#it's gonching time

[zetexkindasucks]

i got the gonch beanie

asked my brother if he'd seen goncharov (1973) and he looked at me and grabbed this beanie that hes had for 2 years that ive seen but never read the tag on it and

turns out he and his friends got matching beanies and made lore a full TWO YEARS ago

[blueberry-sleight]

something something nobody fixing the clocks even though they have downtime being a reference to everybody but Gonchorav and sometimes Katya wanting to fix their lives

[thebatdorm]

Tim, regretting everything: "It doesn't touch the bald! I hate it when I don't touch the bald with the vanilla extract--what the heck is going on?!"

Dick & Jason, who were actively discussing how they were around for Goncharov when Tim had the misfortune to walk in the room, before giving the guy a crash course in tumblr as a whole: "Yeah."

[sporesgalaxy]

starting in about 15 minutes, for the remaining 9 hours of April Fool's day, I have queued 31 Goncharov (the movie tumblr collectively fabricated) posts that have been collecting dust in my drafts

that's 1 Gonch every 17 minutes. They are all tagged "Goncharov" and "April Fools" (no apostrophe).

brace yourself and/or enjoy :)

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

When you went as a male character for Halloween and it sent you into a substantial gender crisis (after you thought you were done with that and secure as a butch girl) six fucking days before Trump gets re-elected

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

two facts:

I work in back of house kitchen somewhere in Toronto

I use the goncharov watch from that one post as my everyday work watch

If you live and eat in Toronto there is a non zero chance your meal's cook time was tracked with the gonch watch

[blueberry-sleight]

reminder: if you're gonch posting, tag TW:Unreality

[goncharov-propaganda-factory]

I'VE WAITED MY ENTIRE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT.

Hi Neil,

How much has your work been inspired by Goncharov (1973)?

The whole of Season 2 of Good Omens was inspired by Goncharov. Dottie and Sadie, Aziraphale and Crowley's wives, were basically my take on Perdita and Brigitte, the two tourists who worked in the condom factory, and the whole Goncharov helium balloons and clowns sequence. For that matter, without Goncharov it would never have occurred to me to have made the comedy in episode 4 the fact that Dottie and Sadie and their husbands have unknowingly all been booked in the same hotel room, or to have had the Archangel Gabriel played by a chinchilla. Yes.

[vodkassassin]

bout time for gonch 2: the gonchening

[containment-zone-art]

[ID: Digital black and white image, shaded in "pencil." Bakugo and Midoriya standing next to each other. Venus symbol above with arrows pointing to both of them. They are dressed as the sisters from Ginger Snaps. Bakugo: light peacoat, dark sweater and skirt, striped socks, thick loafers. Midoriya: dark winter coat, turtleneck sweater, ankle-length skirt, boots. She holds a notebook. They wear matching bird-skull necklaces. /End ID ]

[ID: Same medium. Midoriya in upper right, holding a camera and glaring downward. Dialogue: "Too much blood... And I can see your gonch!" Below, Bakugo lying with her back bent over a low garden fence. Two fake posts stick out of her shirt. Bright red streams down her chest and over her face. She is glaring back and holding up her middle finger. Dialogue: "Just do it!" Arrow pointing to her says "fake blood." /End ID]

[ID: Same medium. A panicking Midoriya has her arms hooked under Bakugo's from behind, holding her up. She is shouting as a few tears fly from her eyes. Bakugo looks dazed. The left shoulder of her coat is badly torn and soaked with dark red that covers that splatters out to cover that side of her face. Arrow pointing to her says "real blood." /End ID]

BakuDeku Ginger Snaps AU, aka my self-imposed drawing challenge for October 2024 (if you haven't seen one of the greatest werewolf films of all time, it's currently free on Youtube!)

They aren't sisters in this. Midoriya spends a lot of time at Bakugo's place because both of her parents are busy.

