#it's always been interesting how much it changes per universe

[reasonsforhope]

"As climate disasters strain state budgets, a growing number of lawmakers want fossil fuel companies to pay for damages caused by their greenhouse gas emissions.

Last May [2024], Vermont became the first state to pass a climate Superfund law. The concept is modeled after the 1980 federal Superfund law, which holds companies responsible for the costs of cleaning up their hazardous waste spills. The state-level climate version requires major oil and gas companies to pay for climate-related disaster and adaptation costs, based on their share of global greenhouse gas emissions over the past few decades. Vermont’s law passed after the state experienced torrential flooding in 2023. In December [2024], New York became the second state to pass such a law. 

This year, 11 states, from California to Maine, have introduced their own climate Superfund bills. Momentum is growing even as Vermont and New York’s laws face legal challenges by fossil fuel companies, Republican-led states, and the Trump administration. Lawmakers and climate advocates told Grist that they always expected backlash, given the billions of dollars at stake for the oil and gas industry — but that states have no choice but to find ways to pay the enormous costs of protecting and repairing infrastructure in the face of increasing floods, wildfires, and other disasters.

The opposition “emboldens our fight more,” said Maryland state delegate Adrian Boafo, who represents Prince George’s County and co-sponsored a climate Superfund bill that passed the state legislature in March. “It means that we have to do everything we can in Maryland to protect our citizens, because we can’t rely on the federal government in this moment.” 

While the concept of a climate Superfund has been around for decades, it’s only in recent years that states have begun to seriously consider these laws. In Maryland, federal inaction on climate change and the growing burden of climate change on government budgets have led to a surge of interest, said Boafo. Cities and counties are getting hit with huge unexpected costs from damage to stormwater systems, streets, highways, and other public infrastructure. They’re also struggling to provide immediate disaster relief to residents and to prepare for future climate events. Maryland has faced at least $10 billion to $20 billion in disaster costs between 1980 and 2024, according to a recent state report. Meanwhile, up until now, governments, businesses, and individuals have borne 100 percent of these costs. 

“We realized that these big fossil fuel companies were, frankly, not paying their fair share for the climate crisis that they’ve caused,” Boafo said. 

Recent bills have also been spurred by increased sophistication in attribution science, said Martin Lockman, a climate law fellow at the Sabin Center for Climate Change Law at Columbia University. Researchers are now able to use climate models to link extreme weather events to greenhouse gas emissions from specific companies. The field provides a quantitative way for governments to determine which oil and gas companies should pay for climate damages, and how much. 

Vermont’s law sets up a process for the government to first tally up the costs of climate harms in the state caused by the greenhouse gas emissions of major oil and gas companies between 1995 and 2024. The state will then determine how much of those costs each company is responsible for, invoice them accordingly, and devote the funds to climate infrastructure and resilience projects. New York’s law, by contrast, sets a funding target ahead of time by requiring certain fossil fuel companies to pay a total of $75 billion, or $3 billion per year over 25 years. The amount each company has to pay is proportionate to their share of global greenhouse gas emissions between 2000 and 2024. Both Vermont and New York’s laws apply only to companies that have emitted over 1 billion metric tons of greenhouse gas emissions over their respective covered periods. That would include Exxon Mobil, Shell, and other oil and gas giants.

Maryland’s law is so far the only climate Superfund-related legislation to pass a state legislature this year, although Governor Wes Moore vetoed the measure late on Friday [May 16, 2025]. The original draft of the bill would have required major fossil fuel companies to pay a one-time fee for their historic carbon emissions. But over the course of the legislative session, the bill was amended...

Climate advocates decried the governor’s decision, calling it “an inexplicable reversal of a position that threatens to stymie Maryland’s climate progress for negligible budget savings.” In a joint press release by three environmental groups, Kim Coble, executive director of the Maryland League of Conservation Voters, said, “This veto is not fiscal responsibility, it’s a definitive step in the opposite direction of our climate goals.”

In California, environmental groups are optimistic about the chances of a bill passing this year. This is the second year a climate Superfund bill has been introduced in the state, and the sponsors of the new bill have focused on building a broad coalition of environmental, community, and labor groups around the proposal, said Sabrina Ashjian, project director for the Emmett Institute on Climate Change and the Environment at the UCLA School of Law. This year’s legislation was introduced shortly after the devastating Los Angeles wildfires in January, which could amplify lawmakers’ sense of urgency. The bill has now passed out of each legislative chamber’s environmental committee and is awaiting votes in their respective judiciary committees. If passed, the bill will next move to the full Senate and Assembly for a final vote. 

In the meantime, legislators are keeping a close eye on ongoing legal challenges to Vermont’s and New York’s laws...

Climate experts told Grist that with huge amounts of money and liability at stake, lawsuits from the fossil fuel industry weren’t unexpected. Boafo said that given how much financial and political support the Trump campaign received from oil and gas corporations, it’s not a surprise that the Justice Department has sued New York and Vermont. Pursuing these laws invites inevitable opposition — but avoiding the growing costs of climate devastation is even riskier, advocates said. 

Lawmakers are “passing these bills because in writing budgets, in dealing with the day-to-day operation of their states, they’re facing really serious questions about how our society is going to allocate the harms of climate change,” said Lockman. “I suspect that the lawmakers who are advocating for these bills are in it for the long haul.”"

-via Grist, May 19, 2025

[transmutationisms]

ok off the last ask are there any tv shows you Do think are good or does the position of tv is bad kind of hold universally?

imo the reasons tv is on average bad are largely to do with production and not actually just coincidental

-because a tv show generates more profit the longer it runs, networks & showrunners are perversely incentivised to Make Stuff Happen & also to fail to deal with the narrative consequences of that stuff (nobody wants to watch 10 seasons of a show where the personal dysfunctions that the story is premised on are overcome and dealt with and the characters just calm down by season 3)

-advertisers have typically/traditionally gotten a large degree of control over the actual content onscreen (this is a pressure in any creative work made for profit -- but, eg, it's not unusual for tv advertisers and esp product-placers to get final review of actual scripts, to threaten to pull ads if a show discusses xyz or gets 'too political', &c)

-for numerous contingent reasons including some reaction to the above, tv has not typically been seen as a prestigious creative industry (even in the 'golden age', compare the reputation of tv to that of the cinéma or stage theatre), leading to a lot of writers and directors who don't really want to be there, are embarrassed, view their tv work as the pitch to launch their film or novelist career, &c &c

-all of this exerts downward pressure on the compensation rates for pretty much everyone who works on tv, from actors to crew members, which makes the industry less appealing and less prestigious and is used to justify even worse and cheaper labour practices &c &c -- meaning a lot of tv work goes to people who don't want to be there, couldn't qualify for better compensated roles, are mainly cast for being conventionally attractive, &c

i've watched and enjoyed plenty of tv and it's not like it's impossible to execute something well artistically even in these circumstances. for example, i think succession has some really stellar character writing, & that this is directly connected to the fact it had hbo money & a showrunner who always planned for it to have an endpoint & a limited number of seasons—but it's also connected to the fact that the story is framed around characters being constitutionally incapable of major change. for similar reasons, a miniseries or anthology series is imo usually a better format for a drama than the conventional constantly-renewed network series. alternatively you can go the seinfeld route and have your show genuinely be about trivia, with a hard reset every episode (like, compare how long seinfeld could keep beating the same three dead horses versus eg the immediate problems faced by a show like the good place where characters were supposed to be enduring meaningful personal growth incompatible with their roles in the actual narrative).

but imo very few people who work on tv are interested in thinking about what the medium can do well, because again they view themselves more as temporarily embarrassed artistes, and even those who do view television as its own medium with its own constraints and strengths are often kneecapped by the actual circumstances of production (like, a mini-room may well be full of really talented writers who want to do fascinating things with the medium -- i wouldn't know, because they get approximately 30 seconds per episode to throw shit at the wall that some exec can market to a cereal company).

i've liked plenty of shows enough to watch more than 5 minutes of them (succession, lots of medical soaps, the first 2 seasons of misfits, doctor who, thw twilight zone, parts of mad men, the thick of it, mr robot, community, i may destroy you, pushing daisies...) & i think it's fair to say if i liked something i probably thought some aspect of it was good, meaning, well executed in some way. but i would also say pretty much all of those are dogshit in other respects, are overall susceptible to the same problems tv in general is, &c.

[fullfriendnerdclutch]

Richard actually preferred to spent his Spring Break lounging around his quaint and peaceful university town. But, since his Uncle drove all the way down to pick him up unannounced, simply because Richard is in the same state now, not like he could just shush that man away so he lazily packed his bag and hit the road with the 43 years old hulk of a DILF

They didn't talk much throughout the long trip into the farmland as Richard pretended to fall asleep before eventually really falling asleep on the way there. But he's dead wrong to assume that his Uncle is unaware of his avoidance. In fact, that very attitude is the sole reason why his Uncle came all the way down to pick him up. It's time to mold Richard into the perfect Dawson boys, and Spring Break provides the best timeline in order for Richard to hit his final alteration right during summer

When the pair arrived at the sprawling farm, Richard realized how stinking rich his family must be with all these acres of land under their possession. It's been more than a decade since he last visited the family farm, but clearly this visit will leave him with the memory about the family farm much more clearly. His uncle let him rest for the remainder of the day, he even fell asleep right after his quick dinner and cleaning himself. But Richard didn't expect that he needs to do some hard labour the following morning!

"Your cousin Adam is spending some time with his sickly wife while Steve took off for the entirety of this Spring Break to spend time with his kids. So I need your help, boy,"

"Wait, Adam is married?"

