#it's been 40 minutes since I finished watching the finale and i don't think i'll ever recover
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Tommy’s ears feel like they have cotton stuffed in them.
“I-.” Tommy licks his lips, panic is crawling up his throat at what Evan just said, because it can’t be possible. “Can you repeat that, babe?”
Evan grunts, and there’s hushed whispers and slamming doors, and maybe a slightly louder noise of Hen yelling in the distance, and Tommy knows the 118 firehouse well enough to know that Evan is hiding in the corner of the changing rooms.
“I said, Gerrard is captain of the 118.” Evan is speaking so quietly that the phone mic is barely picking him up, but Tommy hears him loud and clear.
His heart skips a beat at the confirmation.
“Fuck,” Tommy whispers. “But how?”
“Good question,” Evan hisses. “Bobby quit, and didn’t tell us, and that’s beside the point.”
Tommy nods, it is beside the point. Tommy should be comforting Evan right now, assuring him that they can talk to someone, that it’s okay, this isn’t permanent, and-
Yet, all his brain is repeating is, “were we affectionate at the ceremony?”
Tommy says it out loud without meaning, and he blinks because that isn’t at all what he meant to say, but his mouth is moving without his permission.
“I mean, I don’t know if Gerrard would have noticed if we were, I know I was very stiff, and yes, he knows I’m gay, but he doesn’t know you’re out and-,”
Evan isn’t speaking.
Tommy can’t shut up.
“-and that doesn’t even matter. He was reassigned for discriminatory actions against multiple members of the 118, two of which are still serving, so how is he even back? Who approved this?”
Tommy’s brain is kind of in overdrive, trying to think of how’s, why’s, and fix it, fix it, fix it.
“I reported him for multiple instances of homophobia and racism, and you’re my boyfriend, and he’s captain again, and-,” Tommy takes a deep breath, “shit, I shouldn’t be complaining about myself. You called to commiserate. Shoving all that back into a dark corner of my mind.”
“That doesn’t sound very healthy,” Evan finally says, and it’s deadpan, dry, with maybe a slight hint of sarcasm to it. (Some part of Tommy blames the frequent date nights, and maybe Tommy is rubbing off on him, but also maybe there’s a layer to Evan that Tommy still hasn’t uncovered yet.)
Tommy hums, biting down on his lip to stop himself from spurting anymore nonsense.
“You ask all the exact same questions that Hen and Chimney just asked,” Evan says with a sigh, and then even quieter, and a little defeated. “You were right.”
“I was…right?”
“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Evan says.
Tommy takes a moment to curse past Tommy for being a cynic, despite being right, because he hates that defeated monotone from Evan’s mouth. It sounds wrong. And Tommy caused it.
Deadpan humour and realism may be how Tommy copes, but not even he could have predicted that a disgraced captain would be invited back into their previous role.
“No, no, I’m-,” Tommy groans, and covers the phone mic to say, “shut up, idiot,” to himself, and then uncover it again. He needs to be calm and collected and reassure his boyfriend right now.
There’s the tell-tale sound of alarms suddenly in Evan’s background and the moment has passed. A clang that Tommy knows means Evan just kicked the lockers.
“I gotta go,” Evan says, close to the mic, it sounds hollow.
Tommy nods, but then when he remembers that Evan can’t see that, you idiot, says, “yeah, I can hear.”
Tommy knows that Evan wants nothing less than to go on calls with Gerrard, but over a decade of dealing with the man comes to mind. “Don’t make yourself a target, keep out of trouble, and please, don’t be insubordinate. Just for today. Just until we know what’s happening.” And unspoken don’t mention me, don’t mention your sexuality, hide yourself, just for a day.
“Tommy,” Evan trails off, and there is an unimpressed air to his voice.
Tommy closes his eyes, grips his hands against his thighs. “Please, Evan,” he doesn’t want to beg, but he’s not above it, because he knows Vincent Gerrard inside and out.
Someone yells for Buck, the sirens get louder, and Tommy feels that panic spike again.
“You’ve got to go,” Tommy insists. “Just today,” he repeats.
Evan sighs, loud down the line. “Okay, okay, I-.” Evan curses. “Just today.”
Relief blossoms in Tommy’s chest, right alongside a kernel of shame that might have found it’s way there during the ceremony and rooted itself regardless of how much Tommy hated it. He hates himself for asking it of Evan, but he doesn’t regret it.
“Thanks,” Tommy says.
Evan snorts. Another person yells for Buck.
“I really-,” Evan starts to say, and Tommy hears the siren and the hubbub of the station as Evan moves through it.
“Go,” Tommy rushes out. “Come over tonight. We can talk about it then, just, at my place. Please.”
“See you tonight,” Evan promises.
“Be safe,” Tommy whispers, hushed, scared that Gerrard might hear him even through Evan’s phone.
Maybe Evan has a similar fear because his reply is equally as quiet. “Of course.”
#bucktommy fic#kinley fic#bucktommy#kinley#7.10 coda#my writing#wallabywrites#wallabywaffles#911 spoilers#911 7.10#911 finale#it's been 40 minutes since I finished watching the finale and i don't think i'll ever recover#i might use this in part of a larger fic#but you get this for now >.<#i'm not used to tagging drabbles on tumblr#so i apologise if this isn't tagged properly
289 notes
·
View notes
Text
Americano PT. 5 | Jude Bellingham x Reader
What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?
A/N: pff, this was a long one, enjoy babes. A heads up in advance, I’ll be taking a break in the first week of April due to my exams 🫶
W/C: 4.558
part four
"Come in here and bring your laundry hamper!"
"Just a second, dad!"
I jump out of bed, leaving my phone on the other end of it, and grab the pink hamper. I hold onto the handles tightly as I make my way out of my room.
I see him standing over the washing machine in the laundry room. I enter quickly, the both of us starting to sort out the dirty clothes and putting them in the machine accordingly.
"Did you finish packing?" My dad asks, glancing at me before grabbing the laundry detergent and fabric softener out of the cabinet above me.
"Yeah, just a couple basic things. It's like a 2-3 day trip."
He pours the blue liquid into the cap, checking the measurements before pouring it into the designated compartment. Doing the same thing with the fabric softener.
"Really? No fancy dress or anything?"
I look up from the washing machine, a sheepish smile forming on my face. I watch him shake his head in disbelief, a smile on his face as he turns the machine on.
"When I sent you abroad- I thought your aunt would raise you exactly like I would. But I forgot she probably raised you to love dressing up like her. You know, she used to terrorize me in my own room growing up, only because I had bigger windows and thus better lighting for when she did her makeup.." He shakes his head, chuckle leaving him as he reminisces.
I laugh at him, the smile on my face bigger now.
"I think packing something proper is very important. It worked out pretty well last Saturday when we went for dessert in Girona."
"Just stay safe when going out. It's a dangerous world, honey." He says, putting his hand on my shoulder.
I purse my lips at his words, remembering what had happened just a couple nights ago. He didn't know about the entire debacle, but since it was already dealt with, I didn't see a reason to bring it up.
"When are you getting up?"
"Not super early, like around eight? The match isn't until Tuesday, so no early flight."
"You know, it's almost twelve, right? Go to bed already, and don't go on your phone." He tuts, scolding me and pushing me towards my room.
"Alright, I'll go to bed."
"Goodnight, I love you." He says, kissing my forehead before he makes his way down the stairs.
"Love you too!" I shout as I watch him walk away while I stand in front of my bedroom door. The silence of the house surrounding me when I’m left alone.
The team had finally wrapped up training for the day. We had arrived in Napels that morning, and they had trained hard until late in the afternoon.
This left us with some free time for the rest of the day, until we had to prepare for the match tomorrow.
"You've been doing your makeup for about 40 minutes now." I hear Luis complain, lying flat on his back on top of my bed.
"I could be meeting my future Italian husband out there! Come on, let me look cute for tonight."
I darken up my eye makeup, coloring my waterline with a black pencil to contrast my white dress.
I then drench my face in setting spray, fanning it dry with a random brochure, I found on the nightstand.
"Besides, you're wrinkling your clothes, stand up. I can't have you looking bummy! What if you find yourself a pretty lady?" I wink, struggling to hold back a laugh at the unimpressed expression he sends me.
I finally stand up from the chair, smoothing down my dress in front of the mirror, and adjust the slit a little.
"We can go now!"
"Are you drinking?"
"No, not feeling it tonight." I mutter, eyeing the delicious-sounding food on the menu.
I look up, watching Luis flip through the menu.
"I'm going to order a pizza."
"Why pizza?" He asks, looking at me.
"We are practically in the birthplace of pizza. Are you judging me?" I ask, raising a brow at him.
"Just get it, I'm not judging you.." He raises his hands as if to surrender.
"You're so mean when you're hungry." He mumbles, closing his menu.
"Just appreciate the fact that I dragged you here. Look at how beautiful the view is.
I turn, admiring the view behind the glass panels of the restaurant. The Vesuvius mountain and the water are absolutely breathtaking, especially right now during sunset.
He sighs at me in agreement, looking around to find a waiter for us to finally order our food.
I watch him order for the both of us, getting distracted by the view, and turn towards him when the waiter leaves.
"If you get hammered, I'll leave you here.."
"So, now you want to find an Italian girlfriend?" I ask Luis bewildered, watching him walk - no stumble in front of me.
The drinks he ordered were good, so good he felt inclined to ordered multiple of them. I didn't keep count, but he definitely had more than his limit, which made him the drunk mess he was right now.
"Of course, you're my best friend. We should each find a person to marry!" He slurs, walking towards the docks.
I sigh deeply, looking down at my heels, before jogging up to him, clutching onto his shirt tightly.
"You're going to fall into the water!" I shout, trying to hold him back from the edge, but he shouts in protest.
"It's fine, maybe one of these hot people will save me from drowning."
Oh my god
I look up to where he's pointing, seeing a group of people on an expensive-looking catamaran. I'm way too distracted to realize my grip on Luis has loosened, and watch him leave. I see him greet the partying people loudly. I close my eyes in embarrassment, wanting to jump into the water out of shame.
Who even parties on a random Monday evening?
I surprisingly hear someone shout something in what sounds like Italian. I turn my head, eyes searching as I turn my attention to the person.
My eyes meet the eyes of a tall, brown-eyed, beautifully sun-kissed man. His blue linen shirt halfway unbuttoned.
He looked like, and definitely is trouble.
I hear him say something again, and my eyes widen when they go back to Luis, who looks like he's having the time of his life with two girls.
"English?" I hear the beautiful stranger ask.
I nod, watching him walk towards the dock and then, interestingly enough, reach for my hand.
I would never leave Luis alone on this boat full of strangers. Therefore, I reluctantly grab the guy's hand as he pulls me onto the boat.
"Hi?" I greet, raising a brow. Quickly smoothing my dress down.
"Hello, and your name is?" He asks, eyes roaming up and down my body, definitely checking me out. The Aussie accent practically melting me on the spot, making it difficult for my jaw to stay closed.
He was the definition of trouble.
But I needed to get my mess of a friend off this damn boat and leave.
"y/n, yours?" I ask, pretending to be more interested than I am, sneakily glancing at Luis.
"I'm Chris. You're not from here, are you?"
Obviously not
"No, I'm actually from Valencia."
A white lie, he didn't have to know anything about me.
"Valencia, Spain? What are you and your friend doing here?"
"Visiting, for fun." I lie again, giving him a smile.
"Really? Having fun so far?" He smiles, his pearly white teeth blinding me.
"Yeah, a lot of fun." I reply, my brows raising in fake interest.
I watch him chuckle, his plump lips curling up. His arm going up to run a hand through his blonde locks.
"Care for a drink, then?"
As beautiful as this man was, I wasn't naive enough to accept a drink from him. Especially, since we were in a totally different country.
"I'm fine, actually. I'm leaving tomorrow, so I'm trying to not drink as much."
"Oh, you probably came to watch the Champions League game then?"
Got me, kind of.
I immediately pull a sour face, pretending to be disgusted.
"Of course not, I have better things to do than attend a Real Madrid match. If it wasn't for Valencia, I'd be for Barcelona anyway.."
That one physically hurt to say.
"Oh- don't get mad now." He teases, putting his hands up, his smile getting wider.
I had to leave hastily, at least before this man got me into his bed.
"You're fine. I'm just trying to get my friend and leave. You alright with that?"
"Let me get your number first. Don't think I'll forget you after tonight." He says, handing me his phone.
I was curving the man left and right, and he still wanted my number?
"I don't really give out my number. But I can give you my Instagram handle?"
"That's fine." He says, clicking on his Instagram.
I watch his screen, my eyes accidentally catching the number of girls on his explore page.
No way, this man was looking for something serious.
"Oh, I'll type it in. If that's alright?" I say, reaching for his phone. He nods, handing me the device.
I quickly type in my username, pressing follow.
To snoop a little further, I go back to the explore page, seeing more ass and boobs than I had prepared for. Pretending to be unfazed as I clear the Instagram tab and hand his phone back to him.
I mean, their bodies were amazing, but why the hell was he following them?
"That's it. Here you go. My phone is dead, so I'll talk to you later?" I say, fidgeting with my handbag. My social battery was dying even faster than normal tonight.
I watch him nod, his eyes on me, as I immediately make my way to Luis, who's now sitting with a random girl.
"Hi, sorry to interrupt, but we have to leave."
I grab onto Luis' arm, using all my strength to get him up. Noticing the amount of shot glasses and empty beer bottles in front of them.
How the hell did he manage to do that so fast?
Idiot.
"Wait, do you want his Instagram?" I ask the girl. She hesitates before nodding looking at us confused.
"Okay, well, let me spell it for you."
I spell his username quickly, turning away.
"Yes, that's it. We're not a thing, by the way- he's my brother. Bye!"
Another lie, but maybe it would help him in the long run.
"Let's go, come on." I groan, dragging Luis back to the hotel.
It was doable until he started leaning his body on me, making me slump partially. My heels beginning to hurt my feet more than ever.
After a good ten minutes of struggling, we finally enter the elevator of the hotel, his body weight starts to pile on me. Arriving at our correct floor I drag him out, a huge sigh of relief leaving my lips as I recognize some of our Real Madrid players.
"Help." I mumble, watching some of them recognize the fact that I was half-suffocating.
I watch Antonio, Aurélien, and Jude, of all people, walk towards us, getting drunk and passed out Luis off of me.
"Thank you." I sigh, fixing myself, watching Antonio comically throw Luis onto one of the seats there.
"What happened to him?" I hear Brahim say as I try to catch my breath and I readjust my grip on my bag.
"Long story."
"Let's put him to bed first." Antonio says, making me nod. All of our eyes moving to a passed-out Luis.
"So, he got into a random boat?" Federico asks, looking at me.
I nod, trying to hold back a laugh while I drink my water. The cardigan I had retrieved from my room keeping me warm as we sat in the sky lounge.
"I would've partied." I look up at Cama, shaking my head.
"They were strangers, come on! But- one guy did approach me." I say, sending him a smug look.
"So you had some fun!"
"Look, he was cute. He offered me a drink, but I refused."
"That's it? Come on..”
"Why are you all up in my business?" I joke, being half-serious, hearing some of them laugh.
I finish my cup of water, beginning to stand up from my seat.
"It's getting late, I'm going up to my room. Don’t make it late, you guys need to rest well!" I say, waving after they send me off with kind words.
I press the elevator button, crossing my arms as I wait for it to arrive. The doors open a few seconds later, and I step in. I raise my head in surprise when I see an arm hold the doors open. Surprise turns into irritation when I notice Jude step in.
"Why did you follow me?" I ask, playing with the clasp on my bag.
"You know, not everything is about you." He mutters, a fed-up expression on his face. I sigh, closing my eyes in impatience, as I lean against the elevator wall.
The elevator makes a noise, and I check the floor number, getting out, hearing him follow me.
I start rummaging through my handbag for my room-key. Finally, fishing it out as we walk up to our respective rooms.
I arrive at my door, hearing Jude walk up to his own, his room interestingly enough being across from mine.
I go to scan my card but freeze, realizing my door is open by a small sliver.
"Why is my door open?" I mumble to myself, trying to subdue my instant panic.
"What?" I hear, seeing Jude walk up to me from the corner of my eye. His eyes darting in between me and the door.
"You left it open, probably." He responds, not an ounce of concern in his voice.
"You think?"
"Yeah, since you're so good with doors-"
"Okay, stop right there." I mutter, pushing the door open further. I flick the light on, looking around cautiously.
I hear him scoff at my behavior, and I turn around to look at him.
"Can you check the room?" I ask, trying to sound as nice as possible.
"No." He deadpans, giving me a bored look.
I hold back a string of cuss words, stepping into the room as he stands at the doorway.
"Stay here at least, before I get murdered."
"Would be a sight." He mutters, voice laced with humor. Though, I found it difficult to see this situation as funny.
"You're not funny. Are you aware of that?" I ask, punching into the curtains to check if anyone's hiding behind them.
"Find anything, detective?"
"Shut up." I whisper, going to open the bathroom door, hesitating for a moment.
Adrenaline starts pumping through my veins. I try to take deep breaths to prepare for a fight.
"What if someone's actually here?" I whisper, my eyes wide, as I turn to look at Jude.
I watch his expression harden, his jaw tensing as he looks at me.
"What do you mean?!" I hear Jude whisper back. His voice is hushed and more low than usual.
I take off both of my heels, ready to bash the possible intruder’s head in with my heels.
"Call security." I whisper, preparing to fight. I watch him take out his phone, before he raises his head again. His expression darkens for a moment before it changes into something- else...
"What are you doing, idiot? Come here." He says, and I can almost make out a vein popping out of his forehead.
All of the sudden, he makes his way over to me, grabbing my wrist and dragging me out of my room. Shutting the heavy door behind me, his hands coming up to my shoulders.
"What is wrong with you? You don't even know if they're with a weapon or anything!" He shouts in a hushed voice, his Brum accent more prominent than ever.
I continue staring at him, my lips parting in realization.
Damn, I was such a shallow thinker in times of crisis.
My mind turns blank, not acknowledging Jude's presence anymore. I can only hear him sigh and mumble something as security from both the club and hotel arrive at my room.
"Could you take her somewhere else, sir?” I hear someone say, feeling my wrist being pulled abruptly by Jude.
I follow him blindly, but I try to look back at my room. Wanting to see if someone would actually appear out of my room.
"Don't look." I hear, looking in front of me again as I’m brought into the hotel room across from mine. Nicer and bigger, definitely his.
"Sit down." He orders, pulling my wrist again and making me sit on one of the cushioned chairs.
I oblige without protest, too dazed to react in a snarky way. The silence in the room feels like hours when only being about ten minutes. It is finally cut off as Jude's phone starts ringing loudly.
I hear him speak for a few minutes before he hangs up. I watch him walk towards me as he sits in the chair next to me.
"No one was there, they checked the cameras as well. You left the door open."
I cringe, realizing my own initial mistake. A shudder runs through me as he explains.
"Oh, great!" I mumble sarcastically, feeling embarrassed, fidgeting with the fabric of my dress. Only now realizing I was barefoot, my heels probably fell out of my grasp when he pulled me out of the room.
I get up when he finishes explaining, walking up to the door. Pulling my soft cardigan closer to soothe myself.
"Where are you going?" I hear Jude ask. I turn and look back at him.
"Back to my room." I say, suddenly feeling the day's exhaustion take effect. My vision becoming blurry as I feel an ache make its way to my head.
This day alone probably took five years off my lifespan.
I hear him sigh as he walks up to me. Feeling him put his hand on my right shoulder.
"What?" I ask, looking him up and down. Trying to shrug his hand off of my shoulder.
I watch his jaw tense again, his grip on my shoulder getting tighter, though, not getting to the point of hurting.
I open my mouth to speak again, as he doesn't bother to answer my question. Unfortunately, I’m stopped by a sharp pain shooting through my head.
I groan in pain, placing my hands on my temples as I squeeze my eyes shut.
"What's wrong?" I hear him whisper, his other hand making its way to my left shoulder.
"I'm fine..." I dismiss, taking his hands off my shoulders. I reach for the door handle, pulling it down and stepping out of the room.
I tap my card against the sensor hurriedly and open my door, turning to see his door across the hallway already shut.
"Doesn't even care to watch me go inside." I mutter, ridding myself of my clothes and taking a much-needed shower. Trying to wash off all my stress and embarrassment.
When I'm done, I make a beeline to my bed, closing my eyes and forcing myself to sleep. I shift and turn, groaning in frustration as I turn my pillow around for the nth time.
