#it's fine really. i myself hate it when i entrust something very personal because then i'll feel like a burden.

[thelivingsin]

i am HELPLESS.

i think the reason why i'm literally at my lowest point is because i lack physical activity.

i underwent training once, and i want to do it again, but it costs A LOT and i couldn't even restart my habits myself.

stretching my muscles as a first should be enough.

[fazedlight]

Plummet (Cat's perspective on Falling)

Cat had started so optimistic. Kiera, finally dressing as an adult? It was a promising development for her executive-assistant-slash-vigilante, one that suggested the kryptonian could possibly grow a backbone in the near future. Goodness knows Kiera desperately needed to come out of her shell. 

Cat had ignored the… well, cattiness emanating from the blonde. A bit of cynicism would’ve been icing on the proverbial cake, had it not heralded something darker.

But when Siobhan marched proudly into Cat’s office, showing her the security footage of Supergirl letting a dangerous criminal go, Cat knew something more was going on. And this morning she used my personal elevator. Perhaps she’s truly lost her mind, Cat thought. “It could be another Bizarro,” Cat said to a disapproving Siobhan, “Put this under your hat until we figure out what’s going on.”

---

Kiera seemed to only get more haughty over time. “You’ve branded me in the media as a girl scout,” the kryptonian said bitterly. “Everyone knows real people have a dark side.”

Where is this coming from?, Cat thought. Psychotic break, brainwashing? Carter loved that old TV show with the star treks, and once spent an entire month talking about mirror universes. Was this an evil Kiera with an invisible goatee? “I fear that you're having some sort of mental breakdown,” Cat said, “Don't worry, it happens to the best of us-”

But Kiera snapped back. “You are the most arrogant, self-serving, mean-spirited person I know.” Tell me how you really feel, Cat thought to herself, but she had to admit that those words struck a little close.

But that hurt was very rapidly replaced by a more primal fear as the kryptonian approached her. “You want to see what powerful really looks like?” Kiera said, “Watch.”

---

They say your life flashes before your eyes. That’s not what Cat saw. Nor did she have a single coherent thought, other than Carter’s face and endless screaming.

Luckily for her, her assailant didn’t kill her. Cat collapsed inelegantly to the ground, turning back up in a panic as the scornful kryptonian stared down at her. “True power, Cat,” Kara scoffed, “Is in deciding who will live, and who will die.”

Somewhere in the back of Cat’s mind - a stray thought as she tried to calm her pounding heart - she understood. She has all this power, but she couldn’t save her planet. Kiera was just as frustrated at her own powerlessness; her history would be enough to cause anyone to have a psychotic break.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change what Cat had to do next.

---

“People are in danger,” she said to James and Winn, as she shared her plan for a televised broadcast on the kryptonian’s erratic and terrifying behavior, “The public needs to be warned.”

“Miss Grant,” James started, “Look, I am sure that Supergirl is going to be fine soon-”

“Can you guarantee me that the public is safe?”

James and Winn shifted guiltily. I know this isn’t her, Cat wanted to say, I know this isn’t who she is. But Cat couldn’t carry a death on her shoulders of someone who trusted Supergirl because of her words. And Cat suspected that Kara - if the girl ever recovered - couldn’t bear that guilt either.

But she hated every moment.

---

Is there any recovery from this?

Kiera had been a wreck at work that day, scurrying around the office with slumped shoulders and stressed eyes, avoiding Cat entirely. Cat supposed she was breathing easier now that Kiera was back to normal, but it still evoked the same question - What happens with Supergirl next?

As Cat walked into her office that evening - intent to pour herself a stiff drink - she was surprised to find a metal tube set on her desk, with a folded piece of paper propped up against it. “I’m sorry,” the letter read, in familiar loopy, feminine writing. “I wasn’t myself.”

Cat opened the tube, noting a strange green glow inside. Kryptonite, she realized, sighing internally at the thought of Kara entrusting her with this sort of protection. “I don’t want you to feel unsafe. If you want me to stop interacting with you, I will,” the letter read. Cat closed the tube, mulling again over her assistant’s state of mind. Sighing, she placed the tube in a drawer, pouring herself a drink as she had planned, before making her way to her balcony.

She shouldn’t have been surprised to see the super when she stepped out, but somehow she was. Kiera sat far from the door, quiet as she looked out onto the city lights. Cat knew the super must’ve heard her, but she didn’t face her - perhaps waiting for the sendoff she thought she deserved.

Cat stepped forward quietly, reaching the railing of the balcony. And that’s what gave Kiera the courage to speak. “I love this city,” she said solemnly.

Cat stood silently, listening to the kryptonian’s words - weighing the tender passion with the agonizing remorse. “What I did to you, Miss Grant-”

“Oh please,” Cat said, shrugging off. “I’ve base jumped Kilimanjaro, do you really think you scared me?”

Well, that was a lie, and they both knew it. “Okay, yes, you did scare me.”

“I scared the whole city,” Kara lamented.

“It’s not going to be easy,” Cat said. “But if anyone can win this city back, it’s you.”

Kara nodded gratefully, biting back unshed tears. “Can I just… stay here for a while?”

“Of course,” Cat said softly. 

In the soft breeze and the quiet night, the two looked back over the city, and wondered what was to come.

----------------------------------------------------

I found it a really weird writing choice that Kara never apologized to Cat - or didn't seem to understand the fear she must've instilled in her, after throwing her off a building - so I tried to fix it here. (I have thoughts on Kara's relationship with kryptonite, but I will spare this post of that ramble.)

[padawanlost]

Something I've noticed recently over the past few months is this trend where people have been diagnosing Anakin with narcissistic personality disorder instead of C-PTSD or BPD, the more commonly seen diagnoses. I personally disagree, but I wanted to hear your "two sense" on the matter if you will, you're one of the best meta-writers on this site.

It’s because people don’t like Anakin as presented on screen. They want Anakin to be as selfish and arrogant as possible so they can blame him from everything that happened. If it’s ALL about Anakin than everyone else can be left off the hook. 

Anakin ‘I don’t want to be a problem’ Skywalker is clearly narcissistic. I mean, he fits all the signs:

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

“Ten years in this place, and still he was an object of interest. Of speculation. All their hopes and dreams hanging on him like decorations on a bantha skeleton at Boonta Eve. He hated it.” [Clone Wars: Wild space, Karen Miller]

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

“You would forgo your destiny for Padmé?” Anakin’s brows beetled in anger. “I never claimed to be the Chosen One. That was Qui-Gon. Even the Council doesn’t believe it anymore, so why should you?” [ James Luceno. Labyrinth of Evil]

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Anakin bumped his hand against [Obi-wan]. “Wait. Just—wait.” Embarrassed, he took a deep breath. “Look. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just—it’s the mission, right? That’s what matters. So—”  “Anakin.” Obi-Wan’s whisper sounded amused. “It’s fine. I was about to suggest it myself when the droids turned up.”  “You were?”  “Play to your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. That’s how a battle is won. That’s how we’ll win the war.”  Anakin had to smile. I should’ve known he wouldn’t take it personally. “Yeah. So—once I’m up and over and nobody raises the alarm, give me a five-count then follow. I’ll give you the best Force boost I can. Not that you’ll need much. Your leap was only a meter and a half behind Master Windu’s. Remember?”  Obi-Wan gave a breathy chuckle. “I remember I had nosebleeds for a week afterward. Don’t ever feel bad for being extraordinary, Anakin. Now off you go. We don’t have all night.” [Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Take advantage of others to get what they want

“He thought of how unflinchingly loyal Anakin was to anyone he considered a friend.” [Matthew Stover’s Revenge of the Sith]

Exaggerate achievements and talents

He was the Chosen One, they told him. He was supposed to bring balance to the Force. Anakin thought that some little extra support might go with being the Chosen One, a helping hand or at least some understanding from the Jedi Council, but instead he was passed around like an unwelcome burden, ending up with Qui-Gon Jinn and then Kenobi because nobody else would have him. His chosen status meant less than nothing; it felt more like a stigma. And they wondered why he was difficult at times. Maybe they didn’t want balance, whatever that was. Maybe nobody liked a Jedi who was that different. He felt like an embarrassment to them. I do everything you ask of me. I try so hard. When is it going to be enough? When are you going to say, “Okay, Anakin Skywalker, you’re good enough”? Karen Traviss’s The Clone Wars

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Impatience. Concern. Relief. Loneliness. Weariness. And grief, not yet healed. Such a muddle of emotions. Such a weight on [Anakin]’s shoulders. Months of brutal battle had left [Ahsoka] drained and nearly numb, but it was worse for Anakin. He was a Jedi general with countless lives entrusted to his care, and every life damaged or lost he counted as a personal failure. For other people he found forgiveness; for himself there was none. For himself there was only anger at not meeting his own exacting standards. [Karen Miller’s Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

It’s not just Skywalker’s rank that makes us give him one hundred percent. It’s because he treats us with respect, and he puts himself on the line with us.” [The Clone Wars by Karen Traviss]

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Having worked their way around the village, finding nothing to wake their uneasily sleeping sense of alarm, Obi-Wan and Anakin returned to the beaten-dirt square and the charter house. Its doors were open now and a woman who had to be Teeba Brandeh stood on the broad step, hands on her narrow hips, watching the children scatter across the square to play a proper game of kickball. Grinning, without bothering to ask if he might, or if it were wise, or if they had the time to spare, so independent these days, Anakin jogged to join them. After a moment’s amazed hesitation the children welcomed him with squeals of delight, rough-and-tumbled him into their midst and made him one of their own. Obi-Wan shook his head. “He’s nice,” said the girl with the bracelet and the ragged hair, wandering over to stand beside him. “Don’t be cross with him, Teeb Yavid.” Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

“Oh, no,” said Anakin, grinning. “It was fun too.”  May the Force give me strength. “And that business with the boy? Because when I said no heavy lifting I—” Anakin’s amusement vanished.  “He wasn’t heavy. These younglings are skin and bone. I look at them and—” He clenched his jaw.  ”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Siege

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

[Anakin] did not like the fact that he had won. It seemed wrong that he had stepped so far out of line, and yet had been retained as a Padawan. He did not like the unease this victory, if victory it was, produced in him. Above all weaknesses, arrogance was the most costly. They keep me here because I have potential they’ve never seen before. They keep me in training because they’re curious to see what I can do. I feel like a rich man who never knows whether his friends are true-or whether they just want his money. This was a particularly galling thought, and certainly neither true nor fair. Why do they put up with me, then? Why do I keep testing them? [Greg Bear’s Rogue Planet]

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally this stupid. I just—” And then she felt her face crumple and heard herself sob. Her knees buckled and she began to sink toward the floor. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she choked. “Don’t mind me. I’m fine.” [Anakin] caught her before she tumbled completely. Lifted her without effort and carried her to the sofa. Boneless and unprotesting, she let him. Let her face turn to his roughly shirted, dirty chest and howled her rage and shame against him. Dimly, she felt his hand warm and comforting on her back and heard his soft voice saying, over and over, “It’s all right. It’s all right. You’re safe now. It’s all right.” The crazy thing was that she did feel safe. For the first time since those Separatist blaster bolts seared the air and sand of Niriktavi Bay, since she saw her friends and colleagues slaughtered, she felt safe. Then, abruptly, she felt mortified. What was she doing? Weeping like a child all over a man young enough to be her son? Where was her pride? She shifted away from him, unable to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry.” “Don’t apologize,” he said gently. “You’ve got a right to be upset. Now, where’s that medkit?”Karen Miller. Star Wars: Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth 

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

The Jedi Council didn’t want me, either. Being the Chosen One didn’t count for anything. Master Yoda wouldn’t train me, or Windu. Every member of the Jedi Council had had something more pressing to do than help him work out what this terrible, galaxy-changing power of his meant, and how he should live in its shadow. He still wasn’t sure. Anakin recalled standing there in that grand, polished Jedi Council Chamber, surrounded by what felt like fear, and disdain, and bewilderment—who were those Masters to feel bewildered, that the only person there who cared if he lived or died was Master Qui-Gon Jinn.  [Karen Traviss. The Clone Wars]

[Anakin] had worried that Obi-Wan did not have room for him in his heart. But Shmi’s smile rose in Anakin’s mind. Hearts have infinite room, my son. JUDE WATSON’S THE TRAIL OF THE JEDI

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

The fear and dread in her face eased, just a little. “You’re a very sweet young man, Anakin Skywalker.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

[Anakin] humbles me, sometimes. He makes me feel small. He can’t see a broken thing without wanting to fix it. [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

“I don’t know,” she said, floundering. “I can’t say I’ve ever given the Jedi much thought. I mean, not as individuals. I never expected to meet one—let alone two. I don’t tend to go places where your skills are needed. But—well—you’re gentle.” [Karen Miller’s Clone Wars Gambit: Stealth]

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

“I’m not giving him to you,” [Anakin]’d told her. “He’s not even really mine to give; when I built him, I was a slave, and everything I did belonged to Watto. Cliegg Lars bought him along with my mother; Owen gave him back to me, but I’m a Jedi. I have renounced possessions. I guess that means he’s free now. What I’m really doing is asking you to look after him for me.”  “Look after him?”  “Yes. Maybe even give him a job. He’s a little fussy,” he’d admitted, “and maybe I shouldn’t have given him quite so much self-consciousness—he’s a worrier—but he’s very smart, and he might be a real help to a big-time diplomat … like, say, a Senator from Naboo?”Matthew Stover. Revenge of the Sith 

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Ayato Route ー Chapter 4

ー The scene starts in front of Bernstein Castle

Yui: ( I just hope the Count will let us see him... )

*Knock knock*

Excuse me. Um...

ー The gate opens

Butler: ...We have been awaiting your arrival. Please, come in.

Ayato: Che, seems like the Count knows exactly what’s up after all.

Yui: Yeah...

( However, if he’s allowing us inside the castle, that means he’s willing to listen to what we have to say, right...? )

ー The two of them enter the castle

*Pssh*

*Thud*

Butler: Master will arrive shortly. May I please ask you to wait a few more minutes.

Yui: ...Thank you very much.

ー The door opens

Count Walter: Why hello, you two. Since you have chosen to return to this castle a second time, I assume you have set all of your misconducts straight?

Ayato: Che, this guy has no shame, does he? Look at him talk as if he doesn’t already know everything...

Yui: Well, actually...ーー

ー Yui explains everything

Yui: ーー And there you have it. Therefore, we are unable to fix the key...

Count Walter: Hm, I see. However, that means you fail to meet my conditions.

Unfortunately, I fear I won’t be able to return the heart to you...

No, however...A key, huh...? My apologies, could you perhaps show me said key for a second?

Ayato: ...? The key? Sure? It’s broken and can’t be used though.

*Cling*

Count Walter: ...This is...!

Ayato: ...What? Is there somethin’ fishy ‘bout it after all?

Count Walter: I want you to tell me everything you know about the individual who handed you this key.

Yui: The individual...? Well, he’s the owner of the cellar which connects to the underground waterway...

Ayato: From the looks of it, he’s plottin’ somethin’ with a bunch of other shady dudes. Their sneaky behavior really screamed trouble.

Count Walter: ...I see. Just as I thought...

Yui: Um...Does it ring a bell, perhaps?

Count Walter: ...I assume those people are the gang of young Wolves who have been causing trouble all around this area as of late.

This key most likely opens the door to my personal basement. ...They must be planning to invade this castle.

Yui: Eh...? Then...

Ayato: Then what should we do? We can’t get them to forgive us unless we get that key fixed.

But if we repair the key, we’ll pretty much help them commit a crime, no?

Count Walter: ...Well, that’s what it would come down to.

Yui: Then, this case...

Count Walter: ...Fufu. Do you perhaps think that this has solved everything, Miss?

Yui: ...I mean...

( To get the owner of that house to forgive us, we have to do something which would directly disadvantage the Count... )

 ( So wouldn’t it make sense if he lets this one slide to avoid having his own castle invaded...? )

Count Walter: Please do not panic. I will not deny that these are unforeseen circumstances.

Let me make you a new offer.

Ayato: Haah? What do you mean!?

Count Walter: For example, if you lend me a helping hand in seizing those Wolves...

I would not mind returning the heart in question as a reward. ...How does that sound?

Ayato: Aah!? Where does that suddenly come from!? Can’t we let the Police handle that gang!?

Count Walter: Haha. What a funny thing to say. Ayato...Seems like you’ve taken your Father’s orders to heart and have become rather adapted to your life in the human world.

A convenient organization such as the ‘police’ does not exist in this town. Have you forgotten that? Fufu...

Ayato: Che, oh fuck off! It just slipped my mind for a second!

Anyway, we don’t know how many opponents we’re dealin’ with, so how are we supposed to handle this all on our own?

Count Walter: Like I said, slow down. I never said you had to do it on your own, did I?

Oi, bring our guests in!

ー The doors open once more

Yui: ...!

( These people... )

Ayato: O-Oi, these guys...

Count Walter: I had them gathered here because I had a hunch this might happen. What do you say? They seem familiar, no?

Yui: ( The Pretzel and Crepe Vendors...As well as the Locksmith...Everyone... )

Count Walter: Every single one of them has decided to give you their forgiveness.

On top of that, they are willing to help us take care of this gang.

Pretzel Vendor: Those guys who tried to destroy my shop belong to that gang as well.

The Parade is when we make the most money, so I don’t appreciate them getting in the way of my business.

Locksmith: I can’t stand the thought of knowing that I nearly ended up helping a bunch of thugs commit a crime either.

My skills are to help others, not to aid someone in their thievery. 

Count Walter: ...As you can tell, the people of this town are more than fed up with this gang.

They have been playing with the idea of taking care of them soon. You could say that right now is the perfect opportunity.

Ayato: Heeh, so basically we’ll all work together to completely wipe out this gang, right?

Sure thing. Count me in. However, I do have one condition.

Count Walter: ...What would that be?

Ayato: Return her heart right here, right now.

Yui: ...!

Ayato: I’ve been on edge this whole time, worryin’ that perhaps she’ll collapse again.

I’d be way too distracted to efficiently take care of some gang when like this...

Besides...I don’t want to see her suffer one second longer.

If you return her heart, I’ll assure you that I’ll take care of those thugs down to the very last one...

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Ayato: Please! Save her...I’m beggin’ you...!

Count Walter: ...

Yui: ( Ayato-kun...Having to lower his head to someone should be the thing he hates most... )

Count Walter: ...Sakamaki Ayato. You were not lying just now, were you?

Ayato: Aah? Lyin’? As if!

Count Walter: ...I see.

But are you sure? By returning her heart, she will once again become the target of other Vampires.

Ayato: I figured that might be the case, so I had Mr. Four-Eyes Smarty-Pants arrange me some Vampire repellent. 

Besides, I’ll be there to protect her, so she has nothin’ to worry ‘bout!

Count Walter: ...Very well. I must say I am impressed by your words just now.

One could say that entrusting the two of you with said heart once more could be interesting in its own regard, I suppose...

Yui: ...!

Ayato: ...Then!

Count Walter: Very well. I shall return the heart to you for now.

Yui: ...Thank you very much!

Count Walter: ...However, it is too early to be relieved, you see? Depending on the actions you take, I could easily steal it once again.

If you fail to catch the gang, to give one example. Understood?

Ayato: Of course! We’ll make sure none of them get away!

Count Walter: Fufu. I am very much looking forward to that. Well then, let us get this strategy meeting started at once.

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Saint Nore Park’s venue

Ayato: He said that we’ll put the plan into action...Right as the Parade comes to an end, right?

Yui: Yeah...We still have some time.

Ayato: Right. Now what to do...Oh, hey, Chichinashi. Let’s ride that one. Over there.

Yui: The ferris wheel...?

Ayato: Yeah! In the end, the Parade’s gonna come to an end no matter what.

So don’t you think it’d be nice to get a nice overview of everythin’ before it does?

Yui: ...Good idea.

( The Parade will end tonight... )

( In the end, I wasn’t able to enjoy it together with Ayato-kun in peace... )

( However, I’m plenty happy just being able to spend time together like this. )

( Besides...Our true time to shine has yet to come... )

ー The scene shifts to inside the ferris wheel

Yui: ( Once we get off the ferris wheel, it’ll almost be time to get started with the plan... )

( It was decided we would serve as decoy, carrying a fake key with us... )

ー A flashback ensues

Count Walter: There is one thing I must warn you about.

