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#it's also pretty even odds that I'll keep going with what I was doing and have it be canon-divergent
cyanide-latte · 3 days
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Honestly the most gratifying thing about my undercut that doesn't have to do with gender is that now I actually get genuine compliments on my hair.
I have naturally very curly hair. It is also very dark but has been steadily turning white since I was 15 (I'll be 35 in October.) I've had it long before, and most often in my life I've had it cut very short in a boyish style.
And my entire life, the comment I heard most was "is your hair naturally curly?" (always said with a dubious tone even when I was little, because I guess other 5-year-olds must have been getting perms) And it's usually always followed by "I wish I had hair like that, I'd kill for your hair" or some variation thereof.
I was told this was a compliment. As an autistic child who hated my curls for the longest time, this frustrated me. It never sounded like a compliment, it never felt like a compliment, and if they wanted my hair so bad, they ought to find a way to trade with me.
As I got older, into my late teens and early twenties, I made peace with the curls, even though I still got those same "compliments". But since I'd been getting increasingly white hair since age 15, they were now accompanied by people criticizing my "highlight job" and my choice to "mix in blonde". Looking people square in the eyes and saying "I don't have highlights, my hair's just been going white since I was 15" usually got semi-gratifying results when people backpedaled like hell, but a lot of them also would then criticize me for not dying the white to hide it.
I was constantly trying to alter my style for my hair my entire life and I don't even like styling my hair, but it caused me no end of upset to hear these things. I figured I was always doomed to be miserable about my hair. My body is already sensitive as hell to so many things I can only use specific products on my hair safely, but it hurt that my mother and grandmother tried so hard to help me understand people did like my hair, when the comments I heard sounded like criticism and an insinuation that other people deserved my hair.
And then 2020's COVID lockdown meant I couldn't get my summer cut to shorten my hair so I wouldn't overheat. At least, the person I usually went to couldn't do my hair.
So between desperation to find a way to keep all the weight of thick, heat-trapping dark curls off my neck and shoulders, and the desire to try something new as a subtle means of better expressing my gender, I decided to try an undercut. My partner and I looked up photos for reference, used an electric razor that was typically reserved for his hair, and decided what to do. Several layers underneath in the back would have to be shaved off completely (more than we initially anticipated, believe it or not,) and I wanted the shave to come around my left side. Just shave the left half of my head, because for some reason heat would constantly get trapped there as well as at the back of my neck. (Dunno why that didn't happen the same way with my right side, but hey, we've established I'm pretty odd.)
It was a relief, both physically and in terms of gender euphoria when I looked in the mirror and heard my partner's loving exclamation of "oh! there you are!" And it was also a relief when my mother and grandmother loved my new hair, especially when my grandmother said "that suits you best of all. You should always keep your hair that way." (Grandma passed in February of this year, and she never wavered in her love of my new hairstyle.)
But then, it started happening. Not just with family, friends and coworkers, but random strangers, at least once a week, often more than once a week. Someone would come up to me and say "I LOVE your hair! It's so cool!" I'd never heard that before.
I have quickly learned an added benefit of the undercut is that, with the left side of my head being shaved, it's incredibly easy for people to realize that my hair IS naturally curly, and to see my white pattern where my hair is growing back in on that side. And I've gotten compliments on that too! Both people talking about how dynamic my curls make the undercut, and several others telling me that my white pattern is beautiful and they hope I never think to dye it.
It's slowed down a bit since then but it still happens every couple of weeks. A little while ago at work, a regular [teen] patient came in with her mom, who approached me to ask about my undercut because she (the mom) has been hesitant to let her child try an undercut, but on seeing my hair, she changed her mind and wanted to know about my experience. Said kid still doesn't have an undercut yet, but they've been changing up their hair and presenting more queer in their dress, and they've started shyly waving to me when they see me. And yesterday, during grocery shopping, as I was waiting for my partner to get back from grabbing something, an older lady slowed down, came over to me, and just said "Excuse me, pardon me, you just have the most beautiful hair. That style is so striking, and your curls are wonderful with it. That's all. I just wanted to tell you you have gorgeous hair" and then she left.
It's so strange how that impulsive choice to take a shot on a new style not only became something I love for me and my personal expression of self, but is the thing that finally, truly has brought me compliments on my hair for the first time in my life. Real compliments that make me feel good.
So I guess what I'm saying in this overly long ramble is 1: I'm forever grateful this has happened and is happening to me, 2: for anyone struggling with similar, this is a reassurance that things can and will get better, 3: change can be terrifying but this is a very good example of a drastic change that wasn't going to have harmful repercussions for me personally, and the fact it turned out so well is both a confidence- and courage-booster. It's worth taking a shot on, because so far it's brought me nothing but joy. Sure, it requires frequent maintenance to keep up with the shaving part because my hair grows fast, but it's a small price to pay for a cooler head (in more than one sense!) and the positive interactions that have resulted.
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hella1975 · 2 years
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I'm not done yet but hey are you giving zuko eldest daughter trauma because I'll fucking kill you I read ONE line it's probably the first of what's to come but I'm sending the hate ask now xoxo
ofc i wouldn't do that! he's just fistfighting a saviour complex and is eternally burdened by the responsibility of raising and caring for his sister while simultaneously being a child himself and always putting himself before the worst of the war so that azula doesn't have to all the while growing more and more rage towards the situation until it all comes out in a very cataclysmic scene that i will definitely cry at when writing :)
#he's got that fiona gallagher in him#big thief rlly went to town with mythological beauty and 'there is a child inside you who is trying to raise a child in me' v tams zukocore#the funny thing about zuko and azula's relationship is that yes it's kinda wholesome but it is still ultimately fucked#and yet i find them pretty easy to write bc i literally just go 'what would me and my sister be like in this situation'#like ive said before how my sister never really stepped up as the eldest and ive always felt like we shared that role#like i'll give it to her she's better at being the eldest in certain situations and im better in others#and it's always been us helping our mum bc as capable and brilliant as my mum is she's also doing everything alone#and her temper is... not great. so me and my sister took care of each other in our own way#and by 'our own way' i mean we have NEVER had a stereotypical relationship. our age gap is too small and we're both too mean#literally zuko's ch1 quote about 'they'd never been protective of each other' is directly inspired by me and my sister#i dont feel protective of her i dont feel a need to keep her safe and happy and it's really odd bc i KNOW im supposed to but i just dont#and she doesnt for me even though she's the 'eldest'. and yet i love her and would kill and die for her#and also if we were in this situation and we were trying to shield each other#from certain horrors that we thought the other couldn't handle then we'd have to be SO CLEVER ABOUT IT#bc just like zuko with azula if i caught my sister trying to patronise me/protect me i would HIT THE ROOF#like i am thoroughly convinced there is nothing she can handle that i cant and vice versa so we'd have to be soooo slick about it#and while with zuko and azula that only holds to an extent bc azula is ultimately YEARS younger than zuko#and whatever you think of her personality she just straight up should not be exposed to certain things#(neither should zuko but yk what i mean)#it still stands and we see throughout tams the v clever ways zuko has learned to protect azula so that she doesnt catch on#like either the next chapter or the one after (probs the one after) there's a really horrific scene#that's just super dark and gory and while with a normal younger sibling you'd do something to keep their eyes on you and not on the scene#like lie to them or make it into a game or something so they're unaware of what's happening#but instead zuko sees what's happening and before azula can he quickly gets her to check their supplies and count their money or some shit#like giving her a job to acknowledge her capability and not patronise her while still shielding her from a really brutal scene#and it just goes over zuko's head that at sixteen he ALSO SHOULD NOT BE EXPOSED TO THAT#but long story short i just think that's so funny. like the fire hazards are sooo fucked and for good reason#but it literally just boils down to me and my dumbass sister#so yeah. very niche eldest daughter syndrome emanating from tams zuko#ask
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Month 5, day 8, mah boi is done! All shaded and highlighted and nice and pretty :3 Uh, no halo for him, though >.> I'll give you three guesses what I realized I hadn't made for him when I was adding the final touches >.> First two guesses don't count >.>;
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iid-smile · 2 months
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sunrise and sunset , nanami kento
x fem!clingy!reader ! nanami calls the reader "love" and "darling". the reader cuddles with nanami!!! the reader also loses sleep because of his love because thats cute.
author's note: nanami is so yellow but there's no option for it so he has to be orange </3 tell me why i was actually swooning while i was thinking about these scenarios in my head? especially the second one???? i think everybody agrees that nanami is a listener 100%
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sunrise.
nanami always wakes up before you. he used to get up as soon as his eyes opened, but nowadays, he has a little something holding him down.
it seems like you never fall asleep on your side. that's partly his fault, since he's always beckoning you to come closer to him. but even then, in the morning, he feels himself teetering off the edge of the bed, with two arms wrapped around his neck, and his now asleep arm still wrapped around your waist. slightly dangerous for him, but as long as you feel comfortable, then nothing else matters. seeing your pretty face first thing every day was a blessing.
"kento..." there it is. your tiny mumbles of you waking up.
nanami's lips immediately curl upwards at the sound of your voice. as gently as he can, he sits up more against the headboard, keeping your head laid on his chest. "i hear you." he responds.
the bedroom is quiet and tranquil. he specifically bought black out curtains for your sake, but considering the price, they really weren't doing the best job. mornings in summer were relentless, taking into the account how early the sun rises, and it would wake you up in the middle of your sleep with how bright it was outside. no worries though, since he has plans to replace them very soon.
you mumble again, lips grazing against his shirt. "why aren't you up yet?"
"i don't have work today." obviously a lie. you may be a bit dumb, but you're well aware it's a weekday today, and nanami isn't the best liar.
you lift your head, gaze shooting up to meet with his. "yes, you do! it's a wednesday." you whisper-yell. "you should be up 'nd getting ready..."
"my day doesn't start until yours does." you feel his hand on top of your head, coaxing you to lay it back down. "if i'm late for work, that's fine. you're more important to me." his touch moves up to your upper arm, and his thumb rubs in lazy circles. "go back to sleep, love. you're tired."
"you're too sappy 'n sweet... gonna make me swoon every time you open your mouth, i swear." you grumble.
"then i'll catch you every time."
"stop!"
sunset.
nanami always reads a book before bed. it's usually historical genres, he's not a big fan of sci-fi or comedy. but sometimes, he'll let himself indulge in the odd romance book here and there. why? they're your favourite genre, the books you read. he memorises each different author that he spots you reading, often gifting you another one of their works if he knows you're not having a good day.
finally, you emerge from the bathroom door, a few folded clothes ready to be put away in the laundry hamper. when you turn to him, you watch his eyes intently as they follow the words on the pages. "that's..?"
"i saw you enjoying it this afternoon." he flips a page. you move closer to the bed, crawling on top of the mattress and inviting yourself into the blankets. "you looked particularly thrilled during it. what do you like about this story?"
you pause, thinking over the entire plot. "it reminds me of us."
nanami can only smile, and he doesn't miss the one on your face. closing the book, he places it on the bedside table, and scoops his other arm underneath you. naturally, you rest your head on his shoulder, and hook one of your legs over his. the small distance between the two of you felt that much more intimate that you felt the need to lower your voice. "are you going to sleep?"
"no." the hand wrapped around your waist moves up to your head, just placing it on top of your scalp. "i want you to talk. you seem eager to talk about it."
you giggle inwardly, snuggling impossibly closer to him. "i'm so in love with you." you whisper.
"i love you too, darling. more than words can express." he whispers back.
no wonder you always wake up so late. it's because nanami always has your heart beating too fast before you go to sleep.
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ozzgin · 7 months
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okay, hear me out: mean girl!reader x nerdy/sub!yandere
nerd!yan who gets bullied by you all the time, with harsh name calling and forcing him to do your homework.
nerd!yan who grows intrigued with you. you’re so confident, so pretty, so cool! how can he not like you?
nerd!yan who’s slowly growing more obsessed. his breath hitches whenever you loom over him with that annoyingly hot smirk of yours, calling him such mean, degrading names
nerd!yan who gets jealous whenever he sees you targeting someone else. you can’t bully them!! you should pay attention to him and only him. oh well, he’ll just have to eliminate the competition, so you can go back to “tormenting” him again.
nerd!yan who’s really such a pervert! he followed you home and was pleasuring himself to your scent that lingered on your clothing… such dirty behaviour!
mean girl!reader who returns home to find one of her classmates in her bedroom, and how can she not smile at the sight? he’s so pretty, such a cute little plaything…
mean girl!reader who had always been aware of nerd!yan’s obsessive tendencies, and played along. but now that he’s been caught red handed…
mean girl!reader who degrades poor nerd!yan for being such a disgusting pervert, but submits to nerd!yan’s fantasies anyway. she plays with him, leaving harsh love bites and scratches over his soft skin, reducing him to a moaning, whiney mess.
nerd!yan who’s basically your pet now, obediently following you throughout school, happily accepting all your orders, no matter how demeaning or gross they are.
people who even dare look your way with romantic interest? they get disposed of in…well, let’s just say, messy. oh, but not that nerd!yan will ever let you see it happen! your precious, beautiful eyes should be shielded from such violent acts. but if you ever ask… tilt your head playfully with a soft smile and ask him to let you watch, he might.
tldr; mean girl and a nerdy yandere that are both equally toxic for each other
have an awesome day!! I would really like to see you write a concept like this <3
-Ash
A/N: I'm including someone else's request as I think they mesh well together: "a mean bully!reader with a yandere!loser, where reader basically just uses him like a pet and has him do whatever she wants" I'll be doing my best, but do keep in mind this is written by a loser nerd so I can't guarantee accuracy. I also don't want to be too mean, even if it's hypothetical, y'know? 😭
Nerd! Loser! Yandere x Mean Girl! Bully! Reader
They say being in the right relationship motivates you to strive for the best version of yourself. Sometimes, the opposite is true. What happens when your soulmate brings out your most depraved self?
Content: female reader, mildly NSFW, obsessive behavior, violence, bullying, loser is meant in a loving way, yandere consents to everything
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You really aren't that bad of a person. Or at least you weren't before you met the odd man you now call your boyfriend. How did it all begin? For the sake of full disclosure, alright, you have always been somewhat on the mean side. A little too sarcastic, a little too blunt, perhaps a little too harsh. You don't like soft people and have little patience for their stumbling attempts. But, you can hold your tongue as long as it doesn't involve you.
The meeting, at least from your point of view, was entirely accidental. Despite just starting your university year, your charisma had quickly gained you enough friends and acquaintances to have a stable sample of potential group partners. Except for one class. One single missing person, and you were asked to include a name you didn't recognize. Some young man who almost never showed up to class.
Oh, but he did. He was there for every lecture, for every seminar. His, and yours. His first encounter with you was not what most would call romantic. On day one he'd gotten lost. The crowded halls, the new environment, the noise, the smell, everything overwhelmed him, and he found himself wandering in a panic, until at last he bumped into you. The impact sent him straight onto the ground, books pathetically spilling from his trembling arms. You, on the other hand, remained standing as if nothing happened. "Pull yourself together, dumbass", you hissed through your teeth, looking into his eyes for one brief moment before moving on to your friends: "You have to give it to them straight, otherwise they'll think we're still in high school and someone will hold their hand all the time. It's embarrassing! Grown adults!"
He can't remember anything else from that day. Only your voice, your expression, your stance. Somehow, for whatever reason, that "dumbass" went straight to his heart. To think you'd look after him, a complete stranger. You were right, he needed to recollect himself and figure it out. Something even his own mother omitted to mention.
How he wished he could be like you. The way professors relied on you for discussions, the way your friends flocked for advice. But see, he knew you were faking most of it. That overly sweet smile and exaggerated politeness, all of it was a mask you'd learned to wear at any time. It only came off when dealing with people like him. There was a certain pride in that fact: he'd seen the real you. Not your "friends".
The more he thought about it, the more plagued by need he became. The need to hear you speak to him again, in that raw, unfiltered voice, with that disgusted glare piercing through his entire being. Thus, he did his best - as per your advice - to find another opportunity. The group work. One glance at him was enough for you to remember: "Ah, fuck, you're that dumbass from first day", you whined in frustration. Instant arousal.
And so, your unusual partnership began to develop. Or rather, your game of tormentor versus tormented. (Un)Paid actors and nothing more. It didn't take you long to notice his strange reaction to your verbal aggressions, almost as if the man relished in your ruthlessness. He seemed to know exactly what buttons to press in order to anger you. In return, you decided to see how far you could go until he'd finally cave in. From insults, to flicking him in the forehead, shoving him against the wall, ordering him around like a collared dog. You had your suspicions, but it all culminated when you went over to his little dorm room for a final project review. You'd gotten so upset - what did he even do? - that you pushed him hard into the ground and straddled him, holding onto the collar of his jacket and shouting profanities. A horrified grimace struck his face, and you froze. Have you gone too far? Was he finally going to ask that you stop, and put this strange charade behind? "P-please give me a moment, I..." he panted, frantically trying to move you aside. "I need to take care of myself. I'm so sorry." You hesitantly stood up and noticed the obvious erection in his pants.
You have a strange effect on him. He is not incapable; he knows it very well. And yet, the temptation is too great: to pretend, to exaggerate, to fail, anything to have you take the lead and lovingly scold him in the process. "What do you mean you're too anxious to present your part? Christ, you're useless. Utterly, completely useless." He can't wait to pleasure himself later to the memory of your words. Truly addicting. He doesn't mind being a doormat if it's your feet keeping him down. You bring out his most pathetic, perverted, deplorable self.
The same can be said about you. You've never been this mean to anyone. You hadn't even intended to reach this point, yet something keeps riling you up. Maybe it's his pleading pout whenever he's being reprimanded. The hooded, lustful eyes gazing up at you submissively and waiting for the next burning whip of your tongue. He brings out the worst in you and he loves every second of it.