My goal is to update this weekly until Halloween : D

Next>

[coldandfoggy]

Hey, can we discuss the messaging that Icepick Joe symbolizes that I don’t see a lot of people discussing here? (Which is a real shame since I think it’s absolutely fascinating)

Throughout the film, we see Joe being absolutely smacked around by just about everybody. Hell, his own gang is pretty fucking mean to him. He doesn’t even have any allies or friends that stayed by his side when he got caught up in the crossfire of the rival gangs. And it’s pretty heart wrenching to see cause he acts rather childlike in the beginning of his time on-screen. It’s unclear whether this is because of some intellectual disability or trauma, but he obviously doesn’t fully possess the facilities to fully process everything that’s happened to him. And he’s sort of a dark reflection of Goncharov, because earlier, Gonch had said that he sometimes wishes he had the mind of a child so he could forget everything that’s happened to him, or at least be too happy to care. But Joe has gone through a lot of similar things, and arguably DOES have the mind of a child, and that only makes him vulnerable for negative influences and no healthy outlets to expel or process his trauma.

He is obviously meant to convey the view people had of Russians as violent and cold because of the violence going on behind the iron curtain. Just like the civilians haplessly watching Icepick Joe slaughter a bank teller for, in their eyes, no reason, the citizens of the world had to helplessly watch the horrors happening in Russia and Germany at wartime, without any context as to how their actions influenced this horror to happen. They are blind to their own actions, and therefore, will never learn.

I found this post in my drafts and I have no fucking memory of making it at all how did this get here. Who made this

[alertarchitect]

The other part of it is that you have to keep in mind the majority of people who are on TikTok. Most of them likely don't have much experience with this sort of narrative-based meme outside of a few Goncharov posts that made their way onto other platforms, and because of that they're treating it how people new to collaborative storytelling would - by saying something, asserting that it is what is happening / is what happened, and hoping it doesn't either get shot down or overwritten by some other person's take being more popular.

The best way I can put it is like bringing people who are used to doing roleplay stuff on forums or Discord servers into a TTRPG game and expecting immediate adjustment to something they're unfamiliar with. Except the people on TikTok don't even have the rulebook, they just saw it happen from the outside and are trying to emulate it without necessarily knowing what made Goncharov work in the first place or the value of building off of other posts instead of just making your own version. Instead, each of them has their own idea, and they're fighting to be at the top of the pile to have their idea be seen as the best one - and so, everything comes off as disjointed and it doesn't trick people as well as Goncharov did, which was part of the fun for a lot of people.

But you know what? At least they're trying. YouTube couldn't do this, even with YouTube shorts being a thing, because someone would try to make it real and ruin the joke. Xitter (pronounced shitter, picked it up from some friends lol) sure as HELL wouldn't do this, even before it was owned by Musk they would just get mad at anyone trying to do something like this and try to ruin their reputation for "decieving the public" or some shit like that, and now you'd deal with a bunch of fascists trying to take it over, assuming you could even do much with the post size limits. Reddit could maybe do it, but it has the same, if not a worse version of the fascist fuckhead issue that Xitter does. Mastadon and BlueSky aren't popular enough for this kind of meme to gain the traction it needs. And yeah, as mentioned, the format of TikTok's posts is not the best for this kind of thing to take off in the first place - but at least they're trying, and while it's kind of a mess, it's more of a "first time doing this kind of thing" mess than a "ruining the joke" kind of mess like you'd see elsewhere.

listen i didn’t even participate in goncharov but how is tiktok’s fake movie already so much worse. there’s like eighty named characters and no discernible plot. despite being an 80s horror movie it is het. no analysis just “guys that one scene got me fucked up” or “i think (new character i made up) deserved better”. personally i think they’re not committing hard enough

[movetonet]

also “you didn’t have to get me anything” for the dialogue meme!

dialogue prompt meme

as mentioned in the tags when i reblogged the meme, i'm really zeroing in on my a/b/o breeding program fic! kinda got carried away with this LMAO but i'm happy with the results and i hope you like it! this fic is ~2k words and is set during sid's second year and geno's rookie year, specifically during the 2007 all-star game weekend. enjoy!

