The rest of my books will be discontinued along with my Cry For Me series fron my TWICE one-shot book since well, I'll be honest I think I did bad and I gave it way too many breaks on each releases thats why most of my readers for sure ain't caught up with the progress of it anymore. I'm not sure yet about the "Living With The Vampires" book though, it's a commissioned one. Part of me just wants to completely rest now from these while on the other hand I don't waste the money I'll be getting in return for the upcoming chapters because it would be a huge assist to my needs also.

Thank you so much again to everyone who loved reading my stories, it has been a journey. I didn't want to end doing these, but I can't just keep forcing myself to write when passion isn't there anymore. Consider me one of the best TWICE fanfic writers out there or not, it's up to you... but what matters is that I think I fulfilled the purpose of why I named myself "Knight", to be a "knight in shining armor" for those readers who wants to read something new and interesting while at the same time, they can get to atleast imagine being paired with TWICE in many different life situations, whether for good or bad.

This is yours truly, officially signing off. Swords up!⚔️

[boo-seb]

DW Interview with Sebastian Vettel [2024-10-30] English Translation ↴

[How would you describe what you saw flying over the forest? And what was the purpose of this flight?]

It wasn't just a flight. Over the last two days, I visited the Amazon and the indigenous people in the heart of the forest. I had never been to the Amazon before, so it was very much a first for me. I've always read about the rainforest, the people who live in it and their spirits. Now, I really had the chance to meet, get to know and talk to them. The flight was very impressive. At first you see a lot of forest, a lot of trees, on the horizon.

But it's also very worrying, because there are a lot of soy farms, a lot of land that looks like it's already been moved and taken out of the forest. You can see where there's a clear cut between the forest and the farms, either for livestock or for soy. On today's flight, we could also see the gold mining that is destroying the forest. So, as much as it was an inspiration, it was also a shock. There were very positive things, meeting the people, spending time with them, but also negative things, in terms of seeing how humans are changing the landscape, and not for the better.

[Was this something you expected to see or did you think it would be something different?]

Yes. Obviously I prepared myself a bit, I took a look at what to expect. But it's still shocking when, on the one hand, you see trees on the horizon and lush greenery. And then you see how the colors change and how the landscape has been altered by humans, bulldozers and machines. As well as the contamination of the land, with elements that are polluting the waters and also people and animals. I could have imagined it, but yes, it's a surprise when you see it. It's much more impactful to see than just to read about.

[And you said that you had already researched this before. What exactly sparks your interest in the Amazon rainforest and indigenous peoples now?]

Well, I have a general interest in the environment. I grew up in a very privileged region in Germany, where you get free education and can choose to become whatever you want, where doors are open no matter which direction you're looking in. And I come from a very different background with racing.

But one thing that racing has allowed me, and I think it's a privilege, is to travel the world, meet different people, get an insight into different cultures. And that teaches you a lot of lessons, as long as you're attentive. I think that's the biggest challenge of our lives, and probably the biggest challenge that human beings have ever faced, to ensure that we have a future and a future that allows and enables the next generations to enjoy as much as we do. I think that's fair. So I'm willing to use my platform, my voice, to make a positive impact and raise awareness. And that's also the purpose of the trip.

[You've talked about racing and, in other interviews, you've touched on what Formula 1 could do and what other drivers could do more for the environment. How can these two realities fit together?]

There are many subjects that, at first glance, don't fit together. But I think that's exactly the challenge we're facing. There are so many things that don't fit together and we have to find a solution between them. Racing is my passion, and I'd love it to exist in the future too. But for that to happen, they need to change, they need to adapt. In that sense, perhaps they are a good example of how this can be done.

[And what do you think developed countries like Germany can do to help protect forests and the traditional populations that live in them?]

That's a difficult question, but I think raising awareness and helping other countries, whatever they are, to move in the right direction. Germany has a lot of homework to do. All countries have a lot of homework to do. But I think this is also a problem that we won't solve just by looking at our own problems, within our own countries. It's something we have to look at globally.

