#it's jsut a fun fic things I made
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Xernalia (Biologist Alien): How can the human body be so inefficient. I mean, your organs aren't even completely comprised of cells! Sometimes there's just randomly a bunch of stuff in place of them!
Thomas (not biologist himself, but very nerdy human): are you talking about the fibrine stuff?
Xernalia: Yeah! I don't understand why they're even there! When I run em' through, they don't form, like at all! There wasn't a little bit of them!
Thomas: Xernalia, that's where I've healed from unnoticeable diseases. How did you even discover them?
Xernalia: Well, first off there was a big one right at {{eldretch word}}. But honestly, why hasn't your body properly healed from that??? It really should've by now.
Thomas: Well... from my understand the human body doesn't heal from those kinds of wounds.
Xernalia: Why doesn't it? It reduces the efficiency. Slightly, yes but those are like. The main things you don't want to reduce the efficiency of. You have them for your muscles, why not the most important parts of the body???
Thomas: I honestly could not tell you.
Xernalia(under her breath): I swear the human body is impossible.
Thomas: And you're the one that decided to make it ungodly sexy!
Xernalia: And I will forever regret and enjoy that decision.
#human are space orcs#xernaliaposting#humans are confusing#humans are space oddities#alien#aliens#science#science fiction#scifi#writing#short story#short fiction#this isn't like#going to make it into#insects gods and mortals#it's jsut a fun fic things I made
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Any weather that isn't super hot is rather romantic to me
Like it may be heavily pouring but all I want to do is take you outside and absorb the rain like a cactus
Texas for the sake of my now single life make every day not hot so I can think about my otps
:) thank you
#kissing your beloved on a seat mext to a rainy window sounds lovely#....you could also make out with them too for added...ness..idk making out and having the sound of rain sounds nice#not for me obviously (kissing someone on the lips sounds rather gross and bad tasting) but like...for ao3 fics it would be good#deep down i am nothing if not a sappy romantic#writing things#romance prompts#idk if you like it im sure this could be a prompt#its one in my head for my otp...#mhhh thinking of a fic and nkt writing it because you dont know how to write down the movie your head made as a story#yknow i havekt really had anything to like...ship that wasnt canon in months and i love this feeling#ever since metal family i havent shipped anything that wasnt canon#(fun fact.when i was posting metal family k wasnt even hyperfixated on it.i was just posting it because people liked it and i have a sad#need to people please so people like me because i have few friends and attachment issues....haha anyways)#but like...i miss this feeling of love this kind of thing brings#(also jsut got out of a 5 year relationship...not much love feeling for me so maybe im overreacting)#...im rambling#rain>>>>
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you fuckers are lucky i cant draw as well as id like actually bc otherwise id be posting the weirdest fucking bellumbeck art known to man
#i think the ph fandom as a whole needs to get weirder abt linebeck and bellum. i sure am doing my part (doing my part entirely in my head)#'weirdest' idk if thats the right word but i should be finishing an essay so all of my vocab skillsa re being funneled into that rn#salty talks#sorry ive been losing my mind abt linebeck and bellum these past few days its fun#brother the ph art id do if art was my thing instead of writing. i have ideas but my hands are made for writing#so ill jsut write weird shit. but i cant get to the bellumbeck fic until i set the groundwork that is the fucking oshus-linebeck therapy fi#dw abt it my ph oneshots are half slice of life sea adventures with a hint of oh. huh. and half psychological linebeck escapades
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currently i'm really busy with writing for my thesis, which unfortunately leaves me with little creative juice... ive been engaging with other people's creations a lot more rather than writing for myself, but have some assorted thoughts on things ive enjoyed recently below, for anyone who is interested. feel free to send me asks about anything that's mentioned, but because of the above, might take me a bit to get back to u <3!
these aren't really x reader thoughts, just rambling! if you read this, thank u, i am giving you a kiss on your forehead/hug/fistbump/handshake/whatever words of affirmation you have been wanting to hear today. pick your favorite!
(Pokephilia mention) Pokémon Legends Z's announcement!! It'll be forever until it's released (which, as a true Pokémon fan, I'm very happy about BAHAHAH), but I'm so excited! Very curious how they are planning to implement, what seems to be, citybuilder elements... If Emmet shows up in this game, I'm going to be super delighted, but I honestly doubt it. Either way, it's made me think a bit more about the twins, and Poképhilia stuff in general as well! It's such a shame/pain the main tag is blocked... one day I will start and stick to my intention to write, like, porn about all the Pokémon, haha. A dream...
(cannibalism(????) monster eating??? mention. consensual!) Dungeon Meshi really was as much fun as everyone mentioned! Don't really see myself writing fic about it, except for a very specific idea I had... I like the thought of Laois 'obsessed with eating monsters' Touden got to meet a monster (AKA Reader) who is equally obsessed with the idea of being eaten!! Maybe a mermaid, or something like that? It's his one chance to eat a humanoid monster! Though the others probably won't believe him when they tell him that it was 100% consensual, and are judging him harshly LMAO
Welcome Home updated! Very happy about this. Though I don't connect them publically, I actually have written quite a bit of WH fic and my sfw sideblog for it used to have more followers than this one LMAOO. Maybe one day I'll write NSFW works for it, but I dunno if there's interest... Plus, I very much fall underneath people the creator would consider 'unwelcome' in their squeaky-clean fandom or whatever, but they have like a quarter million followers now, lol. Anyway, Wally is, as has been said many times before, the Most! He draws me in <3
And also, poor Eddie, lmao. It's very interesting to me, with the inclusion of the Narrator, that the characters seem to be forced to steer in a specific direction, if that makes sense? To upkeep a certain mask. I wonder if 'as above, so below' is a reference to that, in the sense that whatever is dictated by the stronger forces of narrative, is what shall occur 'below'-- In their world. Like, the animosity some of these puppets have for each other!!!!! Some of them are just straight up Not Friends, lmao.
I need to play more of it, but if anyone is reading this, go play I Was A Teenage Exocolonist. I expected it to be waaaay more popular, especially on Tumblr, but it's so underrated? The writing is wonderful, the characters are well-defined, and the art is breathtaking! Please take a look at the trigger warnings, cuz there are a few that are definitely applicable, but it's soooo good... If it has to be said, I romanced Dys first, lmao.
I am watching The Apothecary Diaries right now, just started today, and can I jsut say... I'm such a fan of all the women in this show!! I love the perspective it gives on court life a lot! Maomao definitely is pulling in all the men AND women, huh.... i appreciate that. Jinshi also 100% wants to get degraded by her, huh. Maomao is the sexywoman of this show.
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omg wag au is my favorite thing you’ve ever written are you having thoughts about it???!!! it’s genuinely my ideal fic like all the tropes and dynamics that i love r there, and norstappen is my fav it’s my happy place!!!! i love the idea of lando visiting max at a race and engaging in typical wag behavior bc i think he would think it’s fun and he does not hate women and respects WAGS (😠😠) so it wouldn’t be a demeaning vibe but just a very joyful vibe lmao, or max commenting on the quadrant promo posts w/lando being thirsty, or lando having to deal w the bulk of wedding planning bc max is always off working (even tho lando has his own work to do, i can see some possible angst/hurt abt the fact it’s assumed lando will do all the work and lando being stressed about the workload,, but also lando tryna be like it makes sense i have to do all this he’s off jetting about the globe and being super busy, but then also his reality of lando does have to work and wedding planning on top of that he’s stressed and upset but feels like he should be able to manage), i love this au it’s perfect i would love to hear about any thoughts or ideas or future fics or snippets you have for it!!
I absolutely love all these ideas and the love for this au! It's one I have wanted to go back to, along with Accidental Kidnapping, but just haven't had the chance to!
Lando absolutely loves being a WAG when he gets the chance. He loves supporting Max, and aside from that one now ex-wag that told him to get a side-piece for the lonliness, he gets along with a lot of the other partners on the grid. He would do like "day in the life as an F1 wag", and post a reel/tiktok of him getting ready for the track, giving Max good luck kisses or bringing him coffee/red bull, clips of him at the back of the garage watchign nervously during quali and then celebrating. He'd just give it 100% cause he knows Max gives 100% to any events Lando brings him to for Quadrant or gaming tournaments he is in, and he loves him so why wouldn't he be proud to be there?
He'd definitely get some negative comments because "you're shoving your life choices down our throats" or called "a distraction" but Lando ignores it. He just focuses on the friends he's made on the grid and hanging with the other partners like Lily and Alex or messing with Daniel cause Daniel easily became one of his favourite people after he started dating Max.
Max definitely comments quickly whenever Lando posts anything. Normally it's hearts but when Lando posts some more teasing pictures for Quadrant drops or merch, Max might say a little more. Or when Lando feels a little lonely and decides to take one of Max's cars or his boat (again) for a little joy ride, and Max can't help but laught at his antics because he loves Lando and knows this is his way of saying "come home soon dickhead" 😂
As for the wedding planning....Lando would get frustrated by the fact that after the engagement, everyone just assumes it's him doing all the planning because "well, Max has racing, and you're jsut at home most of the time". It's more the fact that people that ask seem to value his career and Quadrant as less than, like it's just a hobby and not something Lando has been tirelessly working on for years, that he doesn't spends hours every day planning content and streams, looking over merch drops and talking to people about profits and subscriber numbers and everything that comes with running a business.
Max does help. He does try pitch in with ideas, or dealing with booking things when he has time between races, because he knows its a lot and he can see Lando stressing, especially when their families seem to be also going with the idea that Lando is planning everything and are constantly messaging Lando about wedding ideas and venues and flowers and party favours or destination.
Seeing how stressed Lando is, Max would absolutely gently tell people to back off and then message Max F to see about Lando's schedule. He sneakily arranges time where he and Lando have a little over a week before they're needed for something, and whisks Lando away somewhere private where they can turn on DND and just relax and destress and where Lando can admitt it's a little overwhelming and that he feels bad bringing it to Max cause Max has a championship to win, but Max would just reassure him that he comes first. Racing is his career, and he loves it, but Lando is going to be his husband and the person he spends his life with and that will always come first to Max
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I wanted to comment on your post, as well as the reblog by @toxicanonymity but didn't want to get hated as a fan/reader/commenter of the fics by all of you lovely writers... But just to add, it's ALMOST as if... Joel Miller is *canonically* a contractor/construction/maintenance worker... 🥴🥴🥴 And no individual fanfic writer can claim to own that character/trope or publicly get mad when other people write similar things... 🤦🏻♀️
There seems to be so many attempts to create unnecessary "RULES" for fic writers AND readers recently... Where writers saying "We appreciate ANY interaction, likes or comments! Thanks for reading 😊" has somehow turned into "Wow, why bother liking or commenting if you're not going to reblog too. That gives us no exposure. 🙄" This has made me, as a LONG TIME fic reader - longer than some here have been alive, want to not read or interact even less. Because I'm not "doing it right". When I LOVE SO MANY stories/writers on here! We are literally all here because we love a fandom and want to have fun in our Delulu Lands. Like WTF? It all just seems very unnecessary, tacky, and disheartening. Just sayin. But I'm so glad you pointed that out 🖤
I just wanna start off by saying that I do not condone taking direct plot points, dynamics or direct dialogue, the post has gotten kind of out of control so I wanted to repeat that first
Ever since I made that post I have been hearing insane things about this discourse that I didn't even know existed. You cannot own tropes, characters or aus or literally porn tropes. And it saddens me to see writers with "less" followers get extremely worried they are going to be called out just because they are writing the same au. I tend to stay away from discourse and mind my own business but that is taking it a bit too far
Also sometimes you jsut get similar ideas. Months ago I had an idea with a selective mute reader x joel fic where she was a baker and it was set during the jackson era. Pretty specific right? NOPE, apparently someone already wrote that on ao3 for game joel and I haven't even heard of it but somehow we still managed to get a very similar idea
As for the reblog thing, I do think that if you like it you should reblog but of course, I am not entitled to anyone's reblogs. The only thing I do get really peeved about is people commenting "PART 2" and then not even reblogging because we put a lot of work into it and it just comes across very demanding.
Like I said stealing direct plot not okay, but writing for the same au is fine, its fanfic, every writer has their own personal touch and different ways of telling a story.
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been so busy i haven’t had a chance to sit down and write this but dybmn we are SOOO back. u know i was actually planning to hold off on reading it for a bit like i was gonna reread the rest of the parts and soak it all in and make it a whole thing and set time aside for it and everything cause that’s what i usually do but then when i saw that you posted it i rlly just couldn’t hold myself back LOLLL and i dove in immediately. it kind of didn’t hit me how much id missed dybmn couple until i started reading again LOL like i love their dynamic i love how they’re kind of like their own thing if that makes sense like i love all your works and i love the way you write them both in each one but like you can kinda tell dybmn is in its own universe if that makes sense like in all ur fics they have special little quirks in their dynamics that i think are lovely and it’s been a while since ive read dybmn and seeing them again i was like 🥹🥹 i missed yall LOLLL idk if that made any sense at all but anyway point being i missed them. also i love when you write in spencer’s pov so much. and this new plot was so unexpected but i adore it like i have no idea what the neighbor could have said/did to her and i like that cause it really does put u in spencer’s shoes instead of being sort of omnipresent like the author like whatttt i’m completely clueless too rn i wanna know what happened!!!! so excited for the next part also psa that nobody asked for but like i love how sweet he is to her too like even when it’s not sex i love soft dom spencer period like why is it getting so much hate recently like hello what is everyone’s damage (kidding joke don’t be mad i know everyone has their own preferences just saying though this is mine put the pitchforks down plz) anyway so cute as always also the part abt the fight seeming like months ago made me smile was that a play at how long it’s been irl that’s not shade at All btw it just made me giggle. ok the end yayyyy nereidprinc3ss i love u 🧸
Yesss yayyy that part was SUPPOSED to make u giggle hehehe I’m glad u caught that!!!!
I missed them too<3 I agree dybmn has a pretty distinct vibe from my other fanfiction which makes it rlly fun to write cause I can tap into something I can’t always w my one shots!!
I also love sweet Spencer all the time he’s sooooooooooo I jsut love him and I love YOU mwah!!!