Sidney remembered when his mother was pregnant with Taylor. Her stomach grew so big Sidney had worried she would fall over onto her face. Taylor had been a kicker too, like she could scratch and claw her way out of their mother’s body faster if she worked at it hard enough.

But Sidney’s bump wasn’t like that yet, wasn’t big and gross and protruding. Sidney’s bump was just a little round thing, like maybe Sidney had stopped working out for a month and ate a little more chocolate cake after dinner. But it was still there. The little thing growing inside of Sidney was big enough that it was beginning to show. Soon, Sidney would have to buy bigger clothes to hide it.  

And he didn’t care what Geno said. He planned on hiding it for as long as possible.

“Look good,” Geno said, pulling up behind Sidney in front of the mirror. He tucked his head into the crook of Sidney’s neck and met Sidney’s eyes in the mirror, big and soft and glowing.

“I’m not even dressed yet,” Sidney said, dropping his gaze to his slacks and fumbling with the button.

“Not mean clothes.” Geno wrapped his arms around Sidney’s waist and placed a big hand over Sidney’s stomach.

“Stop it,” Sidney hissed. One of them had to keep their head on straight and remember that this baby wasn’t theirs, that they weren’t really together. Sometimes Sidney wished it wasn’t always him. Surely Geno knew all of that, too.

But Geno buried his head into Sidney’s neck, and Sidney shivered when he felt the press of Geno’s lips against his skin. He could smell the joy radiating off of Geno in waves, just underneath the woody scent of his body wash and shampoo. “Is good,” he murmured into Sidney’s skin. “Smell good. You and baby.”

“The baby doesn’t have a smell yet,” Sidney said. He was 16 weeks—4 long, arduous months—into his pregnancy. He actually read through the entire manual about the NHL’s Fresh Prospects Dr. Burke gave him right before they induced his heat, and he remembered the little detail that the fetus wouldn’t develop a scent until the third trimester. It felt important to remember that, at the time. “Besides, it’s not even—it’s still a fetus. Not a baby.”

Geno grunted, which Sidney knew meant he really didn’t give a shit. “Sweet baby,” Geno whispered, “Sweet Sid.” He kissed Sidney’s neck one last time before he pulled away and patted Sidney on the ass. “Go dress.”

“I was trying,” Sidney said. But he was feeling warm all over at the ghost of Geno’s touch on his skin, the smell of his happiness in the air. 

Sidney finished putting on the rest of his suit, swatting away Geno’s attempts to tie his shoes for him. Geno was an alpha’s alpha who wanted nothing more than to dote over his pregnant little omega. A Russian thing, Gonch had explained, that he was trying to help Geno unlearn. They were making progress, apparently, because Geno only stuck his tongue out and laughed when Sidney pushed him away instead of storming off into a huff and ignoring him for a few days, like the last time.

Geno, already dressed, made his way to the sink to brush his teeth. Sidney stared shamelessly at the sweet curve of Geno’s ass in his pants and thought about how they were making progress on this too. Sidney was allowed to look at Geno, allowed to want him in this way. They weren’t going to…bond, or anything like that. Sidney’s was still Mario’s once the baby was born. But Geno was good in bed, and he’d been good to Sidney during his first ever heat, and—Sidney was basically horny all the time now. Geno was just helping him out. Sidney didn’t have to feel ashamed about liking it.

Geno noticed Sidney’s ogling when he turned around. He shot Sidney a wink, his whole face crinkling in on itself. Sidney could smell how his own scent soured in embarrassment, and Geno laughed again, sweet and low and soothing to Sidney’s ears.

“We’re gonna be late,” Sidney said. “Whits and Jordy are waiting downstairs.”

Geno rolled his eyes. “Dinner. Not want. Want to eat you,” he complained, so sincerely that Sidney had to laugh.

“Maybe after the game, if you’re not too tired,” Sidney said, hoping it would be true.

