#it's all so complex and yummy i want to EAT it

[brionysea]

love this shot. it's like mike is inviting them into his mind/game ("alright, wheeler, i think we found your hub") + max and dustin are the ones who step into frame. i am staring at the implications

[these-posts-arent-real]

(masterpost link)

Aaand we have returned to the madness on a larger scale! What are these cats up to...

#sighh #i know i've been away from dash sim posting for a while #was dealing with my last few days of school #but #that is Over Now #i can return to fulfilling everyone's need for Warrior Cats But Tumblr

57 notes

🐦 s3afow1s--sc0wl Follow

PLEASE stop talking about the most recent TTDV slates without spoilers, it hasn't made its rounds to ShadowClan yet and I don't want to know what's going to happen before I read it!!!!

#ttdv discussion #ttdv:rp #through the desert vast #ttdv: rattlesnake path #ttdv #through the desert vast: rattlesnake path #especially since i heard the newest slates have seafowl in them a lot #he's my specialest guy...

9 notes

🔁 🛤 carnation-stem-02 reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

I think the worst thing about no longer being a Clan cat is that a lot of the time I have no idea what y'all over there are talking about. What is TTDV?

🦁 lionsight-x3 Follow

TTDV stands for Through the Desert Vast. It's a new slate series everyone's going bee-brained over... I haven't read it yet because I prefer for a series to be finished before reading, but I've heard good things. Queer rep within the first couple chapters of the first slate-set, a non-traditional setting and cast (a rogue group living in the desert), and complex characters... needless to say I'm excited for when it finishes and I can read it!

#it's been on my to-read list for a while #maybe this is a sign #it seems pretty cool #ttdv

2,070 notes

🔁 🐦 s3afow1s--sc0wl reblogged

⛰️ fc-rockpaint Follow

In honor of Through the Desert Vast becoming popular, I've decided to make a rock-dye project on all of the main characters. Today's character is... Seafowl!

Unfortunately I don't have the right paints to portray him accurately (I haven't been able to find any white herbs for his patches, but I'm still on the lookout!) but this is mostly accurate to how he is described in the slates.

🌠 nightshade-tast3s-yummy Follow

Pssst... @s3afow1s--sc0wl

#eeeek! seafowl! #i looove him so much... my precious boy... #art #ttdv #ttdv seafowl #thanks for the tag!

162 notes

🔁 🌻 l1llyst3m reblogged

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Aahhhh I've finally gotten into TTDV and... NOBODY was gonna tellme that one of the characters is heavily implied to be transfem? Nobody thought I'd find this interesting????

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

SCRATCH THAT. IT'S CANON. PIT VIPER IS CANONICALLY TRANS.

🐚 hermitcrabfriend Follow

I had wondered if you were talking about Pit Viper when I saw this post a cople days ago! Apparently so ^w^ yeah, it's canon, gets confirmed in the second slate set.

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

This makes me wonder. Why is everyone on this site talking about Seafowl saying he gives "egg vibes" when we have. An actual confirmed trans character. Right here.

Nothing against Seafowl but the only vibe he gives off to me is traumatized.

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

He's your typical prettyboy cishet protagonist type and everyone is pissed off that he's a side character rather than ttdv's ✨️specialest boy✨️. So they're trying to make him special by claiming he gives off trans vibes when he clearly does not and is happy as a tom.

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

#wait till op reads rattlesnake path

What do you mean by that-

#what do you MEAN by that— #im gonna need context #is this /pos or /neg #does something bad happen in rattlesnake path?? #help someone pls #through the desert vast #ttdv

103 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🥬 rxttencatmint

Im so fucking irritated... my mom wont let me read TTDV because it's "inApPrOpRiAtE." Which. Of course. Is because it has lgbtqia+ characters.

🥬 rxttencatmint

WONDEDFUL NEWS. MY MENTOR LET ME BORROW HIS COPY OF THE FIRST SET. AHHHHH!!!!! I GET TO READ IT!!

#YIPPEEEEE #òwó im so exCITED!!! #ive been wanting to read ttdv for a whileee #i love my mentor sm

5 notes

🪵 i-eat-moss Follow

My unpopular opinion (TTDV:RP SPOILERS INCOMING)

Keep reading

#ttdv:rp #ttdv #rattlesnake path spoilers #ttdv spoilers #ttdv:rp spoilers #nothing against pit viper!!! #i like her as a character #i just dont get why we got a whole book explaining her backstory

203 notes

🐚 hermitcrabfriend Follow

I LOOOOVE RATTLESNAKE PATH SO MUCH. IVE JUST GOTTEN TO READ IT AND IM SO EXCITED. OMG.

Not only is it a whole set dedicated to my favorite character !!! like a dream come true!!! It ALSO contains good intersex rep (Ball Python my beloved!!!). Over all just a FANTASTIC set in a fantastic series.

12 notes

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

I'm... back?? I'M BACK ON CLANBLR!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO

#i thought i'd never get back #stuck on Tumblr...

0 notes

🍽 the-post-maker

I hope y'all enjoyed this insight into what the cats do when they get fandom-y... and if you want to discuss TtDV further... well, there's a server for that ;) now back to your regular dash

[bambiesfics]

do u have any headcanons for loser ellie? <3

Sorry if these arent as yummy, I just woke up and I’m so eepy. But these are what I could think up <3 This is such a random collection of thoughts but!

- I think Ellie has a red Coca-Cola themed mini fridge in her room where she stores monster energy drinks and her elf bars so they pull cool when she smokes them.

- She has a vision of -2.00 in one eye and -2.50 in the other eye, but hates putting on her glasses because she’s afraid it makes her look nerdier than she already is.

- She doesn’t use conditioner, only shampoo. And when girls at school flirt with her and ask how her hair is so soft she just tugs on a tiny lock of it and awkwardly tries to avoid eye contact. “Uh-I uh…I dunno. Do you think it’s soft?”

- She falls in love fast, and hard. An absolute master at obsessing over someone so much so that thinking about her crush at night time has been her favorite mechanism to fall asleep at since she was in middle school.

- She owns like 4 pairs of converses and only one pair of doc martens. She still winces thinking about the amount she spent on those. She’s had the same shoe size since she was in middle school so all her converses are beat up.

- Her preferred method of masturbating is angrily fingering herself and she usually does it with a pillow over her head. She’s always pissed after, she doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because of the sudden dopamine drop from her nut. Or maybe it’s because she’s tired of imagining fucking the same girls she can’t have & who will never want her back. There’s only so many times she can imagine eating a pretty girl’s butt until they squirt on her glasses before she starts getting pissed that it isn’t actually happening, mid-masturbation sesh. She grinds her g-spot until she cums, lazily rinses her hands, and just lies face down on her pillow in a stiff plank position.

- She listens to 40 year old dad rock the most. Think Aerosmith, Depeche mode, Papa roach, Deftones (she has a complex about that) and Alice in Chains. She’d slowly built up a collection of her most loved songs since she was 12 years old. So all her favourite bands and artists are a collection of music she holds near and dear to her heart. Don’t don’t even try it though, it doesn’t matter if you listen to those bands too, you cannot suggest one North American song to Ellie that she hasn’t already heard of. She’ll always know more music than you, even though her Spotify music obscurity rating is like top 6%

- She oddly knows more pop songs than you too. Even though she doesn’t listen to them nearly as much.

- She has slight ringing in her left ear from how loud she usually blasts her headphones at night. Sometimes when the noise really pisses her off, she leaps off her bed and loads up her playstation instead. Which then lead to 10am’s the very next day where her eye bags are a deep purple and she walks through the halls like a freckled ghoul.

- she uses the broken skateboard she used to skate when she was 17, as decoration in the corner for her room.