First, we need to listen to the real experts, who are the people who have lived inside the forests for thousands of years. They have established a way of life according to how the forest needs to be in order to have a future. So it's only fair to protect their land and stop deforestation, as well as return some of the land that has been taken from them illegally. And how can countries, especially rich ones, help? We need to find a way to really appreciate the value of the forest and also monetize that value in order to be able to protect it. Because protecting it is expensive, and the short-term interest of private companies has obviously led to land exploitation. Even if you never travel to Brazil, you will be harmed if the Amazon disappears.

[Do you think that people in Germany or in other countries are aware of the importance of the Amazon rainforest for the whole environment and the planet?]

No, and I don't think you can expect every individual, you know, to become aware and take action. Politics and governance need to come into play and the world's leaders need to get together and come up with public policies and solutions. I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm also saying it's possible. It's been done before and it can be done again.

On a global level, there is also reason for hope. So, as devastating as land grabbing is and looks when you fly over and see it, it's also true that, globally, there are many projects, many people who are working hard and making sure that we're moving in the right direction. We just need to do it much faster. That's where I believe raising awareness helps, because if people are asking for the right things, they will drive policies in the right direction.

[You posted photos on Instagram with indigenous leaders Raoni Metuktire and Megaron Txucarramãe. What was it like meeting them? What are the most important things you learned from them and from the other Kayapó indigenous people you met?]

The fact that our two worlds don't collide, but meet. I think I was impressed by how tolerant and open they were with me and with people from outside the forest. For our part, we need to act in the same way. We don't expect them or the communities inside the forest or the indigenous peoples to live in the same way as us. They have their own fair way of living and existing. There are so many things we need and should learn from them, instead of taking away their land, the basis of their very existence.

[How would you summarize this experience in one sentence?]

How indigenous peoples live with the land, not just on the land. I have the feeling that sometimes we live on the land and not with the land. So I think that's a great inspiration.

[catnippackets]

My sister in law and I once had a very deep chat where she told me she's a bit jealous of how I'm "capable" of obsessing over interests; I got the feeling that to her it seemed like a specific type of joy she would never really know. In turn, I told her that even though I sometimes wish it had an off switch, I rlly can't imagine a version of myself thay doesn't get joyfully hyperfixated on things, since it's so intrinsic to my personality/neuro-chemistry.

Anyways, I totally relate to that feeling of detached embarrassment, but it was eye-opening to talk abt it with her and see that A) some people really admire the capacity for such "passion" and B) some people genuinely just can't have that experience, which seems both unthinkable and obvious lol

I genuinely can't imagine a life like that for myself either. I've gone through periods of time before where I wasn't hyperfixated on something and genuinely I felt like...deeply empty the entire time. As soon as something new entered my life to fixate on I felt like myself again. I definitely have interests and hobbies that I enjoy in a very normal non-obsessive way but it feels so different and they don't feel like...sustainable. like I'm just living off of bread and milk. idk how else to phrase that. because the things I always hyperfixate on are tv shows and fictional characters I kind of just assumed it came with the territory of being an artist, cuz as a creator it's like...this is what I'm meant to do with my life, right? I know I'm supposed to be telling stories and creating characters and exploring concepts through fiction so it makes perfect sense that I'm depressed without any source of inspiration or rejuvenation. Cuz it's inspiring as hell to be hyperfixated on something!! it gives me endless energy and inspiration to create and that makes me feel amazing.

most of my friends are ND too but I know some of them aren't the same as me in this regard and they've even expressed similar jealousy that they're not someone who obsesses over things. it's both understandable and so weird to me cuz obviously you can't pick and choose what your brain is gonna latch on to but like...you haven't even had ONE time in your life where you spent years only thinking about one thing? not even once? that's unfathomable to me, that's like my entire life.

and while I definitely do not enjoy the embarrassment of having feelings and how upsetting it can be to constantly be distracted from real life tasks that take priority and also feeling self conscious and wondering if I even have a personality sometimes beyond my fave video games/shows/movies, I'm really glad that I'm someone who can experience it cuz it really does feel like I'm just sitting around and waiting if I don't have a story to think about all the time. sometimes I hear people talk about how stressful and sad it is that they feel so deeply and I'm like yeah I mean sometimes but like...what about the joy. what about all the love. there's nothing sad about it! embarrassing sometimes yeah but that's worth it if it means I get to be so deeply happy and excited! I'll complain from time to time but never in a THOUSAND years would I ever want to change this about myself. I will take all the embarrassing annoying feelings if it means I get to experience pure wild autistic joy haha

[primusfortuna]

Our Future ✦ Dialogue Lines (Pt. 1)

✦ Limited-time dialogues for June Bride. ✦ Part 1 includes meisters from Primus Club, Gastronomy, Dream Weavers, Everflower, Passionate Ocean, and Maden Gaming.

