#it's an eat or be eaten out world
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A trend in Astarion fics that I find bizarre is the idea that he's never been treated gently during sex. This is difficult to believe for one simple reason: some of Astarion's victims were virgins.
Astarion: You were handsome. Shy. You'd never been kissed. Sebastian: You taught me how. And then you destroyed me.
I get the desire to make his current partner special by having their sex be good and wholesome in comparison to his other trysts, but this is a flawed sentiment. The cutscene of that first night together is incredibly tender from the kiss to laying on the grass - the only outlier being if you offer your neck - and if you sleep with Astarion but keep it at that night, Astarion himself says he will never forget you. Not because the PC was uniquely gentle with him in bed, but because they were the first person he ever slept with of his own free will. It's his choice that makes that night special to him moreso than anything the PC may or may not have done during that time.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion ancunin#astarion#the only exception i have to this is rimming. im down so bad for him being overwhelmed from being eaten out its not even funny#also the blood drinking since that is canonically new. makes me wonder how not being hungry would specifically affect him during sexy times#it's an eat or be eaten out world#...anyway#other factors can and probably do make their adult fun times special for him. particularly the intricacies of personal dynamics#a night w a pc that listens to him. lets him drink often. and saves the tiefs is def more special than one w a pc who does none of those#i really enjoy the tension between his hating heroic types and them being the most likely to provide the things he needs to survive#oh and smth thats somewhat related to this#i don't think astarion ever let his conquests see his back#in the clearing he's always facing his partner and even the camera doesnt show his back until the dramatic reveal#given that his victims were all one night stands it'd be p easy to convince each of them to do it face to face#leaves plenty of positions and ftf is oft more romantic which could def be an interesting conflict for him and his lover#so many common gestures of affection have been ruined for him. theyre just motions at best now#that makes it easier for their faces to be ingrained in his head so. bonus trauma lol
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Keep calm, and drink soda
[CW for blood and gore and vomit] takes place a day or two after emizel was sired. just two boys adjusting to a shift in their daily norms. would YOU drink your homies blood? still not used to writing fanfic so any and all advice IS appreciated. i hope u enjoy.
There were very few things that Soda enjoyed more than well, drinking soda. It was a hobby, an interest, a comfort. And by extension there were very few errands that Soda would look forward to more than the occasional soda run.
The gas station closest to the Demons hideout had stopped selling Faygo entirely about a month or two ago, and it was near impossible to find it anywhere else. The closest place was now this janky little Shell gas station, lovingly titled the Shady Shell, that thankfully sold more flavors than any of the other ones ever did.
It made the hour and a half walk here entirely worth it. Even if this side of town made his skin crawl. Normally he would ask someone to accompany him on this daring little quest, but everyone at the hide out tonight just seemed too tired, too preoccupied, too uninterested.
He knew not everyone really got the soda thing, but they were accepting of it for the most part. Soda is something that, clearly, Soda really loves, but he knew not everyone else was into it.
Which was fine, of course. They didn't need to get it. But, still, sometimes Soda found himself wondering how much of it was a bit, and how much was him.
Emizel gets it perfectly though. He would've been the first person Soda would ask to go on this soda run with him, but, well. He's been preoccupied too, with the whole vampire thing.
It's been a bit more than a day since Soda had last seen his close comrade. For a friend that he saw just about everyday, going without him this long left him feeling a little emptier.
That was fine, though. Emizel had shit he was working out, he had things he needed to do. It's not like he could go out in the day anymore, so of course Soda wouldn't be seeing him at all the usual times.
It was a lot of weird and heavy magical stuff, it made Soda think about those superhero shows. Where the hero needs to keep his identity hidden from everyone. Family especially. He knows how much of a piece of shit Emizels dad is, so he hoped that Emizels home life wasn't stirred up all stupid-like over this.
He hasn't told anyone else, about what happened that night. For the last 2 days, Soda would spend time with close friends and not let them know a thing about what happened to Emizel so, so recently. Why he's so suddenly absent, so distant, so.. off…
'Maybe his dad's just giving him a hard time', he would say, hoping to smother their questions. The less questions they ask, the better. At least until this vampire stuff gets figured out a bit more. Should Emizel wear a disguise when he goes out at night now? Just like a superhero? What kind of hero outfit would Emizel have anyways? Soda figured it would be something really cool.
If anyone could figure out a way to balance all this vampire stuff, and all the leaderly responsibilities that come with being the biggest dog in the Demons, it was Emizel for sure. That guy is so seriously cool.
He was sure this rough patch would even out, and they would weather the next rough patch together no problem. There was really nothing to worry about! All Soda has to do is stay positive, and well, drink soda.
As Soda walks quietly down the crumbling sidewalks of this dreary hive of strip malls and shops, he goes to pull his backpack around to his chest, fumbling with the zipper in the dark. Which was a little annoying, considering the tab of his zipper had fallen off forever ago. He really needed to get around to fixing this damn thing. Maybe another ziptie and a soda tab will do the trick.
Humid air hangs heavy in the night, the sidewalks still somewhat warm after a hotter day. The diesel-soaked air provided enough warmth on its own that Soda had considered taking his jacket off a few times, only for the occasional, annoyingly sharp and chilly breeze to brush by, reminding him to keep the thing on.
Tripping only once and only slightly on an uneven sidewalk, Soda manages to pull a bottle of Faygo from his backpack, a smile glowing on his face. Another short fight with the zipper seals up the bag, and he slings it over his shoulder again.
His flavor of choice tonight was actually the Red Pop, the tried and true, the absolute classic, one of the best Faygo flavors for sure.
