#it's a safe space for so many people and feeling forced to explain why i like x and also y when y is 'the worst thing ever' is tiering

[iminye]

hot take but you're allowed to like both the noldor and the sindar, you're allowed to be a fan of fëanor and/or any of his sons and be sympathetic towards thingol, you're allowed to like both miriel and indis, you're allowed to like the kidnap fam and simultaneously be a massive stan of elwing and eärendil, you're allowed to like maeglin but also to like idril and acknowledge that the betrayal of gondolin and everything that came with it was terrible, you're allowed to be a celegorm fan but you can also absolutely call him out for the lúthien situation and make fun of his death at the hands of a 30-something year old half human twink (all the love to dior btw he's awesome), you're allowed to do that!

and you know what, none of these are mutually exclusive, you don't have to feel forced to choose one side or the other depending on who is morally right. like what you like!

and also before anyone comes at me, obviously you're also allowed to completely ignore this and stay rooted in your opinion but please don't antagonise people who do not share it.

thanks.

[damiansgoodgirll]

I never really do this so I was wondering if you can do a one shot with Damian and an autistic reader like what would her do if the reader is overwhelmed and he is trying his best to calm her down. Fluff with a lots of cuddles. If you can’t do it I understand it if you are uncomfortable I’m sorry I thought I get out side my comfort zone and ask 💗💕💕

hi love! i tried my best! hope you like it ❤️

damian priest x reader

overwhelmed

damian knew that big crowds weren’t your places. everytime you were together he tried to avoid them. parties were a big no for you and he understood and respected that but there was a big wwe event coming up and he didn’t want to miss it.

at first you told him to go alone as you didn’t want to be surrounded by tons of people but then you felt a little guilty leaving him alone when all of his colleagues would be accompanied by their partners.

he never forced you to with him, knowing that you would feel a little uncomfortable with so many people so he was surprised when you told him that you would go with him.

“are you sure? you don’t have to and you know that mi amor” he asked you one night before going to bed.

“i’m sure…i wanna be there for you” you said laying your head over his chest.

“if anything happens you gotta tell me tho…”

you smiled at him “i promise you”

so the night of the even became and you were kinda nervous.

you had a pretty long blue dress, hair and make up done and damian wearing a matching blue outfit by your side.

once at the even you were kinda glad you knew almost everyone there. rhea, finn and dom never failed to make you feel welcomed. rhea always treated you like you were sisters and you loved her for that. shauna greeted you, zoey did too. you were happy to see all of those familiar faces that you started to get loose a little. with damian always by your side, you started conversations with most of the people but it was when journalists came around asking damian useless questions that you started to feel a little overwhelmed.

you wouldn’t mind it if they respected your private and personal space but they didn’t.

damian’s hand was holding yours while he was faking smiling answering all of the questions.

“what is her problem? why won’t she leave him alone?” you heard one of the journalist ask to a friend.

damian didn’t hear that but you did.

you tried to shake that feeling away but the fear of having someone’s eyes on you, constantly judging you wasn’t go away.

“are you okay mariposa?” damian asked you, feeling you were getting lost in your head.

“yes i’m fine…” you smiled at him but he wasn’t convinced at all “why don’t we go drink something with rhea and the rest of the group?”

he nodded, being satisfied with your answer.

so a few hours passed, the journalists left but the fear of someone’s eyes on you was still there. you couldn’t explain why but the overwhelming feeling you were experiencing was eating you alive.

“dam…i think i’m going out for a bit, i’ll be right back…” you said leaving the room, not looking back, not even when damian asked you if you were okay.

of course, he followed you outside and his heart broke when he saw tears filling your eyes “baby…what’s going on? are you okay?”

“i don’t know, i just got overwhelmed…” you said. his arms opened up and you immediately found safety in his embrace. he let you cry, not judging you. his hands tracing your back, slowly and gently.

after a few minutes your tears slowed down, making it easier for you to breathe again.

“did something happened?” he asked cautiously. he didn’t want you to overwhelm you with question, he just wanted be sure you were doing okay.

“i don’t know…there was a journalist who said something…but then she got away and in my mind she stayed there…i don’t know i just felt overwhelmed and…”

“hey hey love, take it easy…you’re okay…you’re okay my love…i promise you you’re safe…” he tried to calm you down when he realised you were panicking again “i promise you i’m here…everything’s okay and no one is judging you baby…is it okay if i hug you again?”

“yes please…”

damian smiled when you hugged him back, knowing that most of the times you just wanted to remain alone “it’s okay love…” he reminded you, making you feel loved and safe.

“i’m sorry i ruined your party…i shouldn’t have come, i know you would have better fun without me being here…”

“that’s nonsense love…this party is boring and you being here makes it even better, i love you so much y/n and having you here with me means the world to me. i’m so proud of you for trying to come out of your comfort zone but i promise you that you don’t have to do that, not for me especially…do what makes you happy and safe…” he kissed the top of your head, making you feel loved and appreciated.

“thank you for being here damian…i love you so much…” you smiled into his arms.

“why don’t we stop by the market you like and we buy that delicious ice cream and then we watch a movie and cuddle on the couch together?” he suggested, almost like reading your mind.

“that’s a perfect idea…” you smiled again.

feeling thankful and grateful for having someone as supportive as damian in your life, that was the best feeling ever.

[loycos]

Just saw your analysis on the CaitVi sex scene. You put it perfectly! I think so many people also went into the show with really strong head canons of who tops/bottoms, which leads to disappointment sometimes when it doesn’t play out accordingly, as if positioning is a static thing anyway (it’s not). But with the dynamic of their relationship , especially in S2, Vi being in control was incredibly important in the sex scene.

Cait was overwhelmed with control through out the entire season and you can see how it exhausted her emotionally. Even with Maddie, she seemed to be entirely in control of their dynamics as well. So of course she feels safe to give up control with Vi, it’s probably also relieving. And the opposite applies to Vi. That dynamic can change in certain situations as well, people can get really divisive about this….like that’s how a majority of healthy relationships work

very well said! i'm actually so proud of myself cause i CALLED it. i knew this was gonna happen, because it was the only thing that made sense. i will admit, i hate using the terms "top\bottom" for it, it feels wrong, also paints this picture of like set in roles which i think aren't common in lesbians relationships. sex is about giving and taking, mutual respect, it's fluid.

So the fandom's VERY COMMON interpretation of caitlyn as this dom mommy rubs me the wrong way, not just cause it implies these strict roles, but also because it feels like a misunderstanding of caitlyn as a character. caitlyn has a complex relationship with power and control in her life, its one of the central themes of her character. who she's meant to be and who she wants to be. vi is her one safe space, where caitlyn feels like she can be herself without worrying about the role she's supposed to play- that of an influential politician, a commander. and i don't see her taking that power and control into specifically her relationship with vi. especially because of who vi is, how much vi had to endure. she was beaten in jail, she suffered so much loss, and in every intimate interaction they have, caitlyn is extremely aware of this. she is always SO careful around vi, the way she touches vi is delicate- she doesn't want to seem forceful, she doesn't feel like shes allowed to take too much. i think she's too self aware, and guilt ridden (and has been SINCE s1) to use power over vi when theyre intimate with each other. and i dont think she ever wanted to.

so to explain why this bothers me so much, as much as to write 10 paragraphs essay on the matter. caitlyn as a character is someone who is incredibly closed off emotionally. she has a really hard time opening up and especially expressing her own emotions and desires. she holds herself back from taking "too much". and she uses her work to cover this up, she safely hides behind the walls of authority. but when u break those walls, she's a very sensitive, soft person. you only get to see that side of her when she's with vi, because that is the one person she feels safe with. caitlyn as a character doesnt want power, she just wants to be seen and appreciated for who she is. so to me it feels like people with that very common headcanon just misinterpret caitlyn as a character. they take that mask she uses to keep herself distant and confuse it for her real face. and that bothers me.

[httpscomexe]

is chapter 4 of runaway will be coming out soon? just genuinely asking, take your time don't feel rushed!!! i absolutely adore your fics 😍😍

Runaway 4

Summary: Xavier takes others over you, leaving you with Logan's worst nightmare. Staying with Wade Wilson.

(Find What I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)

Parings: Logan Howlett x Hybrid!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of kidnapping, forced drinking, sexual jokes, fourth wall breaking. (Individual warnings per chapter) This will most likely be a non-con fic.

Word Count: 4155 (Find all chapters here) CH5

P.S. If you’d like to be tagged, ask in the comments, you also have permission to send an ask, but make sure it is NOT anonymous, so I know your username, don’t worry, I’m scared of confrontation too. But this is a SAFE SPACE where I will not judge. Thank you again.

It becomes sort of a routine with Logan.

Wake up, let him brush your hair, let him choose your clothes, study, eat dinner, let him brush your hair, sleep, and then repeat. Occasionally, he would have days where he was busy, and you knew better than to try finding Wade. Since he’d taken your phone as a punishment, you hadn’t been able to contact anyone else either. But you didn’t think much of it.

And right now, it was morning. The sun was shining through his open curtains, light shining onto your thighs as you sat on the floor, Logan sitting on the bench at the foot of the bed as he brushed through your hair, his fingers occasionally stroking over your ears.

“Okay, what does this word mean?” You held up the book you were reading, and you pointed at a word on the second page.

“Do you know how to say it…?” He asks you, still brushing through your hair, you weren’t sure why he still was, since there weren't any tangles left.

“Sub…Lim…” You try pronouncing the word, stuttering a little. “Inal?”

“Good, now say it all together.” He asks, taking a tie off his wrist to pull your hair up into a ponytail, but he changes his name and continues to brush it.

“Subliminal? What does that mean?”

“Read the sentence, try to figure it out…” He tells you, sectioning your hair now to part it into box braids.

“It says ‘As is typical with this method, no part… particip…ant… participant reported being aware of the sub…liminal faces.’” You struggle a little, and hear him chuckle behind you.

“Good, what do you think it means?”

“Well…” You think about it, trying to remember what Xavier had taught you about root words, and just as you’re about to explain your thought process, there’s a knock at the door, making your ear twitch slightly to the sound. “Ow…” You move your head away, the pointy end of the brush he was using the part of your hair pokes the sensitive skin of your ear.

“Shit… sorry… are you okay?” He quickly gets down to his knees, and his hand fans over your large ear, and there's another knock at the door, the person behind it getting impatient.

“I’m okay Lo, go see who’s at the door.” You gently nudge his hand away, and you watch as he sighs and stands up to open the door, leaving you to gently rub your ear. You weren’t sure why they were so sensitive, but you were sure it was because you weren’t grown in your deer form yet. You’ve only spent a few hours in that form in total in your many years of being alive, so of course, it wasn’t very… developed.

“Jean?” You can’t see too well from your position on the floor, the bed being in your way.

“Hey, I wanted to talk about something, is Bambi here?” You stay quiet.

“No, she’s out with a friend.” He clears his throat, and you understand what to do, you crawl to the other side of the bed so you wouldn’t be visible to Jean.

