#it's fun to put random staff in the tags

[violetlauren]

I started to redesign the Jackal squad for my AU. This is Trois. I'm still developing her character but It's going good so far, I pretty much everything I need for her. She's very hot headed and agressive, it's rare to see her smile, if ever. Despite that she's very protective of those she cares about and uses her agression to protect those close to her. I'll be drawing all of them, Uno is up next <:)

[anomaly-hivemind]

Whore Convention ☆ Ghostface, Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Pennywise, Jeepers Creepers, Slenderman, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Albert Wesker, and Pyramid Head x Reader | Kinktober Day 9

Summary: Part two of horror convention, reader uses their VIP pass to have some fun at different stations.

Word Count: 2673

Tags: free use, gangbang, rough sex, overstimulation, mask kink, cum as lube, fem reader,, degradation, spit-roasting, creampies, convention, non-human characters, non-human genital, size difference, size kink, large cock, manhanding, spit as lube, face fucking, semi-public, multiple orgasm, vaginal fingering, monsterfucking, double penetration. Anal, tentacles, bukkake

It's that time of year again, it was time to go to another horror convention. You have been to a couple of them, all very entertaining in their own right but this one feels like it's going to have a different vibe at least according to your friend. She had gone to her first convention last year and swore that it was the best experience of her life and even changed her forever. ( her words). She gave you her VIP ticket because something had come up and she couldn’t make it. So she begged you to go, like literally begged and you were sure she would have cried if you said no. Saying that this opportunity could not be wasted just because of her and that quote on quote someone needs to have their holes filled in her place, which you are sure is some random euphemism she made up or something.

You had nothing better to do on a near Halloween weekend, nothing you cared about that is. You put on a nice cosplay from Jennifer's body. You were wearing a very purple cheerleading outfit, its skirt wasn't incredibly short and the top even though it was long-sleeved was a bit too small so it was a bit cropped. But that's all alright because you look good and a few people recognized the DK on the shirt.

You looked down at your VIP pass to see the location and the time. As well as a cute little skull on the corner. It was on the furthest corner of the building you were in but you still have time to buy or look at a few things before you walk over to that event spot. All you got were a few posters for your room, you even had time to put them back in your car.

===============================================================================

You walked to your Vip event spot in the convention building. It didn't seem like there were a lot of people over here beside you. A person leads you into the room and you go and sit in the small crowd. The spokesperson you assumed got on the stage and spoke into the mic.

“May our lucky vip please come to the stage” the woman spoke and everyone waited For someone. You also look around for a moment wondering who it was but no one came to the stage.

“um if you have a skull of your pass you our lucky vip… could you come on the stage.” You looked down at your card… and noticed that you had a skull. Well shit.

You reluctantly get up and head to the stage, after you were sure that no one else was gonna get up and then confirm once with a door staff that you were in fact the person they were talking about. While they shoved a paper for you to sign, you didn't bother reading much of it and just wrote your signature. It was something like a consent to participate in the event and you didn't want to be kicked out so you didn't hesitate.

You look out in the crowd, now feeling like there were more people now that you weren't among all of them and a bunch of them were in hardcore cosplay.

“Now look at you all pretty up for our little event.” the woman said and could you hear her southern accent. You smiled and thanked the woman.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Well why don't you pick a set of crowd goers. Doesn't matter how many.”

You assume this was some kinda cosplay contest and you got to pick. You picked A secluded few people who looked like they were straight from the respective franchise.

They all came up to the stage one after the other. You had to pick the Creeper, it almost gave you chills looking at him, the fit was spot on. Then you picked a Pennywise because you love a good clown. Purely for nostalgia you picked the few creepypasta you saw that being Eyeless Jack and Laughing Jack, you were sure that the slenderman had mechanical tentacles that even looked wet. Then your guilty pleasure of yours from all the mask wearers Ghostface, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees and Pyramid Head and lastly you picked the Person who basically Could be his doppelganger Albert Wesker.

You shiver now they are all in front Of you. They were huge, like unnaturally so and you can't tell nor see any stilts. It makes A nervous sound come out of you as you have to look Up at most if not every single one of the men In front of you.

“Well that's a hefty pickin’s you've got.” The woman said before snapping her fingers a few times. Quick moving staff brought up some kind of privacy curtain. It made you confused. You looked at all ten of the people you had selected and just stood there.

“Well make sure you get a wheelchair after the event but don't keep your guess waitin’” she smirks.

“What?”

“You sighed the paperwork right?”

“Uhm yes?”

“Oh then your good, have fun being fucked and sucked.” with those words the spokeswoman ran off stage.

Your eyes widened as you realized what you had signed you for, that being to your consent form for some sex event your friend was supposed to be at instead of you. A shaky breath leaves your lips, you really picked a group of strangers to fuck you. A group of men who were all taller and bigger than you. What was most shocking to you though was the fact that you weren't fully opposed to all of it, if not a bit nervous. But you were down for it in a slightly whorish way.

Up close you couldn't help but look at how detailed each Of these men looked, if you were delusional or something like that you may assume right away that they were the real thing, but that was a completely crazy idea. Right?

Ghostface was the first to make a move on you. Practically ripping your shirt off and it falls to the ground then stealing your panties which you don't think you'd be getting back anytime soon or at all for that matter. You felt like the main character a porno being topless with just a mini skirt and shoes on. All of them were muttering pleased comments for the most part.

“What a willing whore” Wesker said, and his voice caused you to shiver in delight from how spot on it is. Actually they all sounded like their canon voices at least the talkers did. You didn't get much time to be shocked or think about it, when a tendril brought you to your knees. It felt slimy and wet and you couldn't help but touch it.

Jason bends your ass up as rubs his fat fingers between your folds. You bite back hiss, it was too much fiction too soon. Who noticed and pulled away for a moment . The Creeper smirks before moving near Jason and spits on you. You feel his thick saliva sliding down your lower lips and a bit down one of your legs. Jason moves his fingers back against his folds, this time with much ease. You could feel your arousal start to make way now.

The one with The blue mask stands in front of you while unzipping his pants. His cock jumping for your attention, you wrap A hand around it. You cover it in your mouth’s moisture and give it a few strokes, effectively coating his gray shaft with your spit. You open your mouth to get ready to take him. You look up at him as he grips your face and shivers his cock into your mouth. You gagged around him as the rough actions but try to avoid biting him. He was so distracting that almost didn't register Jason pushing two fingers into your walls. His fingers were very thick and it caused you to moan and Eyeless Jack's cock.

“Going a bit easy there” the scratchy voice of the monochromatic clown laughed out.

You weren't paying attention to what the clown said because all you really could think about was how good Jason was making you feel. You could feel your orgasm jumping to make a first appearance everytime you would feel the hockey masked man’s knuckle constantly brushing at your clit. Eyeless Jack was getting sloppy with his thrust and you knew he was getting closer and with you hollowing out your cheeks to help he started to topple over with pleasure. His cock throbbed a few times before shooting his load into your throat forcing you to swallow the cool liquid.

You were falling into your own peak and you could feel it becoming one with your senses, your eyes closed tight and your legs shaking as you fell past the teerting edge. You wanted to curse out as your orgasm gets cut short when Jason gets pulled away by another person, effectively ruining your orgasm. You let out a whimper, but it didn’t take long for the hole to be filled, you get shrouded in the shadow of the muscular pyramid head. You looked back at the beefy man and shivered. He was huge, very potential to be seven feet tall. He plunges his cock into you, and a scream, even with how wet you were he was large and stretching you out. Your eyes watered and a part of you felt like you could die.

“That's what I like to hear” Pennywise chortled with sadistic amusement.

Pyramid head was rough on you, completely focused on himself and made sure that you were taking him fully with each thrust. It was as if you were mush and you didn't think you could be overwhelmed so fast but you were, and if slenderman’s tendrils weren't holding you up, you'd surely collapse on the stage floor. The tentacles were kneading and groping your breast with a slick texture that was cold on your skin. He was moving with little mercy but even passing the hurt it felt good to you. You could feel him throbbing inside you, it almost felt like you had a lower heartbeat because of it. You wanted to use one of your hands to touch yourself up. It gets taken and occupies hisdick.

“Sluts worry about others first.” Ghostface spoke using your hand to stroke his cock.

You moan, feeling your eyes roll back when a new contender moves in front of you. You look up at them, it was Jason; your gentle giant that had done some help, loosening you up. You open your mouth for him, your tongue hanging out ready to take him. He pushed his thick length into your mouth, you wrapped your lips around him and started to suck him off. It was the mix of Pyramid head getting ready to fill you with his seed, sucking off Jason and jerking off Ghostface. It was a complete sensory overload and you don't know if you'll make it to the end of it all. It was a mix of muffled groans and your also muffled moans.

You feel the borderline hot cum filling you up and trying to push past his cock. He makes sure to pull out of you as slowly as he could as if he didn’t want to leave Pennywise the first to take his place and quickly while wiggling his fingers before coiling around his hips. His cock felt like he was shifting inside you. It has ridges that were scratching at your walls pushing cum deeper into your cunt. He was thrusted into you into you wildly; he was giggling wildly with each movement.

Slenderman comes up from behind you. A slimy tendril prodding your tight ring of muscle. He circled around the outside spreading slimy fluid before he pushed in the wriggling limb. As he pushed it deeper into your rectum. The circumference widened. It stretched your whole beyond what you believed it could. He was literally in your guys right now, but it felt good. You moaned around the cock in your mouth with it pushed and wiggled around you.

When he slipped out his tentacle you thought it was over but then he thrusted in two of the appendages into your anus. You yelped around Jason and small tears sprang in your eyes. Surprisingly though, it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.

Jason fills your mouth with his gooey essence, happily. Then after him cums Ghostface, coating your hand in its sticky substance. The domino effect causes you to have yet another orgasm and as you clench around Pennywise swells up a bit before filling you with his rainbow clown Jizz.

They leave you a cum dumped mess with slenderman’s appendages rocking in their pendulum pattern. You felt like you were going to pass out but your holes still had a guest to attend to. Wesker and Myers go for your mouth and cunt respect. Weaker pulls your hair back as he pushes his cock into your hole and Michael was basically throat fucking you.

The Creeper and Laughing Jack then made you stroke them off. You felt like you had been thoroughly passed around and anyone Who had you before was jacking off as you got used like a fleshlight. You have another climax and you were sure everything had gone dark for a few seconds but the bounce of that seemed to matter, to the men of the mattered.

“An Excellent whore to take all of us” Wesker let out a groan as he slammed his hips into you over and over. You felt like we're going to cum all over again. His words make you shiver a bit and you start to clench around him, he slaps your ass like a silent approach. Michael was holding your face with a tight grip as he would take slow strokes all the way out of your mouth before ramming back down your throat. It was causing gag reflects a bit as he ruts his hips into you.

The tentacles pumping in and out of you sped up, the tendrils rubbing against you and each other. It felt like ripples coming through them before warm fluid filled your anal cavity. The semen kept coming and coming it’s like it was almost never ending until finally he pulled the tentacles out leaving you back entrance gaping and puckering. The cum poured out like a water leak, dripping down your ass and legs. You glanced down to see the black viscous liquid creeping down your legs.

You felt like you may have choked to death if you went breathing through your nose. The Creeper was looking at you with a hungry gaze as he started to thrust into your hand. Michael started moving faster, taking shorter strokes between your lips before he let out a hushed breath of pleasure. You almost coughed up the amount of thick fluids that had filled your mouth at once, you managed, then he pulled away. Laughing Jack was tracing patterns into your skin as he let out stroke him at your decided pace. You hold his slender cock in your hand in a firm grip, he was already leaking cum before a strong spray hits you in the face.

You could hear some groans and muffled heavy breaths from the men surrounding you. Their hands stroked themselves with vigor. Seemingly all at the same time they blew their loads onto you, painting your bodies with an array of hot cum. All which coat your skin with different levels of thickness and temperatures. Some were stickier than others, some watery. Different colors and smell. They all were panting, you included when the spokeswoman came back with a towel and your promised wheelchair. You had no energy, barely any to get up and put your close back on.

Your friend was right, this was a life changing experience

[hazelfoureyes]

i have a bit of a fun ask :) can u put ur spotify on shuffle and write a fic with vox based on the first song that plays? plz plz HAZEL PLZ

Please please please know I am still getting my sea legs with Vox! So don’t go into this expecting my usual… uhhh skill? Confidence? also testing the new tag list system

「Warnings/Promises: Val exists, Vox x Fem Reader, stalking, pastry decimation, casual sexism」

Stalker’s Tango

From the moment you stepped out of your home, he was eagerly watching.

The security doorbell camera on your porch let him see you wore black pants and a white blouse. Perfect. A white pocket square in his suit jacket pocket to complement. “Wonderful choice as always, babe.” He spoke softly to the screen; to you.

He followed every move, jumping with muscle memory speed from traffic camera to home security camera to shopwindow full of screens.

When you stopped to go into a bakery, he was there in the cctv cameras, fisheye view of your order of cold brew coffee and a croissant. “Impeccable taste.” A confident laugh between you two as he shot off a text to craft services, two words, ‘Croissants. Now.’

“Could you possibly warm that?” You asked the young man behind the counter.

Another text. ‘Heated.’

He watched you at the bus stop. A man sat beside you and smiled at you. You offered a kind smile back. “Who the fuck is that?” He zoomed in, taking a screenshot to send to Velvette, ‘Find socials for this pissant.’

When you stepped onto the bus he sighed, relief the man was no longer bothering you but also with a heart heavy. You didn’t belong on the bus. Why couldn’t he just buy you a car? No, better, He should send a driver to pick you up daily. A personal chauffeur. You shouldn’t have to bother yourself with driving.

No, he was thinking too small. You should live in the tower. Angel Dust used to, why couldn’t you? A moment of fantasy.

Perhaps he’d walk in to find you in your pajamas. What ever could they be? He searched your online shopping history and couldn’t find a single purchase for sleep wear. Your lack of home television and a computer limited him to only watching you from your stoop and beyond. He buckled, what if you didn’t wear anything to bed? Why didn’t you let him see you at night? What did he need to do for you to trust him in your home.

A knock at the door he didn’t acknowledge. His sole focus was you. A book? You minx. Always playing hard to get. He knew you got the e-reader he sent. He watched you take the package from the doorbell camera, after all.

“Sir,” a small and slightly pathetic voice spoken through the door, “I’m getting word from downstairs they’re not sure how to keep croissants warm in the studio.”

Another zoom, what were you reading? He’d have the author on Vox programming, sure to take photos like old chums for you to see on your bus stop bench ads.

Vox rose slowly from his chair, eyes on you as he backed away from his desk.

A change in routine. You cut through Jekyll Park. No cameras.

Vox hurried to the door, huffing as he flung it open, “Have you never heard of a warming lamp?”

“They don’t have any… normally they only offer cold items.”

“Fine then have,” he pointed at a random employee walking by, “that fucker stand there with a toaster oven”

The eel demon shrunk, “Well he works for us not for-.”

The screen that comprised his head filled with static, eyes a swirling rage of red and black, “He works for the Vees. He goes where we tell him.”

He slammed the door, taking a moment to recompose himself before turning to face you. He didn’t want you to see him like that.

Spinning back, charming smile cocked on his face, “Alright where are you?” He strolled up to the displays and returned to his seat, scanning around until he found you again. But he wasn’t finding you. He couldn’t do anything about the park’s lack of cameras, it was pentagram city property, or else he’d have staff in there within the hour. Normally not an issue though, you never cut through that way.

Sixty seconds. Where were you?

Ninety seconds. Where were you.

One hundred and eighty seconds. Where were you!

Vox’s chair fell over as he stood with a panic, hitting the speed dial for Security. As the phone was answered and he began to instruct them to the west entrance of the park, you emerged from the tree lined path and tossed your empty coffee cup and food bag into the recycling bins. You’d just slowed your walk to enjoy your breakfast with a pretty view.

“Nevermind, false alarm fellas.” A nervous chuckle as he pulled at his collar. “Sir we’re not all me-.”

He hung up and leaned on the control panel. He should have sent a text. In fact maybe he still should.

Good Morning sinners! Reminder—- you’re only safe when you’re under the watchful eye of VoxTek Security Cameras.

A mass push text to every VoxTek phone in pentagram city. He watched you look at your phone and then up to the camera pointed directly at you from a light pole. A satisfied hum, “Good girl.”

As his view switched to the VeeTower camera system he danced into the elevator.

Vox’s foot impatiently tapped, staring directly into the eyes of the VoxTek employee holding the toaster oven in his hands. The fishy looking demon was squirming as the heat bled into the metal casing and burned his palms.

“Oh! I didn’t know I paid you to arrive late!” Val’s voice carried across the set.

You gripped the handles of your tote bag, “Val I’m sorry! The bus got a flat tire and I had to walk.”

A hiss as Val leaned down to get eye level with you, “Sluts lie as easily as they open their legs.”

“No, Val.” Vox interjected, tone stronger than he had intended, “She’s telling the truth. It was on the local traffic report. Cut her some slack.”

