#it's just another thing he had to outrun in life
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deimcs · 23 days ago
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[VARRIC] Let's just try not to do that again. Bianca hates being turned on her friends.
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messenger-of-babel · 1 month ago
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Fragile Stability
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Summary: Very few things could make Dick this scared, but patching up his younger sister is one of them . (Nightwing x batsis!reader)
Word Count: 1.6K
Notes: Back with Nightwing and part of this got deleted but I cannot remember where so it mustn't be that important. (On that note: I might redo and reuse this concept for some of my other works in the future with different characters, or try again if I remember what I wanted to add). Warning for blood and mentions of needles, I don't think there's any language warnings. Enjoy! xx
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"Stay with me birdie, please stay with me." Dick grits out, feet thudding against the pavement. It had been a while since Dick had needed to outrun a villain, normally grappling away and flipping over the rooftops like he had been made for it.
Except this time, he had you in his arms, tears streaked down your face as you sob at every rough jostle. "It's okay, I'm getting you to safety, just hold on. Just a little longer, sweetheart." he panted, eyes scanning for the entrance to the nearby safehouse. If he just took a few more turns and twists he could make it, getting well out of range of Black Mask's men. When he found it, he veered heavily, slipping into the abandoned warehouse and pulling the sliding door shut.
"Nightwing, reporting in." He says tensely, activating his commlink the moment he deems it safe enough. It crackles to life, the rough voice of Batman replying.
"Copy Nightwing, report."
"Birdie's been hit." he pants out, manoeuvring to the third to last shipping container at the back. punching in the code with bloodstained fingers, he frees the lock that hisses open, pulling the doors open.
"Their status?" Batman's voice grunts, but even Dick could tell the hint of panic that sat underneath. He unloops your arms from around his neck, stepping into the hidden field surgery set up. A weak LED strip light flickers on above, casting shadows over the walls as he lays you into the surgery chair. There's very little else, a few rolling drawers of medical equipment, a fridge in the back with more supplies.
"Not good." he replies, sitting on the stool beside the chair and dragging a set of drawers closer to him. "She's-she's bleeding badly. Puncture through the thigh from the explosion, a piece of rebar." he swallows thickly, mind replaying the horrid sound of your screaming filling the air once his ears had stopped ringing. "Another in the shoulder, serrated stab wound."
His hands shake as he presses on the puncture on your upper thigh, making you scream out. He winces seeing the way your face is scrunched up, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. "I'm sorry birdie, I'm so sorry." he murmurs, heart twisting painfully.
"We're sending help to your location. Red Robin is headed there now with the car, get her stable in the meantime. We'll prep the ward immediately."
Dick's head felt light, darkness floating at the edges of his sight. He swallowed, cold sweat beading at his hairline. "We…we were ambushed by Black Mask's men. This was a set up, they were ready. They're still nearby, if they find here-"
"We'll worry about the Mask." Batman cuts him off. "You know your job, keep her stable."
"We?" Dick replies, voice closing up more and more.
"Red Hood and Myself are going to pursue Black Mask. Spoiler and Robin are going to take out the rest of the men from the hideout."
Dick swallows, blinking rapidly. "I-It was just supposed to be a minor drug bust." he manages to get out. "Just get the Mask, send more people here not out there-"
"Everyone has their orders."
The tone of Batman is cold and hard, making the words Dick wants to say die on his tongue momentarily. He hesitates before speaking again. "Why are you sending everyone?" There's a small silence, before Batman's voice crackles back over the line.
"I didn't. They left before I could say anything. Now stabilise them."
Dick's well aware of the warmth on the underside of his palm, seeping into the material of his suit. His non bloodied hand comes up to stroke your face gently, wiping away the tears coming from your puffy eyes. "It hurts Nightwing," you say, voice choked with a sob. "It burns."
His heart wrenches and he nods. "Yeah, yeah its gonna burn birdie." he says. "I'm…I'm gonna make it burn a bit more, okay?" he offers you a weak, apologetic smile, hands shaking as he goes for the first drawer, pulling out a surgical needle and sutures. "We need to close it, I need to stop the bleeding." he chokes out, tears burning at his eyes as your hand grips his wrist, hearing you whine as you try to pull his hand away from the uncomfortable pressure. He folds his hand over yours, making your hand press on the wound instead. "Hold down on this." he instructs softly. "I'm going to go get something from the fridge. Nice and tight, there we go." he murmurs, getting up from beside you to hurry for the fridge.
Pulling it open he rummages around, cursing under his breath as he doesn't find what he needs and pressing his earpiece to contact Tim to bring it. He comes back to your side, face lined and worried. "Okay, bad news, sweetheart." he says, grimacing. "I don't have anything to take the edge off. We've got no painkillers left." your eyes look up at him, glossy and scared.
"It hurts Nightwing." you cry, voice trembling. "It hurts, please don't make it hurt more."
He tries to ignore the heartbreaking gaze you send him, leaning over you to tie a bandage tightly around your stabbed shoulder. You cry out, body bucking upwards. Thankfully the stab seemed to be less urgent, the knife doing less damage than it could have with the serrated edge. He searches around a little more, a flat, wooden utensil set up by the sink.
"Bite this." He says softly, coming to your side once more and slotting it in between your teeth. He hates the way that your eyes look up at him all glassy, brimming with unshed tears. You shake your head, making him bring his hands up to cradle your face. "Hey, hey sweetheart, shhhh. shhh..." he tries to soothe, your chest beginning to tremor with muffled sobs. He plasters a fake smile onto his face, hoping that you can't see his teeth clenched tight.
He sits on the stool next to you, moving your hand over the thigh wound so he can look at it. His hands feel numb seeing how much blood you've lost, and he has to snap himself back into it. He peels off his gloves, shake in his fingers now prominent as he grabs tweezers and the sutures.
Stabilise you. That's all he has to do. Till he can get you back to the infirmary.
Despite the steady breaths he takes to calm himself, they're ripped from his throat the second the needle pierces your skin. The wooden spatula falls from your mouth as your mouth splits impossibly wide, eyes scrunched up as you scream. He has to lean over you, forearms keeping you pressed to the chair while he desperately pleads for you to stay still. He can see how much it burns, the way you hiccup after every breathless sob. He hates it, hating how after each pull of the suture through your skin your face ripples with pain. Each stitch he makes stabs at his heart.
It was supposed to be simple.
He grits his teeth, trying to not let himself cry. This was supposed to be an easy mission, it was your first after all. Sure, Bruce was hesitant to let his daughter run around in a costume fighting bad guys. He had wanted you, his unspoken favourite, to live a peaceful life. However, when you expressed interest in the night life, Dick had vouched for you. He offered to be the one to take you out on your first mission, spent countless hours with Bruce in the cave training you. You were meant to come home with scrapes on your knees and a rip in your suit. Not here in a dingy downtown shipping container having a needle shoved through your skin repeatedly.
This was his fault.
Your screams ring so loud in his head that he forgets what the sound of your laugh is like, the irritated huffs you make when you and Tim discuss entrance exams. "D-Dickie..." you sob weakly, hand pushing lightly against his. "Di-Dickie. St-stop…please. Puh-please stop…" you sob, a wispy sound as your eyes scrunch up again. He doesn’t care that you called him by his real name. After all, it was Dick Grayson that had failed you as an older brother. Not Nightwing.
His vision tunnels as he continues to stitch despite your whimpers and sobs, hands shaking so badly it takes him twice as long as he expects to even get halfway. Right now, you weren't just the next Batgirl. You weren't just another spandex clad orphan standing next to Bruce. Right now you were his little sister, the same one he'd spend movie nights with and let hide in his room to cool off when you were mad at Bruce.
When he finally finishes and ties it off, the tools clatter from his hands. He leans forward on to his knees, breath struggling to make it into his lungs. He felt lightheaded, everything feeling like it was burning. His hand managed to feel for your limp one, thumb sliding over your wrist to feel your slow pulse. His other hand pinched the domino mask from his face, letting it clatter to the floor as he wiped his eyes. he didn't even pay attention to the calling of Red Robin through the com, letting him know that he was pulling up right outside. He let himself take a few shaky sobs, fingers digging the tears from his eyes and splattering onto the discarded mask under him.
He wasn’t Nightwing right now.
He was Dick Grayson, the older brother who put you on death's door.
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phant0mth1ef · 4 months ago
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i love my sister more than anything in this life, i will choose her happiness over mine every time.
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bakugou katsuki and you, a relationship turned sour as you both headed into your first year of highschool, at two separate hero academies.
you’d been dating since your third year of junior high, and yet he had never come by to meet your family. although, you wouldn’t really want him to. natsuo, fuyumi and shouto were great, but your father was still stuck in his number one mindset.
he’d basically disposed of you once your quirk manifested, you took after your mother after all. your quirk, shrapnel, allowed you to produce and shoot shards of ice at your opponent, but you always ran cold as a result.
shouto, now he was exactly what your father wanted. you’d been allowed to play with your siblings growing up, allowed to do normal childhood things as you watched your twin brother get beaten down by your father. he’d come into your shared childhood bedroom in tears almost every night, and you’d be there to comfort him, every single time.
so when you’d gone to shiketsu to spite your father, you’d essentially split with shouto. developing your own life and your own personality.
all while dating his future classmate.
and when you and bakugou broke up, shouto was furious at the boy. but the blonde haired boy just chalked it up to todoroki being jealous.
until he saw you both side by side at the provisional licensing exam. he didn’t know how he missed it before, but you and todoroki looked exactly alike aside from his two-toned hair and your snowy white locks. the fact that your last name was your mother’s maiden name wasn’t helping him find out shouto was your brother.
you’d found bakugou as you were trying to outrun an entire class from another school, but what you didn’t expect was for bakugou to have a group with him.
an electric type was rather smart, despite the way he looked.
“hey, bakugou. she looks a lot like todoroki, right?” he just stared at you, still. until he smiled, his canines visible as you were frozen in place, your shiketsu cap lying on the ground next to you as you looked up from where you were sat on the ground.
he was planning to attack you.
he sent a cluster of explosions your way, was he trying to kill you?
a block of ice appeared, taking up the blasts force as your brother ran towards you, grabbing your hand and forcing you up.
“todoroki? what the hell are you doing, man?! she’s the enemy!” a spikey, red haired man was shouting at your brother who was currently dodging or deflecting every attack that was headed your way.
“she’s not the enemy, she’s my sister.”
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gothic-thoughts · 1 month ago
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His Favorite Nurse
Michael Myers x Black Fem Reader Angst
AslumPatient!Michael, Nurse!Reader, Kinda Dark, Feat. Dr. Loomis
Part 2: Right Here
Part 4 (Last): Right Here
CW: reassuring Michael after a rampage, he just missed u fr,
TW: gore/blood mention
Word Count: 1973 (give or take)
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On my day back, I walked into the asylum to hear alarms blaring loudly, but I was in the lobby so everything seemed fine. It was only after hearing the faint sounds of police sirens that I ran into the elevator, tapping my foot impatiently as it took me to the 3rd floor. When it dings open, I run into the hallway Michael’s room was in, heels clicking quickly until I reach the start of the corridor but I freeze in place.
My jaw drops and my breath halts.
Bodies of guards and nurses were scattered all over the hall accompanied by their own puddles of blood, some had their heads crushed into a chunky mess while others had their throats ripped out. None of these puddles are dry, did he just do this? Why? And where is he? Despite my stomach being sick I push through, stepping past and over the multiple corpses.
“S-She’s coming back, I swear!” He whimpered, “Please, I didn’t mean it,  just please...!”
Shit, that’s the next hall. I turn the corner to see The Shape further down the hall stalking towards an unarmed guard who crawled back from him with a brutally broken arm, begging for his life. The killer’s hands, arms, and feet were soaked in blood, I could hear his heavy breathing from all the way down here. 
Without thinking, I ran a little closer in hopes of distracting him from earning another kill as loud police sirens closed in from afar. I stopped a good 20 feet from my big, murderous patient and did the only thing I could think of to potentially distract him enough:
“Michael!!”
The Shape freezes in place, his long, shaggy hair shifting as he slowly lifts his head from the guard. He looks back over his shoulder almost as if to confirm it was me before turning his entire body to face me, leaving the guard completely forgotten behind him. My heart pounded with fear and disbelief that I actually stopped him, even if for only a second. I remain still, watching him from afar and he doesn't move either, most likely analyzing me from behind that orange mask of his.
“I... I'm back...?”
After another long 10 seconds of silence, he tilts his head to the right. Then takes a step forward, foot thudding from his weight.
I stumble back a little but he continues to approach wordlessly, with slow, deliberate steps.
“Uh, hey big guy...”
His breaths are instantly back to being undetectable, even more so as more police sirens join the others. At first, I wanted to let him close the gap between us but the scent of blood— the sight of it practically dripping from his body combined with the intensity of the moment made my courage crumble and I ran in the other direction. I hear Michael huff angrily as his heavy footsteps stomp quickly behind me, closing the distance as if my running didn’t matter, his longer legs helping him gain on me in seconds— in my defense, I was wearing heels. 
Knowing that I wasn’t gonna be able to outrun him, I started banging on all the patients' doors in the hall, hoping to find an unlocked one as my heart raced. Little did I know, this whole floor had been evacuated right after Michael broke out and before my shift started.
“Hello!? Let me in!” I begged, “C’mon, please! Somebody help me!”
Nobody responds, the only sound being the loud footsteps of the nearly 7-foot killer getting closer. As I reach the next handle, Michael suddenly grabs my arm, causing me to scream as he forcefully spins me to face him. He calmly and slowly leans down to look at me while I panic but as soon as I try to pull away, he roughly pulls me flush against his blood-soaked clothes with a single grunt.
“Michael, no!” A familiar voice called, “Stop!”
I look back over my shoulder to see a group of police officers running behind Dr. Loomis with their guns drawn as they make their way down the blood-soaked hallway. They all stop and stand at the end of the corridor, smartly staying a safe distance from Michael. Tears sting the corner of my eyes as I wait for him to hurt me.
But he doesn't. 
In fact, upon seeing Loomis he pulled me impossibly closer to his bloody shirt, holding me so tight against him that a small amount seeped from the fabric and smeared my right cheek.
“What is he doing...?” Loomis asks aloud, “He's never done anything like this before; he doesn’t take hostages. Michael... Let the girl go... please.”
Michael doesn't say a word, his head never lifting to even consider looking at Loomis.
“Please...” I whimper, choking up, “P-Please don’t hurt me...”
“Michael...” Loomis says, taking a step forward, “She's begging you. Don’t hurt her, let her go.”
The doctor’s step made the masked killer immediately take another step back.
“No.” I sniffle, looking up at him, “Please don’t hurt me, just... please.”
He tilted his head to the side, at least giving me some confirmation that he was listening to me, but his arm didn’t even attempt to loosen from around my back. That’s when Loomis picked up on something:
“Do... you like her?” He asks gently, “That’s it, isn’t it... you like her...?”
I tense at his words, eyes widening at the revelation. After all this time, Michael hadn’t made a single move to hurt me. He hadn’t crushed me, broke my neck, hit me, nothing. I had been in his grasp for over a minute and the only thing wrong is how fucking terrifying he is. I look up at the killer's mask and take it upon myself to try something— since we already bonded a little, it didn’t seem like that big of a risk. I slowly wrap my arms around Michael’s waist, staining my arms in blood.
“Michael...?” I say, taking a deep breath, “C-Can you can wrap your arms around me... like this?”
The killer stays silent for a moment, head tilting to the right.
“Please...? You’re... You're scaring me...”
He readjusts his head, never taking his cold eyes off me. A couple seconds of silence passed before he readjusted the arm across my back and added his other to mimic me, completely enveloping me in his tight embrace. I gasp softly in disbelief.
“Yeah, like that, good.” I choke up despite being a little calmer, “That’s better...” 
His huge arms instantly relaxed at my words, I even managed to catch a soft breath from behind that orange mask.
“You just killed so many people, and... do you know why...?”
He huffs behind the mask, seemingly agitated again as he starts tensing against me so I instantly shush him and rub his lower back, bringing his large frame to a frighteningly immediate halt.
“Easy, you know I’m just asking. Like the questions last week, remember?”
Another softened huff as he retightened his embrace. Then a subtle nod. He’s really trying his best to be gentle; it’s kinda cute. It’s just too bad my heart was already going a mile a minute. Everyone must think I’m crazy, but I just need to keep him calm... or whatever his version of calm is. 
I can feel Loomis’ and the police’s confused looks on us, completely at a loss of what to do now but I ignore their stares, doing everyone a favor by keeping the murderous giant calm and collected by softly petting his chest and a few gentle words. Somehow.
“That's it, you don’t have to hold me so tight. I won’t go anywhere.”
My eyes stayed locked on the cold, dead blue ones behind the mask, making sure he was watching as I slowly pulled my arms from around him. I rest my hands on his broad, blood-stained chest while I gently coax him to loosen his grip, trying to convince him I wasn’t gonna try to run away, and after a full minute, he finally listens, arms slowly becoming less tense. I smile.
“There you go, see? I'm right here...” I whisper, “Did you hurt all this staff just because I left for the week?”
Michael suddenly drops his arms from my body. He hangs his head, his long, brown hair obscuring his mask as his bloody hands gently grab the chin of his mask and the string on the back of his head, slowly pulling off his mask before promptly dropping it to the floor next to him. I hear the cops murmur, their grips on their weapons tightening as Michael reaches into his pocket, but I hear Loomis shush them.
“What are you doing?”
He pulls out a bloody ID card, the movement making 3 more fall out and clatter to the floor. He didn’t react to them, opting to hold up the first one to my face with his fingers. A...nurse? He killed her and took her ID? Wait... I take the card and pick up the ones that fell, reading all of them to see that they were all nurses.
Between this and what the guard said when he was crawling away, it all clicked: “S-She’s coming back, I swear! Please, I didn’t mean it,  just please...”. I look up at his obstructed face and I couldn’t help but pout sympathetically as if he didn’t just murder 4 nurses and then some.
“I didn’t leave you, and I’m not going to. I just took a break.”
Michael's head lifts slightly, giving me a glimpse of those dead, blue eyes narrowing through his hair. Oh right, I leave when my shift ends. Shit.
“And if I do, I'll be right back; nobody’s replacing me— especially not if this is what you do when you miss me. Next time, I’ll tell you when I’m taking a long break okay?”
He nods subtly.
“Why’d you take off your mask? You didn’t need to.”
He firmly grabs my wrist and to my surprise, he guides it past his dark strands until my palm rests on his cold cheek. I smile at him.
“Aw, you’re kinda cute when you’re not all, uh...” I quickly glance at the carnage around us again, “Angry...?”
A small huff and I could see his eyes close.
“We gotta get you cleaned up, big guy. Can I take you to the showers? I won’t let the police hurt you, but—”
The blue eyes snap open. The killer's body straightens up, lifting his free hand and poking my chest.
“Me...?”
A nod.
“Fair, I guess them hurting you isn’t really the issue but they won’t hurt me either.”
His lack of movement makes me sigh. Without letting go of his face, I look over my shoulder at Loomis wondering how to even ask this.
“Loomis, can you get the police to clean up everything else while I... fix him up?”
“Is he...” Loomis steps back, “Are you sure? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just need you to get the police away cuz he thinks they’ll hurt me.”
“They’ll hurt you?!”
“Just... humor me, alright? Unless you wanna deal with him?”
Loomis rightfully hesitates but knowing the carnage in the next hall, he complies and turns back to face the police, telling them to, at the very least, put their guns away— to leave him alone and carry on with the crime scene clean up as normal— as normal as they can anyway. I look back at Michael, watching his shoulders lower as the cops holster their guns. Once a few start to leave to go get the cleanup team, he finally releases my wrist and steps back, waiting for me to lead him to the shower room.
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rainrot4me · 24 days ago
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Rain’s Creepypasta Masterlist
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▸ all of my works considering the creepypasta characters. posts, writing, headers, and dividers belong to me. enjoy yourself!
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HORNY FOR A KILLER? YEA, ME TOO ▸
misc
Kinktober 2024
Good Vibrations {jeff the killer} {eyeless jack} {ben drowned} - in which you own a vibrator
Sick Days - Coming Soon!
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blurbs
{one} {two}
one-shots
Do You Think About Her? - Jeff liked to tease Toby about his lack of experience with women. So, when coming home from a mission with the two, you decide to tell Jeff off, spurring him into a jealous fit to see how far he can push you both.
Clean Knife, Bloody Blade - When you refuse to get out of bed due to terrible cramps, Jeff tries his best to coax you back. But when you cry and whine to him, the killer presses to resolve your problem, willing to do whatever he can to help…
Three's A Crowd - Video games can be emotionally intense, especially when you’re butting heads with the two idiots yelling at each other. So when Jeff and Ben decide to break their tie in another way, you find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time: right in the middle.
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
General - Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jeff as a character.
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blurbs
{one}
one-shots
Just Relax - You’re stressed. Jack knows how to fix that.
series
On Unholy Terms {part 1} - You’re an exorcist sent by the church to investigate a graveyard deemed to be unholy. After stumbling upon a ‘demon’, your determination quickly falters.
headcannons
General - Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Jack as a character.
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blurbs
{one}
one-shots
Do You Think About Her? - Jeff liked to tease Toby about his lack of experience with women. So when coming home from a mission with the two, you decide to tell Jeff off, spurring him into a jealous fit to see how far he can push you both.
Return The Favor - Stumbling in on your neighbor’s chopped-up body, an unlikely friendship forms between you and Toby. Striking a deal, you agree to help the killer and his friends, buying them the necessary prescriptions. But when one visit turns to multiple, Toby becomes curious, finding a not-so-subtle love note hidden away.
My Muse - What if the Creepypasta characters were real-life killers idolized the same way horror movie slashers were? Kids dressing up as Ghostface or Pennywise? More like kids decorated as Jeff the Killer or Slenderman! You chose to dress as your favorite mass murderer, Ticci Toby- and, oh, how he couldn’t get enough of it. He had never seen someone look so good in his goggles.
series
Refuge For Two {part 1} - You decide to spend the weekend at your family’s cabin during a snowstorm after a particularly stressful week. When you find an injured Toby, your need to care for him turns into his need for you.
headcannons
General - Basic, SFW, and NSFW head-cannons. My personal thoughts, feelings, and opinions about Toby as a character.
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blurbs
{one}
one-shots
Behind The Veils - Hiking to capture the perfect sunrise photo for your portfolio, you stumble upon a supposedly abandoned cabin, your curiosity driving you to investigate. When you're met with two very large and very aggressive masked men, they decide that they'll put you to good use.
Let Me Hear You - Walking the same path every day while listening to music is your routine. Humming along, Masky makes it his routine to follow you. Until you wander somewhere you shouldn’t…
Outrun, Undone - Your body hurt, heaving and clawing to escape. They were catching up, laughter echoing through the dense trees as you ran, praying for your stamina to hold. But you knew you weren’t fast enough, and so did they…
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
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blurbs
Coming Soon
one-shots
Keep It Rolling - You and your friend decide to see if you can find ghosts in an abandoned asylum as you record the whole thing. When you run into Hoodie, he thinks it’d be fun to record you instead.
Behind The Veils - Hiking to capture the perfect sunrise photo for your portfolio, you stumble upon a supposedly abandoned cabin, your curiosity driving you to investigate. When you're met with two very large and very aggressive masked men, they decide that they'll put you to good use.
Outrun, Undone - Your body hurt, heaving and clawing to escape. They were catching up, laughter echoing through the dense trees as you ran, praying for your stamina to hold. But you knew you weren’t fast enough, and so did they…
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
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blurbs
{one}
one-shots
Whispers In The Woods - Prepped your whole life to complete a ritual to hand yourself over to a monster, you demand the reason why. When he gives you the answers, he demands your body.
Take It - Nightmarish visions drive you to seek out their sender, constant paranoia driving you mad. But when you find out he intends to make you work for him, he realizes you can’t be broken like the others. So he must take a more… intensive approach.
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
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blurbs
Coming Soon
one-shots
Three's A Crowd - Video games can be emotionally intense, especially when you’re butting heads with the two idiots yelling at each other. So when Jeff and Ben decide to break their tie in another way, you find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time: right in the middle.
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
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blurbs
Coming Soon
one-shots
Don't Close Your Eyes Yet - From the first moment he laid his eyes on you at the fairgrounds, Jack knew he needed you. So going about it the only way he knew how, he began to give you dreams of him, preparing you for the night he would eventually take you himself.
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
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blurbs
Coming Soon
one-shots
Smoke And A Light - When you're forced to remain a resident of the Slendermansion, hearing tales of the outside world is riveting. So, when Clockwork brings back some souvenirs, you couldn't possibly pass them up.
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
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blurbs
Coming Soon
one-shots
Better Than Him - Nina wanted nothing more than to impress Jeff. So, as her best friend, she sought your help on how to get his attention. But when a quick lesson on how to kiss turns intense quickly, you feel it's only right to prove to her she's worth more than him.
