#it's a literal living block of salt

[dataisgone]

Pixel Dailies #94 | 02/09/24 | Theme: Block

obscure pokemon in meme

[labyrynth]

very salty salt re: someone’s hotter-than-the-sun take on jgy/meng shi, mu qing, and class

just saw someone insist that bc meng shi was a famed courtesan at some point, she therefore was actually quite well off financially, and was not at all lower or working class, as if she not only had a say in her profession, but as if this did not all come crashing down after 1) aging, and 2) having a literal child

they also described both meng yao and mu qing as “functionally middle class” because obviously not being jobless or homeless means you’re middle class.

and also claimed that mu qing was personally responsible for xie lian’s downward spiral, and that mu qing’s decision to leave abandon xie lian was selfish, cruel, and—get this—fueled by CLASSISM.

OP i am beating you over the head with a stick. how do you fuck up class awareness/analysis THIS bad.

the whore and her bastard son are middle class because she’s fuckable and he knows how to read. uh huh sure.

the working class servant is selfish and classist for prioritizing his own family over his employer, the royal fucking family. why not.

here look OP i can string together offensive sentences too: you are fucking stupid.

[prickly-paprikash]

Kendrick doesn't just hate Drake as a person. He hates the very idea of Drake.

Hip-Hop is rooted in revolution. In defiance. These are the songs of an oppressed group of people, and decades upon decades people have hated it. Accused of being meaningless and invalid. Media outlets took steps to belittle hip-hop and make sure it isn't recognized as an art form and as a means to fight back.

2Pac spoke of wealth disparity and inequality. Tupac was literally a member of a communist organization when he was younger and never stopped speaking against capitalism.

Lauryn Hill spoke of the struggles a woman faces. Not just women, but black women. Salt-N-Peppa. Queen Latifah. MISSY FUCKING ELLIOT.

N.W.A made sure people knew about police brutality and violence against the Black community.

And now, in this day and age, we're also experiencing an explosion of Queer Hip-Hop. Lil Nas X is at the forefront of this. Lil Uzi Vert came out as non-binary and uses they/them pronouns, even when they knew that a lot of their fans would never use it or even respect them for it. Auntie Diaries, a song about a young man who grew up in a transphobic environment and bought into those beliefs, but could never fully do it because his Uncle loved him so much and taught him a lot of life lessons, and that wisdom translated to him accepting his cousin as a woman as well.

Drake is none of that.

He's the perfect representation of what people think hip-hop is. Flexing. Posturing. Objectifying women. A fucker so insecure he bought 2Pac's ring just to feel like he's part of the black community. Rejected by Rihanna publicly. Tried to groom Millie Bobby Brown. Kissed and inappropriately touched an underage girl during his concert. His songs have inspired so many young boys to treat girls like shit. His belief that the amount of rings and chains and cars he has is the true meaning of success.

Additional Edit: This is my fault. If this post gains more views, then it would be remiss of me not to add to this. It was my fault to begin with, not stating this beforehand because while I did know, I got lost in celebrating Hip-Hop in a place that doesn't usually do so, and rightfully so.

2Pac did fight for wealth equality and better social living for the black community. He also has a long, long history of battery, domestic abuse, and sexual harassment against women. Specifically against women of color. He made a song to celebrate his own mother, but outright refused to give the same show of respect to other women in his life. His hypocritical nature was brushed off in later decades, just the way I did now.

N.W.A is the same. Sexual assault charges, violence—they spoke of Police reform, but refuses to give the same treatment back towards the women in their lives.

50 cent refuses to backtrack on any of his misogynistic lyrics.

Modern rappers of today, such as the dead XXXtentacion. 6ix9ine. Kodak Black.

I do love Hip-Hop. I love rap. And the music itself has always been anti-authoritarian at its core, because those are its roots. And I was happy that circles that did not normally know of it or enjoy it were getting into it, even for one thing like this rap feud.

Lil Nas X, Little Simz, Childish Gambino, Missy Elliot, Queen Latifah, Lauryn Hill—rappers who have at the very least consistently tried to put their money where their mouth is. Who have tried to act in accordance to what they rap and write and sing for.

@shehungthemoon @ohsugarsims finnthehumanmp3 were the ones who rightfully clarified in the comments. I know an apology won't correct my hypocrisy or my stupidity. I should have added all of this before making this post, but I wanted so badly to celebrate a genre of music but failed to do my due diligence in showing a better, holistic view of it. If anyone felt triggered, offended, troubled, frustrated or any other intense negative emotions surrounding this, please do block me. I'm sorry.

[nil-the-glitch]

actually yknow what, no. this is not being limited to discord, yall get it too.

some general cooking tips (in which there is a brief senshi posession):

moisture is the enemy of crispy skin. pat dry with paper towel, and if you have the time and spoons, give a thorough but even coat of baking powder and let sit uncovered in your fridge overnight. this will dry out the skin nicely. for pork belly, create a tight foil boat so that only the skin is showing, and cover in salt to draw out moisture, repeating a couple times if necessary.

furikake seasoning, for the fellow rice lovers, is just nori (seaweed), sesame seeds, sugar, and msg/salt. you might have most if not all of these things already in your kitchen.

chai spice mix is just cinnamon, ginger, cardamom, cloves, nutmeg, & allspice.

pumpkin spice is just cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and ginger.

to cure your own bacon, you only need water, white and brown sugar, and a non-iodized salt - himalayan pink salt is not iodized, if you cannot find butchers curing pink salt. from there, you can add any seasoning/flavoring you want.

the truly adventurous may cook their rice in green tea for a fresh clean taste.

you can tell if a fish is truly fresh by their eyes - clear and bright is fresh, while cloudy is older or potentially has been frozen.

it's cheaper to buy a large block pack of ramen from your local asian market and repackage the bricks into sandwich bags, than to buy a box of individually packaged ones such as maruchan or top ramen.

when buying meat, look at it's fat content - more fat marbling usually means more tender + flavorful.

you can save onion skins and other vegetable scraps to make your own broth with. you can also save bones for this. mix and match ratios to create your ideal flavor.

bay leaf will always make a soup or broth taste better, but Watch Out (they are not fun to bite into on accident).

msg is, in fact, not The Devil, that was just a racist hate campaign against the chinese and other oriental races. it's literally just a type of salt. it is no more dangerous to eat than any other type of salt.

washing your rice is important because it not only improves flavor and texture by removing excess starch, but it also helps reduce any residual pesticides or dirt, or even insect fragments (please remember that rice paddies are essentially giant ponds that all kind of things live in and swim around. you should also be washing all your produce in general.)

please salt your cooking water for pastas, it just tastes better and you will be happier for it.

boiled potatoes are also improved by salt water.

if you hate vegetables, please consider trying them fried in butter or perhaps bacon grease. it is healthier to eat them fatty than not at all.

healthy food does not in fact have to taste miserable. thats a lie. they are lying to you. free yourself from your blandness shackles. enter a world of flavor.

[riizegasm]

Space & Time || P. SH

❀ pairing: roommate!sungho x implied fem!reader

❀ genre: roommates to lovers, college!au, fluff, minor angst

❀ word count: ~6.1k

❀ warnings: explicit language, minor jealousy, literally one implication of queer!sungho

❀ summary: The space that you share with Park Sungho sometimes feels a little too small. In time, the closeness proves to grow into something neither of you can contain. But hey, that's the case for all roommates...right?

❀ a/n: Once again, my writer's block went craaaazy for this piece. I spent so long hating it, but now I actually really love it! I feel like the style is a little different from what I usually do, so I hope you enjoy. As always, likes, reblogs, and replies are encouraged!

masterlist

Truthfully, Park Sungho is the perfect roommate. It doesn’t matter that sometimes he sings a little too loud in the shower because at least his voice is melodious. It doesn’t matter that sometimes he scolds you for leaving a dirty dish out because he laughs with you equally as much. It doesn’t matter that he frequently has his friends over, because they are always polite and include you in every outing. 

Park Sungho is perfect, almost a little too perfect. 

You first start to realize after coming home one night, two years into living together. Your feet are aching from your nice heels and your ears are ringing from the car horns on the street. It’s enough to have you entering your apartment with a sigh, kicking off your heels the minute you can see your welcome mat. 

“You’re home early,” Sungho says as you round the corner, standing up to greet you in that overly respectful manner of his. “How was it?”

The question instantly has tears springing to your eyes, stinging your corneas as if they were poisonous. Sungho is clearly panicked by your change in demeanor, flailing slightly as he approaches. His coos and attempts to shush you just make your tears turn into sobs, throwing your head back as you finally let all of your pent up emotions out. 

“It was horrible,” you hiccup. 

For a moment, Sungho flails once again. But then you’re encased by strong arms, a hand on the back of your head guiding you to lean into an overly wide shoulder. He smells faintly of clean laundry and sea salt, the latter due to the undertone in the cologne he constantly wears. A large hand smooths down the expanse of your exposed back, palms cool against the heat of your skin. You let your tears flow into the cotton of his shirt, feeling comfortable for the first time all night. 

“Come on, let’s sit down.”

Sungho doesn’t let go as the two of you move, waddling your way through your shared apartment. Instead of pulling you down to sit next to him, Sungho gathers you so that you’re seated straddling his lap, face still tucked into his shoulder. It’s an intimate position, far too intimate for mere roommates, but you’re too distracted by your sobs and the feeling of Sungho’s cool hands on your back to care. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sungho coos, voice melodious and overly soft. 

You just shake your head, not trusting your voice. It was simple, actually, why your date went so horribly. One ill-timed glance at his phone revealed a slew of texts from someone saved under the name “wifey.” The man then proceeded to point out all of your insecurities, no doubt comparing you to whoever that contact was. He ended up taking a “work call”, leaving the date early and making you responsible for the hefty bill. 

“That’s fine,” Sungho soothes. “He doesn’t deserve you, anyways. You are such a catch and he doesn’t even know what he’s missing.”

You sniffle slightly, finally moving from your position buried in Sungho’s shoulder. He smiles when the two of you make eye contact, using his thumb to wipe a few stray tears from your cheeks. You’re sure that you look a mess, face ruddy with your makeup in various states of disarray. But the way Sungho is smiling at you makes you feel like the most beautiful person in the world. 

“You’re just saying that because you’re my roommate,” you whisper. 

“I’m saying it because it’s true.”

A moment of silence lingers in the small space between the two of you, with the occasional hiccup interrupting your peace. Sungho’s gaze is too intense, peering into the depths of your eyes. For a moment, you find yourself getting lost in the eye contact, taking note of the deep hue of his irises. It’s only when you feel a slight fluttering in your chest that you snap out of it. 

“I’m going to go shower and get out of these clothes,” you say as you stand, mindful of the way your halter top shifts across your chest. “But maybe we can watch a movie after that?”

Sungho smiles softly. “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Something shifts between you and Sungho after that moment. 

It’s almost as if you’ve both unlocked a deeper level of comfort with each other, making physical contact in ways that you never had before. You spend your movie nights cuddling instead of sitting on opposite ends of the couch. You greet each other with hugs when either of you comes home, Sungho even going as far as to place a kiss on your cheek or forehead in friendly greeting. He’ll place a hand on your lower back as he passes by you in the kitchen, or squeeze your exposed thigh when the two of you are seated next to each other. 

You don’t think much of it, knowing that it’s nothing more than a few friendly touches between roommates. Sungho had seen you at a particularly vulnerable moment, and now seeks to comfort you. There’s nothing wrong with that! Roommates can hold hands in the grocery store and hug each other tightly after a long day. 

It’s how you find yourself snuggled up to Sungho’s side during a movie night, head leaning on his shoulder. It’s one of the few times that the two of you aren’t alone, surrounded by some of Sungho’s closest friends that you equally adore. They sit in various places strewn around the living room, leaving you and Sungho seated alone on the loveseat in the corner. 

About halfway through the movie, Woonhak complains about being hungry, causing a heated debate to erupt about what snacks everyone wanted. Through the commotion, you feel a set of sharp eyes on you. When you look to the side, you find Sanghyuk’s gaze trained on the points where you and Sungho are connected. It’s a simply observational gaze, his eyes holding no hint of judgment as he regards you. But, the intensity of his gaze makes your skin crawl. 

Under Sanghyuk’s scrutiny, you begin to peel yourself away from Sungho’s side. But before you can get far, a hand guides your head to lean back onto his shoulder. A quick glance upwards reveals that Sungho is still in the heated snack debate, not having blinked an eye at your movement. It’s almost as if he moved reflexively, not even having to think about drawing you closer. 

When you look back at Sanghyuk, the boy is smirking, simply rolling his eyes before he looks away. You try your best to fight the heat that is beginning to rise to your cheeks, to no avail. 

At some point between a new round of popcorn being distributed, and everyone settling back into their seats, you fall asleep. You have no idea how much time has passed as a soft hand shakes you awake. An ache overtakes your neck muscles as you straighten up, pulling back to see Sungho smiling down at you. A quick scan of the room reveals that it’s empty save for the two of you, causing you to cock an eyebrow in confusion. 

“Where’s everyone else?” You slur out, voice thick from sleep. 

“They left. It’s almost midnight, pumpkin.”

Pumpkin, that’s new. Your sleep addled brain doesn’t have the capacity to question it, simply nodding in understanding. 

“You should go to bed,” Sungho whispers, tucking a stray piece of hair away from your face. 

You nod, still not moving from your position on the couch. As your eyes flutter closed once again, you hear a soft chuckle. It’s enough to startle you back awake, not surprised to see a shy smile painting Sungho’s face. It’s impossible to not note how handsome he looks at the moment, long hair in disarray from leaning back on the couch and clad in a large sweatshirt. You imagine that he would be much cozier than your bed, but your mouth can’t quite part to form those syllables. 

