#it's fate and they share the top spot i guess.

[tv21pollshowdown]

Alright, lets try that again?

Stingray (pilot). When a World Security Patrol submarine is mysteriously destroyed, Troy and Phones are assigned to investigate. However, they are captured by the Aquaphibians and sentenced to death by King Titan of Titanica.

Marineville Traitor. All the signs point to Commander Shore when a vital component is stolen from the Marineville control room.

x

Trapped in the Depths has pipped Standby for action, and been voted the 3rd favorite! but we had a 50/50 split for the final so the third option returns.

Much appreciated

[tsukumomei]

—as long as it's you

ft. Sae Itoshi

summary: everything was in place, but when his mother accidentally reveals the surprise, sae has to improvise. wc. 1.3 k

Sae had it all planned out.

He wasn’t the type to make grand romantic gestures; he preferred to keep things simple and understated. 

But for you, he wanted to try, because he knew you deserved nothing less.

You loved people, gatherings, and celebrations. You thrived in the presence of those you held dear, so he’d taken note of every little thing you loved and orchestrated an evening just for you. Sae rented out the quaint, secluded garden café that had become your spot—a place where you made countless memories with.

The place would be adorned with soft fairy lights, casting a golden glow over the field. To top it all off, he had planned a fireworks display that would light up the night sky with the words: Will you marry me? 

He really was going all out for this.

The tables would be draped in elegant linen and scattered with your favorite flowers. He’d chosen a menu you would love, with dishes catered to every one of your favorites, down to the dessert: the same tiramisu you raved about during your first date.

It's great because it's so unbelievably out-of-character for him to do that you'd never guess it.

And then there was the ring.

He’d spent weeks looking for the perfect one, turning down countless designs until he found a jeweler in Italy who could create something unique—something as special as you. A custom piece: a delicate rose-gold band with a center diamond that sparkled like starlight, flanked by tiny sapphires to match the color of his eyes.

The ring had finally arrived today, nestled in an elegant velvet box. He held it in his hands for a moment, marveling at how something so small could hold so much meaning. The anticipation was almost unbearable, but there was still time to wait. He tucked the box into a drawer in his study before heading out to handle some business, reminding himself to grab it later.

Just as he was leaving, his mother noticed the package in his hand. "What’s that, Sae?" she asked, her tone light and curious.

He hesitated, then gave a faint smile. "Just something for y/n."

But fate, as it often does, had other plans.

Later that afternoon, you dropped by on a whim. "I just wanted to visit," you said with that radiant smile of yours, and Sae’s mother welcomed you warmly. She adored you—always had, ever since you and Sae were kids running around the neighborhood together.

As you chatted with Sae’s mother over tea, her voice turned light and casual, as if she were sharing a harmless little secret. “Oh, I almost forgot,” she said, setting her cup down with a soft clink. “Sae mentioned he got something for you. It’s in the study drawer over there. You should go get it.”

Your eyes immediately lit up with curiosity, a delighted smile spreading across your face. “Really? What is it?!” you asked, excitement bubbling in your tone as you pushed your chair back and made your way toward the study.

Sae’s mother opened her mouth, realizing her mistake too late. “Oh, wait—” she started, but you were already out of earshot.

In the study, you scanned the room quickly before spotting the drawer she mentioned. With eager hands, you pulled it open and found a small, elegant box sitting right on top. The rich, deep velvet of the box alone made your heart race.

You gasped softly, fingers trembling slightly as you lifted it from the drawer. It felt heavier than you expected, the weight somehow adding to the anticipation. Holding your breath, you carefully opened it, and there it was—the engagement ring.

The soft light from the study window caught the diamond, sending a brilliant array of colors dancing across the room. The intricate rose-gold band gleamed, and the tiny sapphires flanking the center stone shimmered like they held a secret of their own.

For a long moment, you were stunned. Your lips parted slightly in disbelief as your heart pounded in your chest. It wasn’t just a ring; it was the ring.

You turned back toward the kitchen, holding the open box in your hand. “Is this…?” you began, but the words trailed off as your eyes met Sae’s mother.

Her expression mirrored your shock—wide-eyed and horrified. Her hands flew to her mouth, her face flushing with the realization of what had just happened.

“Oh no…” you both said in unison, the words hanging in the air like a shared confession.

Sae’s mother shook her head frantically. “I—I didn’t know! He didn’t tell me what it was!” she stammered, clearly panicking.

You let out a nervous laugh, holding up the box. “This is what he got for me?” you asked, voice tinged with disbelief and amusement.

She nodded, still looking mortified. “I think I just ruined everything.”

And that’s how the proposal venue shifted from a dreamy garden setting to the family kitchen.

When Sae came home later that evening, the scene awaiting him was… not what he had envisioned. 

You and his mother were seated at the kitchen table, both looking unusually guilty, like two kids caught raiding the cookie jar.

His mother was the first to react, rushing to him with the velvet box in hand, her words tumbling out in a flurry of apologies. "Sae, I didn’t mean to—I didn’t know—I didn’t think she’d actually open it!"

He blinked, then sighed. Well, so much for surprises.

His gaze shifted to you. There you were, cheeks glowing with embarrassment. He could tell you were trying to act innocent, but the slight twitch of your lips gave you away.

He set the box down on the table and pinched the bridge of his nose, muttering something. Then, with a resigned sort of determination, he grabbed the box and turned to you.

“Oh well,” he said with a shrug, his tone deadpan but his eyes soft. “You already know, so I might as well do this now.”

Before you could process what was happening, Sae was down on one knee in the middle of the kitchen, holding the ring up toward you.

“You will marry me,” he said matter-of-factly, already taking your hand. “You don’t have a choice.” He slid the ring onto your finger with the same no-nonsense precision he used in every part of his life.

The sheer audacity of his approach made you burst into laughter. “You’re lucky I wasn’t going to say no even if you did ask properly,” you teased, your smile widening as you admired the ring.

His mother, standing nearby, had already pulled out her phone and was filming the entire thing, tearing up at the unexpected sweetness of the moment.

As Sae stood, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close. Your voice was soft, laced with both joy and disbelief. “So, this is it,” you murmured, your eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

He gazed down at you, his hands settling gently on your waist, and for a moment, the world seemed to fade away. His lips curled into the smallest of smiles, but his eyes were filled with so much love it took your breath away. “Yeah,” he said quietly, his voice carrying a warmth that wrapped around your heart. “This is it.”

Sae’s expression shifted slightly, a hint of regret flickering in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low. “I had it all planned out, you know? You would’ve loved it—the garden, the lights, the fireworks. It was going to be perfect.” He gave a small, sheepish smile, but his gaze never left yours.

You reached up, cupping his face gently in your hands. “Sae,” you whispered, brushing your thumb over his cheek. “I’d take anything as long as it’s with you.”

The engagement was sealed right there—not in the garden surrounded by flowers and fairy lights, but in the cozy kitchen, filled with the lingering aroma of coffee and laughter, and a witness armed with a smartphone. 

Though it wasn’t the grand, meticulously planned proposal Sae had envisioned, as he looked into your eyes, he realized something important. The sparkle of the ring on your finger paled in comparison to the glow of your smile, and in that moment, nothing else mattered.

The garden, with its fairy lights and fireworks, would now be the backdrop for your engagement party—the perfect imperfection of life’s unexpected moments. 

And as you leaned up to kiss him, Sae couldn’t help but think that this, right here, was better than perfect.

—

a/n: I am indeed a victim of the Sae brainrot

[ladykailitha]

Never Hold Back Your Step... Part 13

This really is getting down to the end here. I'm already at the Mind Flayer in the spot where I'm at in the story so...yeah. Then it would just one chapter after that. Maybe. I don't know. But it's sad to see this one go, too.

Of course as with "Can Anybody See Me?" once this is done, I will begin work on the final story which will take us all the way to the end of the fourth season. Which I hope to get done before season 5. Ideally.

It will have a line from a song in a musical just like the last two (1776 and The Scarlet Pimpernel respectively) so you have any songs you think will fit the theme of the third book (which will be Steve and Eddie clashing over nerds vs sports until that fateful day in March) let me know in the comments or tags or even a DM or ask. It took me months to come up with the title for this one, so any help would be great.

Here we have the dipshit detectives trying to figure out the message and the "secret tunnel".

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

~

Once they explained everything to Robin, she told them about what the message said. And no given the context of the message coming from the mall it suddenly made too sense.

“The clock tower, the shoe shop and the Chinese place,” she crowed. “It’s got to be.”

“You sure you translated it correctly?” Steve asked. “Because what the fuck does blue meeting yellow have anything to do with the clock tower?”

Robin rolled her eyes and huffed out a deep sigh. “The hour and minute hands are blue and yellow and meeting in the west would be 9:45!”

Eddie tilted his head to the side. “AM or PM?”

Robin stared at him for a moment in shock. “Oh. I don’t know. Could be either I guess.”

Eddie looked at his watch and cursed. “As thrilling as all this has been, I have to get to band practice.” He gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze. “Be careful, Stevie. Okay?”

Steve nodded and squeezed Eddie’s shoulder back. God, he just want to kiss him goodbye, because it might be his last opportunity to do so. But Dustin and Robin were watching and probably half of the mall too. “As careful as I can be.”

“How can you be so super chill about this?” Robin asked after he left. “Like Russians are running around our mall and Eddie acts like this is a normal Tuesday for you?”

Dustin and Steve shared a glance.

But Steve just scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Like I’ve had the worst year. My girlfriend broke up with me, I got my head bashed in by Hargrove, I got harassed by the basketball team, I nearly got water dumped on my head because I won the part fair and square, then the same asshole tried to scramble my brains further, I didn’t get into the right colleges and was forced to work here instead of the rec center pool like have for the last three years, and a fuck ton of other things. Now Russians have set up shop in my home town? This is just the cherry on top of a very shit filled cake.”

Robin and Dustin winced. Dustin knew that Steve’s year was actually way worse than the truncated version he gave Robin, but they couldn’t tell her about the tunnels, El, monsters, and secret labs. Hence, fuck ton of things.

“Okay,” Robin conceded, “it does sound like your average Tuesday.” She looked up at the clock. “You’re supposed to be off, anyway. So shoo and take the genius child with you.”

Dustin beamed up Steve smugly, but Steve just knocked his hat off on his way to clock out.

“Hey!” Dustin shouted after him. He turned to Robin. “Can you believe this guy?”

