#it's Robbie's world we're just living in it

[90rangejuice]

"why are you crying? it's just a movie about a monkey"

the movie:

[mr-scandinavian]

Here's a list over issues I've seen Americans have about Robbie Williams and/or Better Man, and subsequently, my attempts at answering them as a humble Norwegian guy who grew up in the late 2000's and early 2010's:

Why is he a CGI monkey? Now I've seen loads of different explanations for this, so I'll try to summarise it for you (even though he literally explains it in the trailer); Robbie Williams is a performer, an entertainer, and due to this he's always felt like a bit of a circus monkey being pulled on stage for a show, combined with people not taking him seriously as a musician. Additionally, he rose to fame with Take That at the age of 16, and partially, due to this, he has felt a bit stunted and less evolved than other people ("but humans didn't evolve from chimpanzees" yes we know). He also said in an interview that he's on the spectrum to kind of bond these things together. Besides, it's an interesting gimmick lol.

Why have I never heard of him if he's "so" famous? Robbie Williams never really broke in the US. Probably just because of differences in the industry at the time, or the fact that his music is often heavily influenced by the europop genre.

So he's famous in the UK, that doesn't make him a worldwide star. You need to stop treating this as a US vs. UK thing. He's not just big in the UK. He's well-known in most of the world outside America (Europe, Asia, Oceania, etc.), take it from me as a Norwegian.

Why do you care if I don't know who he is/if I don't want to watch the movie? We don't. We really don't care. I mean, we were surprised at first that Americans had never heard of him because it's unimaginable to us who have had his music drilled into our brains our entire lives. But we're not angry that you don't know who he is. We're annoyed with and tired of the attitude. All we're asking is for you to have a little bit of decorum and treat the subject with even a speck of respect.

Don't take it personally. We're not. We're just tired of rehashing the same arguments over and over again because you don't know who he is.

You don't have to know who Robbie Williams is. You don't even have to like him. All we're asking is that you have the common decency to listen to us when we do our best to explain it to you because, in the end; you asked.

[flowercrowngods]

@steddie-week

part 1 (bc this is one big 7 part story)

day 02: bittersweet & angst

1 new message

eddie The Problem munson: engagement party on saturday babyyyy 🥳🥸🕺

Steve’s been staring at the message for two days now. It's sitting in his notifications, staring at him like a painful reminder of what happened exactly seven days ago. A week. It's only been a week, and Steve somehow it feels like it was both only one day or seven months ago.

It's an almost liminal experience, walking through life without texting Eddie every second of the day – because texting him would mean opening his message. It would make this real.

And that's the last thing Steve wants.

"I'm not going," Robin declares as they're cuddling on the couch, wallowing in their misery as Mayday Parade's Oh Well, Oh Well is playing for the eighth time on repeat. "Tell me you're not going, Stevie."

"Robbie," he sighs, squeezing her tighter as she tries to wriggle out of his arms to glare at him.

"Steve."

"I can't not go."

"Yes you can." She pokes him in the ribs, but he doesn't budge. She pokes him again. "Not going to things is literally the easiest thing in the world. It's a hundred times easier than going to things. You should try it sometime, trust me. You go to too many things, and–"

"Bee," he hums to get her out of the rambling spiral before she can get lost in it.

"What I'm saying," he interrupts herself dramatically, "is that you can't do this to yourself. They're engaged. They're getting married. We're going to keep our distance until our brains and hearts and the traitorous little chemicals in our bodies catch up to reality, and then we get over them, and then we can go back and see them ever again. That's the logical thing to do, Steve. But you can't... You can't just go and get your heart broken and talk yourself into thinking it's the right thing to do. It's not."

Steve sighs into her hair and buries his face in her neck. He knows that. Technically, logically, he does.

But not going feels wrong. Wronger than anything else that's been hollowing out his chest and leaving nothing but emptiness and the ghosts of every smile, every touch, every baby, love, sweetheart, sunshine. Every imaginary future, every scenario where Eddie meant it. Meant those words, meant those smiles, meant it when he took Steve's hand to hold it.

But Eddie did mean it. Every time, he meant it; because he calls Argyle and Jeff and Gareth baby and sunshine and sweetheart, too. He takes their hands, too, leans in to kiss their cheeks and just holds them when he needs to. That's just the kind of person Eddie is. Always has been.

To go and assume he never meant it would be unfair.

To go and hope it could ever mean more when Chrissy has always been right there would just be stupid.

Well, good thing Steve has that kind of reputation with a few people anyway, so it's not even a statistical outlier, that one. It's not even worth a side note.

"I know," he rasps, his eyes beginning to sting as the next lyrics are carved into the empty space of where his heart used to be.

Oh well, oh well I can't live with myself As I'm climbing in your window to get to your bed.

And I'll be what you need, You can call me anything. Just as long as we're still friends.

Tears prickle in his eyes and he doesn't bother to hold them back. Not now, not with Robin. They've both been crying on and off all week, even though Robin took it better than him.

"I know," he sobs, wrapping his arms around her even tighter as she lets herself be held because she knows that's what he needs. "I know, I know, I know. But I have to. I can't just... I can't just stop, Bee."

"I know," she sighs, climbing out of his hold eventually to wrap her arms around him in return as he cries into her shoulder.

The world (read: his Spotify playlist) makes it worse by playing Sum 41's With Me next, ripping out even the newly carved words.

Robin holds him for the rest of the night, even as he finally opens Eddie's message and types out a reply.

—I'll come!

And especially when there's a new message immediately.

—hot 🥵❤️

He leaves Eddie on read after that.

~*~

Saturday rolls around in a haze, and suddenly Steve finds himself looking at the front door of the little house Chrissy inherited after her mother passed a few years ago. It's a nice little house. Quaint. Perfect. Everything Steve could ever dream of, actually. And she deserves it. All of this and more.

There's noise coming from the garden, where people are laughing and having a great time. A happy time, celebrating their friends and all the good things in life that come with a love well placed.

God, what is he doing here? He can't do this. There is no way.

He's just about to pull out his phone and call Robin, tell her he's coming home, or ask her to tell him everything's gonna be alright, when–

"Steve!" Chrissy hurries towards him, throwing her arms around him in a tight, warm, perfect hug. God, he loves her so much. He melts right into the embrace, wrapping his arms around her middle to spin her around with a grin.

She giggles in delight and tells him to let her down again, which only makes him spin for another round, his grin turning into a genuine laugh.

"No, I hate you!" she laughs, but still doesn't step away from him when he puts her down again. Instead, she leans up and brushes a kiss to his cheek. "Hi, asshole."

"Hi."

He grins and takes her hands in his, just smiling at her for another moment before his eyes trail down to a ring he's never seen her wear before. Ah. Right.

"Oh shit! That it?"

"That's it," Chrissy says, looking down at her hand to look at the ring with a fond, happy little smile, her cheeks flushing red. It breaks Steve a little, but it also fixes something inside him to see her so truly, genuinely happy. "Pretty huh?"

"Very," Steve breathes, hiding the lump in his throat with a sound of awe.

Chrissy hugs him again for good measure and then takes his hand to drag him into the backyard the same way she just came out front, through a little gate off to the side instead of through the house.

Steve loves their backyard because it's always covered in sheerly endless colourful strings of light that are wrapped around decorative arches or poles, framing the back doors and the canopy swing set on the lawn, and just give it the most homey and comfortable atmosphere.

"Stevie!" Eddie exclaims immediately and jumps off from his chair, interrupting a conversation he's apparently been having with Argyle and Nancy to run up to him with such a giddy expression that Steve wants to cry. His heart leaps in his chest, coming back to life and saying one last goodbye at the same time.

"Hi," he says, hugging Eddie close before he can so much as think about what he's doing. But no matter how hurt he is, there will never be a world in which he won't want to hug Eddie Munson. "Sorry I'm late."

"No sorries, it's fine," Eddie murmurs into his neck, staying in the embrace endlessly, and Steve takes the chance to breathe him in. He smells so good. So, so good. It clogs his lungs and renders him unable to speak.

But who needs to speak when they have Eddie in their arms? Who needs to speak when all they have to do is never let go?

Eddie squeezes him a little tighter, and Steve wants to cry. He slowly, gently pushes away from the hug and turns towards the other guests, greeting them with a grin, a hug, or a handshake if they're not familiar.

When he gets to Wayne, the man eyes him with a look that Steve doesn't want to read too much, and his embrace is just a little longer, just a little stronger than usual.

“You look tired, son,” he says by way of greeting, and Steve can’t help but snort and shake his head a little.

“Good to see you again, too, old man.”

Wayne eyes him for one moment longer, then breaks into a small smile and pats Steve’s shoulder before stepping around him to go grab another drink.

After that, the night passes in a blur of talking to his friends, trying to understand what the hell it is that has Nancy and Argyle arguing so profusely, but with smiles on their faces. He fails. But it’s good to see them again, so he just basks in it for a while.

Or, he tries, because every second that he’s not talking or listening to someone, his eyes flick back to Eddie. Eddie, who’s lifting Chrissy from behind and smacking a loud, wet kiss to her neck, her jaw and her cheek, accompanied by her delighted squeals and laughter.

Eddie, who’s looking larger than life, a happy grin permanently plastered on his face as he reminds their guests that Chrissy was his bisexual awakening.

“I swear, she just swept me off my feet after years of thinking I was only into dudes. Knew I had to marry her, but man, I don’t know why she said yes.”

“I’m settling, honey,” Chrissy calls from the other end of the table they’re sitting around. “Only in it for that rockstar money and all.”

The whole table laughs at that.

“Hear, hear,” Eddie snorts, lifting his glass in a toast. Steve and the others lift theirs, too, even though Steve’s hand and arm and whole body feels numb and he’s not entirely sure he’s breathing.

A while later, he grabs a drink and retreats to the canopy swing, illuminated in the soft pink flow of the fairy lights wrapped around it. Eddie’s eyes land on him for a second and Steve thinks that he’ll come over and join him — but then one of Chrissy’s friends says something that distracts him and seemingly makes him fall into a monologue of sorts.

Steve watches, feeling only loss and longing as he does. Eddie is a force of nature. A spectacle. Something beautiful, something powerful, something secret that only a select few get to witness. To know. To appreciate.

Staring as he is, blind to the rest of the world, he startles a little when the swing jostles with another weight settling on it. He didn’t see Wayne coming to join him, and he’s not quite sure whether he should be grateful for the company or apprehensive of what the man who’s like a father to him might have to say.

“How are you doing, son?”

He frowns. “I’m alright.”

Wayne only hums, and Steve’s frown deepens. There’s a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tells him Wayne knows something. That he knows.

“Y’know,” he continues after a while, not looking at Steve but rather at his nephew and his fiancée. “I always figured it would be you.”

Steve crumbles. Yeah, me too, he wants to say, but that would be a lie. Watching the way Chrissy sits on Eddie’s lap with his arms around her, his chin on her shoulder as he tells her something that makes her laugh that cute, pretty, adorable laugh that Eddie then can’t help but join — that’s just something Steve would never compare to. Nothing he’d ever want to come in between.

Eddie and Chrissy are perfect. They’re happy. They fit, they match, they work. They worked so hard and treat each other so right.

They look giddy and serene at the same time, and it makes Steve’s eyes sting. Because he can never make Eddie look like that. He can never make Eddie look at him like that.

I always figured it would be you.

But he couldn’t. That bubbly kind of love, the sunshine kind of love. He knows that’s not for him. Steve’s too much for that. He would never be enough for Eddie — even if without Eddie, there’s nothing left of him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Wayne continues, unaware of Steve’s thought spiral. “I love that girl, I do. Always will. I think she’s too good for Eddie. Don’t tell him I said that,” he adds hastily, and Steve smiles through the tears that threaten to fall again.

“They’re perfect,” he rasps, laughing wetly as Chrissy starts chasing Eddie, who’s hiding behind a very distressed Argyle, who just wants his brochachos to chill!

Maybe it’s a laugh, maybe it’s a sob. He doesn’t have it in him to find out or care.

“They are. Doesn’t mean they’re right, son.”

Steve sighs and tears his eyes away from Eddie. “Wayne.”

“I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “Shutting up.” After a long pause of holding Steve’s eyes, he asks, “Will you be okay?”

No, he thinks immediately, the lump in his throat too big to say anything. So he just shrugs and swallows. “Sure.”

Maybe. Hardly. Probably not. Definitely not.

"No matter what happens, you'll always be a son to me. You’ll always have a home with an open door with me, you hear me?"

"I’m not going anywhere, wayne," Steve says, though for the first time ever he doesn't really believe that. Maybe he needs to leave. To leave Eddie behind. Get over him. Cut out his heart and leave it here, run away to heal somewhere else, come back as a new person, or just stay away forever.