“Come on,” Sungho says softly, dragging you up from the couch by the arm. “Let’s get you to bed.”

.         .         .

At some point, it becomes strange to not be greeted by Sungho the minute you enter your shared apartment, especially since you both have shared your schedules with each other. The man should be home, but your persistent calls of his name are met with nothing but silence as you toe off your shoes. Venturing further into the apartment still reveals no signs of life, a truly odd sight. 

You round a corner to step into the small hallway that leads deeper into the space, only to collide directly with a solid expanse of skin. A strong arm reaches out to steady you as you stumble backwards, keeping you firmly upright. Sungho’s eyes are wide when you meet his gaze, clearly flustered by your sudden appearance. 

“Shit, are you okay?”

You are unable to respond, too engrossed in scanning the view in front of you. Sungho’s entire torso is exposed, the man clearly having forgone a shirt. Wide shoulders taper into an impossibly small waist, leaving you swallowing thickly as you note the pair of basketball shorts hanging low on his hips. It’s clear that he has just showered, hair still dripping down onto his torso in clear rivulets. You find yourself watching as one slides down a firm pectoral, making a trail in one of the multiple divets in his abdomen, until it’s finally absorbed by the fabric of his shorts. 

You shake your head a bit, trying to snap out of it. It doesn’t help that Sungho is still grasping your upper arm, the strength in his hand obvious despite the gentle hold. Suddenly, your mouth feels arid, as if a sandy sediment has coated its surface and sucked up all of the moisture. You imagine that Sungho’s body is coated in enough water to quench your thirst. 

…wait…what??

“I’m fine,” you rush out, clearing your throat of its obvious thickness. “Sorry for bumping into you.”

Sungho just smiles softly, finally releasing his grip on your arm. “It’s all good. I felt bad that I wasn’t around when you got back. I thought I timed my shower well.”

“Don’t worry about it. Are you going somewhere?”

A slight flush rises to Sungho’s cheeks, the man ducking his head slightly. His hand comes up to scratch the back of his neck, allowing a few residual drops to fall from his hair. It’s odd to see Sungho be anything other than confident and bold, the sudden change catching you firmly off guard. 

“Yeah, I’m actually going to go hang out with this girl Daeun. She’s in my astronomy class so we’re going to the observatory a few towns over to do some constellation research.”

“Oh! That sounds…” surprisingly romantic… “Nice. That sounds really nice.”

Sungho chuckles, a sheepish smile taking over his face. “Yeah, I’m excited. Oh, let me finish getting ready! I might come to you for outfit advice, if that’s okay.”

You nod slowly, plastering a smile on your face. “Of course it is.”

Your chest feels tight as Sungho retreats, disappearing into his bedroom. As much as you try and ignore it, it continues to encompass you as you busy yourself with the latest episode of your favorite reality tv show. The pain doesn’t subside even as you try and immerse yourself in the latest drama. Instead, your face begins to heat and your palms begin to itch, almost as if craving to dig into something. Into what, you can’t quite determine, but you imagine it feels like milky smooth skin pulled taut over firm muscle. 

“How do I look?” Sungho asks with a little turn when he emerges from his room. 

Once again, you find yourself scanning his figure, taking in the way his jeans make his legs look impossibly long and how his shirt highlights the broadness of his shoulders. When the two of you first met, you used to joke about how Sungho needed to abandon his university endeavors to become a model. Times like now make it feel a little too real to be a joke. 

“Great,” you answer softly, ignoring the way your face burns. “You look great.”

Sungho looks absolutely giddy as he approaches the couch, leaning over to place a soft kiss on your forehead. The close proximity allows you to smell all the notes of his cologne, a scent that you have gotten used to transferring onto your clothes after every tight hug and cuddle session. The tightness in your chest returns, but this time it burns. 

“Thanks, pumpkin. I’ll be home late, so don’t wait up.”

Despite the man’s warning, you can’t find it in yourself to fall asleep. Instead, you remain awake in your bed, tossing and turning every few moments. Eventually, your body tires out, allowing you to slowly drift into slumber. If you dream of the mellow scent of sea salt and water droplets sliding across skin, that’s no one’s business but your own. 

.          .          .

The two of you part with a hug, Sungho gently pecking your forehead before heading off to his own class. You can’t fight the soft smile gracing your face as you approach your own building, your friend waiting for you near the entrance. 

Minji looks thoroughly perplexed as you approach, eyebrows drawn together in clear confusion. “Was that your boyfriend?”

The question makes you choke on your iced coffee, beginning to double over as a fit of coughs wrack your body. Minji doesn’t even flinch at your dilemma, still staring at the spot where you and Sungho had previously stood. 

“Holy shit, no!” You exclaim through a slew of coughs. “He’s just my roommate.”

The two of you move to enter the building, but Minji’s confused gaze remains firmly locked on you. 

“You’re joking, right?”

“What? No!” You emphasize as you slide into your seat. “Sungho is really just my roommate.”

“Then why do you guys do…,” Minji makes a vague gesture with her hands, “that?”

“You mean hug?”

“And kiss!” Minji’s voice drops to a whisper as the professor announces the start of his lecture. “I mean, if I had anyone treating me like that, I would definitely think we’re dating.”

You roll your eyes. “We are not dating!”

Minji just looks you up and down, lips curling into a soft smirk. “Does he know that?”

Any retort you have dies instantly in your throat. He does know that. You and Sungho have never been anything other than roommates, close roommates, but roommates nonetheless. The friendship that you have developed via sharing a space will always be nothing more than just that. Besides, he’s clearly seeing that girl Daeun from astronomy, right?

The amalgamation of thoughts about your non-relationship with Sungho distracts you throughout your entire lecture. Before you know it, your professor is dismissing you and you frown at your notebook, empty save for the date scribbled in the top right corner. You bid Minji a goodbye, reminding yourself to text her later for the notes. 

As you exit the lecture hall, a familiar figure makes you stop in your tracks. Sungho’s silhouette is bathed golden by the mid afternoon sun, giving him a cherubian glow. His head is tilted back in laughter, hand covering his mouth. It’s not uncommon to see Sungho lost in laughter, but you wonder who could have him so giddy this time, especially since Jaehyun is nowhere to be seen. 

And that’s when you see her. 

She’s pretty, unbelievably so. Long dark hair cascades past her shoulders, falling down to her trim waist. Her rounded eyes are emphasized by the slight shimmer of gold eyeshadow, full cheeks painted delicately with blush. Her smile is powerful, rivaling the sunshine that covers the green. The worst part is that she looks so good next to Sungho, as if they were a proper couple. So this is the Daeun that Sungho took to go see the stars. 

A hot feeling blooms in your chest, forcing you to avert your eyes. It makes sense, of course, that Daeun would be gorgeous and Sungho would be smitten with her. It’s only right that Sungho would have a partner equally as amazing as he is. 

So why aren’t you happy for him? Why does your chest burn and why do your eyes sting? Why is there a lump in your throat that feels excruciatingly painful to swallow down? Why are your palms growing clammy despite the early springtime breeze cooling you to your core?

You push your spiral of thoughts to the side, letting your legs carry you away from the green as fast as possible. It’s impossible to focus on where you’re going, letting your body move on autopilot. It’s only when a familiar warmth and the smell of pastries overcome you that you exhale for the first time in what feels like forever. You breathe in the smell of freshly brewed coffee and exhale with a smile. 

“Y/N?” A voice calls from the register. “What are you doing here?”

You’ve always mentioned that Donghyun looks particularly cute in his work attire. His hair is kept back off his face with a visor, the brim of which is shaped like a fishtail. His aquamarine apron is tied tight around his waist, covered in stains from the busy shift he likely had. Even the glittery name tag pinned to his apron suits him, matching the overeager sparkle in his eye. 

“I just wanted to stop by for some coffee.”

Donghyun cocks an eyebrow at you before scanning the practically empty cafe. “It’s 4pm.”

“I know, but I just need a pick-me-up.”

There’s another moment of silence as Donghyun regards you. With the minimum chatter from cafe-goers, the silence almost feels awkward, Donghyun clearly pondering something before he chooses to reply. After a moment, he simply shrugs. 

“Alright, but I’m giving you half-caf! I honestly don’t feel like brewing an entire new pot of regular.”

In mere minutes, you’re sitting alone at a table by the window, a steaming mug warming your fingers. You choose to ignore the concerned glances that Donghyun shoots you from behind the coffee bar. He would probably ask about what’s bothering you, since you’re sure your crisis is painted all over your face. But that’s the exact problem—you have no idea what your crisis is. 

So what if Sungho has a new girl that he’s been seeing? It’s not like that affects you in any way. If anything, it’s expected, with his round eyes and overly caring nature. You’re sure most people 

would swoon at the mellow tone of his voice or at how quick he is to laugh at a joke. No one is immune to falling for the way he’s hyper-attentive as he listens or the way he squeezes a tad bit harder right before he’s about to release someone from a hug. 

So you’re not surprised at all that someone has fallen for Sungho, especially someone so pretty. It’s expected. So why does it hurt?

Once again, you force the question out of your mind, letting out a groan as you lean your head into your hands. The steam rising from the mug begins to heat your cheeks as you stare into it, warming you up in a way that you didn’t know you needed. Despite the burn in your chest and your clammy hands, it feels like the rest of your body is frozen over, forced to malfunction at the thought of Sungho and his new lover. 

Oh shit. You’re jealous. 

Your stomach twists and turns at the newfound revelation. It makes sense, of course, that you would fall for Sungho just like everyone else. He’s the epitome of a perfect gentleman. And with the constant touches, it’s hard not to crave that little something more. What would those ever so soft lips feel like against your own instead of your forehead or cheek?

But he has made it clear where he stands. Sungho is your roommate, no matter how much you crave for him to be more. He has Daeun. He chose Daeun. It should be easy to accept, but the swirling feeling in your gut says otherwise. 

You don’t know how long you spend in the cafe, letting time pass aimlessly as you remain lost in your thoughts. It’s only when your phone vibrates with a text that you are snapped back into reality. You don’t even have to look at it to know who it is, likely wondering about your whereabouts. After all, you’re usually home by this time, freshly showered and cuddled up with him as you chat over takeout. 

With another groan, you grab your stuff, taking your time to collect your belongings and shoot Donghyun an appreciative smile. He nods in return, shooting you a thumbs up that you’re sure is supposed to be a wish of good luck. 

He doesn’t even know how much you’ll need it. 

.         .         .

Meeting Daeun is even more tortuous than seeing her from afar. She’s even prettier up close, with a blinding smile and fluttering eyelashes. However, her beauty isn’t what strikes you the most. It’s how she’s hugging Sungho in the middle of your doorway that leaves you shocked. 

She’s clearly just saying goodbye, Sungho trapping her in one of his notorious hugs before she leaves. The sight has you frozen in place nonetheless, the grocery bag you were carrying now hanging lower in your slackened grip. Sungho seems to sense your presence as the two release from their hug, eyes lighting up as he sees you standing beyond the doorway. 

“Y/N! I didn’t know you’d be home so early,” he beams. “This is Daeun, my research partner.”

“Oh, this is Y/N?” The woman questions, shooting you a soft smile. “Nice to meet you.”

You force yourself to return the smile, although you’re sure yours comes out awkward with a hint of confusion. “You too.”

There’s a thick silence that ensues as Daeun regards the two of you. Her gaze flickers between you and Sungho a few times before she lets out a small chuckle, as if she knows something you don’t. At least you feel like you’re one step ahead of her, knowing that something’s going on between her and Sungho. You just didn’t quite expect to see it so clearly.

“Well I’m going to get going,” Daeun sings. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sungho. Nice to meet you again, Y/N.”

The woman disappears down the hallway with a little wave, ponytail swaying behind her with every step. The minute she’s out of sight, Sungho moves forward, relieving you of the grocery bag that is basically on the floor at this point. He holds the door as you take slow steps forward, finally forcing your body to enter the apartment. As you slide off your shoes, Sungho ruffles your hair before moving to unpack the groceries. 

“So,” you begin, sitting on the countertop next to where Sungho is fussing over the various fruits that you had bought. “She’s cute.”

Sungho shoots you a confused look. “I mean, I guess.”

“You guess? Isn’t she like your girlfriend or something? I feel like you should think she’s cute.”

“Woah,” Sungho chuckles. “Where did you get that from?”

“What?”

“That she’s my girlfriend? She’s literally just my partner for my research project.”

You shrug, trying not to oogle the breadth of Sungho’s shoulders as he leans down to place an egg carton in the fridge.

“I just thought you two were close. And you look kinda cute together,” you mumble, beginning to swing your legs where they hang over the edge of the counter. 

Sungho stares at you incredulously. “Ummm…okay, I guess. She’s not really my type, though.”

“Really?” You hate the way your voice comes out in a rush of excitement. “I mean, um, I’m surprised. Like I said, you two look cute together.”

In the blink of an eye, Sungho is standing before you, slowly making space for himself in the vee of your legs. His palm is warm as he places it on your knee, right on top of the rip in your jeans. The new proximity has you leaning back a bit, only to be stopped by the wall behind you. You find yourself going a little cross eyed at the closeness, trying your hardest to maintain eye contact. Sungho just smiles, squeezing your knee softly.

“I mean it,” he mumbles. “I already have my eye on someone else, pumpkin.”

It feels as if the distance between the both of you is getting smaller by the second, some sort of invisible pull bringing you closer. At the last minute, Sungho leans upward, letting his lips gently peck your forehead. The warm sensation on your skin lingers, even as Sungho pulls back to shoot you another smile. 

“Welcome home, by the way.”

