#it's a linda AND jane character study

[haileydilmore]

1.156 words into the perfectqueens fic and they haven't even come close to kissing 👍

[mariocki]

Rolling Thunder (1977)

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I'm gonna kill a bunch of people.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Hiiii, OMFGG obsessed with ur tags again ily for noticing about the "no one would think it's autobiographical if the main character is a woman" akjskdkd I think I was going insane for thinking that but as a woman there's something about some paul's songs that makes me feel seen, like another day it's such a modern day woman -me- song and lady madonna I feel he gets my mom, it's fucking crazy like he has many songs centered in women like he shows understanding and compassion for us. also yeah the woman pov is a vehicle to be more vulnerable and open.

Sorry!!! Fun fact about me is that I kind of suck. But we should be friends on here because I love your takes too! I'm always like "yeah, she gets it!"

But yeah, so I do think he partially writes with central female characters as a disguise ((little did babygirl know we'd all be she/her ing him as the highest form of endearment on Tumblr but anyway)) but I really do think even in the 1960s Paul was capable of seeing women as humans ((which is partly why his treatment of Jane and co is even more inexcusable)) He wouldn't be capable of putting his own experiences and emotions and fears etc into female characters in song if he didn't.

But yeah, how many pre-teen to young teen boys love to ask random old ladies if they needed help around the house and genuinely enjoy hearing about their lives? What rockstar do you see writing a song about a poverty-stricken mother?

Speaking of, I'm fascinated by the song "Lady Madonna." It's interesting to me in the same way that John's "Girl" is. There's clearly a lot of love and respect for the woman in the song, but it's far from mushy, you know? It strikes me as somehow both worshipful and condescending as always surrounded by the mundanities of a working class life. And where it's often posited that that song is about his mother, I just have so many questions. -- "Listen to the music playing in your head." "Did you think that money was heaven sent?" -- And then there's the fact that John brought Lady Madonna into his huge list of Paul references in "Glass Onion" "standing on the Cast Iron Shore, Lady Madonna tryna make ends meat" .... But even if we're not analyzing it biographically, this is a complex, struggling woman, probably either a single mother or a married single mother if you know what I mean by that. She allows people like you and me -- because yeah I see my mom in her too! -- to feel seen, and her presence in the public consciousness reminds the world, where most stories still are about middle to upper class people, that actually most people are working class. We exist, and our struggles are not our own creations -- Lady Madonna works long and hard to care for her kids -- but that of a corrupt system. Such important work there, whether Paul was conscious of it or not.

Another important song, as you pointed out, is Another Day. I think it taps into Mary and Linda and Paul himself and it really gives such a grounding portrait. It puts the listener directly in the 70s working woman's head. The rhythm of "slipping into stockings, stepping into shoes", the hollow sigh and the non elaborate lament of "so sad, so sad, sometimes she feels so sad" and the bustling hurry of "it's just another day do do do do do do". You're forced, for those few minutes, to live in her body and experience her life. I think it takes great empathy to be able to do that, and it's this type of art that can, for the right listener, build empathy. There have been studies done which show an increased ability to empathize in fiction readers, and I'd be willing to bet that story songs do that too.

Anyway, those are my thoughts I guess. I hope it's okay that I took a while to respond to this. Thanks for sending it in!

[fencecollapsed]

☕️+ nightmare time episodes??

alright we're gonna do a lightning round for these, imagine me rolling up my sleeves

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man - a good silly time, nothing too special lore-wise but that doesn't mean it should be skipped, people who say it's skippable just hate fun I think /hj

Watcher World - the vibes are IMMACULATE and this story is the prime example to me of what Nightmare Time stories should be at their best - further explorations of pre-established characters and relationship dynamics

Forever & Always - I wish the clone reveal was foreshadowed better and that they hadn't cut certain details in the YouTube release, but I love droid23 so much that those minor grievances don't matter that much to me

Time Bastard - I think it's deeply funny that Ted got himself put in the torment nexus and murdered by his best friend, get wrecked Spankoffski

Jane's A Car - TOP tier Nightmare Time story, painfully underrated, a great character study of Tom. oh my dearly beloved Jane's A Car they could never make me hate you

The Witch in the Web - good introduction for Holloway and Duke, and does a good job expanding the world of Hatchetfield in a way that feels pretty natural. Hannah Foster I would burn down all of civilization to see you happy

Honey Queen - the BEST Nightmare Time story, does a phenomenal job contextualizing and exploring Linda as a character, and has genuinely my second favorite ending of the whole series it's so delightfully and horrifyingly dreadful

Perky's Buds - the fact that Emma's only solo story isn't character focused bothers me personally and I. hate the nighthawks I think they are annoying, but I've come to accept that my gripes are largely preference based and this kind of story in general just isn't my thing. I don't like it very much but it's whatever I respect it for what it is

Abstinence Camp - good and fun, it was a great intro for the main NPMD trio, almost too good to the point that I think Steph and Pete were better utilized here. Grace is at top form as always though

Daddy - I've liked this story more each time I've watched it, like I forget how funny it is every time. I really like what it does with Frank, exploring him as a more well-rounded guy than the cartoonish capitalist archetype he was in BF, it's cool it's neat

Killer Track - I love what this story does for Miss Holloway, her role in this story sold me on her as a character more than her first appearance did, it expanded her just the right amount to make her more engaging and sympathetic

Yellow Jacket - everything about the Foster sisters and Ethan makes me want to eat a brick I am sad about Hannah and Lex forever and this story is very good, I need the Orbweaver story focused on Lex right now immediately

and just in the interest of completionism I've included one for Hey Melissa under the cut for anyone who wants to count that one

Hey Melissa - great concept, dogshit execution. I'm a little obsessed with this story because I don't like it but I think it could've been really good if they'd just done another draft or two. as is I think it relies too heavily on the shock value to succeed at being an actually good story, but y'know, it was cut for a reason, I've mostly made my peace with it. mostly.

[hatchetfield-omegaverse]

Hatchetfield Omegaverse Masterlist!

Note: This will be updated as new posts are made, but if you notice something missing, please tell me.

Rules:

Rules

World Building:

General Lore and World Building

The Differences Between Types of Alphas

An Incomplete List of Omegas

General Lore Pt.2

Alpha Typing and Betas

Asexuality and Changing Second Genders

Errors in Alpha Typing

NSFW Omega Lore

What Is Presenting?

How Do Alphas Get Along In Groups?

Howard Goodman's Family Tree

How Heat Toys Work

What Are Alpha-Alpha Relationships Like?

The Process For Choosing Second Gender

Where do Hannah and Lex Live?

Who Tops, Who Bottoms?

Fanfiction:

Putting the 'D' in Study AO3

Summary: Peter Spankoffski was a punctual person, right down to his biology. He never expected his heat to come 2 days early, let alone for it to come while he was studying with his girlfriend in the school library.

Not A Perfect Guardian AO3

When Ted Spankoffski adopted his baby brother, he vowed to be the best guardian he could be. And now that Pete has his first girlfriend, he's determined to live up to that promise. That's just what good brothers do, right? Or Ted Spankoffski's Guide On What (Not) To Do When Your Brother Brings Home His First Girlfriend

Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me! AO3

Peter Spankoffski is pregnant, very horny, and tired of his girlfriend teasing him.

Secrets and Shower Sex AO3

Kyle is ready to relax after a long day of football practice. But Max Jägerman going into heat puts a wrench in those plans.

Headcanons:

If you'd like to request a headcanon, please send me the characters you want, and you'd like them to be SFW, NSFW, or a mix. Hypothetical means it goes against a previously established hc of mine.

Pete Spankoffski Headcanons

Richie Lipschitz Headcanons

Ted Spankoffski Headcanons Pt.1

Ted Spankoffski Headcanons Pt.2 Electric Boogaloo (Omega Ted Edition)-Hypothetical

Ted Spankoffski Headcanons Pt.3 (General Headcanons)

Paul Matthews and Wiley Headcanons

Stephanie Lauter Headcanons

Lautski Headcanons

Howard Goodman Headcanons

Lex Foster Headcanons

John MacNamara Headcanons

Ruth Fleming Headcanons

Richie Lipschitz Headcanons (Omega Edition) -Hypothetical

NSFW Wilbur Cross & Macnacross Headcanons

NSFW Lautski Headcanons

Mark and Karen Chasity Headcanons

NSFW Ted Spankoffski Headcanons

The Lords in Black Headcanons

Grace Chasity Headcanons

Chai Coffee Headcanons

Bill Woodward Headcanons

Tinky x Ted Headcanons

Officer Bailey Headcanons

Barry Swift Headcanons

Max Jagerman Headcanons

Duke Keane & Miss Holloway Headcanons

Ted x Paul x Emma Headcanons

Ted x Tinky Headcanons Pt.2

Paul Matthew Headcanons (Omega Edition)

Mark and Karen Chasity Headcanons Pt.2

Ted Spankoffski and Charlotte Sweetly Headcanons

Tom Houston Headcanons

Sam Sweetly and Zoe Chambers Headcanons

Lexthan Headcanons

Paulkins Headcanons

Michie Headcanons

Halogear Headcanons

Linda x Gerald Headcanons

NSFW Lautski Headcanons (Pregnancy Kink Edition)

NSFW Wilbur Cross Headcanons Pt.2

Alpha!Grace x Omega!Max Headcanons

NSFW Omega Ted Spankoffski Pregnancy Kink Headcanons

Wilbur Cross Headcanons Pt.2

NSFW Lautski Pregnancy Kink Headcanons Pt.2

Peter Spankoffski Headcanons Pt.2

NSFW Ted Spankoffski Headcanons Pt.2

NSFW Macnacross Breeding Kink Headcanons

Ethan Green Headcanons

Tom Houston and Jane Perkins Headcanons

Peter Spankoffski and Ted Spankoffski Headcanons

Lexthan Headcanons Pt.2

Steph Eating Pete Out Headcanons (NSFW)

