#it's fucked up what they be doing to yall

[sundemonlord]

Chem trails are real.

That's. Just not what their picture shows lmao

Edit: don't bother responding to me. Unlike some of yall I believe my eyeballs and my ability to research across different subjects

There are so many things which are "conspiracies" that were/are talked down by popular scientists and other credentialed types

But like with many things: you can find evidence and OTHER PEOPLE with credentials who say something opposing the popular line

UFOs? Assassination of MLK?

Black government projects?

Our military defense budget, losing trillions of dollars, and the amount of missing people in our country..

Not to mention the actual use of particulates and poison over the populace before?

Please. Please tell me... yall do not think that the government is innocent.

Why would you know of all this other shady shit our government does. How it compartmentalizes and need-to-knows..

And then be like NO WAY THAT WEIRD CONSPIRACY ABOUT [government experimenting/doing something fucked up] IS REAL

Jfc

This shit has been happening since governments. Since people formed groups.

And you have governments, individuals, and others who have access to information and technology that would change our world.

Do not get me started.

You will be shown to be wrong.

i know most people following me dont care about the weather, but i really need to share this because im genuinely gonna throw the fuck up dying of laughter over whoever runs this national weather service account on twitter fighting for their lives

[blackdykegirlblogger]

birthday sex with abby!

a/n: this is pretty sloppy tbh but i'm horny and felt like jotting smth down. she's a capricorn bc i said so.

thinking about how you wanted to surprise abby for her birthday. you had it all set up: breakfast in bed (her favorite: four slices of french toast, scrambled eggs and a large cup of black coffee), reservations at this new italian restaurant she's been dying to go to for weeks now, and your personal favorite: sex.

now granted, yall tended to go at it like rabbits on a daily basis, so it wasn't like fucking was anything new to your relationship. but, it was usually abby who took the reins. and as much as you loved her being in command under you...or above you...or from whatever position she decided on that day, you figured such a special occasion was the perfect time to switch things up a bit.

you gently tiptoed into your shared bedroom, easing the door open with your hips while you balanced her plate and mug. she was the prettiest sight you've ever seen, her usually meticulously done braid all fuzzy and askew as she snored gently. and luckily for you, she refused to ever wear shirts to bed, so her perky tits were loudly and proudly on display. you would honestly take a a picture if your hands weren't so full.

"abs? abby? time for breakfast, baby."

she grunted slightly as her eyes began to open, blinking a couple of times before landing on you. she pushed herself up on her elbows as she took everything in, the largest grin appearing on her face and making you giggle. "well good morning to you too, pretty girl. what's all this for?"

her tits bounced slightly as she adjusted herself into a sitting position, and your eyes were momentarily distracted before you acknowledged what she just said. "...it's your birthday? don't tell me you forgot again." you asked incredulously.

"my...? oh!" she grabbed her phone off the nightstand and checked the date, finally noticing the blaring January 7th on the screen. "well would you look at that?"

you rolled your eyes as you pressed a sloppy kiss on her cheek and handed her her meal. "happy 22nd visit around the sun, dumbass. i love you."

"fuck mama! s-slow downplease-"

if you had a nickel for every time you managed to make abby beg, like genuinely beg for you, you would only have a handful of nickels. as obsessed as she was with you, she was someone who prided herself on maintaining control at all times. it was a rare treat to see her all worked up and desperate (maybe you would get lucky if she was high, but that was a solid maybe), and you engraved the thought in your mind the best you could, knowing damn well this was never happening again..

"nuh uh, birthday girl. let me work, yeah?" you were grinding back against her, bouncing yourself on her strap as you put on a show for her. each movement put an immense amount of pressure on her engorged clit, and she couldn't help but drool at the sight granted to her as she ran her hands up and down your ribs in agony. your pussy was dripping on top of her, trickles of cum staining the silicone attached to her hips.

she swore on her life and everything she loved that she can feel you squeeze around her, your rhythm faltering slightly as you tightened around the base. you had already cum twice, but she always took a bit longer to get there, and you refused to let up until she did. for a second, a split, split, split second, you actually thought that you might've been able to get away with this. yeah, you were definitely going to be punished for it later, but hey! you were feeling good, she was feeling good and that was all that you could register in your cockdrunk mind.

the vibe shifted entirely as you felt her grip on your waist tighten, lifting you off her and turning you around so that you were staring her dead in the eye. despite her flushed cheeks and blown pupils, you could tell that underneath all the lust and desire, she was not pleased. uh-oh.

"who....the actual fuck do you think you are, huh?"

and with that, she began to do what she did best, pumping you up and down like you weighed absolutely nothing. and to her, you truly didn't. her thumb rotated across your clit as you whimpered, the brutal pace making your eyes meet the back of your head.

"nuh-uh" she gleefully mocked your earlier rebuttal, marking your skin with little crescent shaped indents as she rammed you, hard and fast and dizzying. "i want eye contact. and what the birthday girl wants, she gets."

[strang3lov3]

The First Taste

Roman offers you money if you just let him put the tip in. Just the tip, that's all (it's not all).

Tags - smut, loss of virginity, virgin!reader, virginity kink, big dick roman roy, dare i call that cock gargantuan, ludicrously capacious, even? Unprotected piv, fingering, blow jobs, cunnilingus, hand jobs, nipple stim, just the tip (it’s never just the tip) dubcon, manipulation, deception, coercion, betrayal, Roman solicits sex from reader and is also insensitive about stds, pay him no mind. I made myself soaking wet every day while writing this so. Do what you will with that information. 5.8k words. A/N - This is just...smut. Beginning to end. I’m gonna be working on stepdaddy after this, probably write a stepdaddy sick fic cuz I feel kinda like shit. Kisses to all yall sluts 😘

Finally, some fucking quiet. For now. 

The couple in the hotel room next to yours has been going at it all night, a marathon of fucking. Endless moans, rhythmic squeaking of the bed becoming louder and faster, then quieter and slower. This couple makes you wonder if their room is the honeymoon suite or something, the way they’re fucking like a couple of newly-wed bunnies. You rest against the plush headboard, closing your stinging eyes momentarily. 

You dipped from the wedding an hour or so ago, maybe closer to two hours at this point. It’s about midnight now. You’re alone in your room, crinkling the once neatly made bedding as you play a dumb little game on your phone. Your mind wanders as you mindlessly tap the screen, thinking about what the couple next door is doing. What he’s doing to her, what she’s doing to him. How good it all feels, probably. You wonder what it’s like. 

Knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock–

Roman. You don’t even have to look through the peephole to know it’s him. Nobody else knocks like that, and nobody else would show up at your door at this particular hour. You sigh as you get out of bed, taking heavy steps toward the door before opening it. 

“Evening, sexpot. You have something of mine and I’d like it back, please and thank you.” 

Roman’s still wearing the outfit he wore during the wedding, though missing his suit jacket and tie. The sleeves of his white button down shirt are rolled above his elbows, there’s an extra button undone. Once neatly slicked back, his hair is now disheveled, a few loose strands falling over his eyebrows. His eyes are half-lidded, lips curled into that smug, casual, infuriatingly handsome smirk he always wears. He looks gorgeous. 

“I do?” you ask, thinking before remembering quickly. “Oh, shit. Yeah, I do.” You open the door wider and make space to allow him to follow behind you, Roman first closing the door. You unplug his charger from the wall outlet and wrap the cord in a figure-eight around your fingers, some habit you’re not sure where or when you picked up. Roman holds out his hand and you place the charger in his palm. “So is the wedding finally over?”

“Mhm. You vanished on me, though, Cinderella. I thought I’d get at least a dance out of you but you stood me up, you heartbreaker, you. Felt like a virgin on prom night,” Roman laments with a dramatic flair, no real hurt in his tone. “But I’ll live. Me and some bridesmaid-chick totally dry humped on the dance floor, so it all worked out.”

You know he’s teasing, probably lying. Embellishing the truth. But it makes you squirm just the same, and you’re not totally sure why. You could be a little jealous, maybe. But there’s another reason, too.

“Anyway, uh. Thanks. I’ll leave you to it,” Roman says, toying with the charger cord. 

“No, thank you. Came in hand–” 

“Oh, fuck, like that. Just like that, harder, harder, fuck, ohhhh!” 

You’re interrupted by the sounds of your temporary neighbor’s moans that you’ve become very well-acquainted with. “Oh my god,” you mumble, rolling your eyes. 

Roman’s lips curl into an even wider smile, his eyes lighting up as he raises his eyebrows. “Oh, nice!” he says, giggling, “Man. That’s awesome. Lucky you, with your front row seat to the show. Maybe there’s a hole in the wall behind this mirror or something. You should see if you can watch.”

“They’ve been going at it for hours,” you deadpan. 

Roman nods in approval, that big, stupid smile still on his lips. “Awh, fuck yeah. Good for them. You should ask to join. We both could, actually. Let’s go knock.”

Your cheeks heat up at the idea, even knowing Roman’s not serious. Probably not serious, at least. Roman notices this, takes mental notes of your flustered expression, how you look anywhere but at him. The shifting of your feet, the unnecessary movements your body makes as you squirm. “Ahh, too shy. I get it,” Roman says. “So you’re just - you’re…what, jerking off to it in here, all by your lonesome? Fuck, did I interrupt? How rude, let me get out–”

“No!”

“No? You want me to stay?”

“No - you - I–” you huff, closing your eyes as you inhale and exhale a deep breath. “I meant that I’m not…you know. Doing that.”

Roman’s eyes sparkle. “It’s okay, you can admit it. I know you ladies are more, you know - audio than visual.” He wiggles his fingers by his ears as he paces slowly around the room, inspecting the slice of cake you brought back with you from the wedding, swiping a bit of frosting off the plate with his finger before sucking on it.

“Stop it, Roman.”

“I think I’m gonna stay a while, if you don’t mind. Listen to the music.”

“Whatever, knock yourself out. I’m not sleeping as long as they’re still doing it.” 

True to his word, Roman listens intently to the sounds of the couple fucking. You wouldn’t expect anything else from him. He makes little faces of intrigue or surprise at the noises, the extra loud moans or the occasional smack. You regret allowing him to stay. This is so fucking awkward, so you distract yourself by tidying up your already-pristine hotel room. Rearranging some glasses that haven’t been touched, then pouring yourself another glass of water even though you’re not actually thirsty. Roman notices all of this, too. At some point his attention shifts from the muffled noises coming from the other side of the wall to you, how you nervously flit around the room. He decides to up the tension, to make it all worse for you.

“We should fuck,” he says plainly. “You know, louder than them. Establish our dominance. There’s a bed right there.” 

It takes you a second to reply. “Funny,” is all you say, your voice coming out quietly and not very confident. Fuck. 

“You’re very shy about it, you know that?”

“Shy about what?”

“Oh, fucking - c’mon. You know what,” he deadpans. “Sex! Coitus. Fornicating. Love mak–”

“No, yeah. I got it–”

“Fucking,” Roman interrupts. “So why are you all shy about it?”

“I’m not - I’m not shy,” you stutter.

“But you are. Because you don’t talk about it, ever. You like, clam up, get all fuckin’ weird and quiet,” Roman says, gesturing to you. “And like right now, you won’t even look at me. It’s almost like you’re nervous or something. Are you?” he pauses, “Nervous, that is?”

You’re feeling defensive now, cornered, as Roman’s wedged himself deep under your skin. “No, I just - what does it matter, Roman?” you snap. Sighing, you sit on the edge of the bed and cross your arms. 

“I just wanna know, that’s all. Just curious,” he replies, tempering his tone to be much less pointed, less mocking. “You know me. No judgement here.”

“I just…don’t feel the need to talk about it, I guess.”

“You can’t even say it,” Roman digs, crossing his arms. “Are you a prude? Is that it?”

“No, Roman, I’m not a prude. It’s just a very personal thing for some people.”

“Naturally.”

“Not that you’d understand,” you bite.

Roman presses a hand against his chest, pretending you’ve just shot him. “Ouch. But yeah, no, I get it.” Roman pauses, then joins you on the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. “Is it herpes?” he whispers. “It’s herpes, isn’t it? You know, there’s no shame in it. I’ve actually created new strains of STDs myself in the course of all of my sexcapades. And look at me, I’m not ashamed,” he smiles, stifling a giggle at his own joke.

“If that’s true, Roman, you really should be. And don’t be facetious. That’s not something to laugh about.”

“No, you’re right, I’m sorry,” he concedes, the apology devoid of any sincerity at all. “So are you saving it for marriage, then? Gonna give Mr. Right your most precious gift?”

You freeze then. Roman’s getting warmer, burning hot. It’s not the truth, but it’s not…not…the truth. An inch away from uncovering your big secret, that you’re a virgin. Never had sex, not once. 

It must be written all over your face in big, bolded letters or something, because Roman’s face twists in realization. His eyes are sparkling, jaw dropped in an open, wry smile. “Holy fuck,” he scoffs. “You’re shitting me. Virgin?! You’re a virgin? Oh my god, gross. Ew,” he laughs, turning your cheek to force you to look at him. 

