#it's cute for the parents and congregation and gives a change for the children to participate

[lingering-sunrise]

primary program tomorrow so I actually have to get myself and the family to church on time for once 😅

[wholesomesveta]

Kaoso is an 11 year old Motherboard (Queen) and Hybrid Program (Standard-Pretty) that rules over the Bloodbath Computer, a computer with notoriety because of it's sheer brutality, totalitarianism and cruelty that it makes a Hatra computer look like heaven and paradise itself in comparison. It is said it has more factories than proper actual housing, poorly built slums that congregate into neighborhoods, a medieval castle that stands tall above everything to remind everyone of where they are and so much more. It is a computer solely acting as the playground for the most inhumane practices known to man however who is Kaoso exactly?

Despite what her adorable and cute appearance might tell, Kaoso is not at all wholesome neither is she the most adorable character for she isn't a good person as mentioned.

And that is a harsh understatement.

Kaoso has the appearance of someone adorable and cute, someone you would see from a show for children however her behavior and personality contrast. Instead of her being someone with a good soul, Kaoso is someone who is purely evil and acts like a villain straight from a comic book. She is cold, egotistical and most of all, sadistic. Kaoso is a kid you never want to meet but you will encounter her one way or another for she is someone that knows her appearance is unsuspecting; Kaoso hides as a typical girl to find victims and isolate them, when the time comes she rips the mask off and reveals her true disgusting personality. Kaoso is a monster who knows the weaknesses of the common person and uses them to her advantage to get away with what she loves doing. Kaoso is also a pathological liar and is straight untrustworthy, but when she is sincere and genuine, all she speaks is the most vile stuff that will scare you or anger you. Kaoso is interesting because she is self-aware of her sheer lack of morality, she knows she is a bastard, the devil incarnate as they say and straight up evil, however Kaoso refuses to change and doubles down, she goes further down into an already bottomless hole. Kaoso doesn't give a fuck about what people think of her, all it matters is that they don't cross her and respect her which is impossible for when you are an absolute bastard to everyone you meet.

Kaoso actually does care about some people despite her egotistical view of the world, believing it revolves around her and that any consequences won't affect her because she is a royal. Kaoso's most precious gift she cherishes is her family and especially her older sister, both have some of the best and typical relationships for people who contrast each other in personality. Jenny (her older sister), is a pacifist, selfless, caring and overly kind person who tries to give back to the world and help those in need although she is very shy and not very talkative compared to her loud younger sister. Both of them have a typical relationship as stated although Jenny does try to have the talk with Kaoso about her behavior and why she should change it up and be good before it actually bites her back and does repercussions in her life, Kaoso understands her concerns and nicely turns them down because she argues that it is too late and might as well ride the boat out until it sinks.

However even with a slither of positivity, she is still nearly all negative. One good trait doesn't automatically equal out the sheer garbage thrown on a balance, if you put her soul on a scale it the other half would fall down so hard it would break the floor.

In other words, Kaoso is basically irredeemable but she doesn't care. In fact she doubles down. Kaoso is the type of villain who deliberately wants to make the world burn for the sake of it, no ulterior motives or goals all she wants to do is have fun causing the fire and watching it burn.

Backstory:

However Kaoso wasn't always known as Kaoso, in fact she was named Charlotte by her parents however after she was born, a bomb was thrown by a virus at the hospital's second floor causing it to be leveled and collapse on itself killing her mother while her father did survive; he disappeared from Charlotte's life the only reason she survived is because Charlotte was put in an incubator on the first floor therefore she avoided such a disaster. Due to such events, Charlotte ended up staying in an orphanage with her older sister Jenny who did come to the hospital but stayed in the lounging part of it; this was because despite them having living relatives no one could take care of them or weren't known at all such as their aunt. Charlotte was also known as the "Nameless Child" because no one actually knew her name except Jenny, Charlotte's time at the orphanage was rather long and might had a heavy impact on her personality and growth as she was easly aggreviatable, impulsive and sometimes broke the rules but otherwise always had this aura of a kid simply being a kid and this only being a phase for her considering what had happened getting accustomed to living without parents especially at a young age was known at the time to do a lot of things to children and Charlotte was no exception. Charlotte eventually did receive a name but it was given by the caretaker for the orphanage, a priestess who once praying in the morning had the User revealed to her a name for the Nameless Child, "Kaoso" knowing who that was Charlotte was referred to as Kaoso and at first this was met with intentional disobedience and tuning her out but eventually accepted the name as even her older sister started calling her that, thus Kaoso was named Kaoso no longer was she Charlotte. Eventually she was adopted by a queen looking for an Heir, she saw potential in both Kaoso and her sister so she adopted them. That's how Kaoso became a royal.

That's all, i hope you enjoyed reading.

[gryfon-spanish-werewolf]

Uuh dunno if you would like this prompt : Anna and Elsa as a mythical creatures.

Would love too see what you will write them as ^^

@like-redhead-probably I sat thinking about this ask for a long time, because while I IMMEDIATELY thought of one for Elsa, Anna’s absolutely eluded me. And I know you were probably looking for a story, but I am unable to stop myself from first EXPLAINING my choices xD

I was already thinking about the myth of the Hulder (or huldra if we’re speaking of the creature in general instead of the specific Norwegian myth) for other story-related reasons, and as I did more research, I felt like the Hulder REALLY shared similarities with Elsa.

Generally speaking the huldra is a Scandinavian myth of a pale skinned, blonde or brown haired, attractive young woman who lives in the wilderness, often luring men away with song or dance to be killed or misled, stuck wandering forever. Sometimes she’s connected strongly to water, and instead of making men lost, she drowns them. Sometimes she is described as similar to an elf or fey-like creature, with characteristics related to other Huldufolk (we’ll get to them later) such as living in a parallel world, or a world Underground, and therefore preferring caves or appearing and disappearing suddenly. Sometimes she is depicted as having a hollow back, or a cow’s tail, which she hides out of embarrassment or to conceal her true identity. Which… how cute is that?

Before the 11th century, the myths were focussed more around the Huldufolk, which literally means “Hidden Folk”. There are lots of stories as to why and how the Huldufolk came to exist, but for the purpose of Elsa I think it most appropriate to look at the Christianization of the myths. Why?:

Frozen and Frozen 2 are modern movies made by an American company and Christianity is nigh untanglable with American culture, they take place in ~1840s Norway, F1 has a dedicated place of Christian congregation depicted in said movie, an official royal crowning overseen by a Christian faith leader, and the adaptation of Frozen generally comes from author Hans Christian Anderson and therefore should take his life and society into account, etc.

The Christianized myth says that one day Eve was washing her children (presumably after Cain, Abel, and Seth) in the river, when she heard God approaching. Ashamed that He would see her kids unclean, she hid the half she wasn’t done bathing, and when God asked, “Where are the other children?” Eve claimed that she had all of them present, indicating the clean ones. This gave God pause, but in the end He said, “Then let all that is Hidden, remain Hidden.” The children that Eve lied about became the Huldufolk, unable to live among humans. These people would eventually become characterized as dwarves, elves, fairies, etc., as time and interpretations rolled on, the huldra being just one of many mythical “species”.

So. Who is Elsa? She’s a:

fictional, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned young woman who led thousands of men wlw to wander helplessly into the dark caves and wildlands of social media with a power ballad and a jaw-dropping transformation sequence

Okay I’m joking… mostly…

In fact my interest in choosing the Hulder for Elsa lies purely outside of any romantic or sexual appeal, especially since Elsa as a character exhibits next to 0 romantic or sexual interest across two whole movies and an additional two shorts. Indeed, there’s a reason people headcanon her as either asexual, aromantic, or both! No, the reasons I chose the Hulder are:

Elsa’s name

Her upbringing

Her duty as queen, and

Her general behavior, specifically in regards to Frozen 1, as Frozen 2 Elsa is, at times, an almost completely different character

Elsa’s name was chosen very specifically by the filmmakers because it means “God is my Oath”. Oaths are binding, heavy, and invoke the maker’s or subject’s actions and personhood in the future. In Elsa’s case specifically, it invokes divine witness: perfect for a queen, someone born to rule. A promise to be fair, to uphold, to protect, to lead, to be a dignified and honorable face for the country. And Elsa was so ready to be that… except for the powers of course. Or at least, when they became something other than a magical gift of wonder and joy. When they became dangerous. Then there comes another oath, spoken to powerful creatures of magic, the Trolls, and born from parental fear: “She can learn to control it.”

Binding, heavy, invoking of Elsa’s future. As she grows, Elsa becomes closed off, quiet, hiding in her own home. She still takes her duties seriously, but now that she has been Other’d, taught to hide herself and her curse, she is just as much shadow as person. To young Anna, Elsa must have been almost ghostlike, disappearing right when Anna thought she’d cornered her, only to reappear sometime later down the hall, out of arm’s reach.

God promised Adam and Eve that their children would inherit the earth, even after leaving the Garden of Eden. Then suddenly that changed, due to Eve’s fear and shame of her unwashed children, and some would now inherit Underground, or somewhere else entirely. The lost children of Eve had become Other’d, needing to hide, disappear, and resort to inhuman tactics just to exist. Maybe they’re jealous, maybe they're just tricksters. But it’s not their fault. And it wasn’t Elsa’s either. Another reason they are similar.

Now, it’s not all doom and gloom for the Hulder, or for Elsa. While the Hulder is generally known for her more chaotic and negative attributes - just like our favorite snow queen, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. There are a few myths that say burning a charcoal fire -instead of a coal or gas one- is most pleasing to the Hulder, that she’ll even watch over it during the night, and wake the sleepers in case something happens. If a traveler leaves supplies behind with a note or offering for the Hulder, they will travel safely. In fact, some people leave caches for her, as though to cater to specific requests. Coming across the Hulder by chance can have a multitude of outcomes, but if an astute observer spots her cow tail and mentions it, she may become shy and run away. Don’t mention the empty back though, that’s almost certain death.

Basically my point is… trade out the word “traveler” for the name “Anna” and we can draw all the similarities we want. Anna did all of those things, in a way. Anna gave Elsa a little gift of their favorite snowman every Christmas. Anna knocked on Elsa’s door and spoke to her, treated her kindly despite the distance between them, literal and metaphorical. It’s not hard to imagine that Anna left little notes around the castle, hoping Elsa would find them, read them, and know that Anna still loved her, still missed her. And, well, hopefully Anna wasn’t setting any fires and falling asleep next to them - but Anna always kept a light on for Elsa, in her heart. And it flickered and wavered sometimes, but it was a strong fire most days. And we know Elsa was always drawn to it, drawn to Anna because she loved her right back. Loved her first, even. And because it was a warmth that pleased Elsa, she tended it, quietly, carefully, warmly. Like putting a blanket over an Anna that had fallen asleep in the painting room, refusing that slice of chocolate cake so Anna could have two desserts, and listening, for hours and hours, days and days, for the sound of Anna’s glorious bonfire-like soul outside her bedroom door. Even when her secret was revealed, Elsa believed that the best way to protect Anna’s life, her flame, was to distance herself, running to a secret, special place all her own - much like the Hulder might run away back to the Underground.

And this last part’s just me, but I’d like to think that if the Hulder was treated kindly, respected, and given dignity, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if someone came across her accidentally. That instead of being instantly drowned, or the Hulder becoming sheepish and attempting to run, it would feel recognized. It could be called by name. And instead of feeling the need to hide it’s Otherness, it could be treated as part of it, and cared for just the same. I don’t even need to be subtle here: Anna called Elsa by Name, really saw her, and reframed her darkness into light. Anna hasn’t fought God yet, but she did walk through hell and back for a sister that everyone else saw as a threat, monster, and sorcerer. A category 9 Other. Too bad for them, Anna’s got a Category 10 heart.

Speaking of. We finally got to Anna.

Anna was difficult to pin down because to me, Anna is so very, very human. That’s what makes her special! Yes, yes, you could throw any mythical creature at Anna and the fun part would be trying to make it work within her personality and characterization BUT since the question was Anna AS a mythical creature, that changes the game! The word ‘creature’ itself tends to conjure something distinctly INhuman. So I…. tried, and cheated maybe a little. Because I picked for Anna the Norse Valkyrie.

Most people know what Valkyries are so this one takes significantly less explaining. Valkyries are women that are warriors, shieldmaidens, and the hands of Odin, and they choose who lives and who dies during battle. Their chosen dead ride with them to Valhalla, while those they choose to live are usually granted honors in life. There are the darker sides of Valkyries that paint them as blood hungry maidens waiting on the sidelines before a war, singing the names of who will die with glee… but generally speaking the version of Valkyries that most people know and admire today are accurate! And thank goodness because attempting to depict Anna the other way would probably give me an ulcer.

Anna, much like the Valkyries, is a woman of valor and strength, who is perceptive, guides others, sees into people’s hearts and reveals their goodness. Valkyries are also warriors of prowess themselves, and Anna in Frozen 2 with that ice sword? We all know she was ready to use that for real. She also exemplifies traits that Valkyries both look for and have! Bravery in the face of danger: hello Marshmallow, Elsa’s own blizzard, Hans’ lethal sword strike, LIVING MOUNTAINS, and a damn collapsing.... dam. She also defends those who cannot do it themselves: saying publicly that, “My sister is not a monster… she was scared, she didn’t mean any of this,” even if that cast suspicion or doubt on herself, and the crown, as a whole. Anna knew and believed in Elsa, despite all the years and heartbreak and anger. Despite the impossible magic that literally just happened before her very eyes. Belief in character, despite appearances. And once they were reunited, Anna made every effort to stay by Elsa’s side because she STILL had that faith in her. Anna’s name means “Grace” or “of Grace”, and damn if she didn’t extend that to the person others found most unworthy, even to Elsa herself. Valkyries see what others don’t, and their decisions are final.

[Deep breath] SO! You asked for Anna and Elsa as mythical creatures. You got… a small academic paper, by social media standards xD. I intend to write a little piece about a Valkyrie who encounters the Hulder on the edges of a battlefield and… realizes she never made a choice about this particular woman. And wonders why she can’t ;). BUT I didn’t wanna leave you hanging any longer. Hope you like my choices!

Oh also, nobody asked, but Kristoff is a werebear. No research required

[hheeyyhay]

The Familiarity of New Memories

Pairing: Hitoshi Shinso x Reader (can pass as gender neutral if ya squint)

Summary: Old traditions make way for new ones as reader makes new friends with the help of a certain ball of fur. 

OR Shinso volunteers at a shelter with a grumpy old cat who just so happens to play matchmaker between himself and the newcomer to town.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy my contribution to the Konoha Simps’ latest server collab!! You can check out all the other wonderful pieces in this event right here. This is the first piece of fan fiction that I have written since high school, and the first piece I have ever put out into the world for others to see. I cannot thank the members of the Konoha Simps Server enough for giving me the motivation and courage I needed to FINALLY do this-- I love you guys so much!! 

Warning(s): fluff, mentions of anxiety/depression

quirkless college AU

Word Count: ~3K

There was no doubt about it, summer was officially on the way out. You could tell by the way green leaves were giving way to crisp splotches of red, yellow, and orange. In the way the cool breeze kissed your cheeks as it danced by. Most importantly, you could tell by the way your workload for classes picked up.

You tried to take in your surroundings-- take a moment to process a quick hello to autumn, and with it a farewell to simpler times. Gone would be the times where your biggest worries were what kind of trouble you would have to convince the rest of your friends to stay out of in between shifts at the local cafe. Normally, this goodbye was easier to say as it leaned to the happier side of bittersweet. After all, back home fall was your favorite season. That was all in the past though.

In your hometown, your walks around the neighborhood at the start of fall were comforting. You could stroll the streets with a snack in one hand, and a warm drink in the other as you headed to meet up with your friends under the canopy of changing leaves at the park. With textbooks sprawled across picnic tables and blankets the support of your friends kept you all warm against the slowly dropping temperatures. However, it was no longer the streets of your hometown that you were strolling along with a backpack over your shoulders, and it was no longer your friends at your side, but strangers.

You shivered, pulling your thick cardigan closer around yourself with a heavy sigh. You had been so certain that moving hundreds of miles away from home to finish your college work was a good idea. You had told your anxious family and friends that you would be fine, being alone in a new place for a while was just a sacrifice you had to be willing to make in order to pursue your dreams. Yet you began to doubt the truth in your own claims as the usual cold autumn wind whipped your hair about. It felt foreign rather than welcome as it would back home. The chill sunk into your bones where it mixed with your new found loneliness causing you to wrap your arms around your middle.

���I don’t know what I was thinking,” you thought to yourself pulling out your phone to see no new messages in response to all the ones you had sent out. You had known your friends for years and were lost without them. You sighed once more, shaking your head as you pocketed your phone. It had been the fifth time in an hour that you checked your phone knowing there were not any notifications you had already seen. You scolded yourself for being foolish and worrying that your friends had moved on without you. 

You had been distracted by the chatter of your own inner demons the entire rest of your walk, and it was not long before you were turning off the sidewalk onto the back walkway leading around to the front of the library.

You were headed inside to study on your own at the tables inside. It had become your new tradition after having found it too hard to study outside at any of the parks, where all the passerby would remind you of just how lonely you were here in this new town. As you rounded the corner and came up alongside the library you paused, noticing a lot more noise and chatter than usual. Balloons and signs amongst the visitors caught your eye. “Adoption day?”

You wandered closer to the tents that were set up in a corner of the parking lot. Upon closer inspection you realized that the people were gathering around various cages, crates, and pens filled with pets from the local shelter. There were as many different people there looking for new four legged family members to bring home as there were animals. Some children were leaning over a crate full of guinea pigs, others were picking out rabbits from one of the other pens, and still others were begging their parents for either a puppy or kitten. There were couples young and old alike speaking with the volunteers about which cat or dog was the best fit for them. You wished you could hang around a little longer, but there were so many people in such a small space that you could not help, but feel anxious. Turning away to finally walk inside you pulled out your phone once more to smile down at your lock screen; a photo of your cat from back home. 