NSFW Michie Headcanons

Macnacross Cross Dressing Headcanons (NSFW)

Macnacross Breeding Kink Headcanons (NSFW)

Alpha Karen Chasity and Omega Mark Chasity Headcanons

Omega Officer Bailey Headcanons

NSFW Omega Officer Bailey Headcanons

Ted x Tinky Breeding Kink Headcanons (NSFW)

NSFW Lexthan Headcanons

NSFW Chai Coffee Headcanons

NSFW Paulkins Headcanons

Richie x Grace Headcanons

Lautski Headcanons Pt.2

NSFW Lautski Headcanons Pt.4

Spies Are Forever Headcanons:

(These are adjacent to the main headcanons and take place in the same universe)

Curt Mega and Owen Carvour Headcanons

Tatiana Slozhno Headcanons

NSFW Curtwen Headcanons

Curtwen Headcanons Pt.3

NSFW Curtwen Headcanons Pt.2

Barb Lavernor Headcanons

Omega Curt Headcanons

Curtwen Headcanons Pt.4

Curtwen Headcanons Pt.5

Owen Carvour Cross Dressing Headcanons (NSFW)

[astrologerintexas]

The Mystical World of Psychic Readings in Texas: Unveiling the Unknown

psychic readings TEXAS tx

In the heart of Texas, a state renowned for its rich history, diverse culture, and sprawling landscapes, there lies a mystical world that many seek to explore—the world of psychic readings. Psychic readings in Texas are not just about predicting the future; they encompass a wide range of services, including tarot card readings, palmistry, astrology, mediumship, and more. This article delves into the fascinating realm of psychic readings in Texas, highlighting the best practitioners, their unique methods, and the transformative experiences of those who seek their guidance.

The Rich Tradition of Psychic Readings

Psychic readings have a long and varied history, with roots tracing back to ancient civilizations. In Texas, this tradition has been embraced and adapted, blending with the state’s unique cultural tapestry. The practice of psychic readings here is as diverse as the state itself, offering a myriad of approaches and philosophies.

Tarot Card Readings

Tarot card readings are one of the most popular forms of psychic readings in Texas. This ancient divination method uses a deck of 78 cards, each with its own symbolism and meaning. Readers interpret the cards drawn by the seeker to provide insights into their past, present, and future.

One renowned tarot reader in Texas is Jane Doe from Austin. With over 20 years of experience, Jane combines traditional tarot reading with intuitive guidance to help her clients navigate life’s challenges. Her unique approach has earned her a loyal following, with clients praising her accuracy and compassionate demeanor.

Palmistry

Palmistry, or chiromancy, is another ancient art practiced by psychics in Texas. This method involves reading the lines, shapes, and mounts of the hands to gain insights into a person’s character and destiny.

John Smith in Houston is a well-known palmist who has been practicing for over 15 years. John’s readings are renowned for their depth and precision, often uncovering hidden talents and potential paths that his clients had not considered.

Astrology

Astrology, the study of celestial bodies and their influence on human affairs, is a cornerstone of many psychic practices in Texas. Astrologers create detailed birth charts based on the date, time, and place of birth to provide personalized insights.

Mary Johnson from Dallas is a celebrated astrologer who combines Western astrology with psychological insights. Her readings are tailored to help individuals understand their core personality traits and how to leverage their strengths to achieve their goals.

The Role of Mediums in Texas

Mediumship, the practice of communicating with spirits of the deceased, is a profound aspect of psychic readings in Texas. Mediums serve as a bridge between the physical and spiritual worlds, providing comfort and closure to those seeking to connect with lost loved ones.

Anna Williams in San Antonio is a gifted medium who has helped countless individuals find peace and understanding through her readings. Anna’s compassionate approach and her ability to provide specific, validating messages from the other side have made her a trusted figure in the community.

Unique Psychic Practices in Texas

Beyond the traditional methods, Texas is home to a variety of unique psychic practices that reflect the state’s diverse cultural influences.

Energy Healing and Chakra Balancing

Energy healing and chakra balancing are holistic practices that focus on aligning and clearing the body’s energy centers to promote physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Linda Martinez in El Paso is a renowned energy healer who combines Reiki, crystal healing, and chakra balancing in her sessions. Clients often report feeling rejuvenated and more centered after their sessions with Linda.

Shamanic Practices

Shamanic practices, rooted in indigenous traditions, involve journeying into altered states of consciousness to gain insights and healing.

Robert Garcia in Corpus Christi is a modern-day shaman who integrates ancient wisdom with contemporary techniques. His ceremonies and rituals are aimed at helping individuals reconnect with their inner selves and the natural world.

Personal Transformations Through Psychic Readings

The impact of psychic readings on individuals can be profound and life-changing. Many people seek psychic readings during times of uncertainty or transition, hoping to gain clarity and guidance.

Case Study 1: Sarah’s Journey

Sarah, a young professional from Dallas, sought a psychic reading during a difficult period in her life. Struggling with a career decision and a recent breakup, she turned to Mary Johnson, the astrologer, for guidance. Through her birth chart reading, Sarah gained a deeper understanding of her strengths and potential career paths that aligned with her true self. Additionally, the insights into her astrological transits helped her navigate her emotional turmoil and move forward with confidence. Sarah credits the reading with providing the clarity and direction she needed to make positive changes in her life.

Case Study 2: David’s Healing

David, a retiree from Houston, had been grappling with grief after the loss of his wife. Feeling lost and in need of closure, he visited Anna Williams, the medium. During the session, Anna was able to relay specific messages from David’s wife that provided him with comfort and reassurance. The experience was transformative for David, helping him find peace and a renewed sense of purpose.

Finding the Right Psychic Reader in Texas

With so many options available, finding the right psychic reader can be a daunting task. Here are some tips to help you choose the best psychic for your needs:

Research and Reviews: Look for practitioners with positive reviews and testimonials. Personal recommendations can also be valuable.

Credentials and Experience: Consider the practitioner’s experience and any relevant certifications. Established psychics with years of practice often bring a wealth of knowledge and expertise.

Personal Connection: It’s important to feel a connection with your psychic reader. Many practitioners offer introductory sessions or consultations to help you gauge their approach and compatibility.

Ethical Practices: Ensure that the psychic adheres to ethical guidelines, such as respecting client confidentiality and avoiding guarantees of specific outcomes.

Conclusion

The world of psychic readings in Texas is as vast and varied as the state itself. From tarot card readings and palmistry to astrology and mediumship, there is a wealth of practices that cater to diverse needs and preferences. Whether you seek guidance, healing, or a deeper understanding of yourself, the talented psychics of Texas offer transformative experiences that can illuminate your path.

As you embark on your journey into the mystical world of psychic readings, remember to approach it with an open mind and heart. The insights and wisdom you gain can empower you to make informed decisions, embrace your true self, and navigate life’s challenges with confidence.

[maccajohnny]

mclennon fanfic recs based on what i've been reading lately :)

very much feeling emotionally wounded paul energy at the moment. blame peter jackson for making me watch 23 seconds straight of him crying over john not showing up.

As The Days Stand Up On End by roundthatcorner - 9k. i'm a sucker for george's pov on mclennon, but this fic handles it differently from ways i've read before. the scene during quarry-era and then also when they're all high are my favorite scenes :)

what is living is burning by orphanbeat - 99k wip. i normally never read unfinished fics as a rule but this is just INSANELY good. in a world where brian never died, paul is outed in 1968. john & him try to cope. also john goes to therapy?? it's a fascinating plot and brian is handled Phenomenally. also MAL is beautiful here. and JANE. also GEORGE. i don't know if the author's gonna finish it but there's like 10 chapters so it's worth it, read this and freak out over it with me LMAO

that which resembles the grave but isn't! by clarinetta - 12k. major tw for an attempt. i keep coming back to this fic over and over and over again. paul doesn't end up with linda so there's no one to pull him out of his darkness when john, george, and ringo team up against him. it's angsty as all hell but it's wonderful hurt/comfort and ends up happy :)

Lennon, Rolling Stone by skeletondance - 5k. okay this made me feral. it's basically written as an excerpt of an interview john gives (prob in the late 70s) where he essentially gives a tell-all about the sexual nature of his relationship with paul. it is SO well-written and in character that i thought it was real for a second. obsessed with the concept of linda mccartney reading this on tour and just walking into the ocean LMAOOO

No More Situations by skeletondance (obsessed with u) - 15k. hamburg fic! one of john's artsy friends has a crush on paul. chaos and dubious consent ensues. it's really good but i felt the need to hold paul after reading it LMAO not really angsty but john kinda bullies paul for a second there </3

Whatever Gets You Through the Night by sleeprettydarling - 13k. AHHHHHH this is INSANE. more hamburg. basically john & paul keep having threesomes with this prostitute as a way of kinda sorta maybe acting on those repressed Gay Thoughts. it's so good, really in character. MAJOR john pining which i'm always game for. obsessed with it.

Tessellate by cloudy_blue - 5k. oh my GOD this fic. cynthia lennon studies! her pov on john & paul. the star of the fic is cyn & paul lamenting john leaving them both. it's just SO good. i'm so happy this fandom is moving away from wife-bashing and embracing them as full-fledged characters.