It makes you feel bad inside. Insecure. Your bottom lip quivers a little as tears well up in your eyes, that awful feeling of embarrassment taking over every one of your senses. Face hot, ears pounding, the walls closing in. “Roman,” you whisper, tilting your chin down to hide yourself.

“Hey - heyyy. Don’t fuckin’...don’t be like that,” he says, tilting your face back up. Roman laughs, then makes a sympathetic expression as he pulls you close, wrapping his strong arms around you in a tight hug. Some of your tears soak the collar of his shirt as he presses your face into his shoulder. “I’m very sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I took it too far, that’s on me. I’m sorry. Hey–” Roman nuzzles your hair, “I mean it. I’m sorry.” 

You don’t say anything. You’re too pissed to speak but even if you weren’t, you’re not sure that you could conjure up any sort of response to…whatever the fuck just happened.

“It’s not so terrible, being a virgin.” Roman offers, rubbing your back soothingly as he kisses the top of your head. “There’s worse things to be.” 

“Yeah? Like what?” you ask, voice muffled as you mumble into his shirt. 

“Like…fuckin’ dead, I guess.” Roman thinks for a second, “Or ugly. And you’re not that, so…”

“Thanks, Rome,” you reply flatly. 

“And guys like virgins,” he adds. “Like, do you know how much some creeps would pay to fuck virgin pussy?”

“Uhh…”

“Millions. They’d pay millions,” Roman says, taking note of how your ears perk up at the statement, the incredulous look you give him. “Yeah, now that’s interesting to you, isn’t it? Shit, I’d pay you for it. Let’s skip the middleman, huh?”

“What? No.” You pull away from Roman’s arms. 

“Yes. Why not?”

Why not? Just the littlest amount of pushback from Roman and you’re already questioning the lines you’ve drawn in the sand for yourself. For a moment, you contemplate the idea of having sex with Roman, and you’re tempted - his naked body on yours, pleasuring you in a way you’ve never felt at the hands of someone else before, his attention all on you. His perfect, soft lips on yours as he swallows your moans, loving you the way you deserve. But ultimately you decide no, it’s not happening. It can’t happen. Not like how he’s suggesting. He doesn’t have the capacity to handle something like this with any amount of respect or tact.

“I don’t know, Roman. I guess that I always envisioned my first time having sex being with someone that I love. Or trust, at the very least.” 

“And you don’t trust me?”

You scoff “Fuck, no.”

“Yeah, that’s smart,” Roman nods. “Okay, fine. I won’t pressure you. You save that special little gift of yours for someone who deserves it.” 

You nod as you look down at the floor, tracing the pattern in the carpet with your eyes, gasping when you feel Roman touch your bare knee. “Or…” he murmurs.

“Or?”

Roman’s had the idea of screwing you in his head for a while now, and by his own admission, is especially turned on at the prospect of being the first one to fuck you. It fills him with a primal sort of feeling, knowing that at least for a moment, you’d be his. Your first lover’s name you’d moan would be his, your first orgasm at the hands of another will belong to him only, forever. There’s something about taking your virginity that fills him with a sickening, all-consuming sort of need. He’ll do it, too. By any means necessary.    

“Just the tip,” he whispers, his warm hand sliding up your thigh to toy with the edge of your pajama shorts. He wriggles them even higher, not stopping even when you hold your breath and grab his wrist to keep him from traveling further. “Chill. I’m not doing anything,” Roman mumbles, sliding his hand out from under yours to take your hand and put it flat on the bed. He holds your thigh again and speaks slowly, quietly, “You just let me put the tip in and I’ll pay you the same. Whatever - whatever fuckin’ number you want, alright? Put however many zeroes at the end, and it’s yours…if you just let me put the tip in. Sounds easy enough, right?”

“Just the tip,” you repeat quietly, thinking…thinking that it sounds like bullshit, and yet, you’re kind of falling for it anyway. He makes you feel stupid, even when he’s not insulting you.

Roman speaks again before you can talk yourself out of it. “Just the tip,” he lies. “So long as I don’t - you know, fully penetrate you - technically, you’d still be a virgin by the end of our little thing.”

“You’re saying it wouldn’t count?” 

Roman nods his head. “Wouldn’t count at all. It’s…a loophole of sorts,” he says, tracing his fingertips up and down your thigh, inching closer and closer to where he wants to feel you the most. “Virginity stays intact. C’mon,” he urges.

You’re fighting yourself. Roman can see the temptation and the self-preservation fighting each other in your mind, and he can’t let the smarter, safer side of you win this. 

“You’ve got nothing to lose,” he adds. And he’d get to satisfy a curiosity, but that’s not something he needs to tell you. 

“I don’t know, Rome. It - something about it makes me nervous.”

“I know. But I’ll be gentle with you, alright? I’ll take it nice and fuckin’ slow, walk you through the whole thing. No surprises.” Roman shifts a little and reaches into his pocket for his wallet, then pulls out a stack of bills, all hundreds, and places them on your nightstand. “There. Call it a fuckin’...deposit or whatever, I don’t know. Now do we have a deal or not, virgin?”

You bite your lip as you think - or do something resembling thinking, rather. You can’t think clearly, not with Roman’s hands now on your waist. He doesn’t have to touch you anywhere private or sensitive - just his hands on your body is enough to make your brain fucking melt, you poor thing. Don’t even know how badly you need it, need him. Roman will make it all better. Fix you. 

“C’mon, baby,” he whispers, his hot breath tickling your ear. He presses a couple of kisses against the side of your neck, feeling your pulse beneath his tongue as he licks you there. You let out a broken moan in response, nodding urgently. Roman smiles against your skin in satisfaction. “Attagirl,” he murmurs, then pulls away from you. Your pupils are blown wide, lips parted. Perfect. 

He dims the lamps around the room and turns off the overhead lights, casting the room in a warm, orange glow before joining you on the bed again. “Let’s fuckin’ do this thing. You ready?”

“I don’t - I don’t -”

Roman calms you down before you spiral. “Shh, relax. Relax. We’re going slow, like I said,” he reminds you. “God, you’re so fuckin’...c’mere.” 

Roman puts both of his strong hands on your face, thumbs on your jaw, the rest of his fingers firmly pressing into your neck. He pulls you close and kisses you, and his lips feel even better than they look. You let out a little noise that Roman doesn’t acknowledge; he only continues to move his lips tenderly against yours, deepening the kiss when you begin to reciprocate. 

He’s an excellent kisser. The way he uses his tongue makes you feel dizzy and sets your whole body on fire, and you feel his hands everywhere. Your face, your neck, your waist, digging his fingers into you and squeezing you like he loves you. “Gimme these.” Roman takes your hands in his own and puts them on his own shoulders, his silent way of showing you how it all should be done as he inches closer to you. 

He’s warm, warmer than you imagined. Warm in a comforting way. He smells so…him. Slightly sweaty, but not in a bad way, with his cologne worn down to its base notes. He tastes good, but you couldn’t even begin to describe. You’d be content with just this tonight, really. 

Roman deepens the kiss and lays you down gently, caging you in with his body. You’re still feeling out of your depth, unsure of where or how or if you should even touch him, though Roman doesn’t seem to mind. Of course he doesn’t mind. He’s got only one thing on his brain, and that’s ruining you. Touch him however you like or don’t touch him, he doesn’t give a fuck. 

His fingers crawl beneath your shirt, climbing up your body until he’s squeezing gently at the flesh of your breasts. You gasp when he rubs his thumb in circles over your nipple, feeling it harden with his touch. “Rome-” you breathe, clutching his bicep. 

“It’s okay,” he tells you, repeating the action with your other nipple, causing you to writhe beneath him. “I gotta get you ready for it, sweetheart.”

Roman pushes your shirt up as high as it’ll go, and kisses your neck, dragging his tongue down your skin. He uses the muscle to tease one of your nipples, putting to use his lips and teeth as well. His hands travel down your body, fingers passing over the neat little bow at the front of your pajama bottoms as they slide down towards your center.

You gasp when you feel him touch you there, just over the fabric. Roman groans as he rubs his fingers, feeling how you’ve soaked yourself. “Yeah, you weren’t fuckin’ lying, were you? Made a goddamn mess down here,” he mumbles, pressing little kisses against your neck. 

“Lying about what?” you breathe.

Roman has to stifle his laugh so as not to embarrass you, but you are such a cliche, absolutely drenched from a bit of kissing. Too easy. “Shh, nothing,” he says. “Nothing. You’re fine.” Roman pulls your panties and shorts to the side, exposing your cunt to himself. “Has anyone ever touched you here before?”

You shake your head. “Mm-mm.”

Roman only nods as pulls your thighs apart, and your heart pounds hard. He traces your lips only momentarily before diving between your folds, feeling the pool of arousal he’s caused. 

“Fuck,” you moan, eyes squeezing shut as you arch into his touch. “R-Roman, Roman…”

“Ohh, man, you’re sensitive,” Roman laughs quietly, rubbing lazy circles over your clit. “Holy fuck. That feel good? Huh, virgin?”

“Yeah,” you whimper, squeezing his forearm and bicep with your hands as if to anchor yourself or something. You feel like you’re gonna break. Everything feels heightened, but sort of sharp and fuzzy at the same time. Your head spins, and you can’t keep track of your thoughts. 

You whine when Roman pushes his middle and ring fingers into your pussy, pumping them in and out slowly. “How does that feel?” he asks.

“Good, kinda - uh…kind - kind of hurts.”

“You gotta relax,” he tells you, “ It’s okay.”  

Roman shifts a little and smiles at you before curling his fingers, stroking that special, sensitive little place deep inside your cunt you’ve probably never found on your own before. By the way your eyes roll back into your head and how you squeeze your legs shut around his arm, Roman guesses he’s right. “Oh my - fuck, Rome, that - you–” Your voice comes out in broken, breathy moans and you don’t bother finishing your sentence. All you can do is bury your face into his neck and try not to shatter into a million pieces. 

Roman fingers you like that for a minute or two longer, listening to those wet noises your cunt makes for him, then slows down his movements before pulling away. “You’re ready for it,” he tells you.

“I am?”

“Absolutely.” 

Roman leans back and sits you up, then pulls off your shirt without saying so much as a single word. He does the same to your shorts and panties, tossing them into a crumpled pile on the carpet. The way you squirm and hide yourself makes Roman smile. “Don’t be shy. I need to be able to see what I’m working with, right?”

“Yeah, no. That makes sense.”

“Hold on.” Roman unbuttons his shirt and shrugs it off, pulling off his undershirt too. His bulge is sizable in his black slacks, and when he unbuckles his belt and pulls the rest of his clothes off, his hard cock slapping against his tummy, your eyes widen. His dick is massive. The tip reaches his belly button, and it’s curved beautifully, slightly to the right. Roman wraps his fingers around it and squeezes, knuckles whitening a little.

“Y-you’re fucking huge,” you stutter.

“I know, right? It’s Roman Roy’s best kept secret.” He smiles wide, pleased with himself as he winks at you. “Alright. Spread those legs and let’s fuckin’ party.” Roman reaches for your ankles and pulls them apart, eyebrows raising when you fight to keep them closed. 

“No! No, don’t.”

“...No?” Roman drops your ankles and sits back, eyeing you. “Scared?”

“Very.” 

He chuckles. “You’ve never even felt a cock before, have you?” Roman asks, stroking his cock slowly. You shake your head and he nods in understanding. “Wow, it really is all new to you. That’s my bad, sweetheart.” 

Roman lays down next to you again, this time flat on his back. He shifts a little and grabs your wrist, guiding your hand to his cock. “Get to know it a little. Just touch it, however you want,” he instructs. Roman waits for you to touch him, but you’re frozen. He raises an eyebrow, “It’s not gonna bite you.”

“I know, I just don’t know…don’t know what to do.”

Roman says nothing, only presses your fingertips against the large, blunt head of his cock. “Like this,” he says, dragging your fingers down his shaft. He wraps your fingers around his length, then lets you go. Your turn.

You slide your palm up and down his dick, just…taking it all in. His cock feels heavy in your hand which doesn’t surprise you, but you’re struck by his warmth, the heat radiating from him. You trace his veins, then squeeze him slightly in your fist, feeling him throb a little. 

Roman patiently lets you explore, despite it being an excruciating tease, groaning softly as he tilts his head back. “Now when you do this for real, with your Mr. Right or whoever,” Roman says, “Don’t just tease him like this. You’ll piss him off,” he warns.

“I will?”

“Oh yeah. No, you’re even pissing me off a little bit. Like, if this weren’t a teaching moment, I’d fuck you in two for this shit.” Roman words scare you a bit, and you stop touching him. “Relax, will you? It’s not gonna happen. You’re in good hands.” 

“Okay.”

