#it's gonna be a long week my dudes
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Happy Birthday to Ferdinand von Aegir!
I actually made 33 emotes, affectionately known as Aegirglyphics to some, for my own personal use on discord. However, I figure why not share some of them! They're free to use for discord servers/icons/pfps or whatever. However, my only request is Do NOT use them as subscriber emotes on Twitch. You can make them free follower emotes but you are not to make them locked behind a paywall.
#fe three houses#ferdinand von aegir#discord emotes#i thought long and hard about this bc idk the actual want for emotes i made ages ago but#i still love my son and its his bday ad so i should be nice and share#since i no longer have nitro and can no longer use them myself#the fact i can technically post 30 at once was tempting but#some of them arent living up to my standards and also just might not be easy to use in most contexts#so those im gonna skip on lol#whoever wants 21 aegirglyphics tho have at em#i think i might have posted some before? but only 10 and i dont recall which ones#if you want a secret the last three and the middle on the second row are my favorites to use#i used concernednand (the upper one) so much#the internet concerns me guys it was a valid use every time#debated sharing heartnand but honestly the world could benefit from it imo because gotta spread that love#fun lil trivia i love making emotes and so when i was in a server and people knew me as the ferdinand fan and artist#someone was like why hasnt salmon made a ferdinand emote yet#and im like bc i dont run the server and i cant just demand they add my art#and then a mod was like i didnt wanna put pressure on salmon but i thought about it so i was like bet#and then drew a server exclusive happy ferdinand emote#and that was the start of me somehow being able to have like.... ten emotes in that server#some of them were just me joking and then mods encouraging me#cause i used to use felix for every single art prompt theyd give and one week someone said the prompt was pog#and i just was so upset because dude why would i wanna draw felix for that hes not pog#so a mod was like hey if you make a pog felix emote we ill add it to the emotes here#so i once again was like bet and then posted it and then they really added it lmao#anyway sorry for so many rambles please feel free to use them on discord in whatever server#i cant really expect everyone to credit me but also im not really concerned since i fear people know my nands a mile away
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oh darby was BLEEDING bleeding after that crash 🩸
#that’s my boyyy#weh 😭 I’ve had a rough week and I was only gonna stay up long enough for his match but more stuff happened so who knows when I’ll sleep now#I just really hope I don’t miss it aghfdhj I deserve to see my little dude and his soulmate biting each other#blahblah
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Simon doodles I drew at like 1 AM or so recently. In an absolutely genius move, my dumbass started getting sleepy and decided to draw him being sleepy too about it instead of just going to bed 💀💀💀💀💀. Literally thought about The Guy before I realized I could (and should) go sleep
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#at this point I just determine which things I haven’t posted yet by what images don’t have a cropped version lol#he’s so eepy#yeah he’s got a plushie and nightgown of course—#haha the plushie totally isn’t a rabbit cause I collect rabbit plushies hahahaha no not at all erm uh—#and uh random microwaving the plushie so it’s warm image#he’s allowed to have a microwave in the 1600s as a treat :3#eh but honestly I just draw these characters in a random void and make them do whatever so it’s the character interaction void’s microwave#I usually draw him on his side or face when laying down cause I imagine laying on his back is probably uncomfortable#never healing scars are probably not very great to touch very much#this is totally me when i’m suffering from the curse#imagine having posture and back problems already and then Dracula goes ‘hehe I’m gonna make that worse :)’ 💀💀💀#uh dumping headcanons in the tags I guess lol#he’s probably an insomniac tbh like who else would be taking a week or more of no sleep like a champ like that#dude up walking around and talking to people for days and only gets like teeny tiny breaks at the church every so often???#yeah this guy already had sleep set on veteran difficulty#that being said I think when he does sleep he does like a rock don’t even bother trying getting him up#and why would you tbh he would be so sad :( it took him so long to do that :( let him sleep until 2 pm—#yeah anyway yippie doodles! of The Guy™️!!!#I can’t think of anything else
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my five surviving braincells when something remotely good happens:
