#it's funny i'm making these cause i'm ace
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kuravix · 2 years ago
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Fanservice for all!
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embarasseddragon234 · 1 month ago
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*shaking the narrative*
hey hey heyheyheyheyhey
Hey.
HEY!
My insane theory about Luffy I had at like- the beginning of One Piece isn't TRUE, RIGHT??
we've SEEN his family now!
There is NO WAY he's some sort of Gold Roger clone!
I tossed that crazy theory aside AGES AGO! Before we even met Gaarp! Because there was no evidence cloning existed! I was only half serious about it to begin with!!
*Shakes the narrative harder*
YOU CAN'T JUST INTRODUCE CLONING THIS LATE AND EXPECT ME TO BE NORMAL ABOUT IT!
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violenteconomics · 4 months ago
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as a prank, ace and epel start referring to their upperclassmen as members of their family rather than by name — when they're not actually talking to their upperclassmen, of course — just to see how long it will take them to notice. and after a while, the other freshmen start doing it, too.
ace is the first one to come up with this idea. he think it's a harmless little thing, a prank that'll cause plenty of mayhem but won't get him in any serious trouble. so he starts referring to cater and trey as his dad and mom respectively, and riddle as his uptight, no-nonsense older brother.
("one time i saw my brother try to put one of mom's tart into like a ziplock bag to save it for later, and when he took it out like two days afterwards, it fell apart immediately and he started bawling, ha ha! my dad got the whole thing on camera and shared it with me — i can show you if you want.")
he ropes epel in on the plan. epel is a little more hesitant, but seeing this as a way to get back at vil, even in a small way, he agrees to it. vil is now "ma" and rook is now "pa". people do start to wonder why he still uses he/him pronouns to refer to his supposed mother, but they decide not to question it too much.
("a few months ago, my pa told me a story about how one time my ma was trying to comb his hair, only for his comb to get stuck. so he got another comb to get the first one out, and that ended up getting stuck, too. five combs later, and peepaw had to rush him to the barber for an emergency haircut. it was pretty funny, but now i'm left wondering how pa even knew that story... hold on, i need to check my bathroom mirror for cameras, excuse me.")
surprisingly, deuce catches on pretty quickly, and he starts thinking maybe it's a new dorm policy. he doesn't know why, or why nobody else seems to be doing it, but ace seems pretty sure of himself, so he starts doing it, too, if a bit awkwardly.
("my brother always gets on my case for my bad grades. it's a little frustrating, but he only does it because he cares. my dad tutors me whenever he can, but he's not very good at studying, either. but whenever i do get good grades on my report card, my mom makes me egg tarts!")
yuu starts after they ask ace about it, and thinking it's a good prank, they decide to join in on a little mischief. so they start referring to all the teachers as their "dad". it makes people really confused, because they assume they only have one dad, two at most, but "dad" seems to change personalities every single time they talk about him.
("i was helping my dad do paperwork the other day, except we didn't get anything done and spent the entire evening playing solitaire and making dog puns."
"i was filling my dad's basketballs for him for his next game, whilst simultaneously helping him rework his pick-up lines that he's going to use on rsa's 'hot librarian' — his words, not mine. it was... a weird experience."
"i was feeding my dad's cat a couple of days ago, but i guess i fed him too much, because he's just a ball with limbs now. it's fine, though — it's not like my dad actually goes anywhere. too old for that, y'know?")
ortho is up next. idia's already ortho's brother, so he can't really do anything with that, but he really wants in on the average teenage experience of pranking your peers. so he starts referring to literally every upperclassmen he knows as his "brother". this is when everyone starts to realize that something's wrong, because some of things ortho says can not apply to idia in any reality.
("my brother is so talented! he's so good at talking to people, and making them sign contracts with him, and convincing them to invest in his restaurant... gosh, i wish i could be as good at communicating as him!")
jack is, unsurprisingly, very unamused when he figures out what the others are doing, but he doesn't try to stop them. but after a few weeks of exposure, and jack starts unconsciously doing it, too, which the others don't point out to him because they think it's absolutely hilarious.
("my brother didn't show up to morning practice, again, so my other brother and i went lookin' for him, and we ended up findin' him in a tree. obviously, my brother and i can't climb as well as my eldest bro can, so my brother just... threw a spelldrive disk at him. to get him out of the tree. and then we had to rush him to the infirmary because now he had a concussion. i don't... i don't know why he thought that would work.")
sebek is the last hold-over. not only is he unamused by this prank — and frankly very aghast when he realizes that jack has also been infected by it — but he's also really repressed and will do literally whatever it takes to not sully his image in the eyes of diasomnia. of course, with enough wear and tear, this doesn't last very long.
("ugh. my brother fell asleep on the road AGAIN! i swear, so many people have tripped over him, i'll be surprised if he hasn't broken any ribs yet.")
ace and epel think all of this is extremely funny, so they all keep trucking along with it with nobody noticing for a couple of weeks. it's all fine and dandy until the first-years are out on the town during the weekend, and deuce gets involved in a really bad carriage crash.
at the hospital, deuce starts deliriously asking for his older brother to take him home. but when the receptionist checks his familial records, they're really confused because deuce never even had a brother.
unfortunately, ace knows exactly who deuce is talking about, and awkwardly spends the next 30 minutes trying to get a hold of riddle over the phone.
the awkwardness doesn't end as riddle actually gets to the hospital, and the doctor smiles and says, "you must be mr spade's big brother."
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itsrainingbubbles · 7 months ago
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One piece elementary au where shanks introduces Luffy to his boyfriend buggy and Luffy asks what a boyfriend is so they explain it like "it's someone you really like and you hold hands and hang out a lot and you couldn't imagine life without them"
And immediately after luffy goes "OH! I Have a boyfriend!"
And shanks is like "come again?? You have a boyfriend???!??!"
Luffy just laughs "mhm! There's Zoro, Nami, usopp, Sanji, law, kid, and koby!"
Shanks tell him that they can't possibly be his boyfriends if Luffy hasn't asked them yet and he's laughing out of relief
Luffy just pouts but the next couple days goes around asking everyone to be his boyfriends with varying degrees of success but eventually everyone agrees to be his boyfriends, with the exception of Nami who hit him and said since she's a girl it'd be girlfriend and not boyfriend but she also agrees
Luffy goes running back to shanks after that and tells him that not only does he have 6 boyfriends he also has a girlfriend
And well shanks can't really say anything now cause yeah Luffy did ask and if you ask any of the kids Luffy mentioned if they have a boyfriend they'll all say yes and that it's Luffy
When ace and Sabo find out they're annoyed but only because Luffy got a boyfriend/girlfriend before them
Also this interaction sounds funny to me so I'm writing it here
Luffy running out the house and yelling out to his brothers that he's going to his boyfriends house and ace and Sabo yell back 'which one?'
This would take place when Luffy is in middle school though
Also Valentines day was a nightmare for Dadan when Luffy was still in elementary school, Luffy would insist on handmade Valentine's cards and because he had to make them for different people he needed a bunch of different colors and supplies and not only was that expensive it was really time consuming
Also when Dadan found out he was dating a bunch of different people she yelled at him and said cheating is wrong until Luffy explained that they all knew the other people he was dating so Dadan just accepted it cause what else was she supposed to do?
Dadan also cried when Luffy came home from school on Valentine's Day and he had a bunch of chocolate and flowers and cards
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ghostlyferrettarot · 3 months ago
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★Pick a Picture: 🌻💐What will be your in-laws' first impression of you?💐🌻
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•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3
❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️
✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!
🌼If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!🌼
💐Masterlist💐
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🍀Pile 1: 6 of Swords, 8 of Cups, The Hanged Man.
Hi pile 1! At first, they'll probably have some reservations about you. They might not take you entirely seriously, as your partner isn't the type to spontaneously introduce their partners, which might surprise their family to see you as their new partner. At first, you might seem like someone very different from them, but as they start to talk to you and get to know you better, they'll realize that you actually share more in common than they initially thought. Over time, they'll probably feel a little embarrassed for being so quick to judge you. Your presence and thoughts might cause them to reconsider some of their beliefs and perspectives on life. As you share more experiences together, they'll likely express their gratitude for you showing them a new point of view. Over time, they will probably feel a little embarrassed for having judged you so quickly, they will begin to appreciate your way of being and slowly integrate you into their circle; at the end they are gonna be really grateful for you pile 1!
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⚘️Pile 2: 3 of Cups, Ace of Wands, 6 of Wands.
Hi pile 2! Your in-laws are really wonderful, their energy is so warm and welcoming. I can tell they are very family-oriented and I'm sure they will be very happy to see you. As I receive their messages, I can hear that they will think you are very charming and cute! I think that strong bonds will quickly form between you, which will allow you to share special moments as a family and, over time, they will see you as another daughter. They will be very happy to meet you, and they will be very grateful to see how happy you make their son/daughter. Your partner might feel that their parents love you more than them, and that will surely lead to many funny jokes between you. The family dynamic will be very fun and full of love, which will make every meeting between you memorable and fun. You are definitely very lucky to have such great in-laws! Lucky you pile 2!
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🏵Pile 3: The magician, Queen of Swords, 8 of Wands.
Hi pile 3! I think you may have a more reserved personality, and that is something your in-laws will notice from the beginning. At first, they may not have a very formed opinion of you, but they will try to get closer and respect the relationship you have with their son or daughter. It is natural that there will be a little distance at first, but with time, I am sure that you will feel more comfortable with them, and they will appreciate that you trust their company. The key will be to find those little moments that allow you to connect, whether through a shared activity or simply enjoying a good conversation. They will understand that even though you are not very talkative, that doesn't mean you can't be fun and enjoy good times together. They will think you are a "power couple" is what I heard.