“Let me show you what to do instead.” Roman takes your hand again, this time spitting in it. “You grab it like you mean it,” he says, wrapping your fingers tightly around his cock, tighter than you would have done yourself. “And–” Roman slides your palm up and down his length, helping you to maintain that firm pressure, “You go all the way up, all the way down. Like - fuck - yeah, like that. You’re a fuckin’ natural, virgin, look at you.”

Roman lets you work him on your own, simply enjoying the feel of your hand on his cock. He thinks it’s cute when you circle his tip with your fingers - it’s not something he taught you to do, but he doesn’t mind it. 

“Does this feel like, good?”

“Feels awesome. But,” Roman purrs, “You know what’d feel even better?”

“What?”

“You gotta be brave, sweetheart. Do you want to be brave for me?”

You’re not feeling very brave or adventurous but you nod a little anyway, and Roman jumps at the opportunity. He moves you down the bed, sitting you down between his thighs that are spread wide. “You’re gonna suck my dick,” he tells you, grabbing your face with one of his hands. “Don’t freak out, okay? You’re gonna be fine. Open your mouth.” 

Roman holds his thick cock between his thumb, middle, and forefingers. He taps the head against your bottom lip, encouraging you to open wider. When you open your mouth more, Roman lowers your head and fits himself between your lips, simply letting you get used to the feeling of him there. It takes a lot of patience on his part, to not fuck your mouth here and now. 

You’re not sure what to do, and Roman knows this. Tangling his fingers in your hair, he bounces your head just a little on his cock, your tongue sliding over his weeping slit. The taste of his precome surprises you - it’s a salty, warm, masculine sort of flavor that you don’t really mind. You’re pleased by how soft his skin feels, how he smells. Gaining confidence, you take him deeper into your mouth.

If Roman were a better man, he’d stop you - he’d warn you that you’re going to choke on his cock, that it’s gonna be too much too quickly. But that’s not Roman, not by a long shot. He inches you further down his cock with each bob of your head, grinning at the way you gurgle and sputter a little. “Little more,” he says. “Keep going.”

Cock in mouth, drool dripping down your chin, you look at Roman, searching for some sort of approval or encouragement. “You got it. And use your tongue, sweetheart. You can make a mess on me. You should, actually.”

You move your tongue in inconsistent patterns, swirling it around his length as Roman moves your head. “Breathe through your nose,” he instructs. “You’re doing so well.”

 He lets out soft little groans and his eyes shut for a moment, lips parted. Saliva is running down his cock and your jaw is beginning to ache from his girth, but Roman ignores your noises of discomfort and the tears in your eyes. He fucks himself deeply into your mouth, pushing you far past the point he should. Then suddenly, you gag and cough harshly, pulling yourself off of him. “Oh, fuck. Fuck,” you spit.

Roman rubs your back and stretches across the bed, reaching for your glass of water. “You’re good, you’re alright,” he says, pressing the glass against your lips. “Have some water. You’re not supposed to take me all at once, virgin. That’s how you choke,” he taunts.  

After finishing the water, Roman takes your glass and sets it back on the nightstand. “Alright. Back to you, sweetheart. Lie back and spread your legs for me.” 

You tremble a little as you lie down, parting your legs only a little. You feel the bed shift with Roman’s moving weight and close your eyes, nervously anticipating the inevitable. 

Roman pushes your knees toward your chest and lowers himself, smirking at how tense you look with your short breaths, your fingers fidgeting with the comforter. He could warn you of what’s to come with a couple of kisses pressed against your inner thighs, but it’ll be more fun to surprise you. 

He licks your sex from bottom to top with a flat tongue, dragging it slowly through your folds. “Roman,” you gasp, hands darting for his head. You tangle your fingers in the sleek strands of his hair, tugging on them tightly. “You - you’re–”

“Shh,” he interrupts. His stubble scratches your inner thighs as he teases you, tongue circling your clit. Roman buries himself in that softest and most private place on your body, rubbing the tip of his perfect nose against your clit as he tastes you. He circles your entrance a couple of times before dipping inside, tasting your arousal right from the hole it trickles from. 

You’re babbling incoherently, whimpering his name as he then drags his tongue up and down your folds. He circles your clit once, then twice, then pulls the hood back and laves over the sensitive bud repeatedly, forcing you to lie still with a strong hand holding you down. He savors you like this, how you shudder and shake, muscles tensing as you fight to close your legs, not used to a feeling so intense. Roman fucks you with his tongue, guiding you through the first orgasm you’ve ever shared with another as you gush into his mouth, clit throbbing under his tongue. 

When Roman pulls away, you feel like you could cry. You bite your bottom lip to keep it from wobbling and try to will away that pressure building behind your eyes, but it’s hard. You wonder if Roman notices. 

“Now you’re really fuckin’ ready,” he tells you. 

“Okay,” you breathe, voice shaking. “Just the tip?”

“Mhm. Just the tip,” Roman confirms. He hovers over you and reaches between your legs to gather your arousal on his fingertips, then coats his cock in your slick. When he presses the thick head of his dick against your pussy, your heart races. You can’t conjure the words to tell him what you need, and urgently take his free hand in yours. 

“You wanna hold my hand?” Roman smirks and laces his fingers between yours, pinning your hand against the bed. “We can hold hands, sweetheart.” And then, in one swift, brutal motion, Roman fully buries his cock fully inside you. 

It sends you reeling. He’s so huge, it feels like he’s splitting you in two. You feel betrayed and try to squirm away, but Roman forces you to stay down with a hand on your ribcage. Forces you to take it, to feel it all. “Shhh, shh. You’re - hey - you’re fine.” Roman catches the free hand you use to try and shove him backwards and pins it to the bed with the other. 

“Y-you–” you sob, unable to form a sentence. 

“Ohhh, I know, I know, I know,” Roman coos mockingly. “I played a dirty trick on you, huh? Wasn’t very nice of me, was it?”

You look at Roman and cry, tears falling down your temples and into your hair. With his hand still clutching yours, he uses your own knuckles to wipe some tears away. “Poor thing. You’ll get used to it.” 

“But you said–”

“I know what I said,” Roman interrupts. “It’s never just the tip, baby, you know that. Or–” Roman pauses, thrusting into you deeply, “Maybe you really don’t know that. But this is real life, sweetheart. It’s a cruel fuckin’ world out there.” 

Roman sets a pace then, drawing in and out of you. Not particularly harshly or quickly, because the penetration alone hurts enough. He rocks his hips, pulling out of you and filling you up all the way with every stroke. 

“Roman, stop–”

“No. Fucking take it.”   

Roman ignores your sounds of discomfort, going so far as to cover your mouth instead. Your sobs are muffled under his palm, skin dampening with tears and saliva. Roman builds the tempo, lips curled into that awful, lopsided smile. “Listen to yourself. You’re fuckin’ soaked, do you hear that?” he taunts through a strained breath. 

The pain is utterly blinding, until it isn’t. You almost resent the way the hurt is replaced with pleasure now, because the betrayal is still there. Betrayal by Roman, and now by your own body. This…this isn’t what you were promised. You trusted Roman and he exploited that, but you’re fucking enjoying it.

Roman’s palm tastes salty over your mouth. When he removes it, a moan slips past your lips, and Roman grins. “Yeah, there it is. Not so terrible, huh, baby?”

You free your hands from his grip and wrap your arms around his shoulders, which is the only thing that feels right. You don’t entirely know why, you just know that you need him close. Roman pulls back a little to watch you, his greenish, hazel eyes darkened with something primal as he pulls out of you and pushes into you, again and again and again. You bury your face in his neck as he fucks you, and one of his hands slide up your torso to grope your breast and tease your nipple.

“Your pussy feels so fuckin’ good,” Roman grunts, rutting his hips into you. He’s in love with all of this, in truth. Addicted. How soft your body is for him, for his hands to squeeze and his fingers to dig into. He could fucking eat you. 

He fits his hand between your bodies, the heel of his palm pressing into your pubic bone. He rubs your clit in circles, thrusting into you harder, faster, deeper. “Look at me. Right here” he pants, using his free hand to hold your face. “Come on my cock. Come for me, sweetheart.”

He pulls your orgasm from you effortlessly. Roman’s name spills from your lips in choking sobs as you come on his cock, feeling impossibly full as your cunt pulses around him. It’s the heaviest, most overwhelming feeling, washing over you in waves, muscles spasming and twitching. Roman’s thrusts turn frenzied and frantic, and there it is - he’s coming too. Milking himself inside you, spurting thick, hot ropes of his come, and you take all of it. 

Roman pulls out of you then, and uses two fingers to push his escaped spend back inside your poor, raw, throbbing cunt. This time, you do cry. “Ohh, come here,” Roman says softly. He scoops you up into his arms and holds you tightly, stroking your hair. “You okay?”

“No,” you sniffle. 

“No?” Roman repeats, momentarily moving you to lean over the bed. He reaches for his pants and grabs his phone out of the pocket, then takes his place next to you again, pulling you into his side tightly. “You’ll get over it. Watch,” he murmurs, unlocking his phone and opening Venmo. He pulls up your profile and shows you the screen, the little blue cursor blinking. You type in a number, then give the phone back to Roman, who adds an extra zero before tapping Pay.

If you enjoyed, please lmk ♡ i love when you reblog and send me asks. It means the world to me ♡

romey tags

@goldenispunk @littlevenicebitch69 @gaeela-6 @bean-is-reading @slutsoutgutsout

@galarian-weezing-on-prep @cum-a-calla @pastelpinkflowerlife @kolsmikaelson @moth-maam56

@kothku @cult-of-escapism @swiftiegirliepop @bluecookies-and-ink @romanarose

@kappasbbgirl @magpiepills @highinmiamiii @verstappensrealwife @thesummerpetrichor

@lilipads @luiscarrutherss @baronessvonglitter @myromeow

@ovaryacted @doll-0f-flesh @always-andromeda @causesimmer @pedropascalbabygirl

@baloobalee @slimybeth69 @pearlstiare @romanisbrat @callsignwidow @ziggymars

@/perpetuallymanic @/111melo @/veryverycoolgirl @/marisemonteiroo

[da3h0lovr]

Mine.

Nsfw under the cut!!

MDNI

A/N: My bae Myung-gi needs some more recognition!!!! Soo.. here's a smut about him🤭

Pairing(s?): Lee Myung-gi x F!Reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Slight choking, reverse cowgirl, brief degrading, PiV unprotected (wrap ur willy!!!), Cumming inside, mentions of breeding, slightly public sex (js a guard outside), overstimulation, fingering, squirting.

WC: eh idk, it's kinda short

Myung-gi had a hand on your throat, the other on your waist, holding you still as he thrusted up into your tight heat.

"Fuuuck.." he moans out, his noises breathy. The squelching noises eliciting each time he re-entered you only made him closer to a release. "You think I'd let you just talk to Thanos like that? What are you, huh?" He growls into your ear, grunting in between a few words.

"Y-yours.. I'm yours" You whine, letting your head fall back against his shoulder. "That's fuckin' right. Mine." He says, breathing heavily and going even harder. "Now start acting like it." He says, letting out an almost animalistic noise as his cock twitches violently inside your pulsating heat.

His grip on your neck tightens slightly, and his thrusts slowly become sloppy. "Gonna let me cum in this little pussy, yeah?" He asks, knowing he's about to burst since his balls have tightened. "Yes,yes,yes,yes,yes" you babble, drool ever so slightly coming out of the corners of your mouth from how good he's giving it to you.

He thrusts up inside you a few more times before spilling his hot seed inside, letting out a loud groan, not caring that the guard has probably already caught on to what yall are doing. "God yes.. gonna breed you so well" he breathes out, his cock fully inside you, his hips slightly going up and down to fuck his cum inside you reaaaal good.

"So good.." You whimper, hands laid flat against the bathroom stall walls as you press hard. You had already came twice, unable to give him anymore, but he continues to overstimulate you. He slips his cock out of you, immediately shoving two fingers in.

He pumps his fingers inside you, and you can feel a liquid rush through your body. "Myun- angh.." you try to speak, but the mix of pain and pleasure is just too much. He knows exactly what's to come, so he doubles his efforts.

After he pumps his fingers a few more times, your juices come out at a harsh speed, squirting all over his fingers, getting some onto the floor. "There it is.." He says, pulling his fingers out with a sigh. He lifts his fingers to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean.

"Have you learned?" He asks, and you grow confused, your eyebrows furrow as you breath heavily, chest heaving from the intense pleasure you just endured. "Learned what..?" You ask, your voice shy and quiet. He stays silent for a moment, you can't see him, but you can feel his stare on you. "To not speak to any other man so flirtatiously." He says, and you wanted to argue, to say you never flirted. But you simply nod, wanting to just go back to the large dormitory and sleep.

"That's my good girl right there" he mutters in your ear, you can basically hear the smile in his voice. He slides you off of him, putting his clothes back on before helping you back into yours. He cleans up the small puddle on the floor before heading back to the dormitory, holding you in his arms to help you walk.

