#it's hard when you love the character - like joyce is one of my very favorites

[lucassinclaer-archive]

i've once again neglected my joyceposting

[coraniaid]

🔥 on fuffy's dynamic? or anything fuffy related

I think most Fuffy shippers – me included for sure – have a habit of making Faith seem a bit too … well, nice.

Don’t get me wrong: I like Faith a lot.  Not just as a character – and she is one of my favorite characters on the show, even if she only appears in less than two dozen episodes – but on a personal level too I have a lot of empathy for her.  I think she has a pretty rough deal in life.  I think she’s very badly let down by a lot of people, both before and after becoming a Slayer.  I think the narrative itself is often far less sympathetic to her than it is to other characters. I think she’s pretty miserably unhappy most of the time, and I think her redemption arc is genuinely very good, even with the little we see of her post-Sanctuary.

That said, it feels to me that a lot of Fuffy fanfiction is written by people who have decided, whether consciously or not, that the “real” Faith is the Faith we see awkwardly asking Buffy if she wants to go the dance with her in Homecoming since she already has the tickets, or showing up on Buffy's doorstep in Amends with some crappy Christmas presents, still not quite able to admit there was never any “big party” she could have gone to instead, however obvious it is at this point, and somehow managing to make a million different heartbreaking microexpressions when Buffy says she’s glad to see her. 

Yes, I like those moments too – I like them a lot – and I think that they are definitely indicative of a real aspect of Faith, one she tries hard to keep hidden most of the time.  But I think it’s an injustice to her character to make that the sum total of her personality.  If this were all there was to Faith’s character, she wouldn’t be half as compelling.

What about the Faith who, however troubled she looked at first, manages to shrug off the fact her new boss is planning to have Willow murdered when he tells her he’s also bought her a Playstation?  What about the Faith who attacks Joyce, ties her up and threatens to kill her?  What about the Faith who fantasies about stabbing Willow and taunts Tara by telling her how much Willow used to love Oz?  What about the Faith who, right from her first appearance, is perhaps a little bit too into beating up vampires and killing demons?  What about the Faith who threatens to torture Buffy, who tries to kill Angel, who definitely does torture Wesley and who kills Professor Worth while he begs for his life?  What about the Faith who probably was going to kill Xander? What about what Faith does to Buffy in Who Are You?

I’m not saying all Fuffy authors should exclusively write angst-ridden enemies-to-lovers in which for the first 100,000 words Faith really does seem to revel in being able to kill things without consequences even as she lets her obsession with Buffy Summers lead her into actively and deliberately trying to hurt her or bring her down to her level. (Though it would perhaps be nice if some of it was like this!)  I don’t have any moral objection if people would rather write fluff in which Faith and Buffy have an awkward first kiss at the Homecoming Dance, or AUs in which Faith never sides with the Mayor, or post-canon fic which takes for granted the fact that Faith is now redeemed and happily devoted to Buffy (it would make me a bit of a hypocrite if I did, since I’ve written all of these things).

But the sort of Fuffy writing and meta that I most enjoy, even if it doesn’t dwell on Faith’s worst moments or if it takes place in a continuity where they conveniently haven’t happened, always treats Faith as somebody who could do those things, if the circumstances were just a little bit different.  Always recognizes her as somebody who does have a lot of barely-suppressed anger in her, who is more likely to listen to an authority figure who tells her what she wants to hear than one who doesn’t, who is more than a little bit jealous of Buffy’s life, who does think, deep down, that being a Slayer makes her better than other people.

To me, that’s the appeal of Faith as a character and also of her relationship with Buffy. The two things are kind of inseparable.  Faith is a reflection of a lot of Buffy’s own worst impulses; she’s somebody that Buffy could have been if things had turned out differently (and if Buffy hadn’t had a certain inner strength and self-belief that Faith, for all her posturing, doesn’t quite ever have herself).  She’s the Buffy we’ll see hints of throughout Season 6, the Buffy we saw in Season 2’s When She Was Bad, the Buffy we see in Season 3’s The Wish. And, as a reflection of Buffy, she has some of Buffy’s strengths as well as exaggerated versions of some of Buffy’s flaws.  She’s not uncomplicatedly Evil, even at her worst, but she does a lot of things that are very hard to forgive, and she enjoys doing some of them more than some people like to admit.

I think if somebody’s going to try to write Fuffy, and get both Buffy and Faith right, that’s something they need to remember.  Let Faith have some jagged edges.  Let her be a little bit dangerous.  Let her be a little bit cruel. Let her be a little bit self-destructive.  Put simply: let her be Faith.

[kiirotoao]

I would like to know your opinion about soundtracks. I've already seen theories about The First lie and The first I love you, and many people think the soundtrack matters. But have you ever thought that they could really be random? I recently watched the series and found out that the soundtrack that played in the romantic scenes between Vicky and Robin was the same as in the scenes when Еl puts on Nancy's dress and Mike calls her pretty.

Oo, the soundtrack!! I love talking about the soundtrack parallels whenever they come up, especially the motifs of “Kids, “ “Eulogy,” “Eleven,” “This Isn’t You,” so on and so forth, plus, of course “The First Lie”/“The First I love You.” This is a really good question, because the way that the soundtrack is titled seems to indicate to me that it’s important to help express the emotions and often evoke memories for each scene, even if the titles don’t seem to match the mood. But I don’t think that the soundtrack is ever played randomly.

As for the scenes you’re referring to, you’re right, and it’s kinda hard to explain. I’m not even sure myself. The track that plays behind the scene where the boys are helping to disguise El and the scene where Robin and Vickie are making PB&Js is called “Kids Two.”

At first, I swore that this was “Still Pretty” but it’s not! It has notes of the riffs from “Kids” but with a slower tempo, and I think that maybe using this track was meant to parallel the tones of budding attraction and the purity of the moment apart from the world’s chaos - in other words - the innocence and some typical affections during one’s youth, thus, kids. And, yeah, as much as Robin and Vickie are teens, they’re still technically kids, so, it works.

But as much as I try to justify that title, another great one that doesn’t technically make sense is “On The Bus.”

This track plays when Lucas and Max have a heart-to-heart on the bus in season 2, and it also plays when Mike and Will have a heart-to-heart in Will’s room (aka the apology scene) in season 4. And I really don’t have an explanation for this title (besides the literal meaning because Lucas and Max were sitting on a bus) other than maybe it could be a metaphor for taking a pause and letting people in like how busses stop at different stations? Otherwise, like this example, I think that sometimes the soundtrack isn’t literally a direct callback to what it’s titled but rather a callback to the things happening during the scene.

That being said, some soundtrack titles are really specific to their titles and what’s happening, like “The First Lie” and “The First I love You.” And of course they hold very clear similarities just in a slightly more developed state. This is also found in “Kids” and “Teens.”

I think that Stranger Things, as it’s expanded, has also expanded a lot of its soundtrack. As it stands, seasons 1 and 4 have around 80 tracks on their own, meanwhile, seasons 2 and 3 have around 30-40.

Season 1 set the train running for motifs later on, seasons 2 and 3 lightly expanded (but of course most notably added “The First Lie” and “The First I love You”), and then season 4 re-contextualized and aged a lot of familiar tracks from all three.

I notice the soundtrack more and more whenever I rewatch season 4, most often of all seasons. They use a lot of established tracks almost like Star Wars does with certain characters such as “Eleven” for her moments in the lab and “Papa” for his. One of my favorite motifs and favorite reappearances in season 4 is “One Blink for Yes” which signifies a moment with lights across the Upside Down. It’s the track that played when Joyce first saw the lights from Will in season 1 and then it played when Nancy, Robin, Steve, and Eddie discovered the glowing particles in the Upside Down.

So, yeah, overall, the titles are not perfectly aligned across seasons to what’s happening on screen or, on the other hand, are extremely specific to what’s happening onscreen and thus might not carry over in other scenes too smoothly, but I think that it’s clear which tracks are meant to express bonds, romantic interest, discovery, and other key elements as a supplement to the scene. And I think that the motifs in particular are most important (many of which Byler have so 😉).

[brionysea]

I feel like I'd like jopper more if Hopper wasn't a cop. Honestly I like Bob more, and wish he didn't die, and felt like he was better for Joyce. I don't dislike Hopper, I just feel like his character could have been better. Maybe it's just my own personal views. But he's an OK character. He's not my favorite. I like the actor and glad he got more roles. But he's over all not my favorite. Because of the cop issues mixed with his anger/violent issues

Honestly I think that most people just aren't very good at writing romance...

On top of that, all the women on Stranger Things are intentionally better when they're operating independently, as commentary on how the societal pressure to be wives and mothers makes them smaller (although Joyce was amazing when she was acting as a mother, because she's special like that - I'd say she probably *wanted* children and definitely loves them now that they're here, which makes her seem more at home in it, as opposed to someone like Karen Wheeler who was trapped into it).

