#it's good to write stuff
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if it's good enough for you, then it deserves to be made. don't let anyone else decide if your story is worth it or not.
#this more for myself than anything#because i get so bogged down on if my story is good enough for other people and if others would like it#writeblr#creative writing#writers of tumblr#writerscommunity#writers#writer stuff#book tropes#novel writing#writing#writers on tumblr#bookblr#authors#book writing#writer#publishing#writing stuff#on writing#ao3 writer#female writers#writers and poets#writing life#writing memes
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kitty thoughts :..
I really can't understand some of the social stuff .. when u do something, sometimes I'm not sure what it supposed to mean ..
and then I overthink, trying to understand why you do some of the stuff you do, or something u did .. I don't understand hidden meanings behind some social acts ..
so, a little reassurance can go a long way you know, although I will try to understand why u do the things u do .. but still, at times .. I get so anxious trying to understand ..
that's why I hope u can explain stuff to me, in simple and clear words, and if I need to do something, because most of the time, I don't know what I'm supposed to do, and either way, I might not be able to stop the overthinking, and the anxiety that can comes with it, because I don't understand if u want me to do something or not about it ..
and many says they won't leave, but they end up doing that, and it does make me sad, when I can't reach them anymore ..
but I will wish u well on your journey, there's only so much I can do ..
and if something is meant to be or not, I know I can't do much about it ..
those who want to stay will continue to try, those who aren't will just fade away like shadows under the sunlight ..
and I know I'm not that good when it comes to understanding some social behaviours, which I know, with relationships, there's lots of these hidden stuff that I'm supposed to get and know what to do about it .. but sadly, my brain can't get the clues all the time ..
and there's times when I want to talk, but I feel so nervous and overwhelmed to try, I can't help it .. it happens ..
so, I hope u can keep that in mind when u talk to me .. I don't understand what r u trying to do or how it supposed to be ..
I appreciate being clear about stuff, and I try to do the same .. I can only do my best you know, I can't do more than that, especially if I don't get that much help in return, to understand what's going on ..
just some little thoughts, I woke up not feeling so well, but it's time to get up, do what I'm supposed to do ..
I wish u well, wherever and whenever ..
take care, and choose to be kind, and do something different, a change, a good one ..
you don't have to be like the others, be you, express yourself .. be kind .. to whoever ..
the world needs that .. it does make a difference ..
choose to make a positive difference, in these trying times .. choose to bring something good to the world .. a bit of softness, kindness, gentleness, to listen, to accept those who r different than u .. keep your heart open .. keep your understanding open ..
take care .. 🤍
this might be too deep for a blog like this, but I want to share my thoughts about different stuff .. feel free to read it or not ..
#woke up overthinking#it's good to write stuff#I think I want to explain stuff I go through specially with social stuff#so u can have a better idea#it might be all over the place because I can't focus that well right now#it might not fit this kind of blogs but I need to write about it here#keeping stuff clear#anyway have a good day !#kitty says stuff
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my dad saw ao3 open on my computer and asked if that was like my writing club and just so you know that's what fanfic writers are now, we're all in the same writing club where we all write about the same media and show each other our little stories and that's kind of cool actually
#we should start a writing club#like a legit group where we write whatever and give it to each other to talk about and stuff#idk i wouldn't be good at running it but I would like if someone was obligated to tell me if I wrote good or not lol#ao3#writeblr
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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.
#you will make superficial edits that do not gell well with the rest of your work#and won't actually capture what you thought was so good about that story#close the doc. sit down. think about it for a while. inspiration is fine. getting a 'eureka' moment from another story is fine#but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP#you will never write good stuff by trying to make it look less like you wrote it#writing#writing advice#guess who just had to go into her google doc history and undo a bunch of panic-induced edits#because she read a fic about the same characters she's writing for?#meeee. they aged badly within just a few hours of hindsight. learn from my mistakes#self-hatred is not a good motivation for creation#fic writing
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i hate to say it because i'm neurodivergent and a chronic-pain-haver but like... sometimes stuff is going to be hard and that's okay.
it's okay if you don't understand something the first few times it's explained to you. it's okay if you have to google every word in a sentence. it's okay if you need to spend a few hours learning the context behind a complicated situation. it's okay if you need to read something, think about it, and then come back to re-read it.