------------------------------

Sorry for not posting yesterday T . T , I got so busy and had no time to write. I have alot of requests right now so pleaseeee bare with me! I'm trying my best🙁

[hvnlygrl]

Can I request headcanons about jj sneaking around and messing around with reader who is John b's lil sis and eventually getting caught

stealth mode.

pairing — jj maybank x fem!routledge!reader

notes — i love this, i also made the reader adopted to make it a little more inclusive for everyone hope that’s okay!! tysm for the ask 💌

join my follower celebration — until feb. 3rd!

as john b’s younger (by a year) adopted sister, you were constantly around the pogues, not even bothering to find your own friend group.

john b never minded, but he made sure to let pope and jj know that you were off limits, “no exceptions”

jj, of course, was always tempted by that rule, especially breaking it once the two of you shared a drunken kiss under the stars one night.

after that night, the two of you began sneaking around and going behind everyone’s back

you didn’t even tell kie or sarah about your secret relationship (honestly situationship might be better)

hiding behind the chicken coop to steal kisses here and there and slipping into each other’s rooms at night.

you both knew it was only a matter of time before someone pieced together the lingering touches and stares and the coincidental disappearances together.

he’s got a hand cupping your jaw roughly behind the door in the bathroom, kissing you desperately as you begin unbuttoning his jeans.

the two of you are so enthralled in each other that neither of you hear the steps down the hallway.

john b opens the unlocked door mindlessly, scrolling on his phone as he steps into the bathroom

he’s confused when the door doesn’t open all the way, “what the-“ he peeks behind it, eyes going wide at the sight

you gasp in shock, pushing jj away from you instinctively trying to cover up the scene

jj quickly zips his jeans, face going cherry red as he fails to meet eyecontact with his best friend

“jj, what the fuck?” john b screams at the blonde, “y/n, seriously??”

“i-i don’t,” you begin sputtering, heart in your throat as you stare at your big brother

“look man, it’s not her fault,” jj immediately begins covering for you, standing in between you and john b

“how long?” john b ignores the comment, completely furious at the two of you. “how long have yall been doing this shit behind everyone’s backs?”

jj starts thinking, unsure of the real answer, he tries to come up with a better (much shorter) lie

“almost a year,” you blurt out, too scared to lie to john b any further.

after big john died, he basically became your father figure. and even before that, he was always doing everything in his power to protect you.

“a year? what the fuck guys?”

after an hour or so of awkward arguing with john b, he ends up accepting the situation. “fine. just don’t do anything in front of me, i don’t wanna see my best friend all over my sister, it’s bad enough i have to know about it”

realizing that was the best response you were gonna get, you jump up and run at john b, immediately hugging him. “thank you,” you whisper into the crook of his neck.

“don’t mention it,” he mutters back, “like seriously. please don’t”

you giggle at that, hugging him for a moment longer before letting go.

“now get out, i wanna talk to jj for a minute.”

“ruh roh,” you half-joke, “be gentle on him please, JB”

you touch jj’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before heading out, “good luck!”

-> back to my masterlist.

[jhyoos]

REBEL GIRL

Chapter 4: Ugh! As If!

rockstar!sevika x influencer!reader

summary: reader has to suffer the consequences of her actions.

mentions: modern au, fame au, drama, swearing, mommy caitlyn, groping, kissing, neck biting and kissing, drunk truth or dare.

notes : drafts somehow deleted…and I didn’t back it up so im writing off of hopes and dreams. love yall 🫵❤️🎸

chapters : one, two, three, four

The morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the room as you made your way to the bathroom for a much-needed shower. The hot water cascaded down your body, soothing the lingering tension from the previous night’s chaos. You hummed softly to yourself, allowing the steam and the scent of your vanilla body wash to envelop you.

As you rinsed off, faint noises from the room outside caught your attention. You figured it was Caitlyn moving around, likely getting ready for her own day. Brushing it off, you continued to enjoy the quiet moment of solitude.

After about half an hour, you stepped out of the bathroom feeling refreshed, your skin soft and glistening from the lotion you’d applied. A fluffy towel was wrapped securely around you as you walked back into the room, ready to pick out an outfit for the day.

Your peace was short-lived when you noticed someone sitting on your side of the bed. It wasn’t Caitlyn.

“Oh…it’s you,” you said flatly, your tone dripping with irritation as you recognized Sevika lounging on the mattress like she owned it.

She smirked, leaning back slightly, her arms crossed as she watched you. “Good morning to you, too.”

Ignoring her, you made your way to the closet, pulling out your luggage to sift through your clothes. You crouched carefully, mindful of the towel wrapped around you. You knew Sevika was probably watching, and you weren’t about to give her any kind of show.

When you finally found something to wear, you stood up and placed the outfit on the bed. Turning, you noticed Sevika’s eyes still fixed on you, her gaze unrelenting.

“What the fuck do you want?” you snapped, annoyance clear in your voice.

Sevika let out a dramatic sigh, shifting to make herself more comfortable on your side of the bed. “An apology,” she said simply, her tone laced with mock seriousness. “My phone’s been blowing up all morning because of you. Maybe a little…gesture of goodwill would help. Head sounds like a great place to start.”

You glared at her, utterly unamused. “Ugh, as if!” you shot back. “And honestly, you should be happy you’re getting so much recognition. Free publicity.”

Sevika raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed.

Rolling your eyes, you huffed. “Fine. How about this? I’ll buy you food as an apology, and I’ll take care of debunking everything. Happy now?”

She regarded you with a skeptical expression, her eyebrow arching even higher. “Food? It better be something expensive. I’m sure a girl with a four-million-dollar net worth can figure that out.”

You froze, staring at her in disbelief. “Oh my gosh! You stalker…what the fuck? You’ve been looking me up?”

Sevika smirked, standing and stretching as she made her way toward the door. “Yeah. And your dating history, too. You’ve got pretty good taste. Might text one of them later.”

Your jaw dropped. “You—!”

Before you could finish, she opened the door and stepped out, narrowly dodging the pillow you hurled at her.

Her laughter echoed in the hallway as you stood there fuming, shaking your head. “Unbelievable,” you muttered under your breath, already regretting offering to buy her anything.

But as much as she got under your skin, you couldn’t ignore the faint smile tugging at the corner of your lips. Something about Sevika’s audacity was maddeningly entertaining, even if you’d never admit it.

After pulling on your outfit and styling your hair into something effortlessly simple, you grabbed your phone and sat down on the edge of the bed. The articles and posts about you and Sevika were still fresh in your mind, and you knew your manager was probably seconds away from blowing a gasket if you didn’t address the rumors.

You needed a tweet that was professional enough to appease your manager but also blunt enough to shut everyone else up. It took you a moment to think before your fingers began typing.

“Me and Sevika are just friends. If I’m in a relationship, I would’ve already confirmed it by now. Get off my dick and leave my friends alone.”

You reread it once, nodded in approval, and hit “Post.” Within seconds, the tweet was blowing up. Likes, retweets, and comments flooded in, most of them praising your straightforwardness.

(y/n)smaingf: This is why I love her LMAO

viseye: Ugh…I was in the middle of fanart about y’all

sevileftnut: Ya know what…Hell yeah!

You decided not to scroll too much further—no point in diving into the cesspool of opinions. Tossing your phone onto the bed, you grabbed your bag and headed for the door, ready to start the day.

When you got downstairs, the group was already waiting for you in the lobby. Caitlyn leaned against a pillar, her arms crossed, while the others stood or sat around, all wearing smug expressions that immediately annoyed you.

You raised an eyebrow. “What?”

Vi smirked. “We saw the tweet.”

“And?” you asked, exasperated.

“You’re treating us to free food, obviously,” Sevika chimed in, crossing her arms as she leaned casually against the wall. Her smirk was just as infuriating as the rest of them.

You rolled your eyes. “Fine. Free food for everyone. Happy now?”

A cheer went up from the group as you pinched the bridge of your nose, already regretting your generosity. “Can someone at least order the Uber, please?”

Jinx raised a hand. “I guess I’ll do it.” She pulled out her phone and started tapping away.

Caitlyn nudged your shoulder. “You’ve got a way with words,” she said with a small smile.

You shrugged. “Someone had to say it.”

As you waited for the Uber, you dug into your bag and pulled out your mini vlog camera, the familiar weight of it a comforting tool for killing time. “While we wait, let’s make some content, please?” you said, flashing a quick smile as you powered it on. The red recording light blinked on as you turned the lens toward the group, framing yourself and everyone else in the background.

Fixing your hair in the little camera screen, you caught Sevika rolling her eyes in the reflection. “Aye, I can see you, Sev,” you said, turning your head to glare at her playfully.

Sevika leaned back against the wall with her arms crossed, her expression unimpressed. “Hurry up already, princess. The Uber’s gonna be here any minute.”

You ignored her impatient tone with a dramatic sigh, pressing the record button. “Hey, you guys!” you said in your most cheerful voice, pointing the camera at yourself. “Guess what? We’re heading to Five Guys, and I’m paying. This is my charity for the day—I’m feeding starving artists.” You smiled mischievously at the camera before panning it to the band behind you.

The group groaned collectively at your teasing. Jinx leaned into the shot with a smirk. “You do know it’s 1 v 4, right? You’re outnumbered.”

Without missing a beat, you fired back, “Oh, please. I can take you all at once.”

The air froze for a second before Vi raised an eyebrow and burst out laughing. “Woah, that sounded wrong.”

“Oh my god, you freak!” you shouted, clutching your chest dramatically as if offended. The others joined in with their laughter, the sound of it filling the parking lot and making the moment feel more alive.

“Cut the camera, Y/N,” Caitlyn teased, nudging you gently. “Before this vlog turns into a comedy special.”

You shrugged. “Hey, this is pure gold. The fans will love it.”

Sevika, still leaning against the wall, muttered, “Yeah, great. Let them see you lose your mind before dinner.”

“Sev, the only thing I’m losing is patience with your attitude,” you quipped, spinning the camera toward her. She glared at you half-heartedly, but you caught the faintest twitch of amusement in her lips.

Just as you were about to retort, the Uber pulled up to the curb. “Saved by the ride,” Vi joked, pointing to the black SUV.

You turned off the camera, tucking it back into your bag. “Alright, let’s go, starving artists. The food awaits.”

Sevika brushed past you as the group piled into the car, her hand grazing your lower back in a way that felt both accidental and deliberate. “After you, princess,” she said, her voice dripping with mock politeness.

You rolled your eyes, climbing into the back seat. “One of these days, Sev, you’re gonna wish you were nicer to me.”

“Doubt it,” she shot back, settling into her seat. The banter continued as the car pulled into traffic, and you couldn’t help but smirk, already anticipating how the night would unfold.

The ride back from Five Guys was anything but quiet. The car was filled with laughter, teasing, and the occasional groan of someone who had eaten too much. Vi leaned back in her seat, hands on her stomach, a satisfied grin on her face. “Alright,” she announced, “I think I’ve had enough carbs to fuel me for the entire night. I’m officially ready to party.”

Jinx, sitting beside her, raised her hand like she was in class. “I second that! We’re hitting the club tonight, and I’m not holding back.” She leaned forward, grinning at everyone else.

You, however, were still half-reclined in your seat, your head resting against the window as you groaned. “Y’all really have that much energy after all that food? I need at least two naps before even considering going out again.”

As the car pulled up to the hotel, Caitlyn suddenly turned to you, her voice firm. “Not so fast, (Y/N). You’re not going anywhere tonight.” You froze, blinking at her in confusion.

“What? Why?”

Caitlyn crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow. “Because last night was a disaster waiting to happen, and I’m not about to have you causing chaos again.”

The group laughed, but Caitlyn’s expression remained serious, leaving you groaning in protest as everyone else headed up to get ready.

Minutes later, you found yourself sprawled across the bed in your shared room, flipping through channels with one hand and scrolling your phone with the other. The TV droned on about some crime show you weren’t really paying attention to, but it was better than sitting in silence. You huffed in frustration, tossing your phone aside, just as the door creaked open.

“I thought I was locked in,” you said dryly, not bothering to glance up. You assumed it was Caitlyn coming to check on you.

“Guess I’ve got the key,” came a familiar, low drawl.

Your head snapped up to see Sevika leaning casually against the doorframe, her arms crossed, a small smirk tugging at her lips. She was dressed down compared to her usual style, wearing a loose black shirt and jeans. The relaxed look somehow made her even more infuriating.

“What do you want?” you muttered, sulking deeper into the bed.

She shrugged and strolled in, letting the door click shut behind her. “I’m putting myself in time-out too,” she said nonchalantly. “No one’s allowed to have fun without me.” She plopped into the chair near the bed, slouching back as if she owned the place.

You stared at her for a moment, debating whether you wanted company. But as the TV continued to drone on, you sighed, realizing it beat being bored alone. “Fine. If you’re staying, we’re making this interesting.”