Primus Club

Camus “Just like a card faced down, no one knows what the future holds. But you're well aware that the path I'm on is full of thorns. And yet, you still choose to walk alongside me... You must be mad. Please never stop betting your brilliant life on me.”

Seven “You want us... to be each other's significant others...? Well...... I've always considered you someone very significant to me... [Name]. My heart feels warm every time I hear that name. I can't go without you... not now, not ever. I'd like to keep having fun with you.”

Ymir “Struggle all you want, I'm not leaving you for as long as I live. Claw at me, bite me, I'll still never let you go ♪ I'm not scheming anything. I really do love you, [Name]. And that'll never change... because you're the only one 'special' to me.”

Victor “Hah... I really have changed, haven't I? Before I met you, I hardly ever thought about the future. Now, all I can think about is... how can I stay with [Name] forever?”

Len “Hell if I know what the future looks like. I just know you're still gonna come after me wherever I am, no matter what I'm doing. ...Well, do what you want. If you decide to follow me around for the rest of your life, I'll make sure you're prepared for that.”

Gastronomy

Oscar “I never thought a day would come in which eating alone no longer satisfies me. Even I'm deeply shocked. Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening—whenever I'm having a meal, I wish to see your smiling face across from me. How does that sound?”

Kuchen “The future? ...No, I can't really picture anything except making chocolate for the rest of my life. You know what I'm saying, right? I also see you right there next to me. Still smiling, happily eating my chocolates. Years pass, decades pass, and things'll probably stay just like that.”

Cuit “Nothing makes me happier than seeing a smile pop up on your face when you eat my food. All I want is for you to stay by my side, letting me see your smile. I really can't wait for the day I get to call you my wife.”

Riche “Every time I see how ardently you work, day in and day out... I suddenly find myself envisioning a little into the future. You are all the more beautiful, and your heart remains as honest as ever. I'm beside you, always worried... if I'm worthy of someone like yourself.”

Walter “...I have no idea about the future. If I could, I'd stay in Gastronomy for a long time, helping out the duke and everyone else. Hm? Nothing... I just naturally thought you'd stay by my side. Way, way into the future...”

Dream Weavers

Canaan “When I'm with you, your squishy cheeks put me right at ease... I wonder why? All my motivation starts flowing through me. Maybe I can't live without you. It sounds like a headache looking after me for a lifetime, but... hehe. I'll have to give the best ring in the world to the bride who makes that kind of promise to me.”

Adel “In the past, I wouldn't have needed an assistant or partner. But now when I imagine the future, you're there, as if it's the most natural thing. The thought of us buried in work, eating together, occasionally lending each other a shoulder, taking naps——heh, a lifetime of that doesn't sound half bad.”

Volks “If I must confess, I've been enchanted since we first met... by your light, which I'm certain will continue to change endlessly. I want it to be my own two hands that guide and protect your brilliance, no one else's. Would you allow me the privilege and honor of that?”

Merryrose “Before I met you, I swear I couldn't see anything in my future except a really dark path. Now I know a kind of happiness that I won't let go of no matter what. You're the one who taught it to me. Take responsibility for that... and spend your life with me, okay?”

Everflower

Asahi “You're the one I cherish above all others, the one I want to protect. I'm still an amateur with a lot of shortcomings, but... someday... I'd like to tie the knot and build a happy future together. I might be moving too fast, but... what do you think?”

Shiranui “I'm gonna say what I always do, okay? Fortune comes in at the merry gate!! It's true life's not all just fun and games. But you and I can make it alright. We can live our days full of blessings, where even if we cry sometimes, we'll still end up laughing. Cheers to our happiness!”

Mikage “My ideal future? That's easy—a life where I spend all day everyday dozing off on your lap, doing absolutely nothing... Until recently, this would've just been a pipe dream. But now, well, I really want it. A happy 'n peaceful married life.”