Nancy is an exception to the rule, because when she's investigating with Jonathan they're still entertaining to watch (aligned interests and the freedom to choose your own path, instead of being pressured into a romantic relationship where you have to pretend to be someone you're not to fit your role, make for a better match - they put the effort in to prove it with Nancy/Jonathan), but Joyce and Hopper were better as a duo *before* season 3, when they got explicitly romantic and Hopper got annoying. The proof of concept isn't really there for them, so it's hard for me to buy that they're better off romantically involved when all evidence (so far) points to the contrary.

I know season 4 was supposed to be Hopper's redemption arc or whatever, but I am. not convinced. He was abusing his power (aka enforcing POLICE BRUTALITY) constantly in S3, and a sob story in one scene isn't really enough for me to see past that. It's too real to just breeze past. They'll probably make him normal again in S5 and I'll like him again (honestly I just thought he was fine before too), but at this point I don't have much affection for his character, and his S4 subplot was so boring (as well as committing the cardinal sin of dragging Joyce down with it) that I'm like "would it be *so* bad if he just stayed dead?"

[blush-and-books]

Top 5 all-time favorite ships?

TEA!!!

Warning - this list is literally just the same m/f couple in different fonts. A lot of these were more formative and influential in my childhood or were from series that are from a couple years ago. I am naming these as my top five because of how insane I went over them/how hard I hyperfixated on them.

When I made this list I was disappointed to realize that there hasn't been a wlw couple from a series or movie that has influenced me this powerfully, but I hope to find it soon and if you have any recs lmk! :) Will also include honorable mentions!

1. Kirsten Clark and Cameron Goodkin, Stitchers (2015-2017)

This is tied with Julie and the Phantoms for one of my biggest hyperfixations ever. Kirsten and Cameron were a slowburn that was done really beautifully and nobody was doing it like them. I watched this show at a very pivotal developmental point in my life, and I think these two taught me a lot about the work that a relationship takes and the fact you have to be willing to put it in - they were a healthy relationship example for me at a time that it was necessary for me to see it. They have a lot of character development over 3 seasons but grow together in healthy ways, and the writers kind of bake it into the plot that they're meant to be lmao. They also are just a great example of loving someone for everything that they are. They definitely made me a little mentally ill but also inspired me to be a writer, so...

2. Julie Molina and Luke Patterson, Julie and the Phantoms (2020)

I don't know how long you have been following me anon, but if I've been on your dash at all in the past couple years, it was most definitely related to Julie and the Phantoms, and probably related to Julie and Luke. In one season, they had insane development and beautiful chemistry. The way their characters were written made them naturally fit together, and made me cry "soulmates!" quite often. I will forever mourn what they could have been, and be grateful for some of the most stellar works of fanfiction I've ever read that were produced in their name.

3. Anne Shirley Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe, Anne With An E (2018-2020)

Technically they're from the whole Anne of Green Gables Universe but AWAE is one of my Shows Of All Time ™ lol so I'm crediting them to the show!!! Just everything about them..amazing. Definitely gave me unrealistic expectations for love tho bc who tf assaults a man and still bags him in the end!??? Anne. She's that bitch and I haven't reached that yet but I'm working towards it.

4. Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy, Pride & Prejudice (2005, dir. Joe Wright)

This is another one of those ships where I'm like if you've followed me long enough you could have seen this coming lol. These two are from the general Pride & Prejudice Universe, first created by the lovely Jane Austen, but P&P 2005 is by far my favorite movie of all time, and it is still breathtaking every time I watch it. Keira Knightley and Emmy Award Winner Matthew Macfadyen are really a perfect pair and their adaptations of the characters are so genuine and whole. Everything I do, I do for them.

5. Nina Martin and Fabian Rutter, House of Anubis (2011-2013)

My original Ship of All Time. Was very mentally ill over them. I rewatched this show last year and I expected to be like "oh god this is cringe how did young me like this so much" but instead I was like "oh god this is so well written how could anybody hate this show." Yes it has its silly moments but I could write essays on how well it was written. The foundation of trust between Nina and Fabian was more powerful than any "do you trust me?" YA teen fantasy movie moment of the 2000s. Fabian was the blueprint for every fictional crush I have had since.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Kaz Brekker and Inej Ghafa, Six of Crows Duology and Shadow & Bone TV series

Aziraphale and Crowley, Good Omens

Su-hyeok and Nam-Ra, All Of Us Are Dead

Joyce Byers and Jim Hopper, Stranger Things

Zoya Nazyalensky and Alina Starkov, Shadow & Bone Trilogy and TV series (yes I am a Zoyalina truther sorry)

Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf, Gossip Girl (will I receive hate for this one? to be determined)

Steve Harrington and Eddie Munson, Stranger Things

John B and Sarah Cameron, Outer Banks

Ethan and Sarah, My Babysitter's a Vampire

[aimmyarrowshigh]

fic writer meme: 2, 12, 22, 32, 42, 52, 62, 72?

Answering under a read-more!

2. Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

For long multi-chapter fics, I plan ahead by chunk but not necessarily by chapter -- I have a general outline and I write to that, and then after I write, I cut it down into chapters where there are "good breaks." I never decide ahead of time how many chapters I'll have and then outline to that, though! That's too much planning for me.

For long one-shots, I generally don't plan and I often don't outline more than knowing the beginning, the climax or big turning-point, and the ending? (And I often don't know the ending tbh.)

12. How does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

I would say that not getting feedback affects me less than it used to, just because there are so many things that I write now that DON'T get any feedback that if it still made me feel like total shit, I'd feel like total shit all the time, and I don't have the bandwidth for that.

Getting feedback definitely makes me feel more connected to a fandom, though, and inspires me to want to create more for that fandom than the fandom(s) where I don't get any feedback. Fandoms like Steve/Bucky, The Baby-Sitters' Club, Scooby-Doo, and Miss Fisher give me more creative energy through feedback than, say, The Old Guard where I don't really get any feedback anymore, even though I objectively like TOG in a more "fannish" way than Scooby-Doo, or whatever.

I'm in fandom in large part for the connection to other people who love the stuff that I love. If there's no feedback, then a major part of the equation is missing for me, and if I don't feel like the other people who love the thing are out there, then it makes me love the thing less, too.

22. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Not really -- it depends on the fandom and how to best serve the story. I've written in first-person, second-person, and third-person POV; I've written non-HEA darkfic; I've written kink and vanilla and gen; I've written slash, femslash, and het. There are certain tropes/kinks that I personally am not at all into and wouldn't write just because I personally don't think I'd ever like a fandom where those were in-character for the characters, but that's just kinktomato. There are a LOT of things that I wouldn't write "on request," though, because I would have to have an actual inspiration to be able to feel out the thread of the story -- like, I wouldn't write Steve Harrington/Joyce Byers for an auction/exchange fic, even though I wrote a 10k fic for them. Same with Poe Dameron/Ben Solo.

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

This changes all the time and I more have favorite fics than favorite writers, but I always love @dracosollicitus, @fille-lioncelle, and @kaikamahine when their fandoms-they-write line up with fandoms-I-read. But 99% of the time I pick to read something based on the summary and not the writer.

42. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

I've been in a book reading phase for a while now and less of a fic reading phase, so I'm not 100% positive what the last fic I read was! HONESTLY it was most likely a reread of owlet's Infinite Coffee & Protection Detail series, which I recommend to literally everyone all the time. It's a fic I would recommend to my DAD, it's that good.

52. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do but I'm slowwwwww at it. I get anxious that I'm going to sound stupid or conceited or something, so I let the comments pile up until there are an unreasonable amount and then I get overwhelmed by how many there are and how long I've been sitting on them. It's a bad system, but it's what I got. I do try to write back reasonably quickly if someone asks an actual question or something, though.

62. Thoughts on cliffhangers?

Very hard to write well. Even in books. I can count the number of actually good cliffhangers I've read on my fingers, and honestly at this exact moment the only one I can really say definitely counts is the end of Catching Fire (THG #2). I think A LOT of the time they feel really contrived and don't actually hit that emotional tension spot that a good cliffhanger needs to hit. Oh, you know what fic has a good one? The Maskfic (despite the threatening sky and shuddering earth (they remained) by @praximeter). It's not the ending, it's the chapter-ender of the Big Reveal.

72. What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

It depends on the format! For a free prose longfic like Lent From Tomorrow, I write out of order and just go for the scenes in the way that they come to me and lead into/from one another. Usually it starts from either the climax or the opener and then jumps around to get from one to the other.

BUT if I'm writing something as a structured drabble series like Not In The Answer But The Question or Could Use A Guy Like Me, I write strictly in order chronologically. Those I can't write out of order because I would die.

[bunnimew]

What do you think about the GOC books? Personally I enjoy them, but separate to the film. It’s very hard to connect the two worlds in my head especially when Joyce keeps rewriting the lore every couple years (no hate, love him as a person but it can get frustrating). With the added lore from his insta and stuff it just doesn’t feel like the same story

Hello Anon!!

I try pretty hard not to yuck somebody else's yum when it comes to the GoC books. I know people like them and I don't want to dampen their happiness.

But man. Do I not like those books. I didn't even finish Toothiana's, technically, because I got so bored that skimming wasn't even good enough and I took pictures of the pages before I had to send it back to the library, telling myself I'd read them later. I never went back and read them. And at this point, I likely never will.