It's like my sleep was robbed of me within minutes. My thoughts keeping me up. I check the time, realizing it was almost two in the morning.
I begin getting fully paranoid, my stupid brain making up the craziest scenarios imaginable.
I bury my face deeper into my pillow, forcing my brain to shut up. Finally, managing to fall asleep, too tired to keep my anxious walls up.
"You look like a truck ran you over."
"Shut up." I snarl replying to Jude. Trying to ignore him further as I continue eating my food, Luis sitting across from me at the breakfast buffet.
I had gotten maybe five hours of sleep. My three layers of concealer weren’t doing its job today. It had creased within minutes of application.
I roll my eyes as he sits at the table next to us, probably to annoy me further.
“Someone get this weirdo away from me..” I say loudly, closing my eyes in prayer.
I hear Jude scoff, following it up with a laugh.
"Were you born insufferable, or do you practice in the mirror before going to bed?" I ask, poking at my food.
I hear him chuckle again, which makes my blood boil even more. I glance at Luis, seeing a grin forming on his face.
"You too?"
I had told him everything that had happened last night, him feeling embarrassed but finding it hilarious at the same time.
He did promise he'd make it up to me.
"Don't forget how I dragged your ass from the dock to the hotel. I could've easily left you there."
I threaten, looking at Luis as I shove another spoonful of food in my mouth.
I see Jude open his mouth, but I stop him with a hand as my phone rings. My dad calling me right at the perfect moment.
"Oops, sorry, too busy for whatever you want to say."
I realize how immature I sound, but I digress. I get up and answer the call. Chatting to my dad about the past few days.
I signal for Luis to stop filming, patting his back to commend him for his hard work after the final whistle is blown. A nice 3-2 putting us on top of the table.
"They played really well."
I hum, posting the last social media post and turning to him.
"Right, if they keep playing like this, we'll definitely end up at the top of table C for sure."
"We'll go far. That's without question."
We make our way inside, trying to rush to get inside on time.
"Hugo is saying to interview both Frederico and Jude." I mutter, rereading the text message.
"That's fine, let's just wait here until they're ready." He says, both of us waiting in front of the changing room as they pile inside. Tired expressions on all of their faces.
"By the way, have you seen this one guy that's working here? He's so cute for you." I hear Luis say, looking up at him confused.
"Which one?" I ask, fidgeting with the cable of the camera.
"I'll show you when I see him." He says, and I give him a look.
"He better be cute, since you're making me wait."
"Alright, that's it." I announce, looking at Jude. Finally wrapping up his interview.
"Thank you." He mutters, with less attitude this time. Probably way too tired to have a petty fight with me. I wasn't disappointed with that, to be honest. I couldn't stand speaking to him anymore.
"See you on the bus, man." I hear Jude say, giving Luis a handshake as he begins walking away. My eyes follow him, piercing into his back.
"See, that's the guy I was talking about." I hear Luis say, my head snapping towards the direction he was looking at.
"Which one-" I begin, shamelessly looking at the guy.
"What? No, are you serious?" I ask, appalled by the person he’s shipping me with.
"Yeah, he's cute for you." He mutters, giving me a smirk.
"You might be hungover still. Let's just get into the bus, please."
We pack our equipment up, starting to walk towards the team buses. Successfully helping fellow staff with the multiple suitcases and bags and stepping up into the vehicle.
We greet the players we make eye contact with, the both of us walking along the occupied seats until we finally find two empty ones next to each other.
"I'm tired..." I mumble, leaning my back against the seat, closing my eyes as I get comfortable. Leaving my phone on my lap.
"I can see that." I hear Luis reply, and I open one of my eyes to give him an offended look.
"How sweet of you." I reply, trying to take a quick fifteen-minute nap. Running around for more than two hours with five hours of sleep was not for the weak.
I was part of the weak.
I hear the sound of a notification, surprised it could be heard through all of the chatter and banter of everyone in the bus.
"Was that your phone?" I ask, leaning my head against the window.
"No, it was yours." Luis answers.
"Can you read it for me? You know my password."
I feel my phone being removed from my lap, a second of silence from Luis before he starts laughing uncontrollably.
"What?" I ask, getting curious.
What could be that funny?
"It's a DM from a Chris on Instagram."
"Who the fuck is Chris?" I ask, finally opening my eyes to take my phone back. My eyes roaming around the screen, reading a short message with a 'view once’ photo.
"Thought you repped Valencia?"
I read the message out loud, looking back at Luis, confused. Then I look at the profile picture.
"Oh my god! It's the guys from the boat!" I shout, embarrassed when I realize I was being louder than necessary.
"The one you talked about?"
"Yeah- wait, what do you think the photo is?" I ask, starting to feel squirmy.
"A dick pic." I hear Luis whisper.
"Who got a dick pic?"
I hear someone ask, looking at the row behind me. Jude peeking his head in between our headrests.
"Not you, so mind your own business.." I reply, moving my phone out of his view and returning to my conversation with Luis. Ignoring the daggers he’s sending me with his piercing gaze.
"No way, gross. He looked desperate, but no way."
"Well, click on it."
"No, now I'm scared. Why would you even bring that up?"
"Just squint."
I huff, leaning back against the widow, squinting as I press on the photo.
"Oh-" I exclaim, taking a deep, relieved breath.
Thankfully, it’s not an explicit picture, but a photo of me at the stadium we were just at, prematch to be specific. From the angle, you could tell the photo was taken from the stands.
"Wait- what the fuck? He was there? Ew, why did he take a photo of me?” I say, showing Luis the screen.
I watch his mouth fall open. He reaches over, taking my phone from me and screenshots the photo.
"That's why he sent that message. You lied to him about yourself, right?"
"Of course I did!" I say, snatching the phone from his hand.
"What do I say?" I ask, looking at him with a questioning look.
"Do you even want to speak to him?"
"Well- I'm bored?" I give him a grin, his arm coming to push me.
“I can’t stop you, but you said he looked like trouble, so ignore him..." He advises, squeezing my arm.
I nod at his words, taking them in. I swipe to press the mute button on the chat, and turn my phone off.
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham x reader#jude x reader#jude bellingham imagine#real madrid fc#jude bellingham fanfic#footballer x reader#football imagines#football fanfic#football imagine#bellingham x reader#real madrid
214 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hils Watches The King's Avatar - Ep 40
It doesn't feel like 5 minutes ago that I started this drama. It's so very bingeable.
It's been a real journey. None of this has been what I expected beyond the very basic concept of 'it's a drama about esports'. There have been so many wonderful surprises. There are characters that I hated that I now love, characters that I loved that I now love even more, and more ships than I ever expected to ship.
While I'm at it I want to say a heartfelt thank you to everyone who has popped up in the replies to my posts or in my asks to either answer my questions or just yell about their favourite characters. I can tell this drama (and the novel and donghua) are so well loved and liveblogging this has really felt like a community experience. Thank you for not laughing at all the stuff I got wrong and for not making fun of me for shipping everyone. It's really been so wonderful and I almost don't want to press play on the final episode because I don't want it to be over.
But I need to see what happens so let's go!
Ah, okay. I misunderstood what happened at the end of the last episode. I thought they'd lost the game but no they could still win they just didn't have enough points to win the championship.
Is there going to be some loophole like the whole 'oh the ref's watch broke so actually you won'
HAHA! I fucking knew it! They got an extra two points for beating a league record. Because apparently that is a rule that has never been mentioned until now.
Eh, whatever. There was a nice moment with the fans before the found out they'd won
Ye Xiu finally gets the hug that he's needed since episode 1
Good lord how is there 30 minutes left? What's going to happen now that they've won?
God I hope Sun Xiang punches him
Except of course he won't because he's all grown up now. Also, typically it's the coaches/managers that get fired when a team does badly. I hope he gets booted
Love Shaotian dragging Wenzhou to his feet so he can cheer
Remember when their entire fanbase was just this guy. I'm definitely not crying at all
Look at that little half smile. He's grown so much considering they only lost on a technicality. I do think he's at least a little bit happy for Ye Xiu as the better player (for now)
GDI I can't believe I'm crying over Sun Xiang AGAIN
LOL remember when I thought he was going to be the antagonist of the drama when I watched the first episode. How wrong I was
Haha yes let's have a little joke about the time when I nearly banned you for life in the middle of an important game and caused your team to lose as a result
I have in no way been thinking about writing some King's Avatar fic with one based on the fact that Ye Xiu passes out after one drink
HAHA! Mo Fan pretended to pass out too so he doesn't have to talk to anyone. He is such a mood
Oh shit! I did not see that coming!
Oh no he looks so sad to see his former team like this, and it's understandable. He built that team from the ground up and put so much time and work into making them the legends they were
Yes, good. Baozi is cuddling one of his boyfriends as he should
Ah, yay, I'd forgotten about the team graphic. Time to add one more person right before the end
And finished! That was wonderful! Definitely in my top 5 dramas that I've watched this year. Might even be the number one, actually. I definitely should have watched that years ago when people first told me to give it a try. But, you know, I firmly believe you find things when you were meant to find them. Now was good.
I'll be starting a new drama tomorrow. If you were just here for my King's Avatar posts it's been lovely to have you. If you're sticking around for other liveblogs I'll see you tomorrow for more yelling :D
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Language Study Challenges I've been contemplating, but I just do not have the time to do it all. ToT I think some of these could result in some good progress over a few months, as a period to see how much the challenge is helping you improve in your specific goals.
Glossika: attempt to study 2000 new sentences in the course in a month, doing reviews only if you have spare time. May require 1-2 hours of study time a day, but the studying can be done as just listening, so you can do it while also doing other things. Getting through 2000 new sentences in glossika will take around 40-60 hours (I think it took me 40 hours). If the method is working well for making progress on your improvement goals, then keep doing for 3 months and you will cover 6000 sentences, then the 4th month study the last 400 sentences in the course and finally start prioritizing reviews. Spend end of 4th month reviewing, and do a final 5th month of reviews if desired. (Do reviews more than me if you prefer that, do speaking practice with course if desired for your particular goals, do reading practice with course sentences of desired for your particular goal). This can be completed in ~3 to 5 months, so you can make some significant progress and see how well (or not) it worked for your goals in a somewhat shorter amount of time. (I'm doing this challenge now).
Listen to an audiobook: find an audiobook you like (I'm using SCI), attempt to listen to it in as short a time period as possible (that's possible for you), aiming for at least 1-2 hours of listening a day (on average). Since its just listening, it can be done while doing some other activities. If you pick an audiobook shorter than 60 hours long, pick a few audiobooks so that listening 2 hours a day would result in eventually listening to 60 hours in a month. If desired, the next month you can pick to re-listen to the same audiobooks again (for repetition and to see if you understand more the next time around). For me, the goal with this is to INCREASE practice listening to a LOT of dense speaking. So for me, perfectionism will try to kick in and I'll try to re-listen to the same chapter over and over. So for me, this goal is to FINISH listening to an audiobook. The SCI audiobook I'm listening to is around 60 hours. Guardian by priest is around 50 hours. A lot of Chinese webnovels will easily be 40 hours or much longer, if you want something long to keep listening to the same word choices and grammar patterns and plot of one author. If you pick shorter audiobooks, picking the same author may help keep the vocabulary and grammar more familiar to you over time. (I'm doing this challenge).
Comprehensible Input Challenge (for total beginners): Dreaming Spanish gives an estimate of 50 hours to learn 300 words, and 150 more hours (so 200 hours total) to learn 1,500 words. 1,500 words is a great foundation to starting to try shows if you are okay looking key words up every few minutes, novels for kids if you're willing to look key words up, graded readers, simple conversations, videos for learners which don't have as many visual aids for understanding, and the broader world of being able to learn more new words with SURROUNDING words as your context for guessing, instead of only or often primarily visual clues. Dreaming Spanish labels that as Level 3, 1,500 words learned, can watch Intermediate Dreaming Spanish videos. (From their site "Now you can listen to videos or classes in which the teacher doesn't use as much visual input, and may even be able to take advantage of really easy audios and podcasts that are catered to learners at your level. Crosstalk is still the best way to spend your time. At this level it becomes easier than before to do crosstalk over the internet using video call software, so you won't need to find native speakers where you live anymore. Reading is still not recommended if you care about your final achievement in pronunciation, but it starts becoming possible to understand lower level graded readers"). So for a total beginner the challenge would be to get through 50 hours of Comprehensible Input lessons for Superbeginners/Absolute Beginners/B0 (depends on the youtube account for what the first beginner videos are labelled). Just plan 1-2 hours of video lessons per day. Then for months 2, 3, 4, keep doing 50 hours a month and you'll hit that approximate 1,500 words known level. At that point, you should find non-comprehensible input made lessons such as beginner learner podcasts and graded readers become somewhat understandable, and media in the target language may in some cases be understandable if you're willing to look up key words and feel the initial "very tired/drained from focusing hard" part that always happens at first.
Comprehensible Input Challenge (for upper beginners): Assuming you know 1,500 to 2,000 words - or skill wise, you can handle understanding beginner graded readers and some beginner dialogues in learner materials, and can handle some content in the target language for native speakers IF it's on the easier side and you can look a key word up for meaning every few minutes (so for example: you can follow a Peppa Pig episode, or a Spongebob episode, aka a cartoon for kids, if you look up key words every few minutes - alternatively, if you can watch a simple romance daily life show and follow the main plot if you look up key words). Your goal as an intermediate learner: watch 300 hours of Comprehensible Input Lessons labelled "Intermediate." 300 hours will take you from that upper beginner area you're at (1,500 words learned) to 3,000 words learned. That will get you to the point of (from Dreaming Spanish site): being able to talk to patient native speakers and may be able to make friends and lamguage exchange partners, get through daily life stuff like shopping with words although it may be a struggle, can learn new words mainly from surrounding word context now (so picking up new words from things you engage with is going to start picking up more so listening to stuff and watching stuff outside of lessons will result in learning more words - shows, podcasts, entertainment), graded readers will still be more comfortable but you can wade into more books for native speakers (especially if you're willing to look up key words for main idea). At 3,000 words, media for native speakers will still feel difficult but it should feel significantly LESS difficult than it did when you knew 1,500 words. When I knew 1500 words I could start watching cdramas with no english subtitles, but I looked up key words every 1-3 minutes and felt exhausted within 5-20 minutes. Once I had studied 3000 words, I could watch simpler romance slice of life cdramas for 40 minutes (episode length) without feeling drained, and look up key words once every 5 minutes. (Although keep in mind: the first time you watch shows or read novels, it will feel Exhausting until you get used to it, even if you know many thousands of words... you have to practice reading/listening stamina, even if you have a bigger vocabulary). So a 300 hour study of intermediate level lessons, should give you a significant boost in your language skills. You could do 50 hours a month, 1-2 hours a day, and finish in 6 months. You could do 60 hours a month (2 hours a day) and finish in 5 months. You could do 90 hours a month (3 hours a day - probably more than the average person has time for but this is a challenge after all lol!) and finish in 3.3 months. A huge jump like that in 3 months would be awesome! (I did that kind of jump in 6 months... when I started chinese I cram studied 2000 words and 1500 hanzi in 6 months, then reviewed for 2 months by watching shows and graded readers, then for 4 months I read a TON of webnovel chapters and picked up another 1000 words and ~500 hanzi). So yeah, 1.6 hours to 3 hours a day of study for a few months, aiming for 50-90 hours of Comprehensible Input Lessons for Intermediate Learners on youtube per month for 3.3-6 months.
Comprehensible Input Challenge (for intermediate learners) : This is where I am (for Japanese). 600 hours to go from the last level to this, to learn 5,000 words total. (As you know... I'm attempting to use Glossika japanese to learn 5000 words instead, so I'll report how that goes). 600 hours unfortunately cannot be done in 3 months with a comfortable study plan - I think, for me at least, a comfortable study plan I know I can commit to is going to need to be 2 hours a day or less (on average). 600 hours would take ~10 months to go through at 2 hours a day. Now granted, 10 months isn't so long in the grand scheme. But if you, like me, can motivate yourself to read novels or watch shows at this point, then 600 hours of youtube lessons sounds so boring. Although... I guess for my japanese level, watching shows still feels exhausting (podcasts for learners feel okay though, like Nihongo Con Teppei, so maybe I should listen to hundreds of hours of that?). Find the intermediate/advanced video comprehensible input lessons on youtube for the language you're studying, and go wild. It should take 10 months unless you study more hours per day then I can. (I think this is a sobering realization, right as I type, that it probably is going to take 600ish hours of SOME form of Japanese study to get me to the level I want to be at... maybe I'll try to just slog through a japanese novel ebook... I can sometimes motivate myself to read for 4 hours a day, I like reading...). Note: if I do this challenge later, it'll be with Comprehensible Japanese youtube videos for Intermediate and Advanced. Significant progress you should see once you've learned around 5,000 words (from Dreaming Spanish): You'll be able to understand more advanced materials for learners. Listen to audios and podcasts daily if you want to learn fast. Crosstalk is still as good as always. You may start feeling you are not getting much out of getting input about daily life topics. Try getting input about new topics. Easier TV programs and cartoons should be accessible too. The purists who want to get really close to a native speaker and get a really good accent may still want to hold off on speaking and reading for a little more, but if you do start speaking and reading it's not a big deal by this point. You'll still end up with better pronunciation and fluency than the vast majority of learners. If you want to start reading, by this point you'll be able to understand books targeted at children of lower grade levels, and you can skip over graded readers. From me: if you're looking key words up for the main idea when watching shows, you should now be able to watch many shows in familiar genres and just look up 1 word every 5 minutes or so. If you've got a decent ability to guess, and practiced getting used to media for native speakers already, then like I was in Chinese - you will probably feel comfortable watching MANY shows in genres you're familiar with, without looking up anything. You will feel especially comfortable with easier shows like cartoons and romance daily life stuff, and things you've watched before. If you've been practicing reading before this, then once you know 5000 words you will find you need to look key words up less often and can focus more on enjoying stories, and looking words up because you desire their specific meaning/to fully understand details, not necessarily because you need the words meaning to grasp the main idea (I did a LOT of intensive reading around this period in Chinese because I could finally extensively read for plot, so I'd look up every unknown word I saw to grasp the other details and increase my vocabulary... and because the amount of unknown words to look up was now manageable).
#rant#language challenge#challenge#challenges#october progress#study plan#october study plan#my actual japanese study plan? despite desires to try Comprehensible Input lessons ... (and id love to try with Spanish or Thai)#i am just going to GET THROUGH glossika for japanese. then listen to a lot of Nihongo Con Teppei.#after that? im hoping to move onto watching shows or reading. because i just... if im being honest. my perfectionism might kick in with ll#lessons. and i want to avoid perfectionism.#also... i just find them a bit boring. i know too much japanese for the comprehensible japanese lower intermediate to be interesting... its#all stuff i kmow. but i know just little enough that the Advanced lessons feel just as draining mentally as when I watch jdramas in japanese#with no subs... and if they feel/equally exhausting id rather just watch a show
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Current Things Tag Game
Thanks for the tag @allalrightagain 💚
current time: 12:19
current activity: getting set up to do some editing for the first time in weeks (the editing has not actually started yet and yes I'm on tumblr which is probably not helping the 'getting started' bit)
currently thinking about: a delivery that should be here in like 40 minutes, I'll finally have a set of drawers for my closet and I can clear some of the boxes out of there!!
current favourite song: I've barely listened to music the last couple weeks due to a lack of internet and discovering that I hadn't downloaded my spotify playlists, but probably All I've Built by Holden Miller
currently reading: I just finished Paolini's Inheritance Cycle but I haven't actually started anything new yet (I did read all 4 books in 4 days, yes)
currently watching: I've been rewatching Bones and if we count youtube I've also been watching/listening to Brennan Lee Mulligan's A Crown of Candy campaign
current favourite character: Not to steal LT's answer but definitely Harry, always Harry 🥰 and Remus is a very, very close second
current wips: well, build me no shrines (as always) and Untagged. and then I don't think of them so much as WIPs since that would require them to be in progress and I've very much stopped working on them, but I've got my tomarry project that i shoved into a long forgotten folder, a couple one shots that I left half finished, and a D&D wip that I want to write and definitely will one day when I've got more than a teaspoon of energy.
Tagging: @girl-with-goats @nanneramma @bluestringpudding @venom0usbarbie @gloivy
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Home
May 11, 2024
After two weeks of saying "I want to go home" and "I need to go home", I'm finally here, and honestly, I feel worse than I've felt in a long time. I don't know if anyone has noticed, probably not, I haven't seen too many people.