But, this kind wasn't actually his favorite. Normally he would stock up on the cotton candy ones, but something about the last few days had him craving the red stuff.
Securing his backpack all the way, he goes to crack open the bottle. Just the clack and the hisssss of the fizzy drink were enough to lift his mood.
Not that his mood needed lifting or anything. Of course. Sure he missed his friend and sure he found himself wondering what he’s doing and where he is and if he's okay. Maybe sometimes he found himself wishing they talked about funeral plans more.
Emizel talked up all sorts of crazy funeral ideas for himself, usually involving the use of his dead body as an inconvenience for others. Outlandish and hilarious ideas, like filling it with explosives and tossing it into a busy road. But what would he want seriously? What would Soda ever do if he just stopped showing up one day?
He had to swallow down all these unnecessary anxieties, so he took a swig of his soda. Sweet, bubbly, comforting. He felt better already! Just stay positive, and drink soda..
It was a lovely night out, and he didn't come all this way planning on letting it go to waste. There was a place he was heading towards, a particular alleyway in this particular place that led off to a particularly tall concrete ledge.
It was a run-down little space, littered with trash and shitty trees and those bushes with just too many goddamn ants in them. But the view was fairly nice, overlooking a massive deformed intersection. A particularly stupid one, at that; about 3 times a week you could witness a gnarly crash at this spot. Soda always heard people saying that LA folks can't drive, but he was just starting to figure that maybe no one can drive.
That was the place he really wanted to go to enjoy this soda, and he wasn't too far off from it. Just a few more blocks, and he would be there.
Oh wait, didn't he still have a bag of chips in this backpack somewhere? Hell yeah, he couldn't wait to sit down and relax with a good soda, a good snack, and a good view of the night.
Living as a Demon had its fair share of stresses. He felt lucky to have this life, but he knew well that it could be better. That not everyone has to worry about survival the way they do. That not everyone gets injured on the regular and not everyone has to worry about being sick and never getting better.
Living is hard. But it's finding the small moments of joy that make it all worth it. Dying would be scarier anyway. He didn't want to die, and he felt glad to feel so confident in that nowadays.
The sudden THUNK of something slamming into the ground just a block away from him, jolts him out of his thoughts, all his gears screeching to a halt as he freezes in place. What the fuck was that?
It looked like a person, laying flat on the ground with only their head and shoulders peeking out of the alleyway ahead. Fuck. He hated this side of town..
Anxiety churns in his stomach as he debates just turning around, but the way the victim reaches an arm out, attempting to crawl away; it made his heart ache aswell. he's no goddamn fighter, but he couldn't just leave someone like th-
The body is suddenly yanked back into the alley, snatched at a startling speed. It didn't feel exactly real, how could something vanish so fast? It reminded Soda of something from a horror movie, or whatever. What the fuck was that??
His foot takes a step forward, before the rest of his body notices its rebellion and locks down again. Was he seriously going to investigate that? He could just walk away and take another alley. But that was the one he was supposed to turn down! All the other alleys are either walled off or gated off and he wasn't about to go climbing over a damn wire gate. His soda would get too shaken up! Fuck!
Another foot goes in for another step forward. He's gotta get the fuck out of here. He could hear more commotion in the alleyway, a scuffle, a skirmish. He could hear someone cursing through a choked breath. A loud and nauseating crack echoes out from the alley, and yet, Soda takes another step forward.
This was stupid, he shouldn't be getting tangled up in someone else's business. What if something happened to all this soda?
Thankfully, it was that thought that actually got him to pause, and take in a deep breath. It wasn't worth it, maybe he should head straight home.
Atleast, that was the thought his heart and mind were about to agree on, until a particularly familiar grroowwwwlll bleeds out from the alley.
Emizel?
All reason immediately evaporates as Soda makes that connection in his head, stepping right up to the corner of the brick walls, and peering around to investigate.
There was a body on the floor, face down in a puddle of red, head split open in a way that reminded Soda of a smashed watermelon.
But standing over that body, was the familiar, blackened coat, and short blonde hair, of Sodas closest comrade, Emizel.
Despite the carnage on the floor, Soda couldn't help the smile that lights up his face. That was Emizel! That was his boy!
But before he could get over just how happy he felt to see his best friend, something else caught his eye. Movement, behind the dumpster closest to the vampire boy. A person, rising out from the shadows with a glinting baseball bat clutched fiercely in their hands.
"Oh fuck, look out!" Soda speaks up, and Emizels gaze immediately clicks over to him, silencing Soda with just that startlingly red stare.
He had forgotten just how uneasy those red eyes made him..
The attacker, silent and professional, rushes up behind Emizel and CRACKS the metal bat downwards onto his blonde head, the sound ringing out like a gun shot in that dark little alleyway.
Soda cringes from just the sound of the impact, but was amazed to find that the bat had warped under the force of it!
The attacker hardly had a chance to process his mangled weapon before Emizel whips around to retaliate.
It looked like he had just swung his hand at his opponent, so the way a shower of red spills outward from the slash, catches Soda completely off guard. The monster boy had cleaved an excruciatingly massive gash up from the attackers right hip, to his left shoulder, the slice spewing with scarlet.
It wasn't until Emizel had pulled back his arm, that Soda could process the way it had darkened with more than just blood, distorted into an odd, spear-like shape.
The victim hardly had a chance to yelp before that blade swoops up into his chest at the speed of a snapping bear trap, plunging through meat and bone with disturbing ease, and forcing blood and viscera to erupt outwards. The red patters down onto the concrete behind, the sound similar to rain...
