#it's a failure of our society and education that we don't understand how important it is to protect the public spaces

[ame-to-ame]

public transit... *collapses to the floor*

[bethanydelleman]

do you have any theories on why wickham turned out the way he did? his background sounds humble but not dirt poor as i know steward was a really valued job at the time. and as the elder mr. darcy liked him, he probably had a better life than plenty of boys. correct me if i'm wrong but i don't recall any mention of a mom or siblings, so darcy was probably his main childhood companion. it's just horrible to think that over the years he went from seeing darcy as a friend to someone he could ruin. and he was prepared to ruin georgiana's life, not just take all her money but cause a scandal so she might not ever get married again. and if darcy hadn't found lydia he'd probably just leave her where she was with no way of getting home and destroyed the bennets. like why? everyone was nothing but nice to him his whole life and all he does is hurt them and enjoy doing it. when you think about it kind of sounds evil.

From what I understand, Wickham was a failure of a system whereby a rich person would choose someone poorer to patronize. We can see other examples of this in Emma (Jane Fairfax & Harriet Smith) and especially Mansfield Park (Fanny & William Price).

The idea was that the rich would find someone worthy of improvement, sponsor their education, and give them the ability to raise into the gentry class. This sounds like what Mr. Darcy Sr. tried with Wickham, but in this case it was a failure. What ended up happening isn't that Wickham was grateful, but he ended up feeling entitled to the life of a Darcy. The novel's implication is that Wickham had a bad character, which education could not improve, and that Mr. Darcy Sr. was deceived in because Wickham had a veneer of decency.

From Darcy's Letter:

Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge; most important assistance, as his own father, always poor from the extravagance of his wife, would have been unable to give him a gentleman’s education. My father was not only fond of this young man’s society, whose manners were always engaging, he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is many, many years since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities, the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of his best friend, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which Mr. Darcy could not have.

Wickham's account:

“We were born in the same parish, within the same park; the greatest part of our youth was passed together: inmates of the same house, sharing the same amusements, objects of the same parental care."

In Mansfield Park, Sir Thomas talks about how difficult it will be to maintain the distinction between his daughters and Fanny, their adopted niece, and when I think about how Wickham turned out, I think this is meant to be taken seriously (even though Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris screwed up massively):

“There will be some difficulty in our way, Mrs. Norris,” observed Sir Thomas, “as to the distinction proper to be made between the girls as they grow up: how to preserve in the minds of my daughters the consciousness of what they are, without making them think too lowly of their cousin; and how, without depressing her spirits too far, to make her remember that she is not a Miss Bertram. I should wish to see them very good friends, and would, on no account, authorise in my girls the smallest degree of arrogance towards their relation; but still they cannot be equals. Their rank, fortune, rights, and expectations will always be different. It is a point of great delicacy, and you must assist us in our endeavours to choose exactly the right line of conduct.”

Fanny feels grateful for what the Bertrams give her, even though it's scraps of a real education. Wickham ends up feeling entitled, even though he is "liberally bestowed" and that may have been the problem. He was treated too similarly to Darcy and felt that he was a Darcy, only to find out the patronage didn't go as far as he wanted.

Wickham comes off to me as one of those people who is ALWAYS innocent in his own mind, someone else is always the cause of his misfortunes (he's like Willoughby in that respect). So when he tells Elizabeth about how he lost his inheritance, I think he believes what he is saying. He does think Darcy cheated him somehow even though he was in the wrong. Darcy becomes the tyrant because Wickham refuses to be the villain of his own story.

In addition, I don't know if he would have seen Darcy as a friend. Darcy is one of the few people who can see through Wickham and a con man would hate that. Wickham's dislike of Darcy may well have started because he hates that Darcy can perceive and judge the real him.

[eyrieofsynapses]

Not to mention: as the older generation, we set an absolute shit example when we mock younger people... and we are among their most important role models. We're closest to their age and share the most life experience with them, and they recognize that! They see us as the "cool people"! As a kid, who did you look up to more--your parents and older teachers, or the cool late-teens/early-twenties youth leader/camp counselor/whomever? Who did you pay more attention to? Because in my experience, it's usually the latter. The generation that comes directly before theirs tends to be the one they feel closest to. That means the sense of rejection our cruelty creates can be even harsher than a parent or teacher's reprimand.

And please don't say stuff like "oh, they don't understand how a computer works, how stupid are they?" Mocking people for a lack of knowledge isn't good to begin with, but it's particularly bad with kids, because that's not their fault. It's a failure on the part of their parents and the education system. They are children. They're smart--do not underestimate kids, they're brilliant!--but they don't have the same level of life experience. Why is our instinct to mock rather than help, hurt rather than teach?

As the older generation, it is our job (no, not one we asked for, but part of living in a society) to build a better world for everyone who comes after, and that includes being supportive of youngsters. Most of us tend to feel embarrassed by our younger selves, and that lashes back on kids, because we feel ashamed of the very traits we shared with them once upon a time. It's not only an act of love to push that aside and embrace kids in all their "cringe." It's an act of self-love, of embracing who we used to be, too.

watching gen z and millennials make fun of gen alpha has been torturous. "But they're actually stupid" 1. theyre middle schoolers 2. isn't that what older gens said about us? don't you remember being 11?

it truly is just "impulse reaction to cringe <- has not yet unlearned shame"

the cycle continues let me out of here

guys. guys I think we should kill cringe culture

[dionyrtal]

I have something to get off my chest if it's okay to share with you. I am a classics student in Turkey. Finished my 5th year in the major at the age of 22. Failed a couple years and it looks like I won't be making it before my time runs out. And seeing everyone graduating hurts so much. I found my passion for the major pretty late and my heart sinks for the missing years. I feel like an utter failure and flop. Want to proceed in academia but I just feel like I'm not good enough and got a lot of burn out and impostor syndrome going on

i think we as a society have a really distorted view of education. most of us start university around 17-18. we're practically still teenagers who do not know how to navigate life or make important decisions. we are told to choose and stick with a major (a "profitable" and "practical" one nowadays, no place for humanities especially) at that age and it is a really heavy burden for such a young soul. it is sad that most adults expect this from us. and even in 22, our brain is still developing and not fully mature and we are told to stick with one thing and be consistently perfect at it. it's just so SAD. i do understand the feeling of being "late" and "left behind" but it is, at least for me, absolutely amazing that you know where your passion lies now. it is never easy to figure out stuff about life or yourself.

i try to remind myself that i am always trying to do my best under changing circumstances. i succeed at times and i fail most often. i do not have resources on feeling burnt out or impostor syndrome, but journaling always helped me understand what i am really feeling/thinking vs. how i am expected to feel/think.

i hope you can feel better soon and pursue your dreams in academia! truly wish the best for your journey <3 and if you need to get things off your chest, i'm always here. i don't have the answers most of the time but still. i'm here. <3

[yanderenightmare]

do you mind minors reading your nsfw content?

No.

Minor is a loose-term. Where age-restrictions differ from country to country.

The sexual minimum age in Norway is at 16 and not 18 as it is in many other countries, so here it's not uncommon for us to discuss intercourse both at school with teachers, with parents and friends way before the age of 16.

In fact, in school we are often encouraged to ask questions regarding these topics. The basics of intercourse are taught to use in first grade at the age of six, where further sex education is introduced to us in fourth and seventh grade when we are between the age of ten and thirteen.

Sex-education then being held a classroom with both the girls and boys, involving both the anatomy of the human sex of both the female and male body, a crash course in what condoms are and how to correctly use them, what lube is and it's importance when having sexual intercourse, and lastly how to sexually stimulate both sexes, meaning how to jerk of, which again were instructions for both sexes. Open discussion was also held, where we could freely ask question regarding certain myths we had the misconception of or things we simply were curious about.

In my opinion, from being raised in Norway where sex is not something restricted to an age, it's my belief that sex and such matters are things one should discuss and experiment with from a young age. You're not suddenly equipped to handle everything at age eighteen unless you've been schooled or schooled yourself.

Whether that be alone in the comfort of your own room with a screen of either fiction or porn, or in a classroom, or with friends or someone you trust.

Most important thing is you don't ever get yourself into dangerous situations or agree to things you're uncomfortable with.

Learning should never be dangerous or frightening. And only you can decide when you're ready. Whether that be age ten or eighteen varies from person to person.

I personally lost my virginity at the age of fourteen, and that is by far not an uncommon number to experiment with such things in our country.

This might sound foreign and unthinkable to some, but that's simply culture and norms.

So, no. I do not mind "minors" reading my nsfw posts. Where I have enough trust in the coming generations to realise what they can and can't handle and should or shouldn't read.

