#it's his world and we're just living in it

[bladeshowers]

The question he posed made her frown as answering would only serve to divulge what was going on in her head. Not answering would just be rude and equally telling. He'd inadvertantly put her in a no-win scenario through no fault of his own. Wistfully, Amara sucked in a lungful of air and released it in a sigh. "I went for someone like my mother," she gestured towards the kitchen, "and my father." This time she gestured towards Themis besides her. The initial comment had made her suddenly very aware of her romantic preferences. Ah well. Something Themis could muse on from his experience as Elidibus no doubt.

"It wasn't so cut and dry or quick with how I fell in with the Scions. Well, it sort of was, I just meant pre-calamity." She left home. Fell in with the wrong crowd. Had a puckish rogue who was actually a Scion fall into her bed. Got her heart broken. So on and so fourth. "I guess I can arrange it once I figure out how to tell them I have two men living with me and we're in a polyamorous relationship. On top of the saving the world thing. Don't think I can skip over that tale with how much people are talking about it."

Which he'd apparently been thinking about as well. "I imagine they are now, yeah," Amara replied, though she'd really only heard it from her father. Her thoughts short circuited again when he said he was proud of her. "You…are?" Her cheeks felt hot for what had to be the first time in a decade. (Maybe Amon had made her blush? If not him, definitely Thancred had…) "I…thank you. Hearing that means a lot. I got into this for the money and power…so I always feel a little undeserving." Amara could definitely use more days of relaxation.

Themis arched a brow at the comment about Garlemald and remained raised at the comment about her mother. There was so much context he was missing, though her assessment about Amon and her mother getting along was….telling. “Does it?” He mused, and then she was moving closer. He shifted to rest his head against hers immediately, welcoming the contact, though he didn’t put his arm around her just yet.

“I see.” He murmured. “Quite the origin story, though I’m sure Hydaelyn would have found something to spur you to action if your life hadn’t. I imagine meeting your family will prove as intriguing as it will be enlightening.”

He smiled. “Now you are so important to so many of this star, and the First as well. Is your family aware of your accomplishments? Are they proud if so? Now that we are no longer adversaries….I believe I can say that I am. You have defied countless odds, you saved the star from the greatest calamity of them all….it is my sincere hope that you can relax from your trials for a time….or at least not deal with anything nearly on the scale of the Final Days again.”

[raekensluver]

MIDNIGHT RIDES - BIKER!LUIGI MANGIONE x FEM!READER

DESCRIPTION: going on a night ride with luigi is one of your favorite pastimes.

CONTAINS: dangerous acts on a motorcycle, oral (fem receiving), luigi cumming in his pants.

w.c: 2.8k

the neon lights of the city flickered in the puddles from the recent rain shower, casting an eerie glow across the asphalt. the air had the scent of wet concrete and exhaust fumes. you sat snugly behind luigi on his sleek motorcycle, feeling the gentle purr of the engine vibrate through your body. the warmth of his back radiated against your chest as you tightened your arms around his waist, your gloved hands resting just above his hips. the red light loomed over the intersection, a silent guard dictating the flow of traffic.

you couldn't help but let your curiosity wander. your fingertips traced the contours of his muscular thighs beneath his jeans. luigi stiffened slightly, but a soft chuckle rumbled from his chest. "what's going on back there?" he asked without looking back, his voice a low murmur over the engine's hum. you giggled in response, your breath warm against the fabric of his shirt. "just enjoying the ride," you said with a playful smile. the light turned green and he revved the engine, but you didn't pull away. instead, you slid your hands upward, under the hem of his shirt, and onto the firmness of his abs.

luigi's grip tightened on the handlebars, the bike wobbling slightly as you continued your exploration. you felt his stomach muscles tense as your hands roamed higher, reaching the base of his ribs. his breathing grew shallower, a subtle sign of his growing discomfort. "hey," he said, half-laughing, half-serious. "keep that up and we're gonna end up on the sidewalk." the light had turned red again, and the world around you had stilled once more. you leaned in closer, your helmet's visor kissing the back of his neck. "i don't know," you murmured. "i like the view from here."

his cheeks flushed a little beneath the cool evening air, the only indication of his rising temperature. "you're really not making it easy for me to focus, you know," he said, his voice strained. the engine's vibrations grew more pronounced as his heart rate increased. you grinned, feeling a thrill at the effect you had on him. "good," you said, your voice a low purr. "i want all your attention."

you felt his abs tighten as you slid your hands around to his back, feeling the taut muscles beneath the fabric of his jacket. the light changed again, but luigi didn't move. "are we just going to sit here?" you asked, a teasing lilt in your voice. "i thought we had somewhere to be?"

his shoulders relaxed slightly and he sighed. "right, sorry," he said, before turning the throttle and peeling out of the intersection. you gripped his thighs tightly as the bike surged forward, the wind rushing past your ears like a symphony of freedom. the city lights streaked by in a blur of color, reflecting in the puddles like a disco ball had shattered on the street. luigi leaned into the turns, his body moving in sync with the bike, your heart racing to keep up with the rhythm of the engine.

the feeling of his thighs beneath your palms was exhilarating, the power of the motorcycle seemingly transferring to your fingertips. as you gripped tighter, luigi's muscles flexed, responding to the pressure. it was like holding onto a living, breathing creature, one that thrummed with life and strength. each shift in gears sent a jolt of excitement through your body, making you feel more alive than ever before.

you slid your hands up to his biceps, giving them a gentle squeeze. luigi's shoulders hunched slightly, and you felt his tension spike. "you're gonna make me lose control," he warned, but his voice was tinged with amusement. "i trust you," you whispered, nuzzling his neck. your breath was hot, a stark contrast to the cool air rushing past. he chuckled again, the sound low and deep, sending a shiver down your spine.

the city streets grew quieter as you ventured further into the night. the buildings grew taller, their lights casting long shadows that danced with the bike's headlight. the air grew crisper, hinting at the approaching winter. the chill didn't bother you, though, not with luigi's warmth surrounding you. you leaned in closer, pressing your chest against his back, your hands now resting on the tops of his arms. the bike's vibrations grew more intense as he picked up speed, the thrumming a delicious reminder of the power beneath you.

finally, luigi pulled over to the side of the road, the engine sputtering to a halt. the silence was deafening after the constant roar of the motor. you slipped off the bike, your legs wobbly from the adrenaline rush. "what's up?" you asked, a smile playing on your lips as you both pulled off your helmets, letting your hair cascade down your back. he turned to face you, his eyes dark with something unspoken. "i need a break," he said, his voice gruff.

you took a step closer, placing your hand on his arm. "are you okay?" you asked, genuine concern lacing your voice. he took a deep breath, his eyes searching yours. "yeah," he murmured. "but you're driving me crazy." a soft laugh escaped your lips, and you leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. "sorry," you whispered, not really meaning it.

luigi stepped closer, closing the space between you. his eyes searched yours for a moment, before he leaned down and captured your mouth in a fiery kiss. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you tight against his body. your hands found their way into his hair, the strands damp from the misty night. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you standing under the flickering streetlight.

his kiss grew more demanding, and you felt your body respond in kind. your heart pounded in your chest, the throb of the engine still resonating in your bones. the coolness of the metal bike frame pressed into your side, a stark contrast to the heat emanating from luigi's embrace. the scent of engine oil mingled with the sweet aroma of his cologne, creating a heady mix that made you dizzy with desire.

finally, he pulled back, his breath coming in short gasps. "behave," he murmured, his voice hoarse. "and i'll give you what you want." his eyes searched yours, a promise and a challenge all rolled into one. you bit your bottom lip, nodding slowly. "okay," you whispered, your voice barely audible.

without another word, luigi grabbed your helmet from the handlebars and placed it back over your head, the cool plastic a stark contrast to your flushed cheeks. his hands lingered for a moment, adjusting the strap, his fingers brushing against your skin. you felt a sudden thrill at his assertiveness, a side of him you don't see much of. "let's go," he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. you climbed back onto the bike, your legs straddling the seat, and wrapped your arms around his waist once more.

the ride back to your townhouse was a blur of neon lights and the occasional streetlamp. luigi's focus was intense, his eyes never leaving the road ahead. every so often, you'd feel his abs tighten against your grip, a silent acknowledgment of the tension that still crackled between you. your hands remained on his thighs, but you didn't push any further, content to simply feel the warmth of his skin through his jeans.

as the bike pulled into the driveway, you felt a sense of anticipation building in the pit of your stomach. luigi killed the engine and swung his leg over the side, helping you off the bike. the moment your feet hit the ground, he turned to face you, his eyes dark and smoldering. without a word, he took your hand and led you up the stairs, the sound of your boots echoing through the quiet night.

once inside, he reached up and unbuckled your helmet, lifting it off with surprising gentleness. you felt a sense of vulnerability without the barrier between you, but also a thrill at the intimacy of the gesture. luigi's eyes never left yours as he placed the helmet on the coat rack by the door. his own helmet followed, the clunk of it hitting the wooden floor echoing through the hallway.

his hand found yours, and he led you to the living room, the warm glow of the lamp casting shadows across the floorboards. the couch beckoned, a cozy sanctuary in the chilly night. without breaking eye contact, luigi sat down, pulling you onto his lap. the heat of his body was like a warm embrace, and you melted into it, feeling your own desire flame brighter with every beat of your heart.

his hands moved to the zipper of your jacket, tugging it down slowly, revealing the soft fabric of your shirt beneath. his fingertips traced the line of your collarbone, sending shivers down your spine. the air in the room felt thick with unspoken words and unexplored feelings. you leaned in, capturing his mouth in another kiss, this one slower, deeper. your tongues danced together, a silent conversation that spoke of passion and yearning.

luigi's hands grew more confident, slipping beneath the material of your shirt to caress your bare skin. the touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure through your body. with a sudden decisiveness, he pulled the shirt over your head, breaking the kiss just long enough to discard it onto the floor. his eyes roamed over your torso, drinking in the sight of your curves, your skin flushed from the cold and excitement.

his hands moved to the laces of your boots, deftly untying them and tugging them off one by one. the feel of his warm, calloused hands against your ankles was heavenly, sending a thrill up your legs. you shivered slightly, and he looked up with a question in his eyes. "are you cold?" he murmured, his voice thick with want. "no," you replied, your voice a whisper. "i just want you."

his gaze held yours for a moment longer before dropping to your waist, where his hands began to work on the button of your jeans. the denim felt tight, constricting, as if the fabric itself was eager to be removed. with a pop, the button was freed, and luigi slid the zipper down with torturous slowness. the anticipation was palpable, a silent crescendo building between the two of you.

once your jeans were undone, luigi's hands slid inside, cupping your hips, his thumbs teasing the sensitive skin of your stomach. your breath hitched as he began to peel the fabric down, exposing your legs to the cool air. his eyes never left yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race even faster. you could see the desire in his eyes, the hunger that matched your own.

his hands moved to your back, unclasping your bra with a practiced ease that spoke of familiarity. it slipped off your shoulders, and you shrugged it away, feeling the weight of it fall away. your breasts pressed against his chest, the fabric of his shirt a thin barrier to the warmth of his skin. his thumbs grazed your nipples, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through your body. you gasped, arching into his touch.

his hands moved to the waistband of your underwear, hooking his fingers into the fabric and pulling it down with your jeans. your legs were bare now, the soft skin of your thighs exposed to the cool air. luigi's eyes never left yours as he removed the last of your clothing, his gaze a mix of desire and something else, something deeper that made you quiver.

he slid you off his lap, standing in front of you as you stepped out of your jeans and underwear. your legs felt wobbly, but you didn't need to stand for long. with a gentle tug, he guided you back onto the couch, this time with your legs spread wide open for him. the fabric of the couch was rough against the back of your thighs, but it was a delicious contrast to the softness of the cushions beneath you.

luigi knelt before you, his eyes never leaving yours. his hands rested on your thighs, the warmth of his palms sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine. slowly, so achingly slowly, he leaned forward, his breath hot against your skin. you felt his nose nuzzle the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh before his lips followed, placing a soft, lingering kiss just above your knee. your body quivered in response, your heart racing with anticipation.

his kisses grew bolder, moving upward, each one sending a shiver through your core. the anticipation was almost too much to bear as he approached your center. when his mouth finally found your clit, it was like a bolt of lightning had struck you. the sensation was intense, the gentle pressure of his lips against the sensitive bud sending waves of pleasure crashing over you. you moaned, your hips bucking upward involuntarily.

his nose rested against your clit as he explored you with his tongue, delving into your folds with a hunger that left you breathless. the warmth of his breath was a stark contrast to the coolness of the room, sending goosebumps racing across your skin. your fingernails dug into the couch cushions as he lapped at you, the rhythm of his movements matching the pounding of your pulse. your eyes rolled back in your head, lost in the symphony of sensation.

his hands gripped your hips, holding you in place as he worked his magic. you felt your body begin to tighten, the tension coiling like a spring deep within you. your breathing grew ragged, your chest heaving with every gasp. "luigi," you moaned, his name a prayer on your lips. he responded by increasing his pace, his tongue flicking against your clit with an expert touch that had you seeing stars.

his eyes flicked up to meet yours, a smoldering intensity in their depths. you could see his own desire mirrored in the dark orbs, his own need growing with every passing moment. and then, as if unable to resist any longer, luigi's body tensed, and he ground his hips against the couch cushions. you watched, mesmerized, as he gave in to the pleasure you were giving him, his own need evident in the way he moved.

his teeth gritted as he fought for control, his eyes never leaving yours. the fabric of his pants grew tight against his erection, the outline clear and unmistakable. the friction from the couch cushions must have been driving him wild, because you could see his body strain with each movement, his thighs flexing as he sought release. the sight of him like this, so raw and unbridled, only served to stoke your own passion.

you reached down, your hand sliding over his shoulder to the back of his head, urging him closer, your legs shaking. "yes," you panted, the word barely audible. "just like that." luigi's eyes darkened, and he took the hint, his mouth working more fervently against your clit, his tongue swirling in a pattern that had you teetering on the edge. your toes curled, the tension in your body reaching a crescendo that threatened to shatter you.

suddenly, it was too much, and you were falling, the world around you dissolving into a sea of white-hot pleasure. your nails dug into his shoulders, your hips bucking against his mouth as you cried out his name. the orgasm washed over you in waves, leaving you boneless and trembling. luigi didn't stop, though, continuing to kiss and nip at your sensitive flesh, drawing out every last bit of ecstasy until you were a puddle of satisfaction.

as the spasms of pleasure began to subside, you felt a shift in his posture. his breathing grew more ragged, and his grip on your thighs tightened. then, it happened. a muffled groan vibrated against your skin as luigi's body tensed, his hips jerking. you watched with a mix of fascination and desire as he came in his pants, the fabric straining against his erection. the sight of him losing control was more intoxicating than any alcohol could ever be.

his eyes snapped shut, and he remained there for a moment, his forehead resting against your thighs. his chest heaved with each ragged breath, the sound a testament to his restraint. finally, he sat back on his heels, his eyes opening to meet yours. "i'm sorry," he murmured, his voice thick with passion and regret. "i couldn't… i just needed…"

you reached out, placing a hand on his cheek. "it's okay," you assured him, your voice soft. "i liked watching you." a hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth, and he leaned into your touch, his eyes searching yours. the air between you was charged with something unspoken, a silent understanding.

[nellielsss]

⋆꙳•❅‧₊⋆☃︎‧ Cԋɾιʂƚɱαʂ αƚ ƚԋҽ Fυʂԋιɠυɾσʂ!

Summary: It's Christmas-time at the Fushiguro household! Although not all the members of the house have the best impression of the holiday, everything is still merry and bright--no thanks to your grump of a husband and even more grump of a son... Ft: Toji Fushiguro & Megumi Fushiguro (reader is Mamaguro) Note: I am so incredibly sorry for going missing for months!! College A. Kicked my ass majorly, and B. made me extremely depressed, but we're back! ... for now. CW: light religious imagery, nothing too major! Pure fluff (I'm way too tired to do smutmas...)

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆ Toji never truly gave two shits about Christmas. The Zen'in Clan was anything but merry and bright, and until you and Megumi came into his life, he saw no reason to celebrate the holiday--that, and it was technically a christian holiday, and god knows Toji wasn't no saint who deserved presents.

Those were the two reasons he gave when it came to not celebrating Christmas, but there was a deeper, more painful reason that he wasn't fond of sharing...

Christmas reminded him of everything he didn't have.

He didn't have a loving family, he didn't have a warm home to decorate for Christmas, and he never had enough money to even buy gifts to begin with. He never had more than $100 in his checking account until he got a wife and a kid, even with all the money he earned from being a highly paid assassin. He also hasn't seen his family since he was 18 and was free of their legal guardianship, so suffice to say: he didn't give two shits about Christmas.

And that was where you came in!

Christmas was probably one of the best holidays in the whole entire world for you. It was fun and bright, always full of love and laughter and general excitement for you. Even if not every Christmas was great, you still did the best you could year round.

When Toji saw you decorating the giant tree that you'd (miraculously) set up all by yourself in the living room, he nearly spit out his drink. What the hell was an 8-foot pine tree doing in his living room? But when he saw the joy and excitement on your face, and Megumi's little hands playing with the ornaments you were going to put up, he bit his tongue.

Eh, sure, why not? Let the wife have her fun. Happy wife, happy life. What he didn't expect was for the antics to ramp up with every passing year.

Each year, the decorations would become bigger and better. There were more ornaments on the trees, more candles lit, more nutcrackers, more garland--more everything. It was like Hallmark came and threw up in your home and left. He knew he was in too deep when you swapped out the bedsheets for Christmas sheets.

He couldn't lie; he was also starting to go all out himself, at least on the presents. He found himself hitting up his handler, Shiu, for more jobs so that he could get Megumi and his little wife the stuff that they deserved. He'd never been showered in anything but hatred and disgust his entire life, and he'd be damned if his son went through the same shit he did.

Which is what led to Christmas morning, when said wife and said son were opening what they got.

"Look what Santa got you!" you chirped, handing a box to little 5-year old Megumi, who was trying to keep his best nonchalant grimace on his face (don't mind him--he's just going through an angsty teen phase).

"You don't have to say it was Santa, mom, I know it was you and dad," he answered while opening it.

That made you deadpan and go "ehh?" while looking at Toji. "Did that little punk from your homeroom say something to you again? Is he putting these ideas in your head?"

"Nah," he answered, opening up the stack of books that he was currently into. "It's hard not to confuse reindeers for dad's heavy footsteps, but I know reindeers wouldn't survive the Tokyo traffic."

"Hey, watch it, punk," Toji grumbled, reaching out to rub his knuckles into Megumi's head, making him whine and fuss.

Despite your son knowing that Santa Claus is, in fact, his mom and his dad, the little scene made you smile and laugh. You even reached out to take a photo of the little interaction between the two of them and save it for later. "Just hurry up and unwrap your presents, Toji. Let's see if daddy ended up with coal, hmm?" You teased, handing him a box with a smile on your pretty face.

"Yeah, I wonder what Santa got me," Toji said jokingly. His big hands effortlessly ripped off the pretty wrapping paper you so carefully wrapped, and he was met with the name "Rolex" staring back at him. His smile dropped for a second in shock, and he touched the wooden box as if it didn't truly exist. "Babe, you didn't have to-"

"Now I know you've got simple tastes, and I know you're a simple guy, but try it on! I'm sure you'll love it. Besides, I got a raise at work," you encouraged with a wink.

Toji opened the wooden box to see a beautiful silver Rolex watch with a green dial--perfectly matching his green eyes.

He was speechless for a second, earning a proud smile from your part. "I outdid myself, didn't I?" you giggled proudly.

"This is... I've never had somethin' like this before," he said, taking the watch out of the box. "Thank you so much, babe--this means so much to me."

"It's no problem- oof!" He cut you off by wrapping his big arms around your waist and pulling you in, all but squeezing you to death. He then put a kiss on your face and let go of you slightly. "It's n-no problem, really... although... those hugs of yours will give me problems."

Toji simply chuckled and handed you a box as well. "Now it's my turn to spoil my pretty wife," he retorted with a confident grin on his face.

His ogre of a dad calling his princess of a mom his 'pretty wife' earned a sideways grimace from Megumi while he flipped through his books, but he didn't say anything.

"I wonder what Santa got me," you wondered, mimicking his earlier words. You eagerly unwrapped the bow, took off the wrapping paper, and the words "Louis Vuitton" stuck out to you. "Toji, this is..."

"Yup," he said with a cheeky grin, puffing his chest out proudly. "Saw you eyein' this bag like it was your last meal, figured that meant you wanted it."

You slid the top off the box and gasped in excitement and childlike wonder. 6 years into your marriage, and you were still the same girly and excitable woman he first met. "Oh my god, a rainbow Louis!" You held it up with both hands and eyed it like it was, in fact, your last meal.

It was a black multicolor Louis Vuitton Alma bag, complete with a Hello Kitty keychain (that he took the liberty of picking out for you). "Oh, Toji!" You threw your arms around his neck and all but tackled him off the couch, and you pressed kisses all over his stubbled face. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love it so much!"

Toji grinned from ear-to-ear and simply patted you on the back while chuckling deeply. "Hey, only the best for my girl."

While you pressed kisses all over his face and hugged him tightly, Megumi looked over and grimaced once again. "Get a room, you two. And get off my mom, you ogre."