The man then retreats as if nothing happened, going back to unpacking the groceries. You don’t dare move from your position, heart still hammering in your chest. It takes a moment before you are able to exhale, your breath coming out short and shaky. If it weren’t for the stability of the counter underneath you, you’re sure you would have fallen over. It makes you wonder if Sungho would’ve caught you if you had. 

“So, what do you want to do for dinner?” Sungho calls over his shoulder, shooting you a small smile. “I’m really in the mood for sushi.”

.         .         .

You impatiently rap your knuckles against the heavy door in front of you, shifting your weight from foot to foot. Never before had you felt this sense of urgency, limbs feeling jittery with every passing moment that you spend standing still. It’s enough anxiety to have you running a marathon, and even then, you swear you would still have some anxious energy left. However, the minute that a confused face opens the door, you feel a bit of the tension leave your body. 

“Y/N?”

You smile sheepishly. “Hi, Sanghyuk. I need your help.”

You’ve always found Sanghyuk and Jaehyun’s shared apartment to be extremely homely. The two of them have arrays of stuffed animals and trinkets in every corner of the home, along with an assortment of fuzzy blankets in every nook and cranny. It’s cozy and calm, especially with the way it’s never quite silent. Usually Jaehyun is the culprit, either joking and laughing loudly or playing some music to set the vibe. 

But even now, as it’s just you and Sanghyuk in the space, the cozy feeling is amplified. You’re wrapped up in one of his fleece Pokémon blankets, cocooning yourself in warmth. It’s quiet for a moment, Sanghyuk never pushing you to speak before you’re ready. After a few deep breaths, you finally feel ready to open up. 

“I think I like Sungho.”

You expect something to shift in the moment, maybe for Sanghyuk to squeal in surprise or for the world to stop turning for a bit. But it’s nothing like that. Instead, Sanghyuk just continues to look at you, a neutral expression coloring his face. 

“Okay,” he murmurs softly. “Tell me more.”

And you do. It’s easy to confide in Sanghyuk, with his soft smiles and solemn nods. He listens as you pour your heart out, explaining everything from the first bit of physical contact after your shitty date to meeting Daeun in the apartment. As every piece of the story comes out, you feel your chest begin to grow lighter. 

“And now I’m here because I don’t know what to do.”

Sanghyuk just hums, clearly pondering your words before he speaks. “Well, are you going to tell him?”

“I can’t!” You all but whine, throwing your hands up in exasperation. “He’s just going to pity me and reject me and then it’s going to be weird when we have to see each other all the time. I mean, we live together.”

“What makes you so sure that any of these things are going to happen?”

“I don’t know.”

Sanghyuk shrugs. “Exactly, you don’t know. So what’s the harm in trying?”

You can’t help but groan, head beginning to pound at the mere thought of telling him how you feel. “But what if he hates me?”

“And what if he loves you?” 

What if Sungho loves you?

It’s hard to imagine, but for a moment you get a glimpse of what that would be like. Forehead kisses would trail down to meet your lips instead of just stopping there. Cuddles and hugs could turn into more meaningful touches. A hand on the waist would be a show of belonging, not just a hint of guidance. The man that you want would finally be yours. 

“I’m scared, Sanghyuk.”

The man across from you sighs, beginning to pick at the corner of his own blanket. “I know, but you’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“And Daeun?”

“Has Sungho ever lied to you?” Sanghyuk cocks an eyebrow when you shake your head no. “Exactly. You have no reason to believe he isn’t telling you the truth.”

You know that he’s right, just like he always is. It’s just hard to ditch the niggling feeling in the back of your brain that there’s something you don’t know. The glint in Daeun’s eyes and the surprise in Sungho’s had to have meant something. It had to. 

“I know that, but I just need to hear it. Can you please be 100% honest with me?” You ask softly, eyes firmly fixed on Sanghyuk. 

“I always am.”

“Does Sungho have a thing for Daeun?”

Sanghyuk chuckles. “No. Like he said, he has his eye on someone else.”

The phrase bounces around your head the entire walk home. Someone else could be anyone. It could be another person in his research class or one of his gym companions. It could be that one really cute guy that works at Donghyun’s cafe. It could be anyone. It could be you. 

As you unlock your apartment door, you’re greeted with the familiar sight of Sungho wiping down the kitchen counters. It’s a little thing he does, constantly cleaning and tidying to the point that it’s almost motherly. But his habit is endearing, especially as he scrunches his nose while scrubbing at a particularly stubborn stain. 

The minute he looks up, though, any trace of tension is gone from his face, melting into a soft smile. He’s quick to abandon the cloth he was using, approaching you with wide arms. The hug that he engulfs you in is all too tight, but you find it freeing rather than suffocating. However, the breath leaves your lungs when Sungho places a soft kiss on your forehead. 

“Welcome home, pumpkin,” he coos softly.

As you two part, you can’t help but stand frozen in place, a warm rush flooding your body. If Sungho notices, he doesn’t show it, choosing instead to go back to cleaning. Before you can stop it, the warmth travels upward, escaping your body before you can catch it. 

“I want you to mean it.”

The short phrase makes Sungho stop, turning back to you with a confused furrow in his brow. “Mean what?”

As much as you want to race to retract your words, Sanghyuk’s voice echoes in your mind. Someone else, you remind yourself. It could be you. You take a deep breath. 

“When you kiss me,” you explain, squeezing your eyes shut as embarrassment begins to color your cheeks. “I know it’s just on the forehead or cheek, but I want you to mean it.”

Sungho makes a confused little noise. “But I do mean it.”

“Not in the way that I want you to. Not in the way that I mean it.”

The silence that overcomes the room makes time tick by ever so slowly. What are mere seconds feel like hours as the two of you simply stand in the hallway, neither of you daring to say a word. Even though your eyes are closed, you can tell Sungho is shifting his weight back and forth, the motion making the floorboards creak slightly. 

“Y/N, I need to understand. How exactly do you want me to mean it?”

Somehow, the question gives you the energy to open your eyes, instantly sweeping them over Sungho’s form. The white tee shirt he wears is marred with splotches of water, likely from his earlier time cleaning. His hands are calloused as they run through his hair, grip permanently rough from spending too much time at the gym. There’s a bit of redness around his temples from what looks like the beginning of a blemish. He’s stunning like this. 

“I want you to like me the way I like you.”

Sungho’s confused expression deepens. “And what way is that?”

“Like more than a friend or roommate. I want you to like me romantically.”

The laugh that Sungho lets out comes as a surprise. It even surprises the man itself, it seems, based on the way he instantly covers his mouth with his hands. His eyes have grown wider in shock, gaze uncertain as it remains locked on you. But soon that all melts away, replaced with a subtle smirk. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just—who says I don’t already?”

The apartment seems to shrink around the two of you, compressing all of the air in the room. Even the hallway feels tighter, invisibly drawing you and Sungho closer together. It’s as if there was a shift in the space, in your space. 

“B-but, Daeun?” You manage to stutter out, trying to ignore the way that the walls are pressing in on you, forcing you closer to Sungho. 

It seems that your roommate is feeling similar effects, slowly stumbling towards you as well. 

“I told you,” he mumbles softly. “She’s just my research partner. I like someone else. Y/N, I like you.”

The apartment shrinks a little more.

“You do?”

Sungho nods, smiling sheepishly. “I have for like, two years now. I mean, I tried to show you! Why else would I be all over you like that?”

“Because you’re a touchy person?” You question, not sounding too convinced of yourself. 

“Because I like you, pumpkin.”

The space is finally completely compressed, you and Sungho now standing toe to toe. He feels so much broader like this, taking up his fair share of the newly tiny space. It’s dizzying to be pressed so close together, even though it’s far from the first time. Once again, you find that it’s freeing rather than suffocating.

“I thought you were just being a really good roommate.”

Sungho chuckles, the sound vibrating through both of your bodies. The closeness allows him to easily wrap an arm around your waist, his free hand tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. He lets his hand trail downward, cupping your cheek. 

“I don’t think really good roommates would do this.”

As much as you have felt Sungho’s lips on your face, the feeling of him pressing a kiss to your mouth feels utterly foreign. His lips are made soft from his constant use of peach chapstick, rivaling your own soft pucker. The kiss is both just as quick and equally as gentle as his pecks to your forehead. When he pulls away, you can’t stop the small whine that escapes you. 

Your eyes flutter open, trying to tamp down the immediate feeling of embarrassment that floods your core. You don’t seem to be the only one, though, with Sungho’s cheeks taking on their own rosy hue. For a moment, the two of you are silent, letting the apartment around you expand and contract with every breath you take. 

“Sungho,” you whisper. 

It’s all it takes for Sungho to instantly reconnect his lips to yours, this time kissing you deeper. The hand around your waist pulls you impossibly closer, leaving no room between your bodies. It gives Sungho the leverage to lean over you slightly, letting his lips capture yours again and again. The feeling is dizzying. Never has Sungho’s touch electrified you so much. 

When you finally pull away, heavy panting fills the silence between you. It takes Sungho a moment to open his eyes, finally staring back at you with dark eyes. It’s different from the Sungho you’re so used to seeing, playful and easygoing. Instead, this Sungho desires. 

“So,” you can’t help but ask. “This means you don’t like Daeun, right?”

“Holy shit,” Sungho curses before breaking out into laughter.

His chuckles shatter the moment, both hands dropping down to his sides. It’s endearing to watch how his nose scrunches and his eyes squeeze shut. But honestly, you don’t know what is so funny. 

“Y/N, pumpkin,” Sungho begins in between chuckles. “Daeun has a girlfriend.”

Oh.

.FIN.

[marinettesaltprompts]

Prompt by @kawaiichibiart

I wanted to expand on one of my first prompts I shared, which was the class/school transfer but instead of Marinette it's Adrien. Marinette Salt, implied Akuma class salt (implied because I feel like you could leave it out and the story will still work). Deceptive Gabriel Sugar (you think he's being nice but it's all part of his plans to get the miraculous).

--------

After being told he knew about Lila the whole time, the Akuma class turns on Adrien. It starts with ignoring him and not inviting him to things. The only reason he shows up for band practice is because of Luka.

It then evolves into badmouthing him and some of his old classmates even go as far as bullying him.

It gets to be too much for him that he starts ditching and eventually, in that extremely rare "good dad" moment, Gabriel pulls him out of school.

The two sit down and talk about what happened to let things get to this point, and Adrien tells him what he knows. Lila lying, how he thought it was just for attention, the highroad, how Marinette told their classmates he knew Lila was lying but didn't tell them anything else, like how Lila was threatening her, something he kinda figured out on his own when she got Marinette expelled, or well, he assumed Lila hurt Marinette someway...she made it seem like he was okay with Lila lying when he wasn't. He just...didn't know how to stop her or how to get people to listen without any proper evidence.

And Marinette just, threw him under the bus. He thought she was his friend. That he and his classmates were friends. Maybe, maybe Gabriel was right. He never should have gone to school.

Time for extremely rare "good dad" Gabe to strike again: in a two birds one stone moment, Gabriel suggests Adrien lives with his aunt and cousin in London. They can find a good school for him to attend if he still wants to attend one in person. It'll also keep him safe from Akumas, he still thinks about Gorizilla and how he could have lost him (and also this way he didn't have to worry about Adrien potentially being the one he has to akumatize. Once he wins, Adrien will be able to return home to his mother).

Adrien agrees and moves in with Amelie and Felix. And because they honestly feel like it, the boys literally become twins. Felix and Adrien Graham de Vanily both attend a private school where they can focus on their future careers.

We skip a bit forward in time and DuPont is now in London on a field trip. They're getting a tour of one of their biggest private schools. They're able to see students working on their schedules, each one differing from one another due to the difference of career paths. And once they enter the labs, they see Adrien and Felix.

The twins are working on experiments together when the DuPont students arrive. Some of them try to talk to Adrien, but Felix blocks them, speaking over them or shushing them. As part of their trip, they get to attend the school for a few days. During this time, they try to reconnect with Adrien.

But either their schedules don't align, Felix gets in the way, or Adrien remains civil but isn't interested in mending bridges.

Some of them understand. They hurt him. He moved on. They messed up and lost a friend.

Others don't. He had to be exaggerating his hurt feelings. He was always so forgiving with Chloe. What made them different??

The worst is Marinette. Not only is Adrien ignoring her, he literally told her to not speak to him. To stay away from him. She didn't do anything wrong. She didn't mean any harm when she said he knew about Lila. Why can't he forgive her?!

"I'm trying to be nice!! I've forgiven you for that bullshit advice and you decide you're too good for me?!"

"Ha, "too good." Sure."

"I'm not talking to you. Adrien-"

"Doesn't want to talk to you. But I, on the other hand, have some words for you. Stay away from us. Go back to your petty filled life in Paris. You say you "forgive" my cousin for the advice he have you. Advice you willingly took, no?"

"Well, I-"

"Or am I missing the part where my favorite cousin made you take that advice. Advice can be given but it doesn't have to be taken. You taking the highroad, was ultimately, you're choice. You made that decision and got someone else hurt. But it doesn't matter, does it?"

"Felix-"

"It doesn't matter so long as you end up on top. As long as you aren't the one being pushed around and ignored and hurt. As long as you win."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!!"

"We both know it is. If it wasn't, you never would have let things get as far as they did. You would have told the entire truth. Not held things back. You would have accepted responsibility for your part in what your class did to my cousin, no, to my brother."

"I already said I was sorry!! What more do you want?!"

"I want you to leave."

"Adrien-"

"Leave, Marinette. I have nothing to say to you."

"You heard him. Get. Out."

some additional points I couldn't work into the prompt:

• Adrien is still Chat Noir, but he's no longer Paris's hero. Chat Noir is active in London. Costume and name change are optional.