i get it. giving up is easier, and we are all broken down and also broke as hell. nobody has the time, nobody has the fucking energy. that is how they win, though. that is why you feel this way. it is so much easier, and that is why you must resist the impetus to shut down. fight through the desire you've been taught to "tl;dr".
embrace when a book is confusing for you. accept not all media will be transparent and glittery and in the genre you love. question why you need everything to be lily-white and soft. i get it. i also sometimes choose the escapism, the fantasy-romance. there's no shame in that. but every day i still try to make myself think about something, to actually process and challenge myself. it is hard, often, because of my neurodivergence. but i fight that urge, because i think it's fucking important.
especially right now. the more they convince you not to think, the easier it will be to feed you misinformation. the more we accept a message without criticism, the more power they will have over that message. the more you choose convenience, the more they will make propaganda convenient to you.
#personal#this also applies to ai art and stuff. like#artists and crafters and non-ai users took the time space and energy to learn things#bc we are actually LEARNING them. and it takes actual SKILL.#i know the skill is long to learn and often annoying. i still get frustrated about my art bc it's not good#but i do it myself. bc i respect that it IS a skill.#ai writing a book for you is not YOU learning how to write a book. and it took me a lifetime to write a book. i get it.#ai drones running a marathon don't run the marathon for u#there are things i cannot due to my disability. lol marathons being 1. there are things u can't do either#this is about stretching yourself in the ways that are healthy and good for you.#ai learning for u in ur classes is NOT healthy. u are not learning.#''but otherwise i won't pass''#first of all that's a self-defeating prophecy. and many of us who thought we wouldn't pass DID pass#and secondly. CHALLENGE urself. ur paying for college anyway. don't pay just to let AI learn for u.
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ALPHA KIDS: Draw your best friends!
DIRK: I'd say I'm better at one on one character interaction work of the more intimate variety, but I think this piece came together nicely. DIRK: Fun for the whole family style wholesomeness, any motherfucker in the radius of a screen displaying this image will instantly get hit with a sore case of heartburn and their tear ducts will clock in overtime at the weeping factory.
ROXY: im so proud of these i think these are my best designs yet :3 but omg dirk callie and jake were SOOO peculiar about their damn designs over my shoulder. jake wanted me to clarify that even in pink pen form his little guy is BLUE. so there. sigh this is the one occasion they could take notes from janey.. JUST LET LE ARTIST WORK!
JANE: Boy! I don't draw often but I always was fond of calligraphy growing up. I was kind of inspired by all of the other's works, but especially Calliope's swirls she puts in her art. It's very fun to add!
JAKE: Im not quite the best with posing, but i find the head very fun to study! Especially skulls.. so good ole calliope makes for the perfect muse! (hehe)
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CALLIOPE: i realized i hadn't ever made a piece with Us in the same place at once. u_u CALLIOPE: bUt since it's reality now here's all of Us together, United at last! ^u^
==->
#homestuck#alpha kids#dirk strider#jake english#calliope#jane crocker#roxy lalonde#dirkjake#callieroxy#my art#zan0tix#This was so fun tho Im dipping my toes into homestuck writing.. be prepared.. projects are in the works people#I have detailed explanations and references for jane and jakes styles and why they look that way but basically.#For jane i referenced her handwriting and june and jades art styles#and jake loves comics! and he very quietly observant (brain ghost dirk) without knowing it and he had bold fast hand writing so i think-#hed be a good sketcher#I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE IN THE 2010S MAN. I SHOULDVE BEEN MAKING STUFF LIKE THIS BACK THEN. whatever#making up for it now </3
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seb about to learn every language there is 📚📚
#from chap 22 of my fic#after MC is impressed by ominis' parseltongue in the scriptorium and seb gets all jelly i knew i had to do the same with amit LMAO#except in my fic once they actually HEAR amit speak gobbledegook sebs like ok... not jealous anymore...im good BAHAH#but then he gets jealous again once amit can translate all the goblin stuff BAHA need to learn a second language to impress clora NOW#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#ominis gaunt#amit thakkar#clora clemons#headcanon this is why theres greek and latin writing or whatever it was in the undercroft LMAOOO imagine#after the scriptorium quest BAHA omg#plot twist it wasnt for anne it was to impress mc LOOK I KNWO ANOTHER LANGUAGE TOO!!!
