#it's genuinely a gaslight to think about it too long like i will feel like my reality is splintering

[naivety]

my sense of urgency for this election was all used up watching a genocide play out live on instagram while my mom continued to talk about which politician might make the housing market better and i tried not to genuinely lose my mind over the dissonance. in all honesty short of bombs dropping on americans' houses my adrenal glands are beyond checked out. i'll show up to the polls and do my part and try to plug into the bare bones direct action i can find in the middle of nowhere deep red county state but god. there are so many posts circulating trying to fear monger me into voting for one genocidal president of this genocidal nation over another and i may as well live on a different planet. i can fathom the urgency but i could not make myself feel it short of being held at gunpoint. which may even be on the ballot but that's how americans have been voting for decades now and each of them regardless of party has worried about the idea of being held at gunpoint while a right of theirs is taken away while there are people who are already being held at gunpoint and their rights have already been taken away by the very people being beamed into my eyeballs as the escape from this hypothetical violence that's already non-hypothetically happened to millions who aren't US liberals because of the america they're trying to save from trump the same america regardless of democrats or republicans or whigs or federalists and does anyone else feel like they're going crazy

[glamourscat]

Can I please request things batboys + Bruce does when they have fallen in love with someone? Things they do for their crush, hinting their feelings etc.?

୨ৎ Batboys + Bruce and what are they like when they have fallen in love ୨ৎ

A/N: when i think about them and having a crush, i always imagine them having a crush on someone they work with or are very close friend with.

──── ୨୧ ─────

DICK 

The worst out of the bunch in hiding his feelings

When he realises he is probably the most chill out of batboys

If his crush is also a vigilante he might pull some strings to patrol with them

His love is loud. There’s no other way of putting it. Thing is, Dick is just so loveable with everyone, most of the time at least. 

He is never shy to let others know how much he cares for them. So, at first you might think he is just being his usual self, just a bit more energetic

Then you pick up on the small things

Like his touch lasting just a bit longer than usual. Him being more protective. Him being around you more. Laughing at your jokes even when they are terrible

How would he hint his feelings? Easy. Terrible cheesy pickup lines, EYE CONTACT, like intense. More touchy than usual, hugs, ruffling hair, nudges… 

──── ୨୧ ─────

JASON

If Dick is the worst at keeping his feelings a secret, jason is the best

Truly you won’t know a thing unless you’re extremely good at reading body language

I imagine him, realising he has a crush, and gaslighting himself into believing he doesn’t

Then something happens, maybe someone flirts with you or simply you seek him out specifically for something you could have gone to anyone else, but you choose him, and he realises he is gone.

At first he might even distance himself and you’re like “what have i done?” because genuinely it’s like a switch happened

But when he comes to terms with his feelings I think his love would be more noticeable on the outside than inside. What I mean is that others would be more prone to pick up on his crush than you. 

He would sit besides you on the couch, thighs touching and everyone is like.. Jason? Allowing you in his personal space? Interesting

Would pay attention to the little things. You said you are cold? Here, his jacket is strangely flying on your shoulders

Gifts you books that remind him of you, annotated with specific passages. 

He doesn’t give hints, hell, in a way he hopes that you won’t notice how much of a sick idiot in love he has become. But in the hopes you do, well, he is cooked isnt he? ( a oneshot coming out soon) 

──── ୨୧ ─────

TIM

The worst. A mix between jason and dick.

If tim likes you, then you’re his best friend, there’s no other way around it lol. 

He would already be clingy, but when he realises he has a crush there’s two things going in his head:

1) panics. He starts running around his room over analyzing every little detail and trying to understand how, when and why he fall for you

2) goes down a rabbit hole. He will overthink everything he has done recently. Was he too clingy? Did you suspect something? Do you feel the same? 

After absolutely losing it, same tim, he will assess the situation. He is good at reading body language. He knows how to listen and he knows how to talk. He is observant and rest assured he will put his vigilante skills to action. 

He wouldn’t necessarily ask you out if he comes to the conclusion you like him back, i think it will happen randomly. Maybe one night you’re over at his, it’s 3am, he doesn’t have patrol tomorrow and you two are watching a show together. The main characters are having some sort of love emotional shambles, maybe there’s a kiss involved. He looks at you, you look at him. There’s a moment of silence unsure if you two should confess your feelings or laugh. At the end, somehow, his lips are on yours– the show long forgotten– as his cold hands cup your cheeks to deepen the kiss.

──── ୨୧ ─────

BRUCE

intense eye contact

he listens and listens almost as if the sole act of listening to your voice is soothing for him

Gifts. Like this man would just randomly increase his gifts. It wouldn’t be at once, but gradually you started to notice that one rose became 5 and then 10. Chocolates turned into gems.

Would ask you to accompany him at events, which is when you know, he is at least seriously interested. Because events and galas, as much as he is not a fan of them, are important to his image. 

Little subtle touches 

He doesn’t really express things by words if he can avoid it, so you need to be good at picking the subtle signs 

Gifts aside, they are nice and surely it’s one of his love languages, but when he makes the effort to get to know the true you and what your interests and hobbies are, safe to say he expects the same interest back. To know that you are at least interested in getting to know him not as batman, not as Wayne but as Bruce, and simply as Bruce will put you 5 steps ahead already. 

© GLAMOURSCAT (all rights reserved. do not share, modify, translate and re-upload my work outside of tumblr)

[comatosebunny09]

— cw: adult content, cheating, shitty fiancé, self-indulgent madness, mdni — notes: i can’t sleep, and @alfredosaws got the gears turning in my head. sorry if this isn’t your jam. i was horny and needed to torture myself. — now playing: see through - amelia moore

Imagine Sylus as your real estate agent, showing you and your fiancé around a potential home.

Your fiancé doesn’t seem too interested, busy typing away on his phone or occasionally stepping out to answer phone calls. You titter nervously, explaining to Sylus with a wry smile that your fiancé is a very busy man.

Still, Sylus continues showing you the rest of the house, pointing out parts that would appeal primarily to you.

“You see here? The master bedroom contains an en-suite bathroom with enough counter space to house all your skincare products. ”

“The bathtub has jets. Perfect for when you want to unwind after a long day on your feet. You look like you shoulder the world. You deserve to take a load off with a warm, soothing bath.”

“The sunroom would be great for your plants. You look like you have quite a green thumb. You strike me as a cultivator. A nurturer. Someone who should learn to sit down from time to time.”

“The counter space in the kitchen is immaculate. Perfect for when the love of your life wants to cook breakfast or have you for dessert.”

He’s so very flattering and handsome, and you find yourself falling prey to his charms. You rein yourself in when your fiancé returns, still as detached about the house as ever. You ask him for his opinion, to which he shrugs you off and remarks that he’s happy if you’re happy. Conveniently, his phone rings again, and he walks outside to take the call.

Sylus gives you a pitying look as if he knows there’s trouble in paradise. You smile awkwardly to dispel his worries.

Sure, your fiancé isn’t always present in your relationship. And maybe you agreed to his proposal out of fear, thinking you would lose out on your white picket fence if you refused him. But, who are you kidding? You haven’t felt like yourself in years. Haven’t genuinely smiled in a very long time, and your fiancé hasn’t helped improve your self-esteem, nitpicking when you’re a little bloated or leave the house without makeup.

You’ve recently caught him entertaining other women on his socials, and he would quickly gaslight you, exclaiming that you were looking for reasons to be upset. Deep down, you know he isn’t good for you, and you deserve better, but a sick part of you believes he is your punishment for some crimes you might’ve committed in a past life.

Sylus has read you like a book, and you’ve only worked with him for two months. You feel more comfortable in his presence than the man you’re about to marry, having known him much longer.

“Come with me, sweetheart,” says Sylus, his voice a sweet, sticky dolce as he takes your hand into his larger one.

He guides you up the spiraling staircase towards the main bedroom and lures you into the massive walk-in closet. And when you’re swathed in the darkness after he shuts the door behind you, he backs you up against a wall, your breaths intermingling whilst his mouth hovers over yours.

“You poor thing,” he whispers next to your ear, the hairs scattered across your body standing on end, pleasant tingles ricocheting through your extremities. He takes your hand in his, pressing it against the cool, textured wall overhead, tenderly twining your fingers together. “That Narcissist doesn’t deserve you, now does he?” His lips graze yours, the sensation making your legs tremble like a fawn.

“I can see it in your eyes.” A weighted palm smooths over your side, a devastatingly powerful knee sliding between the fat of your thighs, pilfering the breath from your lungs. He touches you with a reverence you’ve never known. “You don’t love him, do you? Not when I can touch you like this.”

He takes possession of your jaw, breathing hot and open-mouthed against your lips, nuzzling your noses together. And you’re dizzy, the closet suddenly feeling so cramped, and the warmth of his body permeating through the layers of your clothes. “You’re so beautiful. You deserve so much more. I can give you so much more. May I kiss you, sweetling?”

Despite the voice screaming somewhere far off in your mind that this is very much wrong, you find yourself nodding sluggishly in the darkness as if he can see you slowly turning to putty in his palms. He chuckles, the vibrations of it making your tummy flutter like you’re cresting down a hill.

Wordlessly, he pans in, startling you with a gentle kiss at first. Something deft and ghostly, so soft you wouldn’t believe it happened. When you make a gentle keen of protest after he pulls way, he takes that as his cue to kiss you again, this time more firm and full-bodied, the rigid pane of his body slowly anchoring you to the wall. 

Your unoccupied hand slides over his spine, concluding its excursion at the small of his back, and he’s strong here. Sturdy as if he could lift you one-handed if he so pleases. The idea makes you whimper, and he swallows the pretty little noises he invokes, his sweltering tongue pushing into your mouth to map out every ridge and crevice. 

He slips a warm, weighted palm into the crook of your knee, drawing your thigh up to rest on his hip. And, with this new angle, he presses fully against you, the stitching of his slacks scraping pleasantly over the inner cut of your thigh. He releases your hand once moored to the wall to hoist you into his arms, one of your heels clattering to the floor. Ten shaky fingers bury themselves in his hair, sifting through tufts of soft white to draw him ever closer to deepen your lip-lock. 

Despite the spacious closet, it’s growing uncomfortably warm. Too many clothes are in the way, so you tug his shirt from his slacks. Your fingers blindly scramble over his shirt buttons, eager to feel the smooth, supple glide of his skin beneath them. He chuckles something throaty and enrapturing, kissing you velvet-soft as his desire awakens to press against your thigh.

“So eager, aren’t you?” he husks, breaking away from your lips with a sticky click to blister your jaw and carotid with languorous kisses. “Has he ever touched you like this? Kissed you like this?” 

You crane your head back, your skull lightly thudding against the wall behind you. Your lashes shutter. The feeling of his mouth dragging over your skin and his weighted body nestled between your thighs is too much and yet not enough. You cling to his back, your grip white-knuckled, mouth parted slightly with wanton pleas for more more more.

But before he can grant your request, your fiancé’s voice beckons to you through the empty, sturdy walls of the house. The spell that befell you disperses, reality careening in. You push against Sylus’ lean chest with the heel of your palm, panting and gasping, squirming to be let down. Sylus reluctantly heeds you, gently setting you onto your feet. 

He helps you slide back into your discarded heel, kissing your ankle on his way back up, and you try to ignore how your body burns like an inferno at the attention. It takes all of you not to snatch him towards you once more, to kiss him and demand he take you, right then and there, with your fiancé calling for you downstairs. But, as much as it pains you, you feel remorse for how far you already let things go. 

Fixing your clothes and hair to some semblance of neatness in the darkness, the pair of you exit the closet. You don a rehearsed smile, answering your fiancé that you’ll be right down. Searing, slender fingers encircle your wrist before you can descend the stairs. You acknowledge Sylus with a look over your shoulder. He fixes you with a feverish stare that burns like a flame, revealing a deep desire for you. And the realization shoots straight to your center as his mouth draws into an unflinching line. 

Something in your chest pinches and pulls. And for a moment, you consider what your life would be like if you’d given yourself more credit and granted yourself a little more grace. But you brush away your thoughts, fixing Sylus with an unconvincing smile before pulling away from him to descend the stairs into the arms of your loving, soon-to-be husband.  

[hansoleil]

★ ˙ ̟ ─── . “(im)patience”.

— hannie × reader. — 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smut. — 𝘄. 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2734. — 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: afab reader, brat tamer!hannie, fingering, oral (f. receiving), orgasm denial, inappropriate language. — 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: hi! i'm a little nervous about this.

𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔. jeonghan loves testing your patience.