With another low, inhuman snarl, Emizel brings the twitching, dying body closer, until that signature squish of teeth sinking into fresh meat bleeds outward into the space.
What a disgusting sound, Sodas first instinct was to simply avert his eyes, but as the sound persists, he resolves that he has to do something.
He finally steps out into the alley, and speaks.
"Hey ma-"
He could hardly get two words out before Emizel suddenly rips its teeth away from its victims throat, tearing out a hefty chunk of jellied meat, and slamming the remaining fodder onto the concrete floor.
It immediately whips around to stare down Soda, red eyes glowing with reflected light, and with hardly a chance to process the moment-
-It's immediately right infront of Soda.
A gasp lurches from Soda's lungs as he almost stumbles back in shock. How was Emizel so fucking fast?
Other than that single step back, Soda was frozen in shock, his tongue buzzing with the physical pain of such a startling jolt. 'White boy jumpscare' is something that came to mind, but while usually such a thought would evoke some sort of laugh from Soda, this time it offered no such comfort. Okay maybe it did a little.
Emizels snarling face was only inches away from Sodas. Its eyes were wild and unnatural, teeth menacingly sharp and reddened with so much fucking blood. It was everywhere, coating most of his face, smothering his shirt and his coat, and absolutely choking the air with its thick, metallic stench.
Soda would gag if he felt he was safe to even move. He felt like he was locking eyes with that of a creature, something he would only ever see in his nightmares or in scary movies. But it was real. Those monsters are real. And his best friend is one of those monsters. His bestest friend in the world...
His mind was skewered on that unnatural glare, completely frozen with anxiety. Stalling too hard to come to a proper conclusion, Soda instead falls back onto what Soda does best.
"H-hey man... You want some soda?"
He very gently presses the opened bottle of Faygo into Emizels chest.
The two boys stand there for a moment, locked in a tense, silent pause, before the monster boy finally peels its gaze down to the bottle.
It's quiet, for a few seconds, the gears turning in its head. Until the monster blinks, and its eyes clear, and Emizel processes the sight of the bottle.
"Oh, fuck yeah dude, is that the Candy Apple Faygo? Man, that stuffs my favorite!" Emizel smiles as he goes to accept the bottle, and immediately takes a massive swig.
Soda tries to disregard the way his hands were still shaking. "Uh, n-nah man, its just Red Po-"
The words are bit off as Emizel suddenly retches, a heavy flood of red blood and red Faygo spewing out onto Soda, as the vampire boys body entirely rejects the fizzy drink.
The shock of getting fucking projectile vomited on had snapped Soda out of whatever daze he was just in, and it seemed to snap Emizel out of it too. Soda backs up with a groan, looking down at all the blood and bile and pop on his shirt and coat.
"Ohhh fuck dude, what the hell??" He cringes, not even wanting to try smearing any of it off with his hand.
Emizel was coughing, still holding out the Faygo bottle, but hunched over as his body dared to convulse again.
"Ohhhhhh fuck, ohhooohhh fuuuuucckkk" he grumbles towards the floor "Fuuuck I’m sorry dude, I don't know what fuckin- oohhhgg shit,” He coughs and groans, offering the bottle back to Soda.
Soda was still staring at his messied coat with a displeased grimace, but looking up to meet Emizels eyes...
There was a guilt on Emizels face that Soda didn't see too often, and it helped wash away that irritation he felt. This sucked, but Emizel was probably going through a lot more.
“It’s, uhm.. don't, don't worry about it, man..” Soda decides to reassure him, offering a sympathetic smile, and a hand on Emizels shoulder, as his comrade spits out the remaining blood and bile.
"Fuckin hell… I’m uh, I'm sorry about your shirt, man."
"What? Nahh it's okay man, don’t worry about it." Soda shrugs, taking the Faygo bottle back. "I mean, are you okay man? That uh.. looked like a pretty crazy fight."
Emizel was rubbing his eyes, smearing more blood across his face as he seems to be collecting himself. he spares a glance back at the carnage behind him.
"Ah.. yeah.. I thought I uh.. I thought I saw that one fucker from uh. That one night. Yknow, the one that uh.." He snaps his fingers, as if trying to summon back the memory. "Vampire bitch... Anyway after that I just kind of, uh.."
He seems to space out again as he looks around. It was as if he was just woken up from a deep sleep, like he was certain he had just known what he was doing, but found the dream escaping him. "I guess I just.. went crazy on these guys. I dunno, they're Fangs anyways." he finally shrugs it all off, but Soda still felt unsatisfied by the answer.
"Oh.. huh…” is the only response he manages to scrounge together. Sure they were Fangs, but did they really deserve.. all that? It just seemed a bit brutal, even by Emizels standards.
He found his eyes wandering over to the split-open head. It was mostly red and bloody, but even in the dark, he could still make out some of the finer details of the gray jelly seeping from the gash. A human brain. He wondered if his own brain looked the same on the inside..
“So what are you doing out here, man?” Emizels question helps Soda pull his eyes away from the gore, instead looking over to his bloodied comrade.
Emizel looked messy and even exhausted, but his drowsy gaze was focused on Soda with a worried expression.
“Oh, uh, yknow, just a soda run. Decided I would stock up on some Faygo from the Shady Shell.” Soda shrugs, his eyes flickering down to the opened Faygo in his hand. The top was covered in regurgitated blood. unnaturally blackened blood…
“Are you.. okay, by the way? Other than the whole..” Soda gestures vaguely at the gruesome crime scene. “Are you hurt?”
