#it's hilarious that we zoom in so much on his face

[yridenergyridenergy]

I found myself funny thinking about orchestrating this loop.

[colleendoran]

Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update

AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.

The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.

Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.

You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.

Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.

 Go me!  

This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because  right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt. 

And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.

Not complainin' just sayin'.

This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back. 

But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!

Then my computer crawled toward the grave.

My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.

There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.

At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.

Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.

That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.

Welcome to my gigabyte hell.

The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.

All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.

But I was not daunted! Nosirree!

I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!

And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.

At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.

I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.

Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.

That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.

Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.

I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.

Then there was news.

I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news. 

It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.

Then I got the official bad news.

Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.

Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work. 

I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.

"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.

So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.

Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.

Eff this guy.

Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.

I didn't even know there was such a thing. 

There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.

I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful  eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.

What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.

Hi Ho.

Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.

I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work. 

Just cut it out and get me back to work.

And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.

Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.

The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way. 

Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.

I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry. 

To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.

I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.

I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.

I have never been more grateful in my life.

Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.

Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.

Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.

Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.

But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.

Then I finally got my surgery.

Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.

My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."

Which was super not fun news.

Eff this guy.

The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.

The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.

By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.

I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.

But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.

All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was  hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.

After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.

Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.

Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.

But at least my main hospital is super swank.

The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.

So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.

Nearly tore off my damn nostril.

Eff this guy.

Anyway, it was a bad year.

Here's what went right.

I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings,  enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.

Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.

No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.

So, yay.

My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.

I got to ring the bell.

I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.

I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.

After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.

Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.

I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.

It's a miracle.

Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.

The new computer works great.

The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.

I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.

I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.

More time for real life.

While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.

OK. Rough year. 

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Back to work on The Book.

And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks. 

[workingbynyx]

Hi! I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing headcanons of Jason Todd as the reader's boyfriend? Probably like the general dynamic of the relationship, love language, etc. Whatever you think goes best! :)

of course! i can finally use my hcs of boyfie jason to good use oml i have so much in store for you loves 😚

(this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and now that its almost v-day i think its pretty fitting to post this <3 also pls remember that these are my personal hcs so some may be entirely ooc but this is how i imagine him to be okay 😭)

Very affectionate behind closed doors

Jason wasn't a very clingy person to begin with. in fact the first time you held hands you swore you saw drops of sweat drip down the side of his face, it's hilarious. it took him a while to get around giving physical affection but once he did, hugs and kisses are non-stop. he'll either give you quick or aggressive but gentle kisses or would simply ask you to climb onto him on your shared bed and lay your head on his chest as he sleeps. he'd search for your hand and give it a squeeze when the both of you are in a big crowd (ex; galas, parties) or just rest his hand on the small of your back— as intimidating he might seem, he's just a big baby in your hands.

A pretty decent cook, to say the least

Could be an unpopular opinion but i'd say Jason isn't all too bad in the kitchen, he can pretty much fix up a simple meal if he wants to. The man could either fuck up the microwave or invent a whole new recipe just to fit your cravings, there's no in between. He doesn't want to admit it but he has a secret folder in his phone of all the recipes to your favourite dishes from lunch meals to deserts; so now on every occassion, you can expect waking up to the fresh scent of your favourite food set on the table <3

Midnight joyrides are the best

Do y'all know those tiktok accs that own a motorbike and just drive around with their partners sitting behind them? That's exactly how i imagine what it would be like to be Jason's partner 👊👊 literally like; "bubs put on your helmet" "are we going out? at this time?" "what, you don't want to?" "well, yeah i do..." "good, i'll have the bike out front then" then you guys just drive around on his bigass bike zooming through the city. He'd also have his hands run down your leg that's straddling him from behind at every stoplight possible wkehwjhejwhd

Getting out of bed is almost impossible

The first time you two moved in together was really exciting, waking up finding yourself beside the love of your life sleeping peacefully to eating breakfast and dinner with them too. But as time went by, it became almost your mission everyday to get out of bed without being held back by Jason pulling you back under the sheets. You'd have to be sneaky to move his arm that's wrapped around your waist before his reflexes react soon enough; "mmh, going somewhere?" "jay, i gotta get to work" "10 more minutes love, i promise. I'll just drive you there it's much faster" "you said that 5 minutes ago— i'll be late again!" "are you saying you'd rather leave me alone?" "jace i–" "mhm exactly, so stay a'ight? you could just tell them you caught that flu" "i already did...two days ago..."

Absolutely adores your eyes, hands and waist

I'm a firm believer that Jason is a certified waist-grabber !!! you can expect the rough tips of his gloves glide over from your back all the way to your waist once he comes home from work. He also looooves looking into your eyes and see his reflection in them, the same eyes that showed nothing but pure love and kindness to him. And he also likes your hands; the size difference when you compare them, how they wrapped around his own, and how they cling onto him every chance you get. He thinks it's such a cute mannerism (if you have them too)

He asks for fashion advice, sometimes

Jason'll probably throw on a shirt, jacket, pants and boots then call it day before he met you— but he's even conscious of how colors looked on him now. You were his stylist, often picking out clothes and giving him new looks that you think looks best on him just because he once saw a photo of him and thought the shirt and pants he had didn't match at all. Jason always thought clothes only consists of hoodies, sweatpants, shirts, but now even knows what 'preppy' clothing is after you explained it to him.

His love language is words of affirmation and physical touch

This may vary to some people but i do hc Jason's love language to be words of affirmation and physical touch. Words of affirmation; only because he absolutely loves it when he tells you what he genuinely thinks of you at the moment. "You look great in red", "i'm proud of what you did there", "i love you, y'know that right?", "you look so gorgeous, i'm lucky to have you" and physical touch; because he's totally convinced he can't live without you by his side. Jason would want to be next or near you at any given chance, he'll have you scooted beside him while he reads a book or gently rub his hand against your thigh when he's focused on a movie. Your presence alone gives him the comfort he's always longing for in nights that he's away from home, and you'd glady give it to him.

Very protective over you

It's probably a known fact that Jason is a protective person but when it comes to you he can be over the top in making sure you're okay (especially when you're also a vigilante/hero working with him.) You'll always have to assure him that you're fine and not bleeding to death with a papercut or when you accidentlly stub your toe against the bed. But when you're also a crime-fighter like him, best believe he'll always have you stay and guarded behind him. You had to explain so many times that you could also take care of yourself like he can, though it's understandable why he acts that way most of the time.

Acts all tough, but melts when you're around

Around the times when Jason still had a lil crush on you, he'd never let his guard down and likes to appear cold or tough. But once you were dating he's an absolute shy babe even with the smallest gestures or compliments you give him. He'd only crack a smile at the side comments you make but is mentally falling apart. Or when he can't keep up the act he simply dips his head in the corner of your neck and stay there til he stops blushing like a teen getting his first kiss.

Is a part of the sassy man apocalypse

Sometimes, you question if this man is simply your bestfriend or your boyfriend of how many years. The amount of bickering the two of you end up having is like watching two friends fight over peanut butter vs chocolate. You'd suggest a book you've been reading that he absolutely despises and have a debate right there and then. It's almost like that one Friends scene when Joey and Rachel were giving spoilers back to back at each other LMAO. The man also has an unhealthy habit of popping a hip whenever he stands, your gallery would probably be filled with pictures of him in that stance alone.

[wisteriagoesvroom]

https://www.tumblr.com/wisteriagoesvroom/765425050649231362/what-happened-between-carlos-and-oscar-in-the-gap

Can you list the clues we have? 🕵️‍♀️

I am not sure I know what all happened but I’m ready to put my RPF brain into it 

i don't have many clues, but here are some thoughts if we wish to put the capital F in rpF:

🇸🇬 singapore

iirc, oscar was the one who roared past carlos in quali and carlos somehow put it in the barrier during q3 in singapore (oscar was the "another car"):

from

so in singapore, oscar qualified p5, and carlos in p10.

oscar ends the race p3 / podium, and carlos in p7

cue 3 week break, then, cut to:

🇺🇸 austin

oscar has a lacklustre sprint quali (he qualified so bad i had to zoom so far out to get the screenshot, rip). carlos starts austin sprint in p5, oscar p16.

oscar ends up fighting his way in this sprint to p10, vs carlos's p2 finish.

oscar drives relatively hard in the austin sprint, incurring a 5 second penalty for pushing gasly off in the process, and manages to hold yuki behind him. i say relatively 'cus he's still pretty clean, but he was scrappy here.

THEN, carlos defended oscar, fully on the record, in the face of the FIA penalty. which he thought was "harsh" on oscar...

much to consider...

from

later. carlos starts p3. oscar is side by side on the starting grid in p5.

carlos finishes p2 there, oscar p5. fairly uneventful race for oscar. not the case for carlos, where iirc ferrari allowed the two red cars to fight.

results from

then...

🇲🇽 mexico city

and BOOM for some reason by mexico city practice they are beefing again. but wait! what's been happening in the background?

my rpf mind says oscar is grumpy because he was denied the additional mclaren upgrades, where the team has prioritised lando. add in: helmut marko dragging oscar's name into the media discourse to mess with zak (who is busy defending lando's position as Prized Top Boy because helmut decided to play mind games with all of them as part of the driver and constructors' championship fight. max haunts the narrative).

from

meanwhile!! carlos is coming to the end of his ferrari run, the end of one of his childhood dreams. (launching his own karting business this year was another one - side note, interesting shift in PR strategy.)

anyway, he didn't win austin like he probably wanted. but, he's kind of doing excellent in mexico. i am not as familiar with ferrari's overall dynamics tbh, but it seems like he and charles were also openly at odds with each other over strategy again at some point in austin (??):

screenshot. + austin writeup from.

so BACK TO MEXICO CITY! where we are now. i think oscar thought carlos was in the way in fp3? which resulted in this lil throwaway snipey comment from oscar:

from

maybe it's a one-sided beef from oscar @ carlos atp. but one thing about carlos is he will NAWT back down when someone bares his teeth at him.

therefore. carcar is like. so fully back y'all.

and as a footnote. or maybe not a footnote actually. it's just. kind of. very funny. when carlos has ended up on pole / p1 in mexico city quali. meanwhile oscar is p17 behind...a sauber.

like. i love that australian twink, but this is kinda hilarious ngl. piastri + americas = no bueno.

make what you will of these. my third eye is OPEN 👁️👄👁️

[anonymousewrites]

Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Two

Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader

Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader

Chapter Two: Commercial Problems

Summary: While Charlie goes to speak to Heaven, the hotel tries to put together a proper TV advertisement (with many interruptions)

            (Y/N) had decided they didn’t like the extermination. The screams, the explosions, the angels—it was frustrating. Luckily, in the Hotel, they were removed from the killing and could just sit and wait for things to finish. However, Alastor had gathered everyone together to “show them something” (which, as everyone had learned already, meant everyone was about to be made fun of).