“Can I come in?” You hear Logan step inside, then lighter footsteps until Jean is sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So Xavier told me…” You hear the bed move a bit more, and assume Logan sat down next to her. “Having her here is too risky.”

“Too… risky?”

“Yes… Considering she’s a hybrid and all.” You hear her sigh. “Obviously, people are searching for those. And if anyone finds out that she’s here… Well… Then we’re compromising the safety of everyone in the mansion.”

“So what? He wants to just throw her out?”

“No, he will provide her with a home and clothes to hide her-”

“It’s not happening.”

“It’s not up to you, Logan.” By this time, your ears were already pinned down to the back of your head, and if you weren’t sitting on your ass, your tail would be between your legs.

“She will die…”

“She’s survived all this time alone already. What difference would there be?”

“Yea she’s survived!” He half shouts and half whispers. “She’s survived because they catch her and hold her like a fucking animal.”

“Logan, why are you whispering? We’re alone.” There’s silence for a few seconds, then a sigh comes from Jean. “Bambi, you can come out.” Your ear perks up slightly, but you don’t move, she wasn’t in control of you.

“Bambi honey, come on out.” You stand to Logan's demand, slowly before crawling onto the bed, sitting near Logan.

“Hey… Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You tell her, but your ears are still down.

“It’s just… If they find you here, it’s putting everyone else at risk, and Xavier would… Well he’d rather lose 1 hybrid than lose hundreds of mutants.”

“I understand.” You whisper, but your eyes meet Logans.

“When does Xavier want her gone?” Logan's voice comes out gruff.

“As soon as possible. He was hoping this afternoon.”

“And why isn’t he the one telling me this? Why did he send you?” She’s quiet again apart from a sigh. “God he’s a fucking pussy.” His head turns towards you. “There’s a duffle bag in the closet, start throwing our clothes in it Bambi.” He stands up, and Jean stands up with him, a stunned look on her face with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry… Our?” She watches as you disappear into the closet, and her jaw goes slack as Logan follows behind you. “No, no. Logan, you can’t leave.”

“Says who?”

“Says me, Logan. We need you on missions.” She stands at the opening of the closet, and you ignore their conversation, deciding it doesn’t have to do with you.

“You guys will do just fine without me.” He says, reaching over your head to grab a heavy jacket. “Here hun, carry this one. It’s cold outside.”

“Logan-” She grabs his arm, and tries to pull on him. “You can’t-”

“No.” His tone changes completely, from just simple annoyance to straight anger and frustration. He clearly wasn’t happy about Xaviers negligence, and the last thing he needed was the stubborn red head pulling on his arm and telling him he can’t. “I am not leaving her out alone in fucking New York to be kidnapped by another fucking gang.” He pulls his arm away from her and he points in her face. “If you guys need my help so fucking bad, then you better talk to Xavier and figure out a way she can stay here.”

“Logan, there are hundreds of lives on the line, you could at LEAST do the logical thing.”

“The logical thing?” His voice gets louder, and you take a small step away but continue folding clothes and stuffing them into the duffle bag. “I lost my entire fucking family and everyone I knew in my fucking universe, and Bambi is the closest thing I have to family here.”

“The closest thing you have to a family? Logan you fight beside us in missions that could end up with the entire state exploded to dust and what? We’re not your family?”

“No, you’re not. The Jean that was my family is fucking dead, the Xavier that was my family, guess what? He’s fucking dead…” You glance over from the corner of your eye to see Logan take a progressive step towards him with each name. “Ororo, Hank, Scott, everyone that was my fucking family is dead. So excuse me if I don’t want to see a walking fucking corpse every last waking second of my life, and be reminded of my fuck up, everytime I see you motherfuckers…” Jean was now packed into a corner, Logan's face barely inches away from hers, and you can see the way her jaw is clenching. “So don’t you fucking dare tell me what I can, and can not do. I have no connection to you, and will have no fucking problem sending three fucking blades down the centre of your throat.” She doesn’t say anything, only swallowing her spit before her eyes move to yours, still in the closet and frozen in the middle of folding a pair of Logan's jeans before you had become invested in their argument.

You’ve never seen Logan so pissed.

“Fine… Leave.” She looks back up at Logan. “Have the lives of a couple more hundred people in your hands because you left, again.” Shit… You watch as his claws slowly extract from his hands, and you put the jeans down, slowly approaching in case Jean becomes a target.

“You better take that back…” They stare at each other for a long moment. Only the sound of the fan above spinning and the heavy breathing from Logan could be heard through the room.

“Make. Me.” Logan.

“Oh…” He chuckles. Logan…! “Now you’ve done it…” Logan!

“Logan!” Your voice comes out small, and his head twitches a little as he looks over his shoulder. He looks as if he had forgotten you were there. “Can we leave… Please?” You glance down as his claws are hidden back beneath his skin, and it heals over quickly.

“Right…” He growls a little, and backs away from Jean after one last look. “Are you ready then?” He asks, ignoring Jean now as he goes into the closet and lifts the duffle bag, tossing in the last pair of jeans before zipping it up.

“Yes I’m ready…” You stand in the centre of the room awkwardly. “I guess…” You mumble, and Logan sways his hand in front of him, signalling for you to move ahead of him as he grabs his keys, and you’re out of the door quickly, leaving Jean alone in the room, and his arm slides behind your back to walk next to you.

You were sitting in the passenger seat, watching in the mirror as Logan tossed the bag in the back, slamming the door and making the truck shake a little before getting behind the wheel and starting the engine.

“So where are we going?” He sighs, thinking of an answer to the question with one hand on the wheel as he stares at nothing. Then he reaches into his back pocket, and takes out his phone, handing it to you. “Call Wade.” You take the phone. “Act happy or whatever, and ask if he has space for both you and me…” He growls a little again, looking out his window as you find Wade’s name in his contacts, and you ring it.

“Peanut? And I thought you deleted my number.” The sound of Wade's voice alone was enough to make you smile.

“No, it's me.” You chuckle a little, expecting him to recognise your voice.

“Oh, darling. Bambi, you’re using Logans’ phone. Everything okay?”

“Yes. Everything is fine. But he and I were wondering if you had space for both him and me?”

“They’re kicking him out already?”

“No, they’re kicking me out actually.”

“What? That’s ridiculous. I have the couch, and I have an air mattress that I let Logan sleep on before he left me for one-eye. You guys can obviously stay here.” Logan sighs, but he starts the engine and speaks up.

“Still living under that bridge with Althea?” He asks gruffly.

“Of course, I wouldn't want to leave this humble abode. But peanut?” Logan grunts. “Do you mind picking up dinner? I’ll pay you back. We just need pizza.”

“Sure. What kind?” He turns over his shoulder and begins backing out.

“Hawaiian, no ham. And then just normal cheese.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks pea-” Logan reaches over and hangs up before putting the truck back in forward and he drives out of the parking lot, leaving the mansion behind.

“Can we also get some brownies?” You ask, putting the phone on the centre console.

“Of course, Bambi.”

“Oh, my two most favourite things ever are here!” Wades’ voice is joyful as both you and Logan walk inside of his little home, the smell of sweat and dog smacking you in the face.

“Male strippers and cocaine?” Another voice comes from a different room.

“Bambi and pizza!” He hugs you, and Logan grunts from behind. “Male strippers is my third favourite, silly.” He calls back, letting go of you and taking the pizza boxes from your hand.

“Hey Bam, how about you go shower, the bathrooms back there.” He points to the room where the other voice came from. Just another person comes out, wearing glasses and with a white afro and walking cane in one hand.

“Who the hell gives birth and names their kid ‘bam?’” She says, feeling around a little for the couch and mumbling something along the lines of ‘why does Wade keep moving the fucking couch.’ “That’s a stupid-”

“Her name is actually Bambi.”

“That’s a little better.” Just a few sentences in conversation between Wade and Althea, and you could tell just how close they really were besides their constant bantering. “Wait, her?”

“I know right? Logan managed to pick up a little girl.” Wade says giddily, placing the pizza boxes on the table and opening them all before taking two cheese, a pineapple, and three brownies.

“Oh then it’s not as surprising, I thought she was your girl.”

“Look, Wade and I need to have a talk.” Logan says suddenly, gently grabbing your arm to get you to look at him. “How about you go take that shower, okay?” You nod, and take some clothes from the duffle bag he's set on the floor.

“I promise the bathroom is the cleanest place in this house.” Wade tells you as you walk by, grabbing a brownie as you pass him. 

“Just ignore Wade's toys, he uses them when Vanessa is around.” Vanessa? “Or whenever Gossip Girls is playing… Wish I was deaf.”

You walk into the bathroom, the sound of Logan's voice disappearing as you close the door, and your eyes immediately land on the large dildo sticking to the wall, which you try your hardest to ignore and not laugh at as you turn on the faucet and remove your clothes.

With the time that you’re in the shower, Logan takes his time explaining to Wade why they need a place to stay for a while, at least until they find another place.

“God they are such pieces of shit. Like I get where they’re coming from with saving hundreds or saving one, but there’s also like either you save one hundred chickens or you save one unicorn. One’s just more important. You don’t find any mammal hybrids anymore.”

“Exactly, but also Jean got pissed off at me because I told her I’m leaving. Apparently I’m so important and they can’t win without me.” He takes a large sip from his beer, an understatement when half the bottle disappears down his throat.

“I mean they’ve survived and fought so long without this world's Logan before…” Wade tells him, snatching another cheese pizza.

“Look, if I ever end up having to leave…” He sighs, regretting his next words. “Just promise to take care of Bambi. Other than you, she’s all I have left.”

“Wow, talking about me like my life doesn’t matter.” He chuckles, shoving the cheesy bread into his mouth, getting the red sauce on his lips.

“Well you can’t die, she can.”

“Now, now. I was joking, Peanut.” Logan grunts at the use of the nickname.

“What’s this girl's real name anyways?” Althea asks, using a nail fail on her nails, not even realising how incredibly crooked they were becoming.

“No idea, I’ve been calling her Bambi cause… Well, she’s a deer hybrid.”

“Ah, ah. She’s a fawn hybrid.”

“Fawn isn’t a fucking species, it’s an age.”

“Yes, but she’s not a deer.”

“Pretty sure she’s full grown.”

“Maybe in her human form. But she hasn’t spent nearly enough time in her deer form to call herself a deer.”

“What are you talking about…?”

“Look at it this way, if she spent the majority of her life in her deer form, then she’d be a full grown deer, and whenever she turned into her human form, she’d be a toddler. Right now, she’s a toddler in her deer form, AKA, a fawn.” He pauses and looks away from Logan, eyes landing on Althea. “Al honey, if you keep doing that to your nails, they’ll be sharp enough to give someone a Prince Albert piercing.” He looks away from Althea and at a wall. “Readers, I don’t suggest looking that up.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to?” Logan growls, and he can hear the sound of the shower being turned off.

“He does that sometimes, you learn to ignore it.”

“Maybe you do, but you’re blind. He literally just stared at the fucking wall and spoke to dust.”

“Like I said, you get used to it.”