"Yes, a year ago, don't you remem--- oh yeah, you were on your gap year trip,"

The tone his uncle used irked Richard a bit, gap year trip, but he let it go. His mind is focused on the fact that Adam is the same age as him, and he's married? At 20? 19 if he considered the fact it happened a year ago.....what a totally different life the two of them have. His uncle snapped Richard's out of his mind as he told the pale, gangly-looking Richard to put on the boots before helping him around the farm and the ranch. Richard at first doubted that he could fit into the boots, but somehow it fits him just right. So, off he goes with his uncle

Day after day, the routine remained the same. He will wake up at around 5 or 6 AM, have his loaded breakfast and head out with his uncle. He surprisingly found himself enjoying the routine, he even started to address his Uncle with "Sir" and cooked the breakfast for the two. He simply didn't notice the change in his reflection on how his skin tanned on its own, how his form straightened rather than hunched per usual, how all his clothings somehow altered to solely consist of black t-shirt, jeans and some plaid shirt and he just didn't bother to ask his uncle for the whereabouts of his other clothing. He also failed to notice how his uncle has been subliminally planting in his subconsciousness that he enjoyed working in the farm, that he preferred to be called Dick since Richard sounded too posh for him, that Dick has always been interested with farming and the idea to continue the family's business, that Dick wanted to recruit some good trusted friends of his to join the family's business and how he needs to pivot to study about agriculture or farming in uni.....well, scratch that, he will probably drop out later in the summer and learn better about farming or agriculture by working with his Uncle.

Imagine the surprise his roommates got when Richard went back from his Spring Break 30 lbs heavier and looking like a Southern farm stud with his outfit and the way he got this drawl out of nowhere. And he apparently have a souvenir too for them

"Got these from my Uncle, now, try to put these babies on and tell me how it feels,"

---

Fast forward to summer, not only Dick really followed through with his drop out plan, he brings along his now much-more fitting roommate to join him in the farm

Hey there, a bit rushed with this execution but hope it's still an enjoyable read

[dduane]

The first part of that last message got me curious -- given how long-running of a series YW is, how do you keep track of All That when writing a new entry? Copious amounts of notes? Re-reading the entire series backlog? Keeping a fully-functioning simulation of the entire YW universe running in your head with perfect accuracy? (only mostly joking with that last one)

And somewhat-relatedly, did you have any plan or idea when you started for how long YW would run? Or was it more of a "I'll keep writing about this universe until it stops churning out ideas," type of thing and that point just (very thankfully!) hasn't happened yet? I know for per-book purposes you're a proponent of outlining (I swear I'll try writing to one one day Q_Q) but do you also apply that to a series as a whole?

Let me take this backwards, as it may make more sense that way.

Particularly when doing series work, outlining is more vital than usual for me. (Which is saying a lot.) Some of the most basic reasons for this are laid out over here.

The simplest one, though, for series outlining, is logistical. Without having achieved a sense well in advance of what events (or effects of events) are going to be most formative or important (or both) for the characters in a series, you won't have allowed yourself time to think about them enough. And to fail to spend enough time on this is to cheat both yourself and the books in the series. (And your readership.)

If you're smart, you learn very early on that attempting to save time by shortchanging or omitting the planning stages is potentially profoundly destructive. You need to have a plan... and you need not to let anyone make you ashamed of needing one. Putting off your detailed character-interaction and event planning in the name of some magically occurring fit of inspiration, or theoretical bid toward creative spontaneity, will serve neither you nor your creation. You can throw "Hail Mary" passes all you like... but you'd better be damn sure there'll be someone in the end zone to receive. ...If not Herself.

...And just in case you're worried, your initial plans can be really loose! They don't have to jump out of your head full-formed like some local war goddess after somebody hits her dad in the head with an axe. The plan for the Middle Kingdoms books—after The Door Into Fire dumped me gasping by the side of the road and left me a few minutes to breathe—was nothing more than "Now that his boyfriend's finally upped the ante beyond all expectations, Freelorn finally gets off his feckless Would-Be Robin Hood shit and gets to work becoming king." I then spent the next decade thinking purposefully about how that was going to happen, and writing the second book in the series—while sufficiently working out the fine details of the climax (and beyond) to then be able to get busy executing the third book. Even though there was a change of publishers between the beginning of that series and the end of it, the basic dead-simple MK plan from a very early stage quickly became detailed and robust enough (because the series was short enough) to withstand the change. Not least because I'd been thinking about it in a general way since the early 1970s... and continue to do so, pretty much daily. The Door Into Starlight is still hanging fire...

YW has been a different story—quite literally—because the only plan extant at the start of things was, "Everybody slowly gets older (and slowly closer)." I always knew there were going to be more than the original three: there was way too much interesting ground to cover to just stop with those. (I've never yet succeeded in finding out who started the rumor that there were only going to be three books. Over time it's become one of those things you just shrug at and move on.)

(Adding a break here, because this does go on a bit. Caution: contains publishing skullduggery, plans ganging aft agley, approximate word counts, software recommendations, and value judgments.)

("Now wait just one minute. 'Feckless would-be Robin Hood shit'? Can she just say that??")

The circumstances surrounding the writing of Deep Wizardry and High Wizardry, though, made it plain to me that I was not going to be at the then-publisher (Dell) all that much longer. By the time HW came out, they were already starting to pull away from midlist books and authors in order to spend that part of the budget on best-sellers... so it became plain to me that attempting to construct a long arc with/at that publisher would have been folly. Because who could be sure what was going to happen next, and blow everything I'd built to smithereens?

Sure enough, when I finished A Wizard Abroad, Dell declined to pick it up (even though the books had been selling steadily and increasingly strongly in paperback). This annoying validation of my concerns—and my shiny new agent's—made it plain to me that further books in the series were going to need to be thematically driven, rather than mostly character-event-driven, and almost entirely capable of being taken as standalones. Any long arc was going to have to be one that could be suspended, or reworked, with little warning. Because what happens to you once, in publishing, doesn't at all mean you're immune to it after that.

It wasn't until the YW books were picked up by Harcourt in the mid-90s, with a strong editorial team behind them, that I felt confident enough to start building longer-arc material into the books, beginning with the arc that kicks off in The Wizard's Dilemma and more or less completes in Wizard's Holiday and Wizards At War. There is a secondary (and I assume, generally less obvious) arc that picks up material still unhandled in the "War Arc," and deals with it in A Wizard of Mars and Games Wizards Play. But plans for those stories' management were already nailed down in electrons as soon as 2001, because I had made some early choices about where I was going with the characters and their situations; and as new books came out, my editors agreed with me that the choices had been sound, and should remain.

I'll say this only because I've said it before: there is one piece of business planted in So You Want To Be A Wizard that has never been explicitly dealt with/followed up on in any of the books, and is at the core of YW #11. For the moment, it's safest merely to say that I do not willingly leave loose ends hanging. Beyond that, I'll leave you all to your own deductions.

...Now. How do I keep track of all this stuff? (The urge to mutter "With great difficulty" and run off into the wings is strong. But never mind.) :)

The question's fair, as there's a million-plus words' worth of it in the series at the moment. ...Mostly my guide remains the books themselves, in ebook form (in their NME versions. If I need to, I refer back to the traditionally published versions as necessary). I normally have a general memory of where a given event happens or where a given issue comes up for handling. I then pull that copy of the ebook(s) in question, and do a search on various useful target phrases until I find what I'm after, and where it leads.

For new work, or stuff not yet committed to what passes for canon, I do have lots of notes. Some of them are actually out in public, at the currently-being-revised Errantry Concordance (though they're not in any form that anyone but me will recognize). Others are tucked away in the notes sections of pertinent Scrivener files—this being one of the most valuable things about Scrivener, as far as I'm concerned: the ability to store project notes in the project itself as opposed to "all over the damn place." Others yet are in my iPad, as either typing or dictation, and get transferred to other files/formats as necessary.

But the very first thing that happens, when a new work comes into train, is an outline. Sometimes a hilariously simple one, sometimes one with more detail in the middle than at the beginning or the end. Doesn't matter what shape it starts in. All notes, scraps, prose chunks, random thoughts, and midnight cogitations, get slotted into place in this until it's ready to be organized and sent off to an editor. And this outline—no matter how fragmentary or how polished—remains ready to hand at all times until I've finished with correcting the book's ARC and am looking at the release date.

And then I zip it up and put it away where I can find it later if I need to... because some other plan, still in the building stages, may need something in that one that never happened, but now has its chance. Because in YW, as everywhere else in my work, it's so often about the things that have always almost happened... until they do.

...Anyway: HTH!

[sirfrogsworth]

The Testosterone Report

I'm going to use this post to help document any changes I notice as I begin TRT.

For those who missed it, I was diagnosed with crucially low levels of testosterone which have been causing serious fatigue and brain fog issues beyond my already present serious fatigue and brain fog issues. I used to only have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Narcolepsy fighting each other to make me tired. But the universe decided I could be even more fatigued than I already was. Going from being in bed about 20 to 22 hours per day to being in bed 24/7 for the last 2 months.

So, here we go...

12/16/24

I had two very intense nightmares. I know sometimes people get nightmares, but these felt very different. And I'm pretty sure they were manifested by my body adjusting to the T.

I also had another very obvious sign of increased testosterone. I struggle to talk about sexual things. I grew up very repressed. But hopefully we are all adults here and I can talk about this maturely without it being a big deal. I'm just tracking my progress and this is relevant information concerning my treatment.

