#it's a constant and terrible battle with myself

[psychedeliclulu]

My desire to write future chapters with hot scenes

VS

Me desperately trying to focus on the current chapter so I can get there one day :

[armoricaroyalty]

For some reason, when she kissed him, he thought of Theo.

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Transcript under the cut.

WOMAN 1 | ...for real, I've been like, completely obsessed. WOMAN 1 | Like, there was hardly any wedding coverage for Jacques and Vivi, right? And that was my first royal wedding! I thought it was normal! I didn't know I was missing out. WOMAN 2 | Right? It feels like everyone's been saving up all their hype. WOMAN 1 | Has anyone else been following the dress rumors? WOMAN 2 | [ sighs ] I just hope Emily's dress isn't as boring as Vivi's was. WOMAN 2 | Vivi's whole wardrobe is boring! She dresses like a toddler, it is so unflattering. WOMAN 1 | I know, right? She should ask Lady Em to take her shopping. WOMAN 3 | Lady Emily is soooo gorgeous. WOMAN 2 | She's too good for him. He's always been such a scrub. WOMAN 1 | Whatever! I'm just glad it's a real love story, not just a shotgun wedding. An office romance... [ dreamy sigh ] Like, it could have been me! THEO | [ scoffs ] [ The conversation died immediately, and the silence solidified into something like hostility. Theo turned to see five pale, contemptuous faces fixed on her back, and her heart jumped up into her throat. Fighting to keep her expression neutral and her voice even, she stood and announced to no one that she was going to lunch. They pretended not to hear her. ] WOMAN 1 | ...she is such a stuck-up b-word. WOMAN 2 | Did you know that she used to date Prince Frederick? WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. Her? WOMAN 2 | Yeah. That's how she got hired here after she got disbarred or whatever. WOMAN 3 | Yeah. And her mom dated the King before he married the Queen. WOMAN 1 | Oh my god. She's a second-generation royal girlfriend? Gross. WOMAN 2 | D'you think her daughter will actually land a prince? WOMAN 3 | Why not? [ giggles ] Third time's the charm! [ Even in the warmer months, the gardens at Yew Court Palace stood empty. In February, the fountains were dry and the ivy dormant. Fat crows stirred in the bare branches overhead. Somewhere nearby, muffled by hedges, came the low hum of passing traffic. ] [ It was a food place to be alone. ]

THEO: I am going to kill myself or my coworkers, havent decided yet FREDDY: Nooooo dont do that FREDDY: Id have noone to text if you were dead THEO: Aw, no friends? FREDDY: Nope :( THEO: Pobrecito FREDDY: O baby. Talk dirty to me THEO: Lmao THEO: For real though THEO: Gonna kill my coworkers THEO: Or myself FREDDY: What did they do this time THEO: They are just openly talking shit about me now THEO: IN FRONT OF ME FREDDY: Wtf???????? FREDDY: Want me to have them fired lol THEO: I can fight my own battles tyvm FREDDY: Whats your battle plan? Stapler in jello? Sign them up for boner pill emails? THEO: Find a new job and leave them here to choke on their own incompetence FREDDY: Love when you talk about choking :heart_eyes: THEO: LMAO perv FREDDY: Cant help myself lol FREDDY: Anyway…sorry about your terrible job. Mine kinda sucks rn too THEO: Isn’t your job rn wedding planning?? FREDDY: But it’s not it’s actually mediating between my mom and Emily THEO: Do they not get along? FREDDY: No they get along fine but it’s like. FREDDY: My mom clearly has Ideas (tm) about how the wedding should be and em clearly wants something completely diferent and it is just constant FREDDY: Theyre killing meeeeeee THEO: That sucks. Are you at least getting your own ideas in too? FREDDY: Not really…altho tbf if i was getting my way it’d be like. Courthouse wedding. In and out. THEO: My parents got married at city hall FREDDY: Dreams really do come true THEO: They sure do THEO: Okay this is going to sound weird but...I felt like the wedding plans didn’t really seem like you THEO: if that makes sense? THEO: Like I get that you're a prince but a huge formal wedding isn't your vibe at alllll FREDDY: You know me…my kind of party involves a lot more helicopters and blow THEO: LMAO I thought there was just the one helicopter FREDDY: See this is why we’re friends lol FREDDY: You keep me honest

[ soft knocking ] EMILY | Frederick? Are you okay in there? FREDERICK | [ muffled ] Be right out! EMILY | Are you alright? You were gone a while... FREDERICK | Aw, did you miss me? EMILY | Just making sure you didn't fall in.

[blade-liger-4ever]

I can hardly believe I just did this, but...

Here's my take for Rhaego Targaryen, the Stallion Who Mounts the World, plus small ideas for a minor AU of sorts.

Warning, I'm putting a cut here because Tumblr is stupid and won't let me order the pictures side by side in the proper order.

So for this take - which is personally how I'd like to see an AU of Game of Thrones, give or take some details that are or aren't changed - I like to imagine that both Drogo and Rhaego lived, with Daenerys and Drogo teaming up to retake the Iron Throne, Daenerys acting as the great strategist/political powerhouse (while being backed by her three dragons, who keep their names and most of their personalities), while Drogo leads the troops and trains all the men Daenerys brings him through her alliances. I'd probably let it be done so that Daenerys, maybe through a dealing with the witch that, obviously, doesn't involve her husband and son's deaths, does leave her unable to bear more children. Regardless of whether or not that's a factor at all in this AU, Rhaego has no more biological siblings, but quickly grows to view Drogon, Rhaegal, and Viserion as his brothers, while the dragons in turn also view him as their youngest brother and protect him as fiercely as their mother and father (Drogo being their father - oldest boy is named for him, after all.)

Robb would also live, and I'd like to, personally, introduce a tribe of white tiger shape-shifters from "The Land of Always Winter". I'm....honestly wanting him to marry the tribe's princess, who can really kick butt, too. The reason for this is that I feel the Night King's home for the last few centuries is underdeveloped, and I feel Robb should marry someone with experience in warfare - that, and I really like white tigers. Additionally, I'd probably have White Tiger Princess sent to find the Starks and reveal to them their ties to House Targaryen, and organize an alliance with House Stark as they battle the frozen zombies (by the way, this revelation is achieved by prophetesses from their land, and all members of the tribe learn to fight and care for each other because of the constant threat of the Night King.)

So....hrm, let me think. I guess it otherwise goes according to canon, but they manage to fix enough things that when Daenerys and Drogo - who have practically reclaimed most of the Seven Kingdoms, I suppose - meet them and learn of their family ties, Robb and Jon come to an agreement with them: Daenerys will rule the Seven Kingdoms, with Jon acting as her Hand and ruling most of the North. House Stark is still intact, though Ned, Catelyn, and Rickon are still dead, and Robb marries the White Tiger Princess and unites the two lands through their marriage. Additionally, the white tiger tribe (which I'm terribly sorry I forgot to mention earlier) has access to ice dragons, allowing for the regrowth of the dragon presence in Westeros through crossbreeding the species, and giving Jon his own dragon so that he can embrace his Targaryen heritage.

Other bullet points that I want to leave here:

Rhaego rides Viserion, who is the only unclaimed of the three dragons (I feel Drogo should ride Rhaegal, who in this story, grows to be nearly as big as Drogon.) Viserion is also the fastest, earning him the nickname "The Pale Wind".

