#it's just an interesting bit of character work on a whim idk what to think of it rlly

[trickostars]

What r your thoughts on each Futuristic Four member 👀👀👀 (i am holding back a flood of excitement i like ur art btw)

WAHHH thank you I am also very excited. I have soo many thoughts. More under the cut

Violet

- I am totally unbiased abt her she totally isn’t my favourite incredibles character. I totally didn’t basically kin her when I was little

- also her speech about like “the government only gives rich people a slap on the wrist and lets them go” like girl the second supers get legalised you work for the government!! your mom works for a billionaire!! Do you know that?

- down to some headcanons. I think she’s very much the voice of reason in the four, between both of the boys being kinda impulsive and penny just eager to do things, someone has to make sure they don’t blow themselves up. She’s the only eldest child amongst the four and it heavily shows, half the time she looks like this:

- that said she isn’t above the mischief they all get up to, she likes being able to relax and not think with reason for a wee bit as long as it doesn’t cause mass destruction. She’s the logical friend but she isn’t like the mom friend or anything like that.

- she’s also the tank which is funny considering she looks like a twig but those shields + two traumatic experiences sure do a lot in terms of fighting skills.

- I also think she involves her life the least in the sphere of the four. she has a decent social life at home and she almost sees the four as an extension of her hero life rather than her personal life, they don’t know anything about tony and have never interacted with dash and Jack jack, maybe one time one of them interacted with her parents but it wasn’t what she wanted. this might cause problems down the line.

- she’s a very musical girlie, I definitely stole this from someone else but her friends like dropping off vintage vinyl in their homes to her since she doesn’t like buying them herself and she’s very much a teenager with music blaring from her room but it’s like. The Beatles or something instead of my chemical romance. until it IS my chemical romance because penny drops off one of her old cd players and you know violet would THRIVE with early y2k pop rock and it only gets better when Wilbur donates his mom and dad’s old cd collections. this ends up with her having insane taste, half franny’s broadway tracks, electro swing and emo phase and half lewis’ lonely island and weezer tracks

- she also very much is an “acts of service” kinda affectionate for her friends. She’s the tallest so she grabs things from high shelves, opens jars, luges things around the lab for Hiro, organises Penny’s stuff for her sometimes, definitely helps organise Wilbur’s space cause it’s a mess etc.

- oh and. idk if you wanted lgbt headcanons but. bi violet. she learns what it from one of the others (probably Hiro considering his friends are a fruit salad) and is like “OHHHH that makes sense.”

Wilbur

- there’s something wrong with him. I fully believe that it is not the future that is Like That but in fact just the Robinsons that are Like That and that becomes more believable when you realise most of the weirder robinsons’ family members were kids, teens and young adults right between y2k and now. They are pretty much eccentric rich people, but like morally good.

- he’s not much of an engineer or inventor like his dad but is actually way more artsy like his mom, but instead of music he likes model making and Lego like stuff. he’s thinking of studying architecture when he’s older though he’s pretty unsure of his path forward in life in general. He’s only a kid.

- in general actually he’s pretty unsure of himself, often dotting back from interest to interest, whim to whim until it doesn’t interest him. 99% sure he has adhd tbh but surprisingly he doesn’t struggle with things like school, but more with his sense of identity, he cannot define himself properly quite often and is constantly driven to find a purpose in life, since both of his parents knew who they were rather early in life and as he gets older this is just a more stressful prospect to him. He is very loud and boisterous to make up for this

- so as can be expected, the adventure that landed him to meet the others was just a whim that stuck. And maybe he feels guilty for that but he’s happy it happened.

- he’s very much the kinda teenager boy who sees himself as invulnerable and he often is the one who creates humiliatingly dangerous scenarios the other three have to save him from. Sadly, none of these saves have halted his own belief in his invulnerability, but instead made him wanna reach greater heights of almost dying. at least he’s pushing his friends’ limits, both power wise and nerve wise.

- I headcanon he didn’t really do school, more like a private tutor, as the youngest in his entire family and only child he very much is the kinda kid who’s best friend is one of his uncles or his cousins. No, he doesn’t let any of the others come around to his, his parents would kill him, does he steal the Time Machine to visit at least one of them at least ONCE a day, of COURSE what ELSE will he do all day??

- to no ones surprise, he’s very much the distraction of the group, a master of distracting people as much as himself so Hiro and violet can GET em. It’s how he makes up for being the one who starts most of the fights.

- definitely organises group dnd sessions that he dms and when he gets bored he sculpts their characters for funsies. he has 10k+ word docs worth of lore.

- speaking of which, loves giving gifts, usually little models and projects he makes.

Hiro

- he is the most social member of the group but it was not his decision, he inherited his brother’s friend group of full grown adults and I’m not entirely sure if he would be socially conscious enough to keep up with the four if not for everyone wanting him to finally have friends his own age. It’s not that he doesn’t like any of his friends, in fact he loves a lot of people pretty easily, it’s just that he gets dragged down in his personal projects so much that he maybe struggles to put in effort a wee bit sometimes.

- he is also the main host for hangouts, in his workshop or the cafe because the other four can poke around too much in his bedroom and he doesn’t really like anyone going near tadashi’s part of the room or messing around with his “order” of things, aka the mess he understands.

- it was priority one after they all become besties that he design supersuits for them, he especially liked the challenge of actually working and amplifying violet’s power while creating abilities for penny and wilbur. for penny he of course included bolt as well, copying a lot of the tech shown in the movie to make them a tag team duo with matching coloured armour while wilbur he just gave green lantern construct thingies. He gave them these as a gift and sadly none of them get a lot of use out of them but they appreciate it none the less and he enjoyed the project A LOT.

- he is also very much a gift giver, he’s not good with words so effort is the best he can show.

- he’s a little bit hypocritical in that if he gets hurt he’s very stubborn with baymax’s attempts to heal him but if ANY of his friends get even a scratch on them he’s pushing Baymax on them like “no no, get that cleaned up. get a bandaid. come on. Don’t fight him about it.” With his arms crossed

- he felt so awkward when he introduced the six to the four. they got along great, besides some lingering awkwardness and Fred’s joking attempt at a rivalry but he couldn’t help but feel like SOMETHING was gonna go wrong at every turn. He was surprised in fact to see them get along so well.

- Hiro often acts as the secondary fighter for them all, most of the time when he’s with them he doesn’t have access to Baymax so he just tries his best with armour and it’s small amount of gear.

- he’s the one who gets talked into doing dumb things for the sake of doing them. He doesn’t have the teenage boy invulnerability of Wilbur, more like the scientific mind that wants to do the most dangerous version of every test on mythbusters. He always has Baymax on stand by, his fatal flaw is just thinking that will always be enough.

- oh and just as a wee add on, I like to imagine him as autistic and aroace. And maybe trans, mostly because the idea of Baymax doing t-shots is fun to me.

Penny

- probably my biggest character change, cause penny is a wee bit nothing in the original movie. Not her choice really but there are things to expand on which I do. I know one of the more common things to do is make penny an actual secret agent like she in her show but I think it’s funnier for her to just be like. a retired child actor who hangs out with a bunch of superheroes and geniuses by accident. She is just a guy.

- But she is a very traumatised guy, between the fire incident and just y’know- being a child star for a semi Disney coded network, she’s got some stuff going on. Mainly breathing problems and some panic attacks. Thankfully, Bolt is a very job-oriented dog so with acting out of the picture, they had him trained up as a therapy animal which of course he does amazingly and diligently. Her mom moving them onto a farm was also very much a part of this, the clean air and work she thought would be good for her.

- She’s just now adjusting to being a more regular child, having acted for a long time, and is on the path back into integrating into school but she has yet to make any friends, especially not her own age. She’s often stuck at home so she’s very welcoming to her friends’ visits to her as it eats up her time.

- Penny’s place is the most common hangout spot for all of them as it’s just her, her mom and the animals and a lot of room to do whatever they want. Penny is always find with them being around and actively makes attempts to keep em around as long as possible so she doesn’t go stir crazy, week long sleepovers in summer and stuff like that.

- She also likes how if she travels to any of their own time period, she doesn’t have to deal with the fear of paparazzi and gossip tabloids and that’s probably why she’d rather travel to San Fransokyo for anything like buying a toothbrush or a snack rather than drive down the road.

- Treats Baymax like a pet quite often, petting him and calling him a good boy just out of habit, the others find it funny but she always gets embarrassed.

- she’s the healer of the group, when Baymax isn’t around, and Bolt acts as an attack dog part time. she gets panicked a lot by seeing her friends hurt so running in with a medkit to clean them up is always her top priority. She hides it well but it stresses her out when hiro and violet aren’t around cause she’s worried they’ll get grievously injured in battle.

- she’s also big on words of affirmation, team hypeman to the extreme. She cares about her friends a whole lot and she will tell them exactly why with no excuse or insecurity allowed. This doesn’t go over well most of the time considering violet and hiro can’t handle compliments and wilbur will soak it in with way too wide a grin.

[angelbitezzz]

Don’t feel bad! You’re not obliged to have anon on! :0

Also, idk if it’ll let you answer this ask, but if so… I’ll take one of each, if that’s ok!!

💕👋⚖️⭐️⚫️❓

(If not then just whichever you’d like to share!)

Okay warning, this is way longer than I thought it would be! So I'm putting my answers under the cut here

For the 💕, I think this one [It Takes Two] works (ik in the source material its a song between sisters, but i read it differently for crossbones and starstruck. It's definitely a bit more high-energy and peppy than either of them actually are, but I see it more like the romantic dynamic between their heroic personas. It's all geared up to eleven--both of them have to act differently in costume.

For 👋, I like Hummingbird. The song is mostly just vibes but there's definitely lyrical significance for some aspects of their relationship, y'know? Plus, the whole scene that the song is from in Across the Spiderverse is two superheros taking time away just to spend it with eachother. Kinda perfect?

For ⚖️, Sunlight by Hozier definitely feels right. It's a sweet song, and there's significance in someone who's never known the sun ascribing it to someone in their life. Just saying :3

It is. SO HARD to find a good song for ⭐️. Maybe I should make a playlist...what do you guys think?

Anyways, Tarantula by Gorillaz. It's one of their sweeter songs, and it's about like...well, not settling for someone? More like choosing eachother even with the shit in either of their lives? Thats how i see it

Oof, I already posted a rather angsty one with another ask. For ⚫️, I think This December by Ricky Montgomery is a good one--though I almost considered another song from the same album, Snow. There's conflict, y'know, if internal--how do you separate someone you care for from someone who's sacrifice would mean so much to everyone you know? Morally, Sans is an interesting character (I'm talking largely of his Undertale iteration, but since ts underswap tries to keep things relatively unchanged in regards to personality, he also counts) because while he is someone who I'd consider a good person, he's the same guy who more than likely would've attacked frisk on sight if he wasn't such a loyal character. There's love here. There's also the persistent, nagging knowledge of what needs to be done.