Personally, I began reading sexual fanfiction when I was ten. And the beautiful thing I realised about it was that you don't commonly stumble upon something you've not intentionally searched for.

What I do mind however, is people misunderstanding their responsibility for themselves on the internet.

Both the blurbs/request boxes and trigger warnings act as preparation for you to make a decision of whether this is something you should/want to be reading or not.

That decision is made by you and you alone.

Whether you be a "minor" or an "adult", it matters not.

That being said.

My fiction is also obviously directed towards an 18+ audience, where the stories include 18+ characters.

Where yes, I do believe some minors stumble across things that both confuses them and/or frightens them, which again I believe is a result of poor sex ed in both schools and by parents. Which then truly is a failure in society, where social norms have deemed discussing sex under the label taboo, which is sad because we're giving up an opportunity to discuss such a confusing frightening subject in a safe space and leave it to be discovered through more turbulent ways often leading people to feel ashamed and alone.

So yes and no. My blog is made for a mature audience.

However, people mature differently.

So, personally, I don't mind if you just turned eighteen or you're younger, as long as you have made a conscious decision that you're ready to be here.

Plus, though I understand why people do it, I feel like actively shooing away "minors" is harmful in its own right.

Putting up a warning that the content is 18+ or preferably R-rated is good and all, even though I personally don't, where I simply state that the content has NSFW-themes with other TW when need be.

But I think actively going out of ones way to ban minors from ones blog is unhealthy in and of itself. Or for example writing Minors DNI.

Because then you're not protecting anyone, neither yourself nor those under the age of eighteen, you're simply alienating minors who feel as though they've matured perhaps quicker than some of their peers. It's simply feeding that feeling of shame and painfulness of being alone, when in reality it's perfectly normal to have awakened sexual urges as young as age seven, sometimes even younger.

And no, I'm not saying seven-year-olds should be reading nor looking at heavy pornographic content, I'm simply saying that if a minor has sought out special themes such as noncon or yandere etc, they should not be shamed for their curiosity, and that they've already established an understanding of what it is they're looking at or reading.

However, if you're donning your blog with warnings such as 18+ or Minors DNI or actively banning blogs that haven't got their ages in their bio because you want to avoid haters in your DMs, I simply suggest blocking them.

Don't feed into what they say, don't read it nor reply.

Often they're simply out to make people feel bad, when it's their own fault for not reading into warnings or the guidelines and information that clearly state whether the blog is something to their liking or not.

Some people are just out to play innocent and dumb and make trouble where there actually is none.

And though they abuse the fact that they're "minors", I don't really think it has much to do with them being but a few years younger than eighteen.

[kyrieanne]

you said something last night about the good place and the incantation, and I don't know what that means but I would very much like to if you can explain it.

::claps hands::

Necessary throat clearing I: I do not think Christianity is the thesis statement of The Good Place; Mike Schur has been extremely clear this story is not an argument for a particular philosophy. I’m not arguing that anything about the show is particularly religious, but rather that there are some natural analogues (from my point of view). The show is about philosophy, which has a natural overlap with theology at large. I’m not a pastor person, but I do have the same education as one. I’m also trained to look closely at narrative “texts.”  Thus, here we are.

Back in 2012, Helen Sword wrote about nominalization – she coined the name zombie words because it’s easier to remember – which is when you take an adjective (implacable) or a verb (calibrate) or even another noun (crony) and add a suffix like ity, tion or ism. Think: implacability, calibration, cronyism, heteronormativity, etc.

Academics, scientists, - and philosophers/theologians eat nominalization for breakfast. They litter their writing with them. At best – nominalization help us put a name to big, complex ideas, and at worst it can be a tripping hazard to communicating with clarity. Sword cites a pretty famous essay by George Orwell Politics and the English Language, written in 1946.

Orwell warns how language isn’t just political in its content but in its form as well. He quotes a passage from the Bible, Ecclesiastes 9:11

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Then Orwell wrote a modern version:

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

Sword and Orwell argue that concrete language – that tethered to our five senses – is clearer. It endures, evocates, and energizes your audience. Nominalization has its uses, but should be used sparingly when communication – always a two-way street – is the goal. Cluttering our language with these zombie words is the best strategy for anyone who wants to talk, but cares very little about being heard.

I think The Good Place is an example of a story told in concrete language - though its a visual medium, and it is very much on purpose. But I’ll get to that...

First, let’s define the term Incarnation...Simply put, it is a theological assertion that Jesus Christ was both fully God and fully human. It is one of those key beliefs - take it away and whatever you’ve got isn’t Christian; This isn’t one of those down in the weeds, who cares? theological arguments.

Second, let’s talk about why the points system on The Good Place is fundamentally broken…

Remember Chidi’s breakdown earlier in the season with the peeps chili?

In that scene, he describes 3 main approaches in the last 2500 years of western philosophy to this question: how to live an ethical life?

·       Virtue Ethics – (think Aristotle) There are certain virtues of the mind like courage, generosity, etc. One should develop oneself in accordance to those virtues. The emphasis is on human reason or our minds – what do I do with my mind

·       Consequentialism - Is it right or is it wrong? is based on the consequences of that action - how much utility/good vs. how much pain/bad? The emphasis is on the result instead of the action - what happens to your [neighbor’s] body?

·       Deontology - There are strict rules that everyone must adhere to in a functioning society; an ethical life is identifying & following those rules. The emphasis is on the action instead of the result - what do I do with my body?

(::screeches:: I’m VASTLY over-simplifying here.)

Each philosophical system Chidi outlines makes a priority choice with regards to my mind, my body, and your body. Each takes the mind, body, and other’s bodies into account, but each prioritizes one over the other as the loci – or starting place/lens - from which to answer the question, how to live an ethical life?

The Good Place uses Doug Forcett as the prime example this dynamic because he’s as close to a control group you can have in the story. He is the story-telling embodiment of this tension:

In any ethical system you cannot separate your mind (what you think/believe) from your body (your actions in the real world) or from the bodies of others (the consequences of those actions). 

Please hear what I’m not saying - that these ethical systems are wrong. I am simply saying that none of them completely account for how three parts are inter-connected. 

Doug’s attempt to live an ethical life is endlessly, hopelessly tangled in this ethical web. This is the catalyst for Michael to go to Accounting because he thinks the Bad Place is rigging the points system. But when that proves to be untrue – he jumps to another theory. He makes the case to the Judge that that modern life is so vastly complicated and fraught with moral quandaries that living any sort of morally positive life is impossible.

Yet, it’s total hubris to think our way of life is worse-better than the human condition 500+ years ago. It’s a fetishization of a single era.  Even if we’re arguing that that era damns everyone. It simplifies and romanticizes the past and that is very dangerous because that sentimentality lets us lie to ourselves. We can excuse all kinds of human behavior by slapping the term modernity on it; our world made us do it. It’s a great example of how nominalization can be dangerous. 

I’m confident the show knows this and Michael’s current theory will be proven to be as hollow as the ‘Bad Place is rigging it’ theory. Michael does not know how but he knows with the core of his demon-being that the merit-based “points” system is fundamentally broken.

Let’s talk about systems & power for a moment…

Last year I did some training with the Race Equity Institute for work. They started by talking about systems. We can all name systems:  weather and water systems, the systems of the body and universe, economic and political ones, etc. Social systems – inter-connected people – are maybe the messiest systems there are.

Two important characteristics of any system are 1) the “parts” of the system are inter-connected and 2) the system self-perpetuates, i.e. the power lies in the inter-connectedness of the parts. Your mind & body – as well as the bodies of others – are part of an ethical system. They are inter-connected and there is power in that inter-connectedness.

An ethical life is always bound up in the systems to which we belong, and those systems create mindsets. Yet, the power of those systems is not in the nominalization:  racism, sexism, classcism, etc. we use to describe them. Power lies in the inter-connectedness of the parts – here, people. The last two years of the Angry Cheeto have made that particularly plain, I think.

Enter Big Noodle & the Incarnation

Jason is the character version of from the mouths of babes – his point with Big Noodle is you can’t judge what you don’t know.

So, the Judge goes down to Earth. 

That is what prompted me to think about The Good Place and the Incarnation.

Remember, the Incarnation is a theological assertion who God is, specifically who Jesus Christ is. The church spent a long time arguing about it (like in the hundreds of years) and they did because how do you define God? In the world of The Good Place, where we’re dealing with philosophy and not Christian theology, that question is analogous to how to live an ethical life? because who God is – in the Judeo-Christian tradition – is the starting place for what the meaning of human life is.

(Here I’m going to delve into a little Christian theology, but I PROMISE I have a reason.)