You had already convinced yourself: if "gaslighting" was a person, it would be your boyfriend. Yoon Jeonghan was physically incapable of going a whole day without messing with you. In the words of his closest friends: "his love language is to be a little of a son of a bitch" and yes, you were already aware of this before you became his girlfriend — even worse, this personality trait was what made you fall head over heels for him.

Jeonghan is a contradictory man: his angelic face does a great job hiding his perverse tendencies, it's the perfect combo to make you fall for him and his tricks. The pranks vary in relevance, genre and intention, but Jeonghan manages to throw you off track every time. Things like:

𝟏. Hiding your phone charger and arguing with you because, according to him: "you never know where you put your stuff";

𝟐. Texting you that he needs to talk about something very serious, disappearing for hours and then saying something along the lines of "I don't even remember what it was" when you finally see him in person;

𝟑. Pretending to forget important dates just to see the look of desperation on your face (but he always comes up with a surprise in the end — at least).

It's difficult for you to list the amount of times your boyfriend tried to drive you crazy. It was the perfect combination: Jeonghan seemed to take an immense pleasure in seeing you angry and you got annoyed every single time, no exceptions.

For Jeonghan, however, it's hard to contain himself. You look so hot when you're mad at him, he just can't help it. He genuinely feels more in love with you whenever you look like you're about to jump him. Seeing you all pouty, full of anger makes him want to swallow you whole. That aside, he'd rather not even think about how his cock throbs inside his pants every time you yell at him. And, hell, Jeonghan's no fool. He knows very well that you're only playing his games because you also get aroused whenever there's something going on between you two.

── ★ ˙ ̟ ──────── . ♡

Don't get it wrong, every time you woke up, you would spend the whole day waiting for the moment when Yoon Jeonghan would decide to destroy your patience, but apparently that infamous moment had come too soon.

Your body woke up before your mind could, going through various levels of unconsciousness and consciousness, you felt large hands squeezing your thighs and a warm breath on the back of your neck, taking a few seconds to remember who would be the only possible owner of those touches.

"Hannie?", you whisper sluggishly. Not even bothering to open your eyes or move your body.

"Hi, love. Took you long enough to wake up, huh?", the grip on your legs was still there, slowly moving his hands to your inner thighs.

"I want to sleep more...", you whined. You had worked until late the day before, your body still heavy with fatigue.

"Then sleep, princess. I'll play with this pussy just a little, yeah? We almost don't see each other these days, I miss you.", he snuggled more into your body as he spoke. The pout in his voice could be predicted, his tone was very telling.

You didn't even bother answering, just readjusted yourself on the bed, laying supine and opening your legs to Jeonghan. This was the green light for him to do whatever he wanted with you. His face lit up in a smile seeing you give up yourself so easily, in his wicked little brain it was like your body became his property in these moments — he would never say this out loud though.

Jeonghan didn't waste any time, leaving languid kisses down your neck and collarbones as he teased your nipples through the flimsy fabric of your pajamas. His skilled fingers played with the sensitive buds just the way you liked it, the man was also making sure to glance at your expressions — observing your reactions to each move.

"Hannie, you didn't ask me to play with them... it's taking too long! You know I can't sleep like this.", now it was your turn to whine. You just wanted to cum and come back to sleep, not really wanting to deal with Jeonghan's antics.

"But I need to get you wet for me, love. Isn't it better when you're all desperate for it, princess?, he said, nuzzling his nose on your jawline. "Let me give them attention just a bit, yeah?", Jeonghan pecked your cheek lovingly, as if he was asking for the sweetest thing in the world.

He lifted your pajamas' shirt, rolling up the fabric until it was stuck at your collarbones — freeing your breasts from it. Kisses were trailed down your belly button, but they went up before you could think he changed his mind. He massaged them carefully, eyes attached to yours, squeezing them with a little more intensity just to watch your expressions contort.

Jeonghan went down slowly, opening his mouth to finally capture one of your boobs inside it, but never stopped massaging the other one. He was sucking at them passionately, grunting against your skin. Alternating between the two buds, he also slightly bit the skin, tracing them with his tongue right after to soothe the pain.

Hannie was a dedicated lover, he knew very well that if he did it just right you would start begging for him to make you cum very soon. And it wasn't a lie — you felt an ache between your legs, the fabric of panties almost turning transparent. One of your hands tangled onto his hair, pressing his face against your skin.

"Jeonghan, please!", you mumbled annoyed. The short amount of patience you had already started to evaporate from your brain.

"You're so stubborn, _____.", his tone as serious as his face. "Alright. If you want it to be like this...", every detail of his oratory sends your body into alert mode. It wasn't characteristic of Jeonghan to comply with anything so easily, something was definitely wrong.

His body went even more downwards, eyes never leaving your. His expression was still serious, but knowing him for so long, you knew that the glint behind his eyes was not a synonym to something good.

Jeonghan kissed the inner part of your thighs, leaving one or two bites on the immaculate skin. His hands trailed up to your waist and pulled your body to him. His face got closer to your core and he nuzzled your clit with the tip of his nose. Greedy, he also gave you the touch of his tongue, still playing on top of the fabric. You sighed, pushing your hips in his direction, wanting more of his mouth on you.

"Behave.", it was harsh, clearly a command. Jeonghan used his hands to press your hips to the mattress, keeping you still. He suckled on your clit with need, as if the pieces of clothing were not in the way.

"Hannie, do it properly!", you whimpered, sounding as needy as you could, trying to earn his compassion. Your fingers even tugged on his hair, showing how desperate you felt.

It all happened in a swift, when you were able to notice, Jeonghan had already captured your wrist above your head using one of his hands and the other as anchored to your jawline. His body was warm pressed against yours, you felt his long hair tickling your face.

"So fucking demanding, yeah?", he clicked his tongue in disapproval. The pressure on your jaw got stronger, squeezing your cheeks until you pouted. "I thought you gave me permission to play with you however I want. Why are you bitching now? Hm?", he shook your face demanding an answer he knew very well was not gonna get.

And your "answer" happened to be different from what he was expecting: your legs pressing against each other, trying to pleasure the sticky place between them. Jeonghan, being one to never turn a blind eye on things like these, made sure to watch every movement.

"You're too busy acting like a needy little bitch to even bother listening to me... isn't that right, love?", your eyes met again. Jeonghan throbbed inside his pants seeing such a dazed look in your face, he always got you so weak with little to no effort. "Am I right, slut? Tell me.", he tapped your cheek a few times, still instigating you to talk.

"Hannie... don't talk like that!", your voice almost imperceptible. You felt your face burning, legs squirming even more.

"Why not, love?", the tone was cocky, clearly mocking you. Jeonghan used the weight of his own legs to make you open up more. His other hand reaches for the hem of your pajamas' pants, touching you directly. "Your little pussy likes it when I talk like that, princess. So wet for me, yeah?", his long fingers teasing the soaked folds, playing with the oozing liquid.

Hannie pushed his middle finger inside, it was just to irritate — he knew only one was not enough to satisfy you. Feeling how warm you were, his thrusts were languid. Your walls tightening around him so good he couldn't help fantasizing himself inside you.

"So damn tight. Wish I could fuck this pussy forever.", he rubbed his nose against yours, fingering you nonstop. Not for his praiseworthy self-control, Jeonghan swears he would've had already fucked you until one of you fainted.

"More, Hannie... I need more, please.", your begging is almost inaudible, he only was able to listen because of how close he was to you.

"One more, love? What a greedy little pussy. Think I'm spoiling you too much.", the raspy voice right beside your ear was almost enough to make you come undone. You felt your body burn, skin prickly in anticipation.

Jeonghan slided one more finger inside, curving his hand to also stimulate your clit with the heel of his hand. He arched his fingers upwards, having all your weak spots tattooed on his mind. The movement grew faster, the thought of having you all disheveled consuming his head.

Maybe it was the fact that you had just woken up, maybe it was all the teasing or maybe it was a mix of those two things, but you felt like you were almost losing your mind — the taste of the pleasure numbing your senses. Eyes closed, moans turning into whimpers, breath shaking. So close... your little pussy was squeezing him mercilessly. The wet sounds and your own voice were everything you could hear. Your movements were constrained, but you tried your best to fuck yourself on your boyfriend's fingers.

Your moans halted, eyebrows knitted tightly as your mouth turned into a perfect "O". And that's when you felt empty. No warnings. Out of the blue. Core still pulsing desperately, a frustrating ache between your legs due to the orgasm that was ripped from your fingers. A very pleased Jeonghan was not what you were expecting to see when you opened your eyes. Tasting your arousal, he was sucking on his fingers with delight. Eyes closed, mouth emitting a series of "hmmm's" — as if he was savoring something delicious.

"Jeonghan! Son of a bitch!", you snapped, moving in exasperation under his body. Your boyfriend shot his eyes open, as if he was surprised with the change in your behavior. His fingers left his mouth rapidly as he made what he could to hold you still.

"Hey! Calm down! What's wrong?", he chuckled lowly, not able to contain himself. His face morphing into an angelic expression, like he wasn't aware of what he had just done.

"You know damn well what's wrong, you jerk. What the hell is wrong with you?", aggravated, you tried your best to slap him. But he was faster, holding you by the wrists again.

"I swear I don't get it, love. I didn't do anything wro- ah! You did not come, my love?", his surprised face was almost convincing, but you were too smart. "I didn't mean it, my love. I can even promise! I thought you were done and was just tasting you, baby.", a born actor, Yoon Jeonghan.

"Get off me, Jeonghan.", you were no idiot. After almost three years dating this man, you could read him like a book.

"I'm being honest, baby. Can you forgive me? Please?", he whined, knowing it was light work to soften your heart. Jeonghan placed wet kisses on your neck, transforming them into hickeys soon after. His sneaky hand squeezing your ass with need. "Let me redeem myself, love? Promise I can make you cum quickly.", trailing his kisses to the corner of your mouth, he silently asked for permission to kiss you properly. Biting your bottom lip, he wasted no time when it felt like you had given in to him.

The kiss was lascivious, he knew exactly what to do in order to make you weak. Tongue grinding against yours, sucking on your lips sensually. It was wet, drool almost dripping from the corner of your mouth. Dirty, just like Jeonghan liked it.

"Gonna let me eat this pussy out, yeah?", he bit the thin skin of your jaw. "Right, baby? Gonna make a mess all over my mouth?", now the tip of your ear. "Is that it, love?", he halted his movements, finally looking into your eyes.

"Be quick.", you tried to sound unfazed. However it was obvious that he had already won you over. He gave you a big smile, almost jumping to get between your legs again. Jeonghan helped you get rid of your pajamas' pants and panties — throwing them on the bedreoom's floor. Hurriedly, he opened your thighs and positioned his body in the middle. He used his thumbs to stretch your folds, observing your core with close attention.

"Hannie, stop it!", you felt your skin prickle. Jeonghan seemed to have a thing for doing things of the sort just to get you embarrassed.

"I'm just admiring it, love. So fucking pretty.", he caressed it fondly. To get a reaction out of you, he licked from the small oozing hole up to your clit. He also made sure to come back and play with your little cunt, swallowing your arousal. Jeonghan pushed the tip of his tongue inside, licking at your walls with dedication.

Your body was squirming in sensitivity, the shockwaves of your ruined orgasm still burning in your core. He now played with your throbbing clit, flicking his tongue at it. Involuntarily, your hips moved against his mouth, looking for more. Jeonghan didn't try to stop you this time, letting you grind on his face however you wanted.

"Ah! Hannie!", you gasped feeling him sucking on your clit more forcefully. Wanting to break you more, he buried his fingers inside of you again. You became a mess, moans turning desperate and sluggish. The pleasure was almost unbearable now that Jeonghan ate your pussy like he was starving. Your legs were involuntarily trying to close around your boyfriend's head, even with him trying his best to keep them in place.

"Please, Hannie! Please, please...", you didn't even know what you were begging for, head completely empty. Eyes rolling to the back of your head, you squeezed the bed sheets between your fingers — looking for something to keep yourself grounded. It was like your waist was moving by itself, trying to get closer to Jeonghan's mouth. You were right at the edge again, seeking the last thing that was going to set yourself free. For some reason, this orgasm felt like it was going to be more intense than the previous.

And that's where Jeonghan left you again. Getting up abruptly, didn't even leave time for you to process what just happened.

Your eyes opened in surprise, you were sure you were close to crying. Fuck, this has to be a lie. Out of all the times he messed with you, this is surely the worst one, you were sure — and this is a big exaggeration, but after having two orgasms completely ruined the time had finally come: Yoon Jeonghan wouldn't last to see another day.