I have a laundry list of problems with the books. And if you really want to know the full extent, you'll have to ask in a private message somewhere because I don't want to make random strangers on the internet upset. But my dislike goes beyond the movie and book canons not lining up. Honestly, Joyce should have just embraced them being different canons, and the fifth book would have been better for it.

The tidbits from his insta don't even make sense half the time 😂 I appreciate his love of imagination and I respect that he just wants kids to feel a sense of wonder, but my personal journey with imagination and wonder do not work with his modus operandi.

I love hard science. I always have. To me, the weird things that are real will always be more fantastic than the weird things someone made up. I love the whole magic is science we don't understand yet concept, and given what the leading edge of science is doing right now? It feels real to me. Scifi is my home genre, and when scifi meets fantasy? My heart sings.

Joyce threw science so hard out the window it left orbit.

So there was really never a chance that I was going to seriously like these books. And his continued dismissal of continuity, while his right as a creator, feels like sandpaper to my physicist soul.

I do enjoy seeing what people pick from book canon to apply to movie canon when writing/drawing AUs. That can get very creative and interesting, especially since some of the characters from the books are solid and would have been cool to have in the movie. Kam and I, ourselves, have used book characters in our fics, because they do add something to the whole. Twiner and Jamie teaming up on Jack has become one of my favorite things.

So I'm glad the books exist. You just won't be finding them in my personal collection.

Thank you, Anon!!

[nightshift-clocking-in]

10 books

Thank you to @wanderingdonut for the tag, I love any excuse to talk about books. 🖤(These are in no particular order)

PET by Akwaeke Emezi

I read this book in summer of 2021 and I think about it all the time. Something in this book rewired my brain, I cried so much that I left stains on the pages. It poses the question if there was a utopia, a perfect society, would there still be monsters? Honestly its fantastic, but please check the trigger warning because it discusses a lot of hard topics.

What if its us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

Words cannot describe how funny this book is to me. Chaotic and completely ridiculous, but this book made me fall in love with audio books, I listen to it once a year and still laugh out loud.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyers

This is the book and author that made me fall in love with stories. Its why I love retellings and fanfics (Marissa Meyer was a fanfic author before she was published hehe). If you knew me around the age of 15-16 there is a good chance that I read at least the first book out loud to you. But this story is what inspired me to start writing when I was younger and for that reason, it will always hold a special place in you heart.

One last stop by Casey Mcquiston

A lot of people apparently don't like this book, I don't care I do. I love this book, the mystery, the side characters, the trauma? Amazing. There is so much going on, and I say that as a good thing, so many little things to keep you on your toes to try and figure it out before the end. Honestly it's amazing, and made me feel seen in a way I never had in books before. Also a light sprinkling of smut and mommy issues.

Gender Queer by Maia Kebabe

I'm a firm believer that you should read banned books. So I read this only for it to give me a gender crisis (I know the irony) and I realized so many things I assumed were universal experiences where in fact not. Honestly, it's super funny to think about now but I did have a breakdown while read this on my friends broken couch while they played sims. Truly iconic.

The Princess Bride by William Goldman

This book breaths summer to me, a very important person in my life read it to me while on camping trips over an entire summer. It has everything you could want in a book; adventure, sword fighting, pirates, death and true love. If you have not at least watched the movie, you should.

The Guardians of Childhood Series by William Joyce

It's been years since I read this, but the world building, imagery and the lessons at the heart of the stories where beautiful. I read this to the kids in my life when they were younger, and its just a beautiful story full of whimsy and hope.

So this is Ever After by F.T Lukens

This book poses the question of what happened after your question end, you beat the evil king but how do you repair a kingdom that's been cursed for 100 years? Honestly the first page of this made me laugh so hard I had to put it down, its just fantastic.

Heartless by Marissa Meyers

I know I already listed a book by this author but I'm sorry I just love it so much. Alice in wonderland is my favorite classic story of all time, so retelling are hit or miss with me, and this is perfect. I love how its a prequel, to the world and you meet the character in much different circumstances. The Queen before she was a queen, the hatter before he when mad, and new characters too. It fills me with childlike wonder. I have a complete annotated and dissected copy of this book going into all the details of the world. I read it at least once a year. And this is what got me back into writing as an adult, which seems silly to say out loud but it's true.

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall

Just chaotic all the time. I have not read all of this authors works, but from the ones I have they are hilarious. While this is a silly little romcom with some of the funniest details (Like a dung beetle ball) it also goes over a lot of harder topics; complicated relationships with parents, guilt, OCD, ignoring your own need so you can "be better", ect. Sometimes you just have to stop caring about what others think, and realize that its okay to be a mess, because everyone is a mess all the time.

No pressure tags:@crying-lightningx , @jegulusofwesper, @underburningstars,

[artemismatchalatte]

A Grad Student’s Notes on The Well of Loneliness (1 of ?)

I started (technically re-reading) Radclyffe Hall’s The Well of Loneliness, the banned British Lesbian classic from 1928. I read this book once ten years ago but man, I must have been sleeping or something then because wow this slaps very hard (and I’m not even on page 50 yet). 

So far, Hall writes more like a Victorian writer than someone like Woolf or Joyce who both more closely embody modernism (the three were contemporaries which is why I compare them). 

Her heroine Stephen Gordon is said to be very close to Hall herself. She was also a rich couple’s only child and was attracted to women. The historic term which she used to describe herself was “invert” which was based on German sexology in the late 1800s and early 1900s; male inverts were thought to have female souls and female inverts were thought to have male souls. Hall’s novel featured a main character who was a female invert, like she herself was. Likely Hall would either be a butch lesbian or trans today (we can’t say which because she lived before there was a clear delineation between those two identities; the two communities have been extremely close historically). 

Stephen’s relationships to her parents and her first crush on one of the young maids is detailed in this section of the book. She’s closer to her father than her mother. She idolizes both her parents who don’t really seem to know what to do with her. She’s protective of her hyperfeminine mother and tries to copy her father and the stable master whom she comes to trust as a good friend. 

Her father is also shown secretly studying a German theory of sexology book late at night (Ulrichs) because he thinks his daughter is an invert. Hall did eventually go study in Germany as a young woman so that’s probably where she learned about these theories herself. Weimar Germany had surprisingly progressive attitudes towards LGBT people and had one of the biggest gay and trans communities in Europe in the 1910s and 1920s. Hall went there in the early 1910s before WWI and that’s where she met one of the major loves of her life, the singer, Mable Batten. 

Hall’s faith (she was a Catholic) informs this novel much more than I had expected. Young Stephen becomes obsessed with trying to cure the Maid Collin’s injured knee by praying to Jesus to take the pain instead. She also directly says she’s fine with taking punishment if she’s caught thinking about Collins when she’s supposed to be doing her school work. Hall doesn’t shy away from the intensity of Stephen’s feelings; the rawness of her characters’ emotion reminds me of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights (an instant favorite for me). If you’re going to love you may as well love with a reckless abandon that borders on madness or religious devotion (take your pick). Both Hall and E. Bronte would agree on this point. 

Collins is dismissed for an affair with the footman, who is also sacked. Stephen’s next obsession is her horse that her father buys her for her birthday who- I really wish I was kidding-she also names Collins. There was known coding between women and horses in Victorian pornography so much of her audience would know what she’s doing here but even without that connection; Hall’s basically winking at us here because she made it so obvious that we know the insinuation. 

Not even fifty pages into the book and I can already see why 1920′s England lost it’s mind over this. I am a 21st century American Lesbian myself and some of my reactions at different points were also- “Did she really just say that? Oh, girl...” And yes, she did. Hall wrote extremely clearly so it’s impossible to mistake or misinterpret her message as anything else. 

This is the story of a masculine little girl who grows up to realize that she absolutely adores women (to the point of her own self-destruction, at times, which is a whole ‘nother level of ouch to read especially if you’re WLW yourself).

Hall did not shy way or back down when challenged in court over the matter at her censorship trial. Say what you want about the girls and horses, but hats off to Hall for making a valiant attempt to defend gay rights and gay love through penning this novel.

[scheodingers-muppet]

Taylor Time again! Debut album time. Also, I'm so excited about the eras tour! it's gonna be my first time seeing Taylor live and I'm probably never gonna shut up about it

Tim McGraw: Lumax. "He said the way my blue eyes shined put those Georgia stars to shame that night. I said that's a lie." Max wouldn't know what to do with a genuine compliment like that. "I was right there beside him all summer long. And then the time we woke up find that summer gone" The whole chorus too. Max thinks of the dance for her happiness. Being with Lucas. Even if they aren't together, she would hope he thinks of her too. "In a box beneath my bed is a letter that you never read from three summers back"

Picture To Burn: El. This one is all headcannon. But I think Joyce would get scary-angry over a bad breakup like this and I think El would pick that up the longer she's with her. Same from Max. We've seen her get angry already, during season 2 especially. I don't think she'd be like this with Mike, but with whoever she dates after (if it isn't Max). I also love the line "my daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be" and the fact that Hopper is overprotective of her

Teardrops On My Guitar: Steddie. I had to. My favorite trope is Steve talking about his crush on Eddie as a way to flirt, but being slightly vague (like, "they've got the best curly hair") and Eddie just not connecting the dots.