“I don’t watch that shit.” A sigh, exhaling pink aphrodisiac laced smoke into the air between you three, “Fine. If amorcito says so.” Val smiled to Vox before sending a sneer back to you, “Now fuck off to the dressing room.”

He walked away to shout at someone else, so you took the opportunity to say, “Thank you.” You offered a little head bow, grateful for back-up in your lie. Vox had already been trying to sneak off the set when you started speaking to him, causing him to sheepishly spin around on his heels. “I don’t think we’ve met before, but I see you all over the place. You’re Vox, right?” You extended a hand.

His screen flickered, blue background now with a gradient pink starting from the bottom, a blush rising up his face, “I see my reputation precedes me.” A false bravado as he gestured to himself. He moved the croissant to his right hand so he could shake yours.

“Well… your name and face is on everything. So, yes! I guess so.” You shook his hand, “Oh, I had a croissant too.”

He beamed, “Ya know what they say, great minds and all that. I was just having a little breakfast after reading. I hear they have some on set today in craft services.” You perked up, looking to the food table and the man holding the toaster oven.

“My lucky day! If only they had iced coffee. It would be perfect.” With a polite smile you took a step away, “I gotta go or Val will kill me. Nice to meet you!”

Vox stood still until you were out of sight. His hand crushed the pastry before he launched it across the room, mumbling about coffee before looking back longingly in the direction you’d left in, “See ya later babe.”

༻Masterlist༺

∰ Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult (general tag list):

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei ,  @moonmark98 , @hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain , @harley2223-blog  , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima a , @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby , @dontfuckbutimfab , @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12 , @star-kujo-platinum @ivebeenthearchersstuff , @rubyninja1 , @simphornies

, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog , @thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies , @howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf ,  , @fizzled-phoenix ,  @phobophobular  , @mariaclarade-la-cruz1 , @whateverlololo    , @roxxie-wolf , @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk   , @bontensbabygirl 

[fictionismyreality3]

CAN YOU GIVE US MORE OF JASON STALKING?? I SWEAR TO U, IS REALLY HOTTTT AAAAH

I loved your writing btw

Omgomgomg hi babes!!!! You’re my first ask ever!!! You’ll forever have place in my heart 🥲 but really that is so sweet of you, and toTALLY STALKER JASON IS SO HOT HERE YOU GO

A Little bit of Sunshine

Jason Todd x Reader

Tags: stalker!jason todd, innocent!reader

Warnings: stalking, mention of drugs

Notes: I’m actually dying at picturing getting stalked by Jay 😩 like that should not be hot but it is??? If people like this I might make it into a mini series or something 👀

He was going to stop the first night.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Since Jason had come back from the Pit, being alive was something of a nuisance. Whatever weird ass magic they used to bring him back to life had made it harder to control himself in every way. He went on a year-long violent rampage, much to Bruce’s disdain, that left Gotham in shambles.

Only now was he actually putting a good face behind the name of the Red Hood. It’s not like he wanted to hurt people, but when everything was so vivid, it was hard to listen to Bruce’s non-lethal policy. But as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted Bruce to trust him again.

So, when Dick was called out of Bludhaven for some other crisis, Jason volunteered to help with patrol.

It was the third day of what was supposed to be a week-long shift in Bludhaven, and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Sure he had broken the legs of a few robbers when they tried to run from him, but it was all in good fun.

In fact, Jason was dying for some fun. Bludhaven was somehow even darker and dingier than the rest of Gotham, and it was getting tiring only having drug dealers to play with. The rain was coming down, casting a foggy overcast to the darkening sky, and most of the sane residents had retreated to their homes. Everyone who had ever been to Bludhaven knew that nighttime was when the dangerous criminals liked to do their work.

Which is why Jason was a little astonished that a seemingly random girl was stupid enough to walk home in the dark.

Living in Bludhaven wasn't ideal, but the rent was cheap and that's all that mattered. You had been working at a donation center for the homeless for the last few months, wanting to help out the city in any way you could. It wasn't that you were trying to be a hero or something, you just didn't like seeing other people suffering. It also helped that volunteer work looked killer on a resume. The staff loved you, and quickly entrusted you with the keys, giving you the last shift of the night.

You usually walked home with one of your co-workers, a woman in her 60s named Rose. It wasn't the typical company for someone your age, but her never-ending stories were nice to zone out to after a long day of work. Rose was sick today, which meant you had to walk home alone. Looking out the window, you saw that it was already dark. Definitely not ideal. But, you had made the trip hundreds of times and knew all the shortcuts to get you home quicker.

Jason watched as the girl walked down the dimly-lit streets. He was going to just leave it, and let you learn your lesson the hard way, but then he took a second glance at you.

He thought the Pit bringing him back to life was the closest thing he'd ever get to seeing heaven. But now?

Now he knew he was dead wrong.

A soft face with pretty lips and pretty hair and pretty everything. Jason felt his heart beat inside his chest with a vigour that betrayed the dead man he thought he was. All of the lonely, unclear and dangerous thoughts in his head suddenly vanished. His breaths were heavy and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the pretty little thing walking all alone. He felt like there was blood flowing in his veins again. He felt alive.

If you were walking alone at this time of night you were either innocent or stupid, and the innocence was practically rolling off you in waves. You were far too sweet for this place. His eyes scanned the logo of the bag you were carrying and his heart exploded and regrew in his chest all at once. The kind face you had made sense if you were generous enough to work at one of Bludhaven's seedy donation buildings. His mouth went dry at the idea of anything remotely distressing happening to you.

Fuck it.

He was just gonna make sure you got home safe. That's all it was.

Jumping from rooftop to rooftop, Jason silently followed you as you walked home, watching from above like a twisted guardian angel. He was always on high alert, he was raised to be vigilant, but he found himself paying extra close attention to every single movement he saw out of the corner of his eye. Logic was telling him that if he was going through all this trouble to make sure a random girl was safe, he should just jump down from the roof and walk you home instead of watching like some-

Oh, that was cute.

Jason's gaze followed your hands as you pulled your keys from your bag. The fabric keychain they were attached to was dotted with tiny drawings of the sun. He hadn't even realized that you'd gotten home. Perching on a rooftop, he kept you in his vision while he quickly scanned the area where you lived. It wasn't the best, nothing in Bludhaven was, but at least it wasn't at the south tip of the city.

You had finally gotten home after a long day. Oddly, the walk didn't feel as scary as you expected. Sighing, you took out your keys and unlocked your front door, slipping inside your apartment. After making sure your door was locked, you kicked off your shoes and hung up your jacket, a yawn falling from your lips. You were definitely gonna call it an early night.

The soft clicking of your front door shutting brought Jason's attention back to the present. You obviously got home safe. He should get going. He should get going.

But he stayed rooted on the spot.

The rain fell around him, hitting the concrete rooftop he was frozen on. His helmet suddenly felt claustrophobic and he took it off gasping, the rain soaking his hair. The cold rush of despairing thoughts that he had grown used to flooded back into his brain. His heart grew still in his chest and he felt his smile disappear.

He had smiled?

He hadn't smiled since the pit. He hadn't smiled since he died. You retreated into your apartment and took all the sunshine with you. The sunshine that hadn't been able to reach his skin for years. With a sickening thought, Jason realized that he was about to make a very, very, very bad decision.

Who was he to deny himself happiness? Didn't he deserve to be happy after everything he had been through? He argued with himself as his gaze remained on your front door, trying to will himself to push away the wickedly possessive desire that he felt for you. Jason ran through all the possible outcomes that could come from.. whatever this was, but nothing held a match at the prospect of having you. He had to have you.

Fuck it.

Locking away the part of his mind which screamed at him to stop, he leapt from the rooftop, landing softly on the balls of his feet. Carefully, his head on a swivel for anyone walking by, he took out his phone. His finger hovered over the photo button, his mind telling him that if he did this, there was no going back. He snapped a photo of your apartment.

As he made his way back to the safehouse he was staying in, he could feel you being cemented in his mind. Every raindrop that hit his skin felt like it was washing away everything that he thought was important until only you remained. The image of your precious face became ingrained in his mind. By the time he got back to his safehouse, the only goal he had was to know as much about you as he possibly could.

He was already at his computer, his helmet tossed to the other side of the room. His clothes were still soaked from the rain, but he didn't care. This was more important. You were more important.

Using Bruce's tech, being careful not to leave a trace, he uploaded the photo he had taken of your apartment and began to run a search. Within less than 5 minutes he had everything he would need to keep you for himself. Your school records, social media posts, and more were at his fingertips. He took the liberty of adding himself to your bank account, hacking in so he could be aware of every transaction you made. Soon he would be the one making them for you.

Jason spent the night scrolling through your information. For once he was glad for Bruce's training, as his disciplined mind allowed him to commit everything about you to memory. His eyes burned from lack of sleep, and he was vaguely aware that it was well past 3AM, but he was enraptured reading your search history.

How to change a lightbulb?

Cute.

As soon as he could get a copy of your key made you would never need to change a lightbulb again. Every so often he would come across a photo of you dressed up for some event; a christmas party, a graduation, whatever. When he saw those photos, every doubt that was trying to creep back into his mind was pushed away by his increasingly twisted desire for you.

Jason knew he had gone off the deep end, but if this is what drowning felt like he would gladly let you kill him all over again. When he went to bed that night, he fell asleep knowing you now belonged to him.

And you didn't even know it yet.

[wbtsan]

THE 9TH MEMBER - CHAPTER 1

synopsis. nabi (aka you) has been training for just over 3 years and when you heard you were going to debut, you were super excited to meet your members. although, you were taken aback when you heard that your members were all boys.

pairing. female!reader x ateez!members | tags. the most tiniest angst ever, members angry, nothing else (i think) | genre. fluff | wc. 510+ | masterlist

author note. ahh my first ever series on this blog !! writing this was super fun and i loved all of it !! my mistakes for posting this really late, i recently got my dream job and have been focusing on it! do not worry, i will slowly make my return to writing soon <3

networks. @newworldnet @illusionnet @starlit-network

when you first got news of getting accepted into this new company, you couldn't believe your eyes. all this hard work and effort seemed like it was worth it after all.

"we have a slight problem." your manager says. uh oh. this is going to turn very bad.. "as you would've known we don't have much girl trainees here at the company and since we were aiming for a 5 member girl group, we've decided to do something you probably won't like."

"me!? in a boy group?! b-but, im a girl! wouldn't it be weird if a girl - who is not a boy - is in a boy group?" your face dropped at the sudden announcement. not being able to debut was probably a way better choice than having to debut with boys. "look, we know this came as a shocker but, its really beneficial for you!" your manager tries to say happily. "tomorrow, you'll be meeting the members. trust me, they're really nice!" the staff tries to say before you groan annoyed as you stormed off. "why am i debuting in a boy group? wouldn't i be hated at? wasn't it better if i just debut solo? why am i going to debut with random boys?!" you thought.

-

"what?! a girl?" hongjoong says in shock. over the last 5 years, it's always been just the 8 of the boys together. but now that nabi will debut with ateez, that means there'll be more pressure on hongjoong. from reproducing the songs to recording all of nabi's parts, he gets annoyed over this. "why are we having a girl in our group!? do you not understand the pressure ill be put under!? i have already worked long hours for us to come this far, wouldn't it just be a waste if we have to remake ALL our songs?" hongjoong angrily says. "calm down hongjoong, im sure she'll be a great addition to our group." seonghwa calmly says, trying to calm him down. "exactly! i think having a girl will be a great addition to the team plus, it'll be really good for you guys to have a new friend!" the manager says.

hongjoong sighs before accepting his fate. "fine, but if she isn't what you say she is, then im going to make her first day her last." he says before storming off. the members rub their forehead in devestation as the meeting room stays quiet. "well, how are we going to deal with a girl?" mingi says. "no idea, but we need to give it some time. if we rush her into doing stuff, she'll get uncomfortable and then we'll get in trouble." seonghwa adds on from mingi's statement. "plus, ive heard there were some trainees here who are snitches. hopefully she isn't one of them." wooyoung mentions. "well now that we're talking, you guys will meet her.. tomorrow!" the manager says. "TOMORROW!?" the guys say together. "yes yes, bit of a shocker but im sure you'll be fine!" the members sigh in annoyance before the manager leaves them, the room filling with silence again.

tagging : @taz-97

[robinette-green]

Robin's Inside the Pizza Plex DCA Romance Fics

These are fics I've started that take place inside Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizza Plex. The call is coming from inside the plex!

A Door You're Unable to Close:

(tag)

My best friend talked me into coming with her as moral support to her little brother's birthday party. I hadn't wanted to go to that stupid birthday party to begin with and now I'm trapped in a video game, a horror video game that might kill me. I thought at the time that it was ironic that a kid named Greg had gone missing in a Chuck-e-Cheese of all places but this is taking things much too far.

Invisible:

There's nothing like working for a corporation in a capitalist society to remind you that you are nothing but furniture and need not be perceived unless needed. Even the animatronics in this place are treated more human than I am. At least I'm on the same level as the staff bots… that's a plus? Though usually, people prefer to speak with a staff bot over me, so I suppose 'even' is the lie I tell myself. I've worked for Fazbear Entertainment at their pizza plex for about a year. I do a little bit of everything. Cleaning, repair, sales… even security sometimes. Most of the human workers have been replaced with robots to cut down on employee costs. Sometimes I think I'm the last human working here, but then I remember Vanessa still works here too. Sometimes I wonder if they just forgot to fire me or tell me I was fired, but I'm still getting paychecks, so… yeah. The time clock beeped an acknowledgment as I punched in my employee number. "Attention! Freddy Fazbear's Mega Pizzaplex is closed! Have a pleasant evening!" Sighing, I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and took a long swig of my coffee.

The Star Dome (LateNight DayDreams):

An OC named Fey is a new animatronic that has been added to the plex.

Another Daycare Story:

This is another of your reader x Sun/ Moon Pizza Plex daycare stories. We start with a 20-something individual getting a job in the daycare and having to overcome a fear of animatronics. There will be some angst with Moon. Then the romance will begin. Eventually, we'll hit the events of the game and go through all that fun, but until then, this will be mostly random fluff and angst shenanigans in the loose shape of a story as our main characters fall in love.

Little Assistant:

MC is the assistant to the CEO of Fazbear Entertainment. As Vanessa kidnaps and kills children while attempting to bring Springtrap back to life, MC is forced to clean up the mess and cover up the disappearances. MC is also tasked with keeping an eye on the Daycare attendants, keeping them in line as they are forced to help kidnapping children. “Did you do it? How do we know if it worked?” “We’ll have to test out some command code on him. Everything uploaded without issue, but they do have minds of their own. He may put up a fight.” I wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, wanting as little to do with this as I could get away with. They had already forced me to help with so much, cleaning up all that mess, all that red, covering up the disappearance. Shuddering, I looked through the glass into the daycare beyond. Deep in the dark, I could see two red eyes glaring out at us, furious. I couldn’t blame him. The virus they had activated in the night mode daycare attendant was going to be used for something horrific.

Lost Time:

The reader, already in an established relationship with Sun and Moon, dies and wakes 5 years later in the body of an animatronic. The pizza plex was rebuilt after the collapse and fire. Due to some miracle, all of the animatronics had survived the disaster and were now back to work, entertaining the general public as though nothing had happened. After everything fell apart, children stopped disappearing, but the missing children were never found. Business was booming, and everything seemed to be better than ever. With the massive influx of money, Fazbear Entertainment decided to invest in a new animatronic, a drummer for the band, to add to the rock and roll feel of the Glam Rocks. But in the way of all things with Fazbear Entertainment, the acquisition of this animatronic was very confidential. Several none disclosure agreements were signed, and the whole thing was very shady. None of this mattered to me, of course. I was more worried about my new role in life. Well, it was life in a sense. I had finally woken up after 5 years to find myself strapped to a chair in parts and services, having been turned into an animatronic.

Lost in the Dark:

Working third shift for security wasn’t so bad. I spent the first few hours patrolling the halls of the upper floors, that being what I had been assigned. Then I would spend the rest of the night at the security desk in the daycare, cameras pulled up on the computer screens and keeping an eye on the ‘crazy’ animatronics that inhabited that colourful playground. 6 months of working night shift in the daycare, and I am unfortunate enough to have developed feelings for two clueless robots.

Bad Day:

I stopped with my hand on the door. I had come all this way on my day off and now I wasn't brave enough to push the doors open. Today had been a hard one. A nightmare the night before and some rough conversations had made my insides feel all squishy and tender. All I really wanted to do was lay on the floor and cry but something had brought me here, to the daycare.

Taking Time:

They needed a robotics expert and I needed a job. I had been between jobs. I had actually just been let go from my last job and was frantically looking for a new one when I had received an email from Faz Bear entertainment. They were looking for a robotics expert to run their parts and services lab. The pay was phenomenal but I would be the only one working in the lab and would be expected to keep the staff bots, animatronics, arcade games and all the automated systems in working order. I didn’t even hesitate a moment before I sent them a reply and agreed to an interview for the following day. Great pay and an entire lab to myself? Yes please.