Robin just shrugged. “You’re the one who’s friends with him, not me.”

Steve walked out moments later, twirling the hat on his finger. He walked past Dustin to the mall food court. He stopped and turned around.

“Are you coming or are you going to keep harassing workers?” he huffed, putting a hand on his hip.

Robin burst out laughing as Dustin hurried to catch up, scooping his hat off the floor in haste.

Steve shook his head as they walked through the mall. “Hey if we grab my binoculars, I bet we could stake out the mall and look for Russians.”

Steve looked at his watch and sighed. Eddie wouldn’t get done with band practice until much later tonight and he didn’t want to go back to his large empty house, because of course his parents fucked off to the Caribbean for the summer. His father had forced him to give up a job he loved for the most humiliating retail job imaginable and then fucked off to some place pleasant, leaving him to rot.

“Yeah, okay.”

Dustin let out a whoop and jumped up and down. “You won’t regret this!”

Steve buried his head in his hands. “I already do.”

~

Steve and Dustin were hiding behind a large potted plant with Dustin’s binoculars watching people go by.

“What are we supposed to looking for, anyway?” Steve asked, scanning the crowds.

“Russians.”

Steve tore himself away from the binoculars to glare at him. “Thank you for that unhelpful assessment. I know I’m supposed to be looking for Russians, but what do Russians look like?”

“I don’t know,” Dustin huffed. “Tall, blond, scary looking dudes, I guess.”

Steve rolled his eyes and kept looking. He spotted Anna Jacobi flirting with Mark Lewinsky and huffed out a a noise of disgust.

“You have got to be kidding me,” he said with a sigh. “Anna can do way better than swamp ass Lewinsky.”

Dustin smacked his shoulder. “Can you please take this seriously? You’re supposed to be looking for Russians, not your next date. Besides you already have the perfect girl right there!”

Steve rolled his eyes and went back to looking through the binoculars. “Don’t say Robin.”

“Robin.” Was the immediate response.

“No, man,” Steve said as Dustin grabbed the binoculars from him, “she’s not my type. She’s not even in the ballpark of my type.” Considering that she had boobies and not a dick, pretty much sealed the box on any chances of that romantic relationship going anywhere.

Dustin looked over at him and sneered. “And what’s your type again? Not awesome?”

Fuck you. But Steve sneered and stuck his tongue out. “Thank you.”

Dustin grinned back at him with a little hum.

“Look,” Steve said, “for your information, she’s still in school. And she’s weird. But not like Eddie weird. Weird, weird. And she’s hyper. Like worse than Eddie. At least if you put a book in his hand, he’ll settle down. She’ll tap her fingers and twirl her gum. She was also one of those kids in drama who didn’t think I deserved the role of Thomson. That’s a bad look. And she’s in band? But not a rock band like Eddie, a fucking trumpet.” He twisted his lips in disgust. “No.”

Dustin turned to face him. “Now that you’re out of school, that means you’re an adult. And don’t you think you should move past primitive social constructs like popularity?”

Steve looked at him as if he was joking. “Popularity? Are you fucking with me right now? Did you forget I wasn’t popular for the last four months of high school? Primitive constructs, I tell you. Where the hell did you learn that shit? Camp Know Nothing?”

“Camp Know Where, actually,” Dustin huffed, “And no, it’s shit I learned from life. Instead of dating someone you think will make you cool again, why not date someone you enjoy being around for a change? Like me and Suzie.” He smiled broadly. He turned back to watching the through the binoculars.

Steve was soo close to just telling the little shit that he was dating someone he enjoyed being around, someone who did make him look cooler, someone who loved him for him and not in spite of him. But instead he took a deep breath and said, “Oh Suzie. Yeah, you mean hotter than Phoebe Cates. That Suzie. And let’s think about how exactly you scored a girlfriend?”

He scratched his head, appearing to think about it, then he snapped his fingers. “Oh yeah, with my advice. Because that’s how this works, Henderson. I give the advice and you follow through. Not the other way around, all right?”

Dustin sighed. “I just think you could really benefit from being with someone like her, you know?”

Steve rubbed the top of the kid’s head. “I’m doing better than you think I am. Better then everyone thinks I am.”

Dustin stared at him skeptically, but left it alone. Steve knew that there was no way he was going to leave it alone. He just knew that it was going to come back and bite him in the ass in the worst way and at the worst time. He could feel it.

~

“There is a secret room under the mall,” Steve said slowly, not quite wanting to believe this. “And we can get there through the air vents in the break room?”

Robin nodded emphatically. “Yeah, isn’t that cool?”

He had no idea how to tell her how uncool that actually was, because Jesus fuck, the deeper they got into this, the more over his head he felt.

“Let’s go see your secret tunnel,” he said with a sigh, rubbing his face, just suddenly exhausted by the whole thing.

He followed them to the back and looked up at the vent in utter despair. Sighing, he got a ladder and set it up, then hunted around for a screwdriver. Once he found one, he tucked it between his teeth and started climbing. He reached the vent and unscrewed the screws holding the vent in place.

“Oi!” he called out to Dustin. “Hold these!” He held out the screws for him to take. “Don’t lose them, otherwise people are going to ask why there is a great big gaping hole in the wall.”

Dustin rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. Steve put the screwdriver back between his teeth and took off the vent cover.

“It’s a tight space,” he murmured. “Hey, Robin you think you could fit? You’re pretty thin.”

Robin put her hands on her hips and glared up at him. “While I appreciate you thinking I’m skinny enough to fit, I question your sanity if you think I’m going down the creepy tunnel.”

“Vent!” Dustin huffed. “You’ve both called it a tunnel. It’s not a tunnel, it’s a vent. And none of us are small enough to fit.”

DING! DING! “Hey!” someone called out from the front of the store. “Is anyone here?”

Steve who had been climbing down the ladder, stopped and shared a look with Dustin. A slow smile took over their faces.

“Erica!” they said together with glee.

They ran out to the front with Robin fast on their heels. They skidded to a stop and their smiles grew to actual grins when they saw that she was alone and not with her many friends.

“Erica...hey,” Steve said smoothly, leaning against the counter. “What can I get you?”

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “Why are you suddenly being so nice?”

Just then Dustin and Robin burst out of the back room and stumbled into front and Erica was even more suspicious than she was before.

So Steve bundled her over to one of the booths and tried plying her with all the ice cream a little girl could conceivably eat, while Dustin filled both Robin and Erica about the messages and all their clues and how they put it all together. It was a hard but impressive sell.

“So will you do it for America?” Dustin asked.

“Well, you can’t spell America without Erica,” she said smugly. “A life time supply of Scoops Ice Cream and you’ve got a deal.”

Robin and Steve shared a glance. Then Steve reached across the table to shake Erica’s hand.

“Deal.”

~

Part 14 Part 15 Part 16

And if you remember something else there from WIP Wednesday... yeah. It wasn't fitting with the rest of the story and had to be cut. Sadness.

Tag List: FIVE SLOTS REMAINING

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @blondie1006

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @angels-of-hades

7- @mugloversonly @y4r3luv @greeniebean911 @birbsauce @acingthecounts

8- @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @ravenfrog @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts

9- @clockworkballerina @bluelightsinthevoid @blcksh33p1987 @i-go-pink-in-the-night @mamafaithful

[hyog-blog]

Fangs of Fortune (ep. 5 + ep. 6) [rewatch]

Rewatching is hard :D I got so sucked into the show (again!) that I didn't even bother stopping to process it (again!).

But this scene/sequence/episode in particular is so precious - not only do we get to meet Li Lun again, but he establishes himself as ZYZ's rival and the enemy of their whole little team for the nearest future.

We also see him get hurt by Zhao Yuanzhou's words and, what's even more fascinating, we see ZYZ and Zhuo Yichen work together in such unison against him, effortlessly and quite naturally like they've done it their whole lives.

Zhao Yuanzhou doesn't even think twice about protecting Zhuo Yichen, having already noticed Li Lun's presence at the end of ep.5 (and he may not have the Truth Eye, he may not be tuned into Li Lun with his heart like before, but he spots Zhuo Yichen's sword glow and he does realize it must be him before anyone else can, and that still speaks volumes about how much that man meant to him, at least, before).

This episode has that extra layer of depth because Zhuo Yichen gets to dream for the first time in a long while, and what a dream it is! That whole Inception-esque sequence of going deeper into his psyche and his very soul using water as a portal (so cool!) until he reaches not even his own dreams, but a variation of Wen Xiao's memory (so meta!) where he witnesses her being killed by Zhu Yan and he can't save her (probably one of his biggest fears, to not be able to save the person he cherishes the most, again, just like it happened with his brother).

But that last dream must have a deeper metaphorical meaning because when he realizes that Zhu Yan isn't the ultimate evil that he has to fight outside of himself, but merely a representation of his own helplessness and fear and that malicious energy that was his own and not something created by Zhu Yan, then he gets his moment of epiphany and, maybe, as I imagine it, that is also a major shift in his understanding of life and fate and what role Zhao Yuanzhou played in all of it, which later helps him forgive ZYZ when he finds out that it wasn't actually him personally who killed his brother and father, which makes all the difference.

Like, it's such an important moment for him to be able to dream and to find himself again, and truly meet with his darkest fears inside of that dream, that I can only applaud the showrunners for putting this extra layer of depth into the development of Zhuo Yichen's character.

And, of course, there's the notion of Zhao Yuanzhou sacrificing himself just to help Zhuo YIchen see, to show him the truth, whatever it was, like he was already tuned in so much into Zhuo Yichen and what was happening to him that he could at least guess even without using the mind-link about what horrors would torment this young man in his dreams. And knowing very well that he's pretty much on top of the list of his possible nightmares.

And making the other see is such an important theme in this show. Because some people just see the truth naturally (like Zhuo Yichen) while others stay blind while even having the Truth Eye (like Li Lun).

That it is Zhao Yuanzhou who lets Zhuo Yichen pierce his heart and uses his blood to wake up the sword and, subsequently, wake up ZYC and bring him back to life from the death-dream, already speaks volumes about the bond they are already sharing and what it would turn into later. Wen Xiao wouldn't have been able to bring Zhuo Yichen back from that dream, and no one else could. It's such a shared fate/destiny moment, especially knowing that it was Li Lun who created this whole situation to begin with and gave Zhuo Yichen his dreams back. So many layers, oh my god.

