#it's always inevitable that i lose the people i'm close to so why do i even bother trying

[phoenshire]

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[misskingshit]

𝘚𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘵 summary: where he has an interest in a certain pop singer, and he doesn't try to hide it. note: believe me or not i’ve been listening hip hop since Im like 15 y/o, soooo why not do an M&M’s fic?? Let me know if u want part 2! xoxo

The lyrics of Mr Eminem's new song being mostly about you? That was something you definitely didn't expect.

I get so weak on my knees

Lose all control

Damn, her silhouette

So hot

Fuck bein’ a gentleman

I'm going to fuck her instead

The red carpet at the Grammys has always been a dream for you, you had already won a couple of awards, today... you were excited to be the presenter of one of them.

Best Rap Album.

To say you were excited is an understatement.

You've loved this genre of music since you were a teenager, Tupac, Fifty, Snoop...to name the most classics.

The camera flashes were the only thing you saw, accompanied by many voices that stunned your ears just by hearing your name.

"Y/N! over here!" A reporter called you, without hesitation, you approached.

"Hey how are you?" you asked with a big smile.

"Incredible! How are you? I imagine you're very excited for tonight" he smiles.

"Don't even mention it! I can't wait to call the winner on stage!"

"Do you think Eminem is nominated? He's been on everyone's mouth lately with his latest song..."

Here we go.

"Yeah... well, I'm sure he'll be nominated, I mean, he's fucking Eminem, it would be like a sin if he wasn't, right?" You laughed a little awkwardly.

"What do you think about his last song, about his comments towards you? 50% of people are upset calling Eminem a degenerate..." you didn't let him finish speaking.

"Well...I really like him, I mean, I've always been his fan and it's an honor to be named in one of his songs. Plus I also think that...we all know how he's like, if you don't like his way to be, to think, to speak, the lyrics of his songs, just don't listen to it and that's it, problem solved, I don’t see the point in hating so much on something you can just...ignore" you laugh looking at the camera "Just take things more lightly, not everything is fighting and bad intentions."

You finished your conversation with said reporter and simply headed to your designated seat.

On the other hand, a certain blonde boy was also being attacked with questions regarding his controversial lyrics.

"She's here? Shit, I want to see her," the blonde rapper said, showing a small, very small, smile, turning his head around with the intention of catching some sign of the hot pop singer, you.

"Yes! In fact she will be the one to present the award for best rap album!"

"No shit! Damn man she's here" Em turned around and said to his best friend, Proof.

In a few minutes everyone finished settling into their seats and you both were surprised when you looked at each other, just a few seats away.

You were five seats to the right and three to the back, so you caught him every time he turned his head back a little to look and smile at you.

Until, soon...your moment had arrived, you got up from your seat to head backstage.

By the way, when you walked past the rapper, he didn't try to hide the fact that he couldn't take his eyes off you for even a second.

"And the Grammy goes to..." you created some tension "EMINEN!" You blurted out the name more excited than you should have.

The rapper's reaction might not have been very expressive normally, but he couldn't contain his smile when he knew who would be the one giving to him his award. The rapper and his friends got on stage and it was inevitable that you felt nervous as you watched him walk towards you, with a playful look, as if he knew what he generated in you.

"Congratulations," you whispered when he was close enough to you, taking the grammy as you felt the soft brush of his fingers against yours, he did it on purpose.

You didn't expect him to give you a hug.

"That's all I get?" He whispered back to you, keeping your faces close and your noses touching, his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him as if he didn't want to move away from you.

A great bustle from the public was heard, and it took them both out of the small cloud in which they were.

This was definitely going to stir the waters.

You both walked away, while you greeted and congratulated the rest of his friends (Proof winking at you in the process).

"Wow, shit, this is crazy, thank you so much to everyone who made the production of this album possible, Dr Dre, who always had my back, I will be forever grateful...and my god, damn, thanks to whoever the fuck is that put this beauty in that dress..." he turned to look at you and winked "Y/N Y/L/N ladies and gentlemen, the source of my inspiration for Heat Seeker"

Obviously, you blushed.

The entire audience was applauding, probably already starting to gossip among themselves about the little show between you and Eminem.

Like a gentleman he offered you his hand as he watched you walk down the steps of the stage with great caution. "Thank you," you whispered. “Any time” he smiles at you.

´Til the end of the awards you continued to connect glances from time to time, you also noticed how his friends bothered him every time he turned his head to look at you.

"Hey, Y/N! wait!" listen to yourself behind your back. "Hey," you looked at him softly, "whats up?" He shook his head quickly. "I just wanted to…I mean, normally I wouldn't give a shit, but, I wanted to make sure that the song didn't offend you, it wasn't to upset you…" You interrupted his attempt to apologies "Don't worry, I understand it was just the song, I didn't take it personally, actually, I loved it" you laughed. "You did? I'm glad you're not like the rest and laugh instead of being offended." His attempt to hide his smile failed completely.

It just slips away from him.

Just with you.

A few seconds of silence took over the situation, though it wasn't uncomfortable, your eyes connected and you didn't seem to realize that you had been staring at each other. "Uhm, I was about to go to my hotel," you pointed behind you, "I was gonna change for the afterparty."

"Can I go with you?" He asked you, but before you processed the fact that he wanted to go with you to your hotel, he interrupted your thoughts "I mean, just so then we can go to the party together, if you want" he scratched the back of his neck.

You didn't even need to think about it "Yeah, I would like that" you smiled.

The two of you walked together towards your limo, captured by several cameras, so neither of you doubted that tomorrow you would wake up to a bunch of articles about how Eminem and Y/N left the Grammy's together. But none of you care about it.

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 4

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: Not sure if I'm completely happy with how this chapter came out, but I hope you still enjoy it.

Masterlist | Read ch 3 here

Loki had watched through a checkered screen how you held onto his hand as if he were your whole world. He had watched the love in your eyes and the smile on your lips, all directed at him. And now, he watched as you, in flesh and bone right in front of him, walked away.

There was a foreign feeling consuming his heart the more you distanced yourself from him. It was akin to loss, but how could he lose something that wasn't even his?

He was about to make the mistake of going after you when Mobius finally returned from the storage room he had been talking to you in.

"What happened?" Loki asked with a hint of urgency, his brows furrowed.

Mobius took in a long breath and then let it go past his lips. "She said she wants nothing to do with you."

Loki's frown only deepened, his eyes shifting between Mobius and the place you had disappeared into. If anything, he looked slightly offended. "Why?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious that she watched her Loki die, right?" Mobius gestured around, sounding a little fed up with all of this. "So it's a delicate subject, give her time, don't get on her face, don't be obnoxious, and she'll likely come around and be willing to answer whatever it is you wanna ask."

Loki blinked at the words, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "I'm not obnoxious."

─── ·❆· ───

"Stop looking at me like a lost puppy," you grumbled with a scowl on your features, gripping tightly onto your food tray.

Loki, who stood right beside you, scoffed. "I am not. I'm looking at the rice you're standing right in front of."

You breathed in, slowly, holding yourself back from rolling your eyes. It's been three weeks since Mobius tried to reintroduce you two, and for the past two weeks, you've gained a new shadow. He doesn't talk much; or interacts much with you at all for that matter. But he's always there.

TVA's cafeteria was usually bustling with people this time of day, which was exactly why you always came by at least an hour earlier; but today you got caught up with work and there was no other option than to brave the crowds, otherwise, you'd stay without lunch.

When you'd picked up everything you wanted to eat, you turned around and surveyed the spacious room for any vacant tables. By the corner and near the railings that overlooked the city—or, what you would call a city here in the TVA, because to be honest, you still weren't sure what to name most of the things in this place—stood the only vacant table left, small and round, with two lonely chairs.

You closed your eyes and mumbled a curse under your breath. You made a beeline for the table, and you didn't have to look behind you to know that Loki was following your steps.

You settled into a chair and a few seconds later Loki made himself comfortable beside you. It was… strange, having him around. The racing of your heart every time he was near you was inevitable, but you were doing the impossible to dissociate any feelings from it. He was just another variant, that was it, nothing more. You just wished you knew what his obsession with you was all about, so what if he saw his would-be future with you? That was not yours or his life anymore.

"Your food is gonna get cold."

Loki's voice caught your attention, you glanced toward him with a frown, only now realizing that you'd been poking your food around with your fork for a while, lost in thought. For a heartbeat, you held his gaze, you allowed yourself to drown in those ever-familiar bright eyes that you'd missed so much. But before you could lose yourself in the ocean, you swam back up. This wasn't your Loki, no; you had to remind yourself of it, time and time again. For your own sake, you had to believe in that lie.

For the last couple of weeks that he'd been following you around, more and more you noticed the same glint in Loki's eyes, a mix between expectant and lost. You wondered if even he knew what exactly he wanted from you.

The only answer you gave to him was a low hum.

─── ·❆· ───

The days inside the TVA blend together easily, that was something you learned in your first few weeks here. In all fairness, it's what one would expect for a place out of time. Sometimes the day they captured you as just another variant felt like ages ago. Sometimes, it felt like just yesterday.

It had been difficult when you first arrived here, nearly unbearably so. In the blink of an eye, you had lost your entire life, everyone you still loved and held dear became unreachable. It was either starting a new life here, or ending your life altogether. For some reason, you still felt like living.

The TVA kept you busy then, enough for you to not succumb to panic. As days went by, it became easier; as time passed, or as Mobius would tell you, as time passed differently, you became almost numb to what you'd lost. Almost.

A sigh went past your lips as you ran your fingertips over the paper. Mobius usually had you go over each file reporting a possible new Loki variant. Finding patterns and creating connections they otherwise wouldn't have noticed. You tried not to dwell too much on the fact that you had to use your connection to the person you once loved as a form of work.

Your desk stood by the edge of the library, away from too much commotion, a cozy little space you'd given your own personal touch to over the time you'd been here. A few books here, a small cassette player there, a snack drawer, a sketchbook, a purple desk lamp; small things to remind yourself you were still human.

As much as you could, you made a new home here.

A shadow suddenly appeared over the paper in your hands, you straightened your posture on your chair before looking up.

Loki stood before you, in his dress shirt and dark jacket with the word variant on the back—you'd worn one of those too on your first days here, now that you recall. He held a fresh stack of papers in his hands that already had you internally groaning.

"Mobius sends his regards," Loki smirked as he dropped the papers on your desk.

"Great," you mumbled, sarcasm dripping from your words, "it's not like I wanted to sleep tonight anyway."

A beat passed and you could feel Loki's gaze still lingering on you. From the corner of your eyes you watched as his fingers nervously tapped the wood of your desk. You hated that you knew this habit of his oh so well.

"Maybe I could assist you." Loki pulled a chair from the empty table to your left, setting it on the edge of your desk so he could sit down. But before he did so, he said, "If you'd like."

He was giving you an out from spending time with him, even if that was clearly what he wanted. You nearly took it. Your lips hung open, ready to say something like; I work better alone, or go bother someone else. But your eyes suddenly had a faint burn behind them, your chest squeezing tight around your heart—the heart that still bled and missed him every day. "Knock yourself out," you found yourself saying, without looking up from your paperwork.

Loki sat down on his chair beside you, took a few of the papers in his hands, and for a good few minutes, the silence that lingered between you was, surprisingly, somewhat comfortable.

Stealing glances at you was inevitable. As Loki read the files in his hands, the words started to blur together, and he found his gaze drifting to you. He observed the way you'd frown slightly as you read over the lines, sometimes scoffing or mumbling something to yourself.

You were quite annoying, Loki had to agree with Mobius on that. Stubborn, closed off, and hard to read. If it were anyone else, Loki wouldn't even consider losing his time of day, but each time he saw you, his heart jumped and stumbled inside his chest, he grew short of breath, cold hands turning clammy. It was inevitable. His body acting against his will, as if his soul ached to touch yours.

He had to know why.

"May I ask," Loki began, hints of hesitance in his words.

Your eyebrow perked up a little, but you still refused to look at him.