My grandma did say I lost a lot of weight, but I already knew that. I mean, I haven't weighed myself, but I haven't really eaten much in the two and a half weeks since I last saw you. I've been wondering how much I weigh, just haven't really gotten around to it I guess. Funny how I'm writing yet another long note that you'll never read. Not funny, actually. Embarrassing. I've been thinking a lot about you, as usual. I don't think I've gone a day without thinking about you since I met you. Crazy to think about, and it's making me feel crazy too. I've been in such a daze these past few days. I don't want to do anything, I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to see anyone. I'm just here, existing in my world without you. This is probably the lowest I've been in years. I haven't showered since Wednesday I think. Whenever the last time I spoke to you was. I'm going to shower today after I finish writing this. I just needed to get my thoughts out of my head. I want to cry but the tears aren't ready to come out I guess.
The more I think about you, the less I understand why I want to be with you. You don't want me. You've made that clear. Whenever we're not together, you treat me like shit. I still don't think you actually care about me, because how could you treat me like this if you did? You told me you're not a good person, and I'm beginning to see that more and more. I go through waves of emotions. One minute I'm mad at you and I don't ever want to see you again, the next minute I'm in tears just wishing you would come back.
I prayed for you. I never pray, but I did for you. I prayed for healing over you. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I remember praying that you would heal from whatever is hurting you. I'll admit, my prayer was probably coming from a selfish place. Truth is, I want you to heal so we can be together. But then again, even when you do heal, who says you'll want me then. I mean, honestly, I don't know how you actually feel about me. I never have. And I don't really trust everything you say because you've lied to me so much.
And I keep thinking, why do I want to be with you still. You've hurt me so much and I've only known you for a month and a half. You've lied to me so many times. You admitted to using me. You said that you could live without me which, fair enough, but still, ouch. You have me listening to country music on repeat.
And about the using me thing. Not only did you admit to that, but you admitted that you were using me to get back at her. Get back at her. Revenge. That's worse than being used to get over someone. To get back at her.
You dogged me so bad. You treated me like I was nothing. You still treat me like I'm nothing. You don't care. But I do, and I hate it. I hate that I don't hate you. I hate the way you treated me. But the way you treat me and you as a person are one and the same. So if I hate the way you treat me, why don't I hate you? Why does looking at your pictures and listening to your voice and reading our messages bring me peace? I watched your entire 40 minute stream today and felt the most calm I've felt in forever. Like, what the hell is that?
I'm in such a daze. I haven't felt happy in so long. I can't even remember the last time I was happy. If I'm not sad, I'm just nothing. The knot in my throat comes and goes, maybe a few tears will slip from my eyes ever now and then, every morning I wake up with a pain in my chest.
I'm trying to "decenter" you, as TikTok says to do. I think about you constantly, but I try not to fantasize about you. I try not to think about you coming back. I try not to think about what I would say to you if you still wanted to talk to me. I try not to think about you reaching out. But then again, I've been home for less than 24 hours and all I can think about is introducing you to my family, showing you around the town I grew up in, walking you through my home.
I often wonder if you ever think of me. Realistically, I don't think so, but I'm not you so I don't know.
Back to the prayer thing, because I didn't say everything I wanted to say about that. Although I do think my prayer came from a selfish place, that doesn't negate the fact that I do want you to heal. I want you to be happy. I mean, I want you to be happy with me, but even if you never choose me, I still want you to be happy. You dogged me so hard, and yet I would never wish anything bad on you. I'll admit, I did talk some shit about you after you ghosted me the second time, but I was really fucking angry so, my bad. I don't remember saying anything too bad though.
And that's another thing. My memory is so shitty lately. I mean, my memory is always shitty, but especially now. Yesterday I spent ten minutes looking for my purse because I forgot that I left it in my car. Today I completely forgot where I put my band aids even though I had them in my hand an hour ago. You're the only thing I can think about. I've been so forgetful lately because I'm always spaced out thinking about you. Even when I'm talking to other people, you're the only person I'm thinking about. I have to force myself to actively listen to people. My cousin was literally telling me about how someone she knows got stabbed in the head and I had such a delayed response to that because I wasn't listening.
I'm trying not to crash out. I mean, I'm really trying. I'm trying not to message you because I know you don't want me. I'm trying to do anything other than fall further down the hole I'm already in. I'm supposed to be applying for jobs because I still don't have one, and I can't even bring myself to look for my toothbrush to brush my teeth. Oh yeah, it's 2pm, I've been all over town, and I still haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face.
Why do I want to be chosen so badly by you? What is so special about you? I don't even know you.
You said in your stream that your ex bought you that Groot stand for your joystick. That hurt me, knowing that you still keep the stuff that she gave to you, even though it's not my place to be hurt over that. But it made me think, back when I thought that we were going to be together and that you were going to try to make this work, I was going to buy you something. A going away gift. I was going to give it to you before you moved to Oklahoma. But then you moved without telling me and ghosted me and got back with your ex so... And you did all that while actively entertaining me while I was practically begging you to come and see me because you only lived 20 minutes away at the time. Fun memories. I guess you saved me some money.
I have it in my mind for some reason that you're going to realize what you're missing out on and message me out of the blue telling me that you want to give us a chance. Rationally, it's most likely that you'll never come back and we're done for good. I can't even bring myself to say "I know you won't come back." Why? I mean, you won't. You said it yourself, you're in love with your ex. You were using me. You're still waiting for her to come back, again.
I need to get it together. I need to get a hobby. I need to get a job. I need to do anything except lay in bed all day thinking about you and looking at our pictures and stalking your TikTok. Because that's really pathetic. I'm better than this. I deserve better than you. But I'm a glutton for pain I guess. Every time I think I'm getting over you, I spiral again. Last week, I felt okay. Genuinely okay. I was accepting the fact that you weren't coming back. And then I added you on Snap, and you added me back. Which, genuinely, I didn't expect you to do. I don't know if you did it out of curiosity or if you did it because you... I don't even know how to finish that sentence. Care about me? I don't think you do. Genuinely, I don't. Were thinking about me? No, probably not. You're too busy thinking about her to think about me. You said you added me back because you thought I needed something. I don't know what to make of that. Why would you care if I needed something or not. I do need something, but you're not willing to give it to me.
I don't really have anything else to say right now. I'm sure I'll think of something else later. I'm going to get up now.
0 notes
Text
TvShowsOr... High Fidelity
Read my post about the song I Believe (When I Fall In Love It Will Be Forever)
In all fairness, there was no way that the TV version of High Fidelity could be bad. The show is based on a book, that was already adapted into a movie — that I think I'll never get the courage to watch because I can only imagine how much of a brocialist the guy in there must be — and has the perfect ingredients: New York, Zoë Kravitz, and good music. It's like cooking desserts with condensed milk and chocolate: it definitely can't go wrong.
Just the same, in all fairness, it would probably take me too long to give this show a chance, since I tend to be very picky with the productions I watch because I don't want to start something that could end up a) canceled or b) with too many seasons made just to squeeze the fruit until there's nothing left. With High Fidelity, I'm almost certain I read something about it being canceled, so, if it wasn't for the song I Believe, I would have missed this perfection for all my life.
Rob is the kind of girlboss we can't help but envy. We can't deny that people like that in real life can be mesmerizing. She doesn't care what people think about her. She doesn't try too hard to be herself. She just is what she is, and she is the kind of girl that goes on a date with a cut on her hand and with a coffee stain on her shirt. Me? No… I take myself too seriously to ever do that. But seeing her doing it makes me want to do it as well. In fact, in one of the episodes she drank a whole bottle of prosecco on her balcony, and there I was, a few days before, doing the same — on a park bench, feeling super self-conscious, but I did it regardless.
One thing about High Fidelity is that this is a show that breaks the fourth wall, something I wasn't expecting so it took me a bit of adjustment, but then again, I'm constantly pretending to break the fourth wall in my daily basis like the main character I am, so I don't even know why I thought the show would be good without it. Even so, sometimes I feel like someone should try this whole talking-with-the-viewer thing without looking at the camera, as if the character is just speaking to himself without anyone noticing. It could be something different. I just think they missed the opportunity to show someone noticing Rob talking to us, like it once happened in Fleebag, but maybe that would've been too on the nose.
Basically, Rob spends the ten episodes coming back and forth to her top 5 heartbreak list, which I found genius (I can totally see myself doing that), and we meet lots of doubtful ex-lovers, especially Mac, who is so… meh. Love is stupid, after all. Before finishing the show, I read a spoiler that led me to believe she would end up with him (maybe in the movie it's like that?), but thank God she didn't — even though it could have happened, since the season ended with a potential storyline there, even having a decent finale for a canceled show.
In total, we have 10 incredible episodes, with no one feeling like a filler (although the episode featuring the encounter with the eccentric wife selling records came close) but honestly, even if the series consisted of 23 episodes, each lasting 40 minutes like they used to in the old days, it still wouldn't be enough for me. One of the episodes is from the point of view of her best friend, Simon, which was a good change (especially because it showed another perspective on the day we previously saw on a Rob episode), but that felt pointless because her other friend, the awesome Cherise, didn't have the same treatment. She would've absolutely killed in one themed episode just for her, because she is just the best. Coming back to Simon, I have to say, how jealous I am that he found someone like Blake. He's just… so perfect. The actor, Edmund Donovan, is incredible and so familiar, so I gasped when I discovered I had watched Akron with him (and fell in love there as well).
It turned out that Da'vine doesn't sing her version of I Believe on the show, which is another fucking waste, but what a nice surprise was to discover that Thomas Doherty sings. Just like his character on the disastrous Gossip Girl reboot, he's so charming and sexy, and being a singer is just the icing on the cake. Ergh, lucky Rob. But at the end of the day, I was #TeamClyde all the way because how can't you not be with Jake Lacy being there, right?
As with any other New York show, High Fidelity made me love the city even more. It made me want to be there so bad and to have friends like Rob, to go crazy and wild. I feel so uptight sometimes, I wish I could be a messed-up trainwreck like she is, even though I kind of am. Or used to be, since I'm trying to be the best version of myself for my mental health. So I guess I can settle for being a record store owner. The list of intense heartbreak I already have, anyway.
0 notes
Text
Favorite Song From Each Country! Part 6/37: Ireland!
Aaaaand we're back with another addition to my little series! I'm posting a little earlier today since it seems like I'm actually making good time for once in my life! But that's good because who knows, maybe I can get a few future entries posted so I don't have to worry about them later! *I'd still have to hop on and update the link but that takes all but a minute of my time, I could do it while watching TV*
For New People: I've done a kinda sorta discography dive of Eurovision Songs from each of the participating 37 Countries in the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest and picked a favorite for each country in the years 2009 to the present. For some, I will be sharing my favorite song from the country and then my thoughts on the 2023 entry. For others, my favorite is the 2023 entry and I just talk about the one that got overthrown! Non-participating countries may or may not be tacked at the end, after which I will have a full list of favorites from each country. I just have to decide.
Let's roll! Next up is...Ireland!
Most Eurovision fans remember learning early on in their time in the fandom that Ireland was a total POWERHOUSE before the 21st Century, being the first country to win 7 times. I have no idea what happened to them afterward (I'm a newer Eurofan, so I'm still finding my footing...plus being from the US doesn't exactly help my case), but they've been on a rough patch, only having qualified for the Grand Final TWICE in the last 10 editions (2013 and 2018). Although, hot take here: Had the 2020 Contest not been cancelled, I think Ireland could have qualified for the Grand Final. I don't know where it would have finished, but that's all "what if?" at this point.
Favorite Entry: While I did hint at the intro for yesterday's post (Portugal) which one was my favorite, I did quite the opposite for today's posts. Like a couple other countries, my favorite for Ireland bounces around between mostly 2 entries. One of them being Brooke's sassy "That's Rich" from 2022, and the other being the one I will be talking about: Molly Sterling's "Playing With Numbers" from 2015. For one thing, I love breakup songs, despite never being in a romantic relationship. What I also love is when the breakup song isn't "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" but "I'm the one that messed up. I'm sorry." Which is exactly what "Playing With Numbers" is. A lot of people I've seen agree with me that this song was ROBBED of a Grand Final Spot (as was the aforementioned "That's Rich" at least imo). RANK: 12th in 2015 Semi-Final 2 (31st Overall)/PERSONAL RANK: 6th of 40 Countries) *NOTE: "That's Rich" ranked 15th in 2022 Semi-Final 2 (34th Overall) but ranked 4th of 40 Countries personally.*
Thoughts on 2023 Entry: I would like to start off with saying that both my mom and my sister have listened to the songs this year and both liked Wild Youth's "We Are One." However, while I liked listening to it, I just felt there was something...I don't know...missing from it all. Back to being nice about this entry (because that just felt mean in my eyes), it sounds like something in a young adult coming of age movie, which is not a bad thing at all. I don't have much else to say about this song, so I'll leave it at that. RANK: 12th in 2023 Semi-Final 1 (31st Overall)/PERSONAL RANK: 31st of 37 Countries
#esc#eurovision song contest#esc 2023#eurovision#eurovision 2023#wild youth#we are one#molly sterling#playing with numbers#Spotify
0 notes
Text
Don’t forget me
steve rogers x reader
Summary: Steve and reader are happily married, so what happens when a mission goes wrong and Steve is pronounced dead? And what if he comes back but she’s already in a relationship?
Warnings: Fluff, a lot of angst, main character death (?) but with a happy ending.
masterlist
Author’s note: Happy because i finished this in just a few hours, hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always appreciated.
Little caresses of soft fingers running up and down your bare back made you shiver, waking you up, your eyes flutter open.
You groaned and buried your face in the pillow. Steve's chuckle echoed throughout the room before you felt wet kisses being spread all over your lower back, slowly making their way up to your shoulders. Fingers moving your hair to one side exposing your right ear.
"Good morning, Dollface" he whispered in your ear in his husky voice, which honestly always sounds like that when he just woke up, and he bit your ear lobe making butterflies erupt in your stomach and making you a little giddy.��
You had spent the night in Steve's room, the light soft reddish color coming through the windows and painting the white walls of Steve's room making you aware that it was probably just dawn, the atmosphere was calm and familiar and his bed was certainly a thousand times more comfortable than yours could ever be.
"Good god, Steve. I bet you it's not even 6:00am" you mumbled sleepily, he might be a super soldier but you needed your 9 hours of sleep. Steve let out a chuckle in your ear again, bringing shivers all over your body.
"You really look cute when you're half asleep like that" he replied still talking into your ear, running his soft hand all over your back only to then grab your waist, letting his arm rest there. "I want to marry you."
You smiled before turning your body to be face to face with Steve knowing he wouldn't let you sleep anymore, you pulled the white silk sheet in your best effort to cover your body looking up at him. He was leaning on his left elbow, his right arm still wrapped around your waist, his torso was naked, the sheets on his hips.
"But I already said ‘I do’, baby" you smiled showing him the ring on your left hand and remembering your wedding day. You had been best friends for what seemed like forever before a mission which required you to pretend to be married led to you both confessing your feelings, then you had realized it had all been a plan by the others to finally get you to admit what they had already known for quite some time, that the mission never really required you to go as a couple, but you couldn't be mad at them, quite the opposite, you felt a deep gratitude towards them, because you would never have been able to do it on your own. A year later, Steve had taken you to the roof of the Compound where you could see the distant lights of the skyscrapers of New York, where he had prepared you a dinner with your favorite meals and a bottle of wine and had gotten down on one knee, opening the little red velvet box with the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, he really was a 40s man, full of romance and chivalry. Six months later you were married.
"Right, but I'm talking about a vow renewal, I just can't believe you're mine, you're like a dream" he let out, the pink painting his cheeks matching yours. His dirty blonde hair was a mess and his eyes sparkled with pure adoration.
"You really are full of compliments today, huh?" you smiled bringing your hand to his hair and giving it a little squeeze. You loved this Steve, he had always been romantic and protective of you, but this Steve, the one you only knew in the early morning hours was driving you crazy, the sentimental Steve, full of compliments and caresses and without shirt on. The Steve who could look into your soul with just one look and that lazy smile. The one only you knew.
"Stop complaining, you know you love it" he said smiling mischievously, like a little boy.
"I can't complain" you shrugged, sliding your fingers down his hard chest, imagining how good it would look with a couple of tattoos on it. You bit your lip thinking about it before returning your gaze to him, who already had his eyes on you, his eyes glowing, fingers at your waist squeezing. Before you could register what was happening, he had lunged towards you pressing his lips hard against yours, you sighed as you felt his lips sucking on yours and grabbed his cheeks pulling him closer to you, his hands taking your waist and lifting you up to get you on top of him, he bit your bottom lip asking for entrance but you put both hands on his chest putting distance between the two of you, ending the kiss and shaking your head. You still hadn't brushed your teeth.
He grunted with discontent and pouted, completely adorable, but kept his arms around your waist. You stroked his hair and he closed his eyes, sighing.
"I really love you" he let out, looking into your eyes, with an expression you couldn't read, he suddenly looked worried and even a little scared. "I would do anything to protect you, you know that right?".
You frowned.
"What is this all about?" you asked leaning your face on his chest looking into his eyes. “What’s on your mind?”
He shook his head before giving you a small smile, wanting you to forget the subject.
"It's the mission, isn't it?" you sighed.
He looked at you for a long moment and you knew the answer.
Steve along with Fury had been tracking a dangerous organization for months that for some reason were targeting Steve. They both believed it wasn't that big of a threat. They had only sent Steve a couple of death threats, but being Captain America and part of the Avengers, there were always enemies. But when one afternoon, a threat had come to you, Steve got to work and he and Fury had been tracking the origin of these for months and now they finally had a lead.
"It's probably nothing," he said, "don't worry about it, Fury will go with me on this one. Maybe the lead will be useless." You knew he didn't want to worry you but you couldn't help it, you wanted to go with him this afternoon but you as well as everyone else had other missions to attend to.
You nodded and kissed his chin reassuringly.
He placed a kiss on your forehead and released you by turning you to your side of the bed, before getting out of bed, putting on his sweatpants and putting on his white shirt.
It was your turn to pout, missing his warm body.
"Come on, Dollface." He said placing his palms on the mattress and leaning over to you "I'll make you those chocolate chip pancakes and when I get back from the mission we're going to watch that Jason Bourne movie you love so much."
You let out an excited squeal and hugged him by the neck pulling him back into bed.
"You sure know how to spoil a girl."
_
Steve never returned from that mission.
That afternoon you were in the kitchen preparing popcorn for movie night with Steve and the next minute, Fury had come out of the elevator doors, concern filling his face and honestly it was the most you had ever seen him show any emotion, he had quietly approached Tony, ignoring the greetings of the team that was hanging out in the living room, he had taken him to the briefing room and they had been inside for quite a while. You had been watching the elevator doors waiting for Steve to come out of them before deciding to ask Fury, but before you could even take a step, Tony had left the room and the moment you looked at his face, your stomach sank, a horrible feeling surrounding you. You had never seen Tony like that before, the look in his eyes was something you would never be able to describe, he was pale, his eyes seemed sunken and he kept looking nowhere in particular. A few moments later that seemed like hours, he had uttered the words that broke you inside.
Steve hadn't made it.
You don't remember much after that, all you remember is popcorn strewn all over the kitchen floor, a deafening scream that you never realized you had let out, and the pain in your knees as you fell to the floor. You remember screams coming from the others, asking Tony and Fury for explanations and a lot of commotion. But what you could never forget even if you wanted to was the pain of your heart being squeezed inside you and the horrible feeling that now everything would be different.
That had been 1 year and 6 months ago. Since the news everything had been a blur. It was as if you were seeing everything from outside your body. The first few days, you didn't leave the living room couch, your gaze focused on the metal doors of that gray elevator, you didn't eat, you didn't sleep, waiting for Steve to show up with his suit dirty from the mission and the shield in his hand, telling you that it had taken a little longer than usual but that everything had gone well, that he had nothing but a few scratches on his body and that he would take a shower before cuddling up with you in bed.
The day you understood that Steve would never walk out those doors, you couldn't help but be angry at him for leaving you alone that morning after breakfast and not asking for help from the team, but more than anything you were angry at yourself for not doing anything about it. You thought it was a routine mission, just to confirm that the clue was legit. You never gave the subject much thought. You couldn't believe you had been so naive and you knew it was your fault.