You unlock the door and march into the bedroom (you've since moved in together). Without a warning, you grip his chin tightly and give the man a firm tug, forcing him to pay attention. "You did something, didn't you? I was supposed to meet with a classmate for coffee and he vanished without a trace. Won't answer my texts or calls." He shakes his head in denial at first, wide innocent eyes glistening in fear. Ah, he can't help it. His lips curl in a crooked grin. He's been caught. You shove two fingers in his mouth, and without delay he twirls his tongue around them hungrily. "What a psychotic bitch you are. You want to be the only one, huh? Is that what it is about?" Between the slurps and the whimpers, you can discern a hurried nod.
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kamiversee · 7 months
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➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏
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✧.* CHAPTER 28 || The Effect You Have
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[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?
[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language & fluff.
[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4.1k
[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.
[ [ chapters mlist } ]
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——IT ALL BEGAN SO SIMPLE. Once Gojo got you home, he opened the trunk of his car to reveal the fifteen dresses he'd purchased for you, all of which he forgot to tell you had also been tailored for you as well.
He left that part out because the two of you had gone to get a dress tailored once just a few days ago. The dress you wore to Sukuna's party was specifically tweaked to fit you perfectly and after that, Gojo took the extra step of having the tailor keep your measurements for future dresses.
It was a detail he decided to leave out because he'd been planning for this for a while now and he didn't want you to think he was weird in any way-- even though the gesture was rather nice of him. Gojo was also sure to leave out how expensive each dress actually was, never wanting to reveal the fact that he'd spent his entire bank account on you if he could.
You went upstairs first, carrying only one dress with you as you did so. When you got into your apartment, you quickly noticed that Shoko had left some time ago, giving you the space for a while. Since it's a Friday, you recall that she has one class and then usually likes to go out and do something right after.
Within minutes after you walk into your apartment, Gojo is entering with the remaining dresses piled up in his hands. You would've helped him carry more but he insisted otherwise.
He takes all the dresses into your room and places them on your bed, just as you instruct him to. Once he's done, the man goes ahead and seats himself onto your mattress with an expectant look in his eyes.
You blink, one dress still in your hands as you wonder why Gojo's looking at you in such a patient way, "What? Why are you still sitting there...?" You ask simply.
Gojo shrugs, "I mean I didn't buy all those dresses for no reason..."
You scoff out a laugh, "Ohh, you want me to try on the dresses for you?"
He flashes you this innocent little smile, "Mhm..."
You narrow your eyes at him, "You'd see the dress whenever I wear it though..."
"That's not true, I'm not gonna be at this nightclub every time you go, I'm just taking you tonight since it's your first time there," Gojo explains.
You stare for a second, then nod, "Uhuh... Fine then, I guess I'll try on the dresses for you..."
He smiles, "Let me know if you need help putting them on-"
"You're not slick, Satoru," You cut off as you turn and dip into your bathroom.
The sound of him chuckling is heard as you move around and begin to change yourself into the first dress. Like all the others, the dress is beautiful and so obviously expensive, despite whatever Gojo tells you about it not being pricey.
You're careful to put the item on, quickly noticing how it fits like a glove and how pretty it looks on you. This first dress is silk and dark blue, almost royal blue, backless, and rather enticing. Just looking at yourself in it makes you feel odd.
The dress you wore to Sukuna's party was one thing, after all, you've been to plenty of parties before so it was your typical dark red party dress. But this dress... Well, you know Gojo said the club was pretty fancy but based on this first dress and the glimpse you caught of the other ones, it seems like classy is what you're gonna have to go for.
When you consider yourself to be done, you open the bathroom door with your eyes down on the dress as your free hand moves to smooth it out. Gojo's eyes are all over you instantly and when you look up, you're not too surprised to see him moving to get off the bed.
"Why are you getting up?" You chuckle, watching him casually approach you.
Gojo's soon standing in front of you, towering over you like always, "I needed a closer look."
"You might need glasses because I'm pretty sure anyone could've seen everything perfectly fine from my bed," You say in response.
He smiles and tilts his head at you, "Gimme a spin."
You fold your arms under your chest, "Say please."
"Please?" Gojo utters as if it were second nature to do so.
With a roll of your eyes, you slowly turn yourself around and give him a full three-sixty of the dress. Gojo's got this big stupidly happy smile on his face as you do so as if he couldn't be more at peace watching you perform such a simple act.
When you're done and come to a stop facing him once more, he's still smiling at you. "Well?" You ask.
"Y'know I'm gonna say you look beautiful in everything, right?" He sighs, the look in his eyes just dripping with affection.
You swallow, "Then what's the point of me trying all these on...?"
"I'm gonna help you figure out which one you should wear tonight!" He says cheerfully, "Gotta' make sure you make a good first impression on Nanami."
A brow is raised in question, "You do know he's seen me before, right?"
Gojo does this gesture with his hand as if to wave off what you just said, "That doesn't count."
"Right, sure it doesn't." You say, shaking your head at him.
"Oh, I also bought you shoes," Gojo suddenly tells you, turning away and heading back over to your bed.
You watch with wide eyes as he flops down onto your mattress, "What? Why?"
"Uh, to go with the dresses, sweetheart." He hums.
"Well, where are they?"
"Check your closet," Gojo says, laying down on his back and staring up at your ceiling, "Shoko said they came earlier this morning."
You blink, not sure how exactly to react just yet. It's so unusual for you to get spoiled like this. It's one thing for him to buy you a dress every now and then, and another thing for him to pay you for your sinful acts but to go out of his way and purchase this much for you is just...
New.
Your feet move to your closet and the second you open it, you're met with a shitload of new shoeboxes. "Wh-What the hell..." You say softly.
Gojo sits up slightly, holding his body up with his elbow and looking in your direction, "Hm?"
"Satoru..." You whisper, your eyes darting all over the fifteen different boxes of shoes in front of you. "You didn't really..."
"I did," He hums, "I swear they aren't as expensive as you think they are-"
"Shut up," You cut off. He closes his mouth quickly and you crouch down to the first box that catches your eye. "Satoru, these are Christian Louboutins...."
"Oh, I forgot I got those..." He replies.
You move the box around in your hand to inspect the item, "They're like a thousand dollars for each pair on average..."
"Okay...?"
Your eyes go to the other boxes nearby, "I'm seeing seven different pairs..."
"Seven different colors," Gojo explains with a casual shrug.
You take a second to reply, wondering what the hell is wrong with this man and trying to figure out why he'd go out of his way like this. "That's roughly seven thousand dollars on just shoes." You point out after some quick estimates made.
"Okay.....?" He chuckles, "They're shoes for you."
Your heart throbs in your chest in reaction to his emphasis on the shoes being for you-- as if he were implying that the price will never matter if it's something for you. Carefully, you place the box back down, too scared to even open it and look just yet.
"I..." You release a sigh, "I don't understand you..."
For a moment, Gojo goes quiet. You can't see his face so you don't catch how his expression grows worried. He feels like you may even be upset with him for a moment, which is the exact opposite of what he'd hoped to achieve with this.
After a moment of thought, "Is it too much...?" He asks softly.
"Yes, yes it is." Your response is quick and you go on to ramble immediately, "Why the hell would you buy all this for me just for me to go to one little nightclub? There are thousands of other heels you could've bought for me that aren't nearly as expensive. I'm gonna feel like I'm literally walking on eggshells the entire night because of how expensive these are. What if I break them? What if they get dirty-"
"So..." Gojo cuts you off, raising a brow, "I should've bought you a backup pair for each shoe?"
He sounds so genuinely confused that it's almost funny. "No Satoru, you shouldn't have bought me anything this expensive to begin with." You say calmly.
He blinks, "Why not?"
"I..." You sigh again, "It's weird."
"Weird how?" Gojo questions, not understand your reaction at all. He thought you'd be happy about this kinda thing, he's seen the way your eyes light up whenever he pays you so what's the difference here? "I'm buying things for the woman I love, what's so weird about that?" He questions.
"Stop saying that."
His brows pinch together, "What? That I love you? Or, that you're the woman I love?"
"It's all the same, just stop." You tell him.
"Why?"
"Because..." Your words fall off your tongue as you lose the reasoning behind why you want to hear him stop uttering such a phrase.
Every time he says those things it's like you can hear the truth behind his words. Almost as if in no universe could you deny the fact that you wholeheartedly believe he's in love with you. And for some reason, that belief of yours confuses you.
Gojo grins a little, "Because what sweetheart?"
"I don't know how to feel when you say things like that." You finally explain.
"There's no right or wrong way to feel, y'know..."
You shrug, "Well, it makes me feel... weird."
A sneaky little smile spreads across his face, "Is it because you love me t-"
"No." You deny it instantly.
"Alright then," Gojo sighs, "What is it?"
"Sympathetic." You correct him, somewhat figuring out what it is you feel as he utters those three words to you.
"Huh?"
"Every time you say that you love me or do things that make me feel like you love me... I begin to feel sympathy for you." Your explanation makes his heart race for some unknown reason.
Gojo swallows, "W-Why?"
"Cause' it's like... the things you do are making up for the bullshit you make me do. A-And it's all so fucked up because the last thing I want to feel is sympathy for my blackmailer." You stammer, steadily getting worked up over this small conversation.
Gojo lets out a sigh of relief and then smiles softly, even though you're not looking at him yet, "Listen, I'm not spoiling you like this because I want you to forgive me for what I've done. I... I don't ever expect to make up for it. But, if getting you new expensive things can put a smile on your face, even if only for a second, I'd sell a limb to be able to provide that for you."
Your head whips around to the man, "What?"
"Anything," Gojo says, meeting your gaze. He's so serious that it's almost dark the way he looks at you, "I'd do anything for you."
There's this sharp feeling in your chest. It's like you could feel the gravity of his words weighing your heart down. Almost as though, you knew he was serious.
Nearly overwhelmed by his seriousness, you quickly turn your head away, "I appreciate that..." You murmur, unsure of a better way to respond.
"Great-"
"But," You interrupt, "I don't understand why."
"Those three words." Gojo explains, "That's why."
"Because you love me?" You ask.
"Mhm." He hums in response.
"Well," You slowly begin to stand up and move out of your closet. "I don't understand that either."
Gojo watches as you grab another dress to try on and take it into the bathroom. He gets how you find his feelings for you confusing and has no intentions of explaining them just yet so instead, he results in saying something rather simple.
"Love isn't meant to be understood, sweets," Gojo tells you just before you shut the bathroom door.
You merely hum in response to that and the rest of you trying on dresses goes pretty smoothly.
With each dress, he'd comment on either how the material looks good on you or how the color makes a certain feature of yours stand out, all of his comments well thought out and making you feel all warm inside. You eventually even start trying on the heels with these dresses and each outfit is something you never thought you'd find yourself wearing.
Not that they didn't fit your usual style or anything but the prices that followed the items you wore were just something you'd never given yourself the leisure of even looking at. So to have such pretty and expensive items on your body and in your closet felt really nice.
Eventually, you land on the last dress. The color alone made you not want to wear it because simply looking at it reminded you of that morning you spent with Gojo. It was baby blue and rather small on you. There were these thin spaghetti straps that went over your shoulders, a decent amount of cleavage was revealed, and once you got down to how it just barely stopped at your thighs, there was this small slit in it.
It was cute and when you turned around, you noticed it hugged your ass nicely. Even so, you didn't want to reveal yourself in it to Gojo because you had a feeling you knew what his reaction would be.
"It's been fifteen minutes, love. Need some help?" Gojo calls out from the other side of your bathroom door.
You looked to the bottom of the door and noticed his shadow was there, smiling to yourself at how he so clearly knew you were purposefully taking a while. "No, I don't need help..."
"Thennnn what's taking you so long?" He hums.
"Nothing." You say before moving to open the door.
You're quickly met with Gojo standing there, leaning against your doorframe like always with a little smile on his face. His eyes are on your face, not yet dropping down to the dress.
Slowly, he allows himself to get a look at you and you watch the way he smiles. "You are so..."
"Beautiful?" You finish, having heard him say the same thing for the past hour or so, "Yeah, I know-"
"Perfect," Gojo corrects, "You're absolutely perfect."
You roll your eyes at his compliment for the millionth time, "Whatever."
He moves a hand to your waist and suddenly pulls your body close to his. Your chest presses up against him and your eyes frantically search his in question of why he's suddenly touching you.
Then, you catch that look in his gaze that you haven't seen in a while. It's the look that makes your knees go weak, that begging and pleading look of his that so clearly tells you he wants his lips on yours. You hate the way you recognize it so quickly now.
Gojo leans down to you, his arm slithering all the way around your waist, "This is the one." He whispers to you.
You blink, "The one what?"
"The dress you should wear tonight," He clarifies.
"Why? Does Nanami like blue or something?" You ask curiously.
Gojo shrugs, "I think so."
"Oh.." You murmur, watching as Gojo's face nears yours.
He stops himself just an inch away from your lips, his head tilted and his eyes low on yours. He doesn't say anything just yet, simply looking at your lips with the strong desire to place his own over them.
"Can I..." He trails off a little, almost as if he's nervous to ask his question.
You don't know why but you just nod, permitting him to kiss you.
What was it about this man that made you miss the feeling of his lips over yours? You don't know. You have no idea why every time Gojo's lips press into yours and you kiss him, your knees go weak, your brain stops working, and you feel so drowned in love.
You don't feel the same for him but damnit you can't deny how much you enjoy the way he kisses you. Sometimes, like right now, it's gentle and slow, his lips carefully and strategically moving over your own until his tongue is in your mouth, affectionately making out with you as his hand travels up and down your back.
Other times it's hot and heavy, both of you chasing the feeling of each other's lips as if time will one day stop you from feeling that connection.
Currently, you find yourself lost in his kisses, panting softly by the time he pulls away and both of you moving in for more just as quickly as you pulled away. So lost in it, you don't even think as he eases you into your bathroom and lifts you onto the counter, his lips desperate against your own.
Gojo's not kissing you like he wants to have sex with you or anything, he's kissing you like he just enjoys the feeling just as much as you. It's like he melts into your mouth, releasing small hums and even smaller whines into your parted lips as he sinks into the moment.
His hands go to your face, cupping your cheeks in his hand and kissing you like his life depends on it, and as if he's worried you'll slip away from his grasp at any given moment. After which, Gojo's hands would be on your thighs, sliding up your legs and just barely going up and under the dress, eager to just feel your skin.
As he does so, you think you get dizzy when he pulls away just to whisper, "I love you," In the lowest voice you've heard from him.
And it's not just one time he does that, it's constant that he breaks the kiss just to whisper those three words into your lips as if he wants you to never forget it as if he needs to chant the phrase in order to pass the needed level of understanding behind it.
"So much," Gojo utters, "I love you so fucking much." His lips are back on yours within the next second, needy tongue shoving into your mouth that you so gratefully accept.
You're unsure of what you've done to make this man be so deeply in love with you like this. Maybe the day you find out, you may reciprocate the feeling but as of now, the the only thing you can do in response to his repeated claims is kiss him back.
You could never utter those three words back to him. I love you. It's a phrase you've reserved for someone else. A sentence in which you direct toward an entirely different man. Even now as you make out with Gojo, you still think of who's stolen your heart.
Somewhere deep down inside, you tell yourself that it should be him instead. It should be Choso telling you that right now. It should be him holding you so lovingly, kissing you so tenderly, and longing for you the way Gojo does.
That's who you should be with at this very moment and yet, there you were, against Gojo's lips hearing how in love with you he claims to be.
As of now, you could only await the day in which you'd be where you're supposed to be.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
After about forty straight minutes of locked lips with Gojo Satoru, the two of you eventually pry yourself off of each other. You hadn't even realized you kissed him so long and you didn't even notice the way your lips made it to his neck at one point.
It was almost subconscious the way you left hickeys on his neck, marks that he had no intention of stopping you from making. Gojo actually held your head at his neck at one point, thriving in the feeling of you against him.
When the two of you were done, you watched him admire the work you'd left on his neck as he gazed in the mirror. His fingers traced over each one and the man wishes he could keep them there forever. To have evidence of you on his skin was something he'd wish to keep forever.
Even so, the two of you eventually left the bathroom and it was decided that the final dress you tried on was what you were going to wear that night.
Gojo left later that afternoon and told you he'd be back to pick you up when it was time to go. You still didn't quite understand why it was so important for him to take you there but you didn't argue with him about it.
Shoko eventually stopped home later that afternoon and she teased you about going out for the second night in a row. This time, even though she wasn't going with you, she went ahead and got ready with you-- the two of you helping one another with makeup and accessories.
She even made a comment on the dress you were wearing, saying that it was really pretty on you and that she loved the color. She also not-so-sneakily made a comment on how she recalls Gojo having a tie from high school that matches it but you brushed her words off.
And of course, to your surprise, the tie in question ends up being around the neck of Gojo Satoru when he comes to pick you up. Why would he match his tie with your dress? You don't know and you didn't care enough to ask. It's not like you and him would be side by side throughout the night anyway, you were supposed to be meeting Nanami.
The nightclub in which you were set to be was located all the way across town and the drive took forever. The ride was filled with low music and Gojo telling you things he thinks Nanami would look for in a woman.
He tells you that you have to be careful not to be too bold with him because Nanami may misinterpret what you've approached him for, going on to tell you how the guy apparently gets hit on a lot and turns a lot of people down. So basically, you'll have to be careful with your flirting.
You take a mental note of everything he's saying and by the time you get there, you think you're ready for the whole thing. You've only seen Nanami twice, once in a photo and another in person but you could spot the man in a crowded room since he has rather distinguishing features.
Plus, Gojo told you he'd be at the bar and probably the furthest away from the dancefloor so you'd most likely find him there.
Even so, Gojo wanted to at least be in the building with you so he walked you to the door and entered the building with you. The man even gave the bouncer at the entrance a death glare for ogling you. After that, the two of you entered and you quickly noted how fancy the place really was.