And finally, ❓. For the miscellanious song, we have Stars In the Sky by Kid Cudi for the second Sonic thr Hedgehog movie. I know it's a little silly, but lyrically I consider it a fantastic song for Crossbones and Starstruck! Angel is no stranger to the villain that is being mentally ill, and being separated from everyone she knew and essentially becoming the local semi-homeless human in a place that, while very silly and kind, is still hostile to her sucks. Doing the superhero gig--or rather, participating in the saturday morning cartoon gimmicks as either Starstruck or Koffin K's Spooky Servant is a good distraction. She likes it, and she likes getting to spend time with Sans like that. In a way the Starlight Isles are something of an escape for her, a dream-like forest suspended in eternal twilight where she gets to play the hero or the villain on a whim, with no real consequences. For now.

AAAAND that's it! I actually...did not expect to write so much. For your trouble, here is a drawing of the goobers.

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s02e17: Knives S02 Table of Contents • previous episode

They have the space for an entire baseball field, but the hydroponics is so starved for space that one single coffee plant is wildly against regulations and is a secret passed from Laurel (my beloved) to Susan (also my beloved)?

Love the scary stories of the Down Below. It's deeply weird, though, how Garibaldi continues to be a voice of reason to Sheridan. Good character work, I guess, and I like Garibaldi a bit better the further into the season I get.

There are so many strange details thrown at us about various characters, and it definitely makes them feel more real Londo and Vir are very into Centauri opera. Of course they are, hah. This Centauri has a funny 'do. Is it shorter because he's more srs? His general look seems to be of a different style than Londo, and is reminiscent of a western casual, gentleman or scholarly look of the later 19th century.

Of course Sheridan went Down Below alone right after Garibaldi said that was a bad idea, and of course he found a corpse-turned-assailant-turned-corpse-again immediately.

Corpse reviving temporarily kills comms! Interesting!

Garibaldi: "Maybe next time you'll listen when I tell you not to do something. Sir."

lmao.

Dead Alien was staying in the Markab Sector, but was found in the Grey Sector, Down Below.

Fingers crossed for a Sheridan Gets Possessed By A Ghost episode.

Cute, Centauri war criminal nicknames.

Cool and creepy eye effect! Invisible Space Dinosaur called a Grylor!! This is great.

Forensics say the murdered alien actually bashed his own skull in and died of suicide. Seems unlikely.

Awww, Londo is still hung up on Adira from season one.

Londo: "The Centauri have bowed to the whims of other races for too long. Now we will show the galaxy our true spirit. Beginning with those, those, thrice-damned Narns."

Translation: "It sucks that we reined in some of our slave-empire colonization due to pressure from races who didn't like the violent, murdering colonizing. It's good to be back at it."

Huh, old war buddy is against the war and didn't want to see the Narns forced into military conflict. And doesn't realize he's talking to the guy who helped orchestrate all of it. Londo was either the best or the worst person to come to for help when your house is about to be disgraced. Idk which way Londo's going to jump or how this is going to land. On the one hand, Londo could chuck his old friend under the bus for his own gain. Or he could really save this guy's political reputation.

Of course Londo has a portrait of himself in his quarters. That's giving him some serious side-eye.

Susan Ivanova!!

Sheridan: "Commander. Everything in order?" Ivanova: "Remarkably so. It's beginning to worry me." Sheridan: "Do you always worry when things are going well?" Ivanova: "I don't have time to when they're not."

Sheridan gets more, fun, hallucinations! This is definitely normal and not something he should report to Dr Franklin. Anna keeps coming up which feeds my theory that she's still alive.

Oh, he did go report it to Franklin! Good move. Smartypants. Franklin is amusingly dismissive of this.

Dr Franklin: "Well, anyone wiling to command Babylon 5 has got to be slightly insane, but I don't think you're ready for the asylum just yet."

LMAO. What's a little hallucination or four compared to how nuts you have to be to take this job voluntarily?

Oh, interesting. The Markab sector is named after a people also called Markab?

Dr Franklin: "I'm also prescribing a mild sedative. I want you to relax and enjoy yourself - that is an order!"

aka, here's some oxys, go nuts?

Extremely cutthroat Centauri politics perfectly punctuated by Vir, here:

"You know, on rare occasions, I am proud to be your attache."

hah! He really is gaining in confidence.

Ahhh the Markab went through sector 14, which has been restricted since B4 disappeared and briefly re-appeared. dun dun dun!

I wonder if JMS realized that Garibaldi was wholly unlikable and shifted the writing for his character intentionally. Every time he's on screen the last few episodes, I find him easier and easier to like. Or maybe his relapse into alcoholism and subsequent recovery really shook some sense into him? He's funny and endearing now, in a way he wasn't for me since the pilot, The Gathering.

Centauri party. Always a good time to cringe out of my skin. Nothing has happened yet, but there's plenty of time left in the episode for it.

Of course the very person Londo went to for help is the one that has been trying to wreck the Laddo house. And of course Londo didn't know. He's so smug in his great political knowledge and power, but he ignored Centauri politics until something piques his interest and then he acts without knowing the details.

Vocator Laddo: "You cannot build an empire based on slaughter and deceit!"

well, actually I think that's the only way to build an empire and collect that much power, but you gotta start somewhere.

Death match!! Can't wait.

More possession and hallucinations for Sheridan!

Vir: "Disgrace is preferable to death!" Londo: "There was a time when I would agree with you! That time has passed." Vir: "Londo, this is insane!" Londo: "Insanity is part of the times! It's time to embrace the madness, let it fire you."

Maybe that really is the key. Or maybe I shouldn't take advice from Londo Mollari.

Sheridan and Garibaldi are heading to the restricted Sector 14!

Urza Laddo is much better at sword fighting than Londo is. But since I'm pretty sure Londo is in this show for the long run, this can't end with him being dead.

Garibaldi snagged Sheridan's ship, but did he get Sheridan's mind? This sector really does have some janky phenomena going on.

Damn, setting yourself up to be killed by one of your oldest friends so your family doesn't get disgraced by your political opponents is a move.

Sheridan's mind did come back with him, but he did leave behind a consciousness which wanted to be taken home. Weirdness abounds on B5!

House Laddo is no more, and its members are now House Mollari and under Londo's direct protection. That's an interesting cultural mechanism to make sure that people don't go into death matches too lightly. If you win, you get a whole fuckload of new dependents! I could also see people doing that to gain power over particular dependents, though.

Londo: "I have made many choices lately, Vir. And for the first time, I am not sure those choices were right." Vir, tired of being the Jiminy Cricket to the worlds' worst Pinocchio: "Then perhaps some good has come out of this tragedy! It's not too late to make some good choices." Londo buying into the Sunk Cost Fallacy: "No, the blood is already on my hands. Right or wrong, I must follow the path to its end."

It's a real bummer that killing one of his oldest and dearest friends isn't enough to make Londo actually change some of what he's up to or to second-guess some aspects of Centauri culture..

next episode

[applestorms]

i'm in a bit of a john mood atm, so i wanted to write a post about some of the things that i think fanon gets wrong about him. the biggest thing is that imo a lot of people flatten john a ton in considering him the poster child for Homestuck™ as a story, which sucks because i think it should go the opposite way around. he's the prototype kid, yes, but that just means his unique traits have interesting implications for the rest of the story and homestuck's core themes, not that he doesnt have any unique traits to begin with. john informs homestuck of its themes, the story doesn't inform him of his character traits; sburb gives him the kernelsprite, but he & his friends are the ones doing the prototyping.

so, then, what are those character traits? who is john as a person and how does that inform the story as a whole?

TL;DR: if jade's overarching story arc is about the struggle of loneliness & isolation, john's is about the feeling of falling behind your peers, which is why i think his ending the story depressed works so well

trapped in the s(u)burbs

okay, argument: SBURB is clearly pronounced "sss-burb," like suburb but skipping over the first u. when the kids enter the session they are basically trapped in the world of the game until they can beat it and make the new universe -> they are trapped in the s(u)burbs -> they are home, stuck.

this is a weird line of thought but it's kinda interesting to go through the ways that the (human) kids are trapped in their homes, both physically and emotionally. rose is stuck in that she lives seemingly in the middle of fuckin' nowhere surrounded by a forest, dave is stuck in his apartment due to being watched by an abusive parent, and jade, jake, roxy, & dirk are all stuck in the middle of the ocean. john (and jane) however? they're just in the suburbs.

idk how much this cultural context translates to people living in other countries, but john & jane's original neighborhood is the fucking Epitome of modern american suburbia. i cannot emphasize enough just how much i fucking despise neighborhoods like this: sprawling and empty, they are a modern labyrinth to navigate. every single house looks like it was copy and pasted one spot over, the streets are all named the same thing but with slight differences ("Bluejay Road" vs. "Bluejay Lane" vs "Bluebird Court" HELL), driving through them is agony and walking is impossible. my dad pointed out to me one time that every single house looks like it was painted with a different shade of baby shit and he was correct. and this is not even mentioning the people that live there: i don't want to overgeneralize too much, but these houses are usually pretty big and the fact that they're supposed to be a "safer" place to raise kids makes them decently expensive, so these places are generally very white, very upper-middle class, and you can just. Feel It in the air

so this is where john starts his story. the page (A1:82) was one of the first things that caught my eye when reading homestuck originally, even as a dumb little preteen the age of the characters themselves with barely any greater social consciousness. john starts the story fucking around in his room, talking to all of his friends online, and who could ever blame him when it's such an american wasteland outside. not to get too far into my opinions on american architecture, but if you live anywhere in the united states and ESPECIALLY the suburbs you are basically trapped in the house until you can get your license at 16, transportation entirely at the whims of where your parents can/want to drive you. it makes sense, then, that john's aspect is breath and so heavily tied to transportation, a desire to get out and moving and interacting with the world. the sick irony of sburb, imo, is how that desire is later twisted against him.

when john first enters the session, meteors are beginning to destroy the world and the rest of the entire human population of earth. but to a kid for whom the entire world feels so far away and empty, how much does that really matter? especially when your internet friends, the few people you actually care about, are just going to enter the same game and escape along with you. speaking of,

2. social anxiety & internet friends

one thing i really like about the alpha kids is the fact that you can kinda reverse engineer them and their core character traits from the beta kids, which actually still works within the logic of canon if you consider their biological relationships. not only do the alphas and betas share chumhandle initials, but the person they share with is also the person they are most similar to across generational lines:

rose & dirk are both anal retentive motherfuckers + rose's interest in psychology informs dirk's interest in philosophy/old greek dudes, roxy & dave care about their friends to a fault and serve their needs constantly (emotionally vs. practically, maybe; and also maybe are in love with all their friends to some degree or another too?), jane & jade both have ties with their respective universe-iteration's first guardian and are mentally separated from everyone else at the start of their arcs (jane by not believing roxy and jade by getting prospit visions).