Did God create Jesus in the same way God created trees and elephants and the stars? Was Jesus the highest created being of God? A sort-of demi-god? A movement called Arianism argued this, but in the long run it was rejected because it didn’t fit with the Bible. There were a lot of opinions and theories – I’m skimming over A LOT, but in the end the church basically punted.

The Good Place took Michael through a conversion-like storyline in Season 2 when he became a demon who cares for others – his humans & Janet. Since then he has pursued the question of how behind the points system. He knows it shouldn’t have been possible for his humans to get better after they died, which undermines the whole argument for an earth-bound points system. But they did. If that is true, then the system itself is not the right answer to how to live an ethical life?

Remember: You cannot judge what you do now know.

At the Council of Chalcedon (451), it was decided to define God’s nature by what we know God is rather than what we know God is not. It’s called the Chalcedon formula, and it begins with we confess. In Christian tradition, confession is a different kind of knowing; it is rational, but it is also embodied. One can only confess what one knows because it has be proven to be true in one’s own life. It’s not about having the right answers, but saying - to me this is true.    

The formula states that Jesus is God and Jesus is human, two natures without confusion, and how that exists we don’t entirely understand. It is a union of the human and divine that is not a blending of the two to make one, like the combination of two primary colors to create a new one. Jesus’ birth, life, and death is not somehow less human because of his divinity, but what comes next – the whole rising from the dead thing – definitely is divine. Even writing that sentence makes me itch a little because the Incarnation is an assertion that you can’t divide Christ’s biography into part 1: human, part 2: divine. Rather, the body of Christ – the very nature of who he was, is, and will be – is both human and divine.

The Power of Both/And

Think about this: what confirmation do we have there is a Good Place?

The only characters we’ve seen that come from there are the not-people from The Book of Dougs. Were they angels? Anti-demons? I don’t think we’ve been given a definition. Why should we trust they are what we’re told they are the first go-round? We already know characters are not always who we’re told they are. Further, the judge doesn’t reside in the Good Place. The accountants don’t. We have a door to the Good Place that only non-humans can pass through. Okay, but have we seen anyone pass through it? Assuming there is a Good Place assumes that all the other kinds of characters exist to be part of the machinery that is the human after-life. Demons torture. The judge judges. The accountants tally. Janets help. 

You’ve got a system of interconnected parts:  humans, demons, Janets, needlenoggles, a judge, accountants, etc., and you’ve got this points system in which they all play some part. What Schur & co. have quietly been doing with Team Cockroach is showing how these different types of beings are all changing:  Janet falling in love, Michael’s conversion to caring for others, and the humans changing after they died. None of these things are supposed to be happening in that system.

I wonder if Schur & co. are playing another sleight of hand in their story telling akin to the Season 1 reveal. What if the world of The Good Place isn’t either you belong (not just humans either, but all kinds of creatures) to the GOOD PLACE or the BAD PLACE.  What if - instead - they are making an argument that how to live an ethical life is not about getting the answer to the question, but about seeing the world (here the story-world of The Good Place) in new, transformative ways.

In that REI training, the facilitators asked everyone if you were proud to be an American. This was the beginning of the training. It was one of those questions that you don’t know the right answer to, but you do know what the wrong answers might be. No one said anything. The trainers started listing things they like about living in America:  public education, running water, our national parks, etc., and then they listed things they didn’t like:  history of slavery, the Flint water crisis, etc. They said for the work we were going to be doing in our training they wanted us to resist language of either/or – you are either a racist or you are not. You either love America or you don’t. Rather, they said, embrace the power in both/and language. You can both love the systems in which you live and work, and you can recognize their brokenness, pain, and hurt. You can be both angry at and thankful for your community. That, they said, is how we transform ourselves and our communities. 

The both/and shows up in the Incarnation too – it is a theological assertion that Jesus was BOTH human AND divine. Jesus’ very body rejects that the laws of nature are either/or. Either them or me. Either good or bad. Either/or is a way of seeing the world that is human – we do it as naturally as breathing - but it is not the only way to see. There are more humane ways to exist.

I don’t know what story Schur & co. are telling, but I struggle to see where they are going to land if there is a Good Place without turning the story into a confession of a particular ethical or religious system. Because if there is a Good Place you’ve created an either/or world that needs a system for how it works. 

Rather, they’ve spent a lot of narrative time doing exactly what the church did when they tried to define God – a lot of guesses that tell you want God is not, but don’t clarify what God is. Michael & co. know that Doug Forcett didn’t get enough points despite his ascetic-like life. They know that demons and humans and Janets can change in ways they are not supposed to be able to. They know that they love and care about each other. They know what they don’t know. 

It is counter-intutive, but the best way to communicate big, complex ideas is in concrete, small language. It’s language that is incarnated. The Good Place is a half-hour sitcom about philosophy, and it does that by telling small, incarnated stories. You’ve got 4 humans and they died. What happens next?

But you also have a demon and a Janet. You have a system that appears to not be working. You have two places – good and bad – but actually you don’t. So already that either/or dichotomy is breaking down. There’s the Medium Place and despite the room temperature beer and medium snacks, I wonder if the fundamental geography of the show is a red herring. What if the demons and Janets and all the other kinds of beings are just as caught up in a system of either/or that is patently false? Without a Good Place, the geography of the world isn’t good or bad. It just is. Kind of like our own world. It’s something in between, both joyous and painful. What if the story we’re being told is about how these particular characters – Team Cockroach - challenge and upend a false ethical system in which all creatures in the story are caught?

How to live an ethical life? is a big question that is the wrong question. It posits an either/or world. Human life can be reduced to that, but it is always a reduction based on a lie. We are capable of choosing to see life’s geography - its systems, quandaries, and mysteries - through both/and language. The Christian theology of the Incarnation reminds me that not having all the answers is not only okay, but natural. Life does not occur by knowing the rules and then following them or not. Good living is like good language. It is concrete, small, and embodied. Somehow, it also touches on things bigger than ourselves like love and friendship and the ability to not only change - but transform. 

Why would a fictional after-life be any different?

[repost-this-image]

...And the same person has responded again. Clearly, either I am explaining something wrong, or this is a fellow queer person who doesn't understand that agreeing with homophobes on issues of sexuality and gender identity is generally a bad thing.

So let's break this down.

LGBT is not a kink. This is true. However, LGBT people having kinks is also not an evil or disgusting thing. Many people have kinks. Kink is just human inventiveness and creativity applied to sex instead of, say, sculpture.

I'm sorry that you don't understand that wearing a leather harness in public is NOT THE SAME THING as having actual, literal SEX in public. But it's not. You know what you tell a kid who asks about that man wearing funny leather stuff? "Some grownups like to dress up funny sometimes." Crisis averted. You don't even have to mention the sexual aspect.

Being LGBT is, literally, a failure/refusal to conform to a world that says that everybody MUST BE cis, heterosexual, and allosexual. That is what we do not conform to. You are bisexual. That means that, like it or not, you do not conform to the idea that everybody must be allocishet. As long as society continues to be cisheteronormative, we are not conforming. Because that is what society wants us to conform TO. You don't have to see yourself as some kind of rebel to recognize that you don't fit into the allocishet mold.

Let me repeat myself again. To our enemies, you and I and "respectable" queer folks like Pete Butigieg, are exactly as much "disgusting, degenerate horndogs," and in exactly the same ways, as the people who go to Pride in leather gear or full drag. To them, a man walking down the street, perfectly normally, and holding hands with another man, is a sexual act. When you say "Don't do anything sexual at Pride, think of the children," the homophobes are assuming that you mean that gay people existing in public is bad and sexual and should not happen, because that is how they see us. Nobody is fucking in broad daylight. Nobody. If you see people actually fucking or showing off their genitals while they are at Pride, let me know because I have never seen or heard of that happening. I would be deeply angry if it did happen, because Pride is also not about having sex in front of people.

The first Pride in 1970 (the first anniversary of Stonewall) was not a fun family event. It was a literal riot against police brutality and laws against our existence. Until the 90s or so, Pride was always a riot. People do not bring small children to riots. Some Pride events may be family-friendly, but children are not the target audience of Pride. It is generally expected that if you're under 18 and at Pride, then you are old enough to have learned our history and the ways in which our history is bound up with the history of kink. It is assumed that if you are at Pride, you are mature enough to understand that even though kinky people like to wear leather during sex, and these people are also wearing leather at Pride, that they are not having sex at Pride. Again, please learn our history because you are embarrassing yourself.

In fact, here you go. Here are links to educate yourself, person whose username I am hiding for your safety. Because you seem to live in some fantasy world where nobody is homophobic or transphobic, and I assure you, an entire political party in the US is working very hard to try to make us illegal again. Pick one and get reading.

This one is a paid course, but looks to be well worth it if you can afford it:

And lastly, a current example of why this shit matters:

…And @renthony said it better than I did.