"Aw, shut yer trap, ya little grinch," Toji reached out and pulled his son into the hug, both arms wrapped around his beloveds. "I'll be damned if someone interrupts my time with either of you."

Despite Megumi's growing complaints and whines about wanting to be let go, you couldn't stop yourself from smiling and hugging Megumi as well. "Is my little Gumi mad about getting some hugs?" You asked the little boy, making him sigh dramatically and give up. He begrudgingly hugged the both of you, and he couldn't lie--getting a hug like this wasn't so bad. Not that the little sea urchin would ever admit that, of course. He had a reputation to uphold.

Looking up from his hug and loosening his grip on the both of you, he looked around at everything in the room, at the life he built for himself. He had a cozy home, presents under the tree, a beautiful wife and an amazing son. Toji truly was a simple man at heart, because this was all he needed.

"This is all a man needs to be happy," he muttered to himself with a slight smile decorating his face.

Christmas might've been rough for Toji growing up, but those days were behind him. Now, he had his loving family, and that was all a man needed to be happy.

© nellielsss on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 12/26/2024

[karuuhnia]

TF2 Chapter 7 - Karuuhnia's analysis

Christmas came early for the TF2 fandom this year, didn't it? (Well, it really came 7 years LATE if we're completely honest lol)

It was an emotional rollercoaster and had a happy, wholesome ending and conclusion for both the mercs and for us. Several mysteries from the past comics were resolved.

And you know me: I love to overthink and overanalyze every bit of lore and story that I can get my fingers on lmao

So here's my essay:

A) Solved mysteries

1. What the Administrator was planning

It turns out: There WAS no evil plan of world domination or whatever. Just pure hatred for a man who ruined her life - apparently. It's been so long she doesn't even remember the reason. But the thought of revenge was enough to fuel her every life choice.

And to think, it all could have ended in the 1850s already - if it weren't for smart-ass Gray Mann and his narcissistic tendencies to brag about his knowledge and plans. (How he himself figured this out is never explained.)

He was the one who introduced the Administrator to Australium in the first place, around 1850ish. If he hadn't told her that it could bring people back from the dead and prolong life, the senseless Gravel War would have ended with Blutarch's and Redmond's natural deaths.

Well, on the other hand we must be glad that the conflict didn't go on even longer.

Since Dell stated that none of his family members ever went into the room where Zepheniah was kept, the Administrator must have build all of that herself, right? That would certainly explain why it looks so crude and consumes so much Australium. I mean, look at this construction and then compare it to the one Dell built:

The Mark 5 machine gave her ~6 months of life for just a tiny flask of Australium. Imagine what would have happened if one of the Conaghers had improved Zeph's machine as well! She could have kept the zombiefied corpse in a living nightmare for many centuries more instead of burning through tons and tons of Australium so quickly. Good thing it didn't come to that.

2. Who helped the Administrator

Well, we didn't get a clear answer, but I think it's safe to conclude now that it was the Administrator's elite merc teams A-E that obtained all the Australium during the 6 months Miss Pauling and the TF2 team went off the grid. Which only further proves that the Administrator did not really care for Pauling at all and only came to her and her "team of rejects" as a last resort, after everything else had failed.

It's really heartbreaking how much Pauling admired her and wanted to be her trusted second-in-command while the Admin apparently never even invited her to the secret HQ. Nobody there even KNEW of Team Fortress after all. It was such a relief to see Pauling let go in the end and choose a free life instead.

3. Scout's second chance

Well, not really a mystery here, but I really like how Scout had an epiphany that there were other girls out there that would like him as he was and moved on from Miss Pauling. There was no heartbreak, no animosity, no rejection. They are still friends and support each other! I love it!

And then Scout even saved all of humanity by having sex with several women so that God wouldn't have to destroy the world! What a great, selfless guy he is!

I really love Spy and Scout after the time skip. No more bickering, no more annoyance, no more mean comments, just kindness. Spy is also so sweet to his grandchildren! ADSGFSDAF

I hope they all remain in contact and on good terms. Because let's not forget: Scout's health isn't good and he even has a confirmed death date. Which is only 8 years into the future of 1979.

All of his orphaned children would still be minors at that point. When it comes to that I hope Spy and Scout's Ma can take care of their grandchildren.

4. What Charles Darling and Maggie were planning

Darling stated he wanted to obtain Australium in order to make his rare animals immortal and in return he would get Saxton's company back.

The way Maggie always reacted to Saxton led me to believe she knew Darling was planning something ELSE and she felt bad for not telling Saxton and having to betray him in the end:

But turns out, I probably just misinterpreted Maggie's facial expressions. She looked so sad because she loved going on adventures with Saxton again and just hated the thought that he'd go back to Mann Co. afterwards.

I'm very happy that in the end Saxton let go of the company and spent the rest of his days punching wild animals with his true love! (Although he might have started a war again, now between Reddy and Bidwell lol)

B) Unsolved and new mysteries

However, as much as I loved the last chapter, I feel there are still a lot of things that were never cleared up or adequately explained.

So after re-reading every single comic and update page these are some other things I still find inconclusive:

1. Olivia Mann's mother

Not really that important to be fair, but still: Is she really the biological daughter of the 150 old mummy Gray Mann? If so, who is the poor woman who… mated with him and where is she now?

Or was Olivia adopted, abducted or grown in a lab? Well, at least she gets to live a happy and free life now and is provided for by the dad who stepped up. Good on you, Saxton!

2. Darling's knowledge

Back to Darling real quick: Why DID Maggie start working for her nemesis?

HOW did Charles Darling learn about Australium's properties and the Administrator's history?

There is also the fact that the Mann triplets' mother was a Darling!

These things were never brought up again! Whyyyyyyyy?????

3. What was all the set-up with the TFC mercs about?

The TFC mercs made several ominous remarks that made us believe there was more to them:

Both Virgil and Greg were trying to say something interesting, but then got cut off before the revelation. And especially TFC Heavy talked about dying as if it was an immediate danger to all of them. Sure, they were old, but they were still going strong, being able to kill all of the Admin's elite teams after all.

4. Fred's destiny (and identity?)

In Chapter 6 Spy disguised as Fred, trying to trick Virgil. After being found out, the two had this conversation:

Spy managed to impersonate Fred really well apparently. That means he must have studied Fred's personality, mannerisms and way of speaking before he went to Virgil. That also means he must have spent quite a while talking to and studying Fred. Did he and Sniper capture and interrogate him? But more importantly: What happened afterwards? Tbh, they probably just killed him off-screen after learning what they needed.

Because I no longer believe that Fred was Dell's father, as much as that sucks. It would have made for a great plot point and possible conflict within the team.

But Fred obviously had no idea about anything related to Australium or the immortality machines.

Since later on in Chapter 7 Dell says that neither his grandfather, his father nor he himself ever set foot in that basement, we can conclude that they all knew that the Administrator was hiding something nefarious down there. Which also means they WORKED for her and thus must have also worked on her immortality machine. So it makes no sense that Fred would not know anything about that if he really were Dell's father.

That still leaves us with the question: Why was young Fred in the photo with child Dell? Or WAS this guy even Fred?

I mean, a lot can happen in 40ish years between those two pictures:

But my new headcanon now is: These two are not the same person. TFC Medic had to replaced by our beloved Dr. Herbert Ludwig (still not over that name btw lmao), so who says the original TFC Engie wasn't replaced too at one point? TFC Heavy was very obviously worried about his friends dying one after the other.

Virgil said he knew Fred since before the war. So maybe after Dell's father died/left the team, Virgil told TFC Heavy about his old comrade Fred who also happened to be an Engineer. And only then Fred became part of TFC.

But as I said, that's just my headcanon. In reality it's probably just an inconsistency over the many years of convoluted lore. lol

5. Soldier's cave, covered in Australium

In A Cold Day in Hell Soldier and Zhanna have the following conversation:

First it's a stink-barn, then he claims to be homeless. But in Chapter 7 Heavy suddenly says that Soldier lives in a cave.

And it turns out there is tons of Australium in that cave! Now of course I wonder: When did Soldier move into that cave and where is it located? We were always told that Australium only exists in Australia. But I highly doubt this American patriot owns a cave in Australia. Also, how is it possible that the Admin and the elite mercs never managed to find this cave? Did they just not bother to look in America because all known Australium is in Australia?

So in return, does that mean that Australium is NOT exclusive to Australia after all? If so, there could still be hidden caches of the stuff anywhere on Earth. At least the Admin and Gray Mann are no longer around to collect it and Miss Pauling does not look for it anymore either. The only one who still has an interest in it is Charles Darling. Him again...

6. Soldier with the photo of the Mann family

Quick reminder: This is the only version of the family photo we'd seen up until this point:

But when Soldier and Merasmus are held by the mafia and the wizard asks him why he needed so much money, Soldier pulls out an intact, unteared photograph of the Mann family!!!

His thumb conveniently covers up the still unknown person standing in the middle. How did Soldier obtain this photo? How does he even know who everyone is, considering he's, well, Soldier?

Could he have any relations to the unknown person in the middle? And why DOES he need so much money (granted, it was only like 20 $ in the end, but still lol)?

Am I just overthinking this? Has anyone an explanation??? Is he and if yes, HOW is Soldier connected to the frigging Mann family??????

*cough* Anyway. This concludes my analysis of the TF2 lore. For now. If I come up with more things or if Valve ever decides to continue the story (That was a joke, haha, fat chance), I will come back to this. In the meantime, thank you for reading this and please feel free to share your own ideas and opinions! I'd love to read all of it! ❤️

[kanhotep]

I think the problem is that it's not an inherently right or wrong situation.

Stolas:

Yes, he made a lot of mistakes. But he was also in an abusive marriage and never had much agency over his own life. He is allowed to want something for himself. He is allowed to love Blitz. And he never chose Blitz over Via.

From Via's perspective it looks like that and I absolutely understand where she's coming from. But I think from Stola's perspective it was never either Blitz or Via.

He saw Blitz in danger and he knew that he could not live without him. He would have tried for Via. But in the end it would be exactly how Andrealphus prophesied: Blitz's death would have broken Stolas.

If it had been Via's life in danger, he wouldn't have come in there and sang a song trying to take the blame.

He would have gone in there in blazing fury, full demonic form and killed anyone who tried to come between him and his daughter.

Because if Blitz's death would have broken him, Via's death would destroy him.

So yes, Via is angry and it comes from an understable place. But Stolas isn't the villain in that story.

He is flawed and imperfect but he loves her and he never saw Via as an obligation but as a gift. But the seventeen year old doesn't understand that there is a difference between doing things because of someone and for someone.

Lucifer:

Much more complicated matter which is not at all helped by the fact that Charlie is a grown woman and therefore more responsible for her relationship with her father than a teenager is.

All in all, the biggest problem with their relationship is that we're missing a lot of facts.

We don't know when Lucifer and Lilith split up, we don't know what the custody arrangement between them was, we don't know if Lilith had grown resentful of her husband, heck we don't even know if Lilith was Lilith all the time or if Eve dropped in from time to time (necklace theory).

What we do know is this:

Lucifer called Charlie more or less regularly (when he wants something from her)

Charlie never invited Lucifer over [maybe more of a presumption than a fact, but heavily implied]

Lucifer desperately wants to be in Charlie's life

Charlie believes there is something inherently good in every sinner, Lucifer believed the opposite

And following that Charlie sees the Sinners as her people while Lucifer hates them for wasting his gift

The last two points seem to be the greatest point of conflict between them and again, there is no wrong in this.

Lucifer gave mankind free will because he thought he would free them and give them the chance to create, to hope, to live.

But all he ever saw was destruction, despair and death.

He saw the invention of more and more weapons that killed more people in more brutal ways. He saw the invention of biological warfare.

He probably met the hitlist of history's greatest monsters.

And he never saw the opposite. Never saw the architectural wonders we've constructed, never saw how we helped each other, didn't hear of the stories of goodness and hope and joy that is in the world.

After all, who would have told them to the devil?

Still he tried to make it better (or so he says) but nothing stuck. It all just kept getting worse and worse.

And now his little girl is trying what he had already failed to do. Tries to help those souls that he believed to be only capable of hatred and destruction. Asks him to go to heaven.

Heaven. The place that once was his home. The place where the people live he once called family. The people that ripped of his wings and threw away his halo before tossing him, the Morningstar, the lightbringer, into the endless dark. Banishing him and never looking back.

Lucifer saw his child, the most important thing in his life, probably the only good thing he has left, trying to step into his footsteps. Footsteps he knows lead right down a cliff.

Charlie accuses him of not believing in her and to an extent she is right of course. Lucifer does not believe she can achieve her goal.

But it's not because he doesn't believe in Charlie. It's because he doesn't believe in her goal.

Which is an important difference.

And honestly? I don't think he believes in that goal right up until the Finale.

The only thing the song reminds him of, is that Charlie is a strong and wonderful person and she needs to make her own experiences. She needs to at least try. Not only for the Sinners but also for herself.

And he didn't want her to try because he was to afraid for her to fail. For her to be hurt like he was. But Charlie's not him and maybe she's stronger than he ever was.

So he let's her.

Only when she goes and does the impossible, gets a bunch of Sinners to make a stand for a common goal - to work together, fight together, die together - only then does he see that he was wrong. That her goal is not impossible, that his little girl was right and now that he knows that there is good in Sinners left, he supports her wholeheartedly.

Which is why I am absolutely expecting their relationship to drastically improve.

Of course there is a lot more to their relationship than that, a lot more to unpack, but I'm not going to dive into it now because it's mostly guesswork.

Anyways, long story short: The reason why some people hate on Via and Charlie is the same reason why some people absolutely despise Stolas and Lucifer and consider them the worst dads ever: Because their relationships are incredibly complicated and not black and white.

And honestly, isn't that what Hazbin Hotel is all about?

Remind me again why this fandom is so pissy that these two are reasonably upset about their dads’ negligence?

[mikansei]

from the trailblazer's perspective:

we met some weird guy who wears a statue on his head, who was kind of a dick to us, but then we went on a little entomological field trip where he was oddly encouraging. surprisingly nice to us afterward for all that he literally interrogated us first. but herta runs around as a doll and we're plenty weird ourselves, so dr. ratio is whatever, i guess. we probably think of him as "that weirdo who was on the herta space station once," which is an association i'm sure he'd hate - but hey, at least we don't call him "scholar king."

from the trailblazer's perspective:

we met some flashy IPC guy because we accidentally held him up in line at the hotel check-in, himeko tried to negotiate and it turns out he's a professional cutthroat negotiator, but it all worked out and he gave us his fancy room. he also loomed over us with freaky glowing eyes and maybe threatened us, but it was kinda vague and it's not like he really hurt us. well... until he did. the trailblazer gets the opportunity to be verbally sore about that, but the fight didn't really feel like cocolia, like phantylia; like aventurine had gone mad and wanted to take over and/or destroy the world. his grandstanding didn't make any sense to us at the time, though, and fighting him sucked ass. but we lived and - as we found out eventually - so did he.

then the trailblazer boards the radiant feldspar, and we see aventurine's hologram talking with ...boothill? okay. who explicitly says they're working out some kind of shady underhanded deal to find oswaldo schneider which, subtlety thy name is not boothill, but that's none of our business i guess. but aventurine's there(-ish) and alive and not cackling mad, which is an improvement.

then we go into the next room over and see that herta space station weirdo, dr. ratio.

huh???

and the first thing he says to us is "no wonder that gambler likes you so much."

huh???????

everything about this is news to the trailblazer. since when is dr. ratio not only on penacony, but in the dreamscape, aboard the exclusive invitation-only dream cruise ship? since when does he not only know of aventurine, but was apparently on this mission with him? since when does aventurine like us??? we just got done mutually trying to kill each other! his hologram didn't seem sore about it, which is great for us, but doesn't exactly translate into "like!"

why are we hearing this from him and not aventurine? why does he know aventurine's thoughts on us in the first place?

dr. ratio really just shows up, yaps about aventurine unprompted, recommends us reading material, complains about the crowd and then is like "k i'm done here. ur dismissed."

the trailblazer had bigger things to think about but i, the player, do not. the fandom at large may feel like 2.3 fell flat, but the fall of the roman empire is still within the wheelhouse of my roman empire. i never left the radiant feldspar. i am still aboard this fucking ship.

[kookochan]

End Of Time

They were dancing under the rain, knowing it wouldn't last forever. Memories were collected and hearts were stolen. Maybe it was never about the rain.

Summary: What if an exchange student changes your whole life, and you're scared of the day he needs to turn back? +18

 

 exchange student jungkook x fem!reader

 

warnings/content: violence (slap), mention of blood, sexual content (loss of virginity, unprotected sex - don't be stupid!), family issues, alcohol, angst, fluffy love TT

wc: 17,3k

 ˚₊✩‧₊2024˚₊✩‧₊

 

"We are really happy to have you guys here. The atmosphere in the team is also awesome!"

 

The interviewer has a soft smile while saying so. They have been sitting here for only ten minutes, and more than half of the time is already over. Her eyes turn to the more introverted person in the room.

 

"Jungkook, you are one of the best players this season. We talked about your career a lot, but you're the only one who isn't sharing his personal life. Like a relationship, for example. Or your first love!"

 

"Firstly, thank you for the compliment. And yeah, first love and all that-" he says with a polite smile. His mind is going back to a time when he met you for the first time. "I like to keep things in my own little world. That's why I'm not sharing a lot about it."

 

Jungkook is praying that the interviewer wouldn't ask any further questions. Today he is lucky, and the topic changes; all the attention goes to someone else. He is safe, and for a moment he is thinking back to the old times. 

 

˚₊✩‧₊2014˚₊✩‧₊

 

It was a Monday, and you hate the first day of the week. Today should be a little better than the other days because some of the new exchange students were coming. The teacher gave you the job to assist them on the first day. Her reasoning: You were the class representative. You don't know how you managed to be one, but you liked your job.

 

"Yn"

 

You turn around to see which of your annoying friends was calling for you, only to be met with Tae. "What do you want?! It's not even 9 a.m. Let me live!" You say annoyed that he caught you that early.

 

"Calm down, dude. I saw some of the exchange students already. Some of the ladies said one of them is hot. We're lucky to be with them on the first day. Do you have a plan for the day?" He informs you while walking to the class. You don't know how he managed to get all this information. He is always the last one to come to school. It looks like he is excited about the whole situation. You don't want to lie; you are also curious about the newbies. They will be in your class for only 6 months, but maybe you will have a chance to make new friends. The exchange students from last year were two girls who just came to bully others, so it was no fun. But this time it sounds like some of them are also good-looking? You need to check on that.

 

"Hmm, it would be a lie when I say I planned something. Isn't it too strict anyway? Let's just show them the school and eat together. That should be enough for the first day," you say while thinking of other options just in case he isn't agreeing with you. You turn to Tae to see if he has anything to say, but he just nods. "And did you really come here that early to get all the information?"

 

"Nah, I forgot my book and needed to do the homework. So I came a little earlier today. I can already feel the missing 2 hours of sleep," he makes a crying face. You roll your eyes and laugh. "Did you see Jiho or Jia?". "Nope."

 

—

 

"It's getting awkward standing here and waiting for them," Jia says with an annoyed noise. The whole class was waiting for the home teacher to come and introduce the new students. But the whole process was taking longer than expected.

 

After fifteen minutes, you could hear the teacher coming while talking to the students. She didn't introduce them but started talking about important things and the school. Your eyes wander to the two boys standing next to her. And yes, you do know who the girls were calling hot. You could feel his charm, and now the whole situation is more fun for you.

 

—

 

Jungkook is happy to be with you and your friend group. At first he was scared if he could make new friends, and if not, he would be depressed for six months. You guys were hanging out during the school day and sometimes after that. He is also happy that Eun could find friends. For him, Eun is also a nice friend, but he knows that they're opposite personalities. Anyway, the first four weeks were comfortable for him, so he hopes that the rest of the time will be like that too.

 

It was early in the morning, and he was walking to school. Looking around, he notices that you're walking to the subway station. He runs towards you. "Good morning. Caught you!". You jump a little, holding your chest. "Why are you coming like that?!" you point a finger at him. He only laughs at your cute attitude. "Oh, come on, why are you acting like you saw a monster or something? That breaks my heart," he says dramatically. You roll your eyes. "We are getting late, so hurry up!". You can see his pout when you make faster steps.

 

He is fast getting into the tram, and he is holding a seat for you too. You sit between him and the window—the seat he was reserving for you. He smiles and looks around. "Are you coming today? Tae asked to hang out near the beach and grab some beer in the group chat. I didn't see your reply."

 

"Oh, I saw the messages in the morning, so I couldn't reply. But yes, I am in."

 

"Okay, that's nice to hear!" he says while smiling. No, he doesn't know why he gets so giddy when you're around. He is throwing away all the complicated thoughts. He only knows you for like four weeks. He needs to calm down.

 

—

 

The school day was kind of stressful. You got your test results, way lower than expected. You did learn weeks before, and you were confident that you could make it. Okay, it would be a lie to say you would nail it because math is not your strongest subject. Knowing nothing will ever help you understand it makes you feel down. Now you're walking with your friends and Jungkook to the convenience store to grab some snacks and drinks. It feels suffocating; you would rather go home and, you don't know, learn more?