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Listen to me and listen close. You simply cannot make me hate a dragon age game. I loved DA 2 when they reused the same maps over and over and drowned us in random encounters. I loved Inquisition when we spent 20 hours in the hinterlands. I loved Veilguard every time Rook put his dumb hands on his stupid hips. I love these games, I would like more, and simply cannot board the hate train. I totally get why people are upset, but the game was fun, it made me cry, and I’m going to play it 12 more times just like I did the other three.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#da4#dragonage#plus I’m writing fanfic and drawing fanart again#i haven’t made time for that stuff in 6 years#feels good to love something this much
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ive been working on a PNF alice in wonderland AU. Some of my fav designs that ive done for it
#sami's art#phineas and ferb#isabella garcia shapiro#phineas flynn#ferb fletcher#candace flynn#holly fireside girl#adyson sweetwater#alice in wonderland#If youre interested in the other casting choices:#Perry's the dormouse#doof's the caterpillar#Baljeet is the white rabbit#Jeremy is the king of hearts Obviously#and Buford is the cheshire cat (on brand)#im trying my bestest to write stuff for it so you wont see any like detailed art of this for a WHILE#but i promise on my little heart and soul it will be so so good#dwampyverse
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mild spoilers for chapter six for my series again &. again, but i really feel the need to ramble about this, and i'd love to hear anybody's opinion on this hehe.
as i write outline chapter six (and write for chapter five), i'd like to say i couldn't wait to write the reader's face reveal in bruce's perspective. and it's not just angst, for me, this plays a very pivotal turn for the series— because bruce will spiral to insanity.
to never once see a single portrait of your second youngest child, whose presence has long been erased from the manor, not a single image, nor trace of you is sickening to the heart, even if he scours through the internet day and night for a single memoir of you, nothing— but to find your portrait in alfred's living quarters and seeing you for the first time in forever? graduating a milestone no less?
god, he's in for a ride just analyzing every aspect of your physical appearance.
the color of your eyes, the shape of your nose, the quip of your mouth, the fat in your cheeks; even the length of your lashes! god, does he brand it into the deepest parts of his mind to never forget you anymore. his pearl, his treasure.
the longer he stares, the more he notices and gazes even more, obsessive as he stands lonesome in the room with every bone in his body locking up, his eyes unable to look away from the portrait that showcases his baby child.
and there, there it is that he concludes a detail so small it's unrecognizable for someone who's seen it for his entire life; yet it's all the same triggered deranged emotions deep within him.
— you don't just share him and your mother's traits, no, your smile is also reminiscent of his mother's.
martha wayne, who'd died in his arms, laying in a pool of her blood with a bullet grazed deep inside her body. his loving mother, who caressed his face whenever he'd cry from his nightmares, who'd shown him motherly love that until now he still craves.
she died with her pearl necklace that once decorated her porcelain neck spilling to the ground and stained with crimson.
you wore pearl earrings on your graduation.
the thought alone is enough for him to just snap.
this? this is the child that he's been neglecting far too long? who shares the same, loving expression of his mother's? his child? not even a single memory could be conjured with you but fantasies now do. if your happiest moments were within the picture frame that he holds with shivering fingers at present; could your smile be any wider if you'd be with him?
how come he never once noticed? why is bruce always destined to fail left and right? why, just why is he brimming with jealousy for all the people who must've seen your smile before him, and contempt for himself that he was never there to pick you up from the police station beforehand?
bruce isn't a heckler for favoritism, but a darker part of him is motivated to take you away from wherever you are, and to never let anybody else witness his beautiful, little treasure.
he's gotham's knight, first and foremost. but he's a father, too, with goals to protect his children just like a father should.
and the things he'd do for you, his child, now? anything.
if it means he has to see that smile, then he'll turn the world upside-down.
he has to protect your smile.