            Alastor switched on the old-timey TV he had permitted in the hotel, and it turned on to reveal an…ad?

            “Well, hello there you wayward sinner!” said Alastor’s voice as it displayed him pointing at two fighting demons. “Do you like bloody, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that’s why you’re in Hell!” The camera zoomed out to reveal a destroyed quarter of Hell. “But what would you say if there was a place to stay that had none of that?” The camera switched to the hotel. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer’s delusional daughter!”

            The camera faced Charlie, and she waved hesitantly. “Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here, we offer fun things! Such as a somewhat functional staff, and twenty-four-hour pest control! Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversations with our only two guests!” The camera faced Angel and (Y/N). Angel gave the middle finger, and (Y/N) narrowed their eyes, knowing something was up. “Wow! All this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!”

            The video ended, and everyone stared while Alastor perked up, proud of himself.

            “So, what’d ya think?” he said.

            “I’m sorry, what the fuck was that?” said Vaggie angrily.

            “Uh, yeah, one note…” said Charlie awkwardly. “Alastor, I mean—First off, thank you so much for making this, it’s seriously amazing—but, um, maybe the tone is a bit off?” Alastor’s grin just darkened. “We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um…”

            “Fucking depressing,” suggested (Y/N).

            “Funny. I was going for hilarious!” said Alastor.

            Vaggie narrowed her eyes. “It didn’t explain anything about how we’re trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.”

            “Vaggie is right, Alastor,” said Charlie. “The commercial was to let Sinners know we are trying to help them!”

            “Well, my dear, I haven’t been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show!” Alastor’s grin widened. “The proper medium to express oneself. But you insist on this: a noisy picture box advertisement. So I had a little fun with it.”

            “Oh, fun. You had a little fun with it?” said Vaggie. She crossed her arms. “Well, this is not what we want to represent us. When you showed up here a week ago, you told us you would help run this hotel. Instead, you’re mocking us! Nobody’s going to want to come to a place that a powerful Overlord like you thinks is a waste of time.”

            Angel raised his hand.

            “What?” said Vaggie.

            “If ya filmin’ a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of the talented celebrity you have right here?” said Angel, posing.

            “Ew,” said (Y/N), and Angel stuck out his tongue at them. Neither took it to heart. (Y/N) liked being able to speak their mind in Hell, and Angel would just give an equally witty retort when they did, so they both thrived in conversation.

            “Angel, you’re a porn star,” said Vaggie.

            “A famous porn star,” said Angel. “I’ll have the horniest sinners knockin’ these walls down to get in.”

            “I would really prefer not to have perverts in the hotel,” said (Y/N), making a face.

            “Yeah, no!” said Vaggie. “Not only do we have a kid here, but filming porn as the commercial is completely out of the question!”

            “Sex sells,” said Angel. “I swear, if you film me goin’ at it with Mr. Fancy-Talk-Creepy-Voice here, you’d be rollin’ in participants willin’ to stay at the tacky hotel.”

            Alastor looked unimpressed. “Haha! Never going to happen. Besides, like Vagatha said, we couldn’t create such an environment for an impressionable child. What would Charlie think?”

            “Yeah, it sounds like a bad idea…” said Charlie, looking at (Y/N).

            “Is everyone choosing to ignore the fact I killed people?” said (Y/N).

            “Angel, I appreciate you wanting to use your special skills to, um, attract folks to the hotel, but I really don’t want to exploit you in that way,” said Charlie, smiling.

            “Oh, please, baby. This body was made to be exploited,” said Angel. “I got the arms, I got the stamina, I got the legs, I got the lung capacity, I got the legs, the gag reflex, the holes, the chest fluff everyone thinks are tits—”

            “Should I just say ‘ew’ after everything you say to get you to stop?” said (Y/N).

            “Won’t stop me!” declared Angel.

            Charlie’s phone went off, and she hurriedly picked it up. “Uh, hold that thought. I’ll be right back!” She walked off to answer.

            “Hey, I have a question,” said Angel. He looked at Alastor. “If freaky face over there is so powerful, then why can’t he just make people stay here?”

            Alastor laughed. “Oh, trust me. I can.”

            “Why do you think I’m here?” said Husk. “You actually think I’d be cleaning bottles and listening to you fucks bitch and moan all the time if he wasn’t forcin’ me?”

            “What, you don’t love being here with me, Whiskers?” teased Angel.

            “Call me ‘Whiskers’ again, and I’ll jam that bottle down your throat,” threatened Husk.

            “Kinky! Come on, keep talkin’ dirty!” said Angel.

            “Until you let me have a drink, I’m not happy you’re here,” muttered (Y/N), glaring at Husk.

            “Princess over there says no, so no,” said Husk.

            “What the fuck is the point of being in Hell if I don’t get to do anything fun?” grumbled (Y/N).

            “I agree! Why not let the child have a good time? That’s what the hotel is for,” said Alastor.

            “See? He agrees,” said (Y/N), gesturing to Alastor.

            “That is a terrible argument,” said Vaggie. “He just wants you to get into trouble!”

            “I’m in Hell. What more could I do without making a deal with someone, which I’m not doing?” said (Y/N).

            “Indeed,” said Alastor, nodding. “Why not enjoy some entertainment and enjoy oneself?”

            “Stop it,” hissed Vaggie. “This is supposed to be about rehabilitation and redemption, people choosing to stay here.”

            “I’m choosing to stay here, and I think it’s all stupid,” said Angel. “We’re in Hell, toots. That’s kind of the end of the road, ain’t it?”

            “Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be,” said Vaggie. “Just because nobody has made it out before doesn’t mean it’s not possible.”

            “Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin’ here rent-free,” said Angel. “Crack is expensive.”

            “Haha! Yes!” cheered Charlie, bounding back into the room. “Vaggie! Holy shit!”

            “What?” asked Vaggie.

            Charlie gestured for her to come over, and Vaggie smiled fondly at her girlfriend before walking over. (Y/N) and Angel exchanged inquisitive looks. A moment later, Charlie slipped into song, which meant she was super excited.

(Charlie) “I can do this, Somehow, I know it, I’ll get Heaven behind my plan!”

            So she’s meeting with Heaven? thought (Y/N).

            “Charlie, hold on,” said Vaggie nervously.

(Charlie) “There’s just no way I could blow it! Not this once-in-a-lifetime chance.”

            “It’s just a meeting,” said Vaggie.

(Charlie) “To change their minds, And touch their hearts, Or whatever angels have.”

            “This could be bad,” said Vaggie.

(Charlie) “Cheer up, Vaggie! This could be swell! Something tells me that today will be a happy day, In Hell!”

            “Okay, but just…don’t sing to them,” advised Vaggie.

            “She’s gone,” said (Y/N).

            “That bitch is halfway down the street,” laughed Angel as everyone looked out the door to watch Charlie go.

            “Is she—”

            “She’s dancing, yeah,” confirmed (Y/N).

            Vaggie groaned. “Ugh, no.”

            “Is this going to go badly?” asked (Y/N).

            “It might go alright,” said Vaggie optimistically.

            “It’s going to be an absolute travesty,” said Alastor brightly.

            “In an entertaining way or in the way that we’re going to end up in trouble?” said (Y/N).

            “Both, hopefully!” said Alastor, looking forward for his own amusement.

            Vaggie groaned and put her head in her hands.

            “Well, I’m gonna go out and find something actually fun to do!” chirped Angel.

            “No, nope, nobody’s going anywhere!” said Vaggie. “We’re all sitting down and making a proper commercial that actually helps the hotel!”

            “Uh-oh, does that mean you expect me to be involved?” said (Y/N).

            “Yes,” said Vaggie.

            “I hate being told what to do,” said (Y/N).

            “Tough shit,” said Vaggie.

l

            “Okay, so Charlie is dealing with something very important,” said Vaggie once she had cornered everyone in one room. “So while she’s gone, we are making a new commercial. One that represents her vision and what we’re doing here. So, we need a camera. Alastor?”

            He snapped his finger, and an old-fashioned photographic camera appeared.

            Vaggie deadpanned. “A video camera.”

            “Hm.” Alastor was unimpressed with the idea, but he snapped his fingers nonetheless and let a video camera appear.

            “Alright, let’s do this!” said Vaggie.

            First up was a scene with Husk and Angel.

            “And…action!” said Vaggie, pointing the camera at them.

            “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel,” said Husk, reading from the script. “Can I help you with anything?”

            “I’ve been a bad boy,” said Angel. “And I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place! On the path to redemption!”

            “Well, you’ve come—”

            “Oh, yes!” Angel cut off Husk.

            “To the right place,” finished Husk, rolling his eyes.

            “Cut,” said Vaggie, sighing. “Okay, Angel, I need you to be less horny, if possible. And Husk, can you maybe not have a script in front of your face?”

            “I ain’t no actor!” said Husk. “I can’t memorize this shit!”

            “Well, we could always improv this shit, Baby cakes,” purred Angel.

            Husk shoved him off the counter.

            Vaggie sighed and looked back at (Y/N) and Alastor.

            “This is going great,” said (Y/N) with a grin.

            “Oh, yes, splendidly!” said Alastor.

            Vaggie growled and was tempted to grab her spear as she was faced with shit-eating grins.

l

            Next was Niffty’s scene, but she was more interested in stabbing insects than she was the camera.

            “Stab, stab, stab!” said Niffty.

            “Alright, Niffty! Niffty!” said Vaggie, catching her attention. “Your line is ‘We have the cleanest rooms.’ Okay?”

            “Got it! I’m ready!” said Niffty.

            “Action.” Vaggie turned on the camera.

            Niffty’s smile fell, and she stared, wide-eyed, at the camera.

            “Uh…cut,” said Vaggie, slightly unnerved.

            “How was that?” said Niffty, smiling.

            “Well, Niffty, you actually have to say the line. Let’s roll again,” said Vaggie.

            “Okay!” said Niffty.

            “Action,” said Vaggie.

            Niffty once again just stared, empty-eyed.

            “You’re doing great, Vagina,” whispered Angel.

            “Cut!” shouted Vaggie. “Alright, um, maybe we can try to fix it in post.”

            “Do you even know what that means?” teased Angel.

            “I’ll figure it out!” snapped Vaggie. “(Y/N), Alastor, you’re up.”

            “No, I don’t get on camera,” said Alastor, dismissing the word “camera” distastefully.

            “I don’t want any attention,” said (Y/N), crossing their arms. They really weren’t a fan of having people stare at them, and a commercial would do that, especially for something as crazy as this.