Her eyebrow quirked as she watched you sit up, reaching for your suitcase. From its depths, you pulled out a bottle of whiskey, your secret stash for nights like these. You placed it on the nightstand with a sense of finality, grabbing two glasses.

Sevika’s smirk deepened as she leaned forward, elbows on her knees. “Drinking truth or dare?” she asked, her voice tinged with amusement.

“Exactly,” you said, pouring the amber liquid into both glasses before sliding one her way. “Unless you’re scared to play.”

“Scared?” She scoffed, picking up her glass. “You don’t know me at all, princess.”

The game began innocently enough. Sevika dared you to do a horrible celebrity impression, which resulted in a laugh so loud it made her throw her head back. In retaliation, you dared her to sing a verse from a Taylor Swift, and the sound of her gruff voice struggling through the high notes of Lover left you in tears from laughter.

“Alright, truth,” she said after finishing her whiskey, her cheeks faintly flushed.

You grinned mischievously. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done on stage?”

Sevika groaned, her hand rubbing the back of her neck. “I ripped my pants. Front and back. In front of a packed crowd.”

You burst into laughter, nearly spilling your drink. “No way!”

“Swear on it. And I had to play the rest of the set like that,” she admitted, her voice tinged with both embarrassment and pride.

“Legendary,” you said, raising your glass to her.

When it was your turn, Sevika leaned forward, her smirk widening. “Dare,” you said confidently.

“I dare you to prank call your manager,” she said, pulling her phone from her pocket and sliding it over to you.

You grinned as you dialed her number, lowering your voice to imitate a stiff, formal tone. “Hello, this is Officer Jenkins with the local police department. We’ve received a complaint about you being a raging bitch. We got a warrant for your arrest.”

The sound of Lauren’s confused, half-asleep voice on the other end made Sevika snort with laughter. “(Y/N)…I’m not about to play wit—”

By the time you hung up, both of you were doubled over, Sevika clutching her sides.

As the dares and truths became bolder, the atmosphere started to shift. You dared Sevika to share her type, and her answer—“someone bold, someone who doesn’t back down”—came with a pointed look that left your cheeks warm.

“I’m not gonna lie…sounds like you’re describing yourself,” you teased, earning a low chuckle from her.

“Maybe I am,” she admitted, her gaze steady, almost daring you to break eye contact.

When your turn came, you chose dare, feeling emboldened by the whiskey warming your veins.

Sevika leaned forward, a lazy smirk spreading across her lips. “I dare you to sit on my lap.”

Your breath hitched, your cheeks heating, but you weren’t about to back down. “Fine,” you said, standing and walking toward her with as much confidence as you could muster.

Lowering yourself onto her lap, you felt her hands rest lightly on your waist. Her touch was casual, yet it sent a shiver up your spine.

“Comfortable?” she asked, her voice low, her breath warm against your ear.

You cleared your throat, trying to ignore the way your heart raced. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” she replied, her eyes never leaving yours.

You leaned in closer, your faces inches apart, your lips hovering just shy of hers. “I dare you to kiss me.”

Sevika didn’t hesitate. Her hands tightened on your waist as she closed the gap between you, her lips capturing yours in a kiss that was anything but hesitant. Her movements were deliberate, her lips soft but insistent, making your pulse race.

The kiss deepened, her tongue brushing against yours with a confidence that left you breathless. Her hands slid under your shirt, her fingertips grazing your bare skin, sending a thrill through you.

Your fingers tangled in her hair, tugging lightly as her lips trailed from your mouth to your jaw and then to your neck, leaving a heated path of kisses that made you arch into her. She gave you one last kiss on your collarbone before finding your lips again.

Her mechanical hand slid lower, gripping your ass firmly as she shifted you on her lap, pulling you even more against her. The other hand, far from idle, slid under your shirt. Her fingers, rough yet somehow gentle, brushed over your bare skin, grazing your ribcage, going under your bra before boldly cupping your breast. Her thumb flicked over your nipple, sending a jolt of heat straight through your body.

You gasped against her mouth, your hands tangling more in her hair as the kiss deepened. Her tongue swept into your mouth, teasing and dominating in equal measure, leaving you completely breathless. You arched into her touch, your body responding to her as if it had been waiting for this moment. She pulled away and found your neck again, this time leaving love bites.

“Sevika,” you moaned breathlessly, barely managing her name as her teeth grazed your skin.

“Shh,” she murmured against your neck, her lips returning to yours in a kiss that made you forget everything—until the door swung open with a loud creak.

“Are you fucking serious?”

Caitlyn’s voice was sharp, cutting through the haze like a bucket of cold water.

You scrambled off Sevika’s lap, your shirt hastily tugged back into place as you turned to see Caitlyn standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and her expression a mix of disbelief and exasperation. You were immediately sobered up.

Sevika, by contrast, remained unbothered, lounging back in her chair with her usual smirk firmly intact. “We were bonding,” she said lazily, her tone dripping with amusement.

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow, setting her bag on the table. “If this is bonding, I’d hate to see what happens when you two don’t get along.”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “This is all your fault,” you muttered toward Sevika.

Sevika chuckled, leaning closer to you, her voice low and teasing. “Didn’t hear you complaining.”

You shot her a glare, though the small smile tugging at your lips betrayed your annoyance. Caitlyn shook her head, muttering something about “never getting a break” as she climbed into her bed.

You grabbed Sevika by her arm, pulling her out of the chair and pushed her towards the door. “It’s time for you to go, Sev,” you said.

“Awe, but we were having so much fun,” she teased turning towards you, getting closer along with her face.

You immediately stopped her, putting a hand on your chest. “To be continued…maybe,” you said as you opened the door, gesturing for her to leave.

“I’ll take your word on that,” she added in quickly before leaving.

You climbed into bed beside Caitlyn, still feeling the heat of embarrassment from earlier. As you pulled the covers over yourself, you glanced at her. “Are you mad at me?” you asked softly.

Caitlyn let out a long groan, turning her head to look at you. “No. I mean… at least you’re standing by what you said last night.”

Her words made your stomach drop. “Oh, shit,” you muttered, sitting up slightly. “I talked about her while I was drunk? What did I even say?”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes, though a small smirk tugged at her lips. “Something about her being annoyingly hot and how you wanted to fuck her so bad. Seems like you were in the process of it.”

You groaned, burying your face in your hands, but Caitlyn wasn’t done. Her eyes zeroed in on your neck, and her smirk widened. “Speaking of… how long were you two going at it? You’ve got two huge hickeys on your neck.”

Your eyes snapped open, and you sat up abruptly. “What?!” You scrambled for your phone, turning on the front camera to inspect the damage.

Sure enough, there they were—two dark, unmistakable marks standing out against your skin. “Jesus,” you muttered in disbelief, your fingers brushing over the spots as if that would make them disappear.

Caitlyn chuckled, leaning back against the headboard. “You’re lucky I’m too tired to lecture you about keeping things professional. But just so you know, I’m giving you side-eye for the rest of the trip.”

You flopped back onto your pillow, staring at the ceiling. “This can’t get any worse,” you muttered.

Caitlyn shot you a look. “Don’t jinx it.”

taglist : @whatlefoop @nonexistentsourcherry @graciebloom @swordfemm4 @m00npjm @sevikasleftarm @fayecreates @mulan-but-gay @inlovewithsevikaandambessa @sapphiellar @artfairyyyyy

[456-is-the-way]

Hi! I love your fics so much! Gi-hun definitely needs more love, I mean come on, so here it is. Could you maybe write something about the reader being a foreigner and she was in the games when Gi-hun first was and they feel in love there and won together, so now they live in the Pink Motel together and make a plan about the games where Gi-hun returns to the games as a player and reader somehow infiltrates herself into the games by being the triangle guard and watches over them (kind of like what Hwang Jun-ho did) and during the player's rebellion she stays and he captures her along with the other triangle guy and then takes her mask off and Gi-hun realizes that it's her. They reunite really sweetly and she helps him to try and stops the games during the shootout. You could maybe even include the very ending where the Frotman kills Gi-hun's frined, like how would that scene in that case play out.

Thank you so much, love u 💚

FIRST OFF OMG WHAT IS WITH THIS FUCKING AMAZING PLOT IDEA. Seeing this I am going to be honest it's giving me an idea for a 5 part series. I dont want to stuff all this into a quick response a one shot wouldnt do it justice. If you wanna lokwey dm me I'll tag you in the comments , tell you when its done or just look on my page because this is a really good freaking plot idea !!! So imm be cooking this one I love Gi-hun. He is hot daddy. Ngl. 👀 but yeah I should be cooking up a start for this maybe around Friday it should be posted because this is behind 4+ other requests i have but I do want to give this spot light so yall keep looking at my posts !! Ahhh!!

[smittenmeraki]

The fandom keeps taking about how they want Jeremy to get red carded defending Jean (if anyone is going to do that it would be Cat but yall arent ready for that convo) or for Jeremy to yell and go off on kevin for leaving Jean at evermore. I think Jeremy would understand, he wouldn't like it and may be angry but I think he would be more hurt that Kevin had to choose between saftey and betraying a friend. HOWEVER! I counter that Neil would be the one to get onto Kevin. Picture this, its a first banquet since Jean became a Trojan and Neil finds him and they start having a conversation in French about his new team or whatever random topic. Jeremy sees them and immediately is like 'nope, no way, last time these two were alone Jean came home in the middle of the night in shambles.' And goes over there. He doesnt say anything, just stands by Jean giving Neil heavy side eye. Of course Neil being Neil glares straight back. 'The fuck is his problem. He wants to be pissed at me when he failed to protect Jean?' Jean steps in at this point, trying to keep Neil from starting a fight.

"Do not start anything here. Jeremy's done nothing wrong and I am not cleaning up your messes.' Jean scolds in french.

"Nothing wrong? He was supposed to keep you safe. Which he failed at by the way."

"I dont need anyone to keep me safe." Jean glares at him, defending himself to which Jeremy takes one more step closer, just in case. Kevin and Andrew catch onto the commotion and walk over, taking stance next to them.

"Really? If we honestly believed that we wouldnt have sent you to the Trojans, you may as well have been a fox." Neil loosely gestures at Jeremy, dismissive.

"You and I both know he could never fit in as a fox." Kevin cuts in, switching them to English

Neil turns to him full of animosity. The glare of a Wesninski, its enough to make his stomach drop.

"I think youve already had enough say in where he ends up considering you left him at evermore in the first place." Kevin recoils, taking four steps back and staggering on the fifth, a look of horror on his face. When he glances at Jean, hes looking down. He knows its not true but its how it felt. Neil doesn't have to say anything else, Kevin knows what the ravens are capable of, hes seen it, on Jean, on himself, on Neil. The twisted smile on Neils face is enough to force Kevin to look away. Neil switches back to French, in a calmer tone.

"He is meant to keep you safe and help you get through all the shit they did to you. If he is incapable of doing that, you know where to find me. If you are hurt under his watch again." Back to english "I'll handle him." He glares at Jeremy then turns away, Andrew a step behind, staying between them.

[woodle-isbae]

hi hi hello i have a very awesome request for Wkko🤗

so imagine he’s working on some type of new invention or something of the sorts

and he just wouldn’t pay attention to you and you just keep prying at him until he caves and edges you or be a little rough just to put you in your place but hes still all sweet giving you praises and kissing you🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

"Isn't this what you Wanted, huh?"

He whispered into your ear, pressing his chest onto your back while he rutted into you, biting into any exposed skin he could get

"C'mon, answer me baby."

He leaned back, pressing his hand into your lower back to deepen your arch, groaning at the way you constricted around him. Ekko had bent you over his desk, moving his things to the side so he could fill you up, being so needy for him he couldn't ignore it any longer.

"Yes. . .Fuck! Yes, I needed this.."

Your fingers clawd at the wooden desk that creaked beneath both your bodies, toes curling at the way his thick tip hit right into your core, walls clenching to pull him in for more.

"Yes! Ekko, please- right t..right there.!"

Your begs ran right through his mind, provoking him to fuck you harder, his hips slamming right into your ass with a great force that it would surely leave a mark.

"You just couldn't wait huh? Yer' always so fucking needy f'me."

He slowed his hips, illiciting a whine from your lips, pushing back against him to regain that same friction. He let out a breath chuckle, holding your hips in place while he dragged his all the way back, stopping when his tip was just about to exit.

"Uhnt uhnt..ima have my way with you baby."

His words lingered before he gave one big thrust right back into you, a groan turned into a whimper shot out his mouth, the action sending a wave of electricity through your connected bodies.

He continued his fast and rushed thrusts, knocking you into the desk, causing your feet to lift up slightly. You were on your tippy toes, fucked out beyond imagination from how well he was driving his cock into you.

"Ek- ah!..please I'm gonna cum..!"

Your words flew mindlessly past him and into the heated air around you, yelps and pleads joining right after as he kept drilling into you, the table under you decorated with scratch marks from your need to hold onto something.

