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thechaoticcherub · 12 days ago

Text

Cherub

Pairing: Priest!Joel Miller x reader

Summary: Reader is a student teacher at the Catholic nursery school attached to the church she attended growing up. While becoming disillusioned with being a teacher she runs into the church's priest that she has known since he taught her confirmation classes.

Warnings: 18+ please, large age gap, power dynamics, dubcon(?), priests, catholicism, lots of religious imagery, i mean i am GOING TO HELL, blatant blasphemy, violation of holy spaces, joel is a PERVERT, some mentions of him being interested in reader as a underage teenager(no actual underage anything), masturbation, sexual shame, humiliation, embarrassment, innocence kink, virgin reader, fingering, unprotected penetrative sex, light choking(not even really choking), rough sex, pussy pronouns, no use of y/n, religious trauma, i really gotta underscore how much I violate holy things from christianity, smoking, cigarettes, cum play, lots of pet names, no daddy kink but lots of calling him Father

Notes: Okay please bless me lord for I have SINNED. this is FILTH even thought there isn't like constant smut it might be the dirtiest thing i've written? I'm so sorry to Catholics everywhere. And I'm sorry if I fucked up terminology. I tried to do lots of research but you know, liturgical shit is hard to understand. also yeah, i get how much this is more writer insert than reader considering the title. Ahem. I'm sorry this is again not really edited or beta read. sorry. Well I hope you enjoy!

OH! also: I have a playlist for this if anyone would be interested, let me know!

Word Count: 6.4 K

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It had been a long week at Holy Trinity Catholic Nursery School and you were exhausted, when you had first started your student teaching unit you had been beyond excited to be back at the church you grew up going to. You were familiar with the facilities including the big, beautiful sanctuary and the priest who still presided over the Parish was the priest who had done confirmation with you. Father Joel Miller had always been a slightly off-beat, interesting, yet intimidating choice for priest of a Catholic church. He was known for smoking Marlboro Reds in his office, having a scruffy unshaven face, giving short homilies in his gruff Texan accent and seeming more like a cowboy than a priest.

There was something about him though that had always sent a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t tell if it was a good shiver, or something sinister. He was handsome, that was a known fact around the church when you were growing up, the other girls in your confirmation class giggled about it and even now your co-workers at the nursery school often made jokes or teasing comments to each other. He had to be in his mid-fifties now with greying stubble and hair and lines around his eyes and forehead but yes, you did still find him attractive, but it didn’t shake the sense that your tingling sense of something might not have been entirely positive.

Maybe it was the simple fact that his eyes always had lingered on you for longer than you felt necessary. Even when you were a young teenager in his confirmation classes, learning prayers, handing in your sermon notes, sitting in mass every Sunday, you felt his eyes on you. You never understood what it was about you that made him look for so long but he had. Now that you were working on becoming a teacher like you had always hoped, you found that when he came to visit the classrooms, he spent his time asking you questions about the classroom instead of the lead teachers. That was easy to brush off as maybe he felt like he was helping you learn, but when you brought the children to the main church for their daily prayers his eyes would spark on you and he would come to you first when he gave a blessing to everyone. His hand resting on your forehead as he spoke his short blessing before drawing the sign of the cross on your forehead with his thumb, his eyes stuck on yours as if he would never look away. Eventually he always did, moving on to each individual child and adult from your classroom, but he didn’t linger with any of them the way he lingered with you.

Now, as the day was coming to a close you had snuck away from the classroom to try and escape the exhaustion that was working with children day in and day out. You had always wanted to be a Nursery school teacher but now that you were experiencing a classroom you understood why burnout was so common. You had made up a bad excuse and snuck down the cool hallway, away from the school portion of the building, to the candle lit nave, you weaved your way through the pews over to the side aisle lined with stone arches. You took a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of the cutesy dress you wore because of your ridiculous desire to be the next Ms Frizzle. In your opinion, just under the arches to the side of the pews was the best place to sneak away to and smoke without being in too much danger of being caught. The incense that was regularly burned covered up most of the smell, you could enjoy the view of the sanctuary and the altar while you smoked and it was usually deserted. You tucked yourself under one of the arches, your back pressed into the cool stone and lit up. Taking a long inhale you relished in the fact that you weren’t surrounded by screaming preschoolers. It was allowing yourself these couple minutes away from the chaos of the end of the day that made this week bearable. You smoked and tapped the ash off onto the stone floor, rubbing it into the cracks with your foot as you went.

“You ain’t sposed to be smokin’ in here, young lady.” The voice came from a few yards away by the priest’s door that opened into the sanctuary by the altar, you jumped and turned to face the man whose voice it was. Father Miller was watching you as he walked across the sanctuary, first past the altar and then the pulpit and down through the central gap between the altar rails. You felt frozen in place, you had smoked here multiple times and no one had ever come in and of course now, it was Father Miller who had found you here. He stood in front of the first pew and crossed his arms over his chest, still watching you.

“Shit,” you said, unsure of what to do with the lit cigarette. Usually when you were done smoking you’d put it out on the floor and rub out the mark and shove the butt into the pack to get rid of later. Now he was there and the smoke from your cigarette filtered up above you, curling against the stone arch and then dispersing.

“Got a fresh mouth on you too,” He added with a laugh. “Never knew that about you before,” he crossed in front of the pew, walking towards you. You felt like a small animal caught in a trap and he was some kind of giant predator stalking towards you. He was wearing all black, his shirtsleeves were rolled up and his clerical collar was bright white against the black of the shirt.

“I’m sorry, Father, I…didn’t think-” You broke off because really you didn’t think you would be caught, not that you didn’t think it would be a problem or anything. Joel’s eyes widened a little as he waited for you to finish your sentence, he turned at the end of the pew to walk along the side aisle to the first arch where you were still trapped. His finger grazed alone the wood of the pew,

“You didn’t think…?” He prompted when your voice faltered. You shrugged,

“I don’t have an excuse, Father.” You admitted. Father Miller walked right up to you in your alcove that you thought would be so secret and stood in front of you. You remembered how intimidated by him you had always been, suddenly you felt fifteen again, having to recite scripture and prayers correctly in your weekly confirmation classes. Your heart thudded in your chest as he looked down at you, he was tall, broad and as he stood so close to you, popping any sort of personal space bubble you thought you had, you realized you could smell him. Tobacco, cool mint, fresh sweat and then underneath it all, an acrid heat, almost metallic. It mingled into something not unpleasant but it did mean he was too close.

“Go ahead and smoke that, kid.” Joel’s eyes moved from yours down towards the cigarette dangling in your fingers and he nodded slowly, encouraging you.

“I-I shouldn’t…” You stuttered, still looking up at him, almost transfixed on his face, still frozen there half with fear, half just trapped in his gaze.

“No, you shouldn’t…but you already are, cherub, may as well finish.” Joel said and you watched as a sly smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. Cherub. Not typically did a priest use any sort of nickname for a parishioner, let alone a pet name like that. If anything they would say “my child” if in confession. Cherub sent that familiar shiver down your spine, a memory surfaced of that word on his lips years before. It had been to you then too,

“Say a hail mary and you will be absolved, cherub.” You must have confessed something to him or done something wrong in class. Your heart sped at the memory and your eyes flicked up to meet his. He was telling you to smoke, daring you to and there was no reason not to anymore. It wasn’t like he didn’t smoke in the church, Mr. Marlboro Reds in his office. So you held his gaze as best you could and lifted the cigarette back to your lips and inhaled. You blew the smoke away from him and he watched you, like he had so many times before.

“Aint you supposed to be with the kids?” He asked, still standing to close, his scent still wafting over you, still just watching you smoke.

“Yes,” You said softly, “But I needed…a minute away,” You didn’t even want to admit how much you needed to get away from your job, your responsibilities but the words spilled out of you before you could stop them. You hurriedly brought the cigarette up to your lips again, as if to silence yourself.

“A minute away…” Joel repeated, “To pray?” He asked, his voice mocked you because even though you were in the church, you weren’t lighting a candle or on your knees asking for peace. You were smoking and feeling bad for yourself. You started to shake your head, the cigarette dangling from your lips now, before you could even complete the motion his hand was on your chin, halting your movement. His thick thumb dug into one side of your jaw, his pointer finger curled down the other side. Breath, and all thought was knocked out of you. All you could do was look up at the chiseled face above you. There was grey in the scruff on his cheeks and peppering his mustache and his chin was tilted up as his eyes looked down on you, examining your face. The old priest shouldn’t have been touching you like this, you knew that but your feet wouldn’t work, your stomach twisted and the shiver running up and down your spine still couldn’t make up its mind about whether it was a good shiver or a bad shiver. “I think you need’ta get on your knees to pray more often,” his voice had lowered slightly but the gruff resonance in it was enough to shake you. You thought for a half second he was about to force your to your knees now but instead he reached up with his other hand and plucked the dangling cigarette from your lips. He put it into his mouth, inhaled and then removed it, taking a step away from you,

“Thanks, cherub.” he said and then he turned on his nice leather shoes and walked back up through the pews.

You didn’t return to the church to smoke again. You did tell yourself you would go to mass more often. The thoughts you were having about that evening were completely unholy, and you needed to force them out of your mind. You needed to take the Eucharist and try and heal yourself from these sins of the flesh. For the first time in a long time you had been tempted, really tempted to do something you knew was wrong. When you were young you had touched yourself plenty but as you got older you became more and more disgusted by your actions and resisted it, knowing self love was sinful, but that interaction with Father Joel Miller had you thinking things that made your body heat up. The crawling shiver up your spine had been a warning, a warning about feelings that had bubbled up in your tummy and how it would be so easy for those feelings, those desires, wants, needs to take over. It was your own dirty mind that was allowing you to believe it was because of Father Joel looking at you that you got that creeping sensation. He was a priest, a little bit of an unorthodox priest, but a priest nonetheless and you were allowing dirty thoughts to change your opinion of him. So going to mass was a good idea.

You didn’t allow yourself to look at Father Miller during the service on Sunday, but his gruff voice speaking his homily reminded you vividly of the way he said “cherub”. The way he had told you that you needed to “get on your knees to pray.” You could barely pay attention to his words because simply his voice, that resounding, husky voice did something to you and warmth pooled deep in your belly. It felt like there was a persistent drip of warmth sliding lower down, lower to that place that remained mostly unexplored by you, by anyone. All because of his voice.

You felt like it vibrated through the floor of the church and up into your pew, making you pulse with your disgusting desires.

You kept your eyes down, on your hymnal, refusing to look up at Father Miller because there was a quiet part of you, in the back of your mind, that told you if you looked at him, you’d be meeting his gaze. That would do absolutely nothing to help control that heat that was pooling inside of you.

When you stood to go to the altar rails and receive the eucharist your legs were wobbly, damn this weakness. There was no reason to sexualize Father Miller’s kindness to you. He hadn’t gotten you in trouble for smoking in the church and in return you were allowing these debased thoughts to happen to you in church on your way to receive the very body and blood of Christ. While you walked up the aisle, the crucifix directly in front of you, a statue of the Virgin Mary staring into your soul, you could feel that drip of heat wetting your underwear. You tried your hardest to tell yourself it was nothing, it was just natural discharge, not what you knew it to be, your body’s reaction to Father Miller’s voice as he spoke holy words, prayers and talked of repentance during his Homily.

At the altar rail you knelt down on the cushion and clasped your hands in front of you to pray while you waited for your turn to receive communion. You knew you would have to look at Father Miller while he gave you the body of Christ but you were scared, you had forced yourself to avoid looking at him all throughout mass, you hadn’t met his gaze when you knew he was looking at you and you told yourself time and time again that his gaze meant nothing. But your attempts to curb your desires had been in vain something about his voice, about the memories of his hand on your chin, his body so close to you, his smell had caused you to leak arousal into your underwear. Your labia felt swollen against the tight cotton and you were ashamed to be kneeling in church like this, your face was burning much like you would be if you were to be struck down dead right now. You could hear him approaching, speaking to each parishioner as he placed the body of Christ on their tongue and blessed them. You would have to look up at him shortly, your eyes would have to meet his, you would have to take in that face that had been haunting you while he spoke his blessing to you. He was on the person to your right and now was the time to tilt your head up, you almost didn’t but as he moved over, you knew your place as a good Catholic and you looked up at your priest.

He was just as entrancing as he always had been, in off white vestments with gold stitching, his greying hair pushed back away from his face, a little long in the back, curling around his neck and his eyes, dark and hungry, staring down at you. Your vagina clenched around nothing and you burned with shame and the memory of his big hand at your chin and jaw.

Your eyes locked onto his and his gaze held yours, refusing to let you go, there was no choice in the matter, you would gaze up into his eyes until the end of time if he wanted it. He held the body of Christ out to you, your head upturned. At the time you didn’t understand just how reverent you looked, all you could think of was him and the vague worry that your juices might have been dripping down your leg.

“The body of Christ,” Father Miller’s voice changed ever so slightly when he spoke the words to you. You had been listening the whole time you had been kneeling and now his voice had lost the monotone pitch he had had. There was a lilt in his voice that was only for you.

“Amen,” You said, you opened your mouth, your tongue very slightly pushed out, resting on the edge of your bottom lip, your eyes still captured in his gaze. Something blazed there, behind his eyes and despite the heat in your cheeks and the heat that was making your wet and swollen vulva pulse with a need you had never felt before, that familiar shiver crawled up your spine. Joel placed the body of Christ on your tongue and maybe you imagined it, maybe it was a split second that felt like it stretched into eternity but you could have sworn the tip of his finger grazed the side of your tongue as he took his hand away. That tiniest touch of his thick, calloused finger against an intimate and sensitive part of yourself made your brow briefly furrow and that deep clench of your sex to take over your body again. You closed your mouth around the wafer that you believed to be the actual flesh of your Savior and your gaze remained on the man granting you that sacrament. You watched his lip twitch ever so slightly as, without taking those dark, burning brown eyes form yours, he took the chalice he was handed and held it before you.

“The blood of Christ,” he said, you could hear that lilt again, like he was mocking not only you but God himself as he held that chalice out.