Why is it Spicy?:

okay so... this is an AU of my Unpleasant Nightmare fic. I started this as a joke for myself but now we're here. The general idea is the same. Stuck in Security Breach and need to find a way out but Sun and Moon are extra flirty and handsy.

Out of Place:

Fosters and Green is an up and coming robotics company and is the talk of every news station in the world. They haven’t even released their first line of robots yet but people are already clambering to get their hands on a robot made from Foster and Green. They plan on releasing a few household bots that will work as cleaning staff or secretaries but they also plan on releasing a line of child care bots. Why hire a nanny when you can have a live-in one you don’t need to pay. My designated number is D-375, I have been dubbed Kate by the technicians who ran all of my quality assurance checks. My dreams of working with a family of my own were quickly dashed. Foster and Green decided that they wanted to place a bot somewhere in the public eye where people could watch it at work and so had partnered with another company who also made robots, though they specialized more in animatronics that were designed for entertainment. The two companies decided to put one Foster and Green’s N-90 models in the daycare center of Fazbear Entertainment’s PizzaPlex to work alongside the child care units that Fazbear Entertainment had created.

Taking Over:

They needed a robotics expert and I needed a job. I had been between jobs. I had actually just been let go from my last job and was frantically looking for a new one when I had received an email from Faz Bear entertainment. They were looking for a robotics expert to run their parts and services lab. The pay was phenomenal but I would be the only one working in the lab and would be expected to keep the staff bots, animatronics, arcade games and all the automated systems in working order. I didn’t even hesitate a moment before I sent them a reply and agreed to an interview for the following day. Great pay and an entire lab to myself? Yes please. I was hired on the spot. This wasn't surprising seeing as I had worked in robotics for most of my life and had some hands-on experience with these kinds of animatronics. The AI units that Faz Bear uses would be new to me but I was sure I could figure out the new tech quickly enough.

Unpleasant Nightmare:

My best friend talked me into coming with her as moral support to her little brother's birthday party. I hadn't wanted to go to that stupid birthday party to begin with and now I'm trapped in a computer game, a horror computer game that might kill me. I thought at the time that it was ironic that a kid named Greg had gone missing in a Chuck-e-Cheese of all places but this is taking things much too far.

Some of these won't be finished and some are OLD writing of mine. you have been warned. Please don't let that stop you from reading these and enjoying them <3

[djarins-cyare]

✨Questions Tag Game✨

Thanks for tagging me @burntheedges 🩵

Of course I’m going to add GIFs and images. Did anyone really expect me to post something without visual aids??

[photos are my own (apart from the one immediately below, which is from here), and unless otherwise credited, GIFs were made by me during office hours when I was supposed to be working… 🤫]

Do you make your own bed?

Not in terms of making it look all neat and tucked in, no. But that’s because I’m a teensy bit of a germaphobe, and humans naturally sweat at night, which means you must leave your mattress uncovered for a while after you get up to ensure it airs. So, for most of the day (because I forget to straighten it up), my bed just looks like this:

(Just for fun, how many Mandalorians can you spot in the pic?)

Favourite number?

It’s always been 2, and my reasoning used to be that all good things come in pairs. But having discovered my autism in recent years, I’ve come to realise it probably more likely represents the maximum number of people I’m most comfortable interacting with at any one time. So it’s a manageable number. It’s also an even number. And it’s a prime number (in fact it's the only even prime number). It’s a pretty number – it has a nice curved top and a solid, sturdy base. It stops 1 from being lonely, so it’s a kind number.

Is this a weird answer? All of these are really logical reasons to me!

[GIF found here]

What’s your job?

It’s become so specialised that I no longer have a job title, but I started as a legal PA for one of the senior partners at a Legal 500 law firm in London. I flirted with the idea of qualifying as a solicitor but realised there was no way in hell I’d be comfortable standing up in court and speaking in front of lots of people (and I work in the criminal law department so not keen on casually chatting to criminals either). Instead, I decided to become The Person Who Knows Everything.

So now I write briefs to Counsel, proofs of evidence, funding applications; I analyse evidence, conduct legal research, advise the solicitors on their cases; I train paralegals and admin staff; I do a load of data analysis and make pretty spreadsheets for the bosses; and I manage the firm’s IT needs because I can do computer stuff too. I’m basically their go-to girl for anything that seems complicated or time-consuming… and I don’t have to wear a stupid wig in court.

And the best part is, during Covid lockdown, I demonstrated I can do 100% of my job from home, so I was allowed to move 150 miles away, and I now only have to visit my office two days a month! 🙌🏻

Downside: the arduous and random nature of the job means I’m never up to date and always very tired.

If you could go back to school, would you?

My original plan after getting my undergrad degree was to do a Masters and PhD and become an academic, but I put all that on hold for my (now ex) husband so he could finish his PhD and first postdoc. I’m very glad I never went back, though, because I realise that academia is not the place for me… see above comment about not being able to stand up and talk in court to understand why standing up and talking in a lecture hall would be equally nerve-wracking for me. So, no, I’m content with my current level of schooling.

Honestly, university was more about learning how to ‘adult’ properly than obtaining any useful knowledge on the course anyway (she says, routinely using concepts learnt on her fiction writing modules when crafting Mando fics).

Can you parallel park?

Yup. Narrow roads and a lack of parking spaces in the UK kind of make it a non-optional skill here.

That said, I do sometimes see people desperately trying to line themselves up to get into a space and making an absolute farce out of it, so I guess maybe some people here think it’s optional, but I’d rather not have that kind of stress, so I practised until I could do it easily.

[original GIF found here and then cropped]

Do you think aliens are real?

The way this is phrased… do I think they’re real? Like, do I think the grey ones with big black eyes are anally probing residents in certain sections of North America on a regular basis? Hmm, no. Too many episodes of The X-Files. I mean, Fox Mulder: yum, but I really Don’t Want To Believe, thanks.

But, I remain open to the idea that alien life has evolved elsewhere in the known universe. It’s inconceivably huge, after all. There’s nowhere near enough data to prove (or even speculate) either way – just look at the Drake equation, which has been used to both ‘prove’ and ‘disprove’ the possibility – so I’ll reserve any kind of judgment until some real evidence appears.

Can you drive a manual car?

Yeah, of course. It’s the standard driving test in the UK and allows you to drive both automatic and manual – you actually have to specifically ask to learn only automatic if you decide you can’t handle gears. And, like, it’s all muscle memory, so it’s really not as hard as people think once you’re used to it. I tried to drive an automatic a few years back and found myself involuntarily shadow-shifting the gears!

[original GIF found here and then trimmed for length]

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Mostly, I don’t feel guilty about indulging in pleasures these days. I used to be really affected by social pressures (back before I discovered my autism and still felt like I had to ‘mask’ and fit in), so I used to feel guilty talking about my hyperfixations, but now I couldn’t care less. I shall consume them endlessly and unselfconsciously. It’s very liberating.

Any phobias?

I suppose the answer is sharks, which has no sensible basis for being a phobia because I’ve never had any real encounters to make me fearful (thank fuck!). In fact, I walked through the shark tunnel at SeaWorld just fine as a 7-year-old. Unless that planted some kind of seed of terror, I don’t know. Not sure when it really took hold, but I can’t even look at photos these days. It’s their damn teeth. Someone’s going to have to give me a tooth report on Gladiator II before I can go see it.

The hell if I’m gonna put a photo (or God forbid a GIF) of a shark here, so, umm…

Favourite childhood sport?

Two answers: (1) Football (AKA soccer). I played for a girl’s team when I was about 11, but it was only because the boy I liked was into football. I couldn’t give a shit about it these days, and I don’t think I ever really liked it – I was just ‘masking’, as I did for most of my childhood, but I convinced myself I loved it.

(2) Karate, which I decided all by myself that I fancied doing, then found I was actually quite good at it and excelled at it for a while. But I was 9, and they decided I was so good that I should go and join the adult class (age 14 and up), which I hated, so I quit.

[GIF is one I already had saved from Reddit a while ago, but I can't find the source anymore, so sorry for not crediting the maker]

Do you talk to yourself?

Sometimes, but not often. I live alone, so I occasionally just need to exercise my vocal cords lol. It also depends on what mood I’m in. On an average day, no, I don’t really feel the need to fill the silence, but if I’m excited/animated/annoyed in some way, I might say stuff aloud. Basically, if I’m inclined to utter curse words for any reason, I’ll probably use other words aloud too.

[GIF found here]

Tattoos?

I only have one right now, but I plan to increase that number someday. See photo below; I used to have chameleons as pets and got this tattooed near my right hip when I turned thirty to commemorate them. It’s really small.

I would like to get a phrase in Mando’a inked on me somewhere, probably “Kaysh meg miit’gaana, oyacyi”, which means “she* who writes, remains” [*substitute chosen pronoun – Mando’a doesn’t distinguish genders], and is a Mandalorian proverb teaching that you can live forever if you leave behind written words. I have it engraved on my iPad.

Favourite colour?

Very much the blue (with a hint of green) end of the colour spectrum. For something soft, duck egg blue, or for something bold, teal. See the colour of the titles in this post.

I also like the colours of hyperspace and would happily snuggle up with Din in the cockpit.

Do you like puzzles?

Yeah, I guess. I don’t dislike them. But I don’t really do them much. In terms of the crossword/sodoku/brain teaser sort, I might choose to do them in specific settings, like on vacation when I inevitably need to offer my brain something different than whatever book I’m binge-reading.

In terms of the jigsaw type, I have short phases of thinking, “Ooh, that’ll be fun!”, trying to do one, getting bored, and then forcing myself to finish. Last time that happened was Covid lockdown. Took me a year! Though, to be fair, it was one of these bastards…

Okay, I’m done. I realise I’m very late to the party, and a lot of people have already done this one, so sorry if you’ve already participated. No pressure (and no need to illustrate with gifs and images, I just can’t help myself)… 🩵

@604to647 @beefrobeefcal @d4rm4nd4 @feral-ferrule @gracieheartspedro

@joelslegalwhre @littlemisspascal @magpiepills @penvisions @quicksilvermad

@secretelephanttattoo @studioghibelli @syd-djarin @the-mandawhor1an @zaddymandalorian

[a-random-pillow]

One more time(Forever)

Paring: Cody/Roman

Characters: Roman Regins, Cody Rhodes, Jimmy Uso

Rating: Gen

Tags: hurt no comfort, longing/pinning, canonical injury, minimal editing

No one actually tells Roman that Cody got attacked. He hears it through mutterings and whispers of staff members as he walks backstage with Jimmy. Any good mood had been in from their victory and Jimmy’s return had been destroyed by Dwayne’s return.

He doesn’t know what he wants… probably revenge, and the belt but Roman can’t get rid of the feeling that he’s missing something. Then he hears that Cody got attacked and his mind goes to the worst-case scenario.

His stomach twists into knots as he hears mutterings of indefinite time off, local medical facilities and online records. He looks it up with shaking hands, he has to re-type multiple times but eventually, he gets there.

Roman doesn’t know why he is freaking out, he and Cody are done. It was a fun couple of weeks but the match contract they signed is over. Roman frowns, he shouldn’t care about Cody but as he watches the videos of Kevin attacking him all Roman wants is to race down and save him.

“We’re gonna go find him?” Asks Jimmy, somehow knowing exactly what Roman was thinking.

Roman doesn’t say anything, he has no good reason to help Cody again. Fuck, it would probably be better for Roman if Cody was injured, easier to take back his title. Despite knowing that this wasn’t a good idea Roman nods and he and Jimmy head off towards the parking garage.

“How was it with him?” Asks Jimmy as they walk.

“Hm?”

“Cody Y’know… was it fun? Was he easy to work with? Did you learn anything?”

Roman frowns, he and Cody don’t spend long strategizing. They were both busy and there was always a lot of tension between them… Roman did learn that Cody had a knack for strategy(not as good as Seth, no one was as good as Seth). Cody talked realism, he remembers sitting around an empty locker room and hearing Cody ramble about the match and all the possibilities,

“We won’t have backup, Randy and Kevin hate you so if the Tongans come out we have to deal with them on our own.”

“We haven’t seen much of Fatu in the ring, he’s unpredictable but either of us could beat Solo any day.”

“We both know how to tag, the better question is if we know how to tag with each other.”

In those moments they didn’t feel like reluctant allies, it was like they were actually friends. Like they cared, like they wanted the other to succeed, like they loved each other. When Roman had nothing and no one, he had Cody. It meant a lot to have another person to fill the silence and make the world seem less lonely even if they didn’t like each other.

“He’s got a brain under all that blond” Is all Roman can say, he doesn’t want to lie but he doesn’t know the truth. He doesn’t know how to say all the things he’s thinking and feeling.

Jimmy nods, looking at him differently like Roman had just revealed a secret that changed everything. It was a little off-putting but he could ask Jimmy later.

“He’ll be okay, uce, we got him.”

Roman doesn’t know why but that makes him feel better and makes the anxiety spiral spin a little slower.

They arrive at the parking lot to find a bunch of staff members ushering the yelling fans out but they don’t see Cody or a medical team.

Roman feels his worry spike as he scans the garage for any signs of Cody or Kevin but there’s nothing. Out of pure instinct he ruffly grabs a random crew member demanding.

“Where is Cody?”

The crew member, a young guy looks terrified as he stutters out.

“M-Medical! They're just checking on him sir, they think he fine.”

Roman throws the man away as soon as he hears where Cody is. He doesn’t care, his brain is stuck on one track.

Roman marches over the training room, he doesn’t bother to ask the attendants where Cody is. He just throws open the door to the recovery hall and walks down glancing into every bed to see if it’s Cody.

Drew is sleeping in a bed, a bunch of monitors attached to him and bandages are wrapped around his head. Roman doesn’t care about him.

Dominick is lying in a bed his ankle in a brace and elevated. Liv is sitting on the chair beside his bed, showing Dom something on his phone. Roman doesn’t care about them.

Finn Balor is sitting in a bed, talking to a doctor with a stormy expression on his face. Roman doesn’t care about him.

Finally, he finds Cody, he’s laid up in a bed and he has monitoring equipment attached to him. The beeps are steady, safe and healthy, which makes Roman feel a bit better.

Cody’s expression is blank, he stares ahead but Roman doesn’t think he’s seeing anything. His blue eyes are blank, like ice covered in a thin layer of snow.

“Cody!” Yells Roman, trying to get the other man’s attention.

Cody flinchs turning to look at him, but his expression falls as soon as they make eye contact.

“Why are you here?”

Roman looks over his expression, noticing the tear tracks marking the man’s cheeks.

“I heard you got attacked,” says Roman as he watches Cody, the worry in his gut doesn’t lessen now that he can see Cody. No, it gets worse. Cody is hurting, not just physically from the match and the attack but from the betrayal. He wants to hurt Kevin, but the impulse is sudden and overwhelming.

“I got attacked because of you,” Says Cody his tone is cold but his voice shakes.

Roman doesn’t know what to say, he understands why Kevin hates him but he doesn’t understand why that means Cody needs to be hurt.

“He asked if I was a part of the bloodline. How I could be friends with you. And now here you are checking on me? What the hell is going on? What the hell am I doing?”

Cody’s words speed up, his eyes becoming crazed as he asks or maybe demands.

“Why are you here? Why did you save me?”

Because I love you, because you trusted me, because when I had nothing I had you. Because it killed me to see you hurt.

Roman wants to tell Cody, he wants to let Cody know that Roman wants him but Cody just lost Kevin because of him. It won’t go over well, he won’t get the reaction he wants. So he lies,

“I saved you because you helped me and I came to check on you because I thought Dwayne attacked you”

Cody huffs, deflating a little as he leans into the pillows at his back.

“Just leave me alone”

Roman wants to stay and take care of him and he might have but Jimmy is grabbing his wrist and guiding him out of the room. Deep down he knows it best to leave Cody alone so no matter how much it pains him he follows Jimmy. He leaves Cody alone.

[thisapplepielife]

Secret Santa

Written for the Second Annual Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge hosted by @thefreakandthehair.

Prompt: Office Party | Word Count: 6025 | Rating: E | CW: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ Only | Tags: Steddie, Steve POV, The Office AU, Office Setting, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Bathroom Sex, Mutual Assisted Masturbation, Holiday Party, Secret Santa, Background Jancy, Secret Relationship, Platonic Stobin, Platonic Hellcheer, Eddie & Gareth Friendship

Can also be read right here on Ao3.

This definitely has vibes borrowed from The Office. If you're familiar with that, you can picture Steve's desk as in the same location as Jim's.

Steve slumps behind his computer monitor at his desk, trying to make himself as small as possible. It's days like today that he really wishes their office had private cubicles instead of an open floor plan, because that'd actually give him somewhere to hide. As it is, with all of them out in the open, it means he's a sitting duck. No flimsy temporary wall to crouch down behind, no nothing at all between him and the horror that is lurking on the other side of the room.