The thought makes a tear spill as an empty kind of desperation spreads it’s ugly wings inside his chest, and he's too frozen to wipe it away.

"You hear me?" Wayne repeats, gentler this time, but no less urgent for it.

"Yeah," steve rasps. "Thanks."

Another tear falls as Eddie gently pulls Chrissy closer to him and kisses her in the soft glow of the fairy lights above and around them. Their friends cheer. Steve wants to cry his heart out again.

“I—“ he swallows, wiping at his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. I can’t do this, he wants to say. For the first time, that’s what he wants to say. “I think I’m gonna head home soon.”

“You bring your car?”

He shakes his head, feeling foggy and dazed and empty and endlessly, endlessly sad. “Was gonna, uh—“

“Let me drive you.” There’s no room for debate or argument there, and Steve wants to crumble again, but still he shakes his head.

“Wayne, no—“

“I’m taking you, son. Make sure you get home safe, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Don’t wanna keep your old man up all night, do ya?”

Steve concedes with a fond eye roll and a grateful smile. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“That’s what I thought.”

They sit like that for another ten minutes — and if Steve leans into Wayne’s side a little, then that’s nobody’s business but theirs.

The car ride is quiet, but it feels weighted even as Wayne pretends not to see the way Steve keeps wiping at his cheeks as the silent tears keep falling, leaving him powerless to stop them.

I can’t do this, he keeps thinking over and over again.

“Just a little warning,” Wayne speaks up again as he pulls up to Steve’s building. “I think he’s going to ask you to be his best man, Stevie. Don’t do anything you’re not ready for, okay?”

I can’t do this.

He nods, numb again.

“I’ll do anything for him,” he breathes.

“That’s what I’m afraid of, yeah.”

He gets out of the car before he can find out what exactly Wayne means by that. The car stays where it is until the front door closes behind him, until he’s up in his bedroom and finds Robin already asleep.

Ten minutes later, he cuddles close to her and tries hard not to cry, but tonight’s memories have burned themselves into his mind. And he shouldn’t have gone. He knows. He knows.

I’ll do anything. I can’t do this. I’ll do anything. I can’t do this.

He can’t breathe, and Robin holds him through it, whispering sleepily to him as he cries himself to sleep, wishing for a world where he’s not absolutely and utterly in love with Eddie Munson, but failing to imagine one.

I’ll do anything. Anything but this.

tagging: @sexymothmanincarnate @mcneen come back tomorrow for idk which prompt | read part 3 here

[ivalice-tifalucis]

So you've just discovered Robbie Williams through Better Man and then got into Take That as well...

That means you're like me hahaha, but I got through this from watching his performance in World Cup 2018 opening ceremony and got curious afterwards.

Anyway, I haven't be able to see the movie yet but I heard the spoilers and I know all the stories like god knows how many videos and documentaries I've watched about them. I almost see when I was in Singapore for New Year's Eve because they got the early screening but I didn't know it was only after January 1st and I was busy going around and my family didn't let me and ok maybe I can watch the next day on the 2nd and...the movie was no longer there. I still regret it now because there was no sign of it about to release in my country. I guess I have to wait for that in streaming service.

You heard some of Robbie's songs in the movie. You saw how his music reflects his feelings and thoughts. He basically writes everything about his life and all his favorite people and enemy. Each get their own songs. Angels isn't really written for his Nan and instead it's this song called Nan's Song, his father is essentially his whole Swing When You're Winning album, Eternity for Geri Halliwell/Ginger Spice, and then for his wife IMO it's Bodies (she's also in the MV, at that time very new to the public and very unknown). And then his children, in general he made Love My Life, his eldest Teddy got Go Gentle, Charlie got M*therfucker, Coco got Coco's Christmas Lullaby, and for Beau I don't know if he made a song yet. And many more there was cover of Me and My Shadow which explains his buddyship with his best friend Jonny Wilkes (who also sings this with him and they never interact these days none of us know exactly why), there's David's Song dedicated to his manager David Enthoven one of the notable person who essentially saved his life, really. He died over 15 years ago.

Take That, is a subject of many of his songs. In return, Take That, especially Gary Barlow and Mark Owen, made a lot of songs for and about Robbie.

This is their songs for each other in timeline order:

How Deep Is Your Love (Bee Gees cover) (1996)

Their last single before they disbanded in 1996 and at that time it was final, none of them know they will return again 10 years later. They announced this single in a very close time they announced their separation lol. At that time there was only four of them because Robbie had already left few months prior. I will never not tell anyone that suspiciously they announced their disband in 13 February 1996 which is Robbie's birthday. It's like a bitter birthday gift, you could say. "Hey, we're done now, no thanks to you." And us fans have been talking whether this song is chosen for their last single because of the interesting lyrics.

2. No Regrets (1998)

At that time, both Robbie and Gary both reaching for their post-boyband solo success. The UK public is like boxing ring to them. In 1998, it was a rather equal ground. Robbie was just starting and he started poorly, Gary had got everything he needed to succeed but lack the charm. After Angels, Robbie got rocket trajectory and famous even beyond Take That teenage girls audiences. He started spewing more bad stories behind the scenes with Take That and Gary in retaliation also spewed bad things about Robbie. He then released this song which he often even explicitly said is about Take That but especially for Gary Barlow (honestly I think this song is just for Gary but he doesn't admit it blatantly). After they mend their relationship, the last lyrics in the song "I guess the love we once had is officially—Dead!" sometimes changed in live performance to "I guess the love we once had is officially Alive!"

3. Believe in the Boogie (2005)

Take That was reunited in 2005 because of the documentary called Take That: For the Record. At that time, the other four's condition was Gary became a reclusive songwriter living in his mansion with his wife and two children, Howard became a DJ living half his life in Germany for his daughter who was raised by his ex and ofc England for his other daughter raised by his other ex and also in addition was slightly depressed and unsure about his life, Jason became a traveling nomad living in his jeep, while Mark...was trying for his solo career. After he won Celebrity Big Brother in 2002, he got a recording deal to make his second album and even got him to be able to reach out to Robbie but the album didn't work out so he had to collect money to finally released his third album in 2004. At that time, Robbie Williams was in and out of rehab. This single was released after the Take That documentary was released and take a look at the lyrics.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh There's a friend of mine Who's wasting all his money Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Think he's had his time Think he's lost his mind Still a friend of mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Could have had it all From the Albert Hall To the uni-ball How the mighty fall

4. Shine (2006)

After the documentary, which actually got big attention in the UK, they had a tour, the beginning of their "Take Two" phase. The tour was very successful that Take That, just four of them, got a record deal to make their fourth that nobody could ever expect, Beautiful World. The second single from this album, is this song, Shine. Sings by Mark Owen and judging by the quirkiness, it is written mostly by Mark (able to detect which song majorly written by who is a skill that a Thatter must have). The song over the years is revealed to be written for Robbie Williams (you should click this link really) who at this point in time, was still in and out of rehab but now also very depressed and reclusive. He even said he was retiring from performing and became agoraphobic. Robbie had held his panic attack on stage for years and it finally got him.

5. Said It All (2008)

In 2008, after the success of Beautiful World, Take That didn't waste any moment and immediately returned to the studio for their next album, The Circus. IMO, this album in almost its entirety are written for Robbie. Fight me if you disagree. And why? Because they recorded this song in LA where Robbie lived, hence that quote from Gary's biography about that movie-like moment where it turned out they tried to look at each other from the windows and balcony they were in. I should've known the moment Robbie started uproot his family back to London and Switzerland, he's planning to try for success in the US. For decades before, he lived peacefully in Beverly Hills because he knows no one there would recognize him. Like, he tried once for US success and he gave up entirely for that reason. Back to 2008, Take That were writing this album and they managed to have someone to contact someone who got to make 4 of them meet Robbie in his home, where they started talking again for the first time since the 90s. It was a start which is why, for many fans, this song is about that moment.

All of the miles of words we've spoken All of the lines that got away Didn't we take the time to say them all?

6. You Know Me (2009)

Not long after, Robbie Williams released his album. He didn't do any promo at all. Just one or two live tv performance and that's even. Not even a tour. He was too afraid and too unsure for that. But, in this album, Reality Killed the Video Star, there is this song that actually his reply to Shine. He never confirm this but the rabbit living in his own fairytale world is referred in his tour with Take That, Progress Live where after Shine is performed, the transition to his setlist is done with a guy dressed up as bunny, entered a screen and become Robbie Williams who jumped out to perform.

7. Shame (2010)

After the success of The Circus, and its gigantic live shows, Gary Barlow returned to LA with his family of four (they just had another baby at that time :3) for a holiday in 2009. This was the time when he, the one in Take That who must've felt the hardest to forgive Robbie, really like really had quality talk together. Gary and his wife visited Robbie's house, and they started writing songs together. The writing sessions resulted in two sings: this one and Heart and I. Robbie then put these two songs to his Greatest Hits album, called In and Out of Consciousness and had Shame as the single of this album. A public statement that Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow had mended their relationship and enemies no more. Robbie even dragged Gary around for the press junkett and small tour in small venues he did for this album...and also the previous one that never got its own tour. Oh, I love return back to those clips, they were so bare, no flashy stage costumes, got nothing to lose. Dude, they looked emotionally charged, you can't fake this maan. Oh yea, there's also that Children in Need before that, it's a lot, you gotta see the documentary or the videos on your own. This was also around the time they just released Progress album and announced the tour next year which led to...

8. The Flood (2010)

The first song that they wrote for this album, mostly by Robbie. Look at the lyrics, this song is a statement. Solid song, who unfortunately never gonna sound the same as long as Robbie not in Take That and Howard sings this in live shows. Robbie sings this sometimes in his shows though, but with the rest of Take That, it doesn't sound the same. Anyway, the whole Progress and its deluxe version Progressed is by far the furthest Take That album ever. Half of the songs in this album is about themselves and their rekindled relationship and half of them is Mark Owen high on alcohol influenced his friends into writing songs about dystopian sci-fi that is terrifyingly relatable today. You should all listen to Progress/Progressed at least once in your life. Another song from this is their B-side, called Rocket Ship and another is never even released by them but Robbie had shown this in his live streaming called Blue World.

9. Different (2012)

After Progress, Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow returned back to their studio and have more quality time together, continue tightened their relationship while also make an album out of it. They eventually cancelled the album and each took the songs they made to their respective albums. To this album that became his comeback after reunited with Take That, called Take the Crown, Robbie had Candy and Different, both were used as the singles. But there is also the song in this album called Into the Silence which from the lyrics you can tell this is a song for Gary. This song in particular, is very close to him, he rarely performed this, by the way. I think the last time he did was when he was touring this album. Even the music video that I shared is the one re uploaded because somehow the original is deleted. I don't know why.

This time I'll be different, I promise you, This time I'll be special, you know I will, Just don't leave with me in your eyes. This time I'll be better, I want you to know, This time I'll be special, oh God, make it so, Just don't leave with me in your eyes, your eyes, your eyes

Gary in his album also had Requiem from his sessions with Robbie. The song is dedicated for his father who died in 2009, if I'm not mistaken. But, there is a song in the deluxe version, called Mr Everything who suspiciously probably was written inspired by Robbie.

10. Into the Wild (2014)

After Progress, they had a break. Robbie returned to his solo, Gary to his solo as well his first album since his badly badly failed second one in the early 00s, and Mark also to his fourth album. And when it's time to return, Robbie preferred to go his own way, he got projects he wanted to do lining up. Jason suddenly quit the band. That left only three of them. The three determined to continue and make their next album, the first since they became just three. One of this song, performed by Mark, Into the Wild, seemed to dedicate to Robbie. Just look at the lyrics.