Staring at an empty room and hearing your boyfriend's unhinged laughter, you promised yourself you would do a thousand times worse. But not before (lovingly) slapping the hell out of him.

"Yoon Jeonghan!"

# — © 2025 hansoleil ᯓ★ masterlist.

[cherrycheolkat]

• no blueberries, feat. mingyu, pt. 1 •

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

pairing: kim mingyu x f!reader

mentioned: seungcheol, joshua, vernon, christian yu (dpr ian in part ii)

word count: 4.1K

genre: fake dating, college au, college student!mingyu, college student!reader, fluff, f2l, idiots, idiots in love, angst, pining, denial of feelings, etsablished friendship (reader & ian)

summary: mingyu was just your lab partner and study buddy for several semesters, but lately things seem to have changed, and maybe everyone else has noticed, but for the most part, neither of you even think about what you are to one another until mingyu asks you to be his 'fake' date for a long weekend trip so he can avoid an ex, the biggest problem is realizing that there's nothing fake about your relationship but when mingyu won't even talk about what you are to each other, you start to think things might be over before they even really start

warnings: explicit language, mentions of anxiety, sexually suggestive situations, drinking, established open relationship

a/n: they are literally idiots in love but they're so dumb they almost don't deserve a happy ending - i am screaming at them ;-; ooof writing part ii...and well, i need to update this with additional characters...oops (if you don't know - i am not a planning writing - i just go where the characters take me - they get their shit together - trust the process) besides it's named for a dpr ian song anyway, might as well include him for his dilf status and the accent

xx kat

[part ii] [part iii]

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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

“please, y/n,” he was definitely begging now. 

she rolled her eyes, “dude, she’s your ex - you’re over her, just go and be normal, okay?” she was a bit annoyed at this point because he was over her, wasn't he, she wondered.

he whined softly, “seriously, just come with me, pretend you’re into me for like four days - i can’t deal with her, you know, alone,” she watched him stare at his textbook, looking fully embarrassed. 

she blinked quickly wondering how she was the friend being enlisted for this - to her they were mainly lab partners and study buddies. she had no clue how he had decided they were close enough to even bring this idea up. but she did feel bad. even as lab partners, she knew his ex was genuinely horrible, as in her entire personality was “gaslight, gate keep, girl boss” - as though those were positive things no less. 

she sighed, “i thought it was kind of a couples thing? since almost everyone is part of a couple,” she trailed off. 

he nodded, “yeah, it is, but she’s going alone - she told someone her whole goal is to fuck me one more time,” he mumbled the last part, blushing hard, “apparently, she ‘misses’ that,” he rolled his eyes, looking miserable. 

even she was shocked to hear that. it was certainly a new low. 

“that’s - that’s really shitty,” she sighed, not knowing what else to say. 

she watched him nod, still staring at his textbook, thumbing the edges of the page. she bit her lip gently, “can i think about it for a bit?”

he nodded, glancing up at her. she couldn’t help but notice how glossy his eyes looked - she worried he was on the verge of crying. she wasn’t equipped to deal with a crying mingyu. happy? sure. drunk? yes. whiny and ridiculous? no problem. 

but to see him on the verge of tearing up because he was worried or stressed or whatever, that was beyond her friendship scope. but to be fair, fake dating probably was too. even if she knew some people did mistake them for a couple. that really wasn’t the point.

the point was the longer they sat there fake studying, she knew what she was going to do. she couldn’t sit back while he went off to a terrible trip to the lake where he might be the target of his ex’s sexcapades. she knew he hadn’t dated since her, which would just be a point againts him - she could easily imagine, ‘oh baby, you haven’t even tried since me?’ - gross, she thought. besides, if he were gone for the break, she wasn’t really sure what she would do anyway. 

the standard was for them to study friday afternoon, and then they would usually met up at a party or something and would duck out for food when either of them got bored and go back to y/n's to watch tv and pass out. saturday was fairly similar, but sunday was more like study, and then they kind of always ordered food and watched tv or something. sometimes he slept on the couch - something her roommate would roll her eyes at whenever possible, espeically since ‘sometimes’ seemed to translate to almost every sunday. 

she had finally told him to just bring clothes so he would't be late for monday morning practices anymore. her roommate had wondered loudly why mingyu didn't just move into y/n's room and get a tiny corner of the closet already. she had ignored that unnecessary commentary. 

she groaned inwardly, “okay, fine - i’ll go with you, but you owe me,” you whispered. 

he glanced up, “really?”

she ignored that he sounded a little too happy and nodded, “yes, if it means you can avoid her insanity for the long weekend,” she tried to feel confident about the decision. 

luckily, she knew there was nothing between them. they’re only lab partners and maybe friends, at best, she tried to assure herself and ignore every other thought she had. 

⋆˙⟡

she truly hated packing for anything, and this trip was no exception. the only slight difference was mingyu hanging out on her bed while she packed this time. she wasn’t sure if he was nervous or what, but he kept shifting around on her bed - it reminded her of a puppy rolling around in the hope that someone would rub its stomach. she tried not to laugh at the mental image of him rolling around in search of belly rubs. instead, she tried to focus on what to pack. 

it was still warm enough to go swimming, despite the fact that it was ‘fall’ break, so she tried to decide on swimsuits. ultimately, she just packed them all - they were basically underwear anyway, she reasoned. 

“are we sharing a room?”

“yeah, you know, since we’re together and ‘finally admitting it’ - is that really what jeonghan said?” he asked. he had been annoyed about that response for at least two hours. 

“i literally showed you his text,” she mumbled as she hunted for friends-who-are-fake-dating appropriate sleepwear, aka her most oversized tshirts, sleep shorts that were as un-sexy as possible, and a few sweatshirts in case it was cold.

he sighed, “okay, but that’s such a flippant answer,” he complained. 

she snorted, “‘flippant’?”

“yes!”

she grinned, wondering when he started using words like ‘flippant’ in normal conversations. mingyu was one of those guys who she hadn’t taken seriously when she first met him - he was fun at parties, but when he wanted to study together, she had been seriously skeptical. but then she saw their first exam grades post and realized how well he had ranked. she had wondered if it was just his personality or if he actively worked to hide the fact that he was that smart. 

it hadn’t really mattered though since they had been studying together since then. something she distinctly remembered being an issue for his ex - katie had genuinely hated y/n and wasn’t quiet about it. it was maybe the only time she had seen mingyu fully lose his mind over something - she had never heard the words ‘get fucked’ said quiet so intensely, especially since that they were sitting in the library at the time. 

she sighed, “don’t you think it might be a little obvious for us to show up together?”

“not really - she always said we had some weird thing, so why not let her be right,” his voice was concerningly normal. 

she had been thinking about the fact that it was kind of a petty move. actually, there were loads of reasons she could think of for not going, including almost every scenario from a horror movie - she was not discounting serial killers in masks waiting in the woods. but her main concern was being confronted by katie - it just felt like a needlessly stressful way to spend her fall break.

“okay, but i mean, you couldn’t think of anyone else?"

he sighed, “like who? i hang out with you, i go out with you - you make sense,” his voice was soft, but he still sounded just a little disappointed that she was asking him…again. 

she rolled her eyes, “we could just hang out like normal and avoid this.”

she glanced at him, watching him mull over what she had said and not for the first time either. to be fair, her anxiety was only growing. she left him to go pretend to be discerning about how much of her skincare she was packing, even though she was blindly grabbing everything from her counter. when she walked back into her room, he was sitting up.

“even if she’s there, the trip is just to have fun and not be on campus - you know, a break at joshua’s nice lake house,” he didn’t look at her as he explained. 

she stared for a moment and turned back to her already exploding suitcase, “you only asked me because of her,” she felt like it was very obvious why she was going, but she heard him mumble something, which she ignored. instead, she violently jammed her clothes and toiletries into her bag. 

she absolutely hated that knowing katie would be there made her feel a tiny bit competitive - she had purposefully picked all of her smallest swimsuits - she had even gone to get waxed for this, something she definitely would never admit to anyone. she had even dragged out her status luggage bag - the one her step-mom had given her two christmases ago that made her cringe. there was also the little, tiny mean voice in the back of her mind that had always thought katie had never been good enough for mingyu anyway - she wasn’t especially cute, and her voice drove y/n up the walls - not to mention she was kind of dumb and objectively sucked at beer pong. y/n would also never admit that she used to play them on purpose just to beat them because she was good at beer pong. 

she jumped when mingyu touched her arm, “fuck, what?” 

she hadn’t even noticed that he was lying on his side, watching her jam everything into her bag.

“you don’t have to go,” he whispered. 

she swooped all of her hair off her shoulders in annoyance, mostly because there was something about the way he whispered, with this weird tenderness, that made her feel way too quivery. it wasn’t fair because she knew she never affected him like that. she just shook her head. she was totally fine with everything. plus, she didn’t believe him for a moment that she could just stay. she knew in her gut that she had moved something in their friendship past a boundary that she hadn’t even noticed, and now, she couldn’t just take it back without suffering the consequences. 

⋆˙⟡

she was glad she was driving. she could at least focus on the road, plus they were the ones tasked with stopping at the liquor store, so she only had to deal with mingyu and seungcheol - she only wondered briefly why no one cared that seungcheol was solo for the long weekend. actually, it only annoyed her slightly that mingyu had left that fact out - she knew he could have spent the entire break with seungcheol, no problem, which only made her wonder why he really asked her. worse was her wondering why it seemed to matter that mingyu sounded disappointed at the idea of her not going, accepting but unhappy - not like he had been when she said ‘yes’. 

she walked through the store, mainly looking for the things she wanted. her ideal party weekend was starting her day off with something bubbly and moving on to liquor by lunch. she wasn’t really paying attention to the cases of beer, tequila, and vodka mingyu and seungcheol were collecting. instead, she was in line to pay for her stuff and some edible gummy candies she noticed last minute - she grabbed several of those. she could’ve kicked herself for not asking her roommate’s girlfriend for some weed before she left. she waited next to her car for them to come out, answering a few texts. she ignored the ones from mingyu. she couldn’t help that she was from a family of people who completely avoided their emotions, plus she could see the message preview - it wasn’t anything life-changing. 

when they came out, she wasn’t super shocked by the very full cart or the fact that they practically filled the back of her suv - they had to move their bags into the seat with seungcheol. it was like half the soccer team, their girlfriends, and friends for five nights, after all. the team wasn’t known for holding back at any of their parties - the rule was ‘no empties.’ she could only hope that the people getting food were grabbing enough to balance everything out. 

the rest of the drive was uneventful. it was pretty though - even if it still looked like summer and not a bit like fall. 

the house was a massive hunk of glass overlooking the lake. everything was very modern and sleek inside. she had been imagining something a little more cozy, less brutal. but that didn’t really matter, especially when they started divvying up the rooms - she and mingyu had a room that shared a bathroom with seungcheol’s room. and it hit her immediatly, mingyu was staying in seungcheol’s room. she wasn’t sure why it annoyed her, but it did, especially when she planned to be sharing a room with him. 

she starfished out on the bed - her bed - and decided she would probably go home the next day. there was literally no reason for her to be here, and there probably never had been. also, sharing the bathroom with two whole ass guys just sounded miserable. she sat up after a few moments of moping, remembering the edibles she had - she ate three and dropped back onto the bed. she wasn’t planning on coming out of her room. mingyu could get fucked, she decided. 

it was seungcheol who was leaning over when she woke up with a yelp, “what the fuck?” her heart was pounding. 

he laughed, “sorry, mingyu wondered if you were okay, so i came to check,” he raised an eyebrow, “you seem alive, though,” he concluded.

she rolled her eyes, “thanks for the astute diagnosis, dr. choi,” she murmured and fell back onto the bed.

he laughed, “seriously though, you good?”

she exhaled loudly, “is he like standing in the bathroom or something?”

seungcheol shook his head.

“liar,” she groaned and rolled over, “i’m going home in the morning, so he can stop feeling whatever way he’s feeling.”

seungcheol looked surprised, “you’re just heading back? isn’t this like the first time you’ve like been somewhere together?”

she shrugged, “and?” your annoyance was definitely coming through, loud and clear.

seungcheol nodded, “right, you two have weird vibes, but look, i need him out of my room - my date is here, and i actually want to spend time with her.”

she could only roll her eyes, “so four people and one bathroom - this is only getting better,” she sighed, “i should just go home now.”

seungcheol shrugged, “whatever, just say it’s okay for him to come in here, so he stops whining in my room - it’s seriously killing my mood.”