Just as you were about to release, Ekko pulled out and flipped you onto your back, diving right back in to continue with the same fast and rough pace that had your toes curled.

"Cu- hah..cum with me, yeah?"

His thrusts slowed down, pressing his chest against yours to get as deep as possible, allowing his thick mushroom tip to pound into that one spot that he knew would leave you dazed.

It only took him a couple of minutes before you clamped down on him, greedily pulling him in for more while you drowned in your orgasm, Ekko shuddering before halting his hips, shoving his face into the nook of your neck to muffle the pathetic whines he was letting out as his cock spurt out into you.

After a brief moment of silence, Ekko stood back up and pulled out, racing to get a warm wet cloth and a bottle of water for you. Picking you up and placing you on the couch he conveniently had put there in case something had come up.

"Y'know, that helped clear my mind- thank you."

"So you'll spend time with me?"

"Three hours, then I'm back to work, alright?"

"Great."

You leaned in for a kiss, making sure that the Three hours would go to good use.

Soo...hey!!

I'm still working on ALOT of yalls requests and my own personal projects, gonna take a while to post bc i got mad writers block rn but..

Do Not Fear, I Am Still Here! 👅

Xoxo

[plumbewb]

simblr the place where yall will call someone a pedophile since they were 19 for posing a character that’s 17 same as they are portrayed in the manga they come from, yet will let shit like this rock. this is your friend??? bro yall need to get a grip lmao

no i’m not tagging anyone i’ve blocked jellypaws a good minute ago cause they gave me the ick when they were using ai for their previews

[measuredingold]

my soul is useless without you

author's note: part two to i'd walk through hell for you is finally here ! i'm not sure if i want to do a third part, but we’ll see lol but i'm currently working on something for folio 👀 as always, i hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated ! also, if yall have any requests, send them my way :) i'm in the mood to write but inspiration is running thin lol

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

divider: @saradika-graphics

word count: 3.5k

cross posted on ao3 / part one

cw/tw: angst, hurt/comfort, Noah Sebastian Is Bad At Feelings But A Good Friend, reader is going through it, anxiety, hints/mentions of depression, noah is just a good guy and cares about reader a lot ( more than he realizes ), friends to lovers pining lol, 18+ minors do not interact

It's when Jolly asks Noah in-between takes if he'd heard from you recently that the anxiety finally settles in.

Because he doesn't know the last time he's heard from you. Which isn't normal.

He's a bad texter, notorious for looking at messages and making a note to reply to them later or replying in his mind, but he always makes sure to reply to you whenever the two of you aren't together. It's just always been a thing, to always have some form of communication with you when he wasn't over at yours or if you weren't at his, so it panics him when he can't remember the last time he'd spoken to you.

He goes through your messages and finds that it wasn't him this time who didn't respond, but instead it was you. Relief washes over him briefly, the guilt of forgetting to respond to his best friend vanishing, but then that anxiety comes back full force. 

You didn't respond.

You always responded.

He sends off a quick message to you, apologizing for being in studio mode and not leaving the house and asks if you're alright. He waits. They go through another take, he somehow doesn't fuck it up even though his mind isn't all the way there. You still haven't responded by the fifth take and that's when he starts to feel sick, stomach twisting with the worry of what could be wrong. 

He tries to think back to if you've ever gone this long without speaking and he can't think of a time when that has happened. 

"Earth to Noah." Jolly's voice pulls him away from his thoughts.

"Oh. Uh, sorry." 

"All good, man." His bandmate eyes him for a second before his eyes flicker towards his phone. "She respond?"

"Um. No." His brows furrowed as he stared at his phone, the black screen mocking him. "Kind of worried."

"Yeah... I am, too." Jolly murmurs. He clicks around on the screen a few times before twisting his chair around to fully face Noah, arms crossing over his chest. "You should go over there. Check and make sure she's alright."

Noah raises a brow at him. "We're in the middle of recording?"

"And?" Jolly shrugs, waving him off. "We got a lot done today, we can wrap it up. Something's obviously wrong and she might need you. That's more important than some song."

He blinks at his friend, letting his words settle in. Jolly's right, he thinks. You are more important than whatever song they're working on. That confirmation makes him feel funny, something tightening beneath his chest but he ignores it, nodding slowly. 

"Okay. You wanna come?"

Jolly shakes his head. "Nah. The both of us might be overwhelming. If you do need me then call, if not..." He shrugs again before lifting himself up out of his chair, groaning softly to himself, "...might be best for just you to go. She'd probably feel better if it's just you, anyways. You know how she is."

Noah isn't quite sure what he means, but nods along anyways. He checks his phone again and still no text, but he notices that you read the message. He should feel relieved at the sign of life but it only makes his anxiety worse, stomach twisting violently. 

"Okay. I'll text you when I get there." 

He's practically running out of the studio after that, the only thing on his mind was you. He needed to make sure you were okay. Deep down he knew that if this was him, you would've already been here, and he feels guilty all over again. He should've paid more attention, shouldn't have let this slip his mind so easily. He thinks back to your last messages together and how you were talking about your work day, overwhelmed and quite frankly, upset about it all. He should've paid closer attention.

He makes it to yours in record time, legs moving him to the door before he can even think about it. He sends up a quiet prayer to the universe that you had given him an extra key months ago and uses it to unlock the door, slowly pushing it open.

He calls out your name, but no answer.

His eyes sweep over your apartment as he enters, scanning the open space. Your kitchen looked untouched, minus the few dirty dishes that were in your sink. A few boxes of Chinese take-out and some bottles of water. He feels almost relieved. You'd been eating and as far as he can tell you'd been keeping yourself somewhat hydrated, so that was a plus. He knows how bad you can be when you get into this headspace - brain fog, forgetting to do basic things like eating and drinking water. But this... this is a step in the right direction.

His eyes move towards the living room and it's just about the same. A pile of blankets lay together at one end of the couch, pillows scattered along the length of the cushions. You'd been there quite a bit, he can tell, but other than that nothing was too bad.

Noah feels like he can breathe for just a second, eyes going straight to the cracked open door to your bedroom. He hears the faint hum of your television and hears the muffled voice of your favorite characters in your favorite comfort show. His chest tightens. You only ever watch it when things get bad inside your head, when things start to become too overwhelming and you need to cling onto something that you know. Something that won't throw any surprises at you and make things worse. 

He makes his way towards your room, ready to call out your name again as he pushes open your door but stops halfway. You're curled up in your bed, covered in a pile of blankets. He steps closer to get a better look at you and he doesn't think he's ever seen you look so peaceful. Lashes against the tops of your cheeks, lips parted. The crease between your brows is relaxed, which never happens. 

Noah takes a deep breath.

You're alright. He can see that you're safe and sound, at least for now, and that's enough for him. He shuts your door behind him and makes his way back into the main room, taking his shoes off by the door. He takes another deep breath to center himself as he looks around your space, hand finding its way to his hair. 

He decides he'll clean up your kitchen and living room. It isn't too bad, and it won't take him too long. He also just... doesn't want to leave yet. He'll wait until you wake up. Make you talk to him, ask what’s up. Probably make you eat something. Then he'll head home. 

Sounds like a good plan to him.

Even though your door is shut he still tries to be quiet, making sure to carefully wash and put away your dishes without making too much of a fuss. After the dishes, he throws away all the take-out boxes and water bottles. He even makes a note to take the trash out for you when he's all done, because he knows you would've done it for him. 

The constant reminder of you and knowing that you'd do something like this for him, and have, is the motivation he needs to continue. It makes him feel warm all over and he thinks how lucky he is to have someone like you as his best friend.

And he definitely ignores the bitter taste in his mouth at the word best friend. 

It's maybe an hour after he's finished, curled up on your couch that now has its pillows in place, and the pile of blankets are neatly folded and put away, that you finally emerge from your room. You rub the sleep out of your eyes, not noticing him on the couch at first, but when you do you make a noise of surprise that has Noah laughing.

"Hey."

He notices the slight flush of your cheeks but ignores it. "Hi?"

"I uh," He scratches the back of his neck, sending you a sheepish smile. "Hadn't talked to you in a few days. Got worried. So did Jolly. Told me to come over. Check on you. You were sleeping so I just," He throws his arms around, gesturing to the space around him, "cleaned up a little? Figured you would appreciate a clean house when you woke up so..." 

He's talking too much, he knows it, but he can't seem to stop the word vomit from coming out. Noah knows you wouldn't mind, but he was nervous, especially because all you do is stare at him without saying a word. Stare and stare and stare until you sniff, brows furrowing.

"...Thanks."

You're unusually quiet and it makes his stomach turn again. You sniff again and Noah swears you look like you're on the verge of tears, and he sits up on the couch. He watches you closely as you wring your hands together in front of you, mouth opening and closing as if you want to say something. You don't, and Noah catches the exact moment when your bottom lip trembles, and he's moving before he can even think about it.

"Hey. It's okay. You’re okay."

He tries to keep his voice soft and free of any panic, but his heart is beating so rapidly against his chest he swears you can hear it. You sniff again, head shaking as your lip continues to tremble and he does the only thing he can think of. He pulls you into his arms and presses you into his chest. You don't move for a second, but eventually your arms circle around his waist. You squeeze, tight, but he doesn't mind. He just squeezes you back. 

Your body begins to shake as the cries start to rack through you, the sound muffled by the fabric of his shirt. Noah swallows down the lump that was beginning to form, cheek resting on the top of your head. He's always hated when you cry. He himself wasn’t one for much display of emotions, but when it came to the people he cared about, he hated seeing them anything but happy. 

Especially you.

He's seen you cry a few times. Well, more than a few times. Sometimes it was over nothing, and then sometimes it was over an incredibly cute dog you'd seen scrolling on Twitter. He didn't mind those, but when it was over something serious, he fucking hated that. He never wanted you to be anything but happy, and whenever you weren’t, it’s like a piece of him breaks. 

“What’s wrong?” He whispers into your hair, trying to pull you even closer to him.

“Everything.” You eventually mumble against his chest, sucking in a deep breath as you try to control your tears. “Fucking everything is wrong.” 

He fucking hates the way that answer makes him feel. His chest feels like it's on fire, and he swears his heart just fucking broke at how sad you sounded, voice muffled by his shirt. He squeezes you to his chest again.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

He wants you to talk about it, to tell him what's wrong so he can make it better. Noah knows it'll probably be damn near impossible to even do that, but god, he'd try absolutely anything to make your tears stop. You take a long moment to respond, trying to control your breathing, before you eventually shake your head against his chest.

"Not right now." 

"Okay.” He mumbles, raising a hand to smooth down your hair. “That's okay, we don't have to."

"Thank you."

You stay like that for a moment, in the middle of your living room. Noah doesn't plan on letting go any time soon, thinking for a split second that he wished he could keep you in his arms forever. If you were there, he'd always know if you were okay. The thought fades before he could think too hard about it when you finally pull away from him, and Noah catches sight of your slight red and blotchy face. He frowns.

He doesn't remember the last time he's ever seen you so sad. So defeated. Whatever was going on really pained you, and he wishes you'd just tell him so he can fix it. Another passing, fleeting thought, but he thinks he'd do just about anything right now to see you smile again. 

"Have you eaten?" He breaks the silence between the two of you, not waiting to hear whatever you were planning on saying.

You blink up at him. "Um... no. Not since this morning. Had some fruit and coffee." 

"I figured." He guides you towards the couch, practically pushing you onto it. You snort when he grabs a throw blanket and dumps it onto you. "Pick something to watch." 

It's not a question, but more of a command, and Noah ignores the way his chest flutters at the small smile you give him. He turned away from you, pushing whatever feeling was brewing inside of him so far down and got his brain to focus. Food. You need food. To be honest, so does he. He’d been so worried about you for the last few hours that he didn’t even think of getting something to eat. 

It takes him a few minutes of rummaging around your kitchen to settle on making something easy - instant ramen. He’s surprised you hadn't eaten it all in the week you’ve been off-grid, but thankful nonetheless. Noah's way too impatient to wait any longer to actually cook something, especially knowing you hadn't eaten anything since this morning. Every so often he looked over his shoulder to watch you, wishing you'd say something, but would find you either staring blankly at the television or your phone.

A bitter taste settles in the back of his throat every time he turns back around to the stove. He hated this, and he fucking hated that he couldn't do a goddamn thing about it.

He brings your bowl to you once he's finished, already making a mental note to clean up the mess he had made while cooking. You blink up at him and reach for it, giving him a quiet, "Thank you."

Noah doesn't verbally say anything, just hums out a response as he ventures back into the kitchen to grab you something to drink. When he comes back he notices you had slowly begun to eat, and he feels his shoulders finally relax. Just knowing you ate something eases him, the tension in his body leaving him completely. You're already reaching out for the glass of water in his hand that he happily hands off to you, giving you a gentle smile.

"Need anything else?"