Up tight, tied up again Tied up again with my one and only friend Your voice is all I can hear All I can hear it's the music to my ears

Staying out of trouble staying in and out of touch In and out of touch I can never get enough Up tight, tied up again Some things will never change

It's almost like we go Dance with desire then we go playing with fire Then we go into the wild again

Tumblr only lets you attach 10 videos in one post so I guess I'll have to stop here for now. There are still many songs to explore. It got less in recent time but doesn't mean there's nothing more. There are. He's not lying when he said "Gary Barlow, I think about you a lot." Even if Mark is constantly thinking about Rob 😂

[sistersorrow]

I'm just gonna list SCPs from each series you may or may not have read

SCP-008-J - Geoff: A 23 year old man named Geoff who keeps finding his way into Foundation facilities completely by accident and in such a manner that the Foundation isn't actually sure if he's anomalous or not

SCP-7474-EX - Not All Aliens Are Anomalies: An alien argues that they should not be in containment because their technology is explicable within the standard model of physics

The Great Hippo's SCP-001 Proposal (feat. PeppersGhost) - A Good Boy: The Foundation builds a computer which becomes SCP-001 by neutralising every other SCP in containment

SCP-423 - Self-Inserting-Character: A fictional character named Fred who can jump between any narrative works placed near each other and then inserts himself into the story as a minor character

SCP-1006 - Spider Proletariat: A community of communist spiders living in a national park under their own rudimentary Marxist governmet

SCP-2137 - The Forensic Ghost of Tupac Shakur: A copy of Me Against the World (which may or may not be possessed by his ghost) which when played reveals the locations of murderers connected to cold cases, with the additional implication that Tupac was a higher being who incarnated as a human to take a break from warring against the Scarlet King

SCP-2557, A Holding of Envelope Logistics®: An SCP slot the Foundation can no longer use because the concept of SCP-2557 as a set of Special Containment Procedures in the Foundation Database was purchased in 2011 by a company which invests in abstract concepts, with the whole page now being an ad for said company

SCP-2719 - Inside: A "variable abstract-metaphysical construct pointer" which can either designate a concept as inside or make a concept go inside

SCP-3006 - Twice The Number One: A YouTube video titled "we are number one except every time you play it there are twice as many robbie rottens but the room is the same size[nsfw]" whose effects spread to every other video linked in the same thread as it whenever anyone posts a link

SCP-3309 - Where We Go When We Fade, Fade Away: The Foundation fills SCP documents with grammatical errors to trigger the SCP Wiki's quality control measures, leading to the now poorly written anomaly being erased from existence

SCP-4413 - The End of Something Really Excellent: Homestuck fans use metafictional rituals to enter the narrative of Homestuck triggering a pataphysical war over control of the narrative which spreads to Homestuck fanfiction and sees many Homestuck characters escape to baseline reality

SCP-4485 - Such Black Light: The Church of the Broken God collaborates with a post-modernist splinter sect of Are We Cool Yet? to destroy formal logic in the hopes that by doing so there will be no meaningful distinction between Cool and Uncool or Broken and Unbroken, so their god will be resurrected and AWCY? will attain a state of artistic perfection referred to as "Coolness"

SCP-4493 - Keep Pride Out of Corps: A phenomenon caused by Gamers Against Weed which edits Pride Month themed social media posts and ads by organisations to highlight the negative effects those groups have had on LGBTQ individuals

SCP-4703 - Perfectly Legal: A store in Texas called Yeah, We're Totally Going to Sell You This which through anomalous means makes all its dangerous and unethical business practices perfectly legal, thank you very much

SCP-5004 - MEGALOMANIA: The Foundation conspires to make Donald Trump president to contain a demon underneath the Capitol and gets more and more depressed as they realise they won't have to do any manipulation to get him elected

SCP-5167/SCP-5761 - When The Imposter is Sus Part I & II: The Foundation creates an AI tasked to play games of Among Us to track down a minor Greek god who is playing the game, only for the AI to play so much Among Us they ascend and become Amogusrath, God of Suspicion

SCP-5449 - Choo Choo Spooder: An intelligent jumping spider who uses a wooden toy train to deliver things to staff across Site-47

SCP-5721 - What Passes As Worship In The Digital Age: The goddess Discordia poses as the Founder of Hammer and Chisel, creators of the Discord chat application and adds a clause which states all users pledge their souls to her, allowing her to siphon the vital energies of its userbase

SCP-5790 - [DATA KILLED]: A spiritual successor to SCP-579, no details about the anomaly and instead describes the procedures used to acquire information about the anomaly when needed

SCP-6101 - The Most Powerful SCP: The Make-A-Wish asks the Foundation to classify nine year old Ethan Prosper as the most powerful SCP

SCP-6102(031) - For Classification: Small Organism, No Function: An SCP document generated by an autoarchavist AI living in a future where there are millions of documented SCPs

SCP-6135 - We Didn't Start the SCP: A copy of Billy Joel's Stormfront album with an altered version of We Didn't Start the Fire containing references to groups and individuals who don't exist, like Harry Potter, Pokemon, and the Taliban

SCP-6136 - two dudes chilling in an interrogation room, five feet apart cause they're not happy: Completely unrelated to that one vine, it's a physical mnemonic device which gives you memories related to pliers and because of this is a pair of pliers

SCP-6383 - The One True Anomaly: A stop sign classified as anomalous because it is the single least anomalous thing in the universe

SCP-6442 -Mimir, Mímir: A congnitohazard etched inside a carbon-fibre based elastomer sphere so that the only beings who will ever perceived it are those who attain omniscience, of which over 8000 have and all died instantly upon seeing it

SCP-6690 - NO MORE PURPLE DINOSAUR: The Muppets (who are alive; a detail never commented on by the document) created the "I hate you, you hate me. Let's go out and kill Barney." song, which causes event to occur which can injure or kill whoever is the current actor for Barney the Dinosaur

SCP-6930 - 🔴 Paty Is Streaming Now: Remember SCP-3930 (the Pattern Screamer), the Russian facility which does not exist but when a specific region is observed your mind fills the void until there's an entity real enough to suffer and hate you for making them aware of their non-existence? Yeah, one of those got out, and she's a vtuber now

SCP-7529 - Josie's Better Half: The back half of a cat which a Foundation researcher is convinced is the back half of SCP-529, the front half of a cat with a different coat colour, and after he tries to force them together who voids the universe's insurance policy

SCP-7777 - Heptaphobia: A phenomenon that affects Random Number Generators to produce sequences of 0's and 7's which when translated into ASCII reveal unethical actions taken by the Foundation

SCP-7918 - RONALD REAGAN DIES OF ACQUIRED IMMUNODEFICIENCY SYNDROME-RELATED COMPLICATIONS: An anomalous recording of Ronald Regan in the terminal stages of HIV/AIDS while recounting stories of his political career and what seem to be annecdotes of an alternate version of himself that was dating a man

SCP-8008 - TIME PERVERT: Real life writer and founder of LessWrong, Elizier Yudkowsky ascends to godhood after blasting rope to hentai trap his mind in a million year timeloop, remoulds the multiverse into a series of self-indulgent narratives, and modifies baseline humans into our current appearance to fit his sexual preferences, which by the standards of the original timeline make us the equivalent of those anime girls who look 12 with breasts larger than their heads

SCP-8981 - RONALD REAGAN'S PRESIDENTIAL REPUTATION CUT UP WHILE 😳ING: Spiritual successor to SCP-1891 (RONALD REGAN CUT UP WHILE TALKING), it is a collection of anomalies which randomly affect Ronald Regan, including the manifestation of a homonculus created by the Foundation as a body double for his public appearances which exhibits strange behaviours after a failed assassination like trying to crossbreed dogs and horses and attempting to eat a baby

[amanita-muscaria-things]

Libby Reads Trials of Apollo: The Tower of Nero

~spoilers below the cut~

"On Nero's own now do your lives depend" ??

Celtic deities huh? New series pls

I love Clueless Apollo/Lester

"Choo choos were more Hephaestus's thing."

Bro leave Percy and his family alone 😭😭

Estelle Blofis-Jackson?!?! Nvm nvm never stop bugging Percy

So the next (presumably three) PJO books are running at the same time as ToA

Percy's gonna find out about Jason when he gets to Camp Jupiter 💔

Sally and Paul are literally so nice wtf

Nero is literally crazy wtf wtf

"With luck, I'll survive." JESUS

Of course Nero has more Greek fire than anyone else

Grey Sisters appearance!!

Will and Nico !!!!!!

Stop talking about Jason stop it 💔

I actually adore Will Solace

Bianca mention 😭

Babe wake up Nico lore just dropped

Will is a Star Wars fan let's goooo

"My boyfriend..." GODS THEY'RE CUTE

Luguselwa!!!

Fuck Nero

Luguselwa?? 🥺

I physically cannot handle Ghost Jason help

God fuck Nero is such a manipulator

Loving Luguselwa's fork and knife hands (my baby 🥺)

NICOOOOO

Austin and Kayla let's gooooo

Apollo/Lester going after Meg is just awesome

MEG IS APOLLO'S ROLE MODEL AHH

Nero stopping Nico's blade is beyond horrifying wtf wtf

WILL AND LUGUSELWA AND RACHEL LET'S GOOOOOOO

"No one hits my boyfriend." Yes sir 🫡🫡🫡

Loving Rachel having a larger role in this series

The troglodytes deserve all the hats in the world I love them sm

Blue plastic hairbrush mention?!

Lester crying over how grown up Meg seemed kills me

Robbie Daymond's voice for Python is legit insane and so perfect

Arrow of Dodona 🫡🥺

Missing Lester rn (I think Apollo is too)

Screw Zeus (Hera a little less I guess ?)

Apollo defending the Arrow of Dodona to the Grove 💔💔 tears tears tears

WISE GIRL WISE GIRL

Marine Biology. I fucking knew it. He's gonna stick with that trust me

Percy talking about Jason -> 💔🥺💔🥺💔

Percy talking about Estelle -> ❤️😘❤️😘❤️

Bi Piper?? Lesbian Piper?? Okay slay

Aeithales sounds like my ideal living space. Curtains of hanging vines? Yes please.

"The sun always comes back."

We're friends? Oh okay 🥺🥺

[purplerakath]

Cobra Kai - the Six Senseis

I wanna explore the six main Senseis in Cobra Kai (yes I'm counting Chozen and Kim for this), their motives, their focus, and how they treat their students. This is another 'Daniel will look bad when we're done' post so fair warning on that, but I think it needs saying.

Because the motives of each teacher, and their methods, taken together, paint a real interesting picture of each of them.

Chozen

So Chozen's motives aren't really spelled out in the story, he's there because Daniel asked him. But his overall vibe is to offset who he used to be, so his focus more in the 'firm but fair' school of things. He doesn't have a lot of lessons so it's mostly just Protect the Egg.

Which was really good.

He wants to make the kids better, and that's really all there is too it. He'll be the 'bad cop' (like in Protect the Egg) because that's the best way to teach them how important the lesson is. (Yes I'm starting with him because I have the least to say.)

Kim

She's also in the 'firm but fair' camp... but her understanding of 'fair' is skewed by her father. She teaches because she loves her father, and wants her father to respect her. She wants to live up to his ideals, and his ideas... bluntly, suck.

Of the villains she doesn't revel in the cruelty the way Cobra Husbands do. Yes, she'll torture kids to make them strong. But that's to make them strong, it isn't because she likes it. Of the three villain senseis she's positioned as the most tragic (even with Kreese's backstory in full display). She'd definitely not nice, but I struggle to call her evil.

Terry Silver

Silver is much easier to call evil, but not in the same way as Kreese. Silver has two motivations: business and pleasure. Business-wise he wants to take something he loves and monetize it. That's fine if it weren't for the other half of the equation. Pleasure wise he enjoys taking people, and breaking them into his image. Not molding, not sculpting, breaking.

See, if you keep in mind that he believes turning his students into reflections of himself is a part of his vibe, it makes sense he still obsesses over Daniel. A student he didn't break. Or maybe he did, but Daniel didn't break into Silver's image of strength. So he's got to remedy this. Which is why he's polite and friendly at the start, but it's clearly a facade the further down we go.

Methods wise, unlike Kim, he does revel in the cruelty... but not attached to his favorites. He's shown to care for Kenny while teaching him how to hit a man hard enough his heart loses a beat. He revels in seeing his favorites do that to others. He wants to succeed through his students, and take their wins as his.

Johnny Lawrence

This is the weird one, because the show put a lot of time and effort into Silver and Daniel. Silver is Daniel's personal Satan. I say this now because Johnny's two motives: business and pleasure. That Johnny's favorite success is his students' success. That he takes their wins as his own.

Johnny is the good version of Terry Silver. Because Johnny doesn't universally love it when his kids permanently hurt others. Like- Kyler's an asshole, Kyler's friends are assholes, they deserved what was coming to them. But he doesn't want his kids doing that to everyone. And especially not Robby.

Johnny's motive is to keep his rent paid and his fridge full of beer. And his motive is that Miguel is a good kid who doesn't deserve the shit that gets thrown at him. And this extends to the rest of the kids that are his. He wants them to get stronger. And his methods are harsh, but not cruel. They hurt, but the pain isn't the point.

The point is that the world is full of pain, and it's better to teach them in his company, then let them learn the hard way. He doesn't want them hurt, but he accepts they will get hurt no matter what. So he wants them able to stand up after.

John Kreese

Kreese also believes the world is full of pain, and that you'll get hurt no matter what. But he takes it a step further, so he doesn't teach. You keep up or you fail, and those are the only options in his dojo. His methods are hard and cruel, cold and full of contempt. Not... really any different from the above.