I just want to say it again for the teens out there:

The “groomer” rhetoric is not new.

I remember when all LGBT people were generally considered to be pedophiles. By most other people. I was y’all’s age.

When my parents were teens, two men holding hands in public could be arrested just for that, because it was “lewd and lascivious behavior.” Having gay sex was a crime. Dressing as the “wrong” gender was a crime. These things were considered pornographic by nature.

Leather and kink were featured in the first Prides, to flout society’s rules. To say, we’re here, we’re queer, and you cannot destroy us.

Again, until I was about 10 years old, there were still sodomy laws on the books in the United States.

And when I was a teenager, when Matthew Shepard was murdered (look it up, but be warned, it is gruesome), most adults still believed that gay men were pedophiles by nature.

The far right doesn’t just hate us. They want to go back to the days when children did not know about us, when adults could go for years without knowingly encountering a queer person.

They want every last one of us dead or in prison. Every single LGBT person in existence. Because to them, saying “some kids have two mommies or two daddies” is pornography. To them, saying “I’m not the gender I was assigned at birth” is pornography. You may as well be giving them a play-by-play of How To Have Anal Sex With Another Dude.

So when you act like the leather pride flag “isn’t a real pride flag,” when you say “no kink at Pride,” you are telling the far-right: “You were right. We are a bunch of filthy degenerate horndogs who shouldn’t exist in front of children.” You are playing directly into their hands.

Fuck that. I don’t need other queer folks doing our oppressors’ work for us.

If you are not for the LGBT community, warts and all, “freaks” and all, then you are against us.

[survivingsober]

Addiction: The Stigma, The Facts. The Hope

Everyone has heard of addiction, but what exactly does it mean? How do you know if someone you love is struggling with drug or alcohol abuse? What are the most effective ways to help someone who’s battling addiction? Addiction affects millions of people in America every year, and it’s important to understand what it really means, how it affects both the addict and the loved ones around them, and how you can help yourself or your loved one to get better.

Stigmatization - Why It's So Common

Stigmatization is one thing that is the UGLIEST about this world, YET we are ALL guilty of it in some way, shape, or form. We ALL make assumptions or judgments from first glance, but what happens when something innocent goes to far?  The Oxford describes stigmatization as the action of describing or regarding someone or something as worthy of disgrace or great disapproval. I want to add that it's of a certain group or type of people that have something in common. Some would even go as far as to call it.. DISCRIMINATION. What separates the two though? Stigma is a discrimination against because of an obvious and distinguishing mental health issue, according to many websites- so many I refuse to give one all the credit! You can see one here .

 Stigmatization creates more fear and does more harm than ever should be caused. People have lost their lives because of our failure to educate ourselves better instead of judging.

Common Misconceptions

We have been taught that addiction is a lack of will power or thee individual is characteristically flawed. Today, I want to clear up that myth and all the ones like it. It's true that people are scared of what they don't know or understand, and let me tell ya, even as a recovering addict- addiction is still hard to understand. Addiction makes people do and say things they normally wouldn't, sometimes to degrading degrees! It's hard to imagine something having that strong of a hold over you that it changes your entire moral build. Thus, stigmatization of addicts is born. Most individuals who are addicted harbor a strong regret inside them and they become depressed and because of this they will refuse to seek treatment. Being an addict doesn't mean you are a bad person by any means! Some of us make decisions that are very poorly decided upon and that alone is a stigmatization of it's own. Just because ONE person who is addicted made a poor judgment, doesn't mean every person addicted will do the same. One thing about being an addict that I can say NEVER changes is your heart. If someone has a genuinely good heart, no addiction in the world can change that. Society is too judgmental and let me say this, if we had to walk around this world ONLY able to see the real hearts of people around us.... Well, this post wouldn't be written, that's a fact.

Some Shocking Stats on Substance Abuse

According to Drug Abuse Statistics [3]drugabusestatistics.org, This is Americans 12 years old and older for these statistics back in 2020.

 - 50% of people 12 and older have used illicit drugs at least once.

 - 700K Drug overdose ending in death since 2000 nearing 1 MILLION!

 - The Federal Budget for drug control was $35 BILLION in 2020

 - 25.4% of users 12 and over have a drug disorder.

 - 24.7% of those who have a drug disorder have an opioid disorder or prescription drug disorder

 - 138.522 MILLION Americans 12 and over drink Alcohol

 - 570,255MILLION use tobacco or Nicotine Products (vape)

What Is Addiction?

No matter where you get the definition for it, addiction is so much more than just what your dictionaries tell you in their nice little bow wrapped boxes. The books say addiction is a chronic, relapsing brain disorder in which an individual continues to use substances or engage in activities no matter the harmful, destructive consequences. I can't argue with that very much, but there is always more to the story than what they like to tell ya know? You don't hear the stories of the agonizing physical pain a person is in without using that substance. The many many trips to the bathroom they take because their stomach is messed up so bad they can't even use the bathroom! The feeling of being stuffed in a small box unable to move or even breathe because the anxiety is so bad. I can VIVIDLY remember the very first time I knew I was "dope sick". I didn't have any idea why I wasn't getting better only getting worse day after day. I laid in my grandparents bed, praying to die because I was so miserable. That was when I knew I had a problem after I had managed to get back to my house and somehow ended up getting something and doing it, I WAS CURED INSTANTLY! That feeling knowing what I had really done to myself hit me. I was 19 years old and only been on my own (out of my grandparents' house) one year.

Nobody talks about when you feel so bad that you would literally do anything to feel better. Crying and begging your mom/grandma to just make it better; I can only imagine their feelings knowing they can't do anything. I was always the type of person who felt like a brand new person ass soon as I knew I was about to feel better. My grandpa use to tell me it was all in people's minds who were addicted. I hated to hear him say that because I thought I knew better because of the physical part... Of course back then, I would've ran my head through hell fire before I would've owned up to him that I was anything short of an angel, but he knew better. I'm still mending that relationship along with many more to this day, 11 years later.

 

Understanding Addiction

One thing is for certain, nobody asks for any of this to happen to them. I didn't, I thought I was just having some fun and I would be okay. Addiction creeps up on you, like a thief in the night. You think a time or two won't hurt and before you know it'[s 10 years later and you HAVE TO HAVE that drug you were playing with just to feel NORMAL! After so long of using your body gets a tolerance and you don't even get high anymore. Around that time is when you can safely say- You are in trouble! That one or two little pills or whatever turns into 10 or 12 a day just so you don't feel bad. The last two years of me using I can't tell you when I was ever high. I was just a normal person doing normal things only if I didn't have my drug of choice I wasn't moving, eating, cleaning, nothing.

Then of course ya know when you feel bad, you dang sure don't care how ya look either. I remember my brother looking at me one Christmas and the words that came out of his mouth just- they still break my heart because I can still see the look in his eyes when he said, "that's not my sister." I didn't look like his little sister anymore. I didn't dress up, I didn't do my hair or make up. I looked horrible. I was ashamed to tell anyone because I knew how they would feel toward me and I was right for the most part, but they never gave up on me. It takes a lot to try to understand anything from someone else's point of view especially something so destructive. It's not something we choose to grow up to be. Some people just don't know anything else because they were exposed to it all their lives. Society has got to do better towards addiction and stop pretending like people wait their whole lives to jump out in the streets and do what they do to get high. I promise you, that is NOT AT ALL how it came to pass. Not one person will tell you when they were 5 they wanted to be a prostitute or a heroin addict. These people don't need nor want your judgement- they need your help and support. To know they are not alone and someone cares is all an addict wants in the world.

Ending the Cycle of Addiction

There IS hope for people who are enslaved by addiction. It's a tough fight, especially if you're stuck in a never ending cycle. The get clean for a few months and then right back to using and failing into old habits is probably the most irritating and most sad part of all to me. It took me what seemed like forever to get clean and stay clean without going back to my old ways. It was like I would see the light and after i got so close someone turned the lights back off on me. I never could figure it out and I felt so defeated- I just wanted to give up. But the thing about it was, I wasn't changing anything else: my environment, my circle of friends, nothing. It took my husband and I moving 400 miles away from home almost flat broke for it to stick. You see, the people and places I was hanging with and out at were triggers for me. The only way to avoid relapse is to eliminate the things that trigger you to use to start with.