Pretty Girl - The bar was Nina’s scene, her favorite place to be with you by her side. But when some creep tries to extract revenge in the middle of a crowd, you’re both forced to do what you do best. But when confidence falters, you have to show just how worthless guys like that can be.
series
Coming Soon
headcannons
Coming Soon
▸ viewer discretion is advised 𐚁₊⊹
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charliemwrites · 10 months ago
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Fields of Elation
Part 1
Rating: E Warnings: Dubcon if you squint
The garden has become a riot of color in the last week.
Native blooms in every vibrant color you could find, praying for pollinators to watch from the reading nook. The first butterfly fluttered in yesterday morning while you sipped tea. You could have squealed with excitement, aching to tell someone and denying the twinge in your chest when you realized who “someone” was.
You’re not thinking of him now. No. Absolutely not. Gardens are not for blood-soaked, violent men that smell like gunpowder and smoke – and neither are your thoughts. Your thoughts are to be as sun-soaked as the flowers, bleached out by warmth and light. Depthless, shadowless.
There’s soil dusting your fingers. You kneel in the flossy grass to plant wooden dowels, support for drooping stems growing too tall, too fast. You’re endeared by them, that they’re exploding with so much life that they need a helping hand. Perhaps you’re anthropomorphizing them a bit too much. This little recess you’ve carved out of the world is beautiful but lonely.
You hum a soft tune as you bow twine, some happy new pop song about summer. Heard it on the radio in the grocery store and haven’t gotten it out of your head since. The back of your neck prickles.
“Missed your voice, bonnie.”
You yelp as big, rough hands scoop you from the ground. Strong fingers grip your thigh, a wide palm supports your ribs, tugging you close to a thick, muscular body. The rough fabric of tac gear sands against the exposed skin of your stomach. You flail until your arms loop around broad shoulders, a chuckle rumbling into the hollow of your throat.
“Missed that noise specifically.”
You gasp air for another shout, but get jostled up into a fireman’s carry, wind knocked out of you. There will be no screaming for your distant neighbors this time.
“Put me down,” you wheeze instead.
“In a mo’, love.”
You grunt indignantly as the ground blurs beneath you, tools left behind as powerful legs tread the path back to your little house. Spend the disconcertingly short journey thinking of new things to call him, since you’ve been running out.
There’s a heavy wooden thump.
“Don’t kick my door!” you screech.
“I’ll fix the damn door,” he growls back.
Your head spins as you’re dropped to your bare feet on the wood floors, just inside the back door. Steady yourself on corded forearms to catch your bearings, then open your mouth to give him a dressing down he hasn’t had since recruit days.
But a hot, wet tongue slides against yours, curling expertly into your mouth. Dry, warm lips pressing hard. That same arm curls around your chest to gather you close; the breadth of him steals your coherence as much his kiss. Your venomous words are superseded by a soft noise, one that you’ll deny is the admission of pleasure he takes it as.
When he pulls away, you find your fingers curled in the muted green of his shirt, knuckles pressed against his beating heart. Its pace matches yours.
You flutter your eyes open, find summer blue gazing back. Softer than the grass you just knelt in, warmer than the sun in your hair. You swallow back surrender, blink away admissions.
“I was in the middle of something, you bastard,” you snap.
John MacTavish grins back, crooked and arrogant, the scar beneath his eye pulling. “It’ll keep.”
“Then so will dinner.”
His eyes light up. You curse as you realize your mistake.
“You gonnae cook f’me, love?”
“No.” You back away, but it’s like trying to outrun the wind. He manages to make your deliberate retreat feel like a choice he’s making, hedging you deeper into the house. Back, back, unerringly corralling you towards the bedroom. You know it, but you’re helpless to stop it.
“S’alright, you’ve been cookin’ enough, I reckon,” he drawls. “Don’t mind makin’ somethin’ fer you.”
If by “cooking” he means cobbled together snacks that level out to something like nutritional balance, then yeah. You’ve been cooking for yourself.
“Not enough ingredients for two,” you snark, eyes sliding away in a show of dismissal. “You’ll have to starve.”
He smirks, balancing you with hands on your waist when you bump the bedroom door ajar. Your stomach clenches up like you’re on a rollercoaster. Know what’s coming next but dig your heels in anyway.
“Nah, just gonnae eat now.”
Your mouth drops open just as he pounces, squealing as your back hits the mattress. The ceiling is decorated in fairy lights you forgot to turn off this morning. They twinkle brightly as John wrestles your dirty cotton “work” shorts off your thighs, leaves them hanging off one calf.
“Goddamit!” you shout as he tears through yet another pair of underwear. Nothing special, mind, but it’s the principle of the thing. They’re not his to rip.
“Gotcha more ‘fore I came home.”
That doesn’t make it better, you try to tell him. What comes out is a warbling moan as he buries his tongue in your pussy. Licks from your shamefully leaking hole to your already-throbbing clit. He grunts in reply, deep and rough in his wide chest. Drops himself onto the floor for better access, pulling your thighs over his shoulders.
Eats you out like this really is his first and last meal. Sloppy and wet and loud, audible over the sounds you try to stifle behind your forearm because your hands are still dirty. Get away with it for all of a minute (being generous) before he’s pulling back just enough to speak – even if it’s right into your cunt.
“No, no, no, we have a deal,” he growls. You whimper as his hands clamp down on your squirming hips. “I’m home now, you’re mine. This pussy, those noises, they’re all mine again.”
Your hands fly to his hair as he dives in again, tangling in dark, course strands as he laps at you like a dog. If you could rally the brain power to speak more than unintelligible sounds, you’d mock him with that imagery. But knowing him, he’d revel in the comparison. Would bark just to prove a point.
You can’t stand that you know him.
“That’s it,” he rasps. “My goddess.”
You arch as he sucks your clit, flicking the tip of his tongue over the bundle of the nerves. Thumbs massaging into the plush of you. Stubble prickling a bit; you’ll have to remember to tell him off for that later.
“Missed me too,” he continues, flat of his tongue licking a long stripe up your slit. Strings of your slick web between his mouth and your pussy. “Dripping like you missed me, anyway.”
“D-didn’t,” you whine.
He chuckles, the absolute devil, humming as he curls his tongue inside you. Doesn’t believe you, doesn’t even deign to challenge it. Just keeps fucking you on his mouth, groaning when your twitchy fingers tug at his hair. Doubles his efforts, any semblance of restraint crumbling as the time and distance overwhelm his usually infallible patience. Overwhelm you too.
It’s been so long – since the night before he last left. You’re oversensitive and touch-starved and John is a feast for your body and soul. Lose everything to the tides of lust, the current of ecstasy. Washed out to a sea of bliss, floating on awful need. Tilt your hips into the next swipe of his tongue, back arching, thighs tightening as you shudder.
“John,” you keen, “John, Johnny.”
He makes a gutted noise. One hand jerking from your hip to slide two thick fingers into you. Tears gather and rebel down your cheeks as he zeroes in on that sweet, achy spot inside of you. He is a man for whom mercy is scarce and he has none to spare for you, stroking and tapping relentlessly. Your peak rushes up frighteningly fast, voice lost in the shock of it as you clamp down.
He works you through it, savoring your orgasm like the first inhale of smoke in his lungs. Keeps licking and rubbing until your sobbing with overstimulation, trying to scramble away.
“No, John,” you warble, “t-too much, please!”
The sound when he pulls away is utterly obscene. If you had any room in your empty brain for embarrassment, you’d wish for the mattress to swallow you whole. You flutter your eyes open and stare blankly at the fairy lights as you struggle to breathe.
John’s kissing your trembling thighs like he didn’t just ruin everything all over again, whispering devotion into your beard burn.
When you manage to sit up a bit on shaking arms, you find him kneeling there. A supplicant to the alter of your pleasure. Ruthlessly handsome, war-torn. His chin glistens with your slick. You reach to wipe it away, but he catches your wrist in a deceptively gentle hand. Keeps his blown-out eyes on yours as he presses a slow kiss into the center of your palm.
Words bubble in your chest, too honest, even for you.
“My hands are dirty,” you whisper.
“Never.”
You curl your fingers around his jaw. Tell yourself it’s not a caress, no matter how he leans into it. “When did you get back?”
“Eighteen hours.”
You bite the inside of your cheek. Gather your scattered wits. “You wore your damn boots in the house.”
He huffs with amusement, leans his forehead into your stomach. “I’ll mop.”
“You’ll shower first. You smell like travel.”
“You’re coming with me.”
“I have to finish in the garden.”
He scowls even with his eyes closed. You tap-tap-tap absently at his shoulder, where your hand has naturally come to rest.
“I’ll come out with you,” he grumbles.
“You’ll scare the birds.”
“Fuck the birds.”
You tsk, but there’s no force on earth that will keep him inside. “Mean bastard.”
He grins against your stomach. “Darling wife.”
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hoseoksluna · 7 months ago
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VAPOR, pt II. | jjk ft. myg
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pairing: boyfriend!jungkook x steam!oc 
genre: smut, a great dose of angst
word count: 11.9k
summary: hard times ask for extra care and like the healer he is, jungkook doesn't fail to give you his absolute best.
pinterest board: vapor | playlist: vapor
warnings: heartbreak, lots of tears, oral sex (f. and m. receiving), praise kink, sucking fingers, female masturbation, fingering, oc is extremely wet and jk is rly rly hard for her <3, squirting, multiple orgasms, jk tells her off kinda and it's hot, pet names, raw and rough sex, the abandonment issues are heavy in one part, mention of a sex toy
note: hi, my loves. this was absolutely painful to write, but i know i made a good decision. unfortunately for those who are waiting for the next series—i'm sorry, but this will have another part. it's already so long and if i kept going, it'd have probably like 20k plus words and i don't want to take up your time. i think i can manage to post the last part THIS week, so look forward to this. one part of the happy ending done. <3 i love you, guys, i hope you like this. don't hesitate to let me know; i worked hard and i want validation skfjslkfjsklfs. enjoy, my loves. <3
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A dead man for the fifth time, Jungkook finds the unfolding of the events quite ridiculous now. And he’s not surprised, how could he really be at this point, that there’s radio silence within the chambers of his heart. 
The food court is muted, the lights are ever still bright, but the corners of his eyes gain peculiar shadows that cling to the side of your face as you swirl your spoon in your hot soup. His phone is ringing and its obnoxious sound is but a vibration in his hand and the only thing that’s delaying him from sliding his thumb across his device is some sort of consent in your solemn, yet saddened features. He can see translucent threads lining your rounded lips that have sown your mouth shut, preventing you from speaking out your tender heart and it’s predominantly this thing, among the obvious other ones, that drives him to make a scene in front of all of these people crowded around him. 
If he has to, he will rip those wisps. Make it as painless as possible because whether he likes it or not, he needs you right now. Needs your word of advice, needs your consent in order to do what the entirety of his organs yearns to do. And if you say no, he’ll willingly turn his phone off and refuse to speak to his once-closest friend. 
Just for the sake of your mental health. Just to outrun fate and grasp her wrist to stop her from furthermore scarring your heart. 
You have enough of them and he has only one pair of lips to heal them. 
Lifting the spoon to your mouth, you keep your gaze on its silver coat and it unnerves him—the fact you won’t look at him, the fact that you so evidently don’t want to be in this situation. Your own boyfriend is chasing you around town, even though he transmitted waves of nothingness your way when he had you under his roof. He doesn’t fucking understand it. Doesn’t understand how he’s capable of doing such a thing and fury rises in his gut, soars high to his throat, which constricts around it so tightly that it forbids him from inhaling any oxygen into his lungs. And he fears that if he speaks, it’ll soak you. Make you even smaller than you are and he’ll hate himself for the rest of his life for it. 
However… 
He needs to talk to you. Time is pressing down on his shoulders once again and here and now, he’s too burdened, too fragile to bear it. His stoicism has long been fractured, its shards cracking cacophonously under the soles of his sneakers and… the singular tear rooting on his pale cheek hasn’t even dried up. 
“Tell me what to do, sweetheart,” Jungkook says, his voice a soft, deep murmur; a plea. His surroundings gain volume, little by little, the lack of air in his lungs causing his mind to spin. His body grows cold and, unwittingly, he bounces his leg underneath the table. “If you don’t want me to pick up this call, I won’t. It’s your decision.” 
He knows that whatever it is that will come out of your mouth and change the trajectory of his fury, he’ll protect you nonetheless. No matter what, no matter what it takes. He’ll unleash what’s been swarming in him for a long time in private sometime later if you ask for it—he’ll gladly tell his organs no and they’ll have to listen. That’s certainly not an issue. 
What will be an issue is if you remain quiet. He doesn’t know what will happen to him under that circumstance. He has very little trust in something that’s out of his grasp and he has  strong disliking for the looseness of it all. Doesn’t feel right. 
A quick, soft slurp of your soup. A lift of your weary eyes. A kick in his heart. “I don’t want to make any decision. If you want to pick up the call, you should. I don’t mind. If you don’t, that’s fine, too.” 
He must be dead because he’s staring at his own reincarnation. 
You’ve walked so far on your pathway of suffering that you reached the point that you don’t care anymore. Don’t care that there’s a risk Yoongi will see you or hear you. Don’t care about what’s going to happen when he does and about the events after. It’s as admirable as it is disturbing and a faint pulse begins to sound in his chest. Thrill nips at his skin; a sense of responsibility uncoiling within, linking to the surety of his instinct to protect you. To stand up for you. To make things right in a way, way different manner than he’s ever tried before and it’s those inclinations that drive his thumb to swipe across the screen. 
Though he doesn’t look at Yoongi. No, he looks at you, studying your features. It’s not that he doesn’t trust your words, he does and vehemently so, but this is a difficult situation that you’re both in and it would be only understandable if the gravity of it washed over you all of a sudden and you weren’t comfortable with this anymore. He wouldn’t hesitate to end the call right away. Fuck what Yoongi thinks. 
But nothing changes about your weariness. It’s a still pool of water, unmoving and utterly impenetrable, like the pond behind his cabin during cold, winter times. When this is over, he promises to get warm and dip his fingers in, permeate your skin with rosiness and coziness. Stall the change of seasons unfurling in you. 
And Jungkook pleats that promise into the palm of your hand as he takes it, his thumb against your head line. Watches you stuff your mouth full with noodles. His own stomach churns, the fury half parting, making a way for his hunger to suffuse his senses. He’s so happy you’re eating that all he can think about is how he’s going to make your life better with this one singular video call. 
He leaves you to it and focuses his gaze down on Yoongi. His once-close friend is driving in his car and despite the shit view he has of him, due to his service and the way Yoongi’s phone is angled, he can still see the way he’s swathed by murkiness. The purple marks under his eyes are a stark contrast to the pallidness of his skin and his hair is a mess, tufts of black strands sticking in different directions as if he had been on the verge of ripping his hair out. He has one hand on the steering wheel, while the other runs over his upper lip. Over and over, back and forth, waiting, patiently, for Jungkook’s attention. 
He starts speaking once he knows he has it. 
“Sorry to bother you, I didn’t know who else to call.” He sighs and explains that he’s calling because of you, the mention of your name causing his voice to crack. “I drove up to her apartment, but she’s not there. She told me she was going to her place when she… when she… left.” 
So he heard you loud and clear, and yet he didn’t have the decency to respond to you, make you know that you were heard. Jungkook looks at you and this time you look back at him, too. A tight, painful exchange of glances. He squeezes your hand, even as Yoongi continues. 
“She’s not picking up the phone. I’m worried about her—”
Jungkook is swift with his words. “You should’ve thought of that before you let her leave,” he snaps, his whole body tense, hanging yet again by the thread. He keeps his hold over your hand gentle, despite it all—despite the fact that his form yearns to explode. “You’re too reckless. Leave her alone.” 
Your eyes widen while Yoongi’s narrow, but he doesn’t regret what he said. He knows there’s utmost truth in them, something that should scramble his brain until he comprehends it. Yoongi’s mouth purses in a tight line and his fist clenches before he places it on the steering wheel with a thud. 
“Don’t talk to me like this. I don’t need this,” Yoongi mutters, pulling out his hyung card and while it angers Jungkook even more, he also thinks that’s the biggest load of bullshit that has ever come out of his mouth. “I need to know where she is.” 
He gazes intently at you as he says, “It’s none of your business.” 
And those big eyes of yours round in a good emotion that he can’t really recognize and slowly, you swallow down your noodles. Speechless, he deduces. A tendril of adrenaline courses in him, strengthening his responsibility and protectiveness over you, kissing it ever so sweetly when you squeeze his hand. 
A validation. 
Jungkook could stay like this. He wouldn’t mind at all—it feels too nice. Feels like you’re his. And perhaps at this very moment you are. 
The feeling is so overwhelming that he doesn’t give two shits about the fact Yoongi is detonating on the other side of the screen. He keeps his eyes on you. 
“What the fuck do you mean it’s none of my business? Is she with you?” 
It’s at this moment that a proud smile curls Jungkook’s lips. And it’s joy that absorbs his organs, his heart beating loudly and clearly. Even the people around him seem happier in his peripheral vision. He thinks this night tops in the best days he’s ever had. 
Tension has grabbed a hold of you, too. But he will make it better. He’s got you. 
He continues with the truth and he’s not afraid of it. Not at all. 
“Yes, she’s safe with me.” 
Those words, most peculiarly, soothe Yoongi’s rage. Silence fills his car, one that forces Jungkook to flick his eyes to his phone because he truly can’t believe what’s happening. Yoongi runs his hand down his face and nods once, the murkiness loosening a fair bit before it pulps him. It’s now that he becomes small. A tiny boy, at the hands of his own repercussions. Displeased, but relieved. A strange, strange sight.
“Good,” Yoongi says and Jungkook’s stomach drops. “She should be with you. You’re better than me in ways I could never be. She doesn’t need me anymore.” 
Your mouth parts and a vexation of your own clutches you. Enough for you to drop your spoon and lift your hand, palm up. The adrenaline in Jungkook’s system thickens. “Give me the phone.” 
Yoongi's head turns to the screen at the sound of your irritated voice and Jungkook’s smile widens, handing you the device. He knows what you’re about to say will put an end to this difficult situation and he’s eager to hear it, eager for it to happen. 
“Careful, don’t make him crash his car,” Jungkook whispers, ever so smug, just for your ears, but on the other hand, he doesn’t care if it finds a way to your boyfriend’s as well. You gaze at him most solemnly, fleetingly, and he can’t read shit in your expression. He’s not troubled by it, however; he wants you to let loose in whatever form of your choosing, of your liking. You deserve it, to be boundless like that. It’s been a long time coming.
His phone in your hand is too large and he finds it so cute that it helps him relax. Without withdrawing his hand, he hunches over his soup, getting his utensils ready. 
And his first taste of his meal is as good as the first words you hurl at Yoongi. 
“Are you joking right now? Is that all you have to say after everything? You’re actually unbelievable,” you spit, shooting daggers at the screen, your brows furrowed, a lethal glare directed at him. Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but he hears him sigh. “I’d like you to know that it’s my decision that I’m with him. Not yours. You’re not in control of it and you never will be again. I’m with him because I want to be with him, not because you let me be with him or because you think it’s good.” 
Your voice rises in volume ever so slightly, respectful of your surroundings, but untethering your heart free nonetheless. A tortured pain coats it, despite the fact you’re holding yourself strong and it drives Jungkook to let go of his spoon, unable to eat when he feels your agony in all its raw immensity. You struck his awe and all he can do is watch you make order of your life. For your sake and also, most remarkably, for his. A beautiful, beautiful sight.
Love unable to be real turning away, slowly, from the dead end. 
“So, we’re over?” Yoongi asks, small—small voice. Jungkook has never heard it before and butterflies zap his stomach with the strongest electricity they could come across. 
Your face doesn’t change and you don’t hesitate to unleash your next words. “I think you should go see other people and heal from this mess. You’ve grown too attached to your own fucked up impressions and you need a reality check.” 
Such coldness, such brutality. Jungkook can’t breathe—finds it hard to believe this is happening right now, that angels are by his side, keeping his bloodstream flowing. He feels as though he’s dreaming again due to the speck of vagueness in your answer. Yes, you’ve told him to go see other people, but he’s also aware that Yoongi needs the raw truth on a silver platter. If there’s anything he hates with all his being, it’s the abyss of obscurities. It’s the space in his brain for him to make up for the emptiness of your words. 
Jungkook intertwines his fingers with yours, his thumb fondling the crook between your thumb and your forefinger, giving you the little strength he possesses in him—the last of it, all he has. 
Are you breaking up with him or are you taking a break? 
Jungkook longs to know, perhaps he needs it, too, even though both options are more than merciful for such a wretched dreamer like him. A dreamer that has stumbled upon gold in a poor, poor world. 
“Honey, please.” Yoongi breaks into sobs and it’s now, now as Jungkook hears the sound of a raw emotion from such a detached person that he softens, his fury snuffed out in a blink of an eye, and he can’t feel his arms, nor his legs. He realizes, most strangely, that it’s his friend, one he spent the last ten years of his life with. The aftertaste of copper pools in his mouth again and his own eyes wet. Yours, too, your chin quivering the more you take in his devastated state. “I can’t do this without you. I–I don’t know how to.” 
Despite your tenderness, your words remain firm. “I think you’ve managed quite well these past few days. You’ve pushed me away, needed space. So go have it. I won’t suffer through it, though. I’ll do what I want, you should, too. You need to heal in the only way you know how. Alone.” 
Yoongi sniffles, taking long breaths to seemingly calm his shuddering lungs. And pity enfolds his heart, pity for his friend that he’s become such a wreck and that he’s a witness to it, more than the cause behind it. He puts the latter to the side, now is not the right time for it. 
He knows what will happen to him once he breaks the dam of self-blame. It’s not what you need right now and he will make sure to keep that dam of your own safe and stable. It’s his duty. 
“Will you wait for me?” Yoongi asks and Jungkook feels that question curl around his gut. With a light layer of sadness, he returns to his food, his stomach grumbling. 
You sigh, swiping your fingers under the skin beneath your lower lashes, perhaps so Yoongi doesn’t see your weakness. Jungkook watches you as he slurps on his noodles, nervous—terribly, terribly nervous. 
“I don’t know if I’m able to trust you like that again,” you conclude, taking a big breath and Jungkook chokes on his food, coughing so hard that you untangle your hand from his and slap his back. “Gotta go. I’ll call you later.” You end the phone call and gently lay down his phone, rubbing his back soothingly as Jungkook splutters. “Are you okay? What happened?”
What happened? You gave him life. Made a pathway for his dreams to come true. Gave him a leeway to walk upon this earth with no weight on his shoulders. Turned something inaccessible accessible. 
Love unreal becomes real, running headlong in the opposite direction of the dead end. 
The last of his aching coughs emit out of his throat and he swallows, lungs heaving with freedom and easy, easy breaths. The air is different, the oxygen much sweeter. You put his tall glass of water into his hand, encouraging him to drink, never letting go of him as Jungkook takes a big sip, the cold liquid washing away all of those dark ashes left from the fire of his fury. His vision blurs once he looks at you in this new, shifted reality and there’s a smile to his face, calmness surging through his body, exhilaration most needed twining around it. 
“You tell me,” Jungkook says, almost out of breath—out of his mind. “What just happened?” 
You go back to your soup, squeeze your fried egg open with your chopsticks. “I’m not letting him hurt me again. I don’t have to be strong and take it, do I?” With the yolk spilling in, you push the entirety of the egg white into your mouth, huffing in delight, rolling your eyes back and chewing, cheeks puffed up like a little squirrel. His own utensils go slack in his hand, watching you enjoy your food, his heart enlarging. But then you furrow your brows and stop chewing. “Fuck, it’s cold, but it’s so good.” You sigh and resume chewing, your eyes flicking across the table, your body bouncing excitedly in your seat. You act as though you didn’t just break your own boyfriend’s heart—as if you led a normal conversation with him, in which he was just checking up with you. Jungkook’s awe is so struck that he can’t speak. Can’t eat. Can’t do anything but watch you with all that love abounding in his being for you. And then you flick your eyes to his and the wrinkle between your brows deepens. “Why aren’t you eating? Is it too cold?” 
He calls your name, firmly. Leans back in his seat with a big sigh. Rubs his eyes with his fingers. “What just happened?” 
There’s simply no way this is real. 
You devour your noodles, swallowing spoonfuls of soup. “I ended things with him, Jungkook, and I’m not coming back to him.” 
His mouth dries, heart picks up speed. How are you saying this with such ease? Isn’t your heart split in two? Your devotion clung to his guy with every breath you took and back at his cabin, you wouldn’t let him play with you unless Yoongi was present. How come it seems like you’re anything but heartbroken right now? 
“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks in all honesty, confounded by your behavior. 
You push away your bowl, cradling your full belly. “Yes, I’m okay.” 
He doesn’t really believe you. Losing your appetite was proof enough. “Positive?” 
You look over to the side and your chin begins to quiver. There it is. Your hand flies to your face and you hide the rupture of your pretense behind it. The corners of your face, the only parts he gets to see, flush in red and Jungkook grabs your things with a heavy, sinking heart. Walks over to you and gives you his hand. 
“Let’s go home, sweetheart.” 
