#it's been a rough month
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The Last of Us but with Joel Mckinnon Miller.
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I'm not at 100% but I am on the mend. I drone on under the cut. I mean I really do. If you read thank you, if not it helps just to get everything out. My dental care the past year has been seriously traumatic.
I had an inflamed tooth that was extracted yesterday. After needing to be extracted for a week. I have medication for pain and infection. Though opioids never seem to help much. Last night I was able to get some sleep and I can chew again. My body has a lot to repair still.
This experience was a blessing in disguise, as odd as it may sound. For those who don't know, I am disabled. Sadly not in the legal sense. I can't get government support, yet I can't work a steady job because of my conditions. To put it plainly, I'm broke and must take what is given. I was without health insurance for a few years before I got medicaid. Medicaid does provide dental care, that is if you can find someone that takes it and is accepting new clients. It took over a year to find someone that was willing to take me on.
My current dentist has been a nightmare. The receptionist is obviously someone who has never struggled with money or her health. The queen bee type even though she must be in her 40s, low-key Karen. She treats everyone as if they are stupid and is extremely judgemental. Though not a major problem, dealing with her reminds me of all the girls that bullied me in my school years. That's still a sore spot for me.
The dental assistant can't take a proper x-ray. I'm not exaggerating when I say every x-ray needs at least 4 attempts. One time it took 7 tries. There is a major communication issue. I spent 15 minutes on the phone with her explaining that my filling fell out and that I can see the hole in my tooth. I don't know what she wrote down but no one knew I was coming in to have a filling redone. She is the go between for the front desk and the doctor and no one knows what's really going on. Every time I have work done she about waterboards me. She also is out of synch with the doctor. The doctor has to prompt her and even then sometimes she doesn't do what she needs to. They usually fight with each other. She is a nice person, but I feel she isn't qualified to do what she's doing.
The doctor is...something. When she isn't doing work on me she is okay and listens to me. When she's doing work she's no non-sense, which I respect, but it doesn't help my anxiety. She tells me to not fight her and to keep my head still. (I'm sorry, I can't breathe and I'm trying to not die but okay. Besides I barely moved, but now you can't see what you're doing because this place is lit worse than Dracula's castle.) She has me bend my neck back in an unnatural position that makes it difficult to breathe. I'm getting blasted with water going down my throat. I'm not completely numbed out, yet I get trigeminal neuralgia that I have to deal with for a week. (That has happened twice.) My tongue will be cut and/or burnt. I've had my lip and chin sliced as well. The entire time I feel like she's either going to yell at me or give up and say, "I can't work on you." I'm good at reading people and I can sense her frustration.
As mentioned, the lighting in there is terrible. The overhead light isn't adjustable or very bright. The chair doesn't allow for the head to gently fall back, hence the awkward pinch neck/pinned back head position that you have to hold. They don't let me see my x-rays or explain things in layman's terms. I haven't memorized teeth numbers as I didn't know that was a skill I needed. They can't seem to say 1st molar on the bottom left, just tooth 19 and I'm supposed to know which one that is. Communication over all is poor. They don't offer a print out of treatment plans so I can just figure it out myself. Their x-rays can't tell them if I need a root canal done on teeth or not. Which reminds me, they don't do root canals because they don't have the machine. They're impossible to get a hold of, they literally don't answer the phone. You have to leave a message and wait for them to get back to you. They don't have an emergency line meanwhile they are closed friday-sunday. Every time I go there I leave feeling stupid, worthless, and ugly. But, they're the only place I can go to for free and I have a lot of dental issues. End background origin.
So less than a year ago I had a filling done. It never sat right, it was overfilled, it hurt, eventually there was a gap, in Dec it fell out, 1 out of 10 bad. They had to redo it and made it sound like it was my fault it fell out. As they worked on me the tool broke. It was an interchangeable part but the new piece didn't fit. So they had to try to get the old one to work again, which they did. But if they couldn't get it working I guess I would just have to deal with an even bigger hole in my tooth for who knows how long. They told me if the pain lasts longer than 2 weeks to tell them. 2 weeks go by and I'm feeling pretty good. Slight soreness, but for a deep filling seems okay. 2 weeks and 3 days later, oh this actually hurts...but it is a major filling, the other one was like this and the pain went away after a few additional weeks. I thought it was part of the healing process as I've heard deep fillings take longer to heal and can be more painful than small ones. A couple more days, holy shit this pain is bad! I need my tooth pulled! I call and get no response, I email and get nothing, I even showed up in person and they were closed. Which is why I didn't get a response. It was during business hours on thursday. They're going to be closed all weekend. I considered going to the ER, but there isn't much they can do besides pain meds while there and antibiotics. I'm in the worst pain of my life. (This is coming from someone who walked on a broken foot for a month before finally admitting to myself it was broke and I should get medical help. I know pain.) Not only that I am worried about infection.