It was All-Star Weekend, and Sidney had to take part in the festivities even though he wasn’t playing. He did interview after interview about what felt like the same topics: missing the season, Geno and the New Prospects program, the Pens’ playoff chances. Geno spent most of his time with Jordy and Whits prepping for the Youngstars game, so Sidney was stuck singing happy birthday to Shanahan with Ovechkin, eating about two more slices of cake than he normally would with everyone watching him, smiling and laughing knowingly. Sidney basically wanted to die the entire time.

The Youngstars game was fine. Sidney watched from the press box, sipping on orange juice, willing Geno to do something cool like get a hat trick or something. Kessel did that instead, and Geno was the only Penguin who didn’t pick up a point. The All-Star game itself was equally pointless, and by the time Sidney made it back to the hotel and collapsed into bed, he felt like he’d just played through a seven-game series, each game going into overtime.

Geno was—out. With Jordy and Whits probably, grabbing drinks with his fellow alphas and having the time of his life, flirting with all the Southern girls in whatever bar they were holed up in. 

They weren’t bonded. They weren’t even exclusive. The baby wasn’t—it was for the program, and they weren’t going to raise it. They weren’t a family. So Geno making out with a random girl was perfectly fine. Sidney begged his stupid omega instincts, the thing that was making his stomach churn over in a bad way at the thought of Geno kissing someone else, to chill the fuck out so he could sleep. They had an early flight tomorrow, anyway.

Sidney dragged himself out of bed and got undressed. He had just pulled on a pair of boxers and slipped back into bed when the door unlocked with a click and Geno stepped in.

Geno had his suit jacket flung across his arm and his shirt unbuttoned at the top. He didn’t smell like a dingy Dallas bar or a woman’s flowery perfume. Sidney felt the tension seep from his body, and he was too tired to be embarrassed about it. That would come later, probably, after he got Geno to eat him out like he’d promised.

“Hey,” Sidney greeted, as casually as he could muster. Geno didn’t answer, just shut the door and dropped his suit jacket onto the foot of the bed. “Uh, is there something wrong?”

Geno shook his head. “No, no. Not wrong.” He carefully unfolded his jacket and dug into the pockets on the inside. He made a triumphant noise when he found what he was looking for, and he pulled it out. Sidney twisted his head to get a look at what he was holding, but Geno quickly ducked his hand behind his back. 

“Geno, what the fuck?” Sidney groaned.

But Geno just grinned, teeth and all. “I get you—gift,” he said finally.

“What?” 

“Gift,” Geno repeated. He settled into bed next to Sidney, his hand still behind his back. His smile softened. “Gift for you and for baby.”

“Oh.” Sidney shifted beside Geno. “You really didn’t have to.

Geno rolled his eyes. “Give hand,” he instructed. Sidney shivered and complied. Geno cupped the back and front of Sidney’s hand with his own, the one he’d been hiding, and Sidney felt Geno drop something small and plastic into his palm. Then Geno closed Sidney’s hand into a fist and pulled it up to his lips. He pressed a kiss, warm and chapped, to Sidney’s knuckles.

Sidney let out a shuddering breath. 

Geno dropped his hands then, and Sidney opened his fist. He stared at the gift—a circular gold charm packed into a small plastic baggie. 

“This is—” Sidney began, but he really didn’t know what this was, so he went to work pulling the charm out of the bag. There was the cursive letter D engraved in the center of the charm, and Sidney gently brushed his thumb over it.

“For necklace,” Geno whispered, fiddling with the chain around Sidney’s neck. “For Даня.”

“For Daniel,” Sidney whispered. The tears welled up behind his eyes so quickly he felt a little dizzy. He blinked them away and sucked in a breath. “Oh, Geno,” Sidney said again, his voice small and shaky. “It’s—this is—” Sidney still didn’t know what to say, so he stopped trying.

They hadn’t actually agreed on a name. Geno had asked about a month in what he was thinking, and Sidney just spat out a bunch of random, boring name that popped into his head. The frown on Geno’s face that grew on his face as he became more and more disgusted with Sidney’s options had been pretty funny at the time, but he didn’t think Geno had been serious. That he’d considered the stupid list, and—picked out one he actually liked, one he could say in his own language. One they could share.