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The weeping clouds have migrated not just to your eyes but to his, too. The night is deep and Jungkook feels it, ardently, coming to rest beneath his skin, floating on its back upon the stream of his tears that he’s stifling. He’s holding your hand and your purse as he’s leading you to his place. You didn’t want to see the face of your apartment. As a matter of fact, you couldn’t stand anything that reminded you of Yoongi and you begged him to take you somewhere you’ve never been before. Jungkook only nodded, brushing away the tears that managed to escape. Thought he’d bring you to any place you’d ever ask, just as long as you stuck with him. 
He’s gained what he wanted for a long time, but at what cost? The two people he loves the most are broken. One, his dearest, he’s grasping tightly so she wouldn’t fly away. The other is becoming but a memory, ten years going down the drain—never to be seen again, never to be continued. 
He has you, but he lost Yoongi. And the realization hangs, heftily, over his clavicles, swinging back and forth, kicking into his chest. 
He can’t stand the sight of him either, however. How strange. 
Once inside the warmth of his apartment, he can’t help but rid you of the hideous flannel of his that you’re wearing, bunching it up in his fists and throwing it away to the corner of his bench on the side of his wall without you knowing. With his hand on the small of your back, he guides you to his living room and he lets you skim your sight all around it, slipping his fingers under the hem of your tiny top, just touching you there. White walls, brown leather couch, a TV that takes up the most of the space alongside the kitchen with a plain dining area consisting of an old wooden, rectangular table with four chairs. A huge singular space of nothingness that has never felt home-like, not until you’ve stepped inside. 
Now, all of a sudden, it has colors. Vibrant, yet soft-toned with each inhale of his breath. You bring your oxymorons everywhere you go and they stay where you reside, even if you move someplace else. The evidence of it is in his very body. While he feels at his most fragile, he also senses himself to be strong. Strong enough to take care of you right at this moment, be there for you and give you anything you’d ever want. And while his eyes are still wet, cheeks bedewed by his softness, he also wants to break this place—self-blame creeping in, threatening to emerge from the hidden spots somewhere within the battlefield of his chest. 
This is his fault. Had he never said yes, you wouldn’t be in pain and neither would his friend be. But in that scenario, he wouldn’t know you existed. Wouldn’t have you. Would lead a forlorn life, with his paints and his alcohol. 
You would be happy with Yoongi. Radiant, glowy. With your glitters, your little dresses. Your nighttime robes and your little lingerie. 
Would you? Has he ruined your happiness? Has he ruined you? 
Jungkook turns you around to him. He needs to ask you; he needs to have the certainty, otherwise he won’t sleep tonight. Won’t even close his eyes—the thoughts would eat away his drowsiness. Leave only wakefulness in their wake. Jungkook presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there, formulating his words, carefully. His hands clutch your shoulders. Your frail, slender shoulders. 
Yoongi devastated your appetite enough that you lost all your soft fleshiness. He took it away and he doesn’t even perceive it. It was clear to him by the way you pushed your plate away, when your emotions rushed through; you didn’t have to say a word. And although he grieves the personal loss, still this is something he’ll never forgive him for. 
“Would you have been happy if you never knew me?” he asks, subduedly, torment clawing at his vocal cords. “Would you have been happy with him?” 
A teardrop spills down your cheekbone, plopping onto the material of your top, soaking it. You furrow your brows, seem angry at his choice of words and he regrets them, enough that his mouth rounds in a tender emotion that he’s too weak to stifle back. And then you bunch up his T-shirt, just like you did earlier in the dressing room, and there’s a tendril of relief that maybe he didn’t fuck up so majestically. He wants to weep; holding them back pains him too much and that ease, that repose is all he wants. It’s not that he’s shy or unwilling to let out his feelings—it’s just that he’s putting yours above his, deeming them more important. He wants to be strong for you, someone you can lean on—and how can he do that for you when he’s crumbling on the inside? 
“How can you say that to me?” you ask in disbelief and Jungkook wants to rewind back the time. Wants to keep quiet and just hold you through this fateful night. He winces, looking away, his own chin quivering this time and he can’t—he can’t hold back. He possesses no strength. A tear trickles down his cheek, one full of agony, hot against his skin and he whimpers, he whimpers when you cradle his face in your hands, step on your tippy toes and press your lips against his. Your mouth is so warm and he’s shivering with cold; silky while his are ruined by the constant biting he did in the car. He is a ruination—how can you want him? He ruined your relationship. And now even his tears have stained your angelic, pure face. 
“I feel like I’ve ruined everything,” he admits and his chest hurts, lungs tight, body trembling in that persisting cold. “I’ve ruined your relationship. I’ve ruined your life. Yoongi’s. Caused so much pain, so much trauma. Only because I let my friends convince me into going out when I came back from the military.” 
The wrinkle between your brows smooths down and you pout, caressing his face. Jungkook can’t halt the rivulet of his liquid emotions. Not when he feels your love so awfully intensely, embracing him around and around, tightening, giving him a sense of safety. 
“Can I tell you something?” You take his hand in yours and Jungkook already misses your warm touch on his face. He nods. “Where’s your room?” 
He leads you there and you crawl onto his bed, patting the space beside you, curling on your side. He mirrors your position and you prop the side of your leg on his, intertwining your fingers with his on the bedding, moving his hand to your mouth. 
And your words seep into his fist. 
“We were together for five months and I never met his family. Never met his friends, except you. I never really thought about it in depth because he kept me busy, despite the fact all we did was fuck. It was enough for me, I guess, because I’d been alone for a long, long time before I met him. And I’m a bit of a loner myself so I didn’t mind that we spent all of our time in his apartment, fucking and watching movies. It wasn’t until I met you, Jungkook,” you pause, taking a big breath in, fondling his knuckles with your thumb, soothing him, soothing the drowsiness that is suddenly falling upon him like a blanket, waving off his tears, drying them. “That I realized it’s not really supposed to be like this in my life. I remember that night when he was out with you and I was in the bathroom. I thought about when was the last time he took me out and I shivered. I shivered, Jungkook. It was the first seed sown and I didn’t know. And when you came into my life, I spent my weekends out with you. You took me to your cabin, you took me out to dinner dates. Even today you took me to the mall. I realized it’s supposed to be like this. Yoongi never did that.” 
Your words tingle across his fist and he’s quick with his own. “But were you happy?” 
So are you. You don’t hesitate. “I thought I was, but the way I’m happy with you can’t compare to the way I thought I was happy with him.” 
The truth wafts in the air, sweetening it and another onrush of tears come out of his tear ducts. He leans in closer to you, nose to nose, sniffling, sobbing quietly and you kiss his hand. Over and over, breathing against his skin. Light opens in him as the truth unfolds—with the little time he had with you, he managed to make you happier. Not just happy, but happier.
“I had a lot of time to think about this. It wasn’t just today that he didn’t speak to me. He barely did throughout the week, but today was the worst of it all and I couldn’t take it anymore. It hurt, it hurt so much,” you continue and Jungkook knows how much it pains you, when Yoongi abandons you over and over, clawing his fingernails in your scars. He’s glad, brims completely with that gratefulness that it also rolls down his cheeks, mingling with his tears, that you were strong enough to put a stop to it—as hard as it was. “And you know what I think? Yoongi needs someone like that. Someone who’s a much bigger loner than I am. Someone who’s okay with staying home, with keeping things casual. He needs a friend and I’ll continue being that for him, but not in the way he wants. I’ll be there for him, but not as closely as he was used to, you know? It has to be a process. I can’t just disappear out of his life. I don’t have the heart to do that.” 
Extending his arm, Jungkook invites you to rest your head against his bicep—only because he yearns to touch you. Without untangling your intertwinement, you lay against him, breathing in his scent and Jungkook wraps the same arm around your shoulders, cocooning you in. Body to body, his lips against your forehead. You look up at him and he looks down at you, a profound exchange of glances. The reality shifts once more, the energy deepens, filling it with something beyond affection and love—fate thickening the air, intense, earnest and impassioned. And submitting to it, Jungkook raises your chin and kisses you, deeply, slipping his tongue inside just briefly. Kisses your cheek, your neck, your shoulder, hides himself in that crook, breathing with you and nothing else.
A brand new reality. 
He can’t help but think about how smart you are. How admirable, how good. How well you handled everything, how well you made an order out of your life and ultimately out of Yoongi’s, too. Like Jungkook will take care of you, you will take care of Yoongi—not leaving him on his own with his shattered heart and mental health. He just hopes that sometime soon, he will be able to have a part in it, too. It’s his utmost wish. No matter how upset he was with him, how strongly he disliked him in certain moments, it’s still a person he loves, a person he spent the last ten years of his life with. A family, almost. 
“Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?” Jungkook whispers, squeezing you against his body, drawing you closer until your lungs and his gain that singular synchronization. Your leg straddles his torso and he grows greedy, needing you even closer. Needing to get underneath your skin. 
“I’ll try my best to make it happen,” you whisper back, running your fingers through his hair. The light that shines in your eyes faintly illuminates his shadowy room and it’s precisely the one he longed to see. Something tells him it’s here to stay and it drives his thumb to caress your wet lashes, the skin beneath your eyes, your rose-kissed cheek. 
Jungkook trusts you. You’re such a badass that you will succeed in anything you set yourself out to do. And he tells you. Asks you if you want to take a bath. Thinks it will distract your heart from what it knows, from what it’s used to. Teach it something new—something you will connect only with him.
And your reaction enlarges his heart to the point that it breaks his ribcage. Your eyes widen, its light erupting, blinding him, and you gasp, lifting your whole body and grabbing his shirt in your fists. He chuckles in endearment. 
“You have a bathtub?” 
And your eyes almost fall out of their sockets at the sight of it once he carries you to his bathroom and sets you down. He kisses the back of your head, his hands on your hips, guiding you closer to the bathtub, reaching over to lift the tap and let hot water pour down. You both need it after such an emotionally-exhausting day and Jungkook is eager to get in with you. 
“Stay here. Don’t strip. I’ll get your candle,” Jungkook says, lowly, squeezing your hips once and caressing your bum as he turns around and heads to the kitchen. 
He wants to be the one who takes off your clothes. Plans to do something with you he hasn’t done in a long while, something he deems you deserve after everything you’ve been through. He grabs your mango-scented candle, your bag of cheese balls, a lighter and a chair and returns to you. 
You’re crouching by the bathtub, your hand flowing in the hot water, its steam curling, tenderly, your hair cascading down your back. Jungkook pats the back of your head to announce that he’s come back and you smile up at him, your eyes big and twinkling, so magnificent that he grows weak in the knees, butterflies fluttering their wings in his stomach. 
Lighting up your candle, you watch as he does it, each three knots flaring up to life and suffusing the air with a balmy, tropical scent. He sets it down on the chair and, helping you stand up to your feet, he doesn’t waste a second. His fingers hook under the hem of your top and fling it out. And because he knows you’ve never bared yourself like this before him, he hides your nakedness by pressing you against his chest, your soft breasts a pleasure, his digits sliding beneath your leggings and dragging them down your hips, looking over your shoulder. You shimmy out of them, moving your hips ever so delightfully and before he knows it, he’s on his knees—kissing the apex of your thighs as he takes your feet out of the pant legs. And he thinks he could stay here all his life. 
Jungkook looks up at you as he removes your socks, kissing your knee without breaking the gaze, and he hopes that you can sense his love for you in it, the unyielding stability that he will cling to you with his body and soul—simply, with his entire being. 
Rising slowly, he kisses his pathway up, leaving behind the translucent evidence of that love. Your mound, which makes you giggle, a celestial symphony to his ears, your full tummy where he hopes your invisible rose tattoos still are, both sides of your ribs, the middle of your breasts, your sternum, your collarbones, your throat, your chin—up and up until his lips find yours. And he devours them. With such vigor that you hum into his mouth, your hands reaching for his shirt again. 
Oh, you want him to get in as well. Very well. 
He wanted to be the witness to your relaxation, but if it’s your desire that he shares it with you—by all means. He lets you take off his shirt, lifting his arms for you, and you’re quick to allow your hands to discover the parts they don’t know. His mole beneath his left pec that he caught you staring at shortly after that turn of events at the cabin. You press your mouth against it, unravel your love for it there by grazing your teeth against it before you lick it over with your tongue, going as far as marking the spot right beside it. Jungkook sinks his fingers in your hair, reveling in it, tummy tingling, holding you like that as you do what you please. Your own digits descend to his pants, setting him free from them and when you get on your knees just like him, his cock tightens in your face. 
And he dies, angels know for how many times today, when you rub your face in this intimate part of him, his heart bursting.
Not now—he can’t let you do that now. He wants your muscles to relax first before he can strain them all over again, in a much different way. 
“My sweetie,” he starts, sighing, rubbing your scalp. He takes you by the back of your neck, sliding his hand underneath your armpit, and drags you up. A healthy, radiant flush adorns you and he’s glad for the paleness to be gone. Glad his body is the cause of it. It makes his heart happy. “Not now. Let’s get in the tub.” 
Your stiffened nipples brush against his bare chest and he almost doubles over, loving the feeling of it. The sigh that leaves your mouth, so akin to his, too. 
“But you’re hard,” you whisper, tugging down his boxers until his cock springs free and you immediately wrap your small hand around it, squeezing him lightly. 
He can’t help but to grunt, the faint pleasure dizzying. He missed your hand, missed your touch. Haven’t had it in so long. It fits so well in your fist and he believes, in all seriousness, that it belongs to you. It’s yours. 
He brushes his lips against yours, but he doesn’t kiss you. His brain malfunctions a little bit, the pleasure you’re giving him zapping his dominance. “You like holding me like this?” 
You fondle his tip with your thumb and he hisses, sparks of electricity coursing down his body and he hums at the aftershocks. So good. He feels his arousal drip for you; feels himself lengthening in your hand. You nod, watching it happen, and while it feels nice to be looked at like that, he wants your eyes on him. He cradles your face in one hand, making you look at him, and he pecks you. At the contact, you finally nod your head. Jungkook envelops his palm around your fist and guides you to squeeze him harder, groaning onto your mouth. 
“You’re such a good girl,” he praises and embraces you, hiding himself in the crook of your neck again, inhaling you. Petrichor, mango, your personal scent. It’s all he wants to breathe in for the rest of his life. It’s what heaven must smell like. Actually, heaven must be what he’s hugging. 
You whimper and for it Jungkook tightens his hold around you. Skin to skin. He’ll never get over it. “I love being good for you.” 
He hums his approval, following the cascade of your hair down your back with his palm, rooting at your bum, grasping the flesh. “You’re the best girl. Let’s get you clean.” 
The loss of contact aches and he can see it even on your face, an adorable pout forming on your mouth. Helping you get in the bathtub, you wait until he joins you and it’s only then that you sit down, unsure of how both of you are going to fit in such a small space like this. Knees in between his, you exchange a few giggles in the awkwardness of it all before Jungkook kisses them and leads you to lean back against him, your spine against his chest, your body getting lost in his. 
Turning off the tap, the water is scorching but pleasant, his muscles relaxing, the very little remnants of the fight of his self-blame tearing apart at last. It must be as enjoyable for you because once you settle in and you take in the heat, the effect of the candle, the dimmed light and the soft shower of rain pittering against the windows, you let loose completely, your head slack against his sternum, breathing steadily, eyes fluttering closed. Jungkook wraps his arms around you, your breasts pressed against them, and he loves the feeling of your raw femininity in his hands, in such a nonsexual context. His arousal might be alive and longing for you, but that feeling, somehow, overweighs it in a way he’s unable to understand. 
He doesn’t mind; he could stay like this. 
And both of you do for some time, feeling each other’s top halves of bodies, resting, thinking of nothing, until you tip your chin and, puckering your lips, you ask for a kiss. Arch your back until your breasts bounce free from his hold. His cock twitches against your back from the sight and you smirk. 
Sly little girl. He cages them once again, though this time quite differently. One hand grabs the flesh at the base, the other sneaks to your chin, your other breast nudged in the crook of his elbow. His finger traces the lines of your lips, flattened now, kissing it every once in a while. And as if it was a signal for you to open up when he stalls his movement in the middle, you open up for him. And the feeling of your tongue, the suction of your lips, the sound of it all—it drives him to head down the path of absolute madness. 
He might have just found his ultimate weakness. 
Jungkook adds a second finger in, when you angle your body, so he can have a good view of it, your head propped against the bathtub wall, lidded eyes fixed on him. 
So much for relaxing. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, swiftly, causing your brows to knit in confusion. It humors him, but you’re not getting your way that easily. 
“You should relax,” he scolds in a teasing manner, not meaning a word of it. “You’ve had a long day of shopping.” 
You laugh through your nose, a soft smile gracing your lips and for a split second, Jungkook wonders if he didn’t ruin the moment again by altering the reality again, bringing back the memory of what’s happened. If he didn’t invite in your guilt, perhaps. You’re here with him, about to be made love to, while the person you still love is dealing with brokenness on the other side of the city. 
And he tells you in the form of a kiss sunk into your cheek, drawing your body closer to him, cradling the back of your neck, squishing you against him. It causes you to turn your body to the side, slightly, and Jungkook hikes you higher, letting you lean your face against his cheek like that, pecking you over and over again. There isn’t enough body of water to overspill from the tub, but your shifting caused small waves to lap at your body and Jungkook finds himself transfixed by the sight of it. It seems as though the ripples are worshiping your body and an inkling to do the same, to do better, rises in him—as well as the impulse to tell you with words this time. 
He should verbally communicate with you. Just to be safe. 
“Did I remind you of it again?” 
Your fingertips follow the valleys of his abdomen, half dipped in the water. 
“Remind me of what?” you say and there’s a striking gentleness to your voice, some kind of blissfulness that feels terribly foreign to him. “Of my freedom?” 
A bearable tightness clutches his chest, interlaced, most heartily, with the simplicity of his shock. Freedom. With his directions, you set yourself free. It should be something to perhaps honor and rejoice over—so why is there still a morsel of pity swarming in him? He needs you to tell him. 
A streamlet of tears blurs his vision. Because his clinginess to you intensifies with each move forward, for the most part. Because he feels bad for his friend, for the lesser. 
“Why do I feel so bad for him?” Jungkook questions, pressing you harder against him until there isn’t any more space to push you into. 
You plop your body onto his. Chest to chest. Tummy to tummy. His cock, a bit soft now, against your femininity. Nonsexually, in all its beauty. You drag your thumbs under his waterline, collecting his essence of pain. His heart constricts. 
“My freedom is his,” you say, still holding him like that—both palms on his cheeks. “We’d be stuck in a circle like this. We’d go round and round until one of us would burst and end things eventually. He’d never fully heal in this environment. He’d never look past his own insecurities, not when I’d continue to enjoy myself with you the way I always did.” 
He thinks the merry go round had already begun the moment he and Yoongi made up and tried again. And considering the last thing he said to him on the phone today, there’s nothing left to do but to accept it. 
Your freedom is his. Those words ring in his headspace, settling there. By unbuckling yourself from the seat of that ride, you did the same for him. And while you got off, Yoongi still remains seated. 
For now. 
He’ll get out of there. Jungkook believes in him. 
“I’m meant to be with you,” you say and his heart goes wild, violently, under your forearm. For you. You’ve said it. You’ve made it official. Brought it into this new reality and Jungkook could weep again—and he does. Touched by his emotions, you kiss his tears, sighing against them. “I’m yours, Jungkook. Have been the moment I looked into your eyes the very first time.” 
Your bare, boundless truth drives him to reveal his, too. Such power you have, such strength. 
“You know I have feelings for you, right?” he murmurs, an allusion to the way you wept together in the dressing room, brushing your hair back, feeling his tenderness radiating off of his eyes, immensely. How easy it is, to tell you something groundbreaking like that, even as absurdly as he did. “Don’t let go of me. Don’t let go of those feelings. Keep them safe.” 
Your own tears pool in your waterline and you nod, a smile glinting upon your lips. So you knew, felt the love like he did, enkindled by your mutual release. He wasn’t wrong. His heart pounds and for the first time upon this trajectory, this doesn’t feel unreal. It feels real. Alive, possible, full of life. 
“I do, too. Held them in for so long. Never admitted it to myself for his sake. But that’s over now. I’ll keep it safe. All of you, Jungkook.” 
You love him. 
His sobs gather in his sternum, his lungs too small to capture them in place. 
You love him. And it’s real. 
Gripping your hair, he kisses you, deeply. And both streams of tears turn into one river—and both of you can’t halt the hunger creeping in. The hunger for more, for your love to burst at last and absorb your reality. Tongues mingling, tasting something new. Teeth clashing, lips tingling. Breaths hard and ragged. Jungkook can’t take it. Can’t hold back his body from lifting off of the rounded wall of the tub, the water sloshing and splashing all around. 
And then you say something that grazes his madness ever so unmercifully. 
“Put it in.” 
He groans, biting your bottom lip, fingertips making dents on your small waist. Horny girl, asking for something you can’t handle. He swears, his arousal awakening yet again in full speed, taking over him wholly. “I haven’t stretched you out yet.” 
You grind your femininity against his tightening cock and he’s done for, feeling your pulse. “Stretch me out like this.” 
He squeezes your ass hard, making you moan onto his mouth, in effort to make you listen to him and submit to his better knowing. “It’ll hurt, sweetheart.” 
Your breath wafts over him as you close your lips over his, sucking. “I can take it.” 
Such a stark contrast to the words you uttered in the dressing room. His madness heightens. So much that he moans into your lip lock, dipping you in the water to make you laugh, clutching onto him as you yelp, your adorable laughter vibrating through the bathroom, bouncing off of the walls and sneaking, in the long run, into the chambers of his heart, coming to live there.  
This is happiness. 
And the vibrations are too, too much for him to handle. So unusual, so beautiful. 
“Hold onto me,” Jungkook commands as he wraps your legs around his torso tighter and rises, stepping out of the bathtub and reaching for a towel in his cabinet while his other hand holds you steady by his forearm under your bum like a child. 
Leaving you to your own strength for a second, he wraps the large fabric around you both, bunching the ends in his fist on your back, exiting out of the bathroom and laying you down onto his bed. Your hair sprawls on his bedding and he thinks you look like an angel, maddened just the same by something beyond lust, by something way purer. He kisses your lips, fleetingly, and begins to focus on your neck, unfurling his love there. He sucks your wet skin, licking it all over, scattering his hard kisses there—the ones that drive you wild, moaning loudly and bravely, deservingly so. And he marks this victorious day there with pretty, pretty colors of red and purple. Doesn’t stop. Not until you beg him, writhing underneath him, excited and eager. 
“Please, Jungkook, take me.” 
Such sweet, innocent words. He listens, cooing, dragging you further up on the bed, so he can lie on top of you and take his hard kisses further down, marking all the places where your invisible tattoos are, bringing them to life all over again. Above both of your nipples, especially on the right one, where that frilly rose was, covering the peak. And he feels you melt, feels you soak his lower abdomen when he sucks on that nub, flicking his tongue, making you cry out so beautifully, so desperately that his arousal for you rigidifies. And when he looks at his artwork, fists propped on either side of you like his knees, it steals all of his breath. 
“You look so beautiful like this. All mine.” 
All his, wet with the last drops of water, with the pearls of his saliva, with your essence coating your folds. Adorned with red tattoos. He has his own on his arm and hand, except on his chest and he thinks the one he gave you make up for it. Thinks they’re his as much as they’re yours and it causes his length to twitch against his stomach, so terribly needy for you. 
“And you look beautiful like this. All hard for me,” you mimic his words and he grows feral, even more so when you continue. “It’s all mine, isn’t it?” You take him into your hand again, but he pins both of your wrists down, above your head. And the smile you grace him with—it makes him yearn to make love to you like this. Bound, while the rest of you would remain the quite opposite. 
He growls, kissing you. “All yours. All yours for you to take and come around. All yours, my sweetheart. Always has been.” He kisses you harder and you whimper. Pulls away just to swirl his tongue around yours, open mouth and all, before closing his lips down again in a profound, warm and homely lock. “Spread your legs for me. I’m gonna get you ready for it.” 
He does it himself, folding you in half, the glistening of your folds visible even in the slight lack of light in the room. Oh, he can’t have you like this. Reaching behind himself, he turns on his bedside lamp, bathing you in a soft, yellow light that suits you the most. You’re holding your legs apart for him and he places wet kisses on the back of your thigh, ravagedly, to reward you for it, trailing them down until he’s face to face with your drenched princess parts. And it’s a groan of relief that emits out of him when he’s this close to you, hands pushing your knees down, spreading you even more to gratify his hunger. 
He’s starving. Terribly starving. 
And he rolls his eyes back when he takes the entirety of you into his mouth, tongue dragging upon your slit, up and down, drinking your dew, penetrating only a little bit just to tease you, just to mess around with your madness. And when he flattens his tongue against your swollen clit, you cry out. Surprise him when you grip his hair, enough to cause him to flick his eyes to you. Your mouth is parted, but grinning nonetheless, your own eyes heavily lidded, emitting light and joy and Jungkook simply decides to make this experience better for you. 
