#it's finally done and i'm releasing it into the void

[dlatl98]

The ending is always awkward.

"Maedhros. I will be king." "Yes." "I will choose men."

Maedhros looked at his adopted son, who usually called him father. He fiercely refused to be called father, but unlike Elrond, who had considered Maedhros's suffering, Elros stubbornly insisted on being father, and surprisingly, he had Maedhros give up, and finally allowed Elrond to call Maedhros as he wished. So he called him Maedhros instead of father… "You speak as if they were the same." "They are the same."

Elros looked at him, frighteningly. Unlike Elrond, he loved his adoptive fathers, but did not pity them. But he understood them terribly. “I will do things I cannot bear and I will not look back. I will be terribly determined and terrible. I will burn the world with all my might and act as if there is no tomorrow, making plans for a thousand years that I will not see. I will make plans that will collapse. I will do things I dare not do. I will live with all my might and pay the price with my death.”

“As expected of you,” Maedhros smiled bitterly. “Noldor.”

“A men. And the elf who dared choose mortality was a Sinda.” Elros was silent, and then continued. “But you should never have gone there in the first place.”

"We had to go. I've changed my mind a bit now. The world is made up of several layers, so sometimes wrong things lead to right things, and sometimes doing things that you were told not to do leads to things that should have been done. In this labyrinthine world, who can easily gauge right and wrong, limits, and boundaries? In a world where good leads to evil, and evil decides to the end. But it seems like you chose to be men, which is the right thing for you."

"I don't care about what's right for me. I just make my own choices."

Elros said and handed him the sword. Maedros shook his head. "Fine. It doesn't have to be a good sword. This is the end. If durability isn't important, the difference between a good sword and a defective one isn't that big."

"Yes. But that's because you're Maedhros of the left hand."

Elros accepted the sword and put it back on his waist. Even so, he hesitated for a moment, which was unusual for him. Maedhros asked. "But I'm curious. Even if you were Gil-galad side, there probably weren't many men around you. Since there weren't any men around you, I thought you'd think about it and decide when you were older."

Maedhros was a little surprised. Elros looked at him as if he found it absurd and laughed in vain, and his expression gradually became desolate as he looked at him. He whispered. "I've thought about it a lot. Really a lot. I wish you were a men. You could have just kept your oath and lived, and thought, let's hold out until we die anyway. You wouldn't have had to endure all this. You could have said that life and death are one to me, so there's nothing to fear. You could have swung your sword and laughed that even the Void couldn't catch me. You could have burned me completely without looking back.

And at some point, I knew it. I, too, will eventually commit it. So I have to pay up front."

"men probably think about the future too." "The price was paid up front, so it's not as much as the elves. It's light because there's nothing to carry forever."

It was funny to see him already talking like a men, when he wasn't yet. Well, his mind was set, so it was only a matter of time. And that time depended on when he told Elrond. Maedhros opened his mouth slightly, considering apologizing but deciding not to. It wasn't Elros's taste. Elros awkwardly squeezed and released his hand. Now that it was over, he didn't really need anything, and since he didn't need anything, he had nothing to give. There was nothing to say. Maedhros waved his hand.

"Well then, I'll go now."

"Good Bye. see…."

Elros awkwardly closed his mouth. Maedhros shook his head to keep himself from laughing and left the tent gate.

[avalost]

I think that, when everyone wakes up at the Elfsong each morning, Astarion is the first to throw open the shutters and let in the sunrise~

(view full size please!)

[willowjay07]

Alright, I know I’ve failed several deadlines since September alone, but I’m going to start posting the episodes on Halloween.

[nonsensical-pixels]

SYBOULETTE'S CANDY NURSERY CONVERTED TO THE SIMS 2 🍭

my previous conversions of syb's nursery sets can be found here: dreamy toddler 👶🏽| little dino 🐱‍🐉

hi everyone! @syboubou released their candy nursery set some time back in april to celebrate the release of ts4's growing together expansion pack, and i DESPERATELY wanted it for ts2! it's so, so adorable! so i did what i do, and almost two months later... here we are! i'm finally done converting the ENTIRE set! 🥳💃🏽

altogether there are 23 buy items, many of them functional, and 3 build assets: 2 wallpapers, 1 carpet floor. i'm immensely pleased with how it all turned out! it should pair well with my dreamy toddler conversions (linked above) and also my 4t2 conversion of madlen's kei baby care kit!

credits go to @syboubou for the amazing original set! it's simply perfection! 💝

there are two versions in the download below: a merged version, and an unmerged version. yes, the download is just THAT big. please pick only one! a collection file has also been prepared for convenience's sake.

DOWNLOAD: SFS | MF 🧁

keep reading below the cut to read what you need to read! and see what you need to see!

more previews

things to note

a readme.txt is also included in the download!

the changing table does not actually come with a bin. so unless you place the decorative trash bin next to it, your sims will be throwing their trash into the void.

the crib is unanimated. i tried my best but the mapping and the way the model was made simply would not accomodate any animations without looking even worse 😫

the dresser is just decor. i use the gussy up mod in my game so my sims rarely use wardrobes. plus, the original dresser's structure made it impossible to be animated 😅

the way that the playmat works in the previews above is actually as a rug. i made an invisible recolor of the sims 2 store playmat (included in the download) and layered it over the decorative one so that it's 'functional'! if you just want the playmat as a rug, you can delete this.

the toddler bed is cloned from @themediocresulk's toddler beds as pet beds so that it's less buggy and your toddlers can get in or out whenever you want them to! you may want to grab this mod so that they gain more motives.

items included

taken directly from that readme.txt.

buy mode:

Baby Shoes Box -> 318 polys, $49 Beehive Ceiling Lamp -> 900 polys, $99 Bookcase -> 489 polys, $249 Books -> 84 polys, $49 Cat Plushie -> 840 polys, $39 Changing Table -> 349 polys, $249 Cloud Rug -> 2 polys, $49 Crib -> 1788 polys, $399 Diapers Box -> 772 polys, $9 Dresser -> 76 polys, $699 Hanging Plant -> 506 polys, $19 High Chair -> 1048 polys, $249 Mirror -> 270 polys, $149 Ottoman -> 316 polys, $89 Playmat -> 1584 polys, $249 Potty -> 112 polys, $99 Rabbit Lamp -> 912 polys, $35 Rocking Egg Chair -> 1760 polys, $379 Shelves -> 168 polys, $89 Toddler Bed -> 1855 polys, $349 Toy Rattle -> 432 polys, $49 Trash Bin -> 222 polys, $39 Vanity Case -> 1436 polys, $29

build mode:

Floor Carpet -> 26 swatches, $1 Wallpaper Panelling Paint -> 56 swatches, $1 Wallpaper Panelling Pattern -> 32 swatches, $1

misc:

a recolor of the sims 2 store's baby dangle monster playmat is also included. if you want to use it, you'll need the original mesh from the store download.

phew, that was a LONG, but satisfying, post to write! i hope everyone enjoys these conversions as much as i do! i had a lot of fun making them 💝

have a lovely day simming everyone! don't be afraid to reach out to me if there's any issues with this download. though as always, keep in mind...

cheers ~ 🥂

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

Shits Annual Old Inventory Sale (oops this shoulda been done during spring)

So with the arrival of our foster dog, my executive dysfunction has FINALLY taken a critical hit, which means I can get working towards shit I've been trying to deal with since February!

(ie killing old inventory and designing/releasing new pieces)

Doing a 30% off sale for these prints that are either a) going to be taken fully out of rotation or b) going for a bit of sabbatical before I redesign them to look significantly cooler/up to scratch with my current abilities

When these bad boys are gone, they are GONE. If you dm me for custom requests to buy a dead print I'll do so for you but the general listing will die when inventory is out. I've hyperlinked the shop listings to their bolded titles.

First Paragraph of My Immortal - now I THOUGHT I'd purged my home of these prints LAST year but there are STILL FOUR STRAGGLER SETS LEFT that I found underneath some old renn faire gear in pristine condition so. Here they are. On sale. I wish to be free of my curse

Naval Seal Copypasta - Ahhh old friend, it has been a journey, for you are a meme of such tenure older than even the porn ban and one of my first designs, but today I free you. There are 2 copies of the first page only and 9 copies of the full three piece set remaining, I submit you to the void

Man Hook Hand Hook Car Door - To be honest, it's 2023 and this one has never been a super popular piece in the first place, and with 7 prints left I thought it best to let her go for the sake of space

Penis - I put wayyyyy too much hutzpah designing this piece in the first place and getting prints of it done cleanly were weirdly difficult, so I'm just gonna be cutting and running on this piece - props to anyone who can find allllll of the dong jokes I've tried to weave into the piece tho! There's 10 prints left, and out of those one is a weird and fucked up misprint with which i will be including a free sticker just for funsies

Limerick Rolled- This is a sabbatical one, I designed it years ago with MUCH less experience than I have today re: text spacing and would like to put her under a redesign. There are only 2 of these bad boys left, and I'll try to get her redesign up with all the others when I release 'em.