“Amen,” you said and he brought the chalice to your mouth, tilting it back while cupping his hand under your chin in case it spilled over. The proximity of his hand to your chin buzzed something in you. Your eyes remained on him and his eyebrows raised slightly as he fed you the Blood of Christ. When he removed the chalice from your lips, a droplet of the wine dribbled out of the corner of your mouth. You were about to reach up and wipe it when his thumb beat you to it. In one quick motion, he swiped it away, the calloused thumb leaving a trail of heat on your face. You felt him tear his eyes away from you like a punch to the gut and you knew you had to continue on. You made the sign of the cross on yourself, collected every ounce of strength you had and got up from the altar rail. You could feel your slick soaking your underwear, and wetting your thighs as you walked. You knew you had to beg for forgiveness and the only place to do that was Confession.

You knew you had to confess. You hadn’t been able to resist your carnal desires, once you had returned to your apartment after mass on Sunday you had tried your hardest to relieve that mounting pressure between your thighs. You had delicately stroked your folds and experimented with pace and tried to find a rhythm that would relieve you but as if as punishment, you couldn’t. Now, you needed to confess and to make matters worse, the only person you could confess to was Father Miller. You came to confession on a Friday night after school had let out. The hours for confession were set and you knew he would be in the confessional, waiting for perishoners.

Friday was usually silent at the church, the staff had left for the weekend and most people didn’t confess on a Friday. You walked into the church and down the side aisle to where the confessional was. It was tucked into the side aisle just in front of the very altar rail you had knelt at and drenched your underwear earlier in the week. Your cheeks were bright red as you stepped into the booth and knelt down in front of the partition, there was a screen between you and him but you knew he was there. The smell of him lingered all around you. Tobacco, mint and the acrid metallic scent…what could that be? If you had to guess you’d say gunpowder but that made no sense to you. Your body reacted to his scent as if you were being touched by him again, your body clenched and your heart skipped a beat.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was…” You actually had to think about it for a moment, you had confessed at your church in college but that was over a year ago…was that the last time you had confessed? “Over a year ago,” You mumbled. You paused, unsure if you should just start or if he would say something else.

“What are your sins, Cherub?” He knew it was you. He’d never say that to someone else. It would have been, “My child”. But no, cherub. You were taken aback by this breach in protocol and you didn’t speak for so long he cleared his throat, “We ain’t gettin’ any younger.” He said. “And your sins aint any closer to absolved,” You needed to speak and speak now, to get all this off of your chest so you could lay it to rest and forget it.

“I’ve…been plagued with unholy desires, Father.” You said. You could hear him shift in the box next to you and you leaned your head forward, your forehead pressed to the screen separating you. “I’ve been having these intense…” Embarrassment made your cheeks flush, you fiddled with the hem of the skirt you wore today and you knew you had to keep going, “Sexual fantasies,” You blurted it out and you heard him let out a long, slow breath. “I can’t stop them but the thoughts are so intense…and wrong,” You said. You listened to his breathing while your own breathing quickened because the heady scent of him was doing something to you again. Your knees were aching from where they were pressed into the kneeler and your whole body felt tight and tense.

“You been actin’ on these…fantasies?” He asked. Acting on them? Did an aborted masturbation attempt count as acting on them? In the eyes of the Lord, yes. You needed to admit it to him.

“Yes, Father…I…I believe I have.” You said it even as you could feel that blooming, dripping heat fill your belly.

“You believe you have, huh?” He asked, that mocking lilt colored his voice and another shiver crawled up your spine. While the shiver might have been caused by something unholy, it certainly was a good shiver.

“I’ve touched myself because of these fantasies,” You admitted softly, your fingers still twisting the end of your skirt. “I was never able to…finish but it’s still a sin.” You told him taking a deep breath through your nose, you wondered if he was leaning in towards the screen too. You pulled your head back to look, you could see bits of him through the latticed wood that created the screen that was supposedly there to protect anonymity.

“Yea, Cherub, it sure is a sin.” He spoke and the words, his voice was like an injection of heat straight to your core. You had already practically leaked all over the altar rails at communion but now you were going to drip down your thighs in confession. “And I know what your penance should be,” he said. You let out a relieved breath, maybe if you did the penance you would be absolved and God would take the lust from your body.

“Yes, Father. What should I do?” You asked. You heard Joel lean forward now, his voice was closer to the screen and the seat he was on creaked slightly.

“You gotta reach your fingers under your skirt and touch yourself again, right here, right now.” His low voice sounded even more gravely than usual and the words burned through you.

“F-Father?” You questioned, unsure if this could be possible. Your brain was already addled with lust, and this felt wrong but the temptation was so strong.

“The only way we can absolve you of these sins is to complete them.” He insisted and you knew how wrong he was. Those shivers you felt were warnings of him. But how could you resist this? His voice was like a drug and that scent and the way you remembered the feeling of his fingers on your jaw, the pad of his thumb on your chin at communion, the ridge of his finger on the side of your tongue. “I want you to tell me just how wet you are, kneeling there before God,” Joel’s voice came to you through your lust filled fog and before you could think further you reached your hand up under your skirt and into your underwear. Your fingers immediately slipped over your soaked lips and you let out a gasp at the realization you had been soaking your underwear during the entirety of the confession.

“Father, it’s…so wet.” You gasped, you heard movement again from his side of the confessional, the rustle of clothing and maybe the clinking of a belt being adjusted.

“Get those knees nice and wide and stroke your lips for me,” Father Miller said, and you knew he was close to you leaned into the wood lattice screen. You could practically feel his breath. You did as you were told, kneeling a little wider and stroking your lips. You let out a squeak of pleasure, “Nice n’ slow, darlin’” His voice floated through the screen and your fingers slowly, painfully slow stroked along your puffy lips.

“Oh God,” The words were ripped from you as the tips of your delicate fingers grazed your clitorus and your whole body throbbed.

“Jus’ your lips, pretty girl, don’t touch that clit of yours.” The filth words coming from your priest's mouth only spurred you on. You wanted to ignore him and touch your clit again, but how had he known you had touched it in the first place? “Stroke down to your hole, cherub,” it was horribly disgusting and lewd to hear him talk like that but it still stoked a terrible fire inside you. You reached your hand farther down, sinking your butt back towards your feet as you knelt. Your finger found your entrance, the source of your wetness and you found yourself longing to push your finger into yourself. As if he heard your very thought Joel chuckled,

“Dont even think about fingerin’ yourself, little girl.” He said. A moan of desperation that matched any of the vulgarity he had spewed to you fell from your lips. “Tell me, cherub, is that a virgin cunt you’ve got over there? Or is there somethin’ else you need to be confessin’ to your Father?” he asked. Your fingers were tracing a circle around your soaked hole, trying to listen to him and not let your finger enter your body.

“I’m a virgin, Father. Please…” You didn’t know what you were asking for with that please but it felt appropriate. Once you said that, there was a rush of movement and then the door to your side of the confessional was thrown open and Father Miller stood in front of you. You nearly toppled over from where you were kneeling, your hand still shoved into your underwear. He made a tsking sound,

“Oh my little Virgin Mary,” his voice crawled up your spine like the shiver. “I’ve always known you were my good girl,” He reached down to where you were kneeling and wrapped his arm around your upper arm, pulling you up to stand. You gasped and he pulled you out of the confessional, his body moving your weight like it was nothing. His hand tightened on your arm as he pulled you into his body and then it dropped to around your waist and his mouth was on yours, kissing you. It was anything but a chaste kiss, his tongue lavished your mouth, circling yours while his arms wrapped around your waist keeping you locked against his broad, strong body. When he pulled away from you, you were gasping for breath and he let out a dark chuckle

“Oh, I am going to eat you up, Cherub.” It was a threat, but it made you pulse with need. Joel took your upper arms in his hands again, fingers digging in, “Let’s pray,” he said and he started to pull you over a few feet to the altar rail. In a sharp movement he pushed you down, bent at the waist over the rail, your feet pressed into the kneeler, you squealed in surprise,

“Father!” You managed to squeak out.

“Let’s see this pretty cunt that’s causin’ you such problems, sweetheart.” Joel growled and with one hand shoved your skirt up and then ripped your undies down, exposing your soaked pussy to him. You whimper in shame and embarrassment. You were so close to the holy altar, staring up at the crucifix while your most private part was exposed to Father Joel Miller. He let out a laugh, as his hand came up to your ass, he grabbed the meat of it, digging his fingers in and spreading it enough to expose more of your pussy to him.

“Ohhh there she is,” He breathed, he let out a low whistle, “So swollen, so wet.” The fingers of his other hand stroked down your wet lips and in response you spread your legs a little more. “Is that what you want, Cherub?” he asked. You nodded vigorously, completely lost in lust. Joel stroked along your lips up to your clit and he started to flick slow circles around it. Your moans started to echo as he worked you up. “That’s it, enjoy that sin, darlin,” he breathed, leaning over your back to whisper into your ear. You could feel his black button up pressed into your back while his fingers continued to circle around your clit, sending burning pleasure coursing through you.

“P-please!” You begged, letting yourself go completely to the need for more. “God! Please!” You cried.

“Please, what?” Joel asked into your ear, you could feel his stubble and mustache against your ear. His scent washed over you, intoxicating you further.

“Please, I want you inside of me, Father!” You cried, you hadn’t even realized that was what you would say when you opened your mouth but it came tumbling out anyway. His fingers moved from your clit to your entrance where you were clenching on nothing, your cunt was begging for it regardless of what you said. His middle finger circled around your hole, not entering you but noticing how tight you were. Joel pulled back enough to look down at your pussy again,

“You want me inside of your virgin pussy?” He asked, You nodded before letting your head hang down in shame, the shame of how much you needed it and how much you were willing to sacrifice for it. The temptation of him had been too much. You could feel his eyes on your fluttering sex while he started to ease his finger inside of you. He rocked his finger inside of you and you pressed yourself back against him.

“Oh cherub, I can see that you’re a virgin.” He said, those greedy, dark eyes on you, still, even now, sending shivers up your spine. His finger had barely made it halfway inside of you when he tugged his finger away. You gasped at the loss and pressed yourself back towards him.

“Father! No! Please!” You whined, wiggling your hips.

“If your virginity is gunna be mine, I sure as hell am gunna take it with my cock.” Joel’s molten voice sizzled inside of you and the realization washed over you that you weren’t going to try to stop him, and you were about to be filled with his cock right here in the middle of the church. You heard the buckle of his belt and the shift of clothes, still leaned over the altar railing, legs spread wide, ready to for him to fully know you.

Joel watched your pussy as he notched his thick cock against your hole, your inner lips were parting for him waiting for your cunt to accept him.

“Joel,” you gasped his name for the first time as you fully understood what was about to happen. “Is it going to hurt?”You asked.

“Well it ain’t goin’ to be a walk in the park at first, Cherub.” He said, and you could feel how thick his cock head felt at your entrance“But I think she’ll open up for me,” his voice had that mocking lilt to it again. Before you could say anything else he had started to push into you and the stretch was so much that the breath was completely knocked out of you. You lurched forward as his hips rocked into you.

“Oh, that looks so good…pretty cunt splittin’ open for me.” He said and you knew he was watching the place where your bodies connected. He pressed himself forward again, forcing his way inside of you, making a spot for his thick cock in your tight hole. You let out a whine and he gripped your hips tugging you back more. “Atta girl, you’re takin’ my cock so well. This pussy was made for me, wasn’t it?” he asked and all you could manage was a garbled moan in response. It did hurt some as he continued to ease himself in inch by thick inch but you were also completely drenched with slick that it was decently quick work to ease you open.

“Father! Oh, its…so big!” You pressed your hips back, hoping to open yourself more to him. When he was fully sheathed inside of you, he was still for so long that you felt like you might go crazy with the need for friction. “Please…father…fuck me.” You gasped and that seemed to spur Joel on, he started to pull his cock back before shoving it back in, setting a brutal pace. Joels breath started to grow ragged with his own pleasure,

“Is that what you want, little girl?” He asked as his hips snapped forward to fill you over and over. “You want my cock to fuck you?” He asked. You nodded, still dazed.

“I wanna hear you, Cherub. Confess to me, what do you want?” Joel bent forward over you, one hand snaking around you and grabbing your throat , fingers pressing into your jaw. You moaned, unable to form a proper sentence as he pulled you back by your neck, making you look up at the altar in front of you. “Come on, let‘s hear that confession,” he said as his cock ruthlessly pummeled against your cervix, splitting you open more and more with each thrust. His other hand, the one not forcing you to look at the image of your savior, trailed down your belly and underneath your skirt. His middle finger found your clit, stroking it in those quick, flicking circles. Your body tensed against the feeling, tightening around his cock. He groaned into your cheek while he held you up with his hand on your neck. “Come on, tell me you want me to fuck your pretty little cunt.” He said.

“Yes, yes, yes!” You cried, your eyes blurring with tears as you admitted it in front of him, and God all the same. “Yes, I want your cock to fuck me and I want to come!” You cried.

“You want to come?” He asked, “Is that it, Cherub? You wanna come while confessin’ your sins right here in front of the holy altar?” his voice was strained and you could feel his thrusts becoming messier, harder as he chased his own orgasm.

“Yes! Father! Please!” his finger stroked across your clit.

“Come on my cock, Cherub. Let go for me,” He spoke the word into her cheek, your head turned to the side, leaning back into him. Your orgasm burst over you like white light, heat and shivers down your spine. He stroked your clit through it while his hips pumped his thick cock in and out of you, pulling mewls of pleasure out of. Your eyes opened and you watched the statue of the Virgin Mary while his cock pummeled your cervix and he released ropes of his hot spend inside of you. He groaned into your cheek, your body still back against him. Joel’s teeth caught your jaw, biting you briefly.

As your breathing settled a little, Father Joel Miller pulled himself out of you. You felt his eyes on your completely destroyed pussy and his fingers briefly stroked at your entrance, gathering a generous amount of his sticky come onto his fingers before he lifted your underwear for you, covering you again.

“Turn around, Cherub.” he instructed and you did, your face burning with the shame of what had just happened. Joel grabbed your jaw with one of his hands, “Open,” he said and you did what you were told, your tongue pressed out just a tiny bit, resting against your bottom lip. He brought the finger coated in his come that had been dripping out of you to your tongue and swiped across it. The salty, heady taste mixed with the scent of Father Joel Miller, Tobacco, mint, fresh sweat and the acrid burning metallic gunpowder smell. Shivers ran up and down your spine as you stood in front of the holy altar, bleary eyed and red cheeked.