Grey Wind lives, and gets to remain by his master's side all through to the war's end.

Nymeria reunites with Arya, who perhaps returns to the North or chooses another future for herself.

The Hound lives, always accompanying Arya, regardless of her life choice.

Jaime lives, actually gets to redeem himself, and maybe marries or otherwise has a relationship with Brienne.

Cersei gets to die, hopefully horribly (I hate her, okay?)

Sansa...TBD, either by myself or anyone else who reads this and enjoys it.

Jorah lives, acting as Rhaego's guardian and teacher as he grows.

Jon marries either Ygritte or some other woman; I personally prefer Daenerys x Drogo.

And lastly, we would probably get an epilogue of sorts where we see a young adult Rhaego, having inherited his family legacy and trained Dothraki dragonriders, embarking on a conquest of Valyria, which I'd use as a Sequel Hook for a future series.

And that's it. If you like this, thank you for reading it. If you didn't, just skip this post; it's merely a way for me to kick out the ideas that have been rattling around in my brain for Heaven knows how long.

Also, if anyone wants to make a story out of this, you have my blessing to do so. I only ask you credit me for the source of the concepts and original inventions for this. I'm not a fan of Game of Thrones, nor have I really watched it - I just looked up the characters, found I liked them, and thought "what if?"

Have fun people, and take care.

[lumenflowered]

I have... thought on the matter further. I myself may have been little more than a weapon to be pointed at the enemies of others in the past.

But that has changed.

I have changed.

I am not who I was before. That much is certain. The past is... not gone, nor would I wish for it to be.

Without it, I would likely still be complicit in... any number of terrible things. What went wrong at that fishing hamlet was far from the first incident I would come to regret. It was... simply the burden that broke the beast's back, so to speak.

I would undo it all if I could. But it may be for the best that I cannot. That I know, firsthand, what must never be repeated.

There were two reasons that I became a Hunter. The first was rather simple, and far from noble: I had nowhere else to go, was desperate for some sort of purpose, and knew that I could hold my own in a fight.

The second came later. Though not much later.

I... desired to protect people. Those who could not, or would not, protect themselves. I lost sight of that, before the end, and it took something so drastic as... as Kos, for me to remember too late.

Too little, too late.

I'm honestly not sure if it is better to know that my presence here, that my being alive at all, was nothing but a cosmic accident. I suppose it is a reassurance, however slight, to know that I was not... meant to be here at all.

Yet I am.

I know better now. Far better than I did before.

I will not be complicit in a terrible thing like that ever again.

Nor will I stand by and allow others to do the same. Not while I possess the skillset to prevent history from repeating itself.

...When it comes to battle with Pokémon, I find myself reasonably confident. But when it comes to combat without... my skills, I suspect, are much atrophied without having practiced them lately.

It might be easier to select a different weapon to train in. But I know how to wield my own, and 'easier' does not necessarily mean 'better.'

In this particular case, I suspect it to be the opposite. I thought that casting my blade—the original Rakuyo—aside would allow me to move on. It did not.

That was the wrong decision.

...Last night, I was scarcely able to take it up, even for a few moments. Before that, I could hardly bear to look at it.

I will take this slowly. As slowly, I suppose, as I can manage without growing impatient. But... it would be nice, I believe, to wield my blade in the service of real, tangible good.

And I...

I did miss it. That blade remained a constant in my life for longer than any single person did. Casting it away was like tearing my own heart from my chest, yet I scarcely felt it then. I feel that loss all the more keenly now.

...I will take this slowly. Very slowly.

But perhaps, in the future... once I have at least regained some semblance of my former skill... well.

It would be nice to spar with someone.

[yutaholic]

Thank you for even making that post because I honestly feel like I’m going to explode!! Championing every issue is EXHAUSTING. I have such empathy fatigue. Bombardment of “rules”, behavioral guidelines, services, companies, networks + food brands & PEOPLE to boycott ALL THE TIME. Fandom is space many of us come to unplug from reality…it’s certainly my hyperfixation & ppl be like “well then get another one because you shouldn’t support–” IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. Fuck. I can’t take it anymore. Calls to action being in EVERY single place have weakened my mental state even more than it was before which was already on “pending disability” level of severe & now I’m just. burned t-absolute-f out….at everything!! I can literally FEEL myself unraveling. Kpop stans & their toxic activism can go to hell. They’re so worried about making sure to condemn others for “not doing enough” or being bad people, that they don’t even realize their actions are making them into bad people. This shit takes a toll on mental health, there is science behind this, it is real and what happens to human beings when inundated with constant terrible news, and it’s not just being ~too privileged to care~ but these performative mfs have no concept of blacklisting anymore and just want to assume the absolute worst about someone, call them names & wish harm on folks who are at the end of their ropes! It’s maddening! So even if compassion fatigue isn’t why you didn’t go out of your way to Denounce and Drag™️ him (bc you totally have the right to simply not want to do that on a fanfic blog!) I’m just glad someone else stated that this is supposed to be an ESCAPE. fuck.

Baby, burnout will fuck you up. Don't do that to yourself. Take the time you need and recoup. Life is a constant war and you can afford to lose a battle here and there to focus on your own health and well-being. Getting yourself back into a good place mentally will be a huge win. We both know the ppl obsessed with performative activism aren't doing anything from a place of compassion. The real ones are out there making change, not sending people death threats online from the comfort and safety of their mommy's basement.

When I posted the pic of NCT Dream and Big Time Rush, I wrote in the tags how BTR was something my sister and I loved and bonded over. We watched the show even though it was obviously a kids show and we were both adults. It was just something that gave us joy. My sister passed away years ago and anything BTR-related will make me teary because I think about how much we laughed together over it.

So the first thing I get are messages over how problematic BTR is, that I should delete the post or I'm pro-genocide if I don't dislike them. Ngl that made me so upset because I got a bunch of faceless people trying to taint some precious memories of me and my sister. If they came at me trying to educate me on things I didn't know that would be different, but it's straight to judgment and hatred toward me over something I posted that was totally innocent.

Meanwhile I get criticized for posting about a kpop group instead of reblogging every call to action post. I donate my money to these causes, but I don't post about it because I don't need my ass kissed for doing what I know to be right. I am 1000% sure the anons in my inbox that try to police me have never given a dime to anything, but are policing people's blogs for not reblogging posts or talking about it more.

I feel bad that I haven't been very active on here this year so I try to come on when I have some free time to interact with you guys. I make a silly post about Doyoung and get anons tearing into me for it like I'm his social media manager. Okay so because the world is going to shit we aren't allowed to enjoy anything?? Can't make jokes about anything. Can't show support for anything. Just wrong on every fucking count.

Believe me I am so goddamn aware of how lucky I am that I can sit here and say I'm very privileged that I live comfortably in the life I have. I know what's going on in the world and I do my part to help where I can, but I also have to keep functioning. I don't want every minute of my life to be seeped in anger, I did that for a long time and it not only eats away at you, it makes you ineffective in actually changing the things making you angry in the first place.

This was just supposed to be a blog where I posted my stories. One of the few places I could go and not constantly be reminded of how fucked up the world is. I've always said that people who told me reading a fic of mine made their day a little better or helped them escape for a bit were always my favorite. That was what I came here for and I loved being able to share the tiniest moments of peace and quiet with others through stories with guaranteed happy endings.

