#it's alright if I write from the fandoms that I've written before because I knew couple people I could always ask help | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anakin-pilled · 1 year ago

Text

SILVER SPRINGS (Lo'ak x Fem! Reader)

pairing: lo'ak x fem! reader

wordcount: 7.6k

warnings: angst, fandom cliches, amateur writing, bantering, unrequited love (?), complex family dynamics, A LOT OF CLICHES IM SORRY, bad pacing (my bad bro idk how to pace a story im new to this), not sure what else as this is pretty tame

rating: SFW! though my blog is 18+ because i interact with nsfw content, anyone can technically read this?

taglist: @teyamsatan

author's note: okay hi this is my first fanfic that i've ever written before? not counting fanfics i wrote in middle school anyway i got the idea for this fanfic after listening to silver springs by fleetwood mac and i was so obsessed with this idea that i had to make it come true? im a huge neteyam girly so this is a shocker that my first fic ever is about lo'ak (he's my babygirl, just not the LOML like neteyam). uhhh im only familiar with academic writing and this is my first time EVER dipping my toe into the waters of creative writing so pls bear with me if this is not perfect. i actually think this is quite flat and tbh i hate the pacing like its actually awful and there is so much room for improvement, but hey what can i do? IM A NEWBIE AT THIS!! with that being said, if you do decide to read, please treat me with some grace because i am sensitive and i did this purely for fun!!! i know my lo'ak stans are starving for fics and im here to deliver!!!! i am not a professional or seasoned writer by any means but i really tried my best to create something enjoyable ): i don't know why this ended up being so long but it did and there WILL be a part two, i already have it outlined. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, here is my first avatar fanfiction!!

proofread and edited but i got lazy toward the end LOL if you see any mistakes, please tell me kindly <3

You could be my silver spring

Blue-green colors flashin'

I would be your only dream

Your shinin' autumn ocean crashin'

The forest blended into a mixture of vibrant colors as you ran away from the incoming threat. Beautiful shades of blue, green, and purple passed around you. The feeling of the bare ground, soft and pliant from the morning dew, normally imbued you with a sense of stability and peace. As long as your feet were on the ground and connected to Ewya’s bountiful moon, you knew everything would be alright. However, this time, the feeling of the bare ground underneath your feet felt the opposite of stable and peaceful. The ground served as a reminder of how much longer you had to run until you reached the safe confines of the Omitikaya clan.

You stopped running with a quick halt. Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath. The beads in your hair clacked together in a cacophony as you looked around in different directions. The sun broke through the tree canopy and highlighted the forest like a kaleidoscope. Swish. You quickly turned your head to the other side to catch sight of what made the noise but all you could see was the rustling of the bush–as if whatever you were looking for was looking for you too before running off. Without a second to spare, you dashed in the direction of the village. But you only made it a few feet ahead of you before you were tackled by something heavy and shoved to the forest ground.

“I win.” said the voice from above in a triumphant, but annoying, manner.

“You got to be faster than that, ‘eylan.” As you shaded your eyes with your hand, you were met with the illuminating picture of Lo’ak on top of you. The sun shone above on Lo’ak and cast him in beautiful rays of light. He looked like an angel–like a celestial being sent straight from Ewya’s heart and into your eyesight. Though you have never seen an angel, Norm described them as ethereal and pure religious beings. And at this moment, Lo’ak was an angel.

“Get off me, fatass.” You said as you pushed Lo’ak weight off your body. You secretly loved the weight of his body on yours and how it radiated a warmth that hugged your body and soul. Lo’ak rolled off with ease and laid next to you on the foliage. “Hey! No need to insult me because you lost yet another round of hunter and prey.”

Hunter and prey. A game that all Omitcayan children played growing up. And though you and Lo’ak were no longer children, you continued to play this game. Lo’ak claims it’s a great way to burn energy and let loose. You suspected he liked playing so often because it allowed him to avoid whatever daily chores his father, the Olo’eyktan, assigned him. And while you could think of better ways to spend your time, you indulged in Lo’ak’s childish whims because it brought him happiness. What type of best friend would you be if you didn’t?

“I’m not insulting you because I lost. I could care less about losing,” You explained. “I’m insulting you because tackled me to the ground and put your entire weight on my body. Lay off the yovo fruit and I might insult you less.”

Lo’ak scoffed at your response and stuck his tongue out in a mocking manner. “You mean the yovo fruit that Spider and I specifically collected because you asked for it? Yeah, I got put on ikran pen duty for a week after that since we missed curfew.”

You simply rolled your eyes and aimed your middle finger at Lo’ak. Yeah, you definitely spent way too much time around Lo’ak.

You both basked in the sun and listened to the sound of the forest: your home, your comfort place, the lifeline of the People. You thanked Eywa every day for the forest and the way it provided for you endlessly–from the delicious yovo fruit, to the medicinal herbs, fauna, and everything in between. There was a gentle rustle in the air as it approached low afternoon. If closed your eyes and listened hard enough, you could hear the faint buzz of the insects and the leaves fluttering.

As you turned on your side to face Lo’ak, you noticed he still had his eyes shut. Your eyes raked over his stripes–the stripes that would forever be engrained in your brain–and focused on the armband that fits snugly on his upper arm. The weaved armband was made out of dried, violet stalks from the tstxa'a plant and braided into a traditional, intricate Omatikayan pattern. You added tiny clay beads that you hand-molded and painted a color very similar to a marigold–you captured copious amounts of juice from the banana fruit just to have enough pigment to create a dye. A small smile appeared on your face as you recall how long it took you to make the armband.

Your eyes slowly made their way toward his face. They widened as they realized Lo’ak’s eyes were open and staring at you too. The air was charged with tension as you both continued to stare at each other in silence.

You and Lo’ak always had this weird ability to communicate through eye contact alone. Your friendship, which was forged in childhood, ran so deep that words failed to represent what your eyes could. He was your other half as much as you were his. In these small moments of intimacy, you remember just how much you love Lo’ak. There was an unspoken bond between you two–a bond that went beyond friendship and teetered on the edge of romantic love. And while it was undeniable that there was something more happening between the two of you, your relationship stayed on that flimsy edge.

“What are you thinking about,” you whispered in a tone so soft that it reached Lo’ak ears like a tender caress.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking,” Lo’ak replied with a teasing lilt in his voice and a glitter in his amber eyes. While everyone in the Omatikaya clan had the same shades of bright, yellow eyes, you thought Lo’ak had the prettiest. You raised the muscle on your face, where your eyebrows would have been if you had, and furrowed your forehead in suspicious knowing.

“Thinki-” “I’m thinking about how funny it would be if I beat your ass in another round of hunter and prey! Last one to the village has to take over foraging duty!,” Lo’ak shouted with a boyish smile as he got up quickly and ran in the direction of his kelku.

You got up from the lush grass and ran after him with another exacerbated breath.

The day drawled along as you patrolled the forest for the dandetiger tree. You looked for its long, azure leaves and armored trunk. As a healer in training, you were tasked by Mo’at to look for the tree for samples of the resin-like substance that it leaked. The sticky substance was extremely helpful to the Omatikaya clan in many ways as it behaved like an adhesive. It was especially important to healers as they used the dangetiger tree as part of treating wounds and ensuring bandages stuck and protected healing wounds. The healing hut ran low on its supply, thus you found yourself wandering through the forest. Kiri offered to accompany you, but you could tell she rather focus on perfecting the paste she was mixing. A major perk of being best friends with Lo’ak is that you also became close with his family and found a small niche within the Sully family.

You were an extension of Lo’ak, but also the opposite of him in some ways. Whereas Lo’ak was more energetic and impulsive, you were calmer and sensical. You both balanced each other perfectly; you were the yin to his yang. While Lo’ak’s nature often got him in trouble with his family, namely his father and older brother, you loved his high energy and zest for life. Sure, he could use more pragmatism in his daily thinking, but you saw Lo’ak’s personality as a blessing more than a hindrance, especially in times of war and destruction. If Lo’ak was your sun, then you were his moon–stable and outer-worldly. You were unwavering. Your nurturing nature and kind soul always amazed Lo’ak, even in the worse of times, you took it upon yourself to think and act as an optimist. You carried yourself with a sense of dignity that Lo’ak wishes he could replicate.

Though none of you ever admitted it out loud, you and Lo’ak knew that you loved each other in a way that best friends didn’t.

Despite your differences, you both had a passion for exploring and adventure. If Lo’ak went anywhere, you followed. And if he got in any trouble, you were only a few steps behind him. While Lo’ak intention for mischief was partially caused by the motivation to piss off his father, you believed that Eywa made Pandora for the purpose of exploring. Why would she make Pandora so magnificent and rich in life if not to experience every single crevice, nook, and cranny of it? While the forest would always be your home and the place you want to spend the rest of your life in, you could not deny the appeal of a nomadic lifestyle like the Olangi clan. However, with the return of the sky people on Pandora, your exploring had been cut to a short. Unable to venture into the unknown parts of the forest, the parts that resulted in a scolding or two from both your mom and Mr. Sully, you were forced to stay within the clan’s boundary lines.

Your thoughts were cut short as your heard movement in the background. The bag on your shoulder was discarded to the ground as you took out your bow and arrow. You were no warrior, but you begged Lo’ak to teach you enough to be able to defend yourself. Any Na’vi should know this little. You prayed to Eywa that it wasn’t a palulukan, or worse—a sky demon. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of your face as you aimed your bow in the direction of where you heard the noise. You aimed at the bushes before letting your final finger release the bow.

“Relax, syulang! It’s just me, Lo’ak!,” he said as he came out from the bushes of loreyu and walked to where you were standing. “Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

“Lo’ak,” you huffed with annoyance in your voice. “Don’t scare me like that, you skxawng! I was really focused on finding a dandetiger tree. Tsahik’s orders. What are you even doing here? I thought you were training with your father.”

As Lo’ak walked closer to you, you noticed the downturn expression on his face. Your immediate heart softened. He must have had another fight with his father, you thought to yourself. Lo’ak turned his face toward yours and you saw the unshed tears in his eyes that threatened to fall any second now.

“I, uh, I was training with my father until we got into a fight and I stormed off,” he said with a shaky breath. You could tell Lo’ak was trying to keep his composure, not wanting to show that vulnerable side he desperately tries to hide away. Yet, you knew better than that. Every time Lo’ak tried to shut down and hide his emotions, you came running after him and knocked down the fragile walls he built around himself. The walls were fragile because Lo’ak knew he would and could never shut you out completely. He took a deep, shaky breath before continuing, “I’m just so sick of it. He expects me to be this perfect son and soldier all in one, but I’m not Neteyam. I’m just Lo’ak.”

You always thought Lo’ak was the most complex person you ever met. He was the second-born son of the revered Toruk Makto and mighty Palulukun Makto. But, Lo’ak was so much more than that to you. He was more than both of his parents. Though he would never admit it, Lo’ak was a lost soul. Not quite like Neteyam, the mighty warrior and dutiful son, or the spiritual Kiri who was literally like Ewya’s disciple. Hell, even everyone knew Tuk would grow into a fine, strong-spirited woman! Lo’ak didn't know where he fit in his family. Of course, the Sully family loved him, and Lo’ak loved his family just as much. But that still didn’t stop the gnawing, deep feeling in Lo’ak’s subconscious from telling him that he would never amount to greatness like the rest of his family. You wished Lo’ak wouldn’t be so hard on himself because you also had a deep feeling in your subconscious that Lo’ak was destined for greatness–the feeling was embedded so deep in your bones that you would bet your left on it.