Loki pursed his lips before speaking, "Mobius mentioned you've been here a while, that he found you could be useful. But he never went into detail." He let go of the papers in his hands, "how did you get here? Why didn't they prune you?"

You visibly tensed. Jaw setting tightly into place as you took in a short breath through your nose. For several moments, you kept quiet, eyes fixed on the same words in the file you held as you considered whether to humor him or not. You weren't sure why you answered, the words simply rolled off your tongue; a subconscious reaction to the sound of his voice.

"It was my fault, I tried to travel through time when I knew I shouldn't. They caught me pretty much immediately." You chuckled humorlessly, stealing a glance toward Loki only to find his eyes already focused on you. You nearly drowned again. "They kept me around because…" You hesitated, and then merely gestured to the scattered papers on your desk; "I know a lot about Lokis," you shrugged, "and they needed help with that."

A small frown came to Loki's features as he weighed your words. He twirled one of your pencils between his fingers. "Why would you travel through time if you knew you shouldn't?"

Immediately, Loki knew he'd touched a nerve. Your whole demeanor changed, it almost felt like a curtain had fallen over you and a whole new person sat beside him. What little you had began to open up, was back under lock and key.

You didn't raise your voice, you didn't lash out. You simply cleared your throat, turned away from him, and said; "I thought you wanted to stay to help me work. So either do that, or leave me be."

Loki's lips hovered, ready to retaliate with a quip of his own, but he bit back any words he might want to say. Give her time.

He nodded to no one in particular, and indeed went back to work.

Later at night, when the TVA was strangely quiet, and most people had already turned in for the night. Loki glanced beside him only to find you drifting into sleep; one hand holding your cheek and the other loosely holding a pencil that had scratched a weird, faint line into the file on your desk.

It felt unexpectedly intimate. Loki glanced from one side of the dim-lit library to the other, as if looking for a clue on what he should do.

Carefully, almost comically so, he took the pencil from your delicate hold and stacked the file you had with the small pile he'd created.

The desk lamp right beside you cast a faint glow over your features, shaping your cheekbones, nose, and lips. Loki couldn't help but notice, that the light also shaped a thin but rather deep scar running from your forehead to the beginning of your left eyebrow; from the look of it, it appeared to have been there for a while now.

Without giving himself too much room to overthink, Loki reached out and gave a single push to your shoulder. His fingers tingled from your warmth.

You stirred awake, gasping softly as soon as you opened your eyes. You blinked several times, willing your mind to focus back on reality.

"I suppose we're done," Loki told you, keeping his voice just an octave lower as he turned his gaze to the small stack of papers. "If you're quick, you can still grab a few hours of sleep before the new day starts."

"Right," you breathed, running a hand through your hair. Eyebrows still furrowed as you processed what was happening.

You tidied your desk in silence, and Loki put the chair he had borrowed back in its place. He turned to you then, half expecting you to simply turn around and walk away. You didn't, and maybe it was a trick of the light, or the fact that he could visibly notice your eyes dropping from tiredness, but your features were the softest he had ever seen them be. A quick glimpse of the girl he'd first seen from the life he was supposed to have.

Loki held his breath. He wasn't sure why, but he did.

"Thank you for the help," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, refusing to hold his gaze for more than a second, "see you around."

With that, you turned around and left. Loki's heartbeat kept the same rushed pace until he reached his own small bedroom.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 5 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

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[lynnlovesthestars]

Could I ask for a Astarion x Durge!Tav

I've done 2 Durge playthoughs and wish , which ever companion you romance has a reaction when Durge rejects to be bhasls chosen and gets killed but brought back to life by withers .

When the party returns to the camp after they discover she was a mastermind in all the trouble .

she doesn't talk to anyone . Especially Astarion ....She has now taken the farthest away bed from the others and waits for everyone to go to sleep and she would get up and leave kethrics netherstone next to Astarion and she would leave to face orin alone .

But by the time they find her they find her after she defeats orin she's Exhausted and bloody they would get there too late as they would enter the temple and get close to her Astarion and the others would hear her go " I reject "and see her get killed by bhaal. His love , his darling was now gone....he cradles her when withers appears to bring her back .

If this is a lot I'm sorry I got carried away . I haven't found anything but one snippet someone made about this scene . And I love you writing and wish to see your take on this .

Sorry im so late, but here i am. Lete but always coming back at a certain point t.t

BG3 x durge HC When you refuse bhaal

The shock of the new discovery downs on the group only when you return to the elfsong tavern. The room is filled with an unusual tension as everyone follows your movements unsure whether they should trust you or avoid you.

You are silent as you gather your belongings to move, your brain swirling with all the new knowledge as it threatens to overwhelm you.

You move to the bed in the very corner, opposite to where everyone rested, to give them space and to give yourself some as well as you had to reweight the path you followed and prepare for your next act.

It is past midnight when everyone is finally asleep and your plan is finally set in motion. You leave Ketheric’s netherstone on Astarion’s nightstand and leave.

Astarion notices accidentally, the clung of the stone on his nightstand somewhat wakes him from his trance, yet only when it was too late, he realizes what’s going on.

The whole group rushes through the city, quick to reach the sewers and delve deeper into the ravines as everyone is panicking. Whatever you were planning, they knew it was going to be disastrous, and they wouldn’t- no, couldn’t allow it. As much as they were shocked, they still cared about you. Yet the moment the doors of the temple of Bhaal flung open, they were late.

“I reject.” You beamed clearly, not an ounce of remorse in your voice before you quickly turn your head towards the commotion at the door, and you couldn’t help but smile as they all stood there, desperate as you breathed your last breath.

Wyll:

“DAMNED YOU, BHAAL” He yelled as he rushed to your side, his hands quickly reaching around your contorted figure, bringing you to his chest. He pressed his ear to your chest, still arched in his arms, trying to find a pulse, life, anything, yet he was met with silence.

“Shit” He murmurs as he curls on the floor, his arms bound to you as if in a curse. He had to do something. He had saved Baldur’s Gate, slayed dragons, minotaurs, and couldn’t save you, his sweet love.

How many people was he bound to lose? Was he ready to give up his dream of a life with you? No, no, no he wasn’t, so he did what his chest told him to do.

It was almost a cry in pain as he sobbed the syllables out loud, knowing she was already listening. She was always there, he knew it.

“Mizora, do what you do best” He spat as the tears still descended down his scarred cheeks.

“Now, now,  pet.” She tsked sadness in her voice. “I wouldn’t rush certain decisions” She warned, aware of what was going to happen, yet incapable of telling him it was already going to be okay.

Gale:

He is rushing down to the altar, trying to stop the inevitable as he tries to cast a spell, Tiny Hut, as if it could stop a God’s punishment. He should have known better.

“Why did you do it, you fool” He cried out as he sunk to his knees, hopelessly placing his head on your chest to feel your pulse, as if the broken bones were not enough an indication of how dead you were.

The second he couldn’t feel your heartbeat, and he could physically feel your body from growing cold, he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, soaking your shirt as he clinged to you as if you were going to disappear at any moment, his sobs echoing in the temple.

“You can’t leave me, you understand?” He sobbed as he fisted your shirt and hopelessly tried to shake you awake. 

Astarion

Shit.

He’s running before you can even fall to the ground, oh he wished he had some magic to protect you from the impact with the floor, but he could barely make it in time to see you eyes turn lifeless.

“You can’t do this to me, you idiot, I love you, you understand. I can’t bear to see you like this“ He cries as he hoists you up in his lap, your head lolling on his shoulder.

“I love you” He whispers as his head drops to the side, the tears flooded his eyes as he rocked the two of you back and forth. “Tav, please” He murmured as if just begging would help.

Shadowheart

They say there’s nothing worse for a medic to see their loved ones hurt, their bodies fall to the ground helpless as they can do nothing but stare. They say that you lose all reason, and that’s what she felt like. She felt as she lost everything all over again. She felt just like when she was under Shar’s tyranny all over again.. lost.

Before she could comprehend what she was doing she was on her knees, your head resting on her  thighs as she rubbed her hands together and channeled all her magic in the healing spell. Yet it was not enough. She tried and tried as tears stained her cheeks as, one at a time, they joined her in a circle, some trying to reassure Shadowheart and some already feeling defeated.

But she didn't want to lose faith, she couldn't. She couldn't just abandon her lover when your love had just had the chance to blossom anew. She couldn't give up.

“Where is that sack of bones?” She wailed as she picked up the beaten body. “Someone call withers please” She'd beg desperately until he appeared in front of her, and maybe there was still a chance.

Lae’zel

You can’t be dead, she swears as you break in front of her. She wonders how you do it, to smile one last time as you bid her goodbye before falling to the ground, as your bones split in half yet you hold back the screams. It can’t be.

It takes her one second too long to realize what's going on before she’s at your side. Her hands barely shaking as she picks you up and cradles you to her chest.

“Bhaal, can you hear me?” She asks in the hollow temple. “You have made a dangerous enemy” She swears as she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “I will find you and I will slain you” She screams as she does her best to hold back the tears and stop her voice from shaking. “Tsk'in'va” She can almost hear the god’s laughter as she pulls you impossibly closer, whispering in your ear. “I will avenge you, my love”

Karlach

Anger bubbles up in her stomach, as she bolts down the stairs. "you can't abandon me too, Okay Soldier?” For once she fights the rage, she turns the heat into despair as she falls to her knees and envelopes you with her warmth. It was heartbreaking, for so long she was Stripped of love, of care, and once again the universe was against her. “ FUCK YOU BHAAL. If you think you can take them away from me, you are wrong.” She pulled you up in her arms rocking your lifeless body as shadowheart approached you two. “I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND TAKE AWAY ALL YOU CARE ABOUT, You sack of shit“ She screamed in front of the hollow altar that she desecrated with her spit.

Halsin:

Halsin can’t believe his eyes; his body moves as per inertia as he rushes next to you, his arms finding their home around your middle as their usual, and yet met with your lifeless body. He doesn’t care about what happens around him, as your companions take out their weapons ready to fight, he weeps, he prays Silvanus, he holds you as if everything depends on your sweet eyes meeting his again, but he knows.

He knows deep down that Silvanus can’t help him, that his tears can’t bring you back to him, and so he clutches desperately to your cooling body, uncaring if his robes soak in your blood, uncaring if he will break down in front of everyone.

He uses all his magic attempting to heal you, he begs Shadowheart and Jaheira, but neither can help.

The room fell silent when everyone but your companions were alive, the echo of the sobs mixed with the panting as Halsin managed to cast one last spell. The crown of roses sits around your temple delicately as he can’t help but sob louder. So many times he had wished he could stop in a flowerfield to make you a crown, the crown you deserved, yet the only time he was able to give you the flowery circlet, it was as you laid dead in his embrace.

Withers speaks and speaks as Halsin weaves his hands with yours, before placing a soft kiss to your forehead. His tears stained both his and your skin as he can’t help but ignore what the Skeleton is saying, whispering prayers, begging to have you back.

“My love, please, please please” He says under his breath, his eyes are completely drained of tears, his throat is sore, his body aches from sitting on his knees for so long, and yet he doesn’t let go. “Silvanus had just blessed me with you, I can’t lose you already” He cries as he holds you to his chest tighter. Then he feels. The slow beat in your chest, your body fighting to get back in its shape, your chest rising rhythmically as your eyes finally open.

“My love” He sobs as he tightens his grip around your frame. “Don’t do this to me ever again” He nuzzles his head against your shoulders, more tears streaming heavily down his cheeks as his prayers turn to thanks.

“I thought I had lost you forever. For so long I wanted to give you a token of my love and I-” He hiccups. “I failed you, my love”

[zoeykallus]

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Abandonment Issues

As requested by @golden-nyx-ghost I hope I'm not too far off the mark 😅

Warnings: Mentioned Anxiety/Implied Traumatic Experience/Hurt/Comfort/Also; Crosshair (I mean strong language)

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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

I had to do a little research on that topic and thought I'd share what I found.

Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. This fear can result from trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.

Most common “symptoms”

worry that friends or partners will leave them

constantly look for signs that others do not really like them

need frequent reassurance that others love them

always try to please others, even at their own expense

give too much in relationships, or have a lack of boundaries

stay in unhealthy relationships due to a fear of being alone

What it can do to a person:

Have anxiety: Both children and adults with fear of abandonment may feel chronically anxious, especially if they feel a relationship is about to end.

Experience relationship challenges: Anxiety about abandonment can alter a person’s perceptions of their relationship, causing them to see problems where none exist. They may be sensitive to any sign of rejection, or find it difficult to trust that their partner will not leave. This can result in clingy behavior, which may impact the relationship.

Communicate poorly: People with abandonment issues may develop harmful communication techniques to ease their anxiety. For example, they may engage in attention-seeking behavior to get the love they feel they might lose.

Engage in harmful behavior: People with a fear of abandonment can sometimes try to prevent their partner from leaving them through manipulative or even abusive behavior. For example, a person may try to prevent someone from socializing with others. This is a form of coercive control.

Source

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AC: Of course, there are different forms of this problem, and it doesn't have to go to the extreme right away. At this point, we assume that no chronic, negative (harmful) behaviors have manifested yet.

_____________

Hunter

He is often quiet, introverted, but unlike you might think, he listens very carefully, is alert, attentive. He does not miss when your mood changes, and you are suddenly unsettled. Hunter reads your body language, notices every little thing. But he doesn't want to barge in, so he first tries to find out what makes you tick, to learn something about your past.

Gradually, he realizes what's bothering you, why you're sometimes so tense and overprotective when you communicate with him, why you sometimes barely let him out of your sight.

"You're afraid," he says unexpectedly.

You look at him, startled; you weren't really aware of it yourself. But now that he brings it up, you feel it abundantly clear.

"You won't lose me, you won't lose any of us. You won't get rid of us that easily."

You blink and say softly, "I've heard that before."

Hunter sighs softly, but smiles at you.

"You will see and learn with time that your past can't determine your future, it can only if you let it. You can count on us"

He grabs your shoulder and looks deep into your eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

You can't help but nod, Hunter's eyes, his expression, you feel so close to him.

"Good, have a little patience, that feeling of security you crave, it will come with time".

Echo

With him, you can talk openly about everything, he is a good listener, and he will always try to find a solution to the problems discussed between you. Echo can well understand what this fear of being abandoned or losing people is and how it feels. As a soldier, one inevitably deals with it a lot. Echo lost a great many of his brothers, not only to war, but also to Order 66.

"Some things we can't hold on to, no matter how hard we cling to them. That's a realization that's hard, but it comes eventually. You have to come to terms with it, make friends with it."

You wrap your arms around your body as if you need to hold on to yourself.

Echo sits down next to you and continues, "None of us want to leave you, but sometimes that's not in our power to decide. Voluntarily, we will never turn our backs on you. But you have to come to terms in a healthy way with the fact that some things are beyond our control."

You sigh softly and say, "I know, I just care that you don't seek distance from me because of me."

Echo laughs softly and says, "You're not getting rid of us that easily."

Wrecker

This cheerful guy is also a good listener and a good distraction. Wrecker can always carry you away and get you out of your darkest worries and thoughts. But he can also listen to you seriously and calmly when you need it.

He is attentive and much more empathetic than some might think.

Wrecker listens and nods in understanding.

"I know it's not the same, but I also sometimes fear losing my brothers. Well, as a soldier, you just worry about the things that might happen in the field. But you can't let that make you crazy."

You smile wryly at him.

"We certainly won't let you down on purpose," Wrecker says with conviction.

"Are you sure?"

"You're not losing us, we're here for you, every one of us," he says with a smile, thrusting a box of Mantel-mix into your hand.

You look up at him and say, "I've thought that about other people too."

Wrecker says perkily, "But we're not other people, we're Clone Force 99, and we deliver what we promise."

Tech

"Change is a fundamental part of life. People come and go, sometimes even those who are particularly close to us. That is quite normal. To be afraid of it is pointless."

You frown and say critically, "Aren't you afraid of suddenly being alone at some point?"

Tech goes into himself for a moment, thinks, then answers, "Not really. It's relatively unlikely that I'll suddenly find myself all alone at some point."

"Couldn't that theoretically happen to anyone?" you ask.

He frowns and says, "Well, theoretically it can, but there's also a probability factor."

You raise your eyebrows.

"Are you trying to tell yourself that right now because you're actually afraid of it too?"

Tech looks at you indignantly.

"I'm not afraid. There's no reason to be, and there's no reason for you to be. Why would we abandon you?"

You shrug, scenarios coming to mind.

"It's enough when priorities change, meeting new people in someone's life, that's often enough to split groups," you say seriously.

Tech hesitates.

"Well… yes, that may be true…"

"But?"

He sighs and says, "If you let that anxiety consume you, you can't enjoy the time you have with the people around you at all. This constant anxious tension is unhealthy"

"That may be," you admit quietly.

Tech hands you back your holopad he fixed for you.

"Here. Good as new," he says with a small smile.

"Thanks Tech, and thanks for listening".

"Anytime."

Crosshair

He has already recognized your behavior and that you cling does not agree with him at all. He can't handle it very well. Crosshair at least tries, in his own way.

"What do you want me to say? People leave us sometimes, and sometimes they leave us behind".

He himself has already had this painful experience, and actually he knows exactly how it feels.

"Hurts like a bitch, but it will pass. You can't let that define your life"

"That's easy for you to say," you sigh, dropping into your bunk.

Crosshair sighs deeply before sitting down on the bunk across from yours that actually belongs to Hunter and looks at you.

"No, I'm not just saying that. I've been through this experience too, I know it sucks, and I know you can get through it if you don't let it consume you."

You sit up and look at him questioningly.

"And how did you do that? How did you deal with it?"

Crosshair sighs again, shakes his head, and says grumpily, "You might not want to take an example from that"

"Why not?"

"My approach was unhealthy, too," he says reluctantly.

As you look at him questioningly, he continues, "Echo would probably say I'm stubborn as shit, but that wasn't it, not quite."

"Then what was it?" you ask cautiously, sensing that you're on sensitive ground here.

Crosshair looks around as if to make sure the two of you are alone. Finally, he looks at you again.

"I didn't cling to other people, but to being a soldier, to my supposed duty. The reason why my brothers and I actually parted ways to begin with. I plunged deeper into it, so deep that soon I was no longer myself. The whole process was painful, for me and others, you should not take an example from that".

You don't say the question that is on the tip of your tongue, but he answers it anyway, as if he felt it.

"Enjoy what you have, hold on to the positive things, not the negative. Deal with it, but deal with it sensibly. You can't force anything, neither that people stay with you nor that old wounds heal. Everything needs time and some work. But you can be sure, we would never abandon you willingly, none of us".

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

@starwarsnerd111

[lina-linny]

summary: At your birthday party in a club, you get hit on by a strange guy and your "best friend" Wooyoung gets jealous.

words: 1.3 k

When I walked through the door of the club, I was immediately hit by the smell of alcohol and sweaty people. Smiling, I flipped my hair over my shoulder and huddled with my best friend.

Together with her and a few of my other friends, I decided to celebrate my birthday in a club this year. So we headed straight for one of the tables where my other guests were already seated.

Smiling, I greeted them all individually and they all congratulated while hugging me.

The last to arrive was Wooyoung. He was… My best friend? My boyfriend? I don't know. Honestly, things had been a little more complicated between me and Wooyoung lately.

We had been best friends since we were little. But things had changed recently.

Usually, it had always been so that one of us (usually Wooyoung) would start teasing the other and the other would join in. This teasing would change to flirting after a little while until one of us would back out (usually me) and either flee and regret all their life choices or go back to teasing.

But there was one time I hadn't backed down and that had led to the inevitable. Wooyoung and I had kissed. After that, everything became complicated.

I was just totally confused. I didn't know what I felt or wanted. I had enjoyed the kiss. I knew that whenever I was near Wooyoung, whenever I looked at his mischievously grinning face, I felt it tingle. The tingling spread through my whole body until it was unbearable. And maybe I knew what I was feeling all along, but I was just too scared to lose him.

Wooyoung hugged me and with that typical grin, he poked me in the side and said:

"You look beautiful again y/n. Don't you think you should show a little consideration for the others? Nobody will be able to take their eyes off you if you look as enchanting as you do." I turned bright red when he added in a whisper:

"Including me." I turned away. My head was as red as a tomato. Help, what was wrong with me? Couldn't I even behave normally infront of him?

I wanted to run away from Wooyoung, but I couldn't just disappear like that at my party. I would have loved to hide from my feelings.

That's why I suggested going dancing. It wasn't possible to stay together as a group on the dance floor for longer than 10 minutes anyway, which is why we decided to split up in advance. I made sure that I didn't end up in Wooyoung's group.

I felt childish and immature because I wasn't able to face my feelings and just talk to Wooyoung. I knew exactly how I felt about him, but I was really afraid of destroying our friendship.

My friends pulled me onto the dance floor and made sure that I almost forgot about Wooyoung. But only almost. We danced and laughed a lot. After a while, however, we lost sight of each other. I wandered around a bit on my own until I decided to get a drink at the bar. Sooner or later we would find each other again.

I sat down on one of the bar and ordered my drink when a man suddenly sat down next to me. To be honest, he was a little too close to me for my liking.

"Hey sweetie, if you're wondering what my name is, it's r/n." He grinned at me. I certainly hadn't wondered what his name was. He looked at me expectantly. Did he seriously expect me to introduce myself in such a macho way now too?

"Y/n" I replied curtly. The situation became even more awkward when he put his arm around my shoulders. I stiffened noticeably.

"Are you here alone, sweetie?" I was going to retch if he kept calling me that.

"No."

"Oh really? Who are you here with, I don't see anyone?" He grinned as if he thought I'd made it all up to impress or flatter him.

"My friends, I'm celebrating my birthday."

"Ahhh…. In that case, how about another birthday present, sweetie? You could take me, for example." He grinned smarmily and I thought that now was the time to retch.

"No thanks," I warned him timidly. He just laughed and moved even closer to me.

"Do you have a boyfriend, sweetie?" My face couldn't decide whether to turn red or pale. What was wrong with him? Didn't he realize that the whole thing was making me incredibly uncomfortable?

"No," I replied curtly, desperately looking for a way out of this situation.

"So you're single?" As he asked this, he began to move his face towards the crook of my neck. What was that supposed to mean? Should I just lie and say no? His lips touched my skin.

"Yes," the words came out in a panic before I had a chance to think. I wanted to push him off me, but then I heard a voice that made me freeze. "Single, then?" Wooyoung asked Sourish. I whirled round to face him and r/n turned round in confusion too. I saw my chance and took it. I stood up, wriggled out of r/n's grip, and grabbed Wooyoung's hand. Then I took flight, pulling him after me to our table.

None of the others were there at the moment so we settled down on one of the benches.

"Did I interrupt something?" Wooyoung asked, slightly annoyed. I looked at him, confused. Was he jealous? I started to blush. Maybe now was the time for me to be brave.

"No! Thank you for being there. Otherwise, it would probably have taken me half an eternity to get away from there." Wooyoung looked a little taken aback.

"Um… no problem" Okey y/n don't lose heart now.

"Do you want to dance with me?" Now Wooyoung looked completely confused, but he agreed. I carefully clasped our hands together and walked onto the dance floor with Wooyoung. We started to move to the music. Wooyoung twirled me around in circles and we both laughed. I couldn't remember the last time I had been this happy.

In the colorful light of the spotlights, Wooyoung looked like an angel. That mischievous grin on his face, his eyes that radiated so much joy, everything about him was breathtaking.

"I wish you knew how much I want to kiss you right now." Without thinking about it, I spoke the words.

Wooyoung leaned down to me with a grin but stopped just before he touched my lips.