(where is the lesbian linda fic, i need to write that i guess)

does it worry you to be alone? by clarinetta (obsessed with u) - 12k. FLUFF. the four lads taking care of each other in different occasions <3 but it's so in character and well done. im a sucker for any of the "bigger than jesus" conflict. brian is great here too. made me feel very warm and fuzzy. plus i love men crying LMAOOO

okay that's it for now, send me a message if anyone ever wants like a specific themed rec list. i'm prob gonna put a 70s mclennon list together cause i live for the DIVORCE DRAMA and also prob a george specific mclennon rec list okay goodbye love u all scream with me about these

[janeaustentextposts]

Who is Linda berdoll and what did she do?

She is the author of several written ‘erotic’ sequels to the BBC 1995 Adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.

I specify the adaptation because she’s said as much and from reading it’s wildly obvious she never did a single deep read-through of the actual novel.

She would have people believe that her haters are just fusspots who don’t like that she sexed up Jane Austen.

I’m mad because the plots, prose, and characterization are absolute shit and the sex? Is boring! SO BORING. It’s Tab A into Slot B and flop around for fifteen seconds until the gates of Heaven yawn because Darcy just has a magic monster cock and Elizabeth has a magic teeny vag. (But this never causes actual physical problems that they have to work to accommodate, no, never actual issues or human flaws of any kind, ever.) Darcy’s pride is back full-force, it’s as if he never changed to be worthy of Elizabeth’s esteem, and she’s just so bonkers in love with him her brain has turned to goo and she defends everything he does because she’s the only one who understaaaands and appreciates him. The drama in their lives is solely due to outside forces at work and never their own misjudging choices or blind errors. Everyone else in their universe is lesser and wrong--pitied by the Darcys, at best, and vilified by them, at worst. The people they dislike always happen to be fat and ugly and stupid but especially fat. (But they must be written this way because the vapid bonkpuppet versions of Darcy and Elizabeth we are presented with do not have the capacity to actually trounce anybody intellectually. We’re just told they do, Elizabeth dunks on people’s physical appearances like it’s middle school gym class, and then everybody who adores her claps. And EVERYBODY adores her.)

It’s the worst kind of telling instead of showing, as writing goes.

I don’t mind a melodramatic soap opera. I don’t mind sexy scenes.

I *do* mind lazy and hollow writing, particularly when you’re supposedly drawing off what are supposed to be some of the most intricate character-studies in classic Western literature.

Also Berdoll felt the need to involve actual historical figures in the narrative and gets basic concrete details about their actual lives completely backwards.

It was the nineties and people were starved for sexy period drama stuff, like the damp white shirt was a revelation for a reason; but times have moved on and JAFF could always have been so much better than this wildly infuriating tripe even just on the basis of prose and plotting and characters, alone. If only the sex scenes had been boring, I probably wouldn’t be as upset by these books as I am. Sex scenes are hard to write, especially for established couples that lack the will-they-won’t-they tension before they reach their HEA. But the CHARACTERS were done so very very dirty by Linda Berdoll, even the Darcy and Elizabeth she loved so much she foisted them onto a pedestal and had them lobotomized.

[frumfrumfroo]

What are your favorite movies and TV shows outside of SW? I’m looking for new things to watch since SW was so disappointing

My tastes are pretty eclectic, so I will stick to just things that are either similar to sw or are in the reylo-esque romance wheelhouse and have happy endings:

Chuck. It is a goofy, light-hearted action-adventure show with extremely endearing characters and a very prominent central romance (seriously, heavy romance and there is a lot of payoff for it, you will be FED- it's kind of slow burn but also shockingly NOT slow burn, they are deep into it pretty much immediately). The main couple is the classic Stoic Badass gradually softened by an innocent they have to protect who is a liability in battle but full of the Power of Heart. Chuck is The Heart btw. He is of that vanishingly rare male Beauty (of B&tB) type. He's incredibly generous and open, Sarah is prickly and closed-off. It is Quality. Very much a gender-swap of your typical cliche anime couple lol. I would recommend stopping at the mid-season finale in season 4, because it's downhill from there. The beginning of season 3 is very rough, but it's definitely worth it to stay for the back half, imo. There are several great endings to choose from before things go to shit, so we don't need to talk about the finale. Probably the most tonally similar to SW thing possible without being high/space fantasy. More humour, more silly, but definitely has a spiritual kinship. Has the best THE BEST 'secret revealed' scenes I have ever seen in anything. If you're into that and were hoping for that in ep IX, you need to watch Chuck.

The Shop Around the Corner. 1940 romance/drama film. You've Got Mail is a remake of it. Jimmy Stewart being profoundly adorable, Frank Morgan (aka the Wizard of Oz), various amusing side characters, and an absolutely deathless double blind 'secretly in love with the workplace nemesis' plot that can and probably has been a great reylo AU.

Mirromask. Fantasy/coming-of-age film. Touted as a 'spiritual successor' to Labyrinth by the filmmakers (one of whom is Neil Gaiman) and let me tell you, that is extremely apt. Beautiful, magical, laden with symbolism and Mask Discourse, and has a great ship. I quote it regularly.

Speaking of which, I'm sure you've seen Labyrinth? If you haven't seen Labyrinth, drop everything and watch Labyrinth.

Legend (the Ridley Scott director's cut, not the theatrical cut). Sumptuous fairy tale, runs on proper fairy tale logic, stunning to look at and overall captivating. Tim Curry. Tim Curry as a lonely tragic lord of darkness who tries to seduce the heroine and has drippingly overwrought monologues.

Howl's Moving Castle. Fairy tale adventure/romance film. Beautifully animated, has the ending you want.

The Silence of the Lambs. Thriller/drama film. Actual masterpiece. Use it as a gateway drug to read the books and rejoice that Clannibal is canon and it is spectacular. Just SotL and Hannibal, you don't need to read the other two. Stan Clarice Starling and revel in that ending. Most triumphant 'villain'/heroine ship of all time (he is not technically a villain but for shorthand's sake).

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen. Terry Gilliam 1988 fantasy/adventure film. THE TRIUMPH OF IDEALISM OVER CYNICS I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW HEALING IT WAS TO WATCH AFTER THE TROS BULLSHIT HIT. Jonathan Pryce's spiritual villain is basically Chris Terrio and it is cathartic to see imagination and sentiment conquer him.

Sabrina. 1995 romance film. Modern fairy tale with Harrison Ford. Rejecting what you thought you wanted all your life for the thing you actually need, growing up but still believing in magic, beautiful character development across all the leads. Could be (and is irrc) a fantastic reylo AU.

The Scarlet Pimpernel. 1934 adventure film. High romance, secret identities, play-acting, people who aren't at all what they appear to be, falling in love with your own spouse, Big Heroism, guile and wit and audacity. It makes me do little kicks like a happy baby. This is one of the 3-5 films constantly tied for my favourite film of all time. There is a good quality rip free on youtube. Watch it and fall in love with Leslie Howard (this is possibly my favourite acting performance of all time).

Oh, related note. Pygmalion 1938 or My Fair Lady. (The musical is based on this film and borrows from it heavily, including its much more romantic ending compared to the original play.)

The Mummy. 1999 action/adventure/romance film. Very tonally similar to sw. A fucking great time, A+ characters.

EVER AFTER. 1998 romance film. The flawless and perfect and best ever Cinderella adaptation. This is the most satisfying film in history, maybe, the ending is so good it is amazing it exists. Also, it has Richard O'Brien being slimy. Huge selling point. Grapples with identity and stewardship, is brilliant.

Fruits Basket. drama/romance anime. I haven't watched the new version yet, but it's following the manga so I know the story. The original anime didn't do the whole plot (because they caught up with the source material) but it's wonderful and I still recommend it. The central ship is (spoiler.........) a B&tB type where we eventually discover the main love interest both feels like a figurative monster and turns into a literal monster. He has an incredible speech about his relationship with people's fear, it makes me weep. I called the endgame from the first episode and always thought it was obvious, but there is a red herring love triangle dynamic. It's really not annoying, though, because it is a red herring. (I hate love triangles)

I am Dragon. Russian monster romance film. Beautiful, simple fable with a really great heroine.

Jane Eyre. 1943 Gothic Romance film. It's Jane Eyre, byronic hero x sensible heroine love story with much atmosphere and Gothic drama. I stan this version because I am an Orson Welles fangirl and I'm also not convinced it can be improved upon. Elizabeth Taylor's film debut btw.

Hellboy. 2004 action/adventure/romance film. Defying destiny, reconciling identity, monster romance. The complete package and a great time. Tonally similar to SW and probably thematically closest to it out of this whole list. Don't watch the sequel.

Beauty and the Beast 1987 tv series. Exactly what it says on the tin. Deals with the classic B&tB themes, but in a different way. He's not cursed and will never transform into an ordinary man. The first season is very episodic and 'case of the week', but the second season gets more into character drama. It's dated, but if you give it a chance you can get past some of the cheese factor and it's really a unique experience. Its concerns are SO atypical that it feels like something fandom would make rather than a mainstream network show. It was so massively, insanely popular with women at the time that a record of Vincent (the beast) reading poetry topped the album charts. Also Ron Perlman and Linda Hamilton. Stop at season two. Point of interest: George RR Martin wrote for this show.

Stargate (the movie not the series) sci-fi fantasy about a nerdy guy who accidentally a hero.

