#it's just not one that aligns with the normal reality and that's what causes problems

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

i can just imagine childe beating the abyss’ will down with a stick whenever it tried to make him take on a new form like it’s a particularly bad dog

genuinely unsure how to answer this ask because on the one hand yes, that's kinda funny and it would indeed be something like that had the abyss essentially come back to him time and time again like 'new form? 😳' and childe would've slapped it away like 'no!!!' like some sort of shitty spam email that lands on your regular inbox without fail, BUT

uh

the abyss only wanted him to take on one form. in cyanide that form was the foul legacy, and to be frank childe did take it. he just refused to remain with that form. and also like- for it to have reached the 'haha the abyss is like an insistent dog' status, it would've had to have been-

not agonizing. like i get the joke but the process of rejecting the abyss' insistence on taking the FL form was not only a one-time process, but also like- nearly cost him his life. so uh.

yeah

[thebreakfastgenie]

https://www.tumblr.com/thebreakfastgenie/766051466520690688/thats-exactly-what-im-hoping-for-too-im-voting

I think a deep flaw in the online left is that they're basically comparing the current far left with a far right wing that's made every effort to entrench themselves for decades by comparison.

They keep mentally thinking that both sides are equal in power, and thus the thing that will clearly help them succeed is the moral purity of their cause.

Except that's not the case at all. Because the reality is that the far right has done far more work to make their hate normalized than the far left has ever done for their beliefs and entrench themselves into actual positions of power, both due to a combination of cruelty being easier, and simply doing far more work by comparison.

The far right has spent years sticking their ilk amongst the populace, from the highest ranking positions to the lowliest high ranking positions possible in order to indoctrinate as many people as possible to their cause.

The far left by contrast has done diddly squat. They're the arrogant punk kid who waltzes in expecting to kick ass and take names and be lauded and praised for it simply because of who they are, while ignoring that either everyone is a neutral bystander who doesn't like grandstanders with more bark than bite, or an ally of the guy they're coming in to sock the face of.

And that's bitten them in the ass time and time again, because while the big evil guy is unpopular, he's also entrenched and just needs to win once to smack the upstart down.

But unlike actual main characters, the far left is so convinced of their righteous superiority that rather than wising up and building a real base of power and catching the far right off guard for a knockout blow, they just keep on throwing themselves over and over again with the same idea expecting different results.

Yeah... I think there's a combination of not understanding how asymmetrical it is and an attitude of "it's not fair!" Like, no it's not, so it goes though. We've watched the far right become so deeply entrenched they've taken over the mainstream conservative party. The right played the long game on the courts and the left was complacent about that for way too long. It's also a huge thing in local elections. The right has paid way more attention to school boards and other positions like sheriff that are elected in many places, even up to state legislatures. Far right candidates winning these elections really helped entrench the far right in addition to the material effects they've had on people's lives.

I think part of the problem is just that electorate is a lot more conservative than the left is willing to admit. There isn't a hidden groundswell of support for the far left. You have to do the work the hard way and a lot of leftists aren't willing to. You know that Contrapoints quote about wanting to "endlessly critique power?" She was right on with that. I think there are elements within the left that romanticize the perpetual struggle. One might say

He refuses to bend, he refuses to crawl And he's always at home with his back to the wall And he's proud of his scars and the battles he's lost And he struggles and bleeds as he hangs on his cross

On the other hand, a lot of voters like the far right and want them to win. They may not like them for rational policy reasons, because a lot of voters don't vote for those reasons (I know, it's maddening, but so it goes) but they like them.

One of the reasons I tend to align myself with liberals rather than leftists is liberals get stuff done. I've seen tangible progress from liberals within my lifetime. There are so many structural advantages favoring the right that it's a huge fight to keep them out of power. We can turn the tide but we have to do the work.

I don't know how much sense I made I'm a little groggy.

[audrinawf]

how to be in the vibration of money and wealth ~

to manifest money you need to be in the vibration of money and wealth. so to better understand this think of vibration as a state of being or feeling - so how do we sustain that state of feeling wealthy for long amounts of times?

but first, what is the feeling of wealth and money? the answer is comfort and security. that is what money is. otherwise money is just paper and numbers on your account.

there’s some exceptions to this such as if you feel afraid and uncomfortable at the thought of money - in that case you have a messed up relationship with money cause money is not status, money is not good or bad it’s just security and comfort. money doesn’t change you as a person, it doesn’t make you a good or bad person it only makes you more secure and comfortable. anything other than that is an underlying limiting belief.

so if you have a relatively healthy and normal view of money we can move onto how to manifest money.

now I just filmed a video called the 5 levels of manifesting your desired life and in there I talk about the 5 different levels of mindset/levels one is at when they are manifesting and what I’m about to tell you is solid level 3 advice so if you’re at level 0-2 this will be hard to believe but bare with me.

you need to do whatever activity that makes you feel comfort and security. so if that means you have to watch Netflix than so be it. it sounds wacky if you’re at level 1 thinking where you’re beliefs are that to make money you need to work hard or that nothing comes easy then this simply isn’t your reality but let me tell you why you should be listening to what I’m saying.

when you do the things that make you happy even when it’s something as easy as watching Netflix or engaging in your hobbies you feel good and to manifest money you need to sustain that feeling of feeling good for longer periods of time. but also it’s important to remember that what feels good to you might differ from what feels good to me. if you have a girl boss / grind mindset PERHAPS you feel stressed by just watching tv. the solution to that problem is to change your thought patterns and to do that you need to meditate.

but let’s say you are not in survival mode and you can actually enjoy your hobbies then keep doing them. but also remember to practice common sense. personally I love watching TikTok’s cause they inspire me but I also know that me watching TikToks for hours while I neglect my hygiene and personal responsibilities is not going to make me feel good. there’s a balance one has to maintain with this practice.

so just keep doing those self care activities and spoil yourself as much as possible and SUSTAIN that feeling for as long as possible! keep the momentum going once you get the momentum going you align yourself with ideas and opportunities that will lead to money. at this point you don’t need to know how you’ll receive the money just know that if you keep being in flow for as long as possible that you’ll receive money and remember to remove any attachments and set beliefs on how you should receive money.

[thevirgodoll]

A Rant on Friendships.

You know… ever since I learned that being ignored or ostracized caused the same amount of pain in the brain as physical pain, it all clicked. I was never too emotional or overreacting to getting left behind by people I would’ve done everything for. I was grieving a loss. I was grieving having love exploding inside of me with no release.

As someone who prioritizes conflict resolution, I can’t fathom a life where extreme avoidance is the default. While I go through periods of isolation, I go out of my way to affirm everyone and make them feel safe. I can’t possibly understand doing otherwise. Maybe, it’s not something for me to understand.

If it was a romantic partner treating them this way, they’d throw a fit. Love them one day, hate them the next. And that’s the problem… we have normalized that behavior and called it a boundary. That’s not the definition of setting a boundary. Stonewalling is literally emotional abuse. A boundary involves reciprocal behavior, not punishment.

There’s such a selfish, lackadaisical approach everyone has with each other in friendships. These types of people are the first to complain about lacking friends, but don’t want to do the work to upkeep them.

Because I go through hell in my life by being disabled, I find it to be no excuse at this point. I find some way to stay afloat for everyone else, even when I’m drowning. I say these friendship sentiments often, but it’s getting to the point to where I don’t even want to try anymore. I am tired. I’m done overextending myself or waiting for things to change or for someone to recognize my story and just…be present.

The horrors are immeasurable, but we must endure. Therapy has taught me to prioritize vulnerability… so when I display that, and don’t get it back, I’ve learned to just understand I can’t have someone like that in my space. In my healing process, it’s become apparent that I have to see actions for what they are. I can’t control everything. I have to value myself even when someone else devalues me. It’s not personal, it’s misdirection… it’s projection.

When someone is blinded by their own cynicism and insecurities, it’s easy to maintain bias and mindset fallacies. It's easy to be committed to a narrative that doesn't exist. It's easy to perceive what you want to. But like I always say, perception is truly not reality. Knowing that is the only way to tear down your ego enough to navigate friendships and relationships when it comes to conflict resolution.

Recognizing patterns is a huge key to self development and growth, not just creating a self care routine or wearing a face mask or making a Pinterest board. Accountability is the step to mindfulness. Wisdom comes in admitting you don’t know what you don’t know.

And that requires a skill set that so many people are unwilling to have and refine. Admitting you’re the problem means facing yourself. People would rather turn their back than look in the mirror.

I do not wish to entertain dynamics where I don’t feel the love, where I feel like I’m taking up too much space, where I have to chase someone to even get half of what I’d give them.

Some people don’t have the capacity to be what I need them to be, and I have to learn to be okay with that. And even still, I have the upmost respect and deep love anyway.

I can vouch for my own character. I don’t need anyone to validate it for me. If someone wants to go choose rocks when they have a Diamond in front of them, then so be it. That’s their L to take. Not mine.

All love. Grateful for what is in alignment.

[pommunist]

Going off of this one anon that said something about never working in a real environment... first of all, that anon spoke nothing but truths and I totally agree with everything they said. Now what I wanted to say was to your response, line by line.

"Fact is that we’re almost two months after things went public and these signs are nowhere to be seen." Firstly, multiple CCs have said changes have been done behind the scenes and trust in the process. We won't see these changes, because we aren't working internally. This makes sense.

"I think it’s not abnormal to want to be sure these things aren’t happening anymore before they continue supporting it" There is no proof of things being this way. As a matter of fact, the admins that we know of that are still on the project, are enjoying their time and making changes of going back to normal. Most of the statements of mistreatment come from people who worked months ago, before this was made public. Currently, the fact that things are slowly returning to normal, is a very good sign. This means that things are stabilizing behind the scenes.

"Voicing criticism can also be a way to try to avoid problems being swept under the rug as it had been until Léa shared her experience" This is also true, you are correct. However, there is nothing new to be talked about. This is like beating a dead horse. We know the treatment was bad. We know the conditions were horrible. However, now it's being fixed and worked upon. This we know is the case now. Therefore, talking about old subjects eventually gets tiring for everyone involved and stops being productive. At this point, it's just public venting.