That said, I had 2... incidents.

Yeah, I'm going to need a codeword for this so I don't feel so awkward talking about it.

I had 2... hormone-induced hard-ons.

Which we are going to call HI-HOs from now on.

Because we are adults and very mature.

I haven't had any issues getting a HI-HO with low T. The equipment always worked whenever I tested it out. I just was severely lacking in interest. Which I blamed on stress and anxiety and age.

These 2 HI-HOs were completely spontaneous and occurred without any stimulus. They also felt more... enthusiastic. So I was confident they were actual HI-HOs and not just run-of-the-mill HOs.

Or ROTM-HOs

--End of Report--

If I can be honest about something... I think I ignored my diminished libido for a long time because I preferred it. I am very lonely and I don't have much chance of ever changing that. I will never have the energy required to be in a healthy relationship. I tried several times and could never make it work.

So I liked not having to deal with that aspect of daily living. I liked having my thoughts clear and unmotivated by sex. And I'm not entirely sure I want my libido to return, so I think I ignored it as a possible symptom.

But I can't live with this much fatigue and lack of concentration. I can't finish sentences. Communicating with the people in my life has become very difficult. And the one thing I enjoy the most and find the most relaxing is editing photos. This past week I have struggled to find the concentration to edit anything at all. If I have to put up with a bunch of HI-HOs to keep my most important creative outlet, so be it.

I did hear back from a therapist. I will hopefully be starting in January. Perhaps I can figure out how to deal with this particular matter. It was nice to not have any sexual frustration for a while. But I think finding better coping methods is probably the best way to go.

[mydearcaptainlaurence]

Re-reading Temeraire series by Naomi Novik so fast again I’m already on book 4 (Empire of Ivory) before I can even make Tumblr posts on all the little things that delight me per book.

Whenever Maximus and Berkley enter the scene is hilarious.

Poor poor Levitas. And I could fall for Mr. Hollen!

Emily Roland confounds Laurence every. single. time. when she’s there (and how cute it is the other little cadets that follow her lead.)

And of course her mama 😳

Then book two, the backstory and origin story of who will be one of the main antagonists is compelling. And takes the spotlight every time, much to Temeraire’s chagrin.

Book 3: enter Tharkay.

Granby getting his dream come through—- and more ✨🔥

Book 4: finally more fleshing out the personalities of Laurence and Temeraire’s dragon formation captains and dragons.

The cast of characters in this series is so delightful and just, the author Naomi Novik is really cool for not letting the minor support characters fade— they keep showing up, contributing, being funny and sadly, they don’t always make it to the end. She really makes them matter.

I’m also like, my brain is overwhelmed how alternate history begins to diverge.

… haha and knowing what comes next after in Book 5. (And I remember loving the dragon characters introduced then. Plus Temeraire POV change!)

I read book 1-3 first time they were all published at once, I think and I discovered the series on the publication of book 4 back in 2007.

I’ve been reading posts mentioning how Tumblr users are delighted to discover these books just recently and they are finished. 🤣🤣🤣 oh lord, yes the wait was excruciating especially around book 6 and 7 (Crucible of Gold and Tongues of Serpents) especially. The 4 year gap and Laurence and Temeraire living in my imagination flung off who knows where.

It’s nice to re-discover my love for books and how the fandom is small but considerably grown since I first started. (Haha the ships are unsurprising. Another delight will be the fanfics waiting for me after this.)

(Tbh, I think the GoT fandom and the Targaryen obsession is what really put me off dragons for a while, their depiction too abused imo in that series/universe. And of course, having one family having them over everyone else— to me, that was not interesting at all. Not to mention how toxic that fandom is.)

It’s really quite nice when dragons are depicted as fully realized individuals—and everywhere around the world, so advantages happens depending on how many dragons are on your side. (And how well you treat them).

[annarobszombies]

hey red! i had an idea for a fanfic…stanxeno taking in a teen reader where with the stone age rolling around and their parents being god knows where, they start to sort of treat them like their own? domestic wholesome found family type of vibe. i would love if you incorporated the reader being a bit of a science nerd as well so that kinda kicks off stan and xeno letting them stick around? sorta like a “if you have something to offer, you can join us” type of thing. then it could transform overtime into them feeling fatherly over them. random thought as well lol, but i feel like they would be such protective parents, especially stanley. i hope you’re doing well! thanks!

Stanley and Xeno are certified girl dads

I had to cut this short but I have so much more to say about this LET THEM BE FATHERS

If anyone asks, Stanley Snyder does not like children. He doesn’t hate them, per se, but he has absolutely no interest in them whatsoever. He doesn’t want kids, he doesn’t need kids, he’s perfectly fine with his life as it is. 

You’re an exception, not the rule. 

When you woke up, entirely on your own like some kind of marvel, and wandered into the colony, no one knew what to do. Xeno picked at your brain for hours once you were clothed, fed, and settled, and Stanley just sort of hovered nearby. 

He didn’t try to be your friend, or anything like that. He just sort of existed in your space, and you drew him to you like a star does a planet. And where Stanley orbits, Xeno soon follows. 

Xeno does like children. Not enough to ever consider having his own, but he always thought them to be elegant little things. The perfect way for humanity to pass on its knowledge for the future. 

He takes on a sort of mentorship role for you. You had an interest in science, and proved yourself to be viciously smart. The two of you even had an extended conversation about the aesthetics of the periodic table. 

You thought it was the ugliest thing you’d ever seen, while he thought it perfectly elegant. The discussion ends in an impasse. An agreement to disagree.

But mentorship was all he’d intended. Nothing more. He’d wanted to keep a healthy distance between the two of you, to keep you at an arm’s length. It wasn’t that he disliked you, he just wasn’t made to be anything close to a father, or anything similar. That was a role fit for someone like Byakuya Ishigami, not Xeno Wingfield. And yet, the universe does act in the most interesting of ways. 

The change starts for Stanley when you’re caught crying in the middle of the night. 

You were by yourself, sitting by the water, all curled into a tight little ball. You hadn’t even heard him approaching you, your sniffles and soft weeping acting almost like a summoning for him. 

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say. He just sits next to you, lifts his arm, and lets you collapse into his side. You babble apologies for the tears and snot, but he just shrugs it off. A few tiny stains on an all-black outfit meant nothing to him. 

You end up crying yourself to sleep. 

When you wake up that next morning, you’re in bed. You don’t remember how you got there, but Stanley must have carried you up and taken care of you.

In fact, after that night, Stanley keeps taking care of you. 

He gets protective, hovering around you almost as much as he hovers around Xeno. He picks at what you’re wearing with a curled nose if it’s too revealing, scolds you for not eating or drinking anything after long periods of time, and is always there to listen when you need him to be. He also sits, patient and quiet, and lets you do his makeup. 

It was a thing that was just for fun, at first. You’d been bored, and he’d been available to bother. You and Xeno had been making cosmetics just for the hell of it, and you’d asked Stanley to sit and be your model. He’d huffed and made a big deal about it, but he’d sat down and let you have your way. Since then, it’s become normal.

Xeno’s change in perspective came on a quiet afternoon. 

He had you working on something non-essential. Mixing some chemicals and testing reactions; it was information he’d need later for other things, but it was mostly to keep you busy. As the two of you worked in pleasant silence, you let out a long sigh, prompting him to ask if you were alright. 

“Yeah,” You mumbled. “It’s just…it’s nothing.” He frowned, pausing in what he was doing to give you his full attention.

“Tell me. It’s my duty as your mentor to help you where I can,” He says. The frown on your face deepens, your eyes flitting to look at him before refocusing on the chemicals in front of you. 

“I just…this is gonna sound so silly but…I’m having a lot of fun, and that kind of made me sad,” You say, voice getting softer with each word. 

“Why would something like that make you upset?” He asks.

“Because this is the kind of stuff I used to do by myself. And now I have both a mentor and someone who wants to actually do science with me. It made me wonder if this is what it felt like to have a dad.” 

The room falls into silence as he processes your words. He’d never considered your family situation before. You’d adapted to the stone world so quickly, he’d nearly forgotten you were so young. Just a teenager. A child. 

A child whose parents were nowhere to be found. He wasn’t even sure you had any, given what you’d just said.

“Have you been thinking of me as a father?” He asks, hesitant. He’s not sure what answer he wants to hear, but he has a strange sense of anxiety that vibrates through him when you think a little too long about your reply. 

“Kind of,” You mumble. “If…that’s okay.” 

The warmth that spreads through him is something unexplainable. It was like he’d just been given the best gift in the world. What an odd feeling, he thinks, for a man who’d never wanted children of his own. 

“Of course,” He says. “I’m honored.”

Your expression brightens, a big grin spreading over your face at his words. The rest of the afternoon is spent making idle chatter while you two continue to work. When he returns to his and Stanley’s living quarters that evening, the two of them have the most important discussion they ever had and ever will have.

[copperbadge]

I was watching hockey earlier today and it got me wondering what sports are played in Askazer-Shivadlakia. Football & surfing’s been mentioned, what else is played in the country? Does it snow enough in the highlands for there to be any winter sports enthusiasts? What’s the state of women’s professional sports? Does the country compete in anything internationally? The Olympics are awful, but does the Ask send a delegation of athletes anyway?

It's not something I've thought a lot about outside of football, I admit, though thinking about the football program has clarified some aspects of it. Mainly I just am not entirely sure how a lot of sports...work, so I kind of stay hands-off.