I'm frustrated because I have 4 drafts ready to go next year. I got the story posts done and made all the headers. But I don't want to post them. I have no problem admitting I'm selfish and spiteful. Even though I can turn off anon, I can't block these miserable people and I don't want them reading my stuff. They don't get to consume my content and then tell me to off myself right after.

A massive fuck you to those of you that ruined this blog for me.

[wander-wren]

today i am angry because lightlark keeps (kept? i think it’s dead) getting compared to the hunger games

i don’t know if tumblr saw the lightlark drama and i’m not interested in rehashing it especially bc some of it got uncomfortably personal towards the author at one point and also it was months ago so just! suffice it to say lightlark is a book by alex aster, it is a terrible book, and i did not put myself through the torture of reading it but i did watch a 7.5 hour video essay

(i think the essay could have been 6 or even 5 hours, and i think this person went a little too hard on the critique at some points, so that rubbed me wrong a little but it was also extremely thorough and i was bored.)

but anyway. one of the big things about lightlark is that it was marketed as “hunger games x acotar” which is….fine. but every time someone compares a book to thg i’m automatically suspicious because no one does it right.

and of course, neither did lightlark.

the book is a complete disaster so i will try to stick only to the relevant points but seriously. there’s so much.

the official premise of lightlark is that six realms in a fantasy world have been cursed for hundreds of years. each curse is (supposed to be) a twisted version of the realms magic, and the curses also cut them off from their main island of lightlark. except for once every century, when the island becomes accessible for 100 days and the six rulers travel there to try to break the curses via death tournament.

but then you get to the book and learn that the curses are only broken if a ruler dies without an heir, since their special ruler magic just transfers to the heir and no one gets anywhere. this was only a caveat so we could have a young protagonist ruler, i’m sure. ALSO, IMPORTANTLY, if a ruler dies without an heir, their entire realm also dies.

and obviously that’s bad so the rulers have to consider carefully who they want to kill, and they keep putting the killing off bc it’s not easy to condemn thousands of people to death.

so why, pray tell, the FUCK, are you doing a death tournament every century.

(they’re not, by the way. the first 50 days are dedicated to some demonstrations that are definitely hunger games inspired and meant to allow the rulers to forge alliances bc even though there’s only six of them they’re also required to partner up for some reason?? but there’s almost no fighting and almost all the fight scenes end very quickly with no real damage to the main character. it got really annoying really fast.)

but like, let’s pretend for half a second that lightlark IS about six rulers fighting to the death to break a curse. it’s still not even close to being like the hunger games.

the hunger games was about teenagers under constant surveillance forced to perform and then kill for the masses, many because they weren’t rich enough to buy their way out or into good training.

no one except the rulers and the essential staff is even allowed on lightlark, and no i don’t know why that is. and the characters spend the entire book trying to avoid killing each other as much as possible (well, minus two cases) bc they want to find another way to break the curses. i don’t understand why it’s billed as this big bloody dangerous battle even in-universe when everyone involved really REALLY doesn’t want to fight.

also, this isn’t related to the thg nonsense, but if i’m talking about lightlark i have to talk about That Twist. alex aster really loves her twists and is very proud that no one can see them coming but that’s because reading the twists is like watching the street for cars, then trying to cross and getting hit by an airplane.

as i said, the characters keep trying to find a new way to break the curse, even though it’s been 500 years and many of the rulers have been alive that long (no i don’t know if that’s normal or a ruler perk, it’s not explained) so they SHOULD have tried all of these fairly obvious methods by now but SURE, JAN. this book would make so much more sense if it was only the first century and everyone was still scrambling to figure the curses out. but whatever. alex aster wanted her protagonist to be in a love triangle with two 500yo men

(there’s nothing inherently wrong with that and i actually really loved grim, not for the reasons i was supposed to bc the writing was bad, but i liked him, until—well, put a pin in that.)

ANYWAY. THE POINT. our protagonist, who i guess i should say is named isla, needs to find “the heart of lightlark” which “blooms where darkness meets light.” everyone assumes they’re looking for a super special flower but they can’t find it. then, isla decides this random-ass bird that’s only almost gotten her killed twice is DEFINITELY going to show them the heart, so they follow the bird.

and at dawn, the bird lays a fucking egg. and it falls out of the nest. and cracks. and the yolk. floats. into the air. in time with the rising sun.

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW MUCH IT IS A LITERAL FUCKING EGG

no foreshadowing. isla has an internal monologue where she thinks she always did see the moon as an eggshell and the sun as yolky, but the yolky sun description happens twice in 400+ pages and the egg moon description happens Never, so like. shoutout to aster’s copy editor??

i can’t take this book seriously bc it is a literal egg an EGG isla has to carry an EGG YOLK to break the curses. there are scenarios where i could accept that but this Serious YA Fantasy Book is not one of them.

and since i mentioned the one thing i did actually like, i will explain isla’s one love interest, grim. technically her only love interest bc nothing about the other guy struck me as romantic but idk maybe her inner monologue was yearning or smthn. anyway, grim.

grim is from the least trusted/most stigmatized realm. he’s described as a huge hulking nightmare of a man, a demon, every badscary description under the sun. but like. the times he is alone with isla? he takes her to a chocolate shop during their first meeting and hand feeds her truffles, which is a little weird and overly sexual but…still. chocolate. then he hides her from another ruler no questions asked even though he has every right to be suspicious. he opens up to her and shit. he calls her “hearteater” (it’s a reference to her curse, her people eat human hearts to survive, no that doesn’t make sense either) (also isla is magically not cursed so our protagonist doesn’t have to be scary and gross and worry about that during the novel haha!) (guess what else is never properly explained….)

anyway grim calls her “hearteater” but like, almost in a teasing/endearing way, which is fun, and when they start to fall in love he just calls her “heart” which is ALSO cute imo i’m weak for nicknames. he’s like. the narration and aster really really want me to think he’s the scary bad boy but he’s just such a soft dude.

and then. ohhhh, and then. one of the other hit-by-airplane twists is that the weird sexy dreams isla has been having all book about grim? they’re not dreams. they’re memories. the two of them used to be together for about a year before the book started, and grim erased her memories as part of a plot to betray her yada yada i was braindead by this point so i don’t fully remember all 17 elements of the betrayal. but like…..first of all that retroactively makes all of their interactions but especially the chocolate thing kind of weird and creepy? also WHAT was the FUCKING POINT pf making her forget she loves you if you’re literally just going to seduce her immediately anyway. like. the book makes a halfhearted effort at having grim avoid her but it really didn’t feel like he was purposely being mean to push her away. because every time they did interact he was so sweet! sir!!

anyway he betrayed isla probably mostly to keep up the ambiguity of the love triangle and so aster could brag about more twists and i hate that bc WHY. he was doing so well.

anyway. i got so far off track. lightlark is a wild fucking ride and i did not even scratch the surface of the plot-hole filled mess that this book is. my sister does own it and i did check a few things bc i straight up could not believe they were real (like the egg. i cannot get over the egg.) so.

also this book only got published bc it went viral on booktok so that kind of tells you everything you need to know. the good news is it does give me some measure of hope/an ego boost bc if lightlark exists in the world…..surely whatever i’m doing can’t be too bad.

[alwaysinstyle]

A Long-Overdue RANT Girlies Appreciation Post

Tonight feels like the perfect night to tell you how much I love you all, and I apologize in advance for the length of this post.