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12, 16, 24!
thanks for the ask, anon! <3
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
oooo i feel like there's so many for this one. i went a bit into lightning era too. young molly weasley, peter pettigrew (this one is relative), pansy parkinson, percy weasley, rita skeeter (this one goes back and forth tbh). now explanations. molly, i just feel like there's a lot of potential for her character that isn't discussed!!! (which i will absolutely be adding into my fics). but like, think about how her parents must've treated her and her brothers for her to end up as the mother she did. also think about how fucking badass she would've been as a teenager! like yeah, she's a bamf in her 40s, but imagine her, single, childless, with not a care in the world just going around and doing whatever she pleases. peter!!! we all know how i feel about peter so i won't go too much into it but yeah. he's amazing (i will go into this more in another post if anybody wants to hear all my thoughts). pansyyy. ok so yes, she is an awful person in canon. but consider this... fanon pansy is amazing and she's my wife. i've also read some one shots where the reader is fr just like me :sob: and it makes me so happy. percyyyyyy. ok he is my baby. i love him so much. he just made a little mistake okay! he was outcasted by his family his whole life and so he wanted to do great things. yeah, he was a nerd, and his brothers relentlessly made fun of him for it, then he found the first person who appreciated (used) him (he didn't know, he was manipulated!) and he stuck by them. not to mention him trying to live up to the immense pressure he was under to live up to bill and charlie's legacy. but he realized he was wrong and he went back! and then his fucking brother died and he blamed himself for it. this man has been through enough!!! leave him alone!! (i can also write a whole thing about percy, i've hyperfixated on this man, i have a playlist and art of him and everything) MOVING ON i really jsut exposed myself there. rita! tbh i don't... like her? i just think she's interesting. i despise her in adulthood, but i think she was a really cool teenager. i would add bellatrix in here too but she gets enough love so she's an honorable mention. wow that was... long. i went on a bit too long about percy WHOOPS.
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
childhood friends to lovers (unless it's prongstail or my mlp jegulus characters). bartylus. straight james potter. straight mary macdonald. mean evan rosier or barty crouch jr. blackcest (i need to claw my eyes out every time i come across it). and so many more but this is all i can think of off the top of my head.
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
women in the marauders fandom. y'all please just stfu already and let me enjoy my marauders content in pEACE.
#pls not the one really long answer#one normal length#and one really short answer#whoops#anyway#percy weasley#the loml#hag's asks#ask game
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Okay! Twyla fic!
I’m gonna be blunt when I say I probably personally connected to this one the least. But that in no way means it’s a bad fic. I just personally don’t like Twyla from this generation. (Again. No offense to you) I love the fact she’s canonly autistic. But I wish it would have been for G1 Twyla. Or even G2 Twyla. G3 Twyla just feels like an extremely stereotypical childlike autistic character and I’m not huge on that. But I’m glad other people see themselves in her. I just personal don’t like how they made her. And how she talks. I feel like her voice makes her sound like she’s 4. And I’m very tired of autistic characters being infantalized. Also her bangs look so bad to me fiebdundjd ljke it’s giving edger cut vibes.
anyway sorry for that little rant. I just wanted you to know this has nothing to do with your writing and entirely to do with mh personal dislike of G3 Twyla In general. (Also for any Karen’s who may see this. Im also on the spectrum so don’t @ me)
Anywhoooo. Back to the fic! A short but sweet little thing!
Im gonna be hyper specific in the things I like so I can provide more of a well rounded rant.
I like how Twyla originally sees Toralei through the shadows. And not just randomly turning a corner and seeing her. Cause that would mean toralei could play it off. Also it gave Twyla more time to think.
I like that Twyla tried to think about it first. Instead of impulsively trying to step in an help. Other monsters would have most likely tried to step in and help while she was scared. Which would instinctively make Toralei not trust them. But she let toralei wait it out. Cause logically. If this is affecting her like this. She’s been through it before. It might be hard to watch but Twyla unconsciously figured it out that Toralei, while hard to see, has in fact gotten through this before. It would have been different if this was the first time of it happening. But Toralei specifically chose a secluded place. She’s been through it before.
I like how Twyla considers what she should do. And how selfless it is in the process. She herself is afraid of thunder. But clearly not as much as Toralei here.
When she steps out Toralei is immediately uneasy at first. But what Twyla does is probably so shocking. She doesn’t try and make fun of her. Or pity her. In fact she calls her strong. That’s jsut. Probably the most impactful thing she could have said. She gains Toraleis trust and tells her she wants to lighten her burden. To share her pain in a judgement free way she’s never gotten to do it before. So it’s cathartic to see Toralei break down in her arms the next few minutes.
It’s also so sweet to see they now carve out a bit of time every storm to be with each other. They’re connected in a way no other is. Even if they don’t hang out normally. The storms are theirs. Toralei is safe around Twyla. And Twyla gets company in a non stressful way. It’s short and simple. But the sweetness shines through
I just like Twyla 🧍
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moon moon moon moon moon moon moon moon i dont think u understand i have butterflies rn i am so warm and happy and smiley and and snd amd and this is easily one of my favorite fics of yours i absolutely adore summer so so very much and . ohggg you wrote them so lovely and i literally can't stop smiling oh !!!! thank you for this fic and even including some things i mentioned i mean i bet a lot of people mentioned those tropes but aaa i am happy anyhow <3
also here r some of my fav quotes because . because this is my favorite thing in the universe
- “Are you okay?”
Christ. Can’t a man fantasize about his best friend in peace?
THIS OS SO FUNYNYNYNY im obsessed w how u write mike i love him
- It’d be more terrifying than beautiful if Will weren’t here.
maybe i will scream . i will becaud eohmmy9fods
- Will moves, again, their hands bumping, and it feels like they’re holding the sun in the space between.
THIS MAD EME . PAUSE AND JUST . OGGGHGGGGHGHG . i can only smile and keyboard smash moon i am so sorry 🙏😭
- “Everything, I guess,” he answers, because it’s true. Will is, kind of, everything,
- “Me?” He questions, eyes wide, as if there could possibly be anyone else, as if Mike has ever even – looked at anyone else,
- and fingers sliding into Mike’s hair, and it’s everything, and Mike was right, he’s never doubting himself again, because Will is everything.
I WIQLCOJWJ JSCKSJHD . i apologize but these part smake me sosoos !!*!&!<!!! i cant even explain . i am so in love w this fic moon i cnantng. okay .
also jsut . the ending. mike thinking of missing him and will going hey im right here OHGGGGG !!!!!!!! moon you are brilliant and so lovely and . this fic made me so incredibly happy i can't do this . today felt rlly like the first day of summer and this fic made me feel a million times warmer and than kyou thank you ohhggggg this fic is absolutely everything yo me i am so warm and giddy rn !!!!!!! ur fics especially make me love will so much more if that's even possible bc he is one of my favorite characters in any media ecer and getting to read him written by u . well it might be an honor . it definitely is . it makes me so happy i cant even describe it . so thank you thank you<3 i hope u have a good night moon and i hope your essay goes okay <3 remember to rest and take care of urself !!!!!!!!!<3<3<3
donnie byersverse hello !!!!!!!!!! every day is a good day to see u in my inbox !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ohh im so happy u liked it oh my god ! i tried my absolute Best to make this fic something more like . fun and carefree or just something to cheer people up and im so glad it made u smile !!!! if i wasnt on a laptop id be spamming party hat emojis rn and yes !!!! i tried to include the things u specifically mentioned since u are always so kind to me in ur asks :D i thought uknow ! the least i could do !
LOL i love writing mike to be a little unhinged when hes in love with will <3 it just seems right
the keyboard smashing is so so real . expressing emotions no words can get across Thank u so much
NOO dont ever apologize i love seeing the parts u like the most !!!! especially then i can seee what i should do more often and what hits the hardest :D i am so happy u liked it so much omg
i am so honored to contribute to ur lovely summer day !! summer is such a fun season to write about and in, and im glad i got the very specific feeling of it across ! also ??? "ur fics especially make me love will so much more" finn what if i literally cry and di e and Explode into a million teeny tiny pieces . what then .
u are so entirely kind to me !!! im so happy u enjoyed reading it and that i did ur ideas justice :) and i love reading ur thoughts !! thank u so much !!!!!!!!
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Your birthday gift hasn't been mailed yet but at least I got this delivered on time! I don't stay up until 3:40am working on fics for jsut anyone!
I still remember when I was drafting LIC and talking things though and you hit me with something along the lines of "OH MY GOD DID THEY HOOK UP?!?!?" And now we get to know how it would have happened if they did! Haha!
more for you!
“So, um, my first time was with Rooster.” He doesn’t miss the way all his friends’ heads snap towards him. All eyes are on the two of you, and you’re pointedly looking anywhere but him. - okay first the way in this universe she’s still on that whole ‘rooster’ thing here!?! and second i can just picture her shoulders caving in and her refusing to make eye contact with anyone! and then the shift later!?! like miss girl no! your first time was with BRADLEY! also i need to know if either of them has romantic feelings for the other yet? like if they’ve been pining a bit?-- yes! I was really interested in what things would look like between them if that one thing was changed. Like the Spring Break happened, but as we know the sex didn't. So exploring how things would shake out after that, as something that was between friends, and how that would influence things between them was fun to play with! So the vibe if X happened here how would it impact Z later on, so them having sex played out in the way with how Bradley came to realize his feelings!
alexa note: so the idea of the title was kind of a play on words. In the sense that it was something that happened between friends, but also after they did it it made them a bit between friends and something more.
Rooster had been anxiously waiting to hear the story of your first official time, the one that was with someone who wasn’t him. He didn’t realize that you still considered him your first. - even years later he’s still so self deprecating about this!! ofc she’d consider you her first still!?! no one’s ever made her feel so safe and comfortable before-- he never knew what it meant to her! Like they are friends first, forever and always. But I think he was like "that was a practice round" where the first time it would actually count to her would be when she was ready for it to be romantic with someone. That pretty idiot.
You were supposed to be going on a first date tonight, but he’d talked you into canceling to hang out with him instead. - any time this is mentioned i always get so sad? like i got tears in my eyes. and it’s not necessarily mean on his part and he knows it selfish, but it still makes me sad? like bradley why do you think she does this so easily for you?-- if it makes you feel less sad, I genuinely think she'd rather hang out with him anyways! I think she wants to make up for those years a part, and love spending time with her bff. But there's a certain guilt that he has when he does it because he knows he'll usually get his way with those coweyes.
He didn’t just want the highlights with you, he wanted everything in between too. - i like how this kind of connects back to his feelings in like i can? he doesn’t want to be friend of the family, he wants everything-- he didn't know what he was missing and what they could mean to each other before she moved there and they got to be around one another all the time!
But it was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you to not talk about your sex lives with each other. - gee bradley i wonder why!?!-- it's like in the self care fic where she doesn't want to hear about how easy it is for him to get laid in those jorts 🤭
When you’d floated the idea by Bradley about visiting him at UVA for Spring Break during your weekly phone call, you’d been braced for the disappointment of him already having plans. It was his Senior year, it wouldn’t surprise you if he wanted to go out with a bang and make the most of it. - I KNEW IT I KNEW IT and i loved the reveal later-- and that he gave up a free week at the beach to hang out in his dorm on the campus that he's been at for 3.25 years with her?! sweetest boyyyyy!
His face had more distinct angles and less baby fat cushioned curves. Still a bit boyish, but he was well on his way to looking like a man. - she’s stronger than i am tbh. that tight uva shirt would’ve done me right in to say nothing about Him-- he is just so handsome!! and that shirt is from his sophomore year so you know its SNUGGGGGGGGGGGG (and soft). Also his amused face like "you've looked at me 4 times now but i guess i'll keep waiting" lol. And she's like "ok skipping over that cute guy because it would be weird to make eye contact with a stranger now where the fuck is bradley"
You start with the Rotunda and then the academic village, making a special pitstop at the Whispering Wall for you to tell it a secret. - it’s so pretty there and i really love all the thought he put into the entire visit for her! and don’t get me started on the wishing well! i love what you made of it over text!-- like there's the traditional tour and then there's his tour. He'd be so adamant about her making a wish, standing there with his arms crossed until she caved! But if she's going to play along to indulge him, of course she is using her wish on him 🥰
The backyard was all strung up with red and green Christmas lights - THE INFAMOUS RED AND GREEN LIGHTS AT THE FRAT!!! i love all the little nudges to the official like i can series (also him opening all her drinks is so cute)-- I still want the fingerprints of their og history there!! like it happened!! just not quite like that!
You knew UVA wasn’t where he’d originally wanted to be- where he thought he’d be- but you were happy that he seemed happy here. - i think so too! because he actually got to be a college kid? sure he was in nrotc and all that, but he still got to do silly thinks like streak across the lawn and be in a frat and throw up on his 21st birthday and he wouldn’t have gotten to do any of that at the naval academy (trust me lol). it’s nice bradley got to be a kid for a little longer-- i am with you!! like i love the idea that he got to have fun, got to be young and reckless and enjoy himself! He still ends up where he wants to be, and it takes longer, but he had to grow up so quick during those last 2 years in high school, that it makes me all kinds of soft thinking about him getting to just have some normalcy for once in his life.
But it felt like you were two kids at sleepaway camp getting away with mischief rather than two broke college students only pretending to get away with mischief. - don’t get me started on this. the whole sleepaway camp thing absolutely made me melt, it’s so sweet and just hammers home that they’re still ‘kids’ together? there’s just something so pure about it and i think that even carrie’s through to when she asks bradley to be her first?-- them laughing and staying up wayyyy too late and swapping their college stories. they they can be goofy and giddy and carefree! i love them just finding silly ways to have fun together.
alexa note: also here's the view from the hike!!
likeeeeeee??! worth the early wake up!!
You nod, looking anywhere else other than at him. - she does this a lot when she’s embarrassed/unsure 🤭 but like tbh he’d make me nervous too-- the eye contact would be too much! I think she knows bradley can read her like no one else and her vice versa, and when she's nervous or feeling out of her element knowing that about them makes her almost more self conscious when those moments happen.
He doesn’t even blink, “You can do better than me.” And he means it. Even if there was something more between the two of you, you’ve always been too good for him. And knowing him, he’d find a way to fuck it up. You’re the last person in the world he’d ever want to hurt. He’d let you down before, he doesn’t want to do it ever again. - oh bradley!! like i said earlier, he’s so self deprecating about this! ‘he’d let you down before’ 🥺 dark days bradley 🥺. but bradley, you know her! you know she wouldn’t ask unless it was for a specific reason, like it’s not because she has a crush on you (tbh tbd on that) or wants to make you fall in love with her! she wouldn’t ask unless she’d really thought about it-- bradley carriesss his guilt! i don't think he ever really TRULY forgives himself when he lets that sharp tongue of him get the best of him. Dark Days Bradley keeps him up a night. So he's always trying to make it up to her for the way he treated her during that period. he just is never able to see himself the way she sees him! he's the best!
The two of you were supposed to go to the movies, but that definitely wasn’t happening now. - okay but would they have seen? the gag worthy (affectionate) 9/11 deux ex machina of remember me? green zone for matt damon? or a sleeper screening of the february favorite shutter island?-- plsssss bradley was probably taking (read: dragging) her along with him for his 3rd viewing of Kick-Ass
“So you’d be my first and I’d be yours? Well, kind of.” You give him a little smile, it’s a shy but hopeful thing. - this is SO cute! and i like that it’s kind of still both their firsts? and maybe you could even make the case that it’s his first ‘official’ time too? idk like what he said at the beginning of thinking she would say who her first ‘official’ time is?-- I was so soft over the idea of it getting to be a bit of a do-over for him too. Like he's had plenty of sex, just not a ton that's mattered. It was also a bit of a wink to their first official time in the og series, where he was the first person to make her come from oral and she was the first person he didn't wear a condom with, they exchanged firsts in that one too.
