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"Moon penis slice!" scream the girl gang outside my window, as they bedick one of the neighbourhood monsters with a pair of bolt cutters. I'm not a big fan of this new state of affairs, but I do hate monsters and love kicky miniskirts. I never thought I'd say this, but replacing the police with the Super Moon Princess Army was a bad cost-cutting move. For one thing, they're not even from the Moon. Most of them were born in Jersey except for the tall lesbian one that I find both physically and spiritually intimidating. She's from Pennsylvania.

Thing is, there's no way we can go back. Because it's working. The regular cops wouldn't even deal with corporate malfeasance. I'm not sure, but I read in a magazine while I was waiting to get my haircut that they think the monsters came from some kind of illegal genetic engineering. So if they couldn't stop where the monsters were made, how are they ever gonna stop the monsters now that they're running all over town and trying to eat people? The Super Moon Princess Army is effective. Terrifyingly so.

In fact, they announced in the news the other day that they're almost out of monsters to geld. Nearly every single one has been destroyed in one way or another by these guerrilla teens. Nobody is talking about what happens next, once they have no more monsters to perform back-alley butchery on.

You know what? I think I'm gonna go move my car. I am parked real close to the property line, and I haven't seen a bylaw officer in a few months. He might have been replaced by the lady from Pennsylvania. There's no way I'm gonna win an argument about curb distance with her.

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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

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“why bother writing bisexual characters if they just end up in a m/f relationship”

my dude

my guy

my pal

stop talking forever

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(x)

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obsessed with this image of squids becoming land dwellers from splatoon

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What if we were Akira Toriyama characters joyfully riding some sort of vehicle together, huh? What then?

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Cozy Fantasy and Why It Doesn't Work

I think I am among many who feel like they should love cozy fantasy and have found it an incredibly lacking genre.

This newly branded "cozy fantasy" genre that has taken readers by storm since 2020 and while it is new that books are now marketed as cozy, the genre itself isn't new. Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones is a great example of the genre before it was labeled and also how to make it work.

Cozy fantasy is defined by many as fantasy with low stakes. Fantasy aesthetic but less sword fights. On paper, it sounds great. But the execution has been less than stellar for readers like me. The lack of physical stakes has also impacted the emotional stakes of these books, creating forgettable characters with boring problems. As a romance reader, I find this frustrating. Romance is known for being a predictable and formulaic genre, the now defunct Romance Writers of America defined romances as needing happy endings, a term romances have continued to follow. Yet these romance texts manage to have low physical stakes (how to date your neighbor, how to confront your toxic friends, etc) while still maintaining high personal stakes that keep readers invested and begging for more. So I was initially confused why cozy fantasy authors struggle to write texts that connect to readers like me.

I think I have found the answer which is the genre is just here for vibes. It is all about aesthetic, not even worldbuilding that fantasy is known for as most cozy fantasy I read have so many problems as soon as you ask one question. It is hard to acknowledge that a genre that is pitched to work for readers like me doesn't work for many of us. Especially because occasionally there is one that works beautifully to my taste.

I often say my favorite cozy fantasies that are more contemporary are short and visual, which I plays into the idea of the genre being an aesthetic. The Bakery Dragon by Devin Elle Kurtz is a good example because it is a simple story that is given the perfect amount of pages and gorgeous visuals without dragging on when the message is very clear and easy to understand. Books like The Phoenix Keeper and Legends and Lattes have absolutely nothing for me, their very clear message hitting the reader over and over so the readers don't miss it and focusing on the aesthetic of worldbuilding rather than the reality of the fantastic elements within the world.

I guess my point is. . . I realize this genre isn't for me since I have realized it is more of an aesthetic than anything. .. .but I want it to be. Should I let it go and put my efforts elsewhere? Or should I keep exploring this new trend and find the hidden gems?

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i wanna talk about this shot

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A Bug’s Life, 1998

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Unpopular opinion time but I’m going to be honest. Perhaps universities *should* partially ban social media and smart phones to some extent—or at least have some kind of policy around it for their students. It is becoming pretty clear that covid and a switch from phonics weren’t the only reasons young adults are incapable of reading full books the way we used to. No one wants to talk about this though, which is why phones are still somewhat allowed in k-12 educations, which I also think is extremely dangerous. Teachers shouldn’t be competing with phones.

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Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

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ermmm do you guys like steven universe

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carry your flag up high ❤️

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The 'hyperspecific situations' polls are really once again highlighting that native English speakers tend to forget that 'foreign' doesn't mean 'non-English' or 'non-American'

"Did you watch a foreign language movie in the past three days?" Yeah I watched the foreign movie "The Martian" with foreign actor Matt Damon

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Note to self do not leave pens in the car in arizona i gUESS????

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sometimes i say things on twitter and then make a little graph about it