Askazer-Shivadlakia has never been a super wealthy country. Jason was a bit of a traditionalist and Michaelis was concerned with modernizing but he wasn't an innovator per se, unless pushed; by the end of his reign the country was reaching a point where it had the kind of money to sustain a university or expand its public services fairly radically, but only just. Gregory is a big part of that because he trained as an economist, and while he's only been king for about two years, he's been working in the administration for much longer. He's been able to institute changes that have led to a comfortable surplus in the budget.

So for example, Michaelis wouldn't let the government fund a professional sports team of any kind because the money it would take was already being spent on the youth sports program. He felt that giving kids the chance to play sport was more important than sustaining a team, and said that their athletes were a gift they gave the world. And now that elite players are returning from playing abroad with money and the intention to spend it on supporting a team, his investment is actually, unexpectedly, paying off. Michaelis just wanted the kids of his country to learn self-discipline and good sportsmanship but in doing so he also ensured that if you leave the Ask to seek your fortune as an athlete, once you've got a fortune, you come back home to spend it. And Gregory's work means the government can help.

Football and F1 racing are the two big passion sports the Shivadh follow, though F1 is a fandom, not a pastime. There's decent surfing but that's more a tourist thing. Definitely there are regions that get cold enough for winter sports, but like surfing most of the ski/board sites are tourist-focused, places that ranch dairy cattle in the summer and then host tourists in the winter when the cows are in the warmer lowland pastures. Undoubtedly there are Shivadh snow sport enthusiasts and the country supports them if they compete internationally (both in terms of cheering them on and financially) but there's no program or deep tradition of it. If I ever actually write about those areas extensively that might change, though.

Women's sport has equal support to men's generally, whatever level that might be -- Askazer-Shivadlakia has always been relatively progressive but when Michaelis was elected, Miranda made it her business to push legislation that explicitly protected things like equal funding for women's sport and education and access to birth control and abortion. (She's also the reason weed is legal and Gerald can get Adderall in Europe, where it's banned in a lot of places; there's something to be said for the scion of old conservative nobility who is simply ready to wreck shit.)

There is no golf. Michaelis detests it personally and there's no room for it anyway. If they ever build Askazarama Amusement Park, they might get a mini-golf course.

I don't really know how the Olympics and other international competitions work. If there are talented athletes who want to compete and seem capable of qualifying, there's state funding for them, but there's no formal program where like, the MPs sit down every two years and pick out the top athletes they want to send. Likely most people interested in elite sport competition have to leave the country to train, and represent other countries as a result -- like Paolo in the football novel, who left when he was a young teen to attend a junior academy in France and entered professional play from there.

Shivadh still feel ownership of them, mind you. For example, Felix (the love interest in the football novel) played on the Italian national team and kicked a winning goal in a World Cup for Italy, but Askazer-Shivadlakia consider that cup theirs. A Shivadh did it, ergo it is a Shivadh victory. If an athlete were to say, represent France in an Olympic decathlon and take the gold, they would consider that to be a gold medal for Askazer-Shivadlakia.

The country is very excited about finally having a football team of their own. Shivadh Royal Football Club could lose every game it ever plays and still nobody would let a word be said against them. Fons-Askaz on match day is just a sea of hideous orange Shivadh RFC jerseys that say NARAN JUICE on the front. (Their major sponsor is local juice box and sports drink maker Naran Juice Box Co.)

[pocket-gems]

Thought I'd do a pinned post as an intro for any new followers + general info

Hi! I'm pocket-gems, but Sok's the name. I like the SU universe a bit too much and I like to do designs and requests around it. My art aims to be as close as the SU style as possible, but note that it's not my actual art style! I just do it for fun. English is not my main language and sometimes I just don't care enough to fix stuff, so I thought I'd say that haha. I can be a very assertive individual and I genuinely mean no harm or to come out as angry, so please don't fear me too much.

Tumblr's tag system sucks, I store and organize all of my SU ocs on ToyHouse, where if a Gem type has been created, the tag system should make it show up. I also have gemsonas there!

There's also bases, unfinished and finished that can be found here! They're free to use and it's a large collection of bases for fusions, canon and non canon gems ^^

I do requests once on a while, and when they're open, you'll see a longer post with Da Rulez. Alternatively, you can always commission me, here's the info if you're interested! Want to draw them yourself but don't know how to draw in the SU art style? I have a very basic guide here!

Are requests open? No! (Da Rulez are down below for when they're open)

• Ok with:

-Bases request (a skinny obsidian, a thick pearl, an opal base, etcetc)

-A fan fusion of canon characters (only canon characters! Be realistic tho, dont ask for a 10 fused-gems)

-Fan fusions of gemsonas (only my own tho, sorry!)

-Corrupted/Uncorrupted Gem designs (these may take a while tho)

-Random Homeworld Gem (note: any gem created as a request is one that i will keep, ok with doing fusions)

• Not Ok with:

-Literally anything outside the SU universe

-Turning *insert character* into a gemsona

-Custom Gem requests (just commission me for that)

-NSFW

• Want your Gems drawn? Know this first!

-I draw gems on a SU style, meaning that I change the design/proportions based of what I think would fit better. If you don't like this, don't request me. I enjoy explaining why I do certain changes, and if you're ok with it, go ahead!

-Only 1 gemsona per ask. If you're unsure of who to choose, its ok to send multiple, but please specify that fact! (Can be fusions, hybrids or single gem)

-Don't send multiple requests if you already sent a character. (1 month cool down until you can request again!)

-PLEASE share a fullbody, not just a bust.

-I HIGHLY encourage you to tell me stuff about your gemsona. Size, personality or whatever you think is worth sharing!

There is no time of delivery. I do this for free, any rushing will make me delete the request. Unless I forgot something, that should be all!

[hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog]

Limelight Series - Chapter 7

Happy Monday! So the universe has worked in my favor for once! here it is! Chapter 7 of the Limelight Series! It is a bit long, but I think its worth it. This will be the last chapter for this series for a while, but it does end on a good note, so I think you all will be happy with it, and can draw your own conclusions of what happens after.

I want to thank you all for reading this story and going on this journey with me and a big thank you to @hobby27 for sending in the ask/message for this story.

All your likes, reblogs, comments and ask to be on the tag list are appreciated and helps my confidence grow as a writer.

If you haven't read chapter six, click here to read it and then come back to read chapter 7.

This series came way of a message/ask from @hobby27 she asked:

"I would love something with Jensen and reader. He sees her when he’s at a convention and he’s bonkers for her. She isn’t so interested in a relationship with him because of the fame. So he has to woo her. Make her understand that he’s not a typical movie/tv star. Slow burn."

So I give you the Limelight series- It's a Jensen x reader (plus size, curvy girl) story, Jensen meets the reader in a bar, he falls fist, she is reluctant of course, but secretly she fell for him the second he walked through the door. So can a small town girl and a celebrity make it work?

Warnings for the whole series: language, multi-pov and switching between the pov mid chapters (sorry I can't help it), Jensen coming off aggressive for a hot second but then cooling off. Some douche side characters and some lovable ones, body shaming, angst, fluff, swoon, Jared is there and Micha is mention.

This story takes place an AU where Jensen is not married but Jared is and has kids.

This chapter is 4K+. Feedback, likes and reblogs are always welcomed. Please don't post as your own work, this is my work. If you would like to be added to my tag list, just ask, I am always happy to add you.

Six Month time jump from the end of Chapter 6

“Well look at what the cat dragged in! Is that the famous Y/N? The one that is dating that gorgeous actor from that one show…oh you know that one….” James sarcastically says, leaning his head back and pondering as if he is thinking long and hard for the answer.

“Yeah, Yeah, very funny” you quip back, making your way through the deserted bar and towards him. It being Sunday and all, the one day that he closes so he can give staff the night off, and him time to do inventory and payroll. You knew you would find him here, you need to see your friend. You take a seat on a barstool facing him.

He gives you a wicked smile. “Oh come on, Y/N, you know I'm only kidding. Besides, I know you can handle it.” He says tossing down a coaster and starts to grab the tequila without you asking for a margarita.

“But, I haven’t seen you around much, are you doing okay?” He asks, finishing up the drink and sitting it down in front of you. 

You take a moment to really think about his question, how are you doing? Really? Fine? Okay? I mean for the most part life hasn’t changed too much, your relationship with Jensen has been good, the long distance thing is not ideal, but…is it a relationship at all? 

Looking at James, you can tell he is waiting with anticipation to hear all the latest gossip. Leaning towards you, that smile plastered on his sunkiss face. God, how you wish you could give him something, anything. But you really have nothing. 

“I am fine, just busy at the studio is all. Had some great responses from my show a few months back so…how about you?” You ask, doing your best to push through. Giving James a smile, you take a much needed drink. Bypassing the subject of Jensen for now. 

You half listen to him talk about the staff turn over, the loss of the summer crowd, and how he can’t believe he is actually looking forward to the college kids coming back. It's not that James is self involved, per say, it's more that, get him talking about work, or about his stressors, and you can have him focus more on himself then you. Which in this monument, might be what you actually need. 

“That's Haven for you, out with the rich tourist, in with the drunk frat kids. Ugh, I am just happy not to have to deal with them if I am still going to be seeing Jensen.” Shaking your head at the thought of the girls that would give you grief and the guys that would act like ‘Dean’ just to get a free drink.

James gives you a curious look, “What do you mean, ‘if you're still dating Jensen.’ You two are not the happy couple I keep reading about on page 6 in the Haven Harold or online in People?”

Oh shit, didn’t think he would pick up on that. You give him a sheepish smile. Better get on the defense. 