They are experts at handling explosives. They might use them this time as well.

Therefore it is very important that you proceed with the plan without them realizing your true intentions.

...Including that part, the success or failure of this whole strategy depends on you two. Can I count on you?

ー The flashback ends

Yui: ( Our opponent has explosives...We might find ourselves in danger... )

( Ayato-kun... )

Selection

→ Grab his hand (☾)

*Rustle*

Ayato: ...Why did you suddenly grab my hand...?

You love doin’ this, don’t you? ...Hehe.

Yui: ...I mean...Uu...

Ayato: Let’s get this over with quickly and make the best of the Parade, ‘kay?

Yui: ( ...He squeezed my hand back... )

→ Stare at him

Ayato: ...Why are you starin’ at me like that...?

Yui: ...I mean...

Ayato: ...Did you get scared after hearin’ ‘bout the explosives or somethin’? 

Yui: ...

Ayato: Haah...Don’t worry. It’s just a lil’ bomb.

Yui: ...But.

Ayato: Say, Yui? Once we get off the ferris wheel, you should head back to the hotel first. 

Yui: Eh...?

Ayato: I’ll head to their hideout by myself. Don’t worry. I can ensure you everythin’ will go as pla...

Yui: ...You can’t do that! I can’t possibly...let you go by yourself...

I’ll go with you...!

Ayato: ...But we might be dealin’ with some seriously dangerous guys, you know? The Count said there’s a lot of them as well...

Yui: ...Exactly...I can’t let you go to such a dangerous place all by yourself...

I don’t want to...

Ayato: Yui...

Yui: ...Besides, they might grow suspicious if you show up by yourself, don’t you think?

If there’s a woman with you, they might let down their guard a little...

I got my heart back as well, so I promise I’ll carry my weight...

So please, take me with you...I’m begging you...!

Ayato: ...

Yui: ( Anyway, I don’t want him going by himself... )

*Rustle*

Ayato: ...Haah, you’re such a pain in the ass...

Fine. In return, don’t you dare leave my side, ‘kay? Can you promise that?

Yui: ...Yeah, I promise.

Ayato: Okay. Let’s go together then. I’ll protect you, no matter what happens.

...So stay with me.

Yui: Ayato-kun...

*Rustle*

Ayato: Oh, check it out! The view’s quite nice.

Yui: You’re right...How pretty...

Ayato: To be honest, I was really hopin’ we could get this all over with sooner so I could enjoy the Parade with you...

Yui: ...

Say, Ayato-kun?

Ayato: Hm? What?

Yui: You see, I...I’ve been having this dream lately.

Ayato: ...Dream?

Yui: Yeah...I don’t know for sure, but I think it might be the Count showing me this dream...

Ayato: ...The Count?

Yui: ...Inside that dream, you see. He told me. That you’re only trying to save me because of my heart...

And that you don’t actually care for me as a person...

Ayato: ...That’s not...!

Yui: But don’t worry. I’m well aware...You’re not that kind of guy.

I know that there’s not a single other individual in this world who cares for me as deeply as you do...

I also believe you...When you say you’ll protect me...

Ayato: ...Yui...

ー He embraces her

*Rustle*

Yui: ...

Ayato: Hmph. You really are a fool. Did that dream have you worried?

Geez, that darn Count. Just when will he stop messin’ with you...?

He pisses me off...!

*Rustle rustle*

Ayato: Oi, listen carefully.

You are mine, understood? I won’t let anyone else have their way with you ever again.

Not some Count, nor a bunch of thugs...Nobody. Nn...

Yui: ...Nn...

Ayato: ...Nn...

Yui: ( ...Ayato-kun... )

( ...I love you... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Aizen Alleyway

Vampire Child C: Mama, hurry! It’s timeー!

Vampire Mother A: Watch out! You’ll drop your lantern in a hurry!

Ayato: ...Okay, let’s get goin’. Ready?

Yui: Yeah.

( It’s finally time to get our plan started... )

Ayato: ...Are you nervous?

Yui: Eh...? Well, yeah...A little...

Ayato: Hmph. I’m here with you, remember?

Well, you can just think of this as one of the attractions and enjoy the show, ‘kay?

Yui: ( ...Ayato-kun... )

...Yeah.

ー The scene shifts to the underground passage

*Knock*

Ayato: ...Oi. We brought the key as promised.

Owner: ...Ooh, you’re finally here. Come on in.

ー They enter the cellar

Thug A: Hmph. We figured the two of you had run away since it took you so long.

Ayato: Aah? Think again!

Owner: ...Whatever. Anyway, give us the key.

Ayato: Of course. Here...

Yui: ...The key’s right here...

*Cling*

Owner: ...Hooh. It really is...

...That being said, I have to say I’m impressed you managed to fix it. I’m sure you realized that this key is special?

Ayato: Well, yeah. However, that’s no big deal to me.

...Anyway, we’re even now, right?

Owner: Yeah, we are. ...If this key was real, that is...!

*Thud*

Yui: ...Kyah!?

Ayato: ...Yui!?

Owner: Don’t move. If you value this woman’s life at least...

*Cling*

Yui: ( ...He pulled out a knife...! )

Ayato: The fuck you doin’, you bastard!? Let her go at once!

Owner: Fufu...Don’t get your panties in a knot. Once we determine whether this key is real or not, we’ll let her go right away.

It’s real, right? Then you’ve got nothing to worry about. ...Correct?

Ayato: Che...

Thug B: Well, if it turns out to be a fake, we’ll kill her on the spot, of course. Hehe.

Ayato: Say that again!? Fuck off! In your dreams!

Owner: Either way, we’ll know as soon as we put this key in the door in question.

So why don’t we go and try it out right away...?

*Thud*

Yui: ...!

( At this rate, they’ll find out it’s a fake...! )

ー They start walking away

Ayato: Ugh...Wait...! Be a lil’ more gentle with her!

ー The scene shifts to right in front of the door

Owner: Well then, go ahead and open the door...

*Cling*

Ayato: ...Fine...

Yui: ( Oh no...We have to find an opening somehow, or the two of us will... )

Ayato: ...

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Ayato: ...Don’t worry. Everything’s fine...

*Clunk*

*Ba-dump・ba-dump・ba-dump*

Yui: ( ...God, please...! )

*CLICK*

Ayato: ...The key...?

Yui ( ...It worked...? )

Owner: ...Hooh.

Ayato: ...See? Didn’t I tell you? There’s no way we’d bring you a fa...

*Creaaak*

Yui: ( ...The door opened by itself...? )

???: Now’s our chance! Seize them!!

???: Uooooh!!

ー The other people storm out of the door

Thug A: Wha...!?

Owner: ...What’s going on!?

Thug B: Pull back! We’re retreatin’ for now!!

ー They start running away

Crepe Vendor: Hah! You wish!

Yui: ( From behind as well, the others!! )

Ayato: Yui!! Now’s your chance! Come here!! 

Yui: Ayato-kun...!

Owner: Che, not on my watch!

*Rustle*

Yui: Kuh...!

Ayato: Yui...!

Owner: Everyone, back off! Or else, she’s a goner!

Locksmith: Che...How dare you resort to such filthy tactics...!

Owner: Hah! Run your mouth all you want! Come on, woman. This way!!

*Rustle*

Yui: Ayato-kun!

ー He runs off with Yui

Ayato: Fuck! You’re not gettin’ away!! ...Wait!!

ー The scene shifts back to the cellar

*Thud*

Yui: Kyah...

( This is...the cellar... )

Owner: Haah...Haah...God, we were so close too! You little pests...

...Now that it’s come to this, I just gotta blow up this whole cellar along with all evidence which could lead back to us!

Woman...That includes you, get it...? Hehe...

*Pang pang*

Yui: ( ...This is...! )

( There’s explosives hidden inside the wall...! )

*Thud thud*

Ayato: Yui!! Are you unharmed!! You bastard...! Open this door right now!!

*THUD THUD*

Yui: Uu...!

Ayato-kun! Don’t come in here!!

Gather everyone and run away together!!

Ayato: Aah!? You really think I can do that!?

Yui: Please! Listen to me! There’s a bomb in here...!

Ayato: Ugh...! Then I definitely can’t leave you behind and run!!

Fuck!! Yui! Yui...!!

*THUD THUD*

Owner: Hehe...If you have any final words, now’s your chance.

*Flash*

Yui: ( ...He lit the fuse...! )

Owner: Too bad, this is the end...

*THUD*

Ayato: ーー !!

Yui: Ayato-kun, no! Run...ーー!!

Ayato: Hell no!! Didn’t I tell you that you’re mine!?

I won’t abandon you, even if it kills meーー!!

*BANG BANG*

ー The screen fades to white

Ayato: Ugh...!!

Yui: Kyaaaah!!

( Ayato-kun...!! )

*BANG*

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 3

→ PROCEED TO NORMAL ENDING

→ PROCEED TO FINALE ENDING

[benscursedkid]

uhhh hi! if your valentines day reqs are still open could you do a jae kim x fem!reader and a former!penny haywood x fem!reader? like in the same fic, if not thats totally fine! thank you!

hello! thank you for requesting! i will try my best, but a lot of the circumstances here have been left unspecified so if this isn’t to your liking, you’re absolutely welcome to send in another one, as always! ((this got much longer than i planned))

happy valentine’s day! 💗✨

Okay, so in his defense, Jae hasn’t exactly had lots of experience with Valentine’s Day. Or, more accurately, having a valentine for Valentine’s Day.

He didn’t hate the holiday. On the contrary, the lovers’ holiday always brings in lots of customers for his little side business. When you can’t trust the staff to get you what you need, you must be forced to look elsewhere. Jae is elsewhere.

It’s rather easy actually. Enchant a howler to sing ballads instead of scream insults here, candles made out of amortentia, a few orders of multiplying chocolate roses there. Business is booming this time of year and he owes it all to the Day of Love. So, really, how could he possibly hate the holiday?

Let him tell you why.

He has no idea what to get you.

You’d think for someone with a stock like Jae’s, finding an appropriate gift would be easy. A piece of cake, right? Wrong. Every gift that he can possibly think of to give to you, he’s already sold to someone else at one point before. Flowers that change to the favorite color of the holder? Done before. Jewelry enchanted to fit only the wearer? Done. Doves entrusted with disappearing love poems? Done. Done. Done.

And Jae doesn’t want to give you just any gift. He wants it to be special. Many a buyer has claimed him a secret romantic, and while he has vehemently disagreed in the past, if ever a time came to prove them right it would most certainly be now.

But, unfortunately for him, it seems he’s pulled out all the stops for strangers. Not his best moment.

After about the entirety of his January was wasted in struggle, Jae eventually caved and turned to Ben for help. Being his roommate, the blonde’s innate knack for charms did not escape his notice and he figured if anyone were to help him out of his funk, it’d be him. Not to mention, being his best friend has its perks too.

It took only an hour for Jae to come up with his best idea yet. However, that said, it was a little ambitious for the two students and they enlisted the help of charming Professor Flitwick—who, much to Jae’s immense relief, seemed absolutely delighted to help, saying something about “finally putting his creativity to use”—to ensure his vision became a reality.

Finally, at seven pm on Love Day, after a whole morning and afternoon’s worth of quality time spent between giggles and stolen kisses, he is finally able to present you with his gift. Fortune favors the bold and all that, right? Or was it brave....?

Eh, he’s a Gryffindor. He’ll try his luck.

The two of you are slipping through the dark corridors, the only source of light granted by the quaint, alluring candles that dot the extensive hall. The glow casts an illusion of warmth across your face, catching on the color of your eyes so purposefully, so brilliantly that for a moment Jae forgets to breathe.

“Thank you for today,” You tell him, your fingers intertwined as you bring them up to kiss his knuckles affectionately. Jae blushes and doesn’t even attempt to hide it. “For a while there, I couldn’t have seen myself doing this with anyone but Penny. And I hate to bring it up, but...just know that today was all I could have asked for.”

You push up on your toes, smirking just slightly as you brush your lips against his in a whisper of a kiss. “And so much more.”

Usually, Jae detests when your very intimidating and long-lasting history with mutual friend—and your now ex—Penny Haywood is brought up. Jae knows what the two of you had was important to you, and he trusts you entirely, but sometimes when he watches as you both settle back into an easy friendship, his heart flips painfully in his chest. It is not a rare occurrence for him to wonder, If someone as pretty and popular and considerate as Penny couldn’t keep you, what chance does he stand?

Today though, he finds he can’t seem to muster up the energy to feel insecure when you’re looking at him like that and your smile threatens to cut so wide he knows your cheeks will hurt in the morning.

Jae chuckles, the sound a deeper rumble than usual as he pulls his gift out from his pocket. “Well, the day’s not over yet. I have one more surprise for you.”

Your eyebrow arches and your eyes light up in interest, mirth dancing in the small flames he finds reflected there. You grin. “And what might that be?”

Deciding that it’s now or never, he smirks and drops what looks to be nothing more than a common remembrall in your hand. Your reaction is expected.

“A remembrall?”

He shakes his head. “Not just any remembrall. A romantic remembrall.”

You snicker, but don’t disbelieve him. “Just because you add a word in front of it, doesn’t make it any different.”

“This one is different though. I had Ben and Flitty help me with it, so you might want to shoot them a thanks too when you see ‘em, but it took me two weeks to make.”

You tilt your head, a soft but curious smile on your face. “And what does it do?”

Jae points to where it’s currently filled with its usual crimson red smoke with a sly grin. “Well love, you see, unlike a regular old remembrall, this one will only light up if the person who gave it you is presently thinking of you.”

You stop, your eyes flicking down to peer at the smoke already swirling around inside. When you look back up at him, your eyes are filled with such strong emotion, Jae thinks he might melt on the spot.

“Jae...”

“If you carry it around with you, or even just leave it on your desk in your dorm, this way you will always know just how often you’re on my mind.”

For a brief second, you don’t say anything—too tongue-tied to find the right words. So instead, you wrap an arm around his neck and plant a happy kiss against his lips.

Jae smiles into it.

Just wait until next year.

[twisted-in-wonderland-jay]

Greetings! I would like to request a story about Sebek Zigvolt and Epel Felmier, being friends interacting. I thought it would be great during Flying lessons, working together for the day, and maybe talking about their insecurities once they are comfortable with each other. Please take care of yourself and do not feel obliged to rush making it. Thank you very much for your effort and your sharings, have a nice day!

Setting: Flying lessons and after

Characters: Epel and Sebek

Lol I’m so sorry I made Epel a little to cocky…

Sebek watched in awe at the other first year zooming by, doing all sorts of tricks.

“Felmier! Get down here now!” Epel stopped and glided down with a round of his eyes. “You know better then to do all that. This is basic flying not a competition. You could injure yourself or others.” Epel put his head down. “Say if you’ve going this much energy why not help out your fellow classmates?”

“Fine Professor Vargas.” Epel walked over to Sebek and Deuce. “So do you guys need help of something? Vargas says I need to help you guys get of the ground.” Sebek replied,

“No I’ve got the basics down.”

“Same here. I’m taking off now” Deuce then as he said took off.

“Then why aren’t you up there?” Epel glanced to Sebek

“I’m simply watching my lord.” Epel looked up to the sky, covering the sun from his vision, he could see Malleus with Lilia flying together.

“So why are you just watching?”

“I’m to be there incase my lord falls!” Sebek continued to watch Malleus.

“Don’t you think he’d catch himself with magic though?” Epel shrugged with an annoyed face. “Come on teach says I gotta help someone and your it. Let’s go”

Sebek thought about it and decided to follow reasoning ‘Malleus is great at everything and Epel was right and would catch himself’. Sebek and Epel took off rising up to the rest of the class. Epel was top of the first years when it came to flying skills while Sebek wasn’t the best he certainly wasn’t going to fall either. Epel started to lay back on his broom,

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? You might fall, Epel!” Epel chuckled,

“You really think I’d fall Sebek? Not likely. I’ve got time to kill since I don’t have to practice.” Sebek saw a shadow go over him and looked up to see his lord, he continued to watch him for a time. Sebek didn’t notice Epel looking at him now sitting up. “Are you still watching ‘your lord’” Epel mocked “I’ve noticed when you do thinks it’s always because of Malleus or ‘I can’t hang out because I have to watch Malleus.’.” Sebek sighed, “I was entrusted with the responsibility to watch over and protect Malleus, out of all the students and people in the world, it’s MY JOB!”

“Why don’t you do things for yourself?”

“I do this for myself.”

“No you don’t. Come on there has to be something that you love that you can’t do because your with Malleus all the time, like a hobby? Don’t you hate that?”

“Well… I like horseback riding and science. I don’t really get to do my club activities sometimes because Silver or Lilia are away.”

“See. I’m sure Malleus is fine for the hour or two your away. Or at night your not with him.”

“But!”

“No ‘buts’ Malleus is one of the most powerful mages in the world i’m sure he can take care of himself.”

After Flying in a study hall

“Your allowed to talk and work out homework with your peers.” Mozus finished.

Sebek went to sit with Epel. One because Malleus doesn’t have this class and more importantly two what Epel said to him before.

“Hello, can I sit with you, Epel?” Epel looked up and patted the seat next to him, inviting Sebek to sit.

“Thanks for sitting with me.” Epel whispers leading in “I suck at history.”

“Well I can help you then, I also wanted to thank you for what you said earlier, It really opened my eyes.”

“No problem, now the real problem is that I have no clue who this guy is.” Epel chuckled.

“I’m better at Analytical magic, but that’s not to say I’m bad at history.” Sebek started to explain. “There we go. Now we’re even, Epel. I helped you just as you helped me.”

“Thanks, but I have another favor to ask, but I’ll ask at lunch.” No sooner did class end.

When class ended the students made their way to the cafeteria for lunch. Sebek usually sat next to Malleus but today he instead looked for Epel. He eventually found him in the courtyard on a bench.

“Hey Sebek! Come on over!” Epel yelled. This startled Sebek because Epel always had a soft and gentle voice, and never did he raise it.” Sebek walked over a sat down.

“So what was it you wanted to ask?” Epel’s eyes lit up, as he pointed to Sebek’s arms.

“How are you so strong, I could never. I thought you were the best person to ask, that is if your okay with answering.”

“No I don’t mind, it’s simple. I train with Silver in sword play almost everyday, run and general exercises each day. Anyone can do it, I find the simplest way is the best way.”

“You say anyone like it’s easy.”

“What do you mean?” Epel sighed the said.

“Well, it’s Vil, he’s always wanting me to be a dainty little thing, polite and sweet, like a princess or something. And it annoys the hell outta me!” Epel’s voice got more annoyed, Sebek could hear a different accent coming out, but before it could Epel finished. “I just… I hate It. I was raised in the country and I wanna be more of a man. That’ all, and I thought you were the best person to go to about it… Cause I wanna be like you.”

“Hahahaha” Sebek laughed out, “Just ignore him, your, your own person. If you follow my advice, well… help me with something I’ll help you. We’ll just focus on lean muscles, that way they don’t show much. I owe you this much.”

“Awesome!” Epel jumped up off the bench ion excitement, he turned back to ask, “Wait, what did you need help with?” Sebek’s face showed a shy smile and a light blush turned his ears and cheeks light pink.

“Well um. I’m good at science, math and most things, but I’m kinda lacking in the creative aspect of life, and I… I’ve been told to be quieter. If you can help me, I’ll help you.” Epel held out his hand, “Right! I’ll try to help! But just so you know you’re a lot tamer than I am, so I don’t know how much I can help.” Sebek told Epel’s hand to solidify their promises to help the other.