 

Jungkook can see the little cloud above your head, so he walks a little faster to get to you. You are in your own little bubble, not seeing him looking at you. He taps your head to gain your attention. "We are going to chill and not to a funeral." You stick out your tongue. "I thought it was your funeral. How lame". He tries not to laugh, but it just works for two seconds. "No, seriously, what's the matter?". You shrug. "Just math. I really am too stupid to understand that shit."

 

"Come on, man, you act like you need to be perfect! It's okay to fail one subject, and I can also help you a little. Tae asked me too, so we could make a learning group." He suggests kindly. You think about it a little, and then you simply nod. Now his smile goes even wider; you watch him for a while.

 

"Oh my God, finally we're here! I thought we would never make it!" says Tae while breathing like he did six marathons. You break the short eye contact with Jungkook and turn to your friends. "You are so dramatic. And don't get thousands of snacks like last time; we need to walk a little to the beach. I will let you carry them!" You just watch him run into the store without listening. Jungkook laughs about that and follows the others. Sometimes you can't believe how they are older than you. Okay, 1 year is not a big gap, but anyway.

 

After a little shopping tour and two more arguments with Tae, you are walking to the beach. The sun is slowly going down, and you like the vibe. You are lucky that no one had the energy to go that far on the beach, so it is quite enjoyable. Sitting down, you open up the beer, thinking about life. Everyone else looked also deep in thought. Maybe sometimes this is the best way to sort out your mind. When the sunset is almost over, Jiho sighed. "It's getting depressing. Let's go swim." Yeah, funny you thought, never ever. Of course, all the boys jump for the idea and are running towards the water. Your eyes linger a little longer on Jungkook's body. He is giving a show for real, the way he takes off his shirt and flexes his muscles.

 

Jungkook is aware of your gaze. For him, it's just a confirmation that you also do find him a little attractive. No? Is he delulu? Maybe! He enjoys the time playing in the water, but the wet jeans are giving him a hard time. After a quick check with the others, they come back to the spot where you and Jia were lying. Jungkook watches your figure, and he is wondering if you were asleep. He can't stop thinking about your emotions and the fact that a school subject is bothering you that much. Are you a perfectionist? You definitely don't look like one.

 

You could hear the movements next to you, so you open one eye to see what was happening. "Did you have fun?" you ask with a little smile on your face. "The water was a little cold, but besides that, it was fun. Do you want to go into the water too?" he asks while wiggling his eyebrows. You laugh at him, "No, it's too cold for that." His relaxed posture turns a little worried. "Are you cold?". You make a quick 'x' with your fingers.

 

"The boys and I are going to play basketball tomorrow in the late afternoon; do you want to come watch? Maybe we could go grab some lunch after," he suggests. Deep inside, he wants you to come, but you were taking a long time to answer. "Sure, why not? But I need to do some school stuff beforehand, so if I don't reach my goal, I will stay home." He rolls his eyes. "You need to go easier on yourself." You hum, and then you just watch the night sky. After a little hesitation, Jungkook lies next to you and watches the stars. It was comfortable.

 

You guys are sitting there for one more hour, and then you call it a night. Tae is the one who couldn't understand his limits with the alcohol, but it's nothing new. Jiho takes him home, and you bid goodbye to your friend Jia, who is living on the way to your house. Now you are alone, walking with Jungkook. There is a comfortable silence between you two. He is staying alone in a small apartment, but you know that there was a shorter route for him to go home. Anyway, it feels safer to have someone next to you, so you don't even ask him about it. When you reach your house, you turn fully to Jungkook. "Thank you for walking with me," you say. Jungkook acts surprised, "Naah, it's nothing. It's on my way home, so no big deal." You smile at that and wave him goodbye. He watches as you were walking the stairs. When he hears you entering the code and the closing door, he starts walking away.

 

The house is quiet. It looked like everyone was sleeping. And you are happy to finally get out of your shoes. Just in the moment where you open the shoe rack, you see your dad's shoes. You sigh. Yup, this will be a suffocating weekend; it is the only thing that you could think of. Walking to your room, you just pray that no one from your family, especially your dad, would bother you.

 

–

 

You are learning for like 5 hours, and you can feel the headache coming. Standing up, you walk to your bed and kneel down. A little box underneath is smiling at you, and you grab it. Going back to your desk, you open it to see all the sketches and drawings that you made. To free your mind, you used to paint something, and every time you're drawing, it feels like a dream. You wish you could become a famous artist who has done a lot of art. But deep down, you know the opinion of your parents. They were strict about your future. For them, you needed to become a doctor or a lawyer. Everything under that must be powerful as well, or you failed your whole life. Last time you had a conversation about going to an art school, you ended up with house arrest. That's also the reason why you need to hide everything related to that. With the knowledge that nobody is home, you start sketching.

 

You flinch with the phone ringing. The first reaction is hiding everything on your desk. You put everything in your box. After closing it, you put it back under your bed. The person who calls you cut the line. Getting your phone, you see that Jungkook was calling you. There is no way to explain the relief that you were feeling. Dropping on your knees, you almost cried. Why would you feel that way? How unfair it is that you have parents who are not supportive of you. The next thing you hear is something on your window. Turning your head, you scream in fear. Only to see Jungkook screaming too. You throw your phone on the bed and walk to the window, opening it. "What are you doing?!" you say while pulling him inside by his sleeve.

 

"Oh, hi pretty," he says with a grin. He can't be serious, right? You roll your eyes. "You scared me. Also, I have a door." He scoffs at you, "But it's not that dramatic! I'm here to go to the basketball game with you. You can't say no; I climbed up the window!". You look at him unimpressed. "I would also come with you when you just knocked on my door." He has a stupid smile on his face while saying, "So you would go everywhere with me without a doubt?"

 

You ignore his cheesy question and walk to your wardrobe. Opening it, you are thinking of what to wear. A black hoodie and some black jeans are a safe option. Jungkook is busy looking around your room. It was his first time being here. You had a minimalistic room with the colors of white, beige, and blue. Walking to the wall next to your desk, he looked at the pictures with your friends. "We never took a picture together. Let's do it today," he says. There was an old picture of you, and he takes a quick picture of it. 'Cute,' he thinks. Turning towards you, he sees that you are getting changed. He looks away; he didn't want to be a creep.

 

After changing, you both walk out of the house. The basketball court was not that far, so you agreed on walking. "Do you think I will win?" he asks. "I never saw you play, so it's hard to say. Tae is actually really good," you say. Jungkook laughs at you, "He lost all the games when we were playing. I'm just telling you so that you don't lose your bet." You think about it for a while: "Okay, I will trust you, but if I lose my money today, you owe me!". He just smiles. Is it normal for him to feel shy all of a sudden? He needs to win; there is no other option.

 

The match was almost over. Jungkook played with Jiho, and Tae asked a random dude to play with him, so it's fair. Unfortunately, it didn't change the results; they lost. Jia was the one taking a bet for him, so she cursed the shit out of him. While you run to Jungkook to celebrate his win. You both are holding each other's hands and spinning in circles. Yeah, you know you looked like two kids, but it was fun. "Omg, let's stop. I think I need to throw up," you scream at him. He stops immediately and laughs at you trying to balance. "I told you I would win!" he says. You smile at him. Wow, what is this feeling inside you?

 

All of you are sitting on the grass next to the court. The boys sipping water and Jia handing you the money she lost. You wave it a little in the air. The guy playing with Tae, Damien, stands up. "It was nice to meet you, but I need to go home. Maybe we could play someday again," he says while looking at everyone. "Yeah, sure, it was fun! Thank you for joining us," Tae says. Damien smiles at that and turns to you, "I would like to grab a coffee with you." You look up at him in confusion. He didn't expect an answer from you, so he gives you a piece of paper with his phone number on it. You take it with a little thank you. He walks away afterwards. Turning to your friends, you see Jungkook's eyes boring into your sides. The whole situation is forgotten as Jiho stands up and says, "Let's go eat. I will die".

 

Walking to the next ramen place, you notice how quiet Jungkook is. You poke his side. "What's wrong? You won a game, bro." Jungkook pouts at you and asks, "Why did you accept his number?". "I accept it from every guy because I'm too scared of their reaction when I don't accept it. Maybe they would curse me out or follow me home? So creepy," you say with a sincere tone. He looks into your eyes. "I'm sorry that you feel that way. So are you interested in meeting him?". He is playing with his lip piercing; why is he getting so nervous? "Nope, he was not my type," you say with a grin. "But why are you asking and sulking about it anyway? Wait, are you jealous?" you ask while laughing. Yup, he feels a burn on his face. You pinch his cheeks, "So cute." Jungkook wants to fall on his knees and cry. But he acts annoyed, saying, "Fuck off," and wishing you would never do that.

 

–

 

2 months later...

 

Your head is on the table. Jungkook, Tae, and you were learning at the cafe for over 6 hours. You understand more than before, but your head was seconds away from exploding. Tae is in better condition. "I told you to drink more soju. Look at me; I feel like a newborn," he says. You whine at that, "Shut up, please." Jungkook comes back to the table with a tray in his hand. He ordered some ramen and vegetables. Sitting next to you, he strokes your hair. "Come on, eat your food, and you will feel better," he says softly. You sit up looking at the food; you don't feel like eating. Until something is next to your mouth, you turn to Jungkook, who is holding broccoli in his chopsticks for you to eat. You pout and eat it. "Hmm, yummy, right?" he says in awe. You really liked it, so you nod while starting to eat. Turning to him, you see him eat with the same chopsticks that you ate from. That makes you smile. And of course he caught that.

 

Jungkook is happy that you finished your bowl. Now they are waiting for you to come back from the bathroom. He carefully packs some of your belongings into your bag. Tae is watching him the whole time. "I am worried about you," he says. Jungkook looks at him confused. "You know what I mean. Your feelings with Yn," says Tae while looking into his eyes. If there was a chance for Jungkook to flee, he would. But Tae didn't expect an answer or explanation. "I don't want you to get hurt. If you need to talk about it, I will listen," he simply says. Jungkook is shocked but also thankful that he gave him the option to open up or not. He returns Tae's smile.

 

"Why are you flirting?" you say, looking at both of them. Tae acts like putting a strand of hair behind his ear. "Oh my God, we will go on a date tomorrow!". You laugh, but the fact that Jungkook is too stunned to speak made it even funnier. Jungkook shakes his head and gives you your bag. "Come on, let's go." "Wait, why are you blushing?" you ask. That is the last straw for you and Tae to laugh like fools. Jungkook makes a quick 'tsk' before leaving. You are in tears.

 

Tae is the first one to get off the tram, bidding both of you a good night. You wave at him. Some minutes later, it is yours and Jungkook's turn to get off. While walking home, you intentionally bump into Jungkook's side. "Are you mad at my comment?" you ask. Jungkook chuckled at that. "No, all good. I know you were jealous," he says. "Woah, you're really delulu," you say dramatically. "Thank you for today, by the way. I did understand a lot. You're really good at explaining!" you add. He smiles and pokes your cheek. "No need to thank me. We can do it more often, but not that intensely. I thought you would die." You stick out your tongue.

 

"Omg, Jungkook! Look," you say, kneeling down. You start petting the black cat. It is fluffy and super soft. Jungkook takes a picture of you where you are petting the cat. "I want two cats when I move out!" you say, excited. He wants to cuddle with you and the cat. "So you're a cat person. How cute," he says, smiling. "Thank God this one has a home. Look, it has a collar," you say while turning to him. "Maybe it is on his way home," he thinks out loud. You stand up and watch the cat go. "It was so cute, I want to cry," you say, head hanging. He wants to remember this moment forever. Your interaction with the cat, your pout, and your small voice. If he were to die right now, he would be happy.

 

Walking up the stairs, you see Jungkook standing at the same spot. "Why aren't you going home?" you ask, looking down. "I will wait until you're inside," he says, shrugging. You wave at him for the last time before your door closes behind you. Jungkook walks in the direction of his house but changes his mind. Turning around, he is walking to the next supermarket.

 

It is suspiciously quiet in your house. After hanging your jacket and putting on your slippers, you walk towards your room. The TV is turned on, but nobody is sitting in front of it. You feel your heart beating faster when you see your open door. Trying to think positively about it, you walk in. Your room looks like a mess. Everything is shattered, and your mother is in a panic. "What is going on here?" you ask quietly. Only when your father turns around do you see your drawings in his hands. Your bag choosing his own fate by rolling down your arm. There are no words to say. Looking into his eyes, you can see the anger.

 

"What's all of this?" he asks while shouting. "I told you that I'm interested in art. I just sketch or paint when I need to relax," you try to reason. It will not help; they will never understand you. You don't know which part of your answer made him explode, but in seconds he starts ripping all of the papers. "How stupid of me to think that you grew up! Doing this shit instead of studying! Where are the other things? Tell me!" he screams and walks around the room. Your knees give up, and sitting on the floor, you start crying. Taking some pieces of your art while he is destroying everything in your room. Your eyes wander to the open door, your sister standing in the hall with a bowl full of cherries. She is enjoying this. "Look at your sister! She is working hard to get somewhere, and you! How can you be that stupid?" says your mother. Just as angry as your dad. You want to scream, to throw a tantrum, but everything cut off your air. How could this happen? Your dad comes up to you, forcing you to stand up. "You will tell me where all of your stuff is," he yells in your face. "I did nothing wrong," you sob. It's unfair, you want to say. But your head is like under water. Too many thoughts, but no voice. "How dare you talk back to me?" he asks. The next thing you could feel is a burn and pain in your cheek. He slapped you. You could feel the metallic taste in your mouth. For a second, everyone is shocked. But who would he be when he apologized? Instead, he grabs your arm and walks towards the door. "If you don't want to live with our rules, then you can go live elsewhere," he screams. The door shuts in front of your face.

 

You stand there for a while. Your mother or sister would open the door for you, right? But after minutes that felt like hours, you turn around. They will not open the door. Walking down the stairs, you feel empty. By the time it started raining, you looked down. You are wearing some slippers and have no jacket. In your hands are some pieces of paper that you called art. There is nothing in your mind; you just start walking. The rain is fast in soaking you wet. Near a park, you see a bench. No time to think about it more; you sit down. You look down at the pieces of paper and at the bloodstains caused by the rain that is rinsing your face. Empty was the definition of what you are feeling. The cold air makes it worse than it is. You pull your knees to your chest and bury your face on top of them. Crying felt more painful than before. Also, you are scared that some creep would come near, but you have no energy to move.

 

Jungkook hates his decision to go grab some things from the supermarket. He was at the supermarket, but not only there; he also made a stop at the bookstore. He bought two new books and was ready to gift you one. Walking back home, he curses at himself for not getting an umbrella. Near the park, he sees a girl sitting on a bench. He looks at her and wonders why she would be sitting in the rain with only a shirt and slippers. At the same time, you look up at the noise of footsteps. The last person you both expected to see was each other. Jungkook looks at your face; the first thing he notices is the cut in your lip. That was enough for him to run towards you. Kneeling down on the ground, he holds your face with both hands.

 

"What happened?" he asks while being consumed by angst. Your small hands hold his wrists. You couldn't answer his question; you are sobbing and shaking from the cold. He starts taking off his jacket and helps you put it on. "Do you want to go home?" he asks while stroking your hair. Jungkook never experienced something like that. He wants to kill everyone who was the reason for your situation. Also, he doesn't want to hurt you more, but he is scared. Scared of the reason you were in this situation. "I can't go home," you say, trying to wipe away your tears. "Let's go to my house," he asks. Unsure if he would scare you away. But you only nod. He turns around. "Piggyback," he says, and waits. You position yourself, and he stands up to walk to his house.

 

After a quick walk, he gets into the house. Letting you down carefully, he walks to his room to get you some dry clothes. When he comes back, you already start changing. You smile at his oversized black shirt and sleeping shorts. Getting the white socks, you start laughing. Jungkook turned to you while making tea. "You really wear toe socks?" you ask cutely. He smiled, "They're really comfortable!". It was weird wearing those, but you felt comfortable. He comes back with two cups, giving you one. "Thank you," you say, taking a sip. "I will go change quickly, okay?" he asks. You nod, drinking from your tea. You feel warmed up, but you know that you will have a cold tomorrow. Jungkook comes back wearing similar clothes as you. He smiles at you and gives you a blanket. Leaving once again to get the first aid kit.

 

Hugging the blanket, you turn to him. "I had an argument with my family," you say. He sits next to you, listening carefully. "You know, I wanted to go to an art school. I love drawing and everything about art. My family was against it. They want me to become something high. Don't ask me why they think being an artist is low or bad. Anyway, the first time we had that argument, like two years ago, I had house arrest. And yes, I am stubborn, and I didn't stop drawing. Today they found my box with all the sketches. My father turned red. He ripped them into pieces, and when I told him that I hadn't made a mistake, he slapped me. Oh, and he threw me out. " You could feel a tear escaping from your eye. Jungkook is quick; he pads the tear away with a broken smile. "I mean, they are my family. Why can't they accept me with my interests and opinions? Is it that wrong to have dreams? I don't get it; I just want to be loved. Is that too much to ask for?" Your voice sounds whiny. You lean your head against the armrest and cry. "You don't need to question yourself. Of course, it is normal to have expectations of your parents. It's their fault if they're not supporting you. And I know maybe it's easier to say than to do, but you shouldn't give up on your dreams because of them. You're a person who can decide what to do with your own life," he says while playing with your hair. You turn your head to look at him. "Thank you for being with me. I really appreciate it." He smiles at that. "No need to thank me. I will always support you." You sigh and say, "Jungkook, you're leaving in three months. It makes me more sad." Jungkook doesn't want to think about it. "Come here. Let's clean your wound first and then blow-dry your hair," he just says. He is gentle while cleaning your wound, and he also helps you blow-dry your hair.

 

"Do you feel a little better?" he asks, watching the way you look around. You hum, "I like your home! You put a lot of effort into it." Jungkook smiles at your voice. "Thank you," he says. You come back to him, sitting next to him. Awfully cute, he thinks. You know it will make everything more complicated, but you cuddled up to him and closed your eyes. He welcomes you into his arms. Playing with your hair to make you fall asleep. He couldn't help thinking about your family. It makes him so angry to know that they were treating you like that. He wished he could protect you from everyone.

 

–

 

The next morning feels worse than the last night. A headache is bothering you, and you are freezing. You get up from your lying position, looking around. Last night you fell asleep on the couch, and now you're lying on the bed. Jungkook is nowhere to be seen. Standing up, you walk to the living room, which also has the kitchen built in. Opening the door, you can smell some delicious food. Jungkook is cooking something and looks really serious in the process.

 

"Good morning," you say, pouting at your own voice. Jungkook smiles at you, "Good morning. You did catch a cold, right? Poor baby, come here; I cooked some soup." You walk to the table and sit down. "It's so cold," you say while holding the bowl he was giving you. He sits in front of you. "I hope the soup will warm you up a bit," he adds. For the record, the soup looks delicious and smells like a dream. Without a doubt, you eat it up.

 

"They asked about us in the group chat, and I told them that you're sick," he says after eating up as well. Only now do you realize that your phone is in your bag at home. Also, it was Monday. Monday is a school day. Your mouth hangs open now. "Oh my god, I totally forgot about school. Why are you here? You should go," you say, frowning. He simply looks at you disgustingly. "You really thought I would leave like this?". You shrug. Jungkook stands up to clean the table and starts to hum a song. That is a good moment for you to go to the bathroom and wash up. Peeking out of the bathroom, you ask him, "Is it okay for you when I take a quick shower?". He turns to look at you. "Yes, of course. In the closet, you can find some fresh towels."

 

After a quick shower, you come out to find him lying on the couch. You lay down, your head next to his stomach. Thinking about what you want to do. You can't stay here forever; your family will look for you. "I will go home later," you say quietly. He is watching you the whole time. "Are you sure? You can stay here as long as you want," he says, stopping his hand to find your hair. "Thank you for letting me stay. But I need to talk to them someday. Maybe I can move out?" You look up in his direction. "Yeah, maybe that's the best for you and your family. Maybe you need some time alone without them. But are you really going to change your dreams?" he asks hesitantly. "I don't know. I want to become an artist so bad," you say, feeling the urge to cry. "Look, my parents want me to become something important too. But I want to be a basketball player. I will do everything to make it," he says, smiling. "You sit up and show your pinky finger. "Let's make a promise. I will become an artist, and you will be a professional basketball player." He shows his pinky finger too and says, "Promise." So you make a pinky promise. He wants to hold your hand forever.

 

The knocking on the door made both of your heads look in the direction. Your fingers are no longer in a hug. "Aaah, I forgot to tell you that the others wanted to come over. After hearing that you're sick," Jungkook says while smiling with his teeth, He stands up to open the door, and the first one running in is Tae. "Yn, I missed you so much! Are you feeling better?" he asks you right away. You laugh at his words. "I missed you too! And yes, I feel a lot better." Jia puts some snacks on the table, and Jiho's eyes are going between you and Jungkook. "Jiho, no need to look like that. It's not just me having a cold. I had an argument with my parents," you say, knowing he would state some stupid shit. All of them sit down to listen to you.