He lifts your hips in the air and devours you, lapping at your clit over and over again, letting you see what he’s doing to you without taking his eyes off of you, nose pressed against your shiny mound. You whisper your vulgarities and he’d let it pass if he didn’t consider this a holy, spiritual occurrence. He withdraws and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him, the way your slick trickles down your clit and your mound, rooting in the squishy part of your lower tummy. He hums, delighting in the sight. 
“Be good,” he scolds, smiling down at you and your grin widens. You nod your head, your hands still crossed above you without his to hold them down. Scratch his words—you’re already the best girl. He licks up the trickle of your essence trailing down your clit, making you writhe again. “Feel how wet you are for me.” 
Carefully, you skim your palm down your soaked belly, gasping, until your fingers reach your nub, the concoction of his saliva and your arousal seeping into your skin. He encourages you with noises of approval to keep going, bending you even more in half, your back leaning against his thighs, the pads of your fingers circling your center, eyes wide at the discovery, able to see just how celestially aroused you are for him. So beautiful. He bites onto the flesh upon the side of your thigh, only because he can’t help it, soothing down the sting with his tongue. And he hums at the sound of your moans, at the sound of your slipperiness when you drag your fingers down to your clit and stop there. 
“Hm, yes, sweetheart, rub that pretty clit for me,” he murmurs and his chest explodes at the principle that he’s able to say that to you. That he doesn’t need anyone’s permission or approval. That he can do whatever he pleases with you without any consequences to reap. That he’s free. You must be thinking about this, too, but in a different way, because you hesitate. He’ll destroy that dubiety. It won’t show its face again—as long as he lives on this earth. “You can do it, my love. You’re free.” 
The reassurance washes over you and rids you of that fleeting negativity. He understands this is new for the both of you—there’s some still getting used to, so it’s completely normal. He’ll try his hardest to make this as much of an easy ride for you as he can. It’s his duty. 
“Don’t be afraid,” he continues, adding your name, softly. “You’re here with me and you’re safe.” 
Jungkook leans over and kisses you. You nod into the kiss and he returns to his position, catching you rubbing your clit, slowly, with two fingers, the other spread on your folds. And both of you moan simultaneously. 
“That’s it,” he whispers, enthralled, making way for the sound of your slick to overpower the atmosphere. “That’s my good girl. Make yourself feel good for me.” 
You whimper his name, buckling your hips in his hold, squeezing your eyes shut and Jungkook can see the waves of pressure charging your tender body. Now is the time for his participation. 
He sinks his middle finger inside, making your eyes pop open and stare him down, just for you to submerge yourself under the surface of that sea of lust and let your irises whisk back. Your walls clench around him and he waits until you speed up your circles to join his other finger, biting his lip to push back his desire to sink himself inside you. He tries to pay little attention to the way he drips for you. 
But then you use the rest of your fingers to bring yourself to your climax and Jungkook takes it as a sign. Another finger in, he curls them, fucking you the way you like. Fast, grazing your sweet little spot that beckons your sweat out of your pores and when your pussy drools even more for him, he adds another. You gasp and he knows exactly how you’re feeling, how good this is for you. 
“You feel so full, sweetheart, don’t you?” he coos, jackhammering his hand harder and you drench it, completely. He flattens his fingers, allowing you to see the thick sheen and you mewl, a litany of his name spilling along. “You’re so wet. So horny for me, aren’t you? You’re gonna come?” 
You scream your agreement, squirming, strumming your fingers harder and this is it for him. He changes direction. Fucks his fingers up and down and your toes curl, chest heaving heavily and you just keep on screaming. A delightful sound. 
“Come for me, then. Like the best girl you are.” 
You clench around him. So much that he can barely move his fingers, sunk in so deeply. He just flexes them, drawing out your orgasm and you give it to him. 
And you’re wet all over again. Sprinkled by pearls upon pearls of your pleasure. He is, too, and it worsens his desperation for you. 
You’re panting, but he’s not done with you. Setting you down, he laps up the violent evidence of your orgasm, making you twitch in overstimulation and he eases the pressure of his tongue for you. Sucking on your folds, he decides to mark you there. Just below your hip bone, too. Such intimate places. Perfect for a temporary keepsake like this. 
Hovering above you, he circles his tongue tinged with your taste around yours, forcing you to moan again. And he kisses you softly. “You deserved that orgasm.” 
You whine, red all over, and Jungkook understands you need more. He pulls away, clutches himself to line up at your entrance, but you stop him. 
“I want you.” 
He smirks, longs to hear you be more specific. “How?” 
You huff. So adorable. “In my mouth.” 
He chuckles. Should’ve asked where, but he’s at your service—he’s willing to give you anything you want. “All right, but just for a little bit, okay?” You nod, vehemently, and he pats your cheek. “On your knees.” 
Oh, he’ll never tire of the view of your submissiveness, of your hunger for such a private part of him. He makes a mess for you on the towel, dripping more than he ever has, and he holds himself at the base, grabbing your jaw in his hand. Brutality, the one he’s obsessed with, swims past your irises when you gaze up at him. A feral animal, an angel in hiding—he’d love to embellish you with the sticky traces of his fixation, but he shouldn’t, no matter how much he craves it. He can’t stain you, not today. Can’t ruin the holiness. He’ll let you play with him before he seals it for all eternity. 
Tomorrow he will. Smear you with it until it’s all your pores know. 
Jungkook traces the lines of your mouth with the tip of his length, just like he did with his finger in the bathtub, and you hum, liking it. He can vividly see your yearning to rub your face against him again and he lets you, encourages you in fact, pulling you closer until you nuzzle your nose against his girth, his skin caressing your cheek, and you kiss him all over. Place your hands over his and suck him inside your mouth, drinking his precum. Only to withdraw right away, sit back on your legs without lifting your hands, and look up at him with the vastness of your overbearing innocence and love. 
“You’re mine,” you purr, fucking him with your fist. 
Jungkook nods, just once. Doesn’t even feel his butterflies anymore, too numbed by you, by the pleasure you’re giving him. “That’s right, my love.” 
You suck in a breath, biting your lip hard as if it took all of your energy not to make him come at this very instant. And you lengthen your spine, asking for a kiss again, and he bends at the waist, kissing you nastily, pushing your head back to his cock, inciting you to do what you truly crave to. 
And you take him so well, your cheeks hollow, and he’s unabashed, free to let out his male noises, whimpering for you, panting heavily as you bob your head, slurping him, spitting on him. You toy with his tip, tugging at his length, colliding into his fist and it isn’t until you rub your face against his balls that it becomes his undoing. He stalls his orgasm, strains to do so, just to please you and he pries your hands away from his length, lets you focus on his sack. The least he could do to last. But then you grab it into your fist, sucking his balls, one by one, into your mouth, even try to take both of them at once and that’s it. He can’t breathe, his heart wringing painfully with all the love that brims in him for you. No one has ever done that to him. 
You flick your tongue against them, your other hand wrapping around his tip again, tugging and he nears dangerously close to the bursting of his orgasm. 
“That’s enough.” 
He draws you away from his cock, using all of his strength, and pins you down. A splutter of your giggles waft in the air, your chin wet with your spit and he moves his mouth so rapidly against yours that you struggle to kiss him back, growing calm all of a sudden, as if overcome with the gravity of it all. 
He looks at you for a long while. Puffy, red mouth, that he craves to bite onto—and he does. Darkened eyes, full of freedom and exhilaration. Neck, chest, tummy and the rest of the delicious parts of you scattered with hickeys, with his own personal keepsakes. He loves you so much that he becomes frustrated, needing to let it out somehow. All of his muscles tense and he clenches his grip on your wrists. 
“You want me to die? Is that what you want?” he hisses, speaking of the sloppy blowjob you gave him, gliding his wet cock across your seashell. You lose a breath, drowsy eyes fluttering, spreading your legs for him. No wonder you’re tired—you gave it your all. He sinks his teeth hard into his bottom lip, his frustration rising, brows knitted. “You can’t play with me like that. I was seconds away from coming all over your pretty face.” 
“I wanted you to,” you say, loud and clear, and Jungkook is hot all over. 
Turning you over to your side, he squeezes the flesh of your bum until it hurts as a punishment, knowing you’re not ready for the full thing. It’s too soon. Your wincing breaks into a low, alluring moan and it fills him with adrenaline. And then you smile at him, light flashing in your countenance. You’re anything but punished; you’re pleased. 
Looks like you need another form of punishment. 
Fuck it, fuck all spiritual aspects of this. The angels in heaven need to look away for now and cover their ears. He’s going to make love to you in a way they’ve never witnessed before and it’s good that they never will. 
“What did you say?” Jungkook feignedly questions, pinning you back down and burying himself in your heat. Having stretched you out well enough, he gives you his half right away, but he doesn’t stop there, not when you lift your chest off of the mattress, not when you lose yourself in the sudden fullness and the music of your mutual moans. You grip him so tight that he forgets, for a split moment, what he’s punishing you for. 
You stammer, seemingly forgetting, too. And when his mound kisses yours, your words falter altogether—a crescendo into silence. Eyes wide, unblinking, taking him most courageously. Jungkook hums, immensely proud of you, slowly pounding you into the mattress with hard strokes. 
And when he gives you a particularly unmerciful one, you scream, shaking all over in his hands. 
“Yes, sweetheart, that’s what you get,” he purrs, grinding his hips, loving the way he toys with your senses, your peaked nubs digging into his chest, and you can’t catch your breath, your whole body tense. “Too deep?” 
You nod. “Too deep, baby, I can’t take it, fuck. It’s too much.” 
Cooing, he kisses you. The pet name, your tightness—he’s losing his mind and it’s your fault. Your wonderful, wonderful fault. You don’t even let him pull out, you keep him caged in, your walls fluttering against him and he whimpers, shaking like you, unable to continue kissing you. 
“Relax, my love, or you’re really gonna kill me,” he croaks out, ascending to heavenly places where they don’t, in most certainty, don’t want to see him. Sitting back on his feet, he thumbs your clit, helping you calm down. “Good girl. Feels good, stuffed full like this? My thumb rubbing your sweet little clit, hm?” 
It is a miracle, the way he knows your body and knows what to do with it because your walls loosen, enabling him to fuck you, sloppily, your slick squeaking along with your quickening breaths. You scream out your yeses, driving him to give you his all. 
“Just like that,” he whispers, approving, his balls tightening already, the pressure in his lower tummy becoming bigger. 
You deserve the full thing, though. Jungkook places your knee on his shoulder. And with each stroke, his mound stimulates your clit, getting you nice and fast to his level. 
He cradles your blissed-out face, the heel of his palm putting pressure on your throat. And onto that expression of elation, he uncoils his love for you, brutally fucking you until your whole body ripples beneath him. 
“Whose are you, huh?” he moans, driving into you, rearranging your guts. Sweat drips off of his forehead. “Whose pretty girl are you?” 
Your own sounds of pleasure rise in pitch and volume and he senses, he knows you’re about to come for him. 
“Yours, Jungkook, yours,” you choke out and he’s so proud of you that he hums, his balls slapping against your bum, and he kisses you, giving you his tongue. You suck on it, getting him right there to the edge of his orgasm. 
“Fuck, such a good girl. All mine. You know that I love you, right?” 
And the once reappearing absurdity of his choice of words pushes over that edge and you squeeze him, squeeze him hard, milking his cum out of you and he growls into your mouth. You take over each and every one of his senses, making them yours, and he fucks his cum into you, his mouth smacking against yours, as you whisper your I love you’s and he swallows them down. 
Heaven or something beyond. You created it and he wants to spend the rest of his life there. 
Panting, he kisses your jaw, marking you there for the last time. Unbelief grasping him that he finds himself in such a place glazed with love. “You love me?” 
You whimper, shuddering all over, your orgasm still seizing you. “I love you so fucking much.” 
He licks into your mouth, ending your release. “My best girl. I’ll take care of you. I’ll never let you go. You’re never getting out of my sight again.” 
Jungkook lets go of your wrists. They must be cramping, tingling and he massages them in the air, sitting back, his length still inside your homely heat. Your eyes wet again, sobs break out of your mouth and he shushes you most affectionately, his heart twinging. He lifts you and sits you down on his lap, hugging you close to his chest. Skin to skin. You cling to him with everything in you and he holds you together, so you don’t fall apart. 
“You’re my savior. My healer,” you wail, gripping his hair. As if your breaking wasn’t enough, your words hit him hard and his vision soaks along with yours. You’ve never told him that before—never told him the roles he has in your life. He appreciates them so much, holds them dear to his heart. Never wants to forget them. “Don’t ever leave me, please. I beg you.” 
It’s him who now breaks. Right there on your shoulder, beneath the waterfall of your hair. 
“I could never. You’re my life. You’re my everything. How could I ever leave you?” 
You sob harder, lifting your head, and the sight of your rawness makes him fall even more in love with you. Jungkook smooths down your hair and wipes away your tears. Kisses you, deeply, and lingers there. And along with the kiss, you and him exchange your last I love you’s for the night. 
Tub drained, candle snuffed out, cheese balls devoured, the rain finishing like that chapter of your life—Jungkook feels himself entering a brand new one with you, one where Yoongi isn’t present, as he dresses you in his clothes. For panties, he slinks your legs into his boxers, keeping them warm with a pair of his own joggers. Then, he tugs his hoodie down your head, pushing your arms through the sleeves. Smirks at the way his clothes fit you well. As if they were your own. At the way he matches with you. 
He overflows with a thrumming life. 
A brand new chapter filled with myriads of different, ecstatic possibilities. And you seal them to completion, when tucked in bed, lying on his chest, you sleepily utter the first prospect that you want to bring to life.
“Will you take me to your cabin tomorrow?” 
His breath hitches in his throat. He never thought he’d be returning there so soon, especially not with you. His mouth quirks up, body suffused with a foreign excitement, and right away he deduces the reason why you want to go there. 
“You really want that dildo, don’t you?” 
You merely laugh through your nose. 
Oh, he’s calling in sick tomorrow. Will take you there first thing in the morning. Will do absolutely anything for you. 
“I’ll fuck you hard with it until you completely drench it, then. Sleep for now, so we can get to tomorrow.” 
You kiss his clothed chest. Nuzzle your face in it. Whisper your thank you. Jungkook pretends he didn’t just get hard all over again. 
“Good night,” you say. 
He pecks your hair. “Good night, sweetheart.” 
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imaginesheaven · 1 year ago
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Lonely Water (GN!Reader x TF141)
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Lonely Water
GN!Reader x TF 141 (platonic)
Summary: You crash into the ocean with a helicopter during a mission. Waiting for your hopefully on time rescue you relive some of your favorite memories of your team. Kind of inspired by the song “Hold Back The River” by James Bay.
Callsign: Phoenix
Length: Around 2.3k words
Warnings: Swearing as always, angst, mentions of injuries, drowning
“Mayday! Eagle 3 is coming down in the middle of the ocean. The pilot is dead and I have no fucking clue how to fly this thing! … Oh, fucking hell…”
There is nothing but darkness around you. The mysterious but dark night sky with thousand shining stars above you and the deadly ocean lurking beneath you. The water is just waiting for you to lose the last of your endurance so you can sink into its cold embrace.
“I’m stronger than you think”, you hiss at the tiny waves of dark ocean water, but you are actually not sure how much longer you will survive. The cold of the sea comes creeping in what feels for hours now. It made itself a home in your bones so deeply freezing that your lips have turned already blue. The feeling in your arms and legs starts to fade just like your will of survival.
The helicopter sunk within minutes after the horrific crash into the water. There was literally nothing left to cling onto. You wouldn’t be Jack clinging for dear life onto a wooden door, while your true love stays safely above the freezing water.
The thought of the Titanic brings a weak smile onto your lips. At least you still got your humor with you to keep you company.
Darkness fills your mind with the sinking dread that your team probably wouldn’t be fast enough to rescue from this death trap. Your form floats on the water like a dead man hoping to delay the bitter end for just another few minutes.
The exhaustion slowly takes over as your eyes flutter shut desperate for a moment of rest. Cold water comes rushing over your face since the ocean was waiting for its chance to drown you in its embrace. The water is merciless. Adrenaline rushes through your vein bringing back your will to fight. You swim with weak strokes back to the surface. How much longer can you keep up against the sea?
“Oi! Not so fast, Phoenix!”, a familiar voice behind you yells out. The dirt beneath your shoes crunches as you jog through a patch of trees. Wait, a minute. The water surrounding you has vanished? This can’t be real, right? It hast to be a memory.
“Too bad you are so slow, Soap. You could easily catch up with me if you would work out a bit more”, you reply to the familiar voice behind you. Soap stares at you speechless for a second before he speeds up to catch you. Laughing you send him a wink and even put more speed on to outrun him more than easily.
Soap grunts with exhaustion ready to bring you down with him. He jumps forward his arms stretched out. This man is an open book for you for years now. Still grinning you make a step to the side completely out of his reach. Soap falls to the ground without you.
Absolutely pumped you start your little victory dance knowing exactly that in the distance Price, Gaz and Ghost are watching the two of you with binoculars. “That was quite a fall Soap took there”, the Captain comments the downfall of the poor Scott, “Pay up, Gaz.” The young soldier lets out a groan but always pays his bet debts.
“Phoenix could outrun us all, Gaz, never think otherwise”, no matter how often Ghost sees you running he is always mesmerized by your endurance.
“How can you be so damn fast?”, Soap can’t believe he lost once again. You give him a half shrug with your shoulder, “I imagine Death chasing me and what do we say to Death?”
“Not today”, you whisper smiling. The thought of your teammates brings you pure joy despite the fact you are probably going to drown. The only family you ever had and ever needed. For a second you close your eyes hoping to see more memories.
“So, your callsign is Phoenix. What’s the story behind it?”, Gaz asks you with a bright smile on his lips. Sometimes he reminds you of a little boy in a candy store. You can’t believe how much happiness his happiness can bring you.
“Well…”, you start your not so exciting story, but Soap interrupts you immediately: “Phoenix survived a car crash with a big explosion and came back out of its ashes like a Phoenix. Tada! The callsign was born!”
The silence in the room is deafening before you burst out with laughter, “What the hell, Soap?! No, that’s not what happened!” Everyone except Gaz gets a good laugh from this story. He looks so terribly confused and kind of intimidated at the same time.
“Poor Gaz is probably traumatized for the rest of his life. I like to burn things and someone else already had the fucking callsign Pyro so I had to improvise”, you explain him the situation with a few words. The young soldier rolls his eyes. Still a tiny smile on his lips can be seen.
“Have you any idea how hard it was to get Phoenix and Soap as both demolition freaks on the team? Explosions. Fires. Laswell was not happy at all”, Price recalls his quite one-sided conversation with her. The only thing she said was “NO!” over and over again. Well, she also said “FUCKING HELL FOR SURE NOT!” once. But Captain Price gets what he wants in the end.
A tiny tear rolls down your face, but you can’t feel anything anymore. The cold crept into every single fiber of your body.  In the end it doesn’t matter anyway. You are still surrounded by water so what matters a single tear escaping? It’s the only one. Way too tired you can’t share more than that tiny tear with the ocean.
“Are you fucking serious? You could have died!”, you hiss angrily at Ghost as you patch the bullet wound in his side up. The tough soldier keeps quiet letting you work. “It’s like I’m talking to a brick wall without a single thought behind those eyes. Except for sacrificing himself for someone else”, you keep going with your monologue. No one dares to speak like that to him. Except you. It’s always you.
Ghost can’t see how your hands are shaking. How the fear takes over your already worry-ridden mind. How you blame yourself for not being fast enough in the end. You could have prevented this from happening.
But Simon knows you better than you yourself sometimes, “Not for anyone. Only for you, Phoenix. I’m sorry, but please stop worrying. Stop blaming yourself. In the end it was my decision. That’s what we do for each other. Keeping each other safe, right?”
Not answering you put away the first med kit finally done with patching him up. Ghost isn’t the one with the soft side, but with you it is so easy to feel safe for once. You stand up hoping to run from this conversation. His hand stops you dead in your tracks as he grabs your wrist, “Right?”
A slight smile appears on your lips still not turning around to face him, “Of course… but you are still a brick wall.” Simon can’t help himself but smile too behind his mask.
What have you done? If Simon would be here with you, he would hold this whole conversation against you. It’s the same reason that has brought you into the middle of the ocean. You wanted to keep them safe. Your team. Your family.
The helicopter was loaded with explosive meant to kill. Bombs. Soap’s favorite. There was no time to defuse them. You had not a single second to think about it. Just enough time to act on impulse. What a great idea to bring the helicopter down over the ocean far away to hurt someone else. But what about you?
“No, you are not stronger than me, Gaz”, Soap puts down the money for his bet. There is never a dull moment with those clowns. A tiny smile appears on your lips as you nurse your lonely drink in your hand.
“What’s so funny?”, Price notices your rather happy facial expression. “Nothing, just happy to be alive”, you reply simply. The Captain doesn’t need an explanation what you mean exactly. He just knows. You don’t need to elaborate how they give you a feeling of being home. How they are like the family you never had before in your life. They are everything you need to be happy.
But now it is time to let go.
Tired you keep your eyes closed as the cold water pulls you down into its embrace. You are not scared anymore to give up this time. Only gratefulness and happiness are present in your heart and mind. The joy you experienced is more than enough for a whole lifetime.
For the last time you open your eyes to see the darkness around you. It was the only friend you had the last few hours. The tiny waves trying to lull you into a memories-filled sleep. The cold making it easier to let go. You have been tired for so long already. Tiny air bubbles escape and leave you behind.
The darkness lurks beneath you, but above the water surface shines a strange light. Is that the beacon of hope you were looking for the whole time? There are voices too, but you can’t understand what they are yelling. You are sinking further and further. Far away from the light.
Above the lonely water your team is looking for you desperately.
The thought sends a surge of energy through your body. As hard as you can you wave your arms and legs completely uncoordinated. Still the movement brings you closer to the surface. You can’t give up now. Not so close to them.
Your whole body is numb and hurts at the same time terribly. The ocean gives its best to keep you to itself. The cold clouds your mind. Are you paddling into the right direction? Are you going further down?
Then your arm breaks through the surface. But that’s all you had left in you.
Something grabs your hand so tight you almost screamed out loud because of the pain. Your head is still underwater. There is another tightness in your lungs screaming for just a tiny bit of fresh air.
Slowly you get dragged out of the darkness. Leaving the ocean behind. You take a gasping breath. The world outside the water is so overwhelming. The lights blind you for a moment. The loud noises roar in your ears. Pure chaos. For a moment you miss the calming darkness of the ocean.
A slight smile would appear on your lips as you see the faces of your teammates, but that’s too much for now. Gaz and Soap have their hands tightly on your arms, while Price and Ghost try to heave you into the helicopter by your tactical vest. All your gear got extremely heavy soaked with ocean water to the brim. You wish you could help them out, but you reached your limit of energy a long time ago. They lower you to the ground finally freed of the water.
“We got Phoenix. Go, Nik”, Price gives his order to Nicolai. Your favorite Russian pilot. Ghost and Soap try to get rid of your tactical vest together. Gaz stands ready with a blanket to warm you up. They keep talking to you, but you can’t quite follow their words. Your mind still frozen in place.
“Hey, hey. You broken?”, John puts his hand on your ice-cold cheek to get your attention. This time you can manage a weak smile, “Define broken, Captain.” He lets out a deep sigh full of worry but more than happy to hear your voice once again.
“Don’t ever do this again, muppet. You were out there the whole night. We- … We literally thought you were gone. Want to sit up?”, Price grabs your shoulder softly too scared to hurt you after what you went through. Ghost on the other side helps you too to sit up.
The sun starts to rise on the horizon bringing another day to this earth. Another day you are able to see. Another day to be alive.
“You damn lucky bastard. The endurance from your jogging probably saved your ass out there”, Simon can’t believe he gets another chance to see you again. It breaks his heart to see you beaten up and weak like this, but you are alive.
“What do we say to Death?”, Soap asks you grinning like always. “Not today”, you reply enjoying the little inside joke the two of you have.
Price puts his leg behind your back so you can relax yourself against him. Ghost rests his hand on your shoulder letting himself feel grateful to have you back. Soap sits next to you. Shoulder against shoulder. Just like out in the battlefield. Gaz holds one of your hands in his to get them back to normal temperature.
Your little family.
Lonely Water
Let us hold each other
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moonyswife · 1 year ago
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I heard a rumor….
from Inez
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MASTERLIST
Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader
G: Fluff, jealous, irritable and oblivious Remus.
Warnings: NOT proofread, smoking, written late at night from an insomniac writer.
The dark winter sky was the only visible thing from the gryffindor common room, as the cold chased everybody inside, four best friends sprawled across cushions in front of the fireplace , trying desperately to get homework done, at least Remus was, his friends way to gossipy to get anything done, he has had enough of his friends fooling around, it seemed as if the world was ganging up on him, his friends were being annoying, homework was harder than ever, the full moon’s tomorrow, and you were out with some boy, at least that what was heard from some hufflepuff girl called Inez.