My mom gets and pays for my appointment at a local dentist for the following day as they do emergency appointments even for new clients. They happen to be running a deal this month and the cost ends up $19 for a full consult and extensive x-rays. Which they want to do before doing any work, understandable. Everyone there is pleasant, there's zero judgement. The place is well lit, too bright for me but absolutely needed for them. There is laughing and jokes between the staff. I get my x-rays first. None of them had to be redone. They also can tell which teeth need root canals. Everyone there listened to me and was sympathetic. When I told them my dentist didn't do root canals they were shocked. They showed me my x-rays and explained exactly what was going on with all of my teeth using layman's terms. They gave me multiple options far as saving teeth vs extractions. I told them with how much work was done on the one tooth and how much it hurt, I just wanted it gone. I was reassured that missing one tooth shouldn't cause me problems and all my bottom teeth looked good. They didn't mention how they were overcrowded, just they were healthy. They talked about my top teeth...yeah a lot of work still on those. But they can give me my smile back. I had a couple accidents which have cost me 2 teeth already, a baby tooth that needs to go, and now a days 3 that have major cavities that I could lose. All of which is, well depressing, but I was aware of it all already so it wasn't a shock. A lot of factors have gone in to my teeth but many people see missing teeth and judge. Even if they didn't I feel ugly. The past three years I haven't smiled much and I avoid photos to the point that people comment how great I am at dodging photos. My grandma felt bad and was willing to pay for an implant for my front tooth. Though I still would be missing a lot and thus still feel unattractive. For around the same price I can get a partial denture and have all my missing teeth filled in. My other dentist never gave me that option and wanted to push a bridge that would cost that only covered some of the back teeth. I already planned to go back just for the partial at some point but the extraction sealed the deal.
While they don't take medicaid, they do have a discount program that has a yearly fee of a little over $100. I signed up and already saved $330 on the extraction. Technically $230 if you subtract the yearly fee. It will knock down the price of the denture too. All work gets a discount. It's not free but it's about as cheap as you can get.
Extraction day I'm numbed out and wow am I numb! It's then that it hits me. I never felt that numb for work at the other dentist even with them doing more shots than what was done there. The chair lets my head fall back and I don't have to do the kink neck thing. I can breathe normally. They move the light and it adjusts. It's blindingly bright and they give me sunglasses to wear. The two of them moved so well together I could swear the doctor just had four hands. Anytime he said he needed a tool or suction, she had it covered. She did spurts of water and suctioned it out, none went down my throat. He kept telling me how good I was doing. He apologized a few times and when I alerted him to my tmj hurting on the opposite side he supported my jaw. I know my head moved just because of the force of everything. That wasn't an issue for them. Zero injuries to my tongue or face. Unfortunately, I did still have pain, but I know without a doubt I had the least amount of pain possible. He asked if I wanted any meds, another thing that my other dentist never offers. They are open more hours AND they have an emergency line that can be called.
It was night and day. I felt safe and I was treated like a human being. I will have to talk to my grandma and see if she will support me in getting most of my work done there. I will use the other place to get my two crowns covered and an easy extraction, the baby tooth, then goodbye forever. It's like feeling real love after being in an abusive relationship. I can't believe how I was treated. Maybe if I was in prison I could understand it. Even then I think it's still inhumane. I got a deep cleaning done at the new place as well as some preventative care. There are so many more people there and all of them are friendly and caring. 10/10
I cancelled my cleaning for the other dentist and they got back to me instantly. Hmm...okay, you don't like me cancellin, yet you don't do anything to keep me around. They actually got back to me the night before my extraction. While I was waiting on them I got antibiotics and an appointment for the extraction within a few days. I'm sure with them it would have been a week or more I'd have to deal with the pain.
This discount thing I have apparently has something with vision care as well. My eye care is a very similar story...I should see if walmart takes it because I went to them for years and never had an issue. Well besides the air puff machine punching my eye. That was a one-off thing. This other place, nothing but problems. When you have medicaid you're treated like shit. At least my doctor-doctors and specialists are all wonderful.