 

After telling them the whole story without the part when your father slapped you because you're too embarrassed, they looked sad and angry at the same time. "Girl, you're really talented, and I don't think you should give up because of them," Jia says. Jiho and Tae quickly agree. "You can talk to them, and if they don't listen, their loss. We can organize a small apartment to live in." Tae suggests. "I don't know about that. I want to move out, but no money, dude," you say, trying to be realistic. "We can be roommates if you want. Those dorms will let us in, right?" Jia says hopefully. You nod. "You're right; we could try that. But don't feel like you need to do that. I can move in with some random girl." Jia rolls her eyes. "Come on, you know I hate living with my brothers. I was thinking about moving out too." You give her a flying kiss. "You know we can send your dad sketches as a letter," Tae says, like he had the best idea in the world. All of you started laughing. "He would kill us," you say while laughing. "Thank you for being my friends," you say after a while. Is it normal that Jungkook is hearing the word 'friends' echoed?

 

–

 

Jungkook is walking you home. He wished you could stay a little longer, but he knows that you need to talk to them. Back at Jungkook's place, you guys did some research about a dorm and the chances of a room in the middle of the school year. Luck was never on your side. The next free room was at the end of the year. So you wanted to talk to your parents about it and spend the rest of the school year at home until you can move to the dorm. In front of your house, Jungkook turns to you and says, "If anything happens, you just need to look out of your window. I will wait here a bit." You don't know what to say. He is caring a lot for you, and you don't know what to think about the meaning behind it. It's just that you feel special when he talks to you. "Thank you. I will inform you about everything. Don't worry!" you say while walking up the stairs. Jungkook walks over to stand under your window. He would burn the house down if your father tried to hurt you again.

 

You knock on the door, already hearing some steps. The door is opened by your sister. "So you came back," she says, trying to provoke you. The funniest girl, you thought. You walk in, knowing your parents would sit in the living room. Your mother is the first one to notice your presence. "There you are! I know you would come and apologize to your father," she says, a little too happy. You can't control your laughter. "No, I'm not here to apologize, mother. I just came back because I live here. And I don't want to live like you want me to. If you don't like my decisions and dreams, it's your problem. I can live with the fact that you will never support me. If you want, you can act like I died and whatever. I will move out at the end of the school year anyway and will live for my dreams."

 

The room is silent for a while. Your father turns to you and says, "I knew you would never become someone big. It was my fault for not seeing how stupid you are. Do whatever you want! At the end, you will come and beg me to help you out. And on that day I will laugh in your face. Just wait for it. Oh, and I will count the days until you're out of this house. You can go find a husband or a dorm; I don't care anymore," he says, venom in his voice. He really thinks he won? It is a win for you.

 

Turning back to your room, you look out of your window. Jungkook is standing there with a straight face. You quickly grab your phone from your bag and take a picture.

 

YN: Someone is watching me -.-

You see him looking around.

Kook: There is no one?

YN: [picture send] Looook :(

Jungkook looks up.

Kook: Omg, he is so good-looking 😍

You laugh at that.

YN: Jokes aside, I'm good. You can go home🙂‍↕️

Kook: Want to talk about it?

YN: Let's Facetime while u walk home

 

You quickly call him on FaceTime. Letting him stay on your desk while you try to fix your room. You tell him everything you and your father said. "I'm proud of you that you told him right away," he says while watching you move around. "Thanks. Can you see my room? It's such a mess. What was his intention, man?" you ask him while standing in the middle of it. Not knowing where to start. He is actually sad seeing your room in that condition. The last time he came, it was calming. "Yeah, I can help you tomorrow if you want," he suggests. "Nah, no need; I will throw away the stuff," you say. He watches you throw a lot of stuff into a plastic bag the same size as you.

 

Jungkook is already home, but you are in the flow of cleaning up, so he starts to clean up too. When both of you are done, it is already 2 am. You lay down on your bed with your phone. It didn't last long until you fell asleep. Jungkook comes back to his phone after realizing that you're not answering. He sees you sleeping and smiles. Okay, he takes a screenshot. Wishing you a good night, he hung up.

 

–

 

2 months later...

 

The time passed quickly. Now there are only four weeks left until Jungkook is returning home. You spent all day together, sometimes just the two of you, other times with your friends. Not only Tae, but all of your friends could see that Jungkook had obvious feelings for you. You were good at hiding what you felt.

 

It is almost 11 p.m., and you are working on your sketch. To be honest, you have been working on this one for weeks. You want to give it to Jungkook as a gift. It was a portrait of him wearing his favorite basketball team's jersey. The number '97' on the front side. The cozy mood in your room shifted when you heard your phone ringing. You sigh and pick up. "What do you want, Tae?". "Yn, could you come and pick us up? We are soooo full of drinks that it is cra-," he says while burping at the end. "Who are we?" you ask. You could hear the music in the back.

 

"Me and Jungkook silly," he says, laughing. Did you hear him right? Jungkook never told you about going out tonight. "Send me your location," you say, not waiting for a response. You hang up. You change into a pair of jeans and a tight black top. Getting your purse, you walk out of the house. Walking to the next taxi point, you check out the location. Fortunately, it was not that far away.

 

You step out of the car and walk into the location. It is a really crowded bar. You should wear something else and dance a little. Walking through the people with a small 'excuse me,' you give your best looking for them. In one corner, you see both of them with pretty girls around. Oh, okay, someone has fun; you thought watching Jungkook. He feels a burning stare on his face and immediately turns in your direction. You never saw him that drunk. He is waving at you with puppy eyes and a big smile. For a minute, you feel like a sky full of stars. You walk to them to stand in front of the table. Tapping your feet on the floor, you say, "What is going on here?" Tae gets scared and stops talking to the girl next to him. "It was so boring without you," Jungkook says, trying to reach your hand. Cute, you thought. The girls are not that happy about your arrival. You turn to one of them. "Sorry to interrupt, but I need to take them home." Surprisingly, she is kind and left with the other girls. "And you both! Follow me," you say, trying to look dangerous. You walk to the door, and after looking over your shoulder, you see that they are following you with their heads down. Oh, you totally feel like their mother.

 

Outside, you look at both of them. "Let's wait here for a taxi," you say. Then you decide to bring both of them to a wall on which they could lean. They are drunk as fuck. And of course there are no taxis around. You sigh in annoyance. "Can you both walk? There is no taxi; all are full. Maybe we could grab a coffee somewhere and go with a bus?" you suggest. "I'm fine; let's go," Jungkook says with a smirk. You want to rip that out of his face because you're melting. You stand in the middle of both, Tae holding one of your arms and Jungkook acting like he is totally fine. You guys start to walk down the street.

 

After ten minutes, you see an open cafe. You turn to Jungkook, "I will grab some coffee. Stay here with Tae, okay? You guys can also sit down on the sidewalk," you say. He nods his head, watching you walk in. "Look at those; they are laughing at us," Tae says while looking at a group of men. Jungkook looks in their direction. The group of men stopped talking and turned fully to them. "What are you looking at?" one of them says. "You're laughing at us!" Tae says. All of the men start laughing. "Come on, stupid boy, turn around. Your ugly face is giving me a hard time," another man says. "Who are you calling ugly?" Jungkook says, walking in the direction. At this moment, you walk out with two coffee cups in your hand. You are shocked to see that some of the men are walking towards Jungkook and that Jungkook and Tae are walking to the men. "You little shit, I will fuck you up," the man says. That is a clear signal for you to cut in.

 

"I'm so sorry, please stop this," you say while walking to Tae. Jungkook gives you a side eye. Not liking the fact that you apologized. "Go to the side, lady, if you don't want to get hurt," the shorter man says. "Who are you to talk to her like that?" Tae says. Jungkook was ready to throw a punch. You watch all the men standing there. There are five people, and you would count Jungkook and Tae as one person due to the fact that they were drunk. Without thinking much, you throw both of the coffee cups in the direction of the men. A loud gasp is heard from them. The coffee was hot. You turn to Jungkook and Tae and scream, "Run!".

 

You never ran away like this. The group of men is hot on your tracks. You feel like passing out at any moment. The energy is leaving your body. Jungkook notices that and holds your hand to pull you with him. After a run into small alleys, you stop. They lost you. Jungkook leans on the wall. Tae is sitting on the floor, and you are holding your knees. All of you needed a moment to catch your breath. When you look at both of them, you start laughing. It is so loud that an old woman opened her window to yell at you. With that, you walk away.

 

On your way, you finally found a taxi. Firstly, you made a stop at Tae's house. You help him get inside. Returning to the taxi, you give Jungkook's address. He is leaning against the window with a big smile. You look at him in question. "Are you mad at me?" he asks. He stopped smiling and looked like he was seconds away from crying. "Why should I?" you ask back. "I didn't know that he wanted to go to a bar. I would tell you. You know that, right?" He reaches for your hand. Now he is playing with your fingers. "Don't worry, I know you would tell me. I was just a little shocked," you say while smiling at him.

 

The car stops in front of his house, so you head out and help him get into the house. He sits down on the couch, and you help him get out of his shoes. "Next time when you go to a bar, you shouldn't drink that much. You both did! What would you do if nobody could get you?" you scold him. "I swear I said just one glass, and then he said, don't be a pussycat; drink more," Jungkook says. You look at him annoyed, "Wow, so smart of you." After helping him take off his shirt, you ask, "What were you guys talking about with the girls?". He scrunches his nose and replies, "Nothing; they were bubbling. Why are you asking?". You hum and toss the clean shirt in his face. "Ouch!" he says, still catching it. "Oh, sorry, I thought you saw me throwing it," you say. "Noooo, you're jealous!" he says after putting the shirt on. He quickly changes his jeans into black jogging pants. "I'm not jealous," you say. "I don't believe you! Don't worry, baby, you will be my number one forever," he says while wiggling his eyebrows. "Oh, shut up. Come on, go do your nightly routine, and then go sleep," you say after tossing the clothes that he took off into the laundry basket. "But you will stay here, right?" he asks with puppy eyes. You nod and smile at him.

 

After his nightly routine, Jungkook went to bed and fell asleep in the same second his head touched the pillow. You watch him from the doorframe. A little sad about the fact that he is leaving soon. You wish he would stay forever. Also, you do know that you two had a different bond than with the others. But nothing precious like this lasts forever, right?

 

–

 

It was early in the morning, and you were standing in Jungkook's kitchen. You were never good at cooking, but today you want to top your own skills. Tasting the soup, you scrunch your face. Yeah, you should do a favor for everyone and never cook again. You add some seasoning to make it more tasty. It is weird to feel that much like it's your own home. The thought of this ending soon makes you sad.

 

You are in your thoughts when Jungkook comes out of his room, his feet sweeping the whole floor. You turn around and watch his tired face until he looks up to meet you. He immediately starts smiling, "I thought you left." You gasp, "I was cooking for you! Come eat some, and then you can take some painkillers," you add. Jungkook rushes to his chair and starts eating. "You don't want to eat?" he asks you. You just shook your head. "Nope, I will meet Jia later. We have a girls date." He nods. Watching him eat was enough for you to light up your mood.

 

"Why did Tae want to go to a bar?" you ask while cleaning the space you used for cooking. He is done with eating. "I don't know; he told me he felt like it," he answers. It would be a lie if he said that he is not scared of your opinion about him now. The last thing he wants is for you to get a false impression of him. You walk towards him and hand him the painkillers with a glass of water. He gives you a flying kiss and swallows. "I need to go now. You can rest a bit," you suggest. Jungkook looks at you with puppy eyes. "Have fun," he says. You waved at him and left the apartment.

 

After doing his morning routine, Jungkook sits down with a paper and a pen. If anyone were to tell him that he was going to write a letter, he would definitely laugh at that. But no, it was the truth. He was shy to say the thoughts he had in his head, and he was a better writer. So why not write a letter about his feelings? He starts writing, and it got longer than he expected. After some hours, he finishes writing and looks around. Of course he needed to rewrite the letter over and over again. So he stands up and throws the scattered papers away. On his way back, he gets an envelope to put his letter in. Will he ever be able to give it to you?

 

–

 

11:30 PM

 

Jungkook wakes up from his sleep. His phone is vibrating the whole time. He doesn't know when he fell asleep. Sitting up, he gets his phone and sees missed calls and messages from you. He feels nervous scrolling through the messages.

 

Yn: I think I'm in trouble?!?!?!

Yn: Could you maybe pick us up?

Yn: I guess you're asleep. Sorry for disturbing.

 

He didn't waste more time reading all of your messages; instead, he called you right away. It took you longer to answer, and he didn't even realize that he was holding his breath. "Omg, Jungkook?!" you ask, out of breath. "What happened? Are you okay? I fell asleep, so I didn't see your messages," he asks. You sigh and add, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry. We got in trouble with some guys. We're at the hospital right now. But we're okay! Jiho is on the way." Jungkook stands up and walks to the door. "I'm coming," he says while rushing down the stairs. You could hear him running.

 

"Thank you for coming, Jiho," Jia says. You could see that she was tired. "Jiho, could you bring her home? I will walk; it's not that far," you ask him. "Is Jungkook coming?" he asks back. "Yes, he was on his way. I will walk with him; don't worry," you say and wave at them. At the same time, you see Jungkook rushing towards you. You try to smile because you know he would scold you a little.

 

"Omg, what happened?" he asks right away. "Good night to you too," you say, half joking. You pull him with you while walking home. "We just had an argument with some dudes. They were bullying a young boy, so we tried to help him. But they were a little drunk and started to push us. Then the police came out of nowhere, and we escaped without realizing that we didn't do anything wrong. That's it," you say nonchalantly. He looks at you in shock. "Did you get hurt? Why would you run away?!" he asks while checking up on you. "I just scratched my arm because I felt down. But it doesn't hurt anymore," you say, holding his wrist. "Yn! It's so dangerous to get into an argument with strangers. Why would you do that?!". "Oh, come on, Jungkook! I just wanted to help that poor boy!" you say, scoffing. He looks at you like, 'Oh, really?' "You could call the police," he says. Yes, you could, but in that moment everything happened so fast that you forgot to think about it.

 

"Stop scolding me! I will never call you again," you say, getting mad at him. "Oh, come on! You know that I'm right. I'm just thinking about you. Show me your injury," he says a little softer. "I don't want to," you say, pouting at him. He starts stroking your hair. "Come on. I'm just worried about you, and I don't want you to get hurt." You give him a side eye. "Next time call me and I'll show them what it is to argue with you," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. It's his way of making you laugh by saying random things. You just want him to go on and see his limits. "I'm getting sad. Are you ignoring me for real? Did I say something wrong? That wasn't my intention. I just got scared, and also I don't want to come to the hospital and see you in other conditions," he says, looking at his shoes. "I'm not mad! I just wanted to give you the silent treatment. I know that it was stupid to get into a fight with them. That was the last time. We were a little stupid, I promise," you say, patting his head. He immediately smiles up. It was nice to know someone cared for you.

 

–

 

School days are always boring and tiring. Today is exactly the same way. You and your friends are sitting in the school cafeteria because of the one lesson where the teacher was sick and you guys had study time for your own. You are drinking mango juice while taking notes for the next lesson. "Did you look for some colleges to go to after finals?" Jia asks. Tae scoffs at the question, "Why is everyone asking that? My parents also started talking about it, and I really feel nervous." You pat his back with a sad smile. "I'm interested in laws, maybe in that area something," Jiho says. To be honest, you are thinking about this question a lot because you know you have to deal with your parents. You had a lot of discussions with them, and you know their opinions will never change, but it felt like a big stone in front of your dreams. It's hard to go on a lonely journey without them, and you're scared that things will turn out differently than expected. Jungkook notices that you were deep in thought, so he slightly taps your arm. Turning towards him, you smile softly. "What about you? Art, is it right?" he asks and tilts his head, remembering the pinky promise. "I'm not sure about it," you answer honestly. The other three are deep in conversation, so it feels a little easier to open up. "What's that supposed to mean? I thought it was a big dream of yours," he says, looking a little confused. "Yeah, it is. But I'm not ready to deal with my family, I guess.".

 

"You know it's your life, and nobody should dig into it. Why would you give up your dream for them? I know they're family, but at the end of the day, you can try what you dream of." He is looking into your eyes with hope. "It's easy for you to say so, Jungkook. I've been dealing with them for over five years about this topic. It was not allowed to own things based on art. Do you really think they will be okay with it? I know I told them that I would move out and live my dream. But I don't know what if I'm the only one thinking it is worth it? Sometimes I overthink about it. At the end, my decision is my dream, but I'm also confused." you say with a straight face. "Look, I know what you mean, but if you go to that college, they will accept it at the end of the day, and you're thinking too much about it," he says. "No, they will not. They will wait for a moment to see me fall so that they can say we told you. And you know they would never offer me a helping hand. If I go for my dreams, I will lose them. And this doesn't even sound scary. I would be okay with that now, but will I be in the future?" you say while shaking your head. "Ah, come on, that's too dramatic. You need to take a risk sometimes. I also have the feeling that you're scared. Why don't you trust your skills? 

Don't be a chicken and be scared of a new way!". He is scolding you for your words.

 

It is strange to feel hurt by that because he was trying to give you some courage. You also don't know why the next words come out like that. "Sorry that I'm scared to be alone and confused about my future. I wish my parents would be like yours, sending me to other cities and countries for my dreams. We are not on the same boat, Jungkook." His words feel like salt over a wound. How pathetic! You need to give up all your dreams for your parents, and other parents would give up everything to fulfill their children's dreams. Jungkook is stunned to say anything; it totally took him off. You gather your things and thoughts. "I need some books at the library; see you in class" are your last words before leaving. Jungkook watches you and turns to his friends, who are looking at him questioningly. "What happened?" Tae asks. "I think I crossed a line without realizing." He could feel a sting in his chest. It never was his intention to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable.

 

Jungkook wanted to talk to you again, but you were busy doing other stuff. Ignoring him till the end of the school day and also disappearing on the way home. For him, it feels like weight.

 

–

 

"Oh, come on, man, slow down," Tae says while trying to get the bottle in Jungkook's hand. "I texted her, and she didn't even respond to me. She will never talk to me again? Fuck, I never thought I would make her feel hurt," he responds. The boys met for a drinking session, and he was already tipsy.

 

"Bro, maybe she wanted to think it over before talking with you. She does that a lot. You know we had a lot of arguments, and she never ghosted me," Jiho says with a little smile. Jungkook finishes his glass full of soju. "I don't know," he says. He will try every chance to talk to you again, but he feels like shit knowing that he hurt you. "You can buy something really big for her birthday! It's on the weekend, remember?" Tae suggests. Jungkook freezes on his spot. "Her birthday?" he asks. "Yeah, on Saturday," Jiho answers. "She will not invite me to her birthday, right?" he cries out. Both men are shocked and watch his little tantrum. "I will go and talk to her," Jungkook says while getting up. Tae tries to stop him, but it isn't working. He is already on his way to you.

 

You are brushing your hair after a shower and also think about the conversation with Jungkook. Yeah, you totally overreacted because he never wanted to make you feel bad or anything like that. You decide to talk to him tomorrow and tell him that you're a little sensitive and that you are sorry for the reaction. After finishing your nightly routine, you walk to your bed. At that moment, someone familiar opens the window and crawls in. You are so shocked that nothing comes out of your mouth, and you grab a pillow to throw it at him. Jungkook looks up to meet your eyes.

 

"Oh my god, are you crazy?!" you whisper at him. "Hi," he says with a lazy grin. "You are not answering my messages, so I needed to reach out," he adds. "I wanted to talk to you in person tomorrow, dummy," you answer. You walk to the door and lock it. Turning back, you sit down in front of him. "Look, I know I hurt you, but that was never my intention. I just wanted to help you make a decision. But I know it's not okay to say you're a chick. You're not! I should empathize more. I can understand if you don't want to talk to me, but give me a chance. Hmm, I will do everything you want! Maybe I could buy you so-" He starts talking, but you cut him off with your hand on his mouth. "I'm sorry I overreacted a little bit. You know I'm really sensitive with this topic because everything seems like a burden to me. But I never forget our pinky promise. Don't worry," you say and reach for his hand. He watches the way you are holding his hand and moving your thumb up and down. "No, I'm sorry. I wanted to make you feel better and feel supported, but it was the wrong way. I know how hard it is for you. How you're struggling with them. You feel little with them, right?" He is looking straight into your eyes. You could feel the tears threatening. "I feel lonely," you confess, and a little tear escapes your eye. He is quick enough to catch your tear with his fingers. "I will be here for you," he says. "You're leaving soon," you reply. "I love you," he says with a smile. "You're drunk" is the only thing you could say. "Maybe! But my feelings will not change because of alcohol," he whispers. Maybe it was like a promise. It wasn't easy to hold onto that because knowing that all of this will end soon made you feel sick.

 

For a moment you want to hold the time and forget everything else. You lean forward to kiss him. He caught that quick and also leaned in. Kissing him felt like a new wave of hope. He is holding your cheek to deepen. After some seconds, you pull away to catch your breath. Jungkook smiles at you and kisses your cheek. "Come on, drink first, and after that, we can sleep on my bed," you say while standing up. Jungkook sits down on the bed waiting for you. On your desk is a cup of water that you hand him. He drinks all of it while looking at you. It makes you nervous, and you couldn't hold your laugh. "You're cute when you're drunk," you say. He pouts at you, "Just when I'm drunk?". You help him lay down and take your own spot. Jungkook pulls you into his arms and starts stroking your hair. Tonight, after a long time, is the first time that you fell asleep right away. And your sleep was actually good.