"as long as it’s with respect of everyone involved." This is entirely true. Except nobody respects Q in all of this. Nobody extends this respect to Q, who also got taken advantage of. It is unfair for him as well and nobody is defending him. If people do defend him, then suddenly they're harassed, they don't care about workers rights, etc. and it's what's causing this divide now. Nobody can defend Q -not even CCs, anymore - without getting treated like shit. Look what happened with Tubbo, who gets treated like a child who doesn't know anything. Look at Missa, who felt personally hurt by attacks made on Q. He wasn't even involved and he felt horrible about it all. Everyone who says "respect everyone involved" ends up not extending that respect to Q. I am not implying that you personally attack Q, but I have seen several people who say this exact line, then go to attack Q. Tweets calling Q white, posting his address, his phone number, full name, etc. get thousands of likes. And people saying "hey this is weird" end up getting swarmed.

"And people keep being angry because they keep hoping for the project to improve, without getting signs it will." The issue here is that we have gotten signs. From the admins making their projects on the QSMP, from CCs talking about their good experiences, those are all good signs. But nobody takes those good signs as truth, for some reason. We have been getting these good signs but they're brushed off as "they don't know everything" or "this isn't what I wanted to see" which is parasocial as hell. I don't know how to put it any other way but it's insanely parasocial to demand to see such specific changes from the QSMP. It doesn't align with what you think should be done. You don't even know what's going on behind the scenes, like, at all. Anyone on Twitter making "new" statements are all from people who aren't even in the project anymore. Because these are coming out now, people have this false impression that nothing changes. When in reality, nobody knows what's going on right now except those still involved. Like Pierre, like Phil. Who both know more than you or I ever will. And it should stay that way. I don't want to know the extent of what either of them know. Because it should stay confidential. I, as a viewer, shouldn't even know half of this. I shouldn't ever know this unless I am a worker there. This wasn't even intended to be made public, it never should have been. This was going to be handled already. Pierre and Q both said that they were planning on dealing with this. This was made public for zero reason. The truth is, complaining isn't going to get anyone anywhere. It's like trying to clean up a mess and you have someone in your ear complaining about how long it's taking you to clean despite you trying your damn hardest to clean.

To end this statement off, I do not intend for this to be some kind of attack on you personally. It isn't an attack at all, to be quite frank, this is moreso to the arguments you presented that I have seen splayed across Twitter, Tumblr, anywhere. I truly think this constant complaining and constant detail-orientation is getting nobody anywhere. All this is doing is just distracting from the big picture:

Q put someone in charge of a project, whom he falsely trusted.

As a result of this, for about a year, this person created horrible working conditions and used their position of power to hide most of this (or the full gravity of the situation) from Q.

Q was made aware of this, and was planning the proper steps to deal with this privately.

However, this was made public for no real reason, and now he has to deal with this while dealing with the public eye, misinformation, and also privately too.

Due to people leaving and leaking certain details, he cannot be as transparent as he wants to be.

He is also dealing with legal cases which prohibit how much he can say, also limiting which people can get the information he can say.

Although the operations within QSMP are slightly turbulent, things are being done slowly to stabilize them, which includes garnering funds to pay back the people who were exploited and insufficiently paid.

That's the entire story. People are so wrapped up in details that they forget everything that led to this. Again, this wasn't directed specifically towards you, I have nothing against you. But some arguments you presented have their counterarguments as well and I wanted to present them.

man what an ask to wake up to after opening tumblr at 7am uh

First link to the post you’re referring to anon because I still stand with everything I said AND might repeat some of it here :

-I’m glad some ccs have said things are moving behind the scenes, I’m not doubting their words. However I don’t make my personal opinion based on what a cc says. There is nothing wrong with withholding support to a project until there is any concrete indication that things are solved. Already pissed I did so for almost a year, won’t make the mistake twice !

-There was no proof of things being bad for 10 months before admins came out with their stories, we trusted that they were being treated fairly because there was no reason to think otherwise, look where that got us. "Most of the statements of mistreatment come from people who worked months ago" well not only do we know that there are admins who are still within the project that are not being communicated with, but maybe the reason most statements come from people who used to work for Qstudios is because since then at least 50 people have been fired/had to quit ?

-"At this point it’s just public venting" Yes, maybe, and ? People who are angry about this don’t owe patience, productivity or anything to the QSMP. I would argue that Qstudios could fix everything perfectly overnight and people would still be allowed to be angry that it even happened.

-About Quackity I’m not sure I see your point here because obviously it’s stupid to go harass, insult, threaten him or anything close to that. It’s different from actual criticism about his actions and negligence. I can have no respect towards his work as a company owner while also believe he deserves basic human decency ?

Let’s not forget that yes, he might have been fucked over by that One admin, but also the repeated mistreatments over months was made possible because neither Quackity nor anyone else was keeping an eye on what was going on behind the scenes.

-Once again, ccs talked positively about it before, admins were doing projects before, and yet things were shit. When I say signs of things improving I mean ex admins being contacted, statements that those still working are doing so with an actual legal framing and protection.

It is not parasocial to ask that a company upholds workers rights and have something to show they’re doing so. Wouldn’t that make the goddamn union parasocial ? 😭

And I’m glad if some of the admins still currently working are able to do so in the right conditions, obviously not wishing for more people to be mistreated. Doesn’t change the fact that those who have been have not seen any improvement of their situation. Plus we know that even before everything came out, not everyone was treated the same.

Again, this was not made public for zero reason. It was made public as attempts from the admins at solving it internally had been met with silence.

Complaining does get you somewhere. Admins complaining and people using their voices to shine light on their statements and the issues they raised got that Quackity talked about it and started to make changes. Complaining about and withholding support from a company do hold them accountable to a certain extent, and push them to improve the work conditions. Workplace abuse thrives under silence and people keeping their mouth shut.

To reuse your metaphor about cleaning : If you break a glass and start cleaning the shards, people can still point that the glass is broken, and they can still complain about the cleaning if you’re doing a sloppy job at it.

About your recap of events, I have already talked about some points but also :

-The "leak" argument just has to stop for real. Not only it is incredibly inaccurate to use that word to talk about admins sharing what they went through, if you truly want to fix stuff you shouldn’t care first about your actions being revealed.

-Any admins who are to ask about fair payment shouldn’t have to wait until enough merch is sold or whatever. As a victim you shouldn’t have to be patient with the company and wait for them to get their shit together before you start getting some consideration.

tldr i guess : Cool that you’re able to fully trust a company that is responsible for unlawful treatment of their workers for months based on Quackity saying "don’t worry guys things are changing", but not me tho !

[renaissancewoodsman]

Add Extra Moons to Your World

The Elder Scrolls has great lore. Sure, Todd has homogenized it a lot lately, really went all in on some pretty generic western fantasy tropes. But the older stuff, with broader influences, was great. Like, they’ve got four moons, and they’re all corpses, and also infinite planes in their own right. Plus that one asteroid Vivec froze above Vivec.

Physical Moons

Sometimes a moon is just a big rock floating around another, bigger rock. The classic moon. Can’t go wrong with one to twelve of these.

You can have moons with wildly elliptical orbits that seem to grow in size in the sky as they approach their nadir, and shrink to a small dot at their zenith. 

Of course, your denizens don’t have to know how all this actually works, and that the moon is a big rock. They could have all sorts of myths about why the moons come and go, grow and shrink, and turn through phases.

Reverse Moons

Sometimes your home planet is just a big rock floating around another, bigger planet. Sometimes… you’re the moon. In these scenarios, the planet looms large in the sky, but it rises and sets and has phases just like our moon.

This also introduces the possibility of intermittent visitors in the night sky. The other moons of that planet can have varied orbital periods and trajectories that only align with yours occasionally. Don’t worry about doing the orbital math (Unless that’s your particular brand of worldbuilding insanity, of course), just pick a schedule. 

Magic Moons

Your fantastical realm does not need to be an oblate spheroid orbiting a star. It can be an endless plane or a disk on the back of four elephants on the back of a turtle.

Either way, your moons do not need to be physical entities either. Or at least not normal ones.

Non-orbital Objects. The moon could be a large sphere or other object, but it need not be driven by orbital mechanics. Perhaps its placement is controlled by a grand orrery, or dragged by divine horses through the sky. 

This can give your moons less realistic periods. Perhaps there is a moon that rises at the start of winter and sets at the end. Perhaps there is a moon that only rises on nights after great and bloody battles. Perhaps there is a moon that only rises over Ohio.

Portals. A moon need only appear to be a circular disk moving through the sky. A circular portal facing the planet would appear similarly. 

Unknowable Things. Like in the Elder Scrolls, perhaps what you see as a moon is some vast unknowable thing. Your mind perceives it as a moon because it is not equipped to observe reality.

Projection. A moon-like visage in the sky could be illusory, or the visual consequence of something else, like a great spirit walking the earth below it.

Construct. Okay, I have to get this out of the way

That’s no moon, that’s a space station

Maybe it was built by ancient star elves. It could be a magical construct or a technological one. 

Tides, and Other Problems Caused by Moons

The moon on earth controls tidal forces, as they stretch the ocean into an oval shape. High tide is when the moon is directly above you, or directly opposite. 

If you have multiple moons, you’d have more complex tides. I won’t go fully into it, the highest and lowest tides would occur when the moons are aligned. The largest body would be the most impactful, of course. 

You also must consider light at night. If your moons reflect or generate light, each is an opportunity to brighten the darkness.

Eclipses and occlusions become more common too. One moon blocking another, or the sun. Or the shadow of the planet covering a moon. Remember that most moons are far too small to cause a total eclipse! Earth’s moon is weirdly big.

Calendars. Historical calendars were often based on the phases of the moon. A world with multiple moons may have multiple calendars. Different religious occasions associated with different moons may be tracked on different calendars.

Perhaps a unified calendar would be centered on lunar alignment. The “new year” would occur on the day all the moons lined up. This way, each year would have the same cycles of moon phases, however long that took.

Werewolves, and Even More Problems Caused by Moons

The moon is associated with many mythical things, most famously where I’m from being the werewolf. But also many magical traditions, both historical and fantastical, key off the phases of the moon. It could get even wilder with more moons.

You can give each moon a magical association. Certain traditions are powerful when the associated moon is full. Conjunctions and alignments could be days of major power.

You could have a creature that, like the werewolf, is associated with moon phases. For example, The Lunpine.

Lunpine. This creature exists on a world with two moons. On most days, this appears to be a normal fox. When Parnal is full (Once every 18 days), it transforms into a human, and uses this disguise to trade and its thumbs to build a nest. When Boke is full (Once every 35 days), it transforms into a whale-like creature and fishes up shiny treasures from the ocean floor. When the two moons are aligned every two years or so, it reproduces. It eats and eats and eats and then splits into two. Each half looks sort of like the original, and has half the memories. If it doesn’t have enough food, it transforms into a giant ravenous beast and attacks nearby livestock.