It wasn't your typical club with people partying and drinking all over the place or loud music blaring throughout the building. Instead, there were people dressed very classy and almost elegant in certain areas. The dancefloor was filled with a few couples, all of whom danced to some slow jam.
You actually liked the scene in front of you. The only thing you felt nervous about was looking out of place. Luckily, by Gojo's side, you fit right in since he was wearing a suit and pulled himself together rather nicely. But, you wouldn't be around him the entire night.
And that was what worried you.
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GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢
KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮
ITADORI SUKUNA ☐ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???
NANAMI KENTO ☐ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: ???
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There's a thing I've noticed that repeatedly crops up in the (English) fandom portrayal of hualian's relationship, where Xie Lian is shown as dismayed and put off by Hua Cheng's attitude towards other characters, oftentimes openly criticizing him and wanting him to "do better", to be more polite and/or to be more openly caring towards others. I found this at first perplexing and then increasingly upsetting, but I've debated for a long time if and how to post about it, because I don't want this to come across as a kind of call-out post or veiled personal attack.
So I hope people take this post as a genuine exploration of canon vs fanon hualian, and understand that I think it's something worth exploring because I feel that this particular fanon portrayal creates a problem in hualian's relationship that simply doesn't exist in canon - more than that even, it makes a problem out of one of the core strengths of their relationship.
I've mostly noticed this kind of portrayal pop up when it comes to the way Hua Cheng interacts with Mu Qing and Feng Xin, the Ghost City citizens, and Shi Qingxuan. I'll therefore focus on how Xie Lian reacts in these instances - since that's really the crux of the matter, that in fanon Xie Lian reacts negatively towards Hua Cheng in these instances - though I'll also use scenes with other characters when they become relevant.
This is when Hua Cheng, still in his San Lang disguise and knowing full well who "Fu Yao" and "Nan Feng" are, pointedly asks Xie Lian if they're his servants and throws a broom to Mu Qing to rile him up:
"Calm down. Calm down. I only have one broom -"
Before Xie Lian could finish his words, he was cut off by a burst of white energy that shot out from Fu Yao's hand as he bellowed, "Reveal yourself!!"
San Lang stayed where he was, arms still crossed in a relaxed posture, but he tilted his head just slightly as the beam of energy narrowly missed him and smashed one of the altar table's legs. The table collapsed with a loud crack and all the plates crashed onto the floor in a heap. Xie Lian rubbed his temple and thought this had to stop. With a wave of his hand, he released Ruoye and bound Nan Feng and Fu Yao's arms. Both men struggled but failed to break free.
"What are you doing?!" Nan Feng shouted. Xie Lian made a gesture for a time-out. "We'll talk outside. Outside." Then he waved his hand and Ruoye flew out, dragging the two in tow.
"I'll be right back," Xie Lian said to San Lang, then closed the door behind him.
Vol 1, page 216
Xie Lian does react exasperated and annoyed - but with Mu Qing and Feng Xin's attitude, not with Hua Cheng's. Keep in mind that he's already suspecting by this point that Hua Cheng is a Supreme, but he reprimands them for attacking "San Lang" just because they think he's odd:
"Nan Feng, that's where you're wrong. There are all kinds of people with various temperaments and mannerisms in the world; odd doesn't mean dangerous. [...]"
Vol 1, page 217
And impresses upon them repeatedly to be nice to "San Lang" and treat him well, then goes on to apologize to him for their rude behavior:
Nan Feng said in a low voice, "No. We still have to think of a way to test if he's a Supreme."
Xie Lian rubbed his forehead. "Go ahead and try, but don't go overboard. What if he really does turn out to be a runaway young noble? I get along pretty well with this kid, so be nice. Don't bully him."
The "don't bully him" made Nan Feng screw up his face, and Fu Yao's eyes rolled to the back of his head. Xie Lian nagged a bit more before reopening the door. San Lang was checking out the broken table leg, and Xie Lian cleared his throat to get his attention.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm alright," San Lang smiled. "Just checking to see if we can fix this table leg."
"Everything just now was a misunderstanding, please don't mind them," Xie Lian said warmly.
Vol 1, page 218
And it's not just that he defends "San Lang" from Mu Qing and Feng Xin's animosity and judgement - Xie Lian enjoys Hua Cheng's sharp wit and the way he wields it like a sword:
Fua Yao smiled without mirth. "This young master sure knows a lot."
San Lang smiled back. "It's nothing. You just don't know very much, that's all."
"..."
Xie Lian smiled in spite of himself, amused by San Lang’s sharp tongue.
Vol 1, page 221
This pattern continues throughout the entire novel so there are several other examples, but there's another scene I want to draw attention to. This is when they're at Mount Tonglu and Mu Qing is trying to mess with the statues despite being warned against it by Hua Cheng:
"I'm only trying to touch the stone now, not remove the veil. Why is Crimson Rain Sought Flower stopping me again?" Mu Qing questioned.
Hua Cheng shot him a fake-looking smile. "I'm preventing you from causing problems."
Xie Lian put himself between the two. "Stop, stop. It's not like we have to see which god is being worshipped here. We shouldn't stay here too long anyway, so let's just go. Don't forget that we still have a mission to accomplish."
Hua Cheng stared at Mu Qing's hand. "Since that's what gege wants, have him put his hand away and I'll let it go."
"Mu Qing, back off, all right?" Xie Lian said.
Mu Qing glared at him. "Are you nuts? Why shouldn't he back off first? What if I back off and he doesn't?"
Between a heavenly official and a ghost, Feng Xin naturally chose to stand on the side of the heavenly official. "At most, we'll accept both sides standing down at the same time."
Hua Cheng showed no signs of doing so. "You wish."
Seeing that neither side would give in, Xie Lian rested a hand on Mu Qing's arm. "Mu Qing, drop it," he urged gently. "You're the one who started this, so you should be the one to let it go. All right? Can you think of it as giving me some face? I swear that if you back off, San Lang will keep his promise."
Although Mu Qing was clearly reluctant, he held the stalemate for another moment, then slowly dropped his hand. They all returned to the road. Finally, the tension relaxed, and Xie Lian sighed in relief.
Vol 6, page 44-45
And then when Hua Cheng picks the path for them at the next fork in the road:
Feng Xin frowned. "How can you pick randomly? Let's not go blindly - we might tumble into another pit."
Hua Cheng smiled. "Even if we fall into a pit, I have ways to pull His Highness out. You can follow us if you'd like, or you can head off on your own if you'd prefer. To be honest, I'd rather not have to rescue you again."
"You-!"
That was just the way Hua Cheng spoke - even if he had a smile on his face and his words were perfectly polite, it always sounded fake. The faker his smile, the more his tone enraged people, so much that Feng Xin nooked an arrow on his bow.
Xie Lian knew that he wouldn't actually shoot. "Sorry about this, Feng Xin. But considering our current situation, it really makes no difference which way we go."
Hua Cheng laughed heartily. "Ooh, I'm scared. Looks like I'd better stay far away from you." He waggled his brows at Xie Lian and really did put some distance between them. Xie Lian knew he was just trying to leave the other two behind, and he smiled as he shook his head.
Vol 6, page 45-46
Several things can be gleaned from this. First of, this is happening before Xie Lian finds out who Hua Cheng really is and what the deal with the statues is. He doesn't know why Hua Cheng doesn't want them unveiled, but he still trusts his decision and his judgment over Mu Qing and Feng Xin's, and it's Mu Qing he asks to stand down, not Hua Cheng. Now you might be saying, well Mu Qing and Feng Xin were right about Hua Cheng being a Supreme Ghost King and they were right to be suspicious about the statues. But there's a second insight to be gained from this scene - Feng Xin doesn't side with Mu Qing because he thinks he's in the right, be sides with him because Mu Qing is a god and Hua Cheng is a ghost. Their animosity and constant suspicion towards Hua Cheng is based on what Hua Cheng is, based on prejudice. And Xie Lian knows this.
Lastly, Xie Lian's reaction in the above quote is, again, to back Hua Cheng up and then be amused by the way Hua Cheng pushes back against Mu Qing and Feng Xin's antagonistic behavior.
This continues all the way up to the end of the novel:
The group of heavenly officials didn't look like they wanted to sit; they probably had only stopped by to congratulate him and quickly show their faces. After delivering their gifts, they left in a hurry.
Xie Lian turned to Mu Qing. "Why did they leave in such a rush?"
"Do you even need to ask?" Mu Qing said.
"Well, yeah."
"Then why don't you ask your dear San Lang?" Mu Qing spat crankily.
When Hua Cheng came back, the first one to know was Xie Lian. Second to know were the gods of the Upper Court, who hadn't even warmed their seats yet in the new Heavenly Capital. On the day of the Shangyuan festival, they had worked so hard to put together a Battle of the Lanterns...which was abruptly obliterated by Hua Cheng's casual wave of three thousand lanterns, the same move he'd pulled at the Mid-Autumn Banquet. In addition, the heavenly bell had been tolling nonstop ever since that night. The entire Upper Court echoed with its ceaseless reverberating gongs, as if it were reminding them that the Nightmare of the Heavens had returned!
And right now, the Nightmare stood before them; no normal heavenly official would dare approach. However, they still wanted to get in Xie Lian's good graces so they could beg Hua Cheng to show them some mercy in the future. After all, the gossip about the relationship between Hua Cheng and Xie Lian in the Upper Court was already fairly lurid with no need for exaggeration.
When he heard about this, Xie Lian recalled how Hua Cheng had demanded the Upper Court proclaim his heroism for an entire year. "Cheeky," he said with a laugh.
Vol 8, page 153
Again, Xie Lian is openly amused at the way Hua Cheng keeps the other gods on their toes and deliberately annoys them. Mu Qing complains about Hua Cheng's behavior and Xie Lian's reaction is that actually he thinks it's funny and cute. I could not find a single instance where Xie Lian takes Mu Qing and/or Feng Xin's side over Hua Cheng's, much less demands Hua Cheng treat them differently or apologize to them. It is consistently the other way around. (With good reason too, but if I get into that this already lengthy meta will get even longer and stray off topic).
The situation with Shi Qingxuan is similar. I've repeatedly seen people portray it as though Xie Lian should be angry with Hua Cheng over his involvement with He Xuan and demand he betray him and help Shi Qingxuan instead. But when whe look at canon:
"It's too late," Xie Lian muttered. He shut down the communication array and whirled around. "San Lang."
Hua Cheng seemed like he'd already anticipated his question. His hands were clasped behind his back as he gazed at him in solemn silence.
"Did the two of you reach some kind of agreement a long time ago?" Xie Lian asked. Hua Cheng didn't immediately respond. Just as he began to move his lips, Xie Lian quickly reassured him of his intent. "No, no, no, don't tell me! You don't have to answer. If you had a prior arrangement with someone, don't go back on your word on my account. I wouldn't want that. It's my fault for asking so suddenly; I didn't mean to put you in a difficult position."
"I'm sorry, Your Highness," Hua Cheng murmured.
Xie Lian shook his head. "Don't apologize. I should’ve thought of this before. That arrangement must have prevented you from interfering, and from directly telling me the truth."
Hua Cheng had tried to talk him out of it, but he hadn't interfered with Xie Lian's wishes. He accompanied and protected him the whole way, with an escape plan already prepared - except at every turn, something always came up that dragged Xie Lian deeper into the affair. "I should be thanking you," Xie Lian said.
Vol 4, page 215-216
The same way Hua Cheng respected Xie Lian's autonomy and choices, Xie Lian respects his. And not in a bitterly resigned way either - there is no evidence of Xie Lian feeling any kind of resentment towards or moral superiority over Hua Cheng for the latter's agreement with He Xuan. In fact, he apologizes once he realizes that he puts Hua Cheng in a difficult spot by asking about it and also thanks him for both letting Xie Lian make his own choices in this complicated situation and also making sure he wouldn't get hurt by involving himself. And this doesn't only happen once but two more times at least:
Was Shi Qingxuan dead? Did Black Water Demon Xuan reinforce his barrier? No matter the reason, he couldn't return to Shi Qingxuan's body. Even if he rushed to the South Sea that very moment, he'd almost certainly be too late.
Seeing how disconcerted Xie Lian was by this development, Hua Cheng said, "Your Highness, I'm sorry."
Xie Lian looked at him.
"But outsiders shouldn't interfere in this affair," Hua Cheng added.
Xie Lian waved dismissively. "...You don't need to apologize. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to do much even if I were there."
Vol 4, page 254
Hua Cheng flashed a brief smile. Then he said, "I thought gege would blame me."
Xie Lian shook his head. "San Lang doesn't need to overthink things. I really don't blame you. In fact, you were right about this whole thing. Outsiders really...can't possibly interfere."
Vol 4, page 260
Hua Cheng feared Xie Lian would blame him for his involvement but chose to do what he could to both respect Xie Lian's autonomy and protect him while going along with what Xie Lian chose to do. Xie Lian recognizes this and is grateful for it, and now that he knows how complicated the whole situation really is he also understands where Hua Cheng was coming from with cautioning Xie Lian against involving himself. It would make no sense for Xie Lian to be angry with Hua Cheng or even demand him to interfere because he understands that Hua Cheng's stance and his choices come from a place of wisdom and of respect and protectiveness in regards to Xie Lian himself.
He also defends Hua Cheng when Pei Ming demands Xie Lian leverage his relationship with Hua Cheng against the latter to make him assist in finding Shi Qingxuan because he knows how unfair that would be towards Hua Cheng, aside from the fact that it wouldn't be that simple anyway because of how complicated the situation is:
"Your Highness, why not talk to that Crimson Rain Sought Flower of yours, instead of waiting around while the Palace of Ling Wen drags their feet like an old ox pulling a broken cart?" Pei Ming asked. "Can't you have him ask that mad ghost Black Water where he's taken Qingxuan? He already took Water Master-xiong's head - what more does he want?"
Xie Lian shook his head. "General Pei, please don't assume such things are doable," he replied helplessly. "Does one Supreme Ghost King need to keep the other informed on whatever he wants to do?"
With that, Pei Ming didn't say anything more.
Vol 4, page 265
Lastly, there's Ghost City and the way Hua Cheng runs it and treats its citizens and his subordinates. I've often come across Xia Lian being portrayed as though he wants Hua Cheng to change things, for example the way he runs the Gambler's Den, based on how Xie Lian expressed concern over it when he visits it the first time. I've already touched on this in more depth in a different post so I won't go into great detail again here, but when we look at what Xie Lian thinks and says, it becomes clear what he's actually concerned about:
After some hesitation, Xie Lian spoke up again. "San Lang, it may be out of line for me, but I still have to say it. That Gambler's Den of yours is incredibly dangerous. Won't it blow up in your face one day?"
A place that allowed the betting of sons and daughters and people's lives, granting wishes for others' sudden death - it was dreadfully sinful. Never mind a little brawl; if one day the bets got out of hand, the Heavenly Realm wouldn't be able to stay on the sidelines.
Vol 2, page 107
Xie Lian's worry about the Den is motivated by his worry about Hua Cheng, about his fears that something might happen to him if the Heavens aka Jun Wu decide to actively interfere. Xie Lian knows that Hua Cheng is already on Jun Wu's radar in regards to the Ascending Fire Dragon spell having come from an area near Ghost City, and though he still trusts Jun Wu he knows firsthand how terrifying Jun Wu can be in a battle.
I've also sometimes seen Xie Lian portrayed as wanting Hua Cheng to change the way he speaks to Ghost City's inhabitants. However, this is what happens when Lan Chang sets fire to Paradise Manor as a diversion for stealing the fetus spirit and the citizens put out the fire:
They hurried back to Paradise Manor, and on the way, the main street was laden with smoke and jammed with little ghosts and monsters frantically running back and forth with buckets of water. When they saw Hua Cheng and Xie Lian approach, they all called out. "Chengzhu! Don'tcha worry yer ol' lordship, the fire ain't big, it's already out!"
Hua Cheng gave no reaction, but Xie Lian let out a breath of relief. "Thank goodness! Thank you, everyone, for your hard work," Xie Lian gently praised them.
The little ghosts hadn't expected any kind of gratitude at all - not to mention that the "thanks for your hard work" came from Chengzhu's friend! They became quite excited indeed.
"Not hard! It's nothin' major!"
"It's our duty!"
Only then did Xie Lian realize that this show of gratitude was rather inappropriate, as he wasn't the master of the establishment. However, since Hua Cheng didn't say anything, it probably wasn't too horrible that Xie Lian took initiative to do so. He briefly reprimanded himself mentally, then stopped worrying about it.
Vol 3, pages 334-335
Xie Lian doesn't praise and thank the ghosts because he thinks Hua Cheng should do it, he does it because that's simply in his nature. And then he worries about it being impolite because he's not chengzhu and feels it's not really his place. He deeply respects Hua Cheng's authority over his own territory and also understands that Hua Cheng simply isn't the kind of person to talk this way and that there's nothing wrong with it. It's also important to keep another thing in mind that I've mentioned in other metas, that Hua Cheng's care and sense of justice show through his actions, and that because he doesn't speak of them, we most of the time only learn of them through other characters:
Xie Lian said to Hua Cheng, "I will make a trip to the Upper Court this instant and report this case."
While Lan Chang protested, she knew she couldn't stop him. After snapping out of her shock, she suddenly knelt down and prostrated before Hua Cheng. "Chengzhu, thank you for your kindness and grace in sheltering me!"
Vol 3, page 347
I've seen something similar also crop up in regards to Yin Yu. I've already written an in-depth meta analyzing Hua Cheng and Yin Yu's relationship and how I feel it's often mischaracterized in fanon as Yin Yu being exploited by him when it's actually the Heavens who treated Yin Yu that way. So I'm not going to go over all of that again here, but I couldn't find a single instance in canon where Xie Lian ever expresses the need to praise Yin Yu on Hua Cheng’s behalf or anything of the sort. When Xie Lian meets him properly for the first time without his Waning Moon mask and sees Yin Yu work and take orders, this is his reaction:
Xie Lian noticed that Yin Yu had included him in the question, which confused him. "You don't need to ask me," he replied gently.