Do Good Recklessly - Another sabbatical design, I'd like to neaten this one out and rework the illumination a bit more cleanly. There's 8 prints left in my supplies, and I'll also try to get the redesign out with all the new print designs I've got planned for this summer

[blingblong55]

Funny Feeling -141

Photo credit: @ave661 (left)

A/N: König will be done in the next post, I'm sorry I couldn't add him to this one..

Not a request but my own need for this:

141&Konig find out (same time as you do) that you have PCOS. You of course are sad because of the fertility issues and all the problems this condition brings, but not to worry, your partner is here to help and uplift you.  ---- F!Reader, reader with pcos, fluff, angst, comfort, established!realtionship, tw: self worth issues ----

A/N: I needed comfort and well I figured you might too so.. here's this

"All the signs point to yes, the way you have given me a description and the tests we ran," the doctor breaks the news. "This can't be right? Maybe there was a mistake?" Your hand holding onto your husband's hand. "It's PCOS, ma'am." You shook your head. You read every article, and watched every video, and even though you said your signs must be for something else, here you are. 

"What does this mean for her?" your husband asks, knowing you are just trying to find yourself in the void you've been pushed to. "Well it can mean a lot of things, for example..." the doctor's voice fades. Your eyes are on that desk, the lighting of the room only making this news worse. Tears form in your eyes. What does this mean? No family, no picket fence, and Sunday walk with your kids. 

You wanted to cry and argue against the results but it's all there in that paper. Your heart breaks and you grip his hand again. 

The ride home was silent, he knew it was best this way. You thought of it all, the giggles, the drawings on the wall, the stained clothes, and the staying up late that you'll never get to do. 

"We're home," he mentions softly, his hand on yours again as you are lost in thought. All you can do is get out of the car and walk inside. You know it's wrong to push him away but it's the only thing that feels right. Your emotions are all over the place. You feel more disgusted with yourself. The hair that's growing on the chin and chest, the stupid periods you've missed, the weight gain, the way you look around and see everyone building your families and you, sitting in a bathroom, undressed as you look at the weight and wished you were 'better'. 

John Price: 

The first thing he does is leave you alone. He doesn't know how it feels, however, he knows that if he were in your place, he'd too need some time alone. He knows one thing, if the places were changed, you'd be doing something to make him cheer up, anything. "My love, I'm going out for a few minutes, you need me, I'm a phone call away." he kisses your forehead but when you refuse to let him kiss your soft skin, he sighs and walks away. 

They say, to be loved is to be known and he knows you all too well. So, he goes to every store in town, looks for that one book you've been looking for, and then, there it is, the flowers, the takeout and the one blanket you eyed for a little too long when shopping with him. 

Meanwhile, in the small bathroom, you lie down. Eyes on the ceiling as you feel yourself cry once more. Stupid, stupid, stupid body of mine. Why must this be your place? Why can't you give him the one chance at happiness? One kid at least, two at best and a stupid family dog that could be running around during family walks. 

"I hate you-"

"Love? Hey, open up, I'm home," he says as he knocks on the door of the bathroom. "Go away-"

"Not happening, open up my sweetheart, let me show you everything will be alright," his voice was so soft and gentle. 

Once he finally has you in his arms, guiding you to the cosy living room, he covers your eyes and smiles. "We'll talk about this all later but for now, let me release some stress."

"But-"

"Love, no. I'm not letting you think that just because of this condition you are less than any other woman out there. You are so much more than just someone who can give me children. You are this incredibly funny, smart and seriously kind person. You're my girl, nothing changes that, kids or not. Now, let's eat, watch some film I found and then, we'll stay up and talk about today." 

Simon Riley: 

You've been in the bedroom, looking at the pictures your siblings have sent you of your nieces and/or nephews. Their little giggles, the silly little things they do when they get annoyed when not solving a small puzzle. Tears form in your eyes. "Lovie, I got the bath- Lovie?" His voice was softer than ever. He recognizes that frown and the only thing he can do is walk to you, wrap his arms around you and give you a tight hug. His lips meet your forehead. "I feel broken like there is something very wrong with me," you confess as small tears fall. "You're not broken, lovie," he whispers. 

"Well, it feels like I am, everything is wrong with me, I feel disgusted with myself."

He shakes his head, "If there is one thing I've learned is that even if you feel like you are completely worthless, it's a temporary thing. At the end of the day, you are much more than being the one I have a family with. So what if we can't have sleepless nights? You're not here to just be a mother. And, if we want kids, I'm sure we'll adopt or maybe we can search for other stuff- the point here is, you are much more than serving as some womb for our kids." 

He kisses picks you up and carries you to the bathroom. "Now, let me take care of you, okay? You do it for me when I come home and it's time you get treated the same." 

One thing with him is that he shows you his true love, admiration and excitement with acts of service. He won't directly tell you all his emotions but his actions do tell you all you need to know. As you lay back on the tub, he grabs your hand and kisses it. "Everything will be alright, I promise you that much," he smiles and slowly scrubs your body, the feeling of the bubbles and warm water soothe you. 

Kyle Garrick: 

It's bizarre. The rain pitter-pattered against the windowpane as you sat curled up on the sofa, your thoughts a whirlwind of worry and frustration. Today had been one of those days where everything seemed to spiral out of control. To be diagnosed with this condition had hit you out of a tidal wave, and left you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about the future. Why must you be this way?

Kyle, your ever-supportive husband, noticed the heaviness in your demeanour the moment he stepped through the door. Droplets of rain clung to his jacket as he approached you, concern etched on his features. "Y/N, love, are you alright?" he asked softly, kneeling beside you. He knows you, that weak smile falters almost immediately. "It's a lot to take in," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. Kyle wraps his arms around you, pulling you close in a comforting embrace. "I know, darling. But you're not alone in this. We'll figure it out together, okay?" he murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. 

You nod, feeling the weight of his words anchor to the present moment. You lean into his warmth, finding solace in the familiar scent of his cologne mingled with the rain outside. 

For the rest of the evening, Kyle made it his mission to care for you in every way he could. He brewed your favourite herbal tea and fetched the cosy blanket to wrap you in it. He listened attentively as you, for so long, poured out your fears and frustrations. In between doubt, he offered words of reassurance. 

As the evening goes on, he notices how the weight of your diagnosis left you with a burden. He can see the sadness etched into your features, the worry lines creasing your forehead as you sit and stare into the distance. "Love, what's on your mind?" he asks softly, reaching out to gently squeeze your hand. 

You let out a heavy sigh, and your shoulders slump as you face him, "I just can't shake this feeling off, babe," you admit to him once more, that soft voice of yours tinged with sadness. "It's a lie no matter what I do, this stupid condition will always be a part of me." Tears well in your eyes. 

His heart aches at the sound of defeat in your voice, but he refuses to let your despair consume not just you but him as well. With a tender smile, he cups your cheek, brushing away the stray tear with his thumb. How can you tell someone you want to listen to and understand them? How can you show love for them when they can't even accept love for something they can't control?  

"Y/N, listen to me," he says firmly, his gaze unwavering. "This condition doesn't define you. It's just one part of who you are, love. And it certainly isn't your fault." 

You blink back tears, your throat tightening with emotion. "But it feels like...like I'm broken," your voice barely above a whisper. He shook his head, his expression softening with understanding. "You aren't broken, Y/N. Not even in the slightest," he insists, his voice laced with conviction. "You are this strong, beautiful and capable of so much more than you realise. And I will be here every step of the way, holding your hand through it all."

With that, Gaz pulls you into his arms, holding you close as if to shield you from pain. He presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, pouring all his love and reassurance into the simple gesture. At that moment, surrounded by his unwavering love and support, you felt a flicker of hope ignite in you. 

In the days that followed, he was your constant support and encouragement. He researched PCOS tirelessly, eager to understand your condition better and help you navigate the complexities. He accompanies you to doctor's appointments, holding your hand through every moment. He also made small challenges to not just your lifestyle but his. New healthier habits, medication, self-help books and moments of joy filled your life with him. 

