#it's always inevitable that i lose the people i'm close to so why do i even bother trying

[phoenshire]

.

[misskingshit]

𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘵 summary: where he has an interest in a certain pop singer, and he doesn't try to hide it. note: believe me or not i’ve been listening hip hop since Im like 15 y/o, soooo why not do an M&M’s fic?? Let me know if u want part 2! xoxo

The lyrics of Mr Eminem's new song being mostly about you? That was something you definitely didn't expect.

I get so weak on my knees

Lose all control

Damn, her silhouette

So hot

Fuck bein’ a gentleman

I'm going to fuck her instead

The red carpet at the Grammys has always been a dream for you, you had already won a couple of awards, today... you were excited to be the presenter of one of them.

Best Rap Album.

To say you were excited is an understatement.

You've loved this genre of music since you were a teenager, Tupac, Fifty, Snoop...to name the most classics.

The camera flashes were the only thing you saw, accompanied by many voices that stunned your ears just by hearing your name.

"Y/N! over here!" A reporter called you, without hesitation, you approached.

"Hey how are you?" you asked with a big smile.

"Incredible! How are you? I imagine you're very excited for tonight" he smiles.

"Don't even mention it! I can't wait to call the winner on stage!"

"Do you think Eminem is nominated? He's been on everyone's mouth lately with his latest song..."

Here we go.

"Yeah... well, I'm sure he'll be nominated, I mean, he's fucking Eminem, it would be like a sin if he wasn't, right?" You laughed a little awkwardly.

"What do you think about his last song, about his comments towards you? 50% of people are upset calling Eminem a degenerate..." you didn't let him finish speaking.

"Well...I really like him, I mean, I've always been his fan and it's an honor to be named in one of his songs. Plus I also think that...we all know how he's like, if you don't like his way to be, to think, to speak, the lyrics of his songs, just don't listen to it and that's it, problem solved, I don’t see the point in hating so much on something you can just...ignore" you laugh looking at the camera "Just take things more lightly, not everything is fighting and bad intentions."

You finished your conversation with said reporter and simply headed to your designated seat.

On the other hand, a certain blonde boy was also being attacked with questions regarding his controversial lyrics.

"She's here? Shit, I want to see her," the blonde rapper said, showing a small, very small, smile, turning his head around with the intention of catching some sign of the hot pop singer, you.

"Yes! In fact she will be the one to present the award for best rap album!"

"No shit! Damn man she's here" Em turned around and said to his best friend, Proof.

In a few minutes everyone finished settling into their seats and you both were surprised when you looked at each other, just a few seats away.

You were five seats to the right and three to the back, so you caught him every time he turned his head back a little to look and smile at you.

Until, soon...your moment had arrived, you got up from your seat to head backstage.

By the way, when you walked past the rapper, he didn't try to hide the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off you for even a second.

"And the Grammy goes to..." you created some tension "EMINEN!" You blurted out the name more excited than you should have.

The rapper's reaction might not have been very expressive normally, but he couldn't contain his smile when he knew who would be the one giving to him his award. The rapper and his friends got on stage and it was inevitable that you felt nervous as you watched him walk towards you, with a playful look, as if he knew what he generated in you.

"Congratulations," you whispered when he was close enough to you, taking the grammy as you felt the soft brush of his fingers against yours, he did it on purpose.

You didn't expect him to give you a hug.

"That's all I get?" He whispered back to you, keeping your faces close and your noses touching, his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him as if he didn't want to move away from you.

A great bustle from the public was heard, and it took them both out of the small cloud in which they were.

This was definitely going to stir the waters.

You both walked away, while you greeted and congratulated the rest of his friends (Proof winking at you in the process).

"Wow, shit, this is crazy, thank you so much to everyone who made the production of this album possible, Dr Dre, who always had my back, I will be forever grateful...and my god, damn, thanks to whoever the fuck is that put this beauty in that dress..." he turned to look at you and winked "Y/N Y/L/N ladies and gentlemen, the source of my inspiration for Heat Seeker"

Obviously, you blushed.

The entire audience was applauding, probably already starting to gossip among themselves about the little show between you and Eminem.

Like a gentleman he offered you his hand as he watched you walk down the steps of the stage with great caution. "Thank you," you whispered. “Any time” he smiles at you.

´Til the end of the awards you continued to connect glances from time to time, you also noticed how his friends bothered him every time he turned his head to look at you.

"Hey, Y/N! wait!" listen to yourself behind your back. "Hey," you looked at him softly, "whats up?" He shook his head quickly. "I just wanted to…I mean, normally I wouldn't give a shit, but, I wanted to make sure that the song didn't offend you, it wasn't to upset you…" You interrupted his attempt to apologies "Don't worry, I understand it was just the song, I didn't take it personally, actually, I loved it" you laughed. "You did? I'm glad you're not like the rest and laugh instead of being offended." His attempt to hide his smile failed completely.

It just slips away from him.

Just with you.

A few seconds of silence took over the situation, though it wasn't uncomfortable, your eyes connected and you didn't seem to realize that you had been staring at each other. "Uhm, I was about to go to my hotel," you pointed behind you, "I was gonna change for the afterparty."

"Can I go with you?" He asked you, but before you processed the fact that he wanted to go with you to your hotel, he interrupted your thoughts "I mean, just so then we can go to the party together, if you want" he scratched the back of his neck.

You didn't even need to think about it "Yeah, I would like that" you smiled.

The two of you walked together towards your limo, captured by several cameras, so neither of you doubted that tomorrow you would wake up to a bunch of articles about how Eminem and Y/N left the Grammy's together. But none of you care about it.

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 4

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: Not sure if I'm completely happy with how this chapter came out, but I hope you still enjoy it.

Masterlist | Read ch 3 here

Loki had watched through a checkered screen how you held onto his hand as if he were your whole world. He had watched the love in your eyes and the smile on your lips, all directed at him. And now, he watched as you, in flesh and bone right in front of him, walked away.

There was a foreign feeling consuming his heart the more you distanced yourself from him. It was akin to loss, but how could he lose something that wasn't even his?

He was about to make the mistake of going after you when Mobius finally returned from the storage room he had been talking to you in.

"What happened?" Loki asked with a hint of urgency, his brows furrowed.

Mobius took in a long breath and then let it go past his lips. "She said she wants nothing to do with you."

Loki's frown only deepened, his eyes shifting between Mobius and the place you had disappeared into. If anything, he looked slightly offended. "Why?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious that she watched her Loki die, right?" Mobius gestured around, sounding a little fed up with all of this. "So it's a delicate subject, give her time, don't get on her face, don't be obnoxious, and she'll likely come around and be willing to answer whatever it is you wanna ask."

Loki blinked at the words, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "I'm not obnoxious."

─── ·❆· ───

"Stop looking at me like a lost puppy," you grumbled with a scowl on your features, gripping tightly onto your food tray.

Loki, who stood right beside you, scoffed. "I am not. I'm looking at the rice you're standing right in front of."

You breathed in, slowly, holding yourself back from rolling your eyes. It's been three weeks since Mobius tried to reintroduce you two, and for the past two weeks, you've gained a new shadow. He doesn't talk much; or interacts much with you at all for that matter. But he's always there.

TVA's cafeteria was usually bustling with people this time of day, which was exactly why you always came by at least an hour earlier; but today you got caught up with work and there was no other option than to brave the crowds, otherwise, you'd stay without lunch.

When you'd picked up everything you wanted to eat, you turned around and surveyed the spacious room for any vacant tables. By the corner and near the railings that overlooked the city—or, what you would call a city here in the TVA, because to be honest, you still weren't sure what to name most of the things in this place—stood the only vacant table left, small and round, with two lonely chairs.

You closed your eyes and mumbled a curse under your breath. You made a beeline for the table, and you didn't have to look behind you to know that Loki was following your steps.

You settled into a chair and a few seconds later Loki made himself comfortable beside you. It was… strange, having him around. The racing of your heart every time he was near you was inevitable, but you were doing the impossible to dissociate any feelings from it. He was just another variant, that was it, nothing more. You just wished you knew what his obsession with you was all about, so what if he saw his would-be future with you? That was not yours or his life anymore.

"Your food is gonna get cold."

Loki's voice caught your attention, you glanced toward him with a frown, only now realizing that you'd been poking your food around with your fork for a while, lost in thought. For a heartbeat, you held his gaze, you allowed yourself to drown in those ever-familiar bright eyes that you'd missed so much. But before you could lose yourself in the ocean, you swam back up. This wasn't your Loki, no; you had to remind yourself of it, time and time again. For your own sake, you had to believe in that lie.

For the last couple of weeks that he'd been following you around, more and more you noticed the same glint in Loki's eyes, a mix between expectant and lost. You wondered if even he knew what exactly he wanted from you.

The only answer you gave to him was a low hum.

─── ·❆· ───

The days inside the TVA blend together easily, that was something you learned in your first few weeks here. In all fairness, it's what one would expect for a place out of time. Sometimes the day they captured you as just another variant felt like ages ago. Sometimes, it felt like just yesterday.

It had been difficult when you first arrived here, nearly unbearably so. In the blink of an eye, you had lost your entire life, everyone you still loved and held dear became unreachable. It was either starting a new life here, or ending your life altogether. For some reason, you still felt like living.

The TVA kept you busy then, enough for you to not succumb to panic. As days went by, it became easier; as time passed, or as Mobius would tell you, as time passed differently, you became almost numb to what you'd lost. Almost.

A sigh went past your lips as you ran your fingertips over the paper. Mobius usually had you go over each file reporting a possible new Loki variant. Finding patterns and creating connections they otherwise wouldn't have noticed. You tried not to dwell too much on the fact that you had to use your connection to the person you once loved as a form of work.

Your desk stood by the edge of the library, away from too much commotion, a cozy little space you'd given your own personal touch to over the time you'd been here. A few books here, a small cassette player there, a snack drawer, a sketchbook, a purple desk lamp; small things to remind yourself you were still human.

As much as you could, you made a new home here.

A shadow suddenly appeared over the paper in your hands, you straightened your posture on your chair before looking up.

Loki stood before you, in his dress shirt and dark jacket with the word variant on the back—you'd worn one of those too on your first days here, now that you recall. He held a fresh stack of papers in his hands that already had you internally groaning.