And right now, he really wants somewhere to hide. But unless he wants to crawl under his desk, the room really doesn't offer much protection.

Honestly, he usually doesn't mind their setup at all. He likes the openness of it. He likes to see his coworkers all day. His friends. He likes to be able to talk, and yeah, to avoid work. He's nosy. He wants to see what insanity everyone else is up to every day. That always gives Robin and him things to gossip about later, and that's one of their favorite pastimes. He can look over at Robin behind the receptionist desk, and they can have long conversations with each other, using just their eyes. 

They can talk about a cute new girl (or guy, if Steve's the one looking) that's been hired. They can bitch about stupid policy changes. Or a co-worker being a fool. Anything, everything.

But not today. 

Today, Steve scoots down further in his chair, hoping that maybe he can make himself totally invisible, if he just wishes for it hard enough. 

Because right this minute, Nancy's on the party planning warpath, and he wants no part of it. Party planning isn't anything he's ever been good at, well, beyond hosting a few laidback keggers as a teen, he supposes. Those all went as expected. But office parties? No way. That fact should be obvious to all of them after they forced him onto the party planning committee back in August, and his choices just made them all clutch their pearls. 

Steve didn't know that even though there's a full list of silly, made-up holidays to choose from each month, apparently not all of those days are actually on the Nancy-approved list. Steve definitely didn't know that was an unspoken rule for the monthly morale party, so for August, he picked Work Like a Dog day, and convinced half of the office to show up in dog costumes. 

Nancy Wheeler didn't find it funny. At all.

That's okay, Steve thinks it was hilarious. 

If it wasn't actually an option for a party theme, then they shouldn't have put it on the goddamn list. 

And what the fuck does it matter, anyway? Honestly. The monthly staff party is just an excuse to have cake, punch, and thirty minutes longer for lunch. Nobody really wants to attend these office parties, anyway. Might as well make them a little more unpredictable, a little more fun.

The theme can't possibly matter. It's all bullshit. 

But now, here they are in December, and this is the annual holiday party they're talking about. Not a random monthly party. Oh no, this is the big one. The one that takes place after hours. 

And to Nancy, and the rest of the party planning committee, it matters. 

A lot.

So, Steve's hiding. Like a coward.

"You're such a coward," Steve hears from across his desk, a low, taunting hiss pointed in his direction. 

He doesn't look in the direction of the voice, because he's smart enough to not fuck this up with any sudden movements. He's aiming for invisible, after all, but he can't resist slowly raising his hand, flipping Eddie off in slow motion. 

Eddie laughs, so Steve knows the message landed, loud and clear, even if Steve never looked in his direction.

Fuck him for reading Steve's mind. Of course he's being a coward, but there's no reason to announce that fact. That's just rude.

Steve and Eddie share space, in their little group of desks. Steve sits on the end, and then there's two desks facing each other in front of him. Eddie is to his right, and it's really not so bad. Steve's had some weird fucking deskmates over the years, so much so, that having Eddie Munson at his side has been a breath of fresh air in comparison. A relief, even. Eddie's just loud, and messy.

Steve can handle loud and messy, even if Eddie's shit is apt to spill over onto Steve's desk most days, crowding him out of his own space. Steve can hold his client binder on his lap. That's no problem. Hell, he doesn't even get all that mad when Eddie gets too loud and gets them both disapproving looks. At least it's always fun while it's happening.

Gareth sits on the left, right across from Eddie, and right now he's slid down so far in his chair that he's practically under their desks, just like Steve. Smart kid, he's learning. 

Steve dares to glance over and see what's happening across the room. 

Nancy is leaning over Jonathan's desk, and Argyle is making faces behind her back. Nancy has eyes in the back of her head, so she definitely knows he's doing it, and Argyle is just asking for trouble. He's gonna get put on the party planning committee if he isn't careful. Which, Steve supposes, is a way better outcome than him getting recruited.

Nancy has her hand resting on Jonathan's shoulder as she talks to him, ignoring Argyle completely.

Steve isn't supposed to know that Jonathan and Nancy have been sneaking around the office, fucking in all the secluded corners of the warehouse, with far less stealth than they think they have. He doesn't blame them. He knows they don't want to go to HR and fill out the paperwork informing the company about their relationship.

Steve gets that. Because he also feels like it's none of the company's business who he fucks on his own time, and definitely wouldn't volunteer that information up willingly, either. None of them ever want to go deal with Murray for anything at all if they can help it. He asks far too many personal questions. It's always uncomfortable, and best to be avoided at all costs.

However, Steve thinks it's mighty funny that Nancy Wheeler, the rule-follower that she likes to pretend she is, is currently breaking them left and right. It honestly makes him like her even more.

And he does like her. Don't get him wrong, just not on party planning weeks. During those weeks, she's the enemy and must be wholly treated as such.

"Steve," Steve hears his name, a hushed whisper, and he turns to look at Robin sitting behind the reception desk.

He waves her off with a small hand movement. He needs to make sure Nancy has settled on haranguing Jonathan and Argyle before he dares to stick his neck out in the open.

Before Steve can say anything back to Robin, The Boss comes out of his office behind Steve's back, clapping his hands together for attention, and they all turn to look in his direction.

Bob Newby is kind of a goofball, and just a little bit doofy, but he's well-meaning. At least Steve's pretty sure he is. He doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. As far as bosses go, they could all do way worse.

"Hey there," Bob says, clapping his hands together again, "I told Nancy to make the holiday party this year a big one. A fun one. A special one. And to do that, Steve's gonna help her. Right, Steve?"

Well, Steve wants to strangle Bob, now. Well-meaning, his ass. He's not only mean, he's evil. He's a filthy traitor that Steve would feed to wolves given half a chance after this utter betrayal.

But Steve nods, because he's not actually gonna tell Bob no. It's not worth the pitiful face he'll get in return. Eddie is laughing, and if Steve gets the angle right, he's pretty sure he can kick Eddie in the shin under their desks without even looking.

He hits the mark and Eddie hisses at the blow, and Steve bites back a smile. Eddie had that coming, the asshole.

Then Steve has a better idea, a meaner idea, and he sits up straighter in his chair, and turns and looks right at Eddie, pointedly, "Yeah, and Eddie offered to help me!"

If looks could kill, he'd be dead, but Eddie gets what he deserves. If he wants to be a jerk, he can just help Steve out with planning this shitshow. 

Bob is pleased at this though, and announces, "Great! Just don't pick anything scary, guys. I hate scary." 

Steve grins, wide. That's a directive for Eddie, not him, and it amuses Steve greatly. 

"Got it. Yeti and Krampus are out," Eddie says, with fake sincerity. 

Chrissy squeals with delight that they are both actually willing to help with this party. Willing is definitely a stretch of the imagination, but Steve and Eddie both smile at her. She's sweet, and Steve knows Eddie will do anything she asks him to, because he's that wrapped around her little finger.

That's okay, Steve's just as wrapped around Robin's, if not more, so he can't really throw any stones in Eddie's direction about that.

Steve nods, and gives Chrissy a tight smile. They'll make this work. It looks like they have to, since they definitely lost this round of office politics.

Nancy is glaring in their direction, suspicious, "Well, fine. We'll just have to plan for every possible disaster with you two in charge."

"Hey! The dog party was a barking success," Steve yells at her, and she huffs and spins around away from him. Annoyed. 

He smiles, and looks over at Eddie, and he's smiling back. 

Maybe this won't be the end of the world after all.

Later, after the dust has settled, Steve leans on Robin's desk, looking down at her, disapproving. He's eating his lunch standing up at her desk, both of them sharing what they have, passing things back and forth. 

Looking across the office, Steve can see into the break room, and Eddie is sitting at the closest table to the windows with Chrissy, both of them digging around in his metal lunchbox. They can leave for lunch, and sometimes they do, but most of the time they all just pack lunches and hang around. Sometimes, they'll all chip in and do a group order, running out to pick up burgers or pizza, but that takes advance planning, and that isn't exactly Steve's strong suit. 

Eddie is digging around in his lunchbox, and Steve wonders what Eddie has packed in there today, pretzels, maybe a sand-

"Focus, dingus. I tried to warn you," Robin hisses, and his attention is drawn away from Eddie and his mystery lunch, when Robin taps her hand on the counter in front of him.

Steve turns to look back at her, glaring. She's his best friend, but right now, she's definitely the enemy as Bob's secretary. She could have stopped this if she'd wanted to, he's absolutely sure of it.

"You're on the party planning committee," he accuses, "and you have Bob's ear. Why didn't you make this go away for me?" 

She wrings her hands, "I tried! Bob liked your dog party!"

Well, Steve has to laugh at that. That's what he gets for being smartass, he supposes. He tried to poke Nancy with a stick so he'd never have to have a turn at party planning ever again, and inadvertently just ended up coming across as a fun party planner to Bob. 

Goddamnit. That was not the desired effect he'd been hoping for.

So, now he's stuck. And this is his own fault, it seems. But at least he took Eddie down with him. That's the silver-lining, for sure.

Steve will make it work. It's only a week of hell. He can survive a week.

"Trust me, we tried. None of us wanted you in charge again," Robin snaps.

"Hey!" Steve shouts back, offended, and she just laughs. 

"Seriously. Nancy has standards, expectations, and dog parties aren't part of the playbook."

Steve smiles, "Well, I guess I should be left off any committees from now on."

"No such luck," Robin snarks, "but Nancy, Chrissy, Barb and I will definitely make sure whatever you two try to plan isn't dog party levels of weird."

"Gee, thanks. If you want to micromanage it, why don't you just do it yourselves? Wouldn't that just be easier for everyone involved?"

Robin shrugs, "Just make Bob happy. It's Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah," and Steve glances back, looking for Eddie again, and now he's sitting there playing finger football with Gareth as Chrissy watches. Both of them flicking a paper triangle back and forth across the break room table, trying to hit field goals through each other's finger goal posts. 

That's about the extent of any sports that either one of them has ever played, Steve's pretty damn sure.

Gareth, the new kid, started a while back, and Eddie took to him immediately. Steve has tried not to be jealous. But it was hard. He still kind of wanted Eddie and his attention all to himself, as selfish as that sounds.

But he's had to learn to share, both Eddie and their desk space with Gareth, and he's watched as Eddie has tried hard to shape Gareth into a good salesman. 

Robin's desk phone rings, and she picks it up, and he takes that as his cue to walk away. He heads towards the break room, and leans in the doorway, watching them play.

"I've got winner," Chrissy says, "but you can take on the winner of that match, if you want."

Steve nods and smiles, and walks on in, sliding into the only remaining chair left at the table.

When four-thirty rolls around, Bob comes over and sends Steve and Eddie off to start planning this party they are now in charge of together. At least they get a half-hour of paid nonsense time, Steve guesses.

So, now they sit in the empty meeting room at the long table, and just look at each other.

Finally, Eddie breaks the silence.

"Okay, smart guy, what's your big plan this time? Cat party?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow, challenging Steve.

"Yep. Pussy party," Steve says, deadpan, and Eddie tosses his head back and laughs, hair flying. 

Work has definitely been more entertaining since Eddie Munson showed up last year, all long-hair and lackadaisical attitude. Eddie doesn't conform to any sort of standard expectations, won't, but he can sell like a motherfucker. He has a silvertongue that Steve only wishes he possessed. Steve can sell, too. But he has to lean heavily on being earnest. That's his angle. 

But it's not Eddie's. No, Eddie can just bullshit his way through sales with anyone on the fly, easily meeting his quota and walking away with a damn good commission check every payday, and that hardly seems fair. Steve's been here forever, but Eddie took to it so much quicker.

"Pussy hats for everyone, and the party favors? Pocket pussies," Eddie states, still exploring this party idea with a shit-eating grin, and it makes Steve giggle.

If only. 

Though, this still might be fun to plan together, even if that can't actually be the theme. Nancy would murder them both.

They better do something safe, like Secret Santa. Bob always likes that, and this is really for him more than it is the staff, Steve's pretty damn sure.

They can just go traditional, make everyone happy and save themselves a lot of grief. 

That doesn't mean they won't sit here and bullshit, like they are really talking this thing through in great detail.

"Secret Santa? That's the theme?" Robin asks later, clearly disappointed.

"Classic. Easy peasy," Steve says, leaning on the tall counter that runs around her desk. He's waiting for her to finish up so they can leave together. 

Tonight, they're all going to happy hour at Chili's. They do that from time to time. Most of the office meeting up after work to drink and let loose.

"Lazy, uninspired," she taunts, and he reaches out like he's going to flick her ear, but she dodges his hand, laughing. "Bob's gonna be disappointed in you."

"He won't. He'll love it," Steve says, and Robin knows it. She's just being difficult. "Will you make up the slips so we can draw names, or not?" he asks, trying to give her the eyes. They don't really work on her, not anymore. But he still tries.

"Fine, but this is not fun. I was expecting dog party levels of unhinged theming from you both. You disappoint me."

"You love me," Steve counters.

"Of course I do, dingus. Now leave me alone so I can finish up and we can get the fuck out of here."

He presses his hands together, bowing to her, just a little, and then heads back to his desk. Eddie is still on the phone, wheeling and dealing, like a pro. 

Making money, even after hours. 

Asshole. 

Gareth is sitting at their desks, watching Eddie with wide eyes. 

"He's good, right?" Steve asks, and Gareth nods. "It's okay if it's hard to make sales, especially at first. It's hard for all of us, except Eddie. But he's a freak."

Eddie hears him, and sticks his tongue out, not missing a beat of his phone call.

"You'll get better. I promise," Steve says, turning to look at Gareth.

Gareth nods again, and Steve smiles. Steve was probably not that much younger than him when he started working here, and it looks so young now, seeing it on Gareth. He never thought he'd still be here, all these years later. 

But he's made friends here, good friends. His best friend. If he never worked here, he'd never have met Robin, and that'd be a goddamn tragedy. 

And he met Eddie, so honestly, he doesn't have too many complaints.

Turns out, Nancy loves the Secret Santa theme, which Steve isn't surprised about. It's right up her alley. Normal, basic, a classic. No dog costumes to be found.

"What's the price limit?" she asks, holding her notepad in hand, and Steve looks at her. Is he supposed to decide that? He feels like that's a job for her, or maybe even Bob.

"Twenty-five dollars?" he offers, and she thinks about it for a minute, then nods, writing it in her notes, apparently agreeing with his assessment. 

Great.

"And, is it a traditional Secret Santa where we draw names, or a white elephant situation?"

"Um, traditional?" he hazards a guess and she nods, happy. Apparently that was the right answer, again. He's on a roll today. Hot damn. Maybe he needs to buy a lottery ticket.

Steve sits at the high top table at Chili's, sharing an Awesome Blossom with Robin and drinking his third margarita. Eddie didn't show up. Steve is pretty sure he said he was coming, but now Eddie, Gareth, Chrissy, Jeff and Goodie are all no-shows. 

That's okay. 

But he would have gone home instead of coming himself if he knew Eddie was bailing. Not that he isn't enjoying spending time with Robin and everyone else, he is, but still. 

He raises his finger, ordering one more drink. Robin's definitely gonna have to drive him home. 

The next morning, Nancy drops off a list of party vendors for him to call, and Steve pushes it towards Eddie. He's the one with phone magic.

And Steve's a little hungover. Eddie's not. 

Not to mention Steve's still a little mad at Eddie for deciding to skip happy hour without telling him. 

"Hey, don't be pushing your chores off on me," Eddie says, pushing it back across the desk in Steve's direction.

They both push on the paper, in a stalemate, wrinkling it under their fingers.

Steve gives him the eyes, "C'mon. You know you'll have better luck. We'll get an awesome cake, and a great meat and cheese plate if you call. You know it."

"Which is ironic, because if the little old ladies working could see me, and then see you, it'd be you they'd be falling over themselves to please," Eddie says.

Steve rolls his eyes. Little old ladies love Eddie, at least after they look past his clothes and hair. He's too charming for them to not love him. He's got a chivalry that is innate, and Steve doesn't have that at all. He likes to think he's nice, but he's not as charismatic. The Harrington Charm is a different beast than whatever Eddie has going on, that's for damn sure.

Eventually, Eddie takes the paper, and picks up the handset of his phone, and starts dialing the first number, and Steve just grins, pleased.

He listens, and tries to ignore the dull headache that's plagued him all morning.

When Eddie hangs up the phone, he looks at Steve, "Shoulda came to Poor Richard's with us, like you said you would, and then you wouldn't have a hangover from all that chain restaurant cheap well tequila."

Steve glowers at him. They've been over this fifty times. Nobody said they were going to Poor Richard's last night. It was Chili's, and the fact that everyone else showed up at Chili's except for Eddie and his friends, is all the proof Steve needs.

Eddie didn't listen, and they ended up at different bars. 

But Steve forgives him as he keeps making calls, and before long they have everything in order for next week's party.