“God the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #priest!joel #smut #pedro pascal #writing

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cuubism · 1 month ago

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I REALLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYY LOVE YOUR BELOVED PROFESSOR DREAM FIC!!!!!!!! PEOPLE TEND TO FORGET THAT!!! EVEN IN CANON!!!! HES FULL OF LOVE!!!! AND PASSION!!! AND HE CARES SO MUCH IT LITERALLY DOOMS HIM!!!!! AND IF ONLY HES BEING GIVEN A MUCH MORE KINDER CIRCUMSTANCES!! HE WOULD BEHAVES EXACTLY LIKE YOUR FIC!!! I FEEL SO CRAZT!!!! PLEASE NEVER DIE I LOVE YPUR WORKS SO MUCH!!!

I've grown quite fond of him myself �� @five-and-dimes and I discussed him at length and created more lore for him. It was determined that Dream's earnest whimsy probably got him bullied a lot when he was younger. Not since he met Hob though.... it's probably a coincidence 🤷‍♀️ surely everyone just realized the error of their ways and decided to grow up and be kinder! Dream knew it would happen some day :)

Dream is still reeling as he reaches the cafe where he's meant to get afternoon coffee with Hob. He feels a bit shaky, but happy. Joyful. In disbelief.

When Cori had cornered him after class, Dream had been sure he was going to shove him up against a wall, or throw his books on the ground, or any of the other number of things he seemed to get satisfaction out of doing. He'd clutched his books tight, bracing himself.

Instead, Cori had, with halting, uncomfortable words, apologized to him. Actually apologized! Dream had been wary at first, sure it was just another way to hurt his feelings--he's been called gullible many times and he knows there's truth to it--but Cori hadn't taken it back, or suddenly turned on him again like he had every other time Dream had tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. He seemed genuine.

It was what Dream had always wanted, what he had always hoped for, so decided to take it and just pray that Cori wouldn't change his mind again in the future. Or trip him as he walked away.

He didn't, though. And as Dream left to walk to his next class, he couldn't help but feel victorious. He knew he would get through to him eventually! He'd always known that eventually people would grow out of their juvenile pranks and learn to treat others better. And finally it was starting to happen.

None of the other usual suspects bothered him that day, either. Nobody tried to trip him, or snickered when he said something overly sentimental in class. It was like overnight the world had woken up and decided to better itself. It was magical.

So he's still shaking a bit when he sits down across from Hob, who's already gotten him his mocha latte. When he doesn't say anything at first, just takes several long sips of his drink, Hob nudges his leg under the table.

"Everything alright?"

"Cori," Dream says, "apologized to me."

He must have milk foam on his lip, for Hob reaches across the table to wipe it away with his thumb, lingering on the corner of Dream's mouth. "Did he?"

Dream nods. "It- it did not seem to be a joke. Hob, I think he actually learned."

Hob smiles sweetly. "That's great, honey."

"Nobody tripped me today," Dream muses. "Or made fun of what I said in class. I cannot believe it. I knew that eventually people would grow up and learn how to treat others kindly, but it's startling to see it happen in real time."

"They must have learned from your example," Hob says. He takes Dream's hand on the table and starts playing idly with his fingers. Hob is very touchy-feely with him, always holding his hand, or playing with his fingers like they're a fidget toy, or petting his hair while they're lying in bed together. Dream found it strange at first. He was used to others he had attempted to date wanting to rough him up a little. When he questioned it, they would say, with a laugh, you're just too sheltered. Dream didn't think he was, particularly, he just didn't understand wanting to push someone around. At least not without finding out if they even liked it.

When Dream mentioned it, Hob had said, with a grimace, that Dream's kindness could be misinterpreted as innocence, and it made people want to 'corrupt him.' Dream didn't get it, but there were a lot of things he 'didn't get', at least according to other people. In any case, Hob didn't do that, because he knew Dream didn't like it, so Dream is content now. And he has Hob to at least attempt to interpret other people's odd behavior for him.

"I hope it sticks," he says, worriedly. "I would hate for Cori and the others to backslide now that they're finally making progress."

"Oh, don't worry," Hob says, bringing Dream's hand to his lips and kissing his knuckles. He looks at Dream over their joined hands, gaze absolutely sure, a look that never fails to make Dream shiver pleasantly when it's directed at him. "I think it'll stick."

#dream: i'm so happy the world is becoming kinder :)#hob leaning over his shoulder holding a knife and glaring at anyone they meet: yeah honey it's nice!#really this ficlet is about the pain of always taking people at their word and being tricked again and again. and just being told 'you #shouldn't be so gullible' or 'youre too naive you can't trust people like that' etc #dream IS kind of naive but instead of telling him not to be hob is like 'if anyone messes with his good and trusting nature i WILL actually #kill you :)' he loves his bf who is so kind and just wants to see the best in people #i think dream might figure out what happened eventually but not for like 10 years 😂#dreamling #ask #anonymous #my writing

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starlightsearches · 2 years ago

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Yes, absolutely! So. Eddie x FemReader. They are best friends and have this special bond but all of a sudden Eddie pushes her aside for another girl he's dating or is interested in, letting her sit in the reader's seat, canceling traditions of years like movie night, etc. But somehow he wakes up and realizes he has been an ass to her (maybe because he actually wanted to get over his own feelings for her) but the reader isn't so quick to let it all go - she wants him to prove how sorry he is!

Jealousy, Jealousy

📼✨ mixtape milestone ✨📼 requests are open!

thanks for the request, bestie! and an even bigger thanks for your patience 😬 i hope you enjoy!

Eddie Munson x Fem! Reader

Comments likes and reblogs are always appreciated, let me know what you think 💖

Warnings: mostly just language and a little drama and angst and then fluff I think but let me know if I missed anything. I've always wanted to play around with POV switches like this, which is probably why it's taken me so long to finish this one 🙄

You're fuming in the front seat.

Eddie keeps his eyes on the road—more than he probably ever has while driving—afraid that if he even glances in your direction all the smoke you're letting off will start to fog up the windshield. Like he's driving around with a forest fire in his van.

"Listen," he says, even though he's not sure what's going to come after, "it's not even a big deal."

They're the first words out of his mouth since he told you, and they're definitely the wrong ones. Your eyes flash, smoldering at the center like cigarette ends.

Your look may be fire, but your voice is all ice.

"To you."

"What?"

"It's not that big of a deal to you, Eddie," you tell him, shifting against the dirty leather seat like you can't even stand to be near him, "but it is a big deal to me."

Valerie fucking Reed—just thinking her name has you seeing blood. Everything about her puts the wrath of god in you, from the fake-ass pitch of her voice to the way she flips her hair over her shoulder whenever she thinks she's said something clever.

You'd hated her from the moment you'd met her, after the painfully cliche the freaks sit over there cafeteria routine she'd put on for you your very first day in Hawkins. You were more prepared for that shit now—had educated yourself in the art of biting comebacks and fought only with words even when you wanted nothing more than to bash her head into the linoleum tile.

But at a brand new school when you were desperate to make friends? Absolutely devastating.

If you were held at gunpoint and forced to say one honest, nice thing about her, there'd only be one you could offer up: it was her fault you'd met Eddie. With tears still stinging in your eyes, you'd carried your lunch tray in the direction of her pointed finger, falling into the nearest empty chair and tucking your chin into your chest so no one would see you cry.

That was when Eddie swooped in, big doe eyes and denim vest rattling with pins, and a thousand stupid jokes—not exactly a knight in shining armor but you'd never wanted one of those anyway.

Now Valerie wants to take him away from you, too.

Eddie drums his hands on the wheel, fidgeting with the volume on the tape he'd let you choose to soften the blow. He let's Fleetwood Mac fill the empty space between you, all the words he should say replaced with Stevie's soft vocals.

He's not used to fighting with you. Your friendship has always been as easy as breathing—except when it's not.

. . . But you really can't be blamed for that. It's not your fault he feels all weird inside every time you smile.

He wishes you'd smile at him now.

"You know," you say, feet planted on his dash and your chair pushed all the way back, "I didn't say shit when you started ditching me at lunch to deal to her and her friends, or when you skipped on movie nights for all those parties she threw because I get why you had to go, but a fucking date?"

"She just needs a place to smoke . . ." Eddie mumbles, skin hot at the word date.

You roll your eyes with enough bite he actually feels the sting.

"Right. She just needs to get high with you at your place, because she has nowhere else to go.”

Your lips drip with venomous sarcasm—absolutely soaked through with the belief that he couldn't possibly sit in the same room as Valerie and not touch her.

Do you really have so little faith in him? Eddie's got way more self-control than either of you would give him credit for. There's never been a moment he hasn't wanted his hands on you, and he's alone with you all the time.

“Come on,” he says, swallowing so his voice won't crack, “we do that.”

“It’s different," you snap back quickly.

Yeah it fucking is, he thinks, but Eddie doesn't say a word. Maybe the silence will speak for itself—or maybe it could, if you'd let it.

You carve a frustrated hand through your hair, staring him down. “Like, how do you think it would feel for you if I went out with fucking Jason Carver?"

He resists the urge to gag. "It's not like that."

It's really not like that. Just the thought of it has Eddie feeling both sick and violent, unsure if he was more likely to throw a punch or throw up.

He takes the turn into your driveway, watching you collect your stuff with a brutal speed.

"Yes it is, Eddie," you tell him as you slide from your seat before he's even fully hit the breaks, "actually, it's worse. Because Jason is a dick to everybody, and Valerie's got some fucking target on my back. I wouldn't be surprised if this was all part of some evil plan of hers to make me jealous because—"

You cut yourself off immediately, words stoppered by some invisible dam, eyes wide. Eddie's body goes cold when you slam the door without saying goodbye, stomping off to your doorstep.

He scrambles for his seat belt, practically falling out of the van in attempt to catch up to you before you get inside.

"Wait a second," Eddie says, holding the door open with his hand and trying to catch his breath, "why would that make you jealous?"

You scuff the toe of your boot against the step. "Nothing, it's stupid."

Eddie raises a brow, but you can’t look at his big, brown, beautiful eyes right now, tracing down along his leather sleeve to where his hand is planted against the door, black-painted nails splayed wide and already chipping, although you only did them a few nights ago.

Rude that the only time you get to hold him is when you're doing him a favor.

"Stupid how?" he asks.

You shrug. "I dunno . . . she just thinks I have a crush on you or something."

It's a surprise he hadn't already heard; about half of the girl's locker room were still stripping out of their gym clothes when Valerie had to bring everybody's attention to your black lace bra, before sharing a few theories on who you were wearing it for.

"Like I said, stupid." You ignore the heat in your cheeks, gripping the door again and trying to force it shut, but Eddie's not finished.

You wouldn’t notice, but his chest is heaving under his black t-shirt, palm sweating against the door. A crush? On him?

Is Valerie as delusional as he is?

"Wait," —his mouth is on a roll before his brain has caught up— "do- do you?"

Your eyes go wide with surprise, and then shrink into slits as you push him back from the door, one hot hand planted against his chest.

"Fuck you, Eddie," —he catches the words just before the slam— "fuck you for real."

It wasn't a no.

He repeats the words in his mind like he’s casting a protection spell. Like it’s some kind of ward against your anger as he scales the tree outside your window.

It’s harder than it looks, and he’s already making it look pretty difficult—but one hand’s busy clinging to the greasy paper bag packed full with burgers and those crispy tater tots you love. He manages to wiggle his way up to your window sill without losing his pants, even though the tears at his knees got caught on every twig and branch he passed.

Eddie steals a glance of you through the sheer curtains, holding back his fist from knocking. Just so he can look at you properly, without all the static of having you look back.

You're stretched out on your bed, feet in the air and headphones caught over your ears while you flip through the pages of a book. He hasn't seen these pajamas before—the little shorts that just cup the edge of your ass, and a sheer tank top. His nails are leaving little indents in his palm.

Eddie hasn't made a sound, but with the way his eyes are tracing over you, you gotta feel it. You find him at the window, and he panics, rapping his knuckles against the glass a second too late.

You roll you eyes at him, but at least you let him in.

There are honest-to-god butterflies in Eddie's stomach when he flops beside you on the bed. And he wouldn't lie—at least not to himself—but he'd tried to feel something like this before, when Valerie first started paying all that attention to him.

Her manicured hand would brush over the sleeve of his jacket while he'd be getting her product and he'd wait for this same feeling, hoping he had a weakness for all pretty girls, that any attention would him stumbling over his words and these feelings didn't have to be the end of the best friendship he'd ever had.

But it's you.

You cross your arms over your chest, frowning. "What are you doing here?"

Eddie's smile is sheepish, but not nearly apologetic enough for your taste. He holds up the paper bag in his hand, dotted with dark splotches where the grease leaked through. It lets out the heavenly scent of fried food.

"I brought dinner, you know, for movie night."

He slips a tray of tater tots from the bag, and you're resolve falters. You hold back your hand from reaching for one even though you already know how incredible it would taste, the little rivulets of salt and shining grease coating the golden skin.

"What about Valerie?" you ask, stealing your eyes away from the junk food. You hate how petulant your voice sounds.

He just shrugs, pouring out some ketchup onto the tray, licking the excess off of his pinky finger. "Told her I had other plans."

Eddie pops a tater tot into his mouth and bites down with a heavy crunch, but it feels like your heart's the thing being popped between his teeth.

And what more were you expecting? That he'd tell her to fuck off and take her money and friends with her? She's the queen of Hawkins, and you're . . . not.

Maybe you and Eddie are both delusional—or stubborn—enough to pretend like you don't care about the politics of high school, but people had abandoned their morals for less.

“So you blew both of us off, then?”

He pauses mid-bite, like a prey animal, like if he doesn’t move you can’t be mad at him.

“What?” he mumbles through a mouthful of chewed-up potatoes.

You snatch a tater tot from the tray, chewing and swallowing even though your stomach is starting to churn because something bad is going to happen and you can feel it coming like a storm in the air.

“Why are you here, Eddie?”

“I- uh, to say sorry,” he stutters.

The food's getting cold in his hands before you respond.