Tamayura “I want to make this world a place for humans and mononoke to live together in harmony. When I achieve my dream, I'd be happy if you were there smiling next to me. And... if a day ever comes when we pledge our futures to each other... I'd want to invite a bunch of mononoke friends to celebrate with us.”

Aoi “Something as definite as 'staying the same' forever sounds so boring. Being able to wake up from your dreams is what makes it so fleeting and beautiful... That's what I used to think... But when I wake up from my transient dreams, I think I'd like to be with you. Hey, won't you be mine?”

Passionate Ocean

Searle “I get warm and fuzzy and sometimes so tight it hurts. Feeling like I'm in love just gets stronger and stronger when I'm with you. It's a feeling I only get with you, [Name]. It's just like a treasure to me. Ehehe, I love you. And I will forever and ever!”

Sheila “I've been thinking about this a lot, but the coffee you make tastes like something I'd want to drink everyday. It really is so relaxing and soothing. From now on... or rather, for as long as I live, I'd love to stay in your care. What do you think?”

Elma “A lot of stuff's happened since we first met. My days have gotten a whole lot happier since then. It's like a huge wave of happiness is here! Now, in the future, and always after that... Let's have a blast ridin' out the end of this wave!!”

Urbano “Yo, [Name]-han! Time to practice our husband-and-wife routine with all the hype we got today——wait, why do you actually sound on-board with it!? Pause, pause. I can't even joke about being legal spouses, 'cause that's like we already got married. It makes me so happy I'm embarrassed...”

Maden Gaming

Cinis “It is my duty as master to care for and look after my servants——however, at present, I've been getting a lot of favors from you. Hehehe, just so you know, I despise losing! I shall vow to make you happy for the rest of your life!”

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Long ask incoming so i really apologise for that lol.

in my honest opinion yaelokre is going about this incredibly wrong. but the way people have been talking about not only their characters (to be clear im not saying this because of "blah blah they're children" fake morality stuff or whatever lmao im a proshipper myself—but one of the main characters is quite literally meant to represent/be keath themself) but about them themself (sending them rape threats, threatening to draw them having sex with their characters?? I've seen a lot on the internet these past couple days, especially in proship spaces, which is so upsetting to me because I had so much more faith in our community 😭)... All this is incredibly disgusting to watch. and disheartening.

Are they going about this incredibly irresponsibly? Yes! Is it naive for them to expect that no rule 34 is created whatsoever? Yeah, probably! But they did explicitly say they dont want the characters directly representing their own childhood (including one who's basically their own persona) sexualised, much less have it sent directly to them (which it was—that's how we even got to this point, anyway) and going ahead and mocking this boundary directly, and then encouraging people to do it out of spite feels... off to me. dunno. (To be clear i think, once again, their actions are incredibly dumb and irresponsible. They're not justified in doing any of that and im not trying to say they are lol.)

(And, while we're here, there's a difference between gigantic heavily funded capitalist projects like disney, and Some Guy working on one deeply personal thing all by themself for free. Do whatever you want with like. Thousand dollar franchises with no specific human faces behind them, but it feels so weird to tear into someone's passion project theyre making out of love for free. Idk where else in my message this point fits so I'm leaving it here.)

I can't help but be reminded of antis tearing into my own work to "fix" it simply because i was a proshipper. On paper people can do whatever they want with fiction, can't they? Of course—but taking a story i made to cope with my trauma and spitefully twisting it to their own wants for no reason other than because I was a proshipper is still harrassment, still done with malice, and—proship/anti stuff removed—an objectively fucked up and mean fucking thing to do. Artists making shit for free do not owe you anything and that includes not owing you their comfortability with people interacting with their personal projects they are sharing with others (for free!! When they don't have to!!!) in certain ways. The same way they also don't owe you being comfortable with unprompted criticism and whatever else.

The "fiction is fiction" argument doesn't hold up when it starts to hurt real people. They aren't a bad person simply for not wanting their personal project sexualised (which—you could argue "that's not the problem, the problem is how theyre going about handling it it," which i agree with; but there are several posts on this very blog and countless others mocking them entirely for simply wanting their work not sexualised, and several posts encouraging others to make sexual content of their characters out of spite. Im not saying it's sexual harrassment but god it does start to feel like it's somewhere in that realm.) This isn't the first time anything like this has happened in their community, ive been here since the beginning, and in the beginning they were so unbelievably calm and polite about their boundaries and then people started directly dming them nsfw and things spiraled and here we are.