Also, I have been running a wordpress blog for like six years now, so if you like this sort of thing you can peruse the whole backlog there.

[questionablepastries]

large vent

tw: suicidal ideation

I need to type this out for my own sanity. But also the entire purpose is on the off chance that someone reads this and, in some way, relates to what I'm experiencing. Not the entirety of it, but a part of it, would be enough for me to justify sharing my experiences. Normally, I would have written this out in a diary but something tells me that by sharing it and letting people they are not alone would be more beneficial than keeping this to myself. To preface everything, these are first world problems. All of this spiraling - ok first off my behavior towards what is really the most minor of all triggers is annoyingly blown over. All that happened was that someone i thought i could have befriended more given time and more chats- just one day decided i wasnt worth being (and i hate typing this) mutuals with.

What made me laugh was the idea of describing my lil hissy fit emotional tantrum to my boomer absolutely not online coworkers and they would all most likely laugh about it. But the more i thought about losing this mutual, the question i kept going back to was why? why was i blowing this out of proportion? what even caused this big of a reaction in me? well first off, i was really riding on the hope to get to know them better. i really wanted to be friends with them. the great thing about online friendships is that it eliminates any barriers that would be present if someone tried to make friends with you in person. you dont worry about smelling bad, looking weird, stuttering, bad posture, etc. so truly i was thinking if our interests aligned enough and we cracked some jokes we had something, that could blossom into something cool. instead it didnt and they just dropped me entirely out of nowhere, and me being my silly self thinks somehow its my fault.

honestly though im sure they were going through something - like they would constantly post about wanting ppl to unfollow them and me going oh that cant be about me surely, nah it was most definitely about me. i cant nail down what it was though, did i not reach out enough? did i joke too much? was i too little was i too much. unfortunately, with the lack of a physical barrier im taking this as a personal fault that I Really messed something up. Something about me as a person is inherently undesirable and therefore not worth putting in the time or effort to talk to -- there must have been something off about me for this to have played out the way it did, right? I keep running scenarios in my head like oh what if i reached out more, or what if i responded in a different way that one time -- as if it can change the outcome of what has happened but. all of this. all of this emotional self inflicting stupid reaction im having stems from my own struggles in real life to make friends. this has been a running trend all my 28 years (yeah 28!) and.. to bring myself back to reality and to keep my emotions from spilling over. I came up with a good strategy.

I always ground myself by saying to myself in a silly voice as if one would calm down a pet "are you punishing yourself for having become the person you are today due to your shitty environment/upbringing that you had no control over" and "are you punishing yourself for factors out of your control Again? eye roll come on now" and thats literally how ive been grounding myself this entire time whenever i get really uncomfortable with how i am as a person in real life. and yeah honestly my upbringing sucks ass it sucks soooo much. i have no extended family and it has never been more obvious since i became conscious as a toddler to this day that my extended family on both sides absolutely does not give a shit about me nor my immediate family. my immediate family being my mom and my sister. my mom and my sister are my ONLY family. side note and i mean this semi-jokingly: if you have a family fuck you. when my coworkers talk about their uncles or their aunts or their grandparents or how they were raised by their grandparents or how they hung out with their cousins and how they went on vacations, or how they spent time with their dad. i feel this massive vacancy in my heart that is a placeholder of what i want so desperately to have happened. i feel like those scenarios they describe to me are just not possible, families only exist on tv shows, and christmas specials, thats not a real thing. it has never been a reality for me. unrelatable. all of it. and as a first generation child from immigrants (lets not even get into my dad we havent spoken to him in over a decade) my only memories are of food stamps, being smelly in school because my mom could literally not afford the time to take care of me or afford a baby sitter, my stuttering, my inability to join extracurricular activities due to money, all of it added up to my ostracization throughout the entirety of my school years.

& as a child on welfare it was very much drilled into me that the only escape from poverty is through education and i took that very seriously. im a fucking scientist now i passed the national exam to get where i am. where i failed socially didnt matter to me back then as long as i had good grades, grades were All that mattered to me. and i succeeded. but not without some draw backs. ive always been an awkward person. i have a couple of friends few and far between in person. its literally three people that i keep in contact with in real life and i am extremely grateful that they reach out to me but its also like. i gotta do better lol one of them forgot my birthday this year and the other one only texted me 'birth' on my birthday, the last one he's a keeper - we're basically brothers and he always checks in on me, but he doesnt live in the same state as me. so all of that is to say. When this person broke mutuals it kind of made me, or rather for my own sanity, seriously re-evaluate my relationship with how i spend my free time, and who and what exactly am i placing value in. this person absolutely does not care about me and i dont expect them to. and given what little we had in terms of an online friendship i guess i let my hope of a cool friendship with them blind me to the reality of what we actually had. time and time again i have placed more hope and love into online individuals that do not reciprocate - and usually they just drop the ball on me. which is like ok. im sure i was either too little or too much i can never accurately gauge how intense i am due to, you know, Lack of Real Life Experience. oh right the suicide thing, so like for the longest time i struggled with suicidal idealization - it only stopped until i graduated about two years ago. In my pre-teens to late teens i told myself that if i was in the same scenario where my mom and my sister are my only family but we were well off i would definitely have killed myself.

I decided as a pre-teen that my only worth was how high i could get into my academics in order to lift my mom out of poverty. that was the Singular Only driving factor that kept me alive. kinda. damn that sucks to write out lol but its true! that was my mantra back then and i would repeat it anytime something shitty happened to me or someone was mean to me. im not sure where im going with this. i just wanted to get it out there, that i was and still am very lonely in person, and whats funny is that im not even like ugly im just average, i hung out with my sister and dolled myself up a bit for my birthday and we went to the mall and three guys hit on me unprompted so its definitely not a looks thing - SPEAKING OF when i got into uni and moved into an apartment with four roomates i was like this is my YEAR, im gonna go out SO MUCH im gonna walk around campus im gonna go out late and do school clubs!! and then covid happened. the apartment lease was worthless. i stayed indoors exactly the same amount as i always did only this time it was justified, but it sucked because that was the time i had decided i was going to break my cycle of staying inside holy shit that fucking sucked. and then my senior year of college i didnt need to stay in an apartment anymore because i was required to be in a hospital four days out of the week for training so i ended up back at my moms. i think there is something wrong w me tho bc im not saying it was being poor that led to me being awkward. but it didnt help, and im gonna go ahead and blame my lack of a support group - family wise, my entire life, on how uh. i came out. lately im trying to reel back how blunt i am. which. uh. hmm. i actually have a large language barrier with my mom. somehow i picked up on understanding spanish but not speaking it perfectly, it improved, im way better at speaking it now.

but i could hardly communicate with my mom while growing up, and she never expressed interests in my hobbies or who i was as a person, to this day i am and will forever be a 7 year old toddler in her eyes. she still shows no interest in me as a person or who i am. which is fine with me, ive accepted that she wont change, because she grew up in a more messed up environment and this entire time only until Recently, she had been on breadwinner providing for my two daughters survival mode. um. so , like i mentioned. that person breaking mutuals just shone a light on how, broken i am as a person? you would think, without physical barriers the sky is the limit when it comes to befriending people but no i still struggle i cant do anything right i suppose. i just need to focus on improving my life outside of online spaces. people online will reach out of they want to and can so im trying to lessen my hopes in general. and um. idk im at a loss for words currently. i simply dont know where to begin when it comes to , anything? living? hmm. i only just escaped school so i feel like i can breath - air for once. im no longer under the scary pressure of - if i fail at school im better off dead- ohh i think i know what i can add - offline people are WEIRD. ive had a couple of hiccups with friends irl that i literally dont talk to anymore! one of them became a misogynist red pill guy, another guy kept trying to touch me every time we hung out! and the last guy kept telling me to fuck off when i asked how he was doing!! hmmm. yeah this is just circling back to my current mantra which is to not be overly mean to myself for how i am currently due to my , situations leading up to now. I DONT KNOW. here's hoping..!! something !! anything is nice to me!! ohhhh i remembered something else. recently my coworker exchanged numbers w me saying something about haning out with other coworkers in the future. i am so desperately trying not to get my hopes too high up. always happens tho!!!!!!!! i get my hopes up when it comes to making friends both offline and online!!!!!! and guess what keeps happening again and again!!! HAHA………..can i have hope this time??? do u know once i tried reaching out to a mutual i wanted to befriend and get closer to (we were calling each other friends by this point) on Three Separate Platforms i knew they were active on only for them to Not respond to Anything i sent? AND i didnt even reach out three times in a row I Spaced It Out like a Normal Person. Only for Them to Tell me how they were having Fun in Their Friend Group of Other Online People talking about our Mutual Interests. Do you know how fucking stupid i felt at that moment. Oh im sorry am i not cool enough to be invited to that. Am i too stupid what is it about me thats so repellent??

I know its common courtesy to not be straight to people and tell them whats wrong with them but damn i wish someone would be straight with me and Not leave me hanging UGH. I realized at that moment tho that I never wanted to BE that desperate EVER AGAIN. I felt like such a stupid asshole holy shit. I never want to be that desperate for some onlines person attention ever again oh my god,, i dont think ill ever forgive them for that. its all on me though!!!!!!!!! mY FAULT!!!!!!!, for placing Value and i guess getting my Hopes up that i could make friends again WHOOPSIES i forgot im fuckin uhhh Ultra stinko Stupid Bitch who cant maintain any sort of relationship!!! back to the ditch on the side of the road i go to drink my stupid pond water like the unlovable unwarranted piece of shit nobody wants to hang out with again!!!!!!!! MY BAD!!!!!!! SO SORRY TO BOTHER. well its whatever i got money now, i have a job. and as much as i would like to say well earning money is all that matters right? its not. im a greedy greedy jealous little sniveling BITCH and my heart will never stop yearning for what others take for Granted. SO YEAH LOL. this has felt great to type out!! if you relate to any of that...um... Im sorry!!!!! we all in this together. but maybe not really im just gonna be kept at arms length with literally anyone i try to befriend offline due to me bein a little weirdo who cant relate to anything haaa,,, i want to end this on a positive note but fuck that! This is where im currently at and this is my current predicament! Will it improve? sure if i put some effort into myself and spend less time online and stop putting rakes on the ground to step on. i literally set myself up for getting hurt everytime ill figure out a way to make the pain hurt less.

[cosmichighpriestess]

Dear readers, welcome to our message.

Know that many in the higher dimensions are observing and guiding during these times of change and confusion. Know that you are never alone and are greatly admired for your courage and strength in choosing to become part of earth's ascension process in order to bring forth a more enlightened collective consciousness.

