#it's an uphill battle and I'm tired

[rrcraft-and-lore]

Happens here too. The US.

And I tried to address a lot of this stuff and some of the things said in my cab driver novel.

The problem it's "hard to connect" to by an industry predominantly filled with people who've never experienced that and don't understand the impact to people, character, and how much that changes personal narrative and thus back into a fictive one from that perspective.

Your entire thought process on life and risks and everything are different.

There's an expectation for certain Asian communities to fall into the model minority trap.

Also be: submissive, meek, compliant.

When I first pursued acting I saw this stereotype enforced and expected almost unknowingly by people.

Same in fiction.

It's changing now, but...it's an uphill battle.

Take for example the history of Sikhs in warfare. Used as cannon fodder by the British, well respected warriors, served in armies around the world, even WWI and WWII for America as well, not just the British. But you don't hear about that. It's something that's talked about in Asiatic circles.

With what Bruce Lee did for the Chinese community. He smashed through stereotypes and showed badassery. Chinese martial arts. A Chinese ass kicking hero. But there were obstacles.

And it's what motivated me to write a book based off things I saw and experienced and also understand - trying to address stuff I don't think people are aware of especially in fiction. And, make a narrative that actually reads in that way - the pacing, considerations, and more.

We're told to always have actiony/ACTIVE characters.

But what we forget is a lot of poc's don't have that activeness/agency in their own lives due to certain systems, expectations, and things like this. And, other concerns. So what then does that narrative actually look like? And, what does that fight and reconciliation with one's self to get that agency look like as well? I worked hard to answer that and more in The Cab Driver.

I def need to thank WaylandSmith1 and ZacTopping for reading, liking, blurbbing, and vetting the accuracy of certain law enforcement, gang, and other aspects of the novel too.

But, yeah. It's been on my mind.

[bushfulofbirds]

Tired RW,BY fan braves hbomb video after three years (he finally downloaded it of Internet Archive), more at 12

[gentlethorns]

i hate my fucking body. i hate that it's turned against me and now it seems like there is always something wrong w me or something not working the way it should. i feel so much anger towards my body bc it literally feels like it works against me constantly and ik that's not a good relationship to have w my body but it's so frustrating to constantly have to overcome how my body feels so i can do the things i want or need to do

[exospherethoughts]

I don't know how to feel. My psychiatrist told me I do have OCD, and now I just, don't know how to feel or what to do. I know logically speaking, having the label doesn't change my symptoms or what my daily experiences are, but it still feels so devastating to know there's another separate thing wrong with me. Some of the things I thought were just quirks are compulsions, habits I picked up that I *need* to do to keep my anxiety manageable are things I'm going to have to learn to stop doing, I'm questioning the source of every single thought I have now, I don't know how much of who I am is actually me and how much of it is the OCD (which things are quirks and which ones are compulsions? which thoughts are really mine and which ones are seeds of intrusive thoughts? do I even have any thoughts anymore that aren't obsessive spirals?), I feel the need to tease apart what is OCD and what's ADHD but that in and of itself is a compulsion, I feel like I have to monitor everything that goes through my head to check if it's an obsession/compulsive rumination (is that a compulsion too?), I'm so tired. I want a moment of peace and quiet, just a moment of silence, a break. But nothing makes it go quiet. Drinking helps for a little while but even that just numbs things out a bit, it doesn't make my mind go properly quiet. I wish I could put my head through a bloody wall.

[shadowed-dancer]

Villains and Their Fates - A Tragedy Would Have Been Fine By Me

I've seen a lot of people who try to write off frustration with the league's fates by saying "you just wanted them to survive" or "you're just upset your favourite character died". And while that may be true for a few people, I know that it's at least not true for myself (which must mean there are others who feel the same way). So today I'm here to share my thoughts. Despite liking the villains and wanting them to be redeemed, I was also willing to accept a well written ending if they died. I just wanted to ramble a bit about the three main villains (mostly Toga) and how I felt a tragic ending could have been improved.

The only villain I felt should have lived is Dabi, but that's more because of the awkwardness his unconfirmed death caused for Shoto (read this beautifully written analysis for more). If Dabi had to die, he should have died on the battle field OR in the hospital surrounded by family where he gets a few last words in. Leaving his fate unconfirmed leads to the ruined Shoto arc, but is also just weird for a character who has existed for so long. You're telling me that even Overhaul gets a confirmed ending but DABI doesn't?

I've also talked a bit about how Endeavor's survival ruins the subplot, and in 426 he continues by making Touya's final appearance about him (rather than the two brothers) but that's something I've talked about too much. If Endeavor has to be alive and hogging screen time, the least Hori could do is imply Touya will survive rather than die, so at least Enji isn't literally stealing time from his other family members to have some interaction with Touya.

If Touya has to end up in that machine, an ideal ending would have been the doctor saying "it will be a gruelling and near-impossible uphill climb to recovery" and then Shoto can smile and say "he's done it before". Boom. Simple as that. Leave it open, but at least on a positive note so we can assume that the family will have plenty of time to reconcile, as opposed to an unknown (but limited) amount of time that Enji vows to use to talk to him (yeah I know it's supposed to be a sweet gesture but even Touya calls bullshit on it). Let Shoto and Touya eat their soba, damn it!

For Shigaraki, my grievances extend to the writing of the entire final battle between him and Deku. As such, I don't have much to say aside from that because it really is just a product of poor writing. Neither were really allowed to talk before the big moment (hell, the vestiges were narrating Deku's emotions half the time like "he must be upset, this quirk meant so much to him". Why not let him tell us???) and the back-and-forth of Shigaraki being destroyed and then not only to be destroyed again was too much. It felt sloppy and hard to follow, and once you figured it out it just felt dumb. It's as if each chapter needed some massive reveal, but the story had done it so much at this point that it just felt tired and like it was happening "because Hori said so", and that should never be what drives a story.

