#it's gonna be the first thing i've written in a long while so it maybe a bit meh but /look/--i tried
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nick-writes-stuff · 3 days ago
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Coming Home (Lucifer x gn!Reader)
a/n: it's finally here!! hope you guys like it, i'm really happy with this one. the ending still cracks me up a bit lmao
warnings: honestly there really isn't any. this one is definitely a bit lighter than the others i've written. it is implied that Lucifer was angry, and there is a second where reader is assumed to be dead, but there isn't anything actually happening (it'll make sense when you read it lol)
When you arrived back in your time period, you and Solomon had left the portal into the palace. You looked around, eyes widening as you recognized that this was your time.
For the first time ever, you saw a look of shock on Barbatos' face as he entered the room. It seems like your arrival was not apparent to him. He led you both up to Diavolo's office at once.
They asked you some questions, wanting to get as much information from you about your predicament. The entire time you were antsy, bouncing your leg and fidgeting with your hands. You wanted to go to the House of Lamentation so badly. You needed them to know you were okay.
When the questions stopped coming, you asked if you could go to the HoL, but Diavolo's reaction puzzled you. "I don't think that would be the best idea." He said, tactfully choosing his words.
Your face fell. "Did something happen?" You asked, leaning forward with urgency.
"No, no nothing like that. It's just..." the Prince trailed off.
"Mammon decided it would be a good idea to try to pawn one of Lucifer's cursed records to pay off his credit card bills." Barbatos said flatly.
Your eyes widened as you processed the information, but your resolve didn't waver. "I still have to go over there. I can still see the others while the two of them settle things."
You knew that you had experienced worse moments of Lucifer's behavior in the past, you could surely deal with this.
Diavolo nodded and Barbatos opened a portal to the house. You gave a soft word of thanks before tepping through it.
You entered into the living room where the twins were. They immediately perked up at the sight of you. Satan and Asmo heard the portal and wandered down to see what had happened. As you all talked and explained the situation of your return, Levi even came down for a snack run completely unaware of your arrival, being shocked at your return. After a few moments you asked, "Where's Mammom and Lucifer?"
The room went quiet, the five giving each other awkward glances before Satan spoke up. "Mammon is in Lucifer's office getting the lecture of the century."
You winced slightly. "How long has it been?"
"Um, it was before I had my snack before dinner, so maybe 4 hours?" Beel said.
You moved to go up the stairs, to which the others reacted negatively to. "MC do you have a death wish?" Amso asked.
Satan agreed. "Lucifer is more angrier at Mammon than I think he's ever been. It probably wouldn't be safe for you to go up there."
"Relax. I'm not gonna interrupt. I'm just gonna wait for them." You said, rolling your eyes and heading upstairs.
---
It was another 2 hours before Lucifer had decided that Mammon had learned his lesson and could be free from the lecture. Mammon rushed out of the room and down the hall, trying to leave before Lucifer changed his mind. In his haste he didn't even notice you.
It was a few minutes later until Lucifer left his office. He needed to meet Diavolo to discuss student council business. The door creaked open and the eldest was quick to notice your presence.
You were sitting on the floor with your back to the wall. Your head leaned against the side of a cabinet. Your eyes were shut as you had dozed off.
For a second, Lucifer assumed he was seeing things. Maybe he had gone too long without sleeping? Admittedly, he has definitely gone too long without sleeping. Maybe Satan and Belphie had decided to play a cruel prank?
His hesitation only lasted a moment until the avatar of pride was kneeling in front of you. He assumed you were injured somehow, because why else would you be unconscious on the floor. His breath was quickening, fearing the worst. He didn't even know how you were here, but here you were unconscious in front of his door and he hadn't even known.
Lucifer grabbed your shoulder shook you gently, trying not to hurt you. "MC? MC wake up, please-" He started, sounding desperate, but he stopped as your eyes flickered open and you yawned softly.
"You really know how to keep someone waiting." You said, giving him a slight smirk even despite your half-asleep state.
You joking was the only thing he needed to hear. He pulled you into his arms in an instant. You felt him take a deep, shuddering breath as if the weight of the world was no longer on his shoulders (because his world was in his arms)
You wrapped your arms around him, lazily tracing soft circles on his back in an attempt to soothe him.
Once he held you for long enough that he could no longer assume it was a dream or a hallucination, he pulled away and began looking you over. "You aren't hurt are you?" He asked.
You shook your head.
He seemed somewhat puzzled at your response. "Then why are you on the floor?"
"Because I had been waiting out here for a while and I was tired."
"You should have just came in, it would have been-" He began, almost having a light scolding tone to his voice.
"After hearing some of the day's events from Satan and Asmo, sorry, but there was no way I was opening that door." You said with a chuckle. Lucifer knew you were right, but he was still a bit frustrated that you hadn't come sooner.
Lucifer seemed to look you over once again before placing a kiss on your forehead. Your face changed to a lovesick grin, looking up at him. He gave you a slightly confused look, silently questioning your expression.
"I missed you." You said.
Lucifer would never admit to the flurry of butterflies in his stomach, but you could tell from his gaze and the light dusting on pink across his cheeks.
He stood up, offering you his hand. You took it and pulled yourself up to stand with him.
"You know, I just got a wonderful tea blend from Akuzon. Would you like a cup?" He asked as he walked to his room.
You smiled. "Of course." You said matter-of-factly. As if you would ever decline.
He made his way to the electric kettle. Whenever he knew he would have a late night, he tended to keep the kettle on so he could have water ready on demand.
You shut the door and moved over to the couch near the window. You took a deep breath, finally feeling like you were able to relax. You look over to watch Lucifer.
"This is an old favorite of mine. It's been out of stock for a while and when I found it I couldn't resist it." He said with a chuckle. He showed you the box, taking a breath to continue speaking but you cut him off.
"No please! I'm so sick of that one!" You said, voice louder than you meant it to be.
He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at you. His gaze was a mixture of confusion and disbelief. the audacity
You were confused too, almost like you expected him to remember the situation you were referring to. "Ohh okay I forgot that wasn't a recent experience for you." You said in realization.
"MC, what in Diavolo's name are you talking about?"
"That flavor of tea was your old favorite for years back in the past. That's the only flavor of tea I've had in weeks. Please, for the love of everything unholy, make me literally any other blend." You said.
Only you could speak to him that way without consequences. He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he pulled a separate box from the cabinet. One of your favorites. He put the other back, as he realized he hadn't had your favorite since you had disappeared, and he wanted to fully indulge himself in the reality that you had returned.
After drinking the tea, you yawned. He looked over to you. "You should go to sleep." he suggested softly.
You were tempted to just go to his bed without question, but your logic overrides your sleepiness. "You should too."
He chuckled, standing up and walking toward his desk. "Nonsense, MC. I need to go inform Diavolo of your return. I fear I've waited long enough-"
"Solomon and I arrived in the castle. I spoke to Diavolo already." You countered. He paused for a moment.
"When is the last time you had quality sleep?"
He went to answer but hesitated as he realized he didn't know the answer.
You grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to the bed. He relented, getting into the bed beside you. You laid your head on his chest, murmuring a soft "good night" as your eyelids fluttered.
He kissed the top of your head. "Good night, my love." He responded, quickly dozing off due to the company of his beloved.
---
The next morning, you walk down to the kitchen to see Mammon making breakfast. While facing the stove he asked "Whoever you are, can you grab the milk for me?"
You oblige his request, grabbing the bottle and turning towards him as he turns around. He dropped the spatula and audibly gasped.
"You're back?!?! GUYS MC IS BACK!" He yelled.
Belphie was half asleep as he entered the kitchen to get a drink. "Yeah, and? They've been here since last night." He snapped as he looked through the cabinet.
Mammon scoffed. "Ya finally get back to us and you forgot to tell the Great Mammon?? What happened to me being your first man." He said, taking great offense to this.
You were never gonna hear the end of this.
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notepadsandtealeaves · 1 year ago
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literally me rn so prepare your bodies ig lmao...
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tthoroughfare · 7 days ago
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crush // abby anderson
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*・゜゚・* summary: abby is like can u read my mind? i've been watching u! couldn't fight to save ur life, but you look so cool!!! just me rambling about making abby realize she's not straight
*・゜゚・* pairing: canon!abby x reader
*・゜゚・* content: sfw! you two dancing around each other for now. abby being nervous and cute.
*・゜゚・* length: 1.3k
this is part one and i've already written the majority of the rest. just thought this was a good way to break it up :)
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recently i am thinking A Lot about the concept of being the girl that makes abby realize she’s not straight ,,, and the first girl she’s ever with
the idea of her being all fumbly and nervous and you having to take the lead. it’s just good
i also love the idea of being very different to her. you’re not a soldier like her, maybe you do something technical and sciencey. you get moved to the base and become friends, and people are just like… kinda surprised that you’re so close, so fast? on paper, you don’t seem to have that much in common but it just works. she likes that you’re different to her, it’s refreshing
you’d already heard a lot about her before you moved. you told her that not long into being friends with her, to which she’d scoffed a little, toying with her fingers. you were in the canteen, the two of you sitting opposite each other on the end of the table, leaving a gap between the rest of the group.
“good or bad?”
“good,” you’d chuckled, taking a bite of your lunch.
she paused, flitting her gaze away as you held eye contact, chewing slowly. “gonna elaborate?”
the corners of your mouth quirked as you swallowed. “just that you’re… pretty impressive. good at what you do. slightly intimidating.”
she scoffed again, eyebrows twitching. “i’m not… do you think i’m… you think that?”
“…impressive or intimidating?”
“either.”
you’d looked downwards, pausing before meeting her eyes with a teasing smile on your face. “you’re very tall.”
she didn’t tell you this at the time, but she’d heard things about you, too. she hadn’t paid it much mind at the time, but there had been a couple of mentions of a scientist girl moving in to help out with a new assignment full time, and that she was, ‘like, a genius’
also, manny had said something to her along the lines of ‘apparently she’s hot’, while raising his eyebrows with a cheeky smirk
she’d just rolled her eyes
but then she meets you for the first time, and okay. he wasn’t wrong
it’s only a chaste introduction as you cross paths one day, but she has to make a real effort to keep her cool. she doesn’t understand it, she’s just affected by you, just has to know you
and then she does know you, and she still wants to know you more. it’s this feeling, this drive, always wanting more more more
it sends her crazy. the fact it takes her so long to realize she has a crush on you makes her look back and laugh at her own naivety
she finds out you’re gay maybe a month into being friends with you, when you’re hanging out with her at the library. she never gave much thought to the fact you seemed to follow her around, spend nearly all your spare time with her. she figured it was just because you didn’t know anyone else that well yet.
she’s quietly reading on one side of the couch, while you try your best to get some work done on the other, papers strewn over the coffee table in front. it’s difficult to concentrate, though, even though you’re fully aware how inundated you are. one of her legs is slung up on the couch, bent at the knee, and you’re so conscious of the proximity.
after a good while of trying and failing to get anywhere, you look up at her and lean in a little. “hey, abby?”
she looks up from her book, acknowledging you.
“i’m bored.”
she chuckles as she sits up, closing the pages around her middle finger to keep her place. “c’mon, we need you to… save the world.”
you let out a small, fond scoff, putting your notebook and pen down on the coffee table. “that’s really… not what i do. appreciate the delusion of grandeur you’ve just given me, though.”
she watches you with a smile, not meeting your eyes as you sit back on the couch, shuffling around to face her. “so…” you begin.
“so…?” she parrots, raising her eyebrows slightly.
“what went on between you and owen?”
she’s a little shocked at your bluntness, laughing nervously and shifting in her seat. as far as she was aware, you didn’t even know anything about that. “what?”
you pull a face. “come on, i’m not stupid. i notice things.”
in truth, you’re using the question as a trojan horse to figure out if she likes women. you are genuinely curious, though, and right now the conversation sounds a hell of a lot better than doing what you’re actually supposed to be.
she pauses, eyes flitting around the room. “uh… we were together for a while. and now we’re not.”
you nod slowly, waiting for an elaboration that never comes. “that’s it?”
abby shrugs awkwardly, and you feel a little bad for pushing, holding your hands up. “sorry, sorry. i don’t mean to pry.”
“s’okay.” she messes with the novel, eyes trained on it as she runs the pad of her index over the closed pages. “what about you? you got a boyfriend?”
“i, uh… i was with someone. it didn’t work out.”
she hums in sympathy. “he a scientist, too?”
“she’s a medic.”
abby freezes, looking up at you, mouth falling open slightly. she feels stupid for assuming. “oh, shit, sorry. i didn’t realize you were — sorry. not that there’s anything wrong with that.” she mentally kicks herself for the last statement. of course there isn’t. she doesn’t even know why she said it.
you laugh, amused by her babbling and the way the tops of her cheeks turn pink. “you’re good, you’re good.”
she lets out a final, ‘sorry’, gaze darting from you, to her book, to the shelf on your right. then, she looks back at you, feeling the need to break the slightly uncomfortable silence that had fallen. “anyway… her loss.”
you chuckle. “owen’s loss. who needs ‘em?”
“who needs ‘em?” she repeats, breathing out a laugh.
after the revelation, something shifts for abby. she doesn’t know why, but finding out that you like women makes her feel… different (?) about you
not in a bad way. just different
she’d always looked at you and thought you were beautiful. possibly more beautiful than any girl she’d ever seen
and she knew she was nervous around you; she was normally pretty outgoing and didn’t really have an issue talking to anyone. but when it came to you she’d overthink every sentence, words getting caught in her throat. she just felt such a need to impress you, wanted to say and do everything right
she just thought that she really, really wanted to be friends with you. that she thought you were cool, and admirable, and funny, and smart, and liked being around you
but finding out that you’re gay just makes her… think. on a whole other level she’d never really looked into
knowing that you could, maybe, maybe, be a viable option sends her mind reeling with a whole host of confusing thoughts more than she’d like to admit
she’d never really put much thought into her sexuality. she’d always just assumed she was straight. sure, she’d looked at women before, gotten a little flustered around pretty girls, but just guessed everyone did
but when it was you… like. you… it was a whole other ballgame
and then, over a few months, she starts thinking about silly things like how it would feel to touch you — really touch you, not just the friendly brushes you already shared. how soft you’d feel, how it would be to have her fingers threaded through your hair
then she starts thinking about if she’d maybe want to kiss you
she decides she’s not against the idea
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mysteryshoptls · 3 months ago
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SSR Fellow Honest - Playful Dress Voice Lines
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When Summoned: As long as you have Fellow Honest-sama by your side, there is nothing for you to fear.
Summon Line: In my good hands, you'll have all the applause and fame you could ever dream of! Now then, is the next stage over this way?
Groooovy!!: Let's go, Gidel! Life is all about being free and having fun!
Home: Go! Showtime!
Home Idle 1: So, it's written here in this textbook... Mhmm. Uh-huh. I seeeee! ...I ain't got a clue what it's tryin' to say.
Home Idle 2: That little brat! ...Ahem. Have you seen Ace-kun anywhere? I thought I'd pay him back for a prank he just pulled a bit ago.
Home Idle 3: Hey, Gidel, didja see how grand the cafeteria is here...? Better eat up as much as we can while we're here!
Home Idle - Login: Well, ain't this a fine, scholarly establishment. I can feel my knees knockin' together just from stepping foot on campus. Don'tcha agree, Gidel?
Home Idle - Groovy: Fwahaha! Ramshackle's a real odd name for a dorm. You got a pretty sweet pad, you better take care of it.
Home Tap 1: I seriously don't know what to make of Kalim-kun's happy-go-lucky nature. Even if I hadn't been the one to trap him, he definitely would've ended up in some kind of pinch some day, you know that, right?
Home Tap 2: I'll admit it now, but I was definitely shocked when I first laid eyes on Ortho-kun. I guess there really are a ton of curious things at a school.
Home Tap 3: You want to know how I wormed my way onto this campus? Maybe you really shouldn't underestimate Fellow Honest-sama's gilded silver tongue.
Home Tap 4: It seems you young scholars have no appreciation for being able to learn in a school like you do. If you're gonna skive off anyway, just drop out already.
Home Tap 5: What, you want to hear about all the different kinds of shows I've done? Fwahaha! I dunno, maaaybe it'll be a little too exciting for you to handle, hm?
Home Tap - Groovy: Oh, boy. I definitely know I want the school that I put together to be a waaay more peaceful and refined place than Night Raven College.
Duo: [FELLOW]: Now, it's time for the show, Grim-kun. [GRIM]: Fellow! I'll show you what a real star can do!
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Requested by @sakurakudo.
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ckret2 · 4 months ago
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Chapter 62* of the first day of the rest of human Bill Cipher's life—he's back in the Mystery Shack but whether or not he's a prisoner anymore is up in the air, he's proven he knows how to escape, and the Pines have proven they don't want to execute him anymore. For now. How's he gonna celebrate?
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With back pain! That's what you get from half a week of running around in the woods ignoring all your body's pain signals.
But at least it can't get worse.
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This chapter is book compatible but book spoiler free! The fic won't remain spoiler free, but while I figure out how to incorporate the new info in the fic, we're proceeding with pre-written chapters unaltered.
[*you may notice chapter 61 is missing! This plot was done sooner, so I'll be posting chapter 61 sometime after 64. It's not chronological so you're not missing anything!]
####
Soos was awakened by Melody as she thrashed and sucked in a gasp like a scream. Groggily, Soos said, "Babe? You okay?"
She rolled over, grabbing for his arms with trembling hands. "Soos—"
"I've got you." He half sat up with a sleepy groan and pulled Melody into his embrace. She pressed her face into his chest with a sigh. As he stroked her hair, her breathing slowly steadied out again.
"M'good," Melody said. "Sorry I woke you."
"Don't worry about it, babe. Always happy to cuddle." He yawned. "Sleep paralysis again?"
"Yeah," Melody sighed.
For as long as Melody could remember, she'd had sleep paralysis nightmares: nights where she'd wake up and find she was unable to move any part of her body but her eyes, and a monster escaped from her worst dreams was lurking in the room. Shadowy figures with glowing eyes, twisted demonic representations of her least favorite teachers, hunched hags with claws extending out of tattered robes—for three years, it had looked like a werewolf-mummy from an old horror movie that terrified her as a child—filling the doorway, or silhouetted in the window, or standing perfectly straight in the corner with neck tilted sideways as though it were broken, or staring hungrily down at her from the ceiling with bulging eyes, or crawling up from the foot of the bed and over her body to grab her throat.
The first time she spent the night with Soos, she'd warned him about her sleep paralysis; but for the past year, she'd never had a nightmare while sleeping in the Mystery Shack. She'd even been completely free of them for several months—something subconsciously reassuring about having her fiancé next to her, probably—until their unwelcome house guest moved in and she'd gone back to sleeping at her aunt's house in town.
And now she was even having them in the shack.
"This is the third time in less than a month," Soos asked. "Same one as usual?"
"Mhm."
"I couldn't protect you this time," Soos said mournfully. "I have failed you as your knight in shining armor... Maybe I need shining armor. Do you think they make like, shiny silver spandex pajamas?"
Melody laughed. "Soos, you goofball." She hugged him tighter. "It's fine. I always get sleep paralysis more when I'm stressed. And the situation in the shack's been... well..."
"Yeah," Soos sighed. "I know." She didn't need to tell him what part of "the situation" was stressing her out.
For the past year, ever since Weirdmageddon—which she'd been just unlucky enough to catch live on a weekend trip to visit Soos—her sleep paralysis demon had looked like Bill Cipher.
She'd told Soos this last fall, and in a panic he'd told her that Bill was a dream-invading demon; and for a moment they'd feared this meant Bill had found a way back. But no—according to Soos, Bill was a real chatterbox, and he was always doing something if he invaded your dreams. The thing Melody saw acted like any of her other nightmares: creepy. Standing on too-long legs at the end of the bed; giving off sickly yellow light she could see through her eyelids; staring at her with one bloodshot eye; crawling onto her chest with claws like gnarled black branches. It was just an unlucky coincidence that the real Bill had been a dream demon, and just an unlucky coincidence that being petrified by an eye-bat felt so much like sleep paralysis.
Ironically, now she had confirmation that her nightmares didn't mean Bill was back—because, when Bill did come back, her nightmares hadn't changed.
"My subconscious just hasn't caught up to the fact that you guys finally executed him," Melody said, getting comfortable to go back to sleep. "The good news is, the real Bill's gone and we never need to worry about that again."
"Oh," Soos said. "Um. By the way. The craziest thing happened at like one in the morning."
####
Bill was creeping upstairs to bed when he heard Melody shout, "He's WHAT?!"
He had to clap a hand over his mouth to keep from bursting out giggling.
####
Bill was getting better at using his other eyes in his sleep, even when he hadn't chemically connected himself to them. His range wasn't very far yet. From inside the shack, all he could feel was his hoodie, his new necklace, a handful of drawings Mabel had done, and four blankets of his zodiac wheel: two in the kids' room, one in Soos's, and one in the dark.
Around eight in the morning, Mabel was still sleeping comfortably and Dipper was staring at the ceiling worrying; all was right with the world. He only glanced into Soos's room long enough to overhear Melody, "—I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad about the whole situation. I mean, I'll adjust, but still—" before moving on, uninterested in listening to a cutesy couple reassuring each other.
The fourth blanket was in some tight dark container—leather?—but he could hear a muffled voice: "If Bill's staying here on a long term basis, we need to renegotiate... almost everything about his captivity." That was Ford. It was gratifying to know that even when Bill was asleep, the whole household was thinking about him.
"Yeah, you're right," Stan sighed. "We can't just let him keep sleeping on a couple of cushions. We haven't been able to use that couch all summer." There was the sound of a zipper and the lid over the zodiac blanket swung up, revealing Stan standing above.
Ford said, "And trying to get him to sleep in the living room is a lost cause. He says he needs to sleep in a room where he can see the stars."
A guilty look crossed Stan's face. "Right. That's probably it." He pushed the zodiac blanket aside, pulled out a t-shirt, and shut the suitcase again. "We could get—I don't know—an inflatable mattress or something..."
"There's an unused mattress in the basement, isn't there? Maybe we could haul it up." (It wasn't a terribly comfortable mattress. But Bill supposed they only wanted to give him the bare minimum so they could get their precious couch cushions back.)
"I'll ask Soos about it," Stan said. "Well, let's get this over with."
That was Bill's cue to wake up. He'd like to look alert when they came for him. Negotiations ought to go in his favor; he could still threaten suicide if their terms felt too restrictive—or even just threaten to escape, he could do that now if he didn't like their terms!—but they couldn't threaten to kill him anymore. He wondered if he could get phone privileges...
He opened his eyes. He was laying on his left side, the window at his back. He tried to push himself upright.
Sharp pain exploded in the left side of his back. He gasped, collapsing on his side. The pain clawed over his left shoulder, inside his arm, up his neck, across to his right shoulder blade, down nearly to his hips. His entire body tensed around the pain.
He let out a weak, wheezy laugh. (He could feel his ribcage contracting as he exhaled.) That was truly exquisite pain.
All right. He shouldn't be surprised by this. He'd spent four of the last five days tromping through forests and mountains and three of the last five nights getting next to no sleep, including two nights in a thin sleeping bag. The last couple of days, he'd hiked all over creation carrying two fully-loaded backpacks, in a body that had gotten next to no exercise for the past month and probably hadn't been designed for hiking in the first place. And on top of all that, first he'd thought the Axolotl was coming to arrest him and then that the Pines were going to kill him—and human bodies handled emotional stress very poorly. Not to mention whatever the heck had happened when three-fourths of his body had simply stopped working for an hour.
He'd ached for days. He'd simply kept pushing himself through it all, because this stupid weak human body didn't get the luxury of rest when Bill's life and death were on the line. 
Apparently, that was all the pushing it could take. Now he felt like someone had shoved a knife in his back and twisted the muscles up around the blade like twirling a forkful of spaghetti. (Oh, that sounded delicious. One more brilliant idea to implement when he restarted Weirdmageddon: spinal muscle spaghetti. Freshly grated parmesan, maybe a little pesto.)
It was difficult even to breathe—that little motion was enough to make his back muscles squeal in pain. He had to carefully move his hips and right arm in tiny motions to let him roll onto his back while roiling up his pained muscles as little as possible; and then he just as carefully rolled onto his right side, his back to the room. The human body was such a fascinatingly complex interconnected thing, crisscrossed with puppet strings that all tugged each other; no matter what part of his body he moved, somehow it managed to yank on something in his upper left back. He curled his left arm against his chest and squeezed his elbow with his right arm, trying to find a way to tense the rest of his body that reduced the tension on his back.
He heard the door to Mabel and Dipper's room open. For lack of a better plan, he shut his eyes and tried to look natural as they passed him on the way to the stairs. Like heck was he about to let the kids know he was in pain, much less ask them for help. He doubted he was severely injured—he combed through his knowledge of human anatomy—probably just a muscle spasm. It would reduce in a few hours; and then he could make his way downstairs and figure out how to convince someone to get him an ice pack out of the freezer without betraying that anything was wrong. For now, he just had to lay down, try to find a position that didn't stab into his revolting muscles, and wait...
Downstairs, Stan bellowed, "Hey, demon! Get down here!"
Right. What were the odds Bill could make it downstairs and fake that he wasn't in agonizing pain in front of the Pines family? Could he suppress those winces convincingly? He tried to sit up.
And immediately fell to his side again with a gasp. In spite of his breathtakingly self-destructive willpower, he physically couldn't force himself to sit upright. Why not! What was the point?! He didn't mind the pain half as much as his body did, and he thought he should be the one in control here!
Stan hollered, "BILL!"
His voice cracked, "Later!" Ugh. Good thing he'd gotten in his dramatic return last night. He suspected that was the last time he'd look cool for a while.
####
Soos was just emerging from the bedroom when he heard Stan shouting, "I said get down here, Cipher!"
There was a long pause before the reply came from upstairs: "Can't!"
"I WASN'T ASKING!"
"ME NEITHER."
Something was up. Bill always talked a little too hard—not always loud, but hard—as though he were trying to carry on a regular conversation over a strong wind; but Soos thought something about his voice seemed even more forced today. Almost strained.
Soos heard Stan and Ford talking quietly as they headed up the stairs—"...sounds off, do you think he's injured?" "I can't imagine how, if he'd been up this morning we would have heard him banging around..."—and he followed them up.
At the top of the stairs, Stan demanded, "Well? What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me." Bill was curled up on his usual cushion bed. He didn't even turn to look at them. "Just—let me sleep in. Am I not allowed to sleep in? It's not like I have a job." Now that he wasn't straining to shout, his voice sounded even more pained—barely more than a tight whisper.
"All right, fine. Nothing's wrong with you," Ford said. "Then what's wrong with your body?"
Bill chuckled weakly in defeat. "Back's in too much agony to do its job, so I'm giving it the day off."
"Oh, dude," Soos said sympathetically. "Back pain is the worst. One time, I messed up my back after carrying a bunch of boxes between the museum and the attic? Yeah, it was pretty bad for like, a day. I was kinda crying, because it hurt, but also because I had to miss work, and I felt awful about it—but then I remembered the Mystery Shack was closed that day, and I wasn't��missing work. So I went to sleep."
Stan and Ford stared expectantly at Soos.
"That's it, that's my whole anecdote."
"Riveting," Bill said flatly. "Did you invite everyone up here to stare at me?" With great difficulty, he pulled his bedsheet up over his head, leaving only a pile of golden curls visible. "Anyway. I'd love to come downstairs—really, I'm famished—buuut my back won't cooperate, and I can't tell you how furious I am about laying on the ground like an idiot at the feet of three of my captors, so if. you. all. would. leave. Please." The "please" came out sounding like the final word of a hex.
Soos winced. Oh, yeah, he supposed being stuck on the floor in front of a bunch of guys you didn't like was pretty embarrassing. He looked toward the stairs and shifted his feet, waiting for the Stans to make a move that direction.
But instead they huddled up to discuss. Stan muttered, "Think he's faking?"
"Why would he?" Soos asked.
Ford murmured, "Soos is right—unless he's that desperate to sleep in, I can't think of a reason he'd lie. He had some... muscular issues after the eclipse—and who knows what he's been up to the last couple of days..." Ford raised his voice, "This isn't the same thing as after the eclipse—?"
"No, just garden variety human back pain," Bill said quickly. "I assume it's garden variety. I've never had back pain before."
"Can you tell what muscles it is?"
"Ugh." Bill let out a shaky sigh. "Pain's... generalized, but... top suspect is the latissimus dorsi. Next guess is the erector spinae group."
"What," Stan said.
Ford nodded like he knew what Bill was talking about. Which he probably did, Soos figured. Doctor and all. "Probably not a severe injury, then. It likely just needs rest—"
Irritably, Bill snapped, "Like I said."
"Great," Stan said. "Then I don't care anymore." He headed downstairs. "Lemme know when the demon can walk again."
Soos and Ford exchanged an awkward look, silently debating whether to follow suite. Ford turned to Bill and cleared his throat. "What do you want for breakfast."
Bill groaned and muttered, "Probably can't use utensils. Whatever, just—bacon and toast and the strongest painkillers in the house."
"All right." Ford headed downstairs.
That struck Soos as inadequate. Trailing after Ford, he said, "Dude, Bill's in so much pain he can't even sit up. Shouldn't we offer to call a doctor or something?"
Ford said, "Knowing Bill, he'd rather die."
Soos considered that. "I'm gonna offer it anyway." He backtracked enough to get his head above the attic floor. "Hey Bill, do you want us to call a doctor or something?"
"I'd rather die."
"Haha, okay! Welp, glad I checked."
But as he headed down to the kitchen, something about the situation still bothered Soos.
Ford was already laying out bacon in a frying pan. "Soos, could you get the painkillers?" he asked. "We should probably give him individual pills rather than the whole bottle. When he got his hands on the cold medicine, he used it to get crossfaded with cider and to drug a wild animal."
Soos winced. Ouch, was that the cold medicine he'd given Bill? (He wondered when Ford had learned the phrase "crossfaded.") 
"Hey... didn't Bill say he was famished?" Soos asked. "Is it kinda weird he's just asking for bacon and toast?"
It took Ford a long moment to answer. He didn't look up from the bacon. "I... suppose he's too proud to ask for anything more complicated."
"Why wait for him to ask, then? Just make him some more stuff anyway?"
Ford shook his head. "He'd be insulted."
Ford had been right about Bill's reactions so far, but— "Okay, fine. Then I'll bring it upstairs and insult him. He'll be insulted and fed. What do you think he'll eat?"
Ford glanced at Soos. Soos thought the look was grateful.
####
Apparently, Bill's age looked a little bit different to everybody. Soos had first found out when Abuelita mentioned that Bill looked like one of those ladies she saw at bingo night who were clearly 60-something, but had had a little too much work done—makeup, facial injections, hair dye. The sort who never really looked younger, but rather just gave off the impression that they were terrified of looking older.
So Soos had asked Mabel, and she said that Bill looked like he was in his mid-20s—about Soos's age, maybe a little older. He'd asked Dipper, and Dipper said he had no idea—to him, Bill never really looked quite convincingly human, more like an alien wearing a human rubber mask—but if he had to take a guess at the age the rubber mask was supposed to portray... like, middle-age-ish? Parent-middle-age-ish? Maybe 40-something? 40-something. Melody had had a hard time as well, but eventually settled on early 30s—the age you imagined a snotty Silicon Valley startup CEO would be.
Which was all very fascinating to Soos.
Because to him, Bill looked eighteen. Exactly eighteen.
At 23, Soos was just reaching the age where 18-year-olds stopped looking like peers and started looking like babies. Eighteen was "you know this is what an adult looks like, but it takes you by surprise almost every time" age. Eighteen was "you wouldn't be surprised to see this face behind a counter working as a barista, but you'd be a little alarmed if you overheard them talking about paying rent" age. Eighteen was "they can be all alone in the world making their own decisions and it's technically okay, but if they are, then someone failed them" age.
To him, Bill looked like somebody who'd been flung callously out into the world before his time—unprepared, overwhelmed, and alone.
Soos knew Bill was older than the whole universe or whatever. He knew that Bill was the guy who'd tried to take over the Earth. But he wasn't that guy now. Look at him. He shouldn't have been worried about imprisonment or world domination or getting executed. He should have been making pocket change working at the mall food court over summer break and playing Dancy Pants Revolution at the arcade with other recent high school grads and making puppy eyes at all the small business owners in town until somebody offered him a minimum-wage full-time job and sneaking into the movie theater on Saturday mornings.
Soos was finding it more and more impossible to see Bill as the enemy, much less as some incomprehensible alien. He had cousins who looked like Bill. Slap a pair of sunglasses over his freaky eyes and try to ignore that his body proportions were just a bit unnatural, and he could blend right into a Ramirez family portrait. Just another post-high-school pre-college kid in the middle of the transition from skinny teen to fat adult that most Ramirez women went through by 30. His neon yellow hair would fit right in beside Reggie's little sister's current neon red dye job.
From the moment Bill temporally poofed into the Mystery Shack on June 1 with a Pony Heist bedsheet toga and an ineffective vengeance plot, he'd been going through the physical and emotional wringer. Soos got it, of course Bill was having a bad time, he was a prisoner because he was a danger to the whole universe. And being human for the first time was probably tough. One time Soos was stuck in a pig's body and that was rough, and it was only for one day and at least Soos had still been a mammal. It was probably inevitable that Bill was having a bad time.