#🧁... yael's misc.#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere dc comics#yandere batfam#yandere batman#yandere bruce wayne#yandere#platonic yandere#male yandere#yandere x male reader#yandere x you#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x gn reader#soft yandere#ngl my stuff has felt like it's been flopping lately#that i've been getting demotivated again#i love writing but i sometimes just can't!!! am i even doing good enough#i feel like such a failure every time i write something and it doesn't go in the direction i want it to#like i want to write but i might just end up being in another hiatus the longer i suffer through imposter syndrome#ignore this short rant i love angst GRAHH !! 🔥🔥🔥
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@somegrumpynerd :3c Cross getting his first toy ever
I think it's the kind of thing he brings everywhere cuz it's his comfort item.. and he's never had a comfort item before
#This might be very ooc cause i'm just not good at writing characters??#I'm not the best at knowing how characters would act T T#Killer is the one that gave it to him#but really it's Nightmare who had it made#it's a wolf cause of course it is#Idk what he'd name it#probably like thunder or smth#Charlie you can choose the name if you'd like#this took so long bc it was basically four whole drawings lmao#undertale#my art#undertale au#sans au#utmv#pigeon's art stuff#cross sans#cross!sans#xtale cross#pigeon's digital stuff
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thinking about how the extra area added on to a pacifist run of undertale, the true lab, is about alphys's past mistakes. how it ends with the story reaffirming that, despite the pain she's caused, the thing that matters is that she has now made the choice to do the right thing. she's still worthy of her friends' love.
thinking about how undertale doesn't expect the player to get a pacifist ending for the first time. how it's more likely than not that the player will kill toriel the first time they battle her, how lots of players don't initially figure out how to end undyne's fight without killing her, etc. what it expects — not even expects, really, but hopes — is that the player, if they care enough, will use their canonically acknowledged power over time to make up for those mistakes.
no matter how many neutral runs a player has done before committing to the pacifist run, the thing that matters to the characters, to the story, is that you've chosen, now, to do the right thing.
compared to alphys, the player honestly gets off lightly, in that you're the only one (other than flowey) who really remembers any harm you might have caused. and any direct guilting the game could have done about it is long past at this point. instead, as undertale often does, it makes its point via parallels: alphys caused harm, and she knows it. she has committed to being better. in doing so, she has unlocked for herself a better ending to her story. and she deserves it. she's forgiven.
those structural narrative parallels are all over undertale, if you know where to look. and that's one of the things that makes it so fuckin' good.
#undertale#alphys#true lab#this inspired by a mutual's alphys posting#and a discord convo i had a couple weeks back about ut's stance on ''punishing'' the player vs the monsters for their actions#and thoughts i've had generally post a certain fangame with a color in its name about just how well ut is structured as a narrative#everyone rightfully praises toby fox's character writing but stuff like this i think flies under the radar a bit by comparison#and it deserves to be appreciated#there's obvious Lore reasons why the true lab is only visited in a pacifist run (what's revealed about chara and flowey)#but this is the other half of it: the message of alphys's story hits hardest on a paci route post neutral runs#toby fox is a good writer more often than not
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DPxDC Multiverse Police
I've seen the idea that GIW is actually SCP foundation somewhere, and lately, I've been thinking a lot about Fenton Happy Ending, so I bring you this. Behold, GIW/SCP, Team Phantom, and Fentons are working all together, and the whole wide multiverse fears them.
So, a giant green Lazarus Pit that looks more like a vortex than an actual Pit randomly opens in, say, Ohio. Because I heard a lot of weird shit happens in Ohio. The world is worried, JL gets sent there, but they are not exactly sure of what to do with it. Nothing comes out of it, and, well, no one is volunteering to just jump inside it - Batman made everyone read his files on Lazarus Waters, and they are reasonably wary.
But then a thing appears literally out of thin air on top of it. It looks like a spaceship, kind of, but more sci-fi than what real spaceships look like. And before anyone says anything, a large green - Lazarus green - dome appears, effectively covering both the ship and the Pit and cutting the heroes off.
The heroes are Confused (tm). And worried. And no one has an idea of what the fuck is going on, for all they know it could be some kind of yet another alien invasion.
Then, two figures on the hoverboards - one read and one teal - come out of the ship, flying over the Pit. They are followed by drones, and they all look like they are... scanning the Pit? A few more people, wearing black visors and shiny white suits that look like they are packed with all kinds of tech, slide down on the ropes straight inside the Pit. It sure looks like they are very familiar with it and have a good idea of what they are doing, working as a team.