“What’re you sorry for?”

What’s he sorry for? Eddie has a whole list: sorry for making a fool of myself, sorry for hanging out with Valerie because I thought it might make you jealous, sorry sorry sorry for trying so hard to get over you and doing such a bad job at it.

“I, you know . . . I shouldn’t have made other plans on movie night.”

Those were the wrong words again. Crazy how easy it is for him to fuck this up—like it was something he was born with.

For a second, Eddie thinks you'll yell at him, and he's comforted by that. If you yell at him, you still care.

You take in a deep breath, and Eddie braces himself. He can take whatever you give him, will shoulder any insults you hurl and forgive you for it the second it's over.

But your shoulders slump. You let out a heavy sigh.

And he knows he can't take that.

"I'm really, really tired, Eddie," —you won't even look him in the eyes when you say it, sliding the window open again,—"see you tomorrow?"

But Eddie doesn't see you for two whole days.

That's a fucking record.

He thought you might need space, you know. So he gave you Saturday to cool off, kicked around at the trailer and gave Wayne vague answers about why you weren't around and ignoring the look in the old man's eyes. Listening to sad records and getting high and trying not to stare at your smile in all the photos plastered on his wall.

Sunday, Eddie drove by your house with the volume all the way up on your favorite Rolling Stones album, windows down while he idled at the curb. There was a twitch in the curtains, but you weren't there to shout at him for all the noise before climbing in on the passenger side.

Eddie knocked at your door this morning, hoping at least you’d want a ride to school. Your mom opened it with a sad little frown, telling him you’d already taken your bike.

And really, the two days have only ended on a technicality. Eddie sees you right now, reading a book with your head bent low, sitting at the far end of another table.

"Hey—" Eddie twitches when the flying french fry lands against his cheek with a wet slap— "are you gonna go talk to her, or did you just wanna stare?"

Mike laughs at his own joke, and the other guys giggles along.

Eddie's used to the ribbing. He's never minded it—when you're not around. Kind of enjoyed it a little. Even with his heated cheeks and stammered shut ups that completely gave him away, he needed somebody to acknowledge what he was feeling. It made it more real.

But Eddie's not in the mood for jokes today. And he doesn't need anybody to remind him that he's in way over his head with you.

He shoots the freshmen a look that works just as well as throwing a hand over their mouths—without the risk of being licked—and brushes the potato chunks from his hair while the rest of Hellfire pick timidly at their lunches.

And Eddie goes back to staring.

This time, though, you're staring back.

He meets your eyes. Just for a second, wide with surprise before you snap your head back in the direction of your book, tucking your nose between the pages. Doesn't matter how quick you were though. Eddie caught the look you were giving him.

And his heart is beating hard, like it did on the day he first met you. His limbs all staticky and weird, palms sweating because even from the first second he knew you existed he's wondered what kissing you would feel like and the question never left his head.

Eddie's on his feet before he can think about how bad of an idea this is.

"Hey," Dustin calls to him through a mouthful of square pizza, "what're you doing?"

Eddie just shrugs.

"Probably something stupid."

You can see Eddie's long legs moving in your direction from the corner of your eye, and your stomach drops out of your ass like a dip on a roller coaster in the dark and you can't see the end. He says something to the guys—his lips are moving—but you can't make it out over the sound of the cafeteria rumble, the chatter of the other girls sitting at the same table as you, talking animatedly about all the dates they went on over the weekend and completely ignoring your presence.

You dip your head closer to the pages of your book, so close all the words blur together, trying to hide from Eddie like you've been hiding the past few days. You shouldn't have even glanced in his direction, should have let the burn of his presence so close and still too far away swallow you up.

It’s getting hotter with every step he takes toward you, and you’re getting smaller, body tight and your lips caught between your teeth.

He slides quietly into the seat beside you, fingers drumming against the table, and the sound feels louder now that the girls have quieted down, not-so-sneakily listening in on whatever's about to go down between you and Eddie—hungry like sharks for any new gossip, ready to spread the nitty-gritty about why the freaks are fighting.

Eddie dips his head down, eyes big and already so sorry it feels like a punch to the gut.

"Hey," he whispers, trying to smile and failing miserably, "come here often?"

You try to smile back, but it's not much better. "Hey, Eds."

It's quiet, but not the comfortable kind of quiet you're used to around Eddie. It's a hot and sweaty quiet, a trapped-in-a-car kind of summer burn that makes your lungs go shallow.

Eddie perks up, the first words he can think of spilling out of his mouth.

"The guys were thinking about going to the record store after school. Would you wanna come?"

You wouldn't have thought for a second about refusing an invite like that a week ago. Heaven was nothing compared to wandering around a music store with Eddie.

"I don't know if I can today," you say instead, and then when you see the look of hurt on his face, you soften the blow with, "I gotta go to the library for some . . . stuff."

He hums. "Stuff?"

You shrug, playing with the pages of your book. If you're quiet enough, maybe he'll give up.

But he doesn't go anywhere. His hands stay planted on the table, silent and still for once. The black nail polish is almost completely chipped off his nails—probably picked off and littered all over the linoleum.

Eddie's voice is a whisper when he breaks the silence. "Are we gonna talk about it?"

"About what, Eds?"

"Why you're so mad at me . . ."

You've seen Eddie through a lot of shit, but you've never seen a look like this on him—eyes like saucers and brimming with shiny tears.

And you thought being in love with him was rough, but hurting him is a thousand times worse.

"I'm not mad at you, Eddie," you admit, hiding your eyes in the palms of your hands and pressing down until you see stars, "it's just . . ."

You don't get to finish your sentence.

Valerie's calling Eddie's name from across the whole fucking cafeteria. You watch her waving, standing on her tip-toes like she's not the only place in the room anybody can look, like every facet of her doesn't already scream give me attention!

Eddie sandwiches his lips together, pressing until they turn white. You're not going to like whatever he has to say next.

So you slip the dagger from his fingers, standing from the table. He can't hurt you if you hurt yourself first on his behalf.

"Actually, we can talk about this later," you tell him, slipping your bag on over your shoulder.

"Hey—"

There's sparks in your hand where he holds you, an eruption of butterflies in your stomach. It's just your hand in his, but that's all it takes for you to forget yourself, eyes caught on his soft mouth and pink tongue.

Valerie's approaching. You can see her stalking toward you over Eddie's shoulder. There's no room for vulnerability within a mile radius of her. You've got to get away before she sees all the softest parts of you exposed and decides to go for the jugular.

The door's within reach when the room goes quiet. Quiet enough Eddie doesn't even have to raise his voice when he says your name.

He's no stranger to standing on tables, but it's the first time you've seen him look so awkward, hands swinging at his sides in tight fists.

"I- I think I might be in love with you," Eddie says, "and I'm really, really sorry."

There's a chorus of ooooooooooohs from the audience, and maybe a few confused whispers from all the people who passively assumed you were already dating. Then all eyes are on you, waiting.

It's too fucking hot in this room, and your vision's starting to blur at the edges, feeling like you're on a stage and you can't remember the next line after Eddie's verbal punch to your gut.

You mumble a sound, falling backwards through the door and into the safety of the hallway.

Eddie's down off the table as soon as you disappear from the cafeteria, totally ignorant to the laughter and the jeers from all the dickheads watching.

Valerie's in his line of sight when he hits the ground.

"That was weird," she says, and Eddie can't tell if she's purposefully getting in his way, or if she's just got that aura of somebody who could tackle you to the ground but would never bother because she doesn't have to. "I mean I always knew she was a freak but—"

"Fuck off."

Eddie really would like to get into it more with her, maybe mention that he's been up-charging Valerie every time she mentioned your name, or that half the stuff he's been selling her was mixed with ten-year old spices from the cupboard above the oven.

There's more noise, but nobody else trying to get in his way, the path clear all the way to the door.

It's quiet in the hallway, and that alone leaves Eddie disoriented, swinging his head wildly, unsure which way you went.

"I'm down here."

You're on the floor a few feet away, head rested back against one of the lockers, and all of the bad shit goes away. It's that simple—like a light-switch—Eddie's panicked, and then he's not.

You're looking up at him with a soft kind of smile, despite the tight look in your eyes and sheen over your skin.

He slides down to the floor, long legs stretched out into the empty hall, shoes leaving little scuff marks across the linoleum.

"I'm sorry,"—you tell him as soon as he hits the ground, "about, you know. It was just, um, a lot."

"Don't be," he laughs, "that wasn't the smartest idea I've ever had."

The smartest idea he ever had was talking to you that first day, snatching you up before anybody else could.

Your tongue snakes out from between your lips, and Eddie has to physically hold himself back from tasting you. Your eyes dropped to his lap, your voice is small when you ask, "did you mean it?"

"Yeah, honey,"—probably should've kept the nickname to himself— "meant every word."

He's about to mumble something like, but if you don't feel the same it's totally fine, even though it definitely wouldn't be, when your head drops onto his shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know . . . just felt like a personal problem."

You laugh, and the sound shakes through him.

"I dunno, Eds. You being in love with me kinda sounds like something that I'd wanna know."

"I'll keep that in mind, for next time," he whispers. You're looking up at him with those big, soft eyes, breath pillowing against his face.

"It's the same for me," you tell him, "in case you were wondering."

In all the time Eddie's thought about kissing you, he never imagined it happening like this—on the floor with somebody's combination lock digging into his back. With your hands in his hair and the dull roar of the lunchroom somewhere nearby and his thumb tracing along your jaw and you smiling against his lips.

He was definitely missing out.

There's the metal clank of the door, and a chorus of footsteps somewhere down the hall. Eddie recognizes Dustin's voice.

"Oh my god, dude. Fucking finally."

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson angst #eddie munson #requests #my writing #eddie munson fluff

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biancadoes1 · 3 months ago

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Hi. I'm actually bringing you an ask that refers to L/N. Is it possible that there is picture proof that they are actually together, as in a relationship and Deuxmoi has it, but since it doesn't fit her lying ways, she's not going to reveal it? She still wants to push the wrong stories, it seems. But do you think actual proof of Luke and Nicola exist? After all this time, we still don't have any pics or anything? I find that hard to believe. To quote The X Files, " the truth is out there" but who has that truth? Or are they just that good at hiding it?

Someone, somewhere, has something and they're sitting on it.

Now, we can't say this for certain but if the theory that Luke has been back with Nicola since he got home from Sorrento, that's over three months ago, then there's pictures out there. That's a LONG time to be able to sneak around and not get recognized anywhere.

Does DM have anything? I've thought about this quite a lot. Would DM continue their bullshit narrative if they are in possession of evidence of the two of them together?

I think a lot of people would say no but I think deals were made, money exchanged hands and someone really has it out for Nic. That's what it feels like anyway because who does DM mostly talk about in this situation?

It's certainly not Luke and Antonia and the six month old papgate pics she still throws out like it's not a joke at this point.

But if they don't have anything? If no one has anything?

NINJAS.

I think if DM has anything they're keeping it under wraps so they can play out their shitty little narrative. They definitely know more than they let on. But she makes mistakes, too. Big ones. Errors that some people aren't able to look past.

So all that to say, yes. I think there is proof out there. I hope it's not with DM though and it's a fan who is respecting their privacy.

Let's hope luck is on their side with that one.

#lukola #my opinions #my thoughts #speculation only #my theories

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dorylinae-supremacy · 1 year ago

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Thinking about an AU where Techno, Wilbur and Tommy are all the harbingers of the actual entire apocalypse and Phil (just some insane guy) decides that those are in fact his kids and starts gaslighting the absolute shit out of them about it.

Rambles under cut!

I wanna try something where they're just more insidious and passive killers than anything else, theyre mostly just biding their time and watching as wherever they're lingering around gets sicker and just starts withering away.

They're a slow moving threat that just can't be stopped and for some reason (because Kristin thinks its funny) Phil just isnt affected by them.

Phil: Oh Techno's always been like that ever since he was a baby Techno: I have literally never met you a day in my life Tommy: Idk man... you have always been like that Wilbur: Oh my death he's actually getting to us

Its a mix of that combined with that "how did he know I was a gemini" meme

Phil: Wil! I brought you some salmon, I know how much you love it! Wilbur: How the fuck did you know I like salmon Phil: I'm your dad silly, of course I'd know :-)

I just think itd be super fun since Phil in this au is literally just some insane dude. He literally lies about their entire childhood but does it so consistently and so realistically that it throws them off guard.

I also have a few ideas where they start referring to Phil as their dad in the beginning as a sarcastic / mocking thing but accidentally just getting themselves even more adopted as they do it.

Phil: Wilbur put on a coat Wilbur: I don't need one! Techno: Go on, Wil. Listen to dad Wilbur: Ugh fine. Only because dad wants it, though

Stranger: Whos this? Tommy: Oh thats our dad. He kinda just tags along Stranger: Aww thats so sweet! You got his nose and everything Tommy: I- wh- no he's not actually our da- Phil: I know he did! Isn't he the cutest, spitting image isnt he? Tommy: You're not my dad! Stranger: Oh someones embarrassed! Phil: Yeah he's going through a rebellious phase right now

Just a mixture of things like that where it starts as calling him it but then accidentally actually giving him parental authority along with that.

I also wanna explore how Kristin and Phils relationship would be like. Maybe her as death being very bemused by this silly human that just decided she was his wife one day.

She literally visits him in dreams and stuff and he just acts as if they're married and have been for years. He complains about their 'rambunctious kids' and how he has to threaten them with her so that they behave sometimes. She finds it so silly and just cant help but play pretend.

Kristin: Hello, human Phil: My love! Its been so long since I've seen you Kristin: We've never met Phil: Oh don't say that! It hasnt been that long. I've just been far too occupied with our boys to visit too much Kristin: Our boys? I made them Phil: And they came out beautiful! I'm so glad Wil and Tech got your eyes. I was hoping they would.

I think that'd be a core part of this AU as well. Everyone is playing pretend but then it just fuzzies and it all becomes real for them. At first its a joke that Phil is her husband and their father but then they get lost in the fantasy and fun of it all and actually accept him as such.

Phil has no ulterior motives either, he's literally just a strange insane man that heard stories about neotrio and started thinking they were his kids one day. He genuinely believes his delusion and they end up accidentally making it a reality.