[freetobeafcknriot]

Okay but hello! I saw your post about a Soulmate!AU for TUA and with season 4 coming I feel like I need to know more sooooo may I?

anon the way you made me screech and giggle and cry tears of joy because of course you may know more?? i've been waiting for this??? for reference, this is the post and this is how i'm tagging the au to keep track of it on my blog. because i may not have a title, but i'm an editor and sometimes a writer and almost always i just have an overreacting imagination. so i definitely needed a tag. anyway! i'll... idk i will give you a few details? hcs? this is the gist of it, buckle up !

the psa for this is that there are two kind of soulmarks: the ones you already have when you are born (if you're born with it; not everyone is and as a matter of fact the only two brellies to have a twin flame are allison and klaus) and the ones that appear through life (way more common). a case could be made to differentiate between these two categories, for which we either talk about twin flames—allegedly what once was one single soul now split in two perfect halves who are said to recognize and yearn for one another—or soulmates—two souls drawn to one another out of compatibility or remembrance who connect and form something.

this may vary from one culture to another, but there generally is no fixed standard regarding romantic or platonic bonds, as every soulmark and soul bond are unique in form and shape and meaning. this is the core of it all.

now. . . when they're little, reginald makes six of his seven children get the umbrella academy tattoo. in this universe, that tattoo is sort of a faux mark, because reginald had a strict and precise stance on soulmarks and at the time claimed that such things were foolish compared to the duty the academy had towards the world. the team should have formed a united front, be a unit, so that tattoo was a symbol that was to be seen as binding. marks and bonds can be made not just by fate, after all! at the time, little viktor was exempt from it because he wasn't part of the academy.

(little did they know that years down the line, in the sixties, an actual mark would appear on that same spot. this time though there would be seven of them.)

anyway, i don't know if you want a rundown of the soulmarks and whatnot? i have an in-depth list of bonds (both marked and not) with backstories and considerations and hcs regarding canon events that is quite lengthy because i imagine the au splitting in two branches at some point—one canon compliant up to season 4 when it's out and one canon divergent post-season 1 or 2—and  i'm also writing down a list of the soul bonds within the academy that is basically an abstract from viktor's book (because he would have included it too). i'll keep it short for starters because otherwise i'll end up unloading too much on you all and i'm afraid of being too all over the place, but basically. THE SOUL BONDS:

there's the tattoo of the series/faux mark and the actual soulmark that in my mind appears on top of it mid-season 2 and is shared by the brellies. team zero, hey? then from the oldest to the most recent to manifest we've got. . .

FIVE & VIKTOR, the rings ┈ because i nicknamed them all according to their soulmarks they have this small pigmented ring on the right ring finger that changes in shade depending on the physical distance between them. very subtle and cool and with much lore following canon, as you may guess. the only thing i'm gonna say for now is that five and vik's soul bond goes back to when they were four and it played a small role in the leaving lights on and sanwiches out situation.

LUTHER & ALLISON, the cryptolect ┈ it means that they can speak a language of their own. literally! it's impossible for anybody but them to understand it, reginald probably tried and failed to identify patterns or elements from various linguistic branches to make some sense of it but it just can't be picked up or taught as it's basically second nature. given how luther and allison were as kids it was such a big deal and so obvious that no one even remembers a time before and obviously due to recent events it's kinda cool to me to see it as a bit deteriorated but still ever-present bond.

FIVE & BEN, the wisps ┈ literally what five started calling the two flame-like little spirits that represent his and ben's soul bond after ben pointed out that they looked like the will-'o-the-wisp he'd read about in a book. but also because of the way they would appear and always lead the way to one another. that was their thing. nobody but five and ben has ever been able to see the wisps, not even klaus, so they had a theory that maybe they were an echoed apparition of their souls or something like that. there's a lot of lore/hcs here, too, especially regarding five's disappearance and time in the apocalypse and ben's afterlife as a ghost. all i can say is ‘so close yet far’ and ‘never truly gone’.

KLAUS & BEN, the timers ┈ it is as it says, only there were speculations about what the timers led to given that they weren't aligned (read: they were counting down to different dates) and not even made out of conventional numerals. the soulmark itself was a bit above the inner crook of the left elbow, no darker than a sunspot, regularly in motion and indicating years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds in roman numerals, which is part of the reason why it was a bit difficult to interpret with no previous familiarity. even more so if you're oblivious or in denial. again, lore and angst and delayed realization came with a row of light null characters in its stead. quite a bit of baggage because i love them and canon says so.

DIEGO & KLAUS, the compass ┈ more specifically, i have it jotted down as a moving indicator that appeared more or less when they were around thirteen or fourteen. it might have seemed out of the blue then, but all things considered it wasn't that unexpected, especially when you look at season one or if you too think that diego used to haul klaus from the streets or drag him to rehab if they ran into one another. anyway, their soulmark is kind of a compass if you go by its shape. it's embedded on the lower part of the palm of their right hand, towards the thumb (below klaus' hello tattoo), and it does move and spin, but instead of pointing north it points you towards the general direction of the other.

OG!BEN & VIKTOR, the blossoms ┈ the most subtle and late soul bond of them all. i like to think that the lowest numbers were close as kids, given the information we were given, so even though their relationship might have stilled a little in their teens it was still tender enough to grant viktor and ben a soul bond. they were never sure of when it happened because the only instance where the soulmark in on itself becomes visible is when they touch. physical contact equals a tiny luminescent outlined flower appearing near the knuckle of their left middle finger. to which i feel the need to remind you all of this:

so these are the soul bonds within the hargreeves siblings! without taking into account sparrow!ben (or the sparrows in general) because stars do i have something in store for pookie as well.

i was tempted to add more, but i also wanted to emphasize how there doesn't always need to be an actual, visible soulmark for a bond to be important plus i'm waiting to see if season 4 makes me add more lol. diego is a primary example of this because, without spoiling anything, he secretly craved that kind of bond as a child, even though his siblings love him just the same regardless. it's also the reason why i have a list of non-marked bonds as well as one for soul bonds featuring characters outside of the academy. there might also be a playlist somewhere, because each bond has a song in my mind, but i digress!

this has gotten super long already so for now, that's it that's all. but i'm tagging this au and working on it and my inbox is there if you uuh, wanna chat about it more? ngl it was hard not being able to rant about it with anybody, because there are some elements and facts and implications there that genuinely alter my brain chemistry daily. so thank you for the ask, nonnie! <3

[mmoneystones]

𝐓𝐎𝐀 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 M𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐲!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

Name: Neku

Pronouns: he/they

Birthday (no year): Feb 24th

Where are you from? What is your time zone? North-Eastern NY with an EST time zone!

How long is your roleplay experience? About 2+ years now likely, with about half a year on indie and the rest from Discord RP (AKA just TOA)

How were you introduced to roleplaying as a whole? Okay this is always a really funny story because when I was around 15 or so I was really getting into Puyo Puyo, both because funny puzzle game but the characters were actually really cool! Then like one of my random friends from that community had the idea for RP/worldbuilding and the rest is history I guess?? I don't do Puyo RP anymore but it was a nice start. c:

How were you introduced to TOA? After my indie experience went down the drain I stayed in contact with most of my close Tumblr FE RP friends and that included gamer N. He told me about TOA a while back before, but I only considered joining really after I started getting used to college life.

Do you have any pets? No, my only pet were like carnival goldfish that....yeah :(

What is your favorite time of year and why? (Season, holiday, general period) Start of spring because while I like the colder seasons I feel sick AGAIN so I think the spring period is just my safest one.

What is your IRL occupation? University student until I learn what the hell I want to do with my life.

Some interests and things you like/enjoy? Small interests in music theory, game design, mathematics, musicals, uh....gaming. Yeah, gaming.

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play? Smash Bros, Splatoon, The World Ends With You, Touhou Project, Trails/Kiseki, Celeste, a lot more Nintendo, honestly insert a lot of roguelikes here

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: I'm such a fake pokemon fan I stopped playing after Gen 6 but the Steel type is cool and Empoleon my beloved.

Tell us some funfacts and trivia about yourself! (Optional bonus challenge: if you filled this out last year, try not to repeat what you said back then!)

1) I have moderated a Touhou gacha server. Am I proud of it? No. 2) I can do a T-spin. I think that's pretty cool 3) I can beat Punch-Out on the Wii in a single session. It's probably easy to do but I love that game okay.

How did you get into Fire Emblem? Brother showed me FE7 on a totally legal GBA and I was like "wow cool!" Also Smash.

What Fire Emblem games have you played? It's on my mun page but I've played every (remade) FE game outside of FE5 (which I'm currently completing), 3 Hopes, and TMS. Quit FEH after like year 2.

First & Favorite Fire Emblem games: First would be both FE7 and Awakening, favorites are FE15, FE9, and (until I lose the adrenaline) FE4.

List your 5 favorite Fire Emblem characters across the series! Okay 5 is a large ask when you say favorites but uhhhhh Mae, Ike, Anna, Flora, Shamir. They can fight over the top 5 spots like a battle royale.

Who was the first character ever to make you go “ooh I like this one in particular” and why? Can be any context and reason! Going off FE7 being my first I'd probably call out Marcus because haha strong earlygame prepromote go zoom. Fortunately that almost works depending on the FE game.

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 Ayra. Yeah.

If you’ve played (or are familiar with) the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? I don't really care much for the S Support mechanic so I'm just writing these to call out my tastes. Probably no one I'd really consider to do with nowadays. - Awakening: Tiki - Fates: Honestly I cannot remember for the life of me for my sake I hope it was like Setsuna. Edit: fuck it was definitely Kagero. - Three Houses: Shamir - Engage: Ivy

Favorite Fire Emblem class? Pegasus Knight!

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class and stats? Would you be playable? I don't want to be one but I'd likely be some armor class with axes or swords. I'd be playable with really middling stats so I'm either benched or the subject of a FE video essay on "why splorgius the axe knight is UNDERRATED???"

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation? (Black Eagles, Blue Lions, Golden Deer, Church of Seiros, Those Who Slither in the Dark, unaffiliated civilian, other - for example Almyran) Golden Deer YIPPEE

If you were an Officers Academy student, what would be your boons, banes and potential budding talent? Boons: Lance, Gauntlets, Flying; Banes: Axe, Faith, Heavy Armor; Budding Talent: Authority

If you were an Engage character, which nation would you originate from? (Firene, the Kingdom of Abundance; Brodia, the Kingdom of Might; Elusia, the Kingdom of Knowledge; Solm, the Queendom of Freedom; Lythos, the holy land of the Divine Dragon; Gradlon, the desolate land of the Fell Dragon) Brodia so I can convince Citrinne to donate to the commoners (it won't work.)