But it bothered Soos, seeing somebody in his house who was so miserable. And it bothered him that no one else seemed very bothered.
He loved the Pines family—he'd reverse-adopted Stan as his dad and he'd give his life for any one of them—but part of him had to wonder whether they'd be more bothered by witnessing the hell Bill was going through if he looked like he could be part of their family.
####
"Hey dawg!" Soos hefted up the tray as he entered the attic. "Breakfast!"
Bill was still buried under his bedsheet. "Stanford couldn't be bothered to come up himself?"
"I wanted to bring it!"
Bill grumbled something inaudible. He'd made no secret of the fact that he disdained Soos, although Soos had no idea why. When a human looked down on Soos, he had a couple guesses; but he didn't know what an alien could judge him for. Was it the British dog man nightmare? Was Bill insulted by Soos's 10th grade geometry grades?
But Bill didn't protest, so Soos scooted around his makeshift bed to set the tray down on the floor in front of him. "Uh... feel better, dude. Hey, you know—if sleeping on the floor is hurting your back, the fold-out sofa in the living room is still totally available. Just, in case you wanna—"
"Not interested," Bill said. "Buzz off, Questiony."
"Okay." He'd offered.
Soos was almost back to the stairs when Bill said, "What is all this stuff?"
"It's breakfast!" The tray included bacon, a toasted sandwich, a drink with one of those straw that bent in the middle so Bill didn't have to sit up all the way up to drink it, a pre-opened chip bag, and a pre-opened pill bottle. (Soos had elected to ignore Ford's advice that they mete out painkillers one pill at a time. If they gave Bill individual pills, he'd have to ask for more when they wore off, and Soos suspected he'd rather choose to suffer.)
"I didn't ask for this."
"Well, I thought you might want some other stuff."
"I don't."
Surprise! Bill was insulted. Soos didn't understand how he could be insulted by some extra food for breakfast—he's still gotten his bacon and toast—but all right, fine, Soos had been warned. "Oh, okay. Just don't eat anything you don't want."
Bill grunted in response.
As Soos started down the stairs, Bill said, "Hey, Questiony. If Mabel asks where I am, just tell her I woke up for breakfast then decided to sleep in."
Aww, he didn't want her to worry. "What about if Dipper asks?"
"Tell him to mind his own business."
"Heh. You got it, dude." Soos headed back to the kitchen—still bothered.
####
Yesterday, Soos and Melody had made plans to take advantage of the Mystery Shack being closed for the day to make breakfast together, the way they used to during the off season. But today, Melody had said that, now that Bill was alive again, she wasn't comfortable eating in the shack, and she'd gone to her aunt's house. She'd said she wasn't mad at Soos, and he believed her—he'd played no part in Bill's continued survival—but still. It kinda felt like she was mad at Soos.
So Soos was eating brunch by himself in the kitchen when Bill gingerly eased himself downstairs—leaning to one side, wincing in pain, one eye squeezed shut, and supporting himself on his broken umbrella; but, mobile again. He ducked into the living room where Stan and Ford were watching TV and, from what Soos had overheard, planning what to do with the rest of their summer. "Okay, I'm here," Bill said. "Negotiations?"
"Hey—no weapons," Stan said. "Hand over the umbrella."
"What! You let me keep it last night."
"Yeah, when it was raining and we were tired. I don't see any rain inside the house."
"Hey, Mr. Pines?" Soos leaned out of the kitchen. "Bill was just using the umbrella to walk? Maybe we could let him keep this one?"
Bill shot Soos a dirty look, face flushed. (What was that for!)
Stan paused, and turned to Ford for a verdict. Ford pressed his lips together, looked away, and muttered, "Well, if he's using it for legitimate purposes."
Bill stared at Ford, brows raised in amazement. "Wait, wait—I'm allowed to have it now?"
"Yes?" Ford said. "I mean—If you're using it to walk, why wouldn't you be?"
"Why wouldn't I—?!" Bill laughed in disbelief. "'No weapons, Bill!' 'No weapons, Bill!' Ev-ry sin-gle time! No canes, no umbrellas, no brooms, no baseball bats, no GOLF CLUBS, no STICKS, no CURTAIN RODS—"
"Oh come on!" Stan spread his hands defensively. "Some of those can obviously be used as weapons—!"
"I wouldn't have needed a baseball bat if you hadn't already taken my cane!"
"You tried to brain Soos with a cane on your first day."
Bill shot another dirty look at Soos.
Soos said apologetically, "That did objectively happen."
Bill rolled his open eye and glowered at Stan again. "What, so because of that I'm not allowed to walk?"
"I," Stan said. "That." He turned to Ford again for help.
Ford said, "If we'd known you needed a cane—"
"I fall down the stairs twice a day!"
"Well," Ford said.
"You use me falling to tell when I'm up in the morning!"
"Ah."
"Did it not occur to you! That this was a problem! That I was trying to solve!"
"I see your point."
Why didn't he just say something, Soos wondered; followed by, what, the guy who refused to explain why he was stuck laying on the floor until we dragged it out of him?
"Well, you've got an umbrella now," Stan said. "Happy?"
"Elated," Bill said sourly. He perched on the armrest of the sofa, visibly wincing as he crossed his legs and found the right position to balance himself. (Soos noted that, since Stan and Ford were already occupying both armchairs and the sofa's seat cushions were in the attic, Bill didn't have any cushioned place to sit. With back pain, no less.) "Let's get this over with."
The crux of the negotiations was that, when Bill and the Pines had initially agreed on the terms of his imprisonment, they'd only been meant to be sufficient enough to last until either the Pines figured out how to kill him or Bill figured out how to escape. Now that both had happened and it looked like Bill would be staying here longer than planned, they supposed they needed something more sustainable.
Bill requested door rights back. Stan and Ford nixed that immediately; they didn't trust him with that kind of freedom.
"Fine, then at least let me go outside. I want fresh air, blue skies, and a social life! I'm an extrovert, I'm losing even more of my mind in here."
Stan and Ford exchanged a look. "Yeah," Stan said grudgingly. "He's more or less in solitary in here. Even for him, that's harsh." (A ghost of a triumphant smirk flickered across Bill's face and disappeared.)
Ford considered that with an unconvinced grimace; but he said, "I suppose... you can make occasional trips outside the shack for... mental health purposes. Under adequate supervision."
"Finally," Bill sighed. "So what's 'adequate' supervision?"
That was where negotiations broke down. Stan and Ford did not think that Mabel alone was adequate supervision for the villainous Bill Cipher, and Wendy was just barely sufficient for Rainbow Club nights but he couldn't be trusted alone with her outside that; Bill, on the other hand, objected strenuously to the suggestion that he could only go outside with somebody who hated and/or distrusted him—which described everyone in the shack except Wendy and Mabel—because that would just make going outside miserable.
They couldn't agree on what kinds of things Bill would be allowed to do, either. They didn't like the idea of him hanging out with Rainbow Club members outside of club meetings, or going with Abuelita to bingo, or visiting a bar in town—all of those would give him too many opportunities to manipulate people with minimal oversight.
"Okay," Bill said irritably, "so are there any social activities I am allowed to participate in! Since it sounds like socialization itself is off limits—!"
Soos decided to make himself scarce before things got any more heated. Maybe he'd go upstairs to retrieve the tray from breakfast.
####
The bacon and drink had been consumed; the bendy straw had been tied in a double loop; the pill bottle was alarmingly light; the sandwich had been picked at, before Bill elected to eat the toast around it and leave the filling behind on the plate; and the potato chip bag had been flung across the room, crushed chips left in its wake, in some sort of protest against receiving unasked-for food. Okay. So Bill was really insulted, then.
Eh, Soos should probably clean up here anyway. He took pride in keeping the Mystery Shack clean, but he hadn't had a chance to thoroughly clean the attic since Bill and the kids moved in for the summer. And it looked like the projectile potato chips weren't the only junk food trash that had accumulated. He saw empty chip bags, candy wrappers, peanut butter jars, jerky packets, cider cans... a lot of cider cans...
He went downstairs, got a broom, a trash bag, and a vacuum, and got to work.
As Soos worked his way across the floor sucking up potato chips, he quietly sang to himself, "Am I cleanin'? Girl, I'm cleanin'. I vacuum in the attic. 'Are you cleanin'?' Yeah, I'm cleanin'. I vacuum in the..." He picked up the couch cushions to vacuum under them—he still wondered why Bill preferred to sleep on the cushions rather than the sofa bed downstairs. Maybe he got scared of the dark and liked to sleep by a window? That would make sense. Since Bill used to glow when he was a triangle, he probably wasn't used to the dark. Or maybe he just thought the attic was cooler than the living room.
Soos almost set the cushions back on the ground, noticed bloodstains on one, and froze. He'd seen Bill with a lot of little injuries, but had he seen any cuts that big? The blood didn't look fresh. They'd at least been here long enough for Bill to hide them on the underside of the cushion. Soos looked around wildly for any clues about how or why or when, uneasily decided that since they were dry and Bill wasn't dead he didn't need to worry about it, and pulled out the upholstery attachment to give the stain a halfhearted vacuuming before putting the cushions back in place. What the heck was happening in this attic?
Soos scooped up the mostly yellow and black clothes sitting at the foot of the cushion-bed—they were outside Bill's cardboard box "dresser," he figured that meant they were dirty—wrapped them in Bill's Pony Heist sheet, and tossed the bundle toward the staircase. They flew down to the landing without hitting the stairs. "Yes! Three points! No net!" Soos pumped his fist.
He cleaned the window seat's cushion with the upholstery attachment, picked it up to clean underneath—and the cushion was really heavy on one side. He felt that side of the cushion; there was something hard and brick-ish inside. He caught a flash of white along one edge. The cushion's stuffing was coming out of a tear in the seam. Soos reached inside.
His jaw dropped. "No way. How did he...?"
Soos had pulled out two stubby crayons and the long-lost Journal 4.
####
(If you got this far thank you for taking a break from the fandom-wide riots over the book in order to read my fic. (I'm assuming there's fandom-wide riots, I'm queuing this Monday night so that I don't have to worry about it for the rest of the week.) Anyway, I'd love to hear what y'all think about our first Soos-focused plot arc!
And as promised, now that the book's out, I'll be getting to work crossposting the fic to Ao3 soon-ish. I don't know when yet, since I'm writing to y'all from the past, but soon.)
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daengtokki · 8 days ago
Text
you know what I like
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idol!Kim Seungmin x female reader
wc: 2.5k
rating: explicit (desperate, needy sex and reader endlessly pining)
comments: this is my pathetic attempt at reposting one of my favorite oneshots I've ever written. originally written to force myself out of a bad block.
MASTERLIST
─────── ♡
It’s been months since you've had him to yourself—since you've had him at all. His voice, his taste, the softness of his lips...everything feels brand new again after so long. He matches the eagerness of your kiss while his hands fight your clothes, but it’s hot tonight, and the AC broke, so every piece of fabric sticks. You might pass out in this bed if Seungmin is as eager and horny as he usually is.
“That’s better,” he says as he finally rids you of everything, and you latch onto his neck, “I have been very, very impatient.”
The words in your head almost slip out. “Yeah? Did you miss me, Minnie?” Much tamer, but his eyes jump up at you, back down to the space between your hips, then back to your eyes.
“Yeah…missed you,” his tongue pokes out and licks his bottom lip.
Maybe he did, but you know exactly where his mind is when his palm runs down his side, pulls at his shorts, and his hard, aching cock is finally free. The sigh that comes from his chest is so heavy—every bit of stress inside of him is trying to escape.
You go for his neck again, and he laughs when you suck the spot beneath his ear. Ticklish. You know how to get a good giggle out of him, and you never miss an opportunity. Seungmin can be as rough and serious as he wants to be, but a kiss or a lick in just the right spot always softens him up.
Seungmin squeezes your side as you lift yourself, and grins as you jump, and he can’t hold the rest of his smile back. His teeth part and you watch his tongue poke out between them.
“Okay…okay” You shake a little as you hold yourself there, bracing for another squeeze, but it doesn’t come. He has one thing on his mind.
Seungmin slides a hand between your open thighs, strokes himself with his other, “be a good girl for me.”
“I’m always good for you”
He laughs again, then relaxes and digs his fingers into your hip. The slow stretch as he slides in makes you whine, and the seriousness of his gaze, a different Seungmin from a moment ago, makes you heat up even more. He’s patient as he pushes up, lifts his hips and rolls so gently—he gasps and moan with every movement. You watch the muscles on his stomach flex. The only light coming in reflects the warm shimmer of his skin, and it’s hypnotizing as he moves for you.
Your head falls back and you squeeze your eyes shut, because you have to look away. The look on his face, and his soft moans—the sound of him sliding in and out of you is too much, and already feel like you could come for him if you let yourself.
“You are…my good girl, so wet for me,” he coos and moans, sucks his teeth. Seungmin grips again and brings you down until you’re skin to skin, slides and rolls your hips against the slick mixture of sweat and arousal pouring from you. “How many times you gonna come for me?”
The pressure makes you gasp, and you grab for him to hold yourself up and get some relief. But Seungmin loves watching you take it all, so you gently bring yourself back down and let all of him in—up and down, over and over. You can feel yourself gushing around him; hot and wet, running down your shaking thighs, covering him and squelching so obscenely with each pump.
mmm…minnie
You can’t hold yourself back. The moans, he likes those…he loves it when you’re loud for him. But you have so much brimming inside of you, and it’s not just the cries of your first orgasm.
tell me baby
min...ah fuck…fuck
The bed shakes as you bounce on him.
you feel so good
Seungmin whispers and holds you so tight as you move. When you finally look down at him, his eyes are dark, fluttering open and closed. His mouth hangs open as if he can’t bear to keep any of his moans inside, and he doesn’t, and it sounds like he’s finding the perfect pitch for you as he does it. He touches and rubs your swollen clit in gentle circles, careful not to disturb the perfect rhythm you both created.
min…seungmm ah
You stutter. You can’t get it out around the stars popping up in your vision.
minnie god please I’m gonna come
He bites down on his lip and smiles, keeps his pace, swipes his thumb slowly up and down until you shake and scream for him. It’s too much and you want to fall back and cry from the pleasure. But he doesn’t stop touching you, and when you get your palms flat on the bed, finally, he thrusts his hips up and fills you again. Seungmin comes hard as you squeeze tight around him. But he doesn’t stop.
I cant…no more minnie no not yet
a little more… good girl
He keeps touching, and you keep coming for him. It feels like he slows himself as you reach for his hand, lightens his touch, but you’re gone—you’re floating, and you feel like you can’t come down from your high yet. But he brings you down, eventually. Seungmin grabs you, whispers something under his breath, and pulls you close until he slides out.
You groan, whine his name as you place wet kisses on his sweaty chest. Seungmin is catching his breath, but his hands don’t leave you—they slide up and down your back, slow and rough, almost lovingly.
“Minnie?” You sigh, “Min…I—”
He sushes you and runs his fingertips across your skin, “relax, catch your breath…and then we can go again.” Seungmin is insatiable when he’s here.
You kiss back up his chest and into the dip of his throat, “we go again…and then we can shower, get another drink. Yeah?”
“Ah, you wanna shower? Already worn out, huh?”
The lightness in his voice is obvious, but he likes to poke and tease whenever he gets a chance.
“No, no I’m okay”
“You’re usually good for three or four rounds…or five”
As much as you want to keep kissing him, you roll off and onto your back, and Seungmin grumbles when your weight is suddenly gone.
“I just wanna shower with you, but we don’t have to…” you try not to sound too defeated. He didn’t even say no yet.
“Oh, shower together? We’ve never done that before.”
No, you don’t do much together aside from this. Making a mess of your bed, drinking too much, having breakfast before he leaves…if you’re lucky. You keep wondering if he ever lays in bed needing a little bit more. Wanting him to match your feelings doesn’t seem like it should be so unattainable, until he’s next to you, humming sweetly and running a lazy finger over some delicate part of your body. He seems satisfied, and when he leaves in the morning, you’ll be empty again.
“No, we haven’t”
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ
The cold water continues to beat down on his face and his chest, and you watch him closely from your spot, towel wrapped tightly around you. You got a little too cold, but he’s enjoying himself and he’s not coming out. Fresh sweat is already starting to form and run down your chest when he finally turns the water off, but he stands there for a few moments and drips.
“I feel much better”
He walks out towel-less and runs his hands through his dark, wet hair, and most of it stays slicked back so you can see his eyes. You can’t decide what part of him to watch; his hair dripping onto his broad shoulders, the beads of water rolling down his chest and stomach, or his soft cock swaying between his thighs, taunting you. Your eyes venture up and down, very obviously.
“You look as if you can’t touch”
“I like looking at you”
You catch a smile before he throws a towel over his head. “Cute.”
“I do…you’re more than just a good fuck”
“You getting all romantic on me?”
He’s poking fun again, but you still feel your stomach drop. Seungmin doesn’t want to take things seriously if he doesn’t have to, because he already has plenty of serious in his life.
𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ
Your fingertips slide easily over his chest, down past his belly button, and just above where his towel still rests. Seungmin is already damp with sweat when you finally get him back to bed, and the salty taste of his skin on your lips is stronger than any alcohol you’ve had tonight. He laughs under his breath when you keep going back for more, kissing softly, dragging your tongue and teeth across him.
Seungmin squirms a little against the fresh sheets. “Mm, that tickles”
“I’m gonna find every last ticklish spot on you tonight”
“That sounds mean, not romantic”
“Which do you prefer? Mean…or romantic?” Your heart races when you look up, but it takes a few seconds before he feels your eyes on him. No answer…but you can feel his breathing change.
“Start up here." His fingers drag across the curve of his neck, and you kiss your way back up until you can feel his pulse beneath your lips. A bite gets a laugh out of him, and he squirms again.
“That’s a good start,” you whisper in his ear, and the feeling brings his shoulders up as he shivers. “Two spots there.”
Seungmin pulls you against him and holds tight, “mean.”
“I don’t wanna be mean,” you wiggle free and work your way down, moving your kisses across his chest—lift his arm and kiss his soft inner bicep. Seungmin just sighs contentedly as you work your way down his side.
The room is so quiet. It’s just his steady breaths and the sound of your lips releasing from him, and the occasional giggle when you find a good spot. When his palm spreads over you, you jump. Seungmin is running his hand across your back again, just like before.
“Okay, romantic…”
He groans when you pull at the towel and reach his hip, then his thigh.
“Mean again”
Your lips graze over his growing cock and kiss the other thigh.
“Very mean”
“You like it,” you laugh and peak up at him, “you love being teased.”
“You would know”
Another groan as you grip his cock, run your tongue up his length, and close your mouth around his head. He stares intensely, and you stare right back as you suck and lick the pre-cum leaking from him.
“You know what I like”
Seungmin whines when you let go and kiss again, but it turns into a laugh, because he does like being teased.
“Are you having fun down there?” His voice shakes a little.
You are. He groans out in pleasure when you squeeze his calf muscle as hard as you can, and you keep doing it with both hands. Seungmin arches his back, runs fingers running through his hair, and you think you see a little smile—but when you kiss the top of his knee, his body relaxes, and his legs slowly fall back onto the bed. His sigh is a little dramatic.
“What’s wrong?” You stop, lift yourself, look up at him. You can feel something in that sigh. “Seungmin?”
“Nothing…uh,” he puffs his cheeks and pulls himself further up the bed, so now…you feel a little abandoned in your spot. You reach for your shirt at the bottom of the bed and think about putting it on, but decide to just get up and get a fresh one. His eyes follow as you dig for something comfortable, and as soon as the shirt is pulled over your head… “come back.”
“I need a drink”
The bed creaks as he jumps to his feet and follows you, which you weren’t expecting, but he probably needs a drink, too—you’re not preparing for some big revelation in the kitchen, and you can act distant, too, just like him...you just don’t want to. Seungmin only bothers to throw his briefs on, and you catch a quick glance of his dick getting softer and softer as you pull out a bottle of water for you, and one for him.
“What’s wrong?” He asks, stupidly. But not really—it just sounds stupid to you right at this moment. Seungmin might have a vague idea of what’s going on in your head, but you’ve done a pretty good job of hiding it before tonight.
“You moved away from me, I should be asking you that...so…what’s wrong?” It takes all of your energy to sound casual. Inside, you feel like screaming.
His eyes grow, and they look around the room like he needs to find a quick exit, but he just folds his arms over his chest, scrunches up his face, and sighs again. “It just got, I don’t know…I don’t know how to say it without sounding like an ass.”
“Just say it,” you turn your back to him, though, because you can’t look at his pretty face. Seungmin is intense, whether he means to be or not, and his eyes burn right through you.
“I can’t”
“Did you really miss me?” The cold water hitting your stomach makes you feel sick. The question does, too, because now you have to hear his answer. “Don’t answer that.”
“Fuck”
He turns and walks toward the bedroom, but changes his mind immediately and stops, turns, huffs. “Fuck,” this time a little softer, and with a little more confusion behind it. “I’m so stupid.”
There is no sound of him stomping away again—he’s just standing there, and you’re stuck in your spot. “You’re not stupid, you just don’t, uhm…” the tightness in your throat makes your voice crack, but you manage to hold everything back.
“Don’t what?”
“You don’t know how you make me feel”
Seungmin is thinking very loudly, but he’s quiet for a few more beats, until… “how I make you feel?” The emphasis on his you is the loudest he’s said anything all night. Now you finally turn to look at him, and he’s still standing tall with his arms crossed over his chest, but his face has softened and his eyes look even more dark and wet than usual. He looks like a kicked puppy. He takes a cautious step forward, “yeah, I really missed you. I wanted to call you a few nights ago to tell you, but I never had enough time alone.”
“You never call me”
He turns and heads for the bedroom before you even finish. When you get there he’s on the far side of the bed, feet on the floor, back flat on the mattress, arms splayed out above his head.
“Min?”
“Yeah?”
You walk in quietly, sit gently, just close enough to reach out and touch his fingers. His curl around yours as soon as he feels your touch. But neither of you say a word—not for several minutes, and you watch his eyes close…his breathing steadies in a way that makes him look like he’s asleep.
“I’m sorry if I was being too much,” you finally break the silence, because you can’t take it anymore. “It’s hard not to be sometimes.”
A smile tugs at Seungmin’s lips.
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floralcyanide · 4 months ago
Text
― ᴅᴇᴀʀ ᴊᴀᴠɪ
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After realizing you've had enough of being single, you decide to branch out further into your romantic life on a whim. What you don't expect is to meet someone as a result. or ; In which you converse in letters and phone calls with Javi Rivera, an active-duty military man.
part two
↝ pairing: Javier "Javi" Rivera / Fem!Reader
↝ warnings: long distance, reader has anxiety, kinda slow burn?, kissing, mentions of death
↝ word count: 5.3k
↝ author's note: I enjoyed writing this so much. this is the first time I've written something this long in a while. I hope ya'll enjoy! there will definitely be a part two and it's gonna be spicy so be prepared. (;
masterlist ⋇ divider credit: @cafekitsune
this fic has been cross posted to ao3.
ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ
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Your dating life has reached a new low. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge- none of them work for you despite your incessant attempts. It’s so bad that your friends have set you up on blind dates, all of which fail or turn into what people like to call situationships. You end up wasting your time on someone thinking it’s going great, and then suddenly, it ends in a fiery crash or sometimes plain old rejection. You’re so tired of dating. Even your university campus has no luck in the dating pool. But then, one night (after drinking too much box wine and scrolling through dating apps begrudgingly), your best friend has an idea.
“Have you ever like, dated long distance?” they ask, swirling their wine around their glass.
“Not really,” you shrug, taking a sip from yours, “I feel like it’d be harder than dating someone close by, which is already a lot.”
“True,” they sigh, “Ooh! Maybe use one of those pen pal apps?” 
“Pen pal apps?” you raise an eyebrow, locking your phone before tossing it on the couch in disgust, “What am I, nine years old?”
Your best friend rolls their eyes, “It’s not something just kids do, you know. A lot of people make genuine connections through letters. It’s a lot better than Tinder or some shitty dating app at this point. You may as well try.”
“I guess you’re right,” you glance down at your phone, “I’m running out of options here.”
After Googling and scrolling through search results, you hum, “Maybe I could do one of the military pen pal programs. That seems promising.”
“Yes! Get you a military man!” your best friend squeals, and you can’t help the giddy smile that grows on your lips.
“Okay, I’ll do it,” you say, and your best friend shakes your shoulder excitedly, “But if it doesn’t work out, I’m just going to die alone, I guess. At this point, it’s less stressful.”
Your best friend snorts, “If we make it to thirty and we’re both still single, we could get married.”
“I love you, but if I had to spend the rest of my life with you, I’d probably go insane.”
“You have some killer jokes, kid. You’re already stuck with me, so sorry.”
That following day, you do a deep dive into all things pen-palling. You decide to sit down at your desk and type up a letter, but it feels too wrong like it needs to be handwritten instead. So, you move your laptop aside, pull out some notebook paper and a pencil, and start your first letter. Except, you aren’t sure what to say first. Then, when you start writing, your handwriting annoys you, and after that, you think your tone is off. You end up scrapping half a tree by the time you start actually writing a decent letter. You introduce yourself and state where you’re from, explaining you’re in college and what you wish to do after graduating. You don’t dive into too much detail but give enough away so your possible pen pal has something to respond to. You also sprinkle in some questions for them to answer as well. You reread your letter, finally satisfied with what you’ve written, before folding it and sliding it into an envelope. You go back to your phone to see where to send the letter, writing down the location along with your name and address on the front.
Life goes on for a little while, and you actually forget you sent a letter to some random person in the military until one day, your best friend is sifting through the mail you tossed onto your counter.
“Uhh, what’s this?” they call out from the kitchen as you surf through Netflix in the living room.
“What’s what?”
“You got a letter from some dude named Javier?” your best friend says it as more of a question than a statement.
You scrunch up your nose and eyebrows in confusion before finally settling on a show you and your best friend have seen a million times already, walking into the kitchen.
“Let me see.”
Your best friend hands over the letter, and you scan the envelope carefully. Javier Rivera. It doesn’t sound familiar to you, but then you notice where the letter is from.
“Oh shit,” you flip the envelope over and tear it open.
“What is it?”
“It’s the pen pal thing!” you say, voice raised in shock, “I didn’t think someone would actually respond.”
“Oh yeah,” your best friend nods, “I forgot about that. I figured you chickened out on it because you never mentioned it again.”
“I didn’t chicken out,” you trail off, taking in the meticulous handwriting of the letter.
Dearest Pen Pal,
Thank you for sending your letter. I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much it meant to me to receive it. I’m Javier, but everyone calls me Javi. I’m the same age as you and have been to college myself. I joined the military for personal reasons, but I haven’t regretted it yet. Your career path seems interesting, and I hope you succeed in the rest of your studies. 
Your best friend hovers over your shoulder, also reading the letter.
“He seems cute,” your best friend giggles.
Javi answers some of your random questions and goes on to say he anticipates your next letter. He also says that if you’d like, he’d send a photo of himself next time. Your best friend has a field day with that.
“Oh my gosh! What if he’s hot?” they gasp.
“Who knows? I wouldn’t care if he wasn’t, anyway. It’s cool to talk to someone I’ve never met over letters.”
“True. But bonus points if he is hot.”
You scoff as you fold the letter up and put it back in the envelope.
When your best friend leaves later on, you immediately bolt to your desk and write your letter. 
Dear Javi,
I’m glad my letter found you well. Thanks for the hope in me, I definitely need it. College is fun, but it’s super exhausting. I don’t think I asked in my last letter, but where are you from? Also, what did you major in while in school? I’d love to see what you look like and put a face to your name. What military branch are you in, and what do you want to do with your experience when you’re back in the States? Sorry for all the questions again! I’m just super curious about things. If this letter reaches you sooner than later this time around, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving.
You wrap up your letter, albeit a little shorter than the last one, and slip it into your mailbox ASAP. This time, you won’t forget you sent it.
When the following letter arrives, it’s early December. You hastily remove your scarf, coat, and wet snow boots at your front door before opening the letter immediately. When you pull the letter from the envelope, a photo falls onto the floor. You pick it up, and it’s a small picture of who you assume is Javi, all decked out in his military uniform. Okay, your best friend was right on the money, he is pretty cute.
Dearest Pen Pal,
I had a decent Thanksgiving. I hope yours was better than mine! I’m from Miami, Florida. I went to school in Muskogee, Oklahoma, and while I was there, I studied weather phenomena and chased storms. It was a whole thing, but I’ll get into that later. And I don’t mind all the questions. I think it’ll be fun getting to know each other. 
Javi explains what branch he’s in and also admits he doesn’t know what he’s going to do after the military as of yet. He talks about his Thanksgiving and wishes you a Merry Christmas if he doesn’t get to communicate with you before then. You decide to send a photo of yourself back to him, digging out your Polaroid camera when you go to your bedroom to respond to his letter. You touch up your makeup a little and make sure your hair isn’t absolutely a mess before taking a photo. Sitting down to write your letter, you aren’t sure how to react to the photo Javi sent. You don’t want to be weird, but you also want him to know that you think he’s attractive. 
Dear Javi,
I love the photo you sent, and you look pretty dapper in your uniform. I’m sending a picture of myself, too. Chasing storms sounds very interesting. Please tell me more about that! 
You rattle off some things you have done while in school, talking about the places you have traveled to over the years and the people you’ve met. You gush about your best friend, especially. 
So far, you’re probably the most intriguing person I’ve talked to, Javi. Not everyone can say they’re a storm chaser, you add. 
You polish off your letter, which ends up being two pages long (three if you count the back on the first page, too.) You neatly fold up the paper and slide it into an envelope. You don’t expect a reply until New Year because of the amount of mail that will be coming in and out of the base. Javi is stationed on the other side of the country from you and may be moved out of the country if needed. 
As you expected, it isn’t until a month and a half later that you receive a letter from Javi again. It’s a long letter- a few pages total this time. The letter is in a Christmas card, and it’s signed by Javi. You immediately hang the card on your refrigerator door so you can look at it daily. He talks about how his holidays went, how all the guys on his base called home or were able to FaceTime their family. Javi asks how your holidays have gone and showers you with compliments over the photo you sent him. You can’t help but feel your stomach flutter at his words. 
Over the next few months, you and Javi write back and forth diligently. You know just about everything about Javi, and he knows almost everything about you. You feel like there’s something he’s keeping from you, possibly the storm chasing he had brought up, but you don’t push it. He will tell you when he’s ready. And there’s also some stuff about your life you’d rather wait to explain as well. In your last letter, you wrote your email and phone number so that Javi can communicate with you in other ways. You’re able to guess how long it takes the letters to get to Javi, so around the time you expect them to get to him, you’re giddy. You anxiously await a phone call or email any day now.
It’s August when your phone rings with a call from an unknown number. You have had such a long day- school for several hours, then work immediately after in the evening. You can’t help but wonder who could be calling at 9 pm. You make yourself comfy on the couch with your favorite beverage before answering the phone.
“Hello?” 
“Hi, it’s Javi. Is this the right number?”
You nearly choke on your sip of drink, “Oh shit. Hi! Yes, this is the right number!”
Javi laughs from the other end, and you decide you want to hear that laugh again so badly. 
“Sorry I’m calling so late over there. The phone was surprisingly available, and I got your letter today saying I could call. So I did,” Javi said.
“It’s okay,” you shrug, even though he can’t see, “I just got home from work, actually. So perfect timing.”
“Great. How was your day?”
The two of you spend about an hour on the phone, relishing having an actual conversation in real time.
“I’m so glad to finally hear your voice,” Javi says after a natural pause in conversation, “That’s not too cheesy, right?”
You snort, “It kind of is, but it’s cute. I’m glad to hear your voice, too.”
After another ten minutes, Javi sadly admits that he has to hang up since it’s almost dinner time where he is. 
“We should talk again sometime if you’re able to,” you smile, biting at your fingernail nervously.
You hope he calls again, but letters will always suffice just fine.
“I’ll try my best. Maybe sometime next week?”
“Sounds like a plan,” you say, pulling the phone away from your ear so you can silently kick your feet in excitement.
“Alright, then. Talk to you later,” Javi says.
“See ya,” you grin, and the call concludes.
It isn’t the following week that he calls, but the week after that. Javi discloses that he sent a surprise in the letter he just mailed. He also slips up and says it’s almost his birthday, and you immediately have an idea. After your long conversation on the phone, asking some questions here and there about certain things he likes that you didn’t already know before, you decide to send Javi a package.
You send a postcard from your home state, some non-perishable snacks, socks that were his favorite color that he could wear when not on base, notebooks he could write letters in, some fun pens to go with the notebooks, and a birthday card. After signing it, you leave a lip print on the card just to test the waters. You’ve come to really like Javi over the last year, and you wonder if he likes you back. Sometimes, he’ll be flirty in letters or over the phone, but nothing too crazy. Nothing that gives you alarm bells that he likes you in the way that you like him. So, you’re taking a leap of faith. 
A few weeks after sending the package, you get Javi's phone call while doing some class work at your desk. You spin around in the chair aimlessly as you answer the phone.
“A kiss, huh? That’s cute.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. Just a little something to remind you of me,” you say.
“It’s definitely not nothing,” Javi teases, “I think you want to kiss me.”
 Your ears grow hot at the sound of Javi’s voice deepening in playfulness.