Everything on every level of ordinary life is changing because collective consciousness is changing. This is effecting those awake as well as those who are not with regard to familiar holiday rituals and celebration. Because consciousness is the substance of form, you may be experiencing a sense of inner confusion and lack of excitement with regard to the Christmas or Hanuka traditions, beliefs, and concepts you previously loved and engaged whole heartily in. 

In spite of this, many are attempting to keep familiar holiday rituals firmly locked in place in the belief that this will make everything feel "normal" again. Fear drives resistance to change. Retail markets fear financial loss and so continue to promote gift buying as being equal to love. Media outlets play loud holiday music and televisions rerun emotional holiday films.  

If these things no longer resonate with you or fail to put you in a holiday mood, understand that you have not suddenly become a "Grinch" but rather it is that your energetic signature is no longer in alignment with many things that resonate with old energy. As you spiritually evolve, many of the traditions you grew up with or celebrate with family, friends, or some special group during the year not just at Christmas, will automatically begin to feel less important or fulfilling.

This can cause problems in families or among friends who remain committed to the importance of continuing holiday traditions exactly has they always have. As with all things in life, do not resist or make a big scene regarding family celebrations, gift exchanges, or traditions but rather lovingly participate as you choose, while holding your highest truth and using these occasions to practice knowing the truth about those around you.  

Do not endow activities you not longer fully embrace with power. Never believe that your participation in some family tradition that is important to others will effect your attained state of consciousness or separate you from who and what you are. However, you always have free will to choose. Never allow yourself to be bullied into doing something but when you make a choice that may be confusing to others do it with love and respect to their beliefs. 

Allow the process to unfold dear ones, both within and without and accept that things will never again be exactly as they once were because the energy of collective consciousness has changed and it is because of you, which is your purpose for being on earth at this time. Everyone waking up to or holding truth in consciousness is automatically adding Light to the collective.  

There is much to come and much has already taken place that you are as of yet unaware of causing you to believe that nothing is happening. Do your work, go about your business, carry on with the ordinary activities that life presents awhile acknowledging the reality of who you and those around you are. In the midst of every personal and global crisis hold firmly to the fact that you and every person on earth is an expression of Divine Source/God and as such embody all that IT is. 

The process of spiritual evolution as done through third dimensional energy is one in which the experiences of many lifetimes serve to eventually open and push a person's state of consciousness to where they are able to translate human thought and experiences into their higher truth until at a certain point the truths that they have been practicing, pondering, and living become an attained state of consciousness and begin to manifest on all levels as the person.  

Examples of translating appearances--"I feel pain, but I know that God knows nothing about pain and never formed ITself as pain. I am broke but I know that the reality of my being is self sustaining and self maintaining Divine Consciousness which is infinitely compete and whole. I have no friends, partner, lover, etc. but I realize that since God is ONE, I can never be separate from the companionship of the ONE expressing Itself as the many. I have no home, but I know that I can never be separate from my perfect home which is Divine Consciousness." 

These are only a few examples of how to translate the outer scene into the truth as you go about your daily life. It takes practice because even though in reality time does not exist, in the third dimension everything works in time.  

There comes to every spiritual seeker a cross road at which they must decide if they want to live the truth they know or continue relegating what they have learned to conversation with metaphysical students in ever more classes, or at the dinner table. It is much easier to go along with collective thinking on just about all topics and yet at a certain point most find that their spiritual awareness no longer allows them to completely relax and enjoy engaging in collective thought with others.  

For most of you the period of time in which you could decide to live or not live truth is over because like it or not, the evolving energy of earth is bringing everyone to where they no longer resonate with much that they previously perfectly aligned with--certain foods, entertainments, books, groups, friends, jobs, beliefs etc. At a certain point every evolving soul simply begins to live the higher frequencies because they have integrated them into their energy field which is the goal of the evolutionary process.

What makes this ascension process unusual and is causing it to be of such interest to those of other planets is that you are going through the ascension process in your material bodies rather than having to die first. 

Your true and eternal body is one of Light. This real body is always fully present even though you entertain a material concept of it. As consciousness evolves and you are able to more fully to realize this, the Light body will begin to increasingly manifest as and through the material sense of body. Just as you are abundance, completeness, wholeness, intelligence etc, you are the perfect Divine Idea body, a body that knows no flaws, deformity, disease, or pain. This real body is God individualized and you can never lose it because it is you being an expression of God. It is what leaves the material concept of body at the time of death.  

We have often told the true story of Christmas but will do it once again for those who are not aware of the deeper meaning of Christmas as well as for those who need a reminder. Christmas is not one man's story but is every person's story as interpreted through human thinking as Christmas.

The Birth of the Christ (Light Consciousness) is the story of every soul's spiritual awakening which usually manifests in times of duress or loss of material good (stable) because the birth of individual Christ consciousness cannot take place in a consciousness already filled with ego and false beliefs (no room at the Inn). The birth of Christ consciousness is easily recognized by those of higher spiritual consciousness who at this point step in to assist the fragile new awakened state of consciousness with gifts of support, strength, understanding, and knowledge--(the three kings).  

Those of a lower resonance (Herod) always fear and feel threatened in the presence of Christ Light and seek to kill or eliminate it any way they can (law, propaganda, societal pressure) and so the newly born and not yet fully developed state of consciousness must for a period of time be kept secret and hidden in order for it be safe as it grows into a strong and highly evolved state of consciousness--the Christ. 

Those seeking to eliminate truth can only eternally fail for Truth is a Reality that can be hidden, ignored, and denied but never changed, removed, or effected in any way.  

Sending you love, light, and recognition during this celebratory time.

We are the Arcturian Group.

[fleursetrebellion]

Adding for those who want to know more of the orbital dynamics here. They're actually wrong that gravity on Zoozve is primarily from the Sun and just slightly from Venus. The reality is much weirder!

So to review normal 2 body orbits, where one object is orbiting another object, you have 2 things balancing to keep something in orbit. There's the gravitational force, pulling the bodies towards each other, and there's the relative velocity of the planet circling the sun.

So like obvi gravity pulls the planet toward the sun like something sliding down into a funnel. BUT Venus is also flying 78.3 km/s around the funnel. So it is sliding into the funnel, but there's also always a certain portion of that 78.3 km/s that's climbing up the side. You probably know that force which pushes away from gravity as the "centrifugal force".

So it's being pulled in by gravity, but pushed out by inertia. So instead it spirals around the funnel. Like one of these things:

(Note: We do call the part of inertia which pulls a planet away from the sun the "Centrifugal Force", but it's not technically like a real force. I do know it's just interia wanting to go in a straight line, since that's what inertia does. And the straight line necessarily drifts away from the circle, causing it to pull outwards against gravity. But who cares tbh, I'll keep saying centrifugal force because you're not my dad.)

So but like, if you we think of gravity as a funnel and imagine falling down the funnel, could we think of centrifugal force as a shape that we slide down too? Like if we "lock" the velocity of the planet at one specific speed, and imagine the planet orbiting at different distances from the sun, we can see that interia will always make the planet slide outward down the dome.

But what if we can combine this new centrifugal dome with the gravity funnel? We could pick any point in space and ask, if Venus was here but still orbiting at 78.3 m/s, what direction will it slide? Inward down the funnel or outwards down the dome? That combined shape looks like this:

Amazing right? At our "locked" velocity, we can see exactly how our orbit will change at every point in space. That middle hole is the sun of course, it's the bottom of the funnel, and Venus orbits right at the highest point of this weird shape!

But wait. That's just a 2 body orbit, just Venus and the Sun. What about Zoozve? That's our 3rd body. What would happen if we do a similar shape to show how Zoozve's orbit will slide in relation to both the Sun and Venus?

Okay, weirdly complicated. What are those L1 - L5 dots? Welllll, those are a special area in space called a Lagrange Point. That's the place where there's exactly equal force from Sun gravity, Planet gravity, and from the "centrifugal force" of our locked velocity. On the above shape, they're the exact top of a hill, or the middle of a saddle shape. You can even "balance" a satellite on one of those spots, making it stay in the same spot in space forever, though it's about as hard as balancing an egg on its end while you're also like 400,000km away from the egg, and the egg is also invisible. So it's basically impossible.

This all is known as the circular restricted 3 body problem. It's part of what makes the math in rocket science SO complicated!

But these shapes I keep showing, y'know, they're 3d shapes, but they're actually using the height of the shape to show like the combined forces on Zoozve. So basically, they're only showing how its orbit would work it it's exactly aligned with the Venus's orbit, not above or below it. But if it were, for example, below or above Venus's L2 point, its combined gravity and centrifugal force would still make it roll "down the saddle" towards the L2 point. The same as if you were to the left or right of it. It's almost like... for Zoozve, it's like the L2 point has its own gravity, even though there's nothing there.

But wait, it acts like it has gravity? So could you... orbit a Lagrange Point? Orbiting nothing feels weird, but you could get around trying to balance the invisible egg, because orbits kind of self correct automatically. (For a certain amount of time at least, until they destabilize.) They're pretty stable for a long time.

Well... yeah, it turns out you can orbit a Lagrange Point! At the L1 and L2 points, that's called a halo orbit! And fun fact, the James Webb Space Telescope is in a halo orbit at the L2 point of the Earth, meaning it orbits an empty point in space that's always on the opposite side of the Earth from the Sun!

Anyway back to Zoozve. Is Zoozve doing a halo orbit? Well, not exactly, but it's a very similar principle. It's just a less symetrical shape. But looking again at the Zoozve orbit, you can see it rocking back and forth around the saddles of the Venus L1 and L2 points!

Quasi Moons always take these irregular orbits. Sometimes it's mostly pulled by the Sun, sometimes more by Venus, sometimes more by its own inertia. But as it dances between these 3 influences, it always stays in a perfect balance between all 3!

P.S. Look at this! My favorite is the horseshoe orbit which looks like this!! Is that not nuts?? 🤯

Zoozve, my beloved

[georgesmith00x2]

Best Chiropractor in Marietta GA

To get the proper chiropractor Benfleet, there are a few clean steps that the individual can take to notably enhance the probabilities of getting a first-rate come upon and fantastic clinical result. It may additionally in reality be simpler initially speaking about the matters no longer to do while looking for a chiropractic specialist. What many individuals do once they first pick to strive chiropractor Benfleet professional is that they appearance in some form of list, which includes the classifieds, their insurance enterprise list, or they Google look for the closest   chiropractic professional. Because the ones new to chiropractor Benfleet do not realise the great variations in strategy and person control concepts among Benfleet chiropractor experts, the preliminary choice of a chiropractic professional normally comes all the way down to worries which include location, insurance coverage, and rate consistent with check out. These are probably the least vital concerns universal in identifying whether a given chiropractic expert goes to be the exceptional option for a given private.