Huffing and groaning he got up, “What’s wrong, moons? Don’t you like that your girl may be snogging another boy?” Sirius laughs while mockingly pouting, James laughs, too loudly for Remus’s liking, still gathering his things “What’s wrong, pads? Can’t find anyone who likes you for more than just shagging?” Remus’s venomous tone surprised him even, James didn’t laugh, they just sat in awkward silence, it wasn’t strange for Remus to become more irritable as the full moon was incoming, that was somewhat understandable, they’re friends, they’ll put up with him and his attitude, but something else set him up this time, so they just let him leave.
Good, he needed to take a breather.
As Remus furiously left the common room, his mind was running, between his classes and his overbearing hidden need to overachieve, the way the full moon’s closing in, how his condition will always outrun him, the way his friends one day will get fed up with him, he’s too much anyways, his breath was staggering, he needed air, he needed to get out, but no matter where he’ll go, he knows he’s a liability.
The astronomy tower seemed like the perfect place for him to settle down, he walked in only to find out someone beat him to it, you were there, his heart did a flip and threatened with jumping out his mouth.
as he was about to leave you alone, you looked up, eyes meeting, Remus felt like fainting, all his emotional buildup was still persistent, but butterflies swarmed his stomach, “hi, Rem” “hi, y/n” “what’re you doing up here?” you asked eyes filled with curiosity, “Could ask you the same” he felt comfortable enough to sit down next to you, “I asked you first” fair enough. “Just needed a little bit of air, take a walk, this is the closest that I can get to the outside without freezing” he found himself letting out a long breath, “tough day?” “tough week, tough year, tough life apparently” she laughed, Merlin, her laugh, the ways her face looks when she does, absolutely beautiful, breathtaking.
they sat in comfortable silence, looking at the stars, hands nearly touching but neither of them was brave enough, Remus cleared his throat ready to break the silence “I heard you were going out with a Ravenclaw boy” he couldn’t help sounding bitter, “mmm, really? Who did you hear it from?” hope “Inez, well, Sirius, but he heard it from her in herbology, so it was just a rumor?” “Inez is so noisy, kind, but so annoying sometimes” she kept quiet, Remus didn’t push her to speak, “well, yeah, a ravenclaw boy sent me a note asking me out in charms, I said yes to not embarrass him in front of his friends, but afterwards I told him I couldn’t go out with him” a blush crept into her cheeks as she talked, Remus sweared that every time he looked at her he fell even harder, “why did you tell him you couldn’t?” Remus felt nosier than Inez and his friends, but he needed to know, “well…” she went shy all of a sudden, sigh “well ‘cause I like someone else, like a lot and I felt bad playing with his feelings”
Remus felt like throwing up, she likes another boy, all hopes are dead, as dead as he wishes he was, “you ok?” her sweet voice was music to his ear, “yeah, ‘m fine” “are you sure” “yeah, well, I should go, the guys are probably wondering where I am” bullshit, he needed to scream, to punch someone hopefully the guy she likes, as he was getting up she grabbed his hand, “please stay a little longer” she asked with teary eyes, “love, what’s wrong?” the pet name rolling of his tongue like a promise, “nothing just, I don’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to talk either, just… sit there, with me” her big eyes following her mouth pleading for him to stay and who was he to say no. He nodded sitting back down, putting his hand in her back, rubbing as she sobbed.
“It’s just, the boy I like” sob “probably doesn’t like me back” she takes a breath “ I like him a lot and he barely pays attention to me, always running out of a room when I enter” she was describing the dumbest guy Remus would ever know, “it’s ok, doll, he’s dumb, you’re the best that there is, a lot of boys are dying to be with you” me, I’m here, I want to be with you, I love you. that’s all he wanted to say, but she’s down and sad, he wouldn’t take advantage, and he doesn’t know why his words make her cry harder, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did wrong” with her head in her hands she mumbled something incoherent, “what?” she gets up suddenly, “sorry, that was dumb, sorry for bothering you, rem, you’re a good guy, sorry again” she ran out so fast Remus could barely hear her last words.
Full of worry he went back to his common room, decided to not do his homework, he’ll blame it in the full moon, and as he laid down in his bed all he could think of was you, and breaking the nose of the guy that made you cry that way.
Laying in your bed the events of today replaying in your head, what else could’ve went wrong?
A nice guy asked you out, that’s great if you weren’t stupidly in love with your friend Remus Lupin, you got shy in front of his friends awaiting for your answer, so you said yes forgetting the fact that rumors travel fast at Hogwarts, especially with the noisy duo on Sirius and Inez.
All your friends went crazy, asking if you were finally over your silly crush, if you were really going out with another boy, wondering when and what’ll happen or what you’ll wear, you tried to tell them that in the end you turned him down, but to no avail, they wouldn’t listen, so like outside was freezing, you figured that the astronomy tower was the safest option of a santuary, before you could cry your eyes out, to add insult to injury, Remus Lupin seemed to think the same thoughts as you.
Everything would’ve been better if you had stuck to your comfortable silence, but nooo, he had to ask questions, how can he be so oblivious, that he was the guy, that you like him, you’ve kept sending him signals since two years ago during third year, and every time you try to stop and get over him, he sends a small signal that maybe, hopefully, he feels the same, some hidden glances, small touches, meaningful smiles, all of this could be part of your friendship, but there’s something about them, just something that gives your heart hope, or maybe you’re delusional.
You ended up falling asleep on you wet pillow with tear stained cheeks.
03:17 AM
y/n woke up, she needed a air, she needed Remus, she needed sleep, she needed a smoke.
She settled for the cigarette solution, but she couldn’t open a window in her room without waking her roommates up. Walking down the stairs of the girls rooms to the common room she saw that a particular sandy haired boy has had again her same thoughts, but alas, this time he beat her to do it.
Blowing the cigarette smoke out the window Remus spotted her, with messy hair, mismatched socks, plaid red pants, a t shirt four times her size that looked like it belonged to a granpa, and looking as beautiful and gorgeous as ever, “hey, are you feeling better?” Rem whispered, scared someone could hear and ruin their peace, “hi, yes, I’m a bit better now, care to share? Just want a bit not the whole thing” ignoring the urge to run away, she decided that enough was enough, so what if he didn’t like her, he’s her friend, she’s not going to throw it out of the window because of her ego. “Yeah, sure,” Remus extended his arm to pass her the cig, hypnotized as she put it between her perfect lips took a drag, inhaled, watching her whole face take it in, eyes closed, eyebrows slightly furrowed, just the perfect sight, he also noticed her puffy red eyes and swollen lips, also the tip of her nose was a bit red, she’s been crying.
Smoking in silence, but compared to before, it was a bit awkward, “the guy, the one you like, who’s he?” She sighed “why do you want to know, Rem?” “To beat them up, I can tell you’ve been crying all night, that’s no good” y/n was getting fed up “are you really that oblivious, Remus Lupin?” wow first and last name, Remus knew she was mad, why? he had no idea, “what? What’s wrong?” she looked at him and god, how can he look so handsome and pretty and cute while being the biggest idiot known to mankind, “what’s wrong is that I can’t tell you the truth, it’s embarrassing” now he was even more confused “what? Wait you can tell me, you know I’ll never judge you” she put out the cigarette and looked at him then took a deep breath, “ well, the guy that I like, he’s my friend and I like him since forever, but since third year I’ve started sending him signals, like the I like you signals, but either he doesn’t like me like that or he’s very oblivious” Remus’s heart broke even more if that’s possible, maybe you liked James or Frank or Sirius that’d make everything worse, as she saw the gears working in his mind, she knew he wouldn’t get it “you know what’s worse” “what, love” the love made her want to tear her neck out, “he’s the smartest person I know, but when it comes to this, he apparently can’t put two an two together”
Remus’s mind was working harder than ever, which one of his friends was smart? “Oh” realization hit him, butterflies swarmed his stomach, was he dreaming, was she talking about him, “oh, indeed, I’m talking about you, Remus, all these years it’s been you”.
Remus Lupin fell to his knees.
“Are you serious, you like me?” “Don’t be mean, Rem, please don’t laugh at me.” “ love, I’m not laughing” he wasn’t but he was smiling like a fool, she was about to cry again, here she was confessing to him, and there he was laughing, “I’ve loved you ever since I saw you on the train, at the start of second year, with your braids and your cat, I love you now and I’ll love you forever” she was frozen, all this time he felt the same, she was grinning like an idiot now, falling in front of him bringing her hands to his cheeks caressing them. “Please, can I kiss you, doll?” “Remus, you can kiss me whenever and wherever you want”, his eyes were full of adoration as he leaned in, her hands on the back of his neck creeping up his hair, his hands sneaked into her waist grabbing firmly, he sat down pulling her into his lap, searching for more closeness.
“We’re idiots” she breathed breaking their kiss, “yeah, but we’re idiots in love” he said making their noses touch, once he had her he couldn’t get enough of her, and couldn’t stop kissing her, not that she complained, she felt like heaven was brought upon her when he kissed her, “I kiss can’t kiss believe kiss that kiss we kiss took kiss this kiss much kiss time kiss” “why don’t we take this to the couch, it’ll be more comfy” she said while kissing his neck, “.or we could go to my dorm, the guys are asleep, we can make out all night” all she had to do was nod to be picked up and brought to Remus’s bed.
James, Peter and especially Sirius had a great time in the morning when they found you in the same bed, by lunch Sirius and Inez had already made sure that all that was talked about was yours and Remus’s relationship and you couldn’t be happier to be finally together.
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trashno0dle · 5 months ago
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one of the many things about dead boy detectives that i will never be able to get over is the sheer amount of devotion that charles and edwin have for each other like.
edwin. sacrificed to a demon by classmates and forced to spend over 70 years in hell for something completely out of his control, he was denied a peaceful afterlife and dealt an eternal torment being ripped apart over and over again. he escapes and not long after he comes across a dying boy in the attic and despite everything he's been through, how cruel he knows humanity can be, he stays with him throughout the night and waits, ensuring that he's not alone, giving him the comfort he wished he'd had.
charles. beaten and harassed by people he thought to be his friends, he's witnessed this cruelty throughout his life and knows how people can be. yet, when he's at his lowest, hurt and afraid, he's finally offered comfort that he's longed for his entire life. this might've been the kindest act someone had done for him in a long time. when he dies he rejects what could be essentially heaven to stay with the boy who wouldn't leave his side that night.
a single night bonded them forever. solving cases and helping other spirits move on, knowing full well that they're risking everything by being so close to death yet still outrunning her each time because they refuse to leave each other, they can't. charles having such a deep love for edwin, romantic or not, it still drove him to go through hell and back to rescue him. it makes me so insane whenever i think about it. and when edwin confessed his love to charles, who in the gentlest way let him down but told him they still had forever to figure it out, nothing changed between them in fact, it only fuelled their devotion to one another.
i just. im insane i love them so much.
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Things Learned and Unlearned Ch. 15
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Series Summary: Y/N has spent her life trying to outrun her mother's reputation. When she meets the rich and successful playboy, Dean Winchester, how quickly can he get her to stop running?
Pairings/Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N, Sam Winchester, Jessica Winchester, Lucy Winchester (OC)
Warnings: Each chapter will have it's own warnings, but there will be smut, seduction, virgin!reader, playboy!dean, Edwardian era BS attitudes surrounding sex and women. (Technically it's set in 1900 and the Edwardian era started in 1901, but you get it.) Angst, Fluff, all the good stuff that regularly pops up in my series. 😁
Chapter Warnings: None. Just angst and fluff.
Word Count: 3,343
A/N: So, here it is - Chapter 15, and the end of this series. I've been so grateful for all the wonderful reblogs and encouraging comments this fic has received as it's gone along week by week. Your support is the reason why it's finally completed.
It began life as just a few chapters from an orphaned fic of mine over on ff.net and now it's a fully completed Dean fic that I'm very proud of. 😊 So thanks again, and I hope you enjoy the end of this story, and feel it was worth the investment of your time. ❤️
Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists
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Four weeks later. January 1901.
Dean sat down heavily behind his mahogany desk and picked up his morning mail before immediately throwing it back down in annoyance. 
It will just be invitations and invoices, Dean thought, who cares?
He leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and digging his fingers into them. He was hungover and had barely slept. He felt like he'd been hit with a brick building.
With a deep sigh, he opened the file in front of him and ran his hand over the top page. It was his copy of the deal that he’d finally signed a week ago.
Two weeks ago, George Taskett had called his secretary to arrange a meeting. When Dean showed up at the appointed time, George apologized profusely for what had happened at the theater.
“It’s taken me a little while to reach out to you because I wanted to be able to tell you that Byron Temple had been fired, and before I could do that, I needed to speak to the board about it first. But I can assure you now that he has been permanently removed from his position, and fired from our company. It seems that the board shared my concerns with his lack of moral character.”
George had told Dean that when they investigated a little bit, they’d discovered that the incident at The Manhattan hadn't been the first such incident for Temple. Dean was not surprised, and he was glad that the board of Northern Freight had been all too happy to show him the door.
So with Temple out of the picture, the deal had gone through as originally planned and all three companies were now set to make a lot of money. Winchester Shipping and Lumber was in the best shape it had ever been in.
But he still couldn't sleep at night.
As he tucked the file away, he heard a knock at the door and then Grant's voice when he opened it. Dean couldn't make out what he was saying to the visitor, but if it was anything other than, “come back another day”, Dean might have to fire him.
A minute later, however, Grant was in his doorway to announce his guest. But Dean didn't need the announcement, as he saw his baby brother's towering frame standing behind his butler.
Dean stood up with a frown, walking out from behind his desk as Grant left, and Sam entered his study. “What's wrong?” He asked without preamble.
Sam shook his head. “Nothing's wrong.”
Dean's scowl got deeper. “What do you mean ‘nothing’s wrong’? Then what are you doing here?”
Sam shrugged. “Just wanted to visit my brother.”
Dean crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against his desk and fixing Sam with a look as he took a seat on one of the leather chairs across from Dean.
“You just wanted to visit?” Dean asked, his voice incredulous. “You thought you'd take a six hour train ride to just…drop in and say hi?”
“Sure.”
“Sam.”
“I just wanted to see how you're doing. See if you're alright.” Sam said innocently.
“Why wouldn't I be?”
Sam sighed. “Cause Y/N isn't.”
Dean's heart beat double time as he scowled again at his little brother. “Sam, honest to god…” He ran a hand through his hair. “This better not be the real reason you're here.”
“It is.” Sam said calmly.
“Well, then I'm sorry you wasted your money on a train ticket, along with six hours of your life.” He held up a finger. “No, twelve, actually, cause you're gonna leave now.”
Sam just continued to stare at him, annoying him profusely. Finally his little brother had the audacity to shake his head and scold him.
“Dean, why did you let her go? I saw you with her, saw you at Christmas. I know you love her.”
“Bullshit!” Dean barked at him, angrily. “You are imagining things, Sam, and I'm not interested in dredging up this same asinine conversation I already had with your wife.”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, she told me about it. Just made us even more sure that you were completely in love with Y/N. What we couldn't figure out is why you were so furious about the very idea of loving her.”
“Dammit Sam, drop this!” Dean shouted at him as he straightened up from the desk. 
Sam pointed at him. “Yeah, furious like that.” He shrugged. “But then…I think I figured it out “
"Oh, did you?" Dean asked with a death stare, feeling the panic start to rise up in him.
Sam's voice softened as he looked Dean in the eye. “You're afraid you'll end up like Dad.” 
Dean clenched his jaw and refused to respond.
But eventually Sam just shook his head. “You won't though.”
Fear and panic sat thick in Dean's throat, clogging his voice as he spoke. “You don't know that.”
Sam scoffed. “Yeah, I do.”
Silence reigned for a moment before Dean shuffled back and sat down behind his desk again. His head was pounding harder than ever.
He watched Sam for a while before he shook his head. “You don't remember him the way - I mean, obviously you couldn't remember him how he was. Before. But…” 
He scrubbed an exhausted hand down his face. “I remember. The way he was. I remember him laughing and smiling. The way he'd pick me up when he walked back in the door at the end of the day, ride me around on his shoulders…I remember all of it. And I remember when it was gone. He was like a completely different man. He might as well have died with her, cause he was gone and he never came back.”
Dean closed his eyes. “So, I swore to myself, I swore,” he emphasized, “that I would never do the same. I would NEVER love someone like that and then lose myself completely when they were gone.” 
He shook his head again and opened his eyes to pin Sam with another glare. “I just won't do it.”
Sam sat, quietly nodding for a moment before his brow wrinkled in thought. “Hmm…” He took a deep breath and spoke as he exhaled.
“Do you love me?”
Dean stared at him for a heartbeat before a red flush began climbing up his neck as he answered in a growl. “What are you talking about?”
But Sam just waved away his brother's words. “Nevermind, I already know you do. You love me a lot.”
Dean continued to glare at his annoying little brother, not sure what to even say to that.
“And I know you love Jess and Lucy too. Also a lot.”
“What is your point Sam?” He barked at him, although he thought he'd started to figure it out.
“I know this too, though.” Sam continued without answering him, “If anything ever happened to me or…Jess, or…” He didn't seem able to finish the horrible idea, and Dean felt his stomach churn and his chest ache at the mere thought. 
But Sam pushed on. “If something ever happened, you'd never abandon the ones left behind. You'd never leave us on our own.”
Dean bit his bottom lip, feeling his throat ache from his trapped feelings. 
“Oh yeah?” He asked doubtfully. “And how could you possibly be sure of that?” He smiled without humor. “I am my father's son, after all.”
Sam shrugged. “That may be, but you're also just Dean, my big brother. And he's the most selfless man I've ever known.”
Dean scoffed, but Sam continued over him. 
“You've never put yourself first. Not while you were raising me. Not when you went toe-to-toe with Dad for me, so I could go to law school. Not when you worked a second job outside the business, so that you could pay my whole tuition when Dad refused to pay for it with ‘company money’ as he called it.”
Dean couldn't look at Sam any longer, dipping his head to stare at the wood grain in his desk as his brother continued to heap undeserving praise on him.
“And ever since you took over the company, you've always put your employees first, you take care of them, you work twice as hard as you need to, and pay them a lot more than other companies do, to make sure they can live good, happy lives. I've seen your books, I know it's true.”
“So?” Dean cut into Sam's diatribe, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. “Even if all of this praise was true, which it isn't, none of it proves that loving and losing someone wouldn't change all of that. Dad was a good man too, until he loved a woman and lost a woman.”
Sam tightened his jaw. “Maybe he was, but he was also a selfish bastard for abandoning us, for just going off to live alone with his grief and anger. You weren't even five years old, and you'd just lost your mother!” Sam huffed angrily. “He should have cared about that too. He should have cared about you, about us...not just the wife he lost.”
Dean's instinct was to defend their father, but he didn't. He'd begun to see that Sam was right; it had been pretty selfish.
“And I'm telling you,” Sam said with conviction, “if you and Y/N were lucky enough to be blessed with children, you would NEVER abandon them for any reason. Not ever. Because you. are not. our father.” 
Dean heard his little brother's words, and the freedom he found in them, surprised him. It felt like he could breathe deeply for the first time in a very long time. He felt a tear escape and he dashed it away quickly, turning his chair away from Sam and staring at the wall. 
After a moment of quiet, Sam spoke solemnly. "But none of this speculating about how you'd act IF you fell in love with Y/N really matters anyway. Because the plain and simple fact is, you're already in love with her.”
The words still made Dean's stomach clench, and he turned back to Sam and shook his head. “No, I refused, I wouldn't let myself love her.”
Sam rolled his eyes and breathed out harshly. “Damn! You really are a monumental idiot.”
Dean scowled at him, unimpressed with his opinion.
“Dean, you can't stop yourself from loving someone. You can't just control something like that.”
Dean felt the old, familiar panic start to rise in his chest. If he couldn't control it...if he really did love her already…then he'd already lost, and he'd never be free of her hold on him.
I don't wanna be free.
The intrusive thought leaked into his mind and he closed his eyes, trying desperately to deny it but-
“She's leaving.”
Dean's eyes popped open to stare at Sam. 
“What do you mean?” He asked quietly.
“She gave us her notice. She's leaving. Catching a train in a couple of days. That's why I came to shake some sense into you before it's too late. She's going west, says she wants to seek some adventure, but I know it's really because we're all just a constant reminder of you. She's been miserable this whole last month - trying very hard to hide it - but miserable.”
Dean felt a different kind of panic rising as he contemplated Y/N being on the other side of the country, living her life a million miles from his.
She'd get married to someone else - someone who didn't become paralyzed with fear at the thought of needing her in his life. He'd win her over, he'd make her smile, make her happy. He'd give her children; he'd be the damn compatible husband she'd always wanted, and give her the little cottage and respectable life she deserved. 
The exact life he'd told her to go and live just before he made love to her and then snuck out of the room before she woke, like a coward.
He looked at his little brother, desperate now for his help. “Shit. I walked away from her Sam. I left her a goddamn note cause I was too much of a coward to say goodbye to her face. Cause I knew if I spent another minute with her, I'd be so tempted to do anything she wanted, say anything she wanted, just to get her to stay. And I couldn't risk it.”
Sam gave him a scolding look and just shook his head.
Dean's voice was slightly forlorn. “What are the chances she forgives me for that?”
Sam shrugged. “Won't know till you try, coward.”
***
Y/N clutched the handle of her leather bag tightly, gripping it over and over, wearing it smooth from sheer worry. She recognized that traveling alone, to some remote California town she'd never been to was ludicrous and dangerous. But she just couldn't take it another day; she needed to get as far away as she could. 
Living with Sam and Jessica everyday, watching them in their happy, loving marriage, was simply more than she could handle. The fact that occasionally, when Sam smiled or frowned or laughed a certain way, a tiny piece of his big brother would appear on his face, well, that was just the knife in her heart that made leaving quickly a necessity.
So, here she was, on a bench on the train platform, waiting for a train to roll in and carry her away from endless reminders of Dean. But even just sitting on the bench reminded her that she'd first met him while she was sitting on a bench - on that cool day last fall, when he'd burned his way into her life, into her heart and then into her bed. Unfortunately, he'd also burrowed his way into her soul, and she knew he'd never leave.
Even now she imagined that she heard him calling her name over the screaming whistle of the steam engine that was pulling up beside her; it was the train that would take her away from everything she wanted to leave behind. Though she knew she'd never manage it completely.
Y/N frowned slightly as she looked up; she thought she heard his voice again. Was she truly going mad?
But then she saw him, running through the steam on the platform, coming towards her. She jumped up, completely confused, but somehow feeling like she needed to be on her feet.
“Dean?” She asked as he reached her. “Why are you…? What-”
Dean interrupted her. “Don't get on that train. Don't go. I have a proposition for you instead.”
Y/N felt her heart plummet. “Dean-”
“Marry me.”
Her words died in her throat and she just stared at him, her eyes bulging as she tried to work out what was going on.
“Oh,” she said almost sadly, “I've actually gone completely mad now.”
But Dean was shaking his head. “No, sweetheart, I was the crazy one. I was the one who thought I could simply wish away, or will away loving you, but I should have known it was never gonna work.”
Y/N returned to being simply speechless, eyes wide and staring once again, as Dean continued, his voice sincere and ardent.
“Sweetheart, I'm so sorry I didn't stick around to say goodbye. Hell, I'm sorry I even tried to say goodbye in the first place. I'm sorry I was too much of a coward to let myself love you, or admit to it anyway. Seems like I didn't really have much say in the matter. Apparently trying desperately to not love someone, doesn't actually stop you from loving them. Who knew?" He said with a lopsided smile and a shrug.
Still smiling, he took another step towards her and his voice was strong and sure. "But I'm mostly sorry that I didn't wrap my arms around you the very first time I saw you, and absolutely refuse to let you go.”
“That's actually kidnapping!”
Y/N whipped around to see Sam and Jessica standing behind her on the platform with Lucy between them. Jessica slapped Sam's arm for his sarcastic comment. 
“Shush. He's trying.” She waved at Dean and called to him. “You're doing great, champ! Keep going!” 
“Give her the ring, Uncle Dean. Ladies like rings!” Lucy shouted.
Y/N started crying and laughing in the same breath, and nearly choked. But as Dean nodded at his niece and got down on one knee, tears won out and she started crying noisily.
He gazed up at her with a soft smile and slightly glassy eyes. “I wasn't planning to do this with an audience, and I have a lot to explain to you, I know, about why I was such an idiot and how stupid I was to be afraid of loving you.”
“Quit reminding her she'll be marrying a moron!” Sam called out again, and Y/N heard Jessica smack him again. But she couldn't take her eyes off of the massive ring that sat in the velvet box Dean opened and presented to her.
It was a Tiffany's box, she noticed, and inside was a beautiful diamond ring, with a small round emerald in the very center.
“I love you so much, Y/N, and I know I don't deserve you, but please say yes anyway.”
“Yes!” She shouted, taking the box from him and then throwing her arms around his neck, letting him stand up and twirl her around, laughing with him through her tears.
Everyone on the platform clapped happily, as Dean kissed her. 
Sam covered Lucy's eyes but she pushed his hand away, clapping loudly at the little fairytale that had played out for her.