"Mobius sends his regards," Loki smirked as he dropped the papers on your desk.

"Great," you mumbled, sarcasm dripping from your words, "it's not like I wanted to sleep tonight anyway."

A beat passed and you could feel Loki's gaze still lingering on you. From the corner of your eyes you watched as his fingers nervously tapped the wood of your desk. You hated that you knew this habit of his oh so well.

"Maybe I could assist you." Loki pulled a chair from the empty table to your left, setting it on the edge of your desk so he could sit down. But before he did so, he said, "If you'd like."

He was giving you an out from spending time with him, even if that was clearly what he wanted. You nearly took it. Your lips hung open, ready to say something like; I work better alone, or go bother someone else. But your eyes suddenly had a faint burn behind them, your chest squeezing tight around your heart—the heart that still bled and missed him every day. "Knock yourself out," you found yourself saying, without looking up from your paperwork.

Loki sat down on his chair beside you, took a few of the papers in his hands, and for a good few minutes, the silence that lingered between you was, surprisingly, somewhat comfortable.

Stealing glances at you was inevitable. As Loki read the files in his hands, the words started to blur together, and he found his gaze drifting to you. He observed the way you'd frown slightly as you read over the lines, sometimes scoffing or mumbling something to yourself.

You were quite annoying, Loki had to agree with Mobius on that. Stubborn, closed off, and hard to read. If it were anyone else, Loki wouldn't even consider losing his time of day, but each time he saw you, his heart jumped and stumbled inside his chest, he grew short of breath, cold hands turning clammy. It was inevitable. His body acting against his will, as if his soul ached to touch yours.

He had to know why.

"May I ask," Loki began, hints of hesitance in his words.

Your eyebrow perked up a little, but you still refused to look at him.

Loki pursed his lips before speaking, "Mobius mentioned you've been here a while, that he found you could be useful. But he never went into detail." He let go of the papers in his hands, "how did you get here? Why didn't they prune you?"

You visibly tensed. Jaw setting tightly into place as you took in a short breath through your nose. For several moments, you kept quiet, eyes fixed on the same words in the file you held as you considered whether to humor him or not. You weren't sure why you answered, the words simply rolled off your tongue; a subconscious reaction to the sound of his voice.

"It was my fault, I tried to travel through time when I knew I shouldn't. They caught me pretty much immediately." You chuckled humorlessly, stealing a glance toward Loki only to find his eyes already focused on you. You nearly drowned again. "They kept me around because…" You hesitated, and then merely gestured to the scattered papers on your desk; "I know a lot about Lokis," you shrugged, "and they needed help with that."

A small frown came to Loki's features as he weighed your words. He twirled one of your pencils between his fingers. "Why would you travel through time if you knew you shouldn't?"

Immediately, Loki knew he'd touched a nerve. Your whole demeanor changed, it almost felt like a curtain had fallen over you and a whole new person sat beside him. What little you had began to open up, was back under lock and key.

You didn't raise your voice, you didn't lash out. You simply cleared your throat, turned away from him, and said; "I thought you wanted to stay to help me work. So either do that, or leave me be."

Loki's lips hovered, ready to retaliate with a quip of his own, but he bit back any words he might want to say. Give her time.

He nodded to no one in particular, and indeed went back to work.

Later at night, when the TVA was strangely quiet, and most people had already turned in for the night. Loki glanced beside him only to find you drifting into sleep; one hand holding your cheek and the other loosely holding a pencil that had scratched a weird, faint line into the file on your desk.

It felt unexpectedly intimate. Loki glanced from one side of the dim-lit library to the other, as if looking for a clue on what he should do.

Carefully, almost comically so, he took the pencil from your delicate hold and stacked the file you had with the small pile he'd created.

The desk lamp right beside you cast a faint glow over your features, shaping your cheekbones, nose, and lips. Loki couldn't help but notice, that the light also shaped a thin but rather deep scar running from your forehead to the beginning of your left eyebrow; from the look of it, it appeared to have been there for a while now.

Without giving himself too much room to overthink, Loki reached out and gave a single push to your shoulder. His fingers tingled from your warmth.

You stirred awake, gasping softly as soon as you opened your eyes. You blinked several times, willing your mind to focus back on reality.

"I suppose we're done," Loki told you, keeping his voice just an octave lower as he turned his gaze to the small stack of papers. "If you're quick, you can still grab a few hours of sleep before the new day starts."

"Right," you breathed, running a hand through your hair. Eyebrows still furrowed as you processed what was happening.

You tidied your desk in silence, and Loki put the chair he had borrowed back in its place. He turned to you then, half expecting you to simply turn around and walk away. You didn't, and maybe it was a trick of the light, or the fact that he could visibly notice your eyes dropping from tiredness, but your features were the softest he had ever seen them be. A quick glimpse of the girl he'd first seen from the life he was supposed to have.

Loki held his breath. He wasn't sure why, but he did.

"Thank you for the help," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, refusing to hold his gaze for more than a second, "see you around."

With that, you turned around and left. Loki's heartbeat kept the same rushed pace until he reached his own small bedroom.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 5 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

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[deathofacupid]

a/n: very short, very angst filled, very self-indulgent, probably. mostly wrote it to get it out of my head. word count: 737 words. warnings: suicide, grief, depression, overall dark themes. possible spoilers, maybe? pairing: satoru x suguru x reader .ᐟ

at some point, everything was perfect. or close to it, at least. you could imagine a future with your boyfriends, or whatever they were. there wasn't really a label, you realize, as you're thinking back to it.

when people said your names, it sounded all like one big word - "gojo-geto-and-y/n" - because wherever you were, chances are, they were, too.

the truth was, at least when suguru left, you still had satoru. somebody was there to pull you from the dark, and you'd do the same with him. an anchor. kept you steady, held still in one spot. the fear was, if you ever strayed from that spot, you'd never make it back.

so, what happens when your anchor is now aweigh? just like it was predicted, you'd stray. and you were. straying, i mean. you won, but at what cost? who was left?

not your sugu'. not your 'toru.

it was just you and shoko, expected to somehow move past the deaths of all your loved ones? sometimes it felt like the blood shed wasn't worth the blood saved.

when you closed your eyes, you could put together a carefully hand-crafted world where everything went just right. you caught the signs of suguru's hurt, his pain, and you helped him.

but then what? would the reign of sukuna be inevitable? would you have lost everyone, anyways?

you knew this was a possibility, as a sorcerer. you'd been told this constantly, yet you still never expected it to ever happen. they were the strongest people you knew. and they died. they left you.

you'd always follow where they'd go. why would it be any different this time?

as you sit in front of their graves, ones that were right beside each other, you wonder if they've already found each other up there. the cool metal of the gun weighs heavy in your hands, and you place it gently beside you, pulling up shoko's contact.

you listen to it ring.

"hello?" her voice is warm, like a love you've always known.

"hi, shoko," you murmur. angling your head up, you let the hot tears fall.

"need something?" you can hear the shuffling of paper on her end.

there's a beat of silence. "no, um, i just need to say sorry."

"for what?" she snorts. "did you eat the bento in the common room fridge? because i know i put my name on there."

you laugh. it's broken, wet from tears. you can hear the worry in her voice. "what's going on?"

"i'm so sorry. i wanted to be strong, like you. because you are. you- you sat through all of this, and i haven't seen you break, not even once. but-"

"can you tell me where you are? i want to pick you up."

"-i'm not. and i can't do this without them. i- i can't live. it's not fair, sho. and i know how selfish it sounds, but i want to be up there with them. i want my chance with them. i can't... live. not without them, i can't. there's nothing left for me. i- i wanted to get married to them, have kids, grow old. but who am i gonna do that with? i can't see myself ever moving past this," you cry, knees now pulled to your chest.

"y/n, please. don't do this. it'll get better, i promise. all you can do is live. and i know you say it's impossible, but you have to. for them. it's what they would want."

"but what about me? what about what i want?" you interrupt. because, yes, what about you?

"i don't know," she's pleading now. you feel horrible. so guilty. you're leaving her, too. "but i can't lose you, too."

"i know, i know. i hope you can someday forgive me. i hate that i'm leaving you alone. but you're stronger than me, remember? you can handle one more. i know it. bury me next to them, okay?"

but you weren't crying because you were scared, god, no. you were going home.

"i'm sorry," you sob, one more pitiful time, as you press the barrel to your head.

in just a couple seconds, you'd be where you were supposed to be. with the loves of your life. and then, everything would truly be perfect.

the second you pull the trigger, you're dead before you hit the ground. you don't even hear her scream.

home, at last.

all banner credits to @anitalenia .ᐟ

[lynnlovesthestars]

Could I ask for a Astarion x Durge!Tav

I've done 2 Durge playthoughs and wish , which ever companion you romance has a reaction when Durge rejects to be bhasls chosen and gets killed but brought back to life by withers .

When the party returns to the camp after they discover she was a mastermind in all the trouble .

she doesn't talk to anyone . Especially Astarion ....She has now taken the farthest away bed from the others and waits for everyone to go to sleep and she would get up and leave kethrics netherstone next to Astarion and she would leave to face orin alone .

But by the time they find her they find her after she defeats orin she's Exhausted and bloody they would get there too late as they would enter the temple and get close to her Astarion and the others would hear her go " I reject "and see her get killed by bhaal. His love , his darling was now gone....he cradles her when withers appears to bring her back .

If this is a lot I'm sorry I got carried away . I haven't found anything but one snippet someone made about this scene . And I love you writing and wish to see your take on this .

Sorry im so late, but here i am. Lete but always coming back at a certain point t.t

BG3 x durge HC When you refuse bhaal

The shock of the new discovery downs on the group only when you return to the elfsong tavern. The room is filled with an unusual tension as everyone follows your movements unsure whether they should trust you or avoid you.

You are silent as you gather your belongings to move, your brain swirling with all the new knowledge as it threatens to overwhelm you.

You move to the bed in the very corner, opposite to where everyone rested, to give them space and to give yourself some as well as you had to reweight the path you followed and prepare for your next act.

It is past midnight when everyone is finally asleep and your plan is finally set in motion. You leave Ketheric’s netherstone on Astarion’s nightstand and leave.