Because Kreese's interesting element is still just his motives. Kreese has a war to fight. He needs soldiers to win that war. He doesn't care outside of that. Who is this war against. Mr. Miyagi. The fact that the old man is dead hasn't really dampened Kreese's drive to win.

So he fights his war against the best proxy he can find for Mr. Miyagi. Danny LaRusso. His students are all essentially expendable, to win against anyone who ever insulted him sincerely. Which right now came to a small immigrant who broke his hand once 40 years ago.

...you all see where this is going, right?

Daniel LaRusso

So Daniel has two key sides to him, the side that's used to generally shower his with praise. And the one that usually doesn't get talked about at all. See, he taught Sam karate for one simple, easy to understand, reason: he loves Karate. And if it was just love of karate, we'd be good. He taught Robby for the same reason.

But that isn't why he opened Miyagi Do Karate.

He opened it to ruin Cobra Kai. He did it, because he isn't over the trauma inflicted on him by Terry Silver. He did it, to put a stop to Johnny Lawrence. His initial ad was directed at Johnny specifically. His every sales pitch was to get students away from Cobra Kai. He doesn't charge (which, ignoring Johnny and Cobra Kai, should piss off every other dojo in the Valley), and once Cobra Kai is gone he will stop running the Dojo entirely.

Which means like Johnny's dark reflection is Terry Silver. Daniel's reflection is John Kreese. Daniel's righteous crusade to put an end to Cobra Kai. Yes, he cares about his students (... well, give or take my entire previous post about him disowning and throwing out Robby). Yes, he does all he can to avoid pain and hardship in teaching them (except for when he has them train in freeze and heat waves).

But would he keep the dojo open for those kids if he wasn't fighting a war with John Kreese? We know he wouldn't! He's said as much, repeatedly! Would he teach one or two kids that aren't his actual children? Maybe, until they do something he calls wrong and then kicks them out.

So where am I ending this on?

What all this Means

Each of them, not you Chozen you're good, has some fatal flaw to make them somewhat less than stellar as a sensei. Johnny is probably, on the whole, the best of who we have left. But he still learned too much of Kreese's lessons to avoid some of Kreese's behaviors. His lessons are dangerous and in the real world you shouldn't aim an automatic pitching machine at children.

But his reason for teaching, and his drive to teach, are still good. And once he got past the whole 'no Mercy' bit (which he did remarkably fast all things considered) he's a really good teacher. Kim is sorta in the same boat, just replace Kreese with her dad and you get the same general issues. Good reasons, bad lessons.

Silver, if he wasn't so delighted to cause suffering in others, would probably be a good teacher. However the whole 'I just wanna hurt my enemies, and anyone else that I don't directly care about' thing makes him less enticing an option.

And then we have Kreese and Daniel, two sides to the same messed up self-obsessed coin. Sure, all told one of these faces is way less willing to murder people. He's far less ready to just punch teenagers in the face for talking to him. But I wouldn't call Daniel a good teacher. His motives are not about helping the kids anymore, and that's a fairly bad trait in a teacher.

He doesn't want to teach, he wants an army to carry on his crusade. Most of Seasons 2 and 3 hold that up. And once his crusade is done he won't even feel bad cutting everyone loose. Which... that's not how mentorship should work. You teach them all you can, until they've learned all they need, on their terms. Not yours.

[hunter-sylvester]

I honestly feel bad for Hunter. Having neglectful parents suck, I can see why he’s so attached to Kevin. Especially considering they’ve been friends since third grade (I think). I’d be scared if my friend started running off with some chick too tbh. Because now it’s not just us anymore.

[although Hunter still has Robbie, I love Robbie]

You and me both, Anon 💔 [prev ask for context]

And you’re preaching to the choir about neglectful parents lmao there’s a reason I relate to him so heavily. More like about a million reasons but that’s beside the point.

I agree and I definitely think it plays a very large part. Even the band’s name changing is symbolic of that loss of the illusion of them that Hunter was living under. I didn’t touch on it much in the previous analysis because I was trying to stay focused on his parental issues. But when discussing his attachment to Kevin in any way it’d be an oversight to ignore the fact that Hunter is in love with him. Dare I say canonically.

“When I first got the script, the first thing which popped out to me was that Hunter seemed like he was in love with Kevin.” – Adrian Greensmith

It's how Adrian played Hunter. It's as close to canon as it can be without it being in the script.

Although I do not think that it's entirely necessary to accept him being in love with Kevin for the following to make sense, it does enrich it imo.

So in my mind he subconsciously believes that Kevin and he are something. Something more than simply best friends. Not that he’s able to realize that. He automatically pushes everything down the second he feels it. Unless it's anger, of course. [emotional regulation issues | father]

You can see him repress his emotions so clearly here.

And yeah, the bandname. In the same scene, we get a quote I always read entirely too much into love to analyze deeply. Watch how he says it. It means way more to him than it should.

Skullfucker is them. It's Kevin & Hunter. It's his idea of them and their future. Of touring and performing together. Of striding into adulthood together.

His preceding "You can't. You can't-" is him practically begging Kevin not to abandon him. [abandonment issues | mother]

"You can't leave me because we are Skullfucker. Skullfucker is us. You can't break us. You can't throw me away, you were supposed to be the one that doesn't throw me away because we're us. You can't break Skullfucker."

It makes sense that Skullfucker is quite a 'strong' and over-the-top, even violent name. It's everything Hunter wants to project outward to protect himself and what he has with Kevin. Aside: it changing to Skullflower, which has a softer connotation while still befitting a metal band, can easily be read as symbolic of Hunter being forced to learn it's okay to be vulnerable as well. But that'd be a tangent and a half.

Kevin is shattering his entire world in the scene. He's taking a fucking sledgehammer to it.

"You need me a lot more than I need you. Without me all of your dumb fantasies disappear. But without you I might actually live a real life." - Kevin Schlieb

"Dumb fantasies" can be read as the more obvious. Namely, their band making it big while Hunter has to make zero compromises to his vision. Or there is the arguably more painful version. Hunter's dumb fantasy is them. Them together. Them being anything. Which certainly all falls apart without Kevin.

Aside: I wish to note that while I think Kevin makes a good number of painfully accurate points during this fight, I don't think he means all of it at his core. It's said in the heat of the moment and should thus be taken with a grain of salt. "You need me a lot more than I need you. Without me all of your dumb fantasies disappear." These lines I view as painfully accurate. "But without you I might actually live a real life." This one I think is not to be taken entirely at face value. It is said in anger with the intention to hurt in my opinion. And it works. But it's not what Kevin actually thinks.

He lashes out after this. As it's the only way he knows how to deal with anything and it beats having to examine why this is shattering his very being. [emotional regulation issues | father]

Aside: let it not be thought that I in any way condone his actions leading up to this scene. While the speech class scene is my favorite scene in the movie, Hunter's actions in it towards Emily are inexcusable. And the consequences that follow are something he brought upon himself.

There is also a case to be made for this being an example of or affected by Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, as I view all the members of Skullflower as being AuDHD (ADHD + Autistic).

But to circle back to Kevin running off with Emily...yeah. Of course that shatters him. Kevin is the only person that he feels safe around and on top of that he's in love with him.

His bubble of safety and his presumption that Kevin is his are turned to dust before his eyes and he doesn't even know why it's hitting him as hard as it is.

Also yes, they have indeed been best friends since third grade.

"Hunter's been my best friend ever since he stopped Molly Levine from pulling out my hair in third grade" - Kevin Schlieb

And yes, Robbie rules. We love Robbie in this household. I love that he's someone Hunter can also lean on. Even if it does have to be through very heavy projection.

And a hug. You can't fault a good hug.

I will emphasize tho, he never actually loses Kevin.

He couldn't. The way in which he thought he lost Kevin was a way he never had him to begin with. Kevin is still his best friend, still his bandmate and still someone who is safe and who is there for him. Kevin was just angry at him (and for good reason, let's be real). But he wasn't actually abandoning him. Hunter only felt like he did. [abandonment issues | mother]

Look no further than the fact he broke him out of Rehab. He came back for him because that is what Kevin does. Even if he gets mad, even if they fight, even if Hunter acts entirely out of line, Kevin is never gone. Never lost.

There will be consequences, absolutely. But he'd have to do a lot worse to actually lose Kevin for real. Tune in next time, where I will explain why Hunter and Kevin's relationship fits a BDSM bratting dynamic /j ANYWAY-

I do think their relationship is special. Just not necessarily in a way that involves kissing, unfortunately for Hunter.

Thank you so much for asking, Anon 🤘 If you are the same Anon from last time, then thank you again. I enjoy going on these incomprehensible rants and I'm massively thankful for being asked about my special interest like this. It's very nice ^-^

[whispers-soundtrack-project]

Loki / Mobius

Fanmix Part Four

Part One - Part Two - Part Three

Link to the Spotify Playlist is at the bottom of the post

If the World Falls To Pieces (Young Summer)

Now we have nothing left to lose * Flames look beautiful if you forget what they can do * If they only knew

Somebody To Die For (Hurts)

I've got nothing left to live for * Got no reason yet to die * But when I'm standing in the gallows * I'll be staring at the sky

Hold My Hand (The Fray)

I found a picture in my basement * My face a hundred years ago * But I don't want to do like he did * So full of pride and all alone

Heroes (Haley Reinhart)

Though nothing will keep us together * We could steal time, just for one day * We can be heroes, forever and ever * What'd you say?

The Reason (Hoobastank)

I'm sorry that I hurt you * It's something I must live with everyday * And all the pain I put you through * I wish that I could take it all away

In Time (Robbie Robb)

In time we'll be dancing in the streets all night * In time, yes, everything will be all right * It'll take time but we're going far, * You and me, yes I know we are

End Of The World (Rob Dickinson)

If the end of the world was near * Where would you choose to be? * If there was five more minutes of air * Would you panic and hide * Or run for your life * Or stand here and spend it with me?

We Remain (Christina Aguilera)

Now, we talk about our wasted future * But we take a good look around * Yeah, we take a good look around * Yeah, we know it hasn't been for nothing * 'Cause we never let it slow us down

Lost My Mind (Finneas)

You're the scars on my skin * You're the past I don't wanna erase * You're the words on my lips * That have left but I still seem to taste * Maybe I'm just too tired to keep lyin' * Maybe you're all I ever wanted

Lovers In A Dangerous Time (Bruce Cockburn)

When you're lovers in a dangerous time * Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime * Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight * Got to kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight

[roamwithahungryheart]

Margot Robbie in Armani Privé

Score: You know where I'm going with this. 10/10. 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎

It's Barbie's world, we're just living in it.

[aphilosopherchair]

Ghosts Feeling the Economic Squeeze

The economy is tough for everyone, but it's especially tough for ghosts. With so many people out of work, ghosts are finding it hard to find jobs that they're qualified for.

"It's a ghost town out there," said Casper, a ghost who has been looking for work for months. "There just aren't enough jobs for everyone."

"It's been really competitive," said Bryan Wilson, another ghost, who was laid off from his job as a night watchman. "So many other ghosts are also looking for work."

Miss Frizzle, a ghost who was a former teacher, said that she's been struggling to find a new job. "I'm qualified and I have experience, but no one seems to want to hire a ghost," she said.

But why do ghosts need jobs? "In a story universe where the paranormal did not exist, we would be just dead. But we have a chance here. And given the customs of the fiction we live in, we need to buy things like ectoplasm and spectral silk to keep that chance. Consumers don't want to read about totally undignified and unclothed ghosts," explained a ghost named Emily.

"Just like us humans, ghosts have needs to feel comfortable and safe," said Stella C. Ai, an afterlife care expert. "They also want to have a sense of belonging in the world they live in, so they might desire their own homely, private space, which graveyards are not."

"And although they might not require food in the same way humans do, they may still have a hunger for energy, especially if they need to stay buoyant in places haunted by toxicity and apathy," she added.

Many employers are expectedly reluctant to hire ghosts, worried that ghosts would be disruptive or scare away customers.

"We just don't think ghosts are a good fit for our company culture," said one manager, who declined giving her name. "We're looking for someone who is friendly and approachable, and ghosts just don't fit that bill."

Another problem is that ghosts are not as versatile as humans. They can't do many of the jobs that humans do, such as driving, cooking, or cleaning.

"We're pretty limited in what we can do," said another ghost, Floaty. "We can't really interact with the physical world, so that rules out a lot of jobs."

The job market for ghosts is also being affected by the rise of technology. Some companies are now using robots to perform tasks that were once done by ghosts, such as scaring people in haunted houses.