- she has 17 Etsy bookmarks saved from different tarot love spell practitioners. One time she dm’d one and just went into very scary explicit detail about how she wanted you to notice her, where the scene would be, what she’d be wearing, the first time you’d let her give you head, the fact that you’d be ovulating (that one was really important), and what type of pregnancy cravings you’d have when the inevitable happened and she married you (you weirdly had cravings for her current fav snacks: snickers and carton almond milk).

- she also knows she’s a loser. Scarily self aware girl.

- One time her and her counsellor just stared at each other, and blinked back and forth the entire sesh.

[deathmetalunicorn1]

can i ask for child reader that has a sensitive constitution? like they have to be careful with the things they feed the reader because it could make them sick, but now they want to make something different for them except for the fact that they dont know what to give them without harming the reader. so hades, brunhilde, heracles, eve and adam are all like arguing about what to make for food while the reader is pouting, clueless about their bickering because theyre hungry and just want to eat but still getting nothing, so in the end buddha and loki end up giving them the same simple snacks, and the others just kind of sigh and try harder next time !

-You had always had a sensitive constitution; your stomach couldn’t handle anything too complex or heavily seasoned without upsetting your stomach and making you sick.

-Your adoptive family was up to the challenge, and they were willing to do their homework and research on what you could and couldn’t handle, unlike your previous foster families who just saw it as you being picky or found it too much of a hassle to make more than one meal, rather than accommodating you.

-It was a process, mostly with trial and error, learning what you could stomach easily and what was a no-go, but unlike your previous families, they never made you feel like a burden.

-They would hold you if you got sick, clean you up if you got messy, and they would comfort you, calming you down.

-Your family wanted to include you with anything they could, like preparing the meals, showing you what was going into every dish, and even having you help making food- which you did enjoy. It was so much fun for you to learn what went into cooking!

-There were certain members of your family who think they knew what was best for you- knowing what foods you could handle, and didn’t want to branch you out, with the hopes your constitution would get better with slow introductions to new things, that was the other side of your family, who wanted to slowly get you trying new things.

-This left you on the sidelines sometimes, while they were arguing, hungry and just wanting a snack, something small so you wouldn’t spoil your dinner, and they were arguing over what to give you.

-You pouted lightly before a pair of hands grabbed you, picking you up and you looked up, seeing Buddha holding you, a grin on his lips before Loki popped up next to him and the three of you snuck away.

-Buddha could tell you were getting cranky because you needed a snack, and Loki knew that with everyone else arguing, you wouldn’t get a snack in time and would have to wait for dinner.

-After the argument died down, after they saw you gone, they found you, Loki, and Buddha, trying the different types of Teddy Grahams.

-It was simple and gentle on your stomach, but it was also letting you try new flavors, you smiled at Loki, “These apple ones are yummy!” as you held one up to him, feeding him before Buddha pouted, “I want one too~” which made you laugh.

-Your family relaxed, entering the dining room to join the three of you, seeing that it was good for you to try new things, in moderation.

[fragmentedlegends]

Different cooking styles of the muses—

Astor: The best way to describe it is elegant? Akin to food served in fine dining, Astor likes to take his time with proper brining, seasonings, particular cuts of meat, plating, etc. Everything he does is very intentional and builds off his knowledge of food and cooking.

Ganondorf: Efficient. While Ganondorf has the knowledge and ability to cook, he prefers to spend his time elsewhere. So if he is cooking, it’s to fuel and sustain. Expect a one pot meal that’s packed with protein and spices.

Rhoam: Camp-style. Most of his cooking days were spent in the army and it shows in what he likes to cook with lots of simple, but yummy, recipes. He loves cooking with fresh protein and produce most.

Sonia: Cozy. She’s one for cooking soups, porridge, pudding, rice and chicken dishes—the sort of thing you would want to eat after coming in from a cold rain. As a midwife, she always had fresh sweet rice porridge ready for the new mama to enjoy post-birth.

Revali: Simple. He never really learned to do any complex meals himself. He knows some standard basics and just rotates between them, things like easy stews, rice paired with a simply seasoned protein, etc.

Link: Mobile just deleted the entire section for this so rather than type it all back out I will simply say—he’s an amazing cook and he’ll cook whatever sounds tasty regardless of how inconvenient it may be.

[doostyaudi]

❤️‍🔥Hello Everyone!!❤️‍🔥

❤️‍🔥My name is Dusty/Yara/Audi, though most call me Dusty. Idc which one u use

❤️‍🔥Adult

❤️‍🔥Bisexual, genderfluid/genderqueer

❤️‍🔥Any pronouns (masc terms)

❤️‍🔥ADHD, NPD

❤️‍🔥I draw and animate! I especially love to make animation memes!

❤️‍🔥Im a shadow demon cat irl :3 🐈🔥

❤️‍🔥Goth

❤️‍🔥 Furry (post of my fursonas :3)

❤️‍🔥I love silly kitties!

❤️‍🔥I make lots of oc x canon content lol

❤️‍🔥 ACAB

❤️‍🔥FREE PALESTINE (list of resources to aid Palestine)

❤️‍🔥Anti-capitalist

💖Media im obsessed with💖

Madness combat, Warframe, Dead Space, Pikmin, Pokémon, Ultrakill

💖Honorable mentions💖

Lupin the 3rd,dungeon meshi, Monster High, local 58, star wars, what we do in the shadows, mst3k, marine biology, paleontology, repo:the genetic opera, Hamilton, cryptids, the amazing digital circus, bugbo, Steven Universe, the owl house, gravity falls, rock band (the game), tf2, welcome home, doom

{Will update when i remember things}

💖Types of media i enjoy💖

Horror movies/games (YUMMY), violent video games, rpgs, rhythm games, comedy games/movies/tv shows, memes, stories with complex themes and lots of nuance :3 (what i write mostly LOL), hashtag music lover

💖Current kin list💖

❤️‍🔥Auditor (madness combat)❤️‍🔥

🩵Louie (pikmin)🩵

🩷Spinel (Steven universe)🩷

{can you tell which one i have clinged onto the most? LOL}

❤️‍🔥Common questions that need to be answered❤️‍🔥

Q: "how can I use your works? (art, characters, stories, ect)"

A: however you want! Everything of mine is copyright free! It's all in the public domain! Literally do whatever u want. Hell, you can even put my art on merch and sell it! Dont even have to give credit! Just as long as u don't say the art is yours, we r cool, alr? Also yes u can trace my art too, thought i should say that. U can take inspiration from my art and ocs, unless stated otherwise. Also DONT REDESIGN MY OCS PLEASE u only get to do so if i give u direct permission, though if u do, keep it to urself

Q: "Will you ever open commissions?"

A: im not sure honestly?? Like i said everything of my is public domain, and i would like for that to apply commissions, but idk how that works legally, so i haven't opened them.

Q: "why don't you ever reply to comments?"

A: I cant. Be shadowbanned prevents me from replaying to comments. Granted, this acc isn't, but two of my accs r, and that includes my main, so that has effected my commenting abilities.

Q: "can i draw your ocs?"

A: YES PWEASE i eat any and all fan art up like a starving Victorian child.

Q: "is your drawing requests open?"

A: yes! I am most likely going to draw ones that are abt my ocs or characters im currently obsessed with lol

Q: "is spam liking/reblogging allowed?"

A: allowed and encouraged!

❌DNI❌

Transphobs, homophobs, bigots, terfs, maps, zoophiles, pro shippers, nazis, fascists, zenoists, partake in cringe culture, anti furry, exclusionists, redesign ppls ocs (nuances apply), associate urself/interact with yandere content, break the boundaries of content creators, and Narcissistic abuse truthers

Anyways, have fun!

Additional links: YouTube, artfight, old acc, twiddlefinger side blog

[snorlaxlovesme]

For the ask meme:

41) Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

66) What’s a fun fact about let me do this for you?

68) Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

74) Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

(You don't have to answer them all if you don't have the wherewithal I just love asking questions to writers!!)

smooch smooch smoochsmoochsmooch LC you know I love you and you know I love talking about writing

41. Who's your favorite character you've written?

like, OBVIOUSLY Soul or Maka otherwise I wouldn't have dedicated the past like ten years of my life writing for Soul Eater. but a secret third option? Hagakure from My Hero Academia. probably because Horikoshi gave me absolutely NOTHING to work with besides "girl who is constantly invisible and wants to be hero" so I got to come up with everything else for her on my own. and since I can't think of a single 15 year old girl on the planet that would be comfortable with fighting naked while everyone else was clothed, invisible or not, I gave her a complex about it. and it's a pretty rad fic if I do say so myself. [x] i

66. What's a fun fact about let me do this for you? [x]

the long-lost soup recipe was inspired by a couple different things! there's an episode of Spy x Family where Yor is trying to learn to cook for her fake family and a co-worker tries to teach her how to make a stew, I think. at the end of the cooking process her co-worker asks Yor where she's from and deduces that the region where she lives probably adds sour cream into the stew, and when Yor and her brother taste it it brings back memories of their childhood. i had a similar experience 2 years ago when i went to Chicago. we went to a fancy restaurant and by total coincidence the mashed potatoes I got as a side dish tasted EXACTLY like how my grandmother used to make them. when i was a kid we'd always have Christmas and Easter at my grandma's house and her mashed potatoes were different from how my parents made them and they were SO yummy. she passed away in 2015 so being able to eat what felt exactly like her cooking in 2022 felt really special. those kind of things reminded me just how special home-cooking is, and how taste can trigger memories. i thought it would be comforting for Cheng Xiaoshi to have a memory food like that, that he really wished to taste again, and to have Qiao Ling love her brother enough to attempt to make it over and over again so he can experience that kind of warmth again. and honest to god, hand on the Bible, i had not watched s1 in a while and had COMPLETELY forgotten about the noodle lesbians and didn't know that i was subliminally channeling a plot Link Click had already used LMAO

68. Are there any fics that inspired you to write the way you do?

that's hard to pin down since I don't have even really have a definitive writing style, really. if you look at the work I used to put out in the 2010s, it's mostly snappy sitcom-style romantic comedy things (which I would say was largely influenced by the Soul Eater fandom as a whole and Bittersweet Romanticide's [x] many many excellent Pokemon one-shots and longfics. those were my core texts when I started writing fanfiction so my earlier style comes from them I'm sure. nowadays? i think maybe since being in the TRC fandom I've switched up my style to be a bit more prose-heavy. that's more Maggie Stiefvater's influence than anything, since I've taken like four of her writing courses. i've been able to flesh out ideas better and have been more intentional with my pacing since learning from Stief

74. Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

no matter how many times i reblogged it, you'd come over, right? [x] was chronically ignored and that remains one of life's greatest tragedies it's a TRC pynch one-shot that takes place in the middle of the end of the world. apocalypse NOW, RIGHT NOW, truly. but ironically despite the fire and brimstone raining down, it's more of a backdrop to the emotional turmoil Ronan is going through, as he experiences the end of days alone. (angst with a happy ending, though, soooooooo. it deserves to be read. it is very good. )

[carmenized-onions]

alright yo!! I gotta do this while it’s hot and fresh! I just read ch 11 and BRO, I didn’t know what was gonna happen cause I don’t think lmao but GOD was this ch soooooo good. (and yes good, i’m a it hurts so good type of BITCH so believe me when I say youve MASTERED THAT FUCKING GENRE AND I WOULD EAT YOUR WRITING IF I COULD 🥹🥹)

i could genuinely go on for days and days about how good— no fuck it, GREAT, your writing is but for times sake i’ll say this, it AMAZES me how fucking ughhhh, on the nail your writing is for each of these characters,,, like like richie??? oh you’ve got richie down!! and carmen (meanie carmen who hurt tony’s feelings and possibly broke her heart just now 🥹) i mean of course you got carmen down, but syd?? you both make her possible to envision saying and acting these ways while also showing her in this new light, a best friend type of light like how would she ride for the ones she loves type of light? and a i’m just a girlllll in the worldddddd with my bestie type of light like you ATE TS ALLLLLL THE WAY UP 😭

anyways i’ll give you my play by play notes i took while reading cause they speak for themselves lmao:

- fuckkkkk their writing is so fucking good

- they got richie’s character down so fucking OMG

- DONT YOY DARE SAY THAT TO RICHIE!!!

- and don’t you DARE say that to chippie!!!!!!! 😠🔪🔪

- how tf have they mastered the art of making not only real characters but REAL moving relationships in their writing and omg i’m gonna fucking cry bro

- also why’s tony’s character like me?? but also someone i want to be ?? but also someone i want to deeply tend and care for?? ugh the COMPLEXITIES 😭😭

- lowkey so much more interested in tony’s character and how it interacts with carmys (and truly everyone’s but syd n richie r my fav) versus his character on his own and its not cause his character writing isn’t good, MY GOD ITS IMMACULATE and feels so RIGHT but they really put their foot in the curation of tony’s character and world that im so HOOKED

- and don’t get me fucking sSTARTED on syd and tony’s relationship like????

- inky?????

- squid????

- we are just two girlssssss living in this worlddddd

- wowwwww i wish i had real life versions of richie n syd as my friends cause it’s giving we are girlbosses but also tender hearts club?? iykyk🤞🏽