Possession. 2009... mystery/supernatural/romance. Okay. This is a whole thing. Lee Pace and Sarah Michelle Gellar. It's based on a Korean film I've never been able to find for some reason, but being Hollywood they ruined the romanticism and nuance of the original in the theatrical cut to make a shitty punative ending. However. If you buy it on dvd and go to the alternate ending (which follows the original story) with around 20 minutes left (scene after Lee Pace's character wakes from a bad dream-go to deleted scenes and select the alternate ending), you will get a very, very interesting character study/thriller/redemption about sincerity within deception, compassion, and a major question about second chances with a positive answer. It's kind of dark and kind of astonishingly idealistic at the same time. The heroine makes a very powerful choice, twice over. It's fascinating. If you're into the conflicted and uncertain period in reylo, the part where he is most ambiguous, and you wanted more of that and much darker shades to it, you might be really into this. Also, it should be noted, there is a MASSIVE height difference and they show it off. The film is flawed (and the seams show on the Hollywood rewrite) but idk, it's fascinating. Shocking to me that they even got to shoot the original ending. It is pretty balls to the wall with its themes on forgiveness.

I would recommend getting into kdramas because there is a wealth of female-gaze tropey amazing content, but always check the ending before getting invested. My all-time fave is the 1st Shop of Coffee Prince, but it's not sw related at all lmao. It has a happy ending with all the elements you'd want, but it's not satisfying in execution, so that's it's major flaw and I find that pretty common with kdramas. One that is maybe more relevant is My Love from Another Star, which has a hero who is a little bit like Ben in personality. The heroine isn't my favourite, though. It does have a decent ending.

Oh yeah- brain fart. Kurosawa films and classic westerns were both very influential on SW. Or you can combine both and watch The Magnificent Seven.

[littlequeenies]

BEBE BUELL: MUSING ON MUSES AND OTHER FANS

📷BEBE BUELLJUNE 17, 2020

Before embarking on a musical career of her own, Bebe Buell was a much in-demand model but was most often seen as the second fiddle to the famous rock musicians she was dating. She, however, saw herself as the Muse to these musicians, inspiring and sharing ideas with them. Inevitably, the term “groupie” would arise. As she says, “I’m not opposed to ‘groupies,’ per se. I just don’t like being called a name or being tagged like a sheep to slaughter’. Bebe elaborates on this idea for PKM.

I remember the first time I saw a photograph of Oscar Wilde. I was five and it was Easter. We were at the Virginia Beach home of my mother’s friends, Poppy and Tilly, who were hosting a Sunday get together. We were dressed in our pastels and frills and the candy and food was flowing. It was an adult affair and, being the only child there, I wandered off to explore while the grown-ups enjoyed their martinis and snacks. I found myself in a living room study area and on the table was a big book filled with photos of poets, painters, sculptors and scholars. I was immediately drawn to an image of Oscar draped on a chair like a velvet throw! It stuck with me and when I got older I looked him up in the school library. At the age of twelve I read The Picture Of Dorian Gray, but my main interest was in Oscar Wilde, the man and his story. I felt an instant connection, just as I have with all the great inspirations in my life. In 1978, when I was living between NYC, Maine and LA, before finishing the year in London, I never missed one episode of Masterpiece Theatre and their 13 episodes of Lillie about the life of Lillie Langtry, played brilliantly by Francesca Annis. To my delight, it explored in great depth the relationship/friendship between Oscar and Lillie, and I became obsessed with knowing everything and anything I could about their dynamic. I was intrigued, too, by the descriptions of Mrs. Langtry in the press at that time in England and the U.S. She was often called a “Professional Beauty” or “The Jersey Lily” because she was born on Jersey, the largest of the Channel Islands off the coast of Normandy. She was also one of the most featured women in advertising; her face was everywhere. She was the image for Pears Soap and the most respected painters of the day stood in line just to have a sitting with her. In 1877, she met Edward, Prince of Wales, later King Edward VII, and became his first publicly acknowledged mistress.

One of my favorite quotes was attributed to her from her conversations with Wilde: “They saw me, those reckless seekers of beauty, and in a night I was famous.” This reminded me of the back room at Max’s Kansas City, the temple of cool when I arrived in New York during the era of everything! It was this platonic duo that introduced me to the role of the “Muse”—that is the Artist and the Muse. Throughout history and especially in the arts, there seems to always be a driving force that brings the flora. In the series Lillie, they emphasized how Oscar would repeat Lillie’s quips and observations in his writing. Their banter with one another fascinated me and I often envisioned myself as a “Patron of The Arts”, in a sense, as I’ve always promoted and sang the praises of those whose work I liked. I felt an affinity with that spirit—the gift of inspiring and sharing special ideas with an artist I admired. It wasn’t just music. I adored musing with photographers, writers, film directors and designers, too. Creative energies have always fed my soul. The first time I referenced the term “muse” was in a 1981 interview I did with the Emmy-winning writer Stephen Demorest for the edgy publication Oui. Its sister magazine in France was called Lui. Playboy had taken over ownership of Oui so it was a glossy, classy, European-style men’s delight, targeting a younger demographic. When Stephen approached me about the piece, he showed me a couple other interviews with “It Girls” that had been published.

One was with Patti D’Arbanville, the inspiration for some of Cat Stevens’ biggest hits. He even used her last name in one of the songs, “Lady D’Arbanville”. I knew Patti from the early 70s and, in fact, it was she who introduced me to Jimmy Page in 1973 on a night out dancing with her in NYC. It was a quick meeting, as I was eager to get home to my boyfriend at the time, Todd Rundgren. A year later, I would run into Mr. Page again and the rest is the stuff of rock tales.

I adored Patti so knowing that both she and Jerry Hall had done this particular interview sealed the deal. Like Patti Boyd, Jane Asher, Linda Eastman, Maureen Van Zandt, Sara Dylan, to name a few, the musical muse is the most often of the muses referenced. I recall how so many people wanted to know my viewpoints and opinions about the word “muse” and why I preferred it to the term “groupie”.

Even in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous, his beloved character Penny Lane’s first words on screen are, “We are not groupies. We inspire the music- we are bandaids!”. The film was Cameron’s love letter to women and how even at that time a stigma was attached to calling a woman a groupie; it was not necessarily a compliment. It was almost like a dismissive jab, on par with “she’s such a slut” or “whore”. Another scene in Almost Famous has all of the members of the fictitious band Stillwater squeezed onto a small plane that, they thought, was about to crash. Secrets were spilled and fingers were pointed. In one of the most moving moments, the William character defends Penny when she is described as “that groupie” by one of the band members. William nails it when he points out who and “what” she really is- a bright light and cherished fan. Someone who loved them all and for all the right reasons.

I feel that women have been unfairly branded and labeled without cause. I’ve often said that I’m not opposed to “groupies,” per se. I just don’t like being called a name or being tagged like a sheep to slaughter. Summing me up for the life I’ve lived, seen through someone else’s eyes or, worse, exaggerating the truth. I didn’t want those I’ve truly loved or the relationships I’ve had to be considered less sincere because of the visibility of my partner.

Certainly loving music or dating musicians is not derogatory. Isn’t it logical, then, that birds of a feather flock together? Like-minded tribes mate or unite because of chemistry? Rock boys and models have been drawn to each other since forever! In the Netflix series Hollywood, you find that sex and sexual favors were the core of the industry. Several of the movie stars everyone loved on screen had started out as rent boys or nude models to make ends meet. Who decides why someone can give a blow job to the “right” person and get a starring role in a movie and another blow job by an aspiring talent gets tossed into the trash can of regret.

Why, after having four children with Mick Jagger, a successful modeling career and now being Mrs. Rupert Murdoch, would anyone refer to Jerry Hall as a groupie? Or gold digger, another favorite term used to describe women who marry well. Or Marianne Faithfull, Anita Pallenberg or Winona Ryder, for heaven’s sake? These are the questions I’ve always had and one of the main reason why I have rejected the term groupie in the press. It’s not a personal attack on those who identify with the moniker. It’s my own rebellion against being labeled and frowned on for the relationships I’ve had.

I’ve taken this stand for a long time, even though it’s also caused some judgement and negativity towards me from other women. It’s almost as if they think I see myself as better than them. Or that I’m not being honest when I don’t just call myself a full-on groupie, and own it. My closest friends tell me it’s just jealousy but that doesn’t make it any less hurtful to have tales and lies circulated about you by people you barely know or those who don’t know me at all. Or to have relationships that lasted for years being reduced to a laundry list of “conquests.”

This is nothing new, of course. Catherine The Great‘s enemies within the Emperor’s Court turned on her and started rumors that she was a sex fiend who had intercourse with horses. That stuck with her throughout her life and even in the museums of Russia, the tale has echoed although it’s completely untrue. Cleopatra and Anne Boleyn were also targeted. Ruining reputations was the way people got their revenge in days of yore. Or in some cases, the reason why some lost their heads to the guillotine. Why is it that women who have power or beauty have been subjected to crazy accusations of sexual voracity or deviance? Eve takes the blame for the banishment from Eden and although she was supposedly created from Adam’s rib, she is seen as a temptress and Adam as her victim.

I believe every woman should identify by how she feels comfortable and for the work she does. I personally prefer to be known for what I do, my accomplishments, my career. However, dating a rock star or an actor should not merit a nasty quip or name calling fest. It becomes unbalanced when just because someone gets famous as, say, a model or an actress and then dates a rock star, that she should get called anything other than what she does to earn a living. I’m not sure “groupie” falls under the umbrella of job occupation. I’d file it under pastime, hobby, passion, or fetish.

The origins of the groupie started with nothing more than a desire to be close to the band—the guys who made the music. Or in some cases, the women. The term came into use in the mid-1960s as slang for women who liked to hang out with musicians. It’s fair to say that not all “groupies” are the same. There are many tiers and pecking orders when narrowing it down. Certainly not every girl who dreams of being with a rock star will waltz backstage and demand sex or give oral gratification. That’s the image I despise and wish would not tarnish the entire viewpoint to the outside world. Some of the girls on the scene want to take the word “groupie” back, to personify what it meant in the ‘60s and early ‘70s. It became something entirely different when the ‘80s rolled around. Bands born out of the LA scene liked a different kind of arm candy than the Rolling Stones or the Beatles. They preferred exotic dancers and porn stars, the girls du jour of the time. Just as music changes with each era, so do the kinds of women who pursue the bands. But, more importantly, what kind of women the bands seek out. One man’s status is another man’s yen.