imo rose & dirk have the strongest connection and jade & jane the weakest, and each kid is also pretty unique on their own + informed by their more direct familial relationship too, but i think the chumhandle connection is key in understanding how the characters were initially created in terms of basic personalities, likes, dislikes, etc. since it fits with the stacking nature of how homestuck as a whole functions, both as a story and a world.

so: john & jake. i think fandom has actually done a good job with learning how to appreciate jake better in recent years by figuring out just how much of a persona he puts on to hide his intelligence, but since this is a john post, what's really interesting to me is how that might inform the way we view john.

to start, there are some really obvious connections between john & jake that are as clear as jake's first letter to john (A4:1955): both like pretty shitty movies, are allergic to peanuts, and they're practically identical in terms of appearance. what i see as the key connection however, which informs the entirety of homestuck's medium, is their shared social anxiety.

jake is a very socially anxious dude. all of the alphas are characterized by their inability to communicate and navigate interpersonal relationships, but this is especially true for jake, and i think the most obvious evidence for this is in the specific kind of character that he creates for himself. while realistically we know that jake spends most of his time (pre-brobot, at least) watching movies alone in his room, he specifically likes to take on the persona of an adventurous, extroverted action hero, charming and gentlemanly and generally a dumb jock. it's the dumb part that's important here: jake pretends to be a dumbass himbo so that when he fucks up and hurts people when he manipulates them into doing what he wants, he doesn't have to shoulder as much guilt/blame. he plays up being stupid specifically to avoid the agony of people being mad at him, caring way too much about other people's opinions (A6A2:4587). it's why the trickster arc is so painful for him, and also why he is so non-confrontational.

john is also pretty socially anxious, though i think it's a lot more subtle for him since john's upbeat personality isn't entirely a facade in the way that it is for jake. the most obvious evidence for this is again the fact that he only talks to, like, three people online and his dad. despite being 13, none of these kids ever mention jack shit about school or the other members of humanity about to be murdered by meteors from their own game, and i think that's more than just a necessity of the story considering how much homestuck seems to value realism (at least in terms of characters' emotional reactions & arc). john's dad (as pipefan413) clearly knows the neighbors since in the serious business chatting app you can see fedorafreak & the others also talking about escaping meteors, but the existence of any other kids in the neighborhood is unknown, though i would think likely considering john's early arc is set up to be as normal as possible to set up for the crazy bullshit later. (there's also the whole thing about john's peanut allergy + fear of the "peanut gallery" so)

since homestuck tells almost its entire story through the chatlogs of awkward teenagers, this is one key place where i think john's personality informs homestuck: namely, in its focus on isolation, loneliness, and growing up. SPEAKING OF,

3. childhood ignorance

jake isn't dumb, john isn't dumb, but why do so many people think that they are? for jake it's pretty clearly cause he wants it that way, but for john... i think it's cause he kind of. is? but also, he isn't. let me explain:

john often comes across to me as the most 13 year old 13 year old in the cast of homestuck. he's a sweet kid and intelligent enough for his age, but when that age is 13, there's not necessarily a lot there. john has also had the closest (closest. there's still a lot of weird shit there) thing to a Normal™ childhood out of the entire cast of homestuck (and yes that includes jane, she was the heiress to a corporate empire avoiding assassination attempts at 16, please don't call that shit normal), meaning that, in my opinion, a lot of his (lack of) maturity can be attributed to growing up pretty sheltered. where dave and rose had to contend with overt childhood abuse through toxic/neglectful parents, and even jade had to deal with a dog-parent & dead grandpa, john got a dad that actually cared about him.

this is not a bad thing in and of itself, but john being sheltered does mean that by the time they are actually entering the game and interacting with all these other worlds & alien peoples, he is imbued with a certain distinct ignorance of the greater world that becomes a very significant weakness in a story fucking dripping with semi-omniscient narrators that live to make you suffer. and, from the way he scribbles on the walls (A3:1049), this is something john is both aware of and frustrated with, calling himself a FOOL, tying to the tarot card (#1, his role as protagonist), the harlequin thing (clowns & their incredible pull on the meta of homestuck), & his anxieties (feeling ignorant & out of your depth stepping out of childhood into a world much broader and more complex and cruel than you're prepared for)

4. not a homosexual

i think i'm gonna run out of space here, so i'm just gonna copy & paste some hussie commentary here & maybe reblog this w/ some analysis of john & karkat's dynamic/parallels as "leaders" later (and maybe some june thoughts too):

5. successfully saved the world: the hero is depressed

okay, so earlier in part 1 i ended with a question:

but to a kid for whom the entire world feels so far away and empty, how much does that really matter?

i mostly left the answer to this implied earlier since it made more sense for the transition, but i think homestuck proper does give us an answer to this: it does matter! it just isn't until the end of the story, after they've won the game and finished the session, that it really starts to set in the extent of what they've lost.

so this entire post was largely motivated by another post i read earlier, which questioned why john in the snapchat credits didn't just go to live with the crockers. i gave a long ass commentary in the notes on that post, but my conclusion was basically this: john is depressed (!!!) and depression makes you apathetic & lose all motivation to do anything.

i've focused a lot on john's early life and the beginning of the story in this post, which is maybe in part because i've been rereading from the beginning recently, but also because john kind of loses touch with everyone else in the story as soon as he enters the session.

i think this is often read as just being a product of john's classpect, heir of breath. john doesn't just inherit breath when he godtiers, he also becomes it in a very literal sense (can't fucking find the page where he transforms into wind but ugh, whatever), so he when he literally loses touch with the reality of the story after gaining his retcon powers, it follows with the thematic concept of him being breath. this isn't bad, but i think it also goes further, again connecting with that idea that john is basically the "main character" of homestuck, which is actually a very unfortunate title as it means john in particular gets very wrapped up sburb & the story as a whole in a very literal sense. again: retcon powers.

for all my frustrations with the execution of the retcon, i can't deny that it makes a shit ton of sense for john to get those kinds of powers, since his character and position as the starting kid has always been so closely entwined with the story of homestuck as a whole (see: the entire rest of this post). it also ties back to that idea of john being particularly vulnerable as a naive kid in a world of maliciously omniscient characters (e.g. doc scratch, but also vriska/terezi & all of the trolls to some degree), puppetted around by the story and slowly losing all connections with "reality" and the rest of the cast (his friends!!)

you know all those scenes where john starts interacting w/ the shittily-drawn caliborn versions of all his friends? (or this page: (A6I5:6207)) that has always come across as kind of sad to me, because it feels representative of john's (lack of) connections to his friends by that point in the story. he gets so swept up in Plot Bullshit that he basically loses most of the contact he has w/ the people that were his closest friends for years (ik people hate inversion theory but he & karkat really are complementary in some ways), and that loss of connection just exacerbates his previous anxieties about being ignorant. the conversation between him, dave, & karkat on the meteor is really revealing of this (A6A6I5:7487). where dave & karkat & everyone else got three years to sort through their shit together, john was getting dragged off to make the story make sense again, technically completely losing everyone he had known and grown up with. it's not just that dad crocker is different: everyone is different.

(this also has the kind of even more depressing alternate implication that john doesn't even really get the chance to feel that difference outside of jade, since he wasn't able to connect with "his" original dave, rose, etc. in the pre-retcon timeline regardless. great!)

john's depression has always been one of my favorite parts of his character arc tbh, which ig is a weird thing to say, but it just makes so much sense to me as the next step in his story, if not the true conclusion. it's only after winning the game that john really starts to catch up with everyone else in terms of maturity and understanding, and by that point, when everyone already feels so far ahead, how could he possibly catch up? (the answer is that he can, just not alone, but it is that exact feeling of not being able to that makes him isolate in the first place. depression is a fucking shithole)

so much of homestuck is about loneliness, but in turn so much of homestuck is also about social connections, about the people around you that you love and care about and change your life. where karkat is able to heal the connections of the people around him by helping them through their interpersonal relationship bullshit, john gets caught in the wind of the plot and loses his connections, thus losing his ability to really mature as a person at the same rate as everyone else (not to mention how he might've felt behind in the first place). but still, even w/ john's arc ending on a heavy, perhaps unsatisfying note at the end of homestuck proper, i like to think there's still a lot of hope for him: after all, his dearest friends and family are all right there. he just needs to get off his ass and start talking to them.

(sidenote: while editing this part of the post, i suddenly realized just how sad it is that karkat and john talk so goddamn little in all of the post-canon shit. which fucking sucks actually because karkat would be the perfect person to yell at someone until they finally get off their ass and start trying to be a person again, exactly what john needs after the game imho. pumpkin route you are forming in my mind)

uhh anyways, i don't know how good of a job i did at tying this post back to my original goal, but if you read this far, thank you. i have been typing nonstop for like four straight hours (ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᶦʳᵗᵉᵉⁿ ᵐᶦⁿᵘᵗᵉˢˀ) and i think my right ring finger is about to fall off.

bonus: 6. john is hussie???

OKAY, actual finale, this is quick and dumb but this idea comes pretty much entirely from a couple random lines of hussie commentary from a john & dave conversation on (A2:324):

John makes some pretty sassy quips here. I like the "15th day in a row" line, which makes sense since I was the one who actually said it in a real conversation about this.

most people make the connection between hussie & dave (& dirk, i suppose) since dave's sense of humor is basically just unfiltered hussie, but this comment makes me wonder what was put into john too (though i suppose you could consider all fictional characters imbued with some aspect of their author). i'm not super into psychoanalyzing hussie as a person through homestuck itself, but if you're into that, here ya go.

[imaginespazzi]

NIVI! Bestie, how you doing? I miss ya! I FINALLY have a bit of spare time to just breathe and what better way to spend it than write a lil (long) review for GH.

The entire flashback killed me a little (a lot). Poor P 🥺

While I was hoping against all hope that we’d find out that Azzi was actually in the crowd somewhere that P wouldn’t spot her, I love that you didn’t end up going that route. Like you said, that would have been too easy and no doubt, if Az was there and P somehow spotted her, they probably would have been back together by the time it took P to get back the locker room lmao.

But wait, not even Tim and Katie went to watch her play her first game there?? Damn, BIG BIG SAD.

Like, the ex-wife reporter gal (I know her name but she doesn’t really exist in my mind you know hahah) got to witness P’s first game in person and Azzi didn’t??? I’m SICK. SICK, NIVI!