“I know that I’m a fuck up.”

“You’re no-”

“It’s okay, syulang. I know I’m a fuck up. I can see it in the tribes’ faces every time they hear my father lecture me, or worse, hear Neteyam lecture me. I can see it in my fathers’ eyes and in the way the rest of my family pities me.”

“Your family doesn’t pity you, Lo’ak. If anything, they pity the way your father has been forced into this weird dichotomy of the punisher and protector ever since the sky demons returned and how it’s taken an effect on your relationship,” you tried to explain as sweetly as possible.

You took a step closer to Lo’ak and examined his face. Though his tears had dried and his eyes were now puffy, you could still tell there was a great sadness within him. You wished you could take all his pain and suffering so he didn’t have to.

“I don’t know who I am besides the fuck up, or the troublemaker. I feel like my entire existence is defined by all the things I am not. Defined by the way I’m different from Neteyam or Kiri. I want to be defined by who I am, but I don’t even know who that is most of the time,” said Lo’ak. “I try so hard, but it is never enough to satisfy my father. Or myself. I feel this heavy pressure in my chest and no matter what I do to relieve it, it stays. If I am not meant to be the next Olo’eyktan or the next Tsahik, then who am I meant to be? Sure–I am training to become a warrior, but I’m not sure if this is something I want or if it is a role I am forced into. I know I’m impulsive and reckless and irresponsible, but I try so hard, but what if that isn’t enough to look over all my flaws and mistakes?”

You moved even closer and tucked one of Lo’ak’s front braids behind his ear. You always loved his hair like this. It suited his face so well. His braids were adorned by various beads, each with its own significance and memory attached to them. The beads he wore today were a pretty amethyst color. Your mind quickly flashbacked to the day you both created the matching beads. You both swam all day in one of the forest’s ponds trying to find the purple stones underwater so you could both craft new beads. Lo’ak almost passed out from lack of air twice and your hair was so tangled by the end of the day that it took your mother three hours to undo the gnarly knots. It was totally worth it, however, because you gained new accessories and memories to match. But before you could let yourself get too far away in the past, you shifted your attention towards Lo’ak and began to speak.

“I see you, Lo’ak. I see all of you. I know that you feel like a lost soul and that you get too caught up in comparing yourself to the rest of your family. And I truly wished you didn’t compare yourself to others so much because you are so special.” Lo’ak’s face grew warm at your words. Before he could respond, you interrupted him and continued to talk. “You feel like you are too different from your family and think you do not fit in, but you do! You are the light of your family; you bring laughter and happiness. The Sully dynamic would not be the same without you–it would be too serious and no one would have fun! Lo’ak, you have a strong heart like your father. Even though you could use some impulse control, I know you never have ill intentions. We are still so young and have so much more maturing to do. Do not let yourself be defined by the mistakes of your past. Mistakes are bound to happen–they are as natural as birth and death. You’re the light of my life too. Without you, there is no one else in this clan that could make me smile as much as you do. No one to explore with and quench our thirst for curiosity. You say that you are impulsive, but there is too much excitement in your body to contain it. I love seeing your excitement and wander–it is a reminder of Pandora’s goodness and the way Eywa intended us to live. You are not irresponsible, you are just learning along the way like we all are. There is no one like you, and my heart is torn because you do not see yourself in the same way. I pray to Eywa that you could see yourself through my eyes.” You then placed one hand on Lo’ak’s chest, right above his heart.

“Nga yawne lu oer, Lo’ak.” There was no going back now. You said it–the words that would either be fatal to your soul or make your heart sore higher than the Hallejuah Mountains. And though there was a risk of Lo’ak rejecting you completely, you jumped off the fragile cliff that your friendship lived on. All the intimate moments, the knowing smiles, and the lifetime of shared memories led you to this moment.

A moment of silent pass as you waited for Lo’ak’s response to your confession. Lo'ak did not expect you to confess, but he knew at some point it was bound to happen. Just not right now, under these cruel circumstances, in a time of devastation.

You shouldn’t have confessed. Lo’ak wasn’t ready for it.

The look in your eyes was so sincere and so full of unconditional love. You are the only person who could truly see Lo’ak for everything that he is and everything he was meant to become. The light hit your eyes in the right way and Lo’ak could swear they were glittering. Ewya blessed her with both heart and beauty, he said in his head. Lo’ak could only stare as he still reeled from your heartfelt speech. He wasn’t an idiot—Lo’ak knew that there was a special chemistry between him and his best friend. And he also knew that it was the type of chemistry that only two people in love have. Lo’ak has known ever since he was a small child that you were his endgame. Your years spent together only solidified his hypothesis.

Life on Pandora could be unforgiving and unrelenting, but you were the complete opposite. You were forgiving, always ready to accept Lo’ak back into your arms and heart after every mistake he made. Though these mistakes were rarely made towards you, you still welcomed him every time. You were always there for him. But, Lo’ak didn’t fall in love with you because of the fact you were always there for him. It did play a big part, but Lo’ak knew that would be a selfish reason for falling in love. Instead, Lo’ak fell in love with you because you were…well, you. You were kind and always treated your fellow clan members with the utmost consideration and respect. You were perceptive, never wanting to misconstrue a situation and analyzing all nuances before speaking on something. Because of this, everything you said or did was genuine. Lo’ak loved this the most about you. Where Lo’ak felt everyone in the clan (excluding his family and Spider) give him fake niceties, you were 100% authentic towards him. You never condescendingly spoke to him or treated him like a chore that had to be put up with. Compassion and understanding were what you treated Lo’ak with. These are all things he rarely experienced with other Na’vi. Yet, you also weren’t afraid to call out Lo’ak on his bullshit and humble him. You somehow balanced outspokenness and tenderness all at once. This lit a fire in Lo’ak soul.

This thought both excited and scared him. The thought of loving someone unconditionally, and being loved unconditionally, seemed like something too good to be true. Only something reserved for people who deserved it. Lo’ak knew you deserved unconditional love, but it couldn’t be with him. Despite everything you said about him and the way it almost glued together his broken self-esteem, Lo’ak could not return your confession in good consciousness. It’s not that Lo’ak didn't love you–hell, he loves you more than anyone or anything on this moon! But, his insecurities would not allow you to love him or allow him to love you. He didn’t deserve to love or be loved, not when his insecurities kept up awake at night, taunting his brain with “You’ll never be good enough” or “You’re a failure of a son and brother.” You deserved better than Lo’ak and all of his broken parts. You needed someone who was the best–someone like Neteyam, but not Neteyam himself because that would be the final nail in Lo’ak’s coffin. Lo’ak knows his recklessness, impulsivity, and natural gravitation toward the unknown was acceptable because he is young. These may be the traits you love about Lo’ak now, but he knows very well these are the same traits that can make you fall out of love with him too. After all, you won’t be young forever and it won’t be cute forever. But what if he never grows out of this? What if this is who he is meant to be? No, Lo’ak would not subject you to this fate.

And so, for once in his life, Lo’ak let fear take over his decision. Your face morphed into an expression of shock and confusion before settling on a still face.

“I am sorry, syulang. I can’t do this right now.”

You watched Lo’ak retreat from the spot you both stood in. What the fuck just happened?

You spent the next few days in a strange haze as you processed what happened between you and Lo’ak. At first, you were angry. How could Lo’ak just leave you hanging like that? For Ewya’s sake, he could have said anything else and it would have been a better response than what he said. You laid your fucking heart out on your sleeve, waiting for Lo’ak to take it and claim it forever. After your initial response to the situation, you started to worry. Maybe you misinterpreted your relationship. What if Lo’ak didn’t love you and you just thought he did because of how close you were? No, that didn’t sound right. You knew Lo’ak loved you too. Not even in a delusional way to comfort yourself, but there was no denying you both loved each other. Did you just confess at the wrong time? Perhaps it would have been better if you confessed when Lo’ak wasn’t fighting with his father. But, you didn’t even mean to confess! Well, you did mean to confess but not at that exact moment. You were trying to comfort Lo’ak and reassure him that he was wrong, that someone could love him. It just seemed like the right thing to say. What if it wasn’t? What if it overwhelmed Lo’ak and pushed him away? Now you felt like the jerk for confessing at such a moment. But Lo’ak was a jerk too for just leaving you! You really wished you could talk to him, or that he would talk to you, but the timing was horrible. The war party went out a few days ago, and it was Lo’ak’s first time joining the mission. But of course, things never go as planned. Over-enthusiasm from Lo’ak’s and an injured Neteyam caused Mr. Sully to put Lo’ak on lockdown for the last few days. This was the first day Lo’ak was allowed some freedom to explore, that’s what Kiri told you before she left with her brother, Spider, and Tuk. You wanted to join them in their adventure today, but you were still reeling from your last conversation with Lo’ak and decided it would be better to stay in the village. You needed one more day to unscramble your thoughts before approaching him.

The tension between you and Lo’ak had been festering, but it quickly came to a stop once you saw him walk back into the village with his entire family. Jake and Neytiri walked walk in front of their children with heavy looks on their faces. Jake looked angry, yet worn at the same time. His mouth was pressed in a tight line and the wrinkles in his forehead looked more apparent than they ever have before. Neytiri walked beside Jake with Tuk’s hand in hers in a tight grasp, as if she never wanted to let her baby go ever again. Her expression was harder to read, but you could tell the tsakarem was worried by her stiff posture. Kiri trailed behind her parents with a slouchy form and arms across her torso. She looks dejected. And finally in the back were Neteyam and Lo’ak. Spider was nowhere to be seen, which you found odd as he went with the rest of the Sully children into the forest, but you assumed he must have gone back to the human outpost before curfew.

I wonder what happened. Something must have happened if the entire family walked in like that.

Jake and Neytiri quickly made their way to their kelku and closed the opening flaps before any of their children could come in. The Sully children then made their way toward the side of their kelku and leaned forward on their hands as they attempted to listen to their parent's conversation. You wanted to make your way towards them and figure out what the hell happened. Just as you were about to walk over to them, Lo’ak turned around and his eyes scanned the village as if he were looking for something or someone. Lo’ak’s eyes then met yours and with a small nod, you understood what he was trying to say. Later. At our spot.

Your stomach turned to bubbles as a feeling of cold anxiety washed over your body. You weren’t sure if it was because of Lo’ak or something else, but you knew whatever it was, it was not good.

Lo’ak was already sitting on the bioluminescent forest floor when you arrived at the small clearing which was designated as our spot. It was a hidden clearing–away from any of the main trails and hunting and gathering spots that the clan used. You first found the clearing one day after playing a round of hunter and prey with Lo’ak and Spider.

Flashback

You were both 12 years old. Your hair was cut in a sharp, shoulder-length bob because you claimed long hair only got in the way. A bright orange and yellow ombre feather decorated the underside of your hair. A simple beige-toned weaved top and matching ‘tewng adorned your small body as you ran away from Lo’ak. He loved playing the role of hunter–you assumed it because of the way Lo’ak looked up to his father. He wanted to be like the Olo’eyktan in every way possible. This was before their relationship had a strain in it. Both you and Lo’ak were unmarred from the harshness of war. The only thought that filled both of your minds was what adventure you would get into next.

