#it's coming off differently this time but still. ugh.
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ihatefrvits · 2 days ago
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tutor!jisung x reader
genre: smut (minors dni 18+), college au, fingering, reader is bad at math but not that dumb, jisung is a bit manipulative.
wc: 2.1k
synopsis: since your finals were coming up, you desperately needed a tutor. so doing what every normal person would do, you asked the top student for help, but his idea of studying under pressure was far from what you had imagined.
authors note: tysm for over 1k notes on practice makes perfect!!! i never expected to get this amount on my first post, i couldn’t be more grateful…🥹 i’ll try my best to post more!! i hope you like this too hehe
➶ 。˚  ° ──────────────────
you tried your best to keep up in lectures, finish assignments on time, bullshit your way through the discussion boards, but when it came to exams, you were a lost cause.
"ugh, i don't get it at all!" you groan and drop your pen onto the notebook while pressing a hand to your forehead out of frustration. all the formulas you went over are slipping from your mind, no matter how hard you try to focus.
jisung exhales and shakes his head as he's closing his laptop that’s decorated in space and alien stickers. "no, this isn't working out." he says and leans back against the wall. "we need to try a different method."
as he opens the textbook which replaces the laptop and starts flipping through the pages, you flop backward onto his bed and sigh so loudly that the vibrations shake the empty glass of water on the table.
the noise makes his head turn towards you. at first, it’s like as if he’s studying you; his eyes on you, scanning, thinking, calculating.
you can feel the piercing gaze burning holes in your skin. you suddenly think of searching study methods online, but before you grab your phone, you feel the mattress dip under his weight.
he moves closer to you, so close that his thigh is pressed against yours and you can feel his warmth seep through your shorts. you almost freeze for a second. “jisung—“
he cuts you off with a “shh.” he’s acting like this between you is completely normal, like you two were always used to sharing such intimate contact.
while you’re confused, embarrassed and don’t know what’s going on, he’s focused, unbothered and calm. it’s like as if he has something figured out.
as you were staring into his eyes, you felt his hand move to your thigh, slowly, as if he was testing how far he could go. just below the hem of your shorts, his warm fingers press against your skin.
“…what are you doing?” you manage to blubber out, because you didn’t trust yourself to speak.
“trying something else,” he says and his thumb brushes, which makes you shiver.
this is new, dangerous and completely out of your comfort zone, but you make no effort to move away.
jisung is still studying your face, searching for any sign of resistance, and then he tilts his head. “i thought you said you needed motivation.” your heart skips a beat as you feel his thumb stroke your thigh again, “maybe this will help.”
your mind urges you to say something, ask what the fuck is he doing, tell him to stop, maybe laugh it off… but that would make you dishonest with yourself.
his fingers are still tracing circles slowly against you, still drifting almost beneath the hem of your shorts, never going too far, but never stopping either.
your pulse is pounding in your ears. you swear you can feel your heartbeat everywhere.
“you’re messing with me.” you say with your voice light, almost like you’re expecting him to deny.
he hums and slightly tightens his fingers. “am i?”
you turn your gaze from his hand to his face, but he’s already looking at you. he’s not grinning, not laughing, just watching, like he’s silently asking you, how far can i take this?
your thighs twitch at the sight of him. as your heart won over the small battle with your brain, you exhale and part your legs just enough to give his fingers more access.
jisung notices immediately and his lips curl into something that’s barely a smile. he doesn’t say a word, but his fingers trail further up your inner thigh, in such a measured way that’s enough to make you tremble. “still think i’m messing with you?” he murmurs.
“…no,” you swallow.
“good,” he leans in closer to you and turns your head to the laptop screen, “now focus.” he must’ve turned it on while i wasn’t paying attention, you think to yourself.
a new equation is in front of you, something basic, it’s something you’d usually solve in seconds. but your brain is empty.
“if you get it right,” he whispers, his fingers still massaging your thigh, “i’ll reward you.” his other hand slides across the sheets, pulling the laptop a bit closer.
“but if you get it wrong…” he hums and tilts his head slightly. you can feel his fingers pressing little bit harder. “then we try something else, okay?”
your legs shift as the heat is pooling in your lower stomach, you’re not sure whether you want to get the answers right or wrong.
you try to focus, but all you can think about is the way he’s pressing his fingertips into your skin. the question is simple, you just have to say what’s the derivative of 5x², but your mouth is dry.
you know the answer to it, you two have gone over this theme hundreds of times, but you can’t open your mouth, your mind is completely blank.
“uh—“ your voice is trembling. you need to answer. “ten x?” you finally breathe out.
for a second, there’s silence. you start to think this is some sort of joke, that he was gonna laugh it off any second.
but inside your shorts, his hand slides higher, his palm presses right over your panties, and he hums, “correct.”
before you reach out to the laptop to read the next question, you feel your underwear get pushed to the side. you don’t have enough time to react as he slides his ring finger inside, which makes your breath catch and your thighs clench.
his finger presses in deeper and your hips instinctively roll forward, chasing more friction, he chuckles at that and his other hand slides up to press against your thigh to keep you still.
“we…we’re supposed to be studying,” you blurt out. he tilts his head and slips his finger in fully, “should we stop then?” you try to reply, but the only thing that’s close to a response from you is the way your hips keep twitching, almost begging him to move his finger, and he curls his finger inside, touching your sweet spot, which makes you let out a small whimper. jisung hums, “thought so.”
you dig your nails into the sheets. yes—it feels good, but it’s not enough. “jisung…” you whisper.