Your hair smells like the travel sized shampoo he’d picked up for you, figuring you wouldn’t want to use his 2-in-1. - this and the bit with the sheets are so unbelievably sweet ☺️-- the hostess with the mostess!
You weren’t sure how you were ever going to thank him for this, but you had a lifetime of friendship with Bradley to figure it out. - got a little something more than friendship out of it now sweet girl!-- 🥰
…so you make a split-second decision to just take them off yourself under his covers. The idea of Bradley helping you to pull them off later seems like it would be too intimate based on the way the thought of it makes your cheeks heat up. // He’d never seen anything so strangely endearing as it was watching you shimmy your underwear off under the shield of his covers. - i loved how you handled this and how he finds it so endearing? but also i like that he’s just like standing there kind of frozen still?-- I think he really want hanging back because he wanted to be SURE! he was letting her lead and he'd meet her where she was at. but then also partly the man was in a daze because his best friend is getting naked and he can't help but get a little distracted. It's like yeah they're going to have sex but she's still a bit shy!
His broad shoulders are rounded with the muscles he’s gained from whatever exercises the NROTC has been putting him through. Your eyes dip down to his defined chest and over the ridges of his abs. You’ve seen him in swim trunks plenty of times, but seeing the way the muscles of his thick thighs fill out the black boxer briefs he was wearing was entirely new to you. - oh he’s so prettyyyyyy 🤭 the fact that she hasn’t seen him in about a year is also sooooo good! like it just further shows how much he’s changed in her eyes? very fitting! (also i love that he’s careful with their clothes, but still hesitant to pick up her underwear 🥺)-- like that those 21/22 years are FORMATIVE for guys! they start looking like MEN! And skype was still not the best, so like they weren't seeing each other in 4k. And the valencia filter on IG wasn't serving anyone the way we thought it did! lol! and swim trunks vs those clingy boxer briefs are very unfriendly territory! re: the clothes- he was absolutely trying to give himself a couple more moment to get his head on straight, preparing a game plan in his mind, lol
“Good, that’s good,” Bradley says, clearing his throat, “You’re supposed to feel a little ‘overwhelmed, but in a good way.’” You feel your lips pull up at his gentle teasing. - STOP THIS!! it’s so cute goddddddd-- he is so sweet with herrrrrrrrrrr
“Spread your legs a little wider for me,” he murmurs. You feel your face heat up. He’d just given you a direction, but it sounds almost indecent coming out of his mouth. - don’t - don’t do this to me already. i like that he later clocks that she likes this and being called a good girl/atta girl 🤭-- the girl likes a compliment! lololol. i had so many notes so trying to figure out whose POV got what was definitely a challenge, but getting to do little recaps worked out so well to get both their perspectives for those Moments™️
You gasp, breathily, “Oh, you’re hard.” The disbelief is evident in your voice, but it’s the look in your eyes that he doesn’t know what to make of, something like surprise. - i’m obsessed with this. like bradley thinks, she’s genuinely surprised like how could i do this to him? now it’s her turn to bffr-- lmaooooo, bless her! like logically she knows, but I don't think she'd considered that him getting her off would be hot to him. like, babe! but i loved that his response was to like assure her that he was very into it, that he didn't want it to feel one sided.
“Atta girl. There you go, find what feels good for you.” His voice sounds low even to his own ears, a throaty rumble. He feels you clench around his fingers and it sets his pulse racing. It’s a piece of information he tucks away for himself. - AHHHHHHH I LOVE IT SO MUCH! he’s so pleased with himself already and she def likes some praise thrown in there 🤭-- SO PLEASED! SO SMUG! He loveeeeesssssss when girls go after what they want in bed, and her kind of coming out of that shell and seeking out what she likes is something that's in the back of his head that he wants her comfortable doing with others in the future. but also, he gets to unlock some of those tidbits he's never known about her before.
“I want to make you feel good too,” you softly tell him, resting your chin on your shoulder. The tender way you’re looking at him makes his teeth ache. - oh 🥺☺️ her eyes are def wide and her face is absolutely so open and honest. but i think he’s scared to let her? like if it’s about her that’s okay in his book? but if she makes it about him, that’s uncharted territory? and not saying a hojo makes it about him? but like that wasn’t part of the original deal? if that makes sense?-- i think for her especially knowing that his experience wasn't necessarily prioritized during his own first time, like she wants to take care of him too. But that's exactly it!! Like him becoming the center of attention in that moment requires him to give up a little control too, it makes him vulnerable too. I think he is so use to being the giver too! Its her way of wanting to put his needs ahead of hers (not like the man isn't already totally worried about coming early, lol)
“You’re such a goddamn menace.” - oh i love it 🤭-- not her teasing him! he gave her too much good ammo, lol
You hold up your pinky to him, “I’ll tell you.” He wraps his own crooked one around yours and gives it a shake. - STOP!!! this is so summer camp!!! i love that’s it’s still so Them? (also i just remembered what the summer camp line reminded me of and it’s when gabriella makes the ‘like kindergarten’ comment in high school musical, it’s just so sweet)-- i think she knows how bradley can get in his head too, and it's her little way of trying to keep it light. Like it's big for her too, but also she doesn't to get in her own head by default!
Bradley doesn’t know what comes over him, but he drops a kiss to your shoulder as he reaches over you into the drawer of his nightstand to fish out what he needs. - ENOUGH!!! HE DOESNT KISS HER ONCE EXCEPT ON THE SHOULDER AND FOREHEAD AND CLAVICLE AND THEN HE KISSES HER FOR THE FIRST TIME LATER AT THE HARD DECK BYEEE--HE DOESNT KISS HER ONCE EXCEPT ON THE SHOULDER AND FOREHEAD AND CLAVICLE AND THEN HE KISSES HER FOR THE FIRST TIME LATER AT THE HARD DECKKKKKKKK! i liked it being another unspoken thing between them, that like kissing would make it cross a certain line (lmao not like he isn't about to be literally inside of her)! But like that chemistry is still there? like he can't hold back the affection of being with someone like that and then it builds to an almost moment!!
…you thought you were going to fly away from the intensity of it, but then he’d pulled you into the safety of his arms and you felt like you could fall apart because he’d be keeping the pieces of you together. - oh 🥺 that’s so pretty alexa!-- eep! and that she only leans into it, to that big feeling, because she feels so safe with him! it's just too much for me!
He huffs an incredulous laugh, and brushes back some hair from off your face, “You feel really fucking good, sweet-” - THE SWEET GIRL CUT OFF WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW BYE-- THE ALMOST OF IT ALL!!
He reaches down and hooks your leg over his hip. His hand slides up along the outside of your thigh and under your ass, tilting your hips up towards his even more. He’s so much deeper like this. - 22 year old bradley def has some moves haha-- i'll be for real, the ass grab took it out of me, he was so hot for that
He’d somehow managed to roll on his back and had taken you with him. He was literally just inside of you, but yet it feels like your leg draped over his thigh is somehow more intimate. - jesusfuckingchrist some bitches have all the luck for a first time-- it's so funny how the physical stuff she was more confident about, like there was a game plan and she understood it. But like with this casual intimacy, she gets more flustered because she doesn't know what's too much! like how long is it ok to cuddle? should she get out of bed now and go into hers? like she's an overthinker which leads us too....
“Come back here, kid,” Bradley mumbles, his eyes still closed, “I need to cuddle after I come, so I’m gonna need you to indulge me here for a moment.” He strokes a soothing hand down your back. And while he says it’s for him, you know he’s still trying to take care of you. - i love that he’s trying to make light of it with the specific words and tone, but goddddddddd it’s so intimate and sweet. like that’s love, whether romantic or not that’s love-- that he KNOWS and that he can TELL! i mean we know he is cuddly after sex, but he really was just wanting her to feel safe in the after of it all.
You’re still you. And Bradley is still Bradley. It was just… something between friends. - oh 🥺 why did this make me tear up-- i wanted to weave in a line that was representative of why I went with the title that i did!
Your stepdad wouldn’t be able to come, but he was planning on sending your mom with one of the cakes from his family’s bakery. You’d been tasked with finding out what flavor, carrot cake or peanut butter - okay well there’s a LOT here! first her mom always sending bradley a cake from a local bakery since she knows the value of a good family run business and second!!! THE SWEETEST DEVOTION CAKE BIT!!! the carrot cake and peanut butter!!! FULL CIRCLE THIS FAMILY LOVES CAKE AND IT’S THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE-- the back history of the cake that I didn't even know about until we uncovered it! the things we didn't know the why of until now!!
“Bradley,” he cuts you off. He takes another step towards you, so you’re toe to toe with him. “I’ve always been Bradley to you.” - you know i love the bradley and rooster dichotomy, like that’s my weakness!!! this made me cry last night and again doing this write up. he’s so emphatic as he says it too like it means a lot to him that he’s bradley to her right now?-- that history between them is so important to him!! like i love their chat in LIC where she explains it for him to understand. he doesn't want to be anyone else to her other than bradley!
“What if I said I wanted to try this as more than friends.” Bradley settles a large hand on your hip. “What if I said that since you’ve moved here I’ve had a hard time keeping my head on straight.” “Bradley.” His name falls out of your mouth so easily now that it can. - i’m swooning! i’m so jealous! and the “now that it can” reminded me of the ‘he won’t love you like i can’ line-- her first "bradley" after those chats are always so important to me! like miss ma'am have been constantly correcting herself in her brain for a year trying to make him Rooster to her, and when she gets that permission (request) that she calls him Bradley, like imagine relief she feels! that she was holding onto that for so long, and not realizing how much effort went into it. it's easy again because its them!
“I’m not kissing you for the first time around the corner from a bathroom,” he rasps. - THIS IS SO CUTE!! like he knows it’s gonna be a big deal when they have their first kiss!!!-- IT'S GOING TO BE THEIR LAST FIRST KISS 🥰
As it turns out, he only makes it as far as the Bronco before he’s spinning you back towards him and pressing you against it. His hands are on your hips and yours are wrapped around his neck as he kisses you for the very first time. - JUST LIKE IN LIKE I CAN GOODBYEEEEEEE it’s all so same-same but different!!!!-- exactly!!!! i was so excited to see what things played out the same! I loved their first official kiss to play out the same-same but different way! like even on a different timeline, that there are some things that remain no matter what! 💖
happy birthday to you, my best babe! i'm so happy to know you! 💖
Between Friends
Summary: Bradley and you don’t talk about that Spring Break. But a single question asked during a night out at the Hard Deck might just change things between the two of you forever.
Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Female Reader
Length: 11K
Warning: smut (including loss of virginity), brief mention of underage drinking, and college!bradley in a backwards hat
(Author's note: Happy Birthday Jordan! I wrote this just for you! Look at me keeping secrets from you! Enjoy!)
𝐍𝐎𝐖
Rooster couldn’t control his bouncing leg.
That night at the Hard Deck had started out like any other: good music, good drinks, good people. Over the course of the evening, he’d found himself seated between you and Bob in a lopsided circle with the rest of the Daggers around a few tall tables that had been pushed together just shooting the shit.
It was all fun and games until swapping stories about embarrassing middle school moments turned into cringing over first kiss stories turned into Seresin grinning like a shark asking about how everyone’s first time went down.
Rooster felt his pulse kick up with every collective laugh and groan as his friends went one by one sharing how they’d lost their virginities. Because with each passing story, it meant that you were one person closer to going. And for the first time in his life- even after over two decades of friendship- he didn’t know what your answer was going to be.
So he is just as shocked as his teammates are when you tentatively reveal, “So, um, my first time was with Rooster.” He doesn’t miss the way all his friends’ heads snap towards him.
All eyes are on the two of you, and you’re pointedly looking anywhere but him.
Rooster had been anxiously waiting to hear the story of your first official time, the one that was with someone who wasn’t him. He didn’t realize that you still considered him your first. He’d figured that part of your history had long been overwritten by whoever had been lucky enough to catch your eye and make your heart race in a romantic way.
The two of you had never talked about it in the after.
Not once, not ever.
He didn’t care that people knew, he just wasn’t expecting it.
Jake starts the group out of its stunned silence by slapping a heavy hand on top of the table, nearly sending some bottles to the floor, “I knew it! I knew y’all couldn’t have been friends all this time and not have tried it out at least once.”
“Jesus Christ, dude, chill,” Javy mutters. He’s always been the better of the two about reading the room.
Trying to spare you from being put on the spot even more than you already were now, Rooster mumbles through the way he’d lost his to a girl from his AP Econ class after a playoff baseball game.
He stares at the way you’re nervously picking at the label of the Blue Moon he’d grabbed for you when he went to get a refill of his own. He can practically hear the way your brain is buzzing. He wonders if you wish you could take back the words from where they are sitting on the table with the collection of bottles and peanut shells for everyone to see.
Bob being the team player that he is starts talking about how he’d lost his one summer in college to another camp counselor, going into more detail than he’s ever given before, probably trying to redirect the attention to himself to give the two of you a moment to regroup.
Rooster makes a mental note to tell Penny to put all of Bob’s cream sodas from now on on his own tab.
He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do here. Or where to look. Or where to put his hands. He wants to talk to you, but there’s no good way for him to go about it without drawing even more attention to the two of you.
You were supposed to be going on a first date tonight, but he’d talked you into canceling to hang out with him instead. He likes having all of your attention on him. And maybe he’s been a little selfish with you, because he doesn’t like to share you with anyone else. You’ve always been his best friend.
Rooster likes that he gets to talk to you whenever he wants now, and that it doesn’t feel like a never-ending game of catch up anymore. In the year since the Uranium mission, he’d felt like all the fragmented pieces of his life had finally come together. He’d reconnected with Mav, he was living in the same city as his best friend, and he had a place he could finally call home.
He didn’t just want the highlights with you, he wanted everything in between too. There’s no more distance due to time zones and scheduling times to call because now you only live 20 minutes away from him. And the next time he comes home from a deployment, he knows he’ll get to look forward to seeing you there waiting for him.
He feels like he’s learned so much more about the grown-up version of you over the last year than he has in the last ten.
Jake jumps in barely a breath after Bob finishes telling his story. “Well, we all know it’s not the first who matters, but who was the best.” Rooster doesn’t trust the gleam in his eyes or the sharp smile on his face. “Since Bradshaw cut you off before, how’s about you go first this time, darlin’. You can tell us about who knocked your socks off. Maybe this time he’ll let you finish, if you know what I mean.”
It’s thinly veiled snooping disguised as chivalry, and it doesn’t fool anyone. Nat’s eyes dart to him briefly, trying to get a read on him.
He’d been 21 at the time. And while he knows more now that he did then, he also knows his name isn’t going to be coming out of your mouth for a second time tonight.
Rooster takes a sip of his beer, needing something to do.
He knows you’ve been with other people. You’d lived with your ex for over a couple years, for fuck's sake. But it was like an unspoken agreement between the two of you to not talk about your sex lives with each other.
His leg starts bouncing again and he realizes he really doesn’t want to hear this. Not because of his ego, but because he doesn’t know what to do about the knot that’s formed in his stomach.