Drew asking if he should call Azzi really broke my fucking heart, Nivi. I can’t really blame him for having so much resentment towards Azzi; watching his sister, who he worships, break like that and never be quite the same again would make me resentful as hell too. Like, I too, would be telling Paige towards the Empire State.

Despite all that though, and maybe it’s my complete bias towards Azzi (it most definitely is), I’m still giving Azzi the benefit of the doubt about what all went down.

I think P said in a previous chapter that she knows Azzi had her reasons but wishes Azzi could have just looked past them. And so, I do feel like princess had valid reasons, albeit reasons they probably could have worked through, but still.

And then coming back to present day, omg, LET STEPHIE HAVER HER SODA!

But nah, Stephie turning to P and asking who could ever break P’s heart (broooo, that was just diabolical, like ok Stephie girl, CALL OUT YOUR MUM even though you have no idea it was her lol).

LOVE LOVE LOVE Azzi finally putting her foot down with the whole P constantly giving into Stephie and her whims and demands. I know P wants to be Stephie’s parent but she really gotta start acting a bit more like one ya know. I know that she’s probably scared to overstep boundaries and so it’s always easier to go down the “spoiling” route than the “discipline” route but girl please, just say no every once in a blue moon – it’s standard character building!

I’m just gonna ignore how it ended cause Stephie DOES NOT deserve that. Lil pookie just wanted a soda and instead she gets that?! UGH.

Random side note: they do be having A LOT of pizza in this fic!

What’s next?

I’m so excited for us to eventually get Azzi’s POV on the whole breakup! I think the part that interests me most, and maybe I’ve said it before and you’ve already touched on it before (so excuse my goldfish memory), is that they broke up.

Cause like I get Azzi maybe just not being ready for an engagement or marriage, but to break up? I mean, yes of course I also understand that Azzi not being ready to marry P and them being on different pages in that regard is enough grounds for a breakup but I also struggle to think that P wouldn’t have fought for them to still be together regardless? Like did it really have to be marriage or nothing? It's giving Rory and Logan (love me some Gilmore Girls and yes admittedly, I am team Logan) 😭😩 Idk am I even making sense, I’m just having a brain fart tbh lol.

Man, I’m so curious what Azzi does in that moment after overhearing the Liberty plan – does she just book it out of there and straight to Cancun with Stephie??? And like oof the Stephie/Paige angst we’re about to witness… but like I’m actually hella curious just how Stephie reacts to it – cause like she could just become extra clingy and be begging her Miss Buecks to stay or does she just go full on sour grapes mode and give P the biggest cold shoulder silent treatment ever. OMG is she about to go call Aunty Chérie again?

ALSO, this is all still before the season starts?? Bro that next training session boutta be TENSE. Jana and Tessa just be there side-eyeing lol.

I just need the pookies to make up you know. Like I know deep down Drew wants his pookie back, like come on Drew, GIVE IN!

P.S: Babes, if Dallas ends up with the no 1 pick, we might have to re-evaluate this whole fic! 🤪

Favourite line:

“Stephie, no” Azzi repeats, pinching the bridge of her nose as Drew and Paige exchange nervous glances. 

“Stephie, yes,” the little girl argues, stubbornly crossing her hands over her chest. 

^I just love bratty Stephie 😂

Anyway, thank you for feeding us angst fiends, but if you could please fix this ASAP (when you have time) and get back to some fluffity fluff fluff, that would be much appreciated!

P.P.S: I’m sooooo pumped for Azzi to come back – like Geno trying his hardest to not grin every time he gets asked about when she’s coming back, like OK GRANDPA we get it, you’re desperate to get her back on that court too. I’m watching you though – you are on notice! Those knees better be taken care off 😤 Also, UNC preparing for Azzi even though Grandpa’s already said she’s not playing – I LOLed but like so fair though cause I could actually see him contemplate putting Azzi even for 5 mins if we’re not doing too hot. But that ain’t gonna happen cause tbh UNC ain’t move me much and so I feel like we should win semi-comfortably but those were my famous last words too before the NC State game last year sooo 🫠

I just love college ball being back! I must admit I kinda love watching Notre Dame play (I hate that I do, I’m sorry!!) I’m really liking Liatu King!

Alright, I think that’s long enough omg lol.

Love ya, bestie. Take care always! 💗

-🙋‍♀️

OMG OMG OMG BESTIE I'VE MISSED YOUR REVIEWS SO MUCH I'M SO GLAD YOU HAD TIME TO DO ONE THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY TO SEE <3

I almost, almost did add in a line about Azzi being there but yeah, in the end I think it was also realistic for her not to be because seeing Paige would've been hard. But that doesn't mean she didn't watch the game on TV with shiny proud eyes every time Paige did Paige things on the court.

I love how people are in two camps of calling Azzi an opp or sticking to the well it's Azzi, princess obviously had her reasons lmao.

Yeah I think Paige is just so afraid of overstepping her boundaries and in way she kind of needs Azzi to give her permission to do that but if she wants that role, she's gotta take the curses with cuddles that comes with having children lmao.

LMFAO they do have a lot of Pizza lol. It's just easy to write in I guess for like what a child (and Paige) would definitely eat lol.

GILMORE GIRLS REFERENCE!! But babes for the first time in your life, you've lost me by being team Logan. TEAM JESS4LIFE!

Wouldn't it be funny is she brought up Clemence again?

Jana's about to be hella pissed at them I fear like how dare they...again.

Drew wouldn't be so mad at Azzi if he didn't miss her.

AZZI COMING BACK THIS WEDNESDAY BABES I'M CALLING IT!!! But fr grandpa be smiling so hard every time she's brought up like he's salivating for her comeback just as much as we are.

[gynandromorph]

potential spoilers but, do things stick in stasis outside of Jessie's AOE of awareness, or do they update based on whatever she vaguely thinks they may have? would someone who was, say, building a birdhouse, make actual progress while outside the Area Of Existence, or only be able to work on it while Jessie was near, or just be however far along in building it Jessie would assume they'd be, if she was aware of the project. are people aware of when they continue existing? (cont)

(cont idk how people are sending such long asks) in terms of the AOE and basically being subjected to Jessie's whims, is there any insight into the horrifying experience of being not-Jessie in this world? or, as Jessies role is that of the author, is everyone elses experience inconsequential as if they were really fictional characters, and the only thing about them that actually functionally exists is how Jessie reacts to them? Finally: what did she WANT in the Shiloh sushi comic?? thanks again

long askers please reveal your long ask secrets...

things outside of jessie's awareness "continue existing" insofar that one might assume characters off-screen continue existing. the blanks are filled in once they need to be, when jessie's awareness is brought back into range. the person building the birdhouse would make as much progress as jessie... not even expected, but wanted.

people are not necessarily aware of the gaps in time; they, too, feel as though they've existed the entire time, as the mind usually fills in gaps of consciousness or doesn't notice them at all. jessie may have noticed the gaps in existence.

for their experiences outside of jessie... i'm currently drawing a strip about shiloh and their blue jay ex that explores that a bit. i might eventually draw a funny strip of two construction workers who just deal with absurd happenings around them while on the job, like sudden sharknadoes or a coworker being mauled by a pack of flying dogs or the summer day abruptly turning to a cold winter's night 12 minutes into their shift. however, as the story progresses, the inner lives of other characters eventually only become what jessie finds interesting as she takes control of the various elements of the setting. they only exist outside of jessie for as long as they are the first god's writing instead of hers.

she wanted to argue in the sushi comic because she was used to arguing about food. she didn't know how to react except to continue arguing regardless of the response.

[meet-the-coffee]

TF2 Fucked Up-Au (or something)

I once started working on a totally odd as shit au that I forgot about, and I didn't even finish working on what the au's theme was, nor what each merc would be like to make it this a unique au????

DISCLAIMER: i don't agree with any of the weird shit these characters do in this au. But horror exists for a reason :)

Anyway here's what I remember:

Scout:

Is like a total stoner. Chill as hell. Piercings. Smokes cigarettes too. Fuckin dumbass. Comes to work high all the time. Doesn't give too much of a shit about much. Has ladies over often but never catches any feelings. Thinks Miss Pauling is just an object he wants to smash. He's an asshole. I hate him, he's a lil shit.

Pyro:

Actual serial killer. Tall as shit. Wide... Doesn't talk. Just breathes loudly and axes you to death or sets you on fire. Isn't as much of a "rainbow pyroland of unicorns and sunshine" as it is that he's complete and utter danger. A psycho. Tall and strong enough to michael myers-chokehold you with one hand against a wall.

Made up on a whim:

Sniper:

Total fucking sociopath. He's the crazed gunman with mental sickness that his canon counterpart in Meet the Sniper says he is NOT... yeah this guy doesn't snicker because he shot someone, or that he likes clicking on heads for the funsies, or for money... this guy loves all of that, but is a fucking creep while at it. He freaks people out. He isn't trying to be discrete while stalking people but he is so damn good at his interest - He is silent as death. He will stalk you home. He will watch you sleep through the window, preferrably snap a few photos or just find your breathing nice to listen to. He likes to feel warm blood on his fingers and loves that metallic smell. He's into weird shit. Don't be near him because he's unpredictable as fuck. He's manipulative, seem friendly, and then once you turn your back, you'll wake up two days later high as shit with a pounding headache, bound with your hands behind your back to an iron bar. He probably uses you for aim practice while drunk as hell. Do. Not. Turn your eyes. Away from him.

Spy:

Spy is anxious and emotional as hell, paranoid as shit and his worst-case scenario is The People finding him, especially if they find out Scout is his son. He does everything to push Scout away only because he doesn't want anything to happen to him. He's on a heavy dosage of medication to deal with it all.

Demoman:

He is so tidy. He's trying to remain composed and watches his friends get fucked up and he can't even do anything about it. He hates it. It tears him to bits when he's trying to sleep. But he likes to help, he listens to their rambles and keeps an ear out to pick up on his friends needs. He was raised by his mom and she taught him to be a kind and sensitive boy.

Medic:

I can't quite make my mind up on this guy. It's so cliché to just make him an utter lunatic but I don't feel him to be a soft guy either. There's a connection to his friends but I can't quite tell what it would be. It's a huge w.i.p.

...

Engie, Heavy and Soldier I'm don't know at all yet. And nothing is set in stone anyway.

Miss Pauling might just be an evil and fucked up gal who works like a puppet under the Administrator, idk,,

This is what I've got so far :')

[2dboisloyal-devotee]

Would you still love me if I was a worm?

Contains: Your question about being a worm and their opinion, short crack-ish? fluff, shu's being a bit of a jerk :( kinda suggestive & use of pet name on Helvetica's part, dissecting mentions in Mozu's part, tiny little few spoilers aha

x GN Reader

Feat. The main guys and Teuta (bcs I just love her as a protag, honestly I love all of them except Helvetica idk I'm just not into him)

Anyway, I will start from the most left character on the pic.