“hmm?” he answers in a mocking tone as his other hand grips your thigh tighter so he keeps you spread for him.
his finger starts moving inside you, but it’s so slow it’s like he’s not completely giving you what you want. though, you can’t bring yourself to protest.
“now, next question,” his voice is low. your eyes are locked on the laptop screen, but your brain is too fuzzy to register any number. you can barely breathe, let alone think.
he must know the effect he has on you as he reads the equation out loud, “derivative of three x squared?” he asks and presses his finger again.
you tremble from the touch, “fuck—“
“that’s not an answer, y/n.” his voice is so calm, not like he’s fingering you, more like he’s genuinely waiting for you to answer him. like you’re actually supposed to focus on fucking math.
it’s not like you’re not trying. you are trying to answer, but the way his finger is pumping inside you so slowly, curving it slightly with each thrust makes you on the edge of craving more.
“come on, baby,” jisung coos and his lips brush your temple, “i know you know this one.”
your hands curl into fists, “i—six x?” you gasp.
he hums in approval and adds another finger, causing your back to arch. given how large his hands are, the stretch is perfect.
before you control yourself, your thighs snap shut against his wrist, your whole body is trembling and you’re completely overwhelmed.
he sighs like he’s disappointed in you. “don’t do that,” he says before using his other hand to pry your legs apart again.
his fingers push deeper and suddenly his thumb brushes over your clit. it’s barely there, enough to tease you, but not enough to satisfy you. it still draws noises from you.
“better,” he whispers and asks a question you don’t even bother registering. you blurt out a random number, hoping you’re right, gasping as you gave him the answer.
he’s silent for a second, until he answers, “wrong,” and presses his thumb down on your clit, hard.
your whole body jerks. a broken moan spills from your lips and your legs almost start closing on him again, but his grip tightens and locks you in place. “you’re gonna have to do better than that, baby.”
his fingers slam into you faster, more deeper. the slow pace he’d set earlier is gone. your body is reacting on it’s own, your hips rolling into his hand, your mouth letting small whimpers every time his fingers thrust in you. you can feel how wet you are based off the slick sounds and how easily he’s moving inside you.
“look at you,” he whispers as he’s watching the way your chest rises and falls, the way your lips part, the way your nails dig into the sheets, “you’re not paying attention at all, is this how you’re going to pass exams?”
you can’t even hear him. physically yes, but your mind is drowning under the pressure of his fingers curling inside you and his thumb massaging circles onto your clit.
it’s so perfect, so precise that you could almost believe he’s playing with your body like he’s been waiting to do this.
but how could that be? jisung, the top student who barely speaks to anyone, who hid his face in glasses when you practically begged him to tutor you for finals.
jisung, who side-eyed you every time you spaced out in lectures, who rolled his eyes when you’d rather scroll on your phone than take notes.
jisung, who sighed dramatically when you showed up to your first tutoring session completely unprepared, who scoffed when you whined about how you’d never pass if he didn’t help you.
jisung, who agreed anyway, who sat beside you for hours, patiently going over problems, reminding you of formulas, watching you struggle.
jisung, who smirked slightly every time you leaned in closer, every time your knee bumped his under the table, every time you chewed on your lip and complained that math was ‘so hard’.
jisung, who was always so calm, so unbothered, so normal.
jisung, who’s completely unraveling you now.
like he’s been waiting to do this, like he’s thought about it, like you didn’t catch up with it.
your thoughts quickly get cut off from the knot in your stomach coiling tighter. “jisung,” you gasp, your words barely audible, “i—i’m gonna—“
he presses harder, his fingers hitting that perfect spot inside you over and over. “you’re gonna cum all over my fingers?”
you nod quickly and desperately. your body is trembling, your stomach is coiling tighter, tighter, tighter—
until he pulls his fingers out. completely.
the loss causes your body to tense, a sharp gasp breaks from your lips and your hips roll down against nothing, chasing friction that’s no longer there. “what the fuck.” you cry out in desperation.
jisung leans back against the headboard like he didn’t just ruin you in the span of five seconds. his fingers, soaked, still dripping with you, lift lazily to his lips.
you stare at him as he licks them clean. you can’t even process the fact that he just left you so empty, so fucking desperate, so completely on edge.
“you wanna cum?” he asks while smirking, it’s not a question, he knows the answer.
your whole body trembles, thighs still spread for him, pussy throbbing, breath uneven.
“yes,” you say instantly, “yes, yes, yes, please, i need—“
“then ace your exams.”
your brain stalls.
your jaw drops.
“…you’re joking.”
jisung shakes his head, like this is just another normal conversation, like he didn’t just lick your arousal off his fingers.
“you don’t get to finish,” he says simply, “not until you earn it.”
your nails dig into the sheets, “you’re insane.”
“i said i’d help you,” he answers, “but i never said i’d make it easy.”
you shudder. you’re still clenched tight, still throbbing, still sitting at the edge of your orgasm, still waiting for him to slam his fingers back inside you.
he knows. he’s still sitting there, fully clothed, perfectly composed, like he didn’t just completely fuck you over and left you aching for him.
you can’t even say anything.
“better start focusing more,” he hums, stretches and goes back to his phone, completely unbothered.