Speaking of "because Hori said so"...

Oh Toga. Out of all the villains, I actually liked her confrontation the most. (Lies. If Dabi vs Shoto was the end of Dabi's fight, THAT would have been the best. But the Endeavor fight ruins it). Despite having limited screen time, Toga and Uraraka had a surprisingly well-built dynamic. Their few interactions were actually meaningful and created a strong foundation for a fight, and at the very least they had more of a personal connection than Deku and Shigaraki ever did. I think that Toga giving her blood to someone she loves (as opposed to drinking/taking their blood like she had said the whole series) is a beautifully tragic end to her character, but still something that could have fit.

To me, the problem comes with how she died. Let me replay the scene for you: Toga stabs Uraraka in the stomach and Uraraka bleeds too much because she keeps moving around. Toga then realizes she doesn't want Uraraka to die. To save her life, Toga has to do a blood transfusion with herself as a donor and she dies because she has to give ALL her blood.

Now... sure. Ok. Fine. Yeah. Maybe by real-world logic this makes sense. I guess. Whatever. But within the world of MHA, this setup is laughable.

Here's a list of things characters survived (or at least, they survived LONG ENOUGH to get to a hospital rather than dying on the battlefield): Deku shattering his bones with 1 million percent, whatever happened to Best Jeanist when AFO attacked him, Nighteye getting a massive spike through the torso, All Might with "his entrails strewn across the ground", Bakugo becoming Swiss cheese, Grand Torino being punched so hard a crater forms beneath him, Touya being a literal flaming skeleton, Bakugo's heart exploding, Edgeshot becoming a worm. Mirko getting a limb ripped off and then running full speed at Shigaraki. That's just off the top of my head, I know there's probably more.

But you want to tell me that Uraraka getting stabbed and then moving was a fatal wound that required ALL TOGA'S BLOOD? ALL OF IT? The reason Toga's death bothers me is that the setup cheapens the actual moment of sacrifice. It feels preventable, so when she tells us that Uraraka is going to die without her blood, all I could do is roll my eyes because I'm not allowed to use critical thinking skills, I have to just accept what Hori says and take it at face value.

If the author wants you to live as Edgeworm despite saying you were gonna die, you can. But if the author needs a stab wound to be fatal and require ALL of someone's blood? Well tough luck bud, that's just how it goes. Mirko can run and move all she wants after having a limb ripped off, but moving a bit after one stab wound is fatal. Why? Because I say so.

If Uraraka's wound was actually serious then this ending would have been a beautiful tragedy. But as it stands now, the ridiculousness of her wound makes it all feel preventable.

Oh, there's also the fact that Toga switching blood types when she transforms was never established, but I've rambled enough.

That's it. Thanks for reading!

[marsprincess889]

Ok so I'm back to bringing you guys' attention to what's going on in my country.

I don't have the heart to tell it all in detail. In truth we're all so familiar with it that talking about it seems comical. But to keep you up to date, there have been massive protests in Tbilisi, Georgia since late November.

On 25th of October of this year, the Georgian Dream party falsifies yet another election and on the 26th of november elects themselves as the ruling party again, despite EU, most of the other nations and all the other parties recognizing the elections as illegitimate. Recently they chose their new president, who was basically the only option. The photo of the literal bulletin from the parliament leaked.

People demand another election, a fair one. Peaceful protests soon turned into police beating up the protestors, even teens and women. They're still using water cannons mixed with pepper spray, in December btw. You can look up the videos, even on here.

The main thing that is painful to me and my generation in all of this is the fact that this is a completely new, modern and different version of the same damn fight. Right now I'm thinking of young men and even women and others who were severely beaten up, about people struggling to make ends meet who have their loved ones in such situations, young people trying to build their future who see less and less hope every day in their homeland but are desparately trying to hold on to the last tiny bit of it, maybe even goimg to protests in that state. Today I heard two girls around my age talking. "We gotta get out of here right?..." "yeah... but who are we leaving it to?" "The country?..."

Being free and sovereign in your homeland should not be an uphill battle or a luxury.

We have been fighting against Russian influence for centuries. For those who don't know, even when the repression isn't obvious, they still attack bit by bit(killing or kidnapping our citizens near the occupated borders??????), often with an old and tried tactic: trying to erase our culture and history, and with it our spirit and identity. And with all the other horrors, this is a huge insult.

My heart sinks everytime I read a random comment on a map or other type of video saying "Georgia is not Europe", "but Georgia is Asia". Not that there's anything wrong with Asia, but those statements mean something different and much deeper than an average foreigner suspects. Georgia never ever was "not Europe" to me. This isn't even about joining EU immediately as much as it is about us voicing our own wishes, opinions and truth as the vast majority of our country.

One thing I want to say to people who are far away from this is this: please do not fall for propaganda. And by that I mean Russian propaganda. If you just try to keep it clean while posting about us or checking sources while reading about us and calling out misinformation, it is going to mean a lot.

I tried to not write about this cause let's be honest, what can I do here?

I hope this will do at least something.

I do have followers so, I'm also asking them🤍🤍🤍 even those who just know me from astrology. Please consider reading and reblogging. 🤍🤍

reblogging(esp with tags) is still support.

Edit, additional info that you should probably know: Georgian Dream is a pro-russian government, they just banned wearing masks and goggles(those protect you from pepper spray by the way). If you walk by the parliament in Tbilisi your eyes and skin will almost definitely start to "burn" and you'll most likely start coughing.

There have been phone numbers calling and cursing at/insulting/threatening citizens, even pre-teens, believe it or not. And since the government passed "the russian law" earlier this year, we are most likely being tracked😐

Here is my post from this spring, written in an angry and tired state.

