#it's eating all my weekends and my evenings

[hoshifighting]

how seventeen would act with reader having daddy issues

WARNINGS: it may be sensitive to some people, and there are mentions of past traumas and family issues. mostly of it is basically, seventeen and their family taking care of you <3

a/n: this was an ask that was in my inbox for a long time, sorry about this 🥺 and worse, I was writing it, and the light have gone off, so ivé lost the drabble and I cant find in my inbox, I just know that it was from my bestie hannieween, sorry about the long time 🥺🙏 I hope you like it

seungcheol: already planning how to spoil you just to make up for what you didn’t get. this man would not let you suffer through those awkward, tense family reunions. the second you even hint at feeling uncomfortable, he’s pulling you out of there and taking you straight to his family’s place. his dad, a total sweetheart. he’s the type to sit you down, ask how you’re doing, and genuinely listen. and that’s when it hits you—this is where seungcheol gets his protective streak. his dad’s got the same energy, always making sure you’re taken care of. it’s like you’re part of their family now, and honestly, it feels better than anything you’ve ever known.

jeonghan: he’s sneaky about it, but in the most loving way. like, he knows you’ve got that hole where support should be, and he’s filling it without making it obvious. he’d get his mom and dad to invite you over for a casual dinner, but then it’s all about you. “oh, y/n loves pasta, mom,” he’d say, nudging you under the table when you get shy. his parents adore you, and jeonghan’s sitting back, watching you laugh at his dad’s corny jokes with this smug little grin, like, yeah, that’s my baby.

joshua: he’d plan random trips to his family’s place, just so you can hang out with his mom. like, one weekend, you’re baking cookies with his mom, and the next, you’re playing guitar with his uncle. josh is always hovering, making sure you’re comfortable, but lowkey beaming when he sees you getting along with his family. he’s super patient, too—he never pushes, just waits for you to open up when you’re ready. and when you do... he’s holding your hand, whispering, “see? they love you, just like i do.”

junhui: he’d make sure you feel like you belong there too. he’d take you home during the holidays, and suddenly, his mom’s treating you like her own kid. jun would sit next to you at dinner, quietly making sure you’re okay, squeezing your hand under the table whenever he notices you getting overwhelmed. he’s just sitting there, watching it all unfold, thinking, yeah, this is what you deserve.

hoshi: this man would straight-up share his dad with you. like, he’d plan trips for the three of you—fishing, hiking, picnics, you name it. and he’d be so proud when you start opening up to his dad. he gets that it’s gonna take time, but when he sees you laughing at his dad’s terrible puns, he’s smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. sometimes, when hoshi’s away for schedules, you’d even hang out with his dad without him. he’ll be texting you like, “my dad loves you more than me now 😭.” and even when he’s away for work, his family still makes time for you, calling you over to hang out or have dinner.

woozi: jihoon’s not big on family talk, but he knows you are, and he gets it. instead of dragging you into his family stuff, he makes a point of creating a new kind of support for you. like, you want to skip a stressful family dinner? cool, you’re spending the night at his place, binge-watching your favorite shows and eating takeout. he’s not one for big gestures, but he makes sure you always know you’re not alone. his quiet, steady presence is the comfort you never knew you needed.

wonwoo: he’d just sit there, letting you talk, and then hit you with the most thoughtful response ever, like, “you didn’t deserve that, but you deserve everything good now. let me be that for you.” giving you the world’s warmest hug, he’d probably start joking about being your emotional support cat forever.

minghao: he fully believes in breaking cycles, so he’s the guy who helps you redefine what family even means. he’d take you to meet his ambient, his friends, his family, everywhere where he KNOWS you'll be taken care off. he’d also start little traditions with you, like Sunday morning walks or trying new restaurants, just to build something stable and comforting for you. he's not trying to be your dad—of course. but he's trying to make programs that he remembered doing with his dad and that somehow, marked his trajectory. he wants you to experience that too.

mingyu: when shit gets heavy, he doesn’t try to fix it all at once—he just sits with you, lets you cry on his shoulder, strokes your hair, and whispers, “you’re not alone, okay? you’ve got me.” when you’re ready, he’s like, “now, what do you want to do about it?” and he’ll back you no matter what. he’ll drag you out to do the most random shit—karaoke, late-night drives, baking cookies at 2 a.m.—just so you’re not stuck in your head. and when you thank him later, he’s like, “who, me? nah nah.”

seokmin: he is the kind of guy who’ll carry you—literally. if you’re overwhelmed, he’ll scoop you up like you weigh nothing and plant you on the couch with snacks, a blanket, and whatever dumb movie he picked. “you don’t need to do anything today,” he says, plopping down beside you with the softest smile. but also, he won’t sugarcoat things, but he also doesn’t let you get stuck in negative self-talk. “you’re worth more than what he made you feel.”

seungkwan: got a sixth sense for this kinda thing. you don’t even have to say the words—he knows. he’s the type to gently steer the convo every time someone in your family says something shitty, or he’ll swoop in with some sarcastic-ass joke to take the heat off you. but when it’s just the two of you, he’s soft as hell, cuddling you, stroking your hair, and reminding you that he’s your safe space now. he’d probably even offer to go with you to therapy, just to sit there and hold your hand.b

vernon: he’ll say the goofiest shit to make you laugh—like doing terrible impressions of your least favorite family members or purposely messing up on kendama. doesn’t even try to hide how much he loves you. when you’re down, he’s the type to turn everything into a you’re amazing campaign. random notes in your bag, impromptu “you’re so cool” chants, and hugs so tight they might crack your ribs.

chan: baby’s the sweetest. he’s lowkey hurt that you’ve had to deal with that kind of stuff, so he makes it his mission to show you what love and support really look like. chan’s family would love you, and he’d be so excited to share them with you. he’d plan little visits where it’s just you, him, and his parents, so it’s not overwhelming. later, he’d check in, like, “did you have fun? was it okay?” because all he wants is for you to feel loved and safe.

[starboykel]

an artist and his muse ⭑⚝²

pt1

artist! König x chubby!F!reader

!!content warnings: König is younger than canon, pistol mentioning, idk this is just fluff. Chubby reader. Extensive description of how to make a condensed milk cake. Maybe a bit out of character.

3,7k words — English isn't my first language, i apologize for any mistakes.

Since that day, you and König have been talking practically every day through the cellphone, König would often talk about his day and his new projects, sending you photos of the new paintings he was working on and recently, he started a new hobby: learn digital art. He would send you screenshots of his drawings, they were... Certainly something, it wasn't as great because he was used to work on a canvas with paint and such but, he was trying at least.

If he disappeared for 3-4 hours, you were sure he was just working on whatever his mind was thinking of, painting, digital art or even ceramic, yeah, he also started ceramic. He was trying to occupy his mind with something and it was obvious... You just didn't know he was trying to occupy his brain because you were everything in his mind.

König was having trouble painting because he couldn't focus on anything but you, his happiness was texting you everyday and looking at the selfies you send him anytime you were doing something mildly interesting, watching a movie, cooking, baking, oh god, baking, he could kill someone to taste those brownies you baked practically every weekend. He really wanted to ask you out on a date but he didn't have the guts to, you were such a pretty girl, who was he to think he had a chance with such a beautiful girl?

On your side... Well, it was the same. You were too shy to ask him out on a date, he was such a busy guy, he was painting and when he wasn't painting he was training his digital art and when he wasn't training he was doing ceramic, you didn't want to bother him. Your heart skips a beat every time he sends a photo of what he was working on, his face wasn't even on the photos but you were so in love it didn't even take too much to make you kick your feet and smile like a fool...

"Who are you talking to?" Suddenly, your father kicked you out of your thoughts, he was frowning and trying to peek on your phone as you were eating. You were already an adult but old habits never die to your father.

"M...my friend, his name is König." You reply, showing him the conversation, Anton takes a look and nods. "Your boyfriend?" He asks, you blushes slightly and shakes your head, "N-no, he's just a friend." You stutter. He gives you a look like 'yeah, sure' and then goes back to the living room, leaving you in the kitchen to finish your lunch.

You didn't have anything to do that day. You wanted to go out with your friends but they were all busy, you didn't have a photoshoot today, no modeling or something, so you would just enjoy the day, just being lazy... So you decided to bake a cake! Why not?

You looked for a recipe on the internet and found one you found interesting, 'Condensed Milk Cake'... Hmm, sounds good! And you have all the ingredients, luckily.

You grab the apron that was probably too old for its own good and protect your hair and start making the cake, it was therapeutic. In a large bowl, you pour the condensed milk, whisk in butter and the vanilla extract, over the bowl, sift four and the baking powder over the condenser milk mixture. After that, you grab the rice cooker, grease the interior with butter and pour in the batter, spreading it evenly in the rice cooker, you decide to top with some chocolate chips, put the cover on and cook for 20 minutes. After waiting, you pick a toothpick and poke the cake, it comes out clean so it means it is ready! You place a plate on top of the rice cooker pot and carefully invert. The scent of vanilla and condensed milk infested the kitchen. It was so good, you were proud of yourself, it looked delicious!

Your father walks in the kitchen, "What are you doing?" He asks, frowning slightly before he sees the cake, "Oooh, it looks good. Gimme a slice." He picks a knife and goes to cut the cake but oh no, your father didn't have the reputation of being the best cake cutter.

"Waaaaait!" You shouts, trying to stop him but your father was a man on a mission. He cuts a huge part out of the cake and walks away, you can practically see the evil smile on his face as he goes to his room, leaving you with less than a half of the cake... Goddamnit.

You sigh and decide to take a photo of the... Half cake you have, you grab your phone and try to get the best angle of it but yeah, a cake cut in half wasn't the most aesthetically pleasing thing ever.

Eating a slice of the cake while watching something was a pleasing experience at least, watching some old humoristic sitcom your father had on DVD since the 90s that he refused to get rid of was nice at best. You hear a notification coming from your phone and check it... It was König!

'Hallo, are you free tonight? I would be pleased to have dinner with you.'

You found it amusing how he always wrote it grammatically correctly, you could've never, sometimes you just forget how to write some words.

'Yeah, I'm free! Where do u wanna meet?'

'Meet me at the park, I am going to take you to the restaurant from there, at 7pm. Don't be late.'

You smile, he was always so assertive and direct sometimes, it was nice though, at least he wasn't confused about what he wanted and treated you well.

You start getting ready at 5pm, showering, doing your makeup, choosing the best clothing, fixing your hair, airdrying it and, oh god it's already 6:56pm! You run out of the house, forgetting to bring your lip oil.

You go to the park and look around for König, it was 7:04pm. You feel a cold hand on your shoulder, looking over your shoulder...

"Oh, hi Kö! How are you?" It was König! He didn't seem mad at you, good. He smiles and gives you a little pat on the head.

"I'm fine. Let's go to my car." Simple as ever. He takes your hand and leads you to the car, opening the car door for you. You two make small talk in the car on the way to the restaurant. He was wearing some nice clothes, a white button shirt that was rolled up to his elbow, black tailored pants with a belt and black shoes. It was minimalistic and he looked good on it. You could see some scars on his arms, that was interesting, maybe he wasn't always an artist.

The restaurant was nice, had a warm atmosphere and some relaxing jazz music playing. You order some alfredo pasta and chicken with some orange juice, he orders steak with onion, rice, salad, some rustic potatoes and... You lost track of the list after that, he was a bottomless pit. Oh, he ordered some apple juice for himself too.

"So, what do you like to do in your free time? When you're not doing paintings and such." You were the one to start the conversation, noticing that Konig was more of the quiet type and that, depending on him, the date would be mostly silence and eating.

"I enjoy... Uh... I enjoy television shows, I watch it when I'm... I'm not doing art..." He stuttered, not looking at you directly, you noticed that he was very nervous, his hands shaking, it was very different from the man you met before. Maybe you were starting to get under his shell.