The question has Emizel pausing to consider. He straightens his back and stretches his arms, as if trying to detect any pain from any possible injury. Nothing seemed to be bothering him though, and after a second, he decides to shrug.
“Nah, I'm all good.”
“Oh.. That's good, I uh…” Soda found himself looking over Emizel aswell, searching for any wounds the monster boy might be simply disregarding, as he often does.
There was a fairly gnarly gash on his shin..
“Hey uh, I was actually gonna go hang out by the ledge down that way. Yknow, the one with the funny intersection.” Soda says, gesturing off towards where he intended to go. “Wanna come with?”
Emizel looks back that way, before turning back to Soda with a big smile on his face.
“Oh hell yeah I do! I love the funny intersection!” he starts to walk down the alley, about to step over the body of the broken skull, when Soda speaks up.
“Uh, hey, shouldn't we uh.. Do something about the.. uh..” He waves a hand over towards the bodies, trying not to look directly at them.
Emizel spares the corpses an inconvenienced glance, and a sigh, but ultimately shrugs them off. “Ehhh I'll just dump 'em in a dumpster again.. That's what I've been doing anyway.”
“And you're not worried about, like, anyone finding them?”
Soda anxiously watches on as Emizel paces around the body with the torn-out throat, licking the blood from his own mouth. Was his tongue always that long and pointed? That's neat, and normally Soda would point it out, but he was a bit.. preoccupied right now
“Nahh not really. I haven't had anyone bother me at least.. Anyone been bothering you?” Emizels eyes finally flick back over to Soda.
“Nah, I'd say things are actually more lax than usual. Anything that would end up being trouble’s been pretty much crushe- er, killed- destr- stamped out, by uh, by you.” Sods was cringing with every attempt to find a word that didn’t make his stomach turn, but Emizel didn’t seem to notice or mind.
Emizels eyes were currently a bit more focused on the body laying before him. He had that weird look on his face again…
“Uhh, yeah, yeah that's good that uh, no troubles coming back to you guys…”
There’s a moment of quiet between the two as Emizel stares at this corpse, and Soda was about to open his mouth to fill the silence, but Emizel speaks up instead.
“Hey uh, why don’t you go ahead of me? I’ll uh, I'll meet you at the place.” He suggests, pointing vaguely off down the alley, but not removing his eyes from the kill.
Soda certainly hesitates, his eyes narrowing before he even forms a thought. He opens his mouth to object, but then his eyes flicker back towards the body.
“Are you gonna eat this one too?”
The question leaves Sodas mouth as soon as it comes to mind.
Emizel pauses, and considers, before giving a shrug. “I don't see why not. Perfectly good blood.” He reaches down to grab his kill by the shirt, the one with the split open head. As the corpse rises from the concrete, gray matter drips and sloughs from the crack in its skull. Once again, Soda felt the need to look away, and yet his stupid eyes remained fixated on the horrendous sight. Emizel looks over the spilling brain of his meal, licking his lips curiously. “Dude, what do you think would happen if I ate his brain?” Emizel asks, looking back over to Soda with a wild, bloodied smile. Something about that look made Soda shiver, but.. Not really in a bad way… “Uh, I.. Dunno…. Eating a persons brain is how you get like, mad cow disease right? But you might also be immune to disease.. Are you immune to disease?” “Uhhh, I don't know yet actually. I'm still figuring out how much of this is like video games,” Emizel says, rubbing the back of his head as he idly sways the body of his kill around, watching the blood and gore drip and drop from its broken head. “Eh, I'll chance it later.” Without another word or thought, Emizel goes to sink his teeth into the shoulder of his kill, a pleased growl radiating from him as the blood gushes around the bite. More fresh blood upon less fresh blood upon old blood upon older blood. Just so much fucking blood. Soda thought he was used to seeing blood, but this… this was just egregious. Was he really starting to get used to this? It’s just blood after all, and it’s not from his comrades, so it's… fine… He finally manages to pull his eyes away from the gruesome sight of Emizel feeding, but his eyes instead wander down to the blood on his own shirt. Emizels blood was strange, darker than usual, and carrying a different scent. Something about the smell of his blood was more savory, more appealing than the standard metallic miasm. His shirt was smothered in it, his jacket was coated in it, and his opened bottle of Faygo was also splattered with the deep red ichor. Ink swirls within the bottle of red fizzy, spreading out into all sorts of odd patterns. It was a lot of blood. He was certain a lot of it came from however many people Emizels been feeding on. With how much hes been terrorizing the Fangs in just the last few days, and with how nonchalantly he feasts on his kills, who knows how much blood hes actually ingested… Soda swirls the bottle, watching the blood inside thin out into strands, dancing within the bubbly soda as they gradually dissipate, fully assimilating into the drink. A bad idea chews at the back of his head… The sound of ripping flesh once again knocks at Sodas head. He doesn’t look up this time, but he knew Emizel was just playing with his food again.. Did blood taste good to a vampire? Did some blood taste better than others? What did Sodas blood taste like? What did Emizels blood taste like? There's a visceral snap of something among the chewing and ripping, very clearly a bone or a joint snapping out of place. It made Soda shiver a little. When did his heart start pounding? There's an animal standing only 8 feet away from him, feeding on its kill. That animal is a person, and so is its kill. He wanted to know what vampire blood tasted like, but he already knew what human blood tasted like. It hung so densely in the air, he could feel it forming a vile film over his tongue. The blood of a person just like him. Eaten by an animal that eats people. All this stress was no good. This bile rising to his throat was no good. This creeping anxiety was no good. He's friends with an animal that eats people. Would it eat him? This weird feeling was no good. Maybe it will never eat him. But it needs to eat people. This worry was no good. He needed to wash this awful taste from his mouth, replace it with something sweeter. He needed to keep his head clear enough to be there for Emizel when he needed to be. He needed to hold a light to these shadows. And he needed to stay positive, and drink soda. He takes a swig of the open Faygo bottle.