[fantranslatorbychoice]

Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Intermission 3 - Kasuga and O-ryo

T/N: Yep, it’s a double premiere guys, I hope you all enjoy. =)

As always, if you like this translation, you can heart it, share the link, reblog, I just respectfully ask that DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. This is my contribution to the scant English content of this fandom, and I worked really hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just copy-pasted everything. I even had to build the kanji in Jisho one by one. Try it and you’ll see what I mean.You can rave about this, rant about this, reply, etc. but if possible please link back to this page. If you’re unsure how to do that, just copy the web address of this page. If you’re on a blogsite just insert the web address as a hyperlink as a link back to here. Honestly if this light novel was officially-published in English, I wouldn’t even be doing this right now... And if it did, I’d take this offline to support the publishers and Yuuma-sensei. Creators support creators, is what I believe in. I’ll prolly do 1-5 once 6-10 has been done, or however long I can manage to translate the raw texts, it can take a toll at times.  As previously-mentioned in earlier chapters, if you stumbled upon this one, the two seasons of the anime covered volumes 1-5, so other than the extra details, you didn’t miss much stuff.

No spoilers lol

P261 "Hmph. You're the newly-hired kid? Really, you're named Kasuga? Aren't you a stumpy little tanuki-girl? I am O-ryo, the future Wakaokami. I'll train you under me, and I'll be sure to drill the job of being a waitress into your head."

I remember well, the day that I first met O-ryo sama. I am Kasuga, a Bunmon Tanuki, while still a child was chased off from my home by my Hachiyo Baba-sama to experience the outside world, and along with my uncle Chiaki who also has nowhere else to go, we inquired in, and started working in Tenjin-ya. It was that first day. That person who called me stumpy, has hair and skin as white as snow, it was the conspicuously beautiful snow lady. Her personality is of someone who hates losing. She was a selfish Sempai, but has an indomitable and strong willpower to rise to the top, and I thought that surprisingly, I have come to like this person. As such, in order to gain her dream position of Wakaokami, she exerted herself no matter what it took. P262 A woman who fights her battles to win. I came to her side and I recorded her heroic battles, and I wrote about it in my diary.

"Hey.... Hey, why are you asking something while falling asleep, Kasuga-kun, HEY!" "Whaaaa~" In the middle of talking about something regarding a Hachiyo's marriage at great length, sitting on my heels I was nodding off to sleep. Since early morning I have been with Aoi-chan, and I have been going about here and there. I was feeling confident. I was dozing off in front of Byakuya-sama. Is Byakuya-sama angry or is he surprised? "Good grief. You're a reliable and shrewd girl girl, and I think that it's beyond expectations that you're going to get married to a Hachiyo... yet I am worried that they'll find faults on you. That is a position that has many enemies, do you understand? "Yeah, I get it. I have watched Aoi-chan for a long time. But Aoi-chan is awesome... Even though she's in a disadvantage, she was aware of her own strengths. Furthermore, in Tenjin-ya, when Aoi-chan gets married to Odanna-sama, isn't there anyone who grumbles about it?" "Hmmm. in that case, isn't that a problem? Because nobody's complaining, probably there's a group that's P263 thinking about rubbing her out of existence." "That point, I am fine with that. I plan to not make enemies with my demeanor, an incomptetent person making a blunder. Well, at any rate, from the very start I have been incompetent." "..." Byakuya-sama narrowed his eyes, and with a snap hit the corner of his mouth with his fan. I thought that he was going to say something but, he just scolded me and released me after saying "You can go now" . Wahh, after standing up from sitting on my feet, they fell asleep and started tingling painfully... Holding the Maneki-neko** coin bank, I planned to go back to Yugao. Along the way, the waitresses looked over here, and started gossiping and whispering to each other. Up until now the friends that were calling me in carefree voices, and the sempai that used to fiddle with and pushed me around, now they pass sideways, and bow their heads subserviently, and flees anywhere. Oh well, I could understand why they became like that but... I come in contact with the management staff that were like Shizuna-chan and they are normally composed, but I'm a normal girl, aren't I? I feel like I'm a sore thumb sicking out. "Kasuga, Kasuga" "...Chiaki" From the other side of the hallway, peeping over here looking worried, it was my uncle, the tanuki. T/N: Maneki-neko, the beckoning cat, famously known for bringing in luck. It's said that it was originally named after a cat that waved to a monk to go inside a shrine and the monk almost got struck by lightning or something, so it was a lucky omen. P264 He approached while calling for me. "What is it, from now onwards I'm helping out at Yugao." "It's not that, you were called for by Byakuya-sama, and I got worried somewhat." "It's nothing. It's just that I'm developing a souvenir product with Aoi-chan." "Why you, aren't you scowling at me?" "Why, my relative shouldn't speak about me flippantly." He isn't necessarily overprotective and he wasn't saying anything like that, but ever since the old days Chiaki has been worrying about me. He's just a nice and charming person who took care of me, and he always looks after those that are just like me. Though I'm already fine, even at this age he still worries about me... "Chiaki aren't you staying behind here in Tenjin-ya?" "Yep. I'll continue working here. Even though I was thinking of coming along with you." "It's fine, it's nothing. I've always been taken care of by uncle, I cannot function properly being a Hachiyo's wife." "...Kasuga" His eyes gloomily welling up, holding down the corner of his eyes, Chiaki went "That tiny Kasuga has grown to be praise-worthy" "Ahhh stop it already, don't be gloomy.. Get over it." Shh... Uncle you're annoying. P265 While being paid extra care, I could feel myself fading away. Our relationship, even though we are family, here we cannot become too overly-familiar. The love that tanuki give to each other are the strongest among Ayakashi, as such they aren't entrusted to to other people, which makes tanuki unaware about so many things such as getting close to and connecting with strangers. Those people, now matter how much we studied them, we couldn't find them... With regards to those, I thought I learned those in Tenjin-ya.

"Oh.." In front of the passageway that connects the door to Yugao, there is someone who is sneakily peeping in. Isn't that... "O-ryo sama, what are you doing over that place?" "Kyaaa!" O-ryo sama jumped up suprised. With a sluggish expression, she slowly looked back. Opening her mouth as if about to talk, hesitatingly, she made a weird face by sticking her lower lip out. "H-hmph." In the end, O-ryo sama took her leave without saying anything. P266 I slightly tugged on O-ryo sama's sleeves. "What now?" O-ryo sama icily stared down at me with that severe gaze. Oh well, I've been used to that gaze. "Uhm, I believe so, that O-ryo sama will likely aim to be Wakaokami again." ".... what?" "Within Tenjin-ya, there's something that only O-ryo sama can surely do." Pulling my hands immediately from the hem, I madly dashed towards the inner garden where Yugao was. The O-ryo sama who was aiming to be Wakaokami. And the one who made her dream come true, the O-ryo sama that became Wakaokami. To me, O-ryo sama is dazzling, despite the many enemies she makes, being hated by her colleagues, being gutsy and only wants to rise up into the world. The one I adored. After doing so many different things, O-ryo sama eventually became demoted from Wakaokami, and yet... When O-ryo sama becomes Wakaokami once again. Truly, I support that from the sidelines..

End of Intermission 3, Volume 6. Previous - Chapter 8 Next - Chapter 9

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations  and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

[docholligay]

Doc Loves Watership Down

FUCK DO I LOVE WATERSHIP DOWN. I love Watership Down. I love it so very much, it is without a doubt one of my favorite books of all time. It is the book I shove into people’s hands if they haven’t read it. (speaking of @rosepetalrevolution, did you ever finish it? You have the copy that has my notes ahahah.) It’s the only book or TV series or anything I’ve considered getting a tattoo of. I have El-ahrairah and the black rabbit in a circle on my jacket. I love it so much that if I had to name my kid a “fandom name,” Hazel would be one of a very short list (I would not, children are not billboards for your fandoms). 

One of the discussions I often get into is “Watership Down isn’t a children’s novel” well it did in fact win the Guardian award for children’s literature and the Carnegie medal. I would unkindly argue that dark and intense books have long been part of children’s lives: Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, Bridge to Terabithia, etc. But in the last, oh, 20 years or so, and you see this in children’s movies too, there has been a movement to take the teeth out of everything. This is not because children are incapable of grappling with painful and difficult things, but because adults cannot handle helping their children navigate fear and sadness. It vexes them. Fear and sadness in fiction helps us learn how to deal with grief and cowardice and all manner of things. MAH SOAPBOX. 

I wonder if my take on children’s lit, and ability to handle such things, doesn’t have something to do with my being Jewish. White goyische kids really don’t have to stare down the barrel of life, and so their parents value them keeping their ‘innocence’ and not being upset, but , this is not really an option for Jewish kids, who learn very quickly that the world will literally murder us in a grand swatch. We read fucking Number the Stars in second grade, there was no hiding it. So forgive me if I don’t feel bad that Brandlyn cries over a dead rabbit. She’ll be fine. It’s a learning experience. 

I was 6 years old when my mother first read me Watership Down. It’s so strange, I’ve read Watership Down at least 25 times over the course of my life, and it’s been a different experience as I’ve gotten older and older. I can only speak about this in broad strokes as its the non-spoilery part of the gushing, but I think it stands up to rereads, and I think there’s plenty for an older reader to pick up in it. 

In the fashion of a great deal of British Literature, it’s not written in a simplistic way. In fact, I think for your average 6-8 year old, it would almost certainly have to be read TO them. I have a weird perspective on stuff, as I was a VERY advanced reader, and so I don’t always know what kids can physically read. But I think your average 10-12 year old could read it. But the beauty of it really rests within that language, within the way Adams describes things and lays out the Lapin culture for you. 

For really, this is one of the great strengths of the book: Rabbit life and culture is very different from human life and culture, and Adams does not shy away from that. The culture is incredibly well thought out, the myths are satisfying, and the motivations that drive them are utterly alien to our own. Adams writes about the rabbits and their culture in a way that is never sentimental, and always unblinking. Some people, I think, don’t connect with this. They’re much more used to what I might call a “disney-style” look at animals, where they are essentially humans with fur. Adams does not indulge in this, even slightly. 

If you appreciate the massive world building of Lord of the Rings, you will appreciate Watership Down. 

There’s also a real balance between the strengths of the rabbits, as well. Physical toughness is not devalued, it has its place. Cleverness has its place. Storytelling has its place. Literal prescience sometimes is not the most useful card in the hand. They all take their place and their part over the course of the novel. Everyone has a use in this, and only with all of them can they make it to where they need to go. 

Ultimately, it’s a story of survival, and of dedication, and of the will to keep going. It’s a story about being clever and full of tricks, and outwitting your enemy. It’s about man, in parts, but ultimately its about what it means to be a rabbit, about the making of a hero. It’s about overcoming horrors and struggle in order to make something for yourself, and I think its a terribly strong novel. Right at the top of my list. 

Spoilery under the cut

There’s a quote from a magazine or newspaper that says something to the effect of “If there is no room for Watership Down among children’s literature, then children’s literature is dead” and that’s basically my spicy take on the issue. Watership Down affected me more than any single book I read as a child, I think. So much of what I carried through into adulthood, so much of how I see myself and my place in the world, comes from this book. 

And how do you not love a book that takes the destruction of the warren, the killing of so many rabbits, and instead of doing the weak thing and having it be all about how some farmer or whatever the fuck ever hated the rabbits, it comes down to “We were in their way. They killed us to suit themselves.” It’s a greater accusation of human nature than most things would dare to me. It’s brilliant in the way it conceives of humanity up against rabbitkind, not even so much as enemies, but creatures living in contest with each other. 

When I was, oh god, probably in high school, I reread the book, and I saw it as an inherently Jewish book, about having to outwit all those who would try to kill you, about having to create your own home. Years later, I read a really good article from Rachel Kadish, who writes, just, great Jewish books, and she said she had the same experience, but she was smarter than me, and pointed out that so many people see their own journey in Watership Down, and that’s part of the genius of it. SO many people can read the story of their own heritage and culture onto that, or their own personal lives, and I think this is why it endures so fiercely. It connects to us all. 

Much has been made of the fact that the female rabbits are only picked up for breeding purposes, and that’s a fine and fair criticism. But I am not of the mind to throw the baby out with the bathwater, and I think that rabbit culture is different enough from our own that for me as a kid, it didn’t bother me. If anything, it’s a fantastic point to introduce one’s children to the concept of ‘fix-it fic’ and ask them to imagine female rabbits, and what they might do, and how they might contribute beyond digging the dens and having children. But I am a fan of acknowledging when something doesn’t work for one within a story and fixing it yourself, or talking about it, versus simply 86ing it, if there are things one determines to be worth saving. I can’t live anyone’s life for them though. 

One of the most important things to me about the book is that it ends with Hazel’s death after a relatively long and happy life. That is happily ever after, in the only real way it ever comes, and I don’t think many children’s books entrust children to be capable of learning that. And it’s not traumatic, Hazel literally ends up in the Owsla for El-ahrairah. It IS the happy ending, and it’s a good lesson for life in general, that to die fulfilled is a wonderful aspiration indeed.

[brucewaynehastoomanykids]

Request from @kallura-juniblade "Hi, I saw your post of requesting for more stories? Maybe where Damian had promised Raven to never used the Lazarus Pit prior JLAW? I really do love angst, hehe."

And so I shall deliver. Though, I decided to add a bit of a twist to it: instead of doing the setting prior to JLAW, I want to do it after, but with a different ending, where the flashpoint never happened, and Damian breaks his promise AGAIN.

_____________________________________

It had been years since Apokolips. And, whilst myself and the rest of the remaining fixed the earth from its damage, I had hoped that afterwords, things would be calmer, that Damian and I could actually start a semi normal life. And our life was normal for a long while. But soon, it was interrupted by villains, both new and old, reimagining from the ruins. Damian had decided that it would be in our best interest to become heroes again to stop these villains, to which I reluctantly agreed.

Though, maybe I shouldn't have.

Things started off normally. We would fight the bad guys, live to celebrate another day, and Damian would leave with his father every now and again for his own missions in a once large and glorious Gotham.

But one day, he came back angered. He spoke about how he was 'rusty' and 'unfit to help save the innocent'. I knew this wasn't true, and I tried my best to reassure him. Of course, it didn't work, not fully. His anger only continued to spike until it almost became normal to see him like this... and it was surely abnormal when he wasn't. So, when the time came where he was actually proud of himself and his abilities, I could tell something was seriously wrong.

"Damian, what's wrong?" I asked, rather bluntly after a while. Though I was happy to see him smile and be back to his usually cocky self, something seemed very off, like he was hiding something. Something he didn't want me to know.

"I'm fine." He replied in a almost sweet tone, his face away from me, about to retreat from the conversation to go God knows where.

"Then will you stop and look at me for a second? I can tell something is off about you, and I want to help, but I can't when you shut me down."

He turned to face me, rather dramatically. "There's nothing wrong." He matched my bluntness now.

But I wasn't having it. "You can't keep this all bottled up, you know? Bottling it up won't do any good. So stop pushing me away, and shutting me out."

"Yeah, well, I shut everyone out. Don't take it personally. It's just easier. Besides, you mean to tell me you don't do that as well?"

"The difference is that I don't run from the people who try and help me, Damian. So, tell me, why do you run away from your problems all the time?"

He only ignored my question and gave me a slight glare. "I'm fine. Stop asking."

I decided it was time to drop the tension before this caused a fight. "Damian, please, I just want to help you, alright? Please talk to me about it."

"I'm okay," he assured, calmly, "I'm perfectly fine." It was then, he saw my face. I supposed I had a pitiful look, because after a short pause of silence, he caved in. "Yeah... okay, I'm not fine."

"Then please, tell me what's wrong."

"I don't know what's wrong, okay? I'm just... really tired."

He was dodging, again. And worst of all he was lying. I could tell he knew exactly what was wrong. And I was starting to believe I knew what he was hiding: the only thing we could possibly do to make me upset with him, was to use the Lazarus Pit again. But on who? Unless... he did it to himself... I had been told horror stories of how that pit can cause the mind to, in a way, reprogram. People, once kind hearted and innocent, came out as heartless, blood thirsty monsters, and those stories were only confirmed when I laid eyes on Dick years ago after he was thrown in. If Damian had done the same treatment to himself, it would explain his recent hostility and secrecy.

"Damian, I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what's wrong, and don't try lying to me again." I demanded. "I have my suspicions but please... tell me I'm wrong. Just tell me... that you didn't use the pit again...?"

My voice began to waver and slow its pace. I felt like a child trying to sneak her way out of punishment for something she did wrong. I couldn't help it, I was too scared of the answer. The answer that, in words, never came. But his eyes spoke for him. They pleaded for forgiveness, but still managed to show some light of anger behind them as if to say 'Are you happy now? Huh? Does this make you happy? To know the truth?'

"Don't look at me like that..." He finally spoke.

"But you promised... twice..." I had hoped my words wouldn't come out as pitiful as I felt, but it seems I couldn't help myself. I quickly regain my sternness by adding, "I was an idiot to ever trust you."

"If it's any consolation, I did all of this for you." He took a step towards me, to which I only took one back.

"That's bullshit and you know it!" I snapped. "You did this for your own selfish needs!"

"It's true!" He persisted. "Raven, you know I couldn't have been any sort of help or protection against the bastards that lurk outside! I did this to be stronger, to help and protect you and what remains of my family! I did this because I love you!"

"Well, if this is love, I don't want it."

Damian stared at me wide eyed and shocked, but didn't say anything. We had stayed that way for a few more minutes before I finally spoke again.

"This stops now. And you're going to let me help you... I hope you realize how much pain this causes me to learn."

"I don't want to be saved." He said plainly as he began to walk away.

"Don't look away when I'm talking to you! Don't you dare do that!" I snapped, grabbing his arm and forcing him to face me. "Do you think you can just walk away from this?"

Damian glared. "I don't need help alright?! I just want to be better than I was!"

My eyes widened for a moment before looking away at him briefly, muttering to myself of how I wish I could just set him on fire for his behavior. Not only had he broken the same promise twice within just the span of a few years, but he didn't even want to tell me how he was really feeling? How deep his desires for power went? Did he not trust me enough?

"And did it ever really occur to you how much this hurts me? Or how badly this will hurt your father?" I looked at him sternly.

His eyes softened. "I just want to ensure people I love don't die tragically again... I can't have another war, Raven. Besides, I feel like the opportunity to impress my father left years ago."

I let out a long, exasperated sigh. "Are you done? Can you actually act like the adult you are? Face the truth, Damian. You didn't do this for me, for Bruce, for anyone other than yourself. You want to be better than that thirteen year old boy I met all those years ago, and why? To make yourself feel improved? To make up for that time we spent just being normal people for once? I had thought you'd actually enjoy that after we got together, but I suppose I was wrong..." I put squeezed the bridge of my nose between my right pointer finger and thumb. "You disgust me so much right now... I hope you knowing that at least counts for something. I'm done trying to help you."

He was silent for a moment, I could tell he was pondering over his next response. I was counting on an apology--a real apology. Or maybe even a proper explanation. Imagine my surprise when he finally said, "Well... maybe you're right, Raven. Maybe I was, and still am selfish. Maybe I didn't do it for anyone else--anyone I love. And on that note..." his eyes glared icy daggers, "maybe I just never loved you."

At first, I was shocked, and saddened by his words. But soon, sadness turned in to anger as I matched his glare and gritted my teeth, sneering, "You know what? I hate you! I'm sorry it took so damn long to realize that. I should have never entrusted you with anything of mine, especially my love. You're simply not worth it... very well, Damian. If this is how it's going to be, then fine. I'm leaving you." I turned to back my things, but not before ending my angered speech with a stern, "Goodbye. I won't be back."

It only then seemed like reality hit Damian. His expression grew panicked as he blocked my way, grabbing at my shoulders tightly.

"You can't leave me, not you!" He said, pleading. "If you go then I'll have no one, so... please don't go. Stay here with me."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Damian... consider this a taste of your own medicine."

His eyes flared back into their angered state as he gripped tighter, yelling, "I order you not to go!"

I glared at him. "You have no right to order me around, you never did! It's time you got to know how it feels to be betrayed!"

I managed to escape his grasp to lock myself in our once shared room to back my belongings into a small suitcase. I called Clark and told him the situation. He and I had grown rather close since Apokolips. I even consider him to be a father to me. Clark agreed to pick me up as soon as possible. When I walked back into the main area, Damian sat on the couch with his hand between his hands. I was just about to walk out the door before his words stopped me.

"Is this really the end?" He spoke sadly.