As you giggled profusely and thought of where to run next, you noticed that you were in a different part of the forest that you never visited before. You searched for any familiar landmarks, or plants that would signify where you were. The giggles that previously escaped your mouth quieted down as the situation dawned on you. You were lost in the forest all alone! Your mom was going to kill you, but only if a nantang or palulukun didn’t kill you first.

“Lo’ak, are you there!!!!!,” you screamed at the top of your lungs. That probably wasn’t the smartest move. A predator could be attracted to your sound. But you figured it would be better to call for Lo’ak. If any predators came, you could climb a tree and wait it out.

“Lo’ak!!!” you continued. Worry was starting to creep in. If you didn’t find Lo’ak soon, there was no way you would be able to survive the night in the forest.

As you looked around the clearing again, you noted that it was quite pretty. A small pond, decorated with pink paysyuls, sat in the middle of the forest. The sun streamed through the trees and you could see the fishes elegantly swim in the water. A pack of loreyu sat directly across the pond, along with eanean bushes right next to it. The clearing was simple, but you knew that it was much more than that. Like everything else Eywa created, the clearing served a purpose and was spiritually connected to the Na’vi. Perhaps its purpose was unknown until this moment. You decided that the purpose of the clearing would be a secret spot only known to both you and Lo’ak. The thought excited you, and you quickly imagined a lifetime of moments here.

Flashback Over

Lo’ak sat with his arms extended behind him with his back facing you. You could see the tension in his back muscle as he sat there, looking up towards the night sky. One of Polyphemus’ moons was shaped like an ikran claw. Despite the moon’s brightness in the sky, the stars still twinkled. A soft, minty green glow emitted from the bioluminescent leaves Lo’ak sat upon. His tanhi, patterned perfectly on his body like Ewya directly hand placed each freckle herself, glowed like the sky above him. Lo’ak was lost in his thoughts as he silently spoke to Ewya, questioning what her intention was. You cleared your throat to grab Lo’ak’s attention.

“Hey…” he muttered under his breath. You replied with a soft hello before taking your place next to him. There was still an awkward tension lingering between the two of you, but you pushed it away. Whatever happened a few days ago didn’t matter anymore. You knew something serious happened in the Sully family and you knew your best friend needed you right now.

“Do you want to tell me what happened this time?” you quoted Lo’ak as you looked into his eyes for the first time in a few days. The dark lighting only enhanced the rich shade of his honey-colored eyes. They glowed brightly in the dark. His eyes resembled the shiny topaz glass jewels located deep in the rainforests’ many caverns–both were a sight to behold.

Lo’ak thought he should rip the bandage off. There was no point in delaying the traumatic news he just received from his parents.

“My family and I are leaving the forest.”

You were confused by his statement. Leaving where? There was no other place to go. The forest was your home, his home. “Do you mean that you’re visiting another tribe for diplomatic reasons,” you asked with a slight tilt in your head to match confusion. Why would this be so important that he needed to meet you at your spot? This wouldn’t be the first time the Sully family has left on diplomatic retreats.

“No, (Y/N). My family and I are leaving the forest permanently,” Lo’ak replied. Your heart dropped into the pits of your stomach. Now you were just getting annoyed. You haven’t spoken to Lo’ak in the days, and the first thing he does is try to pull at your leg. “Lo’ak if this is a joke, then it’s not funny. What are you talking about?” you said with a stern voice. Lo’ak stared at you as if he didn’t want to explain further. It’s true, he didn’t want to explain further because it meant that what was happening was real and there was no way to delay or stop the situation.

“Earlier today, when we were exploring the forest, we saw footprints in the dirt that didn’t belong to any Na’vi. It was sky demons. We followed the footsteps to an abandoned shack. I knew we weren’t supposed to be there, but then we spotted a group of uniltìranyu in military gear. I quickly paged my father and let him know what we found. But as we were trying to leave back to the forest, the uniltìranyu captured us and held us hostage…”

“What?” you let out in shock. The magnitude of Lo’ak’s words hit you like a poisoned arrow. Dreamwalkers? How could that be true? The last dream walker to walk the ground of Pandora was Jake Sully…and that was 14 years ago.

“I-I thought we were going to die. They treated us like we were animals. As if we were the ones who invaded their planet and deserved to be captured and hung. All I felt was primal fear and the instinctual reaction to protect my family. We were held hostage until my parents and brother came to our rescue. But, it was too late by then. They figured out who were and our relation to my father. They even captured Spider…” Lo’ak had to stop speaking. The familiar tightening of his throat began. You could tell he was about to cry, but you pushed further. Honestly, your brain was fuzzy at this point. It was so fuzzy to the point that you didn’t even process the news of Spider, your tiny human friend, being captured. It completely slipped your mind. You didn’t have time to think about the implications of this news as you could only process one thing and one thing only: Lo’ak was leaving. The Sullys were leaving!

“What does that have to do with you leaving the forest?”

“Don’t you understand, syulang? They know who we are. Our lives are at risk! The whole clan is at risk if we continue to stay.” Lo’ak explained in frustration. “I don’t want this, I don’t want to leave the only place I’ve ever known. How can I leave the forest while Spider is out there, going through Eywa knows what, with those demons? How can I leave you?” Fat, wet tears streamed down Lo’ak’s face as he spoke.

Crack. The sound of your heart breaking reverberated in your ears. All you could hear was a dull ringing. Your best friend, the love of your life–how could he just leave like that? You questioned the will of Eywa. How could she be so cruel to tear you both apart? Especially after your confession the other day? You wanted to curse and scream and cry all at once. However, you knew you had to be strong for Lo’ak.

You held Lo’ak’s body in silence. You were both in a catatonic state. An hour or so had passed since his initial confession. The atmosphere was serene, a heavy contrast from the dark storm brewing in both of your minds. This may be the last time you would ever get to hold Lo’ak like this and fully enjoy his presence. All of the years spent together slowly meshed in your mind as you tried to calm yourself down with memories of happier times. You honestly didn’t know how you could survive this life without your other half.

Lo’ak wasn’t faring any better than you. His continuous sniffles vibrated on your body. He barely looked up, wanting to savor the feeling of your bodies pressed together in such an intimate way. His mind was in a haze as he processed the situation. This wasn’t real life, it couldn’t be real life. His life was perfectly balanced with you. If Eywa sought to protect the balance of life, why would she take you away from him? Why would she take away Spider?

Tomorrow is never promised. That is a cruel lesson you learned today. It was probably best that you and Lo’ak head back to the village and sleep, but you didn’t want this night to end. You wanted to savor every last moment. Memorize every stripe on Lo’ak’s body, every green speck in his eyes, the way his eyebrows moved, and how his body felt right next to yours. How could you say goodbye to 14 years of memories in one night? It seemed impossible.

As you stared at the light reflecting off the pond, you knew there was one topic you had to broach. You weren’t sure if this was the right time, but it was the only chance you had. After all, Lo’ak only had one more day in the clan before his family set off to Eywa knows where. You knew the forest of Pandora held many clans, but you suspected his family would be going somewhere even further than that. You tried to calm the rapid pace of your heart, but your nerves refused to settle down. So, you sent a quick prayer to Ewya, turned to Lo’ak, and quietly said, “The other night, when I said I love you, why didn’t you say it back?”

You didn’t want to fight with Lo’ak–not on a night like this, where blood has been shed and a family has been torn from normalcy. But, you had to talk to Lo’ak about this. What if you never saw him again? You couldn’t live the rest of your life with unresolved feelings. It would drive you utterly insane and wreck your soul for as long as you live.

(Y/N)...”

“I’m being serious, Lo’ak. Why did not you say it back? I know this is the last thing on your mind right now, but you cannot leave me hanging. You owe me more than that and you know it,” you said with determination in your voice.

You then stood up. This was not a conversation you could have sitting down. The anxiety coursing through your veins made it impossible to sit still. Lo’ak followed your actions and stood up too.

“I was afraid,” he replied.

“Afraid of what Lo’ak? We have always been so honest with each other.” You thought you would always understand Lo’ak, but perhaps you were mistaken. You didn’t understand what there was to be afraid of. You both loved each other, shouldn’t that be enough? You failed to realize that love isn’t enough sometimes. There are forces beyond your control that make love unsustainable and out of your reach, despite how close you are to it. Eywa did not teach you this lesson. Lo’ak did.

Lo’ak was faced with two choices at this moment: he could confess his love to you or he could deny it. He so desperately wished he could choose the first choice. Something within him would not allow himself to whether it was because he was about to leave and he could not promise himself to you, or because he was so far deep in his inner turmoil. Lo’ak felt anger bubbling in his chest. This anger wasn’t directed towards you, but himself. He cursed his inability to allow himself to fully love you because of his internal issues. No, he justified the second choice in his mind with weak reasons as to why he could not confess his love.

If he said confessed, Lo’ak knew you would spend the rest of your days waiting for his return. If he ever returned. You deserved more than that. You deserved someone who could love you now. The prospect of you waiting for him, only for Lo’ak to stay the same Na’vi he was now, a version of himself that wasn’t proud of, haunted him. Yeah. Lo’ak framed his reasoning to focus on you, rather than himself because it made the harsh reality less painful. Damn the fact he was leaving, he would wait 100 years for you too if he confessed. The reality was Lo’ak could not confess his love because he couldn’t give his all to you, not when his judgment and self-worth were clouded by thoughts so dark that Eywa would be heartbroken to learn one of her children, whom she created with love and adoration, did not love himself.

Either way, he was about to break your heart for the second time within days.

“You are the other half of my soul and if there is any person who can understand me, it is you. But, I cannot love you. I’m sorry syulang.” There was a sorrowful look across Lo’ak’s face. Your body deflated at his words and the familiar sting of tears gathered in your eyes. He didn’t want to continue, but if was going to break your heart, you at least deserved a proper explanation.

“You are the most lovely and wonderful woman on this planet; the idea of you not being in my life hurts more than a palulukan attack. But I swear on my life to Eywa when I say this, but it is not you. It’s me. You have always been this positive being in my life, and I always hoped it would rub off on me and make me a better man. I thought, maybe if that ever happened, we could be together in the future. I would finally be worthy of all the love you have to offer. I am not good enough for you. I would only drag you down with the weight of my heavy problems,” Lo’ak finished.

“But it’s not your choice to decide who deserves me,” you let out with an exasperated tone. “How can you stand here in front of me and deny the bond we have? The love we have? The other day when I confessed that I see you and you ignored it, I brushed it off my shoulder because I was sure, with every fiber of my being, that you see me too. That you love me. But now you are leaving, and Eywa knows when the fuck you are coming back, and you can't even admit it out loud?” you questioned.

“Don’t you get it? I am not doing this because I want to deny the bond we have. I feel our bond every day from the time I wake up to the time I go to sleep. Even in my dreams, you are there. Your essence is built into the foundation of my bones. I just can’t love you. No good would come of it. I’m the clan’s outcast. Yes, we are best friends and we know each other like the back of our palms. But I won't let you carry the burden of my imperfectness,” Lo’ak choked with a sob at the end.