[ratajota]

hey. this year's been an uphill battle, my work is worth half what it used to be and there's no relief in sight. and i'm tired. i'm very tired. why am i grinding and working my ass off on the holidays and thinking of ways i can make the last packs of lentils and rice work and one last egg last until some gig shows up

i've literally never done this because i've always tried to get work first and struggle in silence but nothing is showing up so here's my kofi. anything helps. otherwise ‼ i'm still willing to do simple portraits due for christmas or whatever For Real i don't want my phone line to be taken down again‼ 😭

[xoxoavenger]

Hey! Since you’re taking requests, can I request a sort of part two (not necessarily it could jsut be a stand alone) to Days of Future Past where what if younger Charles had a wife in the 70s where reader decides to break it off with Charlie’s casue the love she had for him begun to slowly dwindle because of all the events that happened in the last fic. And while she does care for him as the father of her son and fully expects him to still be in his sons life, she can’t be with him anymore since it’s to much

Broken

pairing: Charles Xavier x Fem!Reader

word count: 739

warnings: angst, no comfort

notes: Days Of Future Past was posted a year ago for my birthday celebration, so it's only fitting that I post the long awaited part 2 for another birthday celebration 🥰

Days Of Future Past (part 1)

birthday celebration main masterlist

The thing about change is that it doesn't happen overnight.

When Logan went back to his own time, Y/N never expected Charles to go back to normal immediately. She knew it would be an uphill battle. But she was pregnant and tired of waiting.

"You're joking." Charles says. They're in his study, Y/N standing even though she is due in a week. They haven't had any conversations that aren't about their son since Logan came, and they need to have this conversation before there's a baby taking up all their time. When she brought up her decision, he didn't seem to like it.

"I know you're on cocaine." She says point blank. She's known for awhile, but it's finally time to force him to get his shit together.

"If you're going to leave me, you might as well go before our son comes." He doesn't think she'll actually do it. He goes back to his work, sitting behind his desk as if she'll huff and walk out. But His words just make her more sure in her decision. She takes a deep breath and looks over at him.

"Charles. I am leaving you. We're not arguing about that right now. What we're talking about is if you're going to be in our son's life or not." She can tell this makes Charles mad, but she has to think of herself and her son. She can't stay with Charles, not when he continuously puts her through tough times. She doesn't know how she's even gotten through this pregnancy when all he's done is get high or drunk and act like she wasn't pregnant for six months.

"What the fuck?" Charles blinks, looking up slowly. "You can't just leave as we're about to have a kid!" His argument infuriates her.

"I'm not in love with you anymore!" She screams, the room going completely quiet. They stare at each other, both hurting.

"What does that mean?" He whispers, and she almost wants to take it back. She can't though, because it's the truth.

"I'll always love you, Charles." She tells him, walking closer slowly. "But after what you put me through, I'm not in love with you."

"I need you." He tells her, reaching out when she gets close enough and grabbing her hand. "I can't get through life without you."

"I'll be here." She assures, moving his hand to her protruding stomach. "There will be a piece of us in this world soon, and I would go through everything again for him. But you and I cannot work together. At least not now." Tears begin to fall from Charles' eyes.

"I can quit." He mutters, and she nods.

"I know you can. And you're going to for our son." She moves to sit on his desk. He puts his head against her stomach, tears soaking her shirt.

"I need you." He repeats, and she just shakes her head.

"Our son needs you." She cards her hands through his hair. "Maybe in another time, we can be together, but you've put me through too much."

"I'm sorry." He finally whispers, and she nods, trying not to cry. "I love you so much."

"I know you do." She tells him. A part of her feels bad. She knows he's trying. But it's too little too late, and she can't sacrifice any more of herself.

"I can change." He promises.

"Charles," She pulls away from him, looking down. "I know you can change. But I can't wait for it. I can't keep giving up pieces of myself to fix you." She feels the need to kiss him, for the comfort and the repetitiveness. But it'll only hurt worse.

"I don't need to be fixed. I just need time." He begs, and it's the same thing Y/N has heard over and over.

"I don't have time to give you." She tells him truthfully, moving away from him now. "Our baby will be brilliant. He will have two loving parents. But they will not be together. For their sake and his."

"Y/N," He starts, but he doesn't have anything left to say. He has nothing left to beg with.

"I love and care for you." She whispers. "But I am not in love with you. You have taken things from me that you cannot give back. Broken things you can't repair. And I can't forgive you for that."

She walks out without looking back, going to move her stuff out of their room. 

//

tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @thefandomplace  @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch

[hymemena]

Sadderday Prompts

Feel free to change pronouns as necessary, and remember to specify muse for multimuse blogs.

CW: Self Deprecation, Depression, Anxiety, Mental Health, Medication, Abandonment Issues

—

"You wouldn't understand."

"Why me?"

"It's not fair, is it?"

"It feels like it's always an uphill battle."

"I'm tired. Like a bone-deep, never getting better kind of tired."

"If you want it that way, then fine."

"What's the point?"

"I'm too tired to fight anymore."

"Whatever light was in my life walked out with them."

"Don't leave."

"I can't stand seeing happy couples."

"Sometimes it just... Hurts. It still hurts."

"There's nothing left of the person you used to know."

"How many times are you going to call me dramatic when I'm telling you something is wrong?"

"Hope's a curse, or poison, or something similar."

"You say 'tomorrow's another day' like that means it can only get better. News flash: It never gets better."

"I want to be alone."

"I'm at my wit's end."

"I can't."

"I can't keep doing this."

"It's not enough anymore."

"I'm not taking my meds. They make me feel like a zombie."

"I'm not crying."