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔(separate letters, to-ah, other?) N has made me say To-Ah but if I am not being hypnotized it's separate letters.

Current TOA muses: Citrinne, Lene, Yuzu

Past TOA muses? Mae, Shamir, Sonya, Faye, Anna (FEH), Flora

Who was your first TOA muse? If you no longer have them, can you see yourself picking them up again? Mae, and I honestly could see it but only if other muses weren't picking so hard at my brain right now.

Do you believe you have a type of character you gravitate towards writing? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) N has called me out for my sadgirl schtick, and...yeah. I think I've strayed from women that outright have traumatic moments define them, but it definitely is a sore spot in their lives. Unless you're Yuzu. You'd win.

Do you have characters or types of characters you don’t think you can handle writing, but wish you could? So this used to be like any single noble muse due to the inevitable struggle of writing around politics but I think Citrinne has been doing well sooooo let's just go with what the people want. Neku the male does not think he can write other men.

What kind of scenes, situations etc do you believe you enjoy writing the most? (If you filled this out last year, has this changed in any way?) I still don't feel like I gravitate toward any real scenario but nowadays I have gotten less scared of dialogue to the point where I enjoy moments that allow muses to just talk to one another and bounce off each other.

Do you have any scenario in mind for your muse(s) that gets you thinking “man I hope I get to write this one day”? Nothing sticks to my mind right now for Citrinne; for Yuzu I need her mind to implode from Fates' route shenanigans; for Lene I need her to meet her mother :)

Favorite TOA-related memories? At this point it'd be Ball 2024 and Happyland since those are my most recent event memories. The mini-event I did with Sonya was very precious too.

Present or past tense? Try my darnest to keep it to present and I'm so sorry when it flops.

Normal size text, small text, no preference? I prefer to keep it to normal text when writing on my own end, never really saw the point for small, but I don't mind what others use.

Got any potential muse delusions to share? 😉 You know who you are.

[otaku-tactician]

if you reblogged the character ask post, can you do 6 (something you have in common with the character), 12 (a headcanon you have about the character), and 24 (what character from another fandom reminds you of them) for a cu chulainn of your choice?

Hello, thank you for the ask ^^ I appreciate it a lot. Sure, I'll go for Lancer Cu then.

OOF I WROTE SO MUCH AS ALWAYS XDD

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Depression This is a really good question, to be honest. I've looked up to Lancer Cu for a long time, and never used to think he and I could possibly share anything in common- but as an adult, I'm starting to realise maybe we do.

Let me think... Firstly, maybe in enjoying the small things? Lancer Cu does a way better job of that than me, though. But yeah, sometimes the small things bring the most joy. I can't compare our lives though as Lancer's had it very rough.

I guess he and I also share saying things that can cross the line in common as well. Though it seems like he does it more to tease, I tend to accidentally just let things slip TT-TT and regret it immediately after. We can both be very impulsive and stubborn.

What else... Maybe we also share the goal of personality development in common, as well? In fate, it seems like Lancer has changed a little from who he used to be, and is working pretty hard in various senses. I also am trying to become a better person because holy moly, I was a even more wild mess back in my past, as well. So I guess he and I got that in common LOL

Do Lancer and I share much in common? Technically, he is my blind spot in terms of character analysis, so he and I may share more or less in common than I can consciously recognise.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

This is less a headcanon but more something that's been hinted at in canon, too- that Lancer Cu may very well also be the guy who also helps from the background. Yeah I get he says a lot about how heroes have to be flashy and stand out- or there's no point in heroism, but some of that does also read as a cover, for other aspects of him that can sincerely assist others without any prompting or praise. Maybe that is why FGO calls him 'aniki', because he does help out the same way a reliable sibling does.

Like when he ignores Bazett's order to kill the watcher from the church, instead settling for scaring them off. Or how he seems to often watch the events of Hollow Ataraxia from a distance. There's a side to him that feels very private and more clandestine in his feelings and activities. Maybe he's a softie deep down or something XD I'm embarrassed talking about this lol.

I am not sure, but he is a very multifaceted guy; but seems to have a really warm and soft side that watches out for others; on top of the sides that are a bold hero, sides that are ruthless, and sides that sometimes get way too swept up in his urges, too. That's just my take on him, though!

He also seems a bit nihilistic inside... That's just my read. He looks tired. Yet he's still going. That's pretty impressive to me.

And maybe he does have many regrets, maybe Lancer is just trying to seem as if he's got everything covered- when deep down he may be feeling a lot of mixed emotions about many things.

I understand if these points may be seen as disagreeable, but I can't help but feel like Lancer is keeping a very tight lid upon his innermost heart. Don't get me wrong, he's very familiar and intimate with others, but there just feels like there's something he's guarding with his life.

Could it be his ideals? Like as you said with Cu Alter defending his honor at all costs, could Lancer Cu very well be the same? Are they defending their wish with all they've got?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Thanks! This is a really good ask, as well. I often watch a lot of things and go 'this guy reminds me a little of cu!' And then I forget LOL. Overall, Cu feels pretty unique; however he does share numerous aspects in common with other characters, in my opinion.

One example I think of is Luka from Tokimemo Girls' Side 3, but not as in that they're very similar (they're pretty different personality wise); but they share shallow traits in common such as- a love for nature-related activities, need to chill on their own sometimes, and seem very light-hearted on the surface; only then for that to eventually give way to all the suffering and difficulties they are truly feeling inside.

He does also remind me a little bit of Kamina from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagaan. That kind of character with an incredible self-drive and bombastic personality- that is concealing a lot of pain and fear inside reminds me a little bit of Lancer Cu, for some reason.

And he reminds me of the dog named the Irish Wolfhound. I think because these dogs make for impeccable hunters and have a lot of energy, but are also the kinds of pets that can also be pretty gentle, kind, friendly and calm. That juxtaposition in nature reminds me of Lancer a lot.

Sorry, I am not too sure. There's loads of guys who may love a good battle, are very bold on the surface, be a funny flirt, act lighthearted whilst concealing a darker side, can toy with opponents during battle, and those who serve loyally to their cause. They remind me a little bit of Cu Chulainn, but not many characters really strongly remind me of him.

Thank you! ^^

[imaginespazzi]

Guess whos back:

Ahaha just another (reasonable) commonality b/w us! 🙅‍♀️❄️

Yes, please go ahead and tell her, thank you bestie! Hey how does one say "take a chance on me" in French? Jokes, but I always so love your Lou-Tea support after my run in this summer😊. Also perhaps I need to become more of a Wings supporter in light of recent events?? (I'll discuss briefly later in the post)

So wow TCU ended up getting NC State. And I think IU over Stanford qualifies as a minor upset. Ive caught very little UK so far, so appreciated your thoughts. Def bummed I missed the LVille matchup that went OT. I did see Wildcats struggled to beat up inferior opposition today before a big 4th Q. Will be curious to keep following - you may prove right about a SEC adjustment period 🤷‍♀️. Kinda relatedly, and I saw other anons mention the news story here, I see that Liz posted an insta story about the KMew pregnancy announcement. She really is just one of us huh lol. Also funny to me since GA seemed the soccer obsessed one while Kitley was pretty casual.

I certainly dont think there were many UConn supporters who wouldve enjoyed the game vs UNC as a whole. But early days, not much reason for freak outs in Nov, as weve said. Im looking forward to the Bahamas tourney bringing more competitive matchups following FDU.

Oh the W draft lottery results.. First of course Im still sad a miracle didnt end up happening for my Mystics. And in a more neutral perspective you cant tell me that a squad of Paige w Slim, Kira, Li, Dolson, and Ariel Atkins (plus others) wouldnt have been an absolute delight to watch. Not to mention her having fams around for all home games. Now what I say next is likely a bit controversial - but I think Dallas may be the next best landing spot, and Im not quite as upset as some people about the top pick going there. In short I feel that way because I think they seem more serious, put together, and to be genuinely investing in comparison to LA or Chi. And for Paige I wish an ownership & front office that cares.

👀 On a last fun note: Tickled me to see all the PJ talk across your blog, knowing that I first shared a post for you way back becuase it referenced Percabeth parallels w Pazzi. And ofc just the general fact that my dear twin was brought up 🤗.

Wishing you a great start to the week

-☕️

Hi loviiiieeee

Also thank you for your other ask, sending me what I'd missed so I could be all caught up lol. They really were attached at the hip that night huh? My gayass cute babies I adore them <3

I gotchu I gotchu, I'mma send your wife a dm in french telling her I've found the perfect woman and she really must give you a chance because fate is telling me y'all belong together!

Yep yep, TCU got NCState and now they're ranked for the first time in like a hot second. And Kentucky playing so well against Louisville and then struggling against whatever school was kinda insane like it made no sense to me and I'm really curious to see Georgia and her team against SEC competition fr fr.

I love that everyone slowly coming around to what we've been yapping about for months with Liz reposting the pregnancy announcement lmao. Between that and the CC repost, everyone's seeing the light.

I'm with you babes. I've really come around to the Dallas pick especially after the Lynne Roberts higher for LA which I think would've been terrible for Paige. Also Curt seems really excited to have Paige and seems determined to do right by her so I hope he sticks to what he's showing and creates an environment Paige thrives in and hopefully that starts with them figuring out how to keep Satou.

Ah yes you and Annabeth twinsies!!!

[ninjahiccups]

Hi there! I saw in one of Songbird of Asgard's chapters that you headcanon Heimdall as demi - do you have any other Heimdall headcanons you would like to share with us? Sincerely, a definitely-not-Heimdall-content-starved anon.

I have a few, though I don't want to share some of them just yet since they would give away things that happen in SoA later on.

-Like I said, I hc Heimdall as demi. Gender identity really doesn't matter to him so long as he can tolerate someone and trust them enough to accept them (which is the real hard part lol)

-Heimdall is a little shit, that much we know. I like to think that applies to people he's close to as well, but in a different way. He'll give them sass and do annoying things to them just for the fun of it. Short? He puts things on the top shelf just to watch them go crazy looking for it, then casually reveal that he moved it after they've lost their mind just to watch them blow up. Have a pet peeve? You better believe he's doing the exact thing that pisses them off every chance he gets. Neat freak? He will 100% walk into their space and fuck it up. If they're someone who will push his buttons right back at him for revenge it turns into a never-ending war of pranks and sass and just messing with each other, and he's too prideful not to have the last laugh.