The next few months after that you and the team as well as Fury had been immersed in the case, trying to track down the organization and the man responsible for Steve's death. Thousands of leads were emerging every day but they all led to a dead end. The team wasn't much better, everyone blamed each other for Steve's death but you knew it all affected Tony the most. Natasha and Wanda were there for you but Bucky was the one who were constantly with you during the first few months, supporting you and looking out for you. But you could see he was hurting too, Bucky had gone back to his old self, he was withdrawing from everyone, except you. Barely making conversation with the others and most of the time going out without telling you where he was going. You wanted to ask him about it but you knew he needed time. Hell, you needed it too. A year and a half later it seemed like everything was back to normal, even though you knew that inside you were all different people. Losing family wasn’t easy.
Thank God you had Matthew, an agent who worked at the coumpound, he had been in charge of the funeral and since then, he always made sure you were okay, at first it was small talk in the hallways, telling you how sorry he was and asking you how you were feeling, then it was little gifts, he always brought you coffee and gave you a smile when he saw you filling out reports in the briefing room, before you knew it he had become a great friend. His blue eyes and the way he treated you reminded you of Steve, and you knew you were drawn to that sense of familiarity and comfort. Then at that party, he had kissed you and although his kisses were nothing compared to Steve's, you accepted a date with him when he asked you the next day.
"Are you okay? You look distracted" Wanda's thick accent brought you out of your thoughts, you turned to look at her and her eyes were looking at you with concern.
You cleared your throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." You replied avoiding her questioning eyes, taking your necklace between your hand squeezing it. The wedding ring now taking its place on this one and not on your finger. Everyone was in the kitchen; you were sitting at the table peeling an orange and Wanda was next to you. Natasha was next to Bruce making himself a sandwich while Tony was complaining about the coffee grounds they had toss out in the sink, you let out a small chuckle, you knew it had been Sam who was sitting there reading a magazine completely ignoring Tony. Clint was spending the weekend with his family and Bucky was nowhere to be seen.
"I know this may be a difficult day for you" Wanda murmured moving closer to you, making sure no one else could hear. "We completed the mission. We arrested the bastard who..." she sighed "I know that maybe you thought this would bring you relief. But everything gets better with time, believe me I know." She had promised never to read your mind and you knew she had not. You smiled at her, you loved the fact that she knew you so well that she didn't have to use her powers to know what you were thinking.
2 days ago, the mission had been completed, they had found the person responsible for Steve's death and had dismantled the organization, surprised to find that they had some infiltrators right there working in the Compound, people you looked at every day, people who had seen you suffer and they were responsible all this time. You pushed those thoughts out of your mind quickly as you felt rage growing inside you again. You sighed deeply and remembered that Fury was taking care of it. Everything would be okay now.
"So how are things going with Matt?" Natasha asked approaching the table as she munched on her sandwich. Before you could answer, Fury appeared through the kitchen door. You frowned. It was unusual to have a visit from him at this hours of the night.
"Briefing room. Now," was all he said before turning and walking out of the kitchen. The whole team was surprised but followed him without a word. Entering the briefing room, you leaned against the wall in one of the corners waiting for Fury to speak.
"Two years ago we became aware of an existing threat that was harming one of our team. We mistakenly thought it was something minor, it wasn't until a year and a half ago that we discovered it was all part of something bigger and more dangerous. Something highly sensitive that if not handled correctly could harm us and the nation by exposing secrets of our operations."
"We already know that..." Tony began speaking, with one hand on his head, looking exhausted.
"Maria and I came up with a plan that we would put into action once we got the first lead" he interrupted, ignoring Tony's comment. "If we made them believe that they had achieved their goal, we would have an ace up our sleeve when it came to dismantling their organization, which we have done successfully, thanks to the help of this person..." he sighed and looked at the floor "I ask you to please try to understand."
I frowned, just as confused as the whole team.
"What are you talking about, sir?" You let out and he turned to look at you, sighing once more before shaking his head pointing towards the door.
"Hello, Dollface."
Everything happened in slow motion, the room filled with a deafening silence, you turned towards the door directing your gaze to the source of the voice. And if it wasn't for those blue eyes that wouldn't take their eyes off you, You knew you'd pass out right there.
Steve.
He was standing in the doorframe. And he looked different; his hair was longer, his beard covered half of his face and he looked 10 years older, he had dark circles around his eyes as if he hadn't slept since that morning when he had woken up next to you kissing your body. He was wearing a dark blue suit, and Bucky was standing next to him.
Realization fell over you and you felt your stomach sunk. Tears stung your eyes and you couldn't breathe. You walked slowly towards him, not trusting your own legs and planted yourself in front of him, he was like the ghost of the old Steve, only this one was rough around the edges, his eyes looked at you with adoration but also regret. Before he could say a word, you slapped him.
The sound of hand against cheek echoed across the room. Steve didn't seem surprised. Suddenly the whole room was filled with commotion, everyone started talking at the same time, but you couldn't take it anymore, you felt that at any moment you would fall to the floor. So you just walked out of there, but not without giving Bucky a death glare. The bastard knew it all along.
You ran to your room, ignoring the calls of Steve running after you and the commotion of the place. You locked the door to your room and locked yourself in the bathroom, where you couldn't hear Steve knocking on your door over and over again. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you were a mess, the tears wouldn't stop falling even though you didn't feel them and your face was pale, with trembling hands you ripped off the necklace with the ring and threw it on the floor before sitting down on the floor and started crying.
_
It had been a week since Steve had returned, a week that you had been avoiding him, against your better judgment you had gone to Matt's apartment where he had offered you a place to stay, the coumpound being the last place you wanted to be. You felt your body move and perform the simplest of tasks like washing the dishes, folding your clothes or even watching a movie but your mind just wasn't there, you were like a zombie, and it was already starting to affect your relationship with Matt, you knew it wasn't fair to him but you couldn't care in the slightest, not for now. You hated to admit it but you missed Steve, you missed his voice, his laugh, the way he looked at you, his kisses, his touches. And knowing he was so close to you was driving you crazy. But he had betrayed you. He knew it, he knew it all that time and he didn't tell you, he didn't dare to tell you that morning when it was just you and him. He had let you suffer for a year and a half. To hell with the plan, he had broken your heart. The next morning after he came, you had sneaked into Natasha's room and left the necklace with the wedding ring for her to give back to Steve, she tried to talk some sense into you but you had already made up your mind, after that you had left with Matt.
"I like this part, it's when she realizes the alien is with her on the ship" you heard Matt's voice speak, you two were watching a stupid sci-fi movie, your gaze on the screen but you weren't paying attention to it, your mind wandering elsewhere.
"Mmmh."
"And then she befriends the alien."
"Uh-huh."
"And then they move in together and play badminton on Sundays."
"Interesting."
"That's it" he said letting out a sigh before grabbing the remote and turning off the TV, snapping you out of your thoughts. "You're not even listening”.
Guilt wash all over you.
"Sorry, I was just a little distracted that's all." you said quickly.
He turned to look at you and gave you a smile but it didn't reach his blue eyes, which now that you took a good look at him were nothing like Steve's at all. "This isn't going to work, is it?" he finally asked but you knew he already knew the answer.
You sighed and shook your head slowly. He was a sweet boy and deserved better.
"I'm sorry" you said "I don't want you to think I'm just using you to get over Steve, I really like you, it's just... things are really complicated in my life right now" you finally admitted.
"I know" he said wiping away a tear you didn't know had escaped. "I knew from the moment I heard he was back. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now" he murmured.
You gave him a weak smile "I know I haven't been fair to you the last few days and I'm sorry, I know you deserve someone better, a woman who is completely crazy about you, and who will be because you are kind, thoughtful and deserve better than someone who is broken."
"You're not broken," He assure you. "I just think you really miss him and need him, and I'll let you in on a secret...he does too."
"Thank you, Matt." you said before getting up from the couch and grabbing the few things you had brought with you before heading for the door.
"I know this job demands a lot from us but there is nothing you two can't overcome, you are Steve and Y/n after all" he spoke behind you "just give him a chance to explain himself, you both deserve it."
You turned and gave him a small smile before walking out the door.
_
Steve was sitting at the bar, drinking his whiskey even though he knew he couldn't get drunk no matter how much he wanted to. He was twirling your wedding ring between his fingers. Ever since Natasha had given it to him he hadn't been able to take his eyes off it. Everything had gotten out of control. He took one more sip, savoring the burning sensation in his throat when he did, a hand patted his shoulder and he watched as Bucky sat down beside him.
"You're missing the party," he said sipping from his beer.
"Did you know that she's been staying at Matt's apartment these few days?" he blurted out completely ignoring his friend's earlier comment.
Bucky sighed, not quite knowing what to say.
"I remember Matt, I used to train him when he was first recruited, a good guy" he muttered "He can give her the life she deserves".
"Come on dude" bucky snorted "they've been dating for a month, it's not like they're getting married".
"It's not like she can't" Steve said "I'm sure she'll be sending me the divorce papers any minute now".
Bucky gasped.
"Impossible, she's crazy about you." He said continually shaking his head.
"I messed it up with her, Buck" he said finishing his drink before getting up and heading to his room, he was in no mood to party.
He had messed up, that morning he just thought it would be a simple mission and that he would be back that afternoon but then the lead had turned out to be more important than they had thought. Fury had told him the plan but there was no time to think about the pros and cons, they were up against the clock. So decisions were made and as much as it pained him he knew that was the only way to keep her safe, because they would come for her, of that he had no doubt. And he would do anything to protect her. Anything.
_
You could hear the faint sound of music coming from downstairs, the party was in progress as you walked down the empty hallways leading to the bedrooms, relieved that everyone was at the party and didn't see you coming. Matt’s words surrounding your thoughts, maybe what you needed was to hear it from Steve before you could move on with your life. You didn't realize that you had unconsciously made your way to Steve's room until you opened the door and looked inside, the room that for a year had been empty was now occupied by his things. With trembling hands you closed the door behind you and looked at his things, a shirt was on the bed and you couldn't help but pick it up and smell it. God, you had missed him so much.
Tears began to flood your eyes again but you were sick of crying so you left the shirt where it was and sat on the big bed, memories about that morning before he left filling your mind.
"I would do anything to protect you, you know that right?".
You shook your head at the memory, pushing those thoughts out of your head and placed your head in your hands.
You heard the door to the room being open and you cursed under your breath. You knew you had to face him but you didn't think it would be so soon, he was supposed to be at the party, his party.
You quickly raised your head and watched him walk in, he was wearing a completely black suit, his long hair was perfectly combed back and he still had that beard, he looked like a dream, butterflies erupting in your stomach and you had to take all your willpower not to jump him. There was a lot to talk about.
He had his eyes on the floor but when he looked at you an expression of surprise covered his face. This was the last place he thought you would be. He called your name in surprise and you quickly got out of bed.
"Sneaking out of the party?" you let out a nervous laugh at his intense stare, he hadn't moved a muscle "Come on, Steve. You know that’s not nice."
Several seconds passed and he didn't speak, maybe this was a bad idea, coming to his room was a bad idea. You turned to grab your bag off the bed and get out of there when his voice spoke behind you.
"Can I hold you?" he blurted out, startling you. You turned to look at him, he had his hands shoved in his pockets and looked shy, as if he was sure you would tell him no.
Your heart skipped a beat and you nodded your head slowly. There was a lot to talk about but you missed him more than anything in the world and you needed him. Without you having to repeat it to him, he took long strides to where you were and took you in his arms, pressing you against him, burying his head in your neck and inhaling your scent, making you shiver. You slipped your arms around his neck and shoulders and held on to him, he smelled just like you remember, of his favorite cologne and mint, and now a little whiskey too. You felt tears fill your eyes and you squeeze them shut to keep them from coming out. It felt almost unreal, while he was gone you had dreamed a thousand times of holding him in your arms, you didn't think you would ever be able to feel him again, to hear his jokes, his laughter and the way your name came from his lips. It was all too much.
Just as quickly as he had walked towards you and hugged you, he broke away from you and walked to lean against the wooden door he had entered through, too far away from you for your liking, his gaze fixed on the floor and his hands in his pockets. "I need to say this, and I can't do it if you're too close to me," he let out in a hurried voice and continued, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you during the time I was away, that morning I didn't know things would end up so badly, but it was worse than we thought and everyone was in danger...you were in danger. And I couldn't let them harm you because of me. There wasn't enough time to think of a better plan than the one Fury had come up with. I promised myself I would tell you I was safe but we realized there were infiltrators here in the building, I knew they would be watching your every move, I would put you in danger if I told you. So I told Bucky to look out for you. I know that it doesn't justify what I put you through but I needed you to know." He sigh closing my eyes. "I understand if you hate me, I know I ruined us and Matt is a great guy, I always knew you deserved someone who didn't have such a complicated life or put you at constant risk but please, I just want you to know... not only am I deeply in love with you, you are my best friend."
You couldn't breathe and you were aware that you were crying again, so without thinking twice, you advanced with a determined step towards him and when he looked up, you took his face with your hands wiping his tears away and planted a kiss, pushing your body to his, you took him by surprise but it only took a second for him to grab you by the hair and get you closer to his mouth. You had missed him so much, and yet it was as if you still knew his lips by heart and he knew yours, both matching perfectly. You let out a small groan as he lowered his hands to your waist and grabbed one of your thighs indicating you to jump, turning you around pushing you to the door, the new angle allowing you to kiss him better since he was much taller than you. After a few seconds you broke away to take a breath of air. You leaned your head back against the door running your fingers through his beard, taking your time to memorize him, he was the same yet so different but you definitely liked it.
"Stop looking at me like that, you're making me weak" he mumble hiding his face in your neck, his beard scratching your bare skin making you shiver and let out a giggle.
"I really like this beard, please don't ever shave it off". You sighed as he gave you little kisses on your neck, tickling you.
"Mmmh."
He planted one last kiss on your neck before you brought your legs to the floor again.
"I think you have something that belongs to me" you whispered as you reached into the small pocket of the black shirt; the small wedding ring. You had felt it when you were kissing him. You took it and placed it back on your finger. Steve looked at you confused but at the same time a full smile appeared on his face. You pressed your forehead to his and placed your hands on his chest.
"Don't leave me like that again, you scared me." You whispered to him.
"I promise I won't, Dollface" he whispered back. You knew there was still a lot to talk about but what you were completely sure of was that Steve Rogers never breaks a promise.
#steve rogers one shot#steve rogers x reader#marvel fic#steve rogers fic#chris evans one shot#Steve x reader one shot#captain america x reader#steve rogers fluff#steve rogers angst#steve rogers oneshot#marvel blog#steve rogers#marvel#marvel one shot#steve rogers imagine#marvel female reader insert
468 notes
·
View notes
Text
More Than Anything
Words: 3,813
Pairing(s): Pedro Pascal/Female Reader
Warnings: 18+ Only!
While enjoying a long awaited drink, you find yourself entertained by the young bartender with horrible jokes. Pedro, however, doesn't see the humor in the situation.
DISCLAIMER
This fic is a part of my "Pedro y su Abeja🐝" series. You don't have to read the previous stories to understand this one, but they're there if anyone would like to give them a glance with your peepers. I write them as a reader insert, but they can also be read as an original character. It's up to you.
Follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok if you'd like. I'm pretty boring but I try. You can also checkout my Pedro Pascal Masterlist if you'd like to read some more Pedro works by me.
Enjoy!
Read on AO3
Additional Warnings: Daddy kink, dom/sub undertones, oral sex (female receiving), dirty talk, hair pulling, vaginal sex, and creampie.
London was beautiful.
Maybe a bit too cold for your tastes, but beautiful nonetheless.
It was your first time ever in the city… actually, it was your first time out of the States period. You always loved to travel, but never had the time or the money to invest in it. So, being in a new city and a new country was extremely exciting.
Big Ben was gorgeous, the London Eye was romantic, and Buckingham Palace was elegant. So many new and exciting sights all around you and yet your only focus was on Pedro, holding on tightly to his arm as he escorted you down the red carpet.
“Okay?” He asked, turning his attention towards you for a moment. You smiled up at him and nodded, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as you did so. The red carpet still made you incredibly uncomfortable, but you had gotten better at it since Oscar night. It’s not something you enjoy, but you didn’t mind it as long as Pedro was there for you to follow and hold onto.
“After I finish presenting, we can head to the afterparty if you want. There’s really no need to stay if you’re not feeling it.” He offered once you were finally away from the blinding cameras.
“That sounds great, actually. I could use a drink."
"Yeah? What're you feeling?" You pondered for a moment.
"Honestly, I'm not really sure. Maybe something with vodka or bourbon."
"Bourbon, huh? Are you homesick?" You scoffed playfully and rolled your eyes with your tongue stuck out at him, earning a deep chuckle as he placed a kiss on your temple.
He teases you about that every time bourbon is brought up.
After the usual press interviews and greetings with Pedro’s peers, you were finally able to take your seats, getting as close to him as possible while he draped his arm across the back of your seat.
Before meeting Pedro, you loved award shows. It was an excuse to get off your ass with friends and shit on the biased bastards who clearly chose the winners on other criteria besides which film had been best crafted.
Now, you fucking hated them. Having to sit still in a seat and listen to these rich snobs drone on and on about nothing important for hours on end with no booze or idiotic friends to laugh with made it damn near unbearable for you. Pedro knew this and picked up on your fidgeting about 40 minutes into the show. He placed his hand on your bouncing knee, gently rubbing his thumb over it.
"You can go on to the party if you want, Abeja. I still have a bit before my presentation and I know how restless you get with these things.” You shook your head, going back to bouncing your knee, but a bit gentler this time.
“Nah. I want to stay here with you and show my support.” He chuckled.
“You don’t have to prove anything to me and you know that." A split second of silence fell between you as you weighed your options, but he wasn't having it.
"Go. Have a drink and loosen up a bit. I’ll come find you after I present and we can watch the clip together on YouTube later.”
Normally, you wouldn’t listen to him and would tough it out. Pedro lit up like a kid on Christmas anytime he was on camera and you loved to see it, but he was right. The video of him presenting would be on YouTube within minutes of it being aired so you’d still be able to see it.
"... Okay. I have my phone if you want me to come back." You offered.
"Alright. I’ll see you in a bit, honey." You exchanged a quick kiss, bunched your dress up in both hands, and nearly booked it out of the theatre, more than happy to finally be away from all the formal shit.
You were the first one at the party, rushing over the bartender and ordering some Jim Beam and Coke. Pretty basic, but it was just something to get you started.
"Your accent is lovely." The bartender complimented as he slid your drink to you.
"Oh, this ugly thing?" You gestured to your vocal chords. "I respectfully disagree, but thank you. I’d much rather have one like yours. Sounds much nicer than deep fried hick." The young man laughed, resting his elbow on the bar.
"Where you from?" You took a sip of the concoction before answering.
"Kentucky. Born and raised." The bartender looked at your drink and then back at you.
"You're not a little homesick are ya?" He asked, gesturing to your drink. You groaned, rolling your eyes and laying your head on the bar.
"Why does everyone ask me that? I just like bourbon, okay?" The bartender laughed again as you took another sip.
"Yes ma'am. I apologize. I'm Brice." He held his hand out for you to shake. You did, giving him your name in return. "So, this your first time in the UK?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The afterparty had a lot more people now, the three drinks you've had relaxing you and tinting your cheeks blush red. It wasn't enough for you to ditch your filter, but it did make you quite giggly.
Brice especially found your giggle fits endearing. He had been talking to you the entire time you’d been there, only leaving to serve the other guests before coming back over to you. He'd lean on the marble bar as you spoke and he started telling you bad jokes just to get you to giggle. He seemed like a pretty cool dude.
"Can I ask you something?" He asked, watching you closely as you down your shot of whiskey. You put the glass back on the bar with a clank, letting out a sigh as you felt the liquor run warm down to your stomach.
"Sure. What's on your mind?" You answer. Brice takes the glass from you and washes it quickly, drying it off with a towel as he seems to ponder on how to say what he's about to say.
"You know, you're pretty awesome and I would love to get to know you better away from all of this." He started, gesturing around the party atmosphere. "So, I was wondering if you would like to exchange phone numbers? Maybe socials as well?"
Ah Lord. You were nowhere near drunk enough to deal with this shit. Brice seemed like a cool guy, but you didn't think you were coming off that way and immediately felt terrible for leading him on. You opened your mouth to say… something. You weren't really sure, but it was going to be better than dumbass silence. However, you didn't even get a word out before you felt a familiar hand on your back and Pedro’s voice right by your ear.
Perfect. Just in time to be used as a gentle decline.
"There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you." You spun around to come face to face with Pedro, your face instantly lighting up as soon as you saw him. He looked you over with a smile, noticing your flushed cheeks and drunken giggles.