"It's all the same," Hua Cheng said. "What does gege think?"
Xie Lian thought it over. "Since we were almost out of the valley by the time the mountain spirits came crushing in, fifteen kilometers should be far enough. The air underground isn't sufficient; if we stay down here, we might get dizzy. Let's start digging upward."
"Yes, sir!" Yin Yu acknowledged. He instantly changed directions, digging upward at a slant and even erecting beautiful mud stairs as he went.
The man really is an outstanding assistant. Quick and efficient, and he speaks exactly as much as necessary, Xie Lian remarked to himself. Vol 5, page 236
Xie Lian is surprised to be included when Yin Yu asks for orders since he's Hua Cheng's assistant and Xie Lian again respects Hua Cheng's authority. He also remarks upon Yin Yu's efficiency and overall excellent manner as an assistant, but at no point in the future does he express concern or criticism that this isn't valued or praised enough by Hua Cheng.
So, to sum up: While in fanon, Xie Lian takes issue with Hua Cheng's attitude in general and in regards to these characters/situations in particular, in canon it's the complete opposite. He respects Hua Cheng as a person and a Ghost King, reprimands other characters when they mistreat him, and is amused instead of put off by his sharp wit and the way he keeps the other gods on their toes.
And again I want to stress that me pointing this out isn't meant in a "and that's why you shouldn't write x thing" kind of way or anything like that. I'm merely expressing dismay that I find these fanon portrayals to undermine the very core of what makes Xie Lian and Hua Cheng's relationship so healthy and loving: their mutual respect for each other's autonomy and choices, and the fact that they love each other for who they are, not who they think the other should be by any given standard. Hua Cheng puts it like this: "But only His Highness can decide what he wants to do. I will never oppose his decisions" (Vol 8, page 45) and as this analysis has hopefully shown, the same goes for Xie Lian.
Lastly, I think it's also important to remember what a big theme kindness plays in the novel, especially choosing kindness over prejudice. Hua Cheng falls for Xie Lian because Xie Lian chooses to treat him kindly instead of abusing him out of prejudice about his appearance, and then Xie Lian falls for him because Hua Cheng chooses to treat him kindly no matter what state Xie Lian is in. This should be kept in mind so we don't replace this genuine kindness with a superficial "being nice and polite" attitude and don't confuse genuine righteousness with "acting the way others think we should act."
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theminecraftbee · 1 month
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the summer before THE END...
(this fic contains @hotguycomiczine spoilers! go read it first! i'll wait!)
It’s midday. The sun is heavy and hot, bearing down against the asphalt and visibly making the air shimmer over the road. Summer in Hermitopia can be miserable, and frankly Cuteguy thinks it’s far more miserable than the bruises. The humidity makes his feathers stick together and itch in awkward ways, he’s sweaty twice over because he hadn’t had time to actually wash his costume between the last major villain attack, his recent part-time line cook job, and then this fight.
He’s in his early thirties and he’s becoming an old man, he thinks. His knees should not hurt this much, and yet here they are. Vigilantism is going to give him early arthritis.
They’ve driven off the villain. Didn’t manage to catch him, though. He wasn’t even from Hermitopia. That’s been happening more lately; people who see Hermitopia as some lawless wasteland where they can come visit, avoid drinking any water, and live out their dreams of being a comic book character, damn the consequences or collateral damage. It’s frustrating. Sometimes, deep in Cuteguy’s soul, he sort of thinks the Soup Group has a point in calling out all this bullshit.
Of course, they do all that murder about it. So. Not much better, really.
He leans against a building and tries to breathe. Normally he has a water bottle with his costume, but this guy had homemade napalm. Luckily, not real napalm! The water did work for putting out the fire! Unfortunately, it’s ninety-seven degrees and humid and Cuteguy has just done enough cardio that he’s honestly worried about the odds he passes out. 
Out on the street, Hotguy is chatting with every civilian he comes across. He’s grandstanding. He’s giving blow-by-blows. He’s acting like his sweat doesn’t stink like a mere mortal’s. He has a water bottle, and he’s taking sips of it between chats with reporters and posing for cameras. There are enough cars and civilians that Cuteguy isn’t all that worried about the TCG yet. Hotguy’s still pretty damn wanted, what with the whole possession thing that they don’t exactly have the means to prove to the public, so Cuteguy’s got to keep an eye out for them, but with this many cameras on him? The TCG isn’t about to arrest him on camera. Despite everything, he's still too charismatic; he'd still make them look too bad. 
Cuteguy wipes his forehead again. He does notice when someone starts approaching him; he might be exhausted, but he’s acting as Hotguy’s situational awareness while he’s busy playing up crowds. He can’t afford to be that exhausted, so he isn’t. That, and the woman approaching him is hardly as stealthy as the Bleeding Hart. Another thing he might have to give to the Soup Group were he willing to give them credit for anything: he’s never been able to fully stop noticing where everyone is around him. Hotguy had winced and called it “hypervigilance”. Cuteguy had said that he wasn’t any better, he just calls it a superpower. Hotguy had said it is hardly his fault his superpower promotes vigilance. Cuteguy had—
“Uh, good fight. Thanks,” says the woman.
“Oh, uh. You’re welcome,” Cuteguy says.
She’s tall and blonde. Also, she has four arms. Cuteguy should have probably noticed that first, but he didn’t, and that’s on him.
“Bit of a mess, especially in this weather. Hotter and they’d issue a heat advisory, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Cuteguy says.
He is not good at post-battle smalltalk. That’s why it’s Hotguy’s job. He’s good at causing chaos if needed, but chaos is the opening the TCG would need to get to Hotguy. Cuteguy glances in his direction. He’s posing and signing autographs still. He can’t help but sigh. They’re going to be here all day.
The four-armed lady follows his gaze.
“You know, I’d always wondered why you stick to him,” she says.
“Sorry?” Cuteguy says.
“I just mean—I watched the fight. Yeah, he’s good, but you’re decent at range too. You can get enough height to really not need perfect accuracy because you’ll be hard to hit. Wings are, uh, a pretty overpowered combat tool, really, especially when most of your enemies are on the ground. But you’re good at close range, so, uh, inside isn’t awful for you either, really.”
“I mean, you’re right, I am pretty good,” Cuteguy says, interrupting her. “I don’t really get—”
“Look at him,” the woman says. “You ran around more than him and he took the water bottle.”
Cuteguy wants to defend Hotguy for that one; it’s hardly his fault that Cuteguy dumped his water bottle on napalm like it would do anything. It did, which is convenient, but still. Not Hotguy’s call. He doesn’t quite get the chance.
“Even after everything last month, he’s still grandstanding too. Sure, he’s stopped shooting people for not being grateful enough, or holding rescues hostage for cash, but look at him. Hardly any better, is he. Sure, he says he was possessed—”
“He was,” Cuteguy snaps.
“—but like, is the guy he is now actually all that different? Just saying.”
Cuteguy stares at the man trying to get extra photo ops out of a group of passing runners. They’re topless to account for the heat, which is probably why Hotguy wants photos with them. Cuteguy can just barely hear the man asking to trade phone numbers. Is it worse or better, Cuteguy wonders, that the phone number Hotguy gives out just goes straight to Cub’s inbox? Is that catfishing or just good sense?
“He’s trying to help,” Cuteguy says.
“He’s desperate for attention,” the four-armed woman says. “You know, you’d probably be better without him. After everything that happened, your reputation would be better too. A little more in the shadows, a little less associated with his crimes.”
“He’s…”
“I just want the real reason, really,” the woman says. 
“What do you…”
“Why would you stick with him when you’re so much better?”
Hotguy waves goodbye to the runners. He takes another sip of the water bottle. Really, there’s so much that Cuteguy can say here, watching that. He could say something about how, in the terrible days when the Soup Group had first come onto the scene, Hotguy had barely left Cuteguy’s side until Cuteguy started pushing him away. He could say that Hotguy is earnest, that he really does want to save people, despite the fact he also wants attention. He could say that he knows the man behind the mask now, and he’s seen his films, and frankly getting a little recognition as Hotguy kind of makes up for not getting recognition for his decent acting talent. He could say something about playing Mario Kart on the couch, or learning to aim a bow, or fights with Doc, or secrets shared that Cuteguy wants to make sure Hotguy never has an incentive to spread. He could say something about how dangerous fighting alone is. That’s probably the more sensible thing to say, actually; Cuteguy knows exactly how dangerous fighting alone is.
What Cuteguy says is this:
“He makes me happy.”
There is a long not-quite silence as sirens and cicadas fill the summer air.
“Huh,” the woman says.
Cuteguy doesn’t say anything else.
“Well. I mean. I don’t really know how to save you from that, so I guess I’ll just leave you to it,” the woman says. “Consider if he’s really worth it.”
She leaves. Cuteguy stares after her a moment before shaking his head and going back to scanning the crowd for any known TCG elements.
“Birdie!” Hotguy crows, running over from the reporters. “We’re on the 5 PM news!”
“Really? An out-of-towner with questionable pyrotechnics made it?” 
“I got it worked out,” Hotguy says confidently. “But, uh, with that said, you look like you need some AC and a drink. I have so much Gatorade in my fridge that it isn’t even funny. All the labels are pulled off because it’s for that one football movie I did, right? And for some reason they didn’t want to give Gatorade the product placement, so they made all these sports drinks without—”
“Not in-costume, Hotguy,” Cuteguy says, but he doesn’t put any heat into it.
“—oh, you know no one’s listening, lighten up! Anyway, so the movie ended up somehow ordering far too many bottles, and you know what they say about underpaid actors and free food—or, I’m not sure it’s actually an expression, but let me tell you, I have never turned it down. And with the number of ele… electo-mites? I think? You know, all the sweat we’re sweaty about—come on Cuteguy, I don’t want you passing out on the pavement, I really didn’t mean to get caught out that long!” Hotguy says, grabbing Cuteguy’s hand to take him back to his apartment.
Miserable heat or not, Cuteguy can’t help but smile slightly.
“I don’t want to pass out either, that’s why I’m not running, Hotguy,” he says, and he lets himself be tugged along in that man’s wake once more.
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duchezss · 7 months
Text
I recently finished reading all the Lockwood & Co books, and my god they were good, but it got me thinking. If the show continued, like it deserved too, would Holly and Kipps have gotten a signature color the same way the trio did? If so what would they be? Well I was looking at twitter and I saw that most people agree that Holly's color would be yellow, and Kipps' would be white, and I'll be honest I disagree so badly I'm about to write an essay. It's funny because I distinctly remember finishing the books and thinking, "ah watch everyone put their colors as yellow and white cause it's easy". LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER. Y'all just don't get color theory OR the characters the way I do so listen up.
Holly is many things. She's positive, and compassionate, and kind, but she is so much more than that. She's not just a "yellow", yes maybe she is the sunshine of the group, but honestly? Not really, and that's ok. She's fierce and sometimes she has a short temper, she pretends to let everything slide off her shoulder, when really she's just keeping it inside. That's why her and Lucy are constantly budding heads in the beginning of their friendship, they are so similar. I think her color should be red. She's constantly described as wearing it, and I think it really fits her. Red represents passion, energy, confidence, and excitement to name a few. Holly is always described as having a presence, and her energy and enthusiasm comes off her in waves. Red is usually described as the color of love, and I still think that fits. She has such love for the entire crew, and it's so clear she would go to the ends of the earth for them. I also think this would blend in with the others very well. Despite it not actually being blue's real opposite, blue and red are often seen as polar opposites, which really fits for Lucy and Holly's dynamic. It also works because red and orange are both warm colors and George and Holly have always gotten along. They are similar in their methodical and sometimes odd ways of life. I also think it's fun cause Skully's color is green, and green are red are direct color wheel opposites. I'm pretty sure he hates her the most, but Kipps is also competing hard for that title. And lastly black is kinda the color in between, now more on that in a second.
I see what twitter was going for, Lucy and George are blue and orange, direct color wheel opposites, because they are quite literally direct opposites. So it makes sense for Kipps to be white since he's the direct opposite of Lockwood? LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER AGAIN. Tell me y'all didn't understand their dynamic without telling me. Lockwood and Kipps didn't get along cause they were so different, they butted heads so hard because of how similar they are. It's exactly what happened with Lucy and Holly. Plus white represents a lot of things that are definitely not Kipps. My proposed color for him is purple, I know that's a little odd, but walk with me. Although it's never explicitly stated, one can assume that Kipps was an absolute prodigy when he had his talents. I only bring this up, because purple often represents royalty and luxury, and he practically became a fallen king when he lost the only thing he was ever good at it. But purple is much more than that, it also represents bravery, uniqueness. ambition, and justice. I think Kipps' original color is grey, and not just because of the uniform. Grey represents seriousness, sadness, and boredom. That's how Kipps was before, but when he remeets the crew during book 3 and 4, we begin to see the shift. The group helps him gain his ambition back, and with all of their love and support we even begin to see how brave he really is. He has a unique way of going through life, and even when all the odds are stacked against them, he still seeks justice. Purple fits with the general color scheme as well. It's very close to black, which represents how similar him and Lockwood are, and it's also a cooler color like blue. Kipps and Lucy certainly got along the easiest out of the crew.
Overall it just makes sense. George and Holly are the warmer colors, Lucy and Kipps the cooler, and Lockwood as the mediator between them. I feel like red might be a little hard to incorporate without being overpowering, and I know that purple isn't a super masculine color, but hell if those costume designer made full orange outfits look good they can literally do anything. Anyways I know this isn't that important, but ugh I love color theory so much, and I love how much thought the costume designers put in the first time. I feel like having Holly and Kipps color being yellow and white is just a cheap easy shot, and doesn't take into account the characters and their growth enough. I rest my case.
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factual-fantasy · 5 months
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Hey buddy, I just wanted to say that your art is such a thing, I mean, it feels so gentle and comfortable, you truly can feel the love with you made any of them, any comic, doodle, oc, they feel so real and tridimensional. Well, I'm triying to say that your works are so honest, you just go ahead with what you like and it got so enjoyble., it's made with a vibe of dedication, love and pasion, is like you let part of you in all of them.
So, I want to thank you, for all of that, for all those pretty and relatable moments you give us, and, even if you stay at the anonymity, it feels like us don't need that information 'cause you let the most important in your comics. Some days I just arrive a little down, but see your art make me feel a little better. And, not just for me, you're a inspiration; well I also like comics, but I'm a little shy to share them, seen yours makes me want to share my ideas too, currently I'm not doing that, maybe one day, but seeing yours make me
This would sound a little odd, but I'm truly worried about you, I mean, it have been a time since you get sick, take it easy buddy, your health it's pretty important
Thank you, for all those comics, doodles and ocs, are wonderful and you truly end loving them at the same way you love them, and took you the time do it and share it with us.
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This is me seeing your art, you can handle everything buddy, take it easy.
NOW THE QUESTION XD, which is the difference between ask and the colaboration? writing these I didn't know to where send it ._.
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I don't have the words! Just! Thank you!! 😭😭😭 It was so wonderful to read this! And it's you!! It's people like you and your comments that keep me coming back! So thank you!! 😭😭💖💖💖
As for my health, I know it's hard but try not to worry.. I think I'm on the edge of a breakthrough! In fact, I think I might have already made one! XDD Once I'm past that horrible journey I'll be sure to let y'all know!
Also your question! Comments like this can certainly be sent to my ask box! Though I also appreciate comments on my artwork on the post themselves too! If that sentence made any sense- 😅
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blarshwritezz · 5 months
Note
hi if u dont mind i would love a mafia x male spy reader (gn if you ur not comfy with that) so the mafia boss pretends to be the mission partner for the reader just for fun he almist kileed the reader on multiple occasions but the reader misunderstands and thinks that the mafia boss was just helping him albeit in a weird and rather violent way and although reader has a suspicion that his partner (the mafia boss) isnt who he says he is due to skme odd similarities between him and the target of his mission (that being the Mafia boss) and the fact that his partner could easily waltz in notorious criminals manors and party and one day everything just clicks for the reader and they try to escape but the mafia boss knew thus so he kidnapped em and the live happily ever after (idk how to end this so just do what you deem fit ty!!!)
(oh yeah its fine if ur not comfortable or just don't want to make my request im not paying you so you hqbe no obligations to do so remember to take care of yourself <333 /p)
(and if i could could i become 🦀 anon)
Yes! Welcome, 🦀 anon!
Yandere Mafia Boss x Spy Reader
M yan x gn reader (sorry, I prefer to do gn for non-nsfw asks)
TW - general yandere behavior, drugging, implied kidnapping
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Your mission was simple, at least on paper. Simply gain intel on a notorious mafia boss. But if it was that easy, you wouldn't have been working at it for so long.
It didn't help that your partner for this mission was...unusual. Not a bad guy, really, just strange. Sometimes you almost thought he was trying to kill you. You'd often catch him staring at you. You even felt his gaze when you swore no one was around.
Not to mention, danger was ever prevalent around him. He always managed to save you, though. But his face did often look rather annoyed...you just assumed he was one of those people with a really bad rbf.
But it was also suspicious how he was able to so easily and casually waltz into the homes or parties of very high-profile people. People you'd never be able to get near without months of careful planning. Maybe he just had good connections?
But all these coincidences were getting a bit too...convenient. If you needed to get in somewhere, he got you in the front gate. If you needed something, he miraculously had it only a day or two after at the latest.
And worst of all, you still haven't managed to track down this damn mafia boss! It didn't help that nobody knew what he looked like.