-Speaking of caring, Heimdall is an all or nothing kinda person, so if he cares, he goes all out. He'll be a selfish, snobby prick to everyone else, expecting them to meet his needs and expectations because they aren't worthy of his time and effort. But if someone's earns his trust and becomes important to him, he will do anything for them. There are limits to how far he'll go depending on the circumstances, but he is devoted to the people he values.

-The same can't really be said for animals, unfortunately. Yes, he respects them, but in the end he sees them as tools that can outlive their usefulness, hence his reaction when Gulltoppr dies. T_T Though he could grow to care for an animal as well, but it would take a lot. It boils down to how he perceives external bonds, seeing them as valuable only if they benefit him (we can thank ol' Odin for that) and he has to get very, VERY close to people to let go of that idea be as devoted as I described above.

-I see him as being 6'0, 6'2ish max. I know Kratos is 6'4, and it looks like Heimdall isn't *too* much shorter than him? (This would make Eivor about 5'5 in SoA)

-Based on the God of War: Lore and Legends book, I'm guessing Heimdall is not too much older than Baldur? The book states Odin and Freya were married about 125 years before GoW 2018 and Baldur came along 5 years later. Freya clearly knows Heimdall, and considering she doesn't care for him at all makes me think she never saw him grow up (if she did I honestly think she would cut him some slack since she has a soft spot for children). That would mean Heimdall would have to be an adult by the time Freya came around, making him at least 135ish? BUT he still seems a lot younger than the other gods like Tyr and Thor based on appearance alone, so he can't be too much older. I hc he's 150ish, which is still very young compared to most other gods.

-My mans is touch-starved and you can't convince me otherwise. So force this man into a hug for god's sake, he just can't admit he needs it so someone has to take it into their own hands.

-He appreciates the arts. Literature, architecture, visual art, music, anything like that. He's just very picky about what he likes.

-I subscribe to the idea that his fate would have been different if just one person cared about him. He would have had one reason to trust someone other than Odin, and that could have changed his perspective completely. Odin likely never allowed that to happen specifically to keep Heimdall under his thumb.

-He does drink, but it's more of an Asgardian culture thing than a letting loose thing. He never gets drunk and has no desire to be.

-His favorite color is gold (shocking, I know).

-He had to learn how to control his foresight in his youngest years. It's always warned him about anything that's coming at him, but actually *reacting* to it in an efficient way was something he had to work on. He wouldn't have been able to catch arrows when he was a teenager, just duck out of the way of them. Of course, his mastery over this skill is part of what makes his ego so enormous.

-My dude is an indoors enjoyer. He very much likes neat environments, clean floors, organization. Outdoors is only nice in the short term, but ask this man to go camping? No way, bruh. You'd have to work to get him to sit on the ground, let alone SLEEP on it.

-Between Heimdall's snarkiness and Atreus's smart mouth, I see so much annoying sibling energy between them. If things had been different, Heimdall would have definitely been like a smartass, I'm-better-than-you older brother, and Atrues would have been the flat-out irritating, Nuh-uh-your-face-is-stupid younger brother. I will ride or die with the idea that the god of order and the god of mischief would piss each other off like brothers who beat each other up for fun. I may or may not plan to hint at this is SoA at some point ;)

(Side note, this blog DOES ***NOT*** support Heimtreus shipping. That last headcannon is strictly in a platonic and familial kind of way)

That's all I can think of right now, other than the ones that would give some things away is SoA. I hope you enjoyed that anon!!!

[borrowedtimeandspace]

GT July Day 8 Bonus:

Slightly related to today's short story, my very dear and good friend @neonthebright shared a song with me recently that wasn't even on my radar. The second I heard it, my entire heart sank into Zepheera/Orrick feels. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out their love story in Zepheera's Origins, chapters 4 onwards specifically.

I'm a music lover first and foremost, and I've already associated certain songs with my star-crossed lovers. This one is less diegetic than ones I've put into the stories, but it still gave me big ol feelings. I figured I'd share if anyone else cares and is as masochistic as me.

The song was the re-imagining of "Just A Dream" by Nelly. Specifically, the recent re-recording.

Emotional flailing under the cut. Tl;dr:

From the get-go, it's an emotional song because this video is spliced with old footage of the original cover made almost 13 years ago. Footage of the late Christina Grimmie. The male singer Sam Tsui and the instrumentalist Kurt Hugo Schneider returned for the re-recording. The original cover is also outstanding, but the vibe from them both in this new version is much more somber and heavy with the loss of Christina. So that's already crying points.

Then there's the added dynamic of the male and female singers that immediately invoked in me the feeling of lovers who adore each other so much but cannot be together, which hits so much different than the single perspective of the original. Made it very easy for me to insert my most tragic M/F couple into their roles.

I want to preface my next statement by saying that I was not aware of Christina Grimmie or her death before this song was shown to me, and it is the farthest thing from my intention to disrespect her memory or her admirers with my words. That being said, the age difference between her 12-year-old footage and the others' re-recordings brings to my mind the entire reason Zepheera left Orrick to begin with. She was stuck in time, fated to be forever youthful, and was terrified by the notion of watching the person she loved age away while she stayed the same and had to deal with being left without him.

And don't even get me started on the lyrics! They're not always exact, but some of them just Hit Me in the Heart, guys. First there's the chorus, which they always sing together.

I was thinking about you Thinking about me Thinking about us What we gonna be Open my eyes It was only just a dream Travel back, down that road Will you come back? No one knows I realize It was only just a dream

Changing the gendered pronouns throughout (most) of the song to "you" adds a more personal touch in my opinion, not just relating this story to someone else but wishing that the subject themselves could hear them. Adds an emotional urgency to it for me.

Lots of Orrick feels in the first verse (skimming through the less relevant lyrics):

I was at the top and now it's like I'm in a basement Number one spot, now you find you a replacement I swear now that I can't take it (...) Now you ain't around, baby, I can't think (...) 'Cause I can still feel it in the air See your pretty face, run my fingers through your hair My lover, my life My baby, my wife You left me, I'm tied 'Cause I know that it just ain't right

I can vividly imagine things like this running through Orrick's mind, reeling after being left high and dry.

The second verse related to Zepheera less than Orrick's, mostly because it was initially written from the perspective of a man who pushed a woman away. Even so, there are a few lines that really stuck out to me and stabbed me right in the heart:

Another riding, I swear see your face at every turn (...) And I just hope you know that you're the only one I yearn for No wonder I'll be missing when I learn (...) Hey, you were so easy to love But wait I guess our love wasn't enough Going through it every time that I'm alone (...) 'Cause I was wrong

She knows that leaving Orrick behind was a horrible thing. She knows that, and she did it anyway because she couldn't face losing him the long way around. Not when she couldn't carry the burden of aging alongside him like normal people and partners do.

And if that wasn't enough, they hit us with this bridge:

If you ever loved somebody, put your hands up If you ever loved somebody, put your hands up And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything

The second time this repeats, and I say this without judgement on Christina's crystal clear talent, the way her diction comes across made me think the lyric was "If you ever lost somebody" and just made Everything Hurt.

I have no good way to end this other than to reiterate:

[stardustmorozov]

All That Was And All That Is

Pairing: Iveryn (OFC) x Astarion (Tavstarion)

Chapter warnings: None that I can think of,

Word count: 3171

The next morning, Iveryn was awoken by the sun on her face and that, on top of the fact that she was in pain, she felt as stiff as a wooden door as she made an attempt at getting up. An attempt that immediately failed from how sore she was, so instead she settled for simply sitting as she assessed herself for injuries.

Aside from the rough scarring on her arm and side and a few bruises she’d gotten on her way down to the beach she had found herself on, she was mostly fine. It seemed to be nothing short of a miracle, that she had both survived a trip through hell and space before the ship had ultimately crashed on the sand. But she didn’t have time to wonder about who or what had saved her as the worm inside her head squirmed as if to let her know that it had survived too.

A sense of fear rushed down her spine as she remembered how the woman in the pod had transformed. Her screams still ringing in her ears over the sickening sound of her body ripping and tearing itself open to make place for the creature that had emerged from the gore. A fate that she would share unless she somehow found a cure. Something that seemed impossible since she had no idea what the life cycle of these creatures, these Ghaik as Lae’zel had called them, but if what happened to the woman on the ship had been of any indication, she needed to hurry. Staggering to her feet, she dragged herself over the sand, moving forward with no particular goal in mind. So many dead, she thought to herself as passed the corpses scattered across the sand, she noticed a freshwater stream next to the beach. Fresh water meant there would be some type of settlement near it, if the old and dilapidated religious building was something to go by. And if there were people around, there would be a way to get her hands on a new cloak and more importantly, a new bow. The absence of it haunting her like a predator waiting to strike. The only things that hadn’t left her were the double sheathed knives on her hips and whatever remnants of the Fae-wild still clung to her being, fueling what little magic she possessed.

Stumbling forward, she managed to lift some supplies from the corpses littered on the sand. They were hardly of the quality she was used to, but in her situation she could hardly afford to be picky. Iveryn quickly stuffed them in what seemed to be a good bag for supplies and moved on, resisting the somewhat unsavory urge to relieve every corpse she came across from their goods.

Her peace was short lived however as she spotted two brainy creatures scurrying out of the corner of her eye.

"Ugh, more of those wretched things," she said to no one in particular as she ascended the slope to where the creatures had disappeared. As she reached the top, she hazarded a guess that the part of the wreckage she was currently standing would have been the place where she and Lae'zel had first fought the imps together before moving to free the woman called Shadowheart. Now it was infested with the brain creatures which she had fought along side when they raced through the air.

"Guess they figured out that I am not one of them," she muttered as she recalled Lae'zel's words about the creature when they'd first met as the creatures made ready to attack when she got one step to close for their comfort.

The first beam of Eldritch energy that crackled through the air missed it's target by a hair's breath and she could only narrowly avoid the claws of the other creature before managing to stab one of them hard enough that it simply sank to the floor and did not get back up. She didn't notice the other creature again until it had sunk it's claws into her leg, but she was quick to retaliate and so did the second creature fall dead to the ground. Or so she hoped anyway. she had no idea what could and could not kill them. Whatever the case was for these creatures, she had bought herself enough time to get away from these creatures and to filch the supplies off of the few corpses that laid around.