Without missing a beat, you tirade, “I think everything you are saying is complete bullshit. How could be absolute about something that has not been realized? We have spent the last 14 years together. I know you better than I know myself, Lo’ak. And I know you see me too, so what are you so afraid of? There is nothing that you could ever do that would scare me away from loving you. I love you for who you are–flaws and all. I notice everything about you, the good and the bad. I know you have feelings so big and nerve-wracking that you do not know how to handle them except by convincing yourself that they are true. But you cannot stand in my face and claim that this is for my own good. No, you are saying all this because you are too scared of the possibility that I might see through all that and decide that you are not worth the trouble, that every judgment the clan and your father says about you is right.”

You stepped a few feet away from Lo’ak and then turned towards the direction of the village. He hadn’t said a word since you finished your speech. Your entire back was facing Lo’ak until you turned your head over your shoulder to look back at him. The tears that pooled in your eyes began to flow like a sad waterfall that was dying, the tears slowly rolling down your stripped cheeks in an antagonizing matter. Your golden eyes stared into Lo’ak’s. He could see the hurt etched across your iris and he was sure his eyes looked just as pathetic and broken. It was a moment that would forever be engrained into Lo’ak’s memory. You opened your mouth and delivered the final blow to this already crestfallen night,

“Maybe I was wrong, maybe you don’t see me. Because if you truly did, you would know that I would not care about your weaknesses. I don’t even care about them now. I refuse to believe that you cannot love me too. You are a lot of things Lo’ak. A coward is not one of them. I’ll see you tomorrow to say goodbye.”

And at this moment, Lo’ak knew this was the biggest of all his fuck ups. He had managed to ruin a lot of good things and moments. Never knowing when the party is over and when the business began. When it came to you, his sweet tìyawn, Lo’ak never made any serious mistakes. So why was he doing it now? Lo’ak’s eyes burned as he stared at your figure walking away from him and the future you could’ve had together.

translations: eylan - friend, Olo’eyktan - male clan leader, tstxa'a - canalyd, kelku - home, palulukan - thanator, syulang - flower, loreyu - helocordian, skxawng - moron, Toruk Makto - toruk rider, Palulukun Makto - thanator rider, Tsahik - clan spiritual leader, Nga yawne lu oer - i love you, tsakarem - successor to the tsahik, ‘tewng - loincloth, nantang - viperwolf, paysyuls - water lily, eanean - blue plant, tanhi - bioluminescent freckle, uniltìranyu - dream walker, tìyawn - love

credits for dividers: leafs (x) green line (x)

172 notes · View notes

this-loser · 11 months ago

Text

Silent Prayer

─────────────────────────✩★✩─────────────────────────

Author's Notes: So, I actually haven't written in a while and for those who liked my previous stories I apologize. I deleted them from the account and forgot that I didn't have them saved so they are gone forever. Recently I have been hard on myself about that plus my writing. I ended up going inactive and recently going into the DC fandom, especially because of my love for Jason Todd, I got back into writing again. This is the first time I've written for Jason, bunch of scrapped ideas before this, so if it feels out of character I must apologize. Anyway, enough of my talking. Please enjoy!

────────────────────

「WC: 863」

「Summary: He's unable to sleep but maybe a little music will coax him into sleeping」

「Warnings: I don't use Y/N, This might be a little sad tbh, Nothing explicit just wholesome fluff, This is shorter than I originally thought it would be but I'm okay with this」

────────────────────

「Song name: "In Dreams" by Roy Orbison. In case you'd like to listen to it while reading look it up on either YouTube or Spotify.」

───────────────

It was never silent. Not in Gotham City. From the police sirens to the neighbors or the people outside the apartment building going on about their lives. No one pays any mind, depending on where you're looking, to the fact that this place was one of the biggest shitholes. No one could tell Jason otherwise.

He'd lived on the streets. Did things that he shouldn't have done, but he needed to survive and witnessed firsthand how god-awful the people in the city can be. All of that had been seen through the eyes of a child.

Was he proud of his past? Depends, but for the most part, no.

Reflecting doesn't help.

He knew that. It only made things come back, and the emotions left him sour. Especially when the original point was to sleep, something he was having trouble doing. Again.

Jason sat up, the blanket pooling at his hips as he ran a hand through his hair. The sound of a vehicle honking caused him to lift his head, looking at the window blinds. A few seconds pass by before he relaxes.

"Hmm..." The softness of your voice drew his attention, along with the blanket moving as you turned over onto your left side. "Jason," "Go back to sleep, baby." He crooned, stopping you from continuing your sentence and then leaning down to you, his hand pushing some of your hair out of your face as your eyes fluttered open. "Shh, just go back to bed. Everything is alright."

He was bullshitting, but not to worry you. Jason knew that you'd be up without another second if you knew his insomnia was bothering him again. "Just sleep." His hand gently cupped your cheek as he kept whispering coaxing words to ease you back into sleep, blissfully unaware of his suffering.

"Jay," Through tired eyes, you look at him. The darkness hides his face; however, you can make out the look he gave you. A soft reassurance that would have fooled anyone if they didn't know him well enough. That is, if they ever broke past that permanent scowl he always had. The look alone drew a huff from you. "Liar." He froze, the look quickly morphing into a disappointed frown. "Please, sleep. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." He brought forth a weak smile, his hand caressing your cheek. "Trust me, you need more sleep than I do, I'll be alright." "Jason..." He shook his head, stubbornness kicking in as he leaned closer, pressed his lips against your temple, then pulled away. "You're gonna go back to bed. No arguing about it." You whined at his stubbornness, and although that made him chuckle, he didn't let up.

You pulled a hand from under the blanket, lifting it and grabbing his arm. "No. I'm not giving up that easily, Jason." He bit back a groan at your stubbornness, internally kicking himself for hoping that you'd actually give in to his demand. You sat up slowly and let go of his arm as you reached over the end table on your side, grabbing your phone.

It was still early morning, and Jason clearly wasn't having a good night. "Jay, it's 4:37 A.M." He groans at the observation and leans back against the headboard. "I know, Genius..." He grumbles, looking away from you. "You're welcome." You mumble, now going through your phone. A few seconds of silence go by before the room is filled with soft music from your phone.

"I softly say, a silent prayer like dreamers do,"

He glances at you, the song playing as you set your phone back onto the end table. "Music?" You nod, looking at Jason. "Why not? Might help you sleep." "Not really my type of music." "Too bad. You've got to deal with it since it's my choice." You lay back down, moving over to him and throwing an arm over his hips, burying your face into the side of his thigh. "Who's the artist?" "Roy Orbison." He nods his head slowly, the name not sounding familiar to him. "Melancholy as hell, though." He added, looking down at you and resting his hand on your head. "Mm." Your eyes flutter closed, the soft tempo of the song starting to lull you back to sleep.

"In dreams, you're mine all of the time,"

He leans his head back. Taking in the lyrics and how melancholy they are. "Actually, they are kinda peaceful." He whispers, his fingers running through your hair. "Except for the "Candy-colored clown" bit... That part doesn't sound all peaceful to me." A light scoff comes from Jason as he stares at the bedroom door and feels his eyelids become heavier as the song continues to play.

"In beautiful dreams"

He blinks a few times as a wave of sleepiness crashes over him, but he pulls himself back and gently pulls your arm from his hips. You make a noise of protest as he lays down, pulling you into his arms once he's lying on his right side. You sigh in contentment, relaxing again and peacefully resting as Jason's eyelids close. The melody of the song coaxes him into a dreamless sleep.

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x you #jason todd #A late night idea and I love oldies #dc comics #dc fanfic #dc

56 notes · View notes

discodeviant · 2 years ago

Note

Also! 19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Alright buckle up cuz this is a long one—

Weird Questions for Writers

I've been storytelling since I could talk. My family traveled a lot as a kid, and whenever we stayed at hotels (before I knew how to write), I would get my grandma to write down what I told her with the little hotel pen pads. We still have one somewhere about a lion in the desert from when I was maybe 2? So stuff like that kept up, and when I could write I kept going that way.

Fourth grade was when I started taking it seriously when we had creative writing for a trimester, and I wrote some story about a high school bully that got me really excited about the idea of writing for real. Fifth grade I got really into poetry, sixth grade I discovered fandom writing and fic and all that which kicked me into HIIIIIGH fuckin gear.

Oddly the worse bump in my life was a time I was writing the most, and then the least, and bc of mental health stuff I used to have super long lapses in writing where I wouldn't write for a year and then start up again. But I've always loved it; I feel as though, intrinsically, I am a writer because it's what I love to do more than anything.

Last few years I've been a one-shot writer mostly but always always always have much longer and more elaborate ideas. Got into screenwriting around the time Covid hit and realized that's really where my heart is, which also comes from previous acting experience and falling out of it because I never liked being in front of the camera.

So, right now, obviously I'm still mostly a one-shot writer but have written longer works and am still working on it, and when I write I think of it like a movie anyway, so knocking two birds out with one stone :P My dream is to write and direct for ✨ the big screen ✨ so I'll be working towards that in the long term!

TLDR, writing is and always has been a natural development in my life, it's not something I sat down one day and decided I was gonna try. Very happy writing fanfic and aim to write movies in the future :)

#.discomail #ask game

1 note · View note

lisbeth-kk · 1 month ago

Text

Fic writer meme

Thanks so much for tagging me @raina-at

How many works do you have on ao3?

122 apparently! I guess I've been quite busy, considering I only started posting in the middle of August 2022...

What's your total word count?

389,687 words

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Darts of Revulsion - Hope is Sweet - A Feverish Need - All the Different Fragments - Enough!

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Always. Comments are so treasured. Knowing that people who read my fics take the time to comment, is such a privilege. I love to hear what they have to say, which quite often sheds light on what I write as well.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Yeah, see, I don't do that. Happy ending is my middle name. That said, I've written a spooky story that might fit into the category. Sort of. Graced by Death

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

This is almost impossible, but one of the fics with a very happy ending is My Heart is Yours

Do you write crossovers?

I don't. Perhaps someday.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thankfully, no. Weird comments, yes, but no literal hate.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but nothing too kinky. Vanilla is the flavour.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few, yes. An honour to be asked.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven't. The closest I've got was last December when I wrote one chapter each day after a Tumblr prompt. My dear @totallysilvergirl did the same, and quite often we had the same take on the prompts. It still baffles me when I think about it.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

Sherlock and John. Johnlock forever. I adore them to an indecent extent, your honour. In any universe, they'll collide and find their way into the other's orbit. They're a joy to work with!

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have that many WIPs in my folder at the moment, and I'm quite confident that I'll be able to finish them in due course.

What are your writing strengths?

I think it must be dialogue and character building. And finding quaint information to include. Always such fun!

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot, definitely. At least if it's excessive, as the one I'm struggling with at the moment. I seem to have a difficulty knowing just how the story needs to play out sometimes.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I've done it a few times because I felt that the fic needed it. I obviously sought advice from people I knew had the language in question as their mother tongue.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I've only written for the Sherlock fandom. Both BBC and ACD.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

As of now, none. I'll stick with my current fandom/ship for the foreseeable future.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Not fair! I don't choose between my children, and I love all my fics, but The Luckiest Girl in the World is one I'm quite proud of. Managing to age Rosie one year for each chapter was quite a challenge, but I think I did alright.