“okay, whatever, i don’t care.” 

this was truly going downhill as far as she was concerned. and why would mingyu be whining to seungcheol anyway, she wondered. she heard him come into the room, but she didn’t move. even when he sat on the bed, she stayed still. 

“are you really leaving?”

she pressed her lips together, thinking, “probably not, but seriously, why did you even ask me?” 

she had maybe run out of whatever annoyance she had felt before at being woken up out of nowhere, plus her edibles were wearing off. she sat up so she was next to him, “just tell me what this is - like i’m a buffer, right? but you didn’t tell anyone that i was just coming along, you told them we’re dating, and that comes with like expectations,” she trailed off. 

“since when do you care about expectations?”

she wondered if smacking him would be too strong of a reaction. 

this was all such a bad idea. she was going to have a shit weekend and probably lose her friend in the process. 

⋆˙⟡

the rest of the night was uneventful, with everyone filtering in and no one eating at the same time. she grabbed food and something to drink and mostly avoided conversation, especially if it had to do with her and mingyu. 

she also decided if she pretended this was like a retreat, she could just focus on swimming and hiking since, according to her phone, there were some great trails around. and obeying her fake retreat rules, she grabbed some extra water and headed to bed early - she needed to sleep if she was going to go for a sunrise swim. she was glad that she brought a sleep mask and ear plugs.

her only problem was mingyu’s texts. he hadn’t answered her question about why he asked her or explained why he went nuclear and told everyone they were dating. she had thoughts on what was going on, but she was as bad as he was. even lying in bed, in her not sexy at all clothes, her brain was in overdrive thinking about him in ways she didn’t want to be, especially since her phone kept going off. she knew he was thinking about her, even if it was this pretend, fake way - it didn’t matter. she pulled her pillow over her head to try to drown out the telltale buzzing. she refused to check her phone. 

even when she finally heard the sounds of people going to bed. she cringed at the idea of seungcheol fucking. her gut reaction was that man would be loud. 

she heard the footsteps outside their door, “come on mingyu - baby, just come to my room - you know you want to,” she sat up, knowing the voice immediately. 

“no, i told you i’m not” — she heard the sudden wet sounds of a kiss.

“fuck, katie, stop - what are you not hearing?” she could hear the edge in his voice. 

she sighed, she was technically there to help him avoid this kind of thing. she got out of bed and pulled off her sleep shorts, so she was clearly down to just her panties and tshirt, and tossed her sleep mask. 

she walked to the door and opened it slowly, “gyu?” she made sure sleep was thick in her voice, as she pouted up at him adn tugged his shirt sleeve, “come to bed,” she whispered, biting her lower lip gently. 

she didn’t even look at katie, just him.

he looked at her, “hey, baby,” he didn’t miss a beat, pulling away from katie as fast as he could and walking into their room after her, closing and locking the door. 

she walked back over to the bed and flopped back onto the soft mattress, “helpful enough?” she asked. 

the low light from outside was enough for her to see him nod, “sorry we woke you up,” his voice was soft. 

she shook her head, “it’s fine, just come to bed - i want to swim in the morning,” she was already happily back under the duvet. 

he was gone long enough for her to doze, but she opened her eyes when she heard him, “do you literally mean come to bed?”

she turned over and threw the covers back and patted the spot next to her. he still looked uncertain. she sighed and moved so she was on her knees - she grabbed his hand, “how much more of an invitation do you need?”

“you didn’t even check my messages,” his voice was so small - he sounded hurt. 

she tried to find some answer in the way he was looking at her. but there was nothing besides the fact that she had hurt his feelings. ignoring him was the only thing she knew genuinely drove him nuts - he had told her when they were strictly lab partners how much he hated it - how much it annoyed him. she rarely ignored him. but she had tonight, mainly because her own thoughts were kind of fucked, seeing his stream of conciousness texts would have made it worse.

“so let me apologize,” she whispered, pulling his hand gently - it wasn’t lost on her that he was just in his underwear. 

he let her pull him into bed, and she straddled him, reaching down to smooth his hair back from his face, “what hurts, baby?” 

he touched his lips - she nodded, leaning down to kiss him softly. she held his jaw gently and kissed him slowly. she moaned faintly when she felt his hands ghost along her lower back and under her shirt. his hands were so warm, she shivered. she deepened their kiss, tracing her fingers through his hair as she did, loving how soft his hair was. they stayed that way, making out like it was the only thing in the world that mattered. even when she felt one of his hands slide down over the curve of her ass to trace his fingers under the hem of her panties, she didn’t break the kiss. she wasn’t worried about where his hands might wander. there were only so many things he could touch. 

when she finally pulled away to breathe, she still played with his hair, “so, tell me what we’re doing, mingyu - so we both know, please.”

she could feel his hands on the backs of her thighs - he squeezed her thighs lightly, “what we do every weekend, y/n,” his voice was low.

she bit her lip softly, thinking about the weekend before, letting all her memories bubble to the top. her favorite part was the way he had held her back against his chest, leaning down to kiss her while he fucked her from below. 

she shook her head gently, “just say it - tell me the way you told everyone else,” she murmured. 

she waited for anything besides silence before sitting up and shaking her head. she moved to her side of the bed. she didn’t understand how they had gone so fluidly from one thing to another without really talking about it at all. but then again, that was maybe exactly how it happened - they hadn’t called it anything - it was just what they did. and she hadn’t cared about what it was anymore than he had until he brought it up - until he told people what they were. but somehow, that was the fake part - actually calling it a relationship wasn’t real, even though they had clearly been more than friends or anything else for months. 

⋆˙⟡

she went to sleep purely for spite. and when she woke up with her alarm, she slipped out of bed, grabbed her swimsuit and went to change. it was when she walked out of the bathroom and by the bed that she felt him grab her hand gently, “are you really going out?”

she nodded, “yeah, why shouldn’t i do the stuff i want?”

“i didn’t say you shouldn’t,” he let go of her, sighing as he shifted around under the duvet. 

she didn’t repsond, instead, she just grabbed her stuff and went quietly through the house and out the back. she walked along the dock, pausing at the end for a moment before jumping into the cool waters. even when she surfaced, she couldn’t get him out of her mind. she floated, thinking about the fact that whatever they were was only nameless when they were alone. she laughed to herself. 

she got out when she started to feel chilly. she dried off and walked back to the house. she poked around the kitchen to find something for breakfast and some ice - she had kept her own drinks in their room, knowing they would be gone otherwise. 

she went back to their room, bypassing the bed in favor of going onto the balcony they had. she hadn’t looked at it the night before. she only went back in to grab a bottle of champagne. she popped the cork, not really caring that it wasn’t chilled yet. she sipped it before sticking the bottle in the ice she had gotten. she ate fruit and some leftover steak she had found in the fridge. she scrolled through her socials. 

a few of her friends had messaged to ask if she were really dating mingyu - her blanket response was easy, ‘no.’ 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

a/n: told you they are dumb af...trust the process, yes they're about to be messy af...but i only write happy endings

♡ kat

[part ii] [part iii]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

tag list: @syluslittlecrows

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[gay-dorito-dust]

Since you said you only have one more Joaquin Torres request left, can I request one too?

This is an angsty one, probably fluff ones Joaquin settles.

So basically the reader used to be in a situationship with another Avenger. You used to be a very bubbly, sunshine and happy-go-lucky kinda person but they leave you for another person and they start cherishing their new significant other in ways they never did to you which is a huge blow to your self-confidence. Then you meet Joaquin but by the time you meet Joaquin, you’re basically a cold, grumpy, rbf kinda person who has their walls up.

Joaquin’s golden retriever personality helps them open up again and eventually fall in love.

I might have to make a part two…I went on too long…

You were once someone that shone like pure gold in the eyes of many, a smile so wide and genuine it send warmth into the people closest to you, eyes so bright and filled with unbridled joy and optimism and faith in a better future. You had a way about you that made your fellow avengers that everything would work out should you remain strong as a unit, as a team, if not for a dream that built the avengers but for the sake of humanity itself and the future generations that lol live long after you were all gone.

You were a friend for all regardless of their past circumstances that left them with blood on their hands, you saw the best in them when they couldn’t and you uplifted them to the best of your abilities, smiling with the upmost pride when they prove your hunch about them right. You knew how to cheer someone up with a few words and the right gestures, you were the shoulder many cried upon when things within their heads gotten too much, the tender touch that they all needed in their life to remember that kindness could look upon their haunted souls.

You use to shine like gold, but not so much anymore…your shine wasn’t meant to last forever and fate deemed that you had became a ray of hope and fairness for far too long, and that it was time to remind you that humanity wasn’t as kind as you stubbornly believed.

And it all started with that stupid situationship you had with a fellow avenger. You were naive to think that they’d ever let you out of the metaphorical closest, especially with how often your hastily and emotion driven and sometimes last minute meet ups at each other’s rooms late at night. They didn’t want you as much as they wanted another and you were too high on the feeling of what you thought was being wanted, to the point that you didn’t see how often their eyes moved away from you and towards someone else, their hands might’ve been on your waist and up your nightshirt, but those touches meant nothing to them as much as they meant to you.

You thought what you had was something with substance, something that would soon flourish into a full fledge relationship where you didn’t have to hide your affections anymore, so you waited patiently as months past as your situationship continued with the belief that they wouldn’t dare hurt your heart. You were so obvious to what you wanted to happen that you didn’t notice that they had been pulling away until it was too late, they didn’t bring you gifts nor did they whisper sweet nothings into your ear anymore, they kept looking past you and never at you anymore and soon enough your name never felt their lips when you use to kiss; the name of another had become the most frequent slip up they always tried to gaslight you for looking too deep into.

Soon your hopeful optimism shattered and your eyes had opened as your once golden glow has simmered down to a mournful blue, or a deeply destroyed purple as cold crept through your veins where warmth once was, you had started to see that they used you as a bed warmer for another. You had begun to realise that you had been had as you watched who you thought was your other half smile and laugh more genuinely with another then they ever did with you, and they didn’t even look remotely guilty with how they treated you as they looked at you with victory in their eyes, telling you that they finally had the one they wanted and that person wasn’t you.

You watched as they had become more openly affectionate with another, kissing their neck and hugging them from behind in the kitchen during the mornings, smiling as they called them the sweetest names that only made blue rose in your throat and your first clench in not anger but hurt and humiliation. You felt like a fool for believing in such a stupid thing as love for it was fake, an illusion used to hurt others to get what they truly want, love was manipulation and you were manipulated to the point where you were tricked into thinking that you could have something that was yours and yours alone.

They never did this with you and soon enough news of their relationship had broke throughout the tower, congratulations were given to the happy couple, all but yours as you stood the furtherest away from your team as a scowl replaced your smile and a scoff leaves your mouth rather then a laugh of joy. ‘Pathetic.’ Was what left your lips like venom instead of a hopeful wish that they would live happily together, you had lost your shine and your warmth and it was all because of them; and because of the false promises you were given you had no desire to keep pushing to be the uplifting spirit of the team when you had Ben treated wrongly by another who now had everything they wanted, and all without repercussions too.

You use to shine, now you were one with the pessimists and the people who knew the truth about being vulnerable with the wrong person, it fractures your idea of people and you didn’t view a single person within the room worth of your vulnerability anymore nor your trust; you were a midnight blue or a hurting purple that was soo deep in colour it was almost black.

Joaquin shone bright like gold. His smile brightened the room and his eyes were twinkling with pride, with hope and such optimism it made you sick seeing him. His voice was filled to the brim with warmth, with happiness and joy that made Sam reminiscent of who you use to be whenever he looked into his eyes, Sam saw a ghost of you within Joaquin; Joaquin was a man who was the embodiment of hope and of unconditional love whenever he flung his arms over someone’s shoulder while smiling that notion smile.

However whenever he tries to throw his arm over your shoulder, you’d swat it aside harshly before leaving the room, leaving Joaquin confused and disheartened at your cold exterior and hostile attitude towards anyone and everything that moved or even breathed in your direction. He didn’t know what was up with you but he knew that this didn’t come from nothing, that you were born with coldness within your veins and ice within your heart, Joaquin knew something was wrong the moment he met you as he could feel your biting stare piece the back of his head.

So he went to Sam for answers.