It took Astarion a considerable amount of time to let his eyes get used to the sun again as he marveled at the fact that he didn't seem to be burning on every bit of skin that the sun could touch. After centuries of darkness he should be elated by it, yet the only thing he could put his finger on was fear.

Fear of who had done this, why and how they had managed to get this worm to bend the very rules of the universe to let him walk in the sun again. Perhaps he would get answers if he could somehow interrogate one of those who freely wandered the ship before they crashed. Though the Gith was probably not the best idea. She'd dismember him if he looked in her direction the wrong way, which left the cleric and the ranger he'd seen scuttling about from his pod.

It was the oh-so-familiar click of a lock being sprung open that drew his attention. From a distance it was somewhat difficult to see, but he recognized the odd colors of the woman's hair as that of the ranger. And if he could get her to let her guard down, he would hopefully have his answers.

The answer as to how he would do that came as easy as breathing. He would play the damsel in distress. Claim he'd seen one of those horrendous intellect devourers and had it cornered, but not quite capable of it himself.

And with his looks, she likely wouldn't even think twice about coming to his rescue.

"I need some help, please," he said loudly enough for her to hear him as he spotted her ascending the slope of the dune they were standing on and he had to suppress a grin as he noticed her speeding up at his call for help. The trap was laid, and the bait had almost been taken.

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked as she was several paces away from him. Too far to force any answers out of her.

"Hurry, I've got one of those brain things cornered," he said as he pointed to an empty spot between the bushes, "there, in the grass. You can kill it, can't you? Like you killed the others?" The latter was a guess, but if he judged correctly from the dark ochres and even darker greens she was wearing, those creatures would have been no problem for her.

"Sure I can. Stand back," she said, seemingly grabbing at nothing behind her back as she settled her hand on what seemed to be a double scabbard holding two knives. Weapons he had no doubt she was adept at using, but it would not change his plan.

She cautiously moved forward trying to see where the monster he'd made up was when he saw his chance. Even when he'd been mortal he'd been faster than a human would be, qualities that had only enhanced by his vampirism. Yet to his surprise, when he tried to pull her down with his knife at her throat, he found himself landing on his back rather unceremoniously. But he hadn't survived two centuries by being slow.

Pain bloomed in his chest as he turned both of them over, landing him on top of her. Without thinking he pinned one of her legs with his knee, like he'd done many times before, though the context of those situations had been very different. With his other hand he pinned her weapon hand to the ground, using his own weight to press the knife to the delicate skin of her throat, doing his best to ignore the oh so delectable scent that wafted off of it.

"Shhh... Not a sound," only half successful in suppressing a chuckle, "not if you want to keep that darling neck of yours..." Beneath him she tried to move her free leg under him to somehow free herself. An attempt that proved fruitless, making him grin.

"Oh don't bother, I've been doing this since before your ancestors could crawl. Now I saw you on the ship, didn't I? Nod." She hesitated for a second, but then complied with his request, likely not seeing a way out of her situation until he let up the knife.

"Splendid. And now you are going to tell me exactly what you and those tentacled freaks, did to me."

"You have it backwards," she bit out in protest, "they took me prisoner, just like you. Now release me before I make you..."

"Oh no, don't you lie to me! I-" with a shock of psychic pain the worm in his head twisted, suddenly transported into her head, looking through her eyes as she stalked her targets, as the ship that captured them screeched through the hells and how they'd finally ended up here.

"What was that?" he demanded, "what's going on?" but as he asked the question it seemed that somewhere his grip on her had slipped as she moved to not only free herself, but also disarmed him in the same move.

"You- I saw into your mind... They took you, just the same as me," he said as he tried to recover from the sudden shock. "And to think I was ready to decorate the ground with your innards... My apologies."

"Glad to see we're all caught up now," the woman said somewhat relieved, though very clearly still wary of him. Even though she held his only weapon in her hand.

"Indeed we are. Please, allow me to introduce myself. My name's Astarion, I was in Baldur's Gate when those beasts snatched me."

"Iveryn," the woman offered, "Royal Ranger of king Duncan of Araluen."

"Is that so?" he said, having a vague inkling that it was supposed to sound impressive, although the only thing he could picture in his mind was anything less than prestigious. "We clearly move in different circles. I don't suppose you know anything about these worms."

Iveryn shrugged, "All I know is that they'll turn us into the same monsters that abducted us."

"Turn us into-" They would be turned into mind flayers. Of course that damned worm would make him even more of a monster than he already was. Of fucking course there would be a price to pay for escaping Cazador's claws this quickly and efficiently.

He laughed at the absurdity of it. That he'd allowed himself, if only for just a small moment, some hope that there would be no consequences for this. That he'd finally be truly free of Cazador. "Of course it'll turn me into a monster... What else did I expect? Although, it hasn't happened yet," he thought out loud, "If we can find an expert- someone who can control these, things... There might still be time."

"Control it?" Iveryn said as if she found the very thought incredulous, "we need to get rid of it."

"Well, yes of course," he conceded, "but first things first..."

Besides, he thought to himself, she'd come this far already... If he could somehow get her on his side while they sorted this worm business, he had no doubt that she would be a powerful ally.

"Our odds will certainly be better if we travel together," she offered, "and I could use another quick blade to watch my back," she said as she extended his own knife to him, handle pointed at him.

"You know, I was ready to go this alone," he said as he took his knife back from her, putting it back in its scabbard, "but maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea. And you seem like a useful person to know." Along with the fact that he could likely throw her in front of Cazador to slow the man down at least a little bit as he made his escape, in the likely event that his old master would come looking for him. "Lead on."

They continued onward in relative silence until they seemed to loop back into the wreckage of the stranded nautiloid where Iveryn spotted a mind flayer, trapped under some fallen debris which seemed to be slowly crushing it.

"Ugh, I'd rather it be hurt than me. Do be careful," he warned as she approached the dying monster, staying relatively close as he was not exactly eager to lose his new ally this quickly and certainly not to one of the very creatures that had landed them in this predicament.

His parasite buzzed in concert with hers as the creature reached out to her, almost looking like it was calling for help. He felt her anger and hatred for the creature flow through him as the sudden telepathic channel remained open, certain she could sense his feelings for the creature as well.

Then there were images of the two of them, bowing for it in shame, lash marks from a whip covering their backs. A punishment for their feelings of hatred towards it. But the images disappeared as soon as they'd come up in his mind as Iveryn smashed the creatures head in with her foot.

"Let's go," she murmured, "we have better places to spend our time."

Once back into the sun they passed a group of dead goblins, likely killed by the impact of the nautiloid when it hit the ground and whatever blood they had left would likely be congealed by now. Not exactly an option worth his time. Even if it had been, there would have been no way he could hide it for long enough to feed on unnoticed.

Iveryn's voice pulled him out of his silent musing when she commented on what seemed to be a malfunctioning teleportation rune. The swirling mass of magic lashing out as she tried to reach out to it, as if by way of warning her for something.

"A hand, anyone?" a voice suddenly sounded from the portal as an arm suddenly popped out.

He wondered what kind of blustering mage would be able to get stuck in teleportation rune of all things when she suddenly managed to pull out the owner of the arm that had suddenly popped out of the swirling hole. They landed on the dirt with a dry 'Ooft' before both of them got back on their feet.

"Hello. I'm Gale of Waterdeep," the man said while moving to shake Iveryn's hand. He vaguely remembered some rumors around a man with the same name, who was supposedly Mystra's chosen, had fallen from her graces. Surely this was not the same man?

"My apologies, I'm usually better at this."

"No need to apologize," she reassured him, "are you alright?"

"A bit shocked, but friend it is a relief and a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Say but I know you don't I? In a manner of speaking anyway. You were on the nautiloid as well."

"True, but never mind that. How'd you get stuck in that stone?" she asked, still trying to figure out how it'd happened.

"Heh. I have no idea what transpired exactly, but suddenly the ship broke into pieces and I found myself in freefall. As was plummeting to certain death I spied a glimmer, quite near where I estimated my body to impact with less-than-savoury propulsion. Recognizing this glimmer to be magical in nature, I reached out to it with with a- Weaving of words and found myself on the other side. As it were. But how about you? How did you survive the fall?"

"Not a clue. But I survived, that's all that matters. No?"

"I quite agree, but I have the unfortunate suspicion your survival is still very much in jeopardy. Back on the ship you too were on the receiving end of a rather unwelcome insertion in the ocular region, were you not?"

"I could not have phrased that more repellently myself if I tried," she quipped.

"No use in sugarcoating it, is there? The insertee we speak of, this parasite- are you aware that after a period of excruciating gestation it will turn us into mind flayers? It's a process known as ceremorphosis, and let me assure: it is to be avoided! You don't happen to be a cleric, by any chance, do you? A doctor? Surgeon? Uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?"

"I am no strange to high-stakes extractions, but I have never handled one quite like this. I cannot cure us."

"I suppose few enough can. It's not exactly a common affliction. We're most certainly going to need a healer, and soon too. How about we lend each other a hand once more and look for a healer together?"

"Sounds like a plan, you're more than welcome to join me."

"Most excellent. A parasite shared is a parasite halved... Or something to that effect. Oh! But before you think you're about to embark on a journey with most ill mannered a man: thank you, for pulling me out of that stone. It was an act of foresighted kindness I assure you, for I have the feeling ample opportunities will present themselves for me to return the favor."

"Sooo, we've pulled a wizard out of his own portal. Tsk, hardly a promising introduction," Astarion said, not exactly enamored with the idea of traveling with the magical idiot who could get stuck in a simple teleportation rune, who, to make matters worse, also had the verbosity of an archmage who's status had gone to his head.

"Ah yes because threatening someone with a knife is such a stellar way of introducing oneself."

"Oh, I'd say it works just fine, seeing as we're standing here arguing about it," he snipped back as her golden stare stirred something within him, tugging at his senses, telling him to run.

"I am sure the happenings that are the topic of your current discussion are riveting, but I would suggest we get moving if we want to find someone who can heal us," Gale chimed in, making Astarion roll his eyes, but he had to concede that the wizard was right. They wouldn't find any solution if they just kept standing around here arguing.

"Yes, of course."

"I don't suppose you know where we are?" Iveryn asked him as she surveyed her surroundings.