John "Soap" MacTavish:

The soft glow of the bedside lamp, once you reach the bedroom, casts a warm ambience in the room as you sit on the edge of the bed, your mind clouded with worry and uncertainty. You stare blankly at the floor, thoughts consumed by this condition. It felt as though the world had turned upside down in an instant, leaving you lost and vulnerable. 

Johnny, your steadfast husband, watched you with concern from his place beside you. He could see the turmoil written in your eyes. Without a word, he reached out and gently took your hand in his, offering a silent anchor in this storm. 

You squeeze his hand tightly, seeking solace in the warmth of his touch. "What am I now, Johnny?" you confess. "It's like... everything I thought I knew about myself has been thrown into question."

Johnny's heart ached, he can't let you suffer alone, not like this. "You don't have to deal with this alone, bonnie," he kisses the top of your hand. "We're in this together, remember?"

You nod, eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I know, but... it's just so hard," your voice trembles with emotion. It's not love if they leave during something so hard, they say. It's unconditional love when they stay, I say. 

"I know it's hard, bonnie. But I also know how strong you are," he gives you a small smile. "You are much more than this diagnosis." It's beautiful, how in the middle of this heartache, he still gives you this funny yet warm feeling. "And I will be here every step of the way, supporting you, comforting you, and loving you with all that I am," he promises.  -----

A/N: If you have this, I'm always here, it's okay to sometimes rely on others. This isn't something to be ashamed about<3

Tags:

@shadofireshinobi @kit-kats06 @joyfulmarvelofavengers @luvecarson @hilmiponken @asgardswinter @141swhore @miscfandomwrites @itstrapbunnybubbles @rockcollector3000 @certifiedcodbabygirl @eicee @liyanahelena @theineandonlyidiot @johfaam0 @goldenmclaren @froggy-anon @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @frizzseaberries @istillcantfindausername @idklols @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @undercover-smutlover @juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @enarien @simonssweetgirl @willowaftxn83-87 @ikohniik @nobodys-coffee @strawberrychita @sae1kie @queen-ilmaree @pbcartii @llelannie @macnches2 @anonymuslydumb @avidreadee123 @talooolaaloolla @skelletonwitch @bittermajesties @nyx_flower @sparky--bunny @honestlyhiswife @who-can-appease-me @ghostwifeyy @konigssultwithghost @kaoyamamegami @the_royal_bee @soapybutt17 @a-goose-with-a-knife @foxface013 @thegreyjoyed @mychemicalimalance @marshiely @tuihiatus

[arvandus]

Obey Me: OG + NB Theory - Something's Fishy About Barbatos...

Look, I'm just gonna scream into the void and see if the void screams back cuz I'm hyperfixating and need to sleep. Sorry if this has been done before btw; I know OG has been out for forever and I’m finally catching up to everyone else… but humor me. 😅

I'm calling it now, OG lesson 80 and NB are CONNECTED.

(read more for length and OG spoilers)

This black crevasse thing isn't over, and NB is a continuation of that.

What makes me say that?? Because it's hinted at during the morning after interactions with Barbatos in Lesson 80-12.

To recap what happened at the end of OG, a dark crevasse was accidentally opened and Mammon, Levi, and Asmo were sucked in. Solomon called on Barbatos to save them and bring them back, and then seal the crevasse. Later, it's pointed out that while Solomon was strong enough to close the crevasse, he didn't have the ability to save the brothers. He used Barbatos and his time powers to save them.

Which MEANS that they were technically dead once they were sucked in, and Barbatos reversed their deaths using his time ability when he pulled them out.

Afterwards, Barbatos started having horrible headaches, and the brothers started to cease to exist - Levi turned invisible, no one could remember Mammon's name, and Asmo no longer had a reflection. By the end of it, when the group has opened a new dark crevasse and are trying to throw the magical item (the treasure chest) into the abyss to fix it, all three brothers are invisible, Levi can no longer touch solid objects, and Barbatos is barely clinging to consciousness.

Of course, the magic from the chest is released, it's sucked into the dark crevasse, the crevasse is sealed, etc. etc. The brothers are back to normal, and Barbatos's headaches are no more. It seems as if all's well that ends well...

OR IS IT?

We get to stay the night at the castle, and the next morning, Barbatos wakes us up. This is already suspicious, since it's pretty much implied that we went to bed with one of the brothers (Mammon, Beel, or Belphie). So the fact that Barbatos is waking us up for breakfast instead of whatever brother we selected to go to bed with...?? Weird. Normally, I'd expect Mammon to nag us awake, Belphie to still be in bed with us, and Beel to probably bring food to us in bed. But nope, we get Barbatos.

Sus. Very sus.

And for good reason. As it turns out, Barbatos is acting... different. There's so many ways I can dive into how exactly based on the different interaction options, but that will add too much length to this post, so I might make a separate one later.

Either way, he's definitely not quite acting himself. So much so, that we get a chance to point it out to him as a dialogue option regardless of what romantic/nonromantic option we chose prior:

I'll type it here for those who need it:

MC: Is it just me, or is something different about you? Barbatos: About me? No, I don't think... Barbatos: ...Wait. Actually, perhaps you're right.

Then he just proceeds to be like, "Okay, come meet us for breakfast! Toodles!"

Like?!?!

BRUH, YOU CAN'T JUST RESPOND LIKE THAT AND NOT EXPAND UPON IT???

It's not even the fact that he doesn't expand on it - that part is actually very normal for him. He's never one to tell more information than he wants. But I DID find it interesting that he straight up agrees/admits it to MC that something is different about him. AKA, we as the readers are SUPPOSED to notice this. It's important to the plot.

So, to recap, we know the following:

The brothers were sucked into the crevasse and essentially died as soon as they entered it

Barbatos saved them using his time abilities

Barbatos had SERIOUS consequences to doing so - really bad headaches, nearly incapacitated by the end of the finale, so much so that it was taking everything he had just to stay conscious with MC after they caught him. (This is MAJOR because he's always been so OP and invincible up to this point. Whatever this black crevasse power is, it's strong enough to bring him to his knees. Terrifying.)

Something is "different" about him afterwards, which he even acknowledges but doesn't expand on.

Whatever happened with that black crevasse impacted Barbatos. It did something to him. I'm not saying I know what that is, even though I have my theories (I'll save that for another post too). But I'm pretty damn sure this is going to tie into Nightbringer in some way. Barbatos has become a much more major character for the NB storyline, and there's a reason for it.

OG is the "fuck around" and NB is the "find out." Right now, we're finding out (...hopefully... if the writers can get their shit together).

(Also, as a side note, the idea of Nightbringer coming from the Dark Crevasse just tickles a part of my brain that I can't really describe.)

[nataliaromanovasworld]

A Soul for a Soul

Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader oneshot

Summary: During the events of endgame, you traded your soul for the soul stone after losing everything, your girlfriend Wanda, in the blip. However, when the avengers won, not having you there destroyed Wanda. Until, Natasha decides to trade her soul.

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist

Vormir 2018

You stand at the edge of the cliff, the wind howling like a distant cry for help. Vormir is as desolate as the emptiness you've been living with for five years. Natasha stands beside you, her jaw tight, while Clint keeps his gaze locked on the horizon, as if looking away from you would somehow make what you're about to do hurt less.

The soul stone lies just beyond the precipice, its power hidden in that endless chasm, and the only thing standing between you and it is the cost. A soul for a soul.

You never thought this would be your fate. Then again, you never thought Thanos would win either. Or that you'd lose Wanda. After all, Wanda was your world, and when she disintegrated in the Snap, everything you cared about turned to dust with her. The drinking came easily after that, an old coping mechanism that, this time, no one - not even Natasha - could pull you out of.

Five years. Five years of surviving, but not living. A hollow existence that ended here, on Vormir. A fitting end, you thought. You hadn't done enough to save Wanda then, but you could now - by helping bring her, and half of the universe, back.

"Don't do this." Natasha's voice is tight, breaking slightly. She grips your arm with a fierceness that mirrors the bond you've shared since childhood.

"Let me go Nat," you say, quietly, trying to sound resolute, but your voice is weaker than you want it to be.

Clint glances at you, then to Natasha. "We can find another way," he insists. "There's always another way."

But you shake your head. "No," you reply, stepping closer to the edge. "I don't have anything left to lose."