One of the figures on the hoverboard, the one in a teal suit, notices the heroes on the other side of the green dome. She - because both of them look feminine enough - slows down and flies down to the ground, landing in front of Superman and taking off her helmet. It reveals a rather young, no older than twenty years old girl with fiery red hair tied in a bun, with eyes the same color as her suit. She smiles at them.
"Hi, you must be the Justice League?" She asks politely, and as Superman gives her a nod just out of surprise at her friendly attitude, she touches her ear, "Mom, this is DC sector universe. Pretty sure it's not a dimension we've been before, though." She turns back to Superman, "You don't recognize any of this, do you?"
Batman intervenes before Supes has the time to answer, "Who are you?"
The girl nods and taps her ear again, "Yeah, they definitely don't know us. So mark it as either an unfamiliar dimension or an unfamiliar timeline." Then she turns to Batman and smiles.
"You can call us interdimensional police. And since all the Batmans we ever encountered never believed us, I'm going to send you a copy of the files your other versions complied all together, so you can read and add more if you feel like it."
She touches her wrist computer, and, a few moments later, Batman's comm comes online with Oracle's voice:
"B, I'm getting a shit ton of files on... Multiverse Law Enforcement?.. out of nowhere. What's going on?"
Now, JL is baffled. Some of them - Flashes and Bats, for example - knew there was a whole wide multiverse going on, but to learn the multiverse has police? That's new.
Meanwhile, the redhead continues:
"The green thing behind me is a natural portal to the Infinite Realms, the dimension between dimensions. Which is really not what is supposed to be happening, so we are in the process of fixing it. It will take from ten minutes to a few hours, depending on what's on the other side, but the portal will be gone soon, and then I'll have to ask you some questions."
"Questions about what?" Asks Flash, and the girl waves her hand in the air.
"Oh, well, about the portals? If one so big is opening up, it means a few smaller ones had to exist in this dimension already. Our tech is not picking them up if they are smaller than a certain size, but you must have seen them before. I believe in the DC sector, you call them Lazarus Pits? We can take care of them later, too."
The second hoverboarder flies closer to them and revs her engine.
"Jazz, talk to them later, Tucker and Agents are done. Fentons are about to get Dannies down, so you need to either come up or leave the shield."
The girl - Jazz - looks surprised.
"Dan, too?"
"Yeah, it's the Toothy Jungle on the other side. They wanted to ask Ember, but, eh, what's her guitar gonna do to plants, even if they are sentient?" The red hoverboarder shrugs, and Jazz tilts her head, looking back to the heroes.
"I think I'll stay with them. You know it gets violent when Dan goes down, so people get antsy about us. I don't want to give the wrong impression."
The other girl huffs, but doesn't argue.
"Okay. Get out of the shield, then, and for Ancients sake, keep your comm open. Danny has an aneurysm every time you turn it off." With that, she flies away, back to the ship, and Jazz taps her hoverboard so it folds down into a hexagon shape no bigger than a backpack. Then, she steps through the shield, joining the JL on the other side of it.
"Are you not scared we might take you hostage?" Asks Wonder Woman just out of curiosity, and Jazz smiles pleasantly at her.
"Don't judge a girl by her looks. I don't want to brag, but I did fist fight Superman once and won."
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So basically, after Amity Park got sucked into Infinite Realms, the whole town just kind of collectively decided they like it there. And somehow they reached a happily ever after with both Danny's reveal to his parents and GIW, and then Clockwork showed up and was like, you guys want human food supply, running water and electricity, right? Well, I can do that, and so much more, you can be the ultimate perfect town. And for the price? You gonna go on adventures from time to time and fix the multiverse when shit hits the fan in various dimensions and universes. Doesn't that sound like fun?
And Amity Park, who's seen so much weird stuff over the years that it greatly affected their idea of common sense, goes yeah, that does sound fun! Let's go, people!
So here they are, appearing in different universes and doing damage control. They are, like, the superheroes for superheroes.
I'm probably going to write a part 2 to it, I want to show off Danny and Dan and Dani too. Halfas on the loose, JL is mildly concerned and kind of scared, and Jazz is just like yeah, that's just another regular Tuesday :)
I love Jazz being a badass, yes. Also, if you didn't get it, the other one on the hoverboard is Val, the drones are controlled by Tucker, and the people on the ropes are GIW agents.