"Somewhere along the Sword Coast I'd wager, Though I would not have the faintest clue as to where we are in relation to the nearest city."

"Bummer," she muttered under her breath, "Well, there seems to be a road over there, which means it is currently our best chance on finding any sort of civilization."

[fantomevoleur]

Valentine's. A day for couples. A day Makoto gets to enjoy with the one and only boy who stole her heart. It's cheesy and so unlike the Student Council President to be so... happy today, but she had a good reason. She had purchased the best chocolates she could find, and they were both pricey and delicious according to the cashier. She trusted her judgement and set out to find Akira during their lunch break.

She spotted a head of messy black hair heading for the cafeteria and quickly stopped him by tapping his shoulder. "Akira, wait!" She called out and once he turned his head, the brunette presented him with a red heart-shaped chocolate box wrapped in a dark blue bow. It even had a card saying 'to my Joker... from your Queen'.

"For you... Happy Valentine's day." The red color on her cheeks was inevitable. "Um, if you're free, I'd like to walk home with you today as well." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear sheepishly.

Another Valentine's filled Shujin's halls with lovestruck couples and students steeling their bravado to confess their true feelings towards their crush. It was a holiday of love, and heartbreak. Fifty-fifty, so long as fate's scales favored the individual's desires. Akira always felt more neutral when it came to February's festivities, minding much of his own business and quietly overserving his surroundings. He'd be lucky if one person handed him leftover handmade chocolates or a homemade, crafted card just to feel included. Yet the second-year never minded being ignored. It wasn't the first time, nor did he expect it to be the last.

Sometimes, though, a small surprise made all the difference. A few 'mysterious, unmarked letters' appeared inside his locker, each written with patience and careful writing. So some students happened to foster deeper sentiments to the delinquent transfer student? How thoughtful. His besmirched name must not have driven away all of his fellow classmates. Those notes remained in place, tucked away and safely hidden underneath his books. Their bravery for taking the first step forward was something to admire, and Akira wished he knew their names in order to congratulate them. And at the same time, let them down easy and in person.

His heart belonged to a queen, after all.

Those thoughts must have materialized into reality since grey hues spotted the brunette jogging down the breezeway. A medium-sized, heart-shaped box took his attention almost immediately as she presented it to him in celebration of today's events. The cold-hearted, student council president participating in a love-themed festival? Guess this could count as a miracle.

"Well, well, Miss Prez. I never expected you to go out of your way and buy chocolates for little ole me~." He playfully teased, smirking and prodding the woman with his brand of mischief. "The good kind, too. I must be reeeeally special if you bought this just for me." It was the truth. In his eyes, Makoto held more importance to him than most others, aside from his merry band of thieves.

She loved him. And he loved her. Completely.

Once he set the box on a nearby bench, he stepped forward and placed a chaste kiss on the top of her head. Screw it if anyone happened to be around there at the time! It was Valentine's Day after all, so he could display as much PDA as he desired. "Thank you, dear. Let's share these together later on today. Perhaps in the student council office? After school hours~?"

[fuckzachariah]

It had, as he had hoped, worked a treat. Alex was derailed from her line of questioning down the even more attractive path of berating him – she even laughed in bitter delight at the invitation. A soft smile, indistinguishable in the murky light, flitted unevenly across his face, and with it a delicate flutter teased his gut. There was, unfortunately, still nothing quite as satisfying as making her tick. It scratched an itch in him that hadn’t been tended to in years, and now he’d felt it, he worried he’d find it quite impossible to forget again. “No,” he prodded lightly at her agitate button, “because you’re unskilled at knowing when to shut your mouth.” If she could see in the dark, she would see his smirk having widened to a grin. She fell away and he stole his hands, and his air, back, his body relaxing in the wake of their shattered tension. Alex went on, needling at him as though searching for the sore spot, or perhaps just relieved to have an outlet for all that pent up tensions, and he clicked his tongue absently in his infamous way. Alex, once, had picked up the habit in his constant presence. Now, Kylie shared the arrogant tic. Before he could retaliate, and before Alex could continue her line of insult, a sharp, loud noise attracted their attention skyward. 

The lights flickered to life, illuminating their needless proximity and severing their dangerous thread before it could tangle. He glanced at her to find she had already beat him to the punch, her lips curling. His stomach responded with an appropriately humiliating lurch. It felt as though a new, silent promise had been made: this was yet another secret they would keep. From the moment they had reunited, either they or fate had conjured several convoluted ways in which to steal them into yet another private, charged interaction of which they never disclosed to another soul. Much was lost in their time apart, and yet the inherent understanding that certain things existed only for the two of them to know and keep remained intact. Intuitive, even. It was perhaps unwise of him to dwell on this unshakeable bond, or what it might mean. Instead he let his gaze slide, in a drawn-out manner, down her legs as she stood to her full height and he remained seated. A cardinal memory threatened to attack him, but he promptly swallowed it. Zach looked up at her, the corner of his mouth upturning as she taunted him. “Mm,” he hummed, getting languidly to his feet, the heat of their interaction spilling top-down from his flushed cheeks, all through him. “I guess you’ll have to just see me in those nightmares you mentioned instead.” His eyes glittered amber and wicked as he side-glanced at her.

The elevator ding!ed, the doors sliding apart to reveal Drew among a throng of security, and one particularly distinct looking tech guy. Drew, who had left hours ago, must have been informed of the power outage and returned to rescue his beloved fiancé. Maybe he even spared a thought for his imminent monumentous money-maker. Zach saluted the posse in a kind of mocking, uncomfortable with the attention. Drew’s face fell briefly from its strict, cool composition to relief as his eyes found Alex, giving her a once-over as though checking her for damage. “Oh, thank god,” he mumbled mostly to himself. He almost admired Andrew’s absolute faith in the two of them – he was either a skilled actor, or he wasn’t perturbed a bit by their solitary confinement. As he advanced toward Alex, asking “are you both alright?” Zach stepped away, avoiding collision by deftly swerving the CEO’s broad shoulder. “We would’ve been out sooner, but Alex didn’t like the idea of climbing up an elevator shaft during a power outage.” His hands went up in a playful, dismissive manner. “Which was weird.”

A heavy silence hung between them. The gauzy, half-formed image of his blonde girlfriend seemed to flicker in Zach’s mind, jolting him back to reality. Alex inhaled slowly, but deeply, the red cashmere of her sweater straining against her swelling chest as she did. She had touched a nerve, one long dormant since their last conversation all those years ago. This charged space, thick with tension was where they were most at home. They knew how to press each other's buttons, their fingers kneading and teasing the frayed edges of sanity until it felt ready to snap. Envy might have sparked Alex’s mention of Zach’s newly crowned better half, but her words had a sharper aim – to test his resolve. His actions suggested his commitment was flimsy at best. How important could Kylie really be if, right now, Zach’s hand was curled around Alex’s throat, poised to make what could be the biggest mistake of his life?

Zach recoiled, bitterness creeping into his once saccharine tone. Alex couldn’t help but laugh, her eyes nearly rolling at his snide remark. “Oh, I’m irritating? And why’s that? Because I’m skilled at knocking you off your pedestal? Isn’t that how we started in the first place?” She smirked. “Don’t tell me it’s a turn-off now.” She leaned her head back against the elevator wall, her hands resting in her lap, casual and unbothered, while Zach continued his tirade. “Mm, and who in your life tells you that you’re not entitled to everything you want? You’re such a little —” Before she could finish her thought, the elevator groaned, the harsh sound of metal grating against metal filling the area. The overhead lights flickered, casting a pale, sickly glow that made her squint as she glanced up, trying to gauge if they were in any real danger. The muffled sound of voices seeped in from outside, though it was hard to tell where they were coming from. She glanced at Zach, her lips curling into a sly smile. “Just in time.”

Rising carefully to her feet, Alex smoothed the wrinkles in her impossibly short skirt, though the gesture seemed more for show than necessity. As she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, there was a subtle air of concealment, as though she was erasing the evidence of their barely innocent exchange. “Another minute in here might’ve triggered a relapse,” she teased.

[hrts4hanniehae]

Heartless Letters Chpt 1 Teaser

Astris Nezryn Li. A. A. A. Astris Astris Astris. A student. A student. An A student. Astris. A. 

                   A

A                                                                            a

                        A

                                      A

A

                A

                                                       a

A

                                                                                                     a A

                                          a

                                                                                                                                              a

                                                                                    a                    A

                                                   A

I wanted to scream. A scream is an A. A is a scream. A scream. A person. What am I?

A scream welled up inside me, desperate for release. A scream, like the 'A' grade I relentlessly pursued. A scream that embodied my identity, my worth. Who was I?

“Ms Li, we’re here.” 3 years. 3 years of coming to this school. And every year it has remained unchanged—the same old gate, the same cobblestone and the same line of butlers to take your things. Unchanged. Uniformed. Conforming. 

“女儿啊... 好好读书... Good luck with your O levels.” My parents never came to see me. All they wanted to see was “A”. Maybe that’s why they called me “Astris”. A*. Asterix. It sounded the same to my parents whose first language wasn’t English.  

It was the same routine. The butlers would move my things into my dorm and I would spend the rest of the day revising for the first lesson the next day. But today was different. He was here. Zeng Liwei. Zeng Liwei who dethroned me in the rankings last year. Zeng Liwei and his smug smile. How could he just stand there smirking at me? How could he? 

“Li.”

“Not in the mood, Zeng.”

“I was just greeting you.” His Chinese accent resonated strongly, his attempts to conceal it were amusing.

“As I’ve said. Not in the mood.”

An idiot. He was an idiot. A sudden pressure on my back shocked me as somebody’s hands covered my eyes.

“Guess who!”

“I missed you too, Zel.” 

Zelmira Frances. The smartest girl in our school. She was so smart that she was untouchable. For three years, she had claimed the top spot in every subject, achieving perfect scores effortlessly. Dedicated, unwavering, unbreakable. Her once cascading tawny locks had been transformed into a stylish bob, and her mossy green eyes remained as enchanting as ever, drawing me in just as warmly as her embrace.

“Long time no see, Astris.” Rhory was here too. It made sense. Both Liwei and Zelmira were here. His best friend and his crush. The Honourable Rhory Byrnes, Zeng Liwei and the ‘love of his life’, Zelmira Frances. 