“Okay first of all. Mrs. Hanson needs to get something new to print on page 6 besides the load of B.S. you supply her…” You throw back at him, finishing off your drink. Trying your best to come off as pissed off at the sweet kind small town local paper. 

“Hey! My info allows me free ad space! I am not giving that up!” James defensively says.

“And second, Jensen and I haven’t even been in the same area code for People magazine to even get a whiff of anything to write about so…we would actually have to see each other to create any real hot gossip.”

“But you guys are still together right? I mean you guys still talk, Facetime?”

“Yeah, of course, text constantly, Facetime a couple times a week. But he’s been swamped with work. He got back to Texas after the convention and was planning on coming back for a few weeks but his management had other ideas.” You passively say, your eyes focusing more on the condistation that is forming the glass then James.  

“That sounds cryptic.” Now wondering what kind of team was working for Jensen, and if they were holding him hostage against his will.

You give a short laugh at James' concerned look. You shake your head at this, not wanting to go back to those earlier months. Those months when… 

“No, I mean he got booked on some guest TV spots that I can’t really say what they are, and from there he has been booked with a few charity events.” You quickly explain away. 

Relief washes over James and he lets out a breath, putting a hand on his chest. 

“Oh thank god. I thought we were going to have to get the navy seals involved and rescue the poor man.” 

Letting out a laugh that shakes you out of your funk. God, James is always good at making you smile. 

“No sweetie, no need to call your ex, what was his name Ricky?” You smile, and give him a wink.

“Hey, for you I would call him, even if he left me with the tab that night for him and all his officers. That tab cost me two months rent!”

You giggle at this, remembering how pissed James was, when they skipped out on their tab. 

“I still don’t get it though, it's been six months, you guys couldn’t make something work? Even a long weekend?” He questions.

“I know, it’s stupid really, he left, I was getting ready for my show, and so I was focused on that. Then when that was over, he was off filming, out of the country. We kept trying, but it seemed like everytime one of us was going to meet the other somewhere, he got asked to do an appearance, or a charity function.” you explain, feeling yourself getting depressed all over again. 

Retelling the endless loop of the same conversation over and over just now to James has you sick of hearing it. God, it's stupid really.  

“I mean come on James I can’t be like, ‘no don’t go save the penguins. I have tickets to that music festival I had been talking about since we met and I want to go!’” 

Letting out an exhausted sigh, you lay your head down on the bar counter. Word vomiting it all out can take a lot out of you. Feeling the weight of just getting that off your check was enough to help you breathe a little easier that you didn’t realize you were struggling with until now.

“Oh sweetie…” James starts to say, leaning over and placing a hand on your back. “And you love penguins.”

“I know!” you cry out. “Fuck, I don’t know what I am doing James.” You mumble into the counter with your head still down.

“Can I ask you, did you tell him about your show? I was surprised he wasn’t there, or Jared….or Micha.”

You hesitate for a second. Your surprise this question didn’t come up earlier from him. Setting up, your fust with your hair for a second, and nervous habit of yours. 

“Ummm ... .I may have not invited him” you say sheepishly, bracing yourself for the onslaught of yelling that was sure to come from James.

He takes it in for a bet. “What? Why?” He questions, wondering what you were thinking. Crossing his arms around his torso, and slapping over his face, letting out an audible groan.

“Okay look hear me out.” you start to explain. 

“I was going to, fully prepared to. We were talking, he was back in Texas, I had asked what his plans were for that week, and he told me he would be filming…out of the country.” 

You stop seeing James peek out from behind his hands, and then gestures with the other giving you the universal sign to keep going.

“So I figure no point in telling him, and having us both disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to make it.” 

James let out an exhausted sigh, “Y/N! Come on! He still should have known, even if he couldn’t be there. He could have sent Jared and Gen, or Facetime in, or sent flowers.” 

Throwing the bar rag down in defeat, he leans up against the back bar. “You can’t keep this guy at arms length. You got to let him in.”

“I am not keeping him out! Okay. What good would it have done for me to tell him, if he couldn’t be there? Make him upset, and then he’s not focused on his job, he gets hurt or worse.” 

Getting up from the stool, with your back to the door.

“Besides, why should we even assume that Jared or anyone else famous that he knows would show up to my show or should for that matter. Just because he asked? They're not his lackeys, they're his friends. They don’t even know me!” Yelling back at him.

Frustration is taking over, the fact that he would throw that idea out there, what the hell. Where did that even come from?

“Did you think my new relationship with Jensen would somehow have me rubbing elbows with all his famous friends now?” you question, now wondering if James was hoping that fame would have a trickle down effect to his advantage.

“Well I mean…I thought by now, you would have had a few ‘celebrity sightings’ as they say, but it's also you, and you like your privacy so…no I shouldn’t be surprised by this at all.” James says slightly defeated and passive. 

Feeling defeated yourself, you let your arms fall to your side. You thought coming here would help get your mind off missing Jensen, and wishing like hell you could just tell him how you want to see him, standing right in front of you, not through a screen.

“Well I am sorry to disappoint another man in my life.” You yell, feeling yourself break. Everything was just falling apart, you couldn’t do anything right, everything you were touching was turning to shit!

You didn’t hear the door open and close behind you. Wanting to get off this topic of your dysfunctional relationship you just need to get some air. 

You're about to turn a go but James stops you. 

“Y/N, no stop! You are not a disappointment. Look, I am sorry, I shouldn’t be butting into your relationship, I just want you to be happy.” Coming around the bar, James wraps you in a hug. 

Holding you close, his embrace, is exactly what you need. Pulling you close he mumbles in your ear.

 “I know Jensen makes you happy. Hold onto that, I know you two will make it.”

“I hope you're right, James, I can’t lose him.” you whisper into his neck. Feeling the tears on the cusp of breaking from your eyes.

“I can’t lose you either.” You add.

“You will never lose me, kid.” Giving you a quick kiss on the side of your head, pulling you closer to him.  

Pulling back slightly from James you take a ragged breath. You breath in the sent of leather, and musk, Fuck, you miss Jensen so much your now imagining his smell. 

You give a small laugh at this. 

“What's so funny?” James asks, letting you out of his arms, but still holding onto your hands.

You shake off the laughs, “oh nothing…just…I am really losing it now, because I swear I can smell him….crazy right.”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart.” Jensen’s deep sexy voice fills the air behind you. 

Making your heart stop for a beat, you take a second, before you notice the grin on James face, and you quick spin around to stand face to face with Jensen Fucking Ackles.

“Your here…” is all you whisper out before Jensen pulls you in his arms and his lips find yours and melt with yours. 

Your arms wrap around his shoulders while one of his holds your waist and the other roams your back. His lips fit perfectly with yours and you open your lips slightly to let his tongue slip in and dance with yours. 

You don’t even care that you're standing in front of your best friend, the only thing running through your mind is Jensen, that he is here with you, in your arms, and this is not some dream that you're going to wake up from.

Feeling the need to breathe, you pull aways ever slightly, but still stay in his arms. 

“You're here” you whisper out again.

“I am” he breathly says. 

“How? Why?” You breathly blurt out, your mind not really able to form real words. Jensen’s kisses had that effect on you.

“Drove. Missed you.” Jensen is still catching his breath.

“Why don’t I get you two something to drink and you two can catch up…you know with your words.” James interjects. Giving you both a smile and then turning on his heels and back to the bar.

You feel yourself start to blush, as you slightly care about the public display you just had with Jensen. You hide your face in his chest. 

“He’s never going to let me live this down.” you mumble.

Jensen chuckles at this, and gives the top of your head a quick kiss. 

“Come on, one drink, and then we can get out of here.” He promises. 

Making the short walk to the bar, James has a margarita waiting for you, and beer pulled for Jensen. Before you can even speak James jumps in.

“So Jensen, good to see ya man. What have you been up to? What are you doing in town? How's everyone…”

James is as subtle as a gun, you shake your head at his rambling questions and the obvious question regarding a certain cast member. You take a long drink and just let Jensen handle this one.

“I am good. Busy, the show is on a break right now, so everyone is doing their own thing…” Jensen looks over to you for some guidance for how much of a ‘fan’ James was with Micha and if he should be worried. You just give him a shrug and nothing else. 

“But I will let Micha know you said hi.” he adds, hoping that will suffice.

“Cool, cool.” James says with a smile, shaking his head in agreement. Leaning up against the back bar, not picking up that he should be anywhere but here.

“Umm…James…you think we could…” you passively say, hoping he will get the hint. 

He finally does. Giving you a knowing nod, “sure thing, yep, I got payroll in the back to do.” Pushing off the counter he heads for the office without looking back.

Once James is out of ear shot, you both snicker to each other, turning your chairs so you're facing each other, your knees bumping each other. 

“Oh, boy, James has it bad for Micha. I better give him the heads up.” Jensen says, with a smirk, and taking a drink.

“Oh James is harmless, it's just a crush. Besides, Micha brought it on, when he came to the bar that night, I heard he laid on the charm.” You counter, wanting to stand up for your friend, even though you know James is a total flirt.

“Well, he can be charming, I did teach him a thing or two.” He says, leaning in, draping an arm on the back of your chair to steddy it, and connecting his lips with yours.

Letting them dance for a bit you pull back with a satisfied smile. “You are a charmer Mr. Ackles.”

“Your not bad yourself Miss.Y/L/N”

“So what do I and the fine town of Haven owe the pleasure of your arrival here today, sir?” You question. Hoping that he is here just for you, but being ever the realist.

“Well, as you know, Detroit is the motor capital of the world…”

You cut him short “Yes, I have lived in this state my whole life, don’t need to mansplan or school me in my own state sir.” 