“And so what if I do? There’s nothing you can do about it,” you bite back with just as much playfulness.
“Are you sure about that?” Javi says, a knowing lilt in his voice.
“What do you mean?” you furrow your eyebrows, stopping the chair from spinning entirely so you can focus.
“I’m most likely coming home for Christmas this year, but I still have to work out some stuff,” Javi says, an edge of excitement in his voice, “I’d like to possibly see you.”
“Oh,” you say, your voice squeaking, “Really? You want to see me?”
“Of course I wanna see you,” Javi chuckles, “We’ve been corresponding for a while. I’d like to finally see you in person.”
You suddenly feel like you’re going to throw up, but in a good way. You’re sick with nervous excitement. 
“O-okay,” you grin, “I’ll be finished with the semester at the beginning of December. Depending on when and where you want to meet, I can ask off from work.”
Javi has family not too far from where you live, and he wants to stop and see, so the two of you agree to meet in a city that’s basically halfway. December 20th is the day you’re supposed to meet Javi after a year of conversing through letters and over the phone. Who would have thought, right? That some random idea from your best friend would have led you here? Speaking of which, your best friend is beside themselves with excitement just like you. You called them immediately after hanging up with Javi.
“When you get married, make sure to thank me!” they say half-jokingly.
“Shut up,” you roll your eyes, trying to stifle a grin, “What if we don’t like each other when we meet, though? What if it’s awkward? What if we don’t have anything to talk about? What if-”
“Hush!” your best friend shushes you, “It will go fine. It will go great. In fact, you’re going to have a splendid time.”
“I guess you’re right,” you sigh, eyeballing the photo of Javi you have pinned to your corkboard over your desk.
“I’m always right,” your best friend giggles.
It’s now the end of your semester, and you’re beyond excited for a few reasons. In a week, you meet Javi, and this coming Spring semester is your last. So, for the time being, you’ll be finished with college. You come home from your final exam and start making a packing list. You’re staying at a hotel in the city where you’re meeting Javi for a day or two, depending on how things go. You have so much to do before going on the mini trip that if you didn’t have a list planned out for everything, your head would surely fly off your shoulders. You have to wrap gifts for your friends and family, pack your bag, clean your apartment, and put up decorations for the party you and your best friend are throwing for Christmas. 
Deciding to surprise Javi, you get him a gift for Christmas. It’s a wool sweater you think will fit nicely and a beautiful, deep color that you figure will compliment his skin tone. You carefully put the sweater in a robe box, taping the sides shut and signing your name on the tag before putting it under the Christmas tree. You managed to put up the large tree by your lonesome and didn’t kill yourself doing it, so you considered it a win. After wrapping a few more gifts and stuffing them under your tree, you check the time. It’s a little past dinnertime, and you decide it’s probably best to finally pack your bag for tomorrow. 
A melatonin gummy is definitely in your future so you can get some sleep, or else you’ll toss and turn in an anxious fit all night. After finishing up packing as lightly as you can muster, you settle into bed. When you wake in the morning, you get a text from an unknown number, which you assume is from Javi’s cell, letting you know he is getting on his flight. You almost quite literally jump out of bed before hitting the shower and getting ready. You take your time fixing your hair and makeup, picking out a cute but comfortable outfit for your 2-hour drive. 
After getting your belongings and the gift inside your car, you shoot your best friend a text letting them know you’re leaving your apartment and that you’ll text when you get to the airport. Taking a few deep breaths, you crank your car and head off. You are deep in your thoughts the entire ride, not evening singing along to your music most of the time. What if Javi decides he isn’t impressed by what he sees? You try to push away your anxiety as you near the airport. Finding parking after circling around for a while, you hurry to grab the gift and go inside. It’s hectic, considering it’s five days until Christmas, but you get through TSA without a hitch. You find the coffee shop where you and Javi agreed to meet and sit at a table in the corner. You scroll through social media, trying not to panic. You text back and forth with your best friend for a while until you receive a message from Javi saying he’s landed. Suddenly, an icy, numbing nervousness runs through your veins. You take a deep breath and tell yourself it will be okay, and everything will be fine. 
You decide to meet Javi at his gate and return to the coffee shop. Getting up from your seat, you shake yourself off a little before walking to the gate where Javi is to exit his flight. You aimlessly check your phone every five minutes out of anxiety. People start to leave from the corridor, dragging their carry-ons with them. Suddenly, you spot Javi walking out with the crowd, his face turned downward at his phone. When he looks up, he has to do a double-take when he sees you. You can’t help the grin that plasters your face.
“Hi,” Javi grins back as he approaches you, taking in your appearance fully for the first time, “Is it okay if I hug you?”
“You don't have to ask, silly,” you roll your eyes playfully, setting the gift by your feet before allowing Javi to pull you into him.
You wrap your arms around him, your nose buried in his shoulder. He’s dressed in his uniform, much to your delight, meaning you get to see how handsome he looks in person. 
“Don’t tell me that’s for me,” Javi gives you a jokingly dissatisfied look when he pulls away from you, his eyes darting to the gift beside you. 
“Would you kill me if it was?” you say, picking it up and handing it to him.
“Nah,” Javi waves you off, leaning down to dig in his carry-on for something, “Besides, I got you something, too.”
“Javi,” you drag out his name in annoyance, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“Of course I did. It’s Christmas,” Javi smiles, secretly enjoying how you say his name in person.
You both go to baggage claim and the coffee shop before opening your gifts. You and Javi match each others’ stride, your hands accidentally brushing against one another a few times. Finally, Javi decides to throw caution to the wind and grabs your hand, sliding his fingers between yours. You glance down before smiling at him, trying to hide how giddy you are from the simple gesture. When you arrive at the coffee shop, you sit in the same corner you were previously in and settle in your seats.
“So,” Javi slides his gift over to you, pulling his toward him, “What’d you get me?”
“Why don’t you open it and see?” you lean over the table in wait, your smile from earlier still not quite leaving your lips.
“That I will do,” Javi says, carefully opening his gift.
“This is a lovely color,” he pulls the sweater out and fully takes it in, “Very soft. You did a great job because I love sweaters.”
“I’m glad you love it,” you sink into your seat with relief.
“Now, open yours,” Javi pushes your gift in your direction with a single finger. 
“Is it going to explode in my face?” you joke as you pull the wrapping off.
“I swear it won’t,” Javi laughs.
You open the box to reveal a beautiful necklace with your birthstone dangling from the chain. 
“This looks expensive, Javi. Please tell me you didn’t spend an arm and a leg on this,” you gasp.
“No promises,” Javi shrugs, getting up from his seat and walking behind you, holding out a hand for the necklace, “May I?”
You gently place the jewelry into his palm, lifting your hair so Javi can put the necklace around your neck. His fingers brush your skin lightly as he clasps the chain successfully, “There we go.”
Javi sits and admires how the necklace falls onto your collarbone with a glimmer in his eyes, “Looks beautiful on you.”
You’re nearly this close to being on the floor, curled into an inconsolable ball. Instead of doing that, you cover your face in embarrassment. 
“Gosh, thank you for the gift, Javi,” you move your hands from your face, “I wasn’t expecting something so stunning. I would’ve gotten you something slightly better if I had known.”
“You can’t sit here and tell me this wool sweater wasn’t pricey enough. It’s okay, you know. Besides, I like giving gifts I know someone will love; the price doesn’t matter.”
You sigh, shaking your head with a smile and resting your chin on your fist, “Whatever you say, Javi.”
Javi mimics your position but reaches his other hand out to wrap it around your wrist gently, “I love it when you say my name.”
You stare at each other momentarily, just taking each other in. It had been a year of wondering what Javi was like in person- how tall he was, how he smelled, how he carried himself. You realize he has a million freckles on his face that you never noticed in the photos he sent. Javi brushes his thumb over your pulse point, and you’re close to losing your composure. You’re both so wrapped up in drinking each other in that you nearly jump out of your skin when the barista calls someone’s name for their order.
You compose yourself, but Javi lightly chuckles at your facial expression.
“I’m super awkward sometimes, but you know that already,” you try to joke about the situation instead of dying of shyness. 
“It’s okay, I think it’s cute.”
“You’re going to make me turn into a puddle if you don’t stop,” you cover your face again, the tips of your ears burning.
Javi just laughs again. You realize his laugh is better in person than over the phone.
Over your order of coffee and iced tea, you and Javi decide to have a proper dinner later on in the day. Both of you are pretty tired and would appreciate refreshing yourselves at your respective hotels first. You hold hands again while exiting the airport and offer Javi a ride to where he’s staying.
“It’s just a walk down the block. I’ll be fine.”
“But it’s cold,” you frown.
“I’ll live, I promise.” Javi pulls your head to his chest before planting a kiss on the top of it.
Your body grows warm at the endearing gesture, “See you later?’
“See you later,” Javi smiles before making his way out of the parking garage.
You immediately call your best friend when you get in the car and discuss how the initial meeting went while on your way to the hotel.
“Did you kiss?!” they squeal.
“Not yet,” you say, “I don’t expect anything to happen today. We held hands, though.”
“Spicy!” your best friend says, “Next thing you know, you’ll be having kids.”
“Will you ever be quiet?” you jokingly ask your best friend.
You take a well-needed nap after checking into the hotel, setting an alarm for an hour from the time you laid down. When you wake up, you notice it’s snowing outside. The place Javi wants to take you is a few blocks away from his and your hotels, and you figure you’ll enjoy the snow during your walk.
You fix your makeup a little and add some final touches here and there to your face and hair before deciding on one of the skirts you brought. A thick sweater and some tights are thrown with it, and you’re ready to go. Javi shoots you a message asking if you’re ready, and you respond quickly before leaving the hotel. The evening is pleasant, with the snow falling softly for the entire duration of your walk. When you arrive at the restaurant, Javi is waiting for you at the door, as handsome as ever in some black slacks, a dress shirt, and a heavy petticoat draped over his shoulders. He wraps an arm around you as you both enter the restaurant, where you’re immediately whisked away to a table with a nice view. Wine is ordered, and you take a moment to drink Javi in as he sits across from you. You nearly have to pinch yourself to believe this is real and actually happening.
“So,” you lean forward, hand tucked under your chin, “You never told me about your endeavors while in college. I’ve been dying to know about that storm chasing you brought up but never knew when to ask.”
Javi smiles, “Yes, it was a very wild time in my life. I don’t talk about it often. What did you want to know?”
“Why did you do it? Just curious.”
“Well, Javi clears his throat, “It was actually my best friend Kate’s idea. She had this big project that required extensive information about storms and tornadoes in particular.”
“Gotcha,” you lean back in your chair, “Ever see any scary storms?”
“We saw a few, but the scariest one was a five on the Fujita scale. It didn’t end very well for us,” Javi casts his eyes down.
“You don’t have to keep talking about it if you don’t want to,” you reach out your hand to put on top of Javi’s, sensing the topic is touchy.
“No, it’s something you need to know about me. So I’ll tell you,” he explains, “It was me, Kate, and three of our other friends, Addy, Praveen, and Jeb, working on the project together. We didn’t anticipate the tornado to be as strong as it got, and everyone but Kate and I ended up dying as a result of being caught in the storm.”
“I’m so sorry, Javi. That sounds scary and awful. I’m glad you made it through that,” you frown, and Javi meets your eyes for a moment.
“Sometimes I wonder why I’m one of the ones who survived. It bothered me a lot, so much that I decided to drop out of college and go into the military. I needed some stability in my life after that.”
“I understand,” you say, “We can talk about something else if you’d like. I know this is probably hard for you to think about.”
The rest of the evening is spent laughing over stories of Javi and his late friends and the ones he’s made in the military. You tell him wild stories of you and your best friend, some of which he couldn’t believe. After a few too many glasses of wine, the two of you decide to call it a night. 
“I had a wonderful time,” you say as Javi hooks your arm with his, and the two of you leave the restaurant.
It’s still snowing lightly, and the temperature has dropped significantly. You pull your coat closer to your chest. Javi notices and opts to wrap his arm around you, pulling you into his side to warm you. 
“I had a great time, too,” Javi grins. 
He walks you to your hotel, and you thank him for dinner. 
“Heading out in the morning?” you ask as the two of you stand outside the hotel entrance.
“Yes,” Javi says, his hands shoved into his coat pockets, “I’m seeing my aunt and uncle and then heading to Miami for my parents and sister.”
“That’s good,” you nod, “I am having a Christmas party with some friends and family in a  few days, and I’m looking forward to it.”
“Sounds fun,” Javi says, and you notice the two of you don’t really want to depart quite yet, but you must.
“You should probably get back. It’s getting cold and late,” you nudge Javi’s arm with yours.
“Yeah, I should,” he trails off, his eyes not leaving yours.
For a moment, you stare into Javi’s eyes, taking in their color and the length of his eyelashes. Before you realize it, you’re both leaning in. Javi slides his hand up your neck to cup your face, his skin warm despite the freezing air. He guides your face to his, his eyes fluttering shut as he gently presses his lips to yours. Your eyes close, too, and you allow Javi to take control of the kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. When it’s time for air, you both pull away.
“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” Javi whispers, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.
“Same here,” you say, playing with the curls at the nape of Javi’s neck.
“I should get going,” Javi frowns, “But I will definitely keep in touch the best I can over the next few days.”
“Okay,” you say, “Enjoy your Christmas.”
Javi begins to walk away, and you turn to go inside your hotel. But then Javi pauses, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.
“Wait, what are you doing New Year's Eve?” he asks, and you can’t help the grin that sneaks up on your face.
“Depends. What are you doing?”
“Anything with you.”
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irisintheafterglow · 6 months ago
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Hey there!
Saw your requests were open (if it isnt,just ignore this)
But i just love your satoru x reader and co parenting megumi????and i would KILL to see like, something bad happening to reader (like a mission going wrong,she passing out or getting sick or all) and boys just panicking cause satoru loves reader,and megumi sees her as his mother???
Sorry,im a sucker for hurt/comfort trope
Lots of love!!! you're amazing!
aww this is so cute, thank you for the request anon <3 wrote it as sick fic instead of injury since i,,,, have written like 3 things with that trope recently so let's do a fluffy sick fic instead lol. hope you like it :))
cw/tags: established relationship (pet names babe, baby, sweetheart), gn!reader, some explicit language, mention of eating
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"the kid thinks you're gonna die," your boyfriend says as he enters your room, setting a grocery bag on your desk and digging around for the bottle of orange juice. "you're starting to worry me too, honestly."
"i'm not gonna die, babe; i think it's just the flu," you groan, propping yourself on an elbow and attempting to sit up. you're unsuccessful, the throbbing in your head and the chills in your arms too overwhelming. you fall back against the pillow with a less-than-ceremonial thump. satoru crouches in front of you, eyebrows drawn and forehead wrinkled in concern. he pulls down his blindfold and you're met with the bright blue eyes you loved so much.
"yep. looks like you're dying soon," he declares with a curt nod and you scoff, a chuckle turning into an aggressive fit of coughing. satoru is lightning-quick, grabbing a new bottle of water and snapping off the cap before holding it up to your lips. "here, drink." you push his hands away, wordlessly insisting that you can drink on your own while still hacking relentlessly. "nuh-uh, just let me help you." with a frown, you let him tilt the bottle toward you and take a few careful sips. "you are frustratingly stubborn," he sighs.
"i have to be if i need to deal with you all the time," you joke hoarsely, sips of water becoming gulps.
"yeah, but you love me for it," he finishes and you agree with a shrug. "easy, there," he warns as you keep downing the water. "don't want you choking again."
"i'm fine, satoru."
"you've been working yourself too much, you know."
"hypocrite," you counter and he frowns, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. you were right, even though he didn't want to admit it. satoru was always the first one to say that someone was working too hard, just to take the burden for himself. it was a red flag, you said a few weeks ago over convenience store sushi; you also noted his 'concerningly inflated ego, lack of spatial awareness, and general disinterest in things that could be momentarily unpleasant.' you'd finished it, though, with a long-winded comment about how his red flags, in all their scarlet glory, made satoru himself. maybe it was just his melodrama, but he'd cut off his hand if it meant you were able to joke like that again.
"i'm serious. i think your body's shutting down because-"
"because i've been away too long, i know. i don't need a lecture right now, satoru." you swallow the last of the water and settle back onto your pillow, grumbling when you feel the side of your bed sink with your boyfriend's weight. "baby, you're gonna get sick, too."
"that means i get to take a day or two off," he points out, fitting his face into the divot between your shoulder and neck. despite your complaints, he throws off the comforter and replaces the blankets with his arms. "don't grrrr me, babe. you need to burn off your fever and i run warmer than any of these sheets."
"aren't i sweaty and stinky and yucky? how can you be touching me when i'm all gross?"
"you mean, how can i love on you right now when you're just being a human?"
"mhmm. you don't find it gross?"
"of course not, sweetheart," he reassures you with a kiss to your shoulder. "i'd be a real dickhead if i only loved you when you were feeling 100%."
"yeah, you're only half a dickhead for other reasons," you murmur into the pillowcase and he laughs, the sound reverberating against your back. before your eyes settle shut, you catch the door of your room opening and vaguely make out a messy head of black hair peeking around the corner. "megs?"
"oi, adults only," the other occupant of the bed threatens, pulling you closer and attempting to flip you to your other side to face him. you unbuckle satoru from around you, though, and manage to sit up. megumi pads carefully into the room, like you'd crumble into sand if his steps were too loud. "come in, i guess," your boyfriend says dramatically with a wave of his hand.
"satoru, i swear-"
"sorry, baby. shutting up." satoru flops back onto your bed and you reach out to megumi, who stares at your hand for a moment before rushing into your arms. "hey, megs. since you're here, you mind grabbing me a soda from the breakroom?"
"i thought you were shutting up, satoru," you remind him, voice poisonously sweet. he echoes your reminder in a mockingly high-pitched voice. "i'm gonna kick you out of my room if you don't stop, mister."
"you wouldn't dare," he gasps.
"oh, i would."
"yeah," he concedes. "you definitely would, but i love you for it." with satoru temporarily placated, you return your attention to the small child in your arms.
"you doing okay, megs?" he nods, eyes shut against your chest and holding you tight. "i'm not gonna die, buddy. i promise." you rub your hand up and down his back, combing your fingers through his hair when you're abruptly swung backward onto the bed. "jeez, satoru, what are you-"
"get the kid, it's nap time," he mumbles with finality, resecuring his body around yours and motioning for megumi to climb in. he does, and you drift off sandwiched between your boys, feeling a little lighter for the first time in days.
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lonelyharmonies · 1 year ago
Text
just friends
what happens when you wake up in someone else’s bed after getting drunk in a party?
pairing: jaehyun x fem reader type: fluff, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers au (or kinda), college au, word count: 22k warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive sometimes a/n.: hello friends!! this story here is my baby, the first full fic i've ever written 💚 3 years later i still love it as the first time i've posted it. i hope you enjoy it as much as i do. if you think you have read this story before, youprobably did, this is a repost. not very much edited so you might find some mistakes, i apologize!
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The sunlight peeking through the curtains meets your face and you wake up as soon as your cheeks get warm. You didn’t remember your bed being this comfortable. A foreign smell invades your nostrils but you don’t mind for a moment. The perfume had notes of lavender and it was sort of strong, but you didn’t mind, deciding to put your head further into the pillow, capturing more of that pleasant scent.
A few minutes later, you open your eyes and it takes a while for you to realize it isn’t your bedroom. Neither is your cousin’s. You have no idea where and why you are here. The room is small but cozy, way different from your own. You can see some heavy books on the shelves next to you and a box full of vinyl.
You turn your head to the right to find a naked back facing you. Analyzing the body proportions and the room you were in, you assumed it was a boy. 
What happened to you? Why were you sleeping with a stranger?
You tried to remember the events from last night.
“Come on, Y/N, it’s gonna be fun!” “I don’t like frat parties, Taeyong.” you repeat the same line “Plus, I am really tired. Do you know how many assignments I have due next week? And tutoring is killing. Some students really push my buttons.” “See? You are so stressed! A couple of beers will do you good.”
Then, you remembered the noise. A lot of noise. You see flashes from the previous night events: there were people dancing, Mark Lee spilling his drink on you, and a shirtless Yuta dancing on the top of the kitchen’s counter. The only thing that wasn’t clear on your mind was how you ended up in this room.
Your cousin was in front of you, clearly drunk. You knew he was a lightweight. He knew he was a lightweight. That was probably the reason why Taeyong would always try to find a way to drag you to the parties with him: to clean the mess he makes. “I can’t drive you back, pumpkin. I’m sorry,” He said, bringing his hands to cup his face, as a way to act cute, but spilling his drink on the floor in the process. “Well, I’m already aware of this. You don't even have a license.” You felt your head spinning. Taeyong smiles and focuses on something behind you “I’ll call an Uber. Or maybe I should just walk,” You fished your phone out of your pocket, but your cousin took it away from you. “No, no. Don’t go home now.” He waved at someone while you tried to get your phone back. “You should enjoy this party. How long haven’t you made out with someone?” “LEE TAEYONG!” You and Johnny, who had placed an arm on your shoulders, shouted at the same time. “and The Cousin!”  “Can she sleep here tonight, Johnny? She’ll sleep in my room” Taeyong asked and Johnny screamed “Sure” while you tried to scold the other boy. “Lee Taeyong, come back here. Who said I agreed-” you tried to grab your cousin’s arm but he deflected your touch and went straight to a group of girls.  “Hey, hey, Y/N. “ Johnny called your attention. “Relax.” He handed you a shot glass full of a transparent liquid “The night has just started.”
While you were trying to remember what happened the night before, the man that is lying beside you wakes up. Jaehyun turns around and lays his eyes on your figure. At first, he thought he was still dreaming, but the scream that left your mouth once you met his gaze made Jaehyun realize it wasn’t a dream.
You get so startled that you lean backward as Jaehyun tries to hold your arm to keep you in place.
 “Be careful, you’re gonna hurt-” 
You don’t finish listening to his sentence as your body hits the ground with a loud thud. If you were sleepy before, falling out of the bed made you feel completely awake. You knocked your head on the bedside table and groaned quite loudly.
“Good morning, Y/N.” He says from his bed, looking at your lying figure on the floor.
Now that you could see the stranger’s face, you just wished to go back to sleep. Dying was also a good option. Not even in your wildest dreams, you would imagine waking up next to Jeong Jaehyun after getting dead drunk at one of his fraternity’s parties. 
You met Jaehyun when your cousin dragged you to your first frat party two years ago. You were getting some drinks in the kitchen when you laid your eyes on him playing beer pong with Yuta. You didn’t know a guy could look so attractive just by drinking beer wearing an all-black outfit. Ever since, you admired him from afar, never failing to be awestruck by his nice features. You never got the courage to talk to Jaehyun, but it all changed when your cousin insisted that you should help his friend Johnny.
“He is just trying to learn a new language.”  Taeyong would blatantly answer every time you questioned his friend’s sudden interest in taking Spanish classes. At the time, you were working for the Language Center at your university, so the two boys were constantly pestering you to sign Johnny up for the Spanish course and they only stopped once you gave in. It didn’t take you long to find out the reason why Johnny was so persistent: Mrs. García, or Isabela García, the senior student that taught the course: Spanish for Speakers of Other Languages. She was very sweet, smart, and popular among everyone on Campus and, apparently, Johnny was trying to have his shot with her while getting extra credits.  Eventually, you became closer. Not only because of your shared class but because Taeyong was your mutual friend. It was after one of your classes that you formally met Jaehyun for the first time, six months after seeing him in that party for the first time. He was waiting outside, a tray with coffee in one hand and a paper bag in the other. “I can’t believe you thought it was a good idea to try to make a pickup line in Spanish.” you sighed loudly. “You can barely introduce yourself. Plus, she’s your teacher, keep it in your pants.” “Please, I was amaz- OH, whassup Jeffrey?!” Johnny spotted his friend waiting for him “This is my boring classmate Y/N. Y/N, this is Jaehyun.” “Hi, nice to meet you,” you said sheepishly, avoiding to look at his face. “Nice to meet you too.” “Today I said to Isabella that she was “La chica más Bella I’ve ever seen.” You know, Isabella and all-” “I don’t speak Spanish, Johnny.” the guy mumbled and you suppressed a smile. “- and even though I couldn’t say the whole sentence in Spanish, she smiled at me and said I was sweet. I bet she loved it.” “I clearly remember her disgusted face when she asked you to keep doing the exercise.” “You're lying to make me look bad.” “She wouldn’t need to lie, Hyung,” Jaehyun said, making you giggle.
After that meeting, you did talk to each other, but never alone. It was either at their fraternity parties or at lunch when he would join you, Johnny, and Taeyong. Now, you had slept in his bed and didn’t even remember how you ended up there. 
“I have no idea how I ended up on your bed. I am so, so sorry, Jaehyun.” you clumsily start standing up and finding your way to the door. “I-I swear I would never sleep with you.” 
You realize what you said and widened your eyes regretting your words. The boy, on the other hand, only chuckles and stays laid down on his bed, finding quite amusing your flustered and messy state.
“Ouch, it kinda hurts my pride” 
“I mean- I don’t mean like that. You are very attrac-” you stop yourself and shake your hand in front of your body “What I mean is, of course, I would sleep with- NO!” you stop, taking a deep breath. 
Why couldn’t you come up with a simple sentence? You decide to focus on the Mickey Mouse plushie on the top of his shelf and start again.
“This is so embarrassing! What I’m trying to say is-”
Jaehyun’s laughter stops you. He runs his hands through his fingers as he sits on his bed, with the comforter only covering his bottom parts, torso completely exposed.
“I think you mean that you wouldn’t take advantage of me.” 
“Yes! Yes. That’s exactly what I was trying to say.” you quickly agree, averting your gaze from his figure.
“I also have no idea how you ended up here.” Jaehyun states, grabbing a black t-shirt from the ground “but I’m sure nothing happened because I went to bed early last night. And alone.” he emphasizes the last part “Were you at the party?”
“Yeah,” you answered while looking at your feet and end up taking a glance at your stained shirt. 
The stain on your shirt makes you realize how fucked up you must look. You also smell terrible. Why was this happening to you? There were so many bedrooms in this house, why did you end up precisely in his?
“I had a few drinks last night…”
“A few?” he raises an eyebrow curiously.
“Maybe too many.” you scratch the back of your head and keep looking down.
Then, the awkward silence comes. You, standing there, in the middle of the room, like a statue in the middle of the room and Jaehyun a few steps away from you. It fazed you how he managed to look charming even after just waking up. 
“So, uh… The door…” he says motioning to the door behind you, snapping you back to reality.
“Oh, yes, sure. I’m sorry.” you turn back and open the door. 
Luck being on your side, the first thing you see as you get out of the room is your friend, Johnny, holding a puzzled look on his face.
“Isn’t it Jaehyun’s…”
“Yes.” 
You grumble and turn to your left, heading to the staircase, not giving Johnny enough time to make questions.
"Did you sleep together?” he asks Jaehyun loud enough for you to hear by the end of the hall.
“NO,” both of you say at the same time. 
Actually, you screamed from the top of the staircase and Jaehyun mumbled beside Johnny. “I think she’s not really interested.” he completes with a sarcastic note, chuckling.
“Why was she coming out of your room? How did that happen?” 
“Did you smell her clothes? She was probably dead drunk last night.”
By the time the boys reached the messy living room, you were already opening the front door.
“At least drink a cup of coffee” Johnny offers and you shake your head.
“Tell Taeyong I went back to the dorms,” you say, stepping outside and shutting the door as fast as you could. 
“Let me drive-” Johnny starts but you close the door before he could finish “you.”
The two boys head to the kitchen and start preparing their breakfast. Johnny places a cup of coffee in front of Jaehyun who smiles and silently thanks him. The next one to wake up is Yuta, who walked down the stairs inexplicably happy for someone who should have a hangover.
"Care to explain why this house is so noisy on a Saturday morning?” he calls the room’s attention to himself. “I hear too many voices.”
“There was a misunderstanding,” Jaehyun mumbles.
“What do you mean?” Yuta raised an eyebrow at the younger and Johnny giggled.
“Y/N woke up on Jaehyun’s bed this morning.” 
“What, Taeyong’s cousin?” he turns to Johnny who nods “She slept with you?” Yuta gaps at the younger boy “So she finally admitted she-”
“YUta” Johnny interrupts him “I was joking.”
“She was just really drunk and ended up in my room last night,” the youngest says, munching his cereal “When she got there I was already asleep. I didn’t spend a lot of time at the party last night. I have three projects to hand in this month. They are tiring me out.” 
“So, Y/N really slept with you?” Yuta asked again.
“In my room,“ Jaehyun corrects. “Well, if you excuse me, I’ll go to the gym.” he gives them a small smile and leaves the kitchen.
“Yuta, you almost said Y/N likes Jaehyun!” Johnny whispers-yells at Yuta.
“Well, it’s not like she knows how to hide her crush.”
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“So you’re telling me that you slept with Jeong Jaehyun?” your roommate asks after you finished telling her about the events of the previous night.
You sigh loudly and shove her hands from your hair. “Did you listen to what I said? I slept on his bed because I was drunk and probably thought I was entering Taeyong’s room.”
“Come back here, I didn’t finish drying your hair.” she pulls you back by your shoulders “It would have been nice if you had slept with him. I heard stories about Jaehyun…”
“You should stop gossiping around,” You roll your eyes.
“Don’t pull up this act, I know you love it when I spill all the tea for you,” she pulls your hair with unnecessary strength, making you groan “Some girls say he really knows how to use his tongue, you know…” she says, pointing down at your lower body and you hit her hand.
“I don’t wanna hear it,” you say in disgust. “Plus, I don’t know how so many people know how Jaehyun is in bed. He looks really reserved and quiet.“
“The quiet ones are the worst, my friend.” your roommate says before blowing air on your right ear, making you yank away from her.
It was midday when you decided to open your laptop and get some work done. You have three essays due to Thursday and you haven’t even started. It was now your third year and the pressure on your shoulders was getting heavier each day. You’re a good student, excellent grades, the professors love you, but after spending all those years studying communication, you still don’t know what you want to do with your life.
Taeyong always says that your problem is that you are too afraid to take the first step. Deep down, you know what you want, you’re just too afraid to pursue it.
Not even twenty minutes after starting your assignment, you hear a special ringtone and see your cousin’s face on your phone’s screen.
“I’ll stop calling you pumpkin and I’ll ask Sicheng if you can have his nickname,” Taeyong says as soon as you pick up the call.
“Who is Sicheng?” 
“Winwin” he replied and you hummed acknowledging. He was a Chinese exchange student who lived with your cousin last year.
“And why would I want to be called Winwin?”
“Because a little bird told me you managed to hook up with Jaehyun. That’s not even a regular win, you deserve a fucking Olympic gold medal for finally going for him.”
You sighed loudly and groaned at your cousin’s words. Did you really think they would keep quiet about this morning’s accident? All the gossips of the campus either start or finish in the damn frat house. They love gossiping. 
"I know your little bird is six feet tall and goes by Johnny,” you say in annoyance. “Couldn’t he keep his mouth shut?”
“It’s like I always say, Cousin,” you hear Johnny’s faint voice, apparently he was far from the microphone “Once the tea’s ready, we need to spill it. But in fact, no. It wasn’t me.” 
“First, I’m not your Cousin, Johnny,” you say, clearing your throat. “Second, you should spill your fucking tea correctly then,” you growl at him which makes both men laugh at the other end of the line. “We didn’t sleep together - I mean, we did sleep together but-”
“I KNEW IT! I told you I heard weird noises coming from the kitchen.” 
You hear a high pitched voice coming from your cousin’s side. You will kill Taeyong as soon as you get a chance.
“Taeyong, is this Donghyuck? That demon? How many people are listening to this phone call?” you lower your voice and feel your cheeks getting hot. Either from embarrassment or anger. (It was probably both).
“Only me, Johnny, Hyuck and Mark.” he simply states, making you huff in annoyance. ONLY four people discussing about your life.
 “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME, THEN?” you scream and hear a bang on your wall, warning you about the noise. “Sorry!” you scream again to apologize. “You said Mark is there? Hey, Mark!”
“Hi, Y/N. I’m still very sorry about your shirt. I promise to buy you a new one,” he says closer to the phone.
“It’s okay, sweetie. My roommate knows how to clean the stain.” 
“Why do you call Mark sweetie and call me a demon? Hyuckie is sad,” Donghyuck says, faking a cute voice.
“Cut the crap, demon. You don’t deserve my love and affection.” you say looking back at your open laptop, realizing you won’t be able to focus anymore “By the way, what does the noise have to do with me? It could have been literally anyone.”
“Well, I heard that you guys spent the whole night, you know… Having fun. Even on the kitchen counter,” the youngest says suggestively ,making you gasp.
“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HEARD FROM WHO? THAT’S A LIE”
“That’s why I called, we needed to confirm the story,” Taeyong says laughing at your reaction.
“STOP LAUGHING! THIS IS NOT FUN” you hear your dorm neighbor punching your wall again and you snap “I’M BEING DEFAMED, ABIGAIL. GIVE ME A BREAK.” you scream towards the wall she has just punched.
“Abigail should just buy earplugs. She gets irritated by any sound you make.” you hear your cousin mumbling.
“Don’t try to change the subject, Taeyong.” you warn him “I am seriously so mad at you. Especially you, Johnny. I’m sure Jaehyun explained the whole incident.”