You shake your head, peering up at him. "No. Just want you to come sit with me." 

That same fluttery feeling beneath his chest returns and he wishes he could ignore it again, but it doesn't go away. No, it stays perched underneath his chest, as if it's decided that it's making a home there and never leaving. He doesn't say anything, just nods at your request before grabbing his own bowl and a Pepsi you had in the fridge before making his way back to you.

You wait until he's settled on the couch to scoot closer to him, legs pressed flushed together. You're already halfway through your ramen and for a split second he forgets that weird feeling in his chest, instead focusing on the intense pride filling him. He was able to get you to eat, he was able to help out in some way. Knowing you were alright for the most part and it was from his doing made him feel good.

The both of you eat in silence as whatever show you decided to put on plays in the background. He’s just now realized it was The Office, and he huffs out a small laugh at something Michael Scott said. Another one of your comfort shows, something easy. 

It isn't until you both are finished with your food and Noah's back in the kitchen cleaning up that you finally speak. He doesn't hear you come up behind him, focused on washing the dishes and making sure everything's clean and good to go, so he can't help but jump when he feels your arms slip around his waist and squeeze.

"Shit." He swears, followed by a breathy chuckle. "You scared me."

You don't say anything to that, just squeeze him harder and he feels you press your face against his back. Then ever so softly, he picks up the faintest, "Thank you," muffled against his back. His face flushes, eyes casting down to the soapy water his hands were currently submerged in. He's glad you can't see the blush on his cheeks, and he fucking hopes you can't hear the way his heart is pounding beneath his chest. Can probably feel it, though, and that makes his face burn even more. 

"For what?" He manages to mumble out, resuming his efforts. Your arms squeeze his waist again.

"For being here." You sound so small. "You don't have to be, but you are, and I can't thank you enough for that."

"You'd do it for me." His response comes easily, voice nonchalant because it's true. He knows you'd do the same for him, and the thought has his stomach flipping every which way. "And have done it for me. It's the least I can do."

You're silent after that but don't part from him, and Noah can't help the smile that spreads across his lips at the feeling of you rubbing your face against him. It makes him feel warm all over, and that damned fluttery feeling in his chest is back yet again. You stay like that until he's finished with the dishes, moving with him as he shuffles to the side to dry them off. You don't pick your head up even when he manages to turn in your arms, finally facing you. 

Noah's arms wrap around you, pulling you closer to him and now you can rub your face against his chest. He laughs softly, pressing his cheek against the top of your head.

"Still don't wanna talk about it?" He knows he's pressing but he can't help it, a part of him still needs to know what's wrong and how he can fix this for you.

You shake your head. "Not yet. Tomorrow, okay? I just... don't wanna think about it tonight."

"Okay." He thinks he can handle that. 

"Thank you." You say again and finally lift your head up from his chest, blinking up at him. There's still a sadness there, roaming around behind your eyes, but not as prevalent as it was earlier. He’s at least done something right. "I'm really fucking lucky to have you, you know that, right?"

The way you're looking up at him is overwhelming, Noah's throat tightening at the softness surrounding your tired eyes. You smile at him and this time it reaches your gaze, not faked but real, and his heart slams against his chest. A thought passes his mind again, something he hasn't thought of in years, and he pushes it back with a hard swallow.

"You're just saying that because you didn't have to do the dishes."

You roll your eyes but that smile never drops from your lips, and Noah thinks he'd like to keep you smiling like that for the rest of his life. 

"Shut up. I'm being serious." You're giggling now, eyes crinkling and he catches a glimpse of the real you for the first time in hours - probably days, weeks even. 

"So am I." Noah yelps when you pinch his side, your laughter growing louder. "Hey!"

"I'm trying to be nice here, asshole. You can at least try, too."

He softens at that, eyes meeting yours. He's well aware his face is on fire right now, cheeks pink.

"You already know I'm lucky to have you. Didn't realize I had to say it."

Even if he doesn't say it often, he is very lucky. So incredibly lucky to have you in his life, for sticking by him and for understanding him. For always being patient with him. Jolly reminds him occasionally how lucky he is to have you, how all of them are lucky to have someone like you in their lives. He doesn't know what the fuck he or anyone did to be so deserving of you, but dammit, he's fucking thankful for it everyday. 

You don't say anything, just continue to beam up at him and Noah can't seem to stop himself, tilting his head down to brush his lips against your forehead. He feels you press further into his chest, if it was even possible, and practically melt in his arms. 

He wishes he could keep you here forever, tucked away in his arms. He thinks there isn't much he wouldn't do to keep you safe, to make sure you were okay, and that thought alone scares him. He'd never admit it, at least not out loud, and he tucks that thought away for another time. Or to possibly be never thought of again, he doesn't know. He doesn't really care.

No, all he cares about right now is that you're okay, at least for now, and that you're nestled against his chest like it's the only place you want to be. 

And that's enough for him. 

[peerless-minty-cucumber]

SVSSS Liu Qingge is an ace icon in a porn logic plot. In this essay I will…

Okay so, I want to preface this with some clarifications. I'm going to assume most of yall know a baseline definition of asexuality as "when you don't experience sexual attraction." Without getting too into the nuance here, take note of the following:

Being asexual does not mean you hate sex. Some asexuals like sex. Some asexuals have sex.

Asexuals can get crushes and fall in love

Being asexual doesn't mean you have sexual trauma or are a prude or w/e

Also:

I am asexual and I think by online discourse logic that means I'm right about everything I say in this essay.

You're free to respectfully disagree honestly I'd love to hear other takes on this.

This headcanon contains a lot of projection. You've been warned.

So recently I reblogged this post that joked something along the lines of "We still don't know if Liu Qingge knows what sex is." And I thought that was a) hella funny and b) kinda true. Do I think he literally doesn't know what sex is? With that sister?? Yeah no I think he knows. But I imagine he doesn't really understand that sex is just kind of a big deal for most people and expected in typical relationships. I mean, I doubt sexual attraction really often discussed amongst cultivators anyway, so if one doesn't experience it, it a) wouldn't make one too much of an outsider and b) one would just assume this is the universal norm. In my reading of canon, he definitely has a crush on Shen Qingqiu, but I don't think he has the sexual attraction. To the contrary, I imagine that he finds the thought of sexual contact with his crush very unbecoming. Perhaps it even contributes to his dislike of Luo Binghe and the BingQiu relationship. I could even spin this into a whole thing where he could be coping with internalised homophobia because he doesn't want to have sex with men so it's fine, right? We know that in general, Shen Yuan is a pretty unreliable narrator when it comes to observing other characters' reactions. But I did find some of his thoughts about Liu Qingge during the Succubi extra very interesting. For those who don't know/recall - in this extra chapter, SQQ and LQG investigate a Succubus hideout and LQG gets affected by what is essentially an Aphrodisiac. SQQ notes that LQG is visibly distressed, but also shows absolutely no signs of desire to act on it in any way – almost as though he doesn't have experience with sexual desire. He's also clearly uncomfortable and angry with his body's reaction – not an uncommon reaction in (particularily sex-repulsed) asexuals experiencing libido. I really like to imagine an AU where LiuShen happened and they're just cute and cuddling and maybe get in a few kisses and after a few months Shen Qingqiu is like "… So are we gonna fuck or like…?" And LQG would be FLOORED because surely that's not a thing people actually do – right?! That's a thing for forbidden porn ballads and demons! I also like to imagine they actually try it and he ends up kinda liking it and unpacking his baggage but he still doesn't get the attraction.

Yall were seriously starving for this essay so I hope I at least kinda delivered. I felt like I had more to say about this but *gestures* stuff happened and my brain isn't super on top of things rn.

[chemicalbreakfast]

id be crying if I looked like that too bruh thats fucked up what the be doing to yall i ain't even gone hold you bro i be saying that's fucked up like bro you probably had the full wash and set ya shit be fire prolly if they ain't cut your shit fuck it tho bro its your life

[pr0blematic-h0unds]

You are disgusting. Do you have any idea how harmful this is?? Do you have any idea how damaging this is?? You're targeting minors with this kind of content, and your damaging their minds! They'll grow up thinking that this kind of behavior is okay! And the world will be full of incestuous freaks like you! That is not a world I want to live in. I can't believe you people are okay with this. How many people. How many people are like you? How many people think this is okay? Be a normal person and go outside. I can't believe it. What would your parents think?? Would they be okay with you saying this is okay? Why do you even think this is okay? Don't fucking say the "Fiction doesn't affect reality." bullshit. You aren't using this to cope. You aren't using this to have fun. Your using this because your disgusting and want to do bad things to innocent people! Fuck you, unkindly.

Awhh guys look!!! Hosts first hate comment!!!! Lol, funny you think were gonna get affected by a coward who hides behind anon <33333333333

We know were disgusting lolllll, were a lil sociopathic rainbow fag dog who has thoughts that belong in the psych ward on the daily but wdc <3333333333

Also lol we are using this to cope??? Who are you to tell us how we cope with the absolute horrible shit we endured for fucking years. If it doesn't fit your morals womp fucking womp we literally could care less.

Yall think by sending us hate that were magically gonna 'see' how us abusing PIXELS is more wrong than REAL FUCKING VICTIMS LIKE US who survived literal hell when they were at their most vulnerable and unable to do shit but take it.

Yall say you're trying to protect real victims of this shit? Well guess what, most of yall are nothing but double standard assholes who are so stuck up your ass that you ignore the fact that you unapologetically treat us like we deserved that shit. NO ONE, DESERVES THAT SHIT. No matter what they are.

Also, the whole 'targeting kids' thing, im sorry but people tend to forget that fandom space was never intended to take care of kids and be their little safety haven to watch their stupid little pixels waddle around. That is up to their parents, we are not the kids babysitters here to watch them and cater to their young minds.

"It'll damage their minds!!!" Okay?????? Not my problem the fuck?? I could care less because again, NOT MY PLACE TO CATER TO KIDS!!! I'm not gonna drop to my knees infront of a fucking 12 year old and be all:* "OH MY GOD1!1!1 IM SOO SOWWY THAT I POSTED TWO SIBLING CHARACTERS HOLDING HANDS YOUR POOR MIND IS RUINED FORGIVE ME PLZZZZ!!!!!!!!" lmaooo yeah no id rather punch myself in the balls then do that xD

Suck my fat cock and choke on it babe because we cope how we want and little wimps like you are stuck behind your computer heaving and foaming at the mouth because were over here happy and alive just posting little doodles.

Come say this shit off of anon, you won't. If anything you wouldn't even have the balls to say this stuff to our face.

-

Also, we know that you're just copy pasting to other proship blogs ;)

You're not creative, hop off our dicks and take your own advice to touch some grass because it reallllly isn't a good look for you <3

[azumasoroshi]

some of yall gotta lock tf in cuz i was reading a fic today where the author marked their fic as completed when it wasn’t and so the first chapter ended on a hella cliffhanger

and one of the comments was like “omg this is so good is there gonna be a part 2??? cuz that is an illegal cliffhanger” and the author was like “omg yes thank you there’ll be a part 2!! i only marked it as completed because people avoid unfinished fics”

like. should you not mark unfinished fics as completed? yeah no dont do that. should yall motherfuckers ALSO be reading unfinished fics so that this isn’t a problem? YEAHHHHH MAYBE

i fucking LOVE reading unfinished fics cuz that means i get to write comments about how much i loved the latest chapter without irrationally worrying that something i say will be disproven in the next already existing chapter LMFAO like it’s fun!!! all you gotta do is:

write a short summary of what happened in your bookmarks and note down what chapter it’s on out of how many, eg. gojo gets hit with suguru coffee blast meet cute 1/?

if it’s really short atm eg. <2k words 1 chapter, just put like some random word eg. explosion 1/? and you can just relive the experience blindly again when you come back to enjoy it. have fun with this one by the way, ive done some really obscure ass words/memes where i dont know what the hell they have to do with the story when i come back to it and then i read it again and im like OHHH I GET IT NOW. and sometimes i never understand what past me had in mind when writing it which is really funny it’s like a time capsule

^pro tip you can also do this for fics that are finished. literally anything. have FUN with your BOOKMARKS they’re so easily customizable and if you get self conscious you can always just make them private lol

subscribe OR just periodically scroll through your bookmarks OR mark it for later OR use original tags to mark it as unfinished or like. literally anything idfk

if you feel like being a real chad and leaving a comment it’s super easy too you can just be like omg love x scene that happened in this chapter it was so angsty/cute/crazy/unexpected/insert adjective and i loved it/im rolling on the floor/im dying/im in the ambulance, cant wait for next chapter xoxo heart emoji like it’s THAAAT easy. said by someone with dogshit social anxiety and a tendency to overthink every action ive ever made, IT’S THAT EASY!!

and like. boom. that’s it. you get new content from fics you love delivered straight to your door!! hello??? even if they never update again are you really gonna mourn the loss of like 10 seconds of your time. cmon you’re already on ao3 for hours at a time like. lock INNNNNNN

me personally i get so much fuckin shit in my emails that i can’t turn off notifs for. so when i get a notification that some fic i dont even remember updated i get hyped as SHIT because finally some good fucking FOOD!! even if i dont remember it right now i must’ve liked it enough to subscribe to it and i know my taste better than anyone else so it must be good shit lmfao…and if it’s a fic i REMEMBER then it’s like YEAHHHHH BABY. do you even comprehend how many times ive checked my phone at the bus stop and gotten a notif from either a fic or author i’ve subscribed to and just. instantly start grinning like a maniac because YESSSSSSS

can personally attest that this has happened multiple times from ao3 user hollow_lime_green (Hanatamago) and many other authors. do ittt. brighten up your day. pspspspsp do itttttttttt

[thecourtjester-e]

Do you have to let it linger? part 3

A/N: LFG ok this chapter is shorter because next chapter ya’ll… home stretch also I’m changing my formatting some I’m sorry I’m new to this yall.