"So would you do us both a favor and finally kiss me?" he whispered with a grin and I connected our lips together with a smile.

I let my hands rest on the back of his neck to pull him even closer to me. When we broke away after what seemed like an eternity, I grinned.

"Thank you for being the best birthday present I could have wished for." Wooyoung laughed after my comment.

"You're welcome, I know I'm amazing." We both laughed together.

"Just please do me a favor. Next time someone asks you if you're single, say no unless you want to lie to them. Because from now on, I'm all yours."

[eideticstark]

Federal Gambit- Part 3

Warnings: Minimal swearing, mentions of death, minimal mentions of self harm

Pairings: dad!Gibbs x reader, Hotch x fem!reader

A/N: Hello readers, thank you for sticking around. Here's the requested part 3! If you haven't read part 2, go back and do so. First off, I am so sorry it took so long! I just finished my first year of university a month ago. I hate leaving things unfinished so I'm coming back to this. This chapter is kind of a drag because it is all plot stuff but I'm hoping the story will be done with two more parts! As always, feel free to critique me and/or leave requests! Thanks for reading! <3

Tags: @ilovemark1951 @brooke-stinson @jazzymariexoxoxo @flyingmushroomss

Leroy and Aaron quickly rushed to you. The blast was weak but strong enough to render you unconscious. Aaron called his team while Leroy dialed 911. 

“Stay with us y/n,”.

Coma Dream

Flashback to when you were 17

Leroy was about to ship out for another deployment. Lucky for you, he’d be there for the holidays. He decided to take you, Kelly, and Shannon, on a trip to his cabin he built but never got to use. Snow was gently falling. Leroy started a fire while your mom made you and your sister hot chocolate. Kelly draped a blanket over the two of you as you sipped your warm beverage. You turned towards Kelly the same time Kelly turned towards you. The two of you burst into a fit of laughter because whipped cream covered your noses. Shannon shook her head moving out of her spot to get you both napkins. Leroy admired the scene from afar, his blue eyes softened and filled with content. He couldn’t imagine a better way to spend time with his family. 

Once everyone was settled, you all exchanged gifts. Kelly gifted you a locket with a picture of you two sticking your tongues out and making a silly face. Funny enough, you gifted Kelly the same thing. Shannon gifted Leroy a vintage wooden hand plane and he gifted her a small wooden boat. 

The rest of the day was spent enjoying every moment with the family before the inevitable deployment happened. 

As soon as the holidays were over, Leroy shipped out, the family outing now just a past memory.

It was a crisp January morning. You were running a high fever resulting in you missing school. Shannon drove Kelly to school that day and where it all went downhill. 

You saw the news on TV and you couldn’t believe your eyes. Your mom and your sister were dead. You needed to reach your dad but you knew that was wishful thinking. It was impossible to reach him whenever he was deployed. With tears falling fast, you did the next best thing and called Leroy’s friend. 

You hid because those same people might go after you next. In hiding, it was only you and your thoughts. You drove Kelly to school everyday. It should’ve been you. And for that, you hated yourself. At that moment, you hated your father. But, you also knew he was the only one who’d be able to help you.

—

You don’t know how many weeks, maybe even months have passed. All the days started to mend together. You couldn't care less. The pain of losing everything is all consuming. There was nothing worth living for. You decided today was the day as you grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills. One bottle. One bottle and all the pain would be gone. Your hands shook as the pills rattled into your palm. You closed your eyes, took a deep breath, and felt a stinging pain. Your eyes shot open and were faced with your father in front of you. 

In true Gibbs fashion, his timing is impeccable and smacked the pills out of your hand. 

All your anger returned and you pushed Leroy with whatever force you had. You fell to the ground defeated. Leroy crossed the room and engulfed you in a hug. You broke down, finally feeling safe enough to do so. 

—

Present day at the hospital

“Damnit Gibbs, why isn’t she waking up? The doctor said she’s stable and should’ve been awake within a couple hours after surgery. It’s been a almost a day and a half” 

With a knowing glint in his eyes, Gibbs answered Aaron’s question. “She doesn’t want to.”

“And you’re not going to tell me why.”

Looking at the locket you never took off, Gibbs responded with, “Not my story to tell.”

—

Hotch decides that the best thing he can do for you is to work the case so he returns back to the BAU. His team has many questions but know better than to ask their unit chief. They gather in the conference room and begin working the case. 

Hotch started the discussion with, “what do we know?”

“Y/n enlisted in the marines when she was 18 shortly after…” Garcia’s voice trailed off.

“Shortly after what Garcia?”

“After Pedro Hernandez murdered her mom and sister,” Garcia responded with a sniffle.

JJ added, “Y/n Gibbs doesn’t exist after she enlisted. I’m assuming because Jethro Gibbs has a long list of enemies.”

“Garcia, what can you find on y/n y/l/n?” 

Moments pass and Garcia is puzzled. “Y/n y/l/n barely exists. The basic info is there but everything else is classified.”

Morgan, trying to bring morale up speaks up, “Baby Girl work your magic and unclassify the info.”

“Aw it’s cute that you’re trying. But I’d be breaking a dozen federal laws.”

Prentiss adds on by saying, “So now you’re afraid? You’ve done so before.”

Before the conversation went even more out of hand, Rossi tells everyone to “quit it” and asks, “Who classified the info?”

“Secretary of the Navy.”

The team continued digging into your life to try and make sense of it all. Hours passed and they still were nowhere closer to finding out who wanted you dead. 

A wave of realization put Reid into a ramble. “We’ve been looking for hours and what did we come up with? Everyone who could want y/l/n dead is dead or the file is classified. How can the unsub figure out who she is if even we can’t get into the files? Any government agency would have been on alert if there were to be a breach.” 

It was already late and Hotch decided to send everyone home and they’d regroup tomorrow morning. Right as the team began packing up, Gibbs and his team swarmed in. 

“Aaron Hotchner, you’re under arrest for the attempted murder of y/n y/l/n.”

[frickingnerd]

i had to lose you to find us

pairing: jin shirato x gn!reader

summary: jin's death is inevitable and he asks you to spend his last moments with him. but is there really no way to save him…?

“you should've told me sooner…”

“i knew you'd make a fuss about it, so i had to keep it a secret. not even chidori and takaya know…”

jin sat on the pavement, leaned back against a cold stone wall. his eyes were glued to the night sky. it was a full moon. he always knew it would end on a full moon.

“you know, maybe in another life, we–”

“don't make promises you can't keep–!”

jin chuckled weakly. you were quick to dismiss any attempts of him to get sentimental with you. but there were things he needed to tell you. if he'd die, he couldn't leave those things left unsaid.

“will you shut up and let me talk for a moment~?”

a small smile lingered on jin's lips. his hand reached out for yours, trembling already. he barely had any strength left.

“i don't let people get too close to me. it makes it easier for them to hurt me. but… i'm glad you and i were close”

you gently squeezed jin's hand.

“don't talk as if you're already dead”

“i will be, any moment now. unless some miracle happens…”

there were no such things as miracles. you both knew that. if miracles existed, you wouldn't be here in the first place.

“but before i die, there's one more thing…”

jin's grip on your hand weakened. he was slowly slipping away. you inched closer, cradling him in your arms, as he lost the strength to sit upright by himself.

“i… love you…”

a smile lingered on jin's lips, as his last words left his lips. and then, his eyes fell shut and he was gone. you quietly sat there, hoping he'd open them again. but no matter how long you waited, he remained still. minutes passed, but nothing changed.

“jin…”

tears shot to your eyes, as you pulled him closer.

“you didn't give me any time to say it back….”

your hand gently caressed jin's cheek, resting your forehead against his. slowly, the tears began to fall. until eventually, you were sobbing as you held him close.

“this… this can't be how it ends…”

when the tears finally stopped, your hand had once again found jin's cheek. you were still leaning over him and as your final goodbye to him, you pressed a gentle kiss onto his lips.

and then, slowly but surely, jin opened his eyes.

“j-jin…?”

you didn't dare move.

“i guess… i couldn't bring myself to leave you”

jin smiled at you weakly, bringing up a hand to caress your cheek. when you felt his warm hand on your skin, you knew it was real. whatever happened, jin was alive. and as you were unable to contain your excitement, you pressed another kiss onto jin's lips.

“that's a nice welcome… i could get used to that~”

jin was still weak, but he managed to smile at you and slowly sit up. his hands found yours and he gently held them. who could've known he only had to die to have an excuse to hold hands with you?

“why are you here…? i– i mean, i'm happy! but– you didn't just pretend to die, right?”

you would kill jin for real if he thought pretending to die would be funny in any sort of way!

“god, no–! i wouldn't do that to you…” jin huffed defensively. “perhaps… it truly was a miracle?”

“whatever it was… whether it was a miracle, true love's kiss or things left unsaid, that prevented you from passing on… i'm glad you're alive!”

jin smiled softly.

“i never thought i'd say this… but me too”

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 4

Chapter 3

♡———♡

It was all too routine, and for reasons I couldn't understand, I felt nauseous--.

Kate: ... Since you haven't been teasing me, I've had a very peaceful few days.

I gave him a pointed smile, laced with sarcasm.

Alfons: Well, well, I apologize for boring you.

Alfons: I can assure you tonight will be exciting.

Kate: How on earth did you interpret that as me being bored and wanting excitement?

Ellis: Ms. Kate, shush.

Alfons: That's right, Ms. Kate, shush.

Kate: ...

I was about to apologize to Ellis, but Alfons' unnecessary words made my nausea flare up again.

(Ugh, he's messing with me again)

(I need to focus, I'm on the job as a "Fairytale Keeper"!)

I somehow calmed myself down and switched gears to my assigned role.

Today's members were Ellis and Alfons.

The mission was to stake out the scene of a random slashing incident.

Ellis: It's about time. Let's hope the information Will got is accurate...

We hid ourselves in single file in a narrow alleyway.

Ellis stood in front of me, keeping watch on the main street from the alley's exit, and Alfons stood close behind me like a shadow.

(It's dark, so it's inevitable that we have to stay close so we don't lose sight of each other... but...)

(Isn't he too close...? Am I being too conscious of it?)

The various perfume scents wafting from Alfons behind me made my heart race again.

(Where, with whom, and what did he do... to smell like this?)

Various imaginations started to run wild in my head...

(...Focus!)

As if to shake them off, I desperately strained my eyes towards the street where the incident was supposed to have taken place.

In the dimly lit street, I could sense the presence of several people.

Small children, emaciated men... most of them were homeless, sleeping and living on the streets.

My heart ached terribly to witness these people who had fallen through the cracks of London's prosperity, unable to lead ordinary lives.

As someone who came from a humble background, their situation felt all too real to me.

(This city is overflowing with people, and the wealth to be shared is limited... life is not equal)

(Even so, they live each day desperately)

(And yet...)

I couldn't believe someone would indiscriminately kill such people.

(Why... what's the purpose?)

The disgust I felt when I saw the mountain of black corpses surged up again.

A feeling that was neither sad nor painful filled my chest.

(But...)

Suddenly, I realized something.

(After the last mission, I was so preoccupied with Alfons...)

(I hardly thought about that incident at all...)

(Thanks to that, my heart felt lighter, but)

(It seems like my thoughts were drifting towards the easy path... it's complicated--)

Alfons: Kate.

Kate: Huh!?

My body jumped in surprise when my name was called right behind my ear.

(Ah...)

Just that passionate voice easily triggered a flashback in my mind.

The "night" when Alfons called my name over and over again as my phantom lover.

Alfons: Ah, what a cute reaction.

Kate: Alfons... I was thinking about things, so please don't disturb me!

Alfons: That's why I disturbed you. So that you would think about me.

Kate: ...?

Alfons: There are many things in this world that you can't do anything about even if you face them head-on.

Alfons: Don't you think it's foolish to get hurt by facing everything head-on?

(I feel like I've heard something similar before...)

-flashback to dining room-

Alfons: Well, isn't it better not to know about such troublesome things?