>)~Imagines/headcanons

—Mozu Nile Shepherd

You must already know what you've gotten yourself into when you ask him.

Mozu merely confirms you at first if you meant that literally or as in methaporical sense of inner beauty, so you answer him that it's literal.

Yeah... You expect it would go exactly like this. “Putting love aside... For me, you would still be an intriguing living being—full of life that I'd like to find out and delve into. Despite being in a small-scale size, the intricate details structured within worms aren't to be taken lightly ... ”

There's a hint of a budding smile on his face as he tells you thoroughly about fun facts of worms and his experience of dissecting a poor random earthworm he found not long after his parents' passing as a 'training'.

In a way, he still does show his interest in your form as a worm so that answers your question from before, at least...?

|×××××|

—Helvetica Orsted

Looks at you perplexed, but Helvetica soon replies with a tight-lipped smile. “Aren't you already my sweet little worm, sugarplum?” That's a silent warning.

You won't be safe from relentless teasing and innuendos with this guy—no, screw it, you are pretty much not safe being around him especially if you're his partner.

Asking that question is just a bad move on your part because that treatment will increase tenfold for the rest of the day, he's giving you no mercy as it's his chance to fluster you.

Though, not all bad considering he pampers you with a skincare and spa session from him personally which may or may not lead further down... to distracting advances.

At this point you might forget about the question since you already have your hands full just focusing on his passionate affection of prove...

|♦♦♦♦♦|

—Teuta Bridges

Teuta tilts her head, frowning deep in thought wondering how would the best response be. It's like you can hear the gears in her brain working around the cycle.

“This is not another one of your trick questions, right?” She pouts before considering your reply that you're just curious about her answer to your silly little question, that's all.

Teuta will smile in the end, putting her hand on hip as a show of unshaking will that she's sure of it.

“I would let you out to your right habitat since I love you, so don't worry about it!” she nods for a good measure.

Ah... Good old simpleminded thinking can lead you to satisfying conclusion sometimes, you feel kind of confused on how to react since she's that genuine...

|☆☆☆☆|

—Limbo Scott Fitzgerald

The type of guy who says he still loves you no matter what's your appearance, added with a concerned smile of his.

He would kind of worry but more to curious about the reason you're asking. Like, “Why do you ask?”

Just making sure, you know? Maybe something bothers you so that's why you would ask that kind of question in the first place.

After he's convinced wholly this is just another one of your whims, he turns the question right back at you, already grinning confidently. “Now that you got your answer now, how about me if I were in that position?”

You wouldn't refuse a worm like him when you're already his partner and all, right? It's only fair, as a part of give and take from both sides' reciprocating feelings.

|♣♣♣♣♣|

—Shu Lyn O'Keefe

“..No.”

Doesn't elaborate, doesn't humor you, doesn't even try to keep up the topic. Shu only stares at you with unreadable expression although his brows seem creased slightly.

“What are you planning this time?” he sighs. “You know that kind of question won't get me and you anywhere, right?”

If he could be honest right now, the mere thought of you being a worm is just... He hates the feeling of imagining it. If you were only a worm, you wouldn't be the you right now standing in front of him; the same person; or the person he loves even for that matter. It would be pointless, he wouldn't even reach life this far without you.

He realizes trying to explain it to you would be a drag, so he doesn't give you a much of an opinion. He ends up taking you out for a drive and maybe a walk together. “The fresh air might be what you really need to clear your mind off the clutter junk in there.”

|♠♠♠♠♠|

—Scarecrow

The kind of reactions he shows are varying, it feels like you're watching through someone's five stages of acceptance which for Crow is registering your question. “Eh!? Ah! Um, wait, of course...?”

He's considering to call for Anima's aid for this perfect moment, he doesn't though since he decides it would be inappropriate of him as your boyfriend...

Crow eventually—after having to take a deep breath—answers you, “I would.. take care of you and make you a good home in my room with the proper environment and food but yeah because I love you and I think that's what I think is best if you about to become—I mean, if you were a.. worm...”

Poor guy feels like he has run a lap or something as he soon tries to catch his breath.

He will be all the more clingy and whiny the rest of the day like a koala to a tree since he worries if you would turn yourself into a worm any moment.

Taglist; @weirdfallencreature

[reap-the-game]

Personal, ooc, but this ties to Gia also (really he's the whole culprit for it) and I'm just Excited over it so you'll get to hear it under the cut anyway. Long ramblings.

So I made Gia sometime in December of 2022, in-game, then started rping him with the ever wonderful captainqster like... Idk man, three or four days later.

Let me check actually.

Two days later, okay. We went fast I guess.

ANYWAY. Gia very, very quickly ate up all of my interest, creative energy and drive, not to mention within a few months he had fully become my main in the game, entirely usurping poor Saahe despite being canonically an NPC, whereas Saahe made a legitimately good WoL and I could really get into the story with him.

And yet, Gia. Gia became my everything, and the friends that have known me the longest were commenting that I really just related to him on a level I never have with any other character I've played.

I couldn't exactly deny that, seeing all the evidence.

Now, a bit of context. Saahe was my first and my original FFXIV character, and when making him my thought process was "okay, what's the most personally attractive character I can make in this character creator", which led to Saahe. I think he's hot, appearance wise! I'm very very ace, but you know, aesthetically.

Gia was made on a whim and with an entirely different goal in mind. My thought process behind his appearance was more "if I could be anything in this game, what would it be?"

You might be able to see where this is going based on that alone.

Of course then I went on to mod him to be more in line with the vision I had for him, which led to him getting that hourglass figure and nearly getting entirely, fully castrated before I refrained just enough to leave his dick in peace. It wasn't just to please me, it did have IC reasons, but put a pin on that preferring the look of a male with all external sexual organs removed still in the context of "if I could be anything, what would it be".

So there I am, doing all of this to Gia, while relating like all hell to Gia, while suffering from an intense case of body envy given to me by Gia. More background, then: I've always considered agender to be my preferred identity/closest descriptor to how I feel about gender and shit. Agender, aro, ace, a-everything essentially. However, my appearance has always been very in line with gender binary.

And while I've been indifferent to genders, I have not been indifferent to my own body parts and how against what I feel they go. I've always had dysphoria, but I've kinda just dealt with it, mostly probably assumed everyone's equally unhappy with their bodies. Joke's on me there.

But now there's been Gia and me being kinda... Forced to confront the fact he is so much what I would want to be, physically. He's wonderfully caught between traditionally male and female features, is also very indifferent to his gender, and loosely considers himself a male only for the ease of it because it was the sex he grew up into in puberty and has those sexual organs (sans what's been removed).

And all of that has made my dysphoria flare up like all hell!

So after things kinda came to a head and I spent one total day crying over how unhappy I was with my body, I started to actually look into straight up transitioning and how that works in my country. And it got me very... Excited? Hopeful kinda? Like maybe I could be happy with my body eventually?

After sleeping on that 'cause being super emotional and very upset is no state of mind to make big decisions in, I took a lil step and sent an email to a social worker of a gender diversity organization, explaining my situation and my concerns a bit and just this "idk who to talk to about this". It's hard to doubt my dysphoria and want to change things after living with it since puberty which wasn't exactly recently, but of course it's still a big thing to consider and not something I want to think on alone, while also not knowing how my nurse and doctor would react if I brought it up with them. Or my old therapist, for that matter; we had other things to discuss during my three years with her than my dysphoria that I'd sort of just resigned myself to at the time, and I made Gia shortly before my therapy ended so then there just was no time anymore.

I wasn't expecting a response to my email right away, but I actually got an email back the next day! In which the worker suggested an appointment to discuss my situation, my worries, and what might be the right next steps for me to take. So I scheduled one, and that will be in about two weeks.

So yeah everything is only just at the very beginning, but I haven't felt this... Optimistic? Hopeful? About my future? In a long time? Like atm, before discussing anything with a professional, I would kinda hope to have two surgeries to make myself look more androgynous. Change my name into something less gendered too, most likely. Other stuff is more in consideration, but those first two I've been dreaming off for a ridiculously long time without ever actually thinking that hey, maybe they'd be possible even, and I've never been very fond of my name. I'd need to get a diagnosis first obviously, and that'll inevitably take a while, and then everything else afterwards, but I've cracked the first door open kinda? So maybe? Maybe I can get there?

I don't need the gender on my legal papers to change, I don't care that much and legally you gotta be one or the other, I just don't want to look like one or the other. Let me have the same confusing aura Gia does.

I've also been laughing over how the reaction of everyone online who knows me to any extent has been just a resounding "and no one was surprised". Apparently my vibes and how I've talked have been just a lil like that for the longest time.

But yeah. Thank you Gia for this, you funny little bunny. And if you've read this far, thank you for the time and all the best!

[5-7-9]

I started thinking too focused on this for some reason again, I’m not even into Khoa’s character too 😥 Obviously Khoa isn’t super close with the batfam, but if he were to have a dynamic… he feels like the petty pranking sorta type where he frustrates everyone around him on purpose only to disappear mysteriously.

Dick immediately recognizes Khoa, he is constantly on the offensive whenever they meet for maybe heroic reasons. Khoa is sorta confused as to why, but he makes sure to dodge every single hit/swing even when he’s trying to be sorta heroic.

Jason and him accidentally cross paths when they’re trying to kill someone. Khoa is constantly talking about Batman and bragging his privileges. Jason tries to hit/stab him which Khoa almost allows just to see how much pressure Jason would put into it.

Tim researched Khoa and is coming up with all these plans and tries to manipulate Khoa, which works but halfway through Khoa reveals how he was actually the one manipulating Tim’s manipulating. They keep trying to one up each other, and Khoa actually finds this kinda fun to mess with him.

Barbara is actually doing the same thing as Tim except it’s slightly more complicated and includes lying to people she knows so oopsies but it’s on purpose ahah. Barbara got closer than Tim and it will actually work but only for a short amount of time. Khoa has to respect her for it, if/when he realizes he’s been duped.

I swear Khoa literally said in canon that he likes Damian. He said that about Talia too. There is legit no competition of favoritism because it’s canon. He likes the cold blooded killers. Damian of course, thinks he’s boring. But he’s really good at fighting and somehow Khoa beats Damian so Damian finds him hecka unworthy of being this powerful because of Khoa’s reasons to use his power. There’s the potential of them training together but I guess Khoa already trained with Talia and Bruce so it’d be the same. Actually, I bet that’s the exact reason why he likes him. Damian reminds Khoa of when he trained with Bruce (and Talia too a bit). Wow, nostalgia.