Astarion notices accidentally, the clung of the stone on his nightstand somewhat wakes him from his trance, yet only when it was too late, he realizes what’s going on.

The whole group rushes through the city, quick to reach the sewers and delve deeper into the ravines as everyone is panicking. Whatever you were planning, they knew it was going to be disastrous, and they wouldn’t- no, couldn’t allow it. As much as they were shocked, they still cared about you. Yet the moment the doors of the temple of Bhaal flung open, they were late.

“I reject.” You beamed clearly, not an ounce of remorse in your voice before you quickly turn your head towards the commotion at the door, and you couldn’t help but smile as they all stood there, desperate as you breathed your last breath.

Wyll:

“DAMNED YOU, BHAAL” He yelled as he rushed to your side, his hands quickly reaching around your contorted figure, bringing you to his chest. He pressed his ear to your chest, still arched in his arms, trying to find a pulse, life, anything, yet he was met with silence.

“Shit” He murmurs as he curls on the floor, his arms bound to you as if in a curse. He had to do something. He had saved Baldur’s Gate, slayed dragons, minotaurs, and couldn’t save you, his sweet love.

How many people was he bound to lose? Was he ready to give up his dream of a life with you? No, no, no he wasn’t, so he did what his chest told him to do.

It was almost a cry in pain as he sobbed the syllables out loud, knowing she was already listening. She was always there, he knew it.

“Mizora, do what you do best” He spat as the tears still descended down his scarred cheeks.

“Now, now,  pet.” She tsked sadness in her voice. “I wouldn’t rush certain decisions” She warned, aware of what was going to happen, yet incapable of telling him it was already going to be okay.

Gale:

He is rushing down to the altar, trying to stop the inevitable as he tries to cast a spell, Tiny Hut, as if it could stop a God’s punishment. He should have known better.

“Why did you do it, you fool” He cried out as he sunk to his knees, hopelessly placing his head on your chest to feel your pulse, as if the broken bones were not enough an indication of how dead you were.

The second he couldn’t feel your heartbeat, and he could physically feel your body from growing cold, he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, soaking your shirt as he clinged to you as if you were going to disappear at any moment, his sobs echoing in the temple.

“You can’t leave me, you understand?” He sobbed as he fisted your shirt and hopelessly tried to shake you awake. 

Astarion

Shit.

He’s running before you can even fall to the ground, oh he wished he had some magic to protect you from the impact with the floor, but he could barely make it in time to see you eyes turn lifeless.

“You can’t do this to me, you idiot, I love you, you understand. I can’t bear to see you like this“ He cries as he hoists you up in his lap, your head lolling on his shoulder.

“I love you” He whispers as his head drops to the side, the tears flooded his eyes as he rocked the two of you back and forth. “Tav, please” He murmured as if just begging would help.

Shadowheart

They say there’s nothing worse for a medic to see their loved ones hurt, their bodies fall to the ground helpless as they can do nothing but stare. They say that you lose all reason, and that’s what she felt like. She felt as she lost everything all over again. She felt just like when she was under Shar’s tyranny all over again.. lost.

Before she could comprehend what she was doing she was on her knees, your head resting on her  thighs as she rubbed her hands together and channeled all her magic in the healing spell. Yet it was not enough. She tried and tried as tears stained her cheeks as, one at a time, they joined her in a circle, some trying to reassure Shadowheart and some already feeling defeated.

But she didn't want to lose faith, she couldn't. She couldn't just abandon her lover when your love had just had the chance to blossom anew. She couldn't give up.

“Where is that sack of bones?” She wailed as she picked up the beaten body. “Someone call withers please” She'd beg desperately until he appeared in front of her, and maybe there was still a chance.

Lae’zel

You can’t be dead, she swears as you break in front of her. She wonders how you do it, to smile one last time as you bid her goodbye before falling to the ground, as your bones split in half yet you hold back the screams. It can’t be.

It takes her one second too long to realize what's going on before she’s at your side. Her hands barely shaking as she picks you up and cradles you to her chest.

“Bhaal, can you hear me?” She asks in the hollow temple. “You have made a dangerous enemy” She swears as she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “I will find you and I will slain you” She screams as she does her best to hold back the tears and stop her voice from shaking. “Tsk'in'va” She can almost hear the god’s laughter as she pulls you impossibly closer, whispering in your ear. “I will avenge you, my love”

Karlach

Anger bubbles up in her stomach, as she bolts down the stairs. "you can't abandon me too, Okay Soldier?” For once she fights the rage, she turns the heat into despair as she falls to her knees and envelopes you with her warmth. It was heartbreaking, for so long she was Stripped of love, of care, and once again the universe was against her. “ FUCK YOU BHAAL. If you think you can take them away from me, you are wrong.” She pulled you up in her arms rocking your lifeless body as shadowheart approached you two. “I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND TAKE AWAY ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, You sack of shit“ She screamed in front of the hollow altar that she desecrated with her spit.

Halsin:

Halsin can’t believe his eyes; his body moves as per inertia as he rushes next to you, his arms finding their home around your middle as their usual, and yet met with your lifeless body. He doesn’t care about what happens around him, as your companions take out their weapons ready to fight, he weeps, he prays Silvanus, he holds you as if everything depends on your sweet eyes meeting his again, but he knows.

He knows deep down that Silvanus can’t help him, that his tears can’t bring you back to him, and so he clutches desperately to your cooling body, uncaring if his robes soak in your blood, uncaring if he will break down in front of everyone.

He uses all his magic attempting to heal you, he begs Shadowheart and Jaheira, but neither can help.

The room fell silent when everyone but your companions were alive, the echo of the sobs mixed with the panting as Halsin managed to cast one last spell. The crown of roses sits around your temple delicately as he can’t help but sob louder. So many times he had wished he could stop in a flowerfield to make you a crown, the crown you deserved, yet the only time he was able to give you the flowery circlet, it was as you laid dead in his embrace.

Withers speaks and speaks as Halsin weaves his hands with yours, before placing a soft kiss to your forehead. His tears stained both his and your skin as he can’t help but ignore what the Skeleton is saying, whispering prayers, begging to have you back.

“My love, please, please please” He says under his breath, his eyes are completely drained of tears, his throat is sore, his body aches from sitting on his knees for so long, and yet he doesn’t let go. “Silvanus had just blessed me with you, I can’t lose you already” He cries as he holds you to his chest tighter. Then he feels. The slow beat in your chest, your body fighting to get back in its shape, your chest rising rhythmically as your eyes finally open.

“My love” He sobs as he tightens his grip around your frame. “Don’t do this to me ever again” He nuzzles his head against your shoulders, more tears streaming heavily down his cheeks as his prayers turn to thanks.

“I thought I had lost you forever. For so long I wanted to give you a token of my love and I-” He hiccups. “I failed you, my love”

[clxssified-mirxcle]

God, I'm so Lovesick ᯓ★ Satoru

Satoru Gojo isn’t normal. Not as a sorcerer, not as a coworker, not as a friend, and certainly not as a friend with benefits. After all, why does he keep insisting on doing all the things that a couple does when you two clearly aren’t? It's almost like he likes you or something!

Containing:

Friends with Benefits, Satoru and you being complete idiots, Obliviousness, Unrequited (not really) love, Implied suggestive content, Denial is a river in Egypt...and also in Reader's head apparently, Impulsive confession

Notes: Mimi tries to avoid use of phrase "Y/N" at all costs; Wrote this with Fem!Reader in mind but tried not to mention it very often. Any feedback is appreciated esp when it comes to writing x readers in general!

Nowadays, it feels like you're waking up in his bed more often than not. Silk sheets, sun rays streaming through the floor to ceiling windows of the penthouse, and that grin of his. His hand messed up your hair when he noticed that you were awake, tangled from the activities that have become more and more frequent ever since you two made that deal.

Six months ago..

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date or something?"

You looked up from your paperwork- your students had just come back from another mission with a grade 3 curse. It was your co-worker, white hair and blindfolded in black. You sighed, wondering how he always knew. It'd been going on like this for a while now- you'd find someone to talk to, and just as you were to go out on a date, they'd cancel last minute or ghost you- it made you wonder if it was a curse sometimes.

"Does that Six Eyes of yours count towards other people's love lives or something?" You asked, rolling your eyes and signing the last page before filing it away. You hadn't even bothered to dress up this time- you felt like something happening was inevitable. You and Gojo were somewhat close, you supposed. Not enough to be on a first name basis, but enough to be friendly. He always laughed and said you were being too picky about it, to just call it being friends. So that's what you did.

You called it being friends, but with you both being sorcerers, it wasn't the most normal of friendships. He'd barge into your office proclaiming that the two of you should hang out, which often ended up with him lying on the couch and talking while you did your paperwork…and his as well.

It was nice, though, listening to him talk. You couldn't tell half the time whether his stories were real or not, and he'd usually bring sweets with him. Whether or not you had to bribe him to get them depended on how nice he felt that day about sharing.

"Shame. They're losing out," He commented as he swung your office chair to face him, a hand on one of the armrests. "We should go out for drinks then. You can drink your sorrows away, and I-"

"Gojo, you don't drink. It messes with Infinity, doesn't it?" You said, cutting him off with an unimpressed look. He probably just wanted to laugh at you while you cried and take blackmail photos. The man had a folder full of Megumi photos; he probably had one filled with ones of you at awkward angles too. It was comical how dramatic his face was as it fell, looking like you'd killed a puppy in front of him.

"You're such a party killer…but that's not a no to going out, is it?" He grinned, switching back quickly and leaning back. "Let's get milkshakes, then. I know this one American-style diner in Harajuku that specialises in them."

"…Do I even have a choice?" You asked, crossing your arms in your chair. When it came to sweets, the man was nothing short of ravenous.

"Nope!" Gojo chimed, using the sleeve of your uniform to pull you up and tug you with him as he headed out the door. "And stop with that 'Gojo' stuff, will you? Call me Satoru, like a normal friend."

The ride to the diner was…relatively uneventful, though you could feel his eyes on you the entire time if you weren't looking. You both were looking through the menu before you got fed up with his staring- he'd been staring, almost studying you over his menu.

"Spit it out, Gojo." You sighed, still holding up the pretence of looking through the menu. You'd decided on what you wanted a while ago, anyways.

