#it's a good thing I wrote this up early - I'm not really in the headspace to put so much consideration into stuff and things

[edennill]

If Tolkien characters had Tumblr blogs part 2:

part 1

Finduilas:

url: waitingtothewind

pfp: drawing of a fictional crush in pastel colours (babygirl fulfills her royal duty to exercise patronage over artists by comissioning reams of fanart lol)

bio: ✧˖･* princess finduilas of nargothrond :) ✧˖･* 47 ✧˖･* poetry appreciator ✧˖･* romantic at heart ✧˖･* girl of many fandoms ✧˖･* favourite animal: doggos ✧˖･* favourite food: strawberry juice ✧˖･* and if I had a voice that could make mountains melt I would walk over stars just to see how it felt ✧˖･*

title: ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

has a very pink custom theme with a fancy font. runs a fandom/aesthetic blog and stays clear of discourse. writes really good meta that is quite popular and poems that get notes in the single digits. doesn't really know how to deal with anon hate. participates in every tag game she comes across.

Maeglin:

url: keeps changing it between @molelol and @twilitdark because he likes small animals, but wants to sound edgy.

pfp: keeps changing it between a baby mole and the kind of very dark photo where you can't really see what it's supposed to be.

bio: M / not a minor

title: the dark under the trees

guards his personal info incredibly closely (a good practice, but how much of it is due to his father having been so controlling that he learned secrecy early on is up for discussion). rarely posts, mostly reblogs photos and shitposts. vaguely vents about his idril/tuor/gondolin/treason problems. when he gets into discussions with people he can be uncomfortably fierce, has sent anon hate on occasion.

Celebrimbor:

url: craftingsilver

pfp: red eight pointed star (default variation, not technically fëanorian) on yellow background

bio: older/younger than you think | look I've seen the Trees that's enough | Noldorin jewelsmith | male

title: time and soul, wrought and tempered

mostly posts and reblogs crafting tiktoks and tips, sometimes adds a dash of science, philosophy or something personal. has made a resolution to filter out any posts pertaining to his family on his dashboard and keeps to it almost till the end. shows a strong sense of humour and has gathered quite a following.

Idril:

url: celebrin-does-things

pfp: blurred photo of her with her back to the camera

bio: 500s - architect, wife and mother - everyone is welcome

title: "ammë, there's winter in my boots"

started off as a miscellaneous blog, but shifted to being mostly about Eärendil's shenanigans. she vaguely vents about maeglin/gondolin/cousin's treason sometimes, but still comes off as way more laid back than irl. hardly used her tumblr before her son was born and still treats it mostly as a place to document things he has said + a way to talk with like three treasured mutuals. the architect part in bio is mostly a ruse because she has only ever completed one or two projects but can hardly reveal she's a princess, can she? (before the fall of nargothrond if she got on tumblr it was to nag Finduilas to remove her personal info from bio hah)

@eri-pl, this is in part because you asked (a while ago, sorry), though I'm afraid I don't have much to say about all your suggestions. I prefer not to get into Sauron's headspace actually, but the idea of him having access to social media is horrifying lol. And Pharazon has all the worst characteristics of Reddit atheists, non-ironic modern white supremacists and racist trolls rolled into one with the added horror of the new unsavoury state cult. Míriel is not allowed a sim card🙁😬

also I'm just now realising I tagged a compatriot in something I wrote at 3 am so if you have time stamps on you now know my messed up sleep schedule and if you don't I've just told you lol but never mind.

[multiplicity-positivity]

hey, I'm a questioning plural, and I don't know if I'm coming to the right place for this but I feel like I experience this differently than most plurals I see on here (I've deemed how I feel Blural for Reasons That Will Be Expanded Upon Later lol). So, first, I (the host?) don't really have any control or knowledge over who's where, when. They just sort of show up when we're doing different activities, and sometimes there's multiple... Fronting, I guess? I don't know if that's the right word. We also don't really have a communal inner world, so if they're there they're there, if they're not they're not. And here's where Blural comes in- they have different roles and identities, but they feel more like the same person copy-pasted but with some aspects changed, so there's considerable overlap and it make it kind of hard to differentiate them. So I guess Im wondering if there's like, a term for this? Or if it's a development stage sort of thing? Thanks for being here btw, you've helped us a lot ^^ (sorry the ask is so long)

Hey - we’re not sure if there’s a specific term for what you’re experiencing. To us, it just sounds like being a system in the early stages of discovery.

It’s pretty normal for system members to not have a ton of awareness about other system members, especially not at first. It’s also very common for system members to not be able to control each other. Even a system’s host may struggle with keeping their system on the same page or not even be aware of how many members their system has. Our system was in a similar position when we first started learning about each other.

Having multiple members front at the same time is another common occurrence. As we understand it, when two or more members are fronting together with shared access to the world and control over their body, that is co-fronting. If one member is fronting fully while another member is able to be present and witness events without being an active participant, that is being co-conscious. Our system experiences a mixture of both!

As far as an inner world… most systems don’t come with one right off the bat. For many systems, inner worlds or headspaces are visualization tools that were actively imagined and built by the systems themselves. We wrote a post about headspaces in the past which might help you learn more:

And as for your fellow headmates appearing as copies… some systems do just function that way. We’ve known systems to have twin members, clone members, carbon-copy members, or to fully exist as a system made up of multiple versions of one person. This might change in the future, as you all grow and learn more about yourselves and each other… or it might not. For some folks, that’s how their plurality manifests, and that’s okay! It’s nothing to worry about actively changing, unless it’s been causing you and your members a lot of distress.

Sorry our response got long, but hopefully something here can help you!

[not-poignant]

hi pia how are you? im not a native english speaker and wanted to ask you, when you wrote that caleb is negging faber its not like flirting but manipulation? 😅 i tried looking up the definition. im rereading utr (my fav spin-off i am eagerly waiting for) and would an example of negging be when caleb comments on faber looking like an omega? i thought it was more him talking out loud tbh. or is it when he says about fabers sex toy, one that he didnt give up on? 😂 i really like him haha

Hi anon!

Yes! Your example is spot on - re: commenting on Faber looking like an omega. I'll give you (and others) some more examples, because I think it's definitely worth talking about in general!

I really like Caleb, but he doesn't always speak to Faber very encouragingly in Underline the Red, and some examples are here. He often gives back-handed compliments - things that make Faber feel 'lesser' while making it seem like a compliment at the same time.

It would be like if a guy said something like 'wow that's such a weird laugh, it's so brave of you to laugh like that in public.' It's not really a compliment.

While Caleb doesn't go that far, exactly, he definitely says some things that put Faber in an insecure headspace and keep him there:

‘You taste great,’ Caleb said. ‘But fine, shower then. You’re a prissy little thing, aren’t you?’ Faber had heard far worse his whole life. ‘Yes, I am.’

This happens early on, and Faber takes it as an insult that 'slides off him' (i.e. had heard far worse means he doesn't think it's great, but it's also not going to turn him off). Prissy is not a good thing to be called in general! It's a term for someone who is uptight, and annoyingly fussy - and usually effeminate in nature).

‘It’s pretty. That blond red, I like it. Pretty like all of you. It’s so easy to imagine you’re an omega.’ Faber didn’t tense, but the words slid through him uneasily. Was that what Caleb was doing? He couldn’t find an omega, so he settled for a slighter, leaner beta?

This - Caleb has no reason to bring up omegas as often as he does, and Faber already knows that alphas prefer omegas (and Caleb makes it clear that he prefers omegas). So he's already making it seem like in order to get through sleeping with Faber, he's going to pretend he is one -> This makes it sound like he's not really wanting to accept Faber for who he is.