- i would quite literally cry and die over this series a million times over and probably already do when i think about it but i wish i didn’t just finish that chapter cause i so so so SO selfishly NEED MOREEEEE 😖😖

~~~

ANYWAYSSSSS this series is quite literally the cake frosting and cherry on top to my fucking life rn and your world building is so great i live in it even when it’s being built still and we’re all waiting for you to drop another one of your deliciously written chaps. i’m so grateful to have found this lil side of the internet you exist in and thank you for supplying us with this consistent dose of yumminess!!

thanks for listening to me absolutely YAP and just know if voice memos was a thing you’d probably be receiving 15 minutes worth of me yapping so count your blessings todayyyy!!!

ALSO ALSO PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE ADD ME TO THE TAG LIST 🥹🥹🫶🏽

luv uuuuuuuu n keep being great 💐

THANK YOU FOR SAYING I'VE MASTERED THE HURT GENRE-- I also like the hurt, I was worried i didn't get the hurty enough. I'm glad everyone went "i'm so hurt" after reading 10/11, I did hurty all of you. my bad.

This is just gonna be a lot of me saying thank you over and over, but THANK YOU! I try very hard to nail these characters. I think there's fully notes in my drafts saying "HE HAS TO DO THAT. IT'S GONNA FUCKING SUCK TO WRITE BUT IT'S WHAT HE'D DO SO HE HAS TO DO THAT" Everyone that thinks I'm a cool good writer would throw up if they saw what the draft looks like LMAO.

Syd's been very fun for me to write, because with Richie/Carmen I think in canon we've seen enough of them handling friendships/partners to understand how they work in those dynamics-- But Syd does not have girlfriends. Like that bitch has no one. I'm so broken about this. So envisioning how she'd work in that dynamic while still being herself has been very fun for me. Based on the way she acts in Season 3, I think I got it p down. She's a witty fun gworl who's also a bad bitch who also has anxiety. I love her.

IN YOUR NOTES, I REALLY AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR YOU WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT TONY IN THIS UNIVERSE. I really did stick my fucking foot in implementing her in everything lmao. She's SO carved in. Which I love-- Apparently Carmen hates that but i love. I could smooch tony so much better frfr.

Richie/Syd/Chip have been genuinely my favourite trio dynamic to write for. Everytime it's been Carmen/Syd/Chip he has a tendency to just shut the fuck up because he's very wallflowery-- I love that Richie will interject without even a percent of hesitation. I love my yapping father. I love how he just be talkin.

I HOPE YOU LIKED THE CHAPTER AFTER THIS ONE TOO!! Something to Do was a doozy and this next one is . i'm not gonna say anything except i. am . sorry....

AND ADDED TO THE TAGLIST YEEHAW THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS IT MAKES MY GDANG DAY SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO GET TO RESPONDING !!!

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Trope Grading Game

Thank you for the tags @aristocratic-otter and @artsyunderstudy! I really love hearing what y’all are into and why.

Rules: How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

+10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

So the short answer is 0 for everything because I don’t read tags anymore because they never affected my choice to read a story the way a summary, snippet, rec or author gushing about their work would. But! even choosing with these methods the tropes bleed through so here are my rankings

Age gap: -1

I’m not opposed to it per se, I just don’t see the appeal. I just finished a book with side characters in a relationship with a big age gap and I tried to be open minded but it creeped me out a bit. Although I did write Baz as a 200 year old vampire so I guess there’s that! 😅

Codependency: +5

Yeah, give me two people leaning on each other. I think we suffer in silence too much. I think we need human connection. Gimme two people who aren’t afraid to ask for what they want. Yeah sure, it can be problematic but mostly I think it’s nice.

Obsession/possessiveness, jealousy: +5

I fucking love possessive Simon. Sometimes this trope isn’t done well in other stories but with Snowbaz I eat that shit up.

Opposites (grumpy/sunshine etc): +8

I looooove it. Working past your stereotypes? Becoming more open minded? Seeing someone on a deeper level? Grabby hands

Enemies to lovers, Enemies with benefits: +8

This is the majority of Snowbaz so obviously, yes. Sometimes I’m not a fan outside the fandom, but here it’s so good. And enemies with benefits??? Please. Cue me foaming at the mouth reading Restoration Ecology by @captain-aralias or it’s fabulous remix by @royalasstronaut.

Friends with benefits: +8

Yes please. As long as there’s some deep feelings involved, even if they come later, I’m there. And often with friendship you’ve got the platonic love there that sometimes builds to more so yes. More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl is an EXCELLENT example of this where they are just pining idiots from day 1 and I’m obsessed.

Sex to feelings: +10

FUCK YES. I will take it every time. I love sex, I love a good slow burn, I love sex with feelings. Make them earn it? PLEASE. Someone Wicked does this so well. @artsyunderstudy is the queen of sex with feelings.

Fake dating/relationship: +8

Yup, this is a goodie. even just fake friendship a la RWRB. Lovely. But yeah when their dating and they gotta kiss to sell it? And the other thinks they are faking but really that’s how they feel? Mmm hmm. Yummy.

Friends to lovers: +10

Y’all know this is my thing. I’ve written it several times. They love each other SO MUCH but they are too afraid to ruin their friendship so they feel they can’t make a move. The angst is right there and I love it.

Found family: +1

This can be great, but if that’s the whole premise I might pass. Fluff can be fun but if that’s all there is, I usually pass. But! If this is a theme in a longer fic with more complex plot? Then it can be really good.

Hurt/comfort: +1

Idk why but I associate this tag with shorter fics that just doesn’t actually hit that hard. Like, the hurt is little and immediately followed by the comfort. Give me the BIG angst. Hurt me good before you make it better. I looooove angst with a happy ending. So if that’s what we are doing then give it to me good.

Love triangle: -3

Meh. I always feel bad for the odd one out. I don’t like seeing the pining and angst without the pay out. And usually this is how it goes. If the third person is an asshole you just have to nudge out of the way, then maybe.

Poly, open relationship: -3

I’m actually quite curious about this and I bet it can be done right, but I usually go for a single OTP. Give me your recs though, I’d love to be convinced otherwise.

Mistaken/hidden identity: +10

Hell yes. They didn’t know it was that person all along? And they fell for them anyways? Fantastic. Even better is when they fall for the same person twice. Both hidden and not. And then! All is revealed and it’s the same person! Think love letters from a secret admirer, masquerade, etc. I mean there’s a reason network connectivity problems is the highest kudosed fic in the fandom.

Monsterfucking: +10

And bless this fandom for introducing me to it and going whole hog with our boys and their monster parts.

Pregnancy: -3

Been there, done that, don’t find it sexy. There’s some good mpreg fics in this fandom though so there are exceptions! Orange Juice by @orange-peony is a GREAT one that I really adored. This fandom just really delivers in any area.

Second chance: +9

Yes please! Unless own person is truly awful and doesn’t deserve it, but typically I love someone getting a chance to try and learn from their mistakes and try again. Don’t we all wish we could have a second chance at something?

Slow burn: +10

ITS SO SATISFYING! The payoff is so good after they’ve worked for it. My favorite.

Soulmates: +1

I love when characters can choose each other despite their destiny. I need conflict. I don’t know if I’ve read any Snowbaz ones. I think because I like them at odds and assume they won’t be. @artsyunderstudy is giving me recs to help me see the light LOL.

Who hasn’t done this? Tagging those above who haven’t done it plus a few more, if you’re up for it @whogaveyoupermission @iamamythologicalcreature @facewithoutheart @bookish-bogwitch @cutestkilla @thewholelemon @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @raenestee @valeffelees

[msmattea]

i’m at work on my breakand i can’t help but spiral about the complexities of moving this fall. life is so sacred, delicate and fragile. one great thing is that there are many beginnings, and the power of going back is just moving forward trying to not make the same mistakes again; holding back on fear's accord. is this opportunity to move a sign from god? a hint to take the jump? every time i close my eyes and envision myself moving i get almost clouded with my own anxieties, like a big sister trying to get her photo taken but the thumb of whoever is taking the photo (let it be god?) keeps getting in the way. i don’t want fear to be a reason to hold back, but more so of a reason to jump.

i texted my dad i loved him on my 15. all he said back was “hurry home.” it makes me want to go fuck myself. when i am met with thr dismissal of my compulsive burps of “i love you” i can’t help but turn back into that 5-year-old girl, doing everything in her gaze to get daddy’s validation. love from my father has always felt like work. that’s a fact, with no judgment attached. my father is more than 4 times my age, meeting us at the rip age of 60. his generation was taught the importance of being seen, rather than being heard. i understand him, and i love him unconditionally. something i was born with; this inherit need to not only be loved but constantly love him. i texted back, "i'm at work till 4:30, i already told you." hoping that the period properly showed my passiveness. his reply was "i know it's just that every minute you're away from me burns a hole in my heart." i giggled as i read this on my rush to my car through the store.