"I see you've had your drink." You nodded, holding up four fingers. "Oh, four. Excuussse me."
Pedro looked over to Brice and ordered his own drink. He noticed that the young man had a melancholy look to him, his blue eyes shifting right back to you as soon as he acknowledged his drink order.
"Is he bothering you?" Pedro whispered, not taking his eyes off of the bartender as he made his drink. You gasped, pretending to be offended.
"Nooooo! Brice would never!"
Pedro wasn't usually a jealous man, but something about the current situation was making his blood boil. He concealed it well and thanked "Brice" when he handed him his drink.
"I'm going to go say hi to some friends. You wanna come with me?" You groaned, not really wanting to put your formal face back on, but your desire to be around Pedro as much as possible outweighed all of it.
“Fiiinnee. I’m not talking, though.” He held his hand out for you to take, helping you down from the bar stool before placing his hand on your lower back. He gave the bartender one last glance, trying his best not to feel the pride swell in his chest when he saw how devastated the poor guy looked.
About an hour had passed when you returned to the bar for another drink, Brice apologizing for being forward as he slid you your shot.
“I didn’t know you were with someone. I’m sorry.” You fanned your hand at him, downing your shot in one go.
“It’s no big deal. I didn’t say anything so you couldn’t have known. For what it’s worth, I think you're an awesome dude and would love to exchange socials with you. You have a discord?” Brice’s eyes lit up as he nodded, grabbing a pen and paper to write his username on.
After exchanging little scraps of paper, you continued chatting with him and ended up getting giggly again from the shot. Brice noticed and started telling his horrible jokes again, but your drunk ass still found them fucking hilarious. You were still sober enough to keep the filter, but you were talking and laughing pretty loudly.
Brice was in the middle of a joke when you felt Pedro’s large and warm hand wrap around your upper arm. You melted into him with a fit of giggles, Pedro laughing at how cute you were as he brushed a few strands of hair out of your eyes.
"C'mon, honey. I think it's time for us to turn in." Pedro said, a groan leaving your lips.
"Let Brice finish this last joke and then I'll come okay?"
This time, Pedro didn't hide his rage, looking up at Brice with the most intimidating look he could muster while he had you drunk in his arms. It definitely worked, the poor dude shrinking in on himself as his eyes widened with fear.
"A-actually I'll send it to you on Discord, okay? I think you should go with your boyfriend." Brice stuttered out, clearly intimidated by your sweet teddy bear which you found hilarious. So hilarious that you didn't even question why he was angry in the first place.
Pedro was satisfied with Brice's answer and deep down felt terrible for being such an asshole, turning his attention back to you leaning on him and still giggling.
"C'mon, Abeja. Let's go."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The door to your shared hotel room had barely shut before Pedro had you cornered, his eyes dark and the smell of his cologne dancing under your nostrils. You had sobered up a bit on the drive back to the hotel and was starting to feel tired.
You whine pitifully, mildly upset that he was keeping you from your plans of peaceful dreams.
"What is it, P? M'tired." You groaned. Pedro scoffed above you.
"Am I not enough for you?" He growled. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and look up at him.
"Huh? What're you tal-"
"Is this old man not enough for your little pussy? Huh?" You froze and swallowed hard, now understanding where he was going with this and you very much liked it, your exhaustion instantly forgotten.
"N-no… You're perfect." He chuckled darkly, leaning down to trail his lips gently over your neck. You moaned quietly, feeling his stubble tickle your sensitive skin.
"Really? Then why would you waste your time with that... boy?”
Ooohhhh. Brice.
"He-he was just being friendly. He seemed like a pretty cool guy an-"
Pedro interrupted you by slamming you against the door, pinning your wrists to the cold steel as he got close to you, his lips only inches away from yours.
"You have no idea what you'd be missing." He snarled, your pussy clenching hard from just his words and voice alone.
"... Show me, then.”
Pedro growls low in his throat and pushes you harder into the door, now holding both of your wrists in his left hand as he caresses your face and lifts his knee up to your clothed cunt.
"Gonna fuck you so good. Your young little pussy won't be able to take it all." You whined quietly, grinding yourself down onto his knee.
"Please..." Pedro's breath hitched, his grip tightening on your wrists.
"See, look at you... You're already coming apart and I've only given you my knee. That boy wouldn't even get you this close with his inexperience. Only I know exactly what you need." You were squirming at this point, your juices already starting to soak through your panties.
"Please, Daddy… Please..." You begged as he pressed his knee even harder into your dripping heat.
"Patience, my sweet Abeja. Daddy will give you everything soon."
He jerked your wrists forward, pulling you close as he let go of his hold to grab your ass and hoist you up. You quietly squeaked in surprise, wrapping your arms and legs around him as he quickly carried you over to the bed. He threw you down on it, the springs protesting lightly from the sudden weight as Pedro began to strip.
He almost had his undershirt unbuttoned when you sat up and tried to unzip your dress, but he stopped you by pinning your wrists to the mattress.
“Only Daddy’s allowed to take that dress off, baby girl.” You whined, another gush soaking your already damp panties.
He let go of your wrists again and continued to undress, looking over your body hungrily as he did so.
“I bet you’re soaked already, aren’t you, pretty girl?” You nodded rubbing your thighs together as your pussy clenched again. He parted your legs and haphazardly lifted your dress. He groaned at the sight of your heather gray panties darkening in color as your arousal continued to seep.
The stylist had highly advised you to wear sexy underwear with the dress, but you didn't care. You'd take comfort over looks anyday and Pedro didn't seem to have a problem with your choice of underwear.
He took his right pointer finger and ran it gently over the darkening patch, the bulge in his boxers twitching and somehow getting harder.
"Fuck, look at you. So shameless." He wraps his arms around your legs and pulls you to the side of the bed while getting down on his knees. You impatiently began to fidget, knowing exactly what he was doing. He pulled your panties aside, the sight of your glistening pussy spurring him on as he yanked you closer and licked you from your opening to your throbbing clit.
“Daddy…” You sighed, your hands instantly tangling in his hair. Pedro groaned, the vibrations and his facial hair feeling heavenly. He wrapped his arms around your thighs and threw them over his shoulders, pulling you even closer and pressing the pads of his fingers into your smooth skin.
“MMmmmm.” You whined, the sudden movement causing your pussy to clench around nothing. You spared a glance down to Pedro. You could only see his eyes, but that was more than enough, his dark chocolate orbs staring up at you with a dizzying mixture of adoration and lust.
Pedro loved how wreaked you looked, your mouth hung open and your eyes hooded. He took pride that he was the one making you feel this way, knowing that he was the only one who got to see you like this.
He’d had plans on taking his time with you, slowly bringing you to one orgasm after another with his tongue, fingers, and cock; but the sight of you losing yourself just on his tounge alone drove him crazy and he grew impatient.
He pulled away from you too soon for your liking, his lips and chin glistening with your arousal as he yanked off your underwear in one swoop. He discarded his boxers as he stood up, pinning you to the bed as he drug the head of his cock through your slick folds a few times.
“You’re mine, understand?” You nodded quickly, wanting so desperately for him to get on with it. “Say it.”
“I-I’m yours, Daddy… Please….” You begged.
“Please what?” Your mind was so fuzzy with arousal, that you could barely process the words he was saying, let alone compose some of your own, but Pedro wasn’t having it. He grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it, the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure only making your neediness worse.
“Answer me.”
“Fuck me!” You whined, your voice hoarse and weak, but still loud enough for him to get the message. Pedro let go of your hair and caressed your face, the gentle gesture a far cry from how he’d pulled your hair barley seconds ago.
“Good girl.” When he finally pushed himself in, you both made noises of pleasure, Pedro wasting no time. "God, you feel so good, baby." He groaned, starting to thrust into you faster. Though you both were inpatient and did very little foreplay, you were still absolutely soaked.
“You hear that?” He gruffed, his facial hair tickling your jaw as the sounds of your wet pussy squelched almost musically. “That boy could never get you this wet. You’d probably have to- fuck- have to use lube just to get started.”
You were already close. It’d been a hot minute since you’ve seen each other, your music classes revving up for concert season and his schedule getting booked by the day. It was hard to be away from one another for so long, but this… this made it worthwhile. No toy or vibrator could ever top the way Pedro made you feel.
"Pedro…" You groaned.
"That's it. Scream Daddy's name, baby girl. Show the boys who you belong to."
His cock repeatedly rubbing against your g-spot sent waves of tingling pleasure all throughout your lower half, the intensity of it building higher and higher as he continued.
"Don't stop, Daddy. Please don't stop." You whined, your voice getting higher as your orgasm grew closer.”
"Cum on Daddy's cock, Abeja. Let him feel you drip." Like a rubber band being pulled too tight, you snapped, your back arching off the bed and your toes curling. It hit you hard, your pussy drenching his cock and throbbing relentlessly with wave after wave of chilling pleasure.
“Mmm, Daddy’s gonna cum, baby girl. Whe-where do you want it?” He panted, his movements slowing for a few seconds while he waited on your answer.
“Inside…” You whined, your orgasm still wreaking havoc as he sped back up.
“Gonna fill you up, baby. Gonna… gonna…” He thrust his cock into you one last time, his own orgasm tearing through him with the same intensity as yours. The feeling of his cum warming your insides and his throbbing cock brought you to the peak for a second time. It wasn’t very intense, but getting filled up always made your orgasm even if they’re small.
Pedro collapsed onto you, his lips colliding with yours in a slow, passionate kiss. You laid your head back with a sigh on pleasure, Pedro chasing after you to gently kiss and nibble at your chin.
“I know you like me to stay in for a bit after we finish, but can we please make an exception this time? My back is killing me in this position.” You snorted.
“Oh my god, you’re so fucking old.” Pedro pulled out slowly, the feeling of his cum seeping out dazing you again for a moment. He smugly smirked at the sight, his hand gently caressing your upper thigh as he watched it trail down your folds.
“You weren't complaining about it earlier.”
A little later, you were laying on Pedro’s chest as he played with your hair, both of you just enjoying each other's company and the silence after a night of constant noise.
"Since when do you get jealous?" You finally asked, breaking the peace as his hand stilled in your hair.
"M'not… not usually anyway." You traced small circles on his chest for a moment.
"What was so different this time?" He sighed deeply, the silence returning as he thought of an answer.
“I dunno. I guess I just…” He sighed again, running a hand through his hair.
“There’s just... so many people out there… people who have their entire lives ahead of them, who doesn’t have back pain, who doesn’t have gray hair and wrinkles, and who doesn’t sound like rice crispies in the morning and…” He paused, his arms tightening around you.
“... Someone who has the time to give you all the attention you deserve. I feel so guilty knowing that I can’t wake you up with breakfast every morning, that I have to leave you alone for months and months at a time, and that you have to face so much scrutiny because of my age. When I saw you with Brice, you looked so happy and it made me think of all the things that I can’t give you…”
He was choking up at this point, his eyes glassy and brimming with tears. You sat up a bit to face him, your hand caressing his face and gently scratching his facial hair as you stared into his watery eyes.
“Pedro… don’t say things like that. You are more than enough for me. You’re so kind and smart and oh so sweet. You’ll come take care of me when I’m sick, you respect me and treat me as my own person, you spoil me even though I beg you not to, and you love me for who I am.” Pedro sniffled as you rested your forehead atop his.
“You are hands down the most amazing man I’ve ever met and no amount of scrutiny, grey hair, or rice crispy joints is going to change that. You may think that you can’t give me everything, but you give me more than enough and I love you more than anything on this Earth.”
Pedro smiled a small smile, bringing up his left hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and caress your jaw as a tear fell down his cheek.
“I don’t deserve you…” He whispered. You wiped the tear away with your thumb and leaned down to kiss him for a bit.
"That, and you're such a DILF. I mean, did you see yourself in Narcos?" He laughed, wiping his eyes with his wrist as he got up to take a shower.
"Alright, bye. Your fangirl's coming out." You got up as well, hoping to finally take off that stupid dress and join him.
“You know you love it.” His arms suddenly wrap around you from behind, his lips pressing gentle kisses on your shoulders.
“More than anything.”
#my fanfiction#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x female reader#pedro y su abeja#more than anything
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
September 18: Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Time for another project of watching a movie series, taking notes, and posting the notes! I did not finish my last series. I probably will another day. But today I have obtained the six original Star Trek feature films on 4K and I'm starting it as a new notes project.
I saw every Star Trek movie upon its original theatrical release. I wouldn't say I'm a "trekkie", but I like a good sci-fi movie, right?
Worth noting is that I'm watching "The Director's Edition" of the first movie, which is an edit that I haven't seen before. I don't know if I'll notice the differences. I'll call them out if I do, though! Okay, pressing play.
This movie begins with… an overture? A shot of moving stars, and some pleasant orchestral music. Couple of minutes of that before even the Paramount logo. Seems like they were simply going for the same thing that the Superman movie had succeeded with a year earlier, making big, cinematic choices so as to transform it from a small-screen experience to a big-screen experience. Can appreciate.
Yes, first proper scene of Klingon ships approaching a something, it is cinematic, more so than you'd have seen on the show. And the music is cool. Wow, maybe I love this soundtrack? There is a creepy bass pluck sound.
They try to shoot the something with torpedoes. It's like firing a gun at a nebula, it makes no sense.
I'm happy to report that the look of the movie still looks very 1979. It's cleaned up, I guess, and it pops on my 4K OLED screen, but it looks like a good version of what they hoped it would look like at the time.
The nebula has fired back at the Klingon ships. Its torpedoes make them disappear in electricity balls. They just vanish.
That bass pluck sound is kind of like they took one very low piano string note and lowered the tension but still it makes a distinct note.
We're now on a scene with Spock on his home planet, with his parents, doing a judgement of some kind. That bass pluck instrument is getting used a lot. It's not just the theme for the nebula. It's overused.
0:12:50 - Now we're in San Francisco, headquarters of the future-peace union of planetary goodness or whatever. My not-a-trekkie-ness is starting to show, I guess. Anyway, it's Captain Kirk and he is being quite stubborn maybe? Saying he's going to take the Enterprise back.
Now these long, lingering, loving shots of the Enterprise it its space dock, a little indulgent but I get it. That ship with its iconic, recognizable shape is a big part of Star Trek. And it's a MOVIE so there's TONS of TIME.
Now finally Kirk is on the bridge, and between that and the lengthy sequence showing the Enterprise, I'm thinking must have been really exciting for people who had been fans since the original show aired.
Tension between Kirk and the guy who had just gotten promoted to Enterprise Captain, that's good for drama. Might have been more interesting with better actors in those roles. All due respect to William Shatner… not so much respect for the guy who plays Decker. Look it up. It is creepy.
0:27:40 - Transporter room malfunction, when I saw this as a kid I remember it being very scary, like almost traumatic. Not as effective to me today, but I've seen RRR now so maybe I just can't be fazed.
"My oath of celibacy is on record, Captain" announces Iliah. She is introduced with a strange gravity, like we're supposed to be blown away by a bald woman, but she also has romantic tension with Decker, but also she blurts out that weird celibacy comment, and plus also she is straight up pretty. I don't know what I'm supposed to come away with, and that's at least partly on purpose. Oh and they said "she's DELTAN". Don't know what that means.
0:40:45 - Okay, first the shot of them doing a big warp jump, the effect is kind of silly how, like, I don't know, fourth-of-july it looks. Like the backdrop of a performance of "Stars and Stripes Forever"….
…but while I've been typing this, it's going nuts with some other crazy visual stuff... as they did their warp jump, they got sucked into a different corny effect, very video-game-y, but it's making them be all smeared looking and sounding. It turns out this was the doing of a sinister asteroid, and they torpedoed it to resolve that issue. Video game-y.
So far this is the exact movie I remember.
Spock has boarded. Seems like the whole gang is back.
"Bones. We need him. I NEED HIM." William Shatner's dramatic flair is a little jarring.
They have arrived at The Cloud, and now there is the kind of story that drives a good episode of a Star Trek show. I really am curious about what the deal is with this cloud.
Spock has a vague telepathic understanding of what's going on, I guess? But also a sciencey understanding, and there's the thing about he thinks they, whoever is in The Cloud, don't understand why they aren't receiving a response, and Spock figures out it's because they're transmitting something but it's only a millisecond long, I think that's pretty cool.
Sometimes there are computer models on the big monitor in the bridge, and they look way way way more modern than they could have had in 1979 I think. I also think "so what".
1:08:10 - They've been penetrating The Cloud, and it's pretty suspenseful because what the hell is the deal with it. Did people complain that this part dragged? Because I don't think it's dragging. I think it's paced appropriately right now. They get to a solid part in the middle and it's a strange alien structure, what even is it. Again the pace is slow and again I'm not bored.
Then a thing I remember pretty well. After a long (but again I think appropriately long) sequence of them penetrating The Cloud and the middle part of it, an alien that is a vertical energy beam appears on the bridge and does stuff, like it's poking around. That ends with it making Iliah disappear, and Decker acting a little bit I-told-you-so about it. Unfair, Decker. This has literally never happened before.
By the way, I know a girl named Iliah whose parents actually named her after this movie's Iliah.
Now the Robot Iliah has been beamed aboard The Enterprise for the apparent purposes of being a leggy humanoid liason to what we learn is named "Veeger". I remember about the name "Veeger" which gets revealed at the end. Robot Iliah isn't the real Iliah, but there are memory imprints in her head and the gang is trying to exploit that!
Spock is sneaking around some room and he knocked a dude out who was just working at a console, wtf
Oh, that plot thickens, he did that so he could get in a space suit to get off the ship and do some kind of recon! It is one of many 2001-ish things in this movie. But it is maybe the most 2001-ish. He zips through the aperture thing that they didn't want him to get through, goes through some ovals, and starts narrating his trip past abstract things, and then, instead of the star baby from 2001, there's a star-Robot-Iliah. He touches it and it's damaging to him, but he still gets returned back to by the ship, like a respawn point. Get gud, Spock!
Veeger is now right by Earth, and I don't remember it looking like this. Did they totally redo that design? Maybe I just don't remember. It's sending onimous smartbomb things to hover threateningly because the "carbon units" aren't responding. They have to figure out how to be good at communicating to Veeger. I think it's an interesting conflict, I truly do!
A lot of the wide shots of the Enterprise inside the strange world of Veeger's interior actually probably look way, way cooler here than they did in 1979.
I think Leonard Nimoy is doing good acting in this movie.
1:55:45 - These big shots of the Enterprise near Veeger look really, really cool.
Sure enough, Veeger is just a little old 70s probe from Earth, it's "Voyager VI", but only VGER are still visible.
"Voyager VI disappeared into what used to be called a black hole," oh come on they definitely still call them that whenever this takes place.
Oh boy this ending, you guys, I remember the gist of it but I don't remember it seeming so dumb. So like, they figure out that Veeger wanted to join with the creator, and because Decker has always loved Iliah, he decides he is just the guy to fix the bad wiring in Veeger, thereby turning him into a cyborg husband of Robot-Iliah, blowing everything up in just such a way that it is non-catastrophic to Earth and the Enterprise and all the people except for Decker. Chatting about it on the bridge moments later, they're like "we seem to have done a fine job of creating an advanced life form, we're kind of badass that way". Then they hurry up to the credits so you won't spend time thinking about that unsatisfying ending.
But not before a title card that reads: THE HUMAN ADVENTURE IS JUST BEGINNING
So. I do not like the ending of that movie. But most of the movie was quite tolerable. It's been a long time since I watched it, but I watched it a number of times as a young Zawmer and I can't put my finger on any specific editing changes that are different in this "Director's Edition".
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Genre: Angst
Warnings: Contains curse word/s, first part is more of angst flashbacks
Word Count: 3,401
“Just do what you want to do, Mark. I don’t want to give any shit anymore.”
Mark furrowed his brows down at your words. He’s clearly taken aback with what you had just said. He’s been trying to talk with you for the past 5 or 10 minutes. You just don’t know anymore. You don’t know how long he’s been bugging you to talk because your mind is in a fog of negative thoughts, with pain, anger, sadness.
This whole ordeal is taking all of your energy to be calm. You’re just so emotionally exhausted after having another week of silence between the two of you. You live on the same roof, sleep on the same bed, yet you both feel so far away from each other now.
“This is your way to work things out now, Y/N?”, Mark finally said after being silent for almost half a minute. His voice is low. You felt that he was hurt from what you just said to him. But you just don’t feel anything right now. You felt numb.
He continued to talk with you in a calm voice, “I get it that you’re tired. But you’re not the only who feels exhausted in here, Y/N. It’s been almost two w-“
“Yes, Mark. Two. Fucking. Weeks.”, you cut him with a louder voice now. “What’s your plan?”