➶ 。˚  ° ──────────────────
this will be getting a part 2, so let me know in the comments or send an ask if you’d like to get added to the taglist🙂‍↕️
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Sasha going from thin popular cheerleader popular pretty girl before Amphibia and coming back taller and with muscle and covered in scars and maybe missing an eye and with hair short like a boy and she's no longer considered as pretty as she was before, to the point her mother takes hoursssss doing her daughter's makeup to cover her face scar or getting her an uncomfortable but hyperrealistic eye prosthetic (when she wanted one custom-made to look like Grime's eye) and trying to put her on some weird diet to make her lose muscle?? Which just made her feel tired and sick because she got it from shady internet articles. Getting kicked out of the cheerleading team despite being 10 times better than she was before with her amazing strength and agility because she has too many scars and looks scary to her old teammates instead of attractive now (why her coach is concerned about how attractive a middle-schoolers are is never questioned though). She's still popular and has a lot of cool made up stories about being missing in the woods and having to fight mountain lions with her bare hands or something, but it's different now. The new friendships she makes are more genuine, maybe she gets into some other team sport and while she can never tell anyone everything, she's a lot more emotionally honest now. Marcy designs her a beautiful prosthetic that looks exactly how she wanted and is a lot more comfortable and wears it despite her mother's complains. Now she almost kinda looks like the man (toad?) she actually wishes were her parent! How cool is that? Ugh, she just knows he would help her cope with the headaches and poor vision far better than her parents do. Her dad doesn't really care. He just looks at her weird when she does anything that requires even the littlest bit of strength, like helping him change a tire or carrying big boxes lmao. She's not even that butchy! Just a lil bit sometimes, she does like her sports and short hair, and picking up her girlfriends like they weight nothing (oh it gives her such a power rush!) but she still loves her skirts and dresses too! And she still thinks she looks great in them! She tells herself this must be how Captain Beatrix looked like during military galas, if she ever took off that uniform of her. It's certainly how Braddock would look. Somehow seeing herself through toad beauty standards helps a lot. Reminds her of how Anne would come back home dirty and sweaty and covered in mud after her parents took her on some day-long family trip to the mountains to look for frogs, happy and smiling so brightly, because "Hop Pop used to say 'if it ain't a little bit muddy, it ain't honest work'". And she knows Marcy feels a little bit better about her cane and crutches and wheelchair thinking about Andrias, and how much he changed his body to stay alive and look strong and healthy. Her body may not work the way it used to, but at least it doesn't have anything weird in it, at least she doesn't have robot parts - they got rid of the ports in her arms and legs just fine - at least it's all hers again. Plus, the weakness in her legs gives her a great excuse to ask for piggyback rides from her strong, beautiful girlfriend.
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ficretus · 14 hours ago
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Salem powers up
*Evernight castle, final fight*
Salem: How foolish, you still cling onto that faint ray of hope.
Ruby: It may be faint, but it's still shining bright. We won't give up Salem.
Salem: Those are the words of someone who does not understand true despair of defeat. Let me teach you what true despair looks like. *starts powering up*
Weiss: We are ready for all your tricks.
Yang: We kicked your ass in Atlas and Vacuo.
Blake: And are about to do it again.
Salem: I was stagnant, reliant on my old tricks. But I will thank you children, for you have shown me new kind of power. Power of brainrot. *dark aura starts pulsing around Salem*
Yang: The what?
Salem: Uh, this glow up hits different. Ready to get your ass whooped in 4k?
Yang: Ughhh *gets blown away*
Salem: So delulu Yang. Beat me? You're tweaking.
*everyone jumps at Salem*
Salem: *Roblox OOF sound*
*everyone gets blown away*
Salem: Jumping the GOAT? Big yikes. I'm stronger than all of you, no cap.
Weiss: Ughhhh, what is that? Some kind of dark sorcery?
Salem: Sorcery? Bruh. That's my BDE Aura. Y'all basic.
*outside of the castle, Cinder fighting off others*
Jaune: Don't you realize? You are just a pawn in all of this.
Cinder: That is rich coming from you Arc.
Jaune: Salem doesn't care about anyone. She doesn't care about YOU!
Cinder: You think I don't know that?
Jaune: Then why do you fight for her?!
Cinder: What Salem offers is still better than chains your side offers.
Salem: *shouting* I am lowkey dogwalking all of you!
Cinder: *disgusted* Alright, I'll be willing to hear your terms Arc.
*back inside*
Salem: You bitches better start calling me Saem, cause I'm handing my L to all of you. LANG!
Yang: *screaming in pain* That's so lame!
Salem: LAKE!
Blake: Ugh...
Salem: LEISS!
Weiss: *groaning in pain* Stop saying this gibberish. It doesn't even make any sense!
Salem: And of course... Luby.
Ruby: You are never gonna defeat us!
Salem: I owned you hard Luby. It's perfect really, first I rizz your momma then I rizz you. Skibidi you jit.
Ruby: *recoils in pain*
Salem: Oh this is gonna be lit af *gets hit by Maiden fire*
Cinder: I can tolerate waging war against humanity, but I'm drawing a line at this abuse of dictionary.
Salem: Oh Cinder. You are never dodging those rat allegations.
Cinder: *blasted away*
Salem: Look at you. Look at the sigma you've become. Look how L rizz you are, how skibidi toilet you are.
Cinder: *groaning on the floor*
Salem: You are woke, among sussy soyjack. I gave you Maiden gyatts Cinder!
Weiss: *whispering* How is she this strong?
Yang: She weaponized brainrot. Can we do that as well?
Blake: No. It likely has to be...
Ruby: Someone who can use magic. I know what I must do.
Yang: No Rubes, that's too dangerous!
Ruby: *pained smile* I've always been bit too reckless. HEY SALEM! Stop ghosting me!
Salem: What did you say?
Ruby: You got hit by an NPC, how cringe!