Chiropractor in Marietta GA can help you in decreasing pressure to your body. This may be strain that is inflicting headaches, frame and muscle aches as well. This is likewise one of the motives to go to a chiropractor that such a lot of human beings don’t know approximately. They are struggling with the pressure this is inflicting all varieties of problems that may be controlled via just one or visits to a chiropractor. Things with a view to ensure that your muscle groups are enjoyable. This will make certain which you have a lower hazard of getting cardiovascular diseases while you are older.

Most headaches and migraines are related to pressure, back pain and neck pain. And, it could be hard to deal with, if this begins to get continual. Taking remedy all the time isn’t advocated, because of the facet consequences that remedy will have in your organs.

Thanks to chiropractic care, you'll be able to experience reduced ache from whiplash and ensure that neck and lower back accidents caused by vehicle accidents may be dealt with. Reducing the recuperation time. Making sure that you're going to be again for your normal sports sooner than without going for treatment to Chiropractor in Marietta GA.

Doing studies approximately the extraordinary chiropractors on your place as viable. If you are residing in a small town, you may not be able to locate more than one chiropractor. Or, you might need to go to the nearest metropolis for this form of remedy.

Begin by way of instructing yourself about some of the unique techniques and techniques that chiropractors employ. The exercise of chiropractic medication is based at the precept that the important frame structures are linked to and suffering from the alignment of the spinal column. A very simplistic manner to place its miles that after the spinal column is in the correct alignment and is healthy, then the rest of the body’s structures can also be healthy. To this foundational premise, there are other treatment philosophies and ideologies to influence the modifications and tactics practiced by individual chiropractors. Chiropractors can also be grouped with the aid of distinctiveness; a chiropractor may additionally concentrate on sports injuries or may be geared overall to a family exercise.

5 General Health Benefits of Visiting Chiropractor in Marietta GA:

1) Fewer complications

2) Assist with certain chronic illnesses

3) Prevents the use of painkillers

4) Improves your posture

5) Increase mobility

Babies and younger youngsters are very at risk of ear infections for two reasons. The first reason is that the babies frequently have traumatic births and the start manner can purpose misalignments in a toddler, making the child's immune device weak.

If your infant's backbone changed into misaligned due to the birth method, you could see an improvement in your toddler's health after handiest one or two adjustments. This is due to the fact the child's misalignment is corrected by using the chiropractor, so the baby's immune gadget might be bolstered. A chiropractor is a nicely educated professional who can help alleviate your baby's struggling.

In a case in which your health practitioner does not recognise any chiropractor, you could still hire numerous techniques to discover a licensed and authorized one. To obtain this, make certain which you test out for their club to the Canadian Academy of Manipulative Therapists (CAMT) or the National Association for Chiropractic Medicine (NACS). These are associations of chiropractors who you could consider their participants to be qualified and well skilled to offer this treatment.

[youvegottohelpyourself]

The Hypocrisy of the Dissident "Right"

In my travels across the internet, I’ve come across the /snow/ board on lolcow.farm, a rumormongering hub where petty and spiteful women e-stalk an assortment of characters. Normally, gossip doesn’t really interest me, but one long running thread in particular caught my eye, “Post-Leftcows.” Now, the “post-left” is another group of people I don’t really care about, in fact I go out of my way to not mention them, because, being a bunch of fame whores, mentioning them even disparagingly is giving them exactly what they want and most definitely do not deserve. However, I will go on the record of calling them and their entire sphere a bunch of posers and talentless hacks. Anyway, what interested me about this thread was that “Moldbug” and “dissident right” were mentioned.

In the past, Moldbug would have been a guiding star for me intellectually, but I have since become much less fond of him for various reasons. Still, for all of his faults, Moldbug is a person worth paying attention to, so if something is going on with him I want to know. Unfortunately for me, there’s not much information about him in the thread, but the general dissident right is touched upon. I have a lot of problems with the dissident right, and that is because the dissident right’s most prominent leaders are not actually right wing despite professing right wing beliefs. The defining feature of the right, in my view as a rightist, is that the right aligns itself with reality and has integrity, a consistent set of beliefs. This is opposed to the left which cares more about not violating taboos and maintaining their social status than truth. The left as opposed to the right, frequently engages in hypocrisy almost as a matter of course. Not to say that what is viewed as "the right" today, like the Republican Party (which is hardly right wing) has integrity, because they obviously do not. I speak of the true right which has been dead for at least a century. I'm of the view that there is no real right wing today, aside from a few individuals.

Anyway, operating mostly on Twitter, the dissident right has spread its influence by courting the conservative masses and converting them to its cause. This was primarily done through unbearably trite tweets in which the hypocrisies and double standards of the left were called out over and over again. This worked for quite a while, but in the year 2023 it's quite obvious to all that leftists are hypocritical, so this recruiting strategy has hit the end of its natural life. The strategy is a bit different today. The idea seems to be to court the growing incel demographic (which statistically is actually leftist) and so, every major account now engages in nonstop, comically lopsided misogyny that makes even me, someone on the right, think that they are going too far.

Both of these developments are… quite annoying to me, as the entire intellectual basis of the dissident right movement was reactionary thought which emphasized an elitist aristocratic approach, one that certainly precludes “converting” people to a cause. This focus on quantity coincides more with democracy than monarchy or aristocracy, thus in my view, is a major turn towards leftism. It is actually probably a bit worse than this, as I suspect this shift is not entirely based on a changing ideology but also, just pure greed. Every single major account in the sphere has a grift, whether it be a podcast, book, or substack, so the more followers they accrue the more dollars added to their bank accounts each month.

While I do detest grifting hacks, the biggest problem is the hypocrisy. The entire sphere is full of people whose actions severely conflict with their professed beliefs, the list of hypocrisies is large, we will just focus on one group. A few key beliefs associated with the dissident right:

- That race is real and rooted in biology. - The “white” race, consisting of a collection of European races such as the English, the French, and the Germans is being disprivileged in their ancestral homelands, potentially becoming ethnic minorities in their own countries. - Family formation and marriage are integral for the survival of civilization. - There has been a gradual decline in morality and virtue, most notably sexual morality.

A particularly striking example of one whose actions conflict with the stated beliefs above is Delicious Tacos. Tacos is a sexpat whoremonger and extreme sexual degenerate. His name itself derives from his love of South American women and their “delicious tacos,” though he is also partial to Southeast Asians. Despite being in his 40s, Tacos is unmarried with no children to his name, though I suppose it’s possible he has a few mongrels running around Thailand unbeknownst to him. There are a litany of problems with Tacos, mostly relating to his comments about sexuality, but he has other questionable beliefs. It would really take too much time to cover them, perhaps check the lolcow threads? He has written a novel, essentially autofiction, that is relentlessly shilled on Twitter that I have not read and refuse to read (why read Tacos when I can read Dante?) I assume he is at least a good writer - though it is possible he is just mediocre, like most in the sphere. It is through this book that his presence is justified, if it is justified at all. “He’s an artist! Nobody is perfect!” I may be able to grant that to someone like Sam Hyde, another degenerate pervert, one with a clear—and not astroturfed—genius. Is Tacos really some great artist? His book is just a lurid collection of tales of his own sexual degeneracy. Is this what passes for art today?

I think anyone with a brain can see why someone like Delicious Tacos being such an important figure and above reproach in a “right wing” movement makes absolutely no sense at all. In a proper right wing society, people like him would be anathema to have around and yet today he is one of its leaders. If you view the “dissident right” as just a collection of racist/misogynist leftists it makes sense. Tacos is part of the “ingroup” the special group of grifters who run the show. To attack him is forbidden. His actions don’t matter so long as he mouths the right beliefs and sucks up to the right people.

In the end the only thing that matters are actions. Anyone can repeat a few slogans and say the right things. As mentioned above, I am on the right, I am concerned with the reality of the situation, not about how it might be perceived to attack certain figures. Words are not reality, actions are. This movement has long since been gutted by sociopaths who are right wing in name only, and cynically use their genuinely frustrated and demoralized followers as grifting fuel.

[theambitiouswoman]

SHADOW WORK

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is basically unearthing things that are in our sub-conscious. Tapping into our inner child to resolve our adult obstacles. You don't have to have a traumatic childhood in order to do this. the purpose of shadow work is simply to become a better version of ourselves and rediscover who we truly are, before all of the layers of reality we have created for ourselves.

However you processed any childhood experience, taught you the qualities that you have developed today. There for, if you want to grow and evolve you really need to understand why you aren't where you want to be and what personality traits are either conflicting, or you can improve on.

Shadow work is more about understanding yourself and reprogramming your mind. Obviously healing is a big part of it, but healing isn't always from trauma or experiences that we don't view as inherently bad. Nothing has to be bad. It's about having a deep understanding of our actions.

Are you who/where you want to be? Because even if you don’t have any traumas what’s gotten you where you are is who you are now and to get to another level then we need to evolve and change. Can’t do the same thing and expect different results. Life is all about constant growth. It’s never easy to stay stagnant if we’re not focused on evolving and understanding our personal patterns.

How it works

Essentially, shadow work is just having an honest conversation with yourself. You really have to confront your own feelings. So the more emotionally detached or hardened you are. The more you are scared of your feelings, the harder it is (also most life changing).

So for example a general starting off question would be:

'Do i lack compassion' and your ego self will probably immediately respond: " of course not i'm so compassionate and perfect" but really think about it. There have been times in your life where you haven't been compassionate. We are all human. And as you write about those experiences, you will discover why you weren't compassionate- right or wrong- and how you felt during those times to cause you to not be compassionate- and ultimately, your mind will bring up an early on experience in yourself that exposes you to when you were first put in a situation where you experienced those feelings that caused you to react that way.

With everything, there are always things we do that hurt us, or don't hurt us. and this has everything to do with the intent or feelings behind it that makes all the difference. and we want to work on the ones that were based on negative feelings, or brought out negative feelings in us.

These honest conversations you have, in the form of journaling by answering questions, will first, obviously make you admit to yourself how you really feel, and materialize the problem on paper.

When you do this, it causes a ripple effect in your brain and your mind will start reliving /reminding you situations that aligned (root cause) from whenever x started.