Emotions play a big role too. So, I had to find what triggered me and replace it with a better and healthier habit. Meditation helped me keep my mind clear and not stay so stressed out along with coloring. I will always say that my biggest downfall and worst trigger is my mental state- my depression is very severe and sometimes I end up having Britney Breakdowns and those can go on for days! Coloring saved my life! It kept me grounded and relieved so much stress and anxiety. I really recommend it to everyone who asks me how I managed to avoid relapse. Your diet along with exercise is another great way to break the cycle. Not everyone is going to have the same triggers so it's important to find out what makes you want to use and replace using with a better habit so you can defeat that trigger. I encourage everyone to replace their old friends with a better support system - you can still be friends with the old people BUT from a far at least till you can get a hold of those triggers because it's only going to take ONE slip up and that's it. Addiction is so easy to fall back into. And the people you use to hang with that are still using, they aren't gonna care that you are clean - that doesn't affect them so don't think they are going to have some great respect for you and your situation. Sadly this is one fight your friends aren't going to follow you on. That's why it's detrimental to your sobriety to replace them with a great support team, people who do care about you and your well being.

I know finding these triggers are hard and sometimes you won't even realize something is triggering you, so I have put together a little worksheet for you to help you figure out what your triggers are. I hope you enjoy the worksheet and find it helpful in your journey! I do hope this post helps someone who needs it especially those who don't know very much about addiction. Until next time my lovelies and never forget, YOU ARE WORTH YOUR RECOVERY! Never let anyone tell you any different!

trigger worksheet can be downloaded here!

[recoverymatters]

It's roughly our last month at school and projects, thesis, and exams are all piled up and I have no motivation to do anything because all that's in my head is "Why do all this? I'm going to kill myself soon anyway." And then I try then I fail then I rush my work and people always think I'm procrastinating or being lazy but the only thing I'm really trying to do is survive. I've been stuggling with this for so long now. I tried to tell people, but they don't understand. No one ever does.

Hi there,

Well done for getting this far! 

No wonder you’re struggling, anyone would struggle with having to manage projects, a thesis, and exams let alone having suicidal thoughts as well. I can definitely see how overwhelming it is for you. 

You are not lazy.

Not even in the slightest. In fact, you are the complete opposite - you have gotten yourself this far despite how hard it has been, that is not laziness, that is persistence and resilience. 

Rushing your work, failing, etc, is not your fault. A humans ability to carry all of these things all at once is too much, it is breaking you and causing you a lot of stress. 

Sometimes, when things pile up we feel we will never see the end of it - however, this is not the case. You could start making a do to list of all the smaller things you can do to help to list go down, then break up the bigger projects into small sections and tackle them one moment at a time. Make sure to take sufficient breaks in between. If this isn’t manageable now, that is okay! You do not have to break yourself in order to get this work done. It does not mean you are a failure. I know this is important to you, but, your life is more important. 

There are many people out there who have been in the same predicament and thought that they could carry on and on, and eventually get to a point, like you are where it is all too much and the suicidal thoughts start creeping in. This is where you need to take action and start slowing down before you act on these thoughts. 

I do recommend you speak to your teachers/professors and tell them you need some extra help/time with this. Tell them it is too much and you’re overwhelmed. I know some people do not understand, but some do. So please keep trying. 

If you don't feel comfortable doing that, then speaking to a doctor or a therapist now would be very beneficial. Please let them know that you are thinking about killing yourself and that your school life is piling up and it is getting too much. They may be able to offer professional support for this. It might not stop everything that is going on, but it can help to ease the pressure and might make it feel more manageable. 

Most importantly - please remember, that whilst all of these things at school are important. They do not define you. You are a spectacular, irreplaceable human being with or without these grades. 

As a society, we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and ensure we succeed in everything we do - however, this can be to the detriment of our health. 

As you have one month left - It is important to remember to take it day by day. Rather than looking it as though you have so much to get done by the end. Think just about today - tell yourself you will do once piece of work today and be proud and reward yourself when you have. Looking at it on a day to day basis might reduce the overwhelming feeling of having too much to do all at once. Start ticking things off as you go and make sure you schedule in time to relax!

I also want you to tell yourself:

I can do this

I am worthy of support

This hurdle in the road will not see the end of me

I am intelligent, irreplaceable and wonderful

I have gotten myself this far, I can also pull myself through this

I deserve to relax and take time for myself to breathe 

I am an amazing human and deserving of life

How long have you had these suicidal thoughts for? This is quite serious, and you need help and support for this. 

Please do not kill yourself.

Please know that I am here, you are not alone and I believe your struggle. I can see how hard it is for you right now, however, I know you can get through this. 

Never force yourself to do anything that you know you cannot manage, it doesn’t mean you never will. But, right now, if you have a day when you just need to take it for yourself, then do it. It is okay and nothing to be ashamed of! 

I am so glad you are trying to survive and I can see how amazing you are doing. Give yourself some credit - you are doing better than you think. 

Remember your work will always be there, there are other chances to do it if you want - but your life, your life is fragile and precious. Take care of that, first and foremost. 

One month to go and this stress will ease, this overwhelming pressure won’t be there forever. You can do this. 

Take it day by day. 

These links may help you:

Support for students:

http://www.studentminds.org.uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/studenthealth/Pages/Mentalhealth.aspx

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/apr/04/students-mental-health-where-to-get-help

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/student-life/#.Wume1dXwboA

Online support

https://www.imalive.org/

https://www.7cups.com/

https://turn2me.org/

http://www.suicidestop.com/suicide_prevention_chat_online.html

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

http://www.prevent-suicide.org.uk/find_help.html

Apps

StayAlive

Whats Up?

Calm Halm

Hotlines

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Hold on friend 💛

Thanks

RecoveryMatters

[jocelynbass1991]

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Save A Broken Relationship

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[deguardian-blog]

I welcome you to the modern generation, a computer age, the 21st century, the insanity coeval, where everything or anything you can possibly think of is possible. A generation where reality is slowly becoming an illusion.

Where we mistake knowledge for wisdom, destruction for improvement, deception for compassion, manipulation for affection and passion for love.

Where we go to schools to learn pride, and become better liar's.

Where If you can't convince them, then confusing them is the only option.

Where the western educational system is used to keep people inline and under control.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where people are rated by what they have and not what they have done for the betterment of humanity. Where people still don't understand the difference between equality and equity. Where no one truly what equality, yet all are yelling for it. Where religion helps separates humanity from uniting and people completely depend on technology instead of each other.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where almost everything has changed for the worst, and people find it hard to accept that virtue is fading away. Where sacred things are no longer sacred, and people accept the truth only when it favours them.

Where we have a price for everything.

Welcome to the 21s century. Where abortion is no longer evil or a sinful and women can do it as much as they like without any regrets. Where butt enlargement is better than having a simple natural body figure. Where breast, noise and lips implants make women feel more beautiful and attractive.

Welcome to the 21st century, where fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.

Where we knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.

Where we cling on to the images of people from when we knew them best, forgetting the fact that they too can also change.

Where searching for the truth is easier,  but accepting it is always hard.

Welcome to the 21st century where men marry their fellow men, women marry their fellow women, someone marries his or herself and people get marred to animals, plants, dolls, furniture's, even to a dead person, in fact anything that arouses them sexually.

Where some children will never enjoy and understand what it really feels or means to have a male father and a female mother "the real package as it was really designed to be."

Where they deprive children the chance to willingly choose the part to take in life.

Where love is just an excuse to commit all sorts of shameful, abominable, and disgusting acts, while get married is nothing more than fulfilling all righteousness.

Welcome to the 21st century where finding a new house is easier than rebuilding our home. Where we use our God giving talents to outsmart, destroy, suppress and brainwash each others, instead of using it to make the world a better place.

Where we blame everyone else but ourselves for the evil that have swallowed the heart of humanity.

Welcome to the 21st century, where humans literally act and think like animals, and the wisest amongst us have completing forgotten the true meaning or the values of life.

Welcome to the 21st century where our leaders are the greatest enemies that we face. Where leaders vote themselves into office. Where we have personal government, instead of federal government. Where our governments kill hundreds yearly all in the name of justice, peace and freedom. Where the true meaning of democracy is "government of some people, by some people, for some people. Where democracy was invented to help fool the people into thinking or believing that their votes and opinions count's or matters."

Where the first casualty of any war is the truth.

Where millions die for the sake of one man's greed.

Where hundreds of noble and innocence men & women are brainwashed into believing, that sacrificing themselves just to save one evil, bloodthirsty man or woman, that calls his/herself a leader is doing the right thing.

Where it's on heard of, that a leader purposely sacrificed himself or any of his family members for the good and betterment of his country.

Where leaders and generals always cowards away in some far away bunker and give useless orders that will be the death of many good soldiers in the battlefield.

Where the will and wishes of the people are never ever the same with that of their governments.

A world where humanity prefers lies to the truth, chose to be controlled and manipulated than to have real freewill, favours pain and misery to genuine happiness, vote the oppressors in, yet keeps complaining about them.