And then there are those who look at being a groupie as a form of prostitution. I’ve never understood that one because most girls who live that lifestyle don’t charge money to be with their favorite rock god or even their crew. It’s a thrill to be with the band, but it seems the glamor that was once attached to that goal has changed. For me, it was a thrill to fight to say “I’m IN the band”… or even “I AM the band!”

When I was living with Todd, he produced one of the first all-female bands, Fanny. They were so great! June Millington could shred! I felt bewildered when I would hear snide remarks wondering if Todd was sleeping with one of them. I thought to myself that would have never been said or thought if they weren’t women.

The bottom line is preference. We all have a choice. And we all can be whatever we want. We can wear many hats. I see myself as a mother, wife, musician, singer, songwriter, writer, mentor, animal lover… many different things. What I do in my spare time is how I make my soul happy. Who I date is based on connections, fate and karma. We end up with who we’re meant to be with and the experiences we have are all meant to be. I’ve been with my husband Jim for twenty years now. Our 18th wedding anniversary is coming in August 2020. So, I’m writing this piece from the perspective of a wife, mother, working musician, writer and mentor. Not just a girl who had lots of suitors in her youth. Every single little thing is part of the journey.

The first time I saw a photo in Rolling Stone of what they called a “groupie”, I was 15 years old and in the 10th grade. It was 1969, and neither the image nor the word was at all something ugly to me. It just seemed exciting and cool. The girls were so outrageously dressed, and it reflected an almost innocent charm. I didn’t aspire to be a groupie but they seemed like they were the ones who made the guys in the band cool. They helped dress them, created make-up looks and spread the word all over town about how good they were. It didn’t seem to be so much about sex and backstage antics. Maybe I was too young to fully understand everything, especially from the pages of a magazine.

On my first trip to LA with Todd in 1973, when I finally did meet some real girls who liked to be called groupies, it still didn’t seem derogatory. I started to see how it was all just tossed together in some people’s minds. It’s a complex dance between an artist and his muse. None of it is something so vulgar or tainted as being only about sexual conquest. Maybe to some, it’s about that. But for me it was a series of fated encounters that have lasted throughout my life.

Some people see a groupie as a girl who will do anything, including have sex with a roadie, to get to the band. There is that element to the rock n’ roll lifestyle. But it’s not the entire package. Others see groupies as a vibe, the girls who are there when the band makes it, the girls that helped them make it, the on-the-road bestie, or the girls who get the bands drugs and food. Or even give them the clothes off their backs if the band is short a cool stage look. I often joke that that’s how wearing your lingerie out became a signature rock girl look- the band had taken her clothes to wear onstage!

I recall reading where Pamela Des Barres said she was still a virgin when she first discovered her teenage heart being drawn to rock boys. It felt sexual to her and it was also just youthful and sweet. Not a salacious sexual quest. More a desire to be near the music and the men who made it. That’s perhaps what one would define as a “classic groupie”. Or, in some circles, “fan” is the preferred analogy. I can relate to that myself as I knew when I was ten years old, I would hang out with Mick Jagger one day. I knew those were my people… my kind.

Pamela has made a career out of her life as a proud groupie. But certainly she has a right to claim the term because she helped invent it! She now calls it her “groupie heart” and that is something anyone who’s ever had a crush on someone or loved someone’s music so much that it altered your DNA can relate to. Hasn’t everyone felt that way? Every guy or gal who picks up a guitar or slings a mic stand had to have been dazzled by their inspiration or felt a need to pursue that for their own futures. So, my point is this- none of it is negative nor should one word hold so much power that when it’s flung at a woman, she’ll feel shamed or scorned.

When I started to get a bit of fame, the media seemed to want to call me anything but “groupie”. It was “Friend Of The Stars”, “Queen Of The Rock Chicks”, “Leggy Model”, “The Mother Of All Rock Chicks”, “It Girl”… so when the internet entered our lives, I began to see just how judgmental and downright mean people were about the women who hung out with the bands. It started to become something so dirty and taboo that I wanted no part of that term. It’s a thin line, a hard one to walk. Personally, I feel loving music and being attracted to musicians is as natural as doctors and nurses getting along. Humans are drawn to their soul tribe. Music, musicians and all art forms attract me. I’m the moth to that flame.

As an entertainer myself, it always hurt me when what I actually do for my job was ignored or not taken seriously because of the famous names I’ve been attached to. It’s so one-sided to only put that burden on women. It has been the norm for men to be patted on the back and admired for their taste in women and especially if they were able to appeal to many and have tons of sexual experiences. Even in the animal kingdom, the male peacock has the massive plume bloom to attract as many lovers as he can. A male lion can rule the pride with his sexual domination. A male celebrity only becomes more famous if he’s got a beautiful model or actress on his arm. Whereas a woman who’s dance card is busy or even full is often ridiculed or bashed. Branded with the scarlet letter of infamy.

It started to get under my skin when I saw myself defined only by who I’d dated or had close friendships with. It’s the luck of the draw. Some women who are in the public eye can date and marry a celeb several times and be embraced for it. They use it to further their already visible life. They are proud and exploit all their lovers as the playthings that they’ve become. Some have become famous by leaking a porno or being on a reality show. What was once a limited field has become wide open with lots of branches of thought and assumption. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for me to fight for my image… my persona… my legacy. But I did fight. I turned down almost every request I was presented to be interviewed for groupie documentaries or sensationalized TV shows. Sometimes turning down large sums of money. But I wanted to work hard and felt if I worked hard enough one day I’d be thought of for what I did on a stage, in front of the lens of a camera, as a mother and at times even a manager, more than who I shared my life with. Dare I use the “R” word? I wanted RESPECT.

There’s lots of contrast in the definition of groupie or muse but what about “partners”… the duos who took the world by storm. Sonny & Cher, Karen & Richard Carpenter, Debbie Harry & Chris Stein, Jack & Meg White, Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsbourg, Stevie Nicks & Lindsey Buckingham, Annie Lennox & Dave Stewart, Kim Gordon & Thurston Moore, etc… Or Chrissie Hynde and Courtney Love, who both married musicians. There’s a kaleidoscope of ways women are seen. It all depends on how you are first perceived. The general public seem to hold on to how they first heard of you even if you go on to do many different things in your life. Marianne Faithfull is a perfect example of someone who has been able to transcend her detractors and carry on like the warrior she is. But it baffles my mind how anyone could call her or Anita Pallenberg anything but tastemakers and trendsetters. They were the women I would stare at for hours as a young girl. They fascinated me almost more than the guys they hung out with. Yet I still hear them sometimes referred to as groupies.

Like any entertainer, I have an overwhelming need to be loved and to give love and positive energy to others. That’s why I crave being onstage. The connection with the audience is almost like having the best sex in the world. Or at minimum, a great, soulful hug that sends sparks through your body. I’ve been doing this since 1980, in public anyway. This is my life… not the talented, special men I dated in my youth. That’s part of my story and I will never regret a single heartbreak nor will I ever regret loving to the point of forgetting myself and my own pursuits. But I want to be remembered for more than my dates or suitors. I gave birth to a child who grew up to become a superstar so the role of nurturer has followed me throughout my life. I’ve accepted the fact that my fate is to be a vessel for talent and to enrich those who possess it. It’s become who I am- all the parts and pieces of my karma rolled into one big bang! My artistic side occupies just as much space as my musing side- equal parts love and creative energy.

Things come full circle especially when I get approached after one of my shows by young girls that call me “High Priestress” or tell me that they are my “groupies”. When I hear the words “Bebe, Im your biggest groupie!”, my heart swells but I also like to immediately remind them that I do what I do onstage because of them. Because of the exchange being a performer gives to my being. It’s like fuel… hors d’oeuvres for the soul.

One morning in 2009, I got a call from an old industry friend who had landed at Interscope Records. I was awoken with, “Bebe, you’ve been touted in a song produced by Pharrell Williams called ‘Bebe Buell’ by a young band from Boston called Chester French.” I remember thinking “wow, that’s a nice compliment” because the gist of the song was that someone like me or Pamela Anderson Lee were the creme de la creme of rock-boy desire. There’s a clothing line called ‘Muse & Lyrics‘ that has a blouse/top called “The Bebe” and the brand ‘I’m With The Band’ has named their leopard scarfs and headbands the “Bebe”. There’s even a cocktail called “The Bebe Buell”.

But I think one of the coolest things was having Cameron Crowe name the lead singer in Stillwater Jeff Bebe. He gave me the original T-shirt that was used in the movie, too, and boy do I treasure it! Cameron sprinkled all kinds of little clues and messages throughout Almost Famous. I was especially touched by the Jeff Bebe nod because he knew how much I wanted to be a singer in a band. I remember him once saying to me that I should just go for it. At that point, people only knew me as a model and Todd Rundgren’s girlfriend. I hadn’t even done Playboy yet, so I was still trying to figure out who I was and how to do it. I finally did but it took me six more years to get in the studio and front a band!

It’s moving to be honored and it’s also nice to be appreciated by the younger generation of pop culture lovers. The first time my name was in a song, I was excited by it. My old friend G.E. Smith had a line on his solo album that was about coming to visit “Bebe and Liz”… he came over to my best friend Liz Derringer’s house to play it for us. We were elated… it was cool. I would never be so bold as to sit here and make a list of my lovers or the songs they wrote for me because it seems so long ago. I’d rather leave that up to the fans of the music to decipher and besides not all songs written for others are acknowledged as such. I’ve had several songs given to me as gifts or written to me in letters.