“She’s really mad, isn’t she?” someone whispers and the rest of them giggle.
“I can hear you.”
“Yeah, Jaehyun told me you were drunk and ended up in his bed, but who knows what happened before the sun came out.” Johnny giggles.
“NOTHING happened, for your information. I didn’t have sex on the kitchen counter” and you make sure to quickly answer “OR on Jaehyun’s bed. I didn’t hook up with that man, please, stop getting on my nerves.”
“Sicheng can keep being Winwin, she’s still a loser.” you hear Donghyuck snickering at his joke.
“But why did you go to Jaehyun’s room, though?” Mark asks.
“My drunk-self probably thought it was Taeyong’s,” you answer and throw yourself on your bed.
The line stayed silent for some seconds, the boys were whispering something to themselves but you couldn’t understand anything they were saying.
“Hello?”
“So, dear cousin.” he has just started and you could already assume he was trying to hold back his laughter.
“Do you know your cousin’s bedroom is the first room on the right?” Johnny asks and you hum in response.
“Jaehyun hyung stays at the end of the hall, dude..." Mark continues.
“On the left,” Donghyuck adds.
“Are you insinuating I went there on purpose?” you ask them “I was drunk!”
“You know what they say, noona,” you hear Donghyuck’s “drunk actions are sober thoughts.”
“That’s not how it goes,” you mumble.
“We all know you like Jaehyun hyung.” you gasp at the youngest words. “It’s not like you make an effort to hide your crush on him. Even Yuta hyung knows it.”
“I promise I didn’t say anything to them,” Johnny says immediately
“Me neither.” Taeyong adds “But Hyuck made a good point, you’re not subtle.”
“Do you remember last Tuesday how she choked on her own saliva when Jaehyun offered her sour gummies?” Johnny added laughing.
“Stop mocking me.” you huffed. “Please, don’t make a big deal out of this. The situation itself is already embarrassing.”
“You should shoot your shot, Y/N.” Mark says in a supportive tone “If I hadn’t made the first move, I wouldn’t be dating now.”
“Yes, we support you.”
“If even Mark has a girlfriend, you can get that d- OUCH DON’T HIT ME”
“Plus, you already know each-”
“You’re not that bad-looking either-”
All the boys start speaking at the same time and you think you might go crazy. What are they talking about? Dating Jeong Jaehyun? It’s not like you were in love with the guy, it was only a crush, for heaven’s sake! You were only acquaintances and dating was definitely not your top priority right now. You hang up on the rambling boys at the same time your roommate comes back to your shared room.
“What happened? Abigail was complaining about you screaming at her,” she says closing the door and sitting beside you.
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When Monday came, you instantly wished that it was Friday. You are woken up by a pillow being thrown at you, full force. The alarm on your phone must have been ringing for a while but you didn’t hear it.
“Good morning to you too, Jiwoo.” you groan.
“Turn this off,” she says covering her head with her comforter looking like a caterpillar. “What time are you free today? Wanna grab dinner?”
“Spanish class finishes at 7.” you yawn and stand up, finally getting enough strength to start your day.
You’ve been taking Spanish classes for a year and a half now. And even though Mrs. García graduated last semester, Johnny continued taking the classes, which positively surprised you.
“I’ll meet you at the Language Center, then.” she pokes her head out of her comfortable cocoon to whisper “You can invite that hot classmate of yours. The tall one.”
“I’m not gonna invite Johnny,” you say shaking your head and choosing your pair of jeans and t-shirt of the day “He will certainly embarrass me.”
“We’ve been living together for three years, is there anything about you I don’t know yet?” she says, now sitting on her bed. “Stop being selfish and help your lonely friend here.”
“Why Johnny, though?” you ask, turning your head to her “Remember how he signed up for the Spanish classes only because of the hot teacher?”
“Yeah, he’s a frat boy.” she says shrugging her shoulders “But it’s not like I want to marry him. It’s like Cyndi Lauper used to say...” she stands up and takes her phone out of the charger and ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ starts playing. You roll your eyes and smile at her.
“Alright, I’ll ask Johnny.” you close your drawer and open the bedroom’s door “Just turn it off before Abigail starts hitting our wall.”
Your morning classes went smoothly, no surprises. Some professors scheduled exams for next month and you made sure to add a reminder on your phone. At noon you went to the cafeteria to buy your lunch and ran to Mrs. Park’s office. She was one of the professors responsible for the Academic Writing course, and because of your excellent grades, she recommended you as a tutor. Despite being an elective subject, a lot of freshmen always signed up for it since it was very helpful during your undergraduate life.
Once you get into the long hall, you swallow the last piece of your sandwich and knock on her door. The old lady opened it with a smile, motioning for you to enter.
“How are you today, dear?” she says sitting on her chair and you mirror her action.
“I’m fine, thank you. Is everything alright, Mrs. Park? You called me here…” you say cautiously earning a giggle from the lady.
“Oh, don’t worry dear. I’m sorry if my email sounded so urgent, I just wanted to talk to you about your tutoring classes.” she types something on her laptop and looks back at you. “There are some foreign students in my class who might need help not only with the academic style but the language itself. I will ask you to be patient and take a closer look at them.”
“Of course! I haven’t tutored any foreign student yet, but I’ll gladly help them,” you say smiling.
“I’ll keep you updated with my lesson plans and their assignments…”
Your meeting with Mrs. Park was short and very pleasant, as always. She was kind enough to give you a cookie once you finished. You were now heading back to the main building, finding your way to the library where you would continue the assignments you postponed on Saturday. Too focused on arriving as soon as possible, you didn’t see a tall guy, holding three heavy books, coming in your direction and when you realized, it was too late to get out of his way. You met the floor, just like the books and some of his notes.
“I’m so sorry.” you start picking up the sheets of paper next to you “I didn’t see…” you only meet his eyes when the guy kneels and picks up one of the books on the floor.
“Hi, Y/N” Jaehyun’s lips stretched into a subtle smile, showing the dimples on his cheeks.
“Oh, hi! I’m so sorry for this mess.” you say, both standing up. “I didn’t see you there.”
“You’ve been apologizing a lot lately,” he comments, remembering your flustered state two days before.
“Sor-” you stop yourself before you could finish your apologies, again. Jaehyun giggles at you.
“You’re distracted, it happens.” he shrugs, smiling widely and you swore your heart was going to combust at that very moment. “Gotta go, see you around.”
You don’t even have time to answer, the boy was already at the end of the hall.  
Some hours later and with an empty stomach, you finish your first essay and check the time. You had five minutes to get to class. Hurriedly, you gathered your belongings and ran across buildings to get there on time. Fortunately, the teacher wasn’t in class yet. But Johnny was.
“Señorita, muy tarde, ¿no?” he says and you roll your eyes “Our Spanish princess is late, I can’t believe it.”
“Stop being so annoying.” you say throwing your bag beside him, “I thought I was the Spanish queen. Did you declass me?”
“Now that that straight A student is gone, I gave it a second thought and I believe the queen title belongs to her,. But you're the second best," he says taking a pen and a notebook out of his backpack, making you raise an eyebrow. “I promised I wouldn’t copy your notes this semester.”
“I have to say I’m surprised. I didn’t think you would want to keep studying Spanish.“
"Why not?”
“I thought you only wanted to… you know… hang out with our teacher.” you hesitate.
“Since when is fuck a forbidden word?” he chuckles “Yes, I wanted to fuck her but I told you, I wanted to learn a new language too.”
“You didn’t need to be rude, Johnny,” you mumble and he laughs.
“Plus, I’m doing this for you too.” you give him a questioning look and he replies with a cheeky grin “So you can see Jaehyun’s face twice a week.”
“And here I was considering hooking you up with my roommate,” you say to him.
“What do you mean?”
“She invited you to have dinner with us tonight because she wants to flirt with you.” you say bored, looking at your wristwatch. “Isn’t the teacher a bit late?”
“Well, I’m free tonight, why don’t give your sweet roommate a chance?”
“Just, please, tone it down while I’m eating. I don’t want to be the third-wheel.”
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You had a knife and you weren’t afraid to use it against Johnny right now. When he said he would make sure that you wouldn't be thirdwheeling, he didn’t mention it involved inviting Jeong Jaehyun.
“Is it a double date?” Jiwoon whispered in your ear when she saw the boy approaching your table.
“This is not a date,” you say behind your gritted teeth. “Johnny…” you look at the man in front of you and he smiles widely.
“So, Jiwoo, that’s my friend Jaehyun. We live together.” Johnny introduces Jaehyun to your roommate, who shakes his hand. “This is Jiwoo.”
“Nice to meet you, Jaehyun.”
“I called you here because I thought it would be nice to have a double date!” Johnny boldly says making your eyes grow wider and your face burn. It made Jaehyun’s ear red, but that you didn’t notice.
“This is a friendly dinner,” you say, taking the knife from the table, “and I would appreciate it if you stop being so inconvenient.”
“I thought I could call it a date after what happened Saturday morning.” Johnny grins at you and before you could scream at him, Jaehyun speaks first.
“Stop bringing that up,” he places a hand on Johnny’s shoulder, “you’re making her uncomfortable.”
“Why are your ears so red, Jaehyunnie?” Johnny tilts his head to the side and places both hands on the other boy’s ears.
“I’ll punch your face once we get home,” the younger mumbles and Johnny lifts an eyebrow.
“It will be fun watching you try,” he mumbles back. “So, ladies, shall we order?”
After the dramatic introductions, the dinner went quite well and there wasn’t another mention regarding The Incident (how you like to call it on your mind). Johnny and Jiwoo were too engrossed in their own flirting to think about embarrassing their friends. It was a really pleasant meal and by the end of it, you found out Jaehyun is easygoing and it wasn’t hard to hold a conversation once he opened up. He told you about his major, architecture, even though you already knew that, and said he was glad that Johnny invited him to dinner because, being full of projects to finish, he probably wouldn’t even remember to eat properly.
“We know each other for what, a year and a half?” he asks and you nod. “How come we never talked like this?”
“I think we never had the chance,” you say smiling.
Johnny and your roommate were walking behind you. You glanced back and saw his arms around her shoulders, giggling while she blushed.
“They are disgusting,” you say with disdain, and Jaehyun laughs. “Seriously. I asked him to tone it down… I’m tired of thirdwheeling,” you say under your breath, but Jaehyun hears you.
“Is that why Johnny called me?” he says suggestively “So you did want it to be a double date.”
“What? NO!” you say hitting his left arm but regretting right after. You just got to know the guy, you are not that close yet. But your heart feels lighter once he chuckles.
“Do you know why Johnny always messes with you?” he asks and you shake your head. “Because you get riled up easily. I was only joking, dummy.” he flicks your forehead lightly, smiling at you, exposing his dimples.
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“So, you and Jaehyun talked a lot, huh,” Jiwoo says while both of you are on your way back to the dorms. It was late, but you didn’t mind missing a few hours of sleep. Not today.
“Yeah, he was friendly,” you refrain yourself from saying much more. “I had no one else to talk to since you and Johnny were almost making out in front of me,” you say with a playful smile while she pushes out of the sidewalk.
“You are exaggerating.” she sighs and you smile wider “But we did flirt.”
“Did you give him your number?” you ask, linking your arms together.
“Yes, we exchanged numbers. I hope he texts first.”
“Oh, don’t wait for Johnny.” you say and Jiwoo tilts her head in confusion “He will forget to text you. Once we get home, send him something like ‘thanks for dinner’ or ‘I had so much fun tonight’ and he will be happy.”
The rest of the walk back home was your friend trying to embarrass you bringing up Jaehyun and you trying not to get riled up easily, as the boy had mentioned before. You realized your attempts to remain unbothered were in vain when Jiwoo was running away from you to avoid physical retaliation.
Both of you entered the building laughing as quietly as you could. Once you got to your floor, you headed to the end of the hall, meeting one of your neighbors, Abigail, getting out of her own room with a plate full of cookies.
“Hello, girls! I made those cookies for my roommate, but she’s already asleep. Do you want to share it?”
“Are you sure you don’t wanna keep them for when she wakes up?” Jiwoo asks, already putting a cookie on her mouth “I take it back. Yes, we accept the cookies.”
“Is it good?” she asks expectantly.
“This is DIVINE!” you hit your roommate’s shoulder and open your door.
After accpeting you neighbor's cookies and chatting for a bit, you and Jiwoo went to bed. You laid your head down on your pillow and, even though you felt tired, you couldn’t get out of your head images of a certain dimpled boy. Before The Incident, you and Jaehyun barely had opportunities to know each other like you did tonight. Of course, you would rather cut off your tongue than tell Johnny you liked his idea of inviting the boy. It made you wonder if getting to know him better will make your little crush fade away or make it bigger. You sincerely hoped for the former.
In the morning, rather than your alarm, your cousin’s ringtone woke you up. You groaned and picked up the phone.
“Good morning, pumpkin! Is the grass greener, the world beautiful and life worth living yet?” you hear his giggles and sigh loudly.
Johnny Fucking Seo.
“You are alive to bother me, life still sucks.” you whisper trying not to wake up Jiwoo “Do you know you woke me up before my alarm? What time…” you take your phone from your ears to check the time and when you read 6:17 am on the screen, you know Taeyong days are numbered. “Are you a psychopath? I still had almost an hour of sleep.”
“I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be late!” he says loudly and you hear a thud in the background “And also because I wanna meet my lovely cousin before my first class that starts at 8:30. I’m making a special breakfast for us.”
“Please, don’t.” you have flashbacks from the last time Taeyong made a ‘special breakfast’ you had to spend the rest of your day taking antacid “Just stick with simple breakfast. Simple is good.”
“Okay, then. Meet you at 7:30 in the cafeteria.” he says and when you are about to hang up, he finishes with “I might invite Jaehyun too.”
“LEE TAEYONG” you whisper-yell but he had hung up before you could protest. The person who said that family is everything clearly didn’t have an annoying cousin like Taeyong.
You spend some time scrolling through your social media and messaging death threats to Johnny and Taeyong. Then you decide to get up and write a note to your friend. Today both of your classes wouldn’t start until 10 am, so you decided to warn her and let her sleep peacefully.
At 7:35 you arrived at the cafeteria and spotted Taeyong sitting in one of the tables, two trays in front of him.
“You are late.”
“Only five minutes.” you shrug “I thought you were making me a special breakfast,” you go to his side and greet him with a hug.
“You said I should make it simple so I bought you the cafeteria breakfast. Don’t complain.” he takes his bag off the chair next to him and motions for you to sit down. “I need your help.”
You frown while munching a piece of bread. “Help? I thought you called to make fun of me for going on a date with Jaehyun.”
“And yet, you came, willingly. I’ll tell Johnny you considered it a date.” he had a knowing smile adorning his face. “But, no, I wouldn’t wake up earlier just to annoy you. You’re not that important.” he says while peeling a banana. “First, don’t forget that my sister is coming to visit us this weekend. My mom will kill me if you’re not there to celebrate with us.”
Taeyong’s family lived closer than yours. Being only a one hour drive to his hometown, both of you constantly pay your aunt a visit - most of the time requested by her. This time, Taeyong’s sister is visiting after a whole year living abroad with her son and husband, so, obviously, there would be a huge family gathering.
"But I also need your help with a surprise party. Yuta’s birthday is coming soon and I would ask for the boys’ help, but now that Doyoung is gone I can only trust Taeil.”
“That’s because your friends can’t keep their mouth shut,” you mumble and see your cousin smiling. “What do you want me to do? I don’t know Yuta that well, he will find it weird…”
“You won’t need to talk to him or anything. I was thinking you could buy decorations and make the cake.”
“Where will you celebrate it? You can go bowling, maybe going to an arcade… Arcade sounds nice.”
“Arcade? How old are you 12?” Taeyong scoffs. “We’ll just throw a party and invite everyone.”
“You will throw a frat party and give a cake to the guy and call it a surprise?�� you deadpan. “Are you dumb?”
“Yeah, I’m throwing him a party. What else do you want me to do?” he looks at you bewildered.
“Well, if your plan is throwing a party and inviting everyone on campus, you won’t need to worry about your friends because Yuta will know one way or another.“ you sigh and place your sandwich back on the tray. “It will be a party full of people who barely know him… it’s better if you just take him to a place he likes. Maybe an amusement park? You can try to find a ticket for that french film festival, he looks cultured, he might like it.”
“People don’t want to spend their birthday at cultured festivals, Y/N. People wanna get drunk. I’m people. Yuta is people.” Taeyong says stealing your sandwich.
“Give it back, thief.” you take it from his hands “I’m not saying he can’t get drunk, I’m just saying it’s stupid to make a frat party to celebrate his birthday, there’s nothing special in it.”
You continue bickering for a couple of minutes until a tall figure appears patting Taeyong shoulder and sitting next to you.
“Good morning to you”
You hear his baritone voice and your heart starts beating faster, but you say to yourself that it had nothing to do with Jaehyun being right beside you. Your pulse was fast because of your argument with Taeyong, yes, that was the reason.
"What are you fighting about?”
“Before you murder me, I didn’t know he would be here.” Taeyong whispers to you. “I didn’t know you had classes early today, Jae.”
“Yeah, I actually came early because of my group project. One of the girls ruined it and now we need to fix it.” he scratches the back of his head and you see him slumping against the chair “What were you talking about?”
“Yuta’s birthday.” you blurt out at the same time as Taeyong says “My mom’s dinner.”
“Sorry…” you say smiling apologetically to your cousin “I’m sure Jaehyun won’t say anything.”
“So, Jae, we’re planning a birthday party,” Taeyong starts but you interrupt.
“You are being unreasonable.“ you scoff at your cousin “Your idea doesn’t make ANY sense. You can’t make a surprise party when you plan to invite half campus.”
“Could you, please, shut up?” he warns, lifting his index finger in your direction “I was telling her that we could throw a big surprise party and invite everyone to celebrate Yuta’s birthday.”
“Basically, he wants to throw one of your frat parties and expects Yuta to be surprised. This is a terrible idea.” you say crossing your arms over your chest “I suggest something more intimate, for his close friends…”
“You’re just saying this because you don’t like our parties. They are the most fun-“ Jaehyun interrupts Taeyong before he can finish.
“I agree with your cousin, hyung.” you and Taeyong quickly shift your attention to the boy “She has a point. You can’t expect that everyone you invite won’t tell Yuta. And it’s his birthday, he should celebrate with people that actually care about him,” he sips his iced coffee before continuing “We can make a small surprise party. I heard Winwin is planning to visit us and Johnny knows one of his classmates, he can ask-“
"No, not Johnny.” you interrupt him “He will end up telling Yuta about the party.”
“I can try talking to the guy, I guess.” he smiles and you nod happily.
“See, Taeyong, that’s what we call a good idea,” you say and he makes a disgusted face.
“Since when are you guys that close? You had your first date yesterday!“ your cousin teases you and you throw a banana at him.
“It was a friendly dinner.” Jaehyun corrects Taeyong, copying your words from yesterday. You smile, even though a tiny part of you felt a little bit hurt that he didn’t consider it a date. “And this has nothing to do with our new friendship, I’m just being fair.”
Taeyong hums looking at the younger boy suspiciously.
“I do think we can throw a party for him at a bowling alley, though. Does he like bowling? Maybe an arcade-” you start ranting but Jaehyun laughs at you.
“How old are you?” as soon as the question leaves his lips, Taeyong snickers.
“I told you it was childish.”
You place your elbows on the table and rests your cheeks on your hands. “I really wanted to go to an arcade,” you mumble.
“Go by yourself then,” Taeyong says, placing the banana you threw at him back on your tray. “I’ll create a group chat with you so we can think about the details.” he says, fishing his phone out of his pocket and widening his eyes when he looked at the time “I gotta go or I’ll be late for class.”
Jaehyun stands up at the same time as your cousin, gathering his belongings “I should go too.”
“It’s a surprise, don’t tell anyone.” Taeyong points a finger at you before waving goodbye.
“I’m not a snitch,” you say loud enough for him to hear you.
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You had to admit, the rest of your week went by quickly and nothing exciting happened. Except for one of your tutoring students. He was one of the exchange students Mrs. Park had warned you about. His language skills were still a bit rusty, but he was brilliant nevertheless.
Hendery Wong was so easygoing and fun to be with, that even boring tutoring sessions became bearable.
"So, you are telling me that I can’t use this structure here” he frowned and pointed at the same sentence for the third time “But in this other situation it is correct? It makes no sense!” he laughs and throws his pencil on the table.
“Hendery, you need to analyze the whole sentence. Pay attention to the syntax.”
“Y/N, you are a great tutor, but it’s been two hours and I’m starving.” he stopped you by placing his open palm in front of your face.
“You’re right, we should let this matter for the next session.” you started gathering your belongings while the guy next to you stood up.
“Do you wanna grab lunch together? But you are forbidden to talk about syntax or verb tenses.” you laughed at him and nod
“Yeah, that would be nice.”
“Great!”
Once you stood up and got ready to go, you realized the boy started giggling while looking at you.
“What’s wrong? Do I have something on my face?” you asked, palming your cheeks and forehead.
“No, it’s just that I was thinking,” the boy opened a big smile and you can’t help but mirror his action “You are really pretty."
That stuck to your head in a way that even now, on your way back from your aunt’s house, Taeyong could pinpoint there was something on your mind. He was on the passenger seat, looking at you curiously, and you could feel his stare.
“Spill it,” you say without taking your eyes off the road.
“Oh? Nothing. Just thinking about how I haven’t seen you since Tuesday.” he hums to an unfamiliar song and you frown “You’ll drop me first, right?”
“Sure. I need to give Johnny’s car back since you don’t have your own.”
“You should be the one with a car, I don’t even have a license.”
You scoff and he turns the radio on. You lived too far from your campus, so bringing your car with you wasn’t an option and Taeyong, being the useless cousin you think he is, doesn’t know how to drive. Johnny is nice enough to lend you his car once in a while. Taeyong said he would only need the car at night, so he didn’t mind if you took it today. It was a relief because going to your Aunt’s by bus was hell.
“Since you’ll drop me first, do you want to spend the night? It will be late to go home by yourself.”
“It’s 6:45, Taeyong. I’ve walked back to the dorms later than that.”
“We’re having a movie night. Maybe you can finally convince us to watch High School Musical.” he lifts his eyebrows suggestively.
“You know I always lose, everyone hates it.”
“Not everyone,” he emphasizes, but you shrug.
“I'll stay if you buy us pizza.”
“Deal.”
The rest of the ride is quiet. Taeyong falls asleep and you turn off the radio to avoid getting too distracted by the music. You have a license, but it doesn’t mean you are a confident driver.
Around thirty minutes later, you park Johnny’s car and go inside the big house with your cousin. Yuta was sprawled on the couch, reading a book and a guy you knew as Jungwoo was sleeping on the armchair. You could hear faint sounds coming from upstairs and you guessed it was Mark playing guitar. Or maybe Donghyuck’s screams while playing games, you weren’t sure.
Taeyong guides you to the kitchen and you find Taeil eating a bowl of something you couldn’t really guess what it was.
“Hyung, that’s my cousin.” Taeyong gets closer to the boy and whispers “She is going to help us with operation Osaka.”
“If you want to keep it a secret, maybe you shouldn’t call it operation Osaka.” the eldest jokes and you nod in agreement.
“Isn’t it frustrating living with Taeyong? He is so slow sometimes.” you sigh and hand your phone to your cousin. “I’m getting hungry.”
Taeyong tricked you into thinking that there was a movie night previously arranged. He said, however, the nicest things are done unplanned, so he invited the others. Mark and Jungwoo were the first ones to refuse. The first has a date with his girlfriend and Jungwoo is probably just not feeling it. Yuta stayed on the couch reading his book, not minding any of you. Donghyuck probably didn’t even listen to Taeyong, too engrossed in his games. The only ones left were you, Taeil, your cousin, and Johnny, who said would stay for just a while.
“What about Jaehyun?” you asked, bringing the beer cans to the living room. The words left your mouth before you could realize the consequences. You saw Johnny and Taeyong smirking and Yuta taking his eyes off the book and staring at you. “I mean, the more, the merrier.”
“Jaehyunnie has been locked in his room since yesterday. He said something about a project.” Taeil was the one who answered you.
“We shouldn’t bother him, then,” you say handling Yuta a beer and drinking your own.
“Oh, cousin,” Johnny called, making you roll your eyes.
“I’m not your cousin, John-”
“Where were you on Friday?” he smiles at Taeyong and looks back at you.
“You usually have lunch with us,” Taeyong says and proceeds to sip his drink to hide his growing smile.
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry about that! I had lunch with someone else.”
“We are aware,” Johnny says not-so-innocently. “A little bird told me you had lunch with Hendery Wong, the hot exchange student.”
“I seriously hate this little bird of yours,” you say motioning your body to look at the TV. “and he suggested we had lunch together only because I was tutoring him.”
“Having lunch with the students it’s not part of a tutor’s job.” Yuta says as he closes his book “Taeil hyung, stop scrolling and choose a movie already!”
“He was just being nice,” you mumble, but Taeyong hears it.
“First Jaehyun, now Hendery? Your standards are too high for your own good.” he whispers playfully and you hit his legs.
Once the three boxes of pizza were opened in front of you and the movie started playing, you let yourself relax on your spot on the floor. You felt your eyes flutter and slowly close. You weren’t a very energetic person, and the previous week seemed to have drained all of your energy. You woke up to someone poking your cheeks.
Johnny was already gone and Taeyong was sleeping beside you. Yuta and Taeil were the only ones paying attention to the movie. You turn your head to see Donghyuck smiling down at you while holding a plate with three slices of pizza.
“Oh, hey, Hyuck,” you say, adjusting yourself. “You can eat it if you want.”
“I ate it already. I’m offering you the opportunity of taking this upstairs and giving it to Jaehyun hyung,” he says placing the plate on your hands and making his way between you and Taeyong. “You should also take a beer or two with you.”
“Why don’t you take it?”
“Shhhh.” you hear an annoyed Yuta.
After exchanging glances and engaging in a silent fight with Donghyuck, you stand up and go straight to the kitchen to grab two cans of beer. Why were you listening to him? Why was your heart beating faster the closer you got to the staircase? What if Jaehyun was asleep? Or, maybe, he just wanted to be alone. You pondered if you should leave the food at his doorstep, knock the door, and run back to the living room.
But why were you so afraid to knock on a simple door? Because it was Jaehyun’s.
Even though he had acknowledged that you were friends and, now, you could manage to hold a proper conversation with him, you couldn’t help but stay very conscious about your own words and actions. What if Jaehyun realized you were actually very awkward and not interesting? Or worse, he could find out about your crush and distance himself from you. Then, all your efforts to build a friendship will be in vain.
You were overthinking about knocking a door. Jaehyun will make you go insane.
When you are about to knock, you see one of the doors in the hall opening and Jaehyun getting out. He looks taken aback at first by the sight of you in front of his door, trying to hold a plate and two cans of beer. But then, he smiles and reaches to grab the cans from your arms.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were here.”
“Taeyong invited me for a movie night.”
“And what about these?” he asks, lifting the beers and pointing his chin at the plate you were holding.
“Oh, these are for you. Taeil said you didn’t leave your room the whole day.”
“Yeah, I’m still fixing that project from Tuesday.” he moves to open his bedroom door and you glance at the amount of paper, glue, and materials you couldn’t even name. It was a mess. “I would invite you in, but I don’t think I can fit anyone else in here.”
“Oh my God, Jaehyun.” you widen your eyes and he feels his ears getting hot from embarrassment “Do you need help? I can start cleaning…”
“No, no, please,” the boy says, placing the beers somewhere and taking the plate of pizza off your hands “Go back to watch the movie.”
“You seriously need help.” you look around once again and then turn your gaze back at his face “Plus, the movie is not that fun.”
And that’s how you spend the next few hours with him. While he took a break to eat the things you brought, you started separating garbage from the things Jaehyun would actually use. Just by finishing that, he got back half of his room. Then, once the boy went back to the project, he gave you some little tasks like cutting some paper squares and handing him utensils. Jaehyun even made sure to explain to you what you were doing and talked about his project. Most of the time you just nodded in agreement, not really understanding what he said. What you did get was that the model he was building represented 40% of his grade. If you were him, you would be freaking out too.
“I had to rebuild the whole thing except for these details,” he says, pointing to one of the benches on your hand.
“And your group didn’t help with anything?” you ask, extending your open hand for him to get another tree.
“I wouldn’t let Naeun get close to this again. If she touches it, I might actually kill her.” Jaehyun mumbles while using tweezers to glue the tree on his project. He had his lips puckered, focusing on his task.
You stay silent for a moment, watching the boy cautiously finishing the details of his work. Now that you were focused on analyzing his figure, you perceived how tired Jaehyun must be. His tousled hair looked dirty and his eyes were adorned by eyebags and dark circles. You saw him yawning frequently and sometimes you could see him batting his eyelashes swiftly, to whisk away his sleepiness.
“Did you sleep last night?” you ask, giving him the last tree that was on your hand.
“Not really.”
“Shouldn’t you go to sleep, then?”
“I will once I finish my next assignment.” he says, motioning to grab a brush that was behind him “Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s hard not too when you look like a panda,” you answer and he smiles, but doesn’t answer. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘next assignment’?”
“I need to hand in an essay on Monday.” he mumbles, placing the last tree next to the main building of the model “But it’s almost ready, I just need to proofread it.”
“I can proofread it for you. Where is it?” you ask standing up and looking around.
“It’s fine, sit down.” he holds your hand and pulls it in his direction “You’ve helped a lot already.”
“The only thing I did was stare and hold some trees,” you say quietly, looking at his fingers holding your hands.
“You helped with the grass. The grass was important.” he smiles and pulls you with more strength now “Come on, sit down. You also helped me to not fall asleep, that’s important.”
“You know that you are too tired to proofread your essay properly, right?” you say sitting beside him again. “Plus, I’m one of the tutors of Academic Writing. Proofreading is what I do the most.”
“If I promise to go to sleep and finish my essay tomorrow, will you shut up?”
“Why can’t I proofread it for you?” you tilt your head to the side.
“You’re smarter than me, you’ll see my dumb mistakes,” he mutters and you smile at him.
“We all make dumb mistakes, Jaehyun.” you sigh and start gathering the unused utensils around you “Fine, at least let me help you organize this mess.”
Yuta is the one that comes and takes you out of your bubble. Jaehyun was giving his model the final touches while you were placing one of his books back to the shelf. The elder knocked on the door and entered before Jaehyun could answer it.
“Jae, are you- oh!” Yuta looks at you surprised “I didn’t know you were here. We thought you left before the movie ended.”
“She was helping me.” Jaehyun says without looking at his friend “Hyung, can you take the dishes downstairs for us, please?”
“Yeah…” the other boy exchanges glances between the both of you before leaving and kindly takes the plate and the two empty cans downstairs with him.
“You take your phone out of your pocket and surprise yourself with the time. “I should get going, it’s getting late.”
“How will you go back?” he asks standing up from his spot on the floor and stretching his arms.
“It’s only a 15-minute walk, I’m used to it.” Before you can reach the door, Jaehyun holds your arm and pulls you to his side.
“Look at the floor, you were about to step on the scissors.” he scolds you while you just stare at his facial features. How can he manage to look gorgeous and a complete mess at the same time? “Taeyong is going with you, right?”
“Taeyong is probably asleep by now.” you chuckle and try to avoid any other sharp utensil on the floor.
“You’re going home alone? At this time?” he follows you to the hall and stops at his door frame.
“What do you want me to do? Sleep here?” you question him playfully.
“Well, you slept here last week. I wouldn’t mind sharing my bed. Again.”
And then, you swear you see him smirking.
“Are you flirting with me?” you blurt out and pretend to sound uninterested.
“I might be.”
You feel your cheeks burning and avoid meeting his gaze.
“You are really shameless, aren’t you?”
“I was just kidding, silly.” he laughs and pats your head “I’m actually offering to walk you home.”
You quickly turn your head to meet his face. “No, I won’t accept your company.”
“Why?” he says putting a hand on his chest soundings genuinely offended “I was kidding, I’m not flirting with you-”
“I don’t know how to feel about this,” you mumble, quite offended this time “I guess I should say thank you?” you giggle and stop at the top of the staircase “I appreciate your offer, but you look really, really tired. Just go to sleep before you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation.”
Instinctively, you cup his cheeks on your hands and look at him seriously “Please. Go. To. Sleep.” you take your hands out of his face, leaving Jaehyun’s cheeks numb and his ears, red.
“It’s dangerous for you to walk alone at night.” he stutters, a bit flustered from your sudden affectionate touch.
Before you realized, you were already on the ground floor. Donghyuck was cuddling Taeil, both asleep on the floor.
“And you’re suggesting you will protect me if something happens?” you whisper passing by the two of them in the living room “You can barely keep your eyes open. I’ll be more worried about you walking back here alone. No way.”
“I told you to stop worrying about me.” he gets closer to you just to hold the doorknob, stopping you from opening it.
“Then you shouldn’t worry about me either.” you take his hand from the handle and open it.
“You ladies keep complaining about the death of chivalry,” he says leaning on the door frame “but here you are, ignoring my attempts.”
“Oh, you’re such a gentleman.” you mock him and he shakes his head smiling. “Goodbye, Jaehyun.”
“Text me as soon as you get home,” he shouts to make sure you listen.