Your soft smiles didn't help much. His mind was going a mile a second, his hand shaking and his body couldn't relax, he felt like everyone was staring at him, why wouldn't they? He's on a date with a cute girl while he looks like this giant freak, you probably don't even like him, you're just with him because you pity him youcangetsometingbetterthanhimyou—

"König?" Your soft voice slaps him out of his trance, his eyes focusing on your worried expression, "Are you okay? You seem... I don't know—" "I'm fine." He cuts you off, his hands still fidgeting underneath the table.

You were a bit confused and even a little shocked. He was so serious, confident before and now he's shaking like a wet cat. Well, he's trying to hide it but it's obvious, someone his size can't hide. You decide it's best to let him relax, stay silent for a while, let him recompose.

Well... His brain was going miles an hour, waiting for YOU to say something, to talk about something YOU like, maybe you could even forget he's there and just ramble away his anxiety... But that doesn't happen. He's waiting for you to talk and you're waiting for him to speak. Both so awkward, his anxious behavior getting into you, where you are scaring him? Why? What have you done? Did you do something that made him uncomfortable? Doeshenotlikeyouanymore-

Then, the waiter arrives after what felt not even a second, you swear you had just ordered not even 10 minutes ago. The waiter places your order in front of him and two of König's extensive list of food, the potatoes and the beef. The orange juice being placed in the middle for the both of you.

He awkwardly starts cutting his beef, the cutlery was so small in his hands that it made a task as simple as cutting a steak difficult. You eat your pasta, staring at nowhere as your mind is non stop thinking that you did something wrong. You both reached for the orange juice glass, his fingers touching yours before he flinched his hand away, just reassuring that he was scared of you on your worried brain.

The rest of the date was... Not cozy, just two looked like two pathetic wet cats that didn't know where their mama went and was scared of the world. He pays for everything, even if you insisted that you had money. You two step out of the restaurant, some significant distance from each other, and just... Staying there, waiting for the one another to say something.

"Look-" "I'm sorry-" You two speak up at the same time, eyes meeting in an anxious atmosphere, silence remains for a few seconds. "Hear-" "I apologize-" Interrupting one another again, the atmosphere getting tenser and tenser, you both take a deep breath, taking a step closer to each other. He let you talk first.

"I'm sorry, I'm not aware of what I did but I apologize for making you uncomfortable." You speak up, playing with the hem of your clothes as you try to sound not nervous.

He frowns slightly before sighing and nodding, "I'm the problem. You're not the problem, I've always been this... Social awkward, since I was a teenager. It's not your fault." He reassures, taking a step closer... Closer... Closer until he's right in front of you. He looks at you... "It's going to snow, you should go home." Before he lifts your chin and gives you a forehead kiss...

Then he turns around and walks away, you don't know that but he's panicking inside, his hands shaking and his heart beating like a drum, his face red as a tomato... That man saw you naked and is flustered because he gave you a forehead kiss! Men...

Well, you were blushing too, your mouth opened slightly in shock... The snow starts to fall, the cold feeling makes you feel even hotter inside, it has just started. You didn't know what to do so you do the same as him, you turn around and walk home... No, you can't do that. You stop in your tracks, turn back and start running towards him.

"König!" You shouts, making him stop and turn to see you. You don't know what you're doing and why but you feel like you need to do this. You reach him, panting, you weren't used to exercising. "I'm- I'm-" "You don't need to be sorry, it's okay." He cuts you off.

"No, that's not it, I-i... I-" You look up at him and you just... Can't finish your phrase, he's so handsome your heart beats and your brain stops.

He smiles softly and ruffles your already messy hair, "You shouldn't stay outside, you're gonna catch a cold... Wanna go to my place?" He speaks up, and honestly, he's being too damn bold, his heart feels like it's gonna explode out of his chest, he's trying to keep this cool guy persona but... That's not him.

You definitely didn't want to freeze outside so... "Y-yeah, sure." You nod. He takes your hand and starts walking to his car. This all feels too... Unbelievable... Damn, you're going to a guy's house after the first date? What are you? You silently judge yourself but König isn't like other guys... You hope.

The car ride back to his place was silent, some random song in German playing on the radio. His car was fine, definitely not the best or the most expensive but also not the cheapest, it was a nice car that had the necessary to live. When arriving at his place, the snow was already filling the streets with its soft whiteness, he opens the door and gets inside after you. The place was... Nice? It was a bit messy but it was comfortable.

"Make yourself at home. The TV has a little sound problem but nothing that will bother you, I'm going to take a shower, there's a few snacks in the drawers in the kitchen if you feel hungry." He welcomes you, giving you a faint smile before going to his bedroom.

You look around... Should you explore? Yeah, why not? As soon as the shower starts, you begin to wander around the house. The drawers were filled with snacks and the fridge with water, milk and egg... Nothing else. How did this man lived? Whatever. You go to the living room and turns on the TV, putting on your favorite show, yeah, the sound definitely has a problem but your ears would probably get used to it, it was some sort of faint static it could be heard on the background but whatever. As you wander through the house, the drawer closes to the door catches your eye, you open it and... A pistol and a dog tag. Your eyes widen slightly but then you frown, you take the dog tag and before you can read anything in it, a hand rips the dog tag from yours, your heart falls, your face going pale.

You gulped and looked at König, his face was dark, his eyes filled with disappointment, your eyes immediately went back to the drawer, not wanting to look at him, your hands shaking. He sighs and throws the dog tag back in the drawer and closes it. "Forgot to lock it."

You two stay silent for a while, before you murmur an "Sorry." Nervously. He shakes his head, "Don't be. It's okay to be curious... Just don't do it again." His voice was deep and dark, like if he was giving an order...

"... I'm gonna order some pizza. We can watch a movie, c'mon." He tries to sound more excited as he pulls you by the waist, leading you to the couch. You were still shocked, but trying to relax as you do breathing exercises. He tried to make small talk but you were still thinking about the pistol and the dog tag...

The pizza arrives not long after, he picks it up and goes back to the couch, placing the pizza on top of the living room mini table and putting on some movie on Netflix.

The silence was uncomfortable, the pizza munching sounds not helping. After half an hour, he pauses the movie and looks at you. "I have to explain something to you." He says in a serious tone. You look back at him and gulps, nodding.

He takes a deep breath, "I used to be a soldier, a lieutenant. I was in the army from 17 to 29, almost 30. I retired earlier because of my mental health, it was killing me from the inside." He puts his hand on his chest, "I had no choice. I've done a lot of things that shouldn't have been done and I regret it with my heart."

"You're... A war criminal...?" You ask, the tone quiet and uncertain. He shakes his head, "No... No, not that I'm aware at least." He chuckles nervously, looking away, "I've... Killed a lot of men. My hands are filled with blood... But I've never wanted it, I never wanted to be a soldier, to kill people. I've always loved art, and I'm doing what I want, what I love now and I can't escape my past, it doesn't matter where I go. My soldier self is part of me, I can't get away from it." He vents, his tone getting sadder and more self aware.

You nod, taking a breath and sighing, "I don't know how it feels, how it is to have such a hard backstory... Are you in therapy at least?" You ask and he nods, "I take meds.. I don't want to talk about it."

Nodding, you sigh, "I understand... I'm sorry for sneaking in your things, I shouldn't have done that." You clench your fists and look at your lap, feeling trapped, disappointed at yourself... Until, he takes your chin and lifts your face to look at him. "It's okay." He says, softer, making your heart beat faster. He gets closer... Closer... Closer, until your lips touch his. You immediately kissed him back, wrapping your arms around his neck. He smiles on the kiss and takes you closer by your waist until your legs are on his lap. The kiss is soft, like a make-up kiss, warm.

You were the one to break the kiss, your eyes meeting his... And he panics, "Oh verdammt— es tut mir leid— I'm sorry, you're just so pretty and I'm so awkward, I'm-" He freaks out, immediately taking his hands out of your waist. You smile and giggle.

"It's okay, I liked it." You take him by the cheek, making him look at you. "You- you did?" He asks, not believing you. You nod and smile, "Yeah." "Y-yeah?" "Hell yeah!" You giggles and kisses him, you taking the lead now. This one was much more playful than intense as the last one, you break the kiss a few times because you were giggling and he starts giggling too. He pulls you closer as he lays down on the couch, you getting on top of him. You two start laughing, apparently for no reason at all.

After relaxing, you two just cuddled, he was warm and you even warmer due to your weight. It was comfortable and the closeness was making the heart of the both of you relax. Him giving you forehead kisses from time to time. "Hey... You wanna sleep here?" He asks and you nod, "Sure, why not."

The night falls and you were used to showering before sleeping and you definitely needed one... But you had no clothes to wear! He was okay with sharing the bed with you and you didn't want to smell bad. So you asked for some of his clothes, he at first laughed but then gave you a shirt and some boxers.

For some reason, the water of his shower was freezing cold and had no heating option, so poor you. His shirt was bigger than your, that was rare, that never happened with your exes, it was nice to now have someone that was bigger than you, it makes your heart warm... and the boxers a bit loose but fitted better than the shirt, you put your hair on a bun with a satin scrunchie and go to lay with him. The heater was on so that was nice. "Goodnight." You tell him before he turns off the lights and lays next to him.

..."Can we cuddle? You're warm and I like your weight on top of me..." He asks a bit shyly, your heart beating faster. You look at him and nod, snuggling closer to him, he pulls you closer, getting you slightly on top of him. "Goodnight." "Night..." And you both fall asleep.

When you woke up he was already up. You stretch and yawn, going to the kitchen after fixing your hair (or trying) and he was already there, eating his breakfast. His eyes light up as he sees you, "Morning. I made breakfast! Eat!" He says, sounding excited. You smile and join him, it wasn't the best but it was good enough.

You two spend the afternoon together, watching movies, chatting, playing in the snow. At night, you were ready to go home. He drives you to your place, and in the door, he kisses you goodbye.

You get in the house, very happily, smiling widely and your father notices, he smirks. "Just a friend, uh?" He teases and you chuckle. "Boyfriend now, dad." You correct him playfully and he rolls his eyes.

"I knew it.”

Sorry, this took too long!! I was in a creativity block and didn't know what to do but i hope this is fun to read!!! Love yall, stay safe, xoxo from Kel. Feel free to send me asks!

[pedrosgrogu]

Born Too Late - Chapter 5

pairing/au: neighbor!joel x reader // no outbreak

Warnings: MDNI!!! SMUT (2 chapters in a row :0.. So much for slow burn), age gap, no use of y/n, i think thats it fr, dirty talk, unprotected p in v (be smart yall, wrap it up) lemme know if i missed something :) 

Summary: Sarah's conference is this week and seeing Joel is not on your list of things you want to do. Then he invites you over to talk. You need to set the boundary now, what could go wrong? (1.6k+)

a/n: i tried to write a lil more than usual bc i feel bad about inconsistent posting. (shoutout no personal life bc work/school) hopefully with winter break i can post a couple times a week. also trying to figure out how to make a taglist so if you want to be notified of new chapters, lmk!! If you have any suggestions, give em to a girl. i love to see/hear feedback :) <3

Yet again, you’re avoiding Joel like the plague. You have an unknown amount of missed calls from him. You also have conferences today. This means you have to see him, and you feel like you could throw up. He’s your last one at 5:30 p.m. The day goes by slowly, and you have lunch duty so you don’t have time to finish planning your conference notes. After lunch is the worst part of the day. Kids are tired and barely give a shit, but you have a couple good ones that you try to focus on. Sarah being one of them. The 2:30 bell rings and by 2:40 your class is empty. Conferences start at 3:30 so you finish your notes and try to eat your lunch but that sinking feeling is still there. 

By 5:15, you’ve talked to so many parents that they’re all starting to blur. You’re exhausted and would rather be quite literally anywhere else by now. You gather Sarah's notes and sit them on the table, one stack in front of you and a copy of your stack in front of where Joel will sit. Sarah really enjoys a select few books from your classroom library so you sit them on her desk for her in case she's with Joel. 