#in other news… wORK IS OVER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#man. i’m s o tired. i can’t believe i survived almost 2 whole years at this job…#huh. come to think of it… i started tling idol sengen before i even got this job lol. and i’m only 3/5 of the way through it…#can’t believe the idol sengen grind->hiatus->grind(?) outlives my time at [withheld] company…#i did end up spending a cool 20 mins cleaning out my work locker though. i found so many treasures i didn’t even know i had in there#like. there was an unopened 3-pack of wet tissues a n d an unopened box of pens that i don’t recall buying#and ofc the 3 random sponges i ‘liberated’ from the lab. don’t tell my boss lmao#w a i t now that i think about it i should’ve taken at least 1 vial of (allegedly) carcinogenic sand for the memories. dammit.#oh well. what’s done is done i suppose. i did receive way more chocolate than i could ever eat though…#y. yeah. i guess i’ll miss my coworkers (a little). they were fun to annoy every day. except for the new guy bc i don’t like him at all lol#i have never met someone who lacked as much common sense as he. i think he’s gonna get canned before he’s able to resign on his own terms#dude could be spoonfed through every single step of the testing process and *still* mess up somewhere smh#but no. this isn’t about him. even though he is the final straw that led to my decision to resign#hm. looking back on it now. i think i was pretty good at my job for the most part when it came to the things i could do#or maybe i was too good at it. like. to the point where even more experienced analysts were coming to me in search of help#prolly gonna miss being one of the very best (out of like a grand total of 10 people at the lab) at doing ftir-related tests#ehehehehehehe i wonder if that workstation will continue to stay as organised as it is now that i’m gone#a n d i wonder what my coworkers will do now that they can’t ask me for ms excel help for the smallest of things lol#sometimes i just wanna tell them to g o g o o g l e i t ! ! ! when they call me over for it. but alas.#can’t believe these guys know how to use c h a t g p t and not ms excel (despite having it on their resume) smh#omg wow this got long and incoherent sorry guys i think i need some sleep lol. idol sengen next week..#…maybe…? no promises though!!!!!
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my grandparents are taking me and my uncle to medieval times for our birthdays on the 5th lfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#our birthdays are a week away so we usually do our family birthday celebrations together#dude ive been wanting to go for so long....im gonna borrow my sister's ren faire clothes and im gonna eat a big ass turkey leg#BROOOOOO.......im for real going to medieval times wtf!!!! lets gooooo!!!!!
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lads a script is being written!!!
#sitting down and working on my essay script!! finally!!#a week before i go back to classes after not touching it for months!!#its because i finally figured out why I was having writers block (I didn't have a clear objective in mind)#i was trying to do 2 different things (within the essay) at once and didn't realize until a week ago <3#but ive figured it out and came up with a much more thorough outline#i have no idea how long this will wind up being. im hoping to at least get the first section mostly done before classes start. ehehe.#im also definetly gonna need someone to beta read this. maybe multiple someones#so uh. if anyones willing to read over a who knows how long script about owl house fandom and shipping then hit me up babey#no promises about it being done anytime soon though#god recording all this audio is gonna be literal hell dude#ahaha. who knows how many hours it will be :)#lilac post#fandom
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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i'm really sorry about spnblr, sending love (and as a non american your nov 5th post resonated!)
Thank you, thank you, it means a lot!!!!!!!!!!!! To be honest, I expected blowback on my "the November 5th 2020 hysterical site meltdown was at its heart about the stressful political times and not the supernatural fandom" post, and I knew what I was walking into-- I mean, there's really nothing more Iconically Superwholock than dogpiling on a random person for their opinions on fandom stuff! I have been getting far more agreement than pushback, for the record! And it's honestly very worthwhile/funny/even heartbreaking reading through the comments, and remembering the wild political terror, despair, horror, and exhilaration that day involved. Someone reminded me that the Covid vaccines hadn't even been released yet-- we were still in the phase where we feared there might never be publicly available vaccines, and we would just all have to wait our turns to die! Remember that? Another person compared November 5th to the way you often laugh hysterically after a near-death experience; after barely surviving a car crash, suddenly the smallest things can be very funny. I do think the Frivolous Fandom News everyone latched onto on November 5th had to be a Big Fandom Ship with a wide reach that had lots of nostalgic value and a reputation as an iconic Tumblr Thing(tm), because that's the core of what makes it so funny. But again, it could've been Johnlock becoming canon-- it's not really about the specific fandom. (I also think some people are reading that original post uncharitably XD. I said it could have been any frivolous inane fandom news, yeah, but I also did say that it had to be something with a comparable level of Reach--which to me means a similar level of 'dashboard osmosis'/reputation as a tumblr ship/nostalgic value/etc. Yes, things would have looked different if it had been another fandom with comparable reach, but still. The reason I didn't go into depth about that angle was because I think people overemphasize the fandom side of it already, and I didn't want to make another post on that haha.)