I mentioned offhandedly that Cass would pity Khoa, which she shows by beating Khoa in battle, and offering help or suggesting redemption. She’s done this before, actually. Obviously Khoa will reject, which just makes Cass knock him out in disappointment. Khoa will have to keep his distance from her. I guess Khoa could try training with Cass, I think that’s a weird situation because Khoa will lose no questions about it so idk. Khoa finds Cass a disappointment, just like Bruce, she could be using that power for something better, ironically enough since Damian said the same thing about him. Also yeah no, just because Khoa and Cass are Asian doesn’t mean they’ll get along. Khoa is barely attached to his family, his culture, anyone, that will never happen realistically I’m sorta sorry.

I don’t think i need to add on for Steph and Duke, oh I guess for Khoa’s reaction to them i will. I doubt Khoa cares about the whims of a kid that needed a father. Sure she’s interesting as far as besting him eventually, but Steph never got past it. Khoa would glance at her, think yeah that’s neat but she should be be better, should as in she’s just not what he needs, and then never glance back… So Steph can do her usual bad person deserves to get beaten up while Khoa will ignore her ironically just like everyone else

Duke is the same way, but he thinks Duke’s kid activism is worthless instead. I have no clue how Khoa handles superpowers but I guess he’d about that stuff. Supernatural stuff really annoys the “realistic” type of people. Duke will beat Khoa too so he has to avoid him, he manages but sometimes gets caught off guard. I don’t think there’s anything where they get along or not, but they agree to disagree.

Ehhh if I would guess how the batfam thinks about ghostmaker 🤔💭

Dick obviously hates him for his bad history with Bruce but he also just doesn’t believe he meets the standard. Dick’s standard’s for Bruce’s partner include basically the perfect person ever (Clark) or someone that can get Batman to rest (Selina). Something which Khoa resembles neither.

Jason would get really jealous(?) or outraged that Khoa has killed before and is still being treated better than he ever did. He could’ve possibly gotten along with Khoa if Khoa weren’t aligned with Bruce.

Tim thinks his skills and assets would be useful, but Khoa’s personality would be a hinderance. He can’t predict whether or not Khoa will be on his side. He just does whatever he wants, and that certain doesn’t include prioritizing the safety of others.

Damian can understand him. They could bond over sword fighting training honestly. It’s the honor and honing your skills that’s relatable. But he is still aligned with his father along with his no killing rule, anytime Khoa makes exceptions he would probably find it dishonorable especially when he never makes promises.

Cass understands too. The fighting is all she knew, all she trained to be. But that is exactly why she doesn’t like Khoa. Cass grew away from training to be a human weapon because she found empathy for life. She’d probably pity him too, in a way.

Duke would find him really weird. He fights bad guys sure, but did he seriously name himself Ghostmaker??? His past history with Batman is already a red flag, but the fact that Khoa just likes fighting is just weird. Does he have any hobbies???

I’m not sure about Steph, I do vaguely know about Khoa’s son. If Steph knew about it she’d probably make that comparison to her dad again. Even without knowing that, she might find it unnerving for someone to fight for nothing. Fighting just to fight? No end goal? Why??? That’s fucking suspicious

Barbara thinks he’s useful, but his motives are too annoyingly difficult to handle. She can only hope to rely on Bruce to do whatever he can.

[lewis-winters]

the last major moment between lieb and guarnere was that moment in the troop ship, when they got into an altercation over bill's antisemitic remarks. it was clearly a one-off thing bc we never see them fight or bitch at each other again in the series, but it wasn't properly resolved on screen, either. we never got an apology, or a moment between these two characters that cements their reconciliation.

it's my personal headcanon that bill did apologize, but lieb either brushed it off or accepted it, but never bothered to reconnect. not that he's obligated to, since i don't think bill was ever part of lieb's circle of friends to begin with. but i digress.

bill apologized, lieb brushed it off, and that was the state in which they existed for a time. until, of course, bill got hit, was sent home.

and left babe behind.

and idk, but maybe lieb felt a bit guilty. felt a bit untethered. he and bill don't see eye-to-eye, but lieb knows what a good sergeant he was, that he worked to make sure the men under him were looked after. he was an asshole with a big mouth, sure, but lieb can see the effort. and I guess he felt a little bad that he never got to know him.

so, when chuck began to take babe under his wing, lieb did to. of course, he did it because babe himself certainly clicks with him, and they have an understanding between them that makes forging a friendship easier, but it's my personal headcanon that the reason why lieb took babe in as a friend, especially after breaking point, was because he wanted to look after him the way bill looked after everyone. lieb's own little way of accepting his apology and reconnecting with him. maybe a little too late, of course, but it's something.

[sardinesandhumbugs]

what (if anything) would you change about the musical, if you could?

what do you mean, the musical is perfect

a) Give Badger back his "it's been a long time since anyone's said that to me" line from the finale. He deserves it.

b) I saw an am-dram production of witw, using the same script/book as the west end, and they gave Lesser Weasel an actual character arc where he (or she, in that production) visibly grew to resent Chief Weasel always ignoring and belittling them, to the point that Lesser actually switched sides in the finale battle, and gave the key to Portia's cage to Toad. I think that's just neat.

c) There's probably other things I would change, but that's all my brain can manage right now.

In terms of "things I wouldn't add to the official musical because it would probably mess up the flow of the story, but I wish we had an extended version/deleted scene option for": put Wayfarers All in, and properly this time.

(The uk tour heavily referenced it, and even tied Ratty's character arc to the idea of him wanting to travel, but never reached a peak with the actual Wayfarers All scene, which left it feeling... somewhat like a loose end. imho the west end made the right decision with swapping Ratty's plotline to his and Toad's estranged friendship.)

I'd probably place Wayfarers All in the third scene of Act 2, just after To Be a Woman. AKA: replacing this scene:

(Don't worry, A Place To Come Back To still happens in this scenario)

I'd keep Ratty's anger at Toad's situation and use it to rationalise his sudden interest in travelling – ie: Toad is still in prison, Toad Hall is still overtaken by Wild Wooders, and Portia is still missing (possibly dead), so the idea of getting away from it all is pretty tempting.

(I mean, it's shifting the original scene's context, but if the 1996 movie can put in a subplot about a dog food factory, I can twist the character motivations a little.)

And in walks the Seafaring Rat.

(In terms of doubling-up roles, Adrian suggested the Chief Weasel/Neil McDermott to play the Seafaring Rat, which would work pretty well, so long as it was clear it was a different character, and not some secret Wild Wooder plan, a la Jan Needle's Wild Wood.)

I'd throw in a song for the Seafaring Rat (perhaps something with a bit of a sea shanty vibe? idk music genre isn't my forte), and send Ratty off to heed the southward call and all that jazz, only to encounter Mole. Mole realises something is amiss and tries to talk Ratty out of this sudden, ooc plan, only to derail when he senses his home/Mole End and is torn between the call of home and wtf is going on with Ratty.

Mole's distress brings Ratty back to himself, and here the story would slide back into the canonical plot of the musical – and I'd like to think A Place To Come Back To would have an extra layer to it, now Mole is heralding the virtues of home after nearly losing Ratty to the high seas.

Additionally, I like the idea that Ratty might even understand Toad a little better now – since impulsive ideas and changeability are what he's berated Toad for, but he nearly left his beloved riverbank on a whim.

(That said, I don't think he ever admits to Toad what happened. He'd never hear the end of it.)

[unjest]

MORE AUDIOBOOK THOUGHTS:

The Magicians: ok. you KNOW im a big fan of this book. but man. the narration was kinda dull? like it was fine for a shift but i wasnt all that interested. got through like half before dropping it (specifically i got right up to the end of the breakbills south. THAT part was fun just because of myakovsky but it wasnt enough to make me want to continue.)

Murderbot Diaries books 1+2: Honestly, im not typically a huuuuge fan of Kevin R Free as an audiobook narrator most of the time, but honestly? He pulls off this series really well. Most of what i DONT like about his reading actually work here. It also helps that the murderbot diaries are just REALLY good.

The Raven Cycle books 1-4: HOLLLY FUCKING SHIT. MAN. i grabbed the raven boys on a whim because i had the 3rd murderbot diaries book on hold, and i remember liking it when i was younger. and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. these were the best fucking audiobooks ive gone through so far. Will Patton is fucking PHENOMENAL. Not ONLY are all the character voices distinct and clear, but the fucking NARRATION has a different tone depending on the POV character (to the point where i could IMMEDIATELY tell which POV it was based entirely on the voice), and he ALSO pulls off characters changing accents/tones of voice (which happens pretty often and is relevanr for character development and occasionally plot). Story itself was also even better than I remembered. This is now one of my favorite book series of all time without exaggerating. I already want to go back and listen to these again. Thats how good it was. If my talking here convinces you to listen to any of these, make it the raven cycle. Its really fucking good

The Dreamer Trilogy book 1 + half of book 2: Also narrated by Will Patton (sequel series to the raven cycle), so still has fucking PHENOMENAL voices and narration and all that. I want to like the dreamer trilogy sooo bad but i just cannot fucking STAND Bryde. Ill probably finish the trilogy i just need a break for a while. This is, after all, the longest ive stuck to a single series without anything in between. Call down the hawk was REALLY good, which i think is partially because Bryde doesnt become a major character until Mister Impossible lol

The house in the cerulean sea: It was.... alright. Narration was a bit weird at points (ie a few moments where i was thrown off because the inflection just didnt fit the context) but it was overall passable. Distinctive character voices, which was always a plus. Story itself was fine- some points were trying a bit too hard to be funny, but it wasnt too insufferable once i got used to the vibe. Lots of therapy speak from small children felt kind of unnatural and got a bit annoying at points, but i think the way it was read managed to at least somewhat pull it off, especially since all the kids had funny voices (REALLY hard to take all the emotional stuff seriously because of that, which was a good thing.) Magic system was kinda weird? But eh, it was fine. Cute story.

In the lives of puppets: DOGSHIT. did not make it past chapter 1. Prologue was mildly interesting, but the tone was immediately brought out back and given the ol yeller trilogy. Made me realize that T J Klune (same author of house in the cerulean sea) only has 2 jokes: kid/creature/innocent making extreme threats of violence, and just the most unfunny sex jokes in existence. Same narrator as house in the cerulean sea, but i dont think any narrator couldve saved this one.