Alfons: More importantly...

Alfons: Kate, is it okay? Not hiding this here?

-flashback to kitchen-

Alfons: Isn't it better to have your head full of pleasant and enjoyable things?

Alfons: Keep your mind preoccupied of me like that.

-end of flashbacks-

(He always seems to bother me when I'm worried and depressed...)

My thoughts stopped abruptly, like stumbling on a stone.

(Wait... but why does he always bother me at the same time...?)

Ellis: Al, Kate.

Ellis, who had been staring intently at the street, oblivious to the minor squabble behind him, raised his voice.

As he turned his face, which had been directed towards Alfons, back to the street...

Man on the street: Guh...

Along with a crushed sound, I hear something spilling onto the road.

(Huh...?)

Several men in black coats are on the street... and a figure collapsed on the roadside.

The men are chasing after the slum dwellers who are screaming and trying to escape, in a grotesque manner.

Like they're hunting.

(Ah... that's...)

The target of the mission - the one we're supposed to capture.

I understand that, but my body won't move, like a stone.

The black shadows attack the slum dwellers in groups, swinging their knives at the defenseless people.

It was literally hell.

Alfons: Hmm, quite a frenzy, isn't it?

Alfons: This is more of a massacre than a random attack.

--CHOICES-- We have to help him

How can you be so calm?

Is this real?

--------------

Kate: Is this... reality...?

Alfons: Yes, unfortunately.

Ellis: Al and I will restrain everyone, so Kate, you stay here.

Ellis' figure, leaping into the darkness, quickly disappears from sight.

(H-Here...? Alone...?)

In that world ruled by violence, there's nothing I can do.

I can't even be of help to the two of them, let alone save anyone. I'm completely useless.

I should stay here--even though I know that, the fear of being left alone makes my body tremble.

(But, yeah, that's right.)

(I can't record the sins if I don't watch properly.)

(But...)

My instincts were clearly rejecting the idea of watching this scene any longer.

Alfons: Oh dear, oh dear, how pitiful.

A hand smoothly touches the nape of my neck.

(Ah...)

At that moment, I realized that I wanted to cling to the touch of that palm, which I had been so wary of.

Alfons: "What you are seeing is a play."

--His voice spreads through my head like an erosion.

Alfons: "That bright red stuff is fake blood."

Alfons: "Tonight, Ellis and I came here to see a play."

Alfons: "Until we return... in this seat, you will enjoy the breathtaking action."

-

Suddenly, a floating sensation washed over me--and I was in a theater.

(...Wow, I've never seen acting like this before.)

I was captivated by the bloody tragedy unfolding before my eyes.

The overflowing blood, the scattered pieces of flesh, the expressions of agony on the verge of death... It didn't seem like a play at all.

Alfons: Hehe... Well then, I'll be going.

It was Alfons who spoke to me, as I was mesmerized by the stage.

Kate: Yes... Have a good time.

(But, where are you going? We came to see the play together...)

I saw my puzzled face reflected in his eyes as he peered at me.

While our eyes met, he smiled and gracefully lifted the corner of his lips.

Alfons: Please give your lover an encouraging kiss.

(...That's right. Alfons and I are lovers...)

Kate: Yes, of course.

I kissed his smiling lips, as if sending off a lover who was going out.

Kate: Mmm...

With a light "chu" sound, our lips touched, and his hand, which had been on the nape of my neck, moved away.

He headed towards the stage, which was so stained with blood that the original color of the floor was unrecognizable--

(Oh... Alfons is going on stage too. Amazing!)

(Wow... Ellis is amazing too.)

(When Ellis touches their heads, all the men's wrists stick together as if they're tied up.)

(Ah, people are falling down just by Alfons whispering...!)

Kate: Even so...

Kate: It's a very realistic play.

Even though I knew it was acting, the angry shouts of the men and the screams of the people being attacked made my heart shrink, and my heart was beating at an incredible speed with fear and anxiety.

When the knife almost grazed Alfons, I felt a chill down my spine even though it was happening on stage.

(I like watching plays, but...)

(This time, I wish it would end soon...)

My heart has been pounding since a while ago.

(It's scary... I don't want to watch it.)

(...It's the first time I've ever felt this way about a play.)

(But--why am I at a play with these two tonight...?)

A sudden sense of discomfort washed over me.

As I clutched my heart through my clothes...

Alfons: Kate.

Kate: !

I looked up to find Alfons and Ellis standing beside me.

Alfons: How did you like our play?

Ellis: Play... Oh, right.

Ellis: Yeah, how was it, Kate?

Kate: It was amazing... but,

Kate: Even though I knew it was acting, I was so anxious that my heart felt like it was going to burst...

I wanted to make sure my lover was safe, so I hugged Alfons tightly.

Alfons: .........

(Thank goodness. I can hear Alfons' heartbeat...)

I could finally breathe after confirming that his heart was beating regularly.

When I tried to let go, Alfons tightened his arms around me.

Alfons: I'm sorry to have worried you.

Alfons: ...Tonight, I'll stay by your side until you feel safe.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 4 Premium Story

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[c0smoshit]

Inevitable future ࣪.⋆ ♡

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 ≫ Link/Reader

⋆ ࣪. ℙ𝕝𝕠𝕥 ≫ Link finds you in the worst way he could've had

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ≫ angst!, death is heavily implied, descriptions of mild gore/violence, blood, brief mentiond of reader with self-image issues, not proofread!

⋆ ࣪. 𝔸/ℕ ≫ I wrote this with BOTW/TOTK Link in mind but again, you can imagine whoever Link is your fav!

⋆ ࣪. 𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥 ≫ 3.314

"Link stop"

Your pained words ringed through his slightly bleeding ears, the grip he had on his sword intensifying.

He felt as if his head was going to explode, veins pumping furiously around his brain. His skin was sweaty too, trying to regulate the temperature of his warm body. A dificult task thanks to his lively and irregular breathing and of course, his anxious thoughts.

Your hand fell on his shoulder as he felt the dew surfacing the grass bellow him, soaking lightly his clothed knee. His whole body was on fire, lungs screaming for air and his scraped hands begged him not use them anymore tonight.

But he didn't want to lose you either.

Your worn out clothes and the cut you had on your arm begged him to do something about it too. He felt so guilty at the sight of you hurt and exhausted, he should've heard your yells before, he should've came sooner.

And now that he was thinking about you, he saw your lips moving again, the same worried frown rested on your brows. What were you saying again...?

"Link, please don't do this"

Right, he had expected you to say something like that, but he didn't listen to you. You always did that, he thought, putting other people's lifes on top of your own one.

But putting aside his own fierce mindset, you were worried sick about him, his torn off tunic and his dirtied up boots only boosting up your concerns. His stubborn demeanor sometimes pissed you off, he had to get what he wanted, more in situations like the one you were in right now.

But he wasn't other people, he was your friend, your best one.

He had almost spent his whole life protecting and saving people, but you were above those random travelers or villagers. Why wouldn't he help you out?

Well, maybe you were the stubborn one, maybe after all the things you had done to help other people, maybe you did deserve some help too.

But you were fine on your own, fine until a big, strong and not so friendly Lynel had crossed your path.

"Please"

"Fuck"

Your muttered out cuss only alerted the wild Lynel more, his head perking up to where you were hiding.

His slow but confident, powerful steps inched closer and closer and you didn't need to look at him to know that he was just mere meters from the tree you were hidden in.

You questioned yourself what were you more scared of, it's face and strong horse features or it's steps. Anxiety bubbled up inside your stomach, proliferating to your legs and arms, keeping them in place. You didn't know were it was right now, but you surely knew that if you took a glance, you wouldn't be able to tell others what had happened.

You also could hear the metal clanking sound of the shield it was carrying around, or maybe it was a bow. A girl from the zora domain always talked to you about the Lynels and how she needed to scare off her brothers before they did anything stupid. She told you that they always had a big bow resting on their backs, they weren't only good when they kept distance from enemies, they were fast and really strong in close encounters too.

After that talk you had figured out that you didn't want to ever see or hear a Lynel near you.

But today must be your worst lucky day.

It was so close you could hear it's breath, it's nose sniffling and searching for anything strange. Your heart almost beat off your chest when you saw it's big hairy hand from the corner of your eye.

That's it, I'm going to die.

You pictured yourself in every way it could've ended your life, grabbing you by your throat and tearing you apart with it's hands, using one his his enormous arrows, stepping on you...

Then. . . Silence

The sound of the quiet rivulet in front of you mixed with your laboured breathing was the only thing that you could hear right now.

Strangely you thought about how calm the night was today, the shiny and shy fireflies flew around the valley in front of you. The breeze hitting the rocks on the mountain next to you, creating a curious sound.

You had always loved nights in Hyrule, you loved when you and your mother walked around and watched the fishes under the moonlight on the pond in front of your house. You loved your mother and all the stuff she had taught you.

Then she would tuck you inside your warm and cozy bed after a long cold day, warming up your feet with her hands. She would always tell you a different story every night before a kiss was planted on your forehead with a sweet smile.

Why were you thinking about your mother?

You read that people's lasts thoughts before dying were related to their family, friends, lovers or pets too.

Maybe you were going to die after all.

But you haven't said goodbye to Link, you haven't invited him to a homemade meal like you promised to after he had cooked you dinner a few days ago.

You haven't told him to be careful like you always did before he stepped outside of your door.

Maybe you shouldn't have followed your insticts, stopping dead on your tracks when you heard it's characteristic stride. But you didn't, and by your stupid past decisions you were here now, trapped without any posible escape that didn't involve your death.

The grip you had on your bow had tightened, the hand you previosly saw being harshly replaced by some furious, red eyes.

You were caught.

Your legs didn't budge and theirs didn't too, at least not when he didn't spot the weapons you had. You saw him back away, a long sigh you were forcing not to let out of your mouth finally sliping off your chest.

Relief washed all over your body, carefully taking away all the stress from the prior situation.

But the warm waterfall lasted just a few seconds.

The canopy fell almost in slow motion in front of you, the violent air blast passed through your head and into the cold rivulet. You froze on spot once again, you saw the tree sliced in half in front of you.

Had whatever weapon he used, sliced a whole trunk of a tree?

You had no doubts he could, and ceirtainly would, slice your head off in an instant. Your heart was weirdly calm, your hands weren't shaking either, almost as if you were ready for your terrible end.

Your mind pictured him, his hands caressing your bow with grace as he taught you, he had strong hands. Your eyes couldn't leave his fingers, the thought of how skilled they were passed through your tired brain.

A scream finally ripped from your throat, little blue sparrows flying off in front of your feet.

Shit.

Your body was moving without the intervention of your anxious brain, rolling to your right side you managed to dodge his furious attack.

The moon rested heavily behind him, so big you thought it might have fallen from the starry sky.

Whiteish fur mixed with angry purple stripes, it's exotic form welcoming you to the dangerous nights of Hyrule. Red eyes staring almost confusedly at you, trying to read your next move.

. . .

"Hey!"

A splash of cold water awoke you from your daydreams, you flinched on spot before turning to the michevious smirk that was staring at you.

The water calmly soothed your legs, too cold to submerge the rest of your body yet. Stripped down to your underwear you had pleaded to Link to let you swim on a beautiful lake topped with a gorgerous waterfall, to console your body from all the movement it had done today.

But of course he was there to mess up your relaxation.

Sun kissed skin and soaked piercings hid the waterfall from your eyes, standing tall in front of you.

"Stop"

His lifted arms revealed his intentions, slowly approaching your dry and comfortable skin. Backing up as much as you could, your pleading face didn't break down his playful one.

You turned your head to see if you were going to bump into a rock, admiring the trees that surrounded the semi-hidden paradise.

That was your terrible mistake.

Two strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist, lifting you up until your face was met with his back, thighs resting on his chest. His colder and wet skin made you shiver, trying to squirm your way out of his grasp.

But of course he was stronger and faster than you.

"Lin-!"