So, even though it may seem a little complicated at first, I'm sure everything will fall into place and you will enjoy a very positive relationship. Over time, they will realize that your personality, although more introverted, brings a unique value to the family dynamic.
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💐🌻🍀Thanks for reading and tell me if it resonated 🍀🌻💐
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twstowo · 2 months ago
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Ik your inbox is closed so you can delete this or whatever but the way you write I feel like would fit good with reader/mc/yuu/you having horrible eyesight so they use glasses and then someone like (as an example) Ace or Floyd being really annoying or making reader mad so they just take off their glasses and saying something like “I don’t even wanna see you right now” before focusing back on whatever they were doing but having to practically shove their face it in cause they’re nearsighted and can’t see for shit… but yeah you can throw this out I just wanted to write it out before I forget
♡︎I had some ideas for this so here it is!
♡︎Also I'm glad to know that you think about my writing that much Anon. <3
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⋆⋅☆Ace
If you think Ace will be annoyed or stopped by this, you’re wrong. First of all, he’d find it hilarious. The fact that he annoyed you so much that you took your glasses off and said, “I don’t even want to see you right now”?“Ok Four eyes!” That’s going to replay in his head for days. But when he realizes you’re actually ignoring him, he doesn’t find it nearly as funny anymore.
At first, he might brush it off, thinking you’re just giving him the silent treatment. But the more you ignore him, the more his irritation grows. He starts hovering around you more, throwing out little comments, trying to bait a reaction. But you don’t budge and stand firm.
If you ever ask him in the future if he was annoyed, he’ll play it cool and make fun of the situation. But deep down, it bothers him that you ignored him.
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⋆⋅☆Floyd
He grabs your glasses and tries them on, only to state the obvious: “You really are blind, Shrimpy!”
Floyd, however, doesn’t find it as funny as Ace does. In fact, he probably gets annoyed that you’re ignoring him. And if you thought Ace was annoying, I assure you Floyd is ten times worse. He won’t tolerate being ignored for long—he’ll literally grab you and spin you around if you ignore him for more than two minutes. He isn’t playing games.
If you continue ignoring him, his patience runs out quickly. He’ll get genuinely pissed, drop you, and storm off. Now, he’s the one ignoring you, and you’ll feel the shift. When Floyd’s mad, the whole atmosphere changes, like the air around him gets heavier.
Soon enough, Jade will come over, with that unsettlingly polite smile of his, and ask in the most intimidatingly polite way, “What exactly did you do to my brother? He’s been in quite a foul mood for days now.” You can feel the tension beneath his calm demeanor, as if he’s trying to piece together why Floyd’s usual chaotic energy has disappeared. And with Jade, you know that conversation isn’t just casual curiosity, it’s a warning.
Time to give Floyd attention you guess.
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obsessedwrhys · 3 months ago
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ Wolverine x Deadpool x F!Reader
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ᯓ★ Being in a polyamory relationship with these two. (A dream inspired this AHAHHA–) fluff, lots of bickering between the two, funny/goofy shit, bit of jealousy/possessiveness, reader is fem!!
This whole relationship is a mess.
I'm talking never getting a moment of peace kind of mess.
For example this one time you drove the Honda Civic.
Nobody understood why you were the one behind the wheels 'cause now you're ramming into everything with Logan grabbing on the handle for dear life while Wade is having the time of his life at the back.
"Stop the damn car before we crash, bub! Yer gonna kill someone!" Logan shouted and at the same time Wade was screaming out the lyrics to "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.
Did I mention how different these two are with you?
Wade loves it when you run to hug him, he would swing you around a couple of times with your legs wrapped around his waist.
As for Logan, he prefers something less than that. A simple hug is enough and you can't complain much about it because the way he completely engulfs you in his embrace always made your chest flutter.
It's no surprise that they are protective over you.
Like when you were captured by some troops in the void. The fire guy, Johnny Storm, couldn't help but try to flirt with you. He figured why not shoot his shot right?
"Hey..." He'd say, flashing you a cheesy smile.
And seeing his attempt to charm you, you couldn't help but find it amusing and chuckle.
Clearly the two didn't like it.
Which is why that may or may not be the reason why Wade decided to out the man and get him killed 🤷‍♀️ I guess we'll never know 🤔
You and Wade enjoy pulling pranks on Logan.
The sight of him being pissed off pleases you both.
There was this one time you guys swapped his whiskey to a non-alcoholic drink and you can imagine his frustration.
"WADE!!" But he can never get mad at you. He just can't.
Even Wade complains about this privilege of yours.
"Seriously Lo?! You're gonna get mad at me and not our lovely prank partner here? Come on man, we're both guilty parties in this crime scene. If you wanna get angry, at least share the spotlight :("
Cue you sticking your tongue out at Wade as he pouts with puppy dog eyes.
All jokes aside, the two love and support you dearly.
I like to think Logan is more of an old romantic and Wade is the adventurous type.
That's why it can sometimes take a while for them to decide what to get as a present for you.
"Why the fuck would she want a pillowcase with our faces on it?" Logan asked with genuine disgust in his eyes.
"Why wouldn't she?! It's cute as fuck, and you can never have too many pictures of us together. Besides, it's a lot cheaper than buying a life-sized statue of me for her bedroom, although that's an option too, I hear Wolverine-shaped body pillows are all the rage these days" Without realising, he continued on muttering nonsense to himself which had Logan roll his eyes.
"I'm buying her the leather jacket and it's final" Not letting Wade say anything, he'd walk off to the cashier with him left behind. His action causing him to get irritated.
"What about the budget?!?!" He'd raise his voice but Logan simply ignored him. Fed up, he stomps on his feet as he points at his back.
"Fine, you big lug!! I'll let you have your way this time. But don't come crying to me when she dumps us for a pair of more decisive superheroes!!" He'd shout.
In the end you appreciated the gifts you got for your birthday. Each gift speaks for their character.
You guys definitely have lazy days.
Days where you'll lounge around in pajamas and watch cheesy romantic comedies together, complete with a pile of blankets and snacks.
Expect there to be lots of laughter, cringing, and the occasional eye rolling. Not to forget how you three would start making fun of the characters and the cliche plotlines.
Logan clearly struggles to sit through the entire movie marathon and you always have the to be the one to pull his arm to prevent him from leaving.
"Gimme a break, bub. It’s the same damn thing every time— the good guy wins, the bad guy loses. It’s like they think we got the emotional range of a rock"
"Gee, what a buzz kill. But are they wrong though? You practically live like a rock!!" Wade laughed with Logan letting out a scowl.
Thank goodness you're dating them or else they'd be fighting almost all the time.
In the relationship you're the peacemaker
No but seriously Wade calls you that and the nickname has stuck to you.
You enjoy sleeping in the middle with the two on either sides. Half of the time you always wake up with the two fighting over you.
Just imagine Logan pulling you closer to him but before he could even do that, Wade would be quick to pull you back to his embrace despite them both being asleep.
You like to think it's their reflexes. That even when sleeping they're still fighting with each other 😭
However you absolutely adore the two.
Logan will MELT when you kiss his knuckles. Especially when you do it with your eyes locked to his. He will literally go feral for you.
And Wade? He absolutely loveloveloves it when you baby him. It's his guilty pleasure. Hold him close with his face placed against your chest and he swears the voices in his head finally quiets down. That's why you're his angel.
Also, the two really enjoy showering you with kisses. You can barely ever hold back a smile with the two smooching every surface of your face.
Will do anything to get your praise.
The competitiveness is too much.
Oh Logan got you a bouquet? Well Wade got you a bouquet made of tacos. Who's the better one now huh? 😋
To be fair Wade is Wade. There's nothing you can do about it... but that doesn't mean Logan is ever gonna let him get his way.
"Where's Wade?" You'd ask, watching Logan sink on the sofa beside you.
"Don't know... could care less..." He'd say, wrapping an arm around you to snuggle with you. In the other room Wade has been stuffed inside the closet. Completely restrained and duck taped.
All I can say is that dating them is all fun and love. Literal baby girls.
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bitchimasnake-sss · 7 months ago
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Sleep nonnie again. Is it okay if I go by 🦊🌲 its easier.
Anyways I think it would be a funny scenario if you suggest to the op boys to keep their hands warm by putting them between your thighs. I know some boys would just get a heart attack if you suggest that and get a cute blush
say whAT NOW?? NONNIE HELLO AND WELCOME BACK!! (dm me so that we can be friends ur fic ideas are so out of pocket i love it); also, gonna add ace cause i see many ace thirsties out there ;)
let me warm you up ft. the monster trio//ace!
luffy:
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💗when he agreed to this, he didn't know just what kind of uncharted territory he was entering. he was simply not prepared. you had given him such a soft smile, taking his hands into yours as gingerly, "luff, are you cold?" he had nodded a mindless yes because you were crossing a terribly cold patch of the sea and his hands were freezing. but then held his hand a bit tighter and whispered, "i can warm them up for you. if you like?" he was too drunk on the idea to see the mischievous glint in your eyes and the way you spurred him on with your honey-like voice.