‘They use to be a lot like you.’ Sam tells the young man. ‘Happy, hopeful, our ray of hope and guiding light of the avengers who could always make us feel invincible with just a few words.’ He chuckles as he remembered the times you had given him hope that the future would be kind and prosperous for him, and he still believed in your words more now than ever. ‘They once shone like the purest of gold and was warmer than any fire, the person who was the most comfort than any blanket could ever provide.’ Sam finishes as echos of your laugh haunted his mind.

Joaquin frowned when he saw Sam’s eyes become distant and sad, as though he was mourning you like you were dead, and couldn’t help but become even more curious as to how you could’ve become so cold and miserable as a person within a blink of an eye. ‘What happened?’ He asked, unable to comprehend that you use to smile as bright as anything, uplift others and give them something to believe in, not when all he saw was someone deeply hurt by their past and too stubborn to let anyone in and so heavily guarded of their heart.

Sam sighed as he looked at you from the corner of his eye, wearing your suit that once had a colour scheme matching your warmth and hopefulness, now changed to far colder colours to better match the current state of your heart and mind. ‘They were in love with another avenger, well they thought they were at least.’ Sam replied as he recalled the drastic change within you, seeing in your eyes that fateful day that reality has hit you harder then any punch, how quickly your tune hand changed from a triumphant orchestra to something far more lonely and isolated.

You might not have had the heart to personally tell him what happened, but Sam knew for them way your eyes became cold when they announced their relationship so freely and smugly, he knew when he saw your heart shatter within your chest and became a fortress of ice to keep anyone else out for good.

Joaquin’s jaw clenched at the idea of anyone being treated wrong, especially you, but he was in dire need to learn more and so he kept quiet when Sam continued the story. ‘They thought that it was finally their time to be truly happy, to have someone to have and to hold forever, but the dickhead they were with treated them with such disrespect and disregard for so long that when they realised that they were tricked.’ Sam stopped to gauge Joaquin’s reaction, noticing how his knuckles were clenched in his lap, his restlessness to know more and the way his posture had become straightened as though trying to compose himself from the feelings raging within him.

‘It was already too late and ever since then (name) had become recluse, isolated from the rest of the group, unable to be vulnerable with us anymore and prone to distrusting others upon a first glance.’ Sam then rested a hand upon Joaquin’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly as he saw the look upon his face, smiling. ‘So don’t take it to heart kid, it’s just how they are now and they’re only doing what they’re doing to protect themself, don’t take it as an attack on you becuase you would do the same if you were in their situation. So it’s best to leave them alone.’ Sam finished.

Joaquin, feeling as though he could do something to help you heal, stood up from his chair. ‘They don’t have to be Sam, they just need to know they not everyone is going to take advantage of their heart, that there are people who’d cherish them and be the warmth that they’ve been for others for too long.’ He says passionately as his heart aches for you and the pain you’ve endured, his heart aches for the fact that you had betrayed your truth self for safety from others, hiding your soul from those who’d mistreat it. Joaquin knew he wouldn’t, he would never do something so disgusting to you in a million lifetimes, all you needed was a reminder and he would gladly be that reminder for you; to shine like gold just for you.

Sam furrowed his brows, knowing well enough that Joaquin was coming from a good place, but he knew that you’d sooner bite and lash out rather than listen to reason. ‘Leave them be Joaquin. I mean it.’

Joaquin bristles, not liking being told that he couldn’t help you, that you would only snap him in half for even coming near you but he couldn’t help but see that you were in need of help and the fact that no one had given you it was ridiculously to him. ‘No.’ He replied. ‘They need someone to guide them back to who they once were. They need me Sam, I have to help them and see life how they use to see it.’

Sam also stands up and looks Joaquin in the eye, having become protective over you ever since that day and wanted nothing more then to see you happy again, shining like gold like Joaquin does in front of him that he almost has to squint to look at the young man. ‘And why are you so determined that the person to do it is you, why not someone else?’ He asks.

‘Becuase I like them!’ Joaquin exclaims. ‘I really, really like them and if it means working at it every day to help them heal, to help them move on from what their past relationship did then I’ll do it and I’ll keep at it until I see them smile.’ He adds with a seriousness, looking at you from the corner of his eye and feeling his heart ache once more. Sam looks at Joaquin with pride and claps a hand on his shoulder, his eyes twinkling knowingly. ‘Then help them.’ He tells him. ‘Help them the only way you know how.’

[tackykachowch]

OKAY CHAT I DIDN'T INTEND IT TO BE THIS WAY BUT THIS POST IS SUPER-HUGE. Read at your own risk lol

*taps the mic* Uh, welcome to Chili's. So, I mustered up the courage to finally make a post about how I view Silco and Jinx's relationship and why I think it is actually a lot better than it's commonly perceived. Please please please do not assume that I do this to specifically whitewash Silco or make him less morally gray, this is my genuine read on them based on my own experience and views. I do not claim that I don't have any bias at all, but I think that it didn't influence my opinion that much.

I am going to say this from the start: I don't have much negative to say about them and I don't think of their relationship as toxic. If this point of view is unacceptable to you, please disregard this post. However, if you want to discuss this topic with me and challenge my points, please be civil about it and don't insult me. I don't have any ill intentions, nor am I trying to normalize unhealthy behavior.

Okay, from this preamble to another. This analysis is going to be based entirely on season 1 and nothing else. Some of my points will address common perceptions about them in the fandom, some I'll write as a regular analysis.

Now let's start shall we (yes, this is going to be a one long post because they're so so important to me). In the second paragraph I said that I don't view their relationship as toxic. Let me explain. I think this is a very complex topic and opinions will vary from person to person. Considering that both Silco and Jinx are mentally ill this adds another layer to our already complicated cake. So, for me toxic relationships are those where at least one person almost always behaves in the way they see is right, disregarding other person's wants or needs. It also must include unhealthy/toxic behaviors, i. e. manipulation, gaslighting, possessiveness, control over other person's decisions, physical and/or emotional abuse etc etc. These behaviors must be routinely occurrences and not happen only once or twice. You can say: "But a lot of things you listed exactly describe how Silco behaves towards Jinx!" well. No but I'll get to this later.

There's also an elephant in the room we need to deal with: codependency. Now, I don't claim to be an expert on the topic or even well-informed, but I have a feeling that this term is a Bit overused. Terms, especially medical ones, are very useful for describing one specific thing. But as of late a lot of terms are used on things that are not. Well. The thing the term is describing. You don't need to go far for examples: hyperfixation, depression, panic attack, etc. When knowledge becomes widespread, things like that are inevitable, unfortunately. But back to the topic. Are Jinx and Silco's relationship codependent? I personally don't think so. One of the key characteristics of a codependent relationship is losing a sense of self and disregarding your wants/needs, and Jinx and Silco never display that. They are very self-driven characters. And while Jinx did do some things to impress Silco, it's not necessarily a symptom of a codependent relationship specifically. Again, I'll compare it to medical symptoms. If your right side hurts it doesn't mean you have appendicitis, if you have a short attention span it doesn't mean you have ADHD. Mental health problems Jinx and Silco have can be just that: mental health problems. Trust issues, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, etc. They don't need to be a part of a bigger problem, even if there are some similarities. (Also just a side note: I got misdiagnosed with OCD this year, so I take correct descriptions and understanding of conditions/words very personally).

MAN THAT WAS TOO LONG. GET TO THE ACTUAL POINTS.

Alright. So first of all, Jinx and Silco are VERY trusting of each other. They both allow each other to enter their personal spaces, and feel comfortable and free in each other's presence. Silco allows Jinx to do his eye injections, to show him physical affection, he also trusts her with missions for his job, even when everyone else is against it. When Jinx in ep4 tells him that "(her screw up) won't happen again", he simply answers "I know". Despite Jinx's own insecurities Silco fully trusts her (sometimes even to his own detriment). And she fully trusts him as well (until the whole Vi shenanigans anyway), what can be seen in a way she's not afraid of his emotions or even to hurt him, because she knows perfectly well that he'll never harm her in any way (physical, I mean). And although there is a clear miscommunication between them in ep4 I don't think it's a common thing between them, and this specific case was caused by Jinx's deeply rooted trauma and low self-esteem, which Silco is unfortunately unable to fix.

Now onto the probably most common criticism of Silco specifically: that he made Jinx his weapon and raised her to be this bloodthirsty on purpose. And to this I say - no way. Silco DOES love Jinx and DOES trust her, but he's not blind and not an idiot. He perfectly knows that Jinx can cause a huge mess and potential troubles on the missions, his subordinates hate her, her mental state is unstable and therefore she's not the most reliable asset in the slightest, nor a necessary one. At no point do we get actual proof that Silco needs Jinx specifically for his operations, he seems to allow her to participate in them out of her own volition. After all, she does like being needed and included in the family business. You could argue that he needs Jinx for her gadgets and weapons, but nobody besides her uses them, so this option doesn't fit. "But he did request her to build Fishbones!" yeah. After Jinx stole the gemstone, again, out of her own choice. Silco is a swift strategist, if he sees an opportunity somewhere he takes it immediately. So there's nothing actually wrong with him asking Jinx to build a weapon with the use of gemstone. She didn't steal it for it to just. Lie there, after all. As to her bloodthirsty-ness I think he only nurtured what was already there. If you remember, in the very first episode Jinx made a bomb with NAILS in it. I don't think I need to tell you that it's just a horrible idea for a bomb, and she was only 9 at the time. As to Silco's "become what they fear" line. I don't think it indicates that he specifically raised Jinx to be a weapon, because he applied the same phrase to himself and we don't see him running around throwing glitter bombs at everyone (although it would've been cool to see ngl).

Next - Silco is very supportive of Jinx. His office is filled with things she drew all over, her inventions are tied to the ceiling. When Jinx is overwhelmed and upset about the failed mission he tells her to "focus on her gadgetry" and to "take some time". He clearly knows what she likes and what would put her in a better mood. He also doesn't restrict her self-expression, which can be seen in the way Jinx looks. I mean, you'd think that Silco would probably want for her to wear something more...classy? But he doesn't mind even one bit.

Another point I see a lot - that Silco loves Jinx but not Powder. I actually kiiinda understand where this point of view comes from, because the show does frame Vi and Silco as representatives of her Powder and Jinx persona respectively, but I don't think the text itself supports this. Let's take the river scene because it is the cause of this discussion in the first place after all. Silco tells Jinx that she needs "to let Powder die" and that "Jinx is perfect", but I don't necessarily agree that he meant it in a "choose between two of your personas" kind of way, because this conflict never existed between them in the first place. Vi does want "Powder" to come back, but Silco didn't show anything that would indicate of him disliking young Jinx in any way. He did adopt her when she was still Powder, after all. And even if she changed her name on the same night, her personality didn't, because that's not how humans work. So, he NEEDED to love Powder to raise her. Back to the river scene, he tells Jinx that she needs to let Powder die so "the fear of pain would no longer control (her)". "Powder" is tightly connected to Jinx's trauma of killing her entire family and Vi leaving her, i. e. the fear of pain of being betrayed again and the fear of messing up. In terms of psychology she really does need to live through this moment and properly process it, but unfortunately there's no psychologists in neither Piltover or Zaun, and Silco being mentally ill and not knowing better himself can only help her this way. "Jinx is perfect" also doesn't mean that he prefers Jinx over Powder, but rather "Jinx, the person you are right now, is perfect and strong. You need to let that weak part of you (Powder) die, so you can move on and become something greater". Jinx might've interpreted his line in the wrong way herself, but again, there's no actual evidence of Silco liking "Powder" less and only ever wanting "Jinx". And if we hop further into the finale, he literally says "YOU are perfect". Whatever seat she chooses, she will always be perfect to him. Even if she turns against him and everything he fights for, even if she kills him, even if she hates him, she remains perfect in his eyes. He might differentiate "Powder" and "Jinx" and a weaker/stronger part of her, but despite all that she's still his daughter.

Also. He's dealing with her mental health SOOOO great chat it's not even funny. I mean obviously he can't take care of it perfectly because again, psychology is non-existent in this world, but everything he CAN do he does just sooo good. He never lets other people berate or insult her, if he scolds her he only ever does this in private, he always tries to be patient and gentle with her, and the only time we seem him lash out at her is after Jinx stole the gemstone. He also seems to know what causes her psychosis and how to stop it, because he yells "Don't listen to her!" to Jinx when Vi triggers her, and then proceeds to try and shoot in Vi's direction to shut her up. We now know that this wasn't the best decision at all, but he literally goes feral when Jinx is hurt, so can you really blame him? There is of course an issue of him enabling her violence and letting her do everything she wants, but to cut Silco some slack he deals with a very mentally ill child, and as we saw in ep3 cutting Jinx off of something can easily cause her to have a mental breakdown. So I think partly his enabling was caused by his want not to hurt her.