~ Nina ~

My precious Pastel Woods outfit hype-woman who’s always ready to Style Carry™️ me onto the battle field, deceive the enemies with her iconic mermaid hair extensions and then KICK SOME ASS for the both of us. Darling, if your Pinterest board is any indication, you have me absolutely figured out and it is both hilarious and iconic. You are for real my Kenny-coded friend’s evil twin and I know without a doubt that you two would go full GTA mode on the NPC bad drivers to bring me an iced coffee (from ANYWHERE but the Bad Vibes Café). Speaking of which, I hoping you’re treating yourself to an iced chai, because you deserve it, you gorgeous and talented REAL author who I adore. Thanks for climbing up on stilts to give me a kiss on the cheek whenever I’m feeling down. Your constant kind words mean so much to me and yes, you did make me cry actual tears when you called me your IRL Superhero. Your dear Wal-Mart Taylor Swift sends all the love in the world.

~ Teri ~

Scary Teri, my favorite Ten Ferrets Stacked in a Trench Coat, my fellow road rage gal who loves screaming in the car as much as I do. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate you for biting the bullet and being the Cartman friend with whom I can make THE darkest jokes and tell THE darkest stories (and, of course, exchange graphic jump-scare surgery pics) without scaring you away. At the end of it all, you still tell me I’m vibrant and resilient, and that warms my heart more than I can express. Thank you for allaying my fears of becoming a Cynical Asshole (formal diagnosis as you all know). Thank you for making me feel strong when I feel weak. I look forward to many, many more unhinged conversations and overly analytic beta reads of your spectacular fics. I do, in fact, still expect to receive a package containing the buckets of tears I have harvested through Hourglass.

~ Riley ~

My dearest WARRIOR, sword-wielding protector Riley, co-sponsor of the Style Carry™️ who makes me spontaneously combust with everything she writes. We come together to form one joint Whump Deity as the Queen of Injury Fics and the Queen of Sickfics, and I love that everyone on ao3 GENUINELY lumps us together as one being. I don’t blame them since we really do be sharing one brain cell. It kicks ass being each other’s target audience because even with our most self-indulgent shit, mark my worms, the other WILL be absolutely blended. Whenever I’m feeling down, you’re ALWAYS locked and loaded with lizard pics and not to mention graphic illness and injury for my viewing pleasure. Your fics, bedtime stories and sneak peeks that are ALWAYS tacitly solicited bring me such an incredible amount of joy. I mean it. It was the sweet siren call of OJV that brought me to Tumblr in the first place. I am so glad to have come to the dark side and to have become a RANT girly, and I owe that all to you. You are the heart of RANT, dear. Without you we’re just ANT, and ants aren’t even that cool. Thank you so very much for being the ultimate hype gal, for being THE world’s best commenter, for reminding me to take care of Ye Olde Flesh Prison when I’m being terrible about it, and for worrying about me when I’m too stubborn to worry about myself. Your support means the world to me, my dude. Our chats and headcanon dumps have actually been the grounding force keeping me sane (ironically, since we’re so insane about Style). Keep kicking ass and avoiding creepy pizza men, okay? I love you so much and I love being NOT normal together.

@1moreoffkeyanthem @asteria7fics @boxwinebaddie

All three of you, and everyone else on this crazy website who makes me smile, THANK YOU.

[pixelgrotto]

D&D Deconstruction, via Goblins

Around the end of last year I made the decision to get into Goblin Slayer, and I've now gone through every chapter of the manga released in English, including all of the spin-offs. I've also skimmed parts of the light novels and anime, and I even did a readthrough of the Goblin Slayer roleplaying game with my buddy Daniel of Asians Represent, mostly to see how well it translated bits and pieces of Sword World, the most popular fantasy TTRPG in Japan.

In short, I know the franchise well by this point, and I like it, which is not what I expected. In fact, I steered clear of Goblin Slayer for years because of its reputation. If you're unaware, when the anime adaptation came out in 2018, it turned heads for depicting sexual violence in the very first episode. Basically, newbie adventurers go down into a dungeon, attempt to fight some goblins, and suffer terrible consequences, with the women of the party facing the sort of fate you might expect. It's a plot point intended to communicate to the viewer how awful goblins are in this world, and it also offers justification for the titular Goblin Slayer to show up on the scene to save the only survivor, Priestess. Goblin Slayer kills all of the goblins responsible for the attack, and he even goes the extra mile to unearth a hiding spot of goblin children. When Priestess shows some reservations at slaughtering kids, Goblin Slayer remarks that there's no such thing as a good goblin before stomping the little ones to bits.

In case you didn't know, Goblin Slayer is based on Kumo Kagyu's Dungeons & Dragons adventures. There's probably some influence sneaking in from Sword World, Tunnels & Trolls, and Wizardry, since those are the often-cited building blocks of Western fantasy tropes in Japan, but D&D is definitely at the forefront of the recipe. And knowing that Goblin Slayer evolved from D&D is what made me want to read it. (Well, that and the main character's armor design - dare I say that GobSlayer possesses one of the simplest yet coolest armors in all of existence.)

However, when I run D&D myself, I always say that all three of the things that this franchise begins with (bioessentialism, sexual violence, and violence against kids) are off-limits. So why does Goblin Slayer get a begrudging pass from me?

It's probably because I see the series as a meta analysis of D&D, right down to the tendency of most Dungeon Masters to get needlessly edgy with their campaign story arcs. Put another way, this is a 3.5e campaign where the star player has min/maxed himself around only one thing: the best possible build required to kill goblins. He's somehow managed to gain 15 levels by doing this, and he comes up with incredible battle strategies that the rest of his party quickly fall in line with. Every time I see GobSlayer pull off some ridiculous tactic to take down a foe, like the time when he links a portal scroll to the bottom of the ocean and proceeds to unleash the raging tides of the sea against an ogre, I can't help but shake my head and mutter to myself, "Damn, that's cool."

Then there's the more obvious fan service. And I don't mean "fan service" in the sense of pantsu shots or big boobed femmes, though Goblin Slayer does have a lot of that. (Hi, Cow Girl, childhood friend of the main character.) No, I'm talking about the fantasy roleplaying fan service. For instance, GobSlayer and his buddies fight creatures out of every edition of the Monster Manual. There are obviously goblins up the wazoo, but you can also expect beholders, drow, liches, oni, and even a mythologically-accurate tarasque, which shows up in Goblin Slayer: Year One.

There’s also a dungeon crawling aspect as GobSlayer and his party systematically plan out their roles and tactics everytime they delve into a hole in the ground. There's constant talk of who needs to be in the "frontline" and "backline," which are terms right out of Sword World, and Dwarf Shaman and Priestess are often chatting about how they can only use their spells a select number of times a day, which is that Vancian magic we all know and love/hate. Dai Katana, a franchise prequel that tells the story of a samurai and his comrades, outright feels like Etrian Odyssey in how it systemically shows the party tackling a megadungeon level by level, mapping as they go. (This does get repetitive over time, and I liked Dai Katana the least out of all the Goblin Slayer spinoffs. The characters have cool designs though, especially the mantis-like myrmidon dude.)