For example, basically all of my adult problems started with my parents. How they treated me and how i felt in certain situations. These things taught me that certain bad behaviors were normal and okay because my parents who love me, exposed me to them. But they were not okay. and caused alot of problems for me growing up. When you are a child, you don't know right wrong left or right. You just know what you are taught.

So when i answer journal prompts, a few days later ill start remembering things from my past. or if a situation arises that's similar- it all of a sudden CLICKS for me in my head. and i'm like okay, this is the issue, and this isn't okay and i need to handle this differently now. Some times its things you "know" but really you just know how you feel. Not why you feel that way, or why its happening.

Doing shadow work has really helped me understood all of these things. Understand whats wrong. and more importantly, forgive myself. For both my consciously bad actions and the ones that i didn't even understand were bad- growing up.

More importantly, it allowed me to heal and become a better woman.

You are not suppose to live permanently hardened by your experiences. Your heart isn't suppose to be cold. Being "strong" is not a flex. You're miserable and lying to yourself. At some point it is your responsibility to forgive yourself, heal and understand what it is about you and all your qualities that allowed you to be in those positions what you need to work on, and figure out what experiences you had early on that shaped you, so you receive new energies and experiences moving forward.

My biggest obstacles were trust and vulnerability so a lot of my personal journey was centered around that- it was also the hardest for me to work through.

But you guys have to really be honest and vulnerable with yourself. Throw the paper away after you journal if you want, but you have to put yourself out there with yourself.

Healing is about learning how to feel a wide variety of emotions + teaching the body how to feel safe in stability or a state of ease.

This is a website i used for journal prompts. There are loads others you can find with a quick google search.

[skusea]

I'm not OP but this post resonated with me, so here's an explanation from my perspective sonce people are interpreting this in bad faith:

Identifying with my disorders denied me my humanity. For example, I used to dance every time I ate, and I never questioned it. I would just shimmy and move whenever I had a meal and it was fine and it caused me no issues. Then I found out I had ADHD. Suddenly, I scrutinized my own behavior. Was this behavior a symptom? This perfectly mundane behavior became part of My Disorder. Even without external judgement, I began judging myself. This was not Normal behavior, it was Disordered behavior. I ended up making myself stop. I stopped doing a lot of things. I denied myself any weirdness to make myself normal. But if you view yourself as your disorder, you can never see yourself as a person, just an animated bundle of symptoms. Neurotypical people are allowed quirks and problems and bad habits without reducing any of it to one innate cause. They are allowed to just be people. We must allow ourselves to see ourselves in the same way. We must allow ourselves to face our struggles without tying them to our identity as disordered. While diagnosis can be a useful tool to identify disabling symptoms and find resources, seeing your diagnosis as your identity can make everything you do inherently deviant/disordered.

I have also experienced other people dismissing my ideas because these align with what they consider disordered thinking. This one guy asked me my opinion on something related to philosophy and then after hearing my opinion, told me I must be autistic. He told me I just didn't understand the point of the question. In reality, I knew full well what I was talking about. I had written about it at length in a philosophy class and the professor had been extremely receptive to my atypical perspective. But this guy (a psychology grad student btw) took my perspective and completely dismissed it because "autistic people tend to think like that." How utterly dehumanizing to me, and to autistic people, for him to chalk up the way I think to autism. To assume that autistic people are just preprogrammed with certain ways of thinking that are "wrong." To attribute anything atypical autistic people might think to their autism rather than their reasoning. Similar things have happened before. I've expressed my thoughts, which I spent a great deal of time considering before voicing, only to be told "oh sweetie, you might want to consider that you're on the spectrum." I internalized that for a long time. I dismissed myself the way others dismissed me. Eventually I realized how shitty that was, and I began to see myself as a person again. It turns out, any ideas I have that challenge social norms get called autistic. For the record, I've never been diagnosed with autism. I used to think about it a lot, but ultimately it does not matter to me whether or not I'm autistic. No one deserves to have their perspectives or experiences dismissed as only symptoms. Your experienced and your thoughts are your own. Anything that questions the norm will be labeled as disordered. You don't have to accept this as true.

We're human first. When people (including yourself) dismiss you—your thoughts, your beliefs, your experiences, your actions—by attributing them to your disorder, don't take it lying down. Question it. Challenge it. Keep in mind that what is labeled as "disordered" is cultural and serves specific interests. If you're really into psychology and you've been getting all your information through that lens, I recommend looking more into sociology. Some excerpts from my old textbook that might be useful to get you started:

my advice to everyone is to stop identifying with your mental illness or disorders. centering your identity around being unwell will inhibit you from reaching a destination where you are well.

[spacemanroger]

Tanaka’s Boyfriend

summary: y/n gets introduced as tanaka’s boyfriend to the volleyball team! with an intimating looking y/n.

author’s note: cypher 4 by bts on full blast man.

paring: tanaka x black male reader.

genre: fluff

word count - 1.3k

for male-aligned readers only.

The bell rings to signal that school is over. Y/N gets up as he was sleeping on the school desk. He wipes the drool in the corner of his mouth, grabbing his bag, and goes to the herd of people zooming out to the classroom door. He yawns in exhaustion. He didn’t get much sleep last night because of Tanaka. 

Tanaka had suddenly brought to Y/N that he wanted him to meet his volleyball team. So, basically his family. 

The statement that Y/N was nervous was just a fraction of what he was feeling. He felt conflicted, excited, and annoyed at Tanaka for telling him the day of, that he wanted him to meet them.

Y/N was mostly scared that Tanaka's friends would even like him with him being intimidating and all.

Y/N usually wore eyeliner, chains, piercings and had a lot of blacks for clothing. He was always quiet and had a resting bitch-face. He didn't have many friends as of that, everyone thought he was scary but, in reality, in Tanaka’s words he was a big softy.

Tanaka and him have been dating for a few months already on the ‘I love you’ stage. It was crazy how he didn’t meet any of Tanaka's friends before all of this.

But he knew why. It was mostly due to his crazy schedule, most of his classes were advance since, he was so smart. 

Him and Tanaka only had one class together but, conveniently, none of Tanaka's friends were there. That was also where Tanaka and him had met and where Y/N confessed.

Y/N goes to the door that was across the hallway, it was where Tanaka’s last class was. Y/N waited there for a few seconds before he heard the loud voice of his boyfriend, “Y/N, my love! I missed you.” 

Tanaka runs up to Y/N with a hug, almost knocking him down in the process. Flustered, Y/N hugs him back. This was a daily thing with them two. Tanaka was crazy about PDA. 

He loved showing Y/N how much he loved him, like giving him random compliments, kissing him randomly, and always trying to touch him.

Whether it's because he’s horny on or, it being a nonsexual touch.

He kisses Y/N's lips softly, holding his waist. He leans backward to Y/N's ear and whispers "How was your day, angel?" Before going back to give Y/N space.

"It was pretty good, I just found out that I have to do a project for the science fair." Y/N huffs. "So that's a bummer."

"Aww, well I can help you if you-." Y/N laughs, not even letting him finish that sentence. He holds a finger to Tanaka's lips to shush him. "God, no thank you. The last time we worked together on a project we barely finished a problem. You kept distracting me with terrible portraits of me."

Tanaka pouts. "Well, that's not my fault I wanted you to see my beautiful art. I'm going to be the next new Picasso, you hear me." Y/N snorts. Holding his left wrist up Tanaka checks the time on his watch. "Alright, I think it's time to go, I don't wanna be late." 

Y/N nods his head, holding Tanaka's hand with his right as Tanaka leads him to the gymnasium. They reach the front door of the gym but, Y/N stops Tanaka from going in by tugging his hand. He shifts his weight from one leg to the other.

Tanaka looks at him from behind. His facial expression goes soft. "What's wrong, angel?" Y/N looks at his feet then at Tanka's hand that holds his tightly. "What if they don't like me?"

"Y/N, they will love you. All you did when we first met is make me smile so, imagine how they would react to you. You are fucking amazing, I'm telling you." Y/N smiles. He brings his gaze to Tanaka's dark eyes, and goes to peck Tanaka's lips. "What was that for?" Y/N's small smile goes wider. "Do you know I love you right."

"Of course I do, who wouldn't?" That causes a groan from Y/N. He flicks Tanaka's forehead with his left hand while scrunching up his nose. "A normal response would be  'I love you too, Y/N' but you even seem to mess that up."

Tanaka laughs, opening the door. They both walk inside. He follows Tanaka from behind like a lost puppy.

Peeking from behind, Y/N could see people sitting in corners talking, an orange-haired boy running away from a tall black-haired boy, and Y/N guessed the manager and coach talking.

Everyone seemed to be in their zone.

Y/N and Tanaka walk forward towards the middle. Tanaka yells a "Yo, everyone!" to grab everyone's attention.

Everyone looks at Y/N in confusion, wondering who was that boy in all black. Y/N tightens his hold onto Tanaka's hand. "Who is this?" The orange-haired person spoke up, he had a big smile on his face, coming to Y/N.

Tanaka replies. "Everyone this is my boyfriend, Y/N. The person I was talking about." That caught everyone's attention, they all swarmed to Y/N. "Wow I didn't think you would be real." The short-haired blonde boy said. 

Y/N blushes at that but, Tanaka took a fake offense. "Wow, your trust in me is breaking my heart." Tanaka places his hand where his heart was for extra effect.

All of them laughed at that excluding the short-haired blonde who just scoffed. 

It was seconds after that a bunch of questions was thrown at Y/N, it was honestly enjoyable for him.

Some of the questions were. "How did you guys meet?"

"When did you guys start dating?"

"Oh my god please tell us who confessed first." Which Tanaka replied with, "Please don't answer that." But, Y/N did anyway.

The team all introduced themselves starting with the orange-haired, Hinata to, Daichi. They had to cut it short as their coach told them they had to start practicing. 

Y/N later socialized with the coach and manager. He had a lot in common with the two. They were talking about something random while Hinata and Tobio were practicing their “power move.” He had no idea what they were talking doing but, it was pretty cool to look at nonetheless.

After they were done practicing, they all started gathering on the floor talking about everything. 

Tanaka tries to go hug Y/N but, Y/N pushes him away. “Tanaka I will punch you if you touch me again. God, you smell sour.” Tanaka grins trying to hug Y/N again. “Then let’s smell sour together!”

Safe to say the team all liked Y/N. Though they did thought Tanaka and him were a funny pair as Y/N was a very blunt and smart person and, Tanaka was...just Tanaka.

They also had stuff shared with Y/N so, that made everyone like Y/N more, even the grumpy Tsukishima.