Your mouth opens and closes a couple times before you speak, “That title would also go to Rooster.” The admission is soft, but sure.
Where his heart had been pounding before, now it feels like it had stopped completely.
It’s been 13 years since that Spring Break. 13 years and he’s still your best?
Barely five minutes ago, he hadn’t known where to look. But now? Now he couldn’t stop staring at you.
He just didn’t understand why you still wouldn’t look at him back.
𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊, 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐇 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟎
When you’d floated the idea by Bradley about visiting him at UVA for Spring Break during your weekly phone call, you’d been braced for the disappointment of him already having plans. It was his Senior year, it wouldn’t surprise you if he wanted to go out with a bang and make the most of it. Especially since he would belong to the Navy soon enough.
But he’d taken you by surprise when he started enthusiastically listing off all the places he wanted to show you, planning out your trip like a well-seasoned travel agent before you’d even booked a plane ticket.
You’d started looking up airfare before you’d even hung up the phone. And thirty minutes later you had a confirmation email flagged in your inbox after elatedly charging that aisle seat to the credit card you only used for emergencies.
It had been close to a year since you’d last seen him. He usually spent his Winter Break with your family, but this year he’d stayed on campus for the holidays and it was the longest the two of you had ever been apart since you’d first met him when you were 8.
And maybe that’s why it took you so long to spot him in the Arrivals area of the Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport.
You’ve always prided yourself in being able to pick Bradley out of a crowd anywhere, but in your cursory glance you hadn’t recognized the tall, broad guy with the UVA shirt pulled taut across his chest and wearing a baseball hat backward on his head. It wasn’t until your third searching pass that you’d caught the lips that were quirked up in amusement and those familiar brown eyes trained on you as he leaned ever-so-casually against the faux wood paneling on the wall waiting for you to notice him.
He’d filled out in the months since you’d last seen him. He was more toned than you remembered him being with definition in places where there hadn’t been before. His face had more distinct angles and less baby fat cushioned curves. Still a bit boyish, but he was well on his way to looking like a man.
Bradley raised his hand like he was going to wave, but then he’d mimicked casting a fishing line in your direction and reeling it in. And it was so endearingly stupid- so him- that you couldn’t help but take the bait and made your way towards him with the biggest grin on your face.
You’d ignored the jittery flutter in your stomach as you’d weaved between people and luggage. You’ve never been nervous around your best friend before. There was something that had on your mind a lot as the days to your visit inched closer, but you’d shoved that out of your mind, because you were finally standing in front of him in person for the first time in months.
“Hey, kid,” he’d greeted you, taking your bag, “Charlottesville must have known you were coming, because she’s going to be sunny for you all week.” As soon as you were within arm’s reach, he tugged you right into his chest for a hug. You could feel the unspoken I missed you in the way he squeezed you just that bit tighter before releasing you.
Then he was dropping an arm over your shoulders and steering you towards the exit and driving you into town in the beat-up car he’d bought after selling his prized Montero, the car that Mav had given him for his birthday.
You’re only there for a week and Bradley doesn’t waste a single moment of it.
After dropping your things off in his dorm room, he takes you straight to campus where he gives you the Official Bradley Bradshaw Certified UVA Tour. He buys you lunch from one of the food trucks in the Amphitheater “for sustenance” before taking you to see the highlights. You start with the Rotunda and then the academic village, making a special pitstop at the Whispering Wall for you to tell it a secret. And then he takes you on a more historical tour, like showing you the exact route he used to streak The Lawn and pointing out the place he’d puked after his 21st birthday.
It’s clear he’d put so much thought into your visit because it seems like there is never a down moment. By the end of the third day you’re more surprised that you don't wake up every morning with a printed itinerary on your pillow.
He sneaks you into the Slaughter Rec Center to rock climb, claiming he had a person on the inside with the right connections. But really from what you could tell, the pretty girl at the check-in counter clearly had a crush on him. He takes you to the batting cages he likes to go to before Dead Week, and spends the time there equal parts making fun of your power swing and trying to fix it.
You get your revenge the next day standing outside of the imposing columns and massive doors to the Fralin Art Museum. Skeptically eyeing the sculpture in the front of the building that kind of looked like a giant wisdom tooth, you mentioned, “I didn’t realize you’d become such a patron of the cultural arts.”
“Hey now, I like artsy shit,” he’d said, only mildly affronted.
You snorted at that. “Is there an exhibit on beer pong and blunt rolling you wanted to see?” Through the window you’d spotted some large landscape oil paintings in ornate gilded frames and carved marble busts of what you assumed were probably of some of the Founding Fathers.
“You just missed that one, it was last month,” Bradley lobbed back, opening the door for you.
“What a pity,” you’d said with a dramatic sigh, “Guess we’ll have to settle for some tasteful nudes instead.”
“If we’re lucky,” he’d muttered under his breath, as you passed under his arm.
And then you’d felt the corners of your mouth kick up.
Turning around you’d pressed your finger to his chest, whispering so the person behind the ticket desk didn’t hear you, “Twenty bucks says you don’t make it thirty minutes in there.”
He narrowed his eyes, taking in your sly grin, “You’re on, kid.”
It’s the easiest $20 you’ve ever made.
The two of you call it a truce only after he tips your kayak into the still chilly Rivanna River.
Later that night, he takes you to a party on “Mad Bowl” that one of his frat friends was hosting. The backyard was all strung up with red and green Christmas lights like they had been too lazy to take them down after the holidays and decided it added to the outdoor ambiance instead of packing them away.
He was still just as protective over you as he was back in high school. Spending the whole night keeping an eye on you and handing you drinks that he’d uncapped himself using the opener that he had on his keychain, the one that still had the little fighter jet charm you’d given him ages ago dangling from it.
The days pass all too quickly as he shows you all of his favorite spots.
You knew UVA wasn’t where he’d originally wanted to be- where he thought he’d be- but you were happy that he seemed happy here.
But in between the late-night microwave ramen and movie watching and crossing off all the things on Bradley’s Spring Break To-Do List, there’d been something you’d been wanting to talk to him about. But you were having so much fun with him, you’d missed your best friend over those long months apart, and you didn’t want to ruin the time you had left with him here.
It lingered at the back of your mind like a phantom hair that you can feel, but can’t ever seem to brush off no matter how many times you attempt to. You felt like you were waiting for the right time that you weren’t sure would ever come. And if you were being honest, you weren’t entirely sure you would even be brave enough to ask if the time came.
The two of you had woken up way before the sun this morning.
If anyone other than Bradley had asked you to wake up before 5 AM to go hike to watch the sunrise, you would have laughed at them. But because it was Bradley, you’d set the alarm without comment. Even though he did have to gently pry you out of his roommate’s bed- with the fresh sheets he told you he bought especially for your visit- and lace up your shoes for you.
The views at Humpback Rock had been worth the hour hike up to the outcrop of craggy rocks. The sunrise painted them a stunning shade of soft orange as the rays illuminated evergreen covered hills and valleys that extended in front of you to the skyline. You and Bradley watched it in silence, shoulders pressed against each other as you took it all in.
You’re cozied up on your bed for the week, flipping through a book you’d brought with you, but hadn’t touched at all until now when Bradley comes back from the showers. His hair is still damp and the ends are starting to curl a bit.
He drops a Styrofoam cup of coffee on the nightstand next to you.
You hadn’t been sure what rooming with him would be like, the two of you together 24/7 since his roommate had left to go home for the break. But it felt like you were two kids at sleepaway camp getting away with mischief rather than two broke college students only pretending to get away with mischief.
He sits down at the edge of his bed, his elbows resting on his thighs, “So.”
“So?” you repeat, blowing on the hot coffee before taking a sip.
“Are you going to tell me what’s been up with you?”
You wince, and it’s not because the coffee tastes like tar.
“What do you mean?” you try to ask casually.
Bradley gives you a look that says you don’t fool me, kid. “You’ve been squirrely. I didn’t want to press it, but I can tell there’s something on your mind.” He takes a sip of his own milky battery acid. “Are classes going better since you switched majors?”
You nod, looking anywhere else other than at him.
“How are things with your Dad?”
You offer him a shrug.
He sighs your name in exasperation. You can tell he is trying to tamper his frustration at your lack of cooperation.
“Is it a guy?” Bradley tries again.
You swear you feel your heart stop, because you knew what you wanted to ask him, but you didn’t know how he was going to take it.
You fiddle with a string on his roommate’s comforter. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” you admit, tentatively, “But I’m nervous.”
Bradley’s eyebrows pull together as he sets his coffee aside, “C’mon, it’s just me. You can talk to me about anything.”
“It’s more of a question.” One you’re still deflecting from asking.
“Ok, well you know you can ask me anything.” His tiny dorm room feels even smaller as the two of you try to read the other’s face.
Taking a deep breath, you ask the question that’s been rattling around in your brain for weeks.
“Bradley, I was wondering if you’d be my first?”
Less than ten words. That’s all it takes to tilt Bradley’s world off its axis.
He’s loved getting to show you around UVA this week. It wasn’t where he thought he’d end up, but he hadn’t lost sight of where he was going. He was going to be a Naval Aviator one way or another. He just also got to have a normal college experience too, one he’d been excited to share with you.
Bradley had originally been invited to go stay with one of his friends at his family’s beach house, but when you called and asked about coming to visit Charlottesville, it was an easy choice for him. He’d pick you every time.
It had been even better getting to cross off some of the things on the bucket list he’d made for his Senior Year with you in tow, like the hike he’d taken you on this morning.
He loves the views from up there and thought it would be something you’d like too, but he’d never done the hike early enough to catch the sunrise before. It was actually something he was planning on going the morning of graduation as a symbolic way to end his time at UVA, but getting to do it with you was special in its own way.
And while he’d caught you lost in thought more than a few times over the last few days as he showed you around, he never in a million years would have ever expected you to ask him that.
Bradley knows all the words you just used, but they don’t make sense to him in that order.
His brain is working in overdrive trying to figure out if there is any possible way he could have misinterpreted you.
“Your first…”
You take another deep breath and tip your chin up in resolve before looking him dead in the eye, there’s so much vulnerability reflected in them, “I haven’t had sex before, Bradley. And I’m really hoping that my first time can be with you.”
Bradley wants to tell you to put your Styrofoam cup down because he’s worried the tight grip you have on it might crush it, but he feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.
He didn’t realize when his leg started bouncing until he sees you glance down at it.
Shooting to his feet and off his bed, he goes to lean against his recently decluttered desk. There’s too much restless energy coursing through him to just sit like he isn’t completely reeling.
“Shouldn’t you want to do this with someone special? Like with rose petals and all that shit?” He scrubs a hand over his face. Rose petals and all that shit? God, he sounds like such a fucking dumbass, but he’s struggling to keep up.
And if he’s being entirely honest, he’s pretty surprised to learn you’re still a virgin. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but he knows you’ve had at least one serious boyfriend since you’ve gone to college. He figured that you got asked out all the time. He saw the way that some of the guys in his buddy’s frat were looking at the pretty girl with the dimples and big smile.
The girl who just asked him to be her first.
He hates the way your shoulders have slumped forward, like you’re trying not to cave in on yourself, “So, you don’t want to?”
“I didn’t say that.” His answer takes him by surprise.
The only other sound in the room other than his pounding heart is the whir of the air circulating in his dorm.
“Would it help to make a pro con list?” you offer, less than helpfully with a little shrug.
“Jesus Christ,” Bradley mutters under his breath, looking up at the speckled ceiling trying to decode the flecks like tea leaves. “She’s cracking jokes like she didn’t ask me to make her come.”
“Technically, I didn’t say anything about that. I just asked you to be my first.”
“I’m not taking your virginity and not giving you an orgasm,” he states, and your eyes get wide. He runs his hands through his hair. “Sex makes things complicated, kid. We’ve got a good friendship.”
You sit up straighter on his roommate’s bed and bring your knees to your chest. It exposes the backs of your thighs and he has to shake the mental images of skin on skin out of his head.
There’s a look on your face that tells him you feel ridiculous even asking him, “Do you think you’re going to fall in love with me or something?”
“No,” Bradley says, honestly.
He knows you’re just trying to make a point.
The two of you have been friends for over a decade. He knows he cares about you- he always has- but he couldn’t imagine what anything other than just friendship would look like with you.
You nod in agreement, like you had been anticipating the answer before you’d even asked him the question.
“And do you think I’m going to fall in love with you?” you ask, your head tilting to the side.
He doesn’t even blink, “You can do better than me.”
And he means it.
Even if there was something more between the two of you, you’ve always been too good for him. And knowing him, he’d find a way to fuck it up. You’re the last person in the world he’d ever want to hurt. He’d let you down before, he doesn’t want to do it ever again.
You shoot him a disappointed look, like you don’t like hearing him say that about himself. And he’s oddly touched that you’re defending him against himself.
“You’d literally be doing me a favor.”
Bradley is still surprised that he hasn’t ended this conversation yet. The two of you were supposed to go to the movies, but that definitely wasn’t happening now.
“I’m not saying no,” he says, “But I need you to help me understand. Why me? Why now?”
“Bradley, I want it to be with you because there’s no one else I’ll ever feel as comfortable with as I do with you,” you explain.
He watches as you unfold yourself and climb off the bed, coming to stand in front of him. You gingerly reach out and put your hand on his forearm, like you don’t want to startle him. Not that he’d be able to move anyways since it feels like the soles of his feet are cemented to the floor.
“I keep waiting for it to not feel like such a big thing, but every time it seems like it’s going to happen, I freeze. And I know you’d take care of me, and I’m not talking about orgasms.” You stumble over the word a bit, not fully meeting his eyes as you say it. “It’s scary enough as a girl and I’m worried I’m going to be too in my head with anyone else. But I also don’t want to look back and have any regrets, and I know I wouldn’t have any with you.”
The mention of regrets makes his stomach twinge. His heart feels like it’s hammering in his chest. He doesn’t know what to say.
You are looking at him with such open sincerity. He has never been good with talking about his feelings, he’s always been the type to bottle things up, while you have always worn your heart on your sleeve. It was just another way that you were braver than him.
“I know it’s a lot,” you say, letting go of him to take a step back, like you want to give him breathing room, “So if it’s too big of an ask. Or if it’s not something you’re comfortable with-”
Bradley shakes his head cutting you off, “It’s not that at all, kid. I just haven’t done this before.” Your eyebrow scrunches together in confusion. “I mean, I have,” he corrects, “But it’s not the same. All the girls I’ve been with had already had experience. And if we were going to do this, I would want to make sure it’s as nice for you as it can be.”
“So you’d be my first and I’d be yours? Well, kind of.” You give him a little smile, it’s a shy but hopeful thing. There’s only a hint of your dimples, but it’s enough. And he feels that practical part of him that had been holding back soften at the sight of it.
He doesn’t think he’s ever said no to you, excluding the times you tried to get him to give you his beer at the house parties he took you to in high school, and that was more out of self-preservation from a healthy fear of your mom than anything else.