Your yelp died down, drowned by the water as threw himself into it again, this time with your pleasant company. You slid off his grasp, ending up bellow him.

His hands rested on your biceps, your torso floating beside his own one. Your own hands held his nape and his shoulder for dear life, taking a big, choked out breath.

"You're a jerk"

A chuckle escaped his lips and as if someone had punched you with a knucle full of reality, you took in the state you two were in right now.

His sleepy muscular frame held your body close to his, teeth flashing as he chuckled.

He was shirtless.

You had seen him plenty of times in that state, normally his Gerudo vests left little to imagination when he showed them off to you.

And you actually found that really cute about him, he liked showing you whatever he had bought that day, from gorgerous opal earings to fierce armours.

But this time it felt different.

The warmth he naturally emited from his body warming you up from the cold water, both of you soaked and making skin to skin contact.

You needed to get out of there or you were going to explode.

But you were too comfy on his arms, unconciously leaning further into him. You noticed the little red hues on his cheeks, matching yours perfectly.

Maybe you could rest there for a few more minutes, just some silly quick minutes.

. . .

You missed that warmth, a warmth that could lasts for days on your skin, almost as if your mind didn't want to let go of the comfort.

Comfort you seeked on cold nights like this, rushed steps towards his house, curious eyes trying to adjust to the dimness of the night. Your breath fanned on his window, knees a bit scraped as you had just climbed his hard wall.

He was about to go to bed as the good, young man that cared about his health he was. But your knock on the glass inturrumpted his routine.

His senses were highened again and he quickly tried to figure out if someone had broken in. But when he saw your face on his window he nearly had a heart attack.

"Hey"

You whispered out as he opened the window, your smile never failing to melt down his limbs, all the stress he had acumulated inside him fading away just by your sight.

"I can't sleep"

Just as he had thought.

"And I see you're not asleep yet so..."

He was indeed half asleep.

But he fought his urges to fall right on your knees to sleep, you were way more interesting than whatever dreams he had waiting for him that night.

"Do you wanna go for a walk?"

And that's how he ended up with you by his side tonight, his sword resting heavily on his back just in case something happened.

Cold, muted grass bellow your feet, the air striking nicely through your hair all the way down to your feet.

You needed to feel alive again, the silence of the night consumed you.

You loved the loud echo of your shoes compared to the serene demeanour of your surroundings. It was almost as if the world changed when the sun dissapeared, new animals that were too shy to come out, flowers that only bloomed when it was dark.

You loved all of those little Hyrule things.

But on top of all of them, you loved him.

Those words seemed to have lost their potential by all the times you had repeated them inside your head, but they were true.

He was your hero, your shoulder to lean on whenever you wanted, a puppy that loved when you let him place his head on your lap, your personal knight.

You adored the dexterity he had with his multiple weapons, his easiness to use whatever his eyes had landed on to fight and end up victorious. His bow, his abilities were incredible to watch.

"Look"

Your muttered words almost weren't percieved by his ears, but his training didn't betray him.

"They're gorgerous"

His eyes then saw what you were chit chatting about, his pupils immediately shrinking slightly by it's lighting.

A blupee was jumping around some fireflies, the whole scene causing a disrupt of the natural darkness. But it looked so volputeous, you were thankful you weren't sleepy that night.

Well, he thought so too but after a while he felt something getting heavier on his shoulder.

Your face was crushed by his shoulder and your legs had gave up from your squatted position. But before your head could make contact with the floor, he stopped the movement with his palm placed on your forehead.

You had fallen deeply on top of him.

Soon his legs gave up too, afraid to move too much but not enough to sit appropriately. He relaxed to the sound of the quiet hops and your silent snores.

Your lightened face whenever you saw the smallest things were his will to live, to fight for Hyrule.

He liked your nose, the way it would scrunch up whenever you had smelt something you didn't like. He liked your cheeks too, maybe that was the reason he liked to tease you, waiting impatiently for them to turn red.

He loved what your eyes didn't.

He didn't understand much things about the world he was standing on, but on top of all of them, he didn't understand the way you viewed yourself in the mirror.

How could a human being, so gorgerous like you, disregard such beautiful features?

He often found yourself covering your smile when you laughed and was mad he couldn't see your cute teeth. Or whenever you tried to hide your body from other's eyes, he was absolutely clueless why you did so.

"You idiot"

Unfortunately, your sweet voice was wasted away with those nasty words. His head hurt, everything hurt.

He first saw your rosy cheeks and then your glossy eyes and although he felt guilty he had made you cry, he felt more guilty for finding that look on your face absolutely stunning.

His body enveloped itself with pain once again and he asked himself if he had passed out on top of you. Maybe that was the reason your pretty lips were quivering as you looked at him.

Your softness narcotized him back to sleep, but your pained voice kept him from doing so. His head felt warmer than the rest of his body and when he looked around, you were there, holding his head so tenderly he thought he had died right there.

The rest of his body was soaked up by the night grass, your knees touching his left tricep.

He then flashed back to what had happened, your worn out body ready to be squashed by a huge broadsword. But his shield was there to take the hit instead, his heart dropping down to his feet when he saw the blood on your face.

His mind wouldn't stop tormenting him about how he should've been there sooner, he was angry both at you and at himself. How could you risk your life like that?! What if he wasn't there that evening?

He couldn't bring himself into thinking further about that horrible topic, he was happy he had saved you from that stupid lion-looking monster.

"Don't you dare passing away on me again"

He smiled, the most truthful smile you had ever seen on a man's face. His skin was dirtied up, his calloused hands rested almost sinfully on top of the pure grass.

And yet you didn't seem to care about it all.

He could be covered in mud, dirt or whatever he had fallen on that day you were still going to happily hold him in your arms for as long as you both pleased.

Your love for him could break walls, thick tension in the air whenever you hugged him, held his hand.

Your fingers found his cheekbone, pressing his face so it was pressed on your stomach as you let some few bitter drops fall from your eyes.

You were too scared you could've lost him today, die without telling him how much love you had waiting for him with open arms.

Yet it was the most beautiful scenario you could've wished for.

The fear of loss, you weren't going to sit on that grass like you were now ever again.

Even the goddess was jealous of you, the way you lived like it would be your last day breathing, loving.

How you fought, spending your days with the anxiety of nostalgia and the inevitable future.

Your passion, love, living your life at it's fullness.

You then found yourself with your head on his chest, listening to his slowed down heart. It should have calmed you down, but it only made the bubbling sensation inside your guts grow.

Your hands were on fire, veins still pumping furiously thanks to the attack from earlier. But you didn't care, streams of salty water slid down your cheeks, hiccuping on his chest with no reason to.

He was alive, breathing.

However, you didn't seem to stop, the more you thought about him, the more you let yourself fall appart on his chest.

"I'm fine"

His voice was deep, months had passed since the last time you had heard it. His palm soothed your back and that only made your whimpers louder.

You were probably one of the few people he let himself talk freely with, that made your heart shrink hard. But the reason why he couldn't talk with anybody made your heart nearly explode.

He was expected not to feel.

He couldn't let himself slip out a scared gasp, what would Hyrule think about a scared hero?

Let alone crack a smile, Hyrule wouldn't want some dumb, crackhead as a saviour right?

He was so used to it that he barely even talked to you, it would be disrespectful. And, Hylia, how you missed his voice. You would pay a thousand rupees only to get him to talk to you, soothe you with his honeyed tone.

Such a pretty mouth that was wasted away by his strict norms.

"You'll be alright, I swear"

Your puffy eyes looked at his half lidded ones before both of your hands brought his attention to you.

"I'm going to run you a hot bath, you'll be alright"

You continued talking, trying to calm him down but in reality you were trying to soothe your own nerves.

When death took your hand, you would held him with your other one. Promising you would find him in every life time.

"Please stay with me"

[vindicated-truth]

Hi @rootofallevil! I hope you don't mind if I answer both of your replies to my post here 🫶🏻 Because as always the reply section definitely won't be enough for all my rambling 😅

First, about Dongsik letting go of Joowon and allowing him to walk away—

I've been marinating over a specific thought in my head for a while now, and I think your comment is the perfect jump off point to address it.

In connection to how I've always been saying that Dongsik's strength lies in how he fiercely protects the people he loves, he does have tendencies to go overboard very similar to the way Do Haewon does (as I've addressed here), and that the only thing separating Dongsik from Haewon is that Dongsik never wants anyone else to be hurt by his actions, and always regrets it when he does; whereas Haewon doesn't care if the whole world burns as long as the person she loves is safe.

I think that part of that protectiveness inevitably morphs into possessiveness at times, which is sadly what the trauma of (multiple!!) losses did to Dongsik: he has to keep all his loved ones close, because he's terrified that he might lose them, too.

And I think one of the ways that manifested in a way he never expected to end up badly was the way his protectiveness became borderline possessive over Minjeong.

It's not the possessiveness by that of a jealous lover, but one that is, again, remarkably similar to Do Haewon: the possessiveness of a parent over their child with the belief that only they can keep them safe.

It manifested in the way he resorted to tracking Minjeong down using illegal means, and then traveling all the way to Seoul just to bring Minjeong back. The intention to protect her is apparent, and again, it stems from Dongsik's terrible fear of losing the people he loves; however, Dongsik didn't even stop to think that maybe, just maybe, there's a reason Minjeong is deliberately choosing to stay away from home—that there's a very specific reason she's avoiding her own father.

Dongsik, unbeknownst to him, brought Minjeong back to her would be killer—the one she was trying to escape from in the first place.

Bear in mind too that Minjeong is already an adult by this point, and capable of making her own decisions, but in this specific instance it's as if she was infantilized by Dongsik. Again, all with good intentions of a loving and doting father, but already with the shades of possessiveness incredibly similar to Haewon's infantilization of Jeongje—who was already 40 years old.

The reason why I'm bringing this up is I think that through the course of the story, Dongsik has come to realize this too, about himself, especially after everything he's come to discover about Haewon and Jeongje too: that perhaps he is seeing shades of that overbearing love apparent in himself, too.

And that, I think, is why he is making the choice—whether subconsciously or deliberately—to not make the same mistake when it comes to Joowon.

He is trying his best now for his love for Joowon to be selfless, and more than anything: to be hinged on absolute trust in Joowon (as I've mentioned here, too).

To be someone that Joowon never had before: someone completely believing in him, and believing him.

And as for your other question, regarding the reunion at Manyang and whether Joowon would be coming back—

The thing is, I actually believe both Dongsik and Joowon made the best decision to go separately on their own ways first, just because I think they were both starting to realize that even in such a short period of time, their relationship with each other has gotten so immensely intense that there are shades of codependency already—which is unhealthy in any relationship.

I think at this point it's important for them to establish their individuality and their individual purpose now that Dongsik and Joowon are now finally freed from the shadow of Lee Yuyeon and Han Kihwan respectively. In many ways, this is finally the chapter of the true beginning of their lives: for Dongsik to discover who he is without the shadow of his sister's death looming over him, and for Joowon to discover who he is without the shadow of his father tormenting his every step.

This is the chapter of their lives where they're finally free to be who they really are, and to finally freely live, without all of these shackles holding them back.

And I think that once they complete that journey of finding themselves, they can come back to each other as a completely whole person in themselves, without necessarily needing the other to "fulfill" their needs.

I think that this is the only way they can ever truly make each other happy, and be truly happy by each other's side. ❤️

[noaltbruh]

How about 🍨 and 🌺 for Narancia, Bruno, and Abbacchio, please?

Yes! More requests with them! 😊 You don't know how happy I am that you asked for these :)

🍨 Are they more chill about their relationship or a bit more possessive towards their S/O?

Uhm...Abbacchio is rather...Contradictory when it comes to this, to be honest.

This is because, like I mentioned before, he has an hard time fully accepting that he's fallen for someone, even after confessing to you for a bit, and he categorically refuses to come off as clingy or obsessive.

On the other hand...This man is deeply afraid of losing you. He's already lost someone who was dead to him, and he would never forgive himself if the same thing were to happen to you.