Before you see him, you smell him. The air in your classroom fills with hints of cedarwood and lavender. You look up and Sarah is already at her desk looking at the books. You stand to greet Joel. “Good Evening Mr. Miller” you reach to shake his hand but he doesn't move, he is staring right through you. “Sweet girl, you don't have to call me that.” He says, still staring. You smile and invite him to sit. “So” you start “Sarah is doing phenomenal, she loves to read and write, and is always very engaged. I pulled a few samples of her writings from the last couple weeks so you could read them. They’re the first sheets inside your fold-” “Babygirl” he says gruffly “I know my daughter, and she has excelled and exceeded every year. I'm here for you. Why have you been avoiding me?” You look at him, wide eyed. Half wanting to laugh and half wanting to cry. Your door is open and anyone could walk by and hear him, Sarah could hear him. “Joel I promise I'm not trying to avoid you” you say quietly, lying straight through your teeth. And he knows it. You stand up and walk to close the door and can feel his eyes burning through you. “I just dont think-” “I've called you more times than I can count, and you aint returned a single one. Shit baby, your bra is still on my bedroom floor. Taunting me every night.” You can feel the warmth begin to rise on your face, and between your legs. “Mr.Miller, now is not the time or the place for this conversation. If we could please get back to Sarah.” He looks at you, deadpan. “Alright, come to my house tomorrow night at 8. Sarah will be with her mom for the weekend.” Internally, you groan. Externally, “Yes sir”. You watch him stir in his chair at your words, repositioning himself. 

The rest of the conference goes well, Sarah reads some of her writings to her dad, and shows him her favorite books. He asks her so many questions about her work and she is extremely detailed in every answer. He seems like a great dad, and it puts him in a different light for you. Now he isn't only hot, and great at sex, and great at aftercare, but he's a good dad. You are so fucked. 

Friday comes and goes, yet again you're exhausted. You take a steaming shower when you get home. Shaving your legs, just because. NOT for Joel. Once out of the shower, you change into a pair of blue biker shorts and an oversized Texans crewneck. You throw your hair up in a bun and make yourself some coffee. Hoping the coffee will help combat the sleepiness, you throw yourself onto the couch and turn on some Grey's Anatomy reruns, and begin to drift into a nap. You try to fight it, but it's inevitable. 

You wake up to your phone ringing. You check the time. 8:17. “Shit” you grumble. You flip your phone open without even checking the caller ID. “Hello?” you say, groggily. “There's my sweet girl.” He says, pausing briefly. “You’re late. Better get here fast, dinners gonna be cold.” And before you can get a word out, Joel hangs up. “Fuck fuck FUCK.” You say, frustratedly. This has gone too far, and god forbid your work gets wind of this disaster. You’d be screwed. You throw your shoes on and walk next door. 

Joel opens the door right as you walk up the steps. The smells instantly take you back to that morning. You still remember how he felt inside you, how his lips felt on yours, how his hand fit around your neck so perfectly how- “You gonna come in or you just gon’ stand there?” Joel snaps you out of your trance. You follow him the rest of the way in, kicking your shoes off at the door this time. “I made spaghetti with garlic bread. Stuck it in the oven to stay warm since you tried to stand me up.” He says, grinning. “Joel look” you start, “I really appreciate this, and I really had a” “Sit down and eat. We can talk after.” He says, pulling a chair out. He walks around to the fridge, opening the door. You can't stop staring at him. His shoulders so broad, and biceps borderline busting out of his shirt. You’re in a trance. “Red or white?” he says, but you don't hear him. You’re too busy eye fucking him, completely forgetting that the only reason you’re here is to end this before it starts. He turns around and sees you still looking straight through him, undressing him with your eyes. He grins a devilish grin and you snap back to reality. “Huh? Sorry I was-” “No need to explain, I asked if you wanted red or white wine?” he says, grinning “Oh.. ummm.. White please!” He sits the glass next to you, along with your plate of food. 

Dinner goes well, you talk about Sarah and how great of a student she is. You realize Joel could go on and on about her, because he does. Before you know it, its 10:00 and you're fighting sleep again. But this conversation needs to happen. You gather the plates and wine glasses and begin doing the dishes. “Darlin’ don't worry about those. I can do them in the morning.” “Joel, we need to talk.” You say, hoping it doesn't come off too harsh. You turn the sink off and dry your hands. “Joel, I had a lot of fun a few weeks ago. But I don’t think-” he cuts you off. “Why’re you thinkin’ baby? Thinkin’ don’t never lead to nothin’ good.” He says, wrapping his hands around your waist. As much as you don’t want to, you lean into his grip. “Joel, please.” you almost moan. “I don’t want to get in trouble at work, it's a huge ethical misconduct if the school were to ever find out, especially since Sarah is in my class.” He’s kissing up your neck, and you aren't doing anything to stop him. “I just want to taste you, just one more time.” He groans into your ear, nibbling on the tip. “This has to be the last time.” you think to yourself.

You don't fight it, you give in. And you enjoy every second of it. Joel picks you up and lays you on the table. The same table you just had dinner on. Your shorts are thrown across the room and your sweatshirt is being used as back support. He’s devouring every inch of your body. Leaving bite marks in unseen places. You hear his belt hit the floor and watch his shirt peel off of his body. You moan at the sight. He lines himself up with your aching cunt. “What was all that earlier about you gettin’ in trouble at work?” he says, comically. “Joel, please not-” and before you can squeak the rest of your sentence out, he's ramming his cock inside you. Over and over. “What's wrong baby? Can’t speak?” he says, laughing. Hes fucking you so hard that the goddamn table is moving. “I need something more stable.” He grunts, picking you up and throwing you on the island, his cock never leaving inside of you. He rubs vigorous circles around your clit, watching your eyes roll into the back of your head. “Dont. Stop. Joel.” You manage to say in between breaths. “I don’t ever plan to babygirl.” He says, rubbing faster. Your release is on the horizon. Everythings gone white and all you can focus on is the sound of skin slapping skin. Your back arches and you scream with pleasure. “Let it out babygirl, cum for me.” Just as you begin to come down, you feel Joel's cock tense up inside you, and he falls to your ear, moaning. He pulls out and you moan gutteraly. You feel the warmth of his seed dripping  Yet again, he disappears and reappears with a warm washcloth. Cleaning and kissing every inch of your body. 

You get cleaned up and dressed. Joel puts on a pair of sweatpants, no shirt. You could go for round 2 but 2 times is 2 too many. You begin to put your shoes on. “Darlin’, why don't you stay the night?” You instantly get nauseous, and feel tears? Maybe? You barely know this guy, what the fuck? “Joel, I told you. This cannot happen. Not again.” You say, trembling. “We can-” You cut him off. “No more Joel.” and you open the door and walk out. Leaving him just as quickly as you found him.

Masterlist - Chapter 4

[thursdayinspace]

ficlet (breaking up just doesn't work for them)

or: thing that can stand on its own but might also maybe possibly be a WIP now, who the fuck even knows anymore, my WIP folder has given up on me at this point. Rating: Explicit

tagging @today-in-fic

---

They shouldn’t. They said they wouldn’t do this anymore. And she knows it’s the right decision—they can’t risk it interfering with their work, with their partnership. What they have together is too important. That hadn’t stopped her from spending the weekend on the couch crying after they’d decided to end it. And he’d been quiet on Monday morning, looking like he hadn’t slept in days, and the pain in his eyes every time he’d looked at her told her he was as heartbroken as she was.

It’s been weeks now. And she misses him like a severed limb even though they’re together all the time. But he doesn’t put his hand on her back anymore. He looks quickly away every time their eyes meet. She understands. He’s hurting the same way she is. She’s starting to wonder if they made the right decision. Some days it feels like she’s losing him, and she has to excuse herself and step outside for a moment, sit down somewhere out of view because her head is spinning as she tries to stop herself from hyperventilating. She knows it wouldn’t take more than a single look, a single touch to have him in her arms again, but she can’t, she can’t. They said they wouldn’t.

Five weeks. That’s how long they last before he knocks on her door on a Wednesday night after a long day at the office where they barely exchanged a word. He looks awful, like he’s been crying, and her heart hurts in her chest.

“Send me away,” he says, his voice breaking on the last syllable. “Please send me away.”

She doesn’t answer, keeps one hand on the door. She should close it. She should step back and let him in. She shouldn’t look into his beautiful sad eyes that cut into her soul and destroy her utterly until she feels tears prickling behind her eyes. She stands frozen in speechless indecision as the seconds tick past and give him her answer, and his palms framing her face make her paper-thin walls crumble. His first kiss is tentative but she can feel him trembling as she puts her hands on his chest, she can feel the pounding of his heart, and she wraps her arms around him and jumps as he lifts, her legs coming around his hips. She kicks the door closed once he steps over the threshold. Neither of them speaks as he carries her to the bedroom.

Touching his naked skin as he stretches out next to her isn’t the comfort she expected; it makes her desperate for him until she feels like she’s shaking apart with the love that’s pushing at the confines of her being. Finally he meets her eyes, the hunger in them stealing the breath from her lungs. All she can do as he kisses his way down her body is to close her eyes and put her hands in his hair. She can’t move, all her muscles are gone. She’s his now to do with as he pleases.

His mouth on her makes her moan and arch her back off the mattress. There are no words, not after these past few weeks, not for the magnitude of this love that only managed to grow during their separation. But she understands what he’s telling her. There are no words, but his mouth is saying everything she longed to hear for so long. His lips closing around her clit, his tongue pushing into her, the sounds he makes as he presses in closer, buries his face deeper against her and eats her out like he’s been starving. There’s relief and ecstasy in his voice as he gives himself to her, gives her what she needs.

Her orgasm washes through her in wave after wave of release so intense it makes her tears finally spill over; she’s coming for the first time in five weeks. She hadn’t even been able to touch herself with the loss of him numbing every part of her body and soul. He waits until she’s done before he crawls back up the bed, waits for her nod before he lowers himself between her legs and pushes into her, stretching her, filling her so completely. She’s always loved his size, but she welcomes it more than ever now. He’s everywhere.

His thrusts are slow and hard, his hands hooked around her shoulders to keep her in place, and she’s pinned to the mattress beneath him. He’s taking her, claiming her, and she digs her nails into his back, knowing he likes when she marks him, she’s seen him twisting around in front of a mirror admiring the scratch marks on his skin. He fucks her like he owns her, and he does, he does. The same way he’s given her ownership of his heart a long, long time ago.

She knows he needs to come, she can hear it in his breath, can feel it in the controlled, forceful roll of his hips, but he makes her come again first, and this time it happens slowly, the pressure building and building until she falls over the edge with a final push. She can’t breathe, can’t make a sound, her whole body is alive with pleasure that won’t end as he keeps going relentlessly even when his movements become frantic, erratic. He waits, he holds on until she’s spent, her body unclenching, sinking down against the rumpled sheets.

She holds him as he lets go, as he buries himself deep inside her and cries out, and she’s missed this more than she can fully understand. He’s shaking in her arms after he’s done and she wonders if it feels like this for everyone, like the universe isn’t big enough for everything she feels.

They don’t say the words. They don’t have to. They both already know.

[cavedraconem]

Local Maximums

A while back I read an opinion piece my a woman who was upset about the state of grocery shopping these days. I can't really disagree with the basic premise that food in NZ is too expensive and this causes a lot of trouble for people who are living paycheck to paycheck. And shopping at the supermarket can be pretty stressful for a variety of reasons!

BUT, when the writer started to describe her shopping process... it was a massive odyssey. Of a Saturday she was dragging herself and her kids through multiple different shops - a Pak n Save, a Countdown, a fruit & veggie shop, maybe even a butcher as well - looking for the cheapest everything to stretch her budget, the particular whatever her husband wanted, the brand of snacks that her autistic child would eat. Of course she was sitting in traffic and fighting for parking and struggling with the kids and navigating trolleys at every single one of these locations. It sounded incredibly stressful! And she was incredibly stressed about it by the time she got home (and so were the kids).