Natasha's hand tightens around your arm. "That's not true."

"It is," you whisper, eyes dropping to the stone at your feet. "Wanda... She's gone, Nat. I lost her, and I couldn't... I couldn't protect her. I couldn't save her. I failed her. I failed all of you."

"You didn't fail anyone," Natasha hisses, her voice trembling. "You think this is what Wanda would've wanted? For you to-"

"She's not here to tell me what she wants!" You yell, harsher than intended. The words slip through your gritted teeth, the rage, the grief, the guilt that's been rotting you from the inside out finally spilling over. "But I am," you say, quieter now, stepping even closer to the edge. The abyss beckons, like it's been waiting for you all along. "And I'm choosing this."

Natasha's eyes glisten. "You don't have to."

You smile, a bittersweet thing. "Yes I do."

Before she can protest again, you gently pull yourself from her grasp, give Clint a nod, and leap.

The fall feels like freedom, like release. The last thing you hear before the world fades away is Natasha's anguished scream.

The Afterlife, 2024

Death is not what you expected.

In the afterlife, there's no grand reunion, no peace. There's just you - waiting in an endless expanse of white, devoid of time, suspended in a purgatory that doesn't feel much different from how you'd been living before.

You still feel everything. The sorrow, the regret, the memories of Wanda, of Natasha, of the war you couldn't win. It plays like an endless loop in your mind. You'd hoped for peace, for the pain to fade, but no... here, it's sharper than ever.

But then, one day - or whatever passes for days here - you hear her voice.

"Get up."

You blink, startled, your heart racing in disbelief. It can't be.

"Nat?" You whisper, pushing yourself to your feet. She stands before you, her red hair glowing against the white void. She looks the same as she always did - strong, determined - but there's a new weight to her gaze, something dark and sorrowful.

Your eyes narrow. "What did you do?"

Natasha sighs, running a hand through her hair. "The same thing you did."

A chill runs through you. "No."

"Yes."

You step forward, anger bubbling to the surface. "You traded your soul? Are you - are you out of your mind? Why the hell would you do that?"

"For her," Natasha says, her voice steady, but her eyes glisten with unshed tears. "For Wanda."

The mention of her name sends a jolt of pain through you. You turn away, fists clenched. "You shouldn't have done that. I'm the one who needed to-"

"You were dead," Natasha interrupts, stepping closer. "You weren't there to see what happened to her. She needed you, and I... I tried, but I couldn't save her. And now..." Her voice breaks. "Now she's lost, completely lost, and the only thing that can pull her back is you."

You freeze, your heart pounding. "What do you mean, lost?"

"She's... she's created a reality," Natasha explains, her voice low, shaky. "A place called Westview. It's all an illusion, a perfect world where you never died, where Pietro is still alive, and... and where she has everything she's lost. But it's tearing her apart. She's breaking, and I can't stop it. I couldn't reach her. Only you can."

Your chest tightens, emotions swirling inside you - fear, guilt, anger, love. "She's alive?"

Natasha nods. "But she's not herself, not anymore."

You stumble back, rubbing your hands over your face, trying to wrap your mind around it all. You died to bring everyone back, to give Wanda her life back - and now... this.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" you snap, guilt seeping through your words. You can't believe it - Wanda, alive but trapped in her own grief, and you were just... here. Waiting.

Natasha looks at you with a mixture of pity and resolve. "Because I wasn't going to let you give up again. You need to fight for her now."

You stare at her, your mind spinning. "I... I can't. She won't even recognise me."

"Yes she will," Natasha insists. "She's been waiting for you."

You shake your head. "I'm dead Nat."

"Not anymore."

The air around you seems to shift, the whiteness swirling into shades of grey. Natasha steps closer, her hands on your shoulders. "I'm not coming back from this. You are."

Tears prick your eyes. "I can't... I can't lose you too."

She smiles sadly. "You already did sestra." Her hands tighten on your shoulders, grounding you. "I love you Nugget. Always have. But Wanda... Wanda's your family now. She needs you, more than I ever could."

You want to argue, to tell her she's wrong, that she's your sister, that you still need her, but the words get stuck in your throat. The light around her is dimming, her presence slipping away.

"Take care of her," Natasha whispers.

Before you can speak again, everything fades to black.

Westview, 2024

When you wake, it's in the middle of a street lined with quaint suburban houses. Westview.

The air hums with energy, with something unnatural, and as you rise to your feet, the first thing you feel is her.

Wanda.

She's close - closer than she's been in years. Your heart aches, your pulse quickening at the familiar sensation of her presence. The bond you once shared hasn't diminished with death; if anything, it's stronger now.

You take a deep breath and follow the pull, your legs moving on instinct. The town around you feels strange, almost too perfect, like you're walking through a TV set. People wave at you, smiling, going about their day as if nothing is wrong, but you can sense the cracks in the facade. The tension, the undercurrent of fear.

And then, you see her.

Wanda stands at the end of the street, cradling two small children in her arms. Her dark hair spills over her shoulders, her face serene but... off, as though the smile she wears is too forced, too fragile.

Your breath catches in your throat as you step closer.

"Wanda?" you whisper.

Her head snaps up, and for a moment, she looks at you like she's seeing a ghost. Maybe she is. Her eyes widen, the children in her arms forgotten as they run off to play.

You take another step. "It's me."

Her lips part, trembling. "You..."

Tears fill her eyes, and she stumbles toward you, her hands reaching out like she needs to touch you to know you're real.

You catch her as she falls into you, her fingers gripping your jacket like a lifeline. "You're... you're dead. You died," she whispers, her voice trembling with disbelief and hope and fear all at once.

"I did," you murmur, wrapping your arms around her, holding her as tightly as you can. "But I'm here now."

Wanda pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, her hands cupping your face, trembling. "How?"

You exhale slowly. "Natasha."

Her breath catches in her throat, her eyes widening with realisation, and then they close, her face contorting in pain. "No..." she whispers. "She didn't..."

"She did." You take her hands in yours, squeezing them gently. "A soul for a soul."

Wanda's tears spill over, and she shakes her head. "I didn't want this," she sobs, her voice breaking. "I just wanted you back."

"I know," you say softly. "I know."

She pulls away, pacing back and forth as her grief morphs into something darker, something more volatile. "I couldn't... I couldn't lose you again. I couldn't lose him again," she cries, her voice rising with each word. "Everything I loved was taken from me."

"I know, Wanda," You repeat, stepping toward her. "But this... this isn't the way."

Her magic flares, the scarlet energy crackling at her fingertips. "What am I supposed to do?" she demands, her voice desperate, eyes wild. "I had nothing left. I needed this - I needed you."

You take her hands again, ignoring the magic pulsing through her, and pull her into your arms. "You don't need to live in this world. Not anymore. I'm here now. I'm real. And I'm not going anywhere."

She buries her face in your chest,

her shoulders shaking with sobs. You hold her, whispering soft reassurances, letting her grief and pain flow through you. It’s overwhelming, all-consuming, but you don’t let go.

After a while, her magic begins to fade, the energy in the air softening. The illusion around you—the perfect world she created—starts to flicker.

"I can’t keep doing this," she whispers, her voice hoarse.

"You don’t have to," you murmur into her hair. "We’ll figure it out together."

She looks up at you, her red-rimmed eyes filled with so much sorrow, so much love. "Promise?"

You smile softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I promise."

And for the first time in years, you feel like you’re home.

[dreadpirateella]

uhhhh so I couldn't wait and finished The Neon Void... AND I HAVE THOUGHTS

putting a cut here bc this is gonna be loooong

and spoilers for all of Neon Void ofc

Dude ok just the writing in this?? This fic is SO well written like omg. All of the action scenes come across SO well, and as someone who can't write a fight scene to save my life, I just really appreciate that. Everything is so easy to follow.

AND THE DIALOGUE???? SO perfect omg. Everything felt so in character like this could be a whole season of the show. The way Leo's hysteria is written is just so crazy and so incredible. Like it's so clear that he's losing his mind but also so clear that he's still Leo. I'm just in love with it

and the looming threat of the Krang parasite?? Such a good like consistent villain. You can never go too long without remembering its presence and realizing what a massive threat it is!

The miscommunication between Leo and everyone else about what he plans to do with the key is also just incredible. The way they thought he was so far gone as to use it to release the Krang? That's just so heartbreaking.