Mark responded with a silence. He’s sitting on the bedside with his hands on his head, facing the window while you sat on the other side of the bed facing the wall.
“I- I don’t know…”, he answered after being quiet for a few more seconds, taking a deep sigh.
You were waiting for him to talk, but you felt a sharp pain in your chest when you heard his response. Not expecting for him to be at lost now with your problem.
He wasn’t like this before. You think to yourself. Now you feel your eyes starting to water. You just want him to wrap his arms around you just like before, after you both had a fight. He always knows how to resolve things between the two of you. He always tries not to do or say anything that might upset or hurt you. And if he did, he always knows how to comfort you. For the four years, 10 months that you’ve been together, he always knows how to make you feel better.
But he isn’t like that anymore.
“I felt like this isn’t a home anymore, Y/N...”, Mark continued. “This... This whole situation. This whole set up. This doesn’t make me feel like home anymore.”
You felt a drop of tear fell on your cheek as he continued to speak. His words echoing in your mind sends air to your head. You wanted to shout. You wanted him to stop talking. Yet, you sat still on the bedside, freezing. His words just passed through your ears.
Another silent set of minutes passed after Mark talked. You tried to keep a steady voice before speaking.
“This isn’t going to work anymore if you felt that way, Mark…”,you said as another drop of tear fell down, and another, and another.
“I cannot force you to stay just because I want to. Tha- That’s not right.”, you continued to speak as you struggled to succumb to your sobbing.
“I still love you, Y/N…”, Mark responded with a low voice. You heard him sniff through his words. You close your eyes to stop yourself from crying harder, knowing that he’s already in tears too.
“I... I do. I still do love you, Y/N…”, he continued to talk.
“But it’s not enough for you to just feel that..."
You paused for a few more seconds, gathering all your thoughts.
"How about me, Mark? What would I do with your words if I can’t even feel it anymore?”, you spoke to him again, now staring at the floor. You’re thinking, how does him saying he loves you brings pain rather than happiness?
“I’m sorry, Y/N… I know I’m lacking these days. I’m failing to fulfill my promises to you. And I cannot stand to see you getting sadder and sadder each day because of me... I’m sorry…”
You don’t know how or what to respond to his words anymore. You hated to hear him saying sorry to you. You took a gulp to suppress the feeling of pain in your chest.
~
Your mind wandered around the time it all started. Mark was struggling to keep focus on his work as stress after stress took part of his job as the director of photography. There were much more projects than usual that was assigned to their production company. The conflict in the situation escalates more when one of their models backed out in the middle of their shooting. You’re just not sure if it was the model or the agency who pulled back. You cannot remember exactly Mark’s ranting on you that day. They already finished half of the set, shooting and editing for two days. They cannot hire another model that day because of their packed schedules which cannot be postponed or re-scheduled. That’s how they came up with the idea of choosing Mark as the substitute model since he already has a background when you were still studying. Mark is still kind of having second thoughts about it because he is aware of how it will add up on his already messed up work schedule, yet he chose to take a go for it because he said, he doesn’t have a choice though. Because it’s either he agreed on it or they will pull out the project and end up with no payment, in which they already had spent a big amount of money. The project came out more successfully than they could ever imagined, resulting to Mark being scouted as a model to some more projects. Tripling, even quadrupling his work in a regular basis.
You watched how Mark’s lifestyle changed over the past three months due to his work. Although you don’t have any problem with it, at first, aside from him not being able to go home regularly and not contacting you to at least let you know. You loved and supported him in every path he took.
A simple and common problem that almost each couple usually go through in their relationships. But that “simple and common” problem quickly arises when you tried to communicate with him about it. You don’t know what have gone wrong, or what did you told him so wrongly for him to change his habits in your relationship. That in the blink of an eye, you didn’t even notice that he just suddenly felt so far away from you. Catalyzing in a cleft in your almost five years relationship.
You tried to talk it out on him for some times. But you had your last straw almost two weeks ago when he suddenly snapped out of you.
“Y/N, can you please drop this out now. I’m already burned-out from working. Are you not getting tired from this? Because I am.”, cutting you and answering another phone call from his co-worker, before storming out of the living room, “Yes, Jae.”
You were left dumbfounded with his words. That moment did scarred you so bad. That’s for sure. You just don’t know him at all.
And that only proliferated the gap between the two of you. Taking you to the situation you are in now.
~
You’re now already bawling, trying to speak clearly as your breathing heaves, “I... I’m not happy with this anymore, Mark… I tried. I tried so hard. I tried so many times to reach out to you. To understand you. I feel like… I don’t even know you anymore…”
Y/N's P.O.V
It's 5 in the morning. Your alarm sets off. Just another normal working day, you think. You opened your eyes but didn't get up. You just stayed in your bed for a good 40 minutes. Laying on your back, you unconsciously fiddled your fingers at the big space beside you.
Thinking. Deep. Eventually losing yourself with the flashbacks in your mind.
You took a deep breath as you found yourself thinking about him again.
Thinking about how you used to wake up next to his pretty face as he snuggled you, showering you with sweet pecks all over your face, preventing you from getting up.
Playfully tickling your sides and you softly patting your hand to his cheeks to stop him.
His deep, soothing voice starting your day, “Good Morning, my angel”, smiling sweetly, as he rubs his tall, pointed nose to yours, always send butterflies to your stomach just by hearing his voice.
God, even his nose is just as fine as his whole being.
Thinking about how two were so happy before, the life you had with him for the past 4 years and 11 months. You both know, including every people around you, thinks that you are an absolute match for each other. You felt that no one and nothing will ever break you.
But with your current situation, you knock your self-thoughts. Leaving you always ending up in to thinking, how did it ever end up like this?
You lightly shook your head to clear out from all these thoughts taking over your mind. You suddenly look at your table side, glancing at the picture of the two of you that you still keep. Clicking your tongue and closing your eyes, you tell yourself, "Wake up now Y/N. That was 2 months ago.", as you take another deep sigh.
You got up from your bed. Walking towards the big stand mirror just beside your bathroom door to check your face and the bags under your eyes that you gained from all these sleepless nights, lightly tapping your face when you suddenly saw the familiar shirt on the floor. You're not even surprised anymore to find some of his left-over things in your apartment that you two used to share. You roll your eyes while shaking your head, "I'll have to clean this room eventually".
You recapture why you haven't even moved any of his things, not even an inch. You didn't even take a chance to pick up those random things he left.
Just once.
Just that one instant when you tried to clean your room from his belongings.
Right. Because when you did that, one week after he left, you didn't anticipate to have a severe breakdown. You are still afraid that you might helplessly bawl again in your bedroom floor just from the lingering scent he left. You remember that day so clearly. You didn't manage to get up from the floor. Didn’t touch any food. You just drank water. You didn't even shower. The definition of a complete disarray.
You're afraid to find yourself being a mess again from all the crying, from all the pain you felt you think that might not subside. Not even a little. You don't want to miss another day of work. Because the last time that occurred to you, you missed three consecutive days just to pick yourself up. If it wasn't for your best friend, Damica, you really thought you wouldn't have the strength to get up for the whole week or the next.
That's why you said to yourself, yes, it's a mess. But you chose not to gamble yourself for this again. You'll have to clean it up though one day. Just not today.
~
You were in a haze as you took your last 15 minutes break at work when you felt a light pat on your shoulder, distracting you from your wandering thoughts.
"Hey, Y/N. We're going to K-Town later to crash after work. You good?", Yugyeom said with a small smile and slightly raises his brows.
You paused to think for kind of long seconds.
Oh, right. K-Town.
Something that reminds you of Mark again.
You felt your chest ached a little bit more when you heard that place. A torture you always feel day by day.
You two would always go to K-Town every other week to spend your Friday nights after work to enjoy the start of your weekend together and of course, to release stress, just drinking and eating. Even if almost all of your friends have gone home, you and Mark would stay for some more time. Just talking about anything and everything. You two would sometimes come home at 2 in the morning. If you enjoyed the night so much, much later than that. After you got off the cab, he would sometimes drunkenly tell the driver, already eating some of his words, "Hey sir. Thank you for dropping me and my beautiful wife home safely.", as he tightly wrapped his arms around your waist, with his head leaning on your shoulder and plants a soft kiss on your neck.
You quickly blink to wake yourself up from the memories to respond, "Uhmm... I'll g–".
"Ow come on, Y/N. It's already Friday. It's been I-DON’T-KNOW HOW MANY WEEKS since you came with us.", Bambam cut you while kind of pouting as he felt that you might reject their invite again.
He is right though. You can't even remember anymore when was the last time you spent time with your friends. All that you can remember is how long you and Mark have called it off. But hey, you have to break yourself from these thoughts of Mark. You think to yourself.
"I was about to say I'll go when you cut me off Bam",you respond with a chuckle.
With your response, Yugyeom and Bambam was clearly surprised and hugged you tightly while screaming of excitement and happiness, sandwiching you between your two tall friends.
"YES!!! At last!!! She's herself again!!!", Bam said loudly as he was jumping. Not caring about your other workmates already looking at the three of you because of their noises. You just shut your eyes tightly and pursed your lips as you felt a little embarrassed, yet in a good, funny way.
"Yah yah yah! Get back to work. You still have an hour before you can leave.", the three of you were kind of startled with your boss' voice. Finally releasing you from their tight hugs.
"Ah, Sir Park! You have to come with us too later!",Yugyeom said to your boss as he playfully teased him by nudging his shoulder.
"Why? Are you going to treat us now?", Jinyoung replied, raising his eyebrows.
"Ah~ Stop it Jinyoung. Y/N's already coming with us. You should come too.", Yugyeom responded.
"Yah! This little pu– That's SIR PARK for you.", Jinyoung told Yugyeom as he jokingly attempted to hit him with his hand.
Looking at you now with Jinyoung's bit confused reaction, "You're really coming Y/N?"
"Yes, SIR Park.", you replied with a sweet smile. "That's why you should come too.", nudging at his arm with your elbow.
Jinyoung was one of Mark's college close friends. While Yugyeom and Bambam were one of the active members of the organization where Mark and Jinyoung are both officers. That's how you got close to them. Them, treating you like their sister, and you treating them as your brothers.
Yugyeom and Bam walked back to their working stations to finish the remaining hour of their work. Jinyoung walked back with you at your desk with his arms crossed to his chest, carefully analyzing your face.
"Are you sure you're okay now?",Jinyoung asked straight with a low, quieter voice so that only you can hear his kind of a personal question. "Let me just remind you that you can always file for a vacation leave, Y/N. Don't push yourself too much."
Your eyes opened slightly at his words. But you managed to compose yourself and put a still reaction. Just how you always react. Like nothing was wrong.
Blinking, you smiled at him, "Yes, Jinyoung. I am fine. Thank you for being such a considerate boss.", trying to put a light tone to every word you said to make the conversation less serious.
"I am not telling you this just because I am a considerate boss. I am still your friend, Y/N. Yugyeom, Bam and I.", Jinyoung replied to you.
You only answered him with a smile and nodded. Implicating that you acknowledged Jinyoung’s comforting words. Because you still don't know how to react or respond properly to your friends after checking up on you, after learning about how Mark and you suddenly broke up. Even you, yourself. You’re still dumbfounded at what happened to your almost-perfect relationship. You’re still at lost.
~
It's only 8 in the evening when your friends got high from drinking. You're only watching them while munching some fish cake at your table. Jinyoung, like the usual older brother to you, advised that you don't drink tonight and you just agreed. You just really didn't feel like drinking tonight. You only want to spend time with them after not being yourself for the past eight weeks. You're giggling at their weirder antics that shows up when they have alcohol in their systems. They just eccentrically yell something, sing some songs that you can’t even recognize if those songs really exist and dance that made you laugh even more.
"Yah! Jinyoung! How about you take off that padding cyclings!", Bambam yelled to Jinyoung as the surrounding's becoming louder, causing you all to crack at how shameless he is for bugging Jinyoung when he got kind of drunk.
"How about I break your chopstick legs, huh?!",glaring, Jinyoung retaliated, causing you to burst in to laughter again.
Your eyes were already tearing up from laughing when suddenly you heard a familiar laugh. You know that laugh too well. You felt a sudden cold chill in your spines. That soft laugh even though he's already laughing his lungs out. You force yourself not to think of him this time, but it's no use. You already know him like the back of your hand. And like a natural reflex, you looked for him. You start to find at who's laughing with that familiar voice. The laugh that you can listen to even though you're sleeping. You're already picturing his face. His perfect set of teeth. His cute canines. The laugh that you always love to hear. That voice.
You thought, Maybe he's here?
Obviously, he knows that you're always here every other week.
Maybe he came back.
You stood up from your seat and looked harder for whose laugh it belongs to. You rubbed your eyes and wiped your glasses at your shirt, squinting your eyes and extending your neck to look sharply. Scanning keenly the noisy surroundings, the people around you.
But he's nowhere to be seen.
There's no Mark here.
He is not here with you tonight.
He is not with you anymore.
You felt another known sharp sting in your chest.
And that pain you felt intensified when you heard Yugyeom tell you all in a loud voice, probably because of the drunken state he is now, “Whoa! Look at Mark hyung!”, holding his phone up, pointing at a posted photo of Mark on his Instagram that he uploaded a few minutes ago. You really tried not to look, but your eyes automatically glance at Yugyeom’s phone when you heard Mark’s name.
You bite your lip and swallowed to conceal your uneasiness and eagerness to see his face again. You felt your mouth dried when you saw his photo.
He became much, much, much more gorgeous than you could imagine.
You thought that he already has the most pretty face you’ve ever seen in your entire life.
Small face, high nose bridge, small alluring lips, his beautiful teeth that accentuates his whole features, and those doe eyes that brightens up his face when he smiles, your most favorite.
Just… his whole appearance is the vivid representation of an ethereal beauty.
Although it is a black and white photo, you can still see how much more gorgeous he has become. He’s now the cover model for a very well-known fashion and lifestyle magazine. He’s wearing a black leather beret and a black tank top, reflecting at a what you think is a window or something, flexing his side profile. A pure beauty. He really is made for this; you think to yourself.
You felt colder. Empty. You told yourself in a small voice, "...Manhattan must be really nice then."
So, here it is guys! My apologies for the late post 🙏🏼 But here it is anyways hehe. Thank you for those who are waiting and still want to read 😊
Also just a thought, I won't promise to put all GOT7 members in this AU unless they fit the characteristics I feel needed in this story.
I'll try to post the next chapter as soon as possible. Stay safe ya'll! -n. wang 💖
COVER, PROMPT
PROLOGUE
CHAPTER 2 (working in progress)
CHAPTER 3 (working in progress)
#got7#igot7#got7au#got7mark#got7markau#got7 fanfic#got7 imagines#got7 scenarios#kpop fanfic#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#la la lost you#la la lost you au#n-wang
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Slytherin San x Gryffindor reader
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
I was sitting in the Great hall eating some breakfast, I wasn't really paying attention to what was happening around me while I was reading the newspaper.
"Oh their she is! Gonna lose again at the Quiddich match today Yn?!" I heard Wooyoung a Slytherin yell at me, I ignored him as he walked passed the table.
"If she loses against Hufflepuff she truly is a loser!" San another Slytherin said they both laughed loudly going to sit down at their own table.
"Just ignore them Yn, their just idiots" Hongjoong said to me sighing, as he sat down in front of me, Jongho sat next to me on my left.
"Don't I always?" I asked looking up at the two smiling, showing that I wasn't bothered, I chuckled shaking my head at the two going back to the newspaper.
"Are you nervous at all Yn?" Hongjoong asked, I looked up glearing at him, his eyes widened realising that he shouldn't of said that.
"Hongjoong it was a small fall to the ground, Madam Pomfrey healed my arm. I'm completely fine" I told him as I closed the newspaper and finishing off my breakfast while Jongho talked about his homework that he hadn't done yet.
I zoned out as I thought back on the day Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, I was knocked off my broom and landed harshly on the floor on my arm no less breaking it. Thankfully I wasn't in the hospital wing for long.
But everyone was worried, Hongjoong and Jongho ran the moment I was allowed visitors, Yunho and Mingi some very sweet Hufflepuffs asked if I was alright aswell, but surprisingly San also came to check on me. After everyone was gone, he came in asking how I was.
I looked over to the Slytherin table seeing San sitting with his best friend Wooyoung and Seonghwa, Hongjoong's secret boyfriend, San looked up and our eyes connected, I quickly looked away not wanting him to realise I was staring.
"Yn? What do you think, can I?" Jongho asked looking over at me, I stayed silent for a second not knowing what he asked, peeking over at Hongjoong he shook his head no, I turned back telling him no.
"Fine, I'm gonna get ready for Quiddich, see you on the pitch" Jongho said sighing as he walked out of the hall, I looked back at Hongjoong raising an eyebrow.
"I'm not surprised you weren't paying attention, what where you thinking about to make you zone out?" Hongjoong asked picking up his drink and taking a sip.
"Nothing, anyway what did Jongho ask?" I said getting off the topic since Hongjoong would kill me if he knew I was thinking about San, I waited while he stared at me wondering what I was thinking.
"He asked if he could copy your homework from last year" Hongjoong sighed giving up on what I was thinking. I giggled at the thought of Jongho, that's why he was sulking.
"Right I think it's time for me to get ready for Quiddich, See you later" I said getting up and walking out of the great hall, hearing a few "Good lucks" from my house, I smiled at them as I left.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
I made my way down to the Quiddich Stadium, aiming for the changing room to get ready, the place was buzzing with excitement, I couldn't help but smile.
"Good luck today, Yln" I heard, turning around I widened my eyes at the sight of San infront of me. His black hair slick back, with the bottom of his hair grey, San wore his round glasses straightening them as he watched me closely.
"Uh, thanks?" I said not knowing what exactly to say, San smirked at me as he walked closer, standing right infront of me he grabbed my chin lifting it up for me to look at him.
"Embarrassed are we Yln" San chuckled as I pulled away from him, I could feel myself blush, he's just messing with mind, I sighed and turned around walking to the changing room.
"What's the matter Yn? Cat got your tongue?" San said laughing as I left him standing there, I shook my head getting the thought out my head, I need to focus on the game.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
I stood next to Jongho as we were in line to walk out to the Quiddich pitch, the chatter around the stadium was loud as people cheered on Hufflepuff as they flew around the stadium.
Our team was announced as we all got on to our brooms to also Fly around the stadium, the cheers were getting louder by the minute.
"It's a beautiful day for a Quidditch match, with a 98.3% chance of edge-of-your-seat excitement!." Hongjoong announced from the stand as he got everyone cheering more.
"Madam Hooch is about to kick off the match! Both teams look eager to get underway." Hongjoong said as we all circled around Madam Hooch.
Madam Hooch kicked open the box releasing all the balls as they flew up, Madam Hooch throw the Quaffle in the air.
One of the Hufflepuff chasers grabbed it as I quickly followed him as he throws it to a team mate. "The Chaser with the Quaffle's been flanked!" Hongjoong yelled, watching us follow the Hufflepuff.
I flew towards him as I bashed in to him again and again, "Either the Chasers are escorting their opponent to a dance, or Yn is setting up a Pinched" Hongjoong said again.
I bashed in to him one last time as the chaser droped the Quaffle as I quickly grabbed it "Yn pinched that Chaser like my grandma pinches my cheeks: painfully, and likely to leave a mark!" Hongjoong said laughing after, I rolled my eyes.
The other chasers started following me as Jongho and another Gryffindor came beside me both winking. "The Chasers are in formation! It looks like they've got the Quaffle, company, and a trick up their sleeves..." Hongjoong said, already knowing he was off his seat.
"The Chasers will attempt a Thimblerig shuffle, a tactic I invented, to confuse their opponent!" I throw the Quaffle to Jongho as he throws it to the other Gryffindor as we did it back and forth, Jongho passed it to me again, I flew off throwing the Quaffle in to the goal, scoring.
"The Thimblerig shuffle distracted the opposing Chaser, allowing Yn to score! I'm extremely proud!" Hongjoong yelled, all of Gryffindor screamed and clapped as I high fived Jongho.
"The opposing Chaser has the Quaffle! Is this the end of Yn lucky streak?!" Hongjoong said, I sighed as I flew over the the girl who held the Quaffle, bumping in to her.
"Yn's after that Quaffle like a Niffler after a sack of Galleons! Can Yn steal the Quaffle?!" Hongjoong said his voice getting louder. Getting the quaffle I flew the opposite direction, looking around I saw the others following, making sure no one will grab the Quaffle.