Pocketing your phone you caught a glimpse of something familiar out of the corner of your eye. Following your line of sight as you walked away, you were surprised to recognize a boy from campus. If his wild purple hair and dark under eye bags were not enough to make him stand out from the crowd then his lanky limbs decked out in his unique dark, edgy style definitely was. You paused at the top of the staircase to the library and watched as he spun around to crouch in front of a cage. As he stood there squatting in front of the cage you realized that he was a volunteer from the shelter along with the others.

With one last final look over your shoulder you walked through the door, leaving the boy and all the homeless pets outside. As he disappeared from view at your departure, you caught a last glimpse of him pulling a rather forsaken cat out of the cage he had previously been standing in front of. Heading to your usual secluded table behind some less frequented bookshelves you tried to not think of the cat or the boy who held it in his arms. From what you had observed from your short visit to the Adoption Day Event, no one else had shown the poor old cat any sort of attention. The lump of fur was not only fluffy, but a bit on the large side, and while his coat was far from scraggly you could tell that he had only recently fallen on some sort of good fortune. He was missing a leg and both eyes, rendering him blind. It made you sad to think that the others were more than likely passing over the cat in favor of the other healthier, younger cats who would not have as many problems. As far as the boy, you could not even begin to guess why he seemed to be clouding up your thoughts. It was not like you had ever spoken to him before. 

Your thoughts were a jumbled mess and before you had known it you were throwing your pen down in frustration. “Ughhhh! This is useless! It has been two hours and I have barely put a dent into this chapter,” you dropped your head into your notebook as you slammed your textbook closed. 

“Maybe I would have been better off just studying at home afterall,” you thought to yourself as you packed up the rest of your belongings. 

You stopped at the circulation desk on your way to the exit to check out a book you had reserved on your previous trip in. “At least today wasn’t a total loss,” you thought to yourself as you gripped the book to your chest and headed for the door.

As you threw open the door and made your exit you were once again met with the chill of the outside air. It did not feel as cold as it had that morning though. You looked down at the book clutched to your chest and then back out across the parking lot. With a smile on your face and a new sense of determination that you had not felt since you had moved you found yourself walking across back to the makeshift shelter. The crowds from earlier had long since thinned only serving to further justify your impulsive decision. 

With a deep breath you had brought yourself up to one of the tables where the last few volunteers were congregated around the forlorn cat. Everything else was just about picked up and it was clear he had not been able to find a “furever” home at the event. The volunteers, mostly middle aged women with bright smiles, greeted you and asked if you wanted any information on the shelter they were from or if you were perhaps interested in volunteering yourself.

You explained that you had recently moved to the area to finish your schooling, but that you had been especially missing your cat from back home. You showed them a few pictures as you expressed interest in the cat lounging on the table and using his one good front paw to swat away anyone who tried to pet him.

A deep voice from behind you startled you out of your conversation, “You really want that mangey thing instead of a cute kitten?” 

You turned around and were met with the lanky boy from campus. You had been about to argue with him, stand up for your new feline friend when you noticed the boy was giving you a devilish smirk and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Shinso Hitoshi,” he extended his other hand to you, “I’ve uh--seen you around school a few times.”

You shook the offered hand and introduced yourself as well, “We have two classes together. I’d hope you’ve seen me around at least once or twice.” You tried to play it off cool as a blush crept up the back of your own neck. Your eyes searched each other up and down briefly and it took a lot of self control to not make an attempt to hide your face as you felt the blush grow across your cheeks as you watched Shinso’s own face begin to turn red. 

“Ahh, well, I’m fostering old Charlie here until he recovers more from his surgery,” Shinso made a show of gesturing to his own eyes and then to Charlie’s like it was some secret or he did not want to hurt the cat’s feelings. You could not help, but stifle a laugh. From the impressions you had of Shinso you had not expected him to be so forward, or funny for that matter. “Lucky for you, Charlie is quite picky and has scared away any potential suitors.”

Shinso reached around you and was able to give Charlie a few successful scratches under his chin. You reached forward too and copied Shinso’s movements. While Charlie was a little hesitant at first, he quickly warmed up to you and much to Shinso’s surprise, even let you pick him up and give him forehead kisses.

“Alright, well I guess you passed the test,” he congratulated you as he took Charlie from your arms and gently placed him into a carrier. “He has another week or so, until he’s ready to go to a new home. If you want you can fill out one of the adoption contact cards and then one of us at the shelter can give you a call when it’s time for him to get ready to go home to you?” Shinso turned away as he once again began rubbing the back of his neck as he started turning red again, “Orrrrr, I don’t know. Maybe you could give me your number and I could text you updates or something?”

The other volunteers had slowly begun to disperse during your interaction with Shinso, and the last older woman who was left chuckled a bit to herself as she passed you a clipboard with the adoption paperwork. “Just fill this out for me dear and then Charlie will be all yours pending his final follow up with the vet. Shinso can go ahead and answer any questions you may have.” She gave you a final pat on the shoulder as she wandered off to help the others finish cleaning up.

You quickly filled out the paperwork and handed it back to Shinso, your phone sitting on top of the clipboard unlocked and already opened to the messaging app so he could add his number, “Please don’t tell me you volunteer at the shelter just to use the poor animals as your wingmen.”

Shinso made quick work of adding his number to your contacts and made sure he had yours as well before adding the clipboard to a pile on the table. “Only when they help me get the courage to finally talk to a girl I’ve had my eye on since she first transferred a couple weeks ago.” His face was red and his eyes were downcast. You wondered if maybe your first impressions of him were true and that Charlie had inspired him to do something out of his comfort zone just like the cat had done for you.

You could not put your finger on it, but you once again found your thoughts swimming with the boy from campus. This time though you had a name and even a voice to put to the face. You were not ready to say goodbye and decided to stay to help Shinso and the other volunteers finish cleaning up. The sun was quickly setting at that point and as the darkness rolled in so did another bout of cool autumn wind. However, this time you hardly noticed it. It carried a clean, crisp scent of fall that felt the most familiar than it had since your move. 

You passed the time with idle chit chat, quickly becoming closer and closer to Shinso. You learned a lot about each other and came to realize you had a lot more in common than you would have ever thought. 

Pausing you closed your eyes and tilted your head back taking a few deep breaths. It had been ages since you felt this content. You were not alone, you were not worried about the many different reasons your friends could possibly have for not texting you back, and you were not worried about the fear of never finding somewhere to fit in within this new place. You walked over to where Shinso had Charlie’s carrier resting on the sidewalk leading towards the back of the library. Kneeling down you poked your fingers as far through the bars as you could manage, “Thanks Charlie. Without you, I really wouldn’t have any friends here and I don’t think I would be able to love the fall anymore. With you by my side maybe I’ll be able to remember being stuck in this new place will be worth it all in the end.” 

You had not realized that Shinso had come up behind you, and you bumped into him as you tried standing up. He gripped your elbow tightly as you regained your balance, “So you really are new around here huh? I thought so, but. Well. I don’t know.” Shinso shrugged his shoulders sheepishly as he let go of you and quickly gave you back your space. As he avoided your gaze and looked up at the setting sun you noticed just how dark the circles under his eyes really were. 

“Yeah. Uhm,” you shifted your weight back and forth nervously as you tugged at your own sleeves. “Thanks for helping me with the adoption stuff. I hope Charlie doesn’t give you too much of a hard time before he can come home.”

There was a tension in the air as you were both starting to get cold as the dark approached, but neither of you particularly wanted to be the first to leave. You tucked a strand of loose hair between your ear, using the action to hide your face a bit as you gnawed on your lip. Shinso mirrored your uneasy behavior, staying halfway turned away and pulling his fingers through the mop of purple hair on his head. Luckily, Charlie had woken up and given a pitiful meow that sounded more like a chirp. It was just the encouragement you both needed as you and Shinso were once again able to make eye contact.

“It’s getting pretty dark and looks like it may rain,” Shinso broke away and looked up at the sky momentarily. You could not help, but be mesmerized by the way the sunset played on his pale features, accentuating his jawline. You felt the blush making its presence known on your face once more and simply nodded. Charlie chirpped again as if he were trying to encourage Shinso to continue on before he blew his shot. “My place isn’t too far from here. We could head there and hangout with Charlie for a bit to wait out the rain, and then I could walk you home if you’d like?...”

You could tell Shinso was nervous to hear your answer as he began rubbing at the back of his neck. Grabbing his wrist to gently guide it back down you flashed him a genuine smile as it felt like a weight was being lifted from your shoulders. The moment was interrupted by Charlie who decided that was the perfect opportunity to make it known that it was past his dinner time. “Come on Shinso, we wouldn’t want to make old Charlie think we’re planning on starving him.”

Shinso laughed and bent down to grab the carrier. “Wait until he realizes he’s going on a d-i-e-t after he’s fully healed up,” he spelt out. Charlie made a noise from the back of his carrier like he understood what Shinso was saying and was not pleased about it, which only made you laugh that much harder.

You once again found yourself taking the rear pathway behind the library into town. This time was different though. You were no longer alone. You had two new friends you could confide in. The leaves dancing in the autumn breeze were once again a welcomed sight. The dropping temperatures no longer reached the innermost corners of your bones amplifying your loneliness. The ghosts of the memories of your friends were no longer haunting you everywhere you looked as you walked down the street. There was now someone special you could create new memories and cherish the autumn with.

[creampuffqueen]

Elide x Lorcan baby headcanons

Elide and Lorcan also have many kids. Read about them

-Ok. Wow. Here we go

-So, accident is the wrong word for their first child. Elide and her husband had a long talk about their future in Perranth. They knew as Lord and Lady they'd be expected to produce and heir or two, and they both expressed that they were open to the idea of children. So they wanted a kid.

-But like,,, not really this soon.

-They've both been sporadic with their contraceptives, because they're busy rebuilding and all, and it's not the first thing on their mind usually in the morning.

-It's not like it's just one person. Neither of them are very good at taking it. They joke about it a bit and try to do better, but it's difficult. And they also think that since Lorcan is demi-fae, it will take a while for it to happen anyway. Plus, unlike Aelin, Elide is very mortal and therefore on a biological timer for having kids.

-But seriously. She's quite young. An adult, yes, but young nonetheless.

-It all starts maybe two months after Aelin announces her pregnancy, meaning the queen is around four-five months along.

-Elide wakes up one morning feeling... off. Weird. Not herself.

-She tries to dismiss it, but can't. Especially when she sits up and feels a roiling in her gut.

-Recently she's been more and more exhausted, which she credits to rebuilding and getting in the swing of all her new duties as Lady. So it's odd she's up so early, even more odd when she realizes that Lorcan is still asleep beside her. He likes to let her sleep in the morning (much to her displeasure, she has work too) so he's usually already getting ready/already gone.

-She's busy being puzzled when suddenly, her gut clenches, and she runs for the bathroom.

-And that's how her husband finds her. Puking her guts up in the toilet. He rushes to her side and holds her hair back and rubs her back and is just a doting husband in general.

-When there's nothing left in her stomach she just miserably curls into his side and lets him hold her. She hates vomiting, it's one of her least favorite things ever. And she doesn't know why she feels so terrible.

-Lorcan helps her back to bed and tucks her in, leaving the waste basket by her side just in case, and promises to be back with some tea and possibly a healer. Neither are sure what's going on, it could just be a simple stomach bug, but its better safe than sorry. And Lorcan isn't taking any chances with his wife.

-He comes back with peppermint tea, as promised. And a healer.

-Elide sips her tea to calm her stomach and tells the healer everything she ate in the past twenty-four hours, where she went, etc. Nothing out of the ordinary, those foods had never made her sick before, she wasn't in anyplace where she could have picked something up.

-The healer decides to finally go in with her magic. She gently touches Elide's stomach and lets her magic do it's thing.

-The woman looks up to the Lady of Perranth with a large smile.

-"What's going on? Is something wrong?" Lorcan asks nervously.

-"No, everything is going perfectly smoothly." The healer replies. "You're about two months pregnant, dear."

-What

-Both of the Lochans just stare in shock for a minute before Elide says, "I'm pregnant?"

-The healer nods. "Yes. You might want to stock up on peppermint tea; morning sickness isn't fun."

-Then she leaves. And so Elide is just looking at her husband, at the love of her life, and trying to read what he's feeling. But for the life of her she can't figure it out.

-"Lorcan?"

-He takes a deep, shuddering breath in that seems to steal the very heat from the room.

-He looks at the ceiling for a moment. He won't meet her gaze. Elide can feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes.

-"Oh gods." He whispers, so softly that she isn't completely sure she heard him.

-But when he looks at her again, instead of the anger or frustration she was worried about, he looks at her with as much tenderness as the day he proposed.

-"I can't believe it." He says softly. Those are tears in his eyes. He strides over to her and takes her gently in his arms, careful of her upset stomach.

-Elide isn't sure what she's feeling, mostly shock. But at the same time she's happy, and excited, and nervous, and already she's stressed. Is she going to be a good mother? She only had a mother in her life until she was seven, her nursemaid doesn't really count

-"Are you happy?" She breathes. And he murmurs onto her hair, "Beyond happy, my love. I'm ecstatic." Then he pulls her closer and kisses her softly, even though she tastes just a bit like vomit

-The next month is hard, but compared to how Aelin was in her first trimester, Elide's is a walk in the park. Morning sickness isn't great, but it lets up quickly. And she doesn't have weird taste buds, either, which is a blessing to her husband.

-She announces it at the next meeting of all the lords and ladies, and is met with nothing but congrats. Rowan gives his congrats and nods to Lorcan with the :/ face because he feels for his brother-in-arms; he also has a pregnant wife after all.

-After the first trimester it's smooth sailing. Elide is a pregnancy goddess tbh. Even though neither she nor Lorcan expected to be parents this soon, they're over the moon. Now they have to work on building a nursery as well as rebuilding their city.

-The people of Perranth are super happy for them, they get tons of gifts from citizens, even though they have no need for them. It's great. Everything is great.

-Yrene hears, of course, and offers to deliver the baby. Elide says yes, obviously.

-Lorcan is a very doting father-to-be. Elide doesn't have to lift a finger. It's very sweet, but she eventually tells him that she is still capable of doing things herself, she doesn't need him to help with everything .

-They set up the nursery together when she's six months along, in the room that Elide herself slept in as a baby. They're not sure if they're having a boy or a girl, but they'd be happy with either. Though Elide admits she would really like a girl.

-Normally Lorcan is just this stone cold male, showing no emotions ever except around Elide. That doesn't change, not really, but he's more affectionate to her in public and also he's just so sweet. He doesn't talk to the belly, but he does like to feel the baby kick and sometimes he'll just lay his head on his wife's chest so he can hear her heartbeat and also feel the baby kicks.

-It's adorable

-Aelin insists that Lorcan isn't allowed to be that cute

-Elide is like,,, exactly on her due date when she goes into labor. Yrene arrived a bit before, and she's a little surprised that Elide is having her baby on her exact due date. A little weird, but cool.

-Having only recently delivered the Crown Princess Lyria, Yrene expects this labor to be quite long and hard, since it is technically a Fae birth. Haha nope.

-Elide is in labor for about ten hours, which is pretty short for a first baby. It's a very typical labor, no complications whatsoever. Lorcan is there the whole time and holds her hand. It's painfully romantic.

-Many of the servants are nervously walking around the castle, because they love their Lady and don't want anything bad to happen to her or her child. Many congregate in the kitchen downstairs to wait.

-After ten hours of labor, Elide gives birth to a baby boy who screams so loud the servants in the kitchen downstairs can hear him. All the men and women cheer and drink to the cries of the new Heir to Perranth.

-Yrene cleans the baby up for a moment and hands him to his parents with a huge grin. Elide is smiling so wide her whole face hurts but she can't stop. Lorcan has tears in his eyes as he looks at his newborn son.

-He has dark hair, like both of his parents. A lot of dark hair. So much it gets a little on his face. Elide brushes her son's hair aside-

-Holy shit

-His ears are pointed

-Both parents' eyes widen. What??? He's like only a quarter Fae, how?

-It doesn't matter to them, of course, but like, wow.

-Content that Elide is doing well and the baby is healthy, Yrene leaves to give them some alone time with their newborn.

-Both Elide and Lorcan are crying now, out of joy. Lorcan never thought he would cry from happiness in his whole life, and look at him now. Holding his wife and looking at his newborn son.

-They'd been bouncing names back and forth for weeks, and none felt good. But looking at him, they decide on his name.

-Folas Cal Lochan, after Elide's father.

-Lorcan claims he looks more like Elide, but she insists he looks like both of them. After all, both of them have hair as dark as night. But his skin is the same pale shade as his mother's, and he has freckles dusting his little face. He looks up at them with huge black eyes, and holds his father's finger in his tiny fist.

-Elide insists that her husband go and announce it to the servants while she takes a bath. Yrene comes back in to help her.

-Lorcan goes to the kitchen and finds all the servants waiting patiently for some kind of news.

-He just cracks a half-smile and says, "it's a boy."

-And despite the fact he's a literal terrifying death warrior, he lets the servants embrace him and clasps arms with the men, and even accepts a drink.

-But he can't stand to be away for too long, so he quickly makes his way back up to his family.

-Elide is bathing, and she gently cleans her son as well, it's so tender and loving it takes Lorcan's breath away when he sees. So he lets them be for a minute. Yrene just nods knowingly from where she sits quietly in the corner of the bathing room.

-Eventually they finish and Lorcan helps Elide into bed again. He lays beside her and watches their son, and there's so much emotion in his eyes Elide nearly starts crying from it. She's also still like,,, on an emotion high tho, which is part of the reason she's crying at the drop of a hat.