Salem: *staggered* What... You...
Cinder: *muttering* Fuck you Ruby.
Ruby: Time to kick your salty Karen ass. *grabs Relic of creation*
Salem: *pushed back* As if you could ever...
Ruby: OK... Boomer!
Salem: *falls to the ground*
Ruby: Ambrosius my blud. Create teleporting device and send her to... Ohio.
Ambrosius: I don't even want to know what's happening here... Your wish is granted.
Salem: NOOOOOOOOOOOO *disappears*
Ruby: *falls to her knees*
*everyone runs up to Ruby*
Oscar: You did it Ruby!
Yang: How are you feeling?
Ruby: Bussin *falls asleep*
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reineydraws · 8 months ago
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my tablet died and i think my wips are officially lost lmao so here's part of a comic that's prob never gonna get finished. 🥲 tho tbf it's been months since i worked on it so chances were low it'd get done anyways. 😅 my current pfp is from that first montage, but coloured (third image)!
the premise was that the strawhats and the red-haired pirates finally meet. luffy and shanks joyfully reunite and all the strawhats are excited and happily bustling about, touching base with the other emperor's crew--except zoro, who is hanging back and giving shanks the stink eye (second image). eventually shanks notices him and says, very cheerfully, "zoro, hi!" which pisses zoro off further.
usopp or nami ask what's wrong with him and if he's met shanks before, and zoro has the flashback doodle montage in the first image and growls, "yeah, he's my dad's annoying boyfriend." the strawhats are like, "you have a dad???" and then shanks is like, "aw 🥹 did you just call mihawk 'dad'? cute!" and then the strawhats are gaping like, "mihawk is your dad????????" (except for luffy in the back who goes, "shanks has a boyfriend? :D") and the comic ends on zoro angrily blushing and telling everyone to shut up.
anyways, it was something like that. 😂 i hope you at least enjoyed the summary haha.
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neige-leblanche · 2 months ago
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i honestly think the stress of my job is bad for my health tbh
#txt#negative#today someone came in & started racist hassling the other people just waiting in line#& yesterday i was Also having trouble calming down after work just like i am now bc a different person came in and started losing her shit -#-abt something someone else did#its like customer service but everythings heightened =_=#im gonna wait until the spring and then if im still tense & miserable after my vacation then im gonna quit#SPEAKING OF im. regretting inviting this friend of mine along on this vacation sooooo much. which fucking sucks bc i adore her but like;;;;;#she & i are two vastly different people when it comes to travel like shes way more detail focused & strict than me which i. super -#-appreciated when we went to montreal. but now we're going to asia & she. knows nothing about asia so it feels like she's relying on me to -#-patch the holes in her strict framework which i like. wouldnt be doing at all if it were just me 😀 i am a pathologically chill person when-#-it comes to travel. and now im like. im gonna be away from this stressful job & need everyone with an anxiety disorder to stay minimum 5ft#-away from me until i come back. except i will have one such person right next to me the whole time 😀 WHICH AGAIN SUCKS BC I LOVE HANGING#-OUT W/ HER IN LIKE LITERALLY EVERY OTHER SITUATION. LIKE;; INCLUDING OTHER TRAVEL SITUATIONS#ugh sorry i had to get this out of my system. i think im just sad my Fuck Off To Asia fantasy is becoming less that & more of a chore#shes also gonna be dependent on me for part of the trip bc i speak chinese & she doesnt. which like. i thought would be a necessary -#- unpleasantness for a greater good time when i was thinking to invite her.#i cannot stress enough how this is regret toward myself & not spite toward her.#its like i packed my most beloved tank top to go on a ski trip ya feel
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jdorian · 1 year ago
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Moodboard Monday/Tidbit Tuesday ☔️
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I finally managed to make a mood board for the mudslide fic that I actually kinda like, so here, have this and a tiny snippet.
Buck was still trying to wrap his head around what had happened, it was all so quick; the rain, the debris, the mudslide and then the moment of radio silence before the chaotic explosion of noise. “We’re not giving up on him.” Bobby had said at the time, but after four days, it has become abundantly clear that instead of a search and rescue, most people have already started to treat this as a recovery mission; except they still haven’t recovered the person who mattered the most. Buck buried his face into his palms, trying to breathe without choking on his own tears, cursing at Eddie in his head for leaving him here, disappearing without a trace. He took a few deep breaths and pushed himself off of the couch — Eddie’s couch, where he was sleeping the past four days, unwilling to go into the bedroom. He wanted to be close to the door in case someone else had found Eddie while Buck was wasting his time with sleep, so he could welcome Eddie home and let him take his rightful place in his own bed. It was almost childish how much Buck was clinging to this fantasy, but it was the only thing keeping him on his feet; and he knew Christopher needed him standing, now more than ever.