I gave him a sad look. "I can't do this anymore... not with you. I gave you a second chance, and you just used it to stab me in the back. I hope you grow up one day, Damian, and maybe then things will be different. But for now, this is, in fact, goodbye."

And with that, I walked out the door.

~

Months passed, and Damian only got worse. According to Bruce, he had become "Ra's 2.0." He was full on addicted to the Lazarus Pit, and back with the League of Assassins. I had tried my best to ignore any reports of Damian for my own sake, but it hurt Bruce, I could tell. So, I decided I was going to Infinity Island to stop him myself, for his fathers sake. Though, at the time, I didn't want to admit it was for mine and Damians as well.

My arrival mirrored that of what happened last time. Assassins tried to attack me, I fought to the best of my ability, and, boom, Damian shows and stops the attack. Except, it wasn't the late teen that met me, it was someone I had never seen before.

Damian's skin was a sickly pale, and slung to his body as if he had been deprived of neutrience for months. His hair had grown to the tip of his jaw, and his glazed eyes made him look much older than he was. It was clear his body wasn't taking the pit well.

He had lead me to a room in the palace to talk privately.

He huffed. "'Goodbye. I won't be back.'" He mimicked my passed words. I was amazed he had even remembered them, honestly. Had what I'd done really affect him that much?

"If it's any consolation," I stood tall to him, "I didn't want to come. I only came for your father's wellbeing."

Damian's eyes softened. "Is that how little you think of me?" He huffed again. "I wish I could ignore you like you ignore me."

"And I wish that was equivalent to how much you hurt me, just like how I wish I could increase that pain. But I know that if I had the chance, I wouldn't do it... because as much as my pride doesn't want me to admit it, I do still care about you at the very least. You can't open the story of my life and skip to page 738 and think you know my feelings, and you can't judge my story by the chapter you walk back in on." I shook my head. "But enough of the past. Damian, you need to stop this... you need to come back. You're just not the same anymore..."

He laughed. "Come back for my father? I think not."

"Then come back to me."

"I beg your pardon?" He cocked an angry brow.

"Come on, I know you need a reason to get out of here and I have one: me. I could be your reason to return."

The look on his face made it seem almost as if he was pondering the idea. But I should have known he was too far gone. After a moment of silence he ordered me to leave an never return. To which I reluctantly abloged. When I returned to Clark, who I was now living with, he could tell things did not go the way they were supposed to. He comforted me, telling me it was for the best to move on at that point.

~

Since then I've been living with Clark for two years. I never knew how much I would love living on a farm, but here I am. It's very peaceful. In regards to Damian, you would think after two years of separation I would be over him, but it simply wasn't the case. I've loved him longer than we've been separated, and maybe that's my problem, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm still very much angry with him for what he did. Clark had hoped by now I would find someone else to take his place, but with me holding onto love and anger from the past, it was evident I wouldn't move on for a while.

I was sitting on the porch, enjoying the nice morning air, and reading a book with tea. The birds sang and the sun slowly rose in front of me. And it was in that same distance from the sun I saw a man walking up to the farm house. I had at first thought that maybe it was the mail man, but I could never mistake that silky black hair. It was Damian. My Damian, not the malnourished and meek Damian I had seen prior. His skin was back to it's normal tent, his eyes as well, eyes that expressed kindness, not anger.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw me, and stared slightly wide eyed before saying, "Well, I had come to Kent's home in hopes he would know where you are, but I never expected you to be in the first place I look..."

I rolled my eyes. "Damian, leave. I don't want you here." I slammed my book closed.

"Will you at least listen to what I have to say?" He offered.

"We don't all get what we want." I grabbed my things and began to head inside and fetch Clark, but a hand stopped me, causing me to snap my head around and give the man I love a icy glare. "Look, you lost your chance to come back, alright? And don't you dare try to blame what happened on anyone else but yourself because there's no one else to blame. Your actions made sure of that. It's all on you."

"Raven, please--"

I released my arm from his grasp. "No, you don't have the right to come back to me and pretend everything is okay again!"

"I know everything isn't okay, that's why I'm here! Look, Raven, I changed my ways for you! I love you, alright, I never stopped! My pride didn't let me see that until now, but Raven... I can't take the loneliness anymore..."

I was shocked at first, but soon regained my hostility. "How dare you stand there and tell me you still love me?! Was it not you just a mere two years ago that told me otherwise?!"

Damian winced. "Can we please pretend I never said that? I know it hurt you... I'm sorry for the pain I've caused."

"Sorry doesn't fix everything. Especially everything you've done in the past two years."

"People change, Raven. I'm not who I was before, can't you see that? I really am sorry for what I did." He sighed and grabbed at my face, pushing it to look him in the eyes. "Please just look at me--really look at me."

And I did. His eyes had that same plea for forgiveness they had years ago when this mess first began. He really was sorry, I could feel it. And all he really wanted was for me to see that. I suppose I should grant him his request. After all, I do still love him, too.

I let out a sigh. "Apology accepted. Trust denied..." I looked down for a moment before lifting my eyes back to his again. "Is what you say true? You still love me? I had figured by now you would have moved on with someone else..."

Damian chuckled. "Do I look like I've moved on? Though I will admit I tried to move on, but nobody is you. And I came to the realization that I simply can't move on, and I don't want to. Because... I think I'm in love with you, and that feeling terrifies me. Because I wanna fall in love with you and nobody else, but you still have your hostility against me. Truth be told, I'm willing to stay with you until the end, but it's you who keeps telling me to stay away..."

"Because it was you who broke your promise... be honest with me: if I hadn't found out on my own, were you ever going to tell me?"

He pondered the question for a moment before shaking his head. "No, because I was set on guarding myself. I didn't want you to see who I had become... and quite possibly who I still am..." he lowered his eyes to the ground. "I've changed a lot in two years, but I still question whether it was enough to make a full recovery. I want to fully move forward, but how can I if I don't know which way I'm facing? And even if I did, what if I'm in too many pieces now to even fix myself?"

It was then I saw how much he had changed. This was the first time ever that Damian had spoken to me of his emotions and baggage. He was emotionally available to me for the first time since I had known him, and I couldn't help but feel sympathetic to his words.

I cupped my hands over his face, forcing him to look at me. "Hey, I know you're hurting... but you're not alone anymore, okay?"

Soon I began to feel something wet and warm run between the pad of my thumb. My eyes widened as Damian's flooded with tears that didn't seem to want to cease any time soon. Without a moments hesitation, I pulled his head to my shoulder, allowed his arms to wrap around me, and allowed him to cry.

We stayed like that for about five minutes before Damian lifted his head and sniffled a small 'my apologies'.

"It's not a bad thing to cry, Damian," I assured him, "I personally think it makes a person stronger."

Damian smiled slightly. "So... you know you can trust me now, right?"

I returned the smile. "I think I'm starting to see that now, yes..."

"Then allow me to ask this of you, Raven: can we pretend we never broke apart?" He gave me a lazy smile and pleading eyes.

I giggled slightly. "Well, I don't recall a fight or a reason, so I have to ask you: we broke up?" I replied playfully, holding back a laugh. "Oh course we can. Even though sometimes I wish I I didn't, I love you, Damian Wayne. And I'm happy you're willing to let me in now."

He grinned, and looked around for a moment. "I feel as though there are more words to be said in moments like this, but I don't know of them. So allow my actions to speak for me."

And with that, he leaned down, lifting my chin to his and planted a much needed, and much longed for kiss on my lips.

_____________________________________

I hope it was to your liking!🥺

[remywrites5]

Can you write something about harry and sirius godfather relationship

Remus had just finished putting Teddy down for the night when he went into his study and booted up his laptop. He clicked on Youtube and went to his favorite channel “Rebel without a Sprog.” A video had been uploaded earlier that day and Remus was anxious to watch it.

           He clicked on it and sat back as it began to play. He turned the volume down a bit so it wouldn’t disturb Teddy who was sleeping down the hall. It seemed to be a Q&A video. Sirius, the person who ran the channel, came into view sitting in a large comfy looking chair. Their long dark hair had been braided to the side and they were wearing an off the shoulder grey oversized t-shirt and leggings. Their knee was up towards their chest, hugging it with a playful smile on their lips.

           “Hi everyone!” Sirius said, giving a little wave. “It’s been awhile since we’ve done a Q and A video and some of you have been asking for one. Some of these might be repeats of other Q and A videos because I’m too lazy to go back and see what has already been asked.”

           Sirius grabbed their phone and brought it up, resting it on their knee so they could read it. “The first question is what does Harry call me. I know being genderfluid might make the mum or dad moniker kind of tricky, but seeing as I’m not his mum or dad he just calls me Padfoot or Pads. It was a nickname James came up with when we were together at school and it just kind of stuck. I find that’s easier for me because I’m not looking to replace his parents so I don’t think mum or dad would ever truly feel like they fit me all that well.”

           Sirius continued on – answering some questions about parenting. Remus tried to pay attention but he was distracted by Sirius and watching them as they talked. They had on some sort of lipstick that made their lips really shiny and Remus found he couldn’t look away. He would end up re-watching the video anyway like he did with all of Sirius’ videos.

           He stopped being distracted when a question came up about Sirus’ love life. “Oh no, I hate this question but I’m going to answer it anyway. How do you balance raising a child on your own and having a love life?” Sirius exhaled loudly and stared at the camera for a moment. “So here’s the thing about this question, at least when it comes to me. Harry comes first – full stop. If it’s a choice between raising Harry right or finding love for myself, the choice is easy. It’s always going to be Harry. When James and Lily died they entrusted their son to me and that is not a task I take lightly. So right now I’m not dating. It’s difficult enough to find someone who is fine with me as I am without throwing in the fact that I’ve got a kid. Now if some gorgeous stranger wanted to show up and sweep me off my feet I’m not going to protest that. But if Harry doesn’t like whom I date then I wouldn’t date them because he’s my priority. I would never put my happiness over his. It just wouldn’t happen. Maybe I’m not the right person to ask this question to because as of right now I don’t balance it and I don’t date.”

           Remus smiled to himself and played with one of his curls. No matter what kind of day he was having, watching Sirius’ videos always made him feel better. It hadn’t been easy going for the last year. Remus’ best friend Tonks was Aro and while she didn’t want a relationship, she had decided she wanted a child. She and Remus had sat down and had a good long discussion about it.

           They decided they would do in vitro but Tonks wanted him to have shared custody of the child. Remus had agreed because he couldn’t say no to her, but he wasn’t even sure he wanted children. He had thought he was doing her a favor but he could see how the task of becoming a single mum was kind of daunting.

           Since being born, Teddy would spend Wednesday through Saturday afternoon with Remus and then Saturday evening to Tuesday with Tonks. It was a good system so far but Remus realized quickly how wholly unprepared he was to be a father. One night Teddy had been screaming his head off and Remus had no idea why. He had eventually broken down into tears and neither of them had stopped until Teddy finally passed out from exhaustion of crying.

           It was that night that Remus found Sirius’ videos, looking for any guidance on what the fuck he was doing with his son. While most of Sirius’ videos were on the silly side, they also had a lot of good information. And sometimes all Remus needed was something that made him smile.

           One of his favorite videos was titled “How to tire out your Sprog!” and it began with Sirius and Harry yelling “Dance party!” What proceeded was three minutes of Sirius and Harry jumping around their living room and dancing like lunatics to The Ramones “I Wanna Be Sedated.” When the song ended, Harry collapsed on the sofa and Sirius got close to the camera. “Something like that,” they said with a wink before turning the camera off.

           Remus had probably watched it a good thirty or forty times because it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen.

           He clicked on the description of the Q&A video and saw that there was an email address along with all of Sirius’ social media handles. Before he could think better of it, he pulled up his email and copied the one from the video.

           Hello,

           I just wanted to reach out and let you know how much your videos mean to me. I bet you get this all the time from your adoring fans, but I’m a new single father, so finding your videos has been a godsend. I was a mess and really struggling but even if your videos didn’t apply to my situation (because my son is only a year old instead of four like Harry) your videos always make me smile. I don’t have any friends that are parents, except for my son’s mum, so watching your vlogs makes me feel a little less alone.

           I guess this was all just a longwinded way of saying thank you.

           So thank you,

           Remus Lupin

Against his better judgment, he pressed send. Unable to sit there any longer because of his nerves, he shut his laptop and headed off to bed to get some sleep while he could.

                                                           ***

           It was three days later and Remus had mostly forgotten about his email sent to Sirius. He didn’t regret sending it but he was a little embarrassed about gushing his feelings to a complete stranger on the internet. Although he doubted that was something Sirius even checked themselves. They probably had a team of people to do stuff like that for them.

           So when Remus got a response from Sirius’ email account, he assumed it would be some generic “thanks for being a fan” type of email. Instead when he opened it up he found a brief message but one still surprising.

           Remus,

           Harry and I will be at the London Zoo on Saturday if you and your son wanted to join us. We’ll meet you outside at noon if you’re keen. I hope you show up!

           Sirius Black

           Remus reread the email a good twenty times and then walked away from his laptop, rebooted it and checked again just to be sure. If he had lived with someone who could actually read he would make them read it just to be sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

           He was definitely going to go to the zoo even if he was imagining that Sirius had emailed him. At the very least it would be a fun day at the zoo with his son. And there was always a chance that Remus’ crush might be there looking to spend time with him.

                                                                       ***

           Remus held Teddy against his hip as he made his way from the car park at the zoo. As he walked towards the front entrance he could see that familiar head of long dark hair, pulled up into a messy bun, and he felt his heartbeat speed up. He couldn’t believe that they were really here, holding little Harry’s hand. They had on a crop top with a leather jacket and leggings. They made Remus feel wholly underdressed in his jeans and jumper.

           Remus carefully approached and gave a small wave. “Hi, I’m Remus,” he introduced himself nervously. “And this is Teddy.”

           “Hi Teddy!” Harry said, waving excitedly.

           Sirius grinned at him. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you!” they said enthusiastically. “I was a little worried you wouldn’t show. I know my invitation was a little unconventional.”

           “No, it was wonderful,” Remus said, adjusting Teddy who has slid slightly down his hip. “I was a little surprised you responded to me.”

           Sirius’ smile widened. “Well your email was just so nice and sweet I couldn’t help it. Besides, it sounded like you could use some company, and well I don’t have too many people to hang out with besides Haz, so I figured we could both benefit. “

           Remus ducked his head and felt himself blush slightly. “Did I come off that pathetic in my email?”

           Sirius barked out a laugh. “Not at all,” they said, reaching out with their free hand and giving Remus’ arm a squeeze. “If you’re pathetic then I’m pathetic too.”

           “Just a couple of people with no friends,” Remus said, chuckling softly and trying not to freak out that Sirius had just touched him.

            “Can we go in, Pads?” Harry asked, tugging on Sirius’ jacket.

           “Of course Sprog!” Sirius said, gesturing towards the door. “Lead the way!”

           Teddy was squirming in Remus’ arms so he let his son down. Teddy immediately went over to Harry, curious about the older boy. Harry took Teddy’s hand and they began to walk together inside.

           “Are you going to hold my hand?” Sirius asked, holding their hand out and wiggling their fingers playfully.

           Remus felt his face get hot as he took Sirius’ hand. Sirius beamed at him approvingly and they went inside the zoo. Remus kept a close eye on Teddy as the zoo was fairly crowded. Harry was so good with Teddy, making sure not to walk too fast so Teddy could keep up. Teddy was a quiet kid and he watched Harry in fascination while Harry pointed things out to him.

           “You know, I was hoping you’d be cute,” Sirius said, giving Remus’ hand a squeeze.

           “Oh?” Remus inquired, raising an eyebrow at him. “Is that what I am?”

           “Extremely,” Sirius said, shooting Remus a wink.

           “Do you always say things like that?” Remus asked, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

           Sirius shrugged. “Only if you like it,” they said, gently pressing against Remus for a moment. “If you don’t then I’ll stop.”

           “I like it,” Remus confessed, releasing Sirius’ hand in favor of putting his arm around their bare waist and holding onto them. “And I’m a little awed that I’m here with you right now.”

           Sirius beamed at Remus, their smile dazzling just like the rest of them. They slid their hand into the back pocket of Remus’ jeans as they pressed close to each other. They chatted quietly while keeping an eye on their kids. Remus told Sirius about Tonks and how it had resulted in Teddy. Sirius told Remus about James and Lily while getting a little sad when he spoke about the car crash that had taken them. For a fun trip to the zoo it seemed like some heavy topics of discussion. Remus felt comfortable around Sirius, which was surprising for how much he fancied them, but there was something about Sirius that put him at ease. Before Remus knew it they had looped around the zoo, making sure to see pretty much everything. Sirius had their phone out and documented a fair bit of their outing, after asking Remus if it was okay.

           By the end Teddy was tired of walking so Remus picked him up again, sad to be separated from Sirius. They stopped in the gift shop to get stuffed animals for the kids, an owl for Harry and a sloth for Teddy. While the kids picked out the animals they wanted, Sirius and Remus exchanged numbers. Remus wasn’t sure if it was to set up playdates for the kids of playdates for them. He hoped it at least was both. They were heading towards the exit and Remus wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye.

           Harry tugged on Remus’ jumper. “Remus, can you and Teddy come back to our house for ice cream?”

           Sirius snorted and put their hands on their hips. “And who said you’re getting ice cream, sprog?”

           Harry looked a bit sheepish. “Can they, Pads?”

           “It’s okay with me.”

           “You don’t have to do that,” Remus said quickly, not wanting to be an imposition no matter how badly he wanted to spend more time with Sirius.

           “Ice cream!” Teddy said, kicking his feet excitedly.

           “Well I guess that’s settled then,” Sirius said, smirking triumphantly. They grabbed their car keys out of their pocket. “I’ll text you the address. Race to our house!”

           “Yeah!” Harry shouted, running with Sirius towards their car.

           “Run daddy!’ Teddy yelled, tugging on Remus’ collar.

           Remus shook his head and walked at a brisk pace to the car. He strapped Teddy into his seat and felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He copied the address and put it into his GPS, knowing that there was no way they were going to beat Sirius and Harry there.

           As predicted, when they pulled up, Sirius’ car was already in the driveway. Sirius and Harry were just getting out and Harry was jumping up and down excitedly and waving to them as they pulled in behind Sirius’ car.

           The moment he released Teddy from his car seat, Teddy was off like a shot, chasing after Harry and following him inside. Remus put his hands in his pockets and walked up the driveway to join Sirius by their car.

           Sirius reached out and put a hand on Remus’ chest. “Before we go in, I’d really like to kiss you.”

           Remus ducked his head and smiled. “Why would you want that?”

           Sirius fisted their hand on Remus’ jumper and tugged him forward. “It’s difficult for me to find someone that I actually want to date. Either my gender is a problem or Harry is a problem. But we’ve been together for hours already and you haven’t misgendered me once and you don’t seem to mind the idea of Harry. You’re cute and sweet and you’re a good father. Why wouldn’t I want to kiss you?”

           Remus reached out and held Sirius by the hips. “I think you’re wonderful and Harry is wonderful. And if we want to kiss we better do it soon before our kids destroy your house.”

           Sirius laughed softly and they both leaned towards each other, their lips meeting in a brief, sweet kiss. Remus pulled back before it went too far and Sirius chased his lips. Remus gave them another quick kiss for a promise of more before sliding his arm around their waist and they walked inside together.

                                                           ***

           Remus got home from work and booted up his laptop. Teddy was with Tonks and it was Sirius’ posting day. Remus brought up his channel and pressed play on the video.

           “Hi everyone! So in my last video someone asked me about dating with a kid and while I wasn’t lying in that video, my answer has changed. I think the key to finding the right person is looking for someone that can respect you and your relationship with your child. I feel like I’ve found that person. I don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s all very new, but I felt like it was important that I amend what I’d said. Now here’s the four of us, Harry and I, my man and his son at the zoo. Warning that it is cute as hell. Enjoy!”

           Remus watched the video of them all together and it made him feel warm and happy all over to see the four of them together. Cute little clips of Harry and Teddy admiring the animals, pressing their little faces against the bars or glass. After ice cream, Harry and Teddy had both passed out from their long, exciting day. It had given Sirius and Remus a chance to snog, talk and decide what they wanted from each other. He clicked on the description and saw Sirius had mentioned him in it. As soon as he read it his face broke out into the widest smile.