He could say anything: 'I'm so excited to sleep with a beta' or 'it's my first time, you'll have to help me' or 'You're so pretty' but he adds on a little sting right at the end - it's so easy to imagine you're something you're not.

This kind of 'negging' implies that Faber isn't good enough as he is, while also praising him for being close to it.

And from Faber's reaction, we see he doesn't like it, and it makes him very insecure.

‘Your ass gives a whole new meaning to the word tight,’ Caleb said, sounding a little impatient. ‘It really is much easier with omegas.’ It was a criticism that Faber wasn’t prepared to handle...

Complaining/being impatient on this, and comparing Faber to omegas in an unfavourable way, while also using the compliment of 'tight' is another example of a back-handed compliment. It's not being 'tight' that Faber notices here, it's being told that sex for Caleb is easier with omegas.

There's a couple of other examples - Caleb complaining that it's going to take 'so long' to work open Faber (in comparison to omegas) etc. so the constant 'I'm comparing you to omegas and you're not always measuring up' is happening in the background.

Now don't get me wrong, Caleb also just straight up praises him! He calls him perfect, he actually says a lot of very complimentary stuff. But it's a lot harder to take those comments at face value, when some of his comments have been quite back-handed, or been the kind of compliments that aren't really just straightforward compliments.

This is combined with the fact that Faber wants to be an omega, and feels very insecure about not being one, so all those veiled kind of 'this is harder for me because you're not an omega' compliments hit Faber really hard. He's just pretty good at masking it!

I also think Caleb does some of this on purpose. I think while he's very nurturing with omegas, Faber's not an omega as far as he's concerned, he doesn't have to be as nice and attentive as he normally would for a one night stand.

Caleb and Faber have great chemistry, but they also have some stuff to work out between them. Caleb starts from a position of valuing Faber less because he's a beta, and Faber starts from a position of not valuing himself much, and so taking all of that very much to heart.

We'll see more of how this plays out in future chapters! But for all that their chemistry in the bedroom is really magical (like they are definitely a hot couple!), their relationship as it starts to unfold definitely has some areas that need communication.

They're one of my favourite pairings and the reason I've actually stopped posting chapters is so that when their story is ready (because it properly picks up after Underline the Black), I won't have to put it in hiatus during a really angsty part!! And I can write it more steadily :D

[peculiarbeauty]

ABOUT THE ROLEPLAYER

◈　NAME　 ⋯ 　you can call me rose !

◈　PRONOUNS　 ⋯ 　she / her / hers

◈　MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?　 ⋯ so my main muse will always be belle but i also write in the persona fandom. <3 i absolutely do have other blogs but they are currently inactive and i really have no idea when my activity will pick up again on them. this blog and my other most active are:

peculiarbeauty : you are here !! welcome.

fatedprincess : this is haru okumura. she is my little meow meow.

◈　RP PET PEEVES?　 ⋯ 　&.

people reblogging callouts for unjust reasoning between friend groups that really should stay within a friend group. people dogpiling one person and assuming the position of a good human being for that. people overall spreading vagueposts , gossip , and other slandering things. in my opinion , unless people are threatening your very life or are a sexual predator , you should keep drama between you and the person in question. sort it out !! stop dragging the entirety of tumblr into your feud. i only learned this big lesson about tumblr callout culture over a year ago.

burnbooks : gross behavior to make a blog centered around talking badly about people.

elitism : people who believe that they are the only one out there who can write a muse and try to slander another person who likes the muse just as much as they do.

copying people's blogs and then preaching about how people should stop stealing from you : it's gross and i just find it so so hypocritical that anyone can say that they have been stolen from when they straight up are doing it themselves. look in the mirror , please.

autoshipping and forceshipping : first of all , if i did not agree to a ship , please do not suddenly act like it's okay to ship with me. it's okay if we build up to it but instantly shipping makes me question where our threads are going. not everything is about shipping , we can write many threads together. i would like to write many threads together before we instantly ship as some muns have chemistry with their writing more than others. forceshipping is gross and being a victim of someone attempting to forceship with me pretty continuously as well as stalk and harass me for years .. i'm really really not okay with it.

◈　EXPERIENCE/HOW MANY YEARS　 ⋯ 　 i have been writing on platforms since 2008. i started on youtube back in the day ! i joined tumblr , however , back in 2015. i wrote in the disney fandom when it was CRAZY busy with blogs. i wrote for snow white very briefly around that time but had no true idea of how tumblr worked lol. it really was an experience. i remember roleplay groups were HUGE and there was one particular roleplay group in disney that was super popular. <3 i'll always remember that.

◈　FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT　 ⋯ 　FLUFF AND ANGST IS MY GO TO. i do not write smut.

◈　PLOTS OR MEMES　 ⋯ 　it depends on the day you ask me this question tbh. most of the time it is memes because i am a teacher and i am perpetually tired when i get home. it's hard to think after work for me. on weekends though ?? i say plots. i am in a good headspace at that time.

◈　LONG OR SHORT REPLIES　 ⋯ 　this ALSO depends. i am someone who can write a TON if the thread strikes me. like , angst ?? an ANGSTY long thread ?? i'm so there , girl. sign me up.

◈　TIME TO WRITE　 ⋯ 　i throw everything in the queue. i tend to find my writing habits existing more in the early parts of the day.

◈　ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES　 ⋯ 　if i said i was like my muse , i would feel like i need to humble myself a little. belle is an amazing , empathetic , intelligent woman. she is such a wonderful human being. am i a wonderful person ?? i definitely can work on that a little more. i will tell you though that i am very close to my father like belle is with her own. i love reading , literature is everything to me which makes it easy for book talk in threads. belle and i have a similar taste in stories too. belle and i are also empathetic towards people for better or worse. we love people and try to make the best decisions for them if they need advice or help. i just try to keep it real ?? there is a lot we can learn from disney princesses about how to live. so YEAH she inspires me truly. <3

tagging : @guujies / @adversitybloomed / @revoeu + you ! tagged by : @historiavn ( thank you my love ! )

[onward--upward]

(make me) misbehave was completed ages ago but obviously I'm still not over it because I NEED to get more lore on sky blue if there is any please and thank you. If there isn't any, maybe drop us a random fact you never got to include in the fic? Loads of love, thanks for making such a wonderful fic, xoxo, etc. etc. etc.

hello my friend!!! omg of COURSE i am always down to talk about make me misbehave!! (sorry this took me a while to get to i am the worst and i forget about things as soon as they’re out of my sight)

i’m gonna put this under a read more because i yapped more than i meant to :)

sky blue!! sky blue is a song that i have extra lyrics for, actually, so it’s a good one to ask about!!

since this was in the era where they were doing a lot of flying to meet up with each other, i always pictured alex writing this one on a plane, hence the “metal wings, metal hearts” line

i actually wrote the prologue scene, where they talk about this song on the phone, before i’d written most of the first chapter, so it was kind of fun to find my way to a place where that conversation would make sense for their relationship. it was actually a little tough, because while i was writing chapter 1 and 2 i tried to keep henry a little bit more reserved, seeing as he’s trying so hard to protect himself in this situation. but sky blue seemed like such a vulnerable song from alex that it required at least some measure of vulnerability from henry in return!! so establishing that balance with henry was one of the harder parts of writing those early chapters. (but i also think that mix of vulnerability with an attempt at a more restrained distance is one of the most compelling aspects of henry in canon!! so it felt important to get right!)