im currently home from work, i got home about three hours ago. i haven't done any homework yet, and i am still here procrastinating on getting two major assignments done for class. i am also on the toilet, contiplaiting if i should order ramen. if i should break my 24 hour fast for some celebratory and motivating veggie noodles floating in a flavorful lake of broth. ramen that i am trying to convince myself, is brain food. the only thing; the laxatives have been causing me to shit constantly all day. i wonder if i should give my stomach a break? or fuel it with good foods; steamed broccoli, vegatable broth, and tofu for protein. mmmmmmm. ahhh sounds yummy. my go to comfort meal; instantly bringing me back to the emotional release of being in 71st Street Ramen, in a corner booth with Emerson and Basil. okay then, its official i am going to order the ramen.

that makes me think of another thing, especally in my desire to regain control (by releasing control LOL funny how that works. that the balance is finding peace in the things that you can control, and submitting to what you can't) of my life; i need to regain control of my eating habits. i don't know what happened. it saddens me that i have allowed myself to let this go on for as long as it has. maybe its just being home. maybe its the depression of watching my mother slowly die. maybe its the Florida street weed intensifying my cravings to the ripest extent. maybe its the addicition to guilt or the need to shame and give myself reasons to be a bitch to myself. maybe its because i can't cope without food, mainly triggered by a 2 day fast followed by getting increasingly high with Florida street weed and cleaning the pantry from every cookie in the jar. following that, i will swallow pills - not only to help the bloat but to help pass what i just swallowed down. i think i've become addicted. not i think, i know.

one thing that has released and pushed my habit to the healtheir level, is binge eating with fruits, steamed brocalli, eggs and hit sauce, high protein bars, oatmeal, dried fruits, nuts, and usually waffles drentched in butter and warm honey (my fucking favorite high snack, fucking fuck, i can't describe how good it is other than a dance of sweet and savory - but natural, almost timeless in my devorar. its also just waffles with butter, and honey, but let me dress it up.) binging with heathlier food ; food of actual sustinance. food that gives you nutrients. foods that benfit me and my body. carrots for my eyes, chia seeds and oatmeal for fiber, etc.. food that makes you just wanna play that video from the early 2010s of that redhead kid who was on The Ellen Show, the enbodiement of that redhead kid going,theres nothing like a nice slice of pizza to recharge your batteries, but instead of pizza its this warm honey waffle, and nuts, with dried tart cherries, and brownie protein bars. the guilt is somehow ridden. i feel slightly more responsible as a parent to myself. im the mom who feeds her daughter only the best, organic bullshit. now this means im ready for the next step; no binging period. and remianing in a deficit! eating a healthy amount, at healthy times, with healthy outcomes (if you get my drift) no need for laxatives. full trust in me, and my body. in my bodies ability to regulate, and be beautiful in her performance. she's ready. im ready.

time to talk about the start of my day:

when i woke up this morning i took a bowl of weed, and dozed off half dreaming about a different time with Khalil - this time 2 years into the future; living together. again with the could'ves. i don't think its shameful to wonder if he still thinks about me, corny maybe, but not shameful. at least im not allowing myself to be ashamed of what i feel. i could just be craving a connection, a snese of unrelenting intimacy. he would be a really good distraction right now.

ill finish this entry with telling you about work and the present moment (besides the ordering of my veggie tofu ramen, the memory of my two soulmates.) other than daydreaming about Khalil, I got dressed, took my meds (b12,collagen,glutamine,spiralactone,dustersiteride-or however you fucking spell it-zinc,vitaminC,womensmultivitamine,cherryroot,tumeric,milkthistle,beefliver,and a probiotic), had a cup of black coffee accompanied by a jounral session with god and my mom, showering myself with affirmations, trying to convicne myself that i can somehow make something out of the day. i went to work.

work was work. work was busy. work is always busy on a saturday. i was bloated the whole shift, from my binge the night prior or maybe the irritation of the laxatives, and my feet kept blistering from the fresh pair of mary jane flats i impuslivly purchased and wore today. i thought that they looked cute with my baggy jeans. beauty is pain, pretend im eye rolling. no actually don't pretend, know for a fact that i am eye rolling. i don't think beauty is motherfucking pain, mainly because i feel my most beautful self when i am the most unresticted, unbound by the idea of what my beauty should be measured by; pain. beauty is feeling unbound in a flowing linen dress. beauty is the dance of my hair, the daily movement she offers around me. let me not get distracted. okay work. well work was work, like i said. i did my usual; shelved books, answered phones, looked for cute coustmers to help, and of course took my breaks. i never forget a break, especially if they pay us for it. thank you, thank you, thank you. i then got a large three shot americano from the cafe, in hopes to pass whatever is left in my bowels for my ride home. i drank half and might save the rest for tomorrow morning. something tells me that i will be up very late maybe even into the morning trying to get my homeowork done. ill start after the ramen which should be here any minute. currently, however, im debating whether or not the ramen im about to fuel on is going to help aid or hinder that process. regardless, im optimistic that the nutirion and protien will help bring back the life in my face. i trust my bodies ability to metabolise fast, and regulate itself. i release the worry of food hurting me!!!! im gooing to go eat.

xx

mattea

[baylardo]

i love threshold au as a babyfic (BARELY) with plot. its got all the right adverse elements for me and then i dont even gotta deal with pr*gnancy stuff it already HAPPENED haha.

its just got that yummy miserable combination of kathryn having wanted to be a mother and achieving it but at the cost that shes now been unfaithful to Mark. in some strange way. :) and her children very much represent that falter in her resolve. and I LIKE TO THINK that a part of her hyperevolved self knew exactly what she was doing. (you kinda get that impression at the end of Threshold from what she says about her initiating things) and her now and after the fact, havaing a vague sense and lingering awareness of what she did and that she wanted them. AND i dont think shed ever admit that to anyone, and is why she keeps her distance from her babies its like a HUUUUUGE guilt complex and she’s punishing herself for caving in a little bit. theres also obviously the TRANSFORMATION aspect of the au as well but i think what really eats at her the most in SEASON TWO is the former. but also theyre weird lizard babies and she can instinctively understand their moods and chirps and she hates it. but like acquiring babies So Rapidly with no thought behind it, no preparation, no warning, Delicious. :)

[sourkitsch]

tagged by @witchstone

Rules: tag 10 people you want to know better

relationship status : Single which is the wisest choice for everyone.

favorite color: yellow! I have a yellow ikea couch and a yellow ikea armchair

favorite food: it used to be sushi before I worked at a sushi restaurant & now I’m kind of just…. Not eating it for a while. Let’s say for the near future it’s samosas.

song stuck in your head: Always by Saliva. Angsty dad rock is my guilty pleasure

last thing you googled: cheap hotels in Philly December 14th-18th (planning my birthday trip . Celebrating with Lingua Ignota & Marcel Duchamp & that giant intestine at the Mütter )

time: 10:52 am

dream trip: I mean I’m always talking about going to Florence one day but honestly that’s very manageable. Maybe elsewhere In Italy? Seeing the Biennale would be a really great experience

last book you read: The Dancing Plague by Gareth Brookes! It’s a graphic novel done all in pyrography & embroidery and it follows the life of a fictional medieval mystic at the heart of the 1518 dancing plague. A bit of a dry read but I read it for the art mostly!

last book you enjoyed reading: Mystery of the Blue Train by Agatha Christie. Agatha……….. your mind.

last book you hated reading: Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. I didn’t hate the book but the experience was really unsettling + uncomfortable. Definitely not the best choice for my own mental health.

favorite thing to cook/bake: I keep ratatouille in pretty heavy rotation in my meal planning!! It’s so easy to make & its so yummy and there’s really not a whole lot of dishes or prep and it’s very versatile you can eat it for like every meal (and I do)!

most niche dislike: people who are incapable of having thoughts that are not about whatever fandom they’re in.

opinion on the circus: I mean in America certain states have laws regarding animal welfare in the circus and I hope that becomes more of a trend. Circus history, specifically the sideshow, has always fascinated me both just as a person as well as an artist (I have read a lot about sideshow posters). I think circuses have been and continue to be ethically complex spaces. Sorry no childlike wonderment here.