Phew. I think we only need to get through the minor points now.

Manipulation: we only ever see Silco manipulate Jinx once, when he lied to her about Cait and Vi's reason for being in the Underground. Nothing indicates that he regularly manipulated her before.

Possessivness: I think this claim also doesn't have substantial evidence to back it up. We only see Silco being possessive of Jinx because of Vi, and even then it's not pure possessiveness. He literally doesn't want Jinx to be betrayed and possibly even killed like him. I think if Jinx just wanted to leave him on her own he would be a-okay with that. Also he doesn't watch over what she does/where she goes, which again reinforces his trust in her and him respecting her privacy.

Silco isolated Jinx from others: uhhh. See the end of the previous paragraph. If Jinx wanted to befriend someone she could've easily done that, and Silco wouldn't even know. The only person she couldn't befriend because of him is Ekko, but even he says to Vi that Jinx chose to be on Silco's side herself, so *shrugs*

And with that, I think I covered everything I wanted about their relationship. It's not perfect, but it's not bad either. Personally, I don't want to label it as anything, because minus the drug mafia and murders aspects they're just a regular father and daughter. There are no perfect parents, there are no perfect children, but if they try their hardest to love each other in a way they're both happy with, they're great in my book.

[wonysugar]

angel | jang wonyoung

synopsis : she was convinced everything you did was to seduce her.

pairing : wonyoung x 6thmember!femreader

genre : smut

tags : noncon, degradation, manipulation, gaslighting, objectification, wonyoung is genuinely a creep, blood mentioned, scratching, physical and verbal abuse, choking, slight mentions of tribbing, fingering, slight nipple play, just plain suffering tbh, death threats, ‘good girl’, ‘slut’

!! warnings : this is like. PURE noncon so please please please read with caution and please for the love of god read the tags before continuing :(( !!

word count : 2.1k

a/n : okay i know i made the poll yesterday and all but look i had ideas and here they are I HOPE YOU LIKE IT this was so interesting to write cause this is SOOOO OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE AND LIKE?? idk it was a nice experience i hope you like itfkendn

also you know the drill THIS IS NOT OKAY NOR IS IT HEALTHY DON’T DO THIS IRL BITCHES CONSENT IS KEY YALL😭🙏🙏do not give tea to someone who doesn’t want tea CAUSE THEY DON’T WANT ITT IT’S SIMPLE

god, finally.

you sat on the corner of your mattress, still carefully drying your wet dripping hair with the fluffy towel that belonged to you. after a shower like that? you felt refreshed, you felt good and oh did you feel so ready to just pass out on your bed at that moment. that was until you remembered that you couldn’t; since you had to wait for wonyoung, your dorm mate, to come back from the mall with yujin— or, wherever the hell they were at this hour. her dumbass forgot to bring the keys with her, so you’d have to stay awake to be able to open the door for her.

grabbing your phone, you checked the time. it read 12:37 am, which then lead you to text her, very politely yelling at her through SMS to hurry the fuck home before turning it off again and plugging in the charger. 

what a hassle, you thought, groaning. you were fucking exhausted and were practically dying to get some amount of rest, especially after such a long day of non-ending schedules.

mentally sucking it up and shrugging it off, you put the towel aside and laid down on your back, grabbing your phone yet again as an attempt to cure the ongrowing boredom and impatience inside you; maybe instagram reels would make the time go by faster.

indeed, before you knew it, you were startled by a quiet knock at the door. feeling immediate relief, you quickly got up and rushed to open it, already thinking about the amazing night of sleep you were gonna get afterwards.

“any second later and i would’ve left you outside, wonyoung.” you complained as soon as you turned the knob, immediately greeted by her face. you particularly noticed her expression switch to one of slight guilt as she giggled nervously.

you also observed how she stared at you, as per usual.

“sorry, angel.” she apologized, looking up and down at your entire body, seemingly distraught by the sight of your naked thighs, before walking in and continuing. “we just got so caught up in conversation that we ended up just walking around for hours, i hope i didn’t keep you waiting for too long, though.” she scratched the back of her neck, still staring at you, this time more so focused on your chest.

here’s the thing, you loved wonyoung. she was one of your closest friends, that was undeniable. but for some reason, sometimes whenever you’d talk to her.. she’d have a certain look. the same look that she’d give you whenever you’re wearing a somewhat revealing outfit, or doing quite literally anything, for that matter. it always made you feel uneasy, it made your skin crawl. you’d never tell her, though; she was a sweetheart, and you knew that her last intention would be to ever make you uncomfortable. 

right now was one of those moments, though, and her staring was getting overwhelming.

more overwhelming than usual.

subtly trying to brush it off, you responded, “it’s— it’s fine. just, please bring the keys next time?” 

she simply nodded before apologizing again, clearly aware of her mistake and swearing to never commit it again. that gave you the permission you needed to finally get ready for bed. whilst you were doing that, she was changing into her comfier clothes and also getting ready to sleep as she threw occasional warm smiles at you. 

until she squinted at you.

“man, you look pretty tired, y/n. did you sleep early yesterday?” she asked with a worried tone, afraid that you maybe weren’t getting enough sleep. 

you waved your hand around, “yeah, i did. today just wore me the fuck out really, but oh well.” you cut the conversation short, heading straight towards your bed. “goodnight wonyoung—“ but before you could do so, you felt her hand grab your wrist.

tightly.

“wait but— don’t you wanna cuddle like we usually do?” she asked, her mouth formed into a small pout.

and there went that stare. again.

“wony i’m sorry, i’m really tired and—“

“come on, please. i missed you.” she insisted, her grip on your wrist getting tighter as she kept her unsettling gaze on yours. 

your tired brain didn’t seem to register that, however, since you didn't even think about saying no.

i mean, she seemed pretty insistent on cuddling that night, so who were you to even say no? either way, you were gonna fall asleep immediately, so did it really matter if she was cuddling you or not?

you groaned dramatically, then signaled for her to lay on the other side of the bed. her eyes immediately lighting up, she rushed to jump on that side of the bed.

it didn’t take long at all for you guys to finally be settled in bed and you particularly thrived in finally feeling the warmth of your weighted blanket against your cold skin. she, on the other hand, just seemed to be happy to be there with you, considering the grip she had on you was quite strong for like, literally no reason. 

after telling each other goodnight, you expected to doze off immediately, but you couldn’t. you felt bizarre, you didn’t feel like yourself at that moment. every single ounce of exhaustion left your body and it was like insomnia just kicked in for no reason whatsoever.

frustrated, you tried to sleep. that’s when you heard her breathing heavily… very heavily. her inhales and exhales were loud and violent and you felt them on your neck, since she was especially close to it. you would’ve shrugged it off, 

if you didn’t feel her hands moving a lot more than usual.

“wonyoung?”

you felt her shift before hearing her hum, indicating you to keep going.

“you feeling okay? you’re.. you’re breathing quite heavily.” was what you asked, somewhat concerned. “plus, you’re like, grabbing me—“ 

“sorry.” she responded immediately, “you just— you smell good, is all. i saw your hair was wet, you took a shower, right? you used the body lotion i gave you, right?” 

you nodded reluctantly, somewhat weirded out by her behavior tonight, to which she hummed again.

“i knew you’d like it, it’s so soft and sweet,” she leaned in closer to your neck, sniffing it closer, “just like you, angel.” 

what the fuck was actually wrong with her that night??

getting even more weirded out with each second that passed, you were about to let out a hesitant ‘thanks’ but got cut off by the sensation of her slowly sliding her hand up your pajama shirt as she kept sniffing you.

woah.

woah woah woah???

“wonyoung— what the fuck—“ 

“you smell so fucking good baby. fuck— so good. you used that body lotion just so i would notice, hm? i know you did.” she whispered into your ear, smelling your hair in the process as her other hand went down to your crotch.

triggering your fight or flight, you tried pushing her off of you slightly, but she simply wouldn’t budge. 

wonyoung had always been taller than you by a long shot, she towered over you easily.

your own breathing getting heavier, you were starting to get progressively worried. why was she keeping you in place, why was she smelling you like this?? why the fuck was she acting weird??? 

“wonyoung get off of me—“ 

“god your smell.” 

she just kept mumbling that same sentence as she sniffed you all over, gently putting her hand on your neck to keep you secure, making you squirm under her whilst you’re trying to break free from her tight grasp.

in a state of panic, “you’re scaring me wony stop it please—“ 

“stop moving or i swear to god i’ll fucking kill you.” was all she said back, it was dark, but not dark enough to where you couldn’t see her staring at you with that look again. you were shaking by this point, but you obeyed. you stopped moving, in fear of what she was actually going to do to you.

“look at you, being a fucking slut and putting on the body lotion i gave you, always wearing these outfits around me, and you seriously expect me not to do this shit? god, you probably sounded so good washing up too—” she rubbed your inners thighs with her free hand before adding on, 

“what do you want me to do when your ass is out in front of me all the time, y/n? i tried to be nice and do it only when you’re sleeping, but answering the door at midnight in booty shorts and tshirt this tight? baby, you’re asking me to fuck you.” her hand still reaching down to your thighs and squeezing them, hard enough for her acrylic nails to dig in slightly as you winced in pain.

you tried speaking up, but words wouldn’t come out. 

you could only stare at her, tears quickly welling up your eyes. 

“oh angel, don’t cry..” she pouted, quickly taking that same hand she used to hurt you and wiping your tears with it. you could only flinch “i’m so sorry baby, i— i just can’t help it. you look so good and smell so good and—“ she slid her hand up your shirt and quickly went under your bra, playing with the nipple for a few moments almost immediately as she breathed in more of your pheromones before exhaling sharply yet again. “fuck y/n your tits—“ 

“—i’ll be quick, okay? i promise it’ll be fine, i’ll be sooo quick.”

wonyoung very quickly slid her hand back down your crotch as she forcefully kissed you, tightening her grip on your neck whenever you weren’t giving her enough tongue. “come on baby, work for it, i know you want this.” 

you didn’t. you didn’t want it.

her fingers slipping under your shorts and onto your panties, she rubbed circles around your wet clit through the fabric of them, closing her eyes in euphoria when she heard your choked up moan.

“shit.. look at you, being all wet for me. i knew you’ve always wanted me to do this to you. hm? come on, say it.” 

“l-let go off me—“ 

her nails dug into your neck once more, making you whimper. “shut. the fuck. up.” she whispered, “i guess bitches like you shouldn’t be allowed to speak up, huh. that’s fine, we’ll have you be a stupid puppy instead, okay? you can do that, right?” 

you only cried out in front of her, clit still being stimulated from her long and cold fingers. her disturbing gaze piercing through yours, her pretty face exhibiting the ugliest thoughts she had about you. 

“i said, nod, bitch.”

and so, you nodded. eagerly, at that. of course you did, with the amount of strength this girl was putting on her grip, you needed to obey her every word.

even if you had abundant tears rolling down your face.

“you’re so pretty like this.” she breathed out, before kissing you then pulling back away, “you’re getting me so fucking wet y/n.” 

then, she gradually reaches into your underwear and puts her hands on your naked cunt, rubbing the slit and feeling how wet it is. in response to that, she laughed. 

she laughed in your face.

but before you could even process anything, however, she already had two of her fingers buried deep inside your pussy, already curling in all of the right places.

and that’s when you remembered the fact that she had acrylic nails on. 

“w-wonyoung— take them out take them out it h-hurts wonyoung it hurts p-please—“

“i don’t give a shit. you’re gonna be a good fucking girl and take it. you know what’ll happen if you don’t, don’t you?”

she pumped and curled her fingers in and out, watching you as your facial expressions changed with each movement she made, smiling and mocking you.

and that went for what felt like hours. 

until she decided she had enough of you crying and begging for her to stop. she believed that it was, in her words, ‘her turn to feel good’ now.

so she took off her own clothes and rubbed her dripping pussy onto your own, her hand digging into your neck if you moved in a way she didn’t like. 

her words rang in your head, things like “y-you’re so fucking selfish y/n, it’s usually so much better, whenever you’re sound a-asleep peacefully— oh my god.”

it didn’t take long for her to cum, since seeing you sob so prettily made her so unbelievably aroused. and when she did, she just went back to cuddling you. as if you weren’t bleeding from your nose, thighs and neck. as if you weren’t in pain, she just went back to cuddling you.

and you just had to silently cry in her arms. those were the only ones you could do that in at that moment.