Where the oppressed masses embrace fear and division, but underestimate how powerful they can become if united under one vice and are acting as one.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where death is preferable to life. Where it's easier to kill than to forgive. Where failure is a person, not an event. Where social media brought humanity together, but destroy their connection to the real world, and helped build these discriminating, condemning, manipulative little minded, controllable fame seeking robotic people, that ended up isolating themselves from reality.

Welcome to the 21st century where killing animals is easier then loving them, where hate is much more powerful than love. Where peoples souls are darker than polluted air. Where water is thicker than blood.

Welcome to the 21st century were spending trillions flying to the moon or Mars is easier then providing common foods for the poor or restoring and rebuild Earth to her natural beauty.

Where we spend billions looking for prove of life in other planets, while we ignore the dying lives on earth.

Where war is the new sign of peace. Where learning is abandoned because of arrogance. Where books are being ignored and reading a book makes you look weird and crazy.

Welcome to the 21st century where we now have Evolved Christians.

where preachers preach disgrace and call it grace.

Where people seek the faces of pastors, instead of the face of God.

Where preachers steal the glory of God.

Where what we have are motivational preachers instead of salvation preachers.

Where many preachers harvest more souls for hell than the demons themselves.

Where we have millions of churches and millions of preachers yet all manners of sins has gained more power over the hearts of people than ever before.

Where the definition of God in every churches is very different. Where God's words are only used to gain all manners of wealth, popularity and fame. Where different churches and cultures are condemning, fighting and killing each other over whose definition of God is real.

Where pastors and church leaders are more diabolical, manipulative and controlling than the devil himself.

Where the house of God is the comfort zone for all types of sinners.

Where trillions claim to be children of God, but God feels childless.

Where most Sunday or weekly service is mostly excitement and entertainment galore from beginning to the end.

Where Churches are so busy with church activities while evangelizing and winning over lost souls which is the main thing is the most neglected.

Where many preaching the gospel are only mocking God by the way they interpret his words to work in line with their selfish needs and to suit the itching ears of doomed sinners.

Where Christians forget that sin is a reproach that will never allow them to approach God, and Grace is divine enablement for godliness, and it should never be used to make people of God relax in their sinful ways.

Where the new definition of most pastors now is;

pretenders telling the untruth with intent to deceive, manipulate, wrongly influencing to gain power, to have control over others mostly to defrauding them of their money and freewill with fake gospel.

Where church members fear, obey and respect any laws or commands of their pastors more than the once from God.

Where pastors go unchallenged and their disgraceful methods and questionable teachings are completely accepted by their members.

Where churches no longer provides answers or solutions but creates more problems and confusions. Where churches spend billions on building projects, while their poor members suffer and endure starvation or accommodation problems.

Welcome to the 21st century where having great knowledge automatically makes you appear weird and people look at you like an insane person. Where arguments and fighting are the best way to understand and resolve any situation. Where we can't giving common food to a bigger without posting it on social media, to make a big deal out of it, so people will know that we helped someone.

Where you see people making and post all types of short films daily on social media, showing themselves helping the less privilege in one way or the other, simply for more likes, more viewers and subscriber.

Where this same people uploading these videos, in reality have never helped anyone in their entire life.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where depression is a normal feeling, while suicide is also a preferable option. Where quitting is much more better than try. Where spending is better than earning. Where speaking or taking any decision is best without thinking.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where technology is rising and the earth is dying. Where it's easier to make a mess of everything than fixing it. Where we can easily make hundreds of promises in a seconds without fulfilling any of them in our life time, even if we can.

Welcome to the 21st century where all you see are people completely believing and depending on other's perspective, ideas and opinions. Where fake news spread easily then the real news. Where speaking the truth makes you the enemy or a target.

Welcome to the 21st century where we place so much values on nonsignificant things, but neglect the most important affairs; Where any sports men or women and entertainers, earns more money, lives a more comfortable lifestyle, are well recognised and honoured in the society. These people gets millions of dollars worth of awards and contracts, their names goes down into history books, and their entertaining achievements, are thought in schools. They are regarded as heroes all over the world. Meanwhile a soldiers, police officers, doctors, firemen, nurses, teachers, farmers, inventors, scientists etc, these real important heroes, the people that helped kept our world safe, built and are still doing so till date, most of them die of abject poverty and homelessness.

These great men and women that sacrificed so much, so we can have a better world, most of them never received any gratitude for their services, not to talk of an awards. Their salaries and pension withheld for months or years and even slashed for no reason, "that's for the lucky once." These people that actually did the heavy lifting, that deserves the recognitions, lived and died like common church rats, with no one ever knowing even their names or how much they sacrificed for their country, societies or the world at large.

Welcome to the 21st century where our smartphones grows more smarter and the people go dumb and senseless everyday.

Where handwritten notes were completely ignored.

Where we make our life on social media, to be way more fun than the real world.

Where you are friends with so many stranger on social media, but in the real world, you don't even say hello to each other.

Where you've got thousands of friends on social media, but in the real world you're lonely.

Where having fancy gadgets makes you look cool and rich. Where our only reason for helping anyone, is just so we can show it off online, to make us famous and popular, and not because we truly care about them.

Welcome to the 21st century where our so-called justice system is only blind to the truth.

Where the poor and innocent are found guilty, but the rich and powerful are always innocent because of their influence in the society. Even if found guilty, they can easily buy their way out of any crime they or their friends and families commits.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where smile turns to tears, and tears turn to suicide. Where having selfies is much better than having a family photograph, and rants and all manners of insults on social media are the best way to settle any family or relationship disputes, instead of talking it over in person privately.

Where all you daily activities can be seen on social media.

Where it's very easy for a serial killer to get all the information he or she needs to harm someone.

Welcome to the 21st century, where people organise show's telling you to come so they will show or teach you how to turn 2k into 2million, while they themselves have never seen 50k in their entire life.

Where you see people written, selling and advertise books on how to become billions, but they are dying poverty.

Where most products you buy are way different from what was advertised

Welcome to the 21st century where children willingly engage in sexual act at a very little age. Where female teenagers love dating men seven times their age, and woman enjoy going out almost naked.

Where sex with a total strangers is no longer a big deal. Where we have baby mamas/papas, but not mothers and fathers.

Where sleeping with or dating a celebrity is something of honour and pride, that we want the world to know.

Where fashion is nothing but complete madness.

Where one can marry and divorce as much as the wants, without any shame whatsoever, and still have a lot of people supporting them.

Where technology has imprisoned children indoors, and women allowed their value and worth to depreciate by throwing it under the bus just for money and fame.

Where education is no longer the key to success, but just an accomplishment to brag about.

Welcome to the 21st century.

Where having a pretty face is much more valuable than having a good quality and a well reasoning brain to go with it.

Where people will do anything just so they can get more likes on social media.

Where being fake is now the best way to make all your dreams come true.

Welcome to the 21st century. Where sex is no longer sacred, and being a virgin makes you feel ashamed and stupid, but not proud, because it makes you look immature before your friends.

Welcome to the 21st century where our mean reason for helping anyone, is for our own selfish gain. And when we can't find any or have gotten what we need from them, all they get from us are all manners of excuses.

Welcome to the 21st century where lies are more valuable than the truth. Where women are more fearful of pregnancy than HIV. Where girls markets their virginity to the highest bidder on social media, and the only way they believe to succeed is by doing something illegal, incriminating, unthinkable or abominable.

Where having a sex tape makes you feel famous, while releasing it pays big and helps make you popular.

Where releasing your sex tape is nothing to be ashamed of anymore, in fact they purposely release it online, just to be famous.

Where shameless people with no regrets for their immoral lifestyle, who should be hiding their faces in shame, are regarded as celebrities in the society and are roll models especially the younger ones..

Where if you are an actor/actress and have not done a sex scene yet, you are not regarded as a talented actor..

Where mothers and father really go necked and act all manners of shameless scenes in a movie, without any care that one day their children, grandchildren and so on will get to see their shameless acts just because of money and fame.

Where these same shameless entertainers ends up blaming other's for the uncontrollable rising of sexual immortality and all kinds of evil act in the society, especially with the young once.

Where most ladies act, dress and behave shameless in movies, without any self-respect for themselves or their families, yet expert, "in fact demand to be treated with respect."

Where most men only care about sex and will do anything to get it, nothing more.

Welcome to the 21st century where it's hard to believe in those who are really seeking the truth, but easier not to doubt those who claim to have found it.

Where we fake ourselves just to look perfect, even though perfection is never real and reality is never perfect!

A generation where we idolize and worship human beings.

Where people are real good at pretending!

Where trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt, and being real gets you hated.

Where smoking, drinking and doing drugs make you feel cool and invincible, even if it will be the death of you.

Lastly, welcome to the 21st century where the world no longer makes sense.