           His name is Remus, he’s gorgeous and he’s mine.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Maou-jou 9 - 12 (FINAL) | Idolish7 s2 10 - 15 (FINAL) | SLS 2

I’ve been holding off new seasonals because of other things, but after I post this I’ll have enough time to get around to them. That’s why I can’t guarantee winter 2021 seasonal tags on this post...maybe the next one will have them...

Maou-jou 9

…it seems shopping channels even are the same in the demon world.

Now even the demons have quests! (The frame is different to the princess’s, though.)

Oh! The quest failed.

Neo Alraune: in flower language, “the 2nd coming of happiness”. The worry from a little while ago was, “I’m worried about my brother.” The worry from recently: “I didn’t think about being happy that the princess didn’t kill my brother.”

The penguin demons are pretty cute!

Don’t you know how parents forbid children from sleeping until they finish all their homework? Must be something like that.

Yoku ganbarimashita! – Syalis worked hard!

LOL, mental age: 3. Poseidon likes cute things…I can’t read a lot of this…the hardsubs cover the JPN text.

They…both succeeded! (…LOL?)

Maou-jou 10

Owarinocity = Endopolis. It’s a good equivalent, if I do say so myself.

…oh yeah. What happened to Alraune? Update: There she is!

Also, that blonde guy in the infomercials doesn’t look too bad…*makes chef’s kiss gesture with one hand* Nice.

I wonder, was Twilight once human…?

LOL, there’s a goat symbol on the cleric’s pyjamas. Also “first time”, LOL.

I think they were playing shiritori at one point.

Hanamaru saikou yoku dekimashita!

Maou-jou 11

…How does one “sleep cheerfully”, anyway?

I think I saw Twilight drop something…some kind of paper…

Aw, Twilight blushing is kinda cute!

LOL, 70s shoujo style. Also, “It cannot be!”

Whoa, she cancelled it?!

I read up on this series on TV Tropes…and apparently the Demon King captured the Princess in her sleep.

Kagemusha? Like a ninja or something?

Apparently the Demon Cleric is much older than he looks.

Ooh! Hypnos is back!

A-whatsit really is abysmal levels of stupid!!! (LOL)

Maou-jou 12 (FINAL)

Who’s that one tiny guy occupying one of the Ten Kings’ seats?

*watching after Christmas, about a week after the anime finished* This is not seasonally appropriate!

…*thinks for a second, then spits* That’s the 2nd Nemu in the fall 2020 season!!!

Ooh, the head paladin doesn’t look that bad, either.

“…is it good to be…”

“…has seized the princess!”

“…that demon king is rather cute.” – See? Someone agrees with me.

Anyways, that was a fun series. See you soon!

Idolish7 s2 10

…Back at it after so long…(I can’t help it though – Crunchyroll, per month, is about double the local Funimation sublicensor’s fees, and for much less content that’s worth my money to boot!)

I’ve always thought Momo was like Sasara (HypMic), so seeing him anguished hurts me in the kokoro too…

I know Banri was involved with Re:vale somehow…this must be it.

…Male idols are also popular among men? Is this why there are 8 (!!!) idol anime in winter 2021 alone…? (Also, that’s why HypMic became popular? Multidemographic appeal crossed over with obvious merchandising opportunities?)

It’s kind of scary how Momo stepped the formality towards Yuki like that (to -san).

I guess in his heart Momo still reveres Yuki, some way or another.

The rakugo curtain really sold the moment that they (current Re:vale) were acting like an old married couple.

Yay! Silver Sky is such a cool song! Of course I recognised the intro when it came on.

…I see. The elder Kujo is entrusting his dream to Tenn, so that’s why he banned Aya from seeing Tamaki. However, it’s hard to know what to feel when Aya speaks in the vaguest terms possible.

I think that was a special ending for only this episode. I don’t know what its name is, but I guess I might recognise it on Spotify one day.

Idolish7 s2 11

LOL, Nagi’s reaction.

Considering the ‘rona is getting worse outside our very windows as we speak (type?), I think it’s correct to be concerned about your future right now.

Looking at these narrow streets reminds me of going to eat hotpot at the end of my Japan trip…only Japanese streets look like that, I think. Hong Kong’s streets are more crowded than that and America likes their suburbia.

Of course, when you say hajimemashite (nice to meet you), someone’s gotta say it back, hence the reply.

Considering there are people all over the world watching the Idolish7 anime, I would say you are telling the world about I7, Riku.

Oh! Restart Pointer! There was an MV for that one…I think it was around the time Idolish7’s MVs started getting better.

So this is the context around the new outfits! Cool!

There have been way too many puns about “idol” being…y’know, “ai (love) doll” and stuff like that…

I have one Twitter person who I follow (DejiNyucu, part of the creative team for Autumn’s Journey) because I don’t get much I7 content and they keep mentioning this “Haruki” person…and suddenly a “Haruki the Betrayer” showed up in the graffiti…they might be the same person, I think. Not Deji, but Haruki. Update: Sakura Haruki, perhaps…?

Sougo’s such a bad liar…

Sometimes, the best way to deal with things is to be direct…(I’m not very good at that, I naturally talk in a very roundabout sort of way.)

Sougo with long hair like Yuki would be really pretty… (<- has an obvious thing for guys with long hair)

Idolish7 s2 12

Nagi’s stupid accent is generally what he’s best remembered for (for me), so seeing him speak normally, and do a press conference on top of that, is…impressive.

A kabedon on top of all this! Whoa!

Shibuya 109 parody…? (I’ve seen that once or twice – parodying that means people know their stuff about Shibuya.)

I think the “it’s overflowing!” is referring to the hype in the “room”.

…this dejected Momo is worrying…(well, he is worrying and I am worrying about him.)

Oh, I see. The person responsible typed the letter so that they couldn’t be traced back. Kind of like those old movies where the culprit would cut letters out of newspapers to make threat mail, but…with even less traces than that, because cutting letters out leaves evidence.

…wow, it took a while for this ep. to have an intro…

…LOL, I just spotted Kenjiro Tsuda cited as the “fake Zero”, meaning the real one might never show up this season.

There’s something really stupid and infectious about these managers’ enthusiasm for drinking energy drinks. It puts a goofy smile on my face.

Is Musubi Tsumugi’s mother…? Update: Yes, she is.

…Wait, so the Chiba Shizuo guy is actually important?!

Idolish7 s2 13

Whenever someone says “by the way”, it means they’re changing the subject. I hate to state to obvious, but Sougo is clearly deflecting the topic of conversation from being about him.

I wonder if this guy (Haw9) is the actual Zero graffiti vandal…?

Hmph, I didn’t realise Tenn doesn’t refer to Kujo-san as his father, but…like that (“Kujo-san”) instead.

Oh hey! These are shots from Vibrato!

Most dramas can be solved with the power of Good Communication. That includes this one.

I feel like “he has a dark side” describes both Tenn and Kujo-san.

“Everyone, remember to wash your hands and gargle thoroughly.” – This is always a good thing to remember in the time of ‘rona. Reminds me of Jakurai’s line in ARB (<- this game started just after the ‘rona came down).

What did Sougo go to uni for (what specialisation)?

Idolish7 s2 14

I just realised Banri calls Momo -kun. Hmm…

Denki = electricity, LOL.

I feel like Tenn is basically Ramuda, give or take actual pink hair…guys in musical groups with pre-existing angst that they become the “centre” of. The fact Fling Posse have Saito Soma and so do Trigger strengthens the connection.

I would watch the heck out of a musical like that! Make it come true, Idolish7! (Also, today is I7 day! I’m not much of an I7 fan outside the anime, but…that’s cool!)

That shot of them jumping! I remember seeing it on the official site before!

Idolish7 s2 15 (FINAL)

There you go! I was wondering where Banri’s injury was – that was the only bit that didn’t add up for him to be Yuki’s old partner.

Hmm…Momo is 4 years younger than Yuki but 2 years younger than Banri…

This episode has a real concert vibe to it, to the point where I got startled by how loud the yell was at one point. (Even if it is mostly stills.)

LOL, lookit Okazaki!

Apparently, if you’re a hako oshi, you like all the members of a group. Someone with a green light and a pink light likes both members of Re:vale.

LOL, Usagi for Asahi beer.

…I forgot Nagi is 19.

…Ooh, I think that’s the kid from ZOOL. No wonder they needed a season 3!

That’s all. See you next time!

SLS 2

“fine and upstanding person” – That’s…hard to believe, Hayato.

I wonder how many bois Toboso designed for SLS…?

…The episode title is actually “Blank”. Not “Break”.

One of the guys’ shirts says moteki on it. That’s a period in one’s life where one enjoys more romantic attention than usual, literally “popularity season”.

The subs missed an I, so initially I knew Kiriyama’s name as “Kiryama”.

There are meant to be 2 wings, right…?

“He who controls information controls everything, right?” – For once, I’m surprised Hayato is right (and not just in that smug way of his).

“…I’m being treated like a manager.” – But Hayato is a manager! (In a sense.)

The plait guy jumps to nicknames really fast…also, why do I get the feeling Maeshima will lose the key?

I hate to say this Maeshima, but I side with your childhood friend (Kiriyama) here. As much as the anime wants me to back you, I’m watching for everyone else at this point.

That blocky building looks pretty cool. I think Zel (Archi-Anime) would like it.

Sasugai’s setup looks pretty cool, including his chair.

…hmm, Maeshima’s like me in a sense. I learn best by copying others, but memory is my best asset. If I don’t regularly train the fundamentals, I suck at everything. That said, I don’t have an eidetic memory. Also, I didn’t quite figure out Ken = Ken(sei Maeshima) until I watched long enough to connect the dots.

LOL, Derry’s. (<- reminded of a word for “butt” <- derriere)

Well, the guy’s (Souta…?) shirt does say moteki…

Kiriyama kinda looks like Jyuto (HypMic), come to think of it…Right down to his angry streak (although Jyuto has a reputation to keep as a “cool dude”, while Kiriyama is more of a Manza (Boueibu HK) and he’s more angry than he looks).

…This ED is nothing special.

…Hmm? Is that a small Terauchi and Maeshima…?

I think I’m sold for now, but I’m rooting for the other team, not Maeshima’s…not yet, anyways.

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 14: Truthful liar (Part 4)

Warnings: mentions of drug addiction

Author notes: quite a long part... I have to admit, I did not pay attention to its length ^^” I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

It was impossible for us to question the victim. As soon as he had set a foot in the nearest hospital, he had collapsed and had been immediately taken care of by the nurses. And he had not yet woken up… The white corridors smelled like medicine,but it was not unpleasant. Perhaps it was because I was used to the infirmary… My fingers clutched around my box of pills. I could not show a single health care professional that I was an addict, unless I wanted to be brought to the psychiatric unit… However, that stressful situation did not help with my withdrawal, and I was starting to grow uncomfortable. I sighed, and covered my hand to hide the fact it was trembling. Soon enough, Dazai reached me. He was coming back from the doctor's office, and his serious face did not reassure me the least.

"His condition is bad, isn't it…?" I frowned.

"Yep. He isn't going to wake up anytime soon." He stood next to me "We should find another lead."

"... I'm tired, already…" I groaned.

"Don't, the case has just started."

He took my trembling hand into his, and pulled me up suddenly. Then, he brought me towards his chest and used his taller body to hide me from anyone's eyes. I looked up at him, ready to question him, but he was quicker and grabbed the box in my pocket.

"Take that opportunity. Hurry."

"But people —"

"Who cares about what people believe? No one knows us here, anyway…"

He had rarely been that firm since my entrance in the Armed Detective Agency. Quietly, I nodded, before shoving up to three pills on my mouth and swallowing. It was burdensome to be an addict… I was glad that this pitiful life would stop soon. Soon… I closed my eyes a moment, before glancing up at him. He had not budged and, from an outsider's point of view, that scene must have looked like a hug… But to me, who had just drugged myself, it was just a convenient hideout… Gently, I cracked a smile and put a hand on his chest to push him away. Slightly…

"It's alright, now… We can go…"

"Really? Good~" He regained his usual playful smile.

"Should we head to the police station?" I suggested.

"That's not a bad idea." He pulled away from me.

"... Your hand…"

"Ah. My bad."

He had casually left it on my shoulder.

"Dazai… I'm fine, really. Besides, you've seen me take morphine countless times, already." I assured him.

"I have, yet that doesn't mean I am used to it. Every single time…"

"It's almost over. Don't worry… I'll never end up in such a state again…"

"Did you read my mind? That's surprising…~"

"I couldn't possibly… Not that I wouldn't want to…" I looked away.

"Mine will remain a mystery for you~"

"If I can't use my ability to understand it, I'll just strive to know you better…" I muttered.

"... You're right…"

I looked at him softly, and tugged on his sleeve to get him moving.

"We have some work to do. The case won't solve itself."

He chuckled, and we both headed out of the hospital. In front of our colleagues in the Agency, Dazai always behaved strangely, constantly acting like a buffoon, making a joke of himself. I had secretly resented him for putting on such a mask, and it hurt even more to know that everything was a lie. However, at the moment, there were only the two of us, and there was no need for him to keep playing the tragic story of the sad clown who was never allowed a single tear. In front of me, weakness was allowed, and I hoped he was aware that I would never judge him nor take advantage of him… Somehow, I felt special. I was the only one alive who got to see the sadness hidden beneath his mask… That in itself was exceptional enough, coming from Dazai, and it brought me back to our days in the Port Mafia. Thinking about it, he had been less secretive than he was these days, more willing to show his emotions, perhaps… I wondered if that was because of his mistake, because he felt as though he owed me, because he had hurt me… I was most certainly putting too much thought into that, anyway.

The policemen we met told us that they had never assigned any guards for Suda Hiroshi — that was the name of our client. Immediately, they deployed troops to arrest the imposters, but when we arrived, they had already disappeared.

"That's a fishy story…"

The detective in charge of the case put his cigarette out in the ashtray, and sighed.

"We were aware of the many assassination attempts on Suda-san's life, but we had received words that he was already guarded… That's why we never made a move…"

"What do you know of his research?" I questioned him.

"Wasn't it something about oil…? I have to admit that, as a proud citizen of Sapporo, I wasn't too pleased to hear about it…"

"So false information was spread about him… Why would anyone want him to be hated, though…?" I thought out loud.

"Is there anyone who would benefit from Suda-san's fall?" Dazai asked.

"Not that I know of… The only prominent family around here is the Ogawa family. However, they've come here around twenty years ago to retire. I heard their granddaughter lives with them, too." He told us.

"So, they aren't involved in business anymore…"

"No, not at all…! The granddaughter goes to school with my own children. She's well-behaved and polite, really, a kind girl…! They won't create any troubles."

We exited the police station, without much more information. At the very least, I knew that my grandparents were not involved in the case, which relieved me, in a way. I would not have to come into Ruriko-chan's life to destroy it once again… On the other hand, I had no idea about the motive of the criminal. Why would they sequester the man and let him die a slow, painful death, while running his reputation in Hokkaido? If there was nothing worth Suda-san's downfall, then it was surely…

"A passionate crime. A revenge." Dazai completed my thoughts "That's the only thing I can think of."

"I agree with you. It's the only option left, anyway. I'll call the Fox to get his background checked."

"Such a troublesome case… It doesn't help that the victim is a friend of your friend… Will you tell him?"

"Tell him what? That his friend is wounded, in a hospital between life and death…?"

"Wouldn't you want to know, though? If I was in this state, wouldn't you want to be aware?"

"... You have a point…" I conceded "I'll tell him…"

The call was short. My informer was upset and regretted taking so long to inform me about the situation. Although he had not been in contact with Suda-san for years, he was still his friend, and, knowing how he cared about the people close to him, I could only imagine how terrible it felt for him to know the researcher was hurt. He promised to work on the case, but I could perceive how disheartened he sounded. I did not insist and simply hung up. It was not my fault, yet I felt guilty; the Fox had entrusted me with his friend's life, but I had not managed to save him in time.

"Let's go back to the inn." Dazai suggested, slowly guiding me towards a car.

"Mmh… I want to rest…" I muttered, shoving the phone in my pocket "I don't want to hear about that case anymore…"

"You know we'll be back on it tomorrow."

"... I want to quit…"

"Don't be nonsensical, you're simply tired. A long bath in the onsen will make you feel better."

"Maybe you're right… I hate personal cases. Being emotionally involved doesn't go well with me… I should have asked Kunikida to take care of it." I regretted my choice.

"But the Fox made that request to you, his friend. You couldn't have refused either way."

"So, I was trapped from the beginning… Ah… That's the last time I go to Hokkaido."

"So it isn't entirely about the case." He noted.

I stayed quiet, unable to answer. I had not told him about my dream, after… Would he understand? Would he brush it off and call it "weird"? Would he laugh at me…?

"I'm bothered… By my sister…" I murmured "I'm torn between the wish to see her and my reason telling me that it would destroy her even more…"

"I see…"

As I was wondering if that would be all and if he truly did not care about my issues, he leaned towards the driver and changed our route.

"Where are we going?" I frowned.

"It's a surprise~ Do you have your sunglasses?"

"... Sure…?" I took them from my handbag "Why?"

"Wear them when we arrive~"

I did not question him, used to his strange yet meaningful behaviour from time to time, and obeyed him. Although the sun was playing hide-and-seek behind the clouds, I hid my eyes behind the darker glasses and followed him out of the vehicle. After walking a few meters, we arrived in front of a school, and I immediately understood which trick he had played on me. I grabbed his arm, rather brutally.

"Dazai…! You know… You know I can't…!" I protested "Let's leave this instant…!"

"No." He easily removed my grip from him "You want to see her, don't you? Then, at least, look from afar and check for yourself that she's alright."

"... Isn't that stalking her…?"

"Was gathering information on her via the Fox more legal?" He retorted.

As though I were scared they would fall, I readjusted the sunglasses on my nose, and leaned my back on a wall, waiting for the bell to ring and for Ruriko-chan to come out. Would she have friends? Most certainly… How many? I wished for her to have a lot of them… Would she see me? But she would surely mistake me for a stranger… She would not mind my presence too much, since she would not know I was her sister… In fact, I was terrified to meet her, and feel her look full of disgust on me… I was afraid she would scream "murderer" in the street and attract the police… Yes… I was scared that she would destroy my own life, the normality I had gained through so many hardships. In the end, it was the selfish side of myself which was frightened by Ruriko-chan. Unconsciously, my hand brushed against Dazai's, hoping desperately that his ability could cancel my feelings as well, where I knew it was simply impossible. Even so… It gave me the courage I lacked to face my precious sister.

The bell rang — an unfamiliar melody I was hearing for the first time, since had never attended school — and it did not take long before a flow of students came out of the building to head towards the gate. However, I did not see Ruriko-chan. I waited, and waited. My friend did not leave my side, despite the minutes passing and the sun slowly going down behind the buildings. I was disappointed. After bracing myself so hardly, all of my efforts had been in vain… I did not feel ready to experience such an unpleasant time ever again.

"Some clubs end later." Dazai spoke, out of the blue "Let's wait a bit more…"

"Even so, if she comes out alone… She'll be more likely to see me…"

"But will she recognise you? To be honest, you've changed…"

"How? Except for my clothes, I'm still Ogawa Yōko. If it weren't for my sunglasses, do you think these eyes of mine will go unnoticed? Sometimes, I hate them…" I crossed my arms.

"You can be so childish, sometimes~" He teased, wrapping an arm around my shoulders "These eyes are a part of you, as recognisable as they are, and I, for one, like them."

"Y-You do…?" I stuttered, turning towards him "I… Well… Thank you…? I suppose…"

Many people had already complimented my mother's eyes, but never had they paid attention to mine. The fact that it was Dazai, above anything else… It was… Surprising, to say the least… And oddly pleasant. It was impossible for me to suppress the smile from my face after his unexpected words, and even the nervousness I had felt upon waiting for my sister had faded away. Instead, it had been replaced by a strange mixture of warmth and contentment. Was receiving kind words always this agreeable…?

"There she is." My friend broke my train of thoughts.