            Vaggie glared. “This is for Charlie.”

            Alastor and (Y/N) remained unmoved and crossed their arms.

            Vaggie cursed under her breath.

l

            (Y/N) knocked on the door of the room Vaggie was using to rewatch the footage she’d managed to get.

            “What?” snapped Vaggie.

            “Listen, I don’t want to be on camera,” said (Y/N), holding up their hands. “I really don’t. But if I can help in some other way, I’ll do it.”

            Vaggie groaned and put her head on her hands. “I don’t know how you can help. It all sucks.”

            “Yes, seems like you’re having a bit of trouble there, hm?” said Alastor, popping out of the shadows.

            “Why are you even here?” snapped Vaggie.

            “For the entertainment!” said Alastor, shrugging. “I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly!” He beamed at Vaggie. “Like you are doing now! Good job!”

            Vaggie narrowed her eyes and pointed the video camera at Alastor. “And here’s Alastor, the egocentric piece of shit that—” the camera buzzed with electricity, and Vaggie was forced to drop it as it sparked.

            “I wouldn’t try that, my dear,” said Alastor. “This face was made for radio.”

            (Y/N)’s eyes widened, and they were struck with Alastor’s intimidating presence once again. Holy hell, they wanted strength like that.

            “I don’t care who or what you are!” said Vaggie ferociously. “If you are staying here, you are going to make this work! Because it won’t be so ‘entertaining’ to watch over an empty hotel, will it, shitass?!”

            “Fair enough! I’ll tell you what,” said Alastor. “Let’s make a deal.”

            Vaggie scoffed. “Do you think I’m that stupid? Making a deal with a demon like you.”

            “Not for your soul,” scoffed Alastor. “Just a simple deal. I do this for you, and you never ask me to engage with this frivolous television technology ever again.”

            “You really hate tv,” said (Y/N).

            “It’s the worst medium for expressing oneself,” said Alastor distastefully. “So petty and uninspired.”

            “That’s all you want?” said Vaggie, furrowing her brow.

            “That, or Charlie can come back to absolutely nothing,” said Alastor brightly. “Your choice.”

            Vaggie sighed. “Fine.” She put the broken camera in Alastor’s hand, and it disappeared.

            Green light surrounded him, and he snapped his fingers. “Now, then!”

            Everyone appeared in the room and got 1920s themed outfits, and a camera crew of shadows appeared ready to serve.

            Vaggie smiled. “Alright, everyone! Let’s make a fucking commercial!”

            (Y/N) took a careful step back while Vaggie grabbed the others to film.

            “Still not interested?” said Alastor, amused.

            “I don’t want to be on camera,” said (Y/N), making a face and shaking their head.

            “What do you think of radio?” said Alastor.

            (Y/N) shrugged. “Better than podcasts.”

            Alastor’s grin widened, and he nodded in satisfaction. That was the correct answer.

l

            “Charlie!” Vaggie hugged her girlfriend as she finally returned to the hotel. “How’d it go? Did they listen?”

            “Oh, uh, they sure did hear it! But, uh…” Charlie trailed off nervously.

            “Oh, come here! We have something exciting to show you!” said Vaggie. “Alastor pulled some strings, and it’s about to air!”

            “I pulled a few limbs, too!” laughed Alastor. (Y/N) snickered.

            “Wait? The commercial?” said Charlie, eyes widening. “You all made a new one?”

            “Yeah, one of my better performances, if I do say so myself,” said Angel proudly.

            “That’s…that’s amazing!” Charlie’s eyes shone with emotion.

            “Shush, it’s starting!” said Angel.

            The TV showed them in their outfits. ((Y/N) had contributed by filming). “Welcome to the Hazbin Ho—”

            Vaggie’s lines were cut off as the TV switched to a “Breaking News” sign, and the residents and staff of Hazbin Hotel grumbled.

            “Breaking news in Hell today!” said Katie Killjoy as she came onscreen. “We have just received word from the Heaven Embassy that the next extermination is happening sooner than ever before. Do you know what that means, Tom?”

            “No, what does it mean, Katie?” asked Tom Trench.

            “It means we are all royally fucked,” cursed Katie.

            The camera switched to the countdown clock as it cut in half to 176 days.

            “Wait…what?! Why?!” cried Angel.

            “Holy shit,” said (Y/N), eyes widening. Their situation had just gotten worse. They were in more danger.

            And they still had no way to defend themself.

Taglist:

@kyalov

@pandaquick

@boredwithlifeatthispoint

@jaytheaceenby

@paastaboi

@bettybabys

@gxdoesstuff

@grippleback-galaxy

@just-here-reading

@dmitrytherat

@a-small-tyrant

@marxo5

@rory-cakes

@andsoigotabutterfly

[lightofraye]

Photo Comparison Time!

Because people still have blinders, I decided to go digging and editing. I'm being respectful even to those who publicly posted their photos by covering their faces and largely zooming into Jensen's face as much as possible.

Here is Wales Comic Con.

To me, his eyes look shaded, not as in bad lighting, but there's no light in his eyes. He's not lit up like he usually is. He has this tiredness and strain to his face. He's trying to smile as much as possible, but it just doesn't feel genuine. And I looked over as many tweets as I could and only saw a small handful, if that, of "funny stories" of encounters at the photo op and autograph op lines.

Then there's Austin Con:

His eyes seem brighter, more lit up. There were more stories of him having hilarious encounters with fans. More than once it was observed he was in a good mood. When asked to do a smolder, he smoldered. Asked to do funny moments, he did so. And a lot of more genuine smiles.

He even looks more rested, less tired, though all the photo ops and autographs he had to do definitely tired him out. (The man is definitely more of an introvert.)

This, of course, is my opinion. But I'm seeing a lot of real moments at Austin Con than we ever did at Wales Comic Con or with Misha.

[rainbowchaox]

Purgatory Pissa Masterpost Part 1:

Look guys Missa hasn’t streamed again since day 1 of the event! So I was thinking to make it easier for artists and fic writers to remember canon moments. And I am HAVING thoughts. And feeling the need to yet again be “normal” about my favorite cubitos.

Let’s be honest. Philza was so happy to see Missa was online it was adorable. In Philza POV he practically started the zooming into Missa from the top of the wall. HUSBAND SPOTTED! And the amount of joy between them seeing each other again! THEY MISSED EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!

Then Missa! Finally got a little brave and practically demanded Philza to give him a HUG. And guys I squealed watching it live. And philza immediately GAVE his husband a hug. And then tubbo immediately was like “are you guys gonna kiss and shit?” And PHILZA broke. Like HMMM why you hesitating why the confusion. Like DO YOU WANNA KISS HIM YOU REPRESSED CROW-

Then we also have to talk about THAT scene. The scene where quite frankly Missa just stared at his husband pecs as Philza canonically flexed- causing Philza to quickly get shy. Missa is so down bad that even I was like “MISSA PLEASE!”. This is the same man in the same stream where he legit called a painting of Philza “papacito” which I learned is like the Spanish version of “daddy”. Which Missa was very judged by his own chat for. It was hilarious. Cubito Missa was a different breed of simping and yearning this stream. I wish I made all of this up, but nope IT HAPPENED CANONICALLY. AND THEY EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL?!?

But what everyone should focus on the most is when cucurocho said quesadilla island was a paradise. Mr Simpfonia himself immediately agreed because and I quote “Philza is here”. THIS IS BIG! Because EVEN Missa knows the island is horrible. Chayanne is gone for Void Sakes. BUT ITS PARADISE TO MISSA BECAUSE HE LOVES PHILZA- I’m so normal about this dudes. Because even spiderbit can’t say the island is paradise because they met each other on the island, but Missa casually says it like it didn’t rewrite pissa warriors brain chemistry. Something something Philza is comfort and safety to Missa. He loves Philza so much. Truly a bleeding heart with loyalty so strong it’s titanium.

And can we all talk about how Philza when they were separated waved goodbye to Missa when Missa back was turned? Philza doesn’t show affection through words. But by actions. Something something he is already missing Missa. The tsundere crow. JUST ADMIT YOU LOVE HIM-

Also Missa before all of this showing off his aquarium apartment. And casually says “The point is so Philza doesn’t notice so we can stay close to him” BITCH ITS PHILZA AND MISSA FOR A REASON! Did you forget the double bed?!?!!!? Pissa love each other so much it’s slowly becoming a obsession. Not to mention mISSA in general hauntings Philza thoughts (dude checked the map to see Missa when he died-) we get it Philza you love him and are sad you got spilt up. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU NEVER GET TO SEE YOU HUSBAND AND MISS HIM-

Another great moment is when Missa heard his own team mates saw Philza and immediately was possessive and protective DESPITE THEM ACTUALLY BEING ON ENEMY SIDES was like “No don’t hurt my man”. Missa wants his husband to be safe. And nice to know his possessive streak is healthy as ever. Philza is HIS man. I swear Missa we get it- YOU LOVE HIM. THEY MAKE ME CRAZY. And guys it was a experience watching Missa POV. Because he was ignoring all the death and chaos in the chat BUT the moment when Missa saw Philza die his whole face changed expressions. Philza was the only death he reacted too I ain’t lying.

Now for the best part of the stream, Missa causally entered the VC of red team. And I quote “I’m not part of your team but I wanna tell you I love you guys”. PHILZA IMMEDIATELY SAID I LOVE YOU BACK. Of course everyone else was suspicious of Missa being so nice and called him a manipulator while Philza immediately was like “No he wouldn’t do that”. PHILZA TRUSTS MISSA SO MUCH-

LIKE WE UNDERSTAND! You guys are always on each other minds. We were fed so much! And I can’t wait to see what other cute pissa moments we get in the future- I hope you enjoyed my rambling essay. I feel like there should be a masterpost of pissa moments in case anyone needed a refresher! Will make Part 2 once we get more cute pissa moments!

[mystwrites]

The Chase

Summary: Akaza decides to chase Rui and Enmu after they convinced him to be the test subject for Enmu’s new and improved Blood Demon Art

A/N: Day 6 of Tickletober! I drew some art so here we go! I will post all of the drawings I’ve done for this event on my art account!

Akaza had no idea how they managed to convince him to do this, but he lay on the floor and allowed Enmu to test out a “new” version of his Blood Demon Art. He decided to play a little prank on them and remained on the floor, the two lower ranks sat on their knees, waving their hands in front of Akaza’s face.

“Huh…he’s still asleep.” Enmu said, cocking his head to the left, Rui doing the same.

“How long did you say he was supposed to be out?” Rui asked, looking down at Akaza.