💗so now, he sat in front of you, eyes blown wide and lips trembling as his hands rested between your plush thighs. you had squeezed your thighs shut around his restless hands, claiming that it'll get him warm in little to no time. but god, this was hard (much like something else) and he was trying his best to keep his fingers still and not do anything hasty, like digging it into your soft flesh and relishing in the way your body molded to his touches. or by trailing his hand a bit upwards and seeing the way you react. 💗"luffy??" you called out and captain shook his head as he crawled out of that daze like state, "y-yeah?" "you okay?" you mumbled, voice far too gentle. you fucking minx. "you seem like you're losing your mind." good catch! because he was. luffy abruptly pulled his hands backwards lest he do something that truly made him lose his sanity. he scrambled off of your bed, heading out the door into the chilly deck in long, skitterish steps. "where ya going?" you called after him but he rushed out, yelling after himself, "JUST GONNA WARM UP WITH USSOP INSTEAD BYE" did ussop have better thighs than you? you may never know.
zoro:
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💚zoro was very stupid, very. he was not the smartest tool in the shed when it came to love or crushes or dating or cooking food or social cues or emotional intelligence or— i should stop before this turns into zoro slander [i promise i love him]. but now, the bounty hunter sat with his face flushed and hands tucked between your soft, malleable thighs. he was smarter than this, truly. he knew that when you suggested that he looked cold and you can warm him up, he was supposed to say "fuck no, get out." because having a crush on you was embarrassing enough on it's own. but you had given him such a gut-wrenching, pleading look. your eyes saddened and your lips fell into a pout and oh god, what was he, if not the man who would let you ruin him? 💚ever since he was a child, zoro had always known that he would die a noble swordman's death. he would die fighting, brave, courageous, unafraid. now, he was sure he'd die from the way you squirmed and pressed your thighs shut. "quit movin'" he grunted, looking away from you as your stared at him. but you tucked your arms against your chest and the soft swell of your tits fell forward towards him so deliciously. he must have lost focus and let his gaze travel against your body cause you coughed, drawing his attention back to your face, "quit starin'." he pulled his hands back, ears going red and heart faltering. he should really stop before he gave into the temptations and pinned you to the mattress to— his voice pitched up, "i-i'm going back to my room, bye." "zoro?!" you called after the swordsman as he ran out, "BUT THIS IS YOUR ROOM, WHERE ARE YOU GOING??" [spoiler: he went to chopper and crushed herbs to make medicine. he wanted to get rid of some of that tension but he failed. because he put the pressure too hard and the china dish in which he was crushing the leafy herbs broke, and now chopper was hitting him square in his head, talking about how important it was to be precise in medicine and how zoro will never make a good doctor. "stop hitting me— OW" "what KIND OF A DOCTOR ARE YOU?" "IM A SWORDSMAN!" "YEAH CAUSE YOU CANNOT BE A DOCTOR!"]
sanji:
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💙breath in, breathe out. breathe in, breathe out. breath in, breath out— "sanji?" you asked, a tinge of worry at his almost fainting figure, "are you okay?!" "my love, darling, sugar pie—" the man caught his tongue between his teeth, trying to stop his head from spinning. the floor seem to sway under him, the lights seemed too bright. was he flying or was it the blood rush?? "what did you just ask me?" you look down at the kitchen floor, mumbling with a bashful smile, "if your hands are cold...i can warm them up." his heart quickened as did his fingers. he chopped the bell pepper so hastily that you were sure you saw sparks flying. "and how would you do that?" "you can keep them between my thighs, if you like?" you looked up, "OH MY GOD SANJI YOUR NOSE—" 💙i hate to cut the story short but sanji 100% fainted and you had to catch him before he fell face-forward into the pot with boiling water on the stove. sorry, he gets no bitches :( but you did look after him on the bedside and let him eventually touch your thighs so... idk, a win is a win!!! ["so, is he like dead?" zoro had asked, uninterested, as you hauled the cook's figure outside the kitchen. you were dragging him to his room as the rest of the crew trailed you. they had heard your shriek and came spilling into the kitchen to see what the fuss was about. "did you give him a hug?" nami asked, amused. "hug's too much." ussop snickered, "she probably smiled at him." sanji whipped his head dangerously to glare at them, "i can hear you. and i will be poisoning your food." he looked back at you, "oh don't you worry, im still fainted." he closed his eyes, letting his forehead fall on your shoulder. you smiled to yourself, making a note to warm him up later]
ace:
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🧡truthfully, how do you ask a man made of literal fire if you can "warm him up"??? you must have not thought you plan through because you had stood in his room a bit tipsy, locked the door behind you and asked a boy [who was always shirtless cause he was so warm] that question. "huh?" ace's eyes widened in pleasant surprise. he stood up to walk towards you, "what is that about? you wanna warm me up?" "NO!" you bit your cheek when you realized the implications of your words, "i was joking, obviously." "awh, i do love when you humor me." he quipped, "it's kinda cute." "shut up." you glared at him but he gave you an earnest smile back, "if you're cold, you could have just told me." he set his finger ablaze, acting suave, "see, i can warm you up." "you wanna set me on fire?" you seethed. "no?!" "why did you light your fingers on fire?!" "YOU ASKED A MAN MADE OF FIRE IF YOU CAN WARM HIM UP? DONT ASK ME QUESTIONS?!" "i'm drunk" you mumbled. after a beat you looked down at the floor, "and... i'm kinda cold." portagas d. ace just smiled, shrugging in mock nonchalance, "we can cuddle, if you like. i've been told i'm a pretty great heater." you laughed, "hah, hotshot." ace gave you a wicked grin, "how drunk are you?" "not nearly enough." just saying, portagas d ace was better than just a "pretty great heater." he was a pretty great fu-
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a/n: i love writing stupid things so much. it makes me so happy because i'm a stupid little girl giggling and typing on her laptop when she should be doing work. tagging the ever lovelies: @bokutosbiceps (resident luffy enjoyer) and @help-i-lost-my-sock (resident ace enjoyer). if you wanna be added to the tag list, please let me know (//tell me your preferences and i'd tag you in those fics)!
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bbyjackie · 1 year ago
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𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐁𝐎'𝐒 𝐆𝐅 — ♡
one piece social media + dating feat: sabo
》 asl brothers completed
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♡ liked by lalalakoala, nicorobin and 5.3k others
_ynln: ur gf or ramen, pick one
tagged: saaaa_bo
saaaa_bo: the answer is obvious
↳ saaaa_bo: ramen 🙏
↳ ace: wrong.
↳ ace: the correct answer is me 🤩🤩
↳ marco_o: said absolutely no one
↳ _ynln: @saaaa_bo surely this is grounds for a break up 🫤
lalalakoala: okay we get it, you have a boyfriend
p1rateking_luffy: YOU GUYS GOT RAMEN WITHOUT ME?????!!!!??! ☹️☹️
↳ _ynln: sorry luf, i'll bring you next time!
↳ saaaa_bo: no wtf we are not bringing luffy, i'm gonna go broke and he's gonna eat our share
↳ ace: im gonna have to agree with sabo
↳ p1rateking_luffy: 🙁
↳ lovenami: nah sabo you're so real for that (liked by saaaa_bo)
↳ marco_o: @ace you are literally the LAST person who can say that
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♡ liked by blackleg.sanji, nefertari_vivi and 6.9k others
_ynln: applications for a new bf linked in my bio.
[music: traitor - Olivia Rodrigo ♫]
tagged: saaaa_bo
blackleg.sanji: I APPLIED ‼️‼️‼️
blackleg.sanji: HOW MANY CAN I SEND IN?!
blackleg.sanji: WILL I BE NOTIFIED IF I MAKE IT IN THE WAITLIST?
↳ theroronoa.zoro: the only notification you're gonna get is one from the police
saaaa_bo: WOWW JUST CAUSE I CHOSE RAMEN OVER YOU 🤨🤨
↳ _ynln: girls gotta do what she's gotta do
↳ _ynln: OMG SABO YOU APPLIED? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH OMG STOP 💗💗
↳ saaaa_bo: wtv loser.
lovenami: omg you should've made them transfer you five dollars to apply
↳ _ynln: nami ur trying to pimp me out huh 😭🫵
lovenami: you're so gorg yn. (liked by saaaa_bo)
↳ _ynln: i miss u sm namiiii 💕
nefertari_vivi: OMG STOP UR SO PRETTY I LOVE UUU
↳ _ynln: 😭💕
ace: why is everyone happy EXCEPT ME (liked by saaaa_bo)
↳ marco_o: give me five minutes and i'll dm u a list of reasons (liked by _ynln, saaa_bo, p1rateking_luffy)
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♡ liked by ace, lalalakoala and 11 others
priv.ynn: blocking him on this acc so he doesn't see this but omg this is so cute, koala caught him trying to buy gifts for me <333
ace: yo wtf why isn't he getting me prada 🤨
ace: ALSO WHAT DID HE BUY DAMN THAT BAG IS HUGE
↳ priv.ynn: IDK I RLLY WANT TO KNOW
lalalakoala: you guys are so cute together it makes me want to die 🥱
lovenami: DAMNN GIRLY UR SO LUCKY (liked by priv.ynn)
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♡ liked by p1rateking_luffy, _ynln and 8.2k others
saaa_bo: public service announcement: my gf is the best. i love her sm. she is so beautiful, i am so lucky to be hers <3
tagged: _ynln
p1rateking_luffy: HEHE my future sister in law is so pretty (liked by ace, p1rateking_luffy)
↳ _ynln: AWWW LUFFY YOU'RE SO SWEET LOVE U 💕💕
_ynln: SABO STOP
_ynln: YOURE MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ALL OVER AGAIN YOU IDIOT 🤓💖
↳ saaaa_bo: does this mean i won the boyfriend application?