And you did. Your cheeks blushed at his words and you couldn’t dare to look back, but if you did, you would see Jaehyun standing still in front of the house, and only getting in once your figure was out of frame.
The boy has always admired you, even though you only small-talked before. He found you smart and it was funny watching you and Johnny bickering all the time. The morning you woke up beside him was clearly a shock. Jaehyun didn’t know you well enough to share a bed with you, but, somehow, he felt that was the beginning of your new friendship.
Once he got inside, he saw Donghyuck whining while Taeil pushed him away.
“Get off me, Donghyuck.”
“I’m gonna make some ramyeon, do you want it?” Jaehyun asks while walking past them.
The youngest stands up and follows Jaehyun to the kitchen. Taeil takes advantage of this and quickly goes to his room, not even saying goodbye to the other two.
“What happened upstairs?” the younger had a mischievous grin on his face.
Jaehyun prefers to ignore Donghyuck as he doesn’t understand the question. “Do you want ramyeon or not?”
“Yeah, put on a pack for me” he takes three packs from the cabinet and throws them on the kitchen counter while Jahyun fills a pan with water. “What happened after Y/N went upstairs to give you some food?”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I’m omniscient.” he uses a sarcastic tone, “I told her to take that to you, being the caring dongsaeng I am, obviously.”
“Your jokes are getting funnier each day.” Jaehyun deadpans and Donghyuck smiles. “Nothing happened.”
“I saw her leaving just now and it’s almost two…” the younger uses a suggestive tone, making Jaehyun roll his eyes.
“She was helping me with my project,” he answers simply, making the boy groan.
“That bitch is slow as fuck.” he mumbles and Jaehyun smiles.
“I talked to Johnny about it and, now, I’ll ask you too,” he says after getting three eggs from the fridge. “Stop putting her in uncomfortable situations. The other day, Johnny invited me to dinner and when I got there, she looked like she would collapse at any moment.”
“She spent four hours watching you cutting paper, do you think she really feels uncomfortable around you?” he shrugs and continues “Plus, you both seem to be a lot closer. Text me when you get home? You don’t even open our messages.”
Jaehyun’s ears start getting red while he faces the younger boy “How do you- Yah, Donghyuck, you shouldn’t be eavesdropping.”
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“Do you remember that project I did three weeks ago?” Jaehyun says excitedly.
Today was Friday, one of the only week-days you could see your friends - at least the ones who didn’t live with you or you didn’t share classes with. At the moment, Jiwoo is sitting next to you in the cafeteria, Johnny in front of her and Taeyong nowhere to be seen. Jaehyun appeared now, taking the other seat beside you.
“The one with the building and the trees?” you ask, taking a bite of your apple pie.
“He is an architecture student, every project involves buildings and trees” Johnny snickers and Jaehyun shows him his tongue.
“Not every project.” the boy takes a paper out of his bag and places it on the table, right beside you. “We got the grades today. It got 3.5 out of 4.” he flashes you a smile and you swallow your food harshly.
“That’s amazing!” you cheer on him, taking a closer look at the paper. “Is there any feedback about the grass? I was the one who made it,” you say the last part leaning on Jiwoo, who didn’t give you much attention.
“He didn’t mention the grass specifically,” Jaehyun smiles at how focused you were on the feedback note on your hand “But I can assure you it was exquisitely applied.”
“Wow, Jae’s using big words,” Taeyong appears behind you, greeting everyone and giving you a hug.
“You should celebrate it,” you say, giving his feedback note back.
“And what type of celebration would you recommend me, miss?” he playfully asks, stealing one of Taeyong’s fries without the older seeing.
“She will give you the WORST recommendations,” Jiwoo interferes before you even open your mouth “There is a professor that haunts Y/N and every assignment she finishes, her celebration is sleeping.”
“Or eating ice cream and then, sleeping,” Taeyong says with his mouth full of food.
“Last year, we went to the movie theater to celebrate the end of midterms and she slept before the movie had even started,” your roommate says, making everyone laugh.
“We’re going to the club tonight, Jae.” Johnny says and turns his head to Jiwoo “You’re coming, right?”
“I don’t know, I have to read some of Hendery’s notes and-” you start and Johnny interrupts you.
“Yeah, yeah, you rarely come. I was asking Jiwoo.”
You love seeing your friends happy, especially when, somehow, you are a part of it. However, since that double date - or friendly dinner, whatever helps you sleep at night - you couldn’t help but feel jealous. Your great friends were dating each other (they didn’t admit it yet, but it wasn’t really needed) and you couldn’t help but feel neglected. Jiwoo started to spend more time at Johnny’s than at your dorm, being considerate as you have already walked in when they were in a heavy make-out session.
“Yeah, sure,” she answers tucking her hair behind her ear. You gag on her action and she hits your shoulder.
“Movie theater is a good option though,” Jaehyun says bringing your attention back to him. “There are some new movies that seem nice.”
“Did you see they released a new one that’s based on a book?” you turn your whole body on the chair to face the boy beside you. “The book is so good. It’s a thriller and it’s narrated in the first person, so you only see the story from the character’s point of view. And, then, she starts going insane…”
“Is it that book you have been begging me to read?” Taeyong asks and you nod furiously.
“I really wanna watch this movie,” you add excitedly
“Let’s watch it then,” he suggests looking at you and smiles when he sees your blushing cheeks. “All of us, I mean. To celebrate my temporary freedom from that class.” he clears his throat and looks at the other at the table.
“I’m in, when do you wanna go?”
Taeyong asks, eating one of his fries. Johnny and Jiwoo simultaneously try to kick his ankle from under the table but end up kicking themselves instead.
“What about today after class? We can get the evening session,” he asks, watching your reaction from the corner of his eyes.
“I’ll have to get ready for the club, you know,,” Johnny says quickly and looks at Taeyong expectantly, but your cousin is still focused on his food.
“I have to run some errands too,” Jiwoo adds “But I’m sure Y/N is free. Her classes end at 3p.m!”
“I really wanted to,” you start and your frustrated tone gives away you’re not going to make it “but as I said, need to read some essays from the students and prepare some notes to help Hendery. Sorry.”
“You can do it during the weekend,” Jiwoo says, nudging your side.
“Stop hitting me!” you whisper to her.
“Well, I’m free.” Taeyong lifts his head and smiles at Jaehyun “We can go together, then.”
“Taeyong, won’t you come to the club with us tonight?” Johnny asks the other boy, giving him a knowing look.
“No, I told you they banned from that-” he grunts when Johnny successfully kicks his ankle from under the table. “Oh, right, yeah, I totally forgot about that. Sorry, I won’t make it.”
“Are you sure you can’t come, Y/N?” he asks you again and you feel Jiwoo elbowing your ribs once again.
“Stupid bitch, he’s asking you on a date,” she whispers and you silently ask her to stop.
“Guess I’ll celebrate at the club then. You should come too, at least for an hour.” he says poking your arm “You helped me finish it. It’s practically your project too.”
“If you don’t accept Jaehyun’s invitation right now,” Jiwoo leans to whisper in your ear, “I’ll lock our room and you’ll have to sleep on the hallway for the rest of the weekend.”
“I have the key too, you know,” you whisper back.
“I wanna see you try to open the door with the drawer blocking it.” She sits back and happily, goes back to talk to Johnny.
What if she was reading everything wrong? If Jaehyun wanted to go on a date, he would promptly ask you. Everyone knows how straightforward the boy can be. However, he invited everyone. You did want to say yes, but there were so many things to be done. Deep down, you knew it was just an excuse. You didn’t want to fool yourself into thinking that the boy’s invitation meant something more than just watching a movie. Still, he was your friend, how could you disappoint a friend who worked so hard and deserved to celebrate.
“I guess I can do my assignments tomorrow,” you lean closer to Jaehyun and say in a low tone “Let’s go to the movies.”
“Are you sure?” he questions furrowing his brows.
“Yes! Don’t worry.”
“Okay,” he nods and rubs your back. "Just don’t forget to text me when your last class is finished.”
“I will.”
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“How did you like it?” Jaehyun asked you on your way out to the theatre, his arms around your shoulders.
“It was fine,” you answer, slightly nervous by the sudden proximity.
Truthfully, you had a hard time focusing on the movie. How could you when your hands were constantly meeting when both of you went to grab a handful of popcorn or when he laid his head on your shoulder to take a short nap? It was especially hard to pay attention to the movie when he started playing with your hand that was on the armrest during the last twenty minutes.
“It was kinda boring,” he says, guiding you to the exit and adding a distance between both of you once you reach the street. “I didn’t feel the thrill at all.”
“Well, I did,” you mumble, thinking about everything that happened but the movie itself “I’m just disappointed by the fact that this has nothing to do with the book. Not even the plot is the same.”
“The movie was your idea and it was terrible.” he playfully nudges you and you gasp, pretending to be offended “I’m afraid of how tedious the book must be.”
“Well, we could have watched any other movie. You didn’t need to choose that one.”
“But you wanted to watch it.” he pouts and you can feel your heart pounding on your throat. “Anyways, it’s almost seven now. If you get ready fast enough, we can get a ride for the club.”
“And who says I’m going to the club?” you raise an eyebrow and cross your arms around your chest.
“I am.” he takes your hand in his and hushes you to walk faster.
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“Yuta’s birthday is this Saturday, don’t forget.” Taeyong reminds you before hanging up.
How can you forget since this is all he has been talking about this week? You started to regret helping your cousin with the surprise party considering the amount of work you had on your hands. You should have seen this coming. You spent three peaceful weeks without any new responsibilities. Suddenly, all your professors decide to schedule assignments and exams for this week. You were on the verge of killing anyone who crossed your path until someone really did.
“You’ll get wrinkles if you don’t stop frowning,” Jaehyun said beside you.
“Where did you come from?” you asked, slightly annoying for getting startled by his sudden presence.
“I was laying down right there,” he pointed to the green area on your right side “when I saw you getting out of your class.”
“Don’t you have classes? How come you are always doing nothing when we meet on campus?” you adjusted the books that were on your arms and Jaehyun noticed.
“No, I don’t have classes,” he said, taking the books from your hold “I work my ass off on those projects because it’s fun. Why are you so irritable today? Where are you going?”
“Library, I need to return them,” you say without complaining and appreciating your friend’s gesture. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just exhausted,” you said under your breath, but Jaehyun listened and used his free arm to embrace your shoulders to bring you closer.
“You know you owe me, right?” he whispered close to your ear and smiled at your flustered state.
“Uh?” you turned your head to meet his face and held your breath when you saw he wasn’t many inches away from you.
Jaehyun suspected about your behavior even before you became friends. You weren’t the most subtle person in the world, so it didn’t take him long to realize you had a tiny crush on him and got embarrassed every time he got more physical or playfully flirted with you. He found it awfully cute when you gave him the same stunned expression you are wearing right now: lips parted, wide eyes, and hot cheeks.
“You owe me a movie date.”
“A what?” you said louder than necessary, avoiding his gaze, and he laughs.
“A movie day,” he corrected, chuckling while you sighed.
“I don’t owe you any date or whatever,” you mumbled taking his arms off your shoulders “Stop with the frat boy behavior, I don’t like it when you do this.”
“Do what?” he asked innocently, smiling when you scowled at him and resumed your walk to the library “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Plus, I am a frat boy.”
“I am aware of it,” you said in disdain. “Why would I owe you a movie day?”
“Don’t you remember that terrible movie we watched together last month? I deserve compensation,” he said reaching your side and placing his arms back on your shoulders.
“You were the one who insisted on paying for my tickets. Do you want me to pay you back?” you asked genuinely and Jaehyun shook his head quickly.
“What? No! Of course not, silly.” he took off his arm from your shoulder just to flick your forehead “I said you owe me a movie, not money.”
“So you wanna go out this week? I’m sorry I can’t-” you guessed and he shook his head again, stopping you.
“You can come over and we watch it together. A little bird told me…”
“What does that frat house of yours have with little birds? Oh my God you guys really love gossiping, don’t you?” you scoff, and Jaehyun laughs.
“Johnny told me you love High School Musical.”
“Yeah, it’s a childhood classic.”
“Me too.” you swiftly turned your head to him as you heard him say “I like High School Musical too. Let’s watch it on Friday.”
“Are you kidding me?” you asked in disbelief.
“I’m not. You can come over after you finish your assignments. A High School Musical marathon will be waiting for you.” Jaehyun slowed down his pace as he saw the library entrance “You can’t say no, you owe me.”
And that’s how you ended up in Jaehyun’s bedroom on a Friday night.
He is currently in the kitchen getting popcorn and drinks ready while you are preparing the room for the High School Musical marathon. You place Jaehyun’s laptop on the bedside table and search for some blankets to cover the bedroom floor. You spent three whole days wondering if it was really a good idea to come over and watch movies with Jaehyun. You knew it wasn’t good for your heart, especially when you were already falling for him - for nobody’s surprise.
You have to keep reminding yourself that you are just friends and you should be happy about it. Being friends it’s better than strangers, isn’t it? But there is something strangely familiar with the way he places his arms around your shoulders and invites you over, on a Friday night, just to watch childish movies. There is a knock on the door and you stand up to open it, thinking that it must be Jaehyun with his hands full, but you see your cousin.
“Hey, Jae- pumpkin?” Taeyong tilts his head to the side looking puzzled “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Yeah, Jaehyun invited me to watch the High School Musical movies with him.” you shrug. “Do you wanna come in? There’s space for you.”
“Oh, no, no. I was just- nevermind.” Taeyong was about to joke about how you too seemed like a couple, but he decides that it’s better if you keep your good mood. “The boys are going out to celebrate Yuta’s birthday.” he finishes and you frown.
“But the party…” you whisper and he chuckles.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s kind of our tradition to celebrate our birthdays the day before too. Hyuck calls it a farewell party.”
“Did you tell them about tomorrow?”
“Not yet. I’ll tell them in the morning,” he says and rubs his hands on his back pockets
“Aren’t you going with them?”
“No, I have to stop you and Jaehyun from doing funny business,” he lets out and you hit his shoulder “Stop hitting me! I’m kidding. Doyoung is arriving late at night so I’ll stay to help him sneak in.”
“Won’t they suspect it?”
“Don’t worry, I’m a good actor,” he says patting your head “Well, enjoy your date.”
“This is not a date!” you scream as he goes away, leaving you alone.
Downstairs, Mark, Johnny, Donghyuck, and Yuta are seated in the living room, waiting for Taeil. Taeyong glances at the kitchen and sees Jaehyun too engrossed in his task, so he takes it as an opportunity and runs to his friends.
“Do you know who’s upstairs?” he whispers sitting beside Johnny.
“Taeil hyung?” Mark questions and Donghyuck slaps the back of his neck.
“Y/N.”
The two younger guys gasp and Yuta takes his eyes off his phone screen, paying attention to his friends.
“That asshole said he had an important arrangement,” Yuta whispers in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you lied too, Taeyong.”
“I’m telling you the truth! I really need to finish an important report.” he lies “This upcoming week is being so hectic. I’m really sorry, Yuta.”
“The boy’s getting his dick wet, I would say it is very important,” Johnny giggles and Taeyong makes a face.
“She’s my cousin, man.”
“I doubt it.” Donghyuck speaks up “I bet 10 bucks nothing will happen. That chick is dumb.”
“Yo, I think Jaehyun hyung will take it to the next level” Mark replies back.
“Make it 15,” Yuta intervenes “He’ll get some tonight.”
“20 on Hyuck,” Johnny says “He will kiss her, she will freak out and won’t look at his face for the next three weeks.”
“How much are you betting, Mark?” Donghyuck asks the older and Taeyong stands up to flick the youngest’s forehead.
“Stop betting on my cousin’s sex life.”
They hear a thud is coming from upstairs and everyone looks up. A faint “are you okay?” is heard and several seconds later, Taeil is in the living room with the others.
“Yah, Taeyong, why was your cousin climbing on Jaehyun’s closet?” the oldest says chuckling. “She fell, but I think she’s fine.”
“I told you, she’s dumb” Donghyuck mocks.
A few minutes later, everyone is gone and the only ones in the house are Taeyong, you, and Jaehyun. Differently from you, the latter doesn’t even spare a glance at Taeyong when he asks if he could join your movie night. The younger just grins and sends him a middle finger.
Different from what his roommates expected, Jaehyun planned this movie night with absolutely no other intention rather than spending some quality time with you. He saw your distressed state and it hurt him to know he could do nothing to help you with your exams. The least he could do was try to comfort you with food, as a good friend would.
“Y/N, what are you doing?” he asks, placing the popcorn bucket and the drinks on his writing desk and going straight to your direction. You are standing on his swivel chair, on your toes, trying to reach the comforter that was on the top shelf of his closet.
“I’m… almost…” you touch the cloth at the same time Jaehyun holds your waist. His hands were gripping your sides, securing you in place.
“Get this before you fall.” the boy warns you, squeezing you gently.
“I already fell.” you pull the comforter and it hits the ground. Jaehyun extends his hand for you to take it. “Taeil helped me, though.”
“Did you get hurt?” he holds your face in his hands, looking at you attentively and it doesn’t fail to make you flustered.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” you push his hands, avoiding his gaze. “Let’s start!”
Both of you sit down against the bed and you press play on the movie. Once the movie started, you could feel your heart getting warmer, memories from your childhood days flooding your mind as you still remembered some of the characters’ lines and, mostly, all the songs lyrics. You refrain yourself from singing the first three songs, embarrassed by Jaehyun’s presence, but once you hit the middle of the first movie, both of you were already making duos and you even stand up to perform ‘When There Was Me and You” making Jaehyun cackle as you use one of his middle school pictures as a fake Troy Bolton poster.
You wake up against Jaehyun’s chest feeling your back sore from the position. Your butt is numb and your legs were tangled in his. The boy has one arm around your body while the other is resting on your thigh. The laptop screen is black and you guess it has turned off. You lift your head to find Jaehyun’s head hanging back, resting on the bed’s mattress. It will certainly cause him a stiff neck. You smoothly remove yourself from his hold and stretch out as you stand up. You place the empty popcorn bucket on Jaehyun’s desk and close his laptop. You couldn’t find your phone, but from his window, you could see it was really dark outside. You had to go back to your dorm, but you couldn’t leave your friend laying down like that.
“Jaehyun,” you whisper “Jae, wake up.” you poke his face. “You’ll get hurt if you keep sleeping in this position.”
Your hands find his hair and softly pats his head. Jaehyun was warm, soft, and smelled so good.
“Jae, wake up, I can’t carry you to bed.” You keep moving one of your hands against his hair while the other is caressing his face until you see his eyes fluttering open. He groans as he moves his neck and you smile softly.
“What time is it, babe?” his husky voice and the sudden nickname catch you off guard.
“Uh… It’s late.” you answer moving away from him “I just woke you up to tell you to go to bed. You’ll hurt your neck.”
“Are you leaving?” he asks with his eyes barely open.
“Yeah, I need to go. You can keep sleeping, though.”
You start standing up and searching for your shoes, but Jaehyun presses himself against your back, enveloping you in a hug.
“No, don’t go. It’s dangerous,” he whispers in your ears and rests his forehead on the crook of your neck, making you freeze.
“I need to go,” you try to take his arms off you, only for him to hold you tighter. “Jaehyun, stop,” you use your most serious tone, but he pretends not to listen. “You’re such a child.”
“Stay the night. I’m too tired to walk you back to your dorm” he lifts his head to look at your side profile “and I won’t let you go alone.”
“I’ve walked alone so many times before…” you mumble and he buries his face on your neck again.
“Now you have me, you don’t have to walk alone again.”
You feel your heart beating faster at his words. If you weren’t already nervous enough with his sudden physical affection, his words completed the job of making your heart rate skyrocket. You keep on the silent battle to try to free yourself from his grasp and you feel him smirking against your skin.
“You know I’m stronger, babe.” There it goes, the damn nickname again.
“Fine, fine.” you give in, not bearing the current situation anymore “If it means you’ll let go of me, I’ll stay.”
He instantly releases you and pats your head. You start gathering your belongings, finding your purse and your shoes, but still looking for your phone.
“I’ll find it tomorrow,” you say to yourself and look at Jaehyun getting some clothes from his closet “Well, goodnight, then” you raise your hand and wave goodbye, but he catches your arm before you can turn to leave.
“Where are you going? You said you’re staying,” he asks genuinely confused.
“To Taeyong’s bedroom,” you answer as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.
“That’s- why-” he frowns and gets closer to you “That’s not what I meant when I asked for you to stay.”
“What do you-”
“I asked you to sleep here.”
“Yeah, Jaehyun, I heard it. I’m staying in the house tonight.”
“With me.”
You gulp at his words. You definitely don’t like this game he was playing with you. You could bear the daily messages and the playful pickup lines, but this was going over the line. Why does he always insist on walking you to your dorm or buy two cupcakes at the cafeteria just to give you one because he knows it’s your favorite? Why invite you to watch childish movies with you on a Friday night when he can just go out with his friends and have fun? Why is he always giving you sudden hugs or holding your hands? Why would he call you ‘babe’? Does he know you like him? Is he trying to prove a point? You aren’t sure what this is, but you are seriously afraid of getting hurt.
��Sleep here with me. We shared a bed before, I don’t mind doing it again,” he continues, bringing your attention back to him.
“I asked you to stop doing this,” you pull your arm from his hold and walk two steps back.
“I’m not doing anything-”
“This behavior. Stop acting like this.” you repeat raising your voice a little bit “Quit playing with me.”
“What are you saying? I’m not playing with you!” he reaches for your hand again, but you deflect.
“Stop flirting with people if you don’t mean it.”
Your voice is stern and you see Jaehyun adjusting his posture.
“Who says I’m flirting with you?” he regrets what he said as soon as he sees your disappointed expression.
Why would you feel disappointed when this is exactly the answer you were expecting? It wasn’t the answer you wanted, though, and deep down you knew it. Your anger leaves your body as sadness takes over, but you manage to smile.
“I’m glad I haven’t misread your actions then. We’re just good friends.”
Jaehyun doesn’t understand why his heart clenched at your words. They were completely true: you were nothing but good friends. He doesn’t have any feelings beyond friendship towards you. Or does he?
“Just don’t go bother your cousin, he must be asleep,”  he clears his throat and hands you a pair of sweatpants and a large t-shirt “There’s a spare toothbrush in the bathroom’s cabinet, you can get it.”
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You were thankful for being able to talk to Jaehyun like the conversation from the night before didn’t happen. You woke up alone on his bed. He was folding the blankets you left on the floor last night and flashed you a smile when he saw you awake. You realized the awkwardness was gone when he started cracking jokes with you. Jaehyun was treating you the same as before and you decided to forget about the conversation you had the night before.  It was like a silent agreement to not mention the sexual tension that both of you decided to ignore.
Once you went downstairs, you had an eventful breakfast though. Both of you found out your friends made a bet on your sexual life. Mark and Yuta believed you would have sex while Johnny and Haechan believed you were too shy to try something with Jaehyun. You were sure your cousin was in the middle of this, even though no one mentioned his name. Taeyong stayed too quiet during the whole breakfast for your liking. Jaehyun almost killed Donghyuck and Mark but said nothing to Johnny or Yuta because he knew he wouldn’t stand a chance against the older ones.
You went back to your dorm to change your clothes and get all of the things for the party Taeyong was hiding from Yuta. The rest of the day went smoothly once all of the boys were warned about the surprise party. The plan was to keep Yuta away until you guys got everything ready by the evening. You went back to their house with Jiwoo, who was glad to help Taeyong and Donghyuck decorating the house while you, Taeil, and Doyoung were preparing the food.
Donghyuck was sulking the entire time for not being warned beforehand about the party, calling your decoration plain and boring. After you found out it was him who started the whole bet thing, you just wanted to kick his face. However, you decided to do it after Yuta’s birthday, just to avoid a commotion.
One of Yuta’s great friends, Sicheng, was, indeed, coming for his birthday and everyone was really excited for his reaction. Even though he could only spend this weekend with his friend.
“He was supposed to arrive with me,” Doyoung explains to you “I was going to drive to the airport and bring him here with me, but his flight got delayed so he will arrive at 1 pm.”
“And he will leave on Sunday?” you ask, handing him the spatula.
“Unfortunately.”
“He said to me he has exams on Tuesday,” Taeil completes “ And his birthday is two days after Yuta’s, he probably wants to spend it with his family.”
“Well, I hope he can at least enjoy his time around.”
The party was supposed to start at 5 pm, so everyone was running against the clock. At 1, Doyoung left you and Taeil in the kitchen to go pick up Sicheng at the airport and by 4, everything was ready, the guests arriving for the party. Taeyong, being the one of the only ones with a suite, kindly let you and Jiwoo use his room to get ready. Your roommate brought both of your clothes with her, and you had to admit you should have expected her to choose something you wouldn’t like.
“I just asked you to grab pants and a shirt!” you complain to her with your clothes in hand.
“And I did!” she uses her mascara to point at you “You act like those clothes aren’t yours. I took them from your drawers!”
“I know they are mine but-”
“No buts,” she gets out of Taeyong’s bathroom to face you. “I’m tired of watching you wearing rags when you have nice clothes. This is a party, woman, you need to show what you came here for.”
“I know, I just- This is…” you look at the skinny pants on your hands, different from the ones you’re used to wearing “so tight. I’ll get all…”
“All the attention, because it will hug you in all the right places. Come on” she whines and you smile at her. She was right.
You were so used to puttin on the same set of jeans and loose t-shirts everyday. You deserved to look good once in a while. Although your bottom was tight, your friends chose a loose long sleeve shirt for you to use, which you silently thanked her for. The weather was starting to get chilly, and you are the type who gets cold easily.
When you were both ready, you went downstairs to see a considerable number of people. Yuta seemed to be really popular in University. It isn’t really shocking though, since it is known how kind and polite the boy is.
When Yuta arrives, everyone screams ‘surprise!’ and starts singing the happy birthday song, he freezes. It takes him a moment to absorb the whole situation, especially when he sees Doyoung and Sicheng holding his cake.
“I wanted to make something special because it’s your last year,” Taeyong says hugging the guy “I know you will graduate soon, so I want you to miss us when you’re gone.”
“Thank you so much, guys!” he says after blowing the candles. “OH, WAIT. Can we light up some other candles? Winwin’s birthday is in two days, let’s sing for him too!”
That is how you spend the evening. It’s different from what you are used to when it comes to parties and this frat house. Not only the time of the day, but everything seems impersonal, cold. Now, watching these boys hanging out together, you start to understand why your cousin loves them so much: they are his family.
If the atmosphere is different, their craziness is the same. You were trying to hold a proper conversation with Mark’s girlfriend, Doyoung and Jungwoo when Donghyuck dragged you to one of his drinking games. He makes sure that you never win so you can take enough shots of vodka to make you feel dizzy.
When you are trying to sober up by eating some of the cupcakes you baked a couple of hours before, it’s Jiwoo’s time to drag you out of the kitchen and place you in a circle in the living room. With both of your hands occupied and your mouth full of icing, you watch Johnny putting on a show just to officially ask your roommate to be his girlfriend. Everyone cheered loudly for them, you including. You are glad that your friends found each other, even though it also means that now they will do everything together, including annoying you.
You are still a little bit too happy when Jaehyun comes to you and hands you a bottle of beer. You haven’t talked to him until then, but it wasn’t like you were avoiding him. Actually, you were preventing yourself from being teased by your friends.
“Wow you look…” he stops for a moment to check you out while sipping his drink.
“What? Too much, right?” you ask, starting to feel self-conscious. "I told Jiwoo…”
“No, your pants look great on you.” he stops you by pointing at you “I was just trying to find the right words. I don’t want to sound like a frat boy, since you keep asking me not to.”
You lower your head and lean on the kitchen counter. So he didn’t forget the previous night conversation.
“I was gonna say that you look hot as fuck,” you can see Jaehyun’s shoes touching yours, warning you that it would be dangerous to look up “and that I was ready to risk our friendship just to make out with you right now.”
You look up and instantly regret your action once you see him up close. Jaehyun traps you between his body and the counter. You feel your heart on your throat and something tingles inside you. You lock eyes with Jaehyun who doesn’t seem to notice your nervousness because he, himself, was dealing with his. Why did he suddenly feel the urge to make a move on you? You are his friend. But friends are not supposed to think about the other in the same way he was thinking about you right now. All he wanted was to kiss you in a way friends should do. He wanted to touch you, he wanted to do things to you that friends definitely shouldn’t do.
“Jaehyun…” the way you whisper his name, so close to his lips, makes him want to kiss you so badly. “I asked you to stop.”
“I’m not doing anything.” he whispers back with his body over yours while looking at your lips.
“I don’t like this game.”
“Good, because I’m not playing.”
You will blame the alcohol later, right now, you are too busy feeling Jaehyun against your lips. He had one hand on the counter behind you while the other circled your waist, bringing you impossibly close to his body. You took no time to place one hand on his neck and the other on his shoulder, helping you to keep your balance. He gently grazes his tongue on your lower lip, asking for permission, and once you grant it, the kiss becomes way rougher than you expected. Jaehyun tastes like beer and cupcakes, bitter and sweet. You smile at the thought of him eating the cupcakes you put so much effort on. His hand that was on your waist, goes down to your lower back at the same time you put both of your arms around his neck and bring him closer. He takes a few steps back, separating you from the counter, just to bring his other hand to your butt, and smirking right after giving it a light squeeze.
He lowers both of his hands to the back of your thighs, suggesting that he wanted to lift you up. Once you lock your legs on his waist, he walks back to the counter, placing you there and staying between your legs. You were feeling hot like you’ve never felt before. Your fingers find their way on the back of his neck, pulling a few strands of hair making him hum in satisfaction.
When you break the kiss, filling your lungs with air, Jaehyun quickly places his lips to your jaw and then your neck. He bites your ear lobe and leaves a trail of wet kisses up to your collarbones. You bring your body closer to him as you feel his lips find a particular sensitive part of your neck. He keeps one of his hands on your lower back while the other massages your thigh.
When Jaehyun tries to find your lips again, you place your lips on his neck, leaving light marks all over it. You feel him tightening his grip on you as your teeth graze his sensitive skin and you smile. When you unconsciously grind your hips against him, the boy feels the urge to rip your clothes off right and then, until your eyes meet again.
Jaehyun looks at your eyes and suddenly he feels his heart clench. He couldn’t be rough with you, he didn’t want to. His heart was beating insanely faster when your lips met for the second time. He slowed down your rhythm, and now, kissing you gently and lovingly, he could properly feel you. Feeling your soft lips against his and your fingers caressing his neck. He could stay like that forever, but forever is a long time to ask for in this house.
Donghyuck enters the kitchen and doesn’t even try to be subtle:
“WOAH, TAEYONG HYUNG, YOUR COUSIN AND JAEHYUN ARE MAKING BABIES IN THE KITCHEN.”
If you wanted to kick his face before, now you were ready to kill him. You quickly detach yourself from Jaehyun’s hold, get off the counter and before leaving the room, you hear Jaehyun say:
“Lee Donghyuck, I’m gonna beat the shit out of you.”
In the living room, no one really seemed to care about the information that your younger friend had just screamed. Only Jiwoo and Taeyong looked at you suspiciously, but you shrug and sit down by his side.
“I’m leaving in five.”
“Why? We’re going to the club after this,” he asks, placing an arm around your shoulder “Are you sure you don’t wanna come?” he raises his eyebrows suggestively before laughing at you.
“I just won't go right now because I don’t want people thinking I’m running away from Jaehyun.”
“You are, though.”
“Yes, I am.”
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In the following week, there was no trace of Jaehyun in your life. Your friends were kind enough to not mention what Hyuck had witnessed in their kitchen and you thanked them for that. On Monday, after your Spanish class, the ones who walked you back to your dorm were Johnny and Jiwoo.
You didn’t know how to feel. You missed Jaehyun, a lot. He became part of your routine and not getting any messages from him or not being able to see his smile every day was making you frustrated. At the same time, you were scared of what that kiss in his kitchen meant. Was it the end of your friendship?
It was getting annoying, to say the least. Your mind would often replay the scenes you were trying too hard to forget in the most inconvenient moments. On Tuesday, one of the students had to call your attention because you spent two whole minutes staring at their assignment instead of actually correcting it.
Only on Wednesday, your routine changed a little bit. You had woken up late, almost missing your first class. Then, Mr. Choi finished the class ten minutes later than usual, making you sprint towards the main building to get to the study room as fast as you could since Lucas would be already waiting for you.
Once you entered the main hall and one of the employees scolded you for running inside the building, you started to walk fast, just to bump into the person you were expecting to meet. You as you lose balance, the books and your phone, that were on your hands, fall to the ground. Hendery was fast enough to hold you by your shoulder, helping you to stand up properly.
“Whoa, I guess you’re falling for me, uh?!” he says mischievously and you laugh.
“I almost fell because of you, not for you,” you answer and he grins. “I’m sorry, Mr. Choi took longer than expected, so I had to run and-”
“It’s okay,” he adds playfully “but you had to make up for me. For waiting, you know.”
“Oh, of course!” you nod and start guiding Hendery to the study room “I’ll stay as long as you need to-”
“I meant we can have lunch together, if you don’t mind,” Hendery reaches for your left arm, indicating you to face him.
“Oh,” you exclaim, holding the doorknob “Well if you insist, we can have lunch together.”