So, at the end of the day, he WILL be a bit possessive, but never in an explicit way. So, you may either not notice, or if you do, he'll be able to deny everything.

~~~~~~~

Something Bruno truly values in a relationship is reciprocated trust and respect. He feels safe in being your partner, as he deeply believes you'd never leave him, and he'd never leave you, so he doesn't feel the need to be obsessive over you.

Besides, he cares about group harmony, tries his best to act as a mediator and make everyone get along. He wants you to care about the ones around you too and doesn't wish to only keep you to himself, despite how tempting it may seem sometimes.

Although Bucciarati does check on you quite often, whether it's through messages or phone calls, if he gets even a minute of break from an important...Ahem, business trip. He has your safety at heart and worries about you a lot when he's far away.

He's watching over you even from a distance, and rest assured that he'll fill you with attention any time he can actually be close to you.

~~~~~~

Listen, I'm not going to deny it: Narancia is the sweetest, cutest, most affectionate boyfriend you'll ever find, but he will be very clingy and rather possessive too from time to time. He's this way without even realizing it, he just cares about you more than anything else.

Once you become part of his life, he can hardly even imagine a world that you're not in. He'll go in full ass denial if you were to brought up even the remote possibility of the two of you not being together forever.

Needless to say, it obviously comes from his trauma. This boy will do anything to see you smile, to always make sure that you're cared for and that you have some company when you're feeling down...Or you know, just in general. He just...Wants to be with you, he's being left behind and abandoned by too many people, his mind just can't stand the thought of losing you too.

If he does get a bit overbearing...Try to talk things out. Narancia will always be willing to listen, even if it may hurt at first. But at last, he'll realize that if he really wants you to be happy, you're going to need some space too.

🌺 Do they believe they deserve their S/O or sometimes feel like the latter is too good for them?

Do you really think Abbacchio thinks he deserves anything or anyone that brings him joy?

No, absolutely not.

This man genuinely does not understand why you'd ever choose to be with him. I'll tell you more, he wouldn't get why you would even just talk to him, when he specifically acts to keep everyone away and not let anyone get close.

Why do you insist in being with him so bad, no matter how much he had tried to push away, and even knowing about his self destructive habits? He thinks you deserve someone more...Functional than him, you could say.

What amazes him the most, is how you still remained by his side after eventually finding out about his past. He thought that telling you this, you would have inevitably started to see him as a horrible person...Yet you didn't.

And while he may be taken aback by this decision...Deep down, he couldn't be happier you took it.

~~~~~

I think that with Bruno such problems would hardly ever emerge. He does his hardest to be a good partner to you despite his job and considers you his equal, he thinks you're both deserving of love.

Don't take this the wrong way though, it's not that he doesn't think you're special, he really does. He just feels a very deep respect for you and is faithful you feel the same way. He's truly glad to have you by his side, but he also sees that you seem rather happy with him, so he doesn't think he needs to worry about him being "undeserving" of your love...

...Most of the time. This is because Bucciarati's heart can't help but ache every time he tells you he won't come back that night, or that he doesn't know when he'll he able to leave his office. He knows it pains you too, and this is the only time he wishes he was someone...A bit different, someone who could give you all the affection you could ever wish for.

Please, show him your patient side and that you're not mad at him, when he comes back. It'll be more enough to soothe his worries away.

~~~~~

Narancia abandonment and self-esteem issues Ghirga? Ohh boy you're in for a ride-

This boy doesn't really...Feel very deserving of love in general. He's deeply scared and scarred by negative experiences. Despite how much he doesn't want to think about it, he does live in fear of you growing tired of his presence, leaving to find someone better.

And to be honest...He wouldn't even blame you. He knows he's not as charming as Bruno, as flirty as Mista, as bright as Fugo or as tough as Abbacchio. Why would you...Why would you ever choose him? He doesn't think he has anything to offer you that you wouldn't be able to find somewhere else. He's aware that he can be childish and annoying, even if he doesn't mean to be.

Some cuddles and comfort words will be more than enough to distract him from these thought though. When you're there, he just knows that everything is okay.

[wanzerous]

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲.

loss. you always lose something. people have a habit of losing things . . . their phones, their keys, their wallets. some, their sense of humanity, or a loved one. things began to spiral the moment you lost your father due to gang violence. since then, you were not big of gangs. to you, they were all horrible. however . . . there a specific gang that made you question your feelings. the tokyo manji gang worked their way into your life and you weren't sure if this was a blessing or a curse . . . would you lose them, or would they inevitably lose you?

𐙚⋆.˚ CHAPTER ONE.

why is the phrase " i'm sorry " so common? why is it overused?

suddenly you jolted your eyes open and looked around quickly. your hands were balled into fists as you took in your surroundings. neatly polished floors. this rather uncomfortable seat. the sound of a woman speaking. that's right. you were in school. did you fall asleep?

because of that, you had to relive a terrible moment. you took a deep breath and went to glance down at your notes and textbook. " pardon me miss ( l/n ), " the teacher called you out and you looked up, letting out a soft ' mhm ' in response. " am i boring you? it seems like something else is getting your attention. " she addressed and you felt your cheeks flare in embarrassment. you pushed yourself onto your feet and quickly bowed your head,

" no, that's not the issue," you spoke, " i am, so ... so sorry . " you apologized, earning a few chuckles and snickers from your classmates. 

maybe you were saved by the bell. it went off, and the lady sighed slightly and pushed her frames further onto her face, " that will be all for the day, i suppose, " she closed her own textbook as you took a seat, " do not forget. your homework for tonight is to read the excerpt and annotate it. i do not want to see any lazy comments. remember, you guys are all smart! " she gave a small pep talk before waving them off. you began to close your notebook.

" did you not get enough sleep? " a soft voice spoke, and you looked over. you couldn't help but smile at her. " not much, no. " you shook your head, as the girl frowned slightly, " you should really take care of yourself! " she pretended to scold you, but she chuckled a bit, " you remind me so much of him at times ... " she handed you her notebook, " here, you can use my notes to copy. you can give it back to me at the end of the day, okay? " 

the name on the notebook was tachibana hinata. her handwriting was so pretty, and her notes were always well-kept. she was a lifesaver. you accepted the book and smiled at her, " thank you, tachi - " 

" hina's fine! we are friends, after all!" she quickly corrected you, and turned to collect the rest of her things, " i have to head to my other class, i'll text you during lunch. " she smiled and waved, before heading out the classroom. you waved back and stood there for a moment. you had a free period, so this was the perfect time to catch up on your notes. you glanced out the window for a second, admiring the shadows of the swaying trees. you couldn't wait to go home to see your mom. 

⊱ ───── {.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.} ──── ⊰

your school day came to an end rather quickly. you did as promised, and took notes to give hina her notebook back. the school began to flood out quickly, and you worried you wouldn't catch her. besides, you weren't going home so soon. you looked around, before spotting the pretty girl getting ready to head out, " ah, hina! " you called out to her, as she stopped and looked over. you smiled, and quickly approached her, offering her notebook.

" thank you so much, " you grinned, " i owe you. " you meant it. she helped you out so many times, and yet you felt like you never gave her anything in return. but she never looked for something in return. she was just so happy to help. " it's fine. you're a friend of mine. " she replied cooly, " are you heading home? do you want to walk with me? " she offered, bringing her bag to her front and opening it to place the notebook inside. 

" no, i'm meeting up with my boyfriend. " you replied, " let me know when you get home, hina. " she let out a soft ' mhm! ' before she looked at you. " same for you! " she outstretched her arms, " don't be shy! " and it wasn't weird. you two hugged before. she always gave such comforting hugs. your smile widened, and you accepted her hug. 

" i'll see you later! bye-bye! " hinata called out as she left the building, while also waving. you returned it and watched as she headed off. now it was your turn to head off. you hummed softly, bag on your shoulder as your uniform skirt swayed against the breeze. you could hear a loud cheer in the distance and you knew your destination was approaching. you took a deep breath as the words only grew closer, 

" yeah! let's do this ! " 

" quit messin' around you dumbshit! "

" hurry up and fight! "

" kill him! "

but you weren't fazed. this was normal for you. you slowly descended down the stone stairs what resembled almost an amphitheater. you took your time as you walked. the only lady amongst a bunch of boys. some looked at you while you walked down the stairs as silently as possible, but they never looked at you hard enough. they all knew better. you stopped finally toward the front and tucked your skirt inwards, before sitting beside a young man. 

" you're late. " he murmured, as the crowd only got rowdier. you placed your bag beside you, and rest your hands in your lap, " sorry. " you apologized slightly, before looking at the two fighting before you. some normal-looking dude and ... some guy with a horrible dye-job?

wait.

your brows furrowed a little, and you then realized who exactly was in the arena. you felt tense for a little and bit your bottom lip . this ... wasn't going to end well. from his actions and reaction to the fight ... he wasn't prepared. hanagaki ... was going to lose. " hold this. " a wad of cash was slapped into your lap and you looked down, " don't be funny. i know how much is there. " you nodded and grabbed the money into your hands and began to go through them. anything was better than watching what was to go down.

but ... nothing went down. 

one punch and hanagaki was gone. 

the arena cleared almost instantly, and you remained seated beside your boyfriend, while his other friends waited for hanagaki to regain consciousness. the disgusting smell of cigarettes pooled beneath your nose, and you coughed slightly, waving the air around your face. one thing you hated was the smell of it. " hanagaki's finally awake. " and your attention adverted over to the blond. you sat up straight as if you were trying to get a good look at him as he sat up. 

and the moment he looked your way you felt a bit relieved that he wasn't dead. it was only a punch, and they didn't let the match carry on. you noticed hanagaki eye down your boyfriend as he counted the money, for the third time:

kiyomizu masataka.

kiyomisa pocketed the money, and put his attention to the blond male, " if people stop comin' to these fight club matches to bet, there's no point, " he announced, " for now, teach that piece of trash a lesson. " you had no say so. you were just his girlfriend. a trophy. you were good-looking, and he wanted that. perhaps he only wanted someone like you to cover up his horrible deeds.

ah yes. you didn't agree with him. but it was the fear of him that kept you so close. your relationship with him started oddly. he's been watching you, and there have been times when he sent out his 'boys' to find you. and it wasn't like he asked you to be his girlfriend. he demanded it. threatened you. " be my girlfriend or i'll beat the shit out of you."  you didn't know why he wanted you, to begin with. you tried not to interfere with his game here. it wasn't your business. you had no reason to be here. you were a hostage.

so hearing him so easily open his mouth to inflict pain on the blond, your eyes widened and you flinched in your spot. you moved to get up, to hopefully stop them, but you knew what would happen if you moved. and he saw you in the corner of his eye, " is there something you disagree with, bitch? " he asked you, not bothering to look at you directly. just from the corner of his eye was enough to make you sit. " are you trying to disobey me? " you shivered and shook your head, looking elsewhere, " n-no, it's just - "

" just nothin'. you say something else, and that's going against my word. " he spoke clearly despite the drug in his mouth, " don't make me give you a spankin' right here. it isn't nothin' . " he threatened, " i'll bend you over my knee, and remind you exactly who you are, and of your place. shut the hell up. " you chewed on the inside of your cheek, deciding that being silent was the only correct response. so you did just that and had no choice but to watch that poor boy get stomped on easily. 

over, and over again. 

it was horrible. 

this boy ... meant so much to hinata, and yet you couldn't do anything. it felt like it happened for hours, until the sky faded into a sunset of red and orange. you grabbed your bag, and you felt a tight hold around your waist as you walked up the stone stairs. you wanted to go home. this day was finally over, and you took a deep exhale. that is until you heard a voice, and you and the boys stopped in their tracks. 

" SO ... YOU GUYS BELONG TO THE TOKYO MANJI GANG, RIGHT? "

uh, no. not you. 