• Of his old friends, he only speaks to Luka, Kagami, and occasionally Chloe.

• Felix and Adrien played "rock, paper, scissors" to determine who's birthday they would use. Winner also got to be the eldest twin. Felix won.

• Felix switches between referring to Adrien as his cousin and his brother.

• This isn't a requirement but if someone can manage to work it in, get Felix his miraculous (the peacock) early. I love the cat bird duo.

• Marinette still has a crush on Adrien and expected him to beg for her forgiveness, which she would give him after he groveled for a while, so she's surprised when he cuts contact with her entirely.

• Possible rare "good dad" Gabriel moment four: he tells the public a shortened version as to why Adrien left, which is his son was being bullied and he worried that that would cause him to be akumatized. Not wanting to risk it, he sent him to live with his aunt and cousin in London. And once everything was over, he could return, hopefully happier and safer. Which, sadly, means Adrien won't be modeling for Gabriel for the foreseeable future. But that's a chance he's willing to take if it means his son isn't hurt or targeted.

It's his way of showing the public he's just a concerned father who had the means to send his child somewhere he could be safe. It's something other parents had considered and some also decide to go through with the idea.

• Of his past classmates, the ones Adrien is a bit more welcoming to are: Juleka, Sabrina and Nathaniel. This is mostly because they just stayed on the sidelines the entire time. Something they regret but acknowledge can't be taken back. So, while the bridge hasn't been mended, the distance isn't big enough that they have to worry about falling and drowning.

[oneirataxiahiraeth]

The Price of Hatred ||pt.3

Pairings : fem!reader x heretic!kaiparker

Warnings : Swearing, Mentions of death, long as hell, mentions of violence, smut, degradation, praise kink, choking, oral, witchcraft,

Word Count : 6.3k

A/N :

Hiii i’m back! Writers block is literally insane i’ve been away for soooo long! I’m gonna be releasing a few more stories soon so if you guys wanna see anything specific let me know!

————-

  Your eyes scanned the room as you walked through the front door. It felt like everyone was here, all waiting anxiously for something good to happen. The book cases, furniture, floors, and railings were all lined with candles waiting to be used for the spell that hadn't begun yet.

   Elena lay lifeless on the floor in the middle of the living room. Her was plump pink lips now a haunting shade of purple and blue. She had bags under her eyes like you'd never seen before. She looked like death, maybe worse than even. Damon was sat on the ground next to her, finger combing through her long brown hairs as the world around him remained dormant.

    "Sorry it took so long, traffic was horrible on the way over." You excused yourself quietly, not caring to remember that it was early hours within the day. Practically no one was on the streets at this time, but no one had cared to remember or question you.

   Caroline stood in the corner with Bonnie, helping her mix some awful smelling concoction that even you could smell from across the room. Bonnie turned towards your voice, eyes lightening as she saw you and Kai. She almost looked excited... or desperate... you couldn't tell which was more accurate.

   "Hey, we were just waiting for you guys to get started. Bonnie hummed. Caroline stood behind her, eyes kind of glum and nervous. Her arms were crossed in that way and her lips pursed to form a straight line. Her eyebrows were furrowed in a way that said she didn't agree with anything going on but didn't want to say a word. It worried you, Caroline was never one to hold her tongue. In fact, it was near impossible. "We found the right spell to bring Elena back... but it's going to take a lot more energy than we had originally thought." Bonnie looked between both you and Kai.

   "Oh the day has finally come!" Kai light up.

His smiled felt like salt in this still fresh wound. He sucked in a deep breath of air as your eyes narrowed at him for the sudden outburst. He breathed out as if he had just tasted the sweetest oxygen he were to ever know.

   "What do you want." Damon spoke up from the ground. His eyes hadn't looked away from Elena's fragile figure, but he was paying attention. "We know you're going to want something so tell us how so we can work something out." Damon huffed.

   Damon sounded defeated. He has little to lose if this meant Elena coming back. Kai smiled widely recognizing his power in this situation. He turned to looked at you and your mean glare, daring him to take advantage of the situation.

    "Nothing." His eyes locked in with yours. "I'll help you guys out, simply from the kindness in my heart." He placed a hand on his chest to drive his point home.

   "Did you have a stroke or something?" Bonnie asked, confused at the sight. Had had never done a kind thing in his life. At least not for free.

   "Nope." He hummed, looking to Bonnie. "But i do have a point to prove."

   You and Bonnie exchanged confused glances before she nods and turning to grab her grimoire  from the table. She held it out for kai to receive with a heavy sigh. The pages had the instructions, and ingredients for everything she needed to complete the spell. Kai flipped excitedly through the pages, as if this was his big break. He was finally getting to show you how good of a person he was and you wouldn't even be able to deny it.

  "whoa whoa whoa" Kai spoke up after about 5 minutes of silently reading through everything he needed to. His look of excitement suddenly fell and now it was more of a concerned tension. "You have everything you need to complete this spell?"

   "yes." Bonnie replied confidently. Caroline tensed at the declaration, but you ignored it.

   "Even the human life you're planning on binding to hers?" Kai scoffed.

   Your eyebrows furrowed as you watching Caroline take her bottom lip in between her teeth. Bonnie sucked in a breath, crossing her own arms before slowly nodding her head in your direction. Your eyebrows raised at the inclination of you being the life to be bonded to Elena. You didn't even know what that meant. Caroline looked defeated, and Damon continued to watch over Elena with distractions.

   "You're joking right?" Kai asked, glancing to Caroline who couldn't even pretend to look okay with the revelation.

    "I'm order for the spell to work we need to connect her to someone." Bonnie responded.

   "So you chose to sacrifice Y/N?" Kai scoffed in disbelief.

   "It's not a sacrifice. No one is dying." Bonnie shook her head. "However it is extremely risky."

   "Risky? Connecting a human life to a vampire is like painting a big red target on their back." Kai huffed. "Not to mention that this is an extremely taxing spell, and they'd have to survive it first."

    There was no response that Bonnie could give. You would first have to survive the spell, then everything else life gave to you in order to survive . Telling by most of everyone else's silences this was a plan already spoken about before you arrived. Caroline looked as if this was eating her up inside, and Damon wouldn't even look away from Elena. Much to everyone's surprise Kai was the only one brave enough to speak against the idea.

"We can't risk some random person being. connected to Elena." Bonnie tried to reason. Her eyes fell to you waiting for any sort of reaction.

   She was right. Connecting Elena to a random person posed a challenges that you couldn't risks. Illnesses, violent crimes, and accidents, all determined whether Elena lived or died. At least with you it'd be like daily protection. Nobody would let anything happen to you. You lived a perfectly healthy lifestyle and nobody was ever after you. It was a good idea in theory.

    "Just... don't make it hurt." You sighed, shrugging off your jacket. Kai turned his head to you fairly quickly with a look as if you had just betrayed him in the worst way.

   "No." He stated sternly.

"This is the stupidest solution to this predicament." He scoffed at you. "There's no telling what this will do to you. We could get the spell all wrong, and you could die. The weight of the spell might be too much for you and you could die. You-"

   "Or we successfully link her and Elena together-" Bonnie interjected Kai's rants.

   "And we still managed to fuck up and kill them both."

   Even with all the risk, you couldn't even imagine trusting anyone else to take on this role. Elena's life was on the line. This had to be you.

   Damon stood from beside Elena, turning to face the rest of you. He walked over between the 3 of you, putting a cheerful gleam on his face. It looked forced, and almost frightening before he sucked in a sharp breath.

   "I have the perfect solution for all of our issues." He announced. All of you watched him curiously as he looked around for a second before  locking eyes with you. "Don't die." He slapped a hand on your shoulder. "And don't kill them." He placed his other hand on Kai's shoulder. "Risk evaded."

   "Don't be stupid, Y/N. There's thousands of people in this town, we could easily find one-"

   "And risk an innocent person dying because you were too scared to do the damn spell?" You scoffed.

   "I've met the people in this town and none of them are exactly innocent." Kai grumbled.

   "This. This is what I mean. You don't think about anyone else when it doesn't benefit you! You're selfish, and impulsive, and you can't see anything past your huge fucking ego. We have the witches, the life to link, and the spell we need to cast. This is my best friend and i'm not entrusting some random person off the street with her life." You spat out. Kai tensed at your tone and the cruel nature of your words. Bonnie and Caroline shared a concern look at your outburst but both decided it was best not to say anything in the moment.

   "Why do you even care whose life we link?" Damon sighed towards Kai.

    "I don't." Kai's face went cold. He shrugged, tearing his eyes away from yours before walking over to his spot in the ritual. "Just making sure you all thought this through. I don't need you blaming me when this goes south." He sounded annoyed, and detached. You rolled your eyes, dropping your jacket to the floor.

   You felt bad seeing the way his eyes softened at the insults. His face hardened but something about the way he looked at you, it was easy to tell his feelings were hurt. He knew that you were going to help your friend regardless of what that meant, and he knew that everyone else knew too. It was like they were backing you in a corner and only he was truly fighting for you.

   Once everyone had settled, and fully come to terms with the agreement, everything began. Bonnie had your drink from a silver chalice, a herbal concoction swimming in a mix of your blood and Elena's. It took your entire body strength not to wretch it back up, but you managed it down with a chaser of water Caroline provided.

   You, Bonnie, and Kai held hands over Elena's lifeless body. There was an array of candles surrounding all of you with flames flickering as the energy rose in the room. Kai seemed nervous as the spell began, eyes closed but his thumb running circles over your knuckles. It was a small gesture but one that sent tingles through your body.

Once the spell began Caroline and Damon watched nervously. Caroline picking at her nails as Kai and Bonnie chanted in unison, Damons eyes trained on Elena's body, making sure to note any movements or changes to make sure the spell was going smoothly. Kai looked concentrated, voice stern and words being spoken so clearly that there was no mistakes on his end. He was completely zoned in which made you feel a bit more at ease with all the thoughts racing through your mind.

Your body felt like it was buzzing with energy, heavy, and overwhelmed. Your skin felt electric, and your mind was clear. The candles lit up around you burning so high the flames came up to your knees. There was a heat igniting in your veins and you felt the sweat beading along your exposed skin from the flames. The chanting from Bonnie and Kai echoed throughout your mind which now felt empty. You felt like sitting down but you couldn't even move your body. As the watched Caroline noticed a ditzy expression on your face. Your eyebrows furrowed as your head swayed back and forth. Your lips in a deep pouted, stained red and dry from the blood.

"are okay?" Caroline asked quietly, moving to stand closer behind you. Her concern was evident and caught Damons attention. His eyebrows furrowed, but he remained silent.

"She should start feeling some discomfort right around now. She'll be okay... but it's not going to feel good." Bonnie spoke, interrupting her chant to clear worry.

Damon continued to watch carefully, unimpressed with how much you seemed to be affected. He could see the consciousness fading from yours as you stood, leaning back as if the only thing holding you up were Kai and Bonnie. Your face was hauntingly pale, and just as lifeless as Elena's.

Your mouth opened to speak but no words could form. Your eyes began to water and you tried to speak but nothing but a nasty gurgling sound escaped. Damon took a step forward his nerves getting the best of him as you looked mere seconds away from fainting as tears began to stream down your face. Water began to ejected from your mouth in a steady flow, dribbling down your chin and wetting your clothes. The sound of your gasping and water hitting the floor caused to Kai to open his eyes. He didn't falter in the spell, just stood unaware of what to do. He watched in horror as you coughed up the water.

"Is this supposed to happen?" Damon asked his tough demeanor now fading away.

Soon the water began to feel thick. Warmer... more suffocating. Soon the tears in your eyes were turning red, and your coughs began to sound more like muffled screams as what appeared to be blood spattered along the floor. Even for Damon this seemed a bit grim. Kai stopped his chanting and left the magic doing to Bonnie as he dropped her hand. the balance of magic all shifted to Bonnie who seemed too invested to stop. Her nose began to drip its own red, but she couldn't stop.

"Stop the spell." Kai's voice was deep, and stern. His eyes went to Bonnie who had here eyes shut tightly focusing on concluding the spell even if she had to do it on her own.

"Bonnie!" Caroline spoke out, desperation bleeding in her tone.

   Kai watched unsure of what he could do. Clearly Bonnie was determined to finish this spell with or without him. Even if he did managed to convince Bonnie to stop, there's no telling on if the blood expelling from your body would stop. There was a still chance of you not making it through this spell, but time was not on either of your sides. The only way he could break the hold Bonnie had on you without hurting her, and hopefully stopping all effects the spell had on you would to be take you very far away. Far enough away to where Bonnie's magic couldn't reach you.

    "Bonnie you're killing her!" Kai shouted, but it didn't seem to get her attention.

   "Dammit, Bonnie." Damon groaned, looking around to see what he could do to stop the spell. He couldn't figure something out like he thought he would so he began blowing out candles which automatically reignited by themselves.

   Kai took in a deep breath, before looking to Damon with a cautious look in his eyes. Almost as if apologetic for what he was about to do. Kai swept you up, your body flopping over her shoulder, getting your blood all over his backside before taking off.

  By the time you woke up Kai was long gone. Elena sat in wait, nervously, awaiting for your arrival. It was light outside, and Bonnie was sprawled out next to you her breathing light as she rested with you. Once Elena saw the fluttering of your eyelids she smiled. Her hands rushed to yours, carefully observing you to make sure you were solid before helpfully you sit up without waking Bonnie.

    "Good-morning." She smiled brightly. "I was starting to get worried." You stared in disbelief for a second before leaning forwards, wrapping both arms around the brunette.

   "So happy you're okay." You huffed out as Elena began to squeeze you back.

   "All thanks to you."