"What do you mean, spit it out? I'm not doing anything of that sort." He said, a faux-innocent expression on his face as he put down the menu, calling over a waiter to order.

You finally looked up from your menu as the waiter took them and gave your order, leaving with a strange look at Gojo's white hair and blindfold. Your eyes narrowed as you both waited for your drinks. "You keep staring at me weird. Spit it out already." It was probably just a prank that he wanted to pull on Nanami or something.

"You ever heard of an arrangement called being friends with benefits?" He asked casually, one arm resting over the top of his booth chair, already talking before you could answer. The milkshakes had come by, and while they looked delicious, they sat abandoned for now. "I'm interested in one. With you. You don't need to worry about feelings, anything like that. If you're not into it, then I understand, and we can-"

Your first instinct was to say no. That it was a stupid idea. Your second was that it was a prank. Your third…considered it. After all, Gojo wasn't bad looking. Far from it, to be exact. White hair that you knew was soft because of how he once spent an afternoon talking about his hair products that perfectly matched his eyes. Oh, those eyes. You'd only seen them twice, but they were unforgettable. They had to be the prettiest ones you'd ever seen, a cross between some sort of gemstone or crystal and blue glacier ice.

Fuck it, you're sorcerers. You'd have to be dreaming if you expected to live a long life...though Gojo probably would, being the 'Honoured One' and all.

You were so caught up thinking…or admiring, sipping on your milkshake, that you didn't notice that he was still talking when you answered.

"I'll do it."

"That's totally fine! I don't want to pressure you into anything and- wait what?" You'd never seen Gojo so stunned before. You couldn't see his eyes behind that blindfold of his, and he was ever so thankful for that because he just knew that the way his eyes widened was embarrassing.

You couldn't help smiling, leaning back against the back of your booth as you relaxed. "I said that I'd do it, Gojo."

"Then call me Satoru. It's only right if we're going to be in this sort of relationship," His mouth turned up into a grin that you knew meant he was about to say something weird. "After all, I can't have you calling me by my last name while we're-"

You silenced him before he could say anything else by shooting him a glare. "Gojo, I swear to God-"

"What're you thinking about?" His voice, slightly rough from sleep. He had one arm around you as he leaned down, pressing his lips to your neck before you playfully swatted him away. "C'mon, tell me!"

"Ack- Watch it Pretty Boy! I just woke up!" You giggled, burying your body further in the sheets. "Just thinking about when we first made the deal." According to the man, you'd become a lot more cheerful lately, and you were inclined to agree. Probably because you two started spending time together a lot often.

"Oh yeah? Well… I don't know about you, but I'm thinking about spending the day together. I have a vision and everything." Satoru grinned, sitting up and tugging on your arm like he had that day, when your relationship with him changed. You couldn't help but laugh as he all but pushed you into the bathroom, closing the door.

He'd changed since then, too. Or rather, his behaviour towards you did, at the very least. Sure, there were the times when he'd barge into your office, but you'd rarely see him outside of Jujutsu High. Since the previous November, you found yourself seeing him nearly every single day…and often every night, with the nature of your arrangement. It was almost like having a boyfriend. Almost. Because he wasn't your boyfriend. The way he'd take you out, for dinners and to places that could've passed for dates? The way that he'd make breakfast for you in the morning while you were asleep even though he preferred to just reheat food? How he'd grin just a bit wider whenever you called him Pretty Boy?

It made you almost double guess yourself sometimes.

Because sometimes, you'd wake up to him asleep, his arm holding you close to him like you'd leave the moment you woke up, and you'd almost believe that this whole arrangement was something more. Because he'd sense that you just weren't up to it occasionally, and instead say "Let's just sleep tonight, I'm tired and it's late. You should just stay over,"

And so you'd wish for something more.

It was an impossible dream, really. He was Gojo Satoru, for heaven's sake. The strongest, whose birth shook the world of Sorcerers and humans alike to its core when his eyes opened to reveal a power that hadn't been seen for at least a century. It'd take nothing short of a miracle for someone like him to become remotely interested in you.

You came out of the shower to a new dress laid out on the already made sheets. He was clearly planning something fancy; from the soft fabric to the floral blue pattern that sprawled across the white cloth. It was beautiful, and not the first outfit he'd gotten you, but as you put it on…you couldn't help but wish that he'd given it to you because he liked you. Not as a friend, not as a co-worker, not as whatever you were now, but as someone to love. God, he confused you. He had to know what he was doing, acting like this.

He wouldn't tell you where you two were going no matter how much you pestered him, meaning you had to rely on your memory. He took you from train station before you two finally got onto a bullet train and watched as the city turned into countryside. Getting off onto some station in the middle of nowhere, Satoru grinned as he ignored your questions and linked your arms together, pulling you close to him.

"Sorry, Sunshine, but I couldn't have you figuring out where we were going." He murmured, winking. You hadn't even realised that he'd neglected to put on the blindfold today.

"Pretty boy, what do you mean-" Your voice was cut off by your own yelp as you felt the familiar rush of queasiness as your surroundings morphed.

Of course something felt off. He hadn't fucking teleported them.

"Satoru, I swear to-" Your voice that was about to raise faltered, as you looked around. "…Where are we?" Your lips whispered, mind, body and soul utterly entranced by the sight that lay before you.

It was beautiful. You and Satoru were standing on the bank of a lake that was filled with floating red lotuses, the overhead sun making the water that you could see shimmer with flecks of pale yellow and gold.

"Somewhere in Northern Thailand. Nice, isn't it?" He answered from where he was standing, one arm around you- you hadn't even noticed when he'd done it- with a smile on his face.

The words 'Nice is an understatement' were caught in your throat as you turned to look at him, lips slightly parted open in what was normal to him, but to you was in absolute awe.

Satoru was always a good looking guy, handsome even. But oh, he was radiant. His white hair was striking on a normally, but in the sun on a day like this, you swore that it was glowing like a halo around him. Blue eyes that looked like they were made out of stained glass and long lashes that looked almost frosted in snow that would never melt. You both were in your mid 20's, but the one word that came to mind when looking at him was boyish, and it made a smile rise to your face as he took your hands in his.

"Dance with me, C'mon!" He said, eyes sparkling in a way that made you second guess everything again, eyes widening and cheeks heating up in a way you knew you had many times before…though you were pretty sure Satoru never noticed. You nodded, slightly stunned as he started leading you in something resembling a waltz, a giddy laugh escaping your lips.

"There's not even any music to dance to!" You spoke, laughter seeping through the pauses of your words as you took one hand off his shoulder to try and get hair out of your face from how he spun you around.

"I got it all in here, don't worry!" He smiled, guiding your free hand to just over his heart, and you prayed that he couldn't feel how warm your skin was or how your own heartbeat sped up.

"You're so stupid…" You mumbled, looking away as that smile got to you again.

Really, you had to get a hold of yourself. This was getting unbearable.

"Stupid? After I got you this?" He asked, a shit eating grin on his face as he turned you around, taking out a small jewelry box. "I'd be crushed if you thought that of me after this."

You felt the smooth chill of metal against the skin of your neck, instinctively looking down. He'd gotten a necklace. Aquamarine set in silver, the metal swirling around it in fibers so thin they looked almost liquid in the sun. It was beautiful.

And so, so wrong. Because a gift like this was something you got for someone special, and you…you weren't special to Satoru. Not in the way you wished it to be. Not enough to warrant what you were pretty sure was a custom made necklace that clearly cost more than double your monthly rent

So why did it create that familiar pit in your stomach? That blockage in your throat which didn't go away no matter how hard you swallowed?

You turned around and could barely get the words out, voice quiet as you whispered, "…Satoru, I can't-"

"You can't what?" He asked, a mix between a confused look and smile on his face. "I know I've never bought you jewelry before, but-"

"I can't do this anymore!" The words came out of your mouth faster than you realised. His mouth was still open from when he was speaking, and his eyes were wide in what one could only describe as utter shock.

Silence fell over you both. He was looking at you like you were someone special.

Oh. You'd messed up.

Oh.

You felt wetness on your cheeks. Strange, it wasn't raining.

You were crying, weren't you?

Looking at Satoru, he was about to cry as well.

"Satoru, I- I-" Your lips were wobbly as you slowly stepped away, barely holding yourself together. You were trying to look at anywhere else but him, really, hands fisted in your clothing with enough force to worry about the fabric ripping.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. I just-"

You were cut off by Satoru's voice so quiet yet so loud, faltering in a way at the end that just made your heart break. "Did I do something wrong? Tell me, please. I can- I can make things better. I'll make it better. Whatever it is, just tell me and-"

"No, you really can't." You whispered, forcing out a smile as you wiped your tears, the necklace, as delicate as it was, weighing like a thick chain of solid steel on your body. "Because you make everything better, you see. And that's the problem. I've not been a very good friend with benefits to you, you see."

"I've gone and fallen for you, and the worst part is that I don't even know when it started. I just look at you and feel dizzy with how my heart starts beating so fast."

That's strange. Why was he smiling with the purest form of relief on his face when he had been fighting a look of utter despair beforehand? He had to have lost it. Congratulations, you're to be credited as the person who made Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer, lose his mind faster than any curse. Fantastic.

"That's embarassing. I arrange all this, get you nice jewelry, and you still steal the first confession?" He said, half to himself as he ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe I should've listened and told you sooner."

You couldn't do anything else but stare, mouth agape with confusion as he stepped forward towards you, eyes filled with nothing short of adoration on his face.

"I had all planned out, really. I honestly had half the mind that you already knew." Satoru grinned, staring at you like you were the only one in the world. You were so close to him. Sure, you'd been closer, but everything felt different. Lighter. As if the necklace had lost all its weight since he had put it on you.

"You didn't know at all?" He asked, his fingers briefly resting on your hand before traveling up to rest on your cheek, bring your face closer to him.

"Not one bit." You breathed out, as you both leaned in, eyes closing and lips meeting.

It wasn't your first kiss, not by a long shot.

But you were pretty sure it was your favourite.

Taglist: [2/50, Comment to be added!]

@evilari111 @the2ndl

Credits ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

Made everything myself on Canva! Got images from Pinterest!