↳ _ynln: there was no competition 💪
nicorobin: pretty girl
↳ saaaa_bo: i agree ☝️
↳ _ynln: YOU GUYS STOP IT IUBWVCEI
lalalakoala: think u feel lonely? spend the night third wheeling these guys and see how u feel then 💀💀
↳ _ynln: KOALA WE TRIED SETTING YOU UP W SO MANY PEOPLE YOU'RE JUST PICKY
↳ lalalakoala: 🥱🥱
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♡ liked by saaaa_bo, ace and 8.5k others
_ynln: top scoring appplicant 1️⃣
tagged: saaaa_bo
saaaa_bo: pretty woman
saaaa_bo: hell yeah 💪🔥🔥
ace: yn check ur dms i sent u uggo photos of sabo as a kid
↳ _ynln: LMFAOOO???
↳ saaaa_bo: ACE YOU'RE LITERALLY PRAYING ON MY DOWNFALL
↳ saaaa_bo: ALSO I WAS NEVER AN UGLY KID
↳ ace: sorry couldn't hear that over that tooth gap of urs 🥱
↳ p1rateking_luffy: HAHAHAHA YOU'RE SO FUNNY ACE
↳ saaaa_bo: 😐
↳ _ynln: HAHAHA NOOOO SABO WAS SO CUTE ‼️
↳ ace: everyone she's being held at gunpoint (liked by _ynln)
↳ saaaa_bo: 😐😐
blackleg.sanji: NOOOOOO
blackleg.sanji: gotta respect sabo for treating you well gorgeous queen (liked by saaaa_bo)
lalalakoala: omg im literally gonna have to block u
2K notes · View notes
gendercomsumer · 9 months ago
Note
hiii ^^ I would like some headcanons for riddle, malleus, vil and rook with a fem mc that accidentally ends up making them laugh (because what she says or does is very random xd maybe an example would be like jennifer lawrence sjjs she is very funny ) well that's all, thanks and take care <3
Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook with an S/O who can make them laugh with the most random things
A/N: Hello to you too Anon! I know this has been in my inbox for gods knows how long- But thank you still for sending this in! I hope this is to your liking! I actually did watch some Jennifer Lawrence videos for inspiration and I have to agree the comedic timing she has is perfect!! I also used some google translate in Rooks part so it may not be accurate ^^;
Characters: Riddle, Malleus, Vil, and Rook
Warnings: Cursing to a mild degree, playful mention of stalking in Rooks (I love him I swear!!!), lightly proof read
Fem!Reader
Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle is a bit difficult to get a good genuine laugh out of, at least in my opinion.
Like sure you have a small chuckle when he finds something amusing, but i feel like it'd be a bit of a challenge to get a good genuine laugh out of.
Then you came in, saying the strangest things at the most unrelated times!
And Ace and Deuce find this absolutely hilarious
You'll say the most out of pocket shit with the straightest face and somehow half the people around you start to laugh some others breaking out in giggles
Ace and Deuce have definitely talked about this 'talent' of yours, at least in their words.
You had said some of these strange comments around Riddle and he found them strange a bit endearing as well
I'd think the time you got a good laugh out of him was when you had come with him to take care of some of the hedgehogs
The two of you were sitting in the grass some of the hedgehogs were playing while a few had decided that climbing on the two of you was a good way to pass the time
One had wandered up onto your head and almost fell off but luckily you were able to save the little guy before he fully hit the ground
After Riddle worriedly checked the little guy over you while looking over his shoulder at the small animal said:
"Well at least we know this one has no self preservation"
Unwillingly, or maybe subconsciously, a small laugh makes it's way through Riddles chest to his lips.
Well, now maybe he saw what those two were blabbering on about
Your little comments were always appreciated with Riddle
Even if they didn't cause him to laugh they did brighten his mood at least somewhat
"Yes, this one does tend to be a bit of a handful. Reminds me of a certain rose I know"
He teased before you two fell back into the pattern of caring for the small animals
More chuckles and comments to come no doubt
Malleus Draconia
At first Malleus didn't understand why the rest of Diasomnia found your remarks so comical
Yes his child of man did tend to bring a certain warmth where ever she walked
But he didn't see this as an excuse for the amount of laughter you cause people around you
Most of the remarks you make will fly over his head
I'm sorry but he seems like the kind of guy to not get the joke until you explain it to him-
Now the Thorn Prince does share a few chuckles with those around him when he finds something amusing, similar to Riddle
But it's even more difficult to get a laugh out of him considering he doesn't get a lot of the play on words type of jokes
but something abrupt and slightly out of context?
I feel like that would get some sort of laugh out of him
One day you were talking with Malleus about some of the things you did in your old world
The topic of amusement parks came up and you started listing the rides you used to go on as a child
Roller coasters, bumper cars, lazy rides where you could relax, until you blanked on the name of a ride
It was frustrating considering it was probably something simple and you would remember it after their conversation, but you wanted to keep the ball rolling
Malleus mean while was partly enjoying seeing how frustrated you got over a simple word
You really were a strange thing weren't you Child of man?
"I'm sorry Mal- I know what I'm thinking of! It's on the tip of my tongue- It's like one of those horse tornado things!"
Horse.. tornado..?
Now that got Malleus attention
he understood the other rides you described, favoring the lazy rides
but what ever this horse tornado was... it sounded.. strange, yet curious at the same time
"CAROUSELS!! FUCKING CAROUSELS, THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE CALLED!"
Malleus let out a small puff of air before he started chuckling under his breath
You truly were a strange one weren't you child of man, just like the world you came from
Malleus pressed a kiss to your forehead letting out one more chuckle before speaking
"Truly fascinating, maybe one day you could bring me to one of these 'horse tornados' you have me interested"
Sure jokes your fly over his head, but he would tease you some what for your small skips in memory
Vil Schoenheit
Now Vil, having acted in a lot of movies, (If I'm correct) Would have probably had a few good laughs in that line of work
Weather that be on set or behind the cameras
But he doesn't often let out a good laugh in public, it's not really part of the proper image he'd want to put out there
As for behind closed doors or with close friends he's definitely willing to have a laugh
And who better to bring a smile to his face than his lovely sweet potato?
Though one good moment always stuck out to him that caused him to have one of the most genuine laughs in awhile
The two of you were getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant, courtesy of Vil of course, hair, makeup, shoes things like that
While Vil was sitting at his vanity working on his eyes when you came out of the bathroom in a stunning dress hand picked by Vil
It brought out all your best features while still being enough coverage to where it wasn't uncomfortable to wear into a public area
The two of you made idle conversation as you sat on a near by chair to slip on a matching set of heels for the dress
As you stood up in the heels to work on your own makeup you lost your balance thanks to the new height the heels provided
Although Vil was quick to catch you making sure you came no where near the floor he still was concerned
"Oh sweet potato are you alright? What happened?"
Yes looking back on it the question seemed dumb but he was concerned
but you just let out a giggle while regaining your balance before saying:
"Well I'm not sure what happened, but I remember wanting to yell 'fuck' as my last words before I embarrassed myself"
Vil took a moment while looking at you
then a chuckle escaped his lips which soon turned into the two of you sharing a small laugh
Now Vil doesn't know why he laughs at your antics, in hindsight they're just normal phrases
But maybe it's the delivery?
Or the way you smile at him?
What ever it may be it always causes a smile to grace his lips or a chuckle to be drawn from him
Sure Vil maybe all about preserving beauty and making sure he looks flawless
But if he happens to get a few smile lines because of your antics, he will never hold it against you
"Well my darling, I'm glad to hear you're alright. It would be a shame if you or your lovely dress got roughed up before we left. Now come, you still want to do your makeup don't you? Allow me to help"
Rook Hunt
Now Rook has plenty of laughs in his life
Weather that be from stalking some poor soul or a genuine laugh among friends
Rook out of the four is probably the easiest to get a laugh from
He's a joyful guy wanting to see all nature and the world has to offer! Can you blame him?
Then enters you who some how can't help but leave Rook giggling when ever you do something!
You put your tie on wrong? Oh silly Trickster aren't you just the sweetest thing!
Then comes your words which to Rook is a whole new ball park
Rook tends to hold onto every word meant for him, weather that be written or spoken out loud
His darling Tricksters words are so elegant and so sweet how could he not treasure everyone!
What really gets him chuckling and laughing is the moments when your words aren't as sweet and graceful
Cut to one day when you and Rook were in the fields often used for flying class
Rook had a desire to teach you archery so he happened to drag you along with a quiver and bow to some targets set by his hand
After the first few moments of Rook teaching you how to properly hold and aim the bow and making sure your arm guard was secure (He wouldn't want his darling trickster to get rope burn!) He let you shoot
All was going well as you hit targets in an... acceptable way
But all that seemed to end when a large gust of wind sent your best shot yet off course and into the ground
And just as Rook was about to offer some encouragement to keep going and try once more
some colorful language came from you to say the least
"Wind!? Really!?! Could you not wait two fucking minuets!! Nooooo! You just had to thro my best shot off course you-!"
Now don't get Rook wrong he hold the sweet words you two share close to his heart
But there was just something about you yelling at the wind of all things that caused him to start laughing
As he laid on the grass of the field eyes closed as he laughed
Oh? It seems your colorful language is directed towards him now? Even better!
"Trickster- reine de mon coeur! Please I believe- I believe you have shared plenty enough words with the wind today!"