Time seemed to stop as my eyes fell on the young girl who was Ruriko-chan. Unmistakably, it was her. The uniform of her high school seemed to fit her perfectly, the pleated skirt gently flowed around her legs as she walked, and her face had gotten thinner, more delicate… She had grown into a fine lady, although she was not yet an adult. And her clear blue eyes… They did not have the lavender colour of our mother's, but their blue, alike precious lapis lazuli, shone even brighter under the sunlight. My heart panged painfully in my chest as I refrained myself from running towards her. I could not…

"So that's her… She's cute~"

I could not repress a glare.

"Don't you dare even get close to her." I warned him.

"I'm not into younger girls, don't worry~" He laughed at me.

"Whatever…" I mumbled.

"She does resemble you, though…" He remarked.

"... Does she…? Are you blind…? Look at her gentle, pale face…! She is just like a doll…! And her long, jet black hair… Mmh… She's so beautiful, you really should get a pair of glasses…"

"Oh, really…~?" He smirked at me "I don't think so… But anyway, since she looks so good, I'll just have a word of two with her~"

"Dazai…! I forbid you…!" I ran after him "Come back here…! You're doing this on purpose…!"

However, he was much faster than I was, and he quickly reached Ruriko-chan in front of the gate. There, he put on his brightest and most seductive smile, and bowed slightly in front of her.

"Hello miss~ I saw you from afar and couldn't resist greeting you, since you're such a beauty~"

Her face expressed disgust, and she took a step back.

"I'll report you, sir…" She threatened.

"I apologise on behalf of my coworker…!" I moved in between them "Don't mind him, he's always like that, but he doesn't mean any harm…"

"I see… Well, I suppose I'll let you go, then."

My sister looked me up and down.

"It's strange… I'm positive I never saw you around here, yet you seem familiar, somehow…"

"Is… Is that so…?" I cleared my throat "We're detectives from Yokohama. We're here on a case. This is Dazai Osamu, and I am Fuyuno Kasumi."

"Oh… You're here for Suda-san…? The man whose life is constantly threatened?" She realised.

How smart she was… Was she truly my sister?

"Indeed… We hope to solve it soon."

I noticed the case she was holding.

"You play an instrument?" I asked to change the subject.

"I do." She smiled "Since you're a detective, why don't you try guessing it?"

"Sure… May I hold it?"

She handed me the case, and I took a quick look at it. Then, within a few seconds, I had my answer.

"The violin." I stated confidently.

"That wasn't too hard, was it? That's the most common one after all." She shrugged.

"It could have been a trumpet. But I mainly looked at your hands, and most particularly your fingers. They are a violinist's." I grinned.

"... I see…"

"Is there a problem?" I inquired.

"No, just… For a moment… Your smile… There is someone whose smile I've never seen… I was just wondering… If it would look the same… But that's impossible, you're not her… And… She's possibly already dead…" Her face darkened.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to remind you of that person…"

"It's not your fault. She was very sick… Perhaps it was for the best, after all…"

I clenched my fists. If Ruriko-chan believed I was dead, then perhaps I should let her live thinking that way… Even if it did not seem like she resented me for my deeds.

"You seem to like her a lot." Dazai said softly, taking me aback.

"Yes! She was my precious older sister, after all… Although I once held a grudge against her… No, maybe everything is better this way, after all…" She whispered "Anyway, it was nice to meet you two. Good luck with your case…! I have to go back home, otherwise, my grandparents will be worried."

"Yes, it would be wiser to go back, indeed. Be safe on the way." I waved lightly.

As soon as her back was turned, I sighed slightly. Did she not  hate me for killing our parents…? Did she not want me in jail…? Or gone from this Earth…? Ruriko-chan truly had a gentle heart… She did not resemble me at all, her hands were pure, and produced beautiful music, unlike mine which only provoked screams of agony. We were different, and, despite the fact that I had gotten accustomed to living in a lighter word, it did not change the fact that I was tainted. I should not approach her anymore…

"Ogawa…!"

His sudden call, along with the screeching sound of a car's wheel on the concrete, made me act before my brain could even register what was occurring. I grabbed Ruriko-chan from behind, and pulled her out of the road before the vehicle could hit her. Her musician's hand did not let go of her precious instrument, even as we fell back on the sidewalk, which would have amused me if her life had not been in danger. Unable to help it, I wrapped my arms around her a moment, and kept her close to me, feeling my heart beat even faster at the thought of losing her so cruelly.

"How… How did you know my name…?" Her small and shocked voice reached my ears.

"That…" Dazai clicked his tongue, looking away.

He had made a mistake when calling me… Even so, I was grateful — the fraction of second gained when she stopped, hearing her name, had allowed me to save her.

"You must have misheard." I lied "Can you stand up?"

"Wait, Fuyuno…" My friend prevented me from moving "Your sunglasses…"

They had fallen from my face, and the car had crushed them, adding to my misfortune.

"Shit…" I cursed.

"Are you alright?" My sister turned towards me "I must be heavy…"

I immediately closed my eyes.

"Y-Yes… I… Just… I'm sensitive… To the sun, so… It's hard for me to see without my glasses…" I invented an illness.

She did not say a thing and, since I had deprived myself from my eyes, I could not see her face.

"You know… I'm not a detective, but… If you truly were sick, you would take better care of these glasses… You could have tied them, for example… And you should own a spare…"

She really was too smart… It was my defeat, and I had to face its consequences.

"You're right… I'm not sick… I was just… Hiding."

I opened my eyes, and glanced at the shock in her look, before helping her up. Then, I smiled — or smirked, it seemed like a weird way to lift the corners of my lips up.

"It's been a while, Ruriko-chan…"

"Ah… I see… It was one of your horrible tricks…" Tears fell onto her cheeks "You're the worst… The worst…! Even after everything I told Fuyuno Kasumi, even after losing your only way of hiding, you're still dishonest… Why are you always, always lying…?!"

"Ruriko-chan…"

"Don't touch me…! You're a liar…! I don't… I don't want to see you again…!"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… But… I thought you hated me… So, I… I just… I just wanted to know… How you were doing…"

"If you truly wanted to check on me, you would have come in person, instead of lying, as always… As expected…"

"But you said you didn't hate me —"

"I don't hate you, but I don't trust you either. Go away, now. Don't… Don't try to reach out to me anymore. My sister is dead to me."

I was not able to hold her back and, powerless, stared at her silhouette fading away in the remnants of the sunlight. Being alive, yet dead in another person's heart, felt like the ground had shattered beneath my feet.

"... It was a mistake…" I breathed out "A terrible one…"

"Ogawa, that was my fault… I should have given you more time… Or maybe I shouldn't have insisted in the first place…" Dazai sighed.

"Yes… It is your fault." I cried "Everything… It is your fault… If only I had waited more, I would never have hidden myself, had I been ready…! But you had to butt in and convince me otherwise… Why did I even follow your lead, in the first place…?! This is my business, my sister, yet you interfered again! You always do! And now… And now she… Whereas she didn't hate me…"

"Ogawa…"

"I'm dead to her…! Do you understand…?! I do not exist anymore…!! I stopped living in her mind…! She might as well have killed me, I would have suffered less… That's your fault…" I sobbed, falling to my knees "I've lost my sister… Ruriko-chan…! Ruriko-chan…!"

"... I'm sorry…" He crouched down to face me "I'm sorry that it turned out so badly…"

I reached for his collar, and pulled him towards me to bury my face in his coat, to hide my pitiful tears. Even when he had left, I had not cried this much. Why was this one loss so painful…? Was it because I had expected something…? What was the point of desiring and hoping, then, if these feelings only brought pain by crushing my heart…? What was the point of longing, if the person I wanted to see did not want me by her side…? I should have known and abandoned these useless emotions long ago, I should have learnt from my experience with Dazai, but I was as ignorant as I had been years ago.

"It's alright… Blame me all you want, if it alleviates your pain…" He murmured "I did miscalculate, this time…"

"... I'm sorry…" I sniffed, slowly calming down "I got carried away…"

"I said it's fine."

I looked up at him, but far from a face matching his comforting words, his expression was… Well, he was expressionless. Or perhaps annoyed. I had vexed him.

"There is something I've come to understand, with time…" I pulled away from him "Human feelings… Are kind of unpredictable. You can manipulate them, you can play with them, but at the end of the day, you'll always end up surprised… Besides, you made a mistake because you're not familiar with Ruriko-chan…"

"And what's your point?"

I grabbed his cheeks and forcefully pulled them up to force a smile on his face.

"A genius strategist can make mistakes. And, you're a human too. You have a brain, and emotions, not a chessboard which pieces you move thanks to calculations." I told him.

"I don't have enough ego to be angry about failure." He avoided my eyes "Rather…"

His fingers tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear, and he sighed again.

"Nothing… The night is falling, let's really go back now." He took my hand to help me up.

"Mmh… There is no use crying, anyway… What's done is done, and I can never go back. I'll just have to live without her." I wiped my tears away.

"... But you have me…"

"... Did you say something…?"

A car had passed right while he was talking, and I was afraid to have misheard. He cracked a smile.

"Nothing at all. I'm just excited to try the onsen, that's all~"

"True." I giggled "We do deserve some rest."

[elencelebrindal]

Honest Opinion - Pegasus Seiya (Hades)

I try to drop as few f-bombs as possible in these posts, but my god Seiya makes me angry. I’m (not) sorry. 

Also, since this series has overall longer posts, I’m putting everything under the cut to make it less annoying for the people who aren’t interested. 

Overall score (character, not looks): still bad 1,5/10

Hades Chapter: Sanctuary

Overall score: 2/10

If you’ve read what I wrote for him (according to the classic series) you know Seiya is probably my least favorite character of the whole show.  They make him accomplish way too much, even if he doesn’t deserve it, he steals other characters’ merits, and he’s so much of a cliché protagonist that everything has to revolve around him.  I hate all of this.  And guess what? In Hades, all of this is even worse. From start to finish, Seiya is so annoying every time he appeared on screen I wanted to yeet his fucking attitude out the window. 

I know I’m being particularly harsh on him because I don’t like this character at all, but objectively speaking, he was as much annoying as he could be.

Starting off, he interfered in the fight between Mu and the resurrected Saints. I’m not blaming him for not giving a damn about what Athena said, because at this point I’m just resigned to these Bronze(s) sticking their noses in the Golds business, but I will never be tired to say that Seiya should have kept away. By interfering in the fight, he got in Mu’s way. He got in the way of someone who was busy defending the Sanctuary, of someone who needed to concentrate on his opponents and his surroundings.  Basically, Seiya forced Mu to intervene against him, distracting the Gold Saint from what he was doing, and if the show was just a tad more logical that distraction alone would have had awful consequences.

He didn’t even learn his lesson. Instead of staying put (and this is something I accuse every Bronze Saint of), he said “screw it, I want to fight” and went back there. This you/ng man has no sense of self preservation, and has no understanding of things that are above him (again, this applies to all of the Bronzes who tried to interfere in this chapter, but Seiya has been doing this since the very beginning, so it’s kinda worse that he didn’t learn his lesson). 

Of course, against Myu he proved himself useless. Of fucking course. What did he expect, coming on top as he always does? It was so satisfying seeing him getting beaten up for his stupidity, because finally there’s no protagonist bullshit going on. One of the very few moments of peace. 

But fine, let’s move on. Let’s move on to the next bullshit. And I mean it.  The Athena Exclamation face-off, as I like to call it. This is not inherently Seiya’s fault, because that’s just a bullshit the show itself pulled off, but... yeah, guess who suggested this.  Guess who suggested that four Bronze Saints could stop not one, but two Atena Exclamations.  You want me to believe Shun, Hyoga or Shiryu decided this? Yeah, no. They just went along with that, and boy was I disappointed. I’m not blaming the protagonist shenanigans for their intervention working, though. That was just the whole show throwing everything out the window. One Athena Exclamation has the force of the Big Bang, and what was happening was two of that. No way in hell anyone less than a god would have stopped those six from annihilating the entire planet Earth. 

And then, everyone’s happy and all ended well Athena died. Shion told them the truth about all the resurrected Specters and their mission, and cue Seiya being entrusted with the deux ex machina of the show once again (aka Athena’s Kamui).

I have to admit, I liked the part where he (and Shun) bid goodbye to Saga. I liked how they showed him really care about him. This is an honest opinion, after all. This doesn’t get rid of all the times he straight up didn’t care about other Saints’ safety (again, see Mu), but I appreciated it. 

Hades Chapter: Inferno

Overall score: 0/10

Yes, I gave him a 0. He doesn’t deserve anything better.  Since he stepped into the Underworld, Seiya became the most annoying and disrespectful he’s even been on this show. Not to mention he was dumb and blind all the fucking time. 

First of all, he straight up attacked Charon. Didn’t even think about it, just “PEGASUS RYUSEIKEN” and that was it. Strike one. Hadn’t it been for Shun, he would have 1. died then and there or 2. never crossed the Acheron.  Strike two happened when he (and Shun for being fair) trusted Charon to ferry both of them to the other side. The only one with a token was Shun, I screamed at the screen for five minutes that Seiya wasn’t going to make it.  Surprise surprise, Charon tried to throw him off the ferry halfway through the river.  Strike three was him deciding to fight against Charon on the other side of the river, which resulted in something that shouldn’t have happened. Seventh Sense or not, Seiya wouldn’t have won so easily against a Specter, especially judging by how much he sucked against Myu. Plot necessities aside, that decision alone showed Seiya’s carelessness and overconfidence. 

Moving on, the part I absolutely loved. Balrog Rune judging Seiya for the sins he committed, and me agreeing with every single thing (even though Shun was right and no one has no sins). Sure, most of it was Kanon’s doing, but I think Kanon is just as pissed off at Seiya as me, so it’s a win-win situation.  The main reason I loved this part is, believe it or not, not the fact Seiya got annihilated, but the fact Seiya was faced by the truth. The fact Seiya looked back at all the awful stuff he did in the past, and faced the consequences.  This scene alone won him the 0/10 score. 

I’m not going to concentrate on the part where they meet Orphée, because nothing noteworthy happened, but I will say Seiya’s reaction to everything in this part was appropriate. So... maybe he gets half a point, I don’t know. 

And now, what really made me feel good ad frustrated at the same time.  Seiya getting the absolute shit getting kicked out of him in the most realistic depiction of a Bronze Saint against a Specter I’ve ever witnessed on this show.  I will say: Seiya’s reaction to Shun being possessed by Hades was good. It was genuine confusion and fear, it was him wanting to understand what was going on and wanting to believe it wasn’t real. It was a realistic reaction to shock.  This will not be earn him any points, because it’s legit the only time this happens, but I appreciated it nonetheless.  I am not, in any way, approving the fact he managed to damage Rhadamanthys, because bullshit, but I approve how this burst of strength was similar to an adrenaline rush. Maybe it’s just my clever thinking, but I liked it. 

It’s just... what happened next started his protagonist bullshit™ all over again. I’m not talking about him ticking Valentine, because that was the least he could have done considering he is a Saint and should be a tad smarter than any normal person. I’m talking about him refusing to let go of Athena’s Kamui in his miserable state and in his unconscious state.  And Athena giving him (and him only) enough strength to do whatever he needed to do to be a protagonist once more. She was there, she could have helped her Saints along, but nope. Seiya was more important, until the plot decided her intervention was needed elsewhere.  This puts both of them at fault, but at the time I was so pissed Seiya had to be the first receiving her help I just cannot bring myself not to blame his very existence. 

To finish this chapter off, as soon as they reached the Wailing Wall, Seiya proceeded to be so fucking annoying I had to pause the show and take a walk around my room.  What the fuck was he thinking about?! Shaka, the most powerful of the Gold Saints still alive, didn’t manage to make even a microscopic dent in that wall. But nooooooo, he feels so fucking powerful and entitled that of course the wall will break down under his punches.

I don’t fucking care you’re in distress about Athena being trapped with Hades, you shouldn’t even have though about doing that. No sense of self-preservation, and an annoying behavior that would have killed him. This is not what a Saint should be like.  I get you’re terrified for your beloved deity, but that’s not what a Saint should do. I was mad at Shaka for trying to be stupid, and that was Shaka. 

But fine. The goodbye to the Gold Saints was good. Seiya put aside his protagonist issues™ and respected them fully.  I have nothing to say about the Hyperdimension. Let’s move on before the veins on my forehead explode with anger.

Hades Chapter: Elysion

Overall score: 1/10 for excessive protagonism™

Oh, this is a treat. A very bad treat. An expired treat not even the trashcan wants.  The only point he got into this whole chapter is thanks to his sister, because I appreciate and respect how much he loves Seika.  All the rest, throw it away.

He was so fucking stupid here, to the point of straight up ignoring a deity and subsequently trying to fight that same deity. He kept being inappropriately “funny”, like when the nymphs (were they called nymphs in English? i don’t know, I’m sorry) ran away in fear and disgust (thank you), and severely underestimated the danger he was in.  No wonder he got his ass kicked into oblivion, I saw that coming since the beginning. 

I have to admit, the scene of his Divine Cloth finally appearing was cool. Objectively, it was well made.  What bothered me was the build-up for that to happen, because the whole scene made me feel like Seiya was the only one who could get a Divine Cloth (even though I knew all the others would eventually follow). The whole “feeling Athena’s presence and friends inciting him” was too protagonist-driven for me to appreciate it. If something, in any show, is going to happen to everyone and not just to the protagonist, it doesn’t seem right to still put said protagonist at the center of it. 

I hate Seiya. I would have complained if he would have been the only one to get the Divine Cloth (favoritism aside). I’m biased against him.  But, if I have to speak objectively and not subjectively, I would have enjoyed the build-up scene of everyone talking to Seiya way more if no one else would have gotten that sweet divine upgrade.  It’s not appreciable anymore if you want everyone to be equal, but still refuse to make things actually equal.  This might be something petty, but it bothers me. Here, and in any other piece of media where this kind of thing happens. 

I’m not calling protagonist bullshit™ on him defeating Thanatos because, at least this time, there was an actual reason for Seiya to be powerful enough. Realistically, a Divine Cloth’s purpose is exactly that, and neither of the twins was expecting something so surprising to happen. So, for once, it’s fine. 

I cannot say I hated his way of confronting Hades, but I did dislike how disrespectful he acted. Even Athena refused to be offensive in his regards. I just don’t like people being disrespectful towards any deity in Saint Seiya (and in real life), so maybe it’s just that.  The fight against Hades? Nothing memorable, Seiya was pretty much useless against a major deity, and that was accurate. Divine Cloth or not, that’s not a minor deity or a personification of something. 

As for the end... I saw it coming. Even the very first time I learned Seiya was willing to sacrifice himself, I saw it coming way earlier in the series.  And you know what? As twisted at this might sound, I would have been happy to learn he died. For one single reason. It makes sense for him to die.  He just got stabbed by Hades’ sword. By a divine artifact. He should have died as soon as that sword hit him, if not for the wound itself for the cosmo the weapon definitely imbued with.  When, some time later, I learned he didn’t die... well, I just said “Fuck this bullshit” and never appreciated this scene again. 

I might hate him, but it doesn’t fucking make sense that he survived, just for the sake of him being a protagonist. He should have died. Period. Even if he was the most perfect protagonist to have ever protagonist, even if he was my favorite character. He. Should. Have. Died. 

[hobiheavenly]

AFTER THE SUNRISE

☼ Pairing: Jung Hoseok x Reader

☼ Summary: you decided to play a prank on Hoseok since he called you undesirable, but were his claims actually true or is there something else hiding under the dancing man’s fascade?

☼ Word count: 4.6K

☼ Warning: fingering, cunnilingus (male receiving), slight dirty talk, penetration, cream pie, Hoseok’s huge dick and dancing hips

☼ A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE! I’m sorry to have kept all you waiting but finally I got this out of me. i swear I had the most horrible writers block but I hope this turns out for the better! Please let me know what you think! And as always I haven’t edited anything lol what else is new?