 

–

 

The next morning came fast. You are the first one to open your eyes, watching him in his peaceful sleep. You start playing with his soft hair. If there was a chance of a wish for you, you would wish for him to stay with you. But you're not selfish enough to ask him to stay. Would he consider that anyway? You watch him open his eyes and look around before finding yours. He smiles at you lazily and brushes one strand of hair behind your ear. His movements are soft, and you want more.

 

"Did you sleep well?" you ask him while sitting up. He is holding your hand and nods. "I would like to offer you breakfast, but if my parents see you, we are both dead," you say. Jungkook finally sits up and pats your head. "All good. I will wait for you on the bench so we can go to school." You nod and stand up to go to the bathroom. He didn't want to let go of your hand, but he gave up soon. After finishing your routine, it was Jungkook's turn. You start to change your clothes when Jungkook finishes his job. He froze on his spot when he caught you without your sleeping shorts. It didn't take him long to turn around and quickly say, "Sorry." You laugh at that and try to hide your red cheeks that you got. When you're done, Jungkook escapes from the window, and you prepare two sandwiches for the way.

 

As promised, he is waiting on the bench with a big smile. "Here, I made you a sandwich," you say while offering. He takes a bite without taking it from you. You watch his face getting angry. Yep, that is a good sign. Then he takes it from your hand and starts eating.

 

–

 

It was Thursday, and Jungkook was five seconds away from getting on his knees to cry. Tae is holding his arm because he knows what will happen when Jungkook stops you. For the record, it was after school, and everyone wanted to go on a shopping trip, but without you. The reason was obvious: your birthday presents. And of course you asked them if they wanted to grab a boba with you. They needed to make some weird excuses, and your face changed into a sad expression. As you walked away while saying, "Okay, I will go alone and see you tomorrow," Jungkook was ready to call you back. Jia turns to the men standing next to her and says, "I will go with her. I bought my present a long time ago." She is rushing to get to you. "Calm down, dude. She will understand," Tae says to Jungkook. So the men club walks to the nearest shopping mall. Tae and Jiho are deep in thought about the perfect gift. Jungkook knows what he wants to buy.

 

"Where were you, man?" Tae asks after Jungkook came. "I bought the present," he answers. "Dude, I thought we were going to look together. That's unfair," Jiho says while pouting. "I knew what I wanted to buy, so it was easy. Now I can help you guys," he says. Tae waves with the bag in his hand and says, "We already bought something." The three of them went to the food court and ate. Jungkook is sitting with his phone in his hand, waiting for your response.

 

Kook: What are you doing??

sent

 

Tae and Jiho shared a knowing look. Both want to say something, but it is easier while they were practicing than now. "Are you feeling something towards yn?" Jiho asks. The question so heavy that also Tae choked on his drink. Jungkook looks up in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Come on, don't act stupid. You know what I mean. Just answer the question". All of them are quiet for a moment.

 

"I never felt something like this towards someone," he says after a while. Tae smiles at his words, "We can tell." Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. "I know it's unrealistic. I will leave soon. I don't know how I will turn back to my usual life and pretend like nothing happened here. I can't ask her to come with me, and I can't stay because I don't know if she is feeling the same way. Thinking about it makes me feel like dying slowly". Both men are listening to him with a sad expression. "Every end can be a part of a start. Just because you're leaving doesn't mean it will end. You can go to a college in the same city or nearby. Meet up every other day. It's all about communication, Jungkook. If both of you want a future together, then it will work out. You both just need to make some efforts. You should find the answer to her feelings first," Tae says while tapping on Jungkook's shoulder.

 

Jungkook nods. "You think we could work?" he asks with teary eyes. "Of course. Love shouldn't be about a perfect plan. It will make it more passionate when you need to fight for it. Time will show you at the end if it's working. And if not, you will at least not regret anything," Tae answers. "Thank you, Tae. That was a big help for me," Jungkook says and wipes off his tears. A small sob is heard. Both of them are confused and turn to Jiho, who was crying. "I'm all whiny when it comes to love struggles," he says, struggling to speak. "I never saw Jiho like this," Tae says and starts laughing. Jungkook joined him and thanked God that he met friends like them.

 

–

 

You are sitting with Jia, sipping from your boba. Your mind was on someone else, yes, of course Jungkook. Why would he go without you? Now some scenarios going inside your head. How ridiculous to think about the worst cases; he is seeing someone. Jia senses that you were deep in thought. At the same time, she is checking the birthday group for pictures of the gifts that the boys are sending. Your phone vibrates, and that is a good thing for stopping your weird thoughts and a help to come back to this moment. Jungkook's message makes you smile; he was thinking about you. But who would you be if you answered right away? With a lighter heart, you start talking with your best friend and forget to reply.

 

–

 

Kook: Are you alive?!

sent

Kook: Are you ignoring me? TT

sent

 

He is seconds away from walking to your house and climbing up the window. It is enough for him to fuck up the plan and tell you everything about the present shopping just to clarify that he would love to go to the mall with you, and he would never say no to a boba date. He randomly stands up from his bed and picks up his jacket. If you're not answering, then he will get the answer face to face.

 

Yn: Why would I ignore you? o.o

 

Jungkook heard his phone vibrating and threw away the jacket in his hands. Jumping on the bed to lie back and answer quickly.

 

Kook: Idk... you didn't reply

Yn: Sorry, my battery died:(

Kook: nah it's okay now I know that everything is fine

Yn: yes! Good night 🫶🏼

Kook: good night <3

 

He needs to see you tomorrow to check if you're sulky at all.

 

–

 

You are walking to the classroom with a big smile on your face. This morning you decided to cook for yourself and Jungkook. Okay, you're not the best cook, but it tasted really good. Halfway through the hallway, you stop in your tracks. Is that Jungkook with the pretty girl from the other class? They are talking and laughing. You never saw them talk before, so it's hard to understand from where the closeness came. You watch them a little, and seeing her touching him the whole time makes you sick. The feeling is new in your heart, but you don't want to overthink it. Could it be that your weird scenarios from yesterday were true? Are they more than strangers? Bitter, you feel bitter.

 

Jungkook talks with Yuna about a school club. Explaining that he was gone next week, so he couldn't extend any of the clubs. He is talking to her for the first time, but he can feel that the girl in front of him wants to know more about him. The conversation is smooth, and he has fun. Until his eyes wander off to the back, and there you are standing. You look a little confused. His eyes meet yours, and that is a signal for you to walk away. Jungkook's face drops quickly, and he cuts the conversation off gently. Wishing her goodbye, he walks to the class.

 

By the time you are sitting at your desk and looking at something on your phone. The weather is perfect. Jungkook sits in front of you. "Good morning," he says. You didn't look up but answered quickly with a good morning. From the corner of your eyes, you could see him sulking. "Are you mad at me because of yesterday? Come on, I will tell you about it tomorrow!" he says. This is a big hint because tomorrow he wants to count down your birthday. "I'm not mad at you because of yesterday. I just thought we were close enough that you would tell me about the girls you're seeing," you say while putting your phone away. He opens his mouth to say something, but he is stunned. "I'm not seeing anyone. Why would you think that?" he asks. You start looking at him in disbelief. "The girl from earlier wants you. It was so clear," you say. He laughs at that and adds, "I don't care about that; I want someone else." Why is he wiggling with his eyebrows right now?!

 

"Anyway, I don't care. I cooked lunch for both of us, but now I don't want to share," you say with a pouting face. "Aw, don't lie. You care! And how cute of you to cook for me as well. Can we please share? I want to taste it," he says. You start glaring at him, but his cute face is no help. He starts playing with your fingers. "You know the day I came to your room a little drunk after our first fight?" he asks, not looking up. You nod. "I remember what I said. And I was honest about it". He looks into your eyes. You never answered, but that also never was his intention. He wanted to talk about his feelings, and he will wait until you can talk about yours. His words are enough to make you smile. "I like serious men," you say. "So you like me?" he asks. You look around the room; everyone was inside their own bubble. You come closer to kiss him on the cheek. "Answer your own question," you whisper. It feels like a dream.

 

At lunchtime you take out two lunch boxes. One in front of Jungkook and one in front of yourself. He opens it with sparkling eyes. "It looks so good, omg," he says. You also cut the vegetables in star shapes. He laughs at that and starts eating. You watch his expression, and seeing him angry was a good sign. Eating happily together is peace for both of you. "Do you have plans for tomorrow night?" he asks after finishing his food. "Hmm, no. Why?" you look at him. "Let's do something together and count down. On Saturday we could celebrate with the rest of the group," he suggests. "Okay, I'm in. What are we going to do? you ask. "It's a surprise," he answers, smiling.

 

–

 

It is Friday night, and you are getting ready to meet Jungkook. You decide to wear a black skirt and a cropped brown turtleneck. In front of the door, you wear your leather jacket, scarf, and black Converse. Of course you told your parents that you are going to Jia.

 

Walking down the street, you see Jungkook waiting. He looks hot with his hair done and an outfit that is matching yours. He sees you coming and waves. Only then did you see the red roses in his hand. That makes your heart skip a beat. "Hi," you say with a shy smile. "Hi, you look beautiful," he says and hands you the roses. "Thank you! They're so pretty, like you," you say while smiling like an idiot. "Come on, let's go. We only have 30 minutes. We will count down at home," he tells you the plan for the night.

 

After a quick walk, you could see the sea shining. The stars are beautiful, and you feel happy after a long time. "Actually, I wanted to eat the cake here with you, but then I decided to only watch the stars with you instead," he says. "You know that I love the night and the sea," you say. Now you were walking beside the water. It is calming to walk while listening to the water. "I think you were right. That girl from yesterday found me on Instagram and texted me," he suddenly shares. You look at him confused and ask, "What did she say?". "If I want to meet her," he replies. You frown at that. It is selfish to want him only for yourself because, yeah, he is hot, and every girl would want him. "Don't worry; I blocked her right away," he says after the pause. "Why would I worry?" you say, trying to hide the relief. "So you would be okay if I went out on a date with her?" he asks, surprised. "Slow down," you say faster than expected. Jungkook couldn't control his laugh. "Don't worry, baby, I'm all yours," he says, holding up both of his hands. You turn to him with an annoyed expression. "Stop teasing me." "Me? I would never. But you're pretty when you're jealous," he says and continues to laugh.

 

"You wish for a tragic death," you say while putting the roses behind you. Then you push him into the water. It is so sudden that he loses his balance and falls into the water. You start laughing at him. But you didn't expect him to pull you. It is not deep enough, but your clothes are wet anyway. Both of your laughs ringing in the air. Jungkook places his hands on your waist and starts to dance. Both of you lost in each other's eyes. When was the last time you felt this happy? He starts to sing a love song you never heard before, but you love it. After he finishes, it is a sign for you to move closer. His lips so dangerously close to yours. You start kissing him while your fingers make their way up to his hair on the back. He quickly matches your lip movements. Slipping his tongue inside your mouth. The moment is like an old romantic story. You break the kiss to catch a breath. Both of you are smiling happily. Until you splash water into his face. A second of silence before you grab your roses and start running in panic. He is so fast, "Yah! Don't run away!" he screams behind you. Now you know what to wish for when you blow out the candles.

 

You are getting inside Jungkook's apartment. He tells you to wait in the living room. You use the time to take off your jacket and put the flowers on the table. Because of your wet clothes, you sit down on the floor. Five minutes later, Jungkook comes back with a birthday cake. Your favorite, strawberry cheesecake. The lights of the candles a beautiful contrast on his skin. He starts singing happy birthday, and you couldn't resist hiding your face with your hands. He sits down in front of you, placing the cake on the table. "Come on, blow it off," he says. You close your eyes for a moment. Thinking of the perfect wish, him. Opening them, you blow out. He claps his hands and starts cutting the cake. You don't know why you want to cry right now. Feeling emotional about the whole situation. Tears pour down your face, and you hate yourself for ruining the moment. Jungkook looks up to give you the slice. "A big slice for the birthday prince—" he stops mid-sentence. You could see the worry in his face. "What happened?" he asks. "I don't want you to leave me," you say with a sob. Saying it out loud made it more painful. He would be gone next week. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat. "I don't want to leave too," he says, reaching for your hand. You couldn't stop crying, and he comes next to you. Hugging you tight, you lean on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for ruining this now," you told him. "Yah come on. For me it's important what you feel. Never hide it from me, okay?" he says. You nod your head. His gentle fingers are wandering on your back.

 

Pulling away, you look into his eyes. He brushes your hair away. This time it is him who leans closer to kiss. It feels more intimate than at the beach. He pulls you into his lap while holding your waist. The kiss deepens, and you start to move on his lap a little. Feeling a heat between your legs. His hands sliding inside your cropped turtleneck. You break the kiss and look at him with lust. "Do you want to go on?" he asks with a low voice. Nodding your head, he stands up with you on his arms. He places you on the bed and gets off his shirt. You watch his body while he gets onto the bed and starts kissing your neck. "You're so pretty," he whispers. "Can I take this off?" he asks while his fingers pull at the turtleneck. "Yes," you say a little nervous. You help him get it off. His hands start discovering your body quickly. And the next, your skirt was gone. Lying between his legs, he starts placing kisses around your boobs and stomach. Playing with the hem of your panties, he looks into your eyes for confirmation. You nod quickly and brush his hair with your hand. He takes them off, and they find a place on the floor. "Fuck," he says and starts playing with your sensitive folds. Your moans fill the room. Jungkook is quick to start with his tongue. "You taste amazing, baby," he says. You start fisting his hair. It felt better than imagined. After some time you moan his name, "Oh my god. I think I- I'm coming," you say. "Come pretty girl," he says softly. It is enough for you to shake underneath him. He swallows you happily.

 

After coming down from your high, you open your eyes. He is watching you like you are the prettiest night sky. The next thing gone is your bra. His fingers and tongue playing with your boobs gently. You had enough courage now to start wandering your fingers on his chest. They quickly find his belt, which you open right away. He helps you take off his pants. Only in his boxers, he watches your body. In his eyes you were the most beautiful he ever saw. His fingers find your folds again. This time pushing in. You moaned at the sudden stretch. He adds one more finger and gently pushes and pulls out of your hole. When he thought it was enough, he pulled out and licked his fingers with a smile. You smile back at him and play with the hem of his boxers. He takes them off, and your eyes wander to his dick. Yeah, he definitely is big. "I need to tell you something," you say. He caresses your face and says, "Tell me, baby." "I never did this before. It's my first time," you whisper a little embarrassed. He smiles at that. "We can stop here if you want." You pout, "No, I want this." "Okay, we will do this together. It will hurt a little, but then you will feel amazing. Trust me?" he says, planting a kiss on your jaw. "I always trust you." "It's also the first time for me," Jungkook says. Now feeling more emotional. You smile at him. "Shit, I have no condom. I can go and buy some," he says, frustrated trying to get off. You stop him. "It's okay for me. I'm on the pill". He nods at that.

 

"Are you ready?" he asks while starting to stroke his dick. "Yes," you answer. One hand is holding yours, and the other one is guiding his dick to your entrance. He slowly pushes his tip in. "Relax, baby." Pain shoots up through your body as he pushes his length into you inch by inch. You moan his name, and he is kissing your neck while his free hand caresses your hips. With a final thrust, he is all nestled in. He waits for you to adjust to his size. You close your eyes, feeling tears filling. It feels stretched, and it burns a little. But feeling Jungkook's lips on your body makes it all better. "You can move," you say. That is a sign for him, so he starts to slowly pull back and push in. He moans at the sensation. Quickly finding a pace that is okay for both of you. It is more than fucking; it is making love. Your bodies and hearts were one. His room is filled with the sound of bodies and moans. The night is long until you shook underneath him, reaching your high. He soon after spilled his thick ropes of cum into you. Feeling it makes you moan into his lips. After controlling his breath, he slowly pulls out and watches his cum spilling out.

 

Jungkook helps you clean up, and you took a shower together. You are in his arms like a koala when you turn back to his room. Wearing one of his shirts. He sits you down on his desk with a kiss on top of your hair. Then he turns to the bed and starts changing his sheets. You see the little bloodstain on it. After unfolding the fresh sheets, you lay down. He hugs you tight. "I love you." You kiss his cheek as an answer to his words. Sleep was pulling you, and Jungkook was happy to watch you.

 

–

Jungkook is the first one to wake up. He enjoys the view and starts playing with your hair. His head full of questions, are you going to regret everything? Your eyes flutter open and meet his. You smile at him and move closer to warm up. He smiles at that and hugs you even more. "Good morning, baby," he says. You place a kiss on his neck. "Good morning. Do you want to know what I dreamed about?" you ask. He nods his head. "About the cake. I forgot to taste it," you say, pulling away. You jut out your lip while watching his movements. "You can eat all of it if you want. Come on," he says and stands up. Holding his hand, you walk to the living room. You sit down on the floor and start to eat. "Whoa, so tasty." Jungkook carefully watches you with a smile.

 

He suddenly stands up and walks back to the bedroom. Soon coming back with a box in his hand. "I forgot to give you your present," he says. Sliding the little box on the table towards you as a signal to open it. You look at him confused. Opening the box, you see matching silver rings with little diamonds around them. You start laughing, "Are you going to propose?". He rolls his eyes. "Marrying you is on my list, but it's too soon," he adds. "So romantic," you say while getting shy. You take out one of the rings and try it on your middle finger. With joy you show him it. "Now showing me a middle finger? Tsk," he says. You take out the other one, which is a little bit bigger than yours. "Which finger?" you ask. "Index," he answers. You slide it on his finger. He touches your hand. "It looks so cute." You take out your phone and take a picture of your hands. "I love it," you say with a big smile. "Thank you, Jungkook," you add after a little pause. "But I want you to wear it forever until I buy you a new one," he says. You nod at him, "Of course. But you too!". "I promise," he says.

 

After eating more cake, you started getting ready for the celebration with your friends. All of you rented a party room with karaoke and music. Dancing to party hits and singing your lungs out. Of course, alcohol wasn't missing. Tae forced you to play a drinking game. Both of you are already tipsy. Jungkook watched you the whole day, drinking fewer. When you called it a day, everyone started getting home.

 

You knew that your family wasn't home, so Jungkook helps you to get into your room. "I need to do my routine," you say and walk to the bathroom. He helps you get your makeup off and brush your teeth. Sitting on the bed, you wait for him to give you your pajamas. He helps you change and tucks you into bed. Patiently waiting for you to fall asleep. "Happy birthday," he whispers before leaving.

 

–

 

1 week later...

 

If you could stop the time, you would do it right now. It was one day before Jungkook returns home, and you felt more than sad. You talked a lot about this topic, but none of you had the courage to ask to stay or come. But you decided to stay in contact and go to a college that is near to meet. Why is it feeling like it will never happen and everything will end in this city?

 

When you arrive at the restaurant for the last dinner, you fight not to cry. It's your fault to have such a relationship with him while you knew he would be gone soon. You try to not think about it tonight. Walking inside, you can already see everyone sitting at the table. "I'm so sorry for being late," you say. "Nah, all good. I also came seconds before," Tae says. You sit down next to Jungkook (it was the only free chair). He smiles at you and you return it. Everyone starts to order food and drinks. After some time the table is full and you start eating.

 

"I can't believe that the time flew by so fast," Jiho says in disbelief. "Time is so crazy," Jia adds. You silently eat your pasta. Jungkook is worried about you. He can imagine what is happening inside your head. But he knows you will try to play it off tonight. Finishing your food, you start to sip from your wine. Tae gives Jungkook a little side eye, and you catch that. Perfect, your plan wasn't going anywhere. Everyone knows about my feelings, you think. It feels uncomfortable that every one of them looked at you from time to time. Oh, they want you to cry. The waiter quickly took the empty plates. You start eating the fruits and think of their story. The silence is killing you.

 

Tae waves a bag in front of Jungkook's face while he is busy looking at you. He turns to the bag in surprise. "That is a little gift from us all. I know we will see each other again, but I want you to remember us in this memory," Tae says. "Thank you so much. I really appreciate it," Jungkook says. He pulls out a box and opens it to see the black watch. "It's so pretty," he says and starts wearing it right away. Why is it so warm in here? You can feel your eyes getting watery. And at this second you start scolding yourself. It was the last dinner together, and you don't want him to remember it like a funeral.

 

"I remember the first day when we were waiting for the exchange students. You were standing next to the teacher like a proud little kid," you suddenly say and start to laugh. "Oh my god, yes! They acted like it's a big mystery," Jia adds, also laughing at the memory. Jungkook is happy to see you laughing. "I was nervous, okay? New city and new people. It's not that easy," he says to defend himself. "Ah, come on. There were already rumors that you are hot," Tae says. "Everybody wanted to see you," Jiho says with a grin. You could see his ears getting red. "Are you shy?" you ask him with a smile. "It's a little embarrassing," he answers with a pout. You laugh at that and poke his cheek. "Come on, I would feel like an idol if I were you," you say. He sticks his tongue out. The night goes on like that. Everyone telling a funny story and you feel the bonding.

 

Getting out of the restaurant, you start walking to the nearest station. Because of the sea, it was a lot windier, but it felt good. "Let's leave a memory of us behind," Jia says and kneels down. All of you walk towards her. She takes out a black pen that is thick enough to write on the ground. It was a little place on the floor full of names. She started writing the names. You smile at the heart she drew next to them. "We need to meet here in ten years," she says. You think about it; in ten years, where are you? What happened in your life? Are you in touch with Jungkook?