Sometimes the authors don’t admit it because their feelings change and they don’t want to upset their new love interest. Didn’t Bob Dylan write “Leopard Skin Pill Box Hat”, “Just Like A Woman”, “Fourth Time Around” and “Like A Rolling Stone” about Edie Sedgwick, only to later deny it? I know the feeling because it’s happened to me. So, at this point in my life, I just cherish the letters (yes, I still have them so one day when we’re all gone they will maybe solve the puzzles) and I respect and allow artistic license to have its day. It’s an artist’s prerogative to change their minds so I hold no hurt feelings. Music buffs are pretty smart anyway and they usually know the truth, so it matters little unless it’s blatant. The one topic that irks me is that I claimed This Year’s Model was about me. Well, that’s impossible because I didn’t meet and start to date Elvis Costello until he was well into Armed Forces. I was living with him in London when he recorded it in the fall of 1978. He included a couple of lyrics from songs on Armed Forces in letters to me but I can say with certainty that “Party Girl” wasn’t one of them. I guess it was the timing of the release that made people speculate I was the subject, but I wasn’t and never claimed to be. He didn’t even know me when he wrote those records. Why this is disputed has always been a mystery to me. The songs Mr. Costello sent me in letters were from later albums, starting with Get Happy. I will always wonder too why he would say something so false and perpetuate a rumor twenty years later in the liner notes of a re-issue.  Here’s to hoping it is finally put to rest. And even with the shame and pain I felt at the time, I feel no regret or ill will toward anyone. To me the truth is pretty obvious. Remember the story I told earlier about Catherine The Great? Revenge is often used when hearts are hurt, and it is very common in the entertainment industry.

In summing up my thoughts on the topic, I feel it’s time in our culture to appreciate the roles women have played in art since the beginning of time. Dali had his Gala, Picasso would hide the initials of his mistresses in his paintings and secretly tell them so they would know it was for them, Clapton immortalized his love and lust for Patti Boyd with the ultimate ode in “Layla” and John Lennon may have written the most beautiful love song of all for Yoko in “Woman”. Or was it Paul McCartney with “The Long And Winding Road” about Jane Asher or “Maybe I’m Amazed” about the spectacular Linda Eastman McCartney?

We can’t leave out the spirited and unique George Sand whose given name was Aurore Dupin. She was born in Paris on July 1, 1804 and adopted the name “George” because women couldn’t write professionally with the freedom of men in those days. She became one of the most popular writers in Europe during her lifetime- one of the most notable writers of the European Romantic era. She would wear male attire in public saying it was easier and more affordable than women’s garb. She was a confidant to Franz Liszt and lover and muse to Chopin. She would lie beneath the piano while Chopin composed, saying it sent the music through her entire body instead of just her ears.

Music is primal and it gets into our bloodstream. It’s easy to see why young girls get crushes on their idols and some even grow up to marry their dream man. But the days of defining women by their sexual desires or “conquests” should be on the wane. I never looked at the men I dated or loved as conquests. Humans aren’t territories to be battled over or ceded to. The human connection is divine. Each and every person we cross paths with is part of our magical life story.  So, whatever you identify yourself as is fine. That is your privilege and judgement should not follow even if the choices aren’t the norm. As Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”

*Closing side note* As I was finishing this essay, I was doodling with a People magazine crossword puzzle and one of the clues was “GROUPIE”. Guess what the answer was… “FAN”. The timing was uncanny!

[haileydilmore]

im good!! tired .somehow managed to wake up randomly at 5 am and it took me like 20 minutes to get myself back to sleep... jane/linda fic ??? golden treasure and or eddie character study???? 👀 canu tell me more.../nf also damn i really need to actually start writing the sheila character study/my version of her past fic

yessssss omg ok so. the jane/linda is mostly a deeply unhealthy friends to therapist/patient. and ljke. theyre both unhappy w/ their husbands so they just fuck and theyre. so so so unhealthy and shouldnt be doing that but theyre both vulnerable and sighs dreamily...its angst and very. "and when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night with your head in your hands youre nothing more than his wife"-y

AND. you know how i like to make my favorites have bpd/npd. well. eddie with bpd loving charles like the dog he is......worshipping him like a god.........them <3

AND OMG SHEILA PAST AND CHARACTER STUDY.....:thats so fucking aweskme.......omg.....tell me abt it /nf :3

[thecrabbybarista]

Hatchetfield Fantasy au that I'm working on!!!

Characters

Shadow Consumer - Unknown classification - Chaotic evil - Shadow Consumer is some sort of monster, entity, or disease that cannot be explained entirely. Its behavior is wild, and appears to be impulsive. It preys on anything it's able to find, but seems to be very attracted to animals, magic flowers or plants, and mages who are connected to nature (Elves, Druids, ect) it enters their victims through their pores. What happens after that is a mystery. The creature does not appear to be born naturally. It has no consistent appearance, and seems to move like a kind gas that can control its form at will. - Strengths: Too early to say - Weaknesses: too early to say

Emma Perkins - Half-Elven warrior - Chaotic neutral - Emma, who was raised in the Elven city of Lymelona (Thanks name generator) is witty and resourceful, which is perfect for combat. She often outsmarts her foes, or sneaks up on them before getting the kill. She used to work at a potion brewery until she was hired by a group of dragon slayers in Hatchetfield. - Strengths: speedy, intelligent, strong in offensive combat - Weaknesses: pushes others away, susceptible to some types of magic, weak in defensive combat - Friends/allies: Paul, Charlotte, Bill, Nora, Zoey - Neutral: Ted, Professor Hidgens, Jane - Enemies: Linda, Shadow Consumer, Sorcerer Schaeffer

Paul Matthews - Human Healer - Lawful Good - Paul grew up in Hatchetfield and learned how to use his magic there. He could hardly hurt a fly. He lets his emotions control him most of the time, but is able to control his temper often. He doesn't get into fights much, but when his allies get involved he usually supports them from the sidelines, healing their injuries. - Strengths: Caring, Strong control over magic, Loyal - Weaknesses : Weak in combat, acts on emotions immediately, susceptible to overusing magic and hurting themself - Allies: Emma, Ted, Charlotte, Bill, Alice, - Neutral: Deb, Professor Hidgens - Enemies: Shadow Consumer

Ted - Human Warrior - True Neutral - Ted grew up in Hatchetfield, along with Charlotte. He is self taught, which makes him a sometimes dim witted, but unpredictable fighter. He is not the most heroic person, but he has done a good deed every now and then. He lives only for himself and his own ideals, and usually doesn't get attached to others. - Strengths: Confident, strong in offensive combat, unpredictable - Weaknesses - Cowardly, unintelligent, rude - Allies: Charlotte, Bill - Neutral: Paul, Emma - Enemies: N/A or too many to list

Charlotte - Elven Mage (Animist)- Neutral Good - Charlotte was born in Clivesdale, an elven city that appears to be completely normal to commoners, but was moved to Hatchetfield at a very young age. Her abilities with magic are a bit shaky, but she often uses items to help improve her spells. She has a strong connection with felines, and often calls for their aid in battle. Her familiar is a pure white cat, who leads Charlotte when she's lost. She often plays a supporting role in battles, but can and will strike the enemy when the time is right. - Strengths: Aware of nature, Loyal, Strong when least expected. - Weaknesses: Clumsy/messy, uneducated on certain topics, does not question the people around her. - Allies: Ted, Paul, Bill - Neutral: Emma - Enemies: Zoey, Shadow Consumer

Bill - Human Mage (Psychic) - Lawful Good - Bill lived happily in Hatchetfield with his wife, and his daughter, Alice. Over time, their relationships weakened and his wife left to Clivesdale, taking Alice with her. He wants to be there for Alice, but he doesn't know how to connect with her. In battle, he takes a defensive stance. He warns his allies about potential attacks or moves that the enemy can make, and is also able to tell when someone needs healing. Because of this, him and Paul have a great dynamic. - Strengths: Aware of people, caring, strong with magic - Weaknesses: Weak in offensive combat, acts on emotions immediately, susceptible to dark magic - Allies: Paul, Alice, Charlotte, Emma, Ted, Professor Hidgens - Neutral: Deb - Enemies: Shadow Consumer,

Alice - Half-Elven Mage (Creationist) - Chaotic Good - Alice spent a majority of her life in Clivesdale, where she practiced sculpting and bringing her creations to life. She spends a majority of her time in her own world, ignoring the boundaries set by the adults in her life. She does not engage in combat, but her sculptures have wandered off and gotten into some predicaments before. - Strengths: Kind, assertive, creative - Weaknesses: Unaware of surroundings, reckless, easily persuaded - Allies: Bill, Paul, Deb - Neutral: Emma, Charlotte, Ted - Enemies: N/A

Deb - Human Commoner - Lawful Neutral - Deb lives in Hatchetfield, but frequently visits Clivesdale to spend time with Alice. As a painter, she is fascinated by Alice's ability to bring any kind of art to life. She plans on becoming a warrior like her mother when she grows up. She's laid back, and knows exactly how to end an argument. She does not engage in combat, but will someday. - Allies: Alice - Neutral: Bill, Paul - Enemies: N/A