the little “misheard lyric” thing (ALT in the screenshot) was just for fun!! i like to think it really WAS just misheard by fans, but alex liked the “baby boy” version of the lyric so he started using it in his shows after he comes out <3

also little bonus lore!! unrelated to sky blue, but i was just thinking about this today, i think that after he comes back from his little hiatus alex drops an album called “unreleased” which includes old songs that he cut from previous albums for various reasons. including!! a couple of his depressing pining songs from their brief breakup

i am gonna link a song below because i’ve been listening to it recently and it feels very much like something alex would’ve written after henry left (like, “Since you left, I try my best to forget/I can't escape the love we made, it follows me/I can't escape from your love”???!!! also apparently i’ve been mishearing a lyric but in the chorus i always hear “how can i be so stupid/fighting and losing, fighting and losing” which feels very much like it fits ACD’s headspace at that time)

i try not to impose my own music taste on the story too much but the rawness of this song very much makes me think of their breakup era

ANYWAYS

thank you so much for asking me this question, i really appreciate the opportunity to talk about (mm)m!! i hope you enjoy my nonsensical rambling in response MWAHH

[pearlypairings]

annual writing self-evaluation

Thank you @justhere4thevibez for tagging! I woke up so early bc I'm still not adjusted well to the time difference on my vacation so I figure I could work on this to kill some time💕

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

Meet Me At Our Spot

Coffee and Contemplation *

Dear Donna,

painting (a masterpiece)

not a sound, but the wind

In the Shade of Aurelias *

all good dates begin at the cemetery

so much (for) stardust

there is a light that never goes out *

* = WIP

(I have a few more anon works too which were fun to try some new things with😄)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

OH this is tough… I think I have to choose two. I'm so proud of not a sound, but the wind for many reasons. I tried a lot of new writing techniques within that story, which honestly the first images came to me at 2am fever dream of Chrissy with short hair and distraught pushing her way through the woods in a blizzard. I didn't know where the story was going but once I got started I had so much fun. And right now I'm also very proud of there is a light! It's my rarepair fic that I've fallen in love with for chrissy x jonathan and it's been a true delight to meet other people in the fandom from that fic alone!

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Hmm I think painting (a masterpiece) is one that I would probably revisit to edit and change if given the option. I don't think it's terrible by any means, but it was really a self indulgent fic for me inspired by the song of the same name. I think I published it very quickly without letting it simmer for edits, so I would change some of the beats for pacing.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From not a sound, but the wind

“Do you comfort all your crying customers?” She let her fingers graze his palm as she accepted his makeshift tissue with a sad smile.

“Only the ones I like.”

Chrissy dabbed her eyes, praying that none of the mascara smeared beyond recognition. “You’re not gonna sell me anything, are you?”

“Who said that? If there’s any time you need pot, it’s now!”

A small laugh shook her fragile frame, warmth spreading across her chest from within. She folded the bandana into a small square and tucked it into her pocket with a sheepish grin. The last of her tears iced over the corners of her eyes.

“Coming from my dealer, that sounds a little like a sales pitch.”

Eddie fell back, miming an arrow through his heart and rigorously pulling the invisible weapon out from his chest. “You wound me. How about half off and twice as much?”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

ALL of my comments on there is a light are my favorites. People really enjoying my take on jonathan (a character that even I slept on and didn't really connect with until I saw things from his pov) and being really supportive of my WIP that's ending soon! It's really been such a joy to read all the lines each reader loved and the plot twists they had guessed right or wrong. It's been the best!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

2023 was a……year. Yeah, I think the fall was very hard because of some family hospitalizations that were very scary and exhausting. So I didn't have the energy nor the will for quite a bit after that to write much. I'm hoping 2024 is all for good health and better headspace.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

At the risk of sounding really cheesy, I really loved the scene in not a sound when Chrissy and Eddie are about to kiss. The two chapters with back to back pov were so much fun to write bc we get little glimpses into both perspectives of the situation and how wrong they interpret the other person's reactions. It's so cute and I didn't intend to write an eddie pov chapter when I started that fic, it just happened (and we got more Wayne which is always a plus).

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have a long way to go with this, but I think I'm finally shedding parts of my past where for work I had to write scientifically and directly. It's so hard for me to break that frame of mind, so I'm constantly going back in edits to add in more details and worldbuilding and mood setting beyond action and dialogue. In 2024, one of my goals is to do enough exercises where that flows more naturally in the drafting process.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

LOL oops! I sort of just answered that question, but another goal of mine is to continue to finish my beloved WIP Aurelias AND write a ton more for rarepairs to stretch my imagination.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Losty, @1lostsoul0fishbowl you are all of the above. So glad we found each other on this site and via Dear Donna,. It's been lovely getting to know you and I appreciate all the times you've read through drafts and ideas and insanity on my part. You da bomb diggitty 💣

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Definitely…. The break up in there is a light is loosely based on a real break up between me and my first high school boyfriend. The AUDACITY. But definitely many, many other little bits of dialogue or scene set ups are from moments in my life :) the life of a writer.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write it down. WHEREVER you are (unless driving lol). Whatever the idea is, the dialogue you thought of, the plot puzzle piece. Just write it down somewhere on your phone, in a notebook etc. Because you will forget it and it will frustrate you lol.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

2024 is when I'll be finishing Aurelias! Slow and steady because it's my baby and very setting/period heavy. And there's a few tricks up my sleeves for future fun projects that I'll be writing mostly for me (and maybe losty lol). AND I CAN'T WAIT! Rarepairs galore ✨

What a fabulous evaluation and deep look at the past year! Can't wait to see what 2024 brings 💞 happy new year!

[powertaco]

How do you write so much? I'm like struggling man. My brain is just like...do the thing. What is your secret? What mines do you pick at to unveil the whiterose?

Howdy, and thanks for the ask. It's late so I'm probably gonna ramble. I promise to try and address the question at some point lol.

----------------------------------------

So when I first started it took me months to write and try to perfect a single one shot. (One Good Turn/Maiden crack outtakes) (This was back in September of like 2021)

My next story after that (Pizza Au) it would take weeks to even a month between chapters.

I would get horrible anxiety (being a perfectionist is hell). Sometimes there would be days I would just not write. I couldn't handle it. I'd play wow, or just do anything else. Anything to NOT BE writing.

What didn't do was stop thinking of ideas. Even if I didn't write for the story I had a little notepad with ideas I would scribble on them. This didn't bother me because it was something that only I saw and it was quick notes. If they weren't perfect it didn't matter because, well I took 5 seconds to write them so who was gonna judge me on that?

My brain could process and handle that sort of thing.

The truth is writing, and telling stories has been one of those things I've always wanted to do, and over time I've built up a habit of writing, and making sure to take breaks on certain days, or if I'm just not in the mood. I would love to eventually write an actual fantasy book some day, but for now I write fan-fiction as practice.

The mindset I helped by realizing I wasn't really getting paid to write so if people didn't like it? Well I mean who cared? Yeah my screen name is out there, and yeah I get plenty of people who don't like it, or send me some 'interestingly' worded reviews.

As for what gets me into the headspace for goobers? The easiest thing is to think of some media you like, and are passionate about.

What book, game, tv show, movie, etc do you really like? Now since most of the story is already done for you. How can you insert two characters into it to make it your desired pairing.

This helps because you're already very passionate about it, and when you're passionate it makes it easier for words to flow onto the page.

For example, if you're doing a WR legend of Zelda Au, and you know everything about Zelda then it's easy for you to just get really into it, and before you know it you have a 10k first chapter, and you're wondering how it got there.

You're just like wow Weiss would be a great Midna, and Ruby a wonderful Link, and bam you're good to go. (Although you might change the ending a wee bit for more fluff but hey)

At first this might take some time to think on, but eventually if you do it enough you'll get the brainrot and every bit of media you consume you'll be like 'i can totally think of a X au for this.

It might also help to find a genre you find more easy to relate to, to start with.