The team meeting was beginning to end. Though, Noya steers the conversation to Y/N.

"Y/N, you should come with us tomorrow, we're having a little get together at a restaurant, since it'll be the weekend. Now that Tanaka doesn't have the excuse of not coming to our hangouts to visit you." Y/N eyes glint. "Yeah, sure. I'm not going to be doing anything tomorrow. Might as well not laze around." 

Noya smiles back at you. "Yes! okay, I'll text Tanaka to invite you to our group chat since you're now a official member of our squad now." 

"Thank you for inviting me, I'm glad to be a part of this ‘squad’." Y/N adds, laughing. Y/N really did appreciated the efforts of them trying to include him in their hangouts.

"I’ll send you all the details later, Cya." In unison, everyone says bye back. Getting up as well, Y/N dust off his pants, he says his goodbye's to everyone before going to Tanaka as Tanaka closes the locker room door.

Y/N goes to catch up with him. He places his arm over Tanaka’s shoulder, touching his ear. "You seem to be comfortable with everyone." Tanaka leans into Y/N.

"Yeah, everyone is so nice. Wonder why you consider them family." Y/N gives him a brief smiles. "Maybe someday you'll consider them to be yours." Tanaka added.

[todomitoukei]

Touya's Trolley Problem

It is January 18 or in other words - Dabi’s birthday. And what better way to celebrate it than by writing a meta no one asked for, one that I’ve made a stupid edit for and had been planning on turning into a post for months but always put it off instead because I can, only for it to perfectly fit in with the current events taking place in the manga.

Introducing: The Touya Trolley Problem.

The trolley problem is a thought experiment in ethics, where one has to choose between saving 5 people that are about to be hit by a trolley, or diverting said trolley and killing 1 person instead. There are two main ethical theories that serve as options for how one decides to react in this situation:

Utilitarianism - basing your actions on how to serve the greater good (thus diverting the trolley and saving the 5 people because 5 is more than 1)

Deontology - basing your actions on whether the action itself is right or wrong rather than focusing on the consequence (thus not diverting the train and sacrificing the 5 people because killing is considered an action that is wrong no matter the consequences)

To give a better example of this, let’s see how this fits in with the current chapters in the manga by looking at this panel from chapter 340:

“The fact that he betrayed society as a whole” - just as a reminder, Aoyama’s family was threatened by the biggest villain of the country and are now punished for not simply letting themselves be killed by him for the sake of society. In other words, the hero side uses the utilitarian approach to decide how to act, which we see on other occasions too, like Hawks or Endeavor getting away with what would normally be considered heinous crimes, due to them being heroes and thus saving more people than they have abused or killed.

This is also an argument often made within the fandom to excuse those exact crimes (i.e. Hawks killing Twice being justified because otherwise, the latter could have caused more destruction and gotten people killed with his quirk).

To summarize - the hero side heavily aligns with utilitarianism, the belief that the greater good for the greater number of people dictates how to act.

In a 2013 survey, it was found that almost 70% of the participants would divert the trolley, thus killing the 1 person and agreeing with the utilitarian theory. However, the experiment usually doesn’t end there. In some versions, the 5 people will remain random people, while the 1 person is now someone you personally know and care about. In this case, people often start to struggle as it’s usually harder for people to just sacrifice someone they love for people they don’t even know.

But how does all that relate to Dabi?

Well, to sum it up, I made this edit to visualize it:

People (=Dabi haters) will go around and act like Dabi’s and Endeavor’s crimes are somehow comparable and that Dabi chose to be a villain because he was born that way when in reality, those crimes have completely different origins. Endeavor suffers from an inferiority complex so big that he gave up on his immense goal of being the number one hero after just a few years of trying and instead of learning to accept that this position isn’t in reach for him in such a short amount of time, he did the next - certainly not logical - step of buying a wife and forcing her to have kids with him to use as tools and live his dreams through them, not shying away from cold-heartedly neglecting them when they weren’t good enough.

Touya, on the other hand, was just a kid that - just like every other kid - wanted and needed his parents’ love and attention, and naturally, not receiving those basic needs had their effect on him. So when looking at Dabi and how his existence as a villain came to be, it’s not entirely incorrect to say that he chose to become a villain. However, he chose to become a villain just like how Aoyama and his family chose to “betray society as a whole” - by choosing not to get killed by AFO. Sure, they did make that choice. Hopefully, we can all agree, though, that being held at gunpoint isn’t going to accurately reflect how people would normally choose.

In the case of Touya’s Trolley Problem, the experiment takes place sometime after his accident, once he was well enough to make a conscious decision concerning his future. While we haven’t gotten more details regarding that time of his life and his thought process, the trolley problem shows the dilemma he faced at some point during those ten years.

Here, the greater good - or the 5 people as per the original version - is society, so similarly to how Aoyama “betrayed society” by choosing to live, Touya becoming a villain also means betraying and in parts sacrificing society.

On the other hand, the 1 person is Touya.

At the same time, Touya is also the one in control of where the trolley goes as he is the one making the decision.

So instead of having to choose between saving 1 or 5 people, he can either save himself or society.

The reason for this is that he could have returned to his family and risk possibly dying as he continued to try to prove himself to his dad. Considering he had already been hurting himself with his training for years and years on end, it's unlikely to assume the accident would have changed this unhealthy behavior when still not receiving the support system from adults that he needed. This would have most likely led to him actually dying sooner or later. Even if he somehow did manage to never die in the process, his mental health would have only worsened over time even more possibly damaging all the relationships in his life, etc.

Society would benefit from this though, as he then would not have become a villain and joined the lov. Obviously, there are other villains that also cause harm and destruction, but especially considering the release of his broadcast, he sure played a big role in the current chaotic state of the country.

The other option was to not return and instead avenge himself by becoming Dabi the villain and thus disregarding the peace in society. Touya lives on, but society suffers the consequences. This is the option he ended up choosing.

Going by the utilitarian approach, Touya should have chosen to die in order to maintain society’s rather peaceful state and not disrupt Endeavor’s improved approval rate by society as the number one hero. It’s just one life vs. the rest of the country. Could an individual really be worth that much?

On the flip side, one might ask whether society could really be worth that much. Individuals exist either way, yet society is a man-made concept, which in turn begs the question as to why it was created in the first place and what would make it worth protecting.

The “Social contract” is a theory in philosophy stating that an individual’s morals depend on the rules the society they live in is built on. One notable philosopher that talked about this theory was Thomas Hobbes (bolded + italicized for better readability):

According to Hobbes, the justification for political obligation is this: given that men are naturally self-interested, yet they are rational, they will choose to submit to the authority of a Sovereign in order to be able to live in a civil society, which is conducive to their own interests. Hobbes argues for this by imagining men in their natural state, or in other words, the State of Nature. In the State of Nature, which is purely hypothetical according to Hobbes, men are naturally and exclusively self-interested, they are more or less equal to one another, (even the strongest man can be killed in his sleep), there are limited resources, and yet there is no power able to force men to cooperate. Given these conditions in the State of Nature, Hobbes concludes that the State of Nature would be unbearably brutal. In the State of Nature, every person is always in fear of losing his life to another. They have no capacity to ensure the long-term satisfaction of their needs or desires. No long-term or complex cooperation is possible because the State of Nature can be aptly described as a state of utter distrust. Given Hobbes’ reasonable assumption that most people want first and foremost to avoid their own deaths, he concludes that the State of Nature is the worst possible situation in which men can find themselves. It is the state of perpetual and unavoidable war.

The situation is not, however, hopeless. Because men are reasonable, they can see their way out of such a state by recognizing the laws of nature, which show them the means by which to escape the State of Nature and create a civil society. The first and most important law of nature commands that each man be willing to pursue peace when others are willing to do the same, all the while retaining the right to continue to pursue war when others do not pursue peace. Being reasonable, and recognizing the rationality of this basic precept of reason, men can be expected to construct a Social Contract that will afford them a life other than that available to them in the State of Nature.

Going by this logic, wouldn’t a society that fails to ensure the things mentioned above, also be failing the individuals in it? It would fail its main purpose and with that become useless. So rather than Touya choosing to live and become a villain meaning that he betrayed society, it’s actually the other way around.

This is supported by the part stating that the members of society are “retaining the right to continue to pursue war when others do not pursue peace” - meaning he, and others like him, have every right to be villains because other members of society didn’t pursue peace when they abused, neglected, and discriminated against Touya and the rest of the lov.

In a state like that, a greater quantity becomes meaningless to the person making this decision - in this case, Touya - because why should he care to protect a dysfunctional society, rather than himself?

Furthermore, different from the classic trolley problem, in this scenario choosing to sacrifice himself would mean that Touya dies, whilst choosing to sacrifice society would not mean for all the people in that society to die. Instead, the way that society is functioning at that moment is being damaged, but not damaged enough to not be rebuilt again in an improved way, meaning that it’s not a total loss.

With that in mind, saving an individual’s life over a mere, already flawed concept becomes an obvious and easy choice.

In conclusion, while at first, it might seem natural to choose the greater good, when taking a closer look that logic quickly fades away as the greater good doesn’t provide much reason for being worth protecting, especially from Touya’s point of view, when society was the reason he became part of the trolley problem in the first place.

It is his right, then, to fight back and choose to live, rather than to let himself be killed as a sacrifice to ensure a continued false sense of security a society protected by abusers and murderers is providing. With that choice, at least society still stands a chance, whereas the other option only results in the death of a child that deserved so much better.

Or to put it simply: Touya is right and society had already failed before that decision anyway.

[cinnamonest]

Rewriting my Diluc housewife thoughts but I saved it in my notes this time, but I made it infinitely more sexist than it already was before bc 1) I was in the kink mood and 2) the spirits of writing gods possessed my body and told me that is the way all Diluc content should be, so, this is major 1950s-ish housewifey horrendously misogynistic shit, you've been warned. Like, even *I* looked back over this and was like "wow this is vile" which is kinda saying something for me so, putting the nastier parts under cut for the sake of my followers' eyes ----------- I was thinking about the post a while back about Diluc reforming a criminal darling - a thief around Mondstadt that's been on a crime spree and of course he catches wind of that and goes to defeat the perpetrator (surprisingly very easy? How is a thief this weak?) and haul the bastard off to jail except... What's this? Said criminal is actually just some girl and not a gross ugly bastard?? This changes things. Clearly, this was not an intentional act of malice or greed, but rather, he, master of criminal psychology™, rationalizes that the world is far too cruel for unwifed girls that have no one to depend on, a cold terrible place, so you must have been driven to these actions out of desperation. You had no provider, no caretaker, which are needs. How could you possibly be expected to provide a means of living for yourself?? This is just the consequences of the unfairness of the world. However, things all work out in the end. You need to be taken care of and restrained from these self-destructive choices by force (since you cannot recognize how bad it is, not that you're expected to, it's natural that you have poor perception, that's why you need a man to make choices for you), and he needs a wife. This solution benefits all parties.