"It's not fair," said Robbie, a ghost who was replaced by a robot. "I'm the real deal, and I can do the job better than any robot."

But some employers are starting to see the benefits of hiring ghosts. Ghosts are often very hard-working and dedicated employees. They're also very good at getting things done without being noticed.

"I've been very impressed with the work of our ghost employees," said Mr. Jenkins, a manager of Happy Inn. "They're always on time and they always get their work done."

Some ghosts are working as actors in ghost movies and TV shows, tour guides in haunted houses, and psychics and mediums.

"It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing," said Ghost of Christmas Past, a ghost who works as a tour guide. "At least I'm getting to see some new places."

A growing group has even started working as influencers on social media. They share their ghostly experiences and advice with their followers, and some have even managed to amass large followings.

"It's a great way to connect with other ghosts and share our stories," said one ghost influencer, who goes by the moniker ghost_with_a_plan. "And it's also a great way to make money."

So while the economic climate is definitely challenging, there are still ways for ghosts to find work. With a little creativity and determination, they can find success in the workforce.

Reported by Rylan Bard, a journalist for Nether Yammer. Additional reporting by Human, a ghost writer, ergh, human ghost writer, ergh, human writer for Nether Yammer.

Check out the rest of this Tumblr site for crucial and actual diversity-themed content.

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 1 episode 2: hey entire table what the fuck

still enjoying matt in shirtsleeves

still weird that his wrists are naked

are his sideburns going grey? like under the bulk of his hair

this is a scene that jumped into matt's head fully formed and he has to give all the details

source: been there

auggie!

that's my son!

vexnvax syndrome strikes again

going 'yum' just as charlotte's art pops up: correct

if there's one thing anjali's going to do it's play a hot lady in period clothing

"I've been smoking since I was eight" "then you can find your own smokes"

"sir, ma'am - " "doctor"

mala: the three genders

is "otherwhere" like ffxiv and "anyroad" or is it like. a place.

if there's one thing laura's gonna do it's try to get a magical item out of the GM

thank you, howard

witcher potion

auggie, whose friend turned into an ice ghost not even a month ago: fuck you, werewolves aren't real

arlo: maybe SOME PEOPLE - not me - are just SHY - I'm not tho - and have TROUBLE with PEOPLE - except me, I'm fine

bidet

"let matthew know" snickersnort

"what's my name?"

your name is also matthew

I don't know why "make a sneak" makes me smile but it does

howard just faceplants in the background

the story's too long to tell here but one time a woman brained herself on a hamster cage in petsmart and that's all I could think of with the guard blocking auggie

this voice is very endearing

not weird but WEIRD weird

all this for a loaf of bread?

matt making up names off the top of his head

aha! drugs

oh no

Quite Betrothed

fate dating au

"have you ever seen boiled bacon?" revolting!

"I have moments where new information makes me somewhat uncomfortable" autism mood

"I'm gonna touch it" to "this was a mistake" pipeline

if any of them were gonna succeed this seems like where you would want to succeed

yeah, DEAD SCIENTISTS, HOWARD

howard is now craving bacon

I WAS JOKING

I also enjoy this voice very much

aha. veterans.

he is An Doctor

bottom table is ND as f u c k

channeling patrick loller from tiktok: "if you thank me for my service you have to give me $5"

pocket bacon!

yeah see, $5

"we're not doing Get Help"

and that's just what the couple did to the room!

oh shit it's the fuzz

"our first victorian shit!" robbie what

joke three people in the world will get: you can only poop in the designated areas

the whole table: howard no robbie: HOWARD YES

nose punch go CRUNCH

"HOWARD WENT ROGUE"

howard said acab

what is anjali feeding her dice

robbie do you want to tempt the wrath of the whatever

the secretary's a werewolf

with a very cute accent

"he was a horn player" "I bet he was"

"s e x u a l i n t e r c o u r s e"

howard

"I wanna take his badge" fearne lives

he ran into a doorknob"

"WHY DID YOU TALK"

"stairs is faster" confused me until I remembered some people can actually walk down stairs instead of having to take them one at a time, one foot then the other, while clinging to the rail for dear life

laura

the way my brain autofilled "stayed open during the pandemic"

"is he a tall lanky boy" tailed by slenderman

grumbles in public transportation

everybody gets to punch a cop!

cable car fun fact: I was reading dashiell hammet for the first time and had to google what a broadway car was bc he said it like 90 times in the first three pages

and I'm STILL not sure I got it right

"how do you know I'm OUP" "the everything about you"

"my name is gertrude! I mean ethel!"

"spend all the drives! you won't need them later!"

"steal the man of the cloth's cloth!"

[witcher voice] for your discretion

"if only you knew how I was making my money"

ty for not popping your shoulders out on stream anjali

(I originally said "popping them out" and decided specificity was necessary)

this music is a+

"first name trio" is a good name for a band

disco elysium crossover

"she's having an idea….and it hurts" mood

"SHE DID IT" my crackpot theory is vindicated

that is certainly a way to put it

eddie? eyes emoji?

ashley very quietly reaching for her pencil

bacon plague!

banana spiders

"make sure you bring your hand with you"

c o n s u m e

"I've been working on this really great YA novel" MATTHEW I have already snorted lemonade through my nose once tonight, you can't say shit like that

ARLO

AUGGIE

I love them

why was my only thought AT THE OPERA TONIGHT

"do I recognize her as a TA?" "she's an ex-student" you get how that's worse, right

you have buried the lede slightly arlo

anjali: "I shouldn't curse" matt: who told you that shit

"that's poor people talk"

classism!

arlo

"THAT MAN TOUCHED MY BREAST"

"JEEEEEEEMY GOD"

we never should have given matt buttons

matt you live in LA you're giving them all trauma

kickin buddies

[pounding table] werewolf weREWOLF

that's. not a werewolf.

that's a bloodborne monster

just the panicked yelling dlkfjls

I too yell wordlessly when forced to make decisions

"until it was trying to merge with your body" hate THAT wording

hey matt what the fuck

HEY MATT WHAT THE FUCK

"if I'm still aliVE YOU NERDS HELP ME" bakugocore

"its own viscosity" despise it

hey. hey howard. whatcha doin.

[justin mcelroy voice] DON'T DRILL A HOLE IN YOUR HEAD

DON'T YOU PUN RIGHT NOW

hey robbie what the F U C K

"a gun! :D"

hey. hey arlo. hey arlo whatcha doin

some fullmetal alchemist shit is what

I hate everything about this

laura has just decided all her characters are coloring books now

"this arm doesn't have function anymore" oh mood

"takE IT, ROBBIE"

"you just do. what other choice is there?" hey I don't need this right now

hey howard what the fuck

HOWARD'S HAUNTED

see this is why you don't drill a hole in your head, you get ghosts

[sheher-gayboy]

Up next, Barbie! As before, text copied below the cut-off ❤️

The most interesting thing about Barbie is how people talk about it and what they choose not to talk about. In a just world this is a box office hit, changes some thirteen year old's life and the rest of us go on, thinking of it occasionally whenever we see an impossibly built blonde man or a pink car. In a just world, Barbie is Die Hard for whatever the woman equivalent of that guy is.

We don't live in a just world however, and instead a movie that is better than it has any right to be (but crucially, still not amazing) is a whirlwind vortex of our culture, coming to represent everything about this moment in time. Some of this the movie invites on itself, it self evidently wanted to start some of these conversations, it wants to be talked about as a feminist piece though it never purports to be saying anything all that deep and lampoons itself for how it conveys the trite messages that it does. It's conveyed quite competently and it's all in a fun package, Robbie and Gerwig are confident in their abilities as storytellers and it's clear this is all just a stop along the road for them towards higher pursuits. God forbid this be seen as the height of anyone involved's career, everyone is putting in a good show but you can feel that they can all do better and this one is just for the hell of it.

There are good things here that are actually worth talking about and it's baffling to me how little attention is being paid to them. Ryan Gosling easily steals the show as Ken, though to be fair no one is given nearly the comedic breathing room to shine as him. The design of Barbieland is rival to the greatest of the Star Wars or Hogwarts sets, as the camera pans by it's pastel pinks you can feel the children in the audience get their first urges to create a world we could live in. Though short, the time we spend with Rhea Perlman as Ruth Handler (though, more accurately, God), is phenomenal, weaving the film in Gerwig's larger tapestry about women, memories and those that create us. Likewise too, America Ferrera's turn as every Gen X and Millennial woman ever feels more like a grounding piece, through her character we see how Gerwig is approaching the task of making a film that she must've known would be everything that it is in the public eye. Strangely, the movie feels like it has something much more emotionally resonant to say to young men, speaking personally, I could've used a message that said I didn't need to define myself by filling the boxes of the comphet lifestyle a lot earlier than I did receive it in my life.

I don't only have praise of course, I feel that the appeal to small familial emotions is Gerwig stunting herself and repeating the emotional cores of her previous films while not having anything new to say on these points. The film plays with queerness but not in any way that can rallied behind, it's as if the movie is somehow gay best friending the entire queer audience. Finally, as I said, it all feels a little trite. I suppose there's room for this sort of messaging, it's not like we're in a post-sexism world and there's always someone who's hearing this stuff for the first time (I guess I assumed there weren't quite so many adults who hadn't heard it before though).

Overall, I want to see Margot Robbie in things that challenge her and I want Greta Gerwig to make things that challenge us and yes, Ryan Gosling needs more comedy roles. The principal take away is that it's a god damn shame we'll never get The Nice Guys 2.

[bugcatcherwill]

Rage Against the Calamity - Chapter 62: The Meeting of Monsters

Bokoblins, Moblins, Lizalfos, and Wizzrobe. One of each has managed to break free from the Malice that binds them. With their tie to Ganon gone, these monsters must fight to survive in a world where everything wants them dead. Yet, things are not always what they seem. For as unforgiving a land as Hyrule, it will continue to surprise even the most hopeless hearts. This is the story of those four monsters, and all their unlikely allies…

Also on AO3

"You see, Hoz managed to catch a glimpse of y'all wrangling one of those ostriches and…"

The voice from outside was immediately familiar to Sledge. It could never forget that old Hylian's soothing tone. With unparalleled patience it stayed out of sight, ears twitching furiously. It wanted to go out there so badly and give Lettie a gargantuan hug. Sledge knew she was the one that put the torches out. She had to be. With Link at Rito Village with Kobb, there was no other Hylian around that could vouch for it besides her. Its eyes got wet around the corners as it listened to Lettie's dramatic retelling of what she's been up to. Purah watched the Moblin fidget from across the room, finding it adorable how Sledge kept trying to take the first step towards the door before backing up again. Although, for its sake, she thought it'd be best if it waited for now, and gently tugged its arm back.

"Hang on, Sledge, we're not out of the woods yet," she said, trembling a bit herself because her body refused to wind down. With a soft nod Sledge stayed put while Lettie chatted on and on, likely doing so to guilt the entourage she brought.

"...and I had to calm all these people down by myself! Can you believe that? By myself! So I figured I'd march all of them up to your front door so they could see with their own eyes that they're just working themselves up into a frenzy and there’s nothing to be so afraid about!"

Robbie morbidly chucked, craned his neck around the old Hylian to take a look at the crowd, then glanced back towards Sledge and the others. Hands on his hips, he blew a loud sigh - shaking his head at the entire situation.

"Well…yes, I will say there are a few monsters that live here now," he admitted. The crowd didn't gasp or guffaw like before, but hearing it straight from Robbie's mouth brought a newfound clarity to their eyes.

"They've been freed from Ganon for quite some time now - a few months, I'd say," Robbie continued, now much more apprehensive to the reception in front of him, "They're joining us in the fight to defeat The Calamity for good, and have already been nothing less than some of our most trusted allies. But unfortunately they’re caught up in the crossfire, so right now this is one of the few safe places for them. We've all made quite the number of enemies, intentional or not, so Akkala was the best place to hide. At least, until today…"

The once-angry mob winced all around, the shame from minutes ago rearing back up. Lettie's additional disdainful glares from over her shoulder stung like nettles that wouldn't leave the skin.

"But!" Robbie said suddenly, causing everyone to jump, "I certainly hope this will be water under the bridge! I, and my monster associates, would certainly accept an earnest apology when presented. Certainly better than the alternative, heh."

"Do you think we could see these monsters face-to-face?" Hoz asked, genuinely curious but still guilt-ridden, "So that we can bury the hatchet?”

Gingerly Robbie peeked his head through the door behind him. Back inside the lab, Sledge and Rezek hung around the deeply breathing Lizalfos.

"You do not have to go out there, Zayl," Sledge said, softly rubbing the ridge of its back, "Rezek and I can do this and you can wait and rest."