If you like humor, then make a funny little one shot. If you like coffee shop au's? Well loads of people do.

If you're stuck at the end of a sentence? Delete the sentence you just wrote and try again.

If the word isn't coming to you, and you need a break? Take one. Sometimes I write a few sentences then watch a youtube video, then get back to writing.

Just to give my brain some time to think in the background.

I would also advise that once you do a few stories in a genre you're familiar with try a few in different ones.

This helps you not get pigeon holed and stuck in a rut down the line, and gets you to think about them differently and explore different facets of your characters.

Do some comedy, crack, and then do an angst, follow that up with video game au, and then romance, etc.

----------------------------

Some early habits you can do are just set aside a set amount of time to try and write a day. Maybe even 30 minutes.

If you can't think of a story think of what you do know and make it all nice and written out for future you.

Like 'oh coffee shop au' Ruby is the barrista summer is alive in this au, and she's in college etc. Do it for characters you think will be important to the story, and even a background character you want to make an appearance. You're not writing the story, not really, but you are doing work that can help give your characters life, and a background/voice when you do write it.

All told I was in the same boat as you being told 'just write' and I would clam up.

You might try just writing random details for your au or something similar.

You can get prompt ideas from other people if you can't think of anything. You can bounce an idea back and forth on discord with a friend! Heck read a few books to get potential ideas!

You can and will make mistakes. It's inevitable. A sneaky comma you forgot, a word in the wrong tense, but you know what I learned?

Doesn't matter. The fact that you're writing and creating far outweighs any of that.

You don't even have to post or show it to anyone. I have a stack of notebooks with tons of notes in them (google docs is pretty easy to use too if you don't like writing in a notebook).

As trite as it might seem, as many times as it has been said really the secret is just writing.

One thing I will say is 'comparison is the thief of joy'. Do not compare your starting works, or even any of your work to someone else.

If you compare your writing to someone who's been writing for a lot longer then I mean /shrug.

If you do post on ao3 or another site my advice is to not look at stats at all.

What does it matter if your fic gets only 50 hits and 3 comments? Those are 3 people who looked at your story and loved it enough to say so, and 50 people who were drawn in to read it in the first place.

That's a loooot of people. Just write for fun, and not to look at the stats.

This one is more on me, but once a story has been finished? Don't go back and rewrite it to fix or update all the errors. They make valuable time capsules of your skill progression.

If all your work looks like your current work then it seems like you're not improving. (In maidens I can see many errors, and while there's still errors in my latest story I can tell you there are less of them).

You will at random points get hit with 'oh wow I'm not improving at all. This is actually a false feeling brought on by you getting better and realizing all the errors that are there. It actually means you're doing much better than you thought.

This is from auriee on tumblr

So I guess to sum it up.

1-Try to establish a habit of at least attempting to write each day. I find myself craving to write most days but it was a buildup to get there.

2-Use media you're passionate about to start with to get you into the creation mindset, and just make small tweaks to it to make it easier at the start.

3-Don't worry about it being perfect, or your stats. Just write for you.

4-It's less talent and more hard repetitive work to get good at writing just like any other skill. You will have to put in a fair/large amount of time.

5-If you skip some days because you aren't feeling it then that's fine. Take the time you need but just make sure to get back to it.

Tiny Samus believes in you.

And so do my goobers!

For real though feel free to drop an ask on here or discord if you have any specific questions, or if I totally screwed it up. (Sorry it's late so my IQ is currently room temp.

[avelera]

There's a fake marriage fic you wrote from a while back and I absolutely love and obsess over it. In "Come live with me and be my love" how is Dream feeling about the whole "small town life"? Like I know we've established that the rumors are not the best, but have they enjoyed it at all? Are there any aspects in particular that they like about walking with humanity in that story?

Absolutely love your work btw!!!

So the "small town" aspect of "Come live with me and be my Love" is not quite done yet! In fact, the chapter I'm working on now is going to continue delve into the *mumble mumble oh god why didn't i ever name this place mumble* town life a bit more!

Gonna cut for spoilers and rambling!

I know you didn't ask about Hob but I'll quickly make an aside about him: Hob deliberately chose a really small, landlocked, agrarian town where he could sell books as a way to distance himself from the "shipping business". He figured that between going back to printing, which eventually brought him to "Mr. Fell" and bookselling, and going into business on his own from the urgings of Mr. Wentworth, that he'd found a quiet place where he could spend 5-10 years just... chilling. Being as self-sufficient as possible, in a low-cost rural area, where he couldn't hurt anyone, with a trade that he knows and that is about as far away from "shipping" as he could possibly get in terms of direct impact, and where he was nominally about as distant as one could be in the 1810s from a global evil that helped prop up the burgeoning British Empire that's about to explode in even further in the wake of the Napoleonic Wars.

Basically, I don't personally see Hob as a superhero setting out to right wrongs after he made his personal reparations, insofar as he could, to the people he personally wronged, but I do see him pulling inward for a time to reassess himself and the world at the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, when all of a sudden one man can in fact cause tens of thousands of people to suffer because of industrialized human trafficking, among other evils, without being a king or even particularly important, unlike Hob's early days as a bandit or a soldier where, yes he's killed and robbed and probably done all sorts of unsavory things but at least he did those on a largely individual basis.

So Hob's reasons for picking this town are, to me, sort of important for understanding what Dream does or does not get out of being there.

Anyway! I'm really passionate about Hob's headspace in this story so, to your actual question, is Dream enjoying this life at all?

Thing is, what Dream is going to enjoy about this life is coming up in future chapters. It's only been about a week (ugh) and Dream is still majorly reassessing a lot of his assumptions about what this bet would mean to take part in. He's falling in love with Hob on a level he never expected (he was entirely geared up for "fuck buddies" and that was it), he was expecting the human life part to be negligible and beneath his notice, only to discover it was far more complicated than he anticipated.

Dream's realizing there are consequences that come from his decision to pick Hob as a husband. He picked Hob as the human he'd most want to spend a year with, but in a "if I had to pick a human" sort of way. But Hob's immortality and friendship and good qualities with regards to Dream like his devotion and love, mean that Dream can't just fuck around, prove the point that he's fine with being human-ish for a year, without consequence. If he fucks up Hob's life, if he damages that friendship, that doesn't go away! Because Hob's not going anywhere!

So Dream is still much more in the, "Ok, what IS this year ACTUALLY going to be like, now that it turns out ALL of my assumptions about it were wrong because I deeply underestimated why Desire picked this particular setting and challenge for me and maybe possibly put more thought into planning this challenge, uniquely for me, than I put into my own plans for them if I won?"

To that end I will say: Dream just hasn't really thought about if he likes human life in this town in general yet. I'd argue that even by the end of this year, I'm not sure there's aspects of human life he's going to be particularly nostalgic for.

Thing is, this isn't Retired Dream AU. It's not like he's getting to skip out on work while he's here. Actually, Dream is doing all his usual work as Dream Lord but with 1/3 of the time to do it, as Hob sleeps at night, so if anything, he's even more overworked. This isn't a Dream who is bereft of powers, either. They're just dampened. So he's more annoyed at his limitations than he is having revelations about real human life. Because even Desire doesn't really want to live as a human, they're not doing this the way Death does it for a day, with totally memory wipe and no powers, it's at most a slightly depowered version of when Dream and Death went to the White Horse in the first place.

All the lessons for Dream have to do with Hob. Dream is seeing Hob in his (*nature documentary voice*) natural habitat: blending in as an immortal in normal human life. He's seeing Hob hold down a job, at a time when Hob doesn't have any sort of immortal reserves to fall back on, because he gave it all away as reparations and truly started again from scratch. So Hob losing his business isn't a laughing matter like it would normally be! Dream's having more time to hear Hob's life story, he's getting more opportunities for Hob to "come to his defense" and he's seeing just how much Hob cares and wants to do that.