When you wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift? He took you to the abandoned parking lot, it didn’t matter that you didn’t have your learner’s permit yet. When you wanted to learn how to throw a punch? He was making sure you knew not to tuck your thumb under your fingers, so that you didn’t break your own thumb instead of someone’s nose.
He’s always had your back and you’ve had his. That’s how it was between the two of you.
You’ve already said it, but he needs to hear it again, “You really want to do it?”
“I really want it to be you, Bradley. I really want to do this with you. I trust you the most.”
He’s always been willing to help you with anything you’ve ever asked of him, why should this be any different? What’s a couple orgasms between friends?
“Ok,” Bradley nods. If it’s to reassure you or himself, he couldn’t say. “I’ll do it. We can do it.”
Your eyebrows raise in surprise, like you were fully prepared for him to let you down gently, “Really?”
You didn’t ask for his why he was agreeing, but he was going to give it to you anyway.
“I don’t think I’ve told you this, but I lost mine to Samantha Prescod after the game against Centennial that got us a spot at State that year,” he waits until he sees the recognition cross your face before continuing, “But I had also just learned about my mom’s diagnosis and I was trying to find anything I could do to not think about it.” He rubs at a spot underneath his collarbone, it never got any easier talking about his mom. “I think she assumed that I’d done it before, because we didn’t really talk about it. She was there and into it, so it just sort of happened. Actually, I’m pretty sure she only slept with me because she wanted to make her ex-boyfriend jealous, because they got back together like three days later.”
It’s probably for the best that Samantha Prescod lives on the other side of the country now because you look livid. Your eyes spark with anger and disbelief on his behalf.
“It was years ago, it’s fine, kid” he shrugs, trying to brush off your concern. “But if I had a do-over, I don’t know if I’d make the same choice again. And that’s not something I’d ever want for you.” You deserve the rose petals, but he’ll do his best for you. “So we can do it, but I have one condition.”
The relief on your face and the way the tension in your shoulder releases only solidifies his decision.
“Tell me,” you say, taking a half-step towards him, “I want you to be comfortable too.”
Bradley pushes off his desk and meets you the rest of the way, “If you even think you’re feeling uncomfortable- about any of it- I need you to tell me. And we’ll stop and figure out where to go from there. If it’s a change of position, if it’s a full stop and order pizza instead, we’ll do that.” He pauses and reaches out to tip your chin up. “I’ll do whatever you need, got it?”
You throw your arms around him, and his wrap around you just as easily. Your hair smells like the travel sized shampoo he’d picked up for you, figuring you wouldn’t want to use his 2-in-1. You murmur your thank you into his shirt followed by a fuck Samantha Prescod that makes him squeeze you just a bit tighter to him in affection.
When you step back and look at him, your lips twitch upwards, “What’s with the look, Bradshaw? Don’t tell me you’re going to lie back and think of England?”
That makes him chuckle, your joke lightening the mood in only the way that you can do. He rolls his eyes in equal parts exasperation and fondness.
“God, I haven’t been this nervous since I lost my own virginity. I was so stressed I was going to blow my load in two pumps and lose my street cred.”
You snort and send him a smirk, “Well, you must have done just fine. I overheard some glowing reviews in the girl’s bathroom on more than one occasion.”
“I maybe lasted ten trusts, but I had the good sense to eat her out after,” he admits, and then tacks on for good measure, “I’ve gotten better since then.”
“What a stud,” you tease.
This is easier, this feels like the two of you. This should be fun, it shouldn’t feel serious. He can make it good for you.
You look up at him shyly from under your lashes, “So how do we do this?”
He feels like he only just wrapped his head around the idea of it, but now he was facing the very real possibility of seeing you very naked very soon.
“You want to do it now?” Bradley blinks.
“I mean, if you’re up for it.” You scrunch your nose when you realize you’ve made a terrible double entendre. “No pun intended, I promise.”
He wipes his hands on his pants.
“You sure?” he asks again.
“I’m sure, Bradley. As long as you are too.”
He nods, “Then I guess we just…”
He’s not sure where he was going to go with that. But he’s spared from being roasted by you for making some sure to be lame birthday suit joke because you’re untying the bow on the soft lounge shorts you’d thrown on after your shower from the hike, and all the words get trapped in his throat.
You don’t look at Bradley as you slide your shorts down your legs. And you definitely don’t look at him when you pull your shirt over your head, leaving you in only a soft green mesh bra and your cotton underwear. They’re mismatched, but sex with Bradley wasn’t originally on the Spring Break To-Do List agenda for today.
In fact, you hadn’t even been sure you were going to go through with asking him until he brought up the point that he knew you had something on your mind because you apparently had no poker face.
While it felt like you had a swarm of butterflies whirling in your stomach, you also knew wholeheartedly that this was the right choice for you. Everything he had said had solidified that for you.
You weren’t sure how you were ever going to thank him for this, but you had a lifetime of friendship with Bradley to figure it out.
His room cast in the soft afternoon light, the blinds only partly closed. There are little streaks of gold that line the plaid comforter on his bed. He’d been right, Charlottesville had stayed sunny just for you.
As you climb into it and situate yourself against his pillows, you can help but notice just how much his bed smells like him. It’s not the spicy scent you associated with the High School version of him. The woodsy and warm scent embedded in the threads of his sheets suits this grown up version of him.
You feel equal parts overdressed and underdressed in your bra and underwear. You know the latter are going to come off eventually, so you make a split-second decision to just take them off yourself under his covers. The idea of Bradley helping you to pull them off later seems like it would be too intimate based on the way the thought of it makes your cheeks heat up.
It’s practical, you’re being practical, you think to yourself.
You chance a peek at him and are surprised to see that he hasn’t budged an inch. It’s almost like he is waiting for you to get completely settled before he dares to move a muscle. His eyes are trained on the pile of your clothes on the floor, he looks lost in thought.
“Bradley?”
The sound of your voice seems to kickstart him into action.
He shucks off his shirt in that kind of reckless way that seems to be ingrained in boys and then unbuttons his pants. You’re torn between feeling like you should give him privacy and wanting to watch. What you were expecting is the way he takes the time to pick his clothes up before folding them over the back of the chair at his desk.
Your mouth goes dry as you take in the sight of his body, the diffused light perfectly outlines the shape of him. His broad shoulders are rounded with the muscles he’s gained from whatever exercises the NROTC has been putting him through. Your eyes dip down to his defined chest and over the ridges of his abs. You’ve seen him in swim trunks plenty of times, but seeing the way the muscles of his thick thighs fill out the black boxer briefs he was wearing was entirely new to you.
Bradley approaches you and then pauses as he bends down to collect your pile of clothes on the floor, his hand hesitating only for a second when he reaches for your underwear. He drapes all of your things on top of his on the chair and makes his way back to you.
The gesture makes you melt a little like a soft serve ice cream cone on a summer afternoon.
You lift the corner of the cover for Bradley and he climbs in next to you. You move closer to the wall, trying to make more room for the bulk of him in his small bed, and he shifts in even closer into you until your bodies pressed tight against one another. The curves and angles of the two of you slotting together like pieces of a puzzle.
It feels like the two of you are teetering there on the edge of something. You both know exactly where it’s going, but are unsure of how to make it from Point A to Point B. Both waiting on the other person to make the first move.
He rests his warm hand on your stomach, the muscles there jumping on their own under his touch in anticipation. Your faces are close since you’re sharing his pillow. His brown eyes are searching yours, probably looking for any sign of hesitation that you don’t feel.
“Tell me how you’re feeling.” It’s not a question, but a request.
“Overwhelmed,” you admit, “But in a good way.” He runs his palm lightly up your stomach and back down, soothingly.
“Good, that’s good,” Bradley says, clearing his throat, “You’re supposed to feel a little ‘overwhelmed, but in a good way.’” You feel your lips pull up at his gentle teasing.
He smiles softly at you. His face has always been so familiar to you. The pink from his scars have finally faded, but you wonder when his eyes start crinkling around the corners.
You let go of the comforter to run a finger down the top of his nose, “I don’t know how this has stayed so straight.” He’d been in more than a couple fights in his teen years, including one that had sent him through a sliding glass door.
“Probably the combination of a little luck and the fact that none of those guys could throw a punch,” Bradley smirks. He shifts on his side, propping himself up on an elbow looking down at you, still running his hand along your stomach. “What have you done so far?”
His fingertips circle your bellybutton and your stomach swoops like it’s on the swing carousel ride at the fair.
“Some over the clothes stuff…” you stammer. You’re having trouble focusing because all your attention is on his big hand and how it feels against your oversensitive skin. “And I have a vibrator, but ah…”
You’re so keenly aware of his hand. With every lazy circle he makes, he has you wondering if this is going to be the one where he finally moves his hand lower. That part of you in flutters in expectation because you know it’s coming.
You let out a shaky huff when his fingers trails back up your stomach.
“What is it?” Bradley’s hand stops moving. “What are you thinking?”
“Honestly?” you say, trying not to squirm, “I’m getting really horny and you keep teasing me.”
He presses his lips together like he’s trying not to laugh at your overshare, and there’s amusement in his eyes.
“You know, some people call it foreplay,” he drawls. You’d roll your eyes but his fingertips are by your bellybutton again and you want him to keep going. “You ready for more?” You nod a few times because if he doesn’t touch you soon you might just crawl out of your skin. “Ok, gonna stop ‘teasing’ you now.”
This time his hand doesn’t stop at your bellybutton, it keeps moving down, down.
You stutter over a breath when Bradley’s fingers touch your clit. You feel yourself melt a little further into his mattress. He’s making easy circles, letting you get used to someone’s fingers other than your own on the most sensitive part of you. Your hands are clutching tightly to his comforter, unsure of what else to do with them.
“Spread your legs a little wider for me,” he murmurs. You feel your face heat up. He’d just given you a direction, but it sounds almost indecent coming out of his mouth.
You shift, moving your legs apart further for him, until he secures your left between his own, opening you up even more. You know you’re wet and now he does too. Bradley’s fingers slide easily over you as he increases the pressure on your clit. You can feel the intensity of his gaze on you watching for your reaction as he figures out what you like the most.
It doesn’t take him long to learn your body. You don’t know whether to be impressed with him or embarrassed with yourself at how quickly he’s worked you up.
Your breathing feels so loud in your ears in the quiet room, every breath and sigh is amplified. There’s a certain thrill in not knowing how he’s going to touch you next, your own fingers pale in comparison now.
His warm breath coasts down the side of your neck causing you to shiver at the sensation. It makes goosebumps break out along your arms and your nipples pull taut.
He notices. Of course he notices.
“Are you cold?” His voice is low in your ear.
“No, I-” Oh god, you’re right there. “B-bradley, I’m-” You’ve made yourself orgasm plenty of times, but you’ve never shared that part of yourself with anyone else before. No one knows what you sound like or what you look like when you come. But now, Bradley was going to have the piece of you too. A whine escapes you without your permission.
“It’s ok, kid, I’ve got you.”
You’re seeking and searching, but it’s Bradley’s fingers that have the answer.
And you come with your stomach twitching and hips jerking as he murmurs praise in your ear.
His fingers slow down, featherlight on your clit, but your heart is still racing when he rasps, “There’s one, you up for another?”
Bradley loves that moment during sex when he hears that first gasp or moan. He loves learning what sounds of satisfaction he can pull from his partner. He loves knowing he earned it. But he never in his life could have ever anticipated hearing those sounds from you.
In his bed. Because of him.
He didn’t expect the lick of heat that curled up his spine at the shape of your legs and the curve of your ass as you were stepping out of your shorts. He’d never seen anything so strangely endearing as it was watching you shimmy your underwear off under the shield of his covers.
Every hitch in your breath made his blood run hotter in his veins. He was trying to control his cock, but he’d started getting hard the second you’d pulled your shirt off. Your bra was some kind of sheer thing that left nothing to the imagination, and while he wasn’t trying to check you out- because that’s not how it was between the two of you- he couldn’t help the way his eyes flickered down.
You’re slippery, wet, and warm. And he knows he can make you come again.
“Do you want me to use my fingers now?”
You crack an eye open at him, it’s the first time you’ve opened your eyes since he first touched you. Your eyes are bright in that way that only comes with an orgasm. “I thought you already were.”
“Such a smartass,” he grins.
Bradley changes the unhurried circles he’d been making on your clit to the upstroke that made your hips jerk up into his hand the first time he’d tried it. The little noises you’re making have him fighting the urge to grind himself against you for some relief of his own. He’s still got your knee tucked between his own; where there had been a hint of polite space between your bodies, the way you’re writhing now has him pressed up against your hip.
You gasp, breathily, “Oh, you’re hard.” The disbelief is evident in your voice, but it’s the look in your eyes that he doesn’t know what to make of, something like surprise.
He’s been trying to be a gentleman, this is about you and not him. There might not be anything romantic happening between the two of you, but this was hot and he was more than a little turned on. And he knows you are too because he can feel how wet you are under his fingers.
“’Course I am,” Bradley says, nudging his nose against your temple, “I’ve got a pretty girl in my bed half naked.” He didn’t want you to feel like you were in this on your own, so he lightly rocks against you. He wants you to feel him, he wants you to know he is into this too. “Are you ready more?”
“I’m ready, I want more,” you confirm, wrapping your hand around his bicep.
Your breath hitches as he teases you with just the tip of his finger.
He’s been told before he has big hands and thick fingers, he’s always taken it as a compliment in the past, but now he’s scanning your face for any trace of discomfort as he sinks one into you.
Your eyebrows twitch then smooth out and your mouth drops open as he starts pumping his finger into you in a smooth rhythm.
“That feels nice,” you sigh, airily.
He knows you like it when your hips tip up just a fraction. His comforter is bunched around your waist and your nipples are peaked against the see-through fabric of your bra. He gets his thumb on your clit and you whimper as you tentatively roll your hips against his fingers.
Bradley hums his approval, “Atta girl. There you go, find what feels good for you.” His voice sounds low even to his own ears, a throaty rumble. He feels you clench around his fingers and it sets his pulse racing. It’s a piece of information he tucks away for himself.
He’s gentle on your clit, but now that he knows you’re into it he’s setting a more purposeful pace with his fingers.
You’ve got your bottom lip pinned between your teeth, like you’re trying to swallow down your sounds. He didn’t realize how much he liked hearing these new sounds from you until you started trying to muffle them. On the next slide of his finger into you, he knows exactly what he’s looking for.
You suck in a sharp breath of surprise when he finds it.
“Is that the right spot, kid?” He sounds so smug. You curse and your hand clutches at his shoulder. “You want to try a second finger?” he murmurs into your ear.
“Yes,” you rock into his hand, “Yes, please.”
“Whatever you want, Miss Manners.” His chest feels like he’s taken a shot of Fireball. “You’re so polite when you’re trying to get your way.”
“I’m always polite,” you challenged weakly, pressing your head further into his pillow.
“Mhm,” he indulges, fondly, “You’re the sweetest girl I know.”
And then he fills you with two fingers.
“Jesus, Bradley,” you gasp, offering more of yourself to him.