Dear Wendy: picked this one up after scrolling thru available books, synopsis seemed mildly interesting? Stopped almost immediately once realizing that this is way too gen z for me. Specifically i mean that its like very social media focused and i also couldnt get past the fact that its focsed on like. Instagram dating advice. Like the whole pitch for this book is that the main characters are both aroace thats why i grabbed it in the first place. i dont give a shit about instagram drama. idk for all i know this book is perfectly fine it just managed to immediately lose my interest lol

Murderbot book 3: FINALLY OFF HOLD THANK FUCK. A FRESH WATER POND RECOVERED IN MY MAYONAISE LAKE OASIS

my thoughts on the stuff ive listened to during work; note that im not basing my reviews on how good the actual book is, its based on how my personal experience was to listen to the audiobook while working in the lab

Animorphs books 1-3: i read this series as a kid but only once, so i was familiar with the story enough to not get distracted but i had forgotten enough of the details to be kept engaged. Voice acting was fine, tolerable to listen to, character voices distinct enough to differentiate without being annoying (albiet with at least one exception). Biggest issue is length- since my shifts are 8 hours, i got through the first 3 books in a single shift, and the specific version i was listening to was split up into a handful of short parts each book so i kept having to switch to the next video, which was way too much of a momentum-stopper (and work interruption) to stick with this series specifically.

The Witcher books 1+2: eh. was fine enough. once again this was something i was familiar enough with to follow without having to worry too much about missing details, while also being somewhat entertaining. i think i liked it a lot better to read than to listen to. voice acting was fine. biggest issue was that i had finally gotten used to the narrator pronouncing dandelion as dan-DIL-leon for the first book but in the second book he switched to pronouncing it as DAN-dee-lion and i had to stop partway through because of it

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: i remember enjoying reading it a lot more than listening. Ill be the first to admit that im kind of picky about audiobook narration and this one just didnt hit right, but was overall a good experience. Voice acting was fine, and the actual story was very entertaining as expected. Perfectly acceptable.

Discworld books 1-2: extremely good listens. Voice acting was great, character voices were fun and fit the characters really well, only skirted the line of being annoying. fantastic story, but not too complicated or unfamiliar, so i could still follow and be entertained while still focusing on work. Will probably continue the series at some point, but giving myself a buffer period before i start up again to avoid series burnout

Malevolent parts 41-44 (catching up with the podcast lol): man. theres just something about listening to a guy getting gutted and filled with maggots while working in the lab of a hospital. like broooo you are going to get sepsis!!! Very good listen, as expected, just kinda funny trying to keep a straight face while talking to coworkers and simultaneously listening to arthur's no good very bad day

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell: probably the best one so far for what im using these for. The length meant i was able to spend like 4 whole shifts on the one audiobook. Footnotes were incorporated fantastically, narrator and voice acting was phenomenal, and its also pretty much my favorite book of all time. Ive read this SEVERAL times, but because of how fucking huge this thing is theres a lot of details i forgot about or misremembered. Only issue is that it was split up into several audio tracks, so i had to switch to the next one a few times per shift. They were each around 2 hours long however, so it wasnt too inconvenient. Also at one point i fucked up and accidentally skipped like 8 whole hours without realizing until after an hour in where they referenced an event i KNEW i hadnt gotten to yet lol

Catch-22: man they really went all fucking OUT on the voice acting here. All characters are EXTREMELY distinct, so im very easily able to tell who's talking even without speaking tags. One of my pet peeves in audiobooks is when the narrator whisper-yells when a character is meant to be screaming. That does not happen here. Narrator fucking COMMITS. Yelling, sobbing, laughing, all of it. Fucking fantastic. Phenomenal as an audiobook, i think i mightve even enjoyed it even better than actually reading it.

Slaughterhouse-five: man. this one is ALSO an audiobook that is fucking PHENOMENAL. biggest problem is that i got WAYYY too into it. I really needed to just sit down and soak it in, which was not very condusive to a workplace environment. I now have a self-imposed limit where im not going to be listening to any more vonnegut books from now on because i KNOW itll have a similar affect

His majesty's dragon: this one couldve been good, but the recording i found was not. The guy reading it did a big spiel at the beginning of each chapter and kept adding unneeded commentary like it was a middle school read along. Im going to be getting a library card today so i can use libby, so i might come back to this once i get access to an actual official audiobook lol

murder on the orient express: nope. barely lasted three minutes into this one

percy jackson and the lightning thief: see this is an example of something ive actually read too many times as a kid so i know the book too well for an audiobook to be entertaining. Dropped it after less than a chapter.

the kane chronicles: had potential, i remember liking the story a lot as a kid but i hadnt read it nearly as much as the pjo series, and i think it wouldve been at least vaguely entertaining. However, half the book has one of the narrator sdoing a really bad british accent for his sister's voicelines and i just couldnt do it. i didnt have the strength. Dropped after maybe 4 chapters.

Camp Damascus: the only audiobook of the lot that i actually bought, and the first one i got through that i hadnt read the physical book before. Interesting story, ok voice acting. Solid choice to listen to. Not quite what i was expecting, but pretty good story! Had some EXTREMELY gnarly descriptions of body horror thrown in at like. two points of the story maybe. Didnt really affect me personally but kinda threw me off in a 'this feels like a different story entirely' sort of way. Dont have much else to say here since these reviews are more talking about my experience with these as audiobooks specifically, and i havent read the book itself to be able to compare this one.

[meggannn]

shepard/garrus?

oh boy, sorry for the late response! I always end up posting these things and then going to read/take a nap/play a game or something. anyway writing this up took two hours, i hope it is even slightly interesting to read. cut because this is looooooong

What made you ship it?

I think I was interested in this ship before I even played ME. I was just like “I know Shepard is a character and an alien named Garrus is a character, and people draw porn of them together.” because I think it’s reasonable to say it’s one of, if not the most, popular ship in the fandom, or at least in ME’s tumblr fandom? and the way people talked about it, I knew their tropes were #banter, #battle couple, #partnerships, and... and as we’ve learned from royai, I am a bit weak to those tropes (assuming I like both of the characters). the way people talked about them also from a “best friends” angle—which is sort of forced in-game in a way that seems strange to me now—was also a plus in its favor at the time. (if they get together, I do see their friendship/companionship, in whatever form, in some ways integral to their romance—unless you’re playing full far-right renegade who’s like a xenophobe and hate-fucking Garrus, I guess?—but Bioware also kind of shoehorned Garrus into that best-friend role and that’s a topic for another day.)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

(my friend will hit me if I say “partnerships” again) I’m gonna talk about the way I play my Shepard now, because so much is dependent on the unique Shepard. for Lydia’s journey over the series, I see a large part of her journey as basically a study of her (often self-inflicted) loneliness. and she never entirely breaks her habits of self-isolation, but the events of the series force her to be vulnerable in a way she would prefer not to be in front of a crew, or, y’know, ever. Garrus becomes an integral part of that story to help her break her out of these bad habits (all of the crew does, particularly also Ashley for my Shep), but to my eyes, the story of “Shepard and Garrus’s relationship” is also one of mutual respect, burden-sharing, and sanity and morality checks.

I don’t think of their “mentor” relationship in ME1 very often mostly because I don’t think it was done particularly well, but for all its faults, I do like how naturally the jump from “subordinate” in ME1 to “ally” in ME2 felt; once you meet Garrus on Omega you feel more on the same footing as two friends greeting each other because you’ve both recently been through trauma and the sight of a friendly face in a station full of hostiles is so unexpectedly welcome that it lets them both hope things will be okay for a minute. starting from that moment, Garrus becomes one of the few people who can see “under” her mask, I guess: partly because he’s one of the few combatants from the SR-1 who knows Shepard well and sees who she is both on the field and onboard the SR-2, with the ability to compare both to the times of “before you died”; partly because he has trauma response training and recognizes it in others even if he doesn’t in himself; partly because his loyal personality makes him sensitive to wonder how she’s dealing with being resurrected; and also partly because they’ve both gone through similar things. namely, getting your squad killed and blaming yourself for it, and it possibly being your fault (BioWare is inconsistent on what Shepard’s role was on Akuze, but in ME1 she has the chance to reply that she was responsible for getting them out safely, and failed).

necessity forces Shepard to adapt to things like being effectively forced to work for terrorists; being isolated from her support system; being resurrected and feeling like a stranger in her own body; later, getting decommissioned for making an incredibly difficult call to save the galaxy; watching your homeworld burn; being forced into a political role negotiating high stakes you don’t know how to play; being told you’re the spearhead of a galactic war; doing all of this without a full crew complement; the list goes on. those are all, on their own, incredibly isolating, traumatic experiences, and my Shepard’s not emotionally sane at the best of times. (emotionally stable, perhaps, only in the most literal of terms, at least on the surface. she’s like a rock when shit hits the fan. emotionally sane, no, for that reason and more.)

the tables have turned, and Garrus ends up becoming a large part of helping her regain agency in most if not all of those things: in ME2 he was a former crew member she trusted, and he was eager to work for her and be distracted from his failures on Omega. over in the battery, he is himself recovering from a major injury (like Shepard) and going through the aftermath of a bloodbath he feels responsible for (like Shepard), working on a crew that holds him at arm’s length, that he also... arguably... didn’t have much choice in joining (like Shepard—I’m assuming he wasn’t held hostage and joined voluntarily after waking up, but lbr this is unconfirmed). their reasons are different and varied, but they don’t realize until much later that they have found each other at the most opportune time, providing a sense of stability for each other, and also, frankly, sanity and morality checks.

in ME3, he steps into this role more fully because he’s become more disciplined, is doing work firmly in his wheelhouse, and paired up against Shepard struggling with their positions somewhat reversed from ME1: him more confident and her now completely out of her element, floundering with her place on a galactic scale. without Garrus—and Chakwas, and Joker, and Tali, and later the loyalty of the entire SR-2—the story of ME would be a tragedy, and it would end shortly in ME2; it’d be the story of how my Shepard slowly went insane being forced to fight boogeymen under a terrorist banner. Garrus isn’t, like, the keeper of her sanity, but their ability to check each other, and see themselves in the eyes of each other, provides stability and occasionally a bit of a wake-up call to both of them. when they’re both vulnerable, they both feel most seen, and most understood, by an alien that listens.

one angle of this ship that highly interests me at the moment, along with the above, is that while it’s not illegal for them to be together, it’s still... a really bad fucking idea lmao. (I could make the argument that it’s a bad idea for Shepard to be in any relationship with their crew but I think there are a few ships—Garrus, Tali, any Alliance crew at all—that realistically would be huge political clusterfucks.) so overcoming personal insecurity and fear of the unknown to acknowledge interest in each other, and the desire to become an item, getting roadblocked by a reality wake-up call with the fact that 1) she’s his boss, 2) Garrus comes from a society where station matters, like, sort of a lot and it even determines your job and how much legal power you have, 3) the potential political blowback (which would be ENORMOUS because lbr the hierarchy may not care about what turians do in off-hours but they WOULD care about the superior/subordinate thing, the human thing, the fact that they’re doing this while a war is going on. basically one of their best agents is on the Normandy to negotiate their interests and they’re basically at the whims of their relationship the whole time)... it’s a lot! all of that sort of makes it tragic, but I’m curious to see how they’d overcome it.

anyway, all of that is where I’m coming from when I think or write about this ship, but there’s a lot more I’m not mentioning here. there are a lot of juxtapositions that in my head that I’ve either added or extrapolated from canon that also interest me about this pairing. Garrus is a former cop, as is his father; Lydia is a poor kid who used to be in a gang out of necessity. Garrus is a turian with often traditionalist thinking; Shepard is a human who has much less sociopolitical power than him, even if she is his superior on the Normandy. both of them are roughly as old as the First Contact War, when their people were at each other’s throats not thirty years ago. Garrus idolizes Spectrehood while Lydia hates it, feeling it was forced on her. they can’t eat the same food. and yet despite all of that, and the fact that they need translators to communicate, they manage to understand each other when a lot of the world around them doesn’t.

god this is not even the full list of it. anyway I could go on but I’ll stop there lol.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

oh jesus, so much. I’m a grouchy and picky shipper, be warned.

pining can always make my ships more interesting, and imo it’s a consistent part of any ship of Shepard’s, considering it’s wildly inappropriate and unprofessional for her to be fucking any subordinate, so I think more consideration could be given to shakarian in the “we shouldn’t be having a thing and oh also you’re an alien and I’m kind of scared of both your government and your body” angle! I hope to explore that a bit with a fic I’m writing (if I ever finish it, god).