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#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#justice league#JL#multiverse#jazz fenton#valerie gray#giw agents#good fenton parents#i noticed i tend to write most of my stuff with bad fentons#what does it say about me? probs that i have childhood trauma#which i do#anyway stay tuned for bamf dannies in plural#feel free to add on#story prompt#cork prompts#cork writes
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as much as I love the common "Tim worships/stalks Jason" trope in TimJay fanfiction because it's Good and making Tim a weird little freak is Fun, I think the underutilized dynamic is where Jason is the one weirdly obsessed with Tim and makes it Tim's problem.
Like, the moment Jason is confronted with the information that a third Robin exists, the first thing he does is cover his wall with pictures of Tim so he can just obsess and torture himself over it. That is the behavior of a man who is Unwell over Tim's existence and I love it.
red hood: lost days #4
And as much as a shitshow as The Titans Tower Incident™ is characterization-wise (though I think it has far more merit in depicting Jason's character than people give it credit for but I digress-) there's something very fun about the fact that even after kicking his ass, Jason respects Tim and is impressed by him.
teen titans (2003) #29
And on top of that, Jason can't seem to stop trying to ask Jason to Tim to work with him in some capacity.
robin (1993) #177
batman: battle for the cowl #2
While Battle for the Cowl is an exceptionally bad comic, especially for its characterization of Jason and the "be my Robin" bit is taken deeply out of context, I do think it's interesting how obsessed Jason is with believing that Tim is extremely competent, only held back by being "brainwashed by Bruce". (hence him leaving Tim for dead later on in the comic.) Jason seeing a darker side of Tim and wanting to bring that out of Tim, wanting to see what Tim could be if he let go of his loyalty to Bruce is so fun to me, tbh.
And in Robin #177, Jason seems genuinely upset Tim doesn't want to work with him. Jason sees such a raw potential in Tim and is obsessed with it, constantly wanting Tim to work for him and see Tim be the type of person Jason is. And despite Tim rejecting him, Jason doesn't shoot to kill Tim. I just cannot get over the fanfic potential of Jason obsessing over Tim, tracking him and seeing what he's capable of and what he could be capable of. Wanting to make Tim see things the way he does. To Tim it's corruption, to Jason it's freedom. Tim trying to 'save' Jason is fun and all, but Jason trying to corrupt Tim? That's even more fun to me. Watching that power struggle between them, Tim unable to get Jason off his heels as Jason gets more and more possessive and bold with each attempt.
And when Jason sees Tim successfully get Gotham back under control after a gang war, he's impressed. He praises Tim, even. And then Tim just. Breaks him out of prison.
robin (1993) #182
The way they're constantly trying to see something in the other that isn't there, hoping the other will come around? That is the most fucked up hate/love dynamic ever. Jason keeps coming back to Tim, keeps trying to find ways to get Tim onto his side. They're always chasing each other. And I think Jason would be the one to confess love first, the one to do anything to make Tim his. And when you consider after all of this, Tim has his Red Robin arc and is at his lowest, getting the closest he ever gets to considering murder? I think it'd be so fun to see Jason take advantage of that and worm his way back into Tim's life and finally push Tim over the edge.
#jaytim#timjay#tim drake x jason todd#jason todd x tim drake#batcest#necrotic festerings#for the record i could've continued showing examples if i delved into the new-52#but this is meant to be entirely a pre-flashpoint meta analysis of their dynamic#but in the new-52 jason explicitly says tim is the only member of the batfam he likes and they work together regularly#but new-52 also ate ass with tim's characterization so i cannot use it in good faith on this post.#my first tumblr meta on this blog and i'm feeling stressed about putting my thoughts in the open won't lie#one day i'll come back to the titans tower incident and expand on my thoughts on why it's not as bad as ppl make it out to be#dare i say. it's mostly in character for jason minus the ridiculous robin suit and some of his grandstanding#but that debate is for another day#fyi anyone can take this stuff as a prompt/inspo and run with it for fic pls go wild#someday i'll probably write my own take on it too
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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#archive of our own#ao3 stuff#ao3 quotes#archive of our own quotes#fanfic#fanfic quotes#funny#ao3#ao3 tags#ive never written romance before#or a kiss#and im writing it for a NICHOLAS CAGE MOVIE#you can understand how I feel right now#nicholas cage#but as the next tags say on the fic#this movie? so good
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