"Maybe he's right under your nose." His deep voice startled you out of your thoughts. His arm was wrapped around your shoulder, holding you close. Despite his cold exterior, he was pretty touchy and clingy. But...sort of sweet. You were glad to have met him, even if this mission was looking like a bust.
"But where? Where haven't we checked?"
"Well, our organization may be high security, but not impossible to infiltrate for a man like that." Was he implying that one of your own coworkers could be your target? Impossible!
But...now it all seemed to come together. Those coincidences...weren't just coincidences. He really has been right under your nose this whole time.
No wonder he could go wherever he wanted and get anything he desired. He had power and influence...more than you thought.
"I-Impossible! Our organization has the highest security possible! I'd know if someone like that could be...beside me..." It was a sad attempt to cover up your newest theory, but also to try and reassure yourself. If this was true, then you weren't as good of a spy as you thought...
You got up, or tried to at least. He kept his grip tight on you.
He knew.
"I can't just let you go now. You know my identity. So I'll just have to keep you as my newest little toy." In seconds his arm lowered to prevent you from moving your arms as he quickly used his other to cover your mouth and nose with a rag.
Chloroform.
"Just sleep...Be a good pet and I'll be sure to reward you very well..." Despite your struggling, sleep soon took you. No one ever heard from you again...no one but him, of course.
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I'm sorry, this one feels so rushed and short, I was having a tough time getting inspired 😭
Forgive me, 🦀 anon, for I have failed
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topherwrites · 6 months
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FIC RECS: TOP GUN: MAVERICK - 2!
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Okay, so there was shit I forgot in my year in review rec list. I posted it and a minimum of about 10 other fics immediately came to mind. so, part 2! I also didn't put many WIPs on the first one, but I think currently in progress fics should get some love too. I'll be marking them with an asterisk.
If I made a little comment about every single fic or series here, it would be inhumanely long, so I've refrained from doing so and have just put the summaries for each.
I hope that anyone who reads this list finds something that they love on it just as much as I do! Happy reading!
P.S. If I missed anyone, I'm sorry, there was a lot to sort through!
(P.S.S. reblog the fics you like, it makes writers happy.)
part 1, if you missed it.
SOME OF THESE ARE 18+, PLEASE HEED THE INDIVIDUAL WARNINGS!
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JAKE SERESIN
Parking Lots and Matcha Lattes by @withahappyrefrain
In an attempt to get coffee, you meet a grade A asshole whose head you want to rip off. Meanwhile, Jake Seresin is pretty certain he just met his future wife in the parking lot of a coffee shop. AKA Jake Seresin likes mean women, pass it on.
The Hangman Special by @hangmanssunnies
On a night out with your friends at a fancy cocktail bar, you are just trying to keep your head down and ignore the girl that your ex cheated on you with. The night only seems like it's going to get worse when you are dared to kiss a stranger at the bar. However, it seems like the odds might finally be in your favor when you notice a familiar set of broad shoulders. If you can be convincing, you think you might just be able to get your brother's friend Jake "Hangman" Seresin to help you out with your little problem.
*she is both hellfire and holy water by @chemistryread
you should take it as a compliment, that I'm talking to everyone here but you.
Birds Away by @wombtotombx
You’d known Jake since you were kids, bonding over the shared experience of being military brats overseas. You were the perfect pair - he was reckless, you followed the rules; he didn’t care what others thought, you were a people-pleaser. You both became the best of the best in your field - he through sheer talent and skill, you from demonstrated grit and determination. For over two decades, everyone around you - parents, friends, even teachers - had assumed you’d both end up together, despite the fact that somehow, you never did. The Navy always had its way of keeping you two apart. Whatever possibilities there might have been, it was just never in the cards. Until you got to Fallon.
*The Backup by @ereardon
No strings attached sex never works, right? You and Jake Seresin have fallen into a bad pattern of seeking each other out for sex after dates go awry, but a year of being friends with benefits with Jake hasn’t been good for your dating life. Especially when the two of you are hiding your antics from your lifelong best friend Coyote and the rest of your tightly knit friend group. But what happens when you decide to take a step back and end the cycle with Jake to focus on your dating life? And why is it that all of the sudden Jake looks more irresistible than ever when you know he’s off limits? 
Take Care of Business by @honkytonk-hangman
The last time you met Lieutenant Jake Seresin, the war was still ongoing and you’d been in a floundering engagement. Back then you’d seen the possibility for more in his eyes, and now? Well, now you could explore it.
When Jake Met Polly by @/honkytonk-hangman
Jake likes to flirt with his Air Traffic Controller or Jake Seresin has never seen When Harry Met Sally.
How It's Done (Oneshot Version) by @/honkytonk-hangman
“Like me? I didn’t even think you wanted me as a squadmate, let alone–” you stop speaking, but only because Hangman cuts his eyes sharply away from you to glare out at the ocean. “Well, I do.” He says kind of indignantly, all things considered, and eyes you almost sourly. “You can just say no if you don’t–” “–No, I do!” you quickly cut him off, because at the end of it all, you’re a little too much of a hopeless romantic to let this moment pass you by.
Twenty-Five Going on Forty-Seven by @sehnsuchts-trunken
Flirting with the guy who fixed your car turns out to lead to much, much more when you find out he’s actually not just some random guy, but your new neighbour and father’s new best friend, Jake Seresin.
BRADLEY BRADSHAW
*fever pitch by @greenorangevioletgrass
Arsenal and USMNT captain Bradley Bradshaw attends the mononymous music sensation Y/N's concert with a friendship bracelet and a dream. Little did he know that they soon embark on an epic love story fit for pop royalty...
This Love Came Back to Me by @beyondthesefourwalls
You and Bradley hadn’t ended on bad terms; really, you stopped before the two of you could even truly begin. Still, in the last seven months, you had never completely left his mind. So when you suddenly appeared in front of him at the bar, asking for a favor and pulling him into a kiss, he thought maybe it was the perfect opportunity to see if this time, things could be different. But what neither of you realized was that there’s more going on than just rekindling a lost romance, and it might not be as easy as simply just wanting it.
I Like Your Cinema by @sometimesanalice
Bradley wasn’t sure why you wanted to see the movie again, especially when neither one of you had particularly liked it the first time you’d seen it together. But when you’re tugging down his zipper, things start to make a lot more sense.
‘cause no one breaks my heart like you by @heartsofminds
“Last times always make him uneasy. He thinks that he should be used to it by now from his track record of being abandoned (willfully or “out of their control” situations alike). None of this should hurt him as deeply anymore.” or Bradley Bradshaw is terrified of commitment and he decides to stop being selfish (even though it’s hard to see).
the periphery by @youvebeenlivingfictional
You’d met Bradley a few times before the happy couple had announced their nuptials, and you’d always gotten a pretty good vibe from him. He was sweet, he was easy to talk to—and it helped that he was easy on the eyes. In fact, as soon as you’d been told that Bradley Bradshaw was going to be the Best Man, you were well on your way to having a crush on the guy.
*Hotter Than Texas by @tongue-like-a-razor
Bradley Bradshaw is tasked with transporting a not-so-delicate package in the form of Jake Seresin’s baby sister, who turns out to be Bradley’s dream girl worst nightmare.
*flight risk by @ofstoriesandstardust
In which you and Rooster got married while at UVA for the military benefits. What started out as a mutually beneficial deal between friends years ago turns into a point of interest for Maverick, causing Rooster to have to haul you out to Fightertown to get him to shut up. While Maverick’s fussing over a marriage he didn’t know existed, Rooster’s focused on getting the ball rolling on divorce papers because really, the Navy does not need to be calling some poor girl from his college that he’s died in a horrendous accident. It’s proving to be more difficult than he expected, especially when Hangman and Phoenix take it upon themselves to encourage a friendship to become more. 
How You Play the Game by @roosterforme
Bradley always loved October because of the World Series. He never expected a mix-up with the ticket he won to bring something as spectacular as you into his life. But time is fleeting, and now baseball is the last thing on his mind.
*The Intern by @/roosterforme
You barely have a minute to yourself after graduating at the top of your Ivy League class before your father insists you find an internship. Your days of lounging by the pool and partying are numbered as he has an endless parade of his colleagues visiting the house. But one of them is familiar to you in a way that warms your skin just like the San Diego sun. And it turns out, Bradley Bradshaw may just have the answers to all your problems. And those answers might be waiting for you on a yacht in the Mediterranean Sea.
there was something 'bout you by @bussyslayer333
bradley bradshaw didn’t fall in love, especially not with uptight girls in his english lit class and especially not the ones being forced into tutoring him.
*Ultraviolence by @babyonboard
You and Bradley loved each other, and Jake was just your old friend from high school who you tried to pay no mind to. At least that's how it used to be.
All Too Well by @bradleyfuckingbradshaw
You’re at dinner with your boyfriend and some of his colleagues at a restaurant he chose when you look over the menu and realize there’s no vegetarian option, but he’s too busy with his friends to realize that. Bradley isn’t.
October 3rd Promptober by @familyvideostevie
you go to a tailgate with your friend bradley.
If You Met Me First by @tip-top-cloud-surfer
Rooster confessed to Echo that he was in love with her before the mission. One minor problem: she has a boyfriend.
Home for the Holidays by @mothdruid
Bradley might have lied about having a girlfriend. His best friend, you, decide to help him out and go home for the holidays with him. As the trip unfolds, so does your and Bradley’s feelings for one another.
BOB FLOYD
*I bet this would look beautiful on film by @coridotmp3
Honey desperately needs a photographer, and Bob desperately needs a break.
Robert from Next Door by @attapullman
You've lucked out with the perfect neighbor, a kind and overly helpful WSO. He puts up Christmas lights, lends his lawn mower, and grabs your morning paper. But what happens when he's out of peppermint tea one night?
If Only the Neighbors Knew by @/attapullman
A month of stolen kisses culminates in Robert hosting the HOA meeting and getting you on his couch. The ladies of the neighborhood may make him blush, but only you can make your sweet neighbor weak in the knees.
*Golden Hour by @/ereardon
Willow, Georgia. Barely even a town, just a speck on a map that you tried to wipe off, mistaking it for a crumb. You’re the outsider: a fancy New York doctor, fresh out of a failed engagement, with zero primary care experience. You’re also the new town doctor, taking over for a recent retiree who was beloved. His son, Bob Floyd, is the other physician at the practice, and takes an immediate dislike to you. But you were looking for a fresh start, and Willow doesn’t seem all that bad if you can get past the fact that there's only one restaurant in town. It helps that you've caught the eye of Bradley Bradshaw, the town attorney, despite the fact that you vowed to take a break from dating. How long until you start to make friends in a town where social circles have been set in stone since elementary school? And what will it take to make Bob Floyd see you’re not as bad as he wants to believe you are?
Ruin the Friendship by @withahappyrefrain
The night before Bob leaves for Boot Camp, he’s learned no one has gone down on his best friend. He’s determined to fix that.
International Bob Floyd Fucks Month Masterlist
a january writing event hosted by @/attapullman
Bob from Stats by @/attapullman
College is a wild time, but absolutely nothing could prepare you for the quiet guy from Stats riding around campus as a cowboy. Or what a good kisser he is.
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watatsumiis · 2 years
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Sitting in their lap - part 3
I'm really enjoying writing this series, so here's another part! :D
Content: Gender neutral reader (referred to as 'you'), described/implied to be physically smaller than most of the characters (simply because I am and that's how I project, but if you'd like an alternate version, send me an ask and I'll whip it up!), pre-established platonic relationships (though this may border into romantic if you consider physical affection to be that way, so be warned)
Part 1 - (Ft. Albedo, Al Haitham, Ayato, Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe)
Part 2 - (Ft. Dainsleif, Diluc, Dottore, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya)
Characters in this one: Kaveh, Kazuha, Lisa, Morax, Pantalone, Pierro
Kaveh is a bit of a squirmer - he loves being kept company though and will do anything he can to make sure you're comfortable. If he's particularly absorbed in a project, he may barely acknowledge you, but you'll find that he just absently starts to fidget and toy with you, stroking your hair and touching your face, tugging at your clothes, as if he's just making sure you're still here. Sometimes he may even ask for your opinions on what he's working on and will just absently chatter away to you. You don't have to listen super intently, he doesn't mind either way, it's just like he enjoys hearing the sound of his own voice.
Kazuha tends to get up and move around a lot, even when he seems to be settled. He finds that moving around can help get the creative juices flowing - but he'll still himself for a while if it seems like you're in need of some attention. He mutters to himself a lot and may even be working on more than one thing at once (sometimes even holding pencils in both hands), catching little snippets of inspiration before they're gone with the wind. Sometimes it seems like he's looking for your input on a quote or idea, but he always seems a little shocked/startled when you provide a response - but not at all displeased, he really likes having someone to share his ideas with. You notice that his writing tends to border into softer/fluffier sorts of stuff when you're sitting with him - perhaps the physical touch affects him more than he lets on.
Lisa thinks it's super cute and sweet of you to seek her out this way - she certainly doesn't mind having an excuse not to do her work (though it's not like she was going to do it in the first place). She'll chuckle and tease you a little, then settle in for the long haul. She may disturb every now and then to ask you if you need anything or if you can shift your position just a little, but other than that you're pretty much left alone - except for the odd occasion when she's particularly bored and might prod or poke you to make you squirm or giggle. She really does enjoy the company - it gets rather lonely in the library sometimes, especially when people are just dropping in and out for books.
Morax, despite his spiky, horned exterior, really enjoys some snuggles, regardless of his current temperament. The clashing of cold blooded dragon and warm blooded human can mean he has difficulty regulating his own temperature, so having something warm curled up in his lap is often just what he needs to even himself out. He'll curl his big tail around you and rest his chin atop your head - you swear you can feel some kind of purr resonating from somewhere deep in his chest. It's almost possessive, the way he curls his unnaturally tall form around you, puffing out a little sigh into your hair. If he happens to be in a talkative mood, you cuddling up to him may also prompt him into telling you a story or reciting a poem he heard long ago - his voice sounds different from behind those wickedly sharp fangs inside his mouth, but it's still unmistakably him. He'll always make a point to thank you for keeping him company once you get up to go (or if he has to go for whatever reason).
Pantalone acts aggrieved at first - don't take it as a personal slight, he's just dramatic. He'll quickly figure out how to continue his work around you (though you may get booted off if someone walks into his study) and you'll find that he starts to absently use you as a fidget toy, twirling your hair around gloved fingers and pressing his cheek lightly against you as he lets out a content hum from the back of his throat, so quiet that you almost feel like you imagined it. If it becomes a regular thing between you two, he may eventually organise for his workers to bring up extra snacks, and maybe a book or something to keep you occupied. His work is mind-numbingly boring and he doesn't really have any way to entertain you personally. He may get a little strict (or even downright mean) if you fidget and squirm too much, and will remind you "You're only in here because I'm gracious enough to allow you to occupy both my time and space. That opportunity can be taken back at any time." Meanie :(
Pierro has a bout of initial confusion and shock, but doesn't really let it show. He'll just let you climb into his lap, giving you this stern and vaguely-disapproving look as you do so, but he won't say anything or make any move to discipline or redirect you - that's pretty much him giving you the go-ahead. He'll hardly even acknowledge you, just working around you as he does what he needs to do. If anyone happens to walk in, he'll act like you're not even there, just go about his business as usual. His resting temperature is a little cool, but not to an unpleasant degree. You may find him setting a hand on your hip or back every nod and then so that you don't tumble off as he shifts his weight around or reaches for something on his desk, but other than that it's like you don't exist at all - unless you get too wriggly or start asking questions, in which case he just lifts you off of him and sets you on your feet somewhere off to the side of the chair like a mother cat repositioning a kitten.
Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagarise my writing! This includes posting translations to other sites.
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lowkeychenle · 7 months
Text
And Then It Was [ZCL] (M) fic teaser
Description: After your marriage with Chenle was arranged by your parents for a company merger, things with him aren't quite like you expect. In your life full of obligations, he's determined to finally give you the ability to make your own choices.
Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst (arranged marriage!au, rich families using their children as business mergers yk) (no actual smut in the teaser but the tension kinda wild lol)
Content Warnings: Not sure of any in the teaser, but in general content warnings will be rich, generational family trauma, mentions of pregnancy and heirs (no actual pregnancy in the fic), reader feels obligated to do literally everything and Chenle's like yeah that's not really cool, umm if I think of more I'll let y'all know
Expected Word Count: 20-30k
Teaser Word Count: 789
Release Date: 8pm EST 2023.3.22
READ HERE :)
Taglist: Open!! Please let me know if you want to be tagged when this comes out <3
Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!Reader (features the rest of dream!)
Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)
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“Chenle?” you call out.
When he appears in the doorway, his shirt is absent, and you were pretty sure he’d been wearing a belt before. His arms are crossed over his chest as he leans against the frame, awaiting you to tell him what you need.
You don’t have to actually speak. Instead, you turn your back to him and pull your hair over your shoulder. He hums behind you, keeping a respectable amount of distance before he grips the zipper.
“What did you do before me?” he asks, hesitant to pull it down.
“Staff.” You shrug. “But I mostly wore things I knew I’d be able to—”
The familiar sound and the rush of cool air against your practically boiling skin as he reveals more of your skin has your breath catching in your throat. You cut yourself off, immediately reaching up to hold the dress to your chest.
“I’m a very accommodating man, (Y/N).” His voice sinks into every inch of your skin. “If you need something, tell me. I’m your husband. It’s quite literally my job to ensure you’re happy, darling.”
The warmth radiating from his bare skin so close to yours has every thought in your brain flying away. Logically, there’d be nothing wrong with giving in to your temptation. It’d been a long time since anyone had touched you, and the man behind you is your husband. Physical attraction had nothing to do with emotions or feelings, so it was okay. One thing you’d never be able to deny is how he’s one of the most beautiful men you’d ever met. Your parents could’ve chosen much, much worse for you.