A Place in this World: Max. "Even though I'm not the only who feels the way I do, I'm alone on my own and that's all I know" "I'll be strong, I'll be wrong" "I'm just a girl trying to find a place in this world" "I don't know what I want" This song is so Max coded

Cold As You: Stancy. "I start a fight cause I need to feel something" "I'm not what you wanted" "Ain't no use defending words that you will never say" "Every smile you fake is so condescending" "Counted all the scars you made"

The Outside: Steve. "How can I ever try to be better? Nobody ever let's me in" "I've been a lot of lonely places. I've never been on the outside" "I would give it all up to be a part of this"

Tied Together with a Smile: Platonic Stobbin. They are both extremely strong, brave, important characters who put themselves down so much. I also can imagine them saying the chorus to each other. But the first part is about Robbin. She puts herself down a lot in season 4, talking about how she know she can be too much and that she's awkward. Second part is Steve and how he goes above and beyond for all his people. Especially the line "I guess it's true that love was all you wanted, cause you're giving it away like it's extra change"

Stay Beautiful: Ronance. I love the idea of Robin calling Nancy her "beauty." Like "Sorry, I can't pick up another shift, I have to see my beauty" But also, I think Nancy would deal with some impostor syndrome and imagine Robin there to help her through it. "it's hard to make a conversation when (s)he's taking my breath away" Even if they never date, Robin would tell her she's beautiful

Should've Said No: Stancy. Enough said tbh

Mary's Song: Byler. "I looked at you like the stars that shine in the sky" "take me back to the house in the backyard tree" and Castle Byers. "The time we had our very first fight...you stayed outside till the morning light" This whole song is about marrying your childhood best friend

Our Song: (fun fact; this is the first Taylor song I ever heard) Jopper. This one is also all headcannon. I think they dated in high school and had a very similar thing to the Nancy-Steve-Jonathan thing. I can imagine a young Hopper sneaking to Joyce's room and them having quiet conversations like with Steve and Nancy. Then them getting back together now and reminiscing about their high school dates.

I'm Only Me When I'm With You: Platonic Stobbin again. They would so spend their Friday nights off work with each other. "Living in a crazy world, trying to figure out what is and isn't true" "I don't try to hide my tears, the secrets, or my biggest fears" Robin came out to Steve even though she was terrified "Nobody gets me like you do"

Invisible: Pre-Jancy. They likely knew each other kinda well through their brothers and I think Jon had been crushing on her for a bit. He would likely see her with Steve and think they wouldn't be a good fit. I can also really see this being from Barb's point of view

A Perfectly Good Heart: Lumax, from Lucas's point of view. After the first real break up - after Billy - Lucas is hurt. He's confused and angry but he doesn't want to hurt Max. More than anything, he's confused. He understands Max is going through a lot, and doesn't want to add anymore onto her plate, but he thought he could be there for her at least.

[coraniaid]

Anne is such a well constructed episode.  It’s not the best season opener (that’s Bargaining) and it’s not my favorite season opener (probably When She Was Bad), and if you’re feeling cynical you could argue it’s at least partly a pilot for the Angel spin-off series in disguise (since … it is?), but it’s just so well put together and full of so much foreshadowing and symbolism and references to previous episodes.  I really like it and I really liked rewatching it, almost more than I was expecting to.

The last time I watched it I remember being annoyed by the fact it didn’t focus entirely on Buffy in LA.  I thought the scenes set back in Sunnydale were a distraction from her story: I don’t care about Xander and Cordelia’s relationship and I don’t care about the Scoobies' attempt to stake one very obliging random vampire.   And yet, for some reason, this time around I felt a lot better disposed to this half of the episode.  I do still think it would have been interesting to have a whole episode away from Buffy’s friends, and that the Sunnydale plotline is a lot less intense than what’s going on in LA. But I think it’s a mistake to conclude the scenes in Sunnydale are a waste of time or don’t do something important.

The juxtaposition between a Buffyless Sunndale and a Buffy who’s stopped being Buffy felt a lot more deliberate this time around, whether that meant cutting directly to Buffy’s dream about Angel after Willow said she wished she knew where she was, or the way the big, noisy crowd at the first day of school hard cuts to Buffy sitting alone in silence in her tiny rented room, or Joyce asking Giles “and who exactly is she?” right before Lily comes back to the diner to ask Buffy for help.  And, having set up this pattern, the fact that we never once cut back to Sunnydale while Buffy and Lily are trapped in the hell dimension suddenly feels weirdly claustrophobic, and makes that final jump back to Joyce at home at the end work a lot better than it otherwise would. 

I also really really like Lily.  As Chanterelle in Lie To Me she wasn’t really given much to do, but Julia Lee is really good here as – not quite a proto-Faith, but another alternate Buffy who’s quietly hinted to have a pretty horrible backstory.  That pause after Buffy asks her “what do they call you at home?” speaks volumes, as does the way she assures Buffy she wouldn’t tell anyone about who she is or where to find her because “I know how it is when you’ve got to get lost”, or how quickly she resigns herself to believing they’re in hell later because she “always knew she belonged here”.

And, almost at the same time, she’s also a great comic foil (asking Buffy if she can “come with her” right after agreeing that they should split up, or coming back to apologize to her when she's meant to be getting away "in case we die").  I love that she gets to push Ken off the balcony mid-speech (in fact, I almost think the episode would be stronger if that really was the last we saw of Ken: I’m not sure his reappearance later just to be killed by Buffy herself really adds much).  And I love the argument about Rickie’s death (that isn’t really about Rickie) that she has with Buffy: “he didn’t do anything wrong, why would this happen to him?” versus “These things happen all the time. You can’t just close your eyes and hope they’re going to go away.”

I really like the fact that Lily (as Anne Steele) goes on to be a minor character on Angel, but I do wish we’d had some hint that Buffy really had stayed in touch with her after this episode the way she promises she will.  Once again I am imploring the Buffy writers, decades after the fact, to please let Buffy have a few more friends. 

(Oh, and, look: neither Buffy nor Lily get magically pregnant and die this episode!  The possibility doesn’t even come up!  Maybe this wasn’t a stealth Angel pilot after all...)

And I've not even touched on the wonderfully unsubtle foreshadowing of Ken’s repeated lines about kids “getting old fast here”, or the way this episode almost acts as a proto-Bargaining (with Willow very clearly taking charge of the group in Buffy’s absence, even taking on the Slayer role in the pre-credits scene), or Oz throwing his stake at a retreating vampire and then ruefully noting that “that just never works” as it bounces harmlessly wide, or just how much everyone in Sunnydale seems to miss Buffy in their own different ways, or Larry insisting this is the football team’s year if only they can “keep discipline, maintain focus and not have quite so many mysterious deaths”.  Or that last shot of Buffy back home, and how it’s deliberately framed from her mom's perspective rather than her own.

Honestly, I just think Season 3 is so good and I love it so much (I furiously remind myself, knowing that Dead Man’s Party is up next and will try its best to convince me I’m wrong…)

[imprettybitchin]

ofc i gotta ask about ST for that meme!

Give me a TV series and I’ll tell you: Status: Accepting! (throw anything at me, even if you don't know if I've seen it! <3) @rebelcliche

Favourite character: Tie between El and Will, I think. It’s so hard to choose! I relate to both of them a lot.

Funniest character: Argyle is an obvious one- I really hope we see more than just his funny side next season! But also Will is the funniest bitch alive. His sarcastic remarks give him depth and also are just - SO GOOD. El and Dustin are honorable mentions 

Best-looking character: Joyce Byers, hands down. I’ve had a crush on Winona Rider since I was a kid. No contest there. Karen Wheeler is in a close second. i don't have a type, obviously not

3 favourite ships: Elmax (no one is surprised), Lumax, and Jopper. Also Elumax (listen. I just want M to be happy!!!!!)

Least favourite character: I feel like Vecna and Brenner are too obvious/cop-out answers. Besides them, that brunet lackey at the Hawkins newspaper. He felt worse than his boss. (I hate most arrogant men on tv. They annoy me SO MUCH!!!)

Least favourite ship: I’m not a fan of the Jonathan/Nancy/Steve love triangle. I know it’s not a ship, but triangles drive me crazier than actual ships. 

Reason why I watch it: I love the characters! I prefer very character-driven shows, and I enjoy mysteries, so I keep coming back to see how my favorite kids are handling their next mystery (and the horror it brings). This season, I really appreciate Vecna’s FX makeup! And the reason why I'm in the ST RP space is because Ash ( @sensesdialed ) and Seashell ( @lcvedriven ) convinced me to after I saw s4 and wanted to add another muse to my list <3

Why I started watching it: My younger sister saw the first season right when it came out! I wasn’t sure if I would like it (I don’t like scary stuff) but watched it anyway. I ended up loving it, and the rest is history!

[staycatcher]

Hi!