I’m joking. Rhory was my best friend. We’d known each other for the longest time. My mother had friends in Ireland, and by chance, one of them became Rhory's stepmother. During my formative years in Greece, he was my steadfast companion. We bonded over our shared love for ice hockey, though I eventually moved on to fencing while he remained devoted to the sport. When I returned to China, we believed we would never see each other again. Then fate intervened, enrolling us both in this boarding school.  See the rest on @/dysophien on wattpad :O

https://www.wattpad.com/story/343254400-heartless-letters

[dastardlyobnoxious]

My time with Pathfinder: Kingmaker (P.2)

Heavy spoilers for Pathfinder: Kingmaker below, didn't initially plan on this being a three-part post so apologies for that and any cohesion breaking it causes. Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/dastardlyobnoxious/718604715975426048/my-time-with-pathfinder-kingmaker-p1?source=share This part will cover my views on each of the companions prior to Act Seven (excluding Linzi) Ensuing text dump below, but thanks for reading this intro blurb.

My Companions. This'll be a brief overview of the companions and just any general thoughts I had on them and their quests prior to Act Seven, if it seems somewhat disconnected it's because it is.  (The benchwarmers) Starting with Tristian I was never sold on him even before his betrayal. I knew he was beloved among other players but I wasn't interested in romancing him and even with his super useful rest ability both Linzi and my player character largely dealt with any serious buffing or healing I needed. So when it came to his quests? It'd be something I have to revisit as his two stand-out moments are his betrayal and his argument with Jhod during the Bloom. 

On the opposite end of characters, Jaethal was easily the most evil companion, and for someone whose alignment didn't really mesh with my player character on top of her undead status and strangeness when being healed, it largely led me to dismiss her altogether. When in reality her quests were really fascinating, this pull and push of power versus morals with the penultimate build-up being Jaethals rejection of her Deity and being smited for it. When she died it wasn’t a huge blow to my team, but it was shocking with the click of a button she went from standing there to being a stain of blood and at least she redeemed herself? I don’t know if I’ll use Jaethal unless I’m going for some sort of evil playthrough but alignment be damned she was entertaining. 

Moving on, Harrim fell into this odd spot as a companion for me, originally he filled my fifth spot as his blessing buff was useful alongside being another front-line fighter, but the way I specialized him became a significant problem, I’d made him into more of a fighter then a cleric on top of his low Mobility/Dexterity making him quick to die even when buffed to all hell with Blur or other support spells. Making replacing him with Ekundayo an obvious choice, and like his character class I think I largely fumbled whatever story was going on with him. Unintentionally inciting his rage against Torag and leading him down a path of bitter madness, I always felt like I slipped up somewhere along the way, really just unsure of what I should say to someone so entrenched in Groetus. This is more just a gripe but I swear for a high priest even when he was max level he’d always have a low-resolution rate, frankly I don’t know if I ever really want to deal with Harrim again for someone you meet so early on I’m just not a fan of him? The end comes for us all eventually I guess. 

Then we have Nok-Nok, another character who I think I kind of put on ice and shot down a lot of his companion quest ideas just because it was chaotic as all and went against my alignment. Unlike Harrim though Nok-Nok was very fun, and even when he was making problems for me, who can hate a Goblin Jester? He’s someone I definitely plan to use if I ever replay Kingmaker. 

Then we have Jubliost, someone I wasn’t a huge fan of at first, from his snarky attitude to his less than careful world choice his bluntness read almost like a bitter or rude person when in fact by digging into his quests that isn’t true. From his endearing curiosity and motivation to cure the bleaching (a rather debilitating and sad way to go out) while exploring and writing about all he can. When he got so close to his award, I encouraged him to give it to Xae. It only felt right, as her existence as a ghost who could never return to her home was far too sad a fate for someone. I never really used him, on account of me not liking AOE/splash attacks until late in the game alongside not specializing him correctly.

Regongar is the last of the benchwarmers, and he’s kind of tied to the hip with Octavia for a lot of his quests. He's brash but beyond being a tad too flirtatious I never had much problem or desire to get to know him. Hearing about his and Octavia’s roots that’d led them to eventually escape the Technic League and blossom into their independence is what I admire most about him. 

(The main cast) Speaking of Octavia, like Regongar I’m happy she found her roots and was surprisingly able to reconnect with no strings attached, her abilities as a rogue-wizard mix made her into a really good marksman. Ended up probably agreeing with her and Linzi the most on kingdom management issues just because of how progressive they both were on social issues. 

Ekundayo and his wolf are second to Amiri in terms of how useful they were to my team, often nailing his ranger shots for high damage and destroying trolls. Moving on from the past and not letting rage consume yourself is the central idea of Ekundayo’s companion quest and while I wonder if things could’ve been different at the very least he isn’t vengeful or hateful any longer. Elina’s extremely obvious crush on the guy who clearly isn’t ready for romance makes me both sad and hopeful for Ekundayo’s future. Not forgetting Ekundayo’s wolf, half the reason he’s so good is because that wolf of his is the best of tanks and like Elina, Ekundayo has no clue what to do with them. 

Moving onto Amiri, her reconciliation of the past and focus on bettering herself for the future just made her an instant favorite and probably the strongest member of my crew constantly receiving some of the best gear. Her brash and upfront nature makes this really sincere and helpful character that I can’t underpin as anything but great. She isn’t stupid and breaks that idea of a barbarian being an inherent moron with the reforging of her blade as a story of complicated emotions and feelings in a largely sexist traditional group. When said group tries to execute her for being different, the one positive person in her tribe Nilak is a reluctant friend and compatriot. A lot of emotional baggage and tension reveals itself when Amiri first finds the Six Bears tribe in the Stolen Lands and a lot of that tension is only resolved because Amiri cares about Nilak and regardless of how poorly they treated her the ghost tormenting the clan because of her cannot stand in her mind. So, off she goes to confront it ultimately sacrificing herself instead of someone else being resurrected and being awarded for her bravery. Frankly, I doubt there’ll be a campaign of this game without Amiri if I can help it; her companion line is hands down my favorite of the companions. 

Last but not least Valerie, in a strange way, ended up being my favorite companion. With her high AC and tank-like nature always having enemies target and fail to strike her as they ate the party's damage and while her attack strength wasn’t the best if anyone was suited for the job of rushing ahead it was her. Her stoic nature as a fighter and diligent follower of the law is in constant conflict with her proclaimed beauty and past as a child raised to worship Shelyn. It’s a past she wished to not look back on, wanting people to value her as a fighter and person first and foremost not as some artistic piece or muse. It’s upsetting for her when her past demands she returns to face worshippers of Shelyn and artists harassing her because of her beauty. So much so, that when Linzi and others who merely mention art seem to offend and enrage her, intervention is the only thing that can be done. Early on in the game she received a scar after beating a certain obnoxious Shelyn follower in a fight and wore it as a symbol of pride until that pride for said scar turned into a confused mix of resentment and reflection. I think by the end of the companion quest line Valerie ended up better off, Shelyn healing her scar, and the intervention of the Shelyn followers ending as peaceful as one could expect. Valerie seems to find herself and at least find some respect in the pursuit of art. It’s hard to put into words what Valerie’s conclusion as a character was, it’s a complex emotional issue that she struggled with throughout Kingmaker, and it made her a stronger person in the end. Part Three: https://www.tumblr.com/dastardlyobnoxious/718899022820261888/my-time-with-pathfinder-kingmaker-p3?source=share

[natashawritesstuff]

Your relationship with Tsukishima goes through cycles like the phases of the moon. You spend weeks in a honeymoon phase where he’s doting, attentive, and sometimes, even kind only for your love for him to wane. For it to slowly shrink like how the moon does in the sky towards the end of the month. You start to hate him and the love you have all but dying, becoming so tiny it’s almost nothing. You feel nothing. So when the new moon comes again it’s a blank slate, strangers. Strangers, to lovers to enemies, and back again. Your love cycles like the phases of the moon.

It’s late, and you’re sharing his mattress in his new apartment, the one he never asked you to move into, the one you would have said no if he had. He pulls you closer and you hum. “I love you,” he’ll whisper. A phrase he rarely speaks, he feels like if he says it too much, it’ll lose its meaning so when he says it, you know he means it. 

“Love you, too.”

Waxing. 

“How is it possible for you to be such a dick!”

“Oh, and you’re perfect?”

“No, no, I’m just not an asshole!”

“I’m so sorry, I guess I’m not allowed to make mistakes,” he screams, sarcastically. 

“Oh, so you do know how to apologize.”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m not better at loving you! I want to be better, I just- this is hard.”

“Yeah,” you agree, breathless, “loving you is hard too.”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“Sure.”

“Y/N, I just can’t go all in like you want me to. I have to protect-”

“Yourself, that’s what you’re gonna say, right? Cause, you know, if it’s my heart or yours, you win every time. Glad to know you pick yourself too.” Waning.

The same night, he pulls you closer lying in the apartment he didn’t ask you to move into, you would have said no if he did. You lay your arm on top of the one he has around your waist. Instead of sinking into his touch, you break it. You remove his arm from around you and as he rolls over with a grunt you sneak out of bed. And as you stand staring at the spot in the bed that’s supposed to be yours, you feel-

Nothing. 

Waxing, waning, nothing, and back again, right?

Back again. 

Back again. 

You want it to go back again. 

Waxing. 

Waxing 

You still love him. 

You do. 

You swear. 

Back again.

Back again.

Waxing.

Waxing.

Nothing. 

You start hastily packing your things. Stuffing clothes into the overnight bag you carry every time you come over.

He’ll wake up as you exit the bedroom and grab your arm. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, his eyes darting around frantically, as he tries to take in the scene before him.

“I gotta- I gotta go,” you stutter, tears streaming. 

“What are you talking about? Go where?”

“Home.”

“This is your-”

“No, it’s not. We both know it’s not.”

“Y/N.”

“Kei, I can’t.”

“You wha-” he asks, but he knows. 

“I can’t keep waiting on the moon to make me love you again. I don’t like leaving my fate up to the stars, I can’t… I can’t-”

He pulls you into his chest and sob, legs growing wobbly but he holds you steady. 

“I know,” he sniffles, “I know.”

Your love for Tsukishima cycles like the phases of the moon. Except for the night the two of you break up, and your love for him wanes until it’s nothing, the moon has never been brighter in the sky.

Karasuno Masterlist

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based on: In the Kitchen by Renee Rapp, Hard Place by H.E.R, and Babies by KYLE, Kehlani