“He was supposed to be asleep for like…three minutes? As an upper rank, I was pretty sure since Gyokko remained knocked out for three minutes Akaza would be out for a similar amount of time. Maybe not though…it is new and improved…”

“He’a been out for more than three minutes…oh my gosh!! What if you killed him???” Rui gasped, his hands covering his mouth.

“Nonsense! I wouldn’t dream of killing an Upper Moon! Not this one anyways…” Enmu gasped in offense, waving his hand. “Akaza shouldn’t have died…my Blood Demon Art isn’t that strong compared to his! Is it?? Is it Rui?!?”

Two index fingers connected with either side of Akaza’s cheeks. Enmu’s finger colder than Rui’s. Enmu jabbed up and down the left side of his face while Rui was more gentle, sliding the pad of his finger against the tattoos lining his face. Akaza remained still, his chest not moving. The two grew a little more worried by the minute, Rui slowly panicking as he started shaking Enmu. Akaza wanted to laugh so badly but he wanted to scare them. He had to remain quiet for a little longer.

“WHAAAA?!? YOU KILLED HIM!!” Rui cried, shaking Enmu rather violently. “WHAT IS MUZAN SAMA GOING TO THINK WHEN HE HEARS ABOUT THIS?!?”

“I SWEAR I DIDN’T!! I WOULD NEVER! AKAZA IS THE NICEST UPPER MOON!!” Enmu argued. “I JUST GAVE HIM A SWEET DREAM I SWEAR!! OHH DEAR…PLEASE LET THIS BE A HORRID NIGHTMARE!!”

Unbeknownst to them, Akaza was not dead. He found it hilarious that they thought he was dead and was trying not to laugh, his face remained neutral like it had when he actually fell asleep. He actually was awake for the past ten minutes.

As their bickering and panicking became more noisy, they began shaking Akaza, screaming about how Muzan was going to kill them if he discovered that Enmu killed Akaza and Rui was a part of the crime. Unable to take any more screaming, Akaza opened his eyes and roared, sending the two Lower Moons screaming and stumbling backwards.

“I am not dead!! I am very much still alive and kicking!” Akaza laughed, wiggling his fingers. “You two better run!!”

The upper ranked demon shot up and launched himself at Enmu and Rui, the two smaller demons letting out a shriek before they took off, zooming out of the room and jumping from platform to platform, taking a turn and running down the hallway that would lead to where Gyutaro and Daki normally resided if they weren’t in the Entertainment District. They knew the siblings wouldn’t help them but maybe they’d be able to find a way to make Akaza stop chasing them.

Turning around, Enmu let out a scream as he saw Akaza right behind them, directly on their heels. Rui has no intention to look back, aware that Akaza was very fast and could easily catch them if he tried. He wasn’t. He was giving them a fair chance to escape. The screams of terror changed to screams accompanied by giggles, Rui pushing Enmu suddenly, causing him to fall backwards into Akaza. For a second, Enmu and Akaza were a little shocked, unable to fathom what had just transpired.

“HEY!!!” Enmu shouted, looking at Rui.

“Sorry, but it’s either you or me, Enmu!” Rui laughed, skipping away merrily. “Bye!”

“Ohhhh!! How dare you…you…YOU LITTLE INFESTATION!! I SWEAR I WILL GIVE YOU THE WORST…EEEP!!” Enmu gasped as his ankles were pulled out from under him as he tried to crawl to his feet and escape.

“Hello there!” Akaza chuckled, his hands grabbing Enmu’s hips, not moving, just resting them there.

A loud screech echoed throughout the Infinity Castle, Enmu reaching back and bursting into giggles instantly as he felt the pressure of two large hands. The squirming had begun and Akaza chuckled, barely moving his hands, Enmu kicking his feet behind them and laughing rather hard.

“Nonono!! Ahahaha!! Dohohon’t!!” Enmu begged, squealing as Akaza laughed and sat on his flailing legs so he wouldn’t get kicked.

“I am not doing anything!” Akaza argued, deciding to just put Enmu out of his misery and curled his fingers into the laughing demon’s hips. “Now I am doing something.”

Digging in, Akaza felt around for Enmu’s hipbones, chuckling as Enmu screamed, his hands grabbing Akaza’s wrists. The weak slaps from the lower rank didn’t warrant Akaza to release him just yet, a smug grin spreading across his face as he went for Enmu’s armpits. He had done this before and was well aware of where Enmu was extremely ticklish and exactly what techniques would warrant his best reactions.

“Let go of my wrists, dreamer boy!” Akaza growled, laughing as Enmu squawked like a crow, his arms clamping down onto Akaza’s hands, keeping them tightly pinned against his armpits. “Ah yes. You are the one who’s very ticklish and can laugh from no touching, right?”

“NOOHOHO!!! LEHEHET ME GOOHOHOHO!! PLEHEHEASE!!” Enmu hiccuped, Akaza laughing and removing his hands, making Enmu scream by hovering his fingers above his hips for a few seconds. “STAAHAHAHAHAP!! AHAHAKAZA!! P-PLEHEHEHEASE!! STAHAHAP!!”

“Why? You seem to always enjoy when I tickle you!” he teased, squeezing the backs of Enmu’s thighs, more screaming escaping.

“IHIHI’M GOHOHONNA DIHIHIEEHEHEHEE!! YOU’RE GOHONNA KIHIHILL MEHEHEHEE!! I AHAHAM SEEHEHEHEEING THEHEHE STAHAHARS!!” Enmu complained, hoping for some form of sympathy.

“Oh my gosh! You’re fine!” Akaza shook his head, giving Enmu’s ribs a good tickle. “I just thought you would’ve enjoyed this since you tried to give me a tickle dream!”

“IHIHI’M SOHOHORRY!!” Enmu wailed, his feet kicking harder. “PLEHEHEASE LEHEHET ME GOHOHO!!”

“I dunno…” Akaza sang, his fingertips digging into the backs of Enmu’s ribs before skittering up to his armpits.

Akaza’s dig into Enmu’s armpits, his fingertips massaging and kneading the sensitive area. Laughing, Akaza released Enmu when he heard the demon choke on his laughter and let out the most horrendous wheeze and got off of him, giving Enmu’s hair a ruffle. “I’ll see you later. I have a little spider to catch.” he said, bouncing off of the nearby platform and disappearing.

“I-I’ll get you b-back for that!!” Enmu wheezed, pulling his knees up to his chest. “I swear I will! A-AND YOU MESSED UP MY HAIR!!”

—

Rui managed to escape and get a good distance away. He heard Enmu’s screaming and laughing die down and his heart rate increased. Looking out to the next platform, Rui squeaked as he saw Akaza, using his spider webs, preparing to playfully fight. Within a split second, Rui was snatched and found himself flying backwards into the room, Akaza holding him gently.

“LET! ME! GOOOO!!” Rui growled, kicking and flailing as Akaza took a seat, Rui held in a tight hug. “LET ME GO YOU STRIPED FREAK!!”

“Ohh…? Insulting me now?” Akaza asked, his voice dangerously low. “Normally you save that for Douma.”

“Well today I am insulting you!” Rui spat, sticking his tongue out and blowing a raspberry at Akaza.

Letting out a playful and offended gasp, Akaza smirked and immediately started tickling Rui, wincing as a loud screech filled the room. Chuckling, Akaza squeezed Rui close, his hand clawing at the center of his stomach, bringing out the cutest fits of giggles. Crawling his fingers up, Akaza found Rui’s ribs, the younger demon squealing loudly and attempting to roll out of Akaza’s grasp.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Akaza sang, pulling Rui back, his hands pressing into Rui’s stomach like a piano. “You helped Enmu, abandoned him, then ran away from me and wanted to give me attitude, hmm? This is your punishment!”

“Aahaha!! Nohoho fahahair!!” Rui protested, reaching up to try and slap Akaza’s face only to bring his arm down when Akaza tickled his armpit. “GYAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

“You say it isn’t fair? You left your comrade! That isn’t very fair, now is it?” Akaza chastised, grabbing Rui’s left thigh, squeezing just above his knee.

Rui screamed and weakly kicked for a few seconds before he resorted to trying to push Akaza’s hand off of him. Still squirming, Rui tried breaking free with the element of surprise but Akaza expected it all and was prepared for anything Rui tried.

“So, are you going to help Enmu convince me into being a test subject again?” Akaza asked, Rui crying out for help as he tickled under his arms.

“NOOHOHO!! IHIHI WOHOHON’T HEHEHELP HIHIHIM AGAHAIN I PROHOMISE!!” Rui cackled, throwing his head back as Akaza tickled his tummy.

“I don’t believe you, but you’re cheeks are red. I think I’ll be nice and stop.” Akaza chuckled, releasing Rui and allowing him to roll away. “I better not be convinced to test Enmu’s Blood Demon Art again!”

“I WOHON’T HEHELP EHEHENMU!! IHIHI PROMISE!!” Rui squealed, curling up a good distance away from Akaza.

“Good! See you later, spider boy!” Akaza said, standing up and turning to leave.

Once Akaza was gone, Rui sat up and saw Enmu in the doorway, smirking at him. He knew he was in more trouble with Enmu than he had been with Akaza and decided that he wouldn’t bother talking or offering a weak excuse. Within an instant, Rui threw a ball of webs at Enmu to distract him and shoved his way out of the room, running as fast as he could down the halls and jumped up to another platform, Enmu giving chase once he got the webs off of him.

The chase went on for a good half hour, Rui shoving past multiple members of the Twelve Kizuki. No one really questioned it but Nakime had enough of their shenanigans and with the twang of her biwa, sent them back to their preferred locations. All was quiet in the Infinity Castle.

[realbeijinger]

Another semi-coherent rant on climate change, the value of idealism, and TGCF (I finally finished!)

Well, I finished Tian Guan Ci Fu. And, oh man, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I was terrified that the entire novel would be a criticism of blind idealism. But I am SO glad I was wrong!!! Looking back on what I wrote before… it’s kind of hilarious how worried I was. I was so sure that I knew where it was going, was so busy preparing myself to be offended/emotionally crushed, that I wouldn’t even entertain the idea that maybe MXTX had a similar worldview to me all along.

In my defense, aside from the line, “Something like saving the common people… although foolish, it is brave,” everything seemed to point toward the idea that trying to do good is pointless. I mean, up until the moment when Xie Lian was lying with a sword in his chest on the streets of Yong’an, all of his efforts to do good had essentially been in vain. He hadn’t been able to help anyone.

And then, when the one guy stopped and gave Xie Lian his hat, I dunno, I just cried. It was so perfect! Like, ugh, damn you, MXTX! So sneaky… destroying us, just to bring us back later!! It was such a small, insignificant win, but it was exactly what Xie Lian (and I) needed. I love the line, “Just one person was enough!” Just one person doing something selfless. It’s enough to give us hope.   