#NO MAIN TAGS WE DIE LIKE ROADKILL#WOW ISNT IT WEIRD THAT YOUR BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOOOLE WORLD EATS PEOPLE NOW#ISNT IT WEIRD THAT YOU KIND OF WISH YOU WOULD BE EATEN. EXCEPT NOT RLY BC U WOULD DIE. MAYBE HE COULD HAVE A NIBBLE#i might come back to ramble in the tags more later. STAY TUNED!!!#OKAY IM BACK TO RAMBLE. FIZZFAGS SEAL O APPROVAL IN THE TAGS U MEAN THE WWWOORRLLD TO MEEEE#THIS IS ALL YOUR FFAAAUULTT UR THE ONLY REASON THESE LOSERS ARE ROTATING IN MY BRAIN SO SO FAST#I DO INTEND TO WRITE MORE!! AND I DO INTEND TO LET IT GET WEIRDER#Iwanna make a lil chapter two w them hanging out at the funny intersection while soda maybe tries to patch emizel up.#wouldnt it be fucked up if u saw ur best friend get bled out n then sired right infront of u#and wouldnt it be fucked up if ina vampiric daze he almost sinks his crazy shark teeth into your throat#and wouldnt it be fucked up if you kinda wish he did. like not in a weird way or anything its not weird its not weird at all#RAAHH IM SO HAPPY THAT PPL LIKE MY WRITING STYLE N MY CHARACTERIZATIONS ASWELL IT MEANS SO MUCH TO MMEEEE#NICE WORDS GIVE ME SO MMUCH POOWWEERRRRR RAAGHGHHH!!!thank you guys for being so niceys to me#ive also been thinkin abt writing Post Suckening fics. EXCITED FOR SEASON TWO. in the meantime what if theo had to put up w shenanigens#one shenanigen for example being emizel going feral and attacking a comrade.#then theo needs to stake him n pull him aside n set him straight or something. set him gay. whatever.#ive also had an idea in my head. BC GABRIEL IS TOTALLY INSIDE OF EMIZELS BRAIN NOW#could u imagine doing acid or shrooms w ur homies n then suddenly ur nemesis is showing up in ur fractal hallucinations#anyway i think thats all da ramble i got in me. thanku for enjoying my writing thank yooouuu
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You know what? I really wanna eat a sandwich with Vessel. We don't even have to talk or anything like.
I just want to sit at a table across him, get a few Capri Suns, a bag of crisps torn open between us, a nice sandwich each, and just eat in silence.
🧃😐🥪 🍟 🧃😐🥪 <- like this
#i want it to be almost uncomfortable but never reaching that point#i want us both to just munch on bread like 😐🥪 😐🥪#and we're both sharing the same crisps. and maybe we reach out for the same potato but there's an awkward “you go” pause#our fingers barely touch. it's not romantic or anything it's just 😐😬#and maybe I'll accidentally choke on a piece of chicken and he pauses. half-eaten sandwich in hand. completely silent#watching me cough and waiting to see if i need help or not. but then i sip on my capri sun and i'm 😐👍 and he's 😐👍#and we both continue to eat in silence#he's fully masked of course#maybe he'll occasionally cough very lightly to clear his throat. or do a “mhm” sound to indicate the food is good#and that's it. that's all i want#is that too much to ask? i don't think so#(listen i love sandwiches okay? they're one of my favourite things in the whole world i could live off sandwiches if i could)#sleep token
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// ocs as patron saints. [x]
tagged by; @katsigian, @deadrlngers and @devilbrakers, thank you so much!!
tagging; @mojaves, @dickytwister, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf and YOU!
– PATRON SAINT OF RELICS.
patron saint of remembering. patron saint of holding something close. patron saint of holding on for too long. for a saint, a relic is often a part of the body, kept for some physical memento of their holiness. they are all in your hands, now: does it feel like remembrance? does it feel sanctified? are the dust and blood as precious as they're supposed to be?
hindsight carries the gun of his deceased father, the last memory he holds of the past and of what used to be his family; he is alone, a vessel for all that used to be, carrying the burden of remembrance like a chain around his neck. he has made himself easily digestible, to fit in, to not stand out; yet the past clings to him tighter than the present and forces him on his knees, forced to worship a twisted and faux idyllic retelling of a place he can no longer get back to.
– PATRON SAINT OF HEARTBREAK.
not of comfort. not of condolences. there is a heart and there is a fissure, a fracture, something that starts to splinter and break open. you're the patron saint of the way a heart is rent open. the way it tears itself apart. patron saint of the rift. patron saint of the gash. when they say to "open your heart" to somebody, you are the patron saint of bleeding out.
erytheia is a grave domain cleric, and has witnessed more burials in her lifetime than any being ever should. she has seen the countless ways in which the best of her abilities still did not suffice, her healing more than often merely prolonging a life rather than saving it; and she carries the consequences of it wherever she goes, the faces of those who were left behind, the broken hearts and wails of sorrow like a symphony in the dead of night, chasing after the trail of blood left by her bleeding heart.