“Okay, sassy much, you're lucky, you're cute, and a good kisser.” He counters by stealing a quick kiss before continuing.

“As I was trying to say, there is a motor city charity function in Detroit this weekend, and they ask for me to make a quick appearance, and we are auctioning off one of the ‘Baby’ from this season's production.”

“Oh, that's cool. So in town for just the weekend then?” You question, trying your best to keep a smile and hopefully your voice at a happy upbeat level. Of course he is here for work.

“Well, yes and no. See, Yes, I have to make an appearance at the action tomorrow night with the car, since I drove it here. But also no, since I told my management team that I need a break, like a real break before I go back to filming the next season.”

“Wow, how did they take that?” Jensen actually asked for time off? Really? Shock doesn’t begin to describe your feelings. Trying your best you're sure your face is failing, by the slight smirk Jensen is giving you. 

“Fine, I mean, they have to be fine with it, I am the one that pays them. They were running me ragged, I was getting so burned out. Our conversations were the only things keeping me from throwing in the towel. I am serious Y/N I was this close to quitting it all buying a lot of land out in the desert.” He says, holding up his thumb and index finger millimeters apart to show just how on the edge he was. 

You shake your head at this, knowing that he would never give up acting, he loves it too much, but still. You slap his hand down, but you keep it intertwined with yours.

“When this came up on the schedule It was like fate was giving me the perfect out. We can spend the next six months getting to really know each other. We can spend time here, go down to Texas. What do you think?” Jensen explains.

You're really taken aback now, he did this all for you, he’s putting his life on hold so he can get to know you. Your crazy if you don’t say something, fuck, say anything!

“I love you!” You blurt out, shocked that those words tumble from your lips, but no one has ever put you first this way. No one has ever put their life on hold for you. Oh fuck, you just said it, fuck, fuck, fuck….

Jensen can see you shocked by what you just said as well. He’s shocked that  you beat him to it. But no more appropriate place than where they first meet, where he first lay eyes on you, where he first knew he loved you. 

Before you can take it back, because he can tell you're so close to back tracking it he cuts you off.

“I love you.” Leaning in, he tenderly kisses you, to seal the deal, and to hopefully chase away any doubts you have running around in that beautiful head of yours.

Pulling away and catching your breath, your doubts about saying that you love him first are washed away. Giving him a mischievous smile you ask.

“So when exactly do you have to get Baby to the Motor City Charity function thing?” getting up from your stool and filling the small space between you two. 

His green eyes, looking up at yours with the same mischief twinkle, he knows where this is going. 

“Last time I asked a certain girl in this bar if she wanted a ride, she turned me down so fast my head was spinning.” He jokes, getting up, and pressing his body against yours. 

“Maybe, you should ask her again, but this time ask Jensen, not Dean.” You break eye contact with him to look down at his hard chest, in a simple gray t-shirt, you let your finger run down the v neckline. 

“Do you want to go for a ride?” His voice is deep and low, but distinctively him, with just a slight Texas drawn that you think he purposefully slipped in for you.

You wrap your arm around his neck and bring his face to you, holding him just inches from you, your breath mixes with his. “Yes…take me home…please.” Your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes ma'am” his texas drawn fully on now. He gives you a chase kiss before stepping out in front of you and taking your hand, leading you out of the bar and towards the side alley. 

You're thankful for the short walk to the car, but Jensen doesn't want to let go of you. Peppering you with kisses with the passenger car door open, he finally concedes and races around to get into the driver side to get his hand into yours again for the short drive to your house. 

You try to take it in that you're riding in Baby right now, next to Jensen Ackles, but for some reason your brain is not letting you process it. You want to look at every inch of this car, but all you can keep your eyes on is the man sitting next to you, the feel of his hand in yours, and the butterflies in your stomach.

The sun is low, casting a beautiful mixture of pinks and oranges in the sky, reflecting off the water as you pass by, the windows down letting in the last of the summer wind. You lean over to flip on the radio to see what Jensen is listening to on the drive and no surprise there, classic rock blasted through the speakers, causing you to laugh out loud and making Jensen smile and hearing your laugh in person, it sounds so much better in person than over Facetime.  

Pulling into your driveway, Jensen shuts off the car, but you two don’t race out of the car yet. Taking in the quietness of the area, the advantage of living in a resort town, most of your neighbors are gone by September. 

There is something about him, Jensen, just makes you feel alive, makes you feel, almost whole again. He makes you comfortable with yourself, and your confidence overtakes you. That you slide over to him. Your lips find his neck and you start to kiss. His breath hitches, and he picks you up so you can straddle his lap.

Breaking from his lips for a second to explore his neck again, and start to leave marks up and down in. Jensen, breaks the silence. 

“You know, your house is right there, we don’t have to act like some horny school kids.” He jokes, but then leans in and starts to kiss your neck and chest to make his own marks to match the ones he knows you started to make on him.

“I know but…fuck…” You try to form a sentence but can only string a few words together before your mind is distracted by his lips.

He pulls back giving you a wink, “you started this.” he smirks back.

“No, you started this, six months ago, when you kissed me for the first time.” You counter, putting the blame back on him. Anding to torture by rocking agist him slightly.

Jensen lets out a small grown at this, his hands have found their way to the hem of your vintage concert t-shirt. It's soft between his finger tips, but he would rather have something else that soft between them. He quickly looks to the left and right of him, noticing that the houses on either side look abandoned, closed up for the summer season. It's almost dusk, but still light out enough that anyone passing by could see. He’s tempted, lord knows, seeing more of her, has never been an issue for him. But this is all new for Y/N, and it is her hometown.

“Fine, but just for the record, you started this. Six months and one week ago. Back in that bar. When you gave me that look and told me….what was it again…my Dean Winchester was showing?” He jokes. Giving her that thousand watt smile, then pulling her down for a searing kiss.     

Pulling back from him and letting your lungs fill with air, you reply, “God you're cute. Come on, let's get inside, before the neighbors start talking. We can order dinner.” Doing your best, but failing to gracefully get off his lap and onto the other side of the bench seat. You push open the passenger door, and get out.

*********

Dinner of pizza, classic movies, and popcorn were on the list of festivities for the night. Having Jensen in the same space was perfect, it was easy, there were no awkward fumbles of getting in each other's way, you seemed to move with ease. 

After the second movie you were both getting tired, You were tired from the emotional rollercoaster ride that you went on today, and Jensen was tired driving from Texas to Michigan. 

Letting out a yawn for the fourth time Jensen finally called you out. “Alright that's it.” Picking up the remote from the coffee table and shutting off the tv.

“Hey, come on, we can finish it, I am fine really.” You say, before another yawn hits.

This causes him to yawn as well. “No, come on. I am tired too.” Getting up from the couch, he grabs your hand and leads you to the bedroom.

Both dressed down in your comfy clothes after dinner, him in gray sweats and a white shirt, you in black leggings and purple tank top.

He gives you a kiss before turning towards the guest room, but you stop him. 

“Where are you going?” You question, still holding onto his hand.

Turning back to you he looks at your still interlocking hand, and then to you. “I just thought…well…I didn’t want to assume.”

He starts to explain, but you cut him off, pulling him back to you, bringing your one hand behind his head and pulling it towards you and wrapping your other around his waist. Crashing his lips into yours. You back into the doorframe, and he braces himself so he doesn’t put his full weight on you. 

Pulling out of the intense kiss, you take a second to breathe. 

“You're not staying in that spare room. I was stupid enough to have you sleep in there once before, but never again.” You say matter of fact. Walking back into the room, pulling him along. 

Jensen follows, kicking the door closed behind him, happy to follow wherever you go.

The End.....(for now)

Tag List:

@ladysparkles78 @smoothdogsgirl @n-o-p-e-never @stoneyggirl2 @lmhf1 @kr804573 @deansimpalababy @livingdeadblondequeen @winchesterwild78 @foxyjwls007

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hi Nalyra, this was not my ask but thank you for the detailed analysis either way I enjoyed it very much!

I agree with a lot of what you said! Personally I am not sure about the possible revisions or theories but they are planning some arcs for sure and their manner of execution remains to be seen. Some changes work for television purposes, others...not so much. However for me, one thing that will put me off the show for good, and I don't know if anyone else shares this opinion, is what you briefly mentioned in your post about the trial setup. After everything in season 1, having Lestat in any way want Louis and Claudia to suffer what they suffered in the hands of the coven is crossing a line I never even imagined we would have to draw in the first place. The racial implications alone...it's just too nasty. I honestly can't understand how the creators themselves cannot see what they are doing.

After s02 I sometimes get the impression that they dont differentiate between characters, to them Armand, Lestat, Louis hell even Santiago are the same in terms of nastiness because they're all vampires and that makes them all equal somehow. For me in order to have a successful adaptation of Anne Rices VC universe they at least have to make the protagonist (Lestat) likeable enough to want the audience to follow him for many seasons. How that went over their heads really confuses me and I guess only season 3 can tell and then we'll have our answer? 😅 hopes and prayers for all of us lestat fans out there !

Glad you liked!

The thing is, I said this before, but it bears repeating - season 3 will be make or break for what they are trying to do I think.

It will show if they can, indeed, pull it off - they might! I DO hope they do, because, this is it - this is what we'll get. I waited 30 years for this. I WILL enjoy it. And, thanks to Sam to a large extent, there's "enough" of the book Lestat in the show one to... see him. If that makes sense.

As per the trial...

I don't think Lestat wanted them to suffer.