AND THE REVEAL???? I just need to talk about it like genuinely it's SO well done. It feels a little out of nowhere (/pos!!!) and I really think it works bc it just totally catches everyone by surprise. Leo not even realizing that he's exposed until a few seconds pass it just perfect. Wondering why his entire family is staring at him like that and then realizing that they know is just *chefs kiss*

I LOVE everyone's anger when Void messed with Leo's stuff. Him stealing Donnie's bracelet and messing up his room, like you can feel the anger from the rest of the family and it's SO good.

also side note??? Mikey cutting Leo's arm off??? freaking awesome I LOVE when Mikey gets to go crazy

The emotions in this fic are just SO palpable. Like I felt the grief and heartache and confusion and anger radiating off of these characters through my screen. Every chapter is just so soaked with emotion it's freaking incredible. The writing in this fic is just phenomenal.

The brother's ninpo calming down and comforting Leo is also just such a good little repeated detail. Leo finally being able to contact his ancestors because he's back with his family once again is just SO good and so sweet. Karai is the most comforting presence known to man 😭

AND FUTURE LEO AT THE END???? was NOT expecting that I love it so dang much. Everyone in Leo's little mindscape journey at the end just yelling at him to go back to his family is just so so so sweet to read. And Leo's decision when he destroyed the key to stay with his family was just so beautiful. It just felt so right.

And everyone's reactions to every situation just feel so natural!!! I was reading it and something would happen and I'd be like of course that's how they'd respond to that! All of the Hamatos having that realization hit them that yes this is Leo and yes he's actually here is just so bittersweet to read. Knowing they grieved for FIVE years and now here he is right in front of them. It's just so emotional

I'm definitely gonna have more thoughts about this as more time passes so maybe expect more rambles?? and maybe some fanart too!!! Void's design is just too cool not to draw.

This fic sent me on a roller-coaster of emotions and I couldn't be more thankful for it. Thank you SO MUCH @sugarpasteltmnt for writing and sharing this incredible piece of art with all of us. You're incredible.

TLDR: I'm in love with this fic please go read it I'm gonna think about it for the rest of my life

[cloud-flowers]

How I Think You Could Possibly Beat OB! Malleus

Note: I am in the eng server in Twst and so far only part two has been released. I have seen some spoilers for the book before it was released in english, and few posts about battles. This is a theory and I'm so so sorry if someone has already done this.

Possible Battle Info:

In the first battle which we fight Malleus, his HP is 300,000. He also heals himself every turn, is immune to damage on even numbered turns, and does between around 5000-8000 damage each hit. His element is void.

This theory is on the assumption that for the final time we fight him, he IS actually beatable with the same stats excluding the healing every turn.

Also, I saw a post once where he does 30,000 damage on the second turn? Don't know if that was the final battle if it was released in the JP server.

Also, no idea which battle it was with Overblot Malleus, but someone got up to 10 and/or 15 turns with him.

Our (player) Cards:

You can get around 60,000+ HP depending on the cards you have. Fully maxed out cards and spell levels will get you between around 10,000-20,000 damage depending if the spell is weak damage or strong damage.

With duo magic, you can get up to 20,000-30,000 damage.

Possible Math Part: HP/ATK = Turns

300,000/30,000 = 10

300,000/20,000 = 15

300,000/15,000 = 20

Could be Conclusion:

You need a team with consistent buddies. Heartslabyul cards usually buddy with each other, so that's a good example of a team.

Event cards buddy with different people than the ones they buddy with in the dorm uniform. For example, Dorm Ace buddies with Deuce, but Suitor Suit Ace buddies with Riddle.

You can have cards that buddy with each other back to back, for example; Dorm Leona and Vil buddy with each other

Or cards that have different buddies, usually event cards, for example; Applepom Epel buddies with Idia, but Dorm Idia buddies with Ortho.

You also need to last probably longer than 10 turns, and have your team maxed out on levels and spells.

Uncapping should also help with the spell levels for HP and attack power.

--

I have no idea if this has a chance or this is unrelative and far out the window. Feel free to comment anything I missed or am wrong about

:)

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Shang Tsung x Witch Reader: I've Changed

Context: After finally escaping the void, Shang slips from supervision briefly to meet and request the help of an old friend. (Shaky ass friendship ngl) ~~~~~~~~~~~~ The old wooden clock on the wall ticks, filling the only sound in the empty shop. The short hand lines with the tenth hour, making you relieved to flip your sign close. Another easy day done at your little potion store. Despite the little shack being a bit older and you get few customers each day, you were always proud of your progress.

You were proud to say you changed, once a typical barbaric witch, anew to a positive person. You stopped damning people with cruel spells and toxic potions, now you sold mostly healing/soothing ones, along giving spare lessons to those who wish to learn witchcraft. Sometimes, it's the other way around. There's always new things to learn.

Sweeping the dust off the creaking floorboards, you were startled as you were about to trip over a black ball of fur. "Oh- Raven! Jeez, I didn't see you." A meow was in response, your kitten peeking up at you, the only eye he has shining.

Gently you shooed him away so you could finish sweeping. "I'll give you a snack once I'm done, go on now." You tapped his bottom and chuckle when he runs off.

The welcome chimes of your door ring, abruptly distracting you. "Store's closed!" You groan out. Ugh, can't they see the sign? You kept your thoughts to yourself.

Slow footsteps sounded closer to you. "My, just look at you." That voice! You peer up to see an old face, literally and figuratively. Your hand released the ratchet broom, letting it hit the floor. You felt some sort of nostalgia, yet confusion. "Shang Tsung? All these years... where have you been?" You step closer to him.

The old man explains. His disappearance was caused by the Titaness Kronika after having no use for him any longer, casted outside the realms in some prison. All those years in his absence, you missed him prior to your change, but now he's here. The sorcerer grabs your hand, kissing it gently. One of his ways on showing affection to you when you both were still a duo of despair. "You've aged well." He comments.

Now, he focuses on the old shop. "So while I was missing, you put your devotion into this worn down hut?" The sorcerer asks. You can hear the hidden mockery in his voice. He looks at the potions on the shelves, and you knew he would find them comical. None of them were labelled poison or dangerous, all such themed beneficial items. Part of him was worried you would go soft.

"Yeah, business is well." You state, defending your dignity. "The store's closed, and I still have errands tonight, so I can't quite catch up with you at the mome-"

"I came here for your help, Y/n." Shang Tsung interrupts. Picking up a pinkish elixir, he glances at you with tease. "Love potions?"

"That's for serotonin releases." You remove the bottle from his distrustful hands. You knew he's joking, but it's distasteful. "Love potions are vile. It's no better than going to a bar and spiking someone's drink." You explain in disgust, yet Shang still carries his smirk.

He hasn't changed, of course. I miss him, but I need him to leave. "What do you need?"

"I need your spells, your power, Y/n. The ones that always brought great suffering to those. But great amusement to us." He rubs his gray beard as he requests apathetically. "I plan to keep working with Raiden and Fujin up to Kronika's Keep. If everything goes as my plan, I can rule over many worlds. We can rule over many worlds."

"No." You shake your head immediately. "I'm past all of that. I use my powers and knowledge for good now and I hope that is something you respect. Feel free to do whatever you like, but count me out."

The man is unsurprise, but presses on with you. "Changed for the better? What happened to you?"

"I found faith in the Elder Gods." You shrug. "Along with that, I feel disgusted with my former self. Not that you'd get it, but all those people we hurt..." You cringed and turn away from him in utter shame.

"I assume you're disgusted with me too?" Shang asks.

"Well, yeah, but it's not like you'd stop. And I can't stop you neither."

He agrees with you. Harming others was like his number one hobby other than evil schemes. But if you really have a change in heart, he wouldn't force you. "It saddens me to see that wicked heart turn gold. Oh well. When I get Kronika's throne to myself, I'll have your place beside me - if you want." He offers, circling you with his charming glance. You gave him an annoyed look like he didn't actually heed you.

"You don't have to hurt anyone." He raises his hands. "But you could end up the best enchantress across universes, or better yet, a titaness beside me."

"No, sorcerer." You sigh and deny him again. "I'm happy here. You're my friend, but I don't think I'd be comfortable on the side of a villain. It's fine enough if I just focus on my own thing."

"Very well." He steps back and bows. "I shall be going now before someone notices my disappearance. After my goals, I will return to you just for friendly measures. We didn't speak for a long period after all."

"Okay." A huge part of you wasn't rooting for it, but you were fine with chatting with a friend time to time. "And if you don't and end up fading out of existence, it was always nice having you - minus the malicious activities."