And a week later, they all sit around in a circle of chairs like they're kindergarteners, which feels foolish. But Bob is clearly having fun, dressed in his full Santa suit, as he pulls the wrapped packages out of the bag and passes them around to their rightful owners.

It's fine. Lots of generic gift boxes. Hot cocoa samplers. Summer sausage and cheese gift sets. Blankets, mugs, candy. A foot bath. Just stuff. More things that nobody really needed, Steve's sure, but it makes Bob happy, so they all at least pretend to be excited about whatever they've gotten.

They all thank their Secret Santa, and it's all very normal. Boring. So boring. 

But Steve has a plan for later that he thinks won't be quite as boring as this has been.

The gifts all opened, Steve holds open the plastic trash bag as Eddie picks up the wrapping paper off the chairs, the floor. Tidying up while the rest of the committee goes and starts getting the bar set up.

Steve isn't sure how Bob swung it, but they actually get to serve alcohol this year. 

Jeff and Goodie volunteered to play bartender, and that's great with Steve. He was sure he'd get stuck doing it, with Eddie's help if he was lucky. But this is better. Way better. They'll be able to just enjoy themselves.

As soon as it's up and running, Steve and Eddie are first in line for a drink. Steve goes easy on them, but Eddie's trying to order things they definitely don't have the supplies for. The budget was limited and they decided to stick to the most popular basics. 

Goodie listens to Eddie lists off his third try at an elaborate drink order, and then just pours Eddie a Jack and Coke.

"Just what I wanted," Eddie says, picking it up with a snarky grin.

They're a few drinks in, and the music has been turned up, when Steve nods towards Eddie, ready to slip away during the confusion. Steve shakes a wrapped gift in his hand, and Eddie quirks an eyebrow, curious, and follows him out into the hallway. They ride the elevator up one floor in silence, and then Steve leads Eddie into the empty bathroom on the floor right above their office space.

They can hear the thumpa thumpa of the music down below, feel it vibrating beneath their feet. Gareth and Argyle have teamed up to play DJ, and Steve is sure Nancy hates the music choices. They definitely aren't playing classic Christmas tunes, that's for damn sure.

Steve pushes the wrapped gift into Eddie's chest, and Eddie sits his drink down on the sink.

"What is this?" Eddie asks, looking down at the gift in his hands. He wasn't expecting it, clearly.

"Well, I didn't draw your name for the official Secret Santa, but I still wanted you to have your party favor," Steve says, trying to keep a straight face. This is a ridiculous thing to do. Especially at work. "Open it."

He watches while Eddie tears off the wrapping paper, throwing it onto the bathroom floor, and then Eddie's looking down at the fleshlight he's holding in his hands. 

And he promptly blushes a deep crimson.

Holy shit. 

Steve had no idea that Eddie could blush. Maybe this wasn't a great idea. Maybe he's about to lose his job for sexual harassment at work. At Christmas, no less.

Then, Eddie laughs. Loud and amused, eyes lighting up.

"Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess," Eddie says, turning over the toy in his hands, walking into the open stall. Steve follows.

"Not a sex toy guy?" Steve asks, crowding a little closer to him.

"Not a pussy guy," Eddie answers, then laughs, "I thought you knew that, Steve."

Yeah, Steve knew that. But he pretends he didn't.

"Oh no, do they make pocket assholes? Maybe we could exchange it, get you what you really like," Steve teases.

And Eddie grins, dimples showing, as he presses the toy back into Steve's chest, and Steve takes it. 

"This one is just my favorite, and I thought you might like it," Steve says, looking Eddie right in the eye, standing nearly nose-to-nose in the cramped bathroom stall. 

And Eddie is looking back at him, with an expression Steve can't really read. It looks like he's maybe surprised Steve is cool. Which is crazy. Steve's cool. Steve's been fucking guys since he was in college, girls even earlier than that. He's not really all that fussed about it. Boys, girls, both at the same time, once. 

That was an interesting night, to be sure. Not one he expects to repeat anytime soon, but it's definitely an experience he's glad he had. 

Steve holds the toy in his hand, studying it carefully, and then he looks up into Eddie's eyes. 

"You wanna try it?" Steve asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Now?" Eddie asks, dropping his voice low, sounding shocked at this suggestion. 

Steve shrugs, and Eddie eventually nods, slowly. 

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that," Eddie says, putting both of his hands on Steve's arms, squeezing.

"Are you sure you want to do this here? I was just kidding," Steve asks, even if he wasn't, not really. But he still wants to make sure this is something Eddie is actually interested in doing with him, here and now, and not something he's pushing onto him like a big, fucking creep.

Eddie nods and smiles, so Steve presses him back against the wall of the bathroom stall, Steve's palm firm on Eddie's shoulder. He hands the fleshlight back to Eddie, and digs a packet of lube out of his pocket, handing that over, too.

Steve reaches for Eddie belt, his zipper, and carefully, slowly, undoes his pants. Pulling them down over his ass, boxers going down with them, and then he's just looking. Staring. Wanting.

Eddie's already drizzled lube into the opening of the fake silicone pussy, so Steve takes it from him. Steve doesn't touch Eddie's dick, although it's straining, red and flushed at the tip, begging for Steve's undivided attention.

And as much as Steve wants to give it that attention, wants to drop to his knees, throw the toy aside and suck Eddie's dick, he doesn't.

Instead, Steve grips the pocket pussy in his hand, and angles it, lining it up as best he can. He nods at Eddie, and holds it steady as Eddie pushes into it. Unsure at first, but after a few test thrusts, Steve feels the pressure, the force, behind the snap of Eddie's hips with every thrust. And Steve thinks about what it'd be like if it was him Eddie was pushing his dick into, instead of this toy.

His own dick is hard, so fucking hard, just watching this happen. He can't tear his eyes away. He watches Eddie's dick go in and out.

Eddie groans, leaning forward and resting his forehead on Steve's shoulder, still moving his hips. Still fucking, still pushing his cock into the toy in Steve's hand. Again, and again. 

Steve can't see now, but he can feel it. Can hear it.

It's noisy and loud, making a filthy, wet, squelching sound that sounds even more scandalous as they're hidden away in a public bathroom. Like they might get caught any second, doing this devious thing together.

Eddie winds his arms around Steve's back, and holds on tight. The action brings them even closer together, which is making it harder for Steve to maneuver his hand and the toy between their bodies, but Steve will make it work. He keeps a good grip on the fleshlight, making sure Eddie can keep moving his hips, keep pushing his dick into it, over and over again, even as he leans his weight on Steve.

"That pussy feel good?" Steve whispers, pressing his face into Eddie's hair. He smells good, and Steve leans into him.

Eddie whimpers, and nods against Steve's shirt, and Steve twists his hand, just a little, and Eddie moans. 

"All pretty and pink, wet, begging for your cock," Steve whispers. "It's a pretty cock, you've got. You know that?"

He just yammering, and he's pretty sure Eddie isn't even listening. That's okay, Steve's happy to do the heavy lifting here. 

"I bet it feels good. All tight, hugging your dick the whole way down.. Are you pretending it's a girl?" Steve asks, then lowers his voice, right next to Eddie's ear, "Or are you pretending it's me?"

Eddie's hips stutter, and then he pushes harder against Steve's hand.

"Steve," Eddie breathes out, and Steve smiles.

"I'd bend right over for you," Steve says, "beg you to push your cock in me."

Steve can tell by the change in Eddie's breathing that he's getting close to coming. Goddamn. That's a pretty sight and sound.

Steve's own dick is straining in his pants, wanting.

"Would you come inside me?" Steve asks, and that's it. Eddie groans, and pushes his dick into the toy as far as he can, coming. Steve presses his face in Eddie's hair, kissing the side of his head.

Eddie pulls back from Steve's body, and then slides his dick out of the toy with a sloppy, wet sound, and they both laugh. Steve looks down at Eddie's heavy cock, spent and wet, and wants. Wants to put his mouth on Eddie, wants to lick him clean.

He thinks he will, but Eddie interrupts his thoughts.

"You want sloppy seconds?" Eddie asks, and Steve nearly comes in his pants as he nods. 

That's not something he had thought of, but he hands the toy to Eddie, and reaches for his own zipper. He pulls his neglected dick out, palms it, strokes it. It's so hard. Eddie's made him so fucking hard, so horny, he can't even think straight.

"Look at you, big boy," Eddie says, and he doesn't keep his hands to himself. He strokes Steve once, twice, and then helps guide him into the used toy.

It's still kind of warm inside, sloppy and wet with Eddie's come, and Steve feels like a deviant, but doesn't really give a fuck. Not really.

Because this is good.

So goddamn good.

Eddie presses his mouth to Steve's, and they kiss while Steve thrusts into the toy in Eddie's hand, and it's one of the dirtiest things he's ever done in his whole life.

Steve's just getting into a nice rhythm, when Eddie takes the toy away, and replaces it with his mouth. Goddamn, that's better. That's so much better.

Eddie pulls off, and looks up at him, "You taste like me."

Steve groans, letting his head fall back against the metal wall of the stall, closing his eyes as Eddie sucks his dick, then slides it back into the fleshlight, alternating. Dragging this out, extending it, and it's beyond anything he could have ever dreamed up.

He had a small idea, a basic one, and Eddie has taken that and crafted it into a fucking experience of a lifetime.

Steve tangles his hands in Eddie's hair, and looks down to meet Eddie's eyes, as he continues to work his cock, over and over. 

"You gonna come in my mouth or in the pussy?" Eddie asks, hand stroking Steve's dick lazily, looking up at him for an answer. He wants both. How can he choose?

But if he doesn't choose, he's gonna come in Eddie's hand. Still good, but a distant third among the options available. 

"Your mouth," Steve finally says.

"Good choice, Harrington," Eddie answers, and slides his mouth over Steve's dick again, and again, until Steve can't hold out any longer. 

He comes right against Eddie tongue, and Eddie pulls off, looks up at him, and swallows.

Merry Fucking Christmas to him. Jesus.

They straighten their clothes, try to smooth out all the wrinkles, and Eddie takes a gulp of his now watered down whiskey sitting on the bathroom counter, swishing it in his mouth, and spitting into the sink.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Steve asks, holding the wet and freshly washed fleshlight in his hand.

"Take it home. Use it later and think of me," Eddie says, holding out the box Steve had wrapped it in. 

Steve puts it back, and takes the box from Eddie's hands.

He'll do just that.

Eddie pushes him against the bathroom door, and kisses him again, and this is the best night of Steve's life, he's pretty goddamn sure.

They ride the elevator down, and when they're back in their own office, Steve shoves the now unwrapped box into his desk drawer and follows Eddie back towards the rest of their partying co-workers.

Their friends.

Eddie starts bouncing on his feet, dancing with Chrissy and Steve smiles as he watches. Everybody seems to be having fun, and Steve decides this was a success. 

Later that night, long after the party had winded down, Steve crawls into bed at home, and curls into Eddie's side.

"Have fun tonight?" Steve asks, and Eddie runs his hand up and down Steve's arm.

"Yeah, I especially liked the part where my boyfriend acted like we've never fucked before," Eddie says, throwing his leg over Steve's hip. 

"Very funny."

Eddie laughs, "We're gonna have to file our relationship with HR sooner or later. I'm pretty sure my poker face is horrendous, and they're gonna figure it out."

Steve nods. He knows. Though, he's pretty fucking everyone in the office knows already, anyway. Gareth clocked them his first week, not realizing it was a secret. So, it's obvious. Eddie loves him, and Eddie can't hide that look on his face, not at all. It makes Steve so fucking happy that Eddie feels that way about him, like he loves him so much that he can't pretend he doesn't. 

That they love each other this much.

So, they're gonna have to fess up. That's okay, he doesn't actually give a shit. They aren't gonna fire him, and they definitely aren't gonna fire Eddie. He's unorthodox, but he brings in tons of cash and clients.

And they're just co-workers, there's nothing saying they can't be together. 

"I can't believe you wrapped your pocket pussy and dragged it to work," Eddie laughs, burying his nose in Steve's hair.

Steve grins.

"Surprised you, though?" Steve asks, turning his head, to smile at Eddie.

"Definitely surprised me," Eddie answers, grinning right back.

Notes: Nancy seem familiar? Yeah, she was definitely inspired by Angela from The Office, with that party planning committee vibe, lol. I needed someone to be that character, and Nancy seemed more likely than Robin or Chrissy. And the "prepare for every possible disaster" line is a Angela-ism, from the S2 ep, as told by Ryan. I like to think Dwight, or a Dwight-like character, was Steve's deskmate before Eddie.

And Nancy and Jonathan's whole secret (Dwight and Angela style) relationship random mention was added just so I could accurately tag secret relationship, but that it might slip past that I was also referring to Steve and Eddie, lol. Could you have known they were together before Steve did the sex toy thing? For sure. Was it more fun for me to imagine, just for a second, that he was just being very forward and inappropriate with co-worker Eddie who wasn't expecting it? Of course.

Work Like a Dog day is August 5th if you want to add to your calendar, lol.

Bob! ❤️ I think this might be the first time I've had a place to use him in a fic.

Chili's and Poor Richard's were both shout-outs to The Office, many thanks to them for lending me their set-up for this fic. As soon as I chose this prompt, The Office, was the first idea in my head.

And trying to pin down the exact year this is set in made my head hurt. It must be, like, 1999. Then fleshlights exist, but cell phones aren't glued to our hands quite yet. But pussy hats are much more modern. But then Awesome Blossoms are discontinued. I don't know. It's an alternate universe. Go with it. 🤣

Thanks for reading! ❤️

[kiwiana-writes]

WIP Word Search

Thanks @anincompletelist for the tag, this looks like way too much fun 😉

RULES: use this generator to generate three random words (or however many you'd like to do!) and share the lines where they show up in your wips!

[My words were: sacrifice, hour, joystick]

SACRIFICE appears in the awkward barista Henry 5+1 (which does actually have a title now, but I might hang onto that until I publish lol):

“Michelle?” She appears in the doorway, frowning as she takes in the great brownie sacrifice. “Would you be able to assist this customer, please? I have to take all this into the back and…” There’s no professional way to say drown myself in the staff toilet, so eventually he goes with: “clean up.”

HOUR appears in a few places, but I've pulled one from the prologue of the Anastasia AU:

“Okay…” Henry rubs his eyes, trying to shift the sleep from them, when there’s a loud crash from somewhere outside. A pit of dread gnaws at Henry’s stomach as he puts it all together—the late hour, the expression on his mum’s face, the yelling. “Mummy—”

JOYSTICK of course appears in the vintage plane AU, because why wouldn't it:

“Taking control,” Alex confirms, and Henry releases his grip on the joystick. “HASELL check time, sweetheart—anything that’s not secured will probably go, and that does include you, so if you could confirm your harness is secure, that would save me a whole lot of paperwork at the other end. I hate having to update the ‘days since I accidentally yeeted a passenger out of a plane and sent them careening to their death’ sign.

Tagging @affectionatelyrs @blairwaldcrf @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @dumbpeachjuice @firenati0n @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @inexplicablymine @littlemisskittentoes @myheartalivewrites @notspecialbabe @orchidscript @tintagel-or-cockleshells @whimsymanaged and, as always, anyone who wants to play!

[diamondzoey]

*Pops up* Bug army questions and scenarios!

1. highschool bug Au!

What job do they want after they graduate high school?

2. Pirate bug Au!

One of their favorite quotes?

3. Scenarios #1 (Actor bug Au!)

Al of the bugs were in the lobby talking to each other and than hears a staff member’s voice

Staff member: Okay guys we’re doing the swap bug Au today so get in your costumes

4. Pirate swap bug Au!

Least favorite sea creature and why?

5. Scenarios #2 (swap bug Au!)

Your bug was doing their hobby and than hears a voice and sees jemma who’s holding a box

Swap!Jemma who has a smile on her face: Hey Bug name I made you something!

Jemma gives them the small box and they opened it and it was their favorite sweet

Swap!Jemma: I know it isn’t much but I hope you like it

(Fun fact: Swap!Jemma is a better cook than OG!Jemma)

6. Scenarios #3

Some of the bugs and jemma were in the village talking to each other and getting some supplies while this was happening, one of the bugs overhears a conversation and hears a familiar last name

Random person talking to another person: did you hear that the parents of the Grayson family got arrested for what they did to their oldest daughter

Random person 2: really what happened?

Random person: Well apparently the parents after learning that their daughter got pregnant, they put her in a lab

Your bug looks confused at how those people knew about that and than at jemma who had a smile on her face

One of the bugs: Jem did you have anything to do with this

Jemma just had a smile on her face: Maybe I might have told some people ^^

Some of the bugs:….