Dream's real experience here, the thing he would look back on fondly about life in this town, is... the chance to see who Hob really is, and the realization that the person he meets at the White Horse is a very curated version of Hob, at best, and maybe not even as curated as Hob would like when Dream won't even pay attention to him for the full length of Hob's prepared report. He's learning what he means to Hob in this town, and what matters to Hob in general, and how Dream matters to Hob more than his job, or this town, or his livelihood, or any human concern. Like, it's not even close, Hob will drop everything to make Dream happy.

And that's a very novel experience for Dream, whose own wife didn't even move in with him when they were married!

And one last reason I'm not super able to say what this town means to Dream is, well, a year is a long time. A very long time to put up with small town politics. And the world is a very big place. And Hob may never get a chance like this again to live with Dream for a year.

So asking about the town is a little like asking about the starter zone in a video game ;)

[toxicanonymity]

Are you still working through requests of are you pretty much caught up on them?

Far, far from caught up. I'm fortunate and very grateful to have such a large, highly-engaged community here. I don't think there's ever going to be a "caught up" state for this blog since each answer begets more asks, which is amazing.  The link below from my header addresses why I don't plan on closing my ask box to catch up.  I appreciate y'all understanding and rolling with how I do things kinda differently.

About requests

Basically I float around in a growing pool of our combined ideas and kinda do what flows. I think that provides the most bang for our buck in terms of effort/time to quality/output. This can look a lot of different ways, examples: 

Lazaretto - The sex pollen ask was from late March and I liked the concept but started to think the moment might never strike until I got inspired by jack white's song a few wks ago. 

Tommy's hard day (MFM) - I had tommy x reader x Joel asks since early April and finally did one last wk based on continued popular demand. 

Aches - I think this ask was just submitted a day or two before I wrote it, same with the original free use and the ask that led to stepdad!Joel. I was in a good headspace for those despite having older ones in my box.

Movie night - I think I wrote movie night like same day bc it went so well with my thots at the time.

grisly details below

When I say far from it, I mean triple digits, bearing in mind some are similar and many are joelkemon-specific (50+ between night walks and raider?). Sometimes those don't fit the current storyline/direction or not yet. For example, stepdad sleeping with your mom (see post mortem below lol), pregnancy scare with stepdad, or night walks being a peeping tom again. But I hang onto those for future consideration (the Tim Rockford murder board is real).

Since there are so many in this bucket I tried answering a couple of them as "hypotheticals" and ended up with like 10-15 asks over the next couple of days reading those as canon lol (affectionate - LOVE the enthusiasm, curiosity, and ideas). This would be easy to roll with if it was a small detail instead of whether they're even on speaking terms, or if I hadn't already started the next parts of the story and could just "skip ahead," but I did that to myself. Anyway funny thing is I would have gotten there (/will get there) just not yet at the time so it kind of reinforces my mindset of not wanting to sacrifice quality/flow to catch up.

I'm really grateful to everyone who shares ideas and asks, y'all really make this blog (I think y'all know that though).

That being said, I am due for an inbox clean-up and may need to pass on certain general ones (not Joelkemon specific). Idk if it would be a faux pas but I could possibly see if other writers want to do certain ones i can't (ex: stuff I'm not familiar with like A/B/O).

[nostradamus0]

20 QUESTIONS GAME

Thanks for the tag @bronzeagepizzeria!! :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

39 works

2. What’s your total AO3 words count?

111,601 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

whatever i’m hyperfixated on lol. my more recent writing has been for Supergirl, Once Upon a Time, and Doctor Who

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

swing low, supernova, & come to carry me home

love me like you mean it

we'll still be here (when it's all said and done)

you remind me: that it’s such a wonderful thing to love

the other side (of a world without you)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes, but sometimes it takes me a while because of the raging adhd. i love the community aspect of fanfic, talking about writing makes me happy, and i’m always so grateful when people leave comments and i want to say thank you!! :) 

i saw someone say once that they don’t believe in responding to comments because they think people who do it are just trying to “inflate their comment count” or whatever and that is so depressing. i hope they see the light

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably i couldn't say: i need more time. that’s a real depressing fic, ngl. i remember i got really invested in writing it, even though the plot goes against everything i want for the characters

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of what i write is stupidly fluffy and/or sappy as hell lmao. but if i had to pick the most fluffiest, i might say what kind of woman loves like this.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really? i’ve gotten a few rude comments, but nothing super mean

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

no lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i’ve never written a crossover. i’ve written, and have in progress, fics based on other media, but no actual crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i'm sure they did a great job but i don't speak russian so i can't actually tell

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

yes, a very long time ago, and it’s lost now. the internet is not always forever. save things if you don’t want to lose them, kids 

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

what kind of sick question is this

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

all of them lmao. seriously though, i started a Finding Neverland supercorp AU and i dream desperately of finishing it, but likely never will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m first and foremost a poet, so i’m good with sentence-level things like diction and the way lines flow and sound. alliteration and i are besties. i’m also not bad with imagery/description.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue. endings. middles. beginnings. i struggle a lot with describing actions. did i mention dialogue?

honestly, when it comes to fanfic, i think my biggest weakness is my own anxiety. i have zero experience with romantic attraction or anything, so i’m always worried i’m doing a shit job portraying it and then i get caught up in my head.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i wish lol. i know bits and pieces of Polish and Spanish, but i’m only fluent in English. i’d love to find an excuse to use Polish, but that feels unlikely. i have a wip (that i haven’t touched in ages) that’ll eventually be supercorp but starts during Lena’s early childhood, and i’d love to use some Irish, but i have zero knowledge of Irish

19. First fandom you wrote for?

either Doctor Who or Once Upon a Time, i think? somewhere around 2013–2014? all that stuff is long gone, though.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

your voice is the splinter inside me. i poured my heart into that fic, and i’m still pretty proud of the result. i started a part 2, but i’m not in a headspace right now to finish it.

no pressure tags! @mulderscully @sssammich @benwvatt @pretty-pony plus everyone who wants to because i'm sleepy and can't think all that good right now <3

[nicnacsnonsense]

💖👀✨

For the fic writer meme

💖 What made you start writing?

Short answer: I was desperate for more Princess Tutu content.

Very long answer:

It is early July of 2010. I am at college, taking the Intro to Bio class during a summer session because the stupid class kept getting full up before my sign up window during the normal school year. I am feeling pretty down at the time -- that undiagnosed, unmedicated ADHD low key depressive funk. I was also watching a lot of anime at the time and decided to check out Princess Tutu, which looked like a sweet and fun pick me up.

By the end of the first episode, my mood had lifted. By the end of the series (26 episodes total) my entire brain chemistry had been altered. Princess Tutu was my new favorite show of all time (in some ways it still is). I rewatched it numerous times. I showed it to as many people as I could get to stay sitting after I told them it was called Princess Tutu. I bought the DVD box set for myself and watched all the special features.

Christmas break of 2010 I was home and rewatched the show once again. But it wasn't enough. I needed more. I could feel myself falling back into that funk. I went to the TvTropes page for Princess Tutu and clicked on the one tab I hadn't looked at: Fanfic Recs. I didn't read fanfic at the time, hadn't really ever before, and had the vague notion of it being kind of an embarrassing thing, but I needed more Princess Tutu.

One of the recommendations was The Heart of Everything by gemkazoni. I stayed up until 4am reading that fic (it is 84k long). Once again my brain chemistry was changed. I reread it only a couple days later and then created an FFN account expressly for the purposes of leaving a review on that fic (I didn't know guest reviews were a thing). And so of course after a stellar introduction like that I continued to read more and more fanfic.