tags under the cut 💛
I was tagged by @daffi-990 and @wikiangela thank youuu~ 💛
✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @jamespearce9-1-1 @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @nmcggg @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @ladydorian05
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mars-ipan · 4 months ago
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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itspileofgoodthings · 10 months ago
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Porfiry telling Raskolnikov that at least he was honest and in one bound took the furthest leap to put his theory to the test of actual action——
#Taylor believing a man who is obviously lying to her#like. it’s fascinating to me how they’ll say anything to her and she’ll be like ‘okay let’s go’#she’s never read Jane Austen and it shows. but that’s okay because she’s the character in an Austen novel#she has no sense of self-preservation she has no common sense when it comes to love#and the reason I have endless patience for that is because she IS different. she is extraordinary. she is WEIRD. she’s so needy#so angry so fragile so stupid so brilliant so completely helpless#like the bolter———I can’t even LOOK at it right now#because you know she was like this since she was 5 and SHE knows it#just so. Different. so strange. I mean she ruled her family with an iron fist from the age of 11#and her packaging is so basic and she she had so much access to everything anyone could want#so there are none of the usual marks of someone being so Different#but like. people HATED her from day one. you know her own strength of personality was drawing out many people’s hatred or envy#and she’s so helpless in her own personality because she can never change#like thank you aimee? or whatever? heck yeah there was some girl who bullied her and brutalized her on the playground#and you know it devastated Taylor from day one and still does#and it’s just. I don’t know how people can’t see that someone with that extraordinary set of gifts#wouldn’t also suffer in such an extraordinary way#and ways that elicit so much scorn and non-sympathy because people are unsettled and jealous and annoyed by her#because she WILL find a way to win#but isn’t that proof enough that she is the very OPPOSITE OF NORMAL#it’s why people have to be like ‘oh she sold her soul to the devil for this success.’ or whatever the psy-op spy thing is#because there’s no human way to explain her success if she really were as basic/talentless as people say#ugh this is all so incoherent and irritating and I’m so sorry but I just. I cannot explain how protective my heart is of her#and all the many many mistakes she’s made and the prisons she’s made for herself because she’s LIVING the tragedy#of never having denied herself one time/getting everything she wants#and discovering the poison at the bottom of everything she reached for with desperate hands#like. I love her so much and I am so protective of her because she is so helpless and she is getting shot in the face every time#and she feels every blow!#whew I need to turn off reblogs and will probably delete but I just#this album is all of her spilled out and people DO hate to see it because a lot of people hate her!!!!
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itsalwaysdark · 3 months ago
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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phagodyke · 1 year ago
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damn I rly have another 4 weeks of holiday this year huh. I should start making some plans
#well maybe more like 3 weeks bc I wanna keep some to use for long weekends or day trips#but thats still kind of a lot..#my problem is i dont wanna take time off just to stay at home bc I do that most weekends. but im not sure I rly wanna go anywhere either#I dont mind travelling but its very much just a function for me. even when im travelling for fun + not bc I Have to it feels no different#Im v independent but I just dont rly have the adventurers spirit. plus im disabled so going new places alone is so stressful sometimes#ugh I dont wanna let my parents catch wind of how much holiday i have tho bc theyll be like come stay with us for a week!#i will Kill Myself no thanks#theyll probs already get christmas with me and thats an ordeal enough#its the expense as well idk how much its worth it. even if i can afford it like that money couldve gone into so many other things#ahhh.#my flatmate did suggest we go somewhere together but i feel like shes gone off that idea.. ik she doesnt get as much holiday anyway#id feel bad eating into it just so she has to spend more time with me even tho we already live together. nightmarish ik#there are maybe some landscapes id like to see but not alone bc id wanna hike but i dont rly have any friends into that kinda hiking#like i cant rly just fuck off into the mountains for a week by myself the risk is stupid#i dont knooooow. maybe ill just do myself a cornwall trip v early or late summer when kids are in school that might be nice#bc its just trains to get there. and ive spent a lot of time alone there before like it wouldnt be as stressful as a New Place entirely#i wanna do a music festival in the summer too but rly id only need 2 days holiday for that. and again i cant rly go alone#so i need to find ppl to convince to come w me#god i feel so lame for not rly wanting to go on proper holidays. but its never felt worth it to me sorry 😭#blame the childhood trauma or whatever#ill stew on it and maybe ill think of something we'll see. ive got a while yet before id need to book stuff anyway#gotta do some more cleaning today but the sooner i can get it done the sooner i can play elden ring 🙏🙏🙏🙏#.diaries
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kitten-kelcie · 4 months ago
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When he fucks up by not opening your last message but still looks at your story you posted after you sent that previous response 🤔🤨
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blackvahana · 5 months ago
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Don't get me wrong, I have a complicated relationship with this. When I say you don't need to understand, I mean it. I've so much use for soldiers, and being a soldier and weapon myself. There are wars that need to be fought and battles that need mass destruction to protect civilians. Soldiers, in the way of people trained to dissociate from their violence and listen to orders of who to kill, form the backbone of safety when wars involved. There's also general necessity for shutting off and getting something violent done
This is separate from the last post because there's no But, it's just personal stance on it
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teethcore · 7 months ago
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i'm getting tired of realizing that xyz situation was traumatic.
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gojoest · 2 months ago
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curiosity — gojo satoru
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MDNI, f! reader, childhood friends to lovers, satoru is painfully aware of his own feelings while reader is not, mention of past girlfriends (and how they all looked like you), handjob (m! receiving), cumming in pants (and in your hand), not proofread, wc: 2k, dividers by @/cafekitsune
synopsis: gojo satoru is your childhood best friend. you’ve been inseparable ever since you were little. spending day and night together, you’d often have sleepovers together — a tradition you both carried on throughout your college years. at least once a week you’d drop by his dorm room and stay the night, or vice versa. but compared to your childhood days, you no longer share one bed. that is, until . . .
part 2
a/n: this is a further (and very lousy) elaboration on this post of mine but hey, HAPPY BDAY TO MY ONE AND ONLY
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“i think we should try sleeping together”, you suggest one night.
“wah—“, satoru gasps, a teasing glint in his eyes. “didn’t know you felt that way about me”, he smirks.