A/N: This is actually the first time I've taken a good look at the name of Malleus' dorm. Dia = Dragon. Somnia = Sleep
Diasomnia = Dragon of sleep
just a ting i found silly :)
656 notes · View notes
kiame-sama · 7 days ago
Note
I remembered how the HAE!human told ruggie in early chapters that humans can mimic sounds, and I think it'd be funny if the human ended up sometimes messing with the guys using this apparently unknown ability
hae!human having their back to whoever's in the room, doing something, and just randomly making the most sad and pathetic 'mrow' sound to see how the guys will react to a random cat.
said cat seems to be heard every couple days or so, but no one can find it (human does not meow if they know someone in the room has good enough hearing to easily pinpoint where the sound came from since it'd give them away)
yknow what else would be funny and neat? human not even realizing that they mimic the guys' sounds. hissing or growling when annoyed, trilling when happy, Indignant Peacock Sounds when annoyed, etc etc
Now I'm just thinking about messing with them. It would be mean to cause them too much stress with sound mimicry, some are beastly in how territorial they get.
Like, Vil is having a nice walk in the sun, fluffing and preening his feathers? Make a male Peacock call and watch him get all upset and indignant that another Peacock dare enter his territory. He will be strutting and wildly searching for this interloper. It makes him incredibly angry when he can't find the outsider.
Whooping any time Ruggie is tormenting other students and watching him glance around, responding with his own whoops to try and find the other Gnoll.
Purring can be taken different ways depending on who hears it. Trein, Malleus, and Divus take it as an affectionate sound meant for times of extreme comfort. Lilia will think the Human is inviting him to mate because he only purrs prior to mating, so explain yourself quickly. He will be disappointed.
Make a Mourning Dove call near Neige and he will respond with his own mournful call and try to find this new Harpy friend. He will be happy to see it is the Human and be bashful that the Human is using a Mourning Dove call.
Howl and Jack won't be able to stop himself from responding with an equally loud howl. It makes him happy to hear other wolves especially if he knows the Human is the one howling. Do this often, it makes him happy, just not when he is eating.
Make goat yells/baas anywhere near Ace or Deuce and they are likely to try and find the offending party. Ace may think it is Deuce trying to challenge him, and Deuce will think it is Ace trying to challenge him. This will result in both first-years headbutting each other until one gives or teachers/Riddle/Trey breaks up the fight.
Whinny/Neigh/Snort near Trey or Riddle and they will begin whinnying back and trying to find this strange lost horse/centaur.
Snorting around Vargas makes him start kicking his hooves and lowering his horns with loud snorts of his own. He does not realize there isn't another Minotaur bull around and he will try to rally his class into a close herd so he can circle and kick his feet. The class thinks it is hilarious and Vargas still has no idea there isn't a random Minotaur bull hanging around the school and it is just the Human snorting like a bull. Be nice and don't do it often, it is very upsetting to Vargas.
Though it would be tough to replicate- and he is a Reindeer Cervitaur, not an Elk Cervitaur- Silver will lose his absolute mind if you can make an Elk bugle sound. We're talking rearing, stamping his hooves, snorting, tail up and trotting with purpose as he searches for the source and rattles his antlers against things. He gets very upset with other male Cervitaur not in his Herd (the Hoard) anywhere near those he loves. Lilia treats it like some kind of dramatic dance or show every time Silver gets worked up like this. Don't do this often, for Silver's sake, it genuinely upsets him and makes him stressed.
Caw at Crowley and you two will be making that sound back and forth for hours. He is loud and obnoxious about his cawing and most will want to yell at both him and the Human to stop. He is so happy you are trying to learn his language, little chick!
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alexa-fika · 8 months ago
Note
Just imagining cat child being a zoan cat type she loves napping in the sun(or cuddling against ace or marco) she would rather die than admit that she loves head pats.
When the crew gets to rowdy she just goes to nap next to pops.
Whenever they run into trouble on islands Ace is grinning before letting yn go and attack, because she's so tiny. She just bites the ankles
I think she'd get the nickname "ankle bitter"
Apawling Cattitude (Whitebeard pirates x f!Cat!child Reader)
A/N See what I did there 🐈 im so funny and goofy, anyhow I COOKED HERE, just pure cooked down below, especially on that ankle biter part 😎
Here Reader is replaced by Dokucha as place holder which stands for reader in japanese
Dividers by @/saradika
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“Brother Marco, are you done yet?” the young child groans, lounging in one of his examining tables
“Not yet; there are still a few things I need to finish up,” Marco responds without even turning his head around
“I’m cold,” she whines
“There’s a storm outside, so I can’t warm up in the sun, and Ace fell asleep while eating again; you're the only source of heat around.”
He sighs, turning around on his chair and picking up the child from the table, putting them on his lap, and turning back around to his paper
“There, now will you let me finish these papers?”
She smiles, cuddling up to him and closing her eyes, basking in warmth
“You’re so warm, Brother Marco.”
“Yes, yes, I know, but you aren’t making my job easier.” He says as he works on finishing his papers, his actions betraying his words as he begins petting her head, scratching behind her ears
She hums, letting a loud purring sound at the sensation, leaning closer to him
He lets out a snicker at the sound
“Why are you laughing?” She mumbles
“Nothing.” He mumbles before continuing to scratch behind her ears
“I just remembered a conversation in which you said you did not fold at being petted,” he said with a chuckle
“Ten minutes ago, to be specific, if I am not mistaken.”
She jumps up at that, a frown on her young face
“I’ll have you know you are mistaken! I do not fold at something such as pets; I am not some stray cat!”
He raises his eyebrow
“Then, could you explain the purring I heard just a moment ago?”
“Yeah, you need to get your hearing checked.”
“Did you forget about my devil fruit?”
“Must be malfunctioning 'cause there is something wrong with em.”
“You’re such a brat; just admit you enjoy being petted.”
“Hmph,” she scoffed, jumping off his lap
“I'm going to go see if Brother Ace woke up; maybe his ears will be working better than yours, Brother Marco.”
He smiles, watching the child go, leaning his head on his hand
“Do come back if you want more,” he calls out
“Shut up!”
He snickers under his breath but says nothing else as she storms off
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Tiny footsteps could be heard hitting against the boards of the Moby dick as Dokucha hurriedly made it to the mess hall, looking for her freckled brother, spotting the rambunctious man over in one of the tables
“Brother Ace, you’re up!” She hollered
Ace, sitting down in one of the tables with the rest of the brothers, quickly wolfs down his food at the sound of the voice
“What’s up?” He asks as he sees his sister approaching, raising an eyebrow
She stretches her hands towards him, opening and closing her hands
He chuckles at the motion before grabbing her and picking her up, placing her on his lap
“What is it, kitty cat?” He teases
“Nothing,” she smiles, cuddling up to him and his heightened warmth
“Sure.” He chuckles, rubbing her ears gently as they are on his hands
“Then why the sudden rush to see me?”
“Brother Marco was being mean, and I was cold,” she mumbles
He chuckles at the small girls voice
“Oh was he? You mean your kitty purr didn’t work on him?”
“I don’t purr!” She said once again, jumping up, glaring at him
“Hah, really?!” he gasps in fake surprise
“Could have sworn I heard it, din’t you, Thatch?” he asked with a grin, looking at his brother, who was putting some plates down on the table
Thatch chuckles, shaking his head with a grin
“I did hear a small purr, yes.”
She pouts about to tell them off when one of the tables when up in an uproar; by the look of it, one of her brothers had started a drinking competition once again
She sighed, jumping off Ace’s lap and continuing on her way to find a place to nap in peace
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Whitebeard hums as he hears soft knocking at the door of his chambers
“Come in.”
“Papaw!” She whines, climbing her way into his bed
He chuckles as she climbs all over his bed
“Gurararara” he laughs scratching her head.
“What is it? Is there something you need?”
“Mess hall is too noisy; I wanna nap,” she said, cuddling into his chest with a smile, sighing in relief
“There,There .” He said strokinb her hair as she cuddles into his chest, his own soft smile growing as he looks down at his little one
“Sleep here for now, brats know to keep it down around here”
“Thank you, Papaw”
“Make sure to sleep well.”
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Dokucha now sat on top of ace’s shoulders, leaning her face and hands on top of his head as they walked
“What are we looking for again?”
“Izou left ahead of us to intercept the guys we were after; we are his backup,” he answered as he briskly walked through the grassy field
“I see him. Okay, ankle biter, you’re up,” he said, grabbing the girl from his shoulders and putting her on the ground, kneeling down on the ground next to her
“See the guy with the red shirt? He’s a long-distance sniper; I need you to take him out while I go help Izou with the melee fighters.”
She grins, her two incisors poking out of her mouth as she did
“Bite?” she said, looking at her brother, waiting for permission
“Yes, you can bite; go get ’em.”
She grins, shifting into her cat form and running closer to the guy; once close enough, she began prowling, silently approaching the guy until she was right next to them, at which point she pounced on them, making quick work of them, removing their going and easily gaining a surrender
She shifted into her human form, grinning as she kneeled on the now fainted man, chuckling as she watched her brothers make quick work of the rest of the enemies
“Impressive.” Izou praised her, approaching the girl, Ace following behind him, looking down at the man she had incapacitated.
“You’re getting better at that,” he grins, rubbing her head
She gives him a toothy grin in response, purring at the affection
As a reward for her hard work, Izou decided not to comment on the very obvious purring coming out from her as he continued rubbing her head , her ears tilting and twitching as she enjoyed her hard-earned pampering
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That scene where Dokucha was kneeling on top of the guy, I was thinking of that one scene where young shanks was doing the same, eating chocolate (?)