"So this means the spell worked?!" You pulled away as Elena hummed in confirmation. "We're really linked together now?"

   "We are going to really be Best Friends for Life... we have no choice now." she giggled and you smiled, looking around the familiar room.

   "How long was it out?"

"3 days." Your eyes widened.

   "It's feels like i was out for like 30 minutes."

"Trust me i know. For me i was only taking a quick nap but apparently i was out for over a week?" She responded and you sighed. "But we're both okay, and that's what matters."

   "Have you been here the whole time?"

"Yeah, Me and Bonnie kept shifts for when you woke up." She nodded. "Kai has been coming in every morning so he should be here in a bit." She spoke with a light smirk on her face.

   "Why is he coming?" You felt your skin getting hot at his mention.

   "To check up on you..." Elena spoke softly. "He did save your life after all."

   "Kai?"

"mhm"

   "Malachi?"

"yes."

"Parker?"

   "yup." Elena laughed. "He's been... dare i say... worried?"

  "Worried?"

"You must of had quite the effect on him while i was gone." She joked, but your face remained serious.

   "oh."

"Yeah, i should text him and tell him you're awake-"

   "w-what? why would you do that?" You stammered.

   "Just to give him a heads up." Elena shrugged. "That's okay right?" She asked and you swallowed the air bubble in your throat. "I mean he's been so helpful these past few days." she justified.

   "oh yeah, right." you nodded trying not to seem too suspicious. "actually-" You used your hand to block her from typing on her phone. She glanced at you curiously as you thought of an excuse. "maybe i should text him. might be better coming from the source, you know?" You covered.

   "Of course." Elena hummed. "no other reason?" she questioned and you shook your head quickly. 

    She was staring at you in that way she did when you both knew you were hiding something. You were never good at lying to Elena. You always joked that she was just another half of you the gods put here to keep you on track.

   When Kai began showing up and spending hours watching you, go make sure you were still breathing she could tell something was up. He wouldn't say a word, just complain that he saved your life and he deserved a thank you with your first real breath when you woke up. He'd kiss the top of your head before he left when he thought no one was looking. Elena never said a word in efforts to not spoil the moment, but it was clear what was going through his mind.

   "So you two aren't..?" Elena crossed her fingers watching you squirm.

"definitely not."

"So you never ..?" Her eyes widened as if you knew what she meant.

"uhhh no... we never-"

"oh you so have!" Her eyes widened at the confirmation. You gasped, turning to see if bonnie had been awake and slightly relaxing to her still unbothered in slumber.

"It was only once!" Elena narrowed her eyes. "Okay twice, but it meant nothing. It was just high stress times and that's all. And now that everything's over, and you're back, it's not going to happen again." You assured but Elena just rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. I mean... i get it. He's hot." She laughed.

"You can NOT tell anyone."

"I won't! But..."

    "Elena!" you whined.

"I just think you should maybe go over to check on him!" She spoke in a defensive tone. "He's been over here everyday worried sick. You should at least tell him yourself that you're okay."

   "I think a text should be fine."

"Come on, don't be like that. He saved your life. It's the least you could do." She gave you an expecting look before smiling as your shoulders fell in defeat.

  

  By the time you arrived to Kai's apartment it felt like you had been driving for years. You're body felt heavy and your heart was pounding out of your chest.

   You couldn't believe you allowed Elena to talk you into coming here. This was the last place you wanted to be. You thought that after Elena was back, you could go right back to ignoring the heretic and all that he was. Instead, you have to thank him for saving your life, and possibly entertain the idea of finishing a whole different conversation that was cut short the other night.

   "Ye-"Kai opened the door after your solid 3 knocks. He had on black and white plaid pajama pants with no shirt. His apartment was dark inside and smelled of sandalwood and lavender. "You're awake." he spoke sternly at the sight of you.

   "Can I come in?" You asked, watching as he slow blinked before moving to the side, allowing you access to the dark of his living room. There were streams of line peaking out from the blinds, but telling by the state of him and the shadows it was clear he had just rolled out of bed.

   You turned to face the heretic who just stood quietly waiting for an explanation. Your eyes grazed over his uncovered upper half, mouth salivating at the sight with intrusive memories flooding your mind. You only came over to offer your gratitude and you dominated in doing that but something about him just seemed so intriguing.

   "Elena said you saved my life." You spoke up, breaking the awkward silence.

   "I do remember doing something like that, yes." He nodded, looking into the ceiling as if having a back flash about the memory.

   "She also said that you came to see me everyday." you hummed and he shrugged.

   "That is also true. I saved your life, i was just making sure i was the first person you thanked when you woke up." He huffed.

   "Really?" you blinked.

"Yup. So... get to it." he motioned with his fingers for you to hurry it along.

   "I- uhm... Thank You. For saving my life. I owe you one."

   "You owe me one?" He laughed. "I saved your life and you 'owe me one'?"

   "What was i supposed to say?" You scoffed.

"I don't know, how about, 'gee Kai, i sure was wrong about you! You are one decent guy'!" He mimicked your voice. "You know you surround yourself with people who have equally as heinous things as i've done in my past but for some reason i'm the only one you give grief to." He ranted. "What makes me so different than Damon? Or Stefan? Or caroline? or-"

   "Okay, okay, I got it!" Your eyes rolled.

"How can i prove that i'm not that person anymore?" He continued even at your annoyance.

"I can't even think about you without having flashbacks of what we've done. I can't think about that without thinking about how wrong it was. How much it's going to hurt Bonnie when she finds out that i'm sleeping with the person she hates most in the world. I want to trust you, and give you that chance kai but i can't do it with a clear conscious."

"Who said you have to?" Your eyebrows furrowed but his face remained the same.

"We can't. I can't."

"For fucks sake, Y/N, just be honest with yourself for one moment. You're not guilty about what we did. Or we wouldn't have done it twice. You're guilty because you enjoyed it. You think about it often, and it makes you feel good." he huffed, sick of the excuses. "You hate that i've changed, and if you gave me that chance then you wouldn't be able to make me the bad guy in your story again."

"Even if you were remotely right," you full noticed how to gap was slowly closing between the two of you. "It still couldn't happen again."

"Then leave." Kai stated, taking you back by his bluntness. "The door is right there." He nodded towards his front door, but making sure to continue closing in on you.

"I'm sorry." Your voice was meek.

"Once you leave we can drop this and pretend like we never happened. Just like you want." He stated, staring you down as if prey to a predator.

"like i want..." you mimicked, clearly a bit out of it as you focusing on the distance closing.

"Kiss for the road?"

You stood watching his hands reach for your body. One hand attached to your waist and the other on your neck, making sure he could hold you close enough. You resist for a second, placing a hand on his chest in a feeble attempt to keep him away, but gave up soon as he pressed your lips together.

The kiss was softer than the ones you two shared before. It was softer... more enticing... almost like he was begging you not to go in the most intimate form he could pursue. Your fingers resting on his chest, feeling the speeding heartbeat beneath his shirt. You couldn't tell how long your lips were together, but the second he pulled away you felt a nagging force to keeping going. Your eyes were trained on his lips, unable to think about much else other than the very thing you swore would never happen again.

   It felt pathetic how badly you needed him. If you left now, it really would never happen again. If you continue to fight this you'd be longing for something you couldn't have and the thought drove you mad.

    "I might be a total fucking hypocrite." You sighed to yourself, Kai smiled, taking it as a sign.

    "Everyone is a hypocrite, don't beat yourself up about it." he hummed, taking them hymn of your shirt and pulling it above your head, tossing the fabric somewhere in the darkness. His hands went to the back of your thighs, swiftly sweeping up to straddle him as he carried you back to his bed room.

   The scent of him was strong you couldn't think about much else but him. He laid you back on his bed carefully, falling to his knees in front of you, pulling off your jeans without a word. There was a silence lingering in the air that neither you felt the need to break. His hands spread your legs apart, lips connected carefully with your panties covering the immediate wetness that contracted the second the two of you kissed.

   You sucked in a harsh breath, body on edge as Kai kissed around everywhere except exactly where you needed him. He used a finger to hook your panties to the side, allowing his lips to explore the flesh that awaited him. You hummed softly, eyes closed, allowing yourself to feels everything in the moment with no distractions. The only sounds in the air were you soft whines, and kai's ever so delicate kisses to your folds that seemed to be driving you crazy. He relished in your sultry noises and took his time, teasing and punishing for every moment he had to go without you in his bed.

   His lips wrapping around your clit so slightly, sucking just to feel your thighs clench around his face. Your juices beginning to coat the lower half of his face, back arching off the bed as you let out the most sinful noises you could manage.

"Kai please" you cried out, not caring about the volume of your pleas.

Kai moaned, sending vibrations straight through you. He pulled away for only a second, yanking your panties down your legs, discarding them across the room. Kai sucked in a deep breath of you as his tongue connected once more with your clit drawing tiny circles as he felt your thighs tightening around his head as you allowed your orgasm to wash over you.

Kai watched as your chest heaved, back falling onto the bed allowing you to recuperate. He began kissing the delicate skin all the way up your torso. His tongue gliding over your nipples, your fingers getting lost in his hair as he took his time sucking you in. His teeth grazed over your skin leaving warm patches wherever he could to turn into bruises for you to find the next morning.

"Still hate me?" Kai hummed against your skin.

   "You're such a dick." You smiled, pulling his face up to you, pressing a kiss to his lips, feeling his body weight relax over you. His body rested in between your legs, and you made sure to keep him closer as you wrapped your legs around him.

The kiss was harsh and passionate, different than every time before. Both of you hungry, needing to feel way closer than ever before. Your moans were whiny and desperate, your whole body aching for as much attention that he could give to you. Your hands shaking as you slipped the past the band of his pajamas pants. You cracked a smile finding that he wasn't wearing any. Your fingers wrapped around his length, slowly stroking his hardening length, almost whining at how big he felt even when he wasn't even all the way there.

   "Gonna be a good girl and pull me out?" Kai mumbled against your lips.

   You slowly moving his waistband down, pulling out his length, feeling his pressed against your folds. All you could think about was how warm he felt against your skin. His lips were pressing deeply into yours, rutted his hips against yours folds covering himself in your juices as you're hands traveled along his torso, studying every curve and indent along his skin.

   His teeth hooked on to your bottom lip as your jaw fell open. He entered slowly, feeling your walls clamping down around him tighter than your u had before. He held himself up on one elbow as the other hands kept your leg pressed into his side. He pressed deep into you until he felt himself bottoming out in you. You felt every inch of him as your breathing synced up with his.

   This time felt different than all the other times. You felt guilty because you enjoyed him so much before, but the thought of this being wrong wasn't even on your mind. His pace wasn't as brutal as before but you still felt amazing. His hips moving slowly pushing into you at a decent pace.

   "God kai" you moaned, so desperately aching for another release you felt as though you were actually going to lose your mind. His cock dragging along your walls making it difficult to focus on much else.

His teeth scraped against your skin trying his best to leave a plethora of different marks for the world to see once he was done with you.

"Feel so tight, y/n." Kai moaned, letting go of your leg just to wrapped his fingers around your neck. You moaned bringing your hand to hold your leg, opening yourself up and allowing him to reach a deep depth of your insides. "such a good girl"

"Please" Your nails digging into your own skin "Harder" You pleaded.

It didn't take long for Kai to obliged. His fingers tighter around your neck, slamming his hips harder into yours than he had been. He sped up his thrusting, his hot panting breaths landing on your skin as your whines grew louder the closer to your orgasm you got.

"fuck kai" you cried out, feeling him slam against that spongy spot in your core over and over again.

Your eyelids fluttered as the sensations took over. You could barely register any of the nonsense you were babbling about as your hips began to buck back into his. Your back arching off the bed, your hand dropping your leg to move down to your clit circling furiously as your orgasm slowly rippling through you.

Kai's hips stuttered as he felt your walls convulsing around him. He watching as the wetness in your eyes forms into a single tear, dripping down the side of your face as you cried his name out in pleasure. He felt your cum coat his cock as he slowed his movements down.

"You're so pretty." He groaned, making sure to leave a trail of kisses along your jaws line.

"mm you're so pretty" You moaned, your mind still on the way his cock felt buried in you.

"Guess I taught you proper manners after all." He grinned, slowly removing himself from you causing a soft whine at the loss of contact.

"shut up." you smiled softly.

"there she is." He hummed. "and you were doing so good." He tutted, shaking his head. "I don't even get a thank you." You let out a soft 'hmph' watching brought himself up, stabilizing himself on both knees. His cock was still hard, standing on its own, with a bright red tip, glistening for your finish.

"You didn't..." you frowned slightly.

"Not yet... i'm not done with you." He hummed, placing his hand around your neck once again, squeezing tightly as he yanked you up. The movement practically made you cum again as he brought your face to his. "You know you're not done yet right?" He asked innocently and you nodded eyes wide and ready to please. "To think if you weren't so stubborn we could've been like this way sooner." He slowly shook his head. "I mean we're perfect for each other, don't you think?" You moaned as his hand squeezed tighter around your neck beginning to challenge your air way. "Speak."

"Yes" Your voice was desperate.

"Don't you think if I wasn't so persistent for you we wouldn't be here right now?" He tilted his head as if there was no wrong answer.

"K-kai-"

"Don't you think i deserve a Thank You at the very least?"

"Y-yes. Thank You." He brought his lips down to yours, connecting ever so softly for just a moment.

"Again."

"Thank you."

"Thank you for making me cum kai." He spoke in an octave higher, mocking your horned out state.

"Thank you for making me cum, Kai" You repeated, making him smile.

"Thank You for fucking me stupid, Kai."

"T-thank you for fucking me stupid." You felt your pussy beginning tingling as he continued rot ain't you, making you thank him for everything he did to you.