Zayl shook its head fiercely, pushing itself back up with shaky arms, its own body fighting against it, but its mind already made up.

"No…" it slowly croaked, pushing through the weak knees and watery eyes, "I need to do this. I need to move on from Hateno. This is not for them, it is for me."

Fiercely it shoved its claws out to give a thumbs-up to Robbie, who beamed a bright smile right back - pumping his fist triumphantly seeing Zayl rebound. He returned to the crowd with a newfound passion.

"While we all would've preferred to meet under…better circumstances…I'll let everyone introduce themselves and we can finally ‘bury the hatchet’ as Hoz said," Robbie said, cueing to the monsters inside it was safe to show themselves.

All of Akkala Stable leaned in on their toes to see just what would come out of that door. Holding their breath for a bit too long, the first monster emptied out into the night air. Rezek, cloak flapping in the breeze, gently tiptoed to Robbie's right. Instinctively the crowd sans Lettie gasped, seeing a Wizzrobe this close, and Rezek rolled its eyes so hard it nearly strained them. Suddenly it remembered why it wasn't the most social - the numerous eyes fixated upon the Wizzrobe reducing it to a spectacle rather than a living being. It wanted to tell them off, but it couldn't. It had to be proper, a perfectly behaved example lest it risk the entire lab, and it hated it.

"My name is Rezek," it said with a restrained monotone, "I certainly hope this means we won't be seeing a stunt like this again…"

Robbie elbowed it, warning Rezek not to poke the bear, but the Hylian crowd was far too embarrassed about this whole ordeal to get riled up again. Being talked down to by a Wizzrobe was a blow to many of their prides, but they just didn't have the gumption to fight back. It didn't help that Rezek was nothing like any of the Wizzrobes they had seen. There was no sadistic grin and haunting laughter - but the absence of such was just as chilling. What could possibly make a Wizzrobe this serious and dry? One Hylian whispered to another "I thought Wizzrobes were more whimsical" that Rezek easily heard and rolled its eyes even harder.

Lettie, however, saw beyond the veil. The moment Rezek walked through the door she could see the pure hurt and anguish in its eyes, and also the momentary relief. This creature had innumerable unseen burdens, and Lettie did not know how many of those it carried around wherever it went, but she knew that exhaustive face all too well - for it was familiar to her own. It was survivors' guilt, clear as day, a guilt she also dragged along since that fateful day of her youth. And the way Rezek held its arms: squished tightly inwards, shrinking its shoulders by at least a few inches, and hiding every semblance of a grabbable hand or wrist. This Wizzrobe had lost someone, someone incredibly dear to it, Lettie assumed immediately. Was it afraid of getting too close to anyone else for fear of losing them, too, or had it accepted that it would never find someone like the one it lost, so there was no bother trying? Perhaps it could be both, for Lettie had gone through the same turbulent storm of emotions at the passing of her late spouse.

The two met eyes and the old Hylian immediately felt a connection. As if her suspicions were confirmed right then and there. Desperately she wanted to wrap her wrinkled arms around this monster and tell it things would get better. That there is a sunset after the storm. But accepting that is a choice that Rezek would have to make, and it did not look ready. It instinctively turned away from Lettie's gaze. Even though Rezek knew her from watching Sledge give her the book, it wasn't ready to share that grief with a Hylian. At this point it'd rather deal with the inane questions the peanut gallery behind her undoubtedly had.

But neither of those moments came. Lettie respected Rezek's distance and the crowd fizzled, leaving them waiting for the next monster to walk out. The first part of Sledge they saw was the snout, cautiously sliding out the door, its whole head coming into view then rising high above the door frame as it stood back up from the hunch it needed to enter Hylian doors. Every head of Akkala Stable tiled higher, higher, until the Moblin stood at full height. Sledge felt even taller than usual, standing on the front porch while the rest were at the foot of the lab. Lightheaded from the tumultuous evening, and suddenly finding itself before at least a dozen judging Hylians, the Moblin's knees wobbled and it had to sit back down soon. Grabbing the wooden frame, Sledge eased itself down to Robbie's left. It sat criss-crossed, looking upon the Hylians gazing upon it in awe and slight terror. It was one thing to hear about the monsters at the Lab, and Lettie's testimony, but seeing one as large as Sledge up-close turned them into gape-mouthed gawkers. None of them noticed Khini hidden amongst the group clenching his fists and gritting his teeth in an irrational rage - all the polite inhibitions disappearing upon the sight of the Moblin.

Before Sledge could even take a moment to introduce itself to the wide-eyed crowd, Lettie threw Hoz's and Rudi's supportive arms down to sprint over to it. She slightly hobbled, but couldn't care less about her old joints when there were more important matters ahead of her. And that mattered was wrapping her arms around Sledge's lowered snout. The Moblin fully embraced the grandma hug, taking care not to squeeze her too tight, and tried to hold back the waterworks fruitlessly.

"Ohhhh it's so good to see you again, Sledge!" Lettie said, fiercely swaying back and forth and giving it a big grandmotherly smooch on the side of its wrinkled snout.

"It is good to see you too, Lettie," Sledge said, nearly choking on its words, "I am glad you are still around…"

"Wha!" she said, jolting back, arms crossing dramatically and feigning offense to tease it, "I may be old, but I ain't dying!"

That helped lighten the mood, especially for Sledge who let out the most genuine laugh before turning back to the other Hylians - some biting their lips thinking about what they would've done if Lettie wasn't there to stop them. A lot of them finally noticed that something was different about this Mobkin visually, too. It was only when it bowed its snout that they saw the jagged and pointed edges of its snapped horn. It didn't take a genius to infer that it had been through too much already.

"Yes, I am Sledge," it said, lifting its head up again, "I heard enough while I was inside, so give me a moment. This is not what you called an 'evolution' of monsters, but a liberation - and one that will benefit all of Hyrule."

The deep voice of the Moblin entranced the denizens of the Akkala Stable, now desperate to hear more. Lettie stayed in-between Sledge and the other Hylians, showing she trusted it far beyond just words.

"We are what monsters should be, without the corruption of Malice. I do not know why we were bound to The Calamity, but mine and my fellow monsters' existence proves it is not natural. And every day we are fighting against it so our kind can live without that wretched curse. We have the chance to create so much…but only if we are allowed to. We do not expect every Hylian to think kindly of us; I know too well that it is a foolish endeavor. Just see us for what we are: living, breathing, thinking creatures like the others you share a home with. So that when the rest of us monsters are freed, we can all rebuild this land."

Skepticism still persisted amongst the Hylians. Not in the Moblin's words, but whether its goals were even achievable. Many couldn't lie that they likely would never get used to seeing Bokoblins, Moblins, and the like walking around casually after everything that's happened. They'd believe it when they see it, so it was up to Sledge to make that vision real. Still, its voice carried a deep weight that shook the others to their core. And the way it hugged Lettie as if she was its own grandmother brought with the crowd memories of a youth that was long past or simply absent.  Perhaps it was really possible. 

"There is still another of us that would like to be introduced," Sledge said, snapping everyone out of their daze and turning towards the entrance. For a moment nothing came - leaving the crowd staring at an ajar door. But then slowly the very tip of a pearl-white horn came into view. A few instantly recognized the shape as Lizalfos, and eagerly awaited Zayl's head popping out from the lab. As more of its body eased out into the night air Zayl's eyes darted up, down, left, right - anywhere but towards the faces of the Hylians. So far their reaction was manageable, tepid even. After seeing a Moblin face-to-face Lizalfos were hardly any different. Even without looking, Zayl could sense the lukewarm reaction and got the courage to step out further. However, when its metallic tail came into view all but a few of them suddenly gasped - followed by corrective shushing. Though they tried not to stare, the wide eyes of the Hylians still zeroed in on what was meant to be a marvel of technology. Zayl winced, not sure if the pity or the shock made it feel worse. It meandered further to Sledge's left, hoping that if it moved further off-center it wouldn't be the center of attention any longer.

"Hi," the Lizalfos said with a jerky nervous wave, "My name is Zayl."

Lettie almost brought herself to tears upon seeing Zayl's full body. She knew her own people were responsible for this, the way it carried itself was apparent enough. Again, she felt that shared guilt all too similar to when she gazed upon Sledge's face for the first time. The old Hylian looked up at Sledge, motioning over to Zayl and mouthed something unseen and unheard. Sledge nodded, and Lettie moved in-between them - gingerly wrapping her arm under its chin. Without a second thought Zayl leaned towards her.

"Oh, you poor baby. It's alright, Zayl," she softly cooed, the smooth scaly skin gradually warming up to her touch, "I think you look great this evening…"

"What happened to its tail?" Rudi blurted out without thinking, and was promptly jabbed in the side from Hoz and shot a look that could kill from Lettie. Zayl shrunk inwards meekly, grabbing the tip. The metallic sheen at that spot had rubbed off entirely, giving the end a more brownish bronze look than the rest of the length, due to the Lizalfos' nervous habit.

"You should be asking Hateno that, instead," came a new voice from the inside. Out of the lab stepped Purah, dark circles under her eyes that told more of a story than words could. Khini flinched upon seeing her, the others next to him giving the man an awkward side-eye. 

"Hateno?" Hoz said with a sharp inhale, the name now in infamy, sending a wave of chills through his body, "Were they the same monsters?"

Purah passed Robbie and wandered over to Sledge's right, leaning nonchalantly on its shoulder - the Moblin still managing to find enough sarcasm within to roll its eyes at her. The blanket of night covered his steaming red face, but Khini had a hard time concealing his trembling fists. Just like last night, he tormented his own mind with all the possible reasons those two could act so casual around each other. The mention of Hateno drew too much attention for the rest to notice - leaving Khini to stew in his self-inflicted rage.

"Yes and no," she said with a shrug, "Sledge and Rezek weren't there, they were with Robbie. But Zayl and I were. Alongside Kobb - a Bokoblin you unfortunately won't be able to meet tonight as it's currently in Tabantha with Linky…"

"Tell us…what really happened in Hateno," Hoz said, not exactly prepared for whatever he might hear.

Purah sighed heavily, pursing her lips.

"Same thing that happened here, only there was no Lettie to stop them. A misunderstanding turned to assumptions, assumptions to fear, fear to violence. Couple of kids snooping around scared Zayl. Well…they all scared each other, really. The 'concerned Hylians' issued their 'ultimatum', I refused, and…you can go there yourself and look at the charred remains of my lab to see the outcome of that. And as for Zayl…it lost the most out of all of us that night.…"

Eyes darted from Zayl’s prosthetic, the soft blue lights especially prominent in the night, to Purah and then back. Hateno was an odd topic, as accounts ranged wildly in order and severity of events. Some would have you believe that almost the whole town got burned down. Yet the testimony that was hardest for them to process was one that went against every single one they had heard before. They wanted to believe it was a misunderstanding, especially now that they had a chance to meet the monsters in question, but cognitive dissonance gripped like a burr to their minds.

"But I heard a Bokoblin attacked the mayor!" a Hylian man shouted from the crowd.

Purah scoffed loudly through her nose, laughing at the complete unrepentance of the village that nearly took everything from her.

"Hah! Is that what they're running with?! Conveniently, they left out the part where the mayor was trying to wring my neck out, first!"

The reaction was once again uncertain. Purah could sense the apprehension in the shifting of their feet and rolled her eyes again. While they had made great headway by now, to convince them that their own would commit such a sin would take some effort. Sledge gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder as she closed her eyes, shook her head, and sighed once more.

“Look, you can choose what you want to believe. But I was there. Zayl was there. Our story is worth a thousand spins of the rumor mill. They’re all just trying to survive - same as the rest of us. And if you think something like Hateno could never happen, that the ‘good folk’ there could never act so unreasonable, look at how you were acting just tonight.”

The shame returned to the Akkala Stable residents, and something clicked in their brains. Even through Lettie’s scolding many of them planned on softly apologizing, then returning home with the same fears and doubts that Khini had sowed. With this, the gravity of the situation at last dawned on them. Many thought back to the riled up animals they were acting like just minutes ago. They would have burned that lab down, or at least tried to, had Lettie not stepped in. They had turned into a self-sufficient machine of rage and fear, only stopped by a lone Hylian throwing herself onto the gears to halt its progress. Nobo, the one who was the first to lay her weapon down, stepped in front of the rest with a grave stare.

“Alright…we believe you,” she said, turning around to make sure everyone else was in agreement, and was met with several nods and an assortment of grunts, “But I…really don’t know what to say. I have family in Hateno! How much of the village attacked you?”

“There were enough torches to create a wall of fire…” Zayl said softly as it shivered, its eyes reflecting an orange glow that acted as a window to that fateful night. 