– PATRON SAINT OF BLOOD.
patron saint of the life that flows through our bodies. patron saint of violence. patron saint of love. something that does not watch over but exists within: not for protection but for vitality. there is no passion without a beating heart at its core. when that heart breaks open, someone has to be responsible for what it bleeds.
juniper is full of life, full of passion. her heart hungers and beats viciously within her ribcage, threatening to burst out; all of which shows in her unexpected ferocity in battle, as well as in the way her hands hold the waist of her lover, whoever is within her reach when her desire threatens to spill over. a mouth that kisses as much as it bites, and teeth that graze vulnerable skin and dig into tender flesh; she is a predator, and gods save whoever becomes her next prey.
#tag games#ask:erytheia#ask:hindsight#ask:juniper#sorry for being insane with the commentary but i'm not normal about these guys okay#they're all part of my homebrew world btw :]#but yeah basically hindsight is being eaten alive by the past and every bad thing that happened to him that he can't even see#that the present is now also swalling him whole because of how far he's gone to mask all the things he believes make him stand out#and make him unloveable. he basically turned himself into that smooth spongebag freak and then wonders why he barely feels alive#meanwhile erytheia is so happy and cheery all the time and she deals relatively well with death and losing people#but she is absolutely HAUNTED by the people who were left behind. the loved ones of the people she couldn't save#being haunted by the living as a cleric is something that can be so (eats my fist#and then you have juniper who is overflowing with this energy that she needs to get out of herself somehow#and it translates into anger and lust and violence and desire and pain and love and the lines between all of them have blurred so much#to the point she doesn't even know what she's after anymore. she wants to have it all she hungers for more and more and more#but she can't just keep taking. and what happens when she's had enough? will she have ever had enough???#anyway as you can see i'm being normal about these people
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ive never seen anyone talk about this before so i will: i think the second opening of dungeon meshi symbolizes what would have happened if the winged lion won.
#think about it.#the blank background with nothing in it that seems to stretch out forever#the shot of all the background characters rising while being unnaturally happy#the golden kingdom citizens especially#and thistle dancing with delgal#being that delgal's happiness and the citizens' safety was his desire and all#which had already been eaten by the lion previously#not sure what it means that the touden party are the only ones seen with monsters and food but im sure it means something#my working theory is that it represents the eat or be eaten thing#the rest of the characters are being eaten#the party is seen capturing monsters to eat#in the end of the dream sequence they all smile as they fall into a pot#but at the last moment#both them and the pot disappear#perhaps that is the refusal to be eaten#and i think the shot of them looking into the pot with tiny versions of themselves#represents "if you want to take (eat) you must be prepared to have something taken away from you (in this case their lives. since theyre#gonna be eaten)#i think#tldr dungeon meshi opening 2 is laios's prophetic dream of saving the world from the maws of the winged lion by refusing to bow down and#become a meal#food#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#edit: my mistake the touden party arent the only ones seen with monsters — theyre seen throughout the opening#but my point still stands#theyre the only ones seen attacking/hunting them#aka making an active attempt to survive
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HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW HAVE I NEVER NOTICED IT BEFORE
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THIS IS THE OG NOVEL REFERENCE
SHE READ IT IN THE BOOK
COOL
#i read it last year and it was so cool#there were some inaccuracies that hurt my biology-nerd heart but thats the charm of jurassic park#but the big difference between the book and the movies was that john hammond was a DICK#he didnt care about his grandkids and he hated dinosaurs#and towards the end of the book he left the others behind#bcs he was a dick#broke his ankle#and was eaten by compies#and that scene was so fucking cool#not only was he killed bu creatures he hated and made money pf#but it wasnt even glorious#he was eaten by scavengers#creatures that eat the sick and dead#the ones that arent any threat at all#10/10#symbolism isnt dead#jurassic world camp cretaceous#jwcc#jurassic park#john hammond#i need more jurassic park friends#none of my friends care that there was a novel reference#LIKE ITS AMAZING WDYM???? CAN SOMEONE GEEK OUT WITH ME PLEASE
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akdbdndjshdf
#feel fucking crazy sometimes ugh ik rn it’s partially bc im kinda tired and i haven’t eaten#but like i do kinda wanna cry bc my friends be planning smth without me LMFAOOOOOOOOOO#it sounds so dumb :| ik it’s not tho lmfaobscbdbdndndkkdksjdhekws#i honestly just need to stop thinking and eat smth or just go to sleep bc i rly don’t feel like#making food rn lmao but#idk i like writing out my thoughts here sometimes so i think imma do that ;-;#bc like my two friends who i’ve been seeing nonstop lately mentioned getting pho w a group#and i def think i said i wanted to join#but they all like were talking abt it today and i think they started a gc to plan it and they do actually have plans#but idk shit abt it#and ik if i asked they would say i can join#but goddammit i could not bring myself to ask today#and honestly even thinking abt needing to ask makes me kinda want to cry#BRUH i wish i was over friendship exclusion bullshit#it’s this one fucking friend in middle school who made me sob a million fucking times#bc she straight up ignored me when we were w other friends#and my friends rn don’t do that#but idk being left out of this gc has made me insane ig 😀😀😀#they can’t even all fit in her car……..#idk like they also never said anything directly to me abt it even tho they were talking abt it in my vicinity#they asked someone else if she wanted to go ;-; like kinda absently but still#i hate that im complaining abt this i hate that i feel fucking crazy complaining abt this#like i can totally see a world where i just fucking ASK and my roommates like oh shit ur not in the group i didn’t realize#but also i could be deluding myself#its literally. not that deep im seeing the two of them tmrw and i can ask when im not out of my mind#ugh fucking fuck sometimes i hate relationships#but ik to some extent that these ppl like spending time w me even if its hard to believe sometimes like rn ig#but to think i have to start all over in a few months and find those ppl again#💀💀💀💀💀🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#anyway i’m fine i need to chill and do something productive 😭😭😭😭😭