It would be so much harder for me to pick my favorite Red Velvet album if I didn't have such a vivid image of a beach day while listening to Summer Magic, I can almost smell the sun screen. Another album listen to a lot is Reve Festival Finale! It's fun it's got slow songs, fun songs, zimzalabim. Eyes Locked, Hands Locked is so gorgeous. I think they're one of the best kpop groups, they make my list at least.

I liked that they didn't make Erica a throwaway character! You're right about that 🙂 I'm glad you have Robin! I don't relate to the any of the current characters in Stranger Things in any significant way but when I can relate to a character I get the warm and fuzzies 💖

What's your favorite specific Christmas decoration? Is it the tree, the lights, the star on top of the tree baubles, nutcrackers, etc? I really like the star for the top and tree skirts, the tree doesn't feel decorated until it has both

🔍

Yeah I also feel like Red Velvet deliver such a variety of concepts so it makes it even harder!! So like it’s hard to choose just between the Red concepts n then the Velvet concepts. They are just such great preformere as well!! Like live vocals and also their dances are so engaging to watch! Honestly they’re concept queens for sure~~

I feel like zimzalabim and umpah I feel like people either love or hate but I personally am on the love side!!🤪😵‍💫 thoughts on umpah?👀 I think Russian Roulette is such a fun mv! Peekaboo too. (I guess I just love the mvs where they try to kill each or kill a pizza man… let’s not look into that further)

Yeah I hope we get to see more of Lucas’s family, their parents seem to have such a cute relationship. I’m sure that they have the best relationship out of all their parents (not including joyce n hopper<3) I’m also very curious about Steve’s. Like what’s going on there? A rich, nice house with a pool. That’s basically all we know about Steve’s family. I need to know why Steve is the way that he is, why he’s such a freak (affectionate) <3 and thank you!! I’m happy to have her!!🥰🥰

I especially love the lights!🤩! Where I live lots of people do light show set ups you can drive thru n it’s so sick all the effects they do n it’s just so pretty!! I love to just string lights anywhere too, for decorating I’ve always loved putting garlands all around stair railings n then doing the lights on top!! It’s always the first thing I do n it immediately puts me in the Christmas spirit!! (My mom works 247 so usually it’s me who decorates for xmas at my moms house) But yeah definitely the tree is the mvp! I love to go to peoples houses n see how they decorate their tree. I feel like it’s so personal n unique how each tree can be decorated especially with custom made ornaments or special ones you get. Now that my niece is born we’re starting a new tradition where we bake n make from scratch ornaments from salt clay!! So fun!! Does your family have any specific traditions like this? Mine also has xmas pajamas traditions too. On xmas eve we all get matching pajamas it’s so corny n lame n I love it so much!! If you could start a new tradition to start with the next gen of the family what would you choose?

[alicent-hightowers-spouse]

Omg so I know season four was released a while ago but I recently found my reaction notes to the first six episodes. And they’re really funny so I want to share them with you guys lmao.

My notes on Stranger Things

Before I begin:

-Byler no matter what

-Ronance no matter what

-please don’t let any main characters die 😭

-but if someone has to go make it Hopper please

-or at least just please don’t kill Robin or Max or Dustin or Will

-I want an open confession that either Will is gay or that he has a crush on Mike or both

-although I think it would be best if Mike was the one who confessed feelings first

-I already know I’m not prepared for this at all

-Future Cass, how r u feeling?

Edit: I was correct I was not prepared for that at all 😀

Episode One:

-THERES A WARNING IN THE DESCRIPTION?!

-Why is the lab so gay? 💀

-AYYY IS BRENNER VECNA?

-Don’t know who this boy is that BRENNER is manipulating but he has OCD 💀✋🏼

-Love him for that 🤪

-LMAO HE BE TELLING BRENNER THAT HIS DRAWING SUCKS

-I LOVE TEN PLS DONT KILL HIM

-😀

WHAT

-WHAT

-EL?! YOUVE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO BESTIE

-OMG WAIT IS BRENNER NOT A COMPLETELY TERRIBLE PERSON JGJRJRJ

-Ayo just noticed that Mileven and Jancy are together in the intro so they can’t actually be a couple because none of the other names are 😁🥰

-DAMN EL IS WHIPPED

-AYO JOHNATHAN SMOKING POT?!

-SUZIEEEE LOML YSSSSSSSSSSSE

-DUSTIN STOP PEER PRESSURING UR GF 😭

-BOOBIES HAHA

-I too love BOOBIES 💅❤️

-MAX MAX MAX MAX I LOVE U YESSSS

-Robin’s a trumpet player WHAT?!

-THE DUFFERS DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT BAND 🙄

-ROBIN IS A QUEEN AND TRUMPET PLAYERS ARE REDDIT USERS

-Do research next time besties

-AHYY I automatically approve Vickie because she plays clarinet.

-she can do no wrong 💅

-LUCAS?

-I mean get it bestie

-slay

-don’t know who this dude is but can he just shut up for a second he’s so annoying 💀

-WHAT?! DOLL?!

-Why the heck is this girl annoying Will?

-Omg why are these kids making fun of a dead person

-But LIEK Will SLAYYYY

-OMG Max 😭

-Does Chrissy have an ED 😟

-OMG someone save Chrissy

-AYO VECNA LEAVE CHRISSY ALONE

-EDDIE SUS

-NOT TAMMY LMAO

-ERICA YESSS

-WHAT WHAT WHAT JFJRIWJDJJFJDJJD OMG I- CRAZY ENDING

But like also I loved Chrissy why did she have to die 😭

Episode Two:

-I’m not buying it 🙄✋🏼

-Hopper SHOUKD not be alive but whatever

-PLEASE MIKE STOP BEING AN ASSHOLE AND GIVE WILL A HUG 😭

-Joyce is such a girl boss

-But Murray is so smart

-THE GUN TO PUNCH TRANSITION WAS SO CLEAN

-Poor Will 😭

-POOR ELEVEN OMG 😟

-AYO NANCYS HAIRCLIP ITS THE SAME AS THE GIRL THAT DANVED WITH WILL AND ITS FRUITY

-AYO BYLER IS DEF HAPPENONG THERES NO WAY ITS NOT AFTER THAT LMOA

-DAMN EL, but like Angela low key deserved that anyways lmao

-Damn VECNA be killing someone every episode

-AYO DINNER WITH MURRAY DINNER WITH MURRAY I HOPE HE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT BYLER

-Please they literally just confirmed that Mike isn’t actually in love with El 💀

Episode Three:

-BAHHAHA WHY IS ELEVEN GETTING ARRESTED SO FUNNY TO ME PLEASE

-“experiment sexually”

-IF THIS ISNT A CONFIRMATION I-

-AYO ROBIN AND NANCY ROBIN AND NANCY OMG ITS HAPPENING AHHH

-This is some Saw shit right here 💀

-Lucas is an asshole I can’t believe that he’s ratting on Eddie 😒 and I loved him so much before this too 😞

-I TAKE IT BACK SLAY LUCAS SLAYYY

-NOOO MAXXX

Episode Four:

-BAHAHAH THE FROM

-NO BUT LIKE NAMCY AND ROBIN DO BE SLAYING

-ALSO SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE MAX SHE CANT DIE 😭

-NO BECAUSE I WANT TO SEE LUCAS’ REACTION SO BAD WHEN MAX TELLS HIM SHES DYING

-PLEASE I LOVE MAX

-YESSS ROBIN SLAYYY OMG SHE MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER THJRHT

-Ayo this season is violent and gory

-I hate Hopper but that was a very cool escape

-I swear that was so fruity OMG Byler is happening HDHRJ

-PLEASE NOT HOPPER NARUTO RUNNING

-AYO YURI IM ABOUT TO THROW HANDS HOW DARE HE KINDAP JOYCE AND MURRAY THE GIRLBOSS DUO 😡. when they wake up they’re gonna girlboss him so hard thta VECNA is gonna kill him by throwing the homophobic dog at him

-PLEASE WHY WAS THE BABY ON FIRE SO FUNNY TO ME

-MAX IS GETTING ME IN MY FEELS HELP

-STOP THE WHOLE TIME NDING SCENE I JUST- WOW FHJFJF

Episode Five:

-HELP THE WAY HE FLIPPED THE BED THRJRJR

-Death Note vibes 🤪💀

-No but also why does El dress like a Disney charactor 💀 so many layers

-HUHHHH MY JAW JUST DRIPPED

-nahhh THERES no way this crusty old guy is still kicking

-he probably died just from being knocked to the floor

-nah but I’m shitting bricks here what the duck is going on

-OMG OWENS I TRUSTED U WHYYYYY 😭

-Ok so this is a horrible situation for El BUT THE FACT THAT SHE LITERALLY DREW A PRIDE FLAG IS SNEDING ME 😭✋🏼

-This is making me feel like I’m on drugs for fr

-But this whole seaosn is giving me Hereditary vibes

-OMG WAIT A SECOND NO BECAUSE IM FREAKING OUT BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS GOING EXACTLY HOW I PREDICTED AND ITS SO REAL THEIR ACTUALKT GONNA MAKE BYLER CANON OMG IFHJRJEJEJ

-ALSO I LOVE ARGYLE OMG YRS

-YO HOPPER THATS KINDA FRUITY BESTIE

-NOT THIS EPISODE MAKINB ME FEEL BAD FOR HOPPER

-also now I ship him with Enzo. Oops.