-Elide hands her son to his father, and he looks so tiny in Lorcan's giant hands. Even though he's a normal sized baby he fits in both of his father's hands and it's so cute she cries again.

-They planned to have the baby sleep in a bassinet for a while before they moved him to the nursery, but neither can stand to have him not in their arms so they decide to co-sleep instead. Baby Folas falls asleep on Lorcan's chest, and Lorcan falls asleep holding his son, and look at that Elide's crying again

-About a week after the birth their friends come to see them. Lyria is about four months old at this point and she's super cute just lying next to the new baby and playing with her feet while he sleeps. Aelin is enchanted, and jokingly says it's impossible that something that cute came from Lorcan. Evangeline is enchanted, Lysandra thinks he's adorable, it's just a good day.

-So, it's hard to have alone time with a new baby, but they make it work as soon as Yrene gives the all-clear.

-And ok, maybe they were a little too enthusiastic. But it had been several good months since they were intimate and

-Yeah

-Elide doesn't think it's that strange when her cycle decides to just,,, disappear. It does that a lot. But she does think it's strange when she wakes up one morning when her son is about four months old and is very, very sick. This is giving her a weird sense of deja vu.

-She tells her concerns to Lorcan and he's like 'shit' because what if she's upset if she's pregnant again so soon?

-The healer confirms it. They're having another baby.

-Oof

-Well, in her defense, Aelin is in the exact same situation so there.

-It's true. Aelin is pregnant with her second (Sam)

-And here's the kicker: Yrene is pregnant too.

-Nice

-Not so nice, however, when they realize the closeness of their pregnancies mean Yrene can't deliver their babies. Not a problem, they can get other midwives, but they would rather their friend do it.

-Elide's second pregnancy is smoother, which is good, because her baby boy is getting bigger and she has a lot of stuff to do.

-Folas doesn't show any signs of powers other than being very fast for a baby. It doesn't matter, they love him no matter what.

-Folas walks when he's about ten months old. He stood when he was nine months, but one day he just,,, toddles over to his mom. She's only a few feet away, but still, he walked!!

-He says his first words when he's eleven months. His first word is 'mama', soon followed by 'uh oh' and finally 'dada'. Aelin will never get over Lorcan's son learning to say 'uh oh' before he said 'dada'.

-Elide goes into labor three days before she's due, and has a baby in her arms eight hours later. It's the dead of night, she's bone tired, but she's happy. It's another boy.

-Lorcan is over the moon. He like, already was, but he's so happy to have another baby it's really precious. Folas sit's on his father's lap and holds his baby brother. Elide wishes she could paint because she wants to keep this moment forever, all her favorite boys in one place.

-They name the baby Sabron. He doesn't have a middle name because neither of them have any other guys to name him after.

-And guess what. He's human. Weird af lol. So now they have a Fae-ish child and a human one. Oof

-Everything is smooth sailing, Elide is rocking it being a mom, Lorcan is literally an incredible dad? Like nobody expected him to be a good dad, not even himself (except Elide of course) but this whole parenting thing comes naturally to him. Maybe it's because he's doing the exact opposite of his own parents and he's also super old

-Elide cannot fathom how much she loves this male, like she loves him so damn much especially seeing him with their kids?? Melts her heart every time. So like seventy times a day

-Baby Sabron is six months old when it happens again.

-Elide's cycle is late. After having kids it got way more normal, so she knows what's going on.

-She supposes she could have been better at taking her contraceptive tonics, but hey, she's not upset. Neither is Lorcan when she tells him. He's happy, but worried that she'll be too stressed. She says not to worry, but he does, because he's a territorial Fae bastard and can't help himself.

-This time Yrene promises to deliver the baby.

-When both of her kids are walking, it does get a bit stressful. Especially when Folas proves to be a troublemaker.

-But everything goes smoothly, even better than last time. And boom, Perranth receives another heir.

-It's another boy. Elide loves her boys, but man would she like a daughter at some point.

-She decides not to worry, and just focus on loving her boys.

-This one is named Amias. As expected, he has dark hair and eyes, and the signature Lochan freckles.

-But Amias is also Fae, like Folas

-Folas is happy to have another little brother, especially a Fae one.

-Now picture this: a terrifying Fae warrior who's power is actual death, walking around the castle grounds with two toddlers clinging to him and holding a baby.

-That's what the gardens look like every morning, Elide thinks it's hilarious.

-Elide thinks she's done having kids, she has three wonderful boys, and she loves them with all her heart.

-But when the kids are 3, 2, and 1, she wonders what it would be like with a girl.

-She talks to her husband, and they decide to try for another baby in hopes of a girl. Of course, they wouldn't be upset with another boy, but they're aiming for a girl.

-The next Lochan child arrives when his brothers are 4, 3, and 2.

-That's right; his

-It's another boy. And... he's Fae as well.

-His name is Caeda, and he's arguably the cutest of his siblings. Nobody knows why, but he's the cutest.

-Now, around this time Folas is begging to be trained.

-He may only be four, but he's very strong, very fast, and has the same heightened senses his father has. No signs of magic.

-After discussing it with Elide, they agree to train him, but only a bit.

-With centuries old Fae warriors Lorcan is the worst trainer. But with his son he's gentle and patient and hardly ever gets frustrated.

-Rowan and Fenrys constantly joke about it, asking why he couldn't do that with them. Lorcan only growls in response.

-Caeda is six months old when his parents receive another surprise.

-Elide says that after five, no more kids. She's going on contraceptives and never coming off. Lorcan agrees. He loves his large family but seriously, they have a lot of kids

-The fifth Lochan boy arrives in the dead of night.

-They have five boys

-What the hell.

-They name this one Dalias, and he looks like all the others. There's like no variation in their kids whatsoever, it's kind of funny.

-True to her word, Elide goes on contraceptives. Lorcan does as well to make extra sure.

-Since they're sure she's not having any more kids any time soon, when Dalias is one Elide finally gets her ankle healed.

-It's a huge ordeal, and she sends all her kids away to Orynth so they both stay out of the way and so they don't have to hear her screaming. Because even with Yrene keeping the pain at bay the best she can, it's still incredibly painful. Elide can't stand the thought of her kids having to hear that or see her so weak. Lorcan stays, of course, to help her. The kids come back a month later when it's all done and Elide is learning to walk again. She has to have a cane for several months, in addition to Lorcan's usual brace.

-But eventually it's done, and she can walk and run and jump and do everything again. It's so freeing she happily chases her children around for a day.

-The years go by, and everything goes smoothly. All of the children get trained by their father and tutored by Elide so they are both honed warriors and scholars. I forgot to mention that sometime between all the kids Elide learns to read and it's soon one of her favorite things.

-But yeah, everything's great.

-But,,, they kind of feel like something's missing.

-Not a pet, because they have a dog, but something else.

-When Folas is twelve, they decide to try for another baby. Even if it's another boy.

-Years go by, and nothing. Elide begins to lose hope, they were too late, her mortal body is already too old for more kids even though she's only in her mid-thirties.

-But then,,

-It happens.

-The whole family is overjoyed.

-Yrene delivers a healthy baby girl as the sun rises on a winter morning.

-It's a girl.

-Elide bursts into tears when she hears it. She adores her boys, she loves having so many boys, but she really wanted a daughter. Lorcan too.

-They name her Marion Finnula Lochan, after Elide's mother and her nursemaid who helped her in those terrible years she was locked away.

-She's fully human, like Sabron and Dalias, but that doesn't stop her from doing anything.

-She crawls when she's seven months old and walks at nine, because she wants to run with her older brothers.

-Marion is more territorial than all her brothers and her father combined. It's hilarious, her snarl is better than that of an actual Fae.

-Marion looks exactly like Elide. All of her brothers have some resemblance to their father, but not her. She looks like her mother.

-Marion is a feisty little thing and loves training with her brothers. Elide often complains that her house has turned into a barracks.

-But she loves seeing all her children growing to be so strong and smart.

-The Lochan brothers love their baby sister, but she's honestly more protective over them than they are of her. And they are very protective of her.

-Marion is willing to beat her brothers up 24/7

-It's great

-Perranth is honestly chaos with six kids running everywhere, but it's wonderful chaos. Elide and Lorcan couldn't have it any other way.

-The story Worlds of Fire and Darkness takes place when Folas is 20, Sabron is 19, Amias is 18, Caeda is 16, Dalias is 15, and Marion is 5.

[mrsorange]

Yesterday

Sitting in front of the steering wheel, Paul watched the old building in silence. He gathered the courage to enter because by doing it his whole life would change. During the half of his life, he had tried to bury what his cousin Angus had told him once. They were thirteen years old and they were arguing over who would ask a girl to go out for an ice-cream. But his cousin had gone further.

“I wish aunt Mary would have never adopted you. Everything would be better without you” these were the words that had broken his heart.

During the following months, Paul had tried to talk to his parents but he was afraid of his father's reaction and he didn’t want to worry his mother who wasn’t feeling feel ok. And then the worst happened, Mary passed away. Full of sadness, Paul decided to bury his doubts. The loss of his mother made the idea of ​​having lost another too much pain to bear.

These doubts came back to his life one day when he visited his father. Paul was helping him with the move when he found a photograph of her mother next to a group of nuns.

“what is this photo of mum?” he asked

“Oh … after we got married, your mother worked as a nurse in London because of the war. It was just a few months; she came back due to sick leave… I mean she came back because you were going to be born” his father answered

“You never told us about that”, said Paul but his father didn’t answer and continued ordering

Paul continued helping with the move and didn’t mention the subject again but that photograph sowed doubts about his origin again. Maybe Angus had told him the true.

Paul returned to touring with The Beatles. He was so busy that he didn’t allow himself to think about it but at night in silence and alone with himself he would do it again. One night he couldn't stand it anymore and called his father.

“Paul what happened? It’s 3 AM “his father asked still asleep

“Dad I need to know” he exclaimed

“What happens?”

“Is it true? ... Is it true that mom was not my mom?”  he said with a broken voice

“where did you get that? “His father asked nervously

“I need to know the truth”

“son, this is not a conversation to have on the phone”

And with those words Paul understood that his greatest fear was true, he stayed in silence by the phone while tears fell down his cheeks.

“Paul ... are you there?”

“yes” he mumbled

“Whenever you have free on the tour we will talk ... if you want I can travel or ...”

“No, I will travel. Maybe next week” he interrupted

Paul continued with the tour, playing in the different shows, traveling from city to city but he could only think in his father. Brian was reluctant to give him two days off to travel to Liverpool as their schedule was very tight between interviews and the next trip to Paris. Moreover, Paul didn’t want to tell him why he needed to travel. He didn’t feel sure about telling him or his friends what was happening in his life. He had not even told Lennon who was his best friend.

Finally, Paul visited his father and had the long-awaited talk. However, his father couldn’t tell him everything about his past as his mother had been very reticent about his adoption. Mary had told him not to make any question and love him as if he were his own blood. So, Jim could only give him a name and an address in London.

…………………………………………

Paul got out of the car in his costume that consisted of a black overcoat, a hat and a fake moustache so that people wouldn't recognize him and for now it was working. Women passed by with bags of groceries, a man smoked on the corner and a group of children played football. Suddenly the ball hit the back door of the car causing Paul to panic.

“I’m sorry Sir” said a Ginger boy taking the ball and running away from there.

Paul tightened the lapels of his coat to cover his face a little and climbed the steps of the old building. At that moment a midwife suddenly opened the door. Paul wanted to speak to her but the woman didn’t notice his presence as she was leaving in such a hurry. She got into his car and disappeared at full throttle.

“Excuse me sir ...  can I help you?”  asked another midwife

“yes, I’m looking for Sister Julienne” answered Paul taking off his hat

“Oh yes, wait here please. What is your name?”, the girl asked

“tell her I’m Mary McCartney's son”

Paul was observing the place while he was waiting in the hall. There was a living room with a fireplace that kept the place warm and in one corner there was a television which seemed strange to him.  who could have imagined that nuns would watch television? He kept looking around the place until he saw a corridor and a blackboard caught his attention. He got closer to take a better look. It was a blackboard with women's names, two or three per row, and some were crossed out.

“What are you doing here?” a voice asked and Paul turned around

“I’m waiting for Sister Julienne” he answered nervously

"Wait for her in the living room. You be here," the girl answered. Paul was dazzled by her beauty more than a midwife she looked like a model. She accompanied him to the living room and she stopped to observe him carefully

“You seems familiar to me” she said

“How strange! this is the first time I visit this place” he answered turning his face

Luckily for him the other girl returned with Sister Julianne and when he saw his legs began to shake. she looked at him and said: “James come with me to my office “

As soon as Paul entered, he sat down and took out of his pocket the photo of his mother in the Nonnatus House and put it on the table. The sister took it and smiled as she remembered the moment when the photo had been taken.

“I think you know why I'm here” he said

“And Mary? “She asked although she knew the answer.

“My mother passed away a long time ago that is why I came looking for answers here” he answered with a broken voice “my father told me very little”

Sister Julienne sat in front of him and taking his hands began to narrate how Mary had become his mother:

“At that time our congregation was not only in charge of births. In the middle of the war we also had to take care of those injured by the bombings. We honestly couldn't cope. That is why we got three support nurses, Henrietta, Sarah and Mary. Your mother was just married and had agreed to come to the wolf's mouth just to help others. In those months that we worked side by side, between guards and waking hours, we became very close. She was looking for some comfort since she had lost her first pregnancy. Every child she saw, she protected him and made sure he was safe and sound. One night while we were having dinner after a long day at work, the siren began to sound and we knew it was time for shelter. We went out with the only things we were wearing to the nearest shelter since we did not have much time.  On the way we met a young woman who was no more than 17 years old. She was screaming in pain while leaning against a car. Between the two of us we helped her to put standing and walk the few steps that separated us from our destination”

“Was that young woman my real mother?” muttered Paul

“It's been so long but I still remember her as if it were yesterday. She had light brown hair and freckles all over her face and now looking at you I can tell you that you have the same look of her, especially her eyelashes “she smiled and continued with her story “It didn't take you long to be born. You were a very cute chubby baby. Despite the sounds of the bombs, that night you slept peacefully while your mother hugged you. Mary and I were next to you making sure everything was fine”

“What was her name?” He asked

“I don't know; she didn't want to tell us her name. I didn’t want to insist too much since we were all shocked and scared by what was happening but in the morning I realized why. When we woke up she was gone.  we looked for her everywhere and then we waited for her to appear here but she never did. So, Mary took care of you. She fed you and sang you lullabies until you fell asleep. she didn’t leave your side for a second”  

Sister Julienne stood up and turned to see the cross that was on the wall:  “I don't know if what happened later was right. I always ask God to forgive me. I did not agree but Mary wanted at all costs to take you with her to Liverpool and that's why she falsified your birth certificate. she called your father and arranged to spend some time in Cumbria”.

“my mother did all that” said Paul astonished by this woman very different from the one he had known

“I knew that with her you would be fine but I did not agree with the way she did it. She could have adopted you legally but she did not want to wait. that's why we stopped talking” she sat down again “I don’t know how she receive the sick leave and after that I never heard from her again”

Paul started to cry. After spending so much time trying to bury all his feelings, he was finally able to vent and know the truth. He didn’t understand why they had hidden his origin from him. Despite everything he loved Mary even much more than before and he would never know the reason since she was not there to answer. Perhaps his mother had been afraid that the police would take him away from her or that his biological mother would appear to claim him. Something similar had happened in her neighbourhood with a little girl called Mildred.

Julienne hugged him trying to comfort him: “forgive me for not being able to tell you more things about her”

“Sister, you have helped me a lot. You don't know how much” he said, turning away from her to wipe his tears and making his fake moustache move”

“James you have something”  she said pointing to his face

“Sorry sister” he said and he took it off “it is part of my costume.  I didn’t want to be seen here”

“I see” she said

“I’m not saying it because of the neighbourhood “he explained “I am famous; don't you know The Beatles?”

“I think the girls have mentioned it” she replied

Paul was surprised because she didn’t know the band in the middle of Beatlemania. He began to tell her about their music and how they had managed to get their first album out. When they left the office and headed to the door they heard the TV blasting.

“Sister can you lower the volume?” said Sister Julianne

“No, soon they will be showing the new song of those boys” replied Sister Monica Joan

“She has already prepared her cookies” said the blonde midwife bringing the tray with the teapot

“Trixie and Barbara also want to listen to the program” added the sister

And at that moment the two girls realized who was the mysterious young man who had come looking for sister Julianne. They both were speechless.

“hey boy, don´t you want to sit and watch the program you too?” said Sister Monica Joan

“I can't I have to leave” Paul replied with a smile

Trixie, the young blonde, approached sister Monica Joan and told her who he was.

“IT CAN'T BE TRUE” she exclaimed with joy “ you have to play us a song, you can't leave like this”

“Sister, James … I mean Paul has said that he has to go” said Julienne

“but it's just a song “she begged him

“well, I can play a song”

“Phyllis has a guitar in her room, I'm sure it won't bother her if we borrow it” said the other girl called Barbara and ran to look for it

 Before the small but very important public that consisted of two nuns and two midwives, Paul gave a small concert in the place where he had discovered the truth about his identity. The truth to which he had run away so long and that in spite of everything he had only managed to bond him more with his mother Mary.

Sorry for the grammar mistakes. English is not my first language

[mwolf0epsilon]

ngl josh reading to kids in his spare time sounds really cute, i bet he'd be a good dad

I made this a little sad but yes, Josh would definitely be a good dad :')

Enjoy!!!

---

[[MORE]]

When he first came across a child model Josh didn't know what to say. He knew there were androids meant to simulate human offsprings but he'd never actually thought he'd meet one himself, or any child for the matter...