As you get out of the shower and dry yourself, some sort of talk about walls and dust quickly changes into how Wade is a psychopath. Throughout your entire shower, you were thinking about where you’d be sleeping. Of course, knowing Logan, he’d let you choose between either the air mattress or the couch. The problem is, you didn’t know what’s been done on either of them. You knew Wade pretty well, and judging by the dildo still suctioned onto the wall, he didn’t really care who knew about what he did, and he didn’t mind where he did it. So you were sure there would be stains on either one.

“There she is.” Wade automatically silences the conversation as you walk out of the bedroom and back into the living room wearing only your favourite white lace panties and one of Logans’ hoodies, which looked oversized on your smaller body.

“Want the couch or the air mattress Bambi?” There it is. You still had the towel in your hands, and you were drying your hair as you sat next to him on the couch.

“Yea I had a question for you about that.”

“What’s up?”

“Is the couch even…” You look at Wade. “Clean?” You ask it in the nicest way you can, and the sight of Althea suddenly breaking out in laughter seems to stun Wade.

“Careful now, don’t want to have a stroke.”

“Oh fuck you.” She stops laughing and looks in your general direction. “Want my honest input.” You nod, but then remember she’s blind.

“Yes, please.”

“Sleep on the floor.” She tells you, then stands up with her walking cane, and heads towards her room, closing the door behind her.

“Logan, where would you rather sleep?” You expect him not to answer, and to just tell you that where he sleeps is based on your answer.

“I’d prefer the couch, an air mattress is like sleeping on a damn rock.”

“Can I just… Can I just sleep on you?”

“Oh. My. God. You better say yes, she’s offering to sleep with you.” Wade stands up from the couch, stretching in place before heading to Althea's room. They sleep together?

“Wade, we sleep together all the time.” Logan sighs.

“It was supposed to be a sex joke, Sheldon Cooper.”

“Who…?”

“Ignore it…” Logan holds his hand out, preventing you from saying anything else.

“Goodnight, Peanut. Goodnight, Bambi!” He calls from the room before closing the door, and you can hear the sound of him throwing his jeans down on the floor before the bed in the room creaks under his weight.

“So…”

“What do you mean sleep on me?” Logan asks, interrupting you.

“I mean like… You sleep on the couch, and I sleep on your body. Like you’re my bed.” He stares at you for a moment, as if deciphering your request.

“Yea… Yea, we can do that, that’s okay.” He groans as he stands up, tossing his beer bottle in a pile of more bottles, some broken from previous other bottles being tossed on them.

“I’m gonna eat first though, does Wade have anything to drink?” You ask, standing up as well, and skipping a little to his fridge.

“Ugh… I know he has beer.” He tells you, opening another closet and pulling out a few blankets as you open the fridge and search for something other than alcohol. You simply will not touch it.

“Gross… Is the sink water-”

“Don’t even think about drinking the sink water.”

“What does he give her?” You point down at the slobbery looking dog that’s been snoring this entire time, kicking her legs in her sleep.

“Probably his own saliva.” He tells you, and it almost sounded serious as he covers the couch in clean blankets. “Did you bring your hairbrush?” You nod, walking back over to the couch. “The beer?” He quirks his eyebrow, reaching down to find the hairbrush in the duffle bag.

“Beer is gross.”

“Grab me one then.” You turn back around, opening the fridge again to grab a beer for him. “Sit here.” He points to the couch, and you sit exactly where he’s pointing, and he sits behind you on the back of the couch as you’re seated between his legs.

“Thank you baby.” He takes the beer from your hands, and removes the few braids he was able to get in from that morning and afterwards he pops the beer open.

“How does your ear feel?” He asks once they’re all out, gently touching your ear with his fingers and stroking the fur gently, causing you to purr quietly.

“It’s fine, it was just a poke.”

“Good, I didn’t mean to hurt you Bambi…”

“I know, it was my fault. I moved.” He doesn’t say anything back, instead, he grabs the hairbrush and begins to gently brush through your hair, and again, as always, he’s careful to avoid your ears, using his hands to gently pull threads of your hair off the fur.

“Are you sure you don’t want the couch to yourself?”

“Logan, you know I don’t like sleeping alone.”

“I know, Bamb. Just trying to make conversation.” He tells you, and you reach forward, him gently letting go of your hair so he doesn’t pull it as you grab two cheese pizzas, the pineapple box completely empty.

“You have to drink something.” He continues brushing your hair, occasionally taking a sip of his beer as he focuses on brushing.

“I know, but beer is gross… We can always go out and get apple juice in the morning?” You suggest, and he sighs behind you.

“You haven’t drank anything all day.” He tells you, and you look up and over your shoulder at him as he sets the brush aside and puts more of the liquid in his mouth, you watch as his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows.

“I’ll be alright.” You tell him as he stares down at you, and his right hand finds your chin as he lifts your face up slightly. Then he presses a single kiss to the corner of your lips, pulling back for a moment to take another swig of his beer, and his lips find yours fully now. His fingers squeeze your jaw carefully, but enough to force your own lips open, and he spits the alcohol into your mouth, making you involuntarily pull away but he keeps you still, replacing his mouth with his hand and covering your nose as well so you’re forced to drink the foul liquid.

“Now we either do that about five more times, or you drink the rest yourself.” He tells you, holding the half-filled bottle up to your eye level.

“Fine…” You groan, taking the bottle and sipping from it as he watches you.

“Good girl…” Your tail begins to wag on its own again at his praise and he removes his shirt before lying down on the couch with only a lamp on a small table next to the couch to illuminate a small portion of the room.

“Do I have to drink it all?”

“Just half is okay.” He tells you, and you close your nose before downing half of what he’s given you, hacking a little at the taste.

“Done.” You hold out the bottle to him, and he takes it, swallowing the rest before tossing the bottle towards the rest as before.

“Alright, lie down…” He pats his stomach a little, and you quickly crawl on top of him, taking a soft blanket from the side with you.

“So… since we’re living with Wade now…”

“You don’t have to ignore him…” He answers your question before you even finish asking it, and he shuts off the light behind him, casting the room in darkness, barely seconds later you feel his hand on your head as he gently scratches that spot behind your ear, making you purr.

You were relieved you wouldn’t have to ignore Wade, considering you’d be living with them for who knows how long.

“Just don’t ever sleep with him when I’m not here.”

Tags: @shybluebirdninja @atomicheartbroken @hazydespair

[nomoreusername]

The Past

Pairing:Gally x female reader

Summary:When you want to find the truth, you inject yourself with a stinger.

It was a bad idea. Maybe. Probably.

Yeah. It was a really dumb idea.

Nevertheless, I barely hesitated to do said idea.

I don't trust many people. I don't think any of this makes sense. I don't think Teresa and I have any correlation to the Maze.

I had to know for sure though.

That's why I stabbed myself with the Griever stinger before anybody could actually register it. I grabbed the stinger and jammed it into my leg, immediately sending me to the ground. The world around me blurred as my eyes shut.

I seemed to be floating outside of my body, watching years and years ago. I mean I’m assuming so, judging by the way that I seemed to be watching a smaller me interacting with somebody familiar.

“I don't want them to take me,”I whispered, clinging to someone who was so close to my memory yet I couldn't put my finger on it.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll see you soon,”the boy promised.

I know that face and voice. I swear I do, but everything's a mess. Everything is blurry.

“Alby, I don't trust them,”I pleaded.

“But-”

“I know you don't, but you have to go with them. Just for now,”He pushed.

“Y/N, it's-”

“Y/N, look at me,”He pushed, his voice firm and urgent. I stood straight up as I did as he said, wiping my eyes a little. “Listen to them for now. It's the only way we’re safe. Okay?”

“Okay,”I nodded.

“We just-”

“Don't touch her,”Alby interrupted, pulling me behind him.

“It's just-”

“She doesn't like being touched,”Alby said firmly.

“So do not touch her. Ever,”He warned.

“Fine. Y/N, come on.”

The words were slurred again despite people’s lips moving. I looked closely, almost squinting as I attempted to read them.

I didn't get that done before that feeling came back. The feeling of the world being one dimension. The feeling of everything being a rush.

Until it wasn't.

Until I was watching younger but slightly older me, standing in a room with what seemed to be Teresa.

“I don't know anyone. Not really. Only Thomas and Ava,”She admitted, her voice quiet.

“You can know me? If you’d like?”I offered.

“You wouldn't mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

“Because . . . you know?”

Know what?

“I do, but I’ll still be your friend?”I smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah. What's your name?”

“I’m Teresa,”She introduced, slowly holding out her hand to give me the option to shake her hand. Not demanding. Truly offering.

“I’m Y/N,”I introduced, accepting it.

The moment was sweet and genuine. It also explained why I had felt so drawn to Teresa, so determined to trust her.

Because some part of me knows her.

That was ruined by that blurry feeling though, as I was forced into some other time, some other memory that was barely a blur.

“We can trust her, Gally. She's my friend.”

First Alby, then Teresa, now Gally? What the hell? Do I just know everyone in the Glade?

“Well, I don't trust her. Not one bit,”He argued.

“Well, I trust her. Isn't that enough?”

“It usually is, but not for something like this.”

“For something like WC-”

“For something like what? Just stop dancing around it, and spit it out already.”

“Y/N,”a firm yet almost soft, enthusiastic voice greeted. I snapped my head at the same time as younger me to see younger Alby.

“Alby,”I greeted back, running up and swiftly throwing my arms around him. He hugged me back, relief written all over his face.

“Have you been okay lately?”

“As good as it gets in here,”I shrugged, pulling away.

“And you’ve been behaving in front of them, right?”

“Ehh. I’m working on that part.”

I turned around at the sound of footsteps to see that Gally was leaving, hands in his pockets as he thought about whatever that conversation was.

What was it though? I don't quite get it. Everything is so vague, and it's like something is almost clicking but not quite ready.

I didn't get to find out though, before I was in front of a new scene. One with a slightly older but still younger Teresa.

“It's just odd sometimes, you know? Being in this one space with one person almost all day, every day. It's isolating,”She ranted.

“It’d be weird if it didn't seem like that sometimes,”I shrugged.

“It's supposed to be the right thing though, and I want to do the right thing. I have to do the right thing.”

“You don't have to do anything. You want to do the right thing. It’s different,”I argued.

“Not with them, it's not,”She mumbled.

“There's always a choice. Granted, it might have consequences, but there are choices nevertheless.”

“I don't even know what the consequences would be. That means I have to keep doing this, for everyone.”

“For the world you mean?”

“Yeah. For the world,”She nodded.

What is Teresa doing for the world though? What am I missing?

As the world blurred, it was clear I wouldn't find out here.

“Just trust her, okay? We can trust her,”I almost pleaded, back to standing in front of Gally.

“No. I can't trust her. I won't.”

“Gall, just for a little? Just give her a chance? She deserves that,”I said firmer.

“I can't just give her a chance. If it was different, fine, but it isn't. Her side is different.”

Side? What side? What am I missing?! What exactly am I missing?!

“She's conflicted, but she isn't bad. I have trust in her. I always have.”

“And it's great. It's great that you can see the good, but I don't. I just can't.”