[midnight-mourning]

*Taps mic* Heard y'all like Moon around here, you're in luck, this one's for you

massive, MASSIVE thank you to @lunarmoves for beta-reading this chapter!!

She put a lot of time and effort into making my BS readable for y'all and it's greatly appreciated <3 <3 <3

Shay also makes really good dca stuff (also sebastian solace but I know very little about the fish tbh) and you should check her out!

Also, happy 200k+!!! We're only 297k from truly becoming the 500k enemies to lovers slowburn of our dreams lmaoooo

But for real I apologize for such a delay with this one. If you'd like to hear my excuses/reasoning they're below the cut, or you can just go read the chapter whatever suits ya ^-^

Tag list (if you would like added please see this post for more info):

@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8

@luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @amarynthian-chronicles

@robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva

CW: medical stuff & additionally a bit of unreality mentions

Okay going to try and keep this simple bc I've said parts of it before

So as most of you know, I've been sick for 3 months now

I've now been on two rounds of steroids, and currently on my third round of antibiotics, which are basically keep me fucntional, not improving

besides general discomfort and pain, my memory has been pretty shot at times, I will go through the day and barely remember what I did/what I'm doing/what I need to do

as someone who had brain fog caused by covid a few years ago, this was genuinely a scary experience because ultimately, this has been worse

i've felt out of control of my body, having times where I'm mid thought and then instantly lose it

this is not my normal, I usually pride myself on my memory, so losing it has been incredibly devastating and scary

this was not helped by the fact that the quick care I went to (THREE TIMES for this) basically kind of sort of tried to gaslight me into believing nothing could be done and that it's not an infection

so not only has this entire thing has gotten dragged out so much more, which makes me sad tbh, but I've also felt like I've been going crazy bc it felt like no one was believing me when i said I was sick and not getting any better (including friends, family, coworkers etc, though unintentional on their parts to be fair)

I feel like I've lost three months of my life and coming to terms with that has been, yeah

on top of all that, I'm still in school AND doing grad stuff, and while the school side of things has been okay (thank god), grad's had it's moments, won't get into it but have had multiple issues with my advisor that have been at times just really tough to deal with

Confused spirit got pushed to the back burner, because i quite literally at times could not think, and when it comes to this fic, where there's multiple ongoing plot threads, characterizations, lore, and so on to keep track of, it was just, impossible to me to even consider writing for it

having shorter stuff like promptober, the oneshots and such was great to keep me writing, and also still interact with everyone in the community, plus i had a lot of fun with them so that helped too

this is all to say that I do sincerly apologize for the delay, and at the very least I should've clearly communicated about there being a hiatus, when this all started I thought i'd be down for two weeks max, then as that time kept increasing I just kept putting it off and putting it off because i thought i was going to get better, and then I didn't

I do this for fun and for nothing else, fic writing isn't content (it's engaging with fandom) and i have to remind myself of that sometimes but given that I've been around in some capacity on and off I feel I should've said something in some regard

Having said all that, I'm doing okay now! Still sick, but as long as I'm on meds I'm functional, stuff is getting managable with grad, and hopefully have some fun things coming up irl! Point is, the last three months haven't been the best, but they've been alright, due in part to all the support you all have given me, so thank you for that, can't say it enough :)

Okay, I think that just about covers it, thank you for taking the time to read all of this if you did <3

[athycore]

Hello!!! :3 I wish to make a request! I really love your writing style and the way you carry out your fics, theyre so awesome X3!!!☆

Could I make a req of Mob (/Shigeo Kageyama) with a gn!gyaru!reader :3c? Extra points if they do really good in school!

I see that you havent posted in a while on this blog, so you dont have to respond to my req! Please take care of yourself first out of anything else ^^<3

Thank youuuuuu!!!!! X3

-[Anonymous].

OMG HAIIII!!! Thank you so much, about me not posting in a while, i completely forget im a writer so i never end up checking requests, but now i did!!

Anyways heres ur food :3

Mob w a Gyaru!reader…(gn reader)

To say mob was obsessed is an understatement. He simply fawns over your fashion and loves the idea of going against the beauty standard. Although because of his fashionable s/o, he has a hard time blending in. At times he doesnt want the attention but his albsolute cutie of his lover being the center of attention, mob wouldnt mind just this once.

You both go to clothing shops together! Mob believes and trusts your fashion taste to be able to pick a few for him. He wants to hang out and uses the idea of shopping together to get you talking. He enjoys it. Afterall he somewhat helps with some of the clothes for you to pick out, while you help him look his best. He adores your keen eye on managing to find the good clothes that are usually hidden..(gatekeepers😒😒)

When you go on dates he swears he can pay, but his pay isnt enough..afterall regien isnt too reliable. Instead you pay, hope you dont mind. After you both end up going to the park or going to each others houses to hang out later. Mob gaslights(begs) reigen to let him off early for these dates too. He wants to show his respect by simply making time for you like any wonderful lover.

Mob and his family aprove of you so much! You are just the sweetest and the cutest girls to ever approach mob. Ritsu thinks its rad that his older brother managed to get a parnther in general, but thinks even more highly of you when he knows and sees your genuine care for his brother. Plus when you go to mobs house to hangout, ritsu joins whenever he feels lonely. You and mob welcome him with open arms, especially when watching a horror movie.

Mob uses his psychic powers to try to find out what you like in order for him to get the RIGHT gift. Hes just whipped and his friends and brother tease him for it. Simple middle schoolers am i right? He doesnt mind it though.

He introduces you to reigen and reigen approves. Reigen sees you as fit, and an adorable girl who would help mob by the long mile. Mob also introduced you to teru and sho, as well as the other psychics. They all like you and think you are so cool with your makeup and fashion. Heck, teru asked for some advice too.

Mob gets you both matching keychains..guaranteed. Like those cute sanrio ones or the cute little characters. He finds them absolutely adorable. The idea that his s/o has the other half, he ends up staring at his keychain on end till his club snaps him outta it.

In school you might as well be a prodigy! He finds the fact that you do so well extremely admirable. He wants to be tutored by you and you only. Only you can be patient with him. He thinks of you as top of his class, grade, school even!( next to ritsu ) He just gets so happy seeing you not having to worry about grades and what not.

There are times when you are doing makeup, he just watches. No conversation, nothing. Soly because he thinks its skillful, he feels as tho its art and that she shouldn’t interfere. But there are times he asks questions about the products your using. Hes just curious about all that stuff.

Hes your #1 supporter! He believes that you should and will do what YOU want. That no one should tell you anything about how to look, act, or present yourself!

Hope you liked it!!! Thanks so much for the request!!!

[nayatarot777]

What Do You Love About Your Lover?

This reading applies to past, present or future lovers. Committed or casual.

• Pile One •

Before I get into the reading, you guys may be a little toxic, Pile One 😂.

Something that you love about this person is how they have different masks that they wear with others. There’s something about you enjoying the way that they pretend to not have feelings for you or the way that they simply don’t show how they truly feel. I’m seeing that you can see through the mask but this intrigues you even more. This is giving “I like complicated people” ngl. There’s a way that this person tries to gaslight you out of seeing who they truly are and how they truly feel for you, but you get a kick out of this because you can tell that they’re lying. It’s like you perceive this as somewhat of a positive thing because (to you), this person hiding their feelings is proof that they truly do like you. Or that their feelings must be deep despite them not being a deep person, so it’s more authentic and easy to believe that they actually do genuinely like you. You also love how they’re very self-indulgent. How they focus on themselves and how they appreciate themselves. This person has a high sense of self-worth that attracts you to them and they might be the type to actually try to work on the parts of themselves that are damaged and in need of repair. The following is what makes me think that you guys are my toxic pile: you enjoy how they run away from intimacy. How you have to chase them and try to “tame” them in a way. Their fear of intimacy triggers a “I can fix you” switch in your mind, and you actually love this. Not something that I’d advise to feed into but 🤷🏾‍♀️. That’s what I’m seeing lmao.

Extended Reading: What Does Your Lover Love About You?

YouTube

Personal Readings

• Pile Two •

You don’t seem to have a very serious or committed connection to this lover, but you love how the passion is there all the same. You love how they reciprocate your feelings and your energy. How you like each other equally and things are quite intense and open between the both of you. You love how this person is someone who you can just have fun with. Someone who you can just enjoy your time with - with good sex, good food, good conversation. You love how you’re getting to know this person a lot more. You find them interesting and find yourself awaiting their reply to your messages or missed calls. I feel like this is someone who you actually wait around to hear back from, which may not be your usual temperament with the people who you date. You love how the conversations that you have with this person are rich and go deep. I’m seeing that this person is a chaser. You’ve picked up on their fear of abandonment and linked this to why they’re so open to investing time and energy into you, trying to keep you as happy as possible. And although this type of energy may put you off when it comes to others, there’s something about this person that makes that type of behaviour endearing. You love how they’re so invested into you and how they’re willing to chase after you in a way, which makes you feel appreciated. It feels like this makes you more open to putting energy into reciprocating the energy.

Extended Reading: What Does Your Lover Love About You?

YouTube

Personal Readings

• Pile Three •

You love that your lover is a source of stability for you. They’re just a stable person in general. Someone who offers a lot of security and permanence to the relationship as well as their own life - and, in turn, yours too. This is someone who’s very serious about planting seeds to something that can grow to endure the test of time. They’re not about fleeting desires or quick thrills. However, despite this stable energy, you appreciate how they’re not rigid. They’re actually quite flexible with their routines and their plans in life if it means that it’ll benefit the both of you in the long run. You also love how you can see that they’re healing from heartbreak from their past. They don’t sit and stew in their pain for long. They want to move on from heartbreak and pain that they’ve experienced in their past and mend themselves back together. For some of you, this person is finding freedom from a toxic relationship. For others of you, they’re freeing themselves from addiction and putting themselves back on track to a stable life. You love to see this. You also love how, despite their heavy past, they’re so lighthearted. Their energy is bright and very healing - not just towards themselves but you too. You love to see the way that they recognise the things that they need to heal within themselves. How they’re open to traumas or triggers in their subconscious mind coming to the light of their consciousness. You love how they’re willing to adapt their behaviour and their mindset towards life and the relationship when necessary, for the sake of healing and moving forward into more stability and security.

Extended Reading: What Does Your Lover Love About You?

YouTube

Personal Readings

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Ever since October 7th, the amount of misinformation and disinformation about Jews, Israel, Judaism, and even just like, basic facts about reality have been so intense that it's really dredging up a lot of my gaslighting trauma.

(No, not in the memic sense that it's been distorted into, but the kind of gaslighting that leads you to detransition and think it was your choice despite drowning in dysphoria, the kind that warps and changes and erases memories, and makes it so that you dissociate for literal months at a time to escape the pain. That kind.)

And I recognized this because I keep finding myself arguing facts and trying to reason with people who say that they're part of the compassionate left and care about working on antisemitism but yet spew the kind of antisemitism that would be totally at home on Stormfront.

It's that first arguing stage of gaslighting, where the abuser keeps saying outrageous, untrue things and you're still fighting to try and get them to empathize with you and seek mutual understanding. This:

A gaslighter does not simply need to be right. He or she also needs for you to believe that they are right. In stage 1, you know that they are being ridiculous, but you argue anyways. You argue for hours, without resolution. You argue over things that shouldn’t be up for debate — your feelings, your opinions, your experience of the world. You argue because you need to be right, you need to be understood, or you need to get their approval. In stage 1, you still believe yourself, but you also unwittingly put that belief up for debate.

(bolding mine) (source)

This is a pattern I recognize in myself in personal relationships and even within communities, but what's happening right now is a lot bigger and more diffuse. It's not one abuser or even a shitty cohort of abusive people who are monopolizing a community space. This is being encouraged in a frighteningly large number of non-Jewish progressive spaces. In the same way that stochastic terrorism adds up very quickly, this type of cultural gaslighting and stochastic emotional abuse feels like a deluge.

But if you look at history, this is not new, for Jews. This is but the latest version of a very long game of Why Won't You Just Give Up and Assimilate or Die that Jews have thus far prevailed on at great cost to ourselves.

Anyway I'm done arguing with goyim about things that absolutely should not be up for debate: Jewish history, Jewish culture, what certain religious concepts in Judaism mean, Jewish lived experiences, what is and isn't antisemitism. If you aren't willing to engage in a genuine way that seeks mutual understanding, I'm not interested. I'm done.

You are engaging in violent behavior and lying to yourself about it and calling it activism. Well I am no longer going to participate. You can lie to yourself all you want, but you are a bad person and I don't forgive you, and you can do that alone.