"Wanna show me how grateful you really are, princess?" He asked and you nodding the best you could with his hand still tightly wrapped around your flesh. "I still need to cum, pretty girl. Gonna help me out?"

He let go of your neck allowing you gaze to sift down to his cock, precum oozing from his tip. Your mouth began to water as you looked back up to him.

"Come on, baby." He placed his hand on the back of your head, slowly guiding you down until you were face to face with his cock.

The way his hands were placed on your head let you know you weren't going to be doing much besides acting as a vessel for his release. You were fine with that. How had a hand under your chin, and one on the top of your head. You used you still shaky hands to bring the tip to your lips.

The bitter saltiness of his precum dripping from him made him look even more appetizing.

"are you ready, princess?" He asked, his breaths deeper than before as your tongue teased the slit of his cock.

"Yes sir."

Your lips parted, allowing his hips to push himself into you slowly. You moaned on his cock sending sensitive vibrations through him making him shudder at the feel. He moved his hips slowly back and forth, reveling in the way his cock dragged along your tongue.

   "Fuck y/n" He hung his head back as he continued.

   His pace sped up as he chased down the orgasm that was just in his finger tips. Hour continuously felt his tip colliding with the back of your throat. Your eyes were tearing up as the lewd wet squelching sounds filled the space. His pants and groans as he used you mercilessly caused slicked your core all over again.

   "Shit" He pulled out suddenly, one of his hands going to stroke himself as he slowly slipping off the edge "Where do you want it angel?" He moaned, You breathing was heavy as you slapped his hand away, putting your mouth back on his length, head moving quickly answering his question without words.

   Your cheeks hollowed as you took him as far as you could allow yourself. Whatever you couldn't fit in your mouth you used your hands for. Soon his hips were jerking into your mouth, body tensing as he spilled his seed onto your tongue.

“God you’re so perfect.” He huffed, breathing heavily as he brought his hand back down to your throat pulling you back up to eleven with him.

You opened your mouth slightly, hanging out your tongue to show how you discarded of the warmth he provided. The smirk on his face grew, before bringing your lips together in another soft kiss.

“Let me take you on a date.” Kai spoke, listening to your labored breathing.

You were silent looking into his eyes. There wasn’t an ounce of humor in his tone. He was being serious. You were used to his jokes and sarcasm but his seriousness was something new to you.

“I just… i need time, Kai.”

“Well i don’t. I don’t want to take it slow, or warm everyone else up to the idea. We know what they’re going to say.”

“So you know it’s not that easy”

“Why’d you come here then?” His hand dropped for your throat.

“what?”

“You could’ve called, or waited for the next time that you saw me… but you came to me. Why?” You’re mouth opened to speak but there were no words to say. “You came here because you wanted to. You know what you want Y/N, so just accept it.” The look in his eyes almost felt

like he was pleading with you.

“I…”

“Y/N… please.”

You watched as a tear fell from his eye. You waited in shock, staring at the Heretic who clearly was putting all his card on the table. Naked and afraid of rejection. He felt like a kid again begging for the people he cared about lost to accept him for who he is.

“Yes…” You could barely hear your own voice. His eyebrows furrowed, leaning closer to you slightly to make sure he heard correctly.

“Y-yes?”

“I’ll go in a date with you…”

[jiraisupportgroup]

why do you get to sit in your heated home with daddy’s money and tell everyone who can and can’t wear jirai kei?

I don’t usually respond to stuff like this, especially because I’m fairly certain this was just ripped from a popular j-fashion creators video, but:

I feel like I make it quite clear that when I talk about jirai kei it’s just my opinions. I openly state that I’m likely a dumbass and you should take my word with a grain of salt considering I’m not a spokesperson for the Jirai Kei community, I’m not an expert on Jirai Kei, I also don’t speak Japanese so I can’t rly access a lot of “OG” jirai kei content that launched the community.

Additionally: I’ve never stated that anyone can’t wear anything. The closest I’ve gotten to that is when I state that I don’t generally believe “jirai kei” is the appropriate term for the fashion (therefore you can’t rly “wear it” if we want to be super technical) or when I said that “fashion jirais” who complain about the community can fuck off.

Never at any point in that did I say that anyone can’t wear anything. If you want to wear girly kei or dark girly or larme or ryousangata or whatever the fuck you want to wear - by all means please do. My main point is if you don’t like the jirai kei community, don’t interact with it. You can post coords and find friends and have a lot of fun with the clothing if that’s want you want to do. You can buy Liz Lisa & MCM bags and generally live your best ryousangata life. You don’t have to interact with the jirai kei community to do that. Block the people you find annoying. Block tags, block accounts, block whatever you don’t want to see. No one is going to be mad at you for not wanting to interact with the “dark side” of jirai kei (as people love to call it for some reason) UNLESS you’re adamantly saying “the dark side is wrong” and then using a shitload of jirai-related tags. Other tags for these clothes exist. Separate the two if you want, I don’t give a fuck; jirai kei doesn’t own the clothing.

I’m not going to sit here and outright defend people in the jirai kei community posting people’s coords and bullying them, I’m not gunna sit here and defend the fatphobic or racist things that have been said on jirai kei twt. I will point out that those posts are not actually super common in the jirai kei community, and the people that post them generally aren’t very well liked by other landmines either, they also tend to be very young. It’s a really big community. There are going to be “bad apples” especially because it’s a community based around mental health issues. You can’t look at that handful of posts and say “the entire community is toxic and awful”. Venting & the like are very common, but it’s pretty rare that I see people actively posting hate like that, and there is a huge difference between the two. Most of the landmines I see are too scared to even make vague callout posts. Maybe that’s just Tumblr, idk, but honestly the amount of hate I see in this community is rather small.

Secondarily to your point; my house is not fucking heated. I can barely afford to run the AC in the summer or the heat in the winter - typically I turn it on when my BF is here and turn it off when he leaves to save money. I have my own apartment. I work for my own apartment. I can barely fucking afford it. I make about $2700 a month and my bills add up to be about $2400 a month (and it’s not like an expensive or nice apartment it’s literally full of roaches and my oven doesn’t work). I usually end up spending about $100 of the leftover on cat food, and then have $200 left over for gas to get to work AND food AND toiletries for the MONTH.

I don’t have “daddy’s money”. I live by myself about 8 hours away from my family; they don’t have shit to send me. My dad died 3 years ago and left us with 50k in debt because he decided paying taxes was optional. When that happened - I was making 17.50 an hour and I had the HIGHEST WAGE out of anyone in my family. I was trying to finish college which I was attending on a scholarship bc I couldn’t fucking afford it, I was working overtime, trying to organize my dad’s funeral bc no one else in my family could do it, and paying tax payments. “Daddy’s money” was a negative sum. I frequently send leftover cash to my family if there is any just to help them in any way I can.

The cute and nice things I can afford are typically bought either because I pick up overnight shifts at my secondary serving job or from sugar daddies. Although I stopped sugaring about 3 years ago.

I started working when I was 15. I started SW when I was 17 to help my family pay rent. I did SW from about 17 years old to 21 and stopped shortly after my father died because I didn’t have the time anymore. And I fucking hated it but it made money.

Don’t fucking come at me saying I’ve got a nice house and daddy’s money when I’m sitting in a roach-infested apartment that I work myself to the fucking bone for & I spent multiple years trying to pay off my dad’s debt.

Fuck right off with that dude.

[rayofmisfortune]

AHA uhhh I had these guys refs in works for over a month and never got around to actually finishing them- so UH

*throws random mer doodles at you instead*

They help me get through art block lmfao

Sun isn't really based on any real kind of fish, I just went with what felt right. His frills behave and look like kelp. I wanted them to kind of flow in the water and for him to emote with them, cuz yes jdnfbc

Uhhh he has secondary eyelids cuz salt water and protection. Haven't really though too deeply abt it ehe

Moon however- oh boi I may have gone overboard with Moon. Took inspiration from leafy seadragons. The weird things on his head? Those are based on the leafy appendages leafy seadragons have around their body. Also wanted him to have a different way of emoting soo they behave like animal ears :> They're not real ears ofc, just for show.

They live close to a coral reef aaand both of them are omnivores. Moon can fall asleep literally anywhere and Sun has to frequently drag his tail back to their shipwreck den so he doesn't float too far away jdnfbf

Aha hhh I'd be here for hours if I were to type out all the info I have on them and I don't have the time for that haha so uhhh

To close it off- some silly old school doodles cuz why not (feat. fyhuif Sun n Moon)

[lethalrexie]

so a lil bout me if anyone wants to be moots: (i also have a backup in case i lose this acct, it’s the same username but the “e” in lethal is 3)

you 1,000% do not need to read all of this, however i truly think it is super helpful considering i was raised by a dietitian.

im pro-recovery JUST BY CHOICE NOT FORCE. so PLS JUST BLOCK DONT REPORT. we all have backups and backups for our backups. so it’s pointless. you’re breaking up a community where we get support. so fvck u if u report.

my “rexie tips n tricks” losing weight healthily yada yada yada is below the cut if you’re interested!

cw: 180lxs 81kg (i know it got out of hand 🥲)

gw: 130lxs 58kg (doing everything i can to get here by christmas)

ugw: not sure, just wanna see my b0nes. maybe 111lxs (50kg)? (gimme that angel number baybeee)

lw: 145lxs 65kg

so basically, if you do these things i can guarantee you 100% will lose weight. if you’ve plateaued, if you’re just starting out, if you’re trying to take it slow after relapsing, even if you’re petite and need a metab boost to start loosing lxs again, i’m not saying it’s good to be apart of this community but im along this ride w ya so. here u go.

1. keep your e@ting window as small as possible aka eat to live don’t live to eat (the r3xie motto 🤪). i’m f@sting minimum 16:8 and i try to extend that. but major thing is don’t beat yourself up if you can’t make it 16hrs and be happy the days you can make it longer!! esp if your just starting out.

2. stay low c@l. i’m trying my best to stay under 500 c@l/day. and consume that how it works for you. if five 100 c@l snacks over 8 hrs work best some days that’s ok. if OMAD works best, great! my mom is a dietitian and i promise, eating a little of each food group (dairy, carb ik scary, protein, veg & fruit) will help your metab which in the long run will help you l0se more weight. sometimes just having one protein bar mid day works 4 me. others i need a full meal. fuel your body or you will burn muscle which leads to organ damage.

3. don’t do LONG term fasts. i’d say up to a week with heavy liquids is okay. and not just water, incorporate broths, mio, even sugar free jello is good (if it’s clear typically it’s ok) but long term fasts can lower your metabolism, deplete electrolytes, and sodium, which long term is going to bloat you, keep weight on (or make you gain it back quickly), and overall make you feel like shit (which could lead to hospitalization)

4. don’t eat refined sugar or refined foods. do literally AS MUCH AS YOU CAN to eat sugar free and whole foods. i have a major sweet tooth so i turn to sugar free jello/pudding, sf caramels, halo top ice cream if i REALLY need it. otherwise i do sweet fruits and veggie based substitutions for carbs. i use cauliflower rice, zucchini noodles, or there’s these great hearts of palm noodles.

5. eat tons of fiber!! laxatives will help momentarily, consistent fiber will keep your 💩 regular thus keeping your body from holding onto it aka extra lxs. i add unflavored benefiber to a lot of my drinks (the flavored ones have added sugar). i honestly could promise you that fiber will help with shedding !bs.

6. drink as much water as you possibly can. yes you can become over-hydrated so add electrolytes or legit just a lil salt to your water here n there. but your body is going to retain water (!bs), and bloat if you are dehydrated. #1 thing to remember is you are depleting your body of what it wants. finding a way to basically trick it makes it easier and quicker to lose fat.

7. stay distracted! discipline and hunger may hurt now, regret and guilt are going to hurt 50x worse later. a grumbly tummy is not worth it. get some motivational phrases, tactics, distractions, that work for you and RELY ON THEM. water, i use mio in mine when i’m desperate, gum, diet soda, bubbly water, reading, tv, ANYTHING. i have other reblogs with some good motivational tactics. i also look at th!nspø as well as pics of my own body multiple times per day to keep me on track. YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS GOING TO BE MOTIVATED SO YOU MUST BE DISCIPLINED. i repeat that to myself 100000 times a day.

8. incorporate foods/drinks that speed up your metab. coffee, green tea, spicy foods (pepper, cayenne pepper), cinnamon, B12 there’s sooo many. and this goes hand in hand with making sure you’re getting your vitamins. picking up a general multivitamin will help make it so your body doesn’t want to cling onto every last cal it’s fed.

9. exercise if you are mentally & physically able to. i have some other limiting factors which make me unable to go to the gym or get as many steps in as id like. an avg day is 2k-5k steps for me rotting on the couch. i PROMISE like 100% money back guarantee (srry bad joke i swear im not a damn ana coach 🙄) your diet is 1,000,000x more important than any exercise you’re going to get in. exercise will help with toning so i try to get some laying ones done on the couch but dude you burn calories just existing. so if you eat lower than that which is 1k-2k (you can look it up it’s your TDEE) you will lose weight. it may be slightly slower than if you walked 20k steps/day or worked out 5 hrs every day but give it time.

literal str8 up proof of this^^^ is my father. he’s a gym junkie like going every morning at 4am (insanity but not my kind), but was eating a lot, and garbage. high carb and sugar intake. and even though he was working out A TON with a lot of steps/day he was gaining fat. he came to me and i told him str8 up to eat less and stop treating his body like a dumpster. eat healthier. homie is shedding lxs.

so besides all that, if you wanna be moots ill probs just vent and post th!nspø

SORRY IM A CERTIFIED YAPPER

[malebodyexhibit]

The Grass is Always Greener (a Next Door Boy tale)

That's basically me. I'm a Japanese-American model who grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah. As you can see, I value a hard work ethic. Working out is a part-time job, literally. I post fit inspo on Instagram where I partner with various healthy brands. Then I model with an agency. It's usually for asian audiences in the international market.

