#it's almost 7 in the fucking morning
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This came to me in a divine vision
#shitpost#linkin park#count von count#this is it#the stupidest thing I've ever made#it's almost 7 in the fucking morning
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friday update: what a shitty day
#yue yaps#its raining hard#stressful and v emotional morning#almost threw up from anxiety#but uhhh its the weekend tomorrow and i’m finally getting a haircut so there’s that !#my hair is so damn long and with summer coming it only makes sense to chop some off heh#plus my curtain bangs have gotten so long too :C#on the bright side !! i have a lil trip soon :3 will prob be drunk the whole duration of it but fuck it we ball#gdi its 2pm and i haven’t eaten a proper meal since 7 am sigh
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Just made another weird dream in which animated Optimus was arguing with (what I think was) Sentinel (idk it was an orange and blue silhouette)
And at some point he said "yeah my lord doesn't flame... he fires 😎🤙" talking about Megatron...
I have no idea of what's the meaning behind this??? Like idk I guess Optimus/I meant "he's not all talk he is a man of action?" Like "he doesn't talk behind someone's back(flame) he straight up kills you (fires)"????
Idk abshfjhfjgjggjugi
#I WOULD be cringing about the “my pord part”#but i have the suspicion it was inspired by “the brave shall heed the call”#yesterday i finished reading the last chapters and i was shook to my core#in a positive way#hdhffhhfhfj#btw yea “my lord doesn't flame he fires😎”#BAUAAHAHSHSHSHDHHHDHDD#steel rambles#transformers#maccadam#maccadams#shitpost#megatron#optimus prime#tfa optimus prime#bro megop won't leave me alone not wven in my dreams#now please let's analyze this in a freudian way like “you want to be op and fuck megs” or smth#idk it's almost 7 in the morning my sleep deprived brain doesn't even know how to write atm
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spent from 10:30 PM to about 3:40 AM at the emergency vet last night with my brother's puppy, Snoop. she's okay, but she ate something that made her sick and I was super scared in light of Stringer's bloat so i wasn't taking chances and took her
she came home with me early this morning and we went back for a recheck around noon and she's gotten the all clear, so here's hoping all dogs stay healthy from here on out!
and no more emergency vet visits, please
#she was eating the blanket at the bottom of her crate in the brief intervals i crated her to walk Stringer#but also was gnawing obsessively on nylabones yesterday she may have ingested parts of#so i can't say for sure what did it but her stomach was all out of whack and they said her x-rays might have shown foreign objects#but the recheck today shows they've all reached her colon and out of her stomach so they will be pooped out on their own#thank fucking god - i was almost hysterical last night before becoming numb sitting in that ER with all those other animals suffering#saw some absolutely horrific things - i hate hate hate going to the emergency vet it's always traumatizing#cause not only are you dealing with your pet and their scares but then total strangers who are also contending with life and death#we got home around 4:15 this morning and i didn't get to sleep until 5ish and then was away by 7 so i'm fucking exhausted#i napped for an hour earlier this evening but i feel tonight i will pass out early
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Truly Genuinely and from the bottom of my heart: Windows Movie Maker, OBS, and Piracy sites were a mistake and I am about to become a problem for real
[Video ID: a 24 second video with clips of Sevika, Ambessa Medarda, and Captain Greyson from Arcane set to the first 24 seconds of the song Joyride by Kesha]
#OOPS LMAO I SPENT LIKE 5 HOURS ON THIS INSTEAD OF DOING LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE#Arcane s2#arcane amv#Fuck you I'm maintagging it I think I'm a genius#I do have the full video *almost* finished but the timings aren't right and I can do better so I'm giving up for the evening.#Because it's 2:30 am and I am allegedly supposed to work in the morning lmao#And now every stupid amv Idea I've ever had is literally just like 6 or 7 hours of work away.#Jo makes AMVS#<apparently#I'm about to be Such a goddamn nuisance. I CAN MAKE ARCANISTS LULLABY GMVS FOR GHOST OF TSUSHIMA#AND A SHIP IN THE BOTTLE GMV FOR MASS EFFECT ASDFKASDF#Now I just have to figure out how to draw fast enough to make Naddpod AMVs lmao#video#amv
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they should make a life where you don't have appointments, work, school and scheduled events every single day for months on end
#i just wanna spend like 2 full days rotting in bed is that too much to ask#december i'm going on a vacation with family + gf and we're trying to schedule a lunch/dinner so that we can go over the itinerery#and other stuff like my gf is diabetic so she's going to tell everyone the procedures in case of an emergency etc#and the soonest i'm available for that is oct 20th like bruh#every week day i've got classes 7:30-11:50 work 13:00-17:00 and then gym therapy or futsal practice at night#oh and sometimes the professor that i'm the student assistant (? monitor in pt) for wants me to go to her night classes#and then on weekends i've got futsal practice sat morning usually a match either saturday or sunday legal advice clinic 4x a semester#and then birthdays friend group meetups (with ppl i haven't properly seen in a WHILE so i don't wanna bail) family stuff or gf's family stu#oh and i take care of the finances of our futsal team so there's that as well#and then when i'm free i spend my time with my love (who i mostly see on either day of the weekend and sometimes for dinner on weekdays)#those are my favorite “appointments” i love spending time with her so much but even though we have quite a few staying in dates we also#pretty frequently go out to cafes restaurants parks meet up with mutual friends etc#so like... no bed rotting ever adfdsal#honestly i am not THAT busy compared to some ppl that i know#like i work from home most days of the week commute only 20 min to college am not a part of any study group etc etc#but man... that vyvense sure is working cause i do not think i would be able to do what i do now when my adhd was unmedicated#also i'm thinking of maybe getting a new internship next year cause even though i love my current one it's in public law which atm#is the field i'm thinking of getting into after school but getting into private law in brazil with only public law uni experience is#incredibly difficult. so i wanna be 100% sure i actually want public law. which means experiencing private law.