#it's cold in the building im in too
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should've just skipped my last class and went home
#now it's raining and it's fucking cold#it's cold in the building im in too#there is no escape#if i left hours ago i could've been drinking hot chocolate with blankets but no#im trying to write but i can't write while being this fucking cold#plus the band au is HELL right now
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saying this as respectfully as possible but. Do not put fandom content creators on a pedestal. We are also just fans contributing to a community just as you are. We have boundary on our own work and that’s it. What I say is not and should not be considered sth the whole fandom should listen to. I’m just a normal ass person ranting about things on my blog. If it does not have a fandom tag for others to engage in, do not make it out to be me trying to start fights or addressing the whole community. Because it’s not.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, my art, my lore talk, is biased. I’ve never tried to hide that I view Marika a certain way and will always develop my theory following that base assumption.
Aside from translation stuffs and pointing out in-game items, everything else I say you can look at it, agree or disagree, and move on to form your own opinions. Just because I draw stuffs doesn’t mean you get to saddle me with responsibilities about managing fandom expectations. What the hell? I’m a fan artist, I’m the last person who you should look at for “leaderism” (?) WHAT?
I can and will be a hater in my own space, like I know sometimes other artists will just post their stuffs and not engage too heavily with fandom, and for a while I did try to do that here (because I’m already a dramatic ass on twitter), that’s just not me though.
You will get art and you will get my opinions as well.
#asking ppl to [celebrate different takes] is... WHAT?#different takes as in well I think she likes apples and you think she likes grapes. yeah that’s some fun discussion to be have#but different takes as in the fundamental of a character’s drive and personality??? NO#let’s put that down very clear here#I can still read fics where Marika is cold and calculate and manipulative as long as I can see there’re layers to it and the author#set it up in a way that I can see they got her backstory and build those layers based on that#and then there are ppl who literally only portray her as omg evil girlboss 101 let’s blame everything on this cardboard character#then I click back.#and there r ppl who might not vibe with how i portray her and they can ignore me. THAT'S OK TOO. we r in our own space.#it’s as simple as that!#ever since the dlc is out i literally could see the amount of ppl blocking me go up and im just “ok” because i do go around muting ppl too.#that's normal fandom space managing experience. pls do that#lore discussion is for ppl to engage in so u say ur piece i say mine and we can continue or not depending on situation#but FANWORK? leave each other alone or be a hater in ur own space ok?#personal#also where are these ppl who have been defending Marika at... because if u exclude me#and some others i can count on one hand. where are these ppl?#ppl saying headass stuffs about the HS aren't even Marika fans or engage too much in fandom to begin with#meanwhile u can't even find one youtube lore essay that says anything good about her#ppl are even trying to give Messmer's mother position to GEQ for no goddamn reason#like where is this overwhelming support for Marika at cuz as the active Marika stan around im not seeing it
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still dont see how so many people say that dawntrail is poorly written in comparison to other expansions like. what, did you realize you had to learn about a new culture and immediately not care anymore lmao? you've done it before, was this one not white enough for you?
genuinely i think more people should do side quests during msq so idk you can form a heart about the characters you're interacting with if you struggle with that and understand the land better so when impactful shit happens your illiterate ass can actually read and have empathy. theres no excuse for this.
if you can't handle storybuilding and character introductions from the expansion that feels like stormblood and shadowbringers had passionate gay sex that got one of them pregnant and birthed a beautiful daughter they both love and care about then idk what to tell you, maybe youre just lame and can't read. best of luck with that.