Such a fun thing! Tagging a few, no pressure obviously. @calaisreno @stellacartography @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @khorazir

Fic writer meme

Thank you so much for tagging me @discordantwords.

How many works do you have on ao3? 34. 6 SPN RPF (J2), 1 Supernatural (Wincest - if you have opinions about this, I don't want to hear them), and 27 for BBC Sherlock. I feel compelled to add though that my fandom history predates AO3 by about ten years, and that most of the fics I wrote during that time aren't on AO3. All of my TPM fics, all of my HP fics and most of my Supernatural fics are in fact not on Ao3. So I actually have no idea how many fics I've written since I started in 2001.

What’s your total word count? 585,261 words.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Don't Read the Last Page, Bakers with Benefits, Running Obliquely, Guess Who's Coming to Christmas Dinner and All I Want for Christmas (is Proof) (you guys really like my Christmas fics :-))

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Yes, I love comments, and I love getting into dialogue with readers about their interpretation of the characters and canon! I try to answer everyone, if I ever forget to answer, I'm really sorry!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Um... None?

Of the ones on AO3 that is. I once wrote a Supernatural fic where Sam was a ghost and Dean had to exorcise him and it was heavily implied that Dean would commit suicide as soon as that was done, so that was pretty dark. And I wrote 2 Supernatural post Apocalypse fics that end well but the setting is very bleak.

But all my new stuff, especially all my Johnlock stuff, has happy endings.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Probably Bakers with Benefits. Sherlock gets everything he wants, including John, and they basically live happily ever after. But like I said, all my fics end happily.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, but that doesn't mean I won't, one of these days. I wrote a Bake Off Sherlock AU, but crossovers means having characters from both canons, and I re-cast both hosts and jurors, so it probably doesn't count.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, thankfully not. I've received a few odd comments here and there, but I never had the feeling that they were mailcious, just tone deaf.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, I do. Mostly of the vanilla kind, I'm not super kinky, and I'm not much for writing PWPs these days, but I like a good, spicy sex scene that shows you something about the characters and their dynamic. And sometimes it's just hawt. Which is also fine.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I heard a story once that someone stole one of my J2 fics and turned into a Het Degrassi fic, but I could never verify this claim because the fic got deleted. Other than that, not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, several, and it's a great honour.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, mostly with my wife @nuttersinc, we co-wrote an entire fic series and some other, smaller fics, and we once at a Boondock Saints RPG (I know. I know.) I haven't co-written with anyone in ages, and I'm not sure how good I would be at it these days, since I'm a pantser and don't have very much time, so I think I'd drive anyone with a regular writing schedule bananas. But I'm open to try.

What's your all-time favourite ship?

All time.... omg... Ok, so mirroring @discordantwords here, I adore Mulder and Scully still. They're the OG ship for me, they were the first pairing I read fanfic for. They'e such a good example of The Dynamic (repressed bisexual disguising as the "normal" one when they're just a more adapted sort of crazy and socially awkward genius crazy himbo the normal one has to save all the time). Scully especially owns my heart, I love her, and Gillian Anderson is, like. So. Hot.

But Sherlock and John... they're just... so GOOD. You can do anything with them. You can put them in any scenario, any time, any space, and they're just so magnetically drawn to each other, they complement each other so well and they're so bad and so good for each other... I love them. So much.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Oh, quite a few. The one where John is Sherlock's neighbour and they have this 'we're just friends' dynamic and everyone thinks they should just get married, including Rosie, who's a sassy teen in this fic. It's got a lot of potential but I don't think I'll ever finish it.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm good at dialogue and character dynamics. I think I'm also good at building character arcs, and I think I'm good at setting scenes and making oblivious idiots fall in love.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not the greates plot writer in the world. It takes me much more effort than writing a fic where, say, Sherlock and John have breakfast and talk, to pick a random example. I tend to lose the thread of the plot because I start writing the vibe before I have everything figured out, so I tend to get 'stranded' at some point. That's why my WIP folder looks the way it does.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't attempt it if I don't have a native speaker to look it over and tell me if it's correct. (if the other language isn't German, which is my native language).

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Roswell (the one from the early 2000s, not Roswell New Mexico. Yes, I'm a Fandom Old.)

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

None, honestly. If I wanted to write for a fandom or ship, I would.

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Oh my god I'm not sure I can answer that. I really like all of my fics, and I love most of them still. Some were such fun to write, some harder but the hardship made them more beloved.

I'll probably have to go for Bakers with Benefits, though, because I still like to re-visit that 'verse and I just LOVE these two.

That was fun! I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this, but especially @jrow @meetinginsamarra @lisbeth-kk and @thetimemoves

#my fic #fic writing #writing meme #fandom love

24 notes · View notes

sea-owl · 2 years ago

Note

OK I'm gonna throw you a curveball. My prompt is falling in love with someone's mind (their work) before realizing you're in love physically too and the couple is Benelope (Benedict and Penelope)

Huh, you know as much as the fandom loves using Penelope as the Bridgerton bicycle (I'm sorry Pen. I love you. You're my favorite but it's true.) I don't think I've really seen this one done as a serious couple. Which is saying something because I've read throuple Anthony/Kate/Penelope fanfiction before.

Alright let me give a crack at it.

Penelope was in love.

Not actual love per say. She wasn't in love with a person, more so she was in love with someone's work.

Their was a painter that the Bridgertons favored, so much so that he had at least one painting in almost every room in the house. It was his art that Penelope loved.

They were mostly landscapes but Penelope got a sense of longing, and searching from each one. Each stroke of paint brought life to the painting as a whole. Hidden object littered each painting this artist did, and there was one constant in each one.

Hidden among each painting was a red haired nymph. Often tiny and far away. If the viewer didn't look closely they would miss her red curls and curvy figure.

In a way these paintings reminded Penelope of her writing, every small piece fitting together to create a beautiful piece and in weird way they both made her feel seen.

"I take it you like the painting?"

Penelope jumped. "Oh Mr. Bridgerton, I'm sorry I didn't see you there."

Benedict Bridgerton gave a laugh. "It's alright Miss Featherington."

"And yes I do. The painter your family hired is quite talented. The paintings are beautiful."

Benedict fully faces her. "You think they're beautiful?"

Penelope nodded. "Yes. I especially love the little nymph in each one. It's too bad she's always so far away."

Benedict bit his lip, glancing back and forth between the painting and Penelope. "He has a painting of the nymph he's currently working on. I can show you."

Penelope's eyes widened. "I wouldn't want to intrude. And wouldn't it be rude if he hasn't finished yet?"

"He wouldn't mind."

Ten minutes later Penelope found herself in a studio in the Bridgerton home. Canvases of finished and unfinished paintings littered the room. In the middle was the unfinished painting of the nymph.

Penelope stared at painting of the nymph. The nymph herself was painted, all it needed was the background. But the thing that took her breath away was that it was her, or inspired by her at the very least. The nymph sensually laid out in a meadow of flowers with nothing more covering her than a scrap of green cloth. She looked peaceful, her red curls splayed around her head like a halo. The way Benedict painted the light around her gave the nymph an almost angelic glow.

"Benedict did you paint all of these?"

Penelope looked back at Benedict, who was shyly not looking at her. One arm, half exposed from him rolling up his sleeves, held her attention. To be honest she has never really thought of him like that before. Oh yes she knew he could be a rake, had heard the whispers in the ballrooms, and has written about it multiple times in her column, but to actually have those thoughts yourself -

Huh. Maybe Penelope was in love.

#benelope #benedict bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton #artist eye au #i hope this was ok #benedict is harder for me to get down

54 notes · View notes

brizzlovesyou · 2 years ago

Note

Hiiiiii sabrina 💕 3, 15, 27 and 29 for the ao3 wrapped game!

3) What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

It's gotta be a dwindling, mercurial high! That was a passion project born out of both sheer love and sheer frustration at what Netflix robbed us of. I related to my beloved Grizz perhaps more than I cared to admit and because he's such a well-read character, I got to experiment with how I write? It's much more poetic than my other works I think, and it was fun to challenge myself with how many literary references I could insert. Also, writing for a completely dead fandom that got one (1) season of a show 3 years ago definitely teaches you the value of writing for intrinsic validation and it was so fulfilling to know I was literally only writing it because it's what I wanted to read.

15) What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

late nights at the old arcade!! I'm really hoping to take my year-end holiday time to revamp my outline and figure out a plan for getting the rest of the chapters done. I have so many exciting plans for that story and I know exactly how it's going to end.

27) What do you listen to while writing?

Okay I love making playlists!! Sometimes I make them for a specific character or fandom, sometimes I make them for a specific fic. Sometimes I can't actually write with them on, but they're a really great thing to listen to while editing or beforehand to get me in the mood.

29) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

Alright my memory is really bad and I sometimes completely forget whatever I've written as soon as I hit publish as;ldkfj but here are two I'm very fond of:

From a dwindling, mercurial high Ch 1

Because Grizz has spent his entire life trying to speak a different language than the one that’s truly in his heart. He learned how to talk to girls, about girls. Learned terms like blitz and snap and fumble while trying to forget ones like kick-ball-change. Learned to keep his words and phrases simple, lest they fly far over the heads of his less eloquent peers.

He’s thrown himself into literature, into poetry, into any medium where people can bravely and beautifully express what they feel. He’s been memorizing their words since before he can remember - an instinct borne from the gratitude that someone somewhere can speak about the things he cannot.

From late nights at the old arcade Ch 6

She flinched, finally hearing verbal confirmation of all the fears and anxieties that had kept her in a chokehold during those lonely nights in Atlanta, the ones whispering that there was no point in reaching out because they didn’t need her anymore. That JJ was somehow better off without her.

Somewhere, at the bottom of her heart, under layers of scar tissue and insecurity, she knew he was lashing out. Knew better than anyone that JJ Maybank didn’t let people in easily. Could almost see the scene before her replaced by neon fluorescents - a pink hue on his face as he told her about his shitshow of a childhood, each new revelation unlocking with a different jukebox selection.

Time warped, expanding and contracting, as it all flickered through her mind, all the different ways this could play out. She was just drunk enough to let her own hurt take priority, just high enough not to care about being the better person.

ao3 wrapped [writers edition] - send me a number from this post and I’ll answer!