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Taeyong gets startled when a backpack is thrown beside him, and a tray full of food is placed on the table with unnecessary strength. Johnny and Jiwoo stopped their forks midway, all eyes were focused on Jaehyun’s distressed face.
“What?” he asks, sounding ruder than he intended.
“We should be the one asking you what’s going on,” Johnny says before putting a big slice of watermelon inside his mouth.
“I brought watermelons. Do you want some?” Jiwoo slides one of the bowls in Jaehyun’s direction but he refuses it.
“I’m fine.”
“Who annoyed you?” Taeyong asks, carefully stealing one of Johnny’s watermelons and receiving a glare from the other guy.
“It’s nothing,” he mumbles and starts eating the food that was on his tray.
“Isn’t Y/N eating with us?” Jaehyun hears Johnny asking his girlfriend and starts sulking even more.
Jaehyun was sitting with a group of his classmates in the building’s lounge, discussing the next assignment while they waited for their next class. He smiled when he spotted your small figure walking fast around the building, but immediately frowned when he saw you colliding with a male figure. “Jaehyun, what do you think?” one of his classmates called his attention. “Uh?” he asked without taking his eyes off you. “We can start the project on Monday. What do you think?” The guy repeated but Jaehyun didn’t pay attention, too focused on the way the tall guy held your shoulders. “Whoa, I guess you’re falling for me, uh?!” He heard the guy and rolled his eyes at the cheesy pickup line. “Yeah, yeah, sure,” he answered and kept staring at you. When you were about to turn left and enter the study room, the tall guy quickly held your arm and said something to you, which surprised you, Jaehyun assumed by the expression on your face. "Well, if you insist, we can have lunch together.” Now, it was Jaehyun’s turn to be left surprised as he catches what you said. What really made his blood boil is the way the tall guy flashed you a flirty smile and the way you mirrored it. Once both of you entered the study room, he instantly stood up, but his knee hit the coffee table in front of him and spilled water in one of his friends. “What the hell, Jae?” Naeun exclaims, looking at the boy and then follows his gaze. “Sorry, Naeun.” he looks at his friend and helps her gather her things “I wasn’t paying attention.” “What were you thinking?” another classmate sighs and Jaehyun takes a quick glance at the closed door. “Don’t you guys think we should discuss this project in the study room?” He suggests holding his backpack and motioning to the door you had just entered, only to be ignored by the others.
“I’m not sure, she usually messages me about lunch,” Jiwoo says, checking her phone.
“I guess she will be busy,” Jaehyun says, not looking at the others at the table “With that guy, Hendery.”
“Oh, did you see them again? Why are you always the one coming across them?” Taeyong chuckles and pat the boy’s back.
“That’s why you are so annoyed then.” Jiwoo nudges her boyfriend “Yesterday, she told me she misses you, Jaehyun.”
“Apparently, Jiwoo and I bother her a lot when we walk her back to the dorms,” Johnny completes.
The boy doesn’t lift his head from the food, pretending not to listen. But he did, and it kills him to know it because he feels the same. Jaehyun didn’t reach out and he assumed that it was his fault. In his defense, he just wants to give you some space, some time to forget about what you did in Yuta’s party. He felt bad because he knows about the way you feel about him and he never, in a million years, wanted to use your feelings like that. Saying that he is just your friend just to kiss you and raise your expectations when he wasn’t even sure about his feelings was definitely a terrible idea. He wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to talk to him again.
“I was kind of a dick,” he mumbles, and Taeyong sighs. “I know she likes me more than just a friend and I didn’t want to give her hopes when I’m not even sure how I feel. I was drunk, that was stupid of me. She must hate me.”
“I’ve heard the drunk excuse once,” Taeyong whispers, and Johnny holds back his laughter.
“Drunk actions are sober thoughts,” Johnny says.
“You have a steamy makeout session with your friends and you say you don’t know how you feel?” Jiwoo asks, using her fork to tap on his tray, calling his attention to her “Yeah, it must be SO hard to figure out how you feel.“ she huffs in annoyance “You are the densest person I know.”
“Y/N is your friend too,” Taeyong adds.
“She is another d, she is dumb,” the girl replies “At least she knows her feelings.”
“Well, sue me for wanting to give her time and space,” Jahyun retorts and before he can resume his lunch, Taeyong grabs the back of his neck.
“Don’t use her feelings as an excuse. We both know you are the one who wants time and space.”
They leave the boy alone, all of them going to their respective classes, but not too long after, he gets a message from Johnny.
[john - 1:46 p.m]: spanish finishes 30 minutes earlier today
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To say you were surprised to see Jaehyun waiting for you outside your classroom was an understatement. At first, you didn’t see him. Then, you thought you were hallucinating. It was only when he smiled and pulled you into a hug that you felt it was real. Your cheeks were burning while he held you way too tight.
“Sorry for not walking you home this week,” he says with his head buried in your hair “I was… busy.”
“It’s fine, you don’t have to walk me home,” you reply, breaking your hug and you almost miss the slightly frustrated expression on his face. Almost.
“But you know I want to.”
You are glad that he decides to not mention that eventful evening. You know that, at some point, it can come back on you and mess your whole relationship, but, right now, all you cared about was Jaehyun’s happy smile while talking to you about the mess Mark made on the club on Saturday and how much fun they had with Sicheng.
Both of you were walking slowly, just appreciating each other’s presence and talking about anything that came to your mind at the moment. Once you arrive at your building, ten minutes later than normal, Jaehyun stops you from entering the building.
“I want to apologize for -”
“It’s okay.” you don’t let him finish. Listening to him apologizing for kissing you it will hurt more than pretending it never happened.
“But you didn’t let me finish,” he insists, but you shake your head.
“I know what you’ll say. It’s alright. I forgive you.”
“Y/N-”
"Jaehyun, don’t,” your voice is stern and he chuckles, raising his arm in defense.
“Alright. Then let me take you to the arcade on Friday after class,” he says, his ears getting red as he does “Remember you said you wanted to go there? Let’s go together. It’s my official apology.”
“I said I forgive you, you don’t need to-”
“This is my official apology, you need to come so I can be officially forgiven,” he smirks and you laugh. He was always so smooth to get what he wanted. “Then we can go to the party.”
“What party?” you frown in confusion.
“Our party, this Friday. You need to come,” you groan in annoyance and let your head fall back “Come on, I’m sure Jiwoo is coming too.”
“She will just spend the whole night with Johnny,” you plead him with your eyes.
“Then you can spend it with me.”
And when Friday came, you realized you can’t say no to Jaehyun.
You had an amazing time at the arcade. Even though you only arrived there around four, because of your classes, Jaehyun made sure to show you his favorite games and you even managed to win him sometimes - he will never admit that though, he will insist that he went easy on you. When it was around seven both of you decided to go back, since, now, he finally convinced you to go to the party.
Despite your protests, Jaehyun walked you back to your dorm and gave you one hour to get ready, saying that you shouldn’t be late. You get to your room with a silly smile on your face and spot Jiwoo starting to apply her makeup, but she doesn’t notice you coming in. You notice a dark red dress resting on her bed. It had an insufficient amount of cloth to cover her body on a chilly night like this, but maybe she wouldn’t need to worry about cold weather inside a house full of people dancing.
“I see that you are ready to kill Johnny tonight,” you say loudly, startling her.
“You do this on purpose, don’t you?” she looks at you and rolls her eyes when she looks at your innocent face “Do you like it?” she points at her dress and you nod, “I think Johnny will like it too.”
“Gross,” you joke and she shows you her tongue
“How was your date?”
“It wasn’t a date.” you start humming the first song that’s in your head “Do you think I will look too ugly wearing this?” you ask by placing one of your blouses in front of you.
“Why? Where are you going?” Jiwoo doesn’t spare you a glance.
“To the party,” you place the blouse back into the drawer and take one of your favorite t-shirts instead, “Jaehyun told me I had one hour to get ready,” you mumble the last part and the other girl stops everything and slowly turns her body to face you.
“You can’t be serious right now!” a grin adorned her face while she looked at you holding an eyelash extension. “You are so in love with each other.”
“No, we are not. We are just friends,” you state matter-of-factly “He just said I should have some fun and ended up convincing me to go to the party.”
“You say as if it’s easy to convince you to go to frat parties,” she turns back to finish her makeup. “If you give me fifteen minutes, I’ll help you get ready.”
“There’s no need for that, don’t worry.”
“Yes, there is. Go take your shower. Go, go.”
You sigh and make your way to the bathroom. If you were fast enough, you could avoid Jiwoo and the makeover you were sure she was planning. Every time you go to an event together, she makes sure to doll you up. Suddenly, flashes from last Saturday cross your mind. You definitely shouldn’t let her choose your outfit again. The last time didn’t go well.
After showering and washing your hair, you see your phone light up and Jaehyun’s face illustrating the screen. You hung up the call to finish drying your hair, but he insisted another five times before starting messaging.
[Jae - 8:14pm]: do u hate me???
[Jae - 8:14pm]: pick up the phone
[Jae - 8:15pm]: y/n
[Jae - 8:15pm]: if u don’t pick up imma be sad
[Jae - 8:15pm]: :/
[Jae - 8:26pm]: are u ignoring me????
[Jae - 8:28pm]: talk to me
[Jae - 8:28pm]: plssss
[Jae - 8:29pm]: i know u r reading my messages
[You - 8:30pm]: omg
[You - 8:30pm]: u are so annoying
[You - 8:31pm]: i was taking a shower
[You - 8:31pm]: do you want me to be dirty????
[You - 8:31pm]: what do u want?
[Jae - 8:32pm]: i forgive you then
[Jae - 8:32pm]: r u ready?
[You - 8:33pm]: almost? i need to hurry up
[You - 8:33pm]: jiwoo must be ready
[You - 8:34pm]: and i’m going with her
[Jae - 8:34pm]: nooo :(
[You - 8:34pm]: ??
[Jae - 8:35pm]: i’m waiting for you outside
[Jae - 8:35pm]: walk with me instead
You stare at your screen for some seconds before thinking of a reply. Why did Jaehyun come all the way to your dorm to pick you up? Is he insane? Is he trying purposefully making you fall for him just to crush your heart later? Is that the reason why he gave you one hour to get ready? He barely waited thirty minutes, though.
[You - 8:36pm]: ok..
[You - 8:36pm]: i’ll be down in 5
You run back to your room and throw everything on your bed, not caring about the mess. Jiwoo is finishing her hair and was almost ready to put on her shoes. You throw the wet towel that was in your hair on the floor and take the first pair of shoes you find.
“If you are rushing just to avoid me, forget it. You’ll only leave this room once you look presentable to a party. Look at you!” she scoffs but you barely listen to her
“No, not now. I need to go,” you pant and grab the first lipstick you found “Jaehyun’s downstairs.”
“HE WHAT?” she shouts and screams incoherent words afterward. You were sure the whole floor had heard her. “YOU CAN’T MEET HIM LOOKING LIKE A WET DOG. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN DRIED YOUR HAIR PROPERLY!”
“Stop screaming!!” you plead and try to find a hairbrush “It will dry naturally.”
“NATURALLY?” Abigail punches the wall behind Jiwoo but she doesn’t seem to notice or care about it “Come on, if you don’t want to change your outfit, at least let me dry your hair.”
“He has been waiting outside for a while now.”
“It won’t kill him to wait another fifteen minutes.” she grabs the hairdryer and goes to your direction, but you deflect “It’s either the hair or the outfit. You will have to change SOMETHING.”
You know how stubborn your friend can be, so you just drop the matter without fighting and let her do her thing. While you use the hairdryer, she chooses something from your drawers, while threatening to lock you out of your shared room if you don’t wear her outfit.
You regret not running away while you could when she hands you the same black skinny jeans from last time. You should have burned it last week. She chooses a crop top that was probably hers and throws your favorite denim jacket at you.
“Just so you won’t complain about being cold.”
You rush to get to the front of the building as fast as possible, just to find Jaehyun leaning his back against the lamppost. You can’t deny your heart skipped a beat at the sight. He is there, waiting for you. His head is hung low, eyes fixed on his phone. Jaehyun had the same outfit from the first time you met him at your first frat party: long-sleeved black shirt and black skinny jeans, looking just as good as the first time.
“Sorry, I’m late. It’s Jiwoo’s fault,” you say once you’re next to him.
His eyes scan your body up and down and you see a faint smirk on his face. “I like your jeans,” he adds suggestively.
“I hope I won’t feel cold, Jiwoo chose this crop top to wear at night!” you say to yourself, not realizing what the boy has just implied. Jaehyun was behind you, still checking you out, which if you had noticed, would have made you blush “You gave me an hour to get ready, though. I barely had time to dry my hair, it will look ugly later.”
“I doubt it,” he answers back and rushes to hold your hand in his. “Sorry, I guess I just wanted to see you soon.” He notices how you tense up and smiles at the way you tighter your grip around his hands.
“Stop it.” you warn him “You didn’t have to pick me up though, I could go with Jiwoo.”
“I came to pick you up because I heard creeps are hovering around the girl’s dorm.”
“Who told you that?” you ask, adjusting your hands together. Holding Jaehyun’s hand was more pleasing than you wanted to admit. It felt familiar.
“Johnny.” you laugh at him who looks at you confused “What?”
“Do you seriously believe in Johnny? There’s 24/7 security around our building,” you smile at him who mirrors your expression, showing you his dimples. “He just uses it as an excuse to always give Jiwoo a ride,”
“Well, I guess he just worries about his girlfriend,” the boy gives your hand a little squeeze, making you look at him “Tell me when you’ll leave the party so I can walk you back, okay?”
“You don’t need to,” you turn your head to the front. If you keep staring at Jaehyun while he is being so caring, you’ll collapse there and then.
“I want to, silly. It’s dangerous to walk around by yourself at night.”
“So I assume you will fight whoever tries to hurt me?” you ask humorously, a smile on your face.
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Jaehyun tried to stay with you the whole night, but his friends weren’t helping. It all started as soon as you got to the house and Taeyong asked him to carry heavy boxes inside and stole your attention away from the boy. When he finally found you again, you were in a circle with Donghyuck, Taeyong, Taeil, and some girls he didn’t recognize, drinking some weird mixture they made. Before he could reach you, though, Yuta forced him to pair up in a beer pong game.
What he hated the most, though, was when he spotted you in the crowd for the third time that night. You were already tipsy, more prone to smile, and your smile was simply breathtaking to Jaehyun. But you weren’t smiling for him. It was Hendery Wong who was making you laugh and it was the other boy’s arm you were holding to steady yourself in place. Jaehyun hated, even more, all the times the boy would lean his body to whisper something to you and how he took advantage of that position to hold you by the waist, his hand resting on your lower back, bringing your bodies closer. Too close to Jaehyun’s liking.
“Stop staring, hyung,” Donghyuck says propping himself up against the kitchen’s counter. “Or else I will think you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous and I’m not staring.” Jaehyun sips his beer without taking his eyes off the couple.
“Yeah, why would you feel jealous of a funny and hot guy who is clearly hitting on Y/N?” Donghyuck says sarcastically and steals the drink from Jaehyun.
“He is shamelessly flirting with her for ages,” The boy tears his gaze apart from the couple to look at the younger who was drinking his beer. “Do you believe he used the ‘I think you are falling for me’ pick up line with her? And then inviting her to have lunch with him when she usually eats with me- us?”
“Who are we talking about?” Yuta arrives with two shot glasses in hand, filled with blue liquid.
“Take a wild guess.” Donghyuck rolls his eyes and goes to the dance floor.
“Do you want it?” the older boy offers and Jaehyun gladly takes it, feeling his throat burning with the alcohol. “What’s going on?”
“Hendery Wong.” the younger says looking back to the tall guy touching your body the way he wanted to.
Yuta follows Jaehyun’s eyes and hisses at the sight “I don’t wanna get punched in the face  but” he whistles and looks back at his friend “I don’t blame the kid, she looks hot as fuck tonight.”
“If you don’t wanna get punched, then close this filthy mouth of yours.” Jaehyun’s expression darkens and Yuta only laughs, tapping the guy on the shoulder.
Jaehyun considered approaching you. Fuck him, every time he saw Hendery touching your hair or smiling at you, he wanted to go there and punch that sly smirk out of the boy’s face. What would be his excuse, though? He didn’t know why he suddenly felt so protective around you, but it was eating him up.
“How’s tonight going, Jeffrey?” a cheerful Johnny appeared beside him “You looked so happy playing beer pong with Yuta.”
“Can’t you see I’m having the time of my life,” the younger one says sarcastically and takes the bottle of beer from Johnny’s hand.
“Your face says otherwise,” the tall one chuckles and glances towards you. “Just go there and ask her to dance.”
“She already has a date.” Johnny smiles and waves at someone “I don’t want to bother them.”
“It’s surprising they haven’t caught you staring yet. Jiwoo and I have been watching you and your jealousy attack for more than fifteen minutes.” He shakes hands with two guys who were passing by and complimented his music playlist for the party. “She likes you, you know? I’m sure she would dump anyone if you asked.”
“Why would I ask her that?” Jaehyun sounds offended. He didn’t want you to dump anyone for him. “She’s just a friend. A good friend. That’s why I want the best for her.”
“And I assume that, in your judgment, Hendery is not the best for her,” Johnny sips his drink and nudges his friend “but you are, aren’t you?”
“Hendery is not the best for her and everyone knows it. He is an exchange student, they start dating and what happens when he needs to move back to China?" Jaehyun crosses his arms in front of his chest, visibly irritated. “I just don’t want her to get hurt.”
“Oh, Jaehyun, please,” the older boy rests his arm on Jaehyun’s shoulder and leans closer to the boy’s ear “Just admit that you like her.”
“I don’t like her like that.”
“Yeah, right, so I guess now you call steamy makeout sessions, friendly conversations.”
“Can you not mention that? I was drunk.” Jaehyun snaps and slaps Johnny’s arm away from him “I only like her as a friend. Stop annoying the shit out of me. You, Donghyuck, Yuta, even Taeyong was bugging me this week. Cut the dating bullshit, for fucks sake!”
“Yeah, you take her on dates, make out with her in our kitchen, and now is jealous of Hendery blatantly flirting with her because you are just friends.” Johnny finishes his drink before placing the empty bottle on the counter “you definitely don’t like her.”
It was probably the alcohol, but Jaehyun was mad. He was so mad that he stormed out of the kitchen before he started a fight with Johnny. Why was everyone pressuring him about jealousy? He was only trying to take care of you. He knew about your little crush on him and that’s why he made sure to tell everyone that you were only friends. And friends care about each other.
He sighs and sits on the sidewalk, away from the party and from the stares. Away from you and Hendery. What was happening to him? He lays his back on the grass and closes his eyes. His mind reminds him of the way you looked so concentrated while watching the boring movie the first time you went out together. You looked so cute, biting your lips and barely blinking. He remembered the way you sang your heart out to all the High School Musical songs and how much he loves making you laugh, just to see your smile. He remembered all the times you tensed up when he held your hands, but after seconds were adjusting yourself. His heart starts beating faster when the image of you sleeping on his bed appears on his mind. The way you were peacefully sleeping beside him and how all he wanted to was hold you and never let go. His skin seems to burn with the memory of the feeling of your fingers tracing his skin, your lips on his and the way you ground against his body last Saturday.
“Fuck,” he mouths.
Lastly, he remembered how unbelievably pretty you look tonight. Damn, Yuta was right, you were hot. You look absolutely stunning and he wants you badly. He sighed thinking about how all of his friends know him so well. How could he keep lying to himself like that? Saying that he isn’t jealous when all he is thinking about is how great it must feel to be in Hendery’s shoes right now.
“What are you doing here?” he doesn’t need to open his eyes to know who it was.
“I’m tired.”
“Then go to your room. This is literally your house!” you hold his hand and try to force him to stand up “Come on, Jae.”
“I’m fine. Just go back inside. Enjoy the party.” he stays in the same position, eyes completely closed.
You huff in annoyance at his behavior. How dare him, tell you to enjoy the party when you only came because he asked you to.
“If you’re not standing up, then I’m leaving,” you threaten, but the boy doesn’t move. Why was he being like that? “Fine then. Once you decide to tell me what’s wrong, text me. Goodnight, Jae.”
You say, walking away from the boy laying on the grass. Five minutes ago Jiwoo came to you and told you to talk to Jaehyun, he looked stressed. Why was he stressed when he was supposed to have fun? You thought to yourself. But you had to admit you were more relieved than sad for not having the opportunity to spend the night with Jaehyun. After what happened the last time both of you drank a little too much, you decided it was risky to be too close to him and alcohol.
You couldn’t stop thinking about his actions, though. Movie dates, the way he always looked after you, he even remembered how much you wanted to go to an arcade and took you there. Your heart was confused. Could it be more than friendship? You cherished Jaehyun beyond anything you could explain, you didn’t want to ruin things with him.
You might have started your relationship weirdly. Looking back to the day you woke up beside him after a party, it felt like years ago. Because that’s exactly how Jaehyun makes you feel like you’ve known him for years. The more you got to know him, the more he seemed to grow on you. He was sweet, caring, and an absolute dork. He never failed to make you laugh and was always ready to listen to what you had to say, either if it was a joke or if you were just complaining about something. He would let you use his expensive pens just because you were curious about how they were. He listened to your messy playlist even though he absolutely hated 70% of the songs you put there. He is interested in you as a person. He makes you feel special and you can’t express how much you are happy to be by his side.
“Y/N, I told you that I would walk you home!” he shouts from behind you. “Wait for me.”
You hate how he could make your heart beat faster just by calling your name
“I thought you wanted to be alone.” you shrug and slow down your pace.
“Why are you walking so slowly?” he grabs your hand and pulls you forward “Just because I’m walking you it doesn’t mean I’m not afraid of someone attacking us at 1 in the morning.” you laugh at his sentence and he can’t fight back the smile that appears on his face.
“What happened to the guy who said he would protect me?” you question him, poking his ribs.
“I’ll only fight people unless it’s completely necessary. I don’t know if you realized, but I prefer to avoid confrontation.” his thumb starts caressing the back of your hand and you feel butterflies flying on your stomach.
“I like this way,” you softly say “I wouldn’t want to see you hurting.”
“Stop saying things like that, it makes me wanna kiss you,” he mumbles.
It makes me wanna kiss you.
Did you hear it correctly? Was he jokingly flirting with you or did he mean that? You didn’t have the guts to ask. The rest of the walk was silent, the only noise coming from your rhythmic steps on the concrete. Once you see the back of your building, informing you you are close to your destination, you try to take your hands away from Jaehyun’s grasp, but he only holds it tighter.
“No,” he pleaded quietly “not yet.”
You hum in response and keep walking beside him, holding his hand.
“Text me when you get home,” you say to him once you are in front of your building. You wait for him to leave so you can get inside, but he doesn’t move. “Are you not going home? Do you need anything?”
“I do.”
“What is it?”
“Can you hug me?”
Your breath is caught on your throat at his sudden request. What was wrong with Jaehyun tonight? You didn’t know he became clingy when he drank. Either way, you comply with his request and circle your arms around his waist and place your head on his chest. Jaehyun was warmer than remembered. You hear his heartbeat increase and smile softly. Was he as nervous as you were?
“Don’t date Hendery,” he blurts out and you frown, not understanding where this came from.
“Why would I-”
“I was so fucking pissed at the way he looked at you and it killed me that I don’t have the right to complain about it because we are just friends,” he says in one breath and you try to get away from his hold to have a look at his face, but he holds you closer “The way he touched you got me frustrated to the point that I had to go outside or I would have picked up a fight.”
“He was just being-”
“I swear to god, if you say friendly, I’ll kill myself,” he says pushing you away from him and you can see him scowling at you.
“He was being too friendly,” you say smiling mischievously and Jaehyun scoffs.
“Weren’t you uncomfortable with the way he was holding you?” he asked in disbelief.
“To be honest, I think you are exaggerating. I was really tipsy, he was just making sure I wouldn’t fall.” you say and Jaehyun rolls his eyes “What? He was basically just hugging me. We hug all the time.”
“You two hug all the time?” he almost screams and you put your hand on his lips.
“Shhh don’t scream!” you say, moving your hand from his lips to his shoulder. “I meant us. You and me. You hug me all the time too.”
“But I’m your friend and he is your student, who is clearly hitting on you, by the way,” he says placing his hands on your hips, but you don’t seem to realize.
“What, Jaehyun, is this jealousy?” you smile as the words leave your lips as a joke
“Yes, this is fucking jealousy.” he snaps for the second time tonight “I am fucking jealous because that kid has been hitting on you since you first started tutoring him and you don’t realize that.”
“Woah, hold on! Stop saying nonsense.”
“You are so frustrating,” he mumbles and brings you closer by circling his arms around your waist. “Please don’t date Hendery.”
“I won’t date any-”
"Date me instead."
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You feel someone sliding their hand into the back pocket of your jeans and smirk.
“Stop that,” you nudge his side “frat boy.”
“Why do you keep pretending you don’t like it when I do this?” Jaehyun rolls his eyes and brings you closer to his side “Lunch at 1?”
“It’s good for me.” you nod and stay on your toes to reach for his cheeks. “Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”
“It got canceled,” he says taking his hand out of your pocket and placing it on your waist. “Let me carry those for you.”
“It’s fine, we’re almost there.”
“Let me be a good boyfriend and carry your stuff for you.” he takes the books out of your hands and kisses your temple.
You have been dating for a while now, but every time he reminds you he is your boyfriend, it never fails to make your heart flutter. You smile widely, poking the dimples on his face and Jaehyun pretends to be annoyed, when, in fact, he loved how happy you looked.
Once you arrived at the main building, you thought Jaehyun would leave you by yourself, but he made sure to escort you to the study room. Once you turn down the hall, your boyfriend spots a certain someone waiting for you outside. Jaehyun stops a few meters away and hands you your books back, but before you can thank him, he pulls you by your belt loops and crashes his lips on yours.
You get surprised at his sudden action but kisses him for a little while after pushing him with your books, whining about being in public. Jaehyun finishes by giving pecks on your neck, jaw, and cheek. Before you can ask why he did that, you spot the long haired Chinese boy in front of library's the study room. He is clearly avoiding looking at your direction. You hit your boyfriend’s arm with the books on your hands.
“I can’t believe you were putting on a show with Hendery standing right there. You are so childish.”
“Yet, you love me the same,” he snickers, giving you one last peck on the lips “I just want to make sure he knows you’re taken.”
2K notes · View notes
wholoveseggs · 9 months ago
Note
Can I maybe have an angst/fluff where the reader had turned her humanity off and Elijah is trying his best to flip it back on? Thank you!! Love your work 💕
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Forgiveness
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
After a tragic event you flip your humanity switch and begin to terrorize the Quarter. You have to be put down for the good of the city, but your husband will stop at nothing to save you.
♡♡ Thanks for the request anon(s) sorry it took so long! ♡♡
5.5k words - Warnings: so so so angsty, violent, reader does some evil shit, a bit of sex but its not sexy, this is definitely the darkest thing I've ever written.. you want angst??? you get angst.
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Marcel sat on a stool in a dimly lit bar, staring into his glass of whiskey. He wondered how much more loss he could take, and when it would finally break him.
He was experiencing a kind of helplessness he hadn't experienced since he was a boy, sneaking half rotten apples in his shirt, running home as fast as he could so he wouldn't be caught.
He couldn't outrun his feelings now. They followed him wherever he went, nipping at his heels, mocking him for the things he couldn't fix, the things he couldn't undo.
It wasn't his fault, not really, yet he felt guilty, because a part of him still cared for you. Even after all you had done. All you had become.
He was pulled out from his melancholy by one of his nightwalkers, a vampire called Arthur, a man who had served in the first World War, and came to New Orleans, looking for the easy life.
He sat down next to Marcel and placed a gold chain necklace on the table, it had distinct little jewels, each one a different color. Marcel recognized it instantly and his heart sank at the flecks of blood still clinging to it.
"Jean," he said softly, picking the necklace up and examining it.
Arthur nodded his head. "I found her in an alleyway, anyone could of come across it," he told Marcel.
"How bad?" Marcel asked, already knowing the answer.
"Not pretty. I got rid of the body."
"Thanks," Marcel said, and he meant it. He didn't want a bunch of human detectives finding the body and raising questions. "I told Jean not to go after her," he said, shaking his head, the weight of his regret was almost crushing.
Arthur poured himself a drink, and looked at Marcel with a raised brow.
"What else was she supposed to do? Sit at the bar and mope while her friends are slaughtered," he said, taking a swig.
"You know it's not that simple," Marcel told him.
Arthur sighed, "I know," he said, "but we gotta stop her, she's killing us off, one by one,"
Marcel finished his drink, his knuckles turning white around the glass.
"Yeah," he agreed, his voice breaking, "I know."
He looked down at his glass, watching the amber liquid swirl around, wondering if he could ever drink enough to forget who you used to be, if he would ever get you back. The ironic part was that he needed some solid advice and the person he usually would go to was you.
He threw his glass on the ground and it shattered on the floor, causing the other vampires in the bar to jump.
"Fuck," he yelled, standing up, looking around at his people. "Listen up, she got Jean," he paused as the crowd murmured in shock, "and I'm not gonna stand here and let her kill anyone else," he announced.
"What about Elijah?" A young vampire asked.
"Fuck him," Marcel shouted, "he will let us all die before he hurts his precious wife."
"If you see her, bring her to me, and I will give you the daylight ring of your choice," he promised, and the crowd cheered.
"Now go, and do not approach her alone," he ordered, and the group dispersed.
"We got this Marcel," Arthur told him.
Marcel gave him a nod and watched him leave. His heart broke for what he knew he had to do. He would stop you, no matter what it took.
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A soft low moan came tumbling past your lips as you rocked your hips forward, and dug your nails deeper into the neck of the man beneath you. His eyes were closed in a mix of ecstasy and pain, and his hips thrust upwards, chasing the pleasure you were giving him.
"Don't cum," you compelled him, and his body tensed beneath you.
"Please," he begged, his hands reaching for you, grabbing your thighs and squeezing.
You moaned and lifted yourself up, and then slammed down onto him, hard. He cried out in pleasure, his eyes rolling into the back of his head.
"Please," he choked out, and you could see the tears pooling in his eyes.
You were getting tired of him. His stamina was abysmal, and you assumed that since he was covered in tattoos he enjoyed a bit of pain. You had been disappointed when you had learned that wasn't the case.
"Don't be a bitch," you spat, "and shut up."
He nodded, and you could tell he was struggling. You sighed, and grabbed him roughly by the hair, pulling his head to the side and exposing his neck.
He groaned, and you bit into his neck, making sure your teeth sliced deep. Blood poured from his neck, you could taste a hint of the endorphins rushing through him and smiled. You sucked on his wound, and began moving again.
His breathing hitched, and his whole body was shaking, you knew it wouldn't take long for him to reach his orgasm.
"You can cum now," you told him, and he moaned, and his fingers dug into your hips.
You continued rocking into him, and a few seconds later he let out a strangled cry, and you could feel his cock throbbing inside of you.
You smiled through bloodied teeth then sunk your fangs back into his neck, tasting the flood of endorphins. You continued to drink, feeling him struggle underneath you.
"Too much," he wheezed, trying to push you away, but he was far too weak.
You kept going until his breathing slowed, and his body stopped moving. You pulled back and let his body slump onto the bed, looking down disappointedly.
"I don't even get an orgasm out of it," you complained, rolling your eyes.
You lifted yourself off him, stretching and cracking your neck.
You glanced over at the woman laying in the chair in the corner of the room, and frowned. You had forgotten about her. She was alive, her chest rising and falling, her heartbeat thumping loudly.
You had compelled her to be silent and still, she was doing an excellent job. You stood up and walked towards her. She stared at you with wide, terrified eyes. You were naked, and covered in blood, it dripped down your face, and neck, and coated your breasts and legs.
"Oh, honey," you cooed, brushing her hair out of her face. "I'm so sorry, was that your boyfriend?"
The woman whimpered, tears spilling out of her eyes, and you shushed her, gently running your thumb over her bottom lip.
"You shouldn't stay with a cheater," you told her, and she looked at you in confusion, "and you should choose better men," you advised, then snapped her neck.
You went to the bathroom, and turned the shower on, and stepped under the hot stream, letting the water wash away the blood and cum.
Your mind was calm, the only thought swirling around in your head was your desire to drink and fuck, and the two together was an amazing combination.
You washed yourself quickly, then found a dress and slid it over your wet body. It clung to your skin, but you didn't mind.
You put on some jewelry you found and checked yourself out in the mirror. You were beautiful, and the darkness behind your eyes made you look deadly.
You smiled, satisfied with your appearance, and left the hotel, deciding to find your next victim.
New Orleans was a big city, but it was full of sin, and you loved walking the streets, feeling its pulse, and knowing that somewhere there was a soul aching for you to feed on.
You could have compelled yourself a meal, but where was the fun in that? There was something so satisfying about hunting and the chase was exhilarating.
You walked down a back street, thinking about having a redhead for dinner when the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, and your stomach clenched.
You were being followed.
You sped up and the person followed suit, and you smiled. Finally, something to cure your boredom. You took a sharp left, and the footsteps following you became hurried.
"Fuck," a male voice shouted, and you laughed, and took another left, and then a right, and a left again. Leading them exactly where you wanted.
You were back near the hotel, and you slipped into the alleyway and waited. You were going to enjoy this.
You didn't have to wait long, a few seconds later a vampire rounded the corner and stopped when he saw you.