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Shanks really be stealing hearts since back then, I ‘ll take 1000 chapters on Roger pirates, Thank you < 3
Taglist:
@imaginarydreams
@amethystviolin
@h0n3y-l3m0n05
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mera-mera-simp · 1 year ago
Text
OP Character's Love Languages
Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Ussop, Ace and Law
Content Warning: fluff. Some angst (Sanji, Ace and Law)
Pt. 2
Luffy:
Absolutely physical touch. There is no debate on this.
He can and will cling to you with no hesitation. Man doesn't know personal space<3
But you and most of the Strawhats don't mind it. It's sweet.
Though you do have to gently remind him sometimes that not everybody he knows likes it when he does that</3
Definitely a words of affirmation kinda guy too.
This one isn't as often but he loves making you smile.
Constantly telling you how funny you are and how much he loves you. He is a sweet baby even if he's a menace sometimes<3
Sometimes, you'll get a combo of the two. He'll wrap his arms around a multitude of times and tell you all kinds of sweet things just to see you smile.
Gift. Giving.
Please give this sweet baby gifts it will make his eyes light up like stars and he'll treasure it forever.
You could get him the silliest thing and he'll be so happy. You'll have his stretchy arms wrapped around you and multiple kisses on your face while he's yelling 'thank you' multiple times within an instant.
Zoro:
Quality time.
He's not much of a touchy guy and he's not the greatest with words.
But he actively seeks you out on the Sunny. He just wants to be by you<3
He's not great at words, so just being by you is enough for him
He will make you take naps with him<3
He likes to sit by you when he's cleaning his swords.
Please just chill with him while he trains. He likes being in your presence.
This goes both ways low-key. He knows that you love him so he doesn't need to be reminded. And as mentioned earlier, he's not really a touchy feely guy.
So just spending time with you is enough.
Bro loves you so much, he'll chill by you while you're talking to the other strawhats. He doesn't need to involved in the conversation. He'll just sit by you (he'll take a nap depending on where you are on the ship)
Maybe a small bit of gift giving?
Only if he finds it useful though probably.
Get him stuff to clean his swords with and he'll be happy.
Send him over the moon with alcohol.
But definitely quality time for the most part.
Dude just wants to be by you<3
Sanji:
Is it absurd to say that it's everything? (Because I feel like it is but thats cause I'm in love with him and delulu)
He'll match to whatever your love language is babes<3
Gift giving? He'll spoil you
Quality time? Just hang out with him in the kitchen while he cooks
Words of affirmation? He'll tell you a thousand times a day that he loves you
Acts of service? Say the word and your wish is his command.
Physical touch? He'll be all over you.
He'll match your energy.
Sometimes you'll get the buy 1 get 4 free combo.
He bends over backwards for you.
And it's all super sweet. He'll cook for you, buy you some cute trinkets that you like, spend time with you while you're doing something, tell you all kinds of romantic things, and he'll hold your hand at all times
Bro is such a sweet guy<3
Please tell him that you love him. Reassure him for the love of god
He didn't get it a lot as a kid after Sola died so whenever you do, he really appreciates it <3 (Sanji my sad chef, my beloved I love him so much)
Nami:
Look me in the eye and tell me that her loves languages aren't gift giving and acts of service.
She'll be over the moon if you buy her stuff
Specially if it's expensive <3
Bake something for her, Sanji will help you if you ask him to!
She'll give you a bunch of kisses for it. It's her way of say thank you.
You're the only one who doesn't owe her a single berri. Cause why would she charge the love of her life?
She gets a little jealous super easily though. She'll pout at you. Just laugh at her and tell her she's cute. Kiss her cheek, forehead or tip of her nose if you want to make her melt.
Sometimes she'll indulge in physical touch, only for you though.
She'll hold your hand when strolling through a town on a new island. And then persuade you to buy something she likes by acting cute.
She's super appreciative if you do though
She'll hug you and kiss you with a big grin on her face
It makes her feel important
She likes to make you feel important too. She'll actually go out of her way to buy you stuff sometimes. She teases about an interest fee but if you actually try to pay it, it's the only time she refuses
Ussop:
Words of affirmation
My guy needs a lot of reassurance so he appreciates it
Tell him that he's brave and he'll be absolutely smitten
He also likes physical touch
He'll hold you as he tells his stories
Talk to him about the world. You both love being out on the Grandline and seeing how big the world is. It's one your 'late night can't sleep' topics.
Hangout on the deck of the Sunny and look at stars together. He'll hold your hand and point out the constellations to you. (He learned them from Robin, he just wants to impress you<3)
If you hug him from behind randomly, he'll swoon.
He'll let you stay like that too. He thinks it's sweet. He'll just casually talk to you about his day so far.
He's constantly telling you how much he loves you.
You make him feel strong and brave so of course he's going to return the favor.
Overall, Ussop is just a sweet guy. He likes holding your hand and making you smile<3
Ace:
Oh my beloved sad himbo
Please hold him and reassure him.
He's definitely a physical touch and words of affirmation kinda guy too.
Trace the freckles on his face (he'll melt in your arms with a blushing face if you call them mini constellations<3)
He likes to hold you yeah but please hold him. He needs it.
He likes to be in your embrace but he'll only let you do it when you guys aren't in sight of the crew, he's afraid that Marco and Thatch will tease him for a life time. (They wouldn't)
Pepper his face in kisses
This poor cowboy is so sad please tell him all of the things you love about him
Tell him he's worth everything in the world (Ace was the One Piece</3\hj)
Whisper sweet nothings to him as you guys try to fall asleep at night, that's when his head tries to attack him the most.
He appreciates it all and he'll definitely return the favor.
He constantly has you wrapped in his arms.
He'll kiss the top of your head and nuzzle his face into your hair.
He'll purposely act stupid just to see you laugh.
Please just make him happy. He is so sad
He will deny though.
"Me? Sad? Blasphemy."
Law:
Another quality time kinda guy
He doesn't like physical touch
Or words of affirmation
Please don't openly say you love him or promise him anything, the last person who did both those things died almost immediately after (he's traumatized </3)
Just spend some time with him, that's all he asks. You don't have to say anything he just wants to he by you.
He doesn't know how to accept gifts so that's also kinda out of the question
If you do something for him though, he'll be appreciative. In his own way
Just quality time for the most part.
Just sit by him while he reads or looks over some notes he has.
He's comforted by your presence, you make him happy even if he never outwardly shows it
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wolfiesmoon · 9 months ago
Text
Who is who again?
Riddle, Vil, Idia (seperately) x gn!reader
i was thinking and thinking and then i remembered that basic overdone fanfiction tropes do in fact exist, so here's a silly lil bodyswap fic for the soul
yuu is a little silly prankster goofster who likes messing around and trolling people in this fic, just saying in advance that i did inject a bit of personality in them
also i apologise if the fanfic becomes confusing to read at any point, it's kind of hard writing the reader's actions while in someone else's body, especially when interacting with the person you're swapped with haha
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‧₊˚✩彡 Riddle Rosehearts
"Okay, so you're tellin' me that you're Riddle, and you're the Prefect?" Cater pointed to each of you respectively, still trying to grasp the situation. Trey, Ace and Deuce seemed equaly stumped.
"Yep. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but I'm in Riddle's body now." you replied, shrugging casually. "You shouldn't have told them so early on, Riddle, I wanted to mess around a bit."
"Oh, now I'm very glad I told them so early. Knowing you, you'd cause far too much trouble for me to be able to uphold my reputation." Riddle shuddered, imagining the silly pranks you'd pull on everyone while in his body. Well, I suppose they wouldn't be very silly to him.
"Wait. If I'm in your body, does that..."
You quickly took out Riddle's magical pen and pointed it towards Ace, yelling out "Off with your head!"
To your surprise, it actually worked and Ace had a collar around his neck. So you can use magic now.
"HEY! Why did you do that!?" Ace called you out.
"It's revenge for stealing the bit of food I was saving for last on Friday. And also, I needed someone to test out whether I can use magic now." you smirked mischeviously at his annoyance. Now this is fun.
"This still feels unreal. I cannot believe I'm looking at myself talking to someone else. And fooling around like an idiot, too." Riddle did not seem amused.
"Listen, okay, I finally have magic now and I'm gonna take advantage of that. Which means you better run, Cater." you rubbed your hands together evilly.
"What?! Why me?!" Cater was not prepared for this attack.
"Too much magicam. Not enough reality. Collar needed." you explain like a robot overlord and point Riddle's magical pen at Cater.
"Now, now, let's not do that, okay?" Trey gently wrapped his hand around the magical pen in your outstretched hand, smiling at you.
You were about to shake his hand off and proceed with your collaring plan, but you got a better idea.
"No, no, you're right." you shook your head, lowering your hand. Cater breathed a sigh of relief.
"Since I'm Riddle and all, I have to uphold a perfect test score on every test." everyone looked at you, wondering where you were going with this.
"This might be an awkward time to mention that I haven't studied for tommorow's test at all."
"Oh, no. Absolutely not. You are coming with me." Riddle was not about to let his grades slip by such a wide margin. He'll make you memorise things until atleast a 90% is guaranteed, as much as he would hate to get one.
Originally, he was going to try and figure out how to switch you back as soon as possible but that'll have to wait after tommorow it seems.
"WAIT, CAN YOU LIKE, ATLEAST REMOVE THIS COLLAR BEFORE YOU LEAVE?!" Ace yelled behind you but you just whistled innocently, not paying attention to his despair.