"I... I don't know. I guess the dam just... Fucking broke."

"Don't stay."

"You should have left already."

"I don't want to be alone."

"Look, you shouldn't love me. All I ever do is let down anyone that's ever had faith in me."

"I... Know it's been a while."

"It's only been a couple years. You couldn't have missed me that much."

"What's there to even miss?"

"Have you even met me?"

[justheretobreakthings]

As an aroace who frequently feels frustrated by the inability to escape romance and sex whereever you turn, it's easy to become very cynical about the state of media and the uphill battle. So it's definitely really encouraging to see that there's a viable market for aroace-friendly content, one that's significant enough that perhaps in the near future we'll get to see more big media companies catering to that market. And that's in addition to the fact that today's younger generation is a lot more aware of queer identities and diversity than those who have been the big players in media creation for so long now, which means it's very likely that soon we'll get to see more creators who are willing to break away from the narrow standards of character relationships that writers often stick to now.

This article is from October 2023, so it's pretty up-to-date, even though being accustomed to Internet Time makes me feel like I'm super late to this. Anyway, have an excerpt from the article for some highlights:

Teens in the US are wondering why they don’t see more platonic relationships on screen. And that’s just one of many key takeaways from the second-annual Teens & Screens report released today by the Center for Scholars and Storytellers (CSS) at UCLA. [...] When it comes to the types of relationships shown on screen, teens are tired of love triangles and “will they or won’t they” storylines. A majority of respondents (55%) expressed a desire to see more focus on friendships in film and TV.  “While some storytellers use sex and romance as a shortcut to character connection, it’s important for Hollywood to recognize that adolescents want stories that reflect the full spectrum of relationships,” noted Uhls. More than half (51.8%) of all teens surveyed also said sexual content was not necessary in most series and films. Another indicator of what CSS calls a “nomance” trend is the fact that 38% of the teen sample said they are particularly keen to see more aromantic/asexual characters.  On average, all of the respondents ranked romantic clichés among their five least favorite fictional stereotypes. (And that’s quite a shift from when love triangles reigned supreme in fairly recent teen-skewing film franchises like To All the Boys and Twilight.)

Here's a link to the report discussed in the article for those interested.

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi there; first, thank you for making this blog and all the lessons you do, i really appreciate them as a Black person because it highlights a lot of struggles i face with fandoms in general, and why i dont interact more in certain spaces. it makes me feel seen

with regards to your questions, i'd also like answers to them from nonblack fans, especially nonblack anime fans. i don't even mean consuming anime with overtly racist caricatures of black characters (because numerous anime fans pirate their anime and never send a cent to the creators anyway), i mean how can they make fanworks of it?

how can they look at something that they are told is wildly offensive, but then defend with "well, this is how it looks in canon"? where is the line drawn between what's okay and what isn't? as long as it's slow and gradual, is there no line at all?

these are probably just rehashings of your own followup questions, so please excuse that, but i do have an anecdote

i joined a casual anime server the other day and a lot of folks were lamenting one Black character's racist design and how often those on social media will replicate it without thinking/caring. The thing that struck me is that, I've checked this character's tumblr tag regularly for a long time. There are always people who will post art/fanworks of this character with his racist design. Yet hardly ever, if ever, (outside of Black fans) have I seen any of these folks- the ones in the discord server- try to talk to artists/writers/fan creators/etc via asks/replies/etc. There's a notable amount of people in that server and a notable amount that agreed the design was outright racist and that they'll never make fanworks like that, and yet still silence

i'm not entirely sure what would be the line, or the "okay, that's enough" moment to spur any of these folks into action. i'm not sure if there is one. the only reason i don't make my own "hey what is wrong with all of you" post and blow up is because I've made a wonderful little friend group in this fandom who get it, and I don't want them to get caught up in whatever happens if I were to make a post like that

And this is just for getting people to stop using the canon design of the character, i.e., to stop drawing him as a racist caricature. This isn't touching on the people who 1) lighten his skintone [he's been horribly whitewashed over time, which has been reflected in some fanarts and fan merch], or 2) give him a looser hair/straight hair texture, rather than his type 4 hair (there's also #3, which is fanfiction with straight up slurs, and horribly racist writing in it that my friend heavily warned me not to read, but that was more of a one-off case and I've had the creator blocked a long time now).

my point being, we (Black fans) can't even get folks to stop with the caricatures, which we have to start with, and then there's even more of an annoying uphill battle with the other stuff. I'm just so tired of all of this; it makes me want delete my own works and turn away from fandom all together because i can't stand it.

trying for polite and assuming ignorance hardly ever works, speaking bluntly doesnt work at all, making public posts hardly goes anywhere (partly because of how rarely people reblog things anymore, partly because it makes people 'uncomfortable' to share this information with others). Black fans so obviously need help to combat this, and yet it's like sitting at a tea party and hearing all these pretty words in this one setting, yet nobody does anything different/better when the party's over/outside this setting.

sorry for dooming a bit, but like, genuinely i would like to know where the line is for nonblack folks? what is the point/are the points where you would speak up against antiblack racism? have you ever considered speaking up? if there's ever a moment you recognized antiblack racism and didn't say anything, why didn't you? did you consider how your lack of speaking up might affect your fellow Black fans? or how Black fans may be interpret this as silent agreement with the racists/with the racist 'norm'?

..those could maybe be alternative ways of asking your last followup question?

(if i've made any blunders or overstepped here, please let me know!)

No, I'm glad you spoke up! I too would like to see answers!

[celebrate-lesbianism]

Butch Self-Esteem

Sometimes feeling good about yourself is an uphill battle when you are butch. I often feel like I am not enough by anyone's standards. All of the insecurities I have about my body (being short, curvy, too soft) are confirmed by other people on the internet when they run butches down, call us ugly gremlins, 2/10s, compare us to men, etc.