© 2024 clxssified-mirxcle. All work belongs to @clxssified-mirxcle. Do NOT repost, translate or plagiarize in any way on ANY platforms. clxssified-mirxcle does NOT consent to having her work used to train AI in any form and does NOT support any form of AI 'art' whatsoever.

[startheskelaton]

I'm still not over the potential fallout of Nightflyers death.

Like sparkplugs obviously going to be upset and maybe even have something else going on depending on the exact circumstances. I have no idea if she'd be involved in any way or see him die or not but, like, they had a connection and she still rather liked him so of course she has a complicated feeling of grief.

Starscream and Slipstream are definitely NOT okay. Probably in absolute pieces. And likely still expected to deal with whatever political fallout comes directly after Nightflyer dies.

As for Soundblaster I can see him being there for Sparkplug and initially not having an immediate reaction himself. Like he feels something like grief but he thinks it's just because Sparkplug is sad. But time tics by and the feelings still there along with the certain knowledge that Nightflyer isnt there and (as far as he knows) will never be there again. Along with the persistent lack of his presence in Soundblaster life.

Depending on the timeline of events I wouldn't be surprised if Soundblaster only realized he was actually SAD about losing Nightflyer and had been grieving this whole time after Nightflyer is revived.

((I know I've been sending a lot of asks and I am sorry. I'll try to slow this thought train down))

So… believe it or not… Sparkplug seemingly had no reaction to Nightflyers death at first.

This was because after seeing Soundwave die, killing Tarn, dealing with Tarn as her new ghost guide, learning from him that Optimus was actually always watching her as a spirit and just now finally gone to the all spark….. She had kinda started numbing herself to it all. Not because she wanted to, but with everything going on, she felt like it was almost inevitable that someone else close to her was going to die, so she was already prepared for the worst.

I feel like this would tie into her getting closer with Slipstream, as they’ve basically switched how they show themselves.

Slipstream is 100% emotion right now, any cute bubbly persona she had perfectly crafted over her life is now overshadowed by her genuine true self. While Sparkplug is basically a wall, taking orders, doing what she has to do and only opening up to Soundblaster on occasion… aka, pulling a megatron. Slipstream would see this and become infuriated, if this girl cared about her brother so much, why wasn’t she acting like it? How dare she ignore the problem in front of them.

Eventually Sparkplug would eventually break, telling Slipstream that she genuinely just expects the people around her to just die because that’s what’s been happening… why would it stop now. In their grief they find a common ground, a desire to just be with their family and keep them safe, from that grows a respect and eventual friendship.

Soundblaster is always thinking of Nightflyer even if he doesn’t realize it. So the moment he’s actually gone… he’s not okay. The one constant in his life disappeared and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s happy to be with Sparkplug but he knows that something is missing, and that feeling grows the longer he’s gone.

So I’m imagining that Nightflyer coming back and Megatron dying are tied in some way. Megatron allows Starscream to end his life so that Starscream has a chance to save his son and bring him back. Eye for an eye, true forgiveness in death.

[lvxiferianemblem]

Lvxi SMC character analysis (SMC isn't one dimensional)

As promised, I'm putting down all my thoughts regarding SMC, including general analysis and personal interpretation. This is just an amalgam of all my recent thoughts, but I'll do my best to make it as coherent as possible.

There's no such thing as 'evil for the sake of it.' Despite what most cartoon villains tell you, there will always be a reason for why someone does things, even if those reasons are as shallow as brief entertainment. In this case, however, I don't think SMC fits either of those bills.

Going back to the origin of SMC himself, we have to understand what exactly his story is trying to convey---or at least to the best of our ability.

It's common knowledge that before everything, the apostles of evil were embodiments of virtues, and SMC's virtue, in particular, was knowledge, before he spiraled into the power of 'deceit.' However, I think it's important that we look deeper into this and what his symbolism is trying to convey.

In the Beast Yeast storyline, we see that PV describes SMC as having lived an isolated path previous to becoming what he is now and that being the figure of truth is a damning one. His statue is regal and important, bearing the appearance of a monarch rather than anything like the jester we're familiar with, and it stands tall like an idol of worship.

This statue is old. And it's quite clear that within an amount of time, something drastic has occurred to SMC that caused him to make that shift, so the question is, what exactly was it? In CRK, we know that SMC essentially fell victim to corruption of sorts, and details around it are cloudy at best and vague at worst, but we have background information to assist with that.

As Dark Enchantress Cookie's story tells us, the heaviest burden that will drive one insane is the truth of everything and the knowledge of the purpose of their creation. SMC, being the apostle of knowledge and truth, would no doubt harbor this knowledge.

But how do you tell an entire society this truth? In a world where no one wants to hear you and nobody is willing to follow you in the first place, how do you convince them of something they don't want to hear? You beg and plead for them to listen, but they only call you a liar. They call you a deceiver and a traitor, and they turn their backs on you. So what else can you do but fulfill their wish?

After all, in the court, the jester is the only role that can mock the king without judgment, because no one takes him seriously.

SMC makes it very clear throughout his story that his values are not only his own and that they're more accurately a representation of other people as a whole. He says that people would 'much rather believe a sweet lie' and that the world operates on deceit. He does what he does not only because it's fun but also because that is the only way people will listen to him.

SMC is a liar and sweet talker, but he's also a performer and an entertainer. Everything he does is based on 'audience participation'. It's a social art.

Isolated by his own talents, SMC inevitably falls into corruption through a self-made spiral.

He sets the stage to sing truths hidden in sweetened lies, and his audience only watches to see him dance, but by god, they're finally looking at him, and everything feels less lonely.

As time goes on, SMC becomes a creature of habit and is no longer a last-resort performer. He no longer forces himself to don the mask of a fool to garner listeners, and instead, he cares only for shallow company to fill the void of isolation he is so desperate to always be free from. He loses himself to it and falls into corruption, becoming more and more willing to lie to others and himself just to keep a captive audience. It becomes about his emotional needs rather than his logical ones, and his power over others pushes him to go to further extremes to keep them close, becoming exceedingly cruel as a result.

Everything is easier if he lies. He doesn't have to think about the truth or the horrors of it, and everyone will love him if he does.

Throughout the story, everything SMC does screams LOOK AT ME, yet also insecurity and fear. He mocks people in deflection when he's panicked or confused, he gets extremely aggressive when people threaten his imprisonment again, and he demeans PV when talking about how he took his soul jam. Everything he does is an emotional reaction to what seems to be very deep-rooted fears.

Despite his confident persona, SMC is desperate for everything to go his way, and if they don't, he quickly unravels under it all. He needs to be seen, and he needs to be heard, or he might lose himself altogether.

In his story, he never even attempts to kill PV. Instead, he corrupts him to see the world as he does, desperate that the closest thing to him might understand what is now his own truth and that, in this twisted companionship, he will never truly be alone again.

Unlike the Ancients, the Beasts were not 'tested' for their power. They were created with expectations, not proof of function. They fail because of this.

You give a warrior a sword and they slay your enemies, give a child a sword and they slay everyone without caution or understanding.

Or maybe they're just cookies idk.

[yesornopolls]

This is not a yes/no poll but I don’t know who else to consult.

My parents and I are not close. I'm closer with my dad, but he doesn't know about any of my interests due to the way me and my sister were taught about 'privacy' growing up. I am not close with my mum at all and I only talk to her when I have to.

When me and my sister were growing up, we were not told any of our parents' interests/hobbies, and were always told not to look at what people were doing. I think this is what led us to both be so hidden(?) from our parents, and is why this problem exists in the first place.

My dad doesn’t really buy anything for me, nor does he try to learn about my interests (but he will listen when he does learn about them. He likes that I like stuff, he just doesn’t actively seek that information out). My mum is the one who will buy me things, but it’s gotten to the point where she is just buying me junk for the sake of trying to keep a relationship with me and then holding that fact over my head (I have told her to stop, she hasn’t).

I want to buy a few posters for my favourite show for my bedroom at my dads house (my parents are divorced). I currently do not have a credit/debit card as I lost it a few months ago, however I am going to go get a new one on the 18th of this month, but I would preferably like to place the order before school starts again (for reference, all these options are online orders).

I have a few options on how to acquire the posters, and I’m not sure how to go about it.

Ask my mum to buy them for me.

She will buy me things I don’t want related to this show for the next 10 years, even after I inevitably lose interest in it. She’ll also be extremely upset that I’m putting them up at my dad’s house, and not hers. However I don’t care about her opinion on my interests as much.

Ask my dad to buy them for me.

I do not want to do this one, purely because of the completely irrational fear I have that he’ll think the show is weird, or violent (again, completely irrational. He is the biggest nerd you’ll meet, he’s probably even watched the show before and enjoyed it. It’ll just be awkward and I’m an overthinker). His opinion means a lot to me, and although he’s supportive of me in every sense, I think he still views me as a little kid (I’m 18), hence why I’m worried to tell him about my interests. I do want him to know about my interests in the long term though, and I want to be able to tell him things about me and not be scared about it, but I’m not sure if diving headfirst into this is the right way to go about it (for my own sake).

Wait until the 18th and buy them myself.

This one would be fine, but I’m a little worried that my dad will be confused when they show up for me. He would also have to find out about the posters/my interests in a surprise! Kind of way, which is a little awkward and it might hurt his feelings that he wasn’t asked. This will also be after school starts again, which I would prefer to get them before then. However I think this is the option that’ll give me the least anxiety in the short-term, but probably more as I wait for them to arrive.

I have consulted my sister and she is no help whatsoever.

Thank you for reading this behemoth of an ask, and thank you for any advice you might have (and I understand if this is not submitted to the public as it's not a yes/no question).

[pinkpastels113]

I offer the challenge: write a short in a fandom of your choosing inspired ny the title or lyrics of either When the Party's Over by Billie Eillish or All American Queen by Ben Platt.

Don't you know I'm no good for you? I've learned to lose you, can't afford to

The reason why Vi walked out of there so quickly, with rain pattering onto her hair and dripping down her shoulders and soaking into her clothes, was because she knows that she's no good for Caitlyn. Caitlyn, and her big, fancy, shiny, house, that Vi has no place to be in, no matter how gentle Caitlyn had caressed her cheek and attentively listened to her childhood story of bonding with her sister.

