#it's a beste-glatisant

[jasonmartian]

The Questing Beast, or the Beast Glatisant (Old French: beste glatisant, Modern French: bête glatissante), is a cross-animal monster appearing in many medieval texts of Arthurian legend and modern works inspired by them.

The strange creature has the head of a snake, the body of a leopard, the haunches of a lion, and the feet of a deer. It emits a noise from its belly, a barking like "thirty couple hounds questing".

Over hill and over dale, Hear the hunting horn's wail. The chase is on, no time to waste, Mount your steed, make all haste!

In valorous pursuit of the Glatisant beast, O'ercoming all obstacles, from greatest to least! Through forest primeval or chasm vast, We'll hunt the beast till we catch it at last!

Body of a leopard, head and neck of a snake, A most unusual noise it surely does make. Barking like thirty couple hounds questing, It surely kept King Pelinore from resting!

A glorious hunt, steeped in chivalrous tradition, What ho! I hear it now, consign it to perdition! Galumphing 'cross the land on it's hooves like a hart, Arise sluggard, 'tis past time you did start!

Sir Percival and Sir Palamides hunted it too, Now the great quest has passed on to you! Gather your weapons, your trusty spear hone, The Post-Vulgate Suite de Merlin reveals all that is known.

Ride like the wind, chase down this foul beast, We'll celebrate your triumph, with a victory feast!

[mgrfp]

Monster Girl Romance Fiction Prompt #19

You trip over a Glatisant and end up having coffee and exchanging contact info which drives a wedge between you and your best bro because he's been pursuing her since 8th grade with no luck.

[oldschoolfrp]

See especially the Beast Glatisant / giraffe for one of the best medieval "bestiary telephone" creations

"Gnolls, goblins, and leucrotta hurl themselves across the last barricade in an elven mansion, as the defenders wield spells and steel against them." An unexpected mixed encounter in an interesting location, in Lissanne Lake's cover painting for Dragon 176, December 1991.

[focsle]

I’m sorry all your friends from the 1800’s are dead bro.

It’s okay, it means I have a habit of making my cemetery visits sound like social calls.

“I gotta give a book to my BFF William because he didn’t get a chance to read it when it was published in 1855, being that he went to sea shortly after and never made it back home; do you wanna join me to say hello?”

[psygull]

“saw this and thought of you” but it’s references to divorce

the only way i'd have it honestly

[cthulhubert]

I posted 28,458 times in 2022

That's 2,097 more posts than 2021!

78 posts created (0%)

28,380 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@argumate

@ernilthur

@sweetest-garlic

@bdigfreakingwooper

@preggo-my-eggo-meggo

I tagged 18,154 of my posts in 2022

Only 36% of my posts had no tags

#what can i queue - 13,722 posts

#words - 503 posts

#long post - 428 posts

#deja vu - 352 posts

#rationality - 240 posts

#endorsed - 213 posts

#frog - 206 posts

#goal body - 163 posts

#homestuck - 130 posts

#lemon text - 123 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#a wizard appretice has such bad ocd he discovers a conspiracy to rule the world and has to get a princess and her pet gremlin to save his li

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The worst thing about Blasphemous is that they never added Achievements for any of the expansions (fyi: all included in the price of the game now).

Stir of Dawn added New Game+ with three choices of “Penitence” that make the game harder (you can only do one per run, and each gives you a unique bead on the next NG+), a series of five new bosses, and a gold sink donation box that gives you a bunch of bonuses, including a unique skin when you max it out.

Strife and Ruin added a Boss Rush mode, a series of five platforming challenges (that are part of a crossover with Bloodstained), and new prayers and beads.

And Wounds of Eventide added two new bosses that you have to beat to get a new Heart which adds a second phase to the second to last and final boss fights which gives you the True ending.

I’ve done all of these now because they were fun but I crave external validation of the matter!

12 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#4

Bought a gallon capacity (four liters, actually) insulated water jug, mostly on a whim. It’s not bad but it doesn’t really offer much over my old stand by 40oz bottle beyond mild physical comedy. Every time I use it I legit feel like this:

12 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

#3

Blasphemous, a 2D retro styled action platformer is on sale for 75% off (6.24$) on Steam, on GoG, AND on Nintendo’s store for the Switch (those are all links). Steam’s, at least, ends April 4th.

There’s a sequel announced for 2023 and that’s an instant buy for me now.

I started out kind of lukewarm on this game but by the time I beat the first boss, I was kind of in love? The platforming stuff gave me some big old school Prince of Persia vibes (maybe it’s the instant death spikes); and the combat is fun. Some of those exploration/metroidvania elements. It’s “Souls-like”, though the difficulty isn’t really turned up to 11, it’s just got the whole “parrying, death means you need to go reclaim something, health flasks that refill, story is mostly in item descriptions or hidden away” kinda thing. I know it’s been done before but I really loved the whole “Evil(er) Fantasy Catholicism” aesthetic.

CW: Lots of blood and gore and some pixelated bits and bobs, if you dislike that. And obviously some, uh, look at the name.

16 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

"#arknights #I honestly enjoy the bafflement everything I see about this game (it's a game right?) induces" - look, it's simple: you play as a mesothelioma charity that inexplicably keeps getting involved in catgirl civil wars

I am now enlightened.

18 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Had another dream featuring tumblr mutuals and follows.