-no but seriously poor Chrissy 😭

-but also not her Mom being a Karen 😒

-PLEASE JOYCE AND MURRAY R BOTH SUCH GIRLBOSSES I LOVE THEM BOTH ONG

-I swear to god if this mother trucker messes with Eddie I’m going to throw hands

-OMG STEVE AND NANCY? STRVE AND NANCY?

-OMG THAT ALSO COULD BE A HUGE BYLER HINT (the Sherlock thing)

-LUMAX SUPEEIORITY LUMAX SUPERIORITY

-Joyce and Murray rlly do be slaying though 💅

-No but like was cutting her hair rlly nessecary 😭✋🏼

Episode Six:

-“Steve takes one for the team.” THE DUCK DOES THAT MRAN?!

-Jason r u stupid or dumb? Did u not hear Eddie screaming?! And you can’t beat the devil lmao 😭✋🏼

-Damn these bitches think they’re Miss Trunchbull or something 🧍‍♀️

-AYO MIKE IS WEARING THR INVERSE OF THE SHIRT FROM THE NOT POSSIBLE SCENE OMG BYLER BYLER BYLER BYLER CONFIRMED??!!!????

-OMG YES SUZIE SLAYYY

-QUEEN BAHVIOR

-THE MORE I WATCH THE MORE GIRLBOSS MURRAY AND JOYC GET

-POWER DUO SLAYY

-EHY DO THE PPL TRUST THE FOOD SO QUICKLY THEY ABOUT TO DIE 💀

-religious ppl r so dumb omg 💀

[queenofthearchipelago]

Birthdaygate is my favorite theory and a bandwagon I was early to jump on so I'm just gonna info dump on you because I'm not exactly sure what it is you're fishing for

So Birthdaygate starts with the knowledge that when Eleven is getting bullied at the Rink-O-Mania, the camera is shown to be saying the day is March 22. That's the day Joyce said Will's birthday was in season 2. Curious, then, that at no point during the season does anyone mention it's Will's birthday.

The Duffer Brothers explained this with a casual "Oops! We forgot."

If true, disappointing. This show is well known for its astonishing attention to detail. Which is why, it can't be true, can it? There are a plethora of parallels in the season specifically to season 2. Small details reminding you of Will's possession, old conversations between characters, and more.

So, if it isn't true... why say that? Maybe it's because it's plot-relevant to season 5.

Consider all the facts with me. Let's pretend you're convinced as I am that the Duffer's didn't forget. What are the implications of that on the narrative? Mike, Eleven, Jonathan, and Joyce ALL forgot his birthday. True, Joyce was dealing with Hopper being alive. Eleven might simply have not known his birthday. But Mike and Jonathan? They really went all day not thinking about it? Mike didn't put together that he was flying out for spring break just in time to see Will for his birthday?

First of all, I call bullshit to that. But let's say that happened. They forgot.

So then why didn't Will mention it?

Let me backtrack a second, Mike and Eleven and Will are at the Rink. They're both treating Will like a third wheel, and making him feel miserable. Eleven gets bullied and runs off. Then, in the search for her, Mike and Will end up in an argument. It would have been so easy for Will to bring up his birthday.

"I've been a total third wheel all day. It's been miserable and it's literally my birthday today. So, sorry if I wasn't... wasn't smiling."

How hard would that have been? It would have hit harder with Mike, it would have more easily shown the audience how bad this all was. But he doesn't... it's almost like he forgot his own birthday.

When I explain this to people, this is usually where they get confused. Why or how did he forget his own birthday? Why would that make sense? Isn't this all just evidence that the Duffers really did forget because the plot makes no sense for the characters otherwise?

Well, here's why it makes sense:

Episode 1 of Stranger Things, Will Byers gets kidnapped by Vecna. We didn't know it was Vecna at the time, but now it's obvious who was behind everything the entire time. Vecna, from the very beginning, for unknown reasons, has wanted Will Byers.

By the time season 1 ends, we have Will back in the Rightside Up, however, he gets possessed in season 2. When he talks about this he says, and I'm paraphrasing on this one, that it's not that the monster wants to kill him, it's that the monster wants to kill everyone else.

But Will survives this too, because of the Shed scene we Byler shippers love so much. The three people who love Will Byers the most gather to remind him of his best moments, his favorite memories, times that made them love him more.

The first day of Kindergarten, making castle Byers, and his birthday.

And while they were telling him this, Will was actively plugged into the hive mind.

Vecna doesn't need you plugged into the hive mind to mess with your head. That's why Chrissy, Fred, Max, and Nancy all got Vecna'd anyway.

Imagine what he could do while actively connected to you like that. They were basically telling Vecna of Will's strongest memories, and those memories saved Will that day. What if, while they were all in Hawkins after season 2, Vecna changed his plan?

Maybe Vecna goes, okay, so I want that kid. But he's got these powerful light-filled memories that are making it hard for me to get to him. People who love him are getting in my way. They can't do that if they don't remember those strong memories.

And so, the theory goes that Vecna is systematically making the people who love Will the most, forget about him. Eleven, Jonathan, Joyce, and Mike. Even taking those memories from Will himself, even.

Episode 1 of this whole show was called the Vanishing of Will Byers. The Duffers said that season 5 would come full circle. Maybe that means Will Byers must vanish again, but this time not physically, but rather, essentially.

You can't save Will Byers, if you don't remember Will Byers. And Will can't save himself if he doesn't remember who he is either.

My personal theory is that the swingset with Mike is Will's strongest and happiest memory, but Mike already told Vecna about it, and if he did erase it from Will's mind, then he's been vulnerable for years. But this is where, for me, Will's disguised love confession comes in. He said, more or less, that Mike is his heart, and that Mike makes him feel better for being himself, and that gives him the courage to fight on. Therefore, his love for Mike and Mike's love for him IS his happy place. That's where Will's light is, and that isn't tied to any memory, it's just tied to Mike being alive. And I personally think that's how Will is gonna be saved in season 5, but this is a bit aside from the theory in general.

It's a better twist to the story if we think the Duffers forgot Will's birthday. Because imagine just believing that maybe Will's birthday was actually in May or something, but then season 5 comes out and maybe we watch Mike freak out as he realizes that he doesn't have memories of Will where they should be. Maybe Mike intellectually knows that he went to all of Will's birthday parties but he can't remember any of them. Why can't he remember them? Why can't he remember Will? How did they even meet?

We might even get some sort of "I don't know who he is but I know I love him."

I don't know how it'll tie into season 5, ultimately. But I'm so very convinced of this theory. The potential is massive. Because the payoff comes from the audience not paying attention to Will, when he was always the most important person there.

Extra knowledge is that the Duffers left us clues to think they were lying about forgetting Will's birthday too. Such as, Suzie knowing the exact moment of Dustin's birth even though his birthday was only mentioned outside of the show in a book; if you call the number on the pizza van you get the birthday song; there's a birthday party in the Rink to the left of where Mike, El, and Will have the milkshakes; and more.

I don't think it's a coincidence that season 4 also introduced the idea of missing memories through Eleven's storyline this season. OR that Will has gotten significantly less screen time since season 2.

Vecna's gonna vanish Will Byers, but this time, right under everyone's nose.

Can someone tell me more (or put a link in the comments) about birthdaygate and their favorite explanations for what happened? I’ve never really explored that theory, but I’m curious to hear different takes on why people (but not the Duffers) suspiciously forgot Will’s birthday in S4. Thanks!

[just-jordie-things]

Bite Me - Mike Wheeler

word count: 4052 warnings: swearing, unedited and poorly written summary: Mike has harbored a crush on (y/n) since the day they met.  And all it takes is a run-in with Billy Hargrove for him to lose his shit and let his feelings be known. (a/n): I just randomly felt the need to write for one of my best boys

___

(y/n) (y/l/n) was a sweet girl. If you asked anyone they’d tell you how kind she is, to everyone she meets.  From giving out homework answers when someone forgot, to sharing her lunch, she’d lend a hand no matter who you were.  She was a good person, and that’s why Mike was so in love with her.

He had been ever since she’d joined the Party, back in the fourth grade.  She’d been bringing in an extra juice box and snack for two weeks, just for Will, and the four boys agreed unanimously to offer her a spot in their group.  Mike can still remember the look on her face, the wide grin that showed off her recently lost tooth, and the way she’d giggled and agreed instantly.

They taught her D&D, she was invited into Will’s fort, and taken in by Joyce as one of her own.  She was truly one of them.

She didn’t look at him like everyone else did, it’s one of the first things he’d noticed about her, and he could see it every time their eyes met.  That annoyed expression that he was used to receiving -from peers, from his parents, even Nancy, even their friends- he’d grown so accustomed to it, until he’d met her.

“Fuck you! Fuck you!” Mike was shouting, about to lunge towards Steve, before (y/n) and Dustin grabbed his arms to yank him back.  “We can’t just stay here and-”

“That’s exactly what we’re doing!” Steve shouted back, shoving a scolding finger in the younger boy’s face.  “We’re staying here, so I can keep you dipshits safe!”