I'm tired and I've had enough, so here are some things that I've been doing to build myself back up:

I refuse to make self-deprecating jokes anymore.

When I say something bad about myself in my head, I must say something positive to counter it.

I follow people who look like me on TikTok and notice positive attributes we have in common.

Before leaving the house, I say one good thing about how I look.

When I find myself sizing myself up against someone else, I remember that person has insecurities too and that we can look different and both still look good.

I exercise and make good choices for my body.

I spend quality time with people who make me feel good about myself.

[starlene]

Medical tmi + health thoughts under the cut:

If everything goes as planned, I'm about to have the last period of my life this month. How should I celebrate? I bought a bag of chips, but somehow, that doesn't quite seem to fit the momentousness of the occasion. Maybe I should've also bought some dip to go with them?

Of course, I'd much rather not have any of my organs go so haywire the best course of action is to remove it... but if one of them had to, I guess it's good that it's the uterus and not, say, the lungs or the heart or something. At least this time around. Anyway, I've never had any kind of surgery before, so this is a bit scary, though I'm sure it'll be fine. Just a bit creepy since I don't know how anesthesia and waking up from it will feel for me.

Besides that, I'm still tired literally all the time and oftentimes exhausted. I'm still trying to get help for that, and it's as much of an uphill battle as it's ever been, which is of course not great. But I'll keep on trying.

None of this is great. Frankly, I'm incredibly done with all of this, but it is what it is and dwelling on it not only doesn't change anything but also makes me feel depressed, so I try not to.

So how about eating some of those chips and maybe some Crusader Kings instead, now.

[yourlocaltreesimp]

Heard you need Sky content? :0

Short, but id been intending to put out some LU content for awhile, so hope u dont mind me dropping this short thingy here?

Sky takes care of you when ur sick! :)

✨️🌠✨️

Wild's Hyrule was something else.

The burning deserts, the excessive lightning that practically chases you, and now, freezing temperatures.

Sky was going to have words with that Champion, as soon as he didn't die from frostbite.

The portal had come unexpectedly, and was arguably one of the worst yet. It'd come just after a huge battle all the heroes and you had waged against a group of black-blooded monsters. Simply popped open under your very feet, and it was all Sky could do to get his whip (already in hand luckily) to wrap around your arm and yank you into him.

You'd both got the shock of your lives plopping right into freezing snow and biting winds. You'd recognized his Hyrule, having seen all the other Links' Hyrules in some form or another, as far as Sky knew.

You'd quickly hauled ass through the knee-deep snow, seeing a shrine stuck deep in a cave not too far off. It was a long trek uphill, and Sky had started to wheeze a little from the high altitude.

You, however, despite being the one to drag him along, are much more worse for wear.

The dark blonde had already noticed you cominf down with something two days ago, and had been subtly getting Wild to cook more soups to help out. Along with gently offering his water canteen a little more often.

Surprisingly, hiking in freezing conditions, through feet of snow, and less oxygen will in fact, make sickness worse.

By the time you two had stumbled into the rocky cave, a full on snowstorm had begun to set in. Flurries rushed outside the cave entrance, and you practically collapsed off against the side wall once making sure Sky had made it in. You were stubborn about things like that he'd noticed.

Shaking off the white powder that'd collected on his shoulders, he immediately sets to starting a fire.

After getting a blaze going, with luckily some supplies Wild must have left behind this shrine, Sky pulls off his sailcloth.

Frowning and frantic with concern, especially as you get more and more tired, Sky quietly calls out, "Hey, don't fall asleep on me just yet, ironic coming from me I know. We should get some food in you..."

He's worriedly mumbling by the end of it pacing around the cave, unpacking both of your belongings. Rolling out your bedrolls and pulling out a few fruits and nuts. He huffs frustrated sighs, the resident cook was the only one with a way to preserve stuff like soup. Maybe he can ask Legend when they find the rest of their group again if there's some kind of enchanted bag that'd let him do that?

Sky mourns being able to provide for you, as you cough pitifully by the fire (he'd carefully helped you waddle over in his sailcloth onto your bedroll).

By the end of the night, the sweet hero had made the best of you two's food supplies (luckily only burning a few nuts), made you down no less than three potions, and taken his shirts out of his own pack to layer on top of you.

(And if he'd purposefully subtly put his bedroll nearly on top of yours, well it was clearly for body heat only.)

You blinked blearily, turning in a burrito of clothing that smelled like petrichor, pumpkin, and something uniquely Sky.

You finally wiggled enough to face him, and complained, "Ugh, you're too nice to me. And I'm still cold, can you believe it?"

The dark blonde lets out a small laugh, eyes dark blue and nose scrunching cutely, "I knew you were sick, and I don't mind. I like watching out for you, you never seem to take yourself as seriously as I do."

He moves a little under his single blanket, and you finally notice why you smell him so much, what with all his entire wardrobe piled on you.

You protest, "Hey! What's with the self-sacrifice shenanigans?? Take some for yourself! I can recover from sickness, but you can't get back up after frostbite Sky!"

He sticks his tongue out playfully, little bastard he is, and then looks a little surprised. He seems to debate something with himself before going even more pink (the cold having already chapped his plump cheeks).

Sky coughs awkwardly, before opening his blanket a little, his arm raised as if to include you in his bedroll.

He seems a little embarassed but his eyes look kinda, glittery? How'd he even do that.

Sky asks you quietly, "Well, you mentioned your still cold, and that I need more blankets so... wanna share?"

Sky is warm. Though that could be the fever talking.

But one things for sure, as he tentatively tucks his head into your neck, and you into his pillow, he's very nice to cuddle. His arm is heavy with muscle, and locks around you comfortingly, like the best weighted blanket you've ever had.