As Dean pulled back, he slipped the ring onto her finger and ran his thumb over her knuckles, before raising her hand to his mouth and kissing the back of it, just like he did the very first day they'd met. It still had the power to make her stomach flutter.
“Do you like it?” He asked, touching the emerald in the center of her ring.
Remembering her prediction that emeralds would always make her cry, brought on even more of those predictable tears. She was happy beyond measure that she'd been both right and wrong about that.
“Yes, I love it.” She said as she kissed him sweetly and then gazed into his bright green eyes. “And I love you, Dean. So much.”
“Thank God. Just...just don't stop. Please?”
Y/N nodded. "Promise." She whispered.
Dean sighed against her lips before claiming them once again.
***
The St. Louis World's Fair. Spring 1904. 
“Lucy Winchester! You've had more than enough of that spun sugar now, come back over here and hold your brother's hand.”
Jessica ran after her six year old with her two year old in tow, until Sam grabbed him up and settled him against his chest. With her hands now free, Jessica grabbed a protesting Lucy away from the cotton candy cart.
Y/N laughed at her former student's frustrated little face and decided to try and help her sister-in-law out. “Luce come here; your cousin needs your help.”
Jessica let go of Lucy's hand so she could run back to her aunt and uncle. Y/N and Dean walked behind them a little ways, with their one year old, Melody, toddling somewhat unsteadily between them.
Y/N let Lucy take Melody's hand. “She loves walking with you and you're so good at showing her just how a real lady walks.”
Lucy beamed proudly as she immediately slowed her pace to allow Melody to keep up, and then walked very sedately to help her little cousin learn how to be a lady.
Jessica smiled brightly over her shoulder and mouthed, thank you to Y/N who laughed lightly. Dean reached over and took her hand now that it was free, swinging it gently back and forth.
Suddenly Y/N remembered Christmas day three years ago and how she'd imagined going to the World's Fair, and walking hand in hand just like this.
There were no cherry trees beside them and the crowds were fairly thick on the pathways around the fair, which meant they were jostled around a bit more than she'd imagined in her idyllic fantasy.
But the feelings she'd imagined back then were exactly the same. Family. Love. Belonging. She stepped closer to Dean and rested her head on his shoulder, squeezing his hand tighter.
He kissed the crown of her head and then whispered to her. “Happy, sweetheart?”
She looked up at him and gave him a mischievous smile. “Happier if you'd kiss me.” 
He pretended to be scandalized. “Mrs. Winchester? In public? In full view of the children?”
Y/N laughed happily, making her in laws look back at them and smile.
Dean leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “That's all my strict moral fiber will allow for.” He said in pretentious tones.
Y/N pouted at him playfully and he dipped his head to whisper against the shell of her ear, making her shiver.
“But Mel is sleeping in her cousins’ room with the nanny tonight. So later, in the privacy of our hotel room, I plan on kissing every writhing, shaking inch of your body until you -”
“Auntie!” Y/N was yanked back to reality as Lucy called to her, excitedly. “Melody said my name!”
Trying to ignore the raging fire her husband had kindled within her, Y/N smiled down at Lucy. 
“Well, I'm not surprised. She loves her big cousin.”
Lucy smiled widely before she dropped Melody's hand to run up and tell her parents her good news. Melody started to fuss over her cousin leaving, until Dean scooped her up to sit on his shoulders; then she squealed happily, thrilled to be up so high.
Y/N just watched Dean for a moment, her eyes watering slightly as she thought about how heartbroken she'd been on that Christmas day so long ago, when she'd believed this life was forever beyond her reach.
Dean looked down at her and she picked up his hand again, pressing close to him.
“I love you, you know.”
His beautiful green eyes were warm and overflowing with happiness as he bent his head slightly, holding Melody tightly so she didn't slip, and kissed Y/N senseless. Despite his earlier moral protestations, his kiss was slow and deep and it stole all the air from her lungs.
He pulled back from her and the look of love in his eyes stole her breath all over again as he answered.
"I love you too, sweetheart." He kissed her forehead and spoke softly, for her ears only. "Thanks for teaching me how."
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Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:
@lyarr24
@lacilou
@deans-spinster-witch
@globetrotter28
@alwaystiredandconfused
@suckitands33
*
@jackles010378
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*
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@spnwoman
@deans-baby-momma
@arcannaa
@luvr4miya
*
@viviwatchestv
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@ladysparkles78
Dean Fics Only:
@kr804573
*
@roonthelittlespoon920
@slamminmine
@zepskies
@safiyas-world
Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:
@aylacavebear
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@kazsrm67
@slut-for-evans-stan
@sexyvixen7
@nancymcl
@hobby27
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Everything Incl. Fan Edits:
@waywardcheshire
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@leigh70
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@mrsjenniferwinchester
*
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@fanfic-n-tabulous
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delulugirlulu · 2 months ago
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Unraveled | Prologue: Taming the Chaos
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Characters - Sylus x Reader, Sylus x Y/N
Word Count - 828
A/N - The fixation I have on Sylus is insane. Literal brain rot. If I’m being honest, I’ll admit that I’m probably—definitely—in love with him lol.
Anyway, this is a short series that I divided into 5 parts because that’s just who I am as a person. This will have a prologue, chapters 1 to 3, and then an epilogue. Idk, I just want it to have a beginning and an end like... an actual story. As if I’m telling their love story in summary and highlighting their first spicy encounter (this is basically the intro part, in a way) hehe.
And now, the story...
Sylus had always been the type of man who thrived in chaos, a storm incarnate. A wildness about him drew people in like moths to a flame, only to have them burned by the intensity of his gaze, the weight of his past. His red eyes, smoldering like molten embers, held the stories of a life spent walking the edge of danger, and his reputation precedes him—deadly but undeniably charismatic. From his hardened, chiseled exterior to the way he moved with effortless grace, Sylus was a man people warned others about. He had walls built so high, that not even the most daring souls tried to climb them.
Years of living on his terms, of rejecting conformity, had left him empty. He didn’t believe in things like love or redemption. Those were luxuries for people who hadn’t seen the kind of darkness he had. The kind of darkness that settled in your bones, in the parts of you you couldn’t wash clean.
Then Y/N came into his life.
It wasn’t like in the movies. There wasn’t a moment when the world slowed down or when time froze because of her beauty. It wasn’t her looks that first captured Sylus's attention, though she was undoubtedly beautiful in a natural, unassuming way. No, it was the way she carried herself—like a steady flame, burning quietly, unwavering amidst the chaos around her. There was no grand gesture, no dramatic entrance. She simply appeared one day, like a breeze slipping through a crack in a door, gentle yet unavoidable. She wasn’t a force, at least not in the way Sylus was used to. She didn’t demand change or make him feel cornered. Instead, she just existed in his orbit, always just close enough to remind him that there was something different, something better just within reach.
And that scared the hell out of him.
Y/N was the opposite of everything Sylus had ever known. Where he was rough, she was gentle. Where he brooded, she smiled. And where his life had been a series of fleeting, shallow connections, hers was a testament to loyalty, warmth, and depth. It didn’t take long for him to realize that she wasn’t just kind to be kind. There was a quiet strength about her, a resolve that radiated from her, even in the way she handled everyday tasks. He watched her from afar at first, intrigued by the simplicity of her actions—how she approached life with patience and joy that mystified him.
He’d tried to push her away—like he had with everyone who dared get too close—but Y/N didn’t budge. She didn’t flinch when he lashed out, didn’t retreat when he put up his walls. She simply… stayed. Not in a way that felt intrusive or desperate, but in a way that made him feel seen, not as the dangerous leader of Onichynus with a past he could never outrun, but as a man.
A man who, perhaps, deserved to be loved and to love—truly, madly, and without reserve.
At first, Sylus fought against the pull he felt towards her. It was instinct, after all. Love, to him, was just another way to be weak, another path to pain. He’d been down that road before, and it had nearly broken him. But Y/N wasn’t like anyone else he’d ever known. Her kindness wasn’t a ploy, her patience wasn’t a front. It was just who she was, and with every smile she aimed in his direction, every laugh that echoed in his ears, he felt something inside him crack, little by little.
Soon, resisting her became impossible.
The way she looked at him wasn’t out of fear or judgment. Her eyes, clear and sincere, saw through his defenses as if they weren’t even there. She didn’t ask him to change. She didn’t expect him to be anything other than who he was. But somehow, that made him want to be better—not just for her, but for himself.
The tension between them simmered, unspoken but undeniable. Every accidental touch, every stolen glance was charged with something more. Sylus had never experienced anything like it. With Y/N, he didn’t have to pretend. He didn’t have to play the role of the villain, he didn’t have to hide behind the mask of indifference he’d worn for so long. She accepted him for everything that he is, flaws and all, and for the first time in his life, he found himself wanting to let go of the storm that had always raged inside him.
But the question remained—could he? Could he leave behind the chaos, the darkness that had shaped him? Or was he doomed to live in its shadow forever?
He didn’t know the answer. Not yet. But one thing was certain—Y/N wasn’t afraid of the storm that was Sylus. And maybe, just maybe, he was ready to let her be the calm after the chaos— one kiss, one touch, and one whispered promise at a time.
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Read this next >>> [Chapter 1]
A/N - Also, if you’re curious, this is my first time writing smut (or writing stories in general for the public to see) and I’m not really a story writer—so I drafted this, got help with AI, proofread that shit, edited it, and posted. I do want to write more, learn and improve until AI help is no longer needed, please don’t burn me at the stake.
Feedbacks and comments are welcome! Just don’t be mean/rude or nasty in general because why the fuck would you ૮(˶╥︿╥)ა
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admiringlove · 20 days ago
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no one else to turn to. fifth edition of @angstober this year. enjoy <3 masterlist of the event can be found here.
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this bar is so dingy.
that was the first thought that stumbled through your mind when one of your college friends (nari? mina? you honestly couldn't care enough to remember anymore) dragged you out of the comforting cocoon you'd built in your room. the funny part was, you barely knew her. she was a friend of your roommate’s. she’d just seen you there, tangled in a mess of blankets and pillows, stuffed animals wedged between your arms, laptop balancing on your knees, glasses slipping down the bridge of your nose. your eyes were swollen, red, but you’d never admit you’d been crying. of course not. too much pride for that.
so you went with her. only because she promised she'd pay for you this time around. it had taken you a good thirty minutes in the bathroom to fix the disaster your face had become. dark circles under your eyes, oily skin that felt too sticky but too dry to touch. when you finally stepped out, the girl (nari? mina? yeah, still didn’t care) was already rifling through your closet, pulling out the most revealing things she could find. fishnets included.
"seriously?" you’d deadpanned, one brow arching higher than the other, your newly applied winged liner crisp against the tiredness in your face, but wildly mismatched with the old pajama pants you were still wearing. "fishnets?"
"obviously. they're hot. and you-" she pointed a manicured finger at you like she was a prophet delivering wisdom, "-need to get over your ex. what was his name again? rin? jin?"
and now here you were. sitting in this grimy bar with nari/mina and your roommate chattering on about something you couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to. you’d ordered a beer, something light, easy to nurse while you tried to look like you were actually participating in life. but, of course, they’d swapped it out for shots the second your back was turned. now, the small glass in front of you gleamed under the weak bar lighting, its contents daring you to down it.
you sat there for a moment, your eyes drifting over the crowd, not really looking for anyone, but searching for something. maybe distraction. maybe an escape, someone to spend the night with. maybe just the strange, uncomfortable feeling of being out in the world again, untethered, alone. for the first time in what felt like forever, no one was clinging to you, no ex hovering over your shoulder. it was just you, out in the open. vulnerable, but somehow... free. you forced a smile, a hollow little thing, and wrapped your fingers around the shot glass, tipping it back in one smooth motion, letting the burn settle into your chest like an old friend.
you couldn't help but be reminded of how much he would probably love this place. old band posters, the kind with frayed edges and fading ink, were trapped in square frames littering the back wall. dark, almost suffocating wallpaper wrapped the room, and the specials were scrawled lazily in chalk on a blackboard wedged between bottles behind the bar. it all screamed suna rintarō. every inch of this place whispered his name in the back of your mind. and you, weirdly, hated and loved it all at once.
"here, take this," your roommate slides another shot glass across the table, and this time, you don’t bother protesting. "this one’s on me, yeah? it’s the first time you’ve left your room since-"
"okay, let’s not talk about that guy!" nari/mina cuts in with a forced cheerfulness, her voice a little too bright, like she’s trying to outrun the shadow of his name. "just drink, maybe find someone to sleep with, and let’s stuff our faces with greasy, high-calorie food before we head home!"
you snort, not bothering to mask the bitter amusement curling in your chest. typical. always trying to drown out the ghosts of the past with alcohol and bad decisions. but for now, you grab the glass and throw it back, feeling the burn take root deep in your throat. maybe tonight you'd let the noise win.
it’s when you hear something familiar, a song, drifting through the bar’s shitty speakers, that you’re reminded of him. of how much he loved this band. he used to play them all the time, without thinking—on repeat in his car, in that stupid, cramped apartment you secretly adored because it always smelled like him, like his cologne mixed with laundry detergent and something unnameable. he’d blast it through his dumb oversized headphones, the ones that barely fit his head so he had to extend them all the way.
you can still feel the weight of that first time he let you share his earphones, back when you were just friends. god, you hated the music. but of course, you didn’t tell him that. you were too soft for him back then. instead, you sugarcoated your words, trying to be polite. "rin, this isn’t really my taste."
"no way, this band is literally legendary-"
you’d laughed then, a light sound that came out before you could stop it. "but i really don’t like them that much. i tried to, though."
he’d looked at you, that insufferable, smug grin tugging at the corner of his lips, and his eyes—that sharp, knowing chartreuse gaze—held yours like he already knew what you were thinking before you did. his hair had fallen perfectly, messily, and you remembered staring for just a second too long. even back then, you’d been a goner, though you didn’t know it yet. you curse yourself now for being in love from the very beginning.
and then, just like that, his gaze softened, his smile turned almost tender. "i’ll make you a playlist. beginner stuff. easy songs, stuff you’ll like, yeah?"
"yeah," you’d whispered, smiling so softly, feeling something bright and fragile fluttering inside your chest, like your heart would burst right out of your ribs and spill across the floor in excitement, like a kid with their first crush; it was so innocent, so harmless back then. you'd had no idea how much those moments would sink into your bones, becoming a part of the fabric of your memories.
so down you went with the shots, sitting in this dingy bar, one after the other. your roommate and nari/mina tried to slow you down—they really did. they swore they were doing their best. but every time you slammed an empty glass on the table, your finger shot up in the air, and the bartender, who had clearly decided to be your accomplice for the night, would refill it without a word. he had a sharp eye, always watching, always ready to pour another, as if he understood the silent plea you weren’t voicing.
it didn’t take long for the alcohol to settle in, for your mind to become heavy and fogged, circling back to him like it always did, like it never could stop. you tried to push it down, tried to drown it in the burn of the liquor, but his face was there, in the back of your mind, waiting to creep in the moment you let your guard down.
"why are you doing this?" you'd shouted, standing in his living room, fists clenched tight at your sides. your voice had shot up, higher and shriller than you intended, and suddenly, you'd felt like a child in front of him. a child in front of his infuriatingly calm, detached demeanor. he looked at you with that same unreadable expression, while fat, hot tears rolled down your cheeks, spilling freely as he put more distance between the two of you. the worst part? he didn’t try to stop them. didn’t even bother to wipe them away. his voice, in contrast to yours, had been so quiet, so measured, as if this was just another normal conversation and not the moment everything was about to break.
"rin, i’m not kidding," your voice had cracked, begging for something, anything from him, "be more serious. please."
"be serious?" he’d snapped, turning on his heel, his tone suddenly sharp and biting, the words spilling out with no filter. "all i am doing is being serious. you’re the one acting like a damn child, yelling, crying, hiccupping like any of this is going to fix what’s wrong." his voice was harsh, cutting deeper with every word, "seriously, when are you going to stop being so insecure?"
the second the words left his mouth, you saw it—the flash of regret, the widening of his eyes as he realized what he’d just said. but the damage was already done. you’d felt it, that shift in the air, the turning point you couldn’t come back from.
then for a few moments, you turned, and your friends were gone. or were you gone? you couldn't tell. your brain was muffled. just a few seconds ago, you were going to the restroom. were you? or were you going to get another drink? your head was spinning.
"goddamn it," you mutter under your breath, cursing yourself for ever listening to nari/mina. these clothes feel all wrong, and the fishnets dig into your skin, each prick like a tiny electric shock, raw and irritating. the walls seem like they’re slowly closing in, inching closer, and the music—loud and grating—scratches at the inside of your head, clawing for attention. you sniff, trying to keep your composure as you stumble toward the bar, your legs unsteady and your mind fuzzy. one hand reaches the cool surface of the bar, anchoring you, and you lift a finger, mouthing a request to the bartender for a glass of water.
"had a little too much?" someone asks, voice low, right behind you, and your heart stutters in response, then slams into your ribs. it feels like everything inside you just stops. you freeze, every nerve awake and alive, and the faint hairs on the back of your neck prickle, rising to remind you of the scent that wraps around you again. that smell—his smell. that god-awful cologne he’d always worn, the one you hated, reeking of cigarettes and something synthetic, chemical, sharp. and you’d laughed about it, complained about it, but he’d loved it.
you don’t have to look to know, but you do anyway. he’s already settled into the stool beside you, leaning casually against the bar’s edge, his eyes studying you with that knowing glint, the one that could read you so effortlessly, the one that tore through your facades. suna rintarō. right here, sitting inches away, just as he always had in the past. your throat tightens, but you force yourself to nod, keep your expression neutral, like his presence doesn’t unravel you from the inside.
the bartender slides a glass of water your way, and you clutch it like a lifeline, hoping the trembling in your hands isn’t as obvious as it feels.
"you look good. didn’t think i’d see you in a place like this—or, uh, looking like that." his words hang between you, weighted with something unsaid, and you know he’s talking about the clothes, the heels, maybe even the makeup you’d piled on your eyes just to survive a night like this. for a moment, his eyes widen, a flicker of surprise and regret crossing his face, and then, in a low voice, he adds, “sorry.”
he apologizes. you blink, trying to process the sound of it. so he knew how to apologize—just never cared enough to do it when it counted.
"didn’t think you had it in you," you say, voice sharp but steady, holding back the anger that simmers beneath the surface. he tilts his head, his brows knitting together in confusion, until the realization hits him, and he coughs, awkwardly. "r-right," he mumbles.
you let out a long sigh, pushing yourself off the stool with deliberate calm, every movement heavy. "have a nice night," you say, your voice soft but cold, the words final. “‘m going home.”
rin watches as you take your first shaky step, wobbly at first, the heel too high and unfamiliar. you almost slip, a quick fumble that you catch by clutching onto the stool. his eyes follow you with a concern that feels too late, a pang of regret in his gaze as you steady yourself and make for the exit. your friends, who dragged you here and insisted you needed this night out, are nowhere to be found now. fine. you’d get home yourself.
outside, the cool air wraps around you, a welcome relief that clears your head just enough. you pull out a pack of cigarettes from your pocket, the weight of the evening pressing down on you as you balance one between your lips. just as you’re about to light it, a hand reaches out, fingers slipping the cigarette from between your teeth. you glance up, and there he is again, standing too close, his face cast in shadows and regret.
"since when did you start this shit?" his voice is low, a little rough, but underneath it is something that sounds almost hurt.
"since you were a shitty boyfriend and couldn’t see that i was miserable with you," you snap back, the words coming out sharper than you intended, each syllable loaded with the weight of all the nights you spent feeling invisible beside him. his face falls, the mask of nonchalance slipping, his jaw clenching as the guilt seeps into his expression, almost painful to watch.
he opens his mouth, hesitating, looking at you as if trying to find the right thing to say—a rare softness in his eyes that you’d once searched for but never saw. and yet, even now, the words seem stuck in his throat, caught behind pride or shame or whatever it is that held him back back then.
"i didn’t know…" he starts, but it trails off, like he’s realizing the weight of what he missed. his hand lingers at his side, fingers flexing as if he wants to reach out, but he doesn’t.
"yeah. you didn’t." you give a small, bitter laugh, and for a moment, he looks like he’s about to speak again, to maybe say something that would make this all less heavy, to bridge the distance he created.
"let me take you home. you're drunk and it's not safe-"
"suna," you start, voice rough, as you blink back tears that are threatening, your tone heavy with something that feels like finality, "stop trying to act like you care. you have to have love to care. and you don't have even an ounce of it."
for a moment, he opens his mouth to respond, brows pulling together as though he’s searching for the right words. "i know you're angry," he starts, his voice softer, cautious, like he’s stepping around broken glass, "but come on. it's seriously not safe. let me at least drop you home-"
"i was alone when i was with you," you cut him off, the words tumbling out raw, unfiltered, almost desperate as they break in your throat. "and i'm alone even now. just… let me be." your voice splinters, hanging in the cold air between you, each word heavy with months of unspoken loneliness.
he flinches, eyes darkening, a flicker of shame crossing his face as he finally absorbs the truth in your words, as if realizing for the first time just how deep the hurt ran. he takes a small step back, jaw tightening as he watches you with a helplessness that’s unfamiliar, a man who thought he knew what you needed but, standing here now, realizes he got it all wrong.
"i didn’t…" he starts, voice trailing off, his gaze dropping to the ground, "i didn’t know it was that bad."
"i tried to tell you," you sigh, reaching to take the cigarette he still held—the one he’d stolen from your lips. you light it this time, hands a little shaky, letting the fire catch. “i really tried to make it work, you know? but i got tired.”
your voice is thick with something old, worn thin and tired, a sadness that almost feels soft in the night air. it’s like you’re still holding onto him, to all the empty spaces he left behind. and part of you is; you miss him. you miss rin like the first breath after waking up from a bad dream. you miss him like a kid clinging to their old toy, like a lover missing the warmth of skin against their own. you missed him so hard these past weeks that it felt like a sickness, something sour and raw sitting in your chest, refusing to go away.
and he hears it—he catches it, the way your voice lingers with all the things you can’t say. he lets out a breath, and you notice the way his shoulders dip, his gaze falling to the ground, his own voice nearly a whisper. "i know."
you inhale slowly, letting the smoke fill your lungs, reveling in the moment of stillness, watching it twist and curl into the night air, like the memories that keep twisting back in your mind. everything feels off-kilter, just wrong enough to ache. but he’s here, standing next to you, and that’s the only thing keeping you grounded, the familiar weight of him there, even when it doesn’t feel the same.
"come on, let’s get you home," he says, his voice softer than it’s ever been, holding a note of gentleness that catches you off guard. “i won’t stay, i promise. just… want to see you safe.”
the thought makes you pause, a flicker of warmth breaking through the sadness. and you smile, just barely—a bittersweet thing, small and fleeting, because the night, the silence, the lingering scent of him all remind you of what you both lost. maybe it’s enough, though, for now. maybe this will be the last thing you share, a walk home in the dark, a quiet promise he’s too late to keep.
"you won’t linger?” your voice is barely a breath, something fragile, almost as if daring him to say he would stay, one last time.
“i won’t linger.”
“okay.”
"okay."
you start walking, his footsteps softly matching yours, just a half-step behind, like he’s afraid to walk beside you. truth was, you had loved suna rintarō, but that love now felt hollow, like a prized possession tarnished over time, something left too long in the attic and covered in dust. he had been a part of you—a constellation of flaws and kindness and that easy smirk that lit him up. he was each familiar angle, each careless comment tucked into some soft, raw corner of your heart, where once you’d kept him like a treasure, a secret.
the love you had was still there, lingering in all the places he’d touched and left his mark. but now, it was a love gone stale, like fruit rotting at the edges, sweet but spoiled. he was the ache in your bones after a long night, the scar you’d kept hidden under fabric. you loved him like a collector loves his hoarded relics—each trait, every feature of his cataloged and memorized, a piece of your memories that you cherished but never dared to bring to light. because when something is hidden that long, it turns ugly; it rusts, it corrodes, like all the unsaid things rotting in your chest, words you’d swallowed and buried until even you couldn’t recognize them.
and he was there, just close enough to feel like home but distant enough to remind you of the thousand small cracks in the foundation. the way his fingers used to trace circles on your wrist, his laugh echoing in his apartment at some stupid show, the scent of his shitty cologne clinging to your clothes. those moments used to mean everything—pieces of him you held close, stored away like honey left too long in the comb, slowly crystallizing, losing its sweetness.
you reach the corner of your street, feeling the weight of his presence beside you like a shadow you’d once welcomed, but now it’s too heavy, too close. he stands back, hands slipping into his pockets, and you can’t help but notice how he doesn’t reach for you, doesn’t close that last small distance between you.
“goodnight, then,” he says, a softness in his tone that feels wrong, like he knows how much he’s broken but can’t reach far enough to fix it.
“goodnight, rintarō,” you manage, voice barely steady. and with that, you step away, leaving the space between you filled with all the pieces of a love that used to be, that’s still there somewhere, but rotten through.