"Likewise, my friend. You were always a fantastic woman." ~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N for both Wattpad/Tumblr. Mostly just a vent but:

 1. I feel the writer's block coming :') future writings are expected to have less quality as I'm running out of ideas and motivation. I literally had to go back to posting every 6 days instead of 3 so I don't end up running out of posts.

2. A friendly reminder - I'M NOT TAKING REQUESTS.

 Not trying to pick at anyone but there's 2 places on both Wattpad + Tumblr that says I'm not doing request, yet people will still request a fic. I admit, I will leave those on read until they message me more times which makes me more annoyed. 

I'm down for fun questions/ discussions when I have the time, like if someone wants to talk about our lord and savior, Fujin. But I repeat one last time, I'm not making fics for anyone. You have better authors that will be happy to write for you.

[ladykailitha]

Posting Schedule and Story Update

I know, I know I don't have a posting schedule, not really. At least in terms of what gets published when, only the days of the week stuff gets posted.

Well for the next four weeks there will be one:

Never Hold Back Your Step...- Sundays

Well Met By Moonlight- Tuesdays

Icarus- Thursdays

Special- Saturdays*

But I'm also getting worryingly low on my backlog (like I'm about dip into single digit range) and I hate having it that low.

So what I usually do is take a week or so off posting and build it back up. And I would normally take the week of my birthday off (Aug 14) to play catch up, but...

Yeah, I'm planning on posting the final chapter of Well Met By Moonlight (werewolf Steve) on the 13th. One year after it's release and since I'm releasing on that day, it doesn't make sense to only post that day and none of the rest of the week.

Also depending on what I am doing on the 14th (as whether or not my husband works) will decide whether or not I'm doing WIP Wednesday that day because if I'm not really doing anything, than I would prefer hanging out with you guys and writing. But I'll keep you posted the closer that gets.

But if he does have it off, I'll take it off and have two days the next week to make up for it. It would also be that week that I would take off posting and probably the next week as well. It depends on how much I get done.

But here's the exciting part, during this time between now and Aug 18th I will continue to work on the exotic club one and will have a ton of fun chapters to share when I get back from my break.

I will still be doing WIP Wednesdays and posting ideas and meta and headcanons and all that fun stuff. And maybe some fun polls too.

Also it is looking like "Never Hold Back Your Step..." (boy w/a bat) will be only 17 chapters long (maybe only 16 depending on how much of the Mind Flayer fight I put in it). I'm hoping it'll be only 16 really so that it can end the same week as Well Met.

I think a lot of people are hoping for their favorite parts of season 3, but this story was never meant to re-write canon. It was just meant to look into the idea that Eddie picked Steve up as a lost sheepie between season 2 and 3. Something that at the time there wasn't a lot of.

We'll see.

But expect to see me start posting again on Sept 1st for sure or on Aug 25th, if I have a really good week. And I'll be kicking it off the exotic dancer one, which I'm really excited for.

*Sir Steve, Knight Protectorate will be finished this Saturday. Leaving the Caged Bird Still Sings (sugar baby!Steve/sugar daddy!Eddie) to take its posting slot on Saturdays.

Tagging my permanent list to make sure everyone who needs to see this can.

1-@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[theeternalwombtarot]

messages from someone who let go of you

message: I’m so obsessed with my tarot table set up that I couldn’t help but share it with you guys. I felt pulled to do a message from people who may have left you behind or moved on from you. This message is meant for those of you who have somewhat moved on or are somewhat far removed. You may have distant memories or have thoughts of this person still that feel somewhat against you or random due to so much time having passed or your life having changed so much since then. I keep hearing “I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend, it’s not what he’s for made for.” From Billie’s song, I don’t remember what it’s called, “what was I made for?” I was so unprepared to come out here and read tarot that my phone is at 20% but I came out and lit up all my candles anyways and sat down at my table. This will be a channeled message, directly from them to you. Enjoy.

***

i.

"I'm not real sure where I'm going or what's left of me to do now. I feel as though I've done everything I said I would or put myself in the position to receive everything I possibly could, I feel like I've obtained and had everything there is for me to have and yet, there's this emptiness. I'd like to say that I would equate the loss of you to the emptiness I feel but to say the loss of you would not fully encapsulate the responsibility I carry for not being there and leaving you more times than we can count on all ten of our fingers put together. I still like to tell myself and others that it was not a big deal, that the loss of you, of us, was not a big deal. I will find a way to minimize anything and everything that means all of anything to me in order to hide the fact that it is so painfully important and you know this already. I am not ignorant to the reality of the situation, the loss, and my behavior. I know better I just couldn't do better. Since you've been gone, things have not been any less chaotic or trivial. Your absence leaves hard lessons here that I could not foresee while you were here. I keep saying since you've been gone, or since you've left, or in your absence because it feels as though you've left me, I may have left you plenty in spirit, I may have left a void within you so frequently that at some point you did leave.

you left me with no choice but to pick up and leave. I've been forced to carry all my bags and pull all my karma up the hill all by myself now that you're gone and life has thrown at me lesson after lesson. I do not know where life will take me or what's in store for me or what else there is for me to have now that what I would've really wanted has voluntarily bowed out of my life and left only tower moments and lessons. I cannot get over the way that it feels for justice to have finally come for you and served you right after all this time of me not being able to deliver it to you myself. I find myself brought to tears or battling excessive bouts of emotion behind you not being here and I have nobody to cry to and nobody to blame but myself. I am trying to let go, I am trying to release what is no longer a reality for me any longer. You.

I lost such a massive opportunity for my own fulfillment when you walked out the door. I hated to see your back to me I hated to see you go but I understand that you were tired and I understand that all my time I spent fearing your abandonment I manifested such a reality for myself by being afraid. All the pushing I did, all the damage I did, all the hurt and destruction I caused being someone whose shadow eclipsed them because I let it. Now, all I've been doing is trying to heal and trying to do the inner work like you told me so many times, all that time ago. I feel as though my future leads nowhere now truly, I may have felt that way when you were around but even throughout all my hopelessness and hardship, I always thought I'd find my way to you in the end and now that you're not here there lies no reward.

***

ii.

I've learned so much now that I am away, many things make sense to me that didn't before, I see things so much clearer than I had previously. There is so much within this world, on this plane of existence for me, for us, to see and understand. My departure was necessary however sudden or abrupt, everything I've done I've done for love and there is never a lack of purpose behind my actions and I wish so badly that I had the ability to tell you all these things directly, for some reason, unbeknownst to me, my heart aches. I still think of you however far removed I may be, I still think of you no matter what it may seem like, I still think of you despite my wish not to. I am not heartbroken nor am I half of a whole. I am in my power, I am willing and able to reach towards all horizons and create the life I had deserved for myself all along that you could not give me despite all my time spent sitting idle waiting for you. Please do not mistake my willingness to come through and communicate as me being truly unhappy or ungrounded, I am not. I have returned home to myself and wherever I go, whomever I am with, and however much I change I will always reside here.

I have discovered things within this life and within this realm that I thought for many years and even before you that I could not have and now I have them. So I am not unhappy or discontented, but, you are not gone from my heart and from my mind despite how much I've grown and despite how much I've discovered myself to have. I do not love you the way I used to and so at times I do find myself plagued solely with confusion as to why at random moments I find myself thinking of you. I have proved to myself that I could have the whole entire world within the palms of my hands but I carry with me a secret and that is you. I build high walls of my kingdom around the memorial that is your absence in my life. And when things fall away and succumb to time and go back to the earth from which they came, we remember them and we pay careful attention not to disturb them, we let bygones be bygones. Your essence is with me, you are here in spirit but I refuse to trudge up what's passed gone back up again simply because I have the capacity to remember.

because you are not here and because we share the connection that we share or had once what we had, there is a part of me that lies within me that sometimes is confused or or feels clueless about what the rest of my life will look like without you, whether or not I will always remember, whether or not the small memorial you have within my spirit will be given a mural, whether or not even in deep and aligned partnership and connection I will find myself wondering where you are. I store your heart within mine. Sometimes, even if I am not heartbroken or paralyzed with loss I become frustrated or angry because I can't bring myself to understand what lies ahead of me through what I have holding within me now, these memories. But, where I am afraid, or angry, or confused I show myself mercy and grace. I say to myself, "What meant something to us once is not always easily forgotten." Before I left you behind and found the strength within myself to do so, I feared deeply that without you I would find myself alone eternally, I still feel to some extent that that might even be a possibility but the difference is I do not fear it this time. I will be brave, I will not live my life paralyzed by possibility and I will do my darndest to give myself everything I needed and was ever owed.