The sun was shining in Hoseok’s face. Normally he was usually a morning person but never after a party. He stretched out of the covers but then suddenly felt he wasn’t alone. He reared his head and his face lost all color. Oh no… he had really done it this time. I mean out of all the silly things he could have done, he truly fucked up this time. There you were lying in his bed. Looking under the blankets he confirmed his biggest fear….he was naked. And judging by the looks of the environment, a trail of clothes from the door to the bed, you both had sex. Hoseok went full panic mode as you slept peacefully naked underneath the covers. What even happened last night?

“Think Hoseok, think!!” he thought to himself. What DID he even do last night? All he remembered was going to Seokjin’s party and getting wasted after the dance battle he had with you and dancing with many girls, but in no moment had he gotten close to you….did he?

He remembered seeing you in that cute black ensemble and dancing with that pretty boy who had his hands all over you. That only made him just want to grab you and mess you up till you forgot all about that other guy. Sure he didn’t well like you but he couldn’t deny himself being attracted to you. But even if that were the case….at what point did he even get together with you?

You rolled over to put a hand on his chest, starting to hug him and pull closer to him. As you sighed in bliss, Hoseok looked at you as if you were an alien of another planet. SINCE WHEN DO YOU HUG HIM? WHY ARE YOU NAKED? There were a million questions in his mind he was bound to short circuit. In his jumbled mess of thoughts he knew one thing was certain. It would have seemed that you both had made love all night long. But it also seemed Jung Hoseok didn't have any memory of the incident whatsoever.

Now he had to face the consequences.

Slowly you opened your eyes and smiled as you kissed his cheek.

“Good morning” you said, smile so soft and warm. it was such a contrast to your regular serious face you greeted him with the exception of the occasional small smile popping in his direction.

“Uh, good morning Y/N”

“Y/N? why so formal? What happened with calling me “babygirl”? I mean that’s what you’ve been calling me all night” you stretched a little like a kitten waking up from a nap, a little bit of the sheet slipping down revealing your cleavage.

Whoa, were your tits always this good looking?

“Y/N… I mean Baby, what happened last night?”

“You mean you don't remember? I mean after doing it four times I thought for sure you wouldn't forget”, you give a flirty wink.

Hoseok was in total shock. FOUR TIMES! He knew he was a good lover, but for heaven's sake that was too much on a drunken night.

“All I remember is going to a party with Seokjin and drinking a couple of drinks, and then everything goes blank.”

You smiled and blushed. It was as if you both shared a secret but unfortunately he wasn’t able to recall at all “Oh that was some party last night. Especially the one you and I had here. I mean for a man who claims he doesn’t desire me you couldn’t keep your hands off of me” you looked down and traced circles in his chest while the hue of your cheeks went a little more red “Even when it's my first time without a condom it still was incredible!”

HOLY SHIT! He had fucked you without a wrapper. If he was feeling bad before for doing this the fact that you had entrusted him to fuck you without a condom made him feel even crappier. Jung Hoseok was many things in this life but he was a gentleman first and foremost and he would never fuck without a condom, especially on the first go. But how do you tell a girl who is over the moon about your sexual prowess that you remembered nothing?

“Y/N, I'm sorry but last night was a mistake.”

Bad start. He knew better than to start with the M word just as you were happy about this. You started forming the cutest pout with a splash of sadness coming from your eyes. It would be a lie to say he didn’t crave to kiss your lips and take away that sad expression. But no, this is time to focus.

“What do you mean a mistake? You were the one who actually begged me to do it. I was saying no, but you kept insisting.”

Hoseok sat up and took his hair off his face. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. This must be wrong, he would never beg a girl to have sex with him. "Ok calm down Hoseok I'm sure you must be dreaming. Y/N isn't here and you are just dreaming. Yeah, you are just having an erotic dream about Y/N"

He rubbed his eyes and even pinched himself, but it was useless, you were still there. Then panic struck him like a hammer. What if he got you pregnant? Damn, he was a goner if Krystal knew what he had done since she hated his guts more than anyone.

“Are you ok, Hobi? You don't look so good”

HOBI? A cute ass nickname? Really? Just how far did all this go?

“I….don't remember anything last night” He said nervously “I am so sorry”

A pained expression covered your face as you clutch to the bed sheets, “But you said you loved me. that you would treat me right. Are you saying you lied to me?”

“Technically it’s not a lie since I don’t remember” he tried to joke it off but that only made things worse because your face was just even more sad. Hoseok grabbed your shoulders, “Again, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I normally dont sleep around so easily. I’m always more focused on my dancing that I never think of girls.

“But what about those other girls you dated? Momo and the other girl?” you asked surprised.

Hoseok sighed and sat up straight. this had been thrown in his face so many times before it was necessary to set the record straight, “Ok so let me clear that once and for all, Momo is my dance partner and nothing else. She and I never dated and it was all a dumb rumor that grew way out of proportion. Besides she’s in a happy relationship with Jeongyeon, the other girl in the picture”

You blink for a second, disbelieving the statement the naked man in front of you had just said. It couldn’t be wrong. All the indications said otherwise, there was no way this could be true.

“But I saw the pictures...And the kiss emoji...you two were so close. And then the tons of girls that you go after.”

“Nope, Momo is completely utterly in lesbians with her girlfriend. Funny you mention that because Jeongyeon believed that same rumor and for the longest time hated my guts thinking I was going to snatch her girlfriend. But that time we went to dinner all together we bonded and she doesn’t hate me as much” He chuckled lightly reminiscing the many colorful threats and hard, cold stares Jeongyeon would throw at him from time to time, “and the other girls are just fans of my dancing and nothing more. I draw a fine line between my fans and myself and I have a rule of never dating a fan. Too troublesome.”

Unbelievable! You think you know a guy and it turns out he’s actually good?? Unreal!

“So you’re not a player?” You ask still blinking in confusion.

“Of course not. I barely go out with friends. Sure girls ask me out and stuff but I mostly just dance, go home, eat, and play videogames. My sex life is pretty dry to be honest. Which is why I’m very surprised I even slept with you”

This was the first of you hearing this. After all this time, you just thought he was always going out and sleeping with different girls, which made hating him easier for you. This entire scene was based on the misconception of this, but it turns out he was just a simple guy who could only think of dancing and if his body was any indication, he truly did it a lot. His abs glimmering in the morning light. You were starting to regret doing this.

You shifted in bed trying to get up scurrying yourself away from him. You needed out of this whole convoluted situation. “Listen Hoseok, I think it’s best if we just put this all behind us. Like you said it’s a mistake and we can just never speak of this again”

“But, you said we fucked without a condom?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, fucked me raw all night. But what does that matter now?”

He saw the precipitation in your eyes. There’s something here more than meets the eye and he wanted you to spill the beans. There was only one way he could get a woman to tell him what he wanted and you were right there ready to do what he pleases.

“I have to take responsibility over this Babe.” the brunet haired Adonis said as his face grew a sneaky smile. “I will have to get you to go out with me and form a relationship….probably even marry you if it turns out you get pregnant”

“Well, you don't have to do that. I mean, this was just something that...happened” You said nervously as Hoseok got closer to you. Each inch making you difficult to breathe, “I can just take the day after pill or something…”

“Oh, but I want to. And I wouldn't mind making you my wife” he said with a very sexy smile. He’s got you cornered just like he wanted you.

“Really?” you said surprised “cause I don't mind that we did it without a condom. I mean we wouldn’t be the first couple to do so... I..I…”

You were interrupted abruptly by a very passionate kiss that Hoseok layed on your lips. It was incredible how easily you felt weak and trembled in his arms as he possessed your lips. You felt the room spin in circles as both of you submerged into kissing each other.

It would be a lie say that you had never imagined yourself kissing Hoseok. Deep down, as much as you grew yourself to hate him you couldn’t really do so. The attractive style, his grace as he walked, the way he seemed to own everything but was never smug about it always pulled you in to him like a magnet. You didn’t hate Hoseok so much as you hated yourself for being attracted to him.

He pulled you close as he deepened the contact you both made instinctively your hands went to his chest and neck. You brain screamed to stop, your heart yelled go, and your body seemed on fire all from just one kiss.

When you both pulled away you were both breathless, lips numb and eyes dark from the passion that formulated within both of you. You had to slap yourself mentally to regain consciousness of reality. This can’t be true! Hoseok would never have feelings for you...right?

“I’m confused, I thought you said...that you didn’t like me” you closed your eyes. The room seemed to spin in its own axis threatening to make you dizzy.

“We said a lot of things online but most of them were fueled by anger I felt. If I’m being honest I didn’t hate our first date. Yes, I will admit I didn’t help make a good impression coming in all sweaty and in my dancing clothes. But overall I had fun and I thought you were cute, peculiar, but cute nonetheless.”

“That’s why the tweets hurt so much for me. I thought we had something but then you went off to complain and then proceeded to date another guy, of course I’d be mad”

Oh my god, your day out with Jungkook! That wasn’t really even a date for you. You felt bad about this whole situation, it was necessary to apologize and tell him the truth of what went on but Hoseok continued talking.

“I was angry at you and then at him but then I became more angry at myself. I was the one who blew it so it’s only natural. I just wanted one more chance to try to mend things but you and I would get into arguments and I must admit I love confrontation with you, it really turns me on”

Your mouth went agape with Hoseok’s confession. This was totally unexpected. You just wanted to prove the point that you were desirable to him but this goes beyond what you expected to get out of him. He took advantage of this moment to continue kissing you his hands spread on your back as he continues to press against you.

Hoseok’s lips spread on your skin beginning with your neck and going down to your breasts. You parted your lips the moment his tongue started getting closer to your bosom but instead of a plea to stop what escaped your lips was a soft moan. Oh how you cursed your body for betraying you.

Hoseok’s eyes looked at you, darkened by the lust he felt as he continued licking and using his teeth on your now hardened nipple. “I’ve wanted to touch you and taste you for the longest time. And from here on out you are going to be mine, no more pretty boy for you”

The sexual haze was drowning you to the point of forgetting everything that was going on around you. You needed a moment to think. you needed….

“Hold it right there!”

Hoseok turned to the door and saw Kim Seokjin and Jung Krystal, your personal friends, standing there looking at the couple. Your lover grew angry. “Seokjin this better be good! What do you want?” he said irritated.

“I can't let you take away Y/N’s innocence.”

“What are you going on about Hyung? Innocence? This a private matter between me and Y/N”

Right behind Seokjin, Krystal came out and pushed the rich heir out of the way making her presence be center stage, like the queen she usually was. “Actually no. You and Y/N have never made love to each other” Krystal interjected.

“But last night….”

“You passed out after a couple of drinks. I told you drinking scotch was a bit too hard for you” said Seokjin shrugging his broad shoulders and shaking his head.

The confusion on Hoseok’s face became the most evident. It would explain his lack of memory of any event occurred last night. But was this all really just a ruse? Had all the emotions you displayed right now been a lie?

“And the three of us had a perfect way to prank you” she replied with delight, “well better yet, Seokjin and I made a bet to Y/N that she could pretend to have made love to you. Fortunately for us, she was already buzzed and was looking for a thrill”

You could see Hoseok’s expression changed in that moment. Gone was the smile and the playful smirk and was now being replaced by a stern face. You instantly felt the pang of regret in your chest. If only you had known before about his feelings. Why had you been so blind?!

“I got to say, she is a good actress” said the older hyung, rubbing more salt to the wound.

So it was a prank? He hadn't made love to you? He felt a bit relieved but the other part of him felt angry. Hoseok had revealed his emotions to you so easily. He felt like a fool for trusting you so quickly seeing as how you had previously expressed anger and disgust. That couldn’t have been taken away a in one night and he should have known that.

“How could you do this?” Hoseok said with a somber and serious voice.

“Well at first i did it because Seokjin was going to pay me. When I thought this more I convinced myself that this was payback for all the snarky remarks you did about me being undesirable and i thought what better way to get back at you than to scare you” as you relayed this you could see his face harden with each word until you finished with,

“But then I realized that in reality this was a really great way to get closer to you.”

Hoseok blinked in confusion, “If you wanted to get closer to me then why did you have to make up all this?”

“You think you would have taken time to even get to know me, or even listen to me for more than three seconds without you fighting with me? I wanted to be with you as something more than just the silly girl who you always make fun of.”

Hoseok looked at you tenderly. Even through the competitive nature you both had and the disdain you had always shown him you were a sweet girl. An impulsive one, but sweet nonetheless. He looked at Seokjin and gave him an evil glare.

“Get out now!”

The elder shook nervously behind his tall girlfriend, “Look Hobi-ah we are sorry but please take it easy. We were only having fun.”

“Get. Out. Now!”

Hoseok pulled Seokjin and Krystal out of his bedroom and out of his apartment.

“Wait, what about Y/N? Don't tell me that you are going to punish her?” said Krystal.

“As a matter a fact, I am. My soon to be girlfriend has a thing or two she needs to learn about the consequences of trouble making” Hoseok slamming the door in their faces and directly went back to look at you lying in his bed. His eyes redshot in rage and a stern line on his lips. He walked slowly, like a lion hunting his prey.

“I….I’m sorry” you held the sheets in a tight grip, nervous as Hoseok walked up to you, “I can make this up to you somehow, I didn’t know you liked me and I…”

The moment Hoseok shook right next to your bed, he swiftly pulled you close to him and possessed your lips in one stealthy move. His lips were demanding, pressing you so close to him it gave you no space to breathe or think.

“You wanna make it up to me? How about making that fake scene come true? How about I take your body and mark it mine again and again till you have nothing in your mind other than me?”

His words sent chills up your spine and started a fire in your core. You looked at his eyes, studied his expression as you touched his cheek, then gracing his neck and his chest. Normally your instinct would yell to run and leave, but your body felt numb to instinct craving the attention and the touch of Hoseok’s hands all over you.

“Then make me yours, hot shot. You should know well by now that I never back down from a challenge”

With just a growl as a response, Hoseok pulled away the bed sheets and pushed you down on the bed. He observed your body spread on his bed, waiting for him to fuck you hard and make good on that threat he made. He was determined to enjoy that delicious body of yours slowly till he drove you mad.

Hoseok lowers himself kissing you passionately as his fingers explore your skin, the touch sparking fire on your body, every inch he touched burning. He looked at your nipples for a second as he pinched softly on one of them, the sensation sure to ignite more heat.

But that was just one bump in the road, there’s was much more to explore and have fun with. The moment his fingers reached your core he swiftly entered his digit inside the hot entrance, your pussy already hot and wet from his previous foreplay.

“All hot and wet for me babygirl? You’re feeling rather tight though” with just one finger he started to pump inside “do you think your pussy can take me?”

The challenge, he knew how to get you fired up. You responded to his touch with a soft moan as you grabbed yourself to his shoulders and arched your back. You took advantage of the distraction he had with your breast as he dipped his head to succor your tit to grab a hold of his erect penis, pumping him slowly. The unexpected movement causing him to react to your touch. If he wanted a challenge he’s gonna get one.

“You let me worry about my pussy… unless you think this big fat cock’s not enough?”

Fuck taking this slow, he wanted you right then and there. But just like with dancing he wanted to take this sensual tango for two and make it as long as necessary. He pumped, you pumped, he put another finger inside you while his thumb traced circles to your clit while you tightened the grip on his dick tracing circles on the hot red head. It was all a give and take as you both kept kissing each other almost devouring each other with each kiss.

“Hoseok….i feel like I’m gonna cum soon” you felt the flashes of pleasure come in like a tidal wave and wipe you out in the most delicious way.

You didn’t need to be a psychic to know he had his smug smile come through his face as you descended from your high. Round one went to Hoseok, but the battle wasn’t over yet. “Aww...cumming so soon? And my dick hasn’t even gone inside you yet” he faked a pout.

Your breath hitched for a bit as you closed your eyes on him. Swiftly you push Hoseok on the bed and slithered your way down to his dick, waiting erect and hot for your touch. “Then I guess I better step up my game”

His dick twitched with excitement which brought a smirk to your lips. Your lips sucked the head, the taste salty from his precum. One thing was true, his cock was way too big for you to take. At least with your mouth for sure. You had to use both of your hands to pump while your mouth sucked him in and out at an increasingly slow tempo. Hoseok had slept with many girls in his lifetime but seeing you between his legs bobbing your head and struggling to be able to take his full length inside your mouth was both adorable and erotic. That mouth that once spat vicious things to him was now sucking him off as if life depended on it. He could see you touching your clit trying to get some fun out of this yourself but you opted to just stick to pleasuring him. Your high would come soon after.

But your technique was too good on him in the long run, his orgasm threatening to come any second. You let go of Hoseok’s cock in one pop and it took him all of his inner strength to not come in your face as he saw you; hair messy, lips red from the friction and your eyes darkened in lust.

“Are you not gonna cum for me?” Your catty smile grew wickedly on your face. Seems like you’re both at a tie.

“I’d rather cum inside you” he shifted his weight on his forearms as you lifted yourself back up and kissed him once more. His taste lingered in your mouth triggering a beastly growl from Hoseok as he grabbed your legs to put you in the correct position, grabbing his dick to probe around your hot entrance that was already twitching to be fucked.

The moment his dick entered your core, time seemed to stop. There was no twitter war, no other people, no feuds of any sort. It was just Hoseok and you in a strangely perfect link of body and soul.

For Hoseok, pussy was madness; pleasure feeling so heavenly, the heat feeling like something made from hell. He felt bliss and sin all in one sweet movement of his dick.

You closed your eyes feeling his entire length slowly enter you, the head of his dick gracing the cervix making you see stars so quickly. But Hoseok snapped you back to reality, by literally slapping your ass, eyes fixed on you.

“Look at me while I fuck you, look at me and only me”

“You truly do love an audience when you dance” you said breath shaking with the warning of an impending second orgasm.

“This is my best dance yet, babygirl” he winked, moving his hips slowly and little by little increasing his tempo. Hoseok’s dancing abilities truly shined the moments he fucked you. His hips knew the right force to which to drive you crazy. Soft, soft, hard. Your hips swayed along not wanting to fall back

Your legs locked behind his back as you bounced on his dick. Every second his dick was out, your pussy pulled him right back in. You craved it you needed it like a drug and Hoseok didn’t fall behind. It was crazy just how right you both felt. The crook of his hips gave perfect access for your legs, your beautiful tits bouncing on top of his in the most synchronized way.

“I can’t…I’m gonna cum again...fuck you’re so big inside me”

“Same...your pussy is so good it’s devouring me whole...I can’t wait anymore”

Even while on the verge of an impending orgasm, Hoseok’s mind was knocked into reality. He didn’t have a condom on and cumming inside you would be inconsiderate. And as if you could read his concerns you put your lips close to his ear and whispered: “it’s okay I can take the pill, do good on that promise and mark me as yours Hobi”

“Ffffuuuuckkk!!!” He bellowed as he came on top of you, his hot cum splattering on your insides. Hoseok tumbled down next to you, both of you out of breath and completely dazed after the most amazing orgasm both of you had ever felt.

“This... is way better than a twitter war” you spouted happily as you kissed your brand new boyfriend in his lips.

“Had I known sex would be this great we could have avoided so much shit had we just fucked the first date” Hoseok smirked toyingly.

“Good sir, but I am still a lady!” You feigned indignation, “I never sleep on the first date!”

“Well then, good thing the first one was already over. How about I take you to many more to make up for the one I screwed up?”

“Challenge accepted” you laughed as you continued to lazily kiss each other.

For the rest of the day the two of you decided to just stay in his room where you dedicated the entire day talking about how you felt, about every single misconception between the both of you and of course there was the "obedience lessons".