Jemma who now has a dark smile on her face and walks off: Those so called grandparents of mine got what they deserved for what they did to my mother

One of bugs: Jemma scary at times

7. Bloodmoon swap Au!

Something that cause them to lose some of their sanity before they went to the swamp?

tags:

@rozeliyawashereyall @willowve01 @asmrbrainrot @kaiamtt @iistxrmyskyii

@insignificant-anarchy @stxph-artist @aspenm00n @keyaartz @fangsshadow

@rustycopper4use @piffany666 @dreamyshape @idontevenknow7878 @lunaritychuwolf

@littlesiren79 @castbracelet240 @strayharmony943 @proxdragon @tiefling-chaos

@threeweekinsomnia @recated @wilderrorcard @diamondzoey @fennaboysenberry

@lunnats @lightdragon789 @pinkcocopuff-aqualoid @itsargyle @not-5-rats

@astralbulldragon13 @ccstiles @puffin-smoke @fruity0salad @takashishihoin @headstrashdump

@megapugman @reefhastoomanyaccs @kaydenskiwi @greaysharkboi @itzscribz @blingzyya

[saltedpeppermintmocha]

MONSTERS DON’T DO BACKGROUND CHECKS - 3/?

-UFSans x Reader

Chapter One(Tumblr)

Chapter One (Ao3)

Summary: Moving across the country and starting your life anew on the basis of a rumour may not be the smartest thing you’ve ever done…but, well, you’re here.

If only you could stop running into that asshole skeleton, life would be pretty good.

Tags: underfell au, bara Sans, afab reader, enemies to lovers, fluff, eventual romance, eventual smut, slow burn, swearing, alcohol, smoking, past abuse, plot

Notes: Currently at 87k words and 12 chapters on AO3.

Chapter Three: Monsters Don’t Lose Bets

You are not at all hungover the next day; no headache, no nausea, nothing. Maybe you’re a bit dehydrated, but after last night that’s just a small consequence. It’s a relief really, considering your early shift, but also super fucking weird. What you are, however, is absolutely exhausted. So you stand at the reception desk feeling like a zombie and stare into space. 

It’s too early in the morning for any guests to arrive, so it’s just you and the janitor in the lobby. The janitor -some sort of gooey monster that makes just as much of a mess as he cleans- hasn’t exactly been receptive to your attempts to chat. You’re starting to think it's more that he doesn’t speak at all than anything else, as ever since the monster staff got the fifteen minute break, your area has been practically sparkling and if there’s ever a mess, he’s right there. 

You watch him work absently, and with nothing else interesting to focus on, your tired mind starts to relive the party. Damn. Such a weird night. A good night, for sure, filled with a lot of laughter and fun. You definitely made a few more friends, which is a great thing for your social life in Monstertown. But, there were definitely some odd moments too: walking home with Undyne, sharing your lighter with Sans on the balcony and…well, whatever the fuck happened in the kitchen. 

As the memories play in your mind, you feel like almost cringing into yourself. What the hell had you been thinking?! Many of the shitty decisions you made last night definitely wouldn’t have been made if you were sober. Okay, sure, you might have gone up to Sans and tried to mess with him a bit at work, but that is nothing near to actively antagonizing him and putting your hands on him. Not to mention drinking out of a random solo cup? Just how invincible do you think you are?! Who knows what the fuck was in there?! Sure, it turned out alright…but it easily couldn’t have. 

You swallow, mind going off in a tangent of ‘what could have happened’. As much as you want to completely trust BP and Guy, you’ve only known them for a few months, and you literally just met the other monsters at the party. You were lucky, really. Lucky that either nobody wanted to hurt you, or do anything worse.. BP’s words from earlier flicker through your brain. 

“You have no idea just how lucky you are, little buddy.”

Letting out a long sigh, rubbing your face as you try to push your circling thoughts from your brain. No. You’re definitely going a bit too far in the other direction now. Sure, you made some dumb decisions…but that doesn’t mean anyone was necessarily out to get you. You’re allowed to trust in people. You have to be a bit smarter in the future, but you don’t want to close yourself off to people. That’s not going to happen again. You came here to live , not to become a damn hermit. 

Something that Undyne said on the walk home sticks out in your mind. 

“Wait. Did you really not do a lot of research before moving here?”

You really are walking around here with blinders on, aren’t you? When you moved to Monstertown, you didn’t really do much research, other than basic etiquette and where to apply for a job. It had felt odd to you to look into any specific monsters in the area…considering everything. The only monsters you really knew beforehand were Mettaton and the monarchs, but, well, everyone knows them.

Pressing your lips together, you open up Goggles on your work computer. Chandace wont really care. You type in ‘Undyne’ and hit search. 

Wow. Her face pops up immediately, along with a Wiki page. You stare down at the computer in surprise. So, you really should have known who she was beforehand, then? Shit. Is she famous or something? You click on the wiki page. The page that comes up is not huge by any means, but the information on there is shocking. 

Undyne (birthdate unknown) is a known monster, currently serving as the Captain of the Royal Guard, under its king, Asgore. 

Well, shit. You click on the link for ‘Royal Guard’

The Royal Guard are an elite group of monsters dedicated to defending monsterkind and protecting the King and Queen. 

Your hand shakes a bit. That’s who you were walking home with?? Likely one of the strongest monsters? The damn Captain of their Royal Guard?!

…no wonder Sans seemed a bit worried to see her at the party.

According to the Royal Guard page, most of the members are still active, but only a few are ‘known’ outside of monster society. A small section below is titled ‘Notable Royal Guards’. There are only a few names there: Greater Dog, Papyrus and RG02. 

Greater Dog…?

You think of Lesser Dog at the party. The little pup who cuddled in your lap and whined for treats. There is no way…right? The same part of you that kept you from doing research beforehand screams at you not to look any further; you wouldn’t want people looking into you, right? But…well…last night proved that you maybe need just a bit more information if you want to live here unscathed. 

You click on the link, and prepare yourself for heartbreak. The page that comes up is both a relief and a concern. That’s definitely not Lesser Dog, thankfully, but the fact that you are now staring at a picture of a different dog in really buff knights armor remains confusing as hell. How does that even work?? There isn’t much of a bio for Greater Dog, it just states the name and that they are a member of the Royal Guard. 

Deciding to think a bit less of that, you go back to the previous page and click on an unknown name. 

That's…a skeleton. Huh. Well, definitely not Sans. This monster is tall like Sans, but definitely a lot thinner. He’s, uh, actually kinda terrifying looking, with the scars over his eye and scowl in every photo. It’s kinda like taking a photo of Sans into photoshop and just sharpening him 100%. Are they related? Hm. You blink. Wait…is it, uh, speciesist to assume the skeletons are related? Shit. 

This monster, Papyrus, has a much bigger bio than Greater Dog, or even Undyne really. Apparently this thin skeleton is also a…lawyer? Well, he'd certainly intimidate you in a court. Hah. He seems to be the main lawyer at all the different Monster Rights court cases, defending and advocating for monsterkind and the monarchs. Even his picture at the top right is him in court, standing straight up at the podium pointing at something out of frame. 

From there, you kind of end up on a bit of a deep dive into monster rights. You’re surprised to find out that monsters don’t legally have everything yet: the right to marry, the right to vote, the right to own land outside of Ebott, etc. You really had thought that they were much closer. Guys’ comment on monsters being unable to buy alcohol rings a bit differently now. Shit, it seems like even the smallest thing is a fight for them. 

Eventually, a guest does come up to the reception desk, so you have to exit your search. As usual, the moment one guest comes, they all do. It’s never in a nice, even fashion. So, you are busy for hours. Ugh. It does die down a little bit after noon, so you pop into Chandace's office and let her know you're going on break. The hand monster looks busy at her desk, and just waves a finger at you silently -you still haven't really figured out her motions- so you shrug and assume thats a 'go ahead. 

On your break, you take a walk through the park, hoping the fresh air will help calm your mind. As you turn the corner, your eyes immediately focus on the spot that you were humiliated for the second time with mustard. If I had a nickel for every time I embarrassed myself over a condiment I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but its weird that it happened twice. Luckily, the area is empty: no stand and no skeleton. You don’t think you’ve seen the guy or stand return to the park since. 

The memories of last night's actions come back full-force. You slow to a halt and look up at the sky. Even taking away the riskiness of your actions, they were still embarrassing as hell. Rude too. Shit. Should I apologize? Despite being an asshole, he dealt with some random human stealing his alcohol and putting their hands on him pretty well. He had plenty of opportunity and motive to hurt you, and also noticeably didn't push you off the balcony. And if the skeletons are in any way related, Sans could have friends/family/something in high places. 

Letting out a deep breath, you look back in front of you and resume walking. An apology might be taking it too far, especially considering the guy still is an asshole. But, neutrality maybe? That could be good. Hm.

You think about that a bit as you walk back towards MTT Resort. As it starts to loom above you, you find yourself slowing. It’s such a nice day, and you really don’t want to go back. Unfortunately, you do have to work to live and too soon you are at the door to the building. You take in one last breath of fresh air before grabbing the handle to go back inside. 

“Hey! Punk!” A familiar voice.

You pause, looking around. It’s Undyne. Captain of the Royal Guard , Undyne. Shit. She’s marching towards you. You immediately freeze, mind focusing on things you’d rather not: her muscles, her sharp teeth, the obvious strength she has in every movement, and the way she could easily disembowel you. All the fun stuff.  

“Uh, hi Undyne!” You smile, words maybe a bit shakier than intended. 

The monster stops in front of you, narrowing her eyes. Then, she smirks. “You looked me up, didn’t you?!” When you just nod sheepishly, she laughs loudly, hands on her hips. “You know, if I wanted to kill you, I definitely would have done it last night. Not now-”

Okay…true. That makes you calm a bit. 

“-not that anyone here could stop me-”

Great.

“-I mean, you’re just one weak little human. The fuck would you do to stop me?!”

…  

“You little shits have nothing. No magic, no claws, no muscles-” She rants, her eye a bit unfocused, as if she’s not even seeing you, but others. 

“Undyne.” You interrupt, watching as her gaze immediately locks back on you. Spooky. “That’s, uh, really not really helping right now.”

“Hah! Right.” She grins, and you get the feeling that she definitely enjoys that she’s freaked you out. “Anyways, yes, I wanted to ask you something!”

…

Oh, she’s not continuing. You prompt. “Uh, go ahead?” 

“Let’s exchange numbers.” Undyne commands, not asks. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a phone, hitting a few buttons before shoving it towards you expectantly. Pinned under that gaze and feeling incredibly like prey, you really don’t have another choice. Taking the phone from her hand, start to add your contact information.

“Undyne!” A new voice calls. Looking up, you’re surprised to find the voice coming from a smaller voice further away: a yellow lizard looking monster with glasses. 

“Aw, shit.” Undyne mutters, a weird nervous energy to her all of a sudden. She practically shoves the phone back into your hands. “Gotta go! I’ll text you. You better text back.” 

…and she’s off. As quickly as she came. You watch as she quickly makes her way over to the other monster before stopping beside. The lizard monster turns to look at you for a moment, but with the distance and those large glasses, you have no idea what expression they have. You give a small awkward wave, but the monster turns away. 

The two walk off. You watch them until they disappear around a corner and head back into the resort. You head back to the reception desk. It’s maybe half an hour later when your phone vibrates. 

New Message

[Unknown Number] Hi Punk!!!!!! 

With a small smile, you quickly add her contact in and respond. 

[You]: Hi Undyne : )

[Undyne]: It’s Undyne

[Undyne]: The fuck?!!!! How did you know????!

You chuckle, and respond. 

[You]: Lucky guess.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Weeks Later

Undyne proceeds to message you at least once a day after that. It’s surprising, not just in how chatty the fish monster is, but as to how mundane the topics are. They are pretty surface level; she mostly chats about her day, asks about yours or goes on surprisingly sweet rants about her girlfriend. You had wondered at first, if her getting your number was some odd attempt to get information or something out of you. Not that you had any information that couldn’t be found online. But the idea that Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard, just wanted to chat seemed…impossible. 

Why talk to you ? You have no idea. Certainly there must be more interesting people around her. Despite thinking about it for a long while, you can’t really come up with any reason why the Captain would want anything to do with you. Part of you wants to just ask, but the larger part doesn’t want the answer. Even if you are right, and she really is trying to get something from you…you’re not certain that you really care.

After all, you’re getting something from this too. You’re getting a type of interaction that you didn’t realize you were missing. It’s just…nice to talk to someone like this. BP isn’t one for small talk, and you realized quickly that you didn’t actually get any of the other monster’s numbers at the party. But here is someone who is just willing to chat. You wonder if, maybe, this could grow into some sort of friendship. A transactional friendship, possibly, but one nonetheless. 

Sort of friends with the Captain of the Royal Guard. Holy shit. 

It’s been about two weeks since the night of the party, and honestly, you have pretty much moved on from it. Of course, remembering your stupidity will always bring back a pang of embarrassment, but with your new lease on life to be smarter, the odd texting with Undyne, and no skeleton sightings, you really haven’t had a reason to relive the memories anymore. 

So, when you’re wandering around alone at the park on your break, and you see a familiar stand set up, you are pretty surprised. 

There he is, as massive as usual. He looks almost asleep, leaning against his hand on the stand with his eye sockets practically closed. 

…

Shit. What was your plan here again? To somehow become neutral with this monster? To try to smooth things over and not be on his bad side? Right. And how the hell did you plan to do that? Taking in a small breath, you text the only two people you think could have any input into this situation. 

[You]: Hey, Sans is back at the stand. Should I go try to smooth things over with him? 

Copy. Paste. Now just wait. 

The responses come surprisingly quick, your phone vibrating twice in your hand. 

[BP]: what? Fuck no

[Undyne]: Of course!!!! Don’t be a little bitch!!!! Be strong and forward!!!!

Well, cool, that was useless. You pocket your phone with a deep sigh. Okay, think. Do you even want to smooth things over with the guy? Eh. Maybe? It certainly would make living here easier, especially as he seems to be a regular around the area. Though, hypothetically, you probably could just try to avoid him for the foreseeable future. There’s no reason you have to interact with the skeleton. Maybe you can just…leave him alone and let things simmer down.

…no, that’s dumb. You’d be setting yourself up for a harder time for no reason. 

You look back over to the stand, startling slightly as you notice those eye lights staring straight back at you. Oh. He’s awake. His mouth ticks up into a grin, and you instantly have to fight off the urge to flip him off. This is going well already. You think sarcastically. 

You take in a deep breath to center yourself. Okay. You’re going to do this. You are going to have a good -or at least neutral- interaction with the skeleton if it kills you! Maybe it’s a good thing that he showed up today of all days. You had been planning on buying a quick lunch from the Emporium on the way back from your walk -the last of your groceries had been used for dinner last night- so you are pretty hungry. Maybe it’s finally time to try one of those locally famous ‘dogs. 

Swallowing your pride, you approach the stand.  

“back for another?” The skeleton asks, not moving from his lazy stance. 

Shit. You forgot just how much seeing this guy's skull and hearing his voice immediately puts you on edge. Ugh, this isn’t fair. 

“Can I have a ‘dog?” You ask, attempting a polite voice and even a small smile. Hah! Success! 

…

The skeleton seems fully awake now. His eyes are fully opened, giving you a surprised look that you don’t fully understand. 

“Uh…hello?” You prompt, using your best customer service voice. Don’t fail me now.

The grin returns, and he looks as if he’s figured something out. Uh oh. “arn’t ya missin’ somethin’?” He drawls. What? When you give him a confused look, he continues. “an important part of a request.”

It takes you only a moment for his words to click. Immediately you feel your back straighten. Oh, fuck you fuck you fuck you. “Please.” You say through gritted teeth. 

“sure, since ya asked so politely.” He chuckles, reaching into his cart for the food. “lemme guess, lotsa mustard?”

“Just the regular amount.” You grumble. 

He thankfully remains silent as he puts together the ‘dog. It only takes a moment, and soon he’s holding out a normal-looking hotdog with a normal amount of condiments. You can’t help but feel a bit suspicious as you take it from him. Staring at it for a moment, you take a small bite. 

Oh. Shit. Everyone was right. 

The flavour immediately hits your tongue. It’s good. Really good. Better than any hotdog has the right to be. Must be the magic. Letting out a small sound, you take another bite. 

“ya really like that ‘dog, huh?”

You look back up, catching his amused expression. Shit. Heat fills your cheeks and you flip him off, swallowing the bite in your mouth. Well, the attempt at smoothing things over is officially ruined. You’re already resorting to your own ways. “Fuck off. Who wouldn’t like a good ‘dog?!”

He hums, leaning back on the stand. Those eye lights look you up and down.“im more of a pussy guy myself.”

…uh, what?! You stare at him, feeling like an electric shock goes down your spine. The fuck?! The moment only lasts a second longer, as that intense look leaves his eyes, his grin sharpens and he points down at the sign. 

You follow his pointing finger, reading the sign. On the sign, just underneath ‘dog is… ‘cat. 

….

Hot cat.  

…

Shit. The sharp sound that forces its way out of your mouth is a surprise, and the continued sound even more so. That dumbass joke hits you probably much harder than normal due to the ridiculousness of the entire situation. With your free hand, you cover your mouth, trying to stifle the unexpected sound. 