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bloody-peach · 8 months ago
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Snake Eyes (Helluva Boss: Striker x F!Reader smut fic)
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(gif edit by me)
~~~♡♡♡~~~
Now Playing: Kaleo - Way Down We Go [headphones recommended]
Goodie Bag: flirting, rough sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex (m receiving), deepthroating, masturbation (f), cursing, dirty talk, striptease, vaginal fingering, creampie [let me know if I missed anything].
A/N: Who doesn't wanna fuck Striker? Like, come on. When he pinned Blitzø to the wall in his debut episode, I wanted to be in Blitzø's place so bad. So I decided to make a fic. It's pretty short, but it's still good, trust me. Enjoy!!
Taglist: @omniuravity @pinkhimecat @moths-and-mantids @neonvehk @fatgumsurpremacy-remastered and all Striker simps!
~~~♡♡♡~~~
Your life wasn’t the best at the moment. Your bitter ex put a bounty on your head for no reason, and this forced you to be on the run. You were currently in the Wrath ring, trying to outrun this bounty hunter that’s been on your ass for a while. It wasn’t fair that he was riding on a horse, but you were able to keep a good distance from him. Unfortunately, you didn’t know that he had a lasso on him. You gagged when the lasso wrapped around your neck tight, pulling you back and knocking you onto your ass. You tried to pull the rope off of you, but it was on tight. During your struggle, he walked up to you, looking down with a smirk on his face. His tail flicked in a flourish, making the same sound as a rattlesnake’s tail. “Gotta admit, you can run pretty fast. But not fast enough.” a rough male voice said. “I haven’t lost a catch in my entire life, and I ain’t starting today.” He pulled the lasso up and got you on your knees. You had a good look at him and recognized him immediately. This was Striker, the ruthless bounty hunter who hunted down and almost killed Prince Stolas. You were aware of his track record of bounty hunting, and you knew you were just another paycheck. ‘Fuck, he’s hot,’ you thought to yourself.
He eyed you up and down and said, “Hey, you’re a cute one. Not a bad body on you, either. Maybe I’ll have some fun with ya before I turn ya in.” You weren’t sure how, but this man just flipped your switch and you decided to flirt with him. When he loosened the lasso so you could speak, you smirked and looked at him with flirtatious eyes, saying, “Oh? Have I caught the eye of the famous bounty hunter, Striker?” Striker’s eyes narrowed, momentarily taken aback by your smirk. His grin remained plastered on his face, however, as he leaned in further, his breath brushing your cheek. “Famous, eh?” He repeated, drawing out the word. “Maybe I am, maybe I ain’t,” he chuckled softly, running a hand through his snowy hair. “But there ain’t no doubt that I’m the best around these parts.” He paused, looking you up and down with a predatory gleam in his golden eyes. “And now that I got ya, well...you got a few options.”
“Option one, sweetheart,” He began, gesturing to the lasso around your neck. “We could keep things simple and quick. I turn you in, you’re executed, and I pocket that hefty bounty on your cute little head. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, right?” He winked, a mischievous smile tugging on his lips. “Or option two, we have ourselves a bit of fun, see how much you enjoy it..or how much I do. And then I decide whether you’re worth keeping around or not. Sound good?” You liked where this was going, so you smile and say, “Personally, I like option two better, wouldn’t you agree? Maybe if we hit it off, we can fake my death and split the bounty. I got quite a bounty on me, so if we split it, we’d be richer than even those Goetias.” Striker’s eyes widened as he smiled, clearly surprised at your words. “Ya reckon? Now there’s an idea,” he said, running a finger along your jawline. “Well, alright. Let’s give ol’ option two a go, see how it feels. But understand something, sweetheart, if I feel like you’re lyin’, tryin’ to trick me, I ain’t above changin’ my mind and sendin’ you straight to yer maker.” As he helped you stand up, Striker adjusted his hat and walked closer to you, looming over you. “Now, don’t think you can run off, darlin. That ain’t an option.” He smirked, his voice low and seductive. “I’m in control here, always. Otherwise, we ain’t got no game here.” You were getting turned on so much the more this went, so you smiled and said, “Well, that’s good, because it wouldn’t be any fun if I was the one in control.” A sinister grin spread across Striker’s face, his eyes flickering with excitement. “That’s more like it,” he growled, grabbing your arm and throwing you onto his horse. Once he got on, he made you wrap your arms around his waist, saying, “Hold on tight now.” With that, you two were off.
It was sunset when he stopped at a hotel and got you two a room. Once he brought you in the room, he pinned you to a wall and gazed down your body, lingering on your chest, before locking back on your eyes. “I bet you taste real sweet, don’t cha?” He murmured, his finger tracing a slow circle on your throat. “Between those legs of yours, you prolly taste like heaven.” He grabbed you and pulled you close to him, his body pressing against yours, the hard lines of muscle evident beneath his clothes. You blushed, but felt so turned on as you said, “Well..only one way to find out.” Striker grinned, his grip tightening on your waist as he pressed his groin against yours. “Oh, I’m gonna,” he growled, his hand sliding down your body and undoing your pants. “Real soon, darlin’. Real soon.” He leaned in, his mouth brushing against your ear as he whispered, “But first, I wanna watch you squirm, feel your body shake with pleasure before I taste every inch of ya.” He broke away, stepping back and fixing his coat. “Strip for me,” He said, his voice deep and commanding. “Slow and sexy, darlin’. Don’t forget, I’m in control here.” He lit a fresh cigar, puffing on it as he watched you undress, his eyes never leaving your body.
You nodded and you started to strip nice and slowly, giving him a bit of a show with a little strip tease. Striker’s eyes widened, his nostrils flaring as he took in the sight before him. Your slow, erotic dance had rendered him speechless, but not for long. He swallowed hard, his fingers drumming on his belt. Soon, you were completely nude, your arousal evident as he noticed your juices dripping down your thigh. “Damn, girl,” He muttered, his voice shaky. “Look at ya, drippin’ an’ ready for me.” He slowly approached, putting his cigar out and throwing it out as he reached for you. He wrapped an arm around you, his hand groping your ass as his other hand brushed against your wet flesh, a low chuckle escaping him. “So fuckin’ beautiful,” he praised, his hand running along the curve of your hips. You let out a series of moans as he started to rub your pussy, his fingers skillfully playing with your folds and clit. Striker couldn’t help but chuckle as he felt how wet and responsive your pussy was beneath his fingers. “Just wait til I’m inside of ya,” he breathed into your ear, his words coming out heavy. “Ain’t nothin’ like havin’ you clench around me, feeling every throb and twitch.” He slid one finger inside you, feeling your walls contract around him. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He pushed in another finger, his cock straining painfully within his pants. “I’m gon’ fuck you so hard, baby. Make you scream my name when I reach that sweet spot.” His hand started moving faster, thrusting in and out of you, rubbing your clit with his thumb. “Feel that, darlin’? Imagine it bein’ me -- my cock poundin’ into ya, fillin’ you up.” Just the thought of his cock stretching your pussy out made you even wetter and made you moan more as he continued fingering you. “Fuck, baby,” Striker swore, his arousal threatening to burst through his jeans. “You ain’t no liar, are ya?” He chuckled darkly. “Your pussy’s so damn greedy for me, already wanting more.” He took his fingers out, watching as they glistened with your essence. You watched as he licked his fingers clean, a sinister look in his eyes when he looked at you, saying, “I was right. Your pussy do taste like heaven.” He cupped your chin, forcing you to look at him. “Tell me, darlin’, do ya wanna feel me inside of you? Then get on your knees and beg for it.” He demanded, his voice thick with lust. “If I’m gonna take ya, you best beg for it properly.”
You nodded and got on your knees, looking up at him and putting on your best puppy-dog eyes as you said, “Please, Daddy..I want your hard cock..give it to me..I need it so badly..please fuck me...I’ll do anything you want..” Striker’s eyes darkened with hunger, his heart pounding in his chest. “That’s my girl,” he praised, reaching for his belt buckle. Unbuckling it, he let his jeans drop, revealing his thick erection standing tall and proud. He smirked, holding his cock and aiming it at your mouth. “Anything I want, huh?” He mused, running a hand through his hair. “Well, since ya asked so nicely, I’ll start easy. Take my cock in yer mouth and suck it like a good girl,” he commanded, his eyes never leaving your face. “Prove how much ya want it.”
You nodded and gently grabbed his cock, stroking it and licking up the shaft. You then kissed the tip of his cock and slid his cock into your mouth, sucking on it as you moaned. Striker hissed, his hand fisting in your hair as you took him into your mouth. “Goddamn, that’s good,” he groaned, his hips jerking involuntarily. “You got some skills with that tongue, that’s for sure.” He tugged your hair, guiding your movements. “Swallow me down, deep throat me,” he grunted, his pace picking up. “Make me feel that warm, wet throat around my dick.” His breathing grew ragged, his hips bucking hard. “Don’t stop, keep going. Show me how much ya need this cock.” You did as he said and took more of his cock in your mouth, feeling it go down your throat and slightly gagging until you were able to relax your throat, making things much easier. Soon, you were able to deepthroat him to the point of your lips touching his hilt. Striker’s eyes rolled back as he tilted his head back, his fingers digging into your scalp. “Fuck, yeah..” he moaned. “Take it all, darlin’, show me how much you love it.” His thrusts became more aggressive, his body trembling. “Keep goin’, make me lose myself in your mouth.” You sucked even more, making sure your tongue massaged his shaft. You reached towards your pussy and you started to touch yourself as you sucked him off, clearly turned on from the experience as your juices dripped onto the hardwood floor. Striker’s eyes narrowed, his breaths coming out harsh and uneven. “You’re gonna make me cum like this, aren’t ya?” He growled, his grip tightening on your hair. “I fucking love a woman who knows what she wants.” He pulled out, his cock glistening with saliva. “But I’m in control here, remember? So, enough of that,” He said hoarsely, grabbing your arm and throwing you onto the bed, soon pushing you down and hovering over you. “Time to get that pretty pussy stretched wide.”
He put his hands on your hips, his eyes locked on your dripping pussy. “Spread your legs wider for me, baby,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Cause I’mma ride ya so hard, mark my words..” You spread your legs wider, your pussy twitching with anticipation. Striker grinned, his eyes gleaming with danger. “Perfect,” he murmured, positioning himself between your legs. “Now, tell me if you want me to be gentle or rough.” He teased, his tip brushing against your entrance. “Your choice, darlin’.” His eyes bore into yours, waiting patiently for your decision. “Remember, you asked for this. Now choose wisely.” You smirked and wrapped your arms around his neck, saying, “That depends, sexy. How do you want it? You’re the one in charge here. I’m just here to take it like a good girl.” Striker’s grin widened, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Damn right you are, darlin’. I’m in control.” He growled, thrusting into you forcefully. “But don’t worry, I’ll give ya a taste of both.” He began with a steady rhythm, his hips grinding against yours. “Like that, huh?” He sighed, his voice tinted with satisfaction. “Worried you wouldn’t be able to handle me, but look at ya takin’ it like a champ.” As he pistoned in and out of you, his pace increased. You were tight, so fucking tight around him. You just lost it as his size stretched you out so good, moaning as he kept thrusting, “Ohhh fuck..yeah..!” Striker’s eyes heated up, his thrusting becoming even wilder. “You love it, eh?” He snarled, gripping your hips tightly. “Takes a real man to stretch ya out like this, don’t it?” He leaned down, whispering in your ear. “But I ain’t done with ya yet.” His grip tightened as he pulled out of you. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard now, got it?” Without waiting for an answer, he slammed into you again, his thrusts erratic and violent. “Like that? Wanna see how far you can take it?” He snarled, his pace unrelenting. “Show me how much you can take!”
Your pleasure had reached its peak, crying out in pure ecstasy, “Ahh..! Ohhh..S..Striker..! Yes..! Harder..! Deeper..!” Striker roared, his thrusts becoming even more savage. “Fuck yeah, that’s it,” he gritted out, his breathing labored. “Ya like that, huh?” He reached down, rubbing your clit roughly. “Don’t hold back, darlin’,” he ordered, his pace not slowing. “Let me hear you scream.” His cock slid in and out of you like lightning, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. “Goddamn, I’m gonna paint your walls with my cum,” he promised, his eyes blazing. “Can’t wait to hear ya scream my name.” “Y-Yes..! Please...fill me up...make me yours...ohh fuck..!” You moved your hips to match his thrusts, intensifying the pleasure for both of you. “Ohhh fuck, your cock feels so good, baby..!” Striker growled, feeling you meet his thrusts. “That’s it, darlin’,” he encouraged, his pace increasing. “Fuck, I ain’t gonna last much longer.” He grabbed the back of your head, pulling you into a passionate kiss. You kissed him back, moaning in his mouth as your tongues did an erotic dance. Striker broke the kiss and looked you in the eye. “Tell me what you want, Y/N,” he demanded, his voice raw with desire. “Do ya want me to fill ya up?” His thrusts became more desperate, his hips slamming into yours with all his might. “Tell me what you need, baby girl.” “I..I need you to fill me...fuck me in all of my holes...fill me up full of your cum until I can’t take any more..use me..break me..!” you cried out. Striker’s eyes flashed, his entire being focused on satisfying your request. “Goddamn, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!” he snarled, his thrusts becoming even more brutal. It’s not too long until he came deep inside you, filling your pussy up to the brim. “Gah, fuck..” he groaned. He quickly pulled out and flipped you onto your stomach, wiping his cockhead on your ass before aligning it with your back door. “Ready for another round, darlin’?” He asked, his voice thick with lust.
With a swift motion, he plunged into your ass, making you gasp. “I’mma fill every hole ya got,” he promised, his thrusts frantic. “Feel every inch of my cock inside ya.” His cock slid in and out of you, fucking you mercilessly. “How’s that, huh?” He panted, his grip tightening on your hips. “Need me to go faster, slower?” You gripped tightly on the bedsheet, your teeth gnashing down on the fabric as you lost your mind even further, moaning as he fucked your ass so good, “Ohh yeah...more..fuck me more...don’t stop..” Striker smiled cruelly, his thrusts becoming even harder. “Atta girl,” he praised. “I ain’t gonna stop until you drain every bit of cum from my cock.” He slapped your ass, hearing you whimper. “Scream for me, Y/N,” he commanded, leaning down to bite your neck. “Let everyone know who you belong to.” “S..Striker...ahh...Striker...I..I belong to you..!!” Striker smirked, biting down on your neck to make sure a mark would be left behind, a sign of ownership. “That’s my girl.” His thrusts grew frenzied, his cock stretching your ass to its limit. “So goddamn tight,” he snarled, his pace ruthless. “I’mma make sure you can’t walk tomorrow.” You soon could feel the knot in your belly starting to wind up and soon, you moan out, cumming hard. Finally, he came inside you again, his orgasm shaking his entire body. He kept thrusting into you, elongating both of your orgasms.
“There ya go, baby,” he chuckled, collapsing beside you. “I hope I filled you up good.” You crawled up to him and laid your head on his chest. “Oh, you did so much more than fill me up, baby...” you said, your voice slightly slurred. Striker chuckled, wrapping an arm around you. “Glad to be of service, sweetheart,” he said, his breath still slightly ragged. “Guess ya liked it rough, huh?” He put his hand on top of your head and nuzzled you, his heartbeat slowly returning to normal. “Don’t worry, darlin’,” he whispered, running a hand through your hair. “Next time, I’m gonna be gentler.” He watched you snuggle into him, making him smirk. “Unless you beg for more, of course,” he teased, his eyes twinkling. “But for now, let’s figure out how to pull the wool over that bastard’s eyes and how we’re gonna split that bounty.”
~~~♡♡♡~~~
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gingernut1314 · 1 year ago
Text
The Hunter and the Hunted
Buggy x F!Reader
Summary: Buggy the clown annoys you. More than annoys you. It's been that way ever since you were both little and as a bounty hunter, it made all the sense in the world to dislike him. When you are captured by the Marines for crimes you had been trying to outrun for years, you find him locked up right alongside you and just as annoying as ever. But when the chance for escape presents itself, it comes with strings attached. Strings that test the very natural order between the hunter and the hunted--an order Buggy seems to have no regard for.
Topics: angst, smut (p in v), canon typical violence, enemies to lovers
Word Count: 5.3K
Commissioned by: @katelynwithpaint (Thank you for commissioning me, it was so much fun to write! ❤️ ❤️)
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You were thrown into the dank brig of a marine vessel, the force of the action enough to send you falling to the ground, your bound hands barking in pain as you tried to keep yourself upright. 
The two marines who had been commanded to bring you down here spat filthy insults your way. Insults you should have brushed off and forgotten about, but you have never been good at taking such things. Had always let them get under your skin--get you angry and upset. 
Snapping your head around, teeth bared in a nasty snarl, you watched the door slam shut behind you.
“You fucking spoon-fed idiots!” You hissed up at the two marines who had been ready to leave before you had spoken. “You know nothing of--” The taller one slammed his fist against the bars of your prison, causing a loud bang to ring through the metal walls. 
You hardly flinched. Hardly bat an eye. You’d dealt with some of the most terrifying big bads the East Blue had to offer. Big bads who thrived off chaos and ate babies for breakfast. These two goody-two-shoes marines would never in their wildest dreams live up to those creatures. Never utterly terrify you. 
“We know everything about you. We know of your failed run as a bounty hunter. We know you killed a respected and loved member of our community--you are a criminal. Nothing but a no-good pirate.” He shot down at you in an air of superiority. Like you were nothing but the dirt under his shoes. 
A criminal. A no-good pirate. Those few words were worse than any insult one could possibly conjure and spit at you. Worse than physically getting slapped in the face. 
You were by no means a good person, but a criminal--you were far from being a criminal. Not in the same sense as those you’d hunted down. Those who had done true evil in this world. Who had hurt innocent people--children. 
Criminals like their respected and loved community members. A, now-dead, marine commodore. A commodore who had gone too far in life without getting punished for his crimes. 
Crimes you punished him for. 
A crackling laugh filled the air before you could spit any sort of slights their way. A laugh that started off low, like a chuckling at oneself, but gradually grew into a wicked, bellowing thing. 
It was a laugh you were all too familiar with. One you had first heard as a fresh, new bounty hunter following your former master on her journey to take down Silvers Rayleigh, fearsome first mate of the soon-to-be King of the Pirates. 
Your master had been killed not long into the fight, but you had been too busy fighting off a red-nosed boy around your age to notice. You two had beaten the absolute shit out of each other, and would have continued till only one of you left victorious, but Rayleigh had stepped in, stopping you two before that could happen. He had spared you, despite your hot-headed vows of revenge.
You had thought all too much about that red-nosed boy as you continued across the East Blue. Thought about how he had been just as passionate and confident in his mentor’s skills--in his own skills--as you were. How he had been just as reckless and rash as you.
It wasn’t for another five years before you saw him again, still sailing around with your master’s killer, though you had given up on that revenge long before then. 
You had at this point in time found three other like-minded bounty hunters whom you joined up with. Hunters who had been tracking down a pirate unrelated to the boy you had battled with, though who just so happened to be celebrating some sort of victory on the same island. 
You two almost went head to head once more, had it not been for his calm and collected red-headed friend. A friend who had scared the shit out of you, despite his cool nature, so your fight ended swiftly and you left. 
More years passed and the more you ran into the clown. Each time you two found some way to fight--whether it be physical or verbal. A few times that red-headed friend was with him to help break it up, and other times you both were thrown out of whatever bar you had been in. 
You ran into him once more in some backwater bar, sitting alone and nursing a large pint of beer. He smirked your way when he spotted you and, to your surprise, bought you a drink. A drink you took reluctantly, waiting for the moment you would have to defend yourself against him. But instead, he merely talked to you. Told you how his captain had dissolved his crew, leaving him adrift. 
And there was hurt in his eyes. A sense of abandonment that had you carefully telling him of what had been happening in your own shit-filled life. Of a marine whose name you had just recently crossed off your list. How you had finally gotten him after years--gotten revenge for the lives he had taken from you in your youth. 
He’d laughed in something kin to understanding, insisting on buying you another drink to which you declined and went on your way. 
The last time you came across that laugh, you had just been left for dead by your so-called comrades--friends. Left to be found by the very marines you had crossed when you stumbled into a seemingly deserted town. A town you quickly found was overrun with freakish pirates. Freakish pirates who had managed to kidnap you in your weakened state and drag you into an equally freakish circus tent. 
The boy had grown up, just as you had. Had grown up to be captain of this band of freaks. One who had chained the poor people of that town up and used them for his own, sick entertainment. 
But when you saw him, that laugh sounding in your ears, you were reminded of just how much you thought of it. How many of your dreams had been haunted by it’s ring. Of how you, for whatever reason, held a sick sense of respect for him. And his eyes--they were all too bright looking upon you. All too seeing. 
After dramatically introducing you to his crew and captives, he had you dragged off into a back room where you were once more surprised when his freaks cleaned your wounds and gave you some water to drink. 
It was all very strange. It went against the very natural order of the world. The order between the hunter and the hunted. 
It had freaked you out all so much, you escaped before you had to face that haunting laugh and its owner. 
But here it was again, spilling from the red-painted lips of Buggy the clown, captain of the Buggy pirates, locked away in this all too wet marine brig pulling haunting ghosts from your past into the forefront of your mind. 
You kept your eyes trained on the two marines before you, watching them like a hawk. Watching for a slip-up. Something--anything that would help you in this situation. Something that would keep your eyes off the crazed clown and his grating laugh.
“If she’s a pirate, then that would make me one you shithead.” His gruff voice joked. The two marines shared a look between them. One that almost looked to have uneasy undertones to it. 
“You have no right interfering in marine business.” The second shot towards the cell just next to yours, only resulting in more insane laughter filling the air. The first marine just shook his head in growing annoyance. 
“Come on. He’s all locked up. That big-nosed freak can’t do a thing.” The laughter cut off sharply. 
“What did you just as say?” Buggy asked, his tone becoming all that much more serious. That more threatening--dangerous. The Marines bore shit-eating grins, obviously finding his growing pissed-off nature amusing. 
“You know, I never liked clowns. Freaky little fuckers.” The first said as they began heading for the exit once more. 
“This freaky little fucker is going to cut your nose off and force you to eat it when I get out of here.” This only seemed to tickle the marines further and they left without so much as another word. 
The brig was dead as a tomb for a moment you used to look about the confines of your cell, trying to find any weaknesses or things to make a makeshift weapon with so that you could escape sooner rather than later. Buggy gave an exasperated huffing sigh as your eyes locked onto something in the corner, just by the horrible-looking toilet. 
“Yeesh. Some people just don’t know how to have fun.” You all but ignored him, messing with the bit of scrap metal that had been idioticly left unfixed. “Whatcha got there, peach?” He said, using the nickname he had given you after you threw a peach you had mistaken for a rock at him when you had seen him that second time. He had used it ever since then and it’s continued to annoy you.
“Don’t call me that.” You snapped, finally yanking the bit of metal from its last hold on the base of the toilet. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. 
“That’s no fun.” 
“Since when have you ever thought of me and fun at the same time?” You huffed, working on trying to unlock the cuffs that had been slapped around your wrists. It took you a minute to even get the bit of metal into the small keyhole, and with your hands locked together as they were, you hardly saw yourself free any time soon. 
“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself. I think you’re plenty fun. I think you do a fantastically fun job playing pirate bounty hunter.” You again ignored him. Tried not to even hear his all-too-chipper voice as you continued to work. “Playing pirate bounty hunter when you can’t even sail a ship. I think it shows your commitment to the part.” 
You finally snapped around to shoot a daggered glare Buggy’s way, whose usual red-painted lips were pulled up in a wide smile. He knelt before the bars separating the two cells, gloved hands clasped together before him. His clown-styled makeup was smudged in a way that told you he must have been here for a few days. You also noted the absence of his hat, which bore his insignia in the center, leaving him in his red and white striped bandana. 
You couldn’t help the small part of you that wished he was wearing it--the small part that thought it suited him all too well. A small part of you that you shoved down deep. 
Seeing him again after god knows how long was always--staggering. It brought back up such ugly feelings of hatred and utter sadness you’d felt after your master's death. Brought back up how surprised you’d been when he offered you a drink. Brought back up that equally as ugly feeling of respect and misplaced understanding. 
Buggy was an actor--a performer. Of course he would play the part he needed to get you to let your guard down--to not beat him into a pulp. 
It was all so aggravating. 
“It’s not some part.” Buggy rolled his eyes in a dramatic fashion that only made your frustration coil tighter in your chest. “And I can sail a ship.” Buggy let out a sharp mocking laugh. 
“I seem to remember my freaks telling me of the struggle you had trying to leave that small island I found you on.” 
“I had lost a lot of blood.” You said as if you needed to give him any sort of explanation. As if you needed to keep talking to him. Turning away from this intense green-blue gaze, you went back to work on the cuffs. 
“You know, I was rather upset you left without saying goodbye,” Buggy said in fake hurt. “You didn’t even get to see my grand finale.” 
“Oh, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” You said in equally mocking tones. 
“I accept your--”
“Fuck off, Buggy. I should have beat your ass while I had the chance. I should have killed you and freed those poor people you terrorized.” Buggy pulled a smirk to his lips. 