#which means a private law internship#so i'm wondering how the fuck imma be able to pull that off next year#at least it pays much more than my current one! like probably double!#but honestly even with all the shit that i do and wishing i had more time for myself i've actually been so happy lately#i'm learning more at uni than i used to be able to i do pretty well at my internship i've got wonderful friends both old and new#my family is well and we get along like always i switched positions in futsal and am doing suprisingly good as a goalkeeper#and i'm in my first ever relationship. it's been almost 8 months till we made it official and it blows me away how good it's been#like we haven't faught once. disagreed on a couple things sure. but not a single fight and tbh even disagreements are very rare#idk we communicate and give each other grace and i just feel so loved. she knows me so well. i love her so so so so much.#like man just this saturday we were having an early dinner at a bakery. she stopped what she was saying and just stared at me smiling#and like i couldn't hold eye contact. cause she's so so fucking beautiful and she was looking at me with so much love and i had to look awa
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ily bakugou katsuki u are the only thing that hasn't pissed me off today
#today i was basically told that i have to take all of my breaks at work back to back to back within one hour two hours after i clock in#which means that i don't get a break at all later during the night so i don't fucking Want that but i have no other choice because#i'm basically being cornered into doing it by one of the managers who texted my department lead and said i tried to get someone to#cover me for my break at “almost 7 when everyone is going home” which is a fucking lie i asked at 6#who the fuck wants to take all of their breaks in one hour two hours after they start their eight hour shift#i asked for someone to cover me at 6 because i had to use the bathroom really fucking badly and she was like#“why didn't you take them while the midshift was here” the midshift has a three hour overlap with my shift and i have to be clocked in#for at least two hours before i take any breaks at all and i don't want to take all of my breaks at once that soon#ONE HOUR BEFORE MY COWORKER LEAVES#and like we both have stuff to do????#all three breaks two hours into my shift then nothing for the next six fucking hours funniest joke i've ever heard in my entire life#except it's not a joke because it's from a manager so if i don't do this stupid ass shit i could get disciplined or fired#because they don't want to send anyone to cover for me#you know what's even funnier? i am the ONLY PERSON scheduled for these fucking 2-10 shifts except for our full time guy#my other coworkers? 4-10. i don't want this fucking 2-10 shift get me the fuck OFF OF IT#EATS MY ENTIRE FUCKING DAY#i woke up at 8:30am this morning and it still felt like my entire goddamn day was stolen from me because i wake up have time to myself for#about 5 hours out of my whole day then i have to get ready and get my ass to work until the end of the fucking day#tag rant#tag vent#bakugou katsuki#i feel like this is something i should call my union rep about but idk
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im so tired man. but my brain won't be quiet
#rabbit.txt#ive been awake almost two days straight. partly because the school behind my house has left its parking lot lights on 24/7 lately#and there is a light that shines. directly into my room. and it is so bright it comes through thr curtains.#i keep seeing the light thru the curtains and thinking it's morning and then. well.#i have trouble relsxing again when its morning#i miss my fucking Tizanidine man what the fuckkkk
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having a category 12 "thought about william wisp for too long" moment
#that last scene in 40 . got me fucked up so bad. motherfucker. aauagahaghhhhrrghgh.#idk if its the paranoia anxiety of animal sounds in my ceiling again finally catching up to me but im srs like.#almost starting 2 cry right now and im not even LISTENING to the episode.#thought abojt david kaufman again. fuck . part of me is like god i need 2 go listen to his lines again but the other part of me is like.#no mac you have work jn the morning and youre ALREADY not gonna grt enough sleep due to the fucking animals in your ceiling.#head in hands. we need 2 dismantle capitalist society so i can spend the next 24 hours fucking weeping over william wisp.#then maybe ill get my thoughts in order enough to actually write about him#having soioooooo many blood and gore thoughts about [redacted for spoilers] . i havent seen ANY art of it#except one like. vague abstract thing. whcih was awesome dont get me wrong. but i want 2 see something visceral.#and im not good enough at blood and gore to do it myself . plus ive burnt myself out so hard on the painting projects.#and im still not DONE with them#ughhhghgh. anyway. on 24/7 wiwi lockdown ovwr here
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love it when I have random ass dizzy spells. super fun
#bats squeaks#/sarcasm#last time it happened was 6 months ago? almost to the day#it lasted fucking. 7 hours#so hopefully i'll be fine by morning this time
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got home and started crying because i had to walk home in below freezing temps and broke down and asked my parents to send me my car instead of selling it.