do you have a sense of direction: yes, absolutely. I’ll get turned around the first time I visit a place bc google maps is not my friend, but after that I’m pretty good! I’m the best with indoor places, I have several museum layouts memorized. Someone hire me as a docent.

Tagging @spirithalloween @girllestat @blood-and-breath @itcannothold @holyfoal @letitbeafairytalethen @orpheuslament @aidaughter @good-as-dead @midnightsbytswift

[whentherewerebicycles]

good morning!! we slept in till 7:15 which was so nice—turns out it’s lovely to get up with the sun instead of in the middle of the night haha. my college best friend is on a long road trip so we chatted for an hour and a half early this morning. it was really good to catch up with her and I got a lot of little chores done around the house while we were on the phone (my fave way to do chores lol I can do literally any household task if I have a friend on the phone). it was drizzling off and on this morning but it’s become a lovely clear day so I’d like to get up and get out of the house.

but first I want to chat a little out loud in my public diary!! I’ve been really good about cooking this week and I was thinking that I want a major goal for the next year to be to get into really solid eating and cooking habits… and to really focus on developing a repertoire of simple, healthy meals that I can lean on during (fingers crossed) the first couple years of having a kid. I know that under stress I default to takeout + microwave meals but I’ve made sooooo much progress in reshaping my eating habits over the past five years and I don’t want to backslide too much. I will never be someone who cares deeply about food or is interested in preparing super complex meals, but I know that for me making food is a way of concretely demonstrating care for my body/self, and when I stop doing that it means I’m probably letting a lot of other things slide too.

I’ve also been journaling a lot about what I want the cornerstones of my parenting practice to be—like, those few core things that are so important to me I want to spend a lot of time consciously laying the groundwork for them now so that even if I’m under extreme stress I’m prepared to make decisions that are aligned with those core goals/tenets/whatever. I hope that in general as a parent I can be flexible and decently committed to not sweating the small stuff when it comes to most things, but I want those few foundational things to be really solid, yknow?? and one of those things is food. I had such an unhealthy and confused relationship with food for so long, partly because it’s just real fucking hard to grow up as a girl immersed in our country’s batshit crazy and deeply cruel diet culture! but also I just was so uninformed about nutrition and so limited in my palate (that American monodiet), all of which made me more susceptible to the pressures of extreme binge dieting. I think my parents did a lot of small things right (in terms of not letting us eat much fast food, never allowing soda or other high calorie drinks, placing limits on sweets etc) but I also know they were raised on that same Midwestern monodiet and didn’t have much (or any) exposure to alternative ways of eating.

I really want my kid(s) to have a healthier relationship with food than I did, to have an internalized understanding of the basic nutritional principles behind what they eat, to eat the same mostly plant-based whole food diet I eat, and to be involved in preparing yummy non-processed meals for themselves from a young age. but of course in order to do this I have to really solidify those habits in myself too and equip myself with the knowledge I need to pass that knowledge on! as I said I have made a LOT of progress on that front over the past few years, but I want to make those habit changes even more ingrained and automatic for myself. I was thinking about how to make this into a fun project for myself—like something where I can see tangible progress and create something in the process—and I think I’ve settled on making a little personal cookbook for myself where I try a new simple-to-make plant-based recipe each week, take a photo of the meal and print it out, and write out a recipe card that includes advice to myself (like, tips for simplifying prep or preparing ahead of time to save time or putting a little garnish on it to make it look prettier)… and I’ll also include a breakdown of the nutritional components of the meal (not calories but like: this is a veggie-heavy meal with some healthy fats, or this is a protein-heavy meal but here’s how you can add extra veggies or pair it with a lighter meal earlier in the day). and then I’ll put the “cards” into those clear plastic sheet covers and store them in a binder organized by type of meal. I also really want my child to be involved in preparing food from a young age (I literally did not learn how to do a single cooking thing beyond boiling water until after college) so maybe as I go I can also leave myself little sticky note ideas for simple parts of each meal that a small child could contribute to. that way when I’m tired and frazzled a few years down the road I don’t have to expend any cognitive energy on figuring that stuff out—I can just be like oh ok so here’s where a kid could chop something soft with a plastic knife or here’s where we could pause and measure something out together.

anyway I am having fun working on it already! I haven’t started making the cards yet (I want to test out some possible templates and maybe buy some cardstock paper & other supplies) but I’m having a great time experimenting with recipes this week. last night I had friends over for dinner and I made these delicious sweet potato pita pockets with this lightly pickled cucumber salad liz made for me a few weeks ago… all of which takes about 10 min to prep and 20 min to come together. and then for breakfast today I’ve been trying to find easy alternatives to the handful of processed foods I still eat regularly, so I looked up how to make oatmeal in a rice cooker and made myself delicious fresh apple cinnamon oatmeal without any added sugar or preservatives. I also made that sweet potato chickpea curry earlier this weekend which is a great “make it in bulk and eat it all week” meal that feels fancier and more complex than it really is. and I found this “prepare ahead” veggie power bowl recipe I’m excited to try where you can roast a wide variety of veggies and cook a grain in advance, then mix and match throughout the week based on what combos sound good any given night. I think that doing the nutritional breakdowns will also be a good learning experience for me—I have a health condition which puts me at higher risk of insulin resistance/diabetes and can also affect fertility, and this will be a good way for me to drill myself on the glycemic index & help me figure out which meals are best for managing blood sugar spikes.

anyway it should be fun!!! since moving I’ve found that one way to really motivate myself to explore this new area is to ask myself “what new place will I check out this week?” and then to make it a priority to try a new park. and then on the day to day level too I try to ask myself “what’s a new thing I can try today?”, so I’ll turn left instead of right on a walk and explore where that takes me. I am so intensely a creature of habit & routine that I think it’s really good for me to build a habit of trying new things—otherwise I’ll just do the same thing over and over by rote. I’m the same way with eating so I’m hoping the same principle applies here! if I can build a habit of “each week I try out a new thing!” I can broaden my horizons a bit… and maybe I can even do some “what’s a new thing I can try in this meal?” thinking too to encourage myself to like, idk, try different spices or ratios or make interesting substitutions just to see how it turns out. plus I’ll have a BOOK of things I made by the end!!! like even if I just try 1-2 new things per week for a year that’s 50-100 options I’ll have in my repertoire, and then I can curate that collection however I want.

[kitkatdotcom]

September 17th 2024 10:44 AM

Sometimes I look back at my life like I’m watching the movie or hearing the story of someone else. I know that in order to survive, we must other from ourselves to carry on day to day, but I am trapped with the pain of my past as I wake every morning with the reminder of my fear. I am terrified that being disabled means I am unable to care for myself. All I have ever wanted since I was a little girl was to be able to wipe my own ass and care for myself. How tragic I refuse help, and lash out at he hands that seek to comfort me with pets. 

Today I am writing an e-journal, I guess. I can’t sem to find a coherent theme or real commitment to writing a real short story, or novel, or book, fiction or not to help me get over whatever the fuck it is that has me trapped in the past moments of my life. 

It’s crazy. I feel the past about to be ripped from me as I grow older. The political climate. The physical one. When you’re in it, nothing seems different. But looking back, nothing seems the same. 

I don’t know what it is about my past that’s so painful. I can navigate the loss of life. I can navigate threats to it. I can navigate a violent situation, a hostile one. But I guess an accident, a total consequence of fate is just too much to wrap my head around. When you’re not really mad at anyone, not even the omnipresent, potentially intervening universe. 

Today I just feel stuck. Doomed to repeat the same bullshit consumerist patterns in attempts to dress my wounds. Stuck repeating addictive, destructive behaviors despite all my best efforts to just be okay with myself. I look at myself and I know my body is acceptable, but I’ve gained 10 pounds. I struggle with numbers. My bank account, my weight, my followers. Fuck. I can’t seem to escape our objective attempts to measure each other although in the end I know it’s a heart’s game. 