But even the pushback I'm getting from Supernatural fans is so far just very entertaining to me. It's very "Potterheads, grab your wands!" ("Supernatural fans, grab your wayward sons?" ) As someone who's also been on the other end of genuinely vicious hateful bigoted threatening dogpiles, this is really nothing so far. It's a bunch of people with ''221BintheTardiswithCastiel" URLS bopping me on the head with an empty cardboard paper towel roll for daring to Remember the Fifth of November as I actually experienced it XD.
#thank you for the ask!!!#I have been getting lots of silly people calling me goofy names so it is nice to get this message#also sorry to the anons writing very long essays about the importance of supernatural and sending them to my askbox#im not gonna post em. alas. thanks for the effort though#i Remember the Fifth Of November#and you cannot rewrite my memories#some people have been explaining superwholock to me in my askbox as if I was Not There#dude...there was a whole week when I believed the Johnlock Conspiracy#anyway#that's life!#XD
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I'm so glad I'm attracted to bears bc being like naturally attracted to men with bellies already feels 80x healthier than whatever the fuck is going on with muscle fetishists. Definitely better for my self esteem too
#also like steroid abuse is a big problem in the gay community#gay men are 5x more likely than straight men to abuse steroids#so like#im def way happier liking dudes with bellies n realistic body types than being another shallow twink#obsessed with muscles n pressuring dudes to try steroids bc then ill treat them like a normal person#until i forget about them next week n theyre still using them#some of yall dont seem to know that steroids or working out a ton is LITERALLY an eating disorder#prioritizing muscle gain over everything else is not healthy#not psychologically not physically#is this gonna stop you?#no#but will it make you consider the effects your kinks have on your view of normal body types n your own self esteem?#probably also not#but i do hope you get better n realize its better to be ignored by a few shallow twinks than it is to waste#your entire life trying to give yourself a body just so you can get attention from them#i know theyre hot#but theyre not fucking worth it#n theyre not gonna be hot for long#@ my friend johny
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dear nagisa, where are you…?
#we really comin up on day 50 lads </3 blink twice if you need help nagisakun…#gonna go back and retag the daily nagisa posts to something else bc it’s gotten unbearably obnoxious and even i wanna block the tag now lmao#i think i’ll only tag the first and (eventual) last daily nagisa posts with my nagisa tag… else i’ll never find my nghy beam ever again#watch as next week’s mv ends up being either ckun or kawaiiriyu l m a o#cmon… even a 1 image kimikawaii mv will do as long as nagisa blinks every few seconds… nagisakun…#the dude from gamushara#o k my nagisa tag is tolerable again… y a y ~
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.......i don't think i've ever had a singular videogame scene affect me as much as the whole fucking scene with malus thorm and the sisters in the house of hope in bg3
#bg3 spoilers#but yeah when i first saw the dude on the map i was like 'oh im gonna ambush him!' but then i noticed i could just talk to him#and well. decided that it was worth a shot#and then i just kept choosing the bard dialogue options bc bard dialogue is always amazing#and then i succeeded all the persuasion checks bc i literally have like a +12 bonus to it#and then um. well.#i haven't had anything that's shaken me to my core as much as this in a long fucking time#it's been like a week and i just keep thinking about that scene and the music and all that#honestly nothing else in bg3 can scare me now#the toll master? easy. the barman? well at first i accidentally triggered his fight but after a quick reload it was all good#(especially as a bard. im so glad ive chosen bard for my first playthrough lmao)#but yeah that fucking hospital scene.#but hey! im almost done with act 2! just the tomb + gauntlet of shar left!#hana plays bg3#hananans
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shout out to thomas from ghosts for yoinking me out of a panic attack before it could really get going
#was shaking and trying not to cry and floating somewhere on the ceiling#then friday im in love came on the radio and reminded me of him doing his stupid little dance and it made me smile and calmed me down a bit#but i gotta give myself credit for not panicking at the panic too much and feeding it more#time was when feeling the thing i felt from first year tm would've sent me into a week long spiral#feels so stupid tho all it was was my volunteering manager asked if i wanted to start doing a longer shift#when im already struggling doing two measly hours a week and nothing else like jfc#but that's cos im not on my adhd meds which make life yknow tolerable and im gonna try getting back on them next week#and i also don't wanna start anything else bc i wanna change my name first so it's not quite so complicated#hahaaa it's already complicated and confusing and frustrating as all hell#but ik if i can just be patient and take these few months to figure stuff out it'll be so much better in the long term#im getting support for the gender tm and I've made so much progress in a month#i still feel guilty and ashamed bc im not actively job hunting or doing more volunteering#and like im just making excuses to let my anxiety win when ik i can cope with it#but i can't handle going into another situation where im misgendered and uncomfortable with my name#im at the end of my tether with it and i need to figure it out#wahoo#mine#vent#in good news tho im pretty certain im a dude more sure about pronouns and have a potential name im thinking of!!