He just makes lucky guesses and plausible lies often enough that he's still shiny and new, he's still fun to play with and thats what ends up 'tricking' them all.

#dory writes #harbingers AU #dark sleepy bois inc #dark sbi

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ophidianoccultist · 1 year ago

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Admittance

Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader

18+ MDNI

Tags: first time, cluelessness, p in v, some angst if you squint?, interruption, oral (f receiving), choking/leash?

Word Count: 8.3k

"Ah, there you are." Sebastian said.

His face bore the usual composed smile, and his short, brown, curly hair remained tousled atop his head. Freckles dotted his cheeks, while his deep brown eyes exuded arrogance and confidence. Y/N looked up from her Herbology book at her best friend, Sebastian. The two had been friends since their fifth year, and here they were now, going to gradute this year.

Sebastian looked tired and a tad sweaty, appearing as if he had run down every flight of stairs in the whole of Hogwarts. And apparently, he had been searching for her. And here she was in the library, studying for her Herbology exam. Why had he not thought to look here first?

"Are you alright? You look dreadful."

Y/N bookmarked her page and closed the textbook, looking up at her freckled friend.

"I've been trying to find you," he said, his voice tinged with exhaustion. He sat in the seat next to her, looking somewhat dejected and out of place.

"I have something very important to tell you."

His deep brown eyes gazed intently into Y/N's, his expression a strange mix of nervousness and confidence. Her brows furrowed slightly at the urgency in his voice. Oh Merlin, had he been out on some ludicrous errand again?

"Yes, I'm listening. What is it, Seb?"

She turned her body to face him, giving him her full attention. Sebastian took a deep breath and looked down for a moment, before meeting Y/N's eyes and finally saying the words he had rehearsed in his head over and over again.

"Y/N, I've been meaning to tell you this for a very, very long time. Since fifth year, in fact. But I could never find the courage..."

He seemed to be struggling to keep his emotions in check, and his voice was shaking slightly.

"...I'm in love with you."

Both of their faces flushed a deep shade of crimson as she stared at him with a dazed expression. No... He doesn't really like me, right? Did someone put him up to this?

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me."

He was quiet for a moment, the silence broken only by his shallow breathing. His gaze remained locked on Y/N's, his eyes filled with a mixture of hope and fear, like a soldier preparing for battle. After a few moments of painful tension, he spoke again:

"I know we've been friends for a while," he said, "but I was too shy to express my feelings before. Maybe I still am."

He paused again, looking for some response from Y/N. She blinked a few times before she actually processed his words, and then she flushed a deep cherry red. This wasn't a joke, she knew he would never play around with her feelings like that. Sebastian was silly, sure, but he's not mean.

"O-Oh, well... I, um..."

Her hands started fiddling with the collar of her shirt as she always did when she was nervous.

"Look, if you don't feel the same way, that's..."

His voice trailed off, his expression now a mixture of embarrassment and hope.

"It's fine, I would understand..."

After a long pause, he finished his thought.

"But I was too scared to say anything before. And I know I should've probably just kept those feelings to myself, but I couldn't help it."

He looked down again and took a deep breath, waiting for Y/N's answer. It was now or never, she had to tell him. The anger in her was quickly rising though; why did he have to admit this now of all times? She had felt this way about him for ages, and thought he didn't see her the same way.

"Sebastian, why didn't you tell me earlier on? Right when I start to move on, you come out with this and make me confused all over again."

Y/N's voice raised a little, but her tone was more exasperated than accusatory. Sebastian looked surprised at her forcefulness, her words a total shock to him.

"Wait, you've...you've liked me?" he asked.

He could feel his heart leaping in his chest.

"I thought you were already over me..."

His voice was filled with both hope and confusion.

"Are you not?"

"Not completely, I still have feelings for you, but..."

All Y/N would like to do at this very moment is just have a Graphorn bite her head off. It was hard telling him this, but he needed to know...

"I've already begun pursuing someone else? We aren't together, just flirting, but that's the situation."

A wave of sadness washed over Sebastian's face as he listened to her words.

"Oh... I understand."

His voice was quiet and somber, his gaze cast down towards his feet.

"I-I hope you'll be happy, Y/N."

He was clearly devastated, but his tone remained calm and collected. He paused for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek before looking back up at her.

"But what if it doesn't work out...?"

A sigh escaped Y/N's lips, not enjoying being put on the spot like this.

"Sebastian, I don't know who to pursue now. I really like you, but I'm beginning to really like him too. I just..."

Y/N trailed off, burying her face in her hands, wanting to simply disappear and not have this conversation at all. Yet Sebastian reached out and gently took her hands in his own all the same, rubbing her palms with his thumbs in an effort to comfort her.

"Look at me," he said.

He tilted Y/N's head up so that he could look at her eyes.

"Please listen. We've known each other since fifth year; we like the same things, we're best friends... I know you think you like...him, but if you could be with the one you already know and trust, wouldn't you choose that over some new fling?"

He paused for a few seconds, contemplating his next words carefully. He felt emasculated and slightly manipulative saying these things, but as he looked into her eyes, all of those feelings were put on the back burner.

"Please... choose me."

"Can we speak somewhere a little more private? I always feel listened to in here, and not in the good way..."

Her eyes met the bright green eyes of Garreth Weasley, who was the boy she had been pursuing. He shot her a silly smile laced with worry, and it was all she could do to not giggle at him. Y/N turned back to Sebastian and asked:

"We could go to the Undercroft? Or the Room of Requirement? So we can discuss this?"

"Yes, of course."

He squeezed her hand and gave it a little kiss before letting go. Sebastian rose from his seat and held out his hand, gesturing for Y/N to take it.

"Shall we go?"

Hesitantly, she grabbed a hold of his wrist and allowed him to lead her to wherever he was taking her.

"Of course, lead the way."

Even though she was wary of the conversation, Y/N felt a little warmth spread through her body upon touching him. All of the blood rushed to her face as he held her hand and she took a real look at him. Sure, he was cute in his fifth year, but over the past couple of years, he had grown taller so he nearly towered over her. He had filled out a lot better as well, and she could confidently say that he looked handsome. Sebastian slowly led Y/N out of the library, turning to face her as they headed down the corridor. He smiled warmly at her, his amber eyes shining with a glimmer of hope. Sebastian looked back behing him where Y/N was trailing along and took note of her increased height and curves, the flush of her cheeks, and the way her hair moved in the light breeze.

Y/N was far more attractive than she had been at the start of fifth year, and Sebastian's feelings for her were only growing as they headed towards their destination. After a bit of walking and a couple of flights of stairs, they soon found themselves at the Undercroft, which was the place the both of them and Ominis went when they needed to be alone. Although now that she was cured, Anne joined them down there too at times. The gate closed behind them, and Y/N sat down on the slightly dusty sofa in the cold stone room.

"So..."

Sebastian sat down beside her, looking her in the eyes.

"Yeah. So..."

Y/N could see the faint sparkle of tears in his eyes. Sebastian was clearly on the edge, and he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"Look, I know you like the other guy. But the truth is, I don't know if I can handle watching you spend that kind of time with him."

He paused for a moment to take a breath and get his thoughts properly aligned, then continued.

"All that time spent together... I don't just want you as my friend."

An uncomfortable and heavy silence weighed over the pair like a cold, wet blanket. It was only Y/N's words that cut through it.

"I feel the same way about you, Sebastian."

Bravely, she scooted a bit closer to him, their knees brushing together, and she noticed Sebastian tense up at the miniscule touch. Just how much did he really feel for her? Sebastian drew in a sharp breath as he felt her body brush against his own. He was speechless for a moment, trying desperately to process his own emotions and feelings.

"You... you like me?"

Sebastian's head was whirring with questions and he felt confused.

"But what about Garreth... I mean, I saw you together... "

"Let me deal with Garreth, okay? I'll wean him off the flirting, we haven't even admitted any feelings to each other, we were only flirtatious. He's sweet and a good friend, and I don't want to lose him."

Y/N took a deep breath as she saw Sebastian's eyes darken at her calling Garreth 'sweet'.

"Look, I want to make this work between us. I really do like you, Seb, and I have for ages..."

Her head settled on his left shoulder and she grabbed his hand in both of hers, the tangle of them resting on her right thigh. Sebastian was taken aback when Y/N placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her hands around his. Her actions gave him the sudden urge to pull her close and kiss her right then and there. He felt overwhelmed by a wave of emotions and sensations, trying his best to keep his composure. He looked over, their faces only inches apart.

"Then what's stopping us...?"

Y/N could feel the rapid beating of his heart, his deep breaths brushing against the skin of her neck each time he leabed in to whisper into her ear. He cleared his throat and continued:

"What are we waiting for?"

"I..."

A proper sentence or even syllable couldn't even escape her lips. After all, Sebastian was right. What was stopping them from giving in to each other? Yet Y/N was still hesitant. She'd only ever kissed one person, but that was Leander Prewett in their second year; it was awkward and only lasted a moment or two.

Her head rose from his shoulder to stare back into his beautiful brown eyes. It would only take a slight push to close the gap between them, with how close they were to each other. Y/N parted her lips slightly, waiting for him to move in and close the gap for her. Sebastian held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity. His heart was racing so fast, he thought it would jump out of his chest altogether. He knew he shouldn't hesitate, but for some reason he felt scared, like a diricawl in a poacher's crosshairs. He took a deep breath, gathered all of his courage, and finally did it.

He moved his face towards Y/N's in one smooth motion and kissed her. It wasn't a peck on the cheeks or on the lips, but a full on kiss, filled with passion and emotion. That kiss was all Y/N needed to break down her inhibitions. Sebastian's lips were soft and slightly chapped, but the way they moved so well against her own, you'd think he had done this a thousand times before. One of her hands pried away from his to rest on his cheek, smooth and smattered with freckles. Her thumb stroked his face softly, but her whole body froze as his tongue grazed her lower lip. Sebastian's heart almost leapt out of his chest as his tongue was allowed to enter the equation. The soft caress of Y/N's thumb on his face and the heat building between their bodies felt amazing, and he desperately wanted more. He wanted to be touched, to be loved physically, to seal their feelings for each other with such an intimate act.

He slipped his arm behind Y/N's back and slowly pulled her closer, his tongue slowly caressing her lower lip once more before finally entering and tasting her mouth. His hands caressed the small of her back and he could feel his body heat up as they kissed.

"Oh..." he moaned quietly before continuing to kiss her passionately. Sebastian's mouth tasted like tea and mint, and it was intoxicating to her. His tongue explored her mouth, somewhat clumsily from inexperience. But as his hand found her hip, Y/N felt lightning jolt throughout her body, as if she had just had a hearty gulp of Pepper-Up Potion.

The chilly tension in the air was soon replaced with a hot and more pleasant tension. Sebastian's arms around her made her absolutely melt, and she hadn't felt a rush quite like this before. Sebastian's body was simply radiating with lust and desire. His hands roamed her body, squeezing her rear and sliding down her back to caress her hips. Every kiss was more passionate than the last, and he began to moan more and more between their kisses. He felt light-headed and dizzy, and the way his lover's soft lips caressing his body in the dim, dusty room was so much better than how he had imagined it nearly every night for two years.

"I love you, Y/N."

A low groan escaped her throat at the feeling of him getting more handsy with her. She could feel in her soul that he really wanted her, he needed her. On impulse, she laid her legs over his lap; but soon after, she felt him hungrily grab her by the hips and lift her to straddle him instead. For a brief moment, though, sense overrode the near drunkenness she felt from his touch. Y/N broke away from the kiss for a moment, slightly panting.

"Sebastian...what if Ominis or Anne come in here? What if they interrupt us?"

Sebastian stopped his movements and froze when she asked the question. He hadn't thought of that...

...they hadn't even locked the door.

Before he could say anything, however, a faint knock came from the other side of the door. Y/N cursed herself for speaking this situation into existence.

"Y/N... Sebastian... is everything alright in there?"

It was Anne. Her voice was quiet and uncertain, but it was clear that she was worried things were going south. Sebastian told her that he was going to confess, and she just wanted to make sure everything went well. Y/N's eyes clenched shut and she let out a small groan to herself, although she was screaming bloody murder in her head. She exchanged a desperate glance with Sebastian before she rose from her place on his lap and made her way to the door. Sebastian's face, however, seemed to go white as he adjusted his trousers. The door opened to Anne Sallow, who was a bit taller and looked healthier now that she was rid of her curse. She shot her friend a faint smile which Y/N returned.

"Hey Anne, everything's fine. Seb and I are just having a discussion."

The flushed faces and general disarray, however, seemed to suggest that it was more than a 'discussion'. Anne's eyes widened when she saw the flushed faces and disheveled clothing as she peeked around the room. She could clearly tell what had been happening in the Undercroft, and she felt very awkward about it.

"Riiight... a discussion. How nice," she said awkwardly.

She glanced over at Sebastian, noticing the look he was giving her, something between a plea and a death glare. She cleared her throat and spoke again, very disturbed at this point.

"So, um... shall I give you two some privacy? Do you want a few minutes to resume your...discussion?"

"If you don't mind. I'm sorry, Anne, but we have a lot to discuss, so we might need a while. Please don't tell Ominis?"

Her voice cracked and she got fidgety from the embarrassment, and second-hand embarrassment from Anne. Y/N could only imagine how awkward it was for her to see her brother in such a state with her best friend. They both stood there for a moment, still as statues, as Sebastian crossed his legs in an attempt to cover himself. Anne nodded her head quickly, her face still a bit red.

"Right! I'll... I'll be in the library then."

She turned around and hurried out of the Undercroft, closing the door behind her. Sebastian could feel his face flush even more than it already was. He sat in silence, his thoughts filled with embarrassment and shame. He looked over at his lover, his eyes pleading with her to speak, to say something that would break the awkward mood. The shade of red that spread across her face was so intense, she thought that maybe her hair would also turn bright Weasley red. Y/N took a deep breath and then promptly spoke:

"It's okay. It's fine, let's just..."

After locking the door with a wave of her wand, she sat back down on the squashy sofa next to Sebastian once more, looking him in the eyes. Her hand rested on his cheek and she turned his head to look at her.

"Focus on me, okay? Let's not think about her right now..."