When I die, (Oh how we frame our identity around the idea we leave in others’ heads.) I just want to give people an excuse to party. A day off from the bullshit to really celebrate life in a way that is meaningful to them. They do not even have to know or remember me. Just please. On the day y’all wanna celebrate my so called life, don't forget time to take in and cherish your own. 

I’m not conquering death today. Although, each morning getting out of bed and making a plan for the day feels like I’m intricately laying piece after piece to  Rube Goldberg device to my grave. Brush teeth, do laundry, smoke weed, work out, clean, clean, clean. There has to be more to life than surviving and just trying to make sense of your experiences through art. And I am living life on absolute easy mode. I connect with everyone I meet, yet there’s a deeper feeling they aren’t able to connect with me. I feel empty, lonely, hollow. Even as my relationships become more complex, I fall more in love, gain new friends, family, and followers. I still can't help but feel pointless and distant about the whole situation in the morning. 

But then I get going. And I find I actually like writing poorly written journal entries as a form of therapeutic art on teh internet. I get over my fears of death. I leave my house. I visit family. I get free Iris from across town. I eat a yummy snack. I feel my body again. I embarrass myself. I comfort myself. And life is good. The end. For today. So far. 

[phoenixlandingfoundation]

Easy Homemade Seed Crackers

Another great idea by Lynn Galbreath

My parrots love anything crunchy – wood, cardboard, door jams, baseboards, pellets, Nutri-berries and yes, crackers. Yummy, yummy crackers.

Our Maximillian Pionus came from a Craigslist ad posted by a family that inherited her. They knew nothing about parrots and didn’t want to learn. In the few months that this little MaxiPi was in transition she lived on goldfish crackers and almonds. She was, needless to say, rather addicted to both when she came home with us, as well as being on the cusp of major malnutrition. She is still a picky eater and does not accept new foods well. In fact, she totally refuses all fruit —- what parrot doesn’t like at least some fruits?

We adopted our brown throated conure Sunny AKA Alonzo from Phoenix Landing. Coming through the Phoenix Landing program he was certainly in a much better nutritional place. In fact, Alonzo is a great little eater… if he thinks it’s food he will try nearly anything. His one exception is nuts —- what parrot refuses to eat any kind of nut?

I have two seed cracker recipes that both birds love and are healthy for all of us. These crackers are actually “people food” as well as “parrot food” so it is nice to be able to make something using only one recipe that everyone in my family can (and will!) eat. Crackers, even healthy ones, are obviously not good for a full-time diet but they can and do make wonderful treats or rewards. Also, the two birds are just so cute sitting there munching away while making little happy “this tastes yummy” sounds.

Crackers are easy to make. Crackers are also simple — well at least these recipes are. I don’t cook anything fancy or complex as it’s too much bother. So, if you want a cracker that will take all day and will dirty every dish you own you’ll have to search for some other recipe, because I’m not going there. There are really only 3 tricks to having a great homemade cracker:

#1 Use parchment baking paper so they don’t stick to your pan

#2. Spread the dough mixture somewhat thinly – super thin is more crunchy but a bit thicker makes more sturdy crackers

#3 Keep an eye on them as they bake because crackers can burn quickly (thinness does that)

Here are my two recipes. I have included pictures of the process for making the first recipe – The Basic Seed Crackers.These two types of crackers are similar to each other but also different. The second recipe – KnekkeBrod- has rye flour which the first one doesn’t so it tastes and looks different. As far as I can tell no one in my family of four (1 husband and 2 birds, plus me) has a real preference between the two crackers. The human’s choice of cracker seems to depend on a dip (if one is available); and the avian’s choice of cracker is whatever they can get their little beaks on. One bonus of baking seed cracker recipes is that they are quite forgiving – you can swap one seed for another as you see fit or to use whatever you have on hand. The other bonus is that obviously you know exactly what the ingredients are, and you don’t need preservatives. If you think you cannot eat the crackers in a timely manner they can be frozen.

A big plus for me is that both these crackers contain ground flaxseed. This is so very nutritious for the parrots and I’m always on the lookout to find things they like to eat that are good for them. The birds become excited when they see me getting the cracker container out of the cupboard, with Sydney the Pionus doing a little twirly dance. Alonzo prefers to signal his excitement with a series of Beep, Beep, Beeping calls.

BASIC SEED CRACKERS

Since these crackers don’t contain anything but seeds, the recipe is dairy-free, egg-free, grain (gluten) free, soy-free, nut-free, and sugar-free. If you take this recipe and make 24 crackers each one is supposed to have 56 calories.

Equipment:

Baking pan or cookie pan

Mixing bowl

Knife or pizza cutter

Measuring cups

Measuring spoon

Ingredients:

¾ cup ground flaxseed

½ cup sunflower seeds

⅓ cup sesame seeds, unhulled has much more calcium

½ cup water

You want the recipe’s amount worth of seeds (½ cup plus ⅓ cup): I have at different times substituted some pumpkin seeds, an organic 6 seed mix that I also use for sprouting, chia seeds, or a few pine nuts and so on for a portion of the official seeds named in the recipe. It actually doesn’t hurt to have just a tiny bit more seeds but too many and the ground flaxseed won’t be able to “glue” it together.

Instructions:

#1. Arrange a rack in the middle of the oven. Preheat the oven to 300*F.

#2. Mix. Add all the seeds and salt into a mixing bowl and stir everything until well combined. Add the water and stir again. After a minute or so you’ll notice the mixture begin to thicken.

#3. Let the mixture sit for a few minutes – 2 or 3 should be enough. The key to making these crackers work is to allow the ground flaxseeds to absorb all the water. It will gel.

#4. Spread. Transfer the mixture onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Spread into an even thin layer. A damp rubber spatula is great for this, but you can just wet your hands and kind of pat it down. The thickness of the crackers is up to you.

#5 Bake. (This is easier to do than to describe.) Bake for 10 minutes, then remove and score with a knife or pizza cutter so that breaking it into nice cracker shapes will be easier after it’s done. If you want a rustic look and think breaking into odd shaped pieces is fine, skip the scoring. I’ve done both and to me it doesn’t matter. Bake for another 20 minutes.

At this point, whether you scored the crackers or not you have baked them for 30 minutes total.

Now you need to “flip” the crackers. Take the baking sheet out of the oven. The easiest way to flip the cracker is to slide the parchment paper off from the baking sheet onto a big cutting board or a second baking sheet or even the top of the oven if you are desperate. The crackers are still on the parchment paper. Then take your baking sheet (careful it’s still hot) and cover the crackers. Pick up the cutting board (or the edges of the parchment paper -this is harder) and flip the entire thing over. Now your crackers are upside down on the original baking sheet.

Peel the parchment paper off and bake until the edges are golden brown, about 20 minutes. Adjust the baking time depending on how golden and crispy you prefer. Keep an eye on the crackers now so they don’t burn as that happens quickly. You can feel how crisp the crackers are becoming by poking them with a finger. They also crisp up a bit as they cool.

#6 Cool and Store. Transfer the baked cracker to a cooling rack and let cool completely. This may be unnecessary, I let mine cool sitting on the baking sheet just the way they came out of the oven. Then break the cracker along the scored lines. Store in an airtight container for up to 1 week or in the refrigerator for up to 1 month.

KNEKKE BROD (Norwegian Crisp Bread)

This is a Norwegian Seed Cracker. As a human food you can’t beat pairing it with cheese or jam. As a parrot food it competes with any other treat in my bird’s opinions. The baking method for these crackers is easier than for the Basic Seed Crackers as you do not have to flip them over. I don’t have any calorie amounts for this recipe as it came to me hand-written and passed through the family. I also don’t care enough to struggle to figure it out— if you must calculate calories have fun.

Equipment:

Baking pan or cookie pan

Mixing bowl

Knife or pizza cutter

Measuring cups

Measuring spoon

Ingredients:

½ cup quick oats – (but regular oats will work)

½ cup rye flour

½ cup sunflower seeds

½ cup sesame seeds, unhulled has more calcium

½ cup oat bran

¼ cup wheat bran

¼ cup ground flaxseeds

1 and ½ cups water

I have at different times substituted some pumpkin seeds, an organic 6 seed mix that I also use for sprouting, chia seeds, or a few pine nuts and so on for a portion of the official seeds named in the recipe. I know that’s heresy to some KnekkeBrod purists however at least pumpkin seeds are included in other recipes, so there you go. Parrots First!! 🙂 There are lots of KnekkeBrod recipes on-line with all sorts of tweaks; this is my family’s recipe.

Instructions:

#1. Heat oven to 325*F