#robyn my love!!!!#thanks for sending and allowing me rant away about fanfic!! <3 #bobsfic #ask

2 notes · View notes

homerforsure · 3 years ago

Text

2021 fic year in review

tagged by @oatflatwhite and @nogamediaz Thanks pals!

completed works: 15

total word count: 181825 (how in the actual...)

fandoms i've written in: 9-1-1

looking back, did you write more than you'd expected this year?: Lol. Prior to this, the last writing I really did was a handful of Walking Dead fics in 2012 and like one or two The Force Awakens fics? (None of which were great). So I think it’s safe to say that I had no plans to write this year or possibly ever?

what's your favourite story of the year? I... hmm. I’m going to say get me through the night; make me feel alright. It’s my first one, right? It’s the start of all this and it always gives me the warm fuzzies when people like it.

did you take any writing risks this year? Can writing be the risk? Posting things? Being perceived?

do you have any fanfic or profic goals for next year? *glances at stack of increasingly threatening notes that have been slipped under my door just saying Hockey AU*

Also, I’m going to finish my Long Way Home series too. It’s only going to cover season 4 so I think I can do it. Probably should stop taking like 3 months between installments though.

most popular story of the year? carry my heart home to you

story most underappreciated by the universe, in my opinion: I mean I think I understand where everything is landing on my “sort by kudos” list. Slightly surprised by but I called from the dark and you picked up the phone but maybe not really? Because I posted it just before the season started and it instantly became irrelevant.

most fun story to write: I had a lot of fun with the Christmas fic (Here where we should be; kiss me, it’s christmas). And I had a blast doing whumptober

most unintentionally telling story: I don’t know? I mean they all have parts of me in them. Gosh, now I’m wondering what I’ve revealed without realizing it.

biggest disappointment: I really... God, I started this year having not written regularly since college. Every single minute has been a delightful surprise. I didn’t have enough expectations to be disappointed.

biggest surprise: Everything. I didn’t think I would write, I didn’t think I would try to write a series, I didn’t think I’d be writing sex, I didn’t think I could write whump. Every day is a new adventure!

Work-wise, I knew In Uncertain Times, The Uncertain Rules Apply was going to be a tough sell (yes, please enjoy this 20k Covid fic where everyone is sad). But it seems like every comment on it is just the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me and I really truly did not expect that.

favourite part of fandom this year: Having one! I’ve literally never successfully used the internet to meet and interact with people before? So it’s been both surreal and wonderful.

I’m sure I’ve missed people posting and I know there’s more than one of these going around so please feel free to disregard, but I’ll tag: @queerpanikkar @thekristen999 @evanbucxley @mellaithwen

13 notes · View notes

archived-and-moving · 2 years ago

Text

Hello hello!

I'm not too into the st fandom myself, I'm more so in the kotlc loop, but I've written and read my fair share of fanfics and drawn enough fanart that I think I might be able to give a few pointers.

Just as an FWI, creating things is different for everyone! So what might work for me might not work for you, or you might find something that could work better. It's all about adjusting to what you need!

Alright that said, here's a little list of things I wish I knew before I got into writing:

Don't expect your writing to be 'good.'

This held me back from posting any fic I made for years, because I was worried that it wouldn't be deemed "good enough" for fandom. So my number one tip would be to figure out what you want and write that! What matters is that you're creating something that you enjoy. If other people enjoy it that's a bonus!

You won't always be happy with your writing either, and that's ok! I remember I spent months on my first fic, tweaking and rewriting and fixing grammar and pacing issues. Just know what you want to focus on and know your fic will have flaws!

You'll grow and learn from them, so just let them be. After so long on a project, it's easy to get discouraged. But just know that you spent your free time on this project! It's from your brain and your creativity! So then be proud that you did that! You made it!

Under this vein too, try not to worry about word count. This one is one I'm still struggling with myself, but more words doesn't necessarily mean better. Some of my favorite fics are under a thousand words! So just write what you need to write in any way you want, and don't stress about how many words you type.

2. Try to find some inspiration to get you into the mood to write.

Personally, I love finding animatics and animations to get me in the mood to write/draw. I know a lot of other people love looking through the character or fandom tag that they enjoy to find fics to look off of, or make playlists for the fic they're writing/the dynamics they're writing for.

I noticed you tagged this as byler, so here's two animatics that I personally really enjoyed that relate to both them and the Stranger Things Fandom as a whole:

Daydreaming - Byler Animatic by Noodle

Heathens - Stranger Things Animation Meme by Dreamscape

Again, these are just things that get me in the mood for writing, so it might be completely different for you! Either way just consume content whether it be music, books, other media, fanfic, fanart, etc.

Consuming these kinds of creations can help get your own imagination flowing!

3. How to...Actually put words down.

This is by far the hardest part of writing if you ask any author or writer.

Sitting at a blank document, waiting for ideas to come to them. How to get those creative juices flowing and down out of your head and onto your paper. So how do you do it?

Well there's not really an answer.

Just. Type the words, one by one as they come to your head. Usually I try to start with ok. I want my charaters to go from point A to point B. So where's a logical place to start?

Well let's say that I really like sokeefe.

Well I want Sophie and Keefe to have a pillow fight at the end of my fic. So how do I get there?

Well they probably need to be hanging out, so depending on how much I want to write, I'll start them somewhere around there.

If I wanted a fic shorter in length, I'd probably start the fic after they were with one another.

If I wanted a longer one, I'd persuade them to get to the setting together so that I can get to that pillow fight.

So let's say I want the second option, so I start with Sophie waking up from a nightmare and calling Keefe in a panic. He calms her down and she tells him she wants him to come over.

So yay! Goal accomplished...right?

Well now Sophie's panicked, she's not going to appreciate a pillow fight. So how about we solve this conflict, and Keefe convinced Sophie to make mallowmelt to calm her down.

So I write that they bake mallowmelt but...oh man. Sophie's a disaster in the kitchen. And boom! The mallowmelt is ruined. But Keefe thinks this is hilarious and Sophie finds Keefe to be hilarious.

They're now laughing in the middle of the kitchen, with burned mallowmelt and tears in their eyes.

Now Sophie's probably in the mood to pillow fight! So they might clean up, go upstairs, have a pillow fight, and the end!

I achieved my goal through setting plot points that I want my characters to go through and conflicts that get in their way. You can set up as many conflicts as you want. They can be as little as an untied shoelace, or as big as a monster roaming the streets! But either way a good plot has characters working through conflict, and developing through that conflict.

Or, that's how I'd like to think of it! Again, I've never really put this into words for someone else before.

So! That's pretty much the best advice I can give. Just try your best and have fun, don't worry about how a work turns out, so much as write to your ability and motivation.

If it helps, write in small spurts, write all at once. Plan out your fic, or write it on a whim! Just test which method works the best for you, and you'll be absolutely golden.

to the writers out there, i wanna be able to write fanfics bc y’all know the feeling when you want a specific thing and it doesn’t exist, yea. any tips for beginner writers ???

#yeah hope this helps a little bit!#if not so sorry i just dropped this monster of a rb in your notes #either way i hope you have a great time writing #i complain about it a lot myself but i do enjoy making stuff for myself and other people around me #long post

18 notes · View notes

captainsophiestark · 4 months ago

Text

No Way To Know For Sure Part 2

Daniel Sousa x Reader

Masterlist - Part 1 - Join My Taglist!

Written for my personal fic writing challenge for 2024, Sophie's Year of Fic! Featuring a new fic being posted every Friday, all year long :)

Also written for @ghostofskywalker as a part 2 to the fic you let me adopt a while ago! I've had this in my drafts since all that AI stuff and I'm happy to have rediscovered and finished it 😄 Hope you like it!

Fandom: Marvel

Summary: Now that you've decided to move to LA with Daniel, there's a few loose ends left to tie up in New York.

Word Count: 2,174

Category: Fluff, Humor

Putting work into an AI program without permission is illegal. You do not have my permission. Do not do it.

I sighed dramatically as I sared straight ahead out the window, watching all the people bustling around the streets and the familiar, giant buildings hovering over them. I'd been gone for some time now, but New York hadn't changed.

Jarvis, currently in the driver's seat of the car, was positively buzzing, and I could tell he was struggling not to say anything. Even the great city of New York couldn't keep me distracted from all the ridiculous energy he was projecting.

"Alright, Mr. Jarvis, spit it out," I said, at last turning from the window to look at my friend. He glanced at me, lips pursed tight to try and hold back a smile before he had to turn his gaze back to the road.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I must admit, I'm rather excited. Since Mr. Stark has been spending more time in Los Angeles, I've missed seeing all of you here in New York. Having you regularly in Los Angeles as well as Rose and Chief Sousa... well, it will be a delight."

A smile made its way onto my face despite my best effots. I'd wanted Daniel to drive me in to the office this morning to put in my transfer request for the LA office, but he had a meeting with an informant he couldn't move. I hadn't really wanted to resort to Jarvis, only because I knew he wouldn't be able to stay calm about my decision, but now I had to admit I was happy to be here with him.

"It'll be wonderful to get to see more of you too, Mr. Jarvis," I said with a smile. "You, me, Ana, and Daniel should set up a regular double date."

"Oh, that would be lovely!" Jarvis turned to give me a big smile as we at last pulled up in front of the New York SSR. He hopped out and ran around to open my door for me, beating me to the punch of opening it myself, something we'd turned into a bit of a competition. "Ana will be delighted at the idea too, I'm sure."

"Maybe we can even invite Howard," I said, my voice serious even though I was cackling in my head. I got out of the car and stood, smirking at Jarvis' less than enthusiastic expression as I continued. "He can bring along whoever he's brought home with him on any given week."

"That may be the single most horrifying suggestion I've heard in my entire life."

I cackled, clapping Jarvis on the shoulder as I walked past him and towards the entrance to the "telephone company".

"Thanks for the ride! I promise I won't let Howard crash any of our couples' nights, unless he finally gets a girlfriend who sticks around for more than a few weeks."

"At this point in Mr. Stark's life, a few days would be impressive," he called after me. I laughed, then turned back at the door to give Jarvis a smile.

"I'll see you back in LA!"

"I'm looking forward to it!"

I smiled and waved before finally heading through the door and back into the familiar hallways of the New York SSR. Daniel would be picking me up later, after I got everything sorted out for my move, and then who knew when I'd next be back in this place and this city. We had plenty of friends here and the other half of the SSR, so it's not like I'd never see the city again, but for the first time since I'd started working here I had no idea when I'd next be back. I tried not to let it get to me, but stepping into the currently-empty bullpen of the place I'd spent so much time in the last few years drove the knife in a little harder.

I'd intentionally arrived before most of the other agents got here, hoping to avoid a lot of hubub about my transfer request. No matter how nostalgic I felt being here, my decision had been made. I loved Daniel and the life I'd started building with Daniel in LA enough that nothing could make me want to leave it. Not even my favorite pizza place on the way between here and my former apartment.

"Well well well. Look what the cat dragged in."

Of course, I couldn't get away with avoiding Chief Jack Thompson, especially not when I had to turn my transfer request papers in to him. He came striding out of his office, a massive grin on his face as he crossed the bullpen towards me.

"Long time no see, Agent."

"I saw you two weeks ago, Jack."

"Yeah, but in LA. You've been on-loan for a while. I haven't seen you as my agent, in New York, in a long time."

I just rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, enjoy the next half hour then, because as soon as these papers are finalized, I'm officially Daniel's agent."

"Now hold on a minute, I have some serious concerns about you leaving that we need to address before I finalize anything. I mean, is it really appropriate for a chief to be dating one of his own agents? Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen if you ask me."

"Jack. You are the one who sent me there, you meddling mother hen, with the exact hope that this would happen. I will literally fight you in the middle of the bullpen if you want to use that against me now."

Jack held up his hands. "Alright, relax. Your transfer's basically already finalized, I just need your signature next to mine. Then you can go run off into the sunset with Sousa and leave the greatest city in the world behind like it's nothing."

"Alright, you went to Ithica for college. At least I'm leaving for another interesting city, even if it's not as good."

"At least we can agree on that last part."