He is, however, a rather dense man, and doesn't really think to like, tell you that. Or tell you anything. He's too lost in thought in his planning -- gonna get you new clothes to replace your ragged ones, gonna have to rearrange the guard schedule so they can watch the house better, all that -- and just kinda slings you up and over his shoulder without a word. Ignores you kicking and hitting because it doesn't really hurt or anything, you're too weak for that. Just says he’ll explain in detail later, but don’t worry, you’re not going to jail. He’s just taking you home. This is better, he says. Stop struggling so much, what, you want to go to jail? No? Then be still. And you don't recognize that it's good for you yet, but again, that's expected. In a better time or society, you would have been married off sooner, and prevented from ever falling victim to your own decision making to begin with, but the world isn't perfect and you can be forgiven for it. You're not responsible for your own actions since you can't comprehend them. It's frustrating and he sighs a bit over it, but that's just the way things are. You'll be happy in the long run, even if it takes a while, you're naturally programmed for a better lifestyle he has in mind. And, really, he's glad you weren't married off, because if you were then he never would have had you, so even though it was technically unideal, the stars align and the universe works out things perfectly. It's all the more of a sign that this was fate and you were made for him. The issue is that a hardened criminal darling is... Not the ideal candidate for a housewife. To some extent, he's right that the criminal underworld hardens a person, you can't survive in that realm if you're submissive or weak willed. And criminal darling certainly is not. Loud mouthed, opinionated, argumentative, bad attitude, defiant and aggressive and very much unafraid. A complete loose cannon. All very unfavorable traits. Worst of all, very much unaccepting of and ungrateful for the privilege of a second chance and being graciously granted the opportunity for a better life. Lots of bad behaviors.

The cursing is a problem. It's not very... Wife-like. Gives off a bad image, you know. Especially since said cursing is usually directed at him at a very loud volume with a snarl and getting all up in his face to tell him he's fucking insane and a bastard. To be honest, the worst part isn't the words themselves, it's the fact that you are so unafraid to be defiant and so fiery that is the primary issue. You disobey very deliberately. Little acts of pettiness. Being mean to the maids who are so graciously trying to teach you how to cook (at his direction), since you had no idea how to (and nearly burned his house down as a result). The first time you were mean and bitter and that's how you learned they report back to him about how you behaved. It did not go over well.  

Intentionally burning food. Once you somehow found a bottle in a cabinet somewhere in the mansion and put rat poison in his food, made him sick. Muttering a sarcastic whoops and shoving a vase off to crash and shatter on the floor. Early on you refused to wear all the nice dresses you were generously given and even tried to go through his clothes to find something to wear, which was kinda cute since it was way too big, but still. You mutter and grumble under your breath every time you're given a command. The most important thing is sex, though. You know, your job. One of your only real responsibilities. He has a very stressful job. It's only reasonable that he can expect to come home to his sweet, loving little wife with open arms and equally open legs. You've probably fucked around a bit right? For money, for favors, for intel, you get the idea, lots of ties to criminal gangs to earn their trust. So, if you do it for something so insignificant, how much more does he deserve it for taking care of you fully? You should -- and you will, with time -- drop to your knees the second he walks through the door. But instead, sigh, you fight and whimper and cover your face in shame after you spasm and cum, and worst of all, you actively try not to cum. You shouldn't feel ashamed of that, it's good, he says. Sure, you may not be officially married (since the laws of Mondstadt unfortunately require that whole "consent" thing for both parties, ugh), but, he's basically your husband right? So, it's perfectly normal, you're supposed to cum for him. Maybe once you're all knocked up you'll be even hornier, and less shameful. He actually wasn't expecting you to be this bad. Incredibly stubborn and prideful. Literally the exact opposite traits of a good wife, you know, submissive and humble and obedient. He kinda thought that it was like... automatic. That once he just kinda shoved you in the right environment, it would be like flipping a switch right? Apparently not. But no matter. It can be changed, with effort and time. You're worth it. See, you're not supposed to backtalk him, you're supposed to smile and do what you're told without question. You're supposed to submit and obey, and instead you seem hellbent on pissing him off out of spite - and frankly, you're doing a good job of achieving that. Every time you defy him it sparks an irritation he can't describe, worse than he'd normally get from just being snarled at by anyone - no, something about being disrespected by someone he feels is beneath him makes him much, much angrier than it would be if it were, say, one of the business partners who get snappy and argumentative very frequently. He could break you and it would be easy, don't you know that? You stomp and you hit him and you yell, but clearly you process that you have to look up to look him in the eye, you have to realize how much smaller you are. You hit him even though you have to know by now he'll just grab your wrists, and like always you'll be unable to even hope of pulling out of his grip, the strength difference between you two is so great. There's no way you don't realize all that, yet you continue to behave the way you do. The inferiority is so blatantly obvious, but you act as if it's not. He spends a lot of time contemplating the source of this, the cause of your behavior, it occupies his thoughts. It's like... You resent him for something. Could it possibly be kidnapping you and keeping you as a glorified sex slave? No, no, that's not it. It's something else, yes. Are you just bitter about being inferior in, you know, every conceivable way? Is that it? The criminality for you was compensation to make you feel powerful, perhaps. You have a complex. You resent him not for anything he's done, but because you know he's stronger and smarter and generally superior to you. You don't want to accept it. You're prideful when you shouldn't be. You're supposed to be humble and content with your inferiority. Yeah, that's it. You just have a negative perception of the lifestyle you're supposed to have. Maybe some event in your life or someone else warped your view of things. You don't realize how happy you'd be if you just accepted it. Yes, if you submitted to it, if you swallowed your pride and actually accepted your place, you'd find you would be very happy, you just don't know that. Or maybe, your brain can't grasp something like that. After all, that's the reason you're supposed to be the submissive party of the two of you, you're not as bright or perceptive (says the densest man alive). You have to be... Led. Guided. So he says it. He is, again, a dense man. He does not really think about the fact that perhaps blatantly confronting you with the epiphany he thinks he's had and specifically using the words inferior and weak and small is probably not going to make you very happy. You get bitchy and bratty and try to hit him and he sighs because, see, this is exactly what he's talking about. You reacting the way you did only confirms you do have a complex, he says. So, how could he go about... reconditioning? He is not the most creative man, but thankfully it's a rather easy problem to solve. If you're reminded of a reality often enough, you have to accept it. For starters, using physical strength against you. Maybe that will metaphorically open your eyes. Holds you down in place when you're hitting him like you do, firmly bending you over a counter or whatever and just holding you in place. Come on, try to get up, try to push him off. You snarl and claw at the marble and push will all your strength, but he doesn't budge, not until you politely apologize and ask him to let you up. If you're being difficult and not going where he tells you to, well, he can just sling you up over his shoulder and carry you. If you're fighting being fucked he can just flip you over and press your face into the mattress and hold you still, and you can't help but take the brutal reality that you're basically a ragdoll to him, that is, physically overpowering you doesn't even require trying. It helps to knock you down a peg, remind you of your place and maybe get you to swallow that pride a bit. The orgasms and fucking have a similar effect -- every time you can't help but feel like he has a power over you. And really, he kinda does. Every time you lay there still panting and shivering in aftershock, the shame comes swarming in, all the obscene noises you made and the way you came undone under the person that treats you like property. Even if the rational part of you knows better, you can't help but feel like in a way it's like you let him win, allowed yourself to more or less prove him right. Maybe you'll learn better if you're in more humiliating positions. Stuck getting rammed from behind, hand forcing your face down and ass up. Actually correcting bad behaviors requires more direct approaches, so he takes the... Old fashioned route. After all, it's pretty much guaranteed to work. You don't listen to words, you don't listen to reason, but you'll certainly listen to handprints and belt welts on your ass. It's the first time you really, truly break, and that brings him a lot of satisfaction. The first time you really cry and whimper and beg and apologize so profusely it feels like you mean it for once. Granted, for a while you just persist in your bad behaviors and even try to run when you see him sigh and take the belt off, but you never get far. And, most notably, you actually fix your behaviors, with enough reminders. At one point, the next time you start being bad and get to bitching and snarling and putting up a fight, you catch the look on his face and, for once, you shut your mouth and look down and mumble an apology by default. See, you're learning. Speaking of, you still have that major issue with backtalking him. You're supposed to submit to him and acknowledge his authority over you. So he gets firm. Grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look him in the eye and reminds you that you will *not* get an attitude with him. You *will* show some respect. You say yes sir and no sir and do what you're told. And if you forget, he can give you a reminder, if you want that. But you shake your head with fear in your eyes, say you don't want that. It makes you mad. You want to lash back, but you swallow your pride and mutter a fine - before realizing the mistake, violating the rule you were just reminded of. You stammer out a yes sir but it's already too late. He has to control himself too, not let his anger get the better of him. He speaks in a way that isn't snarling and mean, but rather firm, cold, a flat tone that asserts dominance and demands respect. But... still wants you to like him. So he has to be nice, too. After all, you'll learn better if you're rewarded for being good, right? So you can get little rewards. Words of affirmation. A pat to the head. He'll buy you something you want, let you drink a bit (since, as a thief, of course, you had a problem with that before you came home, but that had to be corrected too, since drunkenness isn't very befitting). And sooner or later he does have a really good little wife. He's proud of you. You smile and obey commands without complaining. He can come home every day, and rather than hearing a long report from the staff about how much trouble you caused that day, instead you have food and smiles and sweet affection waiting on him, you hug him when he walks through the door. You're polite and sweet to the various business partners and guests that come through -- you don't speak to them without permission though, of course, and you look down at the ground so you don't make eye contact with another man. People say he's lucky and how they wish they had a wife that was so outwardly affectionate to them as you are to him, always clinging to him physically. And you don't complain or every object to anything, you just smile and say yes and do it. It makes him happy in a weird way he can't quite articulate. A warm swell of pride, a feeling of success. You have vague memories of a time when you were breaking into houses just to scrape by, not knowing when you'd eat next, not knowing where you'd sleep. It's kind of a fuzzy memory now. You don't have to worry about those things anymore, and you're a lot happier this way.