"Surely just buying food shouldn't be this difficult?" she cried. And, well... no, I don't think it should be. Obviously I don't know every detail of this woman's life and I probably have extreme DINK privilege, but the ordeal she tried to pose as relatable seemed to me largely self-inflicted. Some of these issues seem trivially solvable: if you know your kid will only eat one type of snack, why wouldn't you just buy ten boxes at once? Can you plan ahead and click & collect any of these shops so you don't have to drag the kids around the supermarket itself? Can you pop out by yourself on a quiet evening?

And then we get into some more speculative cost-benefit questions that will depend on the exact details. Are the vegetables from the fruit & veggie shop cheaper enough to make up for the petrol you spend driving there? (Petrol is also expensive in my beautiful country.) What value do you really place on your time and stress? Is the money saved or the special thing for your husband really, genuinely worth the effort? If you are doing all of this work to save money, could you instead work a bit more to earn more money instead? Add a couple of extra hours a week onto your contract so you can afford to shop at a nicer supermarket or get groceries delivered, and save that much time or more on the weekend, plus less screaming from your children.

(By the way, I got that last idea from an old flatmate of mine. His philosophy was that it was better for him to work an extra hour every night and get takeaways for dinner than to spend that hour cooking something cheaper but not very good. I would have been more convinced by this [and his related opinions about division of labour] if he hadn't been allowing his PhD student girlfriend to cook him literally three meals a day.)

Anyway, this writer spectacularly failed to make her problems relatable to me, but there probably is something to be learned here. It's about how easy it is to reach a local maximum in your life: where you look at what you're doing and think, this is the best way I could possibly be doing it. But you're wrong! Maybe you've optimised your routine along one axis (e.g. cost) but totally neglected other axes (e.g. time/stress). You're making tradeoffs that you don't realise you're making. Things that you think are non-negotiable might actually be pretty easy to compromise on. It can take an outside perspective and a bit of convincing or experimentation to even realise that other possibilities exist, and maybe some of them are even better than what you're doing now.

So, in the end it's a good reminder to me to question my routines and ask whether I've trapped myself in any local maximums. What is stressing me out now that could be easier? Does everyone else have so much trouble with this? What opportunities am I missing? Surely it shouldn't be this difficult?

[echantedtoon]

A Lovers' Circle (Poly Haishira x Reader) Ch18 Flamboyant Cooking

(Hearts conquered so far: Sanemi, Giyuu, Gyomei, Rengoku, Kanae, Mitsuri, and Shinobu. Only five more to go. Can you guess who's next? Note that I don't know Tengen's Wives' birthdays or favorite deserts. I'm just making it up for story. Art not mine found on Pinterest.)

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Love is a beautiful thing.

It could move mountains, heal others, or even start a war. But you can also put love into things you do. Whether it's knitting, working out, or in your case packing up some of the food you made for Giyuu and Shinobu.

"That smells devine. What are you making?"

"Okonomiyaki and some caviar salmon onigiri." You smiled happily over your shoulder and into the living room where your boyfriend was sitting on your sofa and held a book in his hands. One carefully holding the book while the other was pressed into the pages to read the brail that was written on it. But he had his head turned when he smelt seafood. "I also have some umurice and yakisobapan." 

"Ah. I thought as such. If my nose doesn't deceive me, then I swear I smell something sweet as well." He rose a brow as the sounds of familiar footsteps skipped happily along the wood floor and a scent suddenly grabbed his attention with a hum. "Strawberries?"

"Strawberry sando sandwiches to be exact." He turned his head following the feeling of her pushing his hands from his lap as an unmistakable tray was placed down in front of him. "Didn't think I'd let you go hungry did you?"

"Hm. And I am to assume those are the sando sandwiches you speak of?" Amused he tilted his head but was not prepared for the kids to his lips that got him to drop his book on the sofa and an immediate pink color rise to his face. 

"Mwah! Yes.~ And some tea just how you like it." Another kiss this time softly placed to his forehead making his face a deeper pink as she giggled. "Now you go ahead and eat lunch. I have to finish packing up all this food I made."

He blinked before a hand covered his face. "Goodness. I might never get used to that."

"Then maybe I should kiss you more often to get you used to me "

"Gods above. You'll be the death of me."

She giggled again before footsteps retreated. "A death worth while.~ Now eat up. I'll be needing your help if I'm going to be delivering all this food."

You heard a few chuckles as you walked back into the kitchen and gave a sigh as the sight of all the food you still needed to pack up was still placed on the kitchen table, counter, and stovetop.  There was the food you'd made for Giyuu and Shinobu of course. Kanae had mentioned to you that she'd talked her sister into eating healthier and start cooking more often so you wouldn't have to cook for them anymore which was a really kind gesture. Most of the food you cooked was actually for Mitsuri whom asked you to make her a few certain deserts she's been wanting minus the ohagi Sanemi requested shyly last Friday.

So guess who spent all Thursday afternoon and all weekend baking. Your kitchen might as well have been a sauna at this point. It was hot and you had to open the window slightly to not overheat despite the cold outside. You just needed to get these all packaged up and ready to be given out tomorrow. 

As if fate was testing you again, a familiar sound sounded off as you were handling some more fruit sando sandwiches intending to pack them up for Mitsuri.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

Both your heads turned towards the door instinctively before you sighed and shouted at the top of your lungs from the kitchen. "The door's open! Come in!"

A moment of silence passed by before the doorknob turned with a creak and the front door opened up with a rush of cold air that had Gyomei shivering. A moment later a head of red hair stuck itself inside with a wide smile. 

"Hello!," Kyojuro called as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. 

You paused as the familiar man made himself known but it was your boyfriend who spoke up first "Kyojuro, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Tengen planning Makio's birthday party?"

"It's already been planned out!," he answered loudly, "I just wanted to stop by and speak to Y/n on a small favor!"

"Oh?.." Gyomei hummed again raising a thoughtful brow. "I see. She's just in the kitchen through there. You'll find her busy however."

"Not to worry. I don't intend to bother her for long!" You blinked as footsteps approached and a second later the bright cheery man himself was standing in the doorway, bright orange scarf around his neck and beaming at you. "GREETINGS, Y/N! Apologies for dropping in like this but I had something to tell you! I hope I'm not interrupting!"

"Uh." You blinked before finishing wrapping up a banana sando sandwich in plastic wrap. "No. Not at all. It's good to see you again, Kyo."

"LIKEWISE!!"

"How can I help you?"

"I bring good news! Makio's said she'd be happy to celebrate with everyone there and has extended that invitation to you!" He sounded so happily at you. "If you're available tomorrow then you can join the girls for their day out!"

"Tomorrow?" 

"Yes!" He tilted his head. "Is that a bad time?"

"Oh. No but it's just that I have a lot of food to deliver." You gestured to the sandwiches you had just wrapped up with plastic wrap. "And I have some more to bake before today's over."

"Ah! I see! If you'd like you could just bring it along! Everyone will be in one place anyways!"

"I guess that could work. By the way, what favor did you want to ask me?"

"Hm? OH! I nearly forgot!" He slapped a hand to his forehead. How could he have almost forgotten about why he came all the way here for? "Senjuro rally enjoyed the sugar cookies you had made for our party and was wondering if you'd be willing to give our mother the recipe for them!"

Senjuro? Oh that was Kyojuro's younger brother. You nodded happily. "Sure! I have the recipe over there." You pointed turning around. "Just give me a minute and I'll write you a copy."

"THANK YOU! I'm sure my brother will be so happy!" He beamed watching as you giggled and started towards a small shelf with a few cookbooks laid upon it. After a moment his orange eyes wondered curiously over the many Tupperware containers and wrapped up food, only to pause when something caught his eye. "Is that nerikiri wagashi?"

You hummed briefly looking over your shoulder noticing the way Kyojuro eyed the pastel colored, flowery looking deserts. "Oh. Yeah. Mitsuri asked me to make her a few deserts after she found out I gave Giyuu some food. You can have a few if you want."

"Don't mind if I do!" You turned back to the books as he quickly plucked up one and popped it into his mouth. "TASTY!!" You gave a chuckle heading him yell out before helping himself to another sweet treat. "UMAI!! This is delicious!"

"Thank you!" You didn't look up. Just starting to flip through the book for those sugar cookies recipes.

"This reminds me of Hinatsuru's cooking at the cafe! She makes a lot of those cakes and sandwiches you can order off the menu! Sometimes she'll even make everyone's favorite deserts."

Your head slowly rose.. before you looked over your shoulder at him putting another one into his mouth. "Really?..What are their favorite deserts?" He hummed in question. "Tengen and his wives."

"Oh! That's easy! Suma adores chocolate! She can never get enough of it! Hinatsuru is more of a daifuku person and I'm not sure about Makio. I do know she enjoys purin pudding though. Tengen's easy to please. All you have to do is give him rock candy."

You blinked. "Tengen likes rock candy?" He nodded. "I thought someone like him would like something fancy like creme brulee."

"Pfft. Hahaha! He does give that impression doesn't he?" He shook his head. "No. He likes rock candy because it reminds him of jewels. He likes to wear pretty jewelry and I suppose when the light bounces off rock candy it looks like the jewels he wears. 'The flashiest Candy' as he calls it."

You giggled. "Well that's one way to put it-" A growling sound caused the both of you to pause.. before you blinked. "Oh. Are you hungry?"

He sheepishly rubbed at his neck. "I'll admit I haven't eaten since breakfast and seeing your food does make me hungrier."

"Well it'll take me a second to write the recipe. Why don't you go sit down and I'll get you something to eat."

His head perked up immediately. "Really? You'd cook for me like you do for Giyuu?"

You nodded. "I have some extra food I can spare. Go sit down and I'll get you some unagi."

"I was right! Mitsuri really should've gone with the angel costume for you!"

"Oh stop it and go sit down."

 You were already going to get him something to eat as he turned and walked into the living room. Only to be slightly caught off guard to find Gyomei staring at him silently with a raised brow. It took him aback a little bit but he shook it off and instantly went to sit in the armchair across from him. A moment later you followed after with a plate of grilled eel and rice and something for him to drink. He beamed as you handed it over to him before leaving again for the kitchen. 

Gyomei continued to stare at him as he began to eat the food given to him. Humming as the delicious taste bathed his taste buds in rich flavors. "MMM!! This is delicious! Y/n's cooking is truly amazing!"

"Is that so?"

"Hahaha! She's a perfect chef and such a kind person. I swear it's almost as if we're married and we're her husbands"

"Ah. Is that right?" Gyomei's hum only made the flamed haired man raise his own brows. "Kyojuro, if I didn't know better I'd say that quite a few of you are starting to display symptoms of liking her."

"Why wouldn't we? She's a lovely person!"

"I'm speaking of romantic feelings."

Rengoku paused. Well raised to his open mouthed smile as Gyomei silently kept staring at him. Silence between the two of them persisted until Gyomei calmly turned back to his food and raised the cup of tea to his lips. 

"I'm not angry with any of you just for the record. It would be stupid of me to be angry with my partners liking someone I also love considering the nature of our relationship...But do keep in mind that even if Y/n is in a relationship with me and is perfectly fine with my relationship with all of you, that she may not wish to return the affections from all of you." 

"...I understand." Orange eyes turned back to his food. "I hope you don't feel like we crossed any of your boundaries."

He held up a hand sipping his drink. "I'm not at all upset. I should've expected something like this to occur. But please keep in mind to respect the wishes of my girlfriend concerning her wants in a relationship."

"I promise you that we will. You've always been understanding."

A huff and smile was sent his way. "With you all I always will be "

You had returned from the kitchen about ten minutes later after wrapping up the food a little bit more so Kyojuro could have some time to eat. The cheery man thanked you for the recipe and food before bidding you both goodbye and leaving but not before letting you know where the birthday party will be taking place. 