CW: yearning, angst, arguing

Yesterday 2:00 am

Schlaggot made it home

3 missed calls

Schlaggot answer me bitch

5 missed calls

——-

A week later

You startle out of your dream from your phone hitting the floor and buzzing. You stir and try to slow your heart, blinding yourself with the phone screen.

Incoming call… Theodore

Accept Decline

————

“What?” You groan.

“You gotta tell me what happened,” a serious voice responds.

“What time is it?”

“4 am,” Ted responds plainly.

“Can it wait like 4 more hours?” You say putting it on speaker and laying the phone next to your pillow.

“No. Not a chance. I just got off the phone with a one Jonathan Schlatt, and I need to know now.”

“Ask him dude.”

“No man, I want to ask YOU.”

“Why though? you were just talking to him?”

“He was in a mood. I don’t like to pry when he gets like that, it just drives him away more.”

You could understand that. You knew what kind of mood he was referring to. When schlatt gets burnt out or depressed it’s totally shut off mode. When he’s done with something he’s DONE. He’s pretty candid with his surface feelings but there were deeper thoughts you knew he didn’t share with anyone.

“I don’t know what you want me to do.”

“Look y/n I know it’s not my business- no fuck that! These are my best friends, this is my business. Why haven’t you been answering calls or texts? total silence from you. Not just to schlatt but all of us,” as he points out the obvious, your tears break free towards your pillow. “What. Happened.” Ted demands now very sternly.

You explain to Ted how you and schlatt got hot and heavy too fast and you stopped him. How caring schlatt was, how understanding and supportive. How you’ve been trying to push your feelings for him away but you liked him more than he pretended to like you online to the audience. You realized you weren’t joking anymore and when schlatt said he wanted to remain friends you needed to put some distance. That meant total radio silence for a while to get over your feelings.

“I really do like him. And he just doesn’t feel the same. And I was stupid for thinking the joke could be real. I thought I was invincible to it and like I couldn’t fall for someone again but no. Here I am. I have feelings for a guy with fucking mutton chops,” you borderline yell at the end. You sigh after a couple beats of silence, “I’m glad we didn’t go further though cuz then I’d really feel like a fucking fool.” You weren’t crying anymore, just mad.

“Well, maybe you can explain this to Schlatt, so he doesn’t think you’re mad at him,” Ted says after a while.

“I am mad at him!” You pause hearing Ted’s confusion, “He just doesn’t know why… and I’m not really mad at him. Just upset? Ugh dude I don’t fucking know.” You shove your face in your pillow and scream.

“Well feel the feelings you need to, but I think if you care about schlatt you’ll tell him you just need space or like your goldfish died or something I don’t know, man. Just communicate.”

“Ok…” you say, sighing.

“I love you buddy. It’s gonna be alright.”

“Yeah I know, just sucks.”

“For what it’s worth, I do think Schlatt cares about you. I don’t know why he decided to friendzone you-“

“Ew don’t say that word.”

“Whatever. Come over this weekend let’s go do some shit and get you out of this funk,” He says wrapping up the call. Agreeing with Ted you hang up and pass out again.

——

You get up later in the morning and decide to stream today. You hadn’t streamed since the schlatt stream because you didn’t want to endure the bombardment of chat. It figures that you did an in person stream with Schlatt right before you guys established your relationship as friends so now the whole community thinks you guys are a thing. Of fucking course.

The week had been full of working out and going into the dance studio to work on dancing videos. you distracted yourself with coming up with new video ideas and choreo to do. You focused on the work that didn’t involve schlatt at all to help your creative flow.

You set up your piano, your computer, microphone, etc. putting your lights on and getting into the headspace. You hadn’t decided if you were going to do an album breakdown, just play some covers, or watch videos. You knew at the very least you could give them an update of upcoming projects.

As you set up the tweet, the “stream starting” screen, and messaged a couple mods, you grabbed your guitar and held it idly. You could feel the hesitation in your body. You felt heavy now trying to work up the courage and energy to turn the camera on. You hadn’t been particularly depressed about the whole situation, just numb. Seeing the chats roll through however started to form a brick in your throat. You finally sighed and pulled the trigger.

“Chat,” you started immediately, “no schlatt today. Let’s get that out of the way,” you gesture around the room. “So, I’ve been busy this week in the studio, I haven’t had a second to breathe.” (Lie) “and I want to give you guys 10 minutes to ask schlatt questions then we’re gonna move on,” you continue.

You start reading chat as you speak, “and after the ten minutes is up if you mention Schlatt you’re gonna be in a timeout the rest of the stream.”

what?????

Omfg you and schlatt are so cute

Hey y/n! where’s Schlatt?

Do you live with him now?

Are you guys dating?

Omg did something happen?

Why no schlatt

“Ok, Schlatt went home that same day we streamed, so no we don’t live together and no we aren’t dating. I don’t know what to tell you guys other than that Schlatt and I really are just friends,” you finish as the chats keep coming.

You feel your phone vibrate next to you and subtly look to see who it is.

Of course. Schlatt. calling again.

You put your phone on DND and keep reading the chats. As you read you get a couple TTS.

“Hey y/n, you and schlatt have great chemistry, do you have a crush on him? All the love!”

“Hey thanks oopygoopy, no I don’t have a crush on Schlatt.”

The next TTS

“Answer your phone bitch.”

Schlatt again. This time he donated to the stream.

You ignore him and message a mod to tell them to put him in time out for the rest of the stream while chat freaks out.

“Alright chat we’re gonna get started. I want to do an album review today…” you ignore chat and start up a new album to listen to with chat and discuss the themes and harmonies. You really just needed a couple more hours to figure out what to say to schlatt.

——

After 3 hours, an album review, and some keyboard breakdowns of the harmonies, you decide to wrap up the stream, “guys, I’m done. I’ll be on tomorrow with some covers and requests! Thank you for all the love, bye!”

You make sure the stream is shut down and pick up your phone.

4 missed calls

You click it to call schlatt back.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Connecting….

Schlatt’s ceiling pops up on screen.

“Hey.” You say after a couple moments of silence.

“Really?” You hear from off screen. “A week of nothing and you say hey?” You can hear him chewing on something.

“I’m sorry.”

Awkward silence, followed by rustling and chewing.

“JAMBO STOP,” more rustling. “JAMBOOOO”

The camera shifts, you can’t help but laugh. You stop yourself by leaning your mouth in your hand.

“So what’d I do?” He asks casually, his eyebrows come into frame.

“Nothing. It’s not you,” you start before he interrupts.

“No don’t fucking start with me. What did I do? You’re ignoring me.”

“To be fair I’ve been ignoring everyone.”

“Yeah but you’ve been ignoring me.”

“You’re not special,” you say, rolling your eyes.

“Yes I am. Don’t fuck with me y/n.” He was joking around a little but you could tell he was genuinely hurt and pissed.

“I just needed some space. I think I've been a little burnt out is all.”

Silence. You shift uncomfortably as he continues to chew on the invisible food.

“Is it because I kissed you?” Schlatt says bluntly.

“No, just forget it dude.” you sigh and shake your head. It was hard to come up with an excuse other than just telling him about your feelings.

“Well everything was fine until after the wedding so-“

“Dude fucking drop it ok? I just need some space.”

“I’m sorry that I did that,” he says.

Silence this time with no chewing.

“It’s not about the kiss, schlatt.” You sighed, “I’m not sorry it happened. I wanted it to happen.” Your stomach churned and you felt your heart pumping in your ears.

“It was pretty hot,” schlatt finally scoffs.

“That’s not what I mean!”

“Spit it out then, toots.”

“I liked it, I've wanted you to kiss me for years. Because I have a big fat crush on you,” you spit out.

Silence, schlatt’s face mostly on screen at this point. He had a look of disbelief spread across it, his eyes darting all over the screen.

“You’re fucking with me?” He responds.

All you can do is shake your head.

“I didn’t want to say anything because I don’t want this to ruin our friendship because I know you don’t feel the same. And I really care about our friendship more than my stupid crush on you. And I can’t keep enduring your fake flirting it fucking sucks,” your word vomit spilling out now. “And I thought if I put distance between us I could get over it and then we could just go back to being friends again.”

“You decided to ignore me? That’s not distance. You don’t fucking know how I feel, why would you assume-“ he stops himself and throws his phone down, his face disappears from the screen and you two sit in silence for a long time. “God you can be so stupid.” He says exasperated.

“Fucking whatever dude. I just figured I’d tell you the truth so you’d leave me the fuck alone. I gotta go.” You suddenly hang up before he can respond. You throw your phone down in anger. You were done being tortured in this way. It hurt. You didn’t know if it was the right choice to just tell him but it was out there now. You didn’t know how you wanted him to respond, but it wasn’t like that. He didn’t have to be such an asshole.

—-

He doesn’t text, he doesn’t call. You text Ted and tell him what happened and when he tries to call you don’t answer. It’s hard enough not to cry as it is, if you talk to Ted right now there’s no way you won’t.

You sit down with your guitar and start to idly play without thinking, you play linger by the cranberries. As you play your chest gets tight and your tears break free.

Oh, I thought the world of you

I thought nothing could go wrong

But I was wrong, I was wrong

If you, if you could get by

Trying not to lie

Things wouldn't be so confused

And I wouldn't feel so used

But you always really knew

I just want to be with you

You feel it all finally. You worked so hard to resist feeling feelings for someone for so long. Scared of what happened before. Having feelings for someone makes you weak and easier to break. You used music to express your feelings and tried to seal them off the rest of the time. This time they seeped out after the end of the song as you cried openly.

—-

For the past two weeks you streamed yourself doing covers, learning songs, or in the dance studio coming up with choreo. The feelings coming out in the art. You played covers of songs you and schlatt listened to on streams trying not to tear up. You let yourself feel a little more openly in front of the audience. They may have been catching on, but if they were you were good at ignoring them. In between streams you worked on recording videos, wrote lyrics and worked on some songs you had been working on for a while. It was a creatively productive time.

You had put schlatt’s messages and calls on silence, but it didn’t matter because he didn’t try to message you. You tried not to notice. Of course you noticed. You hoped maybe he would call and try to say sorry or fix what he had done but he hadn’t. It made you mad to be honest. You tried not to stalk his profiles to see what he was doing but he was silent for the most part on that end too.

Ted on the other hand was messaging constantly. Well as much as he could, he was working on a video and was distracted. Every night he would call though and chat even if he was just on call while editing. He was trying to be supportive. You appreciated how much Ted cared but didn’t overstep. When you initially told Ted what happened after the call he was confused. He didn’t understand why Schlatt reacted the way he did. You didn’t either to be fair. You did feel bad for ignoring him instead of communicating, but because of the way he reacted you felt justified in a way.

As Friday rolled around, and your stream was done for the day, you drove home from the dance studio to shower. You were feeling in high spirits for a change and stopped for food on your way home. When you got home you decided you were going to relax, watch tv, and just do some self care. You hadn’t been taking very good care of yourself and felt like doing your brows and a face mask might help. Maybe even do your nails. The night was young. You even decided to drink a little. As you bundled up under your blankets on the couch watching some comedy you heard a knock on your door.

You got off your couch and set down your drink. Before you walked to the door you inspected yourself. You had sweatpants and a tank top on, hair up and glasses on. You grab a zip up hoodie near the door and throw it on. Nothing fancy, but you figured you should cover up a little more.

As you made your way to the door you put your ear up to see if you could hear who it was, silence on the other end refused to betray the visitor so you slowly opened the door.

Schlatt standing in the hall looked at you sheepishly as you peered out. You suddenly swung the door open all the way to stare at the tall man in shock. He was wearing a crewneck, dark pants, and the classic cap. He had a duffel over his arm and headphones around his neck. Despite his towering height he was cowering.

“Hey.”

“Hey?” You questioned. “What are you doing here?” You asked plainly. Your heart speeding up nevertheless, you could feel the words getting caught in your throat as you spoke.

“Came to see you. Can I come in?”