 

Like always, you bid goodbye to your friends. Now only you and Jungkook are walking together. "I will miss you," he says suddenly. It cuts through the silence and your heart. "I will miss you too," you say. "I never expected you to return my words, but do you have feelings for me?" he asks with soft eyes. You turn to him. "Do you think I would be like that without having feelings for you?". He nods, but you know that this is not what he is asking for. "I know that you want to hear the magic three words," you say and pause for a moment. "I will not say it to you," you add. He looks confused and asks, "Why?". "I'm scared that it will be the end of us. So I'm giving you something to wait for us," you say. His head now hanging low. When he decides to look up, you see tears streaming down his face. It is the last straw for your own tears. "This will never be the end of us, right?" he asks with a sparkle of hope. You shrug your shoulders and step closer to him. Hugging him tightly, you kiss his neck. His hands find their place on your waist. The time should stop now.

–

 

In the morning, all of you stand in front of Jungkook's house. It was time to go for him. He started saying goodbye to everyone. Standing in front of you, he hands you an envelope. "This is for you," he adds. You take it and smile at him. "If this is the end, will you come to my first gallery event?" you ask him. He smiles at that and answers, "I will. And will you come to my first match?". "I will," you say while wiping off your tear. He kisses you on the lips a little longer than planned. Turning around, he waves goodbye to all of you. "I will miss you," Tae says with teary eyes. "I will miss you too. Thank you for everything," Jungkook says before getting into the taxi. You watch the car drive away. Without saying anything, you walk back home. You realize that you never walked back alone from his house. This was reason enough to start crying.

 

Walking into your room, you lock the door. You sit down on the floor and look at the window. Can he crawl in? You look at the envelope. Why does it feel so suffocating? Opening it, you start reading the letter he left:

 

Dear Yn,

It's my second time writing a letter. And I needed a lot of tries to finish this one. My first letter was a confession about my feelings towards you, but I managed to say I love you. I wished I could tell you all of this, but I know that I will break down. If you're reading this, it means I'm on my way home. First of all, I want to thank you for everything. For every moment that you shared with me. I wish I could stay a little longer or promise you that this is a beginning. Maybe we will never see each other again, but never forget that these moments will always remain special to me. I will hold my promises, so please do it too. Live for your dreams and never give up, okay? If this is our end, I wish you a lovely future. A true love, someone who would stay with you no matter what. I hope you're not mad at me for leaving. I just know that it's unrealistic to say, Fuck everything; I will stay, or I will take you with me. Why are we so young? Anyway, I will always be there for you no matter what. Please call me if you need to. Never forget that I love you. I will wait for the day that you will say it back.

 

Your (I will always be yours)

Jungkook

 

Note: Please listen to the CD. I wrote the song and sang it for you.

 

You can't control your tears. It hurts so much that you want to cry until there are no more tears left. "I love you so much," you whisper. He was the only one who wanted your happiness. Not your family; it was him who supported your dreams. Of course your friends were also there for you. But he was special. Your first with a lot. With shaking hands, you take out the CD and put it in your CD player. Jungkook's soft voice starts playing. The song familiar to your ears. He sang it at the beach on your birthday. You cried yourself to sleep. Hoping he would be in your dreams.

 

–

 

˚₊✩‧₊2024˚₊✩‧₊

 

You are standing with a little group of people talking about your last works. It was your first gallery event, and you feel excited about it. More and more people come to look at your work. At the end you're happy about every single piece. You could see Tae, Jia, and Jiho standing at the table. Excusing yourself, you walk towards them. "Hiii! Thanks for coming," you say. "Everything looks so good," Tae says. You smile at him, "Thank you." "At the end it was worth it," Jia says with a smile. "Yeah, you're right," you answer. After talking a bit, you walk away to look at your own pieces and answer some questions. You stand longer at one piece, which is your favorite. You gave it the title 'end of time.' A beach at night, with two people dancing and a bucket of roses on the sand. It reminds you of your 19th birthday.

 

"This looks familiar," a voice says. You turn to him in disbelief. "You came," you say with a low voice. Jungkook smiles at you. "I promised." You return the smile and play with your ring that he gifted you ten years ago.

 

–

 

┊͙Epilogue - 2014┊͙

 

 

 

Jungkook is sitting on the train wiping his tears. He decides to listen to some music for distraction. Opening his travel bag, he finds a small bag. He doesn't remember putting this in his travel bag. He takes out the frame and starts smiling. It is a drawing of him with his favorite jersey on. Your signature on the right side. His tears start to flow again. He grabs the piece of paper and starts reading:

 

I hope you like it! Sorry for sneaking this in, but I wanted to surprise you. I know you're sad about the whole situation, but stop being so. I know that this will not be the end. How ridiculous it would be for two people who love each other to break contact just because they're not living next door! Right? I love you, but despite it, wait to hear it from me, okay? Now stop sulking and enjoy your ride back. <3

 

Today he is smiling for the first time thanks to you. You make him feel sad and happy at once. He is happy that he had the chance to get to know you and love you. And also being loved by you. He played all of his luck on this, and he regrets not a bit.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Thank you for reading! This is my first work, so I hope you enjoyed it. Also, English is not my first language, so excuse me for mistakes.

I love and hate open endings. Do you think they met at the gallery for the first time after ten years? Maybe I will write a part 2 about all the things that were left open. Depends on how many people are interested in reading this.

I would be happy if you could leave a review. Feel free to ask me questions or talk about anything (press the button in my bio)! Feel loved ♡

[breezilis]

something that makes me soooo insane about telemachus in i can't help but wonder (and also in the wider context of epic the musical) is that telemachus says in i can't help but wonder,

"i can't help but wonder what your world must be / if we're like each other, if i have your strength in me / all this time i've wondered if you'd embrace me as your own"

because — for so much of his life, telemachus has probably been told stories about king odysseus, his father, cunning strategist, favored of athena, etc etc, and wanting to live up to that ("i know life and fate are scary, but i wanna be legendary!", "and i would fight them if i was half as strong as you" from legendary)

he has also spent so much of his life being terrorized, and watching his mother being terrorized, by suitors for her hand — and he probably thought "well, FATHER would be able to drive them off!"

and then odysseus does come. and he kills them all.

and. yes. father has finally returned. finally driven them off. but his father also had to save telemachus from melanthius, the one suitor who threatened to "break the kid's hands" to cow odysseus.

there must have been something in telemachus that thought, "ah. so you are exactly as legendary as everything i've ever heard about you, father. and i am...not."

reminder that, in we'll be fine, telemachus says that his time with athena has been the best day of his life "'cause [he] got in a fight and [he] didn't die" — that was probably his first ever fight.

plus, with the way the suitors mock him and speak about him, he's probably VERY AWARE that he is constantly compared to his father, and found lacking.

so of course he's thinking about how his legendary, cunning, kingly father might ALSO compare them, and might come to the same conclusions as everyone else. he might well decide that telemachus would not be WORTHY of being, to borrow telemachus' own words here, "embrace[d] as [odysseus'] own".

of course, odysseus has never once thought about his son as anything other than HIS — "my boy", "my son", "sweetest joy i've known", a driving force to getting him home in the horse and the infant ("penelope, telemachus, i'm on my way") and in keep your friends close where you can hear telemachus as one of the voices urging odysseus to keep his eyes open — but i wonder how long it would take telemachus to really believe that his father isn't disappointed in him, because he has spent TWENTY YEARS being put and putting himself in the shadow of this man — and it might even make him self conscious, that odysseus spent all that effort coming home to his Ideal Family™ only to be met with the reality of what they really are.

i firmly believe that to ody, the reality of his family will always be better than the "ideals" — and that probably ody's "idealized family" is literally just. whatever penelope and telemachus are like now.

but idk. it's just something i feel like they'd have to work through, now that odysseus IS home, and it is just such a consistent part of telemachus' character that i haven't really seen anyone discuss.

[gracemisconduct]

This has been a strange Christmas. The first without my dad. I've always struggled with being explicit about emotion; this is the second major grief in my life, and the first nearly killed me. This time, I'm trying to be open, less self destructive, but man, it's hard work. My mother, still here, is...someone who loves me better from afar. She also struggles to accept that this has happened to more than her. And yet, Christmas, funerals, and the time of year forces proximity, and forces everything that comes with it.

He died in increments, then all at once. I first saw him die a little ten years ago, getting a pacemaker. Then a little more two years later, when he was so breathless he couldn't walk across the small medieval town I lived in. I saw him die a little bit when he was diagnosed with cancer, and when he broke down crying at my wedding. I saw him die most and fastest this year, when he went from visiting China to not having the strength to sit up in bed by himself. And then, all at once, he died.

I never knew there was so much admin involved in death. People would ask how I was; I had no idea. I was too busy sourcing a death certificate, arranging a funeral, writing a eulogy, telling friends and family he'd died, sorting my mum's finances. Every now and again I'd burst our crying. Then I'd stop.

Through it all, two things kept me just about sane; walking, walking everywhere, and fantasy. Good fantasy, bad fantasy. Smut and angst and fandoms and AO3 and all the wonderful ridiculousness of it that teen Grace loved and 20s Grace tried to pretend she didn't. Now I'm in my 30s, no shits are given. It was a balm, a source of humour, a relief. A place of happy endings of all kinds. A lot of BG3. It even made me think about doing a little writing of my own, though we're far from there yet. Thanks, hellsite, for the wonderful wildness of this place. Thanks, makers, for putting your work out there into the world for me to get lost in and cling to like a life raft.

____________

So, who was my dad? He was the most accomplished man I ever knew; nearly 40 years curating Japanese art and metalwork at internationally renowned museums, published books, honorary positions, a photographer, a ceramicist, a singer and more. His eulogy took days to write just to remember everything he did, and we still missed things.

His curiosity for culture, his love of learning, his collecting of obscure facts and bizarre stories, was infectious. It was the golden thread of my brother and I’s upbringing, with weekends and holidays punctuated by museums, bookshops, National Trust properties, standing stones and sci-fi movies, and everything in between. It was this same passion and curiosity that meant his list of friends and admirers was longer than your arm. He was a G.I. and so am I. Yes, I stole his badge.

When we were looking for readings for his cremation, we came across this poem. It's a later addition by Tolkien, written by Bilbo as he travels to the Grey Havens, thinking about his life and what comes next. I think that dad - LOTR narrator, deliver of funny hobbit voices, old hippy - would appreciate it. I hope you do too.

Day is ended, dim my eyes,

but journey long before me lies.

Farewell, friends! I hear the call.

The ship's beside the stony wall.

Foam is white and waves are grey;

Beyond the sunset leads my way.

Foam is salt, the wind is free;

I hear the rising of the Sea.

Farewell, friends! The sails are set,

the wind is east, the moorings fret.

Shadows long before me lie,

beneath the ever-bending sky,

but islands lie behind the Sun

that I shall raise ere all is done;

lands there are to west of West,

where night is quiet and sleep is rest.

Guided by the Lonely Star,

beyond the utmost harbour-bar

I'll find the havens fair and free,

and beaches of the Starlit Sea.

Ship, my ship! I seek the West,

and fields and mountains ever blest.

Farewell to Middle-Earth at last.

I see the Star above your mast!

- J.R.R. Tolkien

notes on grief - chimamanda ngozi adichie

[slushycoookie]

Between Two Worlds ~ Loser! Miguel O'Hara x Stripper! Reader (Pt.7)

★ Word Count: 6.5k

★ Content: Uh oh Dana alert. Tyler alert too. There's fun in a hot tub. Intense making out. Oral sex (male receiving). Vaginal fingering. A lot of sexual tension in here. Minors DNI!

★ A/N: This is wayyy longer than the every other week time frame that I wanted to set, but it's okay y'all are gonna be eating good this chapter. Let's just say this an early New Year's gift from me. Enjoy!

⁺˚⋆｡°✩Prev | Next ✩°｡⋆˚⁺ Masterlist | Commissions

“Did you just arrive?”

Miguel nods, pointing at the front desk behind him, “Yeah. The room's not ready yet.”

“I see.” Dana’s eyes check out his attire and the bag filled with snacks dangling from his arm. “How was your drive?”

“Good. Fun. Yours?”

“We didn't drive.” Miguel’s brow raises when she continues, “I told Tyler I'm not a fan of long car rides so we flew.”

“You…don't like long car rides?”

As Dana shakes her head, memories of all of the long trips they took together flashed in his mind. Even back in college, when they drove for eight hours to attend a festival she wanted to go to in Virginia. No hint of discomfort when they piled into his dad's mini-van, blasting songs that would play at the festival the entire time.

His hand rests on his churning stomach.

“It’s…it's good Tyler was able to accommodate you.”

“Yeah, it is.” Her gentle smile makes him sicker. He wants to know where you are, to get away as far as possible. “I know I asked before but, are you sure you'll be ok?”

Miguel’s throat clears, “What do you mean-oh.” Amusement lingers in his throat, “Yeah I will be.”

“Are you sure? We can have dinner later on tonight if you want-”

“Hi, baby!” You crash into him, hugging his side tightly. “My bad for taking so long. I had to call my mom to let her know we arrived safely and then I had to text the group chats to let them know too.”

Miguel immediately wrap his arm around you, his laughter coming out and directed at your presence. The sickness in his stomach goes away and butterflies remain.

“You’re okay.”

“Miggy? Who's this?”

He hasn't heard that nickname from her since they separated. Xina used it for him back in high school and Dana caught on. She'd only used it when being overly affectionate.

You face her, a smile so wide that appears to be genuine. Miguel knows it's fake. You resort that smile to the rudest customers at The Weave.

He introduces you to Dana and you shake hands. It goes on a little bit long as he watches Dana access you. She does that when she's trying to feel out someone. To see if she likes them or not.

“It’s so nice to meet you.”

“Same here.” Dana flashes a polite smile, “I'm sorry, I was under the impression that Miguel would be alone this year.”

“And why would you think that?”

Your head tilts, feigning confusion. Dana shortly laughs. “Well, he didn't tell me that he was bringing another woman along. Given it's been, what a few months since our break up?”

Almost six, but who's counting?

“I thought you wanted him to take your advice? You know, about moving on?”

“Oh.” She stammers, “I-I guess I did tell him that.”

The beeper goes off in his hand and it's time to escape.

“Our room is ready now.”

“Yay!” You kiss his cheek. “I'm so ready to put my stuff down I am tired.”

Miguel beams, “So am I.” He turns back to Dana, “You mentioned something about dinner, right?”

“Oh yes!” She recollects herself, “We're going to this Japanese restaurant. I can squeeze you, uh you two in if you want?”

You glance over at him, waiting. Avoiding Dana and Tyler was something he wanted to try and do all weekend. But it would be a good opportunity to lessen his anxiety. And you'll be there.

“Sure. What time?”

“Is seven okay?”

Miguel looks over to you and you nod, “Seven is great.”

The room at the hotel is a one bedroom suite.

When walking in there's a kitchenette to the right and a living room area straight ahead. Going further in the suite was the bedroom, with a king sized bed and a spacious bathroom on the right. It contains a large glass door shower that can easily fit him and you inside.

The best part is the hot tub.

You're in awe seeing a patio connected to the bedroom. A hot tub sat in the middle of a gorgeous view of the lake that's nearby the hotel. The walls on each side seal the deal on how private it is.

No one can say Alchemax doesn't treat it's employees well.

“It has a massage feature.” Miguel picks up the remote, “And it changes the color of the water.”

“You already sold me on the private hot tub. I will definitely use this later.”

The two of you waste no time unpacking for the event tomorrow. Just to get everything out of the way before relaxing for the rest of the evening.

“So, I thought you wanted to avoid them this entire trip.”

Miguel grimaces, “I did. Then she sprung dinner on me and I thought that maybe we should go. It'd make the banquet less awkward.”

You hum, not saying anything else when you hand him your dress. He briefly admires the sparkle from it before looking at your face. It's lowered and he's unsure if you're upset with him.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's fine, Miggy.”

He pouts when you use his nickname in that way. In a condescending tone.

Miguel comes closer, brushing against you with his chest. A corner of your lips go up, but you try to hide it. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

You pause momentarily before snorting, “Maybe you can eat me out. Then I'd feel better.”

“Okay.” He checks the time on his watch, two hours before going to dinner. “Let me brush my teeth first.”

“Whoa wait!” You grab his hand when he turns towards the bathroom. “Hold on, I was joking.”

Miguel blinks, “You were? I don’t have a problem with that-”

“Yes I was. I need to freshen up anyway so…”

“I don't care about that.”

It's your turn to blink, “God…you're perfect. B-But I'm fine, for real. I was fucking around.”

“Oh.”

Maybe it's for the best. If he ate you out, that would lead to him making love to you. And it would be your first time with him so he'd want to take his time. It's not ideal when having dinner plans in a few hours. Miguel wasn’t the type to stand anyone up.

You relax when he backs down, not upset anymore.

Dana sends him the location of the restaurant.

It's about ten minutes away from the hotel, tucked in between a confectionery and a distillery. Both of you make a plan to stop by the confectionery after. His eyes adjust at the dim atmosphere of the restaurant, creating an intimate ambiance.

Miguel gave the reservation name and held your hand, following the waiter throughout the restaurant. There, they’re led to the back where the VIP tables are. Larger tables with comfortable seating. Tyler and Dana sat at the rounded one that’s next to a fountain. The latter waves her fingers in greeting while the former makes an effort to be polite when reaching over to shake Miguel’s hand and kissing yours.

Miguel holds back in grimacing at Tyler touching you.

“Aren’t you a surprise?” He says, eying you up and down. “We weren’t expecting Mike to find another person so quickly.”

Dana gasps, hitting Tyler’s arm. “Hey, I thought I said not to call him that anymore.”

“Force of habit.”

Miguel’s upper lip twitches. He’s always hated that damn nickname. Ever since he found out that Tyler’s his actual father, he wonders if it’s the name he’s always wanted to call him instead of Miguel.

You force out a chuckle, “Well, it hasn’t been that long. And look at Dana! She’s doing exceptionally well for someone that’s also moved on so quickly. It’s almost like it was instant, really.”

Tyler and Dana shift in their seats, sitting up straighter if possible. You keep going, starting to casually gaze at the menu.

“Did you all order yet?”

“We wanted to wait for you two.” Dana says.

“Aww, that’s nice of you.” You look at Miguel, “Isn’t that nice, Mig?”

“Yes, it is.”

No one says anything at the table. Even as Miguel searches through his options; sushi, udon, salad. The air felt thick. Tense. He didn’t like this. He should've just went out to get burgers with you like you suggested during the road trip.

The waiter comes by, starting everyone off with some drinks.

Both of you decided on the yuzu lemonade that's offered while Dana and Tyler go for a brandy.

“So, how did you two meet?”

Miguel glances over at you, who’s unfazed. He didn’t want to fabricate a story of how he met you, with your ass in his face. While making the trip up, he expressed concern about you and him once more. You wanted to see their reactions when telling people that you strip as a side job, but thought it was more appropriate to say that you dance. You didn’t want to be inappropriate in front of his boss/father.

“We met at a club!”

Dana’s eyes go wide, “A club? I didn’t know you go to clubs, Miguel.”

“It’s a recent development.” He states while sipping his lemonade.

“I wish you can see him, he couldn’t keep his hands off of me.” Miguel does his best not to choke while you giggle, “I changed your life that night, didn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you did.”

You wink at him and Dana clears her throat, “That’s…that’s good to know. It’s good to try new things, right?”

Tyler’s lip curls upward, “I guess. Didn’t think you had it in you, son.”

Miguel grimaces, but he plays it off as if he just had a brain freeze. He appreciates you caressing his temples and leans into your touch.

“Oh the waiter is here!” Dana’s shouting alerts a few nearby tables.

After ordering appetizers, a sashimi platter, and a main course which consisted of wagyu, the menus were gone and the couples went back on track.

“Do you work?” Tyler asks you, “Miguel here is a busy man. He’s often home late due to the mountains of work I put on him, so I don’t want you to end up all alone as pretty as you are.”

Miguel’s fists clench under the table. Did Tyler just call you pretty? It’s true, but you should hear that from your boyfriend and no one else.

You laugh, “I do work, yes. Two part-time jobs. I work at a retail store at a mall and then I dance on the side.”

“You dance?” Dana questions, “What type of dancing that you do?”

“Pole dancing. It’s been a huge thing these past couple of years.”

“Wow, I have heard about that. Although,” She examines you, eyes going up and down. “isn’t it difficult due to someone of your stature?”

Your head tilts and Miguel immediately cuts in, “What do you mean by that?”

“Oh.” She rapidly blinks, shifting in her seat. “I just mean I’ve seen a lot of people with much…slimmer body types participating in that type of dance, that’s all.”

Miguel scoffs, but you snort, “Girl, you need to expand your horizons. Pole dancing isn’t limited to skinny girls. You should see me dance sometime. You too, Tyler.”

They look at each other while Miguel tries not to make an outrage at what Dana was implying. You slide your hand over his under the table, squeezing it affectionately. It helps him calm down.

“Sorry, I wasn’t implying-”

“Too late. I knew what you meant.”

Dana stammers, but is saved by their appetizers.

You immediately forget the entire conversation and start eating your sashimi. Smearing a ton of wasabi on each piece and eating it with ease. Not ruining your lip gloss in the process.

“Miggy?” You called and hold up a roll for him to taste. He quickly eats it, the burn from of the wasabi shooting all over his face from his ears all the way up to his eyes. “Good, right?”

“Mhm.”