"What about us?" Cait had asked, with that wide vulnerable look in her eyes that Vi had grown to be fond of. It hurts to turn her down like that, to disappoint that trust and hope that Cait had for some wild unfathomable reason placed upon Vi; but it's better to do it like this, Vi thinks, to be the one to cut it off before things get out of hand (as it always does for people around her), inevitably ending up with Vi losing someone else that she had grown close to.

"Wasn't meant to be. Oil and water." And it was true, too, because Cait is from Piltover and Vi... from the opposite of that. So that is why she left, before Cait had a chance to properly register what exactly happened and catch up to her, because there is a part of her who is (pretty) sure that if Cait did she would fell to her knees and beg her to take her back.

Vi can't afford to lose another.

*****

Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin' But nothin' ever stops you leavin'

Caitlyn is bandaging up Vi's injuries again.

She's scared, to fall for her. Well, even more so, since she's pretty sure that she has already dipped her entire foot in that deep and terrifying ocean of feelings. It's just that... Vi keeps leaving, and Cait couldn't afford to lose someone else that she loves, leaving another empty hole in her chest.

One was enough. One is enough; please, it has to be.

(Her father is slipping through her fingers, too, fast and unavoidable like quicksand.)

She bites her lip, applying the healing ointment after tenderly cleaning up the blood on Vi's knuckles.

"I hate it when you hurt yourself like this."

Vi's huffs a laugh, a leg bent at the knee as she leans against the wall. "Kind of unavoidable when you get into a fight, Cupcake."

"Well, don't get into fights unnecessarily, then."

She tears off a part of her blouse (it was too frilly, anyway) to tie it around Vi's hand. It'll have to do until they return to Caitlyn's place. She's used the bandages that were available on Vi's abdomen and arms. Hefting a resigned sigh, she carefully brushes a finger across the newly covered knuckles.

"But they were saying shitty things about you, Cait. I had to beat them up."

Don't you know too much already? I'll only hurt you if you let me Call me friend but keep me closer (call me back) And I'll call you when the party's over

[zoeykallus]

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Abandonment Issues

As requested by @golden-nyx-ghost I hope I'm not too far off the mark 😅

Warnings: Mentioned Anxiety/Implied Traumatic Experience/Hurt/Comfort/Also; Crosshair (I mean strong language)

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

I had to do a little research on that topic and thought I'd share what I found.

Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. This fear can result from trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.

Most common “symptoms”

worry that friends or partners will leave them

constantly look for signs that others do not really like them

need frequent reassurance that others love them

always try to please others, even at their own expense

give too much in relationships, or have a lack of boundaries

stay in unhealthy relationships due to a fear of being alone

What it can do to a person:

Have anxiety: Both children and adults with fear of abandonment may feel chronically anxious, especially if they feel a relationship is about to end.

Experience relationship challenges: Anxiety about abandonment can alter a person’s perceptions of their relationship, causing them to see problems where none exist. They may be sensitive to any sign of rejection, or find it difficult to trust that their partner will not leave. This can result in clingy behavior, which may impact the relationship.

Communicate poorly: People with abandonment issues may develop harmful communication techniques to ease their anxiety. For example, they may engage in attention-seeking behavior to get the love they feel they might lose.

Engage in harmful behavior: People with a fear of abandonment can sometimes try to prevent their partner from leaving them through manipulative or even abusive behavior. For example, a person may try to prevent someone from socializing with others. This is a form of coercive control.

Source

_____________

AC: Of course, there are different forms of this problem, and it doesn't have to go to the extreme right away. At this point, we assume that no chronic, negative (harmful) behaviors have manifested yet.

_____________

Hunter

He is often quiet, introverted, but unlike you might think, he listens very carefully, is alert, attentive. He does not miss when your mood changes, and you are suddenly unsettled. Hunter reads your body language, notices every little thing. But he doesn't want to barge in, so he first tries to find out what makes you tick, to learn something about your past.

Gradually, he realizes what's bothering you, why you're sometimes so tense and overprotective when you communicate with him, why you sometimes barely let him out of your sight.

"You're afraid," he says unexpectedly.

You look at him, startled; you weren't really aware of it yourself. But now that he brings it up, you feel it abundantly clear.

"You won't lose me, you won't lose any of us. You won't get rid of us that easily."

You blink and say softly, "I've heard that before."

Hunter sighs softly, but smiles at you.

"You will see and learn with time that your past can't determine your future, it can only if you let it. You can count on us"

He grabs your shoulder and looks deep into your eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

You can't help but nod, Hunter's eyes, his expression, you feel so close to him.

"Good, have a little patience, that feeling of security you crave, it will come with time".

Echo

With him, you can talk openly about everything, he is a good listener, and he will always try to find a solution to the problems discussed between you. Echo can well understand what this fear of being abandoned or losing people is and how it feels. As a soldier, one inevitably deals with it a lot. Echo lost a great many of his brothers, not only to war, but also to Order 66.

"Some things we can't hold on to, no matter how hard we cling to them. That's a realization that's hard, but it comes eventually. You have to come to terms with it, make friends with it."

You wrap your arms around your body as if you need to hold on to yourself.

Echo sits down next to you and continues, "None of us want to leave you, but sometimes that's not in our power to decide. Voluntarily, we will never turn our backs on you. But you have to come to terms in a healthy way with the fact that some things are beyond our control."

You sigh softly and say, "I know, I just care that you don't seek distance from me because of me."

Echo laughs softly and says, "You're not getting rid of us that easily."

Wrecker

This cheerful guy is also a good listener and a good distraction. Wrecker can always carry you away and get you out of your darkest worries and thoughts. But he can also listen to you seriously and calmly when you need it.

He is attentive and much more empathetic than some might think.

Wrecker listens and nods in understanding.

"I know it's not the same, but I also sometimes fear losing my brothers. Well, as a soldier, you just worry about the things that might happen in the field. But you can't let that make you crazy."

You smile wryly at him.

"We certainly won't let you down on purpose," Wrecker says with conviction.

"Are you sure?"

"You're not losing us, we're here for you, every one of us," he says with a smile, thrusting a box of Mantel-mix into your hand.

You look up at him and say, "I've thought that about other people too."

Wrecker says perkily, "But we're not other people, we're Clone Force 99, and we deliver what we promise."

Tech

"Change is a fundamental part of life. People come and go, sometimes even those who are particularly close to us. That is quite normal. To be afraid of it is pointless."

You frown and say critically, "Aren't you afraid of suddenly being alone at some point?"

Tech goes into himself for a moment, thinks, then answers, "Not really. It's relatively unlikely that I'll suddenly find myself all alone at some point."

"Couldn't that theoretically happen to anyone?" you ask.

He frowns and says, "Well, theoretically it can, but there's also a probability factor."

You raise your eyebrows.

"Are you trying to tell yourself that right now because you're actually afraid of it too?"

Tech looks at you indignantly.

"I'm not afraid. There's no reason to be, and there's no reason for you to be. Why would we abandon you?"

You shrug, scenarios coming to mind.

"It's enough when priorities change, meeting new people in someone's life, that's often enough to split groups," you say seriously.

Tech hesitates.

"Well… yes, that may be true…"

"But?"

He sighs and says, "If you let that anxiety consume you, you can't enjoy the time you have with the people around you at all. This constant anxious tension is unhealthy"

"That may be," you admit quietly.

Tech hands you back your holopad he fixed for you.

"Here. Good as new," he says with a small smile.

"Thanks Tech, and thanks for listening".

"Anytime."

Crosshair

He has already recognized your behavior and that you cling does not agree with him at all. He can't handle it very well. Crosshair at least tries, in his own way.

"What do you want me to say? People leave us sometimes, and sometimes they leave us behind".

He himself has already had this painful experience, and actually he knows exactly how it feels.

"Hurts like a bitch, but it will pass. You can't let that define your life"

"That's easy for you to say," you sigh, dropping into your bunk.

Crosshair sighs deeply before sitting down on the bunk across from yours that actually belongs to Hunter and looks at you.

"No, I'm not just saying that. I've been through this experience too, I know it sucks, and I know you can get through it if you don't let it consume you."

You sit up and look at him questioningly.

"And how did you do that? How did you deal with it?"

Crosshair sighs again, shakes his head, and says grumpily, "You might not want to take an example from that"

"Why not?"

"My approach was unhealthy, too," he says reluctantly.

As you look at him questioningly, he continues, "Echo would probably say I'm stubborn as shit, but that wasn't it, not quite."

"Then what was it?" you ask cautiously, sensing that you're on sensitive ground here.

Crosshair looks around as if to make sure the two of you are alone. Finally, he looks at you again.

"I didn't cling to other people, but to being a soldier, to my supposed duty. The reason why my brothers and I actually parted ways to begin with. I plunged deeper into it, so deep that soon I was no longer myself. The whole process was painful, for me and others, you should not take an example from that".

You don't say the question that is on the tip of your tongue, but he answers it anyway, as if he felt it.

"Enjoy what you have, hold on to the positive things, not the negative. Deal with it, but deal with it sensibly. You can't force anything, neither that people stay with you nor that old wounds heal. Everything needs time and some work. But you can be sure, we would never abandon you willingly, none of us".