Welcome to the 21st century, the robotic, bloodthirsty and fornication generation,

Welcome to the 21st century, where the world was destroyed by humanity's stupidity.

[berniesrevolution]

I don't mean this to sound hostile, but I'm super turned off by Bernie's failure to vigorously oppose drone strikes, mass surveillance, and to support Edward Snowden. Economics and the environment are extremely important, and on those Bernie's better than any other American politician, but civil liberties and peace are important too. I want Bernie to stand against imperialist slaughter overseas and the growth of a dystopian police state in America.

I mean, Bernie has spoken out on those things.

On mass surveillance: 

Let me be clear: We must do everything we can to protect our country from the serious potential of another terrorist attack. We can and must do so, however, in a way that also protects the constitutional rights of the American people and maintains our free society.

Do we really want to live in a country where the NSA gathers data on virtually every single phone call in the United States—including as many as 5 billion cellphone records per day? I don’t. Do we really want our government to collect our emails, see our text messages, know everyone’s Internet browsing history, monitor bank and credit card transactions, keep tabs on people’s social networks? I don’t.

Unfortunately, this sort of Orwellian surveillance, conducted under provisions of the Patriot Act, invades the privacy of millions of law-abiding Americans.(x)

On Edward Snowden:

The information disclosed by Edward Snowden has allowed Congress and the American people to understand the degree to which the NSA has abused its authority and violated our constitutional rights.

Now we must learn from the troubling revelations Mr Snowden brought to light. Our intelligence and law enforcement agencies must be given the tools they need to protect us, but that can be done in a way that does not sacrifice our rights.

While Mr Snowden played an important role in educating the American people, there is no debate that he also violated an oath and committed a crime. In my view, the interests of justice would be best served if our government granted him some form of clemency or a plea agreement that would spare him a long prison sentence or permanent exile. (x)

On Drone Strikes:

I think we have to use drones very, very selectively and effectively. That has not always been the case. What you can argue is that there are times and places where drone attacks have been effective.(x)

Just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean that it has not been addressed. 

But I know that his drone strike comments may not be comforting to everyone, but I actually agree with his statement. Drone’s are a tool, like any other. A tool can be used well and a tool can be used poorly. A tool in the wrong hands though can be a nightmarish affair. 

I think that Drone strikes should only be used with massive congressional oversight for the very reasons that Bernie Sanders states.  Drone warfare should be selective and effective. Drone strikes should not take place if there is a risk of civilian casualty and the President should have to answer for every strike that has any civilian casualties. 

I want the process of having to answer for a strike having gone awry to be so lengthy that it is a deterrent to using them in any but the most extreme cases or in the case of a Congressional Act of War. No president would want weeks of their limited time in office to be consumed with congressional hearings on the validity of their use of force. 

Because let’s be honest, Drones are not going anywhere. There are too many tactical advantages to drone warfare over conventional warfare.

- @theliberaltony

To be honest, I have not spent a great deal of time thinking about how to properly police drone strikes, the Intercept has a ton of information on the topic in “The Drone Papers” which I would recommend that anyone interested in the Drones should read.  

[alyhollywood]

Confessions on How To Handle Education Now That Devos Has Officially Sworn Into a Place of Power Enabling Tragedy If We Don't Enlighten her We Guarantee Our Opportunity Expired until Continus Time to Ever Further The Education of Any Ones Mind; Ending Free Individualized Thought To Die With No New Knowledge Absorbed By The Massful Minds

In California you don't need a teaching degree to teach at a charter school or in private sector but unlike charter private sector often has numerous own qualifications of their own often requiring a teach degree or a doctorate in field to teach unlike charter schools which fail here because they have teachers who don't have degrees or new ones who don't know what the heck they are doing. Actually recently a charter administration building that runs 14 in LA was raided for misuse of funds and they found according to the news clip I had watched (not sure on If accurate or added fake news embellishment) tons of illegal drugs being stored in these buildings boxes of them. So yeah although the clip said they were being compliant with authorities makes you wonder what the hell was going on in that school network system and the people in charge of those children hah. I did vote trump however DeVos is not qualified and is quite terrifying the fact she couldn't state the definitions of growth and proficiency let alone decipher between the two terms. She also does not think highly of disabled services or special education and feels they should just be not given the tools they need to be successful or achieve their highest potential. In fact feels they are a waste of time and wants to turn the clock back to how they were viewed in the 50's and 60's which is wrong in more ways then I can even begin to get into. Just because a child is different does not make them stupid or incapable of learning they just learn differently in ways than others and need a bit more time, compassion, patience and care with help and guidance from a passionate educator who is willing to work with them and specialize their lesson plan for them to be successful. Would you fail a kid in a wheelchair or on krutches for not running the mile in PE with all the other students? No. So why would you put students in such situations treating them all the same across the board in all subjects. I truly don't think people realize how strong the teacher unions are or why they are necessary to be. They fight for education and often instead of new textbooks or materials in the classroom the state will decide to grant money only for beautifying the campus aka build buildings with no desks in them for anyone to be able to teach, plant flowers and do some pretty mascot mural painting on the gymnasium while the nets are inside in shreds and the uniforms recycled each year reused decade after decade and every class has some mandatory 10-35 dollar material fee that totals up to be quite pricey by the end of the first day with 7 classes and not to mention actually going to buy school supplies and later on project materials and field trip fees etc. Yes I do believe some administrators get overpaid and there are one too many of them necessary on a board but that has nothing to do really with the teachers union it's separate and the teachers all the ones I know work absurd long hours, multiple jobs because their salary wouldn't even cover rent and utilities let alone if they have kids all the fees I mentioned above in public schools mind you, live paycheck to paycheck, get almost no tax breaks because they can't afford to own a house on their income alone etc. Truly passionate and love their job and students but really stress about being able to cover groceries or anything else that may occur like a car needing repair or washing machine broke out of warranty. Cutting their salaries is about the most moronic thing when it's been cut almost every other year as it is to where they are barely getting by some not even with maxed out credit cards. Our teachers are the ones with kids every day. They work their ass off to try and better the child's life and broaden their horizons. They are the ones who prepare the youth for the future we all will be a part of and want them to be able to be functioning in society when they join it. The ones who give them those tools to be able to do that and get jobs and be independent are the teachers who instill knowledge into their minds. Crippling them and their resources and burning them out means no bright future and hinders the amount the children are able to have taught to them for them to learn making them less informed and lacking skills. We need teachers! We need someone who knows what the hell they are doing and we need those who are qualified to take a stand and make sure they speak up loud enough to make a case stated with in refutable facts and data to help guide and enlighten DeVos on the system and what public education and educators need to be more successful and what ways the students should be tested to see their progress and milestones toward success in learning. Force her to understand growth needs to be the focus not proficiency as we have been doing with the failing common core where the top of the class and the bottom of the class are ignored and not given what they need to move ahead of their peers or catch up to them and be recognized for their goals reached not just called a failure because they aren't up to speed with their peers. Take a 5th grader. They are not reading at a 5th grade level like they should and the middle range of the class is. This student has a kindergarten reading level and was just pushed through the system feeling more loss and less engaged each year. A teacher comes across them and gets them to a 4th grade reading level by the end of the year. Now if you go by proficiency their peers are now at 6grade level so that kid is labeled a failure and a waste of time and not worth bothering with. If you go by growth you see the huge improvement in the year moving their reading level up by 4 grade levels and see they are able to learn and smart if given the tools and tlc needed. Growth measurement that child is a success and met beyond their goals of just being up one or two reading levels but did 4! Now take that same 5th grade class you have a student who is reading 10th grade level. Way beyond what their peers are. By proficiency she or he would be told to not read ahead and to have to read with their peers at 5th grade level and be unchallenged and bored often then not caring and then not doing homework because why bother it's not a challenge and is just more of a punishment and makes learning a chore because for that student they aren't learning they are frustrated bored and when asked to give vocab words they don't know the definition of to do assignments with they are trying to guess what their peers don't know since they knew all but maybe one and need to come up with 20 words and then get docked because some of the words they guessed wrong and the teacher deemed too easy. Teacher is focused on proficiency therefore not focused on child being beyond this and extremely agitated and miserable; the reason they are probably talking in class ,when they shouldn't, doodling or other behaviors not deemed appropriate and punishable worthy. Now take growth this teacher notices and either sends them to an honor class to transfer to or takes the other students also beyond the reading level say you have 6 students who are above and beyond ranging from 7-10 reading level. The teacher gives them their own book probably around an 8.5 reading level or 9 depending on the students and they will have their own assignments to that book to work on as the rest of the class works on the other book and its assignments. I've seen it done so don't say this doesn't happen teachers focused on growth do this quite frequently if they are attune with their students and their capabilities as well as willing to help them when they need it and get stuck and promote positivity with the you can do it you are capable i know you are smart attitude. These students focused with growth learn at a level challenging to their needs and not just overlooked or forced to waste time feeling as if it is pointless to show up because it's so torturous and infuriating that their peers are just not getting what they understood two weeks ago and are still discussing it in class. In growth everyone is challenged and the whole class is engaged and learning new material that is appropriate for their mind to continue to build and expand in becoming informed on the endless information and knowledge just waiting for their brains to absorb! Do you see why now it's important ,someone in charge understand the difference and why it is terrifying she doesn't? Let alone believes in proficiency more ,so based on what she says in her jumbled answers, then in growth! The schools need a serious fix after no child left behind and the program of common core followed it that needs to go away. We need someone who knows what the hell they are talking about to be in charge of redevelopment of a working system that benefits all students disabled, average and honor/gate program kids. SAVE OUR FUTURE OF EDUCATION HELP DEVOS BE INFORMED TO KNOW BASICS TO BE ABLE TO HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE TO DO HER JOB AND NOT DESTROY THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM FOREVER OR WORSE ABOLISH IT FROM EXISTENCE IN THIS COUNTRY FOREVER.