I snorted, but I couldn't totally keep a smile off my face either. Jack and I had actually kind of become friends in the past few months, especially in the wake of Daniel leaving, and I was surprised to find a little ping of sadness in my chest at the thought of leaving him behind with the rest of this city. If you'd told me a few years ago I'd be missing Jack Thompson, I would've laughed in your face.

Jack pulled the transfer papers out of a file on the nearest desk where they'd apparently been waiting for me all morning, setting them down in front of me. In turn, I handed him the papers I'd filled out since I last saw him, then glanced at what was in front of me. True to his word, they only needed my signature to be finalized.

"We're gonna miss you around here," he said, his voice unusually serious. I glanced up to find him holding out a pen to me, a small smile on his face. "Seriously."

"...I'm gonna miss you too, Jack."

We held each other's gaze for a few moments, maybe the first time we'd had a sincere exchange in my entire time working here. Finally, he cleared his throat, looking away as I finally took the pen from his hand.

"Alright, that's enough of that sappy crap. You bring a box to clean out your desk? I don't want to have to waste agency time clearing out whatever garbage you left in there before you went to LA."

"Don't worry, I've got a plan for all my leftover trash and scribbled notes I don't need anymore."

"I don't like the way you said that. What do you-"

"Oh, thank goodness!"

I straightened from signing the documents after finishing the last one to find Peggy coming through the doors into the bullpen, looking slightly more frazzled than usual. She shook her head at me as she approached, dropping her stuff at the base of the desk and putting her hands on her hips.

"I thought I'd missed you. I can't believe you were planning to just duck in and duck out this morning. What were you planning to do if Thompson hadn't called me to tell me when you were coming in? Just leave for Los Angeles without a goodbye?"

"Actually, Daniel and I were planning to invite the two of you to dinner tonight for a real goodbye. I'm just trying to avoid causing a scene in the middle of the bullpen, in the middle of the SSR's workday."

Peggy and Jack both scoffed, the sounds eerily similar. I raised an eyebrow, but Jack leaned in and snatched the papers off my desk before I could comment.

"Alright, I'm gonna go process these since you don't want to hang around here. By the time you're done with your desk, I'll be done with these."

I nodded, watching Jack's back as he headed back into his office. As soon as he disappeared through the doorway, I turned back to Peggy.

"I need you to get him out of his office for, like, five minutes between when I finish cleaning out my desk and when I head out of here. I'm gonna put all the papers and stuff I don't need in his desk."

Peggy grinned. "I'll make sure you have the window of opportunity you need."

"I knew I could count on you."

We snuck a high-five before Jack could notice, then I headed over my desk to start the packing process in earnest. There really wasn't much I needed to get, since I'd brought most of the things I needed with me to LA the first time, but a handful of the things I'd collected found a temporary home in my bag. Even better, the stack of trash I was planning to stick in Jack's office was substantial, and just like Peggy'd promised, she dragged Jack away from his desk long enough to give me just the opening I needed.

I stepped out of his office and back into the bullpen after finishing my mission, and a moment later, Peggy and Jack came around the corner to join me. I smiled at the both of them.

"Desk's been cleared. Papers are done. I think... I'm officially all finished up here."

"You sure I'm not going to find some trash you forgot about when I try to put somebody else at your desk?" Jack asked, hands on his hips. I rolled my eyes and sighed, responding without missing a beat.

"Of course not, Jack. You're not going to find any forgotten trash in my desk. Come on."

All true, technically. Peggy grinned at me, but I managed to keep a straight face as Jack put his hands on his hips and sighed.

"...I guess this is it, then, huh?"

"I guess it is."

I sighed, looking around at the empty bullpen one last time. I hadn't been working out of this office for a while now, and it's not like I'd never be back. But something about having my desk packed, ready to head out the door with the last of my roots pulled up still hit me a bit.

"I'm... gonna miss you guys," I said, shaking my head as I turned back to my two friends. Jack rolled his eyes, since we'd already exhausted his reserve of sincerity for the day, but Peggy gave me a soft smile.

"We'll miss you too. And you can expect regular visits from us in the winter, when we're sick of the snow and need to use our friends for access to the sunshine in Los Angeles."

I grinned. "As long as you promise to bring real pizza with you whenever you visit."

"Deal."

We shared a smile, and thankfully, before any of us could get any sappier, Daniel walked through the door, his meeting with his contact apparently over with.

"Hey," he said, giviing me a smile as he walked over to join us. He leaned in to give me a quick kiss, then pulled back with a smile. "You ready to go? Our favorite breakfast place is waiting for us."

I smiled, then gave Daniel a nod. We were technically on vacation, so we'd planned to spend the rest of our day on a tour of all of our favorite places in New York city.

"We'll see you guys for dinner tonight, right?" Daniel asked as he took my hand, the two of us taking a few steps towards the door.

"As long as you're buying," called Jack, and Peggy nodded. Daniel shot him a thumbs up as I rolled my eyes, and just like that, Daniel and I were standing on the threshold of the New York SSR.

"You ready?" Daniel asked, leaning in to whisper to me. I took a deep breath, sparing one last moment of reminiscing for the place I'd spent so much of my life in over the last few years, then turned to Daniel with a smile.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

He smiled back at me, giving my hand a quick squeeze before we turned our backs on the office, officially and completely moving forward together. It still stung a little to be leaving, but not nearly as badly as it could've, since I knew and loved where I was heading.

****************

Everything Taglist: @rosecentury @kmc1989 @space-helen

Marvel Taglist: @valkyriepirate @infinetlyforgotten @sagesmelts @gaychaosgremlin

28 notes · View notes

atlantablack · 3 years ago

Text

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

tagged by: @being-luminous thanks much for the tag 💖💖

This is such a daunting challenge god, picking my five favorites god. but alright let's see here. No wait, this was actually so fucking hard holy shit

1. Remember me love when I'm reborn

In one life Harry Potter lies dead on a forest floor. Eyes unseeing and body cold. Voldemort laughs and tries to ignore the gaping emptiness that has expanded in his chest.

In another, time ripples and Harry appears in the middle of a forest. Eyes bright and death wrapped around her like a cloak.

In a life that could have been, Harry flings herself from Hagrid’s arms and wins the war. Lives her life ignoring the gaping hole in her chest where someone else’s soul used to sit.

This is the very first multi-chapter fic I ever wrote and finished. I'd also just joined a discord server that ended up really motivating me to write and where I ended up meeting @kitastrophea and @queerofthedagger in 2019, two of my best friends. so this fic really encapsulates that era of my life, of getting back into writing, and making friends that I can't imagine life without and it has a very special place in my heart.

2. a god at an altar, a beggar full of faith

The dawn was breaking the bones of your heart like twigs. You had not expected this, the bedroom gone white, the astronomical light ... - Visible World by Richard Siken

For every person that sinks magic beneath Arthur's skin like an offering, another tries to murder him, always furious when the magic harmlessly bounces off, Arthur held safe by the sacrifices of those who have died for him.

He wonders if they knew that he was aware of what they were doing. He spends a lot of time wondering why they would protect him. His father has them murdered and still more come, always in disguise, sometimes only brushing past him in the marketplace, a finger to his wrist, a hand to his back, the sweet rush of protection burrowing beneath his skin and promising safety.

He wonders how long it is until they decide to stop protecting the son of their butcher?

I wrote this for Merlin Holidays 2021 and it's one of my favorite fics I've written for the Merlin fandom. I was in the middle of resisting the urge to write marvel fic too and some tropes carried over that ended up fitting really well. I'm also really proud of the little details I winded through it and the bits of backstory I gave Arthur.

3. no (wo)man is an island

Holding someone’s soul next to your own for seventeen years leaves behind an echo.

An echo is all that’s needed to carry a voice across space (and time).

I just like this one lol we need more fem!Harry where it's also fem!Voldemort!

4. so keep up your heart, and tell me, as it shapes itself

P.S. Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky -- 1958 Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.

Steve says, he's my friend, and Sam spends a year chasing Bucky across Europe. Spends the next year missing him.

One of the biggest reasons I started writing for sambucky was because I read this very specific trope of Sam helping Steve look for Bucky after catws and finding him, and writing my own version of that trope is just, god, this fic is like my favorite younger child. I'm so incredibly proud of it and love it a lot. Writing this also really helped me shape the way I write Sam <3

5. half in the shadows (half burned in flame)

He gets as far as New York before his body goes into withdrawal. Before he remembers that Hydra had stuck a failsafe in him so he’d go down long enough to be found.

Before he remembers that he'd run before. (He doesn’t want to go back. He doesn’t want to. He never wants to and it never matters.)

This time it does.

Last, but certainly not least, my first really huge sambucky fic. I started this thing in January and just finished it like a week ago. It grew so much larger than I ever meant for it to be and I loved every second of it. It was one of the big first things that @magicinavalon and I bonded over, and I put so much love into this fic. It's always going to be my baby in this fandom, the fic that really grabbed me and said hey, you're in it now babe. Have fun down the rabbit hole <3

tagging: @magicinavalon @yammz @kitastrophea @obsessivelymoody @jules-of-the-crown and @queerofthedagger again just because <3

#tag meme #atlanta rambles #harry potter #sambucky #merthur

6 notes · View notes

blastedking · 3 years ago

Note

Hello. I am a simple hermit who would like to bring a message.

I want to thank you for all your art this year, both written and non. I've been following your ULF comics ever since you posted that first page, and it's been an amazing journey to watch your style change and become cleaner and improve over time. Your stories that you've written have also most certainly been a highlight, I always looked forward to new chapters every Saturday. I especially loved Kilchoan and the lore you've woven into the background of your comics, it's definitely well thought-out and it has always been a pleasure to read.

The fact that you've been able to keep your comics and writings consistent has been really amazing. I saw your post about your finals grind and I know you'll be taking a break to really concentrate on your schooling (good luck with all of it, by the way), but the fact that you still have enough queued for weeks and months anyway? Absolutely incredible. I hope you are proud of yourself, especially because I definitely think you should be. You more than deserve it.

I can't wait to see what the new year brings for you and your artwork. But even if you do take pauses and breaks here and there, I won't mind at all. You've already made such wonderful and amazing work already and it'd be worth any wait necessary.

May your new year bring peace, hope, and happiness. I wish you well in all your endeavors, both artistic and not.

Oh, my dear hermit - what you doing, you bring tears to my eyes!

This is such a lovely and wonderful message and it truly makes me all goopy inside. In the good way obviously. Thank you SO much. This really means a lot to me and I do fail spectacularly to put these feelings into words right now because you just hit on so many points dear to me that I’m left flailing helplessly here. <3

(I have to say, the pointing out of Kilchoan really hits hard (in a good way again), because I was kinda nervous in a way about that one (not unsure mind you, I do like Kilchoan a lot too. xD). But all the other three stories before had more of a direct link to the ehh “official canon” - while Kilchoan really just is out there on its own, living its best life. While yes, Zargothrax is there, and Ralathor to an extent too, there are a lot of OCs in it too. And I know that kind of stuff isn’t always the most well-received.)

Following the whole thing from the very start - I have to say since I’ve been queuing up some of the old art - it’s been a ride. I’m very happy with where I am art wise right now, especially comparing it to my art two years ago. (Yes I will still stress again and again that it’s really a shaky comparison to make myself because I came into this fandom out of a year-long hiatus from drawing ANYTHING at all. I was very VERY rusty xD ). Thank you for sticking around!