Finally, there's the idea that GobSlayer's realm, the Four-Cornered World, is a literal four-cornered game board lorded over by "gods" who are just enjoying a cosmic tabletop campaign. The more you read, the more this becomes clear. Everyone's referred to by their class or job titles rather than their names, after all, and a major arc in Year One involves GobSlayer assisting a mage who wants to enter the realm of the gods and "travel beyond the game board." After the pair ascend to the top of a seemingly endless tower (I do dig a reverse dungeon crawl that goes skyward rather than downwards), the mage disappears as her role in the campaign narrative that the "gods" have developed presumably ends. And last but not least, GobSlayer himself is constantly referred to as an average miniature on the battle map who somehow took on a life of his own by surviving whatever threats the cosmic GMs tossed at him. "He does not let anyone roll the dice," the tagline for the franchise goes.

I love all of this stuff. Maybe I'm giving Goblin Slayer too much credit, but I see this series as a deconstruction of what it means to sit at a table and imagine lives and stories for a diverse cast of characters, riffing off of fantasy concepts first assembled by Gary Gygax and his contemporaries back in the 70s. I can't be that off-base with this assumption, seeing as how characters in Goblin Slayer regularly "curse Gygax" when stuff goes wrong.

But just as Gary Gygax had questionable views when it came to a wide variety of things (like women, for instance), Goblin Slayer's got icky bits that can't be swept under the rug. This is a franchise that depicts female victims in titillating poses when they’re being abused. Goblin Slayer isn't alone in this regard - plenty of other seinen manga exhibit this nasty habit, including fan-favorites like Berserk - but it feels all the more annoying here because Goblin Slayer presents its assault scenes mostly at the very beginning for the sheer sake of shock value. As the series goes on, sexual violence disappears from the narrative almost entirely, as if Kumo Kagyu and his collaborators realized that it shouldn't have been emphasized in the first place. Instead, we're left with an interesting tale about GobSlayer moving through trauma (his family was killed by goblins when he was a kid, you see) and slowly learning how to feel again as he surrounds himself with the found family that is an RPG party. That's a good story, and a heartwarming one. Unfortunately, it's buried under a veneer that will likely turn many away.

I can't blame anyone for noping out of Goblin Slayer due to the sexual violence. I also can't blame anyone who doesn't play TTRPGs for not fully understanding the appeal of witnessing GobSlayer and his buddies strategize about the best way to defeat hobgoblins. But personally speaking, Goblin Slayer hit me in some good places, warts and all. I was fully prepared to write the franchise off as grimdark schlock, but it surprised me - and after reading up on some of its contemporaries, like Redo of Healer (which really is schlock) I'm further convinced that the series is smarter than it appears. It's just a shame that the smart bits are held back by the same problematic tropes that often cause D&D itself to falter. (Remember that whole orc discourse from 2020?)

For better or for worse, Goblin Slayer is representative of all sides of traditional tabletop roleplaying: the critical successes that celebrate imagination and comraderie, the critical failures that dehumanize women and veer too far into edgelord territory, and everything in between. The franchise has its problems, for sure, but there are moments when it shines - just like the glint of a well-painted miniature resting on the edge of a four-cornered game board.

[crmsnmth]

The Battle Of Depression

I speak so highly of misery and of the darkened corners of my days that I must come off as terribly depressed but I can assure you, I think that life is beautiful and overall, I'm pretty excited I get to be here

I lived in tears for a long time because of choices made by none other than myself and I can promise that living depressed is not as romantic as it sometimes sounds

It's a shadow that wraps around you and freezes you down to the failing marrow of your bones A cold that freezes the very air around you making each inhale a painful reminder of being sad

That's how people would put it Not wanting to face the fact that something was wrong with me So my family would all my bouts with depression They would call it my sad time And then they'd go about their lives As I spent weeks alone in my room, listening to punk records and staring at the ceiling I can still see the wood slats of my old room There are seventeen slats that make up my ceiling

And that would be my life for a few weeks Hiding out in my home made bubble Life would go on around me, but I'd stay stuck against my will, to the constant barrage of insults my own damned brain would hurl at me. I was in a self-abusive relationship

I managed, not well, but well enough To get through life one day at a time learning that easier to swim with the current then it is to try to fight against the flow Leaping out of the water like some kind of salmon

It would be years of warranted sadness until I finally got help in the form of a diagnosis There really was something wrong with me My brain doesn't know how to make it's chemicals right And with a handful of pills, we can make it managable. So now I revel in the misery because misery can be so very pretty and I'm not ashamed to say, I like pretty things

[cactusnymph]

holding hands 33 with the moon gays?

This is silly.

She's a cleric, Isobel is a cleric, Aylin is a paladin, somewhere over on the other side of the camp Halsin and Jaheira are drinking wine together and both of them have healing spells and yet here she sits cross-legged in front of Aylin while she bandages Shdowheart's hand.

"Hold still", Aylin demands and Shadowheart would love nothing more than to get up and walk away but apparently this thing's bite is poisonous and seeing as to how two of her fingers already turned a nasty shade of purple she probably shouldn't.

"I'll have my spells back after I trance for four hours", she says, pressing the words through her teeth. It is a constant battle to be touched gently like this, especially by someone as attractive as Aylin. Shadowheart doesn't want to think about how hot Aylin is or how beautiful Isobel is or how the two of them look at each other as if they hung the literal moon.

Shadowheart snorts about her own thoughts, staring upwards at the full moon in the sky. Surely it must be a cruel trick of fate to send her two Selûnite worshippers who are not only ridiculously in love with each other but are both so infuriatingly attractive that Shadowheart can't help but stare.

She tries to be secretive about it, that's her whole job. But Isobel especially is so damn perceptive. Her smirk will haunt Shadowheart forever.

Aylin's big, calloused hands are so gentle with her wound even though she herself looks terribly banged up from their earlier combat. Isobel is already asleep after almost dying earlier and Aylin had insisted... well.

"You fight well", Aylin says while she carefully cleans and disinfects Shadowheart's wound before grabbing a bandage.

"Thanks", Shadowheart says, trying her best to sound flippant in the face of this earnest compliment. It shouldn't make her heart skip a beat. She shouldn't enjoy this. She really, really shouldn't. "So do you, I suppose."

Aylin looks up at her with an unreadable expression before turning back to the bandage.

"You don't like it when people help you", she says softly. Shadowheart looks away and huffs.

"Who likes to be weak?", she answers. The fingers of her free hand are digging into her thigh so much that it starts hurting. Good. The pain is good and clears her mind.

"Seeking help is not weakness, daughter of darkness", Aylin says. Shadowheart wonders why she's even helping her--they should be enemies, just like their goddesses.

"Being dependent on other people is weakness", Shadowheart argues and Aylin smiles. It makes Shadowheart's skin tingle and her heart stumble. Gods dammit.

"No one can be strong on their own all the time. It is good to ask others for help and admit weakness from time to time. You will learn this eventually, I am sure", Aylin says and fastens the bandage around Shadowheart's hand.

There is a moment when the bandage is fastened and Shadowheart should pull her hand away. But she doesn't. Time seems to slow down as she stares at the point of their connection, her slender, pale hand in Aylin's way bigger hand, her knuckles bloodied and her palm dirty.

Aylin holds her hand there and Shadowheart does not pull away.

She looks up swallows heavily when her eyes meet Aylin's.

"You can always call on me for help if you need it", she says earnestly, her face open and honest and Shadowheart hates it, hates Aylin, hates the moon and Isobel and Selûne and most of all she hates herself for how weak her knees feel and how desperately she wants to keep holding on.