And I will never be angry that it does not include you if I find that it does not. There is no sentence more immeasurable than a lifetime so I will do only what I can do and make it a good one and leave everything else up to be decided to spirit.

***

iii.

I think of you and the way I walked away frequently. You were a piece of a revealing story. You proved that I was struggling, you proved that I had deeply rooted things I refused to dig through or acknowledge, you proved my actions were detrimental, that my shadow is large and looming. I attempt to run from myself every single day from the second I rise in the morning to the moment my head hits the pillow. To see yourself clearly in the mirror when you've done so much to obstruct the reflection is misery. My spirit yearns for healing and for me to answer to its wailing but I don't like the sound. I have to hear it all the same anyway even If I don't like it, your absence has left my ears ringing, I feel like the truth of my reflection is being pulled out of me in knots. I'm at a loss for words, I find myself feeling as though in my ways, I've cheated myself out of an opportunity that was you. I feel like I have no plan in store for me like I've been stranded on an island with only myself to talk to. I can't see myself having anything fulfilling without you being here, everything I build I knock down, everything I find my grip around slips right through my fingers.

I've been working so hard to dress myself up, to make myself look dazzling and shiny and new just as something I would reach for regardless of it not being gold, but, my old way of doing things is no longer working. There is no void so deep. there is nothing left to do but wade in the marsh that is the consequence of my own actions and I am afraid. I know that you cannot hear me over the sound of your joy and the sound of heavenly support but I wish that you could. The second I could not reach you any longer the fabric I'd sewn made from whatever I told myself at night and whatever I felt I could've had had been ripped from beneath me. I am angry because I feel that what I have reaped is unfair. I have made no progress where true progress lies, I feel disappointed and displeased. Whatever I've found myself having, worldly or in spirit is not enough. Your wrath is hellish and you've not even lifted a finger.

If I were to speak to you in the flesh, I would still find myself lying, seething as if what I've received is unfair, and hiding behind ego because it is all I have to offer at this time. I have not changed, I don't know that I am capable. Please have mercy on me. Please forgive me. I have a tendency to look at you almost religiously, if God lived on earth beside us, he/she would be you. I'm far removed from spirit, I do not know how to pray, I do not hear their messages, I do not know my way, and you, a beacon of light, have left. I'm trying to let go, I'm trying to teach myself to see things differently, I am trying to do or find something. And after all of this, If I were to speak to you, you would show me some grace, you would still wish me well, you would still want the best for me or want me to turn inwards and heal. All I want all the time is your blessing. It has taken everything in me not to turn up on your doorstep as I feel I've been exiled. Every time I've washed up unannounced or without your permission both in the physical and in the astral was a call for help, to let you know that my shadow is looking straight at me and there is nothing I can do about it.

All I have to say now is that you were right about everything and what I have received I am owed and what is fair is fair. I hope that you are free and I hope for my own.

***

Do I even wanna post this?? Please, all I can think is GIRL, WHAT IS THIS??? I know I’m the one who wrote it but when I’m channeling it never feels as though it’s coming directly from me, I’m only a vessel at that point, the only credit I feel I can take in the moment is the fact that it is my fingers who is typing it. If you’re an intuitive or a reader of some sort you know exactly what I’m talking about but these messages are so dramatic. While writing them the part of me that was present was like “oh please! 🙄✋🏾 pack it up!!” But anyways, let me post it before I chicken out.

[robyese3]

K. I'm writing this into the void but I have nobody to talk bridgerton to. I blow the dust off my Tumblr to rant. Season 3. Here we go

PT. 1

Trash. All four episodes could have honestly been condensed to one, maaaaybe two to compensate for all the side plots. It did nothing to redeem Penelope.

It did however make me love Cressida, and further convinced me Eloise is queer. That said - Claudia Jessie so far has had chemistry with every single person (Benedict, Penelope, Cressida, Theo). Maybe it's just her. Philip was cardboard though so... We'll see if she can rescue that.

Why would the wig department do my boy Colin like that? Dirtyyy.

Francesca is GORGEOUS. She does look older than Daphne and Eloise, but I don't even care. Stunning. And John is a button.

Where did Luke and Nicola's chemistry go?!

KANTHONY. Only redeeming factor, and not enough of them.

What happened to Debling? Why wouldn't they just have HIM marry Cressida???? Like...?? It would have been perfect.

I love the Mondrich's story line - why is everyone hating? I do agree that it would have been a great way to reintroduce the Duke into the story though. Kinda mentor them through it. I get Rege-Jean wanted out but like... Recast it?

PT 2

Ahhh there is their chemistry. Found it.

I am HERE for mama Featherignton's redemption arc. Only works because she seems genuinely remorseful.

Incredibly disappointed with the Cressida storyline. Just wrecked a really dynamic story. Ruined Eloise's character growth (which she desperately needs) and just undid the awesome set up from pt 1. Felt so wasteful, unnecessary, and sad.

Most of the sex scenes were hot as hell but there was one (I don't remember which) was kinda awkward getting off the ground. They were like... Talking too much? Haha

Daphne not being there for Colin NOR Francesca's wedding? Yeah right. Get your casting contracts figured out bridgerton! This family can't be this close and just be missing major events. Would never happen. Lock them actors in from day 1.

I felt like Colin's arc from finding out to supporting her was really vulnerable, realistic, and well done. He was hurt and angry, but never stopped loving her. Just needed to process and he defended her tooth and nail despite knowing she didn't want to quit it. Good job kiddo.

Ok does Benedict do ANYTHING else but fvck? So grateful they finally admitted he's queer. And I wish they would have gotten to that part of his development in pt 1 so we could see him navigating it more.

When Colin said he had to talk to Benedict about getting the money, and implying that Benedict has some responsibility in the family with Anthony's absence - that was the biggest character development for him outside of his sexuality.

Philippa has NOT gotten enough screentime during this series. How are we just seeing how delightful she is now?!

Part 2 did such a better job at redeeming Penelope. I drank the Kool aid, back on team Penelope. Wrecked Eloise though. Sorry girl. Be better.

Michaela Sterling. Was kinda digging the "soft" love, and autistic thing that was circling the Internet so I was a little disappointed to see that all it was is that she's actually not attracted to him (knew the second they kissed haha). BUT the actress is stunning and I'm intrigued on how they'll develop Francesca's yearning for children with the queer storyline.

I would have loved for another King George cameo. Or just an update on his health, idk. Anything.

All in all, this show could do with adding another episode or two to it's roster and figuring out their pacing earlier on ESPECIALLY if you're going to be splitting the season. And even more so, if you're going to be juggling 82 different storylines.

If we're slowly shifting back to traditional tv practices (weekly releases episodes, commercials, etc), let the next thing be a full episode count. Done with this single digit amount episode. Order at least 10-12 episodes!

[mamuzzy]

"Cin Vhetin." The small silence indicated, Dogma had no idea what Commander Fox just said and felt shame. Lack of knowledge never was an excuse during exams, and proved to be deadly on the battlefield. But Fox's eyes gazed him as if he was waited for an answer - patiently as ever with him -, at least he could be professional even if it caused dissappointment to his Commander. "I… I don't understand, sir" said sheepishly, face flushed, eyes to the ground. "Eyes up, Dogma. Look at me." Dogma instantly straightened, clicked his heels like a good soldier he was. "Yes, sir!" Fox let out a small chuckle. "Cin Vhetin" repeated. "It means 'White field', ground covered with fresh, virgin snow. From this point, no matter what happened in the past, no matter what have you done, what choices you have made, your footsteps you are about to take will not leave traces of your old self. Because from now on, you are a new person and your journey once again starts with new posibilities, new challenges, and of course, new mistakes to be made." Dogma's eyes widened as tried to find understanding in Fox's words. He wanted to trust. He wanted to believe it was possible to start over, to erase his past. He couldn't have been able to do this at the 501st, but here, at the Coruscant Guard, was it really an option? "Commander, sir, I don't want to repeat my mistakes." "Then don't" said Fox, just like that. "Thrive for the better." "What if I choose wrong again?" Dogma looked pleadingly at Fox to answer the thousands of what ifs that filled his aching heart and racing mind. "What if I put you in danger too because... because the way I am?" "Dogma, remember" Fox reached out to gently grab Dogma's shoulder to ground him. "You are not alone. I - WE - will guide you. We are here for you to help you through your first steps and beyond too. We won't let your hand, understand? But you have to start to take that first step on the white field: to finally forgive yourself." A familiar feeling stinged the corners of Dogma's eyes. The pressure what tormented him for weeks since he was out of his cell just released in a form of tears. "Understood, sir." "Will you try that for me?" "Yes, sir" he nodded with a stifled sniff. Fox smiled at him. "Good man."