It was a fairly sprawling dream, and had something almost like an adventure narrative except it was really chill. Basically I went from place to place via various methods, accomplishing tasks. A lot of it blurred out of memory, but near the end I was at some kind of... distribution center? A giant blocky gray building full of offices and warehouses. I seem to recall it was a government service. I was definitely there with somebody else to pick up a large package. But I walked into one waiting room, possibly looking for water, and a bunch of trans and non-binary people from tumblr where there (I remember @beste-glatisant and @transgenderer, maybe @natalieironside?) and we shot the shit for a minute, and I mentioned how I’d run into TRAINS (I think but can’t be sure that this was something that actually happened in the dream, but I forgot except for the part where I referenced it later, during the same dream); which was... some kind of organization, except you always refer to its members/representatives as being the organization itself? The name is an acronym (and I think the T was for Trans). And all of you were excited and amazed and talked about how rare it is to run into them “organically”.

I was so caught up in pondering the implications, and the odd grammar, that I woke myself up.

42 notes - Posted February 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[july-19th-club]

and on some level she knows. she’s known them long enough, she has to know. i always read it as implied, and she never asks them to explain it. it’s not about who’s writing the letters. the letters are a means to an end. they say what she feels, they say what she knows the man (the men) she loves feel. it’s not about the letters, never has been, it’s just about the incredibly intricate rituals these people will create in order to articulate and receive love. so it doesn’t last. not about that either, just about illustrating the fallout of loving people so much you will let them fuck you up for as long as you’re alive, let them wash over you without ever touching you, let them keep you in the dark about things that would change everything if they were honest, let them leave you behind with the memories of what you had or could have had or almost had and you go on without them christ i feel like this rn

[ID: a blurry photo of a girl in a bralette and short shorts standing in a wide, low stance in the middle of a crowd of people. she’s leaning back, arms spread out, in profile to the viewer, and a beam of light appears to be bursting out of her chest and shooting up out of sight (presumably, she’s standing under a spotlight to achieve the effect). all in all it looks like she’s overwhelmed with power, maybe laughing maniacally a little bit].

the ‘all love triangles can be solved by polyamory’ thing is a little overblown (on this platform and only this one lol) except in the case of cyrano de bergerac in which case yes, of course, that’s the only way through, but it has to end badly. they all love one another very deeply, they are all to crucial and individual degrees ignorant to the extent of the love, they are all desperate not to hurt one another in pursuit of that love, and they are all doomed to fail. that’s the special sauce

[cricketcat9]

FYI, curing hiccups

by invoking OP beste-glatisant hiccups-curing mighty grandmother worked on me (not a relative).

Just so you know. 🤷🏼

[cthulhubert]

Had another dream featuring tumblr mutuals and follows.

It was a fairly sprawling dream, and had something almost like an adventure narrative except it was really chill. Basically I went from place to place via various methods, accomplishing tasks. A lot of it blurred out of memory, but near the end I was at some kind of... distribution center? A giant blocky gray building full of offices and warehouses. I seem to recall it was a government service. I was definitely there with somebody else to pick up a large package. But I walked into one waiting room, possibly looking for water, and a bunch of trans and non-binary people from tumblr where there (I remember @beste-glatisant and @transgenderer, maybe @natalieironside?) and we shot the shit for a minute, and I mentioned how I’d run into TRAINS (I think but can’t be sure that this was something that actually happened in the dream, but I forgot except for the part where I referenced it later, during the same dream); which was... some kind of organization, except you always refer to its members/representatives as being the organization itself? The name is an acronym (and I think the T was for Trans). And all of you were excited and amazed and talked about how rare it is to run into them “organically”.

I was so caught up in pondering the implications, and the odd grammar, that I woke myself up.

[mutantcrabs]

Dreamt that I went to Beste-glatisant's work and we switched places, despite us looking nothing alike. I did their job while they hung out with a shadow version of me. The place flooded, but this was apparently normal. They came up to me and told me that the shadow version, who was now gone, "is angry and she doesn't like you" (I'm not a 'she' but I suppose the shadow version was), and then they disappeared under the water, which then receded.

I knew I had to save them, so I went and found their annoying co worker, who told me the water drains out to a specific place and that I needed to hurry, and gave me used post-it notes to write directions on. I headed out, but thats when I woke up. I don't know if I managed to save them

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

I think my father is trying to poison me

Do you have an oven? I recommend putting the entire bottle of skittles into a pot of water in the oven for about a half hour and then getting a flame that's hot but not like, boiling and putting that on the bottle, then taking it out

If you don't have an oven, light a fire and wrap the bottle in newspaper

It looks like it's going to be a bad time

I'm sorry

[afrosarah]

@beste-glatisant new nightmare just dropped

i am fixated on this peanuts scene in particular. its so unsettling and dreamlike. lynchian in nature, down to the fucking sound design

[kirby-is-good]

@beste-glatisant

[interstellarroadkill]

@beste-glatisant

[bionelly2]

@beste-glatisant

when i was reading the book entangled life which is about fungi and the author merlin sheldrake said that once he got his first author copies he was going to dampen the pages and use them to grow oyster mushrooms and yeast and then use the yeast to brew beer and then drink the beer with the mushrooms to complete the cycle of fungal knowledge. i was like really and truly this guy gets it

[wielderofscythes]

@beste-glatisant

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