But I DO think that in this older, more jaded, and as said maybe also bewildered Lestat that he had a bit of a grim... "see that's what you get for not listening to me" - attitude coming to Paris (and the show had Louis spell out that he was aware and dismissed Lestat trying to keep them safe(!) in 2x02).

Lestat did, quite obviously come to save them, just as in the books.

But, just as in the books, he was also quite focused on Louis.

I want to add here that both the script Anne wrote for the movie, as well as the script that ultimately made it on screen have these scenes!

They did not make it into the movie, but I think it is important to know the two versions, because I think the show plays with them - and with them both at that (Rolin has stated that he looked at all the materials, including Tulane).

This is from Anne's script, the 1992 version:

And THIS is from the actual movie script by Neil Jordan, 1993:

Notice the subtle, but important differences:

Anne's script is of course very close to the books, has Lestat befuddled, in and out of consciousness, there in an effort stemming from... love.

Neil's script actually has Lestat voice that Claudia is to blame. Lestat also clarifies, albeit also quite befuddled, that he's ultimately there for healing... and for Louis.

The show has been doing a mixture of this.

Supposedly revenge, instances of clear befuddlement and obvious signs that Lestat is not alright, dressed to the nines, presented as a witness, while the judgement had long been passed.

I'm not sure what final version they'll land on when Lestat has had his say in season 3 will be. But what we have seen so far, as hard as it may be to accept - has been established already... even if it had been cut out of the theatre version of the movie.

Interestingly enough though, Neil's script also has that hint, that Lestat has to tell Louis something about "that night"... and I always found this extremely interesting. But that just as a note.

I do think you are hitting the nail on the head though that to Rolin and Hannah they're simply... vampires. And killers. More or less all the same.

When it's a major point of the VC actually, that they are not "just" that.

[wauzmons]

We have been Betrayed, Backstabbed, Bamboozled: The Future of Elysian Eclipse

So, if you are active on our Discord, you know that EE is made in the Unity Engine and the CEO just decided to massively fuck over all the devs who are using it...

Callum Upton made a great video explaining the situation:

But it gets even worse!

Unity since defended themselves, saying that these fees are only affecting 10% of their customers, because of the $200k and $1m thresholds, so Indie devs don't have to worry about that.

…which isn't true:

Unity Plus

They aren't only introducing these fees but also changed the regular pricing plans! They just removed "Unity Plus" which is the lowest tier and costs about $50/month per dev with taxes. This is what most indies use. The next higher tier costs QUADROUPLE that amount and is also required to remove the universally loathed "made with Unity" splash screen. Oh! And if you have the personal tier, you won't be able to use Unity offline anymore! It now needs to do a license check every 3 days to function!

Unity's Ad Service

The fees will hit devs that do free-to-play mobile stuff especially hard, since they still have to pay the fees even when the players don't buy anything, meaning they could end up owing Unity more than they make in income. But what's this? If you use Unity's advertising service for your game, you will get a discount on the fees! The majority of mobile games run on Unity, meaning they are trying to monopolize the mobile ad market with this!

Publishers

Elysian Eclipse has caught the interest of a really big studio and publisher, who is considering to handle the marketing and publishing for the game. They are obviously planning to make the game come out big with sales, going beyond Unity's thresholds. But since the game is made in Unity, they probably now have to reconsider that carefully, since that would cause a massive amount of fees with Unity's new pricing model. So any game using Unity is now an instant turn-off for publishers, also massively hurting indie devs who don't reach that income threshold yet.

What will happen now?

So, Unity can't be trusted anymore and should be seen as a major threat to us and the gaming industry. Even if they walk back on some of these decisions, what has been said, has been said. They showed that they don't care about destroying thousands of games, as long as it nets them profit, so who knows what they are going to do next?

I will pause the development of Elysian Eclipse and release the Patreon demo, including all the prototypes like Aquatic Stage for free today. I canceled my subscription and it will run out next year, so Unity isn't getting a single cent from my games anymore.

Unreal Eclipse?

In the meantime I'll focus on improving my C++ skills, so I can work more effectively in Unreal Engine 5. Unreal is the current industry leader, offering much better solutions for graphics and performance for 3D games. It is also partially open source and completely free until you reach $1 million in revenue.

It is unlikely that I will be able to just translate the game from C# to C++ and port it over, since it is using a lot of engine-specific features. This basically means, we will start from scratch... I can't tell yet how much work this will be or in what ways the game will change.

But one thing, you can always be certain of: I will NEVER BETRAY MY DREAM. I will finish this project, no matter who or what stands in my way. I hope you will continue to support me on this journey.

That being said,

FUCK JOHN RICCITIELLO!!

Fucking cunt.

[kwimii999]

how do you balance sims with university? i’m having a hard time with that and was wondering how a fellow university student simmer handles it

Hi ! I'm more so in college than university ! I'm from Québec so our education system is quite different because of a thing called CÉGEP. It's a bit similar to what a college would be :)

To be truthful, at first I didn't manage it well at all. I had various breakdowns, it was actually kinda hard for me. So I took a break from creating content so I could stabilize my college situation. Now, I maximum always take 4 classes and during semesters I always make sure I dont work more than 12 hours per week. I make content when I feel like it and do not pressure myself at all. I learned it the hard way that when you pressure yourself to make content it just leads to burnout. Seems obvious but sometimes you have to experience the obvious to truly learn :) Taking less classes and allowing myself atleast days off on my weekdays is what truly changed it for me. Sometimes with only 4 classes I might end up having 2 or 3 days with no classes if Im lucky ! That's some good time to take care of myself and especially go outside by myself or with friends.

Knowing your limits

Overall, how I would say that I do it ? I think it was learning what amount of workload would overwhelm me when it came to my classes, I learned that 4 classes is perfect for me. I started college with 6 classes and that made me burntout, and then I did 5 and the same thing happened. I then tried 4 classes and I had no difficulty nor was it too stressful. However, I'm someone who isn't interested in finishing school as fast as I can so I don't care that it might take me 5/6 years to finish college !

Stressful work environments

Another factor is, if you're working, having a job in an atmosphere that isn't stressful. I luckily landed a good job with very kind coworkers, compared to when I worked in fast food, it was really stressful and I couldn't even handle that job anymore. So I quit. Having a job that stres you out can mentally drain you and can make you feel less inclined to work on school work/content creation from my experience.

Taking care of you

it's truly about managing and knowing how much pressure you can take but while still allowing yourself to breathe, to take care of yourself, making sure you eat, basically body, mind and soul ! But the key with content creation is that only do it/make time for it once everything else in your life has been taken care of and that includes you. You are very important.

Stay organized with your content

Make lists, folders, to-dos, anything that helps you and that you usually use for organizing yourself, use it. It makes you more inclined to get back to work once you have some free time to spare on making content and you end up enjoying it more !

Higher education can be very hard, but it taught me so many things about myself and showed me that I could trust myself more than I thought. Don't give up ❤️ :3

[lemedstudent2021]

4 years ago when the dumbfuck (biden) won, i was a first year university student, nodding along solemnly when my family briefly discussed foreign and internal politics over our tea, pleased to be finally old enough to somewhat contribute to adult conversations.

i still clearly remember my aunt saying "well, he isnt any better [than his predecessor] but at least he cant be worse". the conversation moved on from there, but my thoughts lingered. i didnt know if i wanted to be a cynic or an optimist, so i drank my tea in silence.

--

this past year has been one of the darkest in our human history, the scale of death and destruction and pure unadulterated depravity is unmatched. it will truly be long before the world can hope to recover from the atrocious damage that has been dealt, if it ever does.

i wont go into details mainly because i havent the time nor interest in doing so, but the world to no ones surprise is changing, fast and taking a turn for the worse. it has been for years perhaps even decades now. in the grand scheme of things i mean.

for many of us this is nothing new per se, merely a tangible extension of our worst nightmares and fears, but for many others its a reign of terror of the most potent kind. one that will herald further losses, but this time around very few will be spared.

--

despite myself i did think that common sense would prevail and wed see the the fucker (trump) behind bars and hopefully dead and not- as of writing- about to win another 4 wretched years in office.

theres a sort of grim satisfaction seeing the bitch (harris) getting a big fuck you to the face, but its devastating to think that she is losing has already lost? to the biggest fuck you to the planet. i truly dont want to imagine what the world is going to look like 4 years from now. if there is anything left of the world to look at.

--

there isnt much to say or add i think. nothing i can contribute at least for the time being. i would however like to point to what jon stewart bless his soul has to say about the matter

esp at 02:15

sounds hypocritical to say after having said nothing but the worst, but i mean it when i believe that this isnt the end. to give up now is to doom ourselves and the rest of the world (and perhaps the trajectory of humanity itself, whos to say) into eternal darkness.

ive said it many a time on this blog before and ill continue to say it for as long as there is life in me; power will always be with the people. weve seen it time and time again throught history and before our eyes. we are a force to be reckoned with.

we do hold the power to change the tides, look how many countries fought with everything they had for their freedom, how many times we arose from the ruins and started building anew and with just as much fervour, how much damage we can do to the institutions that dare to transgress.

war brings out the worst in some but the best in others. this is a war, one the corrupt wage on the sanctity of our lives and human rights, one were all on the front lines of, for ourselves and those around us.

--

as cliche as it is, and i admit to it being so, our chances honestly are better when we move and act as one. dont be fooled into thinking our differences will seperate us; those in power follow the age old rule of divide and conquer & thrive when we are scattered and lost.

show them that our spirit is one and whole, prove to them that we wont give into their unjust demands. look out for one another and dont hesitate to come to each others aid. be kind to yourselves.

humanity as a whole literally and metaphorically depends on it.