Your nails dig into the muscle of his shoulder as he lets your whimpers and whines guide his hands.
The two of you have your eyes fixed on the way the tendons of the visible part of his forearm are flexing before it disappears under the covers as he works you.
Bradley curls his fingers into that spongy part of you and your hand flies to his wrist, gripping him tight. It makes him pause, worried that he might have pushed you too far too fast.
“No, no. D-don’t stop,” you plead, desperately, “I’m so close. Keep going, please.” You squeeze his wrist encouragingly.
“Sorry, sorry,” he soothes. He focuses his efforts on that spot again now that he knows you weren’t wanting him to slow down, but rather trying to hold him in place. His fingers inside of you and his thumb on your clit working in tandem to get you there again.
“I just- yes. Like that. Oh fuck. Keep doing that. Oh my god. Please, Bradley.”
He’s heard you say his name a lot of different ways, but never like this.
Your back arches and you twist yourself towards him, burying your face against him and keening into the hollow of his throat as you come around his fingers.
You jerk and writhe into his hand, your knee slips free of his and your thighs clamp together around him. Bradley rolls off the arm he’d been leaning on and brings it to cradle the back of your head, pulling you closer and holding you to him as he steadily works you through it until you’re loose-limbed in his arms.
He waits until your rapid pants have evened out before he slips his fingers from you. The displeased sound that you make makes the corners of his mouth twitch. He should have known you’d be bossy. He rubs gentle circles into the divots at the base of your neck as you come down.
Bradley can feel your lips graze the side of his neck when you finally speak, “So, um, let me know if you need a letter of recommendation or anything. I’d be happy to pass one along to your next partner.” You languidly prop yourself up on his chest and he notes with pride that you look a little flushed. “But, seriously, I get it now.”
He huffs a laugh as he toys with the end of your hair, “I’m glad it lived up to the hype. Well, at least that part of it.”
You press your lips together like you’re deciding something, tracing idle shapes on his stomach, and he can’t decide if he thinks you’re doing it without realizing it or if you’re the one doing the teasing this time. Your eyes flick down to his visibly hard cock and he feels his face heat up, “Can I?”
“Do you want to?” Bradley wants this experience to be everything you need and want it to be, but something about the tables turning here and the idea of you being the one to touch him like that makes his heart pound.
“I want to make you feel good too,” you softly tell him, resting your chin on your shoulder. The tender way you’re looking at him makes his teeth ache.
“Ok, but only for a little bit,” he agrees. Bradley knows he’s walking a tightrope with this, he’s aching and more than ready to be touched, but he doesn’t want to come all over your hand.
He plants his feet into his mattress and lifts his hips enough to pull off his boxer briefs, sighing in relief as his cock bobs free.
“That can’t be average,” you mutter under your breath.
He doesn’t know if you meant to have said it out loud but he smirks all the same, “I’ve never been average a day in my life, kid, Grade A student here.”
A groan slips out of him as your tentative fingers grasp his cock. There’s a lack of finesse in the way you touch him, your hand isn’t nearly as well-practiced as his own. He wraps his hand over yours, guiding your strokes as he shows you just what he likes.
“You can grip it a little firmer,” he coaches. You nod studiously, like you’re going to be tested on it later. Together the two of you work him from root to tip.
Bradley had never given much thought to his size until now. He knew he was big, but seeing that your thumb couldn’t reach the tips of your fingers when your hand was curved around him was an ego boost he didn’t know he needed.
You get more confident with every glide up and down the length of him. Your tricky thumb sweeps over the tip, collecting what precum had gathered there, and it makes your hand slide easier over him. When he accidentally thrusts into your hand, you grin and there are those dimples again.
“Ok, ok,” he blows out a shaky breath, stilling your hand with his. “We gotta stop or I’m going to come. And I’m not about to be a one pump chump.”
“It sounded like you’re more of a ten pump chump, if I remember correctly,” you tease, looking all too pleased with yourself. “Don’t worry, Bradshaw, your street cred is safe with me.”
He shakes his head in amused disbelief, “You’re such a goddamn menace. I knew I shouldn’t have told you that part.” He surprises the both of you when he wraps an arm around you and rolls to pin you under him.
And it’s like all the air is sucked out of the room because your thighs are cradling his hips and his cock is resting heavy on your stomach.
Neither one of you dare to move. He’d give anything to know what you’re thinking right now, he feels out of his depth as he watches you watching him.
His tongue feels thick in his mouth, “Are you on-”
You nod before he even finishes the question.
“Do you have-”
He nods before you finish yours.
“What did you promise me?” he prompts, squeezing the dip of your waist.
You hold up your pinky to him, “I’ll tell you.” He wraps his own crooked one around yours and gives it a shake.
Bradley doesn’t know what comes over him, but he drops a kiss to your shoulder as he reaches over you into the drawer of his nightstand to fish out what he needs. He’s thankful when you don’t comment on it because he wouldn’t even know how to explain it.
He leans back on his knees and rolls the condom on with practiced ease, then flicks open the cap to the bottle of lube he’s also grabbed and drizzles it over his cock.
“Am I not…” you trail off. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard you sound this shy with him before.
“You’re plenty wet,” he assures you, pumping himself- once, twice- just enough to coat himself, “But this’ll be good too. I think you’ll like it.”
Bradley settles back over you, one arm braced by your head and the other on your hip, as your hands come up to rest lightly on either side of his ribcage. He rocks against you to demonstrate; the head of his cock nudges your clit with each silky pass. You exhale heavily at the sensation as he eases you into the motion of it, as he shows you what it’s like with another person.
You’re holding him close, and in just a moment the two of you will be the closest two people can be.
He makes only enough room to reach down between your bodies, only looks away from your face long enough to line himself up with you. There is such trust in your eyes as you gaze up at him, it’s not something Bradley takes for granted.
You nod, your fingers stroking his sides.
God, does he want this to be good for you.
He takes a breath.
And then he’s shifting forward and pressing in.
Bradley thrusts into you with all the careful gentleness you’d expect from him.
His thumb skimming along your forehead as he pushes in, in, in.
When he found that spot inside of you with his fingers, you thought you were going to fly away from the intensity of it, but then he’d pulled you into the safety of his arms and you felt like you could fall apart because he’d be keeping the pieces of you together.
He’s been so good to you. He is so good to you. He’s the best person you know.
The more of him he gives you, the less you feel like you can catch your breath.
You feel hot, hot all over. And much fuller than you’ve ever been.
Some sound must make its way out of you because Bradley offers you a low soothing noise before you feel his lightly chapped lips against your temple.
There’s something about this that reminds you of the time he tried to teach you how to skateboard. Always waited until you told him you were ready, until you found your balance. He’d held your hand as you cautiously rolled along the sidewalk, you were less worried about falling with him by your side. Only this time, his hand is on your waist and the only movements are his hips against yours as he rocks into you.
Little by little. Inch by inch.
You clutch at his biceps at the slight stinging sensation and you feel him hesitate.
“It’s just a lot,” you whisper. His fingers flex on your waist.
“You’re doing so good, just a bit more,” Bradley murmurs, encouragingly.
There’s pressure, there’s a give, and then there’s relief when his hips finally, finally meet yours.
“Shit,” he curses under his breath.
Your eyes had flickered shut somewhere along the way. You open them to see that Bradley’s face and chest are flushed pink, the muscle of his jaw flexing. The furrow between his eyebrows is so deep that you release your grip on him to smooth out the lines with an unsteady fingertip.
He reads the question in your eyes.
“You’re just really tight,” he grits out, voice strained.
You assumed that was a good thing, but he’s holding himself so tense above you that now you’re not sure. “Do I-,” you fumble over the words, “Does this feel good for you?”
He huffs an incredulous laugh, and brushes back some hair from off your face, “You feel really fucking good, sweet-”
Your whimper cuts him off when he pulls out a fraction and then pushes back in.
His brown eyes take you in as he does it again, more this time. Pulling out just a bit- just enough- and then filling you again. The discomfort fading more with each thrust as he guides his hips to yours until yours are tilting up to meet his seeking more.
It’s a conversation between your bodies, the give and the take of it all as Bradley introduces you to this new unspoken language. You feel yourself flutter around his cock, stretched wider than you’ve ever been.
You feel that heat spreading underneath your skin again as he surely and steadily pumps into you. It feels like your nerves are on fire. You didn’t expect to even come once and you’re well on your way to a third.
He reaches down and hooks your leg over his hip. His hand slides up along the outside of your thigh and under your ass, tilting your hips up towards his even more. He’s so much deeper like this. Your hands slide into his hair, tugging at his curls.
“Bradley, I-I think… I feel-”
“You’re gonna come,” he rasps, nodding at you. Encouraging, coaxing.
He grinds his pelvis against your clit with every deliciously slow roll into you.
Your mouth drops open at the feel of it, it’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined. You don’t think your faces have ever been closer than they are now. Bradley is breathing your air, and you’re breathing his. Bradley’s pupils are blown wide, his heavy-lidded eyes are locked on yours. You didn’t know there could be so many shades of brown. His curls are a mess and it’s all because of you. He licks his lips and your breath catches in your throat when his eyes dart down to your parted mouth.
His next thrust into you hits that spot inside of you just so right that it has you gasping.
It’s so good, it’s too good, it’s overwhelming.
You wrap your arms around his neck clinging to him, your face buried against him. Bradley drops his head to your shoulder, you feel his lips brush against your clavicle. Your head moves away on instinct, making more room for him if he wants to do it again.
You get lost in the feeling of his cock hitting you in all the places you’ve heard about and read about, but have never felt for yourself until now. He’s still got your ass gripped in his hand, whereas your hands can’t stay in one spot. They’re tangled in his hair, running over his shoulders and down his abs, gliding over his back aided by the sheen of sweat he’s worked up.
You’re not trying to hold yourself back, but it feels like you’re standing on the tallest diving board at the pool, your toes curled around the edge, but still too nervous about the drop to jump.
“C’mon, kid. You’re right there,” he breathes hard, “I need you to come for me. Just one more.”
He gets his fingers back on your clit and it’s the end of you. Your back is arching so much you think you might snap. Your toes curl so tights they may never unfurl. The force your orgasm overtakes you, demanding everything you have up to offer and then some.
You hear Bradley’s moan as you pulse around his cock, trembling under him as the waves of pleasure wash over you. His hips stutter against yours, finally losing that steady rhythm he’d set, you pull him tighter to you and it’s not long until he comes too.
It’s all white noise. All you can feel is your heartbeat pounding, until little pieces of the world come back into focus.
The hum of the fan.
The beam of warm afternoon light through the blinds.
The smell of the now cold coffee on his nightstand.
In the after, you’re all too aware of every place your body is touching Bradley’s.
He’d somehow managed to roll on his back and had taken you with him. He was literally just inside of you, but yet it feels like your leg draped over his thigh is somehow more intimate. A prickly self-conscious feeling settles over you. Unsure of what the rules were for friends who just had sex, you attempt to peel yourself off of him, but the heavy arm over your waist keeps you in place.
“Come back here, kid,” Bradley mumbles, his eyes still closed, “I need to cuddle after I come, so I’m gonna need you to indulge me here for a moment.” He strokes a soothing hand down your back. And while he says it’s for him, you know he’s still trying to take care of you.
He hums when you lay back down. You set a hand on his chest. He reaches for it with his free one and threads your fingers together. It makes you melt further into him.
You feel a little different. But mostly, you feel like a weight you didn’t know you’d been carrying had been lifted off of you.
Your first time was everything you hoped it would be. You were safe and cared for, and you already knew, you’d never have any regrets about it. And it was all because of him.
“Thank you, Bradley,” you say, softly.
“Anything for you, kid.”
Your early morning catches up with you as you lay there, warm and secure. Your eyelids get heavier with each pass of Bradley’s hand along your spine. And you drift off to the sound of his heartbeat under your ear.
You’re still you. And Bradley is still Bradley.
It was just… something between friends.
A few hours later the two of you are still in his bed.
Only now you’re clothed and swapping the cartons of Chinese food that he’d ordered while you’d napped against his chest, and fighting over the fortune cookies watching some reruns of old sitcoms. You couldn’t hear their laugh tracks over your own.
The last couple of days you had at UVA fly by just as quickly.
You don’t know how, but the two of you managed to cross of all the things on his Spring Break To-Do List. And before you knew it you were back at the airport.
Bradley had insisted on walking you in, wanting to see you off.
Neither one of you has ever been good with goodbyes. So you don’t give him one, instead you reach for your bag and tell him, “Ok, see you in June.”
Bradley doesn’t let go, clearly confused, “What the hell are you talking about?”
You grin because it feels like a checkmate.
“You didn’t think you’d be getting that diploma all by yourself, did you?”
He looks thunderstruck.
You and your mom already had the plane tickets and hotel room booked. Your stepdad wouldn’t be able to come, but he was planning on sending your mom with one of the cakes from his family’s bakery. You’d been tasked with finding out what flavor, carrot cake or peanut butter- Bradley’s two favorites- but you could iron out the details with him later.
You’d had a busy week, plus it was more fun this way.
Bradley tugs you into his arms, yours wrap around him just as easily as they always have.
“June?” he asks into the crown of your head.
“June,” you promise.
And when he lets you go- for real this time- it’s with a smile that takes up his whole face.
He doesn’t say goodbye either, “Be good, kid. See you in June.”
𝐍𝐎𝐖
You avoid Rooster for the rest of the night.
And Jake too, for that matter. Bless Javy for finding ways to distract him because you could tell than man was chomping at the bit for more details. But you’d already given him more than enough.
You could have lied, you probably should have lied. It might have been easier than feeling like you’d hung up part of yourself on the drying line for everyone to see. But in that moment, the thought of lying and saying anyone else’s name other than Rooster’s had made your stomach turn.
Because it was the truth, he was your first, but he was also your best.
When you come out of the bathroom, there’s no missing Rooster. He’s leaning against the wall by the entrance. It takes him a moment to notice you since he looks lost in thought, but when he does you feel pinned to the wall by the intense look in his eyes.
He stands to his full height as you approach, you know he wants to talk about it.
You shake your head at him, “We don’t need to do this.”
“No, kid, we really do.” He takes you by the arm and leads you to a quieter spot away from everyone else.
“It was just a game,” you start before he can, “And now I know more about everyone’s sex life than I ever wanted to.” He crosses his arms over his chest at your attempt at deflection. “Look, I’m really sorry if that was something you wanted to keep a secret or just between us. I should have asked you first if that was ok to share.”
“I don’t care about that.” Rooster waves you off and takes a step closer to you, his eyes searching yours. “All this time and I’m the best you’ve ever had?”
“Are we really doing this? Here and now?”
You peer around him to look and see if anyone is watching the two of you, it feels like a showdown. But all the Daggers are occupied, probably on purpose. You’ve never seen Mickey with such a serious look of concentration on his face.
“Here and now,” he confirms.
You feel flustered, “Rooster, it’s been 12 years and we haven’t talked about it once-”
“Bradley,” he cuts you off. He takes another step towards you, so you’re toe to toe with him. “I’ve always been Bradley to you.”