"The girls are going out shopping and to the spa again but we're celebrating the party at Tengen's home. You can come over and give everyone your food then."

Sounded like a great plan to you! You'd be able to deliver everything to everyone on time and wouldn't have to worry about traveling to so many places in one day. Now you just had to take care of the obligatory birthday present.

***********************************************

Footsteps collided along the sidewalk up towards a home you were unfamiliar with but wouldn't really be too surprised by. A fancier side of town for sure with the bigger houses and fancier structure. You really didn't come to this part of town too often. Aunt Dakita did a lot though for clients or high social events she was invited too. Honestly it didn't surprise you but how many different people she knew, but the fact that Tengen was able to live here on a college student's salary was very surprising to you.

What the heck did he do for a living?!

"He works in a host club and bar! He's a very popular entertainer!"

Rengoku was more than happy to satisfy your curiosity on the drive over. You sat beside him on the passenger side with Gyomei uncomfortably squished in the seat behind you. True to his word, Kyojuro had swung by early in the morning to help you get everything there. And by that he meant picking you both up and driving you to Tengen's home himself, which was a nice gesture even if you didn't expect it. You thought that Tengen and his wives lived with Kyojuro since the five of them were all together an item but you guess not. 

Honestly if Tengen was a popular entertainer between classes then it'd explain why he could afford to live here, and you weren't surprised by the news of him being an entertainer. He certainly had the looks to pull it off and the personality to back it up. 

"How much longer until we get there?," you asked him looking out the window at one house that had a fancy birdbath in front of it.

"It's just around the corner!," Kyojuro assured you with a smile. "Don't worry!"

Thank goodness. You were getting worried about how squished your boyfriend was in the back seat despite him not complaining a bit. Kyojuro turned a corner and continued to drive until he slowly came to a stop right in front of a three story house. You took a look at it before proceeding to exit the car and take a moment to look over the large house. Wow. Other than the one campus dorms, these might be the biggest homes you've ever seen. 

You didn't doddle long when Gyomei emerged from the car and quickly stretched out his back with a hiss of relief just as Kyojuro popped the trunk, leaning into it. A moment later he reemerged holding two giant paper bags in his arms. With the amount of food you ended up working late into the night before to work on, you had to stuff them all into three giant bags in order to hold it all. You went to go retrieve the third bag but Gyomei had beaten you too it already picking it up into his arms and closing the trunk. 

Wordlessly, you followed Kyojuro as he nodded his head towards the home. You both took his initiative and walked up to the doorway where you were slightly surprised when Kyojuro just struggled to hoist the bag up into his arms to free one hand and just opened up the door without knocking. Sure his boyfriend (and girlfriends) lived here but you expected him to knock first before he just waltzed on in. Followed by Gyomei and then yourself timidly looking inside.

"WE'RE HERE!!"

"It's about time, Kyojuro! What the hell took you so long?!", Sanemi's voice demanded from inside the house. He didn't see you until Gyomei moved out of the way and he quickly paused, annoyed frown disappearing immediately upon seeing you. "Oh..Well nevermind then. It was for a good cause."

"Y/N'S HERE!!" Mitsuri gasped turning around from where she sat watching something on the TV.

"Hi, Everyone!," you greeted with a slightly tired smile and wave. "Sorry if we're late. It was my fault for sleeping in."

You looked around as you spoke and inside was a...Regular living room?? When the door gave away you weren't sure what you were expecting but a regular looking living room wasn't it. It had a regular second hand looking leather couch facing a decently sized TV mounted to the wall, along with a few shelves against the opposite walls covered in knick knacks next to a coat wrack, along with two doorways. One looking like it lead into another hallway and the other looking like it lead into a kitchen area. It-....wasn't fancy?? Certainly wasn't expecting that. With the location of the home you had thought you would be walking into one of those rich people's houses you'd seen in the movies. 

You managed to push your gaze back to everyone else in the room only to be met with a pink and green blur, one moment later you were being bear hugged by a squealing Mitsuri. "EEEEE!!! IM SO HAPPY YOU GOT INVITED! WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN!!"

"Good to see you too, Mitsuri." You patted her sides with your arms pinned by her. "Sorry again for being late." 

"Don't apologize." Sanemi approached getting off the wall he had been leaning on and gently prying his partner off you. "C'mon, Mits. You're suffocating 'er."

A sigh of relief escaped you as the bear trap hug was released allowing you to breath. "Thank you.'' You took another look around finding most of everyone still watching the movie playing and Kyojuro hoisting the bags into his arms more. Oh right. You should probably hand out everything already. "Sanemi.' He rose a brow at you. "I got your the ohagi you asked for."

He perked up immediately. "Shit. Really?"

You nodded. "Hang on a second." Gyomei blinked as you shuffled past Mitsuri and just grabbed the giant bag out of his hands. Paper crinkling sounds reached his ears as you just shoved your hand inside, digging around until you pulled out a small box out and handed it over to an expectant Sanemi.

"Fuck yeah!" Taking it in his hands, a sweet scent filled his lungs as he inhaled and sighed out. "That's the good stuff."

"Mitsuri, here's all the deserts you wanted." She squealed out as you just handed her the bag, no doubt she'll have already eaten everything before you girls go out for Makio's planned shopping spree, and then you turned to Kyojuro. He didn't say anything as you took a whole second bag, walked over, and plopped it into Giyuu's arms. "This is for you two. I tried a few European dishes I found online so hopefully it tastes good."

Giyuu blinked looking down into the bag before looking up at you and smiled. Surprising Obanai next to him so much the masked man dropped the TV remote. "Thank you so much. I'm sure Shino and I will love it."

You smiled turning back around and noticed something you didn't see at first glance. There was lots of paintings along the walls. Small paintings, big paintings, landscapes of cities and nature, one giant portrait of Kanae, another one of two portraits of people you didn't know, one abstract art, tie dye you think, and a few other art forms you were unfamiliar with but each one looked more beautiful than the last. Until you got to one painting in particular.

It was the biggest painting you've ever seen. About a yard wide and as long and tall as a full length mirror. Probably because the painting WAS of a mirror. A beautiful full length mirror with a golden frame sat upon a heavenly landscape of clouds and sunset coloring, it's reflection carried on through a small stream originating from the base and threatening to carry away the stars falling from the sky around it. After a moment Kyojuro blinked at your awed stare and turned his head to see exactly what you were looking at.

"Ah!" Realization caused him to perk up. "I see you've noticed one of Tengen's more larger pieces."

"It's beautiful." You stared in awe at it.  "How could someone do that with just paint alone?"

"Flashy ain't it?" Both you and Giyuu jumped and whirled around only to make eye contact with wine red eyes as Tengen smiled down at you both from the doorway behind you leaning against it's frame. "I call it Mirrored Dreams. Part of a project I did back in my first year of Uni."

How did he sneak up on you without you hearing him?! Once the initial shock wore off you sighed before smiling at him in greeting. "It's really beautiful. Where did you get the idea for it?"

He shrugged. "Had a really weird fever dream after reading Through The Looking Glass and eating bad take out. Though I'm not complaining about the outcome of it since it is one of my favorite pieces." Leaning off the doorframe he made his way past you both into the room, walking a little bit sluggish and tired. 

"I think it's a really beautiful piece, Tengen," you complimented him with a smile. He took pause to look back at you as you did so. "You're a very talented painter."

He huffed a chuckle after a moment. "Thanks. I like to think I'm pretty decent at it."  He turned back to Kyojuro which made you blink again tilting your head at his form. "Hey, Best Buddy. Finally decided to join the party huh?"

He nodded back to him. "INDEED!! Apologies for our lateness!*

"Eh. Don't mention it." A hand tiredly reached out to rub his face. "Makio's almost ready to go so...you guys can just hang out here until she's ready."

Again he nodded. "Sounds like a plan! Then we can all decorate for the party when they come back!"

Tengen nodded mumbling something you couldn't make out before he yawned and shuffled towards the kitchen area past Kyojuro. "Go ahead and make yourselves comfortable." He waved a hand behind him as he disappeared. "I'm gonna get me some coffee."

You watched as he fully disappeared into the kitchen before slowly turning to Giyuu in question. "Hey..Is he ok?" Giyuu hummed in question turning to you. Your arm gestured towards the kitchen. "Tengen. He seems pretty down today." Usually he'd greet you with a flirt or big cheeky grin when you both spoke, but he seemed tired and a bit upset. 

"Oh. He's just been going through a bad patch of art block recently," he explained, "Don't worry. It's nothing that he hasn't gone through before. He's usually mopey and tired during these patches."

"Like you, Tomioka?"

Giyuu shot Obanai a look. "What are you talking about? I'm happy right now."

Obanai stared at Giyuu's unchanging expression as you calmly reached into Giyuu's bag before pulling out one Tupperware container and walked over to Kyojuro. "Uh..You are?"

"Yes. Can't you tell?"

"Uh ..I'm going back to the movie."

A paper crinkling sound went off as you took the bag from Kyojuro and peered inside. F/c eyes peered into the kitchen area... before you slowly walked into the kitchen after Tengen. However you were surprised when you saw the state of the kitchen. Like the living room it seemed rather normal with a stovetop oven combo, a microwave, and what looked like a hand me down table and chairs. Not as fancy or 'state of the art' as you were expecting to find. Maybe Tengen didn't like showing off his wealth?

Speaking of the art major, you found him with his back back towards you in front of a countertop. 

SNIFF.

You blinked at the sounds of a sniffing noise before his arm reached up to you guessed rub at his face before his other arm reached up to open the cabinet above him. Tengen just pulled out the first cup his hand touched without bothering to close it. The hot coffee pot lifted up to poor the black liquid into the porcelain mug as the smell of French vanilla bean frappe filled his senses. The hot stinging liquid burning his tongue when he gulped it down. Adding a sense of warmth to his body he desperately craved.

A sigh escaped his lips as the cup lowered from his lips. "Gods I needed that."

"Tengen?" 

"SHIT-!!" The hot cup fumbled in his hands as he fumbled to not drop it before whirling around to your face.

"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." You took a step back to give him space as he blinked at you. "I just...W-Wanted to thank you for inviting me is all. I appreciate it." You decided not to comment on the pink around his eyes 

Quickly he wiped at his face and plastered on a smile towards you. "Oh. H-Hey, Pretty Lady! Aw. You don't gotta thank me. Any girl of Mei's is welcome here!"

Your brows furrowed. "Right. Are you..ok?"

"Fit as a fiddle! Why wouldn't I be?"

You decided not to comment on the fact that he looked like he was about to cry before placing the Tupperware container on the table and sliding it over to him. "Here. Looks like you could use a good meal. Whenever I was upset my Aunt used to cook me my favorite snack to cheer me up."

"Upset? Pfft. Who's upset?" He asked waving off a hand as your brow rose higher at him. "It's my wife's birthday today! There's nothing to be upset about!"

".... It's beef sukiyaki." You continued opening up the top and nudging it over to him more as he blinked. "Eat if. You'll feel better with a nice warm meal in your stomach. And before I forget I made you this." He still watched silently as you reached into the paper bag you still held before pulling out a second small container and held it out to him. "Here. I made this for you."

...For a long moment he said nothing. Tengen looked at the box, then at you, then back to the box... before he slowly took it from you, staring at it a little bit more before talking. "What is it?"

"Homemade rock candy. Kyojuro mentioned it was your favorite candy." His eyes snapped back to you. "I was already making some for Mitsuri and I figured you'd like some too." You smiled at him brightly. "I hope you get free of your art block soon. I'd love to see more of your paintings!" Your arms held up the last bag. "In the meantime I'd better get Makio the present I made her before we leave. Thanks again for inviting me, Tengen."

He said nothing as you turned around to exit the kitchen, ironically bumping into the women in question finally coming downstairs to join the crowd only to be met with you hopping over to them with a bag of goodies to pass out. Eventually the man blinked again slowly looking back to the box in his hands and going to lift up the top to peer inside. What he was met with was the sunlight hitting the rocky, jagged surface of what looked like multicolored gems. Glittering with the light bouncing off and enticing him to eat them. He did. Reaching in slowly to break off a peace of a large red chunk just as Suma's voice squealed out.