"What a fantastic feat of flying, everbody! Who needs luck when Yn got raw skill?" Hongjoong yelled again, I throw the Quaffle scoring again.
"Oh and Kim Dahyun has caught the golden snitch, Gryffindor wins" Hongjoong yelled as we cheered.
"After a magnificent match, Gryffindor team emerged victorious! 130 points to 40. Meaning next week final will be Gryffindor vs Slytherin!. These moments are what Quiddich is all about!" Hongjoong yelled clapping his hands.
I flew to the ground ready to celebrate with my team, Jongho ran over to me as I landed to the ground hugging me and dragging me over to the others cheering.
I turned watching some slytherin leaving, I caught Seonghwa and Wooyoung with frowns on their faces, San walking next to them, he looked up seeing me watching him, he then winked as he left the stadium with his house.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
A few days have passed since the Quiddich match between Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff, I sat in the library studying over Professor Slughorns lesson, a book was placed infront of me, looking up San stood there staring at me a smirk on his face.
"I thought you would need this" he said sliding the book over to me, reading the title I gleared up at him seeing the book was 'Quiddich for dummies' San laughed at my expression, noticing Hongjoong and Jongho walking over both glearing at San's back.
"What do you want Choi, got nothing better to do with your time like I dunno practicing for Saturday's match?" Hongjoong said crossing his arms at him, Jongho just stood there glearing.
"Why would I need to practice, I'm the best Quiddich player at the school" San smirked as he looked down at Hongjoong, I rubbed my head watchimg the two idiots.
"You need to practice because Yn is the best Quiddich player in the shcool, we all know that!" Hongjoong spat back leaning in to try and intimidate San.
"Whatever you say shrimpy" San said laughing as he walked off unbothered by Hongjoong, Jongho closed his mouth looking over at me trying to not laugh at what San called him.
"Did he just.... Did he just call me shrimpy?" Hongjoong asked his face turing red as he got angrier by the second, He turned to me while I shrugged my shoulders going back to my work.
"Don't you dare laugh Jongho!" Hongjoong said glearing at Jongho, I looked up seeing Jongho looking up at the ceiling not looking at Hongjoong.
'I..I got to go, I'll be back" Jongho said as he rushed out of the library, probably to go laugh so Hongjoong doesn't hit him, Hongjoong sighed sitting down opening his book.
"Shut up" Hongjoong said to me as I couldn't help but finally smile at what San called Hongjoong, I giggled holding up my hands in surrender.
"I didn't say anything" I said going back to my book, Hongjoong scoffed at me as Jongho came walking back in a smug look on his face as he sat down with us opening his book that he left on the table.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
It was the day of the finale match Gryffindor vs Slytherin and I was nervous, looking out the window I noticed The clouds that gather, a silver-fade, from the strongest of grey to soft whites, have command of the skies today.
I met Hongjoong and Jongho at the common room they were both sitting down Hongjoong looking out the window, while Jongho had a spoon placed on his nose, I stopped staring at him with an eyebrow raised.
"What are you doing?" I asked, Jongho looked up at me as he smiled and pointed at Hongjoong, I turned to him as he quietly laughed behind Jongho's back.
"What it's something to do while waiting for you" Hongjoong said shrugging as he stood up, walking over to Jongho taking the spoon off his nose. Jongho gleared as he sighed and stood up as we all walked out to get breakfast.
"The weather isn't good today, maybe headmistress McGonagall should cancel today's match?" Hongjoong said, both Jongho and myself shook our heads no, as we got down the stairs.
"It's a cloudy day, what could go wrong?" I asked as we sat down at the table, I sat next to one of the beaters Jungkook and the keeper Yeonjun.
"Oh look it's the loser club!" San said as he stood behind Hongjoong looking around at the table, Wooyoung laughing beside him, Jongho grip tightened on his cup, while Hongjoong tried to calm him down.
"San?, I just wanted to say good luck, I know you'll do amazing" a slytherin girl by the name of Bora said as she stared at him with hearts in her eyes, Jungkook chuckled quietly as he watched them shaking his head in disbelief.
"Oh I don't need luck, I'm the best player in this school" San smirked at the girl and winked at her, I rolled my eyes as he flirted with her.
"Actually you not all that choi, you better watch yourself out there, Storms don't like cocky brats" Jungkook said as he stood up glearing over at San.
"I don't know about you Gryffindor but let's go win the game" Jungkook cheered as we stood up, Jongho and I high fived as we all walked off. The whole hall minus Slytherin were cheering us on.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
The silver hues were as molten silver, swirling in steady and radiating ripples. I love the sky before a storm, I love the greys of every shade and depth.
I could swim in the atmosphere so subtly electric, alive with an excitement for what is to come, but playing Quiddich Hongjoong was right it's going to be dangerous.
The game started out like any other, one of the slytherin chasers Changbin grabbed the Quaffle as he flew off, I chased after him slamming in to him as I grabbed the Quaffle, the others flanked me as I scored the first point of the game.
After about an hour of ten points each the weather got worse, Lightning illuminates a brilliant pathway above, lifting our eyes skyward, bringing even the slowest soul-pulses back into a steady and strong rhythm.
A tinkling sound came to my ears as the first pearls of rain dropped, It has started to drizzle now. I tried to rub condensed water droplets off my goggles to get a clear view of the match still going on around me.
I felt wet and numb, coldness seeped into the spine, I shivered rubbing my arms to get a bit of warmth back in my body. Rain continued playing a peculiar rhyme, while howling wind whispered in my ear, not paying attention I didn't see one of the bludgers coming right for me.
"Yn! LOOK OUT!" I heard someone yell, I heard gasped around me, quickly turning around I saw one of the bludgers coming to me, I panicked but for some reason I couldn't move.
"Watch it Yn are you trying to get hurt?" San said as he flew infront of me a bat in his hand as he hit the bludger away. I looked over at San, he wasn't even a beater why did he have the bat? I wondered as he flew away from me.
I shook my head finally going back in to the game, we played on the score was once again tied both thirty points, the golden snitch no where in sight.
Lightning came once again, a brilliant shock of white in the graphite sky, forking silently to the unsuspecting ground, the thunderous boom always calling its warning too late, one of the slytherin beaters was hit as she fell to the ground.
She was quickly pulled off the field, I managed to grab the Quaffle as I flew to the other said, Slytherin following behind me, I flew low to the ground hearing some of the other teams flying to low and falling to the ground with a thump.
Scoring again Gryffindor screamed and cheered, points now forty to thirty, I sighed but had a smile on my face as I cheered along with Gryffindor, but the happiness was short lived as I felt hit from behind.
The shock knocked me off my broom as I fell to the floor, the wind was all I heard as I fell fast to the ground, the gasps grow louder as people started to panic.
I was abruptly stopped a hard impact but I wasn't on the floor, I felt like someone was holding me, I opened my eyes seeing San as he looked down at me, his lips moving but I couldn't hear what he was saying.
My hearing came back as I heard San repeating "Crap" over and over again, I started to look around still in his arms on his broom, it seemed like the game stopped for some reason, I hope it wasn't for me.
I closed my eyes again not able to keep them open, I felt a jolt and San wrapped his arms around my head, we then rolled on the floor, it seemed like he was knocked off his broom as well.
"Yn! Yn! Are you alright?!" I heard San asked, opening my eyes I saw him leaning over me a worried look on his face, my hearing went out again, I noticed some of my teammates come running over and the headmistress McGonagall.
My vision blanked out as I closed my eyes again falling asleep, feeling exhausted from the game even though it wasn't finished, at lest I don't think it is.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
I opened my eyes seeing that I was in the hospital wing, turning to my side the whole team along with Hongjoong, Jongho, Yunho, Mingi, Yeosang, Seonghwa, San and Wooyoung was at my bed side.
"Hey your awake that's good" Yeosang a ravenclaw and also one of my friend, said as he smiled softly at me, I smiled trying to sit up but pain spiked through my body as everyone told me not to move.
"What happened?" I asked, looking over at Yeosang he turned around looking over at Hongjoong, Hongjoong shook his head "I told the teachers to cancel the match today" was all he said as he looked down at the floor.
"What didn't happen is the question, My god Yn so much happened and you don't remember any of it?" Jongho asked complete shock on his face, I whispered "no" since I couldn't actually remember anything.
"One of the Bludgers was hexed to follow you, you got hit off your broom after you scored a point. San thankfully caught you in time but then the bludger chased after him, knocking San and you off his broom." Hongjoong said his voice low not wanting to give me a headache.
"San protected you as you both fell to the floor, San has a broken arm and some broken ribs, but besides that he's fine. Right buddy" Seonghwa said slapping San on the back, San winst as he grimaced at the older boy.
"You got the worst of it, that bludger gave you a concussion, and the fall to the floor caused a broken collarbone and a few ribs as well." San said walking up to me as he smiled sweetly down at me.
"Well now that we know your ok, we should take our leave" Jungkook said as he shooed everyone out, Hongjoong and Jongho was the last as they quickly gave me a hug and walked off, now leaving me alone with San.
"Why did you save me?, I thought you hated me?" I asked looking up at him confused, San chuckled shaking his head, noticing a few cuts on his cheek, eyebrow and lip, he still looks beautiful though.
"I don't hate you, I care deeply for you. Seeing you fall off your broom made me realise, I've never been so scared in my life. Now you should rest, you'll be out of here by tomorrow" San said as he leaned down and kissed my forehead.
"Stay safe" he whispered in to my ear, pulling away he smiled down at me, a genuine smile as he walked out of the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey came rushing in to give me some medication to heal my broken bones, it wasn't pleasant.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
I was finally out of the hospital wing, sitting on the grass in the grasslands with the others, Jongho, Hongjoong and Yeosang I layed my head watching the clear sky, a big difference from the other day.
"I mean it does make sense" Yeosang said after he heard about San liking me, I looked over at him as he was deep in thought, Jongho pretend to gag at the story while Hongjoong was furious, still angry at being called shrimpy the other day.
"Oh speak of the devil and he shall appear" Hongjoong grumbled as San walked up to us Seonghwa and Wooyoung on his tail, Seonghwa quickly sat down with Hongjoong squeezing his hand while Wooyoung sat down next to Yeosang as they fist bumped.
"May I borrow Yn for a moment?" San asked the others mostly Hongjoong knowing that he still didn't like him, Hongjoong gleared at San not saying a word, I just rolled my eyes standing up as San and I walked away.
"What is it that you need?" I asked getting to the point, I wanted to spend as much time lounging around in the grass before the weather changed again.
"I wanted to ask you out on a date" he said I stood froze not expecting him to say that, I felt myself blush as I looked down at the ground to embraced to face him.
"You...you don't have to if you don't want" he stuttered I watched him as he got embarrassed himself. I couldn't help but giggle at him.
"I'll go on a date with you" I said quickly kissing his cheek, I pulled away seeing San blush for the first time ever, making me giggle again.
"Don't giggle at me!" He said getting angry but it wasn't reaching to his eyes, making me giggle again. "What are you going to do about it?" I asked smirking at him. San smirked back a plan already in his head.
"This" was all he said as he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply, my eyes fluttered closed as my arms wrapped around him, his arms around my waist pulling me closer. Pulling away after awhile both our faces red as a tomato.
"Get a room you two!" Wooyoung yelled causing the rest to laugh, I blushed brighter as I placed my head in San's chest, he chuckled kissing my head as we slowly walked back to the others.
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
Party in the USA
Hey guys, It's @leelee10898.Ive been MIA from CGW for a while, I miss it so much.. In light of the 4th of July, ive thrown together some squad shenanigans for ya!! I tried my damndest to get this finished yesterday, but no luck... I did a super fast edit, so im sorry, but this shit is gonna be flawed lol.. enjoy.
The Royal Jett touched down in Dulles international airport as the girls squealed in their seats. It was 4th of July weekend and they were excited to share it with their men, since not one of them had ever celebrated the extremely patriotic American Holiday. "Nothing says 4th of July like celebrating in our nation's capital." Anitah beamed as she stepped off the plane, joining the group who already exited. "Well, you're the queen of Cordonia now, she is your Nation now Love." Liam grinned as he kissed her cheek. "Um no offense Liam, but this will always be our nation." Alicia butted in. "Yeah, 'Merica!" Genevieve pumped her fist. "Merica?" Liam whispered to Drake "yeah. Short for America. Just, go with it Li." Drake shook his head. Pam laughed at her friends "ok Ladies, how about we get settled and go find something to get into."
They opted to rent a house instead of a hotel so they could grill and chill the proper way. "Oh shit, there's a pool, I can't even wait to jump in that later." Alicia smirked as she winked at Leo. "Clothing optional love?" He smirked as Liam rolled his eyes. "Why are you two always naked every trip we take?" Liam huffed as the two shrugged. "Well, we could just start right now." Leo began tugging at his shorts. "NO!" the group resounded. "Hey guys, I seen a huge fireworks tent down the street. We should go check it out." Maxwell walked outside where the group had converged, a glass of purple liquid in hand. "Maxwell, what do you have there?" Drake eyed him suspiciously. "Just some punch." He shrugged, giving the girls a look.
One by one the girls made their way inside sneaking drinks of maxwell's punch. Once they reached a nice buzz they decided to venture off into DC. They watched a parade, sampled some summertime staples including funnel cake and deep fried oreos. There was a carnival being held and they would have a fireworks display at night fall. "Oh! The zipper. I loved that ride." They eyed the caged ride "how's your tummy feeling Gen?" Pam gave her a look. "It's good, let's do this shit!"
"Are you sure darling? This doesn't look safe." Rashad voiced his concern. "Psh, safe shamafe. This shit is indestructible,it's probably like 40 years old." Anitah snorted.
"Yeah because everyone wants to ride a 40 year old death trap. No thanks Brooks." Drake held up his hands and shook his head. "Its ok Drake, I think the ferris wheel is calling our names." Pam winked at her husband, who then adjusted his pants.
Rashad looked at Genevieve, and then to the zipper swallowing audibly she took his hand and led him towards the ride. "It's gonna be ok Rashad. Do it for America." She smiled at him.
Maxwell had already been strapped in the seat and moved up Liam and Anitah also already on the ride in a cart halfway up. "Ok this doesn't seem to bad love." Liam leaned back as they slowly made their way up letting others on. "Oh it's great. Just wait until we really get going." She smirked. Liam arched his brow "what does that mean,my queen?"
"So how does this work exactly?" Leo asked Alicia. "Well, we basically go around in a circle, and flip upside down, a lot. You don't have a weak stomach do you Leo?"
"No. I can handle it. Liam on the other hand, he's going to puke or scream. Maybe both." He chuckled. "My money's on both. Anitah is going to laugh at him." Alicia giggled.
"You know Love, thing we haven't done yet." He gave her the signature Rhys smirk "oh. Shit. Leo." She jerked as she felt his long fingers slip between her legs.
"Gen, love. I'm not so sure about this. Why does it move like that?" Rashad began to panic. "It's supposed to move like that. Just calm down, it's gonna be so much fun." She patted his leg. "It's supposed to sound like it needs 4 quarts of oil on the rickety old Metal?" Genevieve let out a high pitched squeal. "This is going to be so much fun. If you piss your pants, I will laugh at you." Suddenly the ride jerked and picked up speed, their cart reached the top as it flipped over. Rashad let out a long girlish scream as they plummeted upside down towards the ground.
"Oh my god. Oh my god im gonna diiiiie." Liam screamed as Anitah laughed uncontrollably. She wasn't sure if it was the thrill of the ride, or Liam's girlish screams but she was definitely enjoying herself. "Oh god. Noooooo. Help me!" He screamed again, joining Rashad in fear stricken symphony.
The ride came to an end Liam ran to the nearest trash can, head inside as he puked. "Told you he would puke." Leo laughed as Anitah stood next to her husband, giving him a sympathetic pat on the back as the other hand gave him bunny ears for a photo.
A dizzy Rashad stumbled off the ride "see baby. That wasn't so bad." Genevieve looked at Rashad who was pale faced. "That was." He retched "I just…" His hand flew over his face as he bolted towards the trash can next to Liam.
"Looks like those two couldn't handle the ride huh?" Drake snorted as he and Pam approached the group. "Nope. Hey how come you two didn't ride? Scared Drake?" Alicia teased. "He wasn't scared. We just, had other plans." Pam blushed as Drake pulled her into his side. "Why are your pants unbuttoned?" Anitah questioned, before going wide eyed in realization. "How about we go back to the house, and get this party started." Leo Spoke up.
"For once, I agree with my brother. I've had enough of this." Liam spit into the trash can. "Wait. Where's Maxwell?"
"Maxwell. Max." They called, and he didn't come. "He will find his way back. Lets just go." Drake took Pam's hand "Drake, were in Washington, not Cordonia how's he going to find his way?" Anitah folded her hands across her chest. "He's like a damn puppy brooks. He will find his way home, now come on." Drake grunted as Anitah finally gave in.
Back at the house Drake and Leo ran to the store, returning a short while later with a few cases of beer and some liquor and wine. Still no sign of Maxwell. "I'm gonna call him." Alicia pulled her phone out and dialed his number, they heard it ringing inside. "Looks like he left his phone behind." Rashad lifted the phone off the counter. "I hope he is ok. Maybe we should call the police?" Pam worried, it wasn't like Maxwell to stray so far from the group.
Finally Maxwell came sauntering in, hands full of bags. "Maxwell!" Anitah shouted as she wrapped him in a hug "where the hell have you been?" She slapped his arm. "Ouch, hey little blossom that hurt!" He rubbed his arm "I went to the fireworks tent. Look at all the cool stuff I got. "I'll be taking these." Drake reached out to grab the bags, Maxwell recoiled defensively, clutching the explosives to his chest. "No, these are mine. Don't take my toys away Drake."
"Maxwell, let me see what you have." Leo walked over sorting through the bag. "Um Maxwell, most of these are illegal in DC. Where did you even get these?" Maxwell smiled, oh I took an Uber to Virginia. "Ok Maxwell. You can have these and these." Liam held him out a box of sparklers and some fountains. "The rest, were putting up." He handed the bags to Bastian.
"Yeah, can you imagine Maxwell with a damn mortar? He would blow up the damn shed over there." Drake chuckled, and then shook his head.
The night went on, the group getting drunker by the minute. Liam sat perched up on the steps of the pool, wearing American flag swim trunks and a stars and stripes bandana around his head. "Woooooo 'Merica!" He hollered as the group around him screamed " 'MERICA" back. Genevieve and Anitah danced on the picnic table in their skimpy bikinis, beers in hand. Alicia and Leo were busy in the corner. hands all over each other while Rashad and Maxwell played a game of washers.
"Hey, look what fell out of the bag." Pam beamed as she walked over with a small box. "The singing lotus?" Drake looked at it. "Huh. Looks like it plays the star spangled banner, when you light it." He pulled the content from the box and sat it on the patio next to the pool, carefully lighting the fuse and backing away.
The fireworks began to spin, sparks of red, gold and blue shot from the center while it played a very distorted version of the star spangled banner. "Oh my god. My ears, make it stop." Genevieve shouted as she held her hands over her ears.
Alicia stood up, momentarily stepping away from Leo and began to belt out the song.
Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
Gen and Anitah stopped dancing, and began to sing along. Pam joining in as well.
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
"Play ball!" Anitah and Alicia said in unison. They looked at the burned out dilapidated flower. "Man that was a sad excuse for a firework. " drake mumbled "Just look at it." The group looked down at the melted heap of plastic and soot.
As the night went on and the sun went down, the group were pretty drunk. Pam and Drake disappeared into the pool shed, Anitah and Genevieve continued to dance and sing on the picnic table while Rashad and Liam looked on. Leo and Alicia ended up in the pool together, while nobody noticed Maxwell had snuck off again. Anitah had convinced Liam to let her paint his face in the American Flag, so he just sat there arm slung over the chair, red white and blue face with a Budweiser in hand.
Rashad started to babble, staring straight ahead. He made no sense whatsoever and the only thing he could do was point. "Rashad, what the hell are you trying to say. Spit it out." Genevieve snapped. Finally climbing down from the picnic table she stood in front of him waving her hands in front of his face "helllooooo?" "Shiminag hemmeinah. Ah ma tha…" he babbled.
Suddenly a firework whizzed past Liam's head and exploded against the pool shed. "Run for cover." Liam screamed as he dove into the pool. Rashad still standing there dumbfounded Genevieve tried with all her might to pull him away, but he wouldn't budge. "I love you, but I don't feel like getting blown up." She yelled taking Anita's hand and jumping into the pool.