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Hello! I love your works, they're all so cool! I especially love your rc9gn ones because it's my current hyperfixation. Do you think you can make some (even your 3-sentences ones would make me really happy!)? I have a bunch of prompts!
Prompt 1: Viceroy trying to create a robot, but something went wrong (Bash/McFist/a robo-ape probably messed it up) and it caused an electric short-age to the whole town
Prompt 2: There's a thunderstorm at the end of class and everyone was advised to wait out the storm before they could get home, shenanigans ensues
Prompt 3: (contains human!Nomicon) the Nomicon thinks about all the good and bad things his current student has done
I have more, but I don't want to spam you with all of them, so here's all I'll give! It's fine if you can't do any of it, I'm just thankful for the work you've alr done!
Thanks so much, Anon! I'm sorry I'm getting to this so late, but I am delighted you like what I've written. I really appreciate you letting me know!
These prompts are best for ficlet prompts (specific scenarios always are), and unfortunately my ask box isn't open for that at the moment, but I'll turn them into three sentence prompts: blackout, stormbound, and human!Nomicon AU, reflections. I'm specifying what I'm boiling the prompts down to because I don't take specific scenarios for three sentence fic prompts anymore, so I ask for a word or two (along with the AU if it's an AU) for those, and this is how I'm going to list them in my three sentence fic list. (I'm still going to do your scenarios because I'm assuming you're new and don't know what I've been doing more recently, but this will give you an example of how a prompt can be boiled down.) You are welcome to still share any ideas you have, though! (It's always fun to see what people come up with.) I just won't necessarily turn them into ficlets.
Prompt 1 - Blackout
“Viceroy,” McFist growled in the sudden silence that seemed all the louder for the absence of any hum of machinery, “what did you do?”
Viceroy pinched the bridge of his nose—of course he’d get the blame for this when McFist, in all his enthusiasm, had been the one to activate the prototype before it was ready—but somehow summoned the patience to say, “It seems premature activation caused a power outage that, if the view out the window is any indication, is affecting the entire town; if you had waited—”
“The Ninja was right here,” snapped McFist, his words nearly—but not quite—covering up the sound of a pair of feet hitting the floor behind Viceroy and their owner no doubt dropped from above, “and if he’s going to show his face under my own roof, I’m going to send every WND we have after him!”
Prompt 2 - Stormbound
Randy didn’t think it would be too long before the rain let up enough for them to safely leave, but Howard—and clearly Heidi—had other ideas, since Howard had his phone out and was willingly watching Heidi’s Me-Cast, where she was saying, “Hey, N-villers, Heidi here with the DL on the downpour; the storm has us all stuck in school, so I propose a contest: first person to—hey!”
“First person to discover the real secrets of Norrisville,” continued Debbie, her face only partly in frame and the entire camera bouncing as she scrambled to keep the phone out of Heidi’s reach, “will win the prize. So how about it—who wants to unmask the Ninja with me?”
Prompt 3 - Reflections, Human!Nomicon AU
He would be lying if he called Randy his best student or his most skilled one, but Randy may well be the one who most embodied what it meant to be the Norrisville Ninja; he had a heart that wouldn’t fail him, and when he dealt with the likes of the Sorcerer and now the Sorceress, that was the most valuable of all.
Of course, he also had more luck than the last ten Ninjas combined, and at times like these, it was hard to accept (despite ample supporting evidence) that that luck was entirely natural and not the result of a magical artefact altering the luck of others and bending fortune to his own favour, no matter how well that would explain the current predicament.
“Yo, Nomi,” called Randy, since Randy had insisted on calling him that once he’d realized he wasn’t speaking with the one he called First Ninja, “now that you’re, like, a person and not a book, this is a perfect time to teach me how to do the Ninja Dragon Fist, so how ‘bout it?”