.
"That's how the Queen's succesor managed to- are you even listening?"
"You know, it looks kind of funny when I'm being scolded by myself." you yawned, placing your chin on your arms which were currently crossed on the table.
"This is NO laughing matter. My grades are at stake here." Riddle scolded you some more. You nodded sleepily and he took that as a sign to continue.
"So as I was saying- What are you doing now?" Riddle followed your line of sight, his gaze falling on the mirror inside his room. You were looking at him?
"Woah... You're, like, actually pretty cute." you turned back to him, excited at your discovery.
"...What are you blabbering on about? This is NO time to be fooling around, as I have been telling you for the past- Wow, you really are hopeless." Riddle sighed, watching you examine his face in his mirror and still not listening to the magical history lesson.
It does not help at all that you made him lose composure with that "cute" comment.
"Your eyelashes are nice." You comment, smiling at your own reflection.
"What an oddly specific compliment." Still, Riddle felt all weird inside when you said that. This is not fair. Now he can't focus on teaching you anymore.
"It's not oddly specific, really. Guys have really great eyelashes sometimes." You batted your lashes at the mirror and then at him, trying to showcase his charm.
"That is... very strange. Please stop that." Riddle still felt weird about seeing his own face make such silly expressions.
"Hey, if I were in my own body right now I would be swooning over you. Just for your information." You rolled your eyes playfully, entirely insistant on getting out of studying by flustering the hell out of poor Riddle.
"Wha- That's it, off with your-" Riddle reached for the magical pen which would normally be in one's pocket, only to realise that you don't even own one. Of course.
"Oh, Riddle. You silly goose. I'm the one in power here." You intertwined your fingers like a supervillain.
"Please, let's just get back to studying." If Riddle were in his own body right now, his face would be red all over from embarrasment.
"If you insist." You sighed in feigned defeat, your mind already cooking up more plans to embarrass Riddle while you're in his body.
How very fun indeed.
"Why are you smiling at me like that? That kind of smile does not suit my face." Riddle seemed concerned about his body's fate.
"Hmmm, I wonder how many drinks I can order at the Mostro lounge in one sitting." You wondered aloud on purpose.
"What?!"
"What? I didn't even say anything this time." you faked your innocence.
This is going to be a nightmare for Riddle, isn't it?
‧₊˚✩彡 Vil Schoenheit
"Oh. My. God." you lightly slapped your cheeks while looking at yourself in the mirror to make sure this is reality.
Well, you suppose they aren't exactly your cheeks. You're currently inside Vil freaking Schoenheit's body and you have no idea how it happened.
You do suppose all logic kind of gets thrown out the window in a world where magic exists, so swapping bodies with someone might not be that outlandish. Now you wonder if you're the only one who this happened to, and what your body is up to.
Speaking of being Vil Schoenheit now, does that mean you have to uphold his insanely strict daily routine now?
Nah, who are you kidding? You're going to cause as much trouble as you can for this pretty boy. He wakes up much earlier than you thought, so you don't know what to do right now. You walk around his room, inspecting every corner for some prank ammunition.
Rook knocked on the door all of a sudden, telling Vil that he's worried since he's taking longer than usual. You let him into the room.
You decided that you're not going to tell anyone that you're actually not Vil and and act as him for as long as you possibly can.
"Oh, I was just... thinking about something." you grinned evilly at the mirror, before turning back to face Rook.
"Oh my, it seems you were so lost in thought that you've completely forgone doing your hair and makeup. Quite the unpleasant surprise. What troubles you so?" Rook seemed utterly hearbroken.
Wow, he's blunt sometimes. Not that you care about that right now.
"I was just thinking that I'll probably skip all that today. You know, going for a natural look." You twirled a piece of Vil's hair in your hand.
Rook tried convincing you otherwise but you shooed him out, not wanting to hear anything about how 'a natural look also involves doing subtle, light makeup'. You're on a mission here.
Speaking of, you just got a great idea.
You opened his Magicam after getting dressed, briefly gawking at the follower count before clicking on the 'new post' button.
You placed Vil's phone horizontally against your chest, taking an unflattering chin photo and posting it to magicam with the caption "#chinningtime😍😍😍😍", giggling like an idiot all the while.
Within a minute, your post has already gained about 2 thousand likes and loads of very confused (and amused) comments.
What great encouragement to post another one.
You placed the selfie camera of his phone close to your forehead, taking a forehead touch perspective pic. You added the caption "what my kitten sees😈💯🔥" and posted it.
You were laughing your ass off at all the comments when someone knocked at the door. "Roi du Poison, this is an intervention. I am very concerned about you."
Hahahaha, of course he would be one of the first people to worry about you.
Rook joined you once again in your room, explaining how concerned he is about your behavior this morning and how it's very unlike you. I mean, jeez, is Vil allergic to fun or something?
However, Rook wasn't the only one that had concerns with you, it seems.
"Would you care to explain what these are?" you were surprised to hear your own voice, turning your gaze back to the door where you were standing with a very displeased face, holding up your phone with the two selfies you took earlier. It feels dystopian to see yourself standing right in front of you. Out of body experience, for real.
"Wait. Before anything, just who are you?" you wanted to know just who was in your body, though you were already about 90% sure of it.
"Ah, Trickster. What brings you into Pomefiore?" Rook questioned internally how Vil doesn't recognise you.
"For your information, I am Vil. That other person next to you is not Vil. I'd assume you're the prefect, then?" he looked you with authority, leaving no room for stalling or avoiding his question.
"Yeah, yeah. You got me. But like, it's funny, right?" you shrugged, smiling goofily.
Vil dragged you off to the headmage's office, promising to explain things to Rook later and giving a firm scolding to you.
.
"Now that everything is finally sorted and we're excused from class for the day, would care to delete those... unflattering posts, please?" once the two of you were back in Vil's room, he immediately brought up that topic.
By now, they had to have gathered about 70k likes, right? Hehehehe.
"Do not smile at me like that. Or I will take back my phone and delete those horrid photos myself. Do you even realise what a PR nightmare this could be?" he placed his hands on his hips. You feel like you look completely different now that Vil's mannerisms are reflected on your own body. Body language really makes a man, huh?
"Oh, come onnnn, your fans love it. Everyone's laughing and saying how surprising it is to see you post something like this. See, they even got the hashtag #chinningtime trending!" you showed him pictures of his fans taking the same unflattering chin photos.
"What joy does someone derive from selfies as horrible as that? You made me look utterly horrible with those angles." You watched your own face contort with cringe. It's amusing how funny you look.
"People love silly things from time to time. For a celebrity as serious and professional as you, occasional silliness makes you look more relatable to your fans. A celebrity with a good sense of humor is the best kind in my opinion." you gave him a happy thumbs up. It was also for your own amusement, but you really don't feel like getting scolded even more than you have on your way back to the dorm.
"That is... the smartest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth." He sighed, "I suppose it would cause people to talk about it even more if I deleted them now. But I am still not happy about them."
You ignored the jab at your intelligence, turning around to look at yourself in the mirror. "You know, Vil, you can let loose from time to time. Smile and goof around without worrying what someone might think." your eyes travelled down the sculpted jawline of your new reflection.
"In a way, you're right for suggesting that. But I'm not someone who enjoys your sense of humor or relaxed philosophy to begin with." he was right. He only jokes on occasion and his jokes aren't very goofy.
"You're right..." now that you technically are him, you can see first hand how much he cares about his body. His skin is soft and gleaming, his hair is healthy and shiny and his body is nice to move around in.
"You seem lost in thought. It's unlike you." you looked back at him through the mirror.
"I just thought about how admirable you are. Like, damn, I could nevaaa." Vil inferred you were talking about his strict daily routine. You seem different now. More quiet and thoughtful than usual. And he definitely didn't miss the pink dusting his cheeks on his own face through the mirror's reflection.
"Thank you." 'admirable' is a compliment slightly rarer than the usual ones talking about his beauty.
"By the way, your smile is beautiful. Not the one in all the movies, the one you don't consciously make." you closed your eyes, recalling that exact face of his. Too pretty for his own good, that man.
"Thank... you. You seem in a great mood to compliment me. Surely you don't think this will be enough to make up for the selfies, because it is not." at this point, even Vil didn't know what to think. The smile he doesn't consciously make, huh...
"Nah, those were just random ones I wanted to get off my mind. Oh, by the way, I don't know how to do your makeup look. Care to do it for me, pookie bear?" you sprung up from the chair at the vanity table, already getting excited about messing him up on purpose by opening your eyes when he tells you not to or moving your lips away from the lipstick, making it smudge.
You got way too sentimental for a moment there. And you're sure he noticed.
"Back to your regular self, I see. Fine, I will make myself look beautiful, as always." he smiled confidently. Though he himself has become curious about that side of you now.
Do you really think of him as a victim of your little pranks like everyone else, or are you hiding something else behind your silly smile?
‧₊˚✩彡 Idia Shroud
You were surprised to find a different voice calling out to you in the morning and telling you to wake up, one that sounded more cheerful, peppy, childlike.
And sure enough, it was Ortho's face that greeted you instead of your usual furry friend Grim.
As it turns out, you woke up in Idia's body this morning. What a lovely surprise.
You mean that both sarcastically and in the regular sense.
While you were explaining what was happening to a confused and worried Ortho, Idia's phone started buzzing somewhere in the bed. This dude sleeps with his phone inside his bed? Well, you suppose you have no time for judgement when the phone call might be important.