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mm i Neeed to go the beach
#just me hi#wauhuhh !#something about just drifting around in water that i am slightly scared of that really makes my brain whir happily lol :>#i am slightly scared of it for two major reasons: 1) fish. lord the fish why are they so scary 2) sometimes i think i'll drown and they jus#won't find the body. which is less rational than the fish so that's why fish is my number 1 fear at all times lmao#/i think out of all the animals on the planet i am the most scared of ordinary fish. not even the deep sea stuff hfbshv#cuz look they're so far down there you Have to assume they look funked. and also they prolly don't like human meat. so it's cool#but regular fish?? some of them eat birds. they eat birds dude. what would they do to me if they knew how to use harpoons??#also they for SURE eat corpses so we loop back to fear no. 2 really just being fear no. 1 hbfhs#/see i'm not even that scared of the animals my parents are determined on exploding. like man if i get eaten that was prolly bound#to happen anyway. i Know how that goes. i know what mauling is lol#i am the only person in this house who will walk around outside on a moonless light w/ no flashlight because if i was sposed to be dead i#can guaranteE there are much better opportunities. funnier ones�� too#/just looked it up bobcats are SHY little guys. they are just shy babies. except for when they have rabies :)#shy rabies babies <3#/anyway back to the fish. i don't like how there are some that specifically like to eat human skin. mmm no i have never liked that ever not#one little bit. makes my skin crawl hghfsh#i don't care what it does or can do that is NOT cool lil dude ;w;#/hang on i'm googling 'weirdest things fish eat' because i want to scare myself i guess hbfhvbsf :'3#they're only showing me weird fish!!! no !! tell me about a fish that's living exclusively off of plastics!! or car tires !! come on !!!#these guys are just funky looking. and just Kinda funky looking. though this humphead guy is funny lol :)#he looks scary but with a charm that i can't deny#his forehead. and mouf. this guy is awesome#and of course he's endangered because the world is exploding. but it's so cool he exists :D#//anyway fish are scary. and miss humphead is Huge so goofiness aside he's also scary hhfbvs#also why do some of those motherfunkers swim close to shore and bite at you. those guys suck so bad#that's only happened to me so many times but enough for me to have a fear that has lasted for over half a decade lmao#//and anywho i'm running out of tag space lol :)#we're going ot the park!! i'm going to skate :DD !!#i wanna get good at my old stuff again hfsh - so bye! bye !! toodles !!!
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Rattatak is a barren wasteland and a war world being destroyed by its own people and locked in eternal conflict with mostly temporary buildings and living places except for the warlords and people with power's houses which are more permanent but are still very not well built and look like they're on the verge of collapse idk what the fuck this was
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#daily asajj thought of the day#and there are NO trees.#(mostly my headcanons but it's so real to me)#i have so many thoughts about it godddd#the arena from clone wars 2003 also plays into it#i think it makes much more sense when it's war-torn world#like there's metal that's mined and shit but they just make weapons out of it#plants are very scarce and shit#and those that do exist are barely edible#just enough for animals to eat#(said animals get eaten by the people)#probably once there was a stable civilization but that's done by the prequels#my headcanons just give it individuality from being just another planet idk#aaaand i have an actual explenation to asajj and ky being stuck there#which is based on legends#reading the legends rattataki wookiepedia page and yes i am correct it works#rattatak#rattataki#sw#star wars
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today is not my day....
#first I wanted to play some TF2 vsh games but then everybody played the knockback game and I couldnt do anything#then I tried play Ultrakill and P ranking but that just. didnt work out with these emotions#then I went to start a game with a little one planet game and just. I got the Vultaum.#after that I just decided to log off and eat some food#went for an easy meal that I could just throw in the oven for a bit and munch on#but I opened the box and someone had eaten every piece except 1 and that one was alsp broken#i guess I could try hopping on my minecraft world but with my luck so far I'd just get blown up by a random creeper and delete the world
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do you reckon yue still eats fish in the spirit world or is that cannibalism
#like#imagine being yue for a sec#a massive part of your diet is fish#and then you find out that you owe your life to a fish#and now you are a fish#i fear i'd spontaneously combust with that knowledge#yue is such a queen for continuing to live her life in the spirit world as a fish#do you reckon sokka stopped eating fish after yue's sacrifice because he didn't want to eat his first love#by accident???#yall#actually jokes aside in law yesterday we learnt that it's not cannibalism unless the person being eaten is dead#so#do with that information what you will#sokkaxyue#yue and tui#bro tui and la have a sick sense of humour#atla
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5 Happy Things
May 13, 2024
Been drinking this expensy chocolate milk that this family from my church makes and it's so insanely good and doesn't trigger my lactose intolerance we're winning
Had manga class todayyyyy
Finished last week's overspilling projects for my Shakespeare course!!!
Texted my mom after waking up quite late and she was like "yay I'm glad you slept well <3" hi that's love
Made pasta with spinach and a new pasta sauce! The new sauce is not good but I had it!