Steve rolled his eyes before spinning around to leave.  Nothing stressed him out like these kids.

“Come on, we’ll figure something else out” (y/n) said quietly, and tugged on Mike’s arm a little more.  

His glare softened when he turned to her.

She nods her head off to the side, prompting him to walk off with her.  He groaned, but he followed when she pulled him towards the living room.  Her hand didn’t let go of his wrist until they were away from everyone else.

“You know nothing you could say right now is gonna make me less pissed off-”

“I know,” (y/n) giggles before he can start ranting again.  “But maybe you can just take a breath and pretend to calm down?” She hums, and she laughs again.

Mike groans loudly, loud enough that everyone in the house could hear him, before he threw himself down onto the sofa.

(y/n) just shook her head, and sat next to him.

“Steve’s just trying to keep us safe, Mike,” She says, voice just as soft, but a bit more serious now.  “He’s not doing this to make you mad, you get that, right?”

He nods, but hangs his head in his hands.

“Are you… um… upset because El’s out there?” She asked unsurely.

She had a pretty good feeling that Mike had a crush on Eleven.  He was distraught when she left, and since she’d come back (a few hours ago) he’s been extremely on edge.  Hence the pouting right now.

“I guess,” He shrugged.  “I just- I want to just-”

“I know,” (y/n) murmurs again.  “I get it”

She admired Mike’s need to help, to get involved.  He was brave, if not a little reckless as well.  But there was something sweet about his extreme need to help.  Even though she was still convinced he was only wired this way because of his crush on Eleven.

Mike looked over to her, finding that loving look on her face.  His favorite expression -maybe even his favorite thing- and it somehow calmed him down a bit.  She smiled when he hadn’t started grumbling again.

“You good now?” She asked.

“Yeah,” He sighed.  “I’ll be fine”

She grinned, and poked his cheek affectionately before getting up from the couch.  

“I’m gonna get a glass of water and make sure Steve’s calmed down too,” She told him.  “Guess I’m the only sane one around here”

He laughed a bit as she left the room.

“Steve?” (y/n) called gently as she approached her older friend.

He turned to her, an unamused, and rather annoyed, look on his face.

“You alright?”

“I will be, once I’m in a retirement home and have restraining orders placed on all of you,” He answered, making the girl laugh.  “Your boyfriend calm down yet?” He asked, and her laughter stopped almost instantly.

Steve was chuckling now at how red her cheeks were turning.

“He’s not-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, heard it before, pretended to believe it before, whatever,” He said, and (y/n) busied herself with getting a drink.  “Now’s as good a time as any to just, you know, confess.  You’re stuck here anyways”

“No I… I can’t um…” She shakes her head, staring down at the bottle of water she’d grabbed from the fridge.  “I can’t do that” She finished weakly.

Steve had known (y/n) for a few years now.  He’d met her the first night he’d hung out with Nancy in the Wheeler home, she’d been there with Mike coming up with a new character for D&D.  His first impression, as it was for all of the kids, was that she was a geek.  And she was, but she was a lot of other things too, and what stood out the most to him was her kindness.  She didn’t exactly fit in with the Party like the boys seemed to.  Not only because she was a girl, but because she was… friendly.

Mike wasn’t cruel to Steve by any means, but he was a snarky little shit that sometimes made Steve just want to-

“Why the hell do you like that little asshole so much anyways?”

(y/n) was still blushing as she shrugged her shoulders.

He’d picked up on her little crush one of the first times she’d met him.  He called her out on it right away too, luckily only Dustin had heard, and he’d laughed it off, thinking it was a joke.

It wasn’t.

“He’s such a piece of shit,” Steve said through a laugh, earning a pointed glare from (y/n).  “Obviously he doesn’t treat you the same way he treats, well, everyone else”

“No, he doesn’t,” (y/n) sighed lovingly.  

Her eyes glanced out to the living room, where Mike and Lucas were heatedly, and quietly, arguing.  She rolled her eyes at the sight, not that it surprised her.

“He’s very, um-”

“Sweet on you?” Steve supplied, earning another look, which quickly turned into a nervous smile.  “Yeah, that’s how I’d put it.  I don’t know why you’re being such a baby about it.  He obviously has a little crush on you too,” Steve said, wagging his finger around in her face.  “Otherwise he wouldn’t be such a little gentleman towards you”

(y/n) didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t have to for Steve to know how she felt.  He’d always known.  She didn’t do a great job at hiding it, but her friends, and Mike for that matter, were oblivious.

They were interrupted by a bright light shining in through the windows, bright enough that she shielded her eyes as she wandered out to the large picture window.

“Who is that?” She asked, as everyone gathered around to figure out who could show up at the Byers’ house right now.

Their question was quickly answered.

“Sinclair!”

The angry, dangerous voice sent a shiver all the way down (y/n’s) spine, before an uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.  Billy Hargrove was bad news, but him being here, right now, was even worse.

“Stay inside” Steve ordered, shoving the kids down underneath the window.

“I know you’re in there!” Billy screamed again from outside.

“Stay inside” Steve repeated, before walking out of the house.

“What the fuck does he think he’s gonna do?” Lucas asked, as everyone peeked their heads up just enough so they could see what was going on outside.

“He’s gonna fight him” Dustin said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“He’ll lose,” Max mumbled.  All eyes turned to her, but her gaze was trained on her brother, afraid.  “He’ll kill him”

“He’ll be okay,” (y/n) whispered to her new friend.  “Steve’s a tough guy, and can throw a punch-”

“I’m not so sure he can take one, though” Max said.

(y/n) frowned, and set a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“We’ll be alright” She assured, even though she wasn’t certain what was going to happen.

Steve was now walking down to Billy, who was still yelling, but they couldn’t make out what exactly.

“What’s he saying?” Mike hissed, only to get shushed by Dustin, thus starting a ‘shh!’ war.

(y/n) only let it go on until Billy shoved Steve back by his shoulders.

“Boys!” She scolded, sitting up a little straighter as the fight outside escalated.

Just as she’d sat up, Mike grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her back down.

“You want to get seen and murdered?” He whisper screamed.  She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her sweet smile.  His brow furrowed at her smile, but he wasn’t quick enough to say anything about it, as everyone’s attention was pulled back to the scene outside.

Billy had shoved Steve to the ground, and was racing up to the house now.  He locked eyes with the Party, who all quickly leaned down as low to the floor as they could get.

“Lucas, run!” Max screamed, shoving the boy to haul ass before her brother could storm in and get his hands on him.

When the door swung open so hard it slammed against the wall, Mike grabbed (y/n) by both arms and just about ripped them out of their sockets as he pulled her upwards with him to get her as far fucking away from Billy as possible.

“We have to help Lucas!” She tried telling him while he dragged her off to the other side of the house.  “Mike!” She shoved his hands off of her, and gave him a pleading look.  “This isn’t like you, come on, he needs our-”

“Where are you, Sinclair!? Come on out!”

She ran away from Mike before he could convince her to hide.

Finding Lucas shoved up against the wall, something in her clicked.  Billy’s significantly larger framed towered over the boy, who was clearly afraid, while Billy snarled nasty things right in his face.

“Why don’t you just fuck off?” She yelled at him, before thinking through the consequences of her actions.

Dustin and Mike stared at her in shock.  She didn’t curse much, so to hear the foul word come out in her voice was… pretty out of character.

Just as Billy whirled around, likely about to send one knockout punch to her face, Lucas took his moment of distraction to knee him right between the legs.  (y/n) squealed, both hands covering her mouth in surprise.

It was then that she took Mike’s advice to run back into the kitchen, and duck down behind the cabinets so she was out of sight.  

“You’re fucking dead!” Billy howled in pain, and while every bone in (y/n’s) body told her to cover her ears, close her eyes, and stay hidden, she peeked around the corner anyways.

“No,” A different voice, a calm voice, a familiar voice, spoke up.

(y/n) had never been so relieved to see Steve in her whole life.

“You are” He finished, and took a strong swing of his fist against Billy’s jaw.

The crack that resonated made her wince, and she shut her eyes only for a moment as illy toppled backwards.  He didn’t fall, and instead swung back at Steve, starting a very violent fistfight in the Byers’ kitchen.

“Come on, you gotta move” A pair of arms encircled her torso and helped her up from the ground.  

Mike’s hands were much more gentle with her now than they had been a few minutes ago, and this time she let him bring her out to the living room, away from the fight.

Her eyes were wide with fear as she watched Billy throw Steve around the kitchen effortlessly.  It was terrifying, she felt as though she was about to see him get killed.

When he landed a rather harsh punch, right under Steve’s chin, she cried out for him.

Steve crumbled to the ground, definitely knocked unconscious.  He looked dead, though, and as the thought crossed her mind, she felt it again.  The snap.  Like an instinct buried deep was just let loose.

“You motherfucking piece of shit!” She screamed in a way that Mike, or any of them, had ever heard before, and was charging at Billy in an instant.

It was a hasty decision, grabbing the beautiful vase of flowers off of Joyce Byers’ table and throwing it full force at the back of Billy’s head.