You nearly flinch out of self-conciousness as you feel his soft plump lips barely brush your collarbone.

You decide to desperately beg your mind to try and go to sleep before you have a heart attack.

Whoops.

You'd meant to bury your face into the pillow, to avoid Sky's face being so close, but instead missed because you deliriously closed your eyes.

You'd instead buried your face in between his plush chest. Wow, he really did have some serious muscles under his somewhat loose clothing.

Link chokes a little before slowly wrapping both arms tighter around you.

Good, because you were in too much shock to apologize.

(...fuck.

You really hope Wild isn't the first to find you two, he'd absolutely take a picture as blackmail.)

✨️🌠✨️

Hope you dont mind this!! Sorry its kinda long for an ask, 💀

I couldnt change the ask to not be my main blog, so anon it is lol

Hope you feel better soon!

Peace out,

🌙

:0

DHDHSJHSJSAJJS

YOU.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

What is it gonna take for HYBE to give Jimin the support he deserves? Will it ever even happen? Because I'm tired of feeling so miserable all the time. I even wanna delete all my socials and just find something else in my life to fixate on. I feel terrible for feeling this way because it's like I'm abandoning Jimin (even if I'll still be streaming his music). I'm tired of all of this, it's not good for my mental health at all.

All this corruption and evil simply can't keep winning like this, can it? Are we just supposed to make peace with JK being BTS' "break out star"? Really? I naïvely thought that they'd abandon their sinister plans after seeing how poorly he's been performing in comparison to the crazy amount of push they've been giving him. What the hell is going on at that company?

Anon,

I'm sharing with you this poor quality video of Michael Jackson calling out Tommy Mottola and Sony because it's worth remembering that record labels using and abusing their artists is the rule, not the exception. Not even The King of Pop was immune.

At around 3:20, MJ mentions that he "owes" the label two more songs and then he's a free agent. He says he writes about 120 songs per album, so he'll just pick two songs he's got hanging around and then he's done.

I bring this up because I suspect Jimin might be doing something similar. Having as few solo songs under Big Hit as possible is smart, because he likely won't own the rights to his own music if/when he leaves. The less they own, the better. Writing and recording two albums at once was efficient. Also, by keeping his marketing budget (ads, playlist placement, music videos, etc.) as small as possible, he'll keep more of the album sales and streaming revenue. All those expensive marketing costs are deducted from an artist's earnings, so best to keep them at a minimum if the plan is to make the most money possible. Between the writing credits, lower marketing budget, and the high profile brand ambassador deals Jimin's got, I feel like he's positioning himself to create his own company or label. This is my hope even if I have zero proof.

The way FACE went down really bothered me. I knew the company was behind Jimin's sabotage immediately and it drove me crazy that it took so long for others to catch up. But look at the response to MUSE. Jimin really does have an army of dedicated fans who are calling out the company's (intentional) incompetence 24/7. In reality, it's fun to watch PJMs catch the company and create a stink. It's almost like a game. Don't take it too seriously. Plus, in the long run, who cares about charts? The quality of the music itself is far more important.

Once again I've droned on way too long, but hear me out. I think HYBE/BH is investing so heavily in JK because they have to. BTS isn't going to last forever, and if Jimin leaves, they've lost a huge revenue source. But please trust me when I say they have an uphill battle before them because JK doesn't currently have the artistry or charisma to enthrall the west the way Jimin does. Don't expect them to abandon ship anytime soon, though. And if he does make it big, so be it.

I really wish BTS fans, or at least PJMs, didn't feel so much hate for Min Hee Jin because there's a lot to learn about Bang Si-hyuk and HYBE when you follow the whole ADOR saga. There are some astute NewJeans fans out there who've sized up Bang PD so well and their observations help explain Jimin's treatment by the company. He breaks people down (the idols, staff, and fans) using the "death by a thousand cuts" method. Endless small transgressions and slights, that individually appear like no big deal and are therefore not taken seriously by the media or fans, but collectively are detrimental to careers and one's mental health.

You know what? If Jimin announced he's leaving the music industry after military service, I would say congratulations and thank you for all the amazing music and performances during your BTS and solo career. Have a wonderful life! While I don't think he'll do that, it's worth remembering that none of this is all that serious. Enjoy his music. Take a break from social media, because in the real world nobody cares about this stuff.

Anon, did you make to the end of this long post? Way to use the umlaut on naïvely!

[idontplaytrack]

Diamonds falling down

Amber Appleton x fem! reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, sickfic, age regression, a bit of baby talk(?)

"And I don't know what I'm supposed to do But if she feels bad, then I do, too So I let her be"

One day at a time. You’ve always heard this saying from people around you. If it wasn’t this, it was ‘you’re so strong’, ‘oh, my god. I could never do what you’re doing’ And frankly, you were a little sick of it. You’ve been sick your entire life, always in and out of the hospital— and in your teens, that’s when things lost control. You had a new diagnosis, and new chronic pain among other symptoms. It became draining because you were at an age where you were so aware of what was going on in your body. You were tired of fighting. Everyday felt like an uphill battle. It took you a long time to feel like yourself again following the diagnoses, and when Amber came into your life, you couldn’t help but fall in love with her. Even though it was so scary for you and you didn’t have the guts to even ask her out. She took notice of you, however, and was chatting with you almost all the time. Talking to her was when you’d felt seen and heard, a vast difference from how things have been like in your life since getting sick. When you told Amber about your demon of a chronic illness, you were confused because she didn’t run away. Instead, she asked you more— she wanted to know more. You couldn’t believe it, you couldn’t fathom that someone was actually that interested in you. Someone like you, who was so broken by life’s…challenges.