You are acting from a mob mentality and a mob cannot be reasoned with. You are drunk on your tiny bit of power and social capital, and years down the line you'll lie to yourself and pretend that you cared about us.

You didn't. And deep down you know it, too.

Instead of arguing with people who refuse to see facts or reason and put our experiences up for debate, I am going to work on compiling a resource for people who want to actually learn.

Everyone else can fuck off.

[anton-luvr]

# WHEN YOU REFUSE TO SIT IN FRONT ; 7riize.

𖦹 bf!riize x fem!reader | fluff | prank (?) au 𖦹 note ; in case yall dont know about this prank, its basically just people telling their partners that they're not gonna sit in the front seat and capturing their reactions!! i found it quite funny, so hence the birth of this fic... enjoy! hehe + reqs are open !

# SHOTARO. - he's concerned. why don't you want to sit in front?? do you not trust his driving skills??? do you not want to be his passenger princess anymore???? feels like his whole world crashes down and tries to understand why you're so insistent that you want to sit in the back. the moment he realizes it's just a prank to see his reaction, he's instantly relieved. there's nothing else he loves more in this world than having you as his passenger princess.

# EUNSEOK. - he's confused. he wouldn't get why you didn't want to sit in front, and he'd honestly just let you be. but he knows you love sitting in front and controlling the music while he cruised down highways too much to give it up. talks to you to make sure you're okay, and will just start driving if you continue saying you'll sit in the back. he won't be surprised when you confess that it's just a prank and starts clambering back to the front ten minutes into the drive.

# SUNGCHAN. - he's amused. the moment you dramatically announced you weren't going to sit in the front seat today, he knew something was up. he finds it funny and kinda cute at what goes through your brain in hopes of 'pranking' him, or to get his attention. plays along and convinces you to sit in front, using the excuse that he 'needs someone to accompany him' on the 'long and weary drive' - you were going to a taco bell that was only fifteen minutes away. rolls his eyes jokingly when you tell him it's a prank.

# WONBIN. - he's chill. don't wanna sit in front? okay, whatever. don't get him wrong, it's not that he doesn't care. but wonbin is just genuinely a chill person, so he'll let you do whatever you want to do. even if you wanted to sit on the roof, wonbin would let you do so. he respects your gaslight gatekeep girlboss decisions, even when he doesn't get them. even after you told him it's a prank, he'll reassure you that he doesn't mind, and that you can sit wherever you want at any time.

# SEUNGHAN. - he's worried. it's rare that you don't want to sit in front. so for you to suddenly sit in the back, seunghan will start questioning his entire existence. he'll wrack his mind trying to remember if he did anything wrong or offended you in any way recently. in the end, he resorts to just talking to you about it and asking you to sit in the front seat. he's too used to driving with a hand on your thigh while you sang your heart out to songs that it felt weird to not have you by his side. lets out a huge sigh of relief when you tell him it's just a prank.

# SOHEE. - he's upset. how could you not want to sit in front?? do you not love him anymore???? i think sohee would go two ways in this situation - it's either he feels terrible and guilty and starts crying (even tho he did nothing wrong) or he'll act all emo and silent and let you be. if it was the latter, he'd simply start driving, the entire car in complete silence. he's a bit immature in that way, because he knows he should talk it out, but give the man his five minutes of pettiness. he'll talk it out with you later on and feel a bit of an idiot when you tell him it's all a prank. makes you make it up to him with cuddles and kisses.

# ANTON. - he's stubborn. oh, you don't wanna sit in front beside him? don't worry, anton will sit in the back with you. the car's not going to move because no one's driving it? anton doesn't care. he just wants to be beside you and as close to you as he can at any moment; he's attached to you like a magnet with metal. takes you a while to convince him it's all just a prank, and he finally agrees to drive the car when you move to sit in front.

© anton-luvr, 2023.

[shalomniscient]

sev, i have so many ideas as you know but consider a shalom and kafka threesome 😌

they're both teasing you so much. tying you up, making you beg for them to touch you, beg to cum, then beg for them to stop because it's too much :((

lots of praise/degradation mixed. lipstick marks and nail indentations all over you once they're done.

aris i think this is the most gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing 3some duo i’ve ever seen. i’m so into it— [more nsft utc—]

it’s literally going to be just. edging the whole way through. between the two of them i think shalom is the one doing the edging, her touch feather-light and voice soft and crooning as she toys with your slick cunt and stiff nipples, using her thumb to tap on your puffy clit before dragging it down your folds and teasing at your wetness. the whole while you strain and squirm against kafka’s ropes as she watches from a nearby armchair, lazily resting her chin on her palm, an amused smirk on her lips.

shalom would strip her skirt and panties and then climb over you to sit on your face. she coos at you and says she’ll maybe let you cum if you make her feel good, and you really need to cum, don’t you? and oh, how shalom loves the way you devour her like a woman starved, the messy sounds of your lips on her pussy ringing in the room. she also adores the way your hips jump and you moan right into her cunt when she leans back and slips two slender fingers into yours, pumping slowly but masterfully, her fingertips brushing your g-spot with each curl. when you finally make her cum into your mouth you’re nearly delirious from every orgasm shalom dangled in front of you that you can barely process the way her thighs squeeze your head and her hips jerk as she rides your face, bumping her clit on your nose until her high mellows out. you nearly sob when she withdraws her fingers, pruny from how long she’s kept them in your aching cunt—but then kafka is helping shalom off your face, and you’re going to have something completely different to cry about once she gets started with you.

because kafka doesn’t hold back at all. as soon as she settles between your trembling legs she’s hilting her pretty maroon strap all the way inside you in one go. it makes you scream, back arching off the bed as you cum from it alone. kafka snickers as she starts to fuck you through your orgasm and even afterwards, forcing you through another and another and another. you’re kicking out and writhing on the bed, entire body feeling like a live wire as kafka makes you cum and squirt on her strap over and over again. her thumb works your clit harshly until you’re truly, genuinely crying from overstimulation, fat tears running down your pretty cheeks.

shalom will step back in then, gently wiping the tears from your eyes and checking in to see if you’re okay to keep going. and despite what you say, you don’t say the safeword (stellaron), and so she smiles gently and kisses your forehead, then turns to kafka, a wicked gleam in her eye and says “go harder.”

kafka, of course, is all too happy to oblige. she loosens the strings on your ankles so she can hoist your hips up and fold you into a mating press, forcing her cock deeper into you. you’re so fucked out at this point you can’t even scream, just having your mouth hang open while your eyes roll all the way back into your head, leaving only the whites visible. only slurred babbles leave your lips about how it’s too much and can’t cum anymore… but kafka isn’t about to let that stop her.

no, she’ll make you listen and make you cum as many fucking times as she wants.

[hollowblxxd]

Its been one hell of a long time since ive rambled about something so heres my rambles on mouthwashing and how i think everyone kinda seeing some stuff wrong.

This is mostly a focus on the situation between Anya and Jimmy unfortunately, and also my opinion on Curly and the innocence he has and the weight he carries. I understand the game doesn't go in depth on what happened between Anya and Jimmy but I think the subtle-ness of the games speaks more volumes than any dialogue. Basically in my head, given how Anya acts around Jimmy, I think the truth behind what happens its more long-term. That they were "together" in obviously a very abusive way. Jimmy constantly gaslighting, belittling then lovebombing, etc. etc. manipulating Anya into believing she had to be with him. I think the "one worse monster that doesnt define us" is the one moment in the relationship where Jimmy "took it too far" (the SA and possibly threat with a gun). I remember seeing another post of Curly being a metaphor for the future baby they would have together and seeing how Anya acts literally seems like a timid broken wife of an abuser. She too scared and guilty to work on the child she hates looking at and Jimmy is "forced" to do it, continuing to berate her for "not doing her job" (aka being a nurse OR being a mother.) I feel like that alone tells you how their relationship is. Anya isn't just a one-time victim but a LONG TERM VICTIM of the constant mental, emotional AND physical abuse at the hands of Jim. It doesn't wipe clean the one thing he did because they were "dating", Im not at all using this as a justification for anything at all but I suppose Im putting it in prespective. Because it leads into my next part with Curly. Everyone doesnt know what to think of Curly, good bad, whatever. I remember I was also mad to when I first found out about what Jimmy did and I was in fact mad at Curly for not doing more. But then I genuinely thought about it. Imagine you are literally hearing this for the first time, imagine you didnt even know Anya and Jimmy were "in a relationship", imagine if you did know they were a thing but didnt know what was going on behind closed doors, imagine if this was a one time event and the person you thought you knew was actually just a bad person. Imagine. Having not even a DAY, A DAY TO PROCESS THAT. Imagine if you had your own mental disorders that making it hard to process heavy emotions and now your stuck with this and you dont know what to do Imagine. Thats what Curly had to go thru. I understand why people are mad that Curly didnt do more, but in the end I want to personally believe that it such a complicated situation. That Anya and Jimmy seemed like they were on good terms, that maybe they were okay but they werent because behind closed door or when they were alone, Jimmy was eating Anya alive like some predatory parasite. Its a lot to process and Curly didnt have time to process it. He didn't have time to process that his friend was a monster, that his crew was unsafe, that HE had bad judgement, that maybe HE TOO was a BAD PERSON for NOT SEEING IT SOONER. Sometimes bad things happen and you dont know and you had to hold that guilty forever. Curly isn't a bad person, hes jsut a PERSON, a person going thru and being the sole person responsible for a LOT of literal possible blood on his hands. Hes trying so fucking hard to tread this all lightly to protect everyone. I don't think at all that Curly was trying to protect Jimmy. I think he was trying to protect his crew. Hes trying to be a good captain and sometimes that doesnt mean just fucking putting an axe thru Jimmy's head. Anya doesnt need to see that, Daisuke doesn't need to see that, Im sure Swansea would have volunteered but Curly wouldnt want to turn Swansea into a fucking MURDERER after all the years he spent being an honest man. Anya is already guilty and broken, Daisuke is innocent and young, Swansea is trying so hard to be on the good side of life. Curly is delicately balancing EVERYTHING. ITS ALL ON HIM HE TOOK THIS RESPONSIBILITY AND IT HURTS.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

So I’ve been working on a group project at school with this group of three girls. (They’re like already an established friend group, I just joined because my friends wanted to do I project about video games and honestly I’m a video game hater) Now that’s all fine and whatever- I have a lotta friends who are girls so I figured there was nothing too different here. But istg these girls keep telling me stuff that “girls do/like” that I have never heard of?? I’d wonder if they’re fucking with me, except that they’re so earnest about it that it doesn’t seem like a joke 😭

For example, they told me a bit ago that “You boys don’t understand how much scent matters when it comes to girls liking you.” And at first that made sense- I mean yeah duh hygiene is important. Showering is important too. Fine. But when I said that, they all shook their heads.

“No,” one of them clarified matter-of-factly, “we mean like base scents. Your natural scent.”

So I was confused, obviously, because I have never heard of this??

Apparently what they meant was that everyone’s got a distinct scent, and that -allegedly- girls can tell what it is. I was still confused. Like ik about natural body scent and whatever but I didn’t think it smelled like anything in particular except for like…sweat, yk? But no, apparently it’s very complex and well-known and “You don’t get it because you’re a man. See look, Lyn smells like mango and fruit. This is an example of a ‘heavier’ scent. People with heavier scents tend to be attracted to people with heavier scents too. Smell her wrist.”

It smelled like wrist. I am so confused.

“Now Casper, you smell like cinnamon and warm spices. That’s pretty good. You should use spicy and woodsy-smelling colognes so that it combines well.”

I smelled my wrist- it smelled like wrist, not cinnamon. And “combines well” ?? Huh?? Genuinely, is this like a thing people actually notice that I just…haven’t heard of?? I really doubt they’re bullshitting it because they went really in depth and seem to really believe it- are they just living in a parallel universe where that’s common knowledge??

I mean this is just one of many similar instances. Some others include “Girls like guys who have long hair and think all guys with short hair are ugly. Not you tho Casper because you have wavy short hair and that’s different!” and “Girls don’t feel pain as strongly as guys do, which is the biological tradeoff for not building muscle as fast” and “Men know they have problems but don’t fix them. Women usually don’t know when they have problems, but when they do, they try to fix them.” To most of these I’ve said some variation of “What?” or “huh?” or “I’m pretty sure that’s just y’all specifically,” but they usually say it’s true and like. Well-known?! Idk I think they’re gaslighting me and/or maybe themselves?? Or am I just really unaware or something??