"What the fuck is going on out here?" Pam snapped as she and a Drake stumbled out of the shed. Another firework crashed into the shed, pam screamed and ran into the pool. Drakes pants fell around his ankles as he tried to run, he kicked them off and joined his wife in the pool.
Fireworks were flying dangerously low, explosions everywhere as Maxwell sensed the sudden danger and ran for cover under the porch. Alicia and Leo obvious to the Chao ensuing around them, continued to have sex in the corner of the pool. Alicia opened her eyes looking above her. "Leo. I see fireworks." She gasped. "I know baby. I have that effect. " she smirked as he thrust into her. "No, you ass. The fucking back yards a war zone." She tapped his shoulder, and pointed to the disaster area. Leo loomed around the pool, their friends and family screaming. Bastien on the phone with the fire company, deftly ducked under a bottle rocket headed straight for his head. "Beaumont, when I get my hands on you." Bastien shouted. "Im sorry bas. I didn't mean to light all the fuses." Maxwell shouted back.
Dark smoke plummeted from the pool shed where Pam was giving Drake a blow job, just moments prior. "Hope they got insurance " Leo joked as he and Alicia swam up to the group. Liam rolled his eyes taking not of their nude forms. "Where the hell are your clothes?" He held back a snicker. He wasn't three sheets to the wind drunk, he would have been more annoyed at the situation at hand.
"Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave…" Alicia began to sing. "This again?" Drake rolled his eyes. "Just sing along Walker." Pam kissed his lips.
"O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!" The group sang along, just as the fire company rushed in putting the shed out.
The following Monday Liam walked into the council meeting, shoulders back, head held high. The hushed whispers began to circulate the room as Liam cleared his throat. "Shall we begin?" After the meeting a young council member approached him. "Your majesty, please may I speak freely?" Liam nodded "of course Lord Nicholas. And its Liam."
"Liam. Why Is there a faded Flag on your face?" Liam hung his head and shook it, recalling the past weekend's antics. Sighing loudly, he lifted his head. "Nick. Have you ever been to America on the 4th of July?"
Tag List: @annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @indiacater @ooo-barff-ooo @ownworldresident @tornbetween2loves @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @editboutique @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lauradowning29 @lodberg @smalltalk88 @laniquelove-blog @gibbles82 @heatherfilliez @drakesensworld @nikkis1983 @sweetest-marbear @classylady1234 @daniv2278 @rainbowsinthestorm @jared2612 @liamxs-world @notoriouscs @blubutterflyy @captain-kingliamsqueen @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lynne1993 @coldcollectornight08 @be-still-my-aching-heart @kennaxval @the-soot-sprite @hopefulmoonobject @emichelle @cgd03 @kate-mckenzie @mfackenthal @crookedslimecreatorpasta @jemrmax2love @sashatrr @ao719 @cocomaxley @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom
#cgw trr au#cgw trr#cgw squad#cordonians gone wild#liam x anitah#Leo x Alicia#rashad x genevieve#drake x pam#drake walker#liam rhys#leo rhys#maxwell beaumont#rashad domvallier#bastien lykel
103 notes
·
View notes
Text
Somebody To Love (Part10- The Car Song)
(Ben!RogerTaylor)
Word count: 1,648
Warnings: None
A/N: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii
—————————————————
At the moment we were loading up the car to head off to where they will be recording the new album. "Bloody hell, why are you coming?" Paul asks as I put my bag in the boot with the others. "Oh piss off Paul. Believe me, I wanted to stay home for once. But Fred said I have to come too." I slam the boot then get in the car between Roger and Deaky. "You actually wanted to stay home?" Roger asked me. "God yes, I miss my bed." I say making the boys laugh. "I mean I understand where you're coming from. Your bed is bloody comfortable." Roger pokes my side nodding his head. "When did you sleep in her bed?" Brian asks from the other side of Deaky. "When I took care of him when he was sick." I lean forward to look at Brian.
We finally make it to Rockfield Farm and we all step out of the car. "Recording studio?" Roger looks around at our surrounding as I walk up next to him. "Well, the idea was to get away from all distractions. Alice, get your bags." Paul says walking pass us. "Whoa!" I turn around after getting my bags to see Roger back away from a rooster. "Roger! Leave him be and get your bags!" I shout at him holding my bags and we all make it inside. "Right, I know it's not the Ritz. Not even close. "Roger, you're in here. Freddie this is you. Biggest room. Brian, that's you. John, you're down stairs." I hear Paul tell everyone where they were staying and I just waited at the bottom of the stairs. After Paul showed Deaky his room, he saw me just standing there. "Yeah, there's nowhere for you to sleep... You can sleep in the barn." He laughs leaving me alone.
I drop my bags and head upstairs to talk to Roger. "That bloody asshole told me I have to sleep in the barn." I say walking into his room. "No bloody way, you have no where to sleep?" He asks opening his suitcase. "I'll probably crash the sofa." I say sitting on his bed. "No, I'll just share my room with you. I'm sure sharing a bed with me again isn't going to bother you. Plus it's my turn, on tour Brain and Deaky got to share their room with you." He says throwing one of his shirts at my face. "Fine then but you go get my bag from downstairs." I laugh folding his shirt and he rushes out of the room.
"We you're sharing Roger's room." Brian says in the door way. "Yeah, Paul was going to make me sleep in the bloody barn." I laugh as he makes a face. "Just don't let him get any ideas." Brian points his finger at me. "Yeah right, Brian. I have a brain you know that right?" I laugh and he nods his head. "Just making sure." He smiles before heads downstairs and Roger comes in. "Here you go my lady." He puts my suitcase next to me. "Thank you Roger." I pick it up and go through it.
Since it was the first day here on the farm, Freddie let us just relax for today. I was laying on Deaky's bed while he was put his things up. "I forgot to mention... how come you didn't tell us you and Veronica got married?" I sit up crossing my legs. "How do you know then?" He turns around to look at me. "We were talking about it over the phone. You boys forgot I'm friends with your girlfriends... Well just not Roger because he doesn't have one." I laugh standing up. "It's just because I didn't think it mattered to you all." He says shrugging his shoulders. "Well I do! And I had to find out through her. And that also you two had a baby boy. I have to see him when we get back." I hit him and he agrees. "Go bother your roommate!" He shoves me up the stairs.
Finally it was time to get some rest and I was freezing under the covers. Roger and the boys were still talking about the album downstairs. I should have packed trousers to sleep in. I shake in bed bringing my knees into my chest. "Goodnight Mates!" Roger tells opening the door. "I would like if you didn't yell." I say as he turned on his lap. "Sorry, I forgot. God it's bloody cold in here." He said getting his clothes to change into. "I know, I've been trying to fall asleep for the past 40 minutes freezing to death." I say pulling the blankets up more. "I hate it here." He says changing his clothes as I rolled over. "It's nice outside at least." I say as I feel him lay down next to me and I could feel the heat from his body.
"Come here, you're freezing." He pulls me into his side and I immediately wrap my arm and leg around him. "I'm sorry, you're warm and I'm so cold." I look up at him. "It's alright, goodnight." He kisses the top of my head and I fall asleep.
~
Day Three At Rockfield Farm:
I wake up before the rest of the band and I get out of bed getting dressed for the day. I make my way out of the building towards where the kitchen is to make breakfast for everyone. For the past two days the band has just been working on lyrics. While me on the other hand is either helping Deaky with lyrics, or I'm just reading and walking around the farm. When I was almost finished three walk in talking about songs. "Good morning boys!" I smile at them and their mouths drop. "You made breakfast!" Roger yells running around to hug me. "Well yeah, it's finished so you guys can make your plates." I smile at them and make my plate first listening to their conversation.
"So what were you three talking about when you enter?" I ask taking a seat. "Oh don't get him started again." Deaky takes a seat next to me. "We were talking about our songs we wrote." Brian sits next to Deaky as they eat. "You know, I have only see Deaky's song. What about you two." I look at the other two. "I put my heart and soul into this song." Roger said cutting food as the rest of us ate. Apparently Roger was and is mad that they don't like his song that he thinks is great. "No one is disputing that." Deaky tells him. "And you don't like it because you want your songs on the album!" Roger starts to get worked up.
"It's not that Roger." Deaky says and Roger looks at him, "Then what is it?" He asks annoyed and I was curious since I didn't know anything about Roger's song. "I'm in love with my car." Brian says and I bit my tongue while Roger glares at him. "Maybe it's not strong enough?" Brian suggests. "What does that even mean, not strong enough?" He asks getting annoyed again. "I know I'm late. What did I miss?" Fred asks walking stopping next to me. "Discussing Roger's car song." I turn to look at him.
"Is it strong enough? That's all I'm asking. If I'm on my own here, then I apologize." Brian speaks up again and Roger speaks up, "How does your new song go then, hmm?" Roger takes Brian's paper, "You call me sweet, like I'm some kind of cheese." He says and I let out a small giggle. "It's good." Brian defense himself. "Wow." Roger says. "When my hand's on your grease gun... That's very subtle, isn't it?" Brian looks at Roger's lyrics and I slightly giggle again. "It's a metaphor, Brian." He gets pissed. "It's just a bit weird, Roger." I speak up now and he looks at me.
"What exactly are you doing with that car?" Deaky asks the mad drummer. "Children please... we could all murder each other but then who would be left to record this album?" Fred now speaks to all of us. "Statistically speaking, most bands don't fail, they break up." Deaky tells Fred and Roger sighs. "Why the hell would you say something like that? Roger, there is only room in this band for one hysterical queen." Freddie says looking back at Roger before grabbing his drink and leaves.
"You know why you're angry, Roger?" Brian starts to talk again making me mentally scream at him. "Why?" Roger asks him. "Cause you know your song isn't strong enough." I watch as Roger walks towards the pan. "Not..." I speak but it was too late. "Is that strong enough?" He asks throwing the bacon at Brian and he doesn't stop there. "What about that?!" He slides all the plates and drinks off but I slide mine away from him. He then goes to pick up the coffee machine, "Not the coffee machine!" The three of us yell at him with our hands up and he stops.
I get out of my seat and walk around to him taking the machine out of his hand putting it back where it belongs. "Hey, let's go for a little walk." I take his hand into mine and lead him outside. "What do you think about it?" He stops making me stop too. "Roger, just follow me and we can talk about it." I look him in his eyes and he nods his head. I lead us more out into the field and I sit down in a hill. "The ground?" Roger looks down at me. "It's not going to bite you." I laugh as he sits next to me. "Now about your car song..." I turn smiling at him.
#ben!roger taylor#ben hardy#gwilym lee#joe mazzello#rami malek#queen#roger taylor#brain may#john deacon#freddie mercury#borhap boys#bohemian rapsody movie#bohrhap#bohemian rhapsody
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Post #2 - Thank You
What an overwhelming 36 hours it's been. An endless amount of phone calls & messages of support got me through what was an agonising day of waiting yesterday. This blog was started to keep my family and close friends informed about my journey but it's grown into so much more.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you to each and every single one of you that took the time to reach out and wish me the best of luck. A simple message of support may not seem like much to you, but when you're in a situation like mine it means so much. Thank you.
Monday night provided the worst sleep I've had in weeks. Keep in mind, i've had some terrible sleeps in that time! Why? It was nerves. Simple as that. I was nervous for the gastroscopy and biopsy. It wasn't the procedure itself but the anaesthetic side to the operation. I haven't been under since I was five and the unknown had my measure. What if they didn't put me under fully? What if I could feel the procedure? What if I woke up early? What if I didn't wake up at all?
In retrospect, I lost sleep over nothing.
With the little sleep I did have, I woke up Tuesday morning earlier than normal. I was expecting the gastroscopy between 8:30am - 11:30am and knew I was booked in for a Radionuclide Ventriculography (RVG) scan of my heart later that afternoon.
Since being in hospital, 9am has been my regular time to get up, shower, brush the chompers - y'know, get ready for the day of sitting in my little 3x3 room and watching the world go past. Tuesday however, I was up and about at 7:30 - showered and ready. I hate feeling dirty, so if my procedure was at 8:30, I'd be ready to go.
Breakfast rolled around at 8:00 and I had to politely decline it as I was required to fast from 12am for the procedure.
This is about the time when my previous blog post took off and messages started coming in for the remainder of the morning. Before I knew it, it was 11am and nobody had been to get me for my procedure yet. I called the nurse and enquired to which I was told to hand tight, it shouldn't be much longer. Whilst she was around, she did my daily observations and it was no surprise to see my heart rate up to 100+BPM (regularly around 65BPM resting) and a slightly higher blood pressure. I guarantee this was due to the nerves.
Lunch comes around at 12:30 and once again had to politely decline. 12 hours fasting thus far - lucky I don't have an appetite still and honestly didn't care! It was around this time the doctor comes around with the results of my Lumbar Puncture. This fortunately came back negative as there was no major changes to the one I had three weeks ago. White blood cells still present with a marginally higher protein count than normal. I once again mentioned about my gastroscopy or there lack of and the doctor assumed I'd already had it. He said he'd follow it up and get back to me.
Mentally, I'm okay. Still incredibly nervous and a little frustrated I prepared myself for a procedure between 8:30 - 11:30 and still nothing. Your messages of support continue to light up my phone, which certainly kept me pre-occupied and made the time fly by.
Finally! 2:43pm and somebody comes to my bed to pick me up. "Justin Smith for a procedure? Let's go." I mentally build myself up as they take me. With my heart beating the quickest it had all day, we get going. Minutes later, we get into quite a dark room with a single scanner to my left and a glass wall. The radiographer, Liv meets me and goes through the basic questions. Name? Date of birth? Address? What are you here for? "A gastroscopy and biopsy" I reply. A few seconds of awkward silence follows so I split it with an "I think..." hoping to relieve the slight tension.
Liv replies with "not quite. We're here to do your Radionuclide Ventriculography scan of your heart."
My heart dropped. I spent the past fifteen minutes mentally preparing to go under and it's not even for the right procedure; I almost feel robbed!
To give you a brief understanding, the RVG scan involves injecting a small amount of radioactive material into your blood stream where they then track it until it passes through the heart, ensuring the heart is healthy and working as it should to a level that it should. Why am I having this scan? Good question. The doctors wanted to get ahead of the game essentially. Providing the biopsy comes back positive for lymphoma, I will need chemotherapy. The level of that chemo will depend, however if I do happen to require a strong dose, it can have negative effects to the heart. This scan is to ensure they have a baseline reading of my heart and ensure it will be able to handle a high dose of chemo.
This scan took 40 minutes from start to finish and before I knew it, I was up in my ward again. By this time, dad had arrived so at least I had somebody to talk to and reassure me when the time comes to get my gastroscopy.
4:00pm and the time finally came. 16 hours of fasting, I was slightly hungry but by this stage, I just wanted to get the procedure over and done with. I was still nervous, but more relieved the time had come. Having dad there for the hour or so beforehand made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
The operation itself involved a gastroscopy (camera down my throat into my stomach) and if they could see lymphnodes, get a biopsy to test.
Cutting to the chase, was it worth worrying for 16+ hours? Not at all. All I remember is them checking my blood pressure, putting something in my cannula and asking me to count to 10. I got to 12 and next thing I know, I woke up coughing my lungs up in recovery with a nurse next to me. Luckily, the coughing only lasted for about fifteen minutes and that was just a result of irritating my throat.
Apparently, the gastroscopy went well and they were able to get a couple of good tissues from the lymphnodes to biopsy. Additionally, they also took the following photos whilst they were inside - I have no idea what they're of or even if anything is okay, but I thought they were cool!
For the first 45 minutes after the procedure, I felt fine. I was great! I felt incredibly thirsty and hungry but I assume that was simply due to the fact I hadn't eaten. Things from here turned pretty quickly once I had some dinner and a glass of water. I started to go downhill pretty quickly - feeling incredibly fatigued and tired....essentially dopey. It was from here I knew I just needed to have some rest and I'd wake up better in the morning. Needless to say, I was asleep by 9pm and basically slept through the night...except for when the nurses woke me up at 11pm, 12pm. 3am and 5am.
Waking up this morning (Wednesday July 17th), I instantly felt a lot better than I had last night. Admittedly, I had a bit more of a sleep in than I generally would've - it was great. I use the term 'sleep in' lightly though - it's nothing like a sleep in at home! What was the plan of attack for today? Well to be honest I wasn't too sure. A doctor yesterday mentioned briefly about a bone marrow test however the nurses and doctors on had no idea about one and couldn't see one booked in. I hadn't eaten since the night prior however the nurses got me to fast once again whilst they investigated. As a result, breakfast was staring me right in the face and I couldn't even touch my beloved weetbix, milk and sugar!
The clock ticks over to 10:37 and a Young, lanky doctor comes by. "Hi Justin, I'm Alex and I'll be doing your bone marrow procedure today..." Alex went on to explain the procedure, risks and what to expect. As he finished and started to walk away I had one last burning question. "When are we doing it? Later this afternoon?" "Now" Alex replied.
Woah. Wait. What? Hang on two seconds. I'm not prepared for this. You mean now...as in like, once Alex had finished preparing? You betcha....
Now I was under the assumption I'd be getting knocked out as I had done the night before however Alex proceeded to explain they'll put some medication in my cannula that "makes you feel like you've had four or five beers" as well as some local anaesthetic. No point being worried or scared about it - if it's getting done bedside, it couldn't be near as bad as the lumbar puncture, right? Once again, like I have been for the past few weeks I was completely and utterly wrong.
First though, what's this procedure involve? Basically, blood, white blood cells and platelets are produced in your bone marrow. This can be accessed via key areas of your body depending on your age...for me it was my hipbone - left side to be exact. The aim of the procedure is to get these fresh samples of blood, white blood cells and platelets as well as get a sample of my bone marrow - generally one small sample of the bone.
Alex got me curled up in the fetal position, lying on my right and basically began straight away. A few local anaesthetic needles numbed the surface before he inserted a needle in to collect the blood samples. This part was similar to a lumbar puncture, but I couldn't feel as much internally.
Alex then stated he was starting the bone marrow collection, which was without fail the worst part of this whole experience so far. He used the large needle with a blue handle, which can be seen below.
Alex hit the bone and advised me the next part was only going to tickle a little bit. What's he do? He starts to screw into my bone. Whilst I couldn't see, it felt very similar to uncorking a bottle of wine. Whilst he went in no deeper than 1mm, christ it hurt. The worst part was yet to come. Much like the pressure behind uncorking a bottle of wine, this happened too. Alex yanked the sample out and the pressure and pain was immense! Done. It's all done. Thank goodness. Then Alex said the words I didn't want to hear next. "Y'know what Justin? We want to make sure we only have to do this once, so let's get another sample, eh?"
Oh my lord. Are you kidding me? Whatever. Lets do it. I want to get it over and done with. I don't even think I replied, just mumbled something along the lines of whatever. And thus, the process happens again. I've attached photos of the two samples below, which I thought were pretty cool!
I must admit, Alex was incredible during the procedure. I asked at the start to keep me informed throughout the whole process. I'm quite an inquisitive character when things are happening that I don't know what the process is and this was no different. Alex not only kept me informed, he did as much as he could to keep me as comfortable as I could be during such a procedure. One thing I was incredibly surprised at was how much blood was on his hands!
Not much happened throughout the rest of today to be honest. Courtney, dad and mum came to visit but that was it. The doctors advised they are expecting the result of the biopsy tomorrow afternoon (hopefully) however they said it could take anywhere up to 72 hours from the procedure - which puts it at Friday night or Monday. Where does that put me? Same boat as I have been throughout this entire process - just waiting for answers.
I was advised that the results could come back either negative or inconclusive. Whilst this wouldn't be ideal, it's unfortunately just going to be another roadblock in this venture. In preparation the results don't come back the way we probably expect the, too, I'm booked in for an ultrasound of my gall bladder tomorrow. That will be their next avenue to answers. I suspect this is because my PET scan showed up significant areas in my gall bladder and I suppose that's not exactly a vital cog of the human body...so I suspect they'll just remove it, cut it open and see what's inside. But that's nowhere near a medical analysis of what's going to happen.
Before I finish for tonight, I'll leave you with how I am mentally. How am I going despite all this? Y'know what? I'm actually the opposite to what you probably think I am. I'm in the best mental state I have been over the past six weeks. Why? I think it's because we're close to (hopefully) getting an answer or at least following a more solid path to answers.
I end tonight with a final thank you. Thank you for all the messages and endless love. It's helping - trust me, it is.
Juzz xx
6 notes
·
View notes