His voice centimeters from your ear startles you out of your trance. He says, “I wonder what you’re thinking about. You seem a bit distracted.”
“Wouldn’t you love to know.”
“Truly.”
“I need to change.”
“Do you?” He trails a finger up your spine. “You’re so soft. What an odd comparison to that steel wall you’re forcing yourself to keep up.”
“I think you’re forgetting your own boundaries.” You clench your fist into the fabric of your dress. “This wouldn’t be real.”
“What even is this?” His breath fans across your neck, and you’re sure you feel the sublest brush of his lips on your skin. “Tell me where you think this is going. After all, I’m helping you with your dress like a good husband.”
“My dress was dealt with minutes ago.”
“Darling.” He tsks. “If your dress was dealt with already, it would be long, long gone.”
Even like this, you refuse to let him win. If this were to be the extent of your relationship with Chenle, you’d be fine with that. You crave satisfaction, and you also know this is a means to an end. This may be the key to giving your family those fucking heirs they want so badly.
In a bold move, you release your grip on the fabric and allow it to crumple at your feet.
“What?” You tilt your head, grinning when his breathing halts. “Are you the only one who can deliver?”
He places his hand on your hip. “Can I touch you here?”
“Mhm,” you inhale sharply when he squeezes, trying your best not to roll back against him.
“Here?” he whispers, splaying his fingers out along your stomach.
“What’s your goal?” you ask, looking back at him over your shoulder. “You seem like you want something from me.”
His face is much too close to yours, but for some reason, it does little to bother you. When his lips part, you don’t mean to squirm in his touch.
His eyes sweep over your expression, his touch edging just a little further downward until he can play with the lace hem of your panties.
“I’ve told you what I want already.” His gaze locks on your mouth. “Everything. I want it all.”
You gulp, unable to speak for fear of making a fool of yourself.
“What about me makes this hard for you?” he asks.
Despite the softness of his voice, your proximity to him means you see the hint of hurt swimming around in his dark irises. The heat of his bare skin on yours has everything inside you awakening, but you can’t give him what he wants.
“The choice is yours.” He takes a deep breath. “Going forward, the choice is always yours to make. I’m yours in any way you want me.”
The atmosphere around you is so hot, charged, you can’t help the way you struggle to breathe. You lean closer to him, and when your lips brush his, his grip around you tightens.
Before he’s able to initiate a real kiss, a knock sounds on the bedroom door.
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aoioozora · 8 months
Note
THIS IS SO AMAZING OMG (talking about the Simon fanfic btw) YOU JUST EARNED A FOLLOWER ❤️❤️ we'd really appreciate it if you did a part 2? 🥹 Take care
Simon.
Part 2
Part 1 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13
Character: Simon Riley / Ghost
Content: Biker! Ghost x Fem! Reader, strangers to lovers, fluff, civilian au
Note: I was never planning on making this a series but here we go, I guess I'm invested too now >:) thank you for requesting and following! While this series is fluff only, I have a small warning for this part: there's swearing, crude jokes. And possibly incorrect usage of Scottish and English slang. Enjoy :) Photo credit: mus
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“It's pishin’ it doon out here.”
Simon looked at his friend and sighed, “English, MacTavish.” 
MacTavish groaned. “It's raining fuckin’ hard.” 
“Then say so.” 
“I did!” 
Simon and his friend, John MacTavish or ‘Johnny’, as he was affectionately called, found themselves standing under the shade of a book café, helmets in hands, watching Simon's bike get drenched in the heavy rain. Neither of them expected a downpour, and were caught without raincoats. And so the two had no choice but to wait it out. 
“It was yer bloody brilliant idea to go on a road trip when I warned ye that it was gonna rain today,” Johnny griped, crossing his arms as he shook the rain water off his helmet. 
Simon didn't say a word. He copied Johnny in getting the water off his helmet, except that he wiped it off with his hand. As he hung his head down to do so, his messy blond hair fell over his eyes, and he shook his head to get it out of the way. He wiped his hands on a handkerchief to dry them, and then pulled his mask down below his nose to inhale a fresh gulp of the cold, wet air. When he had inhaled enough, he pulled the mask back on, and his eyes wandered to his motorcycle, which was surrounded by a foggy haze in the rain. 
His mind wandered to that night he saved a young lady off the dangerous streets. He remembered how he saw her from afar, and without a second thought, sped up to her assailants, half-intent on actually flattening them into crepes. He remembered how his engine pounded as adrenaline charged his blood, as he twisted the accelerator to full throttle, sending the vehicle flying. 
A pretty lady he thought she was. He didn't know why he called her his girlfriend; his brain decided that being a boyfriend was the second most powerful thing a man could be, the first being a husband. No other men would mess with another man's woman, that was for sure, unless he had a death wish. She acted well too, convincingly even. 
He pulled out his phone and turned it around. Nestled beneath the clear casing was a small, clear candy wrapper, the same one that the pretty lady gave him that day. He didn't know why he felt the need to keep it, but did anyway. He definitely wanted something to remind him of her. 
He had been in anguish ever since he dropped her off and rode away; he had completely forgotten to ask for her name. But who does that? They were strangers. What are the odds that two strangers would meet again? 
“I'm heading inside,” Johnny announced, “I want a coffee.”
“Get me some tea.” 
“Fuckin’ Brit.” 
Simon was about to correct Johnny by telling him that Scotland, where he was from, was also part of the British isles, but he bit back, not wanting to risk hearing a rant in exclusively colorful, and totally family friendly Scottish words and phrases. 
“Fine, I'll do it myself.” Simon rolled his eyes and followed Johnny inside the book cafe. 
The two men sat at a table and while Johnny peered into the menu, Simon sank back into the comfortable chair and looked at the yellow bulbs hanging overhead, casting a soft, golden glow on the smooth wooden tables, the floors, and the cutlery. The smell of coffee, cakes, and books filled the air, along with the soft ruffle of pages, clinks of tableware and cups and saucers, and the distinct murmurs of his friend across him as he figured out what coffee he wanted to have. 
A waiter came by to take their orders, and the two were soon left to their own, sitting in unusual silence as they stared out the glass windows at the relentlessly pouring rain. While Johnny hummed a tune to himself, Simon, tired of looking at the downpour, decided to amuse himself with people watching. 
He saw people working at their laptops, some reading and drinking, others chatting in soft murmurs, and staff doing their job. 
His eyes fell on one particular lady who was seated at a table across the cafe, back facing him, busily working on her laptop. He felt his heart stop for a moment. Her silhouette was familiar, particularly her hair; it looked just like her. His heart pounded beneath his ribs. 
He didn't realise how long he looked until Johnny's voice piped, “Wit ye lookin’ at?” which interrupted the momentary buzz of his thoughts. 
Simon turned to his friend, who was looking at him with mingled curiosity and confusion. “Nothing.” he replied, shaking his head and hanging it down slightly to look away, but his eyes immediately darted to the lady, as if she was a strong magnet. 
Johnny wasn't quite convinced, and he followed Simon's line of vision. “A lass,” he observed, smirking. 
Simon glared at his friend, but it only made him chuckle. The two watched as she stood up for a moment and turned around, intent on walking to the shelves to grab a book. That's when Simon saw her face, and again, his heart seized. 
“It's her.”
His breath lodged tight in his lungs and his body visibly stiffened. And the most unfortunate reaction of them all: his partially exposed cheeks had turned pink. His eyes were glued to her, and he was unaware that Johnny was still keenly observing him. 
“Ye ken her?” asked Johnny, his smirk widening. 
“You remember I saved a girl the other day?” He asked back. 
“That's her?” Johnny whipped his head back again to take another gander at the lady. 
She was furiously flipping through the pages of a hardbound book, as if desperately in search of something. Simon rested his elbow on the armrest of the chair and leaned his cheek on his fist; he watched with interest as she hunched over the book like a medieval scholar, and wondered what her occupation was. She went back to her seat, hunched over again, and the two men looked back at each other. 
“Go talk to her,” Johnny challenged.
“No.”
“Keep bein’ a fuckin’ pussy and ye won't get to fuck that pussy, ye ken?” 
Simon snorted at that, but then immediately and quietly hissed “Wheesht!” at Johnny to make him shut up, glancing back at the pretty lady. “Don't be disrespectful,” he added.
Johnny chuckled, ever amused at the fact that his Scottish vernacular was infecting the Englishman. He leaned forward, resting a hand on his knee, continuing to smirk, “Since when did ye care about respect, huh?” 
Simon inhaled sharply, since he was getting increasingly impatient with Johnny and at the fact that he was running out of arguments. It was also a bit hard to argue in a place where you're supposed to be quiet. 
“Just go already. I cannae see ye looking so stupid like this. The worst she can say is ‘fuck off’.” Johnny shrugged. 
Simon shot his friend and unimpressed look, making Johnny snort. “That is the worst thing she can say, you wanker,” he said, now mechanically rising from his chair. 
“Fuck off and get her number, ye gobshite, or else you'll just be wanking to her and not talking.” Johnny shook his head with a smirk and gave his friend a slap on the back as he passed him. Simon returned the gesture with a slap to the back of Johnny's head, particularly in annoyance at the latter part of his sentence. 
While Johnny whined quietly from how hard a slap he had been dealt with, Simon's attention was drawn when he heard her voice again, sounding a little agitated. His head whipped towards her table, and yet again, she was being hit on by some guy, and clearly looked like she was uncomfortably fighting back his unwanted advances. 
Simon glared at the man as he began his march. “If only she had a boyfriend by her side, a guard dog…” he thought to himself as he speedily, yet calmly stepped over to her table. 
He went around some tables and emerged behind the man, towering over him. Before Simon was noticed by her, his hand came down heavily on the man's shoulder, making him flinch. Leaning down, he whispered as the man turned to face him, “What business do you have with my girlfriend?” 
The man was met with Simon's glaring eyes that meant serious business. He froze up immediately. 
“Babe, he was trying to hit on me even though I told him I wasn't interested,” the lady's voice resounded, and a quick glance at her told Simon that her eyes glimmered with recognition. 
The “babe” made his knees weak for a moment, but he shook off the feeling and continued to glare at the man. No more words were needed. He immediately stood up from his seat and strode away, apologising without sincerity. When he was finally earshot, she sighed. 
“You alright, love?” asked Simon with gentleness unusual to him, glancing around again to make sure the man was nowhere in sight. 
“Yeah, I'm fine,” she sighed, also looking in the direction the man left. She looked back at him and smiled brightly, “But what a coincidence. We meet again, Simon.” 
“And I'm mighty chuffed about it.” he thought to himself as he nodded in response. “Funny coincidence, really. My friend and I were just about to leave on a small road trip and the rain,” he shook his head and clicked his tongue as he looked at the windows, “it rained on our parade, I guess.”
The unintentional pun made her giggle. Simon normally had a grip on his emotions, but that damned giggle threw off his train of thought. But regaining himself, he continued, “So we took shelter here, and I saw you. Thought I'd come talk and then I heard that guy trying to make a pass at you.”
She motioned to the chair for him to sit down, which he instantly did; he cursed himself for seeming so eager. 
“You heard?” she asked with emphasis. 
“Yeah?” he nodded, slightly confused as to why she zeroed in on that word in particular. “I was looking elsewhere, and then I heard you.”
She then glanced at her laptop for a moment and then pulled the screen down slightly so he wouldn't see what was on. As she did, she said, “I see. I'm lucky you came just then because I was having a hard time driving him away.”
“I could tell,” he answered slowly. He then decided to change the subject. “You come here often?” 
“Yeah, every day. This place is calm and quiet and the atmosphere helps me work.”
“What's your job?” 
“I'm an author.” 
“An author?” he blinked in surprise. He didn't expect that. “What do you write about?” 
“Fantasy and adventure… With a hint of romance.” She grabbed her tote that was on the table and pulled out a book from it, which she showed him. “This is my first published book.” 
“No kidding?” He took the book in my hand. It was titled ‘Firefly Trails’, embossed in gold. The cover was matte, showing a dark forest trail dotted with glossy fireflies and their greenish yellow light. Below the title was her name, and he read it in his mind slowly, his eyes spending more time taking it in more than anything else on the cover. 
“New York Times Bestseller.” he recited, smirking as he eyed the epithet on the top of the cover, “Don't they slap this on every book?” 
“They do, but this actually did pretty well in New York.”
“So you're famous then?” 
“Kind of?” 
“Tell me your Instagram handle, I'll need to see for myself.” Simon pulled out his phone and looked at her, waiting for her to tell him. 
She did. He immediately typed it out on the search bar and while he did, he rested his elbow on the table, holding his arm upright. His neck was craned upward slightly, and the lady couldn't help but stare at the way his Adam's apple moved as he gulped, and the way the sternocleidomastoid muscle tightened and popped from under his fair skin as he moved his neck. 
Her analytical, authorly eyes scanned him keenly, soaking in all she could make of his facial features; at his icy blond hair, short and styled in an undercut; his long eyelashes, his shapely eyebrows, his slightly pink cheeks under the black mask, the way his brown eyes reflected against the blue light of the phone screen; it was all a sight to behold. He was saying something, but her mind was so lost in trying to mentally string words together to describe the view in front of her in the most superfluous manner possible, in hopes that this information would be used in her future works. 
“Hey, you really are famous. You got quite a tonne of followers.” Simon, who was highly aware of her shameless staring, somehow managed to interrupt her flow of thought. 
She was successfully brought back to Earth from her daydream, and she nodded, now embarrassed to have been caught red-handed. He thankfully made no comment on it, not wanting to make things awkward.
She answered, “I suppose so. But they're not as many as bigger authors. I'm not complaining, though. I'm really happy to have a lot of people liking my work.”
“You're too modest,” he said, and she could see his cheeks rise to his eyes just a wee bit behind his mask, indicative of a smile. He now showed her her Instagram page on his phone. “There, I followed you,” he said, pointing at the grey ‘Following’ button.
“Are you sure? You don't look like the type of person who reads or is interested in author updates.” A slightly teasing smirk tugged the corner of her lips. 
Simon chuckled and shook his head slightly, making his short hair swish a little; she took notice of it. “I'm a voracious reader,” he bragged, lying through his teeth, even using a fancy word to make it more convincing. 
She smiled, clearly not quite convinced, but decided to humor him anyway. “If you are, then that book is a gift for you.” She glanced at the copy resting on his lap. 
“No kidding?” he blinked as he took the book in his hand to gaze at it. “Well, since you're so famous, I think I should get your autograph.” he said, and she could see one of his cheeks raised; an unmistakable smirk. 
“Oh, come on, you're making me blush,” she giggled, but took the book anyway.
"My intentions exactly," he thought as he watched her grab a pen and start writing on the first page. 
His phone buzzed a message in the meantime, and he took the device to have a look. It was Johnny. He glanced at the other end of the cafe at his friend, and found him staring, finishing the last sips of his coffee. 
Johnny MacTavvy: oi yer tea's getting cauld 
Johnny MacTavvy: Rain's stopped too. Let's go 
Simon now looked out the glass windows and the rain had indeed stopped, and a bit of sunlight was peeking through the cloudy skies. He sighed, not wanting to go just yet, but knowing Johnny wouldn't let him tarry any longer, he quickly typed a reply, which Johnny saw immediately. 
Fuckin’ Brit: ok 
By the time Simon kept his phone in his pocket, the lady finished her autograph and handed the book to him. “Enjoy.” She smiled. 
Simon murmured a “Thanks” as he received the book, and then rose from his seat. 
“Leaving already?” she asked, looking a little disappointed. 
“Yeah, my friend's annoying me to finish my tea so we can be on our way. The rain's stopped now, so…”
“Okay,” she nodded slightly, glancing out the windows to confirm for herself. Looking back at him, she smiled again, “Take care then.” 
“You too,” he inhaled. “Make sure you don't get hit on again,” he said, attempting to be casual and funny, but he felt like his attempt turned out to be so stupid. 
She shook her head, scoffing and smiling. “I'll be fine.” 
He was relieved that the attempt landed safely despite the turbulence, and he sighed. “Right then, I'll see you inna bit, love.” 
“See you, Simon.” 
He nodded once at her and then strode back to Johnny, feeling his knees get weaker by the second. He managed to reach his table and practically fell down in his seat. 
“Well?” asked Johnny with a smirk as he leaned forward and eyed the book in Simon's hand. “She gave ye a gift, I see.” 
“She's an author. Her first book.” Simon answered, handing him the book so he could see it. 
“For real?” Johnny took the book and flipped through the pages. The autograph on the first page caught his attention and he read it. His eyes widened slightly and he closed the book, returning it to his friend, who was drowning the lukewarm tea. “He completely forgot, didnae he, this bastard.” Johnny muttered under his breath, smirking. 
“What was that?” asked Simon, setting down the teacup. 
“Nothing. Let's go.” 
The two paid for their drinks and as they stepped out the door, Simon glanced back at her, and saw that she was also looking at him over her shoulder. This time, he felt a bit fluttery in his stomach. She waved at him with another of those pretty smiles and he waved back, already feeling his knees go weak again. 
The two turned away and exited the book cafe. While Johnny wiped the rainwater off the motorcycle, Simon took a moment to see what she had written as an autograph. 
“Dear Simon, thank you for saving me twice. I hope you enjoy the book,” was written, and along with that was her name and signature.
Below that was written in unmistakably bold and clear letters, “Call me,” along with her number. 
Simon felt like he had been struck by lightning. His face turned alarmingly red and hot to the point that he scrambled to pull his hood over to hide himself. “Fuck me…” he mumbled his exclamation as he processed this very clear green light from her. It was unbelievable. 
In the meantime, the lady herself  couldn't believe this whole thing just happened. He happened to be there, came up to her, saved her, and swooped her off her feet the second time. It was an amazing coincidence, a once in a lifetime incident, something straight out of a novel. And being an author, she couldn't let this go. She just had to shoot her shot by slapping her phone number in the autograph and now hope that he would call her.