#5 happy things#the new sauce is this vodka thing so it was like. spicy in that alcohol way that i Did Not Appreciate#i should've gone with the rose sauce instead but my brain was like 'let's try new things maybe we'll like this one'#GIRL YOU DON'T LIKE PASTA SAUCE THAT'S NOT ROSE. YOU KNOW THIS. YOU GREW UP EATING PASTA.#silly silly but i still liked the pasta it was still good. i think i would've eaten more if it was rose though#in manga glass today we were talking about how lwac was inspired by student protests in part#and my prof was like 'y'all know we have student protests on campus right?'#like yeah man i walked to class. we saw 'em. hbgiwojdslk#also the faculty sent out an email about them#'twas a cool discussion but the prof sometimes asks questions that make it hard to think#like sometimes he asks a question like it's an 'either or' and it makes me feel like a toddler bc it's usually neither actually#like sir I KNOW it's a secret third thing and YOU KNOW it's a secret third thing so why are we pretending otherwise!!!#it is hard to be smart when i am trying to fit into the world your words are making!!!
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Incorrect Quotes, ft. @yes7erdays
#aka the secret post-regeneration adventure BBC doesn't want you to know about#its a eat or be eaten kind of world out there#yes7erdays
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It’s been a while since I’ve drawn traditionally, and I’ve drawn fucked up radiative deer (prypiatosian-B) locked in combat with another significantly less opportune fucked up radiation deer being eaten by radiotrophic spider fungus: full bloom form (the colloquially named prypiatosian-C)
Yada yada that one deer found with a decapitated enemy locked antler to antler, something something my pre-established prypiatosian-B headcanon where they - in dire need - dissolve their solid radioactive bones for more energy, the skull would be the very last thing to be eaten because it is the one collection of bones that actually protects something. You know a B is desperate when you see them smash their head against another or like the zombie virus deer, against a rock, in an effort to eat up the radioactive material spilling from the seams.
#prypiatosian-b#prypiatosian-c#ben 10#fanart#horror#body horror#graphic descriptions of violence#ask to tag#i was using my sketchbook to try and design up an appropriately spidery fungusy decomposer alien- but then i got distracted#distracted by an idea i’ve had for eons now but distracted nonetheless#if you get p’andor to play last of us and he gets far enough to see a fungus you might see him straight up tap out#because that fictional world is in part reality to prypiatos where the unsheltered (both in home and in shell) nomadic Bs are just kinda…#vulnerable- susceptible- anything really to the Cs#As probably are like humans in the sense that they’d eat funguses at the very least#but like humans- if an A finds themselves eating a spore of C well#imagine being eaten from the inside out#you can visually see a bloomed B- nothing to hide#but a bloomed A? C’s intelligence and A’s exoskeleton may convince another that they’re just as alive as before#and not another case of spidersman (spiderman made out of the millions of spiders that ate him)
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I made a new suitor for my horror-comedy dating manga concept I Escaped My Genre!
At this community cooking college, majoring in dinner theatre of course means that you must master the art of theatre AS WELL AS the art of cabaret-appropriate foods that align with the themes of whatever show you are doing!
But the college also has a vibrant student theatre scene: Phoenix is actually directing the Drama Club's production of Romeo & Juliet this spring as their end-of-year final! I wonder if Samo will try out! (And I wonder if Phoenix will end up looking romantically into Samo's eyes and finding that in that moment, all zyr carefully-curated bravado drops away, and suddenly, ze is no longer acting; ze is simply feeling, and it changes everything.)
Also, since I put so much work into this character design, Phoenix will absolutely be making an appearance in my graphic novel! (You can find my published scripts and concept art here, if you wanna make my day!)
#when i say cabaret-appropriate foods i mean foods that can easily and cleanly be eaten while ur eyes and body are turned towards the stage#[flashback to eating the world's messiest sandwich at my 1st cabaret show & THOROUGHLY embarrassing myself. the actors saw. it was awful.]#i escaped my genre#my art#phoenix k. phillips#hikari and simon and phoenix all have better and more carefully considered character design bc i drew the cover as a quick joke and i#drew those 3 after becoming invested so they turned out more detailed and interesting looking. if i did make this a real series i would#revamp some of the designs. i know that a lot of animes have similar-looking characters so that'd match the genre but#i care more about my characters having diverse faces and body types than i care about matching the exact style#but it is fine for now. it isn't like they are BAD character designs it's just that i could do better#junji ito#ito junji#horror#horror comedy#alt-text#image description#image descriptions#I've never known of a dinner theatre w thematically appropriate foods but it would be so fun!#i don't think samo is cast as a lead but maybe they're a small part and or an understudy. either way the audition affects phoenix very much#samo is very rarely shown speaking so. but sometimes you need to stand in for an actor who isn't at rehearsal#*very rarely shown speaking so i don't think juliet quite works but idk yet#anyway phoenix is gonna be a delight in The Blacksmith#original characters
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So here’s the thing about racist caricatures: there’s a root, it’s started by a characteristic blown out of proportion. It is not the responsibility of the people being caricatured to change those characteristics, regardless of how strange/unacceptable/weird it seems to people not in that group
#eaii#I’m talking about viet people eating dogs#look. if it makes you upset and yes I can kind of sympathize#mind your own fucking business?#this is related to the issues I have with vegans#but yeah ok I get why it squicks you out to hear that people eat a creature that you hold dear#animals is animals is animals. and people need to eat#do you think people in viet nam don’t also have dogs as companions? or do you racistly assume they all get fuckin eaten#if you are so upset by what people on the other side of the world eat#then maybe go do something else. idk#instead of idk#bringing it up every time your coworker unpacks their lunch which has a protein you can’t identify immediately#or flooding the comments section of a Vietnamese cooking channel with hate#because they had the audacity to have a dog. in their house. while cooking. while being viet#for instance.#it’s also worth mentioning that it’s pretty controversial in vietnam in the modern day#and two it’s not like a thing offered on every restaurant on every street corner it’s very much a specialty item thing#like you don’t go to tgi fridays expecting to be served veal
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