#2. Mix together and let it sit for 10 minutes.

#3. Spread thinly on parchment baking paper. You will probably need 2 large cookie sheets for this amount. I have discovered the mixture also bakes fine in a casserole dish if you only have one cookie sheet. A damp spatula or damp finger works well to spread and smooth the mixture. Try not to leave any holes because the edges of the hole will probably burn.

#4. Bake for 10 minutes. Then remove from oven and score crackers with a sharp knife or a pizza cutter. You don’t have to cut all the way through the crackers and they do not have to be separated because when they bake they don’t “rise” they merely dry out.

#5. Return to oven and bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Keep a close eye on the crackers that last 15 minutes as they can burn quickly. Turn off oven, open oven door, and let them cool in the oven. They cool slower this way and it’s supposed to assist their crunchy-ness. I don’t know if that is true or a family KnekkeBrod legend but I’ve always done it.

#6. Then break the cracker along the scored lines. Store in an airtight container. These seem to keep very well.

[megan-loves-surveys]

Again.

Who will you be spending Christmas with this year? It's only March, but this year will prob be like the last few - me and my Mum, and my boyfriend will come over at some point.

What time do you usually go to sleep at night? Depends - if I have to work the next day, then around midnight. If no work, then after 1am.

Did you go to high school with your current best friend? Yes.

Have you ever wanted to be vegetarian or vegan? No.

Do you park your car in a garage, carport or just in a driveway? I don't have a car, but if I did, I'd park it in the space in front of our house. Every house in our complex has two spaces.

Have you ever been a passenger in a semi-trailer truck? No.

Have you felt sick today? No.

Whose was the last funeral you attended? My Grandma's, back in 2017.

Have you read The Hunger Games trilogy? No.

How many times a week do you wash your hair? Two or three times. If I do it any more than that, it goes weird.

Do you need to wash your hair right now? I washed it yesterday, so it's fine for now.

Do you avoid using public restrooms? No. If I gotta go, then I gotta go.

What is your boss’ (or school prinicpal’s) name? My boss' name is Oliver.

Have you seen any extended relatives in the last month? No.

Do you like eggnog? I've never had it.

Is there anything important you need to do today? It's almost 10:30pm lol, the day is basically over.

Who is the person you dislike the most? Nobody, really.

Girls, how old were you when you first got your period? 13.

Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? My Mum and I split them.

Have you ever properly listened to classical music? Did you like it? Yes, it's nice but I wouldn't listen to it all the time.

Do your parents know how to text? Yep. My Dad does it a lot, my Mum not as much but she can do it.

Do you text your parents often? If I want to talk to my Dad, I usually just message him on FB Messenger. If it's more urgent, then I text or call him.

What letter does your middle name begin with? S.

Do your initials spell an actual word? No.

What will you do when this survey is over? Play a video game, probably.

Do you know anyone with celiac disease? Not that I know of.

How many siblings do you have? Are they all full siblings? None.

What’s the weather like today? It was rainy, but also super warm and humid. Gross combination.

Have you ever eaten a cinnamon donut? Yes, those tiny ones you get at the fair! Yummy.

What is the longest relationship you’ve ever been in? My current one, we've been together since June 2022, so almost 2 years.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Twice.

How do you usually celebrate New Years? I usually go out for a drink with my boyfriend and his friends.

Is the place that you’re in right now quiet or loud? What can you hear? It's not loud, but not quiet either. I have a YouTube video playing, and my Mum has the TV on downstairs.

Do you currently have any alarms set? No.

How many cars can fit in your driveway? We don't have a driveway, just two parking spaces outside our house.

Do you like whiskey? Sure.

When was the last time you ate, and what did you have? I had a couple of pieces of toast, some savoury biscuits and an iceblock a few hours ago.

When did you last see someone you know in public? Hmm, at the Maniacs show the other day.

Do you enjoy going to the dentist? Who does?

When did you last eat something you didn’t like? I don't do that.

Do you think you’d survive if zombies took over the world? I'd probably suck lol.

When did you last hang out with a bunch of friends at one time? I guess the Maniacs show counts - there was me, David, Scott, Judith, Richard, Remoana and Summer.

What kind of music is your least favorite? Country and screamo.

Are you and your best friend complete opposites? We can be, but at the same time we're the same lol.

Would people around you say you’re regularly a mean person? No.

Do you like the colour yellow at all? Sure.

If you were to write a novel, what would it be about? It'd be a fanfic lol.

How many times have you logged in to Bzoink? (it has a counter) The site shut down, so I don't know, but it was def in the hundreds, I was a member since 2009.

Are you currently pretending to be someone’s friend? No.

Are you an impatient person? I can be.

Are you afraid to watch movies that have sex scenes with your friends? Haha no, we just watch and laugh.

Who sings the last song you listened to? Five.

Why do you think some actors don't want to see their movies/shows? Cos they don't want to see themselves haha.

Do you think fortune tellers are the devil’s messengers (haha)? No.

Would you rather use napkins or paper towels? Napkins.

Do you go to the pool in the summer time very often? No.

Have you ever had a serious issue involving your eyes? My eyes in general are healthy, but my eyesight sucks.

Have you ever watched South Park? Who’s your favorite character? Yes, and Cartman of course.

Do you have sensitive teeth? Not really.

Do you enjoy or hate snow days? Why is this your choice? It doesn't snow where I live.

Do you turn pale when you get sick? Probably?

Does it bother you to get shots in the mouth? Does it hurt? That's only ever happened to me at the dentist, it was a numbing injection. Ugh.

When did you last talk seriously with one of your parents? Dunno about seriously.

What is the day of the week currently? Monday.

Is anything exciting coming up in the next three months? Oh yep.

Do you ever borrow money from someone? No.

Do you know anyone who tells every single thing you say? You mean like blab about my secrets? No.

When did you last kiss someone on the cheek? Who was it? My boyfriend probably.

Why do you think people like Lady Gaga so much? She's talented and has amazing stage presence. Plus her songs rule.

Do you have a lot of enemies, or not so much? I don't have any.

Can you count backwards from 100 without a mistake? Never tried.

Do you have any friends you’ve had since birth? No.

Do you care if your friends talk badly about you? Why would they do that?

Would you rather drink out of a straw or just the cup alone? Depends on the drink - some are better with straws.

Does anyone ever say they miss you often? Yes. My boyfriend is cheesey and says he misses me when we don't see each other that day <3

Would you rather become a wizard or a vampire, if you had the choice? Wizard.

Is there anyone out there who has made you feel miserable? Not recently.

Do you have a problem answering personal questions? No.

What color is the vacuum-cleaner in your house? It's red.

Have you already moved out of your parents’ house? No.

Are your parents divorced, married or separated? Divorced, and my Dad remarried.

Have you ever thought you might just have obsessive compulsive disorder? No.

Do you think it’s rude to text someone else while on a date? Well, yeah. Pay attention to yo date lol.

What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Hard to pick.

What are your views on our current president? Not everyone is American. But when it comes to NZ, our PM Luxon is fucking awful. Didn't vote for him or his party.

Has one of your websites ever quit operating or shut down? Were you sad? Bzoink shut down recently, sucky.

Is it awkward to see your best friend’s parents out in public? I don't see them, so no lol.

Who is the person you talk to the most in your house? It's just me and Mum, so her by default.

Is there a television show out there that you never miss? Only WWE.

What movie have you seen too many times to be healthy? Spiceworld xD

What are the last two digits of your phone number? 75.

Does it creep you out to see people with mullets? No, they just look silly xD

What is your biggest responsibility in your household? Bills.

How cold did it get where you live, last winter? It's very mild in my city, I don't think it even got close to 0C.

Do you ever wish you could go back in time to redo something? Maybe.

Ever accidentally pull out a filling from your tooth? I don't have any fillings.

Do you ever wonder what your exes are doing? No.

Have you ever been caught in a huge lie with your parents? I didn't get caught.

Do you ever listen to the radio anymore? No.

Does it bother you to have personal conversations with people? Why would it?

Ever ride in a limo? When did you last do so? I've never been in one.

Do any of your body parts hurt at this moment in time? Yep, my fingers.

Are you sober at the time being? Yep.

Do any of your friends constantly do things to annoy you? No.

When did you last eat a Starburst? What color was it? Oh man, dunno, ages ago.

Have you ever lied to someone & said they could sing when they couldn’t? No.

Do you ever call backstabbers out on what they do? Yep.

How many people in the world do you trust? A few.