But if there was one thing that sold her completely, it was the fact that he heard that she was in trouble, and came to her rescue. 
Feeling a flutter in her chest, she looked back at her laptop screen. A Google search result was displayed in bold:
“The name Simon means ‘to hear’.”
End of Part 2.
Part 3
322 notes · View notes
bonny-kookoo · 2 years
Text
Jungkook: Why Not 🔞
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In which Jungkook has you figured out. Dirty humor, mean and bratty- you're pretty much simply a bitch. So why are you crying over some scraped up knees and a dirty plushy?
Tags/Warnings: non-Idol AU, enemies to lovers, reader acts like she could kill but is actually a cinnamon roll, Jungkook just simply is a cinnamon roll, adult themes, fluff, romance, short!reader go cry about it, smut but very low-carb (handjob, cum in pants oops), slight DDLG-aspects/themes? Soft daddy/dom vibes from kook?
Length: longer than JKs Dick career
Additional Content: How So (Part 2)
A/N: have to post it shortened bc the longer version breaks the app :) have some fluff comfort after all that angst psycho shit I posted.
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It's not like Jungkook hates you. He really, honestly, doesn't.
In fact, he admires how honest you are, in a way. You seem comfortable with yourself, which shows in a healthy amount of confidence, no thought wasted on what people might think of your outfit or makeup. You're very expressive and creative, and you always work out solutions whenever everyone else would suggest simply giving up.
You're just.. too bold for him. He's not really interested in most things you discuss- which is often something lewd- and he also doesn't really share any interests with you. You're a miss know-it-all, you get dramatic if you don't get your way, and you manipulate people around you to even out your road ahead. You make demeaning jokes about yourself and you always put yourself down in a comedic manner- and he just doesn't like that. Even so, he still never casts you out, or ignores you. It's odd, because whenever you have one on one interactions, he can't help but feel like you're not the same as with others around. Just like right now.
You're currently all eating at a sushi place - you're sitting across from him, cleavage dangerously exposed, but he's got no right to be offended by it. In a way, he admires the way you seem to be so comfortable. But he can't help but notice the way you keep adjusting your top all the time, tugging and pulling constantly.
If it's making you so fidgety, why wear it? It irritates him a bit. He'll never understand why most girls choose fashion over comfort.
Your best friend Namjoon had told him before that you're actually not like this at all. That you're a great friend, caring and gentle and actually very fragile, and even a little shy and quiet when no one's around - however, Jungkook believes that's just your best friend trying to make you look good. You're totally fine the way you are - you're just too much for him personally. There's nothing wrong with that.
Just because he might not enjoy your personality, doesn't mean you have to change it.
But he doesn't question it, continues to eat and listen in on conversations, laughing along jokes and funny stories. He likes the energy of this. It's unforced, comfortable, easy. He's just about to continue eating, when he notices the glance you throw at his plate, something you've done a couple of times now, seemingly thinking about something, before looking away again, engaging in the conversation as if to distract yourself. "Do you want a piece?" He asks you as soon as there's a good moment, a bit more quiet as to not interrupt the current topic being discussed at the table.
You look at him, wide-eyed just for a second, before you shake your head. "It's fine. I'll maybe try it next time, though." You tell him with a smile. "Does it taste good?" You wonder, and he can't help but be amused. How come you can make straight-up dick-jokes at the dinner table, but you can't accept his offered food that you clearly got your eyes on?
"I don't know if my taste is the same as yours." He shrugs, watching as you chew on the inside of your lip now. "Let's trade, if that makes you feel better." He offers instead, and at that, you visibly perk up, eagerly putting a piece of yours on his plate to receive his.
You're.. kind of cute like this. Oddly so.
He watches without staring too much as you eat his gifted piece of sushi, clearly enjoying the taste of it as you swing your legs under the table a little. "This is good." You comment, making him nod with a smile before you both pay attention to the conversation again.
He doesn't really think much about the whole interaction afterwards.
It's not like it's anything special.
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"Ah, fuck." Namjoon curses, looking at his phone. "God, fuck. Yoongi I'm so sorry, I forgot I was supposed to drive with Y/N to her doctor's appointment today." He apologizes, making Jungkook look up from his phone.
"Is it something bad?" Yoongi asks, genuinely a bit concerned as Namjoon just seems unsure.
"We don't know, just a routine thing."He replies. "But you never know. And she's a little anxious, too. I wouldn't want her taking the bus or anything alone in that state." He explains, and everyone seems to agree that that's not a good idea. You're well known to not possess the most basic orientation skills sometimes - and with your head all over the place like this, it could just end with you getting hurt.
"What if I drive her real quick?" Jungkook offers casually, looking up from his phone from where he sits on the small sofa in Yoongi's studio. "You both can continue working, and I didn't have anything to do anyways." He shrugs.
"You know what, great idea." Yoongi chimes up.
"I'll.. text her. See if she's okay with that." Namjoon offers with a little hesitance, making Jungkook wonder how serious this appointment really is. Did you have any health troubles you'd been hiding? He's always been told to never judge a book by its cover. Maybe you were just putting on a tough mask to cover up what you thought was weakness?
Jungkook doesn't believe in that. You've always been this way ever since he'd met you.
"She said she's fine with it." Namjoon sighs after a moment, making Jungkook lock his phone and get up. "Here, let me at least bring you down." Namjoon offers, walking out the studio and towards the underground garage where Jungkook has his car parked. "Listen- can you do me a favor?" He wonders, and Jungkook nods.
"Sure." He says, opening the driver's door to throw his wallet into the back together with his jacket. "What is it?"
"Listen, it's a.. gynecologists' appointment." Namjoon says, quietly so, while Jungkook just.. stares, unable to quite grasp on why his friend would say it in a way that makes it seem as if the word is something you can't ever say out loud. So you're going to a specialist. So what? "It's her first time there. She's honestly terrified, so, if you could maybe go in with her and sit in the waiting room? Just, to keep her mind off of things." Namjoon carefully says.
Again, Jungkook just shrugs, before nodding. "Sure, no issue." He says, getting into the car. "I'll text you when she's back home then. You go up and help Yoongi." He says, before putting his phone into the holder, maps app opened to find where you're waiting.
He's a bit confused inside the car. With the way you're always talking, he'd been sure you would've been a regular at those places. Not because he thought you were a whore, God no, but he just believed until now that you'd be someone who's open and casual with it.
So why are you terrified of a simple doctor's visit?
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"You uhm.. really don't have to." You mumble quietly next to him, anxiously playing with your hands in your lap. You've been quiet the entire time, not really talking at all, and especially not looking at him. He's a little worried about that, wondering if you're maybe in pain, or really unwell in general to the point of changing your personality like this. "I know this must be weird for you." You say quietly.
"Not really, no. I went to one of these with my mom once, so its fine." He shrugs next to you, trying to maybe soothe your nerves by showing you that he's not at all weirded out or uncomfortable. To be honest, he's a bit surprised- because right now, the girl sitting next to him, isn't at all the girl he'd thought he had figured out.
However, he also assumes you might just be heavily uncomfortable with your health, which could add to you just behaving like you do right now. "You feeling okay? Should I ask them how long it's gonna be?" He asks, and you just shake your head.
"No, I can wait." You just say, trying hard to appear unbothered now. "Guess I'm just not really looking forward to a fifty-plus year-old digging around where the light doesn't reach, you know?" You attempt to joke as always, but Jungkook can spot the fakeness of it.
"Joon said it's your first time." He says, locking his phone now before putting it away.
"Son of a bitch." You curse under your breath, leaning back in your seat with your arms crossed and legs thrown forwards, heels hitting the floor. You look almost defensive now, as if he'd just insulted you. "Yeah, I didn't need to go until now." You shrug. "But my regular physician keeps bugging me to check some stuff out, and Joon has been bothering me about it too." You say. "Not like he's got anything to do with my vagina for that matter."
"Well, he worries." Jungkook shrugs next to you. "And if you've got health issues, you should always get them checked out for that matter. Could be nothing, could be something. I can understand him." He explains to you. "He cares a lot about you."
"hmhm." You affirm quietly, a bit distant now, staring at the tips of your shoes. "Joon has always been a really good friend." You say, and jungkook nods. Namjoon is the main connection between Jungkook and you- the older guy being somewhat of a brother to him, in a way. He really admired his friend a lot, for his achievements as well as his determination to always better himself. He can't deny that he never really quite understood your friendship with him- with you being so extremely different from him- but he never questioned either. "He's honest." You mumble out, and Jungkook has to agree.
"He is." Jungkook nods, though he feels like there's something more to it. He doesn't get to ask however, because your name is suddenly called- and you jump up, taking a deep breath. "Hey-" Jungkook asks, and you look down to where he sits, as he smiles encouragingly. "-You'll be fine." He promises, and you nod, before disappearing with the nurse into the examination room.
It doesn't take too long for you to emerge back out, a prescription written in front as he gets your coat and walks towards you to the counter. "If it gets any worse, just give us a call, alright?" The nurse asks, and you just quietly nod before you walk out with Jungkook trailing right behind you.
"Everything alright?" He asks, and you nod, though next to him in the car, you run your hands over your face.
"I don't ever wanna go there again." You groan, hands still hiding your face as Jungkook looks at you a bit concerned now.
"Did something happen?" He asks seriously, canceling his action of starting the car.
You take down your hands. "No. It was just.. weird." You say. "The questions were nasty. I don't know." You say quietly, and Jungkook can do nothing but start the car to drive you home. He wishes he could- but at the end of the day, this is something he can't and won't ever really understand fully. He hopes it's just the new experience freaking you out.
Parking in front of your apartment building, you really look a bit terrified now. No longer because of the appointment though- but because of the honestly world-ending rain hitting his car like it's trying to smash it flat into the concrete below. "Its really going hard outside now." Jungkook laughs, but you don't seem to be in a joking manner at all. "If you run you won't get wet."
"I don't want you to drive in this weather." You say meekly, barely able to be heard over the loud rain.
"I'll just wait until it's better." He waves off, looking at you drowned in the orange interior light of his car. You seem to think, before you turn to look at him, eyes reflecting the led lights all around like mirrors. You're really pretty, without all that makeup.
"You can come up? Just, it's cold, and if you leave the car running that's bad for the environment and you're also wasting gas-" you ramble, and he laughs, shutting down the car at that, before grabbing his keys.
"Alright." He shrugs. "If you're cool with that." He asks, and you nod after a moment. He chuckles a bit, before grabbing onto the door handle, still looking at you. "On three?" He asks, and your face lights up in playfulness.
"One?" You start, making him grin.
"Two.." he continues, making you smile as well, before you both pull on the handle.
"Three!"
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Your apartment is everything he did not expect.
"Sorry, it's a bit messy.." you say, taking off your shoes before you slip into the pink slippers close by. The coat hooks on the side of the entrance are cat shaped. The mat where the shoes are put is pink. And from what he can see, everything you have is bright, pastel colored, cute.
Almost innocently so.
You're right and wrong with it being messy, he notices as he walks into the apartment. It's small, but cozy- blankets and round plushies littering the couch close by, kitchen sink containing some dishes you didn't wash or didn't put away yet. It is a bit untidy, but not messy, in his eyes.
It just.. looks like his own apartment. Simply alive.
"Do you.. want tea?" You ask, quietly, and he nods as he walks closer to you in the open kitchen. "I.. have a lot of different flavors so.. just choose one you like." You explain, opening a cabinet that's basically all about tea. Different mugs, mostly animal designs, flower shaped coasters, sugar and many different brands and flavors of tea, boxes a bit unaligned. He pulls out a little baggy of the box that's the most empty, making you smile a bit shyly. "I like that one the most." You admit.
"I assumed. Might as well try it then." He shrugs casually, letting you boil the water while he looks around from his spot. "Your apartment is really nice." He comments.
"Thank you." You answer quietly, pouring the water into the two mugs. "Namjoon sometimes sleeps over because, according to him, my pull-out couch is more comfy than his own bed." You joke, and Jungkook laughs.
"That sounds like him." He nods, accepting the mug before you both walk towards said couch. "Granted, he sleeps on a mattress on the floor though." He tells you.
You laugh. "He's way too much of a cheapskate to buy a bedframe." You shake your head. "He could just buy it and pay it off monthly." You say.
"He could. But I guess we'll never know why he refuses to buy one." Jungkook answers, watching as you toe off your slippers to get more comfortable on the couch next to him- before you put the mug back on the small table, jumping up towards the windows, opening them. "Its still raining heavy." He says, and you nod, turning off the lights, streetlights of the city illuminating the room enough to still see, as you walk back on the couch, pulling a blanket over your shoulders. "What're you doing?" He chuckles when you put one over his shoulders as well.
"I like listening to the rain. And it smells nice." You say, wind blowing into the apartment. "And airing out is important too." You tell him, leaning your head against the backrest of the couch. He nods.
This is nice.
He'd never really thought of those aspects of rain, has always just seen it as bad. It's already slowly stopping to rain so hard, now just a soft mist, but you're right. It smells nice, not like the usual faint city smog, but clean, and fresh. The air might be cold, icy on the tip of his nose, but its also refreshing, calming.
"This is nice." He comments before he turns, noticing a bit of weight on his back. You're asleep, resting against his back, and he uses this moment to look at you a bit.
Maybe Namjoon had been right, he thinks as he adjusts you to lay your head on his thigh, tucking your blanket in around you.
Maybe you're not who he thought you were.
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"What do you mean you were inside her apartment?" Namjoon asks, visibly surprised as he puts down his chopsticks for a moment. "She let you inside?"
"It was raining hard, didn't want to let me drive home, so I had some tea at hers and left later. She fell asleep anyways, she was pretty beat, so I left a note and drove home after closing her windows." Jungkook casually explains, continuing his lunch across his friend.
"You do know she doesn't even let her own mother visit, right?" Namjoon asks, and Jungkook shakes his head.
"No, how would I know?" He says. "From how she acts and speaks, I thought she'd have regular visitors." He says, scooping up some rice as his friend across shakes his head.
"No. She hates visitors. She doesn't even open for the mailman." Namjoon says. "Her apartment is her safety zone. I'm surprised she let you in." He shrugs.
"Maybe you just don't know her that well." Jungkook teases his friend.
"You simply don't know her at all, Jungkook." He says. "Listen.. I, don't know how to say this.. " he starts, and Jungkook raises his brow in confusion.
"I'm not gonna fuck her, if that's what you're worried about." He says, and Namjoon runs a hand over his face.
"Thats.. that wasn't something I was worried about until you mentioned it actually." He mumbles. "So yeah. Don't do that please. And also, don't.. just, don't get too close to her. In general."
"Why?" Jungkook wonders honestly now. "Joon, she's not gonna break my heart or something. I'm an adult man, not a lovesick boy going through puberty. She's not even my type." He laughs.
"Jungkook, I'm serious." The older guy says, picking his chopsticks back up. "Just.. leave it as it is right now."
"What're you worried about?" Jungkook wants to know, finishing his meal as he wipes his hands clean. "You seem so serious about this."
"Because I am." He underlines again. "I told you before, she's not who she pretends she is." He reminds the younger, who leans back, arms crossed.
"What, is she a criminal?" He wonders. "Sells drugs? Owns guns? Criminal record?"
"Theres things I won't tell you cause that's not my right." Namjoon explains. "You're a good guy, I know that, she knows that. But if you get too close, she'll just get attached again." He sighs.
"And?" Jungkook clicks his tongue. "Nothing wrong with that. We're attached too. That's what friendships are. Attachments."
"I meant it as in, more than that." Namjoon mumbles in a somber tone.
"Oh." Jungkook realizes. "I.. don't think I'm her type anyways." He laughs it off, but Namjoon doesn't seem convinced.
"Just.. keep your distance." He warns. "Its for the best."
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Namjoon doesn't tell him anything about you since that day.
You don't seem to hang out with everybody as much, and he himself hasn't seen you in what's been weeks now. Everytime he checks on you via your best friend, all he gets is a short answer that's way too vague to be the actual truth. Jungkook isn't sure why he's so interested in the first place. Maybe it's that small tiny glimpse of you that you've shown him, let him taste, before disappearing from his radar.
It bothers him, mainly because he feels like Namjoon has made him out to be the bad guy that's going to break your heart it seems. He's never given a clear reason why. He's never done anything wrong.
But its not like you've vanished into thin air, and because of pure luck, he spots you in a store he's visiting quite often, crouched down at the plushy-section. He almost didn't recognize you, pastel pink bucket hat and facemask hiding you pretty well- but for some reason, he still somehow knows it's you.
You seem to struggle between buying one or the other, holding both as you glance from one of the plush toys to the other.
"Tough decision, hm?" He asks, careful not to startle you but he still does, the seemingly sudden attack of his voice sending you straight onto your butt from your squatting position. "Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you like that." He chuckles, helping you up and standing.
"No worries. I didn't pay attention." You say, while you hold onto the still packaged stuffed animals. "And uh.. yeah. I was thinking of taking, you know, maybe one." You mumble more or less. "Both are too expensive."
"Yeah, they price these pretty high in my opinion." He affirms, poking one of the plastic bags you're holding. "What's so special about these?" He wonders, and your eyes suddenly grow bigger, hands squishing the thing eagerly.
"They're squishy, and soft!" You explain to him eagerly. "Try it! They're like, I don't know, stress balls or something!" You say, and he does as you say, pulling and pressing down on the round purple creature.
"Hm yeah okay, I can see where you're coming from." He nods, charmed by your cute enthusiasm over the toy. "So, which one you taking?"
"I.. like the color of this one, and its a shark, but the other one is a chicken and cute too.. like, look at those little wings.." you complain, pulling on said wings a bit before you look down. "I don't know."