It really resonates with me because I think a lot about how to maintain hope. In terms of the climate crisis, I feel like Xie Lian—completely powerless. I want to stop eating meat, use less plastic, spend more time on environmental activism, but honestly, what do any of these things matter? The meat industry is not going to change because I choose to stop consuming. Even my activism has a completely negligible effect—whether or not I join a protest or write a letter to my congressman will almost certainly not be the deciding factor for any climate legislation, no matter how much effort I put in.  

And yet, I still want to. I love the moment when Xie Lian chooses to get stabbed over and over rather than create a second plague of Human Face Disease, and White No-Face asks him in shock, “Why??”—as in, why would you ever do that? And Xie Lian responds: “I don’t have a reason—just because I want to! Even if I explained it to you… Useless trash like you wouldn’t understand.” This line is so great. Xie Lian can’t explain it to White No-Face, because, in truth, it isn’t entirely logical. It can’t be explained by reason. I want to do my measly, unimportant part to help the world… because I want to. Because it feels right. Because it’s my way of keeping my heart, of maintaining faith that there is some good in this world worth upholding. (As an aside, I love how the English title of the live action drama—which we may never get to see, God damn censorship!!!!—is called “Eternal Faith.” Of course it refers to Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s faith in each other, but I think it also means having eternal faith in the value of doing good, despite centuries of experience that seem to show its pointlessness.)

As I talked about in my last post, if you zoom out far enough, nothing really seems to matter. Everything we love and care about will one day be gone. And yet, I believe we still have to act like it matters. This is the basic tenant of existentialism, and I think MXTX portrays this philosophical paradox really beautifully.

It’s funny, because I think MXTX has a lot of profound things to say, but in an interview I read, she warned against viewing her work too deeply, saying, “I am not a guru.” I get that she may not want the responsibility of giving people spiritual advice, but I do think she presents some really fascinating, really novel, philosophical ideas. So, sorry MXTX, but I’m about to analyze TGCF like it’s a piece of freakin scripture. Soo here we go…

The main theme she comes back to again and again is that fortune is limited, so the only way you can do good for others is by taking fortune from somebody else. Which leads the characters to a bunch of ethically impossible choices: the people of Yong’an and the people of Xianle can’t all be saved (Xie Lian must choose who to help), neither can the people of Wuyong and the surrounding kingdoms (Prince of Wuyong must choose), and Shi Wudu can’t save his brother from a tragic fate without taking fortune from an innocent person. When the characters try to avoid choosing, and try to “play God” by creating a “third path,” it just invites disaster.

But is this really true? Is fortune actually limited? It’s an idea that reminds me of Buddhism and Daoism, but also seems kind of revolutionary… (I like to think I know something about Chinese philosophy but it could certainly be a thing and I don’t know). I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe in limited resources, and the idea that nature tends toward balance. I think conceiving of it this way, as a pool of fortune, is really interesting.   

It reminds me of this Meme:

In other words, who is the protagonist and who is the villain is entirely based on perspective. And, according to the laws of nature, we all must survive by eating others, or causing others to starve (i.e. avoiding being eaten).

I tried to think if this is really true in all areas of life. I’m a teacher, and one of the ways I convince myself that I am doing good in the world is by helping my students—preparing them well for college so that they can get into good schools and follow their dreams. But then, is this just taking fortune from others? If I do prepare my students well, and as a result they all get into top universities, does that mean they are taking spots away from other students? Am I simply just helping “my own,” at the expense of others?

One place where I see this concept play out very clearly is with our modern, industrialized society. As I mentioned in my last post, we live in a world of abundance. Most of us have enough food to eat, live in houses with electricity and running water, and don’t worry about a whole host of diseases endured by our ancestors. It seems we have done what Xie Lian couldn’t—we have expanded the well of fortune for most of humanity.

But this fortune wasn’t spontaneously created. It was taken from other species. It was borrowed against our own future, when climate change will likely destroy this world of abundance we have created, causing untold suffering. In truth, when it comes to prosperity, there is no such thing as a free lunch.   

Even now, when we ought to be enjoying our fortune, most of us are not happy. We want other things. We take food, clothing, and shelter for granted, creating even bigger, more lofty demands—a bigger car, a better house, a machine that’s sole purpose is to make bread. In fact, it seems like whenever we make things “better,” the goalposts just move. I recently read a book called Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, which mentioned that with the advent of washing machines and vacuum cleaners, everyone assumed there would be more free time. Yet, the real outcome was that standards of cleanliness just changed. Suddenly, people expected you to wear fresh clothes every day and have a perfectly dust-free home, which meant spending just as much time cleaning as in the past.     

And according to psychologists, getting what we want doesn’t really make us happier. Instead, something like getting a promotion causes our happiness to spike, before it quickly returns to baseline. The psychologist Dan Gilbert writes that the purpose of our emotions is to act like a compass—to tell us which direction to go in. If you feel good, you can continue the way you are going. If you feel bad, you should probably turn—make a change. But if you get what you want and become permanently happy, your compass is now broken. It’s stuck in one direction and becomes useless.

All of this is very Buddhist, of course. Suffering is not caused by our external circumstances, but our desire to change them.

Like I said, I don’t necessarily believe in “fate” or “fortune.” But I believe this all points to something deeper that MXTX is getting at: which is that we cannot fundamentally make a better world, for the common people, or for anyone. This idea of “better” doesn’t really exist. The world is as it is. Trying to alter that is like playing God. And like Xie Lian says, “In this world, there are no true gods…”  

So, what do we do? How can we survive this absurdist tragedy of life? I don’t think we can just throw up our hands and not give a shit—that way lies depression and Jun Wu-style cruelty. We cannot lose our heart. But we also can’t try to fix everything.

One thing I find a bit difficult about MXTX is she is very clear about the impossible situations our characters find themselves in, but not really clear about the solution. She seems critical of the characters’ actions (I’m thinking also of Wei Wuxian here), but what exactly does she think they should have done? In other words, what is the point?

I spent a long time thinking about this. And I realized that Xie Lian was able to get back on his feet, find happiness and make peace with himself. How did he do this? Ultimately, I see Xie Lian’s solution as having three parts: self-sacrifice, gratitude, and purpose. Which all sounds very academic and maybe not that profound on an emotional level. But hear me out. Because, in the end, I think these choices are incredibly beautiful. They are the kind of thing that make me feel like reading TGCF was actually a spiritual experience, no matter what MXTX says. That makes me admire Xie Lian and want to follow him (like the God he is).

Okay so first: self-sacrifice. If fortune is limited, and the only way to make others’ lives better is to take fortune from someplace else, then there is really only one place you can take it from without hurting others—yourself.

So, part of Xie Lian’s solution is to take fortune from himself and give it to others. It’s why he asks for a cursed shackle that disperses his fortune, so that his fortune will naturally flow to those around him. It’s, of course, a very small thing. He is no longer playing God, or trying to “fix” the world on a grand scale. He is simply, in his own, quiet way, serving the common people.

My desire to give up meat and to spend more time on activism—these things feel like big sacrifices for me. And yet, they will have a very small impact on the greater situation in the world. They’re a drop in the ocean. I still want to do it, but it’s hard. It’s hard to care, or think that these things matter. Yet, this is the trade-off Xie Lian was willing to make. I really admire him for it.   

I believe self-sacrifice is actually a really important, beautiful thing, that our society has forgotten the value of. We are individualistic—obsessed with our own wants. As I mentioned previously, our expectations have risen, so we buy and buy and buy. We are unwilling to rein in our consumption. I know a lot of people baulk at lifestyle changes as a solution to the climate crisis, and I agree that putting pressure on individuals instead of governments or corporations is misguided. But, first of all, there simply aren’t enough resources on earth to sustain our current levels of consumption. And, second… I don’t think we can completely let individuals off the hook. What is society anyway, but a collection of individuals? If we are going to address this thing, it’s going to take a massive movement—bigger than the civil rights movement or the works’ rights movement or the women’s movement. It’s going to take millions of people worldwide getting out of their own heads, their own lives, and concerning themselves with the greater good. That requires immense sacrifice.

Which takes me to gratitude. In order to be willing to sacrifice, you have to appreciate what you already have.

People often talk about gratitude these days as a path to mental health. Instinctively, it sounds like an uplifting, positive thing. And it is… but it also entails having a relatively negative worldview. It means remembering all the horrible things that exist in this world which we are lucky enough to avoid on a daily basis. You stepped in some dog shit? Well, that sucks, but you could have stepped into an open manhole and broken your neck! So! That’s something to be grateful for.  

We are all so lucky. I’m sure everyone reading this has pains and traumas and challenges. This isn’t to diminish those, but, I hope, at least we all have at least one person to love. That’s all Hua Cheng had, and it’s what kept him going. Just one person was enough. And most of us, I hope, get to eat food every day, get to sleep in a bed, get to play video games or read novels or write poetry when we are sad. Not everyone gets those things.  

Xie Lian, of course, was the king of low expectations, because he knew his future was going to be bad. He had intentionally accepted bad luck for a lifetime. So, there was no point in hoping for things to get better.

I think this attitude is best shown by his interaction with the Venerable of Empty words. The Venerable of Empty Words feeds off people’s fears. But Xie Lian didn’t really have any. When the Venerable of Empty Words warned him that his hut will collapse in two months, his response is, “Two months? If it’s still standing in seven days, then it’ll be a real miracle.” Because his expectations are so low, he’s essentially immune to fear. I can’t help but think that if you could really think this way, it would be a kind of superpower. It reminds me of the famous quote by spiritual teacher Krishnamurti, “Do you know what my secret is? You see, I don’t mind what happens.”

And so Xie Lian is okay with everything. He can sleep anywhere, crash boulders on his chest for money, not eat for three days, regularly suffer corpse poisoning, and still be okay.

Which leads to my third point: purpose. Xie Lian is able to endure such hardship because his expectations are low, but also he knows all his suffering has a purpose. “If I am to become a God of misfortune, then so be it,” he says. “As long as I know deep down that I am not.” He is okay with being laughed at or avoided for his bad luck, because deep down he knows he is doing the right thing. People can withstand a great deal if they feel their suffering has meaning. In Man’s Search for Meaning, the psychiatrist Victor Frankl’s writes about the horrors of living through a concentration camp, and how over and over, it was creating purpose that allowed him, and others, to find motivation to survive. Which I think has an important lesson for self-sacrifice. People are willing to sacrifice a lot, if they feel their sacrifice has purpose.