The tension that had crept up in your shoulders releases a bit.
“Bradley,” you say, softly. “Listen, I’ve had a lot of good sex since then. Great sex even.” He presses his lips together and nods. “And with other men, if I felt like they weren’t putting in their best effort I’d kick them out because the bar was set very high early on.”
You see him fight back a smirk.
“That’s my girl,” he murmurs, with pride.
Your breath gets caught in your throat, you know he hears it because his eyes take on a richer shade of brown. You both feel the shift, tension churning between the two of you.
Taking a deep breath, you continue, “But I was telling the truth when I said you were my best. Probably because of the way you made sure I knew that you cared. I don’t know how to describe it. It was just different with you.”
You feel his finger graze the back of your hand.
The sounds of the Hard Deck fade into the background as you stare at each other. Entire conversations are being had as you look into his eyes and he looks into yours. Words and sentences spoken with glances.
Just friends don’t look at each other like this.
“It’s never been like this,” you whisper, “We’ve never been like this before.” You gesture at how close he is to you.
How he’s almost got you backed up against a wall.
How he’s looking at you like you’re his.
“I know.”
He says your name and your heart somersaults in your chest.
“I want to see your tattoo. I keep finding myself looking for it when we’re all at the beach. And then I get annoyed, knowing that people have seen it and I haven’t.”
“My tattoo? Bradley, what-”
“I want to see your tattoo,” he repeats like it’s a fact. “And I want to punch Seresin in his smug face every time he flirts with you.”
You roll your eyes, “Jake doesn’t flirt with me, not really. He just likes riling you up.”
“What if I said I wanted to try this as more than friends.” Bradley settles a large hand on your hip. “What if I said that since you’ve moved here I’ve had a hard time keeping my head on straight.”
“Bradley.” His name falls out of your mouth so easily now that it can.
“I want to take you home with me. I want to kiss you. I want to make you come. I need to know if you sound the same in my bed. And then I want to take you out for breakfast and buy whatever fancy coffee you want and as many pancakes as you can eat.”
You’ve been told that you wear your heart on your sleeve, but he has always worn his on his face. There’s no mistaking the open want on his face.
“Bradley, it’ll be different this time.” For so many reasons.
Because it’s not a favor being asked. It’s not some new experience being tried with the person you trust the most, with everything. You’d be on equal footing. It wouldn’t be a friend helping a friend, the two of you would be crossing that line between friends and more because you want each other in that way.
“I want it to be different, sweet girl,” he says, cupping your face in his familiar hand, “I’m ready for it to be different, if you are.”
He looks from your eyes down to your parted lips.
“We didn’t do that last time,” you whisper. Feeling brave, you reach out and run your fingers along the buttons of his shirt.
“No, we didn’t,” he agrees. His eyes are trained on his thumb as he skims it under your lip. “And that’s a damn shame.”
Bradley’s face is all you can see. Warm eyes, a still-straight nose, and a soft smile that is for you and you alone.
He dips down and your eyes flutter closed, your head tipping up on its own in anticipation.
His lips brush your cheek. It’s not enough.
You tug on his collar, but he chuckles and kisses your cheek again, lingering longer this time.
“I’m not kissing you for the first time around the corner from a bathroom,” he rasps.
You open your eyes and see the amusement in his. He always did like teasing you.
“Oh, where do you plan on doing it then?”
“Outside your front door, like a gentleman,” he says, like it’s obvious.
You can’t help but grin because Bradley Bradshaw can’t wait the extra 10 minutes it would take to drive to his place instead of yours. He wants that kiss just as badly as you do. You watch as a matching smile to yours blooms across his face.
It feels normal to slide your fingers between his much larger ones. It feels right as you lead the way out of the Hard Deck with him only a step behind you.
As it turns out, he only makes it as far as the Bronco before he’s spinning you back towards him and pressing you against it. His hands are on your hips and yours are wrapped around his neck as he kisses you for the very first time.
Bradley kisses you like a man who knows what he wants. And what he wants is you.
It’s not tentative in the way that first kisses usually are.
He kisses you like he knows you.
Because he does.
Later, when he closes the door to the Bronco for you, it feels like the end of one thing. But as he slips his fingers into yours when he backs out of the parking space it feels like the beginning of something new.
That night tangled in Bradley’s sheets- he’d kissed you at every light which made those extra 10 minutes it took to get to his home worth it- he makes your back arch and your toes curl as he makes you come with his fingers and mouth and tongue and cock. His lips dropping kiss after kiss on every part of you that he can reach. Because he can, because you want him and he wants you.
The way he touches you tells you that he remembers it all.
He was you first, but what you wouldn’t learn until later, is that he would also be your last.
And he’d be the only man to ever have your entire heart.
Happy Birthday Jordan! An AU just for you! 💖 I adore you and I hope this year is the best one yet!
A big thank you to @callsignspark and @ofstoriesandstardust for their help and beta reading and their woogirling! I appreciate you two so much!
Author's Note: this was a "what-if" AU set in the 'Like I Can' universe! If you want to read about what really happens you can read it here!
You can read more of my stories here!
Taglist:
@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @ofstoriesandstardust @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader
#this is a fic and a half with all the commentary lol#between friends (alexa's version)#what a GIFT i have been given truly#<- only the best for youuuuu#the babe with the to do list
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BRING ON THE RAGE THAT IS THE ORIGINALS SEASON 5 IN THIS GODFORSAKEN REWATCH, I GUESS
i want someone to write me an au of this season with all of my very specific needs and those needs are mostly: BE NICER TO HAYLEY, YOU SHITTY, SHITTY WRITERS
CAROLINE, MY LOVE.
okay, i don’t remember why the fuck she does it, but hope kidnapping hayley or whatever is such fucking bullshit.
bc she wants to see klaus. bc he is BEING A DICK AND WON’T JUST PICK UP THE PHONE. HAYLEY DIES BC THIS IS ALL SOME GODDAMN BULLSHIT.
freya and klaus huggginnggg. GOSH. freya answering her brother’s “the years have been kind to you” with the words, “well you know, sunblock, the love of a good woman, and literal witchcraft” as the answer is amazingggggggg
THE FREYA AND VINCENT FRIENDSHIP IS POSSIBLY THE BEST THING ABT SEASON 5 FOR ME, I THINK
marcel wandering around calling himself the king of the city is my least fav marcel, honestly.
i have.... rlly run up my quota of being able to stand elijah, so this elijah-centric ep is a REAL FUCKING DRAG, but damn if i don’t love seen jamie murray The Ageless Most Delightful Bitch Around again. but i haaaaate this arc so much and i don’t wanna relive it again.
freya checking up on hope and just seeing right through her lies is... TEH BESTTTT i hate so much abt what these last seasons chose to be with the overarching plot stuff, but i wish SO BADLY that we had gotten more domestic family stuff with both little hope and big hope.
WE'VE REACHED IT FOLKS. 5X06 THE WORST EP IN EXISTENCE
HAYLEY IS SUCH A GOOD MOM. FUCK EVERYONE WHO MADE THE DECISION TO WRITE THE FINAL SEASON THIS WAY.
the fact that they take her werewolf side away from her before they kill her just.... cements how absolutely shitty this whole thing is. her werewolf side meant so much to her.
THE FACT THAT ELENA AND STEFAN RAN FOR LIKE FIVE FUCKING MINUTES THROUGH MYSTIC FALLS TO GET TO THE GRILL IN WHATEVER SEASON WHEN THEY’RE DAYLIGHT RINGS STOPPED WORKING ALSO CEMENTS HOW MUCH BULLSHIT IT IS THAT SHE BURNS SO DAMN FAST.
phoebe’s acting in the moment is... so good. and so much better than this bullshit show deserves.
I HATE THIS
IT’S SO SHITTY
IT’S SO SO SO SO STUPID
THEY COULD HAVE DONE SO MANY OTHER THINGS AND THEY CHOSE TO DO THIS???
THERE WERE SO MANY WAYS TO DO LEGACIES THAT DIDN’T INVOLVE KILLING HOPE’S PARENTS. THAT DIDN’T INVOLVE KILLING HAYLEY. fuck them so hard for doing this.
ugh, i barely want to keep watching. YET AGAIN.
but the look of freya, curled up into herself looking so small, waiting for hope to wake up. sitting there in her grief bc she loved hayley too. waiting to have to be the person to tell her that her mother died. FUCK
all the freya and hope bonding stuff post hayley’s death is like.... the only good thing abt the rest of this season.
also the freya and keelin stuff:)
AND THE FREYA AND HAYLEY FEELINGS FROM HER FUNERAL SPEECH. FUCK ME I’M SO MAD AND SAD AND I NEED ALL THE FIC
i have a lot of feelings abt freya trusting hope to make her own decisions abt what is best for her. treating her like a person with thoughts and feelings and choices the same way hayley always did.
FREYA’S PROPOSAL IS SO SO GOOD. i love her. i love keelin. I LOVE THEM. THEY DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS FREYA’S SHITTY BROTHERS DON’T GET TO TAKE FROM HER ANYMORE.
ivy didn’t deserve to die. yet another shitty death/decision this final season.
the thing that pisses me off is that i LIKE seeing hope and klaus bond, but it very much feels like at the expense of giving us hayley and hope, which it also felt like in s4, a little bit, only now it’s worse bc they KILLED HAYLEY IN ORDER TO DO IT.
soz josh i just.... never cared abt you enough for your death to be emotional. but good job buddy, rip.
elijah telling freya he can’t walk her down the aisle. FUCK YOU, YOU WALNUT. YOU BROUGHT ALL THIS SHIT FEELINGS UPON YOURSELF, BE NICE TO YOUR SISTER WHO PUT HER WHOLE LIFE ON HOLD AND WAS HAYLEY’S PARTNER FOR SEVEN GODDAMN YEARS.
freya panicking and blowing up her relationship before the wedding is CLASSIC MIKAELSON BUT ALSO TERRIBLE, but thank FUCK they give us rebekah and sister moments to deal with their damage and shitty trauma their parents gave them from it.
I LOVE FREYA AND KEELIN SO MUUUUCCCCHHHHH
OH NO IT’S THE HAYLEY AND HOPE AFTERLIFE REUNION SCENE AND NOW I’M GONNA DIE OF FEELINGS
THE GASP THAT HAYLEY LETS OUT WHEN SHE SEES HOPE
THE WAY THEY BOTH CLING TO EACH OTHER
HOPE DOESN’T WANT TO LEAVE HER ALONEEEEE
HAYLEY IS WITH THE WOLVES AND HER PARENTS AND JACKSON AND SHE’S OKAY SHE’S NOT ALONE SHE’S GONNA BE OK (she’s not. it’s bullshit that she’s dead but ATLEAST they gave her this)
THE WAY HAYLEY HAS TO SHAKE THE TEARS OUT OF HER EYES AFTER SHE FORCES HERSELF TO PULL AWAY FROM THE LAST HUG SHE’S GONNA GET FROM HER DAUGHTER IN YEARS
THE WAY HAYLEY SAYS, “SUCK IT UP, BC I FORGIVE YOU, SO YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF. YOU HAVE TO LIVE A FULL, BRILLIANT LIFE AND COME BACK AND TELL ME ALL ABT IT”
I WANT TO DIE, YALL.
landon is still artisanal mayonnaise but he makes hope smile, so, fine.
I KNOW IT’S THE FINALE AND THEY’RE PLAYING WITH MY EMOTIONS AND IT’S FUCKING RUDE BUT I’M DELIGHTED TO SEE CAMI AGAIN SO FUCK YOU SHOW
the family dinner shot for klaus’ funeral is.... lovely and painful and i just wish hayley had also been there. she could have been alive for legacies to work. i do get that klaus, narratively, probably needed to die. he grew, he changed, not all the way, but he did change. this is a good death as far as narrative and arc and shit goes. it’s earned. klaus and elijah lived a thousand years. it’s okay. it’s sad, bc hope is losing family, but it’s ok. killing hayley wasn’t.
VINCENT AND FREYA AND KEELIN MAKING THEIR OWN FAMILY STILL KILLS ME I NEED ALL THE FIC OF THIS AND BIG COUSIN HOPE
rebekah getting to choose. to have the choice. to be a human. to have a family (tho, babe, adoption was always an option, just saying) to marry the love of her life. to GET TO CHOOSE WHAT SHE WANTS is so so important to me.
honestly, klaus and elijah dying together gets me. it’s earned. it’s emotional, it’s a good end to their story. they could have just done this and kept hayley alive. bc it’s a good ending in so many other ways.
it’s been a glorious ride niklaus,
i mean
fuck
i am actually crying rn.
ugh. there was so much that was infuriating abt this final season. but there was possibility there and i’m just sad they squandered it. i’m sad they did hayley so fucking dirty. i’m sad they were creative enough to think they could do legacies without killing both hope’s parents to do it
what a bummer
but, i had a good time overall in this rewatch. onto legacies i guess.