Amber in a way, gave you a sense of purpose. You looked forward to each new day because you knew she’d be there. You knew that she’d be there for you. Just like she’s been for the past year and a half. Yep, a year and a half— you couldn’t even believe it yourself.

Anyway today was one of those days were the demons have caused you to barely be able to move— let alone get out of bed. After breakfast, you were hit with a wave of searing pain in your lower left side that nearly had you falling to your knees. Clutching on the counter for support, you were crouched over, breathing through it until you didn’t feel the pain anymore. Well, it lingered but mostly died down. So you dragged yourself upstairs, hoping it doesn’t hit you again until you were at least in bed.

Yeah, fuck it. You weren’t going anywhere today. Your parents have already left for work long before you woke up, so…no one was going to stop you.

Cyst rupture - 1, you- 0.

Also…you were going to be running a little late already even if you went. So you weren’t gonna be having a good day anyway, considering how you had also had something else you didn’t tell Amber about.

Your phone started to buzz after awhile, it must be Amber texting you. You didn’t even have the capability to reach over and grab the device since every bit of movement right now worsens the pain. What you did was just to curl up in a fetal position and fall back asleep so you didn’t have to feel it.

Expectedly, you only drifted in and out of sleep which was quite restless. But when you woke up eventually, the pain was gone so you took the chance to go downstairs and grab your bottle of pain meds, water and some snacks. Just getting the essentials you needed to make it through the day. You ate a snack, drank a bit of water then quickly swallowed the pill, wanting it to take effect ASAP. You didn’t even know what time it was until you heard noise coming from the foyer, followed by rushed steps up the stairs. Amber literally burst into your room as you locked eyes with her. Her gaze softened immediately as she sat down next to you and leaned down to kiss you on the side of your head.

————

Living in Portland, the weather obviously got cold this time of year. So you were already feeling a flare up creeping up on you for the last few days, this pain from ovarian cyst rupture only sent you over the edge. “Sorry.” You muttered, “I couldn’t.”

“That’s okay. I get it. We’ve talked about this.” Amber assured, stroking your cheek before she pulled your blanket up higher. “Have you had anything to eat yet?”

“No. Just — the snacks.” You revealed.

“Where hurts, baby?” She asks quietly.

You couldn’t even answer her, which she found very strange. You would always tell her, that was the agreement. “Baby, talk to me.”

That started a complete meltdown, you were just sobbing your eyes out, shocking her to the core. It was so abrupt. She thought it must be bad, really bad. Amber’s never seen you like that before. But it seems to her that the nickname set you off.

“y/n,” Amber says, her palm resting on your abdomen to rub it in an attempt to calm you down. You flinched and cried out in pain. Squinting her eyes, she noticed something— underneath the thin fabric of your t-shirt, she felt a different…texture. Like a bandaid? She carefully lifted the fabric of your shirt to check, and her eyes nearly fell out of her head. It was surgical dressing. Which looked like it was supposed to be changed already. Amber was fuming. Why were you left home alone in this state? She gets up to step out into the hallway to make a call but you pulled her hand, refusing to let her leave. “Okay. Okay, baby. I’m right here.” She soothed.

Amber held her phone to her ear with one hand, the other was pulling your shirt back down while her eyes watched you closely.

“Iris.”

“Yes? Amber?”

“When did y/n go for the surgery?”

“Surgery? It’s just a procedure.”

“Iris, when?” Amber chewed on her lower lip, exhaling harshly.

“Two days ago.” Your mother answered, irritated.

“Why is she home alone so soon post-op?”

“She’s fine, she’s a big girl.” Iris scoffed, “She can take care of herself.”

Amber hung up when she heard that, putting her phone aside. “I need to get you a new dressing, babe.”

You looked clueless.

She couldn’t carry you, but she knew you needed that dressing changed— stat. So she got up to look for a new one and found a bag of them, along with medications and discharge instructions sitting on the kitchen counter. What did you do in the minute that she was away? Cry. You were still crying, terribly upset and uncomfortable, without better ways to express yourself now that you’ve…slipped. Grabbing the box of tissues from your vanity and pack of anti-bacterial wipes sitting on your desk along the way, she sat down next to you. You looked at her with teary eyes, breathing quicker than she liked you to be right now. Setting the items down, she held onto your hand. “You’re okay, I got you, baby.”

“Hurts.” You mumbled.

“I know, munchkin, I’m sorry.”

You clearly had no clue that you were one day post-op right now given your current state. Amber figured it out while walking downstairs to gather the supplies— she’s just never dealt with you when you were having a meltdown like this one. But thankfully, you seemed to have calmed yourself down significantly. “Stay still for me, hm?” She lets go of your hand and handed you a stuffed animal to hold onto in the meantime. “I need to change this bandaid for you, okay?”

You sniffled, nodding your head as you swallowed thickly as you hugged the stuffed rabbit. Amber leaned closer to get a better look of the dressing and determine the best way to remove it. She manages to get a corner of it off, but not without you yelping and flinching. She seethed, deciding to make use of a wet wipe to loosen up the adhesive and make sure there was lesser irritation. Of course, she was careful not to get the incision itself wet. It wasn’t her first time caring for you post-op, or well, post-procedure in your mother’s words. Either way, she successfully removes the used dressing and promptly cleaned around the area before sticking on a new one.

“All done.” Amber smiled at you before getting up again to get rid of the dressing’s wrapper.

Amber manages to get you to lie down more comfortably, then snuggles with you. You didn’t say anything, but she knew it always helps you feel better. “I feel funny.” You looked up at her. She feels your forehead with the back of her hand— you weren’t having a fever anymore. Which you did have before they decided to release you from the hospital. “Your tummy?”