She pulls her hand away.

"I can take care of myself", she says and gets up to walk over to her bedroll, her hand still burning from Aylin's soft touch.

feel free to send me more of these <3

[gffa]

Sorry in advance if this is an incoherent ramble, but I have Thoughts about the Jedi and emotional regulation I want to share with you, if it's okay.

So I have ADHD and pretty strong emotional disregulation that I really, really struggle with. In my late teens/early twenties I was convinced that my emotions, all of them, were inherently destructive and harmful to others because of how intense they are.

My favorite Star Wars character is Anakin and I think you can guess why 😅. I don't really like admitting it but I understand him and relate to him sooo much.

Okay here's the relevant part: I love the Jedi Order's teachings about mindfulness and emotional control. So often I do feel ruled by my emotions! I can so easily see how embracing that leads to the dark side, and I know that staying in the light really is a constant battle against one's own darkness because I've done that! Without the psychic/telekinetic powers, obviously, but honestly it's a good thing I can't accidentally fling objects around the room if I get upset. I've often wished the Jedi Order was real and I could be part of it just so I could learn to better control my emotions.

It's why I just don't get the argument that Jedi "repress" their emotions. Where does that even come from? They have such sensible responses to such stressful situations. And unbridled unregulated emotion is NOT a good thing, as I know far too well. The Sith don't practice "emotional freedom" or whatever those people call it. With my disregulation problems I'm not "free," I'm even more shackled by it. I hate it and I want to control it- which is what the Jedi practice.

Anyway, just wanted to share my point of view on that whole debate. I also just want to say thanks for running this blog! I adore your meta posts and I love your unending Jedi positivity. You're definitely my favorite Star Wars blog. You're so good at articulating analyses that I can see for myself in the text but am terrible at putting into words lol. I'm sorry that your popularity attracts so many people who want to argue with you or be nasty. I hope you know how happy you make us fellow Jedi-supporters. 😊

Hi!  This ask was from before today’s discussion on the Force and emotions (here and here), so it’s good timing to come across it in my drafts again! You and I are in a similar boat--I relate to Anakin the most, too.  And I had a lot of years in my life without a solid grasp on my emotions, where my anger was entirely justifiable, but it was absolute misery and cost me a lot of time and relationships with people.  In the moment, it felt good to lash out with that anger, but I was consumed by it, that’s all I was so much of the time, and it really, really was not good to let my emotions run rampant that way.  So, I understand and I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that and I’m glad you seem like you’re in a better place now. While the Jedi may not be real, thankfully a lot of the same ideas totally are, like Buddhism is real, different kinds of therapy techniques are real, we absolutely can learn to regulate our emotions, even if it’s really hard.  You could probably even do a Google search for “how to learn to regulate my emotions” and find some good starting places! I can’t speak for any part of fandom, especially one I’m not part of, but I suspect that a lot of the “Jedi repress emotions” thing comes from a conflict of how mainstream media almost always supports the idea that emotions fuel powers, that if you tap into your anger or any other intense emotion, you’ll get a major power-up and you can save the day with it.  Think of almost any major display of power in a superhero movie and it’s usually because the character just had an explosion of emotion, right?  Because their control on their temper finally snapped or because they suddenly became tunnel-visioned about who they needed to save.  It’s everywhere. Star Wars, in contrast, says:

But we’re primed to think emotional regulation is suppression.  We’re primed to think that it’s not being true to ourselves, that we’re chaining a part of ourselves up.  We’re primed to think that any kind of sacrifice or concession to the greater society is suppression of the self. So, along come the Jedi who say, “Actually, emotional regulation is good.  Sometimes you do have to sacrifice things to make the world better, but the selfness love for other people is worth it.” we’re primed to think they’re suppressing themselves and living half-lived lives. But that’s not true for the worldbuilding in Star Wars.  Individualism is not king in Star Wars.  Selflness and care for others and the willingness to understand that life is impermanent and we have to let go of things are the core themes. And you’re absolutely right--one of Lucas’ themes in Star Wars is, "Most of my movies are about the fact that you're in that little place, it's the little prison in your brain—the door's open but you can't leave. But all you have to do is walk out and say, 'Hey! I'm gonna do this.'” (Sundance Q&A, 2015) and  “All of my movies are about one thing.  Which is the fact that the only prison you’re in is the prison of your mind.  And if you decide to open the door and get out, you can.  There’s nothing stopping you.“ (American Voices, 2015) The dark side is a prison in your mind, one you’re trapping yourself into.  You’re not free, your emotions are ruling you.  They control you because you can’t stop yourself from screaming or lashing out or destroying things in your rage, you can’t stop from saying hurtful things to the people you care about.  That’s not freedom, that’s being dragged along in the wake of your own unchecked feelings.  It’s a dark pit that you have to decide to climb out of. And the Jedi echo that theme:     "You said we would be trapped."     "Not by the cave you were but by your mind. Lessons, you have learned. Find courage, you did.  Hope, patience. Trust, confidence, and selflessness." --Yoda, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, “The Gathering”

[aishespoeticmuse]

They say "Time heals all wounds" but what about the scars that are etched on my skin from the battles I never wanted to fight in the first place.

The scars which are a constant reminder that even if the storm has passed, I still had to face all the terrible things done to me. And when the night falls in, I can't stop myself from tearing up. None of it was my fault and yet I had to deal with the after effects.

Perhaps time doesn't heal any wounds. Perhaps we just learn to live with them and accept them as a part of ourselves, a part which most people avoid looking at but a part which made us who we are today.

How can I expect time to heal the wounds that didn't come from it.

[floralcrematorium]

Bang The Doldrums is THE FrUK Fall Out Boy song... Hear me out

I think of it from Arthur's perspective at Francis.

"I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm When you passed out I couldn't bring myself to call Except to call it quits"

I'm imagining Arthur and Francis in a terrible on-again-off-again situation. It's awkward. Tension is high but they're pulled back to one another continuously. Arthur has a hard time talking about their situationship, and as much as he doesn't want to, he's able to finally say something when it's time to call it quits. Also the idea of Francis owning lipstick is something I hold dear.

"Best friends, ex-friends 'til the end Better off as lovers and not the other way around Racing through the city, windows down In the back of yellow checkered cars"

I think a good way to describe FrUK is "best friends - ex-friends." Ultimately their relationship is one of enemies, frenemies, or what have you, but I like to think that their relationship overall is a rollercoaster ride. They can have good moments of clarity where they're together playing whatever drinking game. However they're also bitter enemies and the two of them are just full of spite. A constant battle of back and forth. However the middle ground is lovers. Is it better to be lovers? Better to be together and crazy for another and not the other way around? While there can be strenuous moments, maybe the good times with Francis are enough for Arthur to have a moment to be carefree.

"This city says, "Come hell or high water" Well, I'm feeling hot and wet I can't commit to a thing Be it heart or hospital"

There's a lot of tension spurred lust in this relationship. That's all I have to say about that. However I think neither of them can really commit to to the relationship, especially Arthur. I think typically he's a man who doesn't know when to give up (in a detrimental way), however with Francis, the uncertainty of allowing himself the vulnerability of being ensnared in a game of hearts is what gets him. I think to a degree, it's hard for Francis to commit in the way that there are people who could treat the both of them better. Both of them are honestly a little lost in the security of someone they've known for so long, they know so well, and who they know will just leave them hurt and broken hearted again. And yet... They're drawn back together.