I get it when MXTX says that she is not a guru, and maybe it’s a lot to ask of a danmei novel to take spiritual advice from it. The book wasn’t necessarily perfect, and I do have some critiques (which I was gonna add here, but this thing is already wayyy too long). But… I do think I found something really meaningful in this story—some inspiration. I want to follow Xie Lian’s example, and live with gratitude and acceptance, while keeping my faith in doing the right thing. In other words, WWXLD! (What Would Xie Lian Do?)

[culpeppercheckers721]

I'd love to hear you rant about the closet scene in Private Woodhull. If you'd like to. Heehee

YES, YES YES YES YES THE COAT ROOM SCENE, THE COAT ROOM SHIT 🤡

(Apologies it took me so long to answer this ask, wanted to take my time with it because I fucking LOVE this episode and the Kennedy House Party scene and I have much to say about it 🤪)

Although I regard the draughts scene in the finale as the moment I ACTUALLY started shipping Townhull, I started to notice their subtext earlier in season 4 which is what eventually made me start shipping them, and the point where that subtext became SO OBVIOUS to me was THIS FUCKING EPISODE. 🤡

I could talk all about the heated glares they shoot each other in Rivington’s and the undertones you could pick up from some of their conversation and how hilarious that scene plays if you imagine they ARE in a… ehem, what do people say now, “situationship”? But the real shit is definitely the Kennedy House Party scene, which Rob litERALLY INVITED HIMSELF TO WHEN HE WANTED TO GET ABE ALONE THERE. HELP.

So yes, Abe is already nervous but when Robert walks in you can tell he’s even closer to losing his composure, and the way that whole scene is framed and they stare at each other in surprise, is, as many people have pointed out before me, framed like an actual Romeo & Juliet knock-off. Quite literally. And after all of those meaningful stares, and the sheer MANNER in which Robert looks at Abe as he walks by and then talks to Arnold instead (and it is hard to see unless you zoom in but you can just barely see a very tiny Rob in the background of that shot as Abe approaches him because HE DID NOT STOP LOOKING AT HIM), it’s implied that as they’re both putting on a mask, a performance for all the redcoats and loyalists around them as they try so hard to appear “normal” once again, Robert is basically keeping an eye on Abe the entire evening before he actually appears again after the coat room debacle but let me get into that specifically!! That scene:

So of course, as we all know, it’s actually Cicero who wrote the “cloak room” note (so tempted to make the Stranger Things joke I did on my first watch like “MEET ME. BATHROOM. STEVE.”) so we don’t get a scene of them both in a dark enclosed space sadly. (Who else was half convinced they were gonna make out in the coat closet lmaooo.) But, on your first viewing, the AUDIENCE is definitely under the impression (as is Abe) that Townsend is the one who wrote the note, and is trying to have a private word with him in the coat room, and if that doesn’t read like implications of a liaison I don’t know WHAT does.

And you’re right, I didn’t even think of that, but it is really wild that the audience was led to believe they were going to meet in a CLOSET. HELLO. (And even if it’s not a traditional coat closet because the only actual use we see it get is as a “restroom”, I would still call it one.) God I wish they had in fact ended up in there after his talk with Cicero ahahah. 🤭

[But at least we have fan-fiction for that 😌]

But anyhow, after Abraham opens the coat closet, already bickering with Robert (“do you really think this is the place—”) before he realizes it’s Cicero, the immediate moment he walks back out, Townsend is already staring at him and instantly seizing his attention as he advances on him, so much so to the point where it almost looked like they were about to bump into each other before the two of them stop themselves.

And as Townsend is acting more assertive as he so often does with Abe, you can easily interpret double-meanings from some of their ensuing dialogue (“didn’t stay in New York to sit still,” “tonight, outside the coffeehouse,” etc etc, it is all very easy to take out of context if you ask me), and I also noticed it really looks like Abraham glances down at his lips or something as they’re talking? Like his eyes go down but he doesn’t seem to be facing the floor, he’s looking higher than that…?

Just food for thought, and after some more very heated stares and their talk in the hallway, again I think they laid the subtext on THICK in this scene.

Even the way it’s shot, which is significant in many of their scenes— it’s implied they’re in a hallway where they can be overhead, and yet they look so physically close to each other, and the space looks so small and enclosed as Robert properly glares at him. I don’t think it’s subtle.

The meaningful looks & typical glaring, just that way they look at each other, the implication that they could have met in a literal closet after all, how it’s all framed, the simple fact that they’re both putting on an act until they’re alone with each other… It’s something to contemplate.

What might be perceived as an incidental stare means a lot more when viewed with the history of their relationship, and with how very much tension and chemistry I’d say is woven into all of their interactions. The undertones are THERE.

I ultimately believe that, as much as so many of their scenes are laced with double-meanings, this one is particularly special as it really caught my attention the first time I saw it, and makes me think it was no accident that these two behave the way they do together. Overdramatic as it sounds, I think there is, truly, an inherent homoeroticism to the way they’re framed and portrayed in scenes like this, and how contrasting yet endlessly similar they are. There’s something so beautiful about it. Fucken love them. I may cry.

As per usual, this is not as eloquent as my language can potentially get, but I find this scene so amusing and I was so excited to do this ask that I can’t be scholarly about this right now. 😂

I usually don’t say this, but I really appreciate anyone else interested sharing this around since I spent way more time on it than was necessary. ;D

Thanks for reading! 🍂🫡

[lunarriviera]

on the importance of beta screaming

i would like to say a little bit here in this chili’s tonight about the vital, indispensible role of beta enthusiasm.

because yeah we all know we get tied in knots in our prose, write sex scenes with impossible numbers of hands, dangle modifiers, repeat words, commit horrifying typos like “he licks with his tounge.” i have several useless graduate degrees so yes i can fix all those things for you or offer revision suggestions. as well, i am a north american who lived in the uk and divorced a londoner, so i can also britpick or yankpick your fic. then, it’s important to have at least one beta who can check you if you’re writing about a culture other than your own. finally, i usually will only beta for fic with whose canon i am intimately familiar.

those things are helpful, even essential. but there is something else a beta reader not only can do, but has to do, and that is scream.

look it’s hard out here for a pimp okay. we are in our little offices or bedrooms or hunched on the bathroom floor with the phone just trying to write our little stories. we made a tiny gay man and we gave him problems, and now we are going to make it YOUR problem. and then we will all thrash around and yell happily together, for we love this tiny gay man.

but until someone picks that fic out of the tag and clicks on it and reads it and starts keysmashing in the comment box, you’re all alone. just you, in your head, in your room, while you’re walking around the park, while you’re shampooing your hair, while you’re cleaning the cat’s litter pan—it’s just you. (and, sure, also the imaginary friends who spout riveting or hilarious dialogue in your head. them too.)

and when you’re all alone with just your words and your little people, a terrible and completely unique kind of loneliness can sink in. were they the right words? were they funny, pretty, tragic, joyful, smart? do they truly convey the depth of your feeling? and above all else: can they compel someone else to feel what you felt? because you’ve read that fic that made you scream into a pillow at 2 am. and you wonder: can i do that for someone else? can i feel my feelings so strongly and so well that they reach out of the screen and haul someone else in along with them?

and in the hours, days, weeks of waiting for someone to reach back through the pixels for you, a beta steps in to fill that space. this, she will let you know, is good. this is REALLY good. this is so good she’s gonna dword. she has no chill. she is about to mclose it. how dare you. she thought you were friends. now you’re in a fight. elmo in flames dot gif., screaming girl dot png., spongebob burying himself dot webp.

this is not an OPTIONAL feature of a beta reader. this is not just a nice thing that it’s nice to have. this might be the ESSENTIAL function of a beta. her hand is over your head and it’s briefly sheltering you from the pouring rain. hey listen! she says, and she cups your face in her hands: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. and you, wherever you are in the world, even if you’re 24 hours away from her on the globe, you put your palms to your cheeks to feel the warm blush of happiness and relief. someone else is out there, picking up what you’re throwing down. and you did not fuck it up. it’s actually entirely possible that you nailed it.

without her, you wouldn’t know. and in fact in a small fandom, without her, there wouldn’t BE that much of a fandom. so you and your beta get to be a part of that little group of people who keep a set of stories, a family of characters, alive. that’s fun too. (plus you get to backchannel about all the horribly Wrong Opinions everyone else has. this both saves you from making an ass of yourself on social media, and will make you guffaw during a zoom meeting if you’re not careful.)

so get you a beta reader who’s a screamer. i said what i said. don’t settle for someone who can be nitpicky about the past perfect but who never says anything positive; people will remember and come to read the fic that’s stunning and strange and new even if you forget to use “had.”

i aim for about 50/50 between praise and suggestions (the same proportions i use as a professor), but if i’m honest it winds up being more like 80/20 for fanfic. that’s okay. if i’m gonna err, i’d rather err on the side of encouragement.

we get so little of that, either as writers or just in the world. we get so little hand-holding and shoulder rubs and affectionate hollering. so when you beta, think about letting loose a little. think about, sure, exaggerating for effect. you know how sweet it feels when someone gets all exuberant all over your drafts—so maybe allcaps a little bit, as a treat. it feels pretty great. you’ll see.

(oh and ps: save a life. leave an ao3 comment.)

[zuppizup]

DVD commentary ask game!

(I’m tempted to choose a smut fic because a DVD commentary for that sounds hilarious, but I just can’t not take Zoom-mates 🙃)

“Makes sense.” Rayla shrugged. “Filling station ahead.” She nodded at Callum, who’d mentioned they needed fuel. “Are you still bringing the jelly tarts or want me to?” She grinned at Ezran. “I’m concerned none will make it there and they’re supposed to be the cake.” “I can be trusted! You worry about your traitorous éclairs.” Ezran sounded offended, clutching the enormous white box that contained the jelly tarts while glaring at the much smaller box Rayla had in her hands. “I promised I’d do a croque-en-tart, didn’t I?” Rayla snorted, narrowing her eyes at him. “Shouldn’t that be a tart-en-bouche?” “Should it?” Ezran mused. “What do you think, Callum?” “Huh?” Callum glanced in the rear-view mirror and then at Rayla. He had totally zoned out and had no idea what they were talking about. “Paying extra attention to driving?” Rayla teased. “Na, he’s probably brain storming all kinda of stuff to do to the shack.” Ezran joked. “Gonna put your artistic touch to it too?” “Eh, yeah.” Callum frowned as he took the exit for the filling station. “You’re so lucky having weekends off to help Dad with it.” Ezran continued. “I’ll definitely have to talk to Lujanne about moving my shifts around so I can come down some weekends as well.” “Yeah.” Callum replied noncommittally. “I know solar is going to be better than the crazy loud generator but I wish we could keep it looking exactly like when we stayed there.” “Oh yeah, with the single burner stove and no T.V.?” Callum sneered as he pulled up next to an empty pump. “Crappy fly screens that let all the mosquitos in, you want to keep that too?” Ezran paused, clearly taken aback by Callum’s biting tone. “I just meant it would be nice if we could keep it as close to what it was like when we were there with Mom.” “You barely even remember, Mom.” Callum snarled bitterly as he glared at his little brother in the mirror. “What do you know?” Ezran’s face fell, his large blue eyes suddenly glassy. Without speaking, he opened his door and got out, stomping across the filling station forecourt. “What the hell, Callum?!” Rayla looked at him, a horrified expression on her face. “That went way too far.” Callum felt guilt and shame settle in his gut, his own words echoing in his head. He took a deep breath and reached for Rayla but she was already undoing her belt and slipping out her door. He watched her run across the garage after Ezran. She caught up with him just as he was about to enter the shop and Callum’s shame deepened as his younger brother turned to face Rayla, tears obvious on his cheeks, even at this distance. Callum felt tears of shame and frustration sting his own eyes. Slumping forward, he rested his forehead on the steering wheel, trying to figure out why he had lashed out like that.