But yes - I’ve been prepping for this finals grind for a while now (basically since the beginning of the year because I knew it was coming and I’d need the time) - the only thing I didn’t manage to finish for the life of me is “Return to Darkness” - Which I really, really wanted to have done by this point. But that thing has gotten longer than planned. I am at the finale now so - that’s good. But chances are good it will first drop after the finals are over. BUT that’s alright. x)

AGAIN

Thank you so so much! I hope you’ll have a fantastic new year! And if that year happens to have you stick around some more around these parts, I wouldn’t say no to that! ✨

#King's speech #anon #ask #universelawoffire #my heart is melting #long post

9 notes · View notes

villainess-noble-girl · 4 years ago

Text

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Title: Second-Year Valentine's Day

Author: meiberry

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12852677/1/Second-Year-Valentine-s-Day

Fandom: Kenkyo Kenjitsu

Pairing: EnjouXReika

Photo: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/67148847

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

"No. I'm not going to take it. It's going to make me sleepy. Plus it tastes like soap."

The muffled voice of Yukino came from beneath the covers. The IV drip tube poked out from the ball of sheets in the hospital bed.

Shuusuke sighed at his little brother's stubborn actions. Good thing he came prepared for this. "Yukino. Kisshouin-san wrote you a letter."

The ball of sheets shifted, and Yukino's head popped out from beneath the covers, his doe peering up at Enjou in surprise. "...Reika-oneesama?"

Shuusuke held up a small pink envelope with "Yukino-kun" written in neat handwriting in the center. Yukino reached for it when Shuusuke swept it back out of reach with a gentle smile.

"..." Sullenly, Yukino obediently drank the medicine. Watching as he finished it, Shuusuke patted his head and handed him a glass of water with a piece of candy to take care of the medicine's bitter aftertaste. Yukino popped the candy in his mouth with one hand and eagerly held out the other, looking up at Shuusuke expectantly. Shuusuke handed him the letter and watched as his little brother opened it earnestly.

In the beginning, Shuusuke was pretty surprised to see him get along so well with an older girl. Usually, Yukino was not so nice. He was a really smart kid for his young age, and many older girls had been trapped by his soft, harmless facade only to be humiliated and insulted beyond repair. But recently, Shuusuke found that with Kisshouin, Yukino seemed to genuinely act like his appearance.

Shuusuke could see why. Kisshouin clearly didn't have any ulterior motives when speaking to Yukino. Older girls usually saw Yukino as a means to an end. If they weren't patronizing then they were obsequious, obviously trying to use the younger brother to get to the older one. But when it came to Kisshouin… if anything, it was as if her treatment of the two brothers was reversed. In the ten years of knowing her, the very first time that Kisshouin started a one-on-one conversation with Shuusuke that lasted longer than one minute happened to be because Yukino. It was a dreadfully humbling experience. Yukino has sure put up with a lot these past few years.

In any case, no matter how devilish he was to other people, in the end, Yukino really was still a little boy, and Shuusuke was simply grateful that he was able to be just a normal, cute kid with someone, even if it was a girl who clearly didn't put Shuusuke in her eyes.

He watched peacefully as his little brother's eyes happily flew across the letter.

"Kisshouin-san really cares about Yukino."

Yukino shot a glance over at him, "What? Is oniisama jealous?" And then he continued reading his letter.

"And don't think that I don't realize you told her to write this to make me obediently stay in the hospital."

Shuusuke smiled wryly. When he could tell Yukino was finished reading, he continued, "Well, Yukino seems to really like Kisshouin-san. I thought maybe you would listen if she asked you personally."

Yukino smiled, happy from finishing Kisshouin's letter. "Yeah, I do like her. Reika-oneesama is really nice and she's not just pretending. Do you want to read it, oniisama? I'll let you read it, since you asked her to write this for me. I'm going to the bathroom."

Yukino handed the letter to Shuusuke as he climbed out of bed and grabbed at his drip stand to roll it into the bathroom in the room.

Shuusuke blinked at the letter in his hands. Although he didn't ask to read it, he was honestly pretty curious. What did she say to Yukino to cheer him up, anyways?

The letter was not very long, and it fit neatly on the cute stationary decorated with little birds and vines.

Yukino-kun,

Enjou-sama told me that you are admitted to the hospital. I am worried for your health. Your family must be even more worried than me. I hope you take care of your body because many people care about you very much, and we want for you to quickly become well again. With that said, I hope you listen to the doctor so that you can leave the hospital soon. I know that sometimes it is really hard to do something you don't like. But experts have their reasons for their advice.

Recently I have been learning to make desserts from a friend. To be honest, my dessert-making skill is much farther behind my cooking. I think I know what to do when I try to be creative and individual with my own ideas, but actually, my friend tells me that the greatest mistake in baking is not following from the recipe. This is completely different from cooking, where not following the recipe is not that big of a deal. When I listened to my friend, I made a dessert more delicious than anything I'd ever made in my life! I realized at that moment, ah, so that is the difference between a normal person and an expert. With that said, I hope you understand the importance of listening to experts such as your doctor.

When you come back, you'll be able to see your other friends and me in the Petite Pivoine salon again.

Wishing you a quick recovery,

Kisshouin Reika

By the time Yukino returned from the bathroom, Shuusuke had already finished reading the letter and had set it on the tray over the foot of Yukino's bed.

"So, what did you think of Kisshouin-san's letter? Are you going to listen to her when she asks to you listen to to doctor's advice?"

"I guess." Yukino sat at the foot of the bed and picked up the letter again, folding it and carefully putting it back in its envelope before he flopped back into bed, pulling the covers over himself. "The way she asks me to listen to the doctor is just less irritating than when you ask me to listen to the doctor."

Shuusuke helped put the covers over Yukino.

"I wonder why Reika-oneesama is learning to make desserts." Yukino looked at Shuusuke, his eyes widening. "Valentine's Day is coming up, isn't it? I wonder what Reika-oneesama is making…"

"Hmm. Who knows."

"I wonder if she's learning to bake something for the person she likes..."

"Hmm. Who knows."

Yukino's eyes widened like big dark marbles as he looked at Shuusuke.

"You're curious, too, aren't you oniisama? Ne, ne, what kinds of sweets has oniisama received from Reika-oneesama on Valentine's day?"

"Actually, I've never received anything from Kisshouin-san on Valentine's Day."

"Ehhhhh!"

Shuusuke thought about how in the ten years since he's known Kisshouin Reika, she has never given anyone Valentine's chocolates. Year after year, the whole school secretly held its breath in wonder at who the Goddess Kali of Suiran would afflict with her attentions. And year after year the answer was an anti-climatic… nobody.

Kisshouin Reika never gave anybody at Suiran chocolates for Valentine's day. Him and Masaya were not excluded.

Ah, wait, that's not right. Last year she gave courtesy chocolates to the student council president. In fact, Shuusuke was the one who pointed this out to Masaya... Even though she had done it in secret, for Kisshouin Reika to give chocolates to a guy at Suiran was no small matter and in the end the word leaked anyways. Because she had done it pretty secretively, there were no massive rumours, but the thing about secrets was that they always spread. Shuusuke heard about it from the more low-key sources.

Back then, he had remembered how she seemed to have had a crush on the same student council president back in middle school, but nothing had happened even after all these years. For nothing to have happened all this time, what other conclusion was it other than unrequited love? He hinted at this story of camaraderie to Masaya in hopes of inspiring him to move on with his life. Unrequited love was not the end of the world. Just look at Kisshouin-san.

Who knew that the whole thing would have worked out so beautifully at graduation. Tomoe Senju actually had a girlfriend! And he called Kisshouin Reika a sister in front of everybody. Masaya was so moved by Kisshouin's composure and courage. Shuusuke felt like he was watching Masaya watch a romance movie. Out of all the times that he's taken advantage of Kisshouin, Shuusuke felt most proud about the way that one turned out. Witnessing the way Kisshouin "handled" the student council president's "public rejection" totally inspired Masaya and brought him back from depression. He completely recovered from Yurie's rejection after that.

Yukino's marble eyes seemed to glitter in wonder as he looked up at the handsome young man sitting beside the bed.

"Wow, even though every year it seems like you get chocolates from every single girl we know, there is actually one girl who has never given you any chocolates… not even once! Hehhh..."

Yukino did not look or sound sympathetic at all with the the corner of his lips twitching upwards.

"That reminds me... when we first met and I introduced myself, Reika-oneesama made a 'geh!' face when she heard my name, like she was really saddened to hear that Oniisama was my oniisama... I thought that maybe she hated you!"

"Hmm. I sure hope Kisshouin-san doesn't hate me. But if she does hate me, then that's unfortunate."

"No, no. I don't think Reika-oneesama hates you, Oniisama! She probably doesn't even think about you at all."

"..." Shuusuke's expression remained serene as he stayed silent.

Yukino looked at his face and suddenly giggled. Shuusuke joined in with a few chuckles. For a short moment, they laughed together.

"Ahahaha…"

"Hahaha…"

"..."

Yukino turned over in bed. "Don't worry, oniisama. Maybe one day Reika-oneesama will also remember to give you chocolates, too."

"..."

"Oh yeah, oniisama, could you find me something to write with? I want to write Reika-oneesama a reply."

"...Alright. I'll go find you some paper."

The next morning, Shuusuke thanked Kisshouin for her letter to Yukino. She looked really happy that it helped. Yeah, it was really useful. She was pretty humble.

"Yukino said that it was fun to read about making sweets."

"I could only think of unimportant things to say… well..."

Hm, there it was. Shuusuke could always hear the instant whenever it sounded like Kisshouin was trying to wrap up a conversation and escape. Usually, he'd just let her go. But for some reason, he didn't feel like it this time. The words Yukino said yesterday skipped around his mind, reviving an old and annoying itch.

"So Kisshouin-san is making sweets. Could it be that on Valentine's day..."

"Umm…" He watched as Kisshouin's eyes lowered, her cheeks blushing very lightly. He could imagine her cheeks must have been warm to the touch now. "Yes..."

"Hn."

It'd be a lie to say that he never expected any chocolates from Kisshouin Reika. It wasn't to say that he wanted her chocolates or anything like that. In fact, the idea of actually eating Kisshouin Reika's handmade sweets seemed like something that belonged to the realms of extreme adventures and chemically dangerous thrill-seeking. Although, whether or not Reika's chocolates are edible, Shuusuke wouldn't want to eat them anyways, as he didn't have a sweet tooth, but...

...He still expected to get them.

It was about logic. If a girl knew Enjou Shuusuke, then she would give him chocolates on Valentine's day. (The same applied to Kaburagi Masaya.) Three of five of chocolates would be honmei. That was the rule. He knew it was a very unique and extraordinary rule. Certainly not every boy in the world had the ridiculous privilege of receiving a mountain of chocolates and sweets from all the girls he knew. But, that was his experience.

In accordance with his life experience, it was natural to expect chocolates from a girl he knew when he's always received chocolates from every girl he knew. With no exceptions.

Except this one.

#villainess noble girl #fanfic #light novel #kenkyo kenjitsu #EnjouXReika #Enjou Shuusuke #Kisshouin Reika #Japanese noble girl #isekai

17 notes · View notes