“Beat my ass? I seem to remember it was me who kicked your ass last time.” A scoffing huff spilled from your lips. 
“We were ten years old--” 
“Ten in a half.” Buggy quickly corrected like it truly mattered. You shot him a look that said as much. 
“It doesn’t matter. I had no skill back then. No discipline. I would kill you now without ever batting an eye.” That smirk never once left Buggy’s lips, his eyes shining in utter amusement. Eyes that had your gut doing annoying and tiresome little twists. 
“And collect what bounty? Our cheery new friends seem to think you’re nothing but a “no-good pirate” now.” Despite that shot of anger that flared in your chest, you pulled on your own smirking smile. 
“It wouldn’t be for any bounty. It would be for my own amusement.” 
“Peach, if you're trying to flirt with me, it's working.” He all but purred your way. You rolled your eyes and truly went back to unlocking your cuffs. 
No more distractions. No more annoying banter with that clown pirate who grated on your nerves like no other. You couldn’t get caught. Not yet. Not before you got revenge for yourself. Revenge against those who had turned the world against you. “Peach--”
“You truly are horrible.” You snapped, unable to ignore the obvious rise Buggy was trying and successfully getting out of you.
“When I escape and free you,” Buggy started, only for you to cut him off with a scoff.
“You’re delusional.” Buggy rolled his eyes dramatically. 
“When I escape and free you, you’ll have to repay me.” 
“You aren’t freeing me. I can do that just fine on my own.” You snapped.
“Oh, I think I will.” You shot him a glare hoping he would shut up. He, of course, did no such thing. “And after I get us off this ship, I’m thinking you’ll be so overrun with emotion you’ll do something sweet for me.” You shook your head, shoving the bit of metal this way and that within the keyhole. 
“I don’t find your games amusing. I actually find them quite boring.” 
“Now you’re just being mean.” The sudden sound of rusting metal squeaking open pulled your attention away from your work and back onto Buggy. Your jaw all but fell open upon seeing Buggy sauntering out of his cell, his hand popping back onto his wrist, a ring of keys laying there. 
You had watched those Marines. Hadn’t missed a single twitch or breath, so how had you missed Buggy grabbing those keys from around the holder's waist? How had you missed a flying, dismembered hand?
“How--” You watched him unlock your cell door in utter disbelief. Watched as he took the few steps across the way so he was standing in front of you. Watched with a fluttering, tingling belly as he knelt before you, that all too charming smile on his lips. You covered your strange feelings with that of familiar annoyance for him. 
“Peach, I’m gonna let you out, but,” He said, sing-songingly elongating the last word. “I want you on my crew.” That was the last thing you thought you would hear from his lips. It was enough of a shock to squash any and all irritation you held in your chest for the clown.
You two had no like for the other. Every time you saw each other, it was either a fight or a backward attempt to mock and tease the other. You were the hunter and he was the hunted. Why would he ever want you to be near him in such a way? 
You laughed in his face. Laughed wholeheartedly in your unbelieving at his words. Laughed so hard it shook your shoulders. 
“You’re full of it. I despise pirates. I kill your kind for a living.” You snapped at him once you’re laughter subsided. 
“Past living.” You’re disbelief quickly turns back into that of anger. “And you’re perfect.” His words caught you off guard once more. Had you all but freezing up, unable to conquer up your anger.
Perfect. No one had ever uttered such a thing to you. 
It was…strange. You and him--it was all too strange. 
“I collect outcasts, those thrown away by society. Those hurt and betrayed and left to die, bleeding out on some hopeless island.” You felt your eyes suddenly prick in the remainder of your inner wounds. Wounds created by those you had thought were your friends--family. Those who you had loved more than you had ever loved anything in this world. 
Buggy saw all of this with those intent green-blue eyes. He saw this and he understood, despite your many differences. Because he had experienced it too. Had been hurt and left to rot by those he had cared about. 
“My freaks--my crew--don’t turn their backs as easily. I don’t turn my back that easily.” 
An actor--a performer. That’s all he was--all he ever would be…but damn if he wasn’t speaking to your soul. Wasn’t utterly pulling you into those green-blue eyes and that charming smile of his. 
“I--” You didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what to do. You should tell him to fuck off. That you would rather stay here and let the Marines drag you off to some prison to be forgotten in. But…but you didn’t say that. Your traitorous heart didn’t let you. “I am no pirate.” You all but whispered. It was a confession rather than a biting hiss.
Buggy smiled, his gloved hand coming up to grab hold of your chin in a grip that was just tight enough to keep you from looking away from him. It was all too much. It felt all too--too right, having the roles switched. Being the frightened sparrow and he the smiling chester cat, ready to snap your neck between his sharp, smiling jaws. 
“Oh, I know.” He whispered back as if it was a secret. “But I think you’ll like it. I think your cage door needs to be unlocked so you can fly free.” Before you could even open your mouth to try and pull together a rambling stream of words, the marine ship shook violently, the sound of cannon fire echoing down into the brig. That wickedly charming smile pulled onto Buggy’s lips. “Right on time.” He pulled his hand from your chin, the absence of his warmth leaving you annoyingly wishing for it back--wishing for more. 
What a strange, strange predicament you were in. What strange, strange emotions. It was all too confusing. Too much.
Buggy dangled the keys in front of your face as the ship was attacked once more. “How about you think on it while I take care of this, peach.” He said, dropping the keys into your lap before standing to his full, towering height. “Though, don’t strain that pretty little head of yours too much.” And with that Buggy left the cold, dank brig. 
You wasted no more time than you had, quickly unlocking the cuffs, which had been rubbing painfully against your skin, and heading in the direction Buggy had disappeared in. 
The next few moments went by in a flash. You getting to the deck and finding Buggy’s freaks had boarded and were mowing down marine after marine, leaving no survivors in their wake. Buggy laughing insanely as he fulfilled the threat he had shot their captor's way. You finding where they had stored your weapons, as well as Buggy’s hat. You killing anyone who got in your way as you found yourself heading for the edge of the ship--found your body had a mind of its own as you jumped, landing on the deck of the circus-themed ship Buggy commanded. 
This was your best and only escape route, you told yourself as you rushed around the ship, trying to find a place you could keep away from the rest of the world so you wouldn’t be found out. That place ended up being the large tent near the back of the ship, washed in shadow and thankfully empty. 
You passed the time by looking around the large area, finding it was very similar to that of the tent Buggy had set up on land all those years ago. 
Finding a pair of stairs, you winded up them, finding a singular chair sitting in the center of the raised platform. A throne, you realized. Buggy’s throne. You traced your fingers over the designs engraved in the wooden seat before sitting down, finding it would be the best place to wait out the fighting and think about your strange predicament. 
“That's my seat.” Buggy’s gruffing voice sounded in your ear a little less than an hour later. It didn’t startle you, his sudden appearance. You had marked his footfalls when he thought he had been sneaking into the tent to do just that. 
“Take it. It’s uncomfortable.” You murmured, pulling yourself from the throne which was, despite your words, rather comfortable. Buggy was much closer than you had originally thought, so close you had to tilt your head up just the slightest bit to look into those green-blue eyes of his. Eyes that never once moved away from your face as he flopped down on his throne, legs spread in some show of dominance. 
“So, tell me peach, what is your answer?” You moved your eyes away from Buggy’s intense stare, looking over his hat which you had taken with you off that marine ship. 
“Why free me?” You questioned, glancing back towards the pirate, whose eyes never seemed to have lifted from your form. 
“Because I’ve been looking for someone to fill the role of knife thrower in my performance. You are good with a blade.” It was a lie. You could tell it was a lie. And it ate at you despite your utter dislike for this pirate. You took a step closer, those green-blue eyes watching your movements. 
“That I am…but tell me something; what makes a pirate buy a drink for a bounty hunter?” You took another, calculated step that the clown marked. He shrugged as if it was no big deal.
“Why not? Getting you drunk seemed like a fun idea at the time.” He cracked a mischievous smile. “Still does.” You gave a small nod, pausing just before him. “You’re dancing around my question, peach. Maybe that's what I should make you.” 
You leaned forward the slightest bit, his knees brushing against your legs, being as close to him as you were. 
“You let me out of my chains. You dressed my wounds when you could have let me bleed out, and for those things, I owe you my life.” Buggy gave a small nod of his own.
“I feel a but coming.” 
“But I can’t be free yet. Not when those who betrayed me are still breathing.” That smile of his stayed in place, but a seriousness you had never seen before filtered into his eyes. A seriousness that spoke of understanding. Of respect. 
Strange--this was all so strange, things between you and him. Between hunter and the hunted. 
“And then?” He questioned. You moved ever closer, you’re legs fitting between his in a strange sort of puzzle. Buggy watched and allowed you to gently tug his hat back onto his head, his breath tickling your lips.
You thought of the way his hand on your chin felt. How it had all but drove you crazy. How you had wished, no matter how absurd, to have it back there--to have more. 
“Tell me why you saved me.” You spoke softly so that Buggy and Buggy alone could hear. “Why do you want me on your crew? Why, when you should have killed me--when you’ve wanted to kill me ever since we were young?” Buggy’s eyes fluttered down to your lips as they moved. A small action that had that buzzing in your body stirring alive once more. 
“I think you know.” He spoke just as softly in that gruffing voice of his. A voice that had been bouncing around in your brain for longer than you liked to admit. 
“I don’t think I do.” Buggy’s eyes narrowed the slightest bit like he was annoyed at your comment. An annoyance you wanted to drag out of him. You knew he didn’t want to admit it. Knew that he probably had never had to explain himself before. “Because I am still under the impression that I am the hunter ready to collect that sizable bounty on your head.” 
“You think my bounty is sizable?” He smirked, continuing to dance around the topic. 
“Enough to get me a ship that floats and an expensive bottle of wine.” You said in an attempt to get under his skin. You saw that flash of irritation in his eyes that made your own smirk pull to your lips. 
“A ship you couldn’t even sail?” He teased, moving closer so that his lips were mere inches away from your own.
Your mind raced to wonder what they might feel like fitted against yours. How it might feel to have his hands running over your skin--to feel his skin. 
It was all too strange, the things he was able to pull from you. Such strange feelings. 
“You annoy me.” You jabbed his way, your eyes fluttered every so often to those red-painted lips of his. 
If you kissed him, would your lips come away just as red?
“You’re eyes annoy me, your laugh, your voice.” Buggy looked as if he was trying to figure out if your words were supposed to be meant as an insult or some backwards complaint. You wondered this as well. 
“And it annoys me that you understand. Say you understand.” You found yourself saying in a biting manner. The pirate looked over your face, seeming unsure of what to do next. Unsure of what to say even when you had just spelled it out for him. 
His hand reached out and took hold of your chin in his solid grip. A grip that sent your stomach fluttering uncontrollably. “I understand.” Was all he said before he was pulling your lips flush against his own. 
You hardly had control of yourself as you kissed him back in a frenzy, all sense of self-control and reason flying out the window. A kiss fueled by your strange, strange feelings for this clown. Feelings a mix of dislike, annoyance, understanding, and respect. Feelings you’d been harboring deep within yourself for a long, long time. 
His kiss burned through you, had your hands grabbing at his jacket and all but ripping it from his body, feeling over his strong, exposed arms. His skin was warm and felt so nice against your own. Skin you wished to feel covering your whole body. 
Buggy hands moved along your body, pulling you closer. His touch sent your skin on fire. A fire that hat engulfed your entire being, demanding to be satisfied. 
Your hands moved downward, over his equally strong chest and abdomen until they found the edge of his pants, your fingers fumbling to undo his buttons. Buggy mimicked your actions, finding and unfastening the buttons there. 
You pulled away from Buggy long enough to hasten along the process of shoving your pants over and off your legs. A process you had hardly finished before Buggy was grabbing you up once more, claiming your lips in a hot, needy kiss. A kiss that felt more like a fight for dominance. A fight the two of you never could seem to truly finish. 
Buggy’s hands took fist fulls of your ass, guiding you up and onto the throne with him, your knees straddling either side of him. Reaching down between the two of you, your hand disappeared into Buggy’s pants, taking hold of is hardened cock and giving it a few good, teasing pumps. He gave a throaty groan that had that heat shoot through your core, making your pussy throb in just as much need as the rest of your body. 
As quickly as you could, you pulled his cock free from the confines of his pants, hardly waiting before you were descending downward, a sweet little moan spilling from your lips. 
Fuck it was good. It felt so good being connected this way. In a way that was slowly filling that yawning need within you. A need you had been holding at bay for a long time. 
“F-fuck, peach.” Buggy moaned into your mouth, his hands moving to hold onto your hips in a near steel-like grip. A grip that guided you further down so that you were fully seated on top of him. “So fucking good.” 
You moaned your own pleasure as you began to move up and down, slowly at first so that you might feel every last inch he had to offer. A pace that gradually quickened, finding that need within you all but commanding you to do so. Grabbing hold of one of Buggy’s hands, you guided his gloved fingers to find that small bundle of nerves that all but begged for his attention. Silently told him just how you liked it to be touched and, surprisingly, he was a quick learner. 
It was good. Almost too good. Never would you have imagined this happening--you fucking this vastly annoying clown. The very clown you’d fought for years. But then again, this was just another sort of fight. A fight for dominance and submission. A fight you much rather preferred over that of brute force and stabbing words. 
Buggy’s lips left yours only to latch onto the soft flesh between your neck and shoulder, sucking and biting in a way that drove you crazy. That sent you quickly spiraling closer and closer over the edge. 
“Oh god--Buggy, I’m--I’m…” His fingers kept circling your clit, bringing you all that much closer to your finish. 
“Come for me, peach. F-fuck--you’re such a sweet little thing.” You moved your face so that you could press your lips against his once more, moan after moan vibrating through your throat. 
So much--too much. It was all so good you’re legs began to turn to jelly. Began to give out under your own weight. Buggy seemed to understand this and pulled away from your clit only so he could grab you up in his strong arms. Arms that held you up as he fuck into you mercilessly.
You spiraled up and up and up until your pussy was clutching around his cock and pure bliss was shooting through you. Buggy’s name flew from your lips as you held onto him for dear life. The pirate gave a few last, grunting thrusts before he was spilling into you. 
Buggy buried his face in your chest, his chest heaving up and down just as your own, both of you fighting to take in the thick air around you. 
The tent was filled with nothing but the sound of your mixing breaths for a long moment. A moment you took the time to run your hands over any and all exposed skin Buggy had to offer. Warm skin that brought you such strange, strange comfort. 
“And then?” Buggy asked, taking you by surprise. It was the same question he had asked you only moments ago. A question of what you would do after you had avenged yourself. You pressed your cheek against the side of his head, your lips brushing over his right ear. 
“Then I will return,” You breathed, feeling Buggy’s body go just that much more still against yours. “And I will be free.”
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milliesfishes · 3 months ago
Text
⋆౨ৎSomeday⋆౨ৎ
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[fem reader] contains: copious amounts of angst, death pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: I never cry writing and I cried during this so...keep that in mind Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist
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The ordinary defines everything. Each last is nothing special at first glance, but in memory becomes momentous. Then it all hits you like a bolt of lightning, sparking a fire that burns everything down.
Ordinary was waking up next to Billy, finding you had shifted in the night, and snuggling back up to him. It was wearing his shirt while you prepared breakfast, and having him come up behind you, arms covering your tummy as a kiss was pressed into your temple. It was giggling and turning around to give him a proper kiss, forgetting about what was cooking on the stove. It was eating your burnt pancakes and him assuring you they were delicious anyways, asking for seconds and beaming as you slipped another charred circle onto his plate.
Tan already from previous hours in the sun, he'd kissed you goodbye, big hand steady on the back of your head, eyes reflecting the beat of his heart for you. "I'll be waitin' for you, sweetheart."
The image of him toiling over the garden for you, shirt half unbuttoned in the sweltering heat of the day, was a pleasant daydream as you went about your business in town. Half-distracted by it, you absentmindedly paid for your things in the general store, meandering over to your horse, packing the saddlebags and climbing on. Steadily, you grasped the reins, spurring the creature into a gallop.
It was one of those days when the world was bright-eyed and open- the first one after so many days of rain. The sun was warm on your skin, and you knew Billy would trace the freckles you surely gained later, when you were both between your sheets, bare and blissful from the act of loving. The air held a promise of hope as springtime always did, the light of new beginnings a guiding path.
The spirit of the season had entered your home without so much as a knock. In recent weeks, Billy had begun to talk of riding out west, somewhere shiny and new where nobody would have heard his name or shuddered at his reputation. You were excited by the prospect, knowing how he had chased a fresh start for most of his life. It had always been just out of reach, or marked by some unseen consequence that set him right on the outlaw's path again. This time was different- you'd be leaving the state entirely. Tentatively, you began to make plans, set money aside. Late summertime, maybe, or early fall.
At night he whispered his dreams into your hair, stroking your collarbone lazily where his arms were wrapped around you. "Gonna get the nicest piece 'f land...and we'll live together, just the two of us. It'll be so nice, baby...you 'n me." Brushing tender kisses to your cheek, he promised it in everything he did. The way he touched you, kissed you, made love to you. It was a promise of someday.
Destiny breathed down Billy's neck, cutting sharp at his heels. It was tangled in every action, sprawled across each word. Somewhere in the back of your mind you feared your time with him would be short, the law hot on his tail. There were people out there who wanted the love of your life dead or alive, who'd do anything for a little bit of money. The thought made you cling tighter to him, though you never breathed a word about it.
So when he spoke of someday, you enthusiastically partook, determined to outrun what loomed over the life you'd built with him.
Tonight, you had agreed to start determining a route, and more importantly a destination. You imagined yourself sitting on his thigh, cheek to his shoulder with the candlelight flickering leisurely as he secured an arm around your waist, the other hand pressed to a map. Every little line was a possibility. Anywhere but here.
Smiling a little at the idea, you tugged on the reins, slowing your horse as the quaint house in which you resided came into view. It wouldn't be where you slept much longer. Your real home was the man who rested next to you.
Dismounting, you unloaded your things, petting the thick neck of the horse fondly. Grass grazed your calves as you made your way to the steps, carefully climbing each and making sure to avoid the one that creaked. The house was quiet when you opened the door, and you figured Billy must still be outside.
Humming to yourself, you opened drawers and cabinets, putting your purchases in their rightful places. The orderliness of your house was something you relished- the domesticity of it all. Out of the corner of your eye, something colorful caught your attention. Turning around, a vaseful of wildflowers, arranged in a messy bouquet, met your vision. He must have picked them for you, a sweet surprise for when you returned.
A smile parted your lips, and you touched the pretty blooms, taking careful notice. The daisies were as pure as the season's first snow, your very favorite flower. Forget-me-nots were scattered among them, the same color as his eyes. You had told him that once, and he'd pressed a kiss to the hand held in his grasp. "That's the nicest thing I ever did hear."
Childhood hadn't been easy on you, its duration long and arduous. Your past weighed on you like a stone, sinking you to the bottom of the river. Somewhere in its depths, you had found him too. In the act of falling in love you subconsciously swore to bring out the beauty of life in each other. Under the blanket of his love, you glowed.
It was just like him to make sure you had something pretty to come home to. Bouncing on your heels, you wondered why he hadn't come in yet. Surely his work hadn't taken him so long to complete. Your Billy was always toiling over the littlest details, wanting things to be perfect for you.
Deciding to go out and give him a break from his labors, you fixed one of the flowers he'd left for you behind your ear and swung the door open, stepping out onto the back porch. Peering out into the open expanse, you frowned when he was nowhere to be found.
Descending the stairs, you searched the area, bewildered. Was he outside at all? Had he gone to your bedroom, exhausted from his activities? You looked down aimlessly, already half decided to go check there.
He was flat on his back, eyes blue as the flower in your hair staring glassily at the sky. A crimson stain on the right side of his chest told the story you would never utter. You did not need to touch him to know he was cold.
The world became a void. There was nothing in it except the shell of the man you loved, lying still at your feet. Every thought you had was inconceivable, voices screaming that you were deaf to. Yesterday was suddenly your golden years.
Deadly calm, you numbly bent to the illusion before you, in the shade of the nearby oak tree. Kneeling and sliding your hand under him, his head found a place in your lap. Smoothing a hand through his hair, you brushed the dirt from it, taking one last look into his eyes before smoothing his lids over them. He didn't need to see you like this.
You saw a myriad of memories dance before your eyes, nearly taunting you. They were so close you could nearly taste them, but they lived in a different realm. You could not have them any more than you could have him.
Waking in his arms, morning light making him akin to an angel. It was so warm there burrowed into him, his body swathing yours like a blanket. Without opening your eyes you could feel his lips against your forehead, his morning tradition. Even when he didn't think you were awake, he was giving you kisses. It was the purest testament of his infinite love, washing over you in waves, rebounding for more before the last had passed.
Tucked in his stiff fist were more flowers. You could picture him studying his bouquet in the kitchen and deciding to come back out for more. Maybe if he'd stayed inside it would have saved him. Though he usually wore his holster, gun tucked at his hip, today it was nowhere to be found. A few feet away laid his hat, abandoned for unknown reasons.
Birds sang cheerfully in the distance, wind whistling softly and swaying the grass against you. It was as if the earth was reaching out, a hand on your shoulder.
"It's okay," you breathed, body operating on pure instinct now. The walls were closing in, and breathing felt like a chore. "You're okay...we'll...we'll just rest here for a moment." Swallowing thickly, you whispered, "We'll pick a place together for you to rest...longer. It's gonna be okay."
Cradling his head in your lap for the time being, you breathed in and out, fingers stroking his pale cheek. Determinedly, you did not look at the wound in his chest, focusing on his face. This was the most peaceful you'd ever seen him. The man you loved, slipped into his forever sleep. It wasn't real to you...but you could see awareness running toward you in the distance, poised to hit you at any minute. Maybe it was stupid, but you'd always imagined you'd go together.
A sudden chirp pierced the air, and you looked to it, seeing a little bird perched on the thick, knotted roots of the tree whose shade you knelt in. The little creature called incessantly, beak pecking the ground beneath its feet. It repeated the motion, as if insisting on something, before taking flight and leaving you.
He wants to be buried there.
A flood of tears stung at your eyes, and you bit the side of your lip, attempting to hold them in, but it was too late. What had been circling you had suddenly crashed, and now there was salt on your skin, falling in pearls down your cheeks like landslides. They darkened his shirt like raindrops, though the sky was clear. Helplessly, you gasped, wanting to stay strong, but the force was cruel, unable to be reasoned with. Sliding his head off your lap, you laid there on the ground beside his lifeless form, ear on his chest desperately searching for the familiar steady thump of his heart. Maybe his blood was on your face now, but you didn't care.
"Please come back," you pleaded, squeezing your eyes shut. "We're not done yet...we have to run away together, remember? And we're going to be happy-" A sob cut you off, and you buried your face in his neck, opposite hand fisting his shirt. You had always known your Billy to be warm, life bursting from the seams of him. It was disheartening to learn how cold he now was. This wasn't him. But it was all you had left.
How fragile a thing life was, how cruel a thief. The universe had given you such a love, one that transcended everything you knew, and then ripped it away, jagged edges left where he used to hold you. The future you had dreamt of, that you had counted on, had exploded into dust, as if it had expired. Dead with the one you'd desired it with.
You would never love again. There wasn't another breathing soul you could give your life to in the way you had him. The grave you would dig when you found it in you to let go wouldn't just be for his shell, but for your heart. If you could have cut out the organ and replaced his still one, you would have. Without Billy, what was the point in having it?
Grief ate at you, turned your lips down and spilled from your eyes, pathetically leaving your body weakened. However much he would have wanted you to keep going was irrelevant. Billy hadn't known how much of your will had stemmed from him.
There were so many things you wished you could have told him. So many things you had needed to do. Someday hadn't only been leaving the county. It had been getting married, something he so desperately had wanted. It had been your belly swelling with his child, growing old together, forever in love and finally free.
Now you were left with that same love, only it had unsheathed a new face, one that twisted an imaginary knife and spoke in absolutes you didn't want to believe. He will never hold you again, never kiss you again. The last time was the last time.
Love had shattered your heart and stilled his. Love separated you from him, became bloodthirsty when half of a whole was torn away.
You lifted your head, hoping he would be looking down at you, that nearly crooked smile breathing life back into your being. But he was still, and the world became greyer.
All that was wondrous and lovely before had dulled, and you were numb to any beauty probing at your senses. You could never look at it the same. Billy had told you once before that it was one of his favorite things about you, how you could find a reason to love anything. You knew now that it did not extend to death.
"I'm so sorry, my love," you murmured, leaning up and pressing your lips lingeringly to his cheek. His stubble scratched your chin, and you knew it would leave a mark. But it would fade away too, because all things end. Everything had to die when you least wanted it to.
"Rest and I'll be here with you." Your voice thinned as tears crept into it. "All is well."
His chosen burial spot beckoned, and you ignored the call, leaning your cheek back over his heart, reassuring both him and yourself. His last words to you echoed in your ears until they drew forth from your lips.
"I'll be waiting for you."
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