Lol, hey, feel free to ask regarding a smut fic! You are privy to my “process”, Konma, so you know how dumb my brain storming sessions are. Even more so when it comes to smut. 😆

But oooh, this scene. Yeah, it was a fun one (for me, not for the characters) because, while Zoom-mates is pretty fluffy silly fantasy as far as modern AUs go, I didn’t want it to be completely conflict free. (Where’s the fun in that?)

Callum and Rayla had had a few disagreements to this point (I wouldn’t call them fights), but I thought it would be interesting to have them argue about how Callum treated Ezran. As someone with a sibling, “fighting” with your sibling is a whole other thing to fighting with pretty much everyone else in your life. I love the brother’s bond in the series and I think they’re certainly one of the healthier siblings I’ve ever seen in fiction, but they certainly do disagree.

Callum’s whole “this is why you don’t have friends” comment at the Cursed Caldera was soooo mean. I loved him for it, because I LOVE his temper, but it definitely showed how he can lash out when he’s upset or frustrated.

So, I thought it would be interesting to have something along those lines in Zoom-mates, to show that 1) Callum still has that temper and 2) Rayla is willing to call him out on being an ass, even if she is his girlfriend. I also wanted to show that she had bonded with Ezran and they have developed their own friendship essentially seperate from her relationship with Callum.

It’s super important to me to have the characters act like themselves in fic, no matter if it’s canon-compliant, canon-divergence or a modern AU as out there as Zoom-mates. So, Harrow being impulsive and not really thinking things through, resulting in Callum getting upset and lashing out, causing Ezran to get upset and run away, and then Rayla to call him out on his shitty behaviour seemed like a fun spin in the setting of the fic.

DVD commentary ask game

[ferallove-for-tx2]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐞𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐨 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨

𝐍𝐞𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭

You were busy braiding Nezuko’s hair while she went on about how she thought it was hilarious that you pranked Tanjiro in a graveyard. 

“It was so funny! I wish I could’ve seen his face when you popped out in a vampire costume!”

She laughed which caused you to pull her hair a bit since she bent forward a bit.

“Ouch.”

“Ooo, sorry Nez.”

“It’s fine- *gasp*, I just had the best idea ever!”

This peaked your interest so you asked her what it was after you finished carefully tying her last braid.

“What if we prank him again! We can dress up like you did and jump scare him! We should also record it so we can keep replaying his terrified facial expressions over and over again!”

She giggled and you giggled along with her, you both decided to set up one of your phones to record and began your diabolical plan. Nezuko went out to buy the costumes and other items needed such as colored lights, a fog machine, and washable red paint. Meanwhile you began to stall Tanjiro by asking him to run a couple errands for you to which he agreed to with no hesitation. 

When Nezuko got back with the supplies, you both started setting up the scene. Nezuko set up the fog machine and phone while you started painting red words on the ground and wall and set up the lights to your desired colors. 

Once everything was in place, you and Nezuko put on your ghost costumes and kept booing at each other and joking around before you received a text from Tanjiro.

“He’s down the street!”

“Ack, hurry and let’s get into place, imma make sure my phone is recording!”

You nodded and you both scurried to your spots and not too much later, you both heard Tanjiro walk in.

“Y/n, Nezuko, I’m back and I brought us some popcorn so we could have a movie night!”

He called and he was met with nothing but silence, and the constant screaming of the air conditioner. 

“Uhh, Nezuko? Y/n?”

No answer. He placed the bags down and walked to Nezuko’s room while staying quiet just in case one or both of you was asleep. He saw no one in her room so he went to check your shared bedroom and also saw no one in there. He was confused and decided to check the whole house before making any assumptions. 

He checked the closets, bathroom, and was about to make his way upstairs when he noticed some red paint on the wall that read, ‘Turn Back’.

“Aw they’re decorating for Halloween, that’s adorable! They probably went out to get more while I was out getting Y/n’s (whatever you wanted), I want to see what else they set up.”

He continued up the stairs, noticing the red paint was not only on the wall but also on the floor.

“I really hope this doesn’t stain…it will be such a pain to scrub it off for a while and figure out that it’s permanent hours later.”

He said to himself and as he passed the door to the attic, he smelt a light fragrance and when he looked at the ground, he saw fog. He was perplexed as to why fog was in the house, so he decided to open the door and try to find out how fog was in the house. He entered the attic and followed the fog to a fog machine and thought it was really cool.

“Woah! They got a fog machine in here? They sure are going all out for this Halloween-“

All of a sudden you and Nezuko jumped out from your spots and yelled, ‘BOO!’ He recoiled back and you and Nezuko busted it out laughing.

“Hahaha! We got him Y/n! The look on his face was PRICELESS, I’m so glad we recorded him, I’m gonna go look at it right now!”

With that said, Nezuko zoomed to the corner that her phone was recording and Tanjiro laughed a bit after calming down.

“Aw you pranked me again Y/n?”

You nodded and laughed a bit and he couldn't help but smile at the sight of his partner and sister having a great time together, even if it cost him some of his sanity.  

“You and Nezuko look so cute in those ghost costumes!”

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek and then you both heard Nezuko say ‘Eww’ and saw a disgusted look on her face.

“Go get a room, I don’t want to see that.”

You all laughed and went downstairs to put on a movie and eat the popcorn Tanjiro got. It was a relaxing night after the stunt you and Nezuko pulled and Tanjiro wasn’t the slightest bit upset. 

“Next time you want to prank someone, I want to join you guys.”

Tanjiro said and you and Nezuko agreed.

“That’s a great idea! The more, the better!

[quodekash]

CONTINUING EPISODE 5

sorry bro, she's into women

which is totally fair, have you SEEN women????

she's AGGRESSIVELY trying to communicate her love of women with him

HES SO JEALOUS THIS IS HILARIOUS

(its reminding me of sound getting really angry when pat suggests that tiw might like win)

(I PHYSICALLY CANNOT STOP TALKING ABOUT THE SATANG AND PERTH SIBLINGS AGENDA, IM SORRY (im not sorry))

IT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOSH

I LOVE

LMAO

NICE ONE

OML

IM WHEEZING

I THINK HE DREW HIM AS HANDSOME SQUIDWARD

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING IVE EVER SEEN

IM DYING

THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY

OML ITS 1 IN THE MORNING I NEED TO BE QUIET AND NOT WAKE EVERYONE UP BUT IM LAUGHING SO HARD

it's been over three minutes straight of me just laughing at this

im losing my mind

EVERY TIME I THINK IVE CALMED DOWN, I OPEN UP THE YOUTUBE TAB AGAIN, AND THEN IT BRINGS ANOTHER BURST OF LAUGHTER

I quite literally laughed about the handsome squidward drawing for nearly 5 whole minutes

OH MY GOODNESS

AND HE GETS A BASKETBALL THROWN AT HIM????

ARE WE ABOUT TO GET GUYNAWA CONTENT AS WELL???

WHEN I THOUGHT THIS EPISODE COULDNT GET ANY BETTER OMG

THEY ARE FLIRTING

TAKE NOTES, GUYS, THIS IS FLIRTING

i... have never been flirted with before. nor have I ever flirted with someone before. (at least to my knowledge)

BUT THEYRE FLIRTING GUYS THYERE FLIRTING

oh you wanna make out with him so bad

THEYRE FLIRTING SO HARD

THEYRE JUST TRYNA GET EACH OTHER'S ATTENTION

JUST MAKE OUT GUYS, ITLL BE A MORE PRODUCTIVE USE OF YOUR TIME

PO4ENKWGOPILVJWENJKGSVOJW3E4HIBSJGJPOINVOP4JWEOPINSGD

THEY SHOOK HANDS

THEIR HANDS ARE HOLDING EACH OTHER

ALSO: THEY HAVE TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER FOR AT LEAST A WHILE

AND THEN THEYRE GONNA GET USED TO BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER WITH THE FRIENDLY BANTER THROWN IN THERE FOR SPICE

AND THEN THEYRE GONNA MAKE OUT OR SMTH

WOAH

W O A H

WOAH BUDDY

I COULD FEEL THE SEXUAL TENSION OF THAT THROUGH THE SCREEN

they just need to slap their bodies against each other (clothes optional)

THE HEAD TILT

HES SO ATTENTIVE

LOOK AT THE LONGING LOVING STARE

I have no idea who this is.

but I am very much in love with her

the amount that he cares about him is literally insane and its making me insane

THE LOCKS

OH MY GOODNESS

aw nooo sailom is sad bc he knows kang likes pimfah :(

WHAT DOES HE NEED TO DO

IS HE GONNA PUT UP HIS OWN LOCK???

IS HE GONNA PUT UP HIS OWN LOCK AND ITLL BE LIKE LOCKED WITH SAILOMS OR SMTH?????

OMG OR MAYBE

MAYBE HE'S GONNA TRIP OVER IN THE ENGINEERING SQUARE THINGY

oh :(

but the sad piano music is playing and its showing sailom's face

im wanting to think that sailom's gonna turn around bc he's sad, and as soon as he starts walking away, kang's gonna suddenly have a realisation and he'll change his mind and he'll put the lock with sailom's, but im definitely delusional

what.

hang on

im so confused right now

she... likes sailom?

what?????

I-

wh

what????

I wasn't expecting a love triangle like this???

IM LITERALLY SO CONFUSED WHAT IS GOING ON

GIVE ME ANSWERS BITCH

dude.

DUDE.

D U D E

THE WAY THAT YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM RN??????