You'd think I had it all, but I don't. I'm a gay asian man in world where white cock is worshipped. I can't tell you how many times I've been passed up for a white guy. So many failed hook ups when they realize I'm asian. Forget my rock-hard ass or my six pack stomach, when it comes to revealing my face, I get blocked so often. There are of course guys who love asian guys, but when I unsheathe my 9 inch cock, they feel I'm not playing to their fantasy of femme asian man well enough.

This isn't to mention all the years in public school of teasing. It's hard to take pride in traditional cooking when the memories of classmates making faces at the 'weird smell' comes up.

Sure I'm young, fit, and rich, but when Next Door Boy came to my attention, I knew what I wanted.

I wanted to become white. To finally fit in.

This is me now. My name is Mark and unlike my last name, you could say it without thinking that I'm asian. Sure I'm no longer packing a 9-inch sword in my pants, but I've gotten so much ass that I couldn't compare numbers. I've been slowly working this body to be more ripped. I've been hitting the gym everyday. I hadn't noticed how many guys check you out at the gym. Maybe it's because my white ass fills out my compression shorts well. Or maybe this body is just that more attractive.

I still own my old body. The company is keeping it 'on ice,' which is to say an employee is wearing it to maintain my old life while I'm living as a college WASP. It's a totally different feeling to enter a place and know that people want you there.

It's a bit difficult though. I miss my family and my parts of my old life. The food especially. Yet, when I try to stomach it, it just tastes and smells too weird now. I can't believe I've been eating that most of my life. Maybe my taste buds haven't gotten used to it, but I've just stuck with chicken breasts and protein shakes.

Another thing that makes me feel guilty is that my dating app has been blowing up nonstop. I feel like a puppet master. I can make them do anything with a little tease of sex. And to give something back to the asian community, I hook up with some occasionally. I do make them beg for it and I love when they moan and whimper like bitches. Sure my cock might be smaller, but the way I make them cum without touching their dick is insanely satisfying.

I used to worry that I might never go back to being asian. Now I'm worried I can't be the white jock I was supposed to be.

Can I ask you a question? Which would you rather be?

[ladylooch]

hi babe!!! i was wondering if you could do a nico fic where reader has her period and is just not feeling good and he takes care of her and tons of fluff? 🥺💗 thank you i literally adore your writing!!!!

A/N: Thank you so much!! I’m glad you’re enjoying my content! Seriously, comments like this never get old and fill my lil cup right up! 💕 Sorry this is a little late. I was floating all over the place late last week hehe.

Word Count: 814

Warnings: Pretty fluffy, always a swearword or five from me, talks of periods, and pain. this is so sweet you might get a cavity. No I do not reimburse dental bills because of my writing 😉

You and Nico are out to brunch, enjoying a quiet, week day break in the middle of a bustling city. All around you, people rush to work, to-go coffee’s clutched tightly in their grips. But not you two. You and Nico casually lay back in your chairs, your foot in his lap across the table. His thumb strokes absentmindedly at your ankle as he reads the menu. 

“I think I’m going to get the eggs benedict.” He concludes, shoving it away.

“I’ve been dying for french toast all week.” He reaches for his menu again, sliding it back to read the description.

“Salted caramel too.” He nods in approval.

“Yeah, I want anything sweet.” You gesture to your cup of coffee which you dumped four sugars into. You know you’re PMSing hard and warned Nico about it on your walk here.

“Whatever you want, babe.” He murmurs, dipping his thumb deeper into your foot beneath your sock. You watch him from across the table, drinking in his dark stubble, plumped morning lips and melting chocolate eyes. He scans the street out the window behind you as you sigh when he hits just the right spot. “Hey now.” He warns. 

“It’s too late.” You tell him, placing your hand on the building of cramps in your lower abdomen. She’s here.

“Boo.” He frowns.

You blow out a heavy sigh, hoping that will help relieve some of the pressure. You order, then being chatting about the Devils’ upcoming road trip.

“Carolina, Nashville, Detroit, then home.” You nod, imagining the grind he is about to go through. He’ll leave tomorrow after practice. His nails scratch at his stubble as you adjust in your chair, removing your foot from him. You lean further over the table, trying to relieve the pain that is shooting through your uterus. 

“Ow.” You moan. A concerned crinkle forms between his eyebrows. 

“You okay, baby?”

“Yeah. I just need some Advil.” You dig in your purse, frowning when you don’t see the travel pack that is usually there. “Shit.” You mumble, digging further, getting desperate to see the small, circular cylinder. “I guess I’ll have to wait until we get home.” You wince again, digging your hands deeper in to provide counter pressure to the cramping.

“No. There is a drug store like two blocks down. I’ll go get it.” He stands immediately, taking one last sip of his coffee.

“Nico, it’s fine.” You call to him. He ignores you, walking out of the restaurant without even looking back for further discussion.

Ten minutes later, he returns just when your food comes out.

“Thank you.” You say graciously to him, popping the two pills into your mouth and swallowing them.

“You know seeing you in pain wrecks me.” He shrugs, stuffing a bite of his breakfast between his lips. 

“Yeah, that’s why you’re my favorite.” His cheesy smile makes you chuckle.

The pain eventually begins to subsided, but you feel bloated and a bit queasy, so your French toast is relatively untouched by the time Nico finishes his meal. You put it in a box but know it’s kinda pointless- you’re not going to eat it. 

“Ugh.” You complain as you walk through the apartment door, putting your hands on your lower back where the muscles are tense. 

“Go lay on the floor.” He points to the living room. “I’ll work on that and we can watch a movie. Whatever you want.”

“Really? Even catch up on The Bachelor.” He closes his eyes in regret, but opens them and nods. You can’t even pretend. Your laughter bursts from your mouth as you reach for the remote. “I’m feeling nice today. How about Mighty Ducks?” You begin to pull up Disney+ then lay on your stomach, waiting for Nico and his healing hands.

Together, you are quiet as his fingers work into your sore flesh. Your head is propped on your crossed arms, eyes closed, listening to the movie rather than watching. Eventually, your eyes are shut because you’re falling asleep. Between Nico’s hands and the pain medicine, you’re feeling considerable better and just want to cuddle. 

“Baby, let’s go to bed.” He suggests before you can. He turns the TV off, then rolls you onto your back so he can help you up. He throws an arm around your shoulder, smooching your temple as you enter your room.

“Snuggle me so hard I can’t move.” You request as you both slide beneath your heavy, white comforter. 

“You got it.” He chuckles, wrapping his large hands around you, pulling you to him by your butt. You nuzzle your nose into the crook of his neck. He squeezes you to him to the point you can only take in shallow breaths. 

“Yeah, just like this.” You confirm as your legs intertwine between his knees. His thigh secures you in place.

Sleep pulls you further from reality as Nico ghosts his lips over yours then works against each side of your chin. 

“Love you.” He whispers. 

Nico Hischier is just what the doctor ordered.

[minsungchronology]

My Personal Opinions on Minsung's Dynamic (2023)

Disclaimer: I am not trying to pass off my opinions as facts. This is my personal interpretation of what is laid out right in front of us. I could be completely off base because I don���t know these guys personally, so take this with a grain of salt and feel free to disagree!

I feel like this is the year where they’re as blatant as they possibly get.

This year, a lot more eyebrow raising moments come about. Ironically, a lot of them completely go under the radar under more popular moments (I.e: the neck kiss) that can be explained away as normal skinship (Han has kissed other members on the neck before) or even fanservice.

LK and Han seem a lot more settled into themselves as the year progresses. However, a lot of the habits we’ve seen of them have not changed one bit. The way they act (in concerts especially) directly parallels to how they were during all of those fansigns back in 2018. They’re always goofing off together, always finding ANY kind of way to interact. Sometimes I don’t even think they realize they’re in their “own world” at times cause it seems so habitual at this point. Someone who has seen the group in person has said it’s a lot more (extreme?) if you drift off to the side and pay close attention to those two.

This year (I don’t put fan sightings or airport pics, except the Jeju one lmao) there’s been an array of fan sightings (+ a few direct stories of their hangouts) of them during their off time as well. Like in previous years, they always seem to find a way to spend time together outside of work.

Now for a moment that I haven’t seen being talked about a lot:

Apart from their concert shenanigans, I think this one is one of the most telling. It’s during the YT live they have before Lollapalooza with Seungmin and I.N – the one where LK has the zoomies. LK asks Han for his hotel room number and Han laughs because he obvs can’t give it away on live (a lot of people freaked out about this but that’s not the part that made me raise my eyebrows at all, there was nothing questionable about that imo). It’s Seungmin’s reaction, rather. As soon as LK/Han are within a closer distance and Han responds, he literally scoots up closer to the camera to block them and stays frozen for a while. I tried to think of any other reason why that happened, but nothing else seems to come to mind.

Moments that got a kick out of me:

Han stomping his feet as soon as LK strips off his coat (for him, not for the fans 😭😭😭) during Sydney day 2, as he was watching him through the big screen.

LK being V.I.P to Han’s muscles and blatantly checking him out before Han covers himself up during the one of the later dome tour concerts.

Han twirling his butt for LK (im not making this up) during the soundcheck before the second Los Angeles concert and the look LK gives him as he’s approaching. 😵‍💫

And the long-awaited moment I’ve been itching to talk about. Maniac Tour - Sydney day 1.

Hooo boy.

There’s a lot to unpack, but I don’t want to go into details at all, for good reason (I think it’s pretty clear if you watch the clips). The way they were acting throughout that concert had me speechless, like they couldn’t turn off their giddiness for one second. Take a shot every time Han’s butt gets smacked/touched in that day alone. LK getting on YT live a couple of days after and trying to explain the ~lower body workout~ they had. If you notice how nervous he was trying to explain himself- 😵‍💫

Han couldn’t even sit down prop– *gunshots*

But anyways, it’s the most sus moment between them I’ve ever seen.

And 5-Star promotions. It was a time when Han was feeling noticeably under the weather. If you watch all throughout that period, Lee Know is so attentive and watchful of him. While Han strikes me as a “words” kind of person (case in point: their 2 kids show episode, Han was doing most of the talking lmao), Lee Know comes across as an “acts of service” type of guy. You’re not really going to hear him wax poetic about the members, but you’ll see his love for them through his actions. This is so evident here. You can see how much LK cares about him; the love he has for Han has always been so obvious, since the beginning.

From what we’re able to see, LK never seems to pressure (or even playfully tease) Han to act a certain way. He lets him be, all while being super attentive and being playful/funny as a way to make him feel better.

Also, Han being the one to write and share “Want So Bad” (+ the times during the tour where he pointed at LK when fans would show him husband/boyfriend/girlfriend posters; I wasn't able to find the footage paired w/ the posters of those moments unfortunately) makes all of this so bittersweet. Especially when you look back at his reactions towards LK in 2018 with anything “flirty” or potentially anything that toes the platonic line (i.e: the feelings discussion in the 1st 2KR). Having that little insight really pieces a lot of things together, especially when you go back and watch their moments from previous years. Again, they've come so far. 😭😭

My personal opinion:

I believe this is the year they want us to know, or rather the fans who have long suspected something going on between them.

Here, they’re at their 5th year of being idols (almost 6 years as a group). At this point, they know just how much they can get away with. The act of shipping is pretty ubiquitous amongst different groups because of the conditions we see them in (members are in constant close proximity with each other and we constantly see them interact). Which makes it easy for fans to partake in the act of shipping. These guys have been shipped with each other (and with other members!) for years now.

Skinship, Shipping, and “Bromance” isn’t exactly discouraged at all either. There’s a long history of fans shipping idols together, within and outside of their groups. Fanservice surrounding this is also widespread. I’ve followed enough groups over the years to notice certain/similar patterns amongst the shipping side of the fanbase and the idols concerned.

Which is where Minsung come in.

A few of the things they do (or the group as a whole, rather) can be passed off as just that (some of the 'ments at the Japan DOME concert tour come to mind), but a lot of things we’ve seen over the years cannot be explained away with FS or even SKZ-typical skinship and flirting. The “slip-ups” (I.e: Sydney day 1 lmfao) and the consistent patterns of their behavior I’ve compiled throughout these videos (I.e: LKs behavior in 2018, 2022, and 2023, especially) are at the tip of the iceberg.

There’s the “you’re my boyfriend, too” moment. The reason why I believe it made the final cut in the vlog was because it’s directly quoted from a show (also telling of how clever LK is). A moment like this could easily be written off as FS, however, it’s their reactions to it all that make me believe it’s legitimately a safe but clever way of saying something (before the more blatant Want So Bad was even written). As soon as LK jokingly says that his Gimpo friend is his boyfriend, he looks straight at Han and says “right?”, as if trying to egg on a reaction from him. Han visibly looks taken aback, like he was almost about to choke on his food, probably not expecting LK at all to say anything like that. But Han (probably also familiar with that quote) says “What about me?”. And LK responds accordingly.

Also, Felix/Changbin did a SKZ record love duet a couple of years back. Chan also suggested Felix do one with him during a (2KR?) episode. He recently released one with I.N too. It’s not exactly foreign to them.

Artists of the opposite sex collab on love songs/duets all the time. But I obviously don’t think any of the other members are more than platonic in any way shape or form because they don’t have consistent actual eyebrow raising moments that can’t be explained away with SKZ’s usual brand of jokey and/or playful flirting (i.e: CB/HJ’s dynamic), their no-boundary skinship, or run-of-the-mill fanservice that’s not unusual in the industry.