“just sleeping”, you quickly clarify. “whatever obscene thing you just thought of — it’s not that”, you add, giving him a roll of your eyes.
“you should pick your words more wisely”, he scoffs. “if you go around telling people you want to sleep with them, they will misunderstand”
“ugh”, you huff, “i obviously didn’t mean it like that, and you know it”
“yeah, i do”, he lets out a soft chuckle. he knew exactly what you meant, but still he disguised his wishful thinking behind a teasing remark. “why though? all of a sudden?”
“dunno”, you shrug. “just feeling bad that you always take the floor”
“if that’s the case we can just swap”
“no — i cherish my comfort. come on, we used to do this all the time”, you pout.
indeed you did. but you were kids back then, things were different.
his heartbeat would race and his face would get all hot and red, the heat would fester through his entire body. but when the lights were off it was easy to hide it, the signs that he liked you. after making sure you were fast asleep, he would hold your hand and childishly smile to himself, he would peck it softly, secretly. one time you woke up in the middle of the night and almost caught him but he, startled, kicked you off the bed. yelling at you, lying, how you pushed your finger in his nostril in your sleep… he was so embarrassed, but also relieved you believed what he said was true. his secret was safe.
but now?
when you stand too close to him his body starts acting up in more mature ways. while he is better at controlling his facial expressions now and hiding his nervous heartbeat behind a nonchalant attitude, he struggles with keeping his urges at bay. he’s no longer the boy that blushes while secretly holding your hand; he is a man who craves you.
even when he’s laid on the futon beside the bed you occupy, the sound of your breathing alone gets him hard. you lie there, sleeping innocently, unaware of how much of a pain in the crotch you are being to him. when you leave in the mornings, he climbs onto the bed that is soaked with your scent and shamelessly jerks off. he stands on his knees and sprays his load on the bedsheets. eyes shut close, he pictures you beneath him.
he sighs in defeat. “fine”
“the right side is mine — it’s only natural, because i am always right”, you snicker and quickly pad over to the bed, plopping your body down on the mattress. “sure”, he chuckles and follows after you, sinking himself right next to you.
it is a bit awkward, you must admit. you are laid on your sides facing each other, in silence.
it’s cramped indeed, your knees are brushing against his and the space in the middle separating your bodies from one another is very scarce. but that was to be expected, the beds in the dorm rooms were designed for one person after all.
“so”, you break the silence. “how’s your girlfriend doing?”
“she’s not my girlfriend, anymore”, he states dryly.
“but it’s been barely two weeks since you started dating”
“well, things didn’t work out i guess”
the girls he dated, all of them looked a bit like you. same height, same hair color and length. similar facial features… he never lasted long with any of them though. all of them, visibly bothered by your presence in his life, would too soon ask him to make a choice — either them or you. neither of them aware that he chose to be with them in the first place only because they reminded him of you, and that it was never the question itself that drove him away from them. it was bound to happen, sooner or later. they could never be you.
you hum. “i see”
as you shift to make yourself more comfortable, you feel the shirt he gave you to wear to bed roll up ever so slightly, revealing the bare of your belly. a bit self-conscious now that he’s next to you, you are immediately urged to cover yourself. you slide a hand under the blanket, rummaging around to get a hold of the hem, but oh...
…the back of your hand brushes against something stiff. the friction incurring a low pant from the man, your best friend, next to you.
“fuck”, satoru hisses. his hand clasps around your wrist, pushing it away, but along with the movement his knuckles graze the flesh of your stomach. “fuck”, he curses again.
“satoru”, you say his name, voice hushed and timid but there is a note of underlying curiosity he is way too familiar with.
this is exactly why he was avoiding the one bed scenario — his boners were too hard to hide at this age and this size of him.
“satoru”, you repeat. “are you hard?”
“i wish you didn’t ask the obvious”, he mumbles, embarrassed. warmth washing over his face uncontrollably, just like in the past. but there was a bigger problem now — down in his pants, and the fact he got caught.
“is it because of me?”
“no”, he clicks his tongue, his grip still tight around your wrist, keeping your hand at bay. “it’s because i didn’t jerk off tonight, you know — it’s a natural thing for us men to randomly pop a boner throughout the day”
…which was true. but it was not the case right now.
“can i play with it a little?”, you ask, sneakily twisting your wrist in an attempt to free your hand.
“oi!”, he yelps. “did you hit you head or what?”
“i am curious”, you blurt out. “just a little?”
“stop”, he warns. “it’s weird”
his resolve is hanging by a thread right now, you’re too cunning to tempt him like this. he knows things will get awfully messy between you if he lets you cross this line. but still, he can’t flat out deny you. deep down he wants you to persist, a little bit more… if you ask him one more time, maybe he’ll crumble. surely, he will.
“it’s not”, you reassure. “i won’t jerk you off, i’ll just touch it”, you explain. “please? just a little?”
well. fuck it.
“this is a bad idea”, he says, but loosens his grip around your wrist. “fine”, he mumbles. “but just a little”
you nod, pulling your hand away only to slide it down his body.
you’re not really sure why you were so happy to hear the news about his break-up, but you always felt more at ease when he belonged just to you. your best friend, and not someone else’s boyfriend. you don’t know why you were doing this right now, or why your heart was racing. maybe because it really was weird? or maybe you were just horny?
finding his cock wasn’t difficult, it sure stood out from the rest of his body.
“you really are hard”, you gasp, running your fingers across the bulge in his shorts, dragging out a throaty groan out of him.