I went with soft words of reassurance! Aaaaa, I'm sorry @persephoneofhades, when I tried to save your ask as a draft, the whole thing went missing into the void along with your message. .__. Thank you for the prompt, your patience, and I hope you like it! <3

First I had an idea that I draw him with Rex but it just didn't work. I can totally imagine that Rex praises his men randomly with an occasional "good job!" and such but to express reassurance on personal level to whom he isn't close to? I don't think so. So I decided it will be Corrie!Dogma and Fox.

I love Dogma. Precious baby boy. And I love corrie!Dogma too. Wether he was secretly snatched out of the prison or Fox and Rex remained good brothers to come up with a plan about discreetly integrating Dogma into the CG, I really love the AUs where he gets a chance to redeem himself and find a family he can bond with and learn the true meaning of having brothers to watch your back.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

hiiiiiii hellooooooo!! can i request part 2 of start over : rindou x reader? i love it so much! i wanna know what happen after rindou comes home. what will happen to reader? does he treat reader good after the argument. or reader get treated even worse than before? and i would like to know what will reader do next. will she stay with rindou, or leave him? or maybe rindou realizes his mistake and changes? i hope u have a nice day! and sorry for my bad English :)) <3

Done done and done!

Start Over (Part 2): Rindou Haitani x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.4k

tw: smut, angst, drugs

masterlist

Thunk, thunk, thunk, thunk.

The table in the foyer thumps against the wall as Rindou grips your hips and fucks into you from behind.

Thunk, thunk, thunk. "Fuck..."

If you were to look up, you'd see your reflection: tired, eyelids dropping, hair wrapped around your husband's hand. And Rindou would look back at you with his soulless eyes, each supporting two black holes willing to swallow you whole.

Thunk... thunk...

"Ah," Rindou hisses, baring his teeth as he cums inside you. The rattling of the table stops, and Rindou's hand releases your hair slowly. He says nothing as he pulls out, leaving you dripping on the freshly-cleaned tile floor. He zips up, smooths his hair, and straightens his jacket.

"I'll be back home at seven."

You press your hands against your forehead and remain bent over at the waist, knuckles turning stark white as your fingers ball into fists. You can't hear the door shut over the incessant ringing in your ears or the shame flooding your brain. You don't even feel anything anymore. It's just you in that damned prison, cum sliding down your thighs as Rindou makes his way toward his job, and you remember your place in his house as his wife.

You only move from your position when you remember the maid is coming soon, and that barely spurs you into action to clean up or make yourself look presentable.

The woman is barely thirty, but she knows your situation better than most, it seems. Most mornings, she makes you green tea instead of coffee and helps rearrange whatever furniture has been displaced - whether out of Rindou's anger or lust, it didn't matter.

When you finally emerge from the bathroom, you find her wiping the foyer clean and bent over where you stood earlier, swiping at the floor carefully. You say nothing as you pass by her, but that doesn't mean you're not sharing any thoughts or knowing glances.

The day is empty - void of meaning until Rindou reappears with his bored look and neediness. Your days are spent roaming about the house, doing mundane things like reading or sunbathing, and not thinking about much else.

When the baby finally reached the age where he could be sent to a care center, you did it immediately. Why raise a child in such a hostile environment? What good would that do except breed resentment in a house full of it?

"Sorry, Mrs. Haitani," the maid interrupts your thoughts. "I haven't cooked breakfast yet. Would you--"

"No," you reply, sipping at your tea. "I'm not hungry." The woman pauses, but shuffles off in the end, leaving you to mope about. And for the second time today, a thought breaches your false sense of peace.

I could leave.

This thought is a daily occurrence, almost like clockwork with its precision and volume. Every day, you think about it at least twice. And every day, you glance at the cameras set up to monitor the house... from the inside. And every day, you shrug the idea off. If you wanted to leave, it would have to be well-planned. But every time you tried to plan it, Rindou would ease up for some reason. He'd nuzzle your neck and kiss you to death in the evenings, then murmur sweet words to you at night and kiss you goodbye in the mornings.

And it would all be perfect for a little while until--

Your phone rings suddenly. The only number that's allowed to call in or that you're allowed to call pops up, and you press the device to your ear. "Yes?"

"I want to go out to eat tonight," Rindou croons, and you can visualize the smile on his face. "I'm thinking... Nobu."

Your stomach growls at the thought of sushi, and you huff a laugh. "What time?"

"You pick, baby. I want you to dress up. Can you wear the green dress tonight?"

"How about eight o'clock?"

"Sounds good. See you soon, my love." The sick feeling returns when you hang up the phone and turn to look at the stairs. As you travel up the steps, you recollect something you found in Rindou's things as you did the laundry. It was a small but fancy pill case, and five pressed, white pills lay inside with numbers on both sides.

You'd left it alone out of fear, but as your mind works, you reason just one couldn't hurt. Whatever it was, if it came from who you assume it came from, then perhaps it was something like a Xanax tablet or... whatever else Bonten sold. Rindou had never been visibly hyped up in front of you, and if these were his pills, well... maybe you would understand him better.

You slip one into your mouth without overthinking it and wander into the closet, intent on looking for your green dress out of the million and one others.

But soon, your head begins to swim, and you feel dizzy. You stumble, hands grabbing whatever to steady yourself, and a box of shoes comes tumbling down onto the floor in slow motion. Your body pitches and your vision dances, and before you can cry out for help, a deep sense of euphoria washes over you.

And you feel good.

Whatever Rindou has been hiding, you muse. This... this is different.

You lay on the floor and sink even deeper into the feeling, allowing the brief moments of reprieve and pleasure to wash over your body. "Rindou," you murmur, blinking slowly. "Rindou, you never told me you were hiding something that would finally make me feel good..."

Unbidden, his face swims in your vision, and you try to wave it off, but your fingers touch the skin, and Rindou's face isn't happy. His black holes for eyes are worried, but you see no reason for that. You finally feel good. Why would he ruin this for you by being upset?

"How long have you been laying here?" you hear him yell, but your body doesn't respond to him like it usually would.

"Don't know," you admit, trying to shrug. "Don't care."

"Fuck." Rindou disappears, then reappears with the pill case, his eyes searching yours frantically.

"Why are you so upset?" you wonder, but Rinodu isn't listening. Instead, he's squinting at the pills. "You need your glasses." He still doesn't respond. "Don't you hear me talking to you?"

"Where did you get these?" His voice is sharp, cutting through your pleasant emotions with bitterness.

"Your pockets," you reply, smiling. "You brought them to me." Rindou closes his eyes, inhales, then exhales deeply. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," Rindou finally says, his eyes opening. "No, I'm not mad."

"Good. I'm hungry. Are we still going to Nobu?"

"No," he repeats.

"But I'm hungry. I'll even wear the dress if we--"

"No," Rindou says a third time. You shift up a little, trying to feel your muscles. "We can't now. Let's get you to bed." You protest a little as Rindou picks you up, but you're quickly silenced as your feet drag across the carpet and into the bedroom once again. Rindou tucks you into the bed with care, patting the covers and sitting beside you. There's a look in his eye you can't describe, but it's enough to make you wish you could.

"'M sorry," you slur, mouth forming a slight pout.

"No, I'm sorry." Rindou pats your hand absentmindedly, staring off into space as you blink. "You should rest for a while. I'll make sure everything is taken care of."

You can't help but nod. Rindou stays there - you feel him shift only a few times, but overall, he remains there in silence. You're not sure when you drift off, but when you awaken, the room is dimly lit, and Rindou is beside you, reviewing documents in his pajamas.

"Rin," you croak, throat aching for water. He senses your need immediately and produces a water bottle, uncapping it for you to take and drink from. The effects from the pill are abating, and feelings come back to you like a trickle of water flowing through a crevice. "What did I take?"

"Doesn't matter," he grunts, stroking your hair. "It won't happen again."

"But--"

"It won't. Happen. Again." The short words he has with you make you sink into the bed. He returns to his papers, though the hand on your head doesn't stop petting you carefully. "Get some sleep for me."

You have no choice but to obey.