Her other hand grazed his thigh, making him tense up. Sebastian felt his body heat up as she touched him. It seemed as if he forgot his sister even existed, judging by the way his breath hitched and his muscles tensed. He was so sensitive, and all he needed now was release.

"Oh..." he moaned quietly, his eyes wandering downwards to her hips as she sat back on his lap. He looked back up at Y/N's face, absorbing every single feature on it, as if this were the last time he would ever see her again.

"It's so hard to think clearly when I look at you..."

Her voice was sweet and calming, and her eyes were piercing and beautiful. Her words managed to break the tension ever so slightly.

"Please, I... I need you..." he pleaded as a blush spread across his cheeks again. Her eyes gazed into his with a suble intensity coming from the both of them. Y/N could almost feel the heat radiating from his body, and her own body was soaking it in.

"Yes?"

Her voice was almost a whisper, as the sight before her was breathtaking. Sebastian took a deep breath, taking in Y/N's enchanting beauty before he spoke. The thoughts going through his head at that very moment could have made a whore blush.

"I need you, you know...in the sense that..."

He looked down at his lap where Allana was sitting, thinking for a moment. He was confused by his own words...he was never one to beg or submit to others, right? But then again, he couldn't deny how much of an influence her presence had on him and how his mind and thoughts were always clouded by thoughts of her.

"I love you. I always thought it was just lust, but there's so much more..."

This time, Y/N didn't even need to think about her words before she spoke:

"I love you too, Sebastian. And if you feel the same, then show me. Make me feel what you feel for me."

Her hand found his, and placed it on her thigh, her gaze never breaking from his. At this point, Y/N was completely drunk on love and desire for Sebastian. Garreth Weasley was put completely out of her mind now; all she needed or wanted now was Sebastian Sallow.

Her lips collided with his once more, needing to taste him again. The second their lips melted into each other, his hands were on her again, travelling over her body. Y/N placed one hand on the back of his neck, and the other grabbed his tie to pull him closer to her. Sebastian's heart seemed to skip a beat as she placed his hands on her thighs. He felt like he could drown in her gorgeous eyes and he knew that he had to make her feel what she made him feel.

As her soft lips touched his, his mind was filled with a rush of pleasure and his body trembled with joy. His hands ran through her hair, caressing her body with every movement. Y/N's lips tasted sweet and he wanted more...the feeling of her on his body was addicting and he couldn't hold back any longer. Their lips danced together, as if it just came so naturally to the both of them. Once more, Sebastian grabbed hold of her hips and rear, shifting them a bit so he could gain some pleasure from the friction. Underneath her, Y/N could feel the bulge in his pants, and it get her even more excited.

"Sebastian..."

Her voice was almost a squeak, like a bunny rabbit, as his name escaped her lips. Her body was so warm now, and the layers she was wearing made her sweat a bit. Sebastian was less dressed than she was, already without his robe and blazer from running around earlier, but she tugged at his shirt all the same. Sebastian felt a rush of pure pleasure as he witnessed and felt just how eager she was. His tongue continued to dance with her lips, exploring her mouth like it was a new continent. His heart was beating so fast that he could hardly stand it for a moment, but when Y/N began to tug at his shirt and move his hand down to her rear, his breathing quickened and his mind went blank.

He looked at her, his eyes reassuring her that she was doing the right thing. It was so surreal seeing the girl he had fantasized about sitting on his lap, so close and intimate. Y/N ceased her movements and pulled away from their passionate kiss to look at him seriously, but her eyes and her voice were still dripping with a sultry desire.

"Sebastian...are you sure about this? Are you ready? It's okay if you aren't..."

That last statement was laced with a subtle disappointment, however, which betrayed her real thoughts. Sebastian sighed, taking deep and careful breaths as he looked back at his lover.

"Y/N..." he said, his voice quivering a bit. "I'm... I'm sure."

He looked away for a moment, thinking about his next words carefully.

"... I'm more than ready."

He could feel his face flush with embarrassment as he said this. The confirmation from Sebastian was all Y/N needed to go all in. In mere seconds, her lips were on his once more, and her hips were now harshly grinding against his. He groaned into the kiss from the friction against the ever growing tent in his trousers. Sebastian was practically melting beneath her, and she was loving every second of it.

Y/N lazily shrugged her robes off of her shoulders, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Soon after that, her hands fumbled to undo Sebastian's tie and began unbuttoning his shirt. Something so simple as Y/N's robes falling to the floor almost sent him over the edge. Her hips grinding against him, her lips pressed against his. The scent of her, her skin, the feeling of her warm thighs against his trousers. It was more than he could bear.

As Y/N's hands fumbled with his tie, he began helping her. He unbuttoned his shirt quickly and pulled it off in the same motion. When the shirt fell to the floor beside her robes, Y/N could see Sebastian's muscular frame in the light of the candles, his hair still mussed up from their intense making out session. The sight before her made her almost drool, but Y/N didn't allow herself to stop now. Quickly, she pulled back to remove her tie and vest and skirt; but as she worked to unbutton her blouse, Sebastian's hand grabbed her wrist and deigned to work on the buttons himself.

Both of their faces grew hotter and redder, as if it was just now dawning on them what they were doing. Sebastian began to work on the buttons of Y/N's blouse slowly. Although it was taking some time without him using magic, fumbling a bit from nerves, it was still an intimate activity to do together. As the blouse slid off of Y/N's shoulders, Sebastian's eyes trailed down her body, the sound of his breaths quickly filling the room as his own excitement rose.

"Darling..."

Sebastian whispered, almost in awe of the beauty in front of him. He felt her skin, it was so smooth and soft, so warm. His body was almost shaking in anticipation of what was to come next. While his lover was smaller in frame, Sebastian was more toned. Not exactly muscular, but still a bit broad, and his chest was covered in the same freckles that decorated his face, and especially concentrated around his shoulders. As her eyes trailed down though, she noticed the outline of his pelvis and the ever so small line of hair that led down to his crotch. It was all Y/N could do not to rip his trousers off of him, but she thought it was better to savor the moment.

Slowly, she reached behind her back to unlace her corset and let it fall to the floor with her robes, leaving her only in her thin cotton chemise. And then her fingers traveled to his trousers, removing his belt and undoing the buttons on them. Y/N's touch set each of Sebastian's senses ablaze. He could feel the smooth fabric of her chemise, the lace on her corset before it fell to the floor. When he felt her fingers undo the buttons on his trousers, his heart seemed to skip a beat. He let out a soft moan as he felt her gently caress him, and when the trousers fell to the floor beside his shirt, it became clear just how excited and eager he was.

He looked at Y/N once more, hoping that she would take the next step... The only thing between them now was her thin chemise and his undershorts. Their breathing was stilted and uneven, since they were both holding back their primal desire to just claw at each other. Wait a minute... Why am I holding back?

Sebastian and Y/N both exchanged an intense look, wordlessly agreeing to not hold anything back. He seemed to understand, as his lips crashed into hers yet again, but then they moved down her jaw to her neck, leaving small bites along the way. His hands grabbed at her body, trailing up under her chemise to grab at the soft bare flesh of her ass.

Y/N's hands, however, palmed at the bulge in Sebastian's shorts, earning a low groan from him at his own sensitivity. Sebastian's heart practically skipped a beat as he swallowed Y/N's moans through their locked lips. Her voice was like honey in his ears as he kissed her fiercely. The feeling of her hands and lips on his body drove him wild, especially so when her hands reached for him under his shorts.

His own hands went back to her body, exploring her curves underneath her chemise. This was something that they had both wanted for so long and he couldn't believe that he was finally giving it to her and herself.

"Y/N..." Sebastian moaned, biting the side of her neck.

"Sebastian... Do you want to take charge?"

She punctuated her question with a small bite to his earlobe, and Sebastian took no time in flipping them over to where he was on top of her. His hands unbuttoned the top of her chemise with a clumsy fervor, and he quickly pulled it off of her body.

Y/N was now left completely bare underneath him, save for her stockings. Sebastian pulled back from her neck to absorb the sight before him with his eyes. It was everything he had fantasized about and more. Y/N stared back at him before muttering out nervously:

"Is everything okay? You're staring, do you not like it...?"

Sebastian looked at the object of all his desires, her breathtaking body and her precious face. He couldn't believe that she was his, that she was finally in his arms. He smiled, looking down at her, admiring her beauty.

"Y/N...." Sebastian murmured. "What would possibly make you think that I don't like it? You are everything I have ever wanted. I'm just...amazed by you, that's all."

He looked at her body, his eyes traveling along her curves, taking in every inch of her. He leaned down and gave her another kiss, his hands still exploring the shape of her body. This kiss was warmer and a bit less hungry than the others, and his hands were less rough. He was comforting with his touches, making sure she felt completely comfortable and loved. He was tender and needy at once, and Y/N loved him for it. It reassured her that this isn't the only thing he wants from her.

His hands settled on her chest, kneading and massaging at the mounds of flesh. It was here Y/N could tell how inexperienced Sebastian was, but at least he was trying. He was experimenting with different things to see what she enjoyed. When his thumbs grazed her sensitive buds though, he knew he had figured out something she liked, and that filled him with a bit of pride and confidence. Sebastian was so focused on Y/N's reactions, her sounds of pleasure and her body that it almost took him out of the moment. Seeing her react to his touch filled him with pride and joy.

"Is that good, darling?" he asked gently, slowing his movements. "Should I continue? Do you want me to?"

Sebastian was almost breathing heavy, his heart beating so fast that it felt as though it was about to burst. All he wanted was to hear his lover's soft voice telling him to continue.

"Please..."

Was all Y/N could croak out as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She made every effort to try and steady her breathing as Sebastian tried pleasuring her. During his excursions to the adult section in the Hogsmeade library, Sebastian had read a few of the more saucy romance novels, and attempted to do the things he read about. Because otherwise, he was completely clueless. He knew well enough how to pleasure himself, but to pleasure a woman: that was something foreign. From what he read, he decided to be bold and lean down to run his tongue over her chest, flicking his tongue at the sensitive bud. This got a gasp from Y/N as her eyes fluttered shut, and he took that as a sign to keep going.

"Never stop, Sebastian."

She mewled out at him. With every movement of his tongue, she could feel the growing heat and wetness in her core. Sebastian took extra care to make sure both breasts got an equal amount of love. After a while, he pulled away to look down at her chest. Her buds were now stiff and red from his affection. He took this as a sign to continue with something else. His hand now trailed down her stomach and nestled down at the short bit of hair between her thighs. Sebastian could almost feel the heat radiating from her core, and according to what he read, this was a good thing. Y/N's breathing was ragged and fast as Sebastian explored her nakedness with his hands. She was almost panting as he traced his fingers over her skin, moving slowly down toward her slick slit.

In that moment, Sebastian began to realize how perfect and beautiful Y/N's body was. He could feel her soft and plump legs against his waist as he kissed and licked her thighs. He made sure to touch her in many different areas to see her reactions and find her sweet spots. From what he was doing, Y/N found out that she was particularly sensitive to him biting her inner thighs, which made her let out soft moans. Sebastian had slid down to where his head hovered between her thighs.

His eyes were dripping with lust, but behind that, he was just as clueless as she was about any of this. Sebastian remembered a certain part of his saucy novels that he found quite strange, but he wanted to try. Y/N felt his lips graze against her core, planting a chaste kiss on her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Sebastian, what are you doing? Isn't it supposed to be you...in me?"

Y/N asked awkwardly. Sebastian chuckled and pulled back to look at her; her innocence and her confusion was so adorable to him. He gently pushed her knees apart as he nestled his head once more between her thighs. His eyes trailed over every inch of her skin as his fingers trailed over her wetness.

Without looking at her, Sebastian replied simply, "I want to taste you, darling. I want you to enjoy this...as much as I am."

Y/N knew somewhat about how sex was supposed to go, but she had never heard about using your mouth on someone. But all the same, it made her shudder and purr when he experimentally licked a long stripe between her folds.

"Merlin's beard, that feels nice... Where did you learn all this?"

Sebastian gave a warm smile, a smile that said 'just trust me'. He was careful to not be too rough, to not go too fast. Y/N was delicate and innocent, he couldn't be too aggressive. Instead, Sebastian focused on pleasing her, on her pleasure, on her reactions.

Sebastian kept it up, licking and exploring. Y/N's words did nothing but add to his lust and desire. This was her body, he could do what he wanted with it, and that made him feel amazing. And it looked as though his lover's pleasure was increasing as well. As Sebastian licked and sucked and even bit sometimes at her sensitive region, the more she felt that familiar knot tighten in her abdomen. Y/N had pleasured herself sometimes during late nights in the Room of Requirement where she had complete privacy, but it was nothing like what Sebastian was doing to her. Her breathing quickened and her hips instinctively ground against his tongue, needing more of his touch. He took the hint and she felt his finger find her entrance, pushing in.

"S-Sebastian, I..."

Sebastian was almost shaking with excitement. This was real...this was the moment that he had been waiting for. And it was so perfect... Y/N's body, her moans, her lustful breath and her expressions... He was loving every moment of this. He pulled back for a moment, looking at her.

"Y/N, would you like me to continue?" Sebastian asked, his voice almost a whisper.

He felt a rush of adrenaline as he looked at Y/N, as if his body was preparing to release everything that it has in it. Her words were stuck in her throat, so she only looked up at him and nodded fervently. On instinct, Y/N brought her knees up to her chest to give Sebastian easier access as he unlaced his shorts. Soon, his length sprung free and stood proud before her, making her eyes widen.

"Merlin, I don't think that's going to go in.."

Sebastian chuckled, and his expression become a warm and tender as he leaned down and gave his love another kiss. The feeling of her soft lips, combined with her sweet and innocent demeanor, was melting his heart.

"Shhh... trust me, Y/N." He whispered.

Sebastian's hand came to rest upon her cheek, and he leaned down onto her once more as he slowly entered her. Even though he took it really slow, Y/N's face still twisted up in pain. She had never put anything in there before, so Sebastian's thickness was especially painful for her. Once he was fully sheathed, he kept still, letting her adjust.

"T-That hurts..."

A tear formed in her eye and her body scrunched up a little. Sebastian could see the tears in her eyes and that made him feel terrible.

"Darling, I'm sorry." He whispered.