Why is she bad? How could she be? She's one of the only people here I’ve actually liked. She's been nothing but kind, and having another girl there has been a lifesaver.

I didn't get to think about that either as the world did the obnoxious blur thing that made me want to rip my hair off yet again.

“Would you have done it any differently? If you knew it would end like this?”

Gally’s voice was much softer this time and far more kind. It was sympathetic even. Even though the words could have been described as gotcha, it was clear they weren't meant to be like that.

“No. Not really,”I answered.

The memories were strange. They were in order, but I can't tell what it means. There's surely supposed to be another message, but said message is unclear.

“You’ll miss me though, right?”He whispered.

My expression dropped as I looked at him. Without a word, I grabbed his hand, lacing our fingers together.

“I’ll miss you every day,”I whispered, placing my free hand on his cheek.

Every part of me burned as it felt like I was intruding on a moment I wasn't supposed to see. Even though they're my own memories, the closeness seemed private, like I had to cover my eyes.

What was even more surprising is that he kissed back. He put his free hand behind my head and accepted the kiss with a kind of gentleness I didn't know he had.

Without a word, I pressed my lips against his for just a moment. Even though I kind of expected it, I was still caught off guard. I mean me kissing someone isn't something I could predict, much less me kissing someone I currently know.

I didn't get to see that side for long before the blur came back even worse. Nobody was talking, but there were voices that were far too loud and blending together. Everything was turning dark as well, like my eyes were being forced shut.

“Think she’ll wake up soon?”

Wake up? Why do I need to wake up?

“I think so. She has to, right?”

As I had this hell of a headache, I found myself staring at light. Squinting, I covered my eyes as I very slowly sat up.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I uncovered my face to see Gally. Immediately, my face burned at the memory from who knows how long ago. And he doesn't even know.

Speaking of not knowing, what about Teresa? I have to talk to her, right? See if I can find out what happened?

“I’m fine. Teresa though, where is she?”

“Why?”He asked quickly.

“Why what?”

“If we can sacrifice them to-”

“Why does it matter where she is? All of this is because of her and Thomas.”

“Where is Teresa?”I repeated.

Not needing to hear anything else, I stood up, rushing past him and out the door. The second I stepped out, I saw chaos all around me, fire having burned the Glade to the ground and destruction everywhere. Absolutely nothing was saved. Nothing.

It can't be her fault though.

“Do you see? Our home is gone,”He justified, walking out and standing beside me.

“She doesn't have anything to do with it,”I restated.

“Y/N, her and Thomas are trouble. They have been from the start.”

“So Teresa is trouble, but I wasn't?”

“It's just different, okay?”

“Why? Because we kiss?”

“What?”He asked quickly, the confusion at my words becoming clear as day. I internally cringed at my hotheaded words as I remembered that he doesn't know.

And right now my instincts are telling me to look for them.

It doesn't matter though. I have to get Teresa and Thomas. Even if I seem like the worst person ever for this, even if I’m wrong, I have to follow my instincts.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 77)

Khan was looking over a blueprint of the bunker, taking note of every empty hallway, abandoned room, and silent space.

There used to be so many more of them, a population over several thousand strong, living on the surface, it fell a bit when they retreated into the bunker, people locked outside when the doors shut for the first time, but there were still so many of them.

And yet… their population had fallen and had kept falling, a joint effort from the disassembly drones hunting and a falling birthrate, nobody wanted to have kids with a looming threat over their heads, and despite the bunker being safe, there were reasons people would go outside, the bunker ran on solar power, and those were outside… you do the math.

That was something they didn't have to worry about anymore, but now there was so much space that was left unused that he didn't know what to do with. A part of him wanting to keep these places accessible… in hopes that eventually the bunker would be full again. But another wanted to make use of the extra material, perhaps to reinforce the sections that were being used.

He was interrupted by a loud and urgent knock, pulling his head out of the sprawling blueprint with a jump. He sighed as he took a final sip of coolant before stretching, every gasket in his spine decompressing with a loud hiss.

He left his home office and made his way to the door. Expecting another visit from Dale, that man was exceptionally not happy with N and V moving into the bunker, and had been complaining to Khan ever since he'd found out about it.

He understood his qualms, Dale had lost his entire family to them over the years, it was why he dedicated the rest of his life to the protection of the bunker from the outside. But since day one, the man had been extreme.

Dale suggested that they booby trap the first door so that any drone that tried to get in would be summarily lit on fire, and it took too much convincing from both himself and Hal on why that would be equally dangerous to anyone needing to do maintenance on the doors or the solar panels.

Dale then moved on to outright demanding that they send an armed force to attack the disassembly drone “nest” (his words, not Khan’s.) head on.

Hal about strangled Dale for that, “We've lost enough people! Are you outta ya mind?!” He screamed, pressing him up against a wall, gripping Dale's shirt.

Hal had chilled out quite a bit in age, but when younger he had a little bit of temper problem.

He opened the door not to find Dale wanting to go on another drunken tirade, but his daughter, stress present on every feature of her face, his granddaughter (oh that was still exciting to say) tucked in her arms protectively, with N in behind her looking grim.

He immediately knew something was wrong.

“Uzi, N. What's the matter? Is everything okay?” His first thought was that, somehow, Uzi had lost the baby, but another minute of looking at the both of them took that thought away, they both looked more concerned then heartbroken.

“Sorry for barging in dad but… this is kinda urgent.” Uzi explained and Khan moved to the side to let them in. He noticed the way N's tail was arched around Uzi, not quite wrapping around her, but being angled in a way that he could pull her into him at a moment's notice. What has got him so on edge.

“It's not a problem. What's wrong dronelette?” Khan’s voice was as soft as he could make it, difficult due to how deep his voice was naturally, but it was an attempt all the same.

“Okay. Sit. I have a presentation for you, and I don't think you're going to like it.” Uzi led him down to sit on his own couch, a small wary smile breaking onto his face.

“I feel like that's become a pattern.” He chuckled, and for a moment she smiled back.

“For once, it's not about me.” And then the moment was over, stress lines returning as she sat Tera up next to him, his granddaughter smiling and belting “Pop Pop!” At the top of her lungs.

His core felt like it had been punched, and he immediately took her into his lap, he noticed her fangs, but said nothing, Nori had them too, it wasn't that strange.

In a moment, N had made a projector with his hand, displaying a slightly fuzzy, yellow tinted hologram onto his coffee table, his immediate thought was if N would allow him to take a look on how that functioned, but that thought was immediately taken away by Uzi's voice.

“Okay so N and I were outside, uh -” She didn't want to freak her father out by telling him about the nest N made, so she stammered slightly. “-Scavenging, for old times sake, when he found this.”

The blank hologram fizzled into the figure of a drone, limping and acting erratic, strange tendrils snaking up it's back, before it's head came off, and a thick black appendage was released from it's cavity.

Khan’s eyelights went hollow immediately, equal parts disgusted and horrified. What the hell was that?

“Before you ask, no, that's not the worst part.” Uzi seemed to read his mind as the hologram fizzled again, this time into a fairly accurate model of Copper-9 itself.

“This, is the worst part.”

A huge hole opened up on the side of the holographic planet, exposing the nonexistent core, tendrils snaked out of it before it fizzled into a closer, more detailed view of flesh and bone from the ground and slightly above.

Yeah, that was way worse.

“This… thing. Opened up not too far from here, N and V already scouted it, it's too big to burn, and any explosive would put the rest of the planet at risk.” His eyes turned to his daughter, her body language erratic, her tail was free without her notice, twitching like it was irritated. Despite her composed speech, she was on the verge of falling apart.

“We need to evacuate the planet, a-all of us, because this thing is spreading, and if you touch it it turns you into that.” The hologram switched back to the drone with the tentacle for a head.

“And you are literally the only drone I know who everyone would actually listen to if you told them to. So…”

Khan was speechless for a moment, all the information bouncing around in his head like an arrant pinball. Eyelights frozen hollow and his mouth agape.

She wasn't wrong, that hole looked like it went straight to the center of the planet, and if that was the case, more holes would surely follow, like a worldwide sinkhole.

But.. leaving the planet?

He had respect sure, and he was certain he could at least get all of his team of engineers in board, they were all itching for a challenge. But he knew getting everyone on board wouldn't be easy…

“That's a lot to ask… even for me.” He finally found some words, even as they came out choked. “This is our home Uzi, we don't know anything else.”

He was including himself, logically, she was absolutely correct, evacuation was the best course of action. But he'd been built here, built, worked, loved, lived an entire lifetime on this planet. And leaving it - that was scary.

“Dad, if we don't leave we're all going to die. There's no… hiding from this. There won't be a planet to call home anymore.” Uzi stepped towards him, almost pleading.

“I-I don't know, m-maybe if we vacuum seal the doors-” He stammered, looking for another solution, a familiar one instead of one so bathed in uncertainty.

“Please Dad, just trust me!”

And suddenly he was back in that dreadful moment, Uzi panicking, bladed wing impaled through her shoulder, pleading with him to just point and shoot and to trust her. Where his body was trembling watching that murder drone - N, drool all over the floor in prep for his next meal.

His greatest regret. And a chance to redeem himself.

He looked down at his granddaughter, all smiles, looking up at him with such wide eyes, eyes that reminded him so much of his little girl… that was now pleading for him once more.

He'd listen this time.

“I-I, Okay. We'll try.”

Next ->

[ghoulie-67-baby]

No choice - Luke Alvez.

Summary: A deadly mistake by the local police department forces a haunting choice.

Warnings: General criminal minds issues, weapons, blood, death, disassociation, angst, fluff, crying, language, pet name.

Pairing: Luke Alvez x fem!reader (platonic/ otherwise).

Notes: Cariño = Sweetheart/Darling (Cambridge dictionary has a few different meanings).

Word count: 1,901.

The profile was racing through my head as the SUV sped down the highway. Our unsub had been through so much pain in her life. I didn't condone what she had done for a second, her victims may have been disgusting people but no one deserved death, especially not under the torturous circumstances she had carried it out. But there was a part of me that couldn’t help feeling pity for her, sad for the life she had been dealt and empathy for the horrific life she had been thrown into. It still didn't make murder acceptable.

The vehicle skidded to a stop, all of us filing out fully geared up and waited as Prentiss gave us all fair warning.

"She won't hesitate to attack if she's cornered, everyone needs to be on high alert and nobody goes anywhere without backup. Understood?" The team let out various mutters of agreement, upholstering our weapons before splitting up to find her. Alvez and I nodded to each other as we took the path towards the barn. I muttered for him to hang back just outside the door so I could shout for him if I needed help. She didn’t like men, hated male cops and Alvez being in there with us would mean she wouldn’t back down.

The door groaned in protest as I nudged it open, instantly focusing my weapon on the woman in the centre of the space. Wild eyes met my own as she spun in my direction, blade in hand as she froze.

"Carly, I'm Y/N with the FBI, I'm going to need you to put down the weapon." I kept my voice steady and gentle as she weighed up the situation, but didn't lower the weapon. I couldn't help but be glad Alvez had waitied outside knowing he was there if I needed the backup.