Sidney almost hated him for it. Once again, it was up to him to remember this wasn’t real.

“Daniel,” Geno repeated, small and accented. “Даня. You say?”

This wasn’t real.

Sidney melted anyway.

“Danya?” he tried. “Dan-yuh?”

Geno smiled, then laughed. “It’s good,” he said. “You say good.” Sidney snorted, but before he could continue, Geno straightened up and asked, “You like? Uh, you wear? Uh—” Geno, honest to God, pouted. “Please?”

Sidney’s body moved before his brain could stop him and he gave Geno a quick, dry kiss on his perpetually chapped lips. “Yeah, Geno. I’ll wear it.” 

That was all the permission Geno needed. He reached around Sidney’s neck and unclasped the chain around his neck, then he slid the charm onto the chain. Geno’s breath was hot against Sidney’s neck, his lips ghosting across the sensitive skin under his jaw. Geno clasped the necklace shut and let it drop onto Sidney’s chest before he slid his hands down Sidney’s back. It left a trail of goosebumps down Sidney’s spine. 

“I guess, uh. I guess we’re naming the baby Daniel,” Sidney said dumbly.

“Is best name you say.” Geno’s hand slid past the waistband of his boxers, cupping at Sidney’s ass.

Sidney shimmied, letting Geno get a better grip. “I thought Paul was pretty good. Or Mike.”

Geno’s free hand came to Sidney’s waist. “Worst,” Geno said, “now come.” He squeezed Sidney’s side, and Sidney was helpless to do nothing but wrap his arms around Geno’s neck and straddle his waist.

“You’ll ruin these pants,” Sidney said. His cunt was slicking up and his cock hardened in anticipation.

Geno shook his head. “I eat you,” he said simply. “Just use mouth. Pants okay.”

Alphas aren’t supposed to do that, according to Mario. It was a relief that Geno did—that Sidney would know what a talented tongue felt like licking his pussy, what a sweet mouth felt like sucking his cock—before he spent the rest of his career with Mario. Sidney rocked his hips on Geno’s thigh, and there was too much fabric, but his clit didn’t care. Sidney’s gut clenched and his eyes fluttered shut. “And if you shoot in your pants?” Sidney gasped. “Because I taste so good?”

“You buy new pants,” Geno snapped.

Sidney laughed as he rolled over onto his back. “Careful,” Geno said, but he was laughing too, and he laughed even as he hovered lightly over Sidney and leaned down for a kiss.

Sidney let Geno take him apart exactly the way he liked it.

 It wasn’t real, but it was good.

[yabagofmilfs]

empty the tank????? i have so many ideas in my head as to what that could be.....

wip list

this one i started ages ago and want to get back to so bad but it’s a little world building heavy, so i keep getting stuck on logistics that ultimately don’t really matter that much when it’s all just a set up for grime. i 🩷 procrastination.

in this version of society betas (regular degular humans) are the norm, and dynamics exist in pretty low numbers. in north america especially, while omegas are rare, alphas are almost entirely unheard of due to mass emigration when an omega safety statute was passed in the 1800s that said “intact” alphas were only allowed in public if they were muzzled. this led to a majority of alphas leaving north america for other, less prejudiced countries. russia maybe, just for instance.

now without the presence of alphas and the rare occasion of encountering another omega, there’s nothing to really trigger typical omega behavior. they can get pregnant so they have the usual reproductive cycle, but heats are pretty unheard of. so they function pretty normally in society, but are a bit of a novelty for their ability to carry regardless of gender.

anyway all of that is a set up for geno coming to america to play with the pens. there are a handful of alphas in the league and while they’re not treated all that well and usually relegated to enforcer positions due to their aggressive natures, it’s not really a big deal until now. because the pens also happen to have an omega who’s a superstar.

everyone is really jumpy about geno being around sid. he has to be muzzled off the ice and wear a special helmet on the ice that covers his mouth, both of them are required to wear scent blockers at all times, and everyone watches geno like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t make any sudden moves.