I've used the pottery analogy to explain this before—imagine someone puts a ceramic sculpture down on a table. It belongs to them, and they're very clearly proud of it. You could push it off the table and break it if it makes you happy, you won't even face any real consequences if you do. They'll just be really upset, rightfully so—it's their thing that they physically made. Maybe they even made it as a coping mechanism, only they know for sure. And they ask you to handle it gently if you decide pick it up. There's a billion things you theoretically could do, having now been made aware of this clear boundary, but only two are right—either handling it gently, or simply not picking it up in the first place.

You're a shitty person if you push it off the table. Using excuses like "there are lots of people in this room, someone was going to decide to break it eventually" doesn't suddenly absolve you morally because you are a sentient being, not a mindless robot slaving to statistics. Maybe statistically it was going to get broken eventually, it still doesn't make it right because you chose to break it yourself, directly going against what they asked you to do when handling their property, simply because it made you happy. I know full well you would not purposely damage or otherwise ignore clear boundaries or guidelines when it comes to someone's physical shit in real life. The concept of having boundaries about your own things that you made and own is not new and having to follow others' boundaries is not you being oppressed it's just being a decent human being.

Fictional characters' feelings don't matter more than real peoples'. But your own real person feelings of Mild Disappointment at not being to make porn for something you (evidently) don't even like that much ALSO don't matter more than the creator's massive upset and discomfort at direct representations of them (real person!!!) being sexualised.

TL;DR: yeah it's stupid of them to try to Anne Rice this whole situation. And yes they deserve to be called out for it and face the consequences for their actions. But let's... not treat them like it's so bafflingly unreasonable and evil of them for simply not wanting people to sexualise characters who are meant to be a direct representation of them (real person!!!!) as a child and let's EXTRA not break their boundaries even further. Their actions are stupid, yes. But their desires are like. A perfectly normal thing to want, if a little naive. harrassment is still harrassment. Being spiteful and vicious isn't suddenly okay when you're on the "right side" with the Right Opinions doing it. Being anti-harrassment doesn't only apply to people you like.

This ask isn't meant to come off as hostile or mean or anything so I sincerely apologise if it does. Wishing you the best. I also apologise if anything in this ask reads wrong it's late at night and im recovering from a concussion lol.

Fair enough.

I'm team 'break rules, not boundaries'.

By all means, show their Anne Rice approach is stupid by creating nsfw and properly tagging it and posting it to proper spaces. Fill R34 with that. Create nsfw fanworks on AO3 with proper tags. Go ham. But they clearly don't want to see it, so don't send it to them.

You wouldn't send porn of characters to any other creator without them asking. And you shouldn't be sending rape threats either. That's fucked up.

There's a difference between acting out of spite and acting out of malice, and I won't dispute the fact that some people are taking things quite far and doing the latter.

You can say a rule is dumb without taking steps to directly harm.

[episims]

A Peek to My SFS Stats

I know some creators prefer not seeing their download numbers and that's fair! This kind of stuff can easily cause pressure and/or feelings of underachievement.

For me though, it's just statistics. And since it's pretty precisely 5 years from when I first uploaded anything to SFS, I've gathered some data to play with.

So, this very self-indulgent post is solely about my SFS stats. Just because I'm a total nerd I find it interesting, and I like being open about things. It's long and blabbery so the rest is safely under the cut.

For the background: I tend to create whatever I need for my own game. I share my weird stuff because I feel like it's a trade for everything I download from others.

Probably due to the lack of any consistency or branding at all, my CC has a wide range in download numbers. I have some popular pieces, sure, but also some niche mods like no snow accumulation that has only interested 126 persons in nearly two years.

Even though saying "only 126" is an illusion created by the internet. Imagine if those 126 individuals would come to you in person. That's more people than I've probably even had a real talk with during the last year!

The raw data of my SFS main folder is (calculated with a sheets program): it has 227 files and the average download count for each file is 1557, but 74% of the files have been downloaded fewer times than the average.