Exactly 2 weeks later I was in the shower when the idea for a character study popped into my head. I kept running through the words over and over in my head until I decided I had to write them down and of course once I wrote them down I had to post it. It got 7 hits in the first hour which felt like the most exciting thing that had ever happened. And the rest is history.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I've not been in a very writerly headspace lately I confess. I've had a lot of ideas for AUs, but haven't really sat down to write anything in a while. One thing that I would like to do is circle back to the OFMD Galavant AU to write a couple more scenes so it ends on a happy place for them and then I can post it as a sort of time skip/snippet collection even if I don't write a full AU for it.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I'm really good at writing in character and giving a strong sense of the POV character due to a special technique (it's not a technique, my brain is just weird this way) that I like to call "method writing."

[happybird16]

Hi Tay! 💕

1, 2, 5, and 31 for the writer asks, please! :)

Hi Sage!! I'll try to find some to ask you, but I see you've already gotten most of the questions!!

1) What inspired you to start writing fanfiction?

I've actually been reading fanfic since I was something like 12? I was reading stuff i shouldn't have way too early and was even jotting down little stories in a notebook that I hid under my mattress. I'm pretty sure the smut I hand wrote at 12 was EMBARRASSING. I basically did that same thing for Levi, after getting really inspired by all the other Levi writers on here (including you Sage), and showed it to one of my irl friends. (It was smut too lol) and she told me to post it.

2) How do you come up with your plot ideas?

Most of my ideas for the short little drabbles come to me in the shower and I frantically write down as much as I can remember after. Other than that, fanart I see on Twitter is a huge inspo. Not even exclusively Levi fanart. I guess i'm very visual, because music doesn't work for me but art does.

5) What techniques do you use to create believable dialogue?

To be honest, I think this is my weak point 😓. The dialogue takes me the longest portion of time and usually takes several sessions until i'm happy. There's a certain headspace I can get into where I can sort of 'sink' into the scene and fully picture it, but I haven't figured out how to force my brain there. Sometimes I talk to myself out loud to see if the flow feels right or if the tone makes sense. It also helps me to have something on in the background while i'm writing that contains a good back and forth. Like, I tend to watch Youtube videos with a group of people with really good chemistry or a podcast.

31) Do you prefer writing from a single characters perspective or switching between view points?

I've actually only ever written in one persons perspective!! I've wanted to switch it up, but i'm not sure how to make it work in a seem-less way. I might actually try it in the longer think i'm currently working on (that i'm keeping a mystery on purpose. If I talk about things I end up stressing to much about writing it 💀)

[davidmariottecomics]

Pacing Your Work, Pacing Yourself

Hi again! 

It should come as no surprise that my updates are based on the things I'm thinking about at the moment and, often, what I'm going through. Something I still struggle with a lot--despite helping other people manage it for themselves 5 days a week--is pacing.

I tend to be a burst writer. When I get into the right headspace, I write constantly. Last week, I knocked out four scripts of different lengths--one's probably going to see the light of day in 2023 and the others... who know? Since then, I've got I think 2 half-written WIPs (that I plan on getting back to this week) and the early brewings of something else. 

It feels really good to be so productive, even if the majority of it never does end up going anywhere. I had been having a real dry spell and now I feel out of my funk. I know it won't last, though. Burst writing for me is having alternating off-and-on periods where, times like now, I knock a ton of stuff out, and then probably in about a month, towards the end of this year/beginning of 2023, writing much of anything at all will feel like a major struggle. It'll be half-chore, half-insurmountable barrier that I have to overcome. Time will pass and I'll get back into writing and have another burst and another bust and so on and so forth. 

But knowing this about myself and paying a lot of attention to what has been working for me, I've actually maybe found a solution to my personal pacing issues in how I pace themselves. 

Your Story is as Long as it Needs to be 

One of the absolute hardest things to know before you start is how long your story is supposed to be. Granted, you're rarely starting totally blind. If, for example, you've been asked to pitch a comic to a company, they're usually giving you an idea of your limitations up front, be it page count, issue count, or a combination of the two. There're exceptions--particularly when you're coming in with an original project rather than being asked to pitch on an existing title--but if you aren't told a length up-front, that's a discussion that'll happen quickly. 

When you are asked to put a story together, you're outlining to that length. I find a lot of the best pitches I read pace to about a 1-2 paragraphs per issue for the overall synopsis and then between like 25 sentences and/or 5 paragraphs per issue breakdown. With the high level overall synopsis, keeping your explanations short focuses you on the major incidents that forward the plot beats. Using my own work as an example--the big beats for Wreckers: Tread & Circuits issue #1 were the Wreckers are broadcasting a stunt that gets interrupted by Mayhem and the Wreckers go to Velocitron to investigate. The next step, the issue breakdown, comes out to be about 1-2 sentences describing the overall action of each page and is something I often use when going to full script to create a basic pacing. 

And while those are hugely important skills to have when you're working for someone else, when you're doing work for yourself, what I've discovered is it can be a lot easier to not go in and impose a limitation on yourself for the story. To let it flow as it will and breathe and you'll know when it's done. I said earlier I wrote four scripts last week. The longest was 18 pages, I think, and the shortest was 1 page. Both are a full script, but with very different demands. What I haven't really done yet is go back and edit any of them. I think there might be a 20 page version of the 18 page one where I let a couple things breathe more. Or maybe it goes the other way and has a couple extraneous pages that I can cut. But by writing it out to what felt like the proper length in the first place, I have room to expand or contract to make it best version of the story possible, while not losing the story in trying to make it fit a certain page count. 

Why was the story 18 pages? It's part of an exercise I was trying to purely write an incident as a story. That is to say--it's a weird little one-shot with characters who've never been seen before and who'll never be seen again and it's only covering the information needed for this moment in their lives. One of the reasons that's helpful to me is by getting rid of the need for lore or a balance between a current incident and the set-up for the next (A/B/C plots), it focuses my writing and helps me get words on paper (or, rather, screen). And I do think there's something to covering the main incident first and then building up around it when you are writing with those other things in mind, because they are inherently meant to be secondary. It also lets me play with the pacing of the specific incident. How much action has to happen on a page? Letting a gag play out for as long as it needs to. Figuring out what the defining sub-incidents are and making sure those are hitting the page turns. Even looking at things like spaces where as a writer, I don't want to define the exact breakdown that much because I think a page will benefit from the artist taking the lead. 

It's Going to be Different for Everyone �� Building off of that last point, I have a lot of experience with comics where for whatever reason, the artist is working at a different pace than the writer. Not just the ability to hit deadlines and how much work is being done at a time, though that's certainly true too, but the way in which an artist in drawing out a page might take their own liberties to adjust the pacing and flow of the action. Maybe they add an extra panel or two of fighting because it looks cool and they had a good idea. Maybe something slow and wordy is taking too long and it works better to info dump in a single panel, rather than breaking it up into two or three panels. These tend to be totally reasonable choices and part of working collaboratively. 

By the same token, audiences have different opinions of pacing. Some people are going to be a fan of your pacing. Some aren't. But that doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong unless you aren't telling the story you're aiming to tell. I'll leave it at that for now, but I know as well as anyone else that certain people have very certain tastes for the length and format of their comics. 

Pacing Yourself

Would you believe that when you're enjoying your work, you're more productive and it's easier? Yeah. Crazy, right? But it's true. 