​​​​​​

Professor Hidgens - Human Bard - Lawful Evil - Hidgens isn't exactly a professor anymore, even if he still uses that title. He grew up normally in Hatchetfield, until his fear of a world-ending alien invasion grew too great to ignore. He hid away in a bunker near the edge of town. He gets lonely sometimes, so he writes and sings songs to lift his spirits. He will also sell anyone to satan for one corn chip. - Strengths: Intelligent, strong in magical combat, strong in defensive combat - Weaknesses: Easily persuaded by evil, Not loyal, acts on impulse - Allies: Greg and Steve and Stu and Mark and Leighton and Chad - Neutral: Emma, Shadow Consumer - Enemies: N/A

Sorcerer Schaeffer - Human Mage (Plague Mage) - Neutral Evil - Schaeffer is one of the most powerful mages that makes up PEIP (Paranormal, Extraterrestrial, Interdimensional, Phenomena), and organization set on protecting the world from unearthly beings. Well... Most of it anyways. Schaeffer has her own plans, or perhaps they weren't her plans. It's hard to tell. While she assists on some heroic missions, she's only in it for her reputation. She spends most of her time studying and strengthening her magic. What she doesn't strengthen is her control over it. - Strengths: Powerful, intelligent, unpredictable - Weaknesses: Egotistical, little to no control over magic, loud - Allies: It changes every day - Neutral: Shadow Consumer, Sorcerer McNamara - Enemies: N/A

Sorcerer McNamara - Human Mage (Abjurer) - Lawful Good - McNamara is another mage who works for PEIP. He believes in the universal truth of love, and would do anything to protect the world that he is so lucky to be a part of. He may seem a little strange, or even crazy at first, but he makes friends easily. - Strengths: Brave, Loyal, Caring - Weaknesses: Predictable, Gullible, Weak in Offensive combat - Allies: Sorcerer Schaeffer, Paul - Neutral: N/A - Enemies: Shadow Consumer

Linda Monroe - Human (Cultist) Mage (Channeller) - Neutral Evil - Linda was once just a normal self centered person, but then she pledged herself to a mysterious god of destruction. She calls this being "Wiggly" and describes him as a creature who thrives off of chaos and lives in the shadows. Whether he is connected to Shadow Consumer or not is unknown. She has managed to gather a following, and she plans to spread her exciting new religion all over the world - Strengths: Respected, Powerful, Knows God himself (?) - Weaknesses: Narcissist, Somewhat dim witted, Delusional - Allies: Wiggly and/or Shadow Consumer - Neutral: N/A - Enemies: PEIP (yes all of them),

Wiggly - Wiggly - Wiggly - Your friendy wend - Strengths: Wiggly - Weaknesses: N/A - Allies: Linda - Neutral: N/A - Enemies: Those who dare defy him

Minor Characters

Zoey - Elven Bard - Lawful Neutral

Nora - Elven Commoner - Chaotic Good

Melissa - Human Mage (Illusionist) - Chaotic Evil

Jane Perkins - Ghost - True Neutral

[ao3feed-destiel]

Fight for your Mate

Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/30uXzKW

by lil_lavender_boi

Castiel, youngest heir to Novak corp., now in his third year in college gets to live on his own, well almost. Castiel gets to live with a his best friend Balthazar in on campus housing but Balthazar informs him a tad to late that he had to get extra roommates; a couple Sam and Jessica. Castiel is very unsure about them but when his car breaks down and needs to be fixed, Sam suggests his brother and dad's family company, a auto mechanic shop. Little did Castiel know, the moment he stepped into that shop would change his life forever.

Words: 4288, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Alastair (Supernatural), Crowley (Supernatural), Benny Lafitte, Balthazar (Supernatural), Samandriel (Supernatural), Anna Milton, Hannah (Supernatural), John Winchester, Bobby Singer, Ellen Harvelle, Jo Harvelle, Lucifer (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Meg Masters (Demon), Charlie Bradbury, Jessica Moore, Naomi (Supernatural), Abaddon (Supernatural), Garth Fitzgerald IV, Kevin Tran, Linda Tran, Chuck Shurley, Jack Kline, Jane (Supernatural), Jody Mills, Alex Jones (Supernatural), Claire Novak, Original Supernatural (TV) Character(s), Original Dog Character(s)

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Ellen Harvelle/Bobby Singer, Alastair/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Human, Students, Studying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Castiel (Supernatural), Possessive Dean Winchester, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Sexual Assault, Rape/Non-con Elements, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Bad Parent John Winchester, Abusive John Winchester, Child Abuse, Drugs, Drug Use, Partying, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Homophobic Language, Bigotry & Prejudice, Mutual Pining, Bad Boy Dean Winchester, Cigarettes, Smoking, Depression, Family Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Awkward Castiel (Supernatural), Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Frottage, Mutual Masturbation, Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Dry Humping, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Alpha Alastair (Supernatural), Abusive Alastair (Supernatural), Minor Castiel/Meg Masters, Bisexuality, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Implied Mpreg, Mpreg

Link: https://ift.tt/30uXzKW

[gotatext]

TASK OO1 / OOC SURVEY.

[kermit voice] hallo.... its me 

YOUR ALIAS & NICKNAMES — nora

AGE — 23

TIMEZONE — gmt

PREFERRED PRONOUNS — she/her

MBTI — enfp-infp border cos im an introvert who Masquerades as an extrovert :)

HP HOUSE — i spent 10 yrs of my life thinkin i was gryffindor.... to find out.... huffle....puff...... 

ARE YOU A STUDENT? WHAT DO YOU STUDY? — i fuckin wish! being a student was dope af i got stressed about essays like once a month and apart from that i was just chillin, surrounded by really intelligent people every day n livin it up on the party scene. adult life fucking sucks no one wants to have fun cos we all work fuckin tonnes of hours so we can afford to eat and get paid peanuts xx

ARE YOU ENJOYING IT? — im really afraid of bein one of those jock types who peaked in high school but i deff peaked in uni like 100% i was way more interesting 2 years ago

LINKS TO OTHER ACCOUNTS & SOCIAL MEDIA — im not showin u my instagram bc im a fuckin embarassment but this is pinterest , this is my personal blog, this is my writing / 1x1 blog i never use any more n this is my trash talking twitter where i mostly just cry about timothee chalamet and bash the tories. 

DISCORD USER — kristine’s forehead vein#8664

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FICTION GENRE? — i dont read fanfiction much but when i do u can be sure it’s slow burn angsty enemies to lovers mutual pining heart attack every time one of them accidentally brushes the other’s hand

TOP FIVE FAVOURITE FILMS — suspiria (2018 luca guadagnino version rogue i kno but i prefer the remake), the lobster, before sunrise, baz luhrmann romeo + juliet, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind,  thoroughbreds (REC!! so underwatched pls watch it. compelling female characters), hunt for the wilderpeople (also so underwatched), swiss army man, call me by your name, atonement, moonrise kingdom, trainspotting, the florida project. i rlly like films ok

A BOOK YOU FEEL “CHANGED” YOU? — the song of achilles by madeline miller n also fen by daisy johnson

A MOVIE YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN? — booksmart cos its fuckin dope

WHAT IS YOUR SIGN? — libra

ARE YOU INTO ASTROLOGY? —  i like to pretend im super invested in it mostly to anger my friends but tbh.... i just use it as a rough guide for character creation.... its fun but i dnt .... fully invest in what it has to say..... altho i am the most unbalanced n indecisive bitch on earth so i guess they got that right !! i just live to please baybeyy!

WHAT PLATFORMS HAVE YOU ROLEPLAYED ON? — tumblr for about 8 year (omg) n before tht facebook..... i was very embarassingly in a twilight rp..... i wrote jane..... i also rped as a scene kid oc n when i was like 12 i was on some weird forum harry potter roleplay where i basically played a self insert with georgie henley as the fc......

WHAT OTHER HOBBIES DO YOU HAVE? — i used to have so many hobbies but now i jst lie in my bed staring at the ceiling. but before i was workin like a dog i loved reading, writing, acting in theatre productions..... going out on the town getting bevved..... big druggy EDM nights in warehouses tht probably weren’t liscenced for tht many ppl..... gigs... costume-design and making, spoken word poetry, acrylic painting n rollerskating but my sister broke my skates abt two years ago in vengeance and i’ll never forgive her that fuckin bitch

HAVE ANY PETS? IF SO, TALK ABOUT THEM! — no my landlord is a fascist

IS THERE A TV SHOW YOU RECOMMEND A LOT? — i’ll never stop reccing euphoria!! also i was pleasantly surprised by looking for alaska!! but i also rlly like bob’s burgers, parks and rec, good omens.... black mirror, n sharp objects. lovesick on bbciplayer (n netflix i think) is also rlly fun

ANY SHOWS YOU LIKE SOME MIGHT BE SURPRISED TO HEAR THAT YOU DO? — maybe love island, idk if i talk abt that much bc i am ashamed but i am so obsessed with it. i even got the love island game n got so invested in my fictional relationship w bobby tht i had to delete it

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? WOULD YOU RECOMMEND IT? — god god... i haven’t finished a book in ages.... i recently started reading milkman by anna burns, the bees by laline paull and everything under by daisy johnson.... bt the last book i read cover to cover was probs circe. defs read it. feminist and witchy

CURRENTLY READING? — i jst said this but the bees, everything under and less so milkman cos im finding milkman a bit tough

LAST FILM? REC IT? — i watched ladyworld the lord of the flies all-female remake n even maya hawke could not save it.... dnt get me wrong from an art film point of view i loved it but it felt a bit underdeveloped n a level media studies for me..... apart from tht?? the runaways (yorkshire film not released yet at a preview screening) and threads (also a yorkshire film from the 80s about nuclear apocalypse)

THREE MOVIES YOU NEED TO WATCH — portrait of a lady on fire, i work at an independent cinema n we recently had a preview screening and everyone said it was SICK, uhhhh short term 12, n the new eliza scanlen movie babyteeth