You rummage through his bed and eventually extract his phone. It was your number calling him.
When you pick up, you hear your own panicked voice on the other end. "U-Um, is this- Are you- How do..."
"Yes, I'm the Prefect. Looks like we switched bodies overnight." you inferred that he wanted to know who exactly just picked up the phone.
"How exactly do you think that happened? I mean, that's NOT normal." your voice on the other end seemed much calmer now.
"Hm, I have no clue, but I do know that I'm going to have loads of fun..." you grinned widely, catching a glimpse of yourself on Idia's dark phone screen and flinching slightly. You're definitely not going to get used to looking like someone else for a while. Especially if your new appearance is as unique as Idia's.
"What do you mean by that? Seriously, wha-" you ended the call before your voice could finish the sentence.
"Hehehehe... I bet he's panicking so hard right now." you giggled to yourself, still feeling a little weird about the fact that it's Idia's voice coming out of your mouth instead of your own.
"Brothe- No, Prefect. Who was that?" it was adorable how worried Ortho was over his brother. Or you, you suppose.
"Oh, don't worry your pretty little head about it..." you patted Ortho's head, hand moving over his flames with interest. "Go ahead and have fun, I'll be here if you need me." you gently shooed Ortho out of Idia's room to execute your master trolling plan.
You sat behind Idia's computer, booting it up. His computer works really fast, which isn't all that surprising considering his skills. He probably built the whole PC from scratch.
Surely, Idia won't mind if you play his games for a bit. You just want to see how far he's gotten. How many items he's saved up.
Hehehe.
You opened up one of the games you've been dabbling in yourself a bit, giggling to yourself about the random anime girl backround.
"Jeez, he's basically pro at this point." you went through his obtained characters and all the stats on most characters were maxed out.
But, since he still hasn't obtained the new character AND he has loads of gems in his inventory, he surely won't mind if you do the work for him, right?
You started pulling for characters in the gacha, waiting for the little indicator that you got a rare character. The flames of your hair flickered more and more with each pull, knowing you were getting closer.
Just when you got the pull animation you were looking for, the door to his room burst open and you saw yourself, all panicked and panting. Took him long enough, jeez.
"Oh, hi, me! I was just pulling for this character on your behalf, and-" you glance at the monitor "Looks like I won the fifty/fifty, hehe~" you acted cute and innocent.
"W-W-WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! I didn't- I didn't want this character! I was saving up for the re-run, and- Agh!" Idia pushed you away from his keyboard, and he stared at the screen with pure horror in his eyes. You wonder what color his hair would be if he were in his body right now. But as it stands, his flames are flickering happily above your head at a succesful trolling attempt.
"Just buy more gems, bae. Money solves all your problems." you pat his head, kinda cringed out by the way your face can contort when it's making faces candidly. You really look like that when in despair, huh?
Idia ignored the way the casual pet name made him feel. He's supposed to be furious at you right now, not flustered.
"Noooooooo, this is the worst day of my life...." he hid his face in his hands.
"You know what, though? Look at the bright side! I get to figure out how your hair looks when it's wet. I doubt you'd do it yourself and I've been morbidly curious for a while." you patted his shoulder in an overly cheerful manner.
"Wha- Abso-freaking-lutely not. You're a weirdo of the third degree." he crossed his arms, still feeling a bit heartbroken over his videogames being tampered with.
"Is it that weird that I find your hair pretty?" you run your hand through his hair for the thousandth time this morning. It just feels so strange, yet nice under your fingers.
"Finding out if I become bald when my hair gets wet doesn't seem like something a hair admirer would do, but IDK, maybe my definition is different from yours." Idia shrugs, scowl still as big as ever.
"But really, I am an admirer. I kept looking at myself or, well, you in your phone camera this morning because your hair is just so pretty. Watching your hair fluctuate with your emotions is always a fun sight, too. Like damn, your hair is literally on fire, how cool is that?" you explain your thoughts, twirling a piece of his hair in your hand and smiling at it.
"If only I could cuddle up to you and use you like a heater. Too bad your hair's just a normal temperature." Idia's heart almost exploded at the mental image that formed in his head when you said that. And it was even worse because it was coming out of his own mouth.
"T-This is not okay... You can't do this to me...!" he mumbled, not meeting your eyes.
You don't get it, you just dealt 99999 damage to his falling-in-love-resistance shield. Just how do you manage to do that?
"Actually, now that I can look at it up close as much as I want, your face is like, really well proportioned too. Like..." you bit your lip as a joke, wanting to look overly flirty. "That's all I'm gonna say."
Okay, now you've done it. He might just pass out, right now.
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flipppyflopp · 4 months ago
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Do any of the other NRC animals have a form of "speech", like how SebCroc says waka? Just cause I'm curious if Vil has tried to teach kitty Epel other words.
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I like to think that all the other first years in my NRC Zoo AU would have unique ways of speaking, but none are quite as iconic as Sebcroc’s “Waka.” Since Ace and Deuce are hedgehogs, they mainly communicate in squeaks. Jack is a wolf, but I like to think he makes those exaggerated “boofs” and “awoof” noises.
I wish I could somehow convey Epel’s meows with a country twang, but I have no idea on what that would even look like typed out. Sometimes Epel tries to bark like a dog because he wishes he could be a big tough wolf/dog like Jack instead of a small cat that everyone fawns over. Then last, but certainly not least, Ortho is an iDog in this au, so he can play whatever noise/song he wants, but I think it would be funny if all the other characters hear beeps and boops, while Idia understands it perfectly as well as the other animals. Either that or Ortho could speak in binary, which would be hilarious since it would just be a bunch of zeroes and ones.
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yuri-is-online · 4 months ago
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Ok so jadeyuu! Jadeyuu? Jade is an eel. Jade has never been in a relationship- never even got the urge. So he's kinda panicking when he finally snaps out of his little domestic daydreams only to realize. He has no idea how to actually get to those daydreams.
How do humans court? Fuck humans for a second how does his own species court??? He only know surface level (ha) shit he never paid attention beyond that cause it was "irrelevant" (he wants to go back in time and punch himself so bad. For several reasons).
So now he's trying to figure it out but heres the thing, he only has super cheesy media to work with. Bro is taking it so seriously but some of the stuff is just???
Why is sharing clothing so important?
Are flowers really that big of a deal?
Why do all these couple fight all the time? He doesn't want to fight with yuu he just wants to feed them mushroom dishes and cuddle and "cuddle" He doesn't want to fight! Why do couple always fight in these movies is it necessary?? Is it a love language??
What's a one night stand?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WITH SOMEONE YOU JUST MET???
... has yuu had any? They told him once that most of their past relationships were "situationships" and he had to laugh and pretend he wasn't about to simultaneously raise hell and profusely thank your exes for fumbling so hard.
What's this about your father's consent? Does he need to get your father's consent? Would any parent work or just your father? Do you even like your father- shit you haven't even seen your father since you've been here and he's a literal world away. ....shit.
Someone stop him he's about to create an entire world wide scheme to invent otherworldly communication just to ask his not-parners dad if he can even court them in the first place-
Oh it's not that important in modern day?? Oh. Thank goodness.
At what point in this can he ask you to be his officially?
At what point can he start indulging himself in all his somewhat ugly jealous urges in public without scaring you off?
Would it be considered a "red flag" to ask you to only talk to him? He knows it is he's just holding out hope that maybe you'll agree to be kept in a large terrarium of his and be completely his and-
You would never agree to that. Oh well, an eel can dream. If Ace gets all clingy with you again he's going to break his arm off.
How long does he have to wait until he can show you to list of names he's already thought about giving your future children?
CAN HE PLEASE JUST HOLD YOU??? PLEASE!!!
Idk where I'm going with this I just got the mental image of jade watching titanic (something something convenient potion accident) and hurriedly scribbling down notes every time something romantic happens and I wanted to share that image.
I like the idea of Jade doing research about human courtship. I really really like it I think it's so stupidly funny to picture Mr. Suave, one hell of an eel butler reading human x merfolk fanfiction and going O: that's me (˶ˆᗜˆ˵) Or watching romcoms and taking notes that's hilarious. He watches titanic and nods "yes this would never happen with us, I would simply drag them into the sea and then we would live together happily ever after while everyone else drowns- ah or is that too fatalistic?"
But yes he doesn't know much about courtship in general. He can "flirt" but its not intentional on his part, he's just being snarky. But with you he has no idea what to do. The clothing thing makes no sense to him, is it to stake a claim? Then why not bite you? That would get the point across faster... is it a him thing to want to do that or is it a mer thing? One night stands are too complicated, there's too many ways for that to go wrong the only reason Jade could think to have one is if someone has information you want to steal and he's not interested in obtaining things that way. They don't owe you anything that way.
Jade with soft yan! urges he tries to tamp down because he knows they're not healthy but he just wants to protect you form the dangerous that exist in the coral sea. Even if you become a merfolk you still used to be human, soft, fragile, and so naive... really there's no end to the things that could steal you away from him. Like Ace! Now if you could please look the other way while he disposes of this pest- he jests. He would never rob you of your friends, everyone needs them and he needs you to need him the same way humans need air.
Also the sheer irony of Yuu complaining all of their past relationships being situationships when that's what they have going on with Jade right at that very moment. Maybe that was intentional huh Jade ever think of that? Maybe the pretty human was huffing at you and batting their eyes because they are frustrated that history is repeating itself and the sketchy guy their friends don't approve of is being unclear about his feelings again. He figures that out once he finally finds out the definition and he feels so so stupid
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