Note: some of this I wrote shorthand as originally was to be a comment on a video that was too long so then posted as a facebook post on my own feed that I felt I wanted to express here and share my own perspective to all of you I interact here. You can agree or not that is what freedom of speech is all about and politics are definitely a hot topic today so please be kind and do not throw personal attacks on my physical attributes or character in response keep it on topic about the politics and not on one another’s human identities in this planet we all reside on that is much smaller than we often come to consider. So be polite , respectful and have a great rest of your time on tumblr on this blissful night :)

[millenial-net-utopia-2010]

I believe that if exclusion and choice became protected rights a number of potentially brilliant solutions might start emerging. Several schools which exclude via money and location are able to do better. British elite Private Schooling is still quite solid. The Grammars weren't allowed to discriminate on merit, but british leftists tolerate good schools excluding on money.

As I kind of alluded to in the Steiner thread, I think it'd be great if people could just make their own schools and we let the results speak for themselves. A spread of purpose oriented educations. Some already exist. We see fundamentalist islamist schooling for example. It produces human garbage. Fundamentalist Jew education. Human garbage. Steiner Schools. Weirdos. Christian Homeschooling communes. Weirdos who turn into gigahicklibs in reaction and then set themselves on fire for tiktok memes. Let humanity keep trying and someone will get it right.

You could say allowing so many potentially horrific failures to proliferate would be cruel. But my answer, the standard solution is already horrific. I would prefer free market insanity to top-down imposed monoculture insanity.

This is of course my solution for what we'll euphemistically call open societies of the 21st century. If any real country wanted to stabilise itself and operate as a national project again my answer would probably be to just recreate british grammar schooling and its peers.

-

Antice said: I would consider Gen Z gentle or retarded giants. Imagine the power they wield and how much more will come after the inverse birth pyramid will die out. Most of us grow up in one of the most peaceful times in the history of mankind. The schools aren't adapted to handle that. (So a silent reform is taking place.) Another rise of the politicalized classroom, the propagating teacher, war mongrels and profiteers. But my view on this matter could be influenced by the recent watching of 1864. So I mostly agree with Antoine.

As Einstein puts it: Education is what isn't forgotten. My take on schools is: You get everything needed for most jobs and can forget the things you don't at the door. But I'm frustrated about how much time everything takes/needs and try my best to simply accelerate things. ...

The only system I trust, is the one where I can make up my own options. (Server rules; If god forbids, it would not be possible)

(It's always impossible until someone does it) ...

Since god is dead, we kill idols (influencers) at an alarming rate. I heard a quote similar to:"A wise man sees a young man struggling with the same challenges he once faced, knowing that through overcoming them, the young man will grow wiser." Do the older ones push us to add strength, to form our character or is it really just Machiavellian tendencies?

Perhaps you are right. I'm interested in your solution of a new globalistic school. What does the world need now!? Click to expand…

I don't see why killing God would necessitate the loss of individual human celebrities. After all, if we slaughter Yahweh, we can worship all the false idols we want. This is why I think it's very important to espouse the values of Secular Humanism among the young crowd, such that they understand it's OK to appreciate the output of real human beings.

-

nsequeira119 said: Yeah, those are good- I don't mean at all to undersell or overlook the creative visions that Gen Z already has. Gen Z has a great deal of unique aphorisms, culture, etc. but it isn't understood or catalogued by older generations, who just dismiss it. Step one in building a healthy, functional generation might be recognizing the contributions to culture which have already been made. I'd say the biggest difference between Gen Z and previous generations is that we don't value the individual. We don't have any celebrities- at least not yet- who are distinct, recognizable people with unique outlooks. Moreso our culture is a collective soupy hodgepodge which places ideologies over individuals. That might not necessarily be unworkable, it might even lead to great results- but we need to refine and understand it. I'm not sure a "healthy, functional generation" can really exist, since they, as invented by Karl Mannheim, only are really defined by bad or disruptive things happening to a cohort of people, in turn affecting future generations based on how they react. Perhaps the healthiest generation is one that doesn't screw up the world bad enough to create further generation-defining events.

I don't think Gen-Z can really contribute to "culture" because there is no longer anything common to bind people except living in the same economic zone called a "country". There are absolutely no pressures on me to start saying "on Jah" and listening to Lil Uzi because good taste is in a complete anarchic state right now, and the old institutions that used to have the monopoly on what people did, watched, read, etc. barely even exist. Instead, algorithms tell us to embrace hyper-specific interests that makes everyone a foreigner to everyone else. The downfall of the celebrity is from people no longer all caring about one thing together. Can zoomerkids still create works of art? Yes, but they won't be universally popular. Instead of a return to the 20th Century monoculture I find it more likely there will be fracturing, as small weird identities gain traction and fight with each other.

-

Your first mistake was thinking that you're entitled to anything. Culture has always been the top dogs' bitch. You can see this in the transformation of "culture" from the feudalists' impotent baroque masturbation to the even more insufferable wank that was early bourgeois nationalism, to the even more insufferable wank that was impressionism etc. etc...

Since the late 1800s "culture" has been a consoomer's shitfuck to be bought and sold to the proto-hitlerite "middle class", and that process of consoomifying art has only snowballed. "Art" and "culture" no longer have any pretentious dickwad value in and of themselves, but only value in how much they sell for. That's why we've recently seen the total obliteration of what little specks of joy could be found in this

nightmare called the internet, because the pedophilic masturbatory death march of the bourgeois has begun metaphorically pissing and shitting hot steamy liquid over any old frameworks; buying up domains, consolidating the flow of information between a few large partners. It isn't right to call it "technofeudalism" because we aren't even allowed to slack off as much as feudal peasants did; the internet

is slowly being absorbed into a few massive cybercartels. These cartels' castrated public forums strip away individuality to a profile picture and handle, flood the user with a mindless sewage spill of "content", and don't allow them the time or resources to think for a while, just keep scrolling... Yes, the modern cartel is designed to provoke aggression in its users, the drawing of battle lines, the

psychic train of addiction through petty likes and follows, we know, we've all seen the sheer brainlessness of the average Xitter user, who has staked out lines on le Culture War issue of the day, the same bloodlust showing as the smug androids that run these shitholes collect their money from idiots. The technocratic cartels of today obey the same principles as those of early-1900s Germany—

Phoebus' lightbulb killings and the like— and like Phoebus they march towards war, because that's where the money is. And these won't be the chudjak manly trad wars of Macedon or Rome, no, these wars will be automated on ChatGPT-9/11 and shitcoin deposits as the bunch of fat bastards that are the ringleaders smoke pot and masturbate, observing a field of infant corpses, their soldiers.

-

another great new, related thread

Is the economy a zero sum game?

A quick google search of this question gives a resounding answer: "No, IDIOT!" The reason given for why the economy isn't zero sum is "wealth creation", a nebulous ill-defined concept which I'm not entirely sure exists, at least not in the way it's usually touted. A common explanation of why...

new

On deceit: Why does honesty seem so scarce?

Good evening Cafe. Maybe you can relate; I feel like I'm on the receiving end of a lot more lies than I ought to be. For the past few years, as I've entered my 20s I've formed quite a few friendships that have been called into question, and sometimes ended, due to boldfaced lies or personal...

Code:https://twitter.com/tulpapilled/status/1771142712588398942

GONNA REVAMP THIS BLOG... USED TO BE PR ADS, - NOW, IT IS PLACE FOR NEW AESTHETICS - "NET UTOPIA 2010" (TENTATIVE NAME)