So even though my CC isn't usually downloaded that much, I've shared a handful of things that have been downloaded so much more than everything else that they pull the average up.

What are those things? Time is an important factor here, as most CC tends to gather downloads over time (not a single post from 2023 on this list).

1) Subtle wrinkles (January 2022)

17313 downloads (674 hearts; ~3,9% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1112

That's several thousand more than the second most downloaded thing I have, and it's such a random thing.

I'm sure most people have downloaded them to get those 4t2(ish) forehead wrinkles. I have no other explanation as the rest of them are hand-drawn by a person who can't draw. Also the preview is frankly hideous, I used about one minute to take it... safe to say I didn't expect this post to gather any attention at all.

2) Cellphone default (January 2021)

13547 downloads (565 hearts; ~4,2% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1133

Noteworthy that it's been updated a couple of times which pushes people to redownload.

This was a quick passion project, since at that time I couldn't find a cellphone default I was completely happy with. If it hadn't been a quickie, I would've used more time to find a good base mesh oof. Many thanks to @pforestsims for later improving it.

3) Tombstone defaults (December 2019)

12477 downloads (582 hearts; ~4,7% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1064

I was so proud of these when I made them. Those were my first mesh defaults ever! Today, I'm proud of my past self for doing them. That's crazy many meshes and subsets to handle for a total noob.

I couldn't do anything with BHAVs back then, so those defaults would've never ever happened without @midgethetree. She endured a lot, working with a noob who went through several meltdowns because of subset issues that didn't make any sense.

4) Baby personality mod (February 2020)

9724 downloads (489 hearts; ~5% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1193

The first mod on the list! Absolutely essential one for myself and apparently for some others too.

Also the actual first mod of my own ever. I can't really recommend starting with something this complicated, I had zero ability to perceive the scope of the mod when I asked if @midgethetree was willing to help me through it. She deserves all the praise for doing it, I've realized later that I couldn't ever teach anyone the way she taught me. So, if you read this: thank you, Midge.

5) Rabbit pen default (August 2022)

9628 downloads (442 hearts; ~4,6% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1305

This was completely @deedee-sims' idea and project! I just hopped in (hah) to help. I'm only hosting it for practicality, as the BHAVs most often need updating, and those are by me.

6) Turn On/Off replacements (July 2021)

8644 downloads (388 hearts; ~4,5% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1470

This post has more notes than any other post of mine, yet it's not even nearly the most downloaded thing I've done. The two don't always go hand in hand.

I've also shared an updated version of these lately in a new post. It's unlikely they'll get the same amount of attention, which on paper doesn't make much sense since it's practically the same thing but done better. But I'm sure everyone knows that the hype and the quality don't always match.

7) Pixelry’s KKB fridge recolors (February 2022)

8147 downloads (329 hearts; ~4% of all downloaders) Post notes: 662

This is such an oddity on this list since it's the only recolor set and the post has fewer notes than the other ones, too. People just (secretly) really like cute fridges, apparently.

8) Crib teeth anim fix (August 2022)

6157 downloads (431 hearts; ~7% of all downloaders) Post notes: 1408

This list is already long enough, but I wanted to show how fast the number starts dropping at this point.

This got posted a day before the bunnies, and I find it funny to think that for about 3000 people it's more pressing to have bunnies in their game than fixing their toddlers dropping teeth while crying lol.

No point in continuing the list forever, but among my most note-gaining Tumblr posts are also:

Puppy/kitten want replacements (October 2022, 1114 notes, 3849 downloads)

Improved biotech station (July 2022, 1110 notes, 3893 downloads)

Camera overhaul mod (January 2024, 1059 notes, 1752 downloads)

Newspaper default (March 2022, 970 notes, 5052 downloads)

While I don't have a real conclusion to offer, it's clear that notes don't always get realized to downloads, and likewise many people download without interacting with posts.

One more thing I'd like to point out is that the percentage of people who hit that SFS heart button seems pretty constant. I feel like it shows that some people just have that habit and some don't, and it's not likely directly related to how much they like the thing.

The amount of SFS hearts that crib teeth anim fix has gotten doesn't follow this pattern lol. It's really not common to see the percentage change even that much.