"The tombstones were waiting, they were half-engraved They knew it was over, they just didn't know the date"

The tombstone references the end of their relationship. I love graveyard imagery and the notion of mortality, so that's a personal bias. Anyway, going back to the first verse about Arthur being able to call only to call it quits -- I think the uncertainty of their relationship and when this on-again-off-again game will end plays into "what is the final nail in the coffin?" questioning.

"And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me The same way I think of you This is a love song in my own way Happily ever after below the waist"

I think taking "I cast a spell over the west" literally with the sense that England has... mage or magic abilities is a little silly, but it could work! I think it could also just refer to wit, charm, or manipulation? I like to think that with FrUK, it's a mutually obsessive relationship. Neither of them are particularly healthy about how much they think about the other. Whatever this back and forth game is what Arthur's used to. Bringing Francis down to his level is the love song? Anyway, "happily ever after below the waist" is exactly what it sounds like. Even if Arthur's called it off, they're back together again.

Better off as lovers... not the other way around

[all-mighty-axle-arc]

hi! What's your opinion on different phighters?

hello! i've made a little* list of my thoughts on each of them. (*//it's not little! it's a lot longer than i expected,,, looked shorter when i was drafting it during school. soo ya it's under the cut)

skateboard - pretty great guy! as well as a surprisingly hard hitter! it's fun to take him on in duels. biograft - subspace's wild creation. i don't like them much, but i have to admit that they put up a good fight. katana - nice guy and all, but he doesn't seem to get that i can be just as great as him. his blade is not better. fun to fight, but tough. he will not let up until his target has been properly defeated. ban hammer - not that great. he believes that he's just better, and assumes too much about me. i have similar opinion as i do with katana when it comes to dueling. i hate to admit that he's a tough one to defeat. it's even worse that he's blindfolded all the time! rocket - my best friend!!! love spending time with him! he's also very capable in battle, albeit a little reckless. i can't say much though, i get myself into trouble a lot. slingshot - it's terrible getting picked off by him in battle, but he's genuinely a nice guy outside of it! his cafe is always worth a visit if you're near crossroads. hyperlaser - i don't know much about him at all, but i respect him. he's an extremely capable sniper. he doesn't see how great my gear is, though. shuriken - he seems nice, but he's akin to a pest in battle. can't really keep him from getting behind you and catching you off guard for a cheap takeout. scythe - i know even less about her. i've yet to properly introduce myself to her. she seems courteous to some other phighters, but i'm not sure how she'll greet me. rocket doesn't seem to like her whatsoever. she's a true threat in battle if left unchecked. medkit - always an amazing demon to be friends with, despite his constant lack of excitement. he's almost like a brother to me, really. we've been through a lot! boombox - i like his style! he's a good support to have on the team as well as someone to just chat with. his shield can be a pain but i respect the need to protect yourself and your teammates. subspace - i don't like him. he's an overconfident nuisance. i know a fair bit about him due to med, and he lives up to the description med gave. he doesn't put up a fair fight in battle, unfortunately. vine staff - she's alright! however, i feel like she's a little too concerned about me, asking about my gear and such. she can trust me to take care of myself!

[shadowcrowncd]

Sofia : ❌ CROSS MARK, 🗡️ DAGGER, 👻 GHOST, 🩵 LIGHT BLUE HEART, & 🤔 THINKING FACE

❌ CROSS MARK — how would your life be different if [name of person] had never been in it? would it be better or worse?

"Jean-Pierre knows me better than anyone else. While I do not wish to be Queen, at least not actively, he has my eternal gratitude for finding me that day while I escaped the fires. I don't know how long I can avoid him these days and my father's too eager to have me marry him. Yet, a part of me still rejects that idea. I would be a noblewoman, probably much more into fighting than I already am or I would've perished in that fire. Regardless, we do make a great team."

🗡️ DAGGER — what is something or someone you know you can't afford to lose? how far are you willing to go to make sure you don't lose it/them?

"Myself, my family. I've done terrible things in the past and accepted my own powers in the process, but the stronger I get, the less I trust myself. My brother, Mason, he's one of the four horsemen, uhm," she stumbles over her own words, but regains some strength, "I swore to protect the prince. If he's going to attack, I'll stand first in line to make an end to his terror. And... Joel." she laughs, suddenly completely caught off-guard, "Oh, God, what a nightmare. Literally. I don't know what I was thinking."

👻 GHOST — is there someone or something that you feel is missing from your life? do you know if there's any way to find it/them?

"Yes, but I wouldn't know how to reach them. It's like a faint rumbling in the back of my mind, like thunder. A constant vibration. Over time I've adapted and learned to just ignore that feeling. My hands are aching to reunite with that person, but over the years I've accepted the possibility of my powers just playing tricks on me."

🩵 LIGHT BLUE HEART — what do you fantasize about the most often (generally/sexually/etc)? are there any people that are significant to or that you can see in this fantasy and why?

"Fantasize," she stops and ponders, then smiles abruptly, "I see patches of red and a dark hand reaching out to me. Completely black, almost like a shadow, it seems almost surreal, but whenever we touch, whoever that person may be, I feel comforted by that darkness. It's a comfort of knowing that person while not knowing anything. A feeling of belonging, of being understood. No, I don't fantasize about being Queen, I think my father set everything in motion before I could even properly find out who I am. I dream of battles and glory, to love and be loved in return. Too simple, right? Perhaps, they do seem to go hand in hand these days."

🤔 THINKING FACE — what three emotions tend to dominate your mindset? do you know why they do?

"That's such a strange question. I mean...," she pauses, knowing there were three emotions that were always, somewhere, in the back of her mind, "rage, because I've never been satisfied with what I've been given. There's this... emptiness, like I'm missing a part of myself and no matter what I do, how hard I try, this part of me is still missing. Next, passion. if I believe in something I'll fight tooth and nail to make it happen -- and lastly a sense of fear, terror even, about what's to come, about what I'll create over time. I don't want to be a monster but... I might be."

[denimbex1986]

'“When I was young, I was so sure of myself,” the Doctor tells Donna Noble early in the third and final Doctor Who 60th Anniversary Special. “I made a terrible mistake.” That bit of exposition catches up viewers who never got the chance to watch the lost First Doctor serial “The Celestial Toymaker,” in which Michael Gough played the Toymaker, the bad guy of “The Giggle,” now played by Neil Patrick Harris. However, it also captures the theme of the episode, in which the Toymaker’s control over reality and the weight of constant running finally catches up to the Doctor and forces him to admit how little he knows.

From the COVID-era satire of the world destroying itself in pursuit of individual truth to the weariness with which the Doctor tells Noble that he was “so certain” about his past actions, “The Giggle” stands as a warning against over-relying on one’s own judgment.

And yet, that same episode left viewers with a delicious, irresistible question: whose manicured hand was that?

After the Fourteenth Doctor (David Tennant) and the Fifteenth Doctor (Ncuti Gatwa) defeat the Toymaker at his own game, thanks to the heretofore mythical Bigeneration, a manicured hand enters the frame and snatches the last remnant of the Toymaker, his golden tooth, while the good guys are distracted.