“yeah”, he mumbles. “like i said, stop stating the obvious”
“it’s a bit wet here”, ignoring his words, you thumb the spot where his tip is, making him squirm. his body slightly jerks as you press your palm against it. cupping it inside your hand you squeezing it gently. “it’s warm too”, you keep exploring further. “it has a pulse”
satoru lets out a helpless whine. “you sound so dirty right now, it’s weird”
he’s longed for this type of intimacy with you for years. but in his head, he pictured it differently. it was him who was supposed to do things to you, not the other way around. he was supposed to be the confident one, delving into your layers, making you squirm and fall apart under his touch. not the other way around… but this was good too. too good for him to oppose it. you were his weakness, after all. you always have been. no matter how much he teased and picked on you, in the end he always let you do as you pleased. this was not an exception.
you giggle to yourself. “yeah? you like that new side of me, don’t you?”
“…maybe”
sneaking your hand through the front of his shorts and boxers, you feel the flesh of his cock directly. it was twitching, his tip slick with precum. you put the tip of your index finger on his slit and rub circles around it to smear the pre oozing out of it, getting another soft whimper out of him. the head of his cock all slippery now, urging you to rub it all over the rest of his length.
your fingers wrap around his cock as you start to move your hand up and down, slowly, smearing his own slick onto his own flesh.
he tries to swallow the moan stuck in his throat. “you said you were not going to jerk me off, but what now? you’re playing a bit too much, don’t you think?”
satoru can last long. under normal circumstances, that is. but having you — not just his hand, but you, his first ever love, his only love — touch him like that, he could barely hold back. the urge to bust has been there since the moment you put your hand on his cock.
“why? you gonna cum?”, you slip your hand lower, down to the base of his shaft — where his balls are. you caress them tenderly, incurring yet another soft groan from him, before you go back to stroking him again. with each drag you pick up the pace. the room is filled with the squelching sounds caused by your hand, at this point, confidently fisting his slick covered cock, and his heavy breathing. 
“hey”, he puts his hand on your cheek, softly pinching on it with his fingertips. an attempt to make you snap out of it, but alas — you don’t back away. “don’t regret this”, he whispers, almost beggingly. but his voice comes out too shallow for your ears to pick up on.
“are you close?”, you peek at him, watching his face with rapt fascination, grateful that you left the night lamp on.
never have you ever seen him like this. his cheeks so hot and flushed that his pale skin was lit completely red, up to his ears and his neck. beads of sweat across his forehead with strands of his hair stuck on it. mouth agape — huffing and puffing. his brows knitted, desperately. pleadingly. his mouth telling you to stop, yet his face told a different story. so did the part of him inside your palm. it made you throb, down there, and squeeze your thighs together. your own wetness spurting out from your slit, drenching the inside of your underwear”
“fuck—", he growls. “i am— c-close”, he stutters, struggling to control his breathing and the moans that roll out of his mouth.
you feel his cock twitch in your hand, differently. the pulse on it beating faster and more brashly, like it almost made his skin stretch and push against the flesh of your palm. and then, there was a delay. a few, very short seconds in which his cock stood still before violently exploding, pumping out a thick shot of cum. then some more, and more, and more — until the pouring turned into a light dribble toward the end.
“ugh”, he throatily groans, his body relaxing after oozing all the tension out. although slower now, you keep stroking him, running your fingers across his softening cock.
“oh wow”, you gasp, his cum sticky on your skin, drenching the space between your fingers. “what a mess”, you giggle.
“you’re trouble”, he sighs. “is your curiosity satisfied now?”
you nod.
“if you get curious about other things”, he pauses, scratching the back of his head, “come to me. don’t go to other men”
“i’ll think about it”, you smirk.
after that night, you stayed over for an entire week.
this little play time turned into routine, and you were no longer the only one playing.
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malachitezmeyka · 1 year ago
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Violently swinging between still wanting to write that "Kuvira talks Suiren down from her manic cleaning spree" fic and not wanting to just rehash what I've written before/fearing I won't do it justice/genuinely scared of triggering myself again because I sink deeper and deeper with every breakdown
#and it's also like. what's the point#if only one person will read it. if there's a high chance I'll have to put myself through hell for close to nothing in return#maybe that sounds entitled and ungrateful. I don't care#I don't enjoy writing. never have. I'm not ashamed of admitting that if I force myself to write it's only because I'm looking for praise#and yeah. I know. this coming from the person who near damn deleted her fic after getting a genuinely nice comment on it?#make up your mind nia do you want engagement or not#but we're not talking about that right now#I guess my main worry is that I've already written astraphobia where while the inciting incident is different the gist is still the same#I'm drawn to concepts like these because I've put so much of myself into Suiren and her getting comfort is very spiritually healing for me#especially since my support network is literally limited to one online friend who doesn't always have the spoons to pull me out of my ruts#nor should it be her job to. I'm not implying that#but there's only so many ways I could write essentially the same thing. you know?#I don't think I could make it different enough for it to not be 'astraphobia but a little to the left'#and it sucks. because I've really been wanting to touch on Suiren's trauma responses that aren't completely shutting down#but I don't feel like I can pull it off#but no one else will but me....#ugh. I'm gonna talk myself into a breakdown if I keep on like this#I need someone to slap me every time I start talking like this. maybe that will train me out of it#just wrote out like five other self depreciating tags before realising that I was doing it again and deleting it#I need to stop
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mostly-imagines · 10 months ago
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Dear God Get Out
jason todd x reader
aka not a moment of privacy
warnings: mild sexual activities, more people than jason would ever want in your apartment during those times
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The second Jason’s through the door his arms are out, seeking to pull you into him. You let him engulf you in his arms without thought, this being the first time you’ve seen him all day.