#'they dont take as many risks as shadowbringers and endwalker!!' okay one WHAT risk did ENDWALKER take lmao#and two DID YOU PLAY PAST ZORMOR LMAO?????????? HELLO?????????? DID YOU LEAVE TULIYOLLAL??? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#like i genuinely think you guys just complain about shit without actually playing the game#god forbid you have to learn about another world#some people heard this was stormblood 2 and immediately gave up caring#oh im sorry you were able to care about literal racist elves in cold france but a refugee? a non white civilization? oh i see#shadowbringers literally set up its societies too they were already in war dawntrail wasnt already#i think people should replay stormblood. it was never a bad expansion and i dont know what people are talking about???#half of the complaints i see for stormblood are racist and the other half werent reading any of the dialogue#'the horrors of war expansion has horrors of war in it i just wanna play on the playground with gay elves'#bitches will literally say they dont understand stormblood or dawntrail and then say yotsuyu was justified zenos is hot and wuk lamat is bad#why play a fantasy game if youre not interested in exploring new worlds#dawntrail takes so many more risks than shadowbringers and endwalker combined and sticks the landing with just about all of them#i think my only problem was how many times theg brought up they arent related by blood. no i can tell lol#some of yall are just haters that cant form their own opinion and are just mindlessly nodding along to somebody#you follow on twitter that was gonna hate DT regardless because zenos didnt come back to life this time#consume new media. go do side quests. touch grass. walk a trail at dawn and perhaps you have appreciation for story building#you guys are pathetic and i wish you the worst <3#dawntrail's twists are on par with shb and stb thats why i call it the love child of stormblood and shadowbringers#ffxiv
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broooooooooooo i really really REALLY prefer a non-MW rook + emmrich i just really do T_T
#i love when he gets the opportunity to teach i love cultural exchange i love getting outside our comfort zones for each other#mw rook is just like 'aha i know what you are talking about because i too am from the necropolis :)' and that's ITTTTTTT#maybe it changes but so far no dice#i feel insane for how many people are gushing over MW rook x emmrich and im just left so cold from it#like the MW background is kinda cool so far#and they are one of the better and more lore-heavy factions which i love#but so far every conversation with emmrich feels like i'm trying to get a good grade in necromancy class which. yea he's the hot teacher#but im not trying to play like i'm actually in high school or something x'DDD#where's the intrigue. where's the mystery. it feels like he's an older family member. fuck dude.#Mara did it better#this is why linnea has to flip her shit and drop a building on his undead ass#dav spoilers
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dave :)
#art#traditional art#watercolour#oc art#ocs#oc group: dave#oc: dave#was testing out a different brand of full cotton watercolour paper that was pretty affordable#(thats why you can see my entire watercolour palette to his right LOL)#i got hotpress cause i was curious and im like so mad because its so good#i think i like hot press better for smaller drawings like this like this is under 10 inches. for something like 15 inches or bigger#cold presses texture is really nice BUT for smaller stuff hot press lets the colour shine through#while the cold press papers ive tried at a small scale they tend to dull down the colours a lot and it takes way more layers to build up#hot press does seem to have funky blooming situations sometimes if you put on too much water at once (like you can see on his arm)#but isnt that the charm of watercolour now that i think about it.... i definitely leaned into it in the bg LOL#but anyway im so excited dude this paper was a DREAM to work with#i am mad tho because now i fully see the light. i understand why everyone tells me to use professional paper. but it is still. Costly#LUCKILY the stuff i got was not tooooooo expensive but still...... It Is Costly hjrkfsjkrfsd
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organised the kitchen junk drawers its annoying bc i know most of it needs to go in the bin but i cant throw anything away w/o my mother checking it first just in case it is something she needs </3 but still its so much neater now i dont have to spend 5 minutes sifting through stuff looking for paracetamol
#organising my stationary drawer now im building little dividers out of carboard boxes. then im going to do the junk drawers in the front#room yay. can i make a career out of organising things can i be the next marie kondo#theres so much duplicate medicine in the junk drawer too we have like 5 boxes each of paracetamol ibuprofen flu medicine hayfever tablets#and everything bc my mam forgets what we have bc it gets so lost in the drawer and keeps buying more...#i found some cold sore cream that went out of date 7 years ago
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where do you guys think that the first support group is? like
what sort of building is this?
#also secondary question where do you think it is in terms of city but i think im just ognna go with london for this for this first one#but what kinda building is this?#like my first idea for where i'd expect smth like this is like a primary school#but this looks fancier than that#like mayor......mayor...house? idk what thats called. but that seems weird too#if it's a palce that rents out for meetings you'd expect tables at least#and smth a bit less pretty and a bit more cold#a theatre????#these are all my options and id ont think it's any of them
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huge PDF for writing OCs woohh
hello hi as a very obsessive person i made a 12pages long document with questions to answer for ☆ character building ☆ and im sharing it cause it's pretty cool (some questions i got from other tumblr users thank u !! 80% of the rest i shat out myself or w my sister) it was meant as a DnD universe thing but it can be used for anything else and it's charmingly separated into these slapping chapters :
government/official information
identity
philosophy/world views
relationships
combat/weaponry
exterior POV/plot points
modern or alternative universes
it's uploaded on the internet archive Here if you wanna use it have fun
#worldbuilding#writing tips#ignore the fact that im french it was to help my friends understand and then i translated everything in english but forgor the damn pic..#it means “insert two images of your OC here for ref” or smthg#if it sucks don't perceive me if you don't think it sucks or don't care at all i hope your heart stays warm even when the wind gets cold#im gonna be real w you none of my friends used it because its too long and they got scared to read it#oc#oc making#oc writing#writing help#character building#writing resources#writing characters#writing reference#urgh this is long#reference#oc reference#ref#original character#masterpost
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you need to play morrowind on openmw for distant land, shaders, bugfixes, stability, etc
#MORROWIND WITH DISTANT LAND IS SO COOL#IT'S SO WEIRD BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY SEE MY DESTINATION IN THE DISTANCE...#current release build also has a framework for rendering shadows but it's not super well optimized rn#i had to turn it off bc it was eating my frames lol#my distant land settings are also not cranked up too crazy high but are still really cool to play with#the shader im using is corona the cold shade bc it's a solid shader without impacting my frame rates#just look how vibrant everything is#tes#tes morrowind#screenshots
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Always funny to me when my coworkers notice how much of a germaphobe I am when they see me wipe down my cart in the morning. I dont just wipe the handle, I wipe the top of the sides and the top part of the baby seat, places where people grab other than the handle. Then I use hand sanitizer bc by that point I've touched: the cart, the scanner locker screen and locker, my scanner (also wipe that shit down, yuck), my lock, and the spray bottle. So yucky places.