Why is the tooth so important? Who is the One Who Waits? Whose hand was that? We’re not so certain about the answers to those questions, but we do have a few educated guesses.

Why Is the Gold Tooth Important?

Among the many boasts the Toymaker offers is the story of the Master, the Doctor’s arch-enemy from Gallifrey. The Toymaker recalls a dying Master coming to him and begging him to play one last game in a desperate attempt to survive. “When he lost, I sealed him for all eternity inside my gold tooth,” the Toymaker sneers before an extreme close-up on the tooth accentuates the moment.

It should come as no surprise that the Master would be involved in the recent specials, given his role in causing the regeneration cycle that led to the Fourteenth Doctor. As seen in “The Power of the Doctor,” the Thirteenth Doctor (Jodie Whittaker) regenerates after a battle with the Master (Sacha Dhawan). The Master appeared to have died as well in the episode, but that’s happened before — the Master is, after all, another Time Lord and can also regenerate.

However, the gold tooth trap presents a new twist on the Master, another indication of the Toymaker’s power. That said, the fact that someone took the time to steal the tooth after the Toymaker’s death indicates that someone is likely interested in freeing the Master, a weapon against the Doctor that some larger force wishes to use when they are ready…

Who Is the One Who Waits?

And who is that larger force? The Toymaker gives us a small hint while staring down the Doctor before a game, listing his many defeated opponents.

“There’s only player I dared not face,” he says with menace. “The one who waits.” But when the Doctor presses him for more information, the Toymaker only responds, “That’s someone else’s game.” The line seems to echo Beep the Meep’s own sinister warning about the impending arrival of his “boss,” who the Doctor will presumably meet in series 14. Gatwa’s Fifteenth Doctor will have to deal with the one who waits, the figure so scary that even the Toymaker had to run and hide from it.

Now, this One Who Waits could certainly be a new character designed by returning showrunner Russell T Davies. A number of interesting characters debuted during Davies’s first tenure on the series, including the Ood and the Beast from “The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit,” the invisible creatures from “Midnight,” the Weeping Angels from “Blink,” and… uh, the Slitheen.

However, as demonstrated by his decision to bring back the bad guy from a mostly lost First Doctor (William Hartnell) adventure for “The Giggle,” Davies also loves to revive a forgotten bad guy. One interesting possibility would be the War Chief, a Gallifreyan totalitarian introduced in the second Doctor’s last adventure, “The War Games.” The shrewd leader of the War Lords, the War Chief has appeared in non-canonical books, but has not been back on TV since the late ’60s. And since his introduction, the War Chief has been connected to the Master. In fact, it’s long been debated whether the War Chief is actually a regeneration of the Doctor’s greatest rival, so it would make a bit of sense that he’d be interested in freeing the Master as part of a new plan to take down the Doctor.

The return of Melanie Bush (Bonnie Langford) could also point to a villain from the Sixth Doctor’s (Colin Baker) time, namely the 1986 serial “The Mysterious Planet.” From his first appearance, the Sixth Doctor struggled with darker, more cowardly instincts. In “The Mysterious Planet,” viewers learn that those instincts manifest in the form of the Valeyard, a devious figure who represents the Doctor’s dark side. According to the Master, the Valeyard springs from “somewhere between [the Doctor’s] twelfth and final incarnation.” Thus, as the Doctor hurled toward his later incarnations in NuWho, the Valeyard’s return was a popular fan theory, with some hoping that Matt Smith, John Hurt, or Timothy Dalton would be playing the character.

Of course, all that has changed now that the Doctor was given a new set of regenerations in “The Time of the Doctor” and even more so with the revelation in “The Timeless Children” that the Doctor does not come from Gallifrey and thus has no limit on her regenerations. Given the emphasis on multiple Doctors since Davies’s return, and several references to Chris Chibnall’s run in the recent specials, it feels like the perfect time to bring back the Valeyard in a new, even more terrifying form. Of course, we Whovians have been saying stuff like that since Christopher Eccleston regenerated at the end of the reboot season.

So, Whose Hand Picked Up the Gold Tooth?

In place of wild speculation, let’s take a look at what we do know. After the two Doctors forced the Toymaker into a box, Kate Lethbridge-Stewart (Jemma Redgrave) quickly set to giving UNIT orders on disposing of the box. At the same time, the pants-less Fifteenth Doctor and the shoeless Fourteenth Doctor left with Donna to sort out the mysteries of Bigeneration. In short, we saw everyone doing something when the hand reached out to grab the tooth.

Still, that doesn’t rule out any of the people we know were at Avengers TowerUNIT headquarters. At the risk of missing the point at the end of “The Star Beast,” the hand certainly presents female and thus draws attention to the women at the Doctor’s side.

“The Giggle” did show Lethbridge-Stewart succumbing to the Toymaker’s madness, and while she seemed to snap out of it quickly, an element may remain and drive her to take the tooth. Some fans on Twitter have even taken to pointing out her red nail polish, the same kind as the mystery hand, although that seems a bit too obvious, doesn’t it?

Mel did show up in “The Power of the Doctor,” but we still don’t know much about her whereabouts since leaving the Seventh Doctor (Sylvester McCoy) with Sabalom Glitz (Tony Selby). Mel tells the Doctor that Glitz died after tripping on a whiskey bottle, but given the many lies and tricks we saw him tell when he was alive, there’s no reason to trust that apparent demise. Did Mel pick up a few tricks of her own? What if a Zingo is something far worse than just a thing to get a lift off of?

And how about Shirley Bingham (Ruth Madeley)? In her few appearances, she’s shown to be much more than she appears. Does she have some interest in the Master?

While any of these might be fun, the more likely culprit is one of the actors cast for series 14. One of the big names added to the cast is Jinkx Monsoon, a star of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Although we don’t yet know who Monsoon will play, we have seen the costume she’ll be wearing, and the black painted nails don’t quite line up with the red nail polish shown in “The Giggle.”

Meanwhile, Obi Wan Kenobi and Game of Thrones alum Indira Varma has been cast as a character called “The Duchess.” We know even less about the Duchess than we do Monsoon’s character, as we haven’t even seen a costume yet. However, with a name as a title, she could very well be another renegade Time Lord like the Master or the War Chief, which would explain her interest in the tooth.

Of course, the most obvious culprit would be Missy, the female incarnation of the Master played by Michelle Gomez, who famously wore red nail polish during her run as the villain. Although she has since regenerated into Sacha Dhawan, the Master has teamed up with past incarnations before, as when Missy joined forces with John Simm’s version.

And then there’s the least likely, but most exciting theory: the hand belongs to the Rani. For readers who have not spent too much time on Doctor Who message boards, the Rani is another renegade Time Lord, introduced in 1985’s “The Mark of the Rani “and played by Kate O’Mara. The Rani went up against the Sixth and Seventh Doctors, and against multiple Doctors in the 1993 Children in Need special “Dimensions in Time,” the villain’s last onscreen appearance. We’ve honestly lost count of all the times fans theorized the Rani was surely about to return in the NuWho era. It’s basically a joke at this point within the fandom: each time Doctor Who teases a new female villain, you have to immediately shout “It’s the Rani!” Up to you whether you want to actually believe that or not.

So, has the Rani’s time finally come? Is the Valeyard back to frighten fans? Or is it just a regular ol’ hand and we’re all reading too much into it?

Honestly, we’re not sure. And that’s a good thing.'