You nodded, clinging onto her. “Do you want to go to the bathroom? I’ll help you.” You don’t resist, so she got you out of bed and helped you to the bathroom before you threw up. She wasn’t going to let you kneel knowing how difficult it would be, so she actually sat down on the edge of the tub so you could sit on her lap while you were bent over the toilet, fighting a gag. The procedure caused you a great deal of bloating, and the anesthesia causes you to be nauseous, so putting both together, this was expected. It sucked, but it was expected. Even after a bit of time’s passed already. Eventually, what little you managed to eat was regurgitated, sending you to tears. Broke Amber’s heart that you needed to feel like that, but it was a whole process. Inevitable process. She rubs your back, whispering words of assurances to you, “You’re alright, angel. I promise. Okay? Feel better?”

“Yes.” You murmured, and very slowly, she guided you back into your room, and had you sit down. But before she could say anything else, you were already crawling under the covers. With the bag of medications now being moved to your nightstand, she picks up the sheet containing discharge instructions and gave it a read.

“Mommy, hugs.” You sulked, Amber looks up from the paper and at you.

“Alright, I’m here, angel.” You moved up so she was right next to you, “C’mere.” She wrapped her arm around you for a bit but ultimately shifted you so that you were snuggled up against her. Your pain meds have started to kick in, but you were still regressed though you were no longer in a bad mood. Amber continually rubbed your lower back while she kept her focus on the paper she was trying to finish reading. By the time Amber was done, you’d dozed off, snuggled against her side and cuddling the same stuffed rabbit. She watches you sleep for awhile, then tucked you in properly. Following that, Amber goes around your room to tidy it up. It wasn’t too bad, but Amber believes that a cluttered space makes one feel worse. She also made sure she cleared out your trashcan and lined it with a new plastic bag just in case you needed it later and couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time. Very quietly, Amber descended the stairs and checked the pantry.

There was bread, so she could make you some toast. But then she saw applesauce, another good option since your stomach was likely still going to be upset for awhile. Now that you were asleep, she didn’t have anything to do. So she walked around your house for a bit before sitting with you again in your bed. But she lays down this time, instinctively stroking your arm or patting your back while you slept— arguably the most peaceful you’ve been all day. She’d brought your homework with her but now obviously wasn’t the time to have you work on that. Well, she also succumbed to sleep after some time and only woke up when she felt you stirring in your sleep. A quiet whine falls from your mouth. Were you in pain again? She hoped not.

“Hey.” She hums, “Baby, you’re okay. I’m right here. I’m right here, baby.”

“I’m hungy.” You mumbled.

“I’ll go make you some food? You want something?”

“I don’t know what I want.” You pouted, shifting uneasily. Every movement caused you an ache.

“How about applesauce?” She suggests.

“Okay.” You gulped, “Yeah.”

You got out of bed, and she got flustered. Immediately, she held onto you. “Baby, be careful.”

“I need to go potty.” You took a deep breath and immediately winced from the uncomfortable feeling.

“Sure, come on, I got you.” Amber held onto your arm as you walked. The bathroom door was left open, somehow Amber was too worried to leave. And she was right not to.

“Ah!” You seethed, hands balled into fists which caused her head to snap towards your direction.

She squints, “What’s wrong, baby?”

It probably hurt when you went, this was stated in the sheet as one of the possible ‘after effects’ of the catheter they had to have you use during the procedure and some hours after.

“Breathe, y/n. It’s alright, it’ll go away. Just breathe.” She cajoled.

Food aside, she also ensured you drank enough fluids to prevent other issues from surfacing. The sun was beginning to set at this point, casting a goldenish hue across the interior of the house. That brightened your mood a little to see. You were now in the living area, just sitting on the couch and watching the view. You loved the atmosphere now— it felt really calming. Amber was just walking back to you from the kitchen after grabbing two cups of applesauce and a coconut yogurt pouch. “You okay, honey?”

You nod, holding out your arms and wanting to cling onto her again. She lets you— obviously.

“You wanna do it yourself?” She opened up the cup for you and held out a spoon for you.

You shook your head without a word, then just leaned onto her, your face smushed against her arm. She laughed, smooching the top of your head. “Okay, here we are. Ah, open up.” She nudged, the spoon right by your lips. You listened and just ate like she told you to, the hunger was getting to you so you fought through the stomach discomfort. “Good girl.” She smiled, “Here comes another.”

“Will you stay with me? Sleepover?” You asked, swallowing the mouthful of applesauce while looking at her with big doe eyes. It wasn’t intentional, by any means. You were just like that when you were regressed.

“Of course I will, munchkin. I will sleep over.” Amber looked at you in pure adoration. Her heart melts every time you looked at her like that. The food she got for you? You ate it all and asked for more after. So, Amber was relieved that your appetite was coming back. “What do you want, baby?”

“A sandwich.” You decided.

“You wanna make one with me?” She suggested.

You nodded eagerly. “Alrighty, up we go. C’mon, let’s go to the kitchen.” She says with a bit of a laugh.

“What kind of sandwich do you want, angel?”

“Uh…” You pursed your lips together in thought. What was that called again?

You turned around and opened the fridge, pulling out turkey ham slices and cheese. “That’s what you want?” She asked softly.

“Mhm.” You confirmed.

“Good choice.” Amber grins, getting right to work making a sandwich for you, and then another for herself since it was time for dinner anyway.

You sat next to her at the counter to eat, on her lap, actually. “Is that good?” She asks, biting into the sandwich.

“Yeah.” You nod, mouth full and grinning. She brushed the hair out of your face.

She couldn’t help it but chuckle, “I’m glad. Wanna take a quick shower after then I can do your hair the way you like it?”

“Yes, please.” You leaned your head on her briefly.

“Anything for you, munchkin.”

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