Dana eats one of her spring rolls and sends the rest over to Tyler, who doesn’t eat it from her hand and instead grabs it.

“Speaking of jobs,” You say, dabbing your lips with a napkin, “do you work, Dana?”

“Oh, no I don’t currently have a job.”

“You don’t work at that department store anymore?” Miguel asks, knowing she liked working there.

“I told her to quit.” Tyler takes a sip from his glass, “I’m providing for her now. That’s what a real man should do for the woman he cares for.”

You laugh loudly, alerting the tables nearby. “Oh my god, how old are you?” Tyler’s displeasure doesn’t go unnoticed and you continue, “Sorry, sorry I know that’s rude to ask. It’s just that type of mentality is a little dated, you know?”

“No, I don’t know.” He grunts, ordering another drink.

“It’s okay. I understand. I would love to be taken care of so more power to you, girl.” You raise your glass in solidarity. “I’m sure it gets boring since Tyler here is a busy man being a CEO and all.”

Dana waves you away, “No, it’s alright. I can usually manage just fine while he’s gone.”

“Ooh, so you’re spending up his money?”

“W-Well…”

You lean forward, holding up the dessert menu to act as a barrier between the men side. “Go ahead, it’s just between us girlies.”

She nervously laughs, putting down the menu gently. “No, I don’t just shop. I’ve been getting into hobbies like golf, since Tyler plays.”

Tyler nods, halfway listening as he’s checking his phone.

“Golf? That’s an…interesting hobby to get into.”

Miguel doesn’t say anything, but his scrunched up face probably gives it away. Since when is Dana interested in golf?

The main course arrives and you quickly take a picture of the wagyu course before digging in. There’s mainly silence, besides the gentle music playing throughout the speakers. You’re obviously enjoying the meal, saying they should come back here next year.

“Are you ready for the banquet?” Dana asks Miguel.

“Yes. I have everything prepared and ready to go.”

“With his cute little flash cards.” You nudge his side and he smiles bashfully.

Dana giggles, “You’re still using flash cards? Ever since high school, you never stopped using them.”

“They’re very handy and efficient.”

“I know, I know.”

After dinner, no one takes dessert to go. Tyler pulls out his card when the check arrives and stops Miguel from pulling out his own.

“My treat.”

While walking out of the restaurant, you say your goodbyes.

“Thank you for dinner.”

“Of course, it’s no problem.” Dana waves the two of you goodbye when Tyler whisks her off, leaving Miguel and you alone.

“I should’ve had a drink back there.” You lean against him, sighing from fake exhaustion.

“Well, the hotel has mini wine bottles that’s complementary.”

“Say less.”

After coming back from the double date to wind down, you suggested going in the hot tub. He did read a study saying the jets helps relax your muscles. He just didn’t expect to see you like this inside. Relaxing with a mini bottle of prosecco in your hand. Entranced at the multitude of lights glowing in the water.

When he walks out on the patio, you lock eyes and smile at him.

“Care to join me?”

“Yes.”

Miguel steps in, only wearing his swim trunks. He doesn’t miss how your eyes scan his upper body. Taking in how moderately fit he is. He holds in getting flustered at your gaze before sitting down, not too close from your own space, but not too far. The jets against his muscles help them to relax and he needed it after dinner.

You’re still looking at him, eyes lowered. That could just be the alcohol in your system. He’d get some too, but decided not to.

“Did you enjoy dinner?”

“Yeah. Did you?”

“I did, despite the bullshit from your ex.”

Miguel pouts, “I’m very sorry about that.”

You shrug and remain silent.

The led lights shifts colors and he’s able to take note of your swimsuit. A black, two piece that ties in the front of your chest. He doesn’t see any sparkles and is surprised that it’s plain. Miguel scoots a little closer to get a good look. Maybe you have something sparkling in the back?

When he does, you smirk before taking a sip from your wine bottle. “That’s as close as you’re gonna go?”

Miguel perks up, quickly moving back to his original position. “Sorry, I wanted to give you space.”

“Here you go again…” You place your bottle to the side, “I don’t want space from you. I’ll tell you otherwise.”

Dana always wanted some distance from him. She liked her space and never hesitated to tell him. Although, occasionally she gave mixed signals. Her tone being lighter than her words. Saying she wanted to be alone, yet she remained in his presence.

Miguel moves closer. Your face lights up, matching the intensity of the hot tub lights. It makes his heart pound in his chest when his arm brushes along yours. He exhales to lessen his anxiety.

“Is this better?”

“Much.”

You trace his arm with your fingertips. The water droplets running down his bicep and back to the hot tub. Goosebumps gathers on his skin from your touch. Not to mention the blood rushing down to his lower half. You keep gazing at him, a low smile on your features, enjoying the fact he’s right next to you.

“Are you nervous?”

He gulps, hoping you aren’t catching his strange behavior. “A-About?”

“The banquet tomorrow. You’re presenting.”

“Oh! No, no I’m okay. I have my flash cards and there’s rehearsal tomorrow, so I’m prepared.”

“Good.” The water sloshes when you move in front of him, getting in between his legs. Not there. Anywhere but there. “It just sounded like you thought I was talking about something else though.”

Miguel shakes his head, “No, I knew what you were talking about.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you positive?”

“Yes.”

You snort, your hand on his chest and his cock twitches at the contact. “It’s okay, Miguel. You know it’s just us here.”

You wrap your arms around his waist, hugging him. Your head on his chest, right where his beating heart lie. He knows you can hear it. The way it’s wrapping against his chest like a drum.

“Am I scaring you?” You playfully pout. “You can tell me.”

“You’re not.”

Miguel wants to smack himself for making you think that. He thought he’s over being nervous, right when there’s a gorgeous human being like you in front of him. His actions are showing otherwise.

“Then…?”

Miguel cups your face, leaning down to give you the most gentlest kiss in the entire world. He licks his lips at the taste of prosecco, before giving you another kiss. And another. And another. Soon, he’s making out with you in the hot tub.

Your lips follow along his. Your hands grip his forearms as if he’s going to part from you. Miguel doesn’t and keeps you confined to his embrace. Your tongues brush along one another, entangled in bliss.

He sighs against your lips and turns you around. Your back against the tub. The kiss gets heavier. Messier. Miguel is swallowing you whole, securing you with his body. His palm presses along your breast, missing how it felt under him. He smiles against your lips when he fondles it and you moan.

Miguel’s cock is hard against your thigh when he does it once more. His thumb rubbing along your clothed nipple, feeling it harden under his touch.

You quickly pull away. He doesn’t have time to be concerned when you motion towards your top.

“Take it off.” Miguel starts reaching around, but you snicker and stop him. “It unties in the front.”

“Oh.”

You poke your chest out, allowing him to untie your top. Miguel sticks his index finger under the knot, pulling it up to loosen it. Once so, he pulls the fabric apart as if he was unveiling a grand surprise. Your breasts, glistening from the water of the hot tub. You barely have a chance to remove it completely when he pulls you close to him.

Miguel’s mouth latches on to your neck, suckling on the skin. He knows it’s not a good idea to get too crazy with you, knowing your dress shows your neck. So after licking and kissing, inhaling your signature scent, he moves lower to the apex of your chest. He suckles on your breast, groaning against your skin. His tongue circling around your nipple while your hand grips his nape.

“Fuck me…” You shudder against him when he switches to your other breast. Suckling and flicking your nipple while he pinches the other, rolling it under his index finger and thumb. He grinds his hips against you to show you how you’re affecting him. No sign of nervousness when his pleasure takes over.

Then his phone alarm goes off.

It scares the two of you. You hide along his body as if someone was about to walk in and see your upper half. Miguel quickly reaches over to grab his phone, turning off the alarm completely.

“What was that?”

He facepalms, “I…set that alarm so I know when it’s time for me to sleep. The rehearsal is early in the morning.”

You check your phone, grimacing at the ten-thirty time. “Really?”

“The rehearsal is important. I want to be wide awake.”

“Miguel…” You gesture to your bare chest and his hard cock against his pants. “You can’t stay up a little late?”

Miguel rubs his neck. He wants to finish what he started with you. But the thought of him wanting to take his time with you came back.

“I want to have sex with you.”

You grin, “So do I.”

“You are very attractive and enticing and I’m trying not to rush into it because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable-”

“You practically fingered me back at the club.”

Miguel sighs, “I know, but I do want you, really. I want to take my time.” He gives you a simple peck.

“I get it.” You reciprocate once more, before glancing down at his erection. Miguel knows its going to be hard to sleep like this for a while, but it’s not like he hasn’t had this before. You trace his swim trunks slowly. “We don’t have to have sex right now though.”

He raises a brow in question, “What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say…” You cup his dick through his pants, making him hiss at the touch. “I can make sure you have a goodnight sleep.”

Miguel checks the time. He can do with another twenty to twenty-five minutes.

“Okay.”

You have him sit on the edge of the hot tub. You pull down his pants enough to release his uncircumcised cock. His father, George, decided against circumcision in the delivery room. He’s learned to accept it, but issue a warning whenever his lovers is about to see it.

Dana was flabbergasted. She eventually got used to it and reassured him that it wasn’t his fault. You didn’t say anything. You didn’t say anything when you gave him a hand job at the club. Not a peep when his large shaft is in your face.

You admire it for a moment like a work of art. The sight of you licking your lips causes some cum to leak. The droplet slowly crawling halfway down his shaft before you lick it up. Your tongue makes him groan. He watches you stroke him, while pulling back the hood.

Miguel bites his lip when your mouth encloses around him. His eyes rolling back as you slide down his shaft. His pre cum across your tongue. He gasps when you manage to take him completely, your nose ticking his curly hairs. Your saliva coating his length. His hand grips the nape of your neck when you slide back, creating a moderate pace.

Sure, it’s been a while since he’s had sex.

It’s probably he feels so sensitive. The way his tip hits the back of your throat. His hood grazing along the roof of your mouth. How your breasts move in tandem of your movements, still soaked from the water. He wants to lick them. Nibble on your nipples while he’s buried deep in your cunt. Or maybe you’d let him cum all over your chest. Coat you in his sticky seed as proof that you’re his.

Miguel whimpers, not once removing his hand from you. He doesn’t remove eye contact from you, watching you in what feels like you’re sucking his soul away from him. Can he die like this? From your slick, wet mouth? Your fingertips stroking his balls every time you fully take him in.

He can’t take any more of this. It’s getting too much.

“O-Oh I’m…oh I’m…” He whines, struggling to tell you what’s coming. You don’t pull away. You take his load of cum when he shudders. The grip on your neck getting stronger while his seed spills down your throat and you swallow it all.

He tries to gather his bearings, taking deep breaths while you admire your handiwork. Your cocky smile telling him everything that he needs to know what you did a good job.

Miguel fixes his pants and gets back in the tub. Your brows furrow at his action when he picks you up with one arm, settling you on the other edge. He pulls off your bikini bottoms, tossing it aside to have you spread your legs. Eating your pussy is something that has to wait. Otherwise, he’d spend all night between your thighs.

“Your turn.”

He silences your moan with a kiss when he rubs your clit. His lips never leaves yours when a thick finger pushes inside you. Miguel falters at how slick your sex feels. How easy it is to bump along your soaked walls. He immediately adds another finger, absorbing your cries of pleasure. Your nails dig into your bicep, not able to do much besides take him.

Miguel’s fingers pumping into you all while thumbing your clit. You always sound so pretty. He wants to insert your moans into his head and section them in an archive. You push your hips against his fingers. He holds you still with an arm secure around your waist. He takes in your body jolting, toes curling as he doesn’t stop playing with your cunt.

He knows you’re almost there when you start squirming, trying to escape. Miguel doesn’t let you, keeping you secure when you reach your peak. You crying out under his lips as he feels your pussy get soaked. He keeps pumping into you, extending the duration of your climax. All while nipping at your bottom lip.

Miguel doesn’t let go while you come down from your high, your breaths fanning his neck. He strokes your back while kissing your forehead.

“Now, you’ll sleep good too.”

He doesn’t want to get out of bed.

Even as the alarm rings to tell him to get up, Miguel’s too busy being absorbed by you. You’re warm and soft. Fitting along his body perfectly like a puzzle piece.

When you awake, your lashes flutter open like a dream. He can’t help but kiss your forehead, holding you closer to him.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too.” You turn and hug him, his chest overshadowing your entire face. “What time is it?”

“Six-thirty.”

You perk up, “Breakfast just started thirty minutes ago.”

“I know. I’ll go down and bring you back something. You don’t have to-”

Before he can say anything else, you sat up. “Nuh-uh, I’m coming down with you.”

“You don’t have to. You can get some more sleep-”

“I’m coming.” You give him a big kiss on his cheek before going to the bathroom.

Miguel stumbles out of bed to get dressed in a reasonable attire.

He’s so used to going alone while he’s with Dana. She wanted to sleep in while he wanted to take advantage of the breakfast the hotel had to offer. He’d always bring her back food, not after eating alone by the window, with his omelet and fresh fruit.

The breakfast area was in a smaller hall.

Assortments of breakfast, rows of cereal, granola, and oatmeal on a variety of tables. An omelet bar with an extensive amount of choices from jalapenos to shredded cheese. Waffle and pancake makers that were right next to a juice bar. All topped off with a display of fresh, cut fruit for anyone to enjoy.

“Goddamn, this is a lot of food.”

Miguel nods in agreement, “I know. I usually stick with an omelet and fruit.”

“That’s it? No waffles? No fruit parfaits?”

“I just focused on eating so I can take food back to Dana-”

“Enough about her.” You silence him with a finger to his lips, “When do you have to go to rehearsal?”

“Nine o’clock.”

“You have plenty of time.”

Miguel grabs a few plates via your instructions. You wanted to have a grand breakfast, since the hotel offered so many options. The best plan was to divide and conquer. You focused on the waffles and the fruit while Miguel went to order omelets and meat. The entire hall wasn’t too crowded either. The later crowd usually arrived around 9 - 10 and the hall is packed.

So it was easy to ask for two omelets, filled with his usual spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, and cheese, then pile up his plate with sausage, bacon, turkey bacon, and ham. You two reconvened and sat at the spot Miguel always sits at. That had another view of the lake nearby.

He admires the spread with you. You quickly take a picture of the food and him before doing your cute shimmy.

“You did an excellent job, partner.”

“I just had years of experience.” He hands you your omelet, checking to see if there’s any meat you wanted before diving in.

Food at the Sunset Grove Hotel never disappoints. They’re always consistent all the years Miguel’s been able to come there. It’s the one thing he looks forward to every year.

“I can see why you like this spot.”

Before he can ask why, a few ducks land in front of the window, taking in the sun. They’re so close to the window, contempt in just existing. It makes their little breakfast spot peaceful, blocking out the hustle and bustle.

“Yeah, it’s nice to share it with somebody.”

Your lips purse, but go back to normal. “This is our special spot now. We’re going to sit here every year.”

“While eating waffles.” He raises his glass and clinks it with yours.

“While eating waffles.”

When it’s close to rehearsal, Miguel walks you back to the room. It’s supposed to end around twelve, which gives him some time to rest then get dressed for the banquet later. He goes to apologize about leaving you alone for a few hours, but you don’t mind it. You reassure him that you can keep yourself entertained.

You kiss him in goodbye and he lingers in that kiss all the way through rehearsal.

Miguel never has any problems when he rehearses.

He’s always prepared with his flash cards that he memorized. His section was never long. After researching what was the best time to have a presentation during a high end event, he resorted to seven to eight minutes. Not too long and not too short.

All of his presentations included whatever Tyler wanted him to say to get the shareholders invested in the company. This year, he managed to correlate his spider DNA work with a drug early in the works. Project Rapture. He hoped that name was just a placeholder.

While communicating with his other coworkers who was also presenting, Tyler didn’t bother him. He didn’t bombard him with questions of the presentation like other years. Or make a sly comment here and there to embarrass him. No, he remained idle. Hardly saying a word in his direction besides a ‘Morning’.

Did it have something to do with the dinner last night?

After rehearsal, Miguel walks over to his boss, who’s currently with the coordinator about the finishing touches of the banquet.

“Sorry to interrupt.” He says, “I wanted to ask about my presentation?

Tyler quickly waves the coordinator away, wanting her to give him a moment. “What about it?”

“It’s…okay, right? No glaring issues or concerns?”

“Yes, it’s fine. Is that all?” Before Miguel got a word out, he’s cut off. “Good, now if you’ll excuse me.”

With a brush of his shoulder, Tyler was gone, back with the coordinator. Miguel’s boss was always busy, but he still found time to heckle him. He wasn’t sure what to do but decided to go back to the room.

On the way to the elevator, he checks his messages.

Gabriel and the family asked how the trip was going. His brother insinuating if he, in his words, ‘bumped uglies’ yet. That earned an eye roll and a ‘not yet’. His mother requested to bring back those macaroons she liked, as she does every year, while also filling up his messages with the work in progress of the house. The living and dining room completely gutted with tarp on the floor. He managed to see the color she was working with which was a bright orange. An interesting color.

You sent him messages, mainly flirty of how good you bet he looks on the podium. That you won’t know how to act when he puts on his suit. Also about a rerun episode of a cop sitcom you were watching.

Then Dana sent him a message. Miguel will admit that he ignored the one she sent him last night while he was with you in the hot tub. She asked if Tyler behaved well during rehearsal, knowing how he heckled Miguel when it came to it.

So that’s the reason his boss acted strange.

Miguel’s stomach twists when he stepped out the elevator. He should be grateful, relieved at Dana’s generosity. Yet, the only emotion that stirred inside was annoyance. It’s hard to explain and Miguel wondered if it was just because he was wracking his brain for no reason at Tyler’s behavior. But it’s not a good feeling to have when he’s going to see them again later tonight.

So he pushed it away, shoving his phone in his pocket.

You were busy. When Miguel came in, you had your wig on its head stand for tonight. Your makeup out and ready to go for later. You were watching TV when you jump off the bed to kiss his lips in greeting.

“Rehearsal went well?”

“Yeah, it did.” He didn’t want to tell you about Dana texting him. He had a feeling you get annoyed every time she was mentioned.

“Good. Now, I had a quick question for you.” You motion to your dress hanging up in the closet, “Should I wear a thong or a bikini under it?”

“Thong-oh, uh, I mean, whichever you think is comfortable.”

“You said thong first, like I knew you would.”

Miguel felt the blood rush to his cheeks while you kissed them.

He spent the few hours he had relaxing. His suit already pressed to his liking. Miguel watched an episode of that cop show with you before taking a nap on your lap. Your hand stroking through his soft hair contributed to it. Your sweet smell comforting him, carrying him away in a bed of clouds.

If the banquet didn't happen tonight, he'd be in bed with you for the rest of the day.

After hearing his ‘get ready’ alarm, you two were up. You take showers before getting ready in your respective areas. Miguel gave you space when you mentioned you wanted to wow him. So he got dressed in the living room.

With thirty minutes until the banquet starts, you came out of the bedroom.

“Prepare to be speechless-whoa.”

Miguel’s eyes went wide at seeing you. Your black, sequin covered dress hugging your body. He couldn’t help but gaze at your cleavage, how nicely held up together your breasts are. And your hair. Long, full brown curls that grazes your shoulders.

“Whoa, yourself.” He stepped closer, still admiring you. “You’re beautiful. Gorgeous. It was worth the wait.”

The entire time you're speechless. Not saying a word as your eyes trace his body. Miguel shifts, your silence being unnatural.

“Is something wrong?”

“Is something wrong.” You huff, closing the distance. “Look at you, baby.”

Miguel glances over at the mirror, seeing himself with his hair parted to the side. Small curls framing his face. And he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

“Oh, the no glasses? I-I don’t wear my contacts often. Only for special occasions.”

“You’re hot as hell right now.” You trace his chest up and down, eyes getting that same spark as it did in the hot tub. “I mean, you're always hot but…”

He shudders when you press against his body. Just once, he cups your bottom, groping your cheek. He remembers that you're wearing a thong underneath this.

“I don't want to be late…”

“I know.”

No one makes an effort to pull away. The kiss you two have is gentle. It's slow, yet heated. Miguel doesn’t want to ruin your makeup. He wants to hike up your dress, pull that fabric to the side and sink himself inside you. Rock his hips along yours while your manicured nails dig into his shoulder.

They just have to get through this night.

After that tense kiss, you take a few pictures together. A cute video in the mirror. You send that to your multiple group chats before grabbing your purse. Miguel takes your hand, kissing it while admiring you by the door one more time. You squeeze it to let him know that you're ready.

The two of you make your way towards the banquet.