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see more fics | more RC9GN fics
#rc9gn#three sentence fic#three sentence fics#my writing#ladylynse#I can imagine how it looks with me drawing a hard line in the sand with the specific scenarios thing#but I've got to stick with it because I'm still getting asks like 'can you write this character giving birth to so-and-so'#and getting more detailed from there#vague one or two word prompts give me more freedom with the three sentences anyway#ooh if you send in a pairing prompt in the future please let me know which pairing you want it written for#but also yes I am sorry it took me so long to do this#it's been a rough month#and when I did manage to take a vacation I was not at a computer so#I had to wait until I had time and a brain to write
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♥️ love train! send this to all the blogs you love! don’t forget to spread the love! ♥️
Thank you so much🥺🥺❤️
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me: It's been a rough couple of years but I'm stitching the shreds of my sanity back together. boss: hate you for working overtime and caring about doing your job well, actually. doctor: you need surgery on your drawing hand and it's gonna be expensive.
clients: to help you pay for that here's 30 extra hours of work that's gonna really aggravate your injury, due in 2 weeks.
friends: Oops, too busy living and hanging out with loved ones in real life to talk to you.
the weather: get broiled idiot.
teenage coworker: gonna leave early after half-assing all the tasks you gave me, hope that's chill but if not, my bad.
boss: Don't you dare work more overtime.
only other coworker (showed up late): gotta tell you about this great new alt-right documentary I'm watching. gran: oh you're stressed about silly things again? That's nice dear. Hm? What was that about nazis? I wasn't listening because you're so silly sweetie. Always worrying about things like wages and never being able to afford a house. Houses are actually very hard to take care of and they're very expensive. Your transphobic mom who thinks you're possessed by demons and the family of right wing anti-vaxxers who harassed you during the pandemic all say hi by the way.
me: ... hi guys.
gran: Yeah we're playing cards. Love you sweetie. mwah
me: you know what never mind.
#barely hyperbole#things that happened#it's been a rough month#bad times#corporate american hellscape#mental health
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#it's been a rough month#between the relationship ending#and a funeral#and another one coming this week#oh and 12+ hour work days#i don't even know how i keep going#so sorry to everyone whose messages i haven't answered yet#and mutual posts i've missed#i just don't have the energy#i am binge watching stuff and eating too much sugar#and avoiding humans#i am a lot better than i was mentally#just don't have the energy to keep up with tumblr#or make gifs#but vacation is coming soon#and so is my birthday#hopefully i can fix myself up until then
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Still having trouble finding joy in things but I'm slowly crawling out of my pit of despair (lol) so I think (hope) I'll return to fandom blogging soon. It hasn't even been that long but omg I do miss it and miss interacting with my online buddies 🥺
#dining rambles#it's scary to look at stuff you should enjoy but not feel anything or worse feel negative emotions#I hope I'm mostly over it#it's been a rough month
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off to explore Boston this weekend 🫡
#hopefully my POTS flare up may resolve itself with lots of hydration#it's been a rough month#and I'm also flying for the first time in yeaaarsss#nervous#i'm gonna feel like death i think lmao
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Me: okay, I'm done spending money for REAL this time
An hour later: woah! These bath bombs are shaped like GNOMES!
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Zosan comic inspired by videos of otters holding hands so they won't float away from each other.
#roronoa zoro#sanji#black leg sanji#zosan#zoro x sanji#one piece#I have finally finished it!#I posted a rough sketch of this on discord server about 9 months ago and then I just abandoned it ;-;#this psd file has been staring at me for so long and now this comic is finally done!!!#I'm so happy but also now I know I can't post my WIPs because that's what happens to them XD
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Homer!Odysseus and Epic!Odysseus would try to kill each other if they ever met
#Homer!Odysseus: you sacrificed your men to save yourself? Detestable coward! How I wish I was never born if it would ensure you had not the#Epic!Odysseus: you’d understand if you *loved your wife.* But I guess a guy who stayed with Circe for a year wouldn’t know that!#H!Odysseus: do not speak of things you know nothing about! I long for my return to sweet Penelope but I have a duty to my men#E!Odysseus: A YEAR. A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD KILL ANYTHING AND ANYONE TO GET A HOME A YEAR FASTER#H!Odysseus: that was clear when you served Scylla six men like they were cattle!#E!Odysseus: it was them or me! And don’t keep talking about my friends like you did any better. you’ll go home alone too#H!Odysseus: they doomed themselves when they ate Hyperion’s golden cattle. I am not responsible for their suffering. But you could have ens#H!Odysseus: Now Eurylochus’s body lies at the bottom of the sea where there can be no burial and no honour#E!Odysseus: AND I’LL GO HOME TO MY WIFE. MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT LOVELY LOYAL WIFE WHO’S BEEN WAITING FOR ME FOR TWENTY YEARS.#E!Odysseus: and when I go home and she asks if I came back as fast as I could I’ll be able to answer honestly#H!Odysseus: WE HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THE MEN NEEDED TO REST#E!Odysseus: FOR A YEAR???? DID THEY NEED TO REST FOR A YEAR??? AND DID THEY NEED THAT REST RIGHT AFTER A MONTH’S LONG REST WITH AEOLUS??? S#H!Odysseus: IF YOU WISHED FOR ITHACA SO DESPERATELY WHY DIDN’T YOU OBEY PALLAS ATHENA AND KILL THE CYCLOPS#E!Odysseus: *drawing sword* I WAS HAVING A ROUGH DAY#Epic the musical#Epic odysseus#The odyssey#odysseus#Homer#Greek mythology#Jorge rivera-herrans#nuclear war speaks
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what else ought there be?