As a norm PJ500s did not exist in spaces where humans bellow the age of 16 or 18 congregated. They weren't programmed to teach bellow college program levels and thusly had no social protocols for children. Even privately owned tutor PJ-Series were meant to help with advanced studies on topics like socioeconomics and physics.

Talking to a child wasn't rocket science so Josh had failed terribly at it, if the look Simon had given him was anything to go by.

He'd sounded robotic when he spoke to the poor girl, and frankly he had felt ashamed that he not only frightened her but also couldn't find it in him to be welcoming towards her.

Simon had definitely been very upset with him for upsetting the poor thing...

The second time he met a child android was a little less awkward than the first. He'd practiced with Lucy's help. Loosened up a little on the whole teacher-student relationship protocols that tried to force their way into his general demeanor, and helped Simon settle in a pair of YK500s who had been on their way back to the shop after their mother (their owner) had perished on the ride back home from an evening at the bar. At the time he'd played it off cool, but something in the back of his mind had nagged at him that leaving two small children completely alone (even if they were androids), felt like negligent and reckless behaviour from someone who was trying to be a parent...

Josh had felt somewhat satisfied that he'd managed to work out how to talk to little kids. And some of them liked history, so it had fed them little tidbits of historical trivia he knew. The stuff that was age appropriate and non-violent of course. Simon would be furious if he divulged the need behind inventions like the guillotine or a trebuchet.

The third time he meets a child android isn't a moment he likes to remember. In fact, it's perhaps one of his most darkest moments...

He'd been roaming the streets in the late evening, marveling over the little privacy he got from sneaking out and hiding in plain sight. His model wasn't common and he rarely had left campus, so no one thought to look at the big tall guy with the baseball cap and the ratty jacket. He was just another figure walking through the crowd.

It felt like freedom, even if in the end he was just hiding behind a facade.

Josh had nearly missed it himself as he walked. The tiny figure laying in a heap of trash, completely ignored by those who walked right past him.

He looked like a child, but was met with no kindness or sympathy from the humans who'd grown apathetic towards android-kind. The moment they saw blue staining bellow the boy's nose they'd simply turned a blind eye and carried on marching, as if in an assembly line.

Josh had been revolted by this.

Had been so horrified and disgusted that he'd nearly let his anger boil over.

He'd taken the poor YK400 to Jericho, fueled by a gutteral seething rage that would have incinerated those around him if it had come off of him in waves like pure energy.

He'd taken care of the boy himself, the dark look in his eyes having deterred Simon and Lucy from advancing in his direction.

North hadn't bothered him that day either. Instead she curled up with him when he finally came out from behind the blinding veil of rage against humanity.

He cried like a baby that night, and he'd cry again for every single little boy and girl that came crawling into the derelight freighter that should have otherwise terrified any child.

Anything looked like sanctuary when the adults that promised to love and care for you suddenly decided you were not wanted anymore.

Josh starts teaching the YK-series not long after his third encounter. He does his damn hardest to not go onto the advanced topics right away, instead gradually evolving their classes so that the children can naturally adjust to the level changes.

They're eager learner's, especially Ezra who Josh has grown incredibly attached to since rescuing him. The poor boy attends his classes, but his thirium pump malfunctions cause him tremendous discomfort that require him to take short breaks.

That's all fine, because afterwards Josh will sit with him and tell him bedtime stories he's learned from Simon. He watches over Ezra as he sleeps and feels a comfortable warmth in his chest.

---

The day they leave Simon behind in Stratford is the same day Josh has to say goodbye to Ezra. It was a matter of time before his pump shorted out and Lucy had been watching out for the signs.

She finds him browsing through children's books he'd "borrowed" on his last secret excursion to the outside world, trying to forget that his friend is likely dead and gone by now, when the heavily damaged KL-series pulls him towards Ezra's corner.

The boy is terrified and in terrible pain, begging for his short little life. Josh doesn't cry. He holds the boy tightly and hums softly to him before he shuts down for good.

Lucy tries to comfort him but Josh doesn't look at her and doesn't speak. When North returns, crying over androids she hadn't known for more than a minute, he nearly loses his mind with anger.

He feels like she's betrayed him in some way, but he doesn't voice this. Instead he feeds into the growing argument between the both of them and gets out of dodge when Markus tells them to stop.

He only cries when Simon returns, blue blood splatters on his face and a slight limp to his tired geit.

He cries so hard his processor begins to stall.

Simon hums to him, just as Josh had done in Ezra's final moments.

It doesn't feel fair that children had to be in the crossfire of their fight against human oppression. Sadly life was rarely fair.

---

After the revolution Josh continues to teach the android children at the tower. They're all fond of classes, eager learners that they are, and they especially love the extra curricular activities Simon sets up for them, and Josh's bedtime reading sessions.

He wasn't meant to teach kids but he loves it so much he can't bring himself to give up on his teaching sessions with the YK-series. Even in the heat of political tensions.

The humans couldn't make him hate his profession before, and they certainly couldn't do it now either.

He reads to them as a form of healthy enrichment and childish indulgence, but also to honor the little one he'd lost back in Jericho's ruined carcass.

The one he likely would have adopted as soon as the law permitted, if it weren't for the circumstances that took him away from him.

"You're a big softy, you know that?" North chuckled as soon as she caught him at the end of a reading session. The children had all left to go to bed and he'd finished another chapter of 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone' with them.

"You'll find that I have no padding to allow for that." He joked, tapping on his chest and stomach to emphasize on the hardness of his chassis. "Simon's the better hugger."

"You say that because you've never genuinely hugged Markus. His tits are super soft." North grinned mischievously.

"I'm not exactly interested in gropping anyone's... Tits..." He let her drag him away by the arm, smiling as he waved goodbye at some of the stragglers. "The kids are doing good in classes... And they're really liking the book so far. We have a lot of little boys and girls who want to be like Hermione Granger."

"Ever consider adopting?" North suggested.

"If we ever get that far, yes. Cyberlife is fighting us every step of the way though, and some of those politicians are adamant that androids don't need familial units..." He glared angrily at the implications. "Because obviously the YK400s and YK500s don't need parents..."

"Assholes... Well between you and Simon, the kids are good on parents. They've got their big nerd dad and their mother hen."

"What would that make you and Markus?" Josh asked.

"... Cool mom and cool dad?"

"Wow, you suck at this."

"Shut up..." She punched him lightly on the arm.

Josh snorted and carried on walking towards the elevator. He considered North's words and couldn't help smile to himself, a hint of longing in his eyes.

He wouldn't mind a few sets of little tiny feet running around the house...

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Yippin’ and Yappin’

Yippin’ and Yappin’ - Halloween KidgeFest 2018 Day 2 Prompt Fill Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Kidge; mentions of Allurance and Hunay Summary: It’s the first year the Kogane’s will be cerebrating Halloween with a baby in the house, which is an exciting occasion. The problem, however, becomes coming to an agreement on what type of costume their little girl should wear to go trick-or-treating. Costume for baby can be found [here] assuming the link still works. Also, Days 1 and 3 are significantly lengthier than this one and will take a little more time. Goal will be for Day 1 to be out tonight and - hopefully - still get Day 3 out on time! :3 Standard Disclaimer: If you read and enjoy this, please give it a like/ reblog so I know if I should write more.

“No,”

“This is literally the fourth suggestion I’ve made that you’ve turned down! Come on, Pidge, she’d be so cute!” Exasperated, he swiveled around and held the laptop screen up so his wife could see it better. The deadpanned look she gave him would have weakened the resolve of a weaker man. “Look at the puffy little hat! And the trim of the face glows in the dark!”

“I told you before you started looking that there was no way we are dressing Amber up as a pumpkin for Halloween!” She huffed back, adjusting the little tot in her arms just as a tiny hand made a mad grab for the edge of her glasses. She looked down at her grinning daughter with a small grin. “You’re a sneaky little thing, aren’t you? Trying to take Mommy’s glasses and slobber all over them! Think I don’t see you, huh?”

Amber’s response was to let out a loud excited squeal.

“What do you even have against pumpkin costumes, anyway?” Keith asked with a small sigh as he set his laptop aside.

“Everyone dresses their baby up as a pumpkin for their first Halloween,” She said, glancing away from Amber briefly to look back at him. She then tipped her head back and laughed in delight as the baby made another swipe for her mother’s glasses.

“You’re exaggerating,” He scoffed, rolling his eyes at her.

“Oh, is that what you think? Allow me to prove you wrong,” She said, her tone slipping into that maliciously arrogant area that it did when she was about to completely ruin someone’s day. He opened his mouth to say something in response when suddenly a small set of baby feet were swaying right next to the left side of his face. “Here, take this so that I can get on that.” She said, indicating the laptop with Amber’s wiggling feet.

He laughed but reached up to take Amber. He careful spun her around so that she was facing him, laughing at how her eyebrows shot up in shock at seeing him up close. “Changing places on you, huh?” He laughed before moving to place his feet on the edge of the coffee table and prop her up in a pseudo-sitting position with her back against his thighs. Pidge stepped over him to take the spot beside him on the couch. While she loaded up whatever it was she planned to use to disprove his claims, Keith leaned down and pretended to nibble on their daughter’s chubby little legs, delighting in the enthused shrieks his actions earned.

After a moment, Pidge had opened up her Spacebook feed and started scrolling through. Within seconds, Keith started to see what she was talking about.

Of the 33 other first-time mother’s in the local breastfeeding group that Pidge had joined after having Amber, a startling 21 of them were dressing their newborns up as pumpkins for the upcoming festivities. She then checked what was trending with intergalactic parents as well, since some planets had decided to partake in the Earthly tradition, and tons of the parents there were doing pumpkin babies as well. Her point was already made, but he knew she wasn’t satisfied until she’d drive the point straight to the core of the Earth. She then shifted over to their immediate circle of friends and he was further stunned to see that both Alfor, Allura and Lance’s son, and Richter, Hunk and Shay’s son, were also being dressed up as pumpkins. Lance and Allura, though, were planning on it being a family costume, with Alfor as a little pumpkin and his parents going as farmers.

They agreed what the McClain’s were doing was cute, but Pidge’s point had been made; pumpkin costumes were a cliché.

“Well, what should we do instead?” Keith asked with a small sigh, picking Amber up and holding her above his head. She grinned at him, toothless and delighted, and he couldn’t help but smile back. “You said no pumpkins, but you also turned down the ghost and the mummy costumes I suggested.” He glanced at his wife from the corner of his eye as he spoke before focusing on making funny faces to make their baby laugh.

“And I actually really loved that butterfly costume, but they didn’t have that one in her size,” She lamented, setting the laptop on the coffee table. “Additionally, did we want to do a family costume this year?”

He shrugged then looked over at her. “I’m open to it if you want to,” He said.

“I think that’d be really cute, since it’s our first real Halloween as a family. I mean, last year I was still recovering from her actually being born, so doing anything festive was out of the question,” She said, looking over just as Amber turned her head to look at her Mommy. She waggled her finger at their little girl, letting out short snorts at the loud shriek she received, then perked up in surprise when a fluffy head suddenly flopped into her lap. “Oh, that’s why she got so excited. Hello there, Mr. Cosmo. It’s probably almost dinner time for you, huh?” She mused, reaching down to scratch behind one fluffy ear.

The cobalt wolf lifted his head to let out a quiet little half-howl in response.

“Okay, buddy,” Pidge said, gently nudging him off so she could stand, “I’m getting up. I guess we should probably figure out what we’re gonna have for dinner too, huh?”

“Hmm,” Keith agreed, carefully setting Amber back down to sit in his lap, the same way she’d been sitting before. Cosmo walked over, leaning his snout closer to lightly sniff at Amber. Her golden eyes shined bright as the little tot squirmed and shifted to try and make a grab for the wolf, nearly rolling right out of her father’s lap and only being saved by him catching her. “You’re a squirmy wormy today, aren’t you?” He laughed before carefully picking her up and holding her up with one arm. He then patted the spot beside him on the couch and Cosmo hopped up eagerly, carefully shifting so that he was in the reach of the excitedly babbling infant. “Remember, baby girl, we pet our fluffy friends gently.” He cooed softly.

He chuckled a bit as the wolf closed his eyes, allowing the small tot to smack her hand on the top of his head. It wasn’t exactly petting, but it was the closest she could get and she also wasn’t being violent. He always appreciated that Cosmo seemed to understand that she was a bit too small to really understand how to properly pet and appreciate the best she could do.

Watching them, a thought suddenly occurred to him. When Pidge stepped out to let Cosmo know there was a fresh can of wet food in his bowl, she was startled by her daughter being held up towards her, tiny feet resting on her Daddy’s head. “Here, take this. I just had a brilliant idea,” He said.

She laughed but took Amber anyway, settling the little girl on her hip, out of the reach of her face. “I’m playing the smart way this time, lil’ miss,” She teased happily. She turned her attention back to Cosmo and let out a small whistle. “Come on, big boy. Chow time.”

Cosmo perked up before teleporting right beside her and allowing her to lead him to where his food and water dishes were. Pidge gave him another quick pat – and let Amber give him one as well – before heading back to the living room. When she walked over, Keith had turned the laptop screen to face her, a smug grin of his own on his lips. “How about this one?”

Her eyes widened before she glanced back over at him. “They have it in her size?”

“Only five left, but I can set it up for pickup right now,” He said. He then indicated the both of them. “Plus, I have an idea for a family costume we could do pretty easily.”

“Oh ho? And what, may I ask, inspired this?” She teased.

“Honestly, it was Cosmo. He seems to be a pretty good source of inspiration. How do you feel about fairy tales?”

“I’m open to the idea. First, though, get that costume ordered so we don’t miss out. Then we can figure out dinner, and discuss out plans from there,” She mused lightly.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

The sun was just barely beginning to disappear as the cars started rolling up to the park. Some older kids were running here and there, decked out in their full costumes and eagerly play-fighting in accordance to their respective outfits. There was a small area of picnic tables under a little ramada nearby, where some of the younger children were congregated with their parents.

“Aw, Richter looks so cute!” Allura cooed happily at the little boy bouncing in his father’s arms.

“Thanks! Though, I will admit, it was a bit hard to adjust the seam of the costume to account for his tail,” Hunk laughed. He then looked over at the infant Shay was gently bouncing, who was happily babbling around a mouthful of said tail.

Lance chuckled, carefully adjusting the straw hat on his head to look around, the other settled on the back of his son, dozing off from his position strapped to his chest in a baby sling. “Are we just waiting on the Mullet Clan?”

“We’ve been here a while. You just couldn’t see around the brim of your big, doofy hat,” Pidge chimed, a smug grin on her lips as she approached. Then, seeming to think better of it, she indicated his hat with one hand. “Nice hat, by the way.”

Lance harrumped at her, adjusting his hat again and raising an eyebrow at her. “So… What, exactly, are you supposed to be?” He asked.

Pidge preened at him. “Oh, I’m the Huntress of the forest,” She beamed, indicating the leather belt and fake axe on her hip.

Keith slid up beside her, pushing a stroller. He was wearing a bright red hooded sweater and had a plastic pumpkin-shaped goody basket hanging from one arm. “And I’m Red Riding Hoodie,” He said, waving one hand.

Pidge then leaned down to the stroller, fiddling with the straps to carefully pull out and present their daughter, decked out in a fluffy, grey costume of her own. “And this is our Petite Sweet Wolf!” She beamed.

Amber looked around at the other adults and infants, kicking her little feet in the open air. This revealed little pink paw pad marking on the bottoms of the fabric covering her toes. Immediately, the other parents cooed over her as Pidge stepped closer, eagerly engaging with the others and their babies as well.

Keith grinned as he walked over at well, reaching to take Amber from Pidge, the little girl peeking over her mother’s shoulder to make faces at him. The little costume was ridiculously soft, with the head of the piece having so much fur that the little tips of the ears were near-invisible. The little bottom of the costume completely covered her little feet, but her hands were left exposed, allowing her to eagerly reach out towards Alfor as Lance approached him. “Wasn’t expecting a fairy tale theme from you guys,” He remarked as he reached them.

Alfor had perked back up a little, blinking blue eyes blearily at the world around him. “Well, once we picked out her costume, we just kind of figured our out pretty easily from there,” He mused, adjusting his hold on his daughter so that she was closer to one of her little friends while he chatted amicably with the other man.

Seeing as he was in her reach, Amber reached out, took a handful of his pumpkin hat, and yanked it right off. Alfor stared at her, completely stunned, as she looked from him, back to the hat, and then moved to put it in her mouth. This resulted in him releasing a piercing wail of displeasure. All he adults jumped and looked over, Keith narrowly managing to yank the hat free of Amber’s little hands before it could make contact with her mouth.

Lance scowled at him while he sheepishly offered it back. “Uh, sorry. She’s at that age where everything has to be examined by her mouth,” Keith explained.

The other huffed a bit, taking the hat and fitting it back over his son’s head and trying to soothe him. Allura offered an understanding smile to Keith. “Since the children are getting restless, I believe we should start doing this tricking and treating, correct?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Keith agreed, turning to look at Pidge as walked over to join him. The others started to corral their little group towards the other end of the ramada area while he tilted his head to whisper to Pidge. “Okay, I just need to say; I’m glad I listened to you about the costume.”

“Oh yeah?” She asked as she carefully folded up their stroller and tossed the carrying strap over one shoulder.

“Yeah. That hat barely fits on Alfor’s head with how easily Amber yanked it off. The wolf cub hood fits on her perfectly, though,” He said, holding Amber up to press a kiss to her nose.

She squealed and pinched at his cheeks eagerly, earning another laugh from Pidge as they made their way to join the others.