"I'm not going to jail." Her voice was hoarse and unsteady, making me twitch at all the different ways the scenario could end. "Do you know what they did to me?"

"I just want to talk Carly, put down the knife." I nodded towards the outstretched blade, trying my best to keep the situation calm. "I know they hurt you, I know they put you through so much when you were too young to understand and I know it left you feeling damaged and scared but I'm here to help you."

"You know," The blade lowered slightly and I held back a small smile of victory. "They would use me. They would make me watch and join in and I was just a kid. They'd make little games out of it, see how far I could run before they caught me and did what they wanted." I suppressed a shiver as her eyes filled with tears, recalling the sudden onslaught of unwelcome memories.

"I know and I'm so sorry but they're all gone now Carly, remember, you put an end to them. You stopped them from hurting anyone else and you saved so many other little girls." I explained, hoping the admission would put her more at ease. "You just need to come with me so we can get you some help, you can finally tell your story." Her limp, dirty hair bounced as she nodded furiously, she needed people to know what those bastards were really like, why she had to put an end to them and a dark part of me couldn't help but understand.

"I'll come with you but I don't want to be left alone with any guy cops okay? You have to stay with me." I bit the inside of my cheek. I couldn't exactly stay by her side forever but I could at least do this for her arrest.

"I can do that but we all need to be safe okay?" I nodded, looking pointedly at the blade once more. She began to lean down to place it by her feet when the front entrance swung open behind me, flashlights and the local police barging in.

"You liar!" Her voice was shrill, eyes full of fear and fire as noise erupted into the barn. Her grip tightened on the blade and with a screech of anger she ran at me with it raised. I tried to shout back, to tell her to stay calm and it was a mistake but she wouldn’t listen.

My shots rang out through the barn as she charged towards me and I froze as she crumpled before me like a puppet without its puppeteer. The noise around me filtered into the background as I froze, eyes impossibly wide and hands shaking making my gun rattle in my hand.

Tears filled my eyes as the hum of voices got louder, almost deafening. I could just make out a group arguing against another group and Luke’s shouting came into focus amongst the crowd. He was yelling at the local PD for rushing in, creating unnecessary danger, and telling them I had it handled but they didn’t want to hear their mistake.

“I was outside for a reason. You didn’t need to shoulder barge past! You should have just listened! We had here where we needed her and you trashed it.” His anger and frustration put me more on edge, and my knees began to tremble. "She could've killed our agent!"

My eyes were on fire but I couldn’t blink, like I had no control of my bodily functions. My chest rattled in tandem with my gun and all I could smell was nitroglycerin and the dampness of the barn being infested with the metallic blood. The pool of blood was growing under her body, hay floating in the crimson as it spread towards my feet.

“Hey, Y/N,” The voice was gentle and a hand cupped my elbow gently but I couldn’t move to look. “You okay? Are you hurt?” Luke’s face came into my peripheral and I begged my body to move my eyes to him but to no avail. He must have realised my eyes were fixed on Carly and stepped in front of me tentatively, movements slow and smooth as if trying not to startle a scared animal.

“Y/N, can you look at me?” my eyes seemed to just look through his chest as he placed his hands on my gun and slipped it carefully from my white-knuckled grip, handing it off to someone on the side. “Y/N, look at me.” His voice was a little firmer this time and it took every ounce of my strength to flick my eyes up to his, vision blurred by the obscuring tears.

My hands were clasped in his, pressed against his chest from where they’d stayed frozen after removing my weapon and I flexed them slightly, taking a grip on his t-shirt, his vest having been discarded already.

“Hey,” he whispered, a gentle smile on his face. “There you are. Can you hear me, Cariño?” I nodded jerkily, scalding tears finally falling down my cheeks as I gasped in a breath, the world finally coming back into an overwhelming focus. “You’re okay, you doing great. Are you hurt?” This time I shook my head, taking an unsure step closer to my teammate despite my shaking knees.

“Okay, we need to get you out.” My eyes finally blinked, tracing over the barn, noting the concern of the rest of my team and the questioning looks of the PD. “Can you walk with me?” His hands ran down my arms to hold my elbows as I nodded. My steps were unstable and numb as we stepped back out into the sunlight, the light making me wince but I focused on the earth crunching under my feet, the smell of fresh air and the warmth beside me.

The SUV came into focus as we passed the cruisers, making our way behind our big vehicle and away from prying eyes.

“Sit down Cariño,” The door opened and Luke lifted me by the waist so I sat with my legs handing out the door, eyes level with him. “You feeling okay?”

“Yeah.” The word held such a blatant lie and tasted sour on my tongue. In my head I was screaming, clawing at my own mind in anger, shock, and regret but I didn’t have the energy. I wanted to scream at the officers for barging in, wanted to claw at them for ruining it, for making her look at me with such fear but my body didn’t react.

“Y/N, you’re lying to me.” The accusation was gentle, his voice soft as his brows furrowed in sadness. “It’s okay that you’re not but you can’t bottle it.” More tears fell at his words and I clasped onto his hand, needing some form of comforting contact.

“I shot Carly.” My voice sounded dead, monotone. “I shot her because she ran at me with the knife.” Dark brown eyes bore into mine as I confessed. “I shot her because they didn’t listen to you. She was scared and angry. She wanted it to end. She was ready to come with me, she was putting the blade down and they fucked it up.” The dam finally burst as all my words flooded out like the tears that tracked down my face. “They fucked up and I had to kill her because she would’ve killed me.” I gasped out, my heart hammering in my chest and my throat tightening.

“I know, it wasn’t your fault.” He assured me but his words felt wrong. I shot her, pulled the trigger and watched her fall. That was me. That made it my fault. “It's not your fault Y/N, you know that right?” I froze at his question, not knowing how to answer it. Yeah, I shot her but if they hadn’t run in then it wouldn’t have happened.

“I shot her Luke,” my voice broke, trailing off on his name. “She was 19, she was so young and I just shot her.” My stomach curdled at the thought.

“You had no other choice Y/N, she would’ve killed you.” I nodded at his words knowing deep down that it was true. “You did your job, you followed protocol and you’re alive because of it.”

“She had her life ahead of her.” Yes, it would most likely be in prison or a mental health facility but she deserved to live, she’d already been through enough. “She was still a baby.” My voice cut out into a wail as my chest seized in pain, my face scrunching in agony as it hit me like a truck.

“She was practically a child.” I slumped forward, caught by Luke’s body as I fell into his shoulder, face buried in the crook of his neck as I cried. Strong arms wrapped around me as I shook us with my cries, the force of it making my chest heave. He sat silently, patiently waiting as I let out my grief into his shoulder, fingers clenched in his shirt.

“You’re okay Cariño, you’ve got this,” His words were so gentle, so soft as my cries settled back down. “I’ve got you.” My heart melted, feeling safe with him as he walked me through the onslaught of emotions. I knew he had my team's backs, knew he had my back, he would always be by my side and although it didn’t solve this issue, it sure as hell made me feel a degree better.

[jewish-vents]

'bout a month and a half ago I sent in a rant about how scared every Jewish person has been since 10/7, since "the world stopped pretending it cared about us" well I'm done being scared. Now I'm just fucking angry. I'm angry that people think we deserve this. I'm angry that people are spreading misinformation on purpose. I'm angry that I can't do anything except pray that things will turn out okay. I'm angry that they get to march in the streets and I'm forced to stay inside so I don't get stabbed. I'm angry that they get to scream in my face how I'm a "colonizer, genocide supporter, kill babies for fun" and I'm forced to stay quiet so that I don't get killed. I'm angry that they get to shut down bridges, airports, disrupt society, riot, be violent and everyone calls it activism. But if any Jew dares to ask that our family be released from their torturous kidnappers we're jumped on. I'm angry that Jews are celebrated for 'refuting their Jewishness' but to denounce Hamas is something none of these people can seem to do. I'm angry that nobody fucking cares.

I wish I could punch someone and call it 'activism'. I wish I could march in the streets begging for my family to be saved. I wish I could scream in the faces of the people who hang "rape is a valid form of resistance" posters. I wish I could do anything. but I can't even tell my classmates and coworkers why I'm not coming in on April 22nd, I can't explain why I can't answer an email on Saturday.

Thank you for reaching out again!

You know, it was quite cathartic to read your vent. I too feel angry, many of us do. And anger can be a scary emotion to have, especially when society tries telling us we're not allowed to feel it. But you are. Feel that anger, talk to it, understand it. It comes from a place of deep pain and betrayal, and like any other emotion it is not only valid but important. Hold your anger like it's a child and say what you wish people would say to you. Ask it things like "why do you feel angry? What do you want to tell me? For how long do you need to feel angry? How can I help you feel better when you're ready to feel better?". Within what's safe for you and others, don't shy away from your anger. If you need some ideas of ways to cope with that anger, to express it in healthy ways or to calm down, don't be afraid to reach out and ask.

Also important, don't let only anger exist. Remember to hold space for other emotions.

Stay safe, and honestly get rightfully angry once in a while

- 🐺

[starchants]

hi! i don’t know if you write for angel (btvs) but could you maybe write dating angel hcs? sfw & nsfw?

angel / angelus x neutral!reader ; dating headcanons.

word count — 994.

themes + warnings ; potentially a warning for stalking but like in the way that we see he does with buffy like idunno if that qualifies as stalking but i’m mentioning it, technically i refer to angelus (my bby) as well, some violence but like it’s protective angel and oh yeah a small bit of NSFW CONTENT.

author’s note — hi my lil starling <3! i do most certainly write for angel, i hope you enjoy <3! p.s. i’ve studied and have so many headcanons in my own mind about angel (and angelus) from over the years and some get displayed here but i can explain more in another post if you or anyone else wants !!

support mention ; if you feel like supporting, a nice ‘like’ will suffice on my blog, i know some writers love to ask nicely if you could reblog or comment etc. yet on my blog (no hate towards them as everyone likes appreciation in different ways), but if you’d like to reblog or comment feel free after all this is a safe space for any fan-individual to have fun :’)

masterlist

oh the moment he saw you, he was hooked and angelus who was so far hidden back in his mind had let his obsessive qualities come full force into angel.

everywhere at night since then, if he ever caught your scent or saw you, he would ✨ politely ✨ follow you around to make sure you felt and were safe. god help anyone who made you not feel safe at all, excluding him.

this man, even without fully having met you as of yet, would physically harm or potentially “accidentally” kill someone if they dare touch you even with a slight bumping into you or make you even the slightest bit uncomfortable.

realistically as i’ve noticed in btvs and angel the series + my own personal headcanon, angelus isn’t a 100% gone like they tend to try and portray in both series. sure like angel has his soul most of the time but that anger? how he moves or snaps when he loses his mind? how he seems to not entirely be himself when he loses control? that’s all angelus in my opinion. i personally headcanon had angel knows that angelus is always lurking in the back of his head, which is why he’s always in there, and angel is afraid of him coming out but as we’ve seen in both series that he basks in people referring to him as angelus sometimes and gets cocky about it.