except they should be paying more attention to sid, who is fascinated with geno. alphas are kind of mythical creatures to him, and that combined with his inherent omega interest and geno’s insane talent make sid obsessed. he skates so beautifully. what do his teeth look like. god his shot is so strong. does he really have a knot. etc etc.

geno starts getting in trouble for taking a lot of penalties, and sid notices that after those games he gets pulled into an empty room with the coaches and trainers. he always comes out looking dejected, so sid figures he’s getting yelled at pretty harshly (he’s not….but we’re not gonna get into all that for the purposes of this post). sid feels bad about it—a lot of those penalties are because geno was protecting sid. so sid comes up with a way to help. totally unselfishly, you understand. he pulls geno aside and tells him if he can get through a game with no penalties, he’ll let geno scent him. it’s the perfect incentive because everyone else is a beta and they’ll never know.

and it works. until it doesn’t.

here’s a little snip!

He couldn’t understand what possible danger an alpha could pose to him specifically that any other guy didn’t. Betas had dicks and they had teeth too. This level of overprotection was ridiculous, and kind of insulting. Even his dad, who’d spent Sid’s whole life drumming into him that just because he had the potential to carry didn’t mean he wasn’t a man, had nearly popped a blood vessel when Sid had told him they were getting Malkin.

It was a relief when Gonch finally stuck his head through the conference room door a few moments later. “Ready?”

Mario nodded, and he and Shero got up from their seats to flank Sid. Rex and LeClair moved to stand in front of him, which was annoying. He tried to duck around them, but Mario put a firm hand on Sid’s shoulder to keep him in his seat.

Sid took a deep breath when the door opened and Malkin followed Gonch into the room. He was glad his lungs were full, because the scent that rocketed into him would have made him gasp otherwise.

All the romantic movies about dynamics described scents as something you’d maybe find in the horrible candle aisle he had to give a wide berth at Target. Shit like apple pie and cinnamon, or fresh cut grass, or leather and whiskey–whatever the hell that was supposed to smell like.

This was nothing like that.

It was unlike anything he could name. It was body musk and sweat and something else that stuck in his nostrils and the back of his throat. He could almost see it permeate the air around him; he imagined thin fingers of it curling toward him, slipping between his lips and down his throat, taking up all the space inside him.

His heart was pounding and his palms were slick with sweat, but he slowly let out a breath and met Malkin’s wide eyes above his muzzle. He looked scared and tense, and Sid hoped his own face was communicating the right mix of reassurance and the need for restraint. He didn’t know if his scent was affecting Malkin similarly, but he knew they both needed to keep it together around the betas if this was going to work.

[goncharov-finder]

GONCHTRODUCTION

Even as the flames of fandom quieted down, the spirit of Goncharov (1973) lives on in our most beloved of tumblr posts, the very place from whence it came. Because of that, my duty is to find how many times the greatest movie of all time appears in tumblr posts!

Feel free to send posts, songs, the entirety of the Goncharov (1973) script, or anything you want for me to count!

Gimmick blog inspired by @how-much-yellow @this-much-pink @pigeonfinder and many other cool blogs of the same variety!

GONCHARULES

Every "goncharov" in a post spelled out separately will be counted at the end of each reblog. If the word "goncharov" itself is in the post, it will be counted and tallied separately.

TAG-ONCHAROV

#gonch count - posts that have been read and counted!

#presented by martin scorsese - asks and submissions!

#winter leaves naples - unrelated posts (not counted)

#goncharov - posts related to goncharov

#not goncharov - posts not related to goncharov

FINAL TALLY

GONCHAROV goncharov GONCHAROV goncharov GONCHAROV GONCHAROV GONCHAROV goncharov GONCHAROV GONCHAROV GONCHAROV GONCHAROV - 12 goncharovs!

[quadruple-a]

I put EFFORT into most of my posts, ya know? But it’s always the ones that took like two seconds to make that get Notes

Thanks for 100+ notes I guess??

I still can’t believe that Goncharov never won an Oscar! That film is a masterpiece!