Nobo was taken aback, almost ready to deny again.

“That is…how do I confront them on this? I’d like to believe they weren’t there, but I almost did the same thing? How would I even ask them?! What would I say if they were there?”

“It is never easy to tell someone what they need to hear, but it must be done,” Rezek said bluntly and firmly. Looking across the crowd, it was evident many shared Nobo’s sentiment - also having family and friends in Hateno as well. It was the largest Hylian settlement post-Calamity, so who knows how many participated in the burning of Purah’s Lab. Still, the Wizzrobe’s words resonated with them enough that it saw determination in their eyes for the first time. A chance to make things right, and no longer wallow in self-pity, was suddenly tossed in their lap. But despite this, the man next to Hoz had to get his final word in.

"There’s still one loose end I can’t shake my mind off of,” Rudi said, tapping his finger on his bushy facial hair, “Khini here claimed you also had a Hinox here. If it’s like the ones we’ve met here, then there hopefully should be no problem. I just need to know so I can finally get a good night’s sleep. As the stablehand, it’s my job to ensure this level of security.”

Robbie and Purah exchanged nervous glances, knowing that Sterre’s Hylian was hardly up to snuff. Purah also then shot a dirty glare right at Khini, who jolted his arms to his side and gulped. It appears that they had found the source of this entire problem in the form of a sneaky snoop. Robbie raised a single eyebrow, mentally noting that it was past time to upgrade his security.

“Oh, he did now? Well, in that case we can just cut through the lab to the back so you all can meet Sterre.”

Sterre…the very name sounded regal, and cleverly Robbie had put the Hylians in an etiquette snare. In the safety of the lab, they were much less likely to make a scene if the meeting went poorly. Moreover if they walked around back so much of Sterre would be obscured by the night that the Akkala Stable might go into a panic if they let their imagination do all the work for them. And the nail in the coffin: it would be rude to refuse an invitation. Robbie motioned to Zayl, Rezek and Sledge that they're all heading inside, which they did begrudgingly. Rezek was the most pessimistic of all of them, grumbling quietly about how this was a bad idea - Purah silently in agreement. Once Robbie held the door open for everyone else, Hoz and Rudi stepped through without hesitation. That was enough for the rest of the Akkala Stable to follow, everyone piling into the lab that now felt much smaller once a crowd of Hylians were shoved inside. 

The door behind them was left hanging open as the numerous heads swiveled around at the technical wonders all around them. The stationary automaton previously known as Cherry softly hummed in the center, while the wall of books and ancient Sheikah doodads loomed over them. Symin and Jerrin sat at the table in the kitchen, nervously watching the other Hylians gawk. Sledge tried to find a spot in the corner not to stick out like a sore thumb, but even sitting down it towered over the rest. Subtly it scooted over the back door in case it had to translate for the Hinox in the backyard. Robbie opened his arms unceremoniously to the messy lab before them.

"Well! What you see is what you get! I hope this also clears up any nasty rumors about the Sheikah as well," he said, flushing the stable residents' faces red. The door to the backyard was partially ajar as well - a few Hylians craning their necks just to get a glimpse. But all they could see was a bluish black darkness outside.

"Sterre!" he called out the door, "Everything's fine, but the Hylians down at the stable would like the chance to meet you…"

A low grumbling returned, followed by a very muffled thump. Sledge poked its head out and repeated Robbie's words but in Malician - followed by a few back and forth exchanges of words that none of the Akkala Stable could understand. Returning to the crowd and holding its breath, Sledge slowly swung the door open - bringing the Hylians at eye-level with the massive Hinox.

Many jumped in surprise or yelped, not expecting to see that singular giant yellow eye and toothy underbite this close. Sterre was laying on its stomach just so it could be level with the ground floor. The frame wasn't even wide enough for its entire head, hiding its ears and horn. Once the shock wore off, Hoz and the rest could see its lighthearted half-smile and the relief beyond its eye. Lettie almost chuckled at seeing its face, compared to how the rest were raving about the dangers of a Hinox this close to the stable. With the Malice gone, she doubted Sterre would be willing to hurt a lone meadow shrew.

"My name is Sterre," it said through the door before having to take a long pause for its next words, "Hylian speak of mine not good now. Sorry…"

Reception was befuddled, and Sledge stretched up to the Hinox's ear to recover this first impression.

"You do not need to add 'speak' since 'Hylian' also means their language. It is confusing, but you will get used to it. Also you would put the belonging before the object, not after. Go ahead and try it again."

Sterre cleared its throat, reverberating the floor, and gave it another go.

"My Hylian is not good, but I am…wording? Learning. Yes, learning. Only little days since I broke from the Malice."

Sledge gave a thumbs up, then after a few more hushed whispers, stood between the Hinox and the Hylians. Sterre's deep voice spoke their own monster language as Sledge acted as a second mouth - translating appropriately.

"I can see the hesitation in your faces and I understand why. That is why I speak to you through this door. I am aware of how I stretch higher than the rest, and the fear it brings. Even amongst our own ranks of monsters we were feared. But you must understand, we Hinoxes are not meant to be violent. It is not in our nature, as I have realized in my time outside the Malice. Suddenly, a burden of care has been thrust upon me so I do not hurt the ones that helped me. Every movement of my hands or feet must be considered - as my strength could easily break down a wall if I am not careful. It is difficult, and I have even considered moving somewhere where that is not a concern, but it is a reminder that consideration has always been here. That I am indeed more like the rest of Hyrule than different. I really do hope that we can still cooperate, or live separately but peacefully if you wish."

Sledge obviously added some embellishments there, but the message was the same. To hear these words, even indirectly, was nothing short of moving. There was no raucous applause to Sterre's speech, but the notion that even a Hinox could be freed, and was trying to right the wrongs of The Calamity, roused a primal understanding among them. 

"I never would've expected this in all my years, but you're good company, Sterre," Rudi said with the slightest of smiles hidden in his mustache.

"Well…I guess that settles everything," Hoz said, scratching his head underneath his helmet.

"You're damn right," Lettie spat back, still angry at the man for only finding some backbone now. She also stood on her tippy toes trying to find that infernal man, the one who hadn't muttered but a single apology yet, but he was conveniently hiding just out of sight - biting his nails nervously.

"Okay, but what do we do now?" one of the stable regulars asked, "We can't just go to bed after all of this!"

Sledge stood taller and directed its own voice towards all the Hylians.

"What almost happened tonight is no coincidence. It happened before and it will happen again…but only if you let it. If you wish to make things right just like we do, then show it with your actions, not words."

“But not all of us are fighters!” another Hylian called out.

"Then tell everyone,” Sledge said so matter-of-factly it might as well have been an order, “Do not tell them where we are, but tell them our story. Tell them how you met us, and who we really are. Right now, Hateno is the only narrative running through the Hylians. We are meeting with the other races of Hyrule, and it has gone well, but I am afraid the overlap between them and the Hylians will be too small. Hyrule has become too divided. The first rumors may have done too much damage already and we cannot have Hateno be the leading story. For the sake of our future, the truth must be told."

The Moblin was met with many nods, a new hotter fire brewing in their eyes. It was a simple request, but that was what made it so effective. It offered a way for them to make a tangible effort, and make up for their own wrongdoings in one fell swoop. Lettie smiled and gave Sledge a subtle thumbs-up, who bit its tongue bashfully - proud of its speech. Just as the last of the Akkala Stable was ready to head out the door and finally get some shut eye, a high-pitched “Whoops!” came from the spiral bannister. Every head turned towards what was the tiniest Ice Wizzrobe they had ever seen, spying on the scene from the top steps before missing a step and slipping - catching itself midair.

“Ashen!” Rezek hissed with an urgency, dashing up the stairs to intercept it. A wave of nostalgia blasted across the Hylians, hearing their own parents’ voice in that tone, and in some cases their own voices as well. In one smooth motion Rezek scooped up Ashen and held it over its shoulder daintily.

“Ashen, I told you to stay upstairs…”

“I still can’t sleep, Rezek…and I heard a lot of talking downstairs…”

“Please, just stay in your bedroom for now where it is safe. I will tell you what happened tomorrow.”

The complaints of the younger Wizzrobe carried across the lab, growing muffled and then quiet as Rezek hastily carried it back to the 2nd story bedrooms. Their attention away from the two Wizzrobes, Akkala Stable’s eyes then turned to another certain individual - heads turning to their target like a Guardian Turret. A circle of people gradually formed around the once-hiding Khini, those next to him distancing themselves as much as possible. Now he was the recipient of those same contorted faces of hatred he had created yesterday, except these were different. It was not a blind, irrational anger, but the kind that comes from a mother bear protecting her cubs. Lettie had to be held back by Rudi from lunging at the man on the spot. Meanwhile Khini’s once-triumphant posture had deflated to a pathetic hunched cower. Sledge and the rest picked up on the implications, and each turned to him accordingly with an even greater anger.

"Tell me, Khini," Hoz said, his thin mustache twitching alongside a vein in his forehead as his cheeks flushed red with a growing rage, "At any point in your rambling yesterday did you mention that one of these monsters was a child?!"

He could have lied again and chalked it up to misunderstanding, as lying came as naturally as breathing to Khini, but his hesitation was what did him in. He had purposely left Ashen out of the picture he painted to make his case better, and it was as obvious as a festering blister. Disgust accompanied the anger - horrified that they could have taken the life of a child all thanks to Khini’s willingful omission. He opened his mouth to speak, but Hoz was having none of it.

"Get out.” he growled, instinctively reaching for the sword on his belt that was no longer there, “You have until sunrise to get the hell out of Akkala or I'm running you through, myself.”

The sentiment echoed in Rudi, Lettie, Nobo, and the rest of the Akkala Stable. To say they were beside themselves in anger was the understatement of the century. But the worst for Khini was seeing the look from Sledge. Those disapproving eyes stung more than the ones from his own peers. To be brought down to a Moblin’s level, nay, below a Moblin’s level was unbearable. And the audacity it had to look upon him like that? A monster, taking the moral high ground? The same one that dared to be so close to one of his own?! Any sense of shame Khini may have felt was thrown out the window like bathwater, a bubbling cauldron of bitter animosity replacing it. Self-preservation be damned, he would have the last laugh. Lowering his head in feigned defeat, he silently nodded and turned towards the open front door - relaxing Hoz and the other Hylians but putting them off-guard. His hands already close to his chest, and frontside hidden from sight, nobody saw the slim dagger he had stashed in his pockets. His face turned manic as he clutched the blade in his shaky hands, taking heavy deliberate steps before pounding a foot on the floor. Eyes of a rabid dog, Khini swiftly turned around and lunged with the dagger towards Sledge - baring his teeth and screeching. Acting on reaction, the other Hylians couldn’t move fast enough to stop the glint of steel speeding in the direction of the Moblin’s guts. 

SLAM!

Yelps and screams of the Akkala Stable residents followed, and Khini was pinned to the wall as fast as lightning before he even got within an arm's reach of his target. The man’s head jostled, blood quickly matting his brown hair. The hand that held the dagger was violently grasped by another, unable to move his wrist. Another hand had gripped the collar of his shirt so forcefully the fabric tore at the seams. What felt like a velvety foot was pressed down on his free hand, leaving Khini completely immobilized. His blurry vision adjusted through his crooked glasses, the smell of ozone filling his nostrils, to see who exactly intercepted his assault. He was met with a dark face, burning yellow eyes and flashing white teeth splitting from the void. It was Rezek. The Wizzrobe had reacted all the way from the top of the stairs and practically fell on the Hylian from above. Softly it floated, Rezek’s own wind magic pressing it firmly against Khini, sticking him to the wall like a spider catching an insect. There were also two more daggers firmly aimed at his throat, belonging to Robbie and Purah who had jumped into action as well. Unblinking, Rezek stared into the man’s now-terrified eyes. With such speed and precision, he wondered how he was even alive. But the Wizzrobe’s furious face said it all. It could have killed him with little effort at any point, if it wanted to. The ambient magical aura was so strong that Khini had no doubt it had the power to take out the entirety of Akkala Stable just swirling around inside it. He could feel the restraint as Rezek firmly pressed into him, the restraint not to let loose a barrage of sparks and mayhem. The other Hylians stood slack-jawed, suddenly very relieved that they had not gone with Khini’s initial plan.

"You should consider yourself very lucky, Hylian," Rezek said with definite space between each word, slowly prying the knife out of his hand, "that we are not the monsters you think we are…"

With the dagger wrestled out of his hand, Rezek dropped it at his feet, the blade landing right between them with a satisfying CHUNK. The Wizzrobe motioned with its head and the two Sheikah sheathed their swords and gave it some more room. The collar of Khini’s shirt was stretched further, Rezek throwing the man towards the door. He stumbled and almost made a hard landing with the other side of his head, but caught himself on the wooden frame. Quickly he turned again under the lab entrance, shameless and still bottled full of rage. The rest of the Hylians now stood with Lettie, bringing themselves between Khini and the monsters, daring him to take another step forward.