#wishing everyone a merry christmas <3#i hope a mysterious knight comes to your house and challenges you to a friendly christmas game#everyone pls watch the green knight (2021) directed by david lowery#(i love the original tale a lot but this film has a death grip on my heart im spellbound every time I watch it)#anyway its finally finished!!#sorry i've been gone#it's been a really rough couple of months art wise coupled with a bunch of work overtime so i haven't had too much time to draw#the green knight#gawain and the green knight#sir gawain#arthuriana#the green knight 2021#gawain#illustration#mythology#myart
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time to put on the spooky hat
#doodle#traditional#i have no idea if im going to be able to do drawtober/inktober this year and its stressing me out#im sorry if i dont post much this month#i normally go crazy in october but its been a rough year physically
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With the end of season two comes a second redraw!
[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I was really looking forwards to this redraw - though the jump in skill isn't as dramatic as the last one I still am proud of my progress!#It's really incredible to look back on this last year and how much has happened since then.#Both in my personal life and this blog.#I started the second season while I was going through some pretty rough times and it truly kept my sanity afloat.#I challenged myself a lot more this year! And while it didn't always turn out the way I hoped-#-being messy and earnestly trying to do something different has been my favourite part of art.#There will always be a lot of room to grow - I don't think art and creativity has a ceiling.#I went from doubting that I was even an artist to joining a gamedev team as the lead artist! That's character growth!#Thank you all once again for joining me on this journey B*)#Thank you for all the messages and support you have sent my way these last 18 months.#I'm so happy to have been given the chance to create something for this community. You've given me so much and I am so grateful.#I'll take a little break to post some personal project stuff this week and resume season three after that!#Onwards to another season of silly (and sometimes serious) comics!
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something something gman tommy something something gordon in stasis. you know how it is.
#GOD TUMBLR ATE THE FUCKING QUALITY. JESUS CHRIST.#This is a lil rough lookin cos it’s uhhhh . One it’s like a month old and 2 it took me like an hour w no real thought or effort#Anyway#I Feel Normal . Im normal. It’s whatever#THIS IS BASED ON NOTHING . other than this has been haunting me. The hypotheticaaaallllllsssssss aaauuughhhhhhbhhh#hl2vrai#hlvrai#tommy coolatta#should. I tag ol gordon here ?#I dont. Know. I don’t wanna Fuck up th hl tag#whatever.#hlvrai 2#gordon freeman#gordon feetman#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai tommy#If they do do smth w stasis it’ll fuck me up so bad cos. ONE .#that means Gordon never got to go home. fucked up. Fucked up#TWO . It’s so. AUIUHGHH. It’s one thing w like. in the hl2 canon of Gman this like. Mysterious freak fuckin around w Gordon#Where it’s just an uncaring omnipotent Guy taking you in and out of limbo as he pleases#but with like. Dr coomer specifically tryna contact Gordon and TOMMY BEING GMAN. FUCK. it’s like. Now it’s your friends.#now it’s your friends who need you and are trying to help you along. putting you into place. THERES SO MUCH MORE WEIGHT THERE#this might be me reaching but it’s like. ohhhh my god#wgatever. What the fuck ever#EDIT: SOMEONE JST POINTED THIS OUT AND THIS WASNT ON PURPOSE I SWEAR TO GOD. HES KINDA IN TH FUCKED UP VR CROUCH POSE. FUCK . FUCK
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i just wanted to draw her...
#“havent you drawn her in the exact same pose as the top right one before”#have you considered i think its hot when she cackles. next question#these past few weeks to few months have been rough BUT my drive to just make self indulgent stuff is coming back yaaay yay wahoo#i miss my wife tails. i miss her a lot#murder drones#murder drones fanart#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#uzi murder drones#uzi fanart#serial designation n#n murder drones#nuzi#md nuzi
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