so we move on with the knowledge that angelus is a sneaky bastard hiding in angel’s mind and sometimes pulling the strings 🫡

the obsession that angel has with you is completely different than his obsession with drusilla. he wouldn’t want to make you crazy or do anything to harm you. in fact, it’s the opposite, he wants to keep you safe from everybody and everything but also let you shine like the prettiest diamond in the dirty rough world that you’ve found yourself in.

the moment that he officially meets you and gets to see your pretty eyes staring into his own, the pretty smile upon your face, and your sweet voice talking to him ; he feels like this is perfectly meant to be. that you were meant for him and him only. he gets even more possessive and cocky about you from this moment forward. i’m referring to him being cocky as in, when buffy chose angel over riley and he smugly made that face at riley as he followed buffy like a puppy out of the room.

speaking of like a puppy, he tends to act that way with you! he’s your sweet good old boy who has playful tendencies and some anger problems but he does good if you try to teach him how to behave. after all, when he was alive as liam, he wasn’t exactly the nicest person to anybody let alone any partner. but he’s learned over the years, both with his soul and without it as angelus, that he has to be better when attempting to care. you are the only one who gets to teach him and show him how to be a good lover as you notice he’s trying, not to mention he will open up and explain how he was prior to you with his past relationships.

you like gifts? he’ll be very good at gifting you random things that he finds and knows you like or that you may potentially like based on what he knows about you. considering he listens and hangs on to every word that you say even if it’s a joke. if you like written love letters? oh my goodness this man has got you. he can say some of the most romantic things to you in his letters plus it’s more “old school” and easy for him to do. you’ll get some heavy devotion confessed in those letters so you better keep them in that pretty little wooden box that he buys you once he realized you left those letters by your bed <3

he’s a very gentle lover to you and not super controlling over you but he does know how to manipulate you / persuade you if he desperately needs to but you can usually tell and i feel like you’d call him angelus when he tries to do that. both himself and angelus are at your beck and call, even if neither one of them could admit it. now i can ramble on about soft angel and soft angelus some more but i feel like we should briefly get into some of the other good nsfw stuff 😈

angel is always in control no matter how hard you try to be in control. he is so used to being in control whenever he was angelus that he grasps at being in control over you whenever you have sexual relations, outside of that basically you are in control.

i feel like angel is a very gentle lover and of course definitely is experienced which can lead into him being a lot to take in / wrap your head around as he can be overwhelming with how much devotion and love he gives you. he pays nearly so much attention to you, it may freak you out with how sensitive he is when it comes to your micro expressions and movements. his goal is to ensure that you experience everything in the most euphoric sense.

angelus is a good boy once you break him down enough, and as i previously stated, happens to always be in control and if you take your time along with playing his games you will be rewarded overtime with him being your good boy to treasure. angelus wants you to perceive his role in life and break him down, play games with him, leave him sounding like a depraved lunatic man for you.

the pair of them love you so much and would do anything for you, especially in bed, just let them love you how they see fit damnit!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for leaving my friend groups Discord server?

💐💐💐 So I can find this later. For context, I was in 2 servers that were friend groups, where my friends would all interact with each other, play & stream games, etc. However, recently we had a situation where someone, let's call her Sasha, would send many vent messages in the general channel, then delete said message before we could respond or even look at the messages, & get mad at us for not responding. She'd also complain about everything that happened in her life, school, in games, & she'd always repeat the same things, over & over again. In the end, we got tired of how she was forcing everyone to stop being as active in the server because of her behavior & actions, so we all made another server, without Sasha, so we could interact with peace without her interrupting conversations. This all happened 3-4 months ago. Then 3 of the people in our new server got a game on Roblox, Deepwoken. Another person, let's call him Kevin, already had the game for a while, so they all got the game & started playing all together. They were incredibly passionate about it, it would be the only thing talked about. One of them got me the currency to get Deepwoken, so I could play with them all. A while later, I got a hang of the game, then when I asked if any of them could play with me, one of them, let's call him Tim, would keep telling me that "Oh, you have to play the game alone to get the real experience, & to learn things better." every time I would ask. Sometimes, rarely, they'd answer some questions I had about the game that I didn't quite grasp yet, & a lot of the time i'd just, not receive any answer. After a while, I got tired of how they didn't respond to me at all, so I just stopped playing. Keep in mind, I don't have any other friends that have the game, so I didn't have anyone else to talk to about it. I love my friends but I felt ignored & was hurt, so I passed ownership to another friend of mine, & left. About a day after leaving, I ended up feeling extremely depressed & overwhelmed with schoolwork, eye appointments, a random limb & joint pain that I had no idea why I was having, & I accidentally unfriended Tim. With my being extremely overwhelmed, thinking it was a good idea at the time, I sent him a message saying "accidentally unfriended u mb. u could also not accep, that works too" Then another message after that one, "okay well um, im gonna assume that you arent going to accept it again so thank you for all youve done for me before you say that im making it sound like i gave up; i have given up i gave up a little while ago" After that, I got a message from him saying that I needed to calm down, that my friend request wasn't the most important thing in his mind right now, & that he's allowed to put it on hold for at least a day before I start telling him some "nvm shit". I sincerely apologized & told him that I needed to take a break, that I hope he's doing okay, & that I hope college goes well for him. I did indeed, take a break, for only 2 weeks because I felt extremely guilty, stupid & reckless. Those weeks felt like forever because that whole thing was on my mind 24/7. It was eating me alive. & No, I am not saying to gain pity. Just trying to explain what I felt. Tim answered, told me that I should grow & change as a person, & that he doesn't mean it in a condescending way, that the server was meant to be a safe space, that in order to make everyone comfortable, there's some things we need to just not say or some things we need to think about a lot before saying them. It's the reason Sasha got booted, & that we give as much as we get. I'm reading back on his messages, & I didn't say anything in the server to make everyone uncomfortable. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[delusional-fantasising]

I Do Love You P2 (Soldier Boy x GN reader)

Okay this originally wasn't supposed to have a part 2 so it's may seem a bit clunky. The first part was just supposed to be how I see Soldier Boy's healing process and how it should go if he were to get a new love interest since I don't believe he would be able to move on from his traumas. I wrote something that I'm not the most proud of but if I wrote it the way I do want and envision I would have to write a multi chapter fanfic. Something I don't got the motivation to do since I am writing a few at the same time for other fandoms.

Summary: Reader tells him 'I love you' weeks ago and after a therapy session he decides to make the first few steps to overcome his trauma

Warnings: Mentioning of trauma, PTSD, clunky writing, and a different view on Soldier Boy (More vulnerable and softer version)

Word Count: 1181

________________________________________

“Benjamin, I want you to explain how you feel this way. Explain what happens.”

Soldier Boy was quiet as he tried thinking of all the feelings coursed through his brain when you told him ‘I love you’

His therapist was trying to help him find solutions to cope with his trauma of the betrayal that led to 40 years of torture. The supe was lying on his back staring up at the ceiling, a calculated stare that was emotionally distant. It’s been a month since the incident.

“I just feel… overwhelmed like when I’m going to have an episode. I- this is stupid,” He said as he got up and grabbed his coat, his therapist asked, “Do you love them too or is this a way of you avoiding your problems? If you do this you may distance yourself to try helping them but you will hurt them if you try pushing them away.”

Soldier Boy froze, his hand hovering above the door knob. Close enough to leaving but he remembered how much The Boys were making him go to therapy to cope with trauma in ‘healthy’ ways instead of just getting stoned all the time.

“Just after Crimson Countess, after her I don’t feel safe in a romantic space anymore…” He muttered, lowering his hand turning away from the door. Forcing himself to look in the eyes of the therapist. They questioned as they scribes notes about how Soldier Boy felt, “If you are so scared of loving or being loved why are you dating then? Do you think it’s a good idea leading someone on if you don’t love them?”

“No! It’s not that I don’t l-l0- you know the L-word. It’s just that what if they betray me like-”

“But they aren’t Crimson Countess though. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt, let them in. Talking about how you feel to loved ones helps many people,” His therapist spoke calmly, making him think of the possibility of opening up to you but he didn’t like being vulnerable not again. But he had to remind himself that you are your own person, you are nothing like Crimson Countess.

…

You were baking a surprise for Soldier Boy as a way to apologise for triggering him, you felt like you crossed one of his boundaries with the whole ‘I love you’ incident. Remembering how much he complains that the Apple Pecan pies today are too sweet and back in his day they tasted amazing, you did some research and found a recipe that was made around the time he was a teenager. The pie was almost down, you were squatting down in front of the oven watching through the window at the rising pie. The smell filling the air, making your stomach twist and growl. It was that strong urge to take the first slice made you feel guilty to want to indulge. Self control…

Soldier Boy entered the base not expecting the sweet smell of pie, freshly baked and he had stopped by a small flower shop to get a few of your favourite flowers while rehearsing a phrase over and over again in his head for you. His therapist told him that if he wants to show you how much he cares and likes you romantically he can’t be avoiding the 3 big words. He entered the kitchen and he froze when he saw you. You were sitting on your haunches staring at the pie slowly yet eventually rising like how he used to when he was younger before all the trauma. The immature unbridled joy in your eyes as you still haven’t notice him watching you till he let out a cough into his fist.

“OH!” You yelped as you spun around to face him, you start rambling and going on but he wasn’t paying attention he was in his own world. The world where he spent time just staring at every small feature like it was going to be the last time he will ever see you. His gaze unusually soft and he knew that this was no longer time to be stuck in the past but explore whatever the present and future throws at him because you were never anything like Countess.

“I just want to say what I said awhile back was going over a boundary and I am sorry. I understand if you hate me-”

“I don’t hate you though,” He stated abruptly as he knew what he had to do, he walked over. The sound of the plastic covering on the flowers crinkled as he tightened his grip. He never wanted you to hate him, ever since what happened to him he became more aware that if he gives a person a reason they will abandon him or stab him in the back.

Paranoia and the muscle tension going taut coming it’s to the peak till acceptance came over.

“Benjamin I just know that I want too far though and you probably felt rushed at the time. I understand what she did to you and I know that you are still struggling with that trauma,” You rambled, fidgeting with your fingers and your eyes dropping to your floor. He set the flowers onto the counter, grabbing your hands standing close to you. “It’s alright, I just want you to listen to what I need to say. Please…”

You went quiet to listen whatever he needed to say. The look of vulnerability peaking through, something rare that he has never done in awhile ever since an altercation with his son before the death of his only son.

“I know I can be an asshole. I know that I say shit that may hurt you or my actions hurt you but I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t mean to come off that way when you told me what you did… but I don’t hate you. It’s hard for me to love you but I do, I do love you but I need time. I need time to go slow,” Soldier Boy blurted out as his voice quivered when he admitted his feelings for once as if finally coming to terms. His eyes refusing to meet yours for the whole confession till the silence hung in the room for a painfully long time.

The silence was cut by the egg timer.

…

Soldier Boy is a man of his word…

-

Most of the time.

Billy and Hughie came back from a tiring mission, Hughie smelled pie and followed the scent. The kitchen was playing some old tunes from the 1940’s, he stands and pauses in the doorway wondering if he should just come back later.