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

@starwarsnerd111

[airandyeah]

By The Beach Merman Nanami X Reader pt.8

My Masterlist for more chapters Here is the Spotify Playlist Still angsty, butttttt.... you'll see. THANK YOU AS ALWAYS FOR READING! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

I don't even have my own attention You say, "Please don't ever change" But you don't like me the way I am Kento just kept swimming, he couldn't take it. The pain in his chest felt like it could kill him. You didn't love him.... What did he do to make you not love him? He thought you did.... Maybe it was the sea witch. Maybe he lied to him. The world tried to burn all the mercy outta me But you know I wouldn't let it She said, "I love you 'til I don't" I am just playin' house, no idea what I'm doin' now He would confront the sea witch. He would do it, and he would get back to you. To the woman he loves. And he would get back to the sun he learned to love. Sun, sun, sun Sun, sun, sun (I-I'm stuck in...) Sun, sun, sun Sun, sun ~~~ You sat on on the shoreline, staring out into the vast blue waters. He's.... gone. Just like that. But why? I was, I was, I was, I was Gonna say something that would solve all our problems Your face was devoid of emotion, except for the tears streaking your face as you looked across the plane of blue. You eventually stumbled to your feet and walked back to your home. Don't you, don't you, don't you know There's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody As you stepped in, the tears started again, seeing the decorations you'd set up just for him. For the man that was gone now. Returned to the sea. If I can get my shit together, I'm gonna run away and never see Any of you again, never see any of you again I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space I always make such expensive mistakes You let out a pained moan, the loss hitting you hard before you inevitably stumbled back to your locked cabinet, to find your hidden bottle of bourbon and popped it open before drinking it in gulps. I hate all my friends, I miss the days when I pretended I hate all my friends, I miss the days when I pretended with you I miss the days when I pretended with you, with you The liquid slid down your throat like a liquid fire as your tears were hot down your cheeks, you began to choke, and sobbed more. If we hadn't done this thing I think I'd be a medicine man So I could get high on our own Supply whenever I can The pill bottle pushed back to the very back of the cabinet made you grab it and take a handful. It hurt. Everything hurt. And Kento wasn't here to hug and kiss it all better. I hope the roof flies off and we get blown out into space I always make such expensive mistakes ~~~ Kento burst into the sea witches abode, the buff man whipping his head to see who had slammed open his door. A smirk fell across his scarred lips as he saw Kento. "Seems like someone's deal didn't quite work out, now did it? She didn't love you, did she pretty boy?" He mocks. Kento swims fast at him, his teeth clenched as he draws a fist back, just for Toji to catch it. "Easy there, easy." he spoke to Kento, his tone still mocking. Kento was about to lose his shit before a small merchild came between the two, his features close to that of the sea-witches, but his hair was longer and his eyes were colder. The son of a sea-witch. Most people made the assumption that children where weaker than adults, but the opposite could be said for people like sea-witches. They were like snakes, an adult knows how much venom to release, however a baby snake is far more deadly, without it's ability to gauge its venom amount. The same could be said about magic in this case. The merchild raises his head to Kento and murmurs "I'll help you, but only to make this fucker mad.", he gestures to his father.

Taglist: @kiel-luvsripples

[lia-linny]

summary: At your birthday party in a club, you get hit on by a strange guy and your "best friend" Wooyoung gets jealous.

words: 1.3 k

When I walked through the door of the club, I was immediately hit by the smell of alcohol and sweaty people. Smiling, I flipped my hair over my shoulder and huddled with my best friend.

Together with her and a few of my other friends, I decided to celebrate my birthday in a club this year. So we headed straight for one of the tables where my other guests were already seated.

Smiling, I greeted them all individually and they all congratulated while hugging me.

The last to arrive was Wooyoung. He was… My best friend? My boyfriend? I don't know. Honestly, things had been a little more complicated between me and Wooyoung lately.

We had been best friends since we were little. But things had changed recently.

Usually, it had always been so that one of us (usually Wooyoung) would start teasing the other and the other would join in. This teasing would change to flirting after a little while until one of us would back out (usually me) and either flee and regret all their life choices or go back to teasing.

But there was one time I hadn't backed down and that had led to the inevitable. Wooyoung and I had kissed. After that, everything became complicated.

I was just totally confused. I didn't know what I felt or wanted. I had enjoyed the kiss. I knew that whenever I was near Wooyoung, whenever I looked at his mischievously grinning face, I felt it tingle. The tingling spread through my whole body until it was unbearable. And maybe I knew what I was feeling all along, but I was just too scared to lose him.

Wooyoung hugged me and with that typical grin, he poked me in the side and said:

"You look beautiful again y/n. Don't you think you should show a little consideration for the others? Nobody will be able to take their eyes off you if you look as enchanting as you do." I turned bright red when he added in a whisper:

"Including me." I turned away. My head was as red as a tomato. Help, what was wrong with me? Couldn't I even behave normally infront of him?

I wanted to run away from Wooyoung, but I couldn't just disappear like that at my party. I would have loved to hide from my feelings.

That's why I suggested going dancing. It wasn't possible to stay together as a group on the dance floor for longer than 10 minutes anyway, which is why we decided to split up in advance. I made sure that I didn't end up in Wooyoung's group.

I felt childish and immature because I wasn't able to face my feelings and just talk to Wooyoung. I knew exactly how I felt about him, but I was really afraid of destroying our friendship.

My friends pulled me onto the dance floor and made sure that I almost forgot about Wooyoung. But only almost. We danced and laughed a lot. After a while, however, we lost sight of each other. I wandered around a bit on my own until I decided to get a drink at the bar. Sooner or later we would find each other again.

I sat down on one of the bar and ordered my drink when a man suddenly sat down next to me. To be honest, he was a little too close to me for my liking.

"Hey sweetie, if you're wondering what my name is, it's r/n." He grinned at me. I certainly hadn't wondered what his name was. He looked at me expectantly. Did he seriously expect me to introduce myself in such a macho way now too?

"Y/n" I replied curtly. The situation became even more awkward when he put his arm around my shoulders. I stiffened noticeably.

"Are you here alone, sweetie?" I was going to retch if he kept calling me that.

"No."

"Oh really? Who are you here with, I don't see anyone?" He grinned as if he thought I'd made it all up to impress or flatter him.

"My friends, I'm celebrating my birthday."

"Ahhh…. In that case, how about another birthday present, sweetie? You could take me, for example." He grinned smarmily and I thought that now was the time to retch.

"No thanks," I warned him timidly. He just laughed and moved even closer to me.

"Do you have a boyfriend, sweetie?" My face couldn't decide whether to turn red or pale. What was wrong with him? Didn't he realize that the whole thing was making me incredibly uncomfortable?

"No," I replied curtly, desperately looking for a way out of this situation.

"So you're single?" As he asked this, he began to move his face towards the crook of my neck. What was that supposed to mean? Should I just lie and say no? His lips touched my skin.

"Yes," the words came out in a panic before I had a chance to think. I wanted to push him off me, but then I heard a voice that made me freeze. "Single, then?" Wooyoung asked Sourish. I whirled round to face him and r/n turned round in confusion too. I saw my chance and took it. I stood up, wriggled out of r/n's grip, and grabbed Wooyoung's hand. Then I took flight, pulling him after me to our table.

None of the others were there at the moment so we settled down on one of the benches.

"Did I interrupt something?" Wooyoung asked, slightly annoyed. I looked at him, confused. Was he jealous? I started to blush. Maybe now was the time for me to be brave.

"No! Thank you for being there. Otherwise, it would probably have taken me half an eternity to get away from there." Wooyoung looked a little taken aback.

"Um… no problem" Okey y/n don't lose heart now.

"Do you want to dance with me?" Now Wooyoung looked completely confused, but he agreed. I carefully clasped our hands together and walked onto the dance floor with Wooyoung. We started to move to the music. Wooyoung twirled me around in circles and we both laughed. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy.

In the colorful light of the spotlights, Wooyoung looked like an angel. That mischievous grin on his face, his eyes that radiated so much joy, everything about him was breathtaking.

"I wish you knew how much I want to kiss you right now." Without thinking about it, I spoke the words.

Wooyoung leaned down to me with a grin but stopped just before he touched my lips.

"So would you do us both a favor and finally kiss me?" he whispered with a grin and I connected our lips together with a smile.

I let my hands rest on the back of his neck to pull him even closer to me. When we broke away after what seemed like an eternity, I grinned.

"Thank you for being the best birthday present I could have wished for." Wooyoung laughed after my comment.

"You're welcome, I know I'm amazing." We both laughed together.

"Just please do me a favor. Next time someone asks you if you're single, say no unless you want to lie to them. Because from now on, I'm all yours."

[eideticstark]

Federal Gambit- Part 3

Warnings: Minimal swearing, mentions of death, minimal mentions of self harm

Pairings: dad!Gibbs x reader, Hotch x fem!reader

A/N: Hello readers, thank you for sticking around. Here's the requested part 3! If you haven't read part 2, go back and do so. First off, I am so sorry it took so long! I just finished my first year of university a month ago. I hate leaving things unfinished so I'm coming back to this. This chapter is kind of a drag because it is all plot stuff but I'm hoping the story will be done with two more parts! As always, feel free to critique me and/or leave requests! Thanks for reading! <3

Tags: @ilovemark1951 @brooke-stinson @jazzymariexoxoxo @flyingmushroomss

Leroy and Aaron quickly rushed to you. The blast was weak but strong enough to render you unconscious. Aaron called his team while Leroy dialed 911. 

“Stay with us y/n,”.

Coma Dream

Flashback to when you were 17

Leroy was about to ship out for another deployment. Lucky for you, he’d be there for the holidays. He decided to take you, Kelly, and Shannon, on a trip to his cabin he built but never got to use. Snow was gently falling. Leroy started a fire while your mom made you and your sister hot chocolate. Kelly draped a blanket over the two of you as you sipped your warm beverage. You turned towards Kelly the same time Kelly turned towards you. The two of you burst into a fit of laughter because whipped cream covered your noses. Shannon shook her head moving out of her spot to get you both napkins. Leroy admired the scene from afar, his blue eyes softened and filled with content. He couldn’t imagine a better way to spend time with his family. 

Once everyone was settled, you all exchanged gifts. Kelly gifted you a locket with a picture of you two sticking your tongues out and making a silly face. Funny enough, you gifted Kelly the same thing. Shannon gifted Leroy a vintage wooden hand plane and he gifted her a small wooden boat. 

The rest of the day was spent enjoying every moment with the family before the inevitable deployment happened. 

As soon as the holidays were over, Leroy shipped out, the family outing now just a past memory.

It was a crisp January morning. You were running a high fever resulting in you missing school. Shannon drove Kelly to school that day and where it all went downhill. 

You saw the news on TV and you couldn’t believe your eyes. Your mom and your sister were dead. You needed to reach your dad but you knew that was wishful thinking. It was impossible to reach him whenever he was deployed. With tears falling fast, you did the next best thing and called Leroy’s friend. 

You hid because those same people might go after you next. In hiding, it was only you and your thoughts. You drove Kelly to school everyday. It should’ve been you. And for that, you hated yourself. At that moment, you hated your father. But, you also knew he was the only one who’d be able to help you.