WHAT MOVIE DO YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN THE MOST TIMES? — madagascar because when i was 12 my parents bought me a little television with a dvd player in it for my birthday and madagascar was the only dvd i owned for like..... the first two years of havin the absolute luxury of a tv in my room so i just used to watch it all the time n i now basically know the script inside out

WHAT ALWAYS PUTS YOU IN A GOOD MOOD? — nothing, life is pointless n i hate fun, let me rot in peace

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE MUSICIAN / BAND? LIST IF THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE. — ughhh god probably lcd soundsystem. gorillaz, the streets, tame impala, talking heads, soft hair, i also love lizz tho n also angry twangy guitar girl bands like girlpool, courtney barnett, best coast, cherry glazerr,

WILD NIGHT OUT OR QUIET NIGHT IN? — quiet night in my party days are over i cant even be bothered to go to the shops if its past 4.30pm and dark these days

ANY PHOBIAS? — clowns n rats

DO YOU LIKE BUGS? — absolutely not

BIRDS? — yes but not if they fly in my face

ARE YOU A CAT OR DOG PERSON? BOTH? — i love both i want one 

BIGGEST PET PEEVE? — tory middle aged boomers who treat me like actual shit on their shoe because i work in the service industry like thats my choice and their poor economic decisions didnt mean i have to do a shitty job to afford to live bcos of austerity n cuts to arts funding meaning i cant get a job writing unless i self-fund :)))

FAVOURITE THING ABOUT THE RPC? — that everyone ive met through rp is a fuckin LAFF

TOP TEN FAVE FCS TO USE? — god .... diana silvers, timothee chalamet, margaret qualley, kristine froseth, froy gutierrez, zendaya, elle fanning, astrid berges frisbey, hunter schafer, leonardo dicaprio

FIVE YOU LIKE WRITING AGAINST? — herman tomeraas, hunter schafer, saoirse ronan, timothee chalamet, froy gutierrez

FAVOURITE TYPE OF FOOD? — linda mccartney 1/2pounder mozzarella veggie burgers, sweet potato wedges, tomato soup, mozzarella sticks, brownies

WORST FOOD? — green things like broccoli n sprouts gross. baked beans cos as a kid ppl used to do baked bean baths for comic relief / red nosed day a lot n i thought when they were finished in the baked bean bath they just put all the cold beans back in the tin. actually anything small that moves around on your plate. peas. spaghetti. sweetcorn. i dont like small things i cant control.

DO YOU PLAY VIDEOGAMES? IF SO, WHAT ONES AND ON WHAT PLATFORM DO YOU PREFER? — last year my housemate had an xbox n i went through a phase of obsessively playin fable 3 it was amazing. i had like 5 husbands and 3 wives and loads of kids but they all ended up leavin me cos i spent so much time out doing quests neglecting them

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE TAG? — this

LASTLY, HOW DID YOU FIND US? — im one of those bitches who was in this grp all the way back when it was swipe... so quirky and original!! i knew the band before u! anyway im goin now this has been sufficiently embarassing..... i am lame

[johnrgordon]

Writing a historical novel #6 – research is intimidating (but has to be done) pt 4 of 4 – breakthrough

(image: ’Black Angels’ by George Barnard)

For the past ten years I have been working on a historical novel, Drapetomania, Or, The Narrative of Cyrus Tyler and Abednego Tyler, lovers, set in slavery times in the American Deep South, and telling of the passionate love between two men, Cyrus and Abednego, and their bid for freedom from bondage – out now! As I worked on a final edit of the 183,000 word manuscript, I began reflecting on the process. These are some of my thoughts.

Plowing through 1700pp of slavery narratives, alongside historical accounts, contextualizing information and contemporary fictions (including, belatedly, Huckleberry Finn, which I realised I had never read, and is, it turns out, a post civil war tale of pre-war slavery times and thus a curious, paradoxical exercise in recent nostalgia), was ultimately liberating, and in several ways, some obvious, some less so.

The most basic change was simply this: I had moved from knowing nothing (much) to knowing a great deal about historical representations of slavery experiences and the context in which they arose. Funny how one can internalize ‘not knowing’ as an identity, but I realised that for half a decade I had done so.

While modern history is extremely useful in framing the past, there’s nothing like reading contemporary material to give you a feel for the idiom, for the aesthetic and therefore mental landscape of a period; and allowing some sense of that to enter your writing fairly much automatically creates an authenticity of tone without a need to overdo quaint dialogue or overwork period terms or references (which is very tempting): sometimes a mule cart can just be a mule cart and need not be a barouche or phaeton, and so on.

Behind that commonsense evocation of another time is an interesting – and in its way somewhat liberating – philosophical point: what makes a historical novel feel real to any (non-academic) reader is how far it seems to embody the tone and timbre of novels that were written at the time in which it is set. Yet those novels – that is, those fictions – were and are themselves cultural constructs, informed by the personalities and perceptions, quirks and kinks of their authors, as well as by what was generally permitted at their time of writing. Did real people ever talk as Dickens’ characters talk? Or Jane Austen’s? Probably not. Or maybe yes, kind of. Did they also say shit or cunt? We can’t penetrate very far beyond that essentially literary limit of possible knowledge – we literally cannot know, as there are no other records of direct speech, (beyond court testimonials, themselves generally ‘written up’ by officials who sometimes added literary flourishes of their own, and would have at the least redacted swearing and blasphemy), how people really spoke back then – and so (I believe) the modern writer is free to permit him/herself to improvise around general impressions without being too weighed down by forensic fears about historical accuracy of register once obvious anachronisms have been tidied away.

A further level of literary reflexivity arises in consideration of slave narratives, which, being as they tend to be billed as ‘the true account of’, it’s natural for us to approach initially as if they are simple primary sources. This is to ignore the attention those who escaped slavery paid to ensuring that their autobiographies conformed both to the existing novelistic conventions of the time, and (soon enough) to the evolving (oftentimes best-selling) new genre of The Slave Narrative itself. So these historical artifacts are not simply ‘true’ – they too are literary constructs; and indeed, reading them I was struck by how often they cleaved to conventions of romance novels such as Charlotte Brontë’s Jane Eyre – this is perhaps most strongly evident in the narrative of Harriet Jacobs (Linda Brent), one of the few women to write her story (& she was proprietorial about it too). Ironically, to a modern reader, the flourishes – the ‘Picture if you can, dear reader’ asides – that would have drawn in a nineteenth century reader are somewhat off-putting nowadays: we hope for the unvarnished truth of experience, or a truth that seems unvarnished, anyway.

Helpfully for the fiction writer, the narratives reveal that slaves endured wildly differing conditions synchronically as well as diachronically, and that plantations differed hugely in how they were run, what those enslaved could hope to get away with, what freedoms were allowed or curtailed in terms of movement, what punishments imposed; even such grimly basic matters as whether shoes were available. So as a non-academic I could write my story without too much anxiety that I was failing to capture some single, singular, detailedly true and therefore authentic monolithic account of things only accessible to scholars. There were many experiences, and those we have are only those recorded: other experiences were possible.

Another point to note as far as using slavery narratives as a resource is that the published tales – some ‘as told to’ and therefore mediated to unknown extents by their white amanuenses – were intended to be read by a white audience. Therefore there is behind them of necessity a hidden, largely unspoken version that just occasionally breaks the waterline: the account that might have been written for a black readership, had such a thing then been imaginable. This sense of things unsaid, of things left out, was liberating to me from the point of view of presuming to create a fictional tale: the realization that there was something beyond a greater level of explicitness about the facts of life that might legitimately be added to both historical records and autobiographical writing, something beyond my simple initial impulse to realistically render passionate same-sex love in such a time and place.

While the slave narratives are moving, disturbing and full of insights, they often lack contextualizing detail for the modern reader of 150-200 years later. Writing about my own life now I might say something today like, ‘I topped up my Oyster and got the tube to town’ – perfectly comprehensible to any reader in C21st London. However, in 200 years’ time every element of that statement might be wholly obscure, (‘perhaps he means he ate a heavy meal of shellfish before setting out?’) and it’s certainly lacking in evocative detail – use of money or a payment card, yellow disc on ticket machine, automatic barriers, escalators, sliding doors of carriages, name of tube line etcetera. All this kind of information tends to be absent from primary sources, the more so as their intent was campaigning and therefore contemporary in focus.

Unexpectedly liberating in this regard was the British abolitionist MP J.S. Buckingham’s 1839 Journey through the Southern Slave States. While in many ways a dry read, precisely because he was a tourist (& one critical of slavery, which the British had finally abolished in 1833, to white southern consternation) Buckingham records many details a local would omit, including potted summaries of the economic workings of many of the towns and villages and estates he passed through; competition and lack of competition in stagecoach lines; quality of rooms and food in inns and so on. This – finally – gave me greater confidence in sending my protagonist out into a wider world beyond the plantation’s bounds.

As settings fell into place, the internet was invaluable as an adjunct, of course. What type of pistols were used in 1850; what carriages ridden in; what hats worn? One academic website has assembled advertisements for runaway slaves decade by decade, and you can study the way the phrasing altered over time, and the amounts offered for recapture; and so, without ever stating the year, (because ultimately I felt it would never mean anything to my protagonists), I could embed the tale ever more densely in its period.

All this meant that Cyrus could now leave the wilderness into which he had first run, into which he had been pursued by dogs, and from which he had emerged following a sort of psychic rebirth, and find himself once more among people. And so a break in the writing that lasted nearly five years was ended, and I accelerated forwards.

Buy Drapetomania here (US) & here (UK)