Soldier Boy had his arm wrapped around your waist and his lips pressed against your forehead, slow dancing with you in the middle of the kitchen while the pie was cooling from being taken out of the over a few minutes ago. The soft swaying and him talking to you lovingly like how couples in old movies spoke to each other.

In love.

______________________________

@spnfamily-j2 @red22wolf

[itzrafee]

One Piece Chapter Discussion (Chapter 1126)

Ooh looks like the mystery continues with Yamato investigating the disappearances. I am so curious to see what kind of long lasting effects this will have as with this chapter we’re getting some resolution on a six to seven year old cover story. It’s nice to see Oda expanding on the story around Wano as it’s clear he had a lot of thoughts around it when he was writing it that he didn’t get to explore. I’m also quite curious as to what will happen with the cover stories the closer we get to the end. Whereas he has space to explore other facets of Wano through the cover story, is that something he’ll be able to do with Elbaph with it being so close to the end? Anyways, the rest of the discussion, which is spoiler filled, can be found below the cut!

I don’t know about y’all but I think it would be absolutely terrifying to be where the Straw Hats are in this first page if they weren’t allies with the giants. They straight up just kinda look like their dinner. But we’re not talking about Big Mom so I think the Straw Hats are probably safe. Also while somewhat terrifying, the designs of the Giants are great, they all ooze personality and joviality. I would not want to see them angry either. It’s interesting that the name of the absinthe they’re drinking is the “Green Fairy” and that it can cause hallucinations. Is that just set up to explain how and why the two parties got separated or is it set up for some absinthe-driven hallucinations? 

It’s interesting to me on a story structure level that this chapter kind of illustrates how Oda might have to delve into more slice of life stuff with the crew going forward. That before making this chapter important by flitting around the world and getting updates, Oda first spends some time with the crew just having fun and goofing off. It satisfies the pre-timeskip crowd clamoring for these types of scenes, me among that crowd.

This small sequence with Bonney also gets me right in the heart. Not only does she feel comfortable enough to finally be a child and not put on the airs of a grown adult that the One Piece world requires of people but also she gets to finally be free with her father. One Piece has this startling quality to it that makes the reality of war and oppression so real by contrasting the comedic with the emotional. And nothing hits quite as hard as the fate of the children of this series. We see through the suffering of the Straw Hats as children, Nami, Sanji, and Robin, among a few other characters throughout the series, on how oppression forces you to grow up and be stronger than any child should have to be. In recent arcs that oppression is a reality our young adult Straw Hats face head on. From Otama and Toko in Wano to the metaphors of growing up too fast that Bonney and Momo face us with, Oda is able to use these fantastical elements to deliver truths in more digestible ways. The tragedy of Momo and Bonney having to grow up so fast is such a potent and heart wrenching way to show this side of opression. But Oda is able to provide us with a catharsis that the real world so often denies by having Bonney feel safe again. By having Momo be safe and surrounded by loved ones.

Moving on from that dour and entirely too real note, we finally get a resolution on a cover story from wayyyy long ago where Bartolomeo burned down Shanks flag in Luffy’s name. And there’s a lot to talk about here. For such a fan-favourite and an audience surrogate for many, including myself, It’s odd that it’s been so long since we’ve seen Barto(don’t even get me started on Bon Clay!!). But it’s interesting that Oda seems to understand his impact as it seems like he’s being placed on the same level as Kid and Law in a way. Now this might be a little tin foil hatty of me but don’t you find it odd that Kid, Law, and Barto, all devil fruit users by the way, were all sunk at sea in the New World, the most dangerous sea maybe aside from the Calm Belt? 

And if we remember certain man with a burn scar who was first mentioned in chapter 1056(56=GoMu) and then again brought up in 1081 where it was mentioned that anyone who comes close to him gets swallowed up by whirlpools, I think we might have an option for what might’ve happened to those three. Adding on to that, if we go allll the way back to chapter 2 and full tin foil hat, we can see Luffy getting sucked into a whirlpool soon after he sets out on his journey but then bursting out of a barrel sometime after with Koby. In my head, I can totally see the aforementioned three joining Luffy on Elbaph, especially now that’s been separated from his crew. Maybe Luffy was also kidnapped by this whirlpool wielding man with a burn scar…again.

Okay, fanciful thinking aside we still gotta talk about how we’ve seen Shank’s main crew be ruthless badasses. Lucky Roux in Chapter 1 straight killed a dude while the whole crew laughed. Benn Beckman not only threatened Kizaru but also cut off Kid’s arm. And here, Yassop basically has a cannon attached to his gun and blows up a fleeing Barto Club. While these guys may seem easygoing, they’re still stone cold pirates. Also that ultimatum with the poison was pretty cold too. Barto’s ship blowing up also shows how lethal Yassop’s Haki must be, because I can imagine that Barto might’ve tried to shield his ship with his devil fruit.

I find it curious that Koby was so important to Blackbeard’s plans. I wonder if Blackbeard wanted to use Koby like how the Marines used Ace? We know how much Blackbeard’s plans mean to him. His scheming, though a lot of the time quite impromptu, is half the reason he’s an emperor already. And Blackbeard is in prime position to execute some big time operations. Not only does he have leverage in Garp(though thinking about it, wouldn’t the marines be glad to be rid of him?), he also has Pudding and all the knowledge Caribou brings. Oda makes it a point to show that Caribou has finally gotten to Blackbeard. It’s interesting that he’s surveilling the Revolutionary's too. Especially with Lafitte. Maybe he’s trying to get the heat off of himself by having Lafitte do some undercover hits and then blame it on the Revo’s?

Though, weirdly, the most important tidbit here to me is that Moria got away. It seems most likely that Moria will join Cross Guild as it seems to be the place for Warlord Alumni and Perona already has connections there in the form of Mihawk. I’d originally thought that Blackbeard was going to get Moria to reanimate Kaido, Big Mom, and Garp’s corpses with the obstacle standing in their way being that Blackbeard was responsible for Absolams death but now it seems like Moria’s going to be a player for Cross Guild, with at least the Yonkou resurrections still on the table. Also if Cross Guild is the place to be for former Warlords then we could see Boa join too. And maybe even Kuma and Doflamingo if the latter breaks out of Impel Down. Which I kinda hope he does just purely due to the fact that it might provide a path for Bon Clay to get out too.

This scene with Bonney and Jinbei is adorable but uhh, what’s Lilith staring at? Could she be communicating with Vegapunk?

Finally, in the last page we get some weird shenanigans happening. First, someone wakes Nami up but it appears that she’s alone. She’s had a change of clothes and seems to be in a lego house. The floor is kind of undeniable proof of that even if you want to try and explain away everything else. And finally, she seems to be alone. The going theory seems to be that this is Prince Loki’s lego house and that he’s playing with the StrawHats like toys. He could’ve been the one to call out for Nami. He could be a fan of the StrawHats. And honestly, that theory kinda makes sense, I totally subscribe to it. Loki could be a somewhat petulant giant like Big Mom. I also don’t think the impatient figure at the end of 1124 is him either as that seemed to be a human who was drinking, my going theory about that person being that it was Scopper Gaban, the third crew member of the Roger Pirates after Roger and Rayliegh. See ya next week!

[asher-agere]

Hi!!! Hi ashhh!! Hiii!!! Its my again the anon who asked for sskk headcannons. I think that at this point i should get an id emoji neh? Hm.... lets see... i have two seals plushies so lets go with 🦭! If you don't mind of couse hahaha

Anyway, thougths on a sleepy little dazai with cg chuuya? It's on their time in the mafia and both just got out of an exausting task mori gave for them... :3

I'd love to see your take on this qwq

(Totally not projecting a little because im reaally exausted with school stuff sjhskansj what? Never...)

-🦭 (ilyyyyy)

Yay another identified anon! I’ve noticed some anons are using emojis without asking, which I don’t mind! So those who are doing so don’t worry hehe. I can just get very confused cause I’m like- I don’t remember this emoji, it’d be so rude to say that though… Such a cute way to pick your emoji though! And school can be so exhausting :( I LOVE YOU TOO OMG PEOPLE ARE SO NICE

Warning! These two sillies are not standard sillies! There will be implied sensitive topics such as suicide, self harm, and body hatred. And there’s a brief mention of smoking! Stay safe everyone, don’t read or interact if these topics might be triggering!

Sleepy Little Dazai + Caregiver Chuuya

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

₊ ⊹ Working in the mafia can be such hard work! It’s always exhausting, mentally or physically… A lot of the time both actually. Especially with someone like Mori as your boss. He expects the best and only the best will survive. So they’re forced to be the best. Overall it makes every single mission exhausting and for Dazai, sometimes he just wants to be a little baby! Babies don’t need to work and stress about this stuff, so why does he have to? It’s no fair…

⛦ If after a mission Dazai starts feeling small then he tries pushing it away. Chuuya must be just as tired as he is, if not more so considering Chuuya is the brawn to his brains. What Chuuya needs is some rest. Not the burden of looking after a pathetic baby like himself. So he just ignores it! But it isn’t that easy. It isn’t long before it starts causing… Problems. Dazai is very familiar with the issues of pushing off his regression, but the symptoms never get any easier no matter how many times he does it

₊ ⊹ Everything starts off feeling a little fuzzy, a gentle request from his body which he ignores. But then it works up into a headache. Easy, Dazai is used to headaches! He can just tighten his bandages, pressure helps relieve pain! But doing things feels really hard… So he ends up sitting in the bathroom holding useless bandages and working himself up into a panicked frenzy. It just makes him feel smaller and smaller by the second… It’s not fair. Why can’t he just be normal? The Demon Prodigy shouldn’t be acting like a child

⛦ Luckily for times like this, Dazai isn’t trusted in a bathroom alone for very long (He doesn’t have a great track record). It isn’t long before Chuuya is knocking on the door to check on him. Chuuya will come into the bathroom and gently wrap the bandages around Dazai’s head for him (It’s much nicer when Chuuya does it anyway…), nice and snug to ward off headaches! Dazai is always quick to insist he isn’t a baby, so Chuuya will calmly explain that he’d do this even if Dazai wasn’t a baby. In that voice. That voice that is clearly intended for a baby. But how can he explain that?

₊ ⊹ Nicknames time! As usual the Soukoku classic, Chuuya definitely calls Dazai “Mackerel”! It’s especially helpful when Dazai claims he doesn’t want to be treated like a baby since Chuuya calls him that all the time. Overall it’s just trying to keep up the teasing atmosphere! Dazai doesn’t like change, so Chuuya will also just call him things like “Dummy” a lot. But sometimes when Dazai is deep enough into baby space he won’t object to things Chuuya can call him “Baby”, Dazai loves this one! He just usually objects to it. I also think Dazai calls Chuuya “Chibi”! It’s hilariously ironic considering how small Dazai feels, but of course he’s gotta act like he’s in control!