Tags:

@miguelzslvtz @kitcatcrunch @nina-from-317

@slut4oscarissac23 @anythigbutmiguel @moonlight00sthings

@bajbr @freehentai @chubbybyunnie

@ilikeowlsidkwhy @questionable-behaviour @imamexican

@tatatida @aphinthestars @bluesidez

@saintdiior @prettygirleli @twinkdrakez

@vicravluv @brown-eyed-thang @peachipeachy

@sonicbutbutter @mermaidian02 @celi-xxmoon

@roserfz27 @hellokittyloverrxox @sweeetas

@avengersinitiative2012 @takeyour-pants-off @avis15

[thatswhatsushesaid]

if i had a nickel for every time i encountered some version of the following observation in the mdzs fandom:

"i'll never understand why fans of jin guangyao and jiang cheng and xue yang keep insisting on defending these characters' virtues. you can just admit that your favourite characters are assholes and terrible people. it's fine. why are you defending them."

i could probably buy myself a packet of some really sick edibles the next time i hit up the dispensary. but more to the point, what truly frustrates me about this observation (aside from the implicit arrogance that seems smugly baked into it every time i stumble upon it) is how completely it misunderstands what villain and antagonist fans are doing when we discuss the positive attributes of our favourite characters. it's the assumption that what we're doing must always be about defence, about arguments, about insisting that the characters we like are Good, Actually, And Here's Why--when in reality i have never, ever, ever encountered a fan of any of these characters who has been interested in definitively declaring that any of them are good or bad people. like that just straight up hasn't been part of the conversations we've been having with each other.

like, what you are interpreting as us "defending a character's virtues" is very often just us literally stating how the characters' actions have had a positive impact on other characters' lives, or the world more broadly. or we are just trying to compare acts of cruelty/violence committed by one of these characters vs the acts of cruelty/violence committed by the protagonist and his inner circle, to draw inferences about one or both characters, to better understand them and the story and how they illustrate various themes, whether mxtx meant for them to appear in the text or not. it's just... analysis. and yes, a core competency when it comes to literary analysis means being able to critically defend your arguments using examples from the source material.

jokes about the jgy or jc stans and "defence squads" aside, it's not about defending individual characters, because the characters don't need a defence, because they're not real. but the work we've all collectively put into examining these characters, and contextualizing their actions within their circumstances within the source material, is certainly real, and it makes sense that we'd want to step up and defend our work when people who disagree with us choose to misrepresent our arguments.

[sparks-and-smoke]

Hello!

What about an avengers reader and bucky fic where reader dosnt realize they are in an depressive episode but bucky or steve or both ( platonically or romantically) notices.

Haha I just surfaced from a major depressive episode so that's where the inspiration came from.

Also hi!

Hi <3 this one is a little longer because, well I guess I needed it too. Plus fluffy lovey Stucky is my bread and butter. 

Characters/Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky barnes x reader, Stucky (but not really the focus)

Content/Warnings: mental health, depression, anxiety, self care

Author Note: as someone who also struggles with mental health I personally loved this ask. Thank you, and I hope your feeling better sweets. Take care. 

(Bonus note from my editor @voice-of-velhart)

Editor Note: Depression is not an easy thing to make your way out of, but I'm proud of ya'll for pushing through it and I'm glad your here. <3

The brain fog was the thing that set in first. It was hard to fall out of a routine living in the compound. Day in and Day out it was training and meal regimens. Sparring and paperwork. Someone was always around and yet you felt like you were drifting. Going through the motions with little to no reason to do so other than if you didn’t what else would fill your day. No one seemed to notice your lack of enthusiasm, or how your typically attentive nature had been slipping lately. Your reports were still on time and you weren’t pulling your punches in training so you were probably fine… right?

It was burn out or maybe you were feeling under the weather. At least that's what you told them if they asked. And while your friends and team loved you, they were busy people with the literal weight of the world on their shoulders. So who could blame them when they didn’t keep tabs, or at least you thought they didn’t keep tabs. 

Bucky sat in the library trying to find a fantasy book he hadn’t already read. Tony was a brilliant guy but he had horrible taste in written fiction. As he perused, he kept you in his peripheral vision. You stared down at your now cold cup of coffee looking lost even though you weren’t moving. He had noticed you are like this a lot the last few weeks. You shower less and less, your normally shiny maintained hair more often than not on the greasy and dull side of the spectrum. And he hadn’t seen you touch the piano or your switch in days. He was getting concerned. 

He taps Steve with his foot. “What?” 

The big guy had been deep in thought, sprawled out in a lounge chair with his nose in a tablet. “Have you noticed Angel is different lately?” 

Steve glanced up, taking a look at their girl as she swirled the coffee in her mug, totally disassociating. “Yeah, she said she was under the weather. I tried to get it out of her what was wrong but she’s being cagey.” his brows knit together in a mask of concern. “Sure is lingering a long time to be just a bug, don't cha think?”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah I do… what are we gonna do about it.” 

Steve sighed heavily and set down his tablet, giving the issue his full attention. He thinks back to those long cold winters in brooklyn. When the snow was deep and his bones would ache so bad he didn’t wanna get out of bed. There were always little things that would help him get out of those slumps. Bucky making him get up and shower was always a good start, followed by warm food and if they could find it, sunlight. 

“I think we're gonna start by helping our girl feel human again..” 

~~~~

Steve and Bucky formed a game plan. The two men are nothing if not efficient and tactical. Steve went down stairs to start food. Something starchy and savory. Comfort food. Meanwhile, Bucky started operation Angel Self Care. 

“Angel.” Bucky's voice was soft, wrapped in warm velvet. And you barely registered it before he was crouching down and smoothing back your hair from your face. Taking your untouched cup out of your hand. “How long have you been sitting here, beautiful?” 

You shook your head as if you could wave away the mist behind your eyes. “Oh, I don’t know. Lost track of time I guess.” Bucky just hums. Yeah, he knows that feeling. He also knew it never led anywhere good. 

“Lost in thought?” 

You looked up to meet his gaze, warmth and concern mixing in the set of his jaw and the draw of his brows. “Yeah I guess. I’m fine babe. Don’t worry about it I’m just..”

“Feeling under the weather. Yeah, I know. You’ve been saying that a lot lately. I’m starting to think it’s a cop out.”

It is and you know it but you don’t know what else to say. “I just. I don’t know what wrong with me lately. I just… I don’t wanna do anything. Like anything ya know? It’s like sometimes waking up alone is all I have in me for the day. Do you know how that feels.”

If anyone knew how you felt it was Bucky. Hell sometimes he still felt that way, decades of torture and actions out of his own control had left him with more then his own share of depressive tendencies that drag him deep down under the current of reality pretty regularly. There are days he goes completely nonverbal, only going through the motions on autopilot. The only people who can pull him out are Steve, and you. And therapy, lots of therapy. “Of course I do. You know I do. But Angel, you can’t live there. It’s ok to feel it, but you need to acknowledge it and try to crawl back out. It’s ok if you can’t do it alone baby.”

You feel a thick lump forming in your throat that you can’t quite swallow down. The urge to argue, to tell him your fine and he’s being overbearing was there. But more then that you knew he was right. Something was wrong, and you couldn’t climb out on your own. But you weren’t ready to say it. Not yet. 

“Come on honey, let’s get you cleaned up and get some food in your belly. That might help a little.” Bucky didn’t wait for you to protest, he slid one arm under your legs and the other around your back and headed up to Steve’s quarters. Not caring in the slightest if teammates or recruits saw. That was a problem for later Bucky. 

~~~~

The big six had full apartments in the upper levels of the compound. Which means he could squirrel you away to Steve’s private bath and get you in the shower. Vetiver and pine, a familiar comforting scent. Gently and quietly he started the shower to an acceptable temperature for you (hot enough to turn your skin the next shade of blush.) and stripped you down to help you in. 

There was nothing sexual about the way he did this. It was all just about loving you. Helping you, as  he guided you into the water and let it wash away your stress. He pulled you back against his chest. “There’s my girl. That feel better Angel?” 

You nod as the smell of Steve’s body wash fills the small space. “Do you mind if I wash you?” 

With your permission he sets about cleaning you up. Slow loving strokes over your body as he pulls you back to lean on his chest. “You know you can talk to us about anything right. Steve and I love you. You’ve been here for us. Let us do the same.” 

“I would tell you… if I knew why I felt this way.” You confess. “If I had some inkling of what I needed to get out to feel better but I don’t.” 

Your voice wavers and it breaks Bucky's heart just a little. He wants to fix it. But he knows he can’t. All he can do is be there for you. “Well, I’m glad you trust me enough to help you.” He tilts your head back. Starting to wash your hair. “We’ll just take it one step at a time till we find ground again. Ok?

~~~~ 

Downstairs Steve fretted over the stove. Sweet potato pierogi and with onions and butter. It was easy, simple even. But it always made him feel better as a kid and the few times he had made it you liked it. He looked up as he heard feet pad down into the kitchen. Hair still damp, but clean. In fresh sweats and Bucky's shirt. 

“Ahh, there you are. Do you feel better?”

“Yeah… a little.” You admit, sitting on a stool across the island. 

Steve rounds the counter to kiss your forehead. “You look better.” He inhaled her skin, the longer scent of his soap and Bucky's touch still there, along with that sweet undertone that was all you. “Smell better too.” He teased. 

You breath out your nose with a half hearted huff. “Thanks.” 

“Always angel. Here. I made you some food. You don’t have to eat it all but at least a few bites would ease my mind. And then maybe we can go up to the room and get you some sun hmm? Would you be ok with that.” Steve slid the colorful pasta across the counter to you with a warm smile. Trying to coax you to follow his lead. 

“Yeah. Sounds good.” You eat mostly in silence. Steve and Bucky don’t push you to talk as you fill your stomach. You know they're worried. But even just these small gestures are helping you feel like maybe there is an end to this malaise. You see Steve smile and kiss Bucky softly in thanks as they wait for you to tell them you're ready. 

They spend the rest of the day trying to get you some sun. Fresh air and movement. 

“We’re gonna do this a little everyday till you start feeling better. And if you need it or feel up to it we can look into talking to a therapist too.” Steve assures. His hand firmly laced through your own. “You are not alone in this. We all feel this way sometimes. But I’m proud of you for trying love.”

A flicker of hope flies in your chest at his words. You aren’t alone, this isn’t forever. And your men are gonna love you through it till you can do it on you own.

[ernmark]

I apologize for derailing, but I recently had a very similar experience with reading The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde as an adult (and specifically, as a queer adult who last read it as a teenager raised in a religiously conservative family).

In that story, Jekyll's transformation into Hyde loosens his inhibitions and dramatically changes his appearance, but it doesn't wipe his memories of the things that he does, and he seems to have Jekyll's same goals and knowledge.

And... we are never actually told what he does for the most part. The entirety of the story is framed as gossip shared by two of his contemporaries who see what happens from the outside. But they keep bringing up details that my younger self read as 'sinister' and my adult self is clocking entirely differently.

We're told he had a wild youth, but that in his later years as a bachelor he's a kind and respectable member of society. Upon his deathbed he confesses that he starts taking the Hyde serum deliberately, and then continues taking it because he wants to keep experiencing the things he's doing as Hyde without the repercussions falling back on him.

My younger self-- based on what I've seen in pretty much every adaptation since it was written-- assumed that 'the things he's doing as Hyde' were decidedly serial-killer-y.

As an adult, I asked myself if maybe he was gay. If he'd already suffered the repercussions of being too open about it in his youth, and being forced into the closet. And here he finds his salvation in the chance to go back out and live his authentic self while essentially shapeshifted, without the pressure of society and his reputation threatening to ruin his life.

In the original story, there are three acts of violence that Hyde is guilty of: in the first, he's marching through the street while distracted and runs into a little girl. He's distracted, clearly doesn't see her, and is cornered by a crowd of angry people and made to make reparations. It's an accident, albeit one he handles poorly.

(What is it that has him so distracted that he nearly tramples someone without noticing? My younger self read it as callous indifference, my older self has been around the block a few times.)

The second is a world apart-- he straight up murders a man in broad daylight, beating him so violently that the cane he uses for a bludgeon snaps under his effort. Not just a man, though, but a member of Parliament, who is well liked and highly respected. (And that detail, who he is, rings all too true for me, especially now. The story gives no indication about why Hyde pursued and violently murdered that man in particular. But given the laws in place at the time, and the people who would have been making speeches about them before voting on those laws, I could imagine. I can think of a few things that would push me to bludgeon a politician to death if I had a chance.)

The third is his suicide.

After the trampling, Jekyll stops taking the serum. He essentially puts Hyde back in the closet, with no intention of ever letting him out. But after that point, he's spent so much time as Hyde that he starts transforming again against his will, often in the middle of what else he was doing. Despite his best efforts, he keeps outing himself.

After the murder, he locks himself in his lab and desperately tries to come up with a 'cure' to stop his transformations, but repeatedly fails. He plans to take his life, but worries that he won't follow through when he's Hyde. By the end, he's left with a choice: to live the rest of his life as Hyde, facing the consequences of everything he has done and everything that he wants to do, or to die alone locked in that little room.

I don't necessarily think that any of the things I read into it now, as an adult, have any bearing on what Stevenson wrote. He was a contemporary of Wilde, and Wilde himself was far from the only queer author writing at the time, but that was far from the only reason why upper-class people would have had to conduct themselves with fear and secrecy in that time.

I think it does do a lot to make me infinitely more sympathetic of Jekyll-- and particularly of his choice to keep taking the serum after that first time. And that gives the story a lot more depth and dimension than I felt for it as a kid.

Rereading Dickens Christmas Carol for the first time in a long time. And the more I reread, the more it strikes me how seamlessly a queer reading could slip within these pages. Not an especially twee reading, wherein all Scrooge's troubles start and end with grief over Jacob Marley's death. For we know that Scrooge was a "Tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner!" And we know that he and Marley were "two kindred spirits"

And perhaps that very fact makes the similarities to queer life, unintended as they most likely were by Mr. Dickens, achingly poignant to me. Scrooge is, we're told, "secret and self-contained and solitary as an oyster." How much that resonates, for so many of us who shield our innermost selves but from a select group of friends. And we know that Scrooge and Marley were, at the very least, certainly that for one another. Scrooge is Marley's sole mourner; his sole executor and beneficiary; and even Dickens notes, "friend." How reminiscent is that of queer couples across history, estranged from their families?

Scrooge lives in a set of chambers that once belonged to Marley—clearly Dickens wanted us to believe Scrooge gave up his own dwellings after Marley's death to economize. But with only a flicker of change, those chambers become _their chambers, rented by Marley as the senior member of the couple. The place is so desolate Dickens notes "one could scarcely help fancying it must have run there when it was a young house, playing at hide-and-seek with other houses, and have forgotten the way out again." The perfect abode for two queer misers who wanted no one prying into their business.

Marley's name is still above the door of Scrooge's counting-house: a mark by which, no doubt, Dickens meant to convey Scrooge such a penny-pincher he couldn't bother to have it changed. But a thing can be both! mark of frugality to ludicrous excess and! mark of mourning. "sometimes," Dickens opines, "People new to the

business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, but he answered to both names. It was all the same to him."

This is why "death of the author" matters so much, in expanding our interpretations of texts. It is vastly far from the lens Dickens would have intended. But, the idea of a ghost of queerness, so taboo in the society it could barely be glanced at sidewise in this tale that is all about the inexplicable and yet that lingers over everything becomes an astonishing lens through which to read this book. Thinking of Scrooge as a queer man, his "melancholy dinner at his usual melancholy tavern" becomes a eerie prefiguring of the hollowness of days spent by Isherwood's A Single Man. In this universe, little wonder Scrooge doubly hates mention of time with family, marriage, etc. when the precise nature of his grief is both unacknowledged and unacknowledgable.

And readings like this are vital, because the uncomfortable truth is, discrimination doesn't "discriminate between sinners and saints", to borrow a Miranda phrase. It is easy, in my liberal circles, to fight for queer people who hold "the good sorts of politics". But what about men like Michael Hess, culpable for supporting Reagan even as his contemptuous homophobia let the aids epidemic run rampant? How much harder is it to remember Michael had a partner? That he deserves empathy and compassion for being practically tarred and feathered out of the party upon his own aids diagnosis?

Expanding our imaginative universes to include queerness, not as redemptive panacea, but merely as one aspect of identity, personality, often in vicious conflict with others. Even! as we consider those stories equally worthy of being told feels vital if we're ever to truly express the complexity of what queer humanity looks like.

[thekoalapastriesbakery]

Tiger!alex kidnaping dog!logan when he first joins the team. Alex just drops him onto your lap and is like, our other bf now. He's so cute.

🦈

tiger!alex is everything to me. also we're pretending the '23 season started somewhere gay friendly bc i said so.

you're just sitting on the little sofa in alex's driver's room. you weren't really all that into the big crowds that gathered at the first race of the season. or any race of the season. or ever, really. they're just a little much for you, and you'd rather save your energy for dealing for your overgrown cub of a boyfriend. tiger!alex is a handful.

it doesn't really surprise you that the new driver, logan, is a dog hybrid. a lot of hybrids—and even full humans—would be freaked out by having a big cat hybrid like alex as a teammate. dog hybrids are (usually) just happy to be there. there as in anywhere with any other living creature. especially if said creature will play with them. you know very well that alex is always ready to ditch his responsibilities for a good play session.

what does surprise you is when your boyfriend walks into his driver's room, dragging the new driver with him by the scruff of his neck. logan is a gorgeous golden retriever hybrid. his blond hair perfectly blends with the fur on his ears. and he's clearly not even tried to resist alex's will because does nothing more than stumble a little when your boyfriend deposits the blond on your lap.

"uh ... nice to meet you," you say awkwardly. one of your arms hooks around logan's waist to make sure he doesn't fall, because you're not too confident about his balancing capabilities at the moment, and you look at your boyfriend. "what did you do?"

"this is our new boyfriend," alex says simply.

as if that explains anything.

logan sniffs at you a little before you looking at alex—maybe for permission, maybe for confidence—and nuzzling your neck after alex nods. "hi!"

"hi ..."

you know you should probably question this a bit more. but ... well, logan's so cute! and you know alex has good instincts ... and you can't possibly leave this poor puppy to figure out the big scary world of formula one all by himself, can you?

[nopointic]

i'm watching squid game 2 and i just finished episode 3 where they did the first vote on whether to continue the games or not after the first game red light green light.

now 91 players were just shot to death in front of them even with gi-hun begging them to listen to him so they would survive and 91 players were still killed. even the player they went back to save.

watching them vote to stay in the game after gi-hun revealed he was in the game last time and everyone but him died was the wildest shit because these people voted to STAY in the game. it was a split vote and then the last player voted to stay.

imagine watching 91 people get shot to death in front of you while you just played a children's game and then voting to keep playing for a mere CHANCE at winning some money.

i'm 33 and in debt right now. it fucking SUCKS. but i would not vote to play that fucking set of games. and i would be disappointed but NOT surprised if the people i was stuck with decided to keep playing.

i felt like that as an american this last election. a fucking 34 convicted felon won the usa presidential election over a woman who is literally the sitting vice president right now. half the country chose evil over her, due to misogyny , racism, and their hatred of immigrants and people who are lgbtqa+.

half the country voted for the interests of billionaires and they can't even afford gas and groceries themselves.

like that's whats so fucked up about squid game. it reflects modern life so well. the violence, the crushing weight of capitalism and what we'd do to get out of it. hell most of the players are there to pay MEDICAL debts and now we have the usa media asking why are people cheering on luigi after the healthcare ceo was gunned down. like????

how many stories have we read about people crowdfunding their medical bills? begging the internet full of strangers for help to pay for medicine to live? and we think we're a great country? a good world?????

we are living in squid game right fucking now. we may not have got cards and the green track suits but make no mistake, we are all fodder for the elite. we're just fucking cogs in the heavy machinery that is capitalism and we're being knocked off one by one. and the worst part is how others around us keep voting to keep playing this fucked up game at the hope of one day being rich to escape this hell hole.

gi-hun's face after they voted to keep playing the games after he tried his best to save them and 91 people already died.... man that shit hurted.

[lokisasylum]

We as a society don't talk enough about "Rebirth" period.

The musical arrangement, the ambience, the way is transitions from a slow magical instrumental in the first seconds to the vocal part is perfection on its own.

Its the type of music I've grown hearing in many video games or very old cartoons where our hero is introduced bathed in light (so that we know its HIM). And having seen and understood what Jimin portayed and showed us through 'FACE' and how it ended with "Set me free Pt.2" proclaiming his FREEDOM from darker times on to better ones.

From a prison of darkness on to the light...

And then we get the live mv with Jimin walking in, looking majestic bathed in light, and standing (literally) on top of the world.

(listen... if I had been an atheist and you showed me this clip and told me this is what angels look like I would've convert in a second)

I also want to point out how much I loved that despite his hair being "blonde" it still carried these faded shades of black (shedding the darkness and embracing the light).

And then the magic begins.

From the moment the vocals begin, carrying out a story of reaching out to a purpose, a meaning, a LOVE that keeps you going and wanting to stay close. There is beauty and harmony with every verse.

Nigel Baker on youtube said about "Rebirth" that: "Rebirth is such a beautiful opening to MUSE, Rebirth and like MUSE are beautifully married together. I don't know how to explain it, its like the perfect intro to MUSE because it sets the mood for MUSE--"

And many keep mentioning the part where he sings about "Some day when that door opens---" because they're comparing it in a half-literal and half-metaphorical term to Jimin leaving and returning from his MS.

But for me its that fragment he sings after the high notes while singing "--to you". The one that says:

"White clouds The wind passing by Floating petals It feels like it's been waiting just for us"

I love this part in particular because of how the music is flowing with the words. Like coming down from those high notes and then not quite landing back to earth, but remain floating, or rather flowing.

Because that's what time does, it keeps flowing without stopping. We can have many bad days, many dark moments or situation and feel like we're "stuck", but time keeps moving, the seasons keep changing one after another.

There will always be Spring right after the coldest Winter, and an Autumn after the hottest Summer.

We can always get better days, we just have to wait them out patiently.

BONUS CLIP!