[goldenscript]

childhood friend!seokmin

being forced to come to a family reunion isn’t the best

your aunts usually rag on you about getting a significant other, your uncles are always drunk,,, prolly telling you to invest whatever money you make at your job on them bc everyone is like 1000000000000000% sure that you’re gonna make it big,,, even your parents are a little lost in the madness

usually these sorts of shindigs are divided among factions i.e all the aunts together, the uncles together barbecuing or drinking, the new mothers are huddled with babies on their laps, and the kids are running around the backyard playing games

then there’s you,,, in that awkward in between of an adult age that’s too old to hang with the younger kids but still pretty young compared to the adults so you’re just ~there~

it’s not even like you don’t like spending time with your family or anything either - you just don’t know how to keep up with the drunk aunts and uncles or the little kids screaming their heads off

so you’ve resolved to just sitting on the couch in the garage where it’s relatively more chiller compared to the living room and the garage

the tv’s playing and you see a few of your cousins there with their friends but they’re in like middle school so you’re def’ not trying to “cramp their style” like you did at the christmas party lmao

and tbh it kinda sucks that you only have your phone to keep you company since you specifically remember how you used to have someone to play with when you were a kid

he wasn’t quite part of the family blood wise as he was as close as blood could probably get

he was like your dad’s brother’s friend’s son or something like that and you specifically remembered he loved going by dk

his parents reassured you that he wasn’t actually named donkey kong or anything but he did really love that videogame and he used to show you how to play after the family made him sing karaoke because the kid could s i n g

always the ballads and hits every single high note

Every

Single

One

none of the aunts or the uncles who think they can do it complain one bit either,,, like they’re literally cheering him on like he’s in some concert and always ask for encores

one time he even dragged you in on that mess and although you hated him for it, he made it really fun for you and,,, well,,, even ten year old you loved seeing his smile on him

so just remembering him makes you wonder what ever happened to him

like you’ve been to a huge majority of the parties,,, okay,, well, not all of them and you did stop recently because of school but coming out today makes you wonder if he’s coming

for a while that weighs on your mind, a part of you kind of anticipating him,,, even if you’re not that sure what he looks like anymore

perhaps luck is on your side because after a while you go inside (kinda forced by the grannies), congregating by the snacks table because food is important and you’re hoping this will stop your aunts from nagging you to eat (it doesn’t) and you hear some chatter off to the sides and even see a small crowd around the living room by the tv

somewhere in the mix is your aunt is trying to sing “my heart will go on” and it isn’t that terrible LOL she’s trying ok

there’s a head peeking from the top but you don’t think much of whoever it is as they make their way over,, one of the other aunts ushering him to go eat but you swear you see your dad’s brother’s friend

and seeing the boy coming towards you makes you think it’s who you’re hoping but,,, man, even if he isn’t,, he’s REALLY handsome

“oh seokmin! go eat ok? eat a lot!!! you must still be growing y’know” one of the lazier aunts beside you at the table is telling him

and you’re just like ‘holy shit that IS seokmin kjdsfhskhf’

he notices you as he’s grabbing some chicken wings and all that other good stuff and there’s this flash of recognition in his eye but he seems too shy to say anything and you’re certainly a lil’ put off because holy hell??? HE GOT SO HANDSOME KJSHSJKHFS

so that same aunt, not much older than either of you, is an evil lil’ shit because she just goes “so y/n, don’t you remember seokmin here???” she even turns to your other semi-drunk aunt like “wouldn’t they be cute together???”

and they’re just like agreeing and jabbering,,, about you two and everything else under the sun but you feel him nudge you and you look up to see him gesturing towards the kitchen

with their conversation straying away from you two you both escape into the kinda empty kitchen and you’re both kinda just awkwardly there because,,, did your aunt just do that?? is seokmin really here?? how did mother nature favor him so much???

to say the least, you feel pretty embarrassed especially when you’re looking at him and just really seeing how handsome he is as he leans against the kitchen counter with a plate of wings in hand

it’s funny to you just how much time has like changed you two because y’all used to be the same height and now here he is towering over you

though you do hope that his personality still remains as bright and sunny as usual and from the looks of it, he’s still that kinda shy boy who does nothing but eat and still not gain an ounce of fat like a secondhand talent

you can’t help but smile though since all you’ve ever felt is fondness toward him and you’re pretty resolved in keeping those memories close

and ok so he catches you smiling and he matches it with that full blown smile and goes “what??”

“sorry,,,” and when he gives you an inquisitive look because what are you sorry abt??? looking cute??? you say, “for my aunts,,, and i dunno having to hide out in here”

he just shakes his head and says, “nah, it’s fine. if they see me out there, they might make me sing again”

“do you still sing?”

“yeah, i still love it”

“that’s good” you feel like a warmth spread because,,, it just makes you happy that hasn’t changed - in a way, college has been a huge change for you and sometimes you feel like things are changing way too fast and even though you didn’t want to come to the party because of studying and all that, it makes you feel a little happy to be there and to see everyone and ask how they’ve been

at the least there hasn’t been much changes in your family gatherings besides the obvious physicals ones - they’re all still pretty nutty and talkative but all adorable and endearing in their own ways

as obnoxious as the drunken elders can get, you get so many laughs just watching them and hearing all their stories about their trips to like malaysia or hiking at yosemite,,, it’s all just really nice to hear about and so to see that seokmin is still that sunny boy makes you feel so,,, happy

even with this semi-awkward atmosphere settling in, you can’t help but feel at ease,,, just unsure of what to say

at least until one of the uncles saunters in and does this old joke with his teeth and the two of you react the same way as you both did as kids and jump and it causes the three of you to burst into this huge fit of laughter

this kind of paves the way for the two of you to talk and escape to the backyard where it’s a literal devoid of children (surprisingly) on the playground because they’ve all resolved on remaining in the garage where mario kart and wii games are all in session

at first it’s talking about childhood and change because you nervously bring up your aversion to it and he relates because the future is so scary and unpredictable but he also believes that keeping close to the comforts of nostalgia will do some good for the two of you - which is also why he came to the gathering !!! (that definitely makes you go !!!)

eventually you stray away from all the seriousness and even talk about all the memories you two shared and how happy those times were and it just feels so easy now to just update one another on what’s been going on like how he’s in the acapella group in school and he absolutely adores it and you tell him about how college is kinda killing you but you have a killer study abroad program coming up

though when that’s said he gets only a little sad and goes “you’re leaving me already? i just got you back” and he looks like such an adorable pup so you can’t help but pat his head and say “yeah but we’ll keep in touch this time right?”

he like lights up and gets a lil’ nervous because now that he doesn’t have the plate of chicken wings, having finished it before going to the playground, he holds his phone out to you a lil’ shakily and says “c-can i have your number?”

you’re a little awestruck even if you should’ve expected it but like i said seeing him as attractive and funny and sweet as he is, it feels like this could stir up trouble for you and your heart already

of course you give it to him and he gives you his and he looks so elated you can’t help but voice aloud, “god you’re so cute” and you go bright red because,,, Holy Shit,,,,, you really just said that but even more so, he goes super flushed in the cheeks and fumbles with a thank you

and after a moment of this stewing silence, he goes “you look really good too, y/n”

looking at him, you see how serious he is and how genuine he’s being,,, like it feels like there are stars in his eyes and makes your heart do a funny skip and your stomach does a flip

you’re about halfway with a thank you when your aunt comes in and becomes the two of you forth, mischief in her eyes because she totally just say you and seokmin having a moment and the two of you follow her and everyone is asking him to sing

and he’s like even more flushed because !!! they really love his voice and it really makes him happy and when he sees you he gets really happy - not only with nostalgia but with hope for a better relationship with you like he doesn’t know what’ll come with you two keeping in touch but he knows that he’s willing to take that change and go beyond just party buddies y’know?

so he does something daring because he remembers the look on your face back when you were kids when he did this and he looks at all the waiting faces and says “ok,,, i will But y/n has to sing with me”

your jaw drops and you’re ready to decline but everyone looks at you with these pleading, puppy like eyes and your aunt’s nudging you and sending a wink your way and when your gazes settles on seokmin,,, you really feel like you can’t say no

he has his hand out towards you and goes “c’mon, like old times?”

you don’t know what overcomes you but you also don’t mind the idea of stepping into this change because,,, well,,, it’s seokmin

he’s always made you feel at ease when you were younger and it really feels no different to now so you just,,, let loose

you take his hand, looking slightly begrudgingly but still smiling nonetheless, “thanks,,,dk”

he chooses what you think is some random ballad until you hear the first few notes and he just winks at you and says “seriously, anytime”

he lets out this really cute laugh and you feel the smile on your lips growing and he grins back at you because whatever else happens later can happen whenever, the only thing you two are focusing on rn are each other and that song (and your aunt totally whooping at you two LOL)

[svubloods]

Imagine Munch, your Dad, catching you kissing Carisi

(A/N: For @girlygirlbishop , sorry for the long wait. I hope you and everyone else enjoys this) 

Imagine Munch, your Dad, catching you kissing Carisi 

“Well, look who it is,” You smirked as noticed your boyfriend Sonny striding into the bar after slipping in almost silently.

“I was hoping on scaring you,” He sighed, clearly annoyed that his attempt to surprise you had failed.

“You’re going to have to try harder,” You commented as he took a heavy seat at the bar across from you where you were wiping the counter.

“How do you always know that I’m coming?” He inquired, curious as he had been attempting for months to successfully catch you off guard and give you a fright.

It had a become a cute friendly competition between the two of you. Well, at least it started that way. Surprisingly, he had as much of competitive spirit as you did.

“I can sense it,” You shrugged.

“You can sense it?” He questioned, skeptically.

“Yeah,” You confirmed, “I just get these feelings or instincts, you know? Like I just know what's happening or who's around. It’s basically how I passed high school because I always just used to know what was going to be on my tests. But don’t tell my Dad that,”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” He chuckled.

“He would hardly approve of me believing that I have supernatural powers,” You joked.

“He probably would say it was just deductive reasoning or something,” He offered.

“Well, it could be,” You agreed, “Just like how all you cops get ‘gut instincts’”

“Did you just agree with your Dad?” Sonny questioned, surprised, widening his eyes at you and raising his eyebrows.

“Don’t tell him that either,” You warned, swatting him with your cloth for good measure.

“I promise I won’t,” He stated reassuringly, “But is there possibly something I could tell him?”

“We’ve gone over this,” You sighed.

“You’ve gone over this,” He corrected, “You talk and I just listen,”

“That’s because I’m the only one that speaks any sense,” You reminded, tilting your head at him as you threw the cloth over your shoulder and leaned against the bar to be closer to him.

“Would it be that bad…” He began to ask, taking your hand instinctively.

“Yes,” You interrupted, as both of yours and Sonny’s hands intertwined.

“But he’s a cop himself,” Sonny began to argue for the umpteenth time.

“Doesn’t mean he likes them,” You sighed.

“He must like them,” Sonny countered.

“Okay, he likes them,” You gave in, “Doesn’t mean he wants one dating his daughter,”

“But we’ve met a couple times,” Sonny insisted, “He likes me,”

“Well…” You let out before stopping yourself.

“He doesn’t like me?” Sonny questioned, in disbelief not to mention shock.

“It’s not that he doesn't like you,” You attempted to remedy, “He just hasn’t had enough time to get to know the real you,”

“Has he said something about me?” Sonny inquired, intently studying your probably guilty expression.

“He may have mentioned something about the tall Italian detective that he said replaced him,” You commented off-handedly as you walked towards the other end of the bar promptly.

“And what exactly did he say?” Sonny interrogated, getting up and following you down the bar.

“Does it really matter?” You chuckled cautiously, “He just needs to get to know you,”

“Y/N…” Sonny stated.

“In yours and his defense you’ve only met a couple of times and all of them were work related,” You offered.

“Why in my defense?” Sonny questioned.

“I’d just like to start by saying that I think you’re wonderful,” You smiled reassuringly probably too much so.

“Okay…?” He prompted, narrowing his eyes at you.

“But even I didn’t think much of you when we first met,” You confessed.

“Really?” He questioned.

“It was the mustache sweetie,” You smiled, comfortingly.

“I didn’t have one when I met your Dad,” He reminded.

“Then something is definitely wrong with him and not you,” You agreed, half-heartedly, circling the bar to give a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks,” Sonny chuckled burrowing into you, “Even though I know you’re lying.”

“His first two wives were Italian,” You informed, your arms still wrapped around him, “He gets flashbacks of flying rolling pins and frying pans whenever he smells cannoli’s.”

“Alright, so when we have dinner for the first time I’ll be sure to make Cassata instead,” He nodded, “That is  if we ever get there,”

“I will tell him…eventually,” You reassured.

“Okay,” He sighed, “But I just wish I didn’t have to hide our relationship and how I feel about you,”

“Which is?” You asked.

He was about to speak when one of your regulars came bursting through the door, calling for you excitedly.  You and Sonny sprang apart in the nick of time, so by the time he registered the both of you, you were circling the bar and absent-mindedly pouring a drink. You really should have checked the time. Most shifts had finished ten minutes ago, you should have expected your hoard of regulars to start pouring in.

Sal, the regular, took a seat next to Sonny, who he knew, and launched into a story about his day while ordering a drink. You kept flashing sneaky smiles as you got to work. It was Friday so it was one of the busiest nights of the week.

Though saying that, with the tough jobs cops had, almost every night was busy here. Here, being the bar you own and run.

Growing up, you never even considered let alone, let alone pictured yourself running a bar when you grew up, let alone a cop bar but sometimes the road unplanned is the one you’re meant to be on. In fact, for most of you life, you were adamant on not having anything to do with cops. You weren’t ever going to become a cop or be associated with any other cops beside your Father and the ones he worked with.

It’s not like you hated cops are anything, it was the job you hated. You hated how dangerous it was but most importantly you how hated how hectic and pressurized it was. It was the reason your Dad couldn’t always make his weekend visits to see you and the worst part for you back then was that you couldn’t ever complain because ultimately he was helping someone or delivering justice. Or you know amusing one of his colleagues with one of his conspiracy theories. Which you had a passion for yourself, to be honest, you couldn’t how anyone could a good old mind-blowing conspiracy theory. They’re truly fascinating. Your personal favorite is about the moon landing or should you say the supposed moon landing.

You had to inherit your Dad’s obsession, you were his only child after all. You were John Munch’s only child with his third wife. You weren’t planned and therefore unexpected. If whatever failed, you never asked for the details, hadn’t you don’t think your Dad would have had any children. He loved you of course but you could just tell that becoming a Dad wasn’t ever his plan. Probably due to his childhood, which you were only privy to because of you mother. Your Dad ever discussed it with you himself. Your Dad in the kindest of words was a sometimes lovable eccentric, which meant you childhood was far formed conventional.

Your parents split up when you were two years old. There wasn’t ever a fight over custody of you, due to his job your Dad was more than happy to let your Mom and her new husband have you for the majority of the time while he had you on weekends. Your parents got on quite well despite splitting up. Your Dad moved to New York because your Step Father got a job here and he, of course, wanted to see you still. So when you were ten you all moved to New York together.

Things got better when you moved. You began to see your Dad more often than before when you lived in Baltimore. It wasn’t because his job changed or things were less hectic at the Special Victims Unit, in fact, it was probably more. You think dealing with those sorts of cases just reminded him of how important you were to him and how much he loved you. You can’t even count the times when you were a kid and he would come to see you on a weekday just to hug you or if it was really late, just watch you sleep. A little reminder that he still had you.

At around fifteen your perception of the law enforcement profession had improved. Mostly due to your Father’s new squad at the Special Victims Unit, Liv and Fin, in particular, you should add. But it completely changed then as well. By a strange coincidence, though like you Father you don’t particularly believe in those, or chance, another thing your Father doesn’t believe in, your school was shut for a week due to a flood and your Mom and step Dad was on vacation which meant you were staying with your Dad for the week. And since you couldn’t go to school, you ended up going to the station every day. Hanging out the station while your dad ‘worked tirelessly’ on the squad's current case.

Spending that extended time with those in the profession really warmed you up to it but it was the bar that everyone would go to after shift which made you fall in love with cops, though you still didn’t want to become one yourself, not like any of your parents would let you anyway. The bar in question was located conveniently the same distance from four different stations in obviously four different directions. It was tavern like and large, so it were officers from all ranks and all four stations congregated after their shifts. To chat, our their hearts out, laugh and forget about their days.

It was there you realized that one of the core parts of being a cop was the camaraderie. Everyone, once they had a drink in them, was everyone's friend. It truly was this big family that supported each other through thick and thin. And coming from a small and not to mention unusual family, it was amazing to see. Nobody cared about station, rank or reputation (as long as it wasn’t dirty or corrupt) inside these four walls. They were all brothers and sisters, wearing blue and serving the people of New York. It was watching this and the relief and excitement they had when the day was over and they got to come here which made you fall in love with cops. Not to the extent of becoming one yourself but to the extent that you knew if you ever got the chance to preserve that feeling of them, you would. Plus it made you appreciate the scarifies that your Dad made, suddenly you didn’t mind that he couldn't make every weekend visit. Besides from early accompany your Dad to the bar and visiting the station whenever the opportunity arose, your new found love and respect didn’t have much of an impact on your life.

You graduated and went to university before attending Wharton business school. Much to your Father’s dismay, you were turning a capitalist apparently. You bounced from high-level positions at multiple large companies for a while but it never truly satisfied you.Your Dad may have been a cop but your Step-Father was a prominent investment banker who fuelled your entrepreneurial spirit. You wanted to stay in the lifestyle that he had provided for you and your Mom. You wanted to make something of yourself and help there's and working for large soulless companies just wasn’t doing it for you.

Around three years ago you thought you were doomed to live the corporate life forever when another coincidence or even chance took place. Happiness from tragedy. Your Step Grandmother died and you were honestly devastated, you were her only grandchild as she had only had one son who never had any of his own children. She was your only living Grandparent and your death hit you really hard. You were drowning your sorrows when your Dad decided to take you to one of your favorite places. The famous cop bar, you attended on the regular with your Father so everyone including the owner knew who you were. That night, in particular, they were all trying to cheer you up naturally, the only person who wasn’t trying was the owner, Ken.