"Arthurrr, it's been a while," you said, licking your lips. "I thought you and your merry band of idiots would have learned their lesson by now," you told him.
"Well, you know me, I'm a slow learner," he replied, standing at the head of the alley, his arms crossed.
"Jean was such a nice girl, you guys were together, right?" You asked, knowing full well they were.
"We were," Arthur said, his jaw clenching, and you could see the hurt in his eyes.
"She was so sweet, always so eager to please," you continued, taking a step towards him, "and so willing to do anything for those she loved," you said, pausing, "it's a shame that you're all so willing to die for one another," you finished, taking another step forward.
"Has Elijah seen you like this?" Arthur asked, taking a step back, his hand sliding into his pocket.
"What, covered in blood and looking sexy as hell," you replied, grinning at him.
"No, like a monster."
Arthur watched you freeze, a flicker of emotion crossing your face. It was gone as fast as it came and your expression went cold again and you smirked at him.
It hurt him to see you like this, you had been his friend for decades. But this wasn't about him and you, it was even about his beloved Jean. He didn't care if Elijah would tear him apart for it. He would not let you hurt another person he loved. He had to put you down, like a rabid dog.
"Isn't that what we are Artie? Monsters."
"Not all of us," he said, his voice cracking.
"Come on, don't be shy," you said, stepping closer, "I'll let you get a hit in."
Arthur reached into his pocket and felt the needle he prepared. You were much older and stronger than he was, but all he had to do was get close enough to you and shove the needle into your skin and maybe he could end this nightmare
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Marcel knelt down over Arthur's body, or at least what was left of it. He didn't have anymore tears left in him to shed.
"I'm sorry, my friend, go be with Jean," he whispered, closing Arthur's eyes.
"And Mark, Jessa, Sean, Patrick..." Said a voice from behind him.
Marcel closed his eyes and sighed, turning around and looking up at Elijah.
"How can you be so fucking callous?" Marcel snarled.
Elijah didn't know how to respond. He was numb, and the pain had become too much. He was barely holding himself together, the only thing keeping him going was his promise.
He was going to save you, no matter the cost.
"Are you just going to stand there and act like you don't care?" Marcel spat, standing up, anger and resentment coursing through him.
"Don't make this any worse than it already is," Elijah said.
"You are killing us!" Marcel shouted, taking a step towards him.
Elijah shook his head and clenched his fists, and Marcel saw the pain in his eyes. He stopped himself and took a breath.
"Elijah, she is out of control, you need to do something," he said, his voice softer.
"I know," Elijah agreed. "But... she's... I can't, not yet," he stuttered, his voice breaking, "just a few more days," he pleaded, looking at Marcel desperately.
"A few more days," Marcel scoffed, "Elijah, if you don't stop her, I will have to kill her."
Elijah flashed forward and shoved Marcel into the wall.
"You won't lay a finger on her," Elijah growled, his face inches from Marcel's.
"I don't want to," Marcel told him, and Elijah could see the truth in his eyes. "But I can't let her keep doing this, you can't expect us to sit around and let her murder everyone we love."
"Marcel..." Elijah warned, his grip tightening.
"Elijah, this has to stop," Marcel said, shoving Elijah back, "I have to stop her, before she kills the whole fucking Quarter," he exclaimed, his eyes glistening.
"I know you Mikaelsons only care about yourselves, so let me put this in a way you will understand." Marcel took a breath, and tried to remain calm. "We can't hide what she's doing anymore. The humans are scared, and are starting to ask questions. If this continues, they will figure out that we exist, and the whole world will come down on New Orleans, and none of us will make it out alive."
Elijah's shoulders slumped and he sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"What would you have me do, Marcel?" Elijah asked, his voice soft and defeated.
"Turn her humanity back on."
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You felt like shit, cold yet hot, your throat was on fire and every limb ached. You sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, and blinked several times. Your vision was blurry, and it took a moment for the room to come into focus.
You thought it was just vervain in that needle, nothing a couple of drinks couldn't fix, but when you started to see things that weren't there, you realized that Arthur must have dosed you up with wolfsbane.
You managed to crawl into some hole of an apartment to hide from the hallucinations, hoping when you woke up you would be feeling better.
But it didn't, you were dying. You could feel it.
"No," you moaned, falling back against the wall, the reality of your situation sinking in.
"You didn't think I would just let you die," a soft, familiar voice spoke.
"You're not real," you told him, refusing to look at him.
"That doesn't mean I'm not here."
You looked up and Elijah was standing in front of you. You sighed and closed your eyes, but he was still there, in your mind.
"What kind of monster are you?" He asked and you laughed.
"Child killer," you answered, looking at him, his expression was blank. "Murderer, adulterer, thief, blasphemer..." You listed, but he remained expressionless.
"Whore," he added and you laughed again.
"I'm a terrible wife," you said, smiling.
"You are a monster," he repeated.
"So are you," you snapped.
"I never claimed to be otherwise," he said.
"If you are real you should kill me," you suggested.
"I'm not real," he reminded you.
"I know, the real you would never call me a whore," you replied, and he chuckled.
"I'm dying Elijah," you stated, your eyes welling up with tears, "this is it, I can feel it."
"What are you going to do about it?"
You took a deep breath and stood up, leaning against the wall for support.
"I'm going to go get the cure," you decided, stumbling out into the night.
The compound wasn't far from the apartment, and the cold air helped you wake up, and your head was clearer, and you could focus on your destination.
"Why not let yourself die?" Elijah asked, walking alongside you.
"Living is much more fun, so many possibilities," you said, "food, sex, money..."
"Family, friends..." He added.
"Waste of time," you dismissed, waving him away, watching him dissolve.
You pushed through the iron gates, trying your best to compose yourself. You entered the courtyard and saw a few nightwalkers scattered around, they didn't notice you and continued drinking and chatting.
"Where is Klaus?" You asked loudly.
Everyone turned and looked at you, and the room fell silent. All you could see was their fear and it amused you.
"I will not ask again," you said, smiling sweetly.
"In his studio," someone answered, and you gave them a nod, and walked past then, heading upstairs.
You barged right in and found him standing in front of an easel, painting. He only painted when he was troubled, and his canvas was filled with darkness and death.
"Lovely," you commented, walking towards him.
Klaus didn't turn to look at you, he simply continued to paint. "Elijah isn't home, but I expect you know that already," he said.
"How perceptive," you remarked.
"To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" He asked.
"I need your blood," you told him.
"Rather bold of you to ask, considering the circumstances," he said, finally turning to look at you.
You didn't know what to say. You had no words, and for once you were lost for a witty remark. You just stared at him, and he studied you.
"I've been hearing about your extracurriculars," he said, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"Is that so," you replied, and the corners of your mouth curled up.
"Killing a child, now that's unexpected," he remarked.
You ignored him, unable to respond, because it wasn't something you wanted to think about. You could see your hallucination of Elijah staring at you from the corner of the room. A small child appeared next to him, blood pouring out of her neck.
"Why didn't you save me?" She asked, her eyes filled with pain and betrayal.
"Shut up," you whispered, shaking your head.
"She died in pain, and you did nothing," the vision of Elijah said, and you closed your eyes, trying to will it all away. It was becoming irritating.
"I'm sure the mother will be most upset," Klaus said.
"Spare me the guilt trip, you've done far worse," you spat, opening your eyes, relieved the visions had disappeared.
Klaus observed your disheveled state and noticed how much you were sweating, and the dark circles under your eyes. You were clearly unwell, and it explained why you risked coming back to the compound. You really did need his blood.
"I have, love. But that's just who I am, it's not who you are," he replied, turning back to his canvas.
"Well, I've always wanted to try the whole serial killer thing," you said, trying to sound light-hearted, but the joke fell flat, and neither of you laughed.
"So you killed the child because you wanted to? Because you enjoy doing such things? I'm not even that diabolical." He chuckled, adding a bit of white to the canvas.
"Yes, Klaus, I wanted to kill her, I wanted her to suffer, and I wanted to see the look on her mother's face as I did it."
Klaus set his brush down, and turned back to you. "That's a lie, it was an accident, Marcel told me," he said, watching your eyes widen, and your face fall.
"It was an accident," the little girl's ghost said, appearing in front of you.
You stumbled back, bumping into the sofa, and the girl was right in front of you.
"Why didn't you save me?" She repeated, tears filling her eyes.
"FUCK!" You yelled, your hands gripping the sides of your head.
"Wolfsbane is one hell of a trip," Klaus said casually, watching you stumble back from something he couldn't see.
"If you won't give me your blood, just kill me, I rather not die in agony," you told him.
"Do you think you deserve it?" He asked.
"Deserve what? Death, mercy, life? Who knows, who cares," you answered.
"I think Elijah does," Klaus said, and you froze.
"I'm not talking about this with you," you said, turning to leave.
"Despite what you may think, I do consider you family, even in the state you are in," he said, and he saw the look of surprise on your face.
"Ahh, there it is," he said softly, "a flicker of feeling just under the surface, fight your way back y/n," he encouraged.
Frustration was the only thing you were feeling and you lashed out, pushing over his easel, knocking his paints off the table.
He raised his eyebrows at your outburst and laughed, it was a rough, genuine laugh, and he grinned at you.
"Very well, Elijah wouldn't be pleased if I let you die and I kind of like you like this," he admitted, "though, you are rather irritable."
You stopped yourself from talking back, just needing to get your hands on his blood. You didn't want to waste any more time with him.
"Now, what am I going to ask in return," Klaus said, stroking his chin, "something I've been wanting for a very long time."
"If you want to fuck you don't have to bribe me," you told him.
"As tempting as that is, no," he said, grinning. "I want a favor, in the future," he offered.
"You're going to have to be more specific."
"That's the beauty of a favor, it can be anything," he said.
"Fine," you snapped, "blood now please,"
Klaus smirked and opened a drawer in the table, taking out a vial and handing it to you. You snatched it from his hand and uncapped the lid, gulping the blood down.
"What hallucinations were you having?" He asked, and you froze, and he laughed.
"Private ones," you replied, placing the empty vial on the table.
"You're no fun," he pouted. "You have my blood now, get out," he said, returning to his canvas.
You didn't argue, leaving him to his painting, and returned to the main courtyard. You stood there, trying to figure out your next move. You knew what was waiting for you if you turned your humanity back on. Guilt and self-loathing, and the pain of knowing what you've done, and not being able to take it back.
You needed to leave the city before they forced you to turn it back on. There was nothing here for you anyway, not anymore.
"That's her," you heard someone say, and looked around.
"Are you sure?" Another asked.
"I'm sure," the first one confirmed.
They were staring right at you, but the fear in their eyes from earlier was gone, replaced with anger and resentment. You smiled and flashed forward, snapping the neck of the vampire who had identified you.
The rest charged, and you were surrounded by vampires, but it wasn't a challenge. You were far older and stronger than them. The courtyard turned into a slaughterhouse and the floor was covered in blood.
You were standing over a body, tearing the heart out when Marcel called your name. You dropped the heart and slowly turned, your lips curling up into a smirk.
Marcel grabbed your arm, trying to break your hold, but it was no use, you were stronger than him. You smiled, digging your fingers deeper, and he gasped.
"Marcellus," you greeted, smirking. Before he could react you slammed him against the wall. "I was hoping I would run into you," you said, pressing your hand into his chest. "We have some unfinished business,"
"I taught you better than that sweet Marcel," you taunted, twisting your wrist.
Marcel looked into your eyes, full of emotion, and you couldn't tell if it was sadness or pity.
"Stop this," he said, his grip tightening, and he tried to push you back. "I don't want to kill you," he said, his voice softer.
"And why not?" You asked, digging your fingers deeper, his face twisted in pain.
"Because..." he choked out, his heart slowing down, and his vision blurred, "I know you are still in there, my friend, and I'm not going to lose you,"
"I was so boring, so full of weakness," you told him, "this is who I was meant to be."
"No, you're not," he gasped, struggling to breathe, his legs buckling under the pressure. "You were the woman who helped raise me, would bake me apple pies whenever I had a bad day, would let me sleep in the same bed as her and Elijah when I had a nightmare, the woman who taught me love and compassion," he told you, and his grip tightened on your arm.
"And now she is hurting because she made a mistake, and that is something that I can forgive, because I know her heart is good."
You laughed coldly, his attempts to manipulate you not working, and you tightened your grip. You didn't want to hear anymore from him, his words were getting under your skin in a way that caused fear to trickle in.
"Goodbye, Marcel," you said, squeezing his heart, and it was too late for him to stop you, his strength was leaving him.
"Darling, put Marcellus down," said the last voice you wanted to hear. The one that could make all your pain return.
You felt him behind you, his hand on your waist. Your breath caught in your throat and the hairs on the back of your neck stood up.
"Let him go," Elijah said softly, his hand moving to your arm, keeping you from tearing Marcels heart out.
"Fuck off Elijah," you growled, struggling to get free, but his grip was like a vice.
"We can do this the hard way if you insist, I have no issue breaking your neck," he warned.
"You would never do that to your precious wife," you taunted, tugging in Elijah's grasp causing Marcel to cough up more blood.
Elijah let out a long sigh, then he moved faster than you could comprehend and everything went black.
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You woke in a small windowless room, only a few candles illuminating the space. You were in a chair, your wrists bound by chains.
"You're awake," a voice came from the shadows, and Elijah stepped into the light.
"This is kinky, even for you Elijah," you teased.
He did not look amused, sadness and regret filled his eyes, and he had never looked so broken. He knelt in front of you, and rested his hand on yours.
"Turn it back on," he demanded, looking into your eyes.
"I can't," you lied.
"Yes, you can," he said, his grip tightening.
"No, I can't," you argued, "turning it off was the best decision I have ever made."
"What happened was an accident, it wasn't your fault," Elijah said, and you could see the pain in his eyes, "and turning off your emotions does not fix things, it only makes it worse."
You let him talk, he was so good at it, his deep sexy voice creating a perfect melody of bullshit. But you let him think he was getting through to you as you subtly slipped out of your restraints. Your loving husband was so trusting.
"We can work through this, I can help you," he continued, "I love you," he said, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand.
"I know," you replied, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, and without a word you freed yourself from the chains and sped to the door.
Elijah was quicker, blocking your path. You let out a huff and tried to push past him, but he shoved you back and grabbed your shoulders.
You felt anger again, the only thing you could feel and you unleashed it on him. Clawing, scratching, striking him wherever you could. He took everything you threw at him, and eventually, he trapped you against the wall.
You let you a high pitched scream, it was feral and animalistic, and you thrashed in his grip, but his body pressed against yours, his hands on either side of your head, keeping you still.
"Stop," he said softly, it was barley a whisper.
Your body was pressed firmly against his, and you could feel his heart racing.
"Please," he begged, his eyes filling with tears.
He didn't look angry or annoyed, he looked sad, and it wasn't until then that you noticed his blood, covering your hands and clothes, and you realized how much you had hurt him.
"Just stop, please," he said, his voice cracking, and you knew the pain was too much.
You looked up at him and felt your anger give way into sadness. It was just a trickle, a soft misting of emotion, but it was there. You knew what was coming next.
You felt the weight of everything that had happened, all the hurt, and the pain, and the death, and it consumed you. The dam broke and you wanted, no, needed; to turn it off again.
Elijah could see the torment in your eyes, the light flickering behind them, fighting to return.
"Do you know why I fell in love with you? Why I married you?" He said softly, wiping the tears from your cheeks.
"You pity me, that's all," you said.
"Because," he began, taking your hand in his, "you have a heart," he said, placing your palm on his chest, "that's bigger than anything else, your kindness is endless. Even as a vampire you have always helped more than you've harmed, and that is a gift that not many have."
"Elijah," you whimpered, feeling the weight of his words and the force of your emotions bearing down on you.
"And I can't watch you destroy yourself any longer, because if you die, a part of me will die with you," he finished, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to yours. "You have to feel all the pain, it's worth it, because you also can experience the love," he said, gently cupping your face, "the love I have for you."
You couldn't help yourself, the flood gates had opened, and there was no closing them. You let out a small gasp, and the tears streamed down your cheeks, and he kissed them away.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you sobbed, clinging to him.
"It's alright," he hushed, pulling away and brushing the tears from your cheeks.
You didn't respond, you couldn't. You felt a wave of nausea wash over you, and your knees buckled. Elijah caught you, and pulled you close, holding you tight.
"I got you, it's okay," he assured, lifting you off your feet.
He sat down in the chair and held you on his lap. You couldn't stop crying, your face buried in the crook of his neck, and he cradled you.
"I'm a monster," you said quietly, and he held you closer.
"Not to me, never to me," he said, his fingers combing through your hair, and he felt you tremble.
"I killed her," you whimpered, your body tensing and your eyes clenched shut. "An innocent,"
"Shhh," he hushed, and you clung to him.
"How could I," you said, pulling away from him.
"It wasn't your fault. It was an accident, you tried to save her," he reminded, stroking your cheek.
"What's the point of having the power to heal when I can't even save a child," you cried, the guilt and shame tearing you apart.
"She fell, no one could have stopped it, not even Niklaus," he said, his hand moving to the back of your neck, pulling your head forward.
His lips brushed over your forehead, and he planted a small kiss. "Let's go home," he whispered, and your eyes widened.
"I can't, everyone will hate me, I deserve to die," you protested, pushing him away.
"You've been my wife for five hundred years, but only now have you become a true Mikaelson," he chuckled, picking you up and carrying you to the door.
It would take time, penance, and a lot of groveling to repair the damage you had done, and there was a chance some of them may never forgive you, but you had a chance now, to make amends, and that was all you could hope for.
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It had been a week since you turned your humanity back on, and it was still painful, and overwhelming.
Klaus came to you one day, while Elijah was out. He had his hands in his pockets and he leaned against the doorframe. He could see how much you were struggling, and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"I'm here to call in that favor," he announced, and your eyes narrowed.
"What do you want?" You asked, not bothering to look at him. "I'm really not in the mood, so say it fast and get out."
"You need to promise me that you will fulfill it, no matter how difficult," he warned, and you groaned, rolling your eyes.
"Just spit it out Klaus," you said, glaring at him.
"Forgive yourself."
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♡♡ Tag-List ♡♡
♡ @gorgeouslydangerous ♡ @starkleila ♡ @lydia1369sworld ♡ @notleylaaa ♡ @vampiresluv ♡ @vamprium ♡ @myanmy ♡ @xflowerbombxo ♡ @maryvibess ♡ @always-and-forever-daydreaming ♡ @criminallminds ♡ @theesexystallion ♡ @rosemarypotion ♡ @spnaquakindgdom ♡ @amournoir ♡ @loving-and-dreaming ♡ @meeom ♡ @damienmorton ♡ @wickedmuse ♡ @sunkissedebony97 ♡ @idk00sblog ♡ @savannaounana ♡ @cs-please
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captn-trex · 3 months ago
Text
let me take care of you
Rex x F!Reader
word count: 5.7k
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description: you have been suffering from depression for a few months and have shut yourself off from the world. a few weeks after getting laid off from your job, you get an unexpected knock at the door.
warnings: i'm gonna say this is 16+ just to be safe, heavily implied sex, depiction of depression, suicidal ideation, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, mutual pining - let me know what I've missed !
a/n: okay so this is sooooo self-indulgent it's actually embarassing. I wrote the first bit of this when I was truly going through it and... yeah, it's just Rex taking care of the reader hehe, with a bit of suggestive stuff but not proper smut. if that's your kinda thing, I hope you enjoy! (also this is the first oneshot that I've actually posted so gimme constructive criticism pls !!)
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Everything felt foggy.
For the past months, your life had felt like you were just going through the motions. Wake up, go to work, come home, struggle to sleep, and repeat. You didn't enjoy the things you used to anymore. It had been too long since you had taken a walk in the park, since you had sketched or written, and it hurt that you couldn't seem to even try and do them. Like there was an invisible force stopping you, and yet, there wasn't. It was just your own mind, lacking in whatever hormone would make you happy.
You couldn't find it in yourself to take care of yourself properly, and ever since being laid off from your job a few weeks ago, you had gone into the worst of it. You weren't eating properly, you couldn't sleep, sometimes staying up all night even though you would lay in your bed and just pray for it to be different. You hadn't seen your friends in months, though they would try and check in on you. You always told them you were busy, but you knew they knew what was going on. You had been like this before, though this time it was worse.
You shut yourself off from the world.
You hadn't been out of your apartment at all in days when you heard the knock. You made your way to your front door, and your breath hitched when you peered through the little hole and saw who was behind it.
Rex.
The clone stood in the hallway, his helmet at his hip, looking down the hall, and handsome as ever. There was no way you were letting him in while you were in this state. You hadn't brushed your hair in maker knows how long, you hadn't showered in… maybe a week? and the last time you had brushed your teeth was probably 2 days ago. Your personal hygiene was sorely lacking.
You watched the Captain through the door, your breath fogging up the glass, and jumped back when the knocking of the door reverberated around your small apartment.
What is he doing here?
You hadn't seen Rex since you lost your job, though he was among the few people who checked in with you regularly, trying to ask about how you were or convince you to come out of the house. Your stomach churned at the idea of people fussing about you, and now one of them was standing outside your door. A particular one of them that, in any given other state, you would be dying to see.
Your deep attraction and affection for Rex only made this situation more uncomfortable for you, the thought of answering the door making you feel physically sick.
You then heard your name called from behind the door in a deep, questioning voice, and your knees went weak.
“Are you in there?” He asked, followed by another knock.
You wanted to reply, to say anything, but you couldn't find your voice. What would I say? You elected to just go back to your bed, let him leave on his own, and pretend he was never here.
You scooted backwards but caught your hip on a table, sending a pile of your precious books hurtling to the floor. You held your breath, hoping Rex had not heard the noise, but it was no use.
Rex called your name again, and this time, it was gentler, “…Please let me in”
Your eyes watered as you walked up to the door, your finger hovering over the button that would cause it to slide open.
“I'm fine Rex, you can go” You tried to sound as resolute as you could, but the quiver in your voice was obvious.
“Cyare… let me in. I'm not leaving”
The nickname hit you hard, and you truly felt like clutching your chest as it pulled at the part of you that desired the clone on the other side of the door like no other.
You had met Rex years ago, at the job you had recently been let go from, working as a civilian medic on Coruscant.
The Captain could rarely be convinced by his brothers to take himself to the medbay, much more of the suffer in silence type. However, once you had begun working there, he had started making trips there for every little bump and scratch, and sometimes even when he was in perfect health, he would go claiming a cold or headache. He had always had a soft spot for you, and though he'd never admit it, he made it obvious. Everyone around him knew, everyone around you knew, but for whatever reason, you hadn't cottoned on at all.
He found you exceedingly beautiful, obviously intelligent, and just the most wonderful and bright spark of a person he'd ever met. Though, that was far from what you were feeling like at the moment.
You had also been enamoured by the Captain from the very start. The moment he walked into the medbay and made eye contact with you, you were done for. Whether it was his loyalty to his men, his commanding presence, or his wonderful smile that did it, you didn't know, but you were kriffed from the beginning.
“I can't let you in” You said, leaning your forehead into the door.
“Why not?” He said in a hushed tone that you could barely hear.
“I- I'm just not feeling well okay?” You choked out, vastly minimising the issue.
“I dont mind Cyare, just let me in. Please” He begged, but you just shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut.
You and Rex had grown into good friends quite naturally. In his needless visits to the med bay, he would often stay after hours and help you clean up, and you would fall into conversation about anything and everything. You shared many opinions about a variety of topics and would talk about your respective favourite things. Rex found that he learned a great deal about the wider galaxy from you, and he could hear you talk about art for hours upon end.
You were a fantastic artist, absolutely brilliant in any media, but Rex loved your sketches the most. You had brought him to your apartment once after work, when he had practically begged to see your work. He liked the simplicity of it, creating life with just a few stokes of a pencil. Your drawings held such character, such joy, such sorrow, and Rex thought that they were always so uniquely you. For that, he loved them.
“Rex I-” You didn't know what to say. You sank to your knees on the floor, letting your tears silently fall down your cheeks.
“Please…” He said one more time, and you finally broke.
You reached up and pressed the button, and the door zipped open to reveal your defeated posture to him. You dared not look up at him. You didn't want him to see you like this at all, but the thought of looking him in the eye when you knew how dishevelled, how weak you looked, you couldn't stomach it.
“Oh Cyare” He said softly and closed the door behind him, sinking to his knees in front of you. He tentatively placed a hand on your knee and began rubbing his thumb back and forth. “What's happened? You haven't been in the medbay for weeks”
“I was laid off” You replied quietly.
“What? Why would they do that?” He asked, genuinely confused. You were a talented medic. He could see no reason for it.
“Money is tight. We are at war after all” You chuckled a little bit, knowing that much was obvious to Rex.
“What are you upset about? I'm sure there's somewhere else that would take you, you're a great medic” He asked so innocently that you could almost laugh.
“It's not about that…” You sighed, running a hand over your face, still looking down.
“What is it about?” Rex said softly, shuffling forwards so his armoured knees touched your bare ones.
“I just… I can't do it anymore Rex” You whispered, the first time you had freely admitted it to anyone before.
Rex tensed up. He brought his other hand up and gently grabbed your chin, tilting your head to look at you properly. The look in your eyes already told him the answer to the question he was about to ask, “Can't do what?”
“It. Life. Anything. I just want to disappear” You said, choking on your tears and overwhelmed by the thoughts that weighed you down. Rex's amber irises burned into yours with such an intensity, but not for long, as his arms made their way around your body, and he pulled you into his lap.
You cried into his chest, with him stroking your hair and holding you close to him with the other arm, scared that you would somehow get your wish and disappear in his arms.
He was at a loss for words. He couldn't understand how someone he thought was so wonderful and incredible could be harbouring such hateful feelings about themself. He feared saying anything that would upset you, and the last thing he wished to do was deny how you were feeling by telling you that you were wrong, so he just held you in his arms, silently letting you know he was there for you, no matter what. The sound of your crying was making his heart break, but he stayed like that until it died down.
“How long have you been feeling like this?” He asked tentatively, drawing back and holding your jaw so he could see your face.
“I dont know… four or five months, maybe?” You replied, and it felt like he had been stabbed in the chest.
How had he not noticed anything was wrong? He felt like he had failed you, that your friendship was for nought if he couldn't even tell when you were upset. He didn't place any of the blame on you, but he had to ask…
“Why didn't you tell me?”
You sighed, “I didn't want to concern you with it. It's for me to deal with”
“What? It's not just for you to deal with, of course I'd want to know if you're not okay. I'm so sorry I didn't notice” He said, his tone so heavy with guilt.
“It's okay, it makes sense that you didn't”
Rex almost took offence to the comment, but the small smile on your lips didn't evade him, “Why does it make sense?”
“Uh, I guess I was always happy around you” You admit, “You- Uh we’re good friends, you know? I like spending time with you”
Despite the comment about being friends, Rex's heart soared, “I like spending time with you too Cyare”
“Why are you calling me that all of a sudden?” You asked. You knew what it meant, you'd spent enough time among the clones, and it was impossible to escape when you overheard their unabashed flirting on your few trips to 79s.
“Um” Rex gulped, not feeling like right now was the best time to admit that he was wildly in love with you, “I don't know, I care about you, you know? Like you said, we're good friends”
You nodded, seeming satisfied with the explanation, and Rex breathed out a shaky breath.
“I'm sorry you had to see me like this” You looked down, playing with your fingers as heat rose to your cheeks.
“It's fine, I really don't mind. Besides, you still look good to me” He said, and your eyes snapped back up to his instantly, your breath becoming short. Rex thinks I look good?
“Thanks Captain” You grinned shyly, your face feeling positively on fire at the compliment.
“It's no problem” He smiled, then he became more serious, “Have you eaten today?”
“Uh- no” You looked away again, feeling ashamed.
“Alright, let me fix you some food then” He readjusted his hold on you and picked you up, setting you down on your couch. Your head was spinning from the intimacy of feeling his breath fanning over your face.
“I don't really have any food here” You admitted sheepishly.
“Okay, how about this then” He crouched by the couch so that his eyes were level with yours, “Why don't you go and have a shower, do whatever you need to feel a bit better, and I'll go out and get us some food”
“Rex… I can't ask you to do that for me” You spoke hesitantly, but he shook his head.
“You're not asking, and in fact, neither am I” He said with a playful glint in his eye, “Go and freshen up, that's an order soldier”
You giggled at him and took the hand that he offered to help you up.
“Yes sir” You saluted him and marched off in the direction of the refresher, earning a laugh from the clone.
You stepped into the refresher and looked yourself in the eye for probably the first time in days. You did not look good. Your eyes held bags that looked so heavy that they could weigh down the skin they inhabited, your hair was a complete mess, and your skin was dull and lifeless.
You sighed, grabbed your hairbrush, and decided to start there. It took a few minutes, but soon, your hair was completely knot-free, and you stripped off and stepped into the shower. You took your time finding the perfect temperature, which ended up being almost scalding hot. You leaned your elbows against the wall, letting the water hit your back and relieving some of the tension you could feel there.
Now that you were actually in the shower, you didn't feel like leaving at all. Though, the idea of Rex being outside the door when you finished was enough for you to quickly wash yourself and your hair and hop out again. You brushed your teeth twice and moisturised your clean skin. Looking in the mirror, you looked a lot better than you did before you went in the shower, and you were eternally thankful for that. If you were going to see the person you had been in love with for years, you only wanted to look your best.
You stepped out of the refresher and headed for your bedroom with your dirty clothes in hand.
“Hey, are you-”
You jumped out of your skin when you saw Rex stood in the living area with a bag in hand, and he did too when he saw you with only a towel wrapped around you. Your eyes went wide, and you wrapped the towel tighter around your body on instinct, only fueling the less-than-pure thoughts that were spilling into Rex's brain. You looked so incredible, your hair dripping water over your body, which was seemingly glistening with its new cleanliness, and your towel left little to the imagination.
“Um yeah, you're out, cool, uh- I'll let you get dressed” He turned around and cursed silently to himself for being so awkward.
You just chuckled nervously, feeling utterly mortified, and made your way to your room as intended. You found a fresh oversized t-shirt and pair of soft shorts and slipped into them quickly, rejoining Rex in the other room.
He had taken off the top half of his armour, leaving just his blacks, the Republic insignia adorned proudly on his chest. The tightness of the top showed off his toned physique as if he wasn't even wearing anything, and you had to tear your eyes away from it.
“What did you get?” You asked quietly, sitting down next to him on the couch.
“Noodles, is that okay?” He asked, looking to you a little nervously.
You chucked at his demeanour, which was decidedly un-captain-like as he looked to you for approval, “It's perfect, thank you”
You both picked up the boxes that held your food and dug in, and your bodies turned to face each other as you rested against oppsite ends of the couch. It was good to have a proper meal, with actually nutritious foods. When you had eaten as of late, it had mostly been ration bars or random snacks you could find in your apartment. You hummed contentedly, and Rex smiled at you.
“Good?”
“Mhm” You smiled, swallowing a bite, “Thank you Rex”
“It’s alright” He said nonchalantly.
“I mean it, thank you for… taking care of me” You said, then looked down, “I'm finding that difficult at the moment, so it means a lot”
“Cyare” Rex moved towards you and placed a hand on your knee, “It's really no trouble, I just want to see you feeling better”
You looked up at him and gave a tight lipped smile, “Well, thank you anyway”
“No problem. You look a little more alive now, by the way” He teased.
“Hey! You're the one that said I looked good before, you cant take it back now” You challenged, and he smirked.
“I'm not taking it back. You just look even better now” He said, but his smirk dropped when you froze up at his comment.
“You dont have to say that just to make me feel better, you know” You said, looking down and taking your final mouthful of noodles.
“I'm not just saying it” He said quietly, and you looked up to see his light frown. You put down your food box as he continued to stare at you seriously.
“What is it?” You ask.
“It's nothing, don't worry about it” He said quickly and put his own food box down as he finished.
“Rex” You scooted closer to him so that your knees were almost touching, “What's the matter?”
“Nothing’s the matter” He avoided your eyes as he spoke, and you used the technique that he employed earlier on, gently taking his chin between your thumb and finger and guiding his gaze towards you.
“What is it?” You asked again, and his eyebrows pinched together as his eyes flicked between the two of yours.
“You're so beautiful Cyare” He said, tentatively placing his hand on your lower thigh.
Your breath hitched in your throat at the gentle touch, and you searched his eyes for any dishonesty but only found them to be as earnest as usual.
“I- I should've been telling you every day since I met you” He said, his voice breaking just a little as he spoke so softly, “I should’ve been telling you how much you mean to me, how much I care for you, how important you are” He stroked his thumb back and forth on your thigh, sending tingles up your spine.
“Rex” You breathed out in a whisper, your hand sliding around to cup his sharp jaw. He leaned into your touch, and you felt as if you could melt at the sight.
“Say something” He urged, his eyes pleading for a conformation that you felt the same way.
“I-” You didn't know what to say. You felt the same, but the words got caught in your throat. It felt wrong to truly admit to your affection for him after bottling it up for so long.
“Rex, I've always cared for you, far more than a medic should care for their patient” You admitted, and his eyes lit up.
“You have?” He asked, and you nodded in reply.
“And for the record, I think you're beautiful too” You let a small grin creep its way onto your face.
“That’s good to know” Rex smirked, bringing his other hand to your cheek.