I said earlier I'm a burst writer. I knock out a bunch of stuff quickly and then kinda burn out for a bit before I can get back to it. Obviously, there are motivations that can help you get across the finishline--payment, external deadlines, people like me emailing you every day asking for updates--but when you're working without those, you have to pace yourself. I hope I'm not going to hit my bust soon. I hope I can take rethinking my personal pacing into consideration when I'm working on original projects because that seems to be more engaging for me than forcing my way through to a goal. And I hope some of this might be helpful to you too when you're figuring out what pace you can work at. 

[montyterrible]

I just found out today that there's a "sensitive content warning" on my first (full) post on the main blog, about Harmony Korine's The Beach Bum (2019). I'm not entirely sure why, since there's nothing too graphic in there--just discussion of the film which contains some brief NSFW subject matter. Seeing as it's at the forefront of my thoughts right now, however, this seems like a good time to revisit/reflect on that piece a little since it's kind of a life milestone for me.

I had drifted away from blogging and from writing in general for a while, but a combination of watching that movie (about a writer) and finding out I'd lost access to my old blog from my early 20s got me back into it again when I couldn't just go back and re-read some of those old pieces on a whim like I wanted.

This was also relatively early in the COVID-19 pandemic back in the summer of 2020, so I was feeling a bit isolated, weird, and desperate, and that feeling also led me back to blogging. Consequently, some of the early pieces I wrote are now an interesting time capsule of my thoughts and feelings at the time. I had thought at one point to keep something like a journal so that I would accurately remember what I was actually seeing, hearing, and thinking as that period of time inevitably becomes just another matter of historical record, but even though I failed with the journal, I will always have "A Portrait of the Artist as an Optimist"!

Here's a favorite paragraph or so (containing spoilers for the movie):

"So what’s the point of all this, then? I suppose on a purely surface level, it’s about the comedy and maybe (if we dip just below the surface) about putting the audience in Moondog’s headspace. The movie makes frequent use of montage and often drifts hazily from setting to setting. Even straightforward conversations are not handled in a straightforward manner. They’re often made part of the previously mentioned montages, creating a sense of fragmentation in the storytelling that, when coupled with the equally hazy literal imagery of smoky, neon-lit nights, creates just the sort of drifting high on the screen that Moondog is experiencing himself almost constantly. As I said, it’s essentially a character study, and to that end, even the incidental visual language of the film tries to put the audience in the protagonist’s shoes.

. . . .

"Another perspective: Perhaps The Beach Bum is a subversion of the rampant pessimism in film. It frustrates us, the audience, because it refuses to do the predictable thing, and the predictable thing in question is almost always something negative. Why, after all, does the discovery of infidelity need to be a massive conflict that might lead to revenge? Why do a father and daughter need to have a rift if they fall out over something? I suppose that those who really, strongly dislike the film might say that the problem isn’t the optimism exactly but the eerie excess of it: The way that simply everyone loves Moondog and how the stars align for him is unearthly.

. . . .

"When asked late in the proceedings about the source of his success, Moondog floats a number of flowery, poetic answers before ultimately settling on the simple truth (to him) that he likes to have fun and live life in the moment.

"One particular line from this exchange that really stuck out to me, though, is this one: 'I’m a reverse paranoiac. I’m quite certain the world is conspiring to make me happy.'

"I felt that these words really captured the spirit of the story and its whole defiance of expectations. It simply takes the traditional trajectory of a lot of films (which, with their carefully-crafted plots containing tragedy after tragedy, would certainly seem to be confirmation of the suspicions of a pessimistic paranoiac that the world is deeply fucked up) and then spins them in the opposite direction, arguing instead that the world could alternatively offer only beautiful accidents."

That last line in particular is one I love to come back to. It feels a little *suggestive hand motion*-like to say, but there's something really affirming about writing, like I guess I suspect there is in other art forms as well, where you can look back at something like your best self from the present-tense perspective in the future where you might not feel so hot. When I re-read things like "arguing instead that the world could alternatively offer only beautiful accidents," I feel like maybe I do sort of know what I'm doing after all, sometimes.

[justonemorechapternicercy]

Can you love someone you've never met? Someone you never talked to in real life? Percy wondered as he logged in to his profile and was greeted with the bright red sign of a new message.

His heartbeat quickened, he knew who it was from. Angelofdeath, the person who can build him up with a few words, and tear him down by not reacting immediately to something he sent.

Percy sighed. He knew he wasn't in the best headspace, he wasn't sure of his own feelings, own thoughts. He just knew he wanted to be close to his friend, he wanted to see him, compliment him, love him, kiss him and hold him close. He hated when Nico didn't talk to him for days, he hated the jealous churning of his stomach when he saw Nico interacting with others.

Shaking his head in an attempt to get his mind out of the downward spiral, and clicked on the message.

Angelofdeath

lol

no, I don't think you want to go there

because it's clear I would win

italian cuisine is there *shows the top of the mount everest* and american is somewhere there *shows the mariana trench*

anyways, i hve to go

sleep well

love you ♥️

Percy couldn't stop smiling, but at the same time, his heart felt heavy and painful.

"Love you too," he whispered into the silence of his room.

Seastar

pff… you clrly never tsted the NY style pizza

that's just 👌

beats your tiny no carb no grease thing

good luck for your exam!!!

ilytoo ♥️

He noticed that he got an ask too, from a familiar anon.

anonymous asked you:

I’d be happy to keep you warm ;)

-🖤

It was probably a reaction to his previous post where he complained about the weather. He was coming home from school, and even in the warmest, fluffiest coat he owned he was freezing, and he just had to make it into his followers' problem too.

He didn't really expect this, but he should have. As always, he briefly entertained himself that maybe his favorite flirty anon was Nico, but he shook it off. Nico probably would have commented. It was probably one of his followers teasing him or maybe they were too shy to flirt off anon.

He answered back with an

"Anytime, babe, I'm here, waiting for you ;)💙",

and closed the tab. It wasn't like the one person he wanted to talk to was available. Either he was in the middle of his exam, or celebrating his success with his classmates.

Thinking back the first time he interacted with the Italian, it was funny that they reached the point where they felt so comfortable with each other that there was no day - except for those days one of them was too depressed to log in - they didn't talk.

He still remembered that ask from a righteous Nico after he posted "Steter>>>>>Sterek".

Angelofdeath asked you:

sTetEr iS bEtTeR tHaN sTeEk HOE DARE YOU?! (yes, it's hoe, because you are a HOE!) I followed you because your TW edits are 👌 but your taste… 😬

Percy remembered the indignation he felt as he wrote a 3k+ reply to why Steter was better (because of Peter's V-neck, obviously, but also, because of Peter and Stiles are both fucked up similarly).

He got back a similarly long essay on why Sterek was better, and that was the start of their little competition.

As they tried to one up each other with their respective ship, they started to talk. And love the other ship too. And soon, instead of being the worst enemies, they became the biggest supporters of each other.

Nico became a very important part of Percy's life. Bad or good, Nico was always there for him, being the loveable sarcastic asshole he became so dependent on. Their interaction, while still involved fandom talk, turned into just talking, sharing stories and feelings. Nico told him about growing up with his mother and sister who died way too early. Percy talked about Gabe, the stepfather he had when he was young, how he left both physical and emotional scars on him. They bonded over having absent fathers and shitty school lives. Percy was the first person Nico came out and Percy still felt touched and soft at the knowledge he made Nico feel safe and comfortable enough to do so.

He opened the hellsite again, not able to resist the temptation. There were two notifications - a message and an ask.

He opened the ask first, knowing he would spend the rest of his night talking with Nico.

Anonymous asked you:

I wish you'd mean that…

-🖤

Percy stared at it, uncomprehending. The anon was always flirty, teasing… lighthearted. He liked the black heart anon, they were lovely, but he never thought…

He thought he was the only one having an unrequited online crush. He never thought somebody had an unrequited online crush on him.