I mean hey maybe I'm not giving my immune system that boost of exposure, but I'm also not giving it covid, norovirus, or influenza from touching the cart and scanner so 🤷♀️
#marquilla#sometimes it gets them to wipe down their cart or at least their scanner lol#im always hounding RC to not chew her nails bc the forklift handle is FILTHY and to wear a mask#everyone else can build or break their immune systems with the abundence of germs about and mask/clean at their own discretion#which is like never sgdggdgdgd but yknow im sure them all getting colds and the flu are just coincidence#im so scared im gonna jinx it and get sick myself sgdgdgd like im more so worried ab covid bc that fucker has gotten me 2x at least and i#got long covid from both times 😠 im less scared ab getting other sickness but i do hold a grudge if i KNOW who got me sick#like i got pneumonia in hs bc this fucking kid in my class had it and kept coming to school and i was out for like 3 weeks AND had to go to#the hospital overnight 🙄 fuckhead oh and he was apparently notorious for skipping school to play video games in middle school#WHY NOT STAY HOME IN HS TOO?? i also had to go in an ambulance and it was awkward as hell bc it was just a transfer from the urgent care/er#to the kids hospital and you cant drive yourself or have your parents take you bc theres a chain of custody and shit#ANYWAYS spritz spritz motherfucker im lysoling you all for your own safety
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catching up with undead unluck and………dear Lord.
#ʬʬ.sosa speaks.com#listen to me y’all listen J-JUST LISTEN LISTEN TO ME PLEASE#andy’s lil alter ego or original personality or WHOEVER victor is got me all kinds of excited#like idk if im shaking bc im cold or im THAT excited n stimulated#this lil serious demeanor he got is making me curl MY TOESSSSS RAAHNQWM#now i see why this isn’t his normal look because he would have been too powerful#a-and HE IS SO BIGGGG HELLO???😩 so so large…..#i’m cumming#i know sex wit this man would….*inhales deeply*#i know it’ll rearrange my entire pelvic bone and shift the position of my uterus#but i want him to#i literally feel warmth and slick building up in my pussy guys HELP ME#i need to be in a room with him where there are no others…..#the way i would immediately be on my knees the moment he looks at me even for 2 seconds#anyway idk why im like this i think im still ovulating (& lonely)
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finally catching up with bsd after one hell of a month (+ midterms) 🫠
#bsd spoilers#updates for ep 2 :3#right off the bat all i can just say is fukuchi is such a well-written villain; while i can’t completely emphathize with his plan yet#i have to applaud him (uh and asagiri too) bc that’s quite a villain to fear—he’s already in a position of power that puts him in a major#advantage compared to the ada; it’s like he masterminded this whole thing to lead up to this but WHY (idk if i just forgot)#point and case: i hate him and im always terrified of his next move but damn he’s such a well-written antagonist i can’t even 🤐#ATSUSHI GET OFF THAT FUCKING BOAT RN WHY DID IT HAPPEN SO EARLY INTO THE SEASON IM CRY WAIT NO#fukuchi pointing out that ranpo is just jealous that he and fukuzawa way back is just so adorable made me forget what happens next haha#how come i dont remember these cute moments from the manga 😩#god im stalling so much :(( i hate it i hate it i hate it#the reveal was so… he should’ve deducted this shit sooner (objectively the build up was so nice hsjdhdj)#MY JAW DROPPED THEN AND IT STILL HAPPENED NOW :)))))#ok fukuchi in his complete villain mode is kinda 😗#watching this after being detached to bsd in general is so much better bc i can now appreciate the whole thing as is without much bias???#THE WAY HE JUST TURNED COLD ALL OF A SUDDEN AND I OOP— 😗😗😗😗😗#oh both canon and beast atsushi and their paralyzing fears :(( my heart actually hurts#ATSUSHI THINKING HE’S ALONE ANDDDDDD#OH MY GOD I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE MY SSKK#I CANT WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE#toff.txt
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okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks
#i wanna go to aotearoa I've always wanted to but it's so FAR AWAY. also i need somewhere cold also i#love authentic gothic buildings too much to leave europe. but omfggggg#like it's truly so. i dont want to move somewhere where english isnt a main language but the#uk is out and ireland is unlikely and canada is just somewhat nicer french usa and nz is 4 days travel away. blows up#whatever i have 4 semesters of uni left to think about it. it just feels like im#hurtling full speed at the inevitability of living the rest of my life in Germany#i dont want to live in germany idek why but im sooo. like omg nooo 😭😭😭#partly because it's such a cliché but also coz it's such a vacation country for me like we#went there for vacation like. unironically at least 3 times every single year#insert joke abt *getting back at the 10000000000 german tourists that come to hungary every day* that I'm too sleepy to make#it's so . like i used to have a specific goal in mind (uk ☹️) but then SOMEONE had to go and leave the eu#and also the uk sucks fat shit like csöbörből vödörbe omg. but now i have no#real goal so im just drifting w the vague knowledge that any second now I'll have to pack all my#shit up and escape before it's too late. but where 😀😀😀#i have no qualms abt leaving my f*mily behind but I'll miss budapest#and if i left Europe I'd miss it too especially coz even canada feels really far let alone nz which yknow. 3-4 days of travel#it's the lack of goals that's killing me like OMFGG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK HARD AND#STRIVE FOR SMTG WHEN I HAVE NOTHING SPECIFIC IN MIND...#i mean ''get the fuck out'' is something but it's not Enough. i need to be insane about a#place that's accessible. all the cities/locations im crazy about are inaccessible for one reason or another#bristol and wales are in the uk. nz is on the exact opposite side of the planet. life so sad.#canada is the most likely one honestly but like omgggg. godddddjfdnffnfjfmmf#they should invent a budapest that's not in hungary. they should invent a hungary that isn't comically awful#barking#ok to rb#eastern europe#like im fluent in 3 languages and i can get by in like 10 other ones i Could brush up on any language relatively quickly if it came to that#but it's like. 1. I'd have to pick a location 2. learning a new language also means#getting an entire new personality as well which yknow. idk if i have the capacity for another one rn#i should just become fluent in the ones im somewhat good at but idk which to pick
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At the polar bear exhibit? When it’s already cold and windy? 😧
im inside! there's an outside section of the exhibit and an inside section. im currently inside to stay out of the wind and rain. but i can still see the bear through the glass
#i sat outside for a while under some shade but it got too cold#and the building is empty except for me rn so im chilling
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😍😍😍
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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unfortunately the allure of "at work i genuinely don't think that much and have no time or capacity to worry about home because i am fully mentally 'at work'" and "at work my family isnt there and i am not reminded of things happening in it by being asked about it by one of them or seeing them" and "at least i make money at work and am there often enough its a good amount and i feel useful lookibg at it" is really startibg to wear thin rifgt now
#i like not thinking i like being so caught in my sorting and doing a good job and helping people i dont feel the coldness settlibg in#i like not havibg sudden run ins i overthink later or being asked What Do You Think Haha in front of people id like to not air laundry to#people who respect me enough to wish well when im just a little bit not all there but dont want My Answer About It or My Assurance#i like not having to consider another job or parrttime searching again and scheduling both them at the same time#i like not thinking man but now im sfucking tired going too. when im cloxked in i turn all this off and i wish i could always be that way#helpful! im happy to help! im glad to. no worries no problem. thoughtful and useful and a joy if a little in need of guidance#the build up to therr. thinking about all of it alone on the way. always the sitting with it. the hours settling in#its wearing thin. something about it is. i think its only me. i wish i worked all the time so i wouldnt wind down back to all of this#everything here and reality going on and all the bad news and every bad memory and experience and incoming ache fffffuuck me man#im fine before anyone (noone) gets conc3rnened im just so tired. im so cold. nothing will come out. do i really need that as proof it hurts
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