—

You don’t know how many weeks, maybe even months have passed. All the days started to mend together. You couldn't care less. The pain of losing everything is all consuming. There was nothing worth living for. You decided today was the day as you grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills. One bottle. One bottle and all the pain would be gone. Your hands shook as the pills rattled into your palm. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and felt a stinging pain. Your eyes shot open and were faced with your father in front of you. 

In true Gibbs fashion, his timing is impeccable and smacked the pills out of your hand. 

All your anger returned and you pushed Leroy with whatever force you had. You fell to the ground defeated. Leroy crossed the room and engulfed you in a hug. You broke down, finally feeling safe enough to do so. 

—

Present day at the hospital

“Damnit Gibbs, why isn’t she waking up? The doctor said she’s stable and should’ve been awake within a couple hours after surgery. It’s been a almost a day and a half” 

With a knowing glint in his eyes, Gibbs answered Aaron’s question. “She doesn’t want to.”

“And you’re not going to tell me why.”

Looking at the locket you never took off, Gibbs responded with, “Not my story to tell.”

—

Hotch decides that the best thing he can do for you is to work the case so he returns back to the BAU. His team has many questions but know better than to ask their unit chief. They gather in the conference room and begin working the case. 

Hotch started the discussion with, “what do we know?”

“Y/n enlisted in the marines when she was 18 shortly after…” Garcia’s voice trailed off.

“Shortly after what Garcia?”

“After Pedro Hernandez murdered her mom and sister,” Garcia responded with a sniffle.

JJ added, “Y/n Gibbs doesn’t exist after she enlisted. I’m assuming because Jethro Gibbs has a long list of enemies.”

“Garcia, what can you find on y/n y/l/n?” 

Moments pass and Garcia is puzzled. “Y/n y/l/n barely exists. The basic info is there but everything else is classified.”

Morgan, trying to bring morale up speaks up, “Baby Girl work your magic and unclassify the info.”

“Aw it’s cute that you’re trying. But I’d be breaking a dozen federal laws.”

Prentiss adds on by saying, “So now you’re afraid? You’ve done so before.”

Before the conversation went even more out of hand, Rossi tells everyone to “quit it” and asks, “Who classified the info?”

“Secretary of the Navy.”

The team continued digging into your life to try and make sense of it all. Hours passed and they still were nowhere closer to finding out who wanted you dead. 

A wave of realization put Reid into a ramble. “We’ve been looking for hours and what did we come up with? Everyone who could want y/l/n dead is dead or the file is classified. How can the unsub figure out who she is if even we can’t get into the files? Any government agency would have been on alert if there were to be a breach.” 

It was already late and Hotch decided to send everyone home and they’d regroup tomorrow morning. Right as the team began packing up, Gibbs and his team swarmed in. 

“Aaron Hotchner, you’re under arrest for the attempted murder of y/n y/l/n.”

[frickingnerd]

i had to lose you to find us

pairing: jin shirato x gn!reader

summary: jin's death is inevitable and he asks you to spend his last moments with him. but is there really no way to save him…?

tags: angst to fluff, happy ending, death & revival of jin, confession (jin to reader), kissing, miracle/true love's kiss, wholesome fluff

“you should've told me sooner…”

“i knew you'd make a fuss about it, so i had to keep it a secret. not even chidori and takaya know…”

jin sat on the pavement, leaned back against a cold stone wall. his eyes were glued to the night sky. it was a full moon. he always knew it would end on a full moon.

“you know, maybe in another life, we–”

“don't make promises you can't keep–!”

jin chuckled weakly. you were quick to dismiss any attempts of him to get sentimental with you. but there were things he needed to tell you. if he'd die, he couldn't leave those things left unsaid.

“will you shut up and let me talk for a moment~?”

a small smile lingered on jin's lips. his hand reached out for yours, trembling already. he barely had any strength left.

“i don't let people get too close to me. it makes it easier for them to hurt me. but… i'm glad you and i were close”

you gently squeezed jin's hand.

“don't talk as if you're already dead”

“i will be, any moment now. unless some miracle happens…”

there were no such things as miracles. you both knew that. if miracles existed, you wouldn't be here in the first place.

“but before i die, there's one more thing…”

jin's grip on your hand weakened. he was slowly slipping away. you inched closer, cradling him in your arms, as he lost the strength to sit upright by himself.

“i… love you…”

a smile lingered on jin's lips, as his last words left his lips. and then, his eyes fell shut and he was gone. you quietly sat there, hoping he'd open them again. but no matter how long you waited, he remained still. minutes passed, but nothing changed.

“jin…”

tears shot to your eyes, as you pulled him closer.

“you didn't give me any time to say it back….”

your hand gently caressed jin's cheek, resting your forehead against his. slowly, the tears began to fall. until eventually, you were sobbing as you held him close.

“this… this can't be how it ends…”

when the tears finally stopped, your hand had once again found jin's cheek. you were still leaning over him and as your final goodbye to him, you pressed a gentle kiss onto his lips.

and then, slowly but surely, jin opened his eyes.

“j-jin…?”

you didn't dare move.

“i guess… i couldn't bring myself to leave you”

jin smiled at you weakly, bringing up a hand to caress your cheek. when you felt his warm hand on your skin, you knew it was real. whatever happened, jin was alive. and as you were unable to contain your excitement, you pressed another kiss onto jin's lips.

“that's a nice welcome… i could get used to that~”

jin was still weak, but he managed to smile at you and slowly sit up. his hands found yours and he gently held them. who could've known he only had to die to have an excuse to hold hands with you?

“why are you here…? i– i mean, i'm happy! but– you didn't just pretend to die, right?”

you would kill jin for real if he thought pretending to die would be funny in any sort of way!

“god, no–! i wouldn't do that to you…” jin huffed defensively. “perhaps… it truly was a miracle?”

“whatever it was… whether it was a miracle, true love's kiss or things left unsaid, that prevented you from passing on… i'm glad you're alive!”

jin smiled softly.

“i never thought i'd say this… but me too”

[fachefaucheux]

Why I Read (and write) Romance

Yes, I know, I was doing that WriteFest thing and I really need to report back on it, but, hey. This is something that has been nagging at me even more pointedly than my obligation to give a decent update. So I thought I'd write on it for a little while so that maybe I can return to the humdrum business of research afterwards and actually focus on it for more than ten minutes at a go.

One comment that I get from time to time in feedback goes something like this:

Wow! You clearly put a lot of thought into the world-building of this story! So many details! So much depth! It's just too bad about all that romance stuff, otherwise I'd love this. :(

I'd be lying if I said this didn't make me discouraged at times. I'm sort of stuck in an in-between genre -- too much fantasy/historical bullshit for romance readers, and too much romance for fantasy nerds. But I think that I'd lose my passion for writing if I wrote about anything other than my niche interests. Those being, in no particular order: historical nonsense, the strange and macabre, and idiots in love. Today, I want to talk about the idiots.

I say idiots with the deepest, most heartfelt affection. At the end of the day, aren't we all idiots, at least about one thing or another? And, at the end of the day, none of us are bigger idiots than we are when we're in love, be it with an idea, a subject, or another person.

Romance readers come to the genre for different reasons. Some like the escapism, the fantasy. Others really like in-depth exploration of characters, and a really effective way to do that is to put two people together and play them off each other. But I think one of the key drives, at the heart of it all, is being seen. Being understood, to a certain degree, even if a reader doesn't prefer to see themselves transferred 1:1 onto the page as the main character.

Which I, for one, do not. The more 1:1 the MC is to me, the more I intrinsically cringe away and want to close the book. Much like how I approach dealing with last night's dishes moldering away in the sink, I have to come to terms with relating to characters sideways, sneaking up on the places where we overlap rather than confronting them head on. Romance is a safe place where I can look at those places where I overlap with characters -- both in good and ugly ways -- and process them.

This can be accomplished in any genre, really. But I feel like it's amplified to the max in romance. I think a big part of it for me is the aspect of choice. When I read about parents and children falling away from each other then coming back together, or siblings getting into arguments and hashing things out, there's almost always this sort of air of inevitability to it: this person is my blood, I am stuck with them whether I want them or not, so here's how I'm going to deal with it. Friendship has the element of choice, but it isn't often portrayed with the same level of emotional intensity and commitment that romance is. (At least in the modern, bog standard Western imagining of it. I'm 100% here for depictions of friendship from different times and places and in different scenarios where that intensity of feeling on point! But it's regrettably hard to find.)

Romance is special in that the love interest chooses the MC. The love interest has no inducement to commit themselves fully to this big bag of jumbled up parts that is the MC -- even in the good 'ol arranged marriage trope, there's no obligation to care, even if rings are exchanged. But the love interest sees both the good parts and the bad, accepts them, and commits 100% to loving them, at least once the last page is turned in a happily-ever-after romance. (Which is all I read -- I deal with enough depressing stuff in real life to want to inflict a bad end on myself in my free time.) And it very often goes both ways -- something the MC once considered weird/unsightly about the LI suddenly becomes beautiful when viewed through the lens of knowing them. Or, at the very least, those warts become understandable. Relatable. Worth it.

That choice, that decision to take the leap and jump into a romantic relationship with all its attendant commitments, comes from that place of understanding. Of having seen enough of the MC (or LI) to understand why he must always get out of bed each morning on the left foot, or why he is suspicious of everyone, or full of shame, or why he can't ever be bothered to remember to lock the front door. Maybe these particularities are just something that need to be accepted, or maybe they're something that the character is actively working to overcome. Either way, that action, through the lens of love and romance, is at least seen by the other half of the equation. Even if full understanding sometimes remains a bit out of reach.

And by watching these people bumble through life, coming to see each other's parts and fighting to understand them, I think that readers also feel seen through them, in a secondhand way. Or even come to a new way of seeing themselves, by having that one bad habit they can never quite shake perceived not through the lens of their own self-critical thoughts, but by a lover who thinks of it as a strength rather than a fault.

Of course, this is not the end-all-be-all of romance. Some things are just, you know, neat. Fun. Enjoyable. Make the good brain chemicals flow. But I think what separates the "fun to read" romances from the ones that hit me really hard are the ones where a degree of mutual understanding is achieved between the characters. Maybe I could also achieve this with something besides a romantic relationship. But...well. 

All the romance business just makes the hard work of coming to terms with each other and ourselves more fun.