He didn't reply. He couldn't. He kept it in his inbox, hoping that in time, he would know what to do with it. For now, he clicked on his messages, finding a string of swear words, keymashes and threats in Italian still coming from Nico because he dared to mention the "abomination that has no right to call itself pizza".

Percy laughed, already knowing he would get this reaction. He knew Nico. And that was why he was afraid of doing anything. He knew Nico, and he wanted to keep knowing him, being friends with him. He didn't want to lose him.

But maybe one day… maybe one day he'll have the courage to say something to him- but until that, he was content to be his friend. Because being in love with Nico wasn't overruling his love; the romantic feelings just complemented the platonic ones. And maybe he would get a clue on what to do with his flirty anon. Because as much as he loved Nico… he kinda liked the anon too.

[obstinaterixatrix]

2017 Fic Retrospective

yo I’ve been really looking forward to this, so much so that I basically drafted this weeks in advance. because with the onset of p5 and being trapped in rarepair hell I. went hogwild. plus I finished a bunch of stuff that have been drafts for literal years. all in all, 16 fics, 66k - not too bad for someone who doesn’t like writing longfic. alright here we go

1/26

Human After All, or, the Universal Ineptitude that Comes with Sentience, Homestuck, 2.3k words

Rose, Kanaya, and their date in the retcon timeline

glad I started the year right with rosemary. this was actually written to celebrate my eight-year fic anniversary. Eight years from that date is when I posted my first fic to ff.net. Wild. But actually though people don’t really focus on Rose and Kanaya and I just wanted to write something that highlighted some Rose’s issues while giving her support.

3/16

Fortune’s Wheel, Reversed, The Adventure Zone, 9k words

Sloane is going to do whatever it takes to figure out what happened to Lieutenant Hurley, and how to get her back.

I’ve been so in love with the idea of a roleswap with Sloane and Hurley that I really wanted to write a two-shot for femslash feb. which turned into a three-shot. which turned into a four-shot. one month and five chapters later,

5/6

interlude: a meditation on the concept of love, Persona 5, 2.7k words

Yusuke thinks about love. Yusuke buys some lobsters. The two are related, actually.

this is a side story for fox out a forest, but it was technically finished sooner, so

5/17

A Fox out a Forest, Persona 5, 17.5k words

Ryuji and Yusuke get to know each other.

ah. there it is. my descent into rarepair hell. this was the first time I was the first fic in the tag. it’s kind of funny - the format of ‘shadows canon events except It’s My City Now’ is pretty close to Action and Reaction, which was the first fic I posted onto ao3, which also took about a month to finish. I made a lot of friends through that fic, actually. this is like. a persona revival. persona renaissance. buckle up folks you’re gonna see a lot of persona on this list.

6/3

Catharsis, Persona 5, 1k words

Ryuji’s got bruises. Yusuke’s got questions, and some concerns.

Ryuji’s Rank 9 Is Bullshit. also this was the first time in a while I actually took a prompt, in a roundabout way. someone sent an ask and four hours later there it was. it was pretty serendipitous, since it hit right at the writing mood. hoped you enjoyed the sudden fic anon.

6/27

harbor, Persona 5, 2k words

Ann was always going to fall for Shiho; it was only ever a question of when.

ANNSHIHO ANNSHIHO ANNSHOHK ANNSHIHO AMMSHIJO ANNSHIHO AMMSHIO ANN AND SHIHO ARE IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7/9

chromatic conversations; a study on the art of photography, Persona 5, 1.3k words

Ryuji and Yusuke talk about art stuff.

god I could go on forever about this one. it’s hands down the most creative fic I’ve ever written, considering I had to use three different art programs for it. I used word to edit photos. I wrote a bunch of it while I was sick enough that I couldn’t leave the bed. lex and chip helped a bunch with art stuff. I bought a cactus out of embarrassment. this took a lot of effort but I’m really happy with it.

7/11

A Friend in Need, Persona 5, 1.7k words

Makoto may be Eiko’s best friend, but Eiko’s life mission is to slap some sense into her. Just once. Y'know, to get even.

Eiko: the only straight persona girl that exists. wow, I just, love Makoto and Eiko being friends. 

7/13

Fatalistic Humor, or, Jokes to Make Post-Mortem, Homestuck, 7.4k words

‘Head over heels’ is an appropriate turn of phrase because falling in love is exactly like throwing yourself down an endless staircase of inconvenient emotion.

cowritten with @dragonomatopoeia. hoo boy, this had been a work in progress for a *while* (almost a year) but with that, me & air’s collaborative davekat novel has Reached Its Conclusion. We’re Free. there’s a lot of language I’m really proud of in here - fun turns of phrases and super out there descriptions. that’s what’s fun about writing for homestuck, honestly.

7/14

Life & Likeness, Persona 5, 2.3k words

Yusuke finds himself in an aggravating art rut, one that specifically centers around a certain someone.

(it’s Ryuji)

yusuke fic is just me heavily projecting my art minor experiences onto him and finding a way to add Romance

7/17

Shared Summer, Persona 5, 1k words

Yusuke and Akira relive neither of their childhood memories by going beetle hunting.

This was a last-second bday present for sam. I’m extremely tunnel vision abt the ships I get invested in, but sam’s got good yusuke thoughts and we’ve both commiserated over unfortunate yusuke characterization so I wanted to give him ship content that was Definitely His Kinda Thing.

8/17

(un)productive streak; a not-so gentle reminder to take an effin’ break, man, Persona 5, 1.2k words

Ryuji enters the studio, taking in the scene. The scene being Yusuke lying on the floor, in front of his easel, staring listlessly at the ceiling.

“Uh,” Ryuji starts, after a significant pause, “what’s… what are you doing?”

“Wallowing in the end of my artistic career,” Yusuke replies.

this *was* gonna be my entry for the foxskull zine but lmao oops I ended up 200 words over the limit

8/22

paradise valley, lost, Wolf 359, 600 words

It wasn’t supposed to be a test. It was just supposed to be an end.

(Leave it to Lovelace to make things complicated.)

I love eris. once again camped out in my niche content desert. save me.

9/27

Pointless Subterfuge; A (not so) Helpful Guide to the Art of Self-Sabotage, Voltron, 7k words

Lance has a terrible, terrible secret he can’t let anyone know, ever: he thinks Keith is cool.

(it’d be a lot easier to keep secret if he didn’t go around telling every alien he met)

this was in drafts for 8 months and I didn’t get anywhere until I completely overhauled the one scene I started the entire fic for. I do really like the end result tho. nice work me.

11/8

a storm, a shelter, Persona 5, 1k words

Yusuke and Ryuji share an umbrella.

My entry for the foxskull zine! the first zine I’ve ever participated in! my writing’s actually been legit printed? wow. I had to hold onto it for a while - since june, I think - which killed me a bit bc I’m always so. instant gratification lemme post right now immediately

11/23

reprise, refrain, Voltron, 8k words

When the castle picks up an Altean distress signal, Allura desperately hopes to find surviving Alteans.

She does - just not in the way she was expecting.

for this one I asked the writer of a post if I could fic their idea. when it comes to gen stuff it always gets such little reception that I’m comfortable going Ah Yes. The Ignorant Masses Disdain My Masterpiece. No Matter. It’s Great. god allura deserves to be more valid. god mirrorverse was so wasted on canon.

last year I noticed I didn’t write any femslash or gal-focused fic throughout the entirety of 2016, so for 2017 I made the resolution to write more of that stuff. 6 compared to 0 is a good step up. I don’t think I’ll write as much this coming year without atlus’ good-yet-irredeemably-terrible narratives to fuel me, but my resolution is: keep writing more girls. Never Again Shall There Be A Year Without Gal Content.