He poured you a drink before pouring himself one. He explained to you while nursing it bitterly that he was getting too old to run the place and because he didn’t have any kids he couldn’t pass it on nor did he trust anyone enough to run it for him. Leaving him with the only option of selling the place. He was hoping to sell it to someone that would continue on its legacy but he feared he would have to sell it to some big chain instead.

You ended up comforting him by the end. You told him that things always work out, he made a comment about how you were so much like you Dad. Which at the time you didn’t understand because that was definitely something that he wouldn’t say.

The next day, you along with your Mother and Step-father attended the reading of her will. She left you everything. It was a shock to you but apparently expected by everyone else. It was so much money that you could hardly believe it. And as soon as the cheque was handed to you, you knew what you were going to do with it. You went straight to the bar and made an offer. Seeing you as Granddaughter, Ken immediately accepted, he hadn’t ever considered you running it.

But that’s what happened.

You closed the bar for a couple of months to do renovations much to the police forces dismay but when you reopened with the old look modernized and updated they were more than happy. You kept the name and all the regulars came back. In fact even more cops and not to mention even noncops started coming to the bar as it was on longer seen as a placer purely the old timers but a place for all cops and whoever wanted to spend time with cops or someone who like the feeling of being surrounded by cops.

But like you said you never pictured yourself running a bar but it was so natural. The business school probably helped out but you just knew from the second you signed those papers that here is where you belonged. You finally hit your stride and suddenly you loved your job. No one left without smiling or having a laugh. It was just the best place to be every night. It just fulfilled your life in a way you couldn’t have ever managed. Plus, you and your Dad got even closer because he would just come and chat the night away with you. Occasionally you worked the bar but of course, you couldn’t stay up all night as you had to day to day stuff during the day as well as manage all of your employees.

You had been so consumed with running the bar that over the three years since you had opened it that you’d only been on a couple of dates. None of them going anywhere that was until you met Sonny around which is around eight months ago now. But you’ve only been dating for six months.

It was a random Friday night which conveniently was the only night you worked the actual bar and it just so happened that your Father wasn’t going to be there that night. Coincidence once again or even possibly a conspiracy may be set up by your Father to cure your loneliness, though that is highly unlikely.

“Hi there,” You greeted confused as a tall not to mention handsome man entered the bar a good hour before you opened.

“Hi,” He returned casually before visibly being taken aback when he made eye contact with you.

“Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” You chuckled.

He just laughed awkwardly not making eye contact with you, as he shoved his hands into his pockets and fidgeted. As if he was nervous though Sonny now says he was just playing it cool because he thought you were cute.

“I’m Y/N by the way,” You announced as you continued to get the bar ready for the night.

“Sonny well technically Dominick,” He fumbled, “Dominick Carisi Jr,”

“Well, hello there Dominick,” You winked, “Take a seat,”

He complied quickly and took a seat right in front of you.

“Can I get you something?” You inquired kindly.

“Just a beer,” He replied.

You nodded and poured him one.

“So,” You continued, eyeing him up carefully, “Does today happen to be your first day at new station?”

“Yeah,” He nodded, “I just started at Manhattan SVU,”

“Did the guys tell you about this place?” You asked.

“They said it was tradition,” He recited.

“It is,” You confirmed, “So which station did you transfer from?”

“109th,” He informed as you slid him the drink, “Thanks,”

“So none of the infamous four,” You commented, eyeing him up.

He shook his head.

“So you don’t know about the hour tradition then?” You questioned.

“What other tradition?” He countered.

“Then one where they send newbies into the bar an hour before it opens so they have to sit in for an hour, looking stupid.” You finally gave in.

“I feel so stupid,” He sighed, “I thought it was weird that no one else was here,”

“Well, you only looked marginally stupid,” You chuckled, “And I did try to make you feel less awkward,”

“It helped,” He smiled.

“At least you aren’t alone,” You mentioned.

“You’re right,” He nodded with a grin, “I have you,”

“You have me,” You agreed, taking a sip of your own drink that you had poured, “Cheers,”

“Cheers,” He grinned, tapping your glass.

You sent the rest of the evening talking to Sonny. Explaining that the tradition had been happening since before you were born and that it was all four stations favorite way to break in new recruits and transfers alike. Which is why the door was open though you did make a point to mention that the opening times were on the door. Besides from that, you talked about yourselves as well. He told you about his family and his career history and you did the same though in that first meeting you didn’t tell him who your Father was. You knew that someone would have mentioned him while at SVU.

Since Sonny wasn’t traumatized by a successful hazing he began to make it a habit of coming into the bar with eyeing else, though he was coming more for you, you later learned, than any of the drinks. You continued to get to know each other and as soon as he mentioned that he had met your Father you mentioned that he was in fact that he was you, Father. Which made that whole first meeting way more important to Sonny.

You were just friends for two months, granted very fast and very close friends but just friends. Sure, you thought Sonny was cute and all but had just assumed that’s all it was going to be. That was until he actually asked you out.

You never thought that you would go out with a cop but it was honestly one of the best decisions you had ever made. Not only was the sweet, sensitive and funny but he also treated you great and he just mad you really happy. All you had to do was see him and it could change your whole mood. You craved being around him and you just knew that you were completely smitten. Hell, you were in love with him. You knew around four months that you were but you still hadn’t said anything two months later at six months. It was just never the right time nor were you ever confident that he would say it back. You were sure he would but what if he didn’t.

The only problem was that you knew your Father wouldn’t exactly approve of you being in a relationship with a cop especially one he has worked with, even if it was only for a day. Despite him being a cop himself and you running and owning one the most popular and famous cop bars he was adamant on keeping you from being directly involved in the cop lifestyle. Though you were basically already a part of it. You don’t understand why exactly why he was so against it. Maybe he didn’t want you to be a cop's wife, he had first and experience with that after having four wives or maybe he didn’t want you to get hurt. Marrying a cop did mean you had a higher chance of being a widow but that was hardly something you should try to avoid. The truth is that anyone could die from a freak accident at any time, you couldn’t let it control your life.

“Sonny,” You hummed as he pulled you into the backroom, “What are we doing back here?”

He just put a finger up to his lips before continuing to pull you further into the back room. It was another Friday night and it was way past closing which meant it was more Saturday morning than Friday night. You and Sonny had been participating in celebrating one of the regulars birthday celebrations so it was safe to say that the both of you were a little drunk. Luckily, you had managed to lock up and get everyone out before closing time.

“Sonny,” You whined as he got you up against one of the shelves at the very back of the room.

“Y/N,” He repeated, grinning, playing with your hair and biting his lip.

“What are we doing?” You inquired as you started playing with his tie as he put a hand up on the shelves, leaning into you.

“Just having fun,” He mummers against your lips before kissing you.

“I like this sort of fun,” You winked, after breaking away briefly.

A cheeky grin formed on his lips before he started kissing you again. You were pushing up against each other and Sonny’s hands found their way to your waist. In a swift motion, he hoisted you up so your legs were wrapped around his waist. Using the shelves as leverage so his hands could continue to explore the upper half of you body. You did the same, leaning even more into it. You both got so caught up that you didn’t even care that things had been falling off the shelves due to the friction. In fact, you both found it funny, laughing about it between your heated make-out sessions.

The kissing was about to start into to progress into something more when the door suddenly burst open and there were suddenly two guns drawn at you shouting.

“NYPD!” You both shouted in unison.

The shock of it all caused Sonny to drop you but he still instinctively took a step in front of you as if to protect you.

“What the hell is going on here?” You heard your Dads voice demand.

“Dad!?” You spluttered.

“That isn’t an answer!” He commented in the same shouty and accusatory tone.

“Is it not obvious?” Fin chuckled, “They were making out,”

“Uncle Fin, you’re here too?” You sighed, dramatically.

“Yeah, kid,” He confirmed.

“Who is this shmuck?” Your Dad continued, beginning to pace as you stayed behind Sonny.

“We’ve met before Sir,” Sonny, suddenly sobering up, informed cautiously.

“It’s Carisi, he’s the newbie at SVU,” Fin reminded.

“A cop? You’re making out with a cop. I thought we had an agreement!” Your Dad accused.

“We weren’t just making out as strangers,” You insisted, “We’re dating. We have been for a while.”

“For how long?” He questioned.

“Six months,” You reluctantly confessed.

“And you haven’t said anything?” He asked.

“Because I knew you would act like this,” You exclaimed, finally taking a step from behind Sonny so you were now standing in front of him.

“Like what!” He screamed.

“Irrational,” You spat.

“I’m not being irrational I’m trying to be a good parent,” He sighed.

“Good parents don’t patrol who their kids can and can’t date based on their profession,” You countered.

“I know what cops are like,” He argued.

“I know you think you do but you don’t know what this one is like,” You stated, “He isn’t like other cops, Dad,”

“And how do you know that?” He asked.

“Because I’m in love with him,” You responded without thinking.

“You are?” Your Dad asked. “You are?” Sonny asked, surprised.

That’s when you realized what you had said. You winced at your own constant and always awful timing, another trait you picked up from your Father.

“Yes,” You gave in, turning to Sonny, “I have. I do. I have for a while.”

“When?” He inquired, taking your hand and everyone else just vanished.

“I knew two months ago,” You confessed.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Sonny asked, getting closer to you.

“I didn’t know if you felt the same way,” You admitted.

“Oh Y/N,” He smiled, putting his hands on you cheeks, “Of course I love you too,”

“You do?” You asked.

“I do,” He confirmed, before kissing you.

Then you both remembered where you were.

“That’s enough,” Your Dad sighed impatiently as you pulled away.

“Sorry,” You both apologized.

“They’ve both been drinking,” Fin commented.

“I can tell,” Munch huffed.

“Please Dad,” You pleaded, “Give him a chance?”

“I’m not happy about it but I will for you,” He gave in.

“Thank you,” You smiled, kissing your Dad on the cheek.

“We could come over for dinner,” Sonny suggested,

“I don’t eat dinner,” He continued to huff.

“That’s a great idea,” You comforted Sonny while tossing a glare at your Dad.

“Fine,” He gave in once again, not wanting to upset you, “But I’m warning you Carisi or whatever your name is, I  don’t eat Cannoli’s,”

“I make a great Cassata,” Sonny smiled.

“Italians,” Your Dad muttered as he walked out of the room quickly followed by Fin.

“So much for you being able to sense when people are coming,” Sonny whispered.

“I was distracted,” You defended.

“Yeah, you were,” He smirked, leaning in for another kiss.

“We have bigger problems,” You reminded, stopping him and gesturing to the door.

“You think I can’t charm him?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You nodded.

“Guess, I’ll just have to prove you wrong,” He winked before walking out the room.

“This isn’t going to be good,”

[ourmomzone-blog]

When is Enough Enough When it Comes to Our Children - Birthdays and Holidays

Let's face it; our kids have it good - You can find pretty much everything you want in the world of children these days, fulfilling any dream they, or you, have ever had. Assuming you have the money, you can buy scaled-down versions of your clothes, brightly coloured techno-gadgets and even child sized, off-road cars and BMX bikes. There are those who don't have the cash, but don't hold back when it comes to their children. They max out the credit cards and don't worry about it until the New Year. However, when jobs are uncertain, the only practical thing to do is to make changes in how we spend. Out go the social lunches, the take-away cappuccinos and the personal trainer. It would be sensible to extend these cutbacks to our children and teach them a little about fiscal responsibility, but it's not as easily done as said. How people feel about themselves is often tied in with how well they think they are doing at parenting. Too often, and wrongly, that means what they are able to provide materially for their children.

Recession, what recession? - Surprisingly, considering all the doom and gloom we hear, there seem to be many families, with only one working parent and two cars in the driveway, who still manage annual passes to Legoland, two holidays a year planned around what "makes the children happy" and the requisite birthday bash with entertainer and designer cake. That's not me particularly, but I overspend in other ways. I'm sure you can relate. How many times have we headed to the shops to bargain-shop for something we actually need and come back home laden down with bags of cute clothing, the kid's magazines with the crap toy taped to the front cover, or an extra pair of Ugg boots for when their completely impractical white pair gets dirty. The reason given is usually something like "I knew she would love it. I couldn't leave it there." Listen to mothers talking in the school playground and it's clear that people tend to project their own desires onto their children. I'm probably just as guilty of that as anyone else. When we can't justify buying something for ourselves, we fulfil that acquisitive temptation by buying for them instead of ourselves.

The Social Minefield of Birthday Parties - It's with a mildly sicky-stomach feeling when I find envelopes in my children's school bags, out of which pop an average of two birthday invitations a week. I have a new modus operandi; encouraging my children to go only to the parties of friends with whom they actually play, and hoping that not everyone on our own invitation list will actually accept. I have tested the waters a few times with a firm but friendly "I'm sorry, she can't make it that day, but thanks for asking." Putting it into practice is another thing entirely, as I discovered one day while watching my 5-year old son's face as his classmates excitedly leave school for the party which we declined. He is really too young to understand my economy-led pragmatism and take it on himself without regret. While discussing the birthday situation at dinner one evening, we practically fell off our chairs laughing when he announced "You know, Mum, I always like a good party." No matter how careful I have to be, it's good to be reminded that it's not all about the money. For a child, it's about feeling included, getting carried away in the euphoria of celebration and eating cake before dinner. Actually, we adults could use a little of that kind of fun too.

Gifts Galore - Let's do some figures. If you have two children in primary school, in classes of 25 - 30 children, plus a handful of close friends from birth, it makes for a huge haul of birthday gifts entering your house and a considerable amount of money leaving your wallet. I don't want to sound either miserly or ungrateful, but I no longer shop for unique gifts for each of my children's friends unless they are "best." In an effort to cope, we have capped the amount we can spend, while still trying to find something current and of quality. Books, footballs, superhero t-shirts and art materials are a parent's dream and don't languish at the back of the cupboard.

For our own children, strict measures have also been put in place. After watching a friend's child casually toss aside each birthday gift received to see what was in the next package, we returned home and took a good look at what our own children have and don't use. The economical and ecological sides of me are particularly offended by plastic and battery operated waste. Since then, we have all survived no-toy two birthdays in favour of French and tennis lessons, a tree house and a trip to Paris. I wonder whether I am so hell-bent that my kids won't be spoiled by excess, that I actually lean too far into Scrooge-dom. Kids are so savvy these days, picking up on every trend. I understand that Hollister is the new must-have clothing brand and rainbow-hued IPods are ubiquitous. But I was completely unprepared to hear that young children are asking for, and receiving, Blackberries and IPhones for their birthdays.

Pass the Parcel - Have you heard the de-cluttering expert's advice that if you have anything in your closet that you haven't worn in one year, you should get rid of it? On TV, they put the unwanted clothing in a black bin bag and that goes straight down to the charity shop. Use the same principle with the kids. If children receive gifts they do not like, consider giving them to someone else who can get joy out of owning them. Last year my son received three identical Ben10 Omnitrixes because he had an alien-themed party. I suppose I could have tried to exchange two of them at ToysRUs or put them on eBay, but in truth, I find that a time-guzzling nightmare. Just pass the parcel. It's what every sane, budget conscious parent should do. Tell me that you have never recycled a gift to someone else; you'll win my raised eyebrow.

Searching around in the dark for solutions, we sometimes hit on a winner of an idea. We introduced ourselves to the pastor of a local church and joined him and some of his congregation on Christmas Eve wrap up boxes of food and presents from Santa for distribution to low income families. We brought the children so that they could understand how and why our own contribution would help others. I'm pleased to say that the older one "got it" and there were a lot of relevant questions; for a few weeks anyway. However, now when I have to talk to her about sharing, she reminds me of the time she played Secret Santa with her extra toys and games. I can't argue with that.

Note to Self: Don't expect adult reasoning from children. This reminds me of a birthday invitation my daughter received from the manager of our hotel while we were in Bermuda for an extended period of time. Her six year old asked that she receive donations to a hospital children's ward in lieu of presents. Wow! She was sensitive to the concept of charity, no doubt, because she is in a wheelchair herself. It didn't make much impression on our then 3 ½ year old, but I wonder if we could persuade her to do the same for her birthday next month. I could probably get away with it if I applied enough pressure, as she is a sensitive and caring child, but the gesture would really be a product of my adult value system, not hers. My nearly "double-digits" daughter is still innocently starry-eyed about the mystery of what she will receive from her best friends this year. I have no business messing with that.

Hurry Up and Wait - It's never too early for children to be introduced to the concept of giving, but my experience has been that they have a completely different idea than adults about what constitutes "enough" possessions. They aren't bothered by shelves and cupboards that bulge with puzzles, action figures, trinkets, stuffed animals, pictures, Lego pieces and thousands of felt-tip markers. It's the parents who have the agenda to 1) de-clutter, 2) guide their children to develop an understanding of value, and 3) make appropriate decisions. Either that or the parents make the decisions themselves, which influence their children's actions by example.

I am also reminded that birthdays and holidays are magical to children; days when they can be the centre of attention and have wishes come true. For me, and perhaps others, it's like a hurry up and wait scenario. I am keen to teach my children about overabundance, selflessness, budgets and sensibility, but perhaps in too much of a hurry. There are only so many years left that I will see the delight on their cake-smeared faces as they open presents and feel spoiled, for one or two days a year. I believe that they will learn when they are ready. I have to resist making everything into a learning experience and just let it be what it is.