"Choco cornets!"

The red gen glittered between his thumb and pointer finger before he decided to pop it into his mouth and chew down. "Huh...Cherry. Doesn't taste too bad."  Wind red eyes looked at the other open container next. The smells of beef, mushrooms, and a few other ingredients wafted from it as he leaned down to inhale it's scent only to him. "Whaddya know. Smells good."

Suma was absolutely destroying the choco corners you made her as Makio was thanking you for the homemade custard pudding you gifted her when he bothered to reach in and pull out a warm piece of stewed beef before also popping it into his mouth. Huh... That tasted pretty good too! Pretty nice of her to gift it to him. As he ate, he curiously pulled out another rock candy to examine. Dark blue. Wonder what this tasted like. Blue raspberry? Blueberry? Grape maybe? These sparkled like real gems almost. Kinda reminded him of all the pretty blue jewelry Suma always-....

Wait a dam minute-

His head perked up wide eyed. Eyes snapping back to the living room. Gems and beauty. And not just any beauty.

INNER BEAUTY. THE MOST PURE RAW KIND OF BEAUTY THAT ONLY THE PURE OF HEARTS HAD.

"THAT'S IT!" 

The box of colorful candy was tossed to the side as a raw desperation busted throughout his chest and took ahead of his legs, carrying him to the living room with such speed it startled everyone else inside. Only one person caught his interest however as f/c eyes turned to him surprised.

"YOU!!"

You jumped dropping the now empty paper bag as Tengen was suddenly looming over you with a focused, tense look in his eyes and his hands gently grabbed your cheeks.

"You're perfect. YOU'VE GOT TO BE MY NEXT MUSE!!"

....You blinked. "What?"

[laurenairay]

A reason to start over new - T. Jost

Summary: It’s been five years since Lucy has seen her ex-boyfriend Tyson. Can his grandparents’ Christmas party fix their broken hearts?

Happy birthday @senditcolton! This is my fic for your birthday bingo – I had a lot of fun with this one! I chose The Hand Touch, Exes to Lovers, Free Space (Resolved Angst), “You’re Too Good for Me”, and Winter Romance, making it a full bingo! Hope you have a wonderful day Nicole.

A massive thank you to @jostyriggslover96 for reading through this!

Words: 3.3k

Warnings: angst, flashback to breakup, some bad language, self-deprecation.

Title from The Reason, by Hoobastank

~

I've found a reason for me, To change who I used to be, A reason to start over new, And the reason is you.

~

“Oh wow, Val and Jim have really outdone themselves this year, haven’t they?”

Lucy glanced around at the Christmas decorations surrounding them, smiling at her mom’s words.

“Full of holiday cheer, as always!” she nodded.

She took off her thick coat and gloves, glad to be out of the icy air, hanging them up on the rack put out for guests.

“Now honey, if it’s too much, you can slip out back and head home, okay?” her mom said seriously, albeit quietly.

“You said that last year. And the year before that. For the last five years, actually,” Lucy mused.

“And I’ve meant it every year. They might be our neighbours, but you are my baby. And my priority, always,” her mom said seriously.

Not for the first time, Lucy was thankful to have the mom she did.

“And I appreciate it. But I’m going to be fine,” she said, smiling fondly.

“Alright, if you’re sure. You just send me a sneaky text if you change your mind though, yes?”

“Yeah, thanks mom,” Lucy beamed.

The Christmas Eve Party thrown by her neighbours was a tradition she’d attended her entire life, and even though she hadn’t dated their grandson in half a decade, Val and John had always insisted that she still came along. A lingering effect of being childhood sweethearts, she supposed.

“Amy! Gary! Lucy!”

The welcome from their neighbours was warm and effervescent as it always was, and soon enough Lucy found herself swept in by conversation and catching up. She may have gone to college in UBC Okanagan in Kelowna for both her degrees, barely away from home, but she’d lived in campus residence for all four years of her bachelor’s degree and moved out of her parents’ house properly into a small apartment near campus for her master’s degree. It would’ve been easy to move home after guaranteed accommodation ended, but Lucy had wanted to keep the independence she had grown to love, and it wasn’t as if she didn’t visit her parents at least every other weekend.

But it was still nice to be able to talk about her accomplishments with the people that she’d grown up alongside, especially now that she was in the final year of her master’s degree and looking like she was on track for starting the PhD she’d always aimed for.

After a couple of hours, she escaped the crowds in the living and dining areas, grateful for the sanctuary of the kitchen. There were a few plates of cookies and other Christmas treats laid out, and Lucy couldn’t resist reaching out for a snickerdoodle…

…at the exact time as someone else.

She jumped in surprise as a large hand rested on top of hers, not realising anyone was next to her, but as she looked up, she couldn’t but to freeze despite the warmth of his touch. Tyson. It was Tyson’s hand touching hers.

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry, I…Lucy?”

“Hey Tys,” she managed to breathe.

The familiar curls, the big beautiful eyes, the sweet smile, and now a little bit of stubble? He looked good. Of course he looked good.

Tyson quickly drew his hand away from hers, breaking her out of her thoughts.

“Uh, you have it, I shouldn’t be eating baked goods too much anyway,” Tyson said, rubbing the back of his neck a little sheepishly.

Lucy pursed her lips and broke a third of the snickerdoodle off, handing it to Tyson with a raised eyebrow. Tyson huffed out a laugh but accepted the offered treat, sending her a small smile of thanks. Fuck, it may have been five years since they broke up, but he really hadn’t changed, had he?

“So, uh, you still come to these parties?” Tyson asked.

Lucy bit her bottom lip but nodded.

“Yeah, your grandparents insist. I hope that’s okay,” she winced.

“Of course it is,” Tyson said quickly, “They always loved you.”

Well that was something at least. Why did this feel so awkward? Sure, it had been five years since she’d seen Tyson, but they dated from eight years – surely they had more than this?

“I don’t usually come to these. Well, I guess you already know that, if you come every year. I, uh, I have the 24th to the 26th off this year, so I didn’t want to miss another Christmas with my grandparents,” Tyson explained.

“I bet Val and Jim were over the moon when you told them,” Lucy mused.

Tyson laughed softly, nodding. “They were. Mom and Kacey didn’t hesitate to come to Kelowna to join us, so it’s a big family Christmas this year.”

“That’s great, Tys. Really. Spending Christmas with your loved ones is important,” she said softly, smiling.

His smile dimmed a little, but he nodded.

“How’s, uh, how’s your degree going? Gramps said you’re doing a master’s now?”

He knew that? Did he ask? Or did Jim just tell him?

“Uh, yeah. I graduated my bachelor's degree magna cum laude back in 2020 and went straight into starting my graduate program there. I’m a paid teaching assistant for my supervisory professor too.”

“That’s incredible, Luce. Still doing Earth and Environmental Sciences?” Tyson prompted.

He remembered? After all this time?

“Yeah, yeah it is. Focusing in on environmental impact assessment for my master’s thesis,” she nodded, a little stunned, “I didn’t think…I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“Of course I remember. You were always so passionate about your studies – it was one of the things I loved most about you,” he said softly.

“Tyson…” Lucy said faintly, trailing off when no words would come.

He smiled sadly at her, shaking his head.

“Sounds like…it sounds like everything was worth it for you,” Tyson murmured.

~

2019

“So you can’t make it over?”

“No, Tys, I can’t, I have labs to do,” Lucy sighed.

“We haven’t seen each other in so long!”

“I can’t just not go to my classes because you want me in Denver! You know this!” she groaned.

“I know, I know, but it sucks.”

Lucy frowned, even though he couldn’t see her. “You’re the one who didn’t come home for Christmas, remember?”

“The schedule didn’t make sense, and I offered to fly you down?”

“Tyson!” she groaned.

He stayed silent on the other end of the phone, a silence that sent an ominous shiver down her spine.

“So where do we go from here?”

“W-What?” she said, confused at the dull tone of his voice.

“Your priority is college, my priority is hockey, and neither of us can compromise. I would never ask you to compromise, just like you wouldn’t ask me. We have different priorities, clearly. So where do we go from here?”

“Tyson, are you really saying what I think you’re saying?” she whimpered.

“Yeah, I think we should break up.”

“We’ve been together for eight years! You’re the only boyfriend I’ve ever had, the only guy I’ve ever wanted. And you want to break up, just like that?”

“I don’t want to break up, Luce. But what other option do we have? Neither of us can give the other what we need right now. We have to focus on ourselves, don’t we? For our own careers? You have so much ahead of you and I can’t be there to celebrate it. And you can’t be by my side cheering me on from the stands. I love you, Lucy. But this isn’t working anymore.”

~

“Tyson, why would you say it like that? You think it’s been easy for me?” Lucy asked, throat a little choked.

“No, no, of course not,” he groaned.

“Then what do you mean?”

“Look, forget I said anything, okay? It was really good to see you, Luce.”

Before Lucy could say a word, Tyson walked away, leaving her alone in the kitchen with her head spinning. What the hell was that?

For the final few hours of the party, Lucy indulged in a couple more glasses of wine than she intended, sticking solidly by her parents’ sides. She did her best to keep a smile on her face and ease into the Christmas festivity, even when Laura and Kacey said their hellos, but her mind just kept going back to Tyson.

“We’re going to start saying our goodbyes, okay honey? Why don’t you find all our coats.”

Lucy just nodded at her mom’s suggestion, grateful for the opportunity to escape the crowd. Well, she was grateful, until she saw Tyson sitting on the bench next to the coat rack, face flushed and eyes glassy. He was drunk, at least moderately so.

“Ah, fuck, I didn’t want you to see me like this,” he said, voice slurring.

What did he mean by that?

“I’m just getting our coats. We’re heading out,” she murmured, trying to ignore the whoosh in her stomach.

“Already?”

“It’s nearly midnight, Tys,” she said, smiling wryly.

“Well, fuck. Time flies when you’re having whiskey, I guess,” he groaned, putting his empty glass on the bench next to him.

She huffed out a laugh, unhooking the coats when she finally spotted them.

“You look good, Luce,” he murmured, looking up at her through his eyelashes.

“I do?” she blurted.

Damn it.

But Tyson just grinned. “Yeah, you really do. You always looked good, but damn you’ve really settled into your own skin, eh?”

“I love who I am, yeah,” she nodded.

She wasn’t lying, or even placating. Her studies in environmental impact had opened up a whole new side of her she hadn’t even realised was there, and she loved everything about the person she’d become through it. She just hadn’t realised it was obvious on the outside.

Then again, if anyone was going to notice something like that about her, it was going to be Tyson, wasn’t it?

“You’re too good for me.”

Oh fuck.

“That’s not true. Not even slightly,” Lucy said, frowning.

“No? I can barely get a team to keep me, and you’re soaring ahead with your academic career, just like you deserve,” Tyson scoffed.

This was just the alcohol talking. It had to be.

“Tys, those teams are the ones missing out. You’re amazing,” she said softly.

He paused for a moment, before shaking his head.

“If I’m so amazing, why did we break up?”

Because he had to put hockey first.

Because she had to put college first.

Because neither of them were each other’s first choice.

“That’s not fair, Tyson. We were kids when we first started dating. Barely 13 years old. And we were together for eight years! We had an incredible relationship! It just…we wanted different things. Our priorities were different, our passions were different – we might have grown up together, but we’d also grown apart. Your life is hockey and my life is academics, and that’s okay! That doesn’t mean we didn’t have love, yeah?”

The way that Tyson’s eyes filled up with tears made her own eyes water, dangerous lump rising in her throat.

“If I could go back and change it all, I would. I’d choose you. I’d always choose you.”

His soft words tore a sob from her throat and she shook her head. How could he be so cruel?

“Don’t say that. We made the right decision five years ago and you know it,” she whimpered.