Sans stares at you, also apparently not expecting that reaction. It takes you only a moment or so to get yourself under control, and your laughs turn into an awkward cough. You look back up at that pleased expression and for once don’t feel the urge to escalate the situation at all. In fact, now is probably a good time to leave.

“Uh, well, I gotta go back.” You mumble, starting to step away when you remember. “Oh shit. How much is it?”

“two.” 

Well, that’s reasonable enough. You reach into your purse with your free hand and grab a two. It’s only as you’re passing it into his -massive wtf- outstretched hand when something else pops into your mind. “Wait. Did you really up-charge me eight for mustard?!”

That smug look returns. He shrugs. “well, ya paid it.”

“Fuck.” You mutter, dropping the money into his hand. “I guess I did.” 

There is a moment of silence as he slides the money into something on his side of the cart. “Anyways, uh, thanks for the ‘dog.” You say. “So, yeah…bye then.” What the hell was that?!

“bye, sweetcheeks.”

You give him one last glance before walking away. The nickname surprises you. Not that he said it, but that it didn’t feel like an insult this time. This time felt...different. 

The ‘dog is half-way gone by the time you reach MTT resort. You walk in and head straight to the Emporium. Even if you’re not buying something, you plan to spend the second half of your lunch there with the cat monster. You don't have enough snark in your life, apparently. 

“Why even ask me?” BP mutters as you walk up to the counter.

“Huh?” 

He looks down at your ‘dog. Oh…

“Uh, sorry?” You smile sheepishly. “But you were right! They’re really good!”

“...did you smooth things over at least?” 

You blink. Did I? Honestly, you’re not too sure. At the very least, the end of the conversation wasn’t horrible, you think. You do feel better than before. 

“Uh, maybe.” You mutter. “But anyways, enough about that! Any other monster food you think I need to try?”

The cat monster gives a long-suffering sigh, and allows you to change the topic. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Week Later

Sans doesn’t return. 

It’s not that you think you have any sway in the skeleton's life, really, but something about the last interaction had you fully believing he’d show up more often. So when you walk into the park and see no stand day after day, you can’t help but be surprised. It gets to the point where you ask BP about it, but the cat monster only gives you an odd look and asks why you even care. You…don’t have an answer to that. 

Why do you care? Why are you looking? Why does it even matter? You’ve already done your job of trying to make things as smooth as possible with the guy. Honestly, you’re not entirely sure it can be anything more neutral with both of your personalities. The last interaction showed that. So, now you can just go about your business as normal. 

…maybe this is the universe telling you to just mind your own business and move on. 

Which, fair enough universe, you agree. So, you actively stop looking at the spot where the stand was when you walk through the park, refuse to think about the party or the damn joke or the way he said ‘sweetcheeks’ and just…move on.

Life goes by normally: you work, snark with BP and text with Undyne. The fish monster has gone back to Ebott, but continues to text you every day. It’s been almost a month now, and the topics remain surprisingly normal. You find yourself really starting to hope that she doesn’t have any underlying plans. God, you’ll feel like such an ass if she does. 

Another person you get to text now is Guy, which is exciting. The bunny monster is always such a delight. It took a while to get his number, you had to practically jump in on BP’s phone call with Guy to get it. While the cat monster was quick to get the phone back and hold it above his head, he wasn’t quick enough to cover the microphone. Once Guy knew you wanted his number, BP pretty much had no choice. 

You were smug about that little victory for most of the week.

So, yea, life is going remarkably smoothly. Which, of course, is when something has to change. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You’re at work, as usual. 

It’s a hot day outside, which normally doesn’t bother you -it's nearing the end of summer, so you’ll take whatever heat you get- as MTT Resort has great temperature controls. It’s probably necessary due to the different needs of the guests. So, normally, even if it’s hot as hell outside, you’re safe and cool here. But not today. Not today, when the air conditioning is down. Not when the entire building feels like it’s melting. Not when guests are almost planning a revolt, and honestly you’re right with them. 

“It feels like I’m back in Hotland!” The monster in room 402 screams at you through the phone. You grimace and hold the phone a bit further from your ear. 

“Yes, I understand.” You reply. “We’ve called someone to fix it. They will be here soon.” You look at the front door. Please be here soon!

After another few minutes of ranting and you are able to hang up. Shit, it’s times like this you wish the monsters were still too shocked to speak with you. Ugh. You take another sip of -sadly lukewarm by this point- water and wipe at the sweat on your forehead. This fucking mechanic can’t come soon enough. 

As if you summoned someone, the front door opens. You straighten up, leaning forward as you wait for whoever it is to come in. Please be the mechanic. Please be the mechanic. Please!!

…

The fuck?! In walks probably the last person you expected to see right now. You blink a few times in confusion as the large skeleton walks in through the door. 

Sans looks just as you remember him, even still wearing that damn jacket -which… how?! He looks around the lobby lazily for a moment, before his eye lights land on the reception desk. He seems to almost straighten up, heading your way. 

“The fuck have you been?” The words are out of your mouth the moment he walks up.

He grins. “what? miss me?”

“Absolutely not.” You deadpan. “I was just wanted some pussy.” The words are out of your mouth before you even get to think of them. Your eyes go wide, and your cheeks turn red… i’ll blame that one on the heat.

The skeletons' eyes also widen at your words, and he lets out a loud laugh. It surprises you, along with a few monsters milling about in the lobby area who had started to look a bit concerned. “fuckin’ hell, sweetcheeks, ya really don’ got a filter, do ya?”

“Shut up.” You grumble, rubbing at your cheeks and willing the red to go down. I really do! Just…not around assholes like you, apparently. You don’t speak your thoughts. After a moment, the laughter dies down. 

“So, uh, what are you doing here?” You ask, changing the topic. ”Not gonna lie, it’s kinda hell in here right now. The air conditioner’s down.” 

He raises an eyebrow bone. “im gonna fix it. what’s it look like?”

You blink. “Uh. You??”

“the fuck does that mean?” He frowns, tensing. You can practically see his metaphorical hackles rising. Ah. Shit. Yup. That was definitely insulting. 

“No, sorry!” You raise your hands up in a placating gesture. “I meant that you work at the hotdog stand. There doesn’t seem to be many uh…transferable skills?”

His shoulders drop. Crisis averted. “nah. that’s my side gig.”  Huh? 

“Side gig?” You ask. “So…your main job is…”

“a mechanic.” Sans shrugs. “cars, motorcycles, hvac, generators, elevators…anythin’ mechanical anyways.”

“Oh.” You reply, surprised. “That's…pretty cool.”

“Sans, you’re here. Finally.” Chandace pops her…fingers out of the door, interrupting whatever the skeleton was about to respond with. Shame, because the look on his face is something you’ve never seen before. The expression clears quickly, as he turns towards Chandace. 

“yup.” 

Chandace sighs. “Follow me.” 

The two monsters leave without another word, Sans following Chandace down the hall towards the back rooms. You stop watching as they round a corner, turning back towards the lobby. Oh. Uh… The few monsters in the lobby stare at you. You’re used to the staring, of course, but something about this feels different. 

The phone rings, you’re saviour from this weird moment. You quickly reach down and pick it up. “Thank you for calling MTT-”

“IS IT FIXED YET?!” A voice screams at you loudly through the receiver.

You look at the Caller I.D: room 402. Damnit! 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes a long time before anything changes. Long enough that you answer two more calls from room 402. Long enough that the heat in the lobby becomes almost unbearable. Long enough that you say ‘fuck it’ to whatever Chandace is going to say and start figuring things out on your own. 

Not that you can do much, exactly. Your break might be coming up but you know better than to leave early with Chandace still in the backrooms. No, you have to wait here. All you can do is work with what you currently have, and what you have is a professional long-sleeved shirt and long pants. With one last look around the -quite empty- lobby, you start peeling it off, grimacing as the sweaty skin underneath is exposed to air. 

It feels a bit weird to be shirtless in the lobby, but you’re wearing a sports bra underneath -thank god for laundry day. It’s a nice sports bra, and has quite a long band at the bottom. It’s fine, practically like a cropped tank top or something. Chandace can kiss your ass if she tries to write you up for this. Next, you roll up the bottom of your pants as much as possible. 

Well…it’s something. 

The very few monsters in the lobby give you wide-eyed looks as you fix your clothes, but don’t say anything. They look away once you stare back at them. Otherwise, it’s business as normal. You still don't feel good in the heat, but it’s slightly better than before at least. 

Maybe thirty minutes later, a mechanical sound echoes through the walls in the lobby. You startle slightly, looking around. As you listen, you start to hear the whirring sound of the air conditioning blades in the vents. Oh my god, I feel like crying. Not that you feel anything right away, in a room this big it’ll take a while before the temperature actually starts changing. Hopefully the rooms will be a bit quicker for some of the guests. 

You call Room 402 and let them know the air conditioner is back up -as requested. The guest is suddenly extremely kind and soft spoken, to the point that you start to wonder if you’re calling the right room. You check the caller I.D two times before just shrugging and letting it be. 

It’s as you are hanging up the call that Chandace and Sans return. They walk in silence down the hallway, both pausing at the reception desk. You only get a second to see Sans’ surprised expression as his eyes fall on you when the hand monster speaks.

“What are you wearing ?!” She demands, fingers going down to a fist. 

Prepared for this, you respond. “I’m wearing something that I’m not gonna melt to death in.” 

“That is not dress code.”

“So write me up, but I’m sure there’s some human law that you’d be crossing.” You bluff, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “I’ll put the shirt back on once the temperature gets to a reasonable level.”

…

“You are lucky you’re good for business, human.” She mutters, turning to walk away. 

Huh?  You look at the skeleton, pointing at yourself. “I’m good for business?”

…

“...Sans?”

“uh…heh…” The skeleton shakes his head, unfocused eyes closing for a second. “what did ya say?”

The hell? You tilt your head and look at Sans. “Are you okay?” Is the heat finally getting to him? A few small red sweat beads have appeared on his skull, and his cheekbones look a little red. “Do you need water or something?”

 “im fine.” He mumbles. 

“Alright, well…thanks for fixing the air conditioning. Seriously, it was absolute hell in here.” You smile, really meaning it. The cold air feels like it's already reaching you, though that might just be a placebo. You don’t really care. It feels good. 

“right, yea. whatever.” He responds, sounding distracted. There is a long pause, where you could swear he mutters a quick ‘fuck it’ to himself, before he speaks. “when’s yer break?”

You’re a bit thrown by the sudden change in conversation. “Uh, anytime I guess, now that Chandace is back.” A pause. “Why?”

“i don’t wanna leave ya hangin’. ” He looks away, not meeting your eyes. “come by the stand.”

…You feel like you’re missing something. “Huh?”

Finally he looks at you, that grin back on his face. “lets get ya that pussy yer after.”

Pfft! You can’t help but bark out a laugh at that. A hotcat then? You have food already prepared for your break but…you can’t deny you’re unbelievably curious. “Yeah. Sure. When are you there next?” 

“i gotta drop stuff off at home first so… ” He looks at his phone. “...less than five minutes?”

You’re sure you heard that wrong. Five minutes?? That's not possible, unless maybe he has the stand already out there and waiting…but it wasn’t there yesterday. When he doesn’t correct himself, you speak. “Didn’t you just say you have to go home first?”

“yup.”

“Even if you lived in the park, that’d be practically impossible.” You frown. 

“oh yea?” He grins, leaning against the counter. “wanna bet?” …The flashback to the night of the party is very unwanted right now. 

You swallow, pushing that aside. “Hm. Bet what?”

“i’ll be there before ya get there.”

Well, shit, you’re not in the business of turning down bets you know you’ll win. “I’d take that bet.” You smirk. “But you gotta be completely set up before I get there.”

He shrugs. “sure.”

“What do I get when I win?”

“a free hot cat.”  It’s not much, but you accept it. A free lunch is still a free lunch.

“Alright, sure. What's in it for you then?”

“a drink.”

Huh? You wait for something to come after, but he just looks at you. Those intense red eye lights staring straight into yours. “You…asking me on a date Sans?” You ask, trying to keep your tone as light and joke-y as possible. 

“fuck off, of course not!” He straightens up, voice growing in volume. You're surprised as he starts to ramble. “they’ve just banned me from the bar here, and this city got no grillby’s-” 

…Okay, so…he wants you to…get him into the MTT Resort bar? You can do that. That’s not impossible. You shrug, interrupting him. “Sure, a drink it is. You’re not gonna win anyways.” 

He blinks a few times, before that relaxed grin returns to his face. “we’ll see. we startin’ the timer now?”

“Hm.” That seems unfair. “I’ll start moving once you leave the resort.”

That grin sharpens. “ya make it too easy, doll.” He steps backwards, lazily turning on his heel to walk towards the front door. “see ya soon.” 

You dutifully wait until he leaves before quickly logging out of your account on the computer. You know you’re going to win this. It’s literally impossible for him to get to any home, put away his stuff, get back to the park and fully set up a hotdog cart before you cross the street. Still, his confidence shakes you a bit. You find yourself rushing to Chandace’s door, peeking your head in and telling her that you’re going on break. You don’t even wait for a response before rushing out the door. 

The terrible habit that you’ve picked up of not looking both ways in crossing the street is actually a benefit now, as you book it across the empty pavement into the park. A few monsters give you odd looks as you speed walk through the park towards the area you know the skeleton sets up his stand. You turn the corner -

…

He’s there.

You pause, feet skidding to a stop as you stare. What the fuck?! The skeleton is already looking your way, prepared for your arrival. He grins, waving his fingers in the air. 

Completely bewildered, you walk up to the stand. “But…how?”

He smirks, eye lights looking you up and down. “told ya.”

“That’s not an answer…” You grumble, placing your hands down on the stand to look at him with narrowed eyes. The skeleton remains tight-lipped, just seeming amused at your weak attempt at intimidation and eventually you just give in. “Fine. You win.” You sigh, stepping back. Never let anyone say that you’re a sore loser. “So, when do you want that drink then?”

That gets a different expression. For a brief moment, he looks almost panicked, before he schools it back to regular. “not yet, doll.” He says. “i’ll let ya know.”

“Whatever, Mr. Mysterious.” You sigh, rubbing your face. Taking a moment, you look over the sign. “Well…I’m here. Can I have a ‘cat please? Oh, and do you sell cold drinks? I’m thirsty.” 

Sans looks like he’s about to say something, but stops himself. Instead, he reads off a small list of drinks he has in his cart. You pick out your favourite and watch the skeleton work. It doesn’t take long, and soon he’s passing you a drink and the ‘cat. 

Oh no. It's adorable! You stare down at the ‘cat in absolute joy. Honestly, it looks just like a hotdog, but with little ears and feet and…is that a tail? How the hell do they make these??

Sans chuckles, bringing you out of your reverie. You look up. “Shut up, it’s cute, okay?”

“sure, sweetcheeks.” He responds. 

You take a bite, surprised to find that it somehow tastes even better than the ‘dog. What? There’s an additional flavour you can’t exactly put your finger on, but it just pulls everything together. It reminds you of…home…weirdly. You’re not entirely sure how that works.

“aw, no sounds this time?”

You flip him off immediately, glaring at him as he snickers. He doesn’t say anything else, so you get to finish the bite in relative peace. “So…you’re a mechanic but you just moonlight as a hotdog stand guy?” 

“yup.”

“Why?”

He seems surprised by the question. “why else, gotta get money somehow.”

“Hm.” You hum as you take another bite, waiting until you swallow before continuing. “I would have thought that being a mechanic would be enough for the bills?”

“maybe for a human.” Sans says. “monsters don’t really have many mechanical things t’ fix.” At your confused look, he continues. “without cars, ya really only need a mechanic when somethin’ doesn’t work, right? how often does that happen?”

Oh…right. “I guess that would slow down business.” You agree. “I hope MTT Resort is paying you well for that at least. You pretty much saved the business.” 

He shrugs. “most of it will be goin’ to my bro’s school.” You straighten, ready to ask a probably too nosy question, when he continues. “why do ya work at fer the robot anyways?”

The question completely turns your focus away from what you were going to ask. Work for the robot…? Oh. Mettaton. Right. Technically, you suppose you do, though you’ve never met or even seen the guy. 

“Why else?” You smirk, repeating his words right back at him. “Gotta get money somehow.” 

Sans eyebrow bones raise, before he chuckles. “fair ‘nough.” 

It looks like he might ask another question on that topic, so you quickly interrupt. “Oh shit, right. How much for the uh…hotcat?” 

He shrugs. “one.”

“Wait, it’s less than a ‘dog?” You ask. He just shrugs again. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, you grab a one from your purse and pass it over. As he's putting it away, you come to the realization that the bet and transaction are over. That's it. You're free to turn around and spend your break elsewhere. No need to remain here with the smug skeleton. But...

I…kinda don’t want to go back. The thought is a surprise, but not wrong at all. It's your break, it's nice out -the breeze cuts through the heat well-, and somehow you are having a surprisingly good conversation with Sans. Hm. Fucking weird, but true. Maybe thats your cue to leave, though? Leave on a high note, before things sour? You look down at the 'cat in your hand and think that its probably the best move.