“Missed you,” He mumbles into your shoulder.
You hum and rake your fingers through his hair. “I know. Missed you too.”
He pulls back to look at you and holds your neck gingerly in his hands. “You’re good?”
“Yeah, I’m good.” You nod and kiss his collarbone softly, wrapping your hands around his forearms. He gives your forehead a kiss and walks you backwards to the couch, leaning down over you until you have to sit.
He follows you down and kisses your lips and guides you backwards to lay. He drapes himself over you, inserting himself between your legs. He refocuses his attention to your neck, and sucks at a very particular spot below your jaw that you know he targeted on purpose.
“Okay, that’s not fair.” You breathe out, halfway to a sigh.
“No? How ‘bout this?��
He nips at you, startling you to a near moan. Your reaction only encourages him, as he holds your jaw and tilts your head to the side for more access.
He slips his hand under your shirt, grazing the skin underneath. He leaves open kisses all across your collarbone, trailing them down your stomach once he has your top off and strewn half away across the room.
You stop him, pulling him back up to you for a kiss. He furrows his brows at first, only understanding when you start to pry at his shirt too. He removes it for you, tossing it with startling accuracy right by yours.
He resumes kissing down your body, hands trailing down your sides along with him. He peppers kisses on your thighs and hooks his fingers into the seam of your underwear, readying to remove them.
It’s almost astonishing how silently he'd managed to open the window only to stumble and flail his way to the floor.
The sudden clatter scares the hell out of both you and Jason, who jumps to a stand immediately.
“Tim!”
“Evening. D’you guys still have any—oh.” Tim finally regains his coordination and stands up to see you sprawled out on the couch, bra and underwear your only cover.
His eyes go to the floor real quick and Jason lets out an exasperated sigh, looking around for something nearby to cover you up with.
“—you know, wait up means wait up!”
Oh good, Dick’s here too.
You sit up quickly and try to cover yourself with your arms, though there’s not much of a difference you can really make.
Dick ducks in from the fire escape and lands significantly more gracefully than his counterpart had.
It takes him no time at all to assess the room and see you, knees to chest on the couch, trying very hard to appear as though you’re not half naked. Takes him even less time to see Jason, standing in front of you, fuming.
“Oh. Oops…”
Jason chucks the tv remote at Dick and uses the distraction to pull you up from the couch, pushing you behind him. His massive frame is more than enough to cover what his brothers have no business seeing.
“Get the fuck—”
And just for good measure, Damian jumps down next and crouches in the window.
“Jesus Christ,” your boyfriend mutters, hands covering his face in exasperation.
Damian takes one glance at the room and grimaces—Tim’s eyes are glued to the floor, Dick’s acting as though there’s something very interesting on the ceiling, and Jason’s shirtless. He can’t quite see you behind Jason, though he doesn’t need to in order to guess what he’d just walked in on.
“Ugh, seriously Todd? That’s disgusting.”
You let your forehead hit Jason’s back, thoroughly embarrassed. He reaches back to caress your waist, and you know somewhere in that action there’s a reassurance that he’s going to get them out as soon as humanly possible.
“Yeah, seriously. This is our apartment, demon brat. Get out.”
“Maybe we should come back later…” Dick suggests, a bit more awkward than in his usual character.
Jason glares up at the heavens. “Or never.”
“At least keep it in the bedroom, you animals.” Damian chastises.
Jason suddenly wishes he hadn’t thrown the remote so soon. “Our apartment.”
He looks back at you without moving the shield of his body, eyes apologetic. You meet gaze and turn your head to rest your cheek on him instead, your own hidden meaning of reassurance. It’s fine.
You can’t see them but you hear a shuffle and hope to god it’s not another vigilante.
You place a hand on Jason’s lower back and peer around his shoulder, seeing Tim turned back around towards the window and trying desperately to get Damian to move out of the way—Damian, seemingly having no regard for Tim’s urgency.
You’re not quite sure if it’s over discomfort or embarrassment in seeing you so undressed, or if it’s because his self-preservation kicked in when he saw the look on Jason’s face. Maybe both. Probably both.
Both.
“Will you stop?” Damian slaps his hand away. “We came here for a reason.”
He looks past Tim at you, “Do you have—”
“No.” Jason cuts in, growing visibly more agitated.
Damian’s face contorts as he looks back up to Jason, “What is your—”
Now Dick cuts in, “Okay, that’s fine, we’ll just ask the old man.”
“Great.”
Dick pauses. “On the couch though, Jaybird?”
Jason takes a deep breath.
“Alright, ten seconds, then I get the gun taped under the table.”
That’s warning enough for Damian—he’s called that bluff once before and learned the hard way.
Tim doesn’t even take a second glance before hauling it out of your apartment, his cape getting caught on the window frame briefly before he scrambles away.
Dick calls out an apology to you before trailing out the window after him.
Jason lets out a heavy exhale and turns to you, hands gliding naturally to your waist.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.”
You shake your head. “Don’t need to be.”
He gives a low hum and wraps his arms around you, pulling you down with him as he crashes down onto the sofa.
“Should I feel bad about almost railing you into the couch?”
“I wouldn’t waste any tears over it. Not like it would’ve been the first time we did it.”
He laughs and tugs you further into his chest. You curl into him and close your eyes, thinking.
“Jay?”
“Hm?”
“How did Tim survive as Robin?”
“I’ve been asking that question for years.”
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