ITS MAKING ME EVEN MORE CONFUSED

D U D E

YOU'RE FOCUSSING SO MUCH ON HIS LIPS THERE HAD TO BE A ZOOM IN SHOT

THERE IS NO HETERO EXPLANATION

I WAS SO SURE KANG WOULD REALISE HIS FEELINGS TODAY BUT ITS JUST GOTTEN SO BLINDINGLY OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE EXCEPT HIM

O K A Y

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY

OKAY

ITS ALL GOOD

THANK GOODNESS

SO HE'S GONNA *PROPERLY* REALISE HIS FEELINGS NEXT WEEK AND HES GONNA DANCE AROUND TELLING HIM FOR THE ENTIRE EPISODE AND THEN THEYRE GONNA KISS AT THE END GJREKDBG I CANT WAIT

im so proud of myself for being right about that. I predicted that they're gonna kiss next week. im so freaking awesome

in other news: I am not okay

IN OTHER OTHER NEWS: IT'S ONLY 1:45AM TODAY AND IVE ALREADY FINISHED, IM DOING BETTER THAN I DID LAST WEEK

goodnight folks, and keep breathing drts

peace out ✌️

[bibiwrld]

The Sweet Babysitter🧁🎀| Miguel O’Hara

previous: –seven.

–eight.

KENEDI’S POV

The sheer horror on Miguel’s face throughout the entire movie, made me stifle a few laughs.

He was so talkative during the entire movie , demanding answers for every scene, giving me a confused look as he did so.

“What is this?”

“Are they like vampire zombies?”

“WHY DID HE DIE?!”

I laid on my back, with my head hanging off the bed and hands on my belly, laughing controllably. My stomach started cramping at how hard I laughed, Miguel is hilarious.

“There’s nothing to laugh about.” I heard Miguel sigh.

I sat up, still laughing and crawled close to him. “It’s just a movie.”

“Why did you make me watch that?” He put a hand on his forehead, then looked at me. “It was so sad.”

I fake frowned and rubbed his toned arm. “Aw, I’m sorry Miggy.”

He perked up and looked at me.

“Miggy?”

I didn’t even realize I called him a nickname, was I that comfortable around him.

“I’m sorry if that was weird.” I removed my hand from his arm.

He held my hand, his deep brown eyes staring into mine, almost lovingly. “No, I like it. My brother calls me that, but it sounds so much better when it rolls off your tongue.”

I averted my gaze, I had this overwhelming feeling in my chest.

“Can you say it again, conejita?” His hand held mine a little tighter.

I looked back at him. “M-Miggy.”

He had this satisfying look on that handsome face of his, easing his way over to me.

My body also started getting closer to his.

I could taste his breath, that’s how close we were. I could almost feel how soft those lips of his are gonna be.

“Papá!” Gabriella’s voice startled both of us, making us back away from each other.

He let go of my hand, it burned when he did that, I liked when touched me.

“Shit, she probably had a bad dream.” Miguel got out of bed. “I’m gonna check on her.”

I scratched my head and put on a smile. “Uh, yeah, I should be getting to bed anyway.”

His expression was unreadable. “Yeah, you’re right. Good night, conejita.”

I slid out of bed and made my way to the door. “Good night, Miguel.” I zoomed down the hall and went into the guest bedroom before Miguel could come out of his room to check on Gabby.

I sat on the bed, head in hands.

This was the second time we almost kissed.

🎀

I woke up to get Gabby ready for school, packed her lunch and made breakfast. Miguel was still asleep in his room.

“Kenedi, you remember my game today, right?” She played with her scrambled eggs.

I looked up from sweeping the floor. “Of course I do, Gabby. I’ll be there, I promise.” I smiled at her.

That seemed to get her in a better mood.

“Hurry and eat, the school bus will be here soon.” I swept up the dirt and threw it in the garbage.

“Okay!” She answered.

I turned to wash my hands at the sink.

“Morning.”

I turned around to see Miguel, shirtless and yawning while rubbing his eye. My eyes were sinfully glued to his body, looking from his slightly chest to his happy trail. I bit my thumb at the sight, trying to regain composure.

“Buenos dias, Papá.” Gabriella hopped off the chair and hugged her father’s leg.

That brought me back to reality, removing my thumb from my mouth and back to my normal breathing.

“Mija!” He beamed, lifting her into the air, she giggled uncontrollably.

I smiled at the adorable scene before me. “Good morning, Miguel.”

Miguel looked at me, putting Gabby back on the floor. “Slept well?”

The rasp in his voice made my thighs press together. “I did, thank you again.”

“It’s really nothing, think of here as your second home.” His gaze never left mine.

“Tha-thank you.” I stuttered.

I mentally cursed myself for stuttering like that in front of him.

“Papá, my game is today!” Gabby jumped around.

Miguel’s smiled widely. “How could I forget that? I wouldn’t miss it for anything.” He placed a kiss on her forehead.

I looked out the window to see the bright yellow bus nearing. I quickly grabbed her backpack and lunch bag, handing them to her and helping her.

“Have a good day, okay?” I kneeled down and smiled.

She hugged me tightly. It was a shock to me, my heart swelled at her actions, hugging her right back. She then hugged her Father’s leg and ran out the door.

“Bye Papá! Bye Kenedi!”

“Bye!” Miguel and I said in unison, our eyes meeting each other’s.

“You’re really good with her.” He spoke. “I don’t think anyone else could do this job as good as you.

I smiled uncontrollably, looking down at my bare feet. “Th-thank you, Miguel. There’s some breakfast in the oven, if you want.”

His eyes brightened. “Oh thank you.”

I looked at the time on the stove. 8:45. I’ve got time to sit and eat breakfast.

“Would you like to eat breakfast with me? We’ve got time to burn, right?”

I honestly wasn’t expecting that request. “Uh yeah, we do. I would like that very much.”

I shared our breakfast for both of us and we sat, and ate, and talked until it was nearing my time to go to work.

“Gosh, I’ve gotta get going.” I picked up both of our plates, putting them in the sink. “My boss’ flight will arrive soon.”

Miguel sighed. “Do you really have to go?”

I laughed. “You should also get ready for work.”

He groaned, almost like he was a child.

I couldn’t help but laugh, he’s so cute.

“I love your laugh.”

My laughter ended at his surprising comment. His eyes looked at me so softly, almost dreamily.

“Thank you.” My voice trembled. “I’m gonna get ready.”

🎀

Finally off from work, I went home to shower before going to Gabby’s soccer game. I pulled my braids into a ponytail with a pink ribbon, slid on a brown nike hoodie, pink shorts and my favorite pair of baby pink converse.

All the parents cheered for their children, clapping loudly and calling their names.

I cheered for Gabby, she’s number 8. She looked around, spotting me with the happiest look on her face.

“Go Gabby, that’s my baby!” An unfamiliar voice cheered.

I turned around to see a gorgeous woman with long, dark brown hair, tan skinned and dark red lipstick, she almost looked like..Gabby?

My eyes widened in realization. That is Gabby’s mother…Miguel’s ex wife, she has to be. I’ve never seen her before, but it has to be her.

She’s a bombshell, wow.

My phone vibrated. I turned back around to check it, it was a text from Miguel.

Miguel

Just arrived to the school

Me

Okay

I twisted my lips, contemplating on if I should tell him his ex wife is here, maybe he knows, right?

It took no time for Miguel to find me, greeting me with that charming smile of his.

“Conejita, how’s the game going?”

Looking up at him, I smiled. “Ga—”

“Miiiggguuueeelll!” Before I knew it, arms were around Miguel’s shoulders.

I looked back to see her, Miguel’s ex wife, standing on the bleachers to reach his level. I bit my inner cheek and continued watching the game, trying not to seem bothered.

Miguel’s loud sigh made me look back at the pair. He didn’t look too pleased, removing her arms from his shoulders.

“Oh come on, so grumpy all the time.” She rolled her eyes, stepping in between me and Miguel.

They looked perfect together.

Miguel looked over her head to look at me, giving me an almost apologetic look. “Kenedi, this is Lorelai, Gabriella’s mother.”

“You can say ex wife too, you know?” Her eyes rolled, then she looked to me. “Nice to meet you, so you’re Kenedi.”

I grew nervous. “Ye-yes.”

“Gabby talks about you all the time, thank you for taking care of her.” She pulled some of her hair back.

“It’s really no problem.” I gave her a nervous smile.

Lorelai flashed me an almost blinding smile. Was she just perfect in every way?

🎀

Next: –nine.

[shsl-analyzer-guy]

Dangantober Day 8- Favorite Survivor (no repeats) (yes ik it's the 16th idc)

Adding in some yap bc I posted this and then immediately remembered I had a zoom meeting lol

Toko is a bit of a marvel within the DR cast as being the only character to be active for two games (speaking on a meta level and not an in-universe game ofc). And honestly, that's what lands her in this spot for me, because like many other of her fans, I found Toko to be insufferable for basically my entire first run of THH. She had some interesting points here and there, sure, but nothing that wasn't being done with someone else in the cast, and Genocide Jack easily had more charm to the point where I was actively disappointed whenever Toko was fronting. She was rude towards her classmates, a stalker, and doing nothing for basically the entire game, exhibiting no character growth and being unimportant to the point where her main role in the final showdown was shutting up and letting Jack take over, being the only survivor not to come to some sort of personal realization to choose hope. She was kind of just an accessory to Jack for me, which is hilarious because I'm pretty sure Kodaka in all his ableist glory intended them to be interpreted the other way around lol

Thankfully, UDG exists, and it rocket launched Toko into not only my top 3 survivors, but also my top 5 Danganronpa characters of all time. By playing off the fact that Toko felt like she did nothing in THH and actively wanting to be better because of the heroism she witnessed from Makoto, Byakuya, and the others, she almost immediately goes from ungodly irritating to relatively rootable, and pairing her with a character who takes a sarcastic "I'm allergic to machines" at face value puts the playing audience in a similar point of frustration and intrigue that Toko herself is feeling.

There are three Tokos that exist in DR- the Toko in THH, the Toko at the start of UDG, and the Toko at the end of UDG. Each one gets progressively more rootable as you not only learn more bits of her past that full in the gaps from THH, but also watch her self-reflect and find her own convictions in real time within UDG. She perfectly demonstrates how anyone, even the people that seem the most disgusting at first, can grow and change when given love and support, and that's some fantastically with her relationships with both Naegis, even if one is much more focused on than the other. You can feel the impact having that kind of support does for her, and inspires her to become a better version of herself the way any kind of healthy relationship does. It's admirable, and the only time we get a story like this in such a strong manner. Like, yeah, there are plenty of other characters that are inspired to change by others, but typically, the inciting incident is their loved one dying horrifically. Not so with Toko, who is inspired by their life rather than her projection of them after their death. Toko goes to show you can build your own change, that the people around you are worth the best version of yourself, and that you always have the right to be better. And I adore her for it.