"Why not buy both and just.. skip out on buying any next month?" He wonders. "Treat yourself. For being brave at the doc's." He chuckles, and you start to fidget on the spot a little.
"They're too expensive." You reason. "If I buy both, I won't have enough money to buy proper groceries next week, and Joon has been bugging me about not eating frozen foods all the time.." you complain.
"Well, he's right, that's not exactly healthy." Jungkook agrees, before taking the chicken from you and turning it to see the price tag. "Its alright. Let me buy it then." He shrugs.
"You- no, you really don't have to." You say.
"I know." He smiles. "But I want to."
You don't say anything. You're not sure Jungkook is aware of what he's doing, supporting your bad habit of buying 'kid's stuff' as Namjoon scolds you constantly. Walking towards checkout, you can't help but wonder. "Did you and Joon fight?" You ask, and Jungkook shrugs.
"Not sure, honestly." He admits. "He's.. I guess he doesn't trust me with you."
"What does you mean?" You wonder in a serious manner, careful to make sure the line keeps moving as you walk next to him towards the cash registers.
"Thats what I'm wondering." He says. "Namjoon seems pretty protective over you. I don't know, usually I'd say he's got the hots for you, but he's with Jin, so that can't be the reason." He tells you, before walking closer to the busy cashier.
"As if anyone's got the hots for me but fourty-plus year old men." You scoff.
"Hey now, don't do that." He clicks his tongue. "I bet most guys are just- intimidated by you. You know." He shrugs, waiting in line next to you with the round chicken plush tucked under his arm. "I know I was."
"Was?" You wonder, and he laughs down at you, his smile almost blinding.
"Yeah, definitely past tense." He jokes. "Now I just think you're cute."
You want to question that further. Suddenly, it's your turn, but Jungkook walks right behind you, pulls out his credit card way before you can grab your wallet, pays for both the stuffed animals and walks you out the store.
"How'd you get here?" He wonders, as you both walk outside.
"Bus." You answer, and he nods.
"You want me to drive you home?" He asks. "I don't mind, it's on the way for me."
"Jungkook.." you suddenly say, voice trembling a little as you stand in front of him at the side of the parking lot. "I.. appreciate your kindness but, uhm.. please don't." You say, and he's a bit taken aback by it.
"Did I do something wrong?" He wonders. "If I came off too strong, I apologize. Really didn't mean to."
"Its just that.. I'm kind of tired getting friendzoned." You laugh bitterly. "Its kind of old at this point. Seeing everyone be nice to you and then move on once they've found their special someone."
"Thats.." he starts, brows all scrunched up as he stands in front of you. "You're not some part-time activity." He explains honestly to you. "I'm not being nice to you to fight my boredom or anything like that. And you're definitely not friendzoned." He chuckles a little.
"I'm always friendzoned." You scoff. "I'm just everyone's little sister, or the lewd one that's always up for a random call when the date doesn't show up." You argue.
"Well, here's the thing." Jungkook tells you, gently uncrossing your arms before placing the two round plushies in each, respectively. "I really don't care what's made you build up that tough mean-girl persona you've created. But I'd like to get to know the girl that's looking at me right now, just like this." He grins, tapping the underside of your chin teasingly. "You're teasing me with those glimpses of you every now and then. I want to know more, if you'd let me."
"That 'me' is boring." You say. "She's childish."
"I've thrown a tamper tantrum before." He shrugs.
"She's stupid." You tell him, but he shakes his head.
"I doubt that. We all got brain-farts every now and then." He crosses his arms, amused smirk on his face at your attempts to drive him away.
"She's cries over Disney movies." You try, and he laughs.
"Hey come on, everyone cries over the fox and the hound!" He simply defends, and you sigh, almost annoyed.
"Jungkook you say all that right now as if it won't end with me hopelessly falling in love with you, while you're gonna leave me behind because 'you're sorry but you've met someone and you're a great friend but nothing more'!" You complain.
"You won't even try and let me love you." He softly says, and you're a little shocked at how easy he says the for you dreaded 'L'-word. It's a big word. A heavy one. "I can't stand here and promise you that I'll fall in love with you, because first and foremost, I don't know you. And you don't know me either." He explains. "But that's something we can change. You just have to let me in."
"And you don't have to let me in?" You try and jab at him, making him laugh.
"I don't have to let you in." He simply says. "You've been seeing who I am the whole time. I'm not hiding anything." He shrugs.
"..." you pull the two stuffed animals a bit closer to yourself, plastic crinkling in your arms before you speak. "What if you don't like who I am?" You wonder quietly.
"Then at least we tried." He offers. "Life is scary. Meeting new people is scary. Letting people go is scary." He softly explains. "But if you just hide away from those things, you'll also miss out on opportunities to experience something great. Meet someone special. Or create a memory you'll never forget."
"So you're saying you already know you won't like me?" You say, now just being stubborn to see what he does.
"Stop putting words into my mouth you brat." Be laughs. "I don't like the 'you' that you force yourself to be. I know that for sure." Jungkook tells you, grabbing his car keys from his pant pocket. "But I feel like I'm gonna like this you that's right in front of me right now a lot."
He speaks bold, appears honest. You're still not sure if you trust him. And namjoon had told you to really keep him at distance, stay on high alert of anything.
But somehow, he's caught you, sticky like honey already staining your skin.
And you've always had a sweet tooth.
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It kind of feels like sneaking around.
Even though right now, you're doing nothing naughty at all, not even remotely. Jungkook is simply helping you cook, watches the pizza in the oven before he puts the mitts to the side. "You got a timer set?" He wonders, and you nod.
"I've got it to the full time for now, let's hope we don't forget the check every now and then." You say, and he nods, walking into the living room with you. The smell of food is already slowly invading your space, and you open a window to make sure it airs out before you'll go to bed later.
He's staying over. You're surprisingly calm about it.
On the couch, he's looking at you from the side. "What?" You wonder, and he shrugs.
"I'm just wondering." He says. "Why do you act so differently around others?"
"Because everyone walks over you when you're soft." You explain, pulling your legs closer to yourself next to him. "No one takes you seriously. You're just the quiet girl and nothing interesting. No one cares." You mumble.
Jungkook wants to tell you that's not true, but he knows that he'd be wrong. It's sad that soft hearts get put in a hard shell because of what most people think should be an admirable personality. Someone strong doesn't have to be someone who's always bold and loud.
When his fingers find your knee, you stiffen. It makes him question out loud what he's been having on the tip of his tongue for a while now, ever since arriving at your place. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" He wonders, and you shake your head- before shrugging, unsure. "You're a bit confusing. In a way, cause you seem like you want me close, but when I am, you start to look all cornered, just like now." He wonders.
"Yeah well.. when a guy touches me, it's always been just for that." You say. "You know. Sex."
His face becomes serious. You notice quickly how that sounded.
"Nothing bad ever happened! Not really." You admit. "But it's.. I guess I should've told you right from the start. So you won't get your hopes up." You sigh. "I don't.. want to have sex."
"Okay." He says. "Neither do I right now. I just want to touch you. Nothing else."
"Yeah no, I mean it as in- not right now, probably not anytime soon, maybe never?" You ask more or less. "I've.. never had sex before. And at this point it feels like I've just passed all the opportunities to have it with anybody."
"Do you dislike the thought of it?" He wonders. "What's making you uncomfortable about it?"
"I.. guess I'm scared it'll be awkward?" You say, wiggling your feet a bit. "What if I don't like something, for example? Or if I make a weird sound, or, I don't know, don't cum or you don't cum and then it's all wasted time and just awkward.." you try and explain.
"You're intimidated by it." He sums it up for you, and you nod. "Thats fine. First's are scary, no matter what kind."
"I'm an adult." You conquer. He laughs.
"I'm one too, and I'm still freaked out by shit!" He laughs. "But, to get back to the topic, I'm okay with that."
"Okay with not having sex?" You wonder, and he nods.
"I mean, I get it's important for most people, and I like the intimacy of it, yeah. But it's not a necessity." He shrugs. "I can jerk myself off just fine."
You deflate a little, both because you feel more calm now, but also because you don't know how to tell him you might be interested in the entire topic. But it seems like he can read minds.
"We can also, you know, ease into it." He offers. "Doesn't have to be all hard-core bondage first time." Jungkook laughs. "You okay with this whole discussion?" He gently asks, and you nod.
You're weirdly alright with it.
"So let's like- what do you like?" He wonders. "As in, when you masturbate, what's something you enjoy?"
You cringe a bit. He laughs. You're cute.
"I.. uh.." you stammer, voice a lot more quiet now. "I've got like, a vibrator? That's nice." You shrug. "Other than that, uhm, just my hand. You know. Basic stuff."
Jungkook nods. "Ever put something in?"
"It.. uh. Dunno. Never really came from it alone." You say. "Which is also why I think sex with me is gonna be weird because I've never really gotten myself off on just that." You say.
"Doesn't mean anything." He shakes his head. "The mood, foreplay, all of that makes a huge difference. That and the fact that someone else is doing it. I remember my first handjob I got. It was weird as fuck, even though technically I should've been used to it." He laughs. "I think what personally scared me most was just being naked I guess." He offers some past fears of his own.
You nod at that. "Same."
"You're pretty tough." He smiles. "I'm not just saying that. I think you're pretty, with clothes and without as well." He flirts.
"I'm still not having sex with you." You defend yourself, and he shrugs, smiling still.
"I know." He tells you. "I'm still fine with that."
It's quiet for a moment, until you speak up again. You're not sure why you're bringing it up again when you could've just let it go, because clearly you've always been against the idea of having sex with someone. But with Jungkook, for some reason, it's so easy to talk about all of this.
"I.. you said you'd ease into it " you mumble quietly. He nods. "How?"
"I could just jerk you off." He shrugs. "Simple hand job. Clothes can stay on."
"And then?" You wonder.
"Then what?" He chuckles. "The you'll know if you like someone else doing something like that for you." He offers.
"What if I'll fall in love with you then?" You quietly ask, and he impishly smiles.
"Then I've done one he'll of a good job." He jokes, before looking at you more seriously. "In all seriousness though. I wouldn't mind you falling in love with me."
"I can tell." You say, looking away. "You're easy to love."
"Thank you." He offers. "You're very easy to fall in love with too."
"That makes no sense." You roll your eyes. "Love and lust aren't the same. You just want to screw me."
"Do I?" He raises his brows. "Can't lie and say you're not physically attractive to me. But I stand by what I said. If you don't want sex, I won't ask for it."
"You'll just end up leaving me for someone who wants it." You bitterly laugh. He doesn't look happy.
"No." He says. "Okay, do you want be with me? Emotionally, I mean?" He asks you, and you look at him wide eyes. "Yes, I'm asking you out here."
"I-" you stammer, caught off guard. "Yeah?"
"Is that a question or an answer?" He teases, making you whine.
"Maybe? Yes?" You try again, but he just shakes his head.
"Alright." He simply answers. "I'll go look, see if the pizza is burned yet. You calm down, I think I've riled you up enough." He laughs, hand on your shoulder for just a second before he leaves you to yourself, giving you some breathing room.
It gives you time to think.
You like him. He's a nice guy, good looking too, and he seems honest about his intentions. You don't love him yet, but its clear that he's easy to fall in love with. But isn't love a requirement to start a relationship? Can you just get together and then fall in love?
You're not sure. But you also want to find out.
So when he emerges from your kitchen, you call out to him. "I want to." You say, and he looks at you wide eyed for just a moment, before he seems to realize what you're talking about. "I.. wanna be with you." You say.
And he smiles, grins brightly, like a kid just being offered a trip to Disney world.
"Okay."
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"Everything alright?" He chuckles, voice breaking the silence in the darkened living room. "I can hear you creeping around."
It's true, you've been trying to keep quiet because you really don't know how to ask this. It's been bugging you for hours now, there's no way it seems you'll be able to fall asleep without at least attempting to solve this issue. But how do you ask for it?
He'd asked you out. You're together now, right?
"I- uh.." you wonder quietly, navigating slowly towards the pull-out couch where he's laying on. "Just wanted to see if everything's alright." You chicken out last moment, and he laughs softly.
"I'm alive and well." He answers you, before he throws back one side of the blankets, patting the spot next to him. "You wanna sleep here?" He wonders, and you sigh.
"How come you know that?" You almost whine, walking closer before you crawl underneath the warmed up blankets he'd been resting under. "Thanks." You say, but he shakes his head.
"No problem. You can come closer, too." He tells you more quietly now that you're already laying next to him.
It takes a moment for you. You're not sure how close you want to get, how close he will let you- so you slowly scoot forwards, inching closer like a scared animal before you finally settle with your head on the inside of his shoulder, arm over his middle. "Is that okay?" You wonder. He nods.
"Definitely." He answers. "Do you cuddle a lot?" He wonders, and you shake your head.
"I've not.. cuddled with anybody since I was a child." You admit. "So I.. jungkook, I'm gonna need a lot of help for this." You confess quietly. "I don't know how this works. How I'm supposed to act, what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what's right and what's not."
"Thats fine." He reassures you.
It's a little silent after that. You don't know what to say, how to ask. Isn't it weird now? Won't you move too fast? "What's going on in there." He teases, finger flicking your head rather gently. You move around a little uncomfortably. He notices right away. "Not good? You can go back to your bed if it's not comfortable." He offers.
"I don't know.." you say, unsure how to put it in words. "..I'm still thinking about what you said. Earlier." You mumble.
"What exactly?" He wonders quietly.
"The uhm.. you know. Sex part." You stammer out.
"I really don't need it." He chuckles. "Might be hard to grasp but if you don't want it I won't bother you with it."
"I want to." You say. It's dead quiet for a moment before you continue. "Like.. how you said. You know, start small, and all that." Tou explain.
"Okay." He answers after a moment. "Right now?" He asks. You nod.
"I just.. don't know what to do. And I didn't shave- oh God okay no maybe some other day then-" you ramble, he laughs.
"Who cares if you shave?" He jokes easily. "Its fine by me. I don't mind it." He tells you.
"You're weird." You cringe a bit. "Guys don't like that-"
"Maybe you've just met idiots then." He shrugs. "I'm honest here. I don't care if you shave or not. You could dye that hair downstairs pink, who am I to tell you what your body has to look like?" He scoffs playfully, making you laugh a little.
This is why you like him. He's easy. Simple. Comfortable.
"Do you want me to use something? Or just my hand?" He wonders quietly, and you just shrug.
"I wanna.. you know. Know if I like what you do." You offer, and he hums an affirmative reply at that, hand under the covers feeling for your thigh.
"You can stop me at any time." He almost whispers. "It won't be awkward, I promise." He assures, and you nod, letting his palm explore under the covers. You're not sure if he's careful or just plain teasing- but most of all, it's strangely exciting.
He moves you a bit, pulls you closer, eyes searching for ant signs of discomfort. "Jungkook..?" You ask quietly, and he chuckles a bit before nodding. "..can you uhm.. maybe kiss me?" You wonder, and there's no reaction for a moment, until he moves again, adjusts himself so he can properly angle himself, lips meeting yours carefully so.
The first one feels weird. You're unsure. You lift your head in a moment if bravery to try again, and it gets more comfortable.
It's nice.
He seems amused, but not at you - more at the fact that you're a lot more independent than you might've thought you'd be in a situation like this.
You're leading him. You're probably not aware, but your body language and responses all speak clearly to him about what you enjoy and what you don't. At first, he stops any advances, but you whine for him to continue. "Just.. cold hands."
"Sorry." He chuckles. "My fingers are pretty cold sometimes." He jokes. You nod, breathing a bit heavier now as soon as his hands warm up, slowly traveling underneath your underwear, middle finger easily finding your most sensitive spot. "Feeling good?" He wonders, and you nod, squirming around a bit.
"More." You ask, moving around a little, seemingly unsure where to put your limbs. He's doing it very differently from how you'd do it- but it's nice. He's making you feel good, not just in lust, but also in general.
There really isn't anything weird about it.
Or maybe your brain is just a bit foggy.
You want to stop him suddenly, feeling too sensitive, and he does halter his movements to check in with you. "What's wrong?" He asks.
"Weird. Sensitive- I.. don't know." You say. "I feel like I'm gonna pee or something." You say.
"Have you ever had an orgasm before?" He wonders, and you suddenly think. Have you? You're not sure.
"I.. don't know." You say.
"Hm." He cocks his head to the side a little, amused look on his face. "Lets see then." He almost challenges, resuming his activities, making you squirm yet again as you feel like something might be happening. Your back arches, and suddenly, you're not sure why you can't help but gasp out, his movements perfectly stable as pleasure rolls over you in waves. "There we go." He laughs, watching as you slowly come back down.
"Thank you.." you say breathlessly, before cringing at the sight of his glistening hand. "Uhm.. do you want me to do something too.?"
"It's okay." He says. "I've enjoyed watching you. That's enough." Jungkook chuckles, before pulling back the covers. "No, clean up. I gotta wash my hand and change too." He laughs, slapping your thigh with his clean hand.
"Change?" You wonder, standing up and cringing at the slippery feeling between your legs.
"I told you." He laughs, and only now do you notice a wet spot on his sweatpants as he'd turned on the lights. "I really enjoyed myself as well."
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He's warm.
His arm lays heavy over your body, breathing soft and barely noticeable on the skin of your neck. Jungkook has slept close to you the entire night, didn't mind when you stole the blanket from him it seems. He's holding onto you, face clear of any worry, no muscle tensed as he sleeps.
He slowly seems to wake up, pulls you closer for a moment as he stretches his limbs and back, before his tired eyes open. "Hey." He greets with a raspy voice.
"Hey." You quietly greet back. He chuckles.
"How do you feel?" He wonders, pulling you closer with a sleepy grin.
"Good. Happy." You say.
"In love?" He wonders.
You nod.
And he smiles, brighter than the sun already high up in the sky outside your window.
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