Tyson’s face fell at her devastated expression, and he staggered to his feet.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry,” he said sadly.

And yet here she was, broken hearted all over again.

“I should go. I need to go,” was all she could manage to choke out.

“Lucy, baby, please…”

But Lucy just shook her head, clutching the coats in her hands, shaky smile on her lips as the tears finally fell. “Merry Christmas, Tyson.”

~

“So what happened at the Christmas Eve Party that has you all torn up like this?”

Lucy flinched at her mom’s voice, turning her head to see her standing in the doorway to her bedroom.

“Nothing,” she said quickly.

“Uh huh, and I’m a fairy princess,” her mom snorted.

Lucy couldn’t help but giggle, earning a fond smile as her mom walked into the room and sat down next to her on her bed. Lucy placed a bookmark in the book she’d been reading to give her mom her full attention. She’d needed a little respite from all the preparations to hold her dad’s family for a late lunch, after all the intensity of having her mom’s family over yesterday on Christmas Day, but she’d found herself reliving her conversation with Tyson over and over.

“Sounds like…it sounds like everything was worth it for you.”

“You’re too good for me.”

“If I’m so amazing, why did we break up?”

“If I could go back and change it all, I would. I’d choose you. I’d always choose you.”

So really, her mom coming up to talk to her was a welcome break from all of that as well.

“If you know it was the Christmas Eve Party then you can take a guess,” Lucy said, shrugging.

“I’d rather hear it from you, when Tyson’s involved,” her mom mused.

Well at least her mom was blunt about it.

“We had a couple of conversations, and it stirred up old emotions, old drama. He…mom, he said he’d go back and change it all if he could. That he’d always choose me. What am I supposed to do with that?”

Her mom blinked a couple of times, lips parted in a surprised, before she coughed out a laugh.

“Well I could never accuse Tyson of being subtle.”

“Mom, seriously. This is stressing me out. I can’t stop thinking about it,” Lucy groaned.

“I think that’s an answer in itself, sweetheart,” she said softly.

“What?”

Her mom stayed silent, just nudging Lucy with her shoulder, and Lucy nudged back out of habit. What did she mean, that was an answer in itself?

“Lucy, honey, if you can’t stop thinking about Tyson choosing you above everything else, that means something,” her mom eventually said with a huffed laugh.

“But how can it? He still has his hockey, and I still have academics. Neither of those are going to change any time soon,” Lucy said sadly.

Because at the end of the day, that was the bottom line of it all. Their priorities haven’t changed.

“Just because your both still have your passions doesn’t mean that they have to be your only love. You can have both,” her mom said firmly.

What?

“How can I have both?” Lucy asked, confused.

“Do you love him?” was all she said.

“What?” Lucy said, surprised.

“Do you love him?” her mom repeated.

Lucy opened her mouth, shutting it again before huffing out a laugh. There was only one answer to that.

“Yeah, I never stopped,” she replied.

“Then you can have both. You spent the last five years missing him, and I know damn well that that boy missed you too - neither of you deserve that for another second. You can have both,” her mom said decisively.

She could have both?

How could she have both?

“You love him.”

“I love him,” Lucy whispered.

“Go get him.”

Lucy whimpered as she looked into her mom’s eyes, but she only saw warmth and encouragement. Her mom was right. She loved Tyson. She loved Tyson and if seeing him again this Christmas had taught her anything, it was that she was stupid if she tried to deny how much she missed him. If she didn’t tell him now, when would she?

“He leaves today. I need to go now,” she said suddenly.

“Well damn, okay then. Put on a sweater and I’ll find your snow boots,” her mom grinned.

Lucy felt like she was in a haze as she walked as quickly down the street as was safe, heart pounding as she spotted Tyson loading bags into his grandpa’s car.

“Tyson!”

His head whipped around at her shout, eyes going wide as he saw her walking towards him. Tyson shuffled down the driveway, missing Jim’s fond smile as he himself went back into the house, and the moment that she was standing in front of him, Tyson cupped his hands over her elbows to steady her.

“What are you doing here?”

“I love you,” she breathed.

Tyson whimpered, but Lucy wasn’t discouraged, not when she saw the wonder that filled his expression.

“You love me?”

“I love you. I love you so much and I can’t stop thinking about everything you said the other night,” she blurted out.

“Luce, I’m sorry, I know I upset you but…”

“No, Tys, it’s okay,” Lucy said, shaking her head as she interrupted, “While I stand by what I said, that we made the right decision at the time, maybe we could make a different decision now?”

“What are you saying?”

She could understand his hesitation, really she could. It wasn’t as if she wasn’t coming out with this out of the blue, after five years of nothing at all. After five years of heartbreak and heartache. But her mom was right – she missed him so fiercely and she couldn’t bear the thought of him not knowing that.

“I want us to start over new. I never stopped loving you, not for one moment. We could have both. We could have our passions and our love, and I hate that it’s taken me this long to even consider that? I miss you and I love you and I know you’re heading to the airport to fly back to Raleigh, but tell me I’m not crazy for thinking we could do this?”

Tyson’s jaw dropped as he processed her long rant, and it was only his firm grip on her elbows that stopped her from giving up hope.

“That was a lot,” Tyson said.

She winced. “I know, but…”

“And you poured out a lot of emotion there,” he interrupted.

Lucy kept her mouth shut this time, as much as she wanted to beg him to say more.

“It’s been agony for five years, for so many reasons, but hearing you say that you love me and you want to give our relationship another shot? I just…”

Tyson trailed off, letting out a long breath.

“I understand if I’m too late,” she murmured.

But Tyson huffed out a laugh, raising one hand from her elbow to cup her face in a gentle motion that had her breath hitching in her throat.

“There is no world in which you’d be too late,” Tyson said softly.

“Really?”

“I love you too, Lucy. I never stopped either,” he murmured.

She couldn’t stop the incredulous laugh that tumbled from her lips, smiling back up at Tyson as he smiled at her.

“We’re really doing this?” she asked, giddy.

“Yeah, baby, we are. I don’t know how we’re going to do this, or what it’s going to look like, but we’re both adult enough to know how to put in more effort this time round right, yeah? I’ll fly home for the all-star break, and I’ll fly you out for spring break, and we’ll have video calls that neither of us are going to miss. And everything else. We’re going to make it work this time,” he said, tone serious but face grinning.

“And we’re going to communicate, yeah? When one of us is finding it hard? We’ll find little compromises, as we can’t do the big compromises. We’re worth it,” Lucy added, not caring that her cheeks were aching with her smile.

“Yeah, we are. I love you, so much Lucy,” Tyson grinned.

“I love you too.”

Tyson didn’t waste any time in leaning down to press his lips to hers, their last first kiss.

[kathlare]

into the spotlight

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Amelie returns to the F1 paddock during the Miami Grand Prix, where emotions run high on and off the track. The buzz surrounding her appearance quickly takes a backseat to Lando's breakthrough moment on the circuit, leading to a cascade of intense feelings and public revelations. Against the backdrop of Miami's vibrant energy, a celebration transforms into a defining moment that shifts the dynamic between the two, marking a turning point in their relationship.

Wordcount: 2.6 k

Warnings: fluff, smau, kinda suggestive content

May 5th, 2024 - Miami, FL

liked by drivetouamour, landoislife, and others

amelienation: Amelie has arrived at the paddock for the Miami Grand Prix alongside a friend and her sister, Stella! 💕 She’s here to support Checo, marking her first race appearance of the season. Looking stunning as always, can’t wait to see more of her this weekend! 🏎✨

View all 1,584 comments

fan1: She really said, "Let me slay Miami while casually supporting my bro-in-law." 🔥 → fan2: @fan1 Bro, imagine being this iconic.

f1fanatic32: She’s back in the paddock, and all is right in the world 🌎✨

latinaf1love: Supporting Checo like the queen she is! 🫶 → drivetoamour: @latinaf1love She’s the real MVP. Forget the drivers, I’m here for her.

amieobsessed: Imagine if she dates a driver… I’d die. 😭 → landoislife: @amieobsessed Bestie she’s too good for any of them. Let’s be real.

pinktarmac: Miami AND Amelie?? We’re eating good this week 🥵 → fastfamfan: @pinktarmac Forget the race, this is the main event.

lanmilsupremacy: She’s here supporting Checo... but you KNOW she’s gonna end up in Lando’s garage somehow 👀💅 → amelieupdates: @lanmilsupremacy Friends supporting friends, right? Totally innocent... 👀

landoobsessed: Imagine if Lando and Amelie were actually dating though... that would break the internet fr. 😍 → f1shipperzzz: @landoobsessed Literally waiting for that soft launch any day now 💀

miamilover99: If I see one picture of her and Lando together this weekend, I’m DONE. My heart can’t take it. 💔 → oscarfan45: @miamilover99 Same, but also... I’m refreshing Twitter every five seconds. 😭

oscarfan101: Y’all KNOW Lando’s gonna act suspicious all weekend now that she’s here. 😂 → landosimp23: @oscarfan101 The man’s gonna stutter through every interview, bet. 💀

hatersgonnahate: She’s only here for attention. Like, we get it, you’re famous.

landoismyman: She better not end up with anyone else on the grid. I’m still holding out for my otp. 🥹

--------------

The Miami sun was blazing, the roar of engines echoing through the circuit. Amelie stood in the Red Bull garage with her sister Stella, who was animatedly chatting with Checo's engineer. Amelie’s attention, however, was firmly fixed on the big screen in front of her, where the final laps of the race played out. Her heart was pounding in sync with the commentator's excited voice.

Lando was leading.

The McLaren driver, her Lando, was within grasp of his first-ever Grand Prix victory. She could barely breathe as she watched him expertly navigate the track, holding off Max Verstappen with a precision and calm that had the crowd on their feet.

She wasn’t supposed to be here, not this close to the action. Being in the McLaren garage would’ve raised suspicions, so she’d accepted Stella’s invitation to watch with Red Bull. But now, standing among strangers, the idea of keeping her emotions in check felt impossible.

When Lando crossed the finish line, the world seemed to stand still for a moment before erupting into chaos. The commentator’s voice cracked as he shouted, “Lando Norris takes his first-ever Formula 1 victory in Miami!”

Amelie’s knees buckled, tears streaming down her face before she even realized it. She brought her hands to her mouth, trying to stifle a sob, but the dam had broken.

—Oh my God,— she whispered, voice trembling.

Stella turned to her, a knowing smile on her lips. —Go.—

Amelie hesitated for only a second before bolting out of the garage. Her mind was a blur, her body moving on pure instinct as she weaved through the crowds and dodged security personnel. She barely registered the cheers or the sea of orange-clad fans.

She reached the pit lane just as Lando pulled into the designated spot, his car stopping amid a swarm of jubilant McLaren team members. Without thinking, she pushed her way through the cluster of orange uniforms, earning a few startled looks but no resistance.

The adrenaline of the moment was buzzing in her veins, her chest tight with excitement and raw emotion. Amelie didn’t think. She couldn’t think. All she could see was Lando, his helmet still on, his body emerging from the car as the pit crew celebrated around him.

Her heart was pounding so loudly in her chest, it drowned out the noise of the cheers from the crowd. She could feel the warmth of the Miami sun on her skin, but it all faded into the background as she pushed forward, her eyes locked on Lando. He was laughing, his face lit up with joy, but it was when he looked over and saw her that the world seemed to stop.

Lando’s expression shifted instantly from celebration to something softer, something intensely familiar. His eyes widened for just a second, and before anyone could stop him, he was pushing through the crowd, sprinting toward her.

Amelie couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know what she was doing, didn’t know why she was crying or why she’d run here, but the second his arms wrapped around her, the tears didn’t stop.

Lando’s voice broke through the buzzing in her ears. —Ames, baby— he murmured, his hands cupping her face as he pulled her into him. His lips crashed into hers, not soft, but frantic, hungry, like he’d been waiting for this moment, just like her.