Still, you find your feet unable to move. Instead, you lean against the cart, already opening your mouth to ask another question. “Soooo, what job has the worst customers?”  

Sans looks surprised that you’re still here, which…fair. “the mechanic job.” He answers after a moment. 

That's surprising. “Oh yea, why?” 

“harder to tell ‘em to fuck off when they’re payin’ the bills.” 

“Makes sense.” You nod sympathetically. “Hm…I bet I have a story that can beat any of yours though.” 

“what? fuck off. no way.” The skeleton shakes his head. 

“No no, I’m serious.” You say, waving your hand in the air. “Let me say mine, and then let's see if you can beat it?”

“you’re on.”

[Next Chapter]

[petrichorca]

First fic lines

I was tagged by @mxmollusca @ghostalservice @naranjapetrificada @spirker! (sorry if I missed someone) I've done something similar before I think but I've posted more since, so here we go!

Post the first line of your ten most recent fics, and see if there are any patterns.

1. like sugar to my heart (gift for @ghostalservice): There’s a vending machine in the private staff-only corridor of Blackbeard’s that Stedeth loves.

2. like a bird (collab with @ghostalservice): When Stedeth-Esgarrouth-Bonnetil was a very young Andalite, he thought that he’d like to be a dome ship when he grew up.

3. Stede’s Cursed Red Suit as a Metaphor for Grief and Moving On: “Oh, fuck off!” Stede wails.

4. Calypso's Dawn: Ed remembers Stede’s shocking strength from the night before, and it stokes the heat growing in his belly.

5. Life as a Series of Forward Rolls: Stede Bonnet is a forty-something years old man who owns Barbie dolls.

6. Did you mean to do that?: Stede pulls his hand away to find his palm slick with blood.

7. Perfectly Ordinary Tuesday (collab with @ferventrabbit): That morning Stede wakes up with Ed’s arm draped over his chest, Ed’s hair spilling in every possible direction across his skin.

8. Foundation Repairs (gift for @mossgroves): They’re in their innkeeper era.

9. Silky Smooth: Stede regretted almost nothing from giving up his old life, in favor of returning to the man he loved.

10. $20 Wedding Dress (collab with @veeagainsttheday and @ghostalservice): Ed puts on his scowly face just before he pushes through the front door of the dark bar he randomly chooses.

Mostly this tells me I've been writing more of Stede POV lately (several of these fics like #5, #7, and #8 switch POVs). I love Ed POV so much though. Many of these fics are modern AU (#5, #10) / Animorphs AU (#1 and #2). I've got missing scenes from s2 (#3, #4, #6, #9). And then there's innkeeper era (#7 and #8). Some start mid-action, most require some set-up prose to get us where we're headed. I like that they all start differently.

Also YAY for collabs and gifts; I love community. The collabs represent some of the most fun I've had in ages, maybe ever!

Tagging at random, feel free to post your own even if I don't tag!! @sweet-bazzle-bean @ferventrabbit @adhduck @darcylindbergh @robertaseaport @petrichorpirate @yerbamansa @chocolatepot

[radiomurdeer]

Wishlist

Random ideas I'd like to see. These are by no means comprehensive or in any particular order and I'm down with lots of plotting/changes to initial idea, these are just some things off the top of my head to help facilitate plotting. You can view the wishlist tag itself by clicking here. This got long woops so I'll put it all under a cut.

With Anyone/General Scenarios

Hotel Dad Alastor - maybe he shouldn't have told Charlie he viewed her as his spawn. I feel like such a bold claim should have consequences.

Alastor is injured after the fight and is dealing with it. The other muse does not believe that he's fine (maybe he is, maybe he isn't) and wants to help.

Alastor is injured after the fight and is taken advantage of (dark thread)

corruption thread! slower burn, Alastor just being a general creeper and influencing those around him in a negative way. Or someone corrupting him but I feel like that might be harder to plot for.

muse as one of Alastor's contractees and has to deal with having a weird creepy boss

found family stuff I'm a sucker for it

Alastor joining the Vees. How willing he is can be variable. Maybe he joined when Vox asked? Maybe he lost the fight with Vox and one of the Vees ended up holding his leash 7 years ago. Maybe he finally relented after coming back from his sabbatical. Bonus points for anyone trying to convince him to change his name to Valastor or something equally dumb with a V to match the rest of them (he refuses, tyvm)

redeemed!Alastor - Great Alastor, altruist, did die for his friends. He's not happy about this. No one is happy about this. Falling from Heaven any% speedrun go! Or maybe Heaven figures out a way to use him against Hell?

human!AU with Alastor as serial killer dating a horror/crime writer like this post

IDK I just like political intrigue

With Charlie

AU where Alastor is, in fact, dating Charlie like he insinuated at the beginning of Episode 5 before switching tactics to be a father figure. This is probably not a healthy ship but it could be

Hotel Dad Alastor - you made the claim my guy, time to stick with it

IDK make him sit in therapy or something. He's not a resident, he's staff, but he should set a good example right? Or maybe she wants to try out some psychology stuff she's read about and get his opinion before testing it on the resident(s)

them working together on some project for the hotel or something else

field trips to Cannibal Town or elsewhere - for someone raised in Hell, she doesn't really seem to know much about her people

With Husk

role reversal, Husk owns Alastor's soul

Overlord Husk - stuff in the past leading up to the game where Husk lost his soul

aftermath and time following Alastor getting Husk's soul

With Lucifer

Lucifer and Alastor having to deal with each other, I just want banter and maybe reluctant co-parenting/co-hosting at the hotel.

Something based on the Mutual Satisfaction comic by @/Fernrynn on Twitter, first page is here but the rest is easy enough to find (tw: gore, canniballism), - Lucifer makes a deal with Alastor to provide his meals. Probably more of a horror thread tbh?

I like RadioApple of all flavors. Lucifer and Alastor dealing with starting to like someone they can't stand and having to deal with feelings is a fun dynamic.

With Vox

Them meeting and working together, Alastor taking a newly spawned Vox under his wing.

AU where they continue working together and the 'Vees' didn't happen (idk I love the idea of 'the Media Demons/Broadcast Husbands' getting a rep and showing up at the hotel in the pilot instead of just Alastor)

the point leading up to and including where Alastor and Vox split. I high key headcanon this happened in the 70s/80s when Valentino showed up. An ultimatum was given, and Vox chose Val. Super negotiable on the reason for the split though.

AU where Alastor loses the fight 7 years ago and ends up working for Vox. Or the other way around? Either is good.

Vox and Alastor team up for some reason during/after the series, possibly reconciling, possibly not

RadioStatic of all flavors, unrequited/unspoken/QPR/exes/anything. I fucking love RadioStatic

corrupt priest or corrupt nun AU? AU where one is getting tempted by a devil? both tempting an NPC? Idk Vox's priest getup in ep 2 and Alastor's nun outfit in ep 5 had me thinking

[unseenacademic]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by my dear, talented friend @mihrsuri Thanks, friend! 💜💜💜💜 1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 13 at the moment 😅

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 28,823

3. What fandoms do you write for? The West Wing.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? The First Lady - my ongoing fic where I answer the most important question in the world: what was Abbey Bartlet doing during the episodes she didn't appear in?

Josh and the Jackass - what happened right before Governor Bartlet decided to follow Josh to the airport in In the Shadow of Two Gunmen.

Breathe - a post-ep for Dead Irish Writers. Her birthday party is over, and Abbey Bartlet must face the New Hampshire Medical Board.

A Bit Desperate - part three of a series of three-sentence fics about Abbey and Jed in the aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.

Anything Else I Need to Know - Five times the staff of Bartlet for America interrupted a barbecuing session and one time CJ interrupted a different kind of session. Takes place during the First Bartlet Campaign.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, I do. I do my best to respond to every comment I get, as fast as I can. It's a two-way street, we, as fic authors, often complain (and rightly so) about the lack of feedback, the lack of comments and kudos, but we don't respond to comments. As a reader, I am more likely to comment on a fic from an author who's replied to my comments earlier. But I guess I get so few comments that I can easily respond to all of them 🤷‍♀️ and since there are like 7 people who care about what I write, the least I can do is respond to their very kind comments 💜💜

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I guess it's Anything Else I Need to Know. The ending isn't too angsty by itself, but if you put it into context and you know the overarching plot of first few seasons of TWW, it's definitely angsty. Honorable mentions: With Pomp and Parade & And the Silence Haunts our Bedchamber - they both deal with the aftermath of Zoey's kidnapping.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? White Christmas. And Something for Us to Remember too also qualifies. You have to read them to know why 😊😉

8. Do you get hate on fics? Luckily, I'm not popular or interesting enough for that 😅

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes! Oh, all kinds! The worst thing I've ever written came before I started my fanfic writing career (I used to be involved in forum RP, I'm less active there now) and... nope, I'm not going to write about it here. Too cursed. 🙈🙈 If you want to see some sane smut I've written, check out Game On, Boyfriend! I hope I'll write another barbecuing fic soon, so stay tuned.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I don't. But I'd love to see a TWW/NCIS crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but if anyone's interested, go ahead.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I haven't. The closest thing to co-writing fics was RP-ing which is sort of similar, but not really lol. It might be fun, so if anyone's interested in writing with me, let me know.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Abbey/Jed! There are many ships I love, but I have to go with my horny nerds.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? There was a WIP I started last year, the first fic I posted, but I ended up deleting it, so it's not very likely that I'll ever finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm really, really good at research lol! If I'm writing a fic set in the 1960s, I'll make sure that they're eating food, wearing clothes, listening to music etc. that was popular in that period. You won't catch any of my characters wearing historically inaccurate shoes. I'm also really good at digging up random canon details and writing thousands of words around them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plot lmao. I write fics about nothing, it's just banter and nerdiness, with the characters and/or the author showing off 🤣🤣

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Hmmm... I don't know, don't think I've ever needed to do it, but I guess it depends on what I want to achieve, I might write it in English and add a dialogue tag like "she said in French" or something.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The first fandom I published a fic for was The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, but the first fandom I wrote for was Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Can't choose only one, so have a few of them:

Breathe: Once again, Abbey is reminded how cruel the world can be towards women. 

No one asked Jed what he was wearing when he took the censure. 

Anything Else I Need to Know: Josh finally opens the door to his room and slumps on his unmade bed.

Next time, he’s going to pay attention. He’s going to pay attention to Mrs. Landingham’s notes on the Governor's schedule. And he’s going to pay attention to Mrs. Landingham’s instructions, so he’ll know what her notes on the Governor’s schedule actually mean. Next time, he’s going to pay attention.

Had Josh been paying attention, he would’ve noticed when the Governor dashed across the hall and up the stairs right after lunch. Had he been paying attention, he would’ve noticed Leo’s smirk that followed the Governor’s departure. Had he been paying attention, perhaps he would’ve noticed the soft, rhythmic squeaking of the bed and muffled gasps and groans coming from the Bartlets’ suite right before he opened the door.

Well, too bad that Josh wasn’t paying attention.

And Something for Us to Remember too: “I take it your conversation with Doug didn’t go well?”

“I spoke slowly and I didn’t use big words, but I couldn’t talk him out of marrying Liz. Maybe I should’ve taken him on a hike. A six-hour hike through Vermont wilderness in the dead of winter would’ve changed his mind.”

“It wasn’t a six-hour anything! I was there, Jed, you were only gone for two hours.”

“You weren’t there, Abigail, you were baking with your mother, while I was fighting for dear life, braving the cold and wolves and bears.” He sighs and adds, “Guess it’s too late to take Doug hiking now and leave him for the bears.”

White Christmas: “’She – New Hampshire – is one of the two best states in the Union. Vermont’s the other’, said Robert Frost, your favorite poet, who also happened to be the poet laureate of Vermont.” Abbey made a dramatic pause and gave Jed a pointed look.

“She’s one of the two best states in the Union. Vermont’s the other.” She continued her performance. “And the two… the two lie like wedges, thick end to thin end and thin end to thick end.”

Jed chuckled.

“Sweet Knees, we’ll lie like wedges, thick end to thin end and thin end to thick end any time you want,” he leered at her, “on our bed, in front of the fireplace, on the kitchen table…” his smirk grew when Abbey’s lips curved into a little smile and her cheeks flushed, “but Robert Frost named his poetry collection New Hampshire, not Vermont.”

“Well, I’m going to write the words ‘Freedom and Unity’ on the pie and you’re going to eat them!”

The First Lady: “Mrs. Landingham withholds food from me,” he complained.

“Because I asked her to.”

“Yeah, cause you don’t want me eating real food like steaks or hamburgers. She won’t let me have a banana.”

“I’m sure you did something to piss her off.” Abbey shrugged.

“Do you two enjoy torturing me?”

“Yes,” she said innocently.

Tagging (no pressure!): @claudiajcregg @onekisstotakewithme @hondagirll @miabicicletta @librarianmouse @holy-ships-x-red-lips

💜💜💜💜💜💜

[2000sgossip]

you  smell  that  ?love  is  in  the  air  !  cupid  is  shooting  his  arrows  into  anyone  around  and  people  are  heart  eyes  towards  their  crushes,  praying  for  that  text  message  to  come  through  that  they’d  love  to  have  you  as  their  valentines.  restaurants  are  booked  to  the  masses,  stocking  up  on  their  staff  and  appetizers  while  bakeries  are  preparing  for  the  heart  shaped  cakes  and  strawberries  dipped  in  chocolate;  hotels  rushing  to  get  themselves  prepared  for  the  reservations  that’ll  be  coming  in.

however,  there’s  one  hater  out  there  —  and  it’s  me,  emily.  valentines  day  continues  to  be  the  stupidest  and  worst  holiday  ever  created;  if  you  need  a  single  day  to  vow  your  love  to  your  significant  other  or  a  day  to  feel  relevant  in  your  relationship,  then  babe,  i  feel  sorry  for  you.  but  apparently,  here  at  2000sgossip,  we’re  supposed  to  support  this  godforsaken  holiday.  

to  make  ourselves  feel  better  on  your  behalf,  we  have  decided  to  throw  a  fun  little  auction  —  organized  blind  dates  by  yours  truly  !  simply  throw  in  your  name  and  we’ll  make  sure  to  mark  you  down  for  a  fun  blind  date  with  one  of  the  many  approachable  singles  within  your  area,  and  only  with  the  small  price  of  a  cash  donation  upon  entering.  however,  there’s  a  catch.  you  must  go  on  your  dates  for  the  donations  to  be  acceptable,  there  is  no  dipping  out  simply  because  you  don’t  like  your  dates  and  do  you  really  want  to  disappoint  us  ?  you’ve  all  seen  what  myself  and  aria  could  be  like.  

so  make  sure  to  send  us  your  names  and  you  will  be  given  a  confirmation  as  well  as  a  link  to  provide  us  with  your  donation.  c’mon,  don’t  you  want  to  thank  myself  and  aria  for  finding  your  one  true  love  ?

ooc  information:

this  is  an  interactive  plotdrop  that  focuses  on  interactions  through  characters  that  may  have  never  had  the  chance  to  interact,  or  to  even  explore  more  dynamics  of  chaos  or  fluff. 

this  is  not  a  mandatory  plotdrop,  your  muses  do  not  have  to  participate  or  you  can  pick  and  choose  which  of  your  muses  will  be  participating,  although  it’s  highly  encouraged  for  individuals  to  participate.

steps  are  easy,  just  send  the  names  of  the  characters  you  want  involved  to  the  gossip  blog  and  we  will  make  a  list  of  those  who  will  want  to  be  involved.  please  make  sure  to  send  in  the  names  by  tuesday,  february  13th,  as  the  pairings  will  be  posted  on  valentines  day  (february  14th)

names  will  be  put  into  a  generator  to  make  sure  that  everyone  is  randomized,  there  will  be  no  hand  picking  by  either  of  the  admins  and  the  dates  will  be  completely  random.  if  there  is  an  uneven  number  within  the  groups,  some  dates  may  have  3  individuals  involved  instead  of  2.

of  course,  this  does  not  mean  that  your  characters  have  to  get  along  or  hit  it  off,  we  encourage  ic  drama  so  take  this  plotdrop  and  definitely  have  fun  with  it  !

“donations”  will  be  $100  for  entry,  which  will  automatically  be  assumed  when  you  send  in  the  characters  names,  and  this  will  be  used  for  a  future  event  or  even  a  future  plotdrop  that  will  technically  be  thanked  by  those  participating.

we  will  be  pairing  in  two  groups.  those  that  are  within  they’re  20s  and  then  those  that  are  over  the  age  of  30.  this  will  make  sure  that  someone  who  is  40+  isnt  paired  with  someone  in  their  young  20s.

there  is  no  deadline  for  these  threads,  however  please  make  sure  to  tag  them  accordingly  so  that  we  can  make  sure  that  people  are  interacting  with  their  partners

overall,  have  fun  with  it  !  and  if  you  have  any  questions,  please  reach  out  to  admins  via  the  discord  channel  or  dms  on  the  main  !