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venting abt unimportant things in da tags ignore me
#yall im gonna vent about a boy#and some other things under here#cause i just made myself sad#anyway yeah idk a couple months ago i matched w this dude who messaged me asking abt my love for e and i was like very open abt it#and he wasn't judgemental at all he was very nice and we just like . talked abt whatever#we were talking for like a month or two nonstop like we messaged every day right#and i even told him it's okay if he doesn't message me everyday i don't mind and he's like but i like talking to you i wanna message u!!#and there was like 3 days i couldn't message him and i came back to see he missed me and he was like soooo sweet#and then he took me to get dinner and we went to his place and we literally hit it off so well??? like the chemistry was THERE#like we kissed and he was sooo sweet to me and then the holidays hit and his messages slowed down#and since then it got slower and slower and now he's just completely ghosted me and it's been a few weeks now#and i should get over it i know like im back to swiping on these stupid apps again but it just makes me so sad#because i really did like him and i don't know what i did wrong or if i scared him away#after leaving me on opened 3 times i just gave up like i got the hint i assumed he doesn't like me like that anymore#i saw something that reminded me of him and i got really sad#so now here i am#anyway i went on for tooooo long let me stop there lol
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this next period im gonna get soon is going to wreck me bc i’ve never cried so much over random things like i have this past week lol
#kai.rambles#i usually already get super emotional before my period but this week dude?!?!?#i’ve cried over food#cried over small situations#cried from seeing vids on tiktok of dogs just doing doggy things#alex’s recent fic has popped in and out of my head multiple times at the most inconvenient times and ive cried each time#if you see this pls know that i will go back to your page soon to read the being stuck in the tundra w/ kats one soon-#it’s just i feel im gonna cry again when i read it so im waiting a bit BUT I WILL READ IT I PROMISE 🥹#anyways ive cried over bkg still being dead but that’s normal at this point#even cried about my new comm last night bc it’s so pretty#where i live we have a lot of macaws flying around and they are very loyal to their partners and will sit on random places calling out to-#their lover so they can find eachother and continue flying together if one stays a little behind#and one did that right outside my window on one of the mango trees and it was so beautiful to see one so close that i also cried when i saw-#them reunite and fly off together :(((#long story short ive been a crybaby all week 🥲
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sometimes......there are a few men......who are just. ugh. and they say things......and ur just like why. why would you think that's ok.
#longing for the kingdom and for god's justice#on account of having to read somewhat tone deaf and Incorrect theology about women written by a southern baptist dude#i have accessed new levels of rage i was not aware existed in me this week tbh#and a deep weariness. because there will always be people who think like that#and as a woman in the church im gonna have to deal with it at least some of the time for the rest of my life.#im just tired. and this hurts. and i hate that it can hurt me yknow?
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the stinky bitch is gone
#im not crying youre crying#its not like im gonna miss her or anything#(thats a joke im gonna miss her so bad#)#my own shit#didnt get a hug or nothin#3 weeks is a long time dude
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