Opinions on the 2 Kids Show Episode (cause someone asked me about it and I thought it would be appropriate to add it onto here):

FIRST THINGS FIRST…

I am shocked by the near lack of teasing from Changbin. I thought he was going to go all the way with the teasing (in a similar fashion LK did with Felix and CB). He did get a few couple of things in though (Like how Han said he was too tired to go back to his dorm after he hung out with LK even though they live a floor apart) and CB being like “ooooh wow that’s a creative excuse”.

I’m also surprised, but not surprised by the vague description of “Want So Bad” from Han. First, during his Q&A on bubble, and then during the 2KS episode. To me, that speaks volumes. Especially when you compare it with how Han normally speaks about his work and with how other members (who also did love songs) spoke about their own duets. 

And them saying certain things about their bond, but then kind of contradicting themselves minutes later is interesting??? A lot of things were kept vague-ish throughout the episode - compare with Felix/Changbin being more open/specific about their friendship and joking about certain things like the pre debut kiss vs Minsung being more lowkey-ish.

If Minsung just released “Want So Bad” without doing much of anything questionable, then I would honestly believe they are just friends because, again, love duets aren’t exactly foreign to the group.

But take all of the genuinely eyebrow raising moments + the love song (and its more specific lyrics, i.e: the cosmos flower mention; get closer I'm not playing around) + the near lack of/vaguer discussion compared to other SKZ records/try to compare their "discussion" to I.N/Chan's and Felix/Changbin's + Han specifically saying as he went over the lyrics he was reminded of LK. It paints a pretty damning picture IMO.

Which is why I believe they’re using whatever they have within their means (the pervasive shipping culture, the industry’s familiarity with fanservice, other things that overlap with what other members have done/said in the past like the the duets, etc.) to say as much as they can possibly say without damaging their careers and possibly the careers of the people surrounding them.

[gogodollie]

Sister Imperator and Papa Nihil Romance Masterpost

Saw someone the other day claim that Sister Imperator was a bitch for leading Nihil on and although I blocked them instantly, it haunts me because genuinely what are you smoking to EVER get that vibe.

These two are old people and they’re crazy. Nihil is just really into the chase and Sister still thinks that playing hard to get is sexy. Once again, they’re old.

Chapter Media

Chapter One: New Blood

Sister Imperator: “Not here… not now- not like this.”

At this point I don’t think there’s much from the prequelle livestream that would confirm the two in a current sexual/romantic relationship so that means that is the first instance where there’s an insinuation that there is in fact something sexual going on between them. Sister redirects Nihil rather than shutting him down entirely just makes it clear that this is a mutual thing and not just Nihil being a horndog. Also, the fact that this was a direct result of the sexual charisma spiel and involves a lot of heavy breathing (and several glances downward from Imperator.)

Chapter Five: The Call

Papa Nihil: “You have always had excellent critiquing of films, Sister.”

Sister Imperator: “Papa… Tell me, are you alone?” “And what are you wearing?”

Sister Imperator: “I’m just trying to- forget it.”

This is one of my favorite scenes ever but the secondhand embarrassment it gives me is so bad (my poor girl Imperator has been in that hospital for WEEKS I can’t even blame her for attempting it). Anyways, another clear example of Sister being receptive to Nihil’s flirting and even going on to (very poorly) attempt to reciprocate. She wants to get fucked sooooooo bad it makes her look stupid. If Nihil was a little smarter this could have worked but unfortunately Sister has no game and Nihil was on the toilet.

Chapter Eight: Kiss The Go-Goat

Papa Nihil: “Why can’t I have another chance?”

Sister Imperator: “Do I have to remind you what happened last time?”

This part gets quoted a lot in reference to Sister rejecting Nihil and her lack of forgiveness towards the cheating incident. However, all things given, I don’t think those lines directly are about their relationship given the context that they’re said in (but they can definitely be taken that way when considering the KTGG sequence and ending). This reads more as Imperator reminding Nihil of his failed attempt to lead the band after he criticizes Copia

Chapter Nine: Tomb It May Concern

Sister Imperator: “Ugh it’s perverse: Papa.”

Sister Imperator: “I…had his balls.”

This is the first instance that Sister brings up a sexual connotation with the title “Papa” which she clarifies in Chapter Ten: Home Coming & Special Guests when Copia asks if she won’t call him Papa because of “the old guy.” Then obviously she just straight up says she had Nihil’s balls in a metaphorical and literal sense much to Copia’s horror.

Non-Chapter Media

Prequelle Promo Sermon

Papa Nihil: “Well Sister you’ve never made a mistake in my eyes.”

Sister Imperator: “Isn’t he sweet? Very generous man, he always was.”

Dance Macabre Music Video

I take this mv with a grain of salt because nothing about it aligns with the 60s and to me it feels more like a retelling of their meeting from Copia’s memories, rumors he may have heard, and whatever misinformation Sister and Nihil had spread about the event themselves. That being said, I do know there are a lot of people that accept that this was the actual first meeting and wedding of Imperator and Papa which actually is insanely romantic. They’re like if Romeo and Juliet were cult leaders and also in their mid-twenties. Love at first sight! Also the first insight into a past relationship between the two.

SIOSP Promo Live

Papa Nihil: “Oh Sister, I wish you were here- I wish Sister was here. She’d be so proud of me.”

Just a guy missing his girlfriend nothing to see here folks.

Ghost on Ghost

Literally just look at them. The context of the scene they’re recreating is enough to sum everything up, the video being posted on Valentine’s day, those old people were getting NASTY.

Mary on a Cross Music Video

There’s a lot of things about this music video that make me crazy and I would like to begin with the confirmation that the two did in fact live together in a non-abbey setting (PLEASE peep the two empty glasses and wine bottle on their porch table). Aside from the violent aftermath of Nihil’s little on stage scandal, the two obviously were seriously together in some sort of way that would both warrant this reaction from Sister and also would involve them living together (mind you it’s still the 60s and this sort of arrangement between an unmarried couple would be uncommon but also they’re fucking satanists so. whatever). A little peak into Sister being the one to initiate intimacy even after the cheating and what their messy future will look like together (but this time around she doesn’t forget her bra).

The Future is a Foreign Land Music Video

This is mainly just about Nihil’s perspective on the breakup and the instant regret he has once realizing that Sister is gone for good. Though he may be an idiot, Papa is genuinely willing to give up everything to have her again and in his little drug induced haze is dreaming about a future where she does forgive him for all that he’s done. Also the way that dystopian Sister/Papa fucking explode and old futuristic Sister/Papa just fade away makes me think that perhaps there’s an essence of moving on in a physical sense in the future but for my sake (needs to see those old people as much as possible) I pray this is not true.

Final thoughts:

In my humble opinion, I think by the time Maralyn took over as Sister there was a shift in her relationship with Papa Nihil that made them go from strictly sexual to romantic again- the next few chapters and RHRN make them seem almost domestic as they take on more parental roles. This could be because of Nihil’s death and Imperator being able to forgive him because she is quite literally one of the few people that can see/interact with him (she was NOT risking another cheating incident, who knows what that 80 yr old was capable of when he was still alive OR she was just finally able to make peace with it because Nihil in some sense is an entirely different person than the man that cheated on her all those years ago (aka a fucking ghost without a physical form).

At the end of the day these two are STUPID and despite the assumed breakup in the Mary on a Cross music video, I don’t think they’re capable of being away from each other for long. God knows they fucked at least twice directly after watching Papa Nihil kiss three different women in front of her so I really would not doubt that they were still hooking up from the time after the moac mv and before their first older appearances.

[hwnglx]

what's between v and jennie? feelings, friendship or smth else?

taehyung + jennie

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

did they ever date? kingofsw&tower&knofw, deathrx+star

yes, they were dating. but not anymore. i'm sensing that the leak of the photos was a big turning point for taehyung and jennie, that required them to step back and look at the situation from a more objective view. it's almost like they forgot there even was the possibility for someone to "expose" them, and were just living in the heat of the moment. it was a more short-lived, but very impactful and meaningful relationship for the both of them. a lot of passion and longing for each other. there still seems to be an inability to move on, not being able to let go of whatever they had, and a clear wish to rekindle. (especially on taehyung's side)

how does taehyung feel towards jennie? 2ofw&queofw, emperrx&9ofswrx&temprx, strength, 5ofc

so, jennie seems to have been a woman, who taehyung has always felt an attraction towards. he sees her as the charming queen of wands, someone with a strong presence and a very magnetic aura. with the two of wands here, it's clear that approaching her was something he had planned to do.

however, i got a bunch of reversed cards just flying out right away, so there is a lot of blocked and negative energy here. it seems like, once he was able to build something with jennie, he put a lot of responsibility on himself to take good care of her, and make sure she's comfortable. i also kept hearing "protective". he really wanted to hold on to what they had, and kinda stressed himself out on his own. i think the fear of losing his grip on her drove taehyung to this place of uncertainty on how to proceed.. like "what do i do so this amazing woman stays with me?" he saw her a precious existence in his life, that he didn't wanna lose.

he still seems to hold strong feelings for jennie, but has since been able to control himself more. the five of cups in the end tells me there still is lingering regret in him, and he often asks himself if he could've done anything differently, to prevent the end from happening. just like in the previous spread, there definitely seems to be a lack of closure on a personal level.

how does jennie feel towards taehyung? kingofc, 7ofw&magic, 3ofsw, 5ofw, pagofc

she views taehyung as a very emotionally mature and loving guy. someone who cherishes and values his loved ones tremendously, and has a sweet and understanding heart. jennie seems to especially admire his ability to deal with obstacles, in her eyes taehyung is someone who's very level headed and intelligent. he doesn't get swayed or driven to insecurity by the challenges he faces. she herself can be a lot more sensitive than people think, and often takes things to heart, so she felt very drawn to someone so different to her. being with him gave her a sense of stability.

the five of wands shows me, all the public talk and external circumstances messed with her feelings. she truly doesn't like her private life being so out there and having to hear everyone voicing their opinion on something that's meant to be only her business. it wasn't just the news that they dated, as far as i can remember people hacked into her phone (? correct me if i'm wrong) and literally leaked their private pictures. i think anyone would feel very uncomfortable in that situation.

she seems to have blamed herself a lot, for not thinking of the possibility of this happening. like "guess i did this to myself." she believes she was blinded by infatuation and it was immature of her to believe people wouldn't have found out. (she's so hard on herself, my god.. ? ☹)

what went wrong? world, 10ofsw

tbh, the cards are telling me "it just ended, stop asking."

jennie and taehyung are both idols whose energies are a bit more difficult for me personally, they're both very protective. i didn't ask any further.

i believe they just wanna keep the details of their relationship more private, and of course they have an obvious right to.

[folklore-barnes]

shows that were cancelled

(but were pretty good and should've gotten more seasons)

the society (2019)

synopsis:

a group of teenagers go on a school trip, but are forced to return to their town because of a storm; only to realize that everyone on the town has vanished. the series shows them trying to understand what happened and finding ways to survive on their own.

genre: mystery, teen drama

starring: kathryn newton, gideon adlon, sean berdy, natasha liu bordizzo, jacques colimon, olivia dejonge, alex fitzalan, kristine froseth

platform: netflix

thoughts:

i was so surprised when this show got cancelled. it didn't really have the biggest audience but a little before it got cancelled (if i'm not wrong), its popularity grew. and before it got cancelled, it was already renewed for a s2 but because of covid affecting production (idk how), they had to cancel, and of course i was very pissed bc it's a really good show. it was interesting because you legitimately had no idea why they disappear, you can only assume.

fate: the winx saga (2021-2022)

synopsis:

after causing a fire in her family home, bloom peters is invited to attend alfea college for fairies to work on her skills and learn how to control her magic.

genre: teen drama, supernatural, fantasy

starring: abbey cowen, hannah van der westhuysen, precious mustapha, eliot salt, elisha applebaum, danny griffin, sadie soverall

platform: netflix

thoughts:

i love this show so much, i am still very upset that they cancelled it. i understand that at first it got a lot of backlash because they replaced flora with terra and musa was white instead of asian. and people hated the fashion as well. i get all of that. but i also feel like the writers really learned to listen to people more as the show went on because s2 was such a big difference compared to the first one, and that's why the audience grew because the fashion was better, the plot was better, all around it was much better. so i was really looking forward to see how the writers would make the show better than it was, and it surprised me when it got cancelled bc it was pretty popular and it had a lot of potential. i miss the cast so much, and i really wish we could've seen more of them.

grease: rise of the pink ladies (2023)

synopsis:

it's four years before the events of grease and follows the lives of the founding members of the pink ladies. they are four outcasts who decide that they don't want to live up to the expectations of everyone else.

genre: musical, romantic drama

starring: marisa davila, cheyenne isabel wells, ari notartomaso, tricia fukuhara, shanel bailey

platform: paramount+ (they removed it, so you'd have to look for it on the web)

thoughts:

i fear paramount is not seeing the pearly gates for cancelling this show. it was absolute amazing, the chemistry between the main girls and the t birds. the cliffhanger, the music, the plot, the inclusion, it was all wonderful. what pisses me off the most about this cancellation is that they did it a few weeks after the last episode aired, like literally not even a month after. and it sucks because it's been shown time and time again that some shows need time to grow in order to reach more people. an example of this is on my block. barely anyone watched on my block s1, but by the time on my block s2 was released more people were watching, and the same thing happened with each season. same thing happened with fate: the winx saga. so i don't really understand why they didn't give it a chance. plus a lot of these actors are young and this was one of their first acting experiences on tv and they did absolutely amazing. i totally recommend it if you're into musicals.