#i'm sad and emotional and i need to find fic#i can't believe i jsut rewatched all of tvd AND to#i never thought i'd rewatch either ever again#I LIKED SO MUCH MORE OF IT THAN I REMEMBERED#honestly#as enraging as so many of these shows are#if i care abt the characters i will enjoy a hell of a lot more of it than some boring prestige thing with good acting#give me a trash show with babies i can latch onto any day i guess#the originals#REWATCH OVER#tho i'll probably make a legacies post bc WHY NOT#i made all these it was fun#it's my blog i can literally do whatever the fuck i want
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ctubbo characterization master post
Ok so I was thinking abt ctubbo and characterization and how a lot of the fandom doesn't rlly have a solid grip on him (no shade its not on here mainly) whether it's bcs of lack of interest or exaggeration and like fandom lense or whatever (he tends to kinda get fucked ovr in ensemble fics) and then I thought well we talk abt scary nuke violence tubbo vs uwu beeboy or whatever but I was thinking there's definitely more to it then that bcs sometimes when I'm writing even I'm super insecure abt my portrayl of ctubbo so ig this post is kind of like a breakdown using some of my fav ctubbo things for me that could b useful 4 others as well
(This might b a little unorganized and like unprofessional-!!i will misspell and abbreviate a lot srry!!-but it's tumblr so who cares just don't expect too much cohesiveness I am writing this to get my thoughts out mostly
[DISCLAIMER!! most of this is my personal interpretation of ctubbo seeing as that's what ctubbo is mostly, what u interpret him as, but also its a bunch of notes and common traits that I got from awesome ctubbo fans and I'm mainly making it 2 help me :) < I'm not linking canon examples and evidence bcs I'm lazy and fuck that alsooo I'll mainly b focusing on ctubbo individually and not his relationships and such
ctubbos humor
I'm gnna start w ctubbos humor and irony and that kinda stuff. So like w ctubbo and characterization a lot of times ppl will take traits or speaking habits from the streamer and apply them to the character which is common in the general mcyt fandom but w ctubbo it's esp common bcs of cctubbos whole "ctubbo is just me but if I was put into certain situations" which we've kinda moved past seeing as that thought process worked better in the earlier seasons before ctubbo was morw cctubbo and less a result of his circumstances, his experiences, and ctubblings drawing lines between things << this isn't my main focus rn tho there is a huge distinction between cc and ctubbo
To get to the point ctubbo is a pretty serious dude but also he's not, there's a fun middle ground that I like where ctubbos humor has definitely become darker as he's aged bcs of his circumstances. One of the best examples I can thing of is this line from elegy in eleven bars by ssootsprite
^^this definitely portrays ctubbos humor well imo, the dark irony and humor that often stems from taht fact that ctubbo will sometimes jsut do what he finds funny but usually those take form on a smaller scale if we want an actual cohesive character
ctubbo swiss army knife
Ive made a handful of posts abt this but one bit abt ctubbo that is often missed is the fact that he's been dehumanized throughout his story which led to him internalizing it not seeing himself as a person entirely, more like a tool for others or a means to an end. I love love dsmp au fics but something some of them miss out on is ctubbos urge to serve others which stems into two branches that I call safety and self
When in a dangerous situation or around someone that he's deemed dangerous ctubbo will instinctively shift to politeness and servitude occasionally its his follower instinct<<this is bcs of manburg specifically cschlatt though it was really instilled to him by cdream after the whitehouse fight (where he called him a follower) and the disc saga finale (called him a sidekick). This happens sometimes in canon but enough times for it to be a full blown like, thing my fav explanation of this is augustus evergreen by thatweirdguyinthebushes on ao3
The second facet "self" is more deep, it's ctubbos actual beliefs, that he's not worth anything if he's not doing something or his tendency to work as a means of avoiding emotion. He doesn't see himself as a person or a child, often forcing himself into the roll of an adult to meet a goal of serving others (his nlm presidency) < this also comes from Manburg but can also be tied to my fav quote "a good kid and a better spy" (not gnna go too into ctubbos spy mentality bcs that's a whole other essay LOL) after being repeatedly handed jobs that are not meant for kids, responsibities much larger than him, he internalized all of it and tied it to his self worth and how he sees himself
Fav FAVVVV example is this poem and art
by @/yellogazello which gets the point across by whacking u ovr the head w emotion and some ctubbo aesthetics that rlly do well 4 his character -> also I made 2 web weaves on all ^^^this if ur interested also I've got a bunch of analysis on it in #smpanalysis bcs it's my fave ctubbo is kind of naturally a follower but this isn't always a complete negative (see: the way he comfortably follows Tommy or the way he and Tommy willingly followed Wilbur- it isn't always an 100% bad thing but over the course of his life it's kind of been tainted
ctubbo logic brain
Tubbo "logic braining" something =/= him thinking logically it's him and his fucked up process that filters things through his weird logic that would make any stable person worried, his brain does flips to rationalize his own and others thought processes to make them make sense to him, it's the same kind of thinking that is responsible for his "safe people" its the same kind of thinking that makes him blame himself for things that were clearly out of his control. While ctubbo is often seen as a more "brain lead" character, most, hell, all of his core motivations are emotional >> the need to protect his loved ones, his people, the innocent, to live upto expectations, and so on. This ties into his protective sort of paranoid nature that he displays toward his loved ones that is sometimes misconstrued as controlling
A lot of ^^^^^ this can be tied to ctubbos relationship w attachments and belongings which is one of the dsmps overall themes, ctubbos logic being that attachment is irrational and only leads to being hurt but forming attachments and getting hurt against his better judgment
ctubbo and the nukes
One thing that is often lost in surface level depictions of ctubbo is the nuke plot. This is often used to characterize ctubbo as violent or immoral (which I won't deny he can be at times) but one key detail about ctubbos nukes is that they were always a last resort, no matter what he threatened or said he never ever wanted to use them, constantly emphasizing how crazy it was that he had access to so much power and how terrified he was of misusing it in the missing nuke stream w jack. ctubbo has always always been a peaceseeking character. Like w most things abt ctubbo there's a nice middle ground, though tubbo leans less towards chaotic and more towards solemn, esp when at an emotional low
The nukes hold a lot of symbolism for ctubbo and are often presented as an antithesis to the bee symbolism used for him > the nukes being him becoming more violent and straying from what is deemed moral as a defense mechanism, becoming worse than your enemies (stay soft by mitski etc) and the bees representing his innocence and the loss of it (a common theme w ctubbo and on the dsmp in general) tying to the more nature-y imagery that become professional/political in late s1 & 2 which then became technologybased and cold in s3 & 4
ctubbos emotional intelligence
Another thing that a lot of people miss about ctubbo is that he has very veryy little emotional intelligence. Post-Michael kidnapping and arguably pre-Michael kidnapping there was this (mildly popular) notion that ctubbo was together emotionally to the point where there were a lot of misunderstandings surrounding his actions but the thing is he isn't. When it comes to himself ctubbo is aware that he is effected by his trauma (he will often make references to it) but he never does anything about it, he views it as irritational and tends to compartmentalize and repress his emotions which often leads to him hurting himself and others. ctubbos responses to emotion range from pure apathy to overwhelming him to the point of tears (which we've seen once w the anniversary stream) He's also not very good with recognizing the emotions of others, while he is good at reading people and their intentions (mainly people he has close relationships with) he is generally extremely blunt sometimes to the point of hurting other people's feelings on accident which he usually apologizes for immediately afterwards. In fact, ctubbos bluntness and politeness are a fun contrast to experiment with if you're interested
With all of ^^^this stuff dissonance by shrugofgod does a rlly good job of this I'm just putting a small snippet but the entire fic is incredible w sm details and ctubbo intricacies it's so good
ctubbo survival and tragedy
ctubbo has survived a lot especially in comparison to other characters he is close to << that was badly worded, what I mean is a lot of the people in ctubbos life have died/were dead/are dead and he just isn't. Tragedy is a large part of ctubbo, if something is going right for him it will inevitably go wrong, things like stability don't exist for him, he doesn't trust it and why should he? His paranoia has consistently been proven to be justified over and over again. Dramatic irony is such a huge part of him, he's experienced so much and has survived through so much but its like he can't die and he has to live everytime.
I made a webweave abt this that pust cqs firey survival next to ctubbos cold survival, I think i do a better job explaining in the notes of that
And this post which is the best thing I've ever posted is basically a bunch of super talent tubblings who've written poetry abt this topic (and other ctubbo stuff but mainly this) if u wnna check it out
Most of these things can be heavily elaborated on (nature of the dsmp is to have incredible fleshed out characters that feel human and awesome and that make u crazy) but this is kinda a summary and I have others posts that kind of do that I just wanted to put all this in one place
More stuff ⬇️
This post is a succinct and well put ctubbo explanation/summary and a fave
And this post is wondas god tier dsmp characterism breakdown that will save ur life if ur a writer
This post is a fic recs post that has a lot of epic awesome dsmp writers but a lot of them write ctubbo bcs I'm biased
And finally here's a link to tubbo3091<3333 which a roleplay blog that has the most perfect ctubbo characterization ever in the world
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Tom Lucitor
Send me a Character
sorry it’s been awhile, been busy
First impression
well tom was the reason i checked out the show at all, cause i saw his design and i got curious about him so i checked out s1 and really enjoyed it. I came in wanting tom to improve and want him and marco to get along because i felt marco was the perfect character to help tom with his issues.
tom just made a very interesting first impression, even if he was at his worst at that point.
Impression now
oh he’s my favorite star character, as ppl already know, and arguably the best character in the show. He has a consistent arc that’s handled really well (Until the ending of s4) and he’s consistently likable and fun to watch.
It’s jsut so unfortunate he felt like he got thrown under the bus cause not only do we have to watch his best friends treat him like crap and then have tom randomly push them together because the writers needed him too and not because it felt right for his character at the time.
But he never gets to do much outside of the romance, when he is a half monster....in a show about monster racism, tom was so perfect to be expanded in the show and be apart of the main plot but nah....just use him for starco and dump him to the side for no reason.
He’s so good but he’s so wasted and mistreated throughout and he deserved a better show tbh. He’s one of the few great characters left by the end and not only does he not feel used to his full extent, but the writers betray his character by giving him friends and having him grow...just to watch his only friends constantly abandon and mistreat them for their dumb romance.
he is allowed to grow while they get excused for so many things, some even similar to his mistakes.
he’s wonderful and a highlight of the show but man do they not treat him right.
Favorite moment
i remember Friend-enemies with so much happiness when it aired tbh, it was exactly what i wanted and i love it.
Idea for a story
man, i want more tomco romance, but also more tomstar romance as there are like...NO tomstar fics and it annoys me.
Also stomco.
Also also, if you make fics that insert tom into the monster plot i will love you forever.
Unpopular opinion
tom is a way more appealing love interest then marco and i do not understand for the life of me why ppl treated marco superior when between them tom is not only the better one in a relationship...but he’s willing to improve and actually cares about the people he hurts.
Marco gets over his relationships and the ppl he hurts too easily tbh, it gives the impression they mean little to him.
him and jackie talking in Britta’s tacos felt like the writers wanted to touch on this complaint but i don’t think it works, even tom calls out that marco got over jackie pretty dang easily.
And not to mention kelly....
but no, tom got so crapped on in fanart and at the end of the day, he’s WAY more appealing as a love interest and i feel it’s partially a result of ppl who self insert themselves into marco tbh.
Favorite relationship
on he and marco had the best one, by far, it was so well developed and it’s so frustrating how marco can treat him in later episodes.
tomstar was great too when star wasn’t awful, and would've been a better endgame.
Favorite headcanon
c’mon
you know tom has plushies
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OKAY BUT I WANNA EXPLAIN THE TITLE CAUSE IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE TO ME SO IM GONNA RAMBLE ABOUT IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW also full title is Does cutting an apple into a bunny shape make it taste just as sweet i just kinda forogt the rest of it
SO!! the fic is about Rural Japan in the 1940s right???
here are importan things to note:
-the Hamamotos have an apple orchard and it's like 95% of their income
-Apples are most typically given to sick people to help them get better! It's the same as ' an apple a day keeps the doctor away'
-Apples are cut into little bunny slices for kids because it's cute!!! And also cutting an apple up for someone when they're sick is seen as a very loving gesture
I think there was also smthn about apples tasting sweeter when they're cut into cute shapes but i don't remember
-USAGI YUICHI IS A RABBIT
-HE LIKES APPLES MORE SAVORY/BITTER AND LEO LIKES THEM SWEETER
like there are so many things
ALSOS ALSOA SLO
so the fic is mostly a Leosagi fic or whatever right BUT IT'S ALSO ABOUT NOSTALGIA AND CHILDHOOD AND WISHING YOU COULD JUST GO BACK TO HOW THINGS USED TO BE
When I was brainstorming for the rural au i wanted each of the broas to have their own motivations and goals
Leo wants everything to stay the same. He wants to live on his farm and have fun with his best friend and just exist and be happy.
Raph wants to keep his brothers safe. His goals are entirely family-oriented and he has a lot on his shoulders
Donnie wants to go to college in the city and invent something spectacular. He wants to study human inventions
Mikey wants to travel the world and see everything it has to offer - he also ha sa huge interest in humans. He mostly jsut wants freedom to roam
ughughgugh I am so normal about this au - it's been a while since I've fully rambled abot it but since I'm talking about titles I just thought it was interesitng :)
if ya'll don't know what I'm talking about btw it's the rural au that I sort of made and then got distracted by other aus-
ngl the title asks are EXACTLY what it's like when I write an actual fic LMAO
just with no titles cause I'm so bad at them - I really like writing super long nonsensical titles that may or may not have something to do with the plot :)
( Does Cutting an Apple into A Bunny Shape I AM looking at you)
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like a really big inhale
HAPPY BIRTJDAYYY🎉🎉🎉
i have some thingies to give u :3
FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS THIS LITTLE CARD THAT I GOT ALMOST EVERYONE TO SIGN WHILE U WERE OFFLINE excluding gabe :(( ANYWAY
i even left her a spot. hes there in our hearts
BUT LOOK ASHEIJI BABIES THEYRE SO CUTE
that was so nervewracking btw appreciate my efforts /lh
NEXT THKNG NEEDS A DRUMROLL I WENT ALL OUT ON IT
🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
SAMUUUUUUU🎉🎉🎉
do u see. do u see the pin 👁👁
i didnt feel like coloring but the skk in the corner is so 🥰🥰 babies
LAST THING I HAVE FOR U IS A LETTER THAT. KINDA SPEAKS FOR ITSELF NGL
ASH!!!! ITS UR BIRTHDAYDAYYYYYY how does it feel to be 17?? oldass leaving me behind smh😔 BRUH NEXT THING UR GONNA BE DOING IS PACKING UP FOR COLLEGE AND GETTING MARRIED STOP GROWING UGHHHHHSHDHJSB
anywho <3 i didnt wanna be a sap or homo on ur birthday cuz thats weiiirrdd but WOAHH ilysm. like so so much its unbelievable how amazing of a person you are and i mean that wholeheartedly. our time spent as friends is probably the most amount of fun ive had in YEARS. youre such a sweetheart and youre always around for when i need someone to cry or complain to and. UGHHSHJS YOURE JSUT SO AMAZING TY FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH ME MAN
i am not getting emotional
learning about you and getting to know each other better is something ill never take for granted, so i made u a little dazai drawing as a means of saying thank you. you mean the world to me and as my nominated favorite person 🧍 (thats embarrassing to admit) i feel like you deserve the best birthday EVERRRRRRR!&@*@,!!@;;$,$ if i could bake you something i would, but for now enjoy the little osamu thing i put together like. 4 hours in advance LMAOO
love u so so much as always baby<3
—noah
happy birthday ash🥰 i love you more than anything, hope its a good one love<3
DJDHDJDGDIDHWJWGSISHEIGSJDFWISISGSKSHDKSHDKSHSK🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you sososo much baby i love you so much hehe🥰🥰🥰 dont worry!!! gabe wished me a happy birthday :3 im sorry you miss him though i understand luv</3
TYSM EVERYONE ELSE FOR SIGNING MY CARD THO YALL ARE KITERALLY SO SWEET AND NICE AND😭😭😭😭😭💘💗💞💗💞💗💘💗💕💓💕💗💕💗💞💘💞💕💞💗💞💗💘💗💞💗💞💗💞💗💞
i dont even have. words. for how much i love that drawing bro i just🧍🏻💕💓💞💗💞💕💘💕💗💕💘💞💗💕💗💕💗💕💞💕💘💕💓💘💗💗💗💕💗💕💞💕💘💕💞💕💘💕💞💗💗💗💕💗💗💕💘💕💗💕💘💕💗💕💘💕💗💗💕💗💕💗💕💘💘💗💕💘💕💗💘HES SO CUTE AND EMO AND HISVLITTLE PIN AND AND🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
i love you soso much aslan😭 ur so sweet to me i could never ever ask for a better little brother i love being ur friend and sharing my shitty advice and questionable fics with u. i love u sm nerd🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
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