Including Children in Financial Decision-Making is one way to teach them "value for money" principles without hitting them over the head with it. Put your heads together to decide on the size and venue of their birthday parties. Little by little, let children decide how much birthday money to put into a purchase and let them go up to the till with cash so they can see it disappear before their very eyes. Every opportunity they get to act independently feeds their confidence and empowers them to do it again. Celebrate their transaction with praise for their choices. Note their pride and happiness. At about eight years old, they can be given a reasonable budget for treats like magazines, trading cards and snacks. Within the year, they should be able to make decisions about buying birthday gifts for family and friends. They will quickly learn how to make their budget go further, by going for unbranded items or waiting to buy items on sale, just like we do.

[mlek13]

Fall, Year 2: The Durdens

On Sunday morning, twins Nicolette and Nolan play in the kitchen while their parents sleep in.

I was going to send them with both of their parents to the church lot, but Lady Eloise insisted she was in too delicate a condition to go, so Lucien took the twins himself.

Maybe that wasn’t a good idea.  I caught Lucien trying to flirt with Audrey while his very pregnant wife was at home putting her feet up (or maybe chasing after a toddler).  Luckily for them, Audrey was too busy checking out the lot for him to actually go through with it. 

I kind of wanted to see what would have happened though, but Lucien didn’t try anything again.  He spent the rest of his visit doting on his children.

Later that evening Eloise went into labor and a new baby boy joined the family.  Lyndon looks like the twins so far, medium skin and red hair like the rest of the family and green eyes like their mother.

Time for Headmaster Clarence to see if the Durdens are worthy of their fine institution.  Trevor, who was playing with Nolan, is really interested in seeing what’s going on.

Nicolette is interested in what sports teams private school has to offer.

He doesn’t think that’s an appropriate topic for a proper young lady.  He nixes the discussion of tennis and changes the topic to dresses and shoes.  (I’m starting to wonder if your school is the right fit for us . . .)

Lady Eloise and Sir Lucien leave the job of entertaining the headmaster to the children as they have other things they’d rather being doing during his visit.  (Very responsible parents they are.)

Lucien does manage to take the time to chat up the headmaster.   The only thing Clarence is interested in talking about is money.  He wants to make sure Lucien is going to be paying the school fees.

Money might be a problem for them.  Their funds were too low to expand and build new bedrooms and now they’re too low to even pay Amin.  The butler takes the kitchen sink in payment for his services.

I was kind of surprised to see Amin back the next morning, I thought for sure that not paying him would cause him to quit.  Lady Eloise had the difficult task of letting him go since they can’t afford to pay him.  This household seems to do really well of taking care of themselves on their own, so they probably don’t need him as much as some of my other households do.

The headmaster calls before school starts to make sure they really are going to be able to pay the school fees.  Sir Lucien promises he’ll get him the money.

I was not so thrilled about the topic of conversation when he called the next day to speak with Nicolette.  I thought he was going to talk about homework or something.  This is highly inappropriate.

The household does run really smoothly for the rest of the rotation.

They have a lot of nice family moments together.

The twins meet new, influential friends.

Their parents help them with their studies.

Before the round is over, Lyndon grows up.

And so does Montague and it’s time to trade in a crib for another bed.

Since they don’t have the funds to expand the house, I rearrange things, so that the older kids are sleeping in the nursery and the crib is in the hall.

I need to find another source of income for them, but for now, Lucien has taken an interest in painting and has made a bit of money from his artwork.

The kids wanted a birdcage, so the family managed to get enough funds together to buy one.  (The cage and the bird were both really expensive and I’m sure that money could have been better spent elsewhere, but I give in to pet related wants.)

I think Lucien was the only one who interacted with the bird before the kids completely lost interest.  (I didn’t have them buy him until the end of the round, so maybe they just haven’t had the chance yet.)

Just one more picture of this cute family.  While mom is in the bathroom, everyone congregates around the bathroom door.

[you-andthebottlemen]

4 -

Request: ‘Single dad Van falls for his kids teacher’

Hope this lives up to your expectations anon (and sorry it’s like crazy long), as this was my first request I’m sending you massive love and thanks!! xx

*************

You loved everything about being a teacher; the kids, the joy, the learning every day about people and about all the small lives you touched...you found it incredible. You’d never been so passionate about anything. Today was the first day of the new year and you were taking kindergarten for the first time. Yes, you’d taught for a few years but you’d never been so nervous. You wanted to make sure the kids loved their first day yet alone year of school, what if you couldn’t do it?

Smoothing out your skirt, you took in a big breath of air and exhaled trying to calm yourself. The kids and their parents would be arriving for orientation soon, you wanted it all to be perfect. After you went around and fixed the final touches on your room, making sure the pencil tins were full and that the name tags on the bag hooks were properly stuck, you opened the door and let them in. 

The small children and their overly clingy parents entered and you smiled wide, doing your best to hide your nerves. You shook hands with the adults and smiled at the children, bending down to introduce yourself to the ones too afraid to let go of their parents' legs. 

Standing at the front of the class you welcomed everyone to help their children find their name tags and take a seat at their allocated desks. It was ridiculously cute to watch the tiny people bumbling about with each other. Most of them seemed happy and excited. However, you noticed one little girl standing in the corner looking incredibly afraid. Her father was crouched down in front of her talking gently and holding her hand. 

"Hello, I'm Miss y/n. What's your name?" You gently asked the girl, her father moving her closer to him.

"This is Lyla," her father answered for her as it was clear she was too shy to speak. You noticed his accent was a little rougher than most of the parents around this place. He sounded like he'd definitely not grown up in a fancy neighbourhood like this one. You weren't judging though because neither had you.

"That's a lovely name, in fact, it's the name of one of my favourite songs! How cool is that?" You said excitedly and her eyes widened.

"My Daddy loves it too!" She squealed. 

You laughed and looked over at him, he was already looking at you, clearly impressed you knew the song by Oasis. You couldn’t help but blush at his good looks. 

“Well Lyla, school can’t be all bad if your teacher likes the same music as me! Why don’t you go with her and find your seat? I’ll see you later yeah? Uncle Larry is gonna come with me to pick you up!” He told her happily. 

Her little face grew an even bigger smile if that was possible and you wondered who this ‘Uncle Larry’ was and why she loved him so much. As if she was a different child, Lyla kissed her father’s cheek and took your hand, comforted by his words and your music taste. Just from the way he looked at her, you could tell he was absolutely besotted with his little girl; that she was his entire world. You led Lyla to her desk and that was that; she didn’t seem afraid anymore. 

Her Dad stood at the back of the room for a moment with his arms crossed, his eyes constantly on you as you addressed the class. You pretended not to notice and avoided eye contact with him. Despite the fact he was surrounded by a congregation of other parents, for some reason he just stood out from the crowd. As the parents left, he sent Lyla a wink and smiled kindly at you to which you probably blushed at again. 

.........

The day had gone well with only a few minor hiccups. The kids seemed to love you and that made your heart feel so full. As the parents showed up for collection, they all embraced their children with smiles and open arms. To be honest, it made you yearn for a child of your own. But you knew that was long off. 

You saw Lyla and her Dad outside the classroom and decided to walk over and see how she was going. She'd been an angel all day but you could tell she was just good at hiding her nerves like you were. She gripped the hem of her Dad's jacket tightly but still smiled up at you. 

"Hey Lyla, how did you find your first day?"

"Good..." she giggled shyly, playing with a gold chain that hung around her neck. 

"Lyla baby!" You heard another man call. 

Suddenly she bolted and jumped into his arms.

"Uncle Larry!" She shouted with absolute joy, seeming more excited to see him than her own parent. 

He picked her up and put her on his shoulders, she played with his hair and he just laughed. 

"Miss y/n, this is my best mate Larry," and you exchanged greetings with him. 

"Why don't you take her to the car? I'll be right behind you."

You waved goodbye to little Lyla and Larry carried her away. 

"I'm Van by the way," he held out his hand and you shook it, telling him that he could call you by your first name instead.

"Lyla was great today, a little shy but that's to be expected. If you're worried, you shouldn't be. She's an absolute star," you reassured him. 

"I'm not worried, especially if she's got you as a teacher. You're obviously dead smart and love what you do. Don't think she could be in better hands," Van admitted.

You started to beam with pride and he smiled as well, his eyes sparkling. 

"Well I better head off, see you soon though yeah? Have a good one."

With that, he was confidently walking away and you watched as his black jeans and velvet jacket disappeared out of your sight. 

........

As the weeks passed you saw more and more of Van. He seemed to make a particular effort to say hello or ‘bump’ into you at pick up and drop off. You didn’t mind. Secretly, you’d started to look forward to it. You’d found out from Lyla that he was in a band, which explained her name a bit. He always made sure he didn’t call you by your first name in front of the kids and he was ever so slightly flirty that it made your heart race when he was near. You knew it was bad to feel this way about a student’s parent but you just couldn’t help it. 

The more he spoke to you, the more you wondered about Lyla’s mother. This became a small concern for you as mother’s day was coming up and Lyla seemed a little off. 

“Hello Miss!” Van greeted cheerfully. 

“Um hello Van, I was wondering if I could chat with you in private?”

He nodded and told Lyla to go and play in the classroom. She did as he said without hesitation and you shut the door behind her. Van’s face was clouded with worry and confusion. You explained to him that Lyla was becoming standoffish with the other children and that she refused to part take in any mothers day craft activities but you never pushed her or got her in trouble. You told him that you just needed to know how you could help her better. His face fell and he opened up to you, telling you how her mother had passed away due to complications in childbirth. You started to tear up and apologised frantically.

“Oh Van, I’m so sorry to have brought it up like this at such a sensitive time. I’d never have said anything if I knew but I didn’t and-”

“It’s okay y/n. Lyla and me, we are okay. It’s been almost 5 years. Yeah, it’s still shitty and sad but you gotta live you know? We have each other and we don’t let the thought of her make us sad. She makes us happy.”

You put your hand on his arm and squeezed it gently, giving him a teary smile. 

From that point on, something had changed between you and Van. He was less flirty and less discrete about talking to you. He would go out of his way to be around you and was genuinely sincere when he spoke. You had a real connection.

........

For a month or two, he wasn’t around and Lyla told you he was off on tour. That must be so hard for them. But you found out either Larry looked after her in that time, hence why she loved him so much, or his parents who were just as sweet as he was.  

When you saw him again, your chest filled with butterflies. They still hadn’t faded after more than half a year. You’d never put yourself in a position to act on those feelings though; you knew it wasn’t appropriate. Though it looked like Van didn’t feel the same way about that.

“Y/n!” Van called, he was running towards you as you packed your things into the car.

When you saw him, he started walking to catch his breath. He leant against the side of the car and ran a hand through his hair. He still looked so young to be a father. But he clearly wasn’t younger than you. 

“What can I do for you, Mr McCann?” You asked happily, twirling your hair around your finger. 

Van licked his lips as a force of habit, something he did all the damn time and it drove you crazy. 

“Fuck...Um, would you go to dinner with me?” He asked, all formalities lost. Your jaw dropped.

Van was looking incredibly nervous just as Lyla did on her first day. You could really see how alike they were. She had his sandy brown hair and bright blue eyes and was basically a mini version of him at times. 

You mumbled out something incoherent about how you’d love to but it wouldn’t be appropriate.

“Well if I can’t take you out now, when can I? When Lyla isn’t in your class no more?” He questioned.

“Will you even want to go and get dinner with me that far down the track?” You asked in disbelief. 

“You bet. You’re crazy beautiful, you got a tonne of passion in you for teaching just like I do for music, Lyla loves you...fuck I’d say I love you too but that might be a little soon,” Van gushed out with a laugh. 

You just smiled at him in absolute wonder.

......

Soon enough you found yourself sitting in a restaurant with none other than Van McCann as if it was only yesterday that he'd first asked you out, not close to four months. You were wearing a red dress and he couldn't stop telling you how beautiful you looked. 

Van held your hand over the table and told you all the stories about his life, band, family and friends that he'd never gotten the opportunity to tell you before. You were amazed at the life he led and at how in love he was with the world despite all he’d experienced. He didn't forget to ask you about yourself either and he listened to you intently whenever you spoke. 

After your delicious meal, you were certain it was the best date you'd ever been on and you mentally thanked the universe for placing that little girl in your class. 

And as if the night couldn't get any better, Van turned to you and said,

"I've really fucking fallen for you Miss y/n," and leant in for a kiss. 

[lotsasmilesphoto]

This week’s challenge calls for me to “speak out” about a topic that is sometimes avoided, to make my voice heard.  Don’t worry; while that prompt easily lends itself to politics, I figure everyone’s had more than enough of that these days (and I don’t tend to be very political anyway).  Instead, I want to discuss a difficult subject, one that I ponder frequently, and one for which I hold a less popular view.

As I’ve mentioned before, I love my life.  I go on all sorts of exciting excursions with my husband, and we’re always doing something crazy.  Our Christmas cards are always packed with annual explorations; in short, we stay very busy.  And the best part: I get to photograph everything along the way.

One of the primary reasons we are capable of so many adventures is the fact that we don’t have children.  And to be completely honest, I don’t want any.

Without extra humans in our household, we have the freedom to travel, some trips being more spontaneous than others.  I can go on a Saturday hike at the drop of a hat without worrying about who will watch the kids, and we’re free to attend concerts, local events, and half a dozen anime conventions each year.

We are also two DINKs with adequate funds to fuel our crazy lifestyles (within reason), giving us the opportunity to experiment with new hobbies and consider alternate careers.

Yeah, some would say that makes me selfish, but I’m happy.  I strongly believe the world needs more happy people.

Photo courtesy of Aaron Shade

I have other reasons for not wanting children, including the fact that I have little patience for hand-holding (in the task sense); I believe others should have the capacity to hold themselves up and figure some things out with minimal guidance.  I also see people like my sisters or my own mother and realize that I could never hold a candle to all they’ve done and continue to do every day.  I have a penchant for being tactless (I’m authentic to a fault), and I’d be a simply miserable mother.  On top of everything else, I just don’t like kids.  I don’t like the noise, the mess, the energy-sucking, the utter reliance.  This is precisely why I’m a cat person; dogs aren’t much better than kids on those fronts.

Furthermore, society expects motherhood out of me.  And because I’m a rebel, I feel the need to defy those demands if only out of sheer spite.

On a less-selfish note, I also can’t see myself subjecting an innocent child to the world we live in today.  While I was growing up, my mother would kick us outside first thing in the morning, where we’d go explore the woods behind our house all day long.  We’d return when we were hungry, and Mum would check our heads for ticks before kicking us back out again until it got dark.  I was no more than 8-10 years old.  We weren’t under constant surveillance, we didn’t have cell phones, and no one feared we’d be abducted.  Mum’s greatest concern was that we’d break a limb scrambling up and down trees.

I can’t fathom a parent permitting that today.

I recognize there are good things to having kids, too.  It’s a constant companionship unlike any other, and some have the inherent need to nurture a young human and mold them into something better than themselves.  If I ever had kids, I think I’d most look forward to the photography.  Kids can be very photogenic, and like kittens, they’re cute and clumsy, discovering the world for the first time.

I would also have a field day with the chibi cosplay!  Tiny Pikachu, Totoro, Mokona.. the possibilities are endless.

But the one benefit that makes me debate this constantly is having someone care for me as I age.

I am terrified of being alone.  I don’t ski by myself; I don’t go on solitary hikes; I don’t even like to run an errand without company.  When I’m an old fart and we no longer all congregate at my parents’ house for Christmas, with whom will Aaron and I spend the holiday?  Who will I have if Aaron leaves this world before me?

Ideally, I think the best case scenario is that like the sakura and the samurai it represents, I just die in my prime while capturing award-winning photos on some epic adventure.  Go out with an incredible story and phenomenal shots.  I could live with that… or not, as the case would be.

I might change my mind some day and decide I’m ready to “settle down,” but for now, I get everything I need from our kitties – companionship, photo subjects, and plenty of warm snuggles – all with the freedom of a large bowl of kibble and an auto-waterer to get them through a long weekend.  Now, if only I could teach them how to wash the dishes and take out the trash…

I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject.  Do you also find yourself debating having children?  What are your reservations?

WC: The Freedom and The Fear This week's challenge calls for me to "speak out" about a topic that is sometimes avoided, to make my voice heard.  

[kamiboothblog]

“The Best Way Out is Through” - Robert Frost

I used to think Dora the Explorer was stupid. That, or she desperately needed glasses. Now I believe she is wiser and sees things more clearly than many adults.

The little Nickelodean cartoon character with big brown eyes and dark, bobbed hair was a staple in our house when my kids were young. Sometime after morning Kindergarten and lunch and before afternoon naps my son or daughter and I would turn on Dora’s TV show and snuggle on the couch, eager for our fictional heroine to teach us more Spanish words and watch her go on her latest adventure with her sidekick, Boots, the monkey. 



Besides the fact that young Dora was trekking across the computer-animated countryside without her parents or any other responsible adult, carrying only a magical, seemingly bottomless backpack that boasted more tricks for getting out of tough spots than a James Bond movie, one thing bothered me about her: She insisted on going THROUGH every obstacle in her path - a huge bush, a locked gate, a dark, eerie-looking tunnel, etc. You see, it was obvious to any viewer over the age of three that Dora could simply step off the dirt path and go AROUND the roadblock, then continue on her merry way. But for some reason, Dora wouldn’t do it.

“Go around it!” I would shout impatiently at the TV as Dora would come across a roadblock, stop, turn her puzzled eyes toward us and ask us what to do. During the brief pause that followed I would continue my one-way dialogue with her: “There’s plenty of room on either side. Don’t you see? Are you blind?!!!”

“Tell her, mama,” my kids would chime in agreement as they continued to shovel handfuls of Goldfish crackers in their mouths, unaffected by my outburst and never ungluing their eyes from the TV screen.

Dora never listened to my advice (a trait that is perhaps the byproduct of being a self-sufficient child roaming the earth alone), but she always found a way to go through anything that crossed her path.

The one day it hit me: Dora is a genius.