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

Hope you’re doing okay, I know there’s been a lot going on the past couple weeks. 🌈🌈💛💛

FOOF YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN

thank you for the good vibes anon, i love you and it means a lot to me. however unfortunately now im gonna use this to vent dump exactly how much has been going on the past couple weeks off the top of my head. this is actually pretty far from Everything thats happen but im so tired and dont want to think about any of it anymore

my grandma passed away last week. we were prepared for it and we know she’s at peace in a better place et cetera et cetera, her body was all full of restraints & impediments that she doesnt have to deal with anymore and the next time she’s in a body it’ll be all New And Improved and awesome. i missed so much work in anticipation of this that now i can’t get work off on the day of the funeral, so i can still go to it but i’ll have to go immediately to work right from it and have to pretend everythings fine and dandy and nothings going on.

everyone at work Does know there’s something going on however and the two coworkers i have who are actually like i consider them friends mostly they’re all like Hey Im Here For You Talk About Your Feelings Honestly with me and i. dont. want. to talk about my feelings at work. thats not what work is for and i dont like talking about my feelings anyway and i dont want them to ask anymore

the changes to the handbook and the honor code have completely sunk my heart. i had so much hope up until those hideous ridiculous unfathomably transphobic things they wrote and now i don’t feel like i can trust or have hope in ANYTHING the institution does anymore. ive been up all night going back and forth over whether i want to go to church today. or ever again. it’s not bringing me joy. it’s making me feel anxious and depressed and frustrated and alone. i keep seeing people just on the street or on facebook who are so happy and content with the church and whatever it does and i just…i get struck every single time with this thought of “they don’t care about me. they don’t care about any of these problems. they’re not affected personally by it and so they don’t care.”

and then that makes me feel like such a hypocrite because!!! ive been them too for so long!! what makes this moment so different!!!!! why is this the straw that breaks the camel’s back when the camel should have thrown off the whole burden and run to join its friends at the first strike of the owner’s whip!!!!!!

plus it’s making me feel gross about my mormon memes blogs. idk if i can keep running those anymore.

im failing this semester anyway and i keep getting emails about it. i was planning to take a break from school After this semester but ive missed so much class that i just really can’t go back to any of them so i guess im just dropping out right now. as much as i’d love to participate in all the incredible amazing protests going on right now i really really cant be on campus at all without feeling literally physically ill. and my Hope was to do really well this last semester and then submit mission papers and that way i’d know exactly what next to do with my life until i decide what After, and id be able to Get Out somewhere and travel someplace while still feeling like my life has some semblance of structure and direction. however! HOWEVER!!!!!!!!

i’ve been feeling so, so horrible and so worn down and i dont even know where or what my testimony is anymore. but that’s probably a lot lower on the list of Why I Can’t Serve A Mission, because a. i still don’t trust my Local Bishop enough to talk to him about things The Handbook says to b. i am finding it harder and harder and harder to be perceived as female. i never really have dysphoria about my body or my presentation or anything but like, when people say Sister and Ma’am and Miss and Daughter and Hey Pretty Lady It’s Me Your Relief Society President it’s like…that’s not me. that feels gross. and i wear suits and ties to church, have done so for a while and never get any flak for it, and im gradually working up the nerve to maybe start introducing myself as lev or levi instead of lillie buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut. socially transitioning apparently is not allowed.

not to mention my temple recommend expired ages ago anyway. anxiety about bishops prevented me from ever going in for an interview to renew it. i haven’t visited the temple once since before graduating high school. but every time i see it or think about it i long for it so badly and it hurts so much.

and also like, i get that same kinda horrible regretful longing feeling whenever i hear violin music? because i played violin for a few years and then stopped but i still have the instrument because it was given to me by my grandmother. who played it herself until sickness wouldn’t let her anymore and she entrusted it to me and i Stopped Playing but then i hoped to pick it up enough to at least learn how to play her favorite song and aw wouldn’t that be so nice to play that for her on her violin except i never actually got around to printing out the sheet music or practicing At All. and now she’s gone.

and one of the last things she said to me was that she would love to hear my book since her eyesight was too gone to read it so i said i’d record it as soon as i got the right software/hardware to do that and then i never did that either. also i promised alla yalls that book would be Published Published coming up on four months ago now and i still haven’t done that

i took a pair of safety scissors to my forearms as mentioned in a previous post and surprise surprise, the lines have not healed still, it’s getting warmer outside and thus harder to wear long sleeves, and guess what! a while ago on a separate occasion i complained that i kinda wished my self harm scars looked more like the classic cutter lines and Now They Do!! And I Hate It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and a couple nights ago my little sister saw them and so i told her i got attacked by a spider-pawed bear and fortunately my brother Understands and backed me up like “dang what do they teach in schools these days i cant believe youve never heard of the spider-pawed bears that live in the mountains and are totally normal and real”

and steven universe is ending. that’s a thing.

and like….okay. not everything in my emotions right now is bad. some of it is just complicated. one coworker friend i have recently confessed that she’s had a crush on me for several months now. fortunately when she said this i was able to be honest and say that im not super eager for a relationship right now, im not ready in the slightest to settle down or anything, im still hung up on my high school crush and also dealing with issues from my last relationship, and she replied that’s all perfectly fine and she doesn’t have any expectations and she’s great being friends and we can take things at whatever pace is good

except i also now have a date with said high school crush loosely planned for tomorrow and i told this coworker friend about it and she admitted it’s making her a little jealous and then she said jealous is an ugly word and amended it to Insecure and i feel bad about that

but i also like. am really excited for this date. like it’s not really a for sure romantic capital-d Date and that’s fine, but i haven’t seen this friend irl for so long and ive been missing her so much over this past little while that we’ve been internet chatting and that ive been i guess officially falling back in love with her but i also like, i dont know what her deal is romantically right now i don’t want to presume anything but i really really really am itching to see her

work is stressful. it’s only gonna get more so as weather gets warmer. but we’re getting two new managers with loads of experience and glowing reviews next week. i have hope that they’ll makes things a little lighter.

and there’s also. good things. peridot took off her visor for the first time ever in canon and i saved like 50 different gifs of it to my computer cus it rocked my world. sonic has she-ra toys for the kids meals and i managed to snag a tiny inflatable version of the sword. i’m making cosplays of the tres horny boys from the adventure zone and they’re all very exciting and making things makes me very very happy. i’m finding joy in all the fanfictions i’m writing right now and in talking about dungeons & dragons with my brothers and friends. ducknerva is a very beautiful Good Ending version of marahope which makes me happy and taako is a super effective projection outlet. i bought cupcakes today and they were delicious. and when i think about those good things, when i think about any good thing no matter how small, everything else disappears.

whatever happens happens i guess.

she who lives will see.

[tournesolia]

Lunatic Parade Ayato Chapter 4 Translation

Place : Bernstein castle - Castle gate

Yui : (I hope we can meet with the earl...)

Pardon me. Um...

*the door opens

Butler : … We've been waiting for you. Now, come inside

Ayato : Tch, just as expected, that earl dude knew everything

Yui : Yes...

(But if we can enter inside like this, does that mean he's willing to listen to our story...?)

Scene change : Bernstein castle - Throne room

Butler : The master is coming soon. Wait a little longer

Yui : … Sorry for the trouble

*door opening

Earl of Walter : Hello, you two. Since you came back to this castle, have you finished settling all your bad deeds ?

Ayato : Tch, you sound so fake. You know everything...

Yui : Um, in fact...--

*Yui explains their situation to the earl

Yui : – And this is why we're not able to fix this key...

Earl of Walter : Hmm, I see. However, it's against the conditions I presented

Unfortunately, I can't return the heart to...

No, wait... A key, you said... ? Excuse me but can you show it to me ?

Ayato : … ? The key ? I don't mind. It's broken and unusable though

*Ayato shows him the key

Earl of Walter : … ! This is...

Ayato : … What ? What's the problem with that key ?

Earl of Walter : I want you to tell me more about the person who gave you this key

Yui : The person... ? It's the owner of a basement connected to the underground channel...

Ayato : We saw him hanging out with suspicious fellows. They gave bad guys vibes since they were doing something in secret

Earl of Walter : … I see, just as I thought...

Yui : Um... Do you happen to know something ?

Earl of Walter : … They're perhaps the Wolf's small-scale bad guys who have been raging around here recently

This key is probably connected to the basement of my castle... These guys are attempting to trespass here

Yui : Eh... ? Then...

Ayato : Then what should we do ? We can't get those dudes to forgive us unless we fix that key

But if we fix that key, doesn't that mean we're helping those bad guys ?

Earl of Walter : … Well, that would be the case

Yui : Then, this matter is...

Earl of Walter : … Hehe. Are you by any chance thinking that everything is solved with this, young lady ?

Yui : Ah... That's because...

(To get the owner and his allies to forgive us, we have to do something inconvenient for the earl...)

(If we prevent them from getting into this castle, doesn't that mean we don't need their forgiveness...?)

Earl of Walter : Well, don't be so impatient. I certainly can't say that this was an unforeseen situation

I shall make you a new proposal

Ayato : Aah ? What the hell is that !?

Earl of Walter : If you help me to capture those Wolfs...

I can return the heart to you as a reward... How about this ?

Ayato : Aah !? Why asking us that !? You should let the police dealing with those small fries !

Earl of Walter : Haha. You say some amusing things. Ayato... You seem to be familiar with the Human World, according to what your father taught you

But there's not a convenient organization called “Police” in this town. Have you forgotten that ? Hehe...

Ayato : Tch, shaddup ! I was just a little careless

You ask us that but I dunno how many they are, how can we capture them with just us two ?

Earl of Walter : Don't be so impatient. I never said you will do that alone

Hey, bring the guests here !

*door opens and some people are coming

Yui : … !

(These persons are...)

Ayato : H-Hey... You guys are...

Earl of Walter : I gathered them, thinking something like this would happen. What do you think ? Do you remember these persons ?

Yui : (The pretzel shopkeeper, the crepe shopkeeper... The locksmith... Everyone...)

Earl of Walter : These people said they all forgived you for what you have done

On top of that, they offered to cooperate with the hunting of those low-scale bad guys

Pretzel shopkeeper : It was also the work of those small-scale bad guys' companions that they tried to mess up my store

It would be troublesome for them to interfere with my business during the parade period

Locksmith : Me too, I can't stand the thought that I would put up with being an accomplice in a dangerous crime

Because I use my skills for people, not for stealing

Earl of Walter : In this way... The people of this town hold a considerable grudge against them as well

I was thinking that we have to do something sometime soon. I can say that now is a great opportunity

Ayato : Heeh, so we have to kick every last one of those bad guys here ?

Alright, I'll do it. But I have one condition instead

Earl of Walter : … And what would that be ?

Ayato : Give back her heart right now

Yui : … !

Ayato : The Great Me always feels uneasy about if she'll collapse again or not

I'd get distracted from exterminating the bad guys...

And... I don't wanna see her suffering anymore

If you gave her heart back, I'll absolutely catch every last one of them...

Yui : Ayato-kun...

Ayato : Please ! Save her... I'm begging you... !

Earl of Walter : …

Yui : (Ayato-kun... He usually hates to lower his head before anyone, and yet...)

Earl of Walter : Sakamaki Ayato... Aren't those words lies ?

Ayato : Aah ? Lies ? Those aren't lies !

Earl of Walter : … I see

But are you sure ? If I return the heart to her, she will be targeted by vampires

Ayato : If that happens, I got medidine from that erudide-glasses to protect her against vampires

And the Great Me's gonna protect breastless, so it'll be fine !

Earl of Walter : … Alright. Your speech wasn't so bad

I can say it would be amusing to entrust that heart to you once again...

Yui : … !

Ayato : Then... !

Earl of Walter : Alright. I'll return the heart to you at once

Yui : Ah... Thank you very much !

Earl of Walter : … However, isn't it too early to be relieved ? I can immediately steal your heart again depending on your actions

I will also do it if you weren't able to catch those small-scale bad guys. Do you understand ?

Ayato : Obviously ! I'm gonna catch them all by myself !

Earl of Walter : Hehe. I'm looking forward to it. Well then, shall we move on to the strategy right away ?

Scene change : Saint nore park street

Ayato : He said we must execute our strategy... simultaneously, at the end of the parade

Yui : Yes... We still have some time left

Ayato : Yeah. Sooo, what do we do... ? Oh, hey, breastless. Let's get on that

Yui : The ferris wheel... ?

Ayato : Yup. Looks like the parade will close some time or another

It wouldn't be bad to see everything from above before that

Yui : … You're right

(The parade will end tonight...)

(I couldn't enjoy the parade quietly with Ayato-kun, in the end...)

(But I'm happy enough just by being with him like this)

(Besides... What we have to do from now on is a real performance...)

Scene change : Inside the ferris wheel

Yui : (When we exit the ferris wheel, we'll have little time left before the start of the operation...)

(With the fake key the earl prepared for us, we're going to be the decoys, but...)

*flashback

Earl of Walter : There's only one thing you must pay attention to

Those guys are used to handling bombs. They might use them

The crucial thing is to carry out the plan without being noticed by the ennemy so far

… This operation, including that side, will depend on you two. Any questions ?

*end of flashback

Yui : (Our ennemies have bombs. We'll maybe be in very bad trouble...)

(Ayato-kun...)

Choice 1 : Hold hands (correct)

Ayato : … What's up ? You're suddenly holding my hand...

You totally like holding hands, huh ? Hehe...

Yui : … That's because...

Ayato : Let us finish this and fully enjoy the parade, okay ?

Yui : (… He holds my hand back...)

Choice 2 : Stare at him (incorrect)

Ayato : … What's up ? You're staring at my face...

Yui : … That's because...

– End of choices

Ayato : … Are you maybe scared 'cause of that bomb talk we heard ?

Yui : …

Ayato : Sigh... No need to worry. It's just bombs

Yui : But...

Ayato : Hey, Yui. When we exit the ferris wheel, let's return to the hotel first

Yui : Eh... ?

Ayato : I'll go to their hideout alone. Don't worry. Everything will definitely go well...

Yui : … You can't do that ! For you to do that alone... That's...

I want to go with you as well... !

Ayato : But... Our ennemies might be dangerous. The earl said there's a lot of them...

Yui : … As I said... You can't go all alone to such a dangerous place...

I don't like that...

Ayato : Yui...

Yui : Besides, if you go alone, it may be suspicious, no ?

If me, a woman, is with you, our ennemies might lower their guard a little...

I have my heart back so I definitely won't slow you down...

So, take me with you... Please... !

Ayato : …

Yui : (I don't want Ayato-kun to go alone, anyway...)

Ayato : Sigh... Geez, you're a troublesome one. You...

Fine. Instead, don't ever leave Yours Truly. Can you promise that ?

Yui : … Yes, I promise

Ayato : Alright, let's go together, then. No matter what happens, the Great Me will protect you

… So stay by my side

Yui : Ayato-kun...

Ayato : Oh, look. The view is pretty nice

Yui : You're right... It's beautiful...

Ayato : To tell you the truth, I wanted to get rid of that faster and enjoy the parade with you...

Yui : …

Hey, Ayato-kun

Ayato : Hm ? What ?

Yui : You know, actually... I made a strange dream, recently...

Ayato : … A dream ?

Yui : Yes... I don't know if it's true or not, but I think it's the earl who showed me that dream...

Ayato : … The earl ?

Yui : … In that dream, he said something. That you help me only for my heart...

And that you don't think about myself at all...

Ayato : … ! That's... !

Yui : But don't worry, because I clearly know... that you're not that kind of person

I know there's no one else but you who thinks about me...

When you said you would definitely save me... I believed these words as well...

Ayato : … Yui...

*Ayato hugs Yui

Yui : Ah…

Ayato : Heh, you're an idiot, aren't you. Were you maybe troubled by that dream ?

Geez, that earl bastard. How far he's gonna mess with you until he's satisfied... ?

I really hate him... !

Hey, listen well

You're mine. So I won't let anyone do what they want to you

The earl, those low-scale bad guys... No one...

*they kiss

Yui : (… Ayato-kun...)

(… I love you...)

Scene change : Glimmer street – Eisen alley

Vampire child C : Mama, hurry ! It's tiiime !

Vampire mother A : Hey, if you hurry so much, you'll drop the lantern

Ayato : … Alright, let's go. You ready ?

Yui : Yes

(Our strategy will finally begin...)

Ayato : … Are you nervous ?

Yui : Eh... ? Well, yes... A little...

Ayato : Heh, you'll just follow Yours Truly, no ?

Well, think of it as a part of the parade's attractions, you just have to watch

Yui : (… Ayato-kun...)

… Okay

Scene change : Underground corridor

*Ayato knocks at the door

Ayato : … Hey. I brought the key as promised

Owner : … Oh, you finally came. Come in

Scene change : Underpass – Small room

Suspicious man A : Heh, I thought you ran away since you took so long to come

Ayato : Aah ? We didn't do that !

Owner : … Well, it's fine. Anyway, hand over the key

Ayato : 'Kay. Here...

Yui : … The key is here...

*They show them the key

Owner : … Oh. This is surely...

… Nethertheless, you fixed it well. Have you noticed that this key is special ?

Ayato : Sort of. But that's not a big deal for the Great Me

… Anyway, do you forgive us for what we did ?

Owner : Aah, of course... If the key is real as you say, though... !

*the owner grabs Yui

Yui : … ! Kyaaa !?

Ayato : Yui... !?

Owner : Don't move, if that woman's life is precious to you...

Yui : (… A knife...!)

Ayato : You bastard, what the hell are you doing !? Let her go now !

Owner : Hehe... Well, no need to panic. If we know that this key is real, I'll release her right away

That key is real, isn't it ? So there's nothing to worry about... right ?

Ayato : Tch...

Suspicious man B : Well, if that key is fake... We'll kill that woman in a flash. Hehe !

Ayato : What the heck !? Don't fuck with me ! I won't let that happen !

Owner : Well, anyway, we'll know it right away once we use this key on the door

Now, let's go and try it...

Yui : … !

(At this rate, they'll find out the key is a fake...!)

*the bad guys leave with Yui

Ayato : Ah... Wait... ! Don't act violent on her !

*Ayato runs after them

Scene change : Underpass – Large door

Owner : Now then, open this door...

*the owner gives the key to Ayato

Ayato : … I got it...

Yui : (What should we do... ? If we don't find a way to buy some time, we'll both...)

Ayato : …

Yui : Ayato-kun...

Ayato : … Don't worry. It's not a big deal...

Yui : (… Please, god...!)

*Ayato uses the key on the door and opens it

Ayato : … ! The key...

Yui : (… Unlocked the door...?)

Owner : … Oh

Ayato : … See ? As I said, this key ain't fake...

Yui : (… ! The door opened by itself...?)

???1 : Now ! Capture them !!

???2 : Uwoooh !!

Suspicious man A : Wha... !

Owner : … What's the meaning of this !?

Suspicious man B : Leave ! Let's run now !

Crepe shopkeeper : Ha ! You think I'll let you do that !?

Yui : (They're all coming from behind !!)

Ayato : Yui !! Now ! Come this way !!

Yui : Ayato-kun... !

Owner : Tch, I won't let you !

*the owner grabs Yui

Yui : Guh... !

Ayato : Yui... !

Owner : Step back ! Or I'll kill this woman !

Locksmith : Guh... What a coward... !

Owner : Ha, say whatever you want. Now, woman ! Come this way !!

Yui : Ayato-kun !

*the owner runs away with Yui

Ayato : Shit ! He ran away !! Wait... !!

*Ayato run after them

Scene change : Underpass – Small room

Yui : Kyaa... !

(This place is... the basement...)

Owner : Haa... Haa... Good grief, a little more and those impertinent guys...

… Now that things have come to this, I'll blow up that hideout and all the evidences to not be tracked !

Owner : Woman... You’ll perish as well... Hehe...

Yui : (Ah... This is...!)

(He applies gunpowder on the walls...!)

Ayato (from the other side) : Yui !! Are you alright !? You bastard... ! Open now !!

*Ayato punches the door

Yui : … !

Ayato-kun ! Don't come !!

Take everyone with you and run away, now !!

Ayato : Aah !? There's no way I can do that !!

Yui : Please ! Do what I say ! There's a bomb in this room... !

Ayato : … ! Then all the more reason to not leave you and run away !!

Damn it !! Yui ! Yui... !!

*Ayato punches the door

Owner : Hehe... If you have any last words, now is the time to convey them

Yui : (… ! Fire...!)

Owner : Unfortunately, it's over...

*Ayato manages to enter

Ayato : – !!

Yui : Ayato-kun, no ! Run...-- !!

Ayato : Are you fucking kidding me !? I told you that you belong to Yours Truly !

I won't let you die alone-- !!

*There's an explosion and everything goes white

Ayato : … !!

Yui : Kyaaaaa !!

(Ayato-kun...!!)

Chapter 4 : End