The kiss was everything. His lips were warm and familiar, tasting of the salt from sweat and the intense excitement of his victory. His arms were strong around her, his hands threading through her hair, holding her in place as if he couldn’t bear to let go. And, for a moment, neither of them cared who was watching.

The cameras were already there, catching every second, every desperate kiss, and the crowd erupted in cheers. But for Amelie and Lando, it was just the two of them in the middle of everything. She forgot the world around them entirely as she lost herself in the kiss, her hands trailing up his chest, pressing him closer.

When they pulled back, panting for air, their foreheads rested together, and Lando’s breath was unsteady. —Fuck, Ames, I thought you’d never do that.— He laughed, breathless, eyes wide with disbelief and joy.

Amelie laughed too, wiping the last of her tears away. She could hear the commotion behind them, the pit crew still cheering, but it felt distant. The only thing that mattered was this moment with him. —I didn’t plan this, Lan,— she admitted with a slight chuckle, her hands still resting on his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart.

Lando grinned, eyes soft but intense, and kissed her again, this time gentler. —Guess we’re out of the secret club now, huh?—

Before Amelie could respond, she was swept up in a wave of McLaren team members, all clapping him on the back, lifting him into the air in celebration.

Amelie watched, still caught up in the whirlwind of emotion, as Lando was carried by his team, laughter and cheers filling the air. The reality of the moment hit her again. He’d won. He’d really won. And now, everyone knew they were together.

She wiped away another tear, trying to steady herself as she made her way toward the podium area, keeping her eyes on Lando the whole time. She couldn’t believe this was happening, couldn’t believe she was watching him, the man who’d been her best friend and then something more, up there on the top step, holding the trophy with the biggest smile on his face.

When Lando finally stood on the podium, her heart swelled with pride. The champagne sprayed, the crowd screamed, and he held the trophy high above his head, looking out at the fans. But all Amelie could see was him, her Lando, standing there, shining in the spotlight. And her tears didn’t stop.

She couldn’t hold back anymore.

Her hands shook as she watched him, the sound of the crowd fading into the background. This was real. This moment, this victory, it was everything they’d both been working for, even if it wasn’t the way they’d planned it. She was crying now, openly, the tears streaming down her face as she clapped and cheered, completely unable to stop the wave of emotion flooding over her.

When the ceremony ended, Amelie stayed back, her heart still racing. She didn’t want to crowd him, not yet, not when he was still caught up in the media frenzy.

She waited outside the McLaren Team Hub, pacing anxiously as the minutes stretched into what felt like hours. The cool evening air of Miami was a welcome relief after the scorching heat of the day, but Amelie couldn’t bring herself to relax.

Her phone buzzed in her purse, but she ignored it, not wanting to be distracted. All she could think about was Lando, and how she’d kissed him, and how this moment—his first win, their first kiss in front of everyone—would change everything.

Finally, she saw him. The door to the team hub opened, and there he was, looking fresh and clean, dressed in a McLaren team shirt, his hair still damp from the shower but that familiar cocky grin on his face.

Amelie felt her heart skip a beat as he caught sight of her. His grin softened instantly, and he walked toward her, his strides long and confident.

—Hey, Ames,— Lando said with a teasing smile, his voice still thick with emotion from the day. —You look stunning. But are you okay? You’ve been crying like a little baby.—

Amelie rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across her face. —Shut up, Lan. You won your first race. Of course, I’m emotional.—

He pulled her into his arms, his lips finding hers in a sweet kiss. The world seemed to disappear as she kissed him back, her hands trailing up to cup his face.

When they pulled away, Lando rested his forehead against hers. —Let’s get to the hotel, yeah? I’m ready to celebrate properly.—

—Are you now?— she teased, but the grin on her face was wide.

As they made their way to the hotel, Amelie’s mind couldn’t help but drift to the after-party. They were both ecstatic, both a little tipsy from the excitement and the lingering effects of the champagne. But when they arrived at the party, the energy shifted.

Lando was surrounded by people congratulating him, and Amelie found herself sticking close to him. She hated the way some of the other girls kept throwing flirtatious glances his way, their fingers brushing his arm just a little too long, trying to get his attention.

But it didn’t bother her as much as it would have in the past. Because the second those girls leaned in, Lando would turn to her, his eyes only on her.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer, her lips pressing against his ear. —You’re not going anywhere, Lan.—

He chuckled, nipping at her ear in return. —Never, Ames.—

As the night wore on, the party’s energy seemed to intensify. The music was loud, and the lights were flashing in every direction. But amidst the crowd, Lando and Amelie were like a little world of their own. They danced together, laughing and teasing, their bodies moving in sync to the beat. It was one of those nights where everything felt perfect, where the connection between them felt so natural, so easy.

Amelie felt the warmth of Lando's hand on her back as they danced, his touch sending electricity through her. The alcohol had loosened them both up, and their playful teasing grew a little bolder. Every time she laughed, Lando's eyes would light up, and every time she brushed her lips against his, his hands would find their way to her waist, pulling her even closer.

But she could feel the tension between them building—an energy that had been simmering under the surface for months, maybe longer. She could see it in the way he looked at her, the way his hands lingered on her body, the way their kisses had become more urgent as the night wore on.

At one point, Lando leaned in close, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, his voice thick with desire. —You’re driving me crazy, Ames.—

Amelie shivered at the sound of his voice, her hands tracing the outline of his chest before sliding up to his neck. —Is that so?— she teased, her breath catching in her throat. She couldn’t deny the way he made her feel—the way his touch seemed to light her up from the inside out.

He smiled against her skin, pressing a kiss to her neck that made her pulse quicken. —Yeah,— he murmured, his lips brushing her jaw. —You’ve been killing me with those looks all night.—

Amelie laughed softly, but the sound was shaky, the heat in her chest turning into something more. She felt her heart race as she tilted her head back, giving him more access to her neck. —You’re such a flirt, Lan,— she whispered.

He chuckled against her skin, the sound vibrating through her. —Only for you, Ames,— he said, his voice low and raspy.

But as the night went on, Amelie couldn’t ignore the way her body responded to his closeness, the way every touch, every kiss felt more urgent, more desperate. There was a tension building, a hunger that neither of them had been able to ignore for too long.

Eventually, they found their way to a quieter corner of the venue, far from the noise of the party. Lando backed her up against a wall, his body pressing into hers as his lips crashed against hers once more. The kiss was heated, urgent, as though neither of them could wait any longer.

Amelie felt the heat of his hands on her waist, pulling her flush against him, and she responded eagerly, her fingers tangling in his damp hair, tugging him closer. Every inch of her body seemed to crave him, and she could feel the same hunger in his every movement.

—Fuck, Ames…— Lando groaned against her lips, his hands sliding down to her hips, gripping her tightly as though he couldn’t get enough. Amelie’s breath hitched in her throat, and she pressed her body even closer to his, feeling the hard heat of him against her.

She pulled away just slightly, her eyes meeting his, her lips swollen from the kisses. —Lando,— she breathed, her voice trembling with the need building inside her. —I think we need to get out of here.—

He nodded without hesitation, his gaze dark and intense. —Yeah,— he said, his voice rough. —Let’s go.—

They didn’t even look back as they made their way out of the party, their hands intertwined, hearts pounding in their chests. Neither of them said anything, but the silence between them was filled with anticipation.

Once they reached his hotel room, the door slammed shut behind them, and it was as if the world outside didn’t exist anymore. Lando didn’t waste a second, pulling her toward him, his lips claiming hers again, more desperately this time. Amelie’s hands found the buttons of his shirt, tugging at them as she kissed him back with equal urgency.

Her heart raced as she felt his hands slip under her skirt, his touch sending shocks of desire through her. —Fuck, you feel amazing,— he whispered, his voice hoarse as his lips trailed down her neck.

Amelie moaned softly, tilting her head back to give him better access, her fingers working at the buttons of his shirt. She could feel the heat of his body against hers, the intensity of the moment, and she wanted more. She wanted all of him.

—Lando…— she breathed, her hands trembling as they explored his chest, her nails grazing his skin.

He looked down at her, his eyes dark with desire, before he pulled her top and skirt over her head in one swift motion. The moment she was in just her underwear, he lifted her effortlessly, carrying her to the bed as if she weighed nothing. His hands were everywhere, caressing her skin, as though he couldn’t get enough of her.

Amelie’s breath caught in her throat as Lando hovered over her, his lips kissing a trail down her body. She arched into him, her hands threading through his hair, urging him on.

—Fuck, you’re beautiful,— he murmured, his lips brushing over her stomach.

Her body responded to his every touch, every kiss, and she pulled him back up to her lips, kissing him fiercely. Their hands were frantic, pulling at each other’s clothes, desperate to feel skin on skin.

When they finally came together, it was electric. Every inch of their bodies connected, every kiss, every touch, every sigh filled with the tension and desire that had been building for so long. It was messy and intense, the need for each other overwhelming.

And when it was over, they lay tangled together in the sheets, breathless, their bodies pressed close. Amelie’s head rested against Lando’s chest, and he kissed the top of her head, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on her back.

She smiled softly, her heart still racing. —That was… holy shit.—

Lando chuckled, his chest vibrating beneath her. —Told you I’d make you feel good, Ames.—

--------------

liked by maxfewtrell, ameliedayman, and others

landonorris: WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆

View all 8,588 comments

ameliedayman: Finally, I get to kiss a winner. 🏆😏 Proud of you, champ. → landonorris: @ameliedayman Oh, I’m winning more than races tonight 👀.

fanspeedy: BRO FINALLY DID IT 🔥😭 WE BEEN WAITING SINCE 2019. → landofanboy69: @fanspeedy King secured the bag ON and OFF the track, no cap. 👀

minniemills: Tears in my eyes! Lando, you absolute legend. P1! 🏆 → landonorris: @minniemills Minnie, don’t cry, I’m barely holding it together myself. 😅

mclaren: And we said it: He’s built different. 🏆

taylorf1fan: Tears are streaming down my face 😭😭 LANDO REALLY DID IT. → lanmelie_endgame: @taylorf1fan He deserves it and we deserve this relationship reveal. 🙌👀

charles_leclerc: About time, mate. Just don’t think you’re catching me in Monaco 🥱 → landonorris: @charles_leclerc Watch me 😉

madisonbeer: KING SH*T 👑 So proud, Lando! → ameliedayman: @madisonbeer Right? I trained him well. 😉 → landoeditz_: @ameliedayman Girl, don’t play with us like that!

landohater69: Great, now his ego will be even bigger. 🙄

hayesgrier: Okay, Lando. We see you, trophy boy 🏆 Don’t forget who was rooting for you before you were cool. → ameliedayman: @hayesgrier Bro, you didn’t even watch F1 until like a year ago 💀 → hayesgrier: @ameliedayman Details.

maxverstappen1: Guess I’ll let you have this one 😉 Congrats, bro! Enjoy the moment. → landonorris: @maxverstappen1 Appreciate it, Max.

landosbiggestfan_: HE’S BEEN IN LOVE WITH HER FOR AGES AND NOW THIS?! I’M LOSING IT

amelieupdates_: Soft launch? Babes, this was a HARD LAUNCH.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

what if I think really really hard and beam my grades and feedback into my students' brains from a distance......

[stuckinapril]

Going out is literally so boring to me rn I can’t believe I used to do it every weekend at one point

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

congratulations to Mme. Pascale Leclerc, who has surely just experienced both the funniest and most unhinged weekend a mother could ever have. Dear fucking christ, I hope your middlest son brought you a bottle of champagne for yourself, ma'am.

[anotherpapercut]

how the fuck do you do time management when you're extremely busy in a way that doesn't involve giving up all my resting time

[subtlybrilliant]

I miss my dad.

I miss my aunt.

Today has been so hard.

This weekend has been so hard.

[anthropoetics]

i might be allergic to dates (the food) this is the worst

[daddy-long-legssss]

i took a sick day and took myself out to breakfast and baby waved me. life feels good again.