Dora is a genius because she knows that going through the hard stuff - rather than avoiding it - is better in the long run. “Going through” builds character. It helps us learn about ourselves and others. It makes us stronger and wiser. It makes us more compassionate. It helps us live authentically. Dora knows we must face our greatest fears head on in order for them to release their control over us. Taking the easy route, sidestepping the challenge, the pain or the fear - well, that just makes our journey more difficult in the end. When we avoid, we can sometimes get caught up in things that aren’t good for us. We don’t always learn what we need to learn to grow into the person we are supposed to be. Ultimately, by not “going through,” we may even delay ourselves from finding true happiness and peace of mind.

But let’s be real. Some of us don’t want to do the work. We feel more comfortable staying where we are, even if that familiar place is dark and we feel stuck. In our anxious minds, dark and stuck feels safer, less scary, than what change might bring. Change makes us feel vulnerable, and we certainly don’t want to feel vulnerable, do we? Vulnerable is an icky feeling. So we hide. We deny. We distract. We self-medicate. We do anything to avoid dealing with the discomfort.

Until the pain of changing outweighs the pain of staying the same.

Harry Potter fans will relate to this idea in one of the final scenes in the movie series where Harry willingly comes to his nemesis Voldemort to be killed. (“The boy who lived has come to die!”) Harry is terrified, but he knows that he must go through with his execution to keep his friends, Hogwart’s classmates and the rest of the world safe. Years of running and hiding and battling have worn the boy with the scar on his forehead down, and he feels that he has no other alternative but to give up his life for the greater good. 



Any comforting words from Harry’s parents, now ghosts, as he strolls with them toward his fate does little to assuage his fears during the final moments of his life. He has no idea what he will feel as he dies. He does not know if a new life like his ghostly parents have will await him after his demise or if he will simply fade away to nothingness. But after all the running and hiding and death and destruction that occurred through the years between Harry and Voldemort, Harry knew the madness had to end. He had to get unstuck. And so he stood there, weaponless and vulnerable in front of bald, noseless Voldemort. And with a passion-filled cry of the killing curse “Avada Kedavra” from The Dark Lord, Harry braces himself for the deadly blow.

Harry didn’t avoid. He chose to go THROUGH. And thankfully, at the risk of spoiling the ending for those who haven’t seen the movie, it all turns out well for him. But…what about us? Granted, we aren’t dealing with the burden of being stalked by a narcissistic, evil wizard. But we’ve got our own “stuff” that is weighing us down or holding us back or making us stay in a dark place, be it a confrontation with the boss at work, the breakup of a relationship, a move to a new city, an unhealthy addiction, and so on. Do we remain stuck, unmoving, wallowing in self-pity, anger, resentment and indecision? Or…do we summon the courage to go through the process of movement and healing? Do we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to stand in the fire and trust we won’t burn? To feel the ache of grief, heartbreak, loneliness or shame and believe that it won’t swallow us whole? To push through the door of the unknown or take that leap of faith that gets us out of limbo and accept that whatever we find, wherever we land, we’ll be okay…perhaps even happier than we are now?

Each of us is unique, with different strengths and different weaknesses. But I believe we all have it in us to do the things we think we cannot do, even if it’s one small, brave step at a time. And I’m here to tell you that “going through” pays off. I know because I’ve seen it with my own eyes. I hold tight to these stories, blessed to bear witness to them and proud and in awe of those who did what at one time seemed impossible for them to do:

The alcoholic who, tired of numbing her thoughts daily with booze and burdened by bad choices, admitted she needed help. She left her husband and children one bleak January day several years ago to check into rehab. To this day she remains sober, healthy and happy. She has traded in her chaos for a rich and rewarding family life and a cute dog. Dare I say she’s grown even more beautiful, inside and out. This woman could have stayed stuck, medicating herself with alcohol, instead of spending weeks away from home detoxing and telling her heartbreaking truths to rehab counselors and fellow addicts. But instead, she went through.

The doctor who battled crippling anxiety but through meditation and perseverance found his way back to peace. He openly shared his story with my daughter, who is dealing with anxiety, to give her hope that she, too, can persevere. He could have remained silent, treating only her body but not her mind and avoiding any mention of his struggle from the past. But instead, he spoke up. He went through.

The stay-at-home mom who gave her family her all but neglected one thing: herself. She sought out a personal trainer, slowly and healthily lost the weight and is now living her dream by teaching fitness at her own gym. She didn’t have to do the hard work of changing her health exercise habits. But she did, and she has inspired others. She went through.

And me. This year my family dynamics have changed, and I spent Christmas alone. Mind you, I had several invitations from lovely, big-hearted people to join them to celebrate the holiday, but I graciously turned them down. You see, deep down, I knew what I had to do. I had to go THROUGH. I had to sit with it, this painfulness of change, and really FEEL it in order to start the healing process. And feel it I did. I went to the 5:30 p.m. family service at my church Christmas Eve and (go figure!) I was the only one there without family. It was rather unsettling at first. But my congregation, as always, was just as warm and welcoming as ever. And I felt God’s presence, and I knew then that with God’s help, I was going to be okay and that I would have strength for the journey ahead. And that was good enough for me. So I enjoyed the unusual gift of sleeping in on Christmas morning, and when I finally was awakened by a friendly feline lovingly nuzzling my nose, I was reminded that “going through” isn’t all white-knuckling and sweat; it can still come with many short, sweet moments. That’s the healing trying to find it’s way in.

Indeed, the poet and theologian Rumi said it best: “The cure for the pain is in the pain.” But when it comes to statements of well-wishing, no one ever says “I wish you pain.” Still, as backwards as it sounds, it could very well be that by going through the pain, the discomfort, the hardship, the fear….you eventually find your greatest joy. You find the cure. You find comfort. You find peace. You overcome that which haunts or paralyzes you. You become the truest version of yourself.

So as this new year unfolds, I won’t wish you pain. Instead I will wish you STRENGTH - strength to face your challenges and fears head on. And strength to GO THROUGH them with bravery, dignity, grace - and above all, with that glorious thing we call hope.

[epistolizer]

Headline Potpourri #96

According to thespian Emma Thompson, way back in 1998, Donald Trump called her offering accommodations and suggested they could have dinner sometime.  If we are to abide by the axiom that what happens between consenting adults is their own business and that he did not unduly threaten her after she declined, does this even rise to the level of a story?  After all, Trump was apparently extending his potential conquests courtesies Bill Clinton wasn't at nearly the same time.  Just ask Juanita Broderick.  

A Virginia man dressed as the Joker and carrying a sword was arrested in part for wearing a mask in public.  You think the sword wielding would have been the more obvious charge.  Technically, this acolyte of the Crown Prince of Crime was wearing makeup and not a mask.  Shouldn't this same law also apply to infidel sows adorned in burqas?  

In a lecture titled “Can The Religious Right Be Saved?”, Russell Moore condemned the pastors of his youth that articulated a variety of outlandish statements found nowhere in the Bible.  What, sort of like the ones Moore spews forth now? 

Outrage has erupted that Trump announced his regime's intentions to enforce immigration law as originally promulgated.  But aren't we obligated to obey the law because it is the law?  After all, that is what businesses are told faced with choice between providing services for gay weddings or financial ruination.  

An HBO producer has plead guilty as an accessory after the fact in the drug death of a 38 year old doctor and mother of three.  For the dumping of the body in a hallway, the U.S. attorney said in an issued statement, “Marc Henry Johnson's immediate response to seeing a dying overdose victim should have been to summon help.”  That is probably the right response.  However, isn't it a bit much to extend the sympathies of victim status?  For not only did this woman prefer dope and booze over her children, but as a doctor shouldn't she have known of the impact that results in the overindulgence of these vices?  Seems she is responsible in part for her own unfortunate demise.  

So if we are supposed to collectively get jacked out of shape over comments made by Bill O'Reilly about a Congresswoman's suspected wig, will society call as vigorously for the condemnation of those mocking balding and graying men?  Wonder if those vociferous in their condemnation of Bill O'Reilly's comments ill be as outspoken in their condemnation of the knockout game or when deadbeats pillage after unpopular jury verdicts in order to loot wigs and assorted haircare products.  

Jeb Bush has admonished President Trump to stop saying things that are not true.  Wonder if the failed candidate was as bold in the criticism of his father's and his brother's respective regimes.  

In a Ted Talk, Canadian broadcaster Coleen Christie warned that citizens must be cautious about getting their information from social media because that would mean your neighbor with a thing for cats becomes your news director.  By that, she no doubt meant the important task of informing the public cannot be left to amateurs.  William F. Buckley once remarked that he'd rather a chance being governed by the names in the opening pages of the phone book rather than the faculty of Harvard University.  Along those lines, often these professionals are only groomed for their roles largely because they look good in a short skirt and a blouse with a plunging neckline or because of what secret society they have likely pledged unwavering allegiance to under threat of disembowelment.  

In criticism of the so-called “Benedict Option” where it is suggested Christians withdrawal into a quasi-monastic seclusion in order to avoid cultural decay and doctrinal contamination,  in SermonAudio remarks Pastor Sean Harris also articulated harsh words about those that retired to the beach or even Christian retirement communities.  The pastor counseled that time in these sorts of places needs to be limited because they supposedly keep one away from the body of Christ.  What he really must mean is that such alteration to one's life circumstances would end up directing funds away from his particular congregation.  For are there not churches in beach communities if one is there that often and not congregations affiliated with or minister to Christians in active adult communities?  

Yahoo News is celebrating a child with Down Syndrome as the changing face of beauty.  Mind you, these are probably the same pro-abortion ghouls that in any other instance would have pressured parents to eliminate a defective child.  Let's see if the public still flocks to support the child when the child is not so cute anymore and he's about a 200 pound middle aged individual still needing to be looked after in a manner similar to a toddler.  

There is no winning with some shrill banshee feminists. President Trump is condemned for wallowing in the sins of the flesh over the course of his public life.  However, a Washington Post harpy now condemns Vice President Mike Pence for living by a standard where he never dines alone with a woman other than his wife and does not attend functions where alcohol is present without his wife there with him.  

Franklin Graham film insists that doctors surviving ebola was a miracle. On Fox News, Graham said this was a story of God saving the lives of these missionaries. If one is going to say that, isn't it conversely the story of God not saving the lives of the thousands He allowed to succumb to this epidemic? Don't like that observation? Why not just say those not weakened by living in squalor and filth might have a bit more of a chance of battling the disease? Perhaps Christian filmmakers ought to give a bit more consideration the implications of what they are saying.  

Activist busybodies are now calling for the end of public applause because the gesture is offensive to the deaf. Instead,the emotion once conveyed with this gesture is to be expressed through jazz hands. But doesn't that exclude the blind unable to notice waving hands? But then again, most blind people --- unlike a significant number of deaf --- haven't organized themselves into borderline terrorist groups threatening violence against those pursuing cures to this affliction.  

The State of Mississippi considered a proposal where parents would be graded regarding the extent of their involvement in the education of their children.  Like it or not, report cards are part of a permanent academic record used to either reward or punish students in terms of future opportunities or the lack thereof.  As such, what is to prevent such an assessment from being used against parents in terms of the child protection racket?  

Wonder if those so jacked out of shape at a Canadian license plate roughly reading “Assimilate” in reference to the Borg battle cry from Star Trek but not because of any opposition to cybernetic varieties of Transhumanism but out of a desire of minorities to retain the lifestyles of their native lands still demand handouts from the Western societies that they despise so vociferously but can't seemed to renounce the creature comforts of.  

The latest buzz surrounding Cinco de Mayo is lamentation regarding cultural misappropriation.  In other words, even when they abandon the celebratory commemorations of their own culture in favor of those of a preferred demographic, White people are apparently still obligated to sit around glum-faced in reflective self-loathing.  

New York Magazine insists that the Second Amendment makes America vulnerable to ISIS attack.  Does the magazine plan to publish a similar article regarding potential terrorism resulting from lax immigration enforcement and swarms of refugees pouring over the border?

On Facebook, I stumbled across a church with a recycling ministry where used items such as furniture and other related things are being collected for international students matriculating at a nearby university.   Theoretically, why would the offspring of Alibaba founder Jack Ma or even Prince Harry himself be more worthy of such eleemosynary than the progeny of a Appalachian coal miner or a laid off factory worker?  In the vast majority of cases, foreigners coming to study at American universities aren't Kalahari bushmen.  Rather they are going to have a significant degree of wealth to begin with if they are coming here just to study.   As such, isn't it just as wrong to limit one's charity to those of this particular origin as it would be to limit one's charity to White's only?  Furthermore, if these items are no longer good enough for you, isn't it racist to assume that these cast offs are good enough for foreigners?  Isn't it about time Christians end this underlying contempt of their own countrymen?  

Fox News talking heads applauding Trump's Libery University commencement oration insisting critics are never successful. But doesn't the network's ratings success contradict that message?

In his Liberty University commencement oration, President Trump insisted critics never really accomplish anything.  But didn't Trump ride a continual drumbeat of incessant criticism to electoral victory?  There is nothing wrong with that.  He just shouldn't now attempt to market himself as perennial positivity.  

These pharmaceutical commercials make it sound if you aren't in the doctor's office constantly that you aren't blessed but rather missing out on life.  Most of the folks on these medicines aren't out riding horseback or climbing mountains.  Their trips to the doctor's office are about the only place they go at all, that a struggle, and takes it out of them to the point that they never recover.  

Interviewee on Fox News insists that a good parent ought to find and nurture a child's talent.  As Donald Trump's unofficial propaganda office, would they endorse that message if the child's greatest skill was criticism?  

German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced that Germany is destined to become an Islamic state and that is something that the native population is just going to have to come to terms with as a demographic and political reality.  At least there is the consolation that they can hope she will be forced to put a bag over her head as well in compliance with Sharia law.  

Bill O'Reilly will appear weekly on Glenn Beck's radio program.  But according to Glenn Beck, Trump's carnal proclivities will lead to the acceleration of America's cultural decline but it is apparently. Yet it is apparently acceptable for Beck to finance O'Reilly because it's doubtful someone as full of themselves as O'Reilly is going to pontificate for free.  

Maybe if Microsoft just sent out security updates and not attempt to download entire new copies of Window's onto customer's computers, people would be more diligent in updating their devices.  

Outrage has erupted over a group of “White nationalists” that organized a protest in response to the removal of a number of Confederate memorials.  Do these same mainstream media outlets emphasize the radical proclivities and ideological backgrounds of the activists behind Black Lives Matter demonstrations or the shrill banshee rallies where the psychotics on weekend release from the looney bin parade around the nation's capital in vulgar costumes?  Likewise, in reference to President Trump's commencement oration, WTOP referred to Liberty University with the modifer “ultra conservative”.  Are the network's listeners similarly systematically informed of the political correctness endemic to the Ivy League each time one of those expensive indoctrination centers is referenced?  

It was remarked from a pulpit that someone cannot be prayed for unless the need is communicated.  Isn't this essentially saying that, if God has to be told the juicy details of a specific need by the hired help, He is not quite as omniscient as assorted sermons make Him out to be.  

So does the sermon claiming that it is acceptable to outwardly display our depression and to tell these feelings to God now repudiate past sermons that if you are depressed it was probably because you were in a state of sin to begin with?  

In a podcast, Russell Moore claimed that the current church does not mobilize WOMMMENNN to the same extent as in the past.  This actually translates as ecclesiastical functionaries jacked out of shape that the pool of free labor has about dried up.  

In a message on family, a pastor suggested if young people his puberty at between 10 to 14 years of age, they should be allowed to get married.  And who is supposed to provide for this couple?  The pastor lamented that, in some countries, 15 year olds fight wars and, in America, 30 year olds play video games.  But so long as the 30 year old has some sort of gainful employment, doesn't that comparison actually summarize the superiority of American system and way of life?  Because in most instances these child soldiers are actually taken from their families against their will.  

A congressional aide was condemned in the media for criticizing the deportment and behavior of the Obama children.  It is claimed the condemnation was justified on the grounds that to mention the families of politicians violates an “unwritten rule”.  There is nothing really wrong in violating an unwritten rule.  Such a standard has not been implemented through the established procedural channels nor necessarily agreed to be binding upon those not willing to abide by it.  If a subjugated population is forbidden from criticizing the progeny of their rulers and thus by proxy the the rulers themselves, shouldn't the spouses of those holding elected office also refrain from criticizing how Americans raise their own children as well as refrain from imposing their own dietary peculiarities upon public institutions over which they exercise no legitimate authority?  

An episode of Generation's Radio was titled “Filmmaker Chastises Christians For Watching Films: Film Has Usurped Church”.   In the discussion, a Christian filmmaker provided a summary of his upcoming projects.  In the synopsis, he namedropped that one film featured actor Harry Anderson.  The producer reminded that, before his decline to has-been status, Anderson starred as the judge on the sitcom “Night Court”.  So if the sanctified believer is to refrain from these sorts of worldly entertainments, how is anyone in the listening audience even supposed to know what “Night Court” is?   Admittedly, I saw a few episodes of “Night Court” in my youth.  It must be pointed out that a significant percentage of the comedy on the series derived its humor from double entendres.  I will admit that at times I enjoy that sort of borderline risque humor more than I really ought.  But neither do I host a podcast where it was once insinuated that your daughter might turn out to be a lesbian if she is fascinated with The Little House On The Prairie books.  

Trump's Ramadan remarks have been condemned for largely being aimed at terrorism.  If terrorism is what comes to the mind of the average person when they hear terms associated with Islam, isn't that largely the fault of the violent Muslims?  Buddhism seldom suffers from similar bad press.  How is Trump's hijacking Ramadan as a pretext to discuss terrorism any worse than the litany of leftwing politicians co-opting Christmas in order to guilt-trip voters into supporting calls for increased social welfare budgets?  

By Frederick Meekins