" I'D LIKE TO MEET ONE OF THE LEADERS. EITHER SANO OR KISAKI ... I WAS WONDERING IF THAT'D BE POSSIBLE SOMEHOW. "

there was a loud silence. everyone knew better, but him. and you seemed to tense up beside your boyfriend, who snapped his cigarette in half.

"OH, IF NOT, I UNDERSTAND. " 

you felt your blood run cold, and for some dumb reason, you tried to calm down the storm, " w-wait, maybe he do - " and as you tried to ease his anger, you were quickly spoken over. 

" BRING ME MY BAT. "

you were glued to your spot as kiyomisa showed no mercy. he drew it back, once, twice, three times, and let down all strength onto the balled-up boy. please stop this. " i-i'm sor .. " hanagaki tried to apologize, but the boy wouldn't let up. you felt a sudden weight brew in the pit of your chest. " h-hey ... maybe we should stop him soon. " one spoke , " uh, yeah. " another added in. 

" KIYOMASA! DUDE, STOP! YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM! "

they rushed down to hopefully save the bullied here, but you ... you couldn't do it. " i'm so sorry.. " you whispered to no one, and turned on the heels of your feet and sprinted up the stairs. you couldn't watch that. you couldn't sit there and watch him get hurt again. you couldn't ...

you were shocked to find yourself at your front door, completely out of breath. it was late, and you knew your mother was probably expecting you home by now. you fished around in your bag for your keys, struggling while having horribly shaky hands. " oh? you're home late. " you jumped at the sudden voice, and turned to face a male. " i could have picked you up? " he held his keys in his hand as he unlocked the door for you. " everything alright? looks like you saw a ghost. "

" i'm fine! " you quickly spoke, " you scared me, osamu. " you lied, and entered the house once it was open. " i'm home! " you called out, removing your shoes carefully and walking into the spacious home. a home that didn't have many memories in it. not like your old one. " ah, welcome home honey! i made your favorite today!" your mom hummed, completely growing. she still looked the same ... but this time around, she had a rather round belly.

that's right. after your father died, you and your mother moved. she met a different guy, got engaged, and wound up pregnant. you were going to be a big sister soon. despite everything, you smiled lovingly, " thank you, " your eyes fell onto her stomach and you couldn't help yourself. placing your hands onto them, you gave it a few rubs. you were excited to be an older sibling. " how was school today? did everything go okay? " osamu asked curiously, and you nodded, " it was alright, " you also lied, " today they carried that brownie that i like! "

you never told your mom about the things that happen. the things you've witnessed. you didn't want her to worry. and you didn't think it was such a big deal. you weren't involved in a gang; your boyfriend was. even if asked, you wouldn't want to be a part of a gang. after the death of your father, you wouldn't ever count on it. or so you thought.

tomorrow was bound to be something.

because it's a coping mechanism. we figure that if we say sorry, 

our horrible deeds will be overwritten. 

. 　　            ⊹ ✦ 　 ✵ 　　　　　* 2195 words.

sunshine, rainshine, and moonshine. prologue [here] chapter two [here]

[andrrns]

Hi, my name is something you should not know, although it's common enough that I bet millions of people share the same name. I know I should start with something poetic or profound, like how the vibrant colors of the sunset can fill this empty, sad soul (that would be me) trapped in a decaying body that he despises throughout his life, and whose thoughts are like unending crashing waves drowning him in his illusions. But that would be too cliché.

My whole life is composed of me imagining a series of scenes that are impossible to happen, like cats growing fins and fish having paws, which I perform as my daily ritual to start my day. I mostly do this in the bathroom, where, if the walls could speak, they would probably utter nerve-cracking words to shake my imagination, or even worse, grow feet and walk away, exposing me naked. As if the wrong things I've done were not enough to humiliate me as a person whose life is at stake of being critically damaged and permanently destroyed.

I know most people think I have a creative mind. But I'm not proud of it. My mind works differently. It was like I was hit by a big harsh truth and I was never able to calibrate my broken clockwork. Hence, it's been a while since I felt like a normal person who can go outside, talk and laugh with some of my friends, go home, eat dinner with the family, go to bed early, and call it a day. I’ve never felt that way. In between those activities mentioned above, there will always be some extra work, like two consecutive numbers being stretched to their full extent and finding out there are numbers infinitely going between the two, and they are never really close to each other to begin with. Some of these activities are self-loathing, self-comparing, overthinking, anxiety, and some irrelevant memories from a couple of years ago that make me cringe whenever I think about them. I question myself: why am I even alive and how am I still able to cope with these dramatic twists and turns of events that I know will soon lead to traps, dead ends, and inevitable death, which is the only thing I find reassuring and very accurate.

And there goes my dilemma. I don't know exactly how I should end this. I'm too tired and sleepy, and I got even more tired just thinking about having to function tomorrow, trying to learn things we don't really need to know. I've got so many thoughts in my mind, and I'm afraid of losing this connection between my hands and my passion. Let's see if I will wake up tomorrow. Tomorrow.

[jcbbby]

okay so a fic where the reader is like super scared of like love and intimacy bc she’s never felt it or had it reciprocated before and her and jamie are in bed and she’s like “can i tell you something? i’m kind of scared of you” and he’s like why and she explains it’s bc she’s never felt this way or had anyone else feel this way about her and it scares her to lose it and he admits he loves her and it freaks her out but they love each other so it ends in fluff lol

🎉JCBBBY'S 500 FOLLOWER PARTY🎉

very interesting concept! I hope you enjoy, thank you for sending in a prompt! <3 I'm also sorry that this is more a blurb than a fic! I fear these last few 500 follower prompts will be rather short just since I don't have a ton of time these next few days. but I really hope they're still nice to read!!!! - "Can I tell you something? I'm kind of scared of you." warnings: none! genre: fluff -

These last six months with Jamie had been a dream. But that's just it, that's what had you always having a pit of anxiety in your stomach lately. It had been six months of smiles, laughs, memories...surely that would all fall apart soon just as it always does, right?

Jamie seemed so perfect, though. He was always so thoughtful and attentive, he remembered the little things, and even surprised you on your birthday with your favorite flowers, which you couldn't believe he even thought of. You dreaded the day he inevitably would start pulling away, eventually stepping out of your life like it was nothing, like you meant nothing. Everyone else had in the past. Once they had gotten their use out of you, grown tired of you, you'd been discarded and left feeling like you just didn't have enough to give. It must be only a matter of time before he left too, no matter how much you hoped he wouldn't.

It terrified you to lose him. You couldn't lose him, not this time. You'd never felt so taken care of and appreciated, and it was often overwhelming to think about the pain that him ending things might cause.

"Babe?" Jamie asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

"Huh?" You snapped your head over to him laying next to you in bed.

He chuckled. "I asked if you wanted to go get brunch tomorrow, that little corner diner we went to on Valentine's Day?"

You cleared your throat. "Oh, yeah. Yeah that sounds nice." You smiled.

He cocked an eyebrow at you, reaching for your hand laid over the comforter. "What's on your mind? You okay?"

You took a deep breath. Maybe talking about it would pull the band aid off quicker. He could tell you then that he thinks maybe you should go your separate ways, or that he wants to see other people, or that you want different things, or one of the many other phrases that echo in your mind. If you could just get it over with, the pain would be over sooner too. Or maybe...maybe he would reassure you. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. He seemed different, maybe he was different.

"Can I tell you something? I'm kind of afraid of you." You looked up at him, a grimace spreading across your face.

He tilted his head, squeezing your hand a little tighter in his. "Scared of me? Darling, what do you mean? I'm not scary, am I?"

You shook your head. "No, no. Of course not. It's just..." You felt the tears come on with no warning. They were immediately staining your cheeks.

Jamie pulled you in close to him, holding you against his chest as he caressed your back. "Hey, hey..." He cooed. "You can tell me, love."

"It's just...everyone leaves. They always do." You sniffled, pulling yourself away from his embrace. "There's always a point where everyone decides they're done with me. And I...I don't want you to too." You wiped your eyes.

"Darling...I'm not going anywhere. I promise, okay? I love you." He smiled, bringing his head down to glance up at you.

You paused a moment, trying to process his words. "You-You love me? Oh, no... no, please don't say that. That will just make it so much worse when..." You frowned, closing your eyes as more tears fell from them.

Jamie pulled you in again, holding you tightly against him. He kissed the side of your head, speaking quietly into your ear. "Baby, no. No, I mean it. I'm not going anywhere, unless you want me to?" He asked.

"No, never." You said, muffled into his chest.

"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page then. Neither of us are going anywhere." He chuckled. "Hmm?" He released you, holding you at arms length.

You smiled, leaning in to place a gentle kiss against his lips. He brought his hands up to either side of your cheeks, holding you there as he kissed you back. You both smiled into each other's lips. As the kiss broke, you leaned yourself into his arms, pressing your back into his chest as he brought his arms around you.

He rested his cheek against yours. "I'm glad we talked about this. I don't want you to ever feel like you're not enough. And I meant it, I do love you."

You smiled, exhaling a sigh of contentment. "I love you too, Jamie."

[wordsinhaled]

strap in for thirteenth doctor feelings!

so i'm only halfway through series 12 which means i haven't finished 13's run so obviously there almost certainly are things i'm missing so far. but i have to say... like... while thirteen's run may NOT benefit from strong writing it absolutely DOES benefit from jodie's acting because there is something very much of the doctor to her, she's got a lovely steeliness that she brings out at the right moments, and she really brings something very specific to this role that captures who the doctor is at this moment in the timeline. and i'm thinking about it narratively as well, and the thirteenth doctor makes sort of really heartbreaking sense.

this is a doctor who had already lived too long several regenerations ago yet is still chasing more because she can never stop running. this is a doctor who has known the pain of losing countless companions and is terrified to lose even more, so she holds them at arm's length; and yet, still, she craves closeness, love, and companionship, even family (they're her "fam"—it's a chipper, offbeat way to downplay their importance to her—if it can be just a turn of phrase, just gen Z slang, she doesn't have to think of what comes from family: loss, pain, guilt, fire, destruction, goodbyes, loneliness). and we all remember ten sitting on that rooftop with donna, talking about the christmas he'd spent with the tylers, calling them his family, the closest he'd come to having one since gallifrey.

before the doctor opened up to rose he'd been war-hardened and rough around the edges, until he was worn down, softened by the things he craves. because it's always those thing the doctor craves, belonging, connection, hope; it's why there's always someone in the TARDIS; it's why donna said the doctor needs someone. but loneliness feels like the doctor's cosmic punishment, the only outcome that makes sense, and the only way to prevent further collateral damage. so, little wonder thirteen's committed to doing everything on her own, looking for the master on her own, visiting her home on her own; trying to be unknowable. seesawing between the defensive need to push away and the doctor's fundamental desire to love others and to be loved.

there are three people on board her TARDIS and she couldn't be farther from them. she's feeling unknowable because she's carrying every one of her years, every one of her past acts, every drop of blood on her hands, every mistake she's ever made. there's this sense that she could, somehow, be unknown even to herself. and - "something's coming for me" - there's this deep sense of huntedness, of wanting to outrun the inevitable (pain; punishment) and not being able to because reminders of it are around every corner. there's even captain jack, her fixed point, come back to haunt her; an anomaly, one that shouldn't exist. just like the doctor shouldn't exist.

and yet she keeps not being ready to go. nine was ready because he'd shed some of his burden and experienced being unconditionally witnessed. ten had only just started to live in that peace and he wanted longer, wanted more. eleven already carried the knowledge that he'd overstepped the universe but he still had an innocence to him, a sort of double edge. twelve was gruffness layered over so much care and kindness. and thirteen is. just. coming at the universe with bright open-heartedness to fight her own fear of what she knows is coming, is always, has always been coming for her.

everywhere, in everything, there's a reminder of the home she lost and barely believes she deserves to find again. everywhere, in everything, a reminder that she has to keep going, go faster, go farther, keep up the distractions, keep up the façade because otherwise the only other option is to face it down. and the doctor's a coward, any day. and actually, it's heartwrenching because it's brilliant.