While his head was soaked, and definitely bleeding from the shards of glass, he still managed to stay standing, and was fuming with anger as he glared down at (y/n).

“You made a big mistake little girl” He growled, and began to stalk towards her in a threatening manner.

“Bite me” She snarled back at him, followed by the rash decision to spit on him.

“(y/n) what the hell are you-!?”

Mike’s warning was cut off when Billy reached her, and she kicked him with all the force she could right in the gut.  He grunted, but it hardly slowed him down.  All she could see was red as she kicked him again, and began to throw her fists against his chest.

She didn’t have an ‘oh fuck’ moment until he grabbed her wrists in his large hands, and kept his hold so firm that tears welled in her eyes from the pressure.

“I’m gonna fucing kill you, little girl” He snarled, teeth bared right in her face.

Oh, fuck.

She tried to yank her body backwards, out of his grip, but he was faster, and stronger, and bigger than her.  This resulted in her being thrown, no, slammed into the nearest wall.  She cried at the crack of her skull against it, but had no time to react as Billy’s fist was all she could see, before it struck her and knocked her out instantaneously.

She fell like a limp, broken thing, and even when Mike grabbed her and shook her by her shoulders, she remained unconscious.  It didn’t matter that Billy was still looking for blood, he pulled her into his lap and held her close against his chest.  He was living a delusion thinking he could protect either of them if Billy came back for more, but he didn’t care.  He was gonna keep her safe now.

Max had plunged the syringe into her brother’s neck, and was threatening him with Steve’s bat, but Mike hardly paid them any attention.

“(y/n), wake up, come on,” His voice was barely a mumble, and he hated to admit it but his throat was growing hot and tight with his tears choking him up.  “C-come on open your eyes” He stuttered.

He pushed her hair out of her face so that it wouldn’t get sticky from the blood running out of her nose.  He wiped away the red substance with his sleeve, not bothered by it at all.

“We’re going!” Lucas called, and rushed over to Mike to help him carry her.  “Dustin Will and Max are getting Steve in the back.  I’ll help you with her”

Mike didn’t have time to question anything Lucas had just said, and hastily went along with the plan.  They looped (y/n’s) arms over both of their shoulders, and made their way out to Billy’s car. ___

Everything.

Hurt.

It was the first thing that (y/n) was aware of when she came to.  Her legs, her arms, her torso, her head-

Oh shit my head hurts.

She groaned softly, reaching a shaky hand up to prod around her eye.  She wasn’t exactly sure why, but it was definitely bruised.  The rest of her body had to have been bruised too.

She suddenly shot upward as the car went over a bump, and that’s when she realized she was even in a car.  Why was she in a car…?

Her head rolled against the seat, and she was met with someone’s shoulder against her cheek.  She winced at the pressure, probably because her cheek was bruised and bleeding.

“(y/n)?” A gentle, but distant voice called.  It sounded kind of hazy, like the person talking was miles away, and not right next to her.  “Hey, can you hear me?”

Her eyes met Mike’s round and worried brown ones, and a lazy smile tugged on the edges of her lips.  Even though his brow was furrowed, and there was a deep frown on his lips.

“What happened?” She asked, voice scratchy and quiet.

“What happened?” Mike repeated, much louder than he intended.  She flinched, and while an apologetic look swept over his face, he didn’t apologize.  “(y/n), you attacked Billy Hargrove” He told her in a grave tone.

“I did?” She asked proudly, her smile returning.

“No- don’t- jesus (y/n) what the hell are you on?” He asked.  “He almost killed you, I mean, look at you!”

“Can you please stop yelling dipshit?” Max called from the front.  “I’m trying to focus here!”

(y/n’s) eyes widened, and it dawned on her that Max was the one driving.  But just as she opened her mouth to protest being in the car right now, Mike continued on with his angry little rant.

“I mean, seriously, what the hell, (y/n/n)? Did you think you were gonna win? Did you really think that you were gonna take him down?”

Her brow crinkled and her eyes welled with tears, both from all the pain and his cruel words.

“Do you even realize that he could’ve killed you? Huh? I mean, I really thought he did for a second.  Do you even care?”

“What’s your problem right now?” The girl whimpered

“You are! You’re my problem,” He said, not thinking through the fact that she was crying right now.  “That was really stupid (y/n), really reckless”

“Oh, because you care so much about playing it safe,” She scoffed.

It was getting awkward for the others in the car, minus Steve, who was still knocked out.

“All you wanted to do tonight was to get out there- well- well here we are, Mike!” She shouted.  It hurt her head to yell, and Max was yelling again too, but she drowned it out.  “Hope you’re freakin’ happy” She mumbled, holding her hands against the side of her head.

Mike sighed, and pulled her hands away from her face, staring at her seriously.

“(y/n)...” He said softly.  “I’m sorry it’s just…” He let out one more heavy breath to prepare himself before diving in.  “Look at yourself (y/n), you’re hurt and there’s- there’s nothing I can do about it”

(y/n’s) brow furrowed as she stared back at him.

“What do you mean?” She mumbled weakly.

“I mean I- you… I have to… ugh” He groaned, clearly frustrated by his inability to form a coherent thought.

“You have to… what?” She hummed, face leaning around his shoulder tiredly.  

They were close enough that their whispers were only heard by them.  And somehow, it felt like they were the only people in the car.

“Mike?” She whispered when he hadn’t said anything yet.

His eyes flickered over her battered face.  The black eye, her split lip, her bruised and cut cheek, his heart broke looking at how much pain she must be in right now.  He couldn’t believe he let this happen.

“...protect you” He answered lamely.

“Protect me?” She repeats, soft, and loving.  “From what?”

“Apparently everything from interdimensional monsters to senior year bullies” He said, making her laugh softly.

“You don’t have to do that,” She said with a small shake of her head.  “I’m alright, I will be anyways.  You don’t have to worry so much about me-”

“See I do though- you- you make it impossible not to worry.  I’m just always- I’m a mess, okay?”

She giggled again, and rose a brow.

“I’m not following…you sound kinda crazy Mike-”

“I love you, okay?” He told her.

She choked.

“And I just need you to not get yourself hurt… okay?”

She’d never heard him speak so quietly, so nervously.

“You- you’re- um-”

“No more fighting people- and-and things- bigger than you, deal?”

His hands cupped around her face, thumb stroking over the bruise on her cheekbone in a comforting sort of way.  She swore she was melting into his touch, for a moment she forgot all about the agony her body was in.

She didn’t think twice about leaning off his shoulder so she could reach up and plant her lips against his.  It’s a gentle kiss, because her lips are sore and she was a bit nervous.  

Mike’s eyes widened, and he was sure this wasn’t real.  No, it couldn’t be real, there was no way (y/n) was kissing him.  Maybe he was the one that got knocked out? And this is all some kind of twisted nightmare-dream?

But it was real, she was kissing him.  And it was… wow it was great.

She’d almost pulled away, but he pulled her right back in, and shut his eyes to kiss her properly this time.

If he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to just take her and pour every ounce of love he had for her into this kiss, but it would probably only hurt her more.

They were cut off by a low whistle, and (y/n) turned to see Steve, who had apparently been sat next to her this whole time, and Dustin, who was sat on his other side, both giving the pair very different looks.

Despite his face looking just as messed up as hers, Steve pulled a sly grin, and winked.

Dustin, however, looked like he might vomit.

“What.  The.  Fuck!?” His voice cracked when he screamed, making both (y/n) and Mike jump a bit in their seat.  “You guys have been- been- hooking up this whole time!?”

“What? No!” (y/n) argued back, shaking her head and trying to kill the idea in Dustin’s head before it escalated, but it seemed to be too late for that.  

“You have! You’ve been frenching!”

“Oh my god,” Mike rolled his eyes.  “Dustin, shut up”

“Can we save this argument for later, fellas?” Max hollered from the front.  “I don’t think that this is the most important thing going on-”

“W-wait a- wait a minute- wait a-!” Steve’s eyes widened as he started to panic.  “No! No way! Stop the car right now! Who let her drive-!?”

His screaming was abruptly cut off by the car swerving, causing everyone to scream now.

“Drive on the right side of the road! Jesus Christ we’re all gonna die!”

(y/n) wrapped both arms around Mike, one behind his neck and the other around his torso, keeping her secure.  In case this car were to crash, her seatbelt, and Mike, would anchor her in place.  Well, she hoped it would anyways.

He reacted quickly, embracing her tightly.

“I’ve been thinking I would get killed by a demogorgon,” She mumbled to him.  “Guess it’ll just be a plain old car crash that takes me out”  

He chuckled, but shook his head at her.

“No one’s dying, we had a deal”

She glanced up at him, a sweet smile on her lips.  And she waited for him to look back down at her to say anything.

“I love you too” She hummed, just soft enough that Dustin (luckily) couldn’t hear.

The smile that grew on Mike’s face was brighter than she’d ever seen from him before.  (y/n) was so relieved that her feelings were returned, that she felt she could go back to sleep, if she wasn’t getting nervous all over again about what was going to happen.

All they had to do now was to kill a monster and save their friends.

___

xoxo ~ jordie