He looked deeply into your eyes, the eyes that he always found so fascinating, and he leaned his forehead against yours before tilting his head towards your lips. You shivered with anticipation.
“Is this okay? I don't want to take advantage of you if you-”
“Just kiss me Rex” You whispered against his lips, your eyes fluttering shut. He didn't delay after that. With your permission, he couldn't say no.
His lips met yours tentatively, as if testing the waters, but as soon as he felt you kiss him back, he pulled you in more urgently. His lips moved against yours, melding together as if it was how they were made to be. You felt your need for closeness growing, and you pulled him towards you as you deepened the kiss. Rex slid his hand up your thigh, resting it on your hip and tracing small circles with his thumb as his other hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you impossibly closer as he devoured your lips.
Rex pulled back, his teeth lingering on your bottom lip for a moment, and you both caught your breath.
“I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that” You said, your breath still short.
Rex grinned widely, “Yeah? I can guarantee it's probably not as long as I have”
“Probably not” You chuckled, “Unless you somehow wanted to before you even looked at me for the first time”
Rex raised his eyebrows, “You've wanted to kiss me the whole time we've known each other?” He asked, and you nodded your head shyly. “Why didn't you say anything?”
“I dont know, I guess I just figured you wouldn't feel the same” You shrug.
Rex just shook his head with a smile and pulled you onto his lap “Oh, how wrong you were”
“Is that right?” You smirked, “I'd love to hear all about just how wrong I was”
Rex smirked back at you, and placed a kiss to your cheek, “I've wanted to kiss those pretty lips of yours ever since I laid eyes on you” He confessed, and your breath hitched as he continued to place featherlight kisses along your jaw. “I thought you were the most beautiful person I'd ever seen” He kissed down your neck slowly, gently nipping at you with his teeth at the point where your neck meets your shoulder, which earned a small whine from you, and you could feel him smirk.
“I've never felt the way I feel about you, about anyone else” He murmured against your skin, burying his nose in your neck and inhaling your scent.
His words were driving you crazy. They were all you had ever wanted to hear from him, and here he was, speaking them aloud as he kissed your skin so gently, as if you would break if he pressed any harder.
“Rex” You whispered, and he looked up at you, waiting for you to continue.
“What is it, Mesh'la?” He whispered back, his lips ghosting yours. You shuddered in his arms, your eyes fluttering closed, and he watched your every move with anticipation.
“Rex, I-” You leaned your forehead against his, needing an anchor before you spoke your next words, “I need you”
Rex's heart skipped a beat. Possibly a few beats. “What do you mean, Cyare?”
“Please, take me to the bedroom” You asked, begged, and Rex took action immediately.
He held you to him as he stood up, and you wrapped your legs around him tightly. He made his way to your bed quickly and gently laid you onto your back, crawling over you so he was holding himself above your body.
“You're sure about this, Cyare? If it's just a lapse in judgement because you're not in your right mind, I understand, no hard feelings” Rex stroked your cheek with his knuckles, looking into your eyes intently.
“Rex, please. My judgement is just fine. I want you. I've always wanted you” You said, the neediness so obvious in your tone. Rex's expression then settled somewhere between amusement and adoration.
“You want me?” He smirked, his lips hovering just above yours.
“Yes” You spoke breathlessly.
“Say it again” He commanded in a whisper, his amber eyes burning into your very soul.
“I want you, Rex”
He breathed out a shaky breath and brought his lips to yours, speaking between chaste kisses, “You have me, all of me. You always have. I've always been yours”
It was almost too much to hear. Your heart was pounding in your ears, and you thought you'd made it all up.
“I've always been yours Rex” You whispered against his lips, and his breath stuttered.
“You're mine?” He asked in a murmur. The flame of desire burning in his eyes was clear.
“Only yours”
He pressed his lips to yours with a newfound desperation, his hand trailing down your body and holding your hips in place as he slipped his leg between yours. You grasped at his body, your hands finding themselves underneath the top of his blacks, and he stopped kissing you to pull it off. You absolutely marvelled at the sight.
In all your time knowing Rex, mending up his various wounds, you had never had the honour of glimpsing at his form without a shirt on. You traced along a scar at the centre of his chest, “How did you get this?”
“I was shot” He shrugged with a grin.
“No big deal for a big important Captain like you, I suppose” You teased and matched his grin as he rolled his eyes.
“Shut up” He mumbled against your skin as he buried his head in your neck, leaving soft kisses and less soft bites. You struggled to keep small moans from escaping your lips at his touch, and Rex noticed you holding back. He wound his way up to your lips, pressing a short kiss to them before he spoke.
“Don't hold out on me cyar'ika, I want to hear you”
You bit your lip and nodded at him, then kissed a trail across his strong jaw, earning a soft groan. As your kisses made their way down his neck, and you brought your hands to trail down his body, he groaned more deeply. The sound was driving you insane. Before you could breach the top of his blacks, Rex gathered your wrists in his hand and held them above your head, your eyes blown wide with desire and longing, your breath ragged.
Rex just looked at you for a moment, committing the intoxicating sight to his memory. His other hand found your face as he shifted the leg that was between yours, earning a whimper, “Don't worry about that, just let me take care of you”
You shuddered at his words, your body tense with anticipation for what was to come.
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He looked so perfect, angelic even.
Watching Rex sleep was never a luxury you imagined yourself getting the opportunity to indulge in, but with it right in front of you, you weren't going to let it pass you by.
You had slept for a little while, wrapped up in Rex's limbs, and held closely to his body. You had been completely at peace, every struggle and awful thought that usually plagued you was pushed to the back of your mind and there was only him, his presence enveloping you; his warmth, his scent, the feel of his skin against yours, his breath against your cheek and his chest rising and falling gently. Now, as you moved away from him and watched the cold light of morning creep across his features, you couldn't help but marvel at the sight.
You slipped out of his arms, a soft sigh escaping him in the process. Your heart clenched at the sound, only feeling your adoration for him growing once again.
You reluctantly tore your gaze away from him and went over to your desk, opening the left draw as quietly as you could. You took out your flimsi sketchbook and a pencil and made your way over to the chair that was against the large window overlooking the city. However, that wasn't the focus of your sketching today, not when there was a sight far more beautiful laying in your bed.
You opened up your small sketchbook and looked at the last thing you had drawn. It was a scene from the park. A couple sat on a bench at the edge of the man-made pond and smiling adoringly at each other. You smiled and pushed down the guilt at the realisation that you had drawn this over four months ago.
When you looked up to Rex again, your heart skipped a beat. The sun had risen a little higher in the sky and cast a golden light across the lower half of his face and chest. You took up your pencil and began sketching the view before anything could disturb it.
The sheets were pooled at his waist, showing off his toned physique in all its glory, especially as he slept with one hand tucked under his head. His features were relaxed, more relaxed than you had ever seen. His face often had a sternness about it that was undeniably militaristic, but that was nowhere to be found as he slept peacefully.
You had the outline and were now just adding the details. The small marks on his skin, some that you had fixed up yourself, and the large blaster burn in the centre of his chest. As you were adding some of the shadows to his face, you heard a small grumble, and your head shot up to see Rex opening his eyes, stretching his arms out.
“Don’t move” You spoke gently, and he looked to you, noticing your sketchbook in your hand as you sat curled up in your chair.
He smiled, a warmth spreading across his chest as he settled back into his previous position, “Like this?”
“Mhm” You hummed in reply, taking in the way the shadows on his face changed now that he was awake. “Relax” You laughed as you saw a small crease emerge in his brow.
He chuckled a little and relaxed with a contented sigh.
“Almost done” You said quietly, as if to not disturb your own work.
You quickly added the remaining shading, adding some small details of the bed and the room, wanting to capture the moment perfectly, so that should your mind ever forget it, which you doubted, it would be forever recorded. That was what you loved about using flimi over a datapad. The physicality felt more personal and permanent.
“All finished” You smiled as you closed your sketchbook and went to place it back in your desk.
“Hey! Aren't you going to show me?” Rex asked, and you looked back to him to see the crease in brow had returned.
“It's not very good, it's just a sketch”
“Cyare, I love your sketches. Please, show me” He spoke gently, an edge of seriousness to deny your self-deprecating words.
“Okay” You conceded, opening the sketchbook back up and sitting down on the bed to show him. Rex then grabbed you by the waist and pulled you into him, making you fall back into his chest as he laid down again. A delighted laugh escaped your lips at the sudden contact, and you looked up to Rex's face to see an equally elated expression.
He took the sketchbook from your hand and looked over the drawing of himself, his smile widening with each second.
“It's amazing” He said softly, meeting your eyes again.
“That's because it's of you” You smiled and brushed your nose against his, earning a small chuckle.
“No, it's… You make me look so…” He looked over the drawing and tried to find the right word to describe what he meant, “I'm not sure. It looks exactly like me, but… There's something else to it”
“Well, all the best things are made with love” You said before you could even really process what you were saying.
Rex’s eyes went wide as they snapped back to yours, “Love?” He questioned.
You shrank backwards, wanting the bed to collapse in on itself and swallow you whole, but Rex’s arm tightened around your waist, pulling you against him. You let the word hang in the air for a moment before clearing your throat and swallowing hard.
“Uh… yeah” You said awkwardly, looking away.
Rex said your name in a soft tone, pulling your focus back to him. He rested his forehead against yours, his amber eyes burning into yours, “You love me?”
“I do” You whispered, gnawing your bottom lip at the vulnerability of the admission.
Rex met your lips in a sweet kiss, slow and deliberate, and pulled away a few seconds later. He caressed your cheek with his knuckles before he settled his palm on the back of your neck. “I love you too” He confessed, and your heart leapt to your throat.
“You do?” You whispered.
“I do. I always have. It's like I said, I've always been yours” He confirmed, repeating the words he had said last night. You brought your forehead to his again and closed your eyes, taking in the sweetness of the moment.
“And I yours”
Nothing was fixed. You weren't back to being happy and full of life like you once were, but Rex had reminded you why life was worth living. You were reminded of all the things that made it worthwhile, all of the things you loved to do, the things that brought joy and colour into your life. If you could just take it one step at a time, one day after the other, you would get through this feeling, and best of all, Rex would be there to support you when you needed him.
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nhasablogg · 22 days ago
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The end (again)
First of all I want to thank you all for following and engaging with me ever since I returned to this space. It's been, mostly, great. I've written some things I'm really proud of, and for that reason I'm reluctant to delete this blog like I did the last.
I think it's been obvious I've not been enjoying myself in a long time, except for the occasional few days when it's been fun to write and interact with people. Throughout this whole year I've been trying to convince myself that I can use this blog only when I want to and feel inspired to, and while it sometimes works it very often just leaves me frustrated as I try to make this space fun for myself again. I'm gonna try not to be too longwinded about this as I have the habit of being, so long story short, I'm going to leave this blog.
I won't be deleting anything, but I'll also not be using this blog anymore. I was debating just disappearing without saying anything, but I think that's rude when some of you have been so very kind. The one and only exception will be if I feel really inspired and write something I love and would like to share specifically on here (or maybe I'll just post them on AO3 if I feel like it). Since I won't feel pressured to use this blog I'm sure that experience will be authentic and beautiful and rare. I want to focus on writing outside of this space, as I keep putting my energy here and not where I'd like it to be. There are lots of things going on in my life right now and I'd like to try to regain some control by using my free time intentionally in order to become the version of myself I'm striving toward. This blog is, unfortunately, not part of that version.
I still have a few prompts I want to fill, and a few WIPs I want to finish/post anyway, so I'm not disappearing just yet. When I say disappear, I'm not sure if I mean that I won't ever be logged in. I'm not entirely sure yet how I'm going to go about it, if I'm going to answer messages or turn asks off or what. I think, in the long run, asks will be turned off just so that I won't feel the urge to log in for the off chance someone has given me some attention. That's why I deleted the old blog, to keep myself from having one foot in there still.
I want to thank you for the lovely lovely time being back here. It's not been perfect, but that's not what I'm deciding to take with me this time. I want to remember writing Criminal Minds fics and Stranger Things fics and Red White and Royal Blue fics and Heartstopper fics, and how lovely you were about those fics. Revisiting fandoms and finding new ones and completing tickletober and having plans and ambitions for projects (even though I didn't always follow through, it's always nice having ambitions). I don't regret deleting the old blog and I don't regret creating this one. I think I probably needed to return, on my own terms, just like I'm now leaving on my own terms. I don't think I did that last time.
I keep rewriting this and looking at it and wondering if I will regret posting it. If posting it will somehow flip the switch and I will find so much joy here again and look like a fool. And if that happens, so be it. But I need to post this. I can't keep procrastinating. I have, in a way, been working up the nerve to say goodbye for the past year.
If you've ever commissioned a fic, I urge you to save it somewhere because I can't promise I won't randomly delete one day in the future either, if I realize it will be for the better (I guess the same goes for if you enjoy a fic and would like to be able to revisit it - but please don't share it anywhere else).
N over and out (well, once I finish those fics I still want to finish)
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lttleghost · 4 months ago
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okay I'm like complaining again but I wanna hear other ppls thoughts on this because I'm too impatient to wait until I've gone through all the commentary for BrBa and BCS in search of answers to confirm or deny my suspicions but GOD A FEW THINGS ARE DRIVING ME INSANE and I apologize for this ramble being maybe a lil disjointed in advance
so like, first, this scene-
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if I look at this realistically it reads as Jake misinterpreting his and Jesse's parents talking about how Jesse's actions reflect back on them as genuine care, he's young, and I can imagine him having some insecurity in his parents care for him since we do know it is conditional, just Jake is currently meeting those conditions, but sensing that instability could've maybe influenced how he understood his parents talk of his older sibling.
but I just am having a hard time convincing myself that was intended when it was written... and this assessment from me could be unfair because - while I'm not quite sure at what point Jesse was no longer planned to be killed at the end of the first season - this does come from that first season, and I've heard there was a change in how Jesse was written after the first season and throughout the rest of the show there is NO evidence that Jesse's parents like, actually give a fuck about him, they actively make his life worse like when they kicked him out of his own goddamn house, and that all seems like those things have to be intended to make you think "wow Jesse's parents are awful!!!"
but then, not for me to complain about these two scenes in El Camino again but I'm gonna complain about these two scenes in El Camino again -
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followed by this not too long after
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because while if this movies thing of having blame being squared on Jesse's shoulders was just him talking to his parents it'd be easier to say "oh this is just a kid who was abused in a socially acceptable way not recognizing the abuse he went through and how that really did have a major effect on his life trajectory" but when these two scenes are put so close together it makes it really hard for me to not think that it's TRYING to say that Jesse is responsible for where he ended up even if they don't necessarily want bad things to happen to him
cause like I know, I know the writers are sympathetic towards Jesse but I don't think being sympathetic towards a character like him makes you immune to having harmful beliefs about addicts and criminals when they're so prevalent in wider society, like especially the idea that changing actions taken by individual people is the main problem that needs to be dealt with wrt addiction and crime instead of changing the structural problems that result in addiction and crime, like I've seen this mindset present in the fandom as well
I mean I know I have some evidence that at least Vince's ideas on justice aren't great with this bit from an interview about El Camino (also him having Jesse specifically say "I'm no cop killer" when Jesse would definitely know how cops are just another violent gang, like he could've just said "I don't want to kill anyone" instead of having cops on some higher level of innocence)
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like I dunno believing at all that there's a good way to end with Jesse in prison (and not as a way to show how awful prison is either, since he talked about the idea of Jesse finally finding some sort of peace in prison sleeping) is kinda fucked up!!! I do want to fight him for this alone!!! even if like glad he changed it but I dunno the fact that he believes this just makes it easy to believe that he really would!! blame Jesse to at least some extent for what he got into, like I think that he understands Walt manipulated Jesse but I just, I dunno!!! things in BCS kinda bother me too irt just general ideas of crime and drug use ect... but I'm much less familiar with that show in comparison to BrBa so I don't feel as comfortable pointing specific things in it
like... do Vince Gilligan and the writers of Breaking Bad see Jesse’s parents as shit parents who were abusive in a socially acceptable way? or do they really think that they really did their best? is it somewhere in-between? like "they were abusive but they still didn't know any better"? or maybe is it as bad as believing Jesse's parents tried their best and them being rich is supposed to show that he had all he needed to succeed and was just a fuckup (instead of it showing that his parents had all the resources they needed to help him and... didn't) am I just overreacting because I am protective of my girl and the people that I know exist like him and am suspicious of those writing about them if I don't know all their politics behind the subject? I know I've talked to some ppl who have vindicated me w/ some of this but please share ur opinions I want to know the wider ideas on this since I feel like I just don't see it discussed that often
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kingpreciouswrld · 11 months ago
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If you’re still accepting Miranda Priestly x Reader fic ideas i’ve got one!
Miranda and Reader have been married or a long time now secretly of course to prevent a media mishap. The reader is a stylist who sometimes stops to visit and help with a showcase, maybe she comes in casually to have lunch with Miranda and gets stopped by Andrea and Emily who try to get her to leave as they don’t know her(only Nigel does) and they’re both trying to tell Emily and Andrea that she’s allowed back there without exposing the marriage, eventually Miranda just comes out and asks why they’re touching her wife ( or something of the sort???) feel free to branch from this
ask and ye shall receive!
I hope you like it! It's been a while since I've written for anyone but myself :3
Nobody's Gonna Know
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It’s an unusually busy day in your office. The clothes you’ve ordered haven’t arrived yet and your workers seem to not know how to conduct themselves in a manner without the very needed materials. You looked on through the glass doors as your workers ran around like headless chickens, trying to come up with something to show you before you needed to leave.
As a well-known stylist, it was your job to come up with new and creative or out-of-the-box looks to those who paid for your help. You mainly helped with showcases that Runway Magazine held and the clothes you needed today were actually from Runway Magazine. Through the grapevine you’ve heard that their workers were just as clueless as yours when it came to the clothes you were seeking.
As you sat in your little office, you thought back to when you first started out. You were a nobody, hell you weren’t even a New York local. No, you came from a small town in the middle of nowhere. Having nothing to your name, you first tried making it in California. You gained some traction which led you to move to New York. At first you were against it. You didn’t like big cities all that much, it just wasn’t your scene but you knew that your talent and job called for being around big things.
A year into the job, you attended a charity event where you were introduced to the one and only, Miranda Priestly. It was hard to read the woman at first but you saw it in her eyes, she liked you or at least, your work. That’s how it all started. You started to come and do jobs at Runway Magazine while also taking some jobs on the side. Not to mention the growing relationship between you and the editor which also included the lives of her rambunctious daughters and her slobbery saint bernard.
3 years passed and Miranda and you kept things underwraps. Heaven knows you’d have a field day for Page Six and their stinging words, so you have kept your relationship from everyone. Well, everyone except those closest to you.
Sighing, you looked at the clock. It was almost lunch time and Miranda didn’t like to be kept waiting.
You grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder, “Annie, reschedule the runthrough until this afternoon. I’m sure Runway will do the same due to the circumstances with its clothing gone missing. I’m going out for lunch.” Your assistant nodded and frantically went to work at her computer as you passed her.
Making your way to Elias Clarke, you weaved through the small crowds before entering the building– blending in with the clackers around you. No one knew about your relationship with the fashion queen so you easily blended with crowds and you loved it. No one bothered you.
Until they did.
You had made your way up to Runway’s floors when you passed the front desk and made your way towards Miranda’s inner sanctum. You’ve been to Runway multiple times so no one blinked an eye as you strolled down the halls.
Reaching the outer office of Miranda’s, you haven’t intended to actually be stopped by her assistants.
Andy was the first to notice you as Emily was out.
“Oh! Y/n! I’m sorry but Miranda is in a meeting so you wouldn’t be able to go in right away.” 
You looked at the clock above the assistant’s desk. 11:56 am. Knowing your wife, you knew she wouldn’t mind if you interrupted her work. She never minded when you did it at home, so why would her workplace be different?
“Trust me, I think Miranda wouldn’t mind Andy. So I’m just gonna…”
You tried to step past the young woman but Andy just stepped in front of you. The assistant’s eyes widened as you tried to step past her again but she blocked your way through.
There was only so much you could do so you sighed as you looked back at the clock. 
11:58 am.
This time, you tried to listen for the soft voices coming from your wife’s office. There were only two that you could pick up on. One was, of course, Miranda’s but the other was a man’s voice. Somewhat…feminine? But not too feminine.
“Is it just Nigel and Miranda in there?”
As you tried stepping past the brunette, again she blocked your path.
“Look Y/n, if you keep this up I’m going to have to call security.”
At this time, Emily walked in and took in the scene in front of her, “Andrea? What’s going on here?”
As Andy was distracted, you tried to step past her again but only to be grabbed by the arm and pulled back, away from Miranda’s office door, “Woah! Okay, no touchy, alright? These cost more than your paycheck alright?”
Emily huffed and rolled her eyes but didn’t release you. Andy looked like she was nervous about losing her job. She knew you were stubborn and wouldn’t stop until you were able to see Miranda.
“Since you already have her, escort her to the lobby Em. She’s been trying to break into Miranda’s office. “ ‘Break into’? I’m just trying to see my– ugh, look, I’ll just wait alright? You guys don’t need to be so touchy about–”
Before you could finish your sentence, the brit was already moving towards the front desk area. You immediately stood your ground so the redhead would have a harder time moving you. You’d show them stubborn.
As the three of you were arguing and you were still struggling against Emily’s hold– you didn’t know how the redhead was this strong– you three failed to notice Miranda’s office door open.
“Look, if you let me go, i’ll make sure you still have your job at the end of the day, alright?”
Emily scoffed, “As if you’re so important here, you’re just a small town no one who just happened to meet Miranda and kiss her ass all the way till–”
“Is there a reason you’re restraining my wife?”
Both assistant’s straightened their posture at the cool voice before they realized what she said.
Emily gaped, looking like a fish out of water while Andy looked more afraid of losing her job this time.
Miranda’s eyes were still where Emily had a grip on you and she glared at the redhead, “Let. Go. Emily.” 
The brit let your arm go as if your arm burned her and you grumbled as you rubbed your arm, trying to soothe the lingering pain of Emily’s grip. Behind the editor, Nigel looked as if he was about to burst out laughing at the girls’ faces.
“Now, how about some lunch my love?”
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octoberautumnbox · 26 days ago
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Happy Anni-box-sary!! :DDDD
Whew! It's been a year since I've started writing on this platform (and in general fsgsdjkfghjadskfh), and what a wild ride it has been. Ups and downs scattered throughout the year, but I really wouldn't have it any other way :uwuge:
All that said, let's move onto the box 2024 recap!
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Yuri fics I've written: 8
Fly in the Night Trip
Love in the Night Train
Juicy Juicy
Friday
Adrenaline
Enjoy
I Got All I Need
Like It Like I Love It
buncha drabbles I didnt count, some of them fluff, some of them angst, all of them box 📦‼
Yuri fics other people have written: 6
@fillinforlater's Friends that can Keep a Secret
@birchleavesdawn's Bitter Taste
@xshadowdelta's Former Manager pt. 1: Back in Town
@usedpidemo's Cruel Flower
@prael's Reality
@leafostuff's Operant Conditioning
Non-Yuri fics I've written: 11
in my best attempt not to double count when there was more than one idol in the fic (lmao),
1 for soloist Chaeyeon
1 for Kiss of Life
2 for woo!ah!
2 for tripleS
2 for Kep1er
3 for fromis_9
Funnest fics to write:
Hell Week: despite not doing sins's prompt justice, I really did enjoy how I built Yubin and OC's character, even as the writer i fell in love with how sweet Yubin came to be, and while I do think the sex could have been fluffier, i do like how i wrote the ending :DDD
Cute and Caring Noona from Apartment 424: i think deep down inside i knew the apartment thing was gonna come back, even at the time, though i had to promise myself it wouldn't be a series. Yujin and Xiaoting are still a killer duo i'd love to write but it wouldn't fit that well with what i've decided on what the apartment fics will be, instead i'm going with the direction that The Sultry and Pervy Soda in Apartment 307 went and go from there
Like It Like I Love It: EASILY my top 1 from this year. it was everything reader box would have wanted in a yuri fic: a casual relationship, a possibility that there's something more in it, hot sex (literally), and just the right amount (maybe a bit too little) of showing off babygirl yul. i really hope this isn't peak box but going back to why i started writing in the first place, which is that i wanted to see more quality yuri fics, this was something that if i were still a reader would have sated me for at least another year. good job box!
Idols/Groups I've come to know:
Kiss of Life: I think they debuted before me? I noticed Natty first bc ofc I did 😭 but quickly fell in love with how Bobsky just vibes so well with them aaaaaaa
tripleS: I started paying attention around Girl's Capitalism but I knew of them since Generation. I still know only like ten of them and still need to look up whether they're of age or what number S they are but I've written the group thrice now so worth :DDDD
Kep1er: zozi was tough for wizones and I'm not exception, so there was a lot of animosity to this group starting out. I only really started loving this group because of choiyuj, and it was me falling in love with that tiktok that cookies n seggs noona was ever made and it's been upwards ever since
Collabs:
One Heck of a Joyride with @leafostuff: simultaneously this took way too long and not long enough LMAO we started in Feb and released in May, if u can remember Best Job Ever and Like It Like I Love It came out in May too so that was hectic for me. but it's my first and to date only long fic and I hope someday to surpass it in terms of word count and idol nuguness :sitt:
Prompts:
@i-am-lifeform24's Curated Companions: this first major prompt I took part in, where I wrote Dito Muna Tayo :nolookk: it got me attention I didnt know how to feel abt (I still don't tbh) but it was a major step in the right direction to temper my expectations of myself: it reminded me to write for me
@msafterhours's Seasons: this was a major L for me jfkgjslahhf I wrote A Little Goes a Long Way, misunderstanding the prompt "Seasons" for "Seasoning" and making a cooking fic instead. it was a great laugh with him tho, and a memory I come back to fondly
@mintwithchoco's Favorite Song: I wrote Orange-Tinted Sunset with Sticky in mind but promising mint I'd break Belle's heart lmao, at the time my current favorite song switched from that to Nothing and it all just fell in place. I had the idea a long time ago for Haneul but this was the perfect chance to broaden my horizons yet again, and to my dismay it proved @0cta9on right that I kinda was okay at all three genres of fics that touched on after all :bearlazy:
Growth:
can't remember if I said it out loud on the tl but im not a serious writer! that just means that I dont consciously aim to improve how I write and I'm totally fine with the skills and style I have now, and any exp gained or skills learned is has been passively achieved
that said, I'm really so so happy with Fly in the Night Trip and Love in the Night Train. In my first ever fic i said i wanted my next work to be a smut, and that i would be able to write more of what i wanted on my blog soon. Enjoy was both of those, and i even got to write so much more of my ult bias throughout the year and then some. you could call it self-serving, or as @capslocked so eloquently put it, unconsidered readers, all of you. :sitt:
thats why im really happy to be able to come full circle with another fluff in Love in the Night Train, because i feel like it concludes such an awesome year in such an awesome way. id tell 2023 box that just keeping at it wouldve worked out so well, but the extra effort to write just a tiny bit better, to listen to @midnightdancingsol's advice, to stick with it even though work fucked us up (and still does) is going to be well worth it
Hiatuses: 2
ok obviously im not as proud of this one. but each time i did, it was me reevaluating how I run the blog and what sort of stuff I'm getting myself into. it was well worth taking a step back from writing and just figuring out what exactly I wanted to do, and the breaks did wonders for how I paced myself.
these were me asking myself questions that struck the very core of how I conduct this cacophony of a kpop smut blog. it made me aware of arbitrary rules I was holding myself to, and gave me a chance to do away with them. everyone has to clear out their inventory every once in a while, and these were mine :DDDD
Everything else:
ive stopped tracking notes bc I learned since I occasionally write nugu and non-smut to never expect 100+ and I'm always pleasantly surprised when I get there slfjglah but yeah, there's better things to keep track of like what I did above
these are what really matter to me: yuri, writing, and the community i've become part of. while I do think the 1022 club is a fun milestone to celebrate, anything else is a bit more work than i care to make a separate post about (except maybe on bluesky lmao)
at my core, im a glassy, a true fan of the little ball of sunshine that is jo yuri. i keep saying that as long as im able to make one of you lovely readers a fan of her too, i'll know i'm doing good! so to all you box followers, all you honorary glassys, please tune in to yuri! she just released her tenth(!!!) OST entitled Spring Days Pass, will appear in Squid Game season 2 which premieres on Dec. 26 on Netflix, and is bound to have a comeback lined up soon :cuteplead: please join me in supporting her! :DDDD
Aaaaand that's it I think? A wild ride for sure, and I'm happy to have spent it here doing what I love. Hopefully all you readers also show greater support to my fellow writers and friends on here, and as always, stay tuned for more box fics in the future!
Thanks for reading, and see you all in October Autumn Box season 2!!
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lunarsilver · 3 months ago
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What awaits you in September?
It's been a while since I've done a PAC, but I felt like doing one today. I've used charms and intuition for this one. Pick the pile you're feeling drawn to and see what awaits you in the next September.
REMEMBER
I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Divination will never replace meetings with them.
It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.
If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them, and that’s okay, too.
Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason of making it.
1 ~ 2 ~ 3
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Group 1
As I was asking what awaits you in September while picking charms, a charm with words meaning “fingers crossed” (the message is written in my native language and literally means “holding thumbs” though, which looks like this 👍) fell to the ground. In that same moment I holded another charm, about to take it out of the bowl, saying “a selfie together?”. The way this first charm looks, it gives me a feeling someone (your spirit guides, maybe) is rooting for you to have enough courage to ask somebody to take a selfie together. Maybe you’ll make a “thumbs up” gesture while taking this photo. I asked for additional context of this selfie and the charms which I took out (all close together) were “smile”, “you’re cool” and “I like you just the way you are”. A friend? A crush? My mind keeps going to a scenario of a confident female friend (or at least femininely presenting), especially a new one, and I see done nails (especially hybrid nails, colorful, or with small diamonds on each one), and I think about Agnes from Despicable Me and Priya from Turning Red for some reason. Maybe this person has some similarities to them. I think about a “girl’s girl”, with a distinct style and someone who hypes you up. And probably someone you aren’t close with yet. I don’t know to what extent this scenario will resonate with all of you, but coming back to the more universal beginning, the charms are telling you to not overthink it, smile and take a selfie with someone if you feel like it.
 Group 2
The first charm coming out was “you called?”, then “now you can go crazy” (with this one I almost took out a charm with “shall we dance?”, but it slipped out back into the bowl) and lastly “that was a good evening”. With the way I was taking out one charm at the time, and didn’t feel like I have to mix charms for too long, you have a rather grounded vibe to me. Like, you do one thing at the time, and you are quite sure about what you want to do. Now, with the messages written on charms, it’s either you taking somebody out or someone taking out you - I feel like in most cases it’s gonna be the latter, with how grounded the vibe you gave me is, and the “now you can go crazy” message. You have an approval of doing something unusual for you for once lol (of course, always stay safe). Pretty straightforward, going out with somebody out in the evening (I see mostly a male friend with a kinda class clown energy, or a bigger group of friends). This “shall we dance?” charm slipping out makes me curious. Someone will like to ask another person to dance, but won’t say it in the end? Or maybe another person refuses? The first one feels more plausible though. I see mostly a city setting, like going for a walk when it’s dark and there are street light, and so few cars someone could think about dancing on the street for a moment (again, stay safe, I don’t really feel any bad vibes, but I’m telling you this just in case). For the whole reading I felt like shuffling a song for you, so here it goes: Ship in a Bottle by fin.
Group 3
With this pile I felt kind of unconcentrated, as if I couldn’t pick what to do. If you felt drawn to one of the previous piles, check them and then come back here. The charms from them were showing up for a moment, almost getting picked up. Your charms are “a coincidence…?” and “every occasion is good”, taken out together, which makes quite a lot of sense. Something unplanned is going to happen, but there’s no reason to not do what you had in mind for some time if an occasion shows up. As I asked for more, “that was a good evening” fell out. I kept mixing charms, but it felt like that’s all they have to tell you, I didn’t feel that I absolutely have to take out some other charm out of the bowl. However, it fell weirdly unsatisfactory, and my mind went to cards with song quotes I’ve made and use sometimes during divination. Low and behold, I didn’t fully finish the question and one card fell out: “Sometimes the worst of ‘em have the best disguises/He’ll go as far as it takes to stay in hiding/Uh, don’t you know, don’t you know/’Bout the devil, he’s a gentleman” from “The devil is a gentleman” by Merci Raines, and at the back of the deck is “I used to think that I was bold/I used to think love was for fun/Now all my stories have been told/Except for one” from “You will be okay” by Sam Haft, used in Helluva Boss as a lullaby a father sings to his daughter after her nightmare. So it feels like someone is up to no good, and for most of you that person is either a love interest, a paternal figure or a man in power (a priest and a teacher came to my mind, but it may be someone else). I don’t want to scare you, of course, it doesn’t have to be as serious as it could appear in your head. Just remember to stick to your guts and listen to your gut feelings. While the first pile feels excited and rather young, and the second a little older, logical and grounded, this one feels a little stuck and probably the oldest (either you’ve seen some things or are a working adult is what I’m getting). It looks like it’s about time to get rid of what’s not serving you and spend a nice evening. You may have some problems with confidence, but it doesn't mean you should put up with anyone's bullshit.
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