I hate the flavor of fandom!shakarian where Shepard romanced Kaidan in ME1 then felt “betrayed” when he’s confused and hurt on Horizon, so she gets with Garrus as like... revenge? idk. and then Garrus usually develops this bias against Kaidan as a sort of author mouthpiece (which is inconsistent with his characterization cause Garrus is nothing but pleased to have Kaidan back on the SR-2 in ME3!) and takes up the anti-Kaidan crusade cause K ~questioned the commander~ (since when does Garrus fall over himself defending a superior from criticism?) like, idk. I think Garrus can be sensitive to the fact that that reuniting must’ve been painful for Shepard, but also be aware that it was also really painful for Kaidan because all of Kaidan’s complicated feelings about Shepard’s resurrection were, realistically, things Garrus should’ve felt too! this trope is very popular but just feels like manufactured drama for drama’s sake, idk, I’m also not big on love triangles so. I would much rather people just rescue Ashley on Virmire and avoid the whole thing rather than have previously-romanced Kaidan around in ME3 for the sole purpose of forcing him to watch Shepard/Garrus being happy together tbh.

I think full goody-goody paragon Shepard is too preachy to make a good partner for Garrus and full shoot-anyone-in-my-way renegade Shepard encourages and emboldens his worst tendencies (and Castis Vakarian is right to disapprove of them). most people end up playing some combination of both, or if they do settle in one camp or the other, usually there is some sense of realism where Shepard doesn’t play nice/naive or play mean all the time, so it’s rare I see either of those kinds of extreme Shepards depicted, but in general if there is a Shepard that is so far in one direction it seems illogical to me that they ever stay together.

I think wanting a mShep romance for Garrus is a pretty welcome idea in fandom, but adding onto that, I think Garrus should’ve been romanceable in ME3 for players who changed their minds on other romances or want to play slow-burn romances! we had it for Kaidan—and should’ve had it for Ash—so (pounds fist on desk) Garrus too imo!

I hate the canon get-together because Shepard walking into the battery and asking “do you want to fuck” feels very tailored to the players who want to romance Garrus, not to who Commander Shepard is, imo. it lacked all of the subtlety and depth of some other romances—until the scene of Garrus coming to her cabin with a wine bottle, at least, cause I do like that scene, but anyway, I dislike the actual get-together.

just in general, I’m a stick in the mud, so my favorite iteration of this ship is where Shepard is resolutely professional, and the challenge of it becomes him getting her to open up, not the other way around. like, I think on some level every iteration of Shepard is a bit of a lunatic/eccentric, because you have to be to do the things they do, but I like to see their flirting with less of her calling him “big guy” (not sure where that came from, is that in canon? I must’ve missed it, but personally I don’t like it) and more of Garrus making wisecracks in the canteen while he’s talking to Joker, but he’s looking at her out of the corner of his eyes and he really said his joke with the aim of making her laugh, and as she’s reading her datapad she hears him, and even when she wants to chuckle she stops himself and just smirks cause she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of a laugh, but he sees her lips twitch and feels his heart flutter. that. I want more of that.

oh lastly, I hate “Shepard takes Vakarian clan markings” in any iteration. there is no canon relation to turians being poc—in fact I’d argue they have sociopolitical privilege real-world bipoc do not—but the concept of social face markings, face tattoos, etc., is rooted in non-white cultures and with the fact that 1) turians had a literal civil war over the territories those markings represent, 2) we don’t even know if marriage is how markings are shared or if non-turians are ever invited to wear them in the first place, 3) most of the art of this trend, lbr, is of mostly white Shepards in wedding dresses and blue face paint... all that combined just makes me frown and scroll faster every time I see it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bipoc Shepard with Vakarian face markings in fic/art, and that to me is very telling (not because they should have them, but because bipoc fans who make bipoc Shepards usually recognize when a racially-coded trope is uhhhhh not so great to appropriate for someone not of that group).

[octoberobserver]

Hello again😉

So, my new idea is: living together but at Keefe's flat. Idk, Kelvin's house is invaded by rats or has problems with water/light whatever and he needs a place to stay.

Keefe obv is the hero of the day and offers his humble place to stay.

And it's minuscule, compared to kelvin's. And they are always touching, being millimetres apart and sleeping to closely if not together. Kelvin can see and hear Keefe taking a shower and he looks after he is done bc Keefe's hair is still wet and dropping water on his tan skin and Kelvin wants to go where they go.

Another idea but I don't know where it could be go is reverse time! Kelvin, ex Christian, decides to try everything he was always too scared to do and goes to the Satanist club (you can see i love this location). Here he meets Keefe, a sweet albeit a bit lost satanist/metalhead/what he was before Kelvin and the magic happens. It could be darker, with Keefe being not so sweet and naive and corrupting Kelvin piece after piece and it would be hot and smut as fuck. Obv no violence a part from consensual (or is it?) bdsm and similar. Not for everyone but interesting.

Other darker but hilarious idea: Keefe is a sex worker. He works on the streets and it's very dangerous and not the best for his health. You can put here all the violent and horrible clients you want. A night he is more down on his luck than usual and while sporting a black eye he meets Kelvin. Kelvin doesn't really want to pay for sex (he is celibate! The son of the major congregation's boss!) But he can't leave Keefe/he doesn't really understand that he is a sex worker and brings him to his home. Accidental sugar baby acquisition.

It's funnier if Kelvin has no clue and he is very oblivious to every effort of Keefe, who is totally in love with this man who just likes him so much as a person and is so generous without wanting anything bc Kelvin loves buying him everythjng). Obv they fall in love and pining and ecc. Maybe another spike of angst towards the end when Kelvin understands Keefe is a sw and thinks he loves his money and Keefe thinks Kelvin doesn't want him anymore bc he is damaged goods but everything ends fine.

Another very silly idea is this: first meeting era, Kelvin wants to convert Keefe, who is convinced this is a date. They clarify and become friends ecc. Then Kelvin wants to date Keefe but he thinks he is still converting him/doing church things. Even more bc Kelvin brings him only to church events as dates and quotes the song of salomon but he did these things even before so Keefe is justified to be so blind.

Other idea: bj (he is the best) and Kelvin's sister decide to have a wedding ceremony with everyone, finally. They invite Kelvin and Keefe as a couple. At the beginning they suppose that being such bffs deserves to have a shared invite but more they stay at this wedding more talking about being the next ones, anniversaries and buying home together and adopting they have to do and listen to. Everyone, even Kelvin's family, thinks they are together and it's embarrassing but Kelvin has thought about sharing all these life steps with Keefe before.

Ok, I have to stop, too many ideas!

I would love to finish many many series but if I could begin a new one, I think I would like to watch the knick or a very English scandal. But often I watch things bc I saw a bit before and thought it was cool so probably this doesn't help at all😅 I really follow too much my whims😣

I really like historical dramas and funny shows, better if they are secretly heart breaking.

Which is your fave character in Ted Lasso? Which was your first fandom/the first fandom you wrote for?

💫

Hi 💫Anon!

So sorry for the late reply. Oh wow I love these ideas 😍 I have always wondered what Keefe's place looks like. I'm still not 100% sure if he's moved in with Kelvin permanently? Though, it seems like he is after s2's events? Still, if he isn't, I would love to see his apartment in the future. And your idea is *chef's kiss*. I do love the notion of Kelvin being shown his privilege, and I know the show would do it in a hilarious way.

I adore the 'OMG they were roommates' trope so seeing them just living their shared lives together (even more), in whatever form, would be amazing on screen, tbh. And YES! Kelvin being subjected to the sheer hotness of his best friend and in such close proximity is just 🔥🔥🔥

Oooh that AU is very intriguing too. Almost a Pretty Woman homage with a more dangerous twist.

I want a first-meeting scene so bad in the show! I love your idea here, the misunderstandings are so in character for them both. And the potential for mutual pining is off the charts. I wanna know how these two loveable weirdos came to be and I hope we get to see that. This show loves flashbacks so fingers crossed!

BJ is the best! I was so sad we didn't get to see his and Judy's wedding on-screen so would really like to see this. BJ's baptism was so funny, I can only imagine what a wedding ceremony would be like lol. And yes, definitely, Kelvin getting all of the elbow-to-the-ribs nudges and winks about how "it'll be you next," and "when are you gonna put a ring on it" etc. So. GOOD! And poor Keefe is all confused and pining and not realising that Kelvin wants all of those things and more.

Oh, you've very good taste in shows! If you're a fan of historical shows and funny ones, I recommend Our Flag Means Death. It's about real-life pirates, is also an HBO show, and has a lot of mutual pining between friends. It's also funny and pretty heartwarming, considering the plot lol.

Oooooh that is a tough question! I love loads of people on Ted Lasso for all different reasons. I adore Rebecca and Keeley's friendship, and the relationship between Rebecca and Ted too. But I think my favourite character (by a small margin coz I really love pretty much everyone) is Roy. He's just so grumpy but also sweet. And it's a not-so-secret secret that he's based on a real-life footballer Roy (*cough* Keane *cough*) known for being particularly grouchy and that just really amuses me 😂😂

My very first fandom that I wrote for, if I remember correctly, (it was a VERY long time ago,) I think was Harry Potter? I was around 12 or so, so it was properly back in the day haha. It was a Ron/Hermione fic, I think? Harry Potter was pretty much the first fandom that I had an online presence with anyway.

What about you? What was your first fandom? What is a popular fandom you never got into?

My fic is almost done! Hoping to post it very soon. Hope you're well 😊😊

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.  Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her.