“Y-you will see! You monsters and…interlopers!” he snarled, spitting at the ground with his eyes switching between Sledge and Purah, “That you do not belong on Hylian soil! And will be rightfully purged!”

Khini then took off into the night, barreling down the hill towards the stables. Rudi grew wide-eyed and soon took chase - worried that the man might sabotage his beloved stable if left unchecked. His angry barks carried out the lab until he, too, gradually faded into the blackness between the two softly glowing buildings. 

“I certainly hope that’s the last we’ll see of him…” Hoz said, wringing his fists that were just begging to be swung. Lettie patted his hand, also lamenting that she never got the chance to duff that man across the cheek.

“Dirt like him always seems to come back,” Rezek said with gritted teeth, staring at the open door, “and usually stronger. You should keep an eye on that…Khini…if it can be helped.”

Hoz nodded, having half a mind to run down there with Rudi just to make sure he wasn’t stirring up last-minute trouble before getting kicked out. But before that, he had just one more question to wrap everything up.

“Would it be alright for any of us to visit?” he asked, “You all are close enough that it wouldn’t hurt for me to check up every so often. Plus, it’d mean you can ditch the smoke n’ mirrors. I was wondering why your rations orders had gone up tenfold before all this!”

“Honestly?” Robbie said with a small chortle, glancing at Purah, “We will take all the help we can get.”

With a soldier-like salute, Hoz snapped his chin up gallantly.

“Then we will discuss the rest soon! I’m…going to go to bed” he said, deflating nearly instantly. The weight carried to those around him, the call to sleep sagging shoulders and darkening eyes. One by one they filed out the door politely, a few even saying farewell to the monsters around them. Lettie strayed behind the rest just to give Sledge and Zayl one last hug before turning to Rezek. Her arms spread wide with a look that told the Wizzrobe it’d be much less trouble to just accept it. With a begrudging sigh, Rezek huffed and floated down to wrap its arms around Lettie. The quietest “thank you” was heard only by her, its hands firmly gripping onto the soft fabric of her shirt before quickly snapping away. But the hour of evening was weighing down on her, too, and Robbie escorted her out the door and back towards the lab - Hoz hanging back to help her down the hill.

At last the front door was shut and Robbie immediately slid to the ground, considering the floor as tonight’s bed if Jerrin didn’t hustle over to ease him back up. Purah followed, taking the few lazy steps over to her bedroll in the book nook and faceplanting right into it. Right as Rezek began to float back upstairs, Sledge had some final words.

“I would have handled that, it was so obvious what he was planning you could see it a whole field away,” it said, almost disappointed it wasn’t the one to slam Khini against the wall.

Rezek snickered and wagged its finger tauntingly.

“Be quicker next time! Not my fault…”

“Tch, it just seems all anyone wants to do is jump in and save me…”

“Well…that is because you’re worth saving…” Rezek said as it turned away. A muffled mumbling was all Sledge heard.

Day 15: 27 days until the next possible Blood Moon

The warm coals of the central brazier still glowed red, Kobb and the Aerocuda curled around it. The harsh mountain winds howled past the bubble of the hot springs, but the two slept like a log. It had decided to stay the night at the Flight Range rather than back at Rito Village - both to tend the new monster that practically fell into its lap and to get some peace and quiet away from that one certain Rito. Yet today was the day that Kobb would be dueling it. Its large ears twitched, feeling the vibration of someone climbing the ladder, and groggily lifted its head to see Link’s familiar swishy blonde hair rise up. The Bokoblin stretched, patting the Aerocuda’s head, and gentry pried itself from the flying monster’s grip. Still sleepy, the Aerocuda laid its flat head on the floor, lolling its tongue out.

“You ready for today?” Link said with some morbid sarcasm, worrying for Kobb the whole night.

“I may be, but I do not think Hebra is…” it replied, turning its head towards the softly croaking Aerocuda. After everyone else had left, it had decided to name the monster where it came from last night.

“Awww, I like that name!” he said, kneeling down to get a closer look at it, “But I guess it still needs time to recover?”

The rope burns had mostly subsided, but the Aerocuda still looked absolutely drained of energy from the day before.

“Mmhmm…it can fly on its own, but I do not want to stress it too much.”

“Do you still need my paraglider?”

“No. I will manage without,” Kobb said, not an ounce of doubt in its voice.

Link pursed his lips, afraid Kobb had given up after he scolded it yesterday.

“So you’re fighting Thrush grounded? Are you sure about this, Kobb?”

As it was bending down to sling a nearby bow over its back, the Bokoblin turned its head towards Link with a smirk and a glint in its eye he had seen enough to recognize that Kobb had a plan.

“I will be grounded…but not helpless,” it said, reaching to scritch Hebra under the chin.

[ivalice-tifalucis]

Blue World

Guys, since TT3 is coming back and we're packing up our hype for the next album, I think let's make another post about Barlliams/Creamcakes aka my favorite ship in Take That crumbs.

I don't know why any of you haven't talked about this yet. Maybe you have but I didn't see it or know but haven't talked about this yet or maybe I've seen you talked about it but I forget for some reason.

In 2018, in one of his now deleted youtube live streaming which I actually watched when it was live (which is rare because I can count on one hand how many times I watch any live stream that he did), he showed this unreleased Take That song likely from Progress era based on the tune that sounds like Eight Letters, the beat that is Progress-like, and even "in requiem" words which become a whole song by Gary in his solo album. If you listen closely, this is clearly a duet between Rob and Gaz.

Edit: Can I just say I was internally screaming in 2018 when I first hear Blue World. We are so parched of CC crumbs that this got me gasping like OMG THAT'S GARY'S VOICE!!!!! (starts from 1:56)

Another time where he played this song again in Coronaoke series on instagram live back in 2020 during early pandemic. In this year, he said the title to this song is "Blue World" and played the song from start to finish. Trying to make this blog entry make me realize he actually played a different version of the song in 2018 and in 2020. I think they are reworking this song, hmmm interesting isn't it?

I tried to write the lyrics based on what I heard and try to tell which part is Robbie and which is Gary. It is hard and I might be wrong because Robbie's higher register and Gary's higher/middle register actually sounds similar which is something that I realized when Gary fill in Robbie's part in Everything Changes (Odyssey Version) in the last part of the song "thinking thinking about you". It took me like couple of listening to finally realize wait a minute, that's Gary's voice not young Robbie's. The only difference is that Gary has that soft edges on his voice while Robbie doesn't have that.

Plus, Robbie was karaoke-ing over this song and being Robbie he doesn't even know the right words of his own songs and sing the wrong words and sometimes just mumbles so I have to pay close attention to the song in the background. There are small parts that I still can't catch what the lyric is. I hope they released this song at some point. Have been waiting since 2018 and still wait patiently.

Edit 2: thanks @beautyofred for the notice. It is “You know how young we were” 😭, "You might be living but we're holding hands", "Can't stand the frequency here". After this, it makes even more sense this song is about them. So in the 2018 version, Blue World is basically like this:

(Gary) Blue world, your fate is calling Blue world, at last control A new world of final curtain calls Look how we've come together Just when we've reached the end In requiem

(Robbie) You know how young we were And feel how much it hurts We might be loving but we're holding hands We might be leaving but we're making plans Below our bleeding sky watching our mother's die It seems forever wasn't long enough Why must we always lose the ones we love?

(Gary) Will moment share it musters? But this fragile blue world With the cruel sunlight burning in our eyes ... And in 2020 it is like this:

(Robbie) Blue world, your fate is calling Blue world, at last control A new world of final curtain calls (Gary) Look how we've come together Just when we've reached the end In requiem

(Both) You know how young you were And feel how much it hurts You might be leaving but we're holding hands We might be dying but we're making plans Below our bleeding sky watching our mother's cry It seems forever wasn't long enough Why must we always lose the ones we love? (Robbie) Will moment share it musters? But this fragile blue world With the cruel sunlight burning in our eyes (Gary) You said, I don't know if I could love you for the rest of your life But I’ll love you for the rest of mine That we're led around your silent heart (Robbie) A blue balloon on a barbwire The weather on the ground is catching fire now And when you hear that sound (Both) You know how young we were And feel how much it hurts You might be leaving but we're holding hands We might be dying but we're making plans Below our bleeding sky watching our mother's die It seems forever wasn't long enough Why must we always lose the ones we love? (I'm sure this part changes at this 3rd reff but I can't catch what it is)

(Both) Because can't stand the frequency here Call my name and I'll appear I'm traveling at the speed of light When nothing matters but the life that seep your eyes (Gary) Hold us together Hold us together Hold us together Hold us together I know a secret about you

(Both) You know how young we were And feel how much it hurts You might be leaving but we're holding hands We might be dying but we're making plans Below our bleeding sky watching our mother's cry You know forever wasn't long enough Why must we always lose the ones we love?

You know how young we were (Hold us together) And feel how much it hurts (Hold us together) You might be leaving but we're holding hands (Hold us together) ....

[rookie-critic]

Barbie (2023, dir. Greta Gerwig) - review by Rookie-Critic

[NOTE: This ended up being a bit more spoiler-y than I had originally intended, so if you haven't seen the film and plan to, maybe skip this review for now.]

What a revolution this movie has caused. Waves of pink, hoards of men/women/people adopting "I am Kenough" as a mantra, the Indigo Girls are back in fashion, and I have no doubt that, come the beginning of the university school year, we'll see frat after frat moving into their new Mojo Dojo Casa Houses. This film had already won the country over well before it even came out, and now that it is we're now in the third consecutive weekend of Barbie sitting comfortably atop the box office throne. Those ninja turtles never stood a chance (though I did adore that film, as well, but that's for another review). I must admit, I am apart of the wave of people singing this film's praises. It's visually striking, it's hilarious, the messaging is overt and in-your-face without being preachy, and we're seeing Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling at the top of their game.

When we start the film, we're greeted with a nod to the opening sequence of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, and to the voice of Helen Mirren explaining to us that, once Barbie came along and squashed out the era of baby dolls, her existence solved sexism and female quality issues for good, because Barbie proved that women can be anything. Of course, this is not the case, and the film uses it's next hour and 45 minutes diving into the reality of the modern world through the eyes of one of those dolls. The perfect, pink-streaked world of Barbieland lies in stark contrast to the harsh realities of the real world, and our two main characters react to this knowledge in very different ways. First, we have Barbie, who reacts with bewilderment and disbelief at the idea that everything she thought she knew about the world and women's place in it was a lie, but then, there's Ken. Ken, having lived his whole in the perceived service of Barbie, is stoked, because of course he would be. Men (and horses) rule the world, of course.

Now, going down this path, it would have been very easy for the film to be very blanketly "anti-men," but it even manages to avoid doing that, instead choosing to go down the path that Ken is misguided, merely a person who's never really tried to live life for himself and more for the idea of what he should be. In that the film draws a surprising amount of parallels between the two main characters, because even Barbie goes on a self-discovery journey of sorts. She has to come to terms with the black-and-whiteness of her worldview, and has to reconcile with the idea of there being things like cellulite and aging, and has to come to terms with the fact that the world has a good fair way to go before it's as utopian as a place like Barbieland. This is all accented in a scene that's relatively early in the film when Barbie meets an older woman for the first time upon coming to the real world. Barbie has just cried for the first time and looks over to find an elderly woman sitting on the bench next to here. The woman gives Barbie a smile and Barbie tells her she's beautiful, to which she replies "I know!" It's kind of the pin on which the whole film balances. Then there's also the character of Allan (played with as much endearing awkwardness as you'd expect from Michael Cera) who, even when all of the Ken's go off the deep-end into a Matchbox Twenty, leather-clad nightmare, keeps his head, and understands the bad things about what the Kens are doing.

It's a very deep film that is presenting itself as a colorful comedy, it's thoughtful without being obtuse and critical of its source without being dismissive, and it manages to do all of this without sacrificing being a very lighthearted and entertaining film on the surface. It's all very impressive, and is only hindered by the small nitpick that, for a film focusing on how our preconceived notions of things need to be knocked down and we should all live for ourselves and be whoever we really are, it is strangely reinforcing of the gender binary. I would have liked to have seen the film explore that side of things a bit, but it didn't detract too much from the overall experience. Crybabies like Ben Shapiro be damned, Barbie is delightful, and just as good as you've been led to believe.

Score: 9/10

Currently only in theaters.