He kept still to give her time to adjust, but he was anxious to continue. He just wanted to please her. He gave her a loving kiss on her cheek, letting her know that he still cared.

"Just keep breathing." Sebastian murmured. "Just relax."

Y/N nodded and closed her eyes, taking deep breaths. Slowly, she felt her insides relaxing and opening up more, and the pain grew lesser.

"You can move..."

Her voice was nearly a whisper as she opened her eyes to look at him once more. Sebastian started to move back and forth, slowly and gently. He was careful not to hurt Y/N, making sure to go at her pace and never force her.

"How does that feel, darling?" he whispered.

With every time he pushed in, she felt tingles ripple through her body. It was nice, even though the size of him still hurt a little.

"That feels lovely, Sebastian... Have you done this before?"

That last question sounded anxious, desperate for him to say no. Sebastian hesitated for a second before he spoke.

"No, actually, I've never done this before." He said softly. "Honestly, my heart is racing right now. In a good way, my love."

He slowed his movements to a stop, not able to speak for a moment. He was so focused on Y/N and the way her body felt, and all his anxiousness was washed away by his desire to make her feel good. Noticing that he stopped, Y/N moved her hips against his and opened her legs up more to reassure him that he was doing well, and that she wanted this.

"I've never done this either, but I've thought about us doing it a lot."

She paused, and looked deep in thought for a moment.

"Could you do something for me? It's just something I've pictured..."

Sebastian's heartbeat quickened at her words. "Yes, of course, my love. What do you want me to do?"

Sebastian was curious as to what Y/N wanted. Her thoughts, her feelings -- these were things he had wondered about. And to finally, be able to do exactly what she asked of him... his heart raced in excitement.

"Uhm...could you..."

Y/N looked incredibly nervous and a little ashamed as the words wouldn't exit her throat. Instead, she picked his tie up off of the floor and tied it tightly around her neck, handing him the long end nervously. Sebastian was taken aback. He understood where this was going, but he was still somewhat speechless.

"Are you sure...?" he asked softly, his voice gentle and calm as he took the end of the tie from her hands. "I... I could never do anything you don't want me to do, Y/N."

His breath was ragged as he looked down at her, noticing that her eyes were closed, almost as if in anticipation for his answer.

"I'm sure, just...pull it. Whenever you like."

She bit her lip and looked off to the side, feeling a bit dirty for requesting such a thing, especially for their first time. But on the other hand, she was incredibly eager for him to act out her fantasies with her. Sebastian looked back at his lover, a nervous smile on his face...and then, slowly, he began to pull as his hips snapped against hers once more. He took in her expression and her body's reaction. She seemed to get more excited the tighter he pulled it. His heart pumped faster in his chest, his breathing faster, and he closed his eyes to experience the moment.

He could feel that Y/N was very close to her release and he continued to pull, his mind in a daze. It was as if he was in his own little world, completely oblivious to anything and anyone else but her. As Sebastian started moving in and out of her once again, her gaze met his once more. Her eyelids were heavy and her breath was hot, just as she always had been while in her bed when she pleasured herself as she thought about him. Soon, he sped up with his movements, his length massaging her walls. The hand that wasn't holding the tie rested on her breast, kneading it and thumbing at her sensitive bud. Y/N's moans grew steadily louder and her legs wrapped around his waist once again, pulling him closer to her.

"Sebastian, I... I love you..."

A harsher wave of pleasure washed over Sebastian. He was overwhelmed with emotion, with love, with affection, as his body moved in tune to Y/N's. Her words washed over him like a warm embrace, wrapping him in a blanket of passion as she pulled him closer. Their lips met in a soft and tender kiss as Sebastian moved even faster, his breath hot and his mind lost in the thrill and enjoyment of the moment. He had never felt this way before... His heart was beating out of his chest and his body was shaking with emotion. He felt like he could cry and laugh at the same time. After their admission of love to each other, Sebastian's pace rapidly increased and he got rougher with her, the both of them overcome with need. The sound of skin slapping on skin reverberated throughout the Undercroft, and only added to their arousal.

Sebastian leaned down to Y/N's neck and left a harsh bite, chewing and sucking at her soft skin to leave a bruise. The hand that was on her breast traveled down to her abdomen, feeling her stomach bulge up slightly every time he pushed in. Sebastian's kisses got more passionate as he got rougher with Y/N. His hands went exploring as he looked for somewhere to leave his mark on her. He sucked aggressively at her neck, biting into her flesh and marking her with his lips so that everyone could know who she belongs to.

His free hand trailed lower and lower until he managed to find the spot that he was looking for. The feeling of his teeth grinding into her skin and his cock quickly pushing in and out of her sent Y/N into absolute overdrive. It didn't take long at all for her to melt into a panting, moaning mess underneath Sebastian. Her hands grabbed at his shoulders and back, leaving long claw marks that would definitely last a few days. That oh-so familiar knot started tightening in her stomach, and she knew she was close to her release.

"Mm, Sebastian, I... I-I'm gonna..."

Sebastian's heart was pounding out of his chest at this point. His breathing was ragged and his eyes were almost glazed over. He could picture those claw marks that would be left on his body and his mind was filled with a fiery excitement.

"Yes, my love, let it out." He whispered, his voice low with lust. "Give into it, darling."

The pure obsession and desire that laced Sebastian's voice was all she needed to reach her breaking point. Y/N's body seized up, her back arched, and she let out a long, loud squeal as her walls clamped around his length. Sebastian felt Y/N's insides gripping him tightly and his body started shaking violently. He felt every last bit of his release and it was more than he could've ever imagined it being.

"Y/N..." He groaned, his eyes rolling back from pleasure. He was out of breath, his heart pumping like crazy.

"That...oh my gods..." he muttered. He could feel her claws digging into his flesh even harder.

"That was so good." He sighed.

Y/N purred at the feeling of his fluids painting her insides, and as soon as he stopped, she relaxed and looked up at him with so much love and need that it made his heart melt. Sebastian soon laid on top of her out of exhaustion, his head resting on her chest. Sebastian kept his body tight against Y/N's, feeling safe and content. His chest rose and fell quickly - he could feel his heart still pounding in his ears.

Slowly, he turned his head to look at her face. He wanted to remember every detail about this moment: every feature on her face, every single expression that she made. He smiled softly as his eyes drifted lower and he traced one of the scratches she had left on his arm with his fingers.

"That...was amazing." He whispered.

"You are amazing, Sebastian."

Y/N smiled warmly at him and played with his messy hair, some of which now stuck to his face from how sweaty they were. And when he smiled back at her...she nearly fell in love with him all over again. The way his freckles looked, the way his eyes smiled as well...it was absolutely precious.

"And you are absolutely beautiful, Y/N."

Sebastian's breath was coming in warm puffs as he looked into her eyes. He felt a surge of emotion and was tempted to give her another kiss.

"I'm so in love with you, Y/N." He whispered, softly tracing her cheek with his fingertips.

"And to think... I almost didn't meet you tonight." She was so special to him; without her, he might not have known what love truly is.

"I'm glad that we're together..."

"I want us to be together. Officially. I want everyone to know."

Sebastian said, a grin spreading across his face and a fire roaring in his eyes. His head rested on her chest once more as they both just basked the afterglow. That was, until they came back to the reality that the Undercroft got particularly cold in the wintertime. The pair sat up and stretched a bit before Y/N spoke:

"Maybe we should get dressed and go let Anne know we aren't dead."

"Oh, I forgot we were in here." Sebastian replied, nodding as he noticed that it was cold.

"Alright then." He stood up and reached down to help her up. "Let me give you a kiss first, before we go back to looking respectable, darling."

He bent down, meeting her lips with his own as his hands gripped her hips. Once he had finished, all that was left was a red mark on Y/N's neck -- it would have certainly given away their activities. Y/N giggled, knowing that she had equally marked him by clawing his back. The two quickly pulled their clothes back on and made themselves presentable once again.

"Oh Merlin, I've never felt like this before."

She couldn't resist pulling Sebastian into a tight hug before the two exited the Undercroft. Sebastian sighed, still reeling from the experience, trying to make sense of the feelings he had.

"Nor have I." Sebastian replied, looking down at Y/N with loving eyes. "I wish I knew how I could make you feel this way all the time."

When the two reentered the Dark Arts tower, their faces were flushed and their hair was still disheveled. They knew it was late, due to the now golden light pouring through the large windows, but neither of them really cared at that moment. They had each other's love, and that was all that mattered. And to Sebastian, it was definitely worth running a marathon around the halls of Hogwarts for.

=====♡=====

maybe a part 2 if yall want, idk?

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #hp #sebastian sallow x mc #sebastian sallow x reader #Sebastian sallow smut

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snapscube · 2 years ago

Note

Hi there I’m a relatively new streamer on twitch and have been at it for a bit, and I’m finally at a point where I feel confident enough in my setup and general content that I can make edits of my streams, but I don’t have the resources for an editor. I know you don’t really edit your vods (as far as I’m aware) but I was curious if you had any advice, especially with editing down 3-5 hour streams as I feel like I just get overwhelmed with the sheer amount of stuff there is to cut. Thank you for your time, I’m a big fan of your stuff!

I don't currently do the brunt of the VOD editing for the main channel, no, but I used to and I've done it a couple times since bringing on Ellie so I do have a couple pointers! So, first of all, I know it's so much easier said than done but legit at a certain point you gotta just hit the play button and start watching it haha. Sometimes I will only be able to edit a stream in like 10 minute chunks cause it's just so daunting and actively fights against my ADHD. But, even if the sessions I spend editing are short, as long as I'm still doing SOMETHING whenever I get even the smallest burst of motivation to just press the play button it eventually gets easier and, more importantly, gets done.

BUT in terms of my actual tips for the process...

Have a specific editing structure laid out. My recommendation: Watch through the VOD in full, don't worry about cuts just yet. Just write down timestamps for bits you want to include. Even better if you utilize the marker system in whatever editing suite you use to do so, as you can label them and see them visually on the timeline. MAKE SURE YOU WATCH IN 2X SPEED. It's gonna be a bit disorienting at first but I promise you, you'll get used to it and the time saved is gonna be so worthwhile. Then, once you've finished marking your VOD, start making cuts at those markers and copy the cut down clips into a NEW timeline. DON'T delete anything from the timeline you watched/made markers on, just copy stuff to the new one in chronological order. Once you have every marked clip copied over to the new timeline, do a watch-through of the rough cut you just made and start polishing up those cuts for pacing. This is where you can feel free to just slice the shit out of everything, don't be stingy, just do what works best for the video. If you'd like, an extra step you can do here is maybe add some more markers if a particular joke or flair edit comes to mind while you're making pacing cuts, just be sure not to get bogged down in the details just yet. Wait until after you've finished polishing the entire rough cut for pacing, and then you can start jumping to your markers and make the more intensive edits and polish as the final or near-final step!

Give this a try, or modify it to suit your own workflow/schedule! I hope it helps!

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peacheeeliz · 5 months ago

Text

011. hurry up we're hungry (1k wc)

“Thank you all for joining today, and I hope you enjoyed the stream!” You speak towards your camera, waving goodbye to chat with a sweet smile. “See you guys on Wednesday for the fourth session of empires!”

You say a few more goodbyes before you finally shut down the stream, letting out a sigh. Playing with Yuyu went great, and you had a lot more fun than you thought you would. But after streaming for about five hours with him, you were ready to hit the sack and sleep until noon tomorrow. You're about to just walk away from your desk completely before a deep chuckle brings you from your sleep-filled thoughts.

“Feeling tired?” He questions. You totally forgot you were still on call with him, as he kept quiet while you did your outro.

“Yeah, a little,” you answer, laughing softly. “But, knowing me, I'll probably just be lying in my bed for hours, scrolling through TikTok.”

He lets out another laugh at that comment, “same, not gonna lie.”

You smile softly at his laughter, leaning back in your chair. “If you're not in any rush to head to bed,” you start, playing with the wire of your headphones. “Would you mind maybe chatting for a bit?” He falls silent for a bit, and you continue before he has a chance to answer. “Just because it feels like we don't know each other that well, is all. Want you to feel more comfortable with me, despite the whole war going on and stuff.”

“I'd love to,” he responds, and you can almost hear the smile in his voice. “I don't really know anyone on the server that well, to be honest, so I kinda needed this.”

“Not even Yeonjun?” You ask, hearing a quiet ‘nuh-uh’ as your answer. “I'm surprised seeing as he invited you to join the smp.”

“I think it's just because I'm another popular streamer, honestly,” Yuyu answers truthfully, and you hear the shuffle of his shoulders shrugging.

“But you're not just any other popular streamer. You're obviously more than that,” you tell him, a small frown forming on your lips. “How did you even start streaming? You started just over a year ago, right?”

“Yeah, July last year,” he tells her, finally smiling as he reminisces about that time. “I always played Valorant, you know, it's been my favorite game ever since it came out. So, when my friend suggested streaming in my downtime, it actually sounded really interesting.”

“You don't stream all that often, though,” you note. “You must not have a lot of downtime?”

He lets out a pained laugh at that, “you got that right. My job is pretty demanding,” he pauses for a moment. “But, I really enjoy it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.”

You smile at that, “that's really sweet.”

“I mean, that's how you feel about streaming, no?” He questions. “That's what I'm assuming, anyway. You stream a lot more than me, and it seems like you really enjoy doing it.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” you respond with a small nod, despite the fact that he can't see it. “God, I've been streaming for so long. It's not really a job for me anymore. You know? Like I can just hop on stream, play silly games with my friends, and it keeps me stable on top of all of that. It's crazy to see how far I've come and how far we've all come.”

“Yeah, you started way back when, huh?” He jokes, laughing through his nose. “Six years ago, right? Sorry, I have a friend who's a big fan, so I know a lot more than it might seem.”

“Aww, you do?” You tease, leaning forward once again to rest your chin on your hand. “I'd love to meet him one day.”

“Trust me, you do not,” he warns. “He's already threatened to crash my stream today. Almost disowned me after I killed you during the first empires session.”

You let out a soft chuckle, “that's cute. Come on, it won't be that bad if we just talk for a bit, you tell him, drawing out a couple of words.

He shakes his head lightly, “I'll think about it, alright? But I really don't think you two will be a good duo,” he starts, hearing your exaggerated gasp through his headphones. “He's crazy, and you're…. also crazy.”