#they told me i don’t have to pay the $6k back which is obviously very generous and i am grateful but im also very wary that they are going#to use this against me in the future. I am making them promise not to but. they’re my parents so. not hopeful#having a bad week lads#this was my 11th shift in 12 days and they were all over 8 hours#for context my mom offered this to me this morning. i NEVER would have asked for it if she hadn’t offered#I also made her promise not to tell my piece of shit sister bc she ALREADY thinks of me as some lazy greedy leech because ive needed help#from my parents bc im mentally fucking ill#also i am not going to be able to eat dinner tonight because it’s too late and i will be in so much pain if i eat and try to lay down and i#can’t eat and stay up for 2-3 hours before laying down bc I have to go in early tomorrow#im feeling paranoid that someone is going to read this and think im sooo spoiled and taking help for granted but i have spent the last 7#years being almost completely financially dependent on my parents for reasons outside of my control and the shame and guilt and manipulation#of it all has worn me down to almost nothing#so me accepting this help comes with the knowledge that i am probably going to be made to feel absolutely worthless for a long time and im#in a position where i can’t really afford to say no
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I was like hell yeah I'll finish the comic tonight! but then it took me half an hour to do the hair for 4 panels, two of which barely had any hair to even paint...
#and thats just time spent painting not even breaks 😭#its already almost 7:30 and I can't stay up into the wee hours of the morning again painting I actually have work tomorrow 😭#and I'm sooo eepy I haven't been sleeping a lot the last few days#remember that time I spent like 14 hours straight just painting in order to finish a wwx comic by his bday#and I fucked up my wrist for like a week#yeah...#ghost posts#text
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Imagine waking up to new bot followers, and one of them has your exs first and last name. 👀 😐
#good morning#didnt plan on starting the day feeling that anxious#like ive kept this tumblr hidden for almost 12 years#had me fucked up at 7:30am 😅#me
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tumblr how to remove tumblr live from my little menu in mobile. pls kill him (pointing at camera icon)
#arvenposting#i don’t like it. also it’s almost 7 am I need sleep#I’m tired! I got a nice snack for me I just gotta be tucked in and cozy#I hope my dogs are happy (mine here and Mabosstiff I miss him)#I hope I have like not fucked up dreams when I sleep#not entirely a risk but it’s always there#why am I rambling lmao good morning and good night?????
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sometimes i think someone literally ripping out my intestines would be less painful than what my fucking body puts me through on a weekly basis
#anyway this isn’t Normal Pain#this is Special Pain#and tbh it’s fucking scary!#almost had my dad take me directly to the hospital at 4am this morning bc i was in so much pain i couldn’t stop crying#but i also literally could not leave the bathroom#fell alseep again around 6am and woke up again about 9#pain had gone down from an 8 (9 is ‘oh shit get me to the hospital NOW’ pain)#to like a 3 so after having my friend exhaust all other options i agreed to take thier four hour shift#pain went back up to like a 4 or 5 but was survivable and i didn’t have anything left to purge from my body by then#just got home about half an hour ago and pain is back up to like a 6 or 7#i would very much like to be Unconscious right now#personal#health
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Honestly I think I deserve a metal for not going across the street and fucking up every chair in the administrative office of this Christan school of Pricks!!!. INCLUDING THE PRINCIPAL!!!
#might delete later#FUCK DRUM CIRCLE AND YELLING AT 7 OCLOCK IN THE MORNING!!!#FOR ALMOST AN HOUR NOW!!!#and NO ONE in the office is answering the phone when I call
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