Godbless & Godspeed

[yuzurujenn]

[2025.01.25] Xinhua News Agency - 30-minute conversation with 30-year-old Yuzuru Hanyu

Xinhua News Agency reporter Qian Zheng and Yang Zhixiang

I met Yuzuru Hanyu at a filming base in the northwest of his hometown, Sendai. Away from the ever-changing lights and shadows of the ice, and without the dazzling costume, the two-time Winter Olympic gold medalist in men’s singles figure skating sitting across from me appeared as simple and approachable as a neighbour boy.

Hanyu recently celebrated his 30th birthday and launched his second solo tour, "Echoes of Life," on his birthday. This is the third installment of his solo ice performance series "Ice Stories," following "Gift" and "RE_PRAY," where Hanyu himself serves as both the performer and the executive producer.

Unlike his previous solo ice shows, which featured only two or three new routines each time, "Echoes of Life" consists of 12 major performances, most of which are new. Through these pieces, Hanyu is able to tell a grand story that seeks to answer the profound question, "What is life?" He has been contemplating life ethics since childhood and even studied related courses during university. He has woven his philosophical interests and thoughts on the "meaning of life" into this self-scripted, self-directed, and self-performed "Ice Story."

Hanyu explained, “When I express myself, figure skating is still the first and foremost medium. Because I’ve always used skating, it feels as natural to me as speaking. This way, it’s closer to expressing what I really want to say.”

Since announcing in July 2022 that he would no longer compete in figure skating competitions and instead pursue a career in professional figure skating, Hanyu has devoted more time and energy to expressing himself through his skating programs. He said, “When I was competing, I had to complete jumps to earn points. I was always thinking about elements like footwork and the number of rotations, while also considering how to match the music. Now that I have more freedom, I focus on whether the program expresses the essence of the music and what I most want to communicate."

His pursuit of expression has made figure skating much more than just a sport for Hanyu. "When I create a program, I don’t think about it solely from a figure skating perspective but as a form of expression. I incorporate many different elements and try to absorb content that I find cool and beautiful," he explained.

Without the constraints of competition, he has even experimented with improvisational performances. While all three of his "Ice Stories" were created in collaboration with a top Japanese choreographer, Hanyu believes that truly identical performances cannot be replicated. "When trying to express genuine emotions, improvisation is better," he said.

However, he admits that it’s very difficult to express himself freely. He aims to create new and original movements, but the movements he is most skilled at, those deeply ingrained in his body, unconsciously sneak into his routines. Moreover, he says that figure skating is different from track sports. Even with a simple hand movement, the feet will slide, so sometimes, even if he wants to perform such a move, it is not easy to do so.

Yet, pushing beyond what’s easy and reaching uncharted territory is what this prince of figure skating, who has broken 19 world records and achieved two Grand Slams and a Super Grand Slam, relentlessly pursues.

He told reporters that he now practices about five hours a day on average, sometimes up to six hours, with one day off per week. This is a higher training volume than before. In competitions, a program lasts no more than 4 minutes 30 seconds to 4 minutes 40 seconds, but now he must perform for over two hours continuously. This requires not only muscle strength but also lung capacity.

He trains for explosiveness using weights like barbells and dumbbells, works on building his endurance and focus, and practices breathing techniques, facial expression management, and core strength required for his two-and-a-half-hour performances.

His schedule is packed with almost no complete rest days. He constantly thinks about the content of his performances and engages in imagery training. On the afternoon we interviewed him, he had to face five media outlets for a total of five hours. Even on such a busy day, he was thinking about training afterward. He mentioned that he still enjoys playing video games, but with his increased training load, he doesn’t know what to do on rest days anymore.

Technically, his skills are on par with current competitors, his expressiveness has reached perfection, and his physical strength is also impressive. However, regarding the various speculations about whether he will compete in the 2026 Winter Olympics, Hanyu stated that he has no plans to return to the competitive arena.

"Now, I can finally pursue the figure skating expression I want to see first, skating, jumping, spinning, and so on. When I skate now, the people around me are those who truly want to see me skate, who hope to see me skate. I’ve finally arrived in a world where I can express what I want to express, skate the way I like, and perform skating that I think looks beautiful and fantastic, and receive praise for it. As for going back to competitions, I’m not interested."

Without the direct standards of judges' scores and the value of medals, this professional figure skater says the expectations of the audience are the driving force behind his continuous efforts. The atmosphere at his ice shows and the enthusiasm of the audience serves as his criteria for evaluating his own work.

Hanyu said that it is precisely because the audience always comes to watch his performances that he can keep pushing himself. If he were alone, he wouldn't be able to convey his thoughts to anyone, and such so-called expression would have no value, becoming something hollow. But when there are people to receive his message, and they also expect his performance, that becomes his motivation. "So, I now place great importance on conveying my thoughts to the audience."

Rather than the size of the audience's cheers and applause, Hanyu cares more about the warm atmosphere of the event. "The audience who comes to watch my performances doesn’t focus on whether I succeed or fail, win or lose, they are simply there to enjoy my performance," Hanyu said. "In moments like this, I can truly feel the enthusiasm of the audience, and they are deeply immersed in my story and program. That’s my criterion for evaluation. Because I’m skating for everyone."

It is precisely because of this desire to skate for others that Hanyu often says, "No matter what, I will keep working hard, even if it shortens my life. Otherwise, I won’t be able to accept it." He will repeatedly bow and thank the audience near the end of each performance, even when he is exhausted and struggling to catch his breath. He will also remind the audience to be careful on their way home after the show.

In the past, Yuzuru Hanyu imagined that turning 30 would make him feel like an "old man." However, after the birthday performance for "Echoes of Life," he told reporters that if he were to think in terms of baseball or soccer, 30 would mark the period when experience, feeling, and skills begin to reach their peak.

As he said during the interview, “I do see 30 as a milestone year, but for me, it’s just a simple repetition of December 7th for 30 years. Goals and dreams change every day. For instance, when ‘Echoes’ starts, I focus on performing well in that, but once it ends, I move on to pursue something new.”

In a sport like figure skating, where athletes often retire from competition by 30, most would transition to other roles behind the scenes. But for Yuzuru Hanyu, turning 30 may simply mean he’s one year older. His name may still be associated with many “firsts” in the future.

Source: http://www.news.cn/world/20250125/4efcbf22b5ec483ab436c4d625833c96/c.html

[inastarlesssky]

More Dreamuse thoughts because I had some realizations I came to. This scene is living rent-free in my head and I've just had some thoughts so have this is in mind, k?

Dream: The last time I saw you, you said you would never speak to me again. Calliope: I'm sorry, I had I did not know where else to turn. Dream: You misunderstand me. [steps ever so slightly closer to her] When I heard you call to me, even after all this time...let me help you. Please.

So because of a recent fixation upon The Sandman Netflix series, and after watching the series all the way through, I've started thinking about Dream of the Endless and turning over in my head the little details one can pick up on while watching the episodes. Just personally, I tend to think (a little too much probably) on things but when something catches my attention, well, all the more so.

That being said, in the first few episodes, I observed that Dream's reactions or emotional responses weren't...hm very strong, per se. Or rather, he might not always have shown on his face the emotion you can clearly hear in his voice. I thought that was really interesting because, well, as human beings, if someone's angry/sad/hurt, you will more often than not see that in a facial expression (granted, of course, people are different, and some are more expressive than others....I'm not trying to make a universal statement here, just making comparisons). Note that Dream of the Endless is not human. He is an anthropomorphic entity that according to Tom Sturridge is basically (damnit I can't remember how Tom said it in the interview) the collective unconsciousness of the world--dreams and dreaming and all that.

He's not human. Which means he will, accordingly, react to and perceive and experience things in ways different to us human beings. Keep that in mind.

It seemed to me a little subtle reminder to me of exactly that, he's not human. He's distant in a way. He definitely does still feel things, very strongly sometimes even. But his way of expression is different. Anyway, I digress.

So on a lovely server I just joined, I posed this question and the folks there pointed out that it's true, Dream doesn't necessarily vocalize an emotional response, but if it's very strong or boils over, then yes. Now I take 'vocalize an emotional response' in two ways:

saying "I feel [angry/sad/frustrated/insert whatever emotion]"

Showing in a change of the tone of voice or making some sort of comment that will give insight related to said emotional response

I've never seen him do the first and we shouldn't, because that doesn't make for very good storytelling. The showing is more frequently better than the telling, I believe. But I want to draw your attention to the second point, and most specifically to that scene when he's talking to Calliope shortly before he ruins Arthur Madoc's life.

She tells him about her plight, and he responds by saying he'll take care of everything she's asked him to, basically. She frowns at this and asks him, "Why? Because I was once yours?" He answers with a quiet, "Because he hurt you" and then continues with the quote I put at the beginning of this spiel.

"The last time I saw you, you said you would never speak to me again." - Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm imagining things. But I could have sworn I noticed a little, almost imperceptible change in his tone when he delivered this line. Without knowing any of the history they had (I know a little bit more now than I did then... but in that moment, no), I could tell that this was something painful for him. Something he'd been hurt by. (I know that it's all just 'poor Morpheus', they both suffered, and they were both hurt, and I could go off on a whole 'nother thing for that)

But my point is that, he's hurt. He mentions this to her, not directly telling her that, but reminding her of what she'd said to him so many years ago. Something that wounded him. Despite that, he has willingly and most readily come to her assistance when she called him.

That's it. Just offering that up for consideration.