⛦ Missions can get messy, lots of injuries and sensory issues. Dazai tries to just quietly sit still as Chuuya treats any injuries, but by the end of it he’s a shaking sniffling mess… Especially something like stitches. Is it safer to take him to a doctor? Yes. But the mental toll that would take on him is to much. Better to just let Chuuya take care of it. Plus something like blood on his clothes? That feels so sticky and gross! He needs it off. But he doesn’t like bathing because he feels so exposed. I think seeing his body is a reminder that he exists, a reminder that he doesn’t appreciate

₊ ⊹ Bath time solution? Bubble baths! Bubble baths hide his body. Plus with Chuuya helping to wash him Chuuya can use special smelling soaps to encourage relaxation! I think Dazai struggles to sleep, poor baby definitely has nightmares, so sleepy time bath scents definitely help! Plus Chuuya gives him some clothes (Chuuya buys clothes that are too big for him so that they can fit Dazai). Being surrounded by the smell of Chuuya, cologne he uses, laundry detergent, maybe even the faint smell of cigarettes. It reminds him of Chuuya so it’s relaxing

⛦ As Dazai starts settling down Chuuya makes him some nice warm angel milk! He serves it in a sippy cup (Just to avoid spills! Not because he’s a baby. Of course not). Then they can just snuggle up on the couch and watch a show! Dazai hates the idea of sleeping, so Chuuya can’t create a sleepy atmosphere or the babies onto him! Both the couch instead of the bed and a show that should take focus are a very awake atmosphere! And with Dazai not thinking about sleeping he’s able to drift off in Chuuya’s arms

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

I love these two so so so so much. I have more thoughts on them but I tried limiting this to just relating to after mission/sleepy baby. ANYWAY HAVE A SUPER AWESOME AMAZING WONDERFUL DAY/NIGHT EVERYONE

[spacexfucker]

I had people in an autistic group on fb try to claim that their need for quiet (in public) superceded other disabled people's right to exist in public (if those people couldn't be quiet. Bc of things like stimming or meltdowns or tics). Most of the people in that group all agreed that "if you can't be respectful, you shouldn't be there". They tried to claim that bc intrusive sound can hurt them, people who cannot be quiet should be forced to stay home.

This is why I hate a lot of autistic spaces. Because they are full of people with opinions like this. People that believe that their comfort matters more than someone else's right to take public transport or be at the library or be at the park.

Because there's a lot of autistic people who believe that if you're too autistic or autistic in a "bad" way, that you should be isolated.

And when I tried to explain that autistic people like my daughter cannot control her stimming or the level of her voice in a meltdown, I had people telling me that I should keep her at home. That she's should have to be isolated so that other people wouldn't have to deal with the uncomfortable sounds.

When I said it was their responsibility to find ways to cope in public spaces, they said it was mine to "control (my) daughter". Many people said that I "just needed to work with her on this". And when I explained that even if it was something that could be addressed and something she could control, she still deserved to be in public in the meantime, they disagreed.

I'm autistic. But I'm low support. My daughter is high support. Before she was born, I thought autistic spaces were safe. It was nice finding people like me. But now that I'm older and have a high support kid, I'm realizing that a lot of those spaces aren't safe. And that they're filled with low support people who haven't unlearned any abelism except the kind that effects them specifically. That those spaces are bad at best for high support autistic people and straight up dangerous at worst.

There IS a difference between people diagnosed young and late diagnosed people. And the internalized abelism late diagnosed people have and their desire to be accepted as autistic very frequently hurts the most vulnerable of us. High support autistic people who depend on caretakers and alternative communications should absolutely not be isolated. And it causes harm to even imply they should be.

How you feel in public places around other people and how they sound or look is something you have to personally navigate, not something you can shame others into isolation for.

Those same people on other posts would talk about how disabled people used to not get to be in public and then turn around and say this shit with zero reflection.

They would wax on and on about how you shouldn't force someone to stop stimming and how we needed to make stimming accepted but would turn around and say that "well, if it's too loud or too much for others, you should get them to stop". Zero sense of irony.

Autism is not only your experience. It is not just masking and freeing yourself from it. It is not only quirky but reasonable behavior. It's not just being awkward in social situations. So many late diagnosed and low support autistic people still retain large amounts of abelism. You cannot just unpack it for yourself. You have to unpack it for us all.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

OMG I SO SORRY FOR THE ASK I HADN'T FINISHED IT I WAS ASKING ABT YOU GIVING ME SOME WRITING TIPS AND IT AUTOCORRECTED WHEN I WROTE I BC MY PHONES MESSED UP LIKE THAT AND I DIDNT REALISE OML I'M SO SORRY PLZ FORGIVE ME MOOT PLEASE I LOVE YOUR WRITING I PROMISE ESP YOUR BUCKY FICS AND THAT I'M SORRY

no worries, honey.. i figured that was the case. you want writing tips?? Sure.

Never force your writing. If ideas don't come to your mind, don't force them. It will sound like hell, and you will indeed hate yourself over it. Are you stuck on a scene in your writing? Skip it and write what comes after. The words will come eventually. I can't tell you how many times I was stuck on a scene to write out the following few scenes after, and then the scene I was stuck on came back to me in droves.

Write what YOU love and what YOU want to write if you don't want to write out a request/idea someone sent to you, then don't. You don't need to explain yourself. Don't feel as though you HAVE to accept a request from someone; you'll burn yourself out and hate yourself worrying over the request/idea.

Write about whatever you want to: your favourite character/blurbs. Write new AUs, write angst, fluff, smut, whatever you want. Ignore the antis; every fandom has them, and it's honestly not worth the time and effort. Block the people who try to bash you for writing a character/pairing they don't like. Fandoms are meant to be a fun, safe space. Write what you want, and love every word of it.

Don't proofread ANYTHING until you know you're finished with your piece of writing/art.

Get an extra set of eyes to look over your work, whether it's some stranger on the internet you trust or a person in person who you trust to be completely honest with you about edits/scenes you need to rewrite/whatever else they might ask. Sometimes, when we look over our writing, our brain ignores the mistakes, so get an extra set of eyes.

You don't have to post every day/week/month to be a writer. You're still a writer if only one word gets written/typed daily. Take care of yourself first & foremost. I know writers on tumblr/ao3 that have burnt themselves out writing nonstop, it's not mentally safe to force yourself to write just for a few commetns/reviews/kudos.

Which brings me to Ao3/Tumblr stats. DON'T compare yourself to other writers. EVER. Yes, there's always going to be a fic that's more popular then yours will EVER be. & that's totally fine. Whether you get one like/kudos/comment, or a thousand of them. ENJOY WHAT YOU DO! because guess what?? As they say on Whose Line Is It Anyway? THE POINTS DO NOT MATTER! you're writing for FUN, no other reason!!!

You'll be your absolute worst critic when it comes to your own writing. Don't be too harsh on yourself. The reason why you hate your own writing and think it sucks & nobody is going to read it is because you've read it over numerous times yourself and found it to be predictable; NEWSFLASH, DING DING! It's NOT!!

You will ALWAYS improve your writing. I recently went back to look at a bunch of my own writing from 2018 and noticed how much I've improved since then. Yes, the writing makes me cringe, but that's entirely okay. It means I grew as a writer.

Experiment with Aus that you wouldn't see in canon. I tend to always, always go for a good ole Mafia AU, because, let's face it, guns?? blood?? gore?? but also, fluff?? baking cookies with your lover ay 3am AU?? hellooo?? I never know where my mind will take me when I start a new drabble/one shot.

11. Take your time; don't rush a word out.

[sophieinwonderland]

I cut out the link since I'm blocked by the account. Tumblr doesn't give clear instructions on what to do if you get an anon ask about a blog that has you blocked, but this seems a safe practice to protect the individual in question.

I would also ask people not send me links to this particular blog in the future.

With that out of the way, non-western society isn't some monolith and treating it as such is itself western-centric.

Maybe there are some places where endogenic plurality is less stigmatized. I might question their conclusion that it's trauma responses being stigmatized as opposed to trauma accusations. Most childhood trauma is from family, and loyalty to family is a higher priority in many cultures than it is in the West. And admitting to being a traumagenic system is usually the same as accusing your family of abusing you which is going to be interpreted as a betrayal of your family.

But while some areas may be more accepting, on the other hand, there are also many non-western countries where people are tortured and killed in exorcisms for what's interpreted as spiritual possession.

Another thing they try to do is dismiss abuse over pluralphobia as simply existing at an intersection of other oppressed identities. I assume they're talking about how, for example, laws discriminating against people for identifying having a different gender than their AGAB just happen to oppress plurals too because of that intersection.

I find this intersection theory to be an interesting perspective from the SAME EXACT SYSTEM who months ago suggested that I came too close to "claiming transphobia" by pointing out a certain theme in an ask.

Here's a refresher for those who missed it:

Yes, that's them.

The same exact system you linked.

The admin to The Survivor's Network.

This particular user, and their awful little bullying Hellhole of a server, has repeatedly tried to downplay and dismiss discrimination against endogenic systems, and systems in general.

They're the absolute worst.

I feel it's important to understand where these arguments are coming from and what their goal is. Anti-endos with a long history of attacking endogenic systems want to erase or minimize the harm they've done or are doing. To acknowledge all systems as being oppressed for being systems, rather than ONLY traumagenic systems due to general ableism, would require admitting that they were the bad guys all along.

But let's put get back to the topic at hand.

The position that plurals aren't institutionally oppressed is nonsense

The most stigmatized parts of DID isn't the trauma flashbacks or the chronic depression or even the lapses in memory. It is, and always has been, the multiplicity. There's a reason every horror movie about DID will focus on that and double down on the evil alter trope.

The evil alter trope is an evolution of stories about people being possessed, being werewolves, or being replaced by Fae or malevolent Fox spirits.

People with DID aren't stereotyped as murderers because they're traumatized, but because they're plural. In fact, one common complaint about DID representation you see all the time is that it tends to erase every other symptom and comorbid disorder.

The multiplicity is always treated as the defining problem with systems in society.

This is why forced fusion from therapists used to be pushed so hard, and has been so harmful to systems with DID over the years.

But DID systems aren't the only victims of this form of medical pluralphobia, even in disordered spaces.

The same is true of other plural and plural adjacent disorders and experiences. It's why Dr. Romme of the Hearing Voices Network has compared forcing voice hearers to get rid of their voices to be akin to conversion therapy to "cure" homosexulaity.

And yes, this is happening to non-disordered systems. Just a few months ago, a tulpamancer talked about their own experiences of being forced on antipsychotic medication to get rid of their tulpa.

When the user tried explaining more to their psychiatrist, the psychiatrist actually increased their medication.

This form of psychiatric abuse goes beyond simple social stigma.

And this conversion therapy approach to plurality is something that many plurals and voice-hearers have had to deal with for decades. And itself is an evolution of the exorcisms people associated with spiritual plurality have been subjected to for centuries.

I should also mention Cambriancrew has talked about medical staff over the past couple years reporting policies of denying care specifically to systems.

Plurals have never been named as a collective group until the last 30 years.

But we've ALWAYS faced this type of widespread societal oppression for our plurality.

From friends and family ostracizing and rejecting us or even targeting us for hate from others.

From psychiatrists abusing us or trying to cure us.

From religious institutions engaging in literal torture to get rid of perceived demons.

And from a society at large that repeatedly denies our very existence and our personhood.