“Wooow,” you exclaim, letting out a pained laugh. “Says the one who just blew me up the other day.”

“Hey, hey, that,” he pauses, chuckling. “That was an accident. I really did think Soobin was going to walk in first.”

“Oh, I'm so sorry for foiling your plans by walking into my building first,” you say, rolling your eyes. “Thank you for rebuilding it, though. Very sweet of you,” you tease, smiling softly.

You can just tell he's rolling his eyes in response, “it was the right thing to do, after killing you what? Three times now?”

“Even more if you count the Among Us stream,” you comment, giggling.

“Damn, I owe you big time, don't I?” He replies, sighing. “I'll make it up to you whenever you ask.”

Before you can respond, you hear a muffled voice coming from your headphones. Yuyu gives a quick ‘sorry,’ before responding to who you assume is his roommate. You sit there quietly, trying your best not to listen in or interrupt the two.

“Sorry, forgot I had plans with a few of my friends after the stream,” he comes back to you, frowning that your time together was cut short.

“No, it's all good, don't worry,” you tell him. “Go hang out with your friends, have fun.”

“Thanks for understanding,” he says, smiling. He hesitates, but doesn’t forget to tell you: “We should, uhm, do this again sometime. It was nice.”

You smile as well, “we should. I'm here whenever, alright?” You respond. “Well, unless Sungchan pulls me away. He gets a little jealous when others get more attention than him.” His deep chuckle rings through your ears again. “Talk to you later, Yuyu.”

“Yeah, talk to you later, Y/N,” he replies, waiting until you leave the call to finally close out of the app. He leans back in his chair again, smiling to himself.

synopsis ⤏ you're trying to peacefully build your starter house on the empires server when your neighbor so rudely (accidentally) kills you, starting the biggest war on the server just one day in.

prev / masterlist / next

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ taglist is closed!

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez smau #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop smau #kpop social media au #ateez social media au #yunho smau #yunho fanfic #yunho au #yunho #kpop fanfic

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lotusarchon · 3 months ago

Text

As I have the app around, I may as well just dive into this before disappearing again. To the people in my post a few days prior and in my dms, I promise I'm not ignoring any of you, but I genuinely can't muster the energy to speak to anyone else currently. I'm only here currently because someone found my unmentioned hetalia account, which I left unmentioned for a reason...you know who you are...you scared me...😭

Ah, okay well. If you're not aware of who I am, hi. I'm a dude that wrote fanfiction for this fandom I got pulled into. A year ago I had a few different accounts but I had to delete every single one just because I kept getting harassed, from one thing to another. I'm hoping I don't have to do it again this time around.

I haven't gone offline as anyone thought. I did attempt to take my life (twice, 2024 is something else) but in the end it didn't work out, so I've been hiding in my secret account to relax in hetalia for a bit. In between that I've also been stalking the account myself since it showed up just to see what it was up to, and...oh wow that's a lot.

This specific account has been on my ass like a tick since..two days ago. Two days of my 'supposed' death.

I've also recently found out that someone else who was pretending to be a friend of my friend's and a concerned citizen happened to be friends with them;

And hence why I chose not to reemerge my head back then yet. It turns out there's a few people who may have been following me who are acquainted with these people and...yeah, I didn't want to take the risk. I'm hoping no one is going to inform them I'm not actually dead―I blocked both accounts to avoid being noticed.

There's a lot of yapping I'm gonna be doing so expect a lot of that, BUT piece of advice to anyone that actually cares: do not engage with either blog. Don't send them hate mail, don't go gloating that I'm not actually dead, and don't fucking yap about anything. These blogs went as far as to harass my friends who have no part in this, and they also wrote nsfw of my adult oc and my friend who is a fucking minor. Do. Not. Engage. With. Them. Please!! Block, block, block. Just block them! They're actively going out of their way to harass and stalk MINORS.

Under the cut, I am rambling more on personal feelings rather than doing this professionally. I'm still pretty moody actually and well yeah...

Trigger Warning for some topics below!

Okay uh. I've never done this before so excuse me while I put this in question format lmfao..

"Why aren't you dead!?"

Joke answer; god doesn't want me.

Long answer: I'm not the type of person who says something like that ...like that. I really was intending to go through with it, but evidently I was too tired from crying and fell asleep. I figured that I couldn't handle people fucking around with me and hid in my secret blog. Hetalia fandom is so nice for a fandom about countries. Point blank sorry to burst many of your bubbles, but I'm not dead yet. Put the birthday canon away, slut. I'll die next season.

"What the fuck did you even do?"

Exist.

No okay, realistically it's a lot. I'm not going to play the victim here's and I'm not going to lie to people and say "oh hey my mental illness/trauma made me do that" because that's bullshit. I'm also not diving too deep into any explanations just because my hands hurt..but also I don't want to remember anything less I have another panic attack.

A year ago I met this girl who became my friend over a fandom. We chatted, but I fucked our friendship up when I lashed out at her and another friend wrongfully because of my own stress. While I did beg one of them to stay, the chick that runs kokomichanstuff, Mariin, I ended the friendship with her just because I knew what I did was bad. There really aren't any excuses for that. I don't think anyone should have to deal with anyone else's bad attitude regardless of mental health or not. I didn't bother to keep Mariin around because I did bad, and no amount of apologies would fix it. She already said she wouldn't forgive me, so I knew it made no sense to keep up a facade. I genuinely had no idea she would've been mad that I begged one person to stay but not her, even though she expressed not wanting to be my friend. I also don't remember truly if what I did was enough to earn THIS type of harassement, but I'll take it as divine punishment. But basically, over and over again Mariin has stalked me and found a way to harass me. According to the posts she made, she's made a new friend I (sadly) hurt who wants..revenge. Hooray.

Mariin's already namedropped them so um, yeah, I hope it's okay to mention them?? . Neveah was someone I also hurt really badly by bullying and lashing out at her out of jealousy over something ridiculously dumb in my old server and account. I confronted her later on apologizing but specifically also adding that she didn't need to forgive me because I messed up. Long story short, she claimed she had forgiven me.... but then went to her friends (Mariin mentioned) Geno, Toga etc to badmouth me, including sharing sensitive information I sent to her. Neveah's friend Geno made a post mocking me which I found and responded poorly too, and then more drama escalated from there because literally every single one of Neveah and Geno's friends came to bombard me, sent me hate mail and surprise, Mariin took the chance to come back. I don't know how the fuck those two (Mariin and Neveah) managed to speak, but sometime later a few accounts appeared that went after people who were once associated with me or used to be associated with me. A few days ago the account made supposedly by Neveah made a post accusing me of being a r*pist, groomer and pedophile and yeah. That went badly.

Uh. Wow this is a mouthful. But. Yeah, I'm...not really a good person, and these things are just embarrassing and..ick. I hate myself for the shit I pull. But, I will say, while I can accept Mariin harassing me like this, the other parties just...genuinely could've handled this better than what they did to me. It really wouldn't have been so hard to ask me instead of listening to one side, but maybe that's me. Regardless, I admit I was wrong. I just..I'm not happy other people are getting involved.

"Why didn't you just say something sooner instead of all that nonsense? Wasn't that too dramatic?"

Sadly it was, but I don't think any of you understand when I say that I CAN'T. I can't say anything because it's just me, me, me. It's just me, and people aren't going to believe me. They never do. When that shitshow happened with Neveah, everyone was blaming me. Even up till recently, someone in my current server told me I was the one who overreacted over getting bullied and harassed. I'm not mentioning them here but holy fuck, that shit hurt. The anons coming in my inboxes telling me "people are offering you advice and you don't want it", it fucking hurts. It genuinely hurts because every single time I try to speak up against anything, or stand up for myself, I'm the one who's in the wrong.

Geno, Neveah, Mariin, fucking Toga and Deja and the entire fucking crew. They're never the ones who get wronged, and they haven't lost anything. Even when Mariin's account gets deleted, she's fine. She has people that actually fucking listens to her, all of them do.

I don't. There's no one aside from the few friends I have who would actually listen to me and not just immediately jump at me, and I'd rather just not have them involved in anymore drama that revolves around me.

Yeah, holy shit, maybe attempting to kill myself from the stress was overbearing but you guys have no fucking idea what it's like. Every time, every time I make a report or say something, I'm the one who's told I'm at fault. It's either, "You're don't look like a child, it's not their fault they want to touch you," or, "You overreacted," or, "Maybe you shouldn't have said anything," or even, "You're so ungrateful, I'm trying to help you."

It. fucking. Sucks. It. SUCKS. Its terrifying that regardless if it's my real life or on the internet, no one listens, no one cares and the one who's left hurting is Ali because who fucking cares. Who gives a shit right?

"....did you try to kill yourself over Nezha?"

Everything started with Nezha, and I'm not even fucking kidding. I don't remember how I met Mariin but I knew for a fact it was something about him. And when we broke our friendship off, I got attacked a LOT about his age. I want to pretend that maybe it was all Mariin, but with how things are, I don't doubt for a second this fucking fandom were jumping me for a character who already has a confirmed age.

I could tell you that I was just stressed about Mariin, but that'd be a lie. Everywhere I go with this fandom, I'm always getting hassled about Nezha's age. From the beginning I was already stressed, because I continuously kept getting anon after anon calling me names and accusations for a fictional fucking character.

I don't deny that Mariin didn't have a part to play. She most definitely made things worst for me with using Nezha to slander me further. It's just my luck that the people in this fandom are idiots that'll listen to anything anyone says.

Think of it this way; the pot was near burning on the stove, it just needed some more fuel.

"Why didn't you just listen to the anons?"

Sighs

Mind you, this was supposedly when I was DEAD. Trust me, I've had far worst flooding my inboxes. Before it was about Nezha's age. Recently, it was to kill myself and the accusations.

I'm not saying the advice was ever bad. But the anons were strangers for all I care who had no idea what the fuck was happening. I've tried blocking anons before, I also went to far lengths to ignore them, but there's only so much I can take. Every day, day in day out on any blog I've made, ever since I started writing for Nezha, I've been receiving dozens and dozens of hate I've had to delete constantly. Not even counting the ones that just randomly told me to die!!

"just ignore them" I'm not a child. I. know. I know, I know, I've been trying, but when people don't respect my boundaries and don't even bother to listen when I say I've done it, how do you think I'm going to feel?

"oh but you should put that as your trigger then it's not their fault" oh yeah, "hey everyone 🥺 when people don't listen to me I cry". How do you think it'll sound? Plus, why should I need to add that when I wasn't expecting anyone to actually act like this on the internet to begin with?!

"Why don't you just move to a different platform then if the hate is that bad?"

Ignoring Mariin for a bit, even if I were to go into another platform to write fanfiction (and I highly doubt there's many I'll feel comfortable in), why should I, and what makes you think the hate will stop there?

AO3 is a place where THE worst people write porn. And you wouldn't believe that I've had to delete quite a number of assholes on there for Nezha's age. Don't mention Twitter where the nonsense started about his age, and don't bring in bluesky because there's a word limit and I'm not limiting myself to that. Even Wattpad has them yelling about Nezha's age. WATTPAD!! Genuinely what makes you think I'll be safe anywhere I go?

I hate Tumblr but this account is my safe space from reality at this point. It used to be the place that made me not want to die. Just because you guys are jerks, why should I need to go?

This also goes back to Mariin and the harassers. Even in my fake death I can't know peace. If I were to move out, wouldn't she get to live her life peacefully while I'm miserable trying to understand a place I don't want to be in?

"Then just leave the LMK fandom!"

Again, why should I? LMK is my comfort show. I genuinely enjoy writing for silly legos, and I also love learning about things I didn't know about before. Why should I have to leave just because the fandom is filled with jerks? Why don't you guys just leave instead if you're butthurt about anyone daring to speak an opinion?

"The accusations-!"

Are lies.

I was r*ped before. Why would I find any pleasure r*ping anyone else? How does one even do that through online?

I was groomed online and assaulted in real life. Why would I think of hurting another human being, most less a child, like that when I still can't even read anything that correlates to it? Why would I find any of those things pleasing?

I turned 18 in 2024. It's not an excuse and I've been doing my best to not interact with minors, or at the very least avoid speaking about topics that are inappropriate for them. Even though I still forget I'm an adult on occasion, I know better than to pull up on my younger friends and start talking about nsfw. I've only ever spoken weirdly to my adult friends.

I recently saw someone comment on the account that I'm Islamphobic/don't support Palestine, so that makes me problematic. I grew up in an Islamic family, I have trauma with that specific religion (inclu. Hinduism and Christianity, long story). I don't interact with anything regarding religion if I can and I also don't judge someone based on their religion. I judge you based on how you speak to me. If you have a weird icon, I don't like you, if you speak weirdly, I don't like you. Additionally, I'm the type of person who feels guilty for making someone upset. I can't support myself, most less for others. No, I don't agree with genocide but it's genuinely too much for me to keep up with.

And finally, how the fuck is liking a character who's an adult make me a proshipper? Jesus Christ again with Nezha. I hate this.

"You have no proof!"

Of course I don't. I don't keep bad memories around. I wouldn't have remembered my own childhood if I didn't get triggered about it. I block bad memories out. Many interactions I've had that are bad, I delete. I don't think about saving, I delete.

Even interactions with friends I usually delete because it's just weird not seeing a blank space. I don't hate them but leaving a spot full feels weird.

I don't have any proof I'm none of the accusations but neither does Mariin, to be frank. So if you chose to believe her because you just genuinely don't like me, good for you, but you look like sheep being led by a drunk shepherd. Either you'll end up in a slaughterhouse and starve, your pick.

I'm not going to say, "Oh ask my minor friends!" Because...they're kids. I feel horrible my friend got roped into this to begin with, the last thing I want is for anyone else be involved when they barely know shit.

Yeah, rambled a bit. I didn't want too but I got carried away, whoops.

This is the only post I want to make about this issue. Don't bring it up, don't uhh, don't mention me to the account, and please just allow me to rest in peace. I just want to write and feel free, not deal with this shit, okay?

Also. Please stop involving my friends into beef you have with